#I. enjoy my life. I just feel like I don't deserve to. I haven't earned it. I'm disgustingly useless

[spocks-kaathyra]

really nothing more detestable than a coward

[cherrysnip]

i hate you (affectionately) — jeon wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x reader

content: fluff, college au, tutor!won, junhui is your twin brother

wc: 770

"Hey Y/n? Are you okay? Why do you look so glum?" Your older brother Junhui pinched your cheeks waking you up from your reverie. You just sighed and removed his hand from your face.

"Maybe I really did something bad on my past life to deserve this punishment," you shook your head in dismay. "Why do you even have to suck all the genius blood in our mother's womb and then left nothing for me? What a twin brother you are."

Junhui let out a hearty laugh. He's obviously enjoying this. "So you're being like this because Wonwoo is tutoring you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" you hissed at him. "You could've at least convinced Mom that you'll just be the one to tutor me. You're one of the top students, for God's sake!"

"Yes, but I'd rather not do that because one,” he held up his hand before you and folded a finger. “You're unbearable and you always have a lot of things to complain when I'm teaching you. Two, I have better things to do and three, I'm helping my bestfriend earn his voluntary work hours."

"Just say you love your bestfriend than your own sister."

"I don't. I still love you more. But this might prove beneficial to you in the long run, just give it a shot."

"And how would it benefit me? I would have to spend an hour a day with your prick of a bestfriend! Do you know how torturous that is for me?"

"Well, I think not as torturous as me having to put up with all your unreasonable whining," said a familar voice which was obviously not Junhui's. You turned around only to find the person you have been badmouthing right now. He's still wearing his university uniform with his spectacles on.

Okay. It's hard not to notice that he looks so handsome with it but of course, you're not gonna admit that out loud.

"Bro, you're finally here!" Your brother greeted him and they did this fistbump thingy they always do when they meet each other. "Just please pretend you didn't hear what she said. She didn't have her daily fill of coffee so she's a little dramatic right now."

"She's always dramatic," Wonwoo shrugged. "I'm used to it by now."

You automatically groaned in annoyance, "Don't talk that way about me like I'm not here!"

They both stared at you for a second until Junhui tapped Wonwoo's shoulder. "I'm gonna leave her to you now. I know you can handle her."

Wonwoo nodded, "I guess I have to try my best."

Before you could hear any more of their snide remarks, you already turned around and marched your way to the study room where you will be doing the tutoring session.

It didn't take long until Wonwoo finally followed you. He put down his things first on the table before looking at you.

"Y/n," he calmly called and you swear you could feel his stare digging to the deepest part of your soul. "Won't you give me a hug?"

Your lips broke into a wide smile as you rushed over to him and encircled your arms around his neck. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, babe. Haven't seen you in school the whole day and when I finally came here, I had to hear you call me prick," a hint of sulking was etched on Wonwoo's voice.

"You know I didn't mean that," you said and cupped his face using both of your hands. "I just had to put up a show to my brother. I had to hide my excitement or else he'll know."

"Truth is, he already knows Y/n..."

"What?"

"Jun already knows were together," Wonwoo chuckled upon seeing your shock-stricken face. "He actually set up this whole thing. You know he could tutor you himself but he convinced your Mom that I should do it."

"I bet that's why he was laughing at me earlier. I might've looked so stupid. He's really a menace! He should've just told me the truth," you buried your face in his chest while he tightened his hold on your waist. "And you even agreed with him on calling me dramatic!"

"Because it's true?" he teased which earned him a slap on the back from you. "Nonetheless, it's still one of the many things I love about you, Y/n. It's part of your charm."

You giggled upon hearing what he said, "Should we just go on a date?"

"No," he replied. "We should get some tutoring done today or your brother would wring my neck."

--♡--

[stedefxckingbonnet]

If you're doing izzy x reader requests I'd love to see something along the lines of reader killing someone for the first time either to keep Izzy safe or because someone threatened to kill him. With izzy just being shocked/honored that someone would do that for him and it makes him a little bit starry-eyed. Obviously if you're not vibing with this feel free to just use parts or ignore it all together 🖤 thanks for keeping the izzy x reader fics alive

Firstly, thank you so much for that last sentence—words like those motivate me so much more, and bring me so much joy! Thank you to all of you who have welcomed me with open arms, as I sorta feel like I arrived here out of nowhere!! I hope this one does your request justice; how could I ignore it, it's absolutely amazing! Enjoy the rest of your day or night, lovely stranger, and I hope you enjoy this as well! it brought me joy to write and I hope it brings you even more joy to read ♡

P.S. More longer fics coming soon, I promise! I'm still just dipping my toes back in to writing these, and I hope the lengths have been okay thus far! I may even revisit some of these first ones I'm writing down the line and elaborate upon them, if that's something you'd all be interested in.

Eternity | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: death (not of a major character or reader!), mentions of blood, mentions of choking, brief violence beginning and escalating quickly, some language, kissing

Word count: 2755

There was one thing you absolutely dreaded that just seemed to come with the price of being a pirate, almost like a rite of passage—murder. You were lucky enough to have crew mates beside you with the exact opposite opinion to do your biddings for you because, let's face it, even if you didn't want the blood directly upon your hands, there were still people you thought deserved to die, for the safety of yourself and the crew. But the thought of seeing the life escape a person at your own discretion was a thought that absolutely haunted you. Even while sailing with Blackbeard on the Queen Anne you had managed to avoid such a situation. Still, you had always promised yourself that if it were absolutely necessary, you wouldn't hold it against yourself too much. You sighed at that thought, your face slumping into the palm of your hand as you finished your breakfast. Certain mornings, you preferred to rise earlier in order to avoid eating with the crew as much as you absolutely loved them, and Roach understood this, thankfully. Every night before you retreated to your quarters after Stede wove his bedtime tales, he would always discreetly pull you aside and ask whether you would be joining them in the morning and he was always prepared for either response, setting your meal at your usual spot at the table. This had been going on for quite awhile, and you always worried the crew would find out and then take it personally. But, no one ever had.

Though, you were confused as to why there was a second meal beside yours. You tried to eat as quickly as you possibly could in order to avoid whoever it was that might be joining you but of course, you were a smidge too late. Luckily for you, it was none other than Izzy Hands—for others, this would be an unlucky thing, but not for you. Never for you. You almost allowed yourself to smile at his appearance.

"What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you shrugged as he sat beside you.

"Just haven't been liking starting my day with twats," he shrugged back, which earned a laugh from you.

"Am I included in that lot?" You couldn't help but tease him. He always acted annoyed when you did, but you saw right through his act.

"Fuck off," Izzy laughed quietly.

"Aww, I don't get the special treatment?"

"Why should you?" Anyone else would have thought Izzy was pissed off, but you knew better than that. He knew he was teasing you back, or at least, you hoped so. But you knew for a fact he wasn't really annoyed with you.

"Well, we go way back—don't we, Israel?"

Izzy chuckled. It seemed half-hearted, but you knew it was actually genuine, which warmed your heart that you could bring such sweet melodies out of him. "I suppose we do, yes."

"And I do all my chores before you even ask me to, and I get them done fast and still do a good job," you added, only sort of faux smugly.

"You want a sticker for that?" Izzy retorted.

"Wouldn't mind it," you laughed, sighing of relief as you did so. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a smile almost spread across Izzy's usually stone-cold visage, like one of a marble statue. You couldn't help but smile yourself. "Sorry if I kind of rained on your desirably lonesome parade this morning."

"You didn't," Izzy replied nonchalantly, but you knew this was his way of saying he enjoyed your company. You knew him long enough to know that. "I'm glad it's you and not Stede fucking Bonnet."

You chuckled, your eyes rolling in addition. "Yeah. Could've been a lot worse. But, a word of advice—if you don't want to be stampeded by a starving group of "twats", we'd better get going in the next minute or so."

Izzy's eyes widened and he quickly downed the rest of his meal before disposing properly of whatever leftovers you both had. You protested for a moment, claiming you could toss your own remains away, but he insisted, only on behalf that it would make escaping a lot quicker. Once again you saw right through this. You had always found Izzy's funny ways of showing you that he cared about you endearing. You wouldn't trade any of it for the world, as ecstatic as you would be to really hear or see him express appreciation for you. You giggled as the two of you rushed out onto the deck—the sun had just risen, painting the sky a sort of orange and pink hue and birds could be heard singing from a distance, if you listened hard enough. It was breathtaking. it made waking up this early in the morning worthwhile. You looked over at Izzy, who seemed to be somewhat taken by such a sight, until his lips curled into an intentional frown.

"Izzy?" you asked, trying to snap him out of his thoughts. "What is it?"

"Oh," Izzy laughed breathlessly. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

You didn't buy that for a second, but you also knew it wasn't worth your time or energy to press him. You knew how stubborn Izzy could be, and how because of this, he never wanted anyone else's help in any capacity. But he was more pensive than usual; something seemed to be plaguing him, and it plagued you knowing you would most likely never know what it could have been. Without another word, Izzy was out of your sight before you even noticed he left your side. You sighed, almost slumping against the railing. Cheering could be heard from the dining room, but you knew you would catch wind of whatever the excitement was in just moments. Before you could wonder any further, Olu and Black Pete rushed onto the deck to announce the day would be spent on land. You smiled to yourself, thinking perhaps you could get Izzy to join you on an endeavor or two. You rushed over to him with a hopeful glint in your eyes.

"Did you hear? We get a day off!"

"Oh, joy," Izzy mumbled sarcastically. "I should stay behind, watch the ship. Someone has to do it."

"But you did that last time," you pouted. "Come on, Iz. It could be—

"—What? Fun? I doubt it."

You sighed for what felt like a millionth time. You were almost out of breath, but you weren't going to give up this easily. If only you could show Izzy that the world held more wonders to behold, despite all that he had claimed to already have seen in all his years. Or maybe, just maybe, if he saw how much it would mean to you.

"Today is too beautiful a day to waste," you claimed, hoping so much that he would take the hint.

Izzy paused to ponder it. He craned his neck over to meet your eyes. "I suppose I could spare an hour or two."

You almost jumped for joy right there and then, but you only nodded in his line of sight, then allowing for a grin to dominate your expression as you walked away, ready to get off of the ship. Izzy followed behind, and the crew knew better than to follow just yet. Once the two of you stepped onto the dock, then everyone followed suit.

"Don't tell me we're going into some trashy tavern," Izzy grumbled quietly. This sort of surprised you—all these years, did Izzy fake enjoying all of the drinks he would get for himself, talking with others for hours at these establishments? You didn't necessarily adore it either, but Izzy never complained about it.

"I was thinking the pawnshop first, if that's alright with you?" you proposed. "I have a few things I want to get off my hands but don't want in the hands of just anyone."

"Better than what everyone else has going on," he shrugged. You led the way, seeming to know this place like the back of your hand even though to Izzy's knowledge, you had never been here before. But, what did he know of your life before the Queen Anne? He wished he knew more, but he didn't even know where to begin. Flat out asking you didn't seem like it was on the table, as happy as you would be to reveal anything he asked of you, and even happier to hear of his own life that existed prior. Without another thought of this, you led Izzy down a few winding paths until finally, you reached your first stop, not knowing it would actually be the last for the day. You rushed up to the door to hold it open for Izzy, a grin making its way onto your face once again, unknowingly.

"What do ya know, chivalry isn't dead," Izzy muttered but you saw the corners of his mouth rise. With this, you followed behind him, making sure to gently shut the door behind you. You reached into your pocket, revealing a small red velvet sachet. You waltzed right over to the oak countertop, revealing a few shining silver and gold rings and chains, the same smile still existing upon you.

"I can offer you quite a bit for these," the shopkeeper started. "But something your friend over there has interests me far more."

He pointed at Izzy's neck, which only made him self consciously clutch his cravat.

"I'm only offering you what's in front of you," you told the shopkeeper.

"And he isn't right in front of me?" he retaliated.

"You're saying you don't want any of this?"

"No," he sounded as if he were about to snap. "I want all this, and your friend's necktie."

"Well, you aren't getting it, I'm sorry," you spoke sincerely. "But I am happy to offer you any and all of this."

Before you knew it, the shop owner barged out from behind the countertop and planted himself right in front of Izzy's face. He began to undo Izzy's cravat himself while Izzy tried to swat him away, but you weren't going to allow this to happen. You made your way over and tried to pry him off of Izzy, to which you were slapped for trying to do so. You clutched your cheek, almost shouting in pain. Izzy and the owner's struggle was beginning to grow more violent and much more personal than it should have been, and you had never felt more helpless in your entire life. The shop owner had Izzy on the ground and began to choke him, and before you could think it through, you were on the floor, viciously grabbing this stranger by the collar, turning him to face you. You already had your dagger in your other hand and stabbed him right in the heart, wincing as you did so, as the blood spilled out onto his white shirt, and bits of it splattered across your own face. As soon as you were sure he was a goner, you released his body onto the ground. Your dagger slipped out of your hands as you rushed over to your Izzy to help him up. He wasn't ready to stand, you quickly realized, so you sat beside him and rubbed his back as he coughed and tried to regain oxygen.

"You're okay," you cooed, attempting to soothe the man before you. He couldn't muster a word, but he immediately locked eyes with you and his breath seemed to return to him. "You're okay," you repeated for the sake of no one but yourself this time, tears welling in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks.

Izzy looked at you with such a disbelief written all over his face. You, who used to shrivel into yourself at the mere mention of blood. You, who declared to never take someone's life unless absolutely necessary—oh yes, he recalled such a proclamation, loud and clear in the early days of the Queen Anne, and he remembered thinking it absolutely ridiculous. He remembered thinking you wouldn't survive a day bearing that mindset. Yet, you still persisted, and sailed the seas beside him for what felt like an eternity. Normally, Izzy would describe an eternity in such a way that it felt dreary and undesirable, but with you, an eternity was nowhere near enough. If he could, he would spend multiple eternities with you and it still wouldn't be enough. He looked at you as if you were the only other person in the world. Sometimes, he wished you were. Sometimes, he wished it could just be the two of you. Death had never been this close to meeting him, but now that it had, his mortality felt far too real, and his feelings towards you felt far too hidden. Even before this moment, every time the two of you were in close proximity to one another, his heart felt heavy with all of the tenderness he held onto for you, barely being able to contain it and his heart being warm almost felt concerning to him if it hadn't been such a pleasant experience. And it was a bit concerning to him that it felt nice. Especially in this moment, he knew he couldn't conceal himself much longer, not after you had been so willing to sacrifice someone else's life for his. He was honored that you went against your own word for him, of all people.

"Izzy, are you alri—"

Before you could finish your question, and perhaps say anything else in addition, Izzy's lips were on yours. He tried to wipe the blood off of you with his gloved hand the best he could as you kissed him back with such fervor, such longing. You had wanted this for what felt like an eternity. This was what you thought of every time Izzy walked into a room, and even anytime he wasn't close by. There were some moments you couldn't even be around him in fear that you would embarrass yourself and accidentally pour out your heart to him. You never thought this would be happening, you never thought Izzy would even fathom half of what you possibly felt for him, nor even feel any of the same ways. But with all the discreetly exchanged glances, the "accidental" brushes against one another, the excessive lingering while you did your tasks some days, the following your lead whenever you had those scarce days on land, even finding out from Roach the night before that you would be eating your breakfast alone the following morning, there was simply no way Izzy didn't return your sentiments, even if he wasn't quick to show it. Eventually, Izzy had to disconnect his lips from yours, almost gasping for air again. A giggle escaped your lips as he gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and he showed a smile that you had never before seen. You could have sworn your heart somehow gained a mind of its own and began doing backflips—how did it learn to do such a trick?

"I can't believe you did that for me," Izzy beamed, reminiscent of some sort of beacon or lighthouse.

You smiled sheepishly. "Are you mad?"

"The opposite, actually. I know your feelings about killing, and yet—"

"—It was worth it," you assured him, tracing patterns along the small of his back. "You are worth it."

Without another word as you both stood up, your fingers intertwined with his, the ungloved hand, and you slowly made your way back to the ship together, knowing no one else would be there to entice you into any antics. For a moment, it could and it would feel like you and your Izzy were the only two people in the world. You knew this moment wouldn't last forever, but it would already be one to cherish for the rest of eternity, and you hoped that now, you and Izzy could spend the rest of whatever that looked like together, thought it felt like you already have been. Only now, you could look over at him like he was your world, because he is, and not worry about what he would think. Now, he could hold you close to him and whisper everything he's dreamed of ever sharing with you since knowing you. Now, the two of you could truly share your love for one another beyond the end of time.

[wexhappyxfew]

hiya shannon hope youre doing well 😚 now ill let you pick the pairing because i actually haven't watched mota yet (which is treason and all, i know), but can't miss out on a chance to read some of your amazing writing. i thought these prompts were interesting:

3. “Tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again.”

29. “Don’t lie to me. I was there.” 

xoxo hope to hear back from you soon and can't wait to read!

HI FRIEND!!!! i hope you're doing well toooo!! thank you so much for stopping by! awe it's no worries, you know that!! i always say watch when you can or want haha!! :D you're too kind, friend, thank you for the love and support and i hope it lives up to it!!! i picked my OC Judy Rybinski and who she is ~eventually~ paired up with, a fav of favs, Robert 'Rosie' Rosenthal, who i have a few more pieces for as well posted and coming in the next few days!! and, i went with the first prompt offered (#3) as it fit the vibes more here! these two have my HEART! and i hope this piece captures that too :) (also: i will absolutely be getting back to you soon my friend hehe 🥹🫶✨)

let it linger

(a/n): for the judy x rosie girlies again - giving you all the soft, slightly awkward and nervous vibes there is, with a hint of that eagerness and excitement as we near the end of the war! and judy gets a promotion (which she deserves and earns), so please enjoy that! plus, enjoy the slight hint of the imagery of a swan above! they're beautiful!! :D also....just incase i didn't mention it anywhere else (and thinking back i probably didn't) after some of the silver bullets girls get split up, judy gets a position as rosie's turret ball gunner on rosie's riveters!!

"Lieutenant Rybinski, that has a ring to it."

Lieutenant Judy Rybinski. In her eyes, it really did. Lieutenant Rybinski - with her new crusher cap, A-2 jacket fit to the length of her arms and rather tiny form, the Lieutenant bar on her lapel, and the new level of standards she seemed to hold herself to. Judy looked up from underneath that shiny new crusher cap at Rosie Rosenthal and grinned.

"You think?" she asked him with a chuckle, crossing her arms as they approached the mess hall, "I'll be honest, Rosie, I didn't expect it. They don't do that sorta thing real often around here it seems. I know Francis just got the big promotion, but I don't know…." Judy shrugged, "a ball turret gunner doesn't see that sorta stuff." Rosie watched her for a moment, before breaking out into a wide grin and stopping in the path and turning to her, his hands placed firmly on his hips.

"A ball turret gunner like yourself deserves to see that sort of stuff." he said, and then offered her a wink to which she gave him a look. Judy gasped.

"You know something, don't you," she said, leaning forward and popping his shoulder lighting with a finger of hers, "c'mon, spill, what is it?" Rosie watched her and shook his head.

"I just think that Operations really has seen the lengths you've gone in the line of duty," Rosie said with a gentle smile, "your leadership skills, your capability to remain calm under pressure, stepping up to the plate. How you had to come up outta the ball turret and take on tail gunner for the second half of a mission. That sorta stuff doesn't just happen. Some people panic, some stall up. You jumped right in." Judy watched him.

"How would anyone know….?" Judy started, trailing off after his spiel, only to grin like a loon and drop her jaw, when she saw him grinning like he always did.

"It was YOU." Judy managed in a mixture of gasping-whispering-and-excitedly-yelling, before placing her hands on her reddening cheeks and grinning, "You didn't have to!" Rosie laughed lightly and shook his head, before stepping forward and placing his hands on her shoulders comfortably, like they'd been there all her life, his presence both warm and kind.

"I know how hard you work, Judy," Rosie said quietly, the feel of his gaze on her both pleasant and peaceful all at once, "I got mixed up in a conversation with Jack Kidd, he brought up the Silver Bullets, and….well, I couldn't help but bring you up." Couldn't….help? Judy was probably red in the face, but she didn't mind. He couldn't help but bring her up?

"You got that look on your face," Rosie said quietly with a chuckle, "I know you don't like the spotlight, but when people do what you've done, you deserve it." Judy stared at him, fighting back a bit of pent-up emotions that have been living inside her body for months. Despite her feelings towards Rosie as a whole (which had continually grown deeper without fail and had been increasingly harder to hide), and her emotions towards the war (which were ever-present), having someone like himself, taking away her emotions towards him, recognize what she's done, and what her sacrifice has been, made her want to have a breakdown.

"People don't usually tell me that sort of thing," Judy said softly back to him, smiling up at him with her rosy cheeks, "so thank you." Thank you for seeing me, like you always do, Judy thought to herself. Rosie smiled at her genuinely, and then squeezed her shoulders.

"It's always my pleasure, Jude, you know that." Rosie said tenderly, before dropping his hands from her shoulders and crossing his arms, nodding to the mess hall, "Ready for breakfast?" She nodded, but felt rooted in place, eyes somewhere towards the ground.

"You okay?" he asked her, reaching forward and bumping a pointer finger lightly under her chin as she looked up towards him, his hands going back to his hips. The longer she stared at him, the more she couldn't contain her thoughts inwards.

"You're really amazing you know?" Judy managed out, with a nod, "And you've probably been told that a million times, by a bunch of guys, as well as a bunch of girls wanting to have your last name, but, genuinely Rosie, meeting you has meant everything to me. Please know that." Rosie watched her, his turn to get rooted in place as a silence fell around them. Judy's cheeks grew a darker red just as the realization of what she had said to him and she suddenly wanted to take it all back with that look on his face.

"I…" Judy started, "listen, tell me to leave and I'll never bother you again, but, you do so much for me and everyone else around you and you put so much of yourself out there to better others and help other people. And you make sure people are cared for and comforted and doing well and are healthy, which damn, I barely look out for my own health, and you just…" Judy fell at a lose for words as Rosie stood there soaking in her jumbled mess of speech that he was definitely trying to decode in some sort of way. There she goes again, just saying whatever came to mind, right in front of Rosie Rosenthal, her emotions edging her on even more so in recent days it seemed.

Even if all he saw were friendship between them and they'd never be able to explain what all those touches and lingering looks were for whatever was to come, he'd know that she thought he was incredible and someone who has genuinely changed her life. He'd know that for as long as he lived, even it meant embarrassing herself until the point she was red in the face. She noted his slightly red cheeks and the wheels working in his head to speak.

"Thank you, Judy," Rosie said quietly with a nod, catching her gaze as she stared at him, whatever was swimming in his eyes enough to get a smile on her face, at the way he seemed breathless enough without words to stand there in front of her and look at her like that, "it's the right thing to do. Here. Right now. In the world. Help people. Make them know they're an important part in all of this. I….wow, bit of a loss for words, Jude." Judy watched him and then smiled grandly up at him.

"You take a minute to catch your breath," she whispered, before stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, where she might've lingered a little longer than needed, but the spark of connection with that gentle touch was enough to keep her boldly functioning, "I'll meet you at the mess hall." Pulling back she looked at him and so up close, she could see every bit of his eye that you never saw from far away, and it made her smile softly within his general gaze, enough to keep him smiling, himself.

"Even if there are a lot of girls who'd like my last name," Rosie started, referencing her rather bold display of emotions, "none of them have ever kissed my cheek like that."

Judy froze up as she stared at him, her heart pounding so loud in her ears, she swore she had imagined that last part. She stared at him, swallowing her words and thoughts to try and get her body functioning and looked up into his eyes again.

"Maybe because none of them ever had the courage to really get to know you," she whispered back, holding his gaze like a sun to the moon, "and know how much you deserve to be loved like that." And then Judy was stepping away from him, trying to tell herself not to regret every word she was saying, spilling out of her mouth in that moment.

They could go down any day of the week - she was done watching her friends fall in love and then get their hearts torn out of their chests. She was done with the war getting what it wanted. She was tired of people letting the war take away the one thing that was ever-present. Love. Even if it meant a few bold, rather embarrassing forms of half-confessions and awkward, nervous laughter.

And Rosie.

Rosie deserved to know. She just had to find the courage to tell it straight to his face all these feelings she had wrapped up deep inside of her. For now, she'd let those thoughts linger longer.

Maybe.

[solo6677]

Roommates

 Lisa and Richard had been roommates for three long years, but their living arrangement had become far from harmonious. Lisa, a striking beauty with a seemingly endless supply of charm, had never paid the rent. Instead, she would take the money meant for their shared living expenses and use it to fund her extravagant lifestyle.

Despite Richard's repeated attempts to confront Lisa about her selfish behavior, she would simply brush him off with a smile and a wave of her hand. She was self-absorbed, and it seemed that nothing and no one could stand in the way of her desires.

Richard: Lisa, we need to talk about the rent. It's overdue again.

Lisa: Oh, Richard darling, don't worry about it. I've got everything under control.

Richard: I've asked you multiple times to pay your share on time, but you never do. It's not fair to me.

Lisa: Dear, you're being such a buzzkill. Let's just enjoy life, shall we? There's always more money where that came from.

Richard: That's not the point, Lisa. We agreed to split the costs evenly. Your extravagant lifestyle can't come at my expense.

Lisa: Richard, you need to relax. I'm handling things. Trust me, I always land on my feet.

Richard: I hope so, Lisa, because this can't go on forever.

As if her financial irresponsibility wasn't enough, Lisa had also earned a reputation as a bit of a floozy. She slept with both men and women, often bringing them back to the apartment in the dead of night and leaving a trail of chaos in her wake. But what upset Richard the most was that she didn't show any care for him. He had feelings for her but she didn't reciprocate them at all.

Finally , Richard had enough. He couldn't continue to shoulder the burden of Lisa's reckless actions any longer. But as he prepared to confront her once and for all, he couldn't help but wonder: what would it take to finally make Lisa see the error of her ways?

Richard: Lisa, I've had it. Your financial irresponsibility and promiscuity are causing serious problems in our lives. I can't keep bailing you out and dealing with the messes you leave behind. It's time for you to take a hard look at yourself and make some changes. I won't keep paying the rent by myself for you anymore.

Richard had reached his breaking point. After three years of living with Lisa's selfish and reckless behavior, he knew he had to get out. When the rent was due and Lisa didn't have it once again, he made the decision to leave and find a new place to live.

Richard:(firmly) Enough is enough, Lisa, I can't keep covering for your careless spending and reckless behavior. I've decided to move out and find a place of my own.

Lisa:(in shock)What do you mean you're leaving?

Richard:I mean that I can't continue to live like this. The rent is due again, and once again, you haven't come through. I deserve better than this.

Lisa: (crying) But Richard, I promise I'll change.

Richard: I've heard that before, Lisa, but actions speak louder than words. It's time for me to prioritize my own well-being and find a more stable living situation.

Lisa :Please don't leave me.

Richard:I'm sorry, Lisa, but I have to do what's best for me. It's time for me to move on.

Two days later Richard had everything packed and said his goodbyes. He then walked out the door for a new lease on life. Lisa was saddened by Richard's departure.

After a few days she put out an ad for a new roommate, confident that it wouldn't be long before someone jumped at the chance to live with her. But a month went by, and still no one had answered the ad. Lisa began to worry. She couldn't afford the rent on her own, and she knew she needed to find a new roommate fast.

Finally, just when Lisa was starting to lose hope, a woman named Rachel responded to the ad. Rachel was confident and poised, with a striking beauty that immediately caught Lisa's attention. She seemed like the perfect roommate, and Lisa was thrilled when she agreed to move in.

Lisa: Rachel, I'm so glad you got in touch. I was starting to think I'd never find a suitable roommate.

Rachel: I'm happy to be here, Lisa. I saw your ad and just knew this would be a great fit.

Lisa: Your confidence and poise are really impressive. I can tell you're going to bring so much positivity to this place.

Rachel: Thank you, Lisa. I always try to put my best foot forward and make a good impression. I'm excited to be living with you and can't wait to get to know you better.

Lisa: I feel the same way. You have a striking beauty that immediately caught my attention. I have no doubt that we'll get along famously.

Rachel: I'm thrilled to have found such a wonderful roommate. I know we're going to have a great time living together.

But Rachel had a dark secret. She was not who she seemed, and she had her own agenda for moving in with Lisa. Before long, she had turned the tables on Lisa, putting her in her place and taking control.

Rachel was a dominant force. Lisa, who had always been so confident and self-assured, found herself helpless under Rachel's spell. She couldn't resist Rachel's charms, and she soon found herself doing everything that Rachel commanded.

It all started one night when Rachel leaned back in her chair, a smirk playing on her lips.

Rachel: Lisa, darling, I need you to run to the store for me. I'm just dying for some ice cream.

Lisa hesitated, her mind racing. She knew she should say no, but the way Rachel was looking at her made her heart flutter.

Lisa: I-I don't know, Rachel. I have a lot of work to do.

Rachel's eyes narrowed.

Rachel: Oh, come on, Lisa. You know you want to. And I'll make it worth your while.

Lisa swallowed hard, her resolve crumbling.

Lisa: O-okay, I'll go.

Rachel clapped her hands together.

Rachel: Excellent. Now, be a dear and hurry back. I'm getting impatient.

As Lisa left the room, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment. Why was she letting Rachel boss her around like this? But at the same time, she couldn't deny the thrill she got from following Rachel's commands.

As the days went by Rachel did more of these commands. Every time Lisa followed these commands her pussy got wet. She was starting to enjoy her submissiveness to Rachel.

Things only got worse in the weeks ahead. Rachel started to assert more dominance on her and had Lisa do sexual things with her. Rachel would have Lisa eat out her pussy at least twice a day and forbid her to have sex with anybody else.

Rachel: You'll eat me out, twice a day. No exceptions.

Lisa: Yes, Rachel.

Rachel: You're mine, Lisa. Don't forget. And from now on you call me Mistress Rachel

Lisa: Yes Mistress Rachel

Lisa felt her pussy get wet as she called Rachel Mistress.

Rachel: (smirking) I know you want to please me, Lisa. Just give in to it.

Rachel: You're not allowed to sleep with anyone else. Understand?

Lisa: (whispering). Yes mistress Rachel

Rachel: (staring intently) You're going to do what I say, when I say it. And you're going to like it.

Lisa: Yes Mistress Rachel

Rachel: You're mine now, Lisa. And I'm going to make sure you know it.

Rachel : Now show your mistress how much you want her I want you to take off all your clothes and rub your clit until you cum.

Lisa then did what her mistress told her to do. She first slid off her camisole then she undid her bra. Next she slid off her skirt and then finally slid down her panties. Lisa sat on the floor and then rubbed her clit until she came. Rachel just smiled like the Cheshire Cat. She knew she had Lisa right where she wanted her.

In the month that followed Lisa fell more and more into servitude. She would bathe Rachel, make all meals, and was forced to pay the entire rent by finding a second job. She became a stripper at the local gentlemen's club.

One night when Lisa was in between Rachel's legs servicing her pussy, Rachel had an evil grin on her face.She then revealed Lisa how she came to be.

Rachel : You know, Lisa, if you had been kinder to Richard, maybe things would have turned out differently. But no, you had to toss him aside like yesterday's garbage. Well, I have some news for you. I was Richard before I stumbled upon that life-changing elixir. And all I wanted after that was to get my sweet revenge and make you my little plaything. And look at us now. I'm a stunning woman and you're licking my pussy and serving me as my slave. I think it's safe to say I've succeeded.

Lisa sat on the floor, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Rachel, the woman she had come to see as a friend and confidante, was actually Richard, the man she had betrayed and mistreated for so long. And now, she was nothing more than Rachel's slave, a plaything to be used and discarded at will.

Lisa felt a wave of anger and resentment wash over her. How could Rachel do this to her? How could she manipulate and deceive her so easily? But even as these thoughts raced through her mind, she knew the answer: she had let it happen. She had let Rachel take control, and now she was paying the price.

Rachel stood up, a cruel smile on her lips. I hope you've learned your lesson, Lisa, she said, her voice dripping with venom. You may be my slave now, but you can always choose to leave. All you have to do is say the word, and I'll release you from your servitude. But I have a feeling you'll be back. You're a weak and selfish person, Lisa, and you'll always choose the easy way out. Just like you did with Richard.

Lisa looked up at Rachel, her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to argue, to defend herself, but she knew Rachel was right. She had always been weak, always been selfish. And now she was paying the price. She couldn't help but wonder if she would ever be able to break free from Rachel's control, or if she was destined to be a slave forever.

In the months that followed, Lisa sank deeper and deeper into her servitude. She did everything Rachel commanded, no matter how degrading or humiliating. She was Rachel's slave, and she knew it. She had lost all sense of self-worth, and she couldn't imagine a future beyond her life of servitude.

Lisa then did what her mistress told her to do. She first slid off her camisole then she undid her bra. Next she slid off her skirt and then finally slid down her panties. Lisa sat on the floor and then rubbed her clit until she came. Rachel just smiled she knew she had Lisa right where she wanted her.

[hiyutekivigil]

i'm hungover and haven't slept a wink, but i can't give it a rest. a little while ago i was staying with a christian lady who very kindly let me sleep on her couch while i had nowhere else to go just having arrived in a city brand new to me. i had hoped that living with her would help me change my somewhat stiff attitude against christians that my life experience has given me. suffice to say that it didn't, but i did enquire a lot about the way she sees the world, because i wanted to understand. heard a few speeches and came to the realization that religion for her is a strong enough distraction from the reality that makes her suffer greatly. for one thing there is the suppressed homosexuality, but also a wider inability to feel and express love for this world. she frequently goes to squares and parks and such with other believers and addresses people by asking something along the line of: "do you agree that where the world is currently heading is no place good?" usually people agree and then she proceeds to tell them of the gospel, and from what i understand of her words, it foretells that as long as one lives without sin and serving god, repents and prays and so forth, they would have earned a perfect life after death. when i asked her if this were to be heaven, she said, no, not quite. i got the sense that it'd be something more like a parallel dimension or another realm or universe where everything would be in abundance, everyone would get along, in short, a perfect world with no suffering and evil that only those 'selected' would get into as this world goes to shit. so she said she is just floating along this life, not caring much about anything except serving god, waiting for that life. and i responded to her twofold: first, this kind of worldview takes off all responsibility off your shoulders to care for anything in this world besides what you interpret as the bible as commanding. that is a questionable way to live your life in any case, but this morning i can't stop thinking about the second reason for my unease - this sort of premise requires as its fundamental the assumption that this world is bad and only getting worse. it dismisses any faith in humanity and goodness that it would require to even the bad out. and, me, as an existentialist and the believer of no inherit meaning and an absurd world, revolt against any such assumption. i love living beings dearly, and love to consider everything as living or deserving of such respect as if they were. this is not an argument against hers, but i think it's that kind of thinking that would be responsible for making the world better. and we see it every day if we pay attention. and it brings me to tears, to see people wholeheartedly enjoying being alive for small moments during the day or doing selfless things or sweet things. they have no meaning besides the one we attach to them and i believe there may be nothing beyond this, but this! still! despite everything, this is beautiful! and so many people care about so many lovely things and they care about doing good things and being kind and making the world a better place, and they are! they are doing it! we all have been equally thrusted into this space of being, involuntarily sharing with others who we don't ever fully understand and they don't understand us, but we can be curious. we can take up responsibility for each other none the less, and caring and being cared for feels so good. none of us know what came before or what will come after, but we still look up at the sky and wonder infinitely. and we lean against each other and look into other pairs of eyes and recognize that we are here together, and maybe its not so bad at all.

i think more people need hope. despite camu's definition of an absurd man being quite reasonable in a way, it is not applicable for anyone wishing to feel joy and wonder. that feeling as if sparkling water is coursing through your veins and you look around you and your eyes are so wide and you love how you're smiling.

this, i think, does not mean some level of ignorance of all the insurmountable suffering that is happening every second in so many places all at once. but the belief that it balances out with all the good. and that you can be a part of that tipping scale.

[chocobox]

doodled a new self insert who isn't new at all

i have allowed him to enter the world outside of the modern au. becauseee Wellll if it's post canon its not a problem. ive been putting it off though bc of how. Muchhhh it is. but his whole deal came to me fully formed. he may not have to deal with erwin anymore but somehow his life is worse!? poor guy

basic rundown is that he was in a mental asylum for most of his life (because let's face it. i would be.) and when the rumbling happened, he was in a basement chamber in said asylum and got really, really lucky that no debris crushed him to death. he escapes the asylum after the rumbling cuz... y'know. it's no longer there, lol. he had an unhealthy romantic/sexual relationship with one of the doctors there and that really sticks with him. he finds the bit of civilization left and assimilates and most of his oddities are dismissed by Oh he survived the rumbling poor thing 😢 but he has this. eternal impostor syndrome and guilt of like. i'm lying to them, they don't know i'm crazy and a danger to society, i shouldn't be free. because he's not locked up anymore. he feels like he's an escaped convict and hates himself for it, but he's also obviously not going to willingly admit himself to a new one either. that's all stuff he has to grapple with, but he also really enjoys all sorts of art, an affinity he discovered IN the asylum. not much else to do, after all. he expands on that while living on his own and eventually meets levi (ofc.) haven't worked out the details much outside of this but it's all so natural that i'd have an answer to any question which is a crazy feeling. also he has no nipples and definitely lied his way into a double mastectomy. like aaaahh my boobs hurt so much you gotta get em off aaahhhhhh and medicine wasn't far enough yet for anyone to doubt him

he's also really bad at personal hygiene, i'm sure you can imagine why, and specifically sucks at brushing his hair consistently. the hair thing is true of modern monroe as well. having an s/i with hygiene issues to ship with levi is such a gold mine though. also i've been forgetting to brush my hair a lot recently and yet get somehow very surprised when i find it knotted 🤷‍♂️

so excited for him to meet gabi and falco btw he will love them so muchhh and i'm sure seeing that is only going to make levi fall harder

also it's post ww2 technically now so #female "Female" (lol) liberation his ass is wearing PANTS

god it's going to be insane when he tells levi that he's escaped from a mental asylum like he's confessing a deep dark sin, like he doesn't deserve to be among other people, and levi doesn't treat him at all like he expects. he's so anxious and levi's just like. it's fucked up they kept you locked up. and he's like. You're not scared of me? and levi's like i've known people so much worse than you, it's stupid you think i'd be afraid of you. and mimi just feels like such a weight off his chest but it's also such a massive slap to the face he's gonna take a while to process. like wdym i wasn't born to have to earn the ability to be around other people. wdym i'm. not scary and evil. (i'm pulling a lot from my experiences with the mental health system lolll)

[acourtofthought]

Elain's Character:

“Will—will many of these soldiers die?”

“No matter what, don’t kill him. Please.”

But Elain had given it back—had pressed it into Azriel’s hands after the battle, just as he had pressed it into hers before. And then walked away without looking back.

And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her.

..................................................................................

Azriel's Character:

What we did to the Attor wasn’t pretty.”

Az looked over his shoulder. The Attor had given him everything. Now it was just babbling to buy time. I pushed off the wall. “Break its legs, shred its wings, and dump it off the coast of Hybern. See if it survives.”

The Attor was already screaming beneath Truth-Teller’s honed edge when I left the cell.

The next, he’d blasted through Eris’s shield with a flare of blue light and tackled him backward, wood shattering beneath them.

Azriel dug his knee—and all his weight—into Eris’s gut. He was silent, utterly silent as he ripped the air from Eris’s body.

I held his gaze, though. Held that ice-cold stare that still sometimes scared the shit out of me. I’d seen what he’d done to his half brothers centuries ago. Still dreamed of it. The act itself wasn’t what lingered. Every bit of it had been deserved. Every damn bit. But it was the frozen precipice that Az had plummeted into that sometimes rose from the pit of my memory.

Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance.”

Had been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris to Blood Duels and kill them both.

“I’ll defeat him with little effort.” Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true.

Elain tries to be part of the Night Court but cruelty STILL BOTHERS her. They are discussing the Hewn City but torturing people, beating people up, gloating over being able to kill others, that falls under cruelty.

Killing a character because they are about to kill someone you love is one thing (as Elain did with the King), self defense too, but actually instigating and enjoying aggression against another is completely different.

I don't understand how this is so easily overlooked by anti's. She's trying to belong and make a home for herself sure. We haven't seen all she has to offer, sure. But how are we just explaining away the fact that cruelty bothers Elain but she'll magically be 100% ok with how much Az often talks about being fine with the deaths of those he doesn't deem worthy? How his job is the literal definition of cruel punishment?

Elain is a loving, understanding and caring person but people really want her to have to set aside her personal feelings about brutality for the rest of her life so she can end up with Az? They really want her to sacrifice what makes up a core part of her?

Everyone Lucien has had to harm has been in self defense. He killed one of his brothers because they had come into Spring to kill him first. Despite the fact that he struggles with the instincts of the mating bond he still has never gone and threatened or harmed Graysen.

...............................................................................

Lucien's Character:

“The bloodshed that would be required to earn that crown wouldn’t be worth it.

Well, I never want to fight in another battle as long as I live, but … yes, I’m in one piece.”

Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at that manor, he’d run into Elain’s former betrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

The male had grown up alongside Eris. Had dealt with Eris’s and Beron’s cruelty. Had his lover slaughtered by his own father. But Lucien had learned to keep his cool.

Even when the instincts of the mating bond try to take over, Lucien fights like Hell against them because that's not who he wants to be. The bond (something which we know can mess with even the strongest of High Lords) tries to force a violent reaction out of him yet he refuses to give in.

"An uncontrollable instinct—for a mate to eliminate any threat. But he remained sitting. Even as his fingers dug into the arms of his chair."

He does not want to resort to violence.

I sent just the character quotes from above to friends of mine who have no vested interest in the series, whatsoever. They've never read it or heard me talk of it. This was their responses:

"Blue guy is violent, so I don't think that would fit her."

(and I just realized I accidentally cut off a third of Luciens quotes 😂. They would have further solidified his disinterest in violence).

The second friend:

I could have sent them the cute moments between Az and Elain but those don't really matter. There were cute moments between Feyre and Tamlin too. I'm sure if I had sent those, they would have assumed Feyre and Tamlin would have ended up together. You can have cute moments anytime you interact with someone you have a crush on. That's not what makes for a lasting relationship though.

What matters is that two people have similar goals, similar beliefs, and support one another as they grow.

Two nature loving individuals who have similar beliefs on how they want to live their lives and who both think things through rather than acting on impulse in an aggressive way sound like a much better match to me than whatever E/riel would be.

[badedramay]

hania frustrates me in the sense that she chooses interesting characters on their face but the dramas never really live up to the hype themselves and her characterization feels like it loses substance at some point, so i can never feel completely satisfied. like anaa and ishqiya are dramas that i overall did not enjoy watching at all (esp the latter.. even before the abuse reveal i really have never cared for feroze as an actor and found him to be uncomfortably aggressive in a lot of his roles) and they were way too long for my liking but i did think dania and rumi were somewhat interesting. dania choosing to get away completely from the abusive and reductive environment of the haveli to live with her father and pursue studies felt like a good conclusion, but at the same time the buildup to that conclusion wasn’t all that compelling (in all fairness though it’s hard to be compelling alongside shehzad as an actor 💀). and with rumi i do think leaving hamza is something that made sense, bc regardless of however remorseful he was now he had willingly kept from her how extensively he had terrorized hamna previously and how he had only married rumi to continue that reign of terror, even if the circumstances changed along the way. but the ending also felt so abrupt and sudden and never really gave much closure so i couldn’t be entirely satisfied with it either even if i did want rumi to be free

and that’s more or less where i’m at with mujhe pyaar hua tha. awful, awful drama that seems intent to repeatedly brutalize hania’s character for being a victim to other people’s forced choices on her person so audiences can villainize her for not being perfect or loving back the “good” guy. and i have a feeling given hania’s track record (well. with the exception of mere humsafar but that was a train wreck of colossal proportions) that she will end this drama ending up single as well and it will be the conclusion she deserves after all of the abuse. but it won’t feel well earned bc she’ll never really demonstrate a capacity to stand up for herself until only the very last moment. she has a lot of talent as an actress but she never seems to capitalize on it well it’s really a shame :/

Rumi was the one character of Hania that really got her mainstream wali success. it helped her as an actor as well because Rumi closely resembles to how Hania is irl. i mean the mannerisms and all. i don't think any other character of Hania has gotten such success? in terms of success, after Ishqiya it was Mere Humsafar that was a huge hit and Hala was anything but a character with any power or agency. Anaa is remembered more for the Izza Altamash story. and MPHT has fully been a Wahaj show from the start even though the drama has crashed and burned by now.

Hania is not a bad actor. ever since Janaan her potential and especially her strong screen presence has been very evident. but I really don't understand, based on the projects she has done, what is so unique about Hania except her conventionally pretty looks and that dimpled smile? i haven't seen her bring in anything extra to her characters that cannot be credited to her good looks?? and I am talking about projects where the writing isn't on her side aka something like Ishqiya. i always feel like Hania just keeps her personal philosophy of living her life completely locked while choosing a project despite benefiting from it when she's not in character. Hania Amir is the coolest chick on the block; fun, quirky, life of the party but also keeping it real, the most popular girl in high school! but none of the big projects she does has ever reflected that on screen in a positive way? like even Rumi had a very pathetic ending despite her being the ONLY GOOD PERSON In the show (my issues with Ishqiya will never end istg). for someone who advocates for many issues, she hasn't really used the power of the audience pull she has to do something about it through her work. am I making sense?

it's like Hania tried being herself onscreen and realized that doesn't work with the masses so she has now said, 'ya know? fuck it all. i'd rather cry and cower onscreen if it means my projects get the views and ratings and i'll defend my characters when asked about them. i need to pay them bills to live the life I actually want to live. the work i do onscreen is just a job and i need not take it home with me.' which ya know..good for her!

[canongf]

One of my main f/os is from Marvel and I’ve seen so many people say that if you only like the chara/know the lore about the movie version of f/o (the version I ship with) and you don’t know anything about the comic version of f/o you aren’t a real fan or lover of f/o and now I feel so bad especially since I don’t read the comics at all and I already struggle with being good enough for my f/o😭

anon!!! listen to me!!!

self shipping and enjoying things in general is for you! only for you!!! there is no test at the end of your life and you don't get a grade. there is no one that you have to prove yourself to. you are allowed to enjoy things however you choose to enjoy things, however seriously or however casually, and to whatever extent you choose. interests are supposed to be fun!!!

people love to gatekeep for whatever reason. they make up rules and say that you have to do certain things to earn the right to like what you like but you don't. can you imagine if we applied that to everything else? can you imagine if someone said that you couldn't say pasta is your favorite food because you haven't tried every single kind of pasta or you haven't eaten pasta in italy? can you imagine if you started dating someone in real life and one of their friends cornered you to tell you that since you haven't known them since childhood and since you don't know all of their secrets yet that you haven't earned the right to date them? that would be weird and ridiculous. it's always weird and ridiculous. people will make up rules and you do not have to follow them.

but it makes sense to feel the way you do. it makes sense to feel like you're not as worthy or not as deserving. you're not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last. i just want you to know that you are good enough. you don't have to force yourself to do anything to earn your f/o's love, you already have it. and if the movie version is the only version you want, the movie version is the only version you need.

don't worry about what other people say! it doesn't matter. it doesn't change anything. they can see a stranger on the internet enjoying something in different way than they enjoy things and they can get annoyed and they can judge and that's their burden to carry. you deserve to like what you like and you're allowed to decide how you like it! 🖤

[claudiajcregg]

For the Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks <33 🌻 💋 🎀

Thank you, Barbara! 💜💜💜 These were challenging to answer, but I appreciated having to reflect on some of those things! 😌 🥰

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

What makes me want to give up: knowing thinking I'm not that good a writer, and I don't add anything of value to the “archive,” so to speak – especially when I think others (my extremely talented friends) are just doing a much better job than I am tackling similar themes, in a more engaging way. Also, and perhaps relatedly, my insecurities (the language barrier! the feeling I haven't improved a bit!) and the lack of feedback/engagement I sometimes perceive I get. I am aware I write for a small, often unfairly maligned ship, but I'll still overanalyze when some people leave a nice comment but don't kudos, for example. (Depending on my mood, I'll either think it was a silly oversight, or they were humoring me.) tl;dr: I don't like the effect craving this validation has on my mental health, basically, esp when it's something I've successfully curved in other areas of my life.

What makes me keep going: to be honest, I've been struggling with this for the past year (see: 'why do this when I think others are just doing a much better job'). I've been writing quite frequently for the last six years (posting infrequently, only for two-ish), and it's something that makes me happy. I don't plan on stopping at this moment. Posting is something different altogether. I do crave validation, unfortunately, and compliments make me feel flattered and so very happy. But… I like thinking that someone out there will find a couple of my fics years down the line, just like I did with some authors myself, and they'll enjoy them, even if they are not that good!

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

I'd love to, if they want to reply, but I don't need to get a reply! Comments are a way for readers to let authors know how they felt, but once they are out there, they belong to the author more than to myself. I understand why some don't like to, or don't want to, respond, but I know that doesn't mean they don't appreciate them. Comments are so personal! 🥹 (I can't express myself properly today, so I hope that made some sense.)

I personally do it, if only because I want to thank them for taking time to read + comment. I also love rambling about things they touch on (and hope they don't mind my doing that). Sometimes it takes me weeks to get back to it, particularly if I'm in my feelings about writing and don't feel deserving of love for it. (People kept being sweet and reassuring but my insecurities still got/get the best of me. Fun times!)

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Ah, pasapalabra. Can't avoid it? Uhhhh. I basically can't judge my writing – I'm my biggest supporter and my harshest critic. But…

I sometimes go back to some stories (but never somewhere I've already posted it in) and find myself impressed about how decent they are, and/or feeling emotional about things that happen in those stories. As if I hadn't written them and knew its emotional beats. I guess… I can be good at emotion and making it feel earned? (I'm at a loss. Pls help.)

Thank you again, Barbara! This was fun 💜 (more answers and the questions here)

[theinfinitedivides]

I thought I was seeing things when I first saw the oneus news today. They aren't my ults nor was ravn my bias (keonhee hello) but my friend loves him and I've had to console her all day.

Regardless of if it's true or not, or half true half a lie, it's B A D and I can't really see anything other than him leaving.

At first it read so much like Lucas' situation last year in NCT for me so I was a bit unsure, but there seems to be far more evidence. Also, I'm not one to discredit someone making such serious accusations. It should be taken seriously.

I don't really know how to feel. I was meant to see them live and I do like their music a lot and enjoyed his voice, and now it just feels... empty?

Not to mention it makes me scared. It may sound selfish (because it partially very much is), but it makes me wonder what other group is next. If there's anything else that someone I look up to has done that goes along these lines. It makes me feel sick. It makes me want to tune off anyone I may enjoy watching or listening to.

It just makes me wonder what else is secretly tainted and I HATE that. I really hope this situation is resolved and taken seriously by the company and that he leaves. And to anyone who loved ravn or oneus, I hope you're doing as well as you can right now 💕

i completely understand, tbh—i starting following oneus during their pre-debut days and then really got into them after their official debut in mid January of 2019, which was a really rough period for me since i had just lost my aunt a few weeks prior at the beginning of the month. i think my relationship with them was more of a comfort group than an ult, in a sense? even if after this news i do decide to continue listening to them (which, depending on what RBW decides to do, is still an option) that's the category they'd stay in, although i'm not sure how much comfort they'll offer.

i was also hesitant to talk about it here bc it did feel like the Lucas situation (which still has some contradictory points in my opinion/much less evidence for the case), but as soon as i saw the OP talk about how he gaslighted her and mentioned wanting to kill his ex-girlfriend i knew i had to speak up. on the writeblr side of Tumblr i've been gaslighted and threatened by several users over the years (all of whom i have blocked and reported), so ik how terrifying that can be in my own life. no one should have to go through that, especially at the hands of someone who claims to love them/wants to marry them in the future.

my Spotify library has been..... in limbo, during the last few hours, and i haven't touched a single song from them. it sucks, and it's not fair to the rest of the members, but this isn't like with Woojin or Wonho where we had circumstantial evidence (which was shaky at best and eventually proved to be downright false in both cases), or with Hanbin, where the evidence we did have was greatly blown out of proportion and the actual crime was much milder than we thought. this is a detailed list of allegations with electronic trails, and he has had his hands in most of the group's work. Blood Moon, which earned them several awards, opens the album with a prequel track—an absolutely gorgeous piece and some of their best work to date—where he raps through a lot of the lines with Leedo. i don't know if i'll be able to separate the art from this part of the artist, and frankly i don't want to think about that rn when everything is so fresh.

pls know, however, that you are completely valid in being worried about other groups—not a day goes by where there's a new scandal in the industry and i don't immediately think of some of my own biases, and i wonder if getting into k-pop was worth it. but you do not deserve to have your happiness taken away from you bc of things that have not happened yet (and may never happen) to people that you enjoy listening to.

at the time i'm answering this RBW has put out a statement saying that they're investigating the charges and taking them seriously, but they won't be commenting on anything else until the internal investigation is finished. even if he is proven innocent (which is looking to be more and more unlikely) he's pretty much ruined his career, damaged those of his fellow members, and ended years long friendships with other 4th generation idols. (CyA from onewe [oneus' sister band] privating all of the tracks they produced together and unfollowing him on SoundCloud is a pretty clear sign in my book that this is as bad, if not worse, as we think it is—they've been friends for years, and him taking this step [after most likely trying to confirm the details himself] means both bands are on very shaky ground.) i don't want oneus to disband—not when everything is finally starting to look up for them—but i want people to be held accountable for what they've done. if him leaving is equivalent to that, then let him leave. let him leave, and let the others live in peace. let them come to terms with this, and figure out what they want to do next. let them be able, in the future, to stand on their own two feet, so that fans can hear about oneus and think of their music and their accomplishments. not this.

[the-owl-tree]

Hello!

I started reading the series this year out of pure curiosity so I'm very new to Warriors. I just finished the first four arcs of Warriors + The Apprentice's Quest and while there are a lot of things I didn't like about the series there's something about it that just makes me want to see what happens. In particular I liked OotS a lot and I'm really looking forward to the rest of AVoS,

My question is: is it worth reading any of the novellas, super editions or mangas as someone who has 0 nostalgia for the series? I have been told that they contradict a lot of things and/or retell things we already saw so they don't sound like a great time. Yellowfang and Hollyleaf are my favorites so far and I heard how bad Yellowfang's Secret was. I considered checking out Hollyleaf's Story but I'm not sure if it's worth my time after hearing all this.

it's a mixed bag and honestly up to what you find personally enjoyable in the series, wc side books have some good stuff and some bad stuff. if you like journey books then you'll like some of these, if you enjoy more dialogue than action then you'll like some, it really is up to preference! my own recommendations would just be to skip whatever doesn't sound interesting to you if you're not interested in reading everything lol but if you would like some recommendations:

(this got long sorry lol)

for super editions, bluestar's prophecy is a fine book, if you're interested in an in-depth exploration of bluestar's life and a better understanding of some bg characters in tpb then i'd recommend it! while the core conflict and relationships are weak when you think about it, i think it does well enough in selling the situation that you can give it some suspension of disbelief

crookedstar's promise is arguably the best written with great conflict and some great relationships. it's popular for a reason and i think it earns the hype it has in the fandom as a solid book. it's flimsy in some parts but it does better than expected when compared to usual wc books.

i'm tentative to put tallstar's revenge simply because i actually don't think it deserves a lot of the hype it gets lol the conflict is weak, the resolution is disappointing, and jake doesn't get nearly enough spotlight imo however if you like travelling books and want some more books that talk about windclan culture and history, i recommend this one simply for the worldbuilding!

uhhh for more like supplementary reading, firestar's quest is fine (with some creepy romance conflict) and does well enough for what it has to do. i haven't read hawkwing's journey (and haven't heard good things) so i can't comment too much on it but i think, even though i haven't read it, i would recommend tigerheart's shadow as both avos reading and a general understanding of his character for the newer arcs

everything else i havent read or did not like lol

for novellas, i actually enjoyed hollyleaf's story! it's a contained narrative about hollyleaf dealing with everything and if you don't mind a lot of talking and reminiscing with some not subtle writing, it's a decent character piece.

cloudstar's journey is a sombre novella and for that i recommend it, i love the interactions in it and the growing desperation of the characters. if that doesn't sound appealing to you, feel free to skip but if it does, then i recommend!

mapleshade's vengeance aka the scourge of fandom discourse is a fun read, absolutely recommend. it's nothing new or original but it's great to have a protagonist who just fucks shit up.

pinestar's choice another interesting read, pinestar as a character is divisive (for a lot of reasons) but on its own, i think it's really interesting. there's some great moments where he reflects on the clan and i wish there were more moments like that in the series!

blackfoot's reckoning what if god tortured you psychologically with your own memories? very enjoyable even if it isn't that meaningful in the long run

and moving onto the mangas, i actually recommend them all? i love graphic novels, manga, manwha, webtoons, etc. so i'm quite biased towards any visual book and will enjoy myself reading them lol but for more detailed thoughts:

the rise of scourge is a classic for a reason, solid villain origin story.

graystripe's adventure or whatever it calls itself is...fine, it's a fun little adventure trip that gets you invested in graystripe and millie's relationship as well as showing how he got home. if you want a low stakes adventure comic series, check it out.

ravenpaw's path is just a little post-bloodclan adventure for him. if you want to see more of ravenpaw and barley or see what happened to bloodclan after the darkest hour, check this out!

tigerstar & sasha is contentious series, some people like it and others don't. i enjoyed it as a bleak trio of novels, i genuinely feel so bad for sasha :( if you can get past the wonky art then i recommend it!

skyclan and the stranger is...mixed, it's got some nice background designs. if you like gorge skyclan or a certain eclipse antagonist then i'd recommend, just don't expect anything amazing.

a shadow in riverclan has a strong start, a weak ending, and some very confusing characterization if you read the new prophecy after lol i enjoyed feathertail's struggle and would recommend it simply if you want some acknowledgement for whatever the fuck happened in tigerclan

winds of change is an excellent standalone manga that highlights mudclaw's perspective during the windclan rebellion in tnp, it's enjoyable and while he's definitely not in the right, you do understand his perspective a little more after it.

exile from shadowclan is one i'd recommend just for the art, the way james barry utilizes shadow and the landscape is great and i found myself looking at the pages more for the artwork than the story at times! while it's wonky and has some...really weird choices, i'd just read it if you're interested more in brokenstar's reign over shadowclan.

aaannddd those are my recommendations! apologies it got a little long, i wanted to ramble lol i'm probably not the best person to ask since i havent read everything but i appreciate you reaching out nonetheless! hope you find something you like :)

[casspurrjoybell-19]

Does it Matter? - Chapter 27 - Part 2

*Warning: Adult Content*   

"Neglected."

"Has Brayan not been taking care of you?"

"Maric," Dara said because he did not have the energy to explain this properly right now.

Maric was silent for a moment.

"I have not been taking care of you properly, you're my slave."

Dara didn't say anything.

"No, you're my... I don't know. We had something, didn't we? Something else or at least the beginnings of it and I walked away from that."

"Yes because a healer was worth more to you, even the possibility of a healer was worth more to you."

"That wasn't why."

"You treated me exactly how I was treated by others when it was why."

"I didn't know what to do, Dara. You do know the reason you're not supposed to have intimate relationships with healers is to avoid causing them trauma, yes?"

"It's to avoid risk to an asset in the same way that there were likely things you weren't permitted to do as a child that other children were, despite their parents loving them and also not wanting any harm to come to them. You can't live a good life by minimising all risk but you can protect an asset that way."

"What we had... that's something you still want?"

"Yes, Maric."

Maric was silent for a long moment.

"Why?"

"Because you're kinder than you have to be and most people aren't. They like to believe that they are but deep down it's just a means of earning social currency. The moment they have power over someone, the kindness disappears."

"I suppose I wouldn't know much about that. There aren't many people I've been powerless to."

"That's how I know I can trust you. Things haven't been perfect, you haven't been perfect but even when you thought I was just a damaged, worthless slave you still considered my feelings. I think if I became a free man tomorrow, there would always be a part of me that looked at every friend I made, every lover I took, and wondered what they'd do if the power balance was tipped between us. It's so hard to know what kind of darkness people are capable of but with you... with you I know."

"I saw my father harm many people when I was a child. Often they were slaves but sometimes they weren't. Some of them were my friends. At some point I realised that the part of me that cared was starting to shut down so that I could protect myself emotionally and that terrified me because what if that was the first step in becoming like him? What if each day you care about people a little less until you start to enjoy their suffering? As an adult, as a leader, these sorts of things become more complicated but I still panic a little when I realise I've been callous and when nobody questions you, it's easy to do."

"I question you."

"And I appreciate that you do. I like knowing that you won't let me hurt you. Or... I've hoped that you wouldn't or that we were past a point where you would and then I found out I knew nothing. That you were still quietly letting me treat you poorly."

"Being treated like a healer isn't necessarily better, it's just lonely."

Maric shook his head.

"I understand that. There are aspects specific to it that you find distasteful but there are certain things, certain signs of respect and consideration, that are extended only to healers. Other slaves, we must constantly display our dominance over."

"Yes, that's true."

"And I was doing that, perhaps poorly at times but I was trying to. I saw it as important, as did Brayan and we worked to strengthen that dynamic but Dara, that's not a law, that's social respectability."

"Social respectability is rather important for a prince."

"Being treated like a person is rather important for a person, of course a little discretion is called for but what I did wasn't what was best for you and I only considered that when I found out you had status."

Maric tightened his arms around Dara.

"I don't deserve you."

"I don't know that I agree but getting rarely has much to do with deserving."

Maric hummed his agreement.

"You never really answered the question. What do you want from me?"

"Just... this. I want you to hold me and talk to me like I'm a person. I want to know that you care and that you'll be here. I don't mind if we have to pretend things are otherwise when we're in public. I understand the necessity but when we're alone... this. I want this."

"And... the more physical elements? Do you truly want those? Did you ever?"

"I want it but if the taboo is too great I understand. I wouldn't want to pressure you into doing anything you're uncomfortable with any more than you want to do the same to me."

"I don't think I would have the strength not to, when you're here and willing. Mathers seems to think it has done you no harm."

"No, Maric, it hasn't harmed me. The Eth hold no such belief regarding healers and sex."

Maric nodded decisively.

"We'll make this work, then. I'm not sure how it will look when we're in public but we'll figure it out."

"Together," Dara added.

"Yes, together," Maric agreed.

[ahiddenpath]

When it comes to love, do you think "you only deserve as much as you're willing to give" is a healthy or problematic mindset?

I think, as with most things, the important thing is flexibility.

If you don't mind, for discussion purposes, I'd like to remove the word "deserve," because there isn't some kind of... Love arbiter out there, decreeing whom should receive what.

So this asks really plays with a few topics that I'm lowkey obsessed with, including boundaries and self-esteem. There's a lot to this, so I'll try my best to be organized beneath the cut.

Any time I use the word "you" in this response, it's a general you.

Many things in life have a reciprocal nature, and this isn't just true for humans! We've even seen the concept of reciprocal altruism in vampire bats! Vampire bats hunt for blood each night, and sometimes, even the most fit bat doesn't find anything. Vampire bats who share excess blood with their friends will be given excess blood when their hunt fails. These sharing bats enjoy a higher survival rate than bats who do not share!

However, even the bats can exploit each other by taking blood before a close relationship is developed, or by taking without giving back. You can read about this here! So like, there are pitfalls and nuances for reciprocation, even for vampire bats! Of course humans have a lot to navigate with it.

Personally, I think "we get what we give" is a great starting point for relationships. If you want love/attention/affection, then you should give it in a way that is respectful of the other person (and wanted by them). Reciprocity may sound cold on paper, but it's just... Kind of how things work? Think of those phrases like, "Treat others how you want to be treated," and "Teach others how to treat you by example." Most humans feel appreciation for kindness and wish to return it! Reciprocity is not nearly as calculating as it may sound.

But there are so many caveats. These things are the most simple I can think of, so I'll just knock them out:

-All humans deserve basic respect and kindness. I am taking love here to mean close individual relationships.

-Children deserve love from their families, full stop, no need to earn it or win it or whatever.

-Sometimes, everyone needs extra help, so relationships need to be flexible enough to accommodate for this. For example, I once broke my leg and was forbidden to walk for 3 months. My husband took care of pretty much everything for those 3 months, until the doctor cleared me. Pulling your loved ones through crises as much as you safely can is a key aspect of love.

In general, people won't be keen to befriend someone who wants to take more than they give from a relationship. And people can't discern that someone wants to be friends if that person doesn't approach them and slowly start building a relationship. However, Americans in the year of our lord 2023 are reporting being lonelier than ever in consensus surveys, according to PBS. I imagine, especially since the pandemic, this feeling has augmented globally.

This means that people are starving for love, like those vampire bats starve after a failed hunt. I imagine that now more than ever, people might be tempted to try to squeeze love or attention out of people around them in inappropriate ways, like bats asking for blood without intending to give back, or asking for blood from a bat they haven't formed a solid relationship yet.

If you feel that you are not receiving what you give from a relationship, it might be time to talk things out (if you feel that the other person will listen and want to work through things) or adjust how you relate to that person (if you feel that they either will not respond or will escalate). For example, just last night I was thinking about an old friend whom I stopped contacting. I would message them, they would either not respond or say hi and ignore any follow up qs I asked about them/their life. It hurt so much, because I loved them, but I opted to give that time, energy, and emotional space to people who were happy to message me back. I still miss them, but I don't torment myself anymore by messaging them and receiving just a "hi" if I'm lucky.

That, too, is reciprocation.

In short, "you get what you give" is a fantastic starting point, and it should always be a goal to repay kindness shown to you (within your ability/health/resources). But it isn't 100% realistic or possible, so we have to be flexible.

And here are some other things to consider, just because I'm so interested in these concepts.

Boundaries

Boundaries are an individual's decision about the behaviors they will or will not accept from others. Just to be clear, boundaries are always about an individual's response to behavior, and never about controlling anyone else's behavior. Thus:

Not a boundary: "You can't talk to me about x."

Boundary: "If you bring up x again, I will hang up/leave."

And one super, all-important thing about relationships is that no one can control how others feel about them, or what other people want or do not want to give them, or how other people want to express their love. People can and should discuss these things and come to a mutually satisfying conclusion, of course! But no one can control the actions and feelings of others.

What I'm saying here is that other people decide how much love to give you, or to not give you. You can shower someone with love all your waking hours, and they might reciprocate, or they might not. I've seen people try to "earn" love by being as loving and generous as possible, only to have it backfire in some way. Maybe it isn't reciprocated, maybe the other person feels that it's too much, maybe the other person even suspects an ulterior motive because of how forward/how much it is.

Conversely, you might have an acquaintance that you like but don't consider a close friend who cares about you a lot! It works both ways.

You can't control the, um, "flow" of love by being extra gracious or withholding on purpose. You can't control how others feel about you. I think the best thing to do is be honest and forthcoming, and don't force things.

Self Esteem

I'm lowkey screaming inside because I wrote a completed fanfic called Seeking Resonance where self-esteem and love are a huge theme. Koushiro has a break up from a relationship that just sort of... Mutually wasn't working out, and he's really torn up and at a low point. He starts telling himself that he isn't worthy of love, because he somehow hurts the people he cares about. Which is, of course, a massive cognitive/emotional distortion caused by a few colliding issues in his life at the time.

Eimi has an amazing line when she finds him basically drowning in his feelings. Koushiro has decided that his loved ones are better off without him, to which Eimi loses it and says something like, "We decide how we feel about you, not you."

It's so, so easy for self esteem issues to get tied up in how we love others. If our self esteem is low, we might avoid relationships, or we might give more than we can to try to "win" the love we feel we don't deserve otherwise.

I'm not a psychologist, but if your relationships feel out of whack, maybe check in with how you feel about yourself. It can be difficult to be good to others when you're not being good to yourself.

In conclusion, I personally think we should try to give back the love we receive, and to trust that love given will be returned to us in some way, all while not keeping track of these things in an exacting way. If we fail to reciprocate, others may step back from us. If someone takes too much consistently, we might back away from them. We can't control others, either by giving or withholding love.

Deciding how to allocate our time, energy, and love is an extremely difficult aspect of being human. I guess, at the end of the day, we have to give as much as we can, but also take care of ourselves when the giving balance is consistently out of whack.

Thanks for the interesting ask! <3

[beykhabarr]

Hi i saw you're post about deserving good things - honestly what helped me with the 'if I deserve the good things that happen i must also deserve the bad' is moving the narrative to be that good and bad things happen and there's no reasoning behind it either way and that's alright! you can still appreciate the good things (because its not about whether you deserved/earned it, it just is) and by the same token the bad that happens isn't your fault its just sucks and sometimes life be like that - I don't know if that will help at all but it helped me ..... Also don't forget that even when you're feeling low you're the good in someone else's life, personally i really enjoy seeing you posts come up on my dash so you can't argue there's noone bc I am at least one person (or possibly a collection of intelligent raccoons - unconfirmed bc anon) Anyway hope you smell something really nice today, like cinnamon rolls cooking

Hellow anon, I don't usyally expect follow ups on the crap that my brain lets out but what you said makes sense it does happen randomly but lately it just feels like nothing is working out in sorry for trauma dumping on this ask lmao but I've been my depression took a new low last night and haven't really gotten any sleep and the only seretonin I'm getting is from lying on the floor because it's cold. So uhhhhh for the past three years now nothing has been working out things keep getting progressively worse and the randomness of good and bad things just happening is something that I really really want to advocate for but just nothing good randomly just happens to me? And it's just been a series of unfortunate events. And I'm very very very very very tired. Last night the monstrosity of just how alone I am finally hit I am not where I wanted to be in life I don't feel loved cared for valued or even remotely understood my days are empty and I haven't gotten any of the things that I worked for my health keeps getting progressively worse and I'm in so much pain constantly and just nothing good is happening. I am not happy or satisfied and I don't think I want to fight for anything anymore or wait for anything anymore I just idk what I want anymore I think I'll continue laying on my floor

I am glad you enjoy seeing my posts on your dash sorry for thr rant lmao Ily you're very sweet I hope you have a great day anon.