#I'm not out to any of my coworkers though because some of them are homophobic

[feralnumberfive]

Straight people stop assuming a guy and a girl being friends and talking to each other are dating and flirting challenge ‼️⚠️ IMPOSSIBLE ⚠️‼️

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

[carriagelamp]

All I can say is why did it take me so long to finally try reading Wodehouse? I knew I would like the Jeeves books and yet it took me until now to finally crack one. Definitely my highlight for this month, though I was also very into the two nonfiction books I read.

I'm finding more and more that I enjoy a nice, narrative nonfiction... any one have any similar recs? Nonfiction has never been on my radar but now I really want to find more that follow this narrative vein...

Candy Color Paradox Assorted Pack

A collection of short bonus stories collected from various points in the series. Kaburagi and Onoe both work for the same weekly magazine and are initially forced to work together on stakeouts. Their relationship gradually grows from antagonistic coworkers to lovers to genuine boyfriends who are learning how to make their relationship work. One of the things I appreciate about this series is that once they decide to date, their relationship stays fairly stable — there’s hiccups as they work on their own insecurities or relationship complications, but there’s no breaking up or will-they-won’t-they once they’re actually dating and the drama shifts to their shared work and making a relationship work in a fairly homophobic society. This particular volume was fun though nothing outstanding, but it will help tide me over until the next book in the series.

Console Wars

A non-fiction book I read on my brother’s recommendation. I only have a vague sort of interest in the video game industry, I mostly enjoy hearing my brother talk about it because he has a lot of knowledge about it, but I really enjoyed this book! It describes the ins-and-outs of the Nintendo relaunched the video game industry in North America with the Entertainment System, and then the competition that gradually developed between them and the underdog that was Sega. It was an exciting, amusing, and engagingly narrative look at that period in history! I would definitely recommend it to anyone that has an even passing interest in that point in time, this book really makes you root for everyone involved!

Five Nights At Freddy’s

You know what, this one was on me. I should have known exactly how bad it would be and I still chose to try it. The problem is, back when the first… three-ish FNAF games came out in 2014 and 2015 the lore was actually kind of neat. I had a lot of fun playing through them with my cousins trying to find out more about the story. Obviously it devolved into something completely different and a lot more get-that-money-from-those-kids over the years, but I, naively, thought hey… if they’re making a movie… maybe they’re returning to some of those original plot ideas? Maybe it will even be… kind of interesting? The Silver Eyes was a fairly neat novel, even if the lore felt very different so… maybe this one would be too?

Nope. Read a chapter, loathed everything from the writing, to the attitude, to the characters, and then slung it back at my local library unfinished. Don’t even bother picking this up, good lord.

My Happy Marriage 2

This was… fine. I rather enjoyed the first book of My Happy Marriage since it was a Cinderella-esque story set in the Taishō era with some fun magical elements. Lots of class division, the main character suffered very clear abuse and it wasn’t just brushed away, and her arranged fiancé was clearly overwhelmed and sympathetic when faced with this very different fiancée on his doorstep. The writing wasn’t great but the plot was fun. In book two the writing continued to not be great, but the plot also just… didn’t catch my interest. I’d still recommend the first book for some pleasant, light reading, but I don’t think I’ll continue with this series. Might try watching the anime instead…

The Inimitable Jeeves

I’ve been meaning to read the Jeeves books for years, and I finally got the push I needed from a mutual who was recommending it to me. It was everything I could have hoped for! Really made me think fondly of The Importance of Being Ernest by Oscar Wilde, or even Terry Pratchett’s writing to a certain extent — you can tell Pratchett read this author and picked up bits of his tone. Anyway, it’s exactly the sort of humour I enjoy and the whole thing is aided by having incredibly loveable characters. There’s the clever, unflappable valet Jeeves who seems capable of omniscience and of solving every problem to ever arise, as well as Bertie Wooster who I love with my entire  heart. If Bertie was a different sort of character or narrator, this might have been a much less enjoyable  series but he is a genuinely very kind, generous, likeable sort of person who is cheerfully aware that he’s a bit of an airhead and is happy to have Jeeves around to do this thinking. What a blessing. Highly recommend if you like short story collections and want something silly and fun.

The Last Firehawk v.11-12

This is a young children’s series that keeps compelling me to return to it for some reason. The first part of the series I actually quite liked and thought was very well done for the 5-8ish age group, depending on reading level. It’s easy reading but it’s a nice introduction to a linear quest plot and has reasonably nice art. There was a sharp decline in quality for most of the second series but I decided I should read the last two books just to say I’d done it. I’m happy to say that books eleven and twelve improved the story a little bit, with characters Tag, Skyla and Blaze discovering that their enemy from the first series (The Shadow) had returned and had taken a new host: a rat king that lived in the Underland.

The League of Lady Poisoners

An excellent nonfiction volume that contains short overviews of some famous female poisoners throughout history. It includes some nice, stylized art that was a treat, and I enjoyed the way the writer explored some of the motivations or reasons that a woman in these various time periods might resort to poisoning without painting every figure with a ubiquitous brush of Evil Monster. It was pretty light and I would read a story or two in the evenings.

The Long Patrol

I love Redwall books and felt like picking up one I hadn’t read before would be a nice treat for the spring. You pretty much know exactly what you’re going to get when you read a Redwall book and this one didn’t disappoint. It focused on various hares of the Long Patrol, the current Badger Lady, and a fun cast in Redwall Abbey. The dilemma arises because one of the Abbey walls is caving in and needs to be repaired, while a band of Rapscallion vermin are marching to try to take the Abbey for themselves. Standard fare. Lots of good food descriptions, a coming of age story for a young hare who had run away to join the Long Patrol, and a Goonies-style adventure with the Abbess and some of her friends as they explore the caverns beneath the Abbey. I can’t say I loved the book, but I enjoyed it. If you want a Redwall adventure, it delivers.

Owls in the Family

A cute chapter book that’s set in Saskatchewan during the middle of the century. It focuses on Billy who has a tendency to adopt strange pets that he collects from the plains. His newest acquisition is a pair of owlets — one he finds in a bush under a storm with a very spunky personality, the other a very meek, nervous one that he rescues from a group of older boys who were throwing stones at it. The book is filled with a variety of fun adventures that come from having a pair of loyal owls as pets that lightly terrorise the neighbourhood. It’s considered a school classic, though be prepared for some light racism considering it was published in the sixties…

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat

A sapphic food manga! It follows a protagonist who enjoys being able to cook and post about the meals she creates. She is somewhat resentful of the men who then expect that this means she will be a very “domestic” sort of girlfriend, someone who will consistently cook them meals and keep house. That’s not the point! She likes the artistry of cooking! One thing she’s never gotten much of a chance to try though is to create larger, more robust or complex meals, because as a single person there’s no way to eat it all. When she meets a neighbour from down the hall though, she’s delighted to have found someone who is very appreciative of her cooking and will enthusiastically join her in cooking and eating the meals. Such begins their relationship.

The Very Very Far North

This book feels like a modern day Winnie-the-Pooh. There’s a charming timelessness to it; it made an excellent bedtime book. The story follows Duane the polar bear as he gradually makes friends with some of the other animals who live in the Very Very Far North and the lighthearted adventures they have around the Arctic. The main theme of this story is how one can be friends with people who have very personalities and interests from yourself, and it does a great job of setting up each character as very different and then makes them learn how to coexist and get along.

Minecraft: The Village

The last of Max Brook’s Minecraft trilogy. I also can’t believe I’ve read three entire Minecraft novels considering I couldn’t give two hoots about the game in general, but Max Brooks treats the topic surprisingly seriously and creates a compelling story. The series began with the protagonist, Guy, waking up in this strange world with very few memories of his life before, and now forced to learn how to understand the bizarre rules of this world and learn how to survive. Each book in the series (The Island, The Mountain, The Village) expands the scope of Guy’s world and the challenges he has to overcome. The first book focuses on how to survive as an individual, how to learn and respect the natural world, and how to find a moral compass even on one’s own. The second book introduces a new character, Summer, and focuses on learning how to compromise and work alongside another person, and is all about friendship rules. The second was, imo, the weakest of the series but since I am not the intended audience the friendship lessons also felt the most dull to me. This third book was another uptick and may be my favourite of the series. Guy and Summer leave the Mountain in an effort to find a way to return to their true homes and along the way discover a Village that’s filled with villagers. In this book their world expands to include other people and cultures as they have to learn how to respect other people’s autonomy, and question what it means to exist as a society. It really poses some neat questions, I enjoyed the discussion a lot. A nice strong ending to the series.

[bitchesgetriches]

I know this question probably isn’t really in your wheelhouse but I was hoping the mighty bitches could maybe offer some insight anyways? So I’m a 25 year old female presenting person I still live with my parent because cost of living but I pay all my own bills and I pay monthly room and board. I just bought a ticket to go see Orville Peck by myself which I am very excited about the issue is that there isn’t a single person I know that would be cool we me going to see him because he’s gay and even though I’m an adult and therefore can come and go as I please it would be weird for me to go somewhere and not tell my parents where I’m going and also because I don’t know anyone else who would even be remotely interested in going I’m going alone to a different city an hour away to a concert that probably won’t be over until late. The question is how do I go to this concert without telling my parents while also not jeopardizing my own safety? I can’t just say I’m going out and probably won’t be back until late because I almost always provide more details than that not because my parents demand it or anything but just because I don’t see any reason not to. And the only person I can think of who I could tell I’m going to this concert without them asking why I would even want to go to it is one of my coworkers but I don’t have that kind of relationship with her and I think it would be weird if I asked her to cover for me like some teeny bopper sneaking out at night.

TLDR I’m gay everyone around me is either extremely or mildly homophobic and I want to go to a gay concert without outing myself and without getting kidnapped. Any tips?

Darling child, you're clearly very anxious about this. I'm sorry we live in a world where you have to worry about your safety in such a simple situation.

But I truly think the answer is simple: tell your parents or some friends where you're going. Lots of musicians are gay as hell, and lots of Straights(TM) enjoy their music. If homophobia or being outed is a concern, you have plausible deniability.

Also? I bet Orville Peck has fan groups in your area! Take to social media and see if you can find them before the show. Make some friends you can hang out with at the concert.

Good luck, sweet pea. Here's more on awkward parental conversations:

Season 1, Episode 8: "My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands." 

[pens-and-paperbacks]

"Nobody wants to work! Everyone is so lazy! No one has any work ethic!"

That's all a lie and I'm sorry you've been made to believe that. The truth is people are applying and many people have great work ethic or can be easily taught but the jobs they're forced into are so trash that if they had the choice, why would they ever actually apply there? Why would they want to work there?

My current workplace, a gas station, is sitting on at least a dozen applications but my boss won't hire any of them because, "they're welfare fodder, they've only kept a job for six months or less." We're finally hiring someone in now because, "they looked put together and have a nice looking car," but only because one of my coworkers is leaving, having out in a notice a month ago which my boss hasn't forgiven her for and is spiteful about. All of this doesn't even touch the HUGE mouse problem we had for MONTHS, the heavily leaking ceiling with a huge hole over its door, or the mold that's just everywhere throughout the fridges and the ceiling tiles. And even THAT doesn't touch on the surprising amount of racist and homophobic comments I hear from customers (or employees/my boss sometimes) here and there.

At another job I worked from the stores opening, through orientation, and watched everyone that had miraculously lasted the first two years leave because two of my managers had an affair, lied about it to everyone, fired someone over seeing their text messages and kept messing up our supply orders. When my actual boss finally stepped in he was so out of touch with what actually needed to be done in the store that it caused worse problems. I also heard at some point, when people had to take on second jobs, that this boss was flat out doing everything he could to get rid of people because, " they were making another job their priority instead of this one."

The second job I had to take during the one mentioned just above (because I was one of those people not getting enough hours) was flat out a horrible, toxic work environment. Everyone had a bad attitude, did not want to be there and even if it seemed like they were having a good day, one wrong work or work slip up made their mood flip on a dime. I had to flat out ask to not be put on the schedule with one of the employees because they were that mean to me, and I can get along with anyone so that's saying something. The labor cost they had was absolutely ridiculous there (meaning they could only keep so many people on at a time to afford being there, possibly only two even during a lunch or dinner rush with a fully packed drive through and lobby) and when one manager decided, "I have to send my help home and work by myself for an hour, otherwise I'm gonna get yelled at about the labor cost," and singlehandedly handled one of those lunch rushes on their own. They were written up for it. They left that morning after signing that paper because, despite not being allowed to be there on your own as an employee, our boss was adamant about labor costs and could have covered for her or not told anyone. If she hadn't have some what she did, she would have actually been yelled at. It was an incredibly disrespectful move done in the name of corporate.

The one job that paid me well did so because they appreciated my work and everyone else kept leaving. I saw three raises in three months because I was essentially THE kitchen manager. That was great. Thing was, even though the people I worked with and for were good to me, it was a bowling alley/restaurant/arcade/bar where you were expected to prep, cook, take reservations, set people up on lanes via computer, serve people if your manager was busy, do light maintenance on the bowling machines and arcade machines, keep up with dishes and get the end of the day cleaning done which sometimes meant vacuuming the carpet across all eighteen lanes of customer seating and cleaning the tables/chairs stationed there too. All of that, despite the raises, was done for minimum wage starting and the place was almost always packed. I'd often get asked to stay because they kept a few employees that while good at their job they just missed shifts constantly because they knew they could, since this job had on-call shifts too. There were nights my husband picked me up that I was so sore and overworked that I would get in the car and just start sobbing. I wouldn't stop for ten minutes or more, either until we were mostly home or we got something to eat since I was normally too hungry to keep crying.

The very first job I ever got was at a pizza place. Over all it was the most laid back, despite being run by one of the Mafia families in town (of which there are a few but tbf they're very low key). The problem there was that the boss was a fucking scumbag who thought that in his case the Mafia status made him a big shot. It didn't. On a side note, his self important scumbag attitude made the other families in the area see him for the joke he was. He would make passes at the waitresses in exchange for streak dinners and money, only ever hire girls who were cute/pretty as waitresses so he could have a chance at doing so with someone cute/pretty. When we had a lot of money coming in he would spend it on improving the bar that was attached to the restaurant, as in getting new flat screen tvs or new glasses, some trivial thing that he didn't actually need. Not the kitchen ware that needed fixing, which at one point caused me to get a third degree burn because someone ended up running into my arm with boiling hot lasagna out of an oven we didn't normally use. There was also a point where I had to deliver a pizza to him, which he ordered drunkenly and over the phone while he was in the bar only twenty feet away, but when I went to deliver it to him and grab a jug of wine I needed for the restaurant, his grandson (very politely) had to stop me from doing so because his grandfather was doing something with a woman in the backroom of the bar in the middle of the day.

Currently, I have to move out of my house and in with friends a state away with my husband because even with two people working nearly 40 hours each at a minimum wage job still isn't enough to live and thrive off of. It's nothing we can make an actual life off of. We have to leave our house behind for a season, get new jobs and save money in this new place, just so we can afford to come back and fix up and sell our house/land. Our combined income is about $30,000 flat, in a small town where everything was just affordable enough to get by. It isn't anymore.

I sent out five job applications in one month only to hear back from one with a no, the others ghosted me completely until just the other day, literally the month after.

"No one wants to work! Everyone is lazy! No one is applying!"

You don't know how bad it is and has been even before COVID. Add inflation onto the long list of fucked up, unprofessional or flat out cruel things that can be done or said in many workplaces, which you have to deal or else your fired, on top a work chore/task sheet that probably keeps you overworked and exhausted the entire week/month/year and I ask you-

Would you want to work?

[nilikhangdiwa]

2022 Fic Wrap Up!

basically i will talk about every fic i've written this year, behind the scenes of them, plus some bonus stuff i've written! i'm pretty sure all of it is a3, with like. one or two outliers, if any. anyway! enjoy my rambling.

btw, all my fics are private for the time being, so you'll need an ao3 account to read them. sorry about that, bots are. shit.

1.

I Touched a Magic Mirror and Ended Up in My Parental Figure's Favorite RPG?!

masumi isekai fic, kniroun extended universe, mentioned lancelot/gawain/arthur

basically when i was wtiting this fic it was around this time of the year, and i was like "i'm gonna finish this fic by the time classes start up again!"

SPOILER ALERT. I DID NOT.

it kept getting longer and longer. umm. i do really like it! i love kniroun a normal amount, please ask me about the extended kniroun universe always. i did love writing it a lot, even though it caused me some grief because i was like i am not splitting this into two chapters fuck off.

so, yeah! also i'm sorry to oomf, who always cries when they reread the fic because fictional britain is homophobic. ummmm. sorry. lancelot has issues. again, please feel free to talk to me about kniroun.

- - -

2.

when the moon fell in love with the sun (all was golden in the sky)

short fics collection, lone wolves week, mostly platonic with azuhiso and azuchika thrown in

lone wolves week 2022! i ended up putting all my little drabble submissions into one fic. i think i wrote most of them the day before the actual day it was supposed to be posted? as usual, i skipped free day because i'm so bad at those.

azuma and sakuya one was cute and domestic! i like them and i always have camellia to cherry blossom on the brain (the fic by desikauwa i think) so yeah!

azuchi brainrot is azuchi because my friend super loved azuchi when they were into a3 and it rubbed off on me lol

the hisoka and sakuya one is silly because the entire fake play it's based off is actually a sakuya/homare play. nieves (hisoka) is my favorite because i love hisoka, and she's in love with zenaida (citron) to a. hm. questionable degree because i'm a sucker. liberato's (sakuya) the colead, he's cute but a menace, and he betrays vedasto (homare, lead) at the end of the second act. other actors in the play are ramil (azuma) and basilio (chikage), and all the names are based off filipino gods/names/words.

azuhiso cute and soft there's nothing much to say, tbh.

chikage & hisoka is the. most un-normal one. idk. they have me fucked up. they are also fucked up. they are traumatized in the same way but in a different way but they are family and it's. certainly a thing.

the last chikage & sakuya one is. hmm. i think it's inspired partially by another similar fic that percy timeskipped wrote + partially by the scene in act 12 (or 11?) where sakuya sees aunt yoshinaga, but don't quote me on this because i barely remember writing this tbh.

- - -

3.

Jun. Fucking. Hates. DRINKING PARTIES.

tasuhoma, nonokou, nocturnality

this one was for a valentine's fic exchange and i actually like nonokou a lot! i'm personally a furarei nonokou kind of guy, so getting the excuse to write it was fun! nonomiya is such a normal guy, it's fun to see him get tossed into shenanigans, whether that's the supernatural kind, or his dumbass coworker-slash-lover gets shitfaced

- - -

4.

utsuki chikage rates harry potter characters on how hot they are

crackfic

i have nothing to add. this is one of those fics where i basically just write down the stuff my friends say but make a3 characters say them. like the kfc crocs thing. discord servers are wild

- - -

5.

'cause i'm not too far, and you're my favorite place

chikaita, fluff, established relationship

this was a commission for my friend, cg! truth be told, i only really got into chikaita around like, december last year, thanks to rptwt. i'm usually an itatsumu guy, but i love all the ships!

this one turned out super cute and i'm really happy! honestly there's nothing much to say, i just think that they deserve a cute little date with no danger of anything.

- - -

6.

Letters in Paper Airplanes

madomika

okay so backstory on madomika. me and some friends were playing frantic fanfic earlier in the year and then ended up with this ship? so CLEARLY. _CLEARLY_. I DECIDED TO BE INSANE ABOUT IT. because i love madoka and i love mika so clearly i am insane about this.

they're just so cute and understanding and soft spoken, but they really do care about each other a lot! in general, i think mika deserves a lot!

this fic is actually the 5000th (i think. or 6000th) a3 fic on ao3! my friend also wanted to be that milestone fic but i beat her to it and it was a little petty of me ;;; sorry aud

- - -

7.

Love is Stored in the Car's Center Console Box

igawa & tenma, father's day

father's day fic! this one's pretty straightforward, i just adore tenma and igawa's relationship and i hope we get to see them more moving forward! i like to contrast tenma's relationship with issei vs with igawa. umm. igawa best dad.

- - -

8.

The Ocean at Sunset

hisohoma, established relationship, dresses

this was for a pride month exchange! umm, honestly, i'm not auper sure if i captured what my giftee wanted, but i had fun writing it! i... actually i just like writing hisoka as down bad as humanly possible.

it was challenging for sure, tho! because i. am not good at writing hisoka, despite him being my fave. so i'm not sure what compelled me to write in hisoka's pov. but i think it worked out!

- - -

9.

You've Got My Time, You are My Plans

tonoita, established relationship, breakfast

this was supposed to be for the "spoiled" prompt of rarepair week, but i finished it early, got another idea for the prompt, and then decided to just post it solo instead.

i am. coming out as a tonoita liker. they make me feel vicious. feral. it's insane. this was kickstarted because my friend likes them and i got dragged in. funny banter. but also they are exes. but also they are still in love with each other. they both hurt each other but they are both stubborn. i want them to make out.

- - -

10.

(before you went on a journey) i had something that i wanted you to hear

banri & itaru, background chikaita, nobles au

another comm for cg! this one's based off an au that i have called prestige au, where basically as a kid itaru was forced to move out and live alone in a separate manor as his noble family, and his isolation continues to adulthood causing rumors to spread. banri's his bio brother in this one.

it was tricky to write because i got used to expanding this au verse through rp, but writing it out like this was fun too!

if you're curious, you can ask me about prestige au because i love my little blorbo. my little fumkin guy.

- - -

11.

everything stays right where you left it

banmisu, first meeting, canon compliant

day 1 of rarepair week for the pairing "forgotten". um. okay, the thing is, i'm pretty sure banmisu wasn't my original plan for this. i'm fairly sure it was supposed to be some other ship actually, but things changed and i don't remember what the original ship was! also i forgot where i put the original list of ships i was gonna do so yeah.

banmisu brainrot is juju's fault btw. that's all. i think banmisu is such an interesting ship to think about. this is also partially mikael's fault i think but that's from years ago. please feed me more.

- - -

12.

Silk-Spun Threads

azutsumu, slightly more mature idk

I AM THE NUMBER ONE AZUTSUMU ADVOCATE. it's up there as one of my favorite fuyu ships, right beside tsumuhiso! i think as a pair they're super slept on so i decided that yeah. i think they're neat. i think this super hot and gorgeous and sensual person should be _down fucking horrendous_ for the chuuni mushroomhead with dirt on his face.

that is to say, please make more azutsumu food i need this

- - -

13.

How to Melt Your Gamer Boyfriend

hisoita

OKAY THIS ONE. day 3 - heat haze. the other prompt was downpour. and actually, this day was supposed to be banmado downpour where bamri shows up at fuyou while it's raining to pick madoka up from class. and i ended up not writing it because i was struggling so i settled for the good, old-fashioned itaru pov cute fluffy fic.

i love hisoita a normal amount. i think this is the only hisoita i wrote this year but 2022 was the year of hisoitas (thank you bee and quill), and ali (hisoita oomf) is definitely a major part of my brainrot

- - -

14.

Starlight

juligawa, we ignore canon, fluff

i'm pretty sure the tumblr ppl don't know about juligawa which is super funny. i love talking about juligawa because i love seeing people like WHY ARE YOU SHIPPING JULY AND IGAWA and my answer is that it's fun.

this is the only rarepair week fic i actually finished before the week (aside from the tonoita one) and i was so excited to share it to specifically attack oomf. ryu ryukogo ceo of juligawa real! i am so attached to this funny little crackship i hope them happiness

- - -

15.

Wheel of Suits

citoju, citron harem au

i feel like this one requires a lot of context. um. back in 2020/2021 i ended up in a discord roleplay game where basically my friend and i roleplayed citron and july respectively. and the thing is that they literally just antagonized each other the whole time and then we decided that _yeah we are ill for this ship now_ so yeah.

citron harem agenda is an entirely separate au where everyone i ship with citron is part of his bigass royal harem. this is literally everyone from tsuzuru to azuma, barring guy, plus augju. you can also ask me about this if you want. each of them has a specific like little character arc and they have fun little limk skills and everything.

okay, back to citoju. umm. so the thing is. this wasn't supposed to be the first citoju fic. but i did not have the time or energy to write a 20k fic featuring truth and betrayal and first love and separation and forgiveness and tenderness so here we are. nonetheless. i love em.

- - -

16.

Hollow Gods

harutsumu, first meeting, pre-canon

i really... really... like harutsumu. i think they're fun and they are _actors_, and they have so much love and passion for it that it makes me want to make them kiss. i also like to think about how fucked up godza was to like. everyone. literally everyone. even reni. no one was winning. if i could i'd love to expand harutsumu's dynamic and relationship but idk.

- - -

17.

Caravan

georgetim, lucitim, kazuhoma, kazutsumu, lumicirc

i am so insane and fucked up over georgetim you would not believe it. okay first off this was supposed to be purely kazutsumu because they're one of my fave ships to think about, but then lumicirc happened.

i hate lumicirc. because. GOD.

i'm just going to copy and paste the essay gave my friend because i am ill over them

anyway. this is fucking horrible why is tim so in love with george. why are they clown augju. george is so DUMB and a ditz and totally golden hearted and tim is more realistic and logical but at the same time he owes george his everything and he loves george so much for being there for him and giving him a family and i just. god what the fuck the pining i hate this stupid ship i feel very violence

they have me in a VISE GRIP george is such an idealist and an optimist and tim is the realist that levels him out, but even in the play you can tell that tim does care about george so much and he's the only one who stayed when nick and will both left but tim has always been by his side!! they even trained together doing circus acts when they were younger

tim can come off kind of cold but he's just like. a little blunt and i care about him a lot he's very realistic but he's not a bad guy,, he wants the circus to succeed too, just like george. they're working for the same dream. i am crying

anyway, please consider

- - -

18.

you could be my queen, i could be your dream

summer troupe, frantic fanfic, humor

after rarepair week i got into a super writing slump for like a solid 3 months, where i could barely write anything. this one was for an exchange that i signed up for a few months prior, but finishing it gave me a sense of accomplishment. like, i had to sit down and write and write _something_ and i did and i finished it and i like it!

so about the fic. it's so stupid. don't let the title fool you, it's literally just a funny little fic where summer troupe writes franfic. i had like a spreadsheet open for everything and all the pairs that went together and who everyone got i swear i'm sane.

- - -

19.

Black and Red Dress

mukuyuki, minatori, last runway, +3ghosts, major character death, hospitals

this one was a commission for ryu! minatori (minato [muku +3ghosts] and kikukawa [yuki last runway]) the world! the ship started because of just some silly roleplay we did on a whim and then we got attached. god. they are cute and tragic, best combo

i actually finished this comm the day after ryu asked for it because i went insane and speedran it. ummmm. :> yeah.

- - -

20.

Stapler Eater and Papercut Boy

bansaku, soulmate au, first meeting

comm for raina! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS THE ONLY BANSAKU FIC I WROTE THIS YEAR. actually, the entire year i was struggling to write as much as last year but you know what. i'm okay with that actually. 20 fics is still a lot. anyway.

soulmate au where the marks on your skin appear on your soulmate's skin. it's super cute and fluffy and me and raina talk about their funny little dynamic on twitter and i just love it. i love them.

- - -

bonus!

Memory Foam

citochika, non explict sex

this one's on anon actually but yeah i wrote it. i was having a time. i love citochika and the trust and love in their relationship. i love writing chikage in nsfw situations and then making it unbearably soft and tender. i'm normal. 👍

- - -

bonus!

twitter rp thread speedrun! (i'm not linking these, that's embarrassing.)

hazuki au

i want him to be happy. do you ever think about what if the org found out about mankai? yeah. fucked up. but he's my baby and i care him so much i'm sorry for traumatizing him

74 threads

ngl not all of my writing in these threads are my favorite but you know it's super fun coming up with thoughts and ideas for july to torment itaru so

sunflower july au

...... july nice guy era? i wish i'd finished it. but anyway. i think i can fix him

hafez au

i'm sorry i keep fucking up the bunny, i didn't mean it! yes i did. i think it's fun to watch chikage react to various horrible situations. i love the hurt part, but i love the comfort part. i love seeing him heal and get over his past and move forward. yes i know i gave him that horrible past but you can't just say secret mercenary spies and leave it at that a3

- - -

OKAY END. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. if you clicked any of the links i love you. hope to write more next year! :3

[tickledpink31]

Does LGBTQ exist in Twisted Wonderland? What would the boy's reaction be when Minako comes out as bisexual? What would happen if they met Minako's siblings who are also queers? (Except Kento) Like Flor and Alexis

I headcanon that Twisted Wonderland is a bit more of a LGBTQ-friendly than Earth and most of the world leans slightly towards matriarchy (a bit like the Gelfling from the Dark Crystal series), and it's been that way for centuries. However, there are some places that are a little slow to take on these beliefs and societal structures like the Village of Harvest/Harveston if Epel's toxic masculinity is anything to go by since he must have learnt it from somewhere.

And let's be real here, the twst cast can be pretty queer at times.

The twst boys usually don't make a big fuss about Minako being bisexual. She already sort of revealed that she swings both ways in chapter 7 of my fanfic. It's on Earth where she's more cautious about her mentioning her sexual preferences, or more specifically the wizarding community. It's not like she's still closeted around her Hogwarts and Muggle peers, it's just that she doesn't tell anyone about it unless if it comes up in conversation when she knows she's safe to talk about it.

Flor is openly gay and married at the risk of being ostracized by her. She's a Hufflepuff, but she has to be tough as nails to get her oppressors off her back and tell any unwanted male suitors: "No, I'm gay and happy with my wife."

Alexis is genderfluid, but is closeted to most people in the British wizarding community, except towards close friends and family. They fear losing their job or that their coworkers would never understand them dressing more femininely on girl days. Most of the time they present as man or at least gender-neutral at work or within areas highly populated by mages. They are trying to implement the idea of a magical sex change in the medical field, but it's still a work in progress.

I imagine that Flor and Alexis would let out a sigh of relief that they could be themselves in Twisted Wonderland. They can breathe again! Thank Merlin!

Kento is an interesting one though. His siblings joke about how he's the token straight, cisgender sibling, but he still enjoys "traditionally feminine" things. We know he loves Sailor Moon. He has a fondness for cute animals, like bunnies and kittens. Kento has been raised in a home that told him not to care too much about the gendered things.

Peer pressure still gets to him on the occasion. I feel like a preteen/teenage Kento has accidentally befriended a couple of people who will leave him stupefied when they say the most depraved homophobic/transphobic joke to ever leave a human's mouth. If Kento were to ever say anything like that... no he did not because his sisters forcefully washed it out of his mouth.

As an adult, he's more careful about who he chooses to be friends with now. He even lets his Ofelia or Minako give him makeovers or manicures.

[whatyourusherthinks]

Lawrence of Arabia Review

I am old. Roan you aren't even 25 yet at time of writing. Good point Buggnutz let me revise that statement. I have an old soul. That is my take away from when I expressed interest in watching Lawrence of Arabia to my coworkers, they all universally asked, "That four-hour long movie? You sure?" Yes, I don't usually like long movies and staying after work to watch this meant I didn't get home until midnight, but I've never seen a proper old Hollywood epic before. One where they had to hire a thousand extras and get a ton of horses and all those thousand of extras had to actually fall off those ton of horse because special effects are all practical still. One where a good 20% of the runtime is just filming locations. A movie from when the Hayes code was still a thing so we have to just heavily imply that Lawrence is gay. (Even though he wasn't. Most compelling theory is that he was an asexual masochist. He just wasn't homophobic.)

What's the Movie About?

It's a biopic about T.E. Lawrence, an English soldier who embedded himself among several Bedouin tribes in modern day Saudi Arabia and radicalized them against the Turks in World War One.

What I Like.

Well as I implied from the opening, the movie is a spectacle. "They don't make them like they used to" yeah yeah yeah but it some sense it's true. Watching a thousand guys ride around on horses and pretend to be shot and ACTUALLY FALLING OFF A SPEEDING HORSE INTO A HERD OF OTHER CHARGING HORSES is impressive. Not to discredit stunt performers that we have nowadays (Praise the Fall Guy, praise be to Colt Severs), but it definitely isn't the same knowing that it is certainly easier now to cover up any gaffs and the wires. The story is pretty cool. It helps that I think that Lawrence of Arabia looks at the most interesting person to fight in WWI, and he's pretty cool in this movie. I like that he's both badass and pathetic, like he extinguishes matches with his fingers and can pick up survival skills like no one's business, but he's foppish and also likes prancing around in white and gold robes. I like that there is stretches where the movies is just landscape shots. That's something that I kinda wish movies did more often, taking time to build tension and show off pretty places is cool. I guess now that Google Earth and things like it exist, it's unnecessary, but I still thought it was cool. This movie is way funnier than I expected too. There's not only a lot of quick wit between characters, and some savage burns, but there's quite of a bit of silly slapstick too. It probably won't land for everyone, there were certainly times where I was the only one laughing. But I loved it.

What I Didn't Like.

This movie is sixty years old, so of course it's racist! To be fair, it is, uh..., nuanced for a movie from the 60s. I liked the Arab characters more than the English ones and I'm pretty sure that was on purpose. There's a range of motivations among all the characters, and they present both sides of the issue of Arabia's independence. But only one named character is played by a Middle Eastern actor! Alec Guinness plays the prince of Arabia, and while yes, his performance is awesome, IT'S STILL BROWN FACE. (There's a moment that I almost burst out laughing where Lawrence thinks he can pass as an Arab by using a dirty cloth on his face, but he gets caught and beaten by the Turks because they notice he has blue eyes. Like you were thiiiiiis close to a realization we're you Lawrence of Arabia?)

I have other issues. The set up of this movie is weird. First, it starts with 3 full minutes of a black screen with the score playing. They do the same thing after the intermission too. After the 3 minutes of black screen, they show Lawrence riding his motorcycle, crashing his motorcycle, and then he dies. I thought they were doing a thing like in Citizen Kane where the movie is people telling the titular character's story post-humorously, but they never cut back to modern day. Also, I don't get the ending. It might be because it was hard to hear what people were saying, but it just seems like Lawrence drives off and is sad, and I'm not 100% sure where he's going.

Final Summation.

I'm glad I saw Lawrence of Arabia. But I don't need to watch it again and probably won't ever again. I don't necessarily even think it's a movie that everyone needs to watch. I thought you liked this movie Roan. I do! I just think it's too clunky to give my full recommendation. Yes, it's mostly because of it's age and that's not it's fault, but Citizen Kane is older. And that film slaps.

[bloodcrosses]

I'm just going to get this out, even though I know I'll just get shit on yet again. What else is new.

I am a member of the LGBTQ. I know you'll say I'm not the right one, but fuck it: no, Bohemian Rhapsody is not homophobic. It's literal message is about accepting yourself.

I told this story on my old account, but I was in such a bad place before I watched that movie. No, I wasn't magically cured of depression, but having something that made me feel hopeful helped.

I got shit on them, just like I'll get shit on now. I'm in a bad place again, because time and people ruin everything. But I'll never capitulate, like some people, to any of the rubbish about this movie. Because it is fucking wrong. I see you attacking fans still, trying to force us to grovel. Fuck you. It'll never work. Because you are wrong.

I was reading the other day about how a journalist had to put up with coworkers being shitty to him for liking BoRhap. What the hell is wrong with people. No one should be made to feel shitty for liking a goddamn movie. But hey, old school Queen "fans" have literally written "fic" attacking new fans (I mean, I'm 38 and been a fan since I was a kid, because my parents were and always played their music on car journeys. But hey, I didn't know the online fandom existed, so fuck me I guess) and harassing BoRhap fans.

Apparently you think this is reasonable behaviour.

I know I wasn't the only person who took inspiration from this movie. As I said, eventually people have worn me down, I don't really want to be alive anymore (I mean, you'll all be glad about that, one less person with bad taste according to you). But I'll never let you take this from me, and fuck you for even trying to take this from us.

[whatiwillsay]

hey, I'm fairly new to the taylor fandom in general I have a few questions and someone told me to come here and ask you. sorry if you've been asked all of these a hundred times before lol. I did quickly look through your pinned post but don't think any of this was mentioned, I might have missed it though

so I used to follow that one infamous blog.

and some of the stuff they said sounded really unbelievable to me but I just took their word for it cause I'm still new and they'd been in the fandom for a lot longer

ok so on that blog, about dianna they say:

— she was emotionally abusive and toxic and used to find taylor's suffering funny

— she would bodyshame taylor and is the reason taylor got her boobs done

— she was cheating on taylor the whole time with one of her glee castmates

— taylor hates her now and also completely ignored her at SNL

— she never actually cared about taylor that much and was sort of just messing her around the whole time

— babe is about dianna cheating on her

do you think any of those things are actually true? I realized how biased the people on that blog are. but idk if all of the points are completely made up or if some are true or if they actually have reasons that suggest any of the points are true

ok so there is a psychotic kaylor named laine who makes all this shit up. she sends anons to ttb and ttb gleefully publishes them because she has no conscious (ttb has doxed people and outed them to coworkers and their families, simply for disagreeing with her gaylor takes and all her little minions - iwhm, 9wing, the prologues, and industry hearts are fine with it - this is one of the things that made me snap on the kaylor fandom, like genuinely they’re all disgusting and if you fuck with those blogs please do not fuck with me, they’re all nasty fucking homophobes...anyway...)

laine also trolls people’s curious cats on twitter spreading these disgusting lies about dianna (search laine on my blog and you’ll see some other psychotic shit she’s sent in)

none of that is true at all i have spoken to former coworkers of dianna’s and people in her social circle.  she is very sweet and well-loved by everyone i’ve spoken to. i know this for a fact.

i think babe is about some kind of dalliance dianna must have had but as taylor said herself “i been there too a few times”

their breakup was mutual and they ended things on good enough terms. which is why taylor had her last message to dianna be “i love you” on 1989 .  taylor also used Clean to say she missed her which is very sweet.

taylor said very nice and balanced things about the muse that inspired 1989/style

she described dianna as that “one person” for her

she also goes on to admit they were both at fault when it came to the end of their relationship:

we have every reason to believe they’re on cordial terms (and taylor remembers her fondly - if i’m indeed right that the 1 and cardigan are about dianna) dianna would have had to be approved by Taylor to be in the VIP section at snl - like it is a fact that taylor could have disallowed her from being there.

so yeah taylor and dianna broke up due to external pressures as i very clearly laid out in my @swiftgronmasterpost (which i built to basically prove all that i’m saying here - just read the intro post there) and are almost certainly on good terms these days

taylor’s lyrics, her own words, and the fact that she allowed dianna to come to snl essentially proves that they’re good these days.  

meanwhile, we have piles of receipts that karlie betrayed taylor to scooter and taylor is out here referring to her as “a crook who was caught” while karlie incubates a kushner baby so...yeah...if we’re in a pissing contest for best ex, dianna 1000% wins, hands down, no questions asked.

[littlesmartart]

where did you get your ace spin ring? to be honest I don't know that much about asexual culture because even though I've identified that way for several years I also have a romantic orientation that I define myself by, and I never really came out as ace after that ... and then I stopped dressing in a way that's queer coded because I'm shy and it's easier ... even though I want the right kinda of people to know ... y'know?? 😬 ... so I would also value any advice u have to offer :'') <3 (I'm sorry, I really went off in this ask, I know it's not your general mdzs au content ... speaking of, I love all your art and headcanons for the characters!!!)

I got my ace spin ring online - where I bought it isn’t selling them any more, but if you google “black spin ring” there are a whole bunch on places like etsy that are pretty cheap and the same as what I have. as far as I’m aware the only thing that really makes a ring an “ace” ring specifically is it being black and wearing it on your right hand middle finger, but at the end of the day... it’s your ring! accessorise how you want :)

oh gosh, advice... okay, so I definitely get that difficult “want to look queer but don’t want straight people to realise” vibe - my coworkers are lowkey homophobic (in that they probably wouldn’t bully me or be awful if I came out as something like a lesbian, which is an identity they understand, but if I told them I was bi-ace or even just “queer” I’d definitely get some scepticism and a lot of invasive sex questions 🙄) and that’s for sure made me think twice about stuff like my hairstyle and my wardrobe. and also, I’m a cis woman married to a cis man, so if I want people to see that I’m queer rather than just assume I’m straight, I really have to loudly advertise it! and that’s just... not me?

so for sure, it’s a really tough balance to strike between being yourself vs wanting to advertise yourself as queer vs staying safe! I suppose for myself, I try and focus on building a personal image that I like, and if that does overlap with a lot of queer coded looks (which for me it definitely does haha) then great, and if it doesn’t, I have pride flag/heart pins on my jackets that I can either use to make sure the right people notice, or remove if I don’t feel safe with people knowing. I would also say what’s been a really big deal for me has been making friends with other ace people! so many people, even within the queer community, try to invalidate us, so there’s such an incredible power in finding solidarity with other people like you who can give you advice and keep your spirits up :)

as always: there’s no wrong way to be ace, and however you choose to visually present yourself for whatever reason that may be is totally valid 💜🖤

[ridiasfangirlings]

Yata gets a new job and one of his coworkers is also gay but worries yata is a homophobe for some reason, but then yata is like "ah no. i'm gay- this is my boyfriend saruhiko".

Weirdly I could see this happening, like Yata has his whole masculinity deal and getting annoyed at people for using his 'girly' first name and he looks like a punk, I could easily imagine someone who doesn't know him assuming things about him without actually getting to know him first. Like Yata's still working part time at the skateboard place and he's getting along with all his coworkers and he's pretty popular, one day a new guy gets hired and the two of them are introduced. The new guy is a little hesitant around Yata, not used to seeing such a brash guy and maybe he accidentally makes a comment about Yata being short that makes Yata lose his temper a bit. The new guy keeps an eye on Yata for the next few days and at some point finds out that Yata was once in a gang, though he doesn't know which one, and he sees Yata heading home one day accompanied by big scary winter Kamamoto and he basically assumes that Yata's some kind of hyper-masculine punk. The new guy is gay and he thinks he definitely has to hide it from Yata, like that's the type of guy who would start calling him names and tell him he's not manly because he likes other men.

So the new guy is really on guard around Yata after this, the rest of the employees know that he's gay but he doesn't want Yata to find out (imagine he tells one of their other coworkers too who is so confused because it's not like they don't all know about Yata's grumpy policeman boyfriend who stops by occasionally and pretends like he isn't there to see Yata). Yata for his part can tell that the guy is being wary around him and he's a little bummed about it, thinking maybe he's coming on too strong or he seems scary. But acting friendly doesn't seem to work either and he doesn't know what to do. Oh maybe one day Fushimi shows up to see Yata and the new guy spots him and is immediately a little smitten. He decides to see if Fushimi needs any help, trying to kinda subtly flirt and of course this doesn't work on Fushimi because to him it's just like oh this guy acts like Captain how irritating. The new guy is trying to figure out a way to ask Fushimi's number when Yata suddenly comes walking over like hey, hands off. The new guy immediately assumes that Yata saw him flirting and he's about to be berated in front of a customer for being gay, he's like look I know you don't like gay people but I'm allowed to be myself and it's not like I was saying anything inappropriate. Yata's all 'huh?' while Fushimi starts snickering, the new guy is waiting for Yata to say something awful to him but Yata's just like 'what the hell are you talking about, I was just saying hands off Saruhiko 'cause he's my boyfriend.' Fushimi is still snickering and Yata's all what's so funny asshole while the new guy stares at them and then finally just laughs, apologizing for thinking badly of Yata and asking if they can maybe start over again and be on better terms as coworkers this time.

[soaptunes]

my top 75 quarantine records: 75-66

wahoo! we actually begin this list with a controversial lowball rank, i think. bandcamp links as always where applicable!

#75. doom - born like this (2009) the masked mc's first appearance on this list comes with what i regard as his weakest solo album, actually his final one as well. this is a much darker effort than most of his other records, his verses spinning more genuinely twisted and gross yarns than his usual cartoonish villainy. it is also worth mentioning that there is an entire song on this that's dedicated to being homophobic, specifically towards, uh, batman? there's enough great wordplay and slinky beats on this thing to satisfy, though, and i did enjoy it. worth a listen just for the tracks where doom decides to kick it into his top form.

#74. the lemon twigs - do hollywood (2016) half beatles worship, half pure cabaret silliness, the lemon twigs for me are an extremely hit or miss band. i think they miss slightly more than they hit on this record, as they have a tendency to cover a lack of strong songwriter with extended noodling instrumental passages. THAT SAID, when they hit, they hit hard enough to make you forget they ever missed - the formula does work, provided they actually stick to it and don't lose the plot.

#73. car seat headrest - how to leave town (2014) similarly to doom, car seat headrest was an artist that i decided to check out the back catalogue of, and found it extremely rewarding!!! how to leave town was one of the lower-impact ones for me, just because of how dense and long-winded some of the songwriting can be. that's not necessarily a detractor for a lot of people, but it's hard for it to sustain my attention for that long. that said (becoming my catchphrase), it has so many amazing moments of pure catharsis that the project is still super compelling as a full listen. as individual tracks though, if you're not in for an hour, they tend to lose me.

#72. third eye blind - s/t (1997) i think there are a lot of people on this earth who would have my head for ranking this above how to leave town, but i really did enjoy this just a little bit more. it's not perfect, again, not every song hits, but when it does hit it is muscular, catchy as hell, and a good precursor of where the better side of scraggly pop-punk like PUP and knuckle puck would go in the next few decades. the guitar tones on this thing are way better than they have any right to be, too, what a satisfying flavor of crunch.

#71. molchat doma - etazhi (2018) if you liked the genuine viral hit "sudno" enough to check out the full album, you'll probably like the rest of it too. molchat doma's coldwave sound is down to a formula here, as listening to the full record repeatedly can get... well, repetitive, but each individual song IS worth it on its own. this is a really good album for playlistification, the hooks hit and the songs totally work, it's just a lot of the time they all fall into a similar niche. this is a problem that i think they fix on their much better followup, monument - which is unfortunately ineligible for this list 'cuz i listened to it right when it came out - but etazhi is more than good enough to represent the dark and gloomy fun i had with molchat doma this year.

#70. ministry - psalm 69: the way to succeed & the way to suck eggs (1991) the 90s industrial scene was a scene that i knew absolutely nothing about, and had very little motivation to get into, since i was born just a tick late to experience it and it seemed kind of like a "you had to be there" thing. it took halfway-befriending a bizarre older coworker who lived and breathed industrial music to get me to actually check some stuff out, and i'm happy to report, you don't have to have been there to get it. if you have a tolerance or love for punishing, breakneck beats, crunched-to-shit guitars, and devilishly soothsaying lyrical content, ministry is probably up your alley. definitely something to lose your mind in the pit to.

#69. hotel mira - divorce (2016) this one caught me totally off guard. soundwise they're nothing special, a pretty standard hard-rock leaning alternative group (who recently changed their name away from the turbo-cringe jpnsgrls), but their melodic sense is some of the sharpest and catchiest ive heard in this style in a long time. damn near every song on this is sticky as hell, and they cover a huge range of emotional ground, from barn-burning romantic odes, to stoner anthems, to this one, which uses a circus as a metaphor for performing in your daily life when you're suffering from depression. shoutout especially to the charisma of the singer, who doesn't have the most amazing voice in the world but makes up for it with dynamism, character, and passion to spare.

#68. the drums - abysmal thoughts (2017) jonny pierce has a remarkable gift for making teeth-rottingly sugary songs that conceal layers of eerie darkness underneath them. whether it's the oddly sinister videos, the emotional strings, the cyclical song structures, the unsettling phrasing and acidic bite on some of the lyrics... there's a lot of strange touches all over this jangly, surfy, catchy as fuck record, and it makes for a breakup album that keeps you on your toes the entire run. it's only this low because of a few unmemorable songs, but this is definitely my favorite drums album.

#67. panic! at the disco - vices and virtues (2011) there may be later panic albums that attained more commercial success by hewing more to the pop side than the oddball side, and there may be earlier panic albums that lost themselves a bit by hewing to the oddball side and getting caught in fanciful concepts that didn't give their sharp hooks enough room to breathe. for my money, though, this may just be the finest of them all, one where brendon's pure pop and vocal acrobatics share equal room with his sole remaining bandmate's punk inclinations and their shared love of theatrics, and neither buries the other. super underrated album in Serious Critical Circles.

#66. hayden thorpe - diviner (2019) look. i will be honest with you. do i miss wild beasts? yes, absolutely, they were one of my favorite bands for a long, long time, and this hayden thorpe solo album can't quite replace the absence of the full group. buuuuut..... was a huge part of why wild beasts appealed to me over other similar bands thorpe's striking and distinctive falsetto? yes. am i glad i can still scratch that itch with new stuff? holy shit, yes. this album is quiet, reflective, and emotionally open, and hayden's voice is as rich ever. i'm fine with this outcome as long as i can still hear him.

tune in next time for 65 thru 56!

[theygender]

Disabled, jobless, and losing money fast

(This post was written on 3/21 and updated along the way)

Hi, my name is Eli, I'm an autistic nonbinary lesbian (whose birthday is on April 26th!), and if you've been following my blog for any amount of time you probably know that I've been experiencing a lot of financial and health issues lately

My health issues have been figured out so they aren't as big of a concern anymore, but what is a concern is the large amount of bills I have from all the tests and emergency services I had to go through

Luckily my stepmom was able to figure out a way for me to use my mom's insurance despite the fact that I'm an adult living in another state and receiving no financial assistance from them, but the co-insurance fees still added up to a lot. $548.42 for emergency room services, $129.60 for the ambulance ride, $76.98 for "other services," $47.02 for an echocardiogram, $35.53 for a heart monitor, and $18.85 for a cardiologist consultation, which adds up to a whopping $856.40 that I cannot afford. And that's not even including all the many copays that I already paid up front

Photo proof here

I've also been without work for a long time. On January 26th I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance because I had a seizure at work as a result of my health issues combined with the physical stress of my manual labor job and my health went downhill from there. I had already been having trouble driving and working but after that point it got even worse. There were weeks where I had trouble even walking without help. There were days where I couldn't even leave my bed because I was too weak to sit up on my own. I took an unpaid medical leave after that day and officially quit my job on February 12th (I was also being harassed by a sexist/homophobic coworker, I found out that my job was lying to me about my employment status to deny me benefits, and they cut my hours by 75%)

Since then I have been searching high and low for a new job and turning up almost nothing. I've applied to so many jobs that I've lost count but so far only one has gotten back to me, and they changed their mind about hiring me three interviews in because they thought I left my last job too quickly... I haven't heard back from any other job but I'm still sending out as many applications as I can

In the meantime though I am hemorrhaging money. Unfortunately the fact that I don't have a job doesn't stop me from having to pay rent, pay my bills, pay for gas, pay for car insurance, buy groceries, and pay for my weekly appointments. I have some money saved up that I was planning on putting towards college but my bills are eating through it quickly and soon I won't have enough to pay my rent, let alone think about college

Update 4/16: I finally, finally got a job so hopefully I'll be able to pay for rent/food/etc without worrying now, but I still lost a LOT of money on necessities during the two and a half months I was job searching

My car is finally fixed after breaking down from a shot transmission and busted alternator less than 4 days after I bought it. We got some help from a family friend who was able to fix it for $500 and my mom (surprisingly) helped me afford it, but it could break down again at any time (and a tree limb fell on it yesterday but luckily there was minimal damage so)

Update 4/9: My car battery died yesterday for the third time this week so I was forced to get it replaced. Altogether it costed $120.15 and I had to beg my mom for money to cover it because I couldn't afford it. It turns out that the previous owner fucked me over by putting in a <$50 battery knowing that it wasn't the right one for the car before she sold it to me

Tldr; I've been without work since January 26th (update: finally started a new job on April 16th), I have $856.40 in medical bills, and I still have to afford my rent, bills, gas, insurance, groceries, and appointments every month despite the fact that I have no money. On top of all this, everything I own seems to be breaking

My paypal is paypal.me/gaylesbean and I have a gofundme here. Anything helps, even if it's just $1, even if it's less. If you can't donate, reblogging helps too

[lylacflower]

So it's pride month yay! 🌈

I want to take this opprotunity, even though I'm not a big account, to talk about the importance of lgbtq+ media. And also my how I figured out I was demi-pan.

Growing up I had two pairs of lesbian aunts on my dad's side. So it was normal to me for two women to be together. In fact I didn't even question why their kids were all different skin tones when both their moms were white because I'm mixed so mixed kids where normal.Anyways my aunts lived in Illinois, not Chicago more of an empty part houses were so far apart. So they went home and brought me I was eight and my great grandma along so I could hang with my favorite cousin in like a place with little to no light pollution.On my third morning there I woke up to MTV playing I kissed a girl by Katty Perry. And for the first time in my life I was like wait a minute I've never seen to women in music videos or on TV have a relationship.It was so new to me that when bleeding love came right after I was like wait why wouldn't he mind it cheating is not okay and why didn't you just be with a woman in the first place? I asked my aunt the same thing and she's not a happy person so she went straight to the point.She even told me my cousin is adopted and not blood related to me. I was more confused than before. She didn't explain to me why people hate gay people in fact I still didn't any of the terms associated with the LGBT community.

It wasn't until 2 yrs later my parents are divorced, I'm in my 2nd year at a new school and my now best introduced me to fan fiction, that I thought more about gay people . I was into mlp and youtbers so thats all I would read, I found my self interested in learning more.I remeber finding out that some of my friends were a little homophobic(not anymore) but I still didn't know what exactly that meant I just new they shouldn't dislike someone for loving who they wanted. So we debated sometimes. Which lead to me doing more research.

Cut to my first year in high school I know more about the identities and homophobia. So one night I'm watching what would you do and there's this episode with Ashley Graham. She talks about her experiences with being fat shamed and she started crying.I remeber thinking wow she gorgeous she no one should make feel that way and no body should ever go through that. But then I looked at her modeling pictures later and started crying. I had never cried over someone just because I thought they were really beautiful in + out before.So I talked to my lesbian friend about my feelings because she new more than I did, but I also explained how I never really thought about gender or looks being a big deal to me. We discussed to a point where we figured I was Pan.

So I did more research and agreed that I was pansexual but also demi romantic. I came out to my grandma first since I could just call her on the phone. She was really supportive of course her sisters are my aunts.Then I came out to my mom and sister since I live with them. They were upset that I imterupted dinner and bothered them all day over nothing big, but they were supportive. I told my step brother as well he was chill.My mom told my step dad. I'm pretty sure he's fine with me being pan. He had to explained to a homophobic coworker what it meant even though he's new to it as well and neither him or my mom understand the need for labels. Also found my mom thought I would end up likeing women.I told my dad when he picked us up one day, I choose to come out to him last because I new he would accept me. We were in the car and he was talking about marrying the women he was dating. I brought how I had picked out a dress or tux for me to wear at my wedding.He asked why a tux and I told just in cased I marry a lady, a man who wants to wear a dress, or I just don't want to wear a dress. His response was "Mya you're not gay." Which hurt me a little because my favorite person in the said this to me. But I held my ground.I said "You're right I'm pan." Then I turned up twenty one pilots. We rode in silence until we made it to UDF. He bought us ice cream. Then he told me to tell his girlfriend what I just told him. I told her what I wanted to wear at my wedding he added "she gay." I corrected "pan".I explained what it meant. She was so supportive and she told him to stop fussing. Later we met her family and I showed everyone the dress and suit. My dad liked them. This day was a little bump in our relationship but he was supportive in the end.

You're never really done comeing out I find. I usually come out when I feel the person is either homophobic and I want them to leave me alone or that it's a closeted gay person and I want them to feel comfortable with me. That's why I use labels personally.Of course I only say pansexual not demi-pansexual polyamourous that would be to much in the real world.

Now bringing this all back to media. I wouldn't have questioned things without it. But also if it was shown more often back then a lot kids wouldn't question it. It would be normal. Homophobes are afraid that kind of media will turn their kids gay.It won't, if your kid comes out after watching steven universe then they're just figuring themselves out. Not all kids will be gay, but some will and that should be okay. They need their families to be there for them.If you ever think siding with a book that keeps changing is ever a better option than making sure your kid is happy and safe, then don't have kids. They will never be as you expect them to be. You want them to be a straight a student who marries and has 3 kids + a dog. News flash They won't or they will. People are all different and unpredictable they change and that's what make humans beautiful. So stay safe if you can and have a happy pride. Also if someone sees this and needs to talk I'm open to chat.🌈

❤💛💙