#I've been told I'm weird for pouring after I cut them up

[sweetmariihs2]

Since I got a Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney movie mostly) hyperfocus I've been wondering about some stuff:

Quasimodo poured molten bronze from the top of the cathedral onto the people below, especially Frollo.

1 - He didn't cared about the innocent citizens down there which is weird for his character - maybe it was the stress idk. Or he just knew that the closest ones from the cathedral were the guards, which is where the bronze would fall. But it could have spilled on anyone. Weird.

2 - In the following morning there was no molten bronze (or smoke, or even the stage where Frollo tried to burn Esmeralda) on the square anymore. And everyone was fine?

3 - Why was there molten bronze in Notre Dame, specially in that place? I don't know much about the Middle Ages but it doesn't seem normal for that fire to be lit all the time, it would be a waste of time and firewood. Logically, it would only be melted when a bell needed to be repaired, and Quasimodo was stuck in those chains since they got out of the Court Of Miracles, probably. So it makes no sense.

4 - Poor boy was probably starving there. It was the next day. (Edit: or maybe the Court Of Miracles scene just happened at the previous day 11:00 PM and the fire scene happened at the next day 03:00 AM, who knows?)

5 - I only heard it was molten bronze. First time I watched I got so confused, I'm pretty sure that they didn't said that on the movie. Also, I never heard about churches having that kind of dangerous material inside them. People fixed the bells there? People made them there? Help I'm so confused. Can someone answer me? With real pics please? I tried to make a research but couldn't find anything.

I would also point out that Frollo standed on a gargoyle he HIMSELF had cut in the middle. He dug his own grave. lmao. you can see the cut mark of the sword on the gargoyle next to his feet. I think that's not really obvious and someone out there didn't got it. I only did after like my fourth watch.

Something I also wonder is if the archdeacon told Quasimodo the full story of what Frollo did to his mother. And yes, you may think "of course, I would love to see it that way, Quasimodo deserves to know", and while I agree with you... imagine how he would feel when knowing that the archdeacon knew the truth for years and kept it from him. Let Frollo lie to him, let Frollo abuse him and tell him that his mother abandoned him because he looked like a monster, for years, years and years. He wouldn't be fine. I can only think about his rage when Frollo tried to stab him at the end of the movie or when Phoebus appeared right after Esmeralda escaped from Notre Dame. Poor boy would never be able to look at that archdeacon's face again.

Why did the archdeacon let Frollo just take care of Quasimodo after what Frollo did?! He clearly didn't wanted to take care of the baby, the archdeacon just pushed little Quasi onto his hands for Quasi to suffer! When someone is denying something, they may do it but they'll do it grudgingly. If it was something stupid than it would be fine, but that's a whole life in his hands. The archdeacon just forced abuse on Quasi for years. What did he thought? That because Frollo felt guilty he would be a good father? He knows Frollo's character and saw how reckless he acted with that child's life. And even worse, he could have stopped it. But no, he saw Quasimodo suffering for 20 years and just let it happen.

Just found this on pinterest:

THE GARGOYLES ARE ALIVE AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS. I also love them. Idc.

We see them interact with the environment around them all the time, mostly during the rebellion in front of Notre Dame by the end of the movie. I know that the sequel is not really good and maybe not even canon but Madeline sees them too. "They can be both schizophrenic" at the same time and seeing/hearing the same stuff? No way. Shut up I won't hear anyone out.

Quasimodo's pure heart and sweet - insecure behavior doesn't come from Frollo's childrearing. It comes from the Gargoyles and the insecurity Frollo buried into Quasi's head.

If Quasimodo was only raised by Frollo, he would be a thrash bag. He would have prejudice against the romani people, instead of just repeating in doubt what Frollo says during the scene where he shows the cathedral's terrace to Esmeralda. He also wouldn't be that sweet kind of guy who covers his view when suddently bumps into a girl changing her clothes. Basically he would be cruel and stupid, just like how Esmeralda said "How could such a cruel man have raised someone like you?"

And the answer is that: He didn't! Frollo taught him everything he needed to know, brought him food, and then left him alone for the rest of the day like we see him doing in the movie. You know who raised Quasimodo? The gargoyles. It's them who turned him into someone sweet and nice to have around. They're his adoptive parents in a way, you know?

And I also think that idea of them never showing themselves to humans but seeing that poor boy being left alone in that belltower made them want to do something about it. Make him some company, and teach him the right stuff - which is what Frollo wasn't doing right, just like everything else he does.

And I'M SURE, I JUST KNOW THAT IT WAS LAVERNE WHO DECIDED TO DO IT FIRST. She tried to convince Hugo and Victor about starting to help little Quasi, but they were afraid of doing it so. Laverne just said "you know what? I can't keep watching this in silence. Fuck it" and they just went along.

Also, something I learned in practice was that when you make someone insecure, convinces that person to believe they're less than anyone else and that they're stupid, dumb and ugly, this person tends to be extra nice to get approval of others. They don't even do it on purpose, the're just trying to make up for their appearence and stupidness through acts of kindess and service. And if that's done to them since a young age like it was done to Quasimodo, they do it unintentionally, and it turns into a personality trait. In a "I'm sorry for being like this. Let me make up for you" way. Like Quasimodo said "I know that I'm ugly", and in my opinion that's one of the worse ilnesses someone can have. It's not even a real ilness, and yet it's so damn hard to cure. Lmao that's totally not based on something I experienced, of course not. That's exactly why I absolutely don't kin Quasimodo. Of course not.

Children come into the world with a natural desire to discover and explore. To make Quasimodo so quiet and submissive, Frollo must have given the worst kinds of punishments to "discipline" him. He probably hit him more than once. Locked him somewhere? Maybe worse, Frollo tends to be quite creative when punishing innocent people. He broke all of Quasi's stuff he made for weeks, maybe years, just to scare him, and because he was angry.

It makes me even more worried to see how Quasi reacts to Frollo everytime they're together. He just reacts with fear and respect every time. Fear, mostly fear. What kinds of things hasn't this boy endured by disobeying or responding in a way that didn't pleased Frollo? To have to pick up the plates correctly and immediately sit down to study, and call him his "master" instead of just "Frollo".

I would also like to point out how Frollo stopped calling Quasimodo "Quasimodo" and started calling him "hunchback" closer to the end of the movie. That's how he sees him after all these years. A dumb, ugly and miserable guy who obeys him and is not even seen as a human. Have you ever watched The Goonies? You know that guy? Yes, that guy? I think that Frollo sees Quasi like this. The novel version reinforces this even more, with Quasimodo not being able to hear and barely talking.

I also headcanon that Disney's Quasimodo is still a bit deaf because of the bells. He can still hear, but lower. Sometimes his friends need to call his name twice.

And now these thoughts deserve a whole part of the post to discuss (Frollo and Esmeralda centered):

Frollo was probably considered ANCIENT because the life expectancy during medieval times was around 25-30 years. The guy was at his 66 years old.

1 - I know that in the book he's described as being afraid of woman, and a priest, so it made sense that he wasn't married. But that didn't happened in the movie. And as a (pervert) 66 yo old man, christian, white, powerful (judge and I still headcanon him as a fiefdom owner in the movie idc it makes sense in my head), traditional, who claims he's the only right person in the world and who does all kinds of atrocities, and who literally threatens (and tries) to kill Esmeralda if she refuses to "be his". Why didn't he had a wife? I mean, he could manipulate a woman or anyone for that matter if he wanted someone to... yk. I want to discuss more about this in the following topic.

What did Frollo meant when he said "Choose me or the fire"? I mean, there were three meanings for that quote in that context: "be in love with me", "hook up with me" or "be my wife (both, except that she would be stuck with him forever, and that's probably what he meant)"

Since he's a traditional christian guy and probably a sexist too based off his character, it would only made sense that he's the kind of guy to say "the man provides, the housewifes do the house chores and take care of the children".

As we see in 'Hellfire', he seems to support the purity culture, celibacy. And he's blaming himself for feeling attraction towards Esmeralda.

But this also can be for two reasons: because he choose celibacy, OR because she's a romani girl, which are people you know he despises. Or it can be both. That's also a doubt of mine.

Continuing my train of thought and taking this into consideration, Frollo feels extremely guilty for feeling attracted to her, and he claims "Destroy Esmeralda and let her taste the fires of hell; Or else let her be mine and mine alone" (I know you sang it).

Based off this, and knowing that Frollo is a radical (and hypocrite, but somehow he refuses to accept his lust for a long time) conservative christian, it would only made sense he would consummate after wedding. And by his word choices "let her be mine and mine alone", "choose me or the fire" sounds like he would like to MAKE HER HIS, PERMANENTLY. Maybe these words don't have this meaning? Maybe they're just about having her once? Maybe. But who knows. He's that kind of religious guy.

On the other way, he despises romani people and is disgusted of Esmeralda at the same time he's crazy about her. He calls her a witch, says it's her fault he was having those thoughts, "look at that disgusting display" (that classic kind of guy who says short skirts are innapropriate and too provocative but it's trying to look under them, iykyk). Basically he hates Esmeralda, who she is, despises her dance and calls it "disgusting display" and yet he's lusting over her. Considering this, it would only make sense he would do what he wants and leave her aside somehow, Frollo wouldn't want people to know that he married a romani girl, or a "vulgar girl" like her, maybe Frollo doesn't sees "the potential in her to be in a christian marriage", you know that that's extremely in character for him.

If Esmeralda had accepted his offer and did what he wanted, what would have happened? He would marry her and would exhibit her as a recanted woman? In a "I fixed her" kind of way, "and now she's my wife"? He would wipe all of her originality, personality and being out of her and turn her into his puppet like Elvis did to Priscilla in the movie "Priscilla", but worse? She would live an unhappy life with him and probably have his children too because this kind of guy believes in "only indulging in carnal acts when the purpose it's to reproduce"? Or maybe not, maybe he doesn't want children, but it doesn't matter because guys like him usually leaves all that on their wife's backs.

Also during the song "Hellfire" we see how fire Esmeralda "burns at the stake" and turns into smoke, flying into his direction with open arms. That's kinda metaphoric about him torturing her in that stake, stripping her of who she is and turning her into a ghost of herself. One that doesn't burn like flames, is softer, quieter, and willing for him and his twisted love - the kind of wife this kind of guy want.

While it also makes sense of him only having her once and considering Esmeralda "too promiscuous and part of the 'the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd', not good enough to be his wife", it's also possible that he's hinting about turning Esmeralda into a quiet, submissive and sad wife. "I can save you in this world and the other" maybe also hints at that, changing her so she's not "sinning" anymore by being who she is.

YOU KNOW WHAT? MADONNA AND THE PROSTITUTE THEORY ALL THE WAY UP. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

There's a great channel on Youtube called "Final Girl Studios" and the owner of the channel makes video essays, she LOVES to mention this subject. It fits perfectly what we're talking about.

And ALSO I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO MENTION HER ESSAY ABOUT THE MOVIE "VALERIE AND HER WEEK OF WONDERS". She talks about the Madonna and the prostitute theory and how the movie surrounds around this. And it's relevant to mention here that this movie has everything to do with the dynamic and topics discussed between Frollo and Esmeralda, not only in the Disney movie but also in the other adaptations and in the original novel.

I mean, it's a movie that's about a young girl called Valerie who just got into her puberty and spent a week finding out about how harsh the world is towards woman in general. So many things happen in this movie, but you can get what I mean when knowing that there's a scene when the priest tries to take advantage of her but fails because he remembered he should be celibate, and later then on the movie he tries to burn her at the stake, saying that she's a witch and seduced him to sin. Valerie then shows him her tongue.

Gosh that was so fun to take out of my chest and share. Someone needs to make a full post or video about how the Madonna x Whore subject is related to Esmeralda and Frollo. It's too much work for me, but maybe you guys would like to.

Also my friend mentioned about Esmeralda wearing different clothes during the stake scene. And yeah, okay, but if she was wearing different clothes, someone made her dress them, or dressed her themselves. She (my friend) was afraid that Esmeralda may have been assaulted or abused in any way during that period of time. I don't think Frollo did anything drastic like she does, or else he wouldn't be asking Esmeralda to "recant" and accept his offer.

[rockinlibrarian]

Post-Umbrella Academy S4 Reaction Part 3: Viktory!...ish (spoilers under cut)

If you're just joining me, Part 1 was a reaction to FANDOM'S reaction; Part 2 was a snippet of fix-it that poured out of me yesterday. Now to get into the nitty-gritty.

Let's start off the show-specific commentary with something, to counteract the online vitriol, I have the most genuinely positive feelings about (though also a few definite opinions on how it could have been improved): VIKTOR. VIKTOR MY BABY whom I have written 35,584 words from the point of view of (and almost as many ABOUT him from other povs) since last we saw him. I think I've mentioned in tags or something the weird possessive feeling I got just seeing him in trailer footage-- the same thing happened when season 3 of Legion came out and I saw the Loudermilks again. There's something about spending a lot of time in a character's head that makes me weirdly emotional about them after that.

Five is my favorite character from an objective what-an-absurdly-interesting-character standpoint, but Viktor has always been the character I've connected to most emotionally. I, too, have spent my life convinced I'm Nobody but desperately longing to be SOMEBODY. And he had the tragic arc I've been morbidly obsessed with since Lester Nygaard-- the doormat who finally stands up for themselves but it all keeps going horribly wrong.

He finally speaks up, tells his story to the world-- and it only further alienates him from his already-troubled family, and the one guy he most hoped WOULD read it immediately shelved it and never touched it again. (At least, in a possible future, it became an anchor and lifeline for Five. But I'm not sure Viktor ever canonically found out about that. All Five told him was that it was "ballsy," which is better than anything anyone else ever told him about it, but not about how he carried it everywhere he went for 40-some years and used it to keep all his most important home-going equations)

He finally gains the power he always longed for, but instinctively lashes out violently with it at every reveal of betrayal from people he trusted (and only one of those people probably deserved it).

He finally gets first chair, is the most extraordinary violinist the world has ever seen, and then-- well-- he blows up the moon.

Again and again, he ends up triggering apocalypses every time he steps out, takes a stand. He saves a little kid's life, and THAT action ends up eating up the entire universe.

He can't catch a break. All he wanted was to be a hero like his siblings, and it KEEPS. GOING. WRONG.

I am OBSESSED with this. I'm obsessed with this kid who cried when his brothers stepped on ants unwittingly destroying all life as we know it over and over again. I need him to break this cycle, I need him to prove that he CAN be powerful AND have good results, I need to see it as a fellow struggling-to-get-out-of-her-self-esteem-pit doormat who only wants to do GOOD, and I ache for him when he doesn't. But in a good way. Because it's fiction and I savor the angst.

Which brings us up to Season Four, under the cut.

So, six years have passed since Viktor got off mood suppressants, tasted power, came out as trans, and got asked by the brother who used to completely ignore him and once locked him in a sound-proof cell to serve as Best Man at his wedding. He's been living a completely new life! We saw in the trailers that he's a bartender, but then you get his location establishing shot and it turns out it's HIS BAR. HIS NAME IS OVER THE DOOR.

Reader, I reacted vocally, out loud, to this reveal. HE built and runs this genuinely nice bar all by himself! Look how WELL he is doing for himself! Okay, he can't maintain a relationship for the life of him (but that's okay, it's just he hasn't realized that Five is his Soulmate SORRY I WILL PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN) (also, I'm very tickled that his last girlfriend was named Amy. I'm flattered, really), but otherwise he has built a darn nice life for himself. (It gives me the same bittersweet feeling as this one Fiktor fic--there's your warning, don't like don't read-- by @sissytobitch10seconds, "Completely Alone," in which Viktor runs off to become a farmer without telling anyone. Sure, he's isolated himself from the family he once longed to feel a part of, and that's a little sad, but he's working well and quietly, and living fully and in peace, and I love that for him!)

And from here on out, you can just see how far he's come-- the confidence in the way he talks to the siblings he used to be in awe of! The way he doesn't hesitate to share his ideas-- and the way the others actually listen to his ideas now!

And then the majority of the season for him becomes coolly (and...sometimes not so coolly-- but much more in CONTROL than he was six years ago) standing up to the father who belittled, sedated, and gaslit him (or, a variation of said father, at least), and being respected back.

It was just so SATISFYING.

One little victory-- um, viktory?-- that stood out for me was when he had the idea to infiltrate a militia of cultists by Sharpie-ing an umbrella tattoo on his wrist. The symbolism of this action that had once been a sort of pathetic and misguided attempt at fitting in, he was now reclaiming it for purposes of pretending to fit in, a more important goal forefront in his mind-- it was a little thing but it touched my heart, how he was like, "Oh *I* know what to do! I used to do this all the time!" but this time it actually helped him be a hero.

And then the biggest full-circle moment: he insisted on trying to talk Ben down, to bring him back from the edge of blowing and destroying the world-- just like Ben had done for him at the end of season 2.

If only it had worked.

Anyway, I now direct you to the Venn diagram I reblogged the other day: I liked Viktor's arc: it made me really happy, in fact. It GENERALLY made in-universe sense. It could do with some major improvements as a piece of narrative storytelling, though, and that comes back to the overarching theme of Viktor I discussed before we got to the season 4 stuff.

In the first three seasons, the concept that he WAS the apocalypse was always hanging over his arc, even as he gained control of his powers and emotions and gained confidence in his place in the family. I would not have been happy if he really WAS cursed to always bring about destruction, but I want to see him explicitly break this curse, onscreen. But a lot of his personal growth happened off screen, between seasons-- which is generally a good thing, I'm so happy he's been doing so well-- but I feel like we should have at least acknowledged that the Curse of Being the Apocalypse was still hanging over his head as the season began, and THEN SHOWN him deliberately turning that around, AND THEN HE SHOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED.

Him trying to reach Ben was a start. It was symbolic and circular. But it ultimately didn't work, so bleh. Someone on the Elliott's House Discord suggested that what SHOULD have happened was that Viktor succeeded in removing all the Marigold in the world--from Ben, from his other siblings, from everywhere-- and taking it into himself (an action his long-desired powers had been shown to be capable of) , and then sacrificed himself into the Cleanse to save everyone else. BINGO, full-circle, the Apocalypse becomes the cure, the wannabe superhero becomes the ultimate hero. It's a bummer to have a hero die, but compared to what actually happened in show, this would have been one glorious, well-built-toward death, as opposed to a lot of completely hopeless, emotionally ill-timed deaths.

That would have been narratively a lot more satisfying. I would have accepted the death of my blorbo--sadly, but with acceptance-- if it had been so perfectly heroic in this way.

But I'll discuss the way the show actually ended-- which was, for me, the only serious bummer letdown of the season-- in a separate post.

Two more things about Viktor in season 4, before I go, though:

I appreciated that they at least acknowledged his violin-playing. I could not believe that a professional musician would utterly and completely turn his back on music, and they basically let it drop entirely in seasons 2 and 3. It wasn't just a plot device, it was his vocation, dangit! So when Abigail mentions it to him, and he says it's "really more of a love/hate thing," that makes it all make a little more SENSE. Yeah, sure, he's got QUITE a bit of trauma tied up in the violin now, I guess I'll accept that as an excuse for not getting back into it. I would have made a different choice for him, but at least you gave me a REASON, show, so thanks for that.

Secondly, look, I'm not so naive and deluded to believe that my warped, pseudo-incestuous ship would ever be canon, but Viktor and Five barely said a WORD to each other all season, and I wanted just ONE good one-on-one interaction between them, like we've had every other season-- just ONE MOMENT of the childhood besties/apocalyptic foils-for-each-other being more than distant random family passing like ships in the night. They SHOULD have stuck together at the end of Season 3, to be completely honest-- I did slip in a meaningful explanation for why they didn't in that fix-it scene yesterday-- but I'd settle for just...anything at all!...when they reunited. Ah well.

I was honestly just so happy that Viktor had grown so much, that I'm willing to accept a LOT of things-I'd-rather-have-happened not happening.

And that's where I'll leave this post. I'll make a few more-- at least one whole post about the end (going from my favorite part of the season to my LEAST favorite part of the season-- but I have a lot to say about it that is not just emotional ranting!), one post about the infamous love triangle (which I am not opposed to despite it going against my own ships, and I'll have lots to say about that, too), and at least one post of miscellaneous observations, if any of those topics don't jump out at me and demand I give them their own post as well.

[gerryrigged]

mmkay I've read the first two issues out of G0tham War and

(CUT FOR BIG SALT, lol)

this is so dumbbbbb oh my god 😭 like we knew it was gonna be dumb, artificial conflict, but LORDT.

everyone is OOC, even more than I expected, and the stupid, ridiculous plot hinges on the stupid, ridiculous idea that Selina's dumbass plan would ever, ever work. (Let's train ALL the henchpeople/goons (yes all of them) to be ethical 😌 non-violent catburglars 😌 like Selina 😌 who donate part of their profits to charity 😌 and only target rich people so they're really #hashtagvictimlesscrimes and then they don't have to work for dangerous Rogues and mobsters, yay, they're bettering their lives!!) (this is ~Sophisticated Social Commentary~!)

And it especially depends on her plan working astronomically better than the hundreds of millions of dollars Bruce has poured into similar outreach for the city over literal decades through the Wayne Foundation and other programs, creating and offering people jobs, support networks, etc. that aren't criminal in nature.

but oh, no one is going to bring that up (has the Martha Wayne Foundation ever even existed? haha, none of these Wayne kids know, apparently! they're just going to sit and twiddle their thumbs while Selina yells at Bruce that he's just "...clearly furious because [he's] wasted [his] fortune and [his] brain on bat-cars and punching people, and it took compassion to solve this problem").

Anyway, Bruce's efforts never meaningfully improved Gotham (cough because Batman stories can't be told without a crime-ridden Gotham cough), while Selina's (gasp) actually have! Somehow!

because the Power of Plot demands it, her cartoonish plan apparently works SO well that violent crime is down almost 75%!! wowiee, Catwoman is actually fixing Gotham, which no one has ever been able to do before!! who needs Batman, haha! that's such egg on your face, Batman, how come you never thought of doing something like this before, haha. Just convince the criminals to be non-violent, Batman, haha, what like it's hard. Ha.

So anyway, gosh, the Batkids (minus Damian, who's siding with Bruce, and Jason, who, harkening back to his "control crime" roots, 100% supports Selina) are conflicted. It feels ~weird~ just blithely letting burglars walk right past them into people's homes, but the ~numbers don't lie~, Batman, it's ~working~, maybe we shouldn't interfere and just see where this goes, like Selina asked! Aren't you being a little unreasonable walking out of this both-sides-might-have-a-point debate, Batman?? Also, ohhh nooo, you shouldn't push back so hard against her people because we don't want to start a ~war~, Batman!

I'M GONNA FACEPLANT INTO MY KEYBOARD IT'S SO ABSURD. How can you write anyone in-character when you're stuck twisting them in knots to accommodate such an absurd premise?

And then, when one of Selina's "graduates" is shot and killed during a break-in by a scared woman who'd unexpectedly stayed home when she was supposed to be out of town, the Batkids (minus Damian) act like it's somehow unexpected/out of control for Batman to bring down the hammer on Selina's operation? Like a man didn't just die because of the path Selina set him on? Like a massive surge in crime targeting the rich isn't going to eventually have more such incidents and ramifications down the line, as backlash and escalations hit? Like rich people are not known for vigorously defending their property?? What is your long-term plan here, Selina??

Batman isn't even shown being excessively violent in rounding up Selina's people (for Batman, lol) - just relentless. But Tim shows up and tries to talk him down as if he's putting petty crooks in the hospital again like after Jason's death (he just lasso'd that crook's legs and growled at him?? what is so over the top about that, in vigilante context?? this is completely normal Bat behavior??), making noises about Bruce's health and taking it easy, and oooo, nothing's black and white...

And Dick goes, "He's on a rampage, he's out of control" (WHERE? LITERALLY WHERE? are you perhaps referring to the murderous police-state robot he built and accidentally unleashed on Gotham a few arcs ago (which was ACTUALLY bad and over the top), because there is nothing in this event so far???). And Tim worries about how Batman was so angry, he's worried about what he's going to do, how far he's willing to go, and Babs is like if Selina asks for help, I'd be inclined to give it.

Like if they'd actually showed Bruce escalating and going out of control, losing it on these non-violent thieves, I wouldn't be so enormously peeved about this aspect of it. Granted, I'd still be hella mad about people like Cass and Dick and Tim thinking about supporting Catwoman's (IDIOTIC) plan, especially after a man just died, but they've all seen Bruce go off the rails before, they're very familiar with having to oppose him on those occasions.

But the way this is set up??? No. Just no. Bruce is pissed about the one thief dying, he's not trying to kill the rest of them??

It doesn't make sense, and they all come across as painfully out of character. Standing aside and letting certain crimes happen as a matter of standing policy, because they're Catwoman's people - like you can count on nobody getting hurt because Selina just trained them so well - are you kidding me, what happened to these kids' principles?? Writers and Editorial I am IN YOUR WALLS, STOP CONTORTING CHARACTERS JUST TO FIT THE DUMBASS STORY YOU WANT TO TELL.

Dick: I'm gonna head into Gotham and see if I can talk Bruce off his "moral ledge."

QUOTE UNQUOTE MORAL LEDGE??? DICK GRAYSON of all people referring to Bruce's adherence to his Mission and his Code with sanctimonious, condescending scare quotes???? Like he doesn't also believe in "no life is an acceptable loss" to a reckless, at times self-destructive degree??? Huh????

And this absolutely DUMBASS fight scene where all of the Batkids (minus Damian) fight against Bruce, but the all-powerful Bat-god doesn't need strategy or contingency plans to handle the most dangerous and highly trained vigilantes on the planet, he just goes ahead and one-shots Cass (lmfao????) and Duke and then Steph and Tim at the same time and only Dick and Jason even land blows on him for ~some reason~.

UUUUGH.

Funnily enough, outside that stupid-ass fight scene, Bruce is one of the ones who seems least out of character, considering everything he's been through recently, his paranoia about becoming old and unnecessary and only feeling at home in his Batman suit (we've certainly seen that before 🙄), his Code, and not to mention Zur-En-Arrh (and also a shadowy something else?) lurking in his psyche whispering to him, clearly not actually constrained by the cage Bruce thought he was locked in.

I'm 100% blaming instability and Zur for the bits where Bruce is more obviously wilding (mainly when fighting Jason), but like - at least he has reasons built into the narrative to be slipping like that? Everyone else is just acting that way because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, I guess.

This would all be much more enjoyable if they'd found a way to make Selina's side less ridiculous/more convincing. Like I would actually be interested in seeing Zur-En-Arrh twist Bruce's mind against his family. It was fun for that brief period in the Failsafe arc because we got to see Bruce fight against and eventually overcome it! But I can't even enjoy it here when the whole thing is so frikkin' stupid and being written terribly.

Like clearly Bruce is going to go way, way more off the rails fairly quickly from here, given how Zur is straight up fucking with him at the end (and Vandal Savage??? okay Jan). So siding against him will rapidly become more obviously reasonable, I assume. I just hope the (small) bits where like, Tim expressed worry about Bruce's wellbeing are expanded on, and shared by other characters (Dick??? Cass???), so they can help him with this mental breakdown rather than it being constantly hostile/adversarial.

...Admittedly a bit intrigued by the big Rogue Gathering, teaming up as they don't have minions to do their bidding anymore. Like, fun, evil backlash resulting from Selina's (STUPID) plan? Good! And also a compelling reason for the good guys to eventually band back together and heal this rift? Well, hopefully. :/

[kiwikipedia]

15 Lines Game

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.

Tagged by @purgetrooperfox hoo hee

not tagging anyone but anyone is free to do this :)

“You’ve been starin’ down at your drink for like, ten minutes. The ice melted. Here, just take this one.” Sylv tapped the new glass and Fox glanced at the one between his hands— True to her words, the ice to his drink had melted to nothing.

“You two better not be breakin’ my shit in there, Enbo!"

“Dex is an old god," Sylv scoffed, holstering her blaster as she glanced at Nomi. "He can take care of himself. He knew the risks of staying.”

“You should get out soon, though, I have a feeling it's only going to get worse. We still don't know why the Clones flipped their lids and why the Senate declared the Jedi traitors.”

“How is it that we always end up in this predicament?” she complained, shaking her head a bit as they ran.

“If you forgot, you fucking dumbass, toxins have no effect on me,” she said simply with a roll of her eyes. “And that includes Dioxis."

“He’s dropped by the Clover before. Saccha doesn’t like him, neither does Ajina. I don’t think Charlotte does either, but that’s besides the point,” she hummed, pulling the silver lighter out from her coat pocket. “The point is he’s acting different than he usually would. Keep an eye out.”

“Betcha Eval gets off to watching shit like this then!” she hummed as she moved out of the way of another deadly spike.

“Let’s get out of here, Embabe,” she hummed, making him chuckle a bit. “What? I don’t want to end up like Onca and Kiara, the boss wives wouldn’t like that very much and I have things to do back at my place!”

“You’re just acting weird is all,” she hummed, brushing a bit of dust off of her coat. “Hey, Embo. Welcome to the party.”

“But it’s only a fifty-fifty shot,” Sylv chimed in, “Let’s hope your gamble is correct, if not we’re throwing you through and hoping your body hits the switch instead.”

“I’m a bartender, I help people. I have things to do and would like to be out of here quickly. This entire thing is a waste of time.”

“As soon as his precious emperor is gone, Vader’s like a rabid dog without a leash."

"White Clover is open to anyone, Republic or Separatist, Senator or Clone. As long as you don't cause problems, I don't care," Sylv said casually, as if she hadn't just stabbed the spot between Obi-Wan's fingers with the massive knife she had been using to cut fruit. "This is my Bar, my rules. Deal with it."

"Yeah well, Morrak listens, you don't. Therefore, he's my favorite between the four of you here."

Emilia's below the cut because I love her

“Depends on how mad you all make me,” she mused. “But I know as soon as we’re in the clear, I’m taking a small break. Heading out to Germany to check on Kimberly’s husband and family.”

“But I've lost people under my care. It’s not a good feeling when so many wounded are pouring in. But I didn’t have time to stop, it was only after the fighting had ended that I could process it. Dazed and not totally there for me, I think I cried sometime in that time span."

“It’s not like we can do anything about it, though,” she told them, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Big wigs decided it all. If you’re that cautious then come meet him when he lands.”

“Standing around, König?” Emilia asked, tone flat and as dry as the desert they were in.

Emilia looked back at the door, before shrugging. "Door's broken. Truck's broken. We're working on it."

"I used a dose of horse tranq because thats what it takes to get Grinch down. Don't tell Sandman."

"Look, I'm not even 141, I got my boys to take care of and some British SAS to hunt down, here's more tranq syringes, and now I'm leaving forever," Sturgeon huffed, handing Roach a case that was likely full of the said tranquilizers.

"Alright, I'm done here. Someone tell Nocte not to look for me if he needs something," Emilia said, handing her pack over to Seowoo "I'm walking into the woods and if I'm not back before nightfall, I have fallen into a quagmire and died. Goodbye."

"The 141 went where? Jesus, why am I not surprised that Price ended up in a Gulag... not our problem, though, Overlord just sent over new orders for us."

"I never pinned you for a coward, and yet here you are, crawling back to the people who thought you were dead because you ran away."

"Oh feel free to tell Nightingale about the bullet in your arm, just get ready to head back home because he will be removing that arm from your body. It's your choice."

"Pack it up, boys. Lee's taking us all to wafflehouse as soon as we're boots back on US soil. And I know Sandman hates wafflehouse."

"Some days, I wonder, if I should've asked those bastards to just shoot me in the skull instead of assuming I'd bleed out and die," Emilia sighed, setting her drink down as she sat. "Because watching this soap-opera? Worse than death."

"Hey, props to the 141 for being forced to watch all this shit up close, but that's as far as I'm gonna give it. Because if I see those two acting like lovesick puppies, I'm gonna take Ghost's balaclava and puke in it."

"Did I just give you the little blue pills with the imprints K 85 on them? Because if so, see you later space cowboy. Enjoy that nap.”

[pbandjesse]

And that ends our second week of camp. And it was a better week. We didn't lose power as much. The air quality was better. The food improved. There was other issues for sure but it was a good week.

And today was a pretty good day. I had trouble sleeping. There was a prank last night that went wrong and there was all the screaming around 11:00 and it was very unsettling. Which then led to a big silly conversation in the group chat. And I did fall asleep but then I woke up again at 5:00 and when I woke up for real at 8:00 I fell out of the hammock and startled myself real bad. But I had to get ready and things would be okay it just take me a little while to get myself together.

When I was dressed and everything I worked on cutting the rest of the looms that we would need for today and then was just chilling and waiting for the day to start. I took a little walk and I'm for the time I got back and settled again Tatiana was there. And we got to work on any prep we needed for the day. CJ would also join us and it was really nice to see her. I had found her water bottle so I was good to get that back to her. And she told me that besides the prank last night there was also some possible people leaving camp. I've heard at least three people so far. And the prank that went wrong was because the stockade boys went to do like a sort of ding dong ditch situation over in the girls village, but then the girls chased the boys back to stockade. We're the rest of the stockade boys were on top of the gate and poured ice water on them. The ice water part apparently was not approved and the counselors got all their phones ruined. So it's kind of a nightmare. I'm not sure if someone was fired because of that but I would not be surprised. Property damage is no joke.

CJ left and me and Tati continued to work on the stick looms for the little kids. And then I set up the loom that I brought in to make a bigger piece and she worked on her loom and it was just really nice.

And the groups were pretty good today. I had to be a little strong worded with a few of them because they were being disrespectful about the project. But it was just like one or two. Overall the kids really liked the weaving and this was a really successful project. I had one little boy at the end of the day tell me he has been coming to camp for 3 years and that this was their favorite project of any project that they've done and it just made me feel really good.

After my two morning groups I went down to get lunch. I did forget the specialty ketchup. But it was fine. We had weird vegetarian chicken sandwiches. And we had a couple CITs sitting at our table so I went to sit outside and everyone came and joined me. While we were sitting there I made a specialty staff group chat and I called it the most specialtiest chat. And I made a tiny bus the avatar. For the most special staff members.

After lunch I went for a walk again and went up to arts and crafts to make sure that everything was set up for the afternoon. And my group would not be on time. Because right before they were supposed to come there was really bad lightning and thunder. It was the whole reason I had left the lodge early. Only a few minutes earlier than I normally did but I didn't want to get trapped down there. And so I went up hung out in my hammock until it was raining too much and then came under the tent to chill. A child had given me their plushie to fix so I worked on that and then the thunder got really bad so I checked on Tatiana inside. And I tried to figure out if my groups were coming.

They were all held up in the lodge because they couldn't walk them across the field. But once there was a lull in the storm they did come up and originally I was going to have them go outside but then this guy got really really dark so I brought them inside and we worked on the floor and they were the littlest camper so they didn't really mind. And they did a pretty good job overall. And I was really happy with their counselors because they really were engaged with the kids and we're doing a very good job. We had music going and everyone was doing art and it was great. He only real issue was that because it was storming they couldn't leave and so we did not get our half an hour afternoon break. I was a little sad about that.

But once the storm let up they were able to go and collected all of their art and then tipis came and I talked to all of them about what they were going to be doing. And I was able to convince two of them to be my test subjects for metal casting.

And it was so fun. It was really interesting seeing what they figured out and I let them aged you too so that we could make some test ones and make some mistakes and we figured out that the metal getting poor directly under the ground and then while it's a little dirty it does not really matter. And so we played with that for a while and I made a little bear as an example but he's a little strange. It's definitely hard to pour the metal but it is going much better than I was expecting on that scale. And the two kids I was working out with were just really fun.

I checked on the kids outside periodically too and they were making bracelets and beating and having a blast. I'm really glad I have new beads coming though because while Julie had given me some and they're great there's not a lot of bracelet string left like the stretchy kind. And it would be nice to have more colorful stuff. So hopefully that will be here soon.

I also helped a boy who was working on his homestead coup. And he had to make a quilt square and I got him to cut little squares to sew them together into the quilt square. Just a really simple one but he had to do three lines of stitches. His first two went well. He has trouble threading the needle but that's fine. The third one though he did inside out and I said no you are not going to get a right off for me you did it wrong. So I cut it off and you could just tell he was so upset. He wasn't like showing it but he's like I just want to be done and I'm like I get that but also you're not going to rush through it and not do it correctly. You're two means nothing and you shouldn't get an award if you're not going to do it right. So I made him do it again.

I'm serious about this like if you're going to come to me to get something signed up you're going to do it right or you're not going to do it at all. I really don't think that I'm being unreasonable. I think there should be standards.

But that was fine. Tipis cleaned up and they headed out just as my last group of the day showed up.

Am I supposed to do a really good job. It was really just a nice way to end the afternoon and end the week. I cannot say as much for their counselors. Who were mostly sitting inside and not engaging with the kids at all. But you know what I don't care. I was having fun and that's important as well. I did not have it in me to go and ask them to get there stuff together because at this point it's Friday and if you haven't figured it out that's not my problem. I'll talk to Ray about it maybe next week if it continues.

Once everything was cleaned up I said goodbye to Tatiana and everyone else and closed up the building. I walk down to the office to check in with Heather. I told her that I didn't feel great because I have a weird cough in the back of my throat and just like a little uncomfortable. And I really just wanted to go home. She said that was fine and I did not need to help with pick up if I did not want to. And so I said goodbye and I went home.

I did check in with Alexi right before I left. Reminded her that I had to leave at 2:00 on Monday.

And then I was on the road. I got back here around 5:00. I had a little trouble parking because I was crooked. And she had to get out and check and park again. But it was not that pic of a deal. I was really happy to come inside and see James and James made me leftover pizza while I took a shower. And it was very nice to wash my hair.

I kind of fell apart after that though. Eating the pizza was good. James also has put the air conditioner on. Sweetp was here and I love sweetp. And James would go and get ice cream and that was so kind. But I felt horrible for a couple hours there. I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I am almost sure it was dehydration but I was just really uncomfortable.

Now though it is time to go to bed. Tomorrow I have the market. And I might go to Canton crossing because I have some stuff I want to pick up and I think it's finally time to replace my flip-flops from high school. They have finally fall apart too much. I tried cleaning them this week and they just started to disintegrate. So that's pretty sad. But these things happen. It was time. I've had them since I was 17. Honestly they might be older than that I don't even know. But I hope tomorrow is a good day and I hope that the weather is nice. I hope it's not so humid anymore. I hope you all sleep well. Good night everybody.

[violetjedisylveon]

Dark Green Skies

Summary: After successfully finding new recruits for the coven, Hunter is bewildered by his new friends and sister's attitudes about the situation. His sister clearly knows something he doesn't.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Fighting, violence, implied child abuse, fear.

A/N: Enjoy the chapter!

Blue Guard AU link here.

________________________________________________________________________________

Hunter grabbed the crow phone off the nest pole, he was sweaty and dirty but he felt great! Flyer Derby practice was awesome! These witches really were the best and brightest! They had the makings of great coven members!

"Call Darius." He ordered the phone.

It beeped and dialed.

"Darius, it's me!" He shouted

"What the- How did you get this number?" Darius shouted.

"Silver gave it to me."

"How did she get it?" Darius grumbled.

"Doesn't matter. I've found some incredible recruits at Hexside. I'm earning my place, just like you told me!" He said excitedly.

Darius said something he couldn't pick up.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Caleb! Waiting on you, buddy!" Captain called to him.

"I gotta go, but you'll meet them soon." He hung up and ran over to his team.

Opposite to them was another team, lead by an abominations professor by the looks of it, some other witch ran up, excited to play.

"Thanks for asking me to join, guys! I think we're gonna have a-" he broke off mid sentence with a gasp, eyes on Viney.

"Jerbo?" Viney made a cut throat gesture, "Traitor." She hissed.

"Oh, drama, this game will be way more interesting." Argi said from the sidelines where she was munching on a snack, Palistrom twigs if he had to guess.

Hunter got onto Flapjack in the line up, ready to play.

"All you got to do is fly high and snag some flags." Captain instructed.

Hunter nodded, ready for the game.

"Let's see what you can do, Captain." The professor captain said.

The abomination blew a whistle, abomination goo shot out, blocked. The game had begun.

Hunter teleported to a nearby kid and stole their flag, holding it out for Gus. The younger boy snatched it up and whizzed towards the pole and hung the flag. 

"Gus, that was amazing!" Hunter cheered.

Gus smiled back at him, then jerked up to evade a shot of abomination goo, it headed straight for Skara and hit her legs, causing her to crash.

The whistle blew so she could be collected from the field, Hunter noticed her left leg was acting weird, it wasn't moving naturally, it was almost mechanical movement. Argi was focused on the same thing.

The enemy had a point now.

A tie.

Viney went down next, crashing into Jerbo, the professor was frustrated at his team.

"She's right there! Can't you see?" The professor shouted, pointing to the captain.

Hunter teleported next to him and snatched his flag.

"Boo." He teleported away.

The captain yelped, he looked down, she was falling, somehow she'd lost grip, she had flags, the professor had cheated.

Hunter made a nosedive straight for the captain. She reached out her hands, the flags with them, it was clear what she wanted him to do. He grabbed the flags and shot up, glancing down relieved to see her safe on a flower cushion. Gus gave him a shove, kinda the way Argi would.

"Go, go, go!" He shouted.

Hunter shot towards the pole, ignoring the sounds of a crash behind him, he was so close to victory. He swung around, hanging all the flags.

He did it.

He did it!

He won!

He won for his team!

He landed, and something wet and red was poured over his head. He thought it might have been blood, but it wasn't thick enough. Everyone on his team started cheering.

He won!

He won for them!

They were proud of him!

"May I please have your team name?" The professor asked.

It went silent.

"Shoot. We never thought of a name." Captain said.

"The... Emerald Entrails!" Hunter blurted out.

His teammates stared at him, he felt put on the spot.

"You know, because... we're green, and there's... more to us... than you think?" He said, smiling awkwardly and fearing rejection.

They were quiet for a second, thsb started chanting enthusiastically.

"Entrails! Entrails! Entrails! Entrails!" They all shouted.

"Entrails team photo! We're number one!" Captain shouted.

She pulled out her scroll to take the picture. Hunter didn't quite know what he was supposed to do, he put how he was feeling into his face and let that happen. He hoped he didn't ruin their first photo.

Captain snapped the photo and looked pleased with it.

Hunter felt an exhilarating rush of adrenalin and the tingling hadn't stopped, he was so excited he was shaking a bit. He'd never had this much fun before with anyone who wasn't Argi, and he'd almost walked out, he needed to thank her later for convincing him to stick around.

"You should apologize to them too." Flapjack pointed to his team.

He gave his Palisman a nod and made his way over to them.

"I can't believe I almost bailed on you guys. Today was amazing! Thanks for giving me another shot." He told them, unable to truly express how grateful he was to them in words.

"Always nice making a new friend. I had an opening for one." Viney gave Jerbo a glare, he winced and edged away.

Captain walked closer, she looked happy with him.

"We wouldn't have gotten here without you." She told him.

 "Yeah, I shouldn't have been so suspicious." Gus admitted.

This is the time!

"We can forget all about that when we play next time... as a part of the Emperor's Coven!" He shouted.

All of his teammates looked at him like he was crazy. Then Gus turned angry.

"The what?!" He yelled.

"Caleb, what are you talking about?" Skara asked nervously, her arms were shaking.

"My name isn't Caleb. It's Hunter! And I'm the Emperor's right-hand man. The Golden Guard!" Hunter told them excitedly.

Surprisingly, they didn't seem any more keen on it than before. Argi popped up beside him, and they all shrieked.

"This is Silver, she's my sister and the Blue Guard." He introduced her.

"Hey." She waved and tilted her helmet up to shove another leafy twig in her mouth.

Captain edged away from them, staying in front of her team, she was giggling nervously.

"...Y-Y-Y-You can't be serious? You're not the one Luz... told us about, right?" She asked timidly.

Her eyes flicked to Argi, widened upon seeing her helmet.

"And you! You're the one who was at the coven day parade!" She stated.

"Yep, that's us alright!" Hunter nodded to Flapjack

He flew upwards and transformed into his staff. Hunter grabbed it and waved, changing back into his standard uniform. He put the mask on last. Argi gave him a sarcastic clap.

"Yeah, this would usually look cooler with the cloak, but... I don't have it at the moment. Long story." He shrugged.

His ears twitched, someone was coming. He glanced at Argi, she was calm, so it wasn't trouble. The entrails gasped in alarm as multiple coven scouts appeared and surrounded them. I didn't order this…

"Whoa there, scouts. I didn't give you orders to come here." He told them.

"Darius sent us to collect your recruits, sir." Steve informed him.

That was very smart of Darius.

"Ah, okay. Very good. Then there won't be any delay in branding you with coven sigils and taking you away from your friends and family forever. Hooray!" He spun his staff around while he talked.

"Way to sell it Hunter." Argi said sarcastically.

He ignored her comment, Captain, Gus and Viney all looked angry, while Skara looked overwhelmed, tears at the corner of her eyes, heavy breathing too. She suddenly started crying.

"Alright, time to go." Steve said.

Skara whipped around on Steve and punched him in the helmet, which dented from the force of the punch. He was sent to the ground, Hunter winced.

"Yikes, that'll leave a mark." He commented.

XXX

"Here."

A brute guard dropped Skara's prosthetic near Argi, she barely caught it before it hit the ground. The 'recruits' were being disarmed, apparently a leg counted as a weapon.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked.

"You work for Nazik, you've worked on prosthetics before, you can fix it, no one else knows how." The guard explained.

Argi grumbled but didn't say anything else. Instead, she watched the group be placed into the holding cell, like criminals almost. Skara was being supported by her captain on the way in, Willow. She's a good, kind leader, that's for sure. She set the leg down and got to work fixing it.

It was like a bit Miss Nazik's, it was made of metal on the outside, and used a specialized oracle-abomination system to function, the oracle aspect of it connected it with the body and mind so it would respond, and that triggered the abomination goo to move the leg around the way it was supposed. This kind of prosthetic was fairly expensive, most people just used the abomination limb from Blight Industries.

Her fingers brushed on chipped paint, the leg had been colored and textured to match Skara's skin, the paint had chipped recently. Seeing as Skara was an above the knee amputee, if her surgical scar was any indication, some accident had happened. Maybe it was a while ago, and her parents had money, so, logically, they'd want to keep this sort of thing in the family and out of their social and business circles.

She started cleaning out the knee joint, excess debris would make the leg malfunction. Her ear flicked back as the group's Palisman staffs were leaned against the wall.

"Okay, listen, I'm sorry about this whole cell thing, but did you really have to punch Steve, Skara?" Hunter was talking to his former teammates.

"I get it. Emotions are running high. Ice pack for Steve." Steve said.

"Well, I don't get it. You're joining the best coven there is. You can keep all your magic, you get free room and board, you can even play Flyer Derby on your day off! Well, this year's day has already passed, but next year's only 52 weeks away!" Hunter was saying.

Argi stopped, it was as clean as she could get it with what she had here, and turned to see Hunter looking at his friends with confusion on his face.

Argi understood the apprehension they had towards joining the coven. Some methods were… questionable and sometimes coven members did shady things. So it was logically understandable to her. Maybe not to Hunter, she dealt with the nitty gritty dirty stuff, and he was the Golden Guard. The covens, Uncle, was infallible to him.

"We don't care! None of us want this!" Skara shouted.

Argi got up with the leg in hand.

"You will eventually. Trust me, I'm your friend now." Hunter said confidently.

"Friends don't stab each other in the back!" Gus growled.

"Sure they do. The Coven Heads do it all the time back at the castle," Hunter paused as Argi came up.

"C'mon Sil, back me up here." He nudged her.

She raised an eyebrow at him. This was your idea. 

"I don't think the coven heads are friends, they tolerate each other at best." She shrugged.

She didn't have a strong concept of adult friendships and relationships, but a few of the coven heads definitely cared about each other beyond a strictly professional level. She teleported herself into the cage. They all edged away from her, she ignored it and went to where Skara was sitting on the cell bed.

"I've got your leg as clean as I can get it here, I don't have the right tools. Sorry." She apologized.

She knelt down and helped get the leg reattached.

"How do you know what to do?" Skara asked, there was less anger and more curiosity in her voice.

"My mentor's got an arm like it, I help her when she's too busy to do it herself." Argi explained with a shrug.

A sour, bitter scent hit her nose, her head snapped towards the source. Willow. She was sitting with her back facing everyone, Argi glanced at Hunter, he was looking at her too.

"I... thought I... could be good at this." Willow muttered.

Argi smelled disappointment, regret, dislike, loathing that bordered on hate coming from the witchlet. Hunter's smile vanished.

"But we're here because... I made a bad call…" her voice transitioned into a small sob.

"i-I'm just... half-a-witch Willow! I can't do anything right!" Willow grabbed her head, covering her ears in a way that was too familiar.

Argi glanced at Hunter again, he was completely out of his field here. He could handle her emotions well enough, sometimes, but this, it was new to both of them. Argi approached carefully, gently tapping on Willow's shoulder with a tail.

"Hey, you are good at this. You got him to pull the stick out of his ass and have a bit of fun for once, and you're a good, strong, caring leader. What happened, this, it isn't your fault, it's just wrong place, and wrong time. Stuff like that happens more often than you think, no need to feel bad over it." Argi told her, trying to mend the situation with her limited comforting and social skills. Most of them were phrases she'd heard from Miss Nazik.

"And, I think you guys can get off the hook, you're too young, gotta be fifteen." Argi dropped her voice into a whisper.

Hunter watched his sister from outside the cage, a bright yellow showed out of her eye slits. She was better at talking to people than he was, he already knew that, but it hadn't occurred to him that she was such a convincing liar. Nothing, not her posture, her eyes, nor body language gave away she was lying. She was, the coven took in recruits as young Gus, those usually dropped out, or died, too young for it.

How many times has she lied to me like that? He couldn't stop the thought from forming. It was a good question, logically, he should have a way to know if she was lying to him, but she wouldn't lie to him, right? Course not.

She was his sister, she wouldn't lie to him. Without a good reason.

The cage door shutting brought him out of his thoughts. Argi stared at him, the bright yellow was changing to a light red.

"Hunter, I think we should-" She broke off as the team collectively shouted.

Abomination goo came from nowhere and wrapped around the team completely and they vanished. A scout was taking the Palisman, now caged, outside.

Darius is here! I can show him I've earned my place! Excitement coursed through him.

Hunter ran out the door, Darius's ship was floating outside the precinct.

"Darius, I did it! I found recruits!" He shouted up to the coven head.

"Yep, and you're making me work on my day off. Take this and quit bugging me." Darius sounded grumpy.

Hunter's cloak was summoned and flicked towards him. It landed on his head, he pulled it down, the Guard's sigil stared out at him, he touched it, his fingers brushing on the patch he'd sewn there.

"I can... wear this proudly now. Right?" Hunter looked up hopefully to Darius.

"Can you?" Darius asked.

Yes, of course I can! He thought, though the thought wasn't convincing.

"See you at the castle, Golden Guard." Darius waved him goodbye and his ship took off.

The door opened. It was Steve, Argi too.

"I do not envy those kids, man." Steve sighed.

"Me neither." Argi agreed.

"What do you guys mean? They just have to go through basic training before becoming scouts. It's not too bad." Hunter said, shrugging.

"Dude, do you even remember what we had to do? The duels. The mazes with the traps. That time we were left alone on a mountain?!" Steve said.

"Classic." Hunter laughed.

"Uh huh. 'Classic'." Argi scoffed.

What's her problem today?

"And of course Belos likes to collect everyone's palisman." Steve reminded him.

Hunter remembered the many times he'd seen Belos crack open a Palisman and consume the wild magic essence inside. His gaze found Argi's, and Phoebe's. The old Palisman was staring at him with an uncomfortable intensity.

"Oh, right. He does that…" Hunter muttered nervously.

He'll take their Palisman too. He takes everyone's. Those Palisman are already dead.

"Steve is beginning to regret his choices." Steve grunted as he walked off.

Hunter stared after Darius's ship in the distance, he glanced down at the cloak in his hands.

"I think Hunter is too." He whispered.

Argi tapped his shoulder, he looked over to her.

"Well then, what are you gonna do about it?" She prompted.

Hunter turned back to the ship in the distance.

"Something stupid."

He mounted Flapjack's staff and took off for Darius's ship, Argi right on his heels.

She teleported ahead of him.

"We'll need to hurry if we want to catch up to them." She shouted, the wind carrying her voice back to him.

Argi teleported again once Hunter reached her position. She could feel Hunter's conflicted desperation, his mind was a whirlpool right now, and it was taking a lot to keep herself from getting sucked in.

"You got a plan?" She asked.

"Convince Darius to let them go." Hunter answered.

"And how are you going to do that?" She pressed.

"I… don't know… I'll figure something out."

"Well you better hurry, we're almost there." She advised her brother.

The flying ship was within teleporting distance for her. She made the jump and her feet hit the floor of the airship. She picked up the faint glow of an illusion being cast, the illusions prodigy trying to fool them. I can play this game too. She went invisible.

"Darius!" Hunter shouted as he appeared next to the startled coven head.

"Now!" Willow shouted.

The illusion team ran to the side of the ship and jumped off. The real team was heading for the controls, going up onto the ship's frame. Argi got there first and knocked the illusion caster off the beam, she made sure he didn't hit the ground too hard. She deactivated her spell.

"Hi~" She waved as the rest of the team dropped down.

"Viney, Gus! Land the ship! Skara, help me!" Willow ordered, distracting Darius with a flurry of plants.

Argi glanced at Hunter and Darius, they were distracted by Willow and the Bard. They wouldn't see her going easy on these guys.

Argi smirked and traced a false smile over her mask. The metal bent and shifted away from her mouth, showing off her fangs in a threatening display.

"Be careful, I bite." She warned.

She ducked and blocked as the witch tried to take a whack at her with her reclaimed Palisman staff. Clearly, they hadn't been trained in staff based combat like she was. Another clumsy swing brought the witch's arm within biting distance, Argi snapped and, at the last second, withdrew her fangs in a false bite. She dodged a jab and blocked Gus's attempt to reach the controls. He made a spell circle and suddenly became her.

Argi stopped, only for a moment, Uncle had trained her to deal with such tactics, but the first time she'd seen her enemy take her form… had left scars, said scars tingled with the memory. Instead of the helmeted version standing in front of her, she saw a scared face, her own scared face. She composed herself quickly, and slashed through the illusion.

She could see through it clearly anyway.

"Are you trying to trick me?" She asked, closing the space between herself and her opponents.

"Cause I've got a trick for you." She pulled abomination goo from the pilot and splashed it over everyone.

She heard Darius curse as she masked her voice.

"Now's your chance, don't waste it." She hissed to Viney.

She nodded towards the controls and the weakened abomination that was left. Viney understood, if a bit confused, and did as told. Argi took control of some of Willow's plants to form a protective ball around Hunter for the ensuing crash. Without thinking, she made some vines wrap around Gus to protect him from the crash too.

"This'll be rough, try not to throw up." She advised Gus.

He looked thoroughly confused with her.

The ship went down seconds later, the impact tossed Argi into the air and she landed with a heavy thud against the deck.

With their enemies temporarily incapacitated, the time to leave was now.

"Let's get going, team!" Willow ordered.

Viney and Gus quickly made their way through the debris, Willow turned back to find Skara struggling with her leg. The prosthetic wasn't functioning properly, whether it was debris, left over abomination goo, or the drastic altitude change that was messing with it didn't matter.

Willow snagged Skara with a pair of vines and carried her off the ship, surprising her teammate in a way that reminded Willow of Amity when Luz would pick her up. It was a cute little blush.

"I, uh… sorry Willow…" Skara apologized with a self conscious glance at her leg.

"Don't be, it's not your fault." Willow told her.

She jumped off the ship and splashed into the warm wet sands of the beach, her team was already on the dry sand. She ran over to meet them and escape, but an abomination blocked their exit path. Willow glanced back at the green fires of the air ship, Darius rose out of the debris, an abomination shield had protected him.

"Did you really think you could get away with endangering a Coven Head? Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?!" His right arm transformed into a scythe.

Willow cast a quick spell circle as she passed Skara off to Viney behind her. The vines were sliced through effortlessly. Willow made a hardened vine shield around her team to protect them, but that was easily cut through too. He glared at her and raised his scythe arm, Willow winced and put herself forwards, bracing for the pain that was sure to come.

"WAIT!" Hunter rushed in between them and Darius, panting, out of breath.

Willow glared at the back of his head, he'd lied to them and tried to betray them, she felt it right to be sceptical of his intentions.

"Out of my way, little prince." Darius hissed sternly.

Hunter's hands shook, but he held his ground.

"No! I was mistaken. These four are insolent agitators who aren't fit for the Emperor's Coven." He stated, glancing down in shame.

"And I'm unfit to wear the sigil of the Golden Guard." He dropped the cloak to the ground.

He looked to the Emerald Entrails gathered behind him.

"You can go." He told them.

Willow raised her staff, preparing to fight. A shine behind Darius caught her attention, the Blue Guard was standing behind Darius with a sword in hand. Tears stung in Willow's eyes.

"Please, captain." Hunter urged.

Hesitantly, Willow lowered her staff and turned away. She took Skara from Viney and let her teammate lean on her for support.

"Let's move, team. We need to find a replacement." She said as she started walking away.

Hunter felt a familiar dread churn in his gut.

"After all, it'll be 52 weeks before Caleb's next day off."

His head shot up in the direction of the Captain. He felt warm and bubbly inside, Flapjack nudged him gently.

"You... befriended them? And then you disobeyed me to protect them?!" Darius shouted.

He raised his arm, Hunter flinched.

Shit! He's angry! He's mad at me now! He's gonna hit me! Gonna hit me! Gonna-

A gentle hand patted his head. Hunter peeked an eye open.

"I'm not going to hurt him, little thorn, you can drop the sword." Darius said over his shoulder.

Argi sheathed her sword and stood down.

"I'm impressed. I had you all wrong." Darius was smiling, at him.

"Huh?"

"You're what? Sixteen? It's about time you made connections outside the castle." Darius said.

Hunter scowled.

Darius summoned a scroll and handed it to him, it opened to a penstagram sign up page.

"I was just gonna drop them off at Hexside. We have more than enough recruits, in my opinion." Darius shrugged.

"We can talk to each other without uncle knowing now!" Argi said excitedly, summoning a scroll of her own.

"You said you didn't have a scroll this morning." Darius pointed out.

"I lied. Jayr gave it to me." Argi explained.

Hunter looked from her to Darius and the scroll in his hands. What would Uncle think?

"Are you... gonna tell Belos about this?" He asked wearily.

Shock and fear flashed through Argi's eyes and she was eyeing Darius with mistrust in a heartbeat. He simply smiled, eyes on Flapjack.

"Are you going to tell him about your secret Palisman?"

Hunter protectively reached for Flapjack.

"Magic or not, I think you'll make your predecessors proud." Darius started leaving.

Hunter's cloak was flung back at him. He turned it over as the patch was properly stitched in place.

"But you could still use a sewing lesson, little prince."

Hunter stared after Darius, then looked down at his new scroll.

"C'mon, let's find your friends!" Argi urged him with a shove.

"I might need some help, never used one before." He paused, "and you seem to be staying up all night on these." He teased.

Argi stuck her tongue out, he shoved her playfully and ruffled her hair, scattering it around and watching it fall over her eyes.

"Hunter! Stop!" She whined, pushing his hand away from her head. 

"Nah, you look better like this." He told her.

"I can't fucking see for star's sake! How is this an improvement?" She huffed, blowing the hair out of her face for a moment.

Hunter just ruffled it up again, ignoring his sister's complaints.

________________________________________________________________________________

I ended it with some sibling fluff.

Skara's an amputee, I saw a post/headcanon about it back when ASIAS came out and liked it so, here you go, Skara is an above the knee amputee and has been since her early childhood.

Darius calls Argi things like thorn and little thorn cause she was a pain as a baby and her horns are sharp and pokey. Plus she's stabby with her sword.

Argi is a lot more aware of the world than Hunter is, she hears lots of things and knows lots of things with her whole being a spy/usually being invisible thing, so she understands some complex situations a bit more and how to handle them, she also hangs out with an old lady who's job is to deal with this sort of relations stuff, she's picked up a few things. Also as a frickin child assassin, she's just a little skeptical.

I hope you all have a good day, whatever that is for you!

VJS Out!

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Taming Arrogance - Chapter 12

*Warning Adult Content*

My conversation with Cade ends up being longer than expected.

I start with the grudging admittance that I signed over to be Blake's personal bitch, a job where the only perk it carries with it is the money.

Cade nods and pours me another shot, on the house.

Another shot turns into two more.

By the end of my fourth shot, I muster enough liquid courage to share with Cade the intimate moment shared between Blake and me earlier this afternoon.

Ever playing the part of a dutiful bartender, Cade nods his head here and there, asking minimal questions only when they're appropriate.

I take out my wallet and slap a twenty on the black and white marbled surface.

"I told you they were on the house," Cade says with a friendly smile.

"I know," I say, pushing past the slight slur that's battling my ability to form an intelligent sentence.

"I'm not paying you for the drinks. I'm paying you for listening to this stupid, gay bullshit."

Cade laughs again.

It's something he does a lot, I notice.

His approachable and light-hearted demeanor annoyed me at first but now it's kind of growing on me.

It's certainly more tolerable with a few drinks in me, too.

"Callum, if you knew the stories I heard working at a job like this, you would be blown away. I'd like to think it's just a part of my job duties, along with making drinks and having a physique that drive all the men crazy."

I scoff at his egotism and he smirks.

"Oh come on, Callum. Can you honestly tell me you haven't looked at me a single time throughout this entire conversation and thought of me as slightly attractive?"

"I mean. I've seen better. Not that I was looking," I quickly finish.

Cade chortles under his breath.

The sound makes me crack a smile this time.

A gentleman takes a seat two stools away from me.

Cade holds up a finger to pause our conversation and steps to the side, asking the new customer what he'd like to drink.

I don't bother looking over, Cade confirmed my earlier suspicion that looks among the gay community come packed with a punch.

Instead I keep my eyes forward, trained on the soft glint of light bouncing off the marble countertop.

After a few minutes, Cade returns and pushes my twenty away from him.

"Keep it," he says.

"That way you can buy yourself a few drinks the next time you come in here."

I open my mouth to argue but Cade cuts me off with another question, a question I really don't want to answer.

"So you claim that you've seen better while simultaneously admitting this Blake guy is seductive enough to get a kiss out of you. I have to ask, what's this sexy boss-man look like?"

I groan into my hands, cursing myself for coming into this bar in the first place.

The point of coming here was to be around other gay men and learn to not be weird around them.

So far, all that's been accomplished on my journey is chatting it up with a gay bartender about my issues with Blake and downing four shots of Vodka.

'In other words? Fucking. Pointless.'

"Just throw me a bone," Cade urges.

"Tall? Short? Dark hair? Big dick?"

"Oh shut up, you idiot," I mutter and Cade throws his head back with laughter.

With how many times he's done this over the past hour, I'm surprised he doesn't have light whiplash.

His question pulls an image of Blake into the forefront of my mind.

'Blake and his lean torso and muscular arms. His sculpted jaw and long eye lashes. His deep voice and slender fingers. His dark hair and strong presence. His demanding eyes and stupid, soft lips.'

"You're thinking about him right now, aren't you?" Cade asks and I grunt.

"Okay, how about we start with this. What's his personality like? He a quiet guy? One of those quiet and pensive types? Or is he one of those cocky guys with confidence for days?"

"Neither," I respond.

"He's a bossy, overbearing prick with more money than he knows what to do with. He's shallow, infuriating, fussy and..."

"Hmmm," a deep voice cuts in from behind me.

"I think shallow is taking it a bit too far."

Cade's gaze flickers to the man standing behind me.

His eyes widen.

I can feel Blake moving closer to me, the heat of his torso almost touching my rigid back as I sit at the bar stool.

"Though I suppose I would be remiss to argue with the rest," Blake says, only inches away from my ear.

I slowly spin around and come face to face with him.

Blake's eyes are focused on Cade, his expression emanating a powerful warning.

Cade blushes and drops his gaze.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper to my boss, suddenly feeling like I'm a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

Blake's expression smooths back to its neutral state.

He rolls his shoulders and lifts his right hand, adjusting the cuff on his sleeve.

"I might ask you the same thing," he murmurs.

"I was... you didn't even..." I stammer. Blake moves to the side, leaning his torso over the bar to get Cade's attention.

"Not that you asked," he says icily.

"But I'll take a martini. Dry."

Cade nods, turning away from us and fumbling to get a clean glass from above the bar.

Blake reaches into the chest pocket of his coat and pulls out two, crisp fifty dollar bills.

He sets them on top of the counter, his slender fingers and practiced hands every bit as polished as the marble itself.

The fifty dollar bills sit next to my twenty and Blake pushes the miniscule contribution back towards me.

Without even asking, he knows it's mine.

He knows it's mine and is silently telling me to put it back in my wallet.

The gesture is patronizing.

"I'll cover your tab," Blake says.

A command rather than a kind offer.

"I didn't order any drinks," I argue through gritted teeth.

"Oh? Then why do I smell alcohol on your breath?"

"I don't know," I hiss.

"Because you have no concept of personal space?"

Blake's jaw tightens and from the corner of my eye I can see Cade grin, just ever so slightly.

The twenty is taken off the table and forced into the palm of my hand.

"Put it away," Blake snaps.

"Now."

I roll my eyes and fold the bill once before stuffing it into my pocket.

So much for a night of fun and relaxation.

Cade sets Blake's dry martini onto the bar with far less confidence than he had only five minutes ago.

It's clear the bartender is every bit as intimidated of Mr. Blake Benson as everyone else who encounters him.

"This should cover our drinks," Blake says to Cade.

"And please, keep the change."

Cade nods and thanks him under his breath.

His fingers reach out to grab the money and he looks like a puppy that has just been scolded by their owner.

It's a defeating sight.

Cade puts both of the bills into his bartending apron and leaves us to tend to his other customers.

Blake picks up his martini glass and holds it close to the light.

His eyes scour the glass, inspecting its contents before he puts the rim to his lips. He drains the entire glass slowly and without pause. His tongue slid

es along his bottom lip when he's finished and he sets it gently back onto the counter.

The sight of his tongue stirs unwanted desire through my groin.

It's as if I can still taste him, feeling his tongue sliding against mine in a battle for dominance.

"How did you find me?" I ask, forcing the unwelcome thoughts away. Blake hums low in his throat.

"The gentleman at the front desk asked if I enjoyed my time at Francisco's. When I stopped by the room to change and saw you were gone, it was easy enough to piece things together."

"I didn't realize stalking was a part of your job description. Should I refer to you as Detective Benson from now on?"

Blake side-steps my witty response.

"The question really shouldn't be how I found you, Callum but rather what you're doing here in the first place."

"I wanted to get out. I needed some air."

"At a gay bar?"

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" I spit angrily.

The real reason behind my visit to Francisco's stays locked in the back of my mind.

If I admitted the truth, it would only further prove to Blake that the kiss between us affected me.

Did it affect me? I'd like to say no but my groin says differently.

Even having Blake stand so close to me is doing more than it should, stirring up a dark desire that I wish I could ignore.

Blake is quiet for a moment, his fingers tracing around the bottom of his martini glass.

I can't tell if he's pissed or confused.

"Callum, I'd like to discuss with you what happened at the hotel earlier."

"I don't. Just drop it, Mr. Benson. Never happened."

This time when I respond with harsh words, Blake doesn't even flinch.

He must be expecting this type of reaction and his face remains impassive and neutral.

Cade moves towards us again, his every step riddled with hesitation.

"Ah. Can I get you anything else?" he asks, almost sounding like a different person, far more guarded and professional than the jovial man who insisted I have a lemon drop on the house.

Blake touches my leg, his fingers lightly tapping my knee to get my attention.

It's an innocent touch but even feeling his fingertips graze against my skin causes the lust in the pit of my stomach to quiver.

"Can I get you another drink before we leave?" Blake asks me.

"Nope. I'm done."

Blake nods and then leans closer to the bar, lowering his voice so just Cade and myself can hear what he's about to say.

"I'm a patient man," Blake says and his voice is as sharp as steel.

"But if I find out you are passing around free drinks to one of your customers again, consider yourself unemployed."

Cade blanches.

The warning has its intended effect and the bartender nods weakly.

He mutters some semblance of an apology and walks away from us, Blake's words still racing through his mind, no doubt.

I hop off the bar stool and sneer under my breath.

"You're such a dick. He was only trying to be nice."

Blake ushers me towards the door to leave Francisco's.

After that awkward altercation, I'm all too relieved to get the hell out of here.

"No," my boss corrects me under his breath.

"He was trying to get laid."

I shove through the doors and turn to glance at him over my shoulder.

"So we're back to that again, huh sir?"

"Watch your tone, Mr. Greene."

I throw my hands up in the air.

"So let me get this right. Even though I'm not gay, you have a homo boyfriend and I'm definitely not interested in you, I'm not allowed to fuck anyone and no one is allowed to be even slightly interested in fucking me?"

Blake sighs and pauses to adjust his stupid, fucking cufflink again and like the idiot I am, I stop and wait for him.

My nostrils flare with irritation.

Blake smooths out his tie and gives me a small grin, one that is professional but carries with it an edge of irrefutable authority.

"That would be correct, Callum," Blake confirms without remorse.

"At least, not on my watch."

[chaeryybomb]

"did you guys break up?"

pairing: hwang hyunjin x female reader

genre: established relationship, fluff

word count: 0.6k

featuring: lee felix, han jisung & yang jeongin

warning: nothing, just fluff, kjfhkdjsf don't let the title fool you, inspired by that one scene in horimiya

a/n: hi lol *drops this and runs*

"Felix!" Hyunjin's popped his head into his room. Felix, who was in the middle of game, removed his headphones too look up. "Can I borrow a hair tie? I forgot where I placed mine."

"Oh yeah, sure," he replied. Reaching over his desk, he took a simple black hair tie from his vast collection of hair ties (courtesy of Changbin) and handed it to Hyunjin.

"Thanks," Hyunjin immediately said before he is dashing out of the door, leaving Felix no time to react. Felix just shrugged and returned back to his game.

Hyunjin ran his fingers through his hair, then he gathered it into ponytail as he walked into the elevator. He checked the time on his phone and inwardly cursed. This morning you had called him to come over for lunch. You said you had something to show him. It was way passed lunch time because he got caught in dance practice.

Oh you were so going to kill him.

"You're late," your little brother was the one who answered the door.

"I know, I know," Hyunjin sighed as he took off his shoes. "Is she mad?" He asked.

Your brother shrugged. "No idea, she hasn't come out since breakfast," he told him before retreating back to his room.

Confused, Hyunjin walked into the living room of the apartment. "Y/N, I'm here!" He announced.

"Coming," he heard you say.

While waiting, Hyunjin let himself into the kitchen for a drink. He heard a door close and he assumed it was you. The sound of footsteps was then heard as he was pouring himself a glass of water. "Sorry I was late, I-"

Hyunjin almost dropped the glass in his hands when he finally saw you.

"Oh god, I knew it looked bad," you groaned when you saw his reaction.

He scrambled the words out of his mouth and immediately went to you. "No, no, I was just surprised. It looks great!" He assured you.

But the frown on your face grew deeper and you groaned in frustration. "Don't lie, I know it looks bad," you grabbed your head and walked back into the living room with Hyunjin trailing after you.

"I told them I just wanted a trim but I got caught up talking with the hairstylist that I didn't realised they cut it shorter than I wanted," you flung yourself into the couch and cried in your hands.

You felt bad telling the hairstylist you didn't like your hair, so you just swallowed in the complain and thanked them. At first you thought it'd look okay but the longer you stared at your reflection, the more weird it looked on you. God, you miss your old hairstyle so much.

Hyunjin sat next to you and you felt his hand rubbing your back in small circles. "It really doesn't look bad, I swear. I mean you look good in anything," he said.

Sniffling, you removed your hands and looked up to him. "Really?"

"Yeah," He reassured you with a kiss to your forehead. "Plus, I've been meaning to change my hair too."

"Did you guys break up?" Was the first thing that left Han Jisung's mouth when the two of you entered the dorm. He was on the couch with Jeongin, watching some cartoon on the TV.

"What? Of course not!" Hyunjin glared, offended that Jisung even said that as he pulled you closer with an arm around your shoulder.

"Then what's with the new..." Jisung trailed off, motioning both of your new hairstyles.

"It's a couple thing, you wouldn't know since you're lonely and single," Hyunjin childishly stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey!"

"Plus even if we did break up, which will never happen by the way, why would Y/N come over?"

"To see me because she loves me, duh."

"Shut up, Jeongin."

© chaeryybomb 2022

a/n: *goes back to disappear for another month*

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 160.2: Deja Vu (Part 2)

Start with Part 1, if you'd like. It's Draco's turn to try to fix things.

It had been an awful day.

Everyone Harry worked with was an idiot, he hated all of them, he hated the ministry, and honestly if he could just disappear he would.

Draco was having an equally shitty day by the sounds of it. His assistant Lorraine had blown up six cauldrons simultaneously. "And I told her that it wouldn't work," he said before he had a weird shiver and he stopped talking.

"Alright?" Harry asked, turning in concern to look at him.

Draco blinked once, "I'm fine," he assured. "I just," he shook his head. "None of that matters."

"Well, she did blow up six cauldrons," he said with a laugh.

Draco chuckled too, "But I'm here and you're here, and really what more could I ask for?"

"Aw, babe," he said, smiling and leaning in to press a sweet kiss to Draco's lips. "Thank you," he said, slipping his arm through Draco's and pulling him close.

"Harry?" Draco asked.

"Mm?"

Draco took a breath, "Would you still love me if I killed someone?"

"What?" he asked, laughing because it was such a ridiculous thing for him to ask. Draco didn't have it in him to kill someone, they both knew it.

"I'm serious," he said.

(Read more below the cut)

"Is it just like a random stranger or is there like a reason for it?" he asked, figuring he needed some context for this hypothetical game. "I mean if it was just like something that you wanted to do for fun-"

"No," he said shaking his head. "Say it's a horrible person who wanted to hurt me. What then?"

"Oh, it's self defense?" Harry asked. "Pssh, murder away, my darling," he teased, bringing their linked fingers up to his lips so he could press a kiss to Draco's knuckles.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Draco replied, as he released Harry's hand and whipped out his wand. He aimed it at a tree several meters ahead and cast a wordless spell.

Harry watched in complete shock as a man fell from the tree, screaming in pain. He watched as Draco walked calmly across the grass toward the man and squatted down.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" he asked calmly. "I've had seven years to perfect that lovely spell of yours," he added even as the man writhed on the ground. "A life for a life," he said. Then he stood and pointed his wand at the man, "Avada Kedavra."

The man's body went still and Harry couldn't move, couldn't unstick his feet from the ground. "Godric, Draco, what-"

"This is Brian Axley," he said calmly without looking at Harry. "He has been stalking me for three years and he was going to kill me today."

"What?" Harry hissed, body moving without thought to step between Draco and the man on the ground. "He's been stalking you for three years and you didn't tell me?"

Draco looked up at him, "I didn't know until after he killed me."

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head, his entire body seized up in absolute horror, "What?" he breathed, reaching out to touch Draco.

"It's alright," Draco assured. "We're fine now, everything's goi-"

"Mr. Malfoy!" a voice shouted as an incarcerous was cast, binding Draco's hands, feet, and torso. "You're under arrest," Stymes shouted.

"What?" Harry asked desperately. "No. He's innocent."

Mabel, who worked in the office two doors down from Harry, gently pushed him back, "He just murdered someone in the middle of the park in broad daylight."

"Yeah because that guy was trying to kill us!" Harry said, even though he still didn't quite understand what was happening.

"There will be a trial, everything will get resolved." Mabel said, pushing him back.

He glared at her, "Get your hands off of me," he growled, his magic crackling under his skin.

"Harry," Draco's voice cut it, "Look at me."

He looked past her and at Draco.

"It's going to be alright."

Harry's eyes clouded over with tears, "Promise?" he whispered.

"I promise," Draco assured him.

------------------------

Things were very much not alright.

Hermione volunteered to be Draco's attorney and since they had attorney-client privilege, they got private meetings. There Draco had explained that he'd been killed on October 29th. Harry had then found a spell in a book of dark magic that allowed him to travel back in time as long as he traded a life for a life, he'd sacrificed himself for Draco. And Draco had used the same spell to travel back in time and kill Axley.

The problem was that tampering with time magic (and dark magic to boot) was an equally punishable offense and they were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"He's going to get convicted either way," Hermione said. "There's no proof that Axley's been stalking him except in the confession he gave in the timelines where he didn't die. You're both idiots," she added.

"I need to talk to him, 'Mione," he begged. "He promised everything would be alright, he's got a plan. I know it."

"We've no idea if or when they're listening," she said. "They can't use anything they hear in court, but Harry, if they figure out what he's planning they'll use it to stop him."

"Please, Hermione," he begged.

She rubbed tiredly at her temples, "Get your invisibility cloak ready. We'll go in the morning."

-------------------------

The ground rules for visiting were that Harry wasn't allowed to make any noise, he wasn't allowed to come out from under the cloak, and he wasn't allowed to go anywhere except to see Draco.

Obediently, he followed Hermione in past the guards and up to the room where she met with Draco.

He should have known that Draco wouldn't even need to see him to realize that he was there. The moment Harry walked in, Draco's eyes drifted shut, "Hey," Draco whispered.

Harry moved so that he was standing behind Draco where he was chained to the table and wrapped his arms around his torso, squeezing tight for a moment before Hermione cleared her throat. And when Harry looked down he realized that he could see a mark on the uniform Draco was wearing where he was embracing him.

Instead, he sat on the floor next to Draco and pressed his forehead against his thigh, hoping that it was as much of a comfort to the other man as it was to him.

"What's the plan?" Hermione asked, voice hushed, afraid someone was listening.

"We try it again," he said simply. "We redo the whole thing but this time I run."

Harry squeezed his knee, hard.

"We run," he whispered.

"Have you considered trying it the other way? Having him be the one who tries it again?"

Draco shook his head, "He can't. I'm not letting him do it," he hissed. "They already think he's a weapon. They're already worried that he'll start out on his own, that he's grasping for power. It would be worse and if they take him, we won't know where to find him."

There was a knock on the door, "Time's up!" a guard shouted and Harry wanted to scream; it hadn't even been five minutes. This wasn't fair.

"You have to do the preparation," Draco said quickly. "Find the things we'll need to get somewhere they won't be able to find us."

Harry nodded, I promise.

The door slammed open and Harry had to sprint over to Hermione to make it out before the door closed again.

Once out of the cell, he straightened his shoulders, feeling like he had a purpose for the first time in nearly three weeks.

They could do this.

---------------------

Part 1 | Part 3

[deexchanel]

New York

Word Count: 2,655

Pairing: Avengers x BlackFem!Reader. Justice League x BlackFem!Reader but more specifically Clark Kent x BlackFem!Reader.

Warning: Arguing, mention of miscarriage, angst.

Summary: After not being in contact for so long, someone decides to make a visit.

A/N: The title has nothing to do with the one short. Oops. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!😁 below is Y/N’s outfit for the first half.

A long day after helping the team on their mission, Y/N wanted some pizza. It was around 10 p.m. when she decided to leave the tower. Tony was asleep in the chair, Steve was asleep on the couch. Natasha and Bucky were on the floor watching a movie. Thor was rummaging through the refrigerator, he was watching the movie as well but stopped to get some snacks.

Loki was in the library reading a book. Peter was on patrol so that’s why she felt safe with being out so late. “Loki I’m leaving to get some pizza okay?” He closed his book, preparing to stand up.

“Alright, I’m going with you.”

Y/N placed a hand on his chest so he could stay sitting. “ I want to go by myself Loki. I’m going to be perfectly fine, Peter’s patrolling right now.”

Loki sigh trying to push down his overprotective feeling. “Alright, just be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Y/N hummed kissing his forehead, she then walked to the living. Everyone in their same position except Thor was now back on the floor.

Y/N kissed each of their foreheads, “I’m going to go get some pizza. Anyone wants anything?”

Natasha shook her head,“ No, be careful though. I really want to pause this good movie to save your ass.” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, grabbing her purse from the hook.

“Bring me back some pizza? I’m rather hungry.” Thor said with his eyes glued to the tv.

“You’re always hungry Thor. Bring me some too. Better yet, why don’t I just come.” Y/N heard shuffling from behind her. She wanted to take a peaceful by herself to get pizza, is that too hard to ask? “No Bucky, I want to go by myself. I can handle it.”

She turns around to see him looking at her hesitantly. “You sure Y/N? I don’t mind coming-”

“I got it, really. Go enjoy the movie Bucky. I’ll be right back.” Y/N cut him off, walking out of the door. Bucky stood there dumbfounded, “Is she acting weird or it’s just me?” He pointed to the door, looking at Natasha and Thor.

“She seems alright with me.” Natasha shrugged and Thor didn’t reply.

Y/N took a deep breath hearing the new york life sparkle in her ears. Taxis coming and going. The roar of the subway beneath Y/N’s feet. Everyone talking but still being able to hear your own conversation.

Lights flashing brightly, babies crying, the homeless constantly asking for money. The smell of 1,000 vendors, many selling gyros. Broadway fans going insane when their favorite cast member walks out of the stage door. People of every race, color, and religion.

“Finally,” Y/N mumbled after a good minute of walking, she arrived at the pizza store on the corner. She ordered and stood in line for 15 minutes then left with 5 boxes of pizza. Stopping at the park, Y/N sat on a bench eating pizza enjoying the night air.

Y/N was happy with life but sometimes a person just wants to be alone. A little part of her misses the old lifestyle she had. Bruce, Barry, Diane, Victor, and Arthur. She missed them so much, especially Clark but he was the last person she wanted to see.

They were old lovers, at one time there wasn't a thing Clark wouldn't do for Y/N. Time skip, Y/N found out she was pregnant but due to stress from Clark, she miscarried. No one knew because of the genuine smile she held on her face. He was probably so caught up with Lois to not notice that she'd been gone for a year now.

She loved Clark, Y/N was his best friend. Lois came into the picture and he dropped everything just for her. Heartbroken, Y/N came to new york searching for happiness. She found it in the avengers who she now calls family.

Today was the anniversary of her baby and she just wanted to be alone. She was alone when it happened so she rather be alone now. Y/N stared off into space not even hearing someone land beside her. You read right, land.

"Y/N?"

The deep voice took her out of her gaze. Y/N turned to see Clark in his superman attire. Shocked, she could barely get anything out. "...Clark??"

Clark's face held worry," Y/N..." Y/N furrow her eyebrow confused cutting him off.

"What are you doing here Clark?"

"I can't come to see you now? Y/N I haven't seen you in months."

"Clark I don't wanna talk about that right now. I want to know how did you know I was here??" Y/N stood up, placing her unfinished pizza in the box. She couldn't even enjoy alone time without being bothered.

"Bruce's been track you this whole time Y/N. Come home, we miss you. I miss you." He reached out for her hands. Surprisingly Y/N let him grab her hands. She shook her head.

"Clark I can't just leave. I have a life and family here. You have Lois now, that's who you need. Not me."

Clark looked down," She left me Y/N. Lois said me being superman was too much."Y/N sigh knowing how to hurt he was. Yes, she was mad at him but sometimes not everything needs a reaction. Keeping it calm, she gave him a hug.

"I'm so sorry Clark, I should've been there for you."

Clark held her close smelling her wonderful smell of lavender. "It's okay Y/N. I know this life is treating you well."

Y/N could feel that it was getting late. "Clark I have to go, but I do have to ask you something." He pulled back glazing into her brown eyes.

"What is it Y/N?"

"Tomorrow evening bring the team to the tower. I want everyone to meet each other. I'll cook! It'll be so much fun."

Clark looked at her with hesitation, "I don't know Y/N.."

Y/N gave him the puppy dog eyes, "Please Clark? You get to see me in a nice outfit." He smiled giving in.

"Oh alright."

-------

"A little bit of this," Y/N murmured pouring grated cheese on top of the macaroni. She placed it in the oven, closing the door with her butt. Dinner consisted of steak with tarragon mushrooms with a side of macaroni. Y/N had been in the kitchen all day while the team did their overview with Fury for missions they have done.

"Smells amazing in here Y/N! What you make?" Steve's voice came from behind while she grabbed plates out of the cabinet. "Food Steve. You'll see when it's dinner time and if you don't mind, can you help me set the table?"

Steve nodded his head with a smile, "Sure I don't mind Y/N." The two joked around while they set the table. Clark and everyone were to be here in about 20 minutes. When she got home from the park last night, Y/N told the avengers about this evening dinner, and boy it was some weird faces.

She didn't know who was harder to convince, Tony or Steve. Maybe because they had been on the team longer. Once finished Y/N ushered Steve to go get dressed. She was so caught up with finishing the meal, that she didn't check the time. "Fuck!"

It was 10 minutes until Clark and the rest got there. She was nowhere near ready. "Y/N why aren't you ready?" Tony asked in disbelief when he walked into the kitchen. Y/N pulled at her hair.

"I know, I know! I was too caught up in finishing the steaks. Can you watch the food so it won't burn? please?"

Tony sigh,"If that makes you get dressed faster then I'll watch it." He opened the lid, the food smelled amazing. "Yeah hurry up, this smells good. I'm ready to eat."

"Thank you!" She kissed his cheek, rushing past so can get dressed.

---------

"Y/N they're here!" Steve called up the stairs. Y/N hopped around on one foot trying to put on the other boot. When it finally slid on her foot, she stood in front of a mirror taking a deep breath. She wanted all her favorite people to come together and be her support. To make her forget about the pain she went through a year ago yesterday.

Y/N walked downstairs with all eyes on her. Clark's mouth was agape from how good she looked. "Arthur! Diana! I've missed you guys!" Y/N hugged her with passion.

"Me too. You look beautiful." Diana hugged her back. Y/N moved towards Arthur giving him a hug. "Thank you."

"Yeah you look too good, don't make me have to beat anyone up from looking too hard." Thor snorted which made Arthur glance at him for a second. Y/N moved to Bruce.

"I hope you're doing good Bruce other than Barry getting on your nerves."

"Hey!" Barry said in defense.

"I'm good, just missed having you around."Bruce expressed which kinda shocked Y/N because he wasn't so open. She then gave Victor and Barry a hug. "I've missed you, two knuckleheads, together."

"We've missed you too." Victor smiled.

"What are we eating, it smells so good in here," Barry said excitedly. Y/N laughing gesturing towards the dining table. "We're about to find out, let's eat!"

Everyone cheered a bit sitting at the table, you know they didn't mingle but sat on the opposite side. Y/N walked over to the stove trying to bring the food to the table but Natasha stopped her.

"I got it Y/N, go sit down. You've been on your feet all day, I can bring the food to the table." Natasha grabbed the glass casserole dish out of her hand. She wasn't lying about her feet hurting but Y/N wasn't going to admit it.

Y/N sigh, "Fine, I'm bringing the champagne to the table though." She hurriedly grabbed two bottles of champagne before Natasha could protest. She definitely needed a sip before dealing with two rival heroes.

----------

There were conversations here and there but most of Y/N. She had all her favorite people in one room. Dinner was running smoothly until...

"So Y/N, Clark told us that you were coming back to stay permanently. I'm excited to have you back." Barry used his knife to cut the steak. Y/N didn't know who to look at crazy him or Clark. She could feel the hard glaze from Bucky.

"What's speedy boy talking about Y/N?" Tony asked tilting his head. Steve sat down his knife.

"Yes please do explain."

"I uh haven't said anything like that. I had planned on visiting, it wasn't official." Y/N scratched her arm out of nervousness from all eyes on her.

"I knew I wasn't going insane. Y/N wasn't going to go back permanently, she's not that crazy." Thor chuckled drinking his champagne.

Victor glanced at him sideways."What's that supposed to mean? Y/N wouldn't be crazy if she came back permanently. That's honestly the perfect decision if she does."

"Guys.." Y/N trailed off but was ignored by everyone. "Y/N is right where she belongs. Do I need to say more?" Loki wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"If she wants to come back permanently then she can. Y/N's only been with you guys for what ? a year? She's been with us forever so you know who she's going to choose." Arthur leaned back in the seat.

"Sure fish boy." Tony let his smart mouth get the best of him. Y/N took a sip of her champagne to calm her nerves.

"Guys..."

She was ignored again. "Y/N is coming with us and that's final. That's the only reason why I came to this wretched place was for her." Clark crossed his arm and Bucky narrowed his eyes at him.

"She's not going anywhere with you. I stand on that."

"Barnes right, you think I was going to let her leave with you after what you did? That's really funny." Natasha chugged the rest of her champagne down. Y/N winced at what she said.

"Guys please."

"Does that matter? Y/N is coming whether you like it or not." Bruce said setting his fork down. Diana nodded in agreement.

"I don't have to anything. Just know I'm not going down without a fight?"

"You people are so petty and tiny." Thor laughed using his fingers to indicate how small they were.

"If Y/N doesn't want to leave she isn't going to leave. it's her decision." Steve sat forward in his seat. They were getting louder by the minute.

"She isn't going, you weaklings," Loki growled sitting forward in his seat as well, not taking eyes off Arthur. Both Clark and Bucky held an intense stare.

"We should go few rounds." Tony stood up and so did Bruce.

"Let's do it then Stark."

Y/N chugged down the rest of the champagne. "Stop." The argument between them grew louder. "Stop!" Y/N stood up placing her hands on the table, no one noticed.

She slammed her hands against the table. "STOP! JUST STOP IT!" Everyone stared at her in shock.

"ENOUGH WITH THIS! I brought you altogether because I wanted support. I needed support."Y/N gritted through her teeth, tears welling in her eyes. "The one time I step out, you all can't even put your petty egos aside. I don't care who I'm staying with and I don't fucking know why it's an argument. I just wanted it to be a normal night."

Y/N lips trembled as she cried, "I can't hold on to this no longer. I was pregnant before I left Clark. I lost the baby. I lost it the day I went to find out the gender." Clark squeezed his eyes closed, his heart broke hearing the news. "And I hate myself so much for even letting myself stress so much that I lost it. When it happened I was alone. I didn't have you, Bruce, or Diana. I didn't have no one. I came to New York heartbroken."

She looked at the Avengers, they held a sad face. Natasha's cheeks were coated with tears."You guys mended my broken heart. You made me feel welcome and I don't know how I could ever repay you." Y/N wiped her tears.

"But I can't deal with this between all of you. I'm leaving so you can have your big ego contest."

She slid the chair back, walking to the elevator. "Y/N!" Bucky called for her but she ignored him. "Shit!" Clark curses under his breath getting up from the chair. Tony shook his head at him.

"Leave her be Clark. She probably went up to the roof or to the park for fresh air."

------------

Y/N sat in the chair at the airport. She was only going out of the country for a couple of days just to clear her mind. Bruce and Tony have been blowing up her phone none stop. She was tired and waiting on her flight to be called. "Ugh, I'm so tired." She mumbled rubbing her temple. She got up going to the bathroom.

It was oddly quiet until she heard panicked screams. "What?" She murmured looking over her shoulder. Parademons were everywhere. Y/N scrambled to grab her phone trying to be quiet. She slid down the wall, covering her mouth trying to contain her breathing so she wouldn't be heard. The vibration from her phone caught one of their attention and she didn't know.

Still scrambling, Y/N declined the call somehow. She knew she was fucked, tears raced down her melanin cheeks as she held her breath. The parademons appeared beside Y/N, one inspected making sure she was the right one. It snatched Y/N up and she screamed.

"CLARK!"

--------

The two teams were either sitting around or cleaning up. Clark stood in front of the wet dishes drying them off while Bucky cleaned them. He froze hearing Y/N scream in his ears. Diana noticed and instantly spoke up.

"What is Clark? What's wrong?"

"Y/N's been kidnapped."

-------

Omg, I feel like this is so weird😂😂😂. I am going to make a part 2 I just gotta think about how it's going to go. I have a busy weekend ahead so I won't update until Monday.

Yk i had to make Y/N damsel in distress 😉. Clark is her lover but Bucky does like her. This is kinda a part 2 of Vacation. I love Marvel and DC so why not put them together 😁!

I hope you guys enjoyed this weird post even though the title has nothing to do with the plot of the story, I just couldn't think of anything 😂😂.

Stay slutty my friends 💜

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 2

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader

Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff

WordCount | 2 K (bitesized for your convenience lol)

Author'sNote | I know this is kinda short, but I've decided not to rush the ending. I'm for sure not drag it out too much, but the slowburn reaaaally got to me and I ended up liking more than I orginially thought, so! I'll be back to post Part 3 tomorrow!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I know that you love me, It makes me deeply drunk

You’re like champagne, I shouldn’t do this

You’re at the base of the stairs to your apartment complex when he pulls up. The window on the passenger side rolls down.

“Hurry! I think they’re about to wash the machines at the ice cream shop!” he reaches over and opens your door while you grab your two bags and your pillow. You loved him, you really did, but he had the flattest, most uncomfortable pillows in the world in his guestroom.

“What? Why didn’t you stop there before picking me up? It’s not like you don’t know what I like.” You’re trying to move all your stuff to the backseat as he pulls away.

He sighs, “Thank you Jae, you’re so nice to pick me up,” he mutters. You’d be a bit apologetic if it wasn’t for the grin he was trying to hide. “I’ve already spent most of my ‘special’ day alone, thanks to someone who had to bail on me. I wanna spend the rest with you.”

“I knew it, it bothered you didn’t it?” You accused while fastening your seatbelt. “Next time, just tell me, I know it seems as if I know everything but I actually can’t read minds.” You knew he was just messing with you but for some reason his words cut at the guilty feeling you were trying to push away. “I actually got you something this time around, it’s why I wanted to see you before the day ended.”

Jae parks the car outside the shop before turning to you, “wait, did you really get me something?” You sigh, offended, “well, if you don’t want it or don’t like the idea of it, then I can still return it.”

“I just thought of you when I saw it…” crap, it’s too soon for you to go anywhere near that subject.

“That’s not what I meant,” he shakes his head, “It’s just been a while since we shared birthday gifts.” You look away from him. If he kept this up, you’ll start to regret calling him. Your hands were slightly shaking with the effort of not reaching over and pouring all your feelings into him. Unlike what you’re used to, he was dressed down with a simple t-shirt and grey sweats. He looked so soft, and domestic. You hated how much you loved it. At least for work, you had both always been professionally dressed, which was a nice barrier for your thoughts. If you dressed professional, you felt professional. This helped control your thoughts. But now that you were here with him, it was definitely harder to keep track of your thoughts.

Today was a day for him, not for you. You took in a deep breath as you turn to look at the shop. It looked like they were getting ready to start closing duties. Even if you weren’t looking at him, you could feel your heart race with acute awareness to his proximity in the small car. He was waiting for a response.

You open your door, “yeah well…if we don’t hurry, we won’t get those diabetes-inducing bombs you’re so fond of. And this all would have been for naught.” You needed to get a grip, fast.

I can clearly see the end, Worse than a hangover

It will be hard, Now, Just end it somewhere here

“I can’t believe you told them it was my birthday,” he groaned, pushing off his shoes at the door. You followed suit.

“Of course I did, it meant free goodies!” You raise the plastic bag with macarons. “It just sucks that they’re all valentine’s themed.” You make your way to the kitchen to put away the snacks you brought, dumping your overnight bag at the door of the guestroom. Maybe if you kept the heart-shaped gift out of sight, it won’t make you as nervous with him.

“I brought your fave by the way, chocolate covered almonds and gummy bears,” you call out. He appears in the kitchen, hair out of his way with a headband. Be still my heart, you thought. You decide to hyper-focus on placing some snacks on a plate to bring to the living room.

“So, what’s the plan?” He reaches over you to grab a water bottle from the fridge, brushing your hip with his front. No no no no no no no!

Was he teasing you? You knew that your face would give you away, you could feel how warm your ears and cheeks were. You hated how honest your face was, and it didn’t help that Jae knew you like the back of his hand. Maybe this is how he is nowadays? Flirty and confident? You’d be lying if you didn’t find it attractive, but not when his attention was only directed at you. You felt like you were slowly suffocating but even that wouldn’t stop the warm light that seemed to burst from your chest.

It seemed so easy to pretend you were closer to him, to pretend this happened all the time. That you were close enough to reciprocate his flirty actions.

“uh, em,” you clear your throat, “actually, I remembered you wanting to see that movie last time we hung out. I have it ready in my apple tv account.” You back away with the tray, “can you also grab me a water?” your throat was suddenly parched.

You settle in the couch, grabbing the throw blanket behind you. Any physical barrier you could place between you, you’d take it gratefully. “You remembered? That was almost three months ago, when the trailer came out.” He handed you your water and grabbed at the corner of the blanket nearest to him, covering himself with it and moving closer to you so that you both could fit under it.

“Jae, there’s another blanket on your side of the couch,” you wanted to feel embarrassed but you just felt an unexpected giddy feeling at him wanting to be near you. “Yeah but it’s my birthday and this blanket is my favorite,” he says as he pulls you closer and wraps his arm behind you on the couch.

“here, put in your credentials so we can start the movie,” he hands you the remote.

You suddenly thank your lucky stars that the movie was an action packed one and not a romantic one. You couldn’t help but sink further into his side, wanting to be comfortable. As the movie starts, he takes the remote from your hand and wraps your arm around him. “I’m cold, keep me warm,” he mutters. Oh sweet Jesus.

Back in the day, this wouldn’t have been something new. Your friends knew you were very heavy with the affectionate touches. A hug, sharing seats, even holding hands. You never shied away from it because it was part of how you showed your friends that you loved them. Some of your friends were also this way, so it was never weird. But now that you’re older, and now that it’s been a long long time since you’ve been close to someone else, the once innocent touches Jae was giving you felt like hot brands across your shoulders and under your arm. If you focused enough, you could feel his hard work at the gym in the way your softness gave way to the hard contours of his leg that pressed against yours and how your shoulder leaned against his chest.

This was going to be a long movie.

You prayed that Jae wouldn’t ask you what the movie was about, you only had enough sanity to pay attention to the first fifteen minutes. It was all a blur after Jae pulled you half over on his lap, “you’re hogging the blanket, move over,” was the only excuse he gave.

Now, your legs were tangled with his and you sat almost on his lap, his arms encircling you from behind. He felt so soft and every little movement made your skin break out in goosebumps. You felt like a live wire about to explode.

“D-did you like it?” you started shifting to the side so you could face him but he held you tighter in place, resting his chin on your shoulder. “yeah, it was pretty good, we have to wait for the end credits though. I heard that they’re starting to give hints about The Eternals.”

“Did you like it?” he squeezes your middle.

Did you? You’re not sure, but you sure as hell loved the attention you were getting for the past two and half hours. “Yeah, all Marvel movies are great,” you finally concede.

“Wanna watch another one? You can pick this time,” his hand started tracing through your arm as you waited for the stupid end scene that was taking too long to start. Is it getting hot in here?

“Sure, whatever you want,” you mutter. He could have asked you for the most ridiculous thing and you would have still agreed to it.

Jae wakes with a start, the room was dark, the only light came from the still on TV. A show was playing softly, the clock under the tv read 3:45 am. He felt pretty hot, was the A/C not working?

He begins to shift when he realizes the position you both are in. Your legs were still tangled together, as if unconsciously refusing to let go of the proximity. You gripped his shoulder, your breath hitting his neck as you slept soundly on top of him. God, if this is a dream, let me never wake up, he thinks.

He usually hates being too close to someone, any sort of intimacy was bad news to Jaehyun. Either emotionally or physically, he kept everyone at a distance because he had seen it too often. How people settled for something they weren’t sure of and hurting those involved. He was aware he was too logical sometimes, but it’s what he knew to protect himself. Moments like these, they only lead to expectations and empty feelings, leaving behind only pain that even time couldn’t heal sometimes.

But why was he finding it so hard to untangle himself from your embrace? He should go to his bed and sleep comfortably, but at the same time, having you in his arms felt just right. Like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together.

He could smell the light scent that was you and it almost made him squeeze you closer, as if it was possible. You smelled of spring, a light floral scent that reminded him of better days.

He was glad he woke up, he was going to enjoy every second of peace this brought him. He would store it in a little box and hold on tightly when the cold reality came back. As he fought with his drowsiness, he felt you nestle closer. He kissed the crown of your head as he finally gave in to sleep. I hope I dream of you… If this was love, he finally understood why sometimes the pain was worth a shot.

So stupid, sweet love song, extravagant rom-com

As much as I was happy, on the receipt there’s a red line

EndNote | I know this chapter was pretty short. In all honesty, I had written something else before deleting it entirely and starting again, but I really like the direction the story is going now. Hopefully I can update Part 3 tomorrow, but I'm really excited about it!

Previous: Part 1 | Next: Part 3

[hot-wiings]

Leave An Ask Or Comment To Be Added To A Specific Characters Taglist.

Requested By: Anonymous

Edited: 11-5-2020 

Katsuki Bakugou fidgeted with his hands as he sat on his couch. He was nervous, a foreign feeling for him. He didn't get nervous, he didn't get scared. Katsuki was confident. Confident and bold. Yet, here he was, acting like a nervous little baby.

“Kacchan...?” 

Your voice called out to him from across the house. Your voice was soft and sweet, a reminder to Katsuki how nervous he should be for what he was about to ask of you. It was big, it was huge, something you both promised to never ask for. 

You made your way over to him and knelt in front of the brown couch. With a concerned look on your face, you grabbed your boyfriend's rough, fidgeting hands. You had never seen Katsuki so nervous and you'd been with Katsuki for a long time. You had been there with him for every fight and stress since the beginning of UA high. You had been there for every struggle on his journey as a hero. It was you two against the world. 

“Babe, what's wrong?”

“I- I want a baby.”

As if his words had burned your skin, you immediately let go of his hands and stood up. You soon began pacing the room nervously. Betrayal and hurt ran through your veins as you turned to him and threw your arms up in the air. 

“You can’t just spring that on me. You never even hinted at the thought of a family.” 

“I thought the feeling would pass... But every time I see a child, I realize how much I want one.”

“We can't raise a child katsuki. We wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner. We barely even have the time to make one! Children, they require a lot of attention.”

He knew that. He knew they required care. He knew they needed attention. But he wanted one so bad. He wanted one with you. He wanted to be a father. He wanted a mini-him, someone to look up to him. Someone he could teach right and wrong.

“I know. I know they need attention, and I know we promised each other kids would never be in the books for us... But I want one, so bad.”

Your hard gaze on Katsuki softened as you took a spot on the couch next to him. You slipped your hand into his warm one and squeezed it. 

“Look, I'm not ready for a baby. I'm not saying never, just not right now. Maybe in a couple of years, maybe once we're married.”

A deep frown made way to Katsuki's face. You weren't ready for children and you wouldn't ever be. You weren't a kid type of person, you hated them. You would never be happy with children, you would force your self to have them for Katsuki's sake, but you would grow to resent and hate him. 

With a deep sigh, Katsuki squeezed your hand then withdrew it from your grasp. There was only one thing he could do in this predicament. 

“We should break up. I received an offer to work in America and I'm gonna accept it.”

“What the fuck Katsuki? What about us? You don't even wanna try long distance?”

“As far as you're concerned, there's nothing holding me back here anymore.”

He didn't want to hurt you. He hated himself as he saw the tears dribble down his face. He felt sick and disgusted with himself, but this was the only way you'd let go of him. 

With a loud clinking sound, you slammed down a shot glass you had previously downed onto the bar top. Quickly, you waved over the bartender and yelled to get their attention.

"Another one! Please and thank you!"

The barman immediately hobbles over and pours you a new glass. In all honestly, he probably should have cut you off, you were loud and obnoxious, not to mention so wobbly and unstable it was a surprise you were still sitting on the barstool. It was good publicity to have a hero of your caliber in his bar, you'd also been his best customer all night. In fact, you'd been his best customer all week.

You'd been crying over Katsuki for the last two months. During the first month, you were sad. He had started staying at Deku's place and you were sure he'd finally get fed up with his old friend and come back. You were so sure he'd change his mind about leaving. That he'd change his mind about leaving both the country and you, but he didn't. As his plans progressed, he slowly moved more things out of your once shared apartment. During the second month, all you did was cry and drink. Or drink and cry. He was leaving you, he was really leaving you tomorrow. He was at his mother's tonight, and he was heading straight for the airport in the morning.

You down the shot and you're about to flag over the bartender again but you're distracted by the back of someone's head. Dark green hair, even in your drunken state you'd know him anywhere, Izuku Midoriua was in the same bar as you.

"Deku!"

He turned at the sound of his name and smiled as he walked over to you. You both stumble as you walked closer to each other, it looked like he was as drunk as you. Izuku was usually so responsible, guess there really is a first time for everything.

"Hey! I saw on snap chat that you were here, figured you could use a drinking buddy."

His words were slightly slurred but you understood him. It was a surprise Deku was this drunk. While he liked getting a drink after work, he never, never, ever, got plastered. Although you weren't surprised, Kacchan was leaving. His childhood friend was leaving. Though they acted like enemies, they still had their friend moments, they worked in the same agency, they seen each other every day.

However, Izuku was not drunk for the reasons you thought. He was angry and upset, both at himself and Katsuki. He had been the one who introduced you to Katsuki in the first place. Deku had strong feelings for you back then – he still did. He had feelings for you, but you and Katsuki hit it off. He trusted his friend with you, but to see him so callously hurt your heart pained him.

He put you both together, but here you were crying your heart out, the same way he did when you and Katsuki first got together.

Izuku is about to take a seat and buy you a drink when the bartender turns him away.

"You're both drunk off your asses and I'm not properly equipped to deal with a bar fight with a prohero like him in it."

Girl heroes were often underestimated. You surely weren't coming back to this bar or paying your tab.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the fact he's been thinking of you for years. Maybe it was the wanting feelings he had stored up since the day he brought you to Katsuki. Izuku grabbed your hand and gently tugged you towards him a huge smile on his face.

"You want me to call you an Uber? Or take you somewhere else?"

He offered you an Uber. Even drunk, Izuku was still a hero who cared about civilian safety.

"How about we go back to your place?"

It was an innocent question to a friend, but it was a bad idea. You were both drunk, and things were bound to happen. You were both tipsy and weren't thinking straight. Yet you both entertain the thought and walked out together, hand in hand, like a drunk couple.

Katsuki didn't cross your mind as Izuku took off your clothes. Katsuki didn't cross your mind one bit as you let Izuku fuck you. All that you thought about was the way Izuku grabbed, held, and pounded into you. Katsuki certainly didn't cross your mind the next morning either when you woke up with a naked fucked mess next to Izuku.

Despite the hangover, one thing was for sure. Izuku could fuck.

"So we..."

"Yeah..."

You both had blushes among your cheeks. It wasn't every day you woke up naked with you coworker and friend.

"Do... Do you regret it? I'm sorry, I'm not much of a hero am I? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, I should've never gotten drunk."

"No, you're a great hero Izuku! It's not like I said no... I didn't push you away, we both wanted that."

You grabbed Izuku’s hand and intertwined your fingers.

"I'm undecided on if I regret it, but I definitely did enjoy it... I hope you did too..."

"I did... Maybe we can in sick to the agency, we could spend the day together. You know, to decide if last night was worth regretting?"

"I'd very much like that."

You looked up at Izuku and smiled at him. It felt good and domestic. You in his bed with a shining smile. It felt like you were his. Like he never lost you to Katsuki. He was determined not to lose you to anybody again.

Katsuki Bakugo maneuvered around people as he looked for you. It had been five years since he last saw you. Five years since he broke your heart and ran away to America. He was back now, and you were the first person he wanted to see. He didn't just want to see you, he needed to see you. 

He had hurt himself as much as he hurt you that day. He thought it would be better to break up, but five years in America taught him that he would never find another person like you. He would never find another woman that could measure up to you. You were so perfect, and in return, he was so shitty. 

All for what? Because he wanted a family and he didn't think you'd be happy giving him one? It didn't matter now. He didn't need a family. He didn't need kids. He just needed you. He didn't have to have kids if it meant he couldn't have you.

Seeing as he doesn't have an apartment, Katsuki had been staying with Eijirou since he got back. They had immediately fallen back into a bromance as if they hadn't been apart for five years. That was how Katsuki got to where he was now, discreetly standing in your home. Eijirou had told him about how you were having a house warming party, despite their friendship, Eijirou couldn't tell Katsuki about the truths and secrets he wasn't privy to in America. All Eijirou could do was stare in sympathy as Katsuki got ecstatic at the idea of seeing you again.   

Katsuki had been there for about fifteen minutes and he still hadn’t found you. With every person he passed, he got annoyed. Most of them were people he knew, Denki Kaminari, Mina Ashido, Ochako Uraraka. People he used to work with, people he went to school with. They all gave him weird, sympathetic looks as they said hi and stopped him to catch up. It was as if they were all apart of some big elaborate secret. Although, he supposed five years apart will do that.   

Katsuki excused himself from a conversation with Denki, who practically begged him to go out for drinks with him sometime. Apparently, he had developed an American accent and Japanese chicks dig that, Denki hadn't changed much. With one swift turn, Katsuki stumbled into a little kid. 

“I-I'm sorry, sir. I was looking for my dad he said he was going to the bathroom and he'd be right back but there are so many people and me- I- I-”

Katsuki could tell the kid was on the verge of a panic attack so he crouched down to the kid's height to speak to him. He had green hair and freckles, for a second Katsuki was taken back to that wanting need for children. He wanted one so bad, but he was prepared to give it up for you. 

“Don't worry about it kid, how about I help you find him?”

Katsuki took the kid's hand. While he didn't want to deviate from his search for you, he couldn't leave this little kid on his own. Although most of the people here were heroes, he couldn't be too safe.

Katsuki had thoroughly searched the downstairs of the house already on his endeavor for you and he hadn't seen a bathroom. He had no choice but to look upstairs, maybe he could find you and the kid's father. Two birds with one stone.

While holding the kid's hand, Katsuki guided him upstairs. He made sure not to pull or yank the kid, he had to go his pace.  

Katsuki couldn't help but look at your house. It was nice and pristine. He felt remorseful for breaking up with you. If he hadn't you two would just be at home, chilling together in the old apartment you used to share.

Katsuki reached the upstairs floor and made his way to the nearest door. He knew it was rude to open random doors and pillage throughout your house but he hadn't a clue which room was the bathroom.

Katsuki turned the nob and pushed the door open. It wasn't the bathroom, however, Katsuki wished he hadn't come in.

This room appeared to be your bedroom. You were inside leaning against your dresser and in front of you was a man. Not just any man, but Katsuki's old childhood friend, Izuku Midoriya. He had his hands on your hips and his face was in your neck, leaving little kisses and whispers into your ear. Worst of all, you were laughing and smiling as he let his damn hands wander over you.

"Dad!"

The little kid rushes over to you and Izuku with relief laced in his voice. Izuku breaks away from you and crouches down to the kid's level. The kid immediately grabs onto Izuku as if his life is hanging in the balance. You crouch down to and rub the child's back soothingly. The way Katsuki remembered you rubbing his back when he was sick and puking his guts up.

"What's wrong buddy? Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I- I couldn't find you and there were a bunch of people! This house is so big, I wanna go back to grandma Inko's."

The child buried his face in Izuku's chest and you were both so enamored with him. Worry and concern dripped from your voices. Katsuki didn't know how he didn't notice earlier. This child was obviously Izuku's kid, but he just couldn't believe that he was yours. He couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it.

"Bud, we were only staying with Grandma while we finished moving, you'll get used to the big house, I promise."

"Once all the guests leave you'll feel right at home. Besides... You know me and daddy will always protect you, right?"

With his sniffling and tears now coming to a stop, the kid rubs his face and nods at you.

"I know."

It was then that you looked up and saw Katsuki. He hadn't aged much these five years. He wore the saddest face as he watched you and Izuku interact with your child. His heart was breaking and yours broke with it. Of course, it did. He was your first love. He was what led up to the events of your pregnancy.

"Katsuki?"

Izuku's head craned up at the mention of his old friend's name and he frowned. Truthfully, he felt bad for Katsuki. He had what Katsuki wanted, a family. Not just any family, but one with you.

"Hey bud, let's find you some food while mommy talks with her friend."

Izuku picked his son up and carried him out of the room to give you two privacy. He knew how loud Katsuki could get when he was upset, and he did not want his innocent son to experience that. While Izuku didn't want to leave you alone with your ex-boyfriend, he knew you and Katsuki needed to talk. You were each other's first love. There was deep history there, along with deep hurt.

"What are you doing here? It's been five years."

"I missed home... I missed you."

"You broke my heart five years ago. You hurt me, you left me."

The feelings you had for Katsuki were gone, but you still had the urge to cry. He was your everything, you would've married him, but he broke your heart and ran away to America. If it wasn't for Izuku, you would be a drunken hero. If Izuku hadn't been at that bar that night, if you hadn't slept together, if you hadn't gotten pregnant, you would've continued down your path of destructive behavior.

"You broke my heart, you broke me. You don't get the right to come back five years later acting like everything is fine."

"I know that! I know I hurt you, I know I broke you. I can fix it, let me fix it. Leaving you was such a mistake. I never should've done it.

Tears were brimming your eyes as you twisted the gold wedding band around your finger. Katsuki hadn't noticed the band before. He had no choice now but to believe the kid really is yours. Yours and Izuku's.

"You can't fix what's already been mended."

"You married him."

You smiled over at your former lover as you talked about your new one. Katsuki was seething on the inside. Once again, Katsuki had lost to Deku. He was the world's greatest hero, and now he had you.

"I did... One drunken night after you left led to a pregnancy. [Son's Name] wasn't even intentional, he was an accident but Izuku stuck by me. He stayed by my side, he's made me feel loved and safe."

He would beg you. Beg, and beg for you to be with him. Fuck, he wouldn't even care if he had to be a stepfather and share your kid with Deku. He would do it because he wanted a kid, a kid with you. But he couldn't. It was too late. You and Izuku were married, you had a family now. Maybe, had Katsuki stuck around and waited for you to be ready, maybe you'd be a family with him, but he didn't wait. He left. He broke you and left.

With deep regret, Katsuki smiles at you and pulls you into a big hug. He missed the way it felt. The way your body felt against his. He knew he'd never feel it again after this, so he pulled tight and did what he never did. He apologized.

"I'm sorry for hurting you."

Katsuki pulled away from you and walked to the door.

"The kids cute, I'm happy for you."

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter nineteen: “The Long-Awaited Date”

Masterpost - Prev - Next

(These links might not work so I recommend you looking at the post linked on my profile for new updates)

Warning(s): none

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Thirty minutes later Bokuto sent you a message saying that he had already arrived at the hotel to pick you up. Emiko jumped off her bed with a big smile on her lips. When you told her about your date, she was too happy for you. Her plan had finally come to an end. 

“Have a lot of fun, y/n!” she said as she walked you to the exit. “Don't worry, I'll keep Tendou busy while you're on your date. Do not be late!”

Emiko hugged you and you walked out the door to meet a nervous Bokuto, who had a bunch of broken flowers in his hand. Seeing you, his face flushed, and looking down he handed you the flowers. 

“Thank you... They are beautiful, but what happened to them?” you said with a small smile, taking his gift with both hands. 

Bokuto laughed as he remembered what had happened. Then he began to explain the situation to you while walking towards a destination unknown to you. 

“It's really a funny story,” he laughed. “There is a flower shop on the corner of my house, I bought some that seemed very nice, as you can see. But when I was walking towards your hotel, I noticed that there was a bee inside them! I got so scared that the flowers fell to the ground, and someone accidentally stepped on them.”

Koutarou let a laugh out of his mouth. Hearing him laugh, you did too. By laughing, the uncomfortable atmosphere had already vanished, the conversation was much more fluid, and there were no more silences that could cause more discomfort. 

After fifteen minutes of walking, Bokuto stopped and pointed to your left, indicating that you had already reached your destination. Looking where he had pointed, you found a large building. A sign at the entrance indicated that you arrived at ‘Fukurodani Academy'. It was the school where Koutarou went.

“Don't tell me we're going to play volleyball. I didn't bring suitable clothes to do it!”

Bokuto laughed once more, shaking his head; and with great courage, he took your hand to start leading you into the school. 

It was not yet night, it was almost six in the afternoon so the sun was still in the sky. The school was quite bright, but there was no one on the grounds. Which scared you a bit, maybe you were trespassing. Like, you were doing illegal things. Forbidden things! 

'I don't want to go to jail! I am very young!' you thought looking back and forth looking for the blue and red lights, which would indicate that the police were nearby. But despite frantically searching, no one was there besides you and Bokuto. 

Koutarou was ahead of you, guiding you through the entire school until you reached the gym. He turned to see you and noticed your scared face. 

“Are we trespassing?” you asked. “Look Bokuto, I like you, but I don't want to go to jail. I'm barely seventeen years old!”

“Oh y/n, sorry. I should have told you before” he said releasing your hand and opening the gym door. “They let us come to train whenever we want, that's why we were able to enter. The police won't come to take us, I promise.”

Once inside the gym, a bit calmer, you saw a table in the middle of it, with two chairs next to it. On the table were two plates of food, and also a large pink cake. 

The two of you walked to the middle of the court and sat on the chairs. 

“I didn't know you were so romantic, Koutarou.” Just like the other time, Bokuto blushed when he heard his name come out of your mouth. Then you looked at what was on the plates: a large portion of your favorite food. “How did you know that this is what I like the most?”

“Emiko told me... Well I asked her actually” he said pouring water into a glass, and then he served you too. “And with the romantic thing, I don't think so. Akaashi, and the whole team as well, helped me do this. I also made this strawberry cake! It's not going to be as delicious as the one you made the other day, but give it a try!”

You blushed. You were flattered that not only had he done all this for you, but that he had also filled out your recipe, and tried to recreate it to surprise you. 

Dinner flowed smoothly, the two of you laughing the entire time, talking about everything but volleyball. Just as you promised. 

After finishing the meal, Bokuto cut the strawberry cake that he had made. To tell the truth, it was horrible. Raw on the inside and burned on the outside, your stomach wanted to vomit. But instead of spitting it out and expressing how disgusting it was, you decided it was better to try really hard to swallow the piece of cake and encourage him to keep practicing so that you could improve; even if you could tell that the kitchen wasn't Bokuto's strongest field.

It was getting late now, and the moon was already looming in the sky. It was time to go back to the hotel.

Of course, Bokuto accompanied you to where you were staying. Upon reaching the entrance, Koutarou took your hand and turned you around so you could see him. 

“So, I guess this is the goodbye…” he said with a little blush, but with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“Yep” you didn't know what to say to him. You didn't want to leave yet, these days hadn't been enough to really get to know him. 

“I…” “I think…”

You both said at the same time.

“You first,” you said quickly. You needed a little more time before you could say something that comes from your heart. 

“Okay… I know we don't know each other very well, but I do know that I want to. I want to know you even more, ” Bokuto began, looking down more and more. All the courage he had inside him had been exhausted by taking you by the hand twice already. “Maybe I could come to visit Miyagi in a few weeks, or you can come here again, you can stay at my place! Only if you want, of course.”

Now you were the one blushing. Energy went through your body. You have never felt something like this before.

“Seems right to me. You can also stay at my house if you come during the weekend. You might not know this, but I live inside the school from Monday to Friday” you said and Bokuto raised his head. “I think I should go now. Thanks for everything, Bokuto, I've had a great time.”

Bokuto said goodbye to you and finally released your hand. Which caused a weird reaction in your body, you didn't know what it was, but you wanted his hand to be close to yours again. 

“Koutarou, wait!”  you yelled at him before entering the hotel, and when you came running to where he was, your arms wrapped around his neck. “Maybe we are both the losers of the Nationals, but we won something much more important than a stupid trophy.”

And when the two of you broke the hug, you planted a big kiss on his cheek; then quickly returned to the lobby. 

'I shouldn't have done that' you thought as you passed the doorway.

“That was the cheesiest thing I've ever seen in my life,” said a voice that came from next to you.

Turning your head you found Tendou, watching you with crossed arms.

Now your worst nightmare had come true: Satori found out that you went on a date with Bokuto.

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[managedmischiefs]

north//chapter twelve

genre: angst, tiny bit of fluff

pairing: season 11 and 12 spencer reid x oc

warnings: panic attack

word count: 12.4k

summary: change is wonderful. but there’s some changes that are far too drastic for spencer and amelia to handle.

pay attention to the pov changes and the time jump or else you’ll be confused!!!!!! it’s about to get good.

AMELIA

Months go by, and life goes on, and that's about all I have to say about the last few months. Spencer works and I bask in the successful, metaphorical glow of my last exhibit. I do some light work here and there but mostly, I take some time off and resort to lounging around and drawing in my sketchbook. Spencer complains though because he claims that if I have all this free time then he should too. But regardless, he leaves bed every day to go to work and fight the monsters of the world.

But nobody more than me knows that things change quickly. I accepted that a long time ago and the nature of Spencer's job just reiterated that sentiment, especially after he got shot. So even though it’s a bit too overwhelming when he comes home with cuts and bruises on his face, or get upset when he misses loosely planned dates because of cases, or we disagree on where to order dinner from or if we should even order at all instead of just cooking, nothing surprises me anymore.

It doesn't surprise me when Spencer calls me from work and tells me he needs to go to Houston for a case, and that he might be gone for a while. He tells me he loves me and that he'll be home as soon as possible, to be safe, and to drink a glass of wine for him. So I tell him that he's the one who needs to be careful and remind him many times of my love, then I force him to promise that he'll be careful. He does, and I send him in his way with one more proclamation of love.

Spencer has been through a lot. He's a very strong person, and he tells me a lot, but I know he doesn't tell me everything. He only wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to his feelings for me, but not with anything else. He's not an open book when it comes to work and the horrors he sees on a daily basis and relives in his dreams. I wish he was, but I know that part of the reason he doesn't is so he doesn't affect me. I wish he didn't think that way. I wish he could just confide in me without worrying about upsetting me. 

That being said, he doesn't cry. As I lay on my couch and listen to one of the records Spencer bought me for Christmas, a glass of wine about to fall out of my hand, my eyes closed, I try to remember a time Spencer cried in front of me. I scrunch up my nose when I realize I can't think of a specific time. Well, maybe he has cried. Maybe he did in the hospital. Maybe he did when he revealed what happened with Maeve, or his drug addiction. I don't have his memory. Maybe my worries are for nothing and I don't need to waste my time worrying over him so much.

But the days pass and I hear very little from Spencer, so I distract myself with my friends. We go out and we spend nights at clubs and we congregate at someone's apartment to watch movies and it's a wonderful distraction, but it doesn't fill the void that Spencer leaves. So I often find myself leaving him quick voicemails in bathrooms and balconies and bedrooms, telling him that I hope he's safe and that I love him and to let me know when he's coming home so I can see him. I don’t ever hear back.

Friday's are normally easy and Friday's are brunch days with my friends. So I wake up and shower and dress for my day, pulling on my skirt and blouse, singing along to the records playing downstairs. I finish getting dressed and fall back into bed, reaching for my sketchbook to occupy me for another half hour until I need to leave.

"Amelia?" Spencer's voice comes through my apartment, frantic and panicked, as the door hits the brick wall and rattles the picture frames. "Baby, are you home?"

"Spencer?" I respond, and his head whips up, landing on me. He looks like an utter mess in a loose tie and disheveled suit, messenger and go-bag having already clattered to the floor. His hair can be likened to bed head and I can see from here that his eyes are red. I immediately rush down the stairs and forget everything I was just about to do. "Sweetheart, what happened?" I grab his cheeks, performing my normal routine of checking for injuries, and when I find none, I become utterly confused and even more concerned.

Spencer's lips quiver as he sniffles, but he can't hold anything back when tears start to pour down his cheeks. "I-" his hands reach for my waistline, grasping my skin and drawing me closer, "I missed you so damn much, Lia, god."

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I ask when he pulls me even closer, our bodies pressing together and I can feel his rapid heartbeat against my chest. He tucks his head into my neck as he shakes his head no, arms finally circling my waist. "Okay," I whisper, coursing my fingers through his hair, closing my eyes as I breathe in the faint scent of his cologne. "I've got you, dove. I'm right here."

It only takes a second for Spencer to break down in tears, clutching my body like his life depends on it. Hearing his whimpers and feeling his shaking form breaks my heart, but I hold it together, rubbing him back, petting his hair, cooing in his ear, and telling him everything will be okay. His knees eventually give out so I lower us to the floor, landing in a weird position where I'm half in Spencer's lap while he cries in my neck. But neither of us seem to pay any mind to the fact that we're on the floor in the middle of my apartment. I just hold him and mutter sweet nothings and cheesy nicknames and pray to myself that he's okay.

"Spence, my love, can you talk to me? Can you tell me what's going on?" I whisper, trying to keep my voice low. I know that whenever I'm needing his comfort, his calm and low voice always helps me, so I try to provide the same for him. "I'm right here, sweetheart, talk to me," Spencer hiccups a few times as he lifts his head, and I reach forward to wipe his tears. "Take a breath, love. Just breathe, you're okay, I'm right here.”

Spencer squeezes his eyes shut and grasps at my thighs, and his head hanging forward. "I-" he takes a long, shallow breath, "you were clearly about to go out. Don't let me interrupt you."

I scoff out a laugh, shaking my head and pressing a kiss to his. He leans into my touch in a way that nearly makes me swoon. "Absolutely not, I'm not leaving you like this. You were on a case, is this about the case?"

Spencer nods slowly, keeping his head down. "You know about the whole thing with the group of assassins we've been hunting? The dirty dozen?"

"The people who've been targeting Penelope?" He nods again, and his hands tighten around my thighs. "Nothing happened to her, right?"

"No, no," Spencer finally lifts his head and sniffles again, wiping his cheeks with the heel of his hand, "she's fine. Actually, she's finally able to go home now because of this case."

"Okay, tell me what happened. Something must have happened if you're crying," I put my hands on top of his and brush my thumbs over his knuckles, hoping to bring him extra comfort. He brings them against his chest, allowing me to feel it rise and fall a little too quickly for liking.

Spencer gulps. "I had to pose as a married man who wanted his pregnant wife killed so I could lure the last hitwoman out of hiding so we could capture her. We'd gotten everyone else, it was just her. She was so smart and she saw through the whole thing. She knew my ring was fake right off the bat. She set a timer on my phone and was asking me all these questions about me and how we found her and about me and my family and-"

"Your family?"

"After she got rid of my ring, she asked if I had a girlfriend and I said no and somehow, she believed me. And then she was telling me that the only person who would actually date me would be a brat and an idiot."

“I mean, I guess it’s up for debate but I wouldn’t categorize myself as either of those things.”

Spencer giggles, just a little bit, but a joyful noise nonetheless, and that’s enough for right this second. "Then it turns out that she had a partner in the restaurant the whole time who had rigged bombs in the basement. She threatened to kill all these innocent people if I didn't let her walk free, but I couldn't do either of those things." He's getting worked up again and his eyes are tearing up and his breathing is shallowing and it just breaks my heart.

"Bub," I whisper, squeezing his hands, "breathe, okay? You're here now, you're okay."

Spencer lets out a heavy breath that sounds painful. But he squeezes my hands tighter and continues. "The only way I could throw her off her game was by lying to her. Her father had, um," Spencer glances up at me with a nervous look in his eye, "killed her mother when she was young and she was fostered," oh, that's why he was hesitant to say that, "and I had to tell her that I went looking for her father and that I found him and he just didn't recognize her, but that wasn't true. I couldn't find him at all. But then when Morgan moved in to take her down, he lied and told her that her father was at the restaurant and I just-” he shutters, “it was so horrible. I was so scared. She had a gun on me the whole time and I've had guns pointed at me so many times but I knew she wanted to shoot me and I knew she hated me and I knew she would have no problem killing me at any time. It was- god, it was so horrible."

I scoop Spencer into my arms again as he collapses into a new fit of sobs, body trembling. "Spence, I'm so sorry. But you did the right thing. Just think about Penelope. She's safe now, right? She can go home now and she can sleep peacefully knowing that there aren't hitmen coming for her and that you helped take them down. That hitwoman is in prison and you won't have to see her ever again. Now you're here with me and you're safe, okay?"

Spencer doesn't answer. He just lets me hold him and whisper in his ear and part of me hates that he's not talking. He shuts himself off and just barely hears what I’m saying, and only reacts when I touch his hair. He doesn’t return any verbal or physical expressions of love, not that I’m the one who needs them right now, but he just lays limp in my arms and whimpers like a kicked puppy.

"Hey," I whisper, pulling him up a bit and holding his face in my hands, "why don't you go change your clothes and maybe take a shower, if you want, and then come back down? Maybe you'll feel a little better."

Spencer nods and pushes himself up. Without another word, he grabs his two bags and trudges up the stairs to my bedroom, and just a moment later, I hear the bathroom door open and then the shower running.

With a heavy sigh, I locate my phone and text my friends to tell them I won't be making it to brunch. I don't bother to wait for their inevitably irritated responses before tucking my phone away, rushing around my apartment. I find the basket I'm looking for and then snatch the blanket from the back of the couch. I toss food and snacks and drinks into the basket, listening carefully to the running shower upstairs. When I've assembled everything I need, I take a seat on the island and wait for Spencer to be done in the shower.

It's almost half an hour before Spencer comes strolling down the stairs in jeans, a tee-shirt, and his converse. His work attire and weekend attire have too much of a layover, in my opinion. He’s always wearing his trousers and cardigans, occasionally a blazer. I’ve only gotten the pleasure of seeing him in jeans and a tee-shirt a handful of times, so despite the fact that he's the one with the fancy memory, I try to commit the sight to memory.

He's running his fingers through his wet and growing curls when he enters the kitchen, furrowing his eyebrows. "What's all this?"

"We, my dove," I quip, reaching my hands out for him, "are going on a picnic."

Spencer's eyebrows pitch up while he half-heartedly puts his hands in mine and steps closer to me, standing between my legs. "A picnic? Where? On the balcony?"

"No, silly," I giggle, leaning forward to kiss his nose. It makes him scrunch up his nose in the most adorable way. "We're gonna go to the park. It's nice out today and it's rare that I get to have you home during the day so let me cheer you up. Just- humor me, okay?"

Spencer glances beside me at the basket and the blanket, then back at my pouting face. He sighs, resigned. "Okay, sure."

"Good," I grin, leaning forward to press my lips to his briefly. “Let's go before it gets too late."

Spencer grabs the basket and helps me off the island, leaving me to grab the blanket. I lock up my apartment and we head off, walking hand in hand, silence looming over us. We would both usually attempt to fill the silence on a walk, but this time, it feels appropriate. We let the silence exist and distract ourselves by swinging our hands between us. I’m content with it though and I can only hope Spencer is too. I can only hope the silence isn’t letting Spencer get lost in his thoughts.

We finally reach the park and pick a spot to set up, using our shoes to hold down the edges of the blanket before taking our seats. We unload the basket and pass snacks to each other, avoiding the wine I brought, just in case we wanted to let loose. But this clearly isn’t the time for alcohol. So I work on my pretzels and watch a little boy giggle as he flies a kite with his mom.

"So, um," Spencer eventually hums, staring down at the container of walnuts in his hand, "I actually, um, I lied to you."

My hands freeze when they reach for a water bottle, my eyebrows raising. "Excuse me?"

Spencer lets out a breath. He reaches for a walnut but doesn't eat it, and just swirls it between his fingers. "I did go to Houston but it wasn't for a case. I went to see my mom. I asked Garcia to cover for me if you asked or went to the office."

"Why'd you have to lie about that? Is she okay? Spence, I could've gone with you.”

"I know, I should've told you and I feel bad that I didn't but I just wanted to deal with it myself."

"So what happened? Something happened. I can tell. What happened?"

The walnut in his hand slips out and falls onto the blanket, and now that his distraction is gone, he hangs his head again. "I got a call from the facility and they said the medication they were giving her wasn't working anymore. She was agitated and angry and they wanted me to go see her. So I went and when I went into her room, for three seconds-" he lets out a shaky breath and I find myself wondering if he even has any more tears to fall, but I quickly get that answer, "she had no idea who I was. So I had her tested and I found that night that she has an early onset of dementia."

I'm speechless for a moment, just processing that heavy information. I surely don't know as much as Spencer does but I know that this is not apart of schizophrenia. I've never heard stories of Diana not know her own son. I’ve never seen him so upset after a visit with his mom. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this intensely sad. Usually, if he’s upset from a case, I can spend an hour or two distracting him and then I’ll be blessed with seeing his smile again. But after this, I don’t know if he’ll ever smile.

"Oh, Spencer," I lurch forward and hug him for what seems like the millionth time, but he doesn't make an effort to hug me back. His arms hang loosely at his side and he just noses at my neck, not even caring enough to kiss me or hug me or touch me at all. "Love, I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. I don’t know what to say other than I’ll be here for you and Diana and I’m always gonna be here to help you if you want it."

Spencer still doesn't respond and he still doesn't hug me back. So I let go and drop my arms to my side, chewing on my lip. I want to comfort him. I want to help. But he seems so lost in his own head, and that's the most dangerous place to be lost in. I know what it’s like to be trapped in your head with your thoughts, and I know Spencer does too, and it’s not a nice place to be. But I have no idea what I’m doing and I have no clue how to help him.

My eyes stray from his to the park around us. There are kids running around and dogs on leases and people going on runs. It's a stunning day out, and when my eyes linger up to the sky, squinting at the sun, I smile. I shift my body and lay down on my back, reaching back to rest my hand on Spencer's knee as I stare at the vast color that seems to match my eyes, or so I've been told. 

"I think," I say softly, pointing upwards, "that one looks like a dinosaur." The clouds roll along in the sky and I study each of them quickly, searching for distinguishable shapes that I can point out. "And that one kinda looks like, well, I was gonna say an alien but now it looks more like a turtle," In the corner of my eye, I see Spencer tilt his head up to stare up at the sky. "And that one," I point to a passing cloud, "looks like a hat."

Spencer grabs the hand that is resting on his knees and intertwines our hands before laying down beside me. "I still don't get it. They're just clouds,"

"Then tell me about the clouds," I quip, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. "Educate me."

“Well, there are three main types of clouds. Cumulus, stratus, and cirrus. Stratus clouds are flat and featureless, like layered sheets. Cumulus clouds are puffy. Cirrus clouds are thin and wispy and are usually high in the sky.”

Spencer surely educates me. He goes on and on about the different types of clouds and the variations of them, and which produces the most rainwater and which form the fastest. I think he talks for close to half an hour, going on and on with his beautiful voice about something I never really give a second thought to. But I stare straight up and barely move a muscle, keeping my head on his shoulder and my hand laced in his.

"I talked for a while," Spencer chuckles as his lecture comes to an end, and he twists his neck to kiss my forehead. "Sorry."

"I enjoyed it. Can't say I'll remember it, but I like hearing you talk," I smile, turning to capture his lips in a kiss. "But I think that one looks like a lamp."

"I still don't see any pictures," Spencer sighs, returning his gaze up to the sky.

"That's okay. You will one day. It takes practice," I pause, squinting my eyes. "That's definitely a car. Like, a pickup truck," I reach my free hand over and grab Spencer’s cheeks, twisting his head for him at the passing cloud. Cumulus, I think. “There. That’s the pickup truck.”

"Thank you for taking my mind off everything," Spencer whispers, and his head breaks free from my grasp to look over at me. My hand drops to his chest. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I think I'd go crazy. I truly don't know what I did before you and I don't know what I'd do if you-"

"You-" I cut him off before he can even finish his sentence, "don't have to worry about living without me because I'm not going anywhere. That's a camera, no doubt."

Spencer laughs, returning his gaze up. "Whatever you say, beautiful."

“You know,” I drag my hand down to his stomach and brush my thumb over the soft fabric of his shirt, “this might sound a little stupid. But the day we met, when I left my apartment for the cafe, when I looked up, there was a cloud in the shape of a heart. And I don’t know why but I just knew it would be a good day. Is that stupid?”

“No, it’s not stupid,” Spencer says. “Actually, if we were characters in a fiction novel, that heart cloud could be considered an objective correlative. That’s a symbol or event or group of things that are meant to represent emotions in the story. So in a movie, it could be thunder and lightning before a bad event or feeling a chill go down your spine. Or the cloud could be considered foreshadowing, even though foreshadowing doesn’t exist in real life. And if it does then it’s just a coincidence. Yeah, I guess for you it would’ve been a coincidence. A good coincidence. An accurate one because, you know, you kinda fell in love after you saw the heart cloud.”

It's my turn to look at him now, and I study the curve of his nose, his jawline, the outline of his lips. He's stunning. The sun illuminates his features, even the sweat gathering at his hairline, and I can’t remember a time when I was this utterly, wholeheartedly in love with him. With everything about him. The good and the bad. "Spence, I know it doesn't seem like it, but everything is gonna be okay," I whisper, moving closer to him, nuzzling my nose against his neck while his arm wraps around my waist. "And even if it's not, I'm gonna be right here, holding your hand and staying by your side the entire time. I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me. No way."

"I wouldn't want to," Spencer quips, moving his arm around my waist. "I love you too much."

"I love you too. Come here," I sit up just a bit and draw his lips closer to mine, letting my eyes flutter closed. "Everything is gonna be okay, dove.”

///

ABOUT SIX MONTHS LATER

///

"Ow! Fuck, Spencer! That's way too hot!"

"Then turn it down."

"Well, my hands are a little tied right now."

"That's not my fault."

"It kinda is your fault because you made the stove too hot!"

Spencer laughs and comes up behind me, his arms circling my waist, resting his chin atop my head. "I'm sorry. You know cooking and baking aren't my forte."

I send Spencer a sharp look over my shoulder, huffing. "You're so lucky you're cute."

He rolls his eyes and then moves beside me, gently grabbing my wrist. "Let me see," he pulls my hand from under the running cold water to inspect my finger. "It's fine, just a little red."

"I know," I smile as Spencer brings my pointer finger up to his lips to lay a sweet kiss on my skin. "You're just so adorable."

"I try," Spencer shrugs innocently, making me laugh. "Okay, let's finish chocolate covering these strawberries and get them in the freezer."

I hum in agreement and move back to the stove, the heat setting now turned down by Spencer, post finger burning. So I reach over Spencer and grab another strawberry and dip it into the chocolate before setting it onto the wax paper. Once we've run out of strawberries, Spencer puts the tray in the freezer. I go skipping into his living room and curl up on the couch, turning on the tv and waiting for him to arrive.

It's only a minute before he's curling up beside me, pulling me into his arms and kissing my cheek. "It's amazing you didn't get called into work today," I say. "I guess since you had to miss our birthdays and Halloween this year, the serials killers decided to let us celebrate our two year anniversary together."

Spencer laughs as he pulls me even closer to his chest, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "I'm glad they did. I mean, I wish they let us spend every day together but I'm glad they let today be an exception."

I settle my head against Spencer's chest and keep my eyes on whatever's playing on the tv, brushing my fingers up and down his arm aimlessly. He hums contently and a smile comes to my face. These moments of quiet are rare. And getting to have these moments on days like today, our two-year anniversary, are few and far between. We have to take advantage of them while we can.

"Hey," Spencer whispers, "I've got a question." I hum in response, flickering my eyes up to him for a moment. "So, you know, you're always spending your time here and I'm always spending my time at your apartment," I immediately look back up at him, already understanding what he's about to ask. "We're always together so doesn't it just make sense that, you know, we live together?" He raises his eyebrows, then sucks his bottom lip between his teeth out of anxiousness. "We always make a point to get together when I'm home, and I know you sometimes stop by here when I'm away on cases. We should- doesn't it make sense? We'd get to see each other more."

My grin spreads across my face as I tackle him to his back, squeezing his waist. "Spencer, that sounds perfect. I'd absolutely love to move in with you."

"Seriously? You'd actually wanna buy a house with me?"

"Of course!" I giggle, bringing my hands to his jawline, holding his face in front of me. "Why do you think I’ve stuck around so long? Yes, Spencer, of course I do," He attacks me with kisses, quickly lifting me up and carrying me towards his bedroom. "Dove, the strawberries-"

"I don’t want the strawberries right now. I want you."

It was silly of me to expect that moment to last forever. Our second year together was amazing. Well, as amazing as it could have been. Spencer hunts the worst people in society and parts of him break every day and I start a new exhibit, but we still meet up when we can and hold each other and make each other laugh and cook and look at clouds (with only me describing shapes) and just comfort each other. It was completely foolish of me to expect that happiness bubble not to burst.

Spencer doesn't like change and that's not hard to tell. The change of dating me was hard enough for him and I've learned that it was hard for him to get used to a new daily routine with another person in it. But then the BAU team changes and that almost makes Spencer spiral. Alex Blake left a while ago and Spencer was crushed, and then Kate came and he loved her. But then she left to have a baby. Then Morgan went through a trauma and decided to leave to protect Savannah and his baby. He lost Morgan and then soon lost Hotch.

Hotch was targeted by a serial killer that I only know by the name of Mr. Scratch. He sounds horrible, especially since he captured Hotch and drugged him, then tried to get him to kill his team. Then there was a prison break that sounded absolutely terrifying and made me almost spiral when I heard about it, and Mr. Scratch escaped. And the first thing he did? Stalk Hotch and his son. Hotch decided to leave the team in the hands of Emily Prentiss, who I've learned is an old team member who left to work for Interpol after a very complicated sequence of events, and entered Witness Protection to keep Jack safe. Spencer learned so much from Hotch and looked up to him, so losing the unit chief was a huge hit. It was a hit for everyone on the team, but this huge change meant creating another new routine.

Although losing those valued team members was horrible and stressful, they gained amazing replacements. Tara, Emily, Luke, and Stephen are amazing profilers who jumped into the BAU pool with both feet in, and the rest of the team appreciated that. They give their all to the team and together, they're taking down the escaped serial killers who got away during the Rawdon prison break.

But then Spencer starts to get some phone calls. It started out as one, interrupting a late-night dinner date on the balcony after Spencer got home from a case. He didn't think much of it at first, not even going inside to his apartment to talk privately. Turns out, his mother wasn't reacting well to the new trial he just got her into. Spencer didn't take this news well and our dinner was ruined. He stormed inside and spent the rest of the night at his desk, reading the same stack of books about experimental medicine over and over. I cleaned up our plates and went home. That's when I first started to see him pull away from me. From life. From everyone.

The calls became more frequent after that and the books piled up on his desk. The dinner dates and the hookups and the mid-case phone calls stopped, and our before-work cafe dates have been completely nonexistent. Spencer put every ounce of free time he had into helping his mother and her condition, and I had to respect that so I didn't say anything. I let him research experimental medicine and do all the fancy doctor things that I'll never understand, and I just kept my focus on my art.

He decides to go out and visit her and insists I don't come, that he can do it alone. I try so hard to convince him, but he doesn't budge. So I concede and he takes a week off of work to go, and I practically lock myself in my studio. My friends come by and I keep my concerns about Spencer to myself, but then I rant when it's only Jenna around. She's confused too, understandably, but offers no valid advice. I don't blame her, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't have a clue what to say. And when Jenna asks me if we've found a house that we like yet, I tell her that we haven't even started looking yet. Spencer has been too occupied with more important things.

When Spencer returns, a selfish thought comes to mind. I think maybe everything has been solved. I think that maybe all those hours Spencer spent ignoring me and focusing on his mom and researching experimental medicine have paid off and he's solved world hunger and now his mom is cured. It's absolutely horrible. It's maybe the worst thing I've ever thought. No, it's definitely the worst thing I've thought. But am I wrong for wanting things to go back to the way they were? Am I wrong for wanting my boyfriend back? No. Yes? I'm not sure. But all I know is that I'm worn down and no amount of wine can distract me.

When Spencer returns, he sits me down. And when he sits me down, I know my selfish thought was too selfish. My selfish thought made karma come back to bite me in the ass. He's got a solemn look on his face and he's not holding my hand or touching me at all, he barely even wanted to kiss me when he showed up at my apartment.

"So," Spencer sighed, running his hand through his grown-out hair, "um, the clinical trial that my mom is in isn't helping. She's not getting better." I had raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to get to the horrible and dark, inevitable punchline. "I'm gonna bring her here to live with me."

My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, eyebrows turning in. "What?"

Spencer groaned, burying his face in his hands. "She isn't getting better but whenever I go to visit, she seems to be fine. So I'm gonna bring her back here with me and she's gonna live with me. I'm gonna hire a nurse to watch her while I'm away on cases."

"Spencer, that's-" I let out a breath, tangling my hands on my hair. "I love you and you know that but I really don't think this is a good idea. Maybe this trial isn't helping her but another might. Find something close to here so you can see her more often but taking care of her yourself is going to be so hard. I don't think you realize what-"

"I've made up my mind, Lia," Spencer said stubbornly, as if ending the conversation there. "I've spent too long away from my mom and I don't want to anymore. She always feels better around me and I want her to get better already."

"Spencer." Just speaking his name made my heart hurt because I could feel the foundation under us crumbling. I could see it crumble when he doesn’t soften at the sound of his name from my mouth. That used to always happen. "This is a bad idea. Please reconsider. You're so busy with work already and then you're gonna go home and have to take care of your mother. You're not gonna have time to see me, or Henry and Michael and Hank, or do literally anything else. Spence," the selfish thoughts came back, "I'm sorry to be like this but you asked me to move in with you."

Spencer sighed, and that was all I needed. I stood from his couch and he quickly followed me to the door where I had already started pulling on my shoes. "Amelia, please. I know I asked you to move in with me but she's my mother and I can't abandon her-"

"She needs professional help!" I exclaimed, whipping around to face him. "You went through this pain when you were eighteen and you're gonna force yourself to go through it yet again when you don't even have to. Hey, Spencer, did you notice I got a new piercing?" I pointed to my ear and watched his face fall. "Yeah, I got my tragus pierced. But you've been so caught up in this experimental medicine thing that you haven't even noticed that. Just imagine how much more time you won't have when your mom starts living with you."

Spencer shook his head at me, just tucking his hands in his pockets and staring down at his shoes. "You're not listening to me." And then I left.

We didn't talk much after that. I texted him to make sure he was doing okay during his cases and got minimal responses. He eventually told me that he found a nurse to take care of Diana, and that he'd be traveling to Houston to take his mother out of the trial. It was surely the worst decision for Diana, but I guess I have to support my boyfriend.

So after Diana is settled into Spencer's apartment as much as she can be, I head over. She knew who I was right away from the two times I'd met her before, and Spencer and I were both surprised about that. I expected her to not recognize me and Spencer expected her to accuse me of being a spy. I didn't fully understand that, but when he explained how Diana had accused the nurse of being just that, it made sense. Kind of. I don't know how Spencer couldn't see it, but Diana didn't seem comfortable in his little apartment. Or maybe he did see it and just ignored it because he liked having her so close after so long.

Exactly what I predicted happened. I barely saw Spencer for two weeks and in the few times that we got to text, I found out that Diana wasn't doing well at all. She flooded the apartment and ran out the first nurse and now Spencer couldn't go on a case until he found a new nurse. She hated the taste of her medicine, which is odd because I've never found that pills have much of a taste unless you hold them in your mouth too long, and didn't want to take it. But Spencer is a hardass about medicine. I know that from experience when he complained I wasn't taking medication for my panic attacks.

But eventually, Spencer finds a wonderful nurse named Cassie who agrees to work with them and Spencer goes off on a case, and I accept that I'll never get to see him again. We text occasionally but I haven't heard his voice in weeks and we haven't gone on a proper date in maybe months and god knows we haven't had sex in forever. All those selfish thoughts return to make me feel like a horrible person, but am I horrible? Diana needs to be in a care facility, not her son’s apartment where he leaves every few days, and with a stranger who Diana believes is a spy.

I was completely ignorant to believe that our happiness bubble wouldn’t pop. No, the harsh beginning of our relationship would prove that no happiness lasts. We couldn't even get through a year without something tragic happening.

And it sounds so horrible, but at this point, I'm incapable of creating my own happiness. I need Spencer to be happy. I need him to be able to enjoy my tea in the morning. I need him to enjoy watching The Polar Express. I need him to find shapes in the clouds. I need him to make my spontaneous trips to the BAU to see Penelope. I need him so I can be happy. It's codependent and maybe it's toxic but he's my whole world. He's the reason I live and breathe.

///

SPENCER

///

I'm good at holding myself together. I'm good at putting on a smile and helping others before I help myself. It's become a skill of mine over the years, and maybe one that I shouldn't be so good at. But it is and I pride myself on not alarming my teammates when anything is wrong. But stalking cases are a whole other story. I do my best to keep up my world-class poker face when I see that the object of the unsubs affection is a brunette with bangs, but it proves to get harder and harder throughout.

I commend myself for keeping it together. I commend myself for keeping it together when the unsub kidnaps the brunette after we arrive. I commend myself for keeping it together when we witness the unsub send a bullet through the brunette's head. I commend myself for keeping it together as I slap handcuffs on the unsub and shove him in the backseat of a car. I even manage to keep it together through questioning from the whole team. Emily, Rossi, Luke, Tara, JJ, Stephen, and Garcia all ask me if I'm doing okay. Seriously, even the new people. I promise I'm fine. It was a while ago, I tell them, I'm fine.

I should be proud of myself for keeping it together until I get back to the hotel. I keep it together through the wrap-up interviews with the unsub and the goodbye with the local police, ignoring the images that are circling in my brain, now adding another set of images to resurface when I wish they never would.

I don't break down until I'm lying in my hotel room bed. It doesn't happen at first. I just lay down and stare at the ceiling and then my eyes start to burn and then suddenly, there are tears dripping down my cheeks. And as soon as one tear falls, there's a waterfall that follows.

I reach into my pocket and rip out my phone, searching for Amelia's number. I'm blinded by my own tears but I hiccup and hold the phone up to my ear, curling up on my side, ignoring the way I feel so uncomfortable in my trousers and converse and way-too-tight tie. After the phone rings twice, I accept that she's not going to answer, but then she does, and I feel a wave of relief wash over me.

"Hi," she answers softly, and then pauses. "Spencer, what's wrong? What happened? You're crying."

"I know you're mad at me," I cry helplessly, squeezing my eyes shut, "but I really need you right now."

"Of course. I’m right here," she answers in her beautiful, sweet, calming voice. "What do you need? Are you okay?"

I hiccup again, bringing my hand up to my eyes and trying to wiping my cheeks. "It was-" I sniffle, "a stalking case.”

"Oh," Amelia answers, fully understanding. "Okay, dove, do you have your medallion?"

I suddenly remember that and I sit up, hastily grabbing my messenger bag and digging it out of one of the many pockets. "Y-Yeah, I have it now."

"Good,"

"Could you pick me up? I don't wanna drive home."

"Of course. I'll be waiting when you get back."

///

The ride up the sixth floor is excruciating. I'm cramped with everyone else and I just want to go to sleep. I just want to be with my girlfriend. Emily looks over at me and smiles, but I don't bother to profile her smile. Whether it was pity or sorrow or just plain friendliness, I don't care at the moment.

I'm the first one out of the elevator when the doors slide open and my eyes wander inside and to my desk, and my feet glue to the floor. Everyone passes right by me and into the bullpen, but I just stare at the beautiful scene in front of me.

Amelia is sitting on my desk with her legs crossed, dressed in oversized sweats, which are definitely mine, with her curly hair in a bun and her glasses on. I can't blame her for her outfit choice, it is nearing midnight. But she's got her sketchbook in her lap and she's speaking to Henry who's sitting in my desk chair with a notebook in his lap, and she's clearly instructing him on how to draw something. He turns his notebook to her and she grins proudly before giving him a high five. Henry encourages her to teach him something else and they both flip their pages. Amelia leans in with her pencil in hand to show him something else.

"Hey," JJ comes from behind me and lands at my side, following my line of sight. She grins and watches the two interact perfectly, and Amelia gives Henry another high five. "You know, if we don't get a case this weekend, I'm available to go look at rings."

I just start to nod slowly, my head fuzzy with the amount of love I'm feeling for my girlfriend. We haven't been in a good place with our relationship and that's not really a secret. She isn’t happy with my choice to bring home my mom, and she's upset that she feels like her life has to suffer because of the choices I've made, and that's completely valid. But here she is, dropping everything to come and comfort her crying boyfriend at midnight on a Wednesday night, despite how upset she is with me.

So I just look down at JJ, nodding, and her smile grows as I say, "Deal."

///

AMELIA

Change can be such a beautiful thing. Change can be the thing that encourages people to start over and become a new person. A big enough change can transform a life. My life has been change after change after change that I've embraced it and welcomed it. If I don't accept something that happens so constantly in my life, where would that get me?

But sometimes change isn't good. Sometimes it's imperative that things stay the same. There are times where life is too hectic and busy and it would be detrimental for change to make an appearance. Change, then, makes life far too stressful and just plain unlivable.

I thought I'd gone through enough change since meeting Spencer. Dating an FBI agent, specifically, someone in the BAU, changes enough. But then he gets injured and he misses important dates and he works with the man who arrested my serial killer father and he brings his paranoid schizophrenic mother with dementia home to live with him. That's enough change for anyone, and Spencer hates change. I've never met a person who hates change more than him.

I've learned to keep a normal routine since I met Spencer. Well, as normal as I can. Even though I may not be doing anything in a day, I always get up and get dressed, whether Spencer is around or not. I've gotten used to not changing things and I've found the comfort in it.

I don't let today differ from my other days. I wake up in my cold, empty bed and stumble into a cold shower, washing away the throbbing between my legs and the oil on my skin. I blow dry my hair and get dressed in a white sundress that Spencer once told me is his favorite, tying half my hair back with a bow. I do my makeup and put in my piercings and clean my new piercing and go about my life, checking my phone for a text from Spencer. But all I find is groupchat texts from my friends and a text from Jenna asking me if I wanna go out tonight, so I put my phone away and go make myself a cup of tea.

My tea tastes wrong today. I've put in too much sugar and it doesn't taste right when Spencer's not making it for me, or when he's not holding my hand, or when he's not stealing kisses before rushing out the door for work. Life just isn't the same without him and I wish that he could come to his senses about his mother.

I'm halfway through my cup of tea when there's a knock at my front door. The irrational part of my brain perks up and thinks it's Spencer coming home from his trip to Houston, but the rational part of my brain knows that he would go home to his mother first. His mother comes first now. That is a change I need to get used to. Selfish.

"Coming!" I call, setting my cup of tea down on the island. I double-check to make sure I've turned off the stove and the kettle is safely moved aside before rushing to the door.

I pull open the door and instantly, my heart sinks to my feet. Seeing Penelope and JJ standing at my door would usually make me smile and pull out a bottle of wine, but today, it makes my hands sweat. I know this isn't good. I can tell it isn't good by the way JJ is staring down at the floor and by the tears stains in Penelope's makeup.

Spencer is dead. That's it. He's gone. I don't know how it happened but he's dead and gone and I'm all alone. My head starts to spin and I grip the doorknob in my hand so tight that I think I might break it off.

JJ's head pops up a moment later and she gives me a quick, tight-lipped smile and I notice her grab onto Penelope's hand. "Hi, Amelia," she says, her voice quieter than I’ve ever heard it before. "We, um, we gotta talk to you."

I gulp, my chest burning as I nod and open up the door a little bit further for them. The two step inside and even though they've been in my apartment a few times, when I was invited to ladies nights and hosted, they walk as if they're strangers. They're uncomfortable strangers who would rather be anywhere else.

I close the door and the three of us linger in the entryway. I almost regret not putting on a record this morning because the silence is choking me. Garcia is avoiding eye contact and looking around and JJ is doing something similar, but her eyes are stuck on my wall of pictures. And it seems to be the picture of Spencer and I. It was one that had taken hours to convince him to take and when I'd finally pressed the button on my camera, we were giggling relentlessly and Spencer was clinging to my side. It's one of my favorite pictures of us, which is why it's on my wall. I look at it every day and wish we could go back to that moment.

"Do you guys want a drink or anything?" I offer because I just don't know what else to say. I truly don't want to hear what they have to tell me.

Penelope turns her head back to me and shakes her head. "Um, no. No thanks."

"Amelia," JJ states, her voice sharper than I imagined. But then she brings her eyes to mine and her face softens. "Do you, um, do you wanna sit?"

"Tell me what happened to him." I sputter, bringing my hands to my hips. I'm already breaking and there are already tears in my eyes. They wouldn't be here during a work day just to tell me that Spencer is happy and healthy at work, about to get on the jet so they can go to their case.

Penelope lets out a whimper and puts her face in her hands, pulling her hand away from JJ's. JJ sighs and looks between me and her friend. "Spence is, um," she lets out a breath again and forces out whatever words are painful on her tongue, "he got arrested in Mexico. He was in a car chase with the Mexican police and then he was found with a huge amount of cocaine and heroin in his trunk, and he was high out of his mind. Emily, Rossi, and Luke went down to Mexico to investigate and they found a body and they're now charging him with drug possession with the intent to distribute, and manslaughter."

Like I said, some change is good. Changing bed sheets, changing clothes after a workout, changing your mind on a restaurant for dinner. Change is necessary for life to go on. Not change like this. I could never accept a huge change like Spencer getting arrested in a foreign country while being high. All of that is absolutely ridiculous and I almost roll my eyes when JJ tells me. But her face stays stoic and I know it's true.

Sometimes, I can feel myself getting pushed into the ground. I can feel my feet melt into the hardwood floor and I watch as the room starts to spin like a carousel. But there's no eccentric horse and no cheerful children. It's just me and my tears and my trembling knees.

"Amelia?"

There's a voice but I can't tell who's it is. Maybe it's JJ. Maybe it's Jenna. Maybe it's Penelope. Maybe it's Spencer. Maybe it's my mom. Maybe no one spoke at all. I can't even tell what's real anymore. If Spencer is high and getting arrested then we surely, must have entered a new dimension.

"He was framed, Amelia, we know it."

There's the voice again, and suddenly there's a hand on my arm, but my whole body tenses. My eyes glaze over and I can't even breathe, my chest heaving every time I try. Silent tears fall down my cheeks and I know that the longer I stand here, the more pain I feel.

But the glue under my feet has taken a liking to this specific spot of the floor and I'm stuck. So utterly stuck in this spot, in my head, in this lifetime. I can't breathe anymore. My lungs are flattened and they won't inflate.

"Amelia, you need to breathe."

I move my lips but no words come out. I'm grappling for words and gasping for words and I know what's happening but I can't stop it. Spencer always stops them. He always speaks to me in his soothing voice and waits to touch me until the nonverbal part of my attack has passed and then he hugs me up until I almost bruise.

But thinking about Spencer makes my knees buckle and I crumble to the floor, staring down at the hardwood as my tears create a puddle. I hang my head and ball my hands into fists, trying to find something to ground me but there's nothing. JJ and Penelope don't know what to do and Spencer can't magically appear to help me. They can't even call him because he's been arrested. Arrested.

My boyfriend has been arrested. My FBI boyfriend who wasn't happy to bail me out I when I was arrested for spray painting a brick wall that was public property. And now he's getting arrested for being high, being in a car chase, narcotics possession, and now murder? My boyfriend? My boyfriend who walks around with his sobriety medallion and cringes when we even see a scene on tv of someone doing drugs. This isn't him. This isn't My Spencer.

"Emily, Luke, and Rossi are with him. They said he's hazy and missing time but he's okay."

He's not okay. God, no. He won't be okay. He relapsed and once he comes down, he's going to be crushed. Absolutely pulverized. He'll never want to look at his medallion again. His medallion. Where the hell is that?

Time passes. So much time passes. It feels like forever. My hands bleed and my knees ache and my back is sore and my head starts to pound. I eventually collapse onto my side, almost curled up in the fetal position, my eyes squeezed shut. I need Spencer. I need him to hold me and to tell me he's going to be okay and to come home. Someone needs to tell me this has all been a cruel, disgusting, horrible prank.

"Amelia?" It's Penelope this time, that I know.

"Amelia, can you hear me?" And now it's JJ and she's crouching right beside me. I nod weakly and she sighs of relief. "Can I get you something? Water?" I nod again, and she goes rushing off to my kitchen.

Penelope helps me sit up again and leans me against the wall, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Her touch feels nice but it's not the same as Spencer's touch. Nothing will ever be the same.

"We're gonna save him," she whispers to me. "We're gonna prove that he was framed and we're gonna bring him home."

JJ returns with a glass of water for me and joins the two of us on the floor, crossing her legs. I sip slowly, my hands still shaking and my knees pulled up to my chest, protecting myself. My thoughts are shooting around in my head and I can't stop them.

"We've been fighting recently," I confess quietly. "Ever since he decided to bring his mom home, we have. On our anniversary, he asked me to move in with him and we agreed to buy a house, then he brought his mom home and started ignoring me. He cared more about experimental medicine than he did about me."

"That's not true," Penelope murmurs, placing her hand on my knee. "Anyone with eyes can see that Reid loved you more than himself. He'd lay down his life for you. He looks at you like you put the clouds in the sky," The statement makes my head spin quicker.

"Why don't you," JJ speaks next, "pack up some stuff and come to the BAU with us? You probably shouldn't be alone right now and you could use some company."

"Plus, we can keep you updated on Spencer when you're closer," Penelope says. "Go pack and we'll drive you."

I put the glass of water on the floor and manage to push myself to my feet. I trudge away from the girls and up the stairs to my bedroom, lugging a duffle bag out from under my bed. It almost doesn't feel real as I put a few things in the bag. It feels like someone else is controlling my body. I’m not moving like this. I’m not living in this dimension. 

I make my way back down the stairs and see the two women still lingering in the doorway, not even speaking. But they give me pitiful smiles when I enter, and they don't say anything when I grab my keys and open the door. I don't clean up my water glass or my cup of tea or double-check anything. I just need to leave.

///

Stephen and Tara's heads pop up when the elevator doors open, but I keep my head high. They're profiling me, as they always are with everyone, but I don't want to give them the power to see me so broken. So I keep my face neutral as I march right past them and down the hallway, directly into an empty interview room and slam the door shut.

Maybe it's wrong of me to be so cold to the team that is doing their best to help Spencer, but I can't help it. And maybe I'm mad at him. Maybe I'm fucking furious. How could he do this? How could he go to Mexico and put his life at risk, being a federal agent and being such a big target? How could he neglect to tell me that he was leaving the country? How could he do this to his team and his mom? How could he do this to me?

"Amelia?" Tara's knocking at the door, entering before I can even say come in. "I'm just checking in on you. I'm sure you're upset. We all are."

"He's stupid," I'm not sure why that's the first thing out of my mouth, but it is. "He's a fucking idiot. I've always known that but I didn't think he'd be this stupid."

Tara sighs and leans against the wall, dropping her head and trying to stay calm and level for me. "Did you know he was going to Mexico?"

"He told me he was going to Houston to meet with a doctor, that's all," I shake my head, ripping the too-cheerful bow out of my hair and letting it fall to the floor.

"When Garcia looked into his travels, it turned out that he crossed the border three times." I can't even bother to react. My body just feels numb and no new information can get past the shield I'm putting up. "You had no idea of any of this?"

"He always told me he was going to Houston. I never would've thought he was going to Mexico. Tara," my teary eyes travel up to meet hers, "JJ and Penelope said he was framed. Who is trying to frame him?"

Tara grabs a chair from the table a few feet over and sits in front of me. "Did Spencer ever tell you about someone named Mr. Scratch?"

"Him? I thought he was going after Hotch."

"He's coming after all of us. He came after me, he kidnapped my brother and drugged him, and we know that he did the same to Reid. It's our job now to find the evidence that points to Scratch." Stephen is at the door now, giving me a pitiful smile before gesturing for Tara to follow him out. She pats my knee before standing. "We're gonna get him home. You're obviously welcome to stay here, and if you need anything, let us know."

///

I thought that being apart of one FBI-involved case was enough for one lifetime. I don't miss being in this stale interview by myself while the BAU does their work, scrambling for evidence that supports Spencer and gets him home. But there's clearly not much or else I would have heard something. All the horrible memories of my childhood in police stations surface and swirl around my brain, leaving me frantically covering my eyes to will them again. I’m a kid again, laying on an uncomfortable couch and watching officers go back and forth without even looking at me. I’m a kid again, lost and confused with nowhere to go and no one to love me.

JJ and Penelope stop by over the day to check in on me and bring me food whenever they order some, but I don't eat much. I just spend my time staring at the wall and trying not to cry. I eventually leave the room just to change into sweatpants and a hoodie, and when I return, my phone is buzzing with a call from Jenna.

"Hey," she answers, and there's quite a bit of commotion from her end. "You were supposed to be here a half hour ago and The Bachelor starts in twenty minutes, so are you coming? Everyone else is already here and Frankie said he's gonna eat your Popeye's order soon."

"No," I answer quietly, "I'm not gonna make it. Sorry. I forgot to call."

"Are you okay? You sound off," Jenna's no profiler but she's always been good at hearing when I'm off. "Did something happen? Is Spencer okay?"

I cover my eyes with my hand and let out a shaky breath. "No, Jen, he's not."

There's a moment of silence on her line and the shouting from our friends gets quieter as she gets further from them. "Are you guys fighting more? What'd you guys say this time?"

"It's so much worse than that," I cry, curling up on the couch as the waterworks start yet again. "He got arrested." And so I start the story, relaying the details as I know them.

It's now that I accept the situation. Spencer is being framed by a criminally sophisticated serial killer who organized a prison break from behind bars. There won't be evidence. No, actually, there will be evidence and it will all be planted to point to my boyfriend. The minimum sense for murder is twenty years and the maximum is life. No matter what, he's going away for a long time or for forever. I might never see him in my bed again, or on my balcony, or buy a house with him, or have a family with him.

And so I cry to Jenna for hours. She misses The Bachelor and she has no idea who gets sent home or who gets a rose, but I don't think she cares. She listens to me cry over my tainted life plans. The wedding I'll never have. The kids I'll never birth. The mortgage I'll never pay. The college acceptance days I'll never attend. The birthday parties I'll never throw. It may never happen. And I've never been a pessimist, but this is the perfect time to be one.

I know that I fall asleep on the phone with her because when I wake up, my phone is on the floor of the room and it's still unlocked, telling me that it's nearly three in the morning. I'm wide awake and plagued with memories of the times I used to sit in bed with Spencer at this early morning time, eating Chinese food or ice cream and sometimes playing dumb card games that he lets me win or watching movies in a language I don’t speak or teaching him how to braid my hair.

I leave the dark interview room and wander into the dimly lit bullpen, finding right away that the four members of the BAU that are in the country are still in the conference room. They're working through the night and I wish I had the energy in me to thank them.

I push open the doors with every intention of forcing yself to have to energy to thank the team, but I pause when I get to Spencer's desk. His cardigan is still on the back of his chair, and there are more books covering the desk than I’ve ever seen. My pinky promise note has never moved from its spot on his computer and there are now two framed pictures of me on the desk. One is the same one that's hanging in my apartment, and the other is just me on my balcony, grinning at the camera. I hated the picture at the time and I still hate it now. Clearly, Spencer loved it enough to get it developed and put it on his desk. Every time I come here and see this picture, it makes me fall in love with Spencer just a little bit more.

I sit in the cardigan-covered chair and open the top drawer, finding basic office supplies. The next drawer is full of case files and paperwork that I don't have the stomach to go through, and besides, I'm sure I'd be the next to get arrested if I go through them. Federal business and all. I already know what is in the bottom drawer but I open it anyway, and I find that the stash of snacks I supply is still held there. I smile when I find that there are new snacks there, meaning that Spencer has finally learned and eats more when he's at work, even taking it upon himself to buy things other than what I provide for him.

I swivel the chair to the other side and open the only drawer on that side. This drawer is filled with the sketchbook/journals that I've provided for him, and at this point in our relationship, after two years, I've provided him with six already and he's working on his seventh. Each one is decorated differently and uniquely and each one is filled with whatever Spencer decides. I also find one of my hair scarves in here but I don't dare to touch it. I lost this scarf very early in our relationship and I realized I left it at Spencer's apartment, and I knew he'd never give it back to me. I steal his clothes and he steals my hair scarves.

The last thing I find is Spencer's medallion and I quickly pull that out, slamming the desk drawer closed. I'm not sure what to think of this. Did he leave it behind because he was tired of being sober? Did he leave it here on accident? Did he leave it here because he was framed and he didn't plan on getting drugged in a foreign country? I juggle the medallion between my fingers like I've seen Spencer do so many times and wonder if Spencer remembers his promise. I wonder if he remembers that he promised to always come home to me, that he'll always go north and he'll come home to me. Does he remember that?

"Hey," Penelope leans against the desk, giving me a small smile, "I've got a tiny bit of good news."

"Good news?" I echo, not at all convinced. How could they have good news that's tiny? The only good news in my book right now would be Spencer is released from custody.

"Yeah," she nods eagerly, "it turns out that the woman who was killed was a Mexican and an American citizen. The case was just extradited! They were gonna move Spencer to El Diablo Maximum Security Prison but instead, he's gonna go to federal jail here and await his trial."

I just nod at this news, because it's not really good. He's not proven innocent, in fact, plenty of people seem to think he's guilty if he was supposed to go to a Mexican prison. He still has to go to jail and stay there to wait for his trial and he still has to be proven innocent. It's not good news.

"Amelia, it's good, I promise. This means that we can control the case." But I still don't look up from the medallion as it passes between my fingers, and I only look up when she speaks again. "They're on their way back now and they're stopping by here first before bringing him to the federal jail."

"Really? Am I gonna be allowed to see him?" I perk up, the medallion rolling out of my fingers as I jump to my feet.

"Yeah! He's supposed to keep his handcuffs on but if we get you guys into an interview room or something, I'm sure we can make an exception for you," Penelope rubs her hand up and down my arms, smiling. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but everything's gonna be okay."

I scoff out a laugh, already retreating back to my lonely interview room. "It's funny, that's what I said to Spencer when he was upset over a case once. Guess I was wrong."

///

"Amelia, he's here." Penelope beams, waving me out of the interview room.

When I get to the elevator, Spencer is already hugging JJ. She sighs as she's nudged by his jacket-covered, handcuff-bound hands, hugging him as best as she can. I hear her promise the handcuffs are only because there are other people around, and Spencer nods in understanding. He looks horrible- exhausted and disheveled and nothing like the man I fell in love with. But as soon as I see him, a new wave of overwhelming, painful emotions wash over me.

Spencer lays eyes on me and his face crumbles, stepping past JJ to get to me. "I'm sorry," he whispers, but I'm not quite sure what it is he's apologizing for. There's a mountain of things it could be for. But I don't care.

I forget all the horrible things I was thinking before and pull the jacket away from his hands, ducking down and moving inside his circled arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. I squeeze him as tight as I can because I know he can't really hug me properly, and I hear him sigh contently. He melts into my embrace. His arms just hang around my waist but I barely pay mind to them. He's here and that's all I care about. He’s here and he’s touching me and he’s not okay, but he is alive and that’s all I care about.

"Are you okay?" I murmur into his neck, my eyes closed.

"No," he answers, and while I'm happy with his honesty, I'd do anything to change that answer. "I relapsed. After all those years, I relapsed."

"Spencer," I pull away and put my hands on his cheeks, staring into his red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes, "did you do it? Did you kill that woman and did you take those drugs and did you intend to distribute that stuff?"

"No, absolutely not," he answers quickly, shaking his head. "I-I was there," he looks over to make sure the team has left and they have, to give us privacy, "to get medication for my mom. I'm missing time from the drugs but that's the only thing I'm sure of. The medicine she was on wasn't helping and I found this experimental treatment but this doctor would only give it to me in Mexico and Scratch must have found out and used it against me and I'm so, so sorry, Amelia."

"Okay," I whisper back, nodding. "I believe you, dove. Whatever you tell me, I believe, you know that. The team believes you too and they're doing everything they can to prove your innocence."

He glances into the doors of the bullpen where the team is surely debriefing, now together after almost a week of being apart. Then Spencer brings his gaze back to me and rests his forehead against mine. "Are you okay? You look tired."

"Don't worry about me," I give him a tiny smile. "You worry about you."

"You had a panic attack." He quickly concludes, his face contorting into one of concern. "Where were you? Were you alone? Were you-"

"I was at home and I was with JJ and Penelope, but you know that you're the only one who helps. Anyone other than you just makes them worse. But it's fine, I'm fine. Don't waste your energy on me."

Spencer sighs, resigned, his eyes fluttering for a moment. "Can I give you a kiss?"

I savor the kiss. I savor the moment. I savor the way Spencer tries to get his hands on my back. I know that life is changing for a while. My pessimism is rearing its ugly head and I can't stop it. And whether I'm the only pessimist here or nobody else is confessing what they're thinking, I'm the only one acting on it, it seems. I kiss Spencer with everything I have because as soon as he's here, he's gone. He's sitting in a jail cell and he's staring at all without me and without his team. But this is the change that life has brought us. A change that I refuse to adapt to.

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[itshesdimples]

-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 

I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 

I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 

2 MONTHS AGO

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 

As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.

* 9 MONTHS AGO* 

The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 

"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 

Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 

"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 

"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.

"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 

"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 

The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.

"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.

He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 

"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 

"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 

"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 

For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 

(FLASHBACK)

"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.

"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 

(END OF FLASHBACK) 

Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.

"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 

*7 MONTHS LATER* 

Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 

The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 

You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 

But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 

*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 

Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 

As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 

"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 

You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 

The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 

Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 

"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 

You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 

"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.

"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 

You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 

Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 

Is there a message? 

That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 

"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 

"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 

[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 

Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 

"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 

"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 

You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 

All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 

If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 

Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever.