#I’m sure they were planning this moment for probably longer than this art was thought of

[venus-haze]

Brother's Keeper (Bo Sinclair x Reader)

Summary: You’re Vincent’s. You have been since you ended up in Ambrose. Bo decides it’s time to make an exception.

Note: Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. Please read the warnings before deciding whether you want to read. Before anyone asks, I’m already planning a Vincent-centric follow-up. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Extremely dubious consent since reader is Vincent’s captive, elements of Stockholm syndrome, sadism (mentioned in reference to Vincent but also Bo to the reader), dacryphilia, slapping, blood, mommy kink, overstimulation, I guess cheating? There’s a lot going on in this. Do not interact if you’re under 18.

Even though your eyes were closed, you knew the man coming down the stairs wasn’t Vincent. He’d wordlessly disappeared up them about an hour earlier, no indication of where he was going or when he’d return. Unusual that he’d be gone for so long and not leave you a note with a vague idea of what was going on. Maybe it was urgent.

You hadn’t seen Bo in a while, though you’d certainly heard him plenty of times. While Vincent had a knack for slinking around like a cat, Bo reminded you of a wolf, howling loud with his razor sharp teeth on display. All the better to eat you with. You had the feeling that if he’d gotten to you first, he would have taken up hunting you for sport.

You sat up, blinking your eyes open. They didn’t need  to adjust to the dim lighting anymore. The last time Vincent had brought you upstairs for the shower you begged for (and now felt long overdue for another), you were dismayed to find the bright lights stung your eyes. You asked him to just turn off the lights altogether. The longer you spent there in his studio—lair, as you’d come to personally refer to it—with him, the more like him you were becoming, slowly but surely made in his image. 

Bo’s eyes were dark in the basement where Vincent kept you and all of his other art supplies. For the longest time, you thought his eyes, and, in turn, Vincent’s, were brown. Instead, they were a raging, stormy blue that threatened to drown you in their depths if you stared too long. 

“You just sleep all day, huh? Leave us to do all the work?” There was a joking lilt to his accusatory tone.

Though you knew better than to protest, you desperately wanted to. Being Vincent’s muse was unforgiving work. You were available to him at all times, posed and molded and used whenever he felt so inclined. Your body had been the victim of several bouts of artist’s block, bearing the scars of his frustration and inspiration. Most of them were due to candle wax burns.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

Bo’s eyes raked over your body, nearly nude save for the thin t-shirt and athletic shorts that barely reached your mid-thigh. Humiliation coursed through you when Vincent first presented you with the clothing, your size, taken from someone who was too dead to miss them, probably. The first clean clothes you had since he first imprisoned you. You soon found it to be the best choice with how hot it could get in his lair when he was working. Practical until that moment, when it left you exposed to Bo’s hunger for a handful of flesh.

“You look good. Vincent always took better care of his toys than I did,” Bo said with a grin, his tone eerily playful. “Mama said I was too rough.”

The chain around your ankle rattled as Bo pushed you back onto the bed. Less restraints than when you’d first been brought there, but you couldn’t parse a rhyme or reason as to what compelled Vincent to grant you these minute freedoms. 

“Please don’t,” you whispered. “He’ll know.” He knows everything. 

Whether you were easy to read or he was just observant, you had slowly convinced yourself Vincent was omniscient. Your captor was an otherworldly entity, aloof and removed from the messy emotions that you and the other poor, unfortunate souls who found yourselves in his lair were burdened with. He moved coolly, without care, without remorse. 

If Vincent were merely a man, what little bit of sanity you were clinging to would unravel. A man was vulnerable, conquerable, real. Like Bo. Brash and impulsive to contrast his twin. He unsettled you more than your silent captor. After god knows how long of being met with Vincent’s cold, emotionless wax face, the way Bo’s shifted with each mood, each thought, left you feeling overwhelmed. 

“Vince and me shared a lot growin’ up. He won’t mind,” he said, the alcohol on his breath burning your nostrils. 

His lips parted with the intention to devour, like a snake unhinging its jaw to swallow you whole. You wondered how long he’d been drinking, how long Vincent would be gone for, how long Bo had wanted to do this. Bo wouldn’t kill you, but you knew he didn’t care if you were in one piece. He growled against your mouth, his lips bullying yours into kissing him back.

Satisfied with your reluctant return of affection, his attention turned elsewhere. Coarse hands slid up your shirt, roughly massaging your breasts. He pinched your nipples, eliciting a pained moan from you that only reached his mouth. Upon feeling his lips upturn, a siren went off in your mind. So used to blindly vying for the approval of your unknowable captor, you shouldn’t know he’s enjoying this.

He broke the kiss to pull your shirt over your head. Wasting no time, he latched his lips to one of your nipples while his hand attended to the other one. His teeth tugged at your nipple almost experimentally before biting down a bit harder. 

Tears blurred your vision. Where the hell was Vincent? You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will the sound of him walking purposefully across the floorboards above. Instead, you were met with silence and the sound of your own whimpering.

You released a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding when Bo finally released your nipple from his mouth. He landed harsh slaps to each of your breasts, especially painful on the sensitive one he’d been—nursing on? Torturing was more like it.

A mean snarl had made its home on his face, reveling in your suffering at his hands. Rounding his arm back, his palm smacked against your cheek. And then it did again. And again. And again.

You could feel your lip split, your wailing echoing through the basement. He’ll know. Maybe that was what Bo wanted, because the slapping soon stopped.

“That’s it. Gimme those tears, mama,” he cooed, brushing his thumb against the wound he inflicted. He collected the blood that beaded at your lips and brought his finger to his mouth, sucking it clean.

Your brain felt fuzzy. Even worse, you could feel his words going straight to your pussy as it clenched around nothing but air.

“You cry this pretty for Vincent? Or just me?”

“J-Just you.”

He grinned. “Don’t I feel special.”

He slapped you one more time for good measure, harder than he had before. Your arms flew up to shield your face from further damage. His hands moved down your body instead, pulling your shorts down to your ankles. 

Suddenly, you didn’t feel his hands on your at all, and you glanced down to see what’d given him pause. His gaze was fixed on your upper thigh where Vincent had neatly and painfully carved his initials into your flesh some time prior, long enough for the mark to scar over. Bo glanced at you, expression unreadable for a split second wherein you felt some relief. 

His face soon betrayed his anger, and you felt your stomach drop upon hearing him unbuckle his belt. He then unzipped his jeans, pulling them and his underwear down to free his hard cock. There was no warning, no preparation as he pushed his length inside you. While the encounter hadn’t been about your pleasure in the first place, you realized with the pain between your legs that it’d turned into a punishment, and there was little you could do but lay back and take it.

“Lookit you, ‘bout to leave a wet spot in the fuckin’ mattress,” he mocked. “You’re a natural cockslut, ain’t you, mama?”

You earned another smack across the face for your silence.

“You answer me when I talk to you.”

“I’m a cockslut,” you forced out.

He groaned as tears rolled down your swollen cheeks. Still, his stamina proved to be more than you could handle, because your calves started to ache from flexing while being painfully close to orgasm. You choked out a sob, his pace relentless as he pounded into you. The metal bedframe clanged against the wall, a loud and ugly noise that made your skin crawl. It was as if he knew exactly what to do to make you feel like you were losing your mind.

“Gonna make you cum, mama. Leave you dreamin’ ‘bout my dick.” His words slurred together, probably from exerting so much energy in his intoxicated state.

You responded with a moan that sounded foreign coming from you. It was good enough for him, because he didn’t slap you this time, instead bringing his hand to your clit. His calloused fingers rubbed the sensitive bundle of nerves, and you grabbed his forearms for leverage.

“Know you’re close, way your pussy’s squeezin’ my dick. Wanna take it all, huh?”

“Wanna cum,” you moaned.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright then, cum,” he said, slapping your clit so hard you almost swore you saw stars. 

Your hips bucked, and your orgasm blazed white-hot through your body, fire engulfing your muscles as they constricted, black spots hazing your vision. You thought you were going to pass out. Vincent had brought you to that point before, thought it was usually from pain rather than the pleasure that overwhelmed you. 

Bo chased his own release, thrusts becoming sloppy as he got closer. “Fuckin’ whore, cum all over my cock like this.”

He finally bottomed out inside you. Your pussy clenched around his throbbing cock as he came, filling you with his cum. Cursing under his breath, he made eye contact with you, a lazy smirk spreading across his face.

He pulled out of you, licking his lips upon seeing his cum leak from your pussy onto the mattress beneath you. Physical evidence that he’d laid claim to you. The grown-up version of him messing with his brother’s toy. He was right about that much, at the end of the day, that’s what you were, biding your time until Vincent grew bored of you and moved onto something shiny and new.

Staring at the ceiling, you let out a shaky breath when you heard the sound of his pants zipper and then his belt buckle. There was no point in you pulling your flimsy articles of clothing back on. You jolted when he grabbed your unchained ankle.

“Thanks for the taste, darlin’,” he said with a wink, as if it were something you’d flirtingly suggested, a playful secret between the two of you.

After a few moments of silence, he disappeared upstairs unceremoniously. You listened to the sound of his heavy footfall until it became inaudible. The faint sound of a truck engine revving made you relax a bit. He was gone.

You laid motionless in the bed until Vincent finally returned, and it took everything in you not to scream at him. Where the fuck were you? He began walking toward you, freezing in place before rushing to your side. He knew. Your lip trembled at his concern. It wasn’t for your well-being as a person, you knew that much, but because you were his. His muse. His living, ongoing art piece. 

He touched your shoulder tentatively, and you avoided making eye contact with his mask. Were you angry? Or ashamed? 

His fingers moved to brush his initials in your skin. 

“He didn’t care,” you whispered.

You hissed when his fingers dug into your thigh. He moved his other hand, signing, “It won’t happen again.”

You scoffed. No acknowledgement he fucked up. No apology. You should’ve known better to expect that much from Vincent. The half-assed promise was the closest you’d get. Part of you hated yourself for finding some comfort in the cold familiarity of his emotional distance.

Vincent looked at you, his blue eye staring down yours, a whirlpool threatening to drag you into its depth until you closed your eyes. You heard a light rustling, but nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of his scarred lips pressing gently against your forehead. The tenderness was a momentary reprieve, as you felt him lift his hand from your thigh. You heard him walk a few feet away, the metal stool he favored scraping against the concrete. Feigning sleep, you waited for him to join you in bed.

[sirenscriptures]

hey! we need to talk.

well hello again!! i hope you’re all doing well. i feel like it’s been a minute since i’ve actually spoken to anyone on here.

as some of you may or may not have noticed, i’ve been pretty absent on this blog lately. at least, more than i usually am. i haven’t posted any writing in well over a month which is a little out of character for me. i’ve had quite a few writing blogs on here and i can’t really recall a time where it’s been that long without me posting at least a drabble.

in my time away from this app and from fic writing in general, i’ve realized a couple things changing about myself + my attitude towards this place in general.

honestly, i’ve come to the conclusion that i don’t really get the same satisfaction from writing on here as i used to. it could be due to the lack of feedback from the general public on here, or really just me admitting that i don’t want to write for pre-existing characters/storylines forever. let’s settle it as a mixture of both!

and don’t get me wrong, i still enjoy fanfiction writing. i adore the community here and the people i’ve had the privilege to meet even through the littlest moments. it’s made me not only a better creative, but also just better in general.

i’ve just been doing this kind of thing for so long (really since i was in 1st grade mapping out my first warrior cats fanmade storyline and oc), and i think between that, and all of these more mature/explicit writing blogs i’ve had in the past 4-5 years, maybe i’ve just grown tired of ALWAYS resorting to fanfiction.

i’ve always wanted to create something that is truly mine, and i feel like i’ve been sort of “limiting” myself this whole time in a weird way. a part of me knows it isn’t true, since this has been pretty expansive for my creativity. and it’s an art form that, in my opinion, doesn’t get anywhere near enough credit for all of the thought that goes into it. i mean, you have to be pretty damn creative to be able to write multiple descriptions of sexual penetration in the same oneshot that actually sound good, and don’t sound like they were ripped straight out of booktok. just saying! (that was a joke please don’t kill me)

anyways, this is getting to be way too long of a post for something so unimportant LMAO.

to get to the point, i’m not going to be active on this blog much longer. i’m probably going to post my final works in these next few months (possibly a few fics for my feeble attempt at a kinktober, and maybe a few for my bday month in december).

and just to clarify, this is in no way me saying that i’m leaving tumblr for good after those few months are up. this is also not me saying i’m quitting “fanmade” creative works forever. i still love writing a good fic and making fan art from time to time!

in the hopefully better part of this news, i have been planning out my art account for when i feel this blog has run its course and i’ve made everything i need to make. i probably won’t announce it publicly, but for those who want it when that time comes, i will definitely make sure you get the url. as usual, mooties get first pickings when that time comes <3

i don’t imagine this will disappoint many people since i’m not really “leaving” but who knows. i’m not expecting many people to even read this far or even notice if i’m here or not lol. i just didn’t want to deactivate out of the blue since that wouldn’t make sense for me to do.

even though i’ll still be on this blog for a few more months, i want to thank you all for giving me a space to grow and express myself. not just as a creative, but as a person too. this sounds really stupid and corny but i mean it. sure, i’ve never made record numbers on here, i’m not the most popular, but i can say without a doubt i have a wonderful group of people around me on here. even if we never meet in person, or if we never interact again outside of this blog, all of you on here will always be somewhere in my memory and i will always be so grateful for you since you made me feel like i was good enough to be seen. even if it was for my shitty smut fics. <3

i love and appreciate every single one of you. let’s have a great last few months on here, ok?

vlynn

[bangtaninborderland]

JHS- Twisted Feelings (5)

Summary: After working at an award show for 2 years everything had become normal, idols were no longer exciting to see, performances became dull and every day blended together, that was until an unexpected man asked for your help.

Genre: idol!jhope × fem!reader, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Warning: none for this chapter!

A/N: I have another chapter nearly done, im going to miss hobi sm. I hope you’re all still ready to enjoy this story. Also, fun fact - I got accepted to 4 universities :)

Ch.04 < Series Masterlist > Ch.06

You shuffled around one another for a few minuets, your earlier excitement bubbling down to a mere nervousness as you watch him take a seat him not quite opposite but not quite beside you.

You glance over him quickly, you weren’t up to date on all the luxury brands but you could tell his shoes alone probably cost your entire rent for a month.

“Is everything okay?” When he laughs it’s light, soft as though not to startle you from wherever he believed your thoughts had escaped too.

You wave your hand dismissively. “I’m fine, where do you want to start?”

“Wherever you think, you’re the teacher after all.”

Oh yeah, I’m the teacher.

“How about we try to have a simple conversation with the English you know? That was I could grasp what stage you’re at and where we need to focus to help you improve.” You suggest, leaning against the backrest of your chair.

He nods enthusiastically, you weren’t sure wether it was done to help quell your own worries, that you were sure you’d put on display within the past few minuets, or because unlike the majority of the population he was genuinely excited to learn.

Either way you were grateful.

Being bilingual you had always been asked what it was like to switch between languages, people never understood it was something that could just happen. You’d definitely made mistakes before, integrating Korean and English into a conversation without meaning too.

Switching to English was easy. “Can you introduce yourself?”

He took a breath clearing his throat. “I am jhope of BTS.”

“Can you tell me your favourite colour?”

“Colour?” You nod and he Humms. “I like green.”

“Great, now ask me something.”

He thinks for a moment before responding, stumbling a few times before successfully asking. “What is your favourite food?”

“Samgyeopsal, what do you like about being an artist?” You decide to make the question a little different, something more difficult.

“I like connecting with our army, producing too. I like my art and to dance.” He finished with a smile and for a moment it felt as if you were almost one of those ghastly English interviewers.

You make a few notes on the words he takes longer to respond with before continuing an array of questions for the next hour, most of which are simple enough for him to understand and respond too even if it takes him a second to think or act the word out, something you were sure he had done to help you understand more. He had a basic grasp on English and that was an amazing place to start, much easier than it would have been had he have known nothing.

You make a small list of things he had told you he finds useful in terms of studying, flash cards and bright colours being two of them.

It made you laugh just how similar your study patterns were, he was someone who likes organisation, a different colour for a different thing. You were the same.

You agreed to end the lesson, having all the information you needed for the day to construct a much better plan for the future.

He fiddles with his hands as you clean the room, his voice almost insecure when he asks. “So how did I do?”

You turned on your heel to face him, sending him a reassuring smile before telling him he had done well.

He waited at the door for you, holding it open.

Such a gentleman.

Due to the company being mid move renovations weren’t complete, tools had been left around in various locations so you had been keeping an eye out, you’d done so well throughout the day to not create any issues.

Until now at least.

By the time you noticed you had knocked the open pot of paint over it was already too late, the grey staining the expensive material on Hoseoks shoes.

Shoes you couldn’t even afford.

You scrambled around to grab a packet of wipes that had been left beside the door frame, pulling out more than necessary before you drop to your knees in a rush to try and salvage the footwear “Fuck I am so sorry, god I didn’t see.” Your hands are already scrubbing and scooping as much paint as possible, you weren’t sure if it was helping at all but you couldn’t give up. “Who leaves a pot of paint in the open, actually who leaves an open pot in the open. I’m so sorry, I-“ you pause for a second, humility befalling you as your head drops to face the floor, your hands resting in your lap, paint soaked clothes still clutched between them. “I can’t afford to replace these, I could pay you back out of my pay check every month until you have enough for a new pair. I’m so sorry.” You bargained with a pay check you weren’t even sure you’d still be receiving after this mess.

You felt your heart die inside of you when he began to speak. “They were expensive shoes, that’s all. Nothing worth stressing over. Besides I got them for free when we were at a photo shoot. Don’t worry about it. Besides you didn’t put the paint there, you aren’t responsible.”

Oh.

“I really can pay you from my pay check, I should have been more careful. It’s principle.” You look up, an action you regret instantly when you realise the compromising position you’re in.

You on your knees, in front of him, your face almost equal with his crotch. Great.

He extends a hand to you which you take, using him to pull yourself up.

“Let me take these.” He slips the soaked clothes from your hands before walking across the hall, throwing them in the trash.

You don’t know what else to do, wrecked with humiliation and guilt you give him a small bow whispering a meek. “Thank you.”

“Don’t be so formal with me, I said it’s okay. You, however, are not. Your shirt is covered I should have a spare one in my studio if you’d like it?” He offers, pointing down the hall at one of the doors decorated in bright colours.

You nod, you hadn’t even noticed the state you were in. “If it’s not too much of a bother that would be great, I can wash it and return it then next time I come.”

“That’s fine don’t rush.” He guides you down the hall, meeting in the code to his studio before stepping aside and letting you in.

You were unsure how but this room seemed to captivate the very being you had understood Hoseok to be in the limited time you had with him.

You looked around careful not to touch anything, if the shoes weren’t meaningful you were sure the kaws bears definitely were.

“Here.” He shouts, throwing the shirt in your direction.

You grab it before it can fall, it’s orange, bright orange. “You like bright colours?

“Is that even a question?” He retorts playfully, signalling a hand around his studio.

You laugh. “I guess not, thank you again and I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be, I’d let you ruin my shoes every day as long as you keep teaching me English. It really helped.” He says with a deepened sincerity.

It was nice to know you’d done something right, you still couldn’t beat the guilt and humiliation though. “I should probably get going, our class was supposed to finish thirty minuets ago. I’d hate to make you late for something.”

“You wouldn’t be a bother, I could show you the rest of the building if you’d like?” He offers.

You nod in agreement, it’s not like you had anything else to do. “Sure, that would be nice.”

“Let me just change my shoes and then I’ll show you where you can change your shirt.” He explains, heading towards a small shelving unit in the corner.

You shuffle awkwardly for a few seconds, with nothing to do it’s easy for your gaze to linger on him as he moves around. He slips his shoes off shoving them in a plastic bad before replacing them with some slippers.

He jumps up, landing softly on his feet. “All done, let’s go.”

You laugh, mumbling a thanks as he holds the door open for you. He guides you to the restrooms, where you promptly switch your shirt for his. You’re thankful there’s no cameras so the image of you smelling his shirt will never resurface, besides so what if you sniffed it, it smelt nice.

You didn’t rush per se but you did move quicker than you would have had Hoseok not been waiting.

It was rude to make others wait, nothing else.

You throw your ruined shirt in the trash before washing your hands, you didn’t look too bad considering you tossed and turned for half of the night.

You were greeted with a warm smile as you opened the door.. “Is Samgyeopsal really your favourite food?”

“Yes it is, my eomma makes it all the time.” You follow behind him a few steps, not wanting to get lost.

He holds a door open to you, leading to a staircase. “My eomma cooks a lot too, she always tells me to bring the members so they can put on weight.”

“Thank you, do you get to go home a lot?” You ask.

There’s a sullen look across his eyes as he shakes his head. “No, I try to but work is busy.”

“Forgive me if this is too forward, don’t answer it if it bothers you but what is it actually like to be an idol?”

He leads you upstairs, once again allowing you to go first. “It has its ups and downs, I enjoy it for the most part but when fans become too intrusive it can become hurtful. It makes it harder to have moments where it’s safe for me to see my family. That’s the downfall. Stress comes with every job, so does exhaustion not to mention overtime.”

“Tell me about it.” You scoff, remembering all the nights you’d been held back due to some internal issue.

He laughs, opening another door for you. “Bad experience?”

You cross through it quickly, this hall much different to the last. “My last job wasn’t great, a lot of things and people depended on me.”

“I hope it’s better here, I’ll try to be a good student. Scouts honour.” He holds up three fingers, a very American thing to do.

“You weren’t a scout.” You laugh.

He raised an eyebrow. “And how do you know?”

“I don’t know much about you behind the screen but I did once see a compilation of you screaming at bugs.” You admit, gouging him a pointed look.

He side eyes you. “You watch bts compilation videos?”

“My cousin does, she’s 9.” You explain, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

“I could sign something for her if you’d like?”

It was safe to say you were touched by the gesture. “Oh, no that’s okay. I couldn’t afford it and I wouldn’t want you to put yourself out.”

He laughs, pulling a pen from his pocket. “It’s my signature, not an appearance at a birthday party.”

“Unless you want to sign my hand…I don’t have anything for you to sign.”

“I do, come in here”. He tilts his head to the door behind you, his key card having full clearance to enter.

You didn’t know much about collecting Kpop albums, let alone BTS albums but you knew that the items in the room were worth a pretty penny. The walls had inbuilt shelves, albums, DVDs and other various merchandise all displayed on it. Multiple copies of each seemingly dating back to the day bangtan debuted.

“Wow.” You breathed, genuinely taken back.

He laughs, grabbing an album off the shelf before signing the front page. “It’s something the company did for us as a surprise when we changed buildings. There’s stuff in here I had no knowledge of even existing.” He hands you the album. “This is for your cousin. I left a little note inside.”

You take it slowly, afraid to somehow damage it. “She’s going to cry.”

“Adorable.” He chuckles. Pulling some things from the shelves. “Give her these too.”

“Thats too much.” You decline, eyeing the two DVDS and 3 BT21 plushies he shoves into a Hybe bag.

He shakes his head. “Nonsense, we get it all for free.”

“You really do want to see her cry don’t you?” You laugh, you truly meant that he had already given you so much.

You were slightly worried about everyone getting the wrong idea, you didn’t want anyone to think you were using him.

Before you could voice your objection once again he was already opening the door, bag in hand. “Let’s take all this back to my studio, there’s a few more things I think you’d enjoy.”

He’d already done so much, the least you could do was accompany him.

So you did.

You spent another hour exploring the Hybe building before he announced that he had in fact ordered food, insisting you eat with him.

The conversation between you both was easy, floating from one topic to another. The conversation never becoming too serious or invasive but personal enough for you to both understand each other a little better. He shared things about his time as a trainee as you did about studying abroad and your childhood.

By the time dinner was over it was already 6pm, 4 hours past the time you were supposed to wrap up the day.

Still he didn’t complain as he walked you to the private exit, waving to you as you were driven off.

It may have been a messy first day, but it was a first day you were sure you would remember forever.

[iohourtime]

Yamada Ryosuke: Side A - Expression

anan 2347

(Please let me know if there are any errors. Probably not my best work but I can't write properly lately.)

You can read the second part of the interview, "Side B - Change" here.

On May 9th, Yamada Ryosuke-san would celebrate his 30th birthday. To [make sure] the timing worked, the editorial department proposed to him: “Do you want to do a self-produced gravure [for us]?” while it was still [winter]. He replied with his acceptance really quickly and he first mentioned the phrases “expression” and “change” and some loose ideas of what he would like to do. We came up with the plan we have now starting with that conversation.

“I was fortunate to receive such a proposal for my 30th milestone birthday and I am very thankful for this. When I am thinking about what I want to show others about myself, “the form of an expressionist” comes to mind. In these times, only responding to what is demanded of us is no longer the correct attitude. Or should I say, aren’t we more free [to choose what we want to do]? When it is time to think about how to maximize [the expression] of “myself at this moment”, if I can work with a trusted team to do what I hoped to do, then I can become who I wanted to be.”

For the next part, the proposal for “Change” is to show the switch from “off” to “on”. Yamada-san is earnest towards work and is someone who is known for being professional. Therefore, we wanted to show him before he puts on his “work armour” and asked to shoot his bare face before applying makeup and costume.

“From my perspective, I’m wondering if people really want to see that? (laughs) Although it’s not unusual for people to see the natural [unprocessed] Yamada Ryosuke during the [process of] change, or rather, that is probably closer to who I am now.”

Singing, dancing , acting… of all the methods of expression, but a photoshoot is “what can express my current state.”

“Although I approach my work in the same way, whether it is video or print, I feel that my condition and state of mind on that day or time, whether good or bad, gets reflected in the work. Especially with photos, it is a snapshot of everything, right? It’s not enough to just have a great photographer, or just great outfits, or great make up, if these components do not work together, it is impossible to form a cohesive artwork. When all these components work, it feels good to participate in the shoot, yet more often than not, the components do not all come together. Sometimes it’s due to my or the staff’s mental or physical condition [on the day], and I am rather sensitive to such things. If it’s staff I’m familiar with, we can figure it out together, but it’s not a one-sided issue. However, with today’s photoshoot, everything fits very well, so it feels like no matter who and whatever we do, it’ll go well.”

For this part, Yamada-san suggested one keyword, “Pierrot”. [TN: It’s basically the clown archetype in pantomime.] The cover art expands on this image. Although he had worn pop-coloured outfits before, the style [this time], including the hair and makeup, was quite aggressive. It seemed like Yamada-san himself was also inspired by this and showed a lot of naughty expressions he rarely showed.

“Since I am going to do this anyway, isn’t it more fun to show [a side of me] that hasn't been shown before? As for the word “Pierrot”, I simply thought it’s an easy way to explain [the theme of expression], but… clowns can be laughed at, they can be cute at amusement parks, and if they are in a horror movie, they can be scary; there is a wide berth in [how they can appear], and I always find them as beings that are hard to understand. I also want to become a person who gives people different impressions depending on who sees me, as someone who can show a different face depending on where I am. That is my ideal. It would be nice if there were people who read the magazine and saw new possibilities in me, and I would also be happy if they simply thought I was cool. As an expressionist, it is necessary to continually show new faces. I want to keep exploring that.”

He is currently appearing as Nitta Togo in the drama, “Ousama ni Sasagu Kusuriyubi”. [Togo] is a scion who married a woman he doesn’t love in order to rebuild his struggling wedding hall business. This is his first shoujo manga adaptation.

“Hashimoto Kanna, who plays the lead role, and I can go back and forth at different tempos and it’s great working with her. I want you to see Kanna-chan’s brave visage properly. I thought I was past the age to appear in this type of romance drama, so please enjoy it. (Laughs)”

[To be continued in Side B: Change, which is probably the meat of the interview.]

[mortalprinceoflies]

Closed Starter | @runyou-clever-boy

They were being watched. He’d tried to ignore it, write it off as paranoia from this being their first family trip outside of the country. This wasn’t an installment in the ‘Taken’ franchise; surely, no one was lurking in the shadows, waiting to kidnap one of his girls. No matter what he told himself, however, Luke’s anxiety wouldn’t leave him, especially when he noticed how tense Delaney was. Riley was taking photos nonstop, and Morgan and Jayden were animatedly pointed out landmarks that they wanted to visit next, with the Tower of London being the most prevalent on the list at the moment. They were blissfully unaware that their parents’ heads were on swivels, scanning the crowded London streets for whomever might be following them.

Delaney spotted him first. “Pretty blond with the pouty lips,” she muttered, squeezing Luke’s hand. “He’s definitely tailing us. I saw him when we walked out of the Jack the Ripper Museum.”

“So he’s been on us for at least fifteen minutes,” Luke sighed, hating the fact that he’d been right. “Great…alright, keep moving with the girls. I’ll take care of this guy and catch up with you.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Luke…”

“I won’t! I’m just gonna have a polite chat with the guy, try to discourage him from pulling whatever bullshit he wants to pull. I think he knows he’s been made, though.” Luke had locked eyes with the mysterious young man by mistake, and now couldn’t stop looking at him for fear that he’d lose him in the crowd. This was just too weird. He gave Delaney a quick kiss on the cheek, pretending not to notice as she slipped one of her lucky charms into his pocket before leaving with the girls. It was her way of saying she was worried about him, and he honestly found it endearing.

Squaring his shoulders, he turned to confront his stalker, brown eyes turning steely and briefly flashing red. “Look, buddy, I know you probably thought I’d be an easy target because I’m some country bumpkin tourist, but you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree. I’m just tryin’ to have a nice vacation with my family. I don’t need you to ruin it with whatever scheme you’re plannin’ on pullin’. Stop followin’ us!” Hands balled into fists at his sides briefly before loosening again. He didn’t want this to turn into a fight, but if the other decided to get physical, he would gladly defend himself.

Little did he know that he had yet another pair of eyes on him. Vigoraunt had been haunting Luke and his family for far longer than this angelic menace; he had just been more subtle. Blending into the crowd was just as easy for the incubus here in England as it had been back in the States. Hells, he’d probably turned it into an art form at this point. The trick was to simply mind one’s own business while remaining in the general vicinity of one’s target, although being able to turn invisible certainly didn’t hurt. Truthfully, he hated being a spy, but restoring Lucifer to his infernal throne was more than worth it. A nosy fallen angel, however, could throw a massive wrench into that plan. Vig readied himself to intervene if necessary. This could get messy.

[daisynik7]

PLEASE BY ALL MEANS PROPOSE, I AM SO READY 👰🏻‍♀️ *ahem* i mean *cooly leans against the wall with a rose between my teef* hey cutie ;)

wait no, i can’t i’m a poser:( it’s pathetic. i’m kicking my feet, blushing so much rn, the dumbest giggles, this is crazy 🥲 thank you for YOUR kind words, having your support means the world to me and i hope you to be the same for you <3

but it truly is so beautiful, i’ve recently started to love seeing peoples different mediums of expression, whether it’s fanart, series/ film edits, and pics of course!!! i hope that this is something that continues to garner joy for you as a hobby, i surely love it, and i’m glad others love it. you articulate that creativity beautifully and i hope looking back at this page, you’re proud of what you made. 🥹 anime is relatively new for me too, and i feel like i’ve learnt more and appreciated the characters though fics than i do from watching the actual show @gege you are no longer the artist for jujutsu kaisen after what you’ve done, enjoy retirement bb 🥰 

and yes PLEASE let me talk about strawberry soju for a sec, first of all you said you based this off a song, i’m only finding results for one song by jesse barrera. A VIBE, we love that. second off, i just need to get it off my chest, i love foodie sasha! third, personally i know you for nanami wips n fics, but what you write for other characters, ART🤌🏼fourth, anything you write i will eat up. shamelessly. just know that :) also yes, kbbq was a special occasion meal for us so yes i get giddy over any reference of korean cuisine!

lastly, i’m so happy to hear that you were able to get out of the house and spend time with those core people, i’d like to take this moment to invite them to our wedding 🫶🏼

i’m not ready for the finale, i’m still not over the fact that they glazed over bertholdt’s death and reiner’s (lack of) reaction, like what? i’m also still considering do i need to continue jjk? probably not, i was just joking about actually being a masochist.🫣 

nonetheless; love you my sweet daisy, have a wonderful day/night! 🤍

don't worry, I'm already planning our wedding, honeymoon, and early retirement ;) we're going to be so happy together!! 😭♥️

I will be your biggest cheerleader, I promise you! I love seeing how people express themselves through art. I've always been an avid consumer of fan works (fanart, fan fiction, etc.). I agree that these fics have expanded on the characters much much more than what we're actually given LOL. As much as I appreciate the universe gege has created, these fics feed into my obsession even more and I'll always be grateful to every single writer/artist out there that is contributing to this fandom (and all fandoms in general).

hearing your thoughts on strawberry soju makes me so so happy!! thank you again for reading it ♥️ foodie Sasha is canon, I always imagine here with a hot potato in her pocket for snacking LOL. I have written a lot of Nanami content, but Eren also holds a special place in my heart.

also, we're going to have such bomb ass food at our wedding - filipino and korean cuisine, can it get any better than this?!

ahhhh okay I won't say anything to not spoil you, but I definitely have lots and lots of thoughts about it. can't wait to hear what you think. AND I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS (regarding continuing jjk). Not sure why I'm putting myself through this pain and misery anymore! it's too much!! but the story and characters are so captivating, idk if I can really drop it completely. we shall see...

I LOVE YOU THEA!! hope you're having a great start to your week so far! 💗💗💗

[redalabs-joshuathomas]

Update 42 19/08/23

Self Reflection

My main goal for this project was to get a good piece of art that was related to the specific field in my practice as well as to upskill myself to be able to market myself as a better artist. I set out the framework of the project in a way that would push me into newer landscapes that I was not familiar with and to strengthen the skills I already had or maybe to even improve upon them. 

Working as part of a team was not a problem for me, as I’ve been in a working environment, working with teams of more than 10 people. But this was the first time where we had creative control. We realised quickly the best way to work together was to target our specific fields and do the things we were strong at, so we divided the work accordingly. Communication was a key factor in making sure the ball kept rolling and we kept communicating our ideas constantly to make sure that we were on the same page. We were also able to know if either of us were lagging behind and if so how to go about keeping our project on track.

My specific field is environment art and like most art the best way to sell it is through a story, be it through visuals within the art piece or through an actual story. I decided to do both. Creating the artwork around the story would help make the artwork easier. Once the story was finalised, I took up parts of the work that I was not used to making or had very little experience while also making sure to take up parts I had significant experience in. I made sure to pick up a lot of sculpting as this was not something I had good experience in but wanted to sharpen said skill. I completed the sculpts of many rock formations and cave related assets, looking up hundreds of references and rock sculpting tutorials, by the end of it I was able to create a sculpting setup that I was comfortable with along with a strong sense of ability by no longer requiring a tutorial to complete siad process. 

For the parts that I did know to create, I still wanted to challenge myself. I knew how to create modular assets, but I wanted to go the extra mile and implement trimsheets, it is a very handy skill in an environment artist’s arsenal, I took a good long week making sure the sheet tiled and that all the details would be noticeable and spent a chunk of that week texturing and making sure everything fit and was realistic, only to realise I didn’t know what to do with the trimsheet and became very flustered and melancholic, as I spent a good amount of time on this making it look good only for me to be hit by a wall of confusion, I continued working on it so as to make the trimsheet a complete waste, but in the end I knew I had to let go of it as I was running out of time, I was very disappointed by this as trimsheets are one of the pillars in the environment artists building, without it, it was like having a chunk ripped out. Though not wanting to stop me I continued and created the assets as modular pieces and created another trimsheet this time with a better plan and with the idea already laid out in my mind. The second trimsheet was only for the floors and the ceilings of the roof, but due to my previous experience making a trimsheet I did it in 1/4th of the time, while keeping a higher quality. This was probably the biggest learning moment in the entire project for me, as I learned better time management and the ability to know when cutting things was a better option than going in headfirst and wondering why nothing was going right. I also was able to better understand trim sheets and now i’m more confident in going that route for my artwork than ever before.

VFX is something I’d only dabbled in a few times before and was something I wanted to add to my skill set, I took it upon myself to create all the effects required for the scene. Since it is a 2 man team, I did not want to over promise and under deliver, I thought of a reasonable output for someone with little to no experience in VFX and decided to take up just 5 effects. While working on these effects I was actually surprised as I was able to keep up with all the things that were being mentioned inside the tutorials I was viewing and was even able to create an effect inside niagara on my own.

Working as part of a team was not a problem for me, as I’ve been in a working environment, working with teams of more than 10 people. But this was the first time where we had creative control. We realised quickly the best way to work together was to target our specific fields and do the things we were strong at, so we divided the work accordingly. Communication was a key factor in making sure the ball kept rolling and we kept communicating our ideas constantly to make sure that we were on the same page. We were also able to know if either of us were lagging behind and if so how to go about keeping our project on track.

Overall this project has been the biggest learning experience in this academic year, I’ve not only utilised every single thing I learned in the year but I was no longer stumped by things I would have thought were hard before. I learned new skills, honed existing skills and better improved my soft skills such as time management and communication (as being in a team meant knowing how the project was moving and where to pick up and where to helpout). 

[justmoreocs-writing]

No matter how logical someone’s thoughts are, panic turns even the most prepared into a mess. Thoughts get scrambled, planning goes awry and primal fear takes over. Most people have things that set off this reaction and take active steps to avoid situations that might induce that level of terror. Unfortunately for me, my trigger kind of comes with the job.

‘Lilia,’ Mac said, drugged voice bordering on reasonable and snapping my spiralling thoughts away from the attempts to make sense of it all. Still, I tugged fruitlessly at the handcuffs as if it might suddenly change my situation.

My arms ached. While Mac was cuffed to a chair, IV taped into his arm, my arms were over my head. I could hear the long length of chain rattling like something out of a pirate movie. There wasn’t enough give to get to Mac, though. If I tried, I’d probably be a hair’s breadth away. Another little torture.

‘Breathe.’ Ewan’s soft voice, a memory of long attempts at learning escapology tricks, came to me. Right now, however, all his lessons evaporated. Fear, the fear of being caught, of being helpless, squashed any logical reasoning.

‘Lilia, it’s all right.’

‘How?’ I snapped, chest heaving as I focused on Mac. His head lolled back against the chair. Who knew what was being pumped into his system and there was nothing I could do about it. ‘How?’ I repeated, but this time my voice was little more than a desperate whine.

‘Because it’s us,’ he reasoned, voice almost normal. It was as if the drugs weren’t affecting him at all. As if everything was –

I shook my head, a sense of hopelessness bloomed inside my chest. My gaze drifted up to the chains holding me in place. Trapped. We were trapped and powerless and –

‘You’re shuffling cards,’ Mac said, pulling my gaze his way.

‘No, I’m not,’ I said, completely missing the point by the expression on his face.

‘Think about the sound,’ he continued. ‘The feeling.’

Forcing myself to swallow my panic, I tried to follow his lead. I imaged shuffling, the snickering sound of cardboard against cardboard. The constant rhythm that changed as I waterfalled the cards.

‘Dislocate or pick, your choice, Lil.’

‘Yeah, let’s go with picking you psycho.’

‘I need a clip,’ I said, trying to cling to the calm place, and the memories of Ewan. Escapology was his game, his attempts at bettering me in the dramatic arts of magic.

‘Your bun?’ questioned Mac, voice slightly dazed again.

I nodded, moved to stand on tiptoes. It was difficult, manoeuvring to get a clip, but not impossible. Once freed, it was a case of not fumbling, of getting the mechanism…

The cuff fell away and in an instant my arms were down. Every fibre of my being wanted to get rid of the metal from my wrists, the feeling of it there was making me sick, reminding me of the situation and threatening to bury me under the fear again. But Mac needed help, so I pushed the desire away.

Despite knowing he could do it, I unhooked the IV with one hand and picked with the other. It was stupid, but once both hands could work on the lock it was easier and he was freed in a couple of seconds.

‘Five minutes,’ came Patricia’s voice from over the intercom once Mac’s wrists were free.

I let out a sigh.

‘Pause,’ Mac said, voice alert and his attention on me. It was unlike him to break the character of the training. Concern pinched his brow, but by the little red light going off in the corner of the room, I knew Patricia had obliged. After all, today was about testing me, not putting him through his paces.

‘Are you all right?’

‘Sure,’ I said, trying to sound causal. I could hear the waver to my voice though, the fear that still clung to me. The longer we paused for, the longer the cold metal would bite into my wrist.

‘Lilia,’ he said, but I shook my head before he could go any further.

‘Honestly, I’ll survive. Can we finish?’

Mac surveyed me for a moment, probably trying to read the lie. He might’ve been good, but he’d not been taught about human psychology, about the nuances of people, by Patrick Jane. I had. I knew how to school my features into something of a determined mask, to push aside the fear for the moment now that it wasn’t completely all encompassing. I knew it was something I’d have to learn to manage eventually, but at the moment all I wanted was to be out of the training room.

After a second, he nodded and knocked on the wall. The light in the corner flared red again and he settled back into the mockery of being drugged.

Sometimes I hated these training sessions, but hopefully it would all be over soon. Just one more lock stood in our way, and then I could relax.

[sinner-as-saint]

I Am Your Fall.

Mob!Bucky x Ex-Spy!Reader

Run-through: You’re hiding from your past, in Madripoor. You did nothing wrong, other than mix dangerous business with a lot of pleasure. You couldn’t go home because... he would find you and Madripoor was the only place he didn’t do business, or had any allies or friends. But little did you know that the mob boss had finally found you after obsessively looking for you ever since you left, and left him in pieces. He didn’t want revenge, he just wanted the one thing he had hopelessly fallen in love with; who also happened to be the one who had betrayed him and hurt him more than anyone or any bullet ever did before - you. 

Themes: mob!bucky, smut, angst, fluff, Ex-Spy!Reader, slight daddy kink, guns

“The usual?” 

You nodded at the man in front of you with a faint smile as you took a seat at the bar. You kept the hood of your jacket up as you let out a quiet sigh. Moments later the bartender placed a glass half filled with whiskey and ice in front of you.

You whispered a ‘thank you’ and swirled the drink around in the glass before lifting it up to your lips and taking just the tiniest sip. You often came into this bar after work, just to feel normal again. You worked at a diner right around the corner; it was lowkey and shabby and didn’t attract many customers, neither did it pay well but you weren’t there for the money. 

Your last job, the one you had before ending up in Lowtown Madripoor, paid really well. So much so that you wouldn’t have to worry about money for a long, long time but you still had to blend in and pretend to be as normal as you could; hence the job at the diner. 

You thought of home as you took your second sip. You grew up in a nice family before joining the organization you worked for, as a spy. You let out a quiet little chuckle as you thought of how ever since you were a kid you wanted to grow up and catch bad guys. Which is exactly what you did as a spy. And you were great at your job, your organization couldn’t be prouder of your work. 

You took another sip. Everything was going great for you, until the day you were assigned to infiltrate the life of and take down the infamous mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. The day you heard that you were being sent to him, you were excited because James was notorious for a lot of bad things. You couldn’t wait to step inside his evil lair and take him down. What you didn’t know was that you would end up finding love right where it wasn’t supposed to be. 

You felt a strange knot in your gut as you thought of him. Bucky… 

Oh you had loved him despite his mean, dark demeanor. He was a cold-hearted man to the rest of the world, but only you got to see the warmer side of him. And you fell in love, harder, faster and deeper than you ever thought you could. It got to a point where you had to choose between either betraying your organization or betraying the man who shouldn’t have fallen in love with. That’s when you ran away, far from home. Far from your work which you loved so much, and far from him. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to betray him, nor did you have the courage to tell your people that you failed in an important mission all because you fell in love with the enemy. You knew what happened to people who betrayed Bucky, you had seen it. And you also knew what happened to spies and agents who betrayed the organization you worked for. Both of those situations weren’t ones you wished to find yourself in, so in order to save yourself, you ran. 

And now here you were. 

As you took another sip of your drink, you felt the hair at the back of your neck stand up out of nowhere as a shiver ran down your spine. You were being watched. During your training you were taught to absolutely trust your gut, and if you ever got the feeling that you were being watched it meant that there was a high chance that you actually were. 

Shit. 

You set your glass down and placed the money down beside it before slowly sliding off the stool and casually walking out of the bar. You made sure your hood was still up, and you tucked your hands in your pockets. Your fingertips gently felt the hand gun you always kept with you, just in case, secured at your waist under your jacket. 

You looked around, and so far no one was following you. The streets were busy given that it was a Friday night and you were sure that you could make it home safe because no one would attack you or anything in a crowd like this. 

You lived in a modest, 2-bedroom apartment. And you always took the fire escape at the back to get into your apartment because you didn’t trust the rusty elevator at the front, nor did you ever want to run into a neighbor or anyone by taking the stairs inside the building. The fire escape was discreet and lowkey. 

You entered your living room shortly and sensed that something was off. The air was colder somehow, and you never left any windows open. Ever. You shut the door behind you, not locking it. You gently took out your gun and held it out in front of you, at the ready. You moved stealthily, quietly. You knew which spots on the wooden flooring made the most noise so you avoided those. 

Someone was in here, you could tell. The air… it smelt different the further you walked into your apartment. You didn’t switch on any lights, you checked the kitchen first. Clear. The living room. Clear. The spare room. Clear. And your heart raced as you went into your bedroom. The door which normally always remained closed, was wide open. 

You couldn’t even run. Whatever it was, whoever it was you were gonna have to face it. You stepped into your room and with whatever little light was coming through the windows, you tried to scan the room. 

“Lower your gun, babygirl. You don’t need it. I’m not gonna hurt you, and I know you don’t wanna hurt me.” 

The sound of his voice had you frozen in the spot where you stood, a few feet away from your bed. The voice came from behind you. You slowly turned around, not lowering your gun and keeping it aimed right at him. It took you a few seconds to process everything. 

You could make out his silhouette as he stood in front of one of your bedroom windows. Tall, built, his metal arm glistening. He was here. You let out a shaky breath. He was here, he found you. 

You didn’t move from the spot that you were standing on. There was a time when whenever you saw him you’d run into his arms, and despite wanting to do just that even now, you knew you couldn’t. That was back then, this was different, wasn’t it? 

He sighed before moving, walking to the other side of the room to light a table lamp. The soft, golden light illuminated the room just enough. Your heart burned as you took in his appearance; dark suit as always, shorter hair, his metal arm just as intimidating and mean as always and his pretty blue eyes - the same ones you loved, belonging to a man who eventually became the reason why you had to leave your old life behind. 

Bucky was still; calm and composed as always. He was the kind of man who had mastered the art of looking completely steady even when he wasn’t. He could have a storm inside of him, or raging flames of anger but on the outside it would never show. He was as devious and subtle as a predator, moving with the grace and elegance of a ferocious but calculated animal. 

“You seriously thought that moving across the globe and changing your hair color would keep me away from you?” He sounded like he was mocking you. “Took me about almost a year, but I found you.” He walked towards you, making you envy the way he could move so effortlessly. You couldn’t read him. His face was… blank. Void of any emotion. 

He spoke again once he stood right in front of you. “Now, you’re gonna tell me why you ran away.” 

You remained quiet. He could tell you were thinking. He could always tell, he knew you too well. You made a makeshift plan in your head. If you were to shoot him in his arm, just to injure him enough to make him lose his focus, you could grab the emergency bag you always kept under your bed and run. But you didn’t want to hurt him. 

Also, how far would you go? Knowing Bucky, if he had made it to Madripoor he probably had his men surrounding this apartment building right now; all armed and ready to fight. He probably even had people from here all the way to Hightown; which meant that even if you ran from here right now you wouldn’t be able to make it out of Madripoor. 

Like you said earlier, he had found you. There was no way to run anymore. 

“I know you’re thinking about running again.” He teased, shoving his hands in his pockets, letting you know that he had his guard down; which meant that he had thought this through. “Maybe you have an emergency bag somewhere, or you plan on shooting at me to distract me and make a run for it.” He chuckled. “Trust me, you wouldn’t make it out of this apartment, babygirl. And even if by some miracle you did, I will burn this island to the ground to find you again.” 

Despite his tone being all calm, and almost monotonous you could hear the bitterness and the evil promise in his words. He was probably angry, he felt betrayed for sure, he was also frustrated given that he mentioned having searched for you for a year, he was also probably hungry for answers. 

You still remembered that night you left. Your people at work had been pestering you to hand over information and sending you all sorts of threats if you didn’t, but you also could no longer lie and manipulate Bucky, because you loved him. So you left in the middle of the night, leaving your old life, your job, the man you loved, your family, everything behind. 

No notes, no messages, nothing. You and him had been together for a little over a year at that point. And you just snuck out of a one year relationship with no explanation. It was wrong you’d admit, and Bucky had every right to be hurt and angry. 

“Answer me. Why did you run? Why did you leave out of nowhere? And didn’t you go back to your people like the good little spy you are? Why Madripoor?” 

So he knew about your past. You could only imagine what he did to the organization you used to work for when he found them. 

“How did you find me?” You knew how much he hated it when people answered a question with another question. You were surprised when he answered instead of being even more pissed off. 

“It took a lot of people, a lot of bullets and a lot of patience to track you down.” He chuckled. “I must say, you’re good at whatever games you play. But I’m gonna need you to stop for a moment, and give me the answers I need.” He took a small step forward, reducing the distance between you and him. “Why?” 

Such a broad question, why. 

“I had to.” You gave him the most vague answer ever. 

He scoffed. “Okay, let me make this easier for you. Let’s start with, what’s your real name?” 

You almost rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t afford to let your guard down at the moment. Not when you couldn’t even figure out what he was here for. 

“You know my name.” 

Of course he did, he had moaned it so many times in bed. 

He gave you his signature smirk, the one who captured the hearts of many including yours. “I’m assuming that since you’re a spy everything which comes out of your pretty mouth is a lie. So what is your name?” 

You corrected him. “I used to be a spy. I don’t do that anymore. And I didn’t lie about my name. I didn’t lie about many things.” You looked him dead in the eyes when you said so. You wondered if he thought that you lied when you said you loved him. That was real. 

He scoffed. “I’d beg to differ.” 

“You plan on killing me?” You asked, thinking that now would be a good time to know whether or not you would be dying tonight. 

“No.” 

“Then why are you here, Bucky? Why did you look for me for a year, why are you halfway across the globe right now if you don’t plan on killing me for betraying you? What do you want?” 

“You.” 

You rolled your eyes, finally lowering your weapon. You still couldn’t read him. 

He spoke up again, “Why didn’t you lead your people to me? Why didn’t you finish your job?” 

“You might have actually done just that yourself. If you were able to find me, so could they. They probably have eyes on right now. By coming here you just-,”

He cut you off. “They don’t have eyes on you. No one does.” He answered confidently. 

“You don’t know that. You-,” 

He cut you off yet again, he smirked, “Oh I do know, babygirl. I know because I… dealt with each and every last one of them. The people you used to work for, the whole organization, it doesn’t exist anymore I made sure of that. You see, I’ve been quite busy this past year. Between dealing with your people, dealing with my own and playing hide and seek with you.” 

You froze again. Dealt with? “And how exactly did you deal with the organization?” 

“I watched it burn.” He answered, proudly. 

Oh. “You plan on doing the same with me? After your little Q and A, you’re gonna just… deal with me?” 

He fake gasped and placed his metal hand over his chest as though surprised. “I would never do that to you. You see, unlike you I didn’t lie when I said I loved you.” 

That caught you by surprise. You said nothing, pretending like that confession didn’t make your heart race. 

“I’m gonna ask one more time, why did you run?” His tone was cold. 

You scoffed. “I didn’t think you’d be understanding regarding the whole situation. If you ever found out who I was, let’s be real, you’d kill me right where I stood. And I could no longer go back to my people because they would force me to lead them to you.” 

He raised his eyebrows, then chuckled. “You protected me? What for?” 

I didn’t lie when I said I loved you either. “I didn’t want to manipulate or lie. I didn’t want to infiltrate lives and be dishonest. I didn’t want to have to live a double life any longer. I needed freedom, I needed a way out. So I came here.” You paused. “I’m not proud of what I did to you.” You added. 

You lowered your eyes once you finished talking. Bucky moved closer to you, he reached out and grabbed your chin with his metal hand, tilting your head back gently until you looked into his stormy, ocean blue eyes. You hated how you still couldn’t read him. Was he angry or no? 

“Are you lying right now?” He whispered, and smirked knowing it would piss you off. You pushed his hand away. He chuckled, leaning into your ear, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke and it sent shivers down your spine, “Let’s play a game.” He pulled away and took a few steps back. “You love games, don’t you babygirl?” 

Your heart raced. Oh this can’t be good… 

He took some more steps back and then pulled out his gun; the shiny golden one he loved the most out of the arsenal he owned. He aimed it at you, smirking. “I’m gonna ask you some questions and as long as you answer truthfully, I won’t shoot.” 

You remained very still. You hated to admit it, but there was something so immorally powerful about him when he handled his guns. You remember back when you two were together, you could spend hours watching him clean his guns; his favorite toys he called them. Bucky always told you that he believed that weapons shouldn’t be intimidating, but the person handling them should. 

In his case, it was true. Just looking at him made your body throb for a moment. You tried not to let it show but judging by the smug look on his face you could tell that he knew exactly how you felt. 

You knew he would never shoot you.

Bucky Barnes was, afterall, a cunning man who knew how to toy with one’s head. He could have easily taken your gun away from you, could have tied you down on a chair and interrogated you until you gave in. But no, by doing this he was letting you think that you still had some control over this. He knew he had given you the chance, you could’ve easily shot him the moment you walked into the room. But you didn’t. You chose not to. And he knew that. 

You almost smirked when you put it all together. He wasn’t here for answers, because he already had them. He just wanted to hear it from you. He wanted you to verbally say it. He was here for this dark, twisted game of his. 

“Fine.” You agreed. 

He cocked his gun, the sound rang in your ears and it reminded you of the times you pretended not to know shit about guns and had him teach you how to aim. He had done so with a lot of patience and a lot of kisses. 

“How much did you tell your people about me?” He asked. 

You could tell he was easing into it. “I stopped feeding them information after the first six months. I told them it would be risky to keep meeting up with them in secrecy, and that I would soon come back with everything I can gather about you. But I never did.” 

He seemed pleased with that answer. “Of course you didn’t. Instead you ran away.” He watched you cautiously, “How many people know you’re here?” 

“No one does, except for you.” 

That was true. You couldn’t risk going back to your family, not when you were certain that the moment you stepped foot outside of Madripoor your people would find you. 

“Why Madripoor?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “You could’ve easily hid in the country itself given your… skills.” He knew just where to poke you to make it hurt. “Then why here?” 

“Anonymity. No one knows or cares about who you are or where you come from here. Also because I knew that neither the organization nor you had any connections here whatsoever.” You paused. “Clearly I was wrong.” 

He got really serious, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth then? If you couldn’t trust your people at the time, why not turn to me?” 

His question made you chuckle. “I already told you, you would’ve killed me.” 

“And I already told you that I-,” he cut himself off and took a breath. “Why didn’t you trust me?” 

You stared into his eyes, looking. Searching for something you once saw in them. Love, for you. There was a time when he would look at you with nothing but adoration and love. Now he was angry, hurt, frustrated, his power challenged. 

“Because I’ve seen what you do to people who betray you. I knew how much loyalty mattered to you. And I… I couldn’t have possibly looked you in the eyes and tell you that I’ve been lying and manipulating you for a whole year, and that I was sent to take you down.” 

It hurt to say it out loud. 

“You ran because you were scared of me? Of what I would do to you if I found out?” He didn’t bother hiding the hurt. He wasn’t calm and composed anymore, he was visibly troubled. Jaws clenched, fingers tightening around his gun, eyes shooting daggers at you. “Answer me!” He raised his voice out of nowhere and you jumped. 

You lowered your gaze to the floor. In all those years, be it during training or even while on missions, you had never succumbed in any way when a weapon, no matter the size, was aimed at you. Yet now, you could feel your hands starting to shake just a little. 

“Yes. I ran because I was scared of you.” You answered, not having the courage to look up at him. 

He was quiet for four seconds - you know because you counted them - before he lowered his gun and shot at the wooden floor, several feet away from your legs. The sound made you flinch and groan, not in fear but in annoyance. He was breaking you, he was getting everything he wanted out of you. You were giving in, too easily. You hated it. 

“Liar!” He growled and walked right over to you, quickly. His eyes reflected the anger and frustration he felt inside. He placed the barrel of his gun right under your chin. The cold metal made you shiver, mainly because you still remembered that his metal arm felt the same way against your warm skin. “I said no lies.” 

He used the gun to tilt your head back, making you look up into his eyes. He spoke up again, “You ran because you love me, and you couldn’t live with yourself after betraying me. You chose not to lead your people to me, because how could you? How could you do that when you fell in love with the enemy?” Bucky chuckled, removing his gun from your chin and replacing it with his metal hand. 

He leaned in so close that when he spoke next, his lips brushed against yours. “You chose to run away rather than give them what they wanted, because they wanted my fall. You ran from me because you couldn’t admit, nor accept that you cared too much about me.” He chuckled. “You did all of this not because you were scared of me, but because you were scared of them since you had failed in a mission.” He shrugged. “That’s understandable, given you fell in love with the one they sent you to ruin.” 

Your eyes watered. He broke you, finally. He said everything you’ve been avoiding to tell yourself over this past year. And he was right about everything. You were quiet. You didn’t have anything to say to him. 

He spoke up again. “I know for a fact that you knew I would never, ever hurt you. Betrayal or no betrayal.” 

“Buck…” You whispered, your voice cracked as you held back a sob. You felt a single tear slide down your cheek. 

His hand moved from your chin, down to your waist. He pulled you closer, pressing his body to yours. The feeling of his built, taut body against yours brought back memories you weren’t sure you could ever forget. 

“Say it.” He demanded, looking down at your lips, then back into your eyes. His scent filled your senses. He was all you could, and wanted, to focus on. “Tell me I’m right. Tell me the truth you’ve been running from.” He leaned in, as though he was going for a kiss. “Tell me you love me.”

“Bucky, I…” you almost choked on another sob you couldn’t let out. You wanted to tell that you loved him. But the words wouldn’t come out. Something was stopping you; worry or fear or just guilt. 

It was guilt. 

He scoffed. “Too proud? Too self-righteous to admit that the good little spy fell in love with the bad guy?” He pressed his forehead to yours as he walked the two of you back, towards your bed. You knew what he was doing, and you didn’t stop him. “Admit it, babygirl,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear and you felt goosebumps all over your body, “Or maybe I should remind you…” 

Bucky pushed you down on your bed, and he hovered over you supporting himself with one hand while the metal one held his gun right above your face. “You’ve been a bad, bad girl lately.” He murmured, gently lowering his gun and brushing the barrel against your lips, then slowly dragged it down your skin. “Did you think you could hide from me forever?” 

He dragged the tip of his gun all the way down till your thighs, making you tremble. His eyes stared down into yours as he carelessly tossed his gun aside and brought his metal hand over to your mouth again. 

“Do you know how bad I’ve missed you?” He mumbled, tracing your mouth with his cold fingers. For a moment he forgot why he was here in the first place. 

You shivered under his touch. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I never meant to-,” 

He scoffed, cutting you off. “Shut up, babygirl.” He had a mean smirk on his face. “You’ve been bad. And what did daddy tell you about babygirls who misbehave?” His calm demeanor could fool anyone. Anyone but you. 

You knew him too well. You could tell he was burning inside, agitated. Like a wounded predator, planning his next attack. There was no escaping him now. Not that you truly wanted to. 

“They get punished.” You whispered quietly as he tugged on your bottom lip with his thumb. The simple gesture reminded you of all those times spent with him; the nights you spent in his bed, in his arms… 

He chuckled. “Exactly. Now come on, you have a lot to make up for.” He pulled away, and stood up straight at the end of your bed. “Take your clothes off. All of it.” 

The sound of his authoritative voice had your thighs clenching together to try and alleviate the sweet pain in between your legs. That tone of his was a weakness of yours, and he knew it. 

You hesitated only for a moment, but the longer he stared into your eyes the warmer your body felt, and all you wanted to do was to get rid of all that you were wearing. You took your jacket off first, followed by the long sleeved shirt underneath it. You scooted forward, sitting on the edge of the bed to take the rest of your clothes off; shoes, skirt, stockings which left you in your matching set of black underwear. 

You looked up at him, waiting for further instructions. 

“I said, all of it.” He let his eyes roam your body for a moment and then he spoke up again, “Don’t be shy baby, I’ve seen it all before, haven’t I?” 

He had done so much more than just seeing it all. You held his stare as you took your underwear off and had to fight the urge to throw it at his face just for the hell of it. 

“Good girl.” He whispered. “Now lie down, spread those legs for me. Show me what’s mine.” 

The crudeness of his words would’ve surely made you blush if you didn’t know just how vulgar and dirty he could really get, this was nothing. 

You did just as he asked. You held yourself up on your elbows, still holding his stare. Bucky eyed you like you were a warm meal and he was a starving man. There was nothing but lust and mischief in his eyes. 

“Touch yourself for me.” 

You felt your face get really hot for a moment as your heartbeats rang in your ears. “What?” The question just slipped out before you could stop yourself. 

Bucky smirked. “You heard me. Use your pretty fingers and touch yourself. I assume you thought of me each time you… tended to your needs over these past many, many months. I’m sure you missed me,” he chuckled, just as cocky as you expected him to be, “Or at least you missed having my cock buried deep inside of you. Hmm?”  

You studied his face for a moment. Your emotions were shifting; from guilt to annoyance to shame to lust. And you hated how well he had you figured out. “How do you know I haven’t had someone else tending to my needs instead?” You asked, quickly realizing that this wasn’t an ideal situation to be the brat you used to be back then. 

Bucky let out a little laugh; a hot and evil laugh. “No one will ever satisfy you like I do.” He shoved both of his hands in his pockets. “Even if you did, for some reason, fool around with someone here I assure you they won't be breathing for long.” He responded with a straight face. “You are mine. Nobody touches what’s mine and lives.” 

That speech shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did. 

“Now come on, be a good girl and do as you’re told.” He spoke softly. “Show me how you touched yourself when I wasn’t here to take care of you.” 

Your hands moved on their own; caressing your inner thighs before placing your fingers right over your clit. The look in his eyes made your walls clench around nothing. Your lips parted and you let out a shaky breath as you toyed with your clit, smearing your wetness around before slowly rubbing down your folds and slipping past your entrance with ease given that you were dripping already. Your other hand toyed with your nipple, twisting and tugging. 

Needless to say, Bucky was hard just looking at you. 

You stared into his eyes as you gasped in pleasure as your fingers effortlessly slipped in and out of you. You whined as you fingered yourself, thinking about the last time he touched you – all those months back, on the same night that you left him. And how lovely his mouth felt against your body. Whining in need and frustration, the palm of your hands rubbed against your sensitive clit over and over again as your middle finger slipped in and out of you. 

“Bucky…” you whimpered. 

He just stood there and smirked. “Faster. And don’t you dare cum.” 

You whined, slipping your finger in and out of your wet hole rapidly. “Fuck…” Your own touch took you higher, and higher, and you were on the edge. 

“Stop.” He ordered, moving closer to you but not touching you yet. “Add another finger.” He waited until you did, whimpering as you pushed another finger in. “Good girl, now fuck your little cunt faster for me.” He leaned over and traced your lips with his cold, metal finger, his touch was agonizingly slow. He was so close, but he still wasn’t touching you like you desperately needed him to. 

You took your bottom lip in between your teeth to keep yourself from moaning too loudly. Bucky smirked when he saw how you were struggling to keep quiet. He noticed the way your body squirmed, and he knew you too well so he could tell that you were so close to coming undone. 

“Poor baby,” he cooed, “Is it hard?” he taunted, his fake concern morphing into an evil, handsome and sly smile. “Is it frustrating to not be allowed to have something you so desperately want? Hmm?” 

“Buck… please,” you whined, releasing your swollen lip from your teeth. Your body felt hot, and you needed to just let go and come undone. 

“Stop.” He ordered, shamelessly ignoring your pleas. You stopped, and pulled your hand away from in between your legs. He knelt on your bed, in between your legs. You tried to look away but he grabbed your chin before you could turn your face to the side. He stared into your eyes for a few seconds, not saying anything. Eventually he spoke up, “What do I do with you?” 

You stared at him, a thousand thoughts in your head. “You’re crazy.” You spat, hoping to rile him up. 

He just chuckled softly. “You did this to me.” He sounded bitter, and hurt. He leaned in to brush his lips against yours, making your heart race, “Thoughts of you were messing with my head for the past year.” He confessed, and you felt your heart hurt. “People think I’m cruel, clearly they haven’t had their heart broken by you.” 

You opened your mouth to say something, or maybe apologize, or perhaps you’d say something which would piss him off even more but before you could, his mouth was on yours. He kissed you with passion, but also pent up anger and frustration. He was conflicted, so were you. Both of your pride were hurt, egos bruised but your hearts still yearned for each other. Nothing could change that. 

Before you could process anything, Bucky was kissing down your body; you were a whimpering mess by the time he kissed along your inner thighs. He chuckled darkly when you let out a loud moan as he kissed your throbbing clit ever so gently. Like he used to when he was madly in love with you. 

“Your body remembers me, babygirl.” He seemed proud of that. 

You hated how you couldn’t resist him. You hated how you didn’t even try to. You melted right under his touch as his tongue gently licked down your folds. His hand found yours and he laced his metal fingers with yours while his other hand rubbed up and down your thigh as he pushed his face further into your wet core. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look down at him, but you were sure he looked enticing with his plump, pink lips on your wet heat; your arousal dripping down his chin and coating his lips as he devoured you. You heard him growl before he bit down on the soft skin at your inner thighs to get your attention. 

“Look at me.” He mumbled. And when you didn’t obey him right away, you earned yourself a gentle smack on your thigh, which only made you squirm even more; causing you to accidentally grind against his mouth. He chuckled again. “Impatient, are we?” 

You supported yourself up on your elbows finally, and looked down at him. His handsome face in between your thighs was a sight you weren’t sure you would ever get used to. You could feel his warm breath fanning your wet skin occasionally as he stared into your eyes until you couldn’t handle the intensity of his stare. 

Bucky held your stare as he attached his lips to your core again, making you whimper in pleasure. He wasn’t planning on stopping until you beg him to. He had missed you, your taste. He had missed this; your warmth and your soft whimpers as he teased you with his tongue. 

“Do you wanna cum for me, babygirl?” He asked, before pressing his lips back against your wet folds. 

You nodded, quickly. “Yes, please…” your legs had begun shaking just a little as he took his time and dragged his tongue up and down your slit. But the way his lips lifted into a smirk gave away that his answer would only disappoint you. 

“No, you’re not allowed to cum.” He cooed, playfully. “Not so easily.” He whispered before he got back to teasing your sensitive spot with his warm and wet tongue; relishing your taste and humming in pleasure as he ate you out. He let out a little laugh, “I forgot how good you taste.” 

You moaned out loud as your back arched off the bed for just a moment, your eyes closing and your head leaning back as you felt a wave of intense pleasure wash over you. You weren’t sure how long you could take this sweet torture. Your fingers tightened around his and he chuckled against your skin. 

“What is it baby, you can’t take it? Hmm? All that sass, all those mind games and now you can’t even handle my tongue?” 

He taunted you before getting back to teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue. Your body tingled and you felt a sweet pressure forming in between your legs. You were sure he could see the tears of frustration escaping your eyes, falling down your warm cheeks. 

“Please…” you moaned pathetically. 

He licked around your clit one last time before pulling away and kissing his way up your body again. The twisted side of him loved the way you whined when you realized he wasn’t gonna let you cum so easily. He leaned in to kiss your open mouth eventually, making you gasp and moan and forget how to breathe with just one kiss. 

When he pulled away to look at you he smiled at the mess you were. Lips swollen, and bruised with how many times you or him bit down on it. Red marks all over your neck, bite marks along your inner thigh, and your arousal dripping out of you. He quickly placed his fingers where his mouth had been earlier, teasing your clit before shoving two fingers inside of you and stroking your walls so slowly that you were losing your mind. 

“Why won’t you admit it?” he kissed along your cheek and reached your ear where he whispered, “Are you that proud? That heartless?” Judging by his tone you could tell that his emotions were wavering as well. “I searched the whole world to find you.” His fingers sped up as he spoke, your moans got more frequent and holding them back became much more difficult. “And now you’re still gonna be a stubborn, disrespectful brat?” 

The bitterness in his tone woke something inside of you. Did he not realize that you’re not exactly pleased with what you had to do? Did he not understand? Pissed, your annoyance mirroring his, you pushed his hand away and pushed him down on the bed. He wasn’t expecting it so he went down rather easily. You got on top of him, straddling his waist, ignoring the nudity, and stared down at him. 

“Enough! You can’t just walk in here and do or say whatever the fuck you want.” Your sudden outburst took him by surprise. Part of him had always loved it when you got a little aggressive. “I’m not proud of what I did. That’s why I left, the guilt was killing me. It still kills me, every single day. I haven’t had the best year of my life since I left you either. I had to leave my homeland, my family, and I… I had to leave you.” 

He remained quiet. 

“I moved to a place where I knew no one. I’ve been alone for the past year, living amongst strangers, no friends, no family, nothing! All because I couldn’t let them get to me. You were right, because if my people found me they would somehow find a way to get the information they needed and they would’ve surely taken you down. You would’ve never seen it coming.” You sniffled, realizing that you were tearing up again. 

Bucky had, surprisingly, nothing to say. You went on. 

“You want answers? There you have it then. I couldn’t just stay and watch myself become that reason for your fall. I couldn’t let that happen to you, because I love you too much. When I realized I loved you, I panicked. I ran because I didn’t know what else to do, or how to keep them away from you. And I am so sorry for what I did. I understand if you-,”

He cut your long speech off by sitting up and grabbing you just in time before you lost your balance, pressing his lips to yours. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and let him hold you, kiss you like he wanted to for so long. His kiss was gentle this time, careful, loving. His metal hand ran up and down your spine slowly as his other hand grabbed you and pulled you close to him by your butt.  

He slowly pulled away and his heart felt like it tore in half at the sight of your teary face. He had been so busy being heartbroken after you left that he didn’t even take a minute to consider this perspective. He was too hurt to even think properly. 

“You could’ve just told me the truth. I would’ve handled them. I would’ve done anything for you, I… I would’ve done whatever it took to keep you safe. You know that, right?” Bucky finally spoke up, sounding much more emotional than he thought he ever could. 

Truth is, before meeting you he always thought that he was incapable of love. But then you walked into his life and everything changed for the better. So when he lost you, without any explanation, he went insane. 

You sighed. “I was scared. I didn’t understand, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was hurting too. You think disappearing out of your life and leaving you behind without saying a proper goodbye was easy?” Your voice cracked as you fought back a sob. “How many times do I have to-,” 

He cut you off. Once he saw the tears accumulating along your water line again. “Okay, okay shh. I just got you back, I don’t wanna fight.” He mumbled, pressing his forehead to yours. 

You sniffled, your heart skipping a beat as his body heat wrapped around you. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I missed you so much. I couldn’t risk reaching out to you to even apologize, I was so scared. I… I didn’t…,” your sentence ended in a whisper, you didn’t know how to articulate your thoughts too well. 

He tightened his arms around you. “It’s okay, baby. Everything is fine now, I found you.” 

You were quiet for a while, enjoying his calming touch and processing all that happened since you stepped inside your apartment tonight. “Are you mad at me?” you asked, seeking to find some sort of sense in all that just happened. 

He sighed, and kissed your forehead. “I was. When I woke up the next morning after you left, I was confused, hurt. Then you didn’t show up for a couple more days and I had my people look you up, and I was told that you were a spy.” His words made you feel uneasy and ashamed of your past. “I was broken, but I never knew what a heartbreak feels like so instead all I felt was anger. But despite all of it, all I wanted was to have you back. Then I found the organization you worked for, and I made sure to destroy it. Since then I’ve been looking for you like a madman.” 

He pulled away to look at you. You managed to look up into his eyes without tearing up again. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. 

He pulled you closer. “I’m sorry too.” 

“I love you.” 

Bucky smiled at you. “Say it again.” 

You reached up and cupped his face in your hands. “I love you. I love you so much and I’m sorry. For everything. I just… I just want you back, please.” 

He leaned in for a kiss, whispering against your lips, “I’m right here, babygirl.” He gently turned to the side and laid you back down on the bed. “I’ve got you now,” he mumbled, pulling away to take his suit jacket off, then his shirt. He tossed both somewhere on the floor and bent down to kiss you again. He kissed down your neck, leisurely; taking his time on you as he unzipped his pants. 

“Buck…” you groaned as he teased you with the soft, feathery touch of his lips. He had been teasing you for so long now, you couldn’t take anymore. Your body felt burning hot again, you needed him. Bad. You needed him like you needed air. 

“Yes, baby?” He asked, kissing down your cleavage; pretending he doesn’t know that you were practically shaking in need. 

You whined, sliding your finger into his dark, soft hair. “I need you. Please, I need you. Now.” You spoke through gritted teeth by the end, tugging at the roots of his hair. 

He chuckled. “So aggressive.” He murmured, kissing up your neck until he reached your mouth. He noticed the way you had unintentionally, gradually parted your legs to accommodate him; your naked body squirming under him, your bare chest pressing up against his, your body heat mixing with his. “I’m gonna take care of you, baby…” he whispered as he lowered his underwear just enough to free his cock. He was rock hard.

You were a whimpering mess by the time he aligned his erected cock to your entrance. You instinctively spread your legs further apart to give him more room. With a slow, steady push, he inserted his length into you. You shuddered, moaning as you felt all of him filling you up. You heard his ragged breaths as he seated himself completely inside you and waited, giving your body time to adjust to him. 

He could still make you tremble in pleasure just like the first time he touched you. Bucky held back his moans and growls as he felt your warmth wrap around him so perfectly. He clenched his jaw as he relished the feeling of being inside of you, finally. 

“Is this what you needed, babygirl?” he asked, looking down at you, and gently grabbing your face, causing you to look up at him. 

You couldn’t talk given how full you were. You just stared at him with parted lips, breathing heavily. Bucky smirked, pulling out just a little before pushing back into you again. You closed your eyes and moaned, arching your back off the surface of the bed again. 

He smirked as he looked down at you. “You waited, didn’t you? You waited only for daddy to stretch you out like this. I know you didn’t let anyone touch you while I wasn’t here.” He remained still as he leaned into your ear, whispering, “The way you’re clenching around my cock right now gives it away.” He chuckled, proud. 

Your face burned. He knew you too well. 

Bucky leaned in to kiss your open mouth, shamelessly shoving his tongue past your parted lips and stroking the inside of your mouth while he began moving in and out of you. He sped up gradually, rocking his hips against yours; his hand reached up to grab your chin gently. He stared into your eyes, speeding up into you again. You gripped the bed sheets as he pounded into you. 

He stretched you out deliciously, perfectly. Filling you up and reaching all the right places as he went. He couldn’t hold back any longer, so he moaned and growled right against your mouth, clenching his jaw or occasionally biting down on your lip as he pounded into you relentlessly. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He spoke as he sped up into you again. You could whine senselessly, overwhelmed by how good he felt deep inside you. 

He leaned down to push his face into your neck as he lifted one of your legs and hooked it to his waist, pushing himself deeper inside you. “Fuck…” he moaned as you clenched hard around him. He down for a moment just to hear you moan wantonly before he sped up again, fucking you relentlessly. “You’re mine. Only mine, you hear me?” 

You nodded, or at least tried to.  

The louder you got, the closer he felt his release coming and the filthier his mouth got. “Your little cunt is mine. Only mine.” He spoke through messy kisses; growling and causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. “Only I can fuck you like this, you hear me?” Bucky quickened his pace and pounded into you harder than before; the sounds of your skin slapping one another resonated around the modest room. 

Bucky was all you could focus on. The sound of his voice. His body pressing down on yours. His cock inside you. Your walls began to clench tighter around him. His moans, his hot breath against your cheek, his messy kisses. Just him. You had missed him so terribly, and only now did you wonder how in the world did you survive so long without him? 

He took you higher, and higher, and higher until you felt more tears escape your eyes. “Please, Buck…” you whined, begging pathetically and unable to arrange your words or your thoughts any better. “Please…” 

Your eyes were droopy in lust. His eyes were too as he stared down at you with a handsome and arrogant smirk on his face. “Please what, babygirl?” 

His pretty blue eyes put you under a trance. “Please, can I cum?” 

Bucky caressed your cheek with his knuckles, his metal hand holding him up above you. He didn’t know how he managed to survive without you all these months. He was barely living without you. He looked down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. 

“Go on, baby. Cum for me.” 

You let the pressure build inside you, before simply letting go. He didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, Bucky kept pounding into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out loud as you came. You whimpered at how he kept slamming into you even as you came, and your face burned as you felt a familiar knot forming again right at your core.

He fucked into you relentlessly. “Fuck…” He panted and groaned at how good you felt around him; wet and warm all for him. Your walls clenched around him violently and your body arched off the bed. 

You felt your second release approaching even before you could recover from the first one. Your leg around his waist was numb but you still wanted more of what he had to give. You would take whatever he gave you in that moment, given you had gone so long without him. 

You felt your mind getting foggy again. His large frame hovering above you as he fucked deeper into you, just a little more. “Cum for me again, baby.” He growled, his lips dangerously close to yours as you whined and whimpered under him. Your body trembled as you came for the second time, walls tightening around his length, gushing out around his cock while he still pounded relentlessly into you until he came as well.

You felt his thrust getting sloppy and irregular until he came to a stop and just groaned as he came violently. His warm cum filled you up and some of it trickled out of you when he carefully removed his cock from your entrance.

He collapsed on the bed beside you, catching his breath before pulling you into him. You were slightly shaking as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your skin wherever he could, murmuring sweet nothings. 

“You okay, babe?” he asked after a few minutes of just holding you in his arms, in silence; both of you just enjoying each other’s warmth and presence. 

You nodded, placing your arm over his chest and scooting closer to him, pressing up against his side. 

You both remained quiet for a while longer. Thinking about the past, and the future. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” You asked, your brain starting to overthink again. 

Bucky sighed. “Baby I couldn’t stay mad at you even if you intentionally stabbed me through the heart and watched me bleed to death.” 

You took a second to process what he just spoke of, and you made a face at him, showing your horror and concern, which then made him laugh out loud. “You’re sick.” You muttered, placing a gentle kiss to his metal arm. The cold metal against your lips reminded of somewhere you desperately wanted to be - home. 

He shrugged, pulling you closer. “Yeah. Also cruel, devious and pure evil. But you love me nonetheless.” He teased. 

You smiled, your worn out body snuggled up against him. You felt your eyelids drooping as sleep slowly took over you. Today has been a lot. “I do.” You spoke softly. 

Bucky looked down and saw that you were slowly drifting off to sleep. He adjusted the covers so that you were well covered with the warm blankets. He tucked you in and wrapped his arms around you protectively, as though you might slip away from his grasp again. 

“I love you, babygirl. Sleep tight, we’re going home soon.” 

You didn’t respond so he figured you must have fallen asleep. While he hugged your sleeping figure, he thought back on everything you said tonight. Your biggest fear was that you might end up being the reason for his fall. But little did you know that ultimately, you had been the only reason he knew what truly falling in love was like.

[flowercrown-bard]

Oh, what’s in a name?

summary: Geralt accidentally calls Jaskier by the wrong name and Jaskier finds out that maybe that's a compliment

pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

word count: 3k

AO3

warnings: none

„Can you hand me the whetstone, Roach?”

Jaskier, already mid-motion to turn and ready to do what Geralt had asked him to, froze. Slowly, and with the biggest grin he could fit on his lips, he turned back to face Geralt again.

“What did you just say?” He could barely contain the laughter in his voice. Raising an eyebrow, he exchanged a look with Roach – well, he tried to exchange a look with Roach, but as usual, she didn’t cooperate – and let out a tiny snort.

Geralt’s brows furrowed in confusion and he gave a small grunt, before saying, “The whetstone.”

Jaskier blinked, his mouth already half-open to tease Geralt about growing old enough to forget the name of his dearest travel companion, but then he stopped himself. He squinted at Geralt, trying to find any hint on his face that he had even realised that he had called Jaskier by the wrong name, but he found none.

For a moment, he contemplated being offended by being mistaken with a horse, but then Roach trotted over to Geralt and nibbled at his hair, making the witcher look up with the softest smile as he petted her neck.

The sight of Geralt so relaxed and free with his smile, made something warm and fuzzy grow in Jaskier’s chest.

He decided not to say anything. At least for now.

--

Jaskier’s plans to tease Geralt about the name-thing later failed spectacularly. Not because Jaskier didn’t dare tease Geralt, of course, but because all of his attempts to subtly tease him didn’t work, and Jaskier was too proud of his finesse with words to take a more direct approach to his teasing.

He tried singing songs in which he exchanged Geralt’s name or moniker with something else, which only earned him an amused hum.

“Is calling me the White Wolf not enough anymore?” Geralt asked when Jaskier had finished his little ditty. “I thought you needed one moniker for me for memorability.”

Jaskier huffed and nearly opened his mouth to tell Geralt plainly why he had gone with the wrong moniker, but then he blinked.

“You listened to me while I told you about that?”

Geralt shrugged and turned to tend to Roach. Jaskier was nearly fully convinced that he only did it to have an excuse to avoid eye-contact.

“It’s nice talking to someone who talks back.”

Jaskier snorted. “My friend, I’d say out of the two of us, I’m the one who’s doing most of the talking.”

Geralt didn’t reply, proving Jaskier’s point.

--

Oh, but Jaskier had been wrong. He didn’t realise just how wrong he had been about Geralt’s penchant for taciturnity, until they had to spend more than a couple of days in town.

Had Jaskier thought Geralt didn’t like talking all that much before, he was now fully taken aback by just how little Geralt actually said. Jaskier would have thought that a town with many people – most of which were even somewhat friendly towards Geralt – would get Geralt to relax, but it only served to make him clam up and become more quiet.

That is, he was quiet, save for when he talked to Jaskier.

In comparison to how he treated everyone else, he was downright chatty with him.

After that discovery, Jaskier made a point of talking more about things that Geralt seemed to like talking about. He let him explain the importance of cleaning his swords so often, lest they rust from his touch. He let him talk for hours on end about how to take care of horses. Once Jaskier got him to open up about his family, Geralt almost didn’t stop talking about his brothers, recounting how he and Eskel had once caught a giant bumblebee or reminiscing about how Lambert had tried to set fire to the instructors’ beds when he had been a trainee.

Watching Geralt talk like that was an experience. Every word that he entrusted with Jaskier made his heart flutter and every small smile Geralt gave him as he talked, took his breath away.

“I think you’d really like them, Roach,” Geralt said to conclude his story about his brothers.

Jaskier’s lips twitched upwards, but just like the first time it had happened, Geralt didn’t seem to realise what he had just said.

Jaskier’s grin turned into a soft smile and he leaned a little against Geralt, letting their shoulders touch gently.

“If they are anything like you, I’m sure I’ll like them.”

--

A couple of weeks later, Jaskier had to admit to himself that he had been wrong once again. He really needed to be careful not to make being wrong into a habit. He had always prided himself in being intelligent – after all, he was a master of the seven liberal arts and years ago, he had made the most intelligent decision of befriending one Geralt of Rivia – and being wrong about things just wasn’t something he liked doing.

But when it came to Geralt, there were always new things to learn, new facets of him to discover. And that wasn’t something Jaskier minded. In fact, every time he learned something new about Geralt – every time Geralt trusted him with new information about himself – Jaskier’s chest felt like it was expanding with that happy little flutter inside.

It was enlightening to learn that Geralt rarely ever cooked with spices, not because they were too expensive, but because his senses were sharp enough to not need much of them.

It was interesting to find out that Geralt liked making up the witcher-code on the spot, whenever someone asked him to do something that he didn’t want to do.

It was endearing finding out that Geralt had named all of his horses Roach.

But it was utterly shocking, when after weeks of having gone their separate ways, Jaskier finally tracked down Geralt to find him talking to Roach.

He froze to his spot and listened enraptured as Geralt spoke to his horse as others did to their friends. As Geralt did to Jaskier.

No. No, that wasn’t it at all. Geralt wasn’t speaking to Roach as he did to Jaskier.

He spoke to Jaskier as he did to Roach.

Jaskier’s eyes went wide at the realisation. How long had Geralt been alone before Jaskier had attached himself to his side, with only Roach as company?

Jaskier thought back to all the times Geralt had looked insecure when speaking with Jaskier when they had first started travelling together, as if he didn’t know how to talk to people. As if he didn’t have much experience doing so outside of negotiating contracts or the winters that he spent with his family.

Thinking of it, Jaskier realised that he probably was the only friend besides Roach that Geralt had.

Jaskier swallowed against the lump forming in his throat and continued walking to Geralt, announcing his presence with a cheerful, “My friend! I missed you!”

Geralt whirled around to him, an unreadable expression on his face, and Jaskier’s chest twisted uncomfortably, unsure if he had maybe been a bit too enthusiastic, but then Geralt’s eyes softened and he gave Jaskier the smallest but most beautiful of smiles.

That evening, as they sat beside the crackling fire and Jaskier plucked a soft melody on his lute as background noise, Geralt talked to him again, telling him with only minimal prompting about the contracts he had completed while Jaskier had been away playing at court.

When the fire died down and Jaskier got too tired to stay awake any longer, Geralt softly nudged him towards his bedroll.

“We can continue this talk tomorrow,” Geralt said, a little hesitantly, as if he still wasn’t entirely sure if his voice was welcome.

“I’d love to.” Jaskier pulled his blanket up to his chin and smiled when Geralt’s shoulders lost the little tension that had taken hold of them with his last words. “Goodnight, Geralt.”

“Goodnight, Roach.”

Jaskier pulled the blanket a little higher to hide his smile. The last thing he thought, before sleep embraced him, was that it really wasn’t that bad being called by Roach’s name.

--

Now, Jaskier and Roach had never gotten along too well. He had tried to braid her mane despite Geralt warning him that she didn’t like people touching her and she had tried to bite his fingers off.

Sometimes, when Jaskier got peckish, he stole the apple slices Geralt would buy for Roach. Other times, Roach would swat at Jaskier with her tail as if he was an irritating fly, while he was in the middle of composing a song.

Safe to say, they barely did much more than tolerate each other’s presence for Geralt’s sake.

Now though, with Jaskier’s newfound knowledge about how important the mare was to Geralt, Jaskier saw her in a different light.

Oh, sure, she was still cantankerous and stubborn, but she was also Geralt’s oldest companion and friend on the Path.

So Jaskier made a point of always putting some coin aside to buy her treats whenever they got into town and composing odes to her beauty. He wasn’t sure if Roach appreciated the latter, but there was no doubt she liked the treats he got her.

It didn’t take long, until she allowed him to pet her soft muzzle and shortly after, she started following Jaskier around or approaching him happily when he came back after having split from Geralt for a while.

At first, Geralt watched this new display of affection between them warily, but all too soon, Jaskier caught him smiling when Roach nibbled at Jaskier’s hair or Jaskier went out of his way to brush her down.

One time, while Geralt had thought Jaskier was too deep in thought composing to hear him, he had whispered to Roach how happy he was that the two of them got along.

--

“Remember when I said you would like my brothers?” Geralt said one morning, completely out of the blue, while watching Jaskier try to catch the falling red leaves from the air.

Distracted, Jaskier missed the leaf just by a hair’s breadth. It landed on his head instead. Seemingly without thinking, Geralt brushed it off Jaskier’s head, lingering just a little too long to be a casual touch.

“Y-yeah,” Jaskier said, his heart jumping to his throat. “Of course I remember you talking about Eskel and Lambert.”

Something lit up in Geralt’s eyes. “You remember their names?”

“Naturally,” Jaskier said softly. “They are important to you.”

Geralt remained quiet for a little while, just staring at Jaskier with an unreadable expression. “They are,” he said finally. Geralt’s throat bobbed when he swallowed. “I was wondering…if maybe you would like to meet them?”

Jaskier’s brows shot up. “Are they near?”

Geralt shook his head and turned away, clearly pretending to check over Roach’s saddle.

“You could meet them if you came with me to Kaer Morhen.”

For once, Jaskier was at a loss of words. He must have stayed silent for so long that Geralt began worrying, for he turned back to him with a frown.

Before he could take his words back, Jaskier surged forward and slung his arms around him.

“I would love to come with you.”

--

On their way up the mountain, Jaskier needled Geralt with questions about the keep, but Geralt refused to give as much as a hint of what Jaskier had to expect from a winter with the wolves.

Jaskier considered pouting, but the twinkle in Geralt’s eyes made it impossible to even pretend to be mad at him. Not when it was clear that Geralt was going back to his taciturn ways to have the keep be a surprise for Jaskier.

And a surprise it was.

When the walls of Kaer Morhen came into view, towering over them, Jaskier lost all ability to speak. His eyes raked over the massive doors, the towers that stretched high into the sky and every part of the courtyard that he just itched to explore.

A soft noise beside him made him turn towards Geralt again. His breath caught in his throat when he met Geralt’s gaze, soft and holding more fondness than Geralt had ever allowed himself to show Jaskier while they were out there on the continent.

--

Geralt hadn’t lied when he had said that Jaskier would get along with his family. It didn’t take more than one night of drinking together, for Jaskier to decide that the other wolf witchers were his friends now too.

Eskel showed him his poetry collection and his eyes lit up when Jaskier promised to discuss every poem in it with Eskel.

Vesemir was happy to have someone who listened to him with enthusiasm when he talked about monsters and fighting techniques for once.

Lambert was a little harder to get to warm up to Jaskier, but after Jaskier had beaten Geralt in a round of gwent – granted, he had cheated shamelessly, but a victory was a victory – Lambert had barked out a laugh and ruffled Jaskier’s hair, proclaiming that he should come to Kaer Morhen more often.

--

It was mid-winter when the inevitable happened again. Jaskier had started to look forward to it, but he hadn’t realised just what it would mean if Geralt slipped up again while at Kaer Morhen.

Lambert, Geralt and Jaskier were just shovelling snow near the stables, when it happened. Well, maybe calling it ‘shovelling snow’ was a bit generous. That certainly was what they were supposed to do, but after Lambert had thrown the snow to the side with enough enthusiasm to –maybe? – accidentally hit Jaskier with it instead, it had turned into a full blown snow fight, in which Jaskier constantly shifted sides from ganging up on Lambert with Geralt and throwing his arms around Geralt in a hug to keep him in place while Lambert put snow down Geralt’s shirt.

“Stop it,” Geralt laughed and wriggled in his grip, enough to be playful, but coming nowhere close to using even half of his full strength. “Let go, or I’ll throw you into a pile of snow, Roach!”

“I’d like to see you try.” Jaskier smirked and tightened his hold. “Lambert, now!”

But Lambert was frozen mid-motion of grabbing more snow. He stared at Geralt with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

“Roach?” He asked with a snort. “Did you just call him Roach?”

In Jaskier’s arms, Geralt stiffened. “I-“

He broke off, throwing a quick glance at Jaskier over his shoulder, before looking away again. Yet, it had been enough for Jaskier to see the look that he had come to understand as blind panic on Geralt’s face.

Before Jaskier could ask him what was wrong, Geralt shrugged him off, easily freeing himself from the hold he had so happily endured before.

“Geralt-“

But Geralt didn’t even falter in his steps. He all but fled into the stables.

Jaskier exchanged a quick look with Lambert who shrugged as if he didn’t care, but followed Geralt’s flight with his eyes and a hint of worry in his expression.

Jaskier didn’t hesitate any longer and ran after Geralt.

Geralt must have heard him enter the stables and hid, for when Jaskier’s eyes adjusted to the dim light, Geralt was nowhere to be found.

Jaskier’s steps slowed and he rubbed his fingers together nervously.

“Geralt?” He asked uncertainly. The only reply he got was the huffing from the horses.

Jaskier’s heart sank, but he set his brow in determination. In two strides, he walked over to the box with Roach, who blew a breath of hot air into his face in greeting.

“Hello there, Roach,” Jaskier began, loud enough that there was no mistaking that he fully intended Geralt to hear him, even though he knew it was unnecessary to raise his voice since Geralt would have been able to hear him even if he had whispered. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while, my dear lady. Did you know that Geralt sometimes calls me by your name?”

Roach huffed and Jaskier began stroking the white stripe on her face.

“Yes, I know,” he continued, “But I swear he doesn’t mean it as an insult to you. I for one am actually rather flattered. I’ve been called by the wrong name before, and usually it’s something that makes me feel like the other person doesn’t think I’m worth having my name remembered. Or as if they don’t respect me enough to learn it. But it’s different with Geralt.” His voice softened. “If he calls me by the name of someone who means so much to him, then that is the highest honour I can imagine. You have no idea how happy it makes me that he trusts and likes me enough to talk to me like he does to his other most faithful friend. And can I tell you a secret, dear Roach?” He got up on his tiptoes to get closer to her ear as he stage-whispered, “Geralt is really important to me too. And I really want him to know that I mean it when I say that he’s my best friend, whether he calls me by your name or mine.”

Behind him, straw rustled and the tapping of steps announced that Geralt was coming closer. Not only that, but the fact that Jaskier could hear Geralt approach, meant that Geralt put effort into not startling him. Jaskier hid his smile in Roach’s neck. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched Geralt approach slowly, as if he was unsure about every step he took.

Finally, he reached them, standing on Roach’s other side. Jaskier heard him take in a deep breath and he already readied himself to listen to Geralt talk to Roach as he had just done, but then Geralt rounded Roach and came to stand before Jaskier instead.

In his eyes, fear and fondness fought a battle, that fondness won when Jaskier reached out a hand to softly brush it against Geralt’s. With a sigh that expanded Geralt’s entire chest, Geralt intertwined their fingers.

“I-thank you,” Geralt said, looking down at their joined hands. “For understanding. For not being angry at me. I – you are important to me too. More important than anyone outside of Kaer Morhen ever was.” He lifted his head again, giving Jaskier an intense look that sent shivers up his spine. With more meaning, affection and trust than anyone had ever spoken Jaskier’s name with, Geralt said, “You are the most important person to me, Jaskier.”

Jaskier’s eyes stung and he let out a small choked noise. Without thinking, he tugged Geralt closer and flung his free arm around his shoulders, holding him as tightly as he could and burying his head in Geralt’s chest. Geralt’s hand that wasn’t holding Jaskier’s still, came up to cradle the back of his head and Geralt’s cheek pressed against the top of his head.

“Geralt.” Jaskier’s voice got muffled but the low rumble in Geralt’s chest as he hummed in acknowledgement told Jaskier that he could still understand him. “You’re my most important person too. My Geralt.”

“My Jaskier.”

--

Over the years, Geralt slipped up less and less. Jaskier would have been almost disappointed, if he didn’t like the way Geralt called him “my Jaskier”, or “my Buttercup” so much.

Well. Jaskier had been wrong before when it came to Geralt and as it turned out, he continued to have this terrible habit, try as he might to get rid of it. Because, when Jaskier had assumed that Geralt didn’t slip up on his and Roach’s names anymore, he had been dead wrong.

The thing was, after years of having Jaskier at his side, of being close to him and loving him with his entire being, Geralt had gotten so used to talking to Jaskier, that one day, while Jaskier was plucking away idly at his lute and Geralt was brushing down Roach, he heard the most curious thing, that made him smile wider than he had ever smiled before.

“There you go,” Geralt said as he brushed down Roach’s flank and she kept turning her head, trying to get to the treats in Geralt’s pockets. “You’ll get the treats if you’re a good horse and stay still for once, Jaskier.”

[genshingarbage]

Hiii, Good Morning/Good afternoon/Good evening Mod Kaeya,Mod Diluc^^, It's my first time requesting, Can I request? Angst with any Genshin Impact characters?,Soo The genshin characters are much more spending time with Lumine? Then the reader asks why they aren't spending much time with them and the genshin characters snaps and said the readers are weak ( reader is already insecured because they can't fight) and they have work to do then the reader leaves to fight hilichurl camps and unfortunately there's 2 Mitachurls ,luckly the genshin characters were on time to save the reader? Then they apologized to them? (It's Gn reader^^) sorry if it's alot and sorry if my grammar is wrong you both can disregard this ask stay safe ^^

Good afternoon dear Traveler!! Well done for making your first request! And such a lengthy one too oh my~ Your grammar is fine don’t even worry about it. Sorry for the long wait, Mod Diluc and I have been busy on the Kuzuha banner haha but I hope you enjoy this tear jerking tale (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧- Mod Kaeya

Recommending this song for this oneshot!

Go checkout Anna_drw01 for more art like this!! Here’s her artstation!

The distant scientist, renowned for being hard to get close to was someone you used to consider one of you closest friends. The two of you spent day and night together, hellbent of cracking open every single challenge you possibly could together. Many considered you two to be able to solve any mystery put in front of you together.

The keyword was together.

There was a mystery you yourself couldn’t solve; Why was Albedo’s time with you slowly becoming a rarity?

You’d been wondering why he’d been spending so much less time in the lab he’d meticulously built over years of his life or on site where his precious research was being buried little by little by crystalline flakes, tending to his experiments and recording time sensitive data that would be valuable for months to come for the research team. Albedo had been gone so long both you and Sucrose had designed a plan in order to cover the work he’s left unattended whilst managing your own on top of the store. It was beginning to get concerning. If the leader of the investigation squad was absent constantly then what did that mean for the rest of you? Surely he was only gone for the sake of something important he’d found, something he placed above everything else he was researching. That’s what you lent yourself into believing.

That is, until you saw him with her.

You couldn’t blame him honestly, Lumine was gorgeous. Her golden hair and fiery eyes are what a lot of men probably look for in a partner, even more so was the mystery behind her origins and the raw power she held in her fingertips at any given moment.

You didn’t have to have a vision to be able to tell that.

Maybe that was another thing he sought in her.

A traveling partner that could wield the powers of the elements, a traveling partner that could hold their own against the world. Maybe that wasn’t all he was looking for but also a romantic partner.

He finally came back to the investigation camp briefly one night, it was during a particularly rough blizzard ravaging across Dragonspine and the areas surrounding it a little like a turbulent child tossing snowflakes across already painted, buried monochrome peaks. He trudged into the camp with her rambunctious adventuring party, shouted something over the whipping wind about how they should get warm inside one of the communal tents dotted around the sparse camp halfway up the summit you inhabited and then ducked into the burgundy tent you were working away in with nothing but the clinking of vials harmonizing with the bubbling of flames. It was nothing but candle light right then in the morbid lonely night, only the sounds of the howling gales outside of the ones in your lab. If you’d felt like you were being watched during the night before now, Albedo’s piercing analytical gaze did nothing but soothe the loneliness you’d held inside yourself all night.

“I need a strong multi use Geoculus locator, if we have any.” The blonde said

He must’ve seen your shoulders perk up because he waited patiently as you searched through the shelves upon shelves of prototypes you’ve developed. After somehow finding one, you patted over to him. He seemed pleased with your work, if a bit distant as usual. He was in a good mood so you guessed would be the best time if any to ask. “Sir… with all due respect why have you been away so long?”

Albedo’s pale face was blank as usual though he blinked as if surprised you spoke, “Lumine needed someone with a sufficient Geo vision, I happened to be the one she knew the best to get the job done.”

“So you’ll be returning?”

“I never said that.”

You tried not to take it harshly, this was just how he spoke after all. “…could I come along then?” It was a long shot yes but you still missed his company, if it meant having to deal with him getting buddy buddy with that Outrider then you would suffer. 

It was quiet for a moment between you two as you stared him down and he observed the locator thoroughly. After he was pleased enough with the golden glowing device it was packed away into his back pocket without so much as a second thought, the man was obviously stalling while he thought carefully over the question but the result wouldn’t be to your liking evidently. You were about to make  a point you hoped would be convincing before he spoke, his voice sharp and words cold like the very ice being tossed around the blackened sky.

“No, you’re not a skilled enough fighter so you’d only slow us down more than we can handle to be right now. You’d be useless to us.” He put a hand to his chin for a moment in thought, “If you’d had been able to development a synthetic elemental burst like Sucrose’s swirl mark II…I would have considered but you can’t even do that.”

Watching him leave with them the morning after was torturous, they rushed off into the snowy landscape with barely a goodbye and never a second glance from Albedo beyond that. It stung.

Maybe that’s why when hilichurl camps, specifically ones becoming a nuisance to caravans as well as supply lines along Dragonspine almost avidly to the near point where there would be commissions called in, were brought up in conversation you elected to take a weapon and simply clear them out yourself. You could barely fight one off but usually they were smaller towards the base of the mountain so you figured it would be alright. You would just patch yourself up if you got a bit injured. Surely the pain of the injures would busy your silly little heart long enough to forget about Albedo and his cruel words to you, surely you would barricade your feelings of pining behind walls of broken bones and struggling through the snow. Maybe that was the remedy, the answer you needed to your mystery. Your pleas would probably be hidden by the snowstorms anyways.

Mitachurls unfortunately inhabited bigger camps. Thankfully, Frost Lawlichurls tended to live alone. The former happened to find it’s way to you, charging with the might of a bull on ozmanthys wine. As you were bowled over you heard an abrupt shout, maybe saw a brief flash of familiar golden light as the battle grounds around you erupted further into chaos but it didn’t matter that pale arms were abruptly gripping you to a panicked sword user. Your vision was to blurry, the shouts of attacks and spells too muffled and faint, your body felt too limp to comprehend even the though of moving. You could barely breathe.

Someone was muttering, crouched around you and holding you close, muttering something over and over again. Something important. The feeling of their lips pressed against your forehead, his quiet gut heaving sobs as he rocked you back and forth. Albedo’s pleas for you to just hang on a moment longer—

Where were you again?

There was sunlight and it was warm, a pleasant warmth that almost lulled you back to the sleep you’d fallen into. The only thing that kept you awake was that this was indeed not your bed.

Where were you?

Sitting up hurt, your whole body ached and you were certain something must have been rearranged or was missing because the pain shot through you like an arrow. Your sharp exhale alerted the two others in the room, one who immediately sprinted to get a nurse in an emerald and navy flurry of skirts and capes.

You were dizzy, only steadied by a gentle hand on your limp shoulder. Ah, when did you turn to face him?

The blonde man infront of you asked if you remembered what happened, his voice was soft but didn’t hold any emotion. The smoky circles around his beautiful striking cerulean eyes did nothing but worry you slightly as they implied a long period of time without sleep. You’d imagine him to be the sciency type who didn’t really know what to think of other people so he stayed nose deep in books to pass the time, though there was a deep sadness in the way he held himself you couldn’t understand.

“I don’t…who are you?” You thought you saw him flinch but figured it was a trick of the light.

“No one important, nevermind me.” The man sat up with an unreadable expression even for how blank it had been for this whole brief conversation after you had awoken, getting up from his chair to begin walking to the door when he stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“…for what?” You didn’t understand.

“Nothing that would natter now, please. Rest.”

You didn’t remember.

[chiliiscereal]

May I offer a prompt of how the turtles would be with a mom friendTM? you know the type I mean? like.... I think they might benefit from that kind of friend in the group lol (also I love your stories, your such a cool writer keep up the awesome work!)

Rottmnt headcanon: mom friend TM

And thanks so much!

Mom friends are severely underrated XD

——

-Okay these boys need a mom friend badly

-but that’s where you come in!

-as the mom friend you keep them safe in many ways

Donnie💜

-starting with this guy, he never really wanted a mom friend

-when April first brought you over he was cold

-didn’t even bother talking to you

-you were determined to befriend him, even though he left whenever you tried to talk to him

-you became comfortable with the turtles quickly and the others accepted your mom friend nature

-not Donnie though

-he didn’t hate you, sure, but you were too much

-you were too overbearing and too nervous for his safety!

-you’d make him wear a helmet when he used his jet pack 

-you made him put on SUNSCREEN whenever he went outside

-you told him to be careful when rewiring a project even!

-it’s like you wanted to ruin his bad boy image

-he hated it and wanted you to stop being so smothering

-…

-…until he realized that attention and moral support comes with the smothering

-the moment he realizes that he’s all for it

-he’s no longer hiding his inventions from you so you won’t bug him, but he’s seeking you out for your advice and praise

“Hey so I made this and… I don’t know…”

“Wow you built that? It’s awesome!” 

“Really? I mean, I know, I just wanted to show you that it was.”

-praise ain’t something this boy has

-have you SEEN how his brothers react to his ideas?

-he needs this

-with praise comes affection

-I’m talking homemade snacks and questions that his brothers never ask

-you’re there if he needs a cup of coffee or if he hasn’t eaten in a while or taken a nap

-“don, it’s been two days since you slept go to bed.”

-“*hissssss*”

-“I’ll make a cup of coffee for you after...?”

-“*hisses but less intense*”

-you may be good at making snacks and everything

-very good in facts

-but the questions are probably his favorite part

“Woah what’s that supposed to do?”

“Well it’s a device that’s meant to fix all the broken McDonald’s ice cream machines.”

“That’s amazing! What did you use to build it? How does it work?”

-you’re actually trying to learn about his work!

-you’re trying to learn about him!

-he loves it

-and he loves that you’re careful to

-it’s a nice change from his brothers

-you’re someone he can depend on

-doesn’t matter if it’s missions or just being a good friend

-and I mean it when I say depend

-you’re there when he needs help rewiring something or just to simply talk about his dumb dumb brothers

-honestly April isn’t even mad that Donnie stole one of her best friends

-she knows he needs this

-Donnie fully learned to trust you after the purple dragons mishap

-you told him they were untrustworthy but his heart was dead set on that satin jacket

-when he came back to the lair, late at night, with no satin jacket and a handful of his missing tech, he found you raising an eyebrow at him from where you had sat to wait for him

-he knew from then on to trust you and your opinions, even though his often got in the way

-you can often be found sitting on Donnies bed while he works, offering your company and comments

-Normally no one else is allowed in while he works but that’s just because they don’t have anything positive to provide

 Raph❤️ 

-Raph IS the mom friend

-your mom friend energy and his mom friend energy just work together so well together

-I’m talking planning missions together, figuring new ways to trick his brothers into being responsible, cleaning the dishes, and even making snacks together

-“so the mission is tomorrow right?”

-“yep! Should we bring apples with peanut butter or pretzels with hummus?”

-“well Donnie doesn’t like peanut butter, but Mikey does, so both?”

-“awesome! And you’ve got the water covered?”

-“dude I even have caprisuns packed so we’re ready!”

-the others find it to be too much with the two of you but Raph really appreciates the help

-especially during the pizza puff episode

-oh that part nearly set you on fire with worry

-Raph had never seen you that worked up

-you had a fan for Leo, a bowl for Mikey, and a bag of fruit snacks for Donnie

-Raph has to activate his supreme mom friend energy to get you to stop hovering over them

-that meant literally dragging you away from them so they could figure things out on their own

-he’s seen you be a mom friend to them all the time

-but never once for him

-you two were like... co mom friends working together to stop the younger irresponsible three

-until Raph got separated in the sewer

-oh man you were torn with worry

-you nearly destoryed the place looking for him

-and finding him all savage like that... ack that was enough to practically shatter your heart in two

-once he stopped trying to barbecue villains and destroy his brothers you took him to the lair and helped him calm down

-you even turned on a movie for the two of you so he could relax

-it was nice to have your best friend and partner in stopping crime back

-Raph of course was embarrassed because it’s HIS job to help everyone, not the other way around

-after much assurance you had him convinced that you didn’t mind

-he was grateful to have you and your help

-he just wished you didn’t worry quite so much

Leo 💙:

-this boy is soaking it all up from the start

-someone to compliment him?

-someone to help him out?

-someone to admire his achievements?

-oh he’s all for it

-he’s showing off skateboard stunts, he’s doing flips, and he’s randomly pulling you to him and creating a portal

-usually you end up somewhere sketchy but sometimes it works out

-you always have to be ready though

-one minute you’re walking to the projector room and the next you’re in New Jersey with a sheepish looking red slider

-his only problem is now he has to be more careful with skateboard tricks

-he’s fine with a helmet but when it comes to you hovering next to him while he’s going down the skate ramp...

-eh he’s not so fond of that

-praise?

-sure

-home made gifts and cards?

-always appreciated

-but you constantly trying to protect him from things he knew how to do?

-no

-just no

-now he only feels like he can skate if you’re not there or if he goes to a skate park without telling you

-you figure out quickly and still worry that he’ll mess up a flip

-doesn’t matter if you’re watching or not

-you’re the mom friend

-your job is to worry

-you promised that you’d stop worrying about him if he can back

-you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home!

-he agreed and you did your best to keep your promise

-...

-until he actually messed up a flip

-you don’t know WHAT he landed on but it must have been sharp because there was a LOT of blood

-maybe you thought there was a lot because you were so worried but still

-you hadn’t even been in the room but you heard his shout (and crash) and you came running

-oh he was lucky you carried gauze and everything in your bag because other wise they’d have to go buy some

-you chewed him out while patching him up, much to his displeasure

-you’re both sweet and sour about it

-“I’m fine! Look, nothing’s broken!”

-“I TOLD you that you could get hurt! I TOLD you it wasn’t safe! Why did you not listen- I’m sorry does that hurt? I’m sorry!”

-“yeah it does hurt-.”

-“than you should have listened to me!!”

-for a while he’s bitter that you were just waiting for him to mess up

-clearly you thought he was just a big clutz to you

-but after a while of him avoiding you and pouting you brought it up again

-“I’m not just waiting for you to fail you know. I just want you to be okay.”

-“that’s not what it feels like! You clearly don’t trust me!”

-“life happens, Leo! Doesn’t matter how skilled you are! You’re an amazing skater but sometimes mistakes are made!”

-ha that changed his tune quickly

-“you think I’m an amazing and skilled skater?

-you just rolled your eyes and left, not saying anything about his comment

-didn’t matter

-this boy is all smiles for the rest of the day

Mikey🧡:

-he was on board from the very start

-he’s got cuddles, piggy back rides, and his own art fan/critic

-lots of baking and cooking together

-maybe even drawing if he’s lucky

-only problem?

-you don’t trust him to go out on his own

-even if it’s just to grab a video game from the store or pick up pizza

-“I’m just going down the block!”

-“what if someone sees you?”

-“I’ll be careful!”

-“just let me go with you.”

-“no! I can do this on my own!”

-you’re always offering to give him a ride or tag along just because you don’t want anything to happen to him

-that means, of course, sneaking out

-not for a long time, just enough to get some air

-but that also means you’re staying up late waiting for him to come back

-he’s your buddy!

-you can’t let anything happen to him!

-he didn’t know about it until he found you cashed out on the couch with the lamp still on

-normally you gave him an excuse about why you were still up, such as a late night snack or a movie

-but your phone and the tv were both off

-he decided to think nothing of it until he noticed that you were grumpier in the mornings

-he didn’t want his actions to affect you so he started coming back earlier

-even texting you and telling you he was fine

-you two talked and set up a deal

-he could go out by himself and you wouldn’t stay up late waiting for him as long as you had his location on your phone

-it was easier for both you from then on

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Athena

So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...

I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena

Lucifer

The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...

Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...

Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here. 

Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…

Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield… 

Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!

It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!

Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...

He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.

Mammon

To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.

They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.

They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over. 

Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!

They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)

So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes... 

Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.

MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...

Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?

MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?

Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*

MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂

Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…

MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.

Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?

... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷‍♀️

Leviathan

Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.

What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!

It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...

Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.

The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up… 

However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?

Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory. 

MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*

Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?

MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*

Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???

MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*

Satan

Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.

He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...

He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.

He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...

At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!

It's confounding! It's infuriating!! 

...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!

Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.

Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷‍♀️

The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…

Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…

Asmodeus 

They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?

Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...

First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…

Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.

Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.

And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.

Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!

MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?

Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.

Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…

MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.

Asmo: You’re going already??

MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*

Beelzebub 

Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.

He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷‍♀️

No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!

Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night… 

And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…

It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢

After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…

The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓

Belphegor 

In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.

… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…

How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???

Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.

It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑 

They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...

Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully… 

And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...

Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...

He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!

Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…

Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏

[dreamescapeswriting]

Rent An Oppa ~ HHJ [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.5K 

 PAIRING: Hyunjin x Reader

GENRE: non idol AU, strangers to lovers, rent an oppa, fluffy, a little angst but nothing too major, pining for one another, first kiss, 

A/N: I made this one a fluffy one without smut hunny, I hope that this is okay hunny

 Moving to South Korea was one of the best decisions you'd ever made. It had been your dream for years to move somewhere that wasn’t where you were from. You’d finally made it happen, you were here. Sitting in your new apartment staring out at all of the sights that you could see. The apartment you’d gotten was a loft apartment which was something you’d never thought of having before, but it was perfect. The ground floor was open plan, besides the bathroom of course and you had large floor to ceiling windows that looked out at the city of Seoul. Your bedroom was just up a flight of stairs and it looked out at the ground floor, it was unbelievably perfect for your first home in Seoul. There was only one thing wrong with everything and that was that you didn’t know your way around. Sure there were maps and people you could ask for help but you wanted a tour guide.

You’d seen an app being advertised on your plane ride over which you were tempted to use. “Rent an Oppa.” It sounded like it was straight out of a K-Drama but it was real and monitored wonderfully. Everyone had a screening test, background test and everything is done before they were allowed to become an “Oppa” for the app. 

“Let’s see what this is then,” You mumbled to yourself as you sat down on your sofa, pulling your knees up to your chest as you began to scroll through the app. Everyone had profiles set up with verification photos to prove that they were who they said they were, then there were some small descriptions about the boys or girls there. 

Endlessly scrolling and swiping through profiles you couldn’t find anyone you thought you would get along well with. You wanted someone that you had things in common with, if you were going to be paying them for their time you might as well do something you both enjoy doing it.

About to give up hope and go at it alone a profile popped up. A new profile that caught your eye. The photo was of a boy around 21-years-old standing on top of a rooftop, dressed in a smart shirt and tie aiming a camera at whoever was taking the photo of him. Photography-nut was written in his profile making you giggle a little as you flicked through his images. In each of them, it began to reveal his face and mid-length blonde hair. He looked as though he was really sweet and kind, the kind of boy you took to meet your parents.

“Hyunjin,” You smiled as you said his name, swiping onto his profile to see what rates he was charging. It wasn’t expensive and just in your budget range so you messaged him. There was no harm in seeing if he was free that day. 

[12:03] Y/n: 

 Hi there, I’m not entirely sure how this thing works 😅😅 but could we arrange a meetup? I’m new in Seoul and need a tour guide 🥰

Staring at the phone you debated with yourself if that was the right way to start a conversation with someone on the app. There was no tutorial on how to message them or if you had to wait for them to message you first. 

[12:07] Hyunjin 🍀 

Hey! I would love to arrange a meetup. I can meet you anywhere you feel comfortable! Welcome to Seoul! 💞🌺

Smiling to yourself you gave him the address to the shop right beside your apartment building. It was the only play you really knew so far and you wanted to meet him somewhere you knew the exact location of. Rather than wandering around lost trying to find somewhere to meet him you didn’t know yet.

Dressed in a long-sleeved Beige shirt-dress and some black leggings you waited outside the shop, acting as though you were busy on your phone so you didn’t look as though you were staring out for Hyunjin. It was already going to be awkward enough without you looking around gormlessly for him.

“Hey,” A voice called out making you jump a little as you looked up from your phone to see him. He was identical to his photos though his hair was a little longer now. 

“Hi, I’m Y/n.” You shook his hand and he smiled nodding his head, 

“I’m Hyunjin and I know this is probably going to be awkward for a while so I hope we can become friends throughout it,” He smiled as he let go of your hand. This time you looked at him you took in his whole appearance, he was wearing a black and white striped turtle neck and some black jeans. 

“I’m new to the app so we’re both doing firsts here,” He smiled as he looked around you both, taking in everything around him as he tried to figure out what you could do for the day. 

“It’s still quite early in the afternoon...I can show you around, show you all of the shops, shopping mall and just around Seoul itself if you like?” You were completely taken by his voice, appearance and how sweet he was being with you. 

“I would love that, the only place I know is the shop and my apartment.” You laughed weakly as he nodded his head. 

“Would you mind if I linked our arms?” You shook your head and you linked arms with one another as he began to lead you down the road. 

“So what brings you to Seoul?” He questioned as he tried to break the ice. It was nice that he was trying, you had rented him for the rest of the day and you were going to have to get to know each other. 

“I fancied a change in pace. I’ve always loved South Korea and the culture,” You admitted as your eyes glanced around at all of the people you were pacing. Everyone in their own worlds as they went about their daily lives. Each person you saw looked as though they had been plucked out of a fashion magazine, their outfits were so effortless yet stood out in the large crowds. 

“When did you get here?” He asked as he waited at the side of the road for lights to change and you could cross without being in any kind of danger. 

“About two days ago...I’ve been locked up in my apartment eating Ramen. I was so worried I’d get lost.” You groaned thinking back on it while Hyunjin laughed a little, shaking his head. 

“I’ll add a shopping trip on our list of things to do. I can’t have you living off only ramen.” He chuckled and your whole heart seemed to swell up when you saw the smile on his face. It was honestly one of the prettiest smiles you’d seen and his dimples were so deep you wanted to reach up and poke them. But you didn’t.

The rules of the app were very simple. No inappropriate touching, no exchange of social media or phone numbers. Once the dates were over that was it unless you rented another one but only through the app. 

“I should take you to see Cheonggyecheon River, a small walk down and we’ll be at the nicest cafes,” Hyunjin explained as he seemed to be enjoying this almost as much as you were,

“So why did you join the app?” You questioned as you looked at him, it had been a question on your mind since seeing him on the app. 

“I needed the extra cash for art supplies...I’m studying at the moment so this seemed to be the perfect side job.” He explained as he began heading down some stairs towards a small river that ran through the city.

“Cheonggyecheon River,” You whispered as you looked around, it had only been something you’d seen in photos but now it was real.

“So you do art?” You questioned as you went back to looking up at Hyunjin while you walked. 

“Yeah. I try to, I’m learning to draw, I thought it would be fun.” You smiled wanting to know more about it. 

“Do you have any pictures?” He nodded as he sat down on an empty bench with you, pulling out his phone to show you photos of the drawings he’d been doing in his spare time. 

“These are amazing! You did these?” You were truly shocked to see someone who was just learning to draw create amazing pieces as he had done. Some were anime characters, others were drawings of himself and another was a drawing of a dog.

“This is my favourite,” You told him as you looked at the Chihuhaha drawing he’d done, 

“My little Kkami, I missed him so I drew him from a photo.” You smiled at the drawing again, 

“Do you not get to see him much?” He shook his head as he looked out at the water. 

“I live in a dorm with seven guys who are studying, Kkami is at home with my family.” Your heart clenched at the thought of him not getting to see his dog much, 

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head at you, you had nothing to be sorry for. 

“Don’t be, it makes the time I have with him all the more special. Shall we start to go?” You nodded getting up from the bench once more and heading in the direction he was leading you in. 

The two of you had gotten to know each other more on your walk over to the supermarket, getting to know about him and all his roommates that seemed adventurous. 

“Felix came here at 2 am once just to get baking ingredients.” He laughed as he pushed the trolley around the store, adding things he thought you would enjoy as well as ingredients to make Kimchi with.

“Why was he baking at 2 in the morning?” You laughed adding some pasta products into the trolley, looking around at everything in shock. It was so much larger than any other supermarket you had been in and it was empty. Hardly anyone besides you and Hyunjin was around and there was soft music playing through some speakers.

“It’s Felix, who knows why he does what he does,” He laughed as he watched you. You were standing in front of ramen packets and he smirked a little, 

“You could get the cups. They’ll be better for you and cheaper in price.” Thanking him you added a bunch into the trolley and smiled a little, 

“Noodles are the only thing I can successfully cook.” You chuckled while Hyunjin shook his head at you, 

“I need to give you cooking lessons but we’re almost out of the day...I can send you some cooking books if you like.” The thought of the day almost being over made you sad to think you’d never see him again. 

“I could book you for another day? I would love to learn to cook from someone who’s lived here their whole life,” Yes. That was the reason. Totally not because every time he smiled or laughed your heart fluttered. Hyunjin’s heart seemed to flutter at the thought of getting to meet you again, although he was getting paid to hang out with you it didn’t feel forced. It felt natural to be around you as though he had known you for years and he couldn’t wait to do it all over again.

“Sure! We should get some ingredients to cook with tomorrow. Your Kimchi will stay good for three to six months if you keep it in the fridge and once you know-how. You’re pretty much great for everything,” You smiled before nodding. Both of you grabbing more and more ingredients for recipes you could freeze and add to the freezer.

Laying in bed that night you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at the day you had. Hyunjin bought you home in a cab, helping you in with the bags before he helped you put everything away. You’d already paid him before he got home and booked another day together but none of it felt like a job or obligation to either of you. Hyunjin went home with a giant smile on his face having enjoyed the day much more than he had expected to. 

“I told you that you’d have fun,” Chan said as he walked into the kitchen later that night to see Hyunjin couldn’t stop smiling. 

“I had a lot, she’s amazing Hyung.” He explained as he began to pour himself some hot chocolate and get ready for a few hours of studying before bed. 

“Just don’t get attached. The rules were simple Hyunjin.” He nodded as he headed back to his dorm room to find Felix sitting there waiting for everything that had happened that day.

“Felix made cookies.” Was the first thing Hyunjin said to you as you opened the door to see him standing there. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt, a grey jacket and some shorts. It was the hottest day of the year. 

“His famous ones?!” You asked a little too excitedly as you saw the Tupperware box filled to the brim with cookies all of different shapes and sizes.

“He was baking last night and he thought I could share them.” It was a lie. Hyunjin had practically begged Felix to bake you some the night before. He’d told you so much about them and he’d seen the look on your face when he mentioned them. He wanted you to try them.

“Tell him I said thanks,” You hummed as bit down into one of the cookies, instantly rolling your head back at the taste of them. 

"He could run his own bakery, oh my goodness," Hyunjin smiled as he walked into the kitchen pulling out an apron he'd brought from the dorms and getting ready to help you cook. 

"We'll start with the Kimchi, it'll be the best thing to start with and then whatever you're planning for your dinner." You nodded at him, finishing off the cookie before you washed up and pulled on an apron you'd gotten from the store yesterday.

While you were chopping and washing up the ingredients Hyunjin was telling you everything you needed to do. 

"You know you should be a chef...Or give out cooking classes." You told him as you began adding all of the ingredients together. 

"I would give you five stars," He laughed softly as he looked at you, 

"Like a Michelin chef?" You nodded at him as you continued to add everything together. Hyunjin laughing a little as he began to stir some of the stew he'd been making, scooping some up for you. 

"You've reached the peak of taste, you'll never go back to normal food I promise." He laughed as you hummed at the taste of the stew. 

"You'll have to take some home with you, there's no way I'll eat all this to myself." You mentioned as you stared at the huge stew pot he was cooking with. 

"I'm sure the guys would love it," Hyunjin said before adding a little more spice to the stew and leaving it.

The two of you camped out on your sofa for hours just spending time getting to know one another. He told you all about his life at the dorms while you told him about life back at home. 

"Do you miss it?" He asked as he bit into one of the cookies and looked at you,

"Sometimes. I miss the people more than the place but it's home." You frowned thinking back on your time, it wasn't as though you were never going to go back again, but this was your life now.

"I suppose that's how it is with many people." He smiled weakly putting down his plate and looking at the time, he only had an hour left with you before he had to head home for the night. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" You shrugged your shoulders as you thought about it. Nothing was planned for at least a month, your job was waiting for some final paperwork to be done.

"Nothing that I know of,"

"Do you want to go to Seoul Tower, it's one of the best tourist spots. I think you'll enjoy it there," You smiled while nodding your head, wanting to spend all of the time in the world with Hyunjin. For as long as you could at least.

"Sure!" You smiled at him before going over to the stew to get everything put into smaller tubs for him to take home. The subject of payment was growing closer and neither of you wanted to feel awkward about talking about it again.

"Hyunjin. You're growing attached," Chan warned as soon as Hyunjin stepped through the door that night. All eight of the boys were on the app to earn some extra cash and for them, it had been routine days out. A cafe, a shopping spree here and there but that was it. None of them ever spent so much time getting to know their clients or even cook with them. 

"I'm not. She's just being a nice friend Hyung," He complained as he placed the stew down onto the counter. Calling out to the boys that there was food if anybody was hungry for it.

"She's a client Hyunjin. Nothing more." He rolled his eyes as he listened to Chan bring up the subject of the rules again. 

"No exchanging numbers, social media or inappropriate touching. I know Hyung, Gosh what do you think we're doing? Fucking in some park?" He grumbled taking a cookie and heading for his bedroom. He didn't want to hear the same speech over and over again reminding him that he couldn't have you the way that he wanted. There were feelings growing between you and he knew he was never going to be able to act on them and it killed him inside.

The days you spent together began to grow more and more and you forgot that this wasn't just friends hanging out together. That you were paying him for spending time with you. That was until the end of the night when you would wire transfer him the cash when he left leaving you both feeling awkward the next morning. Only for that to fade whenever you got on with the day that you had planned together. You'd seen almost every tourist attraction there. Hyunjin took you to Nami Island, ice cream dates, cafe dates, Seoul Tower and today you were going to Gyeongbokgung Palace.

"Everything okay? You seem quiet." He chuckled as you waited in line together to get tickets for the palace. Your eyes wandered up to him as you smiled weakly. 

"Fine...I just can't wait to get in there." You lied not wanting to make anything between you more awkward than it had to be. 

The palace was beautiful and filled with history Hyunjin couldn't wait to tell you about it. Explaining everything and tell you all of the facts he knew about the palace. 

"Did you come here a lot?" You asked as you both sat down on some grass patches by one of the lakes. He'd brought along a picnic basket and a blanket for the two of you. The basket was filled with food he’d cooked and baked goods Felix had been forced to make once again, 

“When I was a kid. I love history so I used to beg mum into taking me.” He laughed as he remembered all of the weekends he would spend there, learning about everything that he could.

“That’s amazing,” You smiled as he held up a spoon to your lips, spoon-feeding you some yoghurt he had bought along with him. You hummed letting him feed you when you looked around at different people around you. Lots of couples were doing the same thing as you both. Sitting together on the grass as they fed one another. 

“Hey I was-” Hyunjin stopped speaking when you turned to look at him, neither of you realising how close you were to one another until your lips almost touched. Neither of you moved. You just stared at him, eyes flicking from his lips to his mouth your whole body aching to lean in and kiss him. But you didn’t. You sat there looking at him as he looked at you. 

No one would have to know, he could just lean down and kiss you right now and no one would know about it. It wasn’t as though there were guards on the apps that tracked their every move. Placing down the spoon he looked at you, scooting closer to you as he watched to see if your facial expression changed at all. His right hand slowly rose to your face and he cupped your face in his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip as you let out a small whimper. 

“If I do this, there’s no going back.” You shrugged your shoulder. You didn’t want to go back. You wanted his lips on yours, you didn’t care about anything else.

Hyunjin pressed his lips against yours and instantly it was sweet yet filled with passion, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck as you kissed him back. Lips moving in sync with one another as he pulled you closer to him. The world around you faded away as you made out on the small patch of grass together, forgetting that he was paid to be there and you were renting him for the day. None of that mattered when you felt the way you did. Your whole body prickling with tingles as he kissed you. Lips parting and tongues touching. Everything around you was gone. All you cared about was this moment. 

After taking you home Hyunjin came in to have hot chocolate with you, well over his intended time limit and continued to kiss you. Cuddle you. Only making you yearn for him to stay longer but he had to go home. He had classes the next day.

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” You admitted as you stood by the front door of your apartment. Neither of you moving as you stared up at him. It was your last week before work and you could no longer afford to pay him. Though the subjects of paying for dates had gotten too weird for you and Hyunjin to talk about. 

“I’m sure we’ll see each other around,” He sighed knowing he couldn’t give you his number or any way of contacting him outside of the app. He’d hoped he’d told you enough about his personal life for you to accidentally bump into one another somewhere. 

“Hyunjin I think-” He kissed you softly not wanting you to finish the sentence. He was getting feelings for you too but admitting them out loud would make him stay and he couldn’t. 

“I will see you around,” He whispered putting an emphasis on the “will” before he leant down to kiss you one last time. His hands on your waist as he smiled against your lips, pulling away and leaving you alone. 

Weeks passed by and Hyunjin saw no sign of you in any of the spots he had told you about, he even made an effort to walk by your apartment building every night home from classes but there was no sign of you.

“You’ve been so weird lately. Why haven’t you been going to see Y/n?” Felix grumbled as he rolled over in bed one night to see Hyunjin laying wide awake at almost 1 am. Just sitting there and staring at the top of the bunk bed he was under. 

“I can’t...I have feelings for her and I didn’t want to keep taking her money.”  Crawling down from the top bunk Felix came to see Hyunjin. He was fully dressed and staring at the ceiling still. 

“It’s creepy. Stop staring like that. Just go and “accidentally” bump into her...What’s the problem?” Hyunjin sat up and shook his head, 

“You don’t think I’ve been trying that? I’ve been walking by her apartment building almost every night. Sitting in cafes...Maybe I was reading into it wrong.” Hyunjin’s phone flashed up and he darted toward it only to see it was an email from the Rent an Oppa app telling him that his account was deactivated. 

“You quit?”

“I didn’t want to do it anymore.” He mumbled before getting up from the bed and grabbing a jacket, 

“Where are you going? It’s almost 1:30?” Hyunjin said nothing as he left the bedroom.

The account was gone and all that was left was a stupid message telling you that Hyunjin has left the account. Staring down at your phone you hated yourself for not messaging him sooner to arrange something. You had to see him again. For the last two weeks, you had been going to what he said was his favourite cafe and waiting for him. You’d do the paperwork for work there, read books. You’d been in there so much the owner knew you by name.

“I’ll make you some goodnight tea,” The elderly owner whispered as she walked over to your table. They were open 24 hours which was nice at times like this when you couldn’t get to sleep. 

“Thank you,” You whispered as you went back to looking through the paperwork you had to finish. The job wasn’t what you expected it to be so you were trying to file paperwork whilst look for something else to do there. 

“Nightcap for you too?” The elderly woman called out to someone who had just walked through the door. Frowning to yourself you glanced up to see a hoodied boy walk through the shop and stand at the counter. 

“You’re not alone tonight. Someone else who can’t sleep,” The hoodied boy began to turn and as soon as you locked eyes your heart lept to your throat. 

“Hyunjin?” You whispered to yourself as he began heading over to your table, eyes wide as he saw you sitting there. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” He laughed as he sat down beside you, both of you just as happy to see each other. 

“I-I’ve been coming here almost every day,” You admitted as he looked at you, hands finding yours and holding onto them as tightly as he could. He never would have thought you would come here, he’d only mentioned it once and how much it meant to him. 

“I only told you about this place once,”

“I could see how much it meant to you...I thought I might catch you here and then we could...Go on a normal date.” He let out a breathy chuckle as he nodded his head. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m paying.” He told you as he kissed your lips softly. All of a sudden all of those weeks away from one another melted into nothingness. It was just the two of you together once again giving you the freedom to date, exchange numbers and hang out without some pesky app or their rules in the way. 

Tagline: @minholuvs​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​

[eliemo]

Call Me When You're Sober

Summary: Remus tells Janus he loves him for the first time. Or at least...Janus thought he had.

TWs: alcohol usage in the beginning and talk about being drunk throughout, misunderstandings, hangovers

Notes: Human au, loosely based on a drawing from @underdog-arts their art is amazing go support their patreon.

Established romantic Demus/Dukeceit and background (very background) Prinxiety

“I’m not going to kiss you.”

Janus frowned, something that could probably be considered a pout with how out of it he was. He chased Remus’s mouth as the other man pulled away, one hand still carded through Janus’s hair.

His frown was definitely closer to a pout judging from the way Remus laughed out loud, eyes softening in a way anybody else rarely got to see, and Janus felt his cheeks flush even further. They’d been tinged with pink since his second drink (Remus hadn’t stopped pointing out the color in his face all night, adorably smitten by it) but at this point there was no way to blame his blush entirely on the alcohol.

“I’m not gonna kiss you, Jan,” Remus repeated, grinning insufferably when Janus slurred an illegible plea. “Not right now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re drunk,” Remus said, moving his hands from Janus’s hair to keep him steady on the bar stool. “You won’t even remember any of this in the morning.”

“I will,” Janus protested, tongue slow and heavy in his mouth. “I always do.”

“Alright then, party animal.” Remus smirked, standing from the bar stool to drape one of Janus’s arms over his shoulder, helping him stagger to his feet. “Let’s get you home. Pat bought us an Uber.”

“But--”

“You can have a kiss when you’re sober,” Remus said, waving at a blurred shape Janus thought might be Patton. “Ok?”

Janus couldn't even make out his own reply, stumbling and leaning heavily against Remus’s side. He felt weightless, floating through the air, and it took him a moment to realize it was because Remus had picked him up and carried him out of the bar.

It felt like forever since he’d let himself get this drunk at a party before, and even longer since Remus had been the one sober enough to take care of things.

It was...nice. Really nice. Even if what rational thought he had left knew for a fact he would feel like shit tomorrow.

He was vaguely aware of Remus gently putting him in the backseat of a car and carefully following in after him, their hands loosely intertwined.

The driver said something before pulling away from the curb and driving off but Janus couldn’t make anything out, overcome by giddy exhaustion, and focused entirely on Remus.

He snorted when he caught Janus staring, and Janus knew he’d never get Remus to admit to blushing at the attention.

Janus leaned into the touch when Remus carefully framed his face, running his thumbs along his cheekbones, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

Nobody else got to see Remus like this, thoughtful and loving and gentle. It was rare, but Janus always felt honored in some way. Even if he was so drunk he could barely comprehend it.

Remus suddenly leaned closer to press a gentle kiss to Janus’s forehead, slow and careful, one hand still cupping his jaw. He pulled back, just barely lit up by the passing streetlights, gaze soft as he looked Janus over.

“I love you,” he said for the first time, and Janus’s heart soared. “And I know you won’t remember this tomorrow.”

His face was beginning to ache with how much he was grinning, replaying the words over and over again in his head despite the fog weighing him down. Janus fell into Remus’s chest and shut his eyes to the sound of the car’s engine, trusting Remus to get them home safe.

---

Janus unfortunately did remember the night before, blurred and distant as it was, and that last conversation with Remus was the only thing keeping Janus from swearing off alcohol for the rest of his life.

His head was pounding, the light filtering in from the window felt like someone was poking knives in his skull, and every time he tried to sit up every single bone in his body violently protested, stomach lurching dangerously.

But he couldn’t even be annoyed at any of that right now.

Remus had said he loved him for the first time last night, holding his face like the most precious thing in the world, and that was the only thing on Janus’s mind.

He’d known Remus loved him. Or at least, he’d assumed. Remus tended to show love every way except verbal. It had taken some getting used to, insecurities Janus refused to voice always making him doubt that Remus actually felt the same, despite them dating for months and being friends for longer.

But Remus had said it last night. Remus had kissed Janus’s forehead and looked at him with soft fondness and told him he loved him.

He loved Janus.

And he had assumed Janus would be too drunk to remember, which meant he got to mercilessly tease Remus for the rest of the day about it.

Janus forced himself out of bed, noting with a small smile the water bottle that had been left on the bedside table. He could hear some commotion from the other room, probably Remus looking for food in the kitchen.

He sipped at the water, untangled himself from the sheets and slowly stumbled to his dresser to get a change of clothes. As uncomfortable as sleeping in jeans was, he appreciated Remus not changing him into pajamas while he was passed out.

When he felt human enough to leave his bedroom, wrapped up in sweats and a flannel, Janus slipped out of his bedroom and padded down the hall where Remus was sprawled out on Janus’s couch with a half eaten poptart on the coffee table.

“You could have slept in the bed, you know.”

Remus grinned up at him, disheveled and probably a bit sore. “Yeah well, you smelled gross.”

Janus knew Remus would never admit he just hadn’t been sure he was allowed, if Janus would be comfortable with someone sleeping next to him without clear permission.

Remus had a brass sense of humor, he was forward and grossly affectionate in public, but he was always so careful with Janus. There were so many unspoken questions, silent searches for approval, and private check-ins.

“You’re cute,” Janus said, grinning when Remus stuck his tongue out. “Do I get my kiss now?”

Something unreadable flashed in Remus’s eyes, and Janus assumed it was the realization Janus hadn’t been drunk enough to completely forget the night before.

It was gone in an instant, and Remus pushed himself up off the couch to shuffle across the small room, gather Janus in his arms, pull him close and kiss him just like he’d wanted the night before.

Remus pulled away with a wink that made Janus scowl playfully, and made his way to the connected kitchen. “I can’t figure out how to work your coffee maker.”

“If you break anything else in my kitchen I’m killing you.” Remus had managed to break his old toaster when they’d first started dating, and Janus never planned on letting him live it down. “I’ll make you some.”

Remus jumped up on the counter, watching Janus refill the pitcher in the sink and grab the coffee grinds from the counter, eventually distracted by scrolling through his phone while the pot brewed.

“Hey,” Janus called when it was done, smirking when Remus hummed nonchalantly. “Did you tell me you loved me last night?”

Remus jumped and nearly dropped his phone, fumbling for a second before managing to put it down on the counter, hands ridiculously unsteady.

Janus expected the momentary surprise, but he didn’t expect Remus to bark out a panicked laugh and shake his head.

“What? No.” He scoffed, swinging his legs over the side of the counter. “I didn’t say that. Jeez how much did you drink, Jan?”

Oh.

He’d been ready for a bit of embarrassed denial, some teasing and flirting that had become normal between them. Last night had made Janus stupidly happy- happier than he remembered being in months- but Remus had jumped straight to denying it, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the entire world.

He suddenly felt cold, and a little bit like someone had shoved him to the floor. He quickly averted his gaze so Remus wouldn’t see how much that had hurt.

“Right,” he said, sliding Remus his mug of coffee. “Yeah, duh. Sorry. I was...super out of it.”

“It’s cool.”

Janus didn’t know what he was supposed to say now. There was a lump growing in his throat, something a little more crushing than simple disappointment weighing down on his chest.

“I’m...gonna make some food,” he said after a few seconds of unnatural silence. “We still have those frozen waffles, you want any?”

“Sure.”

Remus was being abnormally curt and dismissive, and Janus could practically see him searching for an excuse to escape the tense atmosphere that had never existed between them before.

“I, uh, have a change of clothes in my bag,” Remus said, waving a hand at the hallway. “I’m gonna go get dressed.”

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he went to rummage through the freezer to hopefully distract himself with making breakfast once Remus disappeared.

This wasn’t a big deal. He could blame his suddenly blurry vision on the hangover.

He’d...really thought he remembered last night. He could still feel Remus’s hands in his hair and that stupidly sweet smile on his lips when he refused to kiss him when he was drunk.

He remembered the pink blush on his nose when he’d said those three words, quiet like they were in their own little world that night. The scene had been replaying over and over in his head until he fell asleep, and had picked right back up when Janus had woken up.

It had felt so real. He’d thought...he’d thought it was real. He thought he’d finally be able to say it freely without worrying about moving too fast for Remus.

It was possible it could have all been a dream, but...

But Remus had answered so quickly. He’d been so adamant about how he hadn’t told Janus he loved him. Like he would never even consider doing such a thing.

Which...which was fine. Janus wasn’t going to hold Remus’s feelings against him, and he certainly wasn’t going to make a big deal about it.

He’d just been mistaken assuming he and Remus wanted the same kind of relationship. Janus loved Remus and Remus...didn’t. Janus wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted, but he’d made his feelings on the matter pretty clear today.

Janus had just been too blind to realize it after months of spending nearly every waking moment together.

That was fine. It was a stupid misunderstanding. Janus wasn’t going to cry like a heartbroken idiot just because Remus didn’t love him back.

He hissed out a curse under his breath when almost immediately there were tears slipping down his cheeks, and Janus pressed a hand firmly to his mouth to muffle the sobs that tried to escape.

He was so stupid. It wasn’t like this was the first time this had happened, Janus figured he would have been able to see the signs by now. People just didn’t want him like that.

He’d just...really thought Remus was different.

He didn’t think he would ever laugh off the idea of loving Janus.

Janus wrapped his free arm around himself, swaying slightly in the middle of the kitchen as he stared blankly at the toaster, trying and failing to get himself to suck it up and stop crying.

He was being ridiculous- shaking with the force of trying to hold back his sobbing, blinded by endless tears gathering in his eyes and flowing down his cheeks- and he needed to get a hold of himself before-

“Woah, what the fuck?”

Janus jumped, refusing to look at Remus standing in the hallway as he quickly tried to wipe his tears away with the palms of his hands. “Do you want syrup?”

He heard Remus move closer and kept his head down, staring resolutely at the kitchen tiles until he could see socked feet step into the room.

He still didn’t touch Janus, still so focused on his comfort (was any of it even for Janus’s comfort? Maybe Remus just hadn’t wanted to touch him this whole time) but he moved as close as he dared and lowered his voice.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying,” Janus said automatically, choking on another hiccuping sob. “I just...have a headache. Stupid hangover.”

“Oh.” Remus hesitated, and Janus could feel him staring. “Did you take an ibuprofen? I can get you a couple from the bathroom. And like...gatorade. You still have some, right?”

Janus nodded and took a shaky breath, hating the way the tears still wouldn’t stop falling. “Yeah. In the fridge.”

“Good,” Remus said, and Janus still couldn’t bring himself to look him in the eyes. “I don’t want you hurting.”

“I’m fine. Just drank too much.”

“You were pretty drunk.”

“I don’t remember last night at all,” Janus said, more bitter than was probably necessary. “Clearly.”

It was enough to give Remus pause, plunging the kitchen into heavy silence. Janus crossed his arms and risked a glance up when he awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Anyways, gatorade—”

“I can get it.”

“No, I got it,” Remus said, and Janus watched warily as he pulled out a chair from the table. “Sit down.”

Janus hunched his shoulders, tears still sliding down his jaw just as fast as before, but he did as Remus said and shakily made his way over to the table, lowering himself carefully until he could curl up in his chair.

Remus returned almost immediately with a bottle of blue gatorade from the fridge and two painkillers from the bathroom medicine cabinet. He handed them over silently, standing awkwardly by the table while Janus took them.

Janus did his best, carefully swallowing the pills and sipping the gatorade with shaky hands. But he couldn’t get himself to stop crying, or even slow his tears, wracked with seemingly never ending sobs no matter how hard he tried to get a hold of himself. Remus standing there just made it so much worse.

He saw Remus crouch down to Janus’s level, breaths only coming out more frantic when Remus frowned and moved to hold Janus’s face in his hands.

“C’mon,” Remus said softly, brushing Janus’s cheeks with his thumbs. “What’re you crying for?”

Janus couldn’t answer. Remus sounded so gentle and adoring and it only made him cry harder, choking on a pathetic whimper as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, you’re ok.” Remus kept wiping Janus’s tears, his touch light and grounding. “It’s just me, Jan. You can tell me.”

Janus shook his head, weakly clutching at Remus’s sleeves. “N-no, I’m just...I’m being an idiot. Go get your waffles.”

Remus didn’t move, and Janus could practically feel him staring. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m being stupid,” Janus insisted, because he was. He knew he was. “I sw-swear I just...you don’t want to deal with this right now.”

“I’ll be fine, Jan. Tell me what happened.”

Remus kept brushing his tears away, warm and gentle, and Janus couldn’t catch his breath. Maybe there was a way he could fix this, get Remus to change his mind, or at least understand how he’d misread everything so horribly.

Janus finally managed to take a shaky breath, loosening his hold on Remus’s arms. “Did...did I do something wrong?”

“Wh- no?” Remus frowned, straightening a little to try and look Janus in the eyes. “You didn’t do anything.”

“You just,” Janus hesitated, wondering if it would be easier if he just gave up and dropped it. “You answered really fast when I asked about last night.”

Realization dawned on Remus’s face, and Janus’s heart dropped when he suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Oh.”

“I get it,” Janus said quickly, because now Remus was the one refusing to meet his gaze. “I do, it’s fine. I just...didn’t know if I had done something, or—”

He cut himself off when Remus suddenly pulled back, taking his comforting warmth with him, leaving Janus feeling frigid and empty.

He curled in on himself, wondering if at this point it would be a better idea just to kick Remus out of his apartment so they could start over and pretend none of this ever happened.

“It’s not...you- you didn���t...” Remus was stumbling over his own words, shuffling uncomfortably where he stood, and each attempt to explain only crushed Janus further. “It isn’t—”

“Yeah, no I get it,” Janus snapped, any venom overshadowed by the misery in his tone. He was hurt and tired and he just wanted to go back to bed. “It’s fine, Remus.”

“No, I’m—”

“I said I get it! It’s ok, I...I shouldn’t even have asked.”

“I lied.” Remus wasn’t looking at him, his back turned to Janus as he pulled and fiddled with his chain necklace. “Sorry.”

“Oh.” Janus...suddenly wasn’t sure what to say. “That you...loved me? Or that you didn’t say it.”

“That I didn’t say it,” Remus confessed, and Janus’s tears started to slow. “I, uh...I did. I said it.”

Janus didn’t move, terrified that he might somehow break the illusion and Remus would turn around laughing again, waving off any silly ideas of love or commitment.

“Did you mean it?” he asked carefully, hating how shaky his voice was. “If you were drunk we can just drop it.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” Remus said. He sighed, running a hand over his face, still turned away. “Yeah, I...I meant it.”

“Oh.” Janus expected to feel relieved, but now Remus was shaking too, and he still wouldn’t turn around, and Janus just felt scared and numb. “Why did you—”

“Because I wasn’t ready,” Remus blurted. “I don’t...I don’t know if I’m ready, and I don’t know if you...I didn’t think you would remember. It’s...it’s a huge jump, Jan. And usually I’m all for being impulsive, you know that, but you just...this is different. You deserve better than that.”

Janus wiped once more at his eyes, but something had loosened a bit in his chest at Remus’s words, the other man still tense and refusing to look up from the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, rubbing his sleeve over his face until his eyes burned. “I shouldn’t have pushed, I just thought...something else.”

“What?” Remus finally turned to face him, but his confusion only lasted a moment before his eyes widened. “Oh, fuck I didn’t even...I didn’t think about your feelings. Shit, I’m- I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No, Remus it’s fine—”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Remus pressed, running a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“I jumped to conclusions,” Janus said, trying to sound casual despite how his face was stained with tears and it felt like he’d just been punched in the chest. “It’s ok.”

Remus nodded, though he still seemed a little frantic. “We can just...ignore this. If you want to.”

Janus wasn’t sure how he felt about that solution, but he wasn’t going to push Remus out of his comfort zone any more than he already had today. “Is that what you want to do?”

“I don’t want to make you...uncomfortable,” Remus said slowly, and he smirked at the irony of his own words. “Not with this, anyway. Feelings are fucking gross and dumb and I know you don’t want any part of that, and I’m really sorry.”

“What?” Janus sat up a little straighter, wondering how he’d managed to find someone just as stupid as he was. “No, Remus—”

“I understand!” Remus kept going, barrelling over whatever Janus had been about to say. “Like, obviously I understand. I’m awful but I’m not gonna—”

“God, you’re such a dumbass.” Janus scrubbed a hand over his face, smiling into his palm. “I was upset because I thought you didn’t love me.”

Remus froze, staring with wide eyes like Janus had just said spoken in a foreign language. “Oh.”

“You answered so fast when I asked you,” Janus explained. “I thought I did something to fuck this up. Or that I’d just...misunderstood your intentions.”

“You didn’t,” Remus said. “I was- you know. Just scared.”

Janus nodded, forcing himself to take a deep breath and look Remus in the eyes. “I know. I...I know. I love you.”

Remus’s head snapped up. “You do?”

Janus actually laughed outright at the shock on Remus’s face, like a child that had just been told he was getting his first puppy. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah of course I do, Remus.”

“For real?” Remus asked, even as a huge grin began to take over his face. “Like no joke? You’re not fucking with me?”

“Well, I did think it was obvious,” Janus said, and he couldn’t help but match Remus’s smile. “I love you, you idiot.”

“Me? Shit, Jan, you need higher standards, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude.” Janus took another sip of his gatorade to hide his obvious smile. “I literally just confessed to you.”

“You confessed to having horrible taste.”

“I love you,” Janus said again, because Remus was blushing and he was absolutely using this to his advantage. “Obviously. I’m sitting here crying at ten in the morning because I thought you didn’t.”

Remus had the decency to look embarrassed, another thing almost no one besides Janus got to see. “You could have been crying because you were hungover.”

“No. I was heartbroken, dumbass.”

Remus made a face like he’d tasted something sour. “That’s gross.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Janus scoffed, capping and pushing away his drink. “You said you loved me first.”

“Gross, don’t bring it up,” Remus said, and Janus smirked as he pushed himself to his feet. “I sound like a sap.”

Janus laughed, moving to wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s (Boyfriend? They’d have to talk about that one later) waist and rest his head in the crook of Remus’s neck. “You told me you loved me. While I was drunk.”

“You cannot tell anyone.”

Janus scoffed, having no intention of honoring that wish. “Why not?”

“Because,” Remus said. “It makes me sound gross and gay.”

“You’ve always been gross and gay.” Janus pulled back, just enough to grin at him. “Besides, you’ve been teasing Roman about Virgil for months.”

“He deserves it,” Remus declared. “He needs to get over himself.”

“At least he doesn’t confess to people while they’re drunk and then lie about it the next day.”

Remus’s blush deepened and Janus finally relented. He leaned forward to press a kiss to the corner of Remus’s lips- which quickly turned into something deeper when Remus moved to capture the rest of his mouth and pull him closer.

He only pulled away when he realized he'd started crying again, the relief that Remus loved him, that he hadn’t been wrong, that he wasn’t losing what they had, hitting all at once.

Janus shuddered and struggled to catch his breath, his breathing coming out in quick gasps again, and he clung onto Remus’s shirt like a lifeline.

“Oh, shit.” Remus’s eyes went wide in panic, and Janus found himself laughing around the tears. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

“You’re ok,” Janus assured him, leaning forward again to rest his head on Remus’s shoulder. Remus didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around him. “I just...really thought I was losing you.”

“You’re not. I’m still here.”

“I know,” Janus said. He was overwhelmed and exhausted and he’d never been awake this long with a hangover. “The ibuprofen didn’t help either.”

Remus had one hand carding through his hair, the other cupping his jaw as he pressed a kiss to Janus’s forehead. Just like he had last night when he’d told Janus he loved him.

When he’d told Janus he loved him and meant it.

“We should get you back to bed,” Remus said, every bit as adoring as he’d been when Janus was too drunk to stand. “How about I bring you your waffles and we can put on a movie?”

“You’re going to get crumbs in my bed again.”

“No I’m not.” Janus didn’t even get a chance to protest further before Remus had his arms around his waist, hoisting him into the air and over his shoulder. “And you’re too hungover to stop me.”

Janus couldn’t argue with that, relaxing into Remus’s hold as he carried him down the hall and back into the dimly lit bedroom, the darkness already soothing his pounding head.

Remus set him down on the bed, kissed him again for good measure, and returned a moment later with the waffles Janus had left in the toaster. He put the plate on the nightstand beside the half empty water bottle, and settled in beside Janus.

He didn’t even pay attention to Remus’s laptop opening, or the waffle that was offered to him. Janus just wrapped his arms around Remus and rested his head on his chest.

“You’ll stay with me?” Janus asked, already drifting off to the smell of waffles and the clicking of Remus’s keyboard.

“I never planned on leaving,” Remus said, muffled from where he’d pressed his nose into Janus’s hair. “And I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Janus muttered something even he couldn’t make out, letting his eyes slip shut, breaths steadying in sync to Remus’s own.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when he must have thought Janus was already asleep, that Remus began running his fingers through Janus’s hair again, leaning forward to press one last kiss to his temple.

“I love you too,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I love you, Janus.”

Janus smiled, content with letting Remus believe he’d fallen asleep before he could hear the words. Just this once.

People who asked to be tagged for this one:

@self-taught-mess @hannahdra-ws

[imagines-hoarder]

House Warming - Bucky Barnes

Summary: Hopping through some standout moments in making Bucky's apartment a place worth coming home to. (This definitely could have been a headcanon but I refuse to do headcanons at this time.)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 2.6 k

Warnings: fluff with a lil angst

A/N: I have finished all the assignments left for my degree and decided to sit down and write today. This is probably trash but idc because it has been written and therefore I may as well release it. It's been a while since I've written and years since I've truly tried dipping my foot into a different fandom, but I figured I'd give it ago. Please don't forget to leave comments, I love interacting with y'all. Thank you @bwbatta​ for the dividers! xoxox

Masterlist

It all started with a damn candle. A ‘sandalwood & vanilla orchid’ candle tucked away in a reused cyan jar.

“I found it at the art market down the street last weekend,” you said as you placed it in the corner of the living room window. “You know we have to support local business.”

“And I shouldn’t assume this is your way of telling me my place smells, right?” Bucky quipped from the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in his hand and a lazy smile on his face. He’d just gotten back from a 12-day mission with Sam, and the last thing he had on his to-do list was to buy candles.

The smile grew firmer as you put yourself into his arms. “Complete opposite, actually. I bought it cause I thought it smelled just like you.” You hid your face within his chest, and he thanked the stars that you couldn’t see the warmth rising in his cheeks. His barren apartment felt a little bigger with a candle in the windowsill.

From there it became decorative pillows… and a couch to hold them. The small living room had quickly become a mess by the time you both had brought it up to his fourth-floor apartment, furniture wrap and packing peanuts strewn everywhere.

“I still don’t know why you needed to buy a sofa this big,” Bucky grumbled as he leaned over the back of the beige three-seater, looking down at your splayed out across its cushions.

“Don’t get me wrong, babe. I love the transient bachelor look you’ve got going on here, but you need more furniture than an armchair,” you mumbled between heavy breaths as you tried to regain control from maneuvering the couch into the apartment.

“And the pillows?” A laugh fell from your lips as you watched him look at the indigo cushions with a remarkable amount of disdain. Who buys pillows made just to look nice on a couch?

“They add character.”

“I didn’t think character was an area we were lacking in. Transient bachelor, remember?” He walked around the couch and shifted you over so he could lay beside you. You instinctively curled into him as you both closed your eyes. For a second the place felt like home. “I also don't know how you plan for us both to fit on this couch every day along with the pillows.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You looked up from his chest with a mischievous glint that made his heart skip. “It’s a pullout bed too. I’m sure it’ll be firm enough even for you.”

The home improvements didn’t stop there, but Bucky refused to admit how much he enjoyed them.

He liked having a place and person to come home to. After you had bought neutral bedding for his room, you’d spent an evening putting together ‘his and hers’ trestle bookcases for either side of the bed. He’d try to keep up his crabbish demeanor as you argued that ‘you needed a place to set your books for when you slept over,’ and a side table could no longer contain the small collection you had spilling over. Even still, he couldn’t find it in himself to banter much about the minor changes you made to make the place feel lived in.

And God, did he love living with you around. Between missions, his continued therapy, and trying to find his place in a world that had tripled in opportunity since his youth, he knew that he never had to question who he was and where he fit in when he walked through that door. You still occasionally slept at your own apartment when he was away, but he could always count on you being asleep in his bed by the time he came home.

One toothbrush in a glass became two, and from there, hand creams, face masks, and cotton pads cluttered the bathroom counter, packed away in their clear containers. You had made sure to keep lavender bath salts on hand for the late-night baths you took together when he woke up in a panic, unable to close his eyes again for fear of falling back into a nightmare.

It took time and working through plenty of hesitation before Bucky could progress from sleeping on the pull-out sofa to the bed, but ever since, you found your nights attended by restlessness whenever you weren’t wrapped in his arms.

Once your lease was up and you had a lengthy conversation about your inability to rest without him, you quickly filled the apartment with brown boxes. Bucky had been no less than astounded by how much you fit into them. From then on, no nook or cranny was without a vase or shelf.

“How many mugs does one house need,” Bucky asked skeptically while he continued to carefully pull them from their paper wrappings.

“Oh, come on! They’re fun!” You exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his waist as you took the Charlie Brown mug from his metal palm. “Plus, we go through enough coffee around here to justify some extra mugs.”

After you put the mug into the lowest shelf of the cabinet, you busied yourself with filing away the spices one cabinet over. No matter how much he tried, Bucky couldn’t pull his eyes away from you, lost in your own world as you chipped away at unpacking your belongings, making yours his, and vice versa. The domesticity in the little things you did was something he could get used to, and he wanted to return the feeling of normalcy as much as he could. He was far from the average boyfriend, but you remind him that could be a good thing. You never wanted to be average, but in these small moments, as you both did what normal couples do, he felt that he could create a new normal with you.

“So your Christmas gift came in already, and it’s too big to hide.” Your awkward tone carried over the phone as he exited a station ten minutes away from the apartment. Even though his neck ached and the cold nipped at the top of his ears, he couldn’t stop himself from releasing a breathy laugh.

“I thought you said you were good at this gift-giving thing, doll,” he teased you as he maneuvered his way to your shared apartment.

“Oh, don’t you fret, baby. I am the best gift-giver in all of New York City. I just slightly miscalculated how big this thing was and have realized it won’t fit into our closet.”

He tsked with a smirk on his face. “If you say so.”

“Hey, you gave me my Christmas gift a week ago.”

“Yeah, that’s because I didn’t know if I’d be back before Christmas.”

“Well, you will be, and I’m glad you are,” your voice softened lovingly as he pulled out his keys to the front of the building.

Bucky had gotten used to your love, but he’d vow to never take it for granted. All the pain he’d endured had somehow led him to you, the person who didn’t see his broken pieces as a burden or a project but as a potential to be whatever he desired.

When he hung up the call and unlocked the apartment, his brows furrowed into one; the apartment was pitch black. It was only when he heard your soft footstep walking towards the entrance that his face relaxed.

Before he could even kiss you, you had your palms firmly placed over his eyes. “No peeking; your gift is in the living room.”

The uncertainty in what you could have got him made his stomach clench. “Is it an animal?”

You slowly dragged him through the front hallway, making sure to avoid crashing into the entryway storage table. “I’m sorry to say it’s not alive.”

“Is it a nice welcome-home spread with candles, fruit, and the pullout bed all set up?”

He could feel your eyes roll to completion. “Easy there, sergeant. That’s for later.” You pulled him down to sit on the couch, and he kept his eyes closed as you pulled your palms away, moving to turn on a lamp. “Okay, Buck. open up.”

When he opened his eyes, it took him a moment to understand what he was seeing nestled against the wall; when he did recognize it, he could only form two words “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit indeed.”

He was quick to stand up and cross the room, eager to get a good look at the walnut centerpiece. “Does it work?”

You scoffed as you moved to kiss his cheek. “What kind of girlfriend would get her ancient boyfriend a broken phonograph console?”

He didn’t even attempt to answer as he bent down to wrap his arms around you, his lips eager to find yours. “A fucking Magnavox radio and phonograph,” he mumbled against your lips.

“A working Magnavox radio and phonograph, you mean.” When you pulled away and saw that his face held a glow reserved only for special occasions, you knew you had made the right choice. “I’ve got some records wrapped up if you want to open those now too.”

You yelped in surprise as he picked you up and made his way towards your bedroom. “I’ve got something else I’d like to unwrap first.”

Bucky Barnes had grown up in a period when the average family could seldom afford nice things or much of anything at all. The Great Depression has resulted in the slogan ‘Make it do or Do without,” being ingrained into what memories he still had, and 'doing without' had become commonplace for the Barnes household.

That’s why every gadget and gizmo you added to your household left him in awe. For much of his life, including the decades he spent as a weapon for Hydra, he hadn’t been allowed to call anything his own; he was still getting used to living so plentifully, both in love and in life. But now, he could barely move and he thought it had all been taken away from him.

The attack was supposed to have been contained, at least three miles away from the apartment. Anything less, and he would have made you visit your family upstate instead of just suggesting it. By the time Sam had told him that there’d been some confirmed damage within a block of the apartment, Bucky was already on his way home. He couldn’t think of anything but the worse: you trapped in a collapsing apartment building or pulling up to find no building there at all.

He felt his lungs fill with air again as he pulled up to your building, completely intact regardless of the severe damage less than a five-minute walk away. It felt like both seconds and hours between when he parked his outside and unlocked the front door.

“He doesn’t have his phone on him, mom. How am I supposed to…” you trailed off from your call as he walked into the living room, turning your head away from the Breaking News report you’d been glued to for the last hour. “Wait, I’ll call you back. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll call you back.” Your eyes never left his as he walked over to you, hanging up the phone with worry in your eyes. “Buck, are you oka-”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he pulled you off of the couch and into his arms. His grip was less reserved than he usually kept, but he made sure not to hurt you, eager to keep you in his arms, where he knew you were safe. A single tear fell from the corner of his eyes as he realized the real possibility that he could have lost you if you lived even 5 minutes closer to the attack. You stayed like that for a while, gathered tightly in his arms as you both settled onto the floor You didn’t push him to verbalize his fear; you already understood it. And it took this occurrence for him to realize he never wanted to experience this feeling again.

Bucky was quiet for the rest of the evening, and while it worried you, his fear had been evident enough not to require questioning. The city-wide cleanup had lasted all hours of the night; for the first time in all the years you had lived in the city, the sounds of the whirring of vehicles clearing debris off the street had been too close to ignore. The sun was rising before a single word was said between you and Bucky, tangled together on the sofa as the first ray of light made itself known.

“You’ve spent so much time piecing this place together, doll.” His voice was raspy. You know he hates when you see him cry, but his pain was always evident in his voice. “And it could have been all wiped away in seconds.” You let a heavy silence settle between you as you traced a pattern into his shoulder. He couldn’t bear to say it, but you knew what he meant: You could have been gone within seconds. “I just… I don’t ever want to feel like this again.”

You’d both gone through so much to make your relationship work. Nearly normal was as close as you would ever attain to being an average couple. The distance, the days without contact, and the ever-present fear that anything could pull you away from one another was something that had taken time to work through.

You looked around the living room and saw the place you had built together. There were photos and books scattered on any flat surface, a leftover mug half-filled with cold tea, and a record left out on the phonograph. The apartment looked like what love felt like; a messy combination of everything you and Bucky. But this apartment could not contain everything that ‘home’ was; only Bucky could do that.

The words fell from your mouth before you could restrain them. “Maybe we should move.”

Your eyes found each other, and you both sat in silence, though it felt lighter, invigorated with the new proposition.

Before he even responded, you could see tension dissolve from his shoulders. “Where do you want to move?”

You hadn’t thought that far ahead, only being able to provide him with a shrug. “I don’t know… maybe upstate, maybe somewhere else.”

“Your mom would like you being Upstate.”

“My mom would love us living next door too, but I don’t see that in the cards anytime soon.” You got a ghost of a smile for that.

“We could probably afford a house if we moved out there,” he said as he moved his lips to meet your forehead.

“Buck, I’d move anywhere with you. As long as we have each other, then we have all we need to rebuild this place.”

He pressed soft kisses to the crown of your head, and you swore you felt his chest flutter. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna look for some places, bigger ones too.” He tilted your head up to find your eyes, and you were sure that all of the love you carried for each other was incredibly visible at that moment. “You have made this apartment something worth coming home to. Now let me give you a house to make a home.” Your skin tingled with adoration as you pulled him as close as possible, burying your face into his neck.

You didn’t want to let go. You wanted to lay in this room, in this bed, and in this moment until the end of time, but you knew that something bigger and better was on the horizon for you and Bucky.

“All I heard is that you’re buying me a house.” His laugh was music to your ears.