#Im wavering between trying to push through

[raksh-writes]

I have the second of the worst exams ever tomorrow and I SHould be studying and making more notes for it rn, but instead I can barely focus bcs my brain's being squeezed into a pulp in my head with the migraine that's been inching on me since yesterday's evening. I hate it here ;_;

[alyrasturnz]

im so tireddddd of matt being the broken one and y/n being the comforting one

pls create a fic about this “how can you love someone like me” “how can i not love someone like you?” but like y/n is the broken one with a really bad and dark past and really hesitant and js has her walls up

make it a short blurb pls! just the argument and nothing more ty

HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME?

❐ summary » two souls clash with raw emotion. y/n, weighed down by past scars and self-doubt, questions their worthiness of love. matt sees beyond the flaws, recognizing the true beauty within.

❐ pairings » bf!matt x fem!reader

❐ warnings » slight angst but mainly fluff and matt comforting reader

❐ a/n && w/c » hey bae! hope this was short enough and what you wanted • 1.12k

you find yourself in a room where the shadows seem to whisper secrets, the air heavy with the weight of unsaid thoughts. matt moves restlessly, his agitation almost tangible. with a voice that quivers, caught between anger and sorrow, you finally break the silence, "how can you love someone like me?"

he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes locking onto yours with a look of disbelief that seems to pierce through your very soul. "how can i not love someone like you?" he retorts, his voice rising slightly with an edge of desperation. "you think you're unworthy, but you don't see what i see. you're everything to me."

"you don't understand," you murmur, shaking your head slowly, as if trying to dislodge the weight of your thoughts. "i'm flawed, broken in ways you can't even begin to fathom."

"everyone is flawed," he counters, taking a deliberate step closer. "but that doesn't make you any less deserving of love. you think your imperfections push me away, but they pull me in even more. they make you real, they make you human."

"i don't want to be a burden," you whisper, your voice trembling as tears well up in your eyes. "i don't want you to look back and regret choosing to be with me."

he reaches out, gently cupping your face in his hands. "i could never regret loving you," he murmurs, his eyes full of earnestness. "you make me better, you challenge me, you make me feel alive. don't you see? loving you isn't a choice; it's a necessity."

you pull away, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to shield your heart. "but what if i can't give you what you need?" you whisper, your voice fragile. "what if i'm not enough?"

he sighs, running a hand through his hair, a gesture heavy with contemplation. "you are enough, more than enough," he says softly. "love isn't about perfection; it's about acceptance, growth, and understanding. we can face any storm together, as long as we have each other."

"it's not that simple," you argue, your voice cracking as you wrap your arms around yourself even tighter. "there are things about me that you don't know," you continue, your eyes darting away to avoid his gaze, "things that could change everything."

"then tell me," he pleads, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that seems to pierce through your very soul. "let me in. let me love you, all of you, even the parts you think are unlovable."

you take a deep breath, the weight of your fears pressing down on you like an anchor dragging you down. “i’m scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the vulnerability of your confession.

"i'm scared too," he confesses, his voice softening like a gentle breeze. "but i'd rather face that fear with you than live without you. please, let me love you, every part, even the shadows you hide."

you look into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and love that radiates from him like a beacon in the dark. it's a love that you feel unworthy of, yet desperately crave. slowly, you nod, allowing yourself to believe, if only for a fleeting moment, that maybe, just maybe, you are deserving of his love.

"you don't know what you're asking," you say, your voice wavering like a fragile leaf in the wind. "loving me means accepting all my scars, my past, my mistakes, and the shadows that linger in my soul."

"i want to know everything," he insists, his grip on your shoulders firm but gentle, like an anchor in a storm. "i want to share your burdens, lighten your load. that's what love is about, isn't it? intertwining our souls, even in the darkest times?"

"but what if you can't handle it?" you challenge, your eyes searching his for any sign of doubt, like a lighthouse scanning the horizon. "what if my past is too much for you, an abyss too deep to fathom?"

"then we'll face it together," he replies without hesitation, his eyes locking onto yours with a fierce determination. he takes a deep breath, his grip on your shoulders tightening slightly as if to anchor you both in this moment. "i'm not afraid of your past. i'm more afraid of losing you because you think you're not worthy of love. you're my world, and i'm willing to fight for you."

you feel a tear slip down your cheek, tracing a path of vulnerability, and he wipes it away with a tenderness that feels almost sacred. "i don't deserve you," you whisper, your voice breaking like a fragile porcelain vase, revealing the depths of your insecurities.

"you deserve happiness and love just as much as anyone else," he says softly, his words wrapping around you like a warm embrace. "and i'm here to give you that, if you'll let me," he continues, his voice a gentle promise, echoing with sincerity and unwavering devotion.

"i don't know if i can," you admit, your heart aching with the weight of your insecurities, like a heavy fog that refuses to lift. "i don't know if i can be what you need," you continue, your voice trembling, each word a fragile confession of your deepest fears.

"you already are," he reassures you, his eyes filled with unwavering love, like a lighthouse guiding you through a storm. "you are everything i need and more. please, don't shut me out. let me prove to you that we can make this work," he implores, his voice a symphony of sincerity and hope, resonating deep within your soul.

you take a deep breath, feeling the walls you've built around your heart begin to crumble like ancient ruins succumbing to time. "okay," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "i'll try. but you have to promise me something."

"anything," he says, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze a steadfast anchor in the turbulent sea of your emotions.

"promise me that you'll be patient," you say, your voice trembling like a fragile leaf in the wind. "promise me that you won't give up on me, even when things get tough," you continue, each word a delicate plea woven with vulnerability and hope.

"i promise," he vows, pulling you into his arms with a tenderness that speaks volumes. "i'll never give up on you," he murmurs, his words a solemn oath, resonating with unwavering commitment.

as you stand there, wrapped in his embrace, you feel a glimmer of hope, like a faint star piercing through the night sky. maybe, just maybe, you can learn to love yourself the way he loves you. and in that moment, you realize that perhaps you are worthy of love after all, like a hidden treasure finally unearthed.

taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @stinkytinkywinky47 @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr

[venusvxen]

The 3D Cannot Create.. So Why Do You Create Fear?

I’ve been having a recent epiphany that has helped me understand the law better and helped me get rid of fear or at least self soothe when i feel fearful cus I don’t believe in stripping ourselves of our emotions…

I would say “the 3d cannot create” everyday for a YEAR but it wasn’t until a few days ago when i had a lightbulb moment… the 3D… really … cannot create.. it’s nothing more than a mirror… so why do I FEAR my shadow and expect it to show me something different.. why do i fool myself into believing i am the shadow and not the being that casts the shadow??

We fulfill ourselves within our imagination and get so stoked about our desire.. then we leave imagination and come down to the 3d world and bombarded with all the things the senses throw at you. now you start doubting.. you start counting down the time bc it’s been xyz long and you think it’ll never happen.. I literally always do this…

But then i thought to myself… the 3d cannot create any of those scenarios im envisioning… it’s my twin.. it is a shadow.. whatever I experience in the 4d is what i MUST experience in the 3d no matter what because self MUST be expressed

I’ll literally get so confident then expect the 3d to show me otherwise and be fearful and start asking myself what if it doesn’t happen and but if there is no separation between the 3d n 4d and all is imagination…. why would you NOT get it? … seriously… because the only way all those negative scenarios would happen is through persisting in them… it’s all imagination at the end of the day..

the relationship between the 3d and 4d is a simple input and output it’s just us who overcomplicate it because of all the baggage we’ve assigned to the law and all the things we’ve internalized about what we can or cannot do. if you assume something in imagination it MUST come to pass. just like if you go up you must come down. it’s a 1+1=2 situation and yet i complicate it so much…

but at the end of the day.. the materialization is guaranteed … because self must be expressed.. self is the only thing being expressed in this world bc the 3d cannot create..

after having this epiphany i’ve been able to self soothe and talk myself out of fear by reminding myself of this.. the 3d is my dutiful shadow. it follows in my footsteps.. whatever i experience in my real reality i must experience in the physical no matter what. I don’t care if it’s the day before an event and the pieces haven’t fell into place yet.. it MUST happen.. but only if you have confidence in this.. because I’ve noticed wavering is why we have wonky results..

but why do we waver?

We waver because deep down we think there is a separation between the imaginal and the physical. we think the physical is acting on its own outside of us and can create. which is why try as we might to maintain a state of confidence.. for the “big” things or the things that seem “out of reach”,, results may be spotty because we think our imaginal experiences aren’t enough and we convince ourselves that any of the things happening on the outside are out for our control

the truth is all that’s missing is confidence… a knowing.. an unshakeable conviction that what we say will happen MUST happen and WILL happen.. but the only way to do this is to truly understand that the 3d is your reflection and it can’t possibly show you anything you haven’t experienced…

I personally am now so so so excited for the end of the year and am looking forward to school (something i DREADED).. because i know a specific event MUST take place now which will change my life. why? because the real me experienced it in imagination and self must be expressed. why would my 3d show me something different unless i continuously waver and imagine something different.. if i experienced it why wouldn’t it push out? this realization has helped me be excited about things i was previously anxious about

i feel like the thing w the law is how “simple” it is but it’ll take you years to understand a simple concept. i hope you guys get what i’m saying here

[milllersfae]

˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ i was thinking about perv!abby earlier...

content warning: perverted behavior (a given), degradation, groping, teasing, size kink if you squint, fingering/masturbating (apologies if i forgot any!) minors do not interact.

abby had been toying with you all day. she played with the straps of your tank when you made an attempt at any action. she had prompted worthless conversations just to loom over you, catching a overhead view of your cleavage. she'd stand behind you to catch a glimpse of the curve of your ass that peaked through the shorts you wore. the tricks she played sent a sick thrill through you that you hated that you liked. that you craved more of.

now you had been standing in front of the mirror, washing yourself off of the days events and everything that clung to it. within a blink she entered, big hands wrapped around you waist, height hovering over yours. "you can't just stand in front of me looking like that." her voice ran smooth in your ear, tracing her palm against the thin fabric separating her from your warm skin. she placed needy kisses across your shoulders, watching you wash your face in soapy circles. you dare not feed her temptation, eyes wavering blank in your reflection. if you stared at what she was doing to you, your panties would be soaked. little did you know your arousal was inevitable, as abby patterned kisses behind your ear, hands cupping your breasts over your cami top. a subconscious whine escaped your lips as your eyes caught her hungry gaze, icy eyes stricken against your chest. "don't try to ignore me when your body is tellin' me how bad you want this." one hand moved upward as it pinched at your clothed pebble, sending heavy flutters into your heat.

she had you wrapped around her finger now, both hands swirling your nipples in slow circles. " stay straight ahead baby," she cooed, her grasp pinning your head in place. You felt a grip at your ass, abby's fingers gripping at the flesh. she fully immobilized you, your legs turning into jelly as she glided closer to your cunt. "don't move unless I tell you to." abby raised your top over your chest, immediately sucking at the skin, slowly grazing around the bud. soon she took them in, tongue flickering against the mound as your pressed your face deeper into you. she pinched at your back, a grip so punctured you felt a bruise start to form. "I fucking said still." she slightly bit it, sending a rolling moan out of you. She mummered low into your neck, shit-face grin placarding her face as she clutched your cheeks, forcing your lips into a kiss. "youre a fun lil' thing to play with." she praised before pressing her lips to yours. she slipped her tongue in your mouth sweetly, strapping a forearm tight across your waist to keep you from moving. she made a mess with your mouth as your heat was newly plagued by her thickened fingers, her ring and index placed parallel against your slit. your face was coaxed back to the mirror again, face flustered and drunk with abby's touch. your lips were pouted instinctively for her as she rubbed a thumb against the bottom. she was careless, making your body hers, puppeteering you to her pleasure. her digits fell heavy against your pussy, rubbing your clit in almost a hover.

she had brought you senseless, words coming out of you became nonsensical. you were a malleable and mouthy heap, trying to mumble our her name in pleads. "stay with me, yea?" she whispered, placing a raw kiss against your heat-ridden cheek. "Im tryna' make a mess with this pussy."

her words only made you ache more, squeezing your thighs around her cunt-covered hand, pushing her deeper between you. you couldn't keep up with how hard she tried to push you, wriggling around the pressure of her palms. "you needy little slut, fuck." her anger rose to the surface, pressing you between the broad of her back and the bathroom counter. abby grasped at your hair, neck arching and eyes rising beneath her. you gave up on words, your face only emoting furrowed brows and bitten lip. "make yourself cum on my fingers." she demanded, pinning her fingers right your entrance. you couldn't hope she said anything better, hips bucking around the girth driving you wild. your head was empty; brainless. you couldn't keep yourself from going dizzy at her touch, eyes lifting back to look at yourself going weak at the taller woman's addicting control. her smile was arousing; as you watched the way she loved defiling you. abby's laugh echoed in your chest, pleased moan strumming though you. "sensitive little thing, soaked already. 'scute." she mocked while she rubbed circles into you, watching you jerk harder into her. every little sound you made sent your heart soaring as you heard your own heat sing in the rhythm of abby's fevered treatment of your body. you finally gained your voice back, sputtering out in whiny croaks.

"thank you abby."

"w'for baby? talk to me."

"making me cum."

"what's that again? can't hear anything over this loud cunt."

"making me cum."

your praise unleashed something new within her, gripping at your leg to bring it up and over the marble countertop and hooking her fingers inside of you, effortlessly nudging your g-spot. it came out in one full flush, exerting shuddered whines you didn't even know you could make. abby hummed in delight as she watched the show. you slumped into her chest, falling at the seams of your orgasm. she hitches you up by your waist to keep your balance, eye meeting for a final time in the reflection.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

[onpurposeilovehimonpurpose]

Touching Tuesday - pt2 - Strong Henry

After King James states that he's read their emails, as intrusive and terrible as that must feel, Henry doesn't recoil at the knowledge that his grandfather read the things he said to Alex. Instead, he continues to be proud and strong and the whole time, Phillip is watching them. Perhaps he realizes that by reading them, there is no way that the king can deny his feelings for Alex, and hopes that he won't ask that. And the smirk they share as they check in with one another says so much more than words could. Also, Henry moves his thumb just barely, soothingly over Alex's finger, it's just a tiny movement, but the gesture makes me swoon.

The looks on their faces after the king acknowledges their love is genuine, even if they don't need the man's validation; they're trying so hard to hold back their happiness because they know they're just beginning the battle with him. Henry is so strong to do this in front of a man who hurt him and demanded his desires stay hidden. Their hands grip one another tightly, supporting each other the way they both need at that moment.

Watching Henry's movements and Alex's with their free hands. It shows their initial reactions to the King telling Henry that his responsibility is not to his heart, but to his country. Alex's reaction is so much smaller in comparison to Henry's, but it's those fingers of his, moving just a bit, as they tend to do whenever he has feelings he's unsure of. Notice Alex swallowing around the lump that probably formed in his throat when he took in what the king was clearly wanting from Henry. An agreement to deny the accusations. Henry's posture slumps a little, and he walks his fingers across his knee and then curls that hand into a fist, holding off the emotions he feels at the unfair expectations the king is pushing on his shoulders. But their joined hands never waver, they don't move at all.

Henry reacting to the king's ridiculous idea that they need to maintain the royal image, considering doing otherwise is out of the question, that he's allowing himself to react with a defiant expression is something he never would've allowed before, he would've controlled it. But then, before he can say anything, Alex questions the king. It's so incredible to me that Alex does this, ignoring the fact that the man is king, he's just another man whose bullshit beliefs should be questioned. It's clear neither one of them at this point cares that he's a king. He's just a man who wants them to repress their feelings, and their relationship and is willing to ignore the love he sees in front of him.

Now I want to talk about the touching and what it means for Henry to no longer hold Alex's hand. This man has taken all the comfort and strength that became a little feedback loop between them, and he's like... "I'm going to stand up for myself on my own right now because Alex doesn't deserve to be considered a problem and neither do I." He says, "You think you can make me get in line by fear or guilt and expectations? You think that I'm only questioning this crap because of the man sitting beside me who I love, who you know I love, is here holding my hand through this? You're very wrong about that." And he goes back to his habit of trying to twirl his ring (even if he's not wearing it) and he situates himself so that he's not so stiff, so that he almost appears like he's relaxing and that this conversation is casual, and he's unbothered.

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE (2023) dir. Matthew Lopez

Henry asks his question, and he is saying, "You don't want Alex to have a voice, but I will help him have one because I will ask the same damn thing and wait for you to give me the bullshit answer I know is coming because I've decided that I don't care what you say. I'm gonna sit back, and I'm gonna ask this question and watch you squirm as you realize that I am strong and I am my own person, and I deserve more than what you want me to have."

One of the most important / (imo needed) changes from the book to the movie was this scene right here, and I am glad that Matthew Lopez made sure to put this change in. While I do like that Catherine in the book came out of her grief to start to be there for her children, her children were younger in the book. Henry is older in the movie; he is nearing thirty years old, and though he is obviously hurt that his mother isn't around, he is also fully an adult, and I think that after all this time, HE needed to be the one to stand up for himself, for his love and his relationship. He needed to deal with this, and he had Alex's support and Bea's, but this was his moment. He gets to show who he has always been inside and gets the chance to be the man he has become because of knowing Alex and accepting his love and encouragement.

The look on his face as he asks that question tells how differently he values himself and his happiness than what we saw from him previously.

[nvertheless]

didn’t want to have to do it

you sat in your bed with a strange feeling twisting in your stomach. each breath you took in and out through your mouth was an attempt to calm your nerves, but it wasn’t working. your anxiety gnawed at you.

you and jake, your boyfriend of one year, had recently ended your relationship. despite the breakup, you both wanted to remain friends because the thought of losing him completely was unbearable. jake was your everything, and you loved him deeply. he felt the same way about you.

but however, as individuals, you both started to feel unhappy, and being in a relationship was only pushing it. jake felt he couldn’t tell you anything without you getting upset, and you felt you couldn’t share your thoughts without him becoming defensive and angry.

despite those challenges, the love between you two never wavered. a connection that sealed your hearts and souls together.

you stayed in contact, texting often. whether it would be checking up on each other or sending reels, you maintained communication. but the love never faded, even though you both knew it wasn’t healthy to stay in touch. yet, the fear of losing him completely kept you horrified.

as you lay in bed, you grabbed your phone and started texting.

You: it just really hit me.

My love: it’s okay, i understand.

My love: it’s hitting for me too.

You: do you ever think we could just work things out?

My love: yn, you know we can’t.

My love: i’m sorry.

My love: maybe it’s best if we stop talking.

You: jake please don’t do this

in a panic you called him, your heart pounding as you waited for him to answer. when you finally heard his voice, your heart dropped

“hello?” you asked, struggling to hold back your tears.

“yn…” jake’s voice trembled, filled with emotion.

“jake, please don’t do this. i’m sorry.” you broke down, the tears flowing uncontrollably.

“yn, you know we can’t be on and off like this. we can’t keep going on like this,” jake said, his voice cracking as he cried.

“i don’t want to lose you. i feel like i can’t go on without you,” you sobbed.

“im sorry yn, but if we keep going like this, we’ll never move on and still have feelings for each other.” jake replied, his own tears evident.

both of you were crying, your hearts breaking more with each passing second.

“please don’t leave me. i care about you so much,” you stuttered, your voice quivering. “i know we said we could be friends, but im going to miss you as my boyfriend. i wish things hadn’t turned out this way.”

“i’m sorry for not giving you the happiness you deserved.” you said as your eyes were burning from the tears.

“yn, don’t say that. it’s not your fault,” he reassured you.

“but i ruined everything jake. i’m sorry for everything,” you cried, your head aching from the tears.

“you didn’t ruin anything. we both were unhappy with each other but i care about you so much, but we know what we have to do,” jake said, trying to keep his voice steady so his mom wouldn’t hear him crying in the next room. he never wanted to hurt you because he loved you.

“let’s not talk for a month. we need to give each other time, i don’t want to do this either, but it’s for the best, and i know you know that,” he said, his voice filled with sadness.

“i don’t want to lose you.” you whispered.

“i don’t want to lose you either, but we know what we have to do.” jake replied, his voice breaking.

“I love you, jake.” you finally said, your heart pouring out through your tears.

“i love you too yn. i’m so fucking sorry,” jake said, finally letting out a loud cry.

“this is goodbye for now. i’m so sorry,” he said.

the phone hangs up and you both are left in tears and broken hearts.

sorry for the angst and sudden comeback, this is based on what’s currently going on in my life as i’m going through a breakup, i missed you all 🤍

♡'ೃ ↳ taglist (if you would like to be added to my perm taglist send an ask or message me!) @un-flirt @en-flirt

[whitemancumslut]

UNTITLED *TBD*

A PREVIEW OF SOMETHING IM WRAPPING UP

warnings so far: teasing, mature, nerd!softrry, not proofread fr

Leaning in just enough where your lips brushed against his lips. Harry gripped your hips urging you to kiss him again but he was scared he was forcing you.

You grinned at his nervousness, pressing your hips against his groin so he could feel the pressure against his hard, and it worked. His mouth fell open, his hips bucked up, and he leaned foward. His eyes low, and his plumped lips begging to be kissed. His brows are furrowed as if he's determined and craving for a kiss.

You continued to grind against him loving the moan that is released from the satisfaction.

Your hips rolled so gently and he lightened his grip on you. He leaned forward trying to get your lips in a kiss but you dodged and went to tucking your face in his neck. "O-oh, please," He whined to you.

"What, baby? Mmh?" You muttered ‘cluelessly’ pulling back from his neck.

"K-kiss, p-please?"

The movement in your hips comes to a halt. "A kiss where, sweetheart? Use your words with me." You told him, he didn’t say anything he just gave you a small nod.

"Tell me is it.. Here?" You kissed his cheek.

"N-no," He shook his head with a whimper.

"Here?" You clasped his jaw between your fingers, tilting his head, kissing his bare neck.

"No," He mumbled.

"Then where, angel?" Voice sweet and innocent, so pure.

But nothing about this was innocent.

His eyes sparking with needy lust looking up at you, he was panting like a dog. Unable to give a proper verbal response he raised his hand to your face. He pushed his index finger against your lips, tapping lightly, "H-here. Please," He winced out. "Please, kiss me." His voice wavering all over the place unable to pick a pitch.

You bit your lower lip, moving against him again trying to get as close as possible. You moaned when you put pressure against his aching clothed friend down there.

Your hands moving into his hair, his grip on your waist tightening, unintentionally, due to the anticipation, he didn’t know what to do.

Laying a hard kiss against the boy's lips, he moaned and his cock twitched excitedly beneath you. Teaching himself to breath through his nose, he wouldn’t dare to pull away for a needed breath.

His hands rested on your hips slowly making there way down. Past your waistband, Harry so badly wanted to touch your ass. Staring at it all the time, he couldn't help it. When his hands slid down and felt the large curve and drop, he immediately shot his hands back up to your waist. Feeling he was overstaying his welcome.

You pulled away from the kiss.

"Go ahead, it's okay to touch it. It's yours now." You whispered crashing on his lips again.

Harry's breathing quickened unsure how any of this was real. His hard growing rock hard into your core.

His large palms found their way down to your ass cheeks. Taking the meat and groping your ass, you hissed out breaking the kiss.

Harry moved his hands almost immedia m tely, "I-i'm sorry-"

"No, no. I liked it, do it again," You nodded and he did. He was nervous but he got it. He groped your ass again, wanting to feel you skin to skin, he didn't want to admit he wanted this to end out sweaty and hot.

You pulled away, a groan escaping his lips from the lost contact. When you stared in his eyes, they were wild and excited wanting to continue. You didn't want to look down at the thick cock that was literally calling your name to make him nervous again, but you wanted to so and.

His swollen pink lips aching for more of yours. And you couldn’t help but fulfill his wants.

[eveningepiphany]

bestie i definitely want a part two of the mistletoe!

Mistletoe | H.S, part 2

my masterlist <3

if you have any requests, send them in here

summary: Y/Ns flight gets canceled last minute after their morning BBC show, and without anywhere to go she calls harry— and it’s their first time alone together after the kiss they’d shared under the mistletoe.

warnings: smut, soft/bestfriend harry, oral f receiving, PIV unprotected, riding, praise kink, fluff, and dirty talk.

a/n: thank you all so much for your support on part one! I hope you enjoy this just as much, and thank you for your patience in waiting for this— hope your holiday season was filled with fun. I <3 soft harry.

———

The morning show had gone great, despite the mountains of tension between you and Harry. Maybe no one else picked up on it, and you were just hyper aware of his every glance and touch.

Hell, maybe you were even reading into it. Maybe last night was just a one off thing. A spur of the moment—never to be talked about— kind of thing. It could’ve meant nothing.

You’d woken up together, his alarm blaring from his phone further down the his mattress. You’d groaned together, collectively complaining about how fucking early it was. But not once mentioned last night, or the fact you woke up together.

But you didn’t have another chance to talk about it— when he and Anne dropped you all off at the airport he hugged you last out of the boys— it was a tight hug, paired with a whispered, ‘I’ll call you when you’re home.’

So you are unsure where everything stands. And you’d been left to mull it over in the uncomfortable airport chairs that you’d already been in for far too long.

You’d been in this damn airport far too long.

You suppose now though, the whole thing with you and Harry is the currently the least of your problems.

The rest of the boys are probably home by now.

“Assholes.” You mutter, cursing them for that exact reason.

Your gate had begun to quieten down since the announcement of the delay.

The boys flights were hardly an hour after you got to the airport, yours on the other hand was about 5.

Within those 5 hours, a storm had came crashing over this part of the UK.

Now you were without accomodation for the next 16 hours, which was apparently the earliest they could reschedule.

It was already 9:30pm– so you didn’t know what to do with yourself, it’s a long time to wait around in the airport.

You knew it was gonna be hard to get a hotel room, given how many flights had been delayed this last minute.

So, you sat for a minute and contemplate it. Without many other options you opened your phone and rung the only person who you could think of. The only person you had been thinking of.

You pressed your lips together as it rung, and on the fourth ring his voice came through.

“Y/N, love?” He sounded a little raspy, tired.

“Harry, im so sorry— you weren’t asleep were you?” You say, quickly feeling apologetic.

“No, no— jus’ laying down on the couch watching friends, why? It’s like 9:30 shouldn’t you be on your flight?”

“Yea uh… I am supposed to be.” Your voice faltered a little at the end, you just wanted to go home. You were already emotionally exhausted, and this on top was proving to be a bit much.

You glance outside the airport windows trying to distract yourself— not wanting to start having a mental breakdown in the middle of the airport and draw unwanted attention your way. It had got dark hours ago but it was clearly bucketing down rain.

“What happened?” He asked, immediately sounding concerned at your wavering voice.

“Is it not raining at your place? It torrential here, my flight got delayed.” You laugh a little, without humour.

“No it’s not— how far back was it pushed?”

“16 hours, not till 1pm tomorrow.” You sigh.

“Holy shit…” He audibly gasps through the speaker.

“I hate to be asking, but is it ok if I catch a taxi or an Uber back yours? I don’t think I’m gonna find anywhere to st—“

“Y/N, you are not catching a taxi or an Uber, I’m coming to get you.” He states, and you hear him shuffling in the background. Keys getting pulled from a drawer.

“You don’t have to come get me, I’m fine to get there—“

He cuts you off again, “Nope, I’m getting in the car now, I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“Harry, I swear I’ll be ok!” You feel terrible, knowing he is probably just as tired as you are.

“See y’soon, stay warm. Buy somethin’ to eat and drink while you wait, love. Call you when I get there.” You hear the engine start, you don’t even have time to protest anymore because he hangs up on you.

You groan aloud, frustration mixed with gratitude coursing through you.

Standing from the chair you’d been sitting in, you stretch. Sunglasses and beanie pulled over your face to try and prevent people from recognising you.

Even though you felt guilty he was driving all this way to get you, you were also relieved. trying to get an Uber somewhere, especially with your status is anxiety inducing to say the least.

You just hoped he drove safe in this weather.

You decide to go and buy food, sourcing a place that served your favourites.

The hour dragged on after you’d ate, and you felt drowsy. You were sitting at one of the tables closer to the exit, charging your phone when it rung.

When you answered, Harry of course was on the other side of the line.

“Hey sweet, sorry for the wait. I’m out the front.” You smile with relief, glad he was here safe.

“Thank you so much, H. I’m coming out now—“

“I parked in the 5 minute ones, you’ll see my car.”

You quickly chuck your charger into your bag, grabbing your suitcase and head straight for the sliding doors.

A blast of freezing wind hits you as you walk out, and you feel it to your bones.

True to his word, you spot Harry’s car a few metres away, and you were grateful he got such a close park.

He gets out the moment he sees you, popping the trunk.

“Are you ok?” He asks the second you’re close enough to hear him over the wind and rain, grabbing your face between his warm hands.

“Mmhm— just emotionally burnt out. Thank you for coming to get me.” You smile, his concern endearing.

He nods, relief thrumming through him. He picks up your suitcase, placing it into his trunk.

You both hurry into his car, trying to get out of the cold.

It’s perfectly warm in there, and you strap into the passenger side.

“You didn’t have to come all this way. I appreciate it though.” You whisper.

“Yes I did. I know you’re safe, and that we’ll get home together in one piece. That is worth endlessly more than an hour drive.”

You feel his words seep into the centre of your chest, warm and soft. You reach your hand over to grab his, squeezing it.

You don’t move it and he starts to drive, and you both talk about random stuff as you usually do together. It half lulls you to sleep, your head leaning against the window.

This hour went much faster, the highway was quiet and his home town even quieter.

You pull into his childhood home, and he turns the engine off.

You force your head up, shaking your limbs out. “I’m awake.”

He laughs at you trying to convince yourself. You slide out the car door, legs feeling a little numb as they try to hold you up.

He grabs your suitcase out for you, wheeling it to the access door and unlocking it.

The lamps are dimly lit, and the TV not properly turned off— it was clear he had left in a moments notice.

“Thank you.” You say, for what had to be the 12th time.

“Stop thanking me, Y/N.” He chuckles.

It was nearly midnight now, and he walked over to flick everything off.

“Is Anne asleep?”

“Yea, mum went to bed pretty early— was too early a start for her this morning. Or yesterday, seeing it’s nearly midnight.”

“I’m feeling her, I could’ve fell asleep at the damn airport.”

You trudge towards the stairs, carrying up your suitcase.

He quickly follows you up once everything downstairs is off.

You stop at the top, placing your bag down with a quiet thump and a pant— it was physical workout, considering how much your bag weighed. It baffles you how Harry carries it like it weighs nothing.

Your eyes flit over to the window without even thinking, straight to where you’d shared that kiss. The one you’d been replaying in your head since it happened.

Your first, and very perfect kiss together.

He’s standing behind you quietly, clocking where your eyes are looking. And he’s reliving the exact same memory as you.

He draws in a breath, trying to stabilise his emotions— his fingertips burning with the pure need to touch you.

You swallow at the thought of stumbling into his room last night, realising you just assumed you were staying in there tonight as well.

“Forget where you’re going, sweet?” He runs his hand down your back.

The touch leaves goosebumps in its wake.

“No… just- distracted.” You mumble, allowing him to slip past you and lead you into his room.

It smells just like him as you walk in, and it will never fail to overwhelm you. How perfect his scent is.

“Mmm, I bet.” He says ambiguously.

“What is that supposed to mean.” It slips out of your mouth shyer than you intended.

He turns, locking eyes with you, “I think you know exactly what I mean by that.”

“I don’t.” You say, defiantly.

He moves carefully closer, “you don’t?”

It’s a challenge when it comes from his mouth, you can only shake your head.

He kisses the pulse point on your neck, just how he had under the mistletoe— except this time he takes the skin between his lips, giving it a harsh suck.

“Remind you at all?” He pulls away an inch, and the blood has rushed into your cheeks— so much so they felt like they were on fire.

You don’t say anything. You don’t know how. Your lips move, but nothing comes out.

“How about this…” he trails up to your parted lips, ghosting over them.

You were awake now. Your whole body pulsing with the thoughts of where his hands— and lips— could touch.

“Harry…” you whined, and the noise was enough to have him seeing stars.

He slid his hands down to the small of your back, tugging you as close as possible.

“I swear, you are unreal, Y/N.” He sighs into your cheek.

You push your lips back into his, and he parts them for you straight away.

You slip your tongue into his mouth, savouring the feeling of it. Allowing yourself to map it out with gradual strokes.

He’s panting already, and he pushes you back, both of you stumbling into the middle of his bed.

He ends up taking the lead again, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth— knowing the kind of reaction it spiked in you last time.

You moan into his mouth, and glide your hand into his soft hair, pulling at the roots.

His have found their way up your shirt, cupping your breasts through the bra you’re wearing.

“If you want to stop—“ he says, breathlessly, “now is the time, because I don’t know if I can do this again.”

The room around you falls quiet and you cautiously look to meet his gaze.

“What do you mean?” You ask— little to no clue what he’s implying, a little panic rising in your chest.

He stares at you, serious, hands roaming down to your lower back.

“Kiss you like this, have you moaning like this— and not have you come because of me atleast twice.”

“Leaving you to fall asleep next to me— wet enough I could feel it through your sleep shorts, and not have anything done about it— is something I am not having happen again.” His words made you shiver, and his admission last night to how bad he wanted to make you finish on his face was ringing in your ears.

“What about Anne?”

“To hell with it.” He huffs, peeling his tshirt over his head, “She’ll be dead to the world at this hour— just try to keep quiet.”

“If this is what you want to do, anyway?” He clarifies, “And if y’wanna stop at anytime y’know y’can.”

“God, Harry you don’t understand how bad I want to feel you.” You affirm, pulling your own sweatshirt off, “I promise I’ll be quiet.”

“Thank you, darling. As much as I’d love to hear your pretty moans…” his sentence trails off, kissing the top of your breasts as he lays you down.

“Want your mouth on me.” You plead, the thought of it being enough to have you clenching around nothing.

“I’m sure you do, ‘specially after I put it in your head last night. Have you been thinking about it all day, hmm?” He teases, shifting down your body.

“Yea— yea I have.” You confess with a whine.

He raises his brows, trailing wet kisses down your stomach.

“What about before? You ever got off to the thought of my tongue in your pussy?” He smirks, knowing he’s venturing into uncharted territory— admissions of want, prior to your first kiss.

“Your ego would love to hear a yes wouldn’t it.” You tease a little, even though it would be a lie to say you haven’t conjured up small fantasies of him late at night. Ones where he’s got more than just his head between your legs.

“Oh, it would. But I think I already know the answer, going off how hot and bothered I’m making you.”

Which is true, you’re squirming beneath him, unconsciously arching up your lower half trying to get any kind of friction.

“Can I take these off?” He asks with warm hands tucked into your waistband, waiting for your curt nod before he shucks your pants down, your panties half going with it.

The energy shifts, his hands coming to a halt.

Like the realisation of what he’s doing and who he’s touching like this has come crashing down, just from seeing your lower half laid bare for him.

Harry is your best friend, your bandmate. Someone who you never thought would actually have their hands on you like this.

“Fuck. Look at you.” The sight of you looking up at him like that, all doe-eyed and shy had his cock aching.

His hands slip back into motion, but this time with less urgency.

He pulls both your pants and underwear off your legs, tossing them somewhere on his floor.

He pushes a finger through your slit, “This why you’re so wet? Been waiting for me to get my mouth on you for longer than you admitted.”

“Please, Harry.”

You push your hips into his touch, groaning into the sheets of his bed as he draws slow circles on your clit.

He leans to press a kiss into the crease of your thigh, so close to where you want him most.

Licking a stripe along the same spot, you begin to plead, “Please just touch me. Need it…”

“My poor girl is so needy. Cant even wait a second for me to get my tongue on her.” He coos, but gives in either way, letting his tongue push through your wet slit.

You’re trying so hard to hold back the moans as he flicks and sucks your clit, but fuck is this the best oral you’ve ever had.

Most guys you’ve been with rush through it, wanting to get it over with because it does nothing to please them. But Harry is clearly a giver, and gets a lot out of pleasing someone like this.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna make me come so fast.” You cry, an arm getting thrown over your face as you arch into every movement he makes.

He smiles into you, moving his mouth to your entrance, pushing his tongue in a bit before dragging back up to you clit— his nose bumping it in just the right spot.

Another moan comes out of you, unbridled as your cunt flutters in sync with the licks he’s placing against you.

He swaps between your clit and entrance, making sure both are getting the attention they deserve. Fast firm strokes along you— paired with kisses and sucks — are having you come undone faster than you’d expected.

“Shhh, baby, been doing so well f’me, can feel how close you are.” He pushes a finger into you, and you have to bite down on your lip to try and keep yourself quiet.

Pushing in another finger, he grunts, “God, you’re tight.”

“Been awhile…” you spoke, voice wavering— it sounding distant in your own head.

He hummed into you, the vibration of it pulsing through the whole of your body.

Curse words were flying out your lips, which you were trying so hard to keep shut. But every lap of his tongue against you had your resolve to keep quiet slipping through your grasp.

“I’m going to come, H. Hard.” You moaned— it was tearing out of you loudly, and you tired to muffle it with the crook of your arm.

“You can come, darling, ‘round my fingers and mouth like a good girl.”

His permission and praise was all you needed to tip over the edge, your cunt spasming around his fingers that were still pumping in and out of you.

He licked through your slick until you couldn’t breathe, your legs closing around his head trying to get him off your sensitive nerves.

Your breath was laboured as he pulled back, placing a final kiss on your stomach before making his way back up your body.

“Thank you…” you tiredly said, laying with your eyes half-lidded on his bed. And although you felt like you could fall asleep, there was no way you could not let him fuck you properly after that.

You pushed yourself up, and moved onto his lap.

He watched you carefully, a question in his eyes.

That was answered as you ground your hips carefully into his, the fabric of his sweatpants sending a zip up your spine.

“We don’t have to, sweet. Not if your tired.” His hand fell to your hip.

But when his mouth is still glistening with your arousal and cock is so hard underneath you, how could you not?

“I know, Harry. I really want to though.” You sigh into his neck, arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rubbed yourself along his fabric-covered boner.

All of the little noises coming from the back of his throat were sounded into your ear, and knowing how good this must be making him feel charged you to keep going.

“That’s right. Rub yourself through it Y/N. Over my cock, dripping all onto my pants.” His tone was deep, dipped in honey as he spoke to you.

You moaned as he snapped his hips upwards to meet the movement of your own.

“I’m clean and on the pill.” You say into his ear, shuddering. You have never wanted anything more.

He pauses, realisation at what your insinuating.

“Are you a hundered percent sure? Because I trust that you’re clean. And so am I.”

You start moving your hips again, “a thousand percent.”

“Can just imagine how easy m’gonna slip into you.” He traces patterns along the base of your spine.

“Just want to make you feel good, H.” You kiss the warm skin of his neck, taking it into your lips and biting it gently.

“Fuck, well y’already doing a good job of that.”

Your hand travels to his waistband, and he allows you to pull him out of his boxers.

He’s thick in your hand, heavy just as you’d imagined. But it’s so much better than you’d thought. He’s warm and smooth, head of him as pink as his lips.

You stroke along it, thumb brushing over his tip, dragging the pre-come that had leaked out down his shaft, indulging in his grunts that are sounding in your ear.

You shift up on your knees— unable to wait any longer, rubbing the head of his cock through your folds with a mutual gasp.

You rub a few circles on your clit with it, until your knees feel like they’re going to buckle. Which no better a time to line him up with your entrance.

“God— are you going to ride me?” He moans, holding you still with his hands for a moment.

“Is that ok?”

“That is so fucking hot.” He states, eyes pinching closed.

You sink yourself into him, feeling the stretch of your cunt as it tries to accomodate his large size.

You scrape your nails down his back as you get to the base of him, moaning in sync with one another.

“Oh my god.” His stomach muscles are clenching, “don’t move.”

The walls of his room seem to be spinning around him, and he inhales a deep breath in attempt to ground himself.

His hands rest on the peak of your hips, as he shudders out the same breath he just took in, “Sorry— you’re just so fuckin’ warm and tight.”

“You’re huge.” You whimper in response.

“Taking it so well. Knew you would, knew you’d be so snug around my cock. Always wanted to have you moan like this for me.” The words spill like a lust-drunk confession from his mouth.

You can’t even find anything to say back, just a passionate kiss over his lips.

“Can move now.” He says into your mouth.

Your hips gradually begin to move, starting with slow and precise rolls that have you both panting against each other.

His cock twitched inside you as you picked up the pace, bouncing up and down on him— your fingers finding their way down to your clit.

All you could feel was the hot burning pleasure in the pit of your stomach, and so much was coming from your mouth but you couldn’t even tell what it was. Just a mixture of swearing, moans and his name.

“Shh, sweet girl— fuck— know it feels so good but you have to stay quiet.” He cups your jaw, sealing your lips with another kiss.

The heat radiating off both of your bodies was searing, paired with the fiery pleasure in your stomachs, it could fight off even the coldest of December days.

His other hand replaced your own, and worked your clit better than you ever could. His long fingers swirling your bud in fast circles that matched your every bounce.

His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, desperately trying to hush his own groans. It was a sight to see him, his flushed face and messy brown curls— how he was trying just as hard to hold back.

“You’re so warm. Riding me so well.” He praises you with a grunt, stroking your clit with more pressure. You couldn’t even manage to respond, your thoughts were beyond muddled, and they only got worse as he increased the speed of his fingers.

The feeling of his cock sliding through your walls had your jaw fall completely lax, your hot breath fanning across his damp skin.

His only free hand travelled to your breast, kneading the warm flesh there, tweaking your nipple with gentle fingers.

“Oh god, oh god— Harry!” Every touch was clashing together into one euphoric feeling, your whole body shaking.

Your muscles were clenched taut, like a rubber band getting pulled tighter and tighter— and you were about to snap.

“Fuck, come around my cock— wanna feel it.”

His hips are bucking up to meet your bounces, he’s hitting every spot inside you.

“Harry— I’m going to— I’m gonna come.” You cried into his shoulder.

Praise is pouring from his mouth, and all it takes is a final flick of your clit too have you knocked of all your air.

Your jaw drops, teeth hitting Harry’s sharp collarbone, mantras of his name coming breathlessly from your mouth.

“God you’re perfect— squeezing so perfectly around me.” He moans, still playing with your clit.

“Please come, baby. Want you to fill me up.” You plead— tugging the roots of his hair, trying to keep up the pace of your bounces despite the blinding pleasure.

“Fuckk.” He comes within seconds of hearing you beg for it, his hips stuttering to meet your thrusts— his abdomen flexing under your fingers.

You ride him to the point your eyes are tearing up with the overstimulation, ensuring you get every drop of warm come you can from him.

Eventually you come to a halt at the base of him, now that both your orgasms have dulled out and he’s softening inside you.

You kiss his temple, hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders.

“You were so good for me, love.” He whispers.

You slip out of him, missing how he filled you up immediately. He rolled you both over before you could think about it too much, and your legs wrapping around his middle.

You looked down at the moth tattoo situated between your legs, and boldly you state, “I’d ride this too if I wasn’t so tired.”

His brows shoot up as you say that, your fingers beginning to outline the tattoo gingerly.

“You’re gonna give me another boner if you keep this up.” His voice falling a tone deeper.

A laugh sounds from you, and you cuddle up into his chest, “Sorry, but not really.” You say.

He plays with your hair, “Asshole.”

Your falling into a drowsy state, “Are you plaiting my hair?”

He hums a yes, “d’ya have a hair tie for it?”

“On my wrist.” You huff out a laugh, and you pull your hand from around his neck so he can pull it off.

He ties it, and kisses your forehead.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He whispers, seeing your shut eyes.

“Goodnight Harry.” You whisper back, pausing for a few seconds— then daring to say what’s been lingering on the tip of your tongue all night.

“I love you.” It’s a hush confession, one your too tied to care if you’re gonna regret it.

He looks down at you, through his own half-lidded eyes, “fuck, I love you too. So much.”

———

[amber-michaelson]

A Change Of Pace

Part 2

Part 1

Barbarian Katsuki Bakugo x Slave reader

Summary:

Read at own risk

Warning: pregnantion,

yn pov

its been a few months now since katsuki took me out of slavery and brought me here i’ve grown close with his friends kiri denki mina and sero they always kept me company when bakugous not around which is hardly ever he always wants me by his side for some reason and only allows me to take care of him which i don’t understand why “yes bakugo” i said walking into his tent “pack my stuff we’re going home” he muttered passing but paused “and its katsuki to you” he said before disappearing into the other part of the tent his was the biggest tent out of all of them and down the middle was a divider splitting the weaponized side from the bedroom and bath room “wheres home exactly” i called peering to him from around the corner “to the Bakugo kingdom dumbass” he yelled stuffing his stuff into a crate “oh” i whispered my voice wavering ‘alright’ i turned to the weapons wall where a few crates layed by i walked over and started putting the axes and swords in and didn’t take notice of the people standing behind me “boo” i screamed in shock dropping the sword i was carrying which cut my leg before hitting the ground “fuck” i cursed as blood started to seep out “yn what happened” katsuki yelled running out and fumed as he saw his friends “what the hell did you do” he muttered hitting the back of denki’s head

Katsuki pov

I was fuming "what the hell did you do" I yelled moving over to yn "I dropped your sword I'm sorry" she said through gritted teeth "i don't care about that fucking sword" I snapped picking her up and taking her to my bed "baku-" "just fucking leave you've done enough" I yelled at my friends as I layed yn on my bed "katsu-" "shut up yn I need to patch you up" I muttered grabbing different things that could help

Yn pov

I watched as he dumped alot of things onto the bed before settling infront of me "fuck it looks bad" he said grabbing a clothe as started to clean the cut before put ointments and bandaging it "there" he breathed out and looked up "now go wait on the horse" he said standing up "but you sai-" I cut her off "I said go wait by the horse I'll finish packing" he muttered pointing to the door I sighed in pain as I got up and limbed my way out "I'm so so sorry yn" denki cried coming to my side "it's fine denks I'm ok" I murmured stopping by my horse "are you leaving us yn" Mina yelled jumping beside me "we said we're sorry" kiri said giving me the puppy dog eyes "katsuki said we're leaving" I murmured looking confused why we are the only ones leaving "he said we'll be going back to the palace" I said looking between them "that's strange" ejiro said scratching the back of his head "hey shitty hair" they whipped around to face bakugo "I've packed up my stuff just make sure everything gets back" he muttered and pushed through them "come on pipesqueak" he said and helped me onto my horse "why are you leaving us bakubro" kiri whined making me giggle "because the old hag needs me now, now shut up" he yelled hopping onto his horse "here yn have my pouch of food" kiri smiled handing me a pouch "thanks kiri, see ya guys" I smiled and waved at them "come on" bakugo muttered and started walking out the camp with me following 'this is gonna be weird'

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I got all the stuff I needed to patch katsuki up as he groaned in pain as he sat on his bed "hurry up" he yelled as I scrambled to get the last of the stuff "im trying" I said laying all the stuff down "well that's not good enough" he snapped I rolled my eyes as I started to clean his wounds and cuts some making him flinch "some of these need stitches" I murmured glancing up at him but just got a growl in response "well hurry it up then” i quickly finished up bandaging and putting ointments on the others before moving onto the stitching “this might hurt” i mumbled as i did the first stitch causing him to growl and bite his lip “told you” i whispered earning a hard glare as i carried on “almost there” i said as i cut the thread to move onto the next one “your doing great bakugo” i murmured “katsuki” “what” i asked looking up at him “call me katsuki from now on” he muttered.

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we’ve been riding for a few hours now but mostly in silence “hows your leg doing” katsuki asked slowing down so he was beside me “fine i guess it doesn’t hurt as much” i said and it fell back into silence it was a nice silence "yn" he murmured "yea katsuki" I said looking at him "when we get there my mom might bother you" he murmured as he started to explain how his mom would bother me and pry

"Let's stop here for the night" he said jumping off his horse and helping me down "thanks" I said and took off kiri’s pouch fill of food and bottle of water "are you hungry" I asked taking a bite of a apple "no I'm fine I need to start a fire before the night comes" he said taking the horses and tired them up so the can graze and took of their saddles I looked around "what must I do" I asked "just try and not hurt yourself I can't fix you up out here" he said before disappearing into the bush "ok I'll try" I muttered it was a nice little clearing with a stream not so far away I wondered well limbed around trying to see if there's anything I could do but nothing I sighed and sat down by a tree waiting for bakugo to come back

Bakugo pov

I grumbled as I picked up some more fire wood "next time I cut off there heads" I muttered to myself they always scare her and she jumps so easily

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Yn was feeding me food as she sat in front of me and sero and denki jumped out behind her causing her to drop the plate of food on me which was boiling hot.

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I chuckled remembering how apologetic she was and how she was by my side 24/7 till I got better, yes I loved how she cared and nursed me back to health everytime I got back from a raiding I loved it but it takes a while from her to calm down after they scared her she flinches at everything, I made my way back as I thought of what I'll face when I get back to the kingdom, the reason I was sent out was not just to raid it, was to get a harem of concubines and wifes to give me sons for the future of our empire but I haven't found anyone other then yn who court my interest she was just beautiful and over the course of her time with me I've seen her at her highest and lowest and have grown close to her "I'm back" I said as I came back to the clearing she was sitting by a tree I kneeled down and started to build the fire, the sun was starting to set and a cold breeze was blowing through the trees I lite the fire before going to yn and taking off my cape covering her "what about you" she mumbled as she cuddled into the fur "I'll be fine pipesqueak" I smirked at how cute she is i sat close the fire till it was night and went to lay down by yn who moved a bit closer to the fire “come here pipesqueak” i smiled and pulled her closer covering her and me with the cloak “katsu-” “tell anyone about this and ill murder you”i murmured laying my head in the crook of her neck 

yn pov

i was as red as a tomato as i felt his breathing on my neck causing goosebumps to appear "night pipesqueak" he murmured sleepily "goodnight katsu" I whispered and started to dose off myself

The next morning

I woke up facing katsuki with his arms around me and one of my legs on his I was to scared to move because that could wake him up and he's not a morning person

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I placed katsuki's food next to his bed as he snored away "katsuki" I said and gave him a slight nudge but nothing "katsuki" I said louder but only got a 'fuck off' in response I got up onto his bed and jumped on him "katsuki bakugo get the fuck up" I yelled in his face but yelled and he flipped us over with him hovering over me glaring done at me "no" he muttered and dropped down on top of me "katsuki we have to get up" I laughed "5 more minutes".

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I stared at his face this is the most I've seen him calm and no scars or blood stains on his face he was honestly pretty handsome "I can feel you staring" I froze as he opened his eyes staring back into mine "sorry" I said but i still kept staring as he stared at me "we should get moving" I whispered "nah few more minutes" he said closing his eyes again "well at least let me get up" I muttered squeezing and squirming but he wouldn't budge "katsu" I whined "fine" he muttered and let go turning over and dosed off again I got up and stretched out my limbs before pouring water over the fire and saddling up the horses again and preparing some food for the road "ok no-" I turned to wake up katsuki but I ran into his chest "I'm up" he said tiredly and stretched out I turned away and hoped onto my horse fixing my legs bandages "come on we don't have all day" I said smiling as he got onto his horse and I passed him food before we started continuing our journey "so how is it at the castle" I sang I was starting to get excited for the arrival "it's like the camp except with my old hags annoying ass there" he chuckled.

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I marveled as he hopped our horses infront of the bakugo castle it was magnificent "katsuki my boy" a loud voice rang out and I immediately bowed as the queen came before us and the king beside her "and who is this" she murmured as I rose "this is yn she was a slave who now is accompaning me" he said "and she's the only on" she said surprised peering around us expecting a whole parade "yes she's the only one" he muttered his eyes twitching "well young lady I am expecting grand babies within the year" she sung before disappearing into the castle leaving me shocked "she doesn't mean that dear and welcome to the family" his dad smiled before going to find his wife I turned to katsuki who was blushing as bright as a rose "wha-what" I stuttered "don't listen to the hag" he murmured and took my hand pulling me into the castle and up the stairs "where are we going" I asked "to my room where nothing of these extras disturb me" he said and pulled me into a room and shut the door "wow" his room was huge with its own connecting bathroom and balcony his bed was in the middle "I can get used to this" I smiled and jumped onto his bed it was more comfortable then the one at the campsite "what are you doing" he said as he came and stood at the beds side "I like this bed you can get a new one" I laughed "no way" he chuckled and layed on top of me "why do you like this" I giggled "because it means you can't leave me" he murmured "katsuki what does your mom mean about grand children" I asked looking at through the corner of my eye "yn" he said as he sat up letting me turn to see him "I was sent out to look for wifes to bear my children" I was getting more confused at the moment "I choose you because you were the only one to interest me" he murmured and pulled me to him "katsu" I said "I know I should've told you but I didn’t want to screw this up" he whispered staring at me I didn't know what to do but just kiss him our lips just crashed together as he pushed me down onto the bed "I feel the same katsuki" I murmured against his lips as his hands started to wonder over my body pulling off all my clothes "fuck katsuki" I moaned as his lips traveled to my neck then down to my breast giving them a light bite before moving down to my pussy "katsuki" my hands went straight to his hair pushing him into me as I grinded into him he was working miracles of his tongue "fuck I'm gonna cum" I whined cumming into his mouth "wow you taste fucking delicious baby" he growled and he sat up and started to pull off his clothes and getting back on top of me "I only want you to carry my children" he said before kissing me again and pushed his cock into me and started to push in and out "fuck katsuki" I whined wrapping my arms around his neck and scratched as he hit that one spot "does that feel good baby" he smirked and started to hit that spot everytime "shit baby your clenching" he groaned as he started going harder and faster "fuck I want to see you swell with my seed" he growled into my ear causing me to shiver and shudder "fuck I'm gonna cum" I cried as I ran my nails down his back "me too" he groaned thrusting one final time before shooting his seed inside me, we layed down with him still inside me "I fucking love you" he panted and kissed me "and our little growing family" he smiled as we dosed off.

Thee End.

My Other My Hero Academia Works 

Check Out My Other Works 

[wild-lavender-rose]

Sorry, first time requesting anything im not sure if im doing this right haha. But can you do a gender neutral reader with hank lawson. Where reader gets shot, dr mike does surgery, and we wake to up hank there. Fluff please!!:)

I've been waiting for inspiration to write this, anon, and it finally arrived! I hope this is fluffy enough for you :) Please feel free to send me another Hank request, I'm pretty sure we're the only two on here who love him and I'd love to grow my Dr. Quinn master list!

My Fault - Hank Lawson x reader

Warning- Cannon-typical language

It had been your own fault. One second you were between Hank and the black-clad stranger, trying to keep the two from killing each other over a misunderstanding about a horse. You had focused on the stranger, knowing Hank would listen to you and stand down the moment you intervened. You thought that the matter was settled and had turned around, walking back to where Hank waited, broody and silent.

The gunshot had sounded practically in your ear. You had fallen forward, pushed by the bullet. More gunshots. People were screaming. You tried to get up and fight. Hank was shouting but you couldn't understand him. You felt numb and cold all at once. The dirt was wet under your hands. Blood. But whose?

"Get Michaela, now!" Hank was on his knees next to you, keeping you from getting up. You had looked at him, vision blurred. You called to him, your voice sounding hollow and distant. His blue eyes were the last thing you remembered, frantic and helpless. He picked you up and the world went black.

The next time you woke you were in Dr. Quinn's office lying on her examination table. The pain was white hot, coming from your right shoulder. You cried out, trying to move, to escape. You were calling for someone over and over again. Hank. Hank, please. It's my fault, I'm sorry. Please.

Dr. Mike appeared over top you, pressing a white gauze to your nose, calming you with a soft voice and worried eyes. You sank back into darkness.

The next time you woke you were in one of her recovery rooms, the sunlight highlighting the cream colored quilt you were laying under. You were naked from the waist up but were covered by the quilt. A thick bandage was wrapped around your right shoulder. You felt stiff and hazy, but the pain was gone.

"Hey," a familiar, husky voice sounded by your head.

You looked to find Hank sitting by the bed, his oversized form hunched over in a chair too small for him. He smiled, his eyes even more bleary and red-rimmed than usual. It looked like he had been crying.

"Hank," you tried to talk but your tongue felt thick and fuzzy.

"Here," Hank hurried to pour you a glass of water from a basin sitting by the bed. He raised your head, helping you to drink.

Finishing the glass, you cleared your throat, trying once more. "Did he, am I," you glanced at your shoulder.

"Shot you in the back," Hank shook his head. "Bastard."

"You get him?"

"Jake did. Right in the head."

"Shoulda had a trial." You muttered, pretending that you weren't glad that your attacker.

Harry gave you a half smile. "Talkin' like Michaela now."

You smiled back, the gesture lessening as the memory of earlier washed over you. "M'sorry, Hank. I should have kept out of it. I just, I didn't want you hurt."

"Hey, shh. Don't worry about it," Hank leaned forward, brushing at your cheek with a soft and uncertain touch. "You just focus on resting up, all right?"

"Hank,"

"You'll be back to bothering me in no time." Carding his hand through your hair, Hank blinked a few times, smile wavering.

"Hank," you reached up, fingers tangling in one of the locks of hair falling in his eyes. You caressed his grizzled jaw with the back of your hand, your touch causing his eyes to close.

Hank leaned into your touch as if starved, like he was trying to memorize the moment. You felt yourself drifting off once more but fought to hold on, touching his face, conveying the thoughts you were unable to explain. I love you, you thought. I couldn't live without you.

Your hand grew weak, falling back rest on the quilt as your eyes fluttered shut. Hank pressed his hand, warm and steady, over yours. He whispered something you probably weren't supposed to hear. Something you would never forget.

"I love you, sweetheart. Don't leave me."

Fanfic Masterlist

[charnelhouse]

the way u write frank castle .... pls im yearning ...

A/N: Frank Castle x F!Reader. Bathroom sex. wound care. hurt/comfort.

Frank goes to Sister Margarets more than he should. He’s a frequent patron - addicted to its grime and the way the bartender doesn’t fret over spilled blood. He’s always bloody. It is as if he can’t screw the faucet shut. He bleeds and bleeds and his bones shatter and his lungs collapse, but he does not flinch or waver.

The injuries he receives in a fight are good. They blossom under his skin until he has a map of bruises from forearm to abdominal muscle to his inner thigh.

Honestly - he likes pain. He's a sadist. Maybe.

There’s a girl, too. A girl who is another fixture at Sister Margarets. He can’t tell how old she is because she is a multitude of contrasts. She is always clad in short, pleated skirts and navy sweaters that fit her like a second skin. A starched white button-up. Plum-berry lipstick. She would have been his porno fantasy a lifetime ago when he was stationed in the desert or those random nights when he felt like jacking off to a plastic-neon images he could envision between doctor appointments or soccer practices.

She is all of these things on the outside, but when he gets up close he sees a rift in her candy-pink shine. Her eyes are melancholy - aged and sharp and knowing.

He isn’t sure who or what she is, but sometimes she’ll sit next to him at the bar and they’ll sip their drinks in silence.

Sometimes they’ll fuck.

***

The bar’s bathroom is small and brown. The walls are papered with old newspaper clippings of St. Margaret’s patron’s affairs: the death of crime boss Raymond Reynolds, the capture of Kingpin, the battle of New York, etc.

Frankie fucks the girl with the same bruising roughness he utilizes to fight. He grabs her hard by the hips, hitches her white panties to the side, and plunges into her from behind. He gets a hand around her throat and squeezes until she bucks into him. There’s not a word shared other than grunting, the slap of skin, and brittle demands rippled in a low voice. Touch yourself. Arch your back.

She flashes her eyes at him - flutters her lashes. His cock shears through her slippery heat and it’s as if every stroke hits the rear of her throat. It’s crude - obscene and desperate and it’s perfect for Castle.

***

“You’re bleeding,” she remarks - casting him a sidelong glance. Her fingertips look as if she’d dunked them in a pot of gold powder. They glow faintly. It’s the first time she’s ever said a word to him that isn’t harder, faster, thanks.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s dripping on the floor.”

He shrugs and downs his drink - enjoying the warm brush of the alcohol. She stands abruptly - leaning close so that her breast knocks against his bicep. He can smell her perfume - it’s sugary and floral and gives him a faint headache.

“Bathroom,” she orders and he goes because of course he does.

***

Once inside, he grabs her fiercely by the waist.

“No,” she protests softly. “I didn’t mean that.”

That - the word that captures their dirty public restroom fucking.

“Take your shirt off,” She pushes his jacket off and then her fingers slide under the hem of his t-shirt. He stinks of blood - the iron swell of it clashing with her candy perfume.

He let her wrestle his shirt off. She doesn’t gasp when she sees the seeping parted flesh over his ribs. There is a new wash of red running into his jeans. She tilts her head - chewing her lower lip thoughtfully. He wants to lunge forward and take it between his teeth.

“Lean back.”

He does - his lower spine glued to the cold edge of the sink. She places her hand on his ribs and finally, her eyes meet his. She is very pretty - disarmingly so because he can’t read her well at all. Then again Frank Castle doesn’t try to read anyone. He doesn’t have the energy - the wherewithal to care.

“You must be fairly trusting,” she says.

“I don’t trust.”

She taps her fingers against his skin, her expression is curious. “You trusted me to do this?”

“I wouldn’t call that trust,” he shrugs. “I just don’t really give a shit.”

“What if I came in here to hurt you?”

“We haven’t used this bathroom for anything, but fucking. I made an assumption.”

“I suppose.”

She slides her tongue over her mouth. There’s the waxy sheen of her lipstick. “You don’t care if you get hurt,” she states, but it could be a question. He’s beginning to sweat.

“Not particularly.”

Then there is silence - the conversation is cut short. Her palm begins to heat and there’s a sharp, throbbing pain where the wound is. He ignores the sting because he’s had worse - a thousand times worse. But then he notices that her jaw tightens - her nostrils flaring like she’s the one in pain.

He glances down and there is a clean plane of skin over his abdominal muscles. She removes her hand and staggers back and he lunges for her - gripping her waist and letting her lean against his chest. “Sorry,” she pants. “I get a little woozy.”

She’s got her brow shoved up against his jaw. His chin is nudging the top of her head. It’s a strangely intimate position and yet he does not release her. She might fall.

“Did you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“The knife wound.”

She chuckles, but it sounds empty. “Is that what that was?”

He grunts. She’s quiet for a long moment as if she is considering his question. “I feel it for a few moments. It’s the cost of being able to heal pretty much anything.”

“You shouldn’t have wasted it on me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need it.”

“Alright,” she murmurs.

Frankie regrets his indifference. He should thank her. She had done him a service and now he wouldn’t be wasting a week trying to shut the wound with staples and risking infection.

“Sorry,” he mumbles in a gruff voice. He sounds miserable.

“You don’t like people taking care of you.”

“Is that a question or a statement? I can’t tell with you.”

“An observation. No one who comes to Sister Margaret’s likes to be taken care of - most of us have nowhere else to sulk.” Her cheek is still firmly pressed to his bare chest - her breathing is even and slow.

“Why’d you heal me then?”

“Maybe I wanted to give you something.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“You said that already.”

He shifts - rearranges his arm so that it slides around her waist - his hand finds her hip. He doesn't push her away or tell her to get off of him. He just lets her use him as long as she needs.

[liarlute]

please write fluffy hangster !!! maybe one had a nightmare and the other comforts them?? stablished relationship pls

im so sorry this took so long! it’s been a weird couple of weeks. enjoy<3 

“Bradley, I need you to wake the fuck up.” Jake murmured, curling a hand around his boyfriends shoulder until he jolted almost violently, a broken cry in lieu of a scream. His own hands were shaking, skating carefully over every inch of Bradley’s bruised torso that he could touch. There was a burning in his core, an intense and foreign concern he’d never really had to face before, but he pushed beyond it to draw Bradley hard against his chest as a grating scream pierced the air. “You’re okay Roo, it’s just me.” 

The wrecked tone of his own voice alarmed him, breaking in the middle of his sentence. Bradley was trembling from head to toe, his arms having curled around Jake’s torso to cling onto him. He was panting, chest rising and falling with aberrant stutters in between, catching on something that wasn’t there. He was cold to the touch, sweaty but shivering as he hid his face under Jake’s jaw, who was desperately trying to figure out how to broach what the fuck had just happened.

He didn’t say a word until Bradley’s arms slowly broke their lock around his chest and he leant back into a conversational distance, enough space to see his face tear-streaked and painted in blues of dawn, staring straight down at the tangle of duvet between them. He opened his mouth but no words came out, just a frustrated sigh.

Really, it didn’t matter how inexperienced with intimacy Jake was, or how little he knew about what to do in a situation as such, because Bradley seemed too incomprehensible to even tell him what happened without some sort of guidance. Jake internally cursed the cataclysmic effects that the Navy still had on men and their emotional competence if a person like Bradley couldn’t get the words out (he didn’t think about what that meant for himself).

“What happened?” Jake asked quietly, taking both of Bradley’s hands in his own with a level of caution. The other pilot was still staring away from him, out toward the window and its gleaming frame of light around their blind. 

He shook his head, squeezing his hands around Jake’s. “Bad dream. I’m sorry I woke you up.” His face was flushed and Jake wasn’t particularly sure if that was due to embarrassment or the stress, but a part of him broke at the sight, aching from deep within his chest. He would do anything, pay any amount of money, to make sure Bradley never looked like that again. Anything.

He held Bradley’s hands tighter in his own, lifting one to press a kiss to the back of his hand. They’d been together for a year and a half, blossomed off the back of the suicide mission with the dagger squadron, and he still felt a rush at being able to do that; at being able to kiss any part of Bradley. “Don’t apologise, sweetheart. Do you need anything? Something to drink, or do you want to talk about it?” The pet name felt odd on his tongue typically, reserved for use in a mocking way when he hammed up his inner Southern boy, but with Bradley it simply felt earnest. It had a wonderful effect too, because it made him even more pink in the face and the corners of his mouth finally twitched alongside a smile. Jake felt warm all over.

“I’m okay, I just…” The smile wavered. Jake traced patterns into the backs of both of his hands, nodding just enough for encouragement without speaking and shattering his groove. “I was back in the snow, but it was you this time that got shot down, not Mav. And this time, I didn’t get there quick enough. I don’t even know what the situation was, if we still hated each other or if it was you now. But when I got there it didn’t matter, because you’d been shot clean through, and there’s no hiding that much blood in the snow.”

He was shaking again, more violently than before, with his breathing rate picking up to an audible degree. Jake dropped one of his palms to gently catch Bradley’s bicep in hand and traced a pattern all the way up, curling around his shoulder and manoeuvring for a roll-off-the-top to skate back down along his collarbone. They seemed to lean and breathe into each other with no effort or conscious thought, tangled limbs and shared breaths in the quiet of their bedroom. Jake ached under the force of his adoration, but he kept it contained. He had to make sure Bradley was okay.

“Well I’m right here, Roo.” Warily, Jake looped his hand around Bradley’s wrist and brought it slowly up to his chest, pressing it palm-down and firm over his heart. “You feel that? Can you hear it? I’m right here and I’m alive, Bradley, and I’m not going anywhere.” He felt Bradley flex his fingers out, shift his palm over the steady beat of a heart beneath it, hand broad enough that the tips of his fingers curled into the bronzed juncture of Jake’s throat. 

“I love you.” Bradley murmured, just beginning to lose the hysterical edge that nightmares gave people. Jake laid his hand flat over the other man’s, slotting their fingers together over his chest, and gave the warmest smile he could possibly find.

“I know."

[kcthefirebreathing-bitchqueen]

Sexual Selection

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

warnings: reader and spence being horny, mutual pining, thoughts of masturbation (m), wet daydream (f), asking for pictures (non-sexually) via text

You and spencer spent the next two months chatting regularly via the dating app at first but at some point, it had graduated to text messages.

You discussed everything about yourselves, you were a third year phd candidate in the biology and chemistry department, he was a chemistry and criminology professor for undergrads. Though neither of them bothered to disclose where they studied or taught.

At some point they began talking on the phone through all hours of the night, just bonding over the little things they had in common or disecting a weird fact about the laws of nature that no one else had bothered to care about.

One day, you guys got on the subject of your style preferences and so now it was a tradition almost to send one another a daily picture of your outfit. You found yourself trying to find any excuse to show skin in your photos in hopes that this was more than an intellectual connection.

To see if your heart stood a chance, you decided to test your theory and switch it up.

You

···

I was thinking about this for today, what do you think?

Spencer

Hmm.. I like it but I think I need to see it on you to really know.

Oh god, oh geez, that definitley means he's into you, right? I mean you met him on a DATING app so you would assume thats why you're interacting in the first place. You don't know, this is all too confusing.

You snapped a photo of you in the outfit, but not before fussing with your hair and make up until you felt confident enough to send this man a picture.

Spencer

I think I feel jealous of anyone that gets to see you wear that in person.

The way that message made you feel made you realize how desparately you needed to get laid.

---------------------------------------------------

This semester you decided to TA for the new chemistry professor since you knew your way around the department, having studied biochemistry here for undergrad. But as you walked into the new professor's office your insides liquified.

Behind the rich mahogany desk, surrounded by more books than you thought was reasonable, was none other than Spencer,29 from Zazo.

He had not yet noticed your presence so you continued to look at him and try to confirm that this is the man who called you "not just a pretty face" with a damn winky face that made your throat tighten and your more sensitive bits to heat. Yep, you definitely needed to get laid.

The moment he looked up from his extremely large book (which you werent certain was even written in English) it was confirmed. As his brown irises were swallowed by his black pupils, his eyes slightly widened with something that looked halfway between recognition, surprise, and horror. His eyes raked down your body, snagging on each item of clothing that his brain recognized as the outfit you had sent him.

"Hi, Dr. Reid... I'm um- I'm y/n." He looked at you as if to say what the hell are you doing at my place of work "Your TA! Im your TA for the semester!" He stared back at you dumbstruck, at a loss for words. You held out your hand "Its- uh- its nice to meet you!" you say, cheeks heating and hand slightly wavering.

You watched him as he schooled his features back into neutrality as he shook your hand. Sparks danced along your hand and wrist as his skin slid over yours.

You looked down at the interlocked hands and you blushed at the sight of his hand. With long, lithe fingers and a wide palm that almost swallowed yours whole in comparison. And Jesus the veins in this mans hands. It made your brain wonder, if his hands felt like this on your palm just imagine what they'd feel like if they were somewhere else.

You could almost feel his hands wandering to your waist and around your thighs and in between your thighs... How soft they would feel teasing your entrance and pushing inside of you.

His voice that clearly belonged to someone of a burdeningly high IQ said "Uh, h-hi y/n. I'm um, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. Its nice to meet you."

Unbearable silence fell after that and you blurted "look I can resign and you can hire someone else if that makes you more comfortable and I-"

"No, no. We're both adults and we can be mature about this."

Did that mean he wanted to pretend that everything was platonic between the two of you? If so, you'd rather resign.

The tension was audible in your voice when you said "Okay, yeah for sure."

---

*Spencer's POV*

He was so beyond fucked. This beautiful girl that has been taking up much of his dreams, both day and night, and now he had to act like a normal human around her for an entire semester? He wasn't sure he would be able to withhold his attraction let alone keep it a secret.

It was inconceivable for him to hide his attraction to a girl that made his cock ache everytime she sent a picture of herself in the mirror under the guise of a fit check. So badly that the only relief would be to rub one out in the bathroom before doing anything else.

If a still, two dimensional portrayal of you had that impact on him, it had nothing on what seeing you in person in that tiny tank top did to him.

Immediately, he knew he needed to be with her in more ways than one.

And while, yes, she was very visually appealing, it had more to do with what happened in her head. He had never met someone so smart and beautiful in his life.

He was in for one rocky semester.

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

[you-did-well-moon]

Day6 Reaction to s/o learning their instrument while they're away

Type: Fluff, angst in Dowoon dont know what happened wasnt me

Word Count: 2.865

A/n: I took some creative freedom with why they were away but that is it. Keep in mind, I have no experience with instrument except for when I played the piano in 5th grade for like two weeks. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! - Moon

TW: small cuts, fight, second hand embarrassment

Sungjin

Sungjin was absolutely and devastatingly exhausted. His own guitar case felt like it was weighing him down tremendously, and he had a huge headache. Jae and Wonpil arguing in the back of the car was not helping in any way. It has been going on since they left the airport. He rubbed at his temples tiredly pressing his head against the cool window from his place in the passenger seat next to their manager. 

Still, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he thought about seeing you, probably curled up in the couch cheeks puffed from the snack you were inhaling. The pounding in his head lightened at the cute sight he would soon get to enjoy as he played with the loose threads of his old button up shirt. 

True to Sungjin’s imagination, your form was sitting on the couch. Not true to his imagination, you were actually bent over something in your lap, lightly humming and bopping your head to the rhythm being produced by your still clumsy fingers. The guitar in your lap had gotten lighter as the days went by without your boyfriend, and in replacement of his touch, leaving your fingertips warm and tingling, it was small cuts you hadn’t bothered to bandage as it disrupted you when playing.

 You missed Sungjin an abnormal amount. The cold spot in the bed or him making weird faces at you through the mirror in the mirror when brushing your teeth. You missed all of it. With a slight tremble in your chest you started playing the chorus to “You Were beautiful”.

You were so focused on trying to get it right you didn’t notice the door closing only to startle when you slightly looked up through your lidded eyes seeing the shadow looming over the coffee table. With a small yelp of surprise you jumped immediately looking up only to find your boyfriend staring at you with wide eyes. 

His surprised expression made you shrink into yourself. You threw your head into your hands in pure embarrassment letting the guitar gently slide off your lap, hitting the floor with a soft thump. “Can you just pretend you didn’t see that I can’t believe I even tried learning all that by myself I” you cut yourself off with an un-pleased sigh shaking your head and looking at him with pleading eyes. 

Your boyfriend continued in his frozen state for about five seconds before breaking out in the biggest smile rushing around the coffee table in which you panicked trying to get away from him with a squeal, but being too slow im the excitement that was usually in a much dormant state in Sungjin. The wrinkles near the corner of his eyes deepened adoringly, and his chest shook with soft laughter while he held you close. 

There was a fond twinkle in his eye as Sungjin forgot any tiredness that clung to his bones and kissed the tips of your fingertips while maintaining eye contact. He kept your hands encased in his when scolding you for having such low faith in yourself and softly encouraging you. He would probably put little stitch band-aids on your fingertips and continue teaching you, sitting you on his lap and scolding you when you lose focus with a sharp poke at your ribs smiling when you giggled. This man just fell impossibly more in love with you.

“You shouldn’t say those things, look at you love, learning all alone and doing so well. I'm so proud. Would you rather have the elmo band-aids or the stitch band-aids… I don’t know about you but Elmo kinda creeps me out. Just five more minutes little love then you can go mug Young k with Dowoon. Don’t look at me like that! You finally have a teacher and you take him for granted. The audacity-”

Jae

Jae was a thin hair away from just ripping his hair out. He didn’t believe the kpop industry would take very kindly to him going bald, but he had come to a point where he didn’t really care about what people thought anymore. But thinking about you not being able to play with his hair anymore while he drifted off to sleep with his head on your chest severely upset him.

 Jae had gotten stuck in another limbo, stuck in the studio and in his own head desperately trying to finish any of the unfinished songs left in his computer files. He missed you so much, he eventually called it quits, deciding to go home to you, who he hadn’t seen in days.

Just the thought about seeing you energized his previously exhausted self. He never could get sick of you. Every day, every week was a new adventure, a new chapter, all with his favorite person in the world. The night sky, although beautiful, seemed to mock him, reminding him of how late it was, meaning you were most probably asleep. 

Opening the door to his apartment, he heard soft music. He briefly recognized “I Need Somebody”, and thought you were playing it from your phone. All his thoughts came to a halting stop when he saw you perched on the bed, in his shirt, playing the melody of the previously mentioned song.

You had hair falling into your eyes with your eyebrows slightly scrunched trying not to mess up and heavily focused. Jae had loudly yelled in surprise, causing you to flinch and look up shocked at the sudden surprise. When you saw it was just him, you had comically thrown your hands in the air yelling at him about how it was supposed to be a surprise. 

The irritated look on your face vanished as you went up to give him a light hug with a kiss, softly smiling at him. Meanwhile Jae, was completely out of it, lovestruck eyes while he instinctively returned your affection.

“Come Jae, you look like you haven’t slept in ages, your eyes are so sunken babe”, you had softly whispered to him, rubbing the soft skin under his eyes, the way you were always soft with him when he came back from the studio. You slept in the same bed for the first time in what had been days, Jae tightly clutching on to you.

 He may have not been completely there at the moment, but in the morning when he had time to process everything, he was a changed man. He wouldn’t stop laughing and giggling excitedly, eagerly wanting to hear everything you had learnt. He even poked fun at you when you made a mistake. But it was all lovingly as he also praised you non stop while looking at you with his messy hair and big smile next to you on the couch. He had so much inspiration now. To finish what had been left behind.

“Pop off queen who gave you this much talent, you couldn’t even tell me what bass was last time we talked, which was like a week ago. Might just make you play when I don’t feel like playing. Give you a wig and people won’t know the difference! Why are you booing me, I'm right?”

Young K

Young K’s foot tapping on the floor of the car was the only sound that filled the car aside from the soft sound of the car’s engine and tires. He was absolutely spent, having to have stayed in a different city for a show he was invited to that was filmed far away from his home. 

Far away from you. Young K could tell his manager was starting to get irritated, but Young K was already massively annoyed and too far in his own world to really care. He missed the pine scent of his sheets, and he missed you.

It was not a good combination. When he got to his place he quietly thanked the manager,  getting his bag before trying to ignore every urge telling him to run into the building and fall into his soft bed with you in his arms. When he opened the door, your keys were there, so he knew you were in the building. That thought filled him with more relief than it should have. 

He did have to admit, hearing “I smile” this early in the day was odd as you usually saved the more mellow songs for later in the night. Young K told himself he had many euphoric moments in his life, but seeing you staring at a sheet of paper with so much determination and a bass guitar in your arms came pretty close to the top.

The absolute warmth that exploded in his chest was a feeling he would not forget in a long time. He could feel his lips slightly curl up in fondness as your hands shook while your eyes wavered unsurely between your hands on the strings and the video on your laptop sitting further on the edge of the bed. Your face scrunched up before you sighed and stared dejectedly at the instrument on your lap. 

“Why so sad love?" His voice made you instantly sit up, pushing the instrument gently off your lap. You crawled to the edge of the bed where Young K had already gotten closer where he met you tenderly running his hand through your hair, and he curved his hand around the back of your head bringing your forehead to his abdomen.

He brushed his thumb over where your hairline met the sensitive skin of the back of your neck immensely enjoying being back at your side. Your hands were clutching the back of his shirt, and your simple touch brought a warm feeling to his chest. You both leaned back as Young K’s chest started to rumble with laughter “You should have waited for me, it would have been easier if I could teach you”, he softly said, pushing your hair back from your face causing you to lightly laugh.

 “I wanted to surprise you, but I didn’t get that far anyways. Can’t become a prodigy in one day I guess”. Young K smiled again, promising to himself to help you as much as he could as he put his hand fondly on top of your head.

“You’re doing so good, just move your finger up a little, you’re plucking the c chord instead of the e chord during the chorus, don’t look at me like that i’m trying to help?! I wouldn’t put you on my level, but I think you’re doing really well. I’m hungry now, what do you want? No- What do you want? I am okay with anything just tell me-”

Wonpil

Wonpil was trying his hardest not to think about you. From the way you got excited when you got to see the moon in the cloudy sky to the way you smiled when you saw the neighbor’s cat while getting the mail. 

He was happy to be on a trip with her sister, he hadn’t had much time to be with her in recent, well forever really. While you had been invited, you hadn’t been able to attend due to work. Wonpil did his best to keep his mind off you and enjoy the trip, he just hadn’t spent this long without you in a while. 

Even so, he still had a fun time with his sister and her boyfriend creating many memories. He didn’t regret it, but he was extremely happy to come back to you. Opening the door to your apartment, he dropped his suitcase by the door, an excited smile tugging at his lips as he traveled through the apartment with his arms spread knowing you would embrace him as soon as you saw him. He felt so giddy, he didn’t even notice the broken keyboard sounds ringing throughout the living space.

His smile fell in a comical way, his face morphing into one of confusion instead. He recognized a broken rendition of “Mary had a little Lamb”, and tilted his head as he opened the door to your room seeing you with really big headphones on your head staring down at the keyboard with the most offended look on your face.

 How dare this keyboard not give you its secrets! Wonpil couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his chest, not mocking you, but he just thought you were so cute. He lightly touched your shoulder causing you to jump, and the slight movement of your head caused the headphones to slide off your head. It didn’t matter much. You instantly dove into his arms, pressing the side of your face against his chest.

He felt warmth flood his chest as his hand encased the back of your head while he pressed his lips to the top, closing his eyes in bliss enjoying having you in his arms again. He leaned back from the brace as his eyes flashed with amusement and yours with slight embarrassment. He lightly laughed, eyes crinkling. He cradled your face in his hands, a teasing lilt to his voice, “What were you trying to do, hmm?” He could feel your face grow hot under his finger tips.

 “I was just trying to surprise you. I felt bad for not being able to go with you”. He shook his head, hands playfully pinching your cheeks as you whined. “You shouldn’t act that way, I understood from the beginning. It must have been hard for you. Here, come, your lovely boyfriend will make this easier for you”.

“Y/n the keys will not bite prEsS dOWn, no, no keyboards do not have to be oiled, this is a musical instrument not a mechanical vehicle. You are so cute. What am I gonna do with you? No, you can not play the keyboard with your forehead, DO NOT put your foot on the keys. I don’t care if it’s for the vine. 

Dowoon

Dowoon was beating himself up. Looking back at what happened a few hours ago made his chest tight. He couldn’t help but wince at the words both of you had thrown at each other. You had been with each other for so long, and when his lovely mother asked him when he would propose, although with good intentions, it put pressure on him.

 He was still young. He had mentioned it to you in a joking manner, but there was a misunderstanding and you thought he was blowing it off as he didn’t see a future with you. 

Somehow feelings were hurt, and the fight escalated. And Dowoon decided he was a coward because it was when you had started stuttering through your words and avoiding eye contact, he knew. He knew he had pushed you across a line that might not be able to be crossed again. 

He panicked. He was really good at doing that wasn’t he? He left. He took a bus and went to the nearest hotel he could find. There he was sitting on the edge of the too perfectly made bed with his head in his hands.

Had he just ruined his precious relationship because he was scared of what the future could or could not hold? Why did he have to run away? Why couldn’t he just stay? Most importantly, how badly had he hurt you?

 With a sigh he stood up, and he got on the bus back to your apartment. Staring at the door, the fact you were just on the other side and hurting is what pushed him to open it with the key you had given him. Opening the door, he was met with silence and darkness. Have you already gone? He walked through the apartment, hope dwindling with every step. 

Then he heard a soft thump thump thump. His heart seemed to match with it, and as he walked to his studio which held his spare drum set, he thought of what he could say to make it better. Opening the door, he saw you softly hitting the drum with one stick, as if testing the waters and humming along to “When you Love Someone”. Dowoon couldn’t fight the sad smile that broke out on his face, and the absolute warmth that filled his chest. 

Why did he ever even doubt your future with him? There was no person more perfect for him than you. He stood next to you, softly taking your hand in his and guiding your hand to the right beat, although a bit broken. When your sad eyes looked up into his, forgiving in nature but still frustrated beyond belief, he knew he could still fix things. You were you, and Dowoon was Dowoon. You always somehow found your way back to each other.  

“No no, put your hands higher on the stick, no lower, now higher...a bit lower. No, Y/n drum sticks do not belong in my throat. What do you mean I have no room to talk, I thought we were over the fight. I would marry you in this life and the next! Why are you looking at me like that? I am not cute, I am handsome and overflowing with testosterone. Oooh are those gummies?

[lantsovsupremacist]

nikolai lantsov: august

@wafflesandschemingfaces requested a piece inspired by august, and i am more than happy to push the august agenda. THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG IM SO SORRY!!! i hope it’s okay that i worked this in as a part two of “mirrorball.”

happy AUGUST babes! this was originally going to end angsty but i was feeling generous so enjoy the happier ending :)))

he tasted like salt, which had been a rarity at home. with the prices spiking in the cities, the smaller markets in the countryside could not supply even the simplest spice. having reignited the placated desire, you were greedy for more of him.

over the last seven months, you took advantage of nearly every opportunity the volkvony offered. you strengthened your abilities at sea with the careful instruction of the two other tidemakers onboard. tamar’s twin brother, toyla, guided your interest in grisha literature and history.

certain adjustments proved more difficult than others. you were no stranger to early work or rising in a shared room. however, despite the bright flush from the use of your powers, your muscles ached under the strain of the new practice. you found your training to be an unfamiliar yet cherished consistency.

you struggled with feelings of inferiority at first. the other female tidemaker, yelena, was a stowaway from the little palace. disregarding her heavy contempt for the school there, her experience helped you immensely.

peter was also a comfort in his own way. another self-taught grisha himself, it only pained you to hear of his family’s acceptance and attempts to teach him. your family might not have thrown you to the fjerdans but they offered little to help you control the power.

time could not move backwards to prevent your wounds but it could move forward to heal them.

now, perched on the deck beside yelena, you were calmer and more confident than ever before. you watched sturmhond out of the corner of you eye, turning your head in the wind to guide a piece of hair back out of your face. his white shirt billowed in the wind, sleeves rolled up and hands in the air to help dictate one of his famous stories.

“you look at him as if he hung the stars in the sky himself,” yelena snorted, elegantly drawing up a rather powerful wave to hasten your journey south, “trust me, he’ll take the hint and never let it go.”

but for you, perhaps he had. a new constellation, at least. three stars shined brighter than before for you, now visible to the naked eye. freedom, purpose, and opportunity. his gracious offer extended to beyond the imaginable.

“i could never have dreamed of this,” you replied earnestly, lightly bumping into her hip with your own.

“kerch does not have blondes, no?” she teased, exaggerating her already thick ravkan accent.

you blushed, nonetheless, “you’re going to get us off task, yelena.”

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to the sea with a grunt. you did not miss the small smile that barely touched her face after, however. you would have missed it if she had not adjusted your arm, lifting it higher to create a higher crest.

in truth, you did not mind. you enjoyed observing. from your station at one side of the hull, you had a suitable view of the surrounding activity on the deck. storytelling only happened to be one of the aforementioned pursuits by the crew.

—

the first time was an accident. you nearly ran into him one morning during your second week onboard. the sun had filtered through the cracks in your room, beckoning your rise. you chased the sunbeams up the staircase adjacent to the door and soaked in the warmth they graciously provided.

the sunrise was magnificent. too distracted by the beauty painted in front of you in the sky, your elbow caught the captain’s. your eyes immediately went wide, an apology poised on your tongue. growing up with seven siblings, you were accustomed to making yourself smaller to allot room for the others. what other habits would you lose during your time aboard the volkvony?

“that’s quite alright,” sturmhond replied, eyes twinkling at the pale pink flush of your cheeks, “i suppose the sunrise caught my attention, as well,” he turned his head back, “though, that might not be all that did.”

as the tempo of your heart approached a crescendo, you nodded with a nervous smile. your eldest sister’s experiences with boys were all you had to go off of. your parents were together, yes, but as you aged, you realized that the nature of their union simply secured stability for the both of them. love had been an after thought and a forgotten one at that.

“want to watch it with me?” his eyes were brighter than the sun, more vibrant than the various hues splattered across the sky.

sounding just as much of a child as did he, you responded, “i would love to.”

he waited for no counter, immediately taking your hand in his to nearly drag you up the stairs. his hand was surprisingly warm despite the slight chill in the morning air. your brain fought the feeling of his touch at first, recognizing the pressure of his fingers now intertwined with yours but refusing to reciprocate the gesture.

by the time the sun reached a pinnacle in the sky, shining it seemed for just the two of you, you had given him your hand and your heart.

you let him memorize your story, pausing when he could not remember the order of your siblings. you repeated it until he could. the mornings were filled with whispers and soft touches. you thought he was helping you write a new story—one where maybe, you could have your perspective at the forefront.

—

the pressure of his his knee shamelessly pressing into yours dominated your thoughts. you decided that it would be more disconcerting to slide away from him but each passing moment added fuel to the fire of his warmth. you did not know what to think about the way he made you feel.

“i’m not who you think i am,” the privateer spoke, deadly calm. his tone did not waver, nor did the contact his eyes maintained with the horizon.

you wanted to tease the boy beside you but one look at the frown overtaking his face gave you pause. you felt increasingly uncomfortable, which you never did with him, not even when he first introduced himself. it was all wrong.

“i’m not sure what you mean,” you whispered hesitantly, trailing your fingers in the dust of the deck before they grew too numb to control.

his jaw clenched. his eyes bore into the sea. you only heard the sound of his breath—strangled and uneven.

“sturmhond,” you tried, watching as the wind ruffled his tawny and unkept hair.

“no,” he strained, “nikolai.”

an unusual name but a beautiful name, you decided.

“i-i don’t understand,” you fought to get the words out—battling with breaths instead of bombs, syllables instead of swords.

you wanted to push it all aside for naive hope, content with your pocket of fool’s gold.

“do you remember when we sailed to the outskirts of ravka?” he questioned you, gaining control of the previous shake in his voice.

you hummed in reply, trying to put together the pieces of his puzzle before he realized you had not finished yet.

the blonde looked like he was in pain when he next spoke, “the prince,” he began with his eyes timidly locked on your own, “his name is nikolai.”

contrary to your lack of education, you were clever and thus, able to fill in the blanks for yourself.

“who else knows?” you might have hoped for something more but you were not innocent enough to believe the prince only shared his identity with the girl who had succumbed to his longing stares.

“the twins,” he began with a sigh too heavy for him to carry alone, “yelena. one or two others.”

yelena knew. for some reason, your stomach turned at that. you knew it was misplaced and unnecessary jealously but there it sat all the same, weighing you down like an unmovable stone. a similar pressure pulsed behind your eyes, forcing a collection of tears to your waterline.

he offered an apology with words, but it was his eyes that held the true sincerity, the way his fingers restlessly knotted in his lap, and that even though it was a fight, he had moved aside to give you space. you wanted to believe that everything would be okay despite the change, that it could be, at least.

your heart ached. you never wanted him further away from you. or closer. his body was too familiar now.

nikolai never belonged to you, not really. and even if ravka would inevitably melt his golden heart and carelessly mold it to their benefit, he belonged to the broken country. not to you. never to you—alone.

with that, of course, you could not belong to him, either. a farmer’s daughter who did not complete her primary studies. maybe you did have a claim to grisha power, but you knew enough about ravka to understand that you would be a soldier. you already felt like one, fighting an endless battle between your head and heart. diligence and desire.

“you let me—,” you swallowed thickly, “give myself to you. you made it so easy to be sure.” now, you were no longer as certain in your decisions.

he kicked his feet in the water, unable to carry your gaze lest he lose it much like your heart, “i hoped it could be different.”

you searched for anything to ground yourself in along the horizon, burning your eyes in the sinking sun, “you’ll have to go back, then.”

he nodded, his head bobbing more fitfully than the waves, “yes.”

your did not want to talk any longer because if you did, you were sure that you would cry. you decided that you had, in fact, been foolish. how could you live off of hope alone? your destiny belonged to the fields not the sea.

“okay.”

“okay?” nikolai repeated, voice dancing between disbelief and what might have been anger, unable to remember the next step, “that’s all that’s left?”

“i think so,” you replied airily, turning to brush a lock of his hair behind his ear, “because i understand. i might not want to. well, i certainly don’t want to but—,”

you were cut off and for the blonde boy beside you to do it, you knew he had good reason. he gave you a voice simply by listening, something few had done for you before. your words had been stolen by his lips in the end.

“i might not be able to give you nikolai,” his lips were down turned but now flushed with color, “but i can give you sturmhond. i can give you nik,” he brought your hand to his heart, “that is if you’ll have me?”

you did not belong to prince nikolai of ravka. he could not be a character in your story. but, you could write another chapter. you could change the plot for the better.

you kissed him with as much fervor as he had earlier. he twisted his fingers into your hair, winding a passage to the back of your neck. you curled into the warmth radiating from his side, fisting his shirt before slowly pulling away.

“i can’t believe you’re a prince.”

that earned you a laugh. the laugh you knew you could never live with losing. if you could not have him entirely, you would hold onto anything that could be yours. just yours. for now, the heat of the sun on your faces split wide with grins was enough.

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