#Idk I like it a lot more than the stress of a long structured fic

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

finally got an idea for an ongoing somewhat chill fic for Celia & Co, kinds to show there baseline/ how they act when I'm not putting them through hell/ just an idea of who they are, and then I had a great idea: framing device of after Celias death, and Cecio, Elena and Rametto are going through Celias thing some time after her death, and as they go through each album/song, they tell stories of events it reminded them of/ when Celia showed them that song/ Celias own stories she told about and in relation to the music she loves.

Basically a collection of linked short flashbacks/stories, framed around music and songs that Celia found significant/loved, and then little bits of Cecio Rametto and Elena all pooling their stories about Celia to try and understand her better

[galaxythreads]

I'm obsessed with your Loki fics. Your ideas are so fucking cool!!! So unique, so well written, so creative!!! I just keep rereading them.

The Weeping Siren kills me every time.

Allow me to share with you my Loki hyperfixation's thoughts concerning his 'Adoption'

- Loki was "abandoned by his father in a temple" (source: MCU wiki) during a war. In the film, a structure is visible. In the comics, he is definitely in a fortress or temple of sorts. Clearly, he was left somewhere for protection. Temples and churches often get repurposed as emergency hospitals or shelters during conflicts, which I believe fits this theory.

- Loki was a new born at the time, as he was not even old enough to be given clothes (which his people are shown to wear in various forms).

My hypothesis: Loki's mother gave birth to him prematurely due to the stress of the battle, leaving Laufey to leave him with medics as he managed his troops. Asgardian soldiers attacked, killing the medics, and leaving Odin to find Loki. His facial markings clearly demonstrate him to be the prince. Loki is "small, for a giants offspring" because he was born prematurely. He is clearly capable of reaching full giant height, as the What If? show depicts him as a giant despite the only canonical change being "Thor was an only child", and that Loki was clearly still Asgardian baby sized as Odin could pick him up.

My question: why hasn't Loki reached his proper height and build yet?

What say ye?

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Once again, fucking love your fics so much.

<3<3<3 you're so sweet, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed the Weeping Siren. It was a fun one to write and i still remember the joy everyone felt when they realized it was going to be long-term captivity instead of like. a weekened.

"what say ye?" that's amazing. thank you. like with full sincerity 0 sarcasm, everyone needs to be treated like a 18th century lord sometimes. It's good for you.

and hmm. idk. I kinda go back and forth on Laufey thing. I personally don't consider What If to be an expansion of MCU canon, more like canon-adjacent. like comics or books released.

It's kind of weird to me that Loki did grow to a full height in What If, so if it is canon then i guess...maybe not being on jotunheim stunted his growth? They definitely have different atmospheres and that would do Weird Things to Loki biologically. maybe he didn't get enough to eat of jotunheim food? Like not eating stunts your growth. I'm not sure. It's an interesting question to consider. It's a lot easier to stick with older MCU lore where Loki was naturally a runt, and "small for a frost giant offspring" because that. just made more sense rather than trying to do gymnastics to explain this.

[whattimeisitfic]

Hey, Hey! I wanted to draw some stuff for your fic, but I had a question. Do you have more details on how Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael look? I know Gabriel has some fem-characteristics and Michael seems to be the largest of the angels. No pressure tho!

Okok, I’ve actually had someone ask me about their appearances before so I’ll just post my response to them to give you a guideline, and if you had anymore questions just let me know duckling. The format of this is: there will be a number w/ a question they asked, and below that I answer it. (The questions came from @the-stress-express if you wanna check out their WIP)

Anyway, here u are:

1. Are Micheal, Gabriel, and Raphael kind of like copy-paste versions of Lucifer? Like, do they have Lucifer’s red cheek spots? Do they all have white ass skin like Lucifer?

- I imagine they all have white skin, and that Rals has the cheek spots, but Micheal and Gabriel do not. They’re kinds copy and pasted, but with a bit of variation in body structure (Rals being more rounded, Micheal a tad bit more square). And also while I’m here, I’ll say that Raphael is a little bit taller than Luci (probably just under Charlie’s height) and that Gabriel and Micheal are the same height, and quite a bit taller than their two brothers.

2. What kind of hairstyles, textures, and hair colours do they have? I’ll probably take some creative liberty, so don’t feel too pressured for detailed explanations, but I want to hear your designs so I can make it accurate to your vision. Also, I’ve heard theories that Micheal’s hair is a lot like Lucifer’s but idk if you are having that there.

Okay, we’ll go through this character by character.

Micheal - Same blondness as Lucifer, but perhaps a little shorter. Maybe a little fluffier at the top? Idk. No real big picture ideas.

Gabriel - Long, silky, straight dark brown hair. It comes down to about his mid-back/chest area, and it’s all like flowy and elegant and pretty well maintained. Shiny probably too

Raphael - Pretty much a mix between the others. Kinda like Lucifer’s style, but curlier, and with a similar brown hue to Gabriel’s (tho a little bit lighter). Again, no real preference other than that, go wild!

3. Eye colour. I remember you stated that Micheal has gold eyes, but what about Gabriel and Raphael? I feel like you mentioned it at some point but I forgot.

I honestly can’t remember what I said either, but I’ve been picturing Raphael with green eyes, and Gabriel with something more greyish-blue hued? I think. Idk if that reflects in what I’ve written but that’s what my brain had decided they look like now.

4. Did you have specific designs for the 3 angels’ robes? Or does it matter what they look like? If it doesn’t matter to you I’ll just let creativity take over there.

Not really. Just that Micheal’s are white/gold, Gabriel’s are a pretty pale blue, and Raphy’s are a pale, rich green (with the green being more on the blue side than the yellow). I struggle w/ outfits so I usually just don’t put much thought into them.

5. I will obviously include Raphael’s beautiful hummingbird wings. So do Micheal and Gabriel have specific wing styles? And furthermore, we know Lucifer had 6 wings bc he’s a former seraphim. I forget but, in this fic, are his brothers seraphims too? I feel dumb for asking but whatever lmao.

Yeah, they def all have six wings. I imagine Micheal’s looking more eagle-like, and… idk about Gabriel. It might be cool if he had more of a “pigeon-y” shape to them as a fun little correlation to his messenger status, but idrc. Do what you think looks best

[doubledyke]

hey, i’ve read some of your writing and i really like it. do you have any tips?

aw dude that's really sweet. i'm really self conscious about everything i write so i appreciate hearing that. i'm still learning myself, so my advice is probably gonna be kind of obvious yet nebulous (much like my writing). oh and im not great at following my own advice, but we can ignore that.

first and foremost i'd say try to have fun. get weird with it. don't stress too much about it. it's supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, so write what YOU like, how you like. the "rules" of grammar and composition are helpful, but you're allowed to be a lot more lax with creative writing. i know i am 👀

in my humble opinion, you can never have too many details, even- or especially- oddly specific ones. personal experiences are a great way to inject some minutiae, and i enjoy the insight they provide into the author's perspective, background, thought process, etc.. there are infinite other tools at your disposal too. like the number of times i've found myself browsing ancient, niche forums just to confirm one insignificant bit of information is ridiculous.

don't be afraid to take your story as seriously or unseriously as you want. sometimes i'll be snapped out of focus with the thought of "am i really writing this rn" 😂 but i just try to remind myself that i'm (usually) having fun, i'm not hurting anyone and someone might even enjoy the final product.

for eene, try to listen to the voice acting as much as you watch the animation. and don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone when writing a character. i'm neither comfortable, nor very good at writing for ed, but i nutted up and gave it a shot recently and yeah it's nuclear level cringe but i suppose it can't get any worse, right? RIGHT???.... i love learning new words, so when i'm writing for edd (and in general) you know i keep that thesaurus tab open. with eddy, there's always room for more irreverence. i'm also one of those people that cannot help but drop almost every g when i write eddy. and it's just as important to get their idiolects down, which can be tricky. BUT that's mostly if your goal is to stay close to the source material, which is definitely not necessary. i'm just not a very creative person 😂

if you're in a rut, skip to another section, or hell even another chapter. the fic i'm working on rn was hatched from a simple premise several months ago, so i started at the end and have been building on that. an unconventional starting point can be really helpful when you're struggling to start at all. because i'm me, it's turned into a nightmare beast that i can't seem to contain, but i still have a general idea of where we're going and we'll get there eventually lmfao. to that point, outlines, bullet points, notes, etc. are all very useful.

take breaks, let her sit for a while. i'll write a whole bunch, leave, come back to review and be like girl what the hell is this. fresh eyes make a big difference! however, don't be like me and get too caught up in the weeds. i make compulsive little tweaks of my shit up to the point and even after i hit post. more often than not, it's more stress than it's worth. i just can't help it 🥴

and then of course, read other people's stuff. i'm not much of a fiction reader but i make exceptions for the sake of my hyper-fixation. it truly does help to see different perspectives and styles of writing. everyone has a unique voice that really comes through in creative writing, which i love. i've gleaned a lot from reading other people's work as well. i frequently come across new and creative ideas for changing up sentence structure, dialogue tags and narration by reading stuff from fellow fans.

aaaaaand yeah idk what else really. like i said, i'm not the best at writing but i think as long as you're getting your ideas across in the way that you want to, you're golden. anyone who makes shitty remarks about someone else's writing can sit and spin honestly.

[hotluncheddie]

20 Questions For Writers!

Tagged by @puppy-steve, @scoops-aboy86 and @steviewashere ty ty !!! :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

40!!!

2. What's your total AO3 word count

78,658 which is honestly insane to me - it still feels unbelievable when I write like 1000 words comfortably.

(For a long time writing was something I could do but had to do, never wanted to do or enjoyed. So, I never ever imagined it being my main hobby - I honestly get insecure that everything I write is so short, especially compared to how people seem to bang out 10,000w like it's nothing)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Steddie!!!!! so Stranger Things

And I have dabbled in Fargo for Gator Tillman :) Pillow

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tiny Green Shorts 

Seasons change, but people don't. 

Stimming

Wherever you go, thats where I am.

unmasking 

(Two old ones but the fact that both autistic Steve fic's are on there makes me SO happy!!)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yesssssssss but sometimes I really don't know what to say other than 'thank you' - which feels lame, but I love comments so I always answer

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's more of a drabble but maybe thats when boys kiss ? I wrote it with the idea of the end being hopeful, but I had a couple comments and it's very easy to read it in a more angsty way - basically if you read it with Eddie dying like canon, then it becomes pretty sad

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uh - all of them

But gonna go with Softly just because the whole thing is super soft - ooey gooey horny daddy kink my kryptonite

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah

One day I probably will however - my first cyber bully :]

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YA!! - all kinda - lots of freak kinks in this house - and a lot of love

I just think d/s is fun, you can play with so many kinks within the dynamic and its just cool and hot. And then you add established relationship on top, so like, that knowledge and love and like just being into stuff because your partner is - so good!

I explored a lot of kinks in my SubEddieWeek and definitely want to do more - need to write some sub Steve!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No but I do have notes for a Gator Tillman / Steddie fic so might write that at some point...

And have been dabbling with my lovely 🐶anon in some Gator Tillman / Kurt Kunkle ideas - as silly as that is lol - it's fun! - dunno if it'll ever turn into a fic though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Don't think so! But would not be against it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ye kinda!!! me and @scoops-aboy86 have our Office AU series :)

Oh and the Milk fic here on tumblr heheh - its a classic

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie!!!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

Ugh my "Steve has known he’s bi for years and is more knowledgeable than Eddie. Eddie is queer in a kinda vague nebulous way and it stresses him out sometimes. Bruce Springsteen born in the USA album. Coming of age, dealing with change."

I love it and I do want to write more of it but it just doesn't have the sauce yet - haven't quite figured it all out. What's it's purpose you know? Or figured out how to use that album effectively for like, themes and stuff

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh well, right in this moment NOTHING bc I feel EMO and I'm too TIRED to write ANYTHING...

But I am happy with the sentence structure in my autistic Steve fic's - I tried to use very short and very long sentences to help express his thought processes when he's in different emotional states, and think I did it, effectively ?

Also I sometimes write stuff only bc I think it's funny - idk if it's funny for anyone else but I guess it means I have a lot of variety in my content... and silliness... which is good... (?)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Never knowing how much information to give. Sometimes i like to keep is sparse to keep the vibe going, like the tension or emotion. But sometimes I think I miss out on key descriptions and added context without noticing. Loosing more information about place and sometimes key movement and descriptions of the characters. What I lack is ✨world building✨

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I only speak little baby English so probably wouldn't do it personally - I have, like, nothing against it though?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This one!!!!!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

hmmmmmm... I'm gonna go with three just because I wrote them all pretty recently and think they show some improvement, like I was able to express what i wanted in them. So;

Hug - Autistic Eddie my love - I like the pacing a the structure in this, I think I maybe do actually do some world building here, which gives nice context to this Eddie and where he is mentally in the moment of his meltdown.

Love in a safety pin - I think it's one of my favourite feedist kink fic's that I've written, just because I think it's a good mix of the kink and their developing relationship. Like it's not all just horny, there's plot and character development, along with being hot. Like, I think it does a good job of showing what the kink can be, because it maybe gets a bad rap. It's a lot of different things, and it's hot when its pleasurable for both parties, and it's still just people with the same emotions as any other kinks, still pining, still insecurity... ya idk :)

Bi Freak - I just really wanted to do a good degradation kink, like some straight masochism you know? And I think I did an okay job. Also this is a dom Steve that I think is very actually fitting for the character but I haven't really read before, so, I wanted to explore that too.

-

Not gonna tag bc I don't have the capacity too right now but i'm seriously not joking if you want to do this - here, you're tagged.

Tag me and I WILL shout in the comments about it

[posallys]

annual writing self-evaluation

i was tagged by quite a few people but i only remember seed and mari so <3

1. number of stories posted to ao3

10

2. word count posted for the year

52,966....so 53k

3. fandoms i wrote for

pjo

4. pairings

percabeth and posally

5. story with the most...

kudos: stuck in my head (stuck in my heart) - 218 bookmarks: stuck in my head (stuck in my heart) - 68 comments: champagne problems - 32

6. work i'm most proud of (and why)

im probably most proud of stuck in my head because it was the first long fic i did and also some of my lines? they really popped off me thinks. but like i also really like all of the posally fics i've done just because i'm creating my own little world for them <3

7. work i'm least proud of (and why)

i don't think i have a least favorite??? idk in my head all of the posally fics are one long continuous fic so it's not any individual one, and the other 4 percabeth fics i thought were all decent? so none.

8. share or describe a favorite review received

the comments on the gdocs drafts are my favorite tbh. so anyone who has beta'd (mainly mari and syd) because i get their real-time reactions to everything happening and they're able to comment on individual lines and such. also any comment that quotes a line i wrote...if you do this i love you so much you don't even know

9. time when writing was really, really hard

all of it. my brain can come up with ideas but the words....words are hard

10. a favorite excerpt from your writing

idk 😭😭 maybe when percy and estelle bicker? i love their dynamics so maybe this???

Estelle plops down beside Percy and he sighs, throwing an arm around her shoulder. She tilts her head to look at him. “Is she your girlfriend?” “Uh,” Percy reaches a hand up to scratch his neck. “No. Um. She’s just my friend.” Estelle narrows her eyes. “I don’t believe you.” “She’s a friend, Stelle. That’s all,” he says, but he wishes the words weren’t true. “‘ You look very pretty right now,’” she mimics him. “You’re a menace.” “So I’m right?” “No, you’re a menace.” “Maybe, but I’m right.” “No.” “But you like her?”

or maybe these ones from stuck in my head

“He thinks it’s funny how things are just things until you love somebody. Purple hair clippies were always just purple hair clippies, but now they’re something that makes his heart speed up and a smile spread across his face because they’re not just purple hair clippies anymore—they’re a part of Annabeth. A part of the person he loves.”

“She’s beautiful not only in her appearance, but in her mind and soul, and it’s hard to look at her without his heart clenching and his lungs feeling like the breath has been knocked out of them.”

“Soft golden light has always made her look ethereal, as if it were hand-woven for her and her alone.”

11. how did you grow as a writer this year

i think my overall style has improved as well as sentence structure? idk my writing doesn't feel as bleh when i read over new stuff as it did with older stuff? i've definitely started using more flowery writing.

12. how do you hope to grow next year

i want to be better at planning and plots. i kind of want to write more long fics instead of one shots

13. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer

mari and syd my besties. they beta literally everything i write and they make it so much better and i love them a lot

14. did anything from your reallife show up in your writing?

i don't think so? not that i can think of, anyway

15. any wisdom to share with other writers?

don't feel pressured to finish anything, especially fic. fic is supposed to be fun, and feeling like you're failing when you don't post fic is going to stress you out more than it's worth tbh. i've got like 13 half-written, barely coherent fics sitting in gdocs rn and i simply work on them as inspiration strikes.

16. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) this year?

hehe yes. i've got one fic that i'm looking forward to writing but i've only got 1k done so don't get your hopes up or anything, and then i've got a long fic outline in the works, but i may end up combining the 1k i have with the outline for the long fic and merge the two together.

17. tag some writers

i'm not gonna tag anyone because i'm like the last person to do this lol (i wasn't on tumblr for like a week because my bf was visiting <3) but if you see this and you want to, have at it!!

[khadgarfield]

I hate new years a lot. More than any other day of the year actually. However, I DO enjoy opportunities for planning general life improvement and so with the new year here now in spite of my wishes, I've been thinking about a list of broad things I'd like to work on creatively in 2022. This is for the most part building on/streamlining the various lists i had come up with earlier in december, hopefully for my convenience..

> plan and write some kind of coherent long story (70-100k), in which the plot isnt simply 'and then they fucked'. IMM doesnt count we dont talk about that fic in this house. (I will finish it eventually I promise)

>make ugly art. Truly. stop getting so stressed about making art that looks """good""" or even adequate cause it just ends up looking wooden and it hinders actual improvement. Girl get sloppy with it.

>learn to sculpt acrylic nails using forms cause it looks fun af.

>become cringier (at least 40%)

>write a cv. Maybe. Idk I'm not committed to this one.

>focus on quality over quantity with writing? Spend more time looking at editing, structure and other mechanical aspects of storytelling instead of just. Auto writing while channeling the ghost of some forlorn romantic with a massive hair kink.

>join a water filter based multilevel marketing company and scam all my friends and family. Or just maybe write some more fics for something that isnt wow. I'm still waiting on that inspiration for an original work but it may still be a few years yet. the ability to create OCs still eludes me.

>'hi this is my OC Kyle hes some guy who has been wearing the same pair of timberlands with a hole in the bottom for three years and he has anxiety and he eats a lot of salt and vinegar potato chips.' Jokes on you that's just me irl >.<

Anyway. Happy 2022, I hope its gentle to you all, and thank you for being here <3

[coffeesuperhero]

leverage fic recs

So, I needed a better organizational system than my AO3 bookmarks (boy do I miss delicious!), so I’m just going to start a post for myself here and reblog it occasionally as I add to it. Most (all?) of these are OT3 fics, because I am who I am and I read what I read. If you want non-OT3 fic recs, I am not your person. Probably you have read these, but if you haven’t, what are you waiting for! 

Gen: 

01. The Fake Geek Boy Job, by shinealightonme.  It’s casefic at a fan convention and Eliot has to cosplay. In spandex. Go read it and enjoy yourself, already. 

Beautiful shippy fic (everyone is together/small moments/slice of life): 

01. The Three Rings Job, by HugeAlienPie.  Sophie POV. The OT3 at Nate and Sophie’s wedding, where Nate and Sophie are not aware that there is now an OT3. It’s soft. And so sweet you could serve it as dessert. And it has the best boat name for a Nate and Sophie boat in the world. 

02. hacker/hitter/thief/home, by AtlantisRises.  A collection of short OT3 fics that hit you just right in the feels, in the best way. 

03. Nothing’s Exactly What We Need, by BabylonsFall. The OT3, on vacation. 

Everybody is together and also there’s a con: 

01. Covenants, Conditions, & Restrictions, by page_runner.  We love a good long fic where the OT3 help an old lady and con an HOA, because HOA’s are the worst. This fic also gives me deeply hurt feelings about the team having to leave Portland, which I know in my heart is probably the Way of Things, but which I will never write myself because heartbreak. But this deals with that reality so beautifully, and it’s a good con, too. 

Getting together OT3:  01. just want you close, by biblionerd07.  Eliot-POV, post-rundown, man am I a sucker for Eliot-POV stories where Parker and Hardison just...love the hell out of him, and this is just a lovely, careful, sweet version of that. 

02. international small arms traffic blues, by ftmsteverogers.  Eliot POV, character study + get together fic. Makes you very sad for Eliot, and then happier for Eliot. And I’m a sucker for anytime someone has to call Sophie for advice. 

03. So Come On, Avalanche, by elysiumwaits.  It is Eliot POV snowed-in at a cabin OT3 getting together fic, so idk what more you need to know to read it. 

04. Rings a Bell, by venilia.  Eliot wakes up with amnesia and thinks he’s married to Hardison and also has a Parker, it’s silly and sweet. 

05. The Thunderous Roll of a Tropical Sea (the moonlit memory I can’t seem to lose), by phnelt. **content notes: canon-typical violence + Mature! grown and sexy content ahoy!** I have classified this as a “getting together” story, because ultimately that is what happens, but it’s probably more like “eliot getting his shit together, and now they’re all together,” which is my favorite flavor of OT3 getting together fic, anyway. It starts out a little sad, because gasp! They were together but they split up!! But it has a happy ending. It also has fake marrieds, my favorite trope of all time. Eliot feeding Hardison strawberries and playing with his fake husband on a beach while Parker watches? Please. 

06. Happy Meal, by @leiascully Listen, I admit that I am biased, because my wife wrote this for me, but it is this really hilarious flirting-over-the-comms-pre-OT3-sort-of-getting-together story, and I laughed, and it was great, so you should enjoy it, too. 

07. Oklahoma’s Next Top Model, by Hedgehog-O-Brien (Roshwen).  Hardison POV. This fic has the greatest tag of all time, which is: “Title not entirely accurate bc Eliot's clearly a bottom but who cares“ and I knew I was in good hands solely on that basis before I read a word of the fic. Tbh I put this in this “getting together” category because I feel like it’s heavily implied at the end that there’s a getting together situation happening, but like, that’s not why you read this fic. You read this fic for the ridiculously over the top OT3 photoshoot of your wildest dreams. You will laugh. You will be entertained. Enjoy!

08. Fifty Fake Dates, by calico_fiction. WIP, Hardison POV. nb: This hasn’t been updated in a minute but a) I too have WIPs that take a long-ass time between updates, if this updated in ten years I would still be excited to read it and b) the chapter that’s up is such a delight to me that I really think it’s worth a read even if this is all of this story the author wants to post. It’s a great Hardison POV with some delicious pining and fake Hardison/Eliot dating, which is my jam. 

09. For Real, by BurningTea. It’s hard to do an accidental marriage in this canon, but this fic did that! Hardison’s technical expertise goes a bit awry and everybody has to have....a talk. About feelings. 

Hurt/comfort: 

01. Dig Deep, by BurningTea.  Eliot has to dig his own grave and climb into it. It hurts a lot!!!! And then it’s comforting. So, exactly what it says on the tin. Good character observations and nicely written, hurts exactly right and comforts exactly right, too. 

Hot (nsfw, 18+, Mature, grown and sexy content for grown and sexy adults): 

01. Don’t Come Late, by @leiascully.  It’s just...the OT3, having really hot sex. That’s it, that’s the review. (The writing is delightful and there’s like, funny stuff in with the sexy stuff, which is real life and always nice to see, you know?) 

02. Take the Leap, by Penknife.  Hardison POV, first time OT3 threesome/verbal domination. The characterization in this is just **chef’s kiss** perfection. Funny, and hot. My favorite combo. 

03. The Post-Rundown Job, by DelektorskiChick.  Eliot POV, demi-Parker, mostly Eliot/Hardison but Parker’s participating in her own way. I’m a sucker for some good sexy post-injury care and this is right after Rundown, so it checks that box big time. 

04. In Sync, by monsoon_moon. Eliot POV, first time OT3some. 

Character studies: 

01. Dawning, by @darkfinch. Eliot POV, mind all the warnings.  This (read with its sequel, a WIP linked below) is probably one of my favorite Leverage pieces in existence? It is just the most beautiful, dark, horrible look at Eliot-works-for-Moreau you could hope for, except that also there’s a sequel called Reverberate, and that is also perfect and intense and really digs into what’s happening in Eliot’s mind and life during s3 after Nate drops the “we’re going after Moreau” bombshell. Both of these stories are painfully perfect and believable and real and I love them with my whole heart. The story structure and writing on both of those pieces is just excellent and the characterization is pitch perfect, and along with the stress and trauma you really get some just fantastic character moments. Idky you’re reading my review instead of the story tbh go read that, thanks!

02. Ten Prides in Portland, by @leiascully.  I put this as a character study because it is one? It’s about queer shit, and learning to be part of a community of queer people, and learning that you can be a mentor and a role model for other queer people even if you don’t have your own stuff figured out. I am extremely biased because this is my wife and I got to watch this story grow into existence every day, but I think it’s a really beautiful look at the queer community broadly, all the people who fit under the umbrella, and belonging. It’s sweet and funny and beautiful, and I really needed to feel like I was at Pride this year, and this helped. 

03. Different, by @leiascully. Hardison POV. Honestly this just made me want to go find baby Hardison and hug him for a really long time. 

04. The Twine and the Things We Bind, by @darkfinch.  WIP, H/C, big on the H. Parker and Hardison taking care of an extremely fractious, extremely injured Eliot Spencer is my jam.com forever and this is all of that with beautiful characterization and writing. Also some of the best action scenes I’ve read in a while. I do not write action At All and this does it SO WELL. 

05. A Kiss for Luck, by AlannaOfRoses.  Parker POV. A good look into Parker’s thoughts on luck during the Rundown Job/feelsy flashbacks. 

OC/Outsider POV: 

01. Let’s Go Steal a Protege, by @innytoes. WIP.  Gosh I adore this. It’s found family shenanigans from an outside-the-OT3 perspective. Jamie, the main POV OC (nonbinary rep!!), is a fucking delight of a human and their interactions with the super!married OT3 are all incredible. It is sweet and funny and sometimes sad but almost always in a happy tears kind of way, because it’s about finding a family. And there are so many genuine laugh-out-loud moments in this fic that I reread it a lot lately or think of it when I need something to lift my spirits. (There is a bit in chapter six with some thrift store purchases that I just absolutely lose my shit at every time.) I very badly want this story to just be canon tbh. Petition for that. 

AU’s

01. The Out of This World Job (Or, Per Furtum Ad Astra), by pathera.  It’s a job, but it’s IN SPACE. Parker, Hardison, & Eliot find a spaceship; shenanigans ensue. Beautifully in character, some poignant character moments, awesome writing, and just a really vivid world. 

02. Plastic Pearls, by BabylonsFall.  Kidfic! Various POV. Parker and Hardison move in across the hall from single-dad Eliot. I adore this, it is sweet and soft and everything you could hope for in a story where Eliot is raising a smol Molly. 

[galacticlamps]

Tagged by @the--highlanders​ ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

13

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

*

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

[set-phasers-to-whump]

is something burning?

Prompt: fire, heat exhaustion

Whumpee: Eddie Diaz

Fandom: 911

hey whats up!! hope u like this fic! 

It’s been a long day, and they’re only ten hours into their shift. Call after call, fire after fire. As soon as they’re back to the station, the alarm is ringing again. They’re all handling it in various ways, from Chim’s griping to Buck’s staring wistfully out the window of the truck as they rush to yet another accident. Eddie, though, feels he’s handling it far worse than the others.

Not because he’s being especially irritable about it, or snapping at anyone, or having any kind of emotional reaction to the seemingly neverending calls. He just feels bad. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he felt feverish, but that wasn’t quite right. He’s sweaty, yes, weirdly thirsty, and tired, but he doesn’t feel sick. Just...bad.

He wonders, briefly, as they’re climbing into the truck to go to their second structure fire of the day, if it’s because of the heat. But he looks around at everyone else, and they all seem fine. Maybe a little tired and grumpy, but none of them look like how he feels. There’s no point in bringing it up, then, he figures. He’s not sick and they’re not feeling it. He can just ignore this, anyway. It’s not that bad, and he’s still got a lot of work ahead of him. He pushes the bad feeling to the side.

They arrive at the fire a minute later, and it’s a big one. Normally, they’d all be a little more excited about such a fire, but the stress of the day has worn on them, so that they all just do their jobs, with little conversation passing between them, something which suits Eddie just fine. He’s too tired to focus on anything but doing what he needs to do. 

The fire is in a small, one-story home, something which Eddie is deeply grateful for. No ladders to climb this time. The family that lives there is gathered safely outside, but looking considerably distressed. 

“You have to go in there and get Benny!” a little boy says to Eddie, running up to him as he’s pulling equipment off the truck.

“Who’s Benny?” Eddie asks, alarmed. There shouldn’t have been anyone still inside. 

“He’s our dog, he was hiding under the couch and we couldn’t get him out!” the boy responds tearfully. “Dad was going to go back to get him, but it was too hot. You have to save him!”

“I will,” Eddie promises, and hurries to relay this information to Bobby, who tells him to get the dog as quickly as he can so they can start with the hoses.

As Eddie enters the burning house, he feels briefly faint, stumbling over his feet for a second. As soon as the smoke engulfs him, though, the feeling fades, and everything unimportant goes away. 

He locates the dog quickly enough. He’s shivering and a little dusty, but seems otherwise unharmed. Eddie picks him up and carries him outside, setting him onto the grass and watching with a smile as he goes running up to the little boy.

He starts walking back to his team to help them extinguish the fire, but he doesn’t make it more than three steps before that faint feeling comes back, and his head starts to spin. A wave of nausea hits him all of a sudden, and he scrabbles to get his mask off. The second it’s away from his face, he turns to the side, thinking he’s going to be sick, but instead the faintness increases tenfold, the world spins rapidly around him, and he collapses to his knees on the grass, not unconscious but not fully present, shivering and sweating at the same time.

And then, there’s a cold hand on the back of his neck, and he flinches away from it, then leans back into it, not sure if he’s hot or cold. He hears voices talking above him, hears water being pumped from the hoses, but all of it blurs together so that he can’t pick out anything distinct. His head is spinning. He thinks he’d be lying on the ground if it weren’t for the hand on his neck and the other one on his chest, holding him up. 

Suddenly, the hand on his neck is moving, and then he feels someone undoing the zipper of his turnout coat and pulling it off of him. The first gust of hot air that hits his chest feels like the best thing in the world, and then the hand is back on the back of his neck, this time pressing something much cooler and much more wet into his skin. It drips down his back and makes him shudder, but whoever is holding it there doesn’t move it. 

He’s not sure of how long he stays like that, half out of it, with someone - multiple someones? - keeping him from collapsing, cooling him down. Eventually, though, his hearing clears up, and then Buck is talking to him, and Eddie thinks that he would really like to respond, but he is far too tired to even open his mouth.

Buck asks if he feels up to moving, and he shakes his head, wincing when it brings a brief wave of dizziness with it. 

“Can you drink some water, at least?” Buck asks, and Eddie nods, feeling suddenly as though he’s never been this thirsty in his life. 

Then there is a cool bottle being pressed into his hands, and he drinks half of it at record speed, only stopping when he nearly chokes. Someone takes the bottle from him, then, and presses another cool cloth to his forehead. He leans unconsciously into the touch, no longer shivering at the cold. 

Buck is speaking to him again, about nothing in particular, and he listens, slowly but surely feeling some of his strength come back, feeling some of the overwhelming heat leave his body. Finally, after what might be minutes but might just as easily be hours, he feels well enough to stand on shaky legs, nearly falling right back to his knees until Buck’s arm wraps around his shoulders. He leans heavily on the other man as they start walking - where to, he can’t tell. 

They stop after what feels like a mile, and then Buck is gently pushing him down onto something, and he recognizes, through his now mostly-cleared-up but still unfocused vision, that he’s in the back of the ambulance. He feels Buck sit down next to him, far enough away that none of his body heat is affecting Eddie, and then he feels someone else - Hen, he knows, instinctively - touch his forehead, and his cheeks, and his neck, and so on. She asks him how he’s feeling as she hands him another bottle of water, warning him to take it slow this time. 

He tells her he feels okay in between sips, which isn’t completely true considering he still feels like shit, but he certainly feels better than he had before, at any rate. 

“What happened?” he thinks to ask. 

“You almost passed out from heat exhaustion is what happened,” Buck says from next to him, sounding angry.

“Oh,” Eddie says, eloquently. 

Hen sighs. “Why didn’t you tell us, Eddie?” she asks. “You must’ve felt it coming on.”

Eddie shrugs halfheartedly. “Didn’t seem like a big deal. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” 

Buck scoffs. “Really, Eddie? You didn’t think heat exhaustion was a big deal? People die from that.”

“Sorry,” Eddie mutters. “I really didn’t think anything was wrong. Not seriously, anyway. Didn’t feel sick. Just kinda bad.”

Now it’s Buck’s turn to sigh, his voice softening from that angry-yet-concerned tone. “Eds, you gotta tell us stuff like that. Even if you don’t think it’s important.”

“I’ll try,” Eddie says, knowing that he probably won’t. He’s just not that kind of person. He never has been. He keeps his problems to himself.

And then those problems overwhelm you, says a voice in the back of his head that he hates because he knows it’s right. 

He is spared the pain of having to think on that particular subject anymore by Buck’s hand coming to rest on his back, a presence that feels blissfully neither warm nor cold. 

“We’re a team, Eddie,” he says, like a promise. “We’re always here for you. You just have to let us be.”

Thanks so much for reading this!!!!!! I hope u enjoyed and sorry for any errors, i didnt edit alot bc i gotta go watch the amazing race bc its finally back on!!! idk if any of u like it but i’ve been watching it w my family for as long as i can remember lol

[gayregis]

ok i'm like 1000% sure this wasn't anywhere near sapkowskis intention but cahir kinda gave me the having asian parent(s) vibe. like being forced into a career super young because your parents said so, struggling to form your own opinions on whats expected of you until a mental breakdown, subsequently distancing yourself from your past and history (i'm not from nilfgaard i'm from vicovaro damn it). idk maybe i'm projecting lol but parts of cahir's story rly reminded me of my life. pt 1

like he kept a nilfgaardian name while insisting he's not nilfgaardian. now i'm definitely projecting here, but my very japanese name was really the one asian thing about myself i didn't get rid of when i dramatically changed my life's direction. the name just seemed too Me that i couldn't change it. i have a bit less self loathing and internalized racism now, and i wonder that if cahir had lived if he would have been more ok with being nilfgaardian and pt 2

tried to change his future and not his past. like realizing he didn't really have a choice when he was younger and trying to stop that cycle of negativity while keeping the parts of himself he liked intact. ok i'm sorry this is probably completely nonsensical i'm done ok thank you

i’m so glad i’m not the only one who found these similarities... i’m so glad i’m valid to relate to cahir... these asks are so well-thought out, thank you for this...

to anyone reading... of course being asian doesn’t inherently mean your life revolves around career and school, but it’s a common experience... when cahir described how he woke up with ciri gone and immediately just began to cry like a wolf and run around in circles, so hysterical that they had to tie him up... i was like, that’s just my entire high school career right there. i was under so much stress (not only cultural, but social) to succeed, that it blinded me and made me so ill. if i messed up, if i failed, it felt as though it would be the end of me. 

again, it’s not an inherently “asian experience,” it’s just common for asian students to have this experience... and many other asian students at my school felt the same way, i’m sure. put kids in a pressure cooker and they’ll sincerely lose their minds.

it comes at you from all sides, as it did for cahir... cultural, social, familial... everything is egging you on to succeed, succeed, make us proud... and that’s wrong, no one should be treated like a racehorse. i’m so glad sapkowski decided to have cahir as a character, develop him in this way and not just cast him as a throwaway villain

and yes, you’re right too about the name. (ok obviously when the hansa made fun of cahir’s name it’s funny because it’s ironic because it’s dandelion making fun of how long the name is, but also they’re all friends in this situation and it’s not done out of like, racism or malice, but just “your name is long, lol”) but i feel like his name standing out as a very nilfgaardian name , especially when he is travelling through the northern realms, is an experience that a lot of asian people and people from other marginalized cultures can identify with, if their name is quote unquote traditional. it’s something to honor, something you’ve been taught to be proud of (cahir’s name is literally comprised of his mother’s, grandfather’s, and father’s names) but once you’re the odd one out, you feel like you’re wearing a dunce cap on your head... sticking out... and in the midst of his crisis about confronting imperialism, how does he confront his name, the symbol of his entire identity? is his entire identity founded on the culture of an empire that slays for land and power? 

sapkowski never goes into the grand specifics of vicovarian-nilfgaardian relationships, but i assume it’s something akin to how ancient rome had its conquered territories and provinces. hell, vicovaro may have been given to emhyr in its deceased ruler’s will. but it allows for this mix of native and imperial culture, religion, society, etc. of course his identity is vicovarian, no one in an empire from a conquered / taken province will state their nationality as being directly of the empire. but it’s just really interesting how this is such a small facet of his character, some funny recurring joke - and it signifies so much about him.

and yes, i agree. it’s something i’d like to see pursued in fanart or fic, cahir not dwelling on regretting his past but instead working towards a better future for himself. in my mind, he goes to travel the northern realms, learning about everyone he was always taught to fight against, and also trying to trace his lineage from his maternal side back (since mawr was of northern blood...). perhaps his great-aunt assire var anahid helps him in this endeavor, i don’t know. but yes, cahir having an opportunity to grow beyond how he was structured to, finding independence as a young man in his mid-20s, trying to come to a more developed understanding of the continent and its people, reflecting on his past with not bitterness but contemplation... very good stuff. i feel like toussaint isn’t the time or place for most of this, as it was very much a distraction for the company, a happy place where no bad thoughts ever cross one’s mind, as odysseus faced the island of the lotus eaters, geralt of rivia faced a stay in the beauclair palace, library, and kitchen table. but after toussaint, if they had survived stygga... most definitely. this would have been so much more satisfying as an end to chair’s character arc than cahiri of all things

[devourer--of--books]

Callis was Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist and here’s why

Okay so, in this post we’ll be discussing topics such as sex, contraception, and some religion in the context of it being used as a mean to control people sexually. 

If you’re younger than 13, honestly, this post isn’t for you. 

If you’re unlucky, like me, and your school didn't give you proper sex ed, I beg you to ask someone about it. Your older sibling, your mom, someone, okay? Ask google. It’s important stuff you need to know.

First of all, for composure’s sake, let’s all pretend I didn’t start thinking of this due to me writing a smut fic. At 4am, on my tablet notes. On my defense, tho, there’s an astonishing lack of E-rated fics on this fandom and someone ought do it, okay? Moving on.

So, where shall we start?

Let’s get context out of the way, welcome to my analyses, the actual headcanons are here, I promise, let me just bore you to death first:

The SGE book series overall is set in fantasy fairytale land (The Endless Woods), with the exception of Gavaldon, aka, the reader village. Due to this, there’s not really a time period liking the SGE world to ours, neither can it be presumed by the world building, as Soman mixes traditional medieval elements  with modern elements, which I know bothers some of you too, it ain’t just me, but nevermind that right now.

The point is, the arguments I’m making on this post are based on aspects mentioned in the books, but I’m also going to draw some information from the real world.

A big chunk of the first two books rely on the world the existence of a patriarchal structure in that world, as do some plot points during the rest of the series, but if I were to dive into that we’d be here all night. Talking about the Endless Woods social structure is very complicated, specially with the ‘no labels in the woods’ stuff combined with the misogyny. It’s messy. 

Thankfully for this post, we’ll only go into Gavaldon, because I feel things there are more… explicit (pun intended).

So here’s what we know of Gavaldon’s social structure pre-book 1:

It’s a decent sized village with no official government. There’s no political figure of power, such as prince or a mayor, as they eventually get in QFG. There also doesn’t seem to be an actual economic class distinction between the people of Gavaldon, other than mentions of beggars (pretty sure it’s just one tho, but I might be wrong). Everyone works and trades amongst themselves, with people having more or less the same things (except for Callis and Agatha, due to them being social outcasts). 

Who has power in Gavaldon?

The Elders Council. They make the laws, they are respected, they have influence, and therefore they have power. These dudes stopped people from selling food to Stefan’s family during book 2, and threatened his new family in front of everybody during book 3. And everyone in Gavaldon loved that man. Why are they powerful tho?

Power is born out of inequality. If you have what we have not, we follow where you lead. Gavaldon has no nobles and no bourgeoisie. Geez, I wonder which powerful class we’re missing.

The clergy.

Personally, I hold no love for the church. I’m an atheist, but, as this post is about SGE and not religion, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible, as the point is not to offend or disrespect anyone. When I mention ‘religion’ or ‘clergy’ from this point on, I’m talking about religion as an Institution. As in the Medieval Catholic Church (which if you don’t agree was at least kind of very evil, I don’t know if I want you reading my posts anyway, so feel free to leave).

Most likely, the members of Elders Council of Galvadon were linked to its Church, whatever religion they may have. I can’t see any reason why they would have so much influence otherwise. Who appoints new men to the positions once one of them dies? I’m gonna guess the remaining members of the Council. 

And no one said anything? For centuries. Okay. Corruption? Never heard of her.

Also, burning unmarried women as a way to solve problems claiming they were witches? Wonder where I’ve seen this before.

The fact they’re men, should get mentioned too, just in case you forgot. I bet there are women just as old and wise, if not wiser than the members of the council. Hm, wow why they’re not part of the council.

This hypothesis ties in with the fact that the education given to the kids is limited to the local school, which, given the lack of government and simplicity of work relations, is probably funded by the clergy. We don’t see any proof of this, but again, if we’re comparing Galvadon to a medieval village, it would make sense.

What is even taught at this school? Math and whatever language they speak there, sure, but like they have little to no history that we know of, geography would be pointless, there are no foreign languages, science who, and with these clowns running the village I’ll bet there is no philosophy or social studies and... Doesn’t matter, let’s not do this right now.

Callis briefly mentioned that all girls in Galvadon must marry before the end of their school education, or they are deemed witches. The Elders Council even chooses the matches, in case those aren’t naturally formed or if they disagree with pre-existing ones. These kids are what,15,16, maybe younger?

(this makes me so mad, you have no idea-)

ANYWAY. They form these child marriages, for... look I’m gonna presume is because of population reposition. They need an average of 2 kids per couple or they’ll have more people dying than people being born. Let’s just presume it’s because of this because if it’s because of some tradition stuff I’ll scream, okay?

Maybe they have a low life expectancy in Gavaldon (which is another evidence for the case that the elders are part of the clergy, they probably don’t work, so they live longer). 

So have them teenage girls poping them babies, I guess.

Also, a miracle they have survived this long, because the genetic pool for Gavaldon must be the worst ever, everyone is related to everyone, ew. At least, in theory, there would be no STIs.

In theory.

Ahem… During the middle ages, all forms of birth control tended to be frowned upon, at least here on the west, including coitus interruptus (aka, pull out method), (tho it depends of who was the pope at the time, some of them were cool with this one if you already had too many kids and was like super poor), because sex was supposed to be about procreating, so a marriage with no kids was ‘pointless’. 

(hear me raging in the background, this context is stressing me out, i just wanna get to the headcanons-)

We can assume this view is probably compatible with the Elders Council mindset, as they are marrying CHILDREN. 

If there were any available contraceptive methods, you can bet they weren’t teaching this stuff at school. They probably have no sex ed, and if they do, it’s going to be just about periods and vague stuff. Gotta love them church schools (I never went to one, officially, but honestly, I live in Brazil, what even is Secular State).

(“Don’t have sex before marriage, you’re gonna get pregnant and die”, - one of the teachers at the Galvadon school at some point, I bet)

Let me also mention that there is an specific Gavaldon law that states that if a girl is pregnant she is going to marry the boy who knocked her up. Which, specially in Vanessa’s case, makes no f-ing sense. Could she prove it was Stefan’s? Did she sent it to a DNA lab? If Stefan was the Elders favorite why would they not take his word?

I digress, let’s say Stefan didn’t deny sleeping with her and only said he was under a spell, which, hm, how dumb do you have to be to do that, it’s lying 101, Stefan c’mon, but okay, you do you.

So they are probably super “moral” in Galvadon. You know, the kind of moral who just swipes stuff under the rug. Like, yeah, Stefan you’re now doomed to marrying Vanessa, but ain’t nobody gonna say a thing if you cheat on her as long as you don’t do it during plain daylight.

(The amount of closeted gays in Gavaldon is probably astronomical, can you imagine?)

And then you have Callis. Whom I think is probably responsible for the introduction of birth control in Gavaldon. We have arrived at the headcanons. Hear me out:

After Stefan saved Callis, she was deemed a witch. She’s a ‘witch’ doctor for the town. Only the most desperate of people seek her out. 

That means she normally wouldn’t get a lot of patients. Like, Idk about you, but Gavaldon doesn’t seem big enough for her to have people looking for her everyday. And she probably had to feed Agatha somehow.

But, while her being a doctor for normal diseases wasn’t really working all that well, everyone knew she had a hand in Vanessa’s miracle child. So ‘infertile’ women and women who had been getting sickly during pregnancies start looking for her, asking for her to help them. 

Callis obviously doesn’t use her magic, but as she can’t say she used magic for Vanessa, she gives them generally good advice about herbs and stuff they can add to their food to make it ‘more likely’, aka stuff that reduces stress, telling them how to eat better, stuff they should avoid, etc. She’s no big expert, but at least in the Endless Woods they had sex ed and she was witch, she just knows stuff.

So she becomes this sort of witch gynecologist for Gavaldon’s desperate women.

It works for a while, but then people eventually share these tips amongst themselves to avoid going to see her. Then, it’s back to slightly starving herself so baby Agatha could eat.

One day, a teenage girl arrives at her doorstep in the middle of the night, trading food for her help. If she could ‘make people more fertile’, she could surely make them miscarriage. Maybe this girl got pregnant by sleeping with someone the elders didn’t aprove for her to marry, maybe it was something else a bit darker, but we won’t talk about how that could be common, given you could literally force someone to marry you if they had your child.

Callis panics, because she wasn't ‘making anyone more fertile’ really, she was making them healthier and therefore more likely to have a healthy kid. If she were to tell her to do the reverse of what she told the others, not only it wouldn’t work, but it would actually harm the girl’s health.

At first she’s like, “I can’t help you…”, but then she hears baby Agatha crying, poor thing, so hungry all the time. So Callis decides, “you know what, might as well”.

There’s probably many potions made with magic one could take to not have a baby in the Woods. Even ones that cause abortions with no side effects or danger to the woman. But there also more natural ways, ones that maybe aren’t 100% effective, but would work, tho it had some side effects.

So Callis, makes her a potion to take. For real life comparisons, let’s say she used Queen Anne’s Lace, which works a bit like Plan B. The girl is thankful, and goes on her way.

Soon enough, everybody knows Callis can do these potions. You have girls sneaking to Graves Hill in the middle of the night to get help in exchange for food and while the elders know something is fishy, they can’t do much anything about it. They ask Callis what is up with that and she’s like ‘nope, just ya know, helping them have babies, plan b who’.

She tries to introduce a variation of the potion, one that acts as birth control, because it would stop people from being irresponsable all the time, but the Plan B one is the one every girl wants, because well, it’s easier. You can be unsafe and then take a potion and it’s fine. Soon, it’s not just girls. There’s full grown women there too, who should really know better.

She is pissed, so she says she won’t make them any more potions unless people stop being so careless.

Someone tries to make a knock-off potion, but it ends tragically, because people don’t really know what Callis puts in it. And well… you know what looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace?

F-ing Water Hemlock, that’s what.

After that incident, people listen to Callis when it came to ingesting stuff. And thus, birth control culture is born in Gavaldon. Other people started trying out other things to avoid dealing with Callis, like animal-based condoms, pull-out method and inserting acacia gum into your vagina before you had sex,but she had a good clientele overall.

The Elders? Pissed. But since they couldn’t just prove this was her fault, they just kept on hating on her from a distance.

After Agatha has her first period, Callis sits her down and pretty much gives her the talk. Agatha doesn’t really see a point to it, boys are gross, but she listens nonetheless. 

Callis gives Agatha the best sex ed homeclass ever, you can bet she will teach her correct anatomy, debunk myths the school told her about both periods and her own body and even promised her to teach her how to make the birth control potion once she got older.

Again Agatha doesn’t see a point, but okay.

When Agatha comes home with Tedros, years later tho. Callis is... worried.

She tries to ask Agatha if she’s being safe but her daughter just... stops functioning. Blushing like crazy. 

 (“We just kissed, like, once, mom.”)

That being said… Callis doesn’t live long enough to teach her how to make the potion.

So when Tedros and Agatha’s relationship starts to progress (hm… if you wanna read something about it, maybe wait a couple of days, I might or my might not have a sin fic in the works, it wouldn’t be one of my posts if it had no self-promotion, I’m my own sponsor after all) she’s unsure of who to ask about this.

And it makes her extra sad about her mother’s death, so that’s great.

I honestly don’t know who she would ask. If you have any ideas, please tell me. Because I’m kind of inclined to think that maybe Merlin might have predicted this and handed a recipe to her as a semi-joke, but idk. Maybe Uma?

But yes, Callis was totally Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist. And after they made Stefan mayor, I want people to remember her for the absolute legend she was, okay?

[bipercabeth]

Hi you are such a good writer I was hoping you could give me some advice! I’m trying to write more consistently and more understandable for people to read, because I tend to just write my stream of consciousness and hope it sounds coherent but whenever I try to do that I totally lose my train of thought and the ideas I had trying to write it in a way people would understand? Idk if this makes sense, but how do you tackle writing out a story and not forgetting the details you want in it?

phew okay! i got all of these within 24 hours so i’m going to combine them and hope that i can answer them all. i’m both honored and terrified that i’m the person y’all came to for advice, that’s wild! i’ll do my best to be coherent. (also thank u ur all very sweet). i made a post about this a while ago, but it’s pretty half-baked. i’m putting this under a read more because i know it’s going to get out of hand. 

as far as software, i don’t think you need anything more than google docs! it’s what i use for everything and it’s so functional. you can access it from any device with internet, it automatically saves, the mobile app is decent, it’s easy to share, easy to format, and you can download different docs to work on offline! the share feature is versatile depending on who is reading, so friends can just view and/or comment and betas can edit/suggest. it has never let me down. 

plotting really is its own beast because it’s different for every writer. i’m just going to take you through my process and hope there are parts that will work for you! i’m also going to use examples from a few of my outlines (mostly roommates but i’ll probably dip into a bellarke one or two) to make more sense of what i’m sure is going to be a slightly feverish post. i really love plotting and talking about writing and i’m already getting excited. 

with writing, there’s kind of a spectrum of plotters vs pantsers. plotters stick by outlines and planning out their writing whereas pantsers go by their gut. i know people who write both ways, and there’s no difference in the quality of their writing or plots! it’s just about what works best for each person. i’m a pretty hardcore plotter, but i leave myself room to improvise and for the story to grow. 

okay, so my general first step once i’ve got an idea for a story is to open up a google doc, make a bullet point, and just word vomit every single idea i have onto the page. separate bullet points for each idea, but if i have multiple ideas that relate to each other, i indent to keep them together. the point of keeping similar things together is to make the next step easier: organize them. once it’s all on the page, put it in chronological order, or if your story has flashbacks, the order the scenes appear in. here’s an example of what i mean (from my bellarke superhero au):

it’s quite half-baked! pretty vague language, but it ended up being enough for me to write the scene. each indent further explains the point before, making it a lot easier to sort your thoughts and structure scenes once you get to them. it’s by no means a blow by blow account of what’s going to happen, but the language is just enough to make me recall what i was thinking when i wrote it. 

after that, i look at what is usually several pages of scenes told through bullet points, and i start to look for common themes to separate them into chapters. this is also where i try to fine tune scenes and clear up any immediate plot holes i find. i try not to force myself to completely outline everything in the beginning because i end up changing several scenes anyway! sometimes you get to the actual writing part and realize a scene you thought was perfect misses the mark. sometimes you write and realize there’s a theme or issue you need to address through a specific moment. leave yourself some room to grow! this is also a great time to weave in parallels, callbacks, and important themes you want to include throughout the story. 

this is usually where i start writing! if it’s a complex story with lots of research, formatting, or character building, i might take more time before jumping in, but these asks are fanfic-specific and fanfic tends to be pretty straightforward. for writing, i like to use a different doc than my outline. there’s less scrolling that way, and i find that having my outline open on the same screen while i’m writing really cuts into my flow. i end up staring at point a and point b trying to figure them out rather than starting at point a and letting the scene run it’s course. it’s much easier for me to switch tabs when i get stuck. 

that’s the majority of my plotting process! i’m going to leave a few miscellaneous tips that have helped me immensely down below. 

i find that certain things just don’t help me in an outline. scenery, description, and most body language are things i think about when i’m actually writing and fully immersed in the story. my outlines tend to be dialogue, bare-bones plot points, and quotes/lyrics/links for inspiration. dialogue comes very easily to me and sets the tone of the scene, so having it the outline helps me get into the flow of a scene, after which everything else follows. and if a whole scene of dialogue comes to you, why risk forgetting it? some of my best scenes have come from two pages of dialogue in my outline. sometimes you just know how a scene is going to go. 

nobody is seeing your outline except for you and maybe a trusted friend or beta. it should serve you! there’s no right or wrong way to write a story, so find the things that work for you! there’s a lot of advice in this post, and it all works for me, but there are some people who wouldn’t benefit from any of it. a lot of figuring it out might be trial and error. 

let yourself be indecisive! you don’t have to have every moment figured out right away, and some room to breathe usually serves your story better in the long run. i really didn’t have any clue where i’m going in either of these parts of my outline, but once i got to these points in roommates it became more clear what they needed to be.  

finding inspiration to get back into a fic after a while away is really hard for me, so i like to leave myself reminders of art, other writing references, reminders of the Energy i’m going for, song lyrics, etc. like so:

writing can be stressful! make yourself laugh in your outline! most of these are me objectifying percy but it’s okay i’m valid

okay those are my general tips! i know it’s a lot! you might not use any of this! but i worked for a long time to find the things that work for me and maximize my ability to write, so i hope this makes the search a bit easier for people who are starting out. feel free to come to me with any writing problems you have, whether that’s through my inbox or dms. always happy to talk about it. happy writing!

[bourbon-ontherocks]

20 26 39!

Ooooh these are so great, thank you!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

Mwahaha, I literally just posted an almost 10k words chapter and you're still hungry?? Okay, so here are the first paragraphs of this Fitzpatrick story I'm working on (it's his POV):

He's a man of rules. Always have. There's nothing more satisfying than the certitude that things will happen exactly as planned. Wake up every morning at 7:15 precisely. Always wash his hands twice. Never talk shop on an empty stomach. Little things that provide anchoring in life. That's probably what drew him to accountancy in the first place. Rigid columns of numbers, irremovable rules carved in the granite of modern treasury.

Something which may sound boring to many people. But when others see complications he sees appeal. Opportunities. He likes his world obeying a set of rules. And that's when people start deviating from these that troubles come.

Take what's happening with the Boland case for example. But -- later on that.

Because today is not about work. Today is a day off. Today, it's been exactly ten years since Mary died.

  26. Standalone or series, and why?

I feel like I already answered a similar question a few weeks ago but I'm too lazy to look for my original post right now so I'll answer again, hopefully with new elements.

I started writing with series (I assume series means long fics here? Or are we talking about AO3 series which are a collection of fics? Am I questioning this too far? Does that even answer the question?) and as much as I like having space to develop a plot, have a wider range of characters and interactions, sow hidden clues everywhere, finish every chapter with a cliffhanger, I... am getting tired of it.

I mean, I generally love it at the beginning, but then at some point, once I've finished plotting the whole thing, I guess that the idea of having to write it is just stressful more than anything? Take the chapter from It's All Coming Back To Me that I posted last night for instance. I imagined its last scene (dialogue included) mid-January (I remember it distinctly because it was during a weekend I spent in London, I was walking along the Thames when... Nevermind). Mid-January!!!!! 😱😱😱

It was five months ago, and the thing is, during those five months, my brain has discovered new fic interests so it's really hard to pull my mind back at writing this fic because it's like, "Oh come on, I've finished planning this story already!". Like, I'm super happy with the chapter I posted, and I'll never abandon an unfinished story, but I don't know, it's been months since I've known exactly what happens in this fic, and all I have to do is write it now but my brain is more excited with newer projects (also I didn't plan to finish this story widely after S3 aired, and I generally like to stick to canon, which makes this story actually obsolete? Idk). The point is, I'm not spitting on this story at all, I still love it a lot and I enjoyed writing this chapter, and I'll enjoy writing the last one. It's just getting harder to get back in the right mindset as I'm dragging it along.

So no more long series for me at the moment, I think.

On the other hand, standalone stories... I started writing some one-shots while S3 aired, as a catharsis. And I very much enjoyed it. But if you look closely, you'll notice that I got growingly incapable of not adding a second chapter to them. That's exactly what happened with Take A Dip tbh. And I think that currently, this is my jam. I love that diptych structure with a cliffhanger in the middle, I think that the duality really allows for some contrast! You can switch POV to bring a different reading on the event (Don't Steal From Me, Something You Love) shift the mood and spice things up (Moose Hunting), or bring a resolution to all the threads that were pulled in the first chapter (what will happen in Take A Dip). And obviously, this is the perfect structure for mirrors and parallels which, as you may know, I'm a slut for! 😂😂😂😂

Obviously I'm not going to write only two-chapters stories from now on. The Fitzpatrick one will probs be a long one-shot, a la Four Seasons In One Day (am I just challenging myself with citing all my fics in one ask??), while the CXG crossover, which WILL be out someday, will probably be a collection of loosely related chapters.

But that's the kind of thing I currently tend to. Although who knows, maybe six months from now I'll be all about 20-chapters monster fics haha!!

  39. Do you base your characters on real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Mhhhh, not really, I guess? I mean I already base my characters on a TV show, so... And as for the (very few) OCs I wrote, I don't think I did either. Maybe I based them on other characters from other universes, but I'm not sure that I'd feel comfortable with basing anything I write on real people. Not yet, at least. I think that I wouldn't feel free to do whatever I want with such characters, it would be too... involving? Idk if that makes sense, though.

  Ask me writing things!!

[coldtomyflash]

Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?

Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^;  My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context? 

My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there. 

For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.

The long answer is - 

I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.

And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.

Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words. 

That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.

Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because - 

I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.

So that’s part of it. 

The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.

I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again. 

Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.

Anyway - I say all that because - 

I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible. 

But - 

My actual advice?

1) Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)

2) Have fun with it! 

Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.

3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space. 

When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”

If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management - 

4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs. 

Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic. 

I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?

(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)

But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.

5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help! 

Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!

6) Talk out your stories with friends! 

I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!

7) Pick your battles.

You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.

Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.

Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops