#I'm incredibly self conscious about this whole thing ^^;

[freak-accident419]

party 4 u

Rocco Gauthier x Reader

Summary: You attend a frenemy's pool party, only coming because your boyfriend Rocco was invited and wanted you to tag along. He doesn't know you're uncomfortable with the host because you didn't want to seem like the obnoxiously jealous partner. With only a few drinks to impair your judgement, you finally tell him what's wrong. Ensuring that you don't doubt him like this ever again, he finds a convincing way to reassure you. (Riff Raff Rocco x GN!Reader)

Word Count: 2.8k

Content: 18+ Smut, MDNI, gender-neutral reader, gender neutral language for reader, Lewis Pullman's Character Rocco from Riff Raff 2024, few uses of Y/n, graphic depictions of smut, pool party, jealousy, missionary, penetration (no specific genitalia for reader), creampie, reader is a bit insecure in here, random made-up side character for the sake of the plot, half-inspired by Charli XCX's 'party 4 u', I haven't finished the movie so I'm sorry if he is slightly ooc

Taglist: @funkyfable Happy reading! <3 Reblogs, comments and likes are much appreciated!

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You didn't even want to come here in the first place.

As you looked around the colorful fluorescent lights that were reflected across the pool's surface, you felt like you were being judged. Watched. It made you feel so self-conscious.

Rocco was your boyfriend of several years. He loved and cared for you like any man should for his partner, except he was blind to one predicament you faced.

Your friend group was complicated. Well, not the whole group, but just one person in it. You didn't really get along with Leah. You tried to, you swore it, but it was just not meant to be. Complimenting, conversing about things you had in common, and friendly smiles just didn't seem to work. The primary issue was her crush on your boyfriend. She specifically despised you for dating Rocco, as you entered the friend group late as a result of becoming his partner.

She liked Rocco. Who wouldn't, though? He was charming, sexy, and incredibly sweet. You didn't blame her for crushing on him, after all she probably knew him longer than you did. However, respect goes both ways. She would flirt with him shamelessly, as if you weren't already his. And that terrified you. Leah was different. To you, she was prettier. Funnier. More extroverted and outgoing than you were. She could easily steal his heart with her charms, taking him away from you.

You never spoke to him about your concerns, however. You didn't want to seem like the typical jealous and insecure partner with major trust issues. Even when she would drunkenly admit to you how much she feels that she deserves your boyfriend more than yourself, you still felt like you didn't have the authority to call her out. You didn't want to be obnoxious. You didn't want to seem insecure. You didn't want to lose him.

So you stood there on the patio with your hard seltzer in hand, watching the two interact in the hot tub with the rest of your friends. You could see them laughing, joking, and it made your heart burn more than your throat did from the alcohol.

You didn't want to be here because of this. It was Leah's party, celebrating God knows what, and she invited Rocco. You even tried to give him excuses not to come with him, but he insisted, practically begging you to accompany him. Of course, you felt like you couldn't tell him about the whole Leah-wants-him-and-hates-you situation, so you eventually gave up on refusing. You were only here at this stupid party because of him. Not for her. Not for whatever the hell she was celebrating. But for him.

Your feet were sore. You hated distancing yourself like this, just standing here and being a witness to an imminent crime of thievery.

As the evening progressed, you drank enough alcohol to be more tipsy than before. From afar, you continued to see her flirt with your boyfriend, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt glued to the ground. Stuck. As if your throat was restrained by barbed wire and your lips were sewn shut. It wasn't right for you to talk to Rocco about your concerns. You were just being dramatic. It wasn't a big deal. You were being a stupid, jealous, insecure partner. And if he found out about these feelings, he would break up with you and run into Leah's arms.

You couldn't handle watching this anymore. Her touching his shoulder, their shared laughter. Dammit. You dried your feet as you walked back inside the house.

After snickering at a joke, Rocco turned his head and noticed you disappearing inside. He barely interacted with you tonight, feeling both guilty and needy. Earlier, you told him how your migraine weakened any desire of entering either pools, so he didn't question your isolated state. But enough was enough, and he missed you. So he stood up, excusing himself out of the bubbling jacuzzi.

Inside, you gripped the handle of the refrigerator, opening it to find a bottle of water. Before you could take the cap off and hydrate yourself, you felt a pair of warm, large hands grasp your waist, as well as peppered kisses on the back of your neck. Rocco's chin rested on your shoulder, letting out a soft hum. "How're you feeling, baby? Better?"

You sigh in relief, enjoying the short-lived comfort of your boyfriend's affectionate embrace. "I'm fine," you answer quietly, finally sipping some water before placing it back in the fridge.

"Are you sure?" He presses a kiss to the side of your neck. "You look like there's something on your mind, babe."

You knew he wasn't the one at fault, you knew he was concerned for you, so you should've been kind to him. But just thinking about how he and Leah interacted with each other in the hot tub compelled you to be cold towards him. "I said I'm fine," you repeat indifferently, walking away from his arms.

Rocco huffs irritably, rushing after you. "Y/n. Don't be like that. Come on, you've been quiet and distant all night, what's wrong?"

"I told you, it's nothing," you run a hand through your damp hair in exhaustion, entering one of the guest rooms as you wished he would just leave you alone.

Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist gently to make you look at him, his deep blue eyes burning through yours. "I know when something's up, I'm your boyfriend, for fuck's sake. Just be real with me. Please," he nearly begs, eyebrows furrowed in desperation.

“Rocco, there’s nothing—”

"No, no, don't give me that 'nothing' bullshit—"

"I'm telling you the truth, there is no—"

“Y/n—"

“I’m serious, there’s nothing—”

“Goddammit, Y/n, just tell me what’s going on!”

“It’s Leah!” You exclaimed, the alcohol in your system and the intensity of the moment making it easier to confess. You felt a tinge of instant regret, knowing that Rocco would disapprove of your jealousy, and therefore be tempted to break up with you. Your eyes shut tightly in shame, sighing from fatigue. However, that scornful reaction you were expecting just didn’t happen.

Rocco pauses silently. "That's what this is about?" He mutters, searching your eyes for clarity.

“Yeah... I just..." you mumble before raising your voice, beginning to pace back and forth, "She likes you! And hell, everybody in our friend group knows that! And I really, truly, desperately tried getting along with her, but she's always hated me, and that’s because I’m dating you! And—and I don’t want to seem like the paranoid, jealous partner, but god, if only you heard the things she told me when you weren’t around!”

You finally ceased your pacing, standing in front of him with glassy, bloodshot eyes. “I didn't want to tell you all this because you would think I'm jealous and possessive, and then you would leave me for her... Hell, I'd get it if you did. For starters, she's known you longer than I do. She’s pretty, and charming—”

“Y/n—”

“And funny, and cool—”

“Y/n—”

“And I just can’t be at her level, so I’m sorry that I’m not good enough for—”

Rocco silences you by pressing his lips against yours in a brief, yet strong kiss. His face was close to yours as he spoke, "You're always gonna be good enough for me. Shit, you're way too good for me. If anything, I don't deserve you."

His hands were still gripping your shoulders from the kiss. “Look, I know that Leah likes me. It’s fucking obvious. I just figured that as long as she was respectful about our relationship, then we can keep being friends. But clearly, she hasn’t been, and I’m glad you told me about this. I’ll go talk to her soon. And if shit goes down, we’ll stop hanging out with her—the both of us. Okay?”

You frown, feeling a shameful pang of guilt. "I don't wanna be the reason your friendship with her is ruined, I don't—I don't want to affect your relationships just because you're with me."

"Baby, she's always been kind of an issue. I dealt with it in the beginning because I thought I could see past it, but clearly it's affecting you. And I don't like knowing how she makes you feel, directly or indirectly. You said she tells you about her feelings for me?"

You nod hesitantly, recalling the conversations you had with her. "Yeah. I mean, sometimes she would even make jokes about her stealing you from me—"

"Babe!" He exclaims, almost chuckling from how ridiculous that was. "Are you serious? You should've told me about this, I didn't know she says these kinds of things to you behind my back!"

"Yeah, well, that's why I didn't want to come. Just being around her makes me feel, I don't know... shitty about myself. I only came for you," you explain reluctantly. "I didn't want to seem paranoid and jealous to you, so I kept all that to myself. She knew I thought that way, too, so she always felt permitted to say anything about you to me... Riling me up on purpose."

Rocco huffs in exasperation, rubbing his forehead. "Fuck... I'm so sorry, baby, I should've seen the signs... I should've—should've—"

"Rocco, it's okay—"

"No, it's not! I didn't know how terrible she was treating you! Whatever bullshit she fed you, it isn't true." He cups your face. "Baby, I would never leave you, not for anybody, let alone for her, okay? There is no one else in this world that is more beautiful, funnier, and intelligent than you. I love you. You're everything to me, you know that?"

"Yeah," you mumble, your faltered response not convincing him.

He scoffs, looking back at the crack of the slightly open door, then at you. "Do I seriously have to prove it to you?"

"No, no, I do know, it's just..." He silences you once again with a deep kiss, his hands dropping to your waist with a light squeeze. You kissed back without hesitation, feeling him back you up against the door so it slammed shut behind you. He expertly locks the doorknob beside you before grabbing you by your thighs to lift you up, laying you down on the bed.

His lips don't leave yours as he undresses you and himself, which was a simple procedure due to the skimpy nature of swimsuits. He was used to seeing your naked body after having sex with you multiple times over the years, but he couldn't help but run his palms down your skin as if experiencing it for the very first time.

Rocco's lips traveled to your neck, leaving wet kisses there. You giggled softly at the ticklish sensation, in which he smiled, crashing his lips against yours once again. He was in love with the sound of your laugh. In fact, he was in love with everything about you. Obsessed, even.

Your eyes shut gently as you sighed deeply, feeling his hand reach between your thighs. You loved the way his warm, slender fingers would caress your flesh, knowing every place and stroke that made you feel good. He smirked to himself as he felt his fingertips dampen when they came in contact with a specific area.

With the smallest time possible in making you wait, his fingers finally slipped into your warmth, making you moan softly. You could never grow tired of that liberating feeling of Rocco's fingers stretching and exploring your tight walls. He didn't just use his digits to prepare you for his length, but he also wanted to simply please you. He enjoyed massaging your velvety insides, fingertips reaching the places his cock barely grazed. And he knew it drove you wild.

"I'm all yours, you know that?" He mutters, nipping your neck before his eyes looked into yours.

You were too much focused on the pleasure to fully comprehend his words, only nodding in your dazed state. When his words finally reached your brain, you sighed, "mm—Mm-hm..."

A soft whine escaped your lips as his fingers left you, Rocco now positioning himself between your legs.

The shocking thing about Rocco was that his favorite position was missionary. Well, not necessarily shocking, but ridiculously unexpected. Everyone he could have told would be surprised to hear it, considering it was too much of a vanilla position for a guy like him. It was Rocco, for fuck's sake.

The 'why', however, is essential. The main reason why Rocco loved missionary was because he got to see your face every time he made love to you. The wrinkle in between your furrowed eyebrows, the way your eyes went half-lidded, the way your lips parted to let his name leave your throat. It was the most intimate position he could be with you, and he didn't give a flying fuck if that made him a vanilla loser. Sure, he was always open to exploring the most wacky and kinky positions with you, but nothing could top missionary. Compared to every angle you two experimented with, missionary made him cum the fastest. It was just so good to see every single facial expression caused by the pleasure he brought onto you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands propped himself on the mattress. Rocco kissed you passionately on the lips before you felt his girth stretch you open, making you let out a lustful gasp. Your hands gripped his forearms as you feel his cock enter completely inside you. He could never get over this feeling. Your body was incredible, and never failed to make him feel amazing. He was obsessed with every aspect of you. Obsessed with making love to you.

Rocco grunted as his hips pulled back halfway just to push against you again, starting to thrust at a steady, back-and-forth pace. You loved the way his length moved in and out of your hole, making your insides flutter.

"Fuck, baby... You feel so fucking good," he murmurs under his breath, "there's no way I could ever think of leaving you, fuck no..."

Eventually, his pace increased to the point where the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the small bedroom with every thrust. The loud, wet plaps turned Rocco on, driving him to move faster. Both of you were pretty vocal, and you usually were when it came to sex; something your friend group would complain about if they ever had the misfortune of being in the area. As Rocco slammed into you roughly, the bed creaked repeatedly, its frame hitting against the wall.

"This bed sucks ass," you snicker under your breath, making him chuckle in response.

His hands moved from your hips to your limp wrists, holding them in place on each side of your head against the pillows. You whined softly, enjoying the control he had over you. Being under him was always a moment you indulged in.

Rocco's movements never faltered, his cock hitting deep spots that made you cry out his name. You felt yourself closer to the edge every time his length would piston in and out of you. Sensing how close you were with the way you pulsed around him, he released one of your wrists to bring his hand down, touching your sensitive flesh. Your body nearly spasmed, moaning louder than before as these overlapping feelings of pleasure drove you to the edge.

"I—I'm close," you whimper, clenching around his thick girth.

"I know, baby, I know," he mumbles, burying his face into your neck, "me too."

You both panted and breathed heavily, letting out lewd groans of arousal. Rocco's thrusts began to stammer, growing unsteady the closer he got to his orgasm.

"Fuck," he huffs, desperate to cum at the same time as you, "oh my God..."

"Mmm," you whine, out of breath, "I'm cumming, I'm cumming—"

"Fuck!" Rocco groans, spilling deeply inside you as you cum at the same time, your tightness gripping his cock. The sensation drove him insane as his release concluded with brief, remaining spurts that coated your walls. He held you tight, pressing his body close to yours, still snug inside of you.

He loved being inside of you. He loved cumming inside of you. He felt like it meant something much more than sex or lust. Like it meant something greater.

He slowly pulled out, huffing in disappointment at the loss of your warmth. He kisses your lips deeply, continuing to hover above you, tasting you sensually. His tongue parted your mouth, carefully slipping inside to move with yours. Your taste was addicting. The two of you had then made out for a long, breathless time, a passionate way to come down from your highs.

Soon enough, the kiss ended as Rocco finally rolled off of your body. Unable to function without your touch, he brings you in close with your head resting on his bare chest. You heard his heartbeat, unintentionally adjusting your own breathing to sync the rhythm.

His lips touched the top of your head, lingering for a bit. His palms stroked your bare shoulder and bicep affectionately. “I love you so much, baby...”

You kissed his chest gently, overwhelmed with reassurance and satisfaction.

“I love you too.”

[anistarrose]

two whole years after the finale of The Owl House, and I'm still thinking about Raine getting possessed, because, like. here's the thing. canonically, they're extremely fucking good at resisting it. just like they were clever and stubborn enough to avoid mind-control by Terra, they were also stubborn and powerful enough to really give Belos a fight, enough for him to even comment on it. but the other thing we know about Raine resisting possession, besides them just being good at it — we also know they're also incredibly self-destructive about it. in order to trick Terra, they completely sabotage their relationship with Eda, out of a desire to keep her safe but far away — and with Belos, they smash their viola, just to try to keep Belos from reaching the Titan's heart. they're a self-destructive, self-sacrificing person in general, when it comes down to what they perceive as the greater good — before they learned Eda had kids, they were willing to give their life to take out Darius and Eberwolf (whom they didn't even know were on their side).

but. despite all this, the thing is. Raine's only good at resisting possession when they're at full power. not when they're a puppet. and at first, Belos is possessing them because they're a puppet, and an easy target. Raine knows that Belos's goal is the Titan's heart, so they might even be partially conscious when Belos uses them to talk to the Collector — just unable to fight back, and forced to watch Belos use their voice, use their voice to manipulate a child. definitely, unmistakably a child, from the perspective that they have now.

so, if Raine hadn't been a puppet — well, they would've fought back, of course they would have — but, like always, how self-destructive would their resistance have been? what would they have been willing to do to their own body, just to hurt Belos, too? would they have tried to get the Collector to strike both them and Belos down, both at once? was being a puppet a twist of fate that actually saved Raine's life — from their own willingness to sacrifice themself? the tragedy of surviving, but only at the cost to their own autonomy? after Belos is dead, do think Raine thinks about that, ever? are they relieved? are they guilty? do they break down to Eda about it, or do they keep it buried, because they know Eda's dealt with her own suicidal ideation, too? does Raine ever find out how Hunter got possessed, too, and tried to take himself down with Belos, too? does Raine ever find out that Luz died, even if temporarily, because Belos was able to get to the Titan's heart? Luz, one of the very kids that Raine had tried to protect, and convinced Eda to stay alive for — dying to protect the Collector, who'd been manipulated by Raine's own voice and face? absolutely devastating survivor's guilt on Raine's part, I'm sure. that's my diagnosis.

[novthewolf]

Hey! so i'm new to this, but I wanted to ask if I could request an Alice Cullen x Fem! reader? One where Alice has been friends with reader since the Cullens moved to Forks and reader finds out the Cullens are vampires on accident which leads to a confession and a small, cute kiss! :)

For sure couldn't foresee that !

Pairing : Alice Cullen x Fem!Reader

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : fluff, dead animal, blood, english isn’t my first language.

Words : +2,6k

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Let the sunshine... let the sunshine in...

This was the song that was blasting in your ears almost every day in your little rainy town. You lived there all your life, and you were almost sure you could bet how many sunny days would occur during the whole year. 'Cause your life here in Forks was this predictable.

The same roads, the same weather, the same days, the same people... Never anything you knew, no sign of new blood in sight. And in a quite ironic way, you were right about that.

A shy ray of sun is trying to shine through the clouds to reach you, in particular at the hospital. What would normally be an uneventful checkup turned out to be much more interesting.

Your mother was complaining about the waiting time, as usual, since Forks's medical staff was always vacant. You sat on top of the table, bored, when a doctor finally came in.

"Sorry for the wait, but don't worry, there's someone coming soon to help us!" She explained that she was obviously ecstatic and needed to share that information with every patient.

That's got your attention. "Someone ?" You inquired as she pressed the stethoscope to your chest, your cold-sensitive skin shivering.

"Oh yes, a very talented doctor is moving to Forks with his family." She smiled brightly, and you mirrored her smile, excited by the news. "We are extremely lucky."

You spent all the time waiting for those 'Cullens'; you kept wishing the doctor's kids wouldn't be toddlers but high schoolers like you. You were in your senior year, and you were so thrilled that you would finally get the chance to experience something new before going off to college.

Obviously, the whole town was bubbling with excitement, except for the reservation's kids, who, for some reason, you spotted less and less. Finally, the Cullens had arrived in Forks, and thankfully, they were indeed high schoolers. However, they were younger than you since they were only in the ninth grade.

Which you instantly thought was the dumbest lie ever. None of them looked like they were fifteen; they were far from that. They were so tall—well,  most of them—and their features were so defined that there was not a speck of childhood left on their faces.

It wasn't the only thing that intrigued you. Yes, you weren't repealed, just fascinated. They were all so pale, but again, so were you from the lack of sun. And the way they moved, how they acted... One especially caught all your attention.

You noticed her a week after she arrived. Alice was her name. You and your friends were making your way through the cafeteria when you felt... observed. As you rubbed the back of your neck, you turned around to watch the furthest table, near the windows.

Two big, seemingly golden eyes were staring right at you. Her hair was deep black, cut short, and messily pointing in every direction. She was incredibly thin, her beautiful white hands proving your thoughts as her chin rested gracefully on them. You blushed when you realized how sweet her smile was. It actually widened once you finally paid attention to her, her eyes sparkling.

She was so petite too—4'10 tops. You didn't even consider yourself a tall person, but compared to her, you almost felt too big. And so gawky, too. Alice was the definition of grace, like a fantasic little fairy. Self-conscious, you quickly averted your gaze and focused instead on the display of food.

With a deep breath, you reached to pick up a tangerine when you suddenly felt a presence right next to you.

"Hello !" A cheerful voice greeted you, earning you a loud gasp and dropping the fruit in the meantime. But Alice caught it mid-air and chuckled. "A pixie tangerine ?"

She handed it to you, and you meekly took it. "It's rich in vitamins." You murmured, not meeting her eyes. Your blush darkened when she laughed again.

"I guess you do need a good substitute for the sun, huh ?" She smiled at you reassuringly. You chuckled nervously, though tension was slowly leaving your body.

"Yeah, that's for sure." You chuckked and observed her some more and felt her energy, which was so refreshing. She was like a ray of the sun herself.

From that day on, you two spent all your time together.

Alice took you shopping at incredibly expensive boutiques, and though you kept insisting on going to thrift shops, she never listened to you. Sometimes she even offered to pay for you, and every time it nearly gave you a heart attack. Alice was dragged to insane parties, ones you could only dream of intending, and you always wondered how someone so young could already have such an active life.

You have so many memories with her, finding joy in what always felt so mondane. The times she stood in between your legs to do your makeup, so close but always using the excuse of bad eye sight when you knew she could spot a sparrow hidden in its tree. But you weren't one to complain, especially when you had the opportunity to stare at her face without looking creepy.

You noticed how much she loved to sing, despite singing way more than was necessary. So, you drove her into town, and you two spent nights singing your hearts out. God, was she physical too ! Always hugging you, interlacing her arm with yours, caressing your hair and cheeks, and holding your hand. And despite how many times it happens, you always end up a blushing mess.

Her siblings didn't seem that enthusiastic about it all. But over time, you slowly made your way through their minds and gained their affection. Especially Edward's, and it saddened you to see him so lonely, even if you couldn't grasp the whole truth.

Your friends—no,  actually, your whole class—were extremely curious about the Cullens, so you were their only source of information. But you cherished your relationship with her too much to share what you had with everyone.

Of course, you were catching feelings for her. How could you not? She was so lively, caring, interesting, and beautiful. And, in a way that made your chest swell with hope, you two never put a label on your relationship. Every time Alice introduced you to anyone, mostly her family, she never called you a 'friend'. No, something that made your heart miss a beat...

"Carlisle ! Here she is, the girl I've been telling you so much about !" Alice chirped and skipped toward her father while holding your hand. She dragged you in front of her, holding your shoulders. "My Y/N !" She smiled proudly.

You were so baffled by the very idea of meeting her parents, and your dear friend was really not helping. But the doctor didn't seem to mind and grinned.

"Hello, Y/N, it's nice to finally meet you and get your real name." He jocked, and you shot him a questioning look. "I just assumed 'angel' or 'little cutie wasn't your real name." He smirked but kept a caring expression.

You gasped loudly and turned absolutely crimson toward the black-haired. "No way, Alice!" You yelled and hid your face in your hands.

"Whaaat ? It's true!" She crooned at you lightheartedly, already walking away. You rushed after her and grabbed onto her worringly cold arm.

"That's not the problem, and you know it!" You mewled, embarrassed out of your mind.

You were so fond of that memory, hence why you were smiling like a moron. Catching feelings ? Yeah, right. You fell in love with her head first, which is what you did. But in spite of your heart, a feeling kept pulling at your gut, murmuring to you that something was off.

And it's true, you did notice some odd behaviors coming from her. Not too freaky, but still queer enough to catch your attention. Some days, where it was supposed to be a simple cloudy sky, Alice would be bringing you a large umbrella. So thanks to her, you were one of the few who stayed dry that day. Plus, she would tell you exactly what subject to study with uncanny precision. And how every time you had your period, she knew it before, even before yourself, and she was ready right away to pamper you into oblivion.

What about her impressive speed, her cold skin, her ever-changing eyes? But again, you were not used to a lot of things, so maybe it was just something she did.

You trusted her so much; surely if anything was truly wrong, you would have seen it coming, right ?

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One faithful day, well, one dumb day, you decided to follow Alice in her monthly walk through the forest. She never forbade you from coming; she just never mentioned it to you. How did you hear about it then? Well, you overheard your common teacher saying that even if the Cullens sometimes didn't come to school, they were still the best in the class.

You noticed it, of course, but hearing from someone else activated your curiosity, and you were dead set on finding out what the hell she was doing. Even if it sounded creepy, you wouldn't hide the fact that you had followed her a couple of times to the forest. But each and every damn time, you lost track of her! Always disappearing rapidly when you try your best to be as steathly as possible.

But you decided that today was going to be the day! And after agonizingly long hours of searching for her, holding your compass for dear life, you finally found her. But you sure didn't expect to find out that too...

The dense forest was illuminated by the soft glow of the spring sun. The rustle of leaves and the occasional hoot of an owl filled the air as you cautiously made your way through the trees, calling out for Alice. As you ventured deeper into the woods, you noticed a faint flicker of movement ahead. You approached slowly, your heart pounding with anticipation and concern. What you saw next froze you in your tracks.

In a small clearing bathed in moonlight, Alice kneeled beside a fallen deer, her lips stained crimson as she lean over its neck. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the short-haired girl drink deeply from the wound. You stood there, frozen in the middle of the forest, staring at your friend covered in blood.

You whispered, eyes wide with shock. "Alice..?"

Alice's head snapped up, her eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light as she turned to face you. You gulped and took an instinctive step back. Blood drips from her chin as she rises to her feet, a mixture of hunger and guilt swirling in her gaze.

"Y/N... I... I can explain." Just wait a minute." She pleaded before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

You staggered backward when you understood she was trying to control herself. Your mind was reeling with disbelief and fear, and you had to force yourself to stay still. The scene unfolding before you was too much for you to comprehend. Too reel, too sudden, and so, so gruesome. Yet it felt so incredibly ridiculous and surreal.

"Are  you..." You gulped loudly, trying to control your stammer. "You're... you're a vampire ?" Brows furrowed in disbelief at your own words. There was no way...

But, ultimately, Alice nodded slowly, her expression filled with anguish. She never saw you discovering a secret this way. But once again, you showed her how unpredictable you were. She had a general view of your future: meeting her, falling in love with her, and discovering her secret. But any details were robbed, and though it freaked her out, she still saw that in you, finding delight in the way you brought her something new. I like you, in a sense.

A broken cry passed your lips in utter dread, all colors leaving your face while your heart was ready to give. Your friend took a tentative step toward you, her hands outstretched in a gesture of supplication. You whimpered and moved slightly away, your eyes fixed on the blood coloring her lips.

Alice quickly noticed and pleaded once again, wiping the blood away with her sport cloth. "Please Y/N... I didn't want you to find out like this. I never wanted to hurt you."

You felt your fear begin to give way to a surge of conflicting emotions—disbelief, betrayal, and still that flicker of lingering affection. You took another step back, your eyes brimming with tears as you struggled to make sense of it all.

"But.... how long... what ?" You were babbling nonsense while your eyes were frantically looking anywhere but her. "Why didn't you tell me...?"

Alice lowered her gaze, her shoulders slumping with the weight of her confession. She takes a deep breath, searching for your gaze once more, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I wanted to, but... well, I wasn't allowed to. I couldn't." She slowly got closer to you. "I was afraid of losing you... of scaring you away." Her puppy eyes felt different now, even if the red was softly fading away.

Silence hangs heavy between the two of you. You were grappling with the revelation, your mind racing with questions and doubts. Was that the reason she could never hang with you on those rare sunny days ? Why have you spent hours holding her hands in your own hands, trying to warm them up, to no avail? What about the most important thing ?

"Do you... well, do you plan to..." You couldn't finish your sentence; instead, you gestured loosely around your throat.

Alice was now a few feet away and shook her head, a soft smile on her lips. "No, no, never." She brushed the hair out of your face. "Though, you do smell very good."

You didn't know if you were supposed to blush or laugh your heart out, so you did both. The tension was softly fading away, the shivers shaking your body with them, despite the coldness of Alice's skin.

"How old are you then...?" You wondered in a whisper.

She grinned and rocked back and forth on her toes. "How old do you give me ?"

You chuckled and shook your head. "That's unfair.." Alice's hand rested gently on your cheek, and you couldn't lean into it. "Not fifteen, that's for sure."

Her lighthearted laugh filled the forest. "Indeed not." You couldn't help but observe her sparkly eyes and adorable cheekbones. And Alice gave back your loving gaze, which was stronger with time. "Let's just say I've been nineteen for a long time."

Self-conscience came gnawing at you once again, and you looked down. "I must have seen quite a lot of amazing people along the way."

This time, she craddled your face in her hands, tilting your head back up. "Yeah, but the one I was looking forward to meeting the most was you." Though you couldn't understand how true it was, to reduce the red on your cheeks.

The sun was coming out from behind the clouds and through the branches, delicately caressing Alice's pale skin. A soft gasp escaped your lips when you saw her skin glimmering like thousands of diamonds. Amused and softened by your reaction, she leaned and whispered only a few inches from your lips.

"And you are adorable." She didn't give you enough time to dismiss her statement, as she swiftly leaned in and placed a little peck on your lips. Your brain shorted out so much that it didn't even register the slight taste of iron.

"We can take it as slow as you want... After all, who knows what the future holds ?" She jested in a hused tone, her eyes squinting and a tender smile curling along the sides of her lips.

You chuckled and nuzzled at her hands. "As long as you don’t eat, I think it'll be okay." She laughed once again and kissed the tip of your nose.

With your little sunshine by your side, whatever the future had in stock, you were sure it would be bright.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

[voidcrystalline]

Everything I write should be plastered with trigger warnings. Don't read if you're a sensitive soul

Tears dripped off Yuna's chin, carrying her mascara to the floor. Her cheeks were a mess of dark gray streaks, her eyes were red around the edges, and her upper chest was pink. She gagged, and her whole body heaved, but somehow she had to actively think about things she hated to keep herself from succumbing to pleasure and cumming.

While holding herself still, her runny nose pressed firmly against her guard's unkempt pubes, Yuna could feel it. The cock, so deep in her throat, throbbed hard. The sensation should have been disturbing, but it only brought her into the moment and turned her on further. 

She knew she couldn’t, but, no, she had to use her tongue more. She needed to give this guy the best head in history, even if that meant seeing stars. And so, Yuna braced herself, still keeping her lips pressed against his base, and twirled her tongue as gingerly around the massive cock as she could. Her eyes fluttered, and not just because her self-imposed lack of oxygen was beginning to put her to sleep.

An orgasm was building within her, and she didn't understand why. She'd been called a slut, and maybe that's all it was. Maybe a slut could cum just from giving head, choking herself out on a cock larger around than her throat should be able to accommodate...

... or from getting her face brutally fucked.

Yuna's guard carefully took her head in his hands, one on the back of her head and one on her jaw. The caress to her jaw nearly made her cum right then, but Yuna still held back. She didn't want to cum and prove once again how slutty she was, but that grip was tightening. The anticipation—

She didn't need to wait. Her guard pulled her away, letting a bit of air squeeze its way into Yuna's lungs, and then slammed her back down again.

To Yuna it was as if he'd gently stroked her g-spot.

Again, he pushed her back and smashed deep into her mouth. Again and again and again. Each time he did—each time Yuna felt the veins of his cock grace her tongue with a brush of their presence, or his pubes tickled her lips, or a strand of her own gagged up spit hit her in the chin—another jolt of pleasure shocked Yuna's mind. He was being so rough. So, incredibly, wonderfully rough.

Her legs quaked, losing strength. She clawed at her guard's thighs. Her eyes rolled back. Yuna couldn't hold it back anymore, the only conscious train of thought racing through her head:

I'm a slut! I'm such a slut! Fuck my face! I can't stop! Please, make it stop! I can't! I can't! I can't be this big of a slut! Please, don't let me cum! Please, fuck my face! Please—

It hit her like a brick wall. Yuna's orgasm started somewhere in the back of her throat, spread through her whole body, and short circuited her brain in an instant. Her legs spasmed and gave out, leaving her weight held up only by her guard's grip on her head, still fucking her throat like a rag doll. Her fingers twitched wildly, grasping uncontrollably at the air. Her ears rang, her vision blacked out, and every nerve in her body fired off pleasure like a disco ball fired off light.

Her guard dropped her to the floor as he stepped away to avoid getting his polished shoes splattered by Yuna's piss. Yuna couldn't have noticed if she wanted to, letting her bladder spray between her legs as she twitched and writhed on the floor.

Yuna returned to her senses eventually. By then, she'd already been dragged over the puddles she'd created, her cheek resting in one of them. She was face down, tits flattened against the floor and soaked, with her bottom half lifted into the air, precariously propped up on her knees, her asshole painfully full of her guard's enormous cock. Her nerves were still struggling to come back online throughout most of her body, so she felt only the ass fucking and the shame of cumming so hard that she lost consciousness in her own piss and still wished he'd pull out of her ass and fuck her mouth again.

She shut her eyes, hoping her guard hadn't noticed her wake up and that he would just finish in her ass and walk away. She didn't want to face him as the slut she knew she was.

[bellysoupset]

Thunderstorm

"Are you even listening to me?" Sophia asked, pouting, pacing the living room.

It was a gloomy Thursday night and Vince was sitting on his parents' couch, with Livia fast asleep against his arm. He had volunteered to play babysitter, despite the fact Soph would be home, simply because being all alone in his house with his thoughts didn't seem like a good idea.

"Uh?"

"Are you listening to me?" She repeated, and Liv stirred slightly.

"Uhm, yeah, yeah-" Vince lied, moving his arm so he could scoop up the seven year old, "I'm going to put Liv to bed and get going."

"Oh my God, you were not!" Sophia cried out, following him as he picked up Livia and started to walk up the stairs, "I was asking you to help me find an affordable bike or car-"

"Ah," Vince nodded, blushing and pushing Livia's door open with his arm, "sure, bambi, whatever you want-"

"Urgh, forget it. I'll ask babbo."

"Babbo doesn't know a damn thing about cars," Vince rolled his eyes, gesturing for Soph to pull up the blankets of the bed, "I'll help, I just-" he leaned in, planting Livia on top of the mattress and tucking her in, "It's just been a bad week, Soph."

There was a beat of silence, surprisingly so, and when he turned around his sister was glaring at him in a concerned manner, hands planted on her hips.

"You never told me what happened," she said, squinting at him and following Vince out of the room, turning on Livia's night light on her way out, "do I need to kick Wendy's ass?"

Vince let out a surprised chuckle, "what? No, Wen and I are fine, we're great. She's clearing her closet so I'll have any space to put my clothes," he snorted at the thought, "you might actually wanna text her, she's getting rid of a lot of stuff you might like."

"Ah, okay," Sophia was still squinting at him, following him like an annoying chihuahua as they walked down the stairs, "are you gonna fess up? You've been so weird, like weirder than the usual, lately."

"Thanks," Vince rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen and starting the coffee machine as he filled up a mug, "Luke- Luke and I had a fight..."

Sophia leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed to her chest and she raised her eyebrows, "you and Luke? You guys don't fight..."

"Well, apparently now we do," Vince looked away from her, unable to meet his sister's judgmental gaze as he continued to say, "we had a fight that weekend he was over, uhm- Almost two months ago, now? The one he got sick with my bug...?"

"I remember that, yeah, when he came for dinner," he could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Yeah, and- And the argument sort of escalated and he accused me of cheating on Wendy-" Vince heard a hiss, Sophia's whole spine straightening up like a snake's ready to attack, "and I told him I'd end our friendship if he ever said that again... And ever since I thought we were fine, but I don't think- We are not. He-" his voice caught in the knot in his throat and Vince wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, "he basically told me he doesn't think we're friends anymore, I-" Vince interrupted himself, jaw locking in place, unable to keep going.

There was a beat of heavy silence, then Sophia took a step closer, so she could get a good look at his face since he was still stubbornly looking at the kitchen sink.

"Vin," she was frowning at him, brows almost meeting and the corners of her mouth pulled down, "what the fuck? That's not a fight, that's- You haven't talked with him since?"

He shook his head, feeling incredibly self conscious as Sophia studied him with a displeased frown, "he was really sick during the Superbowl and so was I... Then I had to come back for work and I-" he shrugged, trying to mask the fact he had simply been scared. He was fucking terrified of calling Luke since or going back to Welton and finding out Lucas meant every word when he was talking about them being friends in the past tense.

"You're supposed to be smart, no?" Sophia scoffed, pursing her lips, "the guy tells you you're no longer friends and you leave? And don't talk after? Do you even care?"

It felt like being slapped across the face and Vince jumped, startled, "of course I care, I love him like my brother!" Vince exclaimed, offended, and his sister simply shrugged, unbothered by his tone.

"Really?" She raised a skeptical brow, blue eyes sparkling, "if it was me telling you're cheating on Wendy, you'd cut relations with me?"

Vince scoffed, glaring at her and rolling his eyes, "I can't cut relations with you, Sophia," he wrinkled his nose, "but it'd be fucking rude of you to say that, so yeah, I'd be pissed-"

"But you wouldn't cut relations with me over it," Soph shrugged, unbothered and sounding a little smug. Then her face softened as a thought occurred her, shoulders dropping and smile wavering, "you do know its okay to like... Not want to be friends anymore? I'm just sayi-"

"No," Vince shook his head vehemently, "that's the opposite of what I want. Hell, I'm moving back because I miss him, this has to count for something, right?"

"What did Luke say when you told him?" Sophia asked, stealing the coffee mug Vince had forgotten about. She busied herself with blowing the smoke off its top and taking a sip, before frowning as she looked up and met her brother's guilt gaze, "you didn't tell him?"

Vin bit down his lip, "like I said, we were both sick and then he- He told me we're no longer friends and I just... I couldn't-"

"So you haven't talked with him since, you didn't tell him you're moving back- What did you do? Because you're telling me he's your best friend and, really, I was more mindful towards the cheer bitches than you are being right now."

"Don't call your friends that," Vince berated her automatically, only for his sister to roll her eyes at him.

"That's my point, they're not my friends, they're the girls from the cheer team," Sophia shrugged, "anyway, I think you fucked it."

Vince's stomach rolled at the words. He knew Soph was dramatic and only 18 and she wasn't particularly good dealing with people... But she wasn't telling him anything he didn't already think.

"Fuck-" outside the kitchen window, he saw the headlights of his parent's car as they entered the garage, "I have to go."

"Okay..." Sophia planted her mug back down, then took a tentative, hesitant step closer and Vince raised his eyebrows as she wrapped her arms around him, awkwardly so.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as she pulled him into a makeshift hug. Sophia let out a long suffering sigh, the top of her head brushing his chin.

"Hugging you...?"

He wrapped his arms around her, properly pulling her closer and immediately felt Soph trying to pull back.

"Okay, that's enough," she shoved his arm just as their parents entered the house, whispering between themselves.

"Is everything okay?" Ma asked as she caught the hug just as they pulled apart, "Sophia?"

Vince snorted at that, avoiding his mother's eyes since she could always read him like a book, "I have to go," he circled his sister, hugging his parents goodbye, "I'm hitting the road tomorrow early morning."

"I thought you weren't going over this weekend..." Ma pouted, as she followed him to the garage, where his bike was parked. Vin shrugged, putting his helmet on and getting on top of the vehicle.

"Changed my mind," he said in a nonchalant way, although he was feeling anything but. Sophia's words were swirling in his mind, what had he done besides running away? To reassure Luke of their friendship?

----------

"Jonah's right," Luke declared, as he grabbed his wallet and his jacket, causing Bella to look up from the couch where she had been putting together an old radio she thrift shopped.

"There's a sentence I don't hear every day," she teased him lightly, "uh- Where are you going?"

"Vince's," his whole face was tingling. It was only two days since Jon had asked him to be his best man, a week since the whole Superbowl fiasco and Lucas had slowly but surely arrived at the conclusion that he'd apologize and do whatever it took, but he was not going to end his friendship with Vince.

"It's 7 PM, Luke," Bella frowned at him, "you'll arrive at 11, I don't want you on the road so late..."

"I can't sit here, Bell," he paced the living room nervously, "It's driving me insane, I need to talk with him."

"In the morning-"

"No, tonight," it was overdue, as far as he was concerned. He shook his head stubbornly, trying to make it clear this was not a fight Bella could win. She probably arrived to the same conclusion, because her blue eyes got a frustrated glint to them.

"Okay..." She sighed, "call me as soon as you get there, please?"

"Will do," Luke pressed a kiss to her forehead, clicking at his car keys, "I'll be back for lunch tomorrow," he promised, "I love you."

"I love you too, don't let Vin puppy eye his way into things," Bella warned him, walking to the door so she could see him off, "Lucas."

"I won't," he swore, then cringed as he felt the cold breeze cut through his jacket, almost causing the front door to close on Bell's face. His wife looked unusually displeased by the gloomy weather, probably because he was about to drive for four hours.

Bella had a point about him letting Vin win any argument as soon as he pulled out his puppy eyes and there was a small, vindictive part of him that thought he was being stupid by driving over. Vince had messed up and he was the one who should be apologizing, not Luke, he genuinely believed that-

Except he didn't. End of the day, it didn't matter who was in the wrong, it didn't matter the heartbreak or anything else. He wanted Vince in his life, so pride be damned, he was going to apologize if that's what it took.

The rain started halfway through his drive there, a heavy thunderstorm with lightning bolts painting the pitch dark sky fluorescent blue for a split second. Luke's head started to throb, due to the flickering lights, and he groaned, rubbing at them with one hand, while killing the radio that had just turned into static.

Outside of Vince's place, a streetlamp had stopped working, so Luke couldn't see much as he opened the car and rushed through the rain to his best friend's porch, hammering on the door.

"Vince!? VIN!" he was drenched wet and shaking from the cold as the wind howled, so maybe his knocks were harder than they should've been and for a second Luke worried about being rude, only to realize that Vince wasn't even home.

Great.

He shuddered as the wind picked up. His phone was inside his car and he could rush over there to grab it and call Vin, maybe crank up the heater, but he was so worried he'd call Vince only to learn that he was out with Max. It felt pathetic, to be this jealous, but Vin hadn't bothered to talk with him since the Superbowl and Luke couldn't do much about the way his thoughts were whirling, making up scenarios...

There was the flicker of yellow of Vince's bike as he turned the corner of his street and then parked before the house.

Either he had headphones on or Luke's voice was too low, because as he said "Vince!" a thunder swallowed it up and his friend continued to march forward to the porch, nearly trampling him over. He shook Vin's arm and the other man whirled around, startled.

"JESUS CHRIST!" He yelled, nearly jumping out of his skin, "LUKE!?"

"YEAH!" Luke yelled over the thunder and Vince did nothing to his insecurity as he frowned instead of smiling, giving Lucas a once over and then pulling him inside the house, shutting the storm outside.

"What are- Shit, for how long have you been out there? Why didn't you call me?!" Vince asked, buzzing around the house so he could grab a towel in the bathroom and throwing it on top of Luke's head. Lucas was shivering, teeth chattering, face all pale and raindrops running down from his dark hair, glued down to his head.

"Fi-figured yo-you'd be here soon," Luke mumbled, drying his hair and stripping off his soaked jacket, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk with you-"

"God, don't apologize," Vince interrupted him, harshly, and Luke's mouth snapped closed. Okay, so maybe he had underestimated how messed up things were...?

But then Vince continued, "I was going over tomorrow, I also think we should talk…"

Suddenly he couldn't breathe. Anxiety causing his stomach to freeze over, fingers stopping as he clutched the towel and mumbled a little pathetic, "Ah..."

Vince was done with him. All he had feared from the second Vin announced he was moving to Doveport came crashing down. The little nagging voice that bothered him as he was the only one who visited, as Vince brought Max everything, as the distance drifted apart... Vince had been trying to let him down gently, but Luke had made it impossible and now he was there, freezing to the bone, shivering violently, and Vin was going to spell it out for him.

He couldn't breathe.

Luke stumbled back, shaking his head, "no, don't- Don't say that-" he mumbled through numb lips, a harsh gag wrecking through him and little colorful dots appearing in his vision.

"Luke?"

He wheezed instead of answering, then reached behind him blindly until he found the door handle and pulled at it, so he could stumble back outside in the middle of a storm to retch on Vince's front lawn.

The world tilted and he lost his footing on the slippery porch, sinking to his knees, only for Vin to stop him from fully falling.

"Geez," Vince sank to his knees behind him, rubbing a hand up and down Luke's back, "you're okay buddy, I got you. Get it up."

Lucas didn't need anymore incentive. The blood was still singing in his ears and he was struggling to hear Vin through the noise, his whole body pulsing as panic clawed at him, making it harder to breath. His stomach rolled again and all the coffee he had chugged since morning came rushing up, exploding past his lips in one big bitter gush and splattering on the grass.

He sucked in air, raspy as if he had been drowning, and coughed, spitting the ropey saliva accumulating in his mouth. The storm raged on, more rain splashed on his face, caused Vince's curls to whirl around his face.

"Are you sick?!" Vince's hand, the one not on his back but holding him by the bicep, moved so he could cup Luke's forehead, pushing back his sweaty waves, "you don't have a fever, you're freezing!"

"Not-not sick..." Luke gasped, doubting Vince could hear him over the storm, before retching once more. It was unproductive, but didn't stop his stomach from contracting several times more. He tugged on the neckline of his shirt, feeling like it was suffocating him, "can't breathe."

"Shit," Vince's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater and Luke clawed at his neck, wanting to crawl out of his skin. It was not an unfamiliar feeling, the thousand little needles prickling his face and neck, the way his head was spinning and the fact his thoughts were running in circles. Vince's gonna leave me.

"Luke, Luke, hey-" Vince patted his cheek, forcing their eyes to meet and Lucas blinked quickly to get rid of the blurriness in his sight, only to realize those were tears as they ran down his cheeks to meet Vin's fingers, burning hot tears instead of the freezing raindrops, "deep breath through your nose, c'mon-" Vince mimicked a deep breath, nostrils flaring and Lucas took a second to imitate him.

"Now hold it," Vin held out his free hand, the one not cupping Luke's sick covered chin, counting from 1 to 5, "out through your mouth, slowly..."

He pushed Luke back, so his back was resting against the front door and they weren't getting slowly bathed by the rain.

The air was shaky as it made it past his lips, catching in the back of his throat as Luke let out a sob. His thoughts were scrambled, eyes still searching Vince's face for some sort of silent communication. He was making a mess out of himself-

"LUKE," Vince shook him, like a rattle toy, as he started hyperventilating again, "look at me-"

"You-you," he tried to articulate, then was interrupted by a gag. Vince frowned, his dark brows meeting in one angry caterpillar, brown eyes meeting Luke's.

"I?"

"Please don't- Don't leave," Luke choked out and the tears he had been holding back, or thought he was holding back given the ones that had already escaped, came bursting forward. It wasn't cute, it was gross sobs and snot running down his nose and his whole face swollen up as he clutched Vin's shirt like a boy, fist so tight the knuckles turned white.

"Shit," Vince tried to pull back, then melted into the hug, embracing Luke completely, "what the fuck, Luke, I'm not leaving..." Luke hadn't felt physically small ever since he was sixteen, but now he felt like a little kid as Vin's arms wrapped around him into a tight hug.

It seemed like it took forever, but was probably just about six to eight minutes, for the sobs to taper off and his breathing to calm down. The shame that took up the space of panic was just as claustrophobic and overwhelming. Luke pulled back from the hug, against his wishes, and wiped at his face. He had made a mess out of Vince's porch and out of his apology. Hell, out of all of this...

"You haven't had a panic attack in years," Vince pointed out, knee bumping with Luke's as he moved to sit facing ahead to the street, so they were side by side on the step that separated his little kitchenette from the street.

"Not true," Luke's voice was scratchy and he forced out a shuddering breath, "had one back in the waiting room when Bell had a miscarriage... But they lessened since I figured out the medicine situation, yeah."

"The medicine situation," Vince parroted and Luke flinched, twisting his hands. How large was the rift between them, really? He had told Vince about being on antidepressants, but only way after the Big Depressive Episode A.K.A Christmas had happened. He hadn't wanted Vin to think it had been his fault, because it wasn't.

"Yeah, uhm- The first meds they put me on made me super nauseated, so I stopped taking them, then I went back..." he pulled on his neckline again, averted his eyes away from the puddle of coffee being absorbed by the grass, "it's not a big deal."

"Uh-hu," Vince scoffed, rubbing his stubble, "but you're on meds now and you had a panic attack," he turned to look at Lucas, his eyes piercing the side of his face, "I'm sorry I said I-"

Luke interrupted him with a nod, ducking his chin to his chest and blowing out a little burp as his stomach churned uneasily, "yeah, I know-"

"Shut up for a second," Vince scoffed, turning so he was properly looking at him, "look at me."

Bossy, Luke thought, but obeyed. Vince's chocolate brown eyes were huge in his face, worry clouding them, "I was angry and I wanted you to hurt," he admitted, quietly, "and you were being a jerk, accusing me of cheating or like I could ever-"

"Vin-"

"-But I shouldn't have said that," Vince ignored him, speaking louder and over Luke's weak attempt to interrupt, "I knew it was going to hurt you and I said it because of it, but I shouldn't have. I didn't- I didn't realize the rift between us was so severe and I took for granted the amount of work you were putting into our friendship and I was dismissive about Max-"

"I was a jealous prick-"

"Please, let me finish," Vince glared at him, voice all thick and choked out as if there was a knot in his throat and that caused Luke to feel a stab to his chest. It was one thing to feel rejected and abandoned, so insecure in their relationship that it felt like it was easier to blow it all up, it was another thing to see Vin hurting this much. Lucas felt like an asshole for being so dramatic that they were now in this situation... "I'm sorry I said what I said," Vin mumbled, his chin wobbling, "I need you to believe me, I didn't mean it like that. I could never end our friendship, I- Fuck, Luke, I was a jerk, but this past week has been hell on Earth, I don't want us not to be friends anymore, I don't want us not to talk, I miss you-"

"Please stop," Luke all but whimpered, "I did this, I insulted you and I was jealous about Max like a fucking toddler in the playground and I- I shut you out. I blew this out of proportion and it was because I didn't want us to stop being friends and-"

"I'm moving back to Welton," Vince blurted out, interrupting his speech.

Lucas' mouth snapped closed, eyebrows jumping up and disappearing into the rain soaked chocolate waves falling over his forehead, "what?"

"I'm moving back," Vin repeated, suddenly sounding unsure and hesitant, "I- Just so you know, I decided it before we- fuck, was it even a fight? Or just us falling apart?"

Yeah, no. Luke shook his head vehemently at the idea of them falling apart, the tight grip in his chest returning.

Vince let out a heavy sigh, "I miss you," he said in a whisper, before repeating himself, louder, "I miss you, and everyone else and- And I will miss my family, Luke, so much, you have no idea how much-"

He didn't, not even remotely.

"But you're my family too," Vince finished his sentence and Luke's head snapped up, heart hiccupping in his chest, "all of you. I mean, of course I miss my girlfriend like hell, but I miss you and Bell and Leo and Jonah and my town... And you-you told me, if I stayed in Welton for Wendy, if I didn't take a chance at what I thought I wanted, I'd resent her... Well, I resent myself here, I resent not being a part of the group and I resent the distance between us and that I wasn't there for you and that you ever doubted our friendship..."

"But in Welton you're going to miss your family..." Luke argued, weakly, just because he felt like it was the proper thing to be done, when in reality he was almost dizzy with relief and selfish happiness at Vince's confession. The worm eating away at his sanity was squished under Vin's decision, the fear that the relationship wasn't reciprocal, that he was giving so much of himself to someone who was going to abandon it at the flick of a hand like his parents had.

"I know," Vince nodded, "and I'll visit, I'll visit a lot... But I can't stay here just because I'm afraid they'll have their own lives without me, instead of living my actual life, Luke. Welton is my life, you are, all of you."

It was like suddenly he could breathe.

Luke slumped to the side, giving up any pretense at control or nonchalance, collapsing fully against Vin's arm and smiling as his best friend let out a squeak and scrambled to grab him.

There was a loud thunder, a lightning bolt illuminating the whole yard.

"Don't pass out on me!"

"I'm not," Luke sighed, turning his head so he could press his nose to Vin's bicep, breathing in and out deeply, "I should not be this happy you're coming back."

"I'd be fucking wounded if you weren't," Vince scoffed, shaking with a surprised chuckle and moving so he could wrap an arm around Luke's shoulder, personal space be damned, "...Are we- are we good?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded, then turned his head up, so he could look at Vin, "are we? Are you still pissed at me?"

"Jesus, Luke, I wasn't mad at you even for a minute after I said that..." Vince sounded frustrated, "please tell me you get it, I hate feeling like we're speaking different languages. It drives me crazy."

Luke let out a huff, nodding, "we're good..." then he pulled back, a big smile on, "you told Wen you're moving back yet? Does anyone know?"

"Wendy does, of course. She's over the moon," Vince grinned, shoulders dropping as their normal dynamic creeped back in, "I told my family this past week and..." he hesitated, but Luke caught on it like a shark.

"And Max too."

Vince blushed, furiously, "and Max too," he agreed, "I just- I like the guy, it felt unfair to up and leave without explaining why I'm going... Like what I did with you guys. Can't keep repeating the same mistakes, right?"

"Right," he nodded in agreement, although Lucas thought that was horrible timing on Vin's part to start acting all mature, "how did he react?"

Vince shrugged, "he seemed fine," he sighed, thumping Luke's back, "let's go back inside and you can tell me everything else I missed."

Easy like that, they were back in synchrony.

[milkiie]

𝐿𝑂𝐴 𝑇𝐼𝑃𝑆 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝐵𝐸𝐺𝐼𝑁𝑁𝐸𝑅𝑆 (𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒)

from someone who's been manifesting with ease since they were 12

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 1 : start small

if you have not yet manifested anything, start small. yes, you are already capable of manifesting big, life changing things. but a crucial part of manifesting is belief, and, even if you fully consciously believe you can, your subconscious might not; after all, youve been taught something else your whole entire life. so, start small. ease your subconscious into this new concept of how the world works.

when i first started manifesting, i did it this way. first thing i manifested was lip gloss. then i just upped the ante with each manifestation

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 2 : use methods

use the freaking methods. yes, you can manifest without them. yes, the power is in you. but people invent methods for a reason. they are not limiting you, they are not bs, they are not "making things more complicated"

like a wizard's wand, a manifestor's method channels that power and points it where you want it. a method is your conscious mind's way of calibrating your subconscious mind to focus on the things you want it to focus on. they also give your subconscious mind a relief from confusion. your subconscious has it engrained that work must take place in order to receive. using a method gives your subconscious what it needs - it tells it "see? we did work. we can receive now"

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 3 : work on your self concept

self concept really is the end all, be all. seriously. everything is so much easier with a good self concept. having a good self-concept, and knowing you are worthy will absolutely change the game, i promise you

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 4 : there is no pushback

the 3d is not resistant. it doesn't have a mind or a will. don't think of it as an enemy, think of it as a canvas that you can fill with anything you like

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 5 : oversimplify

oversimplification makes it harder. i'm not kidding about this. the way this community has oversimplified loa is actually to our detriment. let it require things. please just let it require things. it will make it so much easier and so much faster for you if you just let it take its course instead of stripping it to the barest of bones

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 6 : be patient

in the same vein, let it take time. just let it flow in. don't rush it, don't expect it to be instant in your perceived reality. the more you push it, the longer it will take, because you're second guessing yourself and your manifestation when you stress about it or try to hurry it up. trying to make it instant in your 3d will make you waver because 3d, by its nature, needs time to load

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 7 : stop overconsuming

stop overconsuming. stop reading posts all day, you are filling your mind with convoluted, confusing information mostly made up of jargon and buzz words. it's not your subconscious' fault that you struggle to apply the law after reading disorienting paragraphs on it that contained no substance. it's not yours in general. its natural to become unsure when there is seemingly so much. relax, step back, cleanse your mind. you already know what you need to know. go, apply it, live your life, be free

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 8 : make your own rules

make your own rules. make a mind map, write a blurb about what you know about manifestation, write them out in bullet points, whatever. keep those rules, return to them when you feel the need. when you feel you have overconsumed, or are becoming uncertain, or even as a part of your daily manifesting routine if thats your thing, having your rules just written down somewhere is honestly an incredible affirming and grounding tool

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 9 : stop comparing yourself

don't compare yourself to anyone. not your moots, not any influencer, not irl people you know who are doing loa. loa is a part of spirituality. it is a personal journey to reclaim your power. and it works different for everyone. keep your eyes on your plate

─── ִֶָ ๑˙ 🦩 ̟ !! number 10 : follow your own lead

follow your happiness. just do it. do not worry about anything, do not question yourself, just do what makes you feel good. understand that from the moment you decide what you want to manifest, the universe begins to shift itself to accommodate your wish, and you start to align with receiving it. your intuition and your heart are leading you down the right path. so just do what will make you happiest in a given moment. you do not have to ignore the 3d, you do not have to robotically affirm, you do not have to do anything but that which you feel drawn to do.

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading this long thing. i love you, have a candy 🍬

[suzukiblu]

Day thirty of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU. And yes I DID win NaNoWriMo, thank you for asking. ❤ This is the last day of NaNo, obviously, so I'm gonna take a little bit of a break from this fic due to being just sliiiiightly burned out from writing 1k+ a day in it for the past month and all, but I intend to start editing it and posting chapters of it on AO3 in the next week or two, so it'll be both easily bookmark/subscribe-able and updating on there soon!

They go through all the boxes, Tim suffers a bit for it, and Kon laughs and makes him suffer more, the bastard. It’s fun, though, even if now Tim would really prefer to never stick his hand in another box ever again in his life. 

The last box Kon directs him to is full of layers of distinctly cashmere-esque fabrics, and Kon smiles a little and ducks his head again. Tim is disgruntled, but charmed. 

They wander through the exhibits, and Tim feels pretty good about his activity-picking when he realizes Kon’s stopping to look at all of them and actually seems interested in all of them. They have to circle back a couple of times so Kon isn’t doing anything too super-powered in front of other guests, but they do hit all of them. Some of them are more interesting than others, in Tim’s opinion, but Kon still tries them all. Tim wouldn’t complain even if he were bored out of his mind, though, given how invested Kon gets in sorting and mixing the tables full of colored glass beads and making waves and whirlpools in the water fixtures and manipulating the kaleidoscopes and chimes and everything else. 

Kon spends the least amount of time with the auditory and olfactory stations, though he’s happy to try all the little hors d'oeuvres that Tim assumes are supposed to be covering “taste” for the exhibit. Visual he seems generally curious about, but definitely tactile wins. Like–far and away, does tactile win. They spend twice as much time at the tactile stations Kon is least interested in as they do any two of the others. Tim doesn’t mention it in case it’s not on purpose. He still doesn’t want to make Kon feel self-conscious or anything. 

Anyway, the tactile parts of the exhibit were the whole reason he picked this as a date activity, so what, is he going to be bothered by having made the correct deduction or assumption or whatever? Not freaking likely. Actually if anything he’s going to need to privately gloat to himself about this later. Bask in it a bit. 

Also take some notes for future dates and things to buy Kon and whatever else. 

More cashmere, to start. A lot more. 

Tim sneaks a few more pictures of Kon as they walk from station to station. Kon laughs at him every time he catches him and takes one of him too, which is incredibly flustering. Tim cons him into a few selfies in self-defense, which turns out to be a terrible idea because it still involves him ending up in pictures and, worse, involves him ending up in pictures with Kon, who takes the excuse to press in close and kiss his cheek and just be all kinds of appallingly adorable, the asshole. 

Kon uses the first picture he took as Tim’s contact picture and makes one of their shared selfies his phone background. Tim is mildly mortified but also desperately wants to earn lockscreen status, which is a terrible idea because what if Kon ever takes his phone out around the team or Red Tornado or, god forbid, Bruce? 

Tim should definitely make sure Kon doesn’t put him on his lockscreen. 

. . . but like, if he did . . . 

There’s a clay station. Kon stays at that one the longest, making weird little abstract shapes and surprisingly accurate miniature versions of the sculptures tucked away in the corners of the gallery with TTK. Tim hadn’t even noticed him looking at any of the sculptures, but in retrospect he never actually needed to “look” at them, did he? And on that note, Tim guesses the accuracy shouldn’t be any kind of surprising either–Kon must have a really good sense of spatial awareness, if nothing else, and of how things “should” be shaped. 

By the time they get through the last station of the exhibit, they’ve been at the museum almost twice as long as Tim’s most optimistic estimates had allowed for and he’s had to sneak off to the “bathroom” for five minutes to push their reservation back an hour. Tim has absolutely zero intention of rushing Kon, especially if he’s having a good time, so it just makes more sense to reschedule than to put him on a schedule. 

Though he did have to actually make sure to go into the bathroom to do it, since Kon might’ve noticed him not heading that direction. Tim doubts Kon’s paying attention to what anyone’s doing in the bathroom, for obvious reasons, but he still probably would’ve noticed the date he was briefly concerned might be a supervillain just ducking around a corner to make a phone call ten yards away, no matter how Bat-stealthy said date was about it. Like, that seems like a stupid thing to expect him not to notice. 

They stop by the gift shop on their way out–well, Tim detours Kon to it with subtle herding, anyway–and Tim manages to convince Kon to pick out a couple of things. He ends up with a couple of sort of fidget toy-type puzzles and a little three-pack of little tubs of a clay-like play sand in bright colors, which Tim thinks is probably meant to function as some kind of stim toy and was probably something specifically sourced to go with the event, and Tim “accidentally” throws in a couple of fancy candy bars from the front register. Again: Kon needs calories that weren’t directly sourced from cafeteria food from a definitely-not-OSHA-compliant cloning lab. 

Maybe Tim can send Kon a fruit basket or ten while he’s still stuck at Cadmus. Those probably come in tropical themes. 

Alternately, maybe he can just kidnap Kon outright and trap him in a nice new cul-de-sac until he gets used to it. He could get him actual groceries, then. Lots of them. Fruit and vegetables and entire spreads of “things that weren’t made in an OSHA-noncompliant cafeteria”. That’d be nice. 

Also he could send that Hawaiian food truck by on the daily, if they were up for it. 

They share the candy bars on the walk to the restaurant–meaning, Tim takes two perfunctory bites of each and tricks Kon into eating the rest with basically zero effort–and it’s . . . nice, honestly, just walking around together. Just being together. Not that this is new knowledge, after the mall, but it’s still novel enough that Tim can’t help indulging in and enjoying the experience. They don’t usually get much time alone together, much less time that isn’t spent either fighting supervillains or dealing with emergencies. So–it’s nice, yeah. 

Tim likes it, he means. 

They make their adjusted reservation, and Kon peers around the restaurant awkwardly as they’re led to their table. Tim resolves to do whatever it takes to get him to relax, up to and including embarrassing himself in some way or another. He’s probably going to do that anyway, given how most of these meet-ups have been going. 

“Does it qualify for ‘nice’ enough so far?” he asks once they’re seated, and Kon blushes, then flashes him a grin. 

“It’s okay, I guess,” he says, then bites his lip with a brief flicker of insecurity as he glances down at the menu–specifically the prices on the menu. “Um . . . are you sure you wanna spend this much on me, though . . . ?”

“I want to spend my entire trust fund on you,” Tim says matter-of-factly, and Kon lets out a weird little laugh and ducks his head again. It works a little better this time, since he has the menu to hide behind right now. 

“I already like you, man,” he says, which is still inexplicable but not something Tim is actually gonna argue with. “You don’t have to keep buying me stuff.” 

“I like buying you stuff,” Tim says. “I’m gonna keep doing it as long as you’ll let me.” And after that, he’ll figure out a way to sneak doing it. 

“Just because you like it?” Kon says, glancing at him over the top of the menu. 

“Because I like you,” Tim says. “I mean, no offense to the hostess, but I wouldn’t enjoy buying her dinner this much.” 

Kon bites his lip, then ducks his head again. His face is red. Tim feels the urge to kiss him again. He probably should’ve found time to do that on the walk over or something. Or as soon as he first saw him. Or just at any point so far tonight, because the urge is getting seriously distracting now. 

“So when you said you wanted to go somewhere after this too . . .” Kon trails off, flushing darker. 

“There’s a late show at the planetarium about the sun’s role in our solar system and the life cycle of stars,” Tim says. It might be too loose an association, but . . . “I thought you might be interested in checking it out.” 

Kon stares at him for a moment, then turns absolutely crimson and hides behind his menu entirely. 

“Okay,” he manages, his voice a little cracked. Tim’s pretty sure he could’ve said he’d rented them a hotel room and gotten a less embarrassed reaction. So . . . that’s a thing. 

Okay. 

“I really do want to spend the money on you,” he says. “Apartment and all.” 

“An apartment,” Kon says, glancing over the top of his menu at him again. “And bills and groceries and an . . . allowance.” 

“Yes,” Tim says. No point in beating around the bush, he figures. It’s all things he’s already told Kon anyway. 

“And not just because I saved your life,” Kon says. 

“Not just because you saved my life,” Tim agrees. “I just want to give you those things. Or anything you want, really. Which–well, what would you want?” 

“Um,” Kon says, just barely lowering his menu as his eyes skate away. “Well . . . could we like . . . keep hanging out outside the theoretical apartment and stuff? If we did . . . that?" 

Tim feels something absolutely giddy and absolutely painful in his chest, hearing that question. Just–what does Kon think, that he just wants to toss a lease at him and never see him again? Or just only come over to . . . actually, wait, maybe Kon does think–ugh. Ugh. Fuck, that is not what he’s trying to make Kon worry about here. 

“Yes,” Tim says firmly. “As much as you want.” 

“Mm,” Kon says, biting his lip again. His face is still red. Tim wants to give him every single thing the world hasn’t given him, which he knows for a fact is a truly fucked-up and probably borderline-insurmountable amount of things. 

But he still wants to give it all to him anyway, and then think up a few more things besides.

[hedwig221b]

hello darling i’m rereading treasure for the unknownth time and i just got to the bit where derek tells stiles his thanks was not received because he kissed him on his scarred cheek and then tricks him into kissing him on the lips and im kicking my feet and giggling like a schoolchild i love how you write them with my whole heart!!!

HELLO LOVE I AM NOW KICKING AND GIGGLING TOO like?????????

I ate with that scene and I am so happy to see you feasting on it as well 💗

Read Treasure, everyone. It will ruin you in the best way

Should I post the scene here? I'm gonna post it

“I distinctly remember thanking you. Right here,” he tapped the tip of his finger on Derek’s cheek and glanced up at him. He was still astonished at his past self for kissing the wolf there.

And Derek… smiled. His lips stretched wide and smug, so mischievous, he looked years younger. Sparks of pleasure danced in his eyes, as he stared at Stiles’ face. The sight made Stiles’ knees weaken.

“What?” he blinked at the wolf, as more and more heat spread on his face.

“I am sorry to announce,” said Derek, while looking not sorry at all, “that your gratitude was, in fact, not received.”

“What? Why?”

“Where do you say you left your thanks?” asked Derek and, when Stiles, blushing up to his roots, tapped a finger on his cheek again, hummed. “That’s right, yes. On one area of my face where I feel nothing.”

Stiles froze, his gaze sliding unconsciously to the right. He kissed him on the cheek with the scars going through it. The raised pale tissue had no wish to feel Stiles’ affection.

“So?” Derek smirked, leaning loser. “What are we going to do?”

Stiles swallowed and licked his lips. “I…” he breathed. “I can try again, here.” He stroked a finger down the other side of his face, his skin tingling from a stubble.

“Please, do.”

Now he was trapped.

Stiles licked his lips once more, then carefully put his trembling hands on Derek’s chest for support and stood up a bit to reach his—

At the absolute last moment, Derek turned his head and met his lips.

Stiles immediately leaned away, looking up at him with wide eyes. Did he really?.. Did they?..

Derek’s gaze slid down on his lips; he cupped Stiles’ face, tilted his head just right and kissed him.

His lips, his hands, his breath — everything about Derek was hot. His stubble prickled against Stiles’ soft skin, but the sensation was quickly dismissed in favor of the kiss itself. Derek’s kiss was quiet, yet firm, as he captured the lower lip with his teeth and tugged. All of this incredible gentleness sent fiery-hot strobes of lightning through Stiles’ body.

Derek slid his hand around Stiles’ waist and pressed him to his front; a gasp flew out of Stiles’ mouth and the wolf took his chance.

At the first slide of a wet tongue against his Stiles lost it. No one ever held him like this, never touched with this reverence. Derek held his body and caressed his face, as if Stiles was a petal, freshly taken from a budding flower.

Stiles slid his hand up and around Derek’s neck, keeping the other on his chest. The wolf’s heart was thudding against his palm in a sweet greeting.

Mewls and barely heard moans escaped his mouth without any awareness or conscious thought from Stiles, only to be caught by Derek’s hungry lips. The wolf’s chest vibrated from the rumbling burning inside.

They’ve lost themselves in each other, forgot who they were and where. The only thing that mattered was that the kiss should be kept on going. Stiles never wanted to let this man go. What was life like before this? Why did he live it without the feeling of Derek’s lips against his?

[butter-bubbles]

Why Not Making Byler Canon Would be a Massive Mistake...

Okay, so clearly the Byler brainrot has been getting to me. But this post will be about how Byler would fundamentally improve Mike (and Will's) characters, and making them canon would be an insanely easy way for the Duffer brothers to prove their masters in story crafting and writing.

Unlike a lot of people on this sub, I'm not one to believe Mike was secretly in love with Will the whole time and was using El as his beard to conceal being gay. I think there's enough evidence to prove that he was in love with El, probably for all/most of S3. I'm also not one to just ship two guys because I'm a "teen girl who likes f*tishizing MLM" like a lot of (honestly mainly misogynistic) believe.

I ship them for one simply reason: Mike, especially, becomes an infinitely more interesting, complex, and likeable character by doing so. I loved S1 and S2 Mike, and was so deeply invested in his character, his eventual reunion with Eleven, and his friendship with Will when I was younger.

And I never understood what happened to Mike between S2 and S3. Being a good friend was his defining trait of S1/2, so what happened that made him such a selfish and self-absorbed character? It never made any sense to me, and I just chalked it up to him being a cringy preteen.

But no one else has trouble maintaining a relationship and their own sense of identity/selfhood, even the other preteens on the show. Hell, El's whole arc is about moving away from this sense of dependence on others for her identity.

Now I don't think he was secretly in love with Will the whole time; there's just not enough evidence to say that he wasn't in love with El (atp) and I do think his feelings were genuine. What there is evidence for is that he fused his identity/self with being El's boyfriend, to the detriment of his friends, his girlfriend, and ultimately himself. He could think of nothing and no one outside of El, which is age appropriate but also deeply unhealthy.

There's also evidence to suggest that he feels playing with his friends and otherwise indulging in hobbies/anything outside of his girlfriend is a "kid" thing based on his fight with Will. In fact, he intentionally distances himself from Will, which to me indicates that he viewed Will as "childish" and too far from heternormative boyhood to fully indulge in a friendship with.

At the end of S3, we see the infamous awkward make-out session that was one of the first indications that Byler could be real to me. Because it just didn't make sense to me; I get struggling to say I love you, especially for an adolescent boy (even if they really mean it), but after El affirms her feelings shouldn't he look happy? Instead, he's just confused.

In S4, I believe that this is when Mike really begins to fall for Will (without even knowing it). He's so obviously jealous over who the painting is for, which just doesn't have a heterosexual explanation; he's paying close attention to Will when he should notice his girlfriend's struggling; he, for some reason, is still having issues with saying I love you even though there's been no explanation for why he can't; all he does is fight with El and seems more "in love" with (the idea of) her when she's absent.

I think what's happening here is he's realizing that everything he wants in his relationship with El, he gets from Will. Self-assurance: emotional intimacy: mutual understanding: and especially a need for him that validates his protective instincts. And I don't think he's even conscious of it, but he just can't hide it from his face (or his actions) at all.

I've been on the fence about canon-Byler because of David Harbour's comment about Mileven being firmly at the forefront of S5 and that moment in S4 at the pizza parlour where Mike almost confesses to loving El, which seemed incredibly sincere. And ultimately, I still don't know if they have any chance in S5.

But what I do know is that Mike and Will complement each other the most out of anyone in the show. They can complete one another, recontextualize all of Mike's incongruous behavior, and illustrate that the Duffer brothers are thinking about their story beyond basic (and outdated) tropes about teenage boyhood and douchey male behavior that emerges post-puberty.

So even if Byler never becomes canon, I will maintain that they would be one of the best things to happen to Stranger Things. I'd be content with another love interest being introduced for Will, but I honestly don't think anyone else could do this much for the writing and story as making Byler canon (at least not in a single season). Only time will tell.

[superscourge]

Resurrected AU Ch. 1: Alliance

(read on AO3 here!) Warnings (for the fic in general, not necessarily this chapter): Graphic depictions of violence, strong language, general mature themes Chapter Summary: Scourge breaks into one of Eggman's bases in search of a secret weapon to defeat Sonic with, but what he ends up finding is much stranger and much scarier than he was expecting. Though…he finds a way to get some use out of it. Notes: it really took me like a thousand years to get this started huh. lol. well i wanted to at least get the first chapter out before the sonic au collision event fully started, so im happy to present the first chapter of resurrected au's fic!! god i hope yall like it LOLLL, this au means a whole lot to me.. it's become my favorite baby i wont lie. i will also admit that im a Little nervous to finally start posting my actual writing for sonic stuff; i'm pretty self-conscious abt it actually lmao. but hopefully yall end up enjoying how i write these guys. please be niceys idk how long it'll take me to dish out the rest of the chapters, but hopefully i can find the time and energy to get them out steadily!! thanks in advance for reading and thank u so much for ur support and enthusiasm <3

--

It’s not every day that you get a juicy piece of info that could very well put the odds in your favor. That’s why Scourge was not gonna waste this opportunity.

He’d gotten word thanks to his incredible sleuthing skills [read: eavesdropping on strangers] that Eggman had a new base in the area and had apparently acquired a very powerful “secret weapon” of some sort. That was all he needed to know before deciding it was time to raid a base. After all, if he found that secret weapon? Sonic was toast.

It took a minute to actually find the damn place, but soon enough, Scourge was skidding to a stop at the treeline before what looked to be a large, dome-shaped structure with the patented Eggman symbol on it (or something that looked like it; Scourge figured it was close enough). He smirked, flipping his shades down over his eyes and speeding off towards the entrance.

As expected, badniks littered the area around the main entrance to the base. They looked a little funny, Scourge noted; they seemed a little more…high-tech than he was used to seeing. But, whatever–he figured it wouldn’t be an issue once they were busted to scraps.

… He did have a little trouble with these bots. Just a little. But it was no biggie, since he ended up finding a way inside before he could be overwhelmed. All’s well that ends well, he supposed.

The inside of this place was…confusing. So many twists and turns, rooms that led into other rooms, platforms that moved in weird directions…

“Doesn’t this place have a map?” Scourge grumbled to himself as he ran through the absolute maze of hallways.

After what seemed like forever, he finally came to what was clearly the main, central chamber of the base. There was a very complicated-looking keypad attached to it. Luckily, Scourge was very good at lockpicking.

Stepping back a bit, he hopped up and curled into a spindash before launching himself at the keypad. It took a bit of work, but before long, the whole thing was smashed to bits with sparks flying everywhere. Just as he’d hoped, the door opened once the keypad was destroyed. With a triumphant snicker, he unfurled and landed back on the floor before confidently waltzing into the chamber.

Inside looked pretty much as he expected it to–tubes and gadgets everywhere, lots of high-tech machinery that did Gaia-knows-what, lots of papers littered about several desks that clearly showed the work of an evil mastermind…

Yeah. Deffo an Egg-base.

“Now, where’s that weapon…” Scourge questioned aloud as he strolled through the room. He pulled out some drawers and rummaged around here and there, but he didn’t really find anything interesting so far. Surely this thing wasn’t hidden that well, right?

Just as he was starting to get frustrated, he came across a huge capsule of some kind right in the middle of the room. Pretty obvious, actually. He wasn’t that observant, but whatever. He raised his shades to where they were resting back in their place on his head before he rubbed his hands together with a huge, toothy grin. “That looks promising.”

Making his way to the door of the capsule, he tried to peek inside through the little window on the front of it. He couldn’t make anything out… He decided to just open it to get a look at what was inside, so he searched around for a switch of some kind that would do that for him. It didn’t take long, thankfully, and he quickly pressed the button down that would activate the door.

Smoke spewed out from the door as it opened, making Scourge cough a bit. He waved his hand to clear some of it out of his way as he impatiently waited for it to dissipate enough for him to see what he was in for.

This had to be some sort of cool gun. He knew it was. Some kinda laser shooter or something. Or maybe a bazooka. Oh–a cannon, even! He dearly hoped it was a cannon, actually. The smoke was almost fully cleared, so he leaned in excitedly to see what was inside…!

… It was…a guy. There was a guy in there.

“What the–?” Scourge furrowed his brow once he got a good look at the contents of the capsule. It was obviously a person–a jackal, it looked like? Definitely not a cannon. Who the hell was this? He looked rough, like he’d really been put through the wringer. His drip was cool, Scourge supposed, and the big, gnarly scar on the guy’s chest was pretty intimidating…

Mine’s still cooler, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, alarms sounded throughout the base. Scourge cursed under his breath as he looked over his shoulder. He turned back to the man in the capsule, making a quick decision–he’d snag him and take him with him. He probably had some idea of where the weapon was, so once he woke up, he’d just beat the information out of him if he wouldn’t give it up willingly.

Grabbing the jackal out of the capsule and slinging him over his shoulder, Scourge finally sped out back through the way he came. He was able to dodge any bots that tried to come after him thanks to his speed, and soon enough, he was outside and running through the trees of Mobius once again.

He ran until forest turned to jungle, and before long he was slowing to a stop once again in a small clearing where bits of light showed through the canopy up above. He rested the other man’s body down on a bed of moss near a small pond, figuring that’d be…somewhat comfortable, and he then took a seat on a fallen tree a few feet away.

It was only a matter of seconds before he began to tap his foot. What was he supposed to do now? Just sit there waiting for this guy to wake up? That could take hours… He didn’t have that kind of patience.

Deciding to take the initiative, Scourge stood and started walking over to the jackal, intending to just…lightly kick him until he woke up, or something. However, he didn’t get the chance.

A low, threatening growl could be heard rumbling from the stranger’s throat. Scourge stopped in his tracks once he heard it, then took a few paces back. How long had he been–?

One yellow eye opened to a squint, scanning the area before landing on Scourge. For some reason, the look the man was giving him made his skin crawl… Not that he was going to let him know that, though.

Instead, Scourge popped the collar of his jacket to regain his composure and puffed out his chest. “Took ya long enough,” he teased right off the bat. “I was startin’ to think you were dead.”

The jackal’s gaze lingered on him coldly for a few moments. However, he looked elsewhere when he began to speak. “... I should have been.”

That…wasn’t the response Scourge was expecting. The way he sank a bit betrayed his confusion. “... Wait, what?”

The man sat up, sort of startling Scourge into taking another step back. As he did so, he fully opened both of his eyes so that he could properly take in his surroundings. He was clearly ignoring the hedgehog beside him as he turned his head away, which didn’t really sit right with Scourge.

“Hey!” he barked. “I’m talkin’ to you!”

Giving no indication that he was listening, the man proceeded to rise to his feet, standing at his full height. Scourge sort of…shrank a little once he saw how actually tall this guy was. He knew jackals were generally bigger than hedgehogs, but this guy…

No, no, it was fine. No need to be afraid. He was still in charge here–this guy just didn’t know it!

With an annoyed sneer, Scourge dared to stomp a little closer. “Listen here, pal. If it weren’t for me, you woulda still been stuck in that base. I went outta my way to rescue you, got it? That means you owe me one. So, I’m gonna tell you how this is gonna go down, and you’re gonna–hrk!”

A clawed hand suddenly gripping his neck caused Scourge’s words to get caught in his throat… At least, that was part of it.

The jackal had snapped his head around to glare murderously at him as he grabbed him, which gave Scourge a very clear view of his face. He could see his one piercing yellow eye staring back at him…and he quickly noticed that the other eye had some kind of rock lodged into its socket. It was an eerie sight, and it definitely sent an intense chill up Scourge’s spine.

“You,” spat the jackal, voice deep and commanding, “do not control me.”

Unable to respond, Scourge just kind of…dangled there, hands gripping the other’s wrist as he kicked his legs a little. The expression he wore was enough of a response, though, so he was released after a moment of struggle. Once he was able to breathe and stand on his own again, he gasped for air and rubbed at his throat with an indignant look.

“What the hell?” he managed to say between coughs. “Who do you think you are, grabbin’ me like that?”

Turning away, the taller man didn’t bother to look at him as he replied. “I am Infinite,” he answered simply.

There was a pause as Scourge seemed to wait for him to say something else. When he didn’t, he furrowed his brow a little. “... Like, that’s your name, or…?”

The man–Infinite, apparently–seemed to hesitate, as if he was surprised that Scourge didn’t recognize him. One of his ears flicked.

“... I suppose enough time has passed that my name is no longer common knowledge,” he mused, half to himself. “Pity. I would have liked to think I made a bigger impact than that.”

Scourge watched as Infinite turned to fully face him again, making him subconsciously take a couple steps back. Man, this guy was kinda scary… Not that he couldn’t take him! He was just giving him the creeps, was all… Cyan eyes flicked to Infinite’s hands as he flexed his fingers.

“I will simply have to remind the world what true fear feels like,” he growled lowly, “and I suppose that starts with you.”

The rock embedded in Infinite’s eye began to glow as he summoned its power, and, to Scourge’s bewilderment, he began to lift off the ground and hover there. It was kind of scary, actually. The guy was floating. What the hell?

Then it hit him. The weapon Eggman had been hoarding wasn’t a gun or a cannon or anything like that. It was Infinite. He obviously held some sort of power that Eggman wanted to weaponize, and that must have been why he’d been locked up in that base… Things started clicking.

Despite Scourge expecting him to do… anything, really…Infinite proceeded to seize up in pain and let out an agonized yell. He suddenly collapsed to the ground, falling to his knees as he held himself up with one hand and gripped his head with the other. “W… What…?!” 

Infinite’s hand moved from his head to his chest where the large scar marked him. When he felt nothing but the scar, he had a look of both anger and confusion on his face, which told Scourge that what just happened clearly wasn’t the plan.

… Interesting.

Scourge stood a little straighter once he was confident that this guy wasn’t about to explode or something, sticking his thumbs into his jacket pockets. “Aaaalright, Criss Angel. If you’re done with all that , I think it’s time we get down to business.”

While Infinite knelt there still trying to figure out what was going on, Scourge began to pace around him in a circle, smirking as he did so. “Look. Like I said before, I rescued you from that base, so you kinda owe me one. But–and hear me out on this one–I’m willin’ to come to a compromise.”

Infinite snapped out of his pained daze long enough to shoot another glare at Scourge as he came around to his front again. “Compromise?” he hissed.

Scourge nodded. “Yeah. So, listen–I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier.” He held up a thumb and pointed it at his own chest, teeth bared in some kind of nasty grin. “Name’s Scourge. If ya haven’t hearda me by now, then you’ve been livin’ under a rock.”

Infinite somehow doubted that this brat had left enough of a mark on the world that anybody off the street would know his name. Still, he let him continue.

“I wanna take out Sonic. I assume you know him, right? Well, I think you’re just the guy who can help me out with that. He’s gotten lucky so far, but I think with you backin’ me up, I’ll be able to finally give ‘em his just desserts.”

The name Sonic caused a spark of recognition to flash over Infinite’s good eye. His breathing began to steady. “... Sonic,” he repeated. “Yes, I am familiar with Sonic .”

The way Infinite said his name let Scourge know that there was some beef there, at least. This worked in his favor. “Good,” he said with a nod. “So we’re on the same page, then.”

He turned on his heel before stopping his walk, facing Infinite to speak to him directly. “Like I said, I want you to help me take him down. Easy, right? In exchange, though… I’ll help you out with whatever you want, too. I dunno if you knew this, but I’m basically just as strong and just as fast as that blue bastard. I could give anybody a run for their money if I felt like it.”

Narrowing his eye skeptically, Infinite mulled this over. He seemed to be recovering from the shock from before, and he stood back up onto his feet. It was evident from how long he took to respond that his mind was…elsewhere.

“... I see.” His tail swished behind him as he thought about his next words. “You are offering to aid me in whatever task I ask of you?”

“Cross my heart.”

Infinite gave a huff before crossing his arms. “... Fine. If you intend to uphold your end of this bargain, then I will do the same.”

Scourge smiled widely, his sharklike teeth almost glistening in what little sunlight was managing to poke through the canopy above them. This idiot. He had no idea that he had every intention of double-crossing him the first chance he got.

He held out his hand for a shake to seal the deal. “Glad to have ya aboard, Infinite.”

Infinite glanced down at the other’s hand before reaching forward and taking it, giving it a single shake. His grip was tight. “Let us make the most out of this partnership, shall we?”

… Infinite was not stupid. He instantly knew that Scourge was going to betray him. That overconfident fool was so transparent it almost made him sick.

But…he could also tell that he had some bite to his bark, even if it was just a little. He was seasoned enough as a soldier that he could see that. That meant he could get some use out of him before he pulled his own betrayal.

He no longer had the Phantom Ruby in his chest, and he was alive, and he had no idea why. If this green idiot could help him figure that out…then he’d play along for as long as he had to.

Either way, he was going to get answers. And once that was done? He was going to rip out Sonic’s miserable little throat.

☆

[fanfiction4sooya]

Oh that’s fine I completely understand. Could you possibly just write for g!p Mina x reader then

Hi sweetie, sorry for the late reply. But here you go! Hope you like it 💖💖

tw: g!p mina, face slapping, blowjobs, choking, mentions of cheating, unprotected sex, forced creampie, reader is a shit starter, etc;

You spend your whole day fuming, incredibly dumbfounded by the fact that Sana had cheated on you. The so sweet, so loving and caring Minatozaki Sana; Yeah, you weren't heartbroken as you should be, you felt just angrier by the second.

When you told Mina the whole story she immediately offered you a shoulder to lean on and of course, you accepted. Getting angry alone wasn't good for you, since you were a natural shit starter, a disaster seeker. She was friends with both Sana and you, but she was definitely on your side on this one.

"Hi baby" She greeted you, lifting two shopping bags full of booze. "I didn't know what you'd prefer so I bought one each" You hugged her, finally feeling at ease.

You were both sitting down on your living room, half a bottle of whiskey gone, along with a few beer cans. You were sat on the floor wearing only a long shirt and panties. It was Mina, you didn't have to be modest about anything, you were friends after all.

"Enough with my misery" You told her, she was sat on your couch, sipping her drink. "What's going on with you and your girl?" You chugged your beer, making a face.

"She broke up with me" She pouted, swirling her whiskey.

"That bitch!" You slammed your hand on her thigh, making her laugh. "But why though? I thought you two were getting along" She sighed.

"It's embarrassing..." She told you, kind of pouting. She was soft and shy, you loved that about her.

"Myoui Mina" You stared at her eyes. "I literally just told you in detail how my fiance cheated on me... Please" You kneeled, putting your hands together. "Please don't take any entertainment from me" She laughed, shaking her head. After a few seconds getting brave, she spoke again.

"She said I'm too soft" her cheeks got bright pink. 'What a baby girl...'

"Well, anyone that talks to you for like 10 minutes realizes that" You frowned, tilting your head a little. "She doesn't like your personality or...?"

"No, like..." She closed her eyes, trying to speak without sounding like an idiot. "She said I'm too soft in bed"

At first you didn't understand, maybe the booze had an effect on your information processing, but soon you understood what she meant. You laughed a little too loud for her liking, getting her to recoil.

"I shouldn't have told you" She covered her eyes, trying to disappear from the face of the earth. "Asshole!!" her ears were red as you tried hard to catch your breath.

"Okay, sorry, I'm sorry" You stopped laughing, taking a deep breath. "And why is that?" You genuinely asked. "She is like into bdsm and you're not? Because if it is, is totally cool. That life style is not for everyone" She stared into your eyes, realizing you were really serious.

"No, not that" She sat more to the edge of the couch, leaning towards you to speak. "She is not the first one to tell me that..." She scratched her nape. "Apparently I'm really soft with them, even if they ask me to be rough" You nodded.

"But why can't you be a little rough?"

"I'm scared of hurting them" She stated. "Look at my hand, it's big" She showed you her hand and you realized it was, in fact, big. "If she asks me to slap her face I get self conscious and freeze" You shook your head. What a little idiot. "And if she asks me to fuck her hard it's the same thing..." She looks down. "I'm not really small down there, you know?"

You bit your lip, gulping at that thought.

"If she asks you to hit her, it's because she can take it" You tell Mina.

"What if I lose control and do it too hard?" You roll your eyes.

"that's impossible, darling" You say.

"You don't know that" She frowns.

You smile, getting close to her legs and kneeling.

"I'll teach you how to do it, you little idiot" You take her hand and touches your own face with her palm, measuring it. "Here, the tip of your fingers have to touch under the eye, be careful so you won't hit her ear" You softly laughed, her hand warm and soft resting on your cheek. "Since you have big hands it's okay if you hit only with your fingers and not the palm, specially if she has a small face" She nodded. "Hit and stroke, okay?"

"You sure know a lot about that" Her cheeks got pink and you smiled up at her, still on your knees and between her legs.

"Do it, I wanna know if you got it right" You told her and she nodded. She lightly hit and you chuckled. "Mina, come on. Harder" You said.

"You were moving" She pouted and you bit your lip, taking her opposite hand to your neck.

"Hold it like this to the sides, avoid the middle of her neck" You placed her fingers in the right position. You took a deep breath, feeling something warm between your legs. You cleared your throat, trying to focus. "Don't cut her air circulation. Hold my neck and hit again" You told her and she took a deep breath.

She hit it again, but this time it was harder, the perfect amount of pressure on your neck. Without realizing, you whimpered, closing your eyes as her fingers made contact with your cheek. She stroked your face, her eyes getting darker and you were sure yours did the same.

"Again" You breathed out, your hands went to her thighs as reflex.

There was this small pause, this little delay in time as she observed your face, your expression. Her cock was hardening, tight inside her sweatpants as she thought about it for that second. Mina lift her hand striking hard, waking up from her drunken, horny induced haze.

"Oh my-" She tried to take her hand from your neck but you held it there. Your half lided eyes told her everything she needed to know.

You thought about Sana and how she would crumble the moment she knew about it; the drama, the hurt, everything. You were really a shit starter, drama seeker. 'Fuck it'

"let me teach you" You turned your head, kissing her palm. She visibly shivered, her pupils blown out. You squeezed your thighs together, your hand still on her thigh lightly caressing it, going up very close to her bulge.

"But Sana..." She hissed when you touched her over her pants, closing her eyes.

"She is not here" You pulled her in for a wet kiss, your tongue grazing her lips, sucking the bottom one. She whimpered and oh, it sounded so fucking good.

You worked on the knot of her pants as she kissed you, her tongue roaming inside your mouth made you moan, the mix between beer and whisky felt delicious.

Freeing her cock, you felt how heavy it was, the tip red and leaking pre cum. Looking into her eyes you licked it and she hissed, her hand flying to your hair, holding it.

"Shit..." She trembled, slightly bucking her hips into your mouth. It was really big, stuffing your cheeks as you sucked it, drooling all over it and making a mess on her pants.

Mina really didn't really know what to do, but that wasn't a problem. Not for you that liked to teach, after all. You lifted your face, kissing her again, moaning into her mouth as you jerked her off, the tips of your fingers didn't touch as you did so.

"You are so thick..." You moaned as she closed her eyes. "Don't be shy, pull my hair harder baby" And she immediately did as you told her, bravely spitting into your mouth, roughly kissing your lips. "Yes, don't hold back" You told her between kisses. "use me Mina, fuck me as hard as you can"

That seemingly had the effect you wanted as she pulled you up forcefully to straddle her on the couch, harshly biting your neck. You humped her hard cock and she tightened the grip on your arms, closing her eyes.

"Are you sure?" She asked, gulping.

"Don't hold back" You mouthed every word and she rolled her eyes, ripping your panties from your body. "Fuck" You yelped when she got up, bending your body down to the couch and spreading your legs.

That animalistic side of Mina was hot, completely different from the sweet Minari you knew. She spat onto your pussy, lining her cock onto your slit. You laughed provocatively and she slapped your ass hard, surprising you.

"You are such a pussy, Minari..." You felt her get unsure behind you so you had to provoke, wiggling your butt in front of her. "No wonder she broke up with you..."You tried to lift your face from the couch, but she pushed you down with one hand, pulling your hips flush against hers, fully entering you.

You both moaned, that raw feeling felt too much. She didn't wait for any adjustment, already fucking your hole and fully stretching you to her big cock.

"There you go..." She grunted hitting hard, her balls slapping against your clit made you mewl. It was hard and good, yes, but she could do better.

"Harder, baby..." You started back shotting, your hips meeting hers. She sank her fingernails on your hips, holding hard as she fucked harder, her hips losing a little bit of rhythm.

Now it felt good, her cock fully stretching you, your pussy raw and puffy from all the force. She rolled her eyes, shivering. Suddenly you stopped, pushing her off of you, changing your positions. Getting on your back on the couch you pulled her between your legs, sinking her cock back into your pussy; her eyes glued to where you were connected.

"Damn, you look so pretty" Mina said, her mouth agape.

You grabbed her hand, putting back on your neck like before.

"Do it, baby" You told her, shaking. So wet it trickled down to her balls, coating her dick as well.

She chocked you, slapping your face. Damn she was good at that.

"Tight..." She rolled her eyes, fucking you so hard you lost your breath. When she opened them, they were dark and cloudy, focused on not coming inside.

"Mina" You called, screaming. "I'm coming, fuck baby, keep doing that" You cooed, shaking. "f-finish inside baby, please"

She finally lost the mean demeanor, going back to the shy baby girl she was, her cheeks pink and her eyes doe and teary, still fucking you hard.

"Oh gosh" Was all she managed to say, still slapping her hips against your spread legs, cumming inside then all over your pussy when she tried to pull out. You held her in, trapping your legs behind her back as she groaned with her eyes closed, falling onto your body, blindly kissing your neck.

You couldn't believe you did that, nor that anyone would ever call Mina soft again after this class.

Of course she still had lessons to take but hey, you'd gladly teach her anything she wanted to know. You were her friend, after all.

[sam-keeper]

so this is months after the fact, but i'm wondering if you read dean kissick's now infamous harper's piece about "representation" making art banal, because while it seems to me he has some kind of a genuine frustration, both he and the people responding to him are sort of talking around the actual issue in question, or misplacing blame (classically by pointing the finger at "minority" artists)? my first instinctive response to the assertion that no interesting art exists because of the nebulous project of representation, was that, well, skill issue - interesting "minority" artists exist, very much so, perhaps the more interesting question is WHY they don't make it into shows and what would have to change structurally beyond the lip service of institutions to elevating non-white, queer artists.

...but at that point i realised i know literally nothing about the visual art world lmao and while i can confidently point to why this happens in publishing, i was wondering if you had any thoughts abt the actual piece and some of its very blithe (and what seems to me!) and sweeping assertions?

oh my god I had not seen this piece and it BODIED me. WHAT AN OPENING PARAGRAPH! I read the opening line out to Sarah and she looked like I had thrown a flash grenade in her face. she was blinking the spots out of her eyes. the whole thing is so incredible it's sort of hard for me to get my thoughts together--though, I think it's very Psychological that he keeps complaining that the art world has lost the vitality it had when he was... in his 20s? and my man surely you're not writing a whole article grousing about identity then in one of the last paragraphs dropping a line like, "In the Nineties, when I was a student at a Christian boys’ school in Oxford,"

but that opening though. oh my goodness lmao.

ok confession though on the main subject: I generally feel pretty disconnected from the contemporary high art world myself honestly? I've always had trouble getting an overview of Scenes cause I tend to burrow pretty deep into the stuff I'm most interested in, I've always been a bit too autistic and working class (complicated term for me but w/e) to really... fit in with my peers even when I was in grad school for contemporary art history... you're probably more knowledgeable about contemporary publishing than I am about contemporary art tbh. it's something I actually feel self conscious about as a self professed materialist haha

the annoying thing is I do sort of get what he means, for like, 6 paragraphs or so in the middle of the piece. there's definitely a strain of contemporary identity-focused art that leaves me kind of cold or just nonplussed in part for the reason he lays out: that there's all these things that are supposedly signifiers of this or that or "call to mind" or "invoke" some historical marker... but all of that is present in the descriptive text rather than the piece itself? like, you would need an incredibly specific and *narrowly focused* repertoire to see a chain made of salt and immediately jump to "ah yes it's like the ancient greek slave trade, in particular".

I don't think this is necessarily a problem of bad art though so much as bad ad copy?

like, I do encounter a lot of artist statements that leave me going, like, ok but *does it decolonize the body through the inversion of subject and object* though? or whatever. like what would that actually feel like, to have happen to you, intellectually and affectively? there's a lot of bold claims about what radical things the work is doing and it often feels like upselling, to me. but that doesn't necessarily mean I dislike the art! actually at multiple shows in my area I've seen stuff that I really enjoyed and then looked at the artist statement and learned that in fact what seemed like a shocking, surreal expression of an inexpressible inner experience was actually banal old "social anxiety". like the art has to fit into a consecrated schema of psychotherapy or sociology or ethnography to be marketed or justified. I don't think that's a problem of identity, or politics, I think it's one of commodification, but I empathize, I think, with the author's *frustration* about it.

also, tangentially, I have this whole thing I wrote recently that might make it into an article or might not, about Felix Gonzalez-Torres's "Untitled (Portrait of Ross in LA)", his famous interactive/conceptual piece where a pile of candy weighing the same as his lover's ideal body weight is continuously depleted by gallery attendees and refreshed by gallery administrators. the Smithsonian recently showed that with just, a comically blithe description that cuts out the entire context that this is artwork about gay men during the AIDS crisis. and that's actually a good example imo of a place where it's really important to have contextualizing information because the contextualizing information is part of the piece and shapes how everyone involves participates in the work. like, you might come to the conclusion that it "invokes" communion, and that's great, though I think saying that in the museum guide maybe is a bit over-determining? but you can only get to that invocation if you already have a context about the performance that you've been invited to engage in, if that makes sense. the accompanying explanation is a script that the participants are using to guide their interpretation--interpretation the way an actor interprets a line, I mean. and I think Kissik would just throw this out along with everything else, which is unfortunate.

but! like! I don't really know because he also seems to enthusiastically cite things pretty similar to this as pluralistic art that is of the present instead of the past. why is Wael Shawky's Cabaret Crusades good and Puppies Puppies's bronze nude self portrait bad? I have no idea. (well, she's transsexual so.......) or, like, is he suggesting that the Symphony of Sirens, an avant garde whole city performance honoring the October Revolution, is good because it's not... about anything? sometimes it seems like he just has a problem with people painting in traditional ways but then in others he's like hey look at this cool traditional painting! I find this so genuinely perplexing lmao. I genuinely do not know what I'm supposed to come away from this piece doing, as an artist.

oh, well, except that the bit about Louis Fratino sort of hits, too. his critique of Fratino is that he may be making gay cubism but the fact that it's cubism still makes it aesthetically conservative. I actually think about this a lot, the tendency for marginalized artists right now to paint themselves into history, as it were. it's directly relevant to my own practice, since I'm drawn to art primarily from the turn of the century, or I guess broadly from something like 1860-1960 maybe? I was classically trained, I do a lot of figure drawing, and I love drawing nudes of my queer friends. is that aesthetically conservative, or is depicting trans people happy and horny and beautiful surrendering to bourgeois aesthetic values? if I draw a fat snake furry in a pose based on Ingres's Odelisque is that a clever detuning of the canon, or is that a concession to the canon's authority and an admission that I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said by a cishet male european?

it's definitely an anxiety for me. (I'd say it's table stakes for him but I guess the opening paragraph's point is that it's all fun and games until somebody loses a leg.) no idea what to do with all this but I do think about it, and I do feel frustrated with how... inward focused so much art now can be? that's not something that appeared in the last 8 years though lol that's the whole postmodern turn! like, architecture for example--yes there's all sorts of ironic quotations of classical greek elements and forms but it represents a historical return that contrasts the break represented by say brutalism. lichtenstein does dot painting renditions of cubist art. practically everyone in the Lowbrow Movement that comes out of comix are addicted to quotation and citation from both fine art and pop culture, and those guys are almost all cishet white guys!

so, whatever. the piece touches on some stuff I've thought about too, basically, but in such a garbled way that I'm not even sure what to really do with it. also I found out from this piece that he's associated with the Dimes Square people. once again I feel vindicated in being prejudiced against New York City and its people, though I can't say more about what kind of performance piece I'd like to see introduced to Dimes Square without getting put on some sort of List. oh, also Helen Lewis thought this article was brilliantly written. lol. and also, lmao.

I feel like there's probably more that could or should be said but I can't really think of what else to say so I'll stop rambling now.

[unforth]

Hello! Forgive me for the strange and invasive question I’m about to ask, but I noticed in your bio that you’re a mother and you seem to be a danmei fan as well, and my question pertains to that.

I’m in my mid 20s and enjoy danmei. I read 2ha before the published paperbacks came out and was pretty excited to be able to eventually own physical copies of the story i love so much. But I somehow end up feeling very self conscious about buying them, since they contain multiple explicit scenes and I’m worried if someone were to browse my bookshelf someday and come across these, they’d judge me harshly. I’m not sure if marriage is in the cards for me, but if/when I do end up getting married and having children, how exactly would I explain having these books to my husband and kid(s)? In my country, joint families are fairly common so I also might end up having to live with my husband’s parents and I’d be toast if they were to come across these 😬. I know it seems silly to be worried about a hypothetical future husband and children but I’m afraid I can’t help it. Since you have kids, how do you manage keeping your danmei novels? Do you hide them, or just tell them they’re books for adults?

Anon you sound like you've got some pretty incredible hang-ups about sex. Are you this worried about if my kids find the scene in MDZS where Wen Chao has to eat is own legs? Or if I allow your hypothetical, are you worried what your spouse and kids would think of that kind of content?

The 2ha books are books. I keep them with the books. I have a dedicated shelf for danmei in my bedroom, and they're there. My kids have seen me reading them and can access them anytime and have never given a single fuck or shown any interest whatsoever in what I'm reading, EXCEPT when I'm reading shounen manga and then they're excited. Oh or that time I read some Pokémon manga. And sometimes they're interested in the YA queer graphic novels I get from tbe library. Okay yeah if I'm reading comics they sometimes care. But a prose book? Zero fucks given. I tell them nothing, because they don't ask, but if they did ask, I'd tell them a simplified version of the truth, and I know my kids: zero fucks would continue to be given.

This whole "omg ~sex~" thing doesn't exist unless you as the adult make it exist. I don't act like there's some great mystery they're missing out on but will be ~initiated into the secrets of~ when they're older. That is the surest way to make them desperate to know things they're not ready for. They've had some age-appropriate sex-ed in the Our Whole Lives program offered at our church, and the one time I made the mistake of thinking my son knew more than he did (he knew sperm + egg = baby, so I assumed he knew penis inside vagina was the process. I assumed wrong.) his reaction was a hilarious, "they do WHAT?" and he has never brought it up again. The other day we read a book that included a joke about a teenage man being given a shirt that says "I make chicks hot" (he was going to work at a fast good joint, the joke was its about literal chicken) and my son looked me dead in the eye and said "that joke is NOT age appropriate." He's almost 9, so I told him puberty is coming whether he wants it to or not, and I'd rather he know these feelings exist before the first time they happen than be blindsided when they do (I didn't say, "if they do," I figure the nuances of my utterly asexual non-awakening aren't a detail he needs quite yet.)

All of which is to say, I find this ask utterly baffling and it honestly feels like a trap, but I'm trying to take it in good faith, and in good faith, anon, I'm telling you this:

If the hypothetical husband in your scenario would disapprove of what you're reading, then why the fuck is hypothetical you marrying him?

If the hypothetical kids in this scenario might find age-inappropriate materials, why aren't you worried about the violence? Or the horror parts? And why is hypothetical you telling the hypothetical kids anything at all about the books? Did they ask??? Or are you thinking hypothetical future you is so terrified of being caught with sexy books that you're the one bringing up adult stuff, unsolicited, to these kids? Cause THAT'S the weird thing to do. Going "and just so you know, kids, these books are for ADULTS" when they haven't paid any attention at all is going to create a problem where none exists. I'm not gonna pretend the kid doesn't exist who isn't more interested in what their parents read than mine are about my reading, and of course some kids will end up in traumatic situations that result in them knowing more than they normally would about these topics, and that's tragic that some kids have that happen. But in my experience of the kids I used to run into when I worked in schools, my own kids, their friends, etc., these kids have absolutely zero, zilch interest. When my kids ask what kinds of books I'm reading, I say books about men in ancient China. That leads to immediate negative interest cause it sounds dry and boring to them. Problem (no actual problem existed) solved.

You want to know what IS hard to talk about?

Warning them about predators.

When it's never once crossed their minds that anyone would have any interest in their private parts - because they're just a normal part of their body - having to explain that if a grown-up touches them in certain places, or asks to look at them naked, or tries to get them alone, etc., then they have to say no and find an adult they trust. When they were younger, explaining THAT was hard.

I'm not afraid of what my kids might find in a book. They're not interested, and even if they were, these books are above their literacy level right now (my son has nearly finished his first chapter book! It's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm very proud of him). And if they could somehow read a book this hard, and understand it, and accidentally read an age inappropriate part, and and and... well, then, we'd talk about it. I trust them to come to me if they run into media they're uncomfortable with, and I also check in periodically to open the door. And they have sometimes brought up concerns, and we talk about it, and that's that. The hardest right now to explain? What the alt-right pipeline might look like in a Minecraft YouTuber video. Fuck but that is HARD to communicate to kids who have only the vaguely idea of the current political situation.

Honestly I'm more worried they'll read the part where the demon mom eats her own child alive. That is the most triggering scene I've ever encountered in fiction. I've never read the whole chapter.

But you didn't even think of that. Because you're too busy thinking about how to tell your non-existent kids that these books have SEX and it's not for KIDS and they shouldn't read it.

Anon, I'm not afraid of what my kids might get exposed to in books.

I'm afraid of what real people might do to hurt my kids, and how I prepare them for actual trauma.

A book can't hurt them. Well, maybe if someone throws it at them. But if they read something that freaks them out they know to just. Stop reading. And they can ask us about it and we can help unpack it.

But preparing them for the harm actual humans can do to them? Explaining why we're at a BLM protest? Explaining why they have to be wary of any stranger OR NON-STRANGER (because most abuse is by someone the child knows!) who wants access to their body isn't okay? Having to wrap my head around "I don't think any of our relatives are sex abusers but IF they secretly are what language do I use to convey to my child that their aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, shouldn't have access to their body in certain ways but still can touch you to wipe poop off"? Trying to say "I know you like this person's minecraft persona but if they start saying mean things about a group of people different from them you have to stop watching and tell a grown-up"? Knowing there's no warning on the planet that can prepare them for all the actual harm that can come to them from real people? That's the hardest part of parenting. I can't protect them without smothering them. I have to let them face some risks or else they'll never develop. I hate this. It's so fucking hard.

Anyway.

That's the hard stuff anon.

You are entirely and utterly worried about the wrong problem.

If this was a good faith ask... you should sit and unpack why you are uniquely worried about the sex parts of 2ha and not the violence parts. You should ask yourself why you think you'd love and marry and raise a family with someone who'd disapprove of your taste in books. You should ask yourself why this is your hang-up, and why you think you'd have to say anything at all about the books to a person browsing your shelf, a spouse, an in-law, a kid.

If this wasn't a good faith ask...idk what you're fishing for, anon, but the fact that you think I'd say anything at all about the contents of a book they are absolutely not ready for is fucking weird. I will say something when they ask and not a moment before, and when they do ask I'll tell them honestly it's a book with a lot of violence and sex and adult stuff and if somehow that didn't drive them away (it would right now, instantly) then that'd suggest maybe they're ready to know more, and I'd steer them to more age-appropriate ways to learn a bit more about sex. There, the problem you made up is solved.

Good luck, anon. Whether this was good faith or not, you have a lot of mental baggage to sort through.

*

I just reread the ask in preparation for posting, and as a few final notes: 1. My wife (no husbands here) knows what I read, 2. My father lives with us, and he knows what I read, 3. My mother in law also knows what I read, and it makes her uncomfortable I think but she recognizes that's a "her" problem and leaves me alone, and 4. My mother is chomping at the bit to get her hands on my 2ha, she's been very disappointed that most of the danmei she's borrowed post MDZS and SVSSS hasn't been more "like that." So don't assume your in-laws will flip out. Most people know books are just books. But I also don't know your culture/country/situation. I was raised by incredibly progressive people in one of the most socially progressive cities in the world (New York City, we have race problems but in other areas we're not bad), and like. My entire cultural surroundings are chill about stuff. I'm also not Christian. Obviously in another culture with stricter mores I can see why this could be more of an issue but you asked how I handle it and I can only give an honest answer from the actual reality I live in, which is that it never has crossed my mind anyone would care and sure enough, no one has cared. 🤷 I'm sorry if that's led me to be dismissive of legitimate concerns, it's very hard to know what anons on tumblr are well intentioned and which are from people who are just waiting to go HA THAT EVIL PERSON PUTS THE NAUGHTY DIRTY BAD PORN WHERE THE KIDS CAN GET IT. Considering that people have been sending me asks recently that my son should die, or that he will grow up to be a rapist because that's what men do, because my post that maybe people shouldn't hate men has brought enough attention that the fucking weirdos think lashing out at an 8 year old is an entirely normal and reasonable response to "stop virulently hating men just because they are men," I hope you can understand why my tone is what it is and why I have to consider that this ask is not being sent in good faith. Those anons I block and delete unanswered, so me writing this response is already giving you some benefit of the doubt.

Regardless. Work on you first, anon. You deserve people who will love you even knowing that sometimes you read kinky shit, and do not under any circumstances tell your kids, should you have them, a word more than they need to know. If they're very precocious early readers MAYBE move the books, but otherwise odds are they won't be able to even read the back blurbs, much less the inside, until they're old enough to know a little about how life works, and you can frame what you tell them to what they know then.

Alright, I'll shut up now.

[crazyunsexycool]

A love as sweet as honey

Chapter 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 4.1K

Warnings: Some fluff I guess, angst, Steve being 🙁, reader's family.

A/N: So here we go with chapter 1 for this series. So this is set three months after the semi ending of My little love so I'm keeping some aspects of that series that are mentioned in this chapter vague. We are going straight into Honey's family and they are the worst. I kind of wanted to show the difference in Steve and Honey's worlds. I really hope you like it. Also kind of nervous for this chapter...

If you're reading this or come across my series for the first time, I do recommend reading My Little Love first because characters from that series will play a big roll in this one.

Series Masterlist

You glared at the messages popping up on your phone. It was bad enough that both Bruce and Tony forced you out of your lab in order for you to get some rest, now you had to evade your family. They had persistently called and messaged you about the weekly family dinners. The thing was you hated those gatherings. It was just your father, your two brothers and their wives. Even though you were family you had nothing in common with them, so having to endure their company for an evening was dreadful. It wasn’t like they liked you anyway so you didn’t understand why your presence was required. You much preferred to be in your lab working on one project or another. Watching paint dry was preferable to Sunday night dinner with those snakes. 

“I hope you don’t glare at my messages like that.” Steve’s voice broke you out of your thoughts but you still scowled in his direction. He just chuckled in response.

Steve looked so handsome as he made his way towards you. His golden blond hair was slightly disheveled and his workout clothes fit him perfectly. You’d never let on that you were attracted to him. It still baffles you that he willingly hangs out with you even when you don’t make it easy to be your friend. Although it’s mostly during work hours, which is almost always, or the few parties you’d been dragged to. His presence is soothing and it bothers you that he can ease you out of your bad moods without much resistance.

“Depends on what you messaged me about.” You watched as he took a seat on the bench next to you. “Did the science bros send you?” 

“Science bros?”

“Yeah, Stark and Banner. They kicked me out of my lab. Said I needed to rest.” 

“Can you blame them? Especially after that whole issue with Lottie forcing half the medbay staff to come to your aid because she saw you unconscious in a vision?”

“I just fell asleep.” You grumbled as you turned to watch other employees go about their day. Thinking back on it, the situation was now slightly funny. Although poor Charlotte was incredibly worried about you. 

“Yeah well, everyone needs to rest.” 

You give Steve a sideways glance and frown. “Remember this conversation when you go on back to back missions.” 

Steve gives you a lopsided grin. It made you swoon which forced you to be very self conscious of your staring.

“What are you still doing here anyway?” 

“I’m resting.” 

Steve bent forward and turned his head to get a better look at you when you turned away from him. His eyes squinted in suspicion but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. It was overwhelming to have all of his attention sometimes. To have anyone’s attention on you at all made you uncomfortable but to have Steve was something else. He always managed to make you feel something other than annoyed. You were baffled by how easily he did that. 

“Stop staring you weirdo.” You mumbled. Steve chuckles but doesn’t take his eyes off you. 

“You don’t really believe you’ll get away with trying to go back up to your lab when you didn’t go home to rest, do you?” 

You sigh and your shoulders slump. Steve’s eyes drift down to your pouting lips and for a second he thinks he could kiss that pout away. That’s how it had been since he met you. The attraction was almost immediate and you seemed to always have a pout on those pretty lips of yours.

“I’m just so tired. I don’t want to drive.” 

“I could take you if you’d like.” 

“No,” you shake your head. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.” 

“I’m offering. But if you don’t like that then you should really reconsider taking one of the empty apartments.” 

He’s right. Some of the apartments have been empty for a while and one had even been offered to you. You just weren’t sure how you felt about living in the compound. 

“Just imagine, you maybe can’t sleep and you get an idea. You don't have to wait until the next day to come in. All you have to do is walk across the building and you’re at work.” Steve offers. 

“Enticing but also I like to separate my personal life from my work life.” 

Steve shrugs and gets up. “Still, think about it. I have to go but text me when you get home so that I know you’re safe.” 

“You care too much.” 

“Can’t blame a guy for caring for his friends.” He says before starting to walk away.

“Wait, we’re friends? I didn’t agree to that.” You joke. 

Steve turns around and walks backwards and raises an eyebrow in your direction. You give a small smile in return. 

“Go home.” 

You roll your eyes in response before he waves and walks away to do whatever it is he did. With a sigh you get up and head to your car. There was no way you’d even be able to get into your office so you actually went home. 

Steve had an open invitation into the Barnes home. He was there all the time. His best friends’ home had warmth and laughter and love. It was all of the things he craved. 

When he was first woken up from the ice and realized that he was no longer in the 1940s, Steve decided that the man that wanted a family and love died the day the plane went down. Instead he found solace in fighting alongside the Avengers and his friendships. He was closest to Mrs. Barnes or how he affectionately called her, Magnet. They’d been working side by side since he’d moved to D.C. their friendship bloomed and now they were more like siblings.

 The only thing Steve envied was his best friends’ relationship. From his point of view they had everything, all more than well deserved of course. He was more than happy that after being tortured and used by Hydra, Bucky was able to find happiness even when he found out he had children. Steve wanted that. He wanted his kids to grow up with the Barnes kids and that they be best friends the way he and Bucky were growing up. He never voiced it of course but Mrs. B could read him like a book. So when he walked into the always busy house he knew he’d be asked something.

“What’s wrong?” Mrs. B asked the minute she looked up at him. She was rocking the youngest Barnes in her arms. The newest addition to the family and only three months old.

“Nothings wrong.” 

“Steve-“ 

“Steebie.” Charlotte ran out from the playroom down the hall and straight into Steve’s arms. 

“Here’s my best girl.” Steve soaked up all of the love Bucky’s daughter gave him. “How are you sweetheart?” 

“I’m good. Do you wanna play tea pawty?” 

“I would love to. I’ll be there in a minute, ok?” Steve sets Charlotte on the floor and she runs back as she yells that she’ll get the party ready. 

“Steve? Are you sure you’re ok?” 

“I’m fine Magnet.” 

She gives him a sympathetic look. Steve knew that she knew what he was feeling. They’d have long conversations about the thoughts of having families and falling in love. Those conversations seemed so long ago. They were both different people now. Still at its core their friendship remains the same, just like with Bucky. 

“Saw you talking to Y/N earlier.” Bucky says as he walks in from the door that leads to the garage. “You have to ask her out.” 

“Why would I ask her out?”

Steve’s best friends look at each other as if they knew some big secret. Well they did although it wasn’t a secret but something Steve was refusing to acknowledge. 

“Because you like her.” Mrs. B says.

“It’s so obvious that you do.” 

“She’s a friend.” Steve defends himself. 

“I used to look at Sugar that way. Still do.” 

“Aaww baby. That’s so cute.” 

Bucky sends a wink in his wife’s direction. It was so cute it made Steve sick sometimes. Again he was happy for them but he wanted that too. Steve was ashamed of the envy he felt sometimes.

“That would be like me asking you out, Magnet.” 

“Eeww.” She scrunched her face and Steve was taken aback by the instant reaction. Then she laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just I see you as family so the thought of dating you is weird.” 

“Exactly my point. Asking her out would be like that for me.” 

Bucky looked at Steve with disbelief. “I know you’re stubborn but this is a whole different level.” 

“Give him a break baby. It’s not like you asked me out when you realized you liked me.” 

Bucky had sat down by his wife and took their youngest child in his arms. He smiled and cooed at his baby before looking up at Steve. 

“Just think about it and once you admit that you like her, ask her out.” Bucky said and Mrs. B nodded in agreement. 

“Steebie, tea pawty is weady.” 

“If you’ll excuse me, I have a very important tea party to attend.” 

“Are you staying for dinner?” His best friend asked over her shoulder. 

“If it’s not too much trouble.” 

“Never.” 

**** 

Lottie poured nonexistent tea into Steve’s plastic teacup. She had immediately draped him with fake jewelry, clip on earrings and placed a plastic crown on his head. Steve then sat on the floor at the table the kids had in their playroom. Henry had been playing with legos in the corner and started giggling at the sight before him. He stopped laughing when a plastic tiara was placed on his head and he had to sit at the table too. Across from Henry sat a Lottie’s beloved pink teddy bear.

“So then the ogre tries to stomp on all of the King’s knights.” Steve was telling the kids about the last mission he’d been on. He made it seem like a fairytale though and the kids were hooked. 

“Oh no.” Lottie whispered. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart. The king’s knights were ready and they had a dragon.”

“What? No way.” Henry exclaimed, hanging on every word. 

“Yes way. The dragon came down from the sky and with his magic powers and BOOM! The ogre didn’t stand a chance.” 

Lottie has a hand on her chest while pretending to sip tea. Henry resting his head on his hand while waiting for Steve to continue. 

“All of the other knights joined the dragon in fighting the ogre’s henchmen. When they finally finished they got the treasure and that treasure helped a lot of village people.” Steve finishes. 

“I wanna be a dragon when I grow up so that I can help people.” 

“Yeah me too.” Lottie agrees with her brother. 

“Dinner’s ready.” 

“Alright, you heard your mom let’s go wash up.” Steve says as he gets up and starts taking all of the accessories off.

“Steebie will you sit with me?” 

“Of course I will, sweetheart.” Steve grabs Lottie and throws her over his shoulder before he reaches for Henry and does the same. They’re both laughing and kicking. “But first we wash our hands.” 

Steve can’t help but smile. The ache that sits heavy in his chest from wanting this life dulls while he sits amongst his friends. Their conversation distracts him from the loneliness he’ll find once he goes back to his apartment.

You’d gone straight to bed once you’d made it home. There was nothing else for you to really do so taking a nap seemed the best option. You’d taken off everything but your panties and plopped down right in the middle of the bed. Tony and Bruce had been right. You did need to sleep, you’d never admit it to them though. Just as you were drifting off to dreamland, obnoxious knocking pulled you away. You grabbed the robe that had been hanging over unpacked boxes and put it on, tying it while walking to your door. 

You’d never bothered unpacking because you move so much. So you zigzagged through all of the boxes holding your personal things in order to get to the front door. Before opening the door you looked through the peephole and froze at the sight of who was at the other side. But that feeling of dread turned into anger as you yanked the door open, startling the three women on the other side. 

“What?” You snapped, your tone harsh and unwelcoming. 

The last thing you were expecting was to see your stepmother and sisters-in-law at your apartment. Especially since you never gave them your address. Your stepmother being front and center schooled her expression first. 

“Now is that anyway to answer the door? I’ve taught you better than that.” She admonishes. 

Rose came into your life when you were a baby. She’s the only maternal figure you’d ever known. You hated her. She was your father’s lapdog and a snitch. The moment you were able to leave his house you did. You tried to be around them as little as possible. Somehow they always managed to drag you back in.

You sisters-in-law were no better. Elizabeth was married to your older brother Richard. Alice was married to your younger brother Charles. They were the picture perfect family. The men ran the family and the women well, they did as they were told. They were the perfect stepford wives and then there was you. 

In their eyes you were the rebellious middle child. The one who they said couldn’t just sit down and do as you were told. You just had to question everything and fight back. It didn’t matter that at 18 you left your father’s home and never lived there again. He wanted to control you because he had an image to maintain. And if he had someone track you down that meant he needed something.

“Well aren’t you going to invite us in?” Rose asked as she tried to look over your shoulder. The only thing she could see was the hallway.

“No. Because I didn’t invite you. As a matter of fact I never even gave any of you my address so I don’t know why you’re here.” 

“We’ve called and texted you multiple times and you haven’t answered..” Alice said. “We were worried.”

“No you weren’t. Besides I have nothing to say to any of you. If I wanted to have any sort of relationship with you I’d answer. There’s nothing for you to worry about.” 

“Y/N please, we are only doing what’s best for our family and that’s keeping everyone together.” Elizabeth adds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“So what does Conrad want now?” 

“Your father,” Rose says. “Would very much love it if you joined us for dinner tonight.” 

“I don’t give two shits about what he would love. Who is he trying to impress?” 

Rose huffs, annoyance creeping into her normally well composed face. You loved riling her up. 

“It’s not about who he’s trying to impress, we haven’t seen you in a while. We’d like to catch up.” 

“And we would be catching up in whose presence?” You push for information. 

“A possible investor in his business.” 

“Mmm.” You nod slowly. 

“So you’ll come?” 

“Nope.” 

“I wasn’t giving you a choice. We’ll stand out here until you’re ready.” 

“I’ll call the cops on you if you don’t leave.” 

You saw the flash of red hot anger flash in Rose’s dark brown eyes. She placed her hand on the door and leaned in to be as close to your face as possible. 

“Remember what happened the last time you tried that.” The threat was there and it all but crumbled the bit of resistance you had against them. 

You blinked back tears as memories rushed to the forefront of your mind. Suddenly you weren’t the person you’d worked so hard to become, you were the little girl that had been neglected her whole life. And that little girl did as she was told if she knew what was good for her. 

“I’ll give you thirty minutes. We’ll wait out here.” Rose had straightened her posture and fell back into the loving wife and mother character she’d perfectly crafted.

You sat quietly in the dining room of the family home. Conrad Bramford, your father, sat at the head of the table. Rose was to his right, your older brother and his wife to his left. That left Charles your younger brother sitting next to his mother and his wife next to you. At the other end of the table, and closest to you, was the investor your father was trying to impress Ezekiel Stane.

“I’m so glad you decided to come.” Alice leaned in and whispered. 

“I didn’t decide, I was forced too. Why do you even give a shit?” 

Alice patted your forearm and smiled as if you were the best of friends and were up to no good. 

“You’re so bad.” She giggled. 

It dawned on you that she really thought you were friends or worse that you were like those families where the in-laws saw each other as actual siblings. 

“Oh you sweet summer’s child.” You murmured. 

“Come on, these dinners aren’t so bad. I mean we’re your family. It’s nice that we get to spend time together.”

“Alice, I’m going to be very clear because you seem like a nice person. I hate every single person sitting at this table.” 

Her smile drops just a little. “But you don’t know me or Elizabeth.” She mumbles. “You should give us a chance.” 

“You’re married to my brother, that’s all I need to know. Besides you've only been married what, a few months?” 

She nods.

“Maybe we can get together on your wedding anniversary and you can tell me how much you still love this family.” You give her a tight lipped smile. 

“Well on our anniversary we’ll be celebrating but I’ll still accept that invitation to talk.” Alice smiles again. 

“So Ms. Bramford. I heard that you work in the science field. How is that working out for you?” Ezekiel asked, pulling your attention away from Alice.

He was handsome with blue eyes and chestnut colored hair. He was tall, fit but not too muscular. 

“It’s great. I really love what I do.” 

“Which is?” 

“Research.” 

Ezekiel put on his most charming smile but it felt off putting. Although him willingly spending time with your father should have been the first sign that he wasn’t a great person. 

“What kind of research?” He asks.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss.” 

“Because she isn’t important enough to know.” Charles said, getting a laugh out of everyone at the table, except for you, Mr. Stane and surprisingly, Alice. She just gave you an apologetic look.

“Forgive us Mr. Stane, it’s just an inside joke.” Richard, your older brother, says with a chuckle. 

“Last time I checked a joke is supposed to be funny. Also might I remind you that I work outside of our father’s company so that I can have my independence. Tell me Dick, what is it that you do?” You stare at him expectantly. “Oh that’s right, you’re too busy kissing his ass to actually have a job.” 

There were gasps all around the table as you stood suddenly. The chair you had been sitting in, scraping along the floor before falling over. 

“Sit back down and apologize, you ungrateful brat.” Your father slammed a fist down on the table causing the plates, glasses and cutlery to clatter together.

“I won’t apologize, I don't want to be here in the first place. I‘ll be leaving now. Let’s do this again, never.” You say and start heading toward the living room where your purse was.

You fiddled with your pearl necklace as you raced through the hallway. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. 

“Well I don’t remember seeing anyone as pretty as you in a long time.” The deep voice froze you in place just as you reached the living room. 

You turn around to find Rose’s brother at the drink cart. His eyes rake your body and you shudder. You turn and grab your belongings and quickly turn towards the door.

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving so soon? I was hoping we could catch up. You can tell me where you’ve been hiding.”

“Eat dirt and die, asshole.” You say before exiting into the hallway. 

You’d made it to the door just as your father stepped into the hallway. He called your name and a few other choice words but you were already running down the steps towards your car. You managed to lock yourself in and speed away to be as far from this place as possible before he could get to you.

Your phone had been buzzing nonstop from everyone in your family trying to call or text you. It got to the point that you had to shut it off because it was too much. When you finally make it home you take a shower to hopefully rid yourself of the crawling sensation you get from being back at the family home. 

After a lot of pacing and debating you send an email to Tony and wait. It takes about a minute but you get an answer. Even though it was around three in the morning. Now you can breathe slightly easier but your whole body is thrumming with adrenaline and now it is slowly starting to calm down but your hands are shaking. You would spend the rest of the night going over everything that happened that day until you finally passed out.

Steve had checked his phone a ridiculous amount of times. He even got teased for it by his best friends. But he was genuinely worried because he never received a text from you. He was restless wondering if he should reach out to you or not. Reluctantly he opted for the latter as he opened the door to his apartment where he was met with movers. They were taking things into the apartment across from his which belonged to Bucky when he first moved into the compound. He’d forgotten that someone was moving in and that he’d finally have a neighbor again. 

“Hey Rogers.” You said quietly as you made your way from down the hallway where the elevators were. 

“Hey Y/L/N. What are you doing here so early? And in the residential area. I thought you hated this part of the compound.” 

Steve was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his broad chest. 

“I used to but considering this is my new place, I thought I’d have to get used to it.” 

Steve’s face lit up at the new piece of information. He even stands up straight and watches as the movers take in a few more mixes in. 

“So you’re the one Tony told me was moving in a few weeks ago.” 

You shake your head. “No, I asked him last night if the offer was still good and he said yes. Although I feel bad that the person taking this spot is being moved. I think he said it was Sharon? She was supposed to move here but she’s still out of the country for a few weeks and this apartment is ready so he let me have it.” You look up at him and then at the apartment you’d be living in. 

“Wait so this was a last minute decision but you had your things packed already?” 

“Well I was going to be moving closer to the compound anyway. I just decided that I would prefer my apartment to have security guards at the entrance.” 

Steve’s eyes narrowed at that. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?” 

You saw the muscle in his jaw tick. 

“It’s a long story and I’d rather not talk about it.” You moved toward the door of your new apartment.

“Wait, if someone did something to you I’ll help you. They shouldn’t get away with whatever they did.” 

You look at him thoughtfully for a moment. “I wish I would have met you a long time ago, Rogers. Maybe you could have saved me then.” You gave him a sad smile. “I’m gonna get settled but maybe we should have a movie night or something soon. We can even do it at my place since you know where I live now.” 

Steve smiles but you could still see the worry in his eyes. 

“I’ll let you go, Steve.” 

“I’m here for whatever you need, ok?” 

“Thanks, I’ll see you later?” 

“Absolutely, neighbor.” Steve grins. 

“Ugh, don’t make me regret it.” 

“It’ll be the best choice you ever made.” He says confidently. 

Truer words have never been spoken. You just didn’t know it yet.

Ch. 2

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[everpresence]

I’m scared I’ve been in this community for years and haven’t manifested a thing, what if I’ll never understand how to manifest or how to apply the law or if the law is real.

i normally don't answer questions where people vent to me about their circumstances, but i can't bring myself to delete this because i was in your shoes before.

i was putting so much effort into applying the law, i was reading so many books on the law, so many reddit posts, youtube videos. it was rough. i felt completely alone because i didn't know a lot of people that i could talk to about the law, and reading other people's success stories only made me feel worse. i know where you are coming from, anon.

the law is always working. i know it does not sound true right now, but i'm so serious. if i wasn't, then i wouldn't be running this blog in the first place. the law is always working, but people tend to forget this one key: you only get who you are, not what you want.

when you focus on lack, when you focus on trying too hard, when you focus on your doubts and your fears and your "what-ifs" and "buts," which method works, which method doesn't, validation that the law is working, how will it come, etc., then you will only ever see those things be translated to your thoughts, emotions, reactions, events, etc.

so yes, you did manifest. you did use the law, and yes it may be unintentional and you didn't mean to, but this is exactly what happened. you used the law, and you focused on struggle, you focused on not having manifested, you focused on the 3D being your source of validation. your 3D is feedback -- it's literally telling you that your focus should NOT be on this.

and i'm not saying this to blame you, anon, i'm saying this because the truth of the matter is that you are NOT an exception to the law. you ARE the law. i know it is a double-edged sword, but you have the choice to lean towards the side where you realize that this is actually a good thing. you have the free will to believe that you can take advantage of this ability that you have always had in you your whole life and use it for good.

you are meant to learn this truth. i promise you that this is not an accident, none of what i am saying to you is an accident. the 3D is feedback of your 4D, and here i am, giving you the feedback that you need to hear right now.

so here's what i want you to do:

stop seeking external validation. stop looking at success stories, stop looking for advice, stop seeking external guidance, stop all of it. i feel like you already know everything that you need to know. and more importantly, stop looking out at the outer world and believing that it is the final outcome. it's not. if you find yourself seeking it, stop it and tell yourself "i trust me. i trust the god-in-me. i know everything that i need to know already, so i can trust now." and this is where my second point comes in.

it's time to start trusting yourself, and not just your human self -- trust your divine self too. trust your higher self, inner self, god-in-you, universe, infinite intelligence whatever the hell you want to name it. you are not just your conscious mind, you are so much more than that. seth talks about this in his books. you are so incredible. your human mind is only one aspect of who you really are, and that is so amazing. you are infinity and beyond.

you are on your own journey. comparison is the thief of joy. stop focusing on other people and what they're doing. again, stop reading those success stories. delete social media if you have to.

if you need a break from the law, PLEASE take a break from it. you were never meant to struggle. you were never meant to try so hard. take that break and take care of yourself. do what you have to do to feel better, to feel good. it will be so worth it.

be kind to yourself. give yourself compassion because i have a hunch that you might not have been so kind to yourself about your journey. don't be so hard on yourself, again, you are on your own journey. if you mess up, it's not the end of the world. it's not permanent. you can always pick yourself back up.

[beegalactica]

HOT GIRLS ARE CONSCIOUS.

I haven't been on Tumblr in about 3 months (life has been busy), and when I finally decided to check back in today, I kept seeing the same thing over and over again, so I am here to dispel some myths.

If you have seen any of my posts, you will know the issues I have with traditional TikTok-y trendy 'glow-up' advice, but today I realised how much of it is just a ploy to get us to spend tons of money on things we CAN live without. I think we all need to be more CONSCIOUS: conscious of what we can realistically afford and implement into our daily lives.

For example, in a typical 'glow-up' advice post, tiktok or youtube video, they recommend these super unrealistic routines that include a full skincare routine of every type of cream you could ever imagine, and an incredibly detailed list that lays out how you need to spend every 10 minutes of your day in order to achieve this perfect form.

It's all hear-say.

Don't get roped into thinking that you need those brand new clothes, or you need those skincare items to be your best self. The idea of turning your 'glow-up' into a sustainable part of your life is to do things you can manage to do over and over again. The secret to glowing up permanently is having a routine that keeps you happy and healthy. Instead of buying a full shelf of skincare all in one go, get 1 or 2 items with positive reviews to start. You don't need to throw out your whole wardrobe and sell your soul to TEMU just to look aesthetic; use what you have. Rather than making short term impulsive purchases, treat every part of your life as an investment.

Especially when it comes to clothing, being someone who has lost weight and no longer fits into all their old clothes, instead of throwing everything out and starting from scratch, I bought a little amazon sewing kit with a couple of needles and different types of thread and started cutting and sewing my way to a better wardrobe. (Even TODAY, I turned an old pair of jeans that I never wear into a cute miniskirt all from a 5 minute YouTube tutorial.) If sewing isn't your thing, you can try using some hemming tape and an iron, fabric glue, or whatever you can. Be conscious of the things you buy and how often you buy them.

I know lots of people like thrifting, and you can thrift online with apps like Vinted, which I personally use and love, if you don't have access to massive thrift stores like they do in America (I'm totally not jealous at all 🙄🙄; I live in the UK and the closest things I have near me are charity shops but there's a sort of stigma around shopping in them but honestly who cares what others think).

When you shop for clothes, look for timeless and versatile pieces you can mix and match, layer and style with lots of different things, allowing you to wear them well. Try to find good staple pieces, that will make the basis of your wardrobe. Be an outfit repeater. Do not blindly follow trends; take the time to curate and explore to find your style. Make a massive Pinterest board of everything you think looks good, and start to make a list of common items of clothing and accessories you save the most; these will be your staples. Don't feel like you have to stick strictly to one aesthetic; my wardrobe ranges from 'fairycore' maxi skirts to y2k denim skirts, but what matters is that I am mindful of whether I will use the things I want to buy.

Of course, feel free to treat yourself, you 100% deserve it, but don't get sucked into the idea that your self worth is determined but WHAT you have; instead it should be how you FEEL in what you have.

I like to see my blog as a little notebook of things I wish I could have told my younger self, and things I want to remind my future self, and I feel like it would be a disservice to not talk about the oversaturation of our feeds with infinite products, to the point where everything feels like an AD.

Moral of the story: don't just take everything you see online at face value. Don't get trapped in extensive consumerism; it's bad for your bank account, it's bad for the environment and it's bad for your mental health.

Also here's my Pinterest if you want to have a peek around <3 Pinterest