#I'm horrible at writing and it always takes way more effort than i think it will BUT something in me is calling to at least write one thing

[ourpleferret]

Something in me is snapping. The brain worms. I'm losing my sanity it's unreal

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

Billy Loomis x reader x Stu macher

Billy loomis and stu macher? Ik they aren't on ur list but it would be fun to see a male nerd reader x billy and stu (yandere ofc)

Someone asked this and somehow I deleted it , so I'm sorry but I will write about them

Also , I am infact a girl , and this is the first time that I am writing for male reader , so if this is a bit not good sorry://

Summary: you are Billy's and Stu's obsession. How they are before you get together and after you do

Warnings: yandere , implied murder , implied stalking, that's all

You are literally so perfect and handsome and beautiful and smart , they can't even properly function around you

You had not been part of their original plan who was more about revenge , but you now definably were

People who flirt with you? Well they are instantly befriended and added to the friend group

The plan is to kill all of them , along with Sydney and her friends

You were in one of Stu's classes since forever and he always thought you were super cute when answering questions

But his obsession with you started later on when Billy talked to him about you

Billy had officially met you when he was running of from class , and bumped into you causing all your books to fall on the floor

He helped you pick them up and you smiled at him and he knew

" he has the most beautiful eyes , and his notebooks are all covered in little drawings. Also have you noticed him in class , how cute he is??"

Billy was rambling on and on about you , a thing unusual for him

And then Stu started noticing you more. In class and in the breaks.

They are stalkers

My boys will be following you home , knowing everything about you

Billy very strategically plans about how to approach you

When you all do end up getting together(how could you say no to those beauties and even if you could, they'd threaten you ) it is a mix of amazing and horrible

They cater to your every need. Stu is very rich , so you will miss nothing

They study with you

Or at least they'd try until Stu got bored and now somehow you all are in the kitchen eating

Is anyone annoying you? No , not anynore

They are willing to take it to the extremes for you, killing , stealing, vandalizing, the whole packet

You will never have one moment of peace with those boys. Not. One

They will excitedly support you to your studies and let me tell you , the praise you get every time you do good on a test , makes it all worth it

Sleepovers at Stu's

Billy is willing to give effort to school work , so maybe sometimes he will ask you to help him with something

You end up making out

Every single time

All of you watch unhealthy amounts of horrors together

Even better if you are the scared type , since they have you nestling in their arms in no time , your head buried at their chest in fear

They would be the type of yanders to kidnap you , but they wouldn't really have to , since they are more than capable at flirting

Now ,the bad stuff

Extremely jealous, I don't think you can even speak to male teachers , without them fantasizing about killing the person

Super clingy and obsessed, you will not be going out on you own or with friends

Expect being constantly checked and spied on by those bitches

Istg they have no idea what personal space means

Diaries , assignments and all are not hidden from them

You will be desperately trying to pay attention to school and they will be right there , talking , laughing or touching you

Their presence is so addictive , you find yourself unable to concentrate when reading if none of them is there , and there is no way in hell you are sleeping without their touch/ voice

You're cooked. I'm sorry

[azulsluver]

What if the reader makes alter egos replicating the AU bully TW boys opposite personality? Like for example..

Riddle, Vil, sebek, with a lazy and quiet reader. Not intimidated by his anger or strict behavior. Just the reader yawning and not even caring for the punishment would make riddle, vil, pissed LMAO—

Then we have Azul, Leona, Jamil with a cunning/smart and quiet reader. Maybe their just minding their own business, finding solutions and evidences to werid situations and. Just wanna be in peace? Ngl I don't really have much thoughts on a cunning reader

And next is malleus, kalim, and idia with an easily annoyed and cold reader. Just imagine kalim clinging/annoying on reader while they read a book in the library and them just trying not to roll their eyes or make an pissed off face. To malleus I feel like he would just silently sulk a bit in the inside since reader is ignoring him, ignoring sebek's rude statements and Lilia's tease. As for idia. I feel like they would express a look of disgusted and werided face just 🤨😑😐

Man I'm too tired to write the entire cast with different personality reader... *Cries*

no major warnings except yandere + bully!characters. So you know the drill

Alter egos in the bully!AU will be the death for reader. Bully’s like their victims stupid and weak, but here’s some thoughts and small rambles.

Lazy and quiet reader

Riddle:

Barely has any self control, pray your little stunts are done in public because it'll at least buy you some time to flee. Riddle isn't afraid to put his hands on you, reader should fear his authority because he can get physically really fast. He'll set fear into your mind one way or another, he won't have you yawning around him. He expects better, and he wants better, so he'll make you better. You should also understand, Riddle is feared by others, or they highly respect him, what makes you think your laziness won't bite you in the ass?

Vil:

Vil is no stranger to people like you. How do you think he dealt with Epel? You'll break eventually, in fact your attitude gives him a reason to ruff you up a bit. I can see that this type of reader will catch Vil's attention faster, he takes it as a challenge. If others seem to be drawn by your presence than that’s laughable, Vil expected more from you, even though he often times preferred you staying silent during his lectures. How did he get himself in this mess, you’re gonna give him grey hairs..

Sebek:

What did Malleus see in you..not only are you vile to look at, your behavior is no better. Sebek despises people like you, putting no effort in social cues or image is unacceptable. You’re contagious to the touch and look, anyone looking your way does he loudly exclaim how horrible you are. Bad behavior, poor even, not worth yelling. Yet he always drag himself back to the start, with him taking it upon himself to drill the proper steps on being good use. Starting with that attitude.

Cunning/smart and quiet reader

Azul:

You’ve earned his respect. Yet again you have nothing useful for Azul for him to seek you out. But he’d be lying if he wasn’t attracted by your character, a person as independent as you is nothing but attractive in his eyes. Azul, unlike the cowardly reader in this scenario, is easily warmed up to the idea of the two of you being associates. Or possibly more, because he doesn’t feel pressured towards you, gaining that unhealthy connection in the original concept.

Leona:

Doesn’t like it. He likes his toys dumb, yet you seem to have a mind of your own. Leona wouldn’t have anything to do or say to you, because you’re person who doesn’t need any help. You’re smart, congrats, but he won’t mind a little challenge from you, having others defy him is nothing he’s used to. As much as Leona prefers the other reader, this one can warm up to him once his buttons are pushed, now he’s thinking of ways to break that independent perception.

Jamil:

Like Azul, he respects that you can stand up for yourself in some way. You’re smart enough to plan out situations and getting away with things, Jamil finds no pleasure in trying to break something he wasn’t interested in the first place. I wouldn’t say he’d be intimidated by a cunning reader, much like shaking hands and calling it a day. You aren’t worth playing with if you block his advances. Jamil enjoys his victims at their lowest, so he can feel a sense of power and need.

Easily annoyed and cold reader

Malleus:

An overgrown dragon looking over your smaller figure. You swear the tips of his ears are pointing downwards when you ignore him. Malleus is clingy, not exactly throwing himself on you clingy, but to the point you can’t even think for yourself. You openly express how much it annoys you, just him sulking has you clenching your fist and biting back a scoff. You don’t wanna hear the end of it with Sebek or see Lilia’s mischievous glare. Everything about Malleus is suffocating, to his friends and issues about not having anyone else, you aren’t even sure why he decided you were the object of his obsession.

Kalim:

Wouldn’t notice until someone pointed it out. Even as a bully, he’s terrible with social cues usually why he needs Jamil to be by his side whenever the two are antagonizing you. Besides the point Kalim is great with emotional manipulation whether on purpose or not, and you’re going against a person everyone adores. Kalim cant do no wrong, you’re just mean, Kalim thinks you’re mean and he doesn’t like the way you act towards him. He’s given you things others would die for, yet you can’t appreciate it. He’s so used to having things his way, and for someone to act out of line knowing his position irks him.

[doodlegirl1998]

I think I finally realize why the writing in BNKA always puts me off in some way, something I've been saying for a while but never got a chance to go into detail.

The writing in BNKA feels like narrative manipulation.

I've come to this conclusion after seeing how the fandom reacts to certain moments and compare them to earlier scenes. And that was when it all clicked for me to come up with this word.

With how the unholy three started out (Bakugou, Aizawa, and Endeavor) then seeing their personalities and how others view them take a complete 180 to view them in a better light, that's what I'm referring to as narrative manpulation.

With Bakugou starting out as a bully and supposedly "changing" so others can say "Wow what a great guy he is!" And praise him to the moon and back... it's literally middle school all over again for him.

With Aizawa coming across as unfair and uncaring only for the narrative to prove he's right every time and have others treat him like he's japanese Einstein.

And with Endeavor starting off as a horrible person and the main conflict for Shoto to overcome... only for his family to welcome him back with open arms and say "We're all to blame for what happened!" just to lift some of it off of him and make him seem like he meant well.

The one common thing about these three is Hori having them express negative emotions and crying and the fandom eats it all up. Claiming that they've gone through development and that they really do care and are more than what we were led to believe. And then have them act the exact same way like nothing happened.

And that my friend... is narrative manipulation.

Hi @theloganator101 👋,

100%.

All of the writing in MHA is narrative manipulation but especially with those three.

Bakugou, Aizawa and Endeavour have narrative manipulation, their own in-universe simps, characters not reacting to them as they should and retcons to soften them and make them more palatable to the audience.

Bakugou and Endeavour are easy and extreme examples so I'll begin with Aizawa first.

With Aizawa, this has worked so well that you rarely see people critical of him and only those who have fully and critically looked at him in canon without #Dadzawa colouring their perception.

His students should dislike / hate or at the very least be wary of him. A teacher who sleeps all the time, pulls "logical ruses" lies and expels on a whim would realistically cause the mental health of his students to plummet. Yet all of 1A (including Izu who he seems to very much dislike) love him for some reason...

He's praised as logical, "harsh but effective" yet his fellow teachers should HATE him. Through the amount of students he's expelled I've heard some people theorising that he has expelled OTHER teachers students. Imagine how angry you would be as a teacher to find one of your students careers destroyed because a fellow teacher expelled them for a bullshit reason. Not only that but logically Aizawa's expulsions would have destroyed lives, destroyed careers before they fully lifted off the ground even made villians.

*There's also the fact that he's not shown to be a great friend in canon either, yet Aizawa is surrounded by Shirakumo, Yamada or Kayama who aren't offput from his behaviour. And even has a respect from All Might (despite the fact that Aizawa has been shown to dislike him.)

* - I'm not blaming Aizawa for being depressed or low key here. That's understandable. However friendship is about give and take. We don't see Aizawa being supportive back to his friends, we see them support him only. And when there's an opportunity to show Aizawa being supportive like to Mic after Midnight's death, Hori doesn't take it. Hori instead makes Aizawa shut Mic up. Additionally, when you like someone and are friends with them - you make the effort to show you like their company, you like being around them, you engage with them. Aizawa acts annoyed by his friends most of the time he's with them on screen, like he's grudgingly tolerating them at best.

Then there's Bakugou who is praised as the second coming of Christ, who lost nothing for suicide baiting a quirkless kid (our MC) and abusing him for ten years! Instead Izuku still calls him "Kacchan" 🤮, Bkg has made friends who are staunchly "anti bully" in Mina and Kirishima (who look stupid or hypocrites for being friends with this POS), Aizawa even praises and favours him for some reason despite Bkg's power being astonishingly one note and Bkg having so much of an awful attitude for heroics the villians thought he was a good recruit. 😬 Bakugou is the worst written character I have seen in a long time - a true Gary Stu.

And finally we have Endeavour, the child abusing POS himself who gets a tragic backstory that none of us wanted to see (his father dying as a kid), we have blame shifting on to Rei and Touya with their respective insanity (also now blame shifted on to Rei's incestous fam by some fans) and some even saying "Endeav had Touya's best interests at heart all along" which truly makes me scoff. If Endeav had Touya's best interests he would have taught Touya to cool himself off, he would have found another interest for them to bond over and sent him to therapy. Not ignoring his spiralling son until he died then got saved by All For One.

In addition, Rei's entire character being used as an "Endeav is not that bad" mouth piece makes me sick, Endeavour broke this woman, physically, emotionally and sexually (depending on your reading but she didn't look consenting to Natsuo and Shoto's births) abused her. So this choice with her character doesn't even make sense, she couldn't even see Shoto, she burnt her child because he looked like Endeav! Why doesn't she loathe this man like she should?! It is sick. It's even sicker of Hori to make her say "We are all responsible for what happened." Like that isn't the most delusional and victim blaming shit to say to your children who couldn't have done squat against their hero father.

Then there's Shoto and his story being overshadowed again by his abusive father, his friendship with Izuku being made about forgiving said abusive father. Shoto deserved so much better than this.

TLDR - the victims of the story should have been allowed to show the impact of their abuse / teaching malpractice that they have dealt with.

Aizawa should have resigned his teaching job (that he didn't even want in the first place) and got therapy as well trying his best to make it up to all those whose lives he ruined.

Bakugou should have been expelled for being an abusive asshole and being too dumb to hide it.

Endeavour should have had the Todofam HATE his guts and no one in his corner coddling him when he cries about Dabi then later Dabi should have finished him off instead of sprouting ice randomly.

[ode-to-spring]

˚⊹₊ ⋆ MISC. BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS ...ꜜ

genshin boys as significant others, what are their little quirks that make loving them all the more worth it?

ੈ♡˳ ayato, diluc, gorou, heizou, itto, thoma, venti, xiao, & zhongli x reader (romantic, separate !) yes they're in alphabetical order cause i'm me

ੈ♡˳ category :: fluff :)

ੈ♡˳ warnings :: n/a, please tell me if i missed any !

ੈ♡˳ a/n :: ouuuu emilia's writing again OUUUU

. . . boyfriend! ayato, who always delivers gifts for you when he's on trips abroad. it's a secret he'll never tell his peers, but he hates going on business trips. not because he dislikes the notion of traveling, or that he isn't willing to fulfil his duties as yashiro commissioner, but he doesn't like how it takes him away from you. thus, even when you're an entire ocean away, he sends you little souvenir and delicacies from wherever he visits to let you know that you're remembered. an embroidered fan from liyue, world class pies from mondstadt, delicious sweets from sumeru... nothing is too lavish for his love, who never leaves his mind no matter where in the world he may be.

. . . boyfriend! diluc, who leaves you little notes at the winery for you to find. sometimes, his duties call earlier than he'd want them to (much to his dismay, if he decides he hasn't spent enough tine with you yet). on those days when he'll have to leave at dawn without being able to give you so much as a goodbye, he takes time to scribble down a message for you before he takes off. messages of love, little reminders, a brief on where he's going and why-- anything he can to show you that he still cares no matter where on teyvat he goes.

. . . boyfriend! gorou, who likes laying on your lap after a long day of training. at first, you teased him for it, saying his dog genes were getting the best of him, but after a while you noticed he genuinely seemed comfortable with you that way. more often than not he'd fall asleep, even. kokomi explains it as him seeing you as his comfort person, that he'd be at ease when he was with you despite how tired he'd be from duties as general. you found this phenomenon quite adorable.

. . . boyfriend! heizou, who claims he can think more clearly and work much better when you're by his side. a childish claim from he who claims to be the best detective in the world, but he couldn't care any less. he always manages to make up an excuse for you to come along on his cases. when investigating, sometimes he asks for stupid things under the guise of asking for your help. holding his hand so he can lead the both of you closer to the answer? undoubtedly logic in his eyes! grabbing you by the waist to keep you near him so you won't get lost? don't see the problem with that! kissing his forehead so his genius brain can work better? ...alright, maybe that will take him a bit too out of commission to focus on the case.

. . . boyfriend! itto, who has the ataraki gang help him to set up your dates. knowing him, he won't allow anything involving you to be simple and sweet, no no, he's all about extravagance! only the best for the love of his life, he says! last minute planning and execution with the arataki gang has become a recurring factor when it's his turn to decide on dates and the nature of them. admittedly, they don't quite always go well... maybe a little fire here from burning food they cooked, or a horrible attempt of a live musical performance going south because of the members sheer lack of skill... but it's the thought and effort that counts! and they certainly have a lot of that ♡

. . . boyfriend! thoma, who always makes you handmade and homemade gifts. whether it's a little origami craft he learned how to make, a pastry he got the recipe of recently, or a flower crown with blossoms he picked himself while out to do errands-- he's willing to give anything he can to you. they aren't just random little trinkets either, not for him at least. each one he makes with the intention of giving it to you first and foremost. love and care are carefully put into the craft, and you always get first look when he tries something new. after all, you deserve nothing but the best in his eyes!

. . . boyfriend! venti, who embarrasses you by singing songs he wrote for you in public. as a bard, he considers it his duty to entertain the people of his city, but does he really need to make it obvious who his songs are for specifically? he sings with such a smile on his face that you know he knows what he's doing, annoying bastard. his excuse? well, he wants to proclaim to the whole world his love for you! songs dedicated to you will reach across the seas of teyvat and be sung till the end of time, he promises. for as long as his music lives and his lyrics never die from peoples memory, memoirs of his love for you will live for ages to come.

. . . boyfriend! xiao, who never fails to make time for you. work as a yaksha is terribly busy-- even when there aren't any demons around liyue to eradicate, he spends a great amount of his days patrolling and protecting the nation however he can. but still, he makes sure that his work doesn't keep him away from you for too long. he isn't quite used to this relationship thing, and frankly might not know his way around making you feel loved, but he tries. even the simple moments of rest he has with you he appreciates, he can only hope you feel the same.

. . . boyfriend! zhongli, who takes you out to gorgeous places in liyue. barely anyone would have discovered otherwise. he has governed this land for a great many centuries, and in turn have seen the rise and fall of many beautiful places due to change in geographical landscapes. but still, he's bound to have a few with beauty preserved throughout the years, and he's more than happy to take you to all of them. on top of tourist worthy spots, he sometimes brings a bit of food, wine,  and flowers to present to you on these dates, as well as a great many stories if where you're visiting to keep you both entertained.

[maochira]

I saw some of your dad ego hcs and they were great

How would dad!ego react to a teenage daughter who hates soccer/footbal

Ooh that's an interesting idea! I'll make this a reader insert.

Also thank you, I'm really glad people are enjoying the dad!Ego stuff!

Tags: gn!reader (I know anon asked for daughter but I prefer writing genderneutral stuff), a bit of angst a bit of hurt/comfort, mentions of child neglect, Ego realizes his mistakes woah

-okay so, this is years after Blue Lock happened. You were a kid (let's say elementary school age) during Blue Lock and at that time, Ego was so busy working all the time, he neglected you more than he intended to. And even when he started taking more time to spend with you, it was always rather short

-you were really happy when Blue Lock was over, thinking your father would finally stop working all day every day. But no. This is Ego we're talking about. He's probably still very much involved in soccer stuff. But despite that, he works a lot less than while Blue Lock was happening. So you think he finally has more time to spend with you. And yeah, he does. But he talks so much about soccer. It's not like you aren't used to that, but it just starts feeling... uncomfortable.

-to you, it just feels like soccer is much more important than you in your father's life. And it makes you resent soccer and anything related to it

-the older you get, the more it pisses you off when Ego talks about soccer and you hate the moments when he leaves the house to go to any soccer-related thing

-Ego is very confused by your resentment towards soccer. He thought you love it as much as he does, since it's always been a part of your life because of him

-he attempts to get you back into it multiple times, by asking you to go and watch matches with him or play in the backyard, but when he realises you're not interested, he gets a bit mad at you

-and when he realises it's not just simple disinterest, but you genuinely dislike soccer, he feels as if he failed as a father. Not because of the times he's neglected you because of soccer, tho. He thinks he failed because he's so obsessed with soccer and seeing his own child disliking it just makes him feel horrible

-and when you finally snap at him and tell him you hate soccer, it breaks his heart.

-instead of asking what caused you to hate soccer, he starts listing all the reasons why you should like it. No, the reasons why you should love it

-and then. You just break out in tears right in front of him. That hasn't really happened since you were a child. And god, it just wrecks Ego's heart to see you like this. When he sees the first tears in your eyes, he immediately stops talking about how great soccer is and attempts to comfort you

-let's be honest, Ego isn't the greatest regarding emotions. But he still manages to calm you down a bit. And that's the first time he, somewhat indirectly, asks what you dislike about soccer

-it takes you so much strength, but you start telling him about how soccer is so much more important than you've ever been, you tell him about all the times he preferred doing anything work-related over spending time with you, and how he's always preferred praising his Blue Lock players over praising you for literally anything you achieved.

-that's when Ego realizes making you hate soccer isn't what makes him fail as a father, it's him putting soccer above his own child

-he promises, he will change. He's very serious about this. He doesn't want you to feel so unimportant ever again

-it's hard for him because he's so obsessed with soccer, but he loves you so much, and he's your father after all, he needs to put this much effort into you. And he regrets not realizing and changing way earlier

[coconutcordiale]

steady pt three (i keep all my affection in a paper cup)

pt one | pt two | pt three | masterlist | prequel

pairing- rooster x female bartender!reader (no y/n)

synopsis-

You want to tell her you know how she feels, it’s truly unfair for someone to look this good with that mustache. There’s a bead of sweat rolling down his neck to his collarbone and you want nothing more than to follow it with your tongue. Alice looks like she agrees with you.

Completely unaware of his own effect, Bradley just swipes his card.

warnings- 18+ minors DNI, unprotected sex oops, light daddy kink/bradley bradshaw is a soft daddy dom that just wants to take care of his girl this is the hill i'll die on, overstimulation, oral (f receiving), lil bit of praise kink (can i write smut without someone -especially rooster- saying good girl, prob not), breeding kink if you squint but like...don't it's like half a line & i'm scared of kids so it's not really breeding kink idk, no kink negotiation here so not a good example of what you should do irl, brief mention of past infidelity (no current cheating)

length- 5.6k ish

an- i can't believe this is over this is literally the most difficult thing i've ever written, also for real publix sandwiches are the goat i wouldn't share mine with bradley. I’m sorry the end was so cheesy I hate myself lol ok ily all bye

this chapter title is also from only for a moment by lola marsh lmao i basically wrote 15k based on one song that's less than 3 minutes long

You slam the door a little harder than necessary when you get to the rental car.

“Did you get the closure you needed?” Bradley asks tentatively, probably wary of the chaos you know is simmering under your skin.

“Closure from another person is a myth,” you answer firmly. “Only you can give yourself closure.”

“So, no, in other words.”

You appreciate that he’s at least trying to keep the amusement out of his voice as you repeat his cheesy quotes back to him, but it's short-lived because everything feels too small, too suffocating in the muggy Austin air.

You almost don't tell Bradley, but a part of you recognizes you need to get the words out. That someone else needs know about you and Jake so it doesn't subsist only in your eyes, so it doesn't blind you as it disrupts your field of vision, bright spots of an incoming migraine.

“He said he’s in love with me.”

His knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and you raise an eyebrow.

After a beat he relaxes, tone frustratingly even. “Bold, considering he’s still married, right?”

“Bold,” you scoff. “That’s one way to put it. I didn’t bother to ask. No ring, but we all know how you pilots are about rings.”

“Why?”

You shrug. Because it doesn’t matter.

“I want to ask you something, but you have to promise not to get mad at me,” he continues, gaze fixed on the road.

Even though you know you’re unlikely to get mad at him, you grumble anyways. “No promises.”

“I’m not trying to sound judgmental. You obviously loved him. But can I ask, why you stayed so long? Wasn’t it excruciating?”

Loved. Past tense. You're surprised as you realize how true that feels, that Jake has maybe, finally, become someone you loved and not someone your heart still beats for.

“I’ve never been in a serious relationship before,” you admit, softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “At a certain point, maybe I started to think there was something wrong with me, a reason I wasn’t worth the effort of a real relationship. Like maybe what I had with Jake was better than I would ever get from someone else.”

You hear a pained noise from him, but barrel on, knowing if you don’t get the words out right now, they may live inside you forever.

“It wears on you after awhile. My guy friends are always acting sarcastic about it, wow must be so horrible to be pretty, so shitty that everyone wants to sleep with you. People say it enough, men confirm it with their actions, and eventually, you start to feel like that’s all you’re worth.

You shudder; you’ve never admitted that out loud before.

"I know what it looks like, but it was more than sex. I’d just never felt that way about anyone before.”

Bradley pulls into the parking lot of your hotel, but you’re staring straight ahead, admission having frozen you in place.

“I don’t know how to make you believe you’re worth more than that. Seresin was practically falling apart, and he hasn’t even seen you in almost a year, for fuck’s sake. Those guys that missed out on knowing you, they’re morons.”

He pauses and takes a deep breath, looks over at you and you feel his dark eyes burning into the side of your face.

“Cali, I—if you think he’s being serious, if you want to be with him, I know it’s complicated, but I have your back.”

Any ice that was thawing around you suddenly frosts again.

“You think I should try to work things out,” you say slowly. “With Jake.”

He flinches. “That’s what you’re taking from—fuck, never mind. I didn’t say that. I just want you to know I’m here for you, whatever you decide.”

Your stomach is sinking and you’re not entirely sure why.

“Thank you,” you manage to murmur, squeezing his forearm affectionately before getting out of the car, worried he’ll see the tears forming in your eyes.

It stays sunk as you get back to your hotel room, as you get ready for bed silently, as you bury yourself under the covers and turn your back to him.

He feels miles away in the other bed, somehow farther away than he does with a flight of stairs separating you at home in Florida.

Sure, a mini vacation to a wedding (even if it is to Texas of all places) is a little intense for friends, but that’s yours and Bradley’s thing if you’re being honest. You guys have spent the last six months being a little intense and over-committed. Being the only things to pull each other out of the dark places you longed to hide in.

You agreed to come, as a friend. It’s not like you guys pretended to be dating, it’s not like he didn’t introduce you to everyone as his friend from Florida.

You’re not sure when you started hoping for more, when you started thinking there was something promising constructing itself in the space between your apartments.

+

Rooster immediately knows it was a mistake to visit you at work. But you’re working the early shift and things have been so off since you guys got back from Texas. It’s like you’ve retreated into your shell, like you’ve put back on every layer he spent months peeling away.

You smile when you see him, but there’s something hollow in it, something not all there.

He’s pretty sure he overstepped asking you about Jake, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up again, how to apologize without making it worse.  

He couldn’t help it; he saw how Jake looked at you. Understands how Jake feels, knows all too well the magnetic pull of you, the involuntary twitch of fingers to touch you. But the way you stole glances after you stopped panicking at his presence…well he’s fairly certain you’ve never looked at him the way you tried to hide you were looking at Jake.

He felt all the air empty from the room the moment you two were aware of each other's presence.

Bradley doesn’t know how to compete with a love like that.

Despite all that he can’t stay away from you, can’t spend another night in his apartment wondering what you’re thinking.

Unfortunately, that means he’s in a touristy tiki bar, politely letting a girl chat him up while you busy yourself making sweet cocktails with overcomplicated garnishes just out of his line of sight.

She’s pretty. And nice. She’s drinking a Jungle Bird which he knows you don’t detest making, so he doesn’t feel bad when she orders another to stick around and talk to him. She laughs at his jokes and doesn’t tell him he’s an idiot for not liking The Office. As far as he can tell (given that he met her about five minutes ago) there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her.

Except for the fact that she’s not you, of course.

She excuses herself to the bathroom and you make your way over to his side of the bar, wordlessly putting a fresh beer in front of him.

“You should ask her out,” you suggest. “She’s gorgeous.”

Bradley stalls, blinks twice. His tongue is suddenly sticking to the roof of his mouth. “You think so?”

You roll your eyes. Usually, he secretly loves how much you roll your eyes, the fire that’s always lit behind them. Loves the bratty disposition you manage to express with one little look. He’s always liked how expressive your features are, how he can read your mood before you even say a word.

Right now though, it just makes him uneasy.

“Everyone thinks so, look at her.”

“No—that’s not what I—” he stutters. “I meant, you really think I should ask her out?”

“Yeah, she obviously likes you. It’s not like she’s going to say no.”

Bradley hates the way his heart sinks at your suggestion, but nods anyways, choosing not to correct your assumption that he’s stammering with nervousness over this girl he just met. He desperately wants to change the subject, to make sure he’ll be able to see you outside of the shell you put on for work.

“I have your suitcase at home if you want to get it after work. Sorry, I forgot it was still in the Bronco when I left the other morning.”

When he left for work after carrying your sleeping form up to his apartment, not wanting to risk waking you by searching for the keys to your place, because you looked too peaceful for him to wake up after the flight back.

He forced himself to sleep on the couch, despite how pretty you looked in his bed, how badly he wanted to crawl in with you, tell his students he got stuck in Texas, and keep you in bed with him forever.

He walks home when you tell him you'll come by after Beth takes over, after Jungle Bird slides him her number on a napkin, hoping it’ll clear his head. Sits on the beach, watches the sky darken over the water. Wonders if he should play it cool and wait to text her. Wonders if he even wants to text her at all.

He knows he’s ready to date again after Lauren, has been for a while now, so eventually, he does text, because pining after you isn’t going to get him anywhere.

He thinks he can be your friend, if that's all he's going to get.

He’s just barely gotten through his front door when you knock, sweaty and red-faced.

“Just got back from a run,” you tell him, clearly having seen the question perched on his lips. You’re still breathing a little hard and it’s sending his blood in the opposite direction of where he needs it to be going.

The sweat dripping down into the valley of your breasts is giving him decidedly not friendly thoughts.

“You hate running,” he says instead, brows furrowed.

You shrug. “Did you make plans with the girl from the bar?”

He rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward.

“Yeah,” he answers finally. “We’re going out this weekend.”

“That’s great,” you say flatly, immediately turning to leave, picking up your forgotten suitcase a little too aggressively, like it’s done something to offend you.

“Hey, wait, hold on.” Bradley reaches out for your arm, tugging gently and forcing you to stop in your tracks. “Are we in a fight right now? Is this about the wedding?”

“No,” you answer petulantly. You won’t meet his eyes, instead staring down at where his fingers encircle your wrist.

“No, we’re not in a fight or no, this isn’t about the wedding?”

“This isn’t about the wedding,” you reply through clenched teeth. “Not entirely, at least.”

He can’t help but let pride swell through him at your words, knowing a few months ago you would’ve lied about being fine until you were blue in the face.

It still feels like he’s taking a shot in the dark, a tiny flicker of hope igniting in his chest. “You told me to ask her out.”

You cringe, face twisting in pain like you just sucked on a lemon. “Only because you were pushing me to go back to Jake! I thought that was what you wanted. I thought—”

You’re breathing hard, but he’s pretty sure your chest is heaving with emotion, not from your run. Your mouth is open to continue when he says your name.

Not Cali. It sounds hard and serious as it passes his lips. You wince and he immediately feels bad.  

“Stop,” he continues firmly, determined not to lose his nerve at the hurt crossing your features, willing himself not to get worked up and loud. “Don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I was doing. I know we went to the wedding as friends, but it’s stupid to deny there’s been something building between us for a while now.”

Your expression softens and Bradley knows instantly that you feel it too.

“I just didn’t want you to shut the door on Jake out of some obligation to me. I want you to choose me, for me. Not because I’m not him.”

He sees the moment it clicks for you, the second you start seeing how the wedding must’ve looked through his eyes.

“I’ll never go back to Jake,” you say quietly. “For lots of reasons that have nothing to do with you.”

Something inside him unfurls, anxiety sitting in his stomach loosening, but he’s not done, can’t be done, until his intentions are crystal clear.

“What do you want? Do you even know? Because I know what I want.” He grabs your arms, turning your body to face him fully. Hooks a finger under your chin, making you look up at him as he tries to gather the courage to say this next part. “And I can’t settle for anything less. If you want casual, I can’t give you that.”

“I don’t want you to go out with her.” It’s as good as an admission from you, he knows that.

Dark eyes warm as the beginning of a smile stretches across his face. His chest is lightening, warmth bubbling within. “How come?”

“You’re smart enough to do the math,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. But there’s a bright, happy tinge edging at the corners of your mouth.

He’s full-on grinning now, reaching to pull you into him by the waist. He tucks his face into your hair, so you won’t see the giddy expression on his face. “Tell me anyways.”

“Want you all to myself,” you mumble, lips ghosting over his skin to make him shudder.

You might have more to say, but Bradley used all his patience flying today and his hand tilts your chin to him, lips covering yours before you can make another sound.

You make a tiny mewl in surprise against his mouth as he grips you, tongue sliding past your lips and his blood immediately rushes south.

Making a face when Bradley manages to pull himself away from your lips, you look down at your sweaty sports bra. “I need to shower.”

“Shower here,” he suggests. “I’ll make us dinner. You can spend the night, maybe? And I won’t sleep on the couch this time? I promise I’ll behave.”

Bradley sees his hopeful eyes mirrored back at him when he finally takes a chance to look at your face.

Things are so shakily composed between the two of you, that he’s somewhat afraid if he lets you go back downstairs to your apartment you’ll spiral and come up with a hundred reasons not to give you guys a shot.

Maybe he’s being insecure, sue him.

You seem to understand where he’s coming from, the tenuous connection hanging delicately in the air between the two of you. Nodding, your fingers play with the hem of his shirt fitfully before you rush to his shower, like if you waited for another second you might not be able to peel yourself off him.

He inflates with pride at that too.

Bradley overestimated his abilities, probably, when he promised to behave. He didn’t think about how hard it would be not to think about you naked in his shower while he seeks out ingredients to throw together for dinner.

Didn’t think about how good you’d smell, fragrant with his body wash as you wrap your arms around him from behind.

Bradley’s movements are shaky, and jerky when he turns around to kiss you. He clears his throat, and only just barely keeps himself from running his hands underneath the baggy top that hangs off your shoulders. “Is that my shirt?”

You freeze. “I…yes. Is that okay? I didn’t have anything with me, but I can run downstairs…”

You say something under your breath that he can’t quite make out. Your face is completely unreadable and Bradley’s body flashes hot and cold every other second.

“No, don’t, it, uh, looks good on you,” he says finally when he’s pretty sure he’s not going to rip it in the process of pulling it over your head.

Bradley’s taking deep breaths, using grounding techniques. He breathes in through his nose, and out through his mouth. He knows you’re not trying to tease him. You’re not doing anything, not really.

This is Florida, everyone is scantily clad more often than they’re not.

If he’s going to behave, he’s going to have to tap into that self-control he beat himself over the head with every time he saw you in a bikini before today.

It’s just so much worse now that he’s allowed to touch you.

“It’s hard, with you looking like that in my shirt. I want to fuck you stupid,” he admits.

Your mouth drops open in surprise.

“But I think we should take things slow. I don’t want to mess this up by jumping in before we’re ready.”

His cock twitches when he notices the disappointment you’re not trying very hard to hide.

“Okay,” you pout. “You’re probably right.”

You turn to open the fridge, leaning to grab a water and his shirt rides up a little higher on your already bare legs.

Bradley groans, head falling back to stare at the ceiling. “Baby, you’re killing me.”

+

You can’t believe how much you hated Florida beaches when you first moved. The Keys are beautiful, with endless white sand and clear water.

You convince Bradley to stop by Publix on the way back, with promises of pasta for dinner. You really just want a sub to take to work tomorrow, but you’re not going to tell him that.

The poor cashier practically swallows her tongue when she sees Bradley, shirt open over his bare chest and covered in sand, sunglasses sliding down his nose that’s pink from the sun. He makes sure to look at her name tag and smiles genuinely at her when he asks, Alice, how’s your day going?

You’re going to pass out.

You want to tell her you know how she feels, it’s truly unfair for someone to look this good with that mustache. There’s a bead of sweat rolling down his neck to his collarbone and you want nothing more than to follow it with your tongue. Alice looks like she agrees with you.

Completely unaware of his own effect, Bradley just swipes his card.

It’d be infuriating if it wasn’t so adorable.

This time you’re counting all the ways he’s not Jake, but it’s a good thing. Jake would’ve preened, leaned into smirk, just so he could see the blush rise on the poor girl’s cheeks.

It’s not that that’s bad, you know you do the same sometimes. Smirking at guys you know are giving you a once-over while you make their drinks, sparkle in your eyes because you don’t always hate the attention.

But it’s oddly endearing with Bradley, how he doesn’t seem to know the effect he has on people. Like he doesn’t fly multi-million-dollar planes for a living, like he couldn’t use that to get any girl he wanted in his bed.

He’s just being mean when you guys get to the car, flinging his unbuttoned shirt off and into the back of the Bronco and muttering something about tan lines.

Your mouth is watering.

When you get back to your complex, you snag his forgotten shirt and form a plan.

“Caliiiiiii,” Bradley sings as he bursts into your apartment. It’s a good thing you never listened to Beth about locking your front door because shirtless Bradley Bradshaw is a sight to behold. “Showered so you wouldn’t complain about—”

You hear him stop dead in his tracks at the entrance to your kitchen. When you look over your shoulder at him those plush lips are parted, eyes roaming over the back of you. You’re clad in one of his marginally less offensive button-ups (at least there aren’t any birds on it), thrown hastily over your bikini.

“How gentlemanly of you to shower for dinner with little ol’ me,” you giggle. “But I have to admit I haven’t had time for more than rinsing the sand off.”

He ignores you completely, tone accusing like you hadn’t spoken at all. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

You consider denying it but can’t fully hold back the smirk forming. “Well, you seemed to enjoy it when I wore your shirt last time.”

Bradley just nods dumbly.

“Anyways, don’t get too excited, this is one of three dishes I can actually make, but I thought we’d…” You trail off because he’s suddenly right behind you, crowding you so you feel the heat radiating from him as he brackets you with his arms.

“Nope,” he says tersely. “Dinner can wait. Turn off the stove.”

He turns you around so he can kiss you, slow and deliberate. His tongue slides between your lips assertively, hands tapping on your thighs as a sign for you to hop backward and up on the counter. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

“Wait, what?” You ask, but he’s already on his knees.

You should’ve known then and there he was going to be nothing but trouble.

The first time Bradley makes you come, you’re still in the kitchen. He’s kneeling with his face buried in your pussy, skimpy bathing suit bottoms long flung behind him, lips curled around your clit insistently even as your thighs clutch his head in a way that must be uncomfortable. After all his talk of wanting to wait and do things right, it’s almost funny. Would be, if your mind wasn’t currently busy whiting out.

The second time, he drags you to the living room before you’ve had any time to recover and pulls your back against his chest in front of the couch. The tall mirror in the corner of the living room displays the absolute debauchery unfolding on the floor in the middle of your apartment.

“Keep your legs open, baby. You can do that, right? Be good for me?”

You’re nodding before you even know what you’re doing, head jerking up and down like a bobblehead.

“Fuck, look at you,” he croons in between the nips he’s determinedly pressing on your neck. Barely even a command, you still look up, watching your reflection as his lips trace across the top of your shoulder, mustache leaving red marks in its wake. One hand is busy tugging the strings of your bathing suit top loose so he can toss it out of his way, while the other drifts to tease your inner thighs.

Bronze eyes meet yours in the mirror and he grins, like the cat that got the canary. “Gorgeous, darlin’.” And then he pushes two fingers into you without warning, the stretch making you keen as your head falls back on his shoulder. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve thought about you like this.”

“Ohmygo—Bradley.” You turn your head to kiss him, but it ends up being little more than your lips slotting together and you moaning straight into his mouth as he fucks his fingers in relentlessly, your hands gripping his arms like they can’t decide if they want to pull him in closer or push him away, oversensitive as you are from his mouth.

You sink into him, into his hands, his grip. Let it erase the gravity that keeps you tethered to the ground, let yourself flutter high above the clouds.

You don’t even realize how close you are until he curls his fingers inside you to graze that soft spot, thumbing at your clit. His other hand palms your tit and tweaks your nipple at the same time his teeth close on your neck and you’re done for, letting it crash into you, cunt clenching around his fingers and back arching away from his chest.

It takes you a few seconds to come down, eyes closed as you blindly turn your head in search of Bradley’s mouth. He kisses you sweetly, but briefly and you make a noise of discontent when he pulls away. You open your eyes to glower at him but when you do, you see a filthy gleam in his eyes that warms you straight to your core like you didn’t just come twice in two different rooms of your house.

His fingers are suddenly pressing at your lips, and you watch his eyes glaze over as you take them in and suck, licking your release from his fingers. You’re suddenly very, very aware of how hard he is behind you, thighs clenching at the realization that he’s straining against his shorts, grinding against your ass because he’s so turned on from getting you off.

God, he’s so perfect it’s not even fair.

His digits in your mouth are giving you your own wicked ideas, about returning the favor as you wriggle your way around to face him. It’s a good thing his other arm immediately goes to support you because you’re pretty sure your legs are made of jelly.

He seems to read your mind, or maybe just the way your cheeks hollow around his fingers as you look down to the bulge in his pants, lips already forming wicked promises as he pulls his hand away from you. “Next time, baby. Need to be inside you.”

The high-pitched whimper that leaves you at that would be embarrassing if you could currently remember that you have downstairs neighbors. You can’t, though, so who cares.

“Want you to ride me,” he grunts. “Have to see how gorgeous my girl looks bouncing in my lap. Can you do that for me?”

To be honest, you’re not sure you can. It’s a 50/50 chance your legs will give out the moment Bradley stops holding you up, but you want to, want to so badly.

You nod anyways, figuring odds are Bradley will catch you if you melt into the floor, and he swings around so he can lay flat on the rug. His shirt slips off your shoulders, getting trapped around your elbows as you lean forward to support yourself on his chest. You’re about to fling it off when he makes a strangled noise, hands going to bring the material back up.

“Baby, please.” There’s a little whine in Bradley’s voice that turns you inside out. “Keep it on.”

That sweetness, that little crack in his dominance is way hotter than it has any right to be.

You make quick work of his shorts, biting your lip as you pull him out, his tip red and leaking precum.

“Christ, Bradley, this how you got your callsign?” You manage to mumble as he pulls you up to balance your hand on his chest again.

The bastard winks. “I know you can take it. Been so good for me, why stop now?”

Using your free hand to guide you, you sink down slowly, not bothering to hold in the moans at the stretch of him.

Stars are bursting behind your eyes that are squeezed tight against the intensity of it, your slick walls are oversensitive and shaking already. Bradley’s hands are clenched on your hips, trying not to move before you’re ready.

You roll your hips, starting to find your rhythm, and he groans, head thumping back against the floor.

When he looks back up at you his eyes are almost completely black. “Look so fucking beautiful bouncing on my cock, darlin'.”

He reaches up to grab your tits, thumbs brushing over your nipples just to make you squirm even more, before trailing his fingers down to your clit as he starts shifting up to meet the grind of your hips and it’s so much, too much, sending sparks straight through you.

You shudder. “Bradley—da—I can’t.”

There’s something knowing in his gaze, at your pace stuttering, at your half-formed words trying to claw their way out of your throat. He slows as you do, ever so slightly pulling his finger from your clit. “Need a break, baby?”

You bite your lip, refusing to meet his molten gaze, giving only a tiny shake of your head, trying to find your rhythm again.

When he smirks, you can feel it permeating the air around you. “That’s what I thought. One more, I know you can give me one more.”

He plants his feet flat on the floor behind you, giving himself the power and leverage to fuck you in earnest from below. You’re trembling, you know sounds are leaving your mouth, but you’ve no idea if they’re words at this point.

You’re not fluttering above the clouds anymore, you’re flying, speeding through, fast and hard and riotous.

Bradley’s voice is low and gravelly, but he’s looking up at you with reverence. “It’s okay, baby, you can let go. I’ve got you, gonna take care of my girl.”

“Daddy,” you whine, any sense of coherency, shame, or worry having left you two orgasms ago.

The sound that rips from Bradley’s chest at that is rough and guttural, hands going to your hips in a bruising hold. “That’s right, gonna come for daddy like a good girl, aren’t you?”

You’re nodding, babbling, keening yesdaddyyesfuckbradley— You dig your nails into his chest as it hits you. Electricity ripples under your skin, through your veins, dominoes cascading down and hitting every nerve ending in your body. It’s right on the edge of pain, body worn out and spent from tensing and releasing.

“Fuck, baby, so gorgeous when you come on my cock, gonna fuck my girl so full,” he grunts, big hands bouncing you like a ragdoll in his lap.

Even through the fog, his words hit you hard. “Fuck—please, daddy.”

His thrusts get shallower, wilder, before his back arches from the floor, mouth spilling incoherent praise, holding you down onto him as he spills inside of you.

You slump down onto him, the only sound in the room yours and Bradley’s heavy breathing.

You’re falling apart, body trembling and shaking, and you’re still on the floor. You’ve no idea how you’ll survive when Bradley finally takes you to a bed.

“Jesus,” he whispers. “And here I was thinking you couldn’t get any hotter.”

You flush pink immediately, wincing as you move to get off him, wetness sliding down your thighs. He scoops you up almost immediately, carrying you to the shower and mumbling under his breath about making sure to keep daddy’s cum inside of you.

“Oh my god, Bradley,” you whine. “I can’t go again."

The pasta is completely unsalvageable by the time you get out of the shower. He’s lucky you’re willing to share your precious sandwich with him.  

When you see your downstairs neighbor the next day, she immediately reddens and turns on her heel to get away from you.

+

You’re back at the beach when Penny gets a call from you.

“Burning off some energy,” you tell her when she asks what you’re up to. “I’ve had a lot of that lately.”

“Should’ve just let me introduce you to Rooster from the beginning.”

“Who says this has anything to do with Rooster?” You ask, even though both of you know you’re lying through your teeth.

“Nothing wrong with being happy, honey.” You can hear her smiling through the phone.

“I might actually be happy?” You joke. “Is that what this is?”

“You guys are in the honeymoon phase. Every song on the radio is about you, neither of you can do anything wrong—”

“Oh, he does plenty wrong, believe me—”

Penny isn’t bothering to hide her laugh anymore, but her tone is still soft and caring. “It’s sweet. Rooster’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot.”

“He is. I’m kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop,” you admit. “Wish I could just enjoy it.”

“It’s hard. You don’t give your heart away easily,” Penny responds like you’re easy to read, easy to understand.

Maybe you are.

“You wouldn’t be taking this chance unless he was worth it,” she adds when you don’t answer, too busy thinking about how maybe that mask you’ve always worn isn’t as opaque as you thought it was.

Maybe that’s fine. Maybe you really are as strong as you pretended to be with that mask.

That’s the thing about masks. Sometimes you realize they’re more a part of you than you ever thought. When you thought you were faking it the whole time.

“He’s definitely worth it.”

Rooster raises an eyebrow at you, having come back to the tree you’ve taken residence under.

“Talking about my other boyfriend,” you tease, trying not to get distracted by the swimsuit that seems to be riding lower than it was before he ventured into the water.

“Hand the phone to Rooster, I want to talk to him.”

You giggle, sticking it out in his direction. “Penny wants to talk to you.”

“If you think my loyalty here lies with you, you're sorely mistaken,” Penny says, warning dancing all over her tone.

“You don’t have to be worried, Pen.” Bradley looks at you, eyes warm, fingers drifting up your legs. “If anyone’s gonna get their heart broken here, it’s me.”

d a y 3 6 7

You don’t notice the date, but a year since you moved to Florida, almost to the day, you realize you’re in love with Bradley Bradshaw.

As it turns out, loving Bradley is like flying high above the clouds.

[claudemblems]

One of my friends asked me to write for this prompt from the list I posted, and one of you requested Sherlock for it, so here you go. Enjoy the angst 🥹

Sherlock Holmes - Moriarty the Patriot

Prompt 18: hugging them tight without saying any words when they're having a hard time

Why didn’t he kill Jefferson Hope when he had the chance?

It was a horrible thing for a detective to consider, especially one that was determined to save as many innocent people as he could, but if he’d taken the offer presented to him, would things have turned out different? Would he have had the Lord of Crime bound and shackled, harbored in a prison cell for the rest of his life? Would the people no longer live in fear of seeing yet another murder on plastered on the news' front pages? If he'd taken the offer by killing Hope, Sherlock would have had all the information he needed to find the mastermind. The hard part would be proving his guilt.

But if he’d pulled that trigger, he would have not only learned the true identity of the Lord of Crime, but he would have put an end to Hope's suffering. He’d practically begged Sherlock to take his life, but, out of kindness or conscience, he couldn’t.

Honestly, how pathetic of a detective did he have to be to second guess not killing a man in cold blood.

“...Sherlock? Sherlock?”

The sound of your voice rang in Sherlock's ears, gradually dragging him out of his thoughts and back into the sitting room he rested in, his body splayed out across the couch.

“Are you all right?”

No would have been his first answer had he not cared about worrying you. With all this baggage weighing on his shoulders, he was almost tempted to let himself crumble underneath it.

“I’m fine,” he answered, finally sitting upright. The room still smelled of smoke from the cigarette he’d had earlier. However, when he looked down at the ashtray, it appeared he’d ended up having several more than that.

“For a detective, you’re a terrible liar. I hope you know that.”

Sherlock sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, dear.”

“I’m not joking around. I’m worried about you!”

Well, there went his efforts to not make you worry.

"I...I'm just thinking about a case, is all."

"It's the one where you were offered the name of the Lord of Crime, isn't it?"

Somehow you always knew exactly what had been troubling him.

"I just keep thinking about it. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine what it would have been like if I'd pulled the trigger. Would it have been a good thing to put that man out of his misery? Would I have caught the mastermind by now? Would London have been freed from his reign of terror...or am I just a foolish man who's no different than he is?"

Sherlock buried his head in his arms, fighting back the frustration that wanted to burst out of him. What should he do? What was the right thing to do? For once in his career, Sherlock had no evidence, no confidence, and not a clue of what to do next.

But in all this gloom surrounding him, your ray of light encapsulated him, determined to drive out the darkness in his mind.

"Even for a famous detective, it's okay to not know the answer," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his head next to your heart, its slow and steady beat a soothing lullaby. "You're human, and no human can be perfect. We're bound to be ignorant, to mess up, to get lost along the way...but that's to be expected. All we can do is rely on our morals and ambitions to keep us going. If we can't do that, what else will we have left?"

"...Do you think ill of me because I questioned if I should have killed that man?"

"No, I don't," you answered without hesitation, "because I know you never would. Truly, Sherlock, if you found yourself pulling the trigger, it wouldn't have been to learn the Lord of Crime's name but to save that man, Jefferson Hope, from the misery that consumed him. Your heart went out to him, didn't it?" Gently, you stroked Sherlock's hair, watching as the stress from the past few days slowly began to leave his face. "He killed the monster who had kidnapped his wife and put her through so much suffering. But even with him dead, Mr. Hope can never forget what was done to his beloved wife. The thought eats him alive day by day, and you understood that. Who wouldn't have compassion on a man that wanted a peaceful life for the woman he loved, only to have it ripped away from her?"

Sherlock clutched the edge of your shirt, and though he made no sound, you knew that he'd begun to cry.

"You're no monster, Sherlock. You're a man that wants to save all of London, but you can't. You can't save anyone. You know that, yet you still try."

"If I don't try...then who will?"

Tears fell down Sherlock's cheeks and onto your shirt like light summer rain, and you held him in the warmth of your arms, intent on sheltering his broken heart until the storm had passed.

"One day, love, you'll find the answers you're looking for. For now, take a deep breath, and you can think through all of this when your mind has cleared."

Sherlock cried for a long time, and your hold on him never once faltered. There, in your embrace, you knew he felt safe, and though no words were spoken, being in your presence was all he needed. Eventually your sunshine chased away the clouds, and Sherlock found himself ready to go searching for answers once more.

London needed him. He would not fail.

[rendy-a]

if requests are still open, and if it's okay for me to ask for a follow-up; Can I ask how thankful the boys would be for the time-breaker S/O's UM during their daily lives ? slice of life, fluff, goofy "moments before disaster" saved by S/Os UM, all those good things :D I've been thinking about a few highlights, like... Slowing time around the table area during an unbirthday party because Ace ALMOST crashed into the table; S/O uses their unique magic to get up and hold him by the back of his jacket in time to yank him back onto his feet; S/O is now a mandatory attendant to all unbirthday parties as result... (On the bright side, Riddle looks a whole lot more relaxed now) Cheka tries to ambush S/O and Leona when he takes them home to meet the family. S/O turns around in slow motion during Cheka's leap; now S/O is gently holding the young boy by the back of his shirt, nonchalantly smug, "To be fair, i think was a good attempt?" (Leona knows he must not laugh but what the fuckLMFAO- ) Jamil's list of daily "Almost-s" is no longer a threat to his heart with S/O around, but the way his S/O delivers news to him by throwing letters Kaiba-style only to freeze them in place almost does it; but its the good news that make his heart jump this time (the news itself is up to you but i'm imagining smth along the lines of "Kalim's older siblings came back from buying milk and made some new friends who decided to be guards lmfao you can just work halftime now, congrats" written in a royal way) ...these boys better give their S/O a hug and some kisses for all that effort, honestly

(you don't have to choose from the ones i wrote or do any of 'em!! i'm just very happy to read your writing at all and I wanted to share whats in my mind in case it gave you any ideas too ^^ thank you for writing twst, and I'm so sorry for the long asks!! I like to hope it makes writing easier rather than harder for you x( <3333 )

Goodness, I thought this would be fast to right since I'd just finished the last one but it took me the same amount of time. Anyway, here is a part 2 for this story.

Making a Moment Last Afterwards

Life as a magical prefect has its perks.  How do things change between you and your sweetheart after your confession?

Riddle had always saw his future as that of a magical doctor, fixing people who were injured or broken.  Maybe that is why the way you use your ability to prevent injury so catches his attention.  One morning, you came to meet him at Heartslabyul so you could walk to class together.  You give him a warm smile as way of a greeting.  “Right on time dear,” he says with a smile.  Just then, a student lets his mind wander too much on the iconic eye-bending staircases and stumbles.  “Ack!” he yelps as he starts a tumble down the stair, hand just missing the railing.  Riddle reaches for his pen but you are faster.  Before he hits the ground, you have him frozen in place.  You hold him there, suspended in time, until Trey and Cater are able to grab him by his jacket.  Then you release your magic and the upperclassmen yank their junior back onto his feet, thus preventing a horrible accident. 

“Why do these stairs need to be designed so crazy!” the shaken student complains.  You feel like that was not a well-timed complaint and, glancing at your boyfriend’s face slowly turning into an angry scowl, you know you were correct.  “Because that is tradition!” you say with forced humor, patting your bristling boyfriend on the arm.  Riddle calms down and gives a sharp nod, as if to say ‘Exactly! So there!’  Then he turns to you and offers his arm with a satisfied smile.  His dearest always knows just what to do.

The next incident was during preparations for the upcoming Unbirthday Party.  A freshman was up on a ladder to paint the highest roses red when a certain grey fire gremlin runs wildly past, knocking the ladder and sending the student flying.  You fling out your magic, catching the first year in time to save him a bad fall but not fast enough to prevent a wrenched wrist.  Luckily, you know enough first aid to help him wrap it tight before sending him to the school infirmary.  Riddle looks at you, wrapping the student’s wrist, and gets a thought; you are just like a nurse.  “What’s that?” Deuce asks him.  Riddle blushes, did he say that out loud?

When the day of the Unbirthday party arrives, you sit happily on the right side of Riddle.  He smiles with such satisfaction to have you seated in a place of honor by his side.  “Urgh!”  You hear a student cry out as he trips, flinging a pot of hot tea toward a group of students.  Thankfully, you manage to catch the hot tea before it hits anyone.  You still rush over to the group to check them over (better safe than sorry!) while also scolding the stumbling student to be more careful on the uneven ground. 

You finish looking over the last student and give him a pat, “I think you are good.”  He smiles sheepishly at you and replies, “Thank you, Nurse Rosehearts.”  Your eyes widen and your mouth makes a little O shape.  That is nothing compared to the levels of embarrassment your boyfriend is experiencing.  “What did you say?” he asks menacingly.  “Ah, well you see…um Deuce told us you call the Prefect your nurse and we all thought it was fitting so…”  Riddle is now a shade of red you hadn’t realized it was possible for a human to turn, “Deuce.  If you have nothing better to do with your head than spread rumors, I take it you have no objections to me claiming it.  OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”  You mouth ‘sorry’ to your collared friend as Riddle continues to scold him.

Later that night, Riddle muses as he brushes his teeth.  Nurse Rosehearts.  That has a nice sound to it.

Your life with Leona could be summarized in one word, restful.  How could it not be, the lazy second prince insisted you nap with him whenever he could get a moment of your time.  Some of the students from Savanahclaw think it’s cute, the proud Leona wanting to cuddle his sweet little herbivore like his own personal teddy.  Those who spent the most time around him knew better.  It was for your special skills. 

Leona’s guide to napping Part 1, prepare the environment.  The botanical garden was a favorite date spot for you and your boyfriend.  The temperature was temperate, the plants were colorful background and, during classes, it was nice and quiet.  Usually. 

Leona’s ears flicker irritably.  Drip. Drip. Drip.  A huffing sound escapes from your boyfriend’s lips as he pulls you closer, attempting to drown his awareness of the sound with your comforting presence.  Drip, drip, drip.  He grips you and rolls over to his other side, bringing you along for the ride.  “Woah, come on; warn a person before you do something like that!” you scold.  He opens a single eye to glare out from, a “Tck” sound slipping out irritably when he sucks is teeth in annoyance.  “Fine, fine.  Want me to get up and see if I can tighten the faucet?” 

When he rumbles deep in his chest and grips you even tighter, you know that is a no.  ‘Fine,’ you think, ‘time for a last resort measure.’  Moments later the sound stops.  Leona’s eyes open at the cessation of the sound, instincts pulling him to alertness at the change in atmosphere.  After a moment, his gaze falls on your amused expression, of course you’d stopped it with your magic.  “Five minutes tops.  You better fall asleep fast.”  He smiles, drawing your head into his chest.  “Won’t even take two, Herbivore.”

 Leona’s guide to napping Part 2, avoid pests at all costs.  You could hear the screeching from down the hall.  Children just operated at their own frequency.  The look on Leona’s face said he found the joyful chirrups more like you’d take nails on a chalkboard.  His face visibly annoyed as the young Checka clutched at his hand exclaiming, “Unka Leona, look! Unka Leona, see that!” at every little point of interest.  You feared, if he didn’t get a break soon, Leona would snap.

“Hey Checka, want to see a cool field where you can catch butterflies?”  you suggest.  The bright face of the child turns to you, “Yeah!”  Leona smiles at you gratefully and attempts to shake Checka’s hand off.  “No, you come too, Unka Leona!” Checka insists.  Leona’s smile falls into a stern frown quickly.  You quickly move to catch his eye and give him a conspiratorial wink.  Leona looks at you for a long moment and then sighs. “Lead the way, Herbivore.”

When you get to the fields near Ramshackle, there were indeed an assortment of moths and butterflies that flitted between the grasses and blooms.  “Come on Checka, I’m a pro at this!  Let’s go!” you shout and grab the little cub’s hand to urge him to join you.  And he does, allowing Leona to slip into the tall grass for a short reprieve from his noisy charge. 

Only the peace doesn’t last.  What seems like a brief moment later, Checka pounces upon his hapless uncle.  “Ooph!” Leona huffs, giving the boy a disapproving look.  “Checka, where did you go?” you call out helplessly.  “Unka Leona, are you sleepy?” the little cub asks Leona curiously.  Leona rolls his eyes and looks at you with a look that reads, ‘rescue me.’  You rack your brain for another distraction.

Finally, even you must admit you’ve reached your limit and give up.  “Hey kid, want to do something fun?  Come here and I’ll teach you to fly.”  The young lion bounds eagerly to his feet and runs to your side.  You grip him by each underarm and toss him into the air.  “Whooa!” you both yell.  When he lands, he shouts “Again!”  So you oblige him.  Only this time, when he lands in your arms, you freeze him in time.  “Herbivore, you are horrible.” Leona teases you.  “Shush, you.  Let’s get some rest in while we still can.” 

Leona holds out an arm, inviting you to join him where he lays.  You snuggle up and fall into an exhausted slumber.  It lasted fifteen minutes, until your magic wore off.  The best fifteen minutes of your day.

Jamil worked harder than anyone else you knew.  Although you hadn’t officially gotten together after that magical night, you still somehow seemed to always be at his side.  From that vantage, you’d been introduced to the grueling schedule that Jamil kept as both a student and servant to Kalim.  You were fortunate that Scarabia had so many spare rooms.  If not for the fact that you often slept over at the dorm, you might not see Jamil for days at a time. 

The sun was barely risen when a sharp knock came at the door of your guest room suite.  You mumbled to yourself before rolling over to look at the time.  It was so early… A few minutes later, another knock sounds on your door.  You know by this that Jamil has passed your room first to light the oven, getting it warm for breakfast, and again on his way to get Kalim out of bed.  You’d like to stay and sleep longer but, with Jamil working so hard already, how could you?

A short time later, you are joined in the kitchen by Jamil.  He gives you a warm smile in welcome and you both get to cooking.  When you had first started cooking with Jamil, he barely trusted you to boil water but now, well, it’s not much but you’ve graduated to chopping veggies.  When he has time, which is rare, he tries to help you improve your cooking skills.  Each time you manage to master a new skill to his satisfaction, you earn a pat on the back and a small, “Well done.”  The praise was more precious to you than jewels.

You finish off a carrot and slide the chopped offering down to Jamil, who adds it to a skillet of simmering spices and gravy.  “What would you like next?” you ask him.  “In a moment, Prefect.  This part is tricky, so I need to concentrate.” Jamil answers.  You don’t mind at all, enjoying the sight of Jamil skillfully flipping the contents of the skillet. 

“Eeek!” came a cry from the lounge.  You both recognized that voice, it was Kalim.  You make eye contact and both simultaneously look at the sizzling skillet.  “Go,” you say, “I’ve got this.”  Jamil is starting to freak out, “I haven’t approved you to make rice yet, let alone this!”  You roll your eyes at him and gesture, freezing the contents of the skillet mid-flip.  “Ahhh,” Jamil mumbles, the beginnings of embarrassment showing on his face.  You’d like to tease him more but there is still Kalim yelling in the lounge, so you suppose that can wait until this new disaster was dealt with. (It was a spider.)

Parties were so frequent an occasion in Scarabia that you’d rather become numb to them.  You were helping Jamil set up for the latest party for…you weren’t even sure anymore.  It may have been Riddle’s horse’s birthday or something.  Anyway, you were hanging banners from the many railings of the balconies in the Scarabia lounge to prepare for the event. 

Plus, you had a secret duty assigned by Jamil.  From the corner of your eye, you kept Kalim in your sight.  Since Jamil must be away at Basketball Club for the moment, he has entrusted you with keeping Kalim in order.  This mostly amounts to stopping Kalim before he lets his wild ideas run away with him.  Speaking of which, you notice Kalim is excitedly gesturing as he speaks to (honestly you don’t remember his name, you’ve been calling him Scarabia B in your head).  An over-excited Kalim; that’s not a good sign.

“And elephants too!” you were just in time to hear.  Oh no, this had gotten out of hand.  You walk faster towards the pair but Kalim excitedly jumps up and runs off towards his treasure room.  You quickly follow.  “Kalim! Kalim! Where are you going?” you shout.  “Ah, Prefect!” Kalim smiles at you widely, clutching a rolled-up carpet.  “I’m going to take the magic carpet out to herd up some elephants for the party. Aha ha ha!”  Before he can fly off, you grab onto the magic carpet with your magic, freezing it in place.  “Hold it!” you shout.  “We can’t bring elephants to the party or…it will scare the horses!”  Kalim looks at you, his mouth going into a wide O.  Then, just as fast, it shifts into a beaming grin.  “Of course, why didn’t I think of that!  I’m so glad we have you here to help with the party, Prefect!  Aha ha ha!”  Disaster averted.

Parties were fun but they were also exhausting, especially for Jamil.  You followed him around, helping as best you could.  Sweeping up, tearing down party decorations, putting leftover food away to repurpose for tomorrow’s lunch; anything to take a small portion of the burden off your hard-working beau.  Finally, you had had enough.

“Jamil, you need to stop and rest.  This can all wait until tomorrow,” you gently admonish him.  He sets down the empty platter he is carrying and sighs.  “Prefect, I wish your magic could freeze time for the whole world, so I’d finally be able to finish everything.”  You consider this and respond, “Maybe my unique magic can’t do that but that’s not the only magic I have.” Jamil chuckles softly and gives you a look that says, ‘go on.’  You smile at him mischievously, “I’m like the fabled genie of the lamp, ready to grant your every wish.  For your first wish, I’m sending you off to bed for some rest.”  Then you drop the humor, “Even you need a break sometimes Jamil.” 

With a final long-suffering sigh, Jamil relents and lets you walk with him toward his room and well-earned slumber.  “You know, Prefect,” Jamil quietly states, “I believe the genie granted three wishes.”  You pause under the gentle illumination of a lantern set in an alcove.  “Why so he did,” you reply pensively.  Then, stepping close to Jamil, you place a hand on his cheek before drawing him down into a kiss.  His lips are warm against yours in the rapidly cooling night.  When you part, you lay your other hand on his chest and lean into his comforting warmth.  “I guess now you’ll just have to head to your room and think about what you want as your third wish.”

With one last gentle look, Jamil turns and continues alone to his room and rest.  Truly though, he has no need to consider a third wish.  What more could he desire when he already has you?

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: In Want of a Viscount by Lorraine Heath

4.5/5. Releases 2/20/2024.

Vibes: a genuine good guy hero, Business Bitches, sex beyond p -> v, and a mind for business with a bod for sin!!!!!

Heat Index: 6/10

The Viscount of Wyeth--AKA Rook, because Chessmen: MASTERS OF SEDUCTION!!!, the greatest series title of all time--is known for having a keen eye for investments. What he isn't known for is raking about town, because he's determined to be different from his horrible father, a man more known for the illegitimate children he abandoned (or worse) than anything else. But a chance, anonymous encounter with a mysterious young woman has his strict sense of self-control shaken... until he realizes that she's the American Leonora Garrison, a secret businesswoman who's accompanied her less-talented brother on a hunt for investors. Like Rook! They try to keep it strictly professional--but their attraction to each other could ruin Leonora's dreams before they come to fruition.

Look man, it's Lorraine Heath. She knows what the fuck she's doing, always. This is one of her less dramatic romances, I would say, but the character beats and the swoony "oh my god we're falling in love" of it all is unmatched. It's not so much about twists and tricks as it is about Rook and Leonora falling deeply in love, with a pitch-perfect ramp up of sexual tension that culminates in the best way possible. I can be persnickety about a slow burn--but Lorraine proves that when the author is talented, it works HARD.

Quick Takes:

--You absolutely can read this as a standalone, but I am glad that I went back and read Lorraine's Sins for All Seasons series first. For one thing, that series is just great, and everyone should read it. For another, Rook is technically introduced in The Duchess in His Bed, starring his illegitimate brother Aiden Trewlove (his other illegitimate brother, Finn Trewlove, is the hero of The Scoundrel in Her Bed, one of my most recent Lorraine favorites). There is a good bit of layering of Rook's backstory related to their father, and if you're intrigued by that after reading this--you probably will be, it's fascinating--absolutely check that series out.

In a lot of ways, this felt like an emotional culmination. You really see how Rook has matured here, and is so valiantly trying to reach his own impossible standards. He's very literally atoning for the sins of his father, and it kind of breaks your heart. On the bright side, however, this brings in not only the Trewloves but some cameos from Lorraine's Stanwick books... and I'm never mad at that!

--Going back to Rook, though... He really is a good dude. And I'm a tough sell on a good guy hero. I feel like a lot of authors write them simply to keep stories uncomplicated, and not because they actually care about the characterization. The thing is--Lorraine has always been one of the only authors who nails a good guy hero every time. Because characterization? It's her thing.

You feel that Rook is deeply good, and you feel exactly how deeply he believes in his efforts to be morally upright and restrained. He's taken responsibility for a lot of things that really have nothing to do with him. However, it's also clear that a part of growing up that he hasn't quite confronted is like... admitting that he's human. He wants things. He wants sex. And it's honestly really fun to see him become this horny mess over Leonora.

--Leonora is the kind of heroine we really don't get enough of in historicals. She's kind of nerdy, but it's really most of a "business bitch" kind of nerdy. And I think that gels really well with where she's coming from--this bustling Gilded Age America where there's a lot of risk and a lot of (potential) reward. But this is about more than just gambling on a dream--it's about keeping her father's memory alive. That alone really ups the stakes here.

I also loved how geeky she was about taking things apart (literally) and how much that amused Rook.

--Lorraine Heath watches The Gilded Age (although literally anything she's written ever in her life blows that show out of the water). You can absolutely tell. Leonora's mother is right out of the Bertha Russell playbook. She wants to get into Mrs. Astor's ballroom!!! And yes, she will be a total asshole to get there if necessary!!!

I actually really loved that Rook and Leonora could subtly bond over having shitty parents, even if Leonora's mother wasn't on the level of Rook's father. It was one of those moments of commiseration.

--Okay, so... the scene where Rook caresses Leonora's foot while "inspecting her shoe for pebbles" is everything it's cracked up to be, and it is further evidence that deep within every Lorraine Heath hero is a Thing for Feet.

The Sex:

I loved how sex was approached in this one. Because Rook is so worried about fathering bastards like his father did, he's very reluctant to sleep around, and when he does, he places a HUGE emphasis on non-penetrative sex. In other words, as he amazingly put it to Leonora in one of my favorite scenes in the book:"fucking without fucking".

In romance in general, but perhaps especially in het books, and especially in historicals, penetrative sex is seen as the end-all be-all. I loved having a historical romance hero who really was more about.... other things. Especially things centering Leonora's pleasure. Like, it does drag out the sexual tension. And I really do love it when a hero who thinks he's Got It Together finds out he Most Definitely Doesn't (... which.... a rude awakening for our boy Rook).

While this is definitely one of Lorraine's softer books, it's also one of her more character-focused ones. It's sweepingly romantic, it's about breaking cycles and recovering from emotional trauma, and it's definitely for the "ridiculous amount of sexual tension in the best possible way" girlies.

Thanks to Netgalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

[silverbladexyz]

Can you do Kaeya with a character who has a traumatic past and like how he comforts them?

Hello there! Thank you for requesting 💗 Reader's past isn't specified, and this is my first time writing for him, so sorry if it's bad :')

The image does not belong to me. It belongs to its original owner.

TW: Mentions of trauma

Kaeya comforting reader with a traumatic past (platonic)

-I think how he comforts you actually depends on how close you are with him

-If you are only acquaintances, Kaeya will most likely offer you some words of support, letting you know that he's more than happy to be there for you even if he didn't know you that well

-But let's say that you are good friends with him. Kaeya as a friend is fun, charming, witty, interesting, and never fails to make you laugh and keep you hooked in a conversation

-It isn't long before he knows nearly all of your secrets; he has a charm that makes people tell him everything without a lot of effort from him. While he may tease you a bit on some of your more embarrassing secrets, he won't use them for any bad stuff

-But one thing you never told him was your traumatic past. While you loved him almost like a brother, there are some things that even the closest siblings don't share with each other. Whenever somebody brought up the topic of your past, you merely deflected the question with a well-constructed lie that pretty much satisfied most people

-Kaeya isn't fooled by your lies; he does the same too whenever his past is brought up. He notices how you slightly avoid eye contact when you lie, and he also notices how your voice wavers just the slightest bit when it is almost unnoticeable

-As we all know, he is an expert at reading people, so after a few interactions and observations, he is pretty much able to deduce that you had a traumatic past of some sort, and you wanted to keep it hidden from everyone else

-He won't ask you or pry too much about your past. He himself had a pretty traumatising one as well, and he knows perfectly well how things like these were preferred to be kept a secret. However, just because you might not tell him doesn't mean that he couldn't do anything to help you. After he's figured it out, he'll just slightly, slightly, be more softer around you, and might even aid you with some more of your stuff

-Kaeya will also spend more time around you too. You were going to take on a commission? Nice, he's going with you too. You needed help? He's there to support you and help you. You needed some advice? Ask no more, because Kaeya is full of some of the best advice in Mondstadt. It is basically his way of telling you that he's there for you, even if it's hidden in the most common actions such as always remembering to check up on you and indirectly complimenting you more as well

-It is most likely you that will tell him about your past, when you are finally ready. You see, even when Kaeya doesn't want to ask you in fear that you'll be upset, part of him is still curious on what had happened to you way before you met him

-So when you finally tell him, he's unusually silent. The teasing and calculating side of him is gone; instead, you see a much softer and empathetic Kaeya, that not even his other friends in the Knights of Favonius had the privilege of seeing

-He is a smooth talker with a silver tongue, yet each word that falls out of his mouth now is genuine. Kaeya still keeps his usual light and clear voice, but it is laced with comfort and love akin to that of a brother

'Hey... I know it's been tough for you. You didn't deserve to go through all of that. Nobody does. But I'm proud of you, you know that? Despite what you've went through, despite having faced all sorts of horrible and unspeakable things, you still fought on. Like a true warrior. And please, talk to me if you are ever in need of a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to. Afterall, what am I if I can't even help my dear friend and drinking buddy?~ Alright, jokes aside, what I'm saying is that you don't have to deal with this alone. I'll be here for you, always.'

-He'll lightly put his hand on your shoulder and give it a small reassuring squeeze. His fingers are slightly cold; they're always cold due to his cryo vision, but the smile that he's giving you is warm and gentle

-After that, Kaeya is still his usual self around you, but he is slightly more protective of you. He doesn't want you to go through even more pain that you've already experienced, so safe to say that he'll be hanging around with you more now. Even if he's away for a mission, he'll still ask someone to make sure that you were safe

-His presence was something that you look forward to more everyday now; just knowing that he will always be there when you need him lights a beacon in your once dark world

-You couldn't have met another friend that was like Kaeya. And Kaeya could say the same about you too

So how did I go with writing Kaeya's personality? He's kind of a hard character for me to grasp, but feel free to leave advice for improvement :)

@circinuus @chuuyas-beloved @dazaiyohane @overlysour @i-just-like-goats

[gabessquishytum]

So my interest in classical lit and all the camboy Hob aus have combined to make a complete monstrosity. I present to you, a Fanny Hill AU. I'm thinking of a more traditional brothel worker Hob who left home while still very young bc his parents died and he needed to make a living. He didn't mind the hard work of farm labor or the machinery of the industrial jobs, but more often found out his supervisors paid him more to fuck him than for any of the work he did. So he went into sex work simply bc he was better at it.

Enter pompous young lord Dream, the third son of some rich lord who is due to inherit a large sum of money but none of the titles or lands his family owns. He's carefree and prefers to put his effort into his writing and visiting the brothels. There he meets Hob after the owners have decided to auction off his "virginity." He bets handsomely of course and wins not knowing Hob is already well-trained in the seductive arts. They start to slowly fall in love which means Dream starts visiting Hob every day.

Well someone's father gets a wind of this and ships Dream off to the south seas to prevent his total fall into degeneracy. They part and it's all emotional. Hob can't exactly promise to stay true as he has a profession. One he's really good at so a few years after Dream ships away, he's become the kept companion of Eleanor, a really rich widow. She helps him become a really worldly and well read individual, someone who can blend into high society. He loves her but in a different way than he did Dream, who he still constantly thinks about. None of his letters ever go through, but he still tries.

On the flip side, Dream has become rather successful on his own and has married a local island girl and had a son, but he's also never stopped thinking of Hob. He decides to move back to England after his wife has died and his son is old enough to make the trip. When he returns and seeks Hob out again, he finds not the hedonistic whore of his youth but a wise and caring man who reopens his heart for Dream and his young son. Though Hob's penchant for troublemaking is still there as he demands as soon as Dream is settled that they should marry.

- 🤜

I am kissing you on the mouth anon. I have a lit degree and this is so yummy to me. I'm thinking of all the potential classic lit aus now?? Hob as Tom Jones?? Hob as Pip in Great Expectations (he falls in love with Herbert Pocket/Dream)?? Middlemarch au!!! Dream is married to Hob’s horrible older cousin (Burgess) and everything is beautiful and tragic. My mind is spinning!

Getting back to Fanny Hill, I can only encourage you to take this further because somehow it works SO well. I'm struggling to find my usual "Yes, and" energy because this is kinda perfect? I love you for including Eleanor too btw, always love to see her getting a bit of affection from the fandom <3

I love your insane Fanny Hill au, my friend. You're a genius of our times <3

[animal-lover-forever]

(Hi, I wrote this in advance and.. you can ignore this if you want. XD I'm sorry for using they/them on you I default to it when talking about someone.. that probably doesnt look good for me actually. I just kinda blanked on you being female so I apologize!! Also I felt like it was addressing more than just you, others who have been in similar situations aswell. So yeah.. sorry for it being long. "If I had more time to write it, I would've made it shorter" or something like that.)

Hi, I am a trans person, I am VERY much all for trans people and everything being accessible to trans people. I just want to say something. I use neopronouns myself too, and weird names in general.

What Dakota said was a MISUNDERSTANDING! If they said it like "man I wish there werent so many types of math to remember" or something like that IT WOULDNT BE MATHPHOBIC?? (That is a horrible example, but I am mathphobic[/j I just hate math] and it was the first thing i could thing of)

It's not them being transphobic. They may have been able to phrase it better, yes. But arent they a kid? And also they will respect your pronouns and your gender. They'll call you whatever you want, it's just a simple misunderstanding. If they slip up, it's just as simple as misremembering. Its HARD remembering a lot, I cant remember a lot of people's name, I cant remember a lot in general.

No, just because they may have forgot doesnt mean they "didnt put in enough effort" or "arent trying" or something. Guys, GROW UP! I'm serious. One misunderstanding isnt enough to go around claiming someone as transphobic WHEN THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH MANY LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND DONT GIVE A CRAP!

They aren't transphobic. Leave them alone.

Thanks.

And yeah, I probably could have worded it differently. But that was the best I could do.

I often forget that what I say, will come out differently. As in, people will hear it one way, but what I'm thinking is totally different.

A lot of that comes down to my autism and ADHD. But mainly my autism.

I often have trouble saying what I mean. And that makes things hard. Because when I say something, people hear it, but not as I'm thinking. (I don't even know if this makes sense. But this does prove my point at least.)

I also tend to talk without thinking. And this doesn't really help my case.

I have said this once, but I'll say it again.

If I have said something offensive, it was most likely an accident. Sometimes I say offensive things without realizing it. Mostly because I didn't think it would be offensive. Or I worded it in a way that makes it seem like I'm being offensive, when I'm not trying to be.

If I ever say something offensive, just let me know. I probably didn't even know I did. So just let me know, and I'll correct myself. And try to remember for the future.

I do understand that I can cross lines by accident. Crossing lines without realizing, is something I've done my whole life. I try and try to not cross those invisible lines. But I always fail to do so.

When a line is invisible, I cross them. Why? Because I can't see them. A lot of those lines are visible to others. But they are not for me.

If you can show me that line, then I can do a better job at not crossing over them. But keep in mind that I'm slow to pick things up. So even if you try to explain, it still might take me awhile to finally see the line.

But just know that I try my best to see the lines. Despite the fact that most of them are invisible.

[quickspinner]

What do you think of Adrien redemption fics, and would you ever write one?

Wow I kind of spun out on a tangent so here's the teal deer and you can read the full word vomit under the cut:

More power to the writers who enjoy such things, but personally I'm just not interested at this point, so unless it's a side plot of a Lukanette story, I wouldn't seek one out to read, nor would I write one myself. The closest I really have is Something Just Like This, where all three characters work things out not always amicably, which I tend to think of as a prequel to All in the Family, where Adrien becomes the most welcome third wheel in history. At this point in time though, I'm just tired of Adrien and all the drama, canon and fandom, that comes along with him, and I don't care enough to put the effort in.

Since I've said it in the discord I might as well say it here--if I ran the world, I would have had Adrien take all his sad about being left out in Season 4, and decide he's going to be such a good hero that LB won't need anyone else, and he'd go off to get Su Han to teach him Mirakung Fu or whatever it is and actually step up to help LB and prove he can be the partner she needs--and maybe learn along the way that it's okay not to be LB's everything and that relying on other people is actually a good thing, he doesn't have to be perfect to be important. (That plot is free to anyone who wants to use it, feel free, drop me a link so I can see what you do with it.)

Now that I've written the longest run on sentence ever, here's the actually wordy stuff under the cut. 😂

I don't think Adrien's irredeemable, in fact I don't even think he'd be all that hard to redeem, but...let me think how can I put this, because I don't want to be like love square/Adrien stans are evil because they are not. They're just people who like something different than I like and that's totally okay. Ship and let ship.

But there are a vocal number that are, shall we say, annoying. Because of that it becomes a bit of a pain to write anything because you're always going to get comments trying to argue with you (spoiler alert: I'm not looking to convince anybody nor do I care that people on the internet think I'm wrong, so I don't debate in the comments) or that sound snobby and judgey. In the past I did write Adrien into several fics and I always got weird comments on them, and the nicest ones were along the lines of, "I'm glad you don't make Adrien a complete jerk like a lot of Lukanette writers." That's not horrible, but it's also not super encouraging. Thanks, I guess? I stopped getting those comments nearer the end too so maybe people changed their mind as the story went on. 😂 (Which is fine! A very sincere thank you to anyone who quietly stopped reading and didn't leave me anything to let me know. Totally fair.)

Honestly I had similar problems with the one true salt fic I started, where a lot of the comments were just griping about the series without actually addressing my story at all, and that's kind of a bummer for me (if anyone reading this left a comment of this type please don't feel bad, I'm not saying this to guilt you, this is all about my personal preferences as a writer and none of you are mind readers).

There are a lot of things I don't like about the series, and some that occasionally make me confused or angry enough to rant about it a little bit here or on discord. At the same time, reading constant ragging and complaining about the series just depresses me. So many salt discussions spiral into this dead end of "it's such a waste what they've done and everything is awful," and there's no where to go from there. It's not going to change, and there's nothing we can do about it, and I don't like ending up at the bottom of the pit. I do this for fun and I'd rather focus on the things I like. I will be finishing Live With It, but clearly salt just doesn't make me happy, so it's not going to become my niche anytime soon.

So ultimately my reasoning boils down to, it wouldn't be fun for me, I don't think there's a huge audience out there desperately wishing I would write one, and life's too short to read or write fic that bores you. Adrien will be just fine without me.

[meimi-haneoka]

Hello, ☺ what is your take on lillie and kaito ? I had the impression that he had (secret ) feelings for her even though he dismissed them (especially since she was about to get married at that time). Akiho seems to be a reminder of that, espcially since she looks like a carbon copy of her mom. I know he takes care of her out of guilt (for saying she was like blank book) and also because he knows what it is like to be lonely and excluded.

Aaaah I'm sorry anon, I took 20 days to reply to this ask but I wasn't really on my right mind to reply to it plus I was quite busy in the last week! 😂

My take on Lilie and Kaito, hmmm. I generally disagree with what you have written in your ask and I'll explain why.

You say he had secret feelings for her and that he dismissed them because she was about to get married, but when they had those "contacts", he was really just a child, a small child. Too small to even know what attraction or a crush could be. I honestly saw their interactions as the ones a mother, or a sister (a much older sister) could have with a small child. Like, the way he always asked Lilie questions, really like a child curious to understand something that was incomprehensible to him yet. The way she tried to be some kind of "educational" figure to teach him at the best she could in the short time she had available about what liking something, or even loving someone could mean. Let's not forget that Lilie saw the future and very likely saw that her daughter would've fallen for him, so I don't think she would've sabotaged her own daughter's happiness in that way, making her future most important person fall in love with herself, already engaged and even knowing that she'd be dead soon 😅

I won't say Kaito didn't like her in any way, it's clear that he did because the memory of her still comes now and then. It was probably that fondness that children feel towards some adult figures (and how could he not, she was literally the only human being who showed him care, compassion and kindness). But to say that he is taking care of Akiho only out of guilt and only because he's reminded of Lilie is really unfair and horrible to Akiho. It's the kind of horrible dynamic between characters that I don't think CLAMP would write in CCS. They already made their stance clear in one of the Clear Card Drama CDs when they made Eriol say "I cherish Sakura because of who she is, not because we know eachother through our ties to Clow Reed". I honestly don't believe that Kaito would've given up his freedom and his life to give Akiho a happy future if his heart was with Lilie this whole time. I think he would've probably focused his efforts towards bringing her back or something. Not to mention that I don't think Momo would've been okay with all of this and encouraged Akiho's attempts at confessing her feelings to Kaito if she knew that Kaito's heart was with someone else (and she does seem to know what's really in his heart).

I DO believe that among the reasons why he started this whole plan there IS also guilt, absolutely, because he's a really kind boy deep down (not even so "down") and of course he would've felt like sh*t at acknowledging what he inadvertedly did to the daughter of the only person who showed him kindness. But I think there's more beside it, and things changed along the way. Of course he didn't know Akiho very well when he started all of this, to him she was only the daughter of Lilie. But her situation, the fact that she's been turned into an artifact at the use of the Association and her clan, the fact that no one really saw her as a person but only as a "tool", her loneliness, alone in the world....made Akiho immediately more relatable to him than Lilie ever could be. I think that there was a little of that empathy too, among the reasons that pushed him to bring Akiho away from there. And then, the years they've spent together, traveling, experiencing, learning new things together, made a bond blossom between them, and I think he really genuinely wanted to save her for herself and not because of a "favor" to a dead magician he met when he was little. Kaito sees and understands Akiho like no other, because of their backgrounds and because of how close they are. So I really believe that he cherishes her for who she is as a person and not because he's reminded of someone else through her. ✨

[muutos]

🖊 + the berlin gang!

this went under the cut because like it got long

richard is so cool. there, i said it. whatever. you know what i'm always the first one to say he's awful, he's horrible, he's mean, he's trash, he's not to be taken as anything less than how NOT to conduct yourself. he's most things awful that a man can be, if not for his love & protective nature towards children. his preference or more-so unwillingness not to harm a child or take away their innocence as his was taken from him, at each & every turn of his childhood. however, he is a cool character. i'm most proud of his development over the years, as i was afraid to even approach bringing this man to tumblr to write with actual humans. richard & duke are the only two oc's who's lives i had planned from birth to death, in multiple verses. & despite richard's main canon seeing him dead before forty, there's plenty where he lives out his life to sixty and beyond.

he's a father many times over, & his children - while he does not have the capabilities to raise them to the full spectrum of human emotion, he did put effort into their upbringing. one of my favourite parts about richard is how he began as this baby who was rejected by their mother for the day they were born, & she seemed to know of his afflictions. he was more-less tortured, up until he was seventeen years. & even when his father would give him hope, he'd never help him. not really. never claimed richard, who's elder brother did nothing to save richard from his fate either. he went from living in a closet to the streets, & being shoved into things he wasn't ready for. his development was a bit stunted, though he did have somewhat of an education from the public school system which developed his social skills somewhat. but the man richard used to be compared to who he is today? it's insane. manipulation of an already damaged mind. richard could have gotten help.

at one point he was afraid of himself, at one point he was like -- having thoughts and having panic attacks, crying out for someone to help him because he didn't understand why he wanted to hurt people he was supposed to love. this is when he was with till, too. he didn't understand why he said sorry to paul, after hurting him horribly.. & not meaning it. knowing he didn't mean it, but also.. why? this is paul, why am i not sorry? but -- it's also now he's learning that people will believe that he is sorry, if he acted a certain way. he was learning how to manipulate people, through till or his own volition. he went from someone who couldn't look you in the eye to someone who would kill you for touching his suit, & not think about it twice.

he's kind of like a german Henry Hill with qualities of the joker, & like roman sionis. he's like, the reservoir dog. they all are.

the lovely thing about the boys is that they all became family without the luxury of choice, like most familial bonds. paul & richard's hard started as sexual as it was live-in, the six of them one after the other coming in to try & figure out the reception of the others, while curbing their own vices. four to five finding them helping the new one detox. & richard was far from the first one to have entered the home. if i recall christopher at least was there, who had been suffering from alcoholism, in addition to their shared homelessness. hence them all moving into the apartment. olli was the hardest for any of them to get used to, as even though richard was extremely combative and sensitive - and antsy - he was definitely easier for them to wrap their heads around. olli didn't say much, & was detoxing from heroin for a while after he got to the house. they all had to shack up in the living room around the couch while he puked his guts out on the air mattresses.

the kind of experiences these men have gone through together are the kind that last a lifetime. the kind that perpetuate & nurture the kind of codependency. the father/son dynamic between till and richard becoming the best and worst thing that's ever happened to any of them. i've written an ic thing about how till feels about how he manipulated the boys now. guilt he has to deal with for the rest of his life. the idea that richard might have turned out differently, or perhaps might not have had the bloodlust he now possesses. his delusions of godhood that he can hardly believe could be coming from the shaky boy who could hardly look up past his shaggy hair. who had his ear & belly button pierced when he arrived & dyed his hair foil silver two weeks after seeing his first paycheck.

they had no privacy. they continue to have none despite having such a large house to themselves, as compared to their shoddy place. till dragging shit in from the dumpster, or stealing food from people walking it back in bags, or from garbages behind restaurants. despite being dirt poor/unable to hold a job there was steady.. they were happy. & they still are. sometimes till looks back and knows this is the life they deserve, but he wondered if it was worth it.

back then they would have done anything for money & fortune & fame. for glory. for them to have what they all knew they could achieve. till had done anything or sacrificed anyone in his way, as well as his friends.

also can i talk about when richard lost his hand for a moment? till already having the club foot that was never corrected & paul eventually burnt his face up. not to mention christoph's accident that blinded him. richard was an amputee of one of his hands, & despite it being his non-dominant, he needed a lot of help that he didn't want.

he used to lash out either because of that or out of anger or guilt, and oliver used to have to sit on him to keep him steady, while the others spoke him off the ledge. especially if richard got violent. he would have to be locked up with paul or till the rest of the night.

okay i have to cut myself off