#IS IT NOT COMMON SENSE TO JUST. NOT FUCKING DO SHIT LIKE THAT

[queenofallimagines]

Lucifer with a southern s/o

A/N: was thinking about how fucking WEIRD southern sayings are bc like ik he would go through the 7 stages of grief

Lucifer:

- he’s stressed

- Satan is cackling

- He’s like where on EARTH did you hear that??

- Like damn humans think THAT about him?😭

- “Mammon: Yo mc look! It’s raining while it’s sunny outside

- Mc: oh yeah. That means the devil beating his wife

- The whole ass room stills

- “….i beg your pardon??”

- “It’s this weird saying old people use when it’s raining and there’s no clouds. ‘The devil is beating his wide and marrying his child’

- “IM WHAT???”

- The way these usually have Satan at the beginning but they’re not the same person so he’s dodging the bullets

- He’s got so many more grey hairs

- You’ll be chilling w him in the student council room and mammon start w some bullshit

- “The devil is a lie! I saw your ass steal that!”

- He’s withering away💀

- Diavolo is like???

- “MC are these common sayings?”

- “Mhm especially in the Bible Belt they got a lot of them”

- “Can I hear some more?”

- “PLEASE don’t do this to me”

- He’s stressed bc on one hand it’s a habit so he can’t tell you to stop

- On the other why do humans say this why do they think this WHO MADE THAT RUMOR??

- “My grandma said if you run around the house three times you could hear it-“

- “WHAT??!?”

- He’s on his knees crying for this to stop bc you don’t have any explanation behind them

- “Idk they just told us that.”

- “But WHY? Like what’s the myth behind that??”

- “I think someone just made it up there’s no story.”

- Does keep a list down of the shit you say so he can translate it

- Ngl he was giggling when you told mammon he “ain’t got the sense god gave him”

- “When it was thundering and sunny they used to say god moving the furniture around.”

- “….okay that might actually be true.”

- Like he’s 20 pages deep in Google trying to find an answer

- “Hailing when it’s sunny means the devils wife is cheating on him.”

- “Mc my beloved I’m gunna need you to explain this shit to me”

- He’s like tired to his very soul

[t4tdanvis]

every time i meet a laurance stan theres like a 15% chance theyll like gene, 25% chance theyll just go "eh ok", and a 60% chance theyll go "hey u really like this character right? and u dont want people hating on ur comfort character right to ur face right? here have a 20 paragraph essay i typed up on how much i hate him, including details like how i portray him as an abuser and a rapist! u dont need to thank me :)"

[steakout-05]

how i feel about TBYS causing a shockwave effect of everyone dogpiling on and harassing Illymation and spreading extremely easily disprovable and malicious misinformation about her and putting her in a lot of danger for literally no legitimate reason

[bijoumikhawal]

got reminded of the "saying Arabs conquered and colonized North Africa is Zionist because obviously no one saying that coulx possibly draw a distinction between North African Arabs and Palestinian Arabs, and even drawing a distinction between Arabs and Imazighen is colonizer shit" school of thought

[prisonpodcast]

Twitter just sucks

☹️

[luna7822]

i do wish there was a blocking feature in splatoon tbh so i can get those assholes to stfu for once like the egotistical losers that they are and ur fav sucka too and i also hope she continously loses even more since u assholes arr the reason why u cant let anybody have fun and its literally ur fault to begin with and nobody fucking cares abt ur stupid dumb usesless """"""celebrations""""""" anyways as well as how u basically give frye of all ppl the pearl treatment for no reason whatsoever when even ur so called """""fav character"""""" has more common sense than u do and that shiver and big man are 1000000000000000x better anyways since frye really is kinda overrated because of a CERTAIN GROUP in particular am i right??????????????????

anyways im prob not gonna gp back there for a while until every1 can finally stfu for once cuz i wish samr ol actually won instead of u c**ky overly sensitive pieces of shits who ruin everything for once cuz honestly who even fucking cares lmaoooooo

oh and btw my biggest regret was not joining team friday in the weekend splatfest since i wish i was on that team for once just to make u all pathetic pieces of shit clowns feel bad since all u idiots ever do nowadays is take silly fun thinga way too srsly and that the onlh reason i kinda joined saturday anyways is only cuz i just like it and not being overly obsessive abt it compared to all pf u dumb fucking losers out there who have 0 to no sympathy whatsoever

talk abt """"""good sportsship"""""" am i right????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 🙃

[starlooove]

Why are people surprised that Zionists are being abhorrent at these protests and then sayin they’re victims. Ig surprised isn’t the right word but people keep pointing out ‘this doesn’t make sense’ like it’s a fallacy in a discord debate like this is just how racism has always been

[demonstars]

like whats actually edating

[ozlices]

i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person

[handshakewdeath]

anyone else having a hard time feeling any sort of sincerity in idkhow's (read as: exclusively dallon) portrayal of gender and use of dark imagery through the lens of "dallon is an active member of the mormon church and takes his kids to mormon church services"

[timeisacephalopod]

Why do right wingers go on and ON about "father's in the home" when fathers are basically useless in the home? Like every year I see posts that go around about "dad finding out about what I got for Christmas" and it's like if fathers are so uninvolved they don't even know what Christmas gifts their kids are getting I don't think them being gone does much?? Like of course there's good and bad parents of all genders, but traditional gender roles- which the aforementioned right wingers ascribe to- mean men do jack fucking squat in the house OR anything with their kids so what the hell do right wingers think men are doing that's so important in the home if it's none of the childrearing or house work??

All I've got in this framework is a paycheque and these days women work so men wouldn't even be contributing something women DON'T, so I have no idea what these people think men are doing that it's so irreplaceable that being gone is damaging to children when by all means under their ideas of gender and family men are less than useless to their family. Women do all that work (and barring that, DAUGHTERS do more parental work than fathers so them being gone does what, exactly, except maybe rid the family of an overgrown child? Men who actually contribute are the ones families would be damaged without, not traditional men who probably don't even know how to do their own laundry OR cook or have any life skills because women have done everything for them their whole lives so???)

[ichorblossoms]

googling bee anatomy shit for monstery yarrow purposes and sitting here like. yeah this ain't gonna work i gotta make this up on my own or just straight up not go with that idea

[flareguncalamity]

my toxic trait is that i saw a “fun fact” on a girl’s profile in a dating app, went this doesn’t fucking sound true, and spent over half an hour hunting through primary sources linked on wikipedia and learning the etymology and history of word-usage just to prove the very specific and meaningless thing she said was false and then tell her that through the dating app. she’s not even my type

[eyrieofsynapses]

hmmm.

well I would've sworn I turned off Tumblr Live a few days ago but okay then--

oh, excellent! because lengthening the snooze time is SO MUCH EASIER than just letting us turn the fucker off.

welp. take what we can get ig

oh-kay then back to our regularly scheduled--

...fucker.

new app update? ah, I see, new update. alrighty, maybe that'll fix it. aaaaaaand... updated! OKAY, open up--

...maybe it missed the memo? *repeats the process of turning on/off snooze*

MOTHERFUCKER.

genuine bug? covert operation of pretending it's a bug to make everyone "try it out"? who knows!

anyway congrats whoever in the Tumblr infrastructure decided that lengthening the snooze button was better than simply turning it off. you broke it worse

[binders-and-beanies]

Why do people like. Make me feel weird about being attracted to people my own age. Like I’m 24 and I’ll say that someone who’s like 22-26 is cute (anyone younger than like 21 is probs a no for me) and people will be like um they look like a fucking child you freak. Like sorry not everyone I’m attracted to looks like someone’s parent? Sorry I wanna feel worthy of people in my age group being into me too? I’m in college and want the life experience of having partners who are also in college? But then when I have partners who are 30+ people tell me I’m a victim. Why is everyone so ready to make trans and disabled ppl feel creepy for not just being fuckin ace I don’t get it WHO am I supposed to like

[starlooove]

So ur telling me white ppl started buying up our hair oil just to keep it in for 2 hours, wash it out, and call it a treatment? Every time they use it?