#Im tired of this step in the right direction bullshit

[ellecdc]

i just have to get out of my chest (sorry for using your board this way, ignore it if you want, but im desperly seeking for advice, (no preassure tho)).

i feel like im falling into a hole and this cycle of coming out and in is endless, im not as friendly as i used to, all my potential wasted bc im not even enjoying what im doing, my friendgropup is falling apart and everything just feels like shit bc its the end of the term and i gotta a lot of things to acomplish and im BARELY keeping my self sane (if you can call all of this bullshit that, i have the sensation that im just trying to convince myself) i YEARN for change of this shitty phase of my life, but everything its so abrupt and tiring. im fucking tired and i cant even properly sleep, at this point, i dunno what the fuck im doing.

again, im very sorry i just want to feel like someone's listening.

oh darlin', I'm so sorry things are feeling heavy right now

Life absolutely does feel really chaotic right now and I want you to know that you're not the only one feeling that way so your feelings are completely valid.

I can guarantee you that your 'potential' is not wasted; I've restarted my life/direction three times in my life and I'm still under 30 years old, and if I change another 6 or 7 by the time I'm 50, that would be okay too. Life doesn't have timelines or expiry dates; society makes us feel like we need to have out shit together from the second we step out of the womb and it is bullshit. You're allowed to not know what the hell you're doing, you're allowed to decide you've outgrown your friendships, you're allowed to decide perhaps this environment isn't for you and you're allowed to do all of those things however many times you want to.

during my first degree, I was extremely depressed (to a dangerous point), and my mum used to tell me to get through the next ten minutes. Once those ten minutes were up, make it through another ten. Then make it an hour. Then make it a day. Then make it a week.

It's sooooooo cliche but that whole "tough times don't last" is so true babes; life won't be exhausting forever.

I've also learned that sometimes, healing and growing feels like breaking at first - your life and your personality are reconfiguring and reorganizing and that's uncomfortable, but you'll be better for it.

hang in there lovie

[2xplusungood]

Im just gonna say it: My opinion is that recent "rebalances" to minecraft absolutely have sucked immensely lately, namely these two big ones:

Netherite changes: So now instead of simply mining the 24+whatever you need for tools ancient debris, you now also have to obtain netherite upgrades found in Bastion chests, which not only adds what feels like a completely unnecessary step to something that already requires a decent amount of commitment, but now gives the same problem to netherite armor that Elytras have: With limited world sizes, items that can only be collected through exploration are much more finite. Have fun no longer being able to have netherite on public servers becuase a group of the more grind-motivated players already have all the netherite upgrades in the world and have decided to gatekeep them from other people. Either that, or they are super generous with it and hand them out to everyone, which completely INVALIDATES the change's point of making netherite harder to get. In essence, it basically adds griefing potential without making it an overall better game.

Villager changes: This one I've seen coming for a long time now, ever since the Mojang devs hopped on Hermitcraft with Doc and said that villager changes were coming.

In my opinion, the biggest issue with villager trading is the random nature of trades and sitting there breaking and places lecterns to hopefully get mending. I think having a more straight forward way of getting the enchantment you want is a step in the right direction but its still probably the worst possible way it could've been implemented.

First off, you need to find a swamp biome (which holy shit I am so goddamned tired of wandering in random directions hoping to find a specific biome, not becuase I think its cool but because theres some specific bullshit I need from it before I leave it forever)

Then at the BARE MINIMUM, you now have to transport villagers TO that biome. I don't feel like I can stress enough how bad of an idea this is. Moving and transporting villagers is extremely annoying and is downright DISCOURAGED by the game (Lures do not work on them and theres no way to make them follow you becuase they are... you know... supposed to be PEOPLE and not just animals)

It was, however, by no means impossible and could still be done if you really needed to have them somewhere but it was never something you HAD to do to get specific items and if they do not add the two missing village types, you will now.

My next point is that Mojang seems to want to kill any gameplay outside of their views of how to play the game. Like I keep seeing these youtubes parroting the fact that "oh you can build these super overpowered villager breeders and converters to get super cheap trades" without actually answering "how is this a bad thing"

One of the biggest draws of minecraft is the extremely low skill floor but extremely high skill ceiling. A casual player can get all the tools they need to make whatever they like on a small to medium scale, but someone who is more willing to push minecraft to its limits are happily given the tool necessary to do so, regardless of how gamebreaking they can be.

Want infinite iron? Break the game by making a golem farm

Infinite copper: Break the game by utilizing the absolutely absurdly obscure mechanic of zombie reinforcements and then convert them to drowns.

Slime: Making a slime farm in a slime chunk or swamp using mushrooms

Need infinite TNT? Dupe it using coral, a mechanic that is 100% a bug but at this point will not be fixed (For the time being, barring any sudden changes in developer opinion) due to its millions of uses.

The point Im making is that farms not only add a means for getting a ridiculous amounts of materials to make ridiculous buildings that would otherwise take way more time, but also add a whole new layer of gameplay for the insane tech-minded crowd

Zombie discounts however? Somehow they are bad. Somehow, the ability to get cheap trades through a VERY involved process (Either you are manually infecting and curing them like a psychopath or building the infrastructure to automatically infect and cure them like a high functioning pyschopath). Its so terrible how you can... get certain enchantments easier... or get glass easier... or mid tier armor and weapons/tools? Like you don't even get these resources passively like most farms and each villager you bring into your trading hall requires some manner of time investment.

So WHY nerf villagers? Are they the most fun to deal with? Is actually doing this farms the pinnacle of gameplay? Not really, but the answer would be to streamline this process (Being able to manually cycle trades without constantly breaking the workblock would be a good start) and not just take it out back and old yeller that shit.

My tinfoil is that some Microsoft exec found out about villager farms and decided it didn't fit with the kid-friendly brand they've made.

[idpreferteadarling]

Hey there, I saw you were taking requests for fics? I would looove to see a kit connor x female reader, where she gets bullied and beaten in school and one day he finds her bleeding curled up in a corner in the art room and takes care of her?... Just some fluff and angst

pairing: Kit Connor x female reader

pronouns:you

first pov

Warning :mentions of bullying,violence,wounds,PTSD(kinda),bad words(cursing),depression.

Tag:angst,comfort,im shitty in tagging sorry,kitconnor hasn't been famous in this fic,he’s a highschooler,he’s a famous guy in school though,alternative universe.

Another day,another misery. You slowly woke up to the sunlight and the sound of bird chipping. As beautiful and romantic as that sounded,your life was the complete opposite. “Ughhhh”,you groaned into your pillow,wishing you hadn’t woken up,wishing you hadn’t been able to wake up ever again. You heard your mom calling from downstairs,so you tried to pull yourself together and got ready for school. “I only have 4 lessons today,so it should be quick,just try to be invisible y/n. Just don't make eye contact,don’t breathe,don’t exist” said your brain. School sucks for most people,but for you,it’s nothing other than hell itself. People either pick on you, take your money for lunch,and when you tried making your own lunch to avoid bringing money,they “accidentally” bumped into you or even took your lunch after beating you up for not having any money. You’re sick and tired of this bullshit,but even the teachers turned a blind eye on you,so you gave up and just became their punchbag. What a life,right? After getting off the bus,you started walking into school. You didn't bring any food for today,hoping that they would eventually get bored with you if you hadn't gotten anything on you. As you were walking in the hallway,you saw them,the girls that always bullied you. They were giggling and laughing,hanging out with some lads by the lockers. They were twirling their hair,flirting while dying to get the attention of Kit Connor,the almighty. Everyone at “your school” knows Kit Connor,even the new guys,even the birds and the tree,even the atmosphere knows Kit Connor. He’s so well-known for his charming smile and cute baby face(as the girls put it),not to mention that great body that makes all the girls weak on their knees. He's famous and he’s as friendly and kind as it can be,so he was loved by everyone,even the strictest teacher adored him. Thank god you didn't have to pass them on the way to your class or you would rather hide in the bathroom until the bell rang. Scared of being spotted,you didn't dare to look up in their direction. “Keep walking and don't look up” your heart screaming inside you,and when you finally got to make a right turn,you unconsciously looked up, only to catch a glimpse of those beautiful hazel brown eyes that felt like they could stare into your soul. You halted halfway,frozen in the spot,Kit fucking Connor was making eye contact with you,without even blinking or looking away. Panic started to rise in your head,scared that the rest of them would look in his direction and see you,you broke the intense eye contact and practically ran to the classroom. Once you made it to the classroom,you settled down and started focusing on your lesson to somewhat ease the panic,hoping that it was just your imagination. *time skip*

The bell rang,indicating that it was lunchtime,you gathered your stuff and were ready to make a run to the bathroom and spend the whole break there to be safe from those mean people. Just as you stepped out of the classroom,you saw the bullies standing there,smiling like some maniacs,they asked singingly “where are you going,y/n? I thought we were going to have some fun meeting at lunch”. “Im so fucked” were all you can think of. They dragged you to the nearest empty bathroom,and the torture began. They punched you in the face,kicked your stomach,slapped you until your cheeks bleed,pulled your head to make you look at them,the world was spinning,you feel like you’re going to puke,hopefully it’s blood this time. But you didn't, your body went numb,tears stopped streaming down your stinging cheeks as you had no strength left even for crying. “Uh oh,I think someone’s bored. Why don't we do something new? What do you think girls?” You heard one of them saying but you couldn’t see since your vision had gone blurry. The rest giggled and held me down while one of them pulled out a razor. That’s when you started to really panic, you screamed and begged for their mercy,but they didn’t stop,they never did. You could feel the cold blade ghosting on your belly,and she made a shallow but long cut along your ribs. The bell rang again,and they cursed for sometime before running to their class,leaving you there,cold and bleeding on the floor. You couldn’t lay there since they could come back,so you dragged yourself to the art room,the only room that was empty at the time,and you know the bully wasn’t smart enough to figure out you were there of all places. Finally, you made it to the room,curled up into a ball in that spot like you always did after whenever they beat you up. Tears were streaming down your face,you wanted to scream but you couldn’t make a sound,maybe because the cut was too painful,almost as painful as your heart was feeling. Lost in your own pool of misery,you didn’t hear the door being opened,as well as didn’t realize the other person’s existence. “Are-are you okay?” A warm low voice came out of nowhere,causing you to jump up,wincing because of the wound. You tried to see the other person’s face through your teary eyes,and you realized it was no other than Kit Connor.

You snarled,slightly terrified “what do you want?”. The boy seemed confused,you could see the horror in his eyes when he saw the wound covering your face. He asked,his voice light and slightly shaky “oh my god,what happened to you? Do you need to call 911,do you need me to call the teachers,are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”. You were surprised by his kindness,but you don’t trust him enough,you snapped back “im FINE! Leave me alone,im fine!” He looked at you like you were some kind of alien. “Fine? What do you mean fine? You looked like you just fought a bloody crocodile. And is that bleeding?” He pointed to you stomach,where you were hiding the cut with your hand but some blood managed to smear out of the shirt. “It’s none of your business,go away” you replied,sitting back to your spot. There were confusion and worry written on his face,but he left,just like you said,just like everyone else. You were alone again,you couldnt stop the tears,the wound no longed hurt but it was your feelings that sting the most. Just as you were wiping away your tears, you heard the door opened again,you snapped your head up,ready to run if it was one of the bullies. But it was just Kit,with a first-aid “kit” (haha get it?) in his hands. He approached you slowly,trying his best to not appear to be scary or having any other intention than helping you. You were cautious with every one of his actions,but you were too tired to even lift your fingers so you just let him do anything he wanted. Much to your surprise,he actually started to take care of your wounds. He didn't say anything so you both felt into a weirdly comfortable silence as he worked his way to your face. When he was finished with your face,his hand lingered on your belly,he looked into your eyes,asking for your permission. You wanted to say no,to tell him to go away,but you nodded anyway,so he lifted your shirt a bit,brows furrowing into a knit as he investigated your cut. You hissed at the new sensation of the cold cream,but then bite your tongue and looked at him,silently telling him to continue,and he did. After what felt like centuries,he closed the lid and put the kit away. You expected him to turn away and leave,but he didn’t. He just sat there,right beside you,not asking anything,which you very appreciated. You felt your muscles start to relax and you slowly drifted to sleep. As you closed your eyes,you fell onto something kind of hard but soft at the same time,but you were too tired to figure out what it was. You woke up to the last bell,with Kit nowhere to be found. Of course he left,why on earth would he want to stay with some random beaten-up girl? You stumbled to get on your feet,and then you headed home.

*time skip*

Carefully laying down on your bed,you finally relaxed,consumed by the peaceful atmosphere in your safe space,when your phone started to buzz. A notification? But your parents were right outside the door,who could it be? You unlocked your phone,opened your DM to find a stranger had messaged you.

Stranger: Hi!

Y/n: ummm who might you be?

Stranger: oh right,sorry. It’s me,Kit,from the art class this morning?

Paralyzed on your bed,your brain started screaming “omg oh my lord it’s Kit Connor how the fuck does he have my number what the hell does he want from me omg”

Impatient with your slow reply,Kit continued

Kit: “i’d like to be your friend,if you’d let me”

What the actual fuck is happening with you?

[musselini]

its so hard to live when someone you love leaves you but isn’t quite gone

they’re friends with your other friends but not with you

they’re family to your family but not to you

idk im feeling sappy on this Monday night.

I guess im just tired of feeling used. what did I do wrong in my life that I got thrown out like a toy. how can I be better. I dont know how long I can bare asking that if someone’s definition of better is different than mine. I dont want to be passive and non aggressive. agreeing with everything anyone says and only arguing in a way that benefits them. I want to be me I want to have my own opinions and thoughts and not feel so wrong about that. I think my brother really scarred me. maybe I knew that. maybe I saw that coming. I knew leaving my dad would be fucked but I didn’t think my brother leaving me would be so. detrimental. I don’t know if i’ll ever have the right relationship with men. if i’ll always need some validation from them. some sign that what I am is Right. it breaks my heart to see myself like this. to feel anger when I look at pictures of my own nephew. and yet why shouldn’t I? when You Shut Me Out. when You Left Me. you grew up and left me in the dust and then laugh when you turned back and I was still standing. angry that I didn’t choke on your dust. but I never will. I won’t. I don’t think that I am capable. not now. not after what i’ve been through. if i decided to not give up. that was not a easy decision to make. what I didn’t realize is that meant facing the people who gave up on me. and its not like my dad didn’t fight for me, but he lost me as soon as he punished me for being myself. He made me hate myself. and for what? existing? I have tried so fucking hard to scrape by, knowing full well I am capable of so much more, all because I felt I didn’t deserve a life of good. I failed college. I failed high school. I hurt people so they would hurt me back. I fell in love with lying and hiding and dancing and singing and the stage. I chose to push myself in a direction I knew would get me hurt all because I thought thats what I deserved. because that is what You Told Me I deserved. I was a child. a fucking child. and you chose that time with me to tear me down. why? were you scared? did you see my potential? when Kronos ate his sons did he know it would fail him in the end? did icarus love the sun because he knew the power to fly was too strong? why are you my father if you are not my friend. why are you my brother if you aren’t my family. why are you my lover if you aren’t my fan. I am a person. I am a human. I have worth. I love myself. I do. and I deserve more than this. and much much more than you. so thank you. thank you for being bullshit. thank you for moving on after hurting me and letting me run rampant. while you grew and flourished and lived without me I failed and I hurt and I cried. and in the end I will learn more from it. you fail and blame others rather than look towards yourself. I looked towards myself before I even took the wrong step and yet you judge me? I am a free women. I am loved. I am strong. I am powerful I am beautiful I am smart. I am better than you and it is not hatred in my heart. at least. I try for it not to be. but it is anger and anger is fuel and i’ve been fire long enough that i’ve figured out how not to burn out. all I have to do is feed. and you’re starting to look suspiciously like oxygen to me.

[hobisstar]

You Mean The World To Me

| HII! this is a 3rd part to You Are Coming To Smackdown One Way Or Another. i havent had the energy to write so please bare with me.

Tag List: @broken-lunatic @windhamsrotunda @itjazzbicch @lalaooopsie @starwithaheart @pitlissa22 @ti777any

this is pretty short but HEY LOL AT LEAST ITS OUT

warnings: cheating, mentions of cheating, roman being a dick, swear words. roman trying to guilt trip. ROMAN IS AN ASS IN HERE SO YOUR WARNING IS RIGHT HERE!

it’s the new year! Y/N is womens champion on RAW after she beat Becky at Day 1.

Roman was happy but still felt as if the same could’ve happened at smackdown. he wants his girl closer, he misses her but to be truly honest he hasn’t been the best boyfriend either.

he’s been avoiding her and of course Y/N being even more stubborn she avoided him back. she doesn’t understand him anymore, it’s been months since the draft and Roman still can’t understand that she isn’t leaving RAW.

Current day, Y/N has been hanging with Becky and Rollins a lot more lately on raw. Roman hasn’t spoken to her and she isn’t going to force him. she sees this as the last straw of the relationship and maybe they’ve just out grown eachother.

It was the weekend and she usually practices at this time of day but something besides roman has been bothering her. the rumors.

rumor has it Roman has been sleeping around with someone since she has left Smackdown. she’s not aware of who but people say it’s Sasha or Charlotte. she had enough of hearing about it so after practice she was definitely going to see if this rumor had any source to it.

“alright! you did good today same time sunday and we can get you up to date before Rumble.” y/n nodded to her trainer and got her things together to go back to her shared apartment with roman.

walking outside she saw roman’s truck outside her practice gym and sighed. “great he’s here.” she mumbled. she looks around and saw roman kissing sasha.

as much as she wished the rumors weren’t true that right there just proved everything. as soon as she looked away she saw Roman look directly in her direction and started opening the door. “ Y/N- princess wait-“ he said getting out the door. he got to her in time and tried to stop her from getting inside her car.

“roman, if i were you i’d get your cheating hands off my fucking car.” she looked at him with anger. “No, we need to talk.” he said and opened the back seat and pushed her in soon sliding in.

“ WE? Since when was this relationship even an two way? you’ve never included me in shit since the draft and now i see why.

you’ve been putting your cock in other bitches while i work my ass off to keep a smile on your face. if you are going to cheat dont do some dumb shit in broad fucking daylight.”

y/n was livid. she’s had enough of roman’s bullshit and it was time he finally got her true feelings on what she really felt.

“ Y/N, she kissed me first. i swear to you i never touched her before that. you have all the right to be pissed at me and want me out of your sight. i understand but-“

“ it’s always a but with you Roman! But what about me. But what about our future of running the company together. but i need you. but i love you.

but i miss you. but but but! i’m tired of all the lies you’ve told to me. i don’t give a damn if you haven’t touched her before then. i saw you kissing her NOW! we are done.

i thought maybe we could work it out but the way you just did that oh that was like god slapping a fat yes on my forehead. you’ve been doing whatever since when? Last year roman! last fucking year. i’m done get the hell out my car and never show your damn face again.” she got up out the back seat and went around to open his side of the car. she needed him out before she said anything else.

“ fine, fine. i deserve that.” he got up. “ But im telling you this now that i’m not leaving you. i can’t bare having to actually loose you completely. Baby girl, you are my world. the step mother to my kids, they love you. I love you! you can’t just walk out on us. please y/n..” he said standing infront of her.

she never answered and won’t. “ Fine you wont answer. Cool, Great.” he said walking away going to his truck. Y/N without hesitation closed the door and got in the front seat driving off instantly. Roman sat there in disbelief. are they officially over? did he really let his love of his life walk out on him and his family? “ No No, Roman you got this. you need her. she needs time to think about everything. give her space and time to thin- smh space literally what i’ve been doing since october. she stuck by me even when i wanted to drag her to smackdown so i can have my lover near by, and i throw it away because of temptation? what type of ass am i?” he leaned back in the driver’s seat and sighed trying to keep the tears from running.

it was over. they were over. of course here was the next big step, getting her things out the apartment without roman being near to talk her ear off.

Monday would do but she has work so she would have to either go today or tomorrow.

“shit” she mumbled sighing loudly. she started her car and pulled off going in the direction of the shared apartment. Y/N was aware the kids weren’t home they were with roman’s mother this weekend.

once she pulled up she got out and went straight for the door. Yeah, Roman wasn’t there but she knew he would be back soon. She went up to the room and started packing her belongings. Slowly but at good speed.

She was so busy packing she didn’t hear roman’s car pull up or him opening the door or walking up the stairs. “Babygirl? We really need to talk..” he said which snapped her focus back to reality. His voice made her jump a little but nothing to make her scream.

“Roman Reigns we have nothing to talk about. You… You are the worst person ever. The fact that i was gonna really try to come see you this week and that is how i see you in after what months? i have nothing more that i want to say to you” Y/N looked at him then tried to get back to packing but he closed the closet door and stood in front of it.

“ Babe… i know what everything might’ve look like but i promise i want no one but you. Y/N L/N i want you and only one. My babies love you and that makes me love, want and need you even more. i’m not in the right mind without you baby and you know that. i fucked up big time and if i could i’d erase that mistake. just please, please don’t leave me, or the kids” Roman got on his knees and grabbed her hand.

“Roman, I….

to be continued…

—————————————————————

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

HI MY LITTLE BABIES I HAVENT UPDATED IN FOREVER AND THATS BECAUSE LIFE JUST KICKED ME IN THE ASS HARSHLY FOR AWHILE BUT I GOT MY LIFE TOGETHER AND NOW IM BETTER THAN EVER BABYYYYYY!!!!

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

[in-ky]

Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!

Savior - Negan Killer AU

Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol

A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words

"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.

"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.

"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."

"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."

"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.

"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.

"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.

There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.

"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.

"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.

"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."

"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.

"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.

~~~

"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.

"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."

"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.

"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."

"Do you kill everyone?"

"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.

"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.

"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"

"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.

"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.

"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."

"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."

"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.

"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."

"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"

~~~

Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.

"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.

"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."

"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."

"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.

"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"

"Sounds good."

~~~

I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster  and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.

Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.

Suddenly, my door opened.

"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"

"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"

"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"

"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.

"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"

"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.

"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.

"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.

"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.

"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."

"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.

"Yes, what, princess?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.

We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.

"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.

"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.

"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.

"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"

"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.

"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.

"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.

"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."

[sindulgence66]

MC wants to leave

Request from @imamonster456

Summary: After the brothers found out MC was Lilith’s descendant, MC slowly started feeling more like a replacement instead of just being themselves. Loneliness started to consume them, and one day they finally decide to just leave, without consulting any of the brothers before.

Warnings: Angst, cursing

Characters: 7 brothers, GN!MC

THIS WAS GOING TO BE PURELY SHORT HEADCANONS BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Lucifer

It never crossed his mind that he could be causing you so much pain. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He hated seeing you hurting for whatever reason, but this time… he couldn’t even notice how much pain and discomfort he was causing you.

A tiny voice at the back of his head started yelling at him in an attempt to make him notice; but it didn’t happen

Not until one night he walked up to your room after you didn’t show up to dinner for the fourth time in that week and he saw you packing up your belongings

Almost scared to ask, he spoke up in an almost broken voice “MC, what’s going on?”

You didn’t answer, and he was taken aback at this. He hesitantly walked up to your figure and tried to reach out to you, freezing when he heard your voice telling him to stop.

“Just stop, Lucifer. Please.”

You sobbed, and he simply stood in his place, looking at you without understanding a single thing

“Did someone hurt you? Did any of my bro-…”

“Cut of the bullshit”

Silence filled the room as you turned around to face him, your reddened eyes staring directly into his

“I will not tolerate being a replacement for Lilith. Lilith this, Lilith that… what about me? Ever since you guys found out I was her descendant you haven’t done anything but treat me as if I was her!”

“MC…”

He wasn’t really sure wether to be angry at you for rising your tone against him, or to be ashamed for being called out on his behaviour

“You were my happy place, Lucifer. I was so happy with you and your brothers… I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and you do this?”

Silence filled the room, and it was only broken by the sound of your suitcase closing.

Mammon

He was so excited to go to your room to show you how much he had won while gambling, but his plans were shattered the moment he saw Lucifer there too.

And when he noticed you had packed all your belongings? He gulped audibly as confusion took over his body

“O-oi, what’s going on here? Where are ya goin’, human?”

“Please move, Mammon”

“MC?”

He locked his eyes with yours, trying to understand the situation. However, in his mind, there was no reason for you to want to leave them, right?

“Wait, I’m sure whatever the problem is it’s not that important!”

“Not that important…?” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. How could they be so cruel?

He remained silent, not quite getting why you were so upset.

“Is it not that important that I stopped being myself to you all? Is it not important that you started treating me so differently ever since you discovered I was her descendant?” Your voice raised it’s tone unconsciously “It feels like I’m dead for you! I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

Guilt.

That was the only thing Mammon could feel at that moment. He was so excited about having a part of Lilith with them again that he completely forgot about you.

“So please, just let me go, Mammon. I can’t stand living here any longer.”

“No! C’mon MC, we can get over this, right? You don’t have to leave!”

Leviathan

A bit reluctantly, he came out of his room after he heard yelling coming from your room.

He thought it was probably just another stupid fight with Mammon for something he had done.

Oh, how wrong he was.

“I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

His heart shrunk instantly when he heard those words coming out of your mouth. Soon, and attracted as well by the yelling, the rest of his brothers showed up too.

Gathering all the courage he had in his body, he stepped into the room and spoke up.

“MC, we know that, it’s just-…”

“You know that? You do? Then it’s even worse!.” You laughed, tears starting to form in your eyes. “You know I’m not her, yet you still have even called me by her name. I’ve done nothing but try to help your petty asses to get along and be a real family and this is what I get? I’m tired of this. I hate this.”

Levi shut his mouth. He didn’t expect you to snap against him too, but he deserved it. They all did.

“Do you have any idea about how I’ve been feeling because of you? Do you realize how hurt I am? You replaced me in less than a day! Satan is the only one who hasn’t been a dick!”

Satan

Rage.

Against his brothers, against himself for not stopping them…

He just felt rage.

At that moment, he loathed his brothers, and Lilith too. He loathed them for making their human go through so much pain.

Him being the only one who never had contact with Lilith, of course he was enraged. The MC wanted to leave because their sorry excuses of brothers couldn’t get their shit together and made them feel like they were just a replacement?

Slowly, he walked up to your trembling figure, his arms extended to show you he meant no harm.

Without hesitation, you hugged him tightly and hid your face against his chest, wanting to disappear from the sight of the brothers.

“Are you realizing just now all the harm you’ve caused them?” Satan snarled at them, protecting you in his tight embrace

Asmodeus and Mammon made the attempt to get close to you, but he immediately stopped them. In his eyes, they had no right to want to fix things at this point.

“I hate you… I hate you…” You sobbed against the chest of the fourth born, your words directed to the other six brothers that had broken you while the blond rubbed circles on your back.

Asmodeus

“Darling, we had no idea…”

“EXACTLY!” The sudden yelling made him take a step back.

“You didn’t even notice… that’s exactly the problem…” Your voice cracked, as you finally got the necessary strength to look at them once again, tears streaming down your face.

He lowered his gaze to meet the floor, feeling his own eyes starting to gather tears.

“I’m sorry…”

By now, he had been the only one who actually apologized.

“Take me out of here, Satan, please” your broken voice rang painfully in his ears, and all he wanted to do was hug you and kiss away all the tears

But he knew he fucked up

They all did

They were so happy to have a part of their little sister back with them, they forgot you were… you. That you weren’t really a part of her, nor were a replacement for her.

Beelzebub

Probably, the one that was feeling the worst along with Belphie.

They were the closest with Lilith, so when they found out…

Happiness had blinded them, and now they were paying the price.

He didn’t even talk; he felt like he had no right to do so. And probably it was true.

Maybe he and Belphie were the main culprits of the entire situation.

He deeply appreciated you, how could he do this to you?

“MC…” Your name escaped his lips, and seeing you shake your head just by listening to his voice broke his heart.

“No.”

…

“Don’t even say anything.”

Belphegor

He knew it was his fault.

You had all the right to hate him.

Not only did he kill you, but it was also his fault that everyone in the house started treating you differently

If he hadn’t killed you, would’ve they discovered about you and Lilith?

“And you…” When your gaze landed onto him, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You killed me because you missed your sister. Then you learned I was related to her, and suddenly you were so nice to me, even though you never apologized about murdering me?”

He took a step back, trying to hide himself behind Beel.

“I will never forgive you, Belphegor.”

“MC, I…”

“Please, just take me out of here” You sobbed, and Satan helped you without hesitation, leaving the six brothers alone in your room, knowing that it was too late for them to do something to fix things.

[thirstystarkey]

HATE CAN SOUND LIKE LOVE • JJ MAYBANK

Summary: JJ and Y/N have always fought, since everyone can remember. They both have short tempers and a endless love for surf and chaos. But what happens when they have to pretend to be a couple? Well.. people always said that hate can sound like love sometimes.

Warnings: Mention of underage drinking, drugs, minor violence, some smutty scenarios and a ton of sexual induendos, JJ being a hot idiot and Y/N a wild girl brat

CHAPTER 06

While the HMS pogue cut it’s way through the river all the pogues, except JJ and Y/N, chatted happily sharing some cool beers Kie had previously brought with her.

“What’s going on?” Kiara asked her friends due to the strange silence between them. She was used to break their fights and now they didn’t even talked.

“Nothing.” Y/N started, a bit annoyed. “Aside from my best friends basically kidnapping me.” Y/N looked at JJ who agreed with his head at her saying. “What did you said to my mom?”

“Oh that..” Kiara changed her body language, automatically looking over at the other boys who didn’t seem very excited to explain either.

“Before they start, I just want to say I wasn’t participating I was just supervising!” Pope said. Raising both hands in the air.

“What could you possibly say to my mother that is worse than what you already done to us?” Y/N asked, afraid of the answer.

“We said you and JJ went on a date.” John B announced fast.

“What?” The red head girl gasped.

“That’s not all we said.” Kiara began.

“Are you guys insane?” JJ manifested.

“They are!” Pope pointed at John B and Kiara.

“We also told your mother you were dating JJ.” John B tried not to laugh.

“I’m going to kill everyone of you while you all sleep.” Y/N was beyond pissed. “I bet my mom didn’t believe that bullshit.”

“Well, she actually did.” Pope said. “She even said she already suspected it.”

JJ and Y/N shared a disgusted look between them. The idea of them dating seemed so surreal to Y/N she almost felt sick to her stomach. The idea of dating Y/N scared JJ, he never had a actual serious girlfriend and he knew Y/N didn’t do the whole one night stand stuff. They were polar opposites.

In the next few days Y/N was on a mission to avoid her mom. She slept at Kiara’s home most of the days and when she eventually went home Y/N didn’t stayed long enough for her mom to ask any questions or even have the talk. Y/N never took any boys home, no one ever stood a chance with her for she always thought they were stupid and didn’t care about the same things as her. They didn’t see her for her but rather for her looks and Y/N loathed them for that. The other boys saw her as a price, a price they could never claim for Y/N was no trophy. She was free, she was a force of nature, she had the ocean’s soul in her spirit.

“Hello? Y/N?” Kiara called while snapping two fingers in her best friends face.

They were all at the beach enjoying a hot late afternoon after a surf session but Y/N’s mind was off and far from being chill. She had a storm called JJ Maybank living inside her mind creating a itch she couldn’t scratch. All the looks she receive around the island made her want to fight them for believing in her best friends lie.

“Wha-”

Y/N wasn’t able to finish her sentence because JJ picked her up throwing her in his shoulder easily, running at the waves direction. She screamed loud enough to catch everyone’s attention, her friends just laughed at the view.

When the cold water hit her body she swore it felt like tiny needles poking her.

“JJ why would you do this?” Y/N fumed.

“Because we need to talk, girlfriend.” He tried to keep her in place while she tried to run back to her towel.

“Fuck off and don’t call me that.” Y/N pulled JJ’s hair making him let her go off his grip.

Back at the sand her friends were laughing at the top of her lungs pointing at her and the blue eyed boy and that alone made her angry. They were having so much fun with her situation and she wanted to kick their asses.

“Even if you two were dating I bet it wouldn’t last for a month.” Pope said trying to catch his breath with a hand on his toned chest.

“A month? I wouldn’t give these two more than a week, with luck.” Kiara made her point.

“I’m done with this, I’m going home.” Y/N was livid, at the point off almost crying with anger. “Have fun.”

“And your mom?” John B inquired, they knew she was avoiding her mom for dear life.

“I don’t care.” She mumbled. “I will deal with her.” She said shrugging her shoulders. “But I can’t deal with this bullshit now.” Y/N pointed at her friends.

When she finished packing her things JJ tried to stop her but he couldn’t catch her in time to talk to her, so he decided to call it a day as well making his way back to John B’s chateau.

Once home the redheaded girl thanked god her mom wasn’t home, Tina had left her a note.

“I’m working a late shift don’t wait for me, we still need to talk about JJ, I love you honey.”

A loud sigh was heard from her, after reading the note Y/N made her way to the bathroom, she needed a warm bath to relax from before. When she was done and the water had run cold Y/N stepped out and dressed some comfy clothes, her plan for the night was to lay in her bed and ignore her problems. Pretending like she didn’t even existed.

But the girl was in a bad luck strike for her phone rang with a buzz not long after she started watching Gossip Girl on netflix.

With was a text message from JJ, which was weird, they never texted. They only texted each other to mock one another or when he sent her memes making fun of her, which she secretly laughed at and sometimes saved them. Something she would never admit to anyone.

JJ 🏄🏼‍♂️: Meet me at our beach in 15, we need to talk. I’m serious now.

JJ was never serious so she knew something was going on. She didn’t knew why she jumped right off her bed first thing when she finished reading the text message, she put on her black vans and grabbed her oversized jean jacket along with her keys on her way out.

As soon as Y/N’s had arrived at the beach both her and JJ surfed, the reason he called it their beach, she saw JJ standing there, with his back against the lifeguard house, in his hand a lit joint.

“Why did you call me here JJ?” Y/N voice was soft, she was actually tired. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Neither do I.” The boy agreed. “But I think we should get back at them for this little stupid prank.” JJ suggests.

They sat together at the steps and JJ offered to share his joint with the red head girl, who normally didn’t smoke but it had been a long day so she gladly took his offer, immediately surprise because JJ weed was strong.

“What’s the plan?” She asked after freeing the smoke from her lips, passing the joint to JJ.

“We should let everyone think we are actually dating, for a month.” JJ said serious. He wasn’t joking.

“You mean, date date?”

“Yes smartass, date date.” JJ giggled at her confusion.

“You’re insane.” The girl blurred out. “Last week we couldn’t stand being close and now you want to pretend we are together.” She pointed back and forth between them. “Actual dating, as in you are my boyfriend.” She laughed.

If there was one thing Y/N and JJ had in common it was their pride. Both of them being to stubborn to lose a bet or to let anyone say they couldn’t do a certain thing. But they never thought the pogues would use that in their disadvantage.

“So what you say, frenemies baby?” JJ held his hand her way.

“Frenemies.” They said in unison.

“But meet me at my place tomorrow, we need to figure this thing out.” Y/N warned JJ while getting up.

“Is lunch included in that talk?” JJ questioned with a raised brow.

“I can make something.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Then it’s a date babe.” JJ winked at her blowing her a kiss but Y/N raised her middle finger at him.

Tag list 💞

@thatsonobx @starkeybaby @this-is-bigger-than--us @ahhireallydontknow @tomzfrog @alotbnouf @outerbankstings @jj-maybank-stan @jellyfishbeansontoast @rafecamerondeservesbetter @im-a-strange-thing @tangledinsparkles @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @helplessquotess @tembo-ndoto @poguebx @k-k0129 @pleaseminho @obxmxybxnk @stilinskiandsuch @lcil123 @fandom-phaser @sexualparkour @myrandom-fandomlife @lasnaro @kristineee-obx @sw-eat-ing @strangebirds2 @kiarascarreras @jjswhore @milamaybank @marveloucnco @downbytheouterbanks @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @annedub @drizzlethatfalls @tovvaf @drewswannabegirl @whoreforouterbanks @newhopenessie @maybebanks @poguesrforlife @shawnssongs @wastedheartcth @rudyypankow @danicarosaline

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

list of hotlines

coping with depression

coping with suicidal thoughts

so you feel like shit?

template for creating a safety plan

[spade-riddles]

Sorry mate TTA but I'm gonna need more cuz it's easy & convenient for you to say all that AFTER the fact. Hell any one of us couldve sent in that ask. Perhaps ur legit but I still feel like ur just another hater making up stuff to make us look stupid.

Anonymous asked:

And we should care, why, Tea Time Anon? I'm not seeing any reason to continue supporting those two women or to put any faith into what you say.

Anonymous asked:

I really really really hope that that teatime anon isnt giving us false hopes. Like im already at the edge, one more step and im out. But right now im taking 2 steps back and hang around… again.

Anonymous asked:

Well! It's a REALLY good thing for the girls that buying out of contracts is a thing, then, isn't it!

Because them doing it ASAP is the ONLY thing that will make it so that the number of people that will support them as a out couple ISN'T so low that you can count them on one hand! 😒🚬

Anonymous asked:

Yeah sure like she moved the re-release of her most successful and most anticipated album ever *at the last minute* because of Karlie. As if she was ever gonna incorporate Karlie while married to a Kushner (the divorce wouldn't have come right away). I used to believe so much in tta. But the timeline of events they describe doesn't make sense. Am not falling for the "pivot" excuse anymore.

Anonymous asked:

“I think you all may have guessed that a PR divorce was planned and cancelled because of his Instagram deletion and subsequent reactivation.” No offense to you SR, but this sounds really manipulative. Make us feel good for something we indeed were assuming to gain our trust in order to then excuse their inconsistencies. Also even if 1989 were to be released on May, Speak Now was never gonna be released in July as they had said. Too short of a rollout for 1989. Explain that TeaTimeAnon. 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous asked:

Renegotiate!? Come on. Nope. Taylor better carry on, cause that is bullshit if true. Hell nah. Karlie is ridiculous to keep agreeing to shit—and Taylor is ridiculous to keep going along with it. Nope. Sorry. 😏

I do feel like something was coming in May for sure. I'm not sure what's going on, but things are for sure off. And it is weird that she all of a sudden announces RED 5 months early after dropping 1989 merch. Cool, no problem, but a weird rollout.

Anonymous asked:

Uh why does KK need money from jerk if she has Taylor? The whole she needs his money thing which is why she’s staying is getting to be an old excuse.

Anonymous asked:

There's no way the jerklie divorce was scheduled for the end of May. The end of the contract maybe. But there's absolutely no way they'd be getting divorced 3 months after the birth of the baby. It would have drawn too much unnecessary attention.

Anonymous asked:

Lmao tea time is just saying what we’ve all been saying. They are NOT legit. Stop trying to convince us that they are. They sound like regular fans taking a guess. Enough

Anonymous asked:

Sigh. I am a long time Kaylor and I really don’t find 🍵 credible. There was nothing in that explanation that we haven’t already speculated about at length on here. Unless there’s some strong corroboration of why they’re a trustworthy source, I really don’t need anymore “tea”.

Anonymous asked:

I mean come on. Would a real insider reveal so many details about Karlie's contract which is STILL ongoing in a place that is HEAVILY monitored by Jerk's team? Are we really that naive to believe that someone is offering such precious info without any care? TTA is either a troll or worse... they're dangling fake hope again right when everyone has started saying how sick and tired they are and how pointless it is to still support them. TTA must prove themselves, or not bother us ever again.

Anonymous asked:

Some of what TTA is saying makes sense... But here's my big question: Is Karlie sad and blue every day for months like Taylor talked about in Hoax? Or is she willingly prolonging her contract, pushing Taylor's re-recording schedule, and making it harder to untangle her and her kid from the K*shners? Both cannot be true. I'm not a big Karlie fan rn, but I think it's the first option. Also, TTA said 1989 TV would drop 5/14. So K renegotiated and T pushed 1989 in under 2 weeks? I'm skeptical.

Anonymous asked:

… so a “PR divorce” was scheduled for May, but instead we get Karlie w Joshua’s mom walking the baby and Karlie posing for pics in their stunt apt and a Father’s Day post? Among other pap walks? Literally makes NO sense.

Anonymous asked:

If anything is worth staying tied to the K*shners when you had a chance to be free, I have no respect left.

Anonymous asked:

can someone clarify what the 3rd part of tta's message?? taylors sm, interviews have been messy? like no?? that was(is) karlie?? the only "mess" on her part are that she sent out clues for multiple albums, and even that I refuse to believe that such a meticuluous planner as taylor did not take absolutely every factor in consideration, especially one as big as jerk renemwing their contract or whatever exactly went down. here im assuming that jerk had the power to single handedly renew [PART 1]

the contract, and that the term 're NEGOTIATE' is used loosely, because what could the kushners possibly have to offer to karlie other than money- black, dishonest, taxpayers' money- even her rep isnt being helped by the kushners, so why would she agree to extending their stupid skit that no one signed up for? and taylor has more than enough money to last 7 lifetimes. and if jerk had the power to renew the contract without karlies involvement, there is just no way that taylor didnt [PART 2/4]

take that into consideration. Also, the 22 weeks and men's day thing is too perfect to be planned on a whim, but it is possible that like some anon had previously said, it was planned for 2022, so we can overlook that. but otherwise, there are only so many possibilities: 1. 1989 was postponed because karlie DECIDED to continue playing house with the kushners for money. in which case, either a) taylor supported her (seems unlikely but still possible) or b) they broke up because of this [PART3/4]

2. karlie and jerk are together for real and have a kid together and karlie refused to being a part of 1989 tv era because she doesnt want kaylor rumours again, which i agree would be unpleasant if she really is with jerk, taylor is or is not with joe, and karlies refusal caused 1989 to pivot, and all of us kaylors are delusional to think there is anything more between them. <PART 4/5>,

3. karlie is, infact, bearding with jerk but kaylor broke up a while ago and taylor doesnt want to relive 1989 tv so soon after her breakup because it would remind her of karlie. 4. they broke up sometime in the past and taylor asked her now ex to be part of the 1989 tv era and she refused. 5. tta is a fraud. these are really the only situations i think are plausible, others are free to add more and share your thoughts on these. <PART 4/5>

also, another thing that has me doubting the credibility of tta is how direct their messages are. there is a chance that spade is/was legit because they spoke the same language as taylor- one of codes and puzzles. but tta's messages are wayy too straightforward to be approved by taylor i think. so either, as another anon requested, show some proof, like maybe a single release date for red tv or something, or stop sending supposed "tips" <PART 5/5>

Anonymous asked:

Convenient that TTA shows up after Red TV has been announced. Taylor has been dropping hints about all her albums since before May. Red tv being next makes sense and there is Easter eggs and evidence that was the case. Also: if negotiations happened at start of May, why was KK dropping 1989 hints as recent as last week. It’s doesn’t make sense.

Anonymous asked:

TTA: What about Speak Now TV coming out on July 9th, like you said last time? That album has nothing to do with Karlie. Taylor said pretty clearly that the next album she's releasing is Red TV. So what's your explanation for Speak Now's release being pushed to some unspecified date?

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet-chapter 23: patronus

All chapters

Chapter 22

a/n comment yalls thoughts on the story so far and what you think about the choice of patronus! My patronus is a boar and I hate it lol! Let me know what yalls patronuses are!

I began to turn around to head back, there was no way I'd go in there, it's called forbidden for a reason. I looked down at the map as I began to walk away and it started to disintegrate in my hands and crumpled up into ash. "What!? Come on!" I said as it blew out of my hand. "Ughhhh!" I said slapping my forehead, this is bullshit. I looked back at the forest and walked up to the edge of it again.

 I squinted looking into it, "Lumos" I said, raising my wand and holding it up. I looked in trying to see as far as possible into it, but it was almost pitch black. I looked behind me at the castle and back to the forest, tapping my leg thinking about what to do, I mean what if someone's in trouble and they need my help. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked back once more, when I turned to look in the forest again I noticed a green footprint on the ground. I walked up closer to it and another illuminated after it, "No I shouldn't this is crazy '' I said looking at the footprint, the only sound I could hear was the wind in the trees. I walked a step closer and another set appeared after that. I mean if the person really didn't care if I came they wouldn't have done all this right? I cautiously stepped forward, now entering into the forest. I'd been in here before for Care of Magical Creatures, but it was daytime, and I was with a class and a teacher. I slowly began to follow the footprints holding up my wand and looking around in all directions for anything that may come at me. The footprints led me for a while taking turns and going over hills. I could barely see where I came in at this point and was growing more afraid by the minute. I looked around and didn't see anything except the trees and branches. I stopped for a moment and the footprints stopped as well, and noticed they would disappear behind me, I couldn't see the entrance anymore and started feeling very paranoid, my heart was beating faster and I started taking deep breaths to try and calm my nerves. I decided this was stupid and turned back to head out but heard a faint voice, I stopped for a moment and decided I'd seen too many scary movies, and continued walking. "Y/n" I stopped in my tracks and stiffened, I turned to where I'd just decided not to go and looked in the direction trying to figure out if I was just going crazy. I tucked my hair away from my face and slowly walked towards the voice, thinking maybe it was a teacher or friend trying to get my attention, I knew this probably wasn't the best choice, but I did it anyway. I walked back to where the footprints had been and they continued again. I looked at my watch. "How could it be almost two o'clock already?" I said as I tightened the grip on my wand and gingerly kept walking. I followed the footsteps for another fifteen minutes or so and eventually they stopped. I looked around to where I was, but I wasn't anywhere, it was just in a random spot of the forest, it looked the same as everywhere else. I tried to refrain from shaking, but it was cold, and I was terrified at this point, but i'd gone too far to not figure out why I was here. "Y/n" I looked in the direction I heard my name once more and stayed still for a moment. The voice was light, like a girls, and it seemed familiar but I wasn't sure if I'd heard it before. I looked in the direction still, debating what my next move was. "Y/n come here" my eyes grew wide as I realized, maybe I was dreaming? Or this was a weird trick the forest could do. "Connie?" I whispered as slowly walked towards where her voice was coming from. "Y/n come on follow me" I walked slower looking around me for any signs of immediate danger, my wand ready if I needed to protect myself. This was totally freaky, it had to be an illusion or something, but why would it happen out here? "Where are you?" I asked hoping she'd respond and give me a sense of where and why she was here. The twigs and leaves crunched under me as I continued forward, swallowing the lump in my throat and taking deep breaths.

   "Here look isn't it amazing" she said a little bit closer to where I was. "What Connie? What is it?" I said afraid, I knew this wasn't her, but something in me was too afraid to doubt the voice. I saw a faint glowing green light and cautiously walked towards it, I walked up the slight hill and I looked down at a clearing, a bright green light glowing from the middle. I rest my hand on a tree for balance looking at the light. I looked around it and gasped when I saw her. It was my sister, she was a ghostly looking figure, fused of blue matter that was glowing, almost sparkling. I held my breath as I lowered my arm, I pinched myself as I stayed frozen, hoping maybe it was just a dream, but I knew this was happening. "Connie what are you doing here?" I said , voice shaking, not moving from my spot. "It's gorgeous isn't it?" She said not looking at me and just staring intently at the glowing light. I slowly walked down the hill closer to the scene. "Yeah, Connie how are you here?" I said, holding my wand tightly and eyeing her intently. "I can't seem to take my eyes off it." she said, still not looking at me. I looked down at the light, approaching it more and standing in front of it, the light standing in between us. "Constance." I said trying to get her attention, but her eyes didn't leave the light. I looked back down at it. What is this thing? I looked around us not seeing anyone or anything. "I could almost touch it" she said, bending down and slowly reaching her hand out. "No Connie don't!" I said not knowing what this thing would do. I grew afraid and stepped back as her fingers grew nearer and touched the strange glowing light. As soon as she did her figure slowly dissolved and broke into a million tiny glowing blue specs and flew away in the wind, I gasped and cupped my mouth watching everything happen. I looked at the light and it began to do the same, only when all the green lights floated away, it revealed a small singular black lotus flower, the center of it faintly glowing green. I looked around me and gripped my wand together, my knuckles growing white. I was holding back any tears, I couldn't be crying in a situation like this. I squatted down in front of the flower, observing it closely. I looked into the center and got drawn into it. I couldn't seem to look away. I raised my hand but tried to stop myself, I mean after what it did to her this couldn't be a safe little ordinary flower. I thought about how this had to be why I was led here though, I mean someone wanted me to find this little flower.

   I tried to pull away but the force in me was stronger and pulled my hand towards it. I stared into it, its glow reflecting in my eyes. My fingers grew nearer and I touched the glowing light that came from the center, immediately the light left the flower and almost absorbed into my fingertips, I felt a shock run through my body as I watched it run up my arm and across my entire body, I shivered as it made its way through and closed my eyes as it washed through me, I stumbled and fell to the side on my back as the green light traveled along my skin and disappeared. I stayed laying on the ground, trying to get up, but could barely move. I looked at the flower, noticing it was no longer glowing and reached my arm out, I pulled it from the ground and held it in my hand. I didn't know what to do as I layed there, I thought about all the books I'd read and all the spells I'd learned. None seemed to be helpful in this moment and I thought for a second I may die from a stupid decision id made. I could barely turn my head or move my arms and legs, they felt tired and sore, stiff but limp. Like if I tried to stand they'd just give out. I layed there looking up at the stars, "Come on universe, what do I do?" I spoke out softly. I saw the constellation delphinus. The dolphin, I recalled the time my sister was learning the patronus spell and found out hers was a dolphin. I always thought of her when this constellation was out. That's it, my patronus! I had never fully successfully cast it out before, I never learned what mine was, but if I had any hope of getting out anytime soon, and not being eaten by wolves this was my chance. I set my wand down for a second and tucked the flower into my cardigan sleeve. I tried to muster up some energy and bent my leg up "Ohh fuck!" I shouted quietly as I heard it pop and I used it to push myself over to a tree that was next to me, I used my arm and slowly tried to push myself up to sit against it. "Shit shit shit" I said as I squeezed my eyes shut in pain and leaned my head back once I finally sat up. I let out a couple breaths from all the effort it took and grabbed my wand.

   Ok you can do this, it's very simple, and you've seen many people do it before. I took a couple breaths and relaxed myself, trying to relax my mind and nerves as well. Connie and I had discussed what we thought my patronus might be. It wasn't a shock hers was a dolphin, she was sociable and friendly, she always thought mine might be a unicorn since she always thought I was special, but id just laugh and disagree, I was only special to her, she thought I was the best person ever im sure, she was very positive, so if anything hers would be a unicorn not mine, I always pictured mine as a cockroach, or something stupid, I could never imagine anything worthy enough for me. I was a bitch to put it simply, I was snarky to those I didn't like, and I was sarcastic and truthful to those I did like. I always pictured mine to be a panther maybe, or a fox. I guess there was only one way to find out. I looked down at my watch, it was almost 4 o'clock. I held my wand tight and winced as I lifted my arm. I relaxed my shoulders and thought about everything she had taught me. I set my intent, pointed my wand up and began to swirl my wand in a circle slowly I could see a little spurt of blue coming, but it looked like a firework that wasn't going to go off, I kept trying, closing my eyes and thinking about anything I could to encourage it. "Come on please" I said opening my eyes, the blue grew more and more consistent and I squeezed my wand tighter, I moved it faster and got ready, extracting more and more power through it. "Expecto Patronum" I yelled, it shot out some blue lights, but nothing happened. "No come one please you have to work" I lifted my wand again and pointed it to the sky. I swirled it around the blue light being stronger and I could feel the power of the spell increasing, I closed my eyes and thought of my sister, her smile when hers showed up, when her dolphin swam around us in her room, I then un intentionally thought of Severus, our lessons, his kind words, his smell, his eyes. I opened mine and yelled once more, "Expecto Patronum!" I screamed it out and out from the tip of my wand shot a bright blue light, I stared intently and a smile grew on my face, my eyes lighting up from the light, and light tears falling from my eyes, swooping down and around the trees was a beautiful magical creature, it wasn't a unicorn, but it was an Abraxan, it was a breed of winged horses, and it was beautiful, it swopped and landed down in front of me, the dirt on the ground kicking up into blue fog, I looked down at me and I looked in its eyes, it was my patronus, so it knew exactly what to do, with a strong gust of wind it flew up into the sky and over the trees out of sight. I laughed to myself so glad I was able to do it, and hoping it would get the help I needed. I relaxed against the tree and felt all my limbs go tired and numb, I was exhausted from using all that energy and felt myself drift off into sleep.

[unlikelymilkshakedream]

It was a typical Friday in riverdale, you woke up and were excited for the weekend because this week had literally tried you to no ends. Your homework had stacked up horribly, you hadn't hung out with your friends all week, much less your boyfriend, Sweet Pea.

As the bell rang signaling the end of the school day, you felt excited to go to the white wyrm and get drunk around you lr friends, however those hopes quickly died down as your teacher called you to stay after class.

"Y/n, before you go id like a word with you."

"And I'd like a magic pony, but so rarely do we get what we want." You sassed back. You wanted nothing more than to climb behind sweets on his motorcycle and drink until you couldn't see straight.

"Y/n, your currently failing this class, I'm sorry but you need to do better. I know you, you're a smart person and you can do great things. You need to try harder." Your teacher looked like he wanted to be nice, but you were not in the mood.

"Mr. Yelich, I am trying hard, but you don't exactly make it easy, assigning more work every class, on top of the other 8 classes I have with a job and a social life. It will get done I promise, I am trying very hard." You were more than anything exhausted. Your job had kept you up late and no matter, you still had to stay up even later doing homework.

As you left the school building, you knew all of your friends would be gone already, including pea, who you told to not wait for. Instead you decided to catch a ride with your fellow serpent, Jessica.

When you got to the wyrm, you walked in and immediately ordered a shot of fireball. Surrounded by the crowded bar, no less. Tonight you decided you were going all in, blackout or back out, and you never backed out. As you took your fifth shot, you heard a voice behind you.

"Damn, like they're trying to get drunk, you know its just a stunt to get some dick, no wonder sweet pea hasn't talked to them all week." You turned around to see some beach blonde bitch with a posey of girls looking right at you. You sighed annoyedly.

"Now I know you weren't talking to me because one, who the fuck are you, two if I wanted dick I could get it sober unlike you bimbo bitches and three, what the hell do i care if I see sweet pea? I'm not his tender and he ain't my protector. So go find some other dumbass to lay into to make you feel better about your pathetic life. Thank you."

Apparently, the girls couldn't take it as well as the could dish it and instead jumped you in the middle of the bar. Since you were a little intoxicated it wasn't as easy as it would have been, however that didn't stop the undefeated Y/N Y/L/N. You grabbed the blonde by her hair after she suckered you in the rib and kneed her nose.

The girl next to the blonde grabbed you and layed a blow to your face while the third and final girl kicked you in the back. You went after the third girl, grabbing her arm and breaking her nose with your fist, while the other two punched your back and arms. She stumbled backwards and you turned to the other girls.

The blonde punched you in your nose, causing blood to drip onto the floor. The second girl layed three nice punches in your stomach. At this point your fight had gotten the attention of majority of the bar.

Just as you had knocked the brunette to the ground, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and hoist you off of the ground, separating you from kicking the others asses.

"Y/n, what the hell are you doing?" Sweet pea asked as he set you down. Tall boy came over at the same time.

"What the hell is going on here? Brooke, Sam?" Both girls got up with blood running from their faces and looked at the ground. "Y/n?" Tall boy turned to you.

"Nothing, if a bitch wants to talk shit, she better be ready to back it up." You say spitting blood on the floor.

"Y/n, you can't fight among serpents. You know the rules, if I catch you one more time, your suspended." Tall boy pointed a sharp finger in your face.

As he walked away, sweet pea grabbed your arm and turned you towards him. "Y/n, why did you do that?" You slapped his hand away.

"Fuck off sweet pea, I don't need your protection, I can handle myself. I'm your girlfriend, not some kid you need to take care of." You yelled in his face, followed by a shot of whiskey and then you stormed out of the bar. Sweet pea was stunned, you never yelled at him, much less in front of people.

As you left the bar slinging your jacket over your shoulders, you heard pea following you. "Hey, what the hell was that in there? Huh, don't you ever talk to me like that again." You turned to him, anger rushing through your veins.

"Why, because it makes you look weak? Sweet pea, you always talk to me like that and im fucking tired of it. I'm a serpent just like you. I'm your girlfriend, okay? You're not my guardian angel, and I don't need protection. Every other serpent sees me as your girlfriend and its bullshit!" You were screaming at him in front of everyone in the parking lot, not caring anymore and tired of his shit.

"Y/n, I never once tried to be your guardian angel. And if I want to help you who the fuck are you to say no?" Your laugh was filled with anger.

"Oh don't fucking kid yourself sweet pea. You want a girl you can make a house wife, you got the wrong fucking one. If you think i need your help you can walk in the other direction and never look back. Go fuck yourself." You spat as you turned away from him and got glances from other serpents who were in the parking lot.

"Y/n, you're fucking scum!" He shouted at you. You didn't care however, you just continued storming off. You had hoped tonight you could let loose and let the worries die away. But as tears streamed down your face as you walked into the dark, you couldn't help but hate how he didn't see your pain and stress.

He only cared how he looked and not how you were feeling. He didn't care about everything that had happened that week, he only wanted to look tough, like you were nothing more than a girl he could easily replace. But oh, was that the farthest thing from the truth there could be.

As you walked down the dimly lit street, you promised yourself, never to let anyone control you or make you feel this way again. You deserved someone better, someone who knew not to fuck with you, and you would be damned if you ever let anyone step on your fire again.

A/n: hi, so I tried my best to write this in a way that anyone could read, I hope I did a good job! I hope you like it and to anyone who feels like they aren't taken seriously, I just want you to know that I believe in you, and don't ever let anyone tell you what to do. You are amazing and deserve to show it! I love you all! Thank you for the love on some of my recent works <333

[taelme]

Friends-to-lovers!Mark

genre: friends-to-lovers!au, (fluff, angst, mutual pining lol might seem like slow burn) 

pairing/s : Mark / Reader, the dreamies all appear in this!! 

word count: 12k+ 

tw:  mild language, bullying :( but nothing too major im too weak to write that shit HAHHA 

a/n: this was a rly cute concept I always wanted to write,,, like a older brother figure best friend mark and it takes place in a church camp!! but you can just ignore that and pretend its a normal camp if you're not like religious I guess u know idk I hope u guys like this!! it was rly fun to write smth with all the dreamies :( gif creds to original poster

Stepping into the hall of the camp, you took in a deep breath of the air through your thin mask, the only thing you could smell being the stale material of the mask mixed with the warmth of the air you breathed out. Your eyes wandering around the room before landing on the familiar head of light brown hair. Lugging your duffel bag and sleeping bag over to where the boy was, you greeted, “Hi,” tone sounding too tired for his liking.

Looking up from his phone, he shot you a displeased look, his nostrils flaring slightly with the deep breath he took in as a prelude to the sigh you knew he was about to give you. “Took you long enough. What’s with the mask?”

“Mom told me she wouldn’t let me leave the house without it, says I’ll spread my germs to you guys,” you drawled with evident disbelief.

Donghyuck’s heart shaped lips curve into a smirk, “Strange, that’s never stopped you before, though.”

You shrugged, running a hand through your hair absentmindedly, eyes simultaneously searching the room for where Mark was and it didn’t take Donghyuck very long to catch onto what you were doing. 

“Dunno, I mean, it’s Mark’s first time as a camp coordinator. I wouldn’t want him having to deal with a whole flu breakout here..” you trailed off  

Donghyuck cooed sarcastically at your statement, “how disgustingly thoughtful of you. So, basically, what you’re trying to say is that you’re doing this to make life easier for your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you protested, earning an eye roll from Donghyuck- and a rather long one at that.

“I call bullshit!” You heard another voice pipe in and soon enough you could place a face to the voice when you saw Renjun take a seat next to Donghyuck, half-turning to Donghyuck to mutter, “I heard the word boyfriend and assumed she was denying her love for Mark again.”

You gasped, doing your best to look offended as you watched open-mouthed as Donghyuck shook hands with Renjun in approval, “Absolutely correct.”

You heard a shout of your name, turning your head to find the direction of the noise when you saw a navy blue sweater clad Mark, landyard round his neck, jogging towards you with a lazy smile on his face, his brown hair ruffled messily making him exude a certain boyish charm.

“Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for-” his smile curved downwards into a frown upon noticing the mask you were wearing on your face. “You still sick?”

You nodded, “It’s weird, I feel like I’m fully recovered but felt like I should put this on just in case.”

Donghyuck and Renjun took that as a cue to proceed with their own individual conversation and leave you two to converse after Mark’s lack of an acknowledgment towards their presence.

Mark nodded slowly, his lips pressed into a thin line like how they did whenever he was thinking. He wouldn’t say, but he knew the mask would be gone before the day ended since you never liked the feeling of it covering your face; also because he was familiar with how much you loved your reactions to be unrestricted.

“Oh, right, I remembered what I was gonna ask you. D’you mind helping with bag checks later? There are really few girl helpers here now since most of them told me they’d be showing up later,” he shot you a pleading pout.

You whined in reluctance but nodded nonetheless. “Mark, you know how much I hate that,” you put on your best glare in the hopes it would dissuade him.

Jutting out his lower lip and batting his eyelashes profusely at you in response, you were prompted to continue, “It’s always so hard to be patient with them when they’re always rolling their eyes at me and giving me attitude for confiscating their phones.”

“That’s why I’d rather you do it, ‘cause if they had a problem with you, I know you’d just give them attitude too, also because I’d make sure no one gives you any trouble if I can help it.”

You scoffed at his snickering, trying your best to ignore the way his nose scrunch tempted you to reach your hands out and pinch his cheeks. The both of you walked over to the tables they had set up for bag checks, Mark following close beside you.

“You say it like you wouldn’t do that if it was another girl helper,” you accused him with a teasing lilt in your tone, seeing Mark shrug casually yet not making any move to deny your accusation.

“Well, just that if it was you half the work would already be done for me,” he winked, making you gasp, whacking him on the arm.

“Can’t believe my best friend is making things easier for himself at the expense of my emotional state.”

Mark rolled his eyes at your dramatic sigh, a soft smile never faltering as he spoke, “oh, shut up, you know I love you.”

You couldn’t help but hear that as nothing but platonic, hoping Mark couldn't hear the hitch in your breath, shrugging as nonchalantly as you could, “of course.”

You were friends with Mark ever since he transferred schools and moved into your neighbourhood, occupying the house just directly opposite yours. All it took was a single dinner invite to his family and the two of you shared an immediate bond over a friendly dance battle on the wii console. ( Till today you'd like to remember it as a victory for you since Mark's flailing limbs didn't help him very much in moving along to Lady Gaga ).

From then on, you never felt like him being 2 years older than you prevented you from getting closer - hell, you barely even believed it - with his constant presence near you, be it in school and out of school, cheering you on at your drama performances and vice versa at his band performances and basketball games. You weren’t sure when it started being an unspoken thing that if you were somewhere, there he would be as well.

But that was never awkward till you entered your teen years, Mark's changed physique gaining him more attention from girls, whereas your beauty grew more and more each day ( well at least it did to Mark ) and there was an unspoken knowledge that the both of you knew that your feelings for each other could start to wobble over the line separating platonic and romantic, but neither of you ever brought it up. You always just brushed off Mark's habits of buying you your favourite melon milk before school or saving you a seat at his table with his group of friends as all part of his duty as your 'older brother' best friend figure.

While you were busy fumbling around to setup a table for bag checks, Mark was fumbling as well in the pantry for his vitamin drink and preparing a thermos flask full of ginger tea for you to soothe your throat. Once he’d finished, he sounded the siren on the megaphone- after many minutes of ‘oh shit’s from pressing the wrong buttons on accident -signalling for everyone to gather as he strolled to the assembly hall, the corner of his lips quirking up ever so slightly at the sight of everyone already gathered and seated there upon his arrival.

“Sup- I mean uh…alright guys, thanks for being so fast in gathering," he began, silence ensuing in the hall other than the clean tapping of his shoes against the shiny wood floor, and hushed chatter from Donghyuck and Renjun, as he made his way towards where you sat in the circle, making as if wanting to seat himself next to you.

Not without an offended scoff, Renjun shifted his bum to the right to make space in between himself and you for Mark to sit down, the older boy holding the thermos flask in front of you with an expectant look.

"Ginger tea," he answered before you could even ask him what the flask contained, "make sure to finish it by lunchtime for your throat," he gave you a rather forced-looking close-lipped smile, unbeknownst to him that he was being watched by the entire service team, the only thing on his mind being to give you that and see to it that you fully recover.

"Thanks, Mark," you mumbled, grasping the flask tightly and lowering your head to avoid the stares you were receiving from the team, especially Donghyuck and Renjun who made their smugness a little too obvious.

He's just taking care of you as a little sister, you reminded yourself, desperately hoping your words would lessen the severity of the heat you felt on your cheeks.

Mark proceeded to run through the details of the camp programme, mentioning details of the day like wet games and whatnot. You would’ve remembered if you were actually paying any attention. The tip of his pink tongue would occasionally peek out to wet his lips as he spoke, his hand coming up to nudge his glasses up his nose bridge whenever he looked at his papers scattered on the floor.

You were starting to think it was a little ridiculous your heart rate could speed up watching him just sitting there, not doing anything particularly mind-blowing. Just sitting there being, well...Mark.

"Is that alright?" you snapped out of your trance when he glanced at you for approval of whatever he had been talking about for the past five minutes. You nodded mindlessly, shooting him a smile of reassurance.

"Yep, it's fine," you answered along with a few other murmurs from around the circle.

Mark sighed in relief, nodding as he stood up swiftly, clipping his pen to the string of the lanyard he’d slung across his chest.

"Campers are to be here in about fifteen minutes, everybody be on standby and mix around with your group till the time for the opening address I guess, I mean- yeah, just do that.” and just like that everyone slowly stood up in groups, dispersing around the hall. Mark held out a hand for you to take to help you off the ground just as you heard Donghyuck snort at something Renjun did, turning to you as his next target.

"Hey, Y/N. Try to get up without using your hands," your competitive nature got the better of you and you heaved yourself off the floor with just your legs, grinning proudly at Haechan, Mark’s hand withdrawing to his side quickly in the hopes no one saw what had just happened.

Mark winced as he felt Renjun slap him between the shoulder blades, his chuckle sounding all too obnoxious, "better luck next time, bro," as Mark flushed red, dismissing the blonde haired boy's teasing.

Mark huffed, not feeling bitter or anything, couldn’t help the endeared smile that appeared on his face at the way you cheered triumphantly at Donghyuck, who mussed up your hair as you simply grinned back at him, then at Mark. Mark’s breath almost hitched as you stared at him as if saying ‘did you see what I just did?’, and his smile stayed unwavering, shooting you a thumbs up because god, did he love you.

===

“Don’t you ever get tired of the pining?” Renjun prodded at Mark as the both of them made their way to the water coolers, the blonde haired boy twirling his bottle in the air with each throw.

“What?” Mark felt as if he hadn’t processed whatever Renjun had just said to him.

Renjun shot him a tired look, “Don’t act dumb, Mark. You know what I’m talking about.” Renjun was who Mark had first confided in when he realised that he had feelings for you, obviously earning a long lecture from the younger boy, who was very much insistent that Mark should do something about the way he felt before it was too late.

“Of course I do,” Mark muttered with a defeated tone, the muted whirring of the water cooler matching his sentiments.

“Then? Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

“Ever heard of fear, dude? She’s like...my best friend, I can’t just like drop a bomb like that on her, it’s too risky.”

Renjun rolled his eyes, “And hopelessly pining for her every day is a better option?”

Mark’s mouth opened in protest, holding his now filled water bottle up in protest, “It’s not hopele-“

“I heard Jaemin’s gonna ask her out.” Renjun lied, making Mark fall silent as his eyes widened, speaking for themselves. Though it arguably wasn’t the best method, Renjun knew that someone like Mark would need a push like this if he wanted Mark to take action.

Mark’s jealousy was slowly creeping in, making its authority evident in his tone as he countered with a scoff, “I’d like to see how that turns out.”

“Well, you’re not exactly ‘Johnny Bravo’ yourself, dude. You gotta up your game! C’mon, you’ve got so many chances to do that in the next 3 days, might as well use them to your advantage,” Renjun karate chopped the metal railing for emphasis as they walked up the stairs. Though he was convincing, Mark wasn’t sure if Renjun would be the angel or devil on his shoulders in this situation, but whatever it was that he was trying to do certainly was doing its job in getting Mark riled up.

Walking back into the assembly hall, Mark spotted you chatting with your group members excitedly, the mask you were wearing in the morning now no longer covering your face- which Mark would never outrightly admit he was happy about.

“Remember what I said, dude. Don’t miss your chance,” Renjun’s words lingered in Mark’s mind, meandering around every other thought that occupied his head and slowly tainting each one with possible thoughts of how he was going to tell you about how he felt. Campers were almost fully gathered in the assembly hall now, with bag checks finished and opening address not due for another ten minutes but as Mark saw you spot him across the room and start to make your way to him, he felt his heart start to race- no, sprint -in his chest, threatening to burst.

“Babe! The tea you made me was amazing, I feel even better now,” you grinned at him, his heart at a loss, not knowing it was possible to flutter so hard until he heard the pet name bubble so casually from your lips, accompanied by your heart stopping ( well, for Mark definitely ) smile. Your hands flew up to cup his face, squishing his cheeks together with a giggle, the sound itself making Mark panic, his fist clenching but his finger accidentally knocking the button on the megaphone that sounded the siren, making you shout in surprise, squishing his cheeks even harder before letting go quicker than you imagined you could.

Donghyuck and Renjun, who were watching the scene from afar were busy laughing at the fact that you had managed to fluster Mark into sounding the siren, attracting the attention from the entire hall.

“Sorry, false alarm,” he spoke into the mic, not sounding apologetic at all, more preoccupied with how to make his ears not give away how he felt. What he didn't notice was that his cheeks were already wildly pink, both from embarrassment and the blood rushing back into them after that pressure from your hands.

“Are you cold? your ears are really red,” you laughed, playing with his ears absentmindedly as your wrist rested just against his collarbone, making him shove you away quickly in a desperate attempt to put at least some distance between the both of you.

“Excuse me, facilitator, aren’t you supposed to be getting to know your group now instead of bothering the person in charge?” he told you as authoritatively as he could in his panicked state, raising an eyebrow at you to which you scoffed.

“Power has changed you, Mark Lee,” you shook your head in mock disappointment, “won’t even let your best friend talk to you now that you’re all up there,” you used your hand to gesture high above you before you coughed, wiping away fake tears from your cheeks before sticking your tongue out at him when you realised it wasn’t making him budge.

“Get,” he shooed you away before taking his place at the front of the assembly hall, fiddling with his phone before he sat there idling away, trying to stop his gaze from wandering over to where you were with your group, the sound of your loud laughter attracting his attention whether he liked it or not, but soon Mark settled for subtly scanning the room so he could let his gaze linger on your group a little while longer before he resumed scanning the room like it was part of his role.

===

You shrieked upon the feeling of cold water rushing over your head, down your face, wetting your neck and travelling down the rest of your body. Turning around rapidly, you heard the camera shutter go off with an all-too familiar voice ringing out a "Smile!" your eyes landed on the culprit which was none other than said cameraman, Mark Lee, carrying a camera in one hand and a - now empty - bucket in the other.

Letting the camera dangle from the toy story camera strap you gifted him hanging around his neck, his giggly giddy laugh echoing within the almost-empty underground carpark. Usually this would've been enough to cloud your judgement with sheer endearment for the boy, but you opted to whack him on the arm and kick his butt as punishment for getting you wet with foamy water.

"You're lucky you have that camera or I would've drowned you by now," you huffed, seeing him pucker his lips at you, shaking his butt from side to side in some sort of attempt to mock you, which you found unbearably cute instead.

“I know," he told you in a matter-of-fact tone, throwing the empty bucket aside before bringing his hand up to comb through his hair and wipe the sweat from his face with the hem of his t-shirt, which of course caused you to look away quicker than lightning. The hair that he had now pushed back messily on his head was recently dyed back to black from its previous stunt of blonde he thought would be fun to try. You had to say, as much as he was annoying you right now, how he looked in his hawaii print shorts and his white shirt was distracting you.

"Feels good to be an organizer, no getting wet and gross like you," he stuck his tongue out, making you roll your eyes in response, snatching the bucket back from where he threw it on the floor so you could hand it back to the logistics member running the particular station game you were at.

"Don't you have other people to take pictures of?" you sneered, his seagull eyebrows rising in disbelief that you sounded as if you didn't want him there so he turned around, making as if he were about to leave.

"Well sure if you don't want me here," you grabbed his shirt before he could walk any further, pulling it so he stumbled back next to you, slippers stomping noisily.

"No, wait. I’m kidding stay here don't leave me," you pleaded, flashing him your signature pout with your best attempt at sympathetic eyes, making his nose scrunch up in a smile as his hands unconsciously clenched.

"God, don't give me that face," one of the participants in your group waggled her eyebrows at you behind Mark's shoulder, making you flush and shoo her away with a flick of your hand.

"Good, isn't it? if I keep practising, you bet I can get my mom to checkout my shopping cart for Christmas in no time," you grinned, earning a good-natured shake of the head from Mark.

"It's shower time after this right?" you asked, the sludging and squeaking of your wet slippers irking you as you walked behind your group with Mark, who glanced at his watch before nodding at you.

Mark couldn’t help the giggle that escaped from his lips as he saw the way your arms would unconsciously raise as you tried to take your steps with minimal noise. “Yeah, you guys can hit the showers after this, especially you.”

You heard his stomach grumble, your gaze shooting up from the floor so you could frown at him.

“Please tell me you ate during lunch...” Mark was sheepish, laughing nervously as he shrugged, his hands fumbling around as he debated on whether to avoid the question or listen to the scolding he assumed you were about to give him.

"Well, I got a lot of reviews on the catering??" you sighed at his reply, making sure he knew how displeased you were at that fact.

"Mark,” your hands found their way to your hips, “you can't just keep forgetting things like this, I swear, no one else is gonna remind you to eat if I don't," you told him, recalling how Mark had been like this ever since high school when he started taking up more responsibilities in student council and being basketball captain and whatnot. You remembered the many lunch periods you would have to spend with him in the council room with him rushing a proposal or his homework.

"Well, at least I still have you right?" he offered with a hopeful smile, but your expression remained unwavering so he continued, "c'mon, it's my first time leading a camp; I want to do a good job."

You looked at him in understanding, resigning to the fact that Mark wouldn't back down so easily since he wanted to work hard. "Alright, fine. But I’m still gonna hound you about necessities whether you like it or not, mister," he seemed to have no objections to that, simply choosing to nod at you as if it was something he wanted.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," he picked up his megaphone and held it away from you, pushing the button- successfully, for once -to signal the siren for the facilitators to dismiss their groups for shower time.

After you were showered and in a fresh pair of clothing, you brought your things down to the canteen for dinner. It wasn't surprising that you already saw Mark waiting in the canteen, though he was looking rather rigid while talking to Jaemin, which you were curious about since you knew them to be quite comfortable with each other. Walking past them, you caught Jaemin’s eye, making him halt his conversation with Mark to wave at you with a smile, yet Mark seemed to be glaring at Jaemin the entire time.

Gathering your group of kids to get their food, you made your way to the drink dispenser, doing your best to carry multiple cups at once so you wouldn't have to make a second trip back.

"Here, lemme help you with that," Mark showed up in front of you, obstructing your path as he proceeded to take half the cups from you, earning more than a few unnoticed stares from the campers who absolutely adored the idea of you and Mark actually dating.

"Thanks," you murmured, the tip of your tongue peeking out from your lips in concentration so you wouldn't spill your drinks.

"How's the food?" he asked you.

"Haven't eaten it yet, but smells great," his eyes crinkled in a bright smile at your reply.

"Really? That's great," he sighed in relief.

After placing the drinks on your group's table he sat at one of the empty seats and spoke with you for a while as your campers slowly came back one by one. You missed the suspicious stares your campers were giving you at Mark's presence at the table. He had a hand resting on the back of your chair casually, an almost identical scene from when you had to make sure Mark ate while he buried himself in student council work.

The two of you shared food from one plate since Mark had helped take enough for the both of you, not getting a separate one for himself because he was lazy. You know, totally not because he just wanted an excuse for you to feed him while he pretended to be busy skimming through the agenda for the rest of the day.

"Do you have to leave soon for prep?" you asked him, seeing an look of realisation wash over his face, nodding at you when he glanced at the time.

Letting out a breathy sigh, he stood up, megaphone in one hand while picking up your now empty plastic plate and cutlery to help you dispose of it.

"See you later, dude," you waved sadly, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he let out his signature nose scrunch and giggle before his lips jut out in a pout, waving goodbye as he left.

Considering the fact that for the rest of the day you were busy with your group and Mark was busy making sure everything was in order, the both of you didn’t manage to find the time to stop and talk to each other when you even simply crossed paths in the hallways, settling for a playful poke in his side or a nod of the head from him as a greeting.

Thankfully, just as your back had started to hurt and your eyes started to feel heavy, it was time for the night debrief. You walked into the room, glad to see Mark had saved a space for you and was waving you over to come sit with him, beckoning you over while patting the empty space next to him.

"Hey," he greeted you with a smile, his nose scrunching when you knocked over the hood of his jacket to ruffle his hair.

"Glad that one day is almost done with," your words were slightly muffled as you yawned, seeing him shoot you a look of agreement and nod with a sigh.

"I know, right? Hope none of the committee make noise tonight, I’m really hoping I can sleep as soon as possible," he admitted, pressing his lips into a firm line as he glanced at the things he was supposed to discuss during the debrief.

You wanted to get something to munch on to keep you awake during the debrief, looking around the room as if scanning to see if any members of the service team were in possession of food, and it was as if Mark could read your mind when he took out a pack of cookies from his jacket pocket, passing it to you ever so subtly.

“Thanks, dude,” you heard Donghyuck’s voice interrupt when he reached over to take the packet from your hands, bursting it open and munching on one, much to the dismay of Mark, though he didn’t say anything, simply smiling and returning to his papers when you flicked Donghyuck on the forehead and reclaimed your cookies.

Debrief went by fairly quickly, with Mark running through the points he needed to take note of as quickly as he could. You were already feeling a little restless after finishing your cookies so you leant your head against Renjun’s shoulder since he was sitting closest to you in the circle, earning a soft chuckle from him, “Careful now, your boyfriend might get jealous,” he teased.

Harshly whispering back, “what boyfriend,” you huffed, rolling your eyes.

When debrief had ended, you were feeling really tired so after washing up and changing into your sleeping clothes you were happy to have found Mark already waiting for you outside the girls’ dorm to walk with you to the communal sleeping area.

“You’re not sleeping yet?” you asked, already yawning. Mark shook his head with a yawn himself, “still gotta finalise some stuff for tomorrow’s program.”

You frowned, waiting obediently as he had already helped the both of you take a mattress each and lay it at the side facing each other since there wasn’t much space left in the room.

Squatting next to your mattress and laying out your sleeping bag, you voiced out as softly but firmly as you could, “why couldn't they have told you earlier? It's not fair that you have to stay up doing work for them while they’re all happily asleep," you felt a tinge of annoyance at the unfairness of it all but Mark simply ruffled your hair good-naturedly, assuring you it was okay, all the while his face was heating up from his heart fluttering at your concern for him.

Once you were tucked into your sleeping bag you glanced up at Mark who was still sitting with one knee tucked under his chin, his face illuminated by the light from his phone. As if feeling your stare on him, he glanced from his phone to you, placing his phone down to give his attention to you.

“Go to sleep, you’ve got a long day tomorrow,” his voice was barely a murmur, fatigue laced in his tone.

“You should be sleeping too, you know. It’s not as if we go through different camps..”

Mark let out a soft huff of laughter, whispering back trying to reassure you, “I know, I will. Don’t worry about me and get some sleep, alright?”

Rolling over in your sleeping bag, you stared Mark down as hard as you could, “no. I refuse. For as long as you’re awake, I’m not gonna sleep,’ you huffed.

Mark knew that your claim was far- fetched, seeing as he could tell you were tired, with how your head would lull to the side ever so often and your breathing would even out before you would jolt awake suddenly, remembering your promise to stay awake.

But true enough, he wasn’t even 2 pages into his documents when he heard the light thud of your head hitting the mattress, your breaths slowing down and becoming deeper. Seeing as you didn’t bring a pillow to the camp, Mark figured he could do without his jacket since he probably wasn’t getting much sleep tonight anyway, folding his jacket carefully into a nice rectangle, one hand lifting your head gently to slide the jacket underneath so your head could rest gently on it.

“Goodnight,” he murmured, tugging your sleeping bag up to cover you more before he resumed browsing his documents.

===

The next morning, during the briefing in the morning, one of the members leading the service team had decided to add morning exercises to get everybody’s energy up, part of this including stretches.

You were a little hesitant to do the stretches since you realized your shirt would ride up a little when you had to do certain stretches, but you tried your best. Mark was a little late, walking in and not being able to help the laugh from slipping out of his mouth when he saw you struggling to do the stretches, but he couldn’t stay entertained when he saw one of the older guys from the service team checking you out while you were doing the stretches.

His best solution he could think of in the moment was to shed himself of his jacket and wordlessly walk over to tie it around your waist, successfully covering you adequately and making you a lot more comfortable, as evident in how you could freely stretch without fear of exposing too much you weren’t comfortable with.

Your cheeks flushed, not expecting Mark to swoop in with such a gesture that you obviously weren’t prepared for so early in the morning.

“Sleep well?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from sleep, joining the stretches smoothly and you had to keep your gaze focused forward so you wouldn’t lose concentration.

“Yeah, you?” he nodded.

“What’s for breakfast, organizer?” you grinned.

“Cereal, dummy. You were the one that bought it, remember?” your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape in realisation.

“Oh, right,” you laughed.

The rest of the day went by fairly fast, the highlight of it being that Donghyuck wouldn’t shut up about how flustered Mark was when he was caught off guard during your session you were giving, when he was too busy admiring you and not paying much attention to what you were saying. “He was totally drooling! Renjun can vouch for it,”


“Renjun is not a reliable source, if anything, Mark was just tired, and zoning out. That’s all.”

You could practically hear Donghyuck rolling his eyes at you. “Listen to me, I’m just saying. I’ve known Mark longer than you have, and if anything, the last time I saw him act like this was... basically never, because Mark’s never cared about someone other than his family as much before.”

“Yeah, you said it, family. That’s what he sees me as, hyuck.”

“Yeah, his wife!” you choked on your fruit punch, pushing your dinner further from you on the table since you were done with it. “I mean, everyone can see it, might as well make it clear to the both of you before I have to resort to bringing you both together myself.”

“I love you too, hyuck,” he made a face of dismay, mocking you as he repeated what you had said.

“Also, does Mark have beef with Jaemin? He’s been acting really weird around him,” you voiced out, having noticed it yesterday during lunch.

Donghyuck laughed a little too loud, shaking his head vigorously, “Mark’s just weird,” he continued, voice dropping to a mutter, “I don’t know why you like him, he’s an idiot. But you know, I’m not here to judge, you do you.”

“Get out,” laughing, you shoved him off his chair, and his high pitched giggle rang out like bubbles.

Mark couldn't help the way his eyes searched the room for you whenever he stepped in, landing on you and Donghyuck when he heard the younger boy's laughter ringing in the distance.

"I bet if Y/N usually wore stripes you'd be really good at where's waldo," Renjun snickered at Mark's resemblance to a lovestruck-puppy as he looked at you and Donghyuck every five seconds while he ate.

Mark's head shot up at the sound of Renjun's comment, glaring at the boy seated in front of him.

"Whatever," he murmured, cheeks hollowing because of the way he pursed his lips, chewing aggressively on the food in his mouth as he saw Jaemin approaching you and Donghyuck to join the conversation.

"He's totally not her type anyway," he justified to no one in particular, earning a rather intense eye roll from Renjun.

“Does saying that make you feel like you have a better chance than Jaemin? It's not as if u can just… telekinesisJaemin away from her, you might as well man up and do something about it yourself if you wanna guarantee that he won’t get in the middle of whatever you two have going on,” Renjun sighed, shrugging as if he hadn't just had an encouraging best friend moment, leaving Mark wondering how Renjun could still manage looking so innocent sipping his orange juice.

Mark didn’t even notice when you had left the canteen with one of the participants from Jeno and Chenle’s group that wasn’t feeling well, leading him up to the toilet as quickly as you could because he needed to throw up.

The boy had mentioned that he had a history of bad health, and he wasn’t feeling well enough to stand on his own, so you figured it would be best if you could follow him to the toilet to make sure he wouldn’t faint. After many minutes of retching and coughing, the boy was starting to feel a little better and you let him wash his mouth before moving to lead him out of the toilet, only to come face to face with some of Mark’s fellow committee members- who you didn’t remember the names of, but you weren’t very fond of them anyway.

“What are you doing with this kid? Did you know that we’ve had to spend the last 15 minutes looking for you while you were doing God knows what in the male toilet?” one girl with a sleek ponytail had snapped, her voice sharp and cutting.

You furrowed your eyebrows, confusion taking over you, “hey, you should go join the rest now, tell Jeno and Chenle I’ll join them later.”

Turning your gaze to the committee members after you had seen the boy disappear around the corner, you continued, “I’m sorry, I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea. He wasn’t feeling well and I saw that Jeno and Chenle were busy so I took him to the toilet myself, that’s all that happened...”

“You couldn’t have asked another male facilitator, could you? Or were you just so eager to bring him to the male toilets yourself. You know, it’s hard to believe what you’re telling us, Y/N. I mean, we don’t necessarily have the bestimpression of you,” another one of the group had spoken up, and a strange feeling bubbled within your chest. You barely even knew any of these people, yet they seemed to have so much to say to you.

“This is a church camp...” you murmured, flinching slightly at how quick they were to bite back at you with an answer.

“Yeah, a church camp where this situation would have required a male facilitator to follow the participant, not you. Wonder what Mark would think if he saw you in the male toilets with a participant, whom, you know, is younger than you,” the ponytail girl had hummed, making you scoff.

“Mark knows I wouldn’t do that,” you spoke up, trying to make your voice as firm as possible.

“Yeah, but does everyone else know?” you were at a loss, your fists clenching and unclenching as you tried to find the right words to say to them, however they seemed to have beaten you to it.

“What’s your aim, huh? Are you mad because they made us in charge and not you? Did you think that you would’ve been chosen as well just because you’re close to Mark?” one of the guys had added, folding his arms and taking a step closer to you, his height practically towering over you. “You know, he’s not even doing that great of a job, for that matter-”

“Don’t you dare talk about Mark like that,” you frowned, though their laughter only served to make you feel even smaller in their presence. “Oh? Are we not allowed to? I mean, it’s the truth after all. The dumbass doesn’t even know we’ve just been making him do all our work for us,” she shrugged nonchalantly, making your frown grow even deeper.

“Is that how you make him go to your beck and call too? hmm?”

“My relationship with Mark isn’t like that...” you started, though you couldn’t seem to know what to say after that, which of course, gave them the perfect opportunity to mock you once again.

“Really, now?” the ponytail girl had leaned closer to you, the sarcasm in her tone making your eyes roll. “Then what is it like? like you and that kid you fooled around with?”

You held yourself back, not wanting to tear up from their words but not being able to help your frustration.

“I did not fool around with him. He was sick and I brought him to the washroom,” your voice trembled with the sheer amount of anger you were feeling.

“Sure, whatever, Y/N. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.” They left before you could say anything else, leaving you dumbfounded as you made your way back to the hall for the next session.

===

It was no surprise that Donghyuck found your behavior suspicious when you returned to the hall, and though you acted as per normal through the session, when Mark had dismissed everyone for an hour of free time before dinner, he’d taken the opportunity to sit you down and squeeze whatever gossip material he could get out of you.

“What happened during lunch? You left with Jisung, right?”

You nodded, picking up the crumbs of bread that had fallen on your pants and tossing them elsewhere, “yeah, he needed to puke and Jeno and Chenle were busy serving food.”

A silence fell between the both of you as Donghyuck continued to look at you expectantly, “Yeah, and?” he prompted with a ‘duh’ tone.

“What do you mean, ‘and’? that’s it.”

“Cut the bullshit, dude. Jeno and Chenle told me Jisung came back without you, said the committee were giving you shit.”

You sighed, finishing the last bite of your bread and gesturing to Donghyuck to hand you your water-bottle, taking your time to sip your water- and pluck up your courage -before you decided to continue, “they were just talking shit, as usual. No big deal.”

“What did they say to you?” he prodded again, making you shoot him a look.

“You’re not gonna stop till I tell you everything, aren’t you?” he nodded with a sickening smile, batting his eyes at you expectantly.

“I don’t know...you know, like....they started saying I brought Jisung into the cubicle with me on purpose or something-”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened, before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Huh? To do what?”

“I don’t know!” your tone was exasperated, glad that Donghyuck felt the situation was just as absurd as you thought it was. “Whatever it is it clearly wasn’t what I was really helping Jisung out with!” you huffed.

“They said it as if I was fooling around with him or something...then they were saying shit like, like I don’t know they make Mark do all their work for them? And they asked me if I manipulated him that way to get him to do things for me as well and when I said that wasn’t the kind of relationship I had with Mark they were like ‘oh so you do the same things with Mark that you did with Jisung’? and I don’t know hyuck it was just really horrible and I felt like shit and I wanted to cry because I was so embarrassed but it was like I couldn’t even talk!” you gasped, practically panting after telling Donghyuck what had happened at one go.

Donghyuck paused, letting a silence fall between you for a while before letting out a scoff, and a rather exaggerated one at that, “aren’t you pissed? I’m super pissed and it didn’t even happen to me!”

You pouted at the floor before frowning at Donghyuck exasperatedly, “you know that there’s nothing I can do about it now. And as a matter of fact there’s nothing I want to do about it now. It’s over, Jisung is okay, and that’s all that matters.”

“You know that’s not it, Y/N.” In all your time of knowing Donghyuck, you would have to say that this was the most serious you’ve ever seen him act ( well, aside from when he’s playing video games with Jeno or Renjun ).

“Well, what do you suppose I do about it, genius?” you shot back, downing a big gulp of water to soothe your still slightly hoarse throat.

“I think you should tell Mark,” he told you as if it was the best idea in the entire world, earning a violent shake of the head from yourself.

“No way in hell- I mean, heck, that Mark is gonna know about this. Hyuck, I’m serious,” you put a hand on his knee that was on the bench to steady yourself.

“Mark already has so much on his plate, I can’t afford to have him worrying about even more things, especially not if it concerns me.” You could see that Donghyuck was thinking hard about this, the pout on his lips seeming to deepen as he glanced elsewhere with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, his eyes squinting the more deep in thought he got.

“I know! What if it wasn’t about you! I can just tell him the committee were giving somebody shit-“

“Donghyuck, are you hearing yourself right now? You’d have to mention me eventually if you went with that plan. Scrap that plan, go with my plan. Which is to just not tell Mark at all,” you grinned at him, holding two thumbs up in an attempt to be more convincing, earning yourself a very slow and accentuated eye roll from Donghyuck.

“Hyuck, I mean it. I know you’re gonna wanna do something to get back at them but believe me when I say I reallydon’t want this to be made into a big deal.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You have such little faith in me.”

You heard the sound of the megaphone’s siren signalling that it was dinnertime, so you said goodbye to Donghyuck and joined your own group to eat dinner.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, was busy gathering him and Mark’s group of friends to, if put in Donghyuck’s words- “spill the tea.”

Jaemin, Chenle, Renjun and Jeno were currently surrounding Donghyuck at one of the stone tables in the church that Donghyuck figured would make his announcement more professional, “okay, boys, first order of business. Let me tell you what happened to Y/N just now after she helped Jisung puke and whatever,” Jeno and Chenle shared what seemed to be a knowing look whereas Renjun and Jaemin just looked confused.

“Something happened?” Renjun spoke up, earning an equally confused sound from Jaemin, to which Donghyuck nodded gravely, proceeding to tell them exactly what you had told him prior to dinner time.

“I knew it!” Chenle shouted, standing up in his excitement before being shushed and shoved back into his seat by Jaemin and Renjun.

“I knew something was up when I was having touch time with Jisung just now, he said that the committee were saying things that ‘weren’t so nice’ to her but he couldn’t exactly remember what it was,” Jeno explained on Chenle’s behalf since the latter was too busy enjoying the fact that he was right about his suspicions against the committee.

“And she just stood there and took all of that?” Jaemnin asked, concern laced in his tone, glancing at a pissed-looking Renjun mid-speech.

“Well, she did say she was so humiliated and I doubt she could’ve gotten anything else in with all of those psychos ganging up on her,” Donghyuck shrugged, “which is why I say we should do something about it! Avenge our dear sister whom Mark just so happens to be in love with!” Donghyuck pumped his fist in the air, earning a sound of agreement from Jeno and Chenle, but he felt opposition the moment he glanced at Renjun and Jaemin’s concerned expression.

“I don’t know, hyuck. I mean she did say she didn’t want it to be a big deal...” Jaemin started.

Chenle jumping in quickly to add, “Unless we just tell Mark?”

“But that’s exactly what she didn’t want us to do!” Jaemin shushed Chenle again, who simply shrugged in defeat, “well that’s the limit of my ideas, man,” Chenle shrugged.

“I think we should tell Mark,” Renjun piped up, to which Jaemin asked, “wait are you on our team or against us?”

“Nobody’s against anybody here!” Donghyuck sighed, desperately wanting to facepalm, thinking again to himself why he thought telling them would be a good idea.

“The only people we should be against are those stupid committee members.”

“Wait who are they again?” Jeno asked, earning a loud groan from Jaemin.

Eventually, their discussion drifted elsewhere after someone had mentioned the brownies being served for dessert, leaving Renjun to be the only one silently thinking of how to approach Mark to break the news to him before it was time for debrief since the group of them couldn’t decide on things for shit.

===

“Dude I need to talk to you,” Renjun closed the door to the empty committee room that Mark was currently in, since after the groups were done sharing they would have to be dismissed to go to sleep and it would already be time for debrief.

“Uh-huh,” Mark barely glanced away from his notes he’d taken in the day, earning a tired look from Renjun.

“Dude I’m serious, I need to talk to you it’s about Y/N.”

“Huh?” Mark finally tore his gaze from his papers, before shaking his head and returning his glare to them again, saying, “Renjun, I’m really sorry but can this wait? I really need to make sure  got everything down here, the priest is gonna be there at the debrief later and if I screw this up it’s gonna look really bad on me as the person in charge.”

Raising his hands in an action of surrender, “Ok, fine man, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

===

When you got to the room where the debrief was going to be held, you avoided the smug looks on the committee members’ faces as they whispered amongst themselves and pointed at you not-so-subtly as you made your way next to where Mark was seated.

“Hey,” you chirped, seeing his head tilt up to look at you, a smile on his face when he realized it was you.

“Hey,” he greeted.

You chose not to distract him since he seemed to be rather focused on his notes, making you feel a little upset at how he was over here stressing out about the agenda for the debrief while the other committee members were lounging on the table idling away.

Thankfully, Mark had started the debrief a little early today, with the reasoning that he understood everyone would like to go to sleep as soon as possible after the long day you had today. Running through the list of things to cover quickly, what was next was when Mark would routinely ask if any participants were not feeling well and he would proceed to check back with the groups on those participants whose sicknesses were already reported to him.

“Group 7?” Mark asked, and you knew this was Jisung’s group, so you were expecting Mark to ask about Jisung but Chenle and Jeno’s statement caught you off guard.

“Jisung was actually feeling really bad around lunchtime? Chenle and I were busy serving food so he was accompanied by Y/N instead, since it was pretty urgent and he’d puked up a lot according to him,” Chenle made a disgusted face at Jeno’s words.

“He’s still feeling a little queasy but we gave him some medicine before we sent him to bed. HIs mom says he has a really sensitive stomach but he claims after he puked he felt a little better. But thankfully since Y/N was there it really helped him- and us -loads.” Chenle nodded, flashing you an appreciative smile as Jeno awaited Mark’s reaction.

Mark’s expression darkened, turning to the committee members who were behind him to ask, “why was I not notified that we had a participant that threw up and was under medication?” the ponytail haired girl suddenly seemed as though she had a lot less to say compared to when she was outside the washroom with you earlier.

“Well, you know....uh, well, we assumed since Y/N was the one who was so eagerly helping Jisung, she would’ve told you about the situation,” she shrugged, her gaze pointed at you.

Mark turned to you momentarily before narrowing his eyes at the committee once again, “so you were aware that this was happening and none of you decided to double check if I was notified about this?”

One of the taller guy members sitting next to the ponytail haired girl had spoken up, “well since Y/N-”

“Whether or not she was involved is not the main concern here. Her responsibilities do not include doing the work that is meant to be done by the group of you.”

You looked at Donghyuck with a panicked expression, seeing his lips pressed together in an attempt not to laugh amidst the tense atmosphere that had fallen throughout the room.

“What the heck is going on?” you mouthed to Renjun since Donghyuck didn’t seem to be able to be of any help right now, seeing Renjun shrug, pointing at Mark before using both his index fingers to make angry eyebrows on his face.

Mark lowered his voice so he could direct his words more specifically to the committee members, “I don’t know what you take your responsibilities in this camp to be, but clearly you’re not taking them seriously enough, not with you thinking I’m actually stupid enough to not realize you’ve been asking me to do extra work since you’re all seemingly incapable of doing it, and to add on to that you think that even non committee should be taking care of and receiving blame for your faults?” Mark’s voice raised slightly before he remembered the presence of the priest in the room, which served to remind him to keep his calm a little.

Mark turned back around to face the rest of the team, “Any other issues you would like to raise? if not there’s no further things we need to discuss on the agenda, you guys are dismissed. Committee please stay behind.” Mark’s aura was a lot more intimidating than you’d seen him in a while, and you understood why since you knew this was his first time being in charge of a camp and he wanted to do a good job and prove himself, but it seemed like things weren’t going as planned.

You decided it was better to leave him to do his own thing now before he could get more triggered, leaving the room after giving him a gentle squeeze of his arm.

Renjun had met Mark downstairs in the canteen after most of the service team members had gone to sleep. He felt a little pity for the older boy, seeing how his eyes had dark circles under them, his hair was messy now probably after many times of frustratedly running his hands through it, and he looked absolutely ready to pass out.

“So...debrief, huh,” Renjun let out a low whistle.

“I know, it was a mess. I can’t believe I could let that happen-“

“Did they tell you what happened?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed at Renjun, taking a seat at the bench in the open air, enjoying the cool wind of the night time that served to comfort him just a little in the midst of him feeling like absolute shit. “You mean you’re telling me there’s more that happened?” Mark’s voice was tired, sounding as if nothing would surprise him any more than he already was.

“The committee, they basically attacked - well, verbally attacked -Y/N when they saw her coming out of the male toilets with Jisung.”

Mark frowned, already getting riled up at the thought of what kind of things they could have said to you.

“They were talking to her as if she’d brought Jisung to the toilet to do....things with him, and they sort of told her that you weren’t doing that great of a job as someone in charge and asked her if she manipulated you into being at her ‘beck and call’ too…and- I don’t know there was a lot of things. They sort of put her on the spot,” Mark fell silent, the only thing he could liken his emotions to was a washing machine with his anger just busily rolling around in his mind and heart.

“Okay before you get mad, or more mad actually, the rest of the gang and I were saying that we wanted to respect her decision of not wanting to make this a big deal-”

“Wait so the rest of the guys know what happened already? I’m the last one to know?”

Renjun sucked in a sharp breath, “well....yeah,”

Mark ran his fingers through his hair for what must’ve been the hundredth time that night, “What the hell...why didn’t she tell me?”

“I mean-” Mark stood up suddenly, shocking Renjun. Mark fiddled with his phone, quickly thumbing out a message to ask you where you were.

12:18am -huh, why? i was just about to go to the sleeping area-

Mark 12:18 am -wait for me at the door-

Mark pocketed his phone quickly, “sorry, man, I gotta go.”

“Okay, fine, just totally abandon your friend who just gave you important information. It’s fine with me,” Renjun threw his hands up in exaggerated offence.

Mark was anticipating some sort of dramatic confrontation to happen when he reached the door but when he actually saw you in front of him, he’d felt as though he’d lost all the words he wanted to say.

You were relatively quiet since you weren’t sure how Mark was feeling, but you let him do the usual and bring mattresses for the both of you to lay it on the stage.

Since you were already tired beyond belief from the events that happened during the day, you didn’t refuse this time to lay in your sleeping bag and get ready to sleep, hearing Mark mumble something next to you, making you turn your head to face him, a small hum escaping your lips.

“What happened this afternoon?” he asked you, his voice clear enough that you wouldn’t have mistaken him to be saying something else. Though at this time of the night, you were desperate to give him answers to his questions so you could go to sleep, simply choosing to tell him what you thought he was asking you.

“Jisung wasn’t feeling well, he said he felt like throwing up so I brought him to the toilet.”

You heard a silence from him, assuming he was finished with his questions, “I’m gonna sleep no-”

“I asked about you, not about Jisung.”

You were too tired to realize the annoyance in his tone, turning to face him, eyebrows furrowing, “me? Nothing happened to be I mean yeah sure seeing him puke kind of made me want to puke but-”

“God, why the f-“ he stopped himself, looking at you before letting out a shaky breath, “when will you just put yourself first for once,” he turned around in his sleeping bag so his back was facing you.

“Mark,” you whispered, hoping he would turn around.

“Mark,” you murmured again, “Mark. Turn around, what are you trying to say?” you reached out a hand to shake him gently on the shoulder, feeling him grip your hand tightly, peeling it off his shoulder.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.”

===

The next morning you weren’t surprised to have woken up and found that Mark wasn’t next to you, and you hated the looks of confusion Donghyuck was giving you as to why you weren’t talking to Mark that morning. Making your way downstairs with Jaemin to have breakfast, you chose not to bother Mark more since he obviously seemed annoyed with you for some reason.

“Are you feeling better?....you know, after yesterday?” Jaemin asked, concern laced in his tone.

You shrugged, “If I were being honest....I feel even worse. I thought it would be okay, you know, after it got brought up during the debrief but..” you shrugged, trailing off as you collected your breakfast from the servers, waiting for Jaemin to collect his drink. “But I don’t know, Mark said something to me last night and he sounded pretty annoyed at me and it just made me feel...like shit I guess,” you shrugged again.

Leading you to the table where Donghyuck and Chenle were sat at, you’d joined them for breakfast, Jaemin successfully cheering you up after you’d seen Mark come into the canteen and leave with Renjun shortly after, not even remembering to take his breakfast with him, yet something in you knew you couldn’t exactly tell him to eat his breakfast now.

“Dude what’s wrong with you? I thought you would’ve worked things out with her by now?” Renjun waved his hands frantically in front of a zoned-out Mark’s face.

“Huh?”

“Why, are you, so awkward, with her?” Renjun said slowly, pausing between the sentence to break down each word for Mark with a sarcastic tone.

Mark made a disgruntled sound in response. “I just need to calm down first, okay? Everytime I see her I just think of what happened and why she didn’t wanna tell me. If I confronted her about it now what would I even say?” Mark frowned, “oh yeah I’m in love with you lol haha ttyl? It’s not that simple, Renjun.”

Renjun’s mouth dropped open, poorly stifling his laugh at whatever you could call what Mark just did.

“Mark... you know I love you but...but if she still loves you after that kind of confession, that’s how you know it’s real love.”

Mark whined, “shut up, Renjun.”

“Where is she anyway?” Mark did his best to sound nonchalant but it was hard to act nonchalant when you seemed to be completely fine at your table playing games with the guys and being so close to Jaemin, and no, Mark didn’t care if the game required you to cross hands with the person next to you because to Mark any contact with Jaemin was just automatically deemed unnecessary.

Mark saw you jump away from Jaemin and look and his direction, not even realizing why until Renjun took the megaphone out of his hand.

“What are you doing!” Renjun clicked a button on the megaphone to stop the siren, talking into it, “sorry guys false alarm.”

Shoving the megaphone back into Mark’s chest, a muffled grunt sounding from Mark, Renjun shook his head in disappoinment, “times like this I really need to remind myself why I’m your friend.”

===

Later on in that day, the committee had separated everyone into different groups to carry out the clean-up for the respective areas, and your assigned area was the carpark, which meant you were busy lugging around heavy buckets of water around the carpark in an attempt to clean it without slipping on the water and falling.

Your pants were rolled up to your knees and you were struggling to carry up a bucket to the second floor of the basement with Chenle because the more he laughed the more the water tended to spill over to your side of the bucket. Once you had set the bucket down, you thought you could finally take a break but you heard Jeno calling you over to where he was.

“Y/N, can you please go to the canteen to help shift the stuff upstairs?”

You hesitated, since your feet and slippers were already so wet, shifting the things upstairs in your condition now was just going to be a pain in the ass that you didn’t really want to deal with right now.

“Please, please please, I’m really busy right now, I’ll buy you a drink when we’re done or something,” he clasped his hands in front of him in a begging action.

Your eyes widened in interest, “I get to decide what drink it is?”

“Yeah sure of course!” You grinned in response, running ( or trying your best to with your wet slippers ) up the stairs to the canteen, looking around to see who you were supposed to help until you saw Mark, the instinctive urge to pick flight instead of fight taking over you.

You decided there was no going back now since you did want that free drink after all, so you made your way over to where Mark was, seeing his eyes widen at the sight of you there instead of Jeno.

“What are you doing here? I called Jeno.”

“Oh, uh...he was busy with stuff so he told me to come up to help instead,” you told Mark, not missing the way he kept shifting his weight from foot to foot, bringing a hand up to grasp the back of his neck.

“Do you want me to leave? I can like call someone else to come here instead-”

“Yeah,” he breathed, your eyes widening in response. “Wait!, I mean, no! I mean, like- Jeno, no wait, you-” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath in and out, facing you with a serious expression.

“Don’t leave. Just help me shift this stuff upstairs.” He handed you two boxes stacked on top of each other. Not wanting to get in his way, you decided to turn to walk the other way up the stairs but you seemed to have turned too sharply, the smooth surface of the floor and the water on your slipper causing you to trip, landing roughly on the floor, boxes scattered elsewhere as the only thing you could focus on was the sharp pain that shot through your ankle.

Mark had immediately put down whatever he was holding, shocked sounds escaping him at an uncontrollable rate as he made his way to your side, asking you if you were okay, his eyes scanning your limbs rapidly to see if you had injured yourself.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, whatever’s in those boxes must be broken because of me-“

“Even now you’re still thinking of the boxes?” he gave you a displeased look.

“Huh?” you frowned.

“I mean, whatever was in the boxes was probably really important....”

He shot you a look, “so are you, you know....you’re like....” he looked away, “important...and stuff.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that threatened to bubble from your throat, “oh my God, please shut up and get me off the floor before you continue.”

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Mark asked, making you snort in reply.

“Yeah, my heart.”

“Huh?”

“My leg, Mark. My ankle really hurts,” you pointed at your ankle, letting him hobble you over to the nearest bench you could find, awkwardly trying to point your gaze elsewhere when he knelt down in front of you and took off your slipper, “oh my-Mark don’t, that’s gross! Please, my feet are wet!”

“Shut up, can you just-“ he shot you a look, “let me do this, I know what I’m doing. This happened to the basketball guys all the time.”

You nodded slowly, still trying to avoid looking at him in fear that you’d get even more shy than you were now.

“That was like a metaphor, you know, in case you didn’t get it.”

“Mark, I didn’t take literature,” you added pointedly, earning an eye roll from him, choosing to press particularly hard on your ankle at that point.

“Sorry if I...you know, annoyed you last night or something,” you muttered, finally making eye contact with him when he looked up at you with an unreadable expression.

“No, I sort of was being a dick to you last night... I was just kind of...stressed I guess,” he shrugged, continuing to massage at your feet.

“Look, Mark. You obviously know about everything that happened yesterday afternoon right?” he looked up to nod at you, “and you can say that you weren’t the least bit worried?”

He let out a scoff, “What? Of course I was worried! I was so pissed off-”

“Mark that’s precisely why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place! I knew that you had a lot going on and a lot that you needed to take care of, and worrying about me was the last thing I wanted to add to your list of things to do,” you told him, seeing his ears start to tint red.

“Yeah but how do you think it feels for the girl I like to leave me out of things like this?” he asked you, a challenging tone laced in his voice.

“Wait, you like me?” you asked.

Mark’s eyes widened, “shit, wait...that was not how I planned to tell you.”

He let go of your leg, standing up and taking a seat next to you, turning his body to face you. “Okay, rewind. Pretend I didn’t say that,” you nodded at him, trying your best to stifle your laugh but you could feel yourself grinning widely at him.

“I like....wait, do you have a thing with Jaemin?” He narrowed his eyes at you, using his index finger and middle finger to cross each other.

You burst out laughing at that, especially because Mark’s sincere pout made it even funnier, “no, of course not. Who even told you that?”

Mark let out an annoyed groan, “not important, anyway. As I was saying, I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t want to impose anything on you, not with the whole possible Jaemin situation anyway. Also because...you know.....secret boy stuff.”

“Secret boy stuff?” you quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I was scared, okay?” he glanced up nervously at you before looking down at his interlocked fingers and continuing, “I thought...it’d be weird for us to keep being friends if you didn’t feel the same way, and I didn’t want things to just end like that, you know?”

You nodded slowly, “I get it, you and your secret boy stuff,” you smiled, reaching out a hand to pat him on the head.

“I guess I only realized how much I actually...oh my god this is so embarrassing to say but...I only realized how much I liked you when I heard what those committee members said to you. And I just, kind of, felt really horrible because of how I was just over here acting like I was having the hardest time when you were too.”

“You weren’t acting, Mark.”

He contemplated mentioning to you how he sometimes pretended to be busy with work so you would give him attention but decided against it, lest you stopped doing that.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better…I like you too, you know,” you told him, enjoying the way his eyes widened, his gaze immediately flitting elsewhere from being too shy to keep your gaze.

This time it was Mark’s turn to laugh, shaking his head as a soft smile found its way onto his features, “we’re kind of stupid, aren’t we?”

You looked at him, not being able to resist smiling at the sight of him, “very,” you nodded your head.

===

The last day of the camp brought the usual, photo taking, bag packing, you and Jeno bringing the leftover snacks from the camp home for yourselves. Everything seemed as if it was just like any other camp, but Mark was insistent on finding every opportunity to remind you he was dating you now.

“Here, let me carry your bag,” he offered as you were walking down the stairs to the front entrance of your church, saying goodbye to the campers that walked past the both of you to leave.

“Mark, just put it on the floor we’re not even leaving yet.”

Donghyuck snickered at your comment, holding out his bag in front of Mark, “I’ll gladly let you carry mine.”

“You guys need a lift? My mom’s sending me home,” Chenle jogged over to you guys, earning murmurs of ‘no’s and ‘its okay’s except for the ‘yes please’ that Renjun squeaked out, practically wobbling under the weight of his duffel bag.

“My mom can send you back, unless you’re coming over to my place?” Mark told you, or more like asked you.

You hummed, “I don’t know, I kind of feel like going home and taking a good shower, maybe I’ll come over after that?”

Mark grinned, nodding in approval.

“You guys haven’t gotten enough of each other yet? I’ve seen enough of Jaemin to last me 5 years,” Renjun shot you and Mark a disgusted look.

You were caught off guard when Mark slung his hand over your shoulder, pulling you closer rather abruptly, squishing your face against him “never,” he said confidently.

Gagging sounds resounded around the group, Donghyuck letting out a pained groan, “I kind of miss when they weren’t aware of each other’s feelings now,” he cringed, earning a high five from Renjun.

“I think it’s kind of cute,” Chenle piped up, earning a handshake from Mark, “thanks for the support, man.”

Jaemin burst out laughing, “Chenle’s opinion doesn’t count he thinks everything is cute.”

You saw Mark’s mom’s car drive into the church, nudging Mark gently, “hey, your mom is here.”

After saying goodbye to the guys you got into the car, not missing the knowing look Mark’s mom was giving Mark but choosing not to say anything about it.

“Y/N’s coming over later, mom, so you can cook more for dinner.”

“uh-huh, alright,” she smiled. She’d already heard from Donghyuck about what happened that very morning when she met him in the church so she wasn’t surprised in the least, especially when she heard from Donghyuck about how Mark was so shy he had to stop to giggle first before asking if he could hold your hand.

You were home sooner than you’d wanted to be, stepping out of the car and bidding Mark and his mom goodbye with a ( too breathless-sounding ) “see you later” and once you were gone, Mark let out a big sigh, fanning his face as he made eye contact with his mom in the rear-view mirror.

“Finally, huh.”

“Well, you know...I like her.... and stuff.”

[its-an-inxp-again]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[toutallyahoe]

Flirt 3 ~ Shinsō Hitoshi (BNHA)

Requested By: --

A/N: remember that time i said that FLIRT's chapter was only supposed be around 800 to 1500 words? yeah, good times...

THIS HAS FUCKING 4800 WORDS YALL ASDFGHJKLL AND I AM CRYING HELP

there was only supposed to be three parts but the gremlin's in my mind decided to add the "text" part and had to adjust my fucking plan on this chapter asdfghjkl

thi is like, the longest chapter-- SO FAR-- that i written and asdfghjkl *sobs*

anyways, there is so much had happened here and im dying

Flirt | Flirt 2 | Flirt 3

─────────────────

[Name] let out a loud groan leaving his lips as he dramatically slumped on his chair. A pout formed on his lips as he elicited another loud groan. The [Hair color] haired male did not spare mind to the curious glances he recieved from his curious classmates who still stayed in their classroom for a lunch break. The [Hair color] haired male had his usual mood simmer downed than his most commonly known to be energetic and all over the place self. But right now, [Name] does not have the energy to goof off nor interact with other people as he was still reeling in from what happened days ago on that friendly outing he took Hitoshi to that cat cafe, CC Cafe.

[Name] slammed his head down on his table which caused a loud bang from the contact of his forehead to the table's surface. The [Hair color] haired male's classmates spared him another curious and worrying glances as they never usually in these type of situations of [Name] being like this. Being an overdramatic gloomy dumbass.

"Wahhh! Aki-chan, Haru-chan!!! He just says 'whatever'!" [Name] said as he raised his head up from the table and looked at the direction of two of his classmates that he was more close than the others in the room. There was a large red imprint on the [Skin color] part of his forehead from slamming his head but [Name] was too thick skulled to feel the light stinging sensation of the bruise.

"Whatever! Whatever-- Aki-chan! Haru-chan!!! " [Name] comically sobbed as he then wailed on how cold Hitoshi was. The [Hair color] haired male putting emphasis on the word 'whatever' as the red haired student named Aki Akaha who could careless from his [Hair color] haired friend's usual bullshit, rolled his eyes at the [Hair color] haired male's dramatic tendencies.

"And why am I being subjected into hearing this?" Aki had asked as he crossed his arms over his chest when he heard the [Hair color] haired male let out a cry of shock with his words.

"U-um, come one Aki-kun!" The brown haired male with sandy blond tips that he bleached a year ago, Haru Shirohana, awkwardly butted in as he patted the [Hair color] haired male's back who was sobbing on Aki being like a certain indigo haired student who was three classrooms away from them. Cold and uncaring.

Aki knew why [Name] was consoling to him on his failed confession to this 'mysterious person' [Name] was always gushing about. It was probably the fact that Aki was only the very few to see [Name] was a human like them and not a person with this shiny pedestal that everyone should bow down. To make it blunt, Aki Akaha does not take [Name]'s bullshit seriously like others do.

Haru Shirohana on the other hand felt pity for the [Hair color] haired male. [Name] was someone who always wore his heart on his sleeves. He was very passionate guy and from all the past conversations [Name] had to him and Aki, it was safe to say that [Name] liked this 'mysterious person' he tends to gush about. Honestly, Haru always remembered how [Name]'s [Eye color] eyes just sparkle on talking this person to them even though [Name] never had mentioned who this student was. Although Haru didn't have to be smart to guess that it was probably that brainwashing guy three classrooms away from them. [Name] wasn't that slick as he think he was... unfortunately...

"Aki-kun!!! I thought you were my friend!" [Name] cried as he looked at the red haired male with a baffled expression on his face. [Name]'s cries snapped Haru out from his thoughts as he let out an awkward laugh at both his friends.

"Now, come on guy--"

"Key word, thought," Aki retorted. The red head snorted when he saw the offended look the [Hair color] haired male sent to him.

"Aki-kun!!!" Haru called out to the red haired male who gave him a glance. Aki saw the frown that the brown haired male with sandy blond tips disappointing gaze at him. With a sigh, Aki rolled his eyes again as he uncrossed his arms.

"Alright, fine," Aki grunted. "Oi, [Name] dumbass."

The said male let out a sniff as he pouted at his red haired friend's nickname. Aki rolled his eyes again when he heard [Name] muttered a 'meanie' to him. Honestly, the [Hair color] haired male was like a five years old with his 'insults'... if you can call those insults ajyways with how childish it sounds. The red haired male can only clicked his tongue in annoyance at [Name]'s tendecies to be a little brat.

"About your... delima," Aki started as he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes again. "Can it be that you are not trying hard enough?"

Haru let out a hum of agreement with what Aki had just said as he turned to look at [Name]. The brown haired male with sandy blond tips immediately sweatdropped when he saw [Name]'s glare directed at the red haired male for a second but it immediately disappeared as it came which almost made Haru thought he imagined things if he wasn't close to [Name] to know how the male usually acts. [Name] glared, Haru can say that for sure but the [Hair color] haired male then came back to his usual, normal self... sort off...

[Name] pouted at Aki's words. The [Hair color] haired male dramatically threw himself to his table and let out a wail. "But Aki-kun!" The [Hair color] haired whined. "I literally said I like him! I even brought him to this new cat cafe!" He cried. [Name], in fact, did. He took Hitoshi out and paid for everything.

"I paid for everything!" [Name] cried as he then sulked on his chair. Sending the red haired a small pout. "I mean, isn't that what dating is? Go out and eat?" [Name] then childsihly pippeed and Aki had to stop himself from facepalming so hard from the [Hair color] haired male's words. Haru on the other hand looked at the [Hair color] haired male incredulously.

"Um... [Name]-kun..." Haru awkwardly started but was cut off by the red haired male who was so tired already with the [Hair color] haired male's bullshit..

"Tell me, [Name]-san," Aki started as he exasperatedly looked at the [Hair color] haired male who perked up when he heard his name. "Did you really ask this "friend" of yours on a date," Aki said as he then frowned. 'No one can be that dumb... right?' The red haired male thoight. "Or did you just asked them in a friendly outing?"

[Name] pondered for a moment as he rubbed his chin, thinking deeply on Aki's words while both Aki and Haru seemed to be more baffled on what he was doing. 'Is he seriously... THINKING IF HE HAD ASKED THEM ON A DATE OR NOT?!?' Aki exasperatedly thought as his fingers twitched. God, he wanted to strangle this [Hair color] haired dumbass so badly. May the deities above give him patience.

Haru seemed to notice how their red haired friend wanted to strangle the [Hair color] haired male and immediately jumped besides Aki and grabbed the male's shoulder to stop Aki from doing anything to [Name].

"Now, now, Aki-kun!" Haru said in panic as he took a step back away from [Name], dragging the furious red head along with him. "[Name]-kun isn't that stupid!" Haru said. 'Right...?' The brown haired with sandy blond tips thought as he heard the red head he was trying to stop doing anything stupid to [Name] scoffed at his words.

"This dumbass doesn't even know what a date is Haru!" Aki had said as he growled when [Name] said his answer.

"Well... I think I said that he and I should hang out..." The [Hair color] haired male muttered as he then sent his two friends a pout. "But it's still a date right?!? I mean, it was only the two of us and everything!" [Name] had said as he threw his hands in the air in frustration as he made an angry pout. "I like him a lot, so why can't anyone believe me?!?" He cried in despair.

'[Name]... you really are clueless...' Haru had thought as he sighed. Why was he friends with the most well loved and flirty male yet clueless to dating? The brown haired male with sandy blond tips doesn't know. Someone please help him.

"Why... you--!!!" Aki growled as he glared at the [Hair color] haired male who looked confused at them. The red haired male tried to get out of Haru's grip to try and tackle [Name]. God, he wanted to strangle this [Hair color] haired dumbass so much.

"Hey, [Last name]-kun?" The three male's turned to the direction of the call to see their class president by the doorway of their classroom smiling. The said male seemed to brightened when he saw the female as his sulking mood immediately disappeared as the [Hair color] haired male then beamed to her a smile. [Name] stood up from his seat and happily went towards the female who gave him a polite smile. [Name] leaving the two male's confused on the [Hair color] haired male's mood shift.

"Yo, Hana-chan!" [Name] happily greeted as he sling one of his arm on the female's neck and brought her close to him in a side hug. The female let out a soft giggle as a pink hue coating her cheeks. "How is my lovely president doing?" [Name] purred. The [Hair color] haired male seemed to not know how his words can impact someone. Especially his choice of saying 'my' to the female who's blush bloomed to a rich color of red now.

Haru and Aki looked at [Name] as he continued to talk to the female with deadpanned expression on their faces. Aki was now out of Haru's grip since there was no sense to stop the red haired male anymore. As they watched, the two remembered what [Name] had cried to them earlier ago and they figured out the answer why.

"I like him a lot, so why can't anyone believe me?!?"

'Maybe it's because you flirt with everyone...' The two male's simultaneously thought as they continue to watch their friend unconsciously flirt with their class president.

   -

The day already gone as Hitoshi watches in the corner of his purple eyes that his classmates were already leaving out of the room. The indigo haired male let out a sigh as he laid his head on his table, looking at the classroom doors and waited for a certain [Hair color] haired loudmouth to burst in and create a scene. Actually, Hitoshi raised a brow as he raised his head a bit to turn and look at the wall clock hanging on the wall to see it was already ten minutes after dismissals, and there wasn't a certain [Hair color] haired male already inside Hitoshi's classroom and began to pester the indigo haired male.

'Odd... where the hell is he?' Hitoshi had thought as he raised himself and looked around the room. The indigo don't know if he should've been happy or not to not have [Name] yapping his ear off. Usually, the [Hair color] haired male was already here, inside with him even before his teacher gets out as [Name] has the patience of a bratty five year old wanting to go outside and play on a sunny day.

The indigo haired male waited for a bit, thinking [Name] was late, not that it wasn't uncommon occurence anyways since the indigo haired male gladly remembered that outing they had some days ago where [Name] was late. Hitoshi knows that [Name] does have a rather shitty time management skills anyways and he fully knows that well. But after another ten minutes or so of waiting, the indigo haired male frowned on his seat. Hitoshi may have always say that the [Hair color] haired male was annoying as hell all the damn time, but the male was still his friend. His only friend for the matter. And Hitoshi knows that [Name] may be late at times, but Hitoshi also know that [Name] has never been late on picking him up on dismissals.

Sighing, Hitoshi picked up his bag and went out of the room. The indigo haired male's eyebrows furrowed and looked at each side of the hallways to see no sign of his [Hair color] haired friend who usually waited outside his room if the male didn't barged in like a lunatic. With another sigh, the indigo haired male decided to try and find his friend.

"God... where is that idiot," Hitoshi muttered to himself as he trudge along the halls of Nabu Middle School. The indigo haired male did not pay mind to the eyes of some of the students in the hallways followed him. There were chatter but Hitoshi did not pay mind to them, he wasn't one for gossip anyways. Hitoshi hated rumors with a passion, and it made him develope a mindset to never pay attention to those types of gossip. Besides, a lot of those were false anyways. Especially the gossip circulating him being a villain and such. Now, that is a very false gossip and Hitoshi absolutely hated it.

Clicking his tongue, Hitoshi tried to think on where [Name] would be. 'If I were an idiot... where would I be?' The indigo haired male thought as he mused about it. Hitoshi's didn't came up with an answer but the indigo haired male was too tired to care anyways. Hitoshi decided to just walk around aimlessly for a bit, if he doesn't find [Name] in the next couple of minutes, maybe he should just leave. But Hitoshi then thinks that the [Hair color] haired male would immediately bombard him with text messages and probably annoy him when they meet face to face again. Actually, [Name] would definitely annoy him when they meet face to face again.

"Hey, who's that girl with [Last name]-kun in the courtyard?" Hitoshi perked up at the mention of his friend's last name. The indigo haired male stopped and tried to discreetly listened to a few girls that weren't far away from him. 'So he's in the courtyard...' Hitoshi had thought as he listened. The indigo haired male did not know why he didn't just leave already as he found out about the [Hair color] haired male's whereabouts. But for some reason, Hitoshi stayed for a bit, curious about the girl that was with [Name].

"Huh? You don't know? That's Kohaku Hana," Her friend had said in a matter of fact tone. "Kohaku-san is [Last name]-kun's class president," the girl explained as she let out an angry pout. "She's really close to him."

"Oh, is that why they are together right now?" Another one pipe. Her words made the indigo haired male frown. 'Together? Close? What???' Hitoshi thought. 'Wait... why am I listening to this anyways???' The indigo haired male had asked himself. Hitoshi did not like gossip. Period. So why was he listening to this again? 'This'll be just for laughs...' Hitoshi had thought. 'Yeah... this'll be just for shits and giggles.'

"I don't know, maybe Kohaku-san and [Last name]-kun are a couple!"

"Awe, Kohaku-san should feel lucky then!" Third girl had said.

"Yeah, [Last name]-kun is just-- gah! I want to be his girlfriend!" The first girl whined.

"Woah, calm down Aoi-chan! Maybe they aren't!"

"I doubt it, they were pretty close from what I heard."

The group of girls gossiped to one another as they then walked away from their spot. Hitoshi's eyebrows furrowed. 'Couple...?' The indigo haired male thought as he gripped the sling of his bag tightly. The indigo haired male didn't know what to feel about the news he just heard. Hitoshi didn't want to believe it. He didn't really need to believe it anywas but there was that tint voice in the back of his mind that maybe this rumor was true, and it made him feel something inside him churn.

'But that idiot would already have said anything if he does have a girlfriend...' Hitoshi had rationally thought as he decided to go to the courtyard as what he had heard from the group of girls that [Name] was there.

Hitoshi was already in the entrance of the courtyard and lo and behold, there stood [Name] and a girl with maroon colored hair that braided neatly. The two seemed to be enjoying themselves as [Name] and Hana were sitting in one of the benches in the courtyard, and Hitoshi did not miss on how close the two were sitting together side by side as they were talking. Hana would occasionally giggle at whatever [Name] was saying. The [Hair color] haired male was comically gesturing as he spoke and Hutoshi saw that the both of them have smiles plastered on their lips.

As the indigo haired male watched, there was something inside him churned in a nasty sort of way. There was that bitter taste in his mouth as he watches his friend can just talk casually to this female. Hitoshi didn't know why or what that feeling was, but Hitoshi fully knew that he did not liked it. He did not liked it one bit.

'What the hell am I feeling?' Hitoshi thought in frustration as he finally got fed up by watching the [Hair color] haired male interact with the maroon haired female and turned around to leave. The indigo haired male frowned as he really did not know why he felt this way. What was he feeling anyways?

'Am I... Am I jealous...?' Hitoshi had thought as he stopped walking for a moment. Looking back at how he acted and felt right now, it seemed like he was. The rational part of his mind was screaming that he was, in deed, jealous. But what and why?

Shaking his head, the indigo haired male let out a huff of irritation. 'Why would I be jealous?' Hitoshi thought to himself as he continue walking again. He wasn't jealous. Why would he be? Hitoshi wasn't definitely jealous at how [Name] acted to that female. Well, maybe Hitoshi does. This wasn't the first time the indigo haired male feel the bitter fangs of jealousy bit him. Hitoshi always feel that nasty feeling of jealousy a lot of times, especially how it reminds him that [Name] was a popular guy. Hitoshi gets reminded that [Name] can freely can interact with people without be on guard with whatever he would say or do. He could approach anyone and they would actually smile at him and not be sneered.

The indigo haired male hated to see [Name] interact with people without care in the world. Hitoshi absolutely hated it because it always reminded him what he can not do. Hitoshi gets reminded that [Name] was popular and has many other friends that wasn't him. Hitoshi was jealous with [Name]. He wasn't jealous at that female who can freely talk to the [Hair color] haired male and laugh along with him without judgemental eyes staring at them. No, Hitoshi knows he was jealous of [Name]. No one else.

Hitoshi liked to believe he was. The indigo haired male rationalized that that was the cause of his bitter jealousy that he was feeling. Nothing else. What can he be jealous about anyways other than that? Hitoshi was sure. He's sure he was.

So why does it feels like he was wrong?

   -

The indigo haired male out a groan leaving his lips as he threw his bag on the floor and then flopped onto his bed, not even bother to change out from his uniform as he was too tired. Hitoshi felt his entire body relaxed. Currently, Hitoshi was already in his bedroom of his home. The indigo haired male had only arrived a few moments ago after he had decided to just leave without telling the [Hair color] haired male. Hitoshi's mind had argued that the [Hair color] haired male was rather busy anyways on entertaining that Hana girl he saw.

The indigo haired male rolled his body as he was now facing the ceiling of his room. That feeling was still there. The feeling of uncertainty and Hitoshi did not liked it. He was frustrated at why he was feeling all moopy and drained. 'I just need some sleep.' Hitoshi has thought as he let out a breath and closed his eyes. Hitoshi was about to sleep when he heard his phone's ringtone. Turning, Hitoshi grabbed his phone and he immediately saw a notification that made him frown.

Idiot (◕ω◕✿) sent (2) messages

Hitoshi let out a groan. The indigo haired male did not want to deal with this right now. Hitoshi switched his phone off and was about to just throw it beside him when it went on again and showed that he recieved another text messages. With a tired sigh, Hitoshi decided to just read the messages and reply. Maybe then [Name] can go away for a bit. Even just for a tiny bit.

TO: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

FROM: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

HITO-CHAN!!! (ू ˃︿˂ ू)

[03:45 PM]

WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!? \(T□T)/

[03:45 PM]

HITO-CHAN!!! (ू ˃□˂ ू)

[03:46 PM]

ANSWER MEEEEEEEE (╥﹏╥)

[03:46 PM]

Hitoshi blankly looked at the screen of his phone which displayed the text message from the [Hair color] haired male. With a tired sigh, the indigo haired male decided to reply.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

i wasnt feeling well

[03:48 PM]

had to go home immediately so i did

[03:48 PM]

Hitoshi looked at the two text he had sent. The indigo haired male bit his bottom lip as he then let out another sigh. Why did he send that? "Wasn't feeling well?" That was a lie... right...?

Hitoshi shakes his head. No. It wasn't a lie. He did feel unwell... why was he feeling guilty anyways?

Why was he feeling this way? He doesn't know. The indigo haired male was tired.

There was a buzz on his hand and the indigo haired male looked at the screen of his phone to see that the [Hair color] haired male had replied. It was almost instantly which honestly made Hitoshi amused for a bit.

TO: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

FROM: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

EH?!? Σ(°△°|||)︴

[03:49 PM]

SERIOUSLY?!?

[03:49 PM]

YOU BETTER REST THEN HITOSHI!!! DONT WANT YA TO GET MORE SICK!!! (」°ロ°)」

[03:50 PM]

TAKE CARE ALRIGHT HITOSHI OR ELSE ヾ(｀⌒´メ)ノ″

[03:51 PM]

love you (✿ づ◡ w ◡)づ ♡♡♡

[03:53 PM]

The corner of the indigo haired male's lips twitched upward. A smile threatening to makes it way to his lips as Hitoshi read the [Hair color] haired male's text. For some odd reason, that bitter feeling Hitoshi had felt from school until he arrived at his home seemed to be replaced by something warm. It was... nice.

'Love... huh...' The indigo haired male thought as he looked at the last two text the [Hair color] haired male sent to him. To take care of himself and sending an "i love you" with a stupidly cute kaomoji that [Name] always love to send along with his texts. 'Does he always mean saying those stuff?' The indigo haired male wondered.

Hitoshi realized what he was thinking and immediately shakes his head to get those thoughts out of his head in a flustered manner. The indigo haired male did not need this. [Name] is just a dumb male who needs to stop being all openly affectionate to everyone.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

whatever

[04:03 PM]

-

"HITO-CHAN!!!" Hitoshi braced himself and there came the impact of a certain [Hair color] haired male barrelling towards him then colliding at his back. Hitoshi felt deja vu at that moment as this scene seemed to be familiar. It probably was from how it had recently happened days ago when he was waiting for the [Hair color] haired male to go to that cat cafe and [Name] threw himself at Hitoshi's back.

This time it was no different as [Name] threw himself on the indigo haired male's back. Hitoshi let out a pained grunt as he felt [Name]'s weight on his back and how the [Hair color] haired male's [Skin color] arms wrapped around his neck tightly. The [Hair color] haired male then began to nuzzle his face on the crook of the indigo haired male's neck. Hitoshi's face flushed red at his friend's affectionate gesture. Honestly, Hitoshi wonders if this guy even knows what personal space is.

"Flirt, get off me!!!" Hitoshi had yelled out in embarrassment as he tried to unwrapped [Name]'s arms off of his neck. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for [Name], the [Hair color] haired male's hold was rather tight and Hitoshi doesn't have the enough energy or strength to peel [Name] off of him.

The [Hair color] haired male didn't mind the indigo haired male's futile efforts to take away his hold as [Name] perked at what Hitoshi just called him. "Flirt...?" [Name] asked out loud.

"Did I leveled up from "idiot" to "flirt"...?" The [Hair color] haired male had asked. Amusement on hsi tone which did not go unnoticed by the indigo haired male who's face flushed in either embarrassed or anger. Perhaps both as Hitoshi harshly elbowed [Name]'s stomach. The [Hair color] haired male let out a pained yelp as he immediately wrapped his arms off of Hitoshi to wrap on his hurting stomach.

"Why did you do that Hito-chan?!?" [Name] asked as comical tears fell down his [Eye color] eyes. Hitoshi could only roll his eyes at his friend's overdramatic tendencies.

"That's what you get," Hitoshi had said as he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes again when he saw [Name] kneeling on the floor as he still held his aching stomach. "Oh, don't be so overdramatic you damn flirt," Hitoshi has hissed as [Name] sniffed at his friend's attitude. "And stop calling me Hito-chan goddammit!"

"Wahhh!!! Why are you such a meanie Hito-chan?!?" The [Hair color] haired male loudly cried. Why was his best friend so cruel? [Name] wonders that every single day.

"Shut up, flirt!" The indigo haired male had said as he turned around and began to walk away from the crying male. [Name] saw Hitoshi walking away and he immediately stood up and ran to the indigo haired male while muttering how mean the male was. As [Name] reached Hitoshi as he was walking side by side with the indigo haired male, the [Hair color] haired male let out a sigh.

"Hey, Hito-chan?" The [Hair color] haired male had called. The said male turned to look at him with a raised brow. Hitoshi hummed in response as he saw the [Hair color] haired male send him a beaming smile. "You're doing fine now, right? We'll walk together this time?"

It was merely an innocent question. But for some odd reason, Hitoshi remembered what he saw yesterday on seeing the [Hair color] haired male interact with that maroon haired female. How they both happily they chatted like there was no care in the world and how close they sat together. The indigo haired male remembered that bitter feeling of jealousy he felt. And now it came back again and sank its fangs onto Hitoshi as he continued to remembered yesterday.

The indigo haired male turned away from the [Hair color] haired male's peering [Eye color] eyes as Hitoshi looked in front of him with a hardened gaze. Hitoshi gripped the strap of his bag tightly as he felt his stomach churn. Why was he feeling like this again? Hitoshi didn't liked it. He didn't liked it one bit. "Whatever," Hitoshi had blankly said as he fasten his pace.

"Let's go already you, flirt. We'll be late!" And with that the indigo haired male left [Name] who stopped for a moment. The [Hair color] haired male felt that quick shift of demeanor from his friend. It was cold and made [Name] feel like he was freezing. The [Hair color] haired male doesn't know what happened on why his indigo haired friend's shift of demeanor but right now, he doesn't need to know. [Name] felt like Hitoshi won't share it to him anyways. The [Hair color] haired male realized that Hitoshi was already a block away from him as he then shakes his head and immediately jogged towards the indigo haired male's side.

"Wait up Hito-chan! Don't leave me behind!!!"

"Then don't be so slow you damn flirt!"

"You're such a meanie Hito-chan!!!"

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