#IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOURE IN THE WRONG IM ALL TO BLAME

[fairyofshampgyu]

LITERALLY WHENEVER I SEE THIS PHOTO OF BEOMGYU I BECOME SO DEVASTATED AND MY HEART GIVES OUT GYUUUU if he ever looked at ME like that I’d literally instantly drop and fall to my knees. I WOULD GO TO WAR FOR HIM like absolutely whatever you say pretty OMFG ‼️<33

[fictioonbanger]

reader in denial a bit with bestie eren!

eren x black reader

sub eren hinted a bit, alcohol usage, rough sex, facd fucking, smut, profanity.

thinking about how you and eren fuck almost every night, and i mean every night when eren finally realizes you need him as much as he needs you. but you both dont have a title yet, now dont get eren wrong. he would love a title, he wants to call you his, and for you to do the same. you just don’t know how to take it, your bestfriend of childhood being your boyfriend. it was always what you wanted, but how would it seem to others around you both when you denied multiple times already. no one to blame but yourself for digging it deeper and now being a little werry of wanting to admit your feeling for eren.

eren doesnt let you both not having a title keep you away from each other. he loved you, that was a fact and obvious. on the other hand you might say no if someone were to ask if you and eren were dating. eren on the other hand tells the full honest truth.

“nah we not together, but she still mine as i am of hers.” eren spoke sipping his cup of alcohol at the bar him and his friends were at

“so she has you under a leash?” jean chuckled taking his last of alcohol fully and tilting his head back.

eren mean mugged him and spoke up glaring at his snarky comment. “no, she doesnt.. and if she did it wouldnt be too bad.” eren shrugged and his friends laughed he rolled his eyes and looked away. day dreaming about you and how he’d kill to be with you right now.

and thats exactly what he did, except of the killing part. he grabbed his keys off the stand and began getting off the stool. “where ya goin?” armin tilted his head to look at eren from over jean. “hes gonna see his little owner.” jean chuckled to himself at his own joke causing both them to roll their eyes. “its better than being with shitface over here.” eren stood and started to walk towards the door, jean scoffed rolling his eyes and ordering another drink.

you were in your room of your pretty decorated apartment, pink picture frames, gray marbled counters, stuffed animals on your couch and little lights everywhere was how you’d describe your apartment. eren, would say different “ ‘ts too pink, make my eyes hurt baby.” hed mock you and cover his eyes as you rolled yours, the “baby” word going completely over your head. it wasnt out of the blue for eren to call you petnames, i mean you’ve asked him before and all his response is. “what? you dont like them pretty?” of course you’re gonna say you do, thats how you felt and honestly hoped he didnt stop.

you were watching a movie on your laptop snacking on whatever was in the kitchen, getting distracted by a message at 11:12pm. you really knew who it was though, eren comes at this time. not everyday of course but only when hes been out or busy.

eren <3; im at the door ma

you; mhm here i come.

rolling out of bed and straddling through your living room and towards the front door you began unlocking it. finishing then opening the door to see erens slim figure in the doorway. he had already a cracked smile on his face, he couldnt wait to see you. its been awhile and it was his fault, he knew hed have to make up for it. he thought you’d greet him with a hug and a peck on the cheek, the usual. instead you stared at him for a bit before turning around and letting him. not saying a word eren sighed and closed the door locking it then began to walk behind you. he slid his hands on each side of ur waist and put his head on your shoulder from behind. “cmon y/n, im sorry you havent seen me in awhile..i havent been ghosting you honest.” he spoke softly in your ear, he sounded so sincere and pretty upset he hadnt seen you either. “been real busy..you know id rather be here.” he said as you stood in place as he rocked you both softly side to side as he held onto you.

“doesnt matter to me..not like we’re together right?” you looked away to the side, you knew your words were bad. and that they wouldnt effect eren, he listens to all your fits and upsets. doesnt bother him a bit, only about the situation that made you feel that way in the first place. other than that he knows how to get you out that state. “dont be so mean y/n.. you hurtin my feelings.” he said sarcastically removing away from you and fake grabbing his heart. “im serious eren-“ “how about we change that then?” you were shocked at his words, eyes widening and you quickly turning to look at him. “what?” you spoke softly eyes glistening a bit and gazed upon erens face. “can we please change it..” eren spoke up then got onto his knees infront of you, holding onto your legs with both hands. he put his face by your stomach and inhaled your scent he loved so much. “i really want you y/n.. want you to be mine.” he mumbled looking up at you. you were hot in the face, feeling your blood rise up to your cheeks. “i-i want you too ren..” you spoke softer, gazing down at how he held onto you.

and this just made eren so much bolder, your emotion changing quickly at how swift he moved to leaning over you. he held your waist again and peered into your orbs with his green ones, a snarky smile on his face. “you do?” he questioned tilting his head down at you reaching close to your face. your lips barely touching as you breathed in each others air. “badly.” you breathed out, thats all eren needed to hear before sweeping you off your feet. carrying you with both hands on your ass supporting your legs wrapped around him. walking you both towards your opened bedroom noses touching as eren goes in for a kiss. you took in his tongue and slipped past your own, moaning into it and squeezing around eren. he chuckled and laid you onto the bed, he was leaning over your body. humping his hard crotch into your clothed cunt in missionary. he groaned staring at just how your face looks when he makes you feel good.

eren didnt hold back the whole night, putting you in positions you didnt know you were capable of. he fucked you into a babbling mess under him. “ ‘s too much!! cant take i-it ren!” you squealed out as he pushed deeper hitting the spot he hit earlier making you yet orgasm again. your eyed rolled in the back of your head as you released onto him, cum dripping down and sliding his shaft wetting his balls. eren saw this and looked up to were your mouth was open. he smirked and quickly grabbed a fist full of your braids making you do a soft yelp that moved into a low moan. “how bout you clean your mess up hm?” with a handful he moved you up and towards his leaking dick with his precum standing pearly off the tip and your cum that covered it. you willingly took him fully into your mouth without another word, you let him into your throat and placed soft kisses on his tip. feeling your throat once eren couldnt get enough and forced your head onto him more, now guiding you. you loved when eren was like this, when he was in control. he liked when youd do it to, but pleasuring you more was his ideal choice. you licked him up and jerked him off while doing it making erens toes curl. he tried to move away at a point but was stopped by a hard hand on his thigh that kept him down. “m-m gonna fuckin cum..” he seethed out through his teeth as his hips started to move on his own fucking your face as you kinda took control. he was eager to nut and his hips had a mind of their own chasing his high. you took him fully one last time in your throat as erens hips buckled. he grabbed ahold of your head pushing it down one last time as he came into your mouth. moaning a loud mess and breathing ever so heavily, he caressed your cheek hand leaving your head, wiping away the tears that poured while he face fucked you.

“this means you’re mine now yeah?” eren thumb was still wiping under your eye, tilting his head he slowly moved it to your plumped lips parting them and making way for his thumb. you took it into your mouth and gave it a soft suck as you kissed it after

“mm yeah.” was your response, and it couldnt have made eren happier hearing this. causing you both to go into your 7th round? counting yes.

[whole-circus]

Hello!! May I please ask for something along the lines of… Like, several creepypasta characters (like EJ, Toby, etc-) with a gender neutral s/o who usually covers their body head to toe, like, not even leaving a piece of their skin out in the open, maybe mostly due to some deep seeded insecurities,, or they got some bodily deformities,,, or both— But they let their creep see them without all the clothing after maybe like a month or two of being in a relationship???

(You don’t have to do this one of course, I just really like your writing, I also hope you have a nice day/night!!!)

Creepypastas x gn.reader that covers their body!

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, "Ticci" Toby, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned, Laughing Jack

Hi hello love! Sorry you waited a lot! :(

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

Oh? S/O? Is that really you? Jeff is pretty suprised - but he doesnt complain! Im pretty sure he would try to get you uncover yourself earlier because he is stupid and a meanie. But when you done that yourself? He is relieved, he would be scared that you are maybe afraid of him? Maybe he did something wrong..? Like lets be real, he is a serial killer, he wouldnt blame you. Ofc he would never say that out loud. But when he sees your body, he doesn't feel any diffrent about you - no matter what you were hiding. If you were insecure then he would be way nicer to you, showering you in kisses..maybe even more close activities..because he loves you for you.

☆ Homicidal Liu

Doesn't mind that you cover your body a lot, and doesn't really mind when you showed him - dont get me wrong, he loves that you feel comfortable and trust him that much, but he never wanted to push you. Also! Even if he finds you really attractive, then he is is in relationship with your for your amazing personality. But when he sees you? Man, I mean he doesn't complain. You are still the prettiest person he has ever seen! No matter what were you hiding - if it was just some insecurities or deformation! He would place kissess all over your body and complement you even more often (is that even possible??).

☆ 'Ticci' Toby

Curious boy!! There is a high chance that he actually aksed you about it..or! He didnt even noticed, he just..dunno, were with you and didnt thought about it. Why are you always so covered head to toes? Are you a spy? Maybe a magic creature? What are you hiding silly..? If you finally show your body and explain, he will be even more in love! Like you are such a dummy, he loves you anyway - no matter if you actually were hiding something like deformation, or if you were insecure. He would kiss all your bad thoughts away! I totally see Toby saying all this lovey-dovey stuff, he would be your number one supporter!

☆ Eyeless Jack

He noticed the way you always dress in a lot of clothes, no matter the weather..or how you try not too look into mirror whenever you pass them. Jack sense that something is wrong, and that you hiding something. He propably thought that its all becasue of him - are you scared? Disgusted? Maybe you didn't feel safe with him? The situation were killing you both, so he was so relieved when you told him the reason! Jack is a grown ass men, and no matter what were you hiding, he doesnt care. Like come on, he is literally a demon, there is no way you could scare him away! He would be even more clingy to you, caring about your well being and always put you first.

☆ Ben Drowned

Ben can be a huge tease about how you dress, he would make a lot of this sex related jokes, so it wasnt easy to you. No worries, he loves you a lot, you are his bestfriend and partner..but he was wondering what is wrong. At first he thought that its just your style (he doesn't judge, he is a ghost himself!!), but you were always covering your body so he got more suspicious. But when he finally sees your body? When you finally tell him what was wrong? He was glad you cared so much about him, that you were so trusting. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it - like oh, you look pretty..now wanna play with him? Ben made you place already..(this place is definitely his arms tho!)

☆ Laughing Jack

Jack is really touchy, he just clings to you like koala and its hard to make him stop. So its pretty obvious that he noticed how you were a bit distant sometimes, always making excuses and stuff. He was pretty miserable because of that, you are his S\O ..he wants you to feel safe and comfortable around him.. So he start asking a lot of questions, most of them were pretty random, druing normal conversations. But he waited..and it was totally worth it - he immediately hugs you and give you a lot of kisses! He would spend hours and hours praising and worshipping you..no worries, he has all the time in the world!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Give me the GOODS

Angst

What would happen if eyeless jack didn't eat for a REAAALL long time, like he put it off and that back fired.

Bc his s/o happened to come around at the wrong time, and got attacked by him (accidentally)

If they live or die, that's up to you. But what do you think?

Aftermath of Eyeless Jack accidentally harming the reader during a frenzy

two things; idk how to title this andddddd i already wrote something like this a few months ago but i think im going to add more to it! beware linked post is very badly written because ! uhuh! anyways errrrm jack being an involuntary vessel for some funky demon shit my beloved hc anyways obvious cw for mentions of. well jack harming the reader on accident; in this post and the one linked above first post of the new year and its angst

assuming this is right after the events of the linked post, or within the days following that i think he would bar you from entering his cabin not long after he gets his... "meal"

emotions are definitely running high in this one, even if he tries not to show it. i mean you were the one he decided to bite a chunk out of, he doesnt care that he immediately spit it out. he didnt care that he scraped his tongue clean that night. in his eyes (or rather, his empty sockets) what he did was truly unforgiveable and he always feared something like this would happen

all of the reassurances you gave him now meant nothing now

honestly i think this might be grounds for him to break up with you; you did nothing wrong. hes putting all the blame on himself

torn between him having the balls to break up with you to your face or if hes going to pussy out and tell you through the door when you try to ask him to let you in

hell if it comes down to it he might even migrate to a new area if you keep trying to come to him and try to talk things out

heres the thing i talk a lot about how jack hates himself and how he was tricked into this whole botched human sacrifice thing that made him the way he is now. but i dont talk much about just how much he hates himself and how much of a toll that takes on his mental health

i mean think about it, overtime his humanity is literally slipping from him and theres nothing he can do. his 'blood frenzies' as i like to call him are eventually going to get worse and more frequent. not to mention hes going to keep losing more of his human features as time goes on. can you imagine what that does to someone? one day hes going to forget who you are and its going to end in disaster; assuming youre still alive and well when that happens... be it because he simply outlives you thanks to his new pseudo-immortality or worse

im kind of getting off topic but the point is hes going to sit in those thoughts and feelings for a LONG time, really for as long as hes still capable to form a coherent thoughts that isnt about his next meal

like the last post had at least a little bit of hope that maybe you guys will be able to move forward, but the more that i think about it i dont think you guys can bounce back from it. at least jack cant. doesnt matter how much you try to tell him its okay, or how many times you reassure him. if you dont scar its not going to help at all

but if the wound does scar? oh boy thats just going to make him sink deeper into his thoughts, probably making him lean more of cutting himself out of your life

no happy endings for you guys the moment this man slips up around you

[thelargefrye]

HEART PHILOSOPHY … part two

PREV | M.LIST | NEXT

pairing : yunho x san (background poly ateez x f!reader)

genre : idol au, break up au, hurt / comfort, fluff, eventual happy ending

word count : 622

warnings : language, crying, mentions of the yunho & yn breakup, yunho and san take a bath together, mxm

san and yunho have a heart to heart talk one night, as san tries to get yunho to open up about the breakup.

“do you want to talk about the breakup?”

“there’s nothing to talk about san,” yunho says with a huff as him and san sink into the tub together.

san fits nicely between yunho’s legs as he rests his back against the older male’s chest. its been awhile since san and yunho have done this together and san wants to bask in the warmth and peacefulness for as long as he can.

“i think there is quite a bit to talk about, yuyu,” san says as he draws useless patterns on yunho’s knee. he knows yunho doesn’t want to talk about your breakup, but he knows that it’s something that needs to be done.

“i know you still love y/n,” he starts as he takes yunho’s hand into his. “the love you two have is something that just doesn’t go away as easily as you think,” he adds as he feels yunho give his hand a light squeeze.

“it doesn’t matter if you think our love is strong or whatever. what me and y/n had is over, done, gone. we broke up and you and the others will just have to accept it,” yunho says as he clenches his free hand into a fist.

“y/n still loves you and i know damn well you still feel the same. we still have time for you for talk to her and work it all out, please don’t give up on her. on yourself,” san pleads turning around to look at his boyfriend.

yunho refuses to look san in the eyes, knowing that if he did, he would probably break down and cry. he already feels the tears starting to form and it breaks san’s heart to see his boyfriend this way.

“what i said can’t be taken back,” he says, voice cracking as he leans his back and away from san’s gaze. “i blamed her for causing issues between us when hongjoong was with that bitch and then i brought up the accident. god, what the fuck is wrong with me. if i love her, why did say all that stuff to her?” he questions as he finally lets the tears fall.

san coos at yunho as he reaches over to wipe his tears away. “my precious yuyu, don’t cry, i know your heart hurts but don’t cry. it’s not too late to talk to y/n, just talk to her and tell her how you feel,” he says before he leans over to kiss yunho.

san can still feel yunho's tears wetting both their cheeks and he can't help but feel his heart clench at how distraught his boyfriend is. when san pulls away from the kiss, he rest his forehead against yunho's before he's once again whipping the tears away again.

"i want to make it better," yunho whispers as his arms wrap around san's waist, as if holding on to him will help ground himself. "i love her. i love her, i really do. i love you and the others and i hate what i did... what i said."

"talk to her," san says before pressing a kiss to yunho's nose, "me and the others will help you."

"what if... what if she doesn't want to talk or what if she doesnt-

"hey, hey, hey yuyu, don't talk like that! she does, i promise! everything will be okay, we just have to give her time. she's still hurting. you both need some time okay?"

"okay," yunho sighs as he leans away from san's touch, his head resting against the tiled wall behind him. san can't help smile at his boyfriend before he's also letting out a sigh.

"come on, lets wash up before the water gets cold."

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network : @cultofdionysusnet @kdiarynet

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

crumb, what’s your opinion on Mia Winters, ethan’s wife

OKAY… PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME HATRED FOR THIS….

BUT SHE IS A BIT BAD…

I AM SORRY…

i lauve her, i lauve every character (except lucas) they r all my beloveds

BUT, that doesnt mean i think they r all perfect characters that have never done wrong

i know there a lot of argument about mia being a good wife or not and please do not take this the wrong way

she defiently loved ethan, A LOT too, she loved and cared about her family a lot

her problem is the job she decided to have in the first place

she decided to work for a criminal organization, it doesnt matter what part she played the important thing is she is literally willingly participating in working for the connections whether it be research or “handling” evie

she also lies to ethan, like alot

its pretty sad but we know she doesnt do it with malicious intent

shes doing it because she loved him and wanted to keep him safe but no matter what her intentions were it still got him killed

she also does not learn from it and CONTINUES to lie to ethan after re7 which leads to him dying two more times

mia obviously cares about ethan, and id never say she didnt love him but she defiently did treat things very poorly

u COULD blame ethan for going to search for his wife in the first place but like what kind of argument is that

ethan is a good husband who loved his wife so much he kept searching for her even after 3 whole years of no leads

the only thing ethan did wrong in their relationship was trust mia and he should have been able to do that without consequences in the first place

mia does not want to talk about what is happening to ethan. she keeps him in the dark and “blows up at him” when he even mentions it

im 100% without a doubt sure that they love each other so much and probably had a wonderful relationship pre re7, but after everything that happens and with the continued lack of communication, i feel like mia was just not that great

not to say that she was a horrible woman who did nothing but cause problems for ethan because he obviously still has wonderful memories with her after re7

but in the end, my opinion is that mia isnt some damsel in distress that was only a victim

she lived through the consequences of her own actions, she decided to work with the connections, she decided to contribute to the creation and abuse of eveline

re7 and re8 mainly stem from what mia has done and leaves ethan behind trying to fix it and it literally kills him in the process

im really sad we couldnt learn more about her and the chance of us learning anything in the future is really slim so its disappointing

thats my take on mia! i hope this does not upset anyone (i am very sorry if it does)

i love to make art of them being lovey dovey but i can only ever imagine it taking place before re7, im sorry!

[specialstay]

[05:35am]

very angsty with some self-doubt, him being very distant

This feeling in your chest again. Burning with pain and somewhat with love. Love hidden underneath a layer of disgust, pain and confusion.

Disgusted at yourself for still plaing his game, listening to his cards and words who seemingly have no intentions in making you feel loved nor wanted at this moment.

Pain because a part of you still sees him as your loving boyfriend who once would never hurt you in any kind of way, who would hold the door for you in pouring rain and would always make sure that you know how much he loves and appreciates you.

Confusion for his actions and words he has said to your face, ignoring how much he hurts you and ignoring the tears that make your face shimmer in the moonlight.

You didnt know how to react in situations like these. A part of you knows that hes not really feeling this way when he says that you dont matter to him right now, when he says that he wants to be alone right now and when he says that he doesnt care about anyhthing right now.

Right now...

Those two words that you hated at this point in your relationship.

Because yes, right now you dont want the leftover chicken in the fridge but throwing it away would be stupid because you were already planning on eating it for luch, but not right now.

Has he no sense for the future?

"Im getting sick of this" you finally say after hours of silence in your shared apartment.

"Aha" was the only response you got and he didnt even look up from his phone, nothing new when he was mad.

"I did nothing to deserve this. I did nothing wrong and I'm very much able to look objectively on a situation and acknowledge a mistake of mine" you said a little louder but you never screamed. Anger wont help your situation and would only make it worse.

To no surprise you didnt get an answer which only made you angrier. But who can blame you?

"I only told you "good morning, " but apparently, that was enough to make you mad again, and im really running out of options and patience here! Tell me, what was it this time? Was my morning breath so bad? Was there not enough toilet paper in the bathroom today?" You couldn't help the sarcastic comment, but at least you never shouted at him.

His eyes showed pure annoyance, and he doesn't even have to look you in the eyes for you to see that. You were considered a lucky start if he looked you in the eyes when he was mad.

"I dont wanna talk" was a surprisingly long answer for his circumstances but not long enough for you to be satisfied. Angry you stood up from the couch were the both of you were just sitting on and went to the kitchen.

Maybe going to your moms house for a few days was a good option for now.

"You never wanna talk, it's eating me alive! I did nothing but the best for you the past few weeks, i was always silent when you were angry because of some bullshit and I'm always hoping for you to be you again! Im hoping that the old you comes back, the one i fell in love with" you said loud enough for him to hear in the living room, you knew exactly that he never looked up once since you left the room.

"The old me is gone! The "one you fell in love with" is fucking gone and he wont come back" he finally answered while you grab your keys and coat. "No he is not! He is just hidden beneath all that self hate of yours and has trouble coming back, trouble i cant help with!" You finally shout now and unlock the front door, your heart screaming to go back inside, hug and kiss him until you both find a solution and finally fall alseep in his arms like you used to.

But your brain is telling you to go outside that door, leave him here and potentially risk your relationship and leave all the good memories you both have behind, just like leaving him behind on that couch.

Would he even care?

Would he even care now that youre about to leave this appointment?

Care about you and your feelings?

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[reallifemarvbruh]

NEW INTRO !!

hello and welcome.

this is my official new intro because the other one was waayy outdated.

people call me by a couple different things, those things being Zebruh, Travis, and Gamzee.

my pronouns are he/they and im a t4t trans dude.

THIS ACCOUNT IS AGELESS

if you have a problem with that then please see your way out. i post mainly dead dove content and nsfw concepts.

if youve made it this far then we can get into the good shit.

i am a fanfic writer and role player, specifically into dead dove and angsty porn although i do like fluff and normal shit.

i have been writing and role playing since i can remember and am pretty good at it.

im always open to role play or make new friends.

toxic yaoi<3

FANDOM

i am always online and am into fandom related spaces.

i enjoy

homestuck

hiveswap

sally face

warrior cats

boyfriend to death

your boyfriend

and many more.

this account is mostly homestuck and hiveswap with some other stuff mixed in.

i have been into fandoms ever since i can remember and it is literally what my life revolves around i love fandoms so much omg…

they give me life and help me through everything

I AM A ZEBRUH APOLOGIST

i love zebruh more then anything he totally didnt do anything wrong at all he deserves all the love and respect in the world no matter what. for sure.

i am a HUGE marvbruh shipper if you couldnt tell already, i will defend them until the day that i die.

if you dont like that then why are you here?

they are literally my babies and they are in love i dont want to hear a WORD about it.

marvus hypes up his loser boyfriend alright deal with it.

i am on a sinking ship and i am the captain.

WHAT ABOUT >>ME<<?

i am a freak beyond understanding. i am something otherworldly.

im a scenemo kid, i have black hair with side bangs and purple/blue raccoon tails.

i love music of all different kinds, mostly music thats about darker topics such as stalking, suicide, necro, cannibalism, age gaps, etc.

im also a rollercoaster enthusiast.

i have two cats that probably hate me but pretend to love me.

i have an awesome group of friends and THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD.

pray for him he puts up with my shit.

his blog is @dirtymaidpanties go give him love.

we’ve been together for four years and hes probably so tired of me posting and promoting him LOL i dont blame him im crazy.

i have a discord but youll have to beg on your hands and knees for it.

im a huge history and music nerd. i can talk about it for hours.

i have a myriad of mental health disorders.

i am hypersexual and have a porn addiction.

i love all fucked up characters.

bro, gamzee, cronus, it doesnt matter i love them all equally.

im also a furry.

and i cosplay.

!!!I HAVE NO DNI!!!

you can interact if youre anti, proship, or whatever else. our lives are too short to judge solely based off of one thing alone. if i dont like you ill just block you its that easy. plus dnis are dumb.

if you wanna yell at me for that i dont really care.

you guys are so judgmental its fucking crazy holy shit.

if you wanna make fun of me and be a bitch i wont block you though. that shit makes me horny i have a kink for that.

anyways bye kitties remember to support your local marvbruh fan.

pictures ehehee

i am literally zebruh guys i can confirm that marvus loves me very very very much hes my boyfriend

(he just doesnt know it yet)

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰crossteaming pt.2 !꒱

genshin characters as your streamer bf/gf !

character x gn!reader

includes kazuha, venti, itto, thoma, and shenhe!

warnings : none.

a/n : thank you for all the notes on the 1st part , much appreciated <3

KAZUHA - THE GEOGUESSER PRO

of course the wanted criminal knows all about geography. (and poetry of course too, but well get to that later)

doesnt matter where in the world he is plopped down in, kazuha knows exactly where he is, and hes quick about it too.

competes in geoguessr tournaments too and often wins with ease.

hes the type to do google maps speedruns as well, and none of his friends are nearly as good as he is.

if youre ever lost somewhere, just send kazuha a pick of your surroundings on twitter, and hes sure to find your cross streets soon enough!

“you said how i got your address…? dont even worry about that bro.”

youre literally just there to distract kazuha, if im being entirely honest.

oh, hes 1 guess away from a 50 state streak ? not if you can do anything about it. especially if he had a penalty set up for getting answers wrong.

he has called you a pest multiple times, but its out of love <3 i dont genuinely think he could ever get mad at you for real, hes very calm all the time.

he also likes to share poetry! on the days you (lovingly) annoy him he likes to write funky lil haikus about how annoying you are <3 isnt that sweet?

what can i say, hes a funny little jokester, at least on camera. when its just the two of you alone hes a lot more romantic, i promise.

“shall i compare thee to a summers day? no, a summers day is not a bitch.”

VENTI - THE GENSHIN STREAMER

pretend for a second that hes not a character in the game, or even better yet, he voice acts one of the characters. venti never shuts up about how good his team comp is and how he always manages to get the characters he wants. (secretly hes just spending a LOT of money.)

character build reviews but hes actually pretty nice about it! sometimes there will be a build that he cannot physically say anything good about and its entertaining, so chat started sending in builds that were purposely bad just to get reactions out of him LMAO.

adventure rank 60, no doubt about it.

the most annoying co-op player. oh you wanted to be that character? too bad, now hes going to play them and hes got a better build too, guess you should switch <3

SOOO many unfinished quests yet he complains he has nothing to do. (guilty)

“go touch grass? im a genshin player… what is that supposed to mean?”

venti loves telling the story of how you two met in genshin co-op. you on the other hand.. well you wish he would stop talking about it every stream you appear in.

lots of streams together! he wont wish for a character without you, he claims youre his good luck charm. (he loses most of the 50/50s.)

will help you do any quest! as long as he wants to, and its one that he knows how to do. so maybe not ANY quest, but hes trying his best.

he may be annoying with strangers in co-op domains, but any character you want to play you can. no questions asked, hell switch immediately.

he does more damage than you but hell still say that you did all the hard work and hes proud of you <3

ITTO - THE FORTNITE STREAMER

“wow you did so much damage just now, you absolutely carried me! thank you, i love you. :)”

the best part about itto being a fortnite streamer is hes not even good at the game.

he tries his best, really he does. but somehow those cracked 12 year olds have got him beat.

has spent an embarrassing amount of money on the game, but you can tell how much he appreciates every item hes acquired.

plugs his creator code CONSTANTLY. hes gotta make that money hes spent back somehow!

whenever he has a really bad loss he just blames it on stream sniping because he can. yeah i basically turned him into ninja, whoops!

“oh my god bro again? you know what, reported for stream sniping!”

you and itto are truly a dynamic duo. youre actually decent at the game and hes entertaining to watch.

chat loves when you play duos games together, and you both do too! (even though hell take all the credit if you win.)

his favorite item is the chug cannon, mostly because he wants to make sure youre full health and shield at all times <3

has made many sacrifices of his characters life in you honor, even if you still dont end up winning, you appreciate it.

lots of moments from his streams have been clipped and put into funny moments montages and they all go straight to his neverending ego.

“we are the clowns and you all have front row seats to the circus.”

THOMA - THE VARIETY STREAMER

i couldnt see thoma sticking to one main category, i feel like every stream hes doing something new, and hes somehow pretty good at anything he tries out.

his commentary is really what gets people to stick around for his content, he can make anything sound interesting.

think of him as a steamer like rtgame! hes got really fun sims and hitman series, games you dont think could be made funny, but then he does and its overall a really great time.

hes got so many inside jokes from all the games hes played, youve got to be there for every stream otherwise you miss out heavily.

nobody even knew what he looked like for awhile because he didnt have a facecam, but once he started using one his viewers went up by 100k, no joke.

“where is that from? oh, its an inside joke, you probably wouldnt get it.”

thomas viewers are literally so jealous of you. youve pulled the ultimate man right there.

honestly i dont see you appearing on his steams much other than for the occasional mario party game.

i feel like since you never really appear most of his viewers didnt even know you two were dating until those random streams happen. everytime it does twitter goes wild with “THOMA HAS A S/O?” and half the replies are also freaking out while the other half is like “you didnt know?” its a mess every time.

most likely youre in thomas chat instead of in the room, and you tend to instigate chat into spamming emotes a lot and getting it turned to sub only mode. its honestly pretty funny.

one time you walked into his room to ask if he wanted mcdonalds and he was watching paint dry. this had been going on for 4 hours. you didnt ask questions.

“the hoes gonna love this.”

SHENHE - THE CALL OF DUTY PLAYER

i think call of duty lobbies are the only place on earth that can handle shenhe if shes genuinely angry.

shes a toxic gamer for sure, dont get on her bad side.

shes gotten pretty good at the game too, shes one of those people who buys the new game everytime one comes out instead of just playing the same version.

chongyun will make appearances at times, they played mario party together once and it was hilarious. (for the viewers at least, maybe not chongyun though LMAO)

chongyun won and she 1v1ed him in nuketown right afterwards. (hes never won against shenhe again)

“everybody gangsta til chongyun is in the lead.”

chat doesnt understand how you can handle shenhe half the times, but truthfully she just has her own way of expressing her emotions.

for example, she broke one of your controllers playing once, and she drove her ass to best buy at almost midnight to go get you a new one, along with a note saying nothing but “sorry :(“ in the prettiest handwriting youve ever seen.

sometimes you even make her angry on purpose just because its funny, and you know no matter how much it may look like it, she could never get mad at you.

i know i said shenhe was a cod streamer, but imagine also playing apex with her alright? definitely a loba main, and shes literally just as toxic on here as she is on call of duty. 

probably has had 3 xbox accounts banned already.

“no chat i am not saying slurs in general chat, this time at least.”

[alinktoana]

new yakuza game, new reasons to be upset at rgg ✨

im not even gonna consider kiwami 1 or 2 bc i havent played them and i dont think they should matter to the point i want to make

but youre telling that guy

and this guy

are the same person?

did that coma erase kiryu's memories of majima or is this yokoyama talking out of his ass bc he doesnt see why majima should even exist?

at this point im blaming everything thats upsetting to me about yakuza on yokoyama lmao the guy has given us many great things but the direction rgg is going with kiryu is so weird. specially given theyre bringing him back basically for marketing purposes, it amazes me how *he* doesnt understand how majima is a marketing darling.

dont get me wrong, i dont mind majima not being on Y8. i *wish* kiryu wasnt there, bc it's time for ichiban&gang to shine. i love the idea of gaiden, ishin and other spin offs, so we can go on playing with kiryu in other bits of his story, and other characters, but *ive said it once and ill say it again, the torch has been passed on, kiryu has been saying goodbye on as many games as he's been in*. even though yokoyama has been there from the beginning, and rgg really didnt give us much interaction, Y3 gave us so much emotion and told us about their bond rather than showed (i mean, for the most part - again, i wouldve loved to have seem more, and im guessing that's what the kiwamis are for). and now you're telling me Y6 kiryu doesnt understand him. wow. date talks about understanding kiryu bc theyve known each other for ages. and kiryu doesnt *get* majima. sure. one of the things that really stuck to me playing ps2 Y1 is that kiryu and majima really are batman and joker, and it's baffling good how they actually got mark hamill to voice majima. and im not here for batman at all, but it's the trope. it's hamilton and burr, it's edward teach and izzy hands (lol), heck, it's jesus and judas (not all my musical theater references showing lol hey taika 😉) . it's not about villany or anything, it's about them being equal power houses on their town, it's about ying and yang, it's even reminiscent of nishiki and kiryu. and i got that just by playing the games. so if the person writing them doesnt see it, that's concernin lol whats good? lmao whats even real? the gaslighting yokoyama lmao

sometimes i forget why i say Y3 is my favorite but that kind of thing reminds me why.

also bless ugaki, a character he's played for years being dissed by his own creator to his face and he's smiling. never change ugaki, never change. (btw credit to the awesome people who uploaded the game footage on yt) also bless ugaki, a character he's played for years being dissed by his own creator to his face and he's smiling. never change ugaki, never change. (btw credit to the awesome people who uploaded the game footage on yt) edit: yeah i didnt bother looking at credits but apparently yokoyama was pretty hands off on Y6, im just being blindly biased :v i should stop lmao *but my concerns about rgg's direction with kiryu remain, regardless who is actually penned anything*

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

It was claudia's choice to stay and make the new house rules though?? she could've said no and simply left before louis let lestat back in the house but she didn't want to go without him. but i think once she agreed on the terms, whats so unreasonable about louis expecting she would also try to make the family work.. but she's acting that way because she knows things louis doesn't yet know in that scene. he thinks everyone's making an effort except her so he's scolding her for disturbing what he believes is their hard earned peace (which we later find out actually all that was a lie).

i mean yeah, but shes also 14. and black. and a girl. she can leave and go where? and how long will she survive on her own? she can’t leave anymore than louis? why am i to be understanding about louis staying and not understanding about her staying?

i felt that from a place of having seen the impact of bringing an abuser back in the home from her perspective. of a parent that denies the abuse a child is facing and berates them for how they respond and the symptoms of trauma that brings up in them. of having someone talk to you like they arent connecting the dots or at least making room to say it makes sense why youre acting this way. but this isnt helping. this goes into him not being able to really guid her through this. and i get why. i just feel her frustration. bc i have seen it. i have heard it. i have felt it. why would i reduce her behavior and anger to her plotting and not see the full breath of the betrayal and anger? shes not just acting that way because louis doesn’t know. shes acting that way bc she has a perspective that doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things that rule didn’t stand a chance. lestat does not abide by rules.

she didnt believe lestat bc lestat as been saying he’s gonna be done w Antoinette since before she was even in the picture. im not blaming louis for believing him. but lestat manipulated his way in. claudia isnt gonna just go along with that. bc she can see that. people have joked about how louis would have taken him back sooner if claudia wasnt even there. and it angers her that louis believed him. and i understand why he believed him. im asking. why doesnt claudia get gentleness too.

why doesnt louis say hey please stop with that for all the reasons that was brought up. why call her ugly?? why do that?? he made a 14 year old vampire immortal and locked into her 14 year old sensibilities why expect something else? hes tired and going through his own mental illness and trauma symptoms and he believes her to be the only one not trying. but in his reasons for how lestat is trying is he cut it off with the singer. well thats a reason centered around loustat. and for claudia piano lessons etc. but how is he taking care to amend the break he caused in their relationship? is she really the only one not trying??

thats what im saying. i know why he’s behaving that way. and im angry about how that impacts claudia. and im angry about how he’s impacted by the abuse. but he chose to show her that anger and irritation and that rubs me the wrong way. i have had kids crying to me about how they feel they nahave neither parent. bc it could have been “i know you only giving him what he gives you but thats not you.” instead it was “your ugly” bc its the trauma show.

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

ok so...we all saw the flurry of Bandom Racism discussion happening. and i have...thoughts.

i know this is late, in theory because i wanted to get my thoughts together, but honestly mainly because i didnt know what to say, so part of me was annoyed that i felt obligated to say anything at all. bc im not nearly as active in bandom as my blog probably makes it look, i didnt learn 90% of the Lore until september and all of that i learned from mcrblr. im new! i dont know about any of this! much less about the racism. so...why am i expected to talk about it? what is there for me to say?

...and over the past few days, its slowly sunk in for me that thats exactly the point.

of COURSE i dont see the racism in the fandom, or know what to say about it. because either none of the other white liberal fans in my circle do, or we just... dont talk about it. and i think when we do know, we dont talk about it, because we feel like its not our place. we dont know what to say, and especially if we feel like we had any hand in it, we're... embarassed? i know i am. and like...i hesitate to list examples, because i dont want to come across as self flagellating. one, because its got to be annoying for people of color, and two, because...i dunno. i dont want to make other white people think thats whats required, to be anti racist? because i think thats one of the assumptions we're laboring under, like...we've created this environment of really aggressive Discourse, so when it comes to racism, and unpacking our own...we talk in really vague terms, we never get past the "UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!!" PSAs because naming our own transgressions means admitting to wrongdoing, which is embarassing at the best of times, but in the very spaces we've created, generally being found out as Doing Something Wrong means getting jumped on by other white people for the purpose of their own moral preening so no one will suspect them of the same. so...why willingly subject yourself to that? especially if whatever you have to say, whatever it is in your behaviour you want to discuss, may be triggering to people of color. simply not mentioning it feels like the better - and safer - option.

but...thats what leads to us not knowing enough about all this to feel confident talking about it in the first place.

i dunno. last week, im one of the people who looked right at that piece of art with franks rising sun tattoo, and went... "huh. hey, theres that tattoo he got covered up because it was offensive. i should look into that. ...anyway, cool art!" and hit reblog.

and like...once people started talking about it, (theres one specific post, forget who its by, someone talking about mcrs history with anti asian racism, great post thank you for making it) i felt...bad? but i also felt kinda defensive. in thinking back on it, i was like..."well, im glad to know that now. but dude im not familiar with his tattoos. i kind of assumed what i was looking at was the covered up version where its sort of peeking through. idk it was a watercolor it was kinda garbled. i wont blame myself for not thinking any harder than that."

and then i was like... okay but. if im honest with myself, thats still bad. because it doesnt matter, since i probably wouldve reblogged it anyway, just assuming it was for the sake of photo accuracy or what have you...because i still didnt fucking know or care what the rising sun flag was.

which was the whole point.

because if i HAD. if i HAD done my research when id first heard about it, months ago, i would have recognized that art for what it was and treated it with the wide berth it deserved and avoided it regardless of my knowledge of his stupid fucking tattoo. but i didnt, for a host of reasons. mainly executive dysfunction, general stress in my personal life (nunya bidness) and...if im being honest? i just didnt want to, because...i hate self teaching. i have adhd. i was homeschooled, it was really traumatic, i flunked all of highschool and had to get a GED. my reading comprehension and attention span are piss poor. so i didn't feel like looking into it. i didnt feel like giving myself a whole impromptu history lesson. i opened one wiki page and instantly got overwhelmed.

but thats also the point. because all those reasons for not doing my due diligence and reading up on why asian fans are so pressed about the rising sun tattoo? or why black fans want nothing to do with 21p? the same shit probably applies to them! they don't feel like doing it either, we just give them no choice until eventually they make giant ass posts, comprehensive, easy to digest, step by step posts, for the express purpose of doing what we all refuse to do.

and, again, theres that feeling of guilt. guilt and shame, because im admitting to this, and because i know how reading this is gonna make other white fans feel, because i just went through the exact same set of feelings, and its uncomfortable as hell. so i can only imagine how fans of color have felt.

im not making this to browbeat white fans, or to self flagellate to fans of color. this isnt a soap box or a confession booth. im just.. talking. so lets talk. im gonna be honest, i still havent done real research into the rising sun flag. im literally just now looking at the wikipedia page for imperial japan, which i just now opened, and i still feel just as overwhelmed. (does anyone have good material on learning about this? if i find any, ill post it in reblogs.)

but...yeah. this isnt an UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!! PSA. this is uhhhh...We're All A Little Racist, Lets Talk About It So We Wont Be. an open letter, i guess. cause we're doing and saying racist shit, intentionally or unintentionally, whether we realize it or admit it or not, and i think the majority of you who have read this far are, like me, mainly doing so through inaction. and i think the more we ignore that, the worse this feeling will get. so...lets stop ignoring it. i know we all just did exactly that, i saw it happen, i was part of it, i get the reasons why. but its delaying the inevitable, and more importantly, we're hurting other people because of it. so...lets just get it over with, it cant be any more embarassing than burying our heads in the sand.

[weirdlizard26]

ok hello hi in honour of me finishing season 6 of dr who i will write out my impression of it before starting s7! that there WILL be spoilers so im putting it under the cut!

first things first, it was definitely a HUGE improvement from s5 in my opinion. like it was in general just a lot more enjoyable for me, though still not quite satisfactory. i think matt smith finally got properly into the role too which is nice.

still. this season was deeply unsatisfying. there were so many interesting threads that i feel just didnt go anywhere or didnt get nearly enough development.

1) i thought the "youre my best friend" scene btwn amy and the doctor was very very sweet but i felt it just came out of nowhere? she spent the entire s5 having to "choose" between him and rory and i do appreciate their friendship but i wish they had more time to really develop that kind of relationship

2) i was honestly so happy to see 2 companions throughout this whole season! i think it makes up for a really fun dynamic :]

3) i love rory with all my heart hes such a sweetheart but i feel a little weird about his character development? it definitely makes a lot of sense seeing as how hes 2k years old at this point but it just feels to me like that was done at amy's expense? it feels like shes denied the same development time and time again and i dont like that. i will be honest i don't like her as a person and that in part is due to her behaviour in s5 (i will never fucking forgive them for that scene where she confessed to the doctor it was so dumb and so deeply unpleasant but i digress) BUT i think shes an interesting character and wasnt done justice. like!!! the way i see it, she is contrasted with all the previous companions by the fact that shes not that great of a person. which isnt a bad thing! she had such a huge potential for growth but it felt like every time she learned a lesson she forgot it the very next episode or it just felt like it just didnt matter in the grand scheme of things. which i blame on the writing, in case that wasnt clear. great potential, terrible performance

4) and now for the loose threads.

4a) madame kovarian was such an intriguing villain and the sneak peaks we got of her only hyped it up but then i feel that just went nowhere? she served cunt for one whole episode where she wasnt even the main focus and then died. and im assuming she didnt REALLY die given this is doctor who after all but her participation in this season specifically was deeply disappointing to me.

4b) in the same vein, i really wish we could see more of melody and more specifically her upbringing and training. all that teasing of "the woman who murders the doctor" only for her to try to kill him for half an episode and suddenly become "one of the good guys" as soon as he makes sad wet puppy eyes at her?

4c) in the same vein (again) all the teasing of how river and the doctor meet and fall in love and then when she meets him for the first time they dont even get to spend any time together to bond and actually develop any real feeling for each other? and then they just get married for no reason other than it was teased? "i love you more than any living being in the universe" bold statement for a girl who met him ~twice~! it was all so intriguing but it just fell flat in the end.

4d) now dont get me wrong. i fucking hated the ending scene of mid season finale. "um actually all of this horror is your fault because you did too good of a job saving people so now people who want to do fucked up shit are scared of you and want to kill you. if only you didnt save all those people so good we wouldnt be in this situation!" like do you realize how ridiculous that is. even so! that literally didnt fucking go anywhere. was it just supposed to be a one-off guilt trip that never gets addressed again and doesnt change anything other than anger me? what was the purpose of that. it was said as if it was leading up to some huge character discovery moment for the doctor but then it just. didnt. he just left to look for melody.

4e) "i didnt want you to die without making you see how much people love you" yeah and. yeah? go on? oh? we're just leaving it at that? no old friends coming together to save his ass and yell at him abt how much they care about him? other than the justice whatever that we saw in ONE episode and who didnt even get any help from the doctor lending him their robot suit? ok.

4f) all that build-up to accepting your fate and being at peace with death (which like. we've already done all that with ten and i loved that arc but whatever ok lets do it again i guess) only for him to not die was. a little disappointing? i mean dont get me wrong im glad hes ok but it just felt empty bc it didnt lead to anything. and like again i LOVED the solution to that particular puzzle! of course the doctor lies and of course he'll find a way to cheat death again thats what he DOES but its just upsetting that that whole build-up was virtually for nothing

ok thats all for now. in conclusion, s6 was much better than s5 for me but still disappointing. hoping s7 will pick up!

as always i welcome any and all comments and discussion just be niceys to me

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

abuse , victim blaming

just need to vent, thank you

i hate hate HATE it when people being kind towards abuse survivors are called babying them. i hate hate HATE it when people tell survivors to fight back and say it's our own fault if we're stuck because we're unwilling to work towards our own freedom. i HATE it when they are praised and even proud of themselves for making us face the harsh truth. YOU DONT!!! i find it very very VERYYY victim blamey to even inisuate we are somehow in the wrong for what? not trying even harder to escape? i always feel insulted each time someone tell me to try to escape and "get out of my comfort zone". like, why did you assume i never tried to fight back or escape? why did you think i even have any comfort zone at all? i hate it even more when it comes to fellow abuse survivor who escaped on their own. like, okay??? just because you could finally escape doesnt mean everyone else can do it too??? do i understand that sometimes, there are no outsiders who can magically save us? of course i do! i've known since early age that nobody will side with me! do i desperately wish to be able to escape myself since nobody from outside would be able to or willing to help me! OF COURSE!!!! I'VE TRIED FOR YEARS!!! SO WHY THE ASSUMPTION THAT BECAUSE I'M STILL STUCK THEN CLEARLY I HAVEN'T TRIED HARD ENOUGH????!!!!

gods. i understand if people who never experience abuse say that. but fellow abuse survivors??? hello???? do you seriously think escaping abusive situation is just a matter of mindset change wtf. i know staying in an abusive situation is bad!!!! i know it's highly unlikely any outside party will help me!!! i also know that escaping will bring negative consequences because i have tried and experienced it myself!!! even if i do escape i dont even know where to go!!!! i will die either way!!! like holy shit just because my exterior personality is calm and friendly doesnt mean im just tolerating bullshit while denying reality wtf

Hi anon,

I hear you. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there with backwards ideas about abuse survivors, and the rhetoric that they perpetuate is so hurtful and damaging to our recovery. It's frustrating to deal with people who are simply ignorant to how abuse actually works. By perpetuating victim-blaming in these ways, they are protecting abusers.

I think it's important to be reminded that you didn't deserve what happened, regardless of whether or not you fought back. You still deserve kindness and it's not your fault if you didn't fight back. The only person whose fault it is, is the person who caused the abuse in the first place (the abuser). Just because it may have taken you longer to leave, or because perhaps you're not out of it yet, doesn't make you weak or unworthy of love, kindness, and safety. You have been and are doing your best.

I also just want you to consider that these people, while they will unfortunately exist, they don't deserve your time, energy, and emotion. You are worth so much more than to give them space they don't deserve in your mind and heart. You know your truth, you know what really happened and how abuse really works, and they cannot take that away from you with their ignorance. It can be exhausting to challenge these kinds of people and the rhetoric they spout, especially because it hits you right in the trauma. So for your own mental health and self care, while it is important to acknowledge the effect these comments have on you, it's also important to, not let it go necessarily, but know that you're worth more than spending your energy and emotion arguing with ridiculous statements.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

theres this exchange between yaz and the doctor that ive written i think four times at this point where 13 finally... not breaks the façade bc it’s been broken but she admits to it being broken, to yaz. and yaz responds with kindness of course and the doctor says she doesnt deserve that, doesnt deserve yaz. and yaz says “it’s not about deserving”

i think thats whats it about for me. 12 regenerated bc they thought the universe needed them; “they’ll get it all wrong without me. i suppose one more lifetime wont kill anyone. except me” it’s fantastically arrogant but it’s also the root of the doctor’s problem. everything is their responsibility. so everything is their fault. they live to serve - ”i serve at the pleasure of the human race” - 13 even more than usual. and 13 also more than usual fails the human race. she has one job and she does it badly. she is alive for one reason and shes not meeting it. she doesnt deserve this.

but then yaz is there and yaz is like im not here because you deserve me to be, you twat. im my own fucking person and i’ll do what i fucking like. the universe doesnt revolve around you, no matter what anyone says. no matter who wants to blame you for the mass murders theyre doing. ive lived my whole life never knowing about daleks and shouldnt that tell you that there are entire worlds out there, lifetimes and lifetimes, with triumphs and losses and tragedies and happy endings and struggles that dont ever manage to resolve to either, that havent felt your influence at all

and the doctor would look at her and probably be thinking about how if her influence hadnt been there, yaz would have known about daleks. and if yaz could feel the constraints of the narrative, the doctor would ask how come she hasnt heard of daleks then? and yaz would say because i wasnt in the story. but yaz doesnt feel the constraints of the narrative, the boundaries of her life are the boundaries of her life, not, to her, of a story. and so the doctor, who can feel the constraints of the narrative in a subconscious way they have rarely been able to put their finger on, doesnt ask yaz how she hasnt heard of daleks before, but instead accepts what yaz says as if they both had lives instead of stories. and she smiles and says “thank you, yaz”

and it doesnt really sink in, what yaz said, because the doctor is not a person, not even a character in a story the way yaz is. what yaz says to her doesnt make sense even if we try to understand it from within their four walls, because the doctor isnt a character, theyre the story. so it doesnt stick on her, the idea that “not everything is about you” and “not everything in the universe is either your fault or your success” and “the fact that the people in your life are tied to you like characters to their story doesnt mean that everything they do is either reward or punishment for you personally” and “youre the story, not the main character, thats where you go wrong”

so it doesnt stick, but what does maybe stick is that it’s not about deserving. the good or the bad, it’s not about her