#I’ve talked about it irl and in many projects

[transannabeth]

*

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[veranavera]

PSA: most trans people on hormones don’t pass after a year. I think the prevalence of “passing at 11 months!!!” type stories has given a lot of people the impression that somewhere around there is when people start to look like what they want. And like yeah, some people do, and fucking great for them, but you don’t see nearly as many people talking about how they don’t pass at that point because a) people share those things online less often and b) those posts get less traction because they’re heavier

Me? I passed for the first time at 7 months. I passed for the second time at 19 months. That fucking sucked. I felt like I had been given exactly what I wanted and watched it get taken away from me, and the idea that I should be passing more regularly in the months following really ate away at me and made me feel like I “failed” in my transition - I legit thought that I would never pass

It certainly didn’t help that, in addition to overwhelmingly seeing narratives online of passing early in one’s transition, every piece of medical information that was presented to me said that most changes would happen over the first two years. Maybe I was deluding myself, but baby trans me thought “oh that means I have two years to transition or else I fail because hormones won’t do anything past that”. And that ate away at me more than the not passing, cause I felt like I was “missing my chance” at having the body I wanted

And boy was I wrong, in the last year (my third year on hormones), I feel like I’ve seen more changes than I saw in my first year. My boobs are filling themselves out, my body hair is getting even lighter, my skin is noticeably softer even though I stopped moisturizing/doing most of my previous skincare routine. Hell, even my hips and ass have gotten wider. And this was *all* during an era that the medical information I was presented with gave me the impression that any changes that did occur would be minor

To show you what I mean, compare one of my first trans-flag photos, taken at 11 months on e, verses a semi-recreation I did earlier today at 33 months on e (same clothes and roughly the same pose/lighting, different mountains)

Notice a difference? I sure do - and to prove to you that this happened in the third year, here's a similar photo of me in between these two at 23 months on e:

I’m usually not one for transition timelines, mainly because my whole project is kind of a transition timeline, and if you wanna look through and see more of what I'm taking about feel free to either scroll a few posts down on my blog, or check out my google drive with all the photos from my projects. The difference doesn't look *too* dramatic to me, but some people I know irl have expressed that it is

Regardless, the point I'm trying to make here is that my experience on hormones was *not* passing at one year - and that's the experience of the vast majority of people I know who've been on hormones. Puberty takes many years, and yeah, that can suck to hear when you're expecting it to take two, but trust me, it's a healthier mindset to think of yourself as continuously moving in the direction you want, rather than waiting to arrive at a particular destination

If you've started hormones in the last year, be sure to give your body the time it needs to make the changes you want - transitioning is a marathon, not a sprint

[desceros]

Re: ableism w/Symphony Donnie: Definitely some internalized ableism but I think that’s unfortunately due to not many people knowing what exactly neurodivergence looks like and how people with it processes things differently.

Like, honestly, my biggest gripe was the recording and even that, for the SPECIFIC context of this story and Donnie as a character, it makes sense. Does it make it right? No, but if Donnie never had to think about these things before, for him it’s the same as recording everything to protect his family. Just something he does.

Also, even though my heart broke with Reader’s at her realization, MULTIPLE times reader has said Donnie says what he means and even at the beginning with the “I like you” thing I was like, “Girl, I’m going to need you to define the relationship with him.”

And I think, with Leo, even when writer’s do write him as neurodivergent, what I’ve read always has him as the he better masker whether it’s explicitly said or not. Idk if Symphony Leo is neurodivergent or not but STILL, reader has picked up that he’s good with masking which usually comes off as charming or “easy breezy beautiful cover girl”.

Idk, maybe because I know a lot of people like Donnie irl but if anything I was more frustrated at the obvious miscommunication between both of them than him directly, because as reader said, she projected her feelings on to him when he’s been super direct with his intentions.

Basically, there are sometimes where I wish people would just realize that processing the same thing between two people doesn’t always look the same and that one isn’t necessarily bad.

well-said, anon-chan!

edit: this got SPOILER!! HEAVY!! for chap. 22 and also soooo long so i'm going to tuck it under a cut. but here's some meta on symphony to explore this a bit since it's something that's very important to me and also... pretty critical to the fic itself! i don't typically like explaining myself outside of the text and letting the fic itself speak but. hm. i suppose i shall let it slide for today!

as you all have hopefully noticed by now, as an author, i like to be. hm. more subtle with things. i prefer to tuck things away versus having things be blatant in the text. and this is kind of coming back to bite me a little with donnie and his neurodivergence, i suspect.

i've tried pretty hard to make it contextually obvious that donnie's autistic. i've all but used the word. the way he behaves and communicates is heavily autism-coded.

meanwhile, the story is from viola-chan's pov, and she's neurotypical-coded (well. as much as i, an adhd-riddled autistic cat in a trenchcoat can manage).

as a result, she doesn't... pick up on donnie's problems with communication. not right away. but here, in this chapter, we see where she finally figures out what their issue has been the entire time:

…Oh. Oh god.  He really doesn’t get it. You’d known, of course, that Donnie wasn’t great with people. That he doesn’t communicate well. He doesn’t pick up on cues, or use them himself. No wonder he’s always so frank in his language, you realize. No wonder he’s so comforted by the firm rigidities of science. No wonder he looked so lost. No wonder he was so perplexed.

then, she puts that into practice by being specific and precise with how she talks. and we see that she now knows how to communicate with him in a way that works for both of them. and it works for them:

God; it’s like—a breath of fresh air, you think, staring at him in a little bit of awe. It’s so easy to talk to him, now that you’re just… letting it all out. Being honest. Frank. Infuriating that you hadn’t done this earlier. Feeling your irritation deflate, you nod. “…Okay. You just—need an explanation. Clarification.” “Yes, please,” Donnie gushes, fretting a little.

it's going to take some work. she still takes things he says personally and extrapolates past them (the whole "leo being an important person" thing). but she immediately nips it in the bud and is like. no. we're not doing that anymore. so, going forward, her relationship with donnie is one that's built on learning how to develop this open communication.

of course, it's not perfect, because they're human. donnie twisting her arm into still talking to him by calling in the favor is shitty behavior. a desperate bid to keep someone close that, for some reason, he can't imagine being without. not cool. the recordings of them having sex were shitty behavior to us, people who Know Better. but when violist-chan said 'hey, that's not cool, don't do that' and donnie was given a reason why not to, he just says ok. he might not understand ("but i record everything"). but he acknowledges that there's a concern there, and he agrees to be more conscientious in the future (having a consent sheet).

now then, let's look at leo's behavior in comparison.

donnie's biggest fault was that he didn't know to check in and make sure they were on the same page with everything. leo's fault, on the other hand, is purposeful, manipulative, and cruel. his open admission that he's been manipulating her from the beginning. manipulating donnie. lying to her.

to me, this is much, much worse than what donnie did. even knowing that at some point he starts developing friendly feelings towards her—and some of their interactions were indeed genuine!—i'm with violist-chan here. i'm not going to be digging through every one trying to parse out which ones were real and which ones were him being a dickhead. they're all tainted by the stain of betrayal.

also. because it has come up in a different ask that i will be publishing probably tomorrow bc of spoiler reasons: someone said something to the effect of 'why didn't he just not say anything? he could have taken that to his grave. how selfish'. i will remind you of a conversation between violist-chan and leo that happened in the previous chapter:

“Most of all, he’s honest,” you keep going, tangling your fingers together, staring down at the way they knot at your waist. “If he says something, I can take it at face value. There’s no hidden meaning. Nothing deeper. If he says something feels good, I know it feels good. If he says he likes something, he likes it. If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. If he asks for something, I don’t need to ask if he’s sure. He asks, so he’s sure. It—It’s a breath of fresh air. If I want to know what he’s thinking, really thinking, all I have to do is ask. And...”  [...] Leo’s still as stone for a few moments longer, looking at you like he’s trying to decide if he wants to say something; but finally he relaxes and comes back to you himself. Reaching out, he flicks your forehead, causing you to wince and rub at it.

i think... leo maybe wouldn't have ever said anything about it. but then you said this. how donnie matters to you because he's honest. there's nothing deeper with him. it's all at face value. you never have to worry about what he's doing, what he's thinking. and that i think... really messed with leo. because he knows he hasn't been honest with you. you can't trust what he says at face value. you do have to worry about what he's doing. and for you to say that that's the main thing you love about donnie—it messed with him. so, even though he knew it would jeapordize the relationship with you, even knowing he wanted to put this off for as long as he could, even though, even though, he decides he has to tell you. he has to come clean.

so even though it feels like shitty, selfish behavior... it's actually him trying to do right by her for a change. to conform to what she looks for in a relationship (both romantic and platonic). it just... didn't go over so well, predictably. most people don't like hearing that not one, but two of their most precious relationships were built on a foundation of misunderstandings or lies.

side note. i do headcanon leo as having adhd that primarily manifests itself as an inattentive form. i don't suspect it has much to do with his behavior here... save perhaps for some possible rsd being triggered when violist-chan is like 'ok actually go fuck yourself i'm out of here.' i don't find it particularly relevant to the discussion of ableism, in this context.

so anyway. long post aside. it's... interesting to me. to see people saying 'actually fuck both donnie and leo equally!!! bleh bleh bleh!!!!' i don't know that it's. hm. active ableism. i'm certainly not accusing anyone of the sort. but it is, at the very least, indicative to me that there are a lot of people who don't read into the text as deeply as perhaps i would like on certain character traits, if i had a magic wand to wave.

....and also perhaps just ableism, haha.

[crescencestudio]

Intertwine Post-Mortem

i lied. i don’t know if this qualifies as a post mortem. i don’t even know what a post mortem is LMFAOkxkak

but this is my post intertwine release “devlog” chock full of dev experiences, behind the scenes looks, and more for those who want to know more about the process of creating intertwine and thoughts i’ve had in reflection of release/experiencing otojam!

it’s long bc in usual crescence fashion, a bitch loves to talk. so buckle in gamers!

my thank u offering for all the downloads and reviews

Committing to OtoJam

for those who didn’t know, i entered otojam on a sort of Whim. because i am deep in the alaris trenches, i didn’t want to distract myself for too long from my main game, especially when there are people who have paid to support development. after talking to some friends, i thought otojam would actually be good for me. i’d been struggling with burnout and was in a creative rut. on top of that, i’d been doing this dev thing for almost 2 years with no full game to show for it (cries). even if otojam would take time away from alaris, perhaps it would give me what i needed—a kick of Motivation, a dash of Creativity, and some GD Fun.

so i decided about two days into otojam to officially enter it! And thus Intertwine made its appearance

the graphic that started it all

Oh, we are Otojamming

the intertwine editing team assembled and we got to work. because i already had a pretty solid idea of the game (it had been an idea i was sitting on for a while), there was less time spent on brainstorming and more time spent on writing and editing the script. for playtesters, i already have a group for alaris, and a couple of them kindly offered to playtest intertwine for otojam. i spontaneously decided to cast a va after some discussions with the editing team, and max joined. then, with One Week left of otojam, faefield productions entered the scene!

regarding development, the first month was largely dedicated to the script. weeks 1-2 were writing and fleshing out. weeks 3-4 were dedicated to editing and fine tuning. when my editors were reviewing the script, i was creating all the art assets. after the first month, i would say we had most of the gui, one cg, and the base sprite done!

at that time i felt pretty good. we were making good progress! i even was productive on alaris and irl work!

then the Second Month happened lmao.

i always forget the Horrors of fine tuning a build. i’m projecting right now, but i’d argue a lot of developers forget or underestimate the fine tuning/ quality testing stage. during the 4th-6th weeks of otojam, i wrapped up all the assets needed for the beta build. i finished the remaining cgs, all sprite expressions, and the rest of the gui. then i coded all the features into a beta version: learning how to create a messaging system for the first time, nailing the multiple iteration mechanic, cutting and editing the voice acting audio, and other Horrors that i’m sure i’ve since blacked out from my memory all happened during the sixth week of otojam. i was truly in the Coding Trenches.

BUT i got the build done and was able to send it out to playtesters for a week of quality testing. spoiler alert: the build wasn’t perfect and there were many bugs that needed fixing. the seventh week—the second to last week of otojam—was dedicated to this as well as my own tinkering so that the build felt completely Perfect (making sure expressions r exactly how i want them, transitions and audio fade perfectly, animations are perfect, that godforsaken clickable string to get to the next iterations that No One was clicking. all of the tiny aspects that make a game feel really polished). I am Not good with grinding. Suffice to say this was probably the most miserable week.

me every hour: DID U CLICK THE STRING

But once again WE MADE IT! Near the end of the seventh week, orpheo of faefield productions reached out to me and after gushing to each other about how big of a fan we are of one another, we spontaneously collaborated for a custom OST. Enter the eighth week, and we were ALL grinding. playtesters trying out a second build within only two days. editing team making fine tuning edits for the best script. coding. voiced lines that needed the slightest bit of tinkering.

Come 3PM on june 30th (otojam ends 6pm june 30th) and i’m coding the new music room, adding and double checking the new ost, and more. Two hours pass and it’s 5PM. We have less than an hour to submit. 5:30something comes by and with shaky hands, i release the game page and submit to otojam.

flashbacks to college 11:59 deadlines fr

On top of last week crunching, i was also dealing with extreme prerelease stress. i’ve never released a full game before. a demo, i can change. i can still tinker. this isn’t the final product. But a Full Game? My god. what if ppl hate it? or worse, what if ppl are so apathetic, they don’t even look at it and it gets sent to the void? after all, this year’s entries are stunning. they are Bold and Creative and Fun and intertwine is so….

Boring?

Some Lessons—Take Them or Leave Them

lesson 1. don’t listen to prerelease anxiety. that is the devil talking to you. if u have friends at least they will play and be nice to u. if u don’t have friends and no one plays, well it’s not the end of the world!!!! there’s always the next game. and u fckn know what? at least u Made that shit. keep ur head high, icon.

lesson 2. have fun and take care of yourself. the reception to intertwine has been amazing. i couldn’t be happier with it. but at the end of the day, the reason i look back on otojam fondly is because of the very dear friends i had to support me and have fun with me thru it all. life is meant to be enjoyed. it’s meant to be about memories, not metrics! never forget what’s truly important in life (cheesy, everyone boos me, but i’m right idgaf)

where would i be without them

lesson 3. plan. there is room for spontaneity and flexibility. after all, u can’t guarantee everything will go to plan. but with otojam being a crunch, plan as much as you can beforehand to not stress urself out during it. with intertwine, i had a somewhat outline and at least a pretty good idea of the concept, game mechanics, narrative design, mood board, etc. i had character concept art of van. if i had to do all of this during otojam we wouldn’t have made it i’m so srs. i also think when u plan as much as u can before, u have more room and time to have fun during! more polished build and more loving memories it’s a win win.

early concept art tbh i never thought it’d see the light of day

Typical Brand of Crescence Cheesiness

if you’ve made it this far ur a real one. all i have left to say is thank you for the support. while i was proud of intertwine (until the last week of otojam lol), i didn’t know what the response would be. to receive so many kind words has been unbelievably heartwarming.

as i said before, i’ve been in this game dev thing for 2 years with nothing to rly show for it. but during otojam, i could really feel the skills and experiences i’ve gained shine thru. i had a better handle on narrative design, coding things, integrating gui, and even more dev friends to talk to (thank u to all my friends who have played and messaged me U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LUV U). it was rewarding in a different sense compared to releasing a game, and i really am glad i did otojam to give me that perspective <3

a lot of things seemed to cockblock otojam this year (or so i’ve heard) between the sheer amount of entries (go us tho), the release of a lot of aaa otome games, and then twitter literally breaking less than 24 hours after otojam ended. even with all that, i’ve been so humbled and honored to see ppl enjoy intertwine. the comments i’ve gotten have honestly made me emotional, with many of you comparing it to games that i heavily admire and or expressing emotions i never would’ve dreamed to have been able to instill.

the otojam experience has been incredible, from the memories to the game to the reception. and i’m very grateful for all the people who made it that way! thank you for enjoying our silly little game made with our grubby little fingies. i hope you all continue to enjoy intertwine (and the other otojam entries from this year) and van!

i luv u all!

[juniperjellyfish]

For the ask game, how about 11 (Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what) and 30 (What piece of yours do you think is underrated)?

11 lately I’ve been watching YouTube while I draw, but when I do listen to music it’s either Ninjago stuff to get me in the mood for fanart, or just my liked playlist (which stretches from hard rock, to country, to 2000’s pop, to- you get it)

30 mwehehehheheheheheh

So first up is this one:

I love this one so much, I worked on it everyday for over a month, but no one ever talks about it. Ever. It’s glorious. I made for a project in my drawing 1 class two ish years ago

Next is this lava one. It’s so pleasing to look at but when I posted it no one really cared (rip)

Next is the drawing I did for the Sexyman Tournament. I LOVE how this one turned out, you can’t really see garm’s hands in the photo, but irl they look INSANE. This was also the first time I drew garmadon so I’m veeeeerrrrry proud of it. And Kai laughing at Nya in the background is great.

Next is this Kai headshot. I did headshots for all the ninja, but I liked how he turned out in this one. I think that post got like 3 notes tho

Yeah so that was more than one drawing, but I needed to talk about these drawings a lot

They needed more love

Thanks for the ask!!!

I have so many more drawings that I haven’t posted in the first place soooooo if anyone wants me to post em hmu

[hwere]

I’m not gonna lie there’s a lot of weird projection going on. No one said Carmy was an evil irredeemable person who doesn’t deserve support, we just don’t want Sydney to be a punching bag for dysfunction 😭. To question someone’s morals and compassion over a tv character is going too far. If you feel personally attacked by people being angry at Carmy then you need to log off and journal or something idk it’s just unnecessary. We are literally playing with our Barbie dolls and making them kiss it was never that serious. 👀

Long ass reply ahead, so sorry.

Addressing the Carmy in the room. TL;DR: Shred to pieces this widespread mentality that the art you like defines who you’re as a person and any “attack” on that is an attack on you personally.

Here’s the thing, Anon: just like there’s a lack of balance in our favorite fictional restaurant, there’s a lack of balance in fandom when it comes to relating to fiction and fictional characters. I’m not trying to be all mighty here, since I’m also very much guilty of projecting into fictional characters, but for your own sake you need to find balance between relating to fictional characters and realizing that when people talk about your favorite comfort character, they’re not talking about you—as an individual real person—but how they themselves relate to that specific character.

The same way people talking “shit” about a character you like can trigger a response in you—because of how much you see yourself in that character—there are people who felt triggered by the character’s actions itself because they have dealt IRL with someone like this. So, shit can be serious sometimes. I’m not about to dismiss that.

But you need to understand where fiction ends and you begin.

I see a lot of myself in Carmy.

Growing up with an alcoholic parent is fucking hard and, unfortunately for me, I inherited all of my father’s bad traits and propensity to addiction. Every single day I wake up and try to be a better person, but I’m still fucking things up all the time. I’ve ghosted so many people in the past. I’ve a difficult time maintaining long term relationships of any kind because my fucked up brain always win in convincing me that people hates me and they’re better off without me. I’ve hurt others in the exact same way I’ve been hurt before.

But I understand that love doesn’t conquer all, that people can be damaged beyond repair sometimes. I also understand that everyone has the right to walk away not only from me, but from anyone else who’s doing them more harm than good.

This doesn’t mean that I seriously want Carmy dead in a shallow ditch (that was a joke). This doesn’t mean that I want him to be alone (I don’t). This doesn’t mean that I believe he doesn’t deserve love and/or to be in a relationship until he’s fully healed (I don’t).

And I don’t think those who are criticizing Carmy’s actions want or believe any of this. Let’s take a deep breath.

If you scroll through my posts, you’re gonna see that I, personally, have barely addressed Carmy or even SydCarmy. My main criticism this season has been about the writing of every other character and their lack of development. I already expected Carmy’s regression this season and I found it interesting to see this new side of him, but although the show started with Carmy, it doesn’t end with him.

I wanted to see more—and I will eventually write about the things that I loved this season—but these beautiful moments doesn’t compensate all the time spent on cameos, new irrelevant white characters, Claire and all the fucking Faks.

A lot of time was wasted on bullshit and people are scrambling around here to make sense of an average season, much more preoccupied with whether or not SydCarmy will happen and losing the plot about how Storer pissed all over the show to assert his domain. Is giving me war flashback of Twin Peaks: The Return.

I still love this show and Carmy very much, and I honestly hope the team gets their heads out of their asses and things get better in S04.

[spigosaur]

VERY new to the Hatchetfield-verse. NPMD was the first ever Starkid musical I’ve seen so I’m trying to learn about the rest of the series

Uhhh lemme see- Headcanons…

Richie having an Asuna body pillow makes me think he’d quote the SAO abridged series. “Take the worst thing you can think of and multiply that by cancer” is something Peter and Ruth hear a lot

Ruth is actually well liked in the theatre program. The actors appreciate all she does and invite her to cast parties. Only reason she’s never gone is cause she thinks it’s some kind of prank (projecting as a former theatre kid—)

Stephanie would be into fanfiction culture. She just has the vibes/pos

Grace described Judas’ betrayal to Ruth and Stephanie once and they described it as “Toxic Yaoi”. She doesn’t tell them Bible lore anymore—

Heyoh!

I'm also kinda new to the fandom. I've watched tgwdlm and Black Friday a few years ago, but I didn't find out about nmt and never interacted with the fandom before npmd. But either way, welcome to hatchetfield and thanks for sending your headcanons!

I don't know if that's what you're referring to but in the show Richie only mentions his body pillows of Rei and Asuka (from Neon Genesis Evangelion) but I don't think that invalidates your hc at all! That obnoxious little disaster of a boy is constantly making references to the weebiest shit and when people don't understand him he calls them uncultured. (Ruth and Pete understand so many anime references because of him without ever having seen any of the media they're from)

Your Ruth hc makes me sad because it makes me think that she's been pranked in that way before and now she doesn't trust anyone who "pretends" to like her anymore :c

Steph I 100% agree with. She has that certain something, the alt style, she's totally a fandom girl. Although most people, even among her friends, don't know that about her. She probably has a tumblr nobody knows about where she yells about her obsessions but irl she never shows that side of herself until she starts hanging out with the nerdy prudes. Seeing them shamelessly gushing over their interests encourages her to let out her inner nerd too. When she eventually starts sharing her fanfics with the others, they're very supportive.

I don't think Grace would know what "toxic yaoi" means so now I'm imagining her being quite happy that her friends reacted so positively to a bible story just for her to look up what that means and. Yes I see why she wouldn't talk to them about bible lore anymore...

[georgeharrisonsmiling]

(From the Paul fans are insecure anon) You are right I don’t mean all Paul fans are insecure I just meant like. Specifically on tumblr and Reddit Paul fans seem to be really unsure of themselves and their fav (which I think is partially because compared to the others he has a relatively “clean” record, but only because so much time was spent scrutinizing the others so it feels like sort of this dangerous secret to acknowledge Paul wasn’t perfect, like maybe some sort of house of cards will fall or whatever). Like I know many Paul fans IRL who are great and stuff most of my family except my dad is Paul fans and they all always bring up great points and nuance to the convo but in online spaces that just doesn’t exist, if that makes sense.

Like people I know who are avid John fans don’t seem to harass as much in my experience because a lot of them have already been confronted by and been forced to reconcile the flaws John had. Or even eight Ringo Hell, when I go onto beatles related reddits half the posts about ringo will be about how he almost killed Barbara (rightfully so). So like. It’s not that I think Paul fans are delusional or something I just think a lot of them genuinely haven’t been forced to confront Paul’s flaws so when they do see them they get defensive.

But that’s just me psychoanalysis from tumblr and Reddit like again I don’t think all Paul fans are like that in fact most Paul fans IRL are just fine

(Although I will also bring up a gripe that like, when you disparage Paul in my experience I’ve always been forced by others to recognize his importance whereas other Beatles members aren’t treated this way. Like if I was posting about a Eleanor rigby no one would tell me to acknowledge Tomorrow Never Knows, or if they did it would exclusively be to acknowlebe what Paul contributed)

I've not ventured to Beatles reddit yet 😅.

Besides those types of fans, Paul POV is also very interesting to discuss because he was spiraling down hard too during those last years. I actually think that the clash between Paul and George in the 'Get Back' sessions was so evident because they were the only ones taking the project seriously while Ringo was following the flow and John was pretty absent for a while. There are many moments where they were the only ones talking.

Not wanting to talk about Paul's defects cuts an important part of the Beatles story, Paul being controlling didn't break up the Beatles but it was one of the reasons why the other didn't want to have his father in law as a manager. Him and John having double standards for composition credit is one of the reasons why George didn't work with them after. Just like George's cheating habits or John's drug usage are quite relevant for their mood during the 'get back' . Etc.

[gasping-ghostzes]

THE MARVELS

**Slight spoilers review**

I’ve seen many people say that the movie was either bad, or not worth seeing in cinemas, which I’ll admit- I was hesitant to actually watch it in cinemas because of what many people were saying. BUT, I finally watched yesterday night and Yknow what? Fuck what other people say. I’ve been THEE most insane fanatic about Kamala, Carol and Monica since first ever reading the ms marvel (Kamala) comics. I know some people say that Kamala is cringe and childish, but she’s literally a teenage girl who idolises a superhero, I’m literally her in every way. Watching a live action movie where Kamala gets to meet her hero in person meant literally everything to me! Kamala is SO me! I’m SO her! And to be fair, if I met my hero/idol irl I’d be fan furling so hard core!

I’d also just like to mention the significance of Kamala being in this movie and being able to go on the mission with carol and Monica. Not only as her being a hero, but also as a fan girl. It’s clear she idolises captain marvel, to the point where Carol has become this symbol of hope and resilience. However, because Kamala sees captain marvel as someone perfect, and someone incapable of harming others, she unintentionally creates a disconnect from Carol being a real person. Which many people do, but the only problem with Kamala doing this, is that now Kamala has built her entire hero persona around being the the exact same as how she perceives captain marvel to be (without even meeting her at this point)

The scene where the marvels arrive to the first planet where Dar-Benn steals the planets air from the planet, was definitely the first time that Kamala likely has to become a bit more aware of how her perceptions of Carol are very much based on a fake persona that Kamala created in her head. This is definitely not me saying that Carol is fake, but simply saying that Kamala’s preconceived assumptions and perceptions on who Carol is irl, are being tested. Kamala built her entire life around being similar to captain marvel, so to see that she was slightly wrong about who Captain Marvel is would be very humbling and eye opening to Kamala.

Kamala of course, later apologises (twice I believe) for coming off as too strong because of how deeply the persona of Captain Marvel has affected her.

In future MCU projects with Kamala, I seriously hope she has a well written character arc, because so far with the 2 projects she’s been in, it’s clear that Kamala can become a very well developed character in future projects. Along with the fact that Iman Vellani absolutely BODIES this character both on and off screen, means even more to me. Knowing that Iman is also a Ms marvel and in general MCU/Marvel fan, I seriously wish her an amazing career and I just know, that as a Kamala Stan, the Kamala Khan’s character will be handled with care and love that another Kamala Stan will be able to bring to on screen!

ALSO! Can someone please mention the choreography in the fight scenes too?! I feel like I haven’t seen anyone talk about how amazing the fight scenes were and how they were an explicit representation of how the Marvels relationship and teamwork is able to develop throughout the movie.

[focusontheheart]

Meet the Team - Flynn

You can also find @farthaz on: Twitter @ farthaz

I’ve been playing Horizon since 2020 when I bought HZD, and fell in love with the franchise. But just recently I joined the fandom during the first months of 2023 looking for a way to express my love for the games. My coding career started as a hobby in 2019 and I focus more on data analysis. When I saw this project I decided to test and use my skills to create something for one of my favorite games and its incredible fandom.

See the Q&A with Flynn under the cut!

What is something you’ve always wanted to create for fandom? 

I always wanted to create something inclusive and that helps bring people together. This is the perfect way!

What are some of your favorite tropes to write, draw, or read?

I like to write and read all kinds of ships… And admire people’s drawings lol.

What is an unexpected thing or fun fact about you?

Sometimes people IRL mistake me for a boy and lose their shit when I talk to them with my sweet girly voice lol

What has been your favorite thing about working on this project so far?

Getting to know so many talented folks from different countries and paths of life!

[flanneryculp]

why flan is a lesbian (and why it’s important)

when i first read tb8, i thought, “well, i think flan is a lesbian, but maybe that’s just projection,” and then i went online and saw that everyone else had come to the same conclusion. now i actually do think theres quite a bit of canon evidence pointing to her being gay. this post puts it really really well :)

spoilers below cut

for one thing can we talk about how differently flan talks about female characters from male characters in general? if you look at how she describes the photograph in the beginning it’s obvious. flantasha nation for life but how many times has flan gone on about jennifer rose milton being beautiful or v____ looking pretty? not even adam gets description to this extent.

also, transvioletbaudelaire made a really good point about flan’s reaction to this. it was a big tonal shift despite the paragraph having nothing to do with what was going on. flan was more affected by a few sentences about being gay than the rest of ron’s speech about adam being missing……

-

something i’ve recently noticed is that most of natasha’s idols are queer. marlene dietrich had the first on-screen kiss between two women ever, as well as being openly into women irl. bette davis and dorothy parker were historically popular within gay communities, and anais nin wrote about wlw sex in her diary. this is coming from the book that foreshadowed douglas’s sexuality by having him be associated w/ gay artists!!!!

even natasha’s very first and last mentions are associated with gayness. her first mention being how she watched a fellini movie with flan (context says it’s la dolce vita, which has an explicitly gay plotline), and of course, dr. tert explicitly stating that a version of natasha is a lesbian (!!) ofc dr. tert isn’t the most reliable source, but the point is that after you just finished the book, the final thought youre meant to have about natasha is that she’s gay!!!

another one of the most important scenes is halloween, which literally opens with natasha pinning flan to her bed. then, natasha yells at flan to break up with gabriel and get over adam. natasha empathizes in her speech that flan isn’t being true to herself by liking them. considering that flan is natasha and usually natasha has more awareness over what flan knows but can’t admit.....

and then they go upstairs and undress together.

flan notes:

they were constantly looking at each other’s bodies

flan feeling “liquid and naughty” when they did. even before putting on the dress, she feels powerful.

“[natasha] looked at me as i felt the sudden true flush of desire.” <- actual line from the book

later during the party, while flan and adam are having sex, flan spends half the paragraph thinking about how gorgeous she/natasha is. flan really does not miss an opportunity to talk about natasha’s beauty throughout the book lmao

-

another thing flan does is describe natasha using romantic metaphors.

like she literally associates natasha’s gum with a kiss and then admits to using pathetic fallacy.

flan does it a lot throughout the book.

and not just that. natasha also plays the role of a boyfriend in flan’s life, and flan is always happier to be with natasha than with gabriel or adam.

and when adam flakes on his date with flan, natasha literally takes her out to the movies.

speaking of movies, the day flan was supposed to go to the movies as a date with gabriel is the first day that she helps douglas hide his homosexuality. most of flan’s friends’ issues mirror flan’s own, as shown in the halloween party. callous breakups, jealousy, etc. struggling with being gay in a homophobic society is a major theme in the book with characters like douglas and ron, and it would make sense for flan to experience it, too, even if she doesn’t realize.

a lot of gabriel and flan’s relationship reads to me as a metaphor for comphet. not only does flan not like him, but she talks about how things are supposed to be.

(also, on the previous page, flan compares kissing gabriel to opening an old carton of milk. she isn’t thrilled lol)

-

even though flan’s feelings for adam are more intense than the ones for gabriel, they’re also forced to a certain extent.

heres the first time she talks about adam:

natasha is shocked. if flan truly loved adam, wouldnt she love him fully? if she did, natasha’s inital reaction would be supportive, but instead she just makes fun of him. flan never even admits why she likes adam, not even to herself. flan doesn’t even think that she and adam will work out, judging by her hesitancy. over and over, natasha tells flan that adam is a jerk and to get over him.

flan tries very hard to convince herself that she likes adam, and it works. she’s telling everyone (and herself) that she loves adam while also avoiding him and not having any reason to love him, other than the superficial.

“he is the only appropriate person for me to like”

natasha didn’t find out gabriel’s crush on flan until september 21st, over 60 pages later. lily might have known, but who was natasha thinking about???

also, flan and adam are also cast as husband and wife in the play. they are literally playing the parts that were given to them!!

-

even though flan has gotten herself in deep, there have been multiple times where flan almost does get over adam! she mentions feeling bored of him, avoiding him, just not caring until he always ropes her back in at the last minute. she’s put her self-worth in his opinion of her, and doesn’t give up until the very end.

from the beginning, adam was always more of a symbol than a person. he represents men as a whole, or the idea of them. flan literally falls in love with an image of a man (the statue of david) rather than an actual one, and projects that image onto adam. kate and flan talk about how they would be better off without all the adams.

-

all her life, flan has been fed these societal expectations on what kind of relationships she should have and who she should be. she clings onto those expectations, even when she never loved adam to begin with. it takes her until halloween to accept that whether he likes her or not doesn’t matter -- he’s a jerk. in general flan’s arc is about how societal pressures, to act a certain way, look a certain way, love a certain way, etc etc can mess with their own self perception and maybe cause them to kill someone.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, I can’t with Hobi. He’s just so….ugh. The way I feel for him is how you feel for Jimin. I have so much to say about him and so many emotions but I can’t articulate anything. He’s just so….perfect doesn’t begin to start describing him. Sorry for the ramble but I figured you would know how I feel.

*

Ask 2:

Do you ever go like "wow Jung Hoseok"?, because right now I'm like "wow Jung Hoseok", what an artist he is. I'm annoying everyone IRL to come and listen and look at him. What a musician and what a dancer.

*

Ask 3:

This album has put me over the moooooooooooooooooon!!!!!! JUNG FUCKING HOSEOK. I’d fuck him if I could! Marry him! Birth his offspring! Give him bjs for breakfast, pussy for lunch, my asshole for dinner. He can have me BPP! He can have meeeeeeeee

***

Anon in ask 3…. girl, are you okay?

Let’s not jump the gun. For all you know, he’s vegetarian.

I mean, I get it (lol), but let’s come back down to earth for a sec.

Anon in ask 1, it’s funny you say that because Hoseok actually fucks me up more than Jimin does. I almost never really talk about Hobi because I’m literally unable to. Just like you. And I think everyone who really sees what he is, ends up just as speechless.

Anon in ask 2, my standout songs from the album so far are What If (remix), I wonder, I Don’t Know (that French monologue intro and Yunjin’s vocals plus Hobi’s sickening flow elevate this song into pure magic), and of course Neuron. It’s the anthemic homage to his dance roots that we knew was coming, and it’s filled with so many heart-tugging references, but still it hits hard with every listen.

Hobi has done so well putting this album together, especially given he did it all before he enlisted last year. His work ethic, music taste, and artistic vision, impress me every time. It’s always worth the wait when it comes to anything Hobi works on.

Between this release, the documentary, the Enhypen Seeb remix, and BND tracklist release, I’ve got my hands and ears full in between handling a full work load over the next couple days so I might be IA. I hope y’all can enjoy this project at your own pace to your heart’s content (especially you Anon in ask 3).

[ri-kisfmine]

INTRO: HI GUYS SO I JUST JOINED TUMBLR IK IVE HEARD IT LIKE EVERYWHERE BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE THIS APP A TRY! So LET ME START OFF BY INTRODUCING MYSELF TO YALL!

(edit: so for some reason there’s some missing errors I’m too lazy to go back and edit it again so SUCKS TO SUCK-)

ANYWHOO-

My name is caywee or Izumi idc what y’all can call me by. I EASILY GET DISTRACTED A LOT like no joke 😞. AND I LOVE TO DRAW AND PAINT IM ARTISTIC but not as Bob Ross But HES COOL THO!

BUT UMM- im into Hazbin Hotel as you can see I have it in the top of the post HEHEHE- I love Lucifer cuz he reminds me of my close friend Max or known as PJ :3.

ALSO IM INTO #kpop IKR ITS SO RANDOM BUT ITS TOTALLY NOT. I’ve been a fan or i should say a engene since 2.14.22 GUYS STREAM IDLE THEIR 7TH MINI ALBUM YIPPIE ALSO MY BIAS IS MINNIE <3. I’m a multi-stan so ITS GONNA BE ALOT OF ME NAMING A LOT OF GROUPS IM INTO SO I’LL UPDATE THAT IN A BIT.

YES IM INTO MUSICALS FOR EXAMPLE HAMILTON, MEAN GIRLS, HEATHERS <3

MOVING ON (SKSKSKSK JAKE TEEHEE-)

I WILL MOSTLY BE TALKING ABOUT APHMAU, FUNNEH ANF FLAMINGO CUZ THEIR MY BEST YOUTUBERS SO DONT BLAME MY FAVORITE PPLS!

BY THE WAY

SOON IM GOING TO MAKE MY ON PROJECT WITH MY POOKIES HELP OF @r1ch1e-l1psh1tz & PJ to work with me in the future ^^

It’s called Be Mine there will be more series coming soon like

• Forever Pathway

• RHS(base irl depending-)

• Your Mine

• Moonlight Paradise

•Forever Yours

• Be Mine: Before I go < depending how the series will go on this may be the last

My friends inspired me sm including aphmau & funneh to think there’s so many opportunities I can do with my life to make my own. BTW do not copy any people series or try to do something stupid this won’t work out for you. There’s got to be some background information on how what your series is going to be about.

I do play minecraft,Roblox with my friends depending their not busy but in December I’m gonna be with my friend PJ since he’s more on VRchat than me hehe.

For some reason I’m not on here as much it’s bc I’m SUPER BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND SKETCHING 😞🙏🏼 YES BEING AN ARTIST SUCKS-

[jewishbarbies]

https://www.tumblr.com/jewishbarbies/760744047881125888?source=share

NO LITERALLY. And not to make this about pan people too, but they LITERALLY DO THE SAME SHIT WITH PANSEXUALITY.

Like why do people think it’s not okay for bi/pan people to not be bi/pan? All I see on the internet is people saying that we’re more likely to cheat… bitch, what?

I’ve also heard from some lesbians/gays that they’re afraid of their partner cheating on them or leaving them for a man/girl.

queer people will project their dumbest insecurities onto bi & pan people and pretend it’s our fault. the disc horse around whether or not you should be bi instead of pan because they think being bi is transphobic literally made me lose brain cells.

queer people infantilize pan people to a certain extent with that, acting like being pan is the most inclusive thing possible so therefore you’re this super good and wholesome person who can do no wrong because you’re attracted to everyone. meanwhile bi people are these transphobic cheaters and bi women are just pretending to be queer for brownie points while ‘always ending up with men’, but we’re not gonna talk about how mean and exclusionary lesbians are to bi women noooo. like, why would i want to date a woman that clearly thinks so horrible of me bc of my sexuality? or doesn’t even believe my sexuality? bi women have a hard time finding queer women to date because of the bigotry in the modern queer community, not because we have some internalized homophobia.

like if they actually TALKED to us about our own sexualities instead of just making assumptions based on literally nothing, they’d understand the difference and why both sexualities need to exist, and one is not more valid than the other. typically gender is a part of attraction for bi people and it’s not for pan people. it’s not hard to understand and neither sexuality is bigoted in anyway. yeah, there are bad people of every sexual orientation and gender identity (hence this conversation), but that doesn’t mean there’s an inherently more bigoted one. it all sounds like such a duh statement to me but these people act like you’re moses bringing down the stone tablets when you explain it??

also the jaded lesbian to radfem pipeline is so real and it’s honestly getting unnerving just how many queer women end up there and start attacking pan & bi women for their sexuality. it’s the whole “men are your natural predators so its unnatural for you to date them, it’s because it’s ingrained in you and not real!” bullshit. like i feel for you man, but you’re a fucking idiot. and this is the dating pool that bi & pan women have to weed through online and irl to try and find a queer woman to date. but sure, we’re just choosing men over women because we’re faking being queer. yeah, that’s it. 🥴

[authoratmidnight]

So, I’ve noticed, a lot, that ppl comment about how ‘demons didn’t have the concept of friends before Iruma’.

Except, that’s *clearly* not true, if only because, for a civilized race you would have to have the concept of ‘person I like/get along with/enjoy spending time with’ cause like. That’s kind of the first step to making babies and not going extinct lol You kind of need to get along with people to fuck to make and raise kids(since the other option is that everyone is produced by rape which is uh, really dark and clearly not the case). And like, just looking at adults like, Balam and Kalego, or Dali and Suzie, it’s pretty clear that they DO in fact understand the concept of getting along with each other, or having a person that you enjoy spending time with/getting along with.

It was the WORD “friends” that tripped up Azz and Clara and, well everyone else.

But then it gets confusing b/c also hear characters who either had not met Iruma or before they met Iruma, using the word friends(like Gaap talking about wanting to ‘make 100 friends’). So I did some digging and well. Ironically this is a case of stuff being lost in translation, much like Iruma using the word ‘friends’ to Azz and Clara.

See. In Japanese the word Iruma used was 友達 (tomodachi). Which does indeed mean ‘friend’, which is the one we see other characters tripping over and saying slowly as if they’ve never heard it before. Meanwhile, the word we see/hear other characters using is 仲間 (nakama)-when Gaap was taking about making ‘100 friends’ he used the word nakama, お仲間100). Which ALSO is frequently translated as “friend”. Except, it doesn’t mean that, not always.

From doing some digging, ‘nakama’ has a different connotation than ‘tomodachi’. Nakama (as best as my research can find) is someone with a shared goal or someone you do something with. You can be a nakama without being a friend.

For example, your coworker could be a 仲間, you are doing things together and, depending on the job, may have the same goal (an example I saw used was buddy cop movies/shows), but you don’t necessarily have to be *friends* with that person.

I worked together on group projects with classmates in college, that would make them my nakama. But I wouldn’t really have considered them friends, they were not my tomodachi.

They’re similar words but with different meanings. There is for sure an overlap between the two no doubt, if you made a venn diagram with nakama on one side and tomodachi on the other they would overlap, but they wouldn’t be a circle.

友達 is 'friend,' with many of the ambiguities that accompany the English word 'friend.' People wonder what true friendship is (真の友情), the line between just a friend and a bff (友達と親友) or the line between the friendzone and boyfriend/girlfriend (お友達と恋人).

仲間 is a relationship to people in the same group that has a shared goal or do something together. You can be 仲間 with a person who isn't a friend. 仲間 is often defined by common enemies and/or outsiders.

Source [X]

But, since both of these words are often translated as “friends” it lends to, a LOT of confusion (in this instance, allies or companions would as a better translation for 仲間, to help remove some confusion). It doesn’t help that ‘friends’ is itself, a fairly vague word and can mean anything from ‘this person whom i like/get along with’ to ‘this person that i’ve known for years and trust with my life’.

Also like,just cause one does not have the word for something, doesn’t meant hat they don’t have/understand the concept of it. It happens all the time irl where one language has a word for a specific thing, while another language does not but still understand the concept of it. Which is clearly what’s happening here. They don’t know the word ‘tomodachi’, but they DO understand the concept to a degree and know what a ‘nakama’ is.

It’s quite entertaining to me that, much like how ‘tomodachi’ is lost in translation between Iruma and his friends, the tomodachi/nakama distinction is lost in translation from Japanese to English.

And then Nishi decided to really make it confusing by throwing in 親友 (shinyu) and making translators scream lmao.

edit to add: ALSO, we DO have to r3emember that the two people he first explained the concept of ‘tomodachi’ to were Clara and Azz, who definitely did not have any tomodachi or nakama before Iruma so it makes sense that would be very confused by what he was explaining.