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#I'M SORRY ME BEING SICK AND CRYING IS UNBEARABLE
spaceoutdreamer · 2 years
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Looking for the nicest way to tell someone to fuck off
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daintyys · 10 months
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all i wanted was you
fem!reader x touchy bestfriend!james potter, 500 words
modern/nonmagical au. pls send james reqs!! also this isnt proofread i needed to post it urgently. ps happy thanksgiving
"Have you eaten yet?" James asked, leaning in the doorway staring at you. Your cramps were unbearable, and the only way you could get any sort of comfort was curling in a ball on the bedroom floor. You mumbled a response, which he didn't hear. He made his way over to you, and sat on the floor next to you.
"Your period?" He questioned, rubbing your arm. You nodded and closed your eyes. His touch was so comforting. "I'm sorry, love." James whispered, helping you sit up.
You groaned, and wrapped your arms around your stomach. "I want to stay on the floor, James." He shook his head and took your hand, standing you up. "You need to eat, come here." He said, putting his hand firmly on your lower back.
He took you to the kitchen of your flat and you sat at the table. You tried not to cry as your cramping became worse. You laid your head on the table and brought your knees to your chest, trying to relieve pressure in your abdomen. "I know it hurts but you need to eat." Your best friend said as he put a bowl of soup in front of you. He sat beside you and adjusted his glasses so he could see you better.
You ate slowly, and once you were done, your cramps hadn't gotten much better. "Feel any better, Y/N?" James questioned, intertwining your fingers with his. You shook your head. "Nothings working, Jamie." You groaned. Standing, you made your way back to your bedroom and flopped on your bed. James followed, and crawled into bed with you.
He laid in between your legs with his head on your chest, keeping you warm. You sighed, his warmth was helping with your cramping. "Feels good, doesn't it, love?" He cooed, twirling your hair in his fingers. You nodded and smiled as you traced his spine. He laughed appreciatively and looked up at you.
"You're beautiful, y'know." James flattered.
You blushed, and kissed his forehead gently. "Most would say that was flirting with me, James." You hummed.
"It was." James crooned, moving his hands under your back to hug you closer. You hummed in approval and ran your fingers through his hair. "'M sorry you feel so sick, baby." He sighed. "I feel better now that you're taking care of me." You admitted. James squirmed a little, adjusting his position to look up at you again.
"A kiss would take all the pain away, Y/N." He grinned, and his glasses were lopsided on his face. You nodded, and he cupped your jaw in his hands, gently kissing you.
He pulled away, face burning red.
"You're right, that did help a lot." You smiled at him. James giggled nervously , and hid his embarrassed face in your chest. "Don't be embarrassed," You whispered. "I like you too."
You felt him laugh against your chest, and you soon found your bodies intertwined, being each other's one sense of complete comfort.
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simplyalicee · 1 year
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" Farewell, Frank "
Corpse Puppet AU by @sketchquill
Idea: Frank and Eddie have been happily married for years with nothing separating them. That was, until Frank suddenly became very ill. Doctors all over town have tried everything from different medicines to different treatments, but alas, nothing has worked. So little time is left for Frank, but Eddie isn't ready to say goodbye. Unfortunately, there's no choice.
Reminders: I will warn you now, this fic will have heavy topics such as death and illness. There is very little comfort. While canon to the Corpse Puppet AU, I am still warning you as this can be triggering to some people. Read with caution!!
I am still not associated with Clown or any of his friends, nor their work. This is purely for fun and entertainment purposes. Nothing in here belongs to me except the writing itself.
Now suffer >:))
♡--------------♡
This. Can not be happening.
Everything was going so well.
Why did it have to fall apart so soon?
Eddie stood outside of Frank's room, pacing around in circles as the poor man was overthinking. He couldn't help it. His husband was so sick, they could barely walk. It killed Eddie inside, knowing that there was nothing he could do for them. That's what hurt the most. He couldn't do anything.
A doctor steps out of the room with a saddened look. Upon entering, Eddie perked up, but quickly frowned upon seeing the doctor's expression.
"So, how is he?"
They stood silent.
"..Doc, how's my Frank?"
It looked as if they were trying to find the right words to break the unbearable news. Eddie couldn't stand it. He opened his mouth to speak, but the doc finally spoke up with sadness in their voice. This wasn't good.
"Mr. Dear, your husband hasn't been responding to the treatment."
"What..?"
No. No.. no no no. This can't be happening. Please tell him that this was not real.
The doctor sighed. They glanced over at the clipboard in their left arm.
"We've tried everything we know. Various medicines and treatments, but there's no significant improvement. Frank has only gotten worse."
...
Eddie's eyes began to flood with tears. He was on the verge of crying. The answer was obvious, but he couldn't help but ask.
"Is my Frank going to be okay..?"
...
Eddie's heart shattered in a million pieces when the doctor slowly shook their head.
"..I'm sorry, Mr. Dear, but they won't be making it."
Not a moment later, a quiet sob was heard from Eddie. He covered his face and broke down. He was losing his Frank, his husband. It didn't feel real, yet the pain was there. It was unbearable. How could anyone bear this much pain?
"Please, let me see them. Please.."
Eddie barely managed to get the words out in-between his sobs.
It would be cruel to deny someone to see their loved one.
The doc knew Frank's condition, but couldn't say no to Eddie. They allowed him in.
Eddie quietly walked in the room. He tried so hard to control his crying. He wiped away his tears as he strolled by Frank's bedside. He took a seat that was near the bed.
Being so close to a dying loved one felt like a blessing and a curse. To see them in their last moments, to later see them get buried. Eddie was not looking forward to.. burying his husband.
Just the thought of it brought him back to tears.
Frank slowly turned their gaze to Eddie. They were barely able to keep their eyes open. But they smiled. They smiled at Eddie. Frank was usually grumpy, but they smiled for him.
"Hey, Eddie.." They spoke in a hushed whisper. Eddie could tell that they were exhausted. Exhausted from death itself, exhausted from trying so many medicines and treatments.
"Hey, pumpkin.."
Frank quietly chuckled, a soft pink coloring their face. Their smile only grew.
"Heh, I told you to not call me that."
Eddie chuckled.
"But why? It's cute, just like you."
"Alright, Alright."
Frank playfully rolled their eyes, Eddie couldn't help but snicker.
Eddie glanced further at Eddie. His smile was short lived, as he slowly frowned in sadness. Was this really it? For them?
As if Frank was going to allow him to be sad, not in front of them.
They were so tired, but they mustered up the energy to raise their arm and gently place their hand on Eddie's cheek. Eddie's face turned a soft pink at the contact, but smiled.
He smiled. He placed his hand over on Frank's.
"Turn that frown upside down, dear. I'll be fine."
"But you're not."
Eddie's tears ran down his face like a waterfall. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to say goodbye.
"..Frank, sweetheart, you're-"
"I know."
Frank frowned a bit. For the first time, Eddie saw Frank tear up. A few tears rolled down their cheeks.
"I'm heartbroken, too. I don't want to leave you, either."
They stood silent for a moment.
"..As much as it sucks, at least I get to see your handsome face."
Eddie smiled slightly at the compliment. It made him happy, at least for that small bit.
"I love you, Frank."
"I love you too, Eddie."
...
They stood quiet for a little bit, just enjoying each other's company. It was nice.
It got harder for Frank to stay awake. As much as they didn't want to let go, Eddie knew they were tired. He allowed them to take their arm back. Frank let out a shaky sigh, closing their eyes for a moment.
"God, I'm so tired.." They mumbled. They felt breathless.
Eddie felt bad. As much as he wanted to spend more time with Frank, he didn't want to force them to stay awake. He stood up from the chair and knelt down next to the bedside. Eddie carefully brushed his fingers through Frank's dark hair. They quietly hummed with a small smile.
"Please, sweetheart. Get some rest. You deserve it."
Frank looked over at Eddie. They couldn't help but tear up.
"Will you.. be okay with me resting?"
Eddie slowly nodded.
"Of course.. you look so tired, it's worrying me."
Frank opened their mouth to speak, but Eddie continued to speak.
"Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. I just want you to get your much deserved rest."
...
"..Thank you, dear.."
Frank's voice became quiet.
They reached over and took Eddie's hand, gently squeezing it. Eddie reciprocated the action.
"I love you.. Eddie.."
"I love you too, Frank."
Eddie leaned in and gave a soft kiss on Frank's forehead. They smiled.
They slowly closed their eyes, letting out another shaky sigh.
Within a moment, Frank was out. They immediately fell asleep. The gentle grip they had on Eddie's hand went away, but he stood there. He kept their hand held, not wanting to let go. He never wanted to let go.
So, Eddie stayed by Frank's side. He made sure to never leave them.
He loved them.
Perhaps when Frank wakes up, they'll feel a little bit refreshed.
Eddie and Frank can see each other a little longer.
Maybe when Frank wakes up, they'll be all better, as if the sickness never happened. Eddie will be relieved and they'll live happily ever after.
If Frank wakes up, they'll maybe start accepting 'pumpkin' as their nickname.
...
. . .
But Frank never woke up.
They tried.
They tried so hard to fight the sickness.
But eventually, their body just couldn't do it.
...
"Hey, Frank.."
Eddie stood by near Frank's grave. Flowers surrounding it with cards and teddy bears. Eddie held a bouquet of flowers, purple and blue.
He knelt down, placing the bouquet of flowers upright on the grave. Tears flooded his eyes, but he held a smile.
"It's been a while since I've seen your face. I wish I could hold you, right now."
He stood quiet for a bit.
"..It's been hard without you, you know that? Wherever you are, I just hope you're resting in peace."
Eddie broke into a sob. He felt so lonely without his husband.
"I miss you so much, sweetheart.. Why'd you have to go?"
There was no one around to comfort him. Eddie was left alone with his own puddle of tears.
If Frank was there, they'd be comforting him.
..But that's the thing.
They weren't there, anymore.
♡--------------♡
I'm bawling my eyes out right now from writing this. If you read this and are crying like me, allow me to give you a hug 🫂
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i-am-a-l0st-gh0st · 5 months
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This one is inspired a bit by one of my ocs backstory but..
The reader is a transmasc person, who tries their best to hide it, trying to seem as if they were a cis man - mostly due to the overwhelming dysphoria they get. Sure, they got the top surgery but... Not the bottom one. The biggest issue was - they were having terrible periods, and I mean TERRIBLE - To the point they can't stand up from the bed, squirm in pain and vomit anytime they move. While they were able to hide it from lyney long enough, saying stuff like "I ate something bad" and other stupid excuses, lyney got clearly very worried and concerned as the same thing happened each month, even when the reader didn't seem to even eat anything close to bad. Now, the reader doesn't know how to avoid the truth, as they're crying from the immerse pain, unable to hide their misery from lyney any longer.
Boys don't cry- Lyney X transmasc!reader
I would say i'm sorry, if thought that it would change your mind. t/w- periods, vomit, headaches, cramps, dysphoria summary- As shown above
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You'd been together for almost 5 months and each month you'd managed to avoid telling Lyney you were trans but for how long? Avoiding it forever was out of the question, you couldn't keep getting you period and telling him you were sick.
The only thing you could concentrate on was the unbearable feeling of needing to be sick. If you stood up you might puke everywhere... And the cramps didn't make it any better... You clutched you stomach trying to make them go away... If only that worked... Your train of thought was lost as your boyfriend walked into the room.
"Dear... This happens every month... I know for a fact it's not food poisoning. Your my boyfriend... I need to know what's wrong with you."
*Boyfriend*. You loved being called that but for some reason it stung... Tears began to form in your eyes, emotions all over the place. Lyney was shocked to see you so emotional. He hugged you tightly, rubbing your hair, bringing you close. He wanted to help... But you couldn't tell him... He would think differently of you... He would see as what you were before you were a boy.
"I'm fine Lyney, just a little sick."
"A little sick? Sweetie you can't get out of bed. I need to know what's up with you."
Lyney was stubborn... Almost as stubborn as you, he wouldn't give up. Not until you were feeling better. The cramps slowly started to get worse, causing tears to well up in your eyes. You tried to turn away from Lyney hiding your face. In response he grabbed you chin forcing you to look at him.
"Mon amour... what's wrong." His face had lost its charm and had turned, not stone cold but almost there.
"Lyney... I...I.."
"Take your time sweetie."
You couldn't tell him, he would see you as girl. You worked so hard to build a life a male. It was all going to crumble now... You felt your cheeks heat up with the feeling of vomit... You quickly got up and ran to the bathroom pushing Lyney out of the way. Knuckles turned white as you gripped he toilet bowl waiting for it to happen.
"Sweetheart! What's wrong!" Lyneys voice had become increasingly worried.
You couldn't avoid the truth any longer... It was right in front of him. He'd have to find out sooner or later.
"Lyney... I'm trans..transgender. I.. I've only gotten top surgery not bottom. So I still get my... Period."
"So that was it? Honey I still love you. You know I don't see you as any less of a man. If anything I see you as more of one. What you go through sounds painful..." His voice had calmed down now. "But why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I was scared you'd leave me.. and this dysphoria gets really bad."
"Oh mon amour... I would never leave you... Now let me take care of you."
Lyney grabbed you hand leading you back into bed, he grabbed you a heat pack placing it on your stomach. He put a bucket close to your bed, just incase you needed it.
"Anything else?" You swear you couldn't love this man anymore.
"Cuddles?'
"Anything for you, my love."
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@pandragonsoul @atsukawolfcat @keeyisbored
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fluffnari · 2 years
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Hi hii I saw that requests are open and may I request some fluff with Xiao and Kazuha where they take care of their s/o when they’re feeling sick/stressed if that’s ok with you? ^^ (either headcanons or a short scenario like the “Rumor has it” is fine with me!)
Anyways thank youuu and have a good day! :D
Characters: Xiao | Kazuha | Wanderer Comfort | Fluff | Slight Angst Hope you enjoy! Thank you for requesting<3
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Something told him that morning something was wrong. To not let you go out on your commissions for the day. But he trusted you when you said, "I'm perfectly fine!"
It was a lie.
The sound of his name being called summons him to a scene he wishes to never see again. You laying on the ground with a group of Fatui members around you, laughing tauntingly at your frail state. Xiao knew for a fact that you normally would be able to handle yourself, this solidified his earlier thoughts.
"Xiao, I'm sorry." You apologize, voice sounded just as frail as you looked. "I didn't feel too well when you asked, but i thought..."
"It's okay, I'm here now."
You look up at him as you're lifted, pulled in tightly into his chest. Worry showed on his handsome features and it made you feel even more bad that it's because of you.
It seemed Xiao knew exactly what you were thinking. "It's important to tell me these things, but don't stress yourself over it. You'll only feel worse."
A soft mattress greets you as he finished talking. He goes as far as to tuck you in, setting up a wet towel and gently placing it onto your forehead. The coolness making you sigh, closing your eyes in relief.
"Let me know what you need, I'll get it."
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The sudden stress hit you all at once. It felt like your heartbeat was amplified as it pounded throughout your body as if it was connected to an amp.
Tears fell down without your permission, a lump in your throat that brought on a dull pain there. How did this come about? You were just trying to help, get the job done and over with so that you can return to the ship by the evening.
To return to Kazuha.
The merchant you had to escort was out right rude and unbearable. He took every hit at you that he could, from you you were dressed, talked, looked...by the end of it you just wanted to shut him up.
You hadn't meant for Kazuha to be there and witness it. But when he asked how your commission went, you broke down. His smile fell as he rushed to you, pulling you into a tight hold. You didn't register this at first nor the soft words he whispered into your ear.
Not until your breathing slowed down and your cries turned into sniffles.
"Do you feel better?" he asked softly, hand running through your hair. He feels you nod. "Do you want to talk about it?"
You shake your head. "Can we call it a day and cuddle?"
"Of course," he pulled away, kissing your head. "Whatever happened to make you cry, you're safe now. I'll always be here for you, I love you."
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When you didn't show up at the time you agreed upon, he had half a mind to leave without you. Four steps in and he growled in frustration before turning around and heading to where you live.
Who are you to skip out on a plan you made together?
He doesn't knock when entering, just walks right in and takes notice of the unusual silence. Everything looked the same as the day before, as if you hadn't returned home. But that couldn't be it, because when he left, you were home.
Making his way towards your bedroom, he can hear you coughing. It sounded like it hurt with how dry it was. Wanderer is met with the sight of you rolled in your blanket, face looking so pale with shallow breathing.
He froze.
The image reminding him too much of something else, a familiar panic forcing it's way up and making him rush to your side. Fingertips brushing against your skin, it's easy to feel that you have a high fever. You're not up to see him fret over you, collecting everything he needs as a wet towel is placed on your head.
You whisper the name you gave him, his eyes connecting with your tired ones. A weak smile on your lips, the sight calming him down some. You were just sick, and once you're well enough you will be back to annoying him. Good.
"Just rest, i got you."
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writinglover25 · 3 months
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A True Hero
Derek Hale x Fem!Reader , Pack x Fem!Reader (platonic)
Part 1
This is part 2 of ‘Pack: To Save A Friend(s)’ never thought I’d actually make this. Also, I changed this one a bit to where Reader and Derek are dating and have been for a while. Also Y/n is Scott's older sister b/c why not? Hope you enjoy and thanks for all the support!!
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!
Side notes: Y/n/n - your/nick/name
Summary: Y/n had saved her friends, she saved the people she loved. But what happens when saving them turns into sacrificing herself? Will she be able to save herself from this fate?
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, SO much angst, bit of fluff
Y/n saw a figure behind her friend's back, and before she could understand what was happening she saw the shine of light off a sword. Before anyone could react y/n had shoved Allison to the side.
And that's when everything went totally wrong.
Everything happened in slow motion after that. Y/n's ears started ringing, and everything was a blur. She felt like her body was on fire, her entire being was in pain. However through all of it she could faintly hear her friends shouting something.
And the next thing she knew she was being pulled into someone's arms. But, when she looked to see who it was, everything was foggy, she couldn't see what was going on around her.
She blinked her eyes a few times to make the fogginess go away and when it did she could see a face. It was Derek's face..
But- Was he crying? Why was he crying? Y/n tried to lift her hand up to wipe away his tears but that's when she felt it.. The unbearable pain in her chest. She tried to look at it, but she felt a hand on her face preventing her from looking at it.
"Hey no, no, don't look okay? Just look at me. Focus on me." And so she did. She looked at Derek's face instead of her bleeding wound.
"Derek.. it- it hurts. It hurts so much.." She whispers to him, trying to find the strength to keep her eyes open. She was getting tired. Her eyes began to close, but Derek shook her.
"No, no, don't close your eyes, okay? Stay with me. Just- just keep them open for me." She could hear the tremble in his voice as he spoke.
"Y/N!" Alison came running up to her friend and kneeled next to her along with Scott.
"Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't see it behind me and oh my god.. I'm so sorry." Y/n looked at her friend and saw the tears in her eyes.
"It-it's alright Allison. It wasn't your f-fault. I pushed you out of the w-way. Please this.. this wasn't your fault-" y/n winced as her body slightly jolted in pain. She groaned and felt the tears falling down her face.
"Y/n/n!!" Scott called out to his older sister. Landing next to her, taking in her other hand. He brushed the loose hair on her face to the side.
Y/n could see the tears spilling down his cheeks. Could see the look of terror and sadness in his eyes.
But what could she say to him?
That everything was going to be okay? That she was fine? It didn't hurt that bad? No, Y/n couldn't say those things. So.. Y/n said the only thing she could think to say. "I love you little bro... and tell mom I love her-.. '' She coughed and took a deep breath, "that I love her to." She paused, "I'm sorry.." her tears ran down her cheeks.
It was a sad sight to see. Issac was holding onto Alison, Stiles with Lydia, while Derek and Scott sat next to her. And all were crying. Keeping each other upright as they all felt sick and weak. This was their friend, their family and pack member.. No one could move, no one could talk. They stood and watched as their friend, who they considered an older sister to everyone, was dying. For, what were they supposed to do?
Y/n could feel herself slipping away. It was getting hard to keep her eyes open. Her thoughts started to wander. She thought about her family, her friends and pack mates, and her lover.
She thought about her powers. She was a healer, this was her literal job, the thing she did best. Although there was more to it. Others would call her a witch, a very powerful one. Couldn't she just heal herself? She had the ability to, did she not?
But it was too late, Y/n could feel it. She didn't have the strength. Didn't have the energy to call her powers.
Y/n, with what little will power she had left, moved her head to look at Derek. The pain she saw on his face made her heart break more. The tears in his eyes trailed down his face.
She hated it when he cried. And she hated it even more because in this case she was the reason for his tears.
Slowly, she lifted her hand again. With the pad of her thumb she wiped the tears off her lover's cheek, cupping the side of his face in her small and bloody hands.
"Don't cry", she pleaded. "Your supposed to be my sour wolf, not my sad wolf." She finished with a smile stretching across her face.
A small had spread across Derek's face at her attempt at humor. Stiles let out a small laugh, hugging Lydia closer to his side.
He looks at his best friend, his sister even. And he blames himself. He knows it wasn't necessarily his fault for this, but he blamed himself nonetheless.
As if she could read his thoughts Y/n looked at the younger boy and smiled at him. Without words being spoken he new in that moment she didn't blame him, she'd never blame him. Not when it was all out of his control.
"There has to be something, anything, we can do.. You can't just die. Not like this." Scott spoke out loud, though more to himself then the people around him.
“Hey, it's okay.” She looked at her brother with her signature smile. “It doesn't hurt,” she continued. “I'm surrounded by the people I love.. my family.” Breathing in deeply she started to cough violently. “And that's all I could ever ask for.”
957 words
I'm, again, SO sorry for how long this took!!
But on another note should their be a part 3? Does Y/n somehow make it out of this mess alive. Or does she truly and simply die? Protecting the people that she treasures most.
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smoooothoperator · 2 years
Text
Fake It Till You Make It
November: Come What May
Driver! Pierre Gasly x Actress! OC (Anellise Flinch)
Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers
Summary: can they be away? Or will the memories come back until make it unbearable?
Words: 4.9k
Warnings: break up, panic attack
a/n: i know all of you hate me! But hey! Here we have a new chapter. I really hope you like it. I'll take some days off, to write the last chapter and get better because right now my head and throat are killing me, thank God I finished this before getting sick.
Italics are flashbacks
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"What do you mean?" Pierre frowned looking at her.
The moment he walked inside the bedroom and saw her with the suitcase, he felt his heart beating fast. And when she said those words he felt anxious, nauseous.
"I have to leave" she sighed biting her lip. "I'll start recording a new movie soon and I'll be away so many months" she said, not daring to look at him.
"Okay" he nodded confused. "I get it. But why you said we needed to talk?"
"We have to break up" she said. "The deal. Is already done. I talked with Marina some days ago, before going to Como. We are done"
"What?" He frowned, not understanding anything. "But... What about the rumours? We had the deal to stop them"
"There are no rumours anymore" she said, trying to stay calm. She wants to stay, be with him. But is her dream, her job. "I'll stop following you on media, and our interactions will be less. Just to let you know"
He can't understand who is the person that is in front of him. Where is the sweet Annelise that gave him love gazes? The one that held him when he was feeling down? Why is she talking so... Coldly?
"Why are you doing this?" he frowned looking at her. "Why are you leaving me? I thought... I thought there was something between us. I thought it wasn't a deal anymore"
She looked at him and swallowed thickly. Yeah, there's something between them.
"Why are you being so selfish?" he mumbled looking at her, hurt.
"It's my dream, Pierre" she said. "I'll be away four months! I... I can barely be away from you a week without feeling my heart call for you. How do you think it will be for four months? I need to be focused"
"And you can be focused" he said taking ateos closer to her. "Lis, please... Don't do this"
"I'm sorry, Pierre" she whispered feeling her heart breaking slowly. "I have to leave"
"No, please. Don't leave like this!" He exclaimed holding her hands. "Just... Think about it please. Think about us"
Us. Is there something like that? Something real?
"Give me time" she whispered. "I... I need to be focused, this is my dream. I need to do it right, Pierre"
She didn't want to cry, but he's making it too difficult. The way he was looking at her, how he held her hands. How, with his body language, he's begging her to stay with him.
"If Christian Horner asked you to go back to RedBull you would give up everything to sign with them" she said with tears in her eyes.
"But I wouldn't give up the woman I love, Annelise!"
The woman he loves? Did she heard right? Does he loves her?
"I have to leave, Pierre" she whispered chocking on her own tears.
"Promise me to text me" he mumbled wiping away her tears. He never liked seeing her cry, neither of happiness or sadness. "Please, Lis"
She looked at him and hugged his waist, hiding her face on his chest, her body shaking with the sobs. He held her close to him, hoping that it made her stay. But the moment she took a step back, he knew.
"Goodbye, Pierre Gasly" she whispered wiping away her tears with the palm of her hand, breathing in deeply and trying to relax. "It was so beautiful being your girlfriend"
He didn't stop her. He saw how she grabbed her suitcase and walked away, leaving the keys of his house on the small plate next to the door, and without looking back at him she walked out.
The house smells like her, smells like that perfume he gifted her one day they were walking around the shops in Milan. It smells like caramel and vanilla. And it makes his stomach drop, wanting to throw up. Her rooms still has some things, that gave him hopes. Maybe she left them on purpose letting him know she will come back.
He can't believe it. He let her slip through his fingers.

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Going to the airport was a torture. It made her remember the first time she saw him, leaning on his blue Honda and trying to act cool. And now she's leaving without him. She doesn't know if he will forgive her, if he will ever forgive what she did.
He loves her. He said that. He said she's the woman he loves. And instead of staying and saying she loves him back, she just walked away, leaving him on the room without looking back. Because she knows that if she looked back at him she would have stayed, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
But life is hard. Love is hard. And even if she felt like if she was on a fairytale with Pierre, she knew that it had to end soon. They were going to have only one month more, the thought of still dating after that never crossed their minds. But maybe after this, that was something that won't happen ever.
When Annelise sat on the plane she sighed, grabbing her laptop and closing her eyes when she saw the wallpaper of it. A picture of them during a festival on America. Her mind played tricks with her making the memories come back.
"I have to tell you something" Pierre said smiling.
They where on the hotel in New York, sitting on the couch while reading some books the bought on a bookstore on the street. The original plan was going to Central Park and reading there, but a sudden summer storm made it completely impossible.
"Oh? What is it" she smiled sitting comfortably on the couch.
"I booked two tickets for a festival" he said. "A lantern festival"
"No way! You remembered!" She exclaimed leaving the book on her lap, looking at him surprised.
When they played that game of 20 questions, she told him that one of her favourite movies is Tangled. How she always wanted to be the real Rapunzel and be on the live action movie, experience the same thing she lived while looking the lanterns.
"Of course" he laughed. "It will be in two days"
She looked at him with the brightest smile she ever gave him, moving to be on top of him and kiss his lips.
Two days after, they were already on a rented car, going to that place that is five hours away to just see the lights. It was a movie, they were on her favorite movie and she couldn't help but feel like a toddler. She was the happiest, and he was with her. They stopped on a small market to buy things for dinner, a lantern and a blanket to lay on it.
She couldn't believe it yet even when they turned on the lantern, holding it and looking at each other. When they let it go she hugged him, resting her head on his chest making him rest his chin on top of her head.
"Wait" he smiled kissing the top of her head, pulling away from the hug and walking to the married couple that gave them the lighter. "Can you take a picture of us, please?"
They smiled and stood up, the man grabbed Pierre's phone and took pictures of them while the woman stood next to her husband, a big smile on her lips while looking at the pictures.
"You two look so lovely together" she smiled.
"Thank you" Annelise smiled at her, her heart getting warm by her words.
She swallowed hard, those memories hurting her. Did she make the right decision? Of course not. She loves him. But is the best for both of them.

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He hated feeling that way. He hated walking in front of her room and opening the door all the times he walked on its way and look at ber things. It has been nearly two weeks. Two weeks with no answers, no news. He has no idea where is she right now, where is she recording. He tried to be like one of those fans that goes to the deepest wen and search information about the movie.
But the moment he realized he was acting like a freak he stopped. She asked him for time. He has to give her that, right? It's her dream, think about someone else will make it more difficult, right?
But he loves her! He told her he loves her! Why she didn't stayed? Maybe he wasn't clear enough, maybe he didn't say it out loud.
Brazil was hard. He tried to act like if everything was fine. Like if they were still being an item.
"Why did Annelise stop following you?" some media interviewrs asked him on his way to the paddock. "Why she's not here"
"Her account was hacked" he lied. "She's filming a new project" he excised himself, walking away and pressing his ID card on the scanner.
He tried to look happy, at least smiley, even if deep inside he was questioning everything. He didn't say it loud enough. Hs not enough for her.
"Hey, Pierre!" Charles smiled looking at him, but frowned the moment he saw his fake smile. "Oh, what happened?"
"Hm? No, nothing" he said, brushing out the topic. "Just tired. Jet lag, you know"
"Then it's not about why Annelise stopped following you on Instagram?" he said rising an eyebrow. "Come on, you can tell me"
He looked at the Ferrari driver and took a deep breath, swallowing thickly and licking his lips.
"She left" he said making sure no one was around. "She left because of work. The deal is broken, whatever we had is broken"
Charles looked at the Frenchman and sighed, patting his back and giving him a sad smile.
"You and I know it's not broken" he sighed.
"Really? Is not? Because I think she left it clear leaving me and not looking back" he groaned. "I want to be mad. I really want to get all the things she left on my house and burn them, or throw them away. But I can't! Because I love her so damn much that it hurts. The other day I went to her room to grab a thing I needed and it still smells like her".
Charles sighed looking at him. The time they were together, even if it was fake, they spent time the three of them. Sometimes they even had double dates on Milan or Monaco. And somehow he felt how much she loved him too. But when Pierre told him that she left, it left him confused. Maybe everything was an act?
"If you don't talk to her you won't know what is going on in her mind" Charles frowned.
Pierre sighed, looking how his friend walked inside the red building. He tried to talk with her, but everytime he goes to the chat the share, he doesn't know what to write. That he misses her? Well, it's true. When will she come back? He doesn't want to put pressure on her, he knows she wants to focus. Does she love him as much as he does? He write that every hour of every day, but deletes it before sending it, leaving the chat with no new messages.
He wants to go a month back, right when their bond was the best. He wants to go back to when they spent days together on his apartment or when they went around places to explote. He wants to live on those days everything was perfect and he could love her.
She was asleep next to him, her golden hair was spread all over his arm while her head was on his chest. She looks like an angel, he thought.
Last night he came from an sponosor event, and when he walked inside his room he found her sleeping on his bed with one of his shirts. He smiled softly, taking off his clothes and sitting on the bed next to her, laying slowly and wrapping his arm around her.
"Hm? Pierre?" she mumbled opening her eyes slowly, snuggling closer to him.
"I'm sorry I came late, the event was longer than I thought" he whisper covering themselves with the blanket, kissing her forehead and holding her closer.
"It's okay" she jawned, leaning on him and relaxing on his arms, falling asleep again.
Everytime they shared a bed he fell more for her, holding her, knowing their hearts were beating at the same time, same speed. How her breath dtickled his chest, how her scent was all the breathed at night, making his nostrils memorize that perfume of roses, caramel, popcorn and vanilla. It become his new favorite scent.
When the light of the dah started to bright the room he was the first to wake up, hugging her tighter making her wake up too. They spent some minutes there, holding each other on the bed and breathing deeply, looking out of the window.
"It seems that it will rain soon" she whispered rubbing her eyes with her fingers. "The sky is ugly grey"
"Yeah, I read about it yesterday" Pierre whispered playing with her hair.
"You know what it means?" she smiled looking up at him with a smile. "Stay at home and do things together"
He laughed at that, hugging her with both of his arms and kissing her head while she giggled.
Days together were their favorite, doing absolutely nothing but at the same time a lot. They spent the day reading, or making cookies. While he played on the simulator of his office she lated on the floor surrounded by cushions and with her legs on the glass, reading the new book she bought, one she already read not long ago but got it on Italian so she could learn more than she already knows. When Pierre finished his lap he went towards her, laying next to her on the same position.
"What are you reading?" He asked her, letting her rest her head on his arm.
"Normal People" she smiled looking at him, pecking his lips. "Can I try the simulator?"
"Of course" she smiled, letting her sit and get up before him.
He adjusted the seat and settings for her, searching an easy track where she could race. The moment she grabbed the wheel and started to drive he was impressed, how easy she made it.
"Oh god, this is so funny!" she exclaimed, looking how she overtook some cars.
He looked at her, falling more and more, seeing how she drove with a big smile on her lips and not taking her eyes out of the screen, how the tip of her tongue was trapped between her teeth. Everything of her is perfect. She is perfect for him. He can't wait to tell her his feeling. But, when?
It hurts. It hurts so much knowing that she's on his mind all the time and he can't have her in front of him. It hurts how his mind is laughing at him for falling for her, showing him all those memories and torturing him. It hurts.

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She looked at the cars on her screen, her eyes going to the table at the left of it, searching his initials.
She tried to stay away from him. But the fact that she's still wearing the necklace that matches with his, and wears the perfume he gifted her it makes her impossible to not think about him. Her heart aches for him, and she hates it.
"You okay?" Timothée asked her, sitting on the chair next to hers.
"Yeah. Just... Watching him" she sighed, her heart beating faster when the cameras were following his car during his lap.
"Your boyfriend?" her cast mate asked and friend asked her. "Pierre Gasly?"
"Yeah..." she sighed. "Tim, I miss him so damn much. I regret everything I did"
When the whole cast was reunited to record the film, Annelise and Timothée spent most of the time together, as well as Zendaya did with them. The three of them were together most of the time, and when she couldn't hold it anymore, she told them everything she was carrying on her heart. How she regrets leaving Pierre, hoe much she loves and misses him. And they were there for her, to keep her company and make sure she felt supported. Because being away from a loved one is hard, everyone knows it. And she's not the exception.
"Why don't you call him, Anne?" he sighed looking at her, watching the screen of her phone too.
"He hates me, I left him" she mumbled.
If only she knew...
"I'm sure he doesn't" he said wrapping an arm around her to comfort her.
They were recording on the dessert of Abu Dhabi. She was so close and at the same time so far from him. He doesn't know she's there, and it will be better if it stays like that. She didn't have to film on this place, but didn't want to be alone, so she travelled with all the team, going to all the places and helping with everything she could do.
That day was a hot day, and the fact that she knew that Pierre was on the same place, if made her more unfocused. She was on her own world, looking at his practices, cheering silently for him. The day was going great, at the moment.
The make up artist called her because they needed her to check a new make up and hair style, making her stop watching and go to the traiker were the team was.
"I think that for your own health and with all the heat here, it will the best if we cut your hair instead of using the wig, what do you think?" the hair stylist proposed her with a smile.
"Oh... Okay" she nodded, feeling her heart beat fast. They were going to cut her hair, the hair Pierre loved to play with.
She sat there, letting them do their thing, not noticing the necklace breaking after a rough movement of the hair artist when the robe got stuck on it. Less than an hour passed and her hair was done, cut over her shoulders.
"You look so beautiful" Zendaya smiled hugging her.
"He liked my hair" she mumbled touching it, how straight it was and ended on her shoulders.
After that she went to her trailer, getting ready to have a shower and take off all the sample hair that was on her back, itching a little. She got undressed after opening the water key, sigheknd while looking at her hair in the mirror.
And then her eyes fell on her chest. They nacklace is not there anymore.
"No, no, no, no, no" she mumbled looking around anxious.
She can lose her long hair, but not the necklace. Not his necklace.
She wrapped her body with the robe and walked around the trailer, searching for the necklace. She looked between the chusions of the couch, on her bed, on all her clothes, on the floor under the table, on her bag. But she couldn't find it. And it made her panic more.
She walked out of the trailer, her eyes scanning all the place. The floor, all the places she was on that day. The chair where she sat with Timothée, where she huddled Zendaya after she finished filming a scene, on the catering zone under the table, on the othing trailer. Then she went to the hair and make up trailer, the last place she was in.
"Sarah... Please tell you found a necklace here while cleaning" she said with tears in her eyes.
"Oh?" The brunette woman frowned looking at her. "Yeah, I think I did".
Annelise felt how a weight left her shoulders, but the moment when the hairdresser turned around and showed her the broken necklace.
"Is it yours?" the woman asked her and she swallowed thickly while nodding. "Oh... The chain is broken"
Annelise looked at it, feeling how her chest started to ache. It's broken. The necklace is broken.
They were walking around Tokyo, the neon light shining on the night. Yuki asked them to join him for dinner on one of his favorite restaurants, so they were making their own way to meet the young driver.
"Oh, look!" Annelise smiled, holding his hand and pushing him with her to one of the small tables that was outside a small store.
It was a jewelry store, with small things. Rings, necklaces, bracelets, earrings. She looked at all of them carefully with a smile on her lips.
"Oh, hi" the woman smiled making a bow, talking with a perfect English, making Annelise and Pierre smile relieved and look at the woman.
"Hi" Pierre and Annelise smiled giving the woman a bow too.
"Did something catch your eyes?" the woman asked with a smile, looking at them.
Pierre smiled, scanning his eyes all over the table until he saw two necklaces. One was golden and other silver, the golden one bad a 'P' on it and the silver one an 'A' on it. It was a section with initials, but the cat that those two letters were together made him smile.
"How much for those two?" he said pouting with his finger to the necklaces.
"2000 yen" she smiled looking at the couple.
"Then I want them" Pierre smiled, grabbing his wallet and two bills of 1000 yen, handing them to the woman.
Annelise was looking at him blushing. Did he really bought a couple necklace?
"Here" Pierre smiled, grabbing the golden necklace and putting it around her back, clipping it on her nape. "See? You look better with golden jewelry" he said winking at her.
"Are you okay, Annelise?" the hairdresser asked her frowning.
She just nodded, holding the necklace on her chest and walking out of the trailer. On her way to her personal trailer she bumped into Timothée, but since she was looki g stt he floor hiding her tears, she didn't notice him.
"Annelise?" the man frowned following her with his eyes, and when he saw that she locked herself on the trailer, he knew something was wrong.
He frowned walking towards the door knocking on it softly. Zendaya showed up, and when she saw the frown on her friend's face she knew something happened with Annelise.
"Anne... open the door, sweety" Zendaya sighed knocking on it, talking softly. But when they heard sobs coming from inside their worry grew more.
She felt stupid, crying over a necklace. But it wasn't a simple necklace. It was the nacklace with his initial, the 'P' engraved on it. It was the necklace that stayed on her chest, close to her heart, for the last month. She never took it out, and when she had to do that, she always tried to wear it until the last moment before recording a new scene. It was a way of having him with her, of having Pierre near her heart.
But now it's gone. He's gone. And it was because her fault, because she walked away. She should have asked him to keep the relationship, to forget about the deal and keep dating. But all she did was think about a dream. But what is a dream if you are not enjoying it with your lived ones, sharing the experience.
She heard the knocks on the door, and standingnuo while cleaning the tears out of her face, she ooened it, letting her friends walk in and wrap his arms around her.
"What happened, An?" He asked her.
"The necklace" she whispered showing them the golden chain broken.
Zendaya looked carefully at it and sighed. They are done with her suffering. It's not fair seeing her on this state and not doing anything for her.
"Tell me what you need" Timothée whispered cupping the cheeks of his friend and wiping away her tears. "Tell us what do you need and we will be there to make it, okay? It hurts seeing you so sad"
She looked at her two friends. It makes her happy have them there, supporting her. But they are not what she needs right now.
"She needs him" Zendaya whispered, looking how Annelise closed her hand around the necklace and placing her fist on her chest.

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He finished the second practice and media duties quicker thank he expected, all being so smooth and congratulating him for a nice finish on P7.
His day was going good, but the moment he walked inside his room on the hospitality after taking a shkeer and saw three missed calls he frowned. And when he saw who called he panicked.
It was her. She called him. Three times. And he wasn't there.
So he called back immediately. The tones made his heart beat fast and breath get faster, heavy
"Pierre?" someone talked at the other side. That's not Annelise.
"Who are you?" he frowned, looking to a fix spot on the wall.
"I... I'm Timothée, Annelise's cast mate" the voice said and Pierre sighed. Timothée Chalamet, the lead of the movie she's recording, Dune.
"Oh... why are you calling?" He sighed closing his eyes.
"She needs you" the other man said, making Pierre open his eyes quickly and frown. "Look. She has been miserable all this recent days and we can't handle anymore. But today happened something that really made her have a breakdown, and we don't know anything else to do".
He didn't say anything, all the information getting inside his brain, processing it slowly.
"I know you might feel like this or worse... But please, if you love her, if you really do, come to her" Timothée begged.
Pierre frowned getting up from the couch. He doesn't even know what to do. What he can do? He doesn't know where she is, how is she. Does she know her friends are calling him with her phone?
"We are in Abu Dhabi too" Timothée said quckly, making Pierre stop breathing.
Too? How does he know he is in Abu Dhabi?
"She was watching all your races, Pierre..." he sighed. "We finished our recording day and are heading to the hotel"
"Where is it? I'll be there" he said quickly, holding the phone on his ear with his shoulder while he packed all his things inside the backpack.
Timothée told him in which hotel they were staying and Pierre made his way out of the hospitality, bumping into Charles.
"Hey, mate" Charles laughed looking at him. "Why the rush?"
"I found her" he said quickly, hugging him. "I found her!"
He left Charles looking at him confused, but the moment he started run through the paddock, the Monegasque smiled proud.
He went to his car, ignoring as much fans as he could, and drove out of the parking lot. He asked Siri to guide him to the hotel she was staying and when he found it he parked the car quickly, not caring if he locked it or not.
He ran issude the hotel, not looking around to check the interior design, and went to the elevator pressing the button of the floor where she was. He looked at the mirror, fixing his hair with his shaking hands. He took a quick shower but couldn't fix his hair, making it look messy. But that's nothing compared of how messy his heart is beating inside his chest.
He walked slowly, feeling his heartbeat on his ears, and tried to calm himself before knocking on the door. He did it three times, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
It's not the first time he sees her having a panic attack, so he knows that what she needs right now is someone calmed.
It was 3 a.m and he felt the bed empty when he turned around. It was weird. She always slept like a baby next to him.
Pierre got up, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand and walked around the apartment searching her, and when he saw the light of the kitchen on he walked inside of it. What he didn't expect was finding her on the floor, curled on herself and shaking.
"Lis?" he frowned kneeling in front of her. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I fucked up" she whispered. "I fucked up so bad"
"What? What happened?" he whispered holding her hands.
"I was doing the interview, the one I told you I was going to do at night because it was for an American show" she whispered, her voice shaking.
"Now it make sense why you look so beautiful" he smiled looking at her, hoping to make her smile, and holding her making her sit on his lap.
"I just talked about the bad relationship with Olivia" she mumbled, chocking on her own sobs and not being able to breathe well. "I... Fuck, I told everyone how bad she was with me, with everyone"
"Hey" he whispered cupping her cheeks and making her look at me. "Breathe with me, okay? Then you can tell me everything that happened"
She looked at him with panic on her eyes and nodded. Pierre placed her hands on his bare chest, holding them there with his own hands on top of hers, and started to breathe in slowly through his nose while looking into her eyes. She imitated him, or at least she tried at first. And when she got it, she closed her eyes and rested her head on his neck, hugging him close.
"I don't know what I would do without you Pierre" she whispered, her breath brushing his bare chest making him shiver.
He saw how the door opened slowly, a tall brunette woman he recognized looked at him.
"Pierre" Zendaya smiled looking at him. "Thank you, really. She really needs you"
Pierre nodded, walking inside the room and sighing when he saw her there, laying on the bed while hugging a pillow like she used to hug him.
"I'll leave you two alone, okay?" Zendaya smiled walking towards Annelise, kissing her temple and looking up at Pierre.
He didn't see Zendaya closing the door, his eyes are only for her. For the woman she loves.
Pierre walked slowly towards the bed, laying on it and taking off the pillow. He observed her with attentive eyes. Her hair is short, lips dry because of the sun and cheeks wet. Her left hand was on a fist, holding something close to her chest
"I'm here" he whispered, holding her close. "I'm here, my love. I won't leave, okay?"
"Pierre?" she whispered opening her eyes slowly, more tears showing on her eyes. "Tell me this is not a dream... Please tell me you are real"
"I'm real" he whispered wiping away her tears, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to stay with you, okay? Forever"


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xxxonetuffpuffxxx · 2 years
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Every Korekiyo healing fic relies on a ship and tbh I'm sick of that. Korekiyo has spent all of their life in the most horrificly abusive toxic relationship so why does everyone think that a healthy relationship would just magically cure them?
if anything jumping right into another relationship, even a healthy one, would be the worst thing for Korekiyo because at that point. Korekiyo has no identity of their own. That was stripped away from them. Everything they were revolved around their sister. They'd just make everything revolve around their partner and honestly act pretty similarly to Toko in obsessiveness to cope albeit they'd probably keep it a lot less noticable. It would still be very toxic for them because Korekiyo needs time on their own to find themself and they sure as hell won't do that if they are in a relationship at that stage.
If anything, the thing Korekiyo would need most is friends. Friends that they can trust and rely on. Shoulders to cry on. Someone to tell them that they made the right choice when the guilt is unbearable. The last thing Korekiyo would need is to be alone because being alone would destroy Korekiyo. It would make them fall right back into how they were right after Sister Shinguji died.
Honestly, it's a lot more interesting to me to follow around a Korekiyo who is still finding themselves and coping rather than have all that pain magically disappear because of true love or whatever. Would be a lot more interesting to see fics where Korekiyo falls for someone, only to be afraid to be in love because of the horrific things they did for love, even if that love was monstrous and toxic. Being unsure if they would literally do anything for love again. It's an emotionally devastating conflict because there is nothing Korekiyo wants more than to be in love with someone in the right way, but their insecurities and trauma are holding them back.
Sorry this is such a meandering post. I think about therapy!Kork a lot and it frustrates me that people just make that "I am no longer mentally ill" Kork instead. Korekiyo's whole character is so complex and fascinating and I hate to see people water it down because of Kodakas bad writing turning them off from exploring that side of them.
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confessions-official · 7 months
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Tw ed and possible depression?
I feel sick when I think about if I'm depressed or not. I dont like using that word, I havent earned it. I have a loving family and the best girlfriend in the world. I dont wanna die, I just dont wanna exist. I dont wanna do anything except smoke weed, Which helps things not seem so dim. It makes me feel less. Bored I guess. I sont wanna do anything. I dont wanna game, I dont wanna talk to my family, I dont wanna talk to my friends, I dont wanna talk to my girlfriend, I dont wanna draw, I dont wanna do my work, I dont wanna get out of bed. But I do. I know people who are depressed who cant make themself gwt out of bed.
I feel like a faker. I cant tell anyone I feel this way because it'd be unnecessary burden to them, And their lives are already hard enough without me adding to it. I don't want to tell anyone the bad stuff because then they'd think the same way, But mt life isnt even that bad. Its hard to say or send anything because my body just. Doesnt let me. I'll be trying to post a silent cry for help and automatically exit out and cancel the post. I'll write it all up and instead of hitting send I delete it all.
I dont even eat half the time anymore. I wait until its unbearable and affecting me to eat. I used to tell my gf because when she tells me to eat I do, But I stopped. I dont wanna bother her. Nobody notices either, Since in our house we usually only eat dinner together, And that's if my dad doesnt have to work. He leaves at 3 o'clock every day so its not like he can see if I'm eating or not.
Im doing better in school now, I was trying but. Now I'm not. It doesnt matter though. I dont even remember what grade I'm in. Being homeschooled means I never have to see or speak to anyone. Its what I wanted anyways. Less work. Less hours. Less effort lower goals yet higher outcomes. I had 3 F's almost constantly in school, Now I only have one, And the rest are A's and B's.
Its easy when you can search anything and everything up. If I have an essay I read the wiki page for whatever its about and I've only gotten 100%'s in english so far. My overall grade is a 100% for english actually
I just dont understand. I dont hate myself do I? I thought i finally loved myself. I thought i finally fixed it i fixed myself i was finally better i was normal. Theres no reaskn i should be feeling so desprately lost and so alone nd so. Sad
I'm sorry. I know this isnt the blog for this, I know this is for confessions but this is the only place I can say any of this. I couldnt tell anyone in my life that I dont wanna exist, Or that I think my brain snapped, Or that I have serious problems. I hate this. I just want someone to know and care. I just want someone to notice something is wrong. Itd make it so much fucking easier if I coulrnt jide behind the lie of 'im okay'
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ivegotalongmemory · 2 years
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Twd 11x23 thoughts (I know I'm not emotionally prepared for this) ((spoilers)):
-it doesn't feel like this is the 2nd to last episode, I can't believe it
-that shot of all the weapons in one box is iconic honestly
-lori, CARL, RICK AND MICHONNE mention, yeah I knew I wouldn't be able to handle this
-she put the hat on R.J's head😭
-rosita is gonna be a ruthless bitch this episode right? Please give me that
-oh dianne is here? Where has she beeeeeeen all this time
-that tiny little crumb of ezekiel saying goodbye to nabila and gracie?? Literally a crumb but I love it
-daryl literally cannot say no to Judith can he. And then there's lil r.j who just has to get passed around between the babysitters
-yay mercer go fuck shit up<3
-"is that your faith talking?" "In you, yes" okay look I never cared about rosita/gabriel but I have to admit that was cute
-i feel so bad for aaron and his lil group, like everyone else is back together and then there's these guys still out here, they better be back with the main group before the end of the show. Actually I just had a depressing thought, what if they all die and never make it
-"yet I smile" stop I will cry, ezekiel really did beat all the odds
-"you all are better than me" okay look I am not a negan apologist and I dislike how some people literally suck his dick and forget everything he did, but i do love his arc lately of being self aware and knowing that he did shit and trying to be better for no reason other than to be decent, that little conversation with ezekiel really did pull at my heartstrings
-omg did Maggie hear all that too?
-all these conversations about the Grimes fam are making me emotional
-lmao @ mercer and yumiko acting their asses off in front of this other commonwealth girl
-LYDIA OH MY GOD???? NOT HER
-oh my god don't cut to another scene and leave me hanging like that???
-jerry yelling "dude stop" in the most dire of situations is the most Jerry thing ever
-that scene was almost unbearable, wtf
-lydia is gonna regret all the time she spent hanging out with Aaron because now they're twinning
-jokes aside, oh my god, I mean I'm glad she hasn't just been killed off completely because it could have been worse but yikes
-so sick seeing the whole group working together to infiltrate, reminds me of the earlier seasons
-variant walkers u are cool but this is NOT THE TIME to mess things up
-oh no eugene is fucked
-oh he's not fucked, GO EUGENE!
-i love u jerry please dont die but also i feel like hes gonna because he just said the cursed words "see you on the other side"
-ahh yes the usual killing of all the redshirts while all the mains somehow dont get shot
-and now mercer being arrested? oh this is all going to shit isn't it
-i love a good gunfight though
-also just thought how terrifying it must be for connie who literally can't hear any of this???
-OKAY GIRLIES THIS IS WILD PAMELA WHAT THE FUCK??? Judith literally shoved maggie out of the way to save her?? Stop it rewind right now
-but love how everyone went absolutely psychotic trying to shoot Pamela after she did that, it's what she deserves
-negans reaction to the variant walker just about sums it up
-love luke running up with a smile but like sorry bro we don't have time for smiles and reunions right now
Okay holy shit this whole post was a mess but
-judith shot? everyone desperate to kill Pamela? some guy accidentally opened the gates and let the walkers in? the walkers climbing the walls? Everyone penned in surrounded by the massive horde? Mercers been arrested? Aaron, Lydia, Jerry and elijah all still out there somewhere? We still don't know wtf happened to the oceanside people? now this is the kind of absolute chaos I want for the finale! Also I'm so glad amc apparently aren't releasing the finale early because for once in my life I can avoid being spoiled a whole week early
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carronpatrick · 5 months
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I had 4 hours of sleep in the past 3 days... And now that Trooper is gone, I just. I'm so scared to even try to sleep.
I haven't slept alone since I was like, 12. Which, I haven't slept since Trooper died 14 hours ago despite being so utterly destroyed I can barely keep my mind working... But either a dog or boyfriend or friend sleepovers or on my parent's floor... I don't know how to sleep alone without night terrors and fitful dozing of 15 minutes here, 10 there.
And I don't even give a flying fuck if whoever reads this thinks I'm being dramatic. I'm not. I had this puppy since he was 7 weeks old, being sold as a 'defect' because he had a curly-q tail, and we were together through an extremely abusive relationship, a car accident, someone stalking and threatening to kill me, my shitty ass family and exfriends dramas, the death of my dad and Jake and our 2 eldest dogs, 5 different diseases between us two, my mom's brain surgery, and every time my depression got almost unbearable where I literally begged God to let me die... I kept going purely because he needed me.
He slept in my arms from night one. There were 3 nights in his 9 year life where I wasn't home and that was to take care of my mother in Nashville and my dad watched him and sent me hourly pupdates. I didn't sleep until I almost passed out whole driving us home and even then I was in my mom's room.
I feel absolutely empty and hollowed and dead. Just still have the horrific pain which is how I know I'm still alive. I manage to stop sobbing and having a panic attack where I can't breathe and then I just... Look around and I see him everywhere. His water bowl by the bed, his babies on it, his hair clippers in the bathroom, his medicine downstairs, his numerous beds and toys and his treats and his little hoodie and his damn fur from when I trimmed him literally right before his became comatose on our bed... I have his collar on me constantly, which I bought before I even knew he was the best boy for me...
I am just so utterly alone. Everyone I love leaves or dies or lives hundreds of miles away and I genuinely don't know what I did in a past life to either piss off the universe or for God to think I can just handle all of these struggles... But I'm so sorry for whatever I did, I am. I need just.... One bit of good, of sunshine in this fucking hurricane.
I had to set up 2 night lights just so I can try to maybe sleep if I can finally pass out from deprivation and exhaustion from crying almost the entire past 14 hours. My skin is raw, my eyes are swollen and red, my nose and sinuses are stopped up to where I popped my left ear when swallowing mid-episode, I got maybe 6 bites of food in because I am so so sick to my stomach, I have a fever and chills, I have marks where I dug nails into my arms and legs and a bruise on my forehead and chest where I pounded repeatedly in a feeble attempt to stay sane and alive and grounded and I still can't fucking sleep.
I lay on my left and I expect to see him there, whining to go under the covers and cuddle with me... Lay on my right and expect to feel him curl into my back and scooch me to the side more and more... Lay on my back and expect to feel him at my head, curled around it like he did since he was a baby.
I doubt anyone is still reading and I'm just fucking sobbing writing it but. It's 330a and it's not like I can fucking sleep. I want my baby, I want my daddy, I want my honey... I want to dissociate or just snap and not feel a fucking thing thing until I can successfully shove all of this pain and sadness and misery into my compartmentalizing brain boxes and not take bits out until I can handle them.
Hopefully my medicines kick my ass and I just.... Sleep with zero dreams or terrors for the next day or week or, idk. I can't even talk about what exactly happened to him because it was too similar to my dad's death and I genuinely am traumatized because I was just finally easing my ptsd from dad and now have it from my baby boy, my son, my soul... I probably am making zero sense.
Hug your loved ones, anyone actually reading this... Hug them and tell them you love them every chance you get. Say it over and over - it doesn't cheapen it. Not if you mean it. Whether your loved one is a fur baby or a human, related or a friend or whatever... fucking love them and let them know it every second you can because anyone can get taken from you in a moment. And you'll be left cursing every millisecond of wasted time.
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casspurrjoybell-28 · 1 year
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Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 17
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*Warning: Adult Content*
"Well, that's me," I say as we approach Daemon's car.  
Jay seems disappointed, reaching out to grasp my hand to stop me from leaving.
"Hey, could we hang out sometime? Like outside of school?" he asks.
I smile breaks out on my face. 
"Sure. My friends would love to meet you."
Lylah and Wren will be so excited.
Jay scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Actually, I meant just us..."
"Omega. Do I have to wait here all day?" the familiar deep voice rings out behind me and I turn to see Daemon has rolled down the window.
I stick my tongue out at him before looking back to Jay.
"Sorry about that. What were you saying?"
"Uh... it's nothing," Jay says quickly, the words kind of jumbling.
"See you tomorrow, Ash."
"See you."
I wave at him before getting in the car.
I don't spare Daemon a second glance as I pull out my phone to text my friends.
I've decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.
He doesn't speak either but I can feel his gaze on me.
There's this weird tension in the air and it makes me apprehensive.
He seems annoyed but when is he not?
When we get to the house I'm about to go up to my room but Daemon's asks me something that makes me stop.
"Was that your boyfriend?"
I'm already not in the best mood and I'm about to go through the trouble of explaining Jay is just a friend when an idea pops into my head.
"What if he is?" I say, crossing my arms as I lean against the wall.
"Is he or is he not?"
There he goes again, demanding answers.
"What's it to you, Daemon?"
"I don't like him," he says, lips pressed in a hard line.
I want to roll my eyes at that.
Why is he acting like he's jealous or something?
"Oh and why not? He treats me so well, unlike someone. He's such a gentleman. In fact, he saved me at school today."
The anger on his face fades a bit and he almost looks worried but I know that can't be.
"Saved you? What happened?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? Well, stop pretending you care."
I glare at him before going up the stairs.
I keep up my arrogant facade up until I reach my room, my teeth gritted and my fists clenched.
But my eyes are already starting to well up with tears and I bite my lip to keep them in.
As soon as the door closes though, I crumple, letting my tears fall.
I rush to my bed, burying my face into a pillow, trying to cry as silently as I can into it.
Everything's become too much.
Fighting with Daemon.
Trent being shitty to me.
A sandbag falling and almost killing me.
I'm just so sick of it all.
I thought everything would be better once I got away from my stepfather but right now it doesn't feel like that at all.
It's just painful and it makes me want to scream but I don't want to make a noise so I settle for holding my breath against my pillow until my lungs are practically burning.
It hurts a lot but it kind of makes me feel better so I do it again but for longer this time.
It's a strange sensation, my vision dark as I'm unable to breathe.
Once it becomes unbearable, I gasp for breath as I finally let myself take in air, holding my chest as my heart beats erratically.
As my lungs ache in recovery, I feel a kind of rush but I also feel a little guilty for what I just did.
But I kind of want to do it again.
I shake my head with a sniffle.
I feel pretty dirty right now, especially after taking a dive on the dirty stage floor today, so I decide to take a shower.
Showers always make me feel better.
A little later I'm chilling at my desk finishing up my homework when I hear a knock on my door.
Assuming it's Lucien I chirp out an inviting.
"Come in."
My smile drops when I see it's Daemon.
I'm still upset with him.
I don't want to see him.
But a small part of me tells me that's a lie.
"You're still here?"
"Not by choice," Daemon narrows his eyes at me.
"Lucien needs me for something. And, I came to warn you my brother's coming over tonight."
"Why would you need to warn me about that?"
"Let's just say he's the suspicious type and he's not too fond of Dark Moon. Not to mention he has a bad temper. So just keep your head down and let Lucien or I do the talking, okay?"
"Sounds like you and your brother have many things in common," I tease, perching up on the desk so my feet dangle, my legs not long enough to reach the ground.
Daemon lets out a huff of annoyance.
"You're lucky you're an Omega."
"I'm not scared of you," I challenge.
Because I know Daemon won't harm me.
He's never made me feel like he's going to harm me, despite all the brawn he carries.
What I don't expect is for Daemon is to cross the room toward me to stand against the desk, trapping me by settling his muscled arms on either side of me, hands flat against the surface.
"Is that so?" he says quietly, his face a few inches from mine.
His dark orbs bore into my light ones, daring me to challenge him further.
My face flushes at how close we are, surprising even myself when a pang of arousal courses through me at the scent of him.
Why does he smell so freaking good?
"Y-you won't hurt me."
"I won't," he whispers huskily, leaning in.
"But I can do other things to you."
My stomach flips in excitement.
"What kinds of t-things?" I ask breathlessly.
"Bad, dirty things," his breath tickles my ear and a shiver goes up my spine.
I suck in a breath, sure my face is flaming by now.
And the thing is, the most troubling thing to me right now isn't that he's so close to me, it's that he's so close and not touching me.
And oh how I want him to touch me.
I want his big hands on my thighs and his... Oh, God, I need to snap out of it.
What am I even thinking right now?
Why am liking this?
I don't want to admit how much this is turning me on, it's so embarrassing.
And weren't we just fighting?
Is this just my anger toward him that's conflicting my hormones and making me react like this?
That has to be it.
Daemon's just trying to intimidate me, to make the Omega in me submit to his Alpha in response to my challenge.
It's probably all a game to him.
But one look at his full, mouthwatering lips has me dying to squeeze my thighs together, for any type of friction but I just end up hooking his torso between my legs.
The heat of his skin I can feel through his pants on my bare legs causes me to let out a small whimper to which Daemon responds with a growl.
"Ash..."
"Daemon? Are you up there?" Lucien's voice calls from downstairs.
Startled, I abruptly push Daemon away from me, making him take a few steps back.
We stare at each other, me in shock from what just occurred, him still with that dark, hungry look in his eyes.
My body is still tingling from the thrill, even though I can't say anything really happened.
I mean, does this mean something?
If it does...I don't know what.
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warmaidensrevenge · 2 years
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Plus size reader
A/N: Hey. So surprised to see all the love. It will take some time for more postings. But I am working on it. I will try to release as much as I can. I'm writing as soon as stuff comes to me. It's a bit difficult because I'm not the best writer. Just as a warning this story will be super long. Also, I keep the summary short because I don't want to give too much away. So hopefully you guys will love it. Thanks again.
Warnings: angst, drug/alcohol use, and body insecurities, cursing, arguing. Not proof read and no word count. Using my phone.
Summary: Eddie gets you sick and man does it really pisses you off.
Part 2: Redemption
You woke up so tired the next morning. You felt for your friend. But he wasn't there. You opened your eyes and he was no where insight. While sitting up you noticed that the door slightly ajar.
You got up and walked to the mirror hanging on the back of the door. Noticing right away your eyes red and puffy. Cheeks stained with tear trails. Then you turned to look at the side that was hurt. Pressing your fingertips ever so slightly to the bruise. It still hurting but your heart hurt more. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Letting out a slow sigh.
That's when you heard voices coming from down stairs. You slowly went down and overheard your dad and Eddie.
"You need to talk to her." Eddie spoke calmly but stern. " You need to apologize. You have to make things right with her."
"I - I just.... What can I say? She won't forgive me...I wish I can take it back." Dad whimpered.
" I don't care what you say sir. All I care about is y/n. And that she's safe." Eddie paused for a second. " I'm sorry sir for being blunt. But if you lay another finger on her. I swear to God it will be the last time you do."
Eddie's words shocked you. You quickly brought your hand up to cover the small gasp you let out. Thankfully they didn't hear you.
Your dad sighed. " I understand. I promise I won't touch her again...I know I haven't been the best father."
Eddie scoffed.
" Okay. Not much of a father at all. But thank you. Thank you for being there for her. I know you would do anything for her and I appreciate you sticking up for her."
Eddie sighed. " She's my best friend. And I will protect her. Even if that means protecting her from you."
The silence after that was scary. The tension was so thick and almost unbearable. But you had to do something so that they wouldn't come to blows. So you decided to stop the conversation before it got worse.
You faked a smile and walked into the kitchen. "Morning."
Both Eddie and your father looked at you. You could tell your dad had been crying too.
Eddie stood up. "I'm gonna head out. Let you two talk."
He walked by you and grabbed your hand. Squeezing it gently. You looked at him and saw the sympathy in his eyes.
"You'll be alright, call me later ok?"
You nodded and he left.
" Honey..." Your father said low. Bringing his elbows to the table and burying his face in his hands. " I'm so sorry honey." He sniffled.
You sat down across from him and felt tears forming in the corner of your eyes. " Dad... You need help."
-
When Eddie left he hung around for a little bit. Just to make sure that you would really be okay. He stood near the front door. Listen for anything.
For the longest time he had wanted to say something to your dad. Every time you came to him crying. Or when you were afraid to go home. All he wanted to do was make sure that you always had someone there for you. To make sure you were safe. But he held his tongue.
Not this time. And never again. You would never understand how truly important you were to him. You came into his life at a crucial time. When he was so young and full of anger.
In fact the day you showed up to school, he was having a really bad day. From his dad getting sentenced to 10 years in prison. To getting pushed around in the hallway just moments before he walked into the cafeteria.
You were his very first damsel in distress. And though you would say he saved you that day. You actually saved him from himself. For that he would forever be grateful for you and the friendship. He cared for you. And he wanted to be the one person on this earth to not hurt you.
That's why he couldn't tell you his secret.
...
You felt better about what happened last night. After the 3 hour conversation you had with your dad.
Praying that he would follow through on his promises. But only time will tell.
Later in the afternoon you went to your good friend Nancy Wheeler's house. In hopes she would have some extra foundation to cover your bruise.
Your shift at Family Video was starting soon. And you really didn't feel like answering the questions Robin or Steve would have for you when you got there.
You biked the 2 miles to the Wheeler's in a decent amount of time. Hoping to burn enough calories so that you can have more than a salad for lunch.
The thought reminded you of the time Eddie had pointed at your meal one day. " That there is what food eats."
You smiled to yourself at the memory. He always tried to get you to quit whatever diet you were on that week. Saying the sweetest things to you about how beautiful you were. And how any guy would be lucky to have you.
Then you thought about why he couldn't be the guy.
You pulled into the Wheeler's driveway and hopped off. Setting the bike against the garage. After, you rang the bell. The door was immediately answered by Mike. The newest addition to the Hellfire.
"Hey y/n. Surprised to see you."
" Hey Mike. Is um Nancy home?"
" Yeah." He then screamed "NANCY! YOU GOT COMPANY."
Your eyes widen. Jesus H!
He looked back at you. "Come in."
You stepped in through the door and heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Hey y/n. How- " Nancy started but cut off and froze at the second to last step. " What happened?"
Her brows were pinched together and she tilted her head to see your face better.
"Nance, uh can I talk to you in private for a sec?" You asked, turning your head so that Mike couldn't see the bruise.
" Y-yeah, uh come up." She said with a thin lip smile. Clearly worried about the mark on your cheek.
-
You looked around Nancy's room and admired the pictures hanging around her mirror. You saw one with a freckled red head girl.
Barb. You thought. Remembering when she died. Nancy was never the same after that. You guys hung out less and less after that.
All three of you guys became friends when you decided to join the schools paper in 11th grade. You knew that it would look good on college applications. Need something other than the Hellfire Club on your extracurriculars.
The small segment you had talked about upcoming events in Hawkins.
Nancy and Barb were the only ones who welcomed you to the paper. But Nancy was the one you were cloest to. She had warned you about Fred Benson. He was this seriously up tight bossy kid who was in charge. Kinda mean you thought but he mostly didn't speak to you.
" y/n?"
You turned to the worried Nancy and filled her in on what happened. Without mentioning too much about how you had fallen in love with one Eddie Munson.
She then apologized and gave you a hug. " You ok?"
You nodded, assuring her that you really were.
" I umm need something to cover this up." You pulled away and pointing at your cheek." I was wondering if you could help me?"
" Yeah! Uhh hold on a sec." She moved to the dresser and looking for foundation. " Here you go. You can keep it."
You took the small powder tin. " Thanks Nance."
You gave her a little smile and she returned it with the worry in her eyes.
You could almost hear her asking if you wanted to stay with her.
" It's ok Nance. I promise."
She nodded. But still looked scared for you. So you decided to distract her.
"Hey you busy tonight?" You asked.
" Uh no. Why? What's up?"
You grinned. " I was wondering if you wanted to hang out and watch a movie? I umm could really use the girl time."
"No plans with Eddie?"
"Yeah but...I kinda just want to stay in you know?"
" Well yeah sure. Just nothing scary please." Her voice sounded a little more upbeat.
" Ok sounds like a plan. Uhh say 8?"
" I'll bring the popcorn." She said through a smile.
...
Your shift at the video store went slow as hell. The 4 hours you spent there was filled with Robin and Steve arguing on who's turn it was to pick the next movie.
Also, the customers were extra stupid today. Asking if you knew what this one movie's called with that thing. Making you absolutely annoyed to the fullest. Especially when they asked " Hey do you have that one movie with that one guy in that other movie?"
Like WHAT? !
"I'm sorry umm can you explain a little more than that. Not sure exactly what you're looking for." you responded in your best customer service voice.
During your 10 minute break you broke the news to Eddie. He sounded upset but understood why.
Normally, you would go to the Hideout on Tuesday nights to watch Corroded Coffin or the Cast Outs. But lately Corroded Coffin had been getting more stage time. Which was very exciting.
So on Saturdays after a set, you would stay with Eddie at his trailer. Getting high and watching movies. Or listening to music while having some deep conversation about an existential crisis either one of you were having until Eddie would pass out. He always fell asleep before you.
But tonight. You really did need the girl time.
...
"Oh geez! Jake is gorgeous." Nancy swooned over the good looking jock in Sixteen Candles. " Right?"
"Uh not my type." You replied, tossing popcorn in your mouth.
"Not your type?! Hot isn't your type?" She sounded almost offended.
" Uh well you know. I like the more ... Edgier type. Not so clean cut."
She raised a brow. "Uh huh. The Munson type then."
You nervously laughed. " God no... More like Bender from The Breakfast Club."
" That's basically Munson y/n."
You shook your head and laughed a little. " No, no. Not Munson."
Between the conversations, painting each others nails, munching on some popcorn and diet pop you knew you were gonna regret tomorrow. The phone rang out of the blue making you looked at the clock.
It's almost midnight.
" Sorry Nance."
" It's okay. I'll pause it."
You got up and answered the phone. "Hello?"
When you heard what was going on you rolled your eyes. "Yeah I'll be right there."
You hung up the receiver and walked back into the living room. " Hey Nance. Could you give me a ride to the Hideout? Seems like Munson drank a little too much."
" Of course." She said standing up.
"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to cut the movie short."
She laughed. " Don't worry about it, the Munson type needs you."
You chuckled lightly. " Thanks."
-
You walked into the Hideout after waving Nancy goodbye.
" Hey Nick. Where is he?" You asked the bartender.
" THERE SHE IS!" Eddie shouted. "There's my girl."
You sighed. " Nick. Coffee please."
"Already on it Hun." Said the scary looking man with the longest beard you have ever seen. He might look intimidating but he was just a big ol' teddy bear.
Finally reaching your best friend, you put your hand on his lower back. " Hey bud. Ready to go home?"
" After this next round." Eddie slurred a little. Holding up a coffee mug. " Yooo hoo. Bar keep. Fill 'er up."
Damn Munson. Too much tonight.
You've been around Eddie countless times when he was like this. But, it made it so much hard to get him to listen to you. He was a stubborn drunk.
Nick filled his mug and you waited until he finished it. Hoping it would sober him up enough to get him in his van.
"Give me the keys Munson." You ordered, opening your hand to him.
" Nope, no." He said through a burp. He then stood up from the stool.
" You can't drive like this bud."
" Pfff baby... I... I can do anything."
If he wasn't so hammered, you would have smacked him upside the head for calling you that.
He then downed the rest of his coffee and started for the exit.
"Munson, give me the keys and I'll make you some cookies."
He stopped and turned around slowly. With glee in his beautiful brown eyes and a grin on his lips. You swore that guy could get away with murder. All he had to do was bat his long eyelashes and smile.
"Promise? Like promise promise?"
" I promise. Cross my heart-" and just before you could finish he interrupted you.
" And hope to die!" He chuckled. Tossing you the keys.
While turning around on his heel, he lost his balance for just a second and caught himself. " ONWARD!" He said, raising both arms above his head and pointed to the door.
You hung your head and pinched the bridge of your nose.
God you're cute.
Once outside, you walked to the van. Eddie then decided to rush to open the drivers side door. Pushing you to the side. "Nope. Allow me. M'lady."
You couldn't help but smile." Good sir."
You climbed in and he closed the door.
You adjusted the steering wheel and watched him walk around the front of the van. And boom. He fell.
You leaned forward gripping the steering wheel looking for him. " Oh shit! Munson!"
He immediately jumped right back up and pointed at the ground. "Hey who put that rock there?"
You laughed so hard your stomach cramp.
He looked at you and laughed too while he cleaned himself off. " I'm alright best friend. Thanks for asking."
You laughed even harder and motioned him to get in. With a little hop in his step he got in.
...
Eddie sobered during the drive. So much so that he decided to roll a joint while you made him cookies. You always left the ingredients for them in his trailer. Just in case you guys ever got the munchies and he requested them.
The timer went off and his head shot up at the sound.
"They just need a few minutes to cool. Okay?" You laughed, while cleaning the mess you just made.
Eddie pouted as he lit up the joint.
He then started to hum a little tune.
You smiled. Hold the line by Toto.
You ended up working on all the dishes that were left in the sink. Singing to yourself with him. About half way through he came and leaned up against the kitchen counter. Holding out the joint for you.
"I can't my hands are wet."
He then moved closer to you and held it to your lips. You took a moment to think about how his fingers would touch your lips. The thought made your tummy do a back flip.
You inhaled and held the smoke until your lungs burned. You blew the smoke upwards and turned to gaze over to Eddie. He was having a stare contest with the cookies on the stove.
You lightly chuckled and looked back and down at the dishes." Go ahead bud."
He practically skipped to the oven. "mmm how do you get them to so soft?" He asked, while shoving an entire cookie in his mouth.
"Oh a little of this and a little of that."
He narrowed his eyes at you. " Fine. Keep your secrets."
You glanced at him for a second and saw him take another bite. Both of his cheeks filled. Making him look like a super cute chipmunk.
He then picking up another cookie and put out the joint.
" Here." He offered.
" I'm good bud. Those are for you."
" Nope you gotta have one. They're the best." He said while moving towards you. Holding it up to your mouth.
You move your head away, already feeling the joint kick in. "I'm ok Munson. Let me finish these up."
He moved closer. "Open up for the choo choo train."
You took a step back from the sink, dropping water on the floor.
Eddie wasn't paying attention when he followed after you.
"Oh common y/n- OH SH-"
He slipped and fell forward onto you. Both ended up on the floor. His full weight nearly knocked out your wind. You took a second to realize what just happened. He was now hovering over you practically straddling one of your thighs.
Then a case of the giggles hit you both.
"See you should have just ate the damn cookie." He said while leaning his lower half on yours. "You okay?"
" Y-yeah." You gasped while your face turned red from laughing so much.
Still with the cookie in his hand, he shook his head at you then popped it into his mouth.
Your guy's laughter faded.
He stared down at you and started lightly stroking your hair.
You raised your hand to tuck his behind his ear. Afterwards, you smile. You always wanted to do that.
A moment passed and you noticed him staring at your lips. But before you could actually process what he was about to do, he lowered his face to yours. Leaving a sloppy wet kiss on your lips.
Your eyes widen at the act. And even more so when he cupped your face and kissed harder. He then mumbled something that sounded like he said how soft your lips were.
When he let up, he rested his forehead on your collarbone.
You bit your lip, tasting the cinnamon sugar and weed he left on them. Making your heart race so fast that you thought it was gonna explode. He then sighed and rolled off. Laying next to you.
You laid there quietly for a minute to collect your thoughts.
Why did he do that? Like it isn't hard enough being in love with him. He goes and does something like that.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the small snores he suddenly was making.
" Munson?" You whispered." Common wake up. Go to bed." You nudged him. Feeling his chest rise up and down under your palm.
"Munson?" You repeated.
"shhhh I'm sleeping." He mummers.
"Edward get up and go to bed."
He sat up so quick at sound of his name. "alright alright! Geez I'm goin'."
You watched as he got up and headed to his room. He grunted as he flopped down on mattress.
You got up and finished the dishes with your thoughts screaming at you.
Once you were done you went to check on him.
He was laying flat on his stomach. You grabbed the blanket at his feet and pulled it over him. Wishing you could climb in with him. However, you thought that would be too much for you to handle right now. So you made the choice to sleep in uncle Wayne's spot on the couch. You kicked off your shoes and laid down. Pulling the couch throw blanket over you.
There was a question that seemed to haunt you until you finally fell asleep.
We had a moment. Right?
Your dreams were merciless that night.
...
The Sunday morning sun shinned right in your eyes.
Ugh!
You sat up and rubbed your eyes. After giving yourself a minute to wake up, you folded the blanket and put it back from where you got it. Then you went to make breakfast for Eddie and Wayne. First checking in on the butt head of your relentless dreams.
Still sound asleep. When did you take off your clothes?
You blushed when you saw him in just boxers. Curious eyes running over his body. Admiring his tattoos. Also taking in his pecks and flat tummy. Even his little happy trail. It was like you had never seen him without a shirt before.
"Alright perv." You said to yourself. "Gawking at your half naked friend isn't creepy at all."
You closed the bedroom door and returned to the kitchen. Opening up the fridge, you pulled out a carton of eggs and some bacon.
Making breakfast for the Munson's on Sunday mornings was always the highlight of your weekend.
Standing at the stove you began humming Renegade by Styx and began to work.
You wrapped up the finished plates in tin foil and worked on cleaning up. That's when Wayne walked through the front door.
You smiled at him. "Morning Mr. Munson."
" Morning sweetheart. Smells good." He said, sounding exhausted. But you could hear him try to be a little perky for you.
You looked so tired.
"Working doubles again?" You asked.
He walked over to the dining table, taking a seat and setting down his lunch pail on the floor. You grabbed his plate and a fork and set it in front of him.
"Thanks sweetie." he sighed. " Yup. Looks like it for the foreseeable future."
You grab the syrup for the pancakes you made last minute, and 2 glasses of orange juice. Setting it down at the table. Then you sat across from him. Grabbing a banana from the bundle that was resting on the counter behind you.
" I'm sorry Mr. Munson."
You sat there looking to his face. Seeing all the wrinkles and gray hair. You felt bad for Eddie's uncle. He worked so damn hard for himself and Eddie. He busts his ass to make money for a company that pay him barely enough to keep food on the table.
You thought about Eddie dealing to help out as well. You didn't care for it but you always told him. Do what you gotta do.
You watched as Wayne ate slowly. You were just about to say something but Eddie came walking in.
" You know people are trying to sleep here right?" He groaned while pouring a cup of coffee.
You move your attention from Wayne to him. Still no shirt but he had put on some grey sweatpants that hung loosely from his narrowed hips. As he moved to the other side of the counter next to you, he placed his breakfast down and hopped up onto the counter. You caught a glimpse of his package bouncing as he jumped.
You averted your eyes. Dear God!
"Morning son." Wayne said. " You plan on giving y/n a ride home anytime soon?" He looked at you. " Not saying you can't stay. But you know how rowdy my nephew gets when you're here. And I do plan on sleeping today."
You smiled. Loving the way Eddie got all bothered because of you.
Without saying anything Eddie nodded while shoveling eggs into his mouth, taking a sip of coffee afterwards.
" Alright. Get her home safe. "Wayne sighed and got up from his seat. " I'm gonna shower and hit the hay." He came over to you and kissed the top of your head. " Thank you for breakfast sweetheart. Don't let my nephew get into any trouble."
" I'll do my best sir."
He smiled. " If anyone can. It's you."
You grinned. That's where Eddie gets his kindness from.
Wayne then placed the dirty dishes in the sink and headed to the shower.
You sat patiently while Eddie finished his food too. You began peeling your banana and heard him clear his throat. You look up. While taking another sip of coffee he looked at you and raised one of his eyebrows.
" Seriously Munson? It's too early for your shit."
He chuckled while you shook your head.
He hurried and finished his breakfast. After putting his dishes away, he went to grab a shirt. You threw your peel away and grabbed your purse. Just then Wayne came out while you and Eddie were heading for the door.
You looked over. " Good night Mr. Munson."
" Good night sweetheart." He responded.
" Hey! How come he can call you by a nickname?" Eddie questioned. Turning around to face you and pointing towards his uncle.
" Because Munson. I actually like him." You said, while pushing him out the trailer. You waved to Wayne while he let out an exhausted laugh.
...
The car ride felt so long. You smiled and laughed listening to Eddie singing along to Master of Puppets. Every once in a while doing an air solo on his imaginary guitar.
As the song came to a close. You reach to turn down the volume.
" Hey did you ever finish learning that solo?"
"Nope." He sighed. " I keep messing up the riff."
" That's ok. You will get it eventually." You said beaming a smile at him. Making him grin back.
He pulled up into the driveway and put the van in park. You both sat in silence. It being quite deafening. You reach for the door handle when he began to talk.
" y/n? Uhh..."
You look back at your best friend.
"Y/n. Did I-" He cut off. Looking for the right way to ask you.
A few seconds passed
" Words Munson." You teased.
" Uh right." He let out an awkward chuckle. " Did-did I kiss you last night? Because I ummm. Either I did or I had the most vivid dream."
His question sent heat through your entire body. You anticipated this conversation. But, not so soon. Not right now.
Your hands drop into your lap. You couldn't look at him or say anything. You just played with your fingers. Anxiety creeping up on you like some type of monster. You closed your eyes and bit your lip to hold the beast back. Then you felt him burning a hole on the side of your face.
" SHIT! I did huh?"
All you could do was nod.
" Fuck y/n! I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."
You could hear how apologetic he was. He really didn't mean to kiss you. Along with nervousness, sadness decided to join the party.
Eddie felt truly terrible about the kiss. But he felt even worse for making you anxious. So he placed his big callused hand over yours.
The touch of his skin on yours made how you were feeling a little less intense.
" It's ok." You said just above a whisper. Staring at his rings. " It uh it was nice."
You looked up at him.
Those fucking eyes. I seriously hate his eyes. Makes me feel like agreeing to anything.
You half smiled. " It really was a nice first kiss. It was sweet." You lightly laughed. " Literally."
Eddie's expression turned from worried that he fucked up to shock.
" Okay hold on. What?! First kiss?!"
The words brought back the anxiety.
Shit!
" That was your first kiss? Wait wait wait. What about Scotty? That one time you guys did the 7 minutes in heaven thing?"
" Try an eternity in hell." You scoffed " We just sat in the closet staring at the door."
"Really? You looked... Well you looked like you had."
" It was 98 degrees that day Munson. Locked in a small closet for 7 minutes. Ugh I'm sure if I had balls, I would have sweated them off."
You both let out a half hearted laugh then sat for a few moments.
He tilted his head a little. "So... Just nice huh?"
You nodded. " It was a little sloppy but hey at least you tasted good."
You immediately shut your mouth. Shit! That doesn't sound weird at all.
" I uh mean you had a mouth full of cookie. So you tasted like cinnamon."
"Ohhh. Okay. I was gonna say. Did we do more than kiss?"
" No. No. Nope. Just the one kiss."
Good save. You sighed to yourself.
Eddie nodded and lifted his hand to the back of his neck to rub it. Now you knew he was getting nervous.
" Was that really your first kiss?"
" Yes Munson." You said a little irritated.
"Well shit y/n! I can't let that be your first kiss."
You jerked your head back. " Uhh what?"
"Nice! Just nice!"
" Again Munson. What?"
" Y/n c'mon. Your first kiss should be... Something. It should be better than just nice."
You knew what he was gonna say. Even though you really wanted to. You said a silent prayer to the universe that he would just let it go.
" We gotta do it again." He suggested.
Guess not.
"Uh that's gonna be a no bud." You said, trying to play the part. " One's enough. Thanks though."
" Oh c'mon sweetie." He teased.
You finally turned to him and raised your hand to smack his arm. But before you could he grabbed your wrist.
" Seriously y/n." He said in his let's be serious right now tone. "Let me make it up to you. Let me redeem myself. I can't have my best friend thinking I'm a sloppy kisser."
Why do you care what I think about how you kiss?
" Umm. How about no Munson."
He let go of your wrist.
"Y/n if I can't redo this, my reputation will go down the drain...Eddie 'the freak' Munson is a nice kisser. NICE!"
" Hey! What did I say about calling yourself that? You're not a freak Munson. A butthead maybe. Overly dramatic? Definitely. But you are not a freak. Do you honestly think I would be friends with a freak?"
He sunk back in the seat. "Well no. But then again, are we really friends if you won't let me fix this?"
Your eyes met again. He stared at you with pleading puppy dog eyes. Pouting his bottom lip.
"Fuck! Alright Munson." You agreed while climbing out of his rust bucket.
Eddie raised his arms in victory but his hands hit the roof of the van. " Shit! Ouch." He wailed while rubbing his hands together in effort to ease the pain.
"See you tonight?" He called out the window while you made your way into your home.
" Call before you come over."
" Will do." He shouted over his engine roaring. " Love you baby."
You narrowed your eyes at him and gave him the bird. He left cracking up knowing he was getting under your skin.
You rolled your eyes and smiled.
Love you too.
-
"Hey honey. Where you've been?" Your dad asked looking up from the TV in your direction.
" Hi dad." You said closing the door. "I'm just getting back from the Munson's."
" Oh. You stayed the night again? I thought you and Nancy were having a girl's night." your Dad asked returned his attention to the TV.
"Yeah. But things came up."
"How did Eddie's boyfriend feel about you staying over all the time?"
Your head snapped towards him. " Uh what?"
" I hope he doesn't get to jealous that Eddie has a girl spending the night so often. Especially since you probably share a bed."
"Dad...Eddie doesn't have a boyfriend."
"No? Huh? Well don't worry honey. A good looking boy like that won't stay single for long. Especially now that he's added that bandana to his wardrobe."
Completely dumbfounded, you tried to comprehend what your father just said. Your dad thinks your best friend is gay.
Holy shit.
You ran your index and middle finger across your brows. Touching your cheek with the bruise. Drawn your hand back at the soreness. For just a moment you forgot.
You pushed those feelings away and was bombarded with new ones. Ones that were overwhelming you more and more each second that passed.
Kissing Eddie.... Again. Well this is gonna hurt like a bitch. When did my life become a fuckin' soap opera?
...
While listening to Queens album A Night at the Opera, you tried you best to work on your homework. But the thought of Eddie's full lips all soft and moist kept you from focusing.
Common girl. Get your shit together.
Your foot bouncing up and down. Shaking the desk.
Nope. We can't. I can't. It's just gonna break my heart. He wouldn't want to be seen hand in hand with some beached whale. He would never see me more than a friend.
You let those thoughts hurt you a little more for a minute. You then looked at the time.
7:30. Shit, the day went too fast.
Not sure what time Eddie would call, you figured you had time to shower. You made up your mind. It wasn't gonna happen. You weren't gonna let Eddie go through with it.
You grabbed your PJs that consist of a long sleeved button up green and black flannel that came down just above your knees and white cotton panties with a small green bow in the front.
All the while reassured yourself that it was the right move and went to shower. Wallowing until you heard the scratch of the album ending.
You hurried and dried off. Then got dressed. When you walked in you saw Eddie flipping the record over.
You jumped up in shock with your wrapped up hair becoming slight loose.
" Jesus H. Christ Munson!"
Eddie held up his hands so that he could show you he wasn't a threat. " Your pops let me in."
" You were suppose to call."
" Uh damn....yeah I forgot." He shrugged. " Sorry."
It was in this moment you realized your thick legs were showing. He had never seen you like this. No bra and half naked. The thought made you feel disgusted with yourself.
Eddie quickly turned around at the full sight of you. " Crap! Sorry y/n."
You move to your dresser and pulled out some leggings. Hurrying into them.
"Decent?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.
" Y-yeah." You stuttered.
The record began to play. And of course it would be playing 'Your My Best Friend' Why wouldn't the universe make you the butt of it's cruel joke?
Not cool man.
Eddie began his approach. To be completely honest. He was so damn nervous about this. All day he was running how he was going to kiss you. It had to be perfect. You deserved the perfect kiss. Out of everyone he knew, you were on the short list of most important people. So no matter what, he had to make sure that this was absolutely flawless.
You put up your hand as soon and he got close enough for you to touch his chest.
With your heart nearly pounding out of your chest you sighed and walked past him to your bed. " Munson we can't. It will be...it's gonna be weird."
He watched you walk away from him. " It will only be weird if you make it weird." He said while tilting his head and smirking.
Wise words.
"We're friends bud. Friends don't make out."
He jerked his head back and furrowed his brow. " Who said we're gonna make out?"
You bit your lip not sure what to say.
" Listen, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to y/n." He said, bending his knees so he could meet your eye level. " I was just trying to make up for giving you a shitty first kiss."
You were silent for a few moments.
Are you really considering this? Crap.
" Alright." You whispered. "But, we won't ever speak of this again."
He agree with a scouts honor.
You let out a long shaky breath. With Eddie closing the distance. Your breath quickened and your chest rose and fell faster and faster. You didn't dare look him in the eyes. Because you knew if you did, all he would have to do was ask and you would give him your virginity too.
He pulled at the towel that wrapped up your hair gently, taking it off. Your damp locks falling down your back. He moved one of his hands to tuck your hair behind your ear. Accidentally hitting your bruised cheek. You flinch slightly.
" Shit sorry." He whispered. Placing a small kiss on your cheek.
You felt flushed. And you really hoped that he couldn't tell how nervous you were. You could have died right there. How much you've longed for him to do this. Dream after dream. Finally a real kiss.
He spoke softly. " Pretty girl still so shy huh?"
He then put up his arm like he always did when you were about to smack him. But to his surprise you didn't.
"Y-you ok?" He stammered.
You nodded. Because you couldn't find the words.
" Use your words Y/n." He taunted.
Then they came. "Fuck Munson! Will you just kiss me already!?"
He gave you the biggest smirk you had ever seen. His rough hand lifting your chin to make you meet his gaze. He slowly bent down to meet your height. Just as his lips were about to touch yours. A giggle came up from your chest and out your mouth, right into his face.
He pulled back just a little and hung his head. Your laughter making him laugh too.
He shook off the laughter. " What's so funny chuckles?"
You forced yourself to calm down. "I'm sorry Munson...I just umm." You cleared your throat. " What do I do with my hands?"
The question made Eddie toss his head back and let out a throaty laugh.
You held back your need to join. Even though it was hard as hell.
He didn't say anything. He just grabbed your right hand placing it on his waist. The cold of his rings felt so good against your warm skin. He had stopped laughing now and grabbed your other arm to do the same thing.
Once he had your hands in place he moved his to your hip. You moved a little because you felt embarrassed from where he grabbed a love handle. But he dug his fingers in and pulled you closer. Bringing his other hand under your chin again.
"You sure?" He whispered again.
You closed your eyes and felt his hot breath against your lips.
" Y-yes."
You made a small whimper as his lips touched yours. His lips sent what felt like liquid fire through your veins. They were way softer than you remembered.
You couldn't help but move your hands up to the collar of his shirt to pull him closer. But even that wasn't enough. So you stood on your tippy toes. When you did that you felt him let go of your chin and cup the back of your head. It was like no matter how close you were he wanted to be closer. And God, was it so good.
You even forgot to breathe. You were holding your breath trying your best to follow the rhythm he had set for you two. He pulled at your hip so that your whole body was flush with his. In the process, you opened your mouth a bit more. In which he then slid his tongue in. Swirling it in your mouth. Teasing yours.
This was million times better than you imagined.
The kiss slowed and as he pulled away he bit your bottom lip lightly. Pulling it slightly and then releasing it. You sucked on it to savor the taste of him one last time before letting go and pressing your lips together. Finally able to breathe again.
Eddie stepped back holding onto your arms. He looked you over for a second and almost freaked out.
What the hell was that? He thought.
He then lowering himself to try and meet your gaze again.
When you finally opened your eyes you caught a glimpse of that the ugly hickey on his neck. Bringing you back to earth. You felt your heart breaking right then and there.
You dryly swallowed the lump that grew in your throat.
Play it cool y/n. Play it cool. You chanted to yourself.
" I think...I liked the first one more." You broke the silence and met his doe like eyes. Not knowing what else to say.
Eddie couldn't get his thoughts together so he did what he always did. He joked around. He took a step back and grabbed his heart like he was shot.
You both laughed and you did your best to blink away the tears that were forming.
"S-so?" He asked. No longer joking around.
" I uh ... can see why you get so many dates."
He smirked. "Aww shucks. Thanks princess."
You stepped towards him and smacked his arm.
"Ouch!" He joked. " There's my girl." He lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck.
You shook your head. Why are you nervous?
He cleared his throat. " See ya tomorrow?"
You faked a smile. " See you tomorrow bud."
He grinned at you before giving you a quick hug. He then turned to leave and just as he stepped out of your room you called after him.
" Hey Munson...My dad thinks you're gay."
He spun around. "WHAT!?"
You walked to him and just grinned. " Thought you should know. . . Kay bye."
You closed the door on your wide eyed friend.
After, you climbed into bed and turned off the light and sniffled a little.
Yup. It hurt.
-
Eddie stood there flabbergasted. He had no idea what to think.
First, he adjusted his chubby that was suddenly there. Secondly, that had to have been the best kiss he has ever had. And finally, he was most definitely not gay.
When he got to the van he just sat there for a minute going over the kiss again. The way you pulled him closer. The way you whimpered and how he wanted more. How he wanted to keep going. It was almost as if....
" Nah. Nope. The kiss was only good because I tried really hard."
He chuckled a little and took one last look at your window.
" Goodnight pretty girl."
...
The next few weeks went by so fast. All your free time was filled with AA meetings or picking up extra shifts so you could work on saving money for Christmas. November was just around the corner. Late start for you this year. Between school, writing and work. You spent a little less time with Eddie. Not enough for him to notice but even if he did you had a perfectly good explanation.
To be honest, you actually tried to avoid him. It was hard being around him. Especially, after the kiss. When you were with him, you would catch yourself staring at his lips. Or you would constantly daydream about kissing again. So it clearly had to stop. And the only way to get it to, was to create distance. Even if it was skipping lunch period to hide in the library. But then something happened.
You got sick.
You woke up on a Wednesday morning feeling so cold with a sore throat. You sat up in bed feeling super nauseous and when you stood up, your body ached so bad you could barely move.
What's going on?
Your dad took you to the doctor's office when you came down looking like death. When the nurse called you back you let him know he didn't have to come back with you. After all you were an adult.
You had him stop going in with you for a while now. Once he had gone in with you and the nurse asking about your last menstrual cycle. Also, if you were sexually active.
You and your father were so embarrassed, but ever since then you let him know that you would be fine without him. You were sure he was relieved when you said it.
On your way home you were so tired but very angry. You told your dad that you had a really bad case of the flu. And that the doctor said you can go back to school once you feel better.
After the first week you felt good enough to make it downstairs and throw yourself on the couch. Your dad shouted from the kitchen.
"Y/n? Is that you honey?"
"Who else would it be?" You groaned.
Ugh. Period starting soon. You're being a bitch.
You whined and wrapped yourself tighter in the blanket you came down with.
" Here you go." Your dad said while placing a bowl of soup in front of you.
You gave him a thin lip smile and started to eat. The warm broth soothing your incredibly sore throat.
" Eddie called again."
Your rolled your eyes and ignored him.
" Honey don't you think you should talk to him. It's been a week. He sounds real worried about you." He paused for a second. "S-so am I. Who has the flu for this long? Maybe you got strep throat or something?"
"Yeah maybe."
" Well do you need anything before I head to work?"
You shook your head. Dad patted your back and took off to start his day. You turned on the TV and laid down.
It wasn't long after when you heard pounding on the front door. A familiar voice shouting your name.
You open the door still dawning the blanket. Rage filled your eyes when you saw the guy who made you sick holding a bouquet of daisies and his signature grin. Of course.
"Hi."
You didn't even have a second thought before you lunged. Smacking his arm a total of two times. You originally swung four times but missed the first two because he dodge them.
"EDWARD. FUCKING. MUNSON!" You yell while smacking. "MONO?! YOU GAVE ME MONO!"
Eddie put his hands up to stop you from coming closer to hit him again. But by that time, you were keeled over trying to breathe.
" y/n I'm sorry." He kept repeating over and over. " I swear I didn't know I had it....again."
You didn't want to hear him anymore. While standing up you flipped him off and went into the house. Throwing yourself back on the couch.
Eddie stuck his head in the doorway of the living room. "You know you could use some anger management sessions."
You scowled at him but saw empathy in his eyes. He looked like a scared lamb.
"You uhhh you calm now?"
You waved your hand and sighed. Throat hurting too much to speak now. After the initial wave of anger you did relax and took some medicine.
Eddie took off his jacket and tossed it on your dad's recliner. Then he set the flowers down on the side table.
He walked around the couch and lifted your head so that you could rest it in his lap. " I really am sorry y/n."
The way he sounded made you believe him. He was such a sweet guy. He would never purposefully put you in harms way.
Eddie then surprised you by stroking your hair and hummed something. You couldn't put your finger on it but it sounded nice. So nice that you actually dozed off for a second.
" Don't worry pretty girl." He said softly. "I'll take care of you."
" W-why do you keep calling me that?"
"Calling you what? ... Pretty girl?"
You moved your head just enough for him to understand.
" Because. You're a pretty girl."
" Wo-woman." You mumbled, weakly picking up your index finger on the hand that was close to your face. Letting it fall back down.
You opened your eyes just a bit after hearing a small chuckle coming from him. Then closed them back again. You fought for just a few more seconds to be awake before surrendering.
" Don't say it if...if you don't mean it." You said very low now.
He leaned in so he could hear you. His curls tickling your face. His response put a sweet smile across your lips.
"I would never lie to you."
"Promise?" You asked just before you fell asleep.
" Promise promise." He answered while leaning back into the couch. Still stroking your hair. " I think you're a beautiful girl."
...
You finally made it back to school two weeks later. Despite your father calling the doctors to find out why you were still sick. Getting the answer that it was doctor/patient confidentiality. He was suspicious but eventually gave up.
You made your way through the cafeteria and sat at your normal spot. Ignoring the farm animal noises that people thought were so funny.
Everyone at the table welcomed you back. You look at Eddie's empty chair.
Dustin noticed you looking. " He uhh he skipped." He answering the question before you could ask it.
Shaking your head. "How is this kid supposed to graduate this year if he keeps skipping? He better have a damn good excuse."
"Oh he does." Gareth blurted out before being nudged by Dustin.
You looked back and forth between Gareth and Dustin. "Oh-kay... What's going on?"
Dustin hesitated but answered. " He uhhhhh he ummmm skipped."
You sighed. "Yeah...I got that part."
Gareth couldn't take the tension and practically announced it to the entire cafeteria. "Eddie skipped with his girlfriend."
WHAT THE FUCK!!
"Oh-oh....ermmm....okay."
That's all you could say.
Girlfriend?
...
250 notes · View notes
iceysghost · 2 years
Text
NXX Boys with a Sick Significant Other: Part 2
Tears of Themis: Artem Wing x Rosa (MC) Reader
Word Count: 1,196 Words
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Your head was spinning, and your face was unbearably hot. It didn't matter, because there was still so much to complete. Papers had to be signed, strategies had to be made; clients are waiting for a lawyer who could defend them, clear them of guilt, possibly even save their lives—
"Rosa?"
"Hm? Oh! Yes! I'm sorry for the trouble, I'll be sure to work double-time, I'm aware of my responsibilities as a partner—"
"I was going to ask if you wanted a break."
"A—a break, huh... well, th—th—there's work I still have to do, it's getting late, you should relax, I'll take care of it!" You chuckled awkwardly.
"You're not normally like this, Rosa. Your face is flushed."
Your eyes widened. How embarrassing! Blushing in front of your work partner: quick, think of an excuse!
“Well, it is quite hot, so…”
“Hot? Are you alright?”
Immediately, Artem dropped his pen and reached to touch your face. “You’re so hot. I mean, as in, temperature-wise.” His face became nearly as flushed as yours.
“Artem, I’m fine, I can still work—”
Before you could protest, he was leading you to his bedroom. He did it so quickly that you couldn't keep up, but he took careful attention to every move you made. He was like a robot, carefully scanning every body part. Rosa. Consciousness: Stable. Target Acquired: Book. Clear Obstruction from Stairs Immediately.
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While in bed, you were still worried. You really wanted to continue working, but this guy, who should be supportive of your hard work, was preventing you from it! You were this close to getting out of bed, storming down the stairs, and yelling into his face about how important your clients are—
“I brought you some things.”
You looked at him. He was so cute. Nevermind.
His tie was out, and he was holding a tray of several things that could topple any second. It was messy, but you could feel from your side of the room how hard he worked to make it for you. It wasn’t much, heck, it was more than much, and it was also honest work. How good was that?
He sat down at your side and made you sit too. He placed down the tray, and you expected him to start the care session by giving an entire opening statement on the Benefits Of Everything He Had On The Tray. In the end, it was similar to a speech, but came from his warm heart and not his sharp mind.
“Rosa, I’m your partner. You can always tell me if you’re tired, or sick, or if you can’t take the work anymore. And I’m not only your work partner either. We’re romantic partners, too. You can hug and kiss and need me whenever you want.” For a bit, it was as if he was just a coworker to you. You were so focused on work that you forgot that the two of you were finally dating, and even tried to cover your blush…
“Artem, I wasn’t! Well, I was tired and sick, but I wanted to keep working. You told me that a lawyer dreams of a world where they are no longer needed. And I’m striving for that. I want to be able to help my clients  because people are crying and dying—”
“Do you think you’ll be able to help them when you’re tired and sick? If you fail to take care of yourself, who will take care of them? Before focusing on the lives of everyone in the world, focus on yourself, because that one life is the only life that you'll be able to use to help."
His voice was already raised slightly, but you were not scared. He only ever raised his voice when he was concerned. Your plan to rage at him was suddenly the stupidest thing you'd ever heard of. I guess one of the consequences of being tired and sick is extreme moodiness.
"I'll check your temperature. I also have a towel bath, some medicine, warm soup, water, and tissues. Oh, and some books. Non-law related, of course." After inserting an old-style thermometer in your mouth, he asked, "What other things do you want to do to pass the time?"
"Chuuess?" It was hard for you to speak. He laughed, no: giggled, took out the thermometer and inserted a modern one in between your armpits. "I'll fetch my chess set."
You and Artem read together and played chess. Of course, he still struggled to keep up with the ridiculous chess rules you made on-the-dot just so you could win. He didn't go easy on you, but with effort you won twice out of more than ten matches.
He knew that your sickness was probably contagious, so he didn't want to sleep beside you because it could infect him. You never saw him go to bed, or wake up, so you were never really sure on how long he slept for. But by the next day, you knew his sleep was just not enough.
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You knocked on his office door, alongside your boss. No answer. Celestine knocked a second time, but harder. Still no reply. She looked at you, smirked and walked away. Seems it was your turn to find out what was happening inside of that office.
You slowly opened the door, and called out in a soft voice. "Artem?" 
You laughed at the irony. Here he was, falling asleep on his own desk while doing work.
You walked towards his desk and stopped down to his level. You kissed him once or twice on the cheek, and he woke up quickly. "Rosa?"
"Now, if you fail to take care of yourself, who will take care of me, hm?" It was fun to tease him every once in a while.
"Ah. Well—" His eyes flit to one book. It was slightly buried under different files. He was hiding something.
You reached for it quickly. There was no title on the cover. so you turned to the bookmark. Chapter 14: How to Take Care of Your Sick Girlfriend.
"Artem!" You laughed.
"I—ahem, Rosa, please don't talk about it!" He was so flustered, like a dense, senior attorney tsundere. His voice was surprisingly stern, which made it all the funnier.
"It's fine, you executed it really well anyways, I surely have a story to tell to Kiki later—"
Your sentence was cut off. He gently kissed you. Woah. The fact that he did this so suddenly, and in his office? It was enough to stun you.
"Please, Rosa, don't tell this to anyone." He wasn't a tsundere anymore now, just Artem feeling embarrassed after doing something so painstakingly attractive. He was still so cute, and the way his laugh and voice rang out gave you butterflies way after the crush phase.
"Alright. Next time, refer to this book only when I'm stubborn. You can always ask me what I want. Besides, communication is key!" You pecked him on the forehead.
Artem didn't reply. He was just amazed about how Rosa was able to recover so quickly. Well, uuunbeknownst to him, it was because of how good of a boyfriend he really was. 
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A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize again for not posting in a while, I have been Unable To Write due to immenseeee schoolwork. We'll be having our final exams anytime soon, so I can't exactly promise that I'll post more.
It's been several days since @ollieisdumb requested this. Hello, Ollie! I hope that by now you've already recovered, but still feel free to read the rest of the series even though you don't exactly need it now, haha > <
Following my timezone, it's already very early morning of the 27th, but still HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTEM WING!
Thank you for the support! I'm very glad to have several notes and followers, and that as I get more consistent with my posting, your positive feedback will also be consistent and increase eventually.
Having said that, I received a request from an Anon (if you're reading this, hello Anon! I'll make a separate post to reply to you directly later.). The request was The NXX Boys with an Assassin S/O. Specifically, an S/O similar to Yor Forger (Spy × Family), but more emotionless and ruthless. I plan to start this request after finishing the Luke and Marius parts of this series.
Thank you for reading, everyone! Have a nice day :)
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kittytheartist · 2 years
Text
Akane Aoi head cannons !!
my Akane brain rot says you get head cannons
he likes to wear oversized crop tops but is too embarrassed to wear out in public.
horror movies scare him easily and he always jumps no matter how much he tries not too. even when he tries to impress Aoi..
he likes reptiles/Lizards and Elephants...
he owns a Desert spiny Lizard, and named it 'Aoi' after his childhood friend.
he HATES when people use the wrong Grammer or refuse to take care of themselves properly. it really gets on his nerves
he has a slight unaware crush on Yamabuki and will never find out that he does. bc I mean, everyone wonders what it's like to kiss your friend..
he's ambidextrous! but uses his right hand most of the time by default bc Aoi does.
he has Internalized homophobia and can't accept that he likes guys.
Akane knows and loves Folklore dancing ! he actually takes classes three times a month :)
his favorite thing about Aoi he refused to say was when she cries. he just finds it unbearable cute when people cry, especially the people he cares about.
he legit got a potted plant to put in the student council room and named it 'president' to confuse Teru when he speaks to the plant bc he's an asshole.
he has Sanpaku eyes but tries to keep them as normal as possible around Aoi bc she mentioned how pretty and wide Nene's eyes are.
he's a Taurus !
he wears his glasses on his head a lot when he doesn't feel like dealing with the glasses in the way of his vision
he not only loves Raspberry treats or anything raspberry, he also loves everything blueberry ! especially blueberry pastries.
he has two Dad's I'm sorry but it's facts to me (but Akane being raised by two powerful mom's sticks with me-)
he's crazy good at volleyball and Tennis and no one has ever beaten him (except Aoi in Tennis once)
he hates artificial tastes ! they make him sick and honestly piss him off.
that's all for now, just a short simple head cannons list !
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mirohtron · 3 years
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Umm ok so you literally just posted it but could you continue the villain whump snippet about them being alone, maybe with some fluff and love for this babey, because I've only known them for 15 minutes and I'm already attached, you've given me so many feels, I love it! Thank you, and I love your writing :)
note: i failed rlly hard at the caretaking part im so sorry bro the babie went through emotional turmoil before they went through the comfort part of hurt/comfort 😭
HARD tw: shattered bones, mentions of throwing up, thoughts about dying, severe self worth issues, panic attack
first part
When the villain opened the door to their apartment, the first thing the intruder had done was break their wrist.
Villain was going to throw up. The pungent smell of soap was invading their lungs now and their vision was tunneling into one small grey circle on the ground. The colour of their tiles.
The intruder shut the door close. Villain had it coming. Villain had it coming. No one would miss them if they were to disappear. They had it coming.
A knife settled beneath their chin. Black boots were in front of them. Someone was addressing them. They were going to push the knife forward. It would be mercy. With time their wrist would only become worse. Maybe it would become so bad they'd have to chop it off. Killing the villain was mercy.
Their chin was tipped up. A mask came into view. It was slowly becoming blurry. Villain was running out of air. Their lungs wouldn't expand any further. They should've passed out in the street. They should've been a nobody.
The coldness in their chin was gone. Hot tears were already running down the side of their cheeks and the villain didn't know what was going to happen next. Maybe the intruder would make them walk on shattered ankles.
Maybe this was the hero who'd told them to put a sock in it. Maybe they got sick of the villain and wanted to finish them off. Good riddance.
The intruder came closer. They slapped the villain. It didn't hurt. It didn't even snap their head to the side. Did their nerve endings die? Wasn't this the side of their face that wasn't bruised?
Where was their arm? They tried to move their bad arm but it ignited into a burning pain going up to their shoulder. Just from a shattered wrist. They were going to get sick.
"Hey? Hey," the intruder demanded. Mockingly. They didn't need to yell it. Villain's throat was starting to feel bruised. They looked back on their days. They couldn't remember anything important. What about their days getting the degree they never used? Nothing. School? Something with crude fish drawings and grainy projections in classes and something about paper cranes with a long forgotten busmate. They didn't remember highschool. Villain was going to die an empty shell. Okay.
The intruder took their good hand, and even that had a few knuckles split and bleeding. They squeezed. Maybe they'd break that entire hand. Put their knife through it.
"Carson," they called. "Carson!"
Oh. They weren't alone. Maybe there was a group. Maybe they'd all beat the villain up and leave them to die. In their apartment smelling of detergent. Someone appeared from the small doorway that led to their pathetically small kitchen. What did it mean for them to live, either way? No one would miss them and no one would be thankful that they were alive. The person from the kitchen came close and bent down, pushing the other person away.
"They're having an attack."
"I know."
Oh. Yes. Villain was. They didn't deserve it. It was only because of their shattered wrist. They wanted to sleep and never wake up. Ever. The world was too unbearable. Some people weren't made to be parents, right? Villain wasn't made to live. They couldn't remember what happened yesterday.
"Hey, look at me."
Villain couldn't. They couldn't move. They wanted to get out. Maybe run away. Maybe smash their head against concrete. Their cheeks were still hot from the tears. Crying always made them tired. Getting up from bed made them tired. Stitches made them tired.
Their good hand was held again.
"We don't wanna hurt you."
"And I'm so sorry about the wrist."
What? Villain didn't understand. They didn't mean it. They were wearing masks. Villain wasn't. What were they trying to do? Why were they apologising?
A hand slowly rose in their vision. Villain started trembling. It was going to punch. It was going to punch their face in.
"I'm just going to take my mask off, all right?" The mask came off. When had the villain started looking?
"See? Just a nobody."
No? No. No. Not a nobody. Name to face. Name to face. That was tiring them out too. The person behind them had their mask off too. Since when?
"Please talk," the person in front of them said, "it's okay. We won't hurt you."
Villain clenched their teeth. What do they say? They needed a blanket. They needed a—some stuffed toy they used to own as a kid. Blankets would be nice. Something to hug as they went to sleep would be nice.
"W... wanna pass out," the villain said. And never wake up. All their blankets were rough. They couldn't think straight. They were in danger.
Paper Cranes held their hand tighter. What had they just called them?
"Breathe. You're tired?"
Villain nodded. So tired. So fucking tired.
"Okay. Okay. It's okay. You'll feel better in the morning."
Villain listened. They'd feel better in the morning. They'd feel better. Paper Cranes were holding their hands tight as their head drooped.
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