#I've applied for 20+ jobs in 3 days!!

[amidalas]

soooooooooooo fucking tired of working here where im just the forgettable front desk lady secretary who is the only one capable of taking accountability and responsibility

[doumadono]

I'm thrilled to reveal my first-ever Kinktober collaboration event hosted by me, Doumadono, and my second writing blog, Thepaperpanda

After the huge success of my inaugural Kinktober event last year, conducted on ThePaperPanda, I've opted to explore a fresh concept this year. With this notion in mind, I contacted the writers I hold in high regard, inviting them to partake in a playful exploration of lust and desire. To my astonishment, the response was overwhelmingly positive, and I am deeply honored to have such exceptional writers participating in this little project. I want to express my deep thanks to all the writers who are participating. Having each and every one of you on board brings me great joy and satisfaction ♡

Essential information

♡ This Masterpost has been prepared to function as an informational leaflet, providing comprehensive details about the upcoming collaboration event

♡ The Masterlist will undergo updates as soon as the works are posted

♡ All works will be NSFW 🔞

♡ Our event-specific tag will be applied to all works: #kinktobercollab‘23

♡ This is a multifandom event

♡ Within this collaborative event, you'll discover a variety of stories, including headcanons, blurbs, drabbles, and full-length fictions

♡ The event will include various pairings (such as KiriBaku, ShigaDabi, etc.)

♡ Below, following the cut, you can find the complete list of prompts, characters, and writers participating in the Kinktober 2023 Collaboration

♡ Reblog to help spread the word!

♡ day 1 - blow job | Douma | @sanriokamabodo

♡ day 2 - overstimulation | Bakugo | @doumadono

♡ day 3 - dry humping | Atsumu Miya | @doumadono

♡ day 4 - maid | Dabi | @dabihawksluva

♡ day 5 - bukkake | KiriBaku & ShigaDabi | @doumadono

♡ day 6 - orgasm denial | Levi Ackerman | @mrskokushibo

♡ day 7 - sensory deprivation | Douma | @muzansfangs

♡ day 8 - drunk sex | Bucky Barnes | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 9 - leash | Sukuna | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 10 - shibari | Douma | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 11 - creampie | Shigaraki | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 12 - break

♡ day 13 - mirror | Hawks | @kyojurismo

♡ day 14 - daddy kink | Jake Lockley | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 15 - hair pulling | Akaza Douma Kokushibo | @sanriokamabodo

♡ day 16 - morning sex | Neuvillette | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 17 - spanking | Kotaro Bokuto | @doumadono

♡ day 18 - temperature play | Dabi | @dabislittlemouse

♡ day 19 - break

♡ day 20 - break

♡ day 21 - angry sex | Bakugo | @mrskokushibo

♡ day 22 - oral sex | Sae Itoshi | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 23 - rough sex & praise kink | Lucifer | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 24 - dirty talk & finger fucking | ShibaDabi | @lifeform286

♡ day 25 - breeding kink | Dabi | @sillakits

♡ day 26 - love triangles | KiriBaku | @kyojurismo

♡ day 27 - period sex | Bakugo | @thepaperpanda

♡ day 28 - lingerie | Shigaraki | @misafiryanki

♡ day 29 - threesome | Erasermic | @gamergirl-niffler

♡ day 30 - torture | Dottore | @gamergirl-niffler

♡ day 31 - biting | Douma | @sanriokamabodo

[emotboyswag]

The conversation of when is too late to medically transition is coming round again, which it does periodically, but I have never really resonated with the phrase "it's only too late when you're dead" before. But now I realise it is so incredibly true. It fucking sucks to wait, seeing everyone around you start medically transitioning sooner and faster than you is so disheartening. I came out at 11 and tried to start hormones, I've been on the NHS waiting list for years and I desperately tried to convince my transphobic parents, I tried to get a job to pay for it etc. So it wasn't for lack of trying that things happened as they happened and I didn't start hormones until I was 18.

For 7 years I watched everyone around me transition and it felt like I was running out of time. Whenever the conversation came around about when was too late to transition I always thought to myself "its too late for me". Still these days I feel like I'm running out of time for top surgery. I have been binding ever day for 7/8 years and I'm kinda coming to the end of my rope with it, every day it's just a little harder to bind, which is devastating. I don't know what I'll do when I can't bind anymore but for me at the moment surgery is prohibitively expensive and I'm not in a safe environment to get it. I'm looking into alternatives like trans tape (but I do have a larger chest).

ANYWAY I do understand when ur in the moment of waiting that it feels like you are running out of time, my life didn't even feel like it started until I was on testosterone. A few months in after seeing some changes and finally being convinced it was real and not just hand sanitiser I finally took my first breath tbh and I have not looked back since. But before starting it was just a waiting game and I thought I'd be too old for there to be any differences which is silly really because people start in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

Its only too late to transition when you're dead also applies to coming out. Not everyone "always knew" not everyone had the language or ability to express themselves at 3 years old, not everyone understood or thought about gender aged 3. People come out as kids and teens and young adults but people also come out at every stage of life.

I don't admire Caitlyn Jenner by any means but she was 65 when she came out

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jul/16/we-really-are-trailblazers-coming-out-as-trans-in-later-life

Article about people transitioning later in life ^

It really is only too late when you're dead

[toomuchracket]

Mads I have this concept in my mind. I see it with d word Matty. I think beginning of the relationship, maybe Matty is supposed to be away for a couple of days so girlie is having a self maintenance night. I imagine her with her hair up to have heat less curl, self tan, maybe some pimple patches. And then Matty surprises her by coming back early, maybe she's waiting for her food, she opens the door and it's Matty. She's super embarrassed/self conscious but of course he's super chill about all of it.

this inspired me to write a lil fic! seeing it as set after candlelight, but before any d words or l words were used lol. enjoy! <3

i've been dying to meet you (d word matty x reader fluff)

the doorbell rings just as you're applying your under-eye patches. you don't rush to get it, though - the drivers know to just leave your food order at the door to your flat once you've buzzed them up. god forbid anyone sees you like this, after all, in the midst of your thursday night routine; you probably look insane, wandering around in your dressing gown and slippers, hair wrapped around a pair of tights and clipped up, face covered in sheet mask and pimple patches, respectively.

but you feel good. and you'll look good tomorrow. which is imperative, given that you’ll see your boyfriend (it still feels weird being able to say that, honestly) for the first time in 20 days.

the thought of that has you slightly giddy. humming happily, you dance through the flat towards the door, only pausing in the living room to click play on the next episode of sex and the city and have a sip of your wine. the mouthwatering scent of your dinner seeps into the hallway, growing stronger as you near the door - it's never quite been so potent before, but then again, you’re fucking starving. 

still humming tunelessly, you open the door to grab your food, and come face to face with matty.

your breath catches in your throat in horror - he can't see you like this, so soon into the relationship! - but your heart swells at the sight of your boyfriend in his hoodie and sweats, your (open!) takeaway in his hands. he grins when he sees you, eyes lighting up as he takes in your appearance; you tense up in preparation of him taking the piss out of it.

he doesn't, though. “hi, baby,” matty says softly. “stole one of your prawn crackers - hope you don't mind.”

you blink. “how- how did you get up here? you didn't buzz.”

“offered to hold the door for the delivery guy and just came in after him. and then i offered to bring this up when i asked if it was for your flat and he said yeah. felt like i was 22 again, honestly, in my old job,” your boyfriend smiles. “although i can safely say i never ever delivered a takeaway to someone as hot as you back then.”

“don't make fun,” you groan, stepping to the side to let him into the flat - he kisses your temple as he passes you - and kicking the door shut. “nobody was meant to see me tonight. s'why i asked them to ring the doorbell and just leave the food without me answering.”

“i did wonder why it took you so long to get to the door, darling,” matty calls over his shoulder as he wanders into your kitchen. he furrows his brow when you walk straight past and continue into your bedroom, laying the food on the counter and following you - well, until the door closes before him. “babe? are you… annoyed at me?”

“no, i'm just putting underwear on,” comes your muffled reply, followed by the sound of a drawer opening and closing.

“don't feel you need to do that on my account, sweetheart, i insist. actually, i'm more than happy to also get naked, if you prefer.”

despite your lingering shock at seeing him, you giggle at your boyfriend’s eager tone. “no, it's alright, matty.”

“you're sure? i've already got my shirt off.”

the speed with which you open your bedroom door at that phrase is almost embarrassing. matty - shirtless, as promised - smirks when you do. “i can't believe you had no pants on when you answered the door.”

you frown, flicking him on the stomach; he just laughs and follows you into the kitchen. “shut up, i couldn't put clothes on, i had just moisturised.”

“what, your arse and all?”

“mhmm.”

“interesting,” matty smirks again. “wouldn't mind seeing that process, to be honest.”

“for fuck's sake, matthew.”

“sorry, darling, couldn't resist,” your boyfriend grins. his face softens into a more tender smile. “just missed you, s'all. hope you don't mind that i came over early and interrupted your pamper night - couldn't settle at home, knowing you were only a few miles away for the first time in weeks.”

the sweetness of his revelation goes straight to your knees; you wrap your arms around his neck to hold yourself up, and press your lips to his in a tender kiss. it deepens when matty runs his tongue across your lips, slipping it into your mouth when they open, but that's as passionate as it gets - the overwhelming emotion behind the kiss is just sheer affection.

“i missed you too,” you kiss matty's nose when you pull away. “and you're not interrupting anything, really, s'just my usual thursday night routine,” you pull the little containers of food from the bag and turn to get a plate from the cupboard. “d'you want to split this with me? i ordered too much.”

matty nods, taking the plates from you and grabbing a fork from the drawer to dish the food up. “thanks, sweetheart. so, tell me more about this thursday night thing. you do this every week?”

“yeah, whenever i'm home, just to prep for the weekend. haven't you ever noticed i always look better at work on fridays?” you grin, pouring your boyfriend a glass of wine.

“not really. i think you look beautiful every day,” matty smiles, kissing your hand after you pass him the wine. “although i have noticed your hair is usually really curly during friday meetings. i like it.”

you point to your head. “blame this.”

“serious? i thought you were going to get a blow dry after work or something.”

“nah,” you giggle. “i just go to sleep with this in. feels a bit weird, but i like the end result.”

“so do i,” matty smiles. “you're so pretty, baby.”

your cheeks burn, and you smile bashfully at the floor. “well, when i take all these weird stickers off my face, maybe.”

“no, even now,” matty gently tilts your chin up so he can look you in the eye. “you’re beautiful. my perfect girl!”

he leans down to kiss you again; you giggle as he pulls away afterwards. “oh, you're down bad bad for me, aren't you? still thinking i'm pretty even when i've got pimple patches on.”

“well, yeah, i have eyes.”

“pretty ones, at that,” you rest your hand on his jaw, and he turns to kiss it. “i'm glad you came to see me tonight. would you like to stay over?”

“if i say yes, do i get to be pampered a little bit?” matty giggles.

“oh, i'll take care of you, don’t you worry, baby.”

[penvisions]

garnish {chapter 3}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Bartender! Reader

Summary: Thoughts about Joel Miller have you desperate for something you hadn't sought out in quite a while: human touch. So when your friends suggest a girls' night out, you readily agree. It's just your luck that the very man plaguing your thoughts happens to be at the bar picked out for the night.

Word Count: 6.5k

Warning: alcohol consumption, drunken interactions, creepy flirthing, unwanted attention, fighting, bar fights, nonconsensual touching (not joel), protective joel, injuries, blood, degrading talk, power dynamics, abuse of power, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, smoking, cigarettes, joel miller is a conflicted man, kissing, drunk makeout session

A/N: this story is literally keeping me from climbing the walls in my apartment, i've applied to over 20 jobs the last few days and made even more calls to see if places were hiring. the issue isn't finding something, it's finding something willing to pay me for my experience and skill set. but i found out a local coffee shop is opening a new location and i should be getting a call back with interview times for that today, they need cooks and bakers and i can definitely do that

ao3 || series masterlist || main masterlist

It was Wednesday, your normal day off for the week, but Joel had scheduled you two hours of prep, the shift reminder notification early that morning. It had woken you up, having allowed yourself to sleep in after the rather busy shift the night before. It had been a record-breaking sales day, the concert downtown only blocks away bringing increased foot traffic. It had been a week and a half since that terrible Sunday shift where you had finally given into hunger and had ordered food only to be told you had messed up. You had gone hungry that night, nothing in your kitchen at home.

You hadn’t spoken to Joel beyond confirming that dishes were ready to go out and helping to take updated pars out to the servers’ board for them to be aware of throughout services. Lists were left atop the sandwich prep station, and you completed it every shift you had before making your way toward the bar. They were in his writing, some things new with recipe page numbers for the guidebook stored on the expo line.

You had completed a few things on your list and were moving onto the next thing when his booming voice sounded from the walk in.

“Where are the rest of the yellow onions?”

Everyone in the kitchen looked over their stations, including you. The yellow onions you had chopped up for the red lentil soup were sitting in the pot you had atop a portable burner on the left side of your station. Cutting board beside it as you chopped the carrots that were to be added next.

“Whose used yellow onions today?” His brow was furrowed, lips downturned as he gazed around the kitchen. The three confirmations of ‘here, chef’ had him moving intimidatingly through the space, the first two seemed to come out of their interaction unscathed. But you felt like you weren’t about to be so lucky.

“When did you start the prep for these? They look nearly caramelized already.” He stirred the wooden spoon resting in the deep pot, getting a feel on the state of the onions cooking inside. You had stepped aside, hands behind your back as you let him inspect your station. He turned to watch as you answered, professional air about you as you briefly met his eyes with your own. You spoke in an even tone, worried about how he was going to react. He had already proven himself comfortable with cutting you off and denying you food that you had paid with your own money. And that was when you hadn’t actually done anything to warrant that type of reaction.

“I started this half an hour ago, gathered them from the walk in as I gathered everything else, chef.”

“Did you happen to notice that you grabbed the last ones? There are none in the box, left empty on the shelf. That you too? Don’t understand the way things work here, do ya?” He turned with a sharpie held tight between his fingers and he jutted it at the dray erase board beside the walk-in door where things low in stock were to be written down. “In case anyone is unclear on how this kitchen operates: things low in stock are to be written on that board there BEFORE we run out. Boxes or containers that are emptied while grabbing items are to be discarded or put into dish, not left on the shelf for the next person to find.”

“Yes, chef!” The chorus rang out evenly throughout the room.

He turned back to the portable burner and clicked it off, turning the nob off and the whoosh of gas going out was loud in the slight hum of busy work that the kitchen returned to once he had finished speaking.

“Why don’t you go clock yourself out.”

“Chef, there-“ You tried to talk to him, let him know that you had left nearly three pounds of onions left in the box. It wasn’t empty when you left the walk-in. You had been too wrapped up in your work to notice who else had gone in afterwards, though you wouldn’t have sold them out to begin with.

“Go. Clock out, now.”

“Yes, chef.” You wouldn’t raise your face to meet his look. Trying to keep your anger in check lest you give him a real reason to go off on you. Instead, you moved to grab your sharpie laid out over the recipe binder. The small field notes pad of paper beside it with the notations for a double batch written neatly on the page it was open to. Joel blocked your movement with a sidestep, his broad figure blocking your reaching hand.

“Now means now.”

“My-“

“Is now mine. Go.”

Your eyes flicked up and you tried your best not to pin him with the annoyance that was humming through your very blood. This man was nothing but a nuisance, you had only agreed to come into the kitchen because they were short staffed. But it was degrading work, to be around this man who deemed nearly everything below par and had extreme standards for the way things were to be done. The two instances of common decency he had offered you had to have been a fluke, maybe he had been extra tired and worn out those days, didn’t mean to let his guard down. Either way, you were quickly getting over the fluctuating temperatures of his attitude. At first it had been jarring, but you weren’t about to let it get to you any longer. You were determined to face it head on or dish it back out in what ways you could safely do so without risking your job.

You were lagging outside of the back door, standing with the bar back, whose name was Millie and a server who were both on break. You each had a cigarette in hand, swapping stories about the worst pick up lines that you had been approached with. You had removed your apron, it was folded carefully in your crossbody bag to be washed when you got home, simple black long sleeve Henley along with it. That left you in your black denim with that kitschy cute heart belt buckle and a dark green racerback. You had left your hair up in its normal fashion of low buns on either side of your head, short black beanie atop your head.

“You gotta admit,” Your laughter ringing through the air accompanied by the giggles of the two girls in front of you. “He was honest, what better way to start a conversation, though I could’ve done without the-“

All the laughter cut off as the backdoor opened and Joel appeared with a bag of trash. The two younger girls snubbed out their waning cigarettes and scurried inside, deeming breaktime over with his sudden arrival. You watched as Joel tossed the bag over the lip of the nearby dumpster before removing his gloves and tossed them in as well. He removed a pack of his own cigarettes from the breast pocket of his chef’s coat, and you could see the spiral wiring of your notebook peeking out over the top of it. His eyes took in the way your lips moved as you took a long drag from your own, bringing your phone out to ignore him.

The snick snick snick of his lighter resulted in a deep grunt, and you looked at him out of the corner of your eye. The cigarette he had pulled out was between his plush lips and his dead lighter was being pushed back into the pocket of his chef’s pants. When his eyes flicked to you, your attention snapped back to your phone. He cleared his throat, and you cocked an eyebrow up at the sound, turning to give him the barest hint of attention. He was leaning heavily against the side of the building, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he regarded you.

“Do you-

“Nope.” You took the last drag before snuffing out your own cigarette and tossed the butt into the pail beside the door. You started walking toward the parking lot, your truck beeping with a press of the control in your hand. The strap of your bag over your shoulder caught the man’s eye as you began to move away.

“You’re just gonna walk off from your shift?”

“Today’s my day off, chef.” You didn’t look back at him but could tell that your words had affected him.

“Shit, I-“ He straightened up and moved away from the wall, taking a step toward you, his hands coming out from his pockets to take the unlit cigarette from between his lips.

“Don’t worry about it. Now you don’t have to worry me using up all your inventory, right?” You pulled another cigarette out from the pack still in your hand along with your phone and brought a lighter out from your own front pocket. You took a long drag and blew the smoke in his direction over your shoulder, aware of his gaze on your back and you hopped into the cab of the truck.

The next day, everything that was on your prep list had been completed and the one for today had instructions on where to find the mise for each recipe. Everything was already prepared for you and were just combining and finishing the last few steps of each one.

“Hi there, what can I get started for you?” You placed a coaster down on the bar top before a glass of water, eyes coming up as you smiled at the new guest. Your smile faltered a little when the face of your biological evolution professor beamed back at you, but you didn’t let your surprise show other than that.

“I heard a rumor that the bartender here made the best whisky drinks. Here to test out that theory.” His voice was smooth, something you had often spoken aloud to your friends that made the class lectures rather easy. His baritone deep and the ways in which he spoke with such passion and interest in his material was an added bonus to understanding the class subject matter than most.

“Let’s get to testin’, what your preferred whiskey?” You busied yourself making the drinks that had been rung up the last couple of minutes, the man having sat to the side of the well in the last seat along the right side of the bar.

“I’m a Bullet man, myself. But I’m up for whatever you think is best.”

“Oh, well, of course the one I think is best is our top shelf.” You tossed the man a playful smirk, aware that it was a possible line being crossed. But neither of you were on campus, you were at work, and he was one of your bar guests. His laugh was beautiful as he knocked his head back, the line of his throat catching shadows from the strong lights over the bar.

“I actually prefer Woodford, it’s not too expensive but its leagues above some of the stuff on the shelves like Evan Williams.”

He was funny, quick-witted. Matching your jokes as fast as he could. Bringing up documentaries he had recently seen.

“No, but like that’s the thing! There’s been no discovery of this caliber ever before, its unprecedented in nearly every aspect.” You were making a round of lemon drops for a group of girls on the other end of the bar, loading up the shaker and then securing the smaller component over it before lifting your hand and shaking it. As you did so, you reached over to grab the coup glasses you would need for the pour. A figure appeared at the well, taller than the servers and barback, who had gone on break a few minutes ago.

You glanced over at Joel, the man had his hands atop the plastic mats, eyes taking in the organized garnish container and the jars of small straws and picks for the servers to complete their drinks. You nodded at him to let him know you saw him and would be with him as soon as possible before you held the shaker tight in one hand and used the heel of your palm to knock the smaller part loose. Your hand was steady as you parted the two components enough to strain the bright pink liquid from the ice, not looking up from it.

“To actually have fossil evidence of not just any Hominid species, but of a newly discovered hominid species, with a crafted tool in their fuckin’ hand! Like, I got chills, and I was pretty sure my attention was plastered to the screen. Didn’t even touch the food I made that night. I immediately started just taking notes throughout the whole thing.”

“To be fair, it was just as intriguing to find out that the child’s body had been in the cavern wall, not even properly buried like the rest of the bodies in the Dinaledi chamber.”

“Oh my gosh, I know! That opens a whole plethora of questions about what that child was even doing, was he the one carving those symbols into the wall, was he alone- hold on one moment.” You moved over to the other side of the bar, two coup glasses cradled carefully in each hand, and you took the four of them over to the girls who had been watching you make them. They were all bright smiles and excited giggles as you told them you used Meyer lemons for a sweeter drink and added a bit of cherry juice for the color.

“She’s a busy one, guests seem to love her.” Your professor smiled over at Joel, who was watching you flit around behind the bar much like he had been admiring all night. Joel’s eyes snapped to the man beside him and he just nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

“She knows what she’s doing.”

“Not much of a talker in class, but her papers are beyond wonders. The way her mind makes connections is amazing. And the way she uses her words so carefully, so eloquently.”

“You go to school with her?” Joel questioned, mind going over the small interactions he’s had with you recently. You tended to stutter over your words around him, as if you were hesitant to speak in the first place. He didn’t like the comparison, now, seeing you in your element and recalling the way you had always been professional around him. But this, you behind the bar and completely enthralling as you entertained so many people and mixed drinks like it was second nature. Firing back jokes and conversation as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Your laughter ringing through the space of the dining room. He felt the pull of a frown, not liking the shift he was causing in you lately.

“Oh no, school is way behind me. I’m her professor.” The grunt Joel made seemed to display his trepidation at the revelation and the man was quick to jump into defense mode. “It’s not what it looks like, she’s at work and I’m just here on a friend’s word that it’s a good place. Didn’t even know she was here until I sat down.”

“Sure.” Joel said in a tone that said he didn’t buy a word the man was saying.

You were back with them by the well, professional smile in place as you addressed Joel. You were busy tucking a receipt and some bills of money into your server’s book, secured underneath the counter and atop a cooler beside the drink station.

“Yes, chef?”

“Bourbon for the steak sauce. And whatever amber you have on tap.” He tried to muster up the courage to lighten up his face from a frown, but the way your eyes flashed away from him told him it didn’t work.

“Heard, chef.”

You busied yourself with retrieving the bottle of bourbon he had asked you to tack onto your order. He hadn’t wanted to deal with the liquor vendors himself and sure you would find a better deal than him anyway.

“It’s gonna be a 6.7 percent amber, it’s smooth and the notes of pecan to cut the malt. Only one I have on tap at the moment, that okay?” You talked over your shoulder, picking up on the waves and attention from the other patrons of the bar top, reaching to get more than the one glass needed for just Joel’s request. You poured two blondes, an IPA, and a stout and placing them in front of those who had been nursing them all night before going to pull the tap for the amber. It poured for maybe two seconds before it sputtered and compressed air forced itself out of the spicket.

“I told Millie to change out the keg last night, I’m sorry, chef. It’s gonna take me a minute before I can step away and replace it.” Your brows were furrowed in a worried expression, not wanting this to be something he used against you. You were really hoping to get something to go later, needing to finish a paper that was due tomorrow before class. He must’ve clocked the rising panic in your eyes because he squared his shoulders before shoving off the drink station.

“I gotcha, which label am I looking for?”

“Oh, um, Riverbank Red.”

“Heard.” He turned to move toward the small walk-in just behind the bar, the heavy door opening easily underneath his hands. You could hear him rustling around inside, the hiss of him removing the empty keg and then the clunk of him placing the new one in its place. The two knocks on the wall alerted you that it was all set and you pulled the tap, compressed air working its way through the hook up before foam began to stream. Letting it run for a few seconds, you turned around and grabbed a fresh pint glass for Joel’s drink. You used the previous one and filled it, cutting off the tap and took a long pull from it.

When you lowered the glass after your drink, you found two pairs of eyes on you. You looked between your professor and Joel, both on each side of the corner of the bar. Some of the foam from the outside of the glass when the tap died out had run down your chin and settled on your chest. The cut of your shirt was a little low, your simple, silver chain necklace catching the soft glow of the bar lights much like the foam.

You avoided meeting either of their gazes as you poured a second pint for Joel and walked it over. Before you could place it atop the drink station beside the bottle of bourbon already waiting, he reached out for it and his thick fingers brushed yours. His beautiful, brown eyes flashed down and caught yours, full of something you didn’t recognize, prompting you to pull your hand away as you struggled to catch your breath.

His teeth clicked with the clenching of his jaw, his hands tightening around items he came over for and he turned to make his way back to the kitchen.

“He’s not much of a charmer, is he?”

“He just has an asshole voice, don’t mind him.” With a somewhat fake smile plastered on your face, you turned back to your professor and started making him another drink as more rang through the printer. “Now, what were the most concrete dates we had archived for allusions to tool use?”

The alcohol in your system was washing your stress and anxieties away. Moving your body along to the song that was bumping from the speakers of the bar that held a small dance floor. Your friends’ bodies were moving alongside you, along with you, tangling with your own in a heady and exciting way. It was such a relief to not have any worries at the moment, only blipping thoughts of ‘oooh this is a good song’ and ‘another drink, yes please’.

You were taking a break, downing a glass of water and ordering a round of shots for everyone. There were five of you altogether and they huddled around you as you passed one to each of them, smiling widely at the bartender across from you. He just chuckled with a shake of his head and moved on down the bar to help out two waiting men. If you had been paying attention, you would’ve recognized one in a particular. But you were too preoccupied with the rather loud cheers the girls were trying to agree on before someone finally just shouted, ‘drink up, bitches!’ and you were downing the shot along with them.

The burn of it down your throat was anticipated and you gathered the empty glasses from them while they sputtered and coughed, not able to handle it as well as they normally could with already being more than tipsy. You were leaning over the bar a little, on your tip toes to place them atop the washer on the plastic pad you knew the bartender liked to gather used cups before loading them up.

A large hand found the exposed small of your back, your crop tank top allowing for the skin to be on display. It was dangerously close to the waist of your skirt, and you jerked back with a start, face contorting into one of anger.  

“Hey, who the fuck do you think you are?” You settled back on your heels, the height of them making you a little taller than normal. Your eyes swept over the crowd around the bar and found that your friends had returned to the dance floor, leaving you to deal with this on your own. Not that you couldn’t, but it would’ve been nice to have a witness. The man in question was rather tall, blonde, nice suit, but his forwardness left little to be desired.

“Just helpin’ to hold ya steady, looked like you were about to flip over the bar, little lady.”

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Didn’t mean to offend-“

“Yeah, well, ya did. Don’t fuckin’ touch me, got it?”

“C’mon now. You were gettin’ all close and personal with your friends, maybe I wanted a feel for myself.”

The man stepped closer to you, and you could smell the alcohol on his breath, cheap and cloying as it wafter over into your personal space. His hands were coming up as if he were going to wrap them around your hips and pull you to him. His eyes were raking slowly up and down your body, taking in the short skirt and crop tank top you had deemed appropriate for the night. The cleavage peeking out of the top of your shirt glistening with the glitter body spray you had used before leaving your apartment.

“Leave me the fuck alone.” You spat, stepping away from the man only to collide with another’s back who had been passing by.

“Watch where-“ Joel of all people turned around, a scowl on his face. You felt like a deer caught in headlights, totally caught off guard that your boss was here in the same bar. The beer in his grip had sloshed over his fingers when you slammed into him and it was dripping to the already sticky floor. There was another man beside him, similar height and build. He had the same brown eyes and you realized they must be related.

Joel’s eyes took in the slightly panicked air about you, gaze moving behind you to see the man you had been fleeing from in such a haste.

“He touch you?”

“Don’t know if that’s any of your business, old man.” The man stepped forward and hooked a finger on the strap of your crossbody, pulling you backwards and you stumbled at the bold move. “We’re just two friends having an intimate-“

You maneuvered your stumble into a pivot and raised your clenched fist to deck the guy across the face, cutting off his words. You felt the crack of his nose beneath your knuckles, the action splitting two of them open. There was a gasp and a bark of laughter from behind you.

“I said, don’t fuckin’ touch me.” You sneered, anger lighting you up from the inside out. You didn’t pay the dull ache of your new injury any mind as you brought your arm back closer to your body, but you did flinch when the man’s hands shot out and his nails scratched along your neck where he had tried to grab you.

Joel was moving with a grunt of effort before you could fully register that the man had lunged at you.

Body slamming into his and pinning him face down against the bar with a hand tight on the back of his neck. His forehead had cracked against it, and he had shouted out weakly at the pain the action must’ve caused. His arms were twisted behind up, Joel’s right one holding them tight by the wrists. As he did so, the man with Joel had pulled you away from the confrontation, hands far more gentle with you than the man now pinned to the bar.

“You okay?” Joel looked back at you, his eyes hard and his expression schooled into one of control despite the way he had just cracked that man’s head on the top of the bar. When you didn’t answer, he looked to the man who had pulled you further out of harms way. “Tommy, she okay?”

There was no time to answer him, the bartender was out from behind the bar in a second, security that checked identification alongside him and they were forcefully guiding the man toward the door. He was putting up a rather good effort, but the two men were stronger than him. He turned with one last look over his shoulder and spat at you. The spray of it startled you and the tears that formed were angry, wet, ugly things.

Suddenly, the girls were swarming you, all talking at the same time and guiding you toward the bathroom to help get you somewhere safe to gather yourself. You let them guide you away from Joel and what you assumed was his brother, not glancing over at them lest they see more of the tears than they already had.

The bathroom muffled the booming music enough to hear your own thoughts, the lights a little brighter to help you process what had just happened. The girls were dabbing wet paper towels underneath your eyes to wipe your smeared makeup, to sooth the scratch marks on your throat. They plopped you down on one of the chairs off in the corner, removing your bag from around your body and just allowed you to take however long a moment you needed. Someone fetched a bottle of water from somewhere and you gulped down half of it without taking a breath. Your hands were shaking and you lifted your hand up to inspect the damage on your knuckles.

Someone gasped and it startled you, making you jump in your seat and then the bartender was there with a first aid kit.

“Me’n my boyfriend kicked him out, some cops were walking down the way and he taken to the station.”

He said as he kneeled in front of you, tearing open a package of sterile gauze. He dabbed some disinfectant on it before gently taking your hand and patting it across the top of your hand.

You found yourself back up at the bar, seated in a stool with your bag laid over the back of it. Your friends had checked on you again and pouted at your insistence of not going to another place with them. They wished you a good rest of the night and told you to check in with them when you got home, you returned their kind words.

You downed the last dregs of your cocktail, a vodka something, and gathered your keys from your purse.

Heels heavy, you stumbled over your own feet as your head swam and the lights of the bar flared. You reached out for the back of the stool but ended up grabbing onto a man’s arm. It was warm and strong and white-hot desire raced down your spine at the contact. Bringing your face up to apologize, it was lost in your throat as you realized it was none other than Joel Miller you were holding onto. You stepped back, turning from him to properly retrieve your bag this time.

“You’re not the boss of me here, lemme go.” You struggled against the hold he had on your upper arm, where he had turned you to face him. He seemed to realize you were uncomfortable and he dropped his hand, allowing you to turn back to face the bar. Jerry looked from your annoyed expression to the man behind you, taking in the situation and trying to determine how best to deal with it.

“Hey, man, good on you and your brother for helping us get that guy earlier, but I don’t think she likes the attention.”

“She’s drunk, you really gonna let her leave alone?”

“She comes here a lot, knows her limits and she’s got me to look out after her.”

“She’s drunker ‘n you think.”

“I am not.”

“Darlin-“

“I am not your anything, Mr. Miller.” You turned back on him with such a glare he was surprised you could hold the look in your state. He could see the way your head was lolling with every turn, your movements loose and uncoordinated. “This is a public space, I am not your prep cook and you are not my boss. You can’t lord over me and refuse me food here like at work. And I want…I want French fries.”

You stumbled as you turned around to face him again with heat behind your words. Eyes flaring in anger as he tried to reach for you again. Your body sung where one of his arms wrapped around the small of your back, helping you to keep upright as your balance faltered. The heels weren’t helping. You wished you had just stayed home, the sting of being ditched by your friends, the sting of his treatment at work and the workload of your classes, all of it was a lot and tonight was supposed to help you get out of your head, not make things worse.

“You-“ You swayed on your feet, leaning back from him slightly. The length of his forearm supporting you as you did so and stabbed a finger into his chest to emphasize your next words. Ignoring the way that his chest was firm and hot through the fabric of his shirt, he would probably have chest hair and it would be as peppered as his scruff… “You’re mean.”

His brother was doing his best to smother his laughter behind a hand, but you could hear it and you pouted even more.

“Your little brother is laughing at me and you’re a meanie.” You shoved away from him again, the warmth of his arm gone from your back as you turned around to retrieve your bag from the back of your stool. “I’m leaving.”

“The hell you are, you can’t walk, let alone drive.”

“Don’t need help. I’ve been on my own for as long as I can remember.”

“Sweetheart, you-“ Tommy tried to step in, hoping that maybe he could help out the situation. It was clear they were both worried but you were just being so stubborn. Jerry was right, you didn’t like the attention, you didn’t like getting felt up and your boss had been there to witness the aftermath. That he was still there and seeing you in such a way.

“I’m not your sweetheart.” Your voice held more bite than you thought you were capable of in your current state. Tommy stepped back with his hands held up in surrender. His brows furrowed as he shared a look with his brother.

“Lemme call you a cab, please.”

“No, I don’t need anything from you. You made it clear how you feel about me, barking at me all day when I’m helping you with your kitchen because the staff don’t wanna show up and deal with you.”

“Oof, that’s a hard hit, brother.” Tommy reached over to help you drape your purse strap over your shoulder, the crossbody secure over your form and he stepped away as you pushed at his hands much like you had done with Joel. “You really did a number on her.”

“Lemme just, please, lemme take you home. Need to make sure you get home okay.” His voice was pitched quiet, leaning a little into your space with an open expression. His hands were at his sides, not reaching out to touch you again, his fists clenched at his sides. Your eyes lingered on the way his mouth formed around the words and you swallowed the harsh ones you were about to fire back at him. All you could manage was a small nod.

That’s how you found yourself in the passenger side of his own truck, waiting in a short line of a drive through.

Once your fries, and some for him too, had been passed through the window, he was following the spoken instructions to your house. Watching the way you watched things pass by the window as you munched on the salty treat in your lap out of the corner of his eye. The dried blood on your split knuckles making his stomach lurch as he thought of that man putting his hands on you and the look on your face when you tried to flee. The look on your face when you had run into him, eyes wide and panicked.

You had calmed down, now in a lazy mood after the adrenaline packed events of the night.

“You do know what you’re doin’, just don’t think I’ve ever said it out loud ‘fore now.”

“Hmm?” You rolled your head along the back of the seat to face him, bringing a fry up to the seal of your mouth as you did so. He had to look away from the sight, your entire body and demeanor relaxed. Your expression was so open and curious, eyes soft as you looked over at him. Containing none of the animosity and worry he seemed to pull from you at work as you looked him over. He was in a pair of dark wash jeans that his thighs looked good in as he drove, a simple white Henley for a shirt. It allowed for the tan of his skin to pop, the grays that speckled his hair looking good in the lights of passing cars and lamps.

“You-uh-you, nevermind.” Joel’s deep voice wavered before he cut off, not being able to handle the earnest gaze you had pinned him with, his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

“Mkay, whatever you say.” You turned back to look out with window, letting him know that your complex was around the corner.

He parked along the curb beside the gate that opened up into the parking lot. Watching him as he hopped out of the cab and toward your side of the vehicle, his expression hard to read. He was opening the door and leaning into the can to undo your seatbelt. Not wanting to risk you trying to do it and spill your fries, knowing you would probably tear up at the mishap should it occur. He said as much under his breath when you asked him what he was doing and you couldn’t help the giggles that bubbled up from your chest as you agreed with him, it would be tragic.

Once unbuckled, he reached for the fries in your hand and put them back in the bag they came in, tucking it into your purse that was still across your body.

“Will you let me help you step down?”

At your nod, his hands came around your waist, the wideness of them allowing his fingers to span across your back in a tantalizing way. He lifted you a little, holding most of your weight as you hopped down from the cab. His arms tensed around you as you felt yourself wobble, forgetting you were in heels for the entirety of the drive. Another round of giggles bubbled up and you found yourself leaning more into Joel’s space. His body was warm where you were pressed up against his front, the scent of cedar stronger tonight than it had been all those nights ago when he insisted on making you food to take home.

“I wish you liked me.” You spoke quietly into his neck, lips brushing against the skin there as you did so.

You felt his fingers twitch where they held onto you before you were pulled back a little so he could look down at you.

“Darlin’, I do like you, that’s the problem.”

“Doesn’t have to be.” You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

“You’re not in the right state to be talkin’ about this right no-“

Surging up, you smothered the words from his lips with your own. His arms tightened around you, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you back. As if he was unable to stop himself despite the words he had just been ushering. It was all teeth and tongue, sparking heat that pooled low in your middle. A whimper sounded in the air, Joel swallowing it as he licked into your mouth. Your nails dug into the curls at the base of his neck and you pulled.

A deep groan rumbled through his chest and you pulled away to catch your breath, looking at the face of the man who had been consuming your thoughts for weeks now.

He looked back at you, took in the way your eyes were blown out and dilated, the puffiness of your swollen lips, the quick breaths you were taking to recover from his mouth on yours, the heat that he was causing was all consuming and you knew that he could feel through your skin underneath his hands. He was swooping back down to capture your lips, his hands moving up to cradle your face in his hands as he did so and you melted at the action.

Consciousness hit you like a jolt and you were shooting up from your bed. The covers fell from you to pool around your waist, and you looked around the room, nothing looked out of place but something felt off, so incredibly off. Your bag was on the bedside table, an empty greasy bag crumpled beside it and your lips were tingling with the memory of pressing them against someone else’s.

“Oh, fuck.”

You had drunkenly kissed your boss.

And he had kissed you back.

previous chapter || next chapter

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 3

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

Warnings: Violence mentioned and referenced, not written. Insecure reader. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 2 -- Part 4

Series Masterlist

Ransom was not having a good day. Truth be told, he hadn't had a good day since Steve punched his stomach over a week ago. The writer's block had hit harder than usual. Many applicants for the Assistant position were garbage, completely upsetting his idea that you just needed to google the right answers.

He was starting to realize that Fatso, as he had taken to calling her in his head, was able to help him through his writing blocks because she had the context of the other questions, some rough draft information, and she'd include ways to use her research into the story. Maybe he just needed to actually hire someone from the "competent" file and try from there?

Problem was, time was an issue. His writer's block had kicked in hard and his publisher was getting more impatient about updates. He spent so much time just staring at his computer.

He was startled out of his contemplation by a phone call. If it was his publisher he'd just ignore it but the Caller ID showed "Steve Rogers".

Ransom answered, "Rogers! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Where the hell are you Drysdale?" Steve was quiet growling into the phone. Indicating he was around others.

"What do you mean?"

"The damned Stark party? Raising funds for Rhodes's campaign?!" Ransom could swear he heard Steve's teeth grinding. "You're supposed to be here chatting with Mrs. Devereaux. Buttering her up to at least not donate to Wilford?!"

"Shit," Ransom jumped up and ran towards his closet. "Tell her I'll be there in 20 minutes. If she needs an excuse, I was writing up a storm. I'll make it up to her by naming a character after her or something."

"Just. Get. Here." Steve hung up.

Yeah, Ransom was not having a good day.

Your life was returning to some sense of normalcy. The crutches were a pain but, thankfully, you didn't have a lot of places to go. You wanted to get back to working as quickly as you could, if only to feel like you were actually earning some of the money you'd been given.

But you'd kept your promise to be safe, and allow yourself to heal. You did your best to keep within the movement restrictions you were given. Part of you was still waiting for that hospital bill. Yes, Curtis, Dr. Beck, even Jake and Jefferson all said it was taken care of but part of you still waited for that dreaded notice of nonpayment.

Thankfully the cybercafe wasn't too far and you were able to convince the J's (as they told you to call them) that it was the perfect distance for your needed exercise and movement and you'd sit at the cafe long enough to rest for the return trip. You were happy to get back to tutoring the girls in the afternoons. Your mornings were spent applying for other jobs.

One morning your applications were interrupted by Jake.

"Hey, Y/N, this is Hal," Jake gestured to the handsome, shirt-haired man, wearing a too small shirt, next to him. "He's here to work with you towards getting his GED.”

"Oh, yes," you perk up. "Curtis mentioned another possible student." You reach out your hand and Hal, grinning even wider, shakes it.

"It's mighty kind of you to agree to this," he began. "I've been meaning to fill in that gap on my resume for some time.”

"Well I'm happy to help you with that. Please, have a seat so we can get started?”

Hal pulls out the nearest chair and turns it so that he sits on it backwards, his muscly arms resting on the back of the chair.

"So, is this a time that works for you," you ask. "I've got a pretty open schedule so your time preferences are get priority.”

"Well," he hesitates, "my schedule is pretty all-over-the-place. Is there any chance we could take it a week at a time?”

"Sure," you affirm. "As long as you give me notice so I'm not sitting here doing nothing.”

"Yes, ma'am," Hal nods. "I'm not in the habit of leaving pretty girls wanting." He gives a wink but you drop your eyes and sigh.

"Hal," you scold. "I'm going to guess you're the type to hit on anything that breathes?”

Clearly taken aback by your tone Hal straightens in his seat. "No," he denies. "Maybe. I swear I was just trying to compliment you.”

You pause your comeback and take a deep breath instead. "I suppose there is a difference," you concede. “Just please be careful with both of those around me. I am not a "pretty girl" and I do not appreciate being addressed as such.”

Hal's eyebrows furrow in confusion so you continue, "let's just keep the compliments related to our work? Please? I'd always prefer being smart or nice to being pretty." You give him a small smile and he visibly relaxes.

"Sure thing, Teach," he says. "So, where should we start?”

Curtis was cleaning up the interrogation room after Barnes and Fowler's latest “message” to Rumlow’s crew. They had already taken the body to drop it off on Rumlow's front door, Curtis would make sure all evidence was removed from the room. It was ugly work but maybe, just maybe, Rumlow would stop trying to push his drugs and thugs in their territory.

He was finishing up when he got a text from Jefferson saying Hal’s first session went well. He normally doesn't need these kinds of updates from the legitimate side of things but he found himself rather invested in your progress. You were unusual. A puzzle he wanted to figure out.

Or so he kept telling himself to explain why he was thinking about you so much. You’d shown yourself to be sweet and patient with others but he remembers the fire with which you spoke to him. He almost felt like a moth drawn to your light but he had to keep himself in check. For now it was enough to know you were doing well and helping his family.

At least until he got the follow up text from Jefferson saying, “Ran is looking for Teach. Ok to share info?”

Curtis felt his jaw tighten. The pompous ass had fired someone for taking a bullet. He didn't want him anywhere near you. He was sure you wouldn't want to see Ransom, either. Jake had told him you'd blocked your former boss’s number and his emails would go straight to spam. He texted back a simple “no.” Let the asshole suffer.

Part 2 -- Part 4

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[akirakirxaa]

UPDATE: I am closing my commissions for the time being, I will be starting my day job next week along with FFXIVWrite being next week. Rest assured that all commissions I currently have will be completed, but until I'm out of training for my day job I don't feel comfortable taking more and ending up with longer wait times. Thank you. <3

Hey everyone. I am really struggling right now. As many of you that have been around know, I made a big move to another state a couple of months ago. I'm so excited to be here, but my husband only just got a new job and I'm still out of a traditional job, and between us we currently have eight dollars to our name until we get paid next month. For full transparency, the most urgent bills are:

Car insurance: $180 Cat food: $25 Dog food: $25

If you would like to donate to help out, my p@ypal is @/LauraWrites without the slash, or if you're not comfortable sending directly through paypal, you can reach out to my Kofi [link], though I do ask if you do to please use paypal there too, as it processes payments much more quickly. The animal food money I need within the next couple of days, and the car insurance needs to be paid by the 17th or my husband won't be able to get to said new job.

However, I'm not here to only beg for money for nothing in return, but to offer some new commission slots for a few different things. So, let's get into it! Beta Reading/Editing:

I do indeed have a degree in writing (particularly journalism but between you and me? Almost the same thing just with some extra media related classes) and I would love to help you with your project! If you'd like me to look over your transcript, my rates are as follows:

Proofreading (grammar only): $15 per 1000 words Content editing (grammar + feedback and editing on content): $40 per 1000 words

Gear Upscales

Frustrated cause your favorite niche piece of gear doesn't match the body you normally use? I can help with that! I can also apply the Chocochomps teeth resource to your head of choice if your favorite hasn't been ported yet publicly. At this time I will only offer upscales on chest pieces as they are both what I have the most experience with and what I've had the most success with. I will also not port anything to the Eve body. Sorry. No IVCS/Skelomae conversions either, as I do not currently know how to do that.

Chestpiece Gear Upscale: $20-$40 depending on the complexity of the piece, contact for more details Chocochomps Application: $10, please have in mind how sharp or dull you want the various teeth. Additional teeth options on the same head will add an extra $5 per teeth set (eg, you got flat teeth but you also want vampire teeth, that would be $15)

Single Pose Gpose:

The classic and my most popular commission choice is back! For ease due to my new variety of commissions possibly taking up more time, I will now require a .chara or a .mcdf file in order to pose your character. If you are console or do not want to run the crime tools, a friend can also grab .chara files for you using a software such as Anamnesis. Please keep in mind that any NPC that didn't appear in DT did not get the new face bones, so facial posing for other NPCs will be limited.

GIF set:

My most popular unofficial option, I am finally codifying making a GIF with your very own characters! Like the single pose, I will require an .mcdf or a .chara file, so please have that ready. Due to the limitations of some tools still being offline, I will be at the mercy of vanilla animations + whatever exists as a working mod.

Single Character, 1 GIF: $20 Single Character, 3 GIFs: $50 Additional Characters: +$10

You can find my commission section on Kofi [here] or you can also message me directly either on Kofi or here on Tumblr. (Or if you're in one of the discords I frequent, you're welcome to send me a discord message.) Due to the subjective nature of upscales you will always have to message me first for that, since I'll have to look at the piece in question to determine the price.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to hear from you soon! <3

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

A Star in the Sky | mingi x reader

[a Christmas drabble]

Pairing: song mingi x reader

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 1147 words

a/n: a little Christmas gift from me to you for all the support and love I've received on my story Want you Back. <3 thank you for it all and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and New Year!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While the snow fell gracefully and covered the city in a beautiful white fleece, you peered out your apartment’s window with a warm cup of hazelnut coffee in hand reminiscing about the past year. 

This was your first Christmas away from family. You moved to Seoul, South Korea for a marketing and public relations job at KQ entertainment, six months after ending a situationship that left you feeling drained and exhausted. Being in your 20s brought forth a fair amount of things to think about and consider. 

The societal expectation of being in a relationship and by extension, being married by now and starting a family weighed heavily on you. Coupled with having a few failed dating attempts, you sometimes wondered if something was wrong with you — were you unworthy of being loved or were you being too difficult with your standards? But just like a boomerang, you always circled back to the same conclusion: nothing is wrong with you, you are worthy and you weren’t difficult for having certain standards and expectations. If they could have expectations of you, then you could do the same.

So, feeling for a change of scenery and pace, you decided to apply for foreign jobs out of curiosity with no set expectations. And it seems fate was on your side, one day while checking your email, you received an offer from KQ Entertainment who generously offered and assisted in setting up everything for you, and you accepted in a heartbeat. As such, being away from family was the main downside of the holidays. There were at least three positives that comforted you through it. Firstly, your apartment which was handled by the company was homely, cozy and spacious. Secondly, your job paid extremely well and so, you were prepared to go all out decorating your apartment and making it feel like home. And thirdly, you had your new friend Mingi.

Now yes, he just so happened to be from Ateez and yes, either he was going to go back home for the holidays or be away on tour but that was okay. The two of you were friends and it felt comforting to know that he had your interest in mind since he articulated that you could message him at any point if you felt sad and alone, and he'd make you feel better.

Your plan was to spend the holiday with your co-worker, friend and neighbour who also worked at KQ. But you didn’t mind possibly contacting Mingi. He was cute, charming, soft and kind-hearted and you felt comfortable around him. 

Five weeks before Christmas, when you told Mingi your plan to decorate and go all out in your apartment and make it the most magical Christmas wonderland, you didn’t think much of it. Unbeknownst to you, a week later, exactly a month till Christmas, Mingi showed up at your place with a small Christmas tree and bags of decorations. 

"Let's decorate together!" He cheered.

That day, you spent the entire day decorating and adorning your living room with twinkling, glittering Christmas lights before settling for making a cheesy and creamy pasta dinner while watching some Christmas classics to get more into the Christmas mood.

"Do you miss home?" He asked.

"Yeah I do. But I'll be video calling to spend the morning together. How do you handle it?"

"I just do. As time goes on, I just remind myself that it won't always be like before. At some point, things shift but consideration goes a long way, so finding ways to keep in touch helps."

You liked Mingi, a lot more than you thought you would. You knew his job carried his life in a different trajectory from yours and you tried to remind yourself he may not necessarily be interested in pursuing a relationship especially given the difference in cultural values. Your friendship blossomed because he found you fun and sweet, making subtle jokes with your neighbour-friend at work while keeping to yourself most of the time. You were also very smart and creative, and he saw how talented you were when they were introduced to the marketing concepts for the next album done by yours truly.

You both started conversing more because of your similar interests in anime and fantasy books after he asked your neighbour about you, wanting to compliment your work. A casual friendship led to you becoming closer and you both were comfortable around each other enough to hang out at each other's spaces — him hanging out at yours more because you didn't want to intrude on his and his members' space.

 You opened up to him about the past year events and some of the intruding thoughts plaguing your mind. Mingi had a way with words and reassured you that you are the brightest star to shine in the night sky.

“Just like these lights,” he expressed, “You have a luminous glow and dazzling spark about you. You’re a shimmering star and the right person will see it. If they’re only interested because of what you could be for them, then they’re not the right person for you. It’s not about what you could be but rather who you already are — all the quirks whether good or bad, because that’s what makes you who you are — the unique, incandescent and sparkling star in the dark night sky.”

Little did you know, Mingi liked you too because he was mesmerised by the way you carried about yourself and how whimsical you were with life. Your personality drew him in and he didn't mind the slight language barrier (you were still getting better at Korean and him with English) or cultural differences. 

He liked you for who you are.

And that’s why sneaky Mingi brought in the mistletoe at the last second before leaving and kissed you under it. It had been a long time since you kissed someone and felt an electric rush. And it was a long time since having someone feel this way about you too.

 It all felt like a special Christmas gift from the Universe.

That your now boyfriend was no one else but Song Mingi. And while he couldn’t be with you on Christmas Day, he made sure to give you your present early and reminded you not to open it until Christmas. 

On Christmas morning, after a video call with your family, you opened it and was captivated. It was a simple, pretty petite star charm with a shiny centre coupled with a chain that could make it be worn as a necklace. Accompanying it was a Christmas card that said: Merry Christmas to my favourite star in the whole galaxy. :)”

So, as you stared out the window watching the snow fall, thinking about the past year, you gently touched your new necklace, smiling at how everything fell into place.

[donnerpartyofone]

I destroyed the house. I've been slowly neatening and cleaning and making things liveable bit by bit for weeks and it's all gone. People joke about the whole Sisyphus thing and they usually mean the rat race of work and bills and not getting ahead, but when I say every day is the same I really mean it. The drawers I "fixed" have stopped closing again because I had to look for something and my "organizing" couldn't withstand that, so now we're back to square one. The clothing I sorted and washed and put away is once again in a 3' deep ocean all over the bedroom, because I had to look for something. The art and comics and little gifts people gave me that I "put away safely" is all wrecked because I had to look for something. The little bags and boxes I made to consolidate different types of things are all over the place again, because I had to look for something. The jewelry I finally organized (after I destroyed more than half of it by trying to clean it) is a mess again because I had to look for something. And I didn't even find the main thing I was looking for, which had a very definite place-it-belongs and is more than a foot long on each side and would be awfully conspicuous in an apartment this size, and whose ENTIRE PURPOSE WAS HELPING ME STAY ORGANIZED, is just gone. I really don't get what could have happened, I must have just slipped into a fugue state and thrown it in the trash. I don't even think I spent my own money on it, I think my husband bought it for me which makes my chronic and destructive wastefulness even more shameful than usual. I was supposed to walk a block and a half to the pharmacy hours ago to find out if they had my backordered medication, so that I could know if I then had to spend the rest of the day calling other pharmacies for the same reason. There's no way I can do that very important thing now, even though the medication is directly related to why I just totally ruined the house and undid months' worth of careful, patient organizing so I could try to live something like a decent, normal life. I should have applied for jobs today. I should have worked on my project that could actually turn into a job if I really try hard. I should have done normal cleaning like laundry and dishes and showering. I should have run a few errands and gotten some fresh air. I should have read one of the many books I'm half way through. Just one of any of these things would have justified getting out of bed today. I should have done anything at all to just inch my life forward a little bit, to just try to be a little bit better than I was yesterday. But instead I'm just still living an endless repetitive day that started sometime when I was in my 30s, or my 20s, or when a was a child, a day I will never get to the end of because I can't complete anything. I can never get to the next step of anything. No wonder my family talks to me like I'm still the same laughably stunted and incompetent 12 year old they had to carry through life decades ago, it makes me mad that they won't treat me like an adult with real thoughts and feelings but actually I totally deserve it because from the day I was born nothing has changed. I'm still just lying around pissing my pants and wondering how I got all wet.

[ouroborosman]

Actor!Wally AU Story Lore!

Okay!!! I've been sitting on a bunch of unfinished images but I wanna share this now! I'll update the pics as they get finished~

Here's the story lore for Jay in the Actor Wally AU!

Wally actor AU created by @frillsand!

Jay is a 20-something that moved to a larger city about a year or two ago. She was born and raised in a pretty small town, and being the oldest of her two other siblings, was set to inherit the farm her family owned. She really hated how secluded she was from everything, and decided to set off to a nearby city to make something of herself. She might even go to college, she told them!

The learning curve was really harsh to this formerly-sheltered girl. She brought some money with her she saved up, but that was gone before she knew it. She luckily managed to get a job and apartment before actually becoming homeless.

 One thing she had always liked was crafting and sewing and found herself doing such in her free time. She got fairly good at it. It was one day she ran into one of her puppet neighbors that had managed to get a pretty large tear in their arm. She offered to fix them up! Word spread around and soon enough Jay had a little community of puppets around her asking for repairs and she happily obliged.

This actually worked out well for Jay. Eventually she had puppets asking for cosmetic things, like decorative embroidery and such on their bodies. Jay charged a small fee for these services. Word got around enough that Jay actually got accepted for temporary jobs that she applied for, and she basically became an independent contractor of sorts. Along with her cosmetic services and selling her plushies she began making, she made an okay living.

Later she gets accepted to a ‘floater’ position for Welcome Home Productions, covering for people that call in. Normally she would probably bounce from how stressful the set is, but the better pay and more reliable work opportunities keeps her there for now. Plus, she enjoys her tasks at work! She often makes props, consults for costume designing, and other things alike.

THE MEET~~

Jay of course knew of Wally Darling before, often passing him by or watching as he worked on set. His reputation and behavior toward staff kept her pretty wary of him and she steered clear.

Too bad that she was covering for his seamstress one day! And how unfortunate that she needed to fix up an outfit he was currently wearing! Lmao. She really did expect him to bite her head off, but much to her surprise he wasn’t too bad. Small talk between them led to her explaining the other odd jobs and commissions she takes, as well as an off-hand mention about mending puppet injuries. Wally takes a bit of interest in that, how strange that a human chooses to do that? As soon as she’s done with the costume fix up she skitters off because he still intimidates her lol.

Seeing that he wasn’t as bad as his reputation said, Jay forms a little crush on him throughout her time on set. She jumped at the opportunity of a blind date with him! He’s awkward and she finds it cute and flirts with him a bit. Probably after this date, they became somewhat friendlier towards each other and chat at work when they get the chance.

(pic soon to come maybe!)

Aaand that’s the base story in my head! I think leaving it open-ended makes it fun to imagine different scenarios! Thanks for listening to my brainrot if you made it this far!! <3

~~~

Other little factoids that will probably never be relevant to the main story:

Jay freaking loves bugs!! She’d become an entomologist if given the opportunity. School is expensive, though!

Jay keeps a few pet insects and has a cat

Though she has a little community of puppet neighbors for company, Jay lives alone. She gets really lonely sometimes, as her best friends became long distance when she moved

Maybe her loneliness is why she has so many plushies. She basically is surrounded by them when she sleeps.

She is quiet and polite to associates. To friends, she indulges in strange humor and is pretty goofy. She’s a bit too sensitive for her own good and will get pretty sad if she thinks her friends are upset with her.

Jay’s clothing style is a mishmash of cutesy-pastel and punkish. She likes fem and androgynous clothes best. She can’t afford many outfits anyways tho-

Jay loves biology and nature. She spends most of her time inside doing work and hobby stuff, though

[non-bee-knees]

I've got ScarVi brainrot so here's a list of headcanons that live rent free: (a lot of it is Larry and Giacomo based (my beloveds) )

SPOILERS BELOW

Nemona is autistic

Penny is trans (mtf)

Arven has dsylexia (formed off of that one moment at the end where he forgets the name of something, paired with his apparent bad grades)

Arven's mother/father (Vi or Scar dependent) 'died' when he was young - they got caught up in their studies and the time machine went all fucky and POOF no more parent. Back then the technology wasn't advanced enough to make an AI version ((for example, I played Scarlet, so this headcannon applies to Turo getting sucked into the future, make sense?)) Arven was only young when this happened

Larry is Asexual Biromantic (fight me)

Giacomo lives with Larry- his uncle.

Giacomo is actually Unovian - his mother was from there (his father was Paldaen), and he grew up there. Something happened to his parents (they died??) and he moved to Paldea to stay with his uncle. This was all about 3 years before the story of ScarVi. ((this entire headcannon changes location if we get an Italy region because i said so))

Larry smokes; he almost always refuses to smoke at work, whether is his salary job, his gym work or at the Elite Four Tower - the one time he smoked at work was at the Elite Four Tower, ( it was a hard day) and he almost instantly got caught by Hassel

For as emotional and as sweet as he is, Hassel is the most passive agressive man alive; case and point - he will bring up Larry's smoking any chance they're alone, hoping to subtly annoy him into quitting ( this does not work)

Giacomo and Arven become good friends once Giacomo starts going to school more often (Arven has a Mabosschiff, you know Giacomo is gonna be all over that)

Giacomo has ADHD (chaotic music child my beloved)

Atticus is Autistic ( BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT HIM)

The Gym Leaders in order of age are: Larry/Brassius, Ryme, Kofu, Tulip, Katy, Iono and then Grusha (who's in his early 20's)

In terms of including the Elite Four: Hassle is the absolute oldest, Rika is a bit older than Grusha, and Poppy is obviously the youngest. Geeta falls between Kofu and Tulip.

Geeta absolutely drags everyone away on a fully funded week-long vacay every year - that one random episode of Brooklyn 99 style

Larry is just as bright and interesting as the rest of his coworkers, he's just awkward about it.

Larry's Autistic (ITS MY COMFORT GAME, I GET TO CHOOSE WHO I PROJECT ONTO)

[mathlann]

Heinrix :3

How I feel about this character

Uhh....I will link [here] for a much longer answer on how I feel about that man and my answer later down the line, but he is a ragged chew toy to me. He's genuinely such a good microcosm of the role of "privileged" psykers in the Imperium and all the identity issues that come with that and also the inherent cross-purposes between the State Power of the Inquisition and the Frontier Authority of Rogue Traders. And I say this as an expression of love: I want him to fuck off and out of the airlock.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Heinrix x Cas but only in the way that is toxic, or in an AU where they have different jobs that aren't at each other's throats. I know I only ever seem to post mean about him but I genuinely was almost swayed by the allure of the No Jealousy mod.

Heinrix x My Mutuals' Rogue Traders 💕

Heinrix x Therapy (20 year minimum)

And ofc, I am a Heinrizhai hatefuck truther from day 1 so...its not romance but I ship it. I think they could defeat Slaanesh.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

If Heinrix and Marazhai can't fuck nasty I need them to at least kill each other.

Heinrix and Abelard are a fun duo. I'm a firm believer that Heinrix is only maybe behind Abelard by a few decades at most. They have the kind of energy that says they've both been found sleeping with their arms crossed in front of the Cogitators while watching the Space!Blood Bowl.

Heinrix and Jae can hang as well but only when he's chill and not being a cop about it. I honestly would love to hear them talk religion. He needs some of her "chill out about The Exalted One" energy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Okay, I've spent too long on this answer so, linked post for more controversial thoughts but the current Bugbear chewing on my mind is that I feel like the fandom kind of treats him being in the Ordo Xenos as just like...a job that has no bearing on his character outside that he's a workaholic about it. And that does so much disservice to the analysis of his character as an institution man™.

Like we cannot discuss Heinrix's Mercy path and inner iconoclast core without acknowledging that his development there is intimately tied to his struggles as a psyker within the framework of the Imperium's Dogma. Which, if he was a member of the Ordo Hereticus or Malleus, would be smooth sailing. But he's Ordo Xenos, which notably has not much to do with his issues as a psyker. Plus, Aeldari are people too, and the narrative I feel is pretty intentional with showing how Heinrix's xenophobia is more often than not wrong. And not even to say "Aeldari are always right" but rather Heinrix follows a pattern emblematic of the Imperium's xenos policy that values short-sighted blanket mistrust and paranoia of slights real and imagined, that often agitates and makes situations worse especially when it comes to harms ultimately originating with other humans. And so you can't discuss the ways Heinrix shows or feels mercy towards someone like Emelina, without discussing the people he actively chooses to not to extend those feelings towards. And I feel like that gets swept under the rug because a lot of the notable incidents involve Marazhai the Instigator and Yrliet, the local Bitch Eating Crackers, and so for reasons fair and not, a lot of the fandom is predisposed to seeing them as unreliable or deserving of ill treatment for their behavior in ways that don't get applied to the humans.

And honestly, if I had the time to soapbox about it I'd argue that the issues of Heinrix's job-dependence, impotent anger at his circumstances, and self-loathing are all things that make him a perfect match for the Ordo Xenos because it allows him to channel those feelings onto creatures and populations* that Dogma has taught him are unambiguously good to harm! That's intrinsic to the character to me tbh.

*Creatures and populations here acknowledging that not all xenos are "people" in the way that can be reasoned with but Aeldari are and that's who the game deals with.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

On the silly side: DLC where if you follow Heinrix's advice on how to handle the Drukhari, the Ordo Malleus shows up to try to beat your/Heinrix's ass. Genuinely they are having such a bad couple of months/years on a Dogmatic Rogue Trader run lmao.

On the serious side: Okay I'm conflicted about this because Heinrix xenophobia is such a core part of his character but also I do wish, especially if you romance him, the game acknowledged how out of pocket he gets if you keep the xenos? Because he absolutely is overstepping both your rights as Rogue Trader and Calcazar's orders to let you be. Like, if you decide to keep Marazhai, as is your God-Emperor-given right, he will use words with you that cannot be found in the Lectitio Divinitatus, but outside telling him "no" in the moment you never really get to address his behavior. I've said it in the past in another post but the fact that romanced!Heinrix will apologize to you for having sex but not for repeatedly undermining your orders...in front of your retinue and crew....insane man. Owlcat let me shake him.

[dvilborn]

knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier !

– 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

♡ NAME: kita, and any variation of it you can make up.

♡ PRONOUNS: she/they

♡  SEXUALITY: dyke

♡  TAKEN OR SINGLE: single

– 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

♡ i have a tattoo for nearly every fandom i've rped in.

♡ i recently achieved my qualifying law degree and will hopefully be applying to legal jobs in september!!! just a couple more months baby

♡ in general, hazbin has been one of the chillest fandoms i've rped in since like. 2018. so thank u to my dash, yall are great.

– 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

♡   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): jesus. i think i started in like. 2012/2013 on the forum rps of fanfic.net. so at least 10 years. mind you, i didn't start rping properly then until 2015 though.

♡   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: fanfic.net, a tvd fan forum i couldnt name, omegle, kik, so many apps, discord, tumblr.

♡   BEST EXPERIENCE: every other experience was horrific bar discord so note that down! but fr, tumblr has introduced me to so many people and let us build interactions and characters together that it has to be the best. this hellmouth let me build a 8 year friendship so it has that going for it.

– 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒

♡   FEMALE OR MALE: women. women always. maybe it's the lesbian in me but i simply love my female characters. i do have a couple men adjacent muses though. love letting the girls go crazy and commit atrocities.

♡  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: angst. fluff is good but angst is so easy to write. i love breaking my muses.

♡   PLOTS OR MEMES: i'm so bad at getting the plot ball rolling that i have to choose memes here. at least to start. when we have a base interaction then my brain can go brr and scream about dynamics and plots for days. i just need the kickstart.

♡   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: somewhere in the middle. i love a long reply but sometimes it just means a lot of waffle if its just trying to make up space. short replies are hit and miss for me personally. i like to go for 2-3 paras personally.

♡   BEST TIME TO WRITE: lol imagine sitting down to actually write. usually in the evenings since my dash is dead until then bc timezones.

♡ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): absolutely not. other than being gay. all of my muses are at least cooler than me and should be wanted by authorities in 20 countries.

tagged by . @spiderslvts (thank u bestie) tagging . @videoaux @kindofuneven @nosestealer @pridefell @wolfkcst @gluttonybound + anyone who wants to steal

[ae-cow]

Lovers in BL♡♡M

Pairings: NCT Dream x aespa

Warning: This is a ship, does not relate to them irl. It's just my imagination. Tons of spelling errors probably

A/N: This is an idea of mine and I would like someone to write it lol.

© ae-cow. Do not claim, steal or repost. All rights reserved

Book 1

Pairing: Karina and Jeno

Karina works as an executive matchmaker in BLOOM. She finds herself being invited to not only her ex-boyfriend’s wedding but also her ex-best friend’s. They had invited her to their wedding to shove it to her face she assumes.

She wanted to get right back at them so she told them that she was bringing her CEO Boyfriend. Luckily for her, she work at a matchmaking agency— the thing is how will she get the man she discribed in 2 week?!

Lee Jeno CEO of an Architectural Company has a father who’s pestering him to find a wife, Jeno decides to tell him he has a girlfriend. His father had excitedly told him to invite the lady to dinner in 2 WEEKS?! Jeno applied to BLOOM in search of a wife that his father has been nagging for.

Karina was assigned to him and looked through his profile and the survey he did and…thought he was the perfect match for her disguise.

They made a deal to date for 2 weeks to get to know each other and line up their stories on how they met, who confessed, first dates, first kiss…

Book 2

Pairing: Mark and Giselle

Giselle was invited to an old client's wedding. After matching making them 3 years ago, they announced that they were getting married! The couple wanted to thank Giselle for setting them up by inviting her as the person who started it all.

During the wedding, Giselle finds a man who looks like a perfect guy for anyone. Beautiful cheekbones, is a pianist and can speak English, qualities some would like to have in a partner. Turns out this man is the Groom's younger brother, Mark Lee.

Minho, Mark’s brother told Giselle to convince Mark to join BLOOM as a client so that he won’t be playing sad love songs on the piano. Mark says yes.

After doing a survey, Giselle finds out that they are perfect for each other.

They somehow manage to find each other as if it was fate despite constant blind dates for Mark, Giselle however thinks this is absurd as she is the matchmaker and he is the client. She could literally get fired for this if they were to date.

Mark however is very fond of the girl aka the only reason why he agreed to join BLOOM.

Book 3

Pairing: Jaemin and Winter

Winter and Jaemin are ex-lovers. They broke up because Jaemin was a pre-med student and they didn't have much time to see each other to the point they started losing feelings.

After 5 years Jaemin was finally stable in his job and thought he was ready to find love again. That is when he applies to BLOOM and finds his ex as his matchmaker.

“You came here just to torment me huh?”

“What? I didn't know you worked as a matchmaker, I came here so that I can find someone— glad I did cause Winter, I've been thinking about us and-”

“There's no us.”

As time went on they both felt like it was torture despite constantly telling themselves that there were no feelings, Winter feels a tint of jealousy whereas Jaemin feels wrong when he goes on dates that Winter set him up with.

Winter calls the department to change matchmakers for Jaemin, seeing their history, they allow the change.

Despite the change, they both still think a lot about each other even when they don’t want to. Well… is more of Winter not wanting to, Jaemin on the other hand accepts his reoccurring feelings.

Book 4

Pairing: Renjun and Ningning

NingNing and Renjun had been one-sided Rivals since the day Ningning had beaten his record of 20 matchmakes in a month by just one couple making 21 matchmakes for Ningning.

Renjun vows to beat her since that day. Ningning however likes Renjun, she sees him as a remarkable person and truly admires him.

Ningning notices this and decides to play along as this is the only way to get his attention, by beating him.

One day Ningning quits being a matchmaker, for personal reasons and Renjun sees that he has no one to look forward to beating, no one who is up his par.

Renjun hates how she is constantly in his mind, “am I the reason why she quit? Did my constant comparison make her tired of me?”

“I hate how much I miss her, I hate how despite doing my work and occupying my mind with different things, my mind just somehow has a special place where Ningning is a constant.”

[hezuart]

Why did you switch from animation to reviews? Also, do you still plan on doing CGI like you mentioned multiple times?

oH BOY..... you may need to sit down for this one

So it all started back in 2012. I was around 14 years old and just saw Rise of the Guardians and Wreck it Ralph. The stories, the characters, the world-building, the animation... now I never really went to movie theaters as a kid, but as a teen I started going and I instantly fell in love.

I went to community college for a few years and made some amazing friends. Loved some of my teachers and we participated in fun events like the 24-hour challenge and Campus Movie Fest. I had gotten in the top picks for Campus Movie Fest at some point and was supposed to go to the Cannes Film Festival in France to showcase my short film, but then the pandemic hit and it got canceled indefinitely.

So get this, for community college, I got a certification in 3D Animation and Video Game development. It's basically an AA degree but without general ed. (Why do you need general ed to get a degree in something? Math and PE have nothing to do with Animation. College is ridiculous. People have to pay you more simply because you were forced to spend more money in college. Wild.) Out of the 20 classes I had taken to get this certification, only 3 of those courses were hands-on 3D animation. And only one of those courses was hands-on video game development and I dropped out of that class because it was PC only and I only had a Mac at the time. I applied to the class without realizing it was accommodating only to PCs. So even my certification is barely reaching the basics for the title of it, but I did take another online course or two for 3D animation which I have a different certification for.

Now even with my 3D animation, I was never taught the physics engine. I was never taught hair or cloth simulation, but I do have modeling, rigging, animating, and texturing experience. For gaming, I have very little experience. I've only modeled things and found my way around Unity, but otherwise, I suck at coding. I hate coding with a passion. Making a video game without coding isn't really possible.

Now, when the pandemic hit, a lot of things were shutting down. I had no idea where I wanted to go next. People kept asking me where I was going for my higher education, but I kept getting warned not to waste money on college if you're trying to become an artist, especially at University. It's a money pit, and competition is so high, you're not guaranteed a job, you're just gonna be in debt. Even colleges like Cal Arts, who charge over $1K per class, I've been told are a "Pay to get in" kind of place. Where the money is used to nab professionals from their work to teach students or talk about their company or programs, and through that, you get a bigger chance to get your foot in the door because you know someone. I've unfortunately been told that's the more realistic way to get into animation: networking. If you're a shy introvert who doesn't know any famous people, you need to be extremely talented and unique to stand out to get the chance of being noticed. I don't really want to suck up to people nor do I want to waste thousands of dollars and 5 more years on college that I may not even need (let alone be able to afford) especially if there are online classes that may be even more valuable.

Now after I got out of college and started applying a few places, I discovered a LOT of unfortunate information.

Most animation these days is done overseas. South Korea, India, Japan, and Canada are the big ones.

Invader Zim, Steven Universe, Miraculous Ladybug, The Simpsons, OK KO, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Kipo and the Age of the Wonder Beasts, Adventure Time, Twelve Forever, and the Powerpuff Girls Reboot were animated in South Korea. The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is animated in Canada.

(The first four seasons of the Simpsons were animated in America until it switched to South Korea and India.)

2D traditional animation is no longer viable. Puppetry is the industry standard because it's the cheapest. Luckily, Toon Boom Harmony has allowed us to push the boundaries of 2D puppetry. Puppetry these days, if done well, can look really great, like Tangled the Series, but if you don't have Toon Boom Harmony, you're probably not gonna be hired.

Not even all 3D is made in the USA. If it's Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar, then it's usually USA. But streaming service movies, like Sea Beast, Kid Cosmic, The Willoughbys, and Klaus, while they claim to be a "Netflix Original" that "Netflix Animation" animated, that's a lie. Klaus was animated by Yowza! Animation in Canada. The Willoughbys: Bron Animation, Canada. Kid Cosmic: Mercury Filmworks, Canada. Sea Beast: Sony Pictures Image Works, Canada. (X)

Go Go Cory Carson is written and storyboarded in America, but the animation is shipped out to be done in France. Sonic Boom is also French Animated.

Even Sony Pictures? Open Season, Surf's Up, Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, SMurfs, Hotel Transylvania, Over the Moon, The Angry Birds Movie, Sea Beast? Sony Pictures Imageworks is based in Canada. They're doing all the animation for them. It's not animated in America, it's merely funded by them.

I should also clarify: I only want to participate in stylized animated media. I don't want to do CGI for hyper-realistic films, which eliminates most of the animation jobs out there these days. It's just not my thing. The insane amount of details and uncanny valley are just so unappealing, I can't do it.

The closest animation studios are still far away. Most companies are located in LA. I'm over 7+ hours away from there. LA also has a high poverty rate, terrible air quality, is overcrowded, and is just generally not a good place to live, especially if you're low middle class. You're not gonna survive there.

Pixar is located in Emeryville, a few minutes north of San Fransisco city. Emeryville is the most crime-ridden city in that area. They tell you not to walk home alone at night. You're more likely to get robbed there than anywhere else according to the population ratio there. There are a lot of gangs that hide up there, and there's a lot of poverty there, even outside of San Fransisco. It's basically a trash pit. Not an ideal place to live, and commuting through 3-hour SF city traffic is also not gonna work. (X)

I have also been informed some people who work at Pixar are petty that the interns use their facility. Pixar has a heated pool, soccer field, gymnasium, and a few other nice things on their property. I was informed there was a person or two who got mad that an intern was using their basketball court.... when the intern was on break. As though they weren't part of Pixar, as though they had no right to touch the property. Apparently, they also used to make the interns push around little tea carts to serve refreshments as a way to "talk to the fellow animators" to probably get them interacting, but hearing that the interns were basically chored with butler duty to bother the animators hard at work seems like such a forced thing. That makes me uncomfortable. Of course, the person who told me these stories has been working with Pixar for over a decade or two now, so things could be very different as the years went on. Pixar itself on the inside of the animator building is gorgeous. They all decorate their office spaces in crazy ways, it looks like a movie set. But they have a bar and "whiskey club". They're apparently allowed to drink at work and have often had parties that got a little out of hand. There's also an old chain smoker room where the founders used to play poker and spy on people outside of their room with hidden cameras; I've even been inside. I don't think they use it anymore, though I'm not totally sure. Some of this info was fascinating, but the drinking made me uncomfortable. I kinda want to work with sober people here.

The sex ratio in the animation industry is also interesting and unfavorable. 70% of the animation and art school ratio is women, but only 34% of the actual animation workforce is women. 34% female to 66% male. More women study animation than men, but more men get hired and hold positions than women. Animation, ironically, has always been a male-dominated workplace. This unfortunately contributes to the "you have to know someone" or "be rich" to get-in situation. Men know a lot more men and not as many women. So the 30 to 40-year-old guys hire the other guys they know rather than a young poor girl with a passion. This makes it even more difficult for me to get in. (X)

20th Century, Netflix Animation, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Bento Box, Vanguard Animation, Universal Studios, Titmouse, 6 Point Harness, ShadowMachine- all LA / South California.

There are a few places I could apply to, but what they do, I just don't care for. Niantic(Pokemon Go), Lucasfilm(Effects), Whiteboard Animation(Marketing), Sharpeyeanimation (Marketing), EA games (Mass Effect, Battlefield, Dragon Age 2, all those hyper-realistic war, sports, or fantasy games.)

So whether it's outside of the USA or within the USA, I need to move. I don't have the money for that yet.

Just find a company that does remote work, right? It should be easy, especially in pandemic times! Wrong. Most animation companies don't permit remote work. It's probably a security issue. But I've done research on this. The only big animation company I've found (so far) that allows remote work (or is HIRING for remote work) is Mainframe Studios in Canada. They have a 3D animation job list, and I guess they focus on animating Barbie movies(???). (X) But that's about it. And even if you're a remote worker, there's a high likely hood you still need a Visa to be allowed to work for a company belonging to another country. So that's a whole other legal process to deal with.

Disney is becoming a huge corporate monopoly over American animation. They bought Blue Sky only to kill them off. (Disney also just recently laid off 7,000 people due to their stock price drop and failed movies they released the past year with deliberately bad marketing for political reasons. (X) Disney also bought Pixar and is pushing for sequels because weird or bad, sequels and terrible live actions make them a LOT of money. Did you know Disney's terrible Lion King CGI remake is amongst the top 10 highest-grossing movies ever made? It's criminal. (X)

Because Disney is such a big name in the USA, there's a huge association of animation = children's media, which is not true. Animation at the Oscars also has its own category, when it's not a genre, is a medium. Disney often wins at the Oscars too because no one sees the other animations. Granted, Disney has an insane marketing budget in comparison, but it's clear no one cares to seek out animation outside of heavy CGI live-action these days. No small-time studios, no limited releases, no anime. The fact that Disney also now OWNS the Oscars is SUS as hell. (The fact that Disney-owned ABC threatened the Oscars, forcing them to cut 8 categories or else there wouldn't be a show that year is wild. There isn't even an oscar for stuntmen. What the fuck, Hollywood?) (X)

Dreamworks nearly went bankrupt and sold itself to Comcast back in 2013. Comcast also owns Illumination. Dreamworks has been focusing on making bad tv show adaptions of their IPs. So yes people, Jack would sooner meet the Minions than meet Elsa. Disney is the biggest corporate monopoly, but it's definitely not the only one. The animation industry in America is snuffing out its competition by buying it out for itself. It's insane the kind of power they have.

Competition is HIGH. Because of this, the only ways to get in? If you're rich or you know someone. Pixar gets over 3,000 intern applications every summer. Less than 100 are seen by actual hiring managers. The most interns Pixar has ever taken in a single year were 12. The least they ever took in a single year was two. A 12 to 3,000 ratio is not favorable. That's a 3% chance to get into a big-shot animation company.

And again, because remote work isn't permissible to new hires, you need to live in the area to commute to the campuses. This is one of the reasons why LA is so crowded.

If you get into an animation company purely remote and maybe even for a different country? You are the luckiest person alive.

Programs are expensive. The animation industry is very strict on what programs they use. The industry standard for 2D puppetry is Toon Boom Harmony; the industry standard for 3D animation is Maya, and the industry standard for video game development isn't as clear but Unity is one of them.

Some of these programs are free, as long as you are a student. If you are attending college or a certain online program, you can use your school-issued email through them to apply to get the program for free for about a year. Otherwise, if you're using it to make your own animations solo?

Autodesk Maya: $225 a month or $1,785 a year (X)

and guess what? Maya removed its free render service. Arnold is now built in by default, however, if you want to BATCH render (Meaning render a full scene or several slides) it will slap it's ugly watermark over it.

Fun fact, this very rendered watermark can be seen accidentally in a single frame for the Kingdom Hearts Frozen cutscene

Well, you need to batch render if you're trying to animate so let's see what Arnold costs- $50 monthly to $380 annually.... are you kidding me?! The rendering PLUG-IN BUNDLED TO MAYA COSTS MORE TO USE THAN THE OWN PROGRAM?! (X)

Now, there are other rendering plug-ins you can probably use with Maya. But they all have their ups and downs and their own costs as well. (X) Pixar's Renderman is $595 per license. I can't seem to get info on Octane. V-ray solo is $39 monthly while premium is around $60 monthly.

Now there IS Blender, an alternative to Maya. It is free and I have it. That is ideal to work in for people like me. I tried it a while back, but I hated the interface windows. It was hard to work on it when you can't close them properly. It's possible they've fixed this in an update, but I haven't touched the program in over three years so I wouldn't know. It's different from Maya a little, so it has ups and downs in comparison too. But Blender is a savior to 3D artists everywhere.

Toon Boom Harmony isn't as bad but still high: Lowest price is $27 monthly / $220 annual and the highest is $124 monthly / $1,100 annual (X)

Unity has a basic version that is free, but Unity Plus is $399 yearly while Unity Pro is $2,040 (X)

So some programs are clearly more viable than others. But imagine you're trying to model, texture, rig, animate, simulate, and render a short film all by yourself in Maya. That's gonna take you over a year or two, and you'll have several thousand dollars out of your pocket by the time your free trial ends. And might I say, for an industry-standard program, Maya sucks. It's almost unusable without those plug-ins for not only rendering but also for the models to even be able to SELECT their BONE rigs.

Do you want to practice on your own when school is out of session? Fuck you! Fuck subscription services! Welcome to capitalist hell, baby!

Again, using Blender is more viable, but you're still going to be basically doing everything yourself. That's gonna take years. Do you have the patience for that? Do I?

Because of the pandemic, movies aren't even hitting theaters anymore. They're going straight to streaming services. Streaming services of which, gain sole rights to and can take media off their platforms at any time without warning. Thanks, Discovery+ ! Does everyone remember the HBO Max Animation & DC purge? It could happen to other streaming services too. Piracy will save the future of animation at this point. (X)

And again, Streaming services like Netflix will purchase films and claim they made them by slapping their logo over it; but no, they either bought the distribution rights or produced them through funding and maybe storyboarding. Often times from a Canadian film studio. (Link again X)

Even stop motion companies like LAIKA are losing money and may have to shut down or be bought out in the future, especially considering how much work and money they put into their films vs. how much money they actually make. (X)

All of this? Naturally made me fall into a depression. My god, the layers of hopelessness. My animation and modeling is pretty average too. I'm decent. I can maybe make a good shot. But I can't blow people away like James Baxter can. I mean, I shouldn't compare myself to people. If I worked really hard, maybe I could get into a good company. But again, I have to move! A part of me gave up. I don't really do 3D animation anymore, though part of me misses it.

I still 2D animate. I'm trying to make a short film and though my college friends who were working on it with me have given up, I have done my best to keep going. Even if it has been produced at a snail's pace for the past three years, I still intend to finish this animation. It's gonna be beautiful when it comes out, and it will be a wonderful portfolio piece regardless.

So with nothing else to do and no other kind of job experience really under my belt(plus my family is prone to covid so getting a job in the pandemic was just kind of out of the question) I decided to go to youtube. I heard some people can make a little money on there, but the truth is I had actually wanted to become a youtuber for a few years prior. I've always looked up to animators and reviewers on youtube, I've loved the stories they tell and their incredibly detailed analysis essays on movies, tv series, books, etc. I wanted to be one of them. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd do, so I just followed the Youtube Partnership program set up which took a few months, and then jumped in! I found I only had the time to upload once every month or two. I had a ton of audio issues and I'm not outputting at the proper 1920 x 1080 quality that I should be doing either. It's a huge learning process that I still haven't perfected, but I'm taking notes to try and get better.

Even though Youtube is fun, I only make $300 a month, and that isn't even consistent. With patreon, I make maybe another $80 or $100 on top of that, so overall $400 a month average. That's really nice and pretty cool! But it's not enough to survive.

Now I work part-time at a coffee shop. My mental health is a lot better and I love my coworkers. I make roughly $400 a week in comparison to the $400 a month. It's still not enough to live off of (the cheapest rent around is over $1,000 a month, not ) and it's still a temporary job in the long run. I intend to work here for maybe another two years to save up money.

But what do I do now?

Am I welcome in animation spaces anymore?

As a critic of popular media, it could be likely that they could fire me or deny my application because of my critique of their past films or tv series. They could see my youtube persona and assume I'm a raging untrustworthy nitpick instead of a passionate, kind person.

Vivziepop's Spindlehorse company? What Viv was doing was a dream. I was so inspired by her. She made her own company, made a super successful pilot, and was even creating more jobs for traditional, high-quality animation. However, for Hazbin Hotel, she required more funding, which is why she sold it off to A24, who now has corporate say in the show. A24 is known for letting creators be more lenient, but otherwise, Viv won't have full control over it anymore unless she managed to get them to sign something over to her; but with the rumors of her being kicked off season 1? I don't know anymore.

Her own company Spindlehorse; they rely on youtube revenue and/or merch sales to fund Helluva Boss. That's a tricky business practice, but it's kept them afloat so far.

However, Spindlehorse is hiring a lot of people as of late. This could be a bad sign; that people might be leaving the company due to potential mistreatment or unhappiness. With the way the show is going, I don't really want to be part of that company regardless, but maybe before season 2 of Helluva Boss, I would have considered applying. Had I made any critique videos prior, there's no way they'd accept me. "Aren't you that one YouTuber that said my writing is bad for season 2 episode 2?" And you expect me to hire you?" Like yeah, that application process would go down well. Not. By critiquing artists' work, some of them are very sensitive. I'd be kicked out for a lot of things, when really, we artists should be critiquing each other all the time, trying to improve. That's how the writer's room always is, ahaha... hours of fighting goes down in those meetings. It's intense, but fun.

But yeah, it's such a shame. Even small companies need to sell out to corporate to survive. Either that or be HEAVILY crowd-funded, which again, can be a slippery slope.

I see a ton of small projects on Twitter looking to hire people, or looking to become a big studio to release a pilot or game. I've joined a few of them, but most are unpaid because of COURSE they are, and then these projects?? Just don't go anywhere. Because it's unpaid. Because we can't afford to work on a project for free. IRL comes first. Some of these projects seem so great but they don't go anywhere, and it's hard to have faith in start-up studios anymore. (Game creators might have a chance, but tv series or films? Good luck, folks.)

At that point, should I just make my own company? I don't have the money or knowledge for such a thing! It's insanely expensive to start a business and get licensing. So much paperwork, so much everything! And the USA Government is so behind in understanding technology. If you want to create a remote business and/or copyright something, you're still required to put an advertisement in a local newspaper about it, even if your business isn't selling to locals. 💀 The number of fees and ridiculous legal hoops you need to jump through... it's a ridiculous waste of time and money. But you need to do it. The question is, am I willing to do it? Am I willing to tackle such an insane thing by myself?

I want to keep my internet persona and IRL persona separate, but can I? I value having a private, quieter life away from the screen. I worry about getting doxxed one day because of the nature of the internet. I worry about people finding my IRL resumes or profiles for work I want to do outside of youtube for security's sake. My art style is unique and very recognizable. I don't have a lot of private art that is worthy of being in a portfolio. But for absolute safety, I'd need to password-protect my websites or portfolios so the public doesn't have free access to them; only companies I'm applying to. But at that point, does password-protecting my resume and portfolio make it less likely I'd be hired due to the inconvenience? Due to the private, hard-to-find nature of my work? Being a YouTuber with great story skills and art skills with a fanbase could be a big plus to getting hired somewhere, but it could also be a horrible disadvantage that would get me fired. It's a double-edged sword that I cannot work around and I don't know what to do.

I've considered the video game industry, but even that isn't ideal. A lot of the indie ones I adore aren't made in the USA. Gris and Monster Camp were made in Spain. Ori and the Blind Forest: Austria. Hollow Knight: Australia. Little Nightmares and Raft: Sweden. LIMBO & INSIDE: Denmark. Outlast, Don't Starve, Spirit Farer, Bendy and the Ink Machine: Canada.

SuperGiant Games did Hades, Transistor and Bastion and is located in SF, but they're not hiring. Janimation, a multi-media company located in Texas isn't hiring. Frederator in New York isn't hiring.

I don't want to work for a studio that does nothing but first-person shooters or sports games. If I want to get into the gaming industry, I probably need to crowdfund and make a company to make a game myself.

If I make my own game, which I've wanted to do for a long time now and still want to... I can't code. I guess I could try to hire someone that could? But a game to the extent I want... I'd need to start small. I'd need to practice. It's several years of work. Will it even be worth it? I don't think I can do it alone. I'd need crowdfunding and workers; which again, here comes the "make my own studio" issue...

Do I even want to animate anymore? I prefer traditional animation in comparison to puppetry. I prefer 2D animation to 3D animation simply because it is more accessible. But even then, I'm finding myself drawn more and more to writing, storyboarding, and character design. If I were a 3D animator, this is mostly what I'd be working with all day: Naked models in an empty room. I'd do none of the physics simulation or texturing or lighting.

Animating naked & bald people all day... I don't know... 3D Animation kind of lost its appeal. You only work on such a small portion of a film, you almost never have the bigger picture. You won't see the final result until the film is done. As an animator, you're almost kept in the dark. Maybe that's how they want it anyway, since leaks are a huge issue they keep quiet under strict NDA.

But yeah, anyway... I'm an artistic digital generalist. I can do almost anything. 3D animation, storyboarding, writing, photo editing, illustration, rendering, modeling and so much more. It's hard to choose what you really want to be in this industry. I feel like Barry Benson dfklgjdflkjg

I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. There's gotta be a solution to this but I just can't figure it out. I don't want to give up my youtube channel so I can be an animator. I don't want to give up a safer, quiet countryside house to be able to survive financially. Am I even willing or able to move countries? Is my career more important than friends and family?

I think I'm thinking too much about everything. I should start small. Move less than an hour away first and move in with roommates to get a feel for independence instead of jumping into it immediately. Get a job at a small time company, maybe not for what I want at first, but it'll get me some experience and maybe I'll learn some things along the way to understand where I can go next. Take it slow and don't panic too much over trying to be a young big shot. Take things one day at a time? That's my current goal, I suppose.

So you know... to answer your question... why did I switch to youtube for a current career? Because of a classic existential & career crisis in my 20s. Will I ever go back to 3D animation? Maybe. Maybe one day.

[asyastudieskorean]

9/20/2023 — Hello, studying world. Today I start my journey of learning Korean with my first university Korean class (online). We didn't have any work on the first day, so all I did was read the syllabus (the most basic, non-informative syllabus I've ever read, ha), set up my new desk space, and updated my student bio on Canvas. I haven't been a college student for about 3 years, so it felt like I accomplished a lot. When the readings and assignments start coming in, I'm sure reality will hit.

I've always wanted to learn Korean, and my goal is to reach a near-fluent level, but I know it'll be hard, especially with my full-time work priorities. Eventually, being able to teach and work in translation is my goal. FYI, Chinese, Thai, and Japanese are on my list, too, but I'll be realistic and focus on one language for the foreseeable future.

Last week, as it so happens, I had to move from my family and childhood home, and I am lacking in the positivity department rn, so I think having a place to chronicle my studies and the progress I make will be good for me. I tend to start a new blog on here when I'm having a hard time, and it helps.

So, the plan is to take two full academic years of Korean (that's 3 quarters per year at my university). That's just how much Korean the school offers. I graduated in 2020 from this same university with a BA in English with a focus on professional and creative writing, and I really enjoyed the overall experience studying here.

I spent a whole lot of time obsessing over grammar, reading new and old literature, trying to understand poetry, and just enjoying the inner peace I felt when writing fiction. It was maybe my most happy time because I had no other real responsibilities or worries besides school. All I did was read and write.

Anyhow, fast forward to now, after pondering different language learning options (which are limited in my area), I decided to take my Korean classes at the university level because the classes will show up on my official university transcripts, and I imagine that will be best when I apply for future Korean-related jobs. I am also hoping that by taking university-level language classes, they will have some sort of superior level of... intensity? accuracy? efficiency? Something like that. Granted, this route isn't the best for my finances, as there is no aid for non-matriculated post-grads, and the cost of a single class is quite ridiculous. But alas, here I am, with an empty wallet and hope in my eyes.

Upon reading the syllabus today, which could basically be summarized as "TBD," I realized the textbook I bought, the textbook I waited over a week for, the one listed on the online course materials list, is, in fact, not the correct textbook.

And, icing on the bitter cake, the correct textbook appears to be a rare Pokémon that isn't available anywhere except the dark corners of eBay, where shipping will take at least 2 weeks. Like how did other students get this? Did they order it two months in advance? Meanwhile, I have my first assignments and readings due Monday.

I quite literally just sent an email to my professor and asked what I should do, so we'll see what she says, but I really wasn't hoping to be that one student, emailing the professor about an issue on day 1.

Since this is my first post here, here also is a tiny bit about me:

My name is Asya ("Asia"), and I'm a 24-year-old English grad based in Washington; no, not the one followed by DC, but the state with a lot of rain and trees. Twilight? Starbucks? Amazon? Yes, that one.

Since graduating in 2020, I've been a freelance editor and writer. I'm taking Korean both for passion and for work purposes, and I really should have started sooner. But I guess we're all on our own timelines.

I've been on Tumblr for a long, long time, but I've never been part of the studyblr sector. I'm glad to be here. :)