#In fairness to you: only book I read was Order of the Phoenix

[roseseafoam]

What is your Hogwarts house?

Babygirl I am 29…

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on remadora?

thank you very much for the asks, anons!

while they are by no means my otp, i really enjoy remadora as pairing - and i think they’re fully up there among the canon couples in terms of being an amazing vehicle through which to explore all sorts of questions about life and love - which i am aware is a sufficiently controversial statement that it involves an immediate engagement with some discourse…

because remadora girlies [gender neutral] get an enormous amount of shit within the fandom, particularly from fans who consider wolfstar to be a more plausible pairing for lupin than tonks. i have seen remadora shippers called homophobes for simply enjoying the couple, justified with the bizarre idea that it disrespects remus' relationship with sirius [so... the non-canon one?] to put them together. i have seen tonks turned into a pathetic shrew who is trying to keep remus from the real love of his life by trapping him with an unwanted baby. i have seen remadora shippers get a lot of the usual stuff that people who prefer the canon-endgame couples do [that to ship a canon pair is boring, that it is indicative of a lack of talent, that it indicates an uncritical support for jkr] magnified to eleven because tonks has the temerity to be a barrier to remus’ relationship with the fandom’s favourite hot and brooding man.

obviously, this is bullshit - primarily because its unreasonable and cruel to invest so much time and energy being mean to people because of their harry potter shipping preferences [fandom should never be that deep].

but it’s also a disappointment to me personally because it means that it can be very hard to find the sort of remadora i like without looking like i’m coming to contribute to the pile-on. because where many remadora fans and i don’t see eye-to-eye is that i have absolutely no interest in thinking about them as a relationship which is actually functional. and, all too often, i find myself sifting through fics which do prefer to interpret them like this - as romantic and passionate and stable - largely, i think it’s fair to say, as a defensive move against the tide of “urgh, imagine shipping that” nonsense - even though all the evidence of canon is that they are… very much not.

i am aware of the pottermore article which smoothes the edges of lupin’s canonical reaction to tonks’ feelings for him in half-blood prince - but, while i read this as something of a retcon to make the relationship more palatable, i also don’t think that assuming that both tonks and lupin’s attraction to each other was sincere precludes them being as dysfunctional as they canonically are. i don’t go in for the common anti-remadora argument that tonks “forces” him into a relationship with her - it’s clear in half-blood prince that it’s not only her who has discussed her feelings with molly and arthur weasley, lupin is definitely flirting with her when they pick harry up in order of the phoenix, lupin is an adult man [no matter other power imbalances between him and tonks - such as the fact that she is an agent of the state which oppresses him] who possesses the capacity to refuse her advances, and - since teddy’s conception is not immaculate - he has no issue with enjoying a sexual relationship with her even if he then wants to run away from the product of that.

instead, what i like with remadora is that they reveal something which goes against the grain of the rest of the series: that love is not always enough. throughout the seven-book canon, we see time and time again the idea that love - and, crucially, love-as-noble-suffering and love-as-sacrifice - is enough to overcome any problem. entire civil service collaborating with a terrorist regime? don’t trouble yourself, love has won. your mother dying in childbirth leaving you to be neglected in a state institution? your own fault you’re not interested in love.

i understand the genre reasons for this, but i also love the way in which lupin especially exists on the margins of these genre conventions [just as he exists on the margins of wizarding society!]. i’m always struck in deathly hallows that he’s the only person who’s actually realistic about the demands of war - particularly when he tells harry that it is breathtakingly naive for him to think he can get through the fighting without having to shoot to kill - and that part of him having to be shuffled out of the way when harry tells him to return to the pregnant tonks is because, were the story focused on realism, the idea of a wanted man who is considered an unhuman by the state fleeing in order to guarantee the safety of his wife and unborn child becomes eminently reasonable and harry's defense of the nuclear family embarrassingly unradical.

and so i like the idea of lupin seeing tonks - and tonks seeing lupin - initially as just a bit of fun, as the two of them being just two chill single people who think the other is hot and interesting and want to bang because of it.

[which is something fandoms in general really struggle with as a concept. we like epic love stories - and you won't find me objecting to that! - but we're less good at thinking about casual sexual attraction or transient friendships, and how these can be transformative and meaningful without having to end up going any sort of distance.]

and i then like the idea of the relationship being forced into a profundity it doesn’t really have the juice to sustain by the sheer avalanche of grief which besets the two of them - sirius, dumbledore, mad-eye, ted - and by the pressure of the war and the fact that the order is scrambling and the hangover of remus' self-destruction in half-blood prince which makes each cling to the other as a life-raft. i like remadora as something codependent and messy and strange and sad, and i don’t think this prevents it being sincere and fun and based in mutual attraction, but instead that these positive qualities can exist in conjunction with the fact that, without the war, it would have been a summer of fucking and that was probably it.

on tonks herself, i don’t think i can say it better than @evesaintyves in this meta on her character. i’ve been really uncomfortable with quite a lot of stuff i’ve seen recently which has taken against the idea that tonks can be meaningfully read as queer on the basis of what we find in the text, above all because it so often comes with the implication that one cannot imagine her in her canon endgame pairing and presume that she’s something other than straight or cisgender. eve sets out an excellent case for tonks as bolshy and liberated and in tune with herself and fun and confused and in flux and still figuring stuff out about who she is and where she’s going - and this translates, may i say, to an astonishingly beautiful way of writing her, lupin, and the dysfunction inherent between them which i highly recommend you read.

[temis-de-leon]

Well it’s more on what you said about Dumbledore. Like his manipulativeness and being a walking red flag. Do you think your mc (or any mc in general) grew more aware of those aspects as her time in hogwarts went on? Like the more dumbledore scolded them about getting into all the trouble but how they were also frustrated and could snap back about how he (and frankly the other adults) weren’t doing so much anyway. Do you think by the time they finished school, they could have had a jaded, so to speak, opinion? Could there be any sort of respect or regard left?

It's been a while since I've read the books and played the game, but I think the only students Dumbledore calls by name are the ones he's trying to manipulate, like Harry, Draco, Tom and the MC. All of these characters have been chosen by prophecies, power or blood to be important in the storyline and Dumbledore knows it.

By singling out a kid who is already popular among their peers, and building enough trust to use their first name instead of last, you use their sense of maturity in your favour. Besides Tom, the rest of the students know they aren't equal to Dumbledore, but they're higher than their classmates. They have special (dangerous) tasks, private discussions with him about real enemies and permission to do a lot of things.

MC is a character that accidentally and willingly puts themselves into danger and never really receives any significant help from the adults who are supposed to be looking out for them (look at how many ghosts around the castle are students), especially Dumbledore.

And I think that's because he's afraid of what you're just saying. Him being an excellent legilimens gives him an obscene amount of advantage in this situation; that's how he discovered Draco's and Snape's true feelings, after all.

The only thing he does is punish MC. Sure, sometimes they survive their adventures by pure luck and being at the right place at the right time, but MC is literally being haunted by a dark wizard, the same as Harry. Both escape death almost every year and only MC gets punished. A year working in the kitchen is supposed to be fair? That only serves as a way to keep tabs on MC, not discipline.

If I remember correctly, which I'm not sure, I think MC does point out the unfairness sometimes. They just want to get their brother back and no one except them is doing anything, so their animosity against Dumbledore would be inevitable. Involuntary and unaware, but present over time and accompanied by a lot of resentment.

In the end, MC has every reason to go against Dumbledore and I definitely would if I was there. It doesn't mean I would side with dark wizards, but I'd never go with the Order of the Phoenix.

[pool-of-gwens]

the unofficial rules of reading comic books (in my completely unqualified opinion)

1. do not start by reading Alan Moore comics (speaking from experience,, they're good but I would recommend getting used to the medium and understanding the social context of them first)

2. adapt to any new information given and accept that you will likely never fully understand everything

3. you will eventually find that comic writer that you hate with a burning passion (everyone has one) (and if you don't, you will)

4. new 52 fucking sucks (there are a few exceptions)

5. sometimes they will set up a storyline and then drop it

6. you do not need to understand the context of everything you read

7. you do not have to read everything in order

8. most comics have arcs of about 5-6 issues, these will likely come out at trade paperbacks or graphic novels later

9. YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY HAS GRAPHIC NOVELS!!!

10. try not to get stuck, I know it's easy to just read batman or just read marvel comics but please try to branch out or try something new,,,, reading only X-Men is fun and all but sometimes you gotta read some Blue Beetle too

11. other comic fans have different opinions to you, that's fine

12. every single comic has a biggest fan and a biggest hater (this is okay)

13. support your local comic shop/comic fairs

14. comics can be very dumb

15. the biggest difference between Marvel and DC is the name of the publisher

16. most DC writers/artists have written/drawn Marvel comics and most Marvel writers/artists have written/drawn DC comics

17. You should check out other comic publishers like IDW, Archie, Dark Horse or Image,, or even check out local comic makers in your area

18. canon is the things that stay the same when a different person writes a character

19. at some point every comic fan will read these comics, House of M, Watchmen, One of DC's many Crisis Events, a Marvel comic where The Phoenix Ruins Everything, the Comic you Hate Most in the World, Probably Something Written By Stan Lee and The Sandman

20. no one stays dead except Bucky Barnes, Jason Todd and Uncle Ben

21. the nineties in comics were the nineties in comics

22. you must read comics that don't have batman in it (please I'm begging you)

23. your favourite cartoon was likely inspired by comics (or written by) a comic writer

24. someone else has a completely different interpretation of your favourite character (and both interpretations can co-exist) (it is the nature of a medium that has so many creators telling stories about the same characters for details to contradict sometimes)

25. comics are artforms, they tell stories, they can be beautiful and thought provoking and gut wrenching and heart breaking and hopeful (or they can be none of these things)

26. questioning character choices, small details and information given in the comics you read is the first step to analysing and engaging with the material (so you think batman should kill??? now think about why he doesn't.) (you believe magneto is right??? now tell me why he's considered a villain)

27. sometimes it's deeper than you think

28. sometimes it isn't

29. remember the names of the writers and artists you love, too often comic creators are under appreciated

30. Jeff is people too

(feel free to add more)

[vivithefolle]

Aside from letting Luna of all people take a dig on Ron for some non-existent reason, i think Hermione's self insertion and Mary Sue writing also damaged Luna's. It's the emotional awareness Hermione randomly gained after book 3 having no selfawareness due to her pride and rigidness being a jerk to people. Hermione is randomly the one who tells Ginny - who has NOTHING in common with her and busying with Quidditch or teaming up in crime with the twins - to be herself, but not Luna (1)

who was always Ginnys friend and whose thing was always "be yourself dont care". Hermione is the one who knows Ginny is Harry type and can read Harry like a book, despite not clicking with him at all when it comes to things he and Ginny cared about, in the same book, but not Luna, who Harry liked and related to since book 5. (2)

Hermione is the one who tells Harry Ron was jealous of him – gee thanks Hermione, wouldn’t be be less insecure if his supposed love interest cared about things he cared about instead of whatever the hell you were doing in book 3 and 4. Luna is supposed to be the openminded, emotionally free and caring, people reading, deep quoting, knowledge applying Ravenclaw, but only in theory. , but thanks to being there late AND Hermione, she was reduced to an outcast for the sake of ir. (4)

She has no character development either, nothing but a weirdo conspiracy theorist that didn’t even get to have a “rival” arc with Hermione, to develop either of them from being total antagonistic opposites, and a prop in book 7 for when Harry needs her. Hermione remains a closeminded asshole with NO true friends but two, but now somehow always right, and Luna…nothing that shows a good Ravenclaw, despite what movie fans tells themselves.

(7) Hermione is badly written bc she’s DAMAGING to all characters that comes close to her, and the more I reread I realize why the fandom was so divided and toxic around her. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Rowling ruined them all with the self insert.

Let's be fair and remember that Luna came in last.

She was in the prime spot to be "the new character that shows everyone what they've been missing all along" and as such would be in a prime spot to earn the fan's ire, but she wasn't.

I don't find it awful that Luna wasn't given much to do; she was the newcomer. She appeared in Order of the Phoenix; it's a testament to how cool she is as a character that she sticks to people's minds so much to the point that some chucklefucks will cry about Ginny "coming out of nowhere" only to ship Harry with Luna, who actually did come out of nowhere as far as the books before OOTP were concerned.

The biggest tragedy of all this is... even if she's coming in five books later, Luna still has more backstory and substance to her character than Hermione ever gets in SEVEN books.

Seven books we have of Hermione solving problems for Harry and being basically a crutch for exposition and plot devices, and we still have no idea who she is outside of "being useful to Harry" or "the girl waiting for Ron to grow up, isn't he such a bother taking so long".

Luna could, might have been more. It's sad that she's such a missed opportunity in the end - and it's sad that she's the only non-Gryffindor of the team.

But she's also the last introduced, and as such Hermione should take priority over her when it comes to character development and all that - Hermione is an important secondary character, like Ron is. A problem with other characters' relationships in HP though is that no progress can be made unless Harry is there to observe it. Harry Potter has no object permanence, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[phoenixrising0308]

The Time Apart: Needle and Thread

Books: The Royal Romance

Rating: G

Triggers: None Identified by this author

Pairing: (no pairing) Hana Lee x Jessica Garcia (Friendship)

A/U: Agent Phoenix: Forged in Fire - The time apart: This timeline occurs during Jessica's absence in Cordonia or when not formally paired in Cordonia with Liam as the TRR cast and original characters deal with her absence as well as Jessica and Liam attempt to go through life without each other. Stories may or may not have an in the present timeline component and are not always in order. It depends on the prompt, random inner thoughts, and the muse whenever they stop by. There are no chapter numbers as they are written as just a series of events in story form. Multi-part stories, as always, are labeled.

Detailed disclaimer

Catch me here

A/N #1: Jessica and Hana remember each other

Song Inspiration: Tell me how - Paramore

Word count: 2,322*As always, forgive my typos and grammatical errors.

* Reading time: 9 minutes

Cordonia, Social Season

Hana Lee tried her best to look dignified despite sitting utterly alone at the high tea ceremony held this afternoon, shunned to a single table by the other court ladies. She was correctly remembering her training of folding her lace-covered hands in her lap, sitting up straight, and forcing a small polite smile. Her failed engagement last year caused her to feel like even more of a failure as she was outcasted by the women of the court.

Hana smiled at seeing Olivia and Kiara pass her table and said, "Ladies, these seats are open if you would like seats!" She said it a little too enthusiastically than she intended.

Olivia smirked at Kiara before setting her sights back on Hana. She replied, "That won't be necessary. We were discussing at our table how better to win over Prince Liam from past experiences, and well…I doubt you'd have anything constructive to add. All things considered."

Hana felt her smile fall as Kiara snickered behind her hand, and Olivia smiled victoriously. It was only the first week here, and it seemed Olivia wasted no time picking up any weaknesses Hana had. Hana felt a bottomless pit of shame forming in her stomach as she frowned. She almost wanted to excuse herself from crying in the ladies' room not to cause a scene.

"If you act like this for no reason other than to be petty, I'd hate to think how you would act as Queen." A voice with an accent not found in any neighboring region of Cordonia said from behind them.

Like all the other ladies, Jessica stood there, arms folded with a delicate dress and a small fancy hat. However, she gave a challenging glare to Olivia's way that Olivia gave right back.

Olivia scoffed and retorted, "Oh yeah? And what would you know about being Queen? You're not even from a Royal bloodline."

Jessica shrugged, "True. But I know how to treat people with kindness, and so does Lady Hana. We both know that kindness will be some brownie points in Liam's final decision to pick who will help him rule Cordonia with grace and compassion by his side."

Olivia snorted in disgust, "That shows what little you know. Cordonia needs a stern but fair ruler, not kindness and fairytales." Kiara nodded, even though it looked like she agreed to agree.

Jessica unfolded her arms and waved a dismissive hand in Olivia's way. "Whatever, Olivia…Is this seat is taken, Lady Hana?"

"Not at all, Lady Jessica. I would be honored to have you sit with me." Hana gave Jessica a grateful smile, beaming from ear to ear.

Jessica gave a genuine smile, "I'd be happy too." She glared at Olivia and said, "Do you need something?"

Olivia huffed and stormed off with Kiara on her heels. Jessica mumbled, "God, she is such an ass."

Hana gasped softly, "Lady Jessica!"

Jessica raised a brow with a smirk and said, "As if we're all not thinking it. And please, just Jessica is fine. Especially in private."

Hana gave a slight smile. "Well…I suppose I may have thought that in more dignified terms."

Jessica tilted her head as a server laid a fine china plate and finger sandwiches on the table. She waited till he left before whispering to Hana, "Why do you let her talk to you like that, Hana?"

Hana frowned and replied, "I guess because it's true."

Jessica scoffed, "It is not true at all. I can guarantee you, Olivia, and her table wasn't even discussing past relationships or whatever; she just said it because she knows it gets to you."

Hana looked down at her swirling cup of tea as she spoke, "Because… It's a weakness."

Jessica laid her hand on hers to gain her attention, giving her a stern look. "No, Because it's all she has. Can Olivia play piano, dance ballet, cook tiny foods, or any other training you've had? Seriously, you have more talent than any of us here, and even I can see that in the short week I've been here!" Jessica took her hand away and raised her brows at Hana to listen to her. "I grew up with girls like Olivia back in New York. They feed their egos by putting down others. You're giving her too much power."

Hana gawked at that and asked in a hushed whisper, "How?"

Jessica folded a napkin as she said, "Because you allow her to talk to you like that, and she knows you won't do anything about it. You're a free power trip ego boost for her. I know you can't exactly hit her or anything, and she's the type that would win in that area. But you have to start standing up for yourself… You're sweet, Hana, but there's a fine line between sweet and pushover. You deserve better than to take that disrespect from the likes of Olivia or any other contender here."

"I just…My parents would disapprove of me being rude. I was raised to be kind and polite, smile, and accept things like that. That's just courtly life." Hana mumbled while looking at the liquid in her cup.

Jessica ended her rant with a spoon clank against her teacup as she stirred in a lump of sugar. "Yeah, well, It's your life, and you shape it. Fight back in the most Hana way possible while still being dignified." Jessica smiled at her and whispered, "For what it's worth, I'm glad I found a friend among these jerks. Cheers."

Hana smiled but thought of what Jessica said.

Years Later…

Hana sat at the table, absent-mindedly stirring her teacup as her Mother, Lorelai, spoke. The tea flavor reminded her of so many years ago, giggling with her newfound friend Jessica Garcia at a social season after Jessica defended her and gave her advice.

Something caught her attention that made her stop clanking her spoon against the delicate china as her Mother said, "And he's from a fine bloodline as well. Not Royalty like we so hoped for you years ago but an aristocratic family nonetheless."

Hana blinked while she looked up at her Mother and replied, "What?"

Her Mother rolled her eyes, "Honesty, Hana Lee, have you not been paying attention this entire conversation? You need to do better. Men like a good listener, not a girl gawking at what he says." Her Mother sighed, "He's to come at two tomorrow. I want you to wear that silk orange dress with the lotus flowers to represent his family's crest. And-"

Hana felt her grip on her spoon tighten more and more as her Mother spoke. Something in her couldn't agree. Years ago, she would have nodded and agreed but after everything…

Hana interrupted her Mother. "No."

Mrs. Lee faltered and replied, "I beg your pardon?"

"I said No, Mother," Hana mumbled. Anxiety twisted her stomach as her Mom gasped and gave her an outraged look.

"No? No to a life of security? No to making your family proud?"

"Yes...No." Hana shook her head and continued, "No! NO!" She voiced louder. Louder than what she ever had before.

Her Mother shed her, and she stood up and exclaimed, "No, Mother! I have done nothing but try to make this family proud! I have taken every class, studied every subject, rejected a normal life with normal friends all because of what you and Father want for me…Well, what about me?"

Her Mother genuinely looked taken aback, "But Hana, we are thinking of you!"

Hana sighed as people around them stared, "I understand that but are you? Are you thinking of my happiness? Or just the fact you won't have to burden yourselves with worry any longer?"

Lorelai stared at her daughter a moment before shaking her head. "What happened to my sweet Hana? Ever since you left home to join the Cordonian Social Season and started parading around with that commoner from America-"

Hana cut her Mom off, "You're right! Because that American helped me realize my opinion on my life matters more than anyone else. Even my Parents. And that American has a name, Jessica, and she was my first true friend. She showed me that I have a voice and choices with what I want. You can't even blame her now, Mother! I haven't seen her in years; this is all me. This is all your daughter."

She smoothed out her dress and lowered her voice. "I want you to cancel that suitor's arrival because regardless, I won't be here."

Lorelai gawked with a scolding tone, "Excuse me? And where pray tell are you going, Hana Lee?"

Hana sucked in a breath, straightened her posture, and said, "I have a business meeting. Instead of using our status to find a suitor, I'm using my connections to design clothing and send it out to boutiques. I'm excellent at stitch work, know the latest trends, and have a perpetual eye for color matching. I'm creating my own life. I have been on the fence for years on whether to go live my life on my terms but you setting up yet another suitor without my consent behind my back is the last straw."

Her Mother stared at her in shock with a tear in her eyes. Hana tried not to let her Mother's emotional turmoil persuade her to change her mind. She curtsied towards her Mother and said, "Love you and have a good afternoon, Mother. Tell Father the news at Dinner because my mind is made up, and I won't attend Dinner just to be lectured on what I shouldn't do with MY life."

Hana turned on her heels and walked away. The sadness and guilt she felt at being disobedient to her parents, who had their way of caring for her, outweighed the pride she felt swelling inside her chest.

She grinned as she rounded the corner and made her way to her chauffeur. She sat in the backseat and told him to take her to her home to start packing to take her already made designs to Paris tomorrow as she couldn't help grinning.

'Jessica would jump up and down with me and probably tell me I'm a…Badass or some other American nickname. She'd smile and tell me it was about time I stuck up for myself against my strict parents.' She thought with a giggle before she lost her smile.

She missed Jessica. Jessica was such a good friend to her, her only friend; now she was gone, and there was no way even to contact her. She talked to Maxwell over the phone and was on good terms with Olivia and Drake, but they were the two people she talked to the least, and Liam was too busy, and it always hurt him for days after they spoke about her.

Hana felt a pain in her chest as she realized she'd have to celebrate this small victory with herself…One thing she did know was that she needed a Cronut for this occasion.

She took out her phone and dialed the number of her pastry chef at the house. "Chef? Could you pretty please make those Cronuts I had you learn to make? There was no reason; it felt like it was an appropriate time to have one."

Months later...

Jessica walked down a crowded Soho street eating a zebra cake in search of something to wear to her 2nd official date with a private investigator; she met him while she was executing a warrant on EROS, a dating website that Jessica herself tried but found her date lackluster and too much like an off-brand Liam. She didn't know if she wanted to stab him with her salad or dinner fork; she chuckled at the thought during the date knowing two things were true. Bertrand would be proud that she could still tell the difference between forks and that her selection of a dinner fork to stab robot Liam would be most appropriate for the task.

When she was done with her wrapper, so looked for a nearby trash can when something in a store window caught her eye; it was a mannequin. She noticed the lace details and embroidery. It reminded her of something she once owned a lifetime ago, a dress that was very special to her but left behind in the apartment she shared with someone she tried to buy a carbon copy of, but no one, not even a robot, could come close to Liam. Somehow Damien Nazario caught her eye; whether it was the thrill of working together or the fact Damien seemed to help her forget the hurt of her past, Damien was slowly breaking down all the walls she had built up to stop the hurt.

Jessica entered the store and made a B line straight to the display near the mannequin. She eagerly looked at the tag, and it said "Hana Lee Designs" Jessica smiled to herself as she touched the label and found herself silently crying. She remembered the moment in Shanghai when Hana approached her and told her that she had spent all night sewing the dress by hand and explained the stitching to her that her grandmother had taught her. She remembered her memory of that dress laying on the floor deck of a boat after she and Liam made love that day; he showed her Koi fish up close, which led to her mind flooding with memory after memory of the unfinished life she left behind.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the salesgirl. "Hello Ms., I see you have your eye on that dress it's our best seller this week!" Jessica turned to her with the dress in her hand, her eyes watering, and said, "I will take it." The salesgirl smiled and said, "Sure, is there anything else I can help you with?"

Jessica thought for a second, and her phone rang. The caller ID said, "Sir" she held the phone in her hand and picked it up, and said, "Hello" the deep voice responded, "Hola Preciosa. ¿Qué estás haciendo?"  (Hey beautiful, what are you doing.)

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

OK. What would be your storm reading/watch list for anyone who wants to get to know the character? It can be anything, across all movies, TV shows, and comic book continuities. What are the things you need to see in order to get to know Ororo Monroe

Hey, my first ask! Thanks!

So, great news for Storm fans; it's kind of an open secret she's Chris Claremont's favorite character, which means there's plenty stuff out there about her. Small disclaimer; I like Storm, but she's not my favorite, and the X-men were kind of on my periphery for a long time, so I can't say I've seen everything she's been in, or paid much special attention to her in the stuff I did see.

First off, you can just read Chris Claremont's OG Uncanny X-men run. Storm joins the team in Giant Sized X-men #1 (1975) and, I'm pretty sure, remains a member the whole way through until Claremont's steps off in 1991. Even when she's not an active team member, such as in the current stretch I'm reading through, she's still a featured character. Claremont freaking loves Storm, he gives her all the attention she could possibly need to be a layered, complex and entertaining character.

If you're looking for the full Storm experience but don't want to read almost 20 years worth of comics, watch the 90s X-men: The Animated Series. 90s X-men is a perfect adaptation of the comics, and when I say "perfect adaptation" I don't mean necessarily the best X-men stories, its schlocky as hell and looks cheap (affectionate). I mean they stay as true to the source material as possible in terms of tone, the storylines they adapt, the art style they use, etc. With the caveat that, since the cartoon was produced in the 90s, the 90s team roster is featured even when adapting older stories (yes Gambit and Jubilee, no Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler or Colossus!). Storm is present though, and while she may not be given quite as much emotional depth (because schlocky kids cartoon), her personality is still very much Storm.

The other two X-men cartoons are X-Men: Evolution and Wolverine and the X-Men. Evolution's Storm is close enough to her comics counterpart, but she's not the focus and doesn't get a ton of screen time. I don't remember Wolverine and the X-Men's Storm at all, which isn't a good sign (to be fair I focused exclusively on Liam O'Brian's Nightcrawler 😳). I don't think she showed up for long and from what the internet is saying, the writer's couldn't figure out what to do with her because she was too powerful for their storylines, so they kept finding ways to get her out of the picture.

I've only seen one live action Storm but I doubt either is a good adaptation of the 616 character. No shade to Halle Barry as a person but her performance as Storm is wooden as fuck. To be fair, she doesn't get a chance to do much except look cool, do superpower things and spout exposition dialogue. And I know the reboot Storm has some big changes made to her (plus, she's only important in Apocalypse, in Dark Phoenix she's sort of set dressing).

Haven't read any modern comics with Storm in them, can't give my opinions on them. DON'T READ ULTIMATE X-MEN. NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE DEPICTION OF STORM IS SUPER BAD BUT BECAUSE ULTIMATE MARVEL JUST SUCKS IN GENERAL. EXCEPT MILES MORALES HE CHILL.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

After reading your opinion on Molly Weasley, i want to know: What are you're opinions on the Weasley family? Besides Ron & Molly that is.

Five characters? In one post? Well, alright, here we go.

The Weasleys as a Whole

I’ve mentioned this before but JKR writes the Weasleys to clearly be a believable but ideal family. They’re all fiercely loyal, progressive per wizarding world standards, love each other and Harry deeply, and have this wonderful off-kilter joyous house where there’s always some rambunctious thing going on. 

Harry comes to associate the Weasleys with family and, personally, I believe a large part of him marrying Ginny boils down to it will make him a Weasley for real. 

That said, they’ve got some major issues. They’re very righteous people who, as a whole, will ice you out the moment they even suspect you do something that disagrees with them. You don’t even have to do it, what you did or didn’t do doesn’t even have to be something terrible or something bad, but god help you if the family decides they’re done with you. 

They’re very resentful of people like the Malfoys. This isn’t just because Lucius is a smarmy, pompous, ass (he is) or that he indirectly almost murdered Ginny but seems to mostly be because Lucius has so much money. All of their interactions seem to boil down to the money. More than this though, the Weasleys seem fully supportive of laws that... well, used against themselves would be a travesty but used against the likes of the Malfoys it’s about damn time.

They’re unquestioningly loyal to Dumbledore. Granted, most people we see in canon are, Dumbledore’s very very very good at convincing people he’s a saint. However, these guys are practically his cult member to the point where they do things like refuse to have Harry over the summer, even before Voldemort returned, because Dumbledore told them not to. 

They also never really adopt Harry into the family. Oh they give him a nice sweater, he comes over every once in a while to the house, he’s very good friends with Ron but he’s mostly treated just like that, a good friend. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, except the way JKR sets it up we’re supposed to believe this is the family Harry found. It’s just that the family Harry’s found let’s him stay in a house with bars on his window where twelve-year-old Ron tells them, “Harry’s muggle family is really really awful” in a way that should have been raising red flags. Hermione practically lives at the Weasleys, Harry never does.

Now, are the Weasleys evil? No, far from it, they’re ordinary people who act in ways I’d expect ordinary people too. Technically they didn’t have to do anything more for Harry than they did, they didn’t have to hate Lucius Malfoy for better reasons, and they don’t have to be even slightly less worshipful of Dumbledore. They’re people, and they’re fine characters, but the overwhelming worship and love of the Weasleys we see across fandom does get on my nerves.

But you asked for individuals, so here we go.

 Arthur Weasley

Arthur is the epitome of “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in the worst of ways and is, frankly, a giant awful joke to me. He’s the white kid you see going around with dread locks, a beanie the color of the Jamaican flag, smoking weed, and attempting to speak like Bob Marley 

Only, because he does it with muggle things, we’re supposed to find him funny and progressive.

Arthur is absolutely, albeit unwittingly, condescending in his love of muggle knickknacks. He has no idea how any of it actually works, not limited to how muggles could possible survive without the gold standard, but ardently believes he does because he can enchant the car to fly. Seriously, that he believes he’s an expert on muggle culture, as a pureblood wizard who heads an office in the ministry on it, is the worst part. His love of toasters comes across as, “Wow, look how cool it is that these poor little muggles made all this neat stuff. We should absolutely love the muggles because of it!” And that he heads an office in the ministry called “The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts” which is all about catching down Jackass style pranksters who think it would be hilarious of they enchanted toasters to bludgeon muggles to death...

Goddammit Arthur, why do you exist?

Right, otherwise, he’s got some pride issues going on. Part of the reason Percy is excommunicated is not so much that Percy doesn’t believe Harry, but because Percy dared to do better than Arthur in his own career. Arthur is stuck in his position as head of a joke of a department, he is an underling at its finest, and frankly likely only has that position because he’s a pureblood and the idea of putting a halfblood or even muggleborn at the head of a department dealing with muggles just made the higher ups shudder. (Don’t tell Arthur that though, he likes to think he’s not benefitting from nepotism). 

Arthur goes so far to accuse Percy as Fudge’s secretary as spying on him. Arthur, the guy who heads “Misuse of Muggle Artifacts”. Yeah, Arthur, I’m sure Fudge is really wasting his time using his straight laced secretary to find out all your dirty secrets. 

He also tends to see the world as very black and white. When Skeeter in book 4 writes an article after the Quidditch World Cup disaster complaining about the ministry’s lax security in enabling domestic terrorists to enter (something completely valid and true by the way) Arthur is so personally offended that both he and Percy go straight to the ministry to complain about Rita Skeeter and her daring to assume freedom of speech! HOW DARE SHE CALL THE MINISTRY’S NON-EXISTENT SECURITY AT THE WORLD CUP LAX! (To be fair, she also cited Arthur as having been in attendance at the event, a ministry employee, and having done nothing but, well, this is also true Arthur. You’re in a guerilla, underground, resistance movement. If I didn’t already think the Order was a joke this would kind of highlight it for me).

He’s also very resentful of Lucius Malfoy, and it seems to mostly be about the money. Arthur and Molly have a severe spending problem and actively resent that Lucius is swimming in money. That Arthur is ardently pleased about a law being passed in which the ministry without warrant can ransack Lucius Malfoy’s home... 

Well, Arthur, imagine the slippery slope if the government decides that it would like to search the Weasley home without warrant? In fact, he doesn’t even have to imagine it, as the beloved government in a few short years turns against him and then it’s all about how corrupt the ministry is. 

Arthur’s delightfully narrowminded, basically, and reminds us at nearly every opportunity.

Percy Weasley

Mostly, I just feel bad for Percy. Percy’s the son/brother that nobody likes and he’s painfully aware of that fact. He doesn’t fit in with the others, he has far too much ambition for the Gryffindor family and they resent him for it, and then he dares to say things like “I don’t know guys, Voldemort resurrecting from the dead after decades doesn’t sound plausible, we know Harry’s a little off kilter, and Dumbledore’s one shady dude”. Percy happens to be wrong about Voldemort resurrecting (and admits as much when the evidence is plainly visible), but he’s pretty on the money with the rest of it.

Regardless, growing up we see Ron constantly hating on Percy along with the rest of the siblings. I’m sure Percy is obnoxious, and certainly full of himself after making prefect and head boy, but he’s very clearly even before Order of the Phoenix the Least Favorite Brother (TM).

Then the Weasley family completely ices him out for a) getting a very high ranking position very quickly as Fudge’s secretary and b) not being gung ho about Dumbledore saying crazy things in the paper. Remember that to Percy Harry is Ron’s weird friend who seems to get into highly illegal activities every other week. From Percy’s point of view, it’s probably a matter of time before Harry becomes a crack head in Knockturn Alley (or given how behind the times wizards tend to be, an opium den). 

He’s constantly getting Ron into not only trouble but life threatening situations, is erratic and apparently a parseltongue of all things, and now Harry’s flipped his lid and saying that Voldemort has been resurrected after having gone through a very traumatic experience of watching a classmate somehow die. 

While we see Percy kind of (sort of)  make up with the family it’s clear that for Percy to have any relation with these people he’s the one who will always, ALWAYS, have to come crawling back on his knees and begging for forgiveness. It’s the Weasley way or the highway and I imagine, at some point probably a little after/during that epilogue, Percy will just slowly drift away because it’s just not worth it anymore.

Percy’s very much the black sheep of the family.

Fred and George Weasley

You all are going to kill me, but I actually don’t care in the slightest about Fred and George Weasley. This is because they basically have no personality aside from “funny”. 

They just have their weird, tandem, twin act and are either playing jokes on the school or else serving as Deus ex Machina in giving Harry magical items such as the Marauder’s Map for no apparent reason. The plot told them it was time, I guess. 

Their jokes, while not as bad as Sirius and James’ “Let’s sexually harrass Severus Snape by pantsing and beating him at the edge of Hogwarts lake” or Sirius’ “Let’s get Snape eaten by a werewolf!” are still often needlessly cruel and... kind of pointless. They harass Slytherin house constantly just because they happen to be Slytherins, they’re acceptable victims (which of course makes house tension that much worse). Harry gets sent a toilet seat in the hospital because... that’s funny? Har de har? 

They’re so indistinguishable from one another I routinely see people mistake which one got his ear chopped off and which one died. Because the point is, that we can’t tell the difference! It doesn’t matter who lived and who died because all we know is that Freorge is dead! 

Similarly, you see tons of fics around where character of the day ends up in this weird twincestuous relationship with Fred and George and it’s not only for a) that delightful twincest but b) because they’re such a singular unit that any attempt to pair one with somebody else feels weird. So you just get these porn fics about Fred and George being weird rapey teenagers who seem like they’d be more interested dating each other. 

Charlie Weasley

I really have no thoughts on Charlie. He raises dragons in Romania, the family loves him. Now, dragon raising feels like one of the most dangerous jobs in the Harry Potter universe, like Charlie had just gone and signed up to be a lumberjack but he seems to like it?

We really don’t see much of Charlie, he’s just the obligatory older Weasley son so that the Weasleys can be this ridiculously large family.

Bill Weasley

We see slightly more of Bill, but again, not enough to really leave an impression. We know that his marrying Fleur sent Molly into a complete state, and that they’re going to have awkward Christmas dinners forever because of it where Fleur just sits there and pretends not to loathe every second of Molly’s presence while Molly notes how bad it is that Victoire got stuck with that ugly pink hair instead of the Weasley red. 

Bill doesn’t seem to really do anything about this. He still marries Fleur, but we don’t really see a major confrontation where he tells the family “Look, I’m marrying her, so grow up.” So, I imagine he just tries to smile pleasantly and tells Fleur to just endure it for another few hours. He loves his family, his family’s great, but they only have to see Fleur once a year at Christmas.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is weird. She’s this weird, frankly, almost personality-less void whose sole obsession in life seems to be marrying Harry. She and Harry end up in the world’s weirdest relationship and I honestly have no idea how people ship it other than canon told them to.

Ginny’s... well, first off, she’s very much in love with an idea. She had always worshipped Harry Potter but then he personally saves her life in what was a horrifically traumatic year and so that feeling just grows even more. Despite being Ron’s sister, she barely seems to know Harry, and everything she seems to like about it are just things she made up.

I imagine her and Harry’s marriage will be littered with affairs on her end. Not divorce though, because Harry would never admit his wife is having affairs on him all the time even if someone directly confronted him. Harry also won’t admit he’s gay. 

More than though we get hints of a personality. Ginny’s a fiery red-head tomboy with a temper. But... Well, it’s only ever hints. She never felt like a real person to me. She has I think one throwaway line about the Chamber of Secrets incident and how it personally affected her. We’re told she’s great at the bat boogey hex so we know she’s a fiery independent woman.

She feels more like a character sheet than an actual person. 

Whenever she’s around I always had this nagging question in my head where I ask why Ginny’s here. She has a lot of potential but nothing’s ever done with her. And when something is, it’s to get her into this bizarre relationship with Harry where he imagines there’s a green rage monster in his chest that loves her skin.

Okay Harry, if you say so. 

TL;DR: The Weasleys aren’t evil or anything, I’m not on Team Bash Them All, but they are shortsighted, ordinary, people who don’t deserve to be worshipped as all that is good in this world.

[cloverthirteen]

Was Ace Attorney made as a satire on Japan’s legal system? -- An analysis

I wouldn’t really call myself an Ace Attorney fan--I’ve never played any of the games, the closest I’ve come being watching other people’s let’s plays. I do like reading about the series on wikis and interacting with fan content for it, though, so I do know a fair amount about it.

One thing I see being said pretty often by fans is that the series was intended as a satire/parody of the Japanese legal system, which is why the courts are ridiculously biased towards the prosecution, prosecutors often care more about perfect win records more than putting actual guilty people behind bars, etc. If you’re familiar with this, you’ve probably heard of Japan’s 99% conviction rate. This interpretation of the games and the way they work definitely makes sense.

But after hearing this many times I eventually noticed something. There isn’t a single actual source (creator statement, interview, etc.) that backs up this claim. Every time I see someone online say “the series creator made Ace Attorney to parody Japan’s actual legal system” there is never a link to an interview or anything that proves their statement correct. If someone has an actual, verified source from Shu Takumi or someone else who had significant involvement with the series, please prove me wrong and show it to me. But according to all of the creator’s statement’s I’ve read, there’s no evidence of the series being an intentional parody.

So, what do we know about the creation of the Ace Attorney series? Well, it was created by Shu Takumi, who wrote and directed the first three games. After working on the dinosaur survival horror game Dino Crisis for Capcom, he was given the opportunity to make any kind of game he wanted. He really wanted to make mystery and adventure games, and from that came Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.

MC: Before developing Ace Attorney you worked on Dino Crisis. How does one go from dinosaur survival horror to virtual courtrooms?

ST: Dino Crisis was the brainchild of my then boss, Resident Evil creator, Shinji Mikami. Working on his projects taught me not only how to make games, but also how to think about them. After Dino Crisis 2 wrapped, Mr Mikami gave me six months in which to create any kind of game I wanted.

I was still pretty wet behind the ears, but as I'd originally joined Capcom with a desire to create mystery and adventure games, this was a huge chance for me to make my mark as a creator. In the end it took a team of seven 10 months to produce the first GBA Ace Attorney title. Having the freedom to create exactly the kind of game I wanted was amazing and it was a real pleasure to work on that project.

MC: Can you remember when the idea of Ace Attorney first came to you? How did your bosses respond to the idea of a lawyer-based adventure game when you first described it to them?

ST: It was in 2000 when Mr Mikami said I could make my own game and my original idea was a fairly typical adventure with a detective as the main character. Most mystery adventures have the player choose from a number of different dialogue options for their character in order to progress the story, but I wanted a new gameplay style that enabled players to deduce for themselves what was happening, rather than just selecting canned responses. I developed this into the concept of facing off against the suspect in a crime and exposing the contradictions in their statements.

I was sure my new idea would be a fun and original take on the genre, so I started to revise the main character, since a detective would be too traditional for such an original concept. I asked myself, "What kind of professional would face off against a suspect and expose their contradictory statements?" The answer, of course, was a lawyer and so the Ace Attorney concept was born.

(source, from an interview on the making of the series)

Takumi’s original concept for the game involved Phoenix as not a defense lawyer, but as a detective. The gameplay was to consist of “facing off against the suspect of a crime and finding the contradictions in their statements.” However, Takumi eventually realized that taking apart contradictions wasn’t really a detective’s job, and decided to change the protagonist to a lawyer and the setting to a courtroom instead. And thus, the game’s concept was finalized.

Janet: As you know, “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy” is coming out world-wide this winter, and as I was brainstorming what to write about for this week’s blog, I remembered your tweets from 2010.

Takumi: Tweets from 2010?

Janet: …Well, it was a long time ago…

Takumi: ???

Janet: I-It’s OK if you don’t remember…

Takumi: …Oh, THOSE! Yes!

Janet: I remember reading them and being shocked by how different the original draft of the game’s story was – how Phoenix wasn’t even a lawyer, but a private eye!

Takumi: Yes, AA was originally supposed to be a detective game, so naturally, Phoenix was to be a private eye. But then, one day, I made a startling realization: the gameplay concept I was going for was for players to enjoy finding and taking contradictions apart, but that was hardly related to investigating or detective work at all. In that moment, I had it – I realized that the main setting for the game should be the courtroom.

Janet: That’s quite the jump, but you know, I can’t imagine this series being anything else at this point. 

(source, from an interview by Janet Hsu about the game’s early development)

During the development for the game, Takumi actually knew very little about the intricacies of the legal system--and in fact, he’s been very transparent about that fact in interviews. There’s even a story he talks about in a blog post where he was asked “shouldn’t we do some research on law before we make this game?” and agonized over it for a bit before deciding that being accurate about courtroom processes wasn’t important--what was important was that the game made the trials exciting and fun.

November, 2000. The characters were coming together, and I was working desperately on my first scenario (the current Turnabout Sisters). One day, I was asked about the one thing I didn’t want to be asked about.

“Mr. Takumi. Don’t we need to do some research on law?”

The knowledge I have about the law, pretty amounts to the one fact that in Japan we have the Roppō Zensho ('Complete Book of The Six Major Legal Codes').

“Don’t bother with that. This is a detective game. “

It should have been over with this one line, but…

“But this isn’t a detective game, it’s a lawyer game!”

“If it’s not going to be realistic, I don’t see why this should be about trials.”

“People who play this might get wrong knowledge from the game!”

“We might get sued by the Bar Association!”

“They’ll start complaining!”

…Gyakuten Saiban (Ace Attorney GBA) is simply a “mystery game.”　“Being realistic” is not what is important. What’s important is emphasizing, and recreating the unique “atmosphere” and “tension” of the courtroom. That is why the judge uses a gavel, even though no judge uses that, and why Naruhodō shouts "Objection!" even though nobody does that either.　This game does not need a “realistic courtroom”!

Chasing the true murderer down to the end, and then getting applauded for that in the courtroom. That feeling of thrill and excitement. It was only by February of the following year when we finally manage to recreate that in the game. The couple of months after this had happened, we looked around, got lost and troubled our minds in search for the answer of the big question of “How do we make a trial into a game?”.  Fall was passing by, and the cold winter was close upon us.

(source, from an archived blog post by Takumi)

So, realism and knowledge of law wasn’t important to Takumi during the development of the series. But there’s also the fact that Takumi has actually personally denied that the Ace Attorney series was an intentional satire or criticism of the court system at any point. In fact, according to a blog post (done as if Phoenix and Maya were reading the column and commenting on it), he actually dislikes people seeing his work this way, as he never intended the games to have any big political statements.

A major prerequisite for Gyakuten Saiban is it’s so simple “even my mother could play it”.  So there is only one point at the core of the game: “Seeing through lies”.

Naruhodō: It wasn’t even supposed to be a game about the trials at first. Mayoi: Eh! Really?! Naruhodō: “Simple” is basically all this game is about, according to TakuShū. Mayoi: What do you mean? Naruhodō: He didn’t want to add all kinds of elements for the player to think about, like alibis, tricks or about the culprit. It’d just confuse them. Mayoi: Really. Naruhodō: Basically, you can proceed in the game if you just think about where the contradiction is. He figured that with that, the controls of the game could also stay simple. Mayoi: But, but, why the trials then? Naruhodō: “A story about a detective seeing through lies” wouldn’t be any different from the other games out there. So that’s why he decided to have someone whose job is seeing through lies as the protagonist. Mayoi: So a defense attorney. Naruhodō: Occasionally  TakuShū sees magazines introducing the game as “a work that dared to take on the theme of trials”, and that actually hurts him. Mayoi: He never meant to be something as big as that…. 

(source, from the mentioned blog post)

Ultimately I see how easy it is, if you know a good amount about both Ace Attorney and Japan’s legal system, to come to the conclusion that the games were made as a dig against the latter. However, somewhere along the line, people apparently stopped seeing this as merely a theory and instead as a definite fact. Now, that doesn’t mean that the theory is entirely unfounded--given that Takumi focused only on making trials interesting and fun in the games, you could say that the games work as an light, comedic parody, not meant to make any political statements. And hey, maybe there’s something I missed--maybe there were other people working on the series who did have significant knowledge of law and wrote some parts of the games as intentional satire of the system. Again, if anyone has evidence of this, don’t hesitate to provide it. But with what I know, I don’t think going “well actually” to people who point out the ridiculousness and unfairness of Ace Attorney’s court system is necessary. It’s simply that way to make the games more fun.

[urupotter]

Snape deliberately  provoked Harry to better read his mind

While rereading Order of the Phoenix, I put particular focus on the chapter Occlumency, where the mechanics of Legilimency and Occlumency are first described. I found one quote by Snape particularly interesting.

 “I told you to empty yourself of emotion”

“Yeah? Well I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and who allow themselves to be provoked this easily -weak people, in other words- they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease Potter!”

Now, a lot of people have pointed out how Snape is really talking about himself in that quote. And I agree. But that’s not what I want to focus on. Rather, I would point out how Snape is describing the people whose minds can be easily penetrated. Of particular interest are an inability to control ones emotions and being easy to provoke. I believe that Snape, knowing this, has at times deliberately exploited this to be able to read Harry more easily.

This is very clear, I think, in Goblet of Fire, in chapter 27 Padfoot Returns. Snape suspects Harry of having stolen Boomslang skin and Gillyweed from his stores. So he interrogates Harry to find out the truth. 

“All this press attention seems to have inflated your already over large head Potter,” said Snape quietly, once the rest of the class had settled down again.

Harry didn’t answer. He knew that Snape was trying to provoke him. He had done this before (emphasis mine). (…) “You might be laboring under the delusion that the entire wizarding world is impressed with you,” Snape went on, so quietly that no one else could hear (Harry continued to pound his scarab beetles, even though he had already reduced them to a very fine powder), “but I don’t care how many times your picture appears in the papers. To me Potter, you are nothing, but a nasty little boy who considers rules to be beneath him.” 

Harry tipped the powdered beetles into his cauldron and started cutting up his ginger roots. His hands were shaking slightly out of anger, but he kept his eyes down, as though he couldn’t hear what Snape was saying to him.  

“So I give you fair warning Potter,” Snape continued in a softer and more dangerous tone, “pint-sized celebrity or not -if I catch you breaking into my office one more time-”

“I haven’t been anywhere near your office!” said Harry angrily, forgetting his feigned deafness.

“Don’t lie to me,”  Snape hissed, his fathomless black eyes boring into Harry’s. “Boomslang skin, Gillyweed. Both come from my private stores and I know who stole them.” 

I highlighted the first segment to show how Snape’s attempts at provocation are deliberate, and not just his standard assholery (according to Harry at least, but I trust him in this). The second and third segments show how Snape has succeeded in provoking Harry, so that he is now in an emotional state, and his mind is easier to penetrate. Finally, Snape attempts to read his mind, which is shown by the final emphasized segment. Eye contact has been established as being important for Legilimency, and though the most skilled (like Voldemort), can make do without, it tends to be necessary and always helps. 

Snape is not the only character to covertly use Legilimency in the books of course, and it’s always fun to go back and notice these little details.    

[bookishable]

some harry potter opinions

speaking as a ravenclaw, slytherin is my favourite house because they have some of the most human qualities of the four, as well as the best aesthetic

dumbledore is not a bad person

all his backstory is so interesting and i really like the way his character develops across the series as harry/the reader grows to see him differently. but people in the fandom will reduce him to a terrible old man without bothering to think about the complexities of his character

sirius black is slightly overrated

goblet of fire is the worst film and adaptation in the series

malfoy and hermione aren’t compatible even if you disregard how badly he treated her

prisoner of azkaban is overrated. the film is very well made but badly adapted

deamus > wolfstar

luna lovegood is the best female character

dumbledore and percy weasley should have been in slytherin

books ranked from best to worst: deathly hallows, half blood prince, goblet of fire, philosopher’s stone, order of the phoenix, chamber of secrets, prisoner of azkaban. this opinion may change

philosopher’s stone is the most underrated film and i personally think it’s one of the best in the series. it’s also the one i have almost no problems with

kindness isn’t one of the main traits of hufflepuff because it’s a practice, not a personality trait. anyone can choose to be kind. better positive hufflepuff qualities are patience, fairness, loyalty and friendship

a lot of people over criticise elements of the narrative to the point where it’s less about critical thinking and more a case of finding things to be annoyed about. i personally am not affected by a lot of the issues raised so i can’t speak on those, but i do think people should stop holding a book series written in the 90s to the standards of society and literature in 2021

ron weasley is my favourite character so i always love seeing posts defending him/criticising the way the films portrayed him. however, a lot of people are prone to forgetting his mistakes in order to build him up; to me the reason he’s such a wonderful character is because of his flaws so more people should remember them

it’s very in character for harry to name his child after snape, even if i don’t like it that much

i find it a lot more convincing for dumbledore to see his family alive and happy in the mirror of erised, rather than grindelwald. i think it fits in so much better with what he says in the cave in half blood prince

harry wouldn’t have been happy as a hogwarts professor. he needs to be where the action is, and he’s not an academic

luna and charlie are asexual and i do not take criticism

as a stickler for canon, it’s rare for me to find headcanons that i like because a lot of the time they seem to be very over the top ways to add diversity (which is valid because there isn’t much, i get that people want to add their own ideas). to me the best headcanons are the ones that support other areas of the narrative and sit comfortably within the story, as well as things that could have been true but didn’t need mentioning e.g. the headcanon that harry has adhd fits in with a lot of his behaviour and hobbies, but it’s also something that didn’t need to be explicitly written

i don’t care that dumbledore didn’t say it calmly

the weasleys all being in gryffindor is one of the main reasons the sorting system is flawed. although it makes sense narratively (they all have similar values and would probably choose to be in gryffindor) it would have been way cooler for them all to be in different houses

i personally think arthur and bill would be in ravenclaw, molly in hufflepuff, percy and the twins in slytherin, and charlie, ginny and ron in gryffindor. another concept™ would be fred and george in different houses because imagine the shit that would go down

shipping hermione and malfoy is basically the same as shipping her with crabbe or goyle but because they weren’t played by conventionally attractive actors those ships aren’t popular

also what is the obsession with shipping hermione with every single character

the best house pairing is slytherin and hufflepuff

the golden trio belong in gryffindor because they use the traits they have from the other houses in order to be brave (harry has a strong survival instinct, ron’s loyalty helps him defend others, and hermione uses her intelligence to find solutions to dangerous situations they find themselves in)

luna embodies ravenclaw house more than any other character

voldemort’s death in the film was actually quite cool but i still do not forgive them for undermining the entire point of his character by not having him die like a regular man

the golden trio all chose to be in gryffindor

i’m glad the deleted scene of draco malfoy throwing harry his wand wasn’t included. i think it’s out of character because malfoy wasn’t heroic

snape loved lily, but he did so selfishly because he only cared about being with her and not about the lives of the people she loved

i like remus and tonks together

hagrid is underrated

harry and hermione’s dance scene is nice but it would have been better placed in literally any other part of any of the films. i don’t think it has to be read with romantic undertones, however the fact that at the same time in the book both harry and hermione were feeling too depressed to even bother cheering each other up was a really important way of showing how ron was the glue that brought the trio together. also they cut out ron and hermione’s dance scene and still had time to do this

one of the most underrated quotes is “we’re all human, aren’t we? every human life is worth the same, and worth saving” as said by the elite sir kingsley shacklebolt sir

in comparison to the rest of deathly hallows the epilogue wasn’t very well written, but it was the right ending the book needed

lupin was a better professor than mcgonagall

draco malfoy actually did have a choice, even if it was a difficult one

[saintsenara]

i'm on an Alastor Moody kick and have been once again reminded that he'd be extremely shippable (the tortured past! the snark! the magic eye that can see through your clothes!) if fandom was at all fair. so! some moody love for the deranged ships game, even if some of these aren't particularly deranged. Moody/Tonks, Moody/Bellatrix, Moody/McGonagall, Moody/Crouch Sr., Moody/Lupin, and Moody/Lucius.

(bonus round: what's your fave Moody ship? i was genuinely on board with Moody/Tonks the first time i read the books to the point that remadora blindsided me badly)

thank you very much for the ask, anon! which had some overlap with a second batch of ships for the man, the myth, the legend alastor moody:

so let's get into it!

alastor moody/nymphadora tonks

i am afraid i can never get into this as a pairing because tonks and moody have the exact vibe of my two cats, one of whom is big and tired and the other of whom is small, cheeky, and desperate for his approval. he just wants to sleep in the laundry basket without her coming to sit on his head! moody, in much the same vein, just wants to be constantly vigilant without her giving out about it being cold in the sky or pestering him with questions about who it is he knows that blasted their own arse cheeks off with an improperly-stored wand.

i accept that this may, for many other people, be the exact appeal.

bellatrix lestrange/alastor moody

while in disguise as moody, barty crouch jr. heavily implied that the two of them had a torrid little affair in the late seventies. this was a lie - bellatrix either wants a man with a nose or a man without one, not someone faffing about on the fence with half.

minerva mcgonagall/alastor moody

i fully back this one, on account of the fact that celts need to stick together.

and - of course - that moody [even if he wasn't really moody at the time...] needed disciplining for his behaviour after transfiguring draco malfoy into a ferret.

barty crouch sr./alastor moody

an absolutely huge potential for shenanigans here.

we know - for example - that moody is raging about crouch agreeing a plea deal for igor karkaroff, and i also can't imagine that crouch had much time for moody's more paranoid traits… not least because they had the potential to uncover what he'd done with his son.

all of which is to say… there's a hot premise lurking here, either for enemies-to-lovers or the equally exciting enemies-to-enemies-who-fuck.

remus lupin/alastor moody

i back this entirely. it's clear on several occasions in order of the phoenix that moody has appointed lupin as his right-hand man, and that he trusts and respects any information lupin provides for him.

[lupin also insists on accompanying bill to look for moody's body in deathly hallows.]

which means we have to speak frankly... lupin was clearly having a bit of fun on the job in his year living at grimmauld place. and it wasn't with tonks or sirius...

lucius malfoy/alastor moody

Malfoy, whose pale eyes were still watering with pain and humiliation, looked malevolently up at Moody and muttered something in which the words "my father" were distinguishable.   "Oh yeah?" said Moody quietly, limping forward a few steps, the dull clunk of his wooden leg echoing around the hall. "Well, I know your father of old, boy... You tell him Moody’s keeping a close eye on his son... you tell him that from me."

canon.

alastor moody/lord voldemort

which had its own request, from a lovely anon.

i genuinely really back this one, because - much like pairing voldemort with barty crouch sr. - it offers so much potential for political shenanigans.

moody was obviously hugely important during the first war - not only to the order, but within the ministry-coordinated response to the death eaters - and so i think that we can assume that he had numerous opportunities to meet voldemort for a bit of… back room negotiation.

after all, what are we told in canon? that moody never killed voldemort's forces if he could help it. why? because forcing your situationship to come arrange the release of hostages is a god-tier way of getting round his refusal to text you back.

[i also think there's something really interesting which could be done with the fact that moody's body is altered so profoundly by the course of the first war. just like voldemort's.]

when it comes to these two as each other's teenage sweethearts, i will... also back it.

i agree that moody and voldemort are probably roughly the same age - and i'm also quite invested in the idea of moody, given how paranoid and off-putting he is, being in slytherin. while there's a clear discrepancy in both the looks [there's no suggestion moody's much of an oil painting even with his original face] and the social status [moody doesn't strike me as somebody who'd be willing to pretend to enjoy the slug club, for example, whereas voldemort has a much greater tolerance for the act] departments, i have a great fondness for the teenage voldemort simply being annoyed by someone into a life-long relationship.

they could wile away the hours yapping about foe glasses and coming up with increasingly unhinged conspiracy theories about dumbledore.

pure romance.

barty crouch jr./alastor moody

flopping.

barty had a go - obviously - because teaching a full course load after you've been under the imperius curse for a decade must be mind-bogglingly stressful, but moody wasn't having it.

barty retreated to his room with his series of long-lens paparazzi pics of seventies-era voldemort on holiday.

alastor moody/horace slughorn

slughorn tried to woo moody once, but he became convinced that the bouquet of roses slughorn turned up on his doorstep brandishing was cursed and punched him in the face.

[startanewdream]

Summer Heat

Summary: James is late and summer heat always brings out Lily’s emotions.

Part of my Jily Lives AU, set during Order of the Phoenix and based on @secretsongdeer​‘s amazing prompt of “James or Lily is late from an Order mission, and the other is worried sick".

It turned out into this crazy emotional roller-coaster of Angst and Smut.

Rated M, so all below the cut or on AO3. Read at your own risk (but if anyone wants a PG version, just tell me that I can post it too :D)

_______________________

James is late.

It is not like it never happened before, it is not like every Order mission has a defined duration of time and it is not like he is on a particularly dangerous mission tonight, but still fear bubbles like acid in her stomach. He is supposed to be on watch-duty with Sirius, and while she trusts Sirius to guard him with his life, she also knows Sirius can be a little hothead too and Sirius hates to stay still for too long.

Also, when they are together, Prongs and Padfoot, things tend to escape control, even for a mission that is supposed to be only guarding a door.

Or maybe she is overreacting. Many simple things could have happened. Tonks got caught in her work and could not relieve them; someone decided to stop by the Department of Mysteries and they had to wait to get out. Still, Lily knows she will never get used to that feeling of waiting for him to come home safe.

Maybe it was the years of relative peace they enjoyed that have made her feel more unacquainted with that waiting. For the last fifteen years, James had not once taken a mission for the Order. Ever since Harry was born, they both had promised to concentrate their energy in protecting their son - and all they had done that first year was hiding, moving from a place to another, until Voldemort had finally found them and -

She blinks, deciding to not let her thoughts wander in that direction - in that horrible night -, and her eyes fall on Harry. He is sitting on the kitchen table, reading a muggle newspaper, his face closed and troubled.

That is not new. All summer Harry has been distraught, demanding they talk to him and yet refusing to say anything himself. Lily can read her son easier than she can read the book she is supposed to be currently studying, and she can see a storm brewing inside Harry, but he insists on staying silent. He hasn’t said a word about that night in the graveyard with Voldemort, nor about Cedric Diggory and not even a mention of whatever dreams have been tormenting him at night.

Her husband is late and her son is suffering and she cannot help any of them right now.

Her head hurts.

Somehow this feels worse than the first time, which doesn’t make any sense. In the First War, she was too young and inexperienced and no matter what they said to each other, they were losing - Dorcas was killed by Voldemort himself, Marlene and her family had perished in a fire, they didn’t trust Remus and they trusted Peter too much, and Harry was the target of a prophecy.

Now they are better prepared. Voldemort is still hiding and they know what he is after and that gives them an advantage. As long as they can keep Voldemort away from the prophecy, they will have more time to… She doesn’t know what they will do with more time. Convince those stupid politicians that Voldemort is really back? Gather more help for the Order? Prepare better her son for -

No. This is not Harry’s obligation, no matter what a stupid prophecy says. Voldemort is still human and then he can die like any other man. Anyone can kill him; she will kill him if she gets the chance. Not her fifteen-year-old son, who is currently crumpling the newspaper as if it offends him, tearing each page with particular vengefulness and throwing it in the fireplace to watch them burn.

‘Harry…’, she begins, her voice as tired as she feels, trying to ignore the buzz in her head.

‘There is nothing here’, he complains, still tearing the pages. ‘Of course, we could actually know what’s going on if we hadn’t cancelled our subscription of the Daily Prophet’.

Lily presses the bridge of her nose to see if her headache gets better. It doesn’t help.

‘We told you the Prophet is not reporting anything because nothing is going on’.

Except for the current attack on them - the silly remarks of Harry's instability, the cruel distortion of her story with James -, but she doesn’t say that. They will have to tell Harry eventually; she just never found an opening for it, because he is always brooding and upset and Lily knows that Harry will feel guilty for causing trouble when he hears it.

As if it’s his fault for witnessing Voldemort’s return.

‘How can there be nothing to report? With you guys all mysterious?’

‘We are not - ’, when Harry rolls his eyes disdainfully, she stops to control her own rising anger. It is not Harry’s fault that she is more stressed than normal today. Where the hell is James?

'Don't pretend everything is fine, Mum. I see you looking at your watch every five seconds. I know you are worried about Dad'.

She forces herself to breathe normally, even though she knows she won't deceive him. Harry and Lily always understood each other too well.

‘It’s just normal Order business’.

‘If there is Order business happening -’

‘There is always Order stuff going on, Harry. We didn’t stay doing nothing for all these years’.

‘You could have fooled me’, he whispers loudly enough for her to hear but to also pretend she hasn't understood him.

She shouldn’t take his bait, but James is not there and how can he be so damn late? She is fearing for him and also a little mad - why couldn't he choose another mission? One that he could do safely at home? And why did she have to stay behind? Someone has to look after Harry, sure, but she is as much capable as him of doing things. Next time he can be the one staying and worrying about where is she and why the hell she is late -

‘And what do you mean by that?’, she asks before she can stop herself.

Harry turns to really face her now. He may look like a copy of James sometimes, but the raging expression in his face is just like the one on Lily’s.

Like her, Harry’s temper rises too fast and too quickly.

‘I didn’t see your amazing Order when I was facing Quirrell. Or when there was a basilisk in the castle. Or -’.

‘Harry -’

‘And a great job you all did last year’, he adds, ignoring her, his voice raising. ‘That bloody Death Eater was just under your nose -’

‘HARRY!’

Lily stands furiously and Harry blinks at her, seeming both surprised and satisfied that she screamed at him.

‘You know, this, right now, is why you are too young to be involved with the Order’.

‘Am I young?’, he asks, baffled, crossing his arms. ‘How can I be too young with all the things that happened to me?’

‘You are fifteen and you don’t get it. Do you think facing Voldemort is enough? I’ve done it four times too -’

‘And I am the one with a scar! I am the one that gets stuck with sphinxes and dragons and that has to escape him over and over again, so no, you don’t get it!’.

She closes her eyes briefly and then she can see, as if she is locked on that moment, the memory of that night, that horrible night, of Voldemort raising his wand to her little baby, of her and James alone and helpless -

No.

‘What I get’, she says, forcing herself to calm her voice, ‘is that you are fifteen and you should be worried about other stuff. School, dates, your pimples. And I am sorry that things keep happening to you and I know it’s not fair -’

‘And still, you treat me like a baby! You don’t tell me anything!’

‘You want to talk about who is withholding information? How about we talk about your nightmares?’

Harry stands suddenly, making his chair fall with a heavy sound, but he doesn’t seem to notice. His eyes are blazing with fury and for a moment Lily thinks he will scream at her.

‘I am out’, he says instead, his voice trembling with cold fury. When she opens her mouth to argue, he adds: ‘In the backyard. I know I can’t leave this bloody house’.

He makes the house sound like a prison.

‘You know perfectly well why you have to stay near’, she reminds him, ignoring his bad language. Harry shrugs, indifferent.

‘Yeah, that amazing blood protection’, he scoffs. ‘Helped a lot last month’.

‘You are alive, aren’t you?’

‘But Cedric isn’t’, he says and more than the anger she can hear his sorrow.

Her annoyance suddenly vanishes, and she takes a step in his direction, but Harry turns his back to her and leaves her alone in the kitchen.

Great. Just all she needed. A grieving teenager son and a missing husband.

She points her wand around the kitchen, thinking of making tea for herself - and Harry when he returns from his walk around the garden. She knows her son. He will still be angry, but much less inclined to fighting again. He will accept her tea.

She glances outside the window, fanning herself with her hand. It’s early night already, but the heat did not wave. It's the hottest summer she can remember, which isn't probably helping any of them. Summer heat always brings out your emotions, her mother used to say.

And once more she feels that bitterness of worry for where James is and why he didn't warn her that he would be two hours late - he could have been drinking with Sirius right now as much as he could have fallen into a trap for all she knows and -

The thought makes her feel strangely cold and Lily shivers before she notices it's not only her mind playing tricks with her. Something is off. She can see her own breath condensing in the air. It’s eerily quiet around her and she can’t hear any sound coming from the street, nor the sound of the teakettle whistling - in fact, even though she is three feet away from the stove, she can’t feel the warmth of the fire at all. It is like there is an ice storm coming, inside the house, and she thinks she will never feel happiness again -

The realization comes to her suddenly and it helps shake her senses. Lily raises, gripping her wand in her trembling hand and she concentrates on one thought. Find Harry.

She leaves the kitchen, following Harry’s steps, going almost blindly to the edges of their propriety, close to the small woods that James uses to transform with Remus on full moon nights. It is dark outside as if the lights from the lamp streets cannot reach their house and the sky has lost all the stars. The despair threatens to overwhelm her and she takes deep heavy breaths, looking around - she can’t see them, she can’t see Harry, but she knows they are close… They shouldn’t be here, not here, not with their blood protection…

Except she knows Voldemort was able to touch Harry, so maybe it isn’t as strong as before… maybe Harry is helpless, and she will have to watch her son die before her eyes once more - no, she can’t think about it…

‘Mum!’

Harry’s voice breaks through her reverie and she turns towards the sound. Harry is running, coming from behind the old broom shed, his face pale and sweating. Two dementors are gliding behind him, and for a moment Lily thinks of silly horror movies, of how no matter how much the victim runs, the killer always catches it -

Harry screams for her again and Lily raises her wand, the spell ready in her lips, her mind focusing on protecting him. But Harry is still looking fearfully at her, his eyes opened in panic and it takes her a full second to understand he is not really staring at her.

But at something behind her.

The cold gets stronger than before and it is like a block of ice has dropped directly over her, almost making her heart stop beating altogether. It is not fear - it is the certainty she will never feel happiness again, that this is all useless. All she ever did was delay this moment because nothing could ever stop it - did she really think she could save herself? Or Harry?

The dementor is almost gentle as it grabs her, opening her arms and approaching her face. It does not seem to be in a hurry, and she doesn’t see the dementor’s face, because she thinks of Voldemort during that night. He wasn’t in a hurry either.

She can hear her own voice, how she pleaded and pleaded that not Harry, not ever Harry, they would do anything, her and James, because they loved Harry too much. And Voldemort had laughed, cruelly and happily, and told them to stand aside. But James and Lily had stood, their hands together, protecting their son as if their body shield would be enough - Voldemort had then blasted them out of the way like they were nothing and then he had marched to her son, his wand raised just like the dementor’s hand in her direction - and she had watched helpless, unable to stop, as he cast the Killing Curse on her son - and the world had exploded in a bright green fire and she had thought - she had believed - they all were dead… and Harry who was barely one-year-old, who had died alone because she couldn’t protect him…

But he didn’t die, a small part of her thinks, Harry is alive, your love saved him. And she tries to concentrate on this small hope, even though this time James is not there with her -

‘ Expecto - expecto patronum!’

There is a small wisp of vapour, a light that seems to flicker for less than a second, but her doe does not come out of her wand. This last effort used all her strength, however, so Lily drops her wand and the dementor is upon her now, his horrible mouth close enough to kiss her, taking away her hope and her soul -

‘EXPECTO PATRONUM!’

There is a flash of light and Lily is suddenly falling in the ground, the dementor dropping her. She raises her eyes to see, through her blurred vision, antlers hitting the dementor that was holding her - it’s a stag, she realizes, so James has finally come home…

But it’s not James. It’s Harry and for all they look alike, she never once mistook one from another.

Harry is at her side, his arms around her while he points his own wand to direct his patronus to the other dementors. His face is contorted with fury and fear and his arms are trembling, but Harry makes his patronus draw away all dementors, until his stag patronus comes back to them, circling them as if on guard.

‘They - they are gone’, Harry whispers and Lily knows he is right. The stars are shining in the sky again, there is a sound of life around them and the heat is back. She is sweating, but she doesn’t think it’s because of the summer heat anymore.

‘Thank you’, she says weakly, and when her eyes can focus on something, she finds herself staring at the bright eyes of the stag patronus he had never seen him cast before. Her hand raises, but the patronus dissipates in thin air before she can touch it. ‘He was beautiful’.

‘It is Prongs’, Harry says, his voice still very low. ‘Can - can you walk?’

She nods and accepts his help to stand up; he is almost at her height now. She had not noticed it before.

‘Let’s go back’.

--------------------------------------

Lily hates Grimmauld Place.

It is the darkest house she ever entered and she feels that the house hates her too as if every long-dead Black is watching over her when she is there, judging her, calling her a mudblood and how dare she enter their sacred house. All the pureblood air threatens to overwhelm her, crush her like a bug and she curses the place.

But for all she is unwelcomed there, she hates it more because of Sirius.

She knows Sirius hates that house that was never a home for him and she admires him for offering Grimmauld Place as a safe hour to host the Order of the Phoenix; she knows the place holds no good memories for him and she hears his bitterness whenever he mentions his parents. And Sirius is miserable all the time he is there; he loathes everything, from the house-elf he never wanted to inherit to his mother’s portrait that they didn’t manage to take down.

And an unhappy Sirius is never a good thing. She notices how he always drinks more when they are there in one of their meetings - something Snape always mentions - and how reckless he gets after staying there for more than five minutes as if he is still that teenager who once needed to prove himself so different from his family.

When she mentions it to James, he looks worriedly at Sirius, but tells her that everything is fine - but Lily knows it is not fine, because Voldemort is back and Harry is suffering in silence and everything they fought for in the last fourteen years is crumbling. And she fears that James wants to be a little reckless too. They went hiding for a year before the First War ended and she knows him - he hated standing still, feeling like he wasn’t doing enough, and he is afraid to have to lie low again.

And James always enjoyed taking risks too much - he would never do anything that could harm Lily and Harry, of course, but then things are different now. Harry is older and not a helpless baby and Lily agreed to watch over him, concentrating on more internal missions, all because he assured her he would not be in danger -

All these thoughts come back to her but Lily doesn’t say anything. She feels strangely detached, doing things automatically, without really thinking about it. Some part of her registers when she and Harry arrive in the house, when he offers her a piece of chocolate that she can’t make herself eat despite knowing it will help, and when she hears their laughter.

Sirius’s bark laughter and James’ the-world-is-a-good-place-come-laugh-with-me laughter.

The sound causes a wave of anger through her body and that almost wakes her, but the numbness is still too high.

She watches them entering the kitchen and their smiles dying when they see her and Harry, in the exact moment they register something is wrong. Harry is explaining what happened and James is at her side, his face pale - and she wants to cry, where were you?, but she still keeps silent.

She almost jumps when an owl flies through the open window - owls aren’t allowed, they’ve cut communication -, but it is only an official owl from the Ministry. It shouldn’t be bad - except the Ministry of Magic has declared war against the Potters lately, so it is not surprising when the letter talks about Harry being expelled from Hogwarts.

Harry looks heartbroken and somehow more afraid than when he was running from dementors, so that sparks some life in Lily. She raises, ignoring James’ hand extended towards her - she can’t deal with him, not now - and she puts her hand on Harry’s shoulder.

‘We need to go to a safer place’, she says, her voice rough. It’s the first thing she has said in the last fifteen minutes, even though she knew they had to move ever since she saw the dementors.

‘Grimmauld Place’, Sirius suggests and for once Lily doesn’t grimace at the mention of that house. She will go anywhere if it means Harry will be safe and that was the only place she thought of.

‘But - Hogwarts - I can’t be -’

‘Dumbledore will solve this, Harry’, James promises, and Lily sees his patronus already galloping and vanishing in the darkness outside. It’s a stag, as always, but this vision fills her with more violence than comfort and she ignores him once more when he tries to take her hand.

‘Go pack your things, quickly’, Lily tells Harry, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before letting him go.

‘Lily -’, she hears James calling her but Lily doesn’t turn around. Sirius looks from James to her and then back again.

‘I will go help Harry’, he says, hurrying after his godson and leaving them alone.

There is a moment of silence. Lily flinches when James touches her arm, and he doesn’t insist.

‘Lily?’, he asks again, his voice very soft.

‘Where were you?’, Lily whispers, still avoiding looking in his direction. ‘You were supposed to be back more than two hours ago’.

‘I -’, he hesitates and Lily knows he is considering lying to her in that one second it takes for him to keep talking. ‘It was a very good lead, Lily, I swear -’

‘Lead’, she repeats, without any emotion in her voice.

‘It was the best one we had in months - the sewers -’

‘The sewers? You left me alone to go on a chase for Wormtail?’

She doesn’t need to see his face to know she got it right. She can hear the heaviness in his sighing, the one that only thinking of his former friend causes him.

And she doesn’t need to ask him how the search was. James has been looking for Peter for more than one year now and he never got close to finding him.

He is a rat, she wants to say. You will never find him .

‘I will go take our things’, she says instead.

‘Lily - I am really -’

‘Not now, James’, she cuts him and she leaves the kitchen because she can’t stand to look at him.

It may not be fair, but so it wasn’t leaving her alone.

-------------------------------

Dumbledore promises he will fix things, but the fact is that Harry has a disciplinary hearing and she can see real fear in her son’s eyes.

And not just that. The anger too. She hears him screaming at Ron and Hermione, obviously unhappy with the fact that he was alone all summer while they were together, no matter in a dismayed place like Grimmauld Place. Harry is feeling betrayed.

Right now, he isn’t the only one feeling like that.

Lily survives through the Order meeting barely registering what everyone is saying. She doesn’t participate in James and Sirius’ heated discussion of how the hell three dementors managed to pass their barriers to attack her and Harry, she doesn’t even acknowledge that Snape is for once glancing in her direction. They end the meeting rescheduling their patrol rounds and for the first time she submits her name, her voice daring anyone - James - to disagree with her participation; but even though she can feel James’ eyes looking intensely at her, he doesn’t say anything.

That’s for the best. She doesn’t want to hex him in front of everyone.

When the meeting is over, Sirius, obviously thinking he is being very nice, takes them upstairs to offer her and James the master bedroom. It’s a nice old room, even if a little dusty and dark, and she realizes that Sirius was late for the Order meeting because he had been fixing the room for them in whatever way he could.

A part of her thinks it was kind of him, especially because he must hate that room that belonged to his parents. Lily glances around, her eyes falling on the elegant canopy bed, but all she feels is loathe, if only by the fact that Walburga and Orion Black once slept there; she never met them and she barely heard the stories, but she saw how much they messed with Sirius to know she would hate them. The feeling would be mutual - they would despise her for her blood.

When she turns around, James is alone with her in the room, in front of the closed door. His expression is concerned.

‘Here. Eat this’, he says, offering her a chocolate bar. She ignores it. ‘You need chocolate for dementors, Lily, you know Remus -’

‘This is your fault’.

She hears her words but somehow it takes a second for her to realize she said them.

It’s irrational, she knows, because James wasn’t the one that sent those dementors she should be able to handle, nor he is the one that threatened to expel Harry from Hogwarts, and for one mad moment, she thinks he will argue with her. But James just blinks, his shoulders slumped and he nods.

‘I know’.

‘No’, Lily whispers, taking a step closer to him, her eyes ablaze. ‘You don’t get to self-hatred’.

James blinks.

'You don't want me to agree with you?' he asks, and Lily can hear the faint amusement in his voice, the one that always looks like an invitation for grinning with him.

Any other day she would accept it, but now there is only one emotion strong enough to break into her numbness: fury, senseless and overwhelming fury.

'You don't get to find this funny, James. You don't get anything, because you left us'.

He frowns and she sees a flash of hurt in his eyes. Good, Lily thinks darkly.

'I would never leave you -'

'You weren't there. There were three dementors and an underage kid but no James Potter'.

'So I was supposed to foresee it?'

'We all knew something was bound to happen. That's why we keep our eyes on Harry, isn't it?'

'It is not like he was alone - you were there with him!'

'Yeah, I was', she admits, defeated. 'And I was useless because there were dementors and you know what I hear when they are around? That fucking Halloween night, every time'.

'That is what I hear too'.

'And all I could think was that at least that night you were with me. We were losing and dying but at least you were there'.

'Lily… I was on a mission -'

'Oh, spare me, James. The Order comes first, we always agreed on this. But your mission had ended and instead of doing the right thing that was coming back to your family you decided to play the hero'.

He gasps.

'What? I wasn't -'

'No, you're right. It was not playing the hero - that’s Harry. You were on your crazy suicide revenge mission’.

'It is not - it was a good lead, Lily, I wouldn't go if -'

'Did you find him? Did you see Peter? Even a hint of him?'

He doesn't say anything, but she knows the answer in his resentful face.

'Your problem is that you forget everything when it involves him'.

'He betrayed us', James spats, venom in his voice. 'Then he bleed Harry one month ago and he held him and he would watch him die without saying anything. He. Betrayed. Us'.

'Yeah, but that's not what bothers you. It’s your bloody ego. It’s the fact that he betrayed you'.

James' eyes are burning now.

'Yes, it was me firstly', he concedes, agony and hatred in his voice. 'But he would give us all up because he never cared'.

'Taking him down won't change that'.

'And what do you want me to do?', James finally screams and she feels a dark satisfaction in making him lose control. 'Let him go?'

'I want you to care more about us than for your selfish need for revenge!'

'I already care!'

'Then prove it!'

She is screaming too and maybe even crying because her vision is blurred once more, but still, she registers that at some point they got closer than ever, their noses almost touching. She can smell his musky scent and she can feel his heavy breath over her face. James is angry, but so is she and Lily won't stand down, won't forget that while he couldn't stop what happened, he should be there, he should be with her.

He promised they would always be together - and his absence hurts and she is afraid and she hates him for leaving her. She only wants them to be safe. How can they be at war again? Why can’t they have some peace?

She hates him right now, but she hates more all the danger they are in and even then all that hate pales in comparison to how much she loves him.

'Fuck, James', she sighs.

'Fuck, Lily', he agrees, and then their lips are crashing and it's desperate and painful how she clings to him.

Her numbness is all gone, replaced by a familiar urge of James - of his lips, of his touch, of knowing he is with her. It’s been a long time since she felt this fear, this adrenaline rush after a battle or a near-death experience, but she knows how it goes.

His hands cup her face, his thumbs drying the tears that are falling there without Lily even realizing, and she feels locked in his arms - it’s a good feeling. James is home, James is safety and love. She wants more of him, all of James. She needs him.

And he seems to be thinking the same about her. His hands fall to her arse, to hold her up and press her against the door of the room, her legs going automatically around his waist for better support, their lips never leaving each other. She grips the hair at the back of his head, as if holding a lifesaver she can’t let go or else she drowns.

They are not teenagers and they are not in that mad sex phase of a new relationship, so Lily knows they should stop and recover their senses. But this was Orion and Walburga Black's room, she thinks incoherently, and they would never accept someone like her there - that was the prejudice that started a war that messed with their lives. And suddenly Lily knows what she needs to do.

Her hands are shaking as much as before, though for completely different reasons, as she fumbles with his clothes, opening his shirt so she can feel his heartbeat and the muscles in his torso. James is always so warm , much hotter than any summer heat.

His lips move away from hers and before she can complain, James is kissing her neck - or sucking it, she doesn’t know. Where his lips touch her skin she can feel goosebumps erupting and it is so fresh that she moans, even as he, always aware of her, keeps bending down his head until he is kissing the top of her breasts, any piece of skin her cleavage exposes.

She attends his silent request. Her hands leave his chest to take off her own shirt and bra, and as soon as she holds his neck, his mouth is covering her nipple and Lily arches her back as much as she can against the door. It’s cool , she thinks irrationally, feeling his tongue teasing her and feeling the wood of the door behind her naked torso. Good. It was too hot .

But she still needs more.

‘James’, she moans, and he stops to look at her. His hazel eyes are dark and for as much as she loves their natural colour, she loves so much when they are almost brown, filled with lust for her. She knows it’s a match for her own desire. ‘Kiss me’, she asks, and his lips find hers once more.

They are closer now, so it’s easy to slide her hands through his chest, following the path of his hair there, until she is opening his belt and his jeans and she is feeling him, sliding her hand through his length. He moans into their kiss and his hands let her down for just the seconds it takes for him to touch under her skirt and take away her panties.

‘I need you, Lily’, he whispers and it is so much a pleading as a demand; she is willing to accept both.

She nods and he raises her again, both hands now under her skirt, one holding her tight and another grabbing her arse, his fingers pressing her skin and she hopes it leaves a mark for tomorrow. She has been hurt and bruised in battles before, and because of that she loves seeing the soft purple of the places James grabbed her rough, lost in their moment together; these are the marks she is proud of.

His lips are once again on her neck, sucking the skin there (good, another mark), his body pressing her against the door and she can feel his hardness against her pelvis and her pulse beating down there.

‘James - please’.

He was never able to refuse her anything, not really, so James complies at once, his hand leaving her thigh just so he can help himself slide inside her - and it’s a familiar feeling that she can never get really used to, that of him filling her. She moans loudly and uncaringly, her hips trying to move for more friction and God bless James, he attends her wishes once more, moving in sync with her.

They are not young anymore and she knows they will probably regret this tomorrow, but right now she just tightens the grip of her legs around him, inviting him to go deeper and he groans, his head buried in her neck. It is a sound that reverberates into her, and Lily opens her eyes suddenly, her eyes falling on the master bed. It’s still a beautiful canopy bed, one that speaks of luxury and expensive fabrics, and she thinks briefly of how she hates that house, hates the people who lived there.

Toujours pur.

‘James’, she calls him, and he stops moving at once to look at her, breathing heavily. ‘The bed’.

If James finds her request weird, he doesn’t say. He takes her to the bed, laying her down gently, before standing to take off his pants. She moves to take off her skirt too, but he stops her, laying over her, his hand caressing her face to keep her hair out.

‘Keep it’, he asks, and then his lips are finding hers and she loses herself happily in the taste of his mouth. His hand bounds hers above her head, and all Lily can do is arch her back as he enters her again, his movement much more desperate than before and all she can do is meet each one of his thrusts.

She wants to giggle of pure joy, but James is still kissing her and as much amused as she is, she needs that kiss more. But still, a part of her sends a big silent fuck-off for Sirius’ parents in whatever hell they are, because there is a blood traitor and a mudblood fucking in their bed and somehow this makes everything better.

‘Lily’, he groans and Lily hears the warning and request in his voice. She frees her hands, but before she can do anything, James lowers his hand to touch her, on the soft wet spot right above where their bodies meet, and she lets out a moan that is lost in their kiss.

She knows he is losing control now, his thrusts erratic and needy, and that’s fine because she feels the same. More, she thinks, feeling the pressure building inside her, and like if he is reading her mind, James obliges instantly, his finger circling her faster, in sync with the movement of his body. More, James, she thinks one more time, and then she is over the edge, her world exploding in a blinding light that sometimes looks a lot like what happened in that Halloween night, but so different - it is colourful (not just green) and powerful and its ache is welcomed and her heart is beating so fast and so alive.

God, she loves James so much.

Almost like in a dream, she feels James pushing inside her one final time and then his body is shaking, his mouth leaving hers so he can cry her name like a prayer. After what seems years and seconds at the same time, his grip over her looses and she raises her shaking hands to cup his face until he opens his eyes.

His hazel eyes are still burning, but his voice is tender when he whispers: ‘I love you’.

She kisses him softly in response.

James rolls to lay by her side and, in a movement she has made thousands of times before, Lily lays her head over his chest, hearing his heart still beating too fast, while her hand plays with his chest hair.

‘I am sorry for not coming home sooner’, he whispers after a while, his hand caressing her hair absently. ‘You are right, it was selfish - everything. I just… I feel so guilty, Lily, it is my fault only -’

She knows he is not talking about the dementor attack.

‘I trusted him too, James. We all did’.

‘But I - I was the one that was his friend first, I was the one that thought I knew him for all those years - I would have died for him -’

‘You are not wrong for trusting people’, she assures him, finding his hand to grip it tightly. ‘Your faith - that is one of the most amazing things about you. He is the one at fault for not living up to your trust’.

‘I just think, somehow, that if I catch him… I can make everything all right, like if that night never happened, like -’

‘James’, she calls him softly, turning so she can look him in the face. ‘We can’t change the past. Let us live today’.

This makes a sparkling shine in his eyes.

‘I say we are definitely living’, he notes, looking around for all the mess of clothes on the floor, and she lets out an amused laughter that only James can cause. He touches her face, looking at her with undeniable tenderness and love. ‘I will be there next time’.

It is a promise and she believes him.

‘Already waiting for the next dementor attack?’, she asks playfully, and he kisses her on the forehead before they get up.

‘Harry is a magnet for trouble’, he sighs, just half-teasingly, as he picks up his wand to clean them up.

Still, she laughs softly, because sometimes laughing at their own misfortune is all they can do.

‘A little bit dusty here, no?’, James says, looking around.

‘Guess we will have chores to keep Harry busy for a while’.

‘I think he will prefer the dementors’, he jokes, smirking.

Their hands are clasped together when they descend the stairs, following the sound of people talking in the kitchen. Sirius is waiting for them, his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised, and he closes the kitchen door to muffle the sound.

‘How old are you?’, he asks grumpily.

‘Same age as you, Padfoot’, James answers easily.

‘And do you have a wand?’

That makes James blink, clearly missing the point.

‘Yeah, you know -’

‘Then why did you forget a basic Silencing Charm?’, asks Sirius, in a hissed whisper. ‘Do you know what I had to endure to go upstairs and cast it just so you wouldn’t further traumatize your son?’

Fifteen years ago Lily would blush at this, but now she just stares at Sirius with pure amusement.

‘That’s what godfathers are for, Padfoot’, she says nicely, raising on her tiptoes to press a kiss in his cheek, while James laughs at her side.

‘Do I even want to know what you were doing with that mouth, Evans?’, Sirius asks, looking at her with an expression torn between disapproval and respect.

‘Probably not’, she chuckles. ‘And it’s been “Potter” for a while now’.

‘Come on’, James says, coming between them because he knows they can lose themselves in their silly banters. ‘I am starving’.

‘Wonder why’, scoffs Sirius, but Lily can see a grin on his lips. Sirius always feels bad when she and James are fighting. ‘Hope you broke the bed at least’.

‘It is a work in progress’, Lily promises, winking at him, and they enter the kitchen.

[nah-she-didnt]

A Home Cooked Meal

Now on AO3!! 

--------

Lily was in trouble.

She’d tried everything. She’d used muggle pregnancy tests, downed a magical pregnancy detector potion, and even read books about how a normal, healthy, not-pregnant nineteen year old could miss her period for two months in a row. But it was no good. Lily was nineteen, a full-time soldier in the Order of the Phoenix, and pregnant.

She had so far avoided telling her sweet, sensitive, nineteen year old boyfriend about her pregnancy. After all, life was hard enough these days without having a baby dropped in your lap. Lily reckoned it would be kinder to refrain from telling James about the baby for the next seven months, then one day give him the surprise of a lifetime. Yes, Lily thought, seven precious months of sanity before ruining his life was a foolproof plan.

Lily tried desperately to shove all thoughts of her pregnancy aside as she tried to focus on the present moment. She, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat in the living room of another Order member, sipping tea and snacking on biscuits. However, at that precise moment, Lily felt so nauseated that she wondered if it was possible to die from pregnancy hormones. 

Lily was quite sure that Arthur Weasley had been bulled into inviting the five of them over by his wife, Molly, after the last Order meeting when Sirius mentioned that the they had all been too busy with missions to cook for themselves for the last few months. As soon as Molly heard that the teenagers had been subsisting on nothing more than takeaway and cheese on toast she insisted that they all join her and Arthur for a home cooked meal.

Mrs. Weasley bustled around them now, offering them more tea and insisting that they call her “Molly.” She was an outgoing woman with a kind, round face and more energy than Lily had ever had in her life. How else could she take care of five little boys and another on the way?

“Now, I’m going to pop back into the kitchen and finish dinner. Arthur should be home from guard duty any moment now, so you all just relax and enjoy yourselves!” Mrs. Weasley beamed at them all, then slipped from the room.

Lily sat back in her seat on the couch and looked around, trying not to think about how sick she felt. The house was warm and inviting, but chaotic. Children’s toys littered the ground, and Lily was certain that the Weasleys had at least twelve small red-haired children running about the house. She had not remembered any of their names, but they all seemed to be full of reckless energy and looked exactly the same. This is my future, Lily thought to herself dejectedly as she watched one of the older boys, Will or Hermes or whatever his name was, sprint around the living room on a toy racing broom, cackling wildly.

Sirius seemed completely at ease with the children. He lay flat on his back with his arms sticking straight up in the air, holding one of the smaller boys under the armpits. The boy shrieked with delight as Sirius swung him from left to right and narrated a fictitious quidditch match in an affected announcer’s voice.

“And that’s Langley with the quaffle, Langley flies left, dodges Ghulam, rolls to miss a bludger from Bagman, feints right, shoots, LANGLEY SCOOOOOORES!”    

When Langley scored, Sirius swooped the child in a full circle above his own head, finally pausing when the boy was completely upside down and giggling madly. James watched Sirius with polite interest, though he clearly felt awkward around the small Weasley children.

“Blimey, Sirius, it’s too bad you played beater instead of commentating at school. I might have been able to find a beater who could actually fly.”

“You’re just jealous that you can’t chase as well as Langley does in my reenactment,” said Sirius with an easy smile, setting the child back on the ground. The boy clapped his hands together and screamed “Again! Again!”

Sirius obliged, grabbing the child this time by his ankles and swinging him through the air.

“Are you alright Lily?” Peter asked nervously, “you’re looking a little green.” 

“What? Oh, yes, fine,” said Lily distractedly. She purposefully avoided James’ gaze. 

Finally, the child called Fred seemed to tire of the quidditch match, and toddled off to play with his brother “Geowge.” Sirius lounged against the parlor table and popped a piece of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum into his mouth. 

“Blimey, I didn’t realize we were in the presence of Mary-bloody-Poppins over her.” 

“Don’t be grumpy because I’m good with kids and you aren’t!” Sirius exclaimed before blowing a large bubble that burst with a soft pop!

“Who says I’m bad with kids? Kids love me!” cried James, whipping around to look at Lily, Remus, and Peter for support. They all pointedly averted their eyes. 

Pop!

“Remus! What about that time I visited your house in Wales and there was that little muggle boy who lost his mum in the market? I was good with him! He got back to her safe and sound.” James pleaded.

“Yes... but you did ask him he’d kidnapped stolen by hinkypunks.”

James threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Oh come on! In Benny And The Hinkypunk the little boy gets kidnapped by hinkypunks, but he’s alright in the end! My mum told me that story all the time when I was a kid and I loved it. I was trying to cheer him up!”

“Yes, James, but he was a muggle,” said Remus patiently, “so all he knew was that a strange man was asking him if he’d been kidnapped!”

“Alright. Fair enough. But kids love me. Kids love me, don’t they Lily?”

Lily nearly spat her tea into her lap. “Pardon?”

“You think kids love me, right? I’m fun! I play quidditch! I own nearly every Zonko’s product!”

“Oh, right, yes James, I’m sure kids would...would love you.” Lily looked away quickly, trying to hide the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. Yes, she thought, James’ children would probably love him dearly. He’d be an incredible father, the perfect combination of jokester and role model. On the other hand, she couldn’t picture herself as a mother no matter how hard she tried. 

Pop!

“Sirius, if you don’t stop blowing bubbles, I’m going to murder you,” Peter moaned. 

“Can’t, shan’t.” Pop!   

Lily stood up suddenly. “I’m going to see if Mrs. Weasley needs any help in the kitchen.” 

“Oi, Pete, you go too,” said Sirius lazily from his spot on the floor, “make us look good.” 

“Stop blowing that stupid gum and go yourself!” Peter replied, chucking a small pillow from the couch at Sirius’ head.

Pop!

Lily walked away from the sounds of Sirius and Peter bickering and towards the kitchen. She knew she had never been in a house like this before. Every square inch was accounted for. Even the slats in the ceiling and the ledge over the doorways were built for extra storage. With five children, Lily thought, they  must need all the storage they could manage. 

Lily often thought that as a muggle born she could tell when a place felt overwhelmingly magical in a way that her friends who grew up around magic could not. The house seemed to positively radiate with warmth, comfort and magic. It must be a wonderful place to have a childhood.

Lily paused awkwardly in the doorway to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley had her back to Lily as she stirred a pot of something that smelled delightful on the stove. Lily, not wanting to scare Mrs. Weasley, coughed quietly to make her presence known. 

Molly looked around and smiled warmly at Lily.“Oh, hello dear, do you all need anything before dinner?”

“Uh, no thank you, Mrs. Weasley,” Lily said as cheerfully as she could muster. She tried hard not to regard Mrs. Weasley’s significant bump underneath her apron. Lily didn’t know much about pregnancy, but she knew that Mrs. Weasley must be far along indeed. 

“Are you sure? I could make you a cup of ginger tea if you like.” Mrs. Weasley’s tone was casual, but Lily could just barely make out a knowing look in her eyes. 

“Yes, that sounds lovely, thank you,” Lily said nervously. Mrs. Weasley couldn’t possibly know, could she? Perhaps women who’d been pregnant before, especially women on their sixth pregnancy at least, had some sort of special pregnancy powers. No, that was silly, she was just being paranoid. 

“Here you are, dear,” Mrs. Weasley said as she placed a piping hot cup of tea in front of Lily, “I added in a slice of lemon. I always say, a lemon is just the trick for when you’re...not feeling your best.” 

Lily’s heart sunk. “How did you know?” she asked desperately, feeling close to tears.

“Know what?” Mrs. Weasley asked innocently, “I’m sure I don’t know--”

“You do. You know, and soon everyone will know because I won’t be able to hide it.” Lily sunk into one of the kitchen chairs and put her face in her hands. 

Mrs. Weasley was silent for a moment, then said “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I simply guessed, that’s all, and I never meant to let you know that I had. You’re glowing, my dear, but you still look miserable. I’ve only felt that way a few times in my life, and they all resulted in the boys that fill this house.”

Lily nodded, sniffing loudly. “I’m trying to hard to keep it together, but I just can’t hide. I feel awful all the time, and I know most of it is morning sickness but there’s also this huge weight in my heart and I can’t do anything to--to fix it.”

Mrs. Weasley nodded sympathetically. “I know just how you feel. I just saw you looking so miserable in there, and I remember how awful I felt every time I was in my first few weeks. A cup of ginger tea with lemon always soothed my stomach, so I thought it would help, but I see I’ve only made things worse.” 

Lily sighed into her hands, then dropped them to look at Mrs. Weasley. “You haven’t. Actually,” she said, realizing for the first time that it was true, “I’m relieved someone else knows. I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell anyone else.” 

Mrs. Weasley covered Lily’s hand with her own and stroked it with her thumb. “It’s going to be alright. Whatever happens, you’ll see, it’s going to be alright.” 

“It’s not,” whispered Lily, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m a muggleborn. James and I swore we’d fight this war until it was finished. I can’t bring a baby into this mess? The baby of a mudblood and a blood traitor! How could I do that to an innocent child?” She was really sobbing now, and gratefully accepted the handkerchief that Mrs. Weasley produced from her apron pocket. 

“Now, you listen to me,” said Mrs. Weasley soothingly, but with authority, “you are the only one in the world who knows what’s best for you. You’ll be able to make the right decision, and if you raise a baby in this mess that baby will be the luckiest child in the world because it will have you for a mother.” 

Lily gave a forced chuckle. “It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I’ve just doomed this baby, James, and myself all in one go.” She looked up into Mrs. Weasley’s concerned face. “But thank you for saying that. It’s nice to know that someone with so much mothering experience doesn’t think I’ll muck it all up.” 

Mrs. Weasley smiled at her. “Never, dear. You’ll be wonderful. Plus, I’ll be here to help,” she laid a hand across her round stomach, “you won’t be the only one dealing with the hormones and mood swings, will you?” 

Lily smiled. She was starting to feel a bit better. After all, Mrs. Weasley didn’t think she was a terrible person. She didn’t think that Lily had doomed James to a life of misery. Her heart sank again. James.

“I can’t tell him,” Lily said, shaking her head, “I can’t tell him. We’re so young. We haven’t even talked about marriage. How am I going to tell him that he’s going to be a dad?” 

“Surely you could tell him, couldn’t you?” Asked Mrs. Weasley kindly, “That boy is simply mad about you, everyone can see it. He’d follow you to the ends of the earth.” 

Lily laughed at this. It was true, James had told her as much himself. And she would do the same for him. 

“He’d be a wonderful dad. He’s just so young still, so...”

“Immature?” Mrs. Weasley said cheekily.

“Well, he’s more mature than most, but he’s nineteen years old! This should be the time that he has fun, not gets saddled with a baby.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, dear, but no one is able to have much fun these days,” Mrs. Weasley smiled sadly, “it’s times like these that people realize the most important things in life. Love. Family. A purpose beyond yourself.” 

That was true. It’s not as if a baby would interrupt James’ wild youth. This war had forced them all to grow up too quickly. James and Lily spent nearly all their time these days on the order, fighting for something bigger than themselves. James had already willingly taken on that responsibility, perhaps he would be ready to take on another. 

“I really think you should tell him, Lily. Give him the chance to react, then decide what you’re going to do together. Who knows, he might surprise you by being more mature than you think--”

At that moment, there was a loud howl from the next room like a wounded animal. Remus came bolting into the kitchen, then, upon seeing the two women sitting and talking, stopped suddenly. He tried to arrange his face into a calm expression then asked, “um, pardon me, Mrs.--uh--Molly, would you by chance know how to get--uh--chewing gum out of someone’s hair?”

Suddenly James came hurdling into the kitchen too, supporting a limp and partially-blind Sirius with him. Sirius had been rendered partially-blind by the infamous piece of chewing gum that was currently stretched across his face, held in front of his eyes by the bits of wavy hair that framed his face.

“MOLLY!” he screamed, clutching at the air in front of him in panic, “HELP ME! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!” 

“There was, um, an incident in the living room,” James snickered. He was clearly trying, and failing miserably, to keep his shoulders from shaking with laughter at his best friend’s misfortune. “Peter here--”

“I told him to stop blowing those stupid bubbles!” Peter cried indignantly. “I told him! I don’t regret it in the slightest.” 

“Because of you engorging my bubble my hair is ruined!” Sirius tried to swipe for Peter with his outstretched arm, but caught Remus by mistake. “Ouch!” “Ooh, sorry Remus, love! I was trying to catch a rat.” 

“Boys, boys!” Mrs. Weasley shouted, getting to her feet. “I have five children, I am perfectly capable of removing chewing gum from hair without any lasting damage.

“You promise?” sniffed Sirius, who was gently caressing his affected locks. 

“I promise. Now, everyone, stand back and go into the other room. I need room to work...” 

Lily, James, Remus, and Peter all trudged into the next room. 

“Nice one, Pete,” said James, still laughing. 

“Oh he can bugger off, the dramatic git,” said Peter, though he was smiling too, “his hair will be fine.”

“It better be. How will he react when he finds out I’m only with him for his thick, luscious locks?” laughed Remus. 

“Hey,” James said to Lily, bumping her shoulder with his, “you’re quiet. Was the great gum-hair incident of 1979 not entertaining enough for you?” 

“No, of course it was,” Lily forced herself to smile, “I’m just taking it in. It’ll be quite a shock at first, but I suppose I can get used to a bald Sirius Black. Let’s just hope his skull is a normal shape.”

“Precisely!” cried James, “ We’ll just have to let him know that we love him no matter what, right?”

“Right,” said Lily weakly. God, he would be a fantastic dad. 

A few minutes later, Sirius and Mrs. Weasley re-entered the living room, Sirius’ hair gum-free and unaffected. He shot a dirty look at Peter. 

“I’m going to get you back for that.” 

Peter shrugged. “I’m sure you will. Now, Molly, can we help at all with dinner?” 

“No, no, you all just stay here and try not to cause any more trouble. I have enough to worry about with my children running about, I don’t need four more!” 

“Four? What about Lily!” cried Sirius indignantly. 

“Oh, I think Lily has wisdom beyond all your years,” Molly said, winking at Lily. “Arthur will be back soon, then we can sit down to eat.” And with that, Mrs. Weasley disappeared again into the kitchen. 

“Wow, you two really must have bonded in there,” James said with an impressed tone. “What did you talk about?”

“Oh, you know, girly stuff, you wouldn’t be interested.”

“I beg to differ! I love girly stuff I’ll have you know.” James said with mock indignance.

“Girly magazines don’t count, dolt.” 

“Ha ha ha,” James laughed sarcastically, “just you wait, Evans. One day you’ll realize there’s much more to me than meets the eye.” 

Lily looked at James out of the corner of her eye. James, who had protected Remus and kept his secret for years. James, who had taken Sirius in when he ran away from home. James, who watched out for Peter and stopped Sirius from picking on him too much, because that’s just who he was. He would always look out for those who needed him. And she needed him now more than ever. 

“Maybe you’re right.” Lily smiled. 

Somehow, she thought that maybe this would work. 

[katherinewilliams221b]

For A Greater Good 18/18

not my gif

He Who Must Not Be Named

Summary: Kate Williams, young healer and member of the Order,  joins Durmstrang’s staff at Dumbledore’s request. Her mission? Find a     Death Eater and survive long enough to tell the story. Set in 1996.

Pairing: Charlie Weasley x ofc/mc

Masterlist

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

[Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10]

[Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14]

[Part 15] [Part 16] [Part 17]

A/N: bold lines are from the book Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix

Severus Snape emerged from the shadows to stand in front of his ally.

“I was starting to think you wouldn’t come, Severus.” The voice of Albus Dumbledore was, as expected, steady and confident. “Do you have it?”

Snape approached him, eying the room with suspicion. It was the first time he had stepped inside Dumbledore’s hiding place, but despite he trusted the man, a chill ran down his spine. Keeping a stoic expression, he reached inside his robes and handed him a rolled piece of parchment.

“She had it with her. As you said.”

Dumbledore unrolled the document and nodded slowly. Another name wrote itself with the others.

“It is vital that Cornelius sees Voldemort first. After that, I will personally make sure that this information reaches the aurors.” The bearded man walked to the end of the room; the dim light of a candle outlined Fawkes’ silhouette.

“My name appears on that list.” Snape watched Dumbledore’s hand halt in the air. He turned around and with challenging eyes, he stared at him as he unrolled the parchment again. Turning his gaze back to the paper, Dumbledore pursed his lips together as if he was going to whistle and with a light blow, the name ‘Severus Snape’ left the paper in the form of black ashes.

He looked up at the potions teacher from up his glasses. Snape nodded.

“What happened to Yankelevich?”

“She will be brought to Nurmergard” The phoenix moved so his master could slide the parchment under him. “Attempted murder, at least.”

“I don’t understand why you sent Williams. Yankelevich wasn’t an immediate threat and Alastor could have done it faster and more efficiently.”

Dumbledore turned and put his hands behind his back. “You underestimate her. She’s learnt fast, and listened to your instructions, didn’t she? You were busy training Harry to notice, of course, but her occlumency skills have improved enormously, and she’s been practising how to communicate with Mr Weasley.”

“You said she would, yes…”

“Well, she refused using her patronus to communicate, and she needed to be away from him to practise.” He opened his mouth to say something else, but he reconsider it. At Snape’s piercing stare, he kept going, “Astrid knew someone was up to no good and needed a favour, however,” he pointed at Fawkes’ nest “that was my goal.”

He walked to the nearest chair and sat down, grabbing a goblet from the table. Before sipping, he caught how Snape’s jaw tensed. “Besides, Alastor’s never run freely around a castle, breaking rules and finding places he is not supposed to enter. She has.”

“How did she know how to find it?”

“I said her skills had improved, not that they were better than mine. I might have… given her a small guidance.” He raised his hand up to his temple’s level and brushed his index and thumb together. “ I was certain that Karkarov knew about the existence of the room. It was the most logical place to hide it.”

“Where is he now?” demanded Snape.

Dumbledore looked at his partner with amused eyes, but corrected his demeanour quickly. “I have no idea. I mistakenly believed he would be in the forest. I sent a letter to Katherine in hopes she would meet him there. Turns out, he is smarter than I thought.”

“It won’t be long until He finds out Karkarov’s writing that.” Snape pointed at Fawkes’s nest, and the bird chirped unhappily.

“I know.” He tsked and took a sip from his beverage, “But it was his choice.”

“What are you going to do until then?”

“We’ll wait. That spell is not easy to perform. We’ll let him write as much as he can.” They fell silent for a long while, lost in their thoughts, until Dumbledore spoke again.

“When?”

“Tomorrow. He wants the prophecy.”

“Of course. Of course…” he stood up and crossed his hands in front of him and searched in his companion’s black eyes. Snape reached inside his sleeve and took out a small vial with a silver liquid in it. He handed it to Dumbledore, who read the tag ‘K. Williams. Durmstrang’.

“She will not remember the names.”

With one last nod, Albus Dumbledore observed how his confidant dissolved in the air.

--

Katherine Williams awoke for the second time in the same Grimmauld Place’s cold room. She let the sun rays hit her eyelids and savoured the memory of Charlie’s firm body against her own.

When she reached behind her, only cold sheets wished her a good morning.

Promise me something. Promise me you’ll wake me up to say goodbye.

She stared at the pillow next to her and sighed. To be fair, he didn’t make such a promise. He didn’t say anything at all.

Putting her disappointment aside, she prepared herself for one of the most exhausting whirlwinds one could face: the loving care of Molly Weasley.

Sitting up with her back against the headboard, she stretched her neck to the side and had to do a double take at the nightstand.

A pink flower with orange undertones sat beside a piece of paper that was folded in half. Her stomach flipped, and she considered forgiving him for leaving.

A snapdragon for the strongest of flowers.

I hope this wasn’t a one-time thing. Owl me.

“Oh, shut up!” Kate whispered, but a chuckle escaped her mouth, anyway.

Movement on the other side of the door startled her, and she hid the note under the pillow before quickly hiding herself behind the covers.

The doorknob turned, and Mrs Weasley entered the room.

“Oh, thank Godric you are alright!” Molly was by her side in four long strides and cradled Kate’s head in her hands. “How are you feeling? Charles told me you woke up last night. You look pale. Did you rest?”

“Yes, Mrs Weasley, I’m fine. My head is spinning a little, though.”

“Of course, of course, let me see that arm.”

Internally complaining, Kate let her put the cream on her arm and tend the bruises of her neck.  She didn’t have the courage to tell her that wouldn’t make the scar disappear. When she finished, Molly nodded with a satisfied smile and proceeded to pick up the clothes that were scattered on the floor. Kate held her breath during the entire the process.

“This boy... tsk... taught him better than this! At least he could have brought his clothes with him…” Kate wasn’t sure if she was oblivious or if she was giving them a green card because they weren’t at The Burrow. In any case, she felt the need to take Charlie off the hook.

“I’m sorry, that’s my fault, Charlie let me use his clothes after I showered and when I went to sleep... they were bothering me.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. She gestured her neck to point at her bruises and then remembered that maybe there were ones more recent, that she did not want to explain. Charlie had never left a mark on her, but that night he felt a tad possessive and she wasn’t sure he could be trusted.

Although Molly hadn’t commented on them while she was applying the cream, the younger witch rested her hand there, trying to appear casual. Just in case.

“Ah, don’t worry, dear.” Molly waved her free hand nonchalantly and went to pick her cloak from the floor. While putting on the robe that Charlie had left at the end of the bed, Kate remembered that she technically stole the uniform band.

“Oh, this is warm! What a nice coat!” She waved the magically warmed piece of clothing, admiring it, and something the size of a matchbox flew across the room in doing so. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I always check the pockets and now look at this!” She murmured something under her breath and went to pick up the mysterious object, but Kate interrupted her.

“I’ll get it, don’t worry.”

“Very well, then. I made you some breakfast, but it’s already cold, Charlie made me swear I would let you sleep in!” She laughed and when she was crossing the threshold, she added, “Arthur got your trunk, it’s downs… ah!”

Mr Weasley appeared from behind her with a smile on his face and his hands on her waist.

“Oh, not you too, Arthur, I have enough with your sons apparating everywhere…”

His husband ignored her with a laugh and entered the room, her trunk following him in the air.

“Special delivery!” He roared.

“Thank you so much, Mr Weasley.” He approached Kate, and after hugging her shoulders with an arm, he kissed the top of her head. “You scared us the other day, eh?” He squeezed her. “But, let’s thank Godric you are safe and sound! I must go to work now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“I’m fine, really. We healers recover quickly. Tonks filled me in, and I’m feeling alright.”

“Alright, then. I’ll let you change.” Molly placed a hand on her own cheek for a moment and left the room without another word.

The moment Mrs Weasley closed the door behind her, Kate spooned around and crawled down the wooden desk to retrieve the small object.

Placing it on her palm, she murmured ‘engorgio’, making the tiny leather journal grow to its original size.

Letters, maps, notes, names, drawings, and a full research on how to magically cross plant species were contained in that notebook. The past six months were portrayed in those pieces of paper, and their value was incalculable.

Looking up, she faced one of the obscure paintings that belonged to the Black family. Kate stared at a woman standing on a bridge in what appeared to be a forest, and a question formed in her mind. She needed to go to St. Mungo’s.

 Convincing Molly that she could go alone to the hospital was harder than the mission she just came from. After a diluted Invigoration Draught and some help from Lupin, she managed to step out of Grimmauld Place.

She didn’t feel ready to apparate, and she doubted she would ever be, so she enjoyed her walk through the streets of the city. With the muggle money that Lupin gave her, she jumped on the first underground station she saw and followed his directions.

She got comfortable on an empty seat and observed the people on the train car. When she saw a couple getting handsy in a corner, a wave of sadness washed over her, and had to look away.

She missed Charlie terribly. The night before was too desperate and rushed, she didn’t have time to savour the moment. She didn’t even ask him about his mission with the giants, about his dragons, or about how he felt all that time alone at home. Being on a mission kept her head occupied for most of the time, but now, with nothing to do, she anticipated some time of loneliness.

She brought her hand to her chest, and her heart ached even more when she couldn’t find the necklace that Charlie had gifted her many years before. No. Stop it. You’ll get answers and study your notes and then... and then you will have to explain to Dumbledore you lost an important document that could have saved lives. Brilliant.

Soft clapping noises brought her back to reality. A woman in front of her was struggling to hold an excited baby on her lap. Kate observed the child and smiled when his little finger touched her mother’s nose. The baby turned his head and stared at Kate for a while before raising his arm to wave at her. She chuckled and returned the greeting, her trip improving slightly and temporarily.

 Walking through St Mungo’s doors had a mixed effect of nostalgia and excitement. She had spent many hours in that hospital studying, training, and learning, and all of a sudden, she was fresh out of Hogwarts again, with all the emotions that implied. Taking a deep breath, she walked through the corridor and started searching for her first mentor and boss, Madame Louise.

She scanned the faces of the healers that were working, rapidly treating the patients like frantic ants recollecting their food.

“Williams?” Kate turned at the deep voice calling her and recognised the robust middle-aged woman in front of her. “What brings you here? I thought you were working in Romania?”

“Hello, Madame Louise, yes, well I was… working there. But I’m here as a patient today.”

Madame Louise frowned and looked at Kate up and down before giving a curt nod.

“Wait on that bed.” She said before turning and walking away.

Kate sat as directed and stared at the beautiful glass stained windows of the place.

“I request you let me go right now! This is nonsense.” She could recognise that firm voice anywhere. To her right Professor McGonagall was lying on one of the beds and arguing with a boy that Kate figured he was wishing he hadn’t been born.

She walked towards them and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I’ll take it from here, thank you.”

“Who are you? You are not a healer; Madame Louise will hear about this.”

“Mister, this young woman knows more than you, do us all a favour and go with your mother.” Intervened McGonagall.

“I heard Jared O’Leary was looking for you.” The boy shifted in his place and nodded nervously before leaving them alone.

“Professor, what happened?” Kate’s healer mode activated and started scanning McGonagall for injuries and signals of distress.

“Oh, Williams, a lot is been happening this past year. I can imagine you’ve been informed?”

“Vaguely. I arrived two days ago from…”

“I know.”

Kate grabbed the file at the foot of the bed and read the report on McGonagall’s state.

“Four stunning spells to the chest?” She looked up and asked with her eyes, but her professor wasn’t in a mood for a talk.

“Williams, I must get out of here and go back to Hogwarts. I’m afraid it’s going to be too late by the time they let me go.”

“Professor, you could faint just by… too late for what?”

“Williams!” Madame Louise motioned her to come closer. Kate hesitated, but followed the mediwizard to a quieter space. “What happens to be the problem?”

“I’ve been poisoned two days ago.”

“In that case you should have come earlier, don’t you think?”

“There’s been… complications. I wanted to ask you if it’s possible to poison someone without using a vial or a potion or, I don’t know, food or drinks.”

The woman hummed and crossed her arms in front of her. “That’s rather strange.”

“Is this…” Kate moved the collar of the shirt to the side, revealing the red marks that hadn’t disappeared yet. “… a possible way?”

Louise grabbed the glasses that were hanging by a chain around her neck and placed them on the tip of her nose to inspect the injuries.

“The poison could have been injected with some kind of needle, but the shape of these marks means claws or… nails.”

She took her glasses off and waved them while talking. “I imagine it is possible, but you must have a very twisted mind to carry around poison in your nails. Also, you need to be very careful, a bad placement of the poison can cause yourself to get ill. In what kind of troubles are you getting into, Williams?”

“It’s a story for another day.”

 “Madame Louise, I can’t find Jared O’Leary…” The boy that was treating McGonagall appeared from behind Kate.

“What are you talking about? Go back to work! Naturally, you can’t find him. He doesn’t work here anymore!”

“But she…”

“Is every patient cured, Mr Boyle?” Kate slid away from the conversation to where Professor McGonagall was resting.

“I suddenly feel tired…”

Kate nodded and checked that the potions on her nightstand were filled and in order. A hand grabbed her wrist, and she turned to look at McGonagall.

“Katherine. You must find Potter. Something terrible is about to happen.”

Kate frowned and got closer to her former professor’s face.

“The Ministry. Try the Ministry,” she whispered.

Kate didn’t think twice. She ran all she could to the underground station, receiving some odd glances from the surrounding people.

When she arrived at the Ministry stop, she could sense the commotion even from the muggles that were passing by.

“A gas leak.” She heard while climbing up the mechanic stairs. Some people complained at her rudeness, but she couldn’t stop and apologise at the moment.

“There’s the press. Those vultures. It was probably a problem with plumbing. Look! The water reached the first floor!” A man said.

Kate tried to walk among the curious souls that were conglomerated around the building and recognised the protection bubble that was forming around it. She slid under it with ease.

“But I heard an explosion! I’m telling you!” a woman said to a journalist.

She tried to enter the building, but what seemed to be an auror stopped her.

“Let me in! I’m a healer!”

The man remained stoic and grabbed her arm.

“Identification?”

“I… I don’t have it right now but…”

“You can’t go in, Miss” She tried to get rid of him and she almost succeeded, but when the doors to the Ministry opened, she stopped the struggle. Four aurors walked out the building protecting several figures that walked behind them. She tried to reach them, but the security guard grabbed her again.

“You are the cursed girl! Daily Prophet here! Are you involved in the accident? How do you think your father will react to this? How do you think this is connected to your brother?”

“I’m not…” dumbfounded by the flash of a camera, she tried to escape from the journalists.

“Miss Williams! Miss Williams! What can you tell us about the person who died?”

She couldn’t hear anything, see anything, someone pushed her, and she felt another flash of a camera. Her head was spinning.

Cornelius Fudge stepped out of the building and pointed his wand at his neck. He cleared his throat and all the attention was directed at him.

“It is with great regret that I must confirm that the wizard styling himself Lord… well, you know who I mean… is alive and among us again.”

--

[Epilogue]

--

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Falling Stars (Sequel to Tell A Tale of You and Me) Chapter Two

Pairing: Dean Thomas x Reader

Summary: In the midst of a brewing war you fall for one of your classmates, a boy that you used to know. When you have the chance to fight against evil, you fight for what you believe in.

Chapter Summary: Tensions rise between Umbridge and Harry, forcing Dean and Cass to be civil with one another. Meanwhile, competition arises on the Quidditch pitch.

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of death, swearing, sassy Harry

Words: 2645

Disclaimer: I haven’t read The Order of The Phoenix in so long so the timeline might be out of wack!

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this part, please let me know what you think and if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

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Chapter Two - The Pink Toad

Dean woke up, shivering slightly in the drafty dormitories – with all the magic in Hogwarts he thought someone would have taken the initiative to make the castle warmer. He was in a bad mood already and for a moment he couldn’t think why and then, it hit him like a ton of bricks. The 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins were going to be having their first lesson with Umbridge in Defence Against the Dark Arts. To hear other people talk about it, it seemed like she didn’t know what she was doing, they said that she should have stayed at the Ministry.

He mulled over his thoughts as he walked over to the window and watched the quiet grounds begin to stir beneath the glow of the rising sun. Dean couldn’t deal with another shit Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. Dumbledore should have brought Lupin back – even if he was a werewolf – he had been the best Professor they’d ever had.

Though, it wasn’t all that bad, today Quidditch try outs were taking place tonight, he had wanted to try out for the team last year but all of the matches had been cancelled due to the Triwizard Tournament. He was itching to climb onto his broom and zip through the late summer air. Once Seamus was awake – he didn’t say a word to Dean, Seamus was the worst person ever in the morning – they both got dressed and made their way to The Great Hall. Dean’s insides were already aching with hunger.

Dean perked up even more when he smelled all the amazing breakfast food and he sat by Fred and George Weasley, piling toast and bacon onto his plate.

“You trying out for the team then, Thomas?” Fred asked – or it might have been George – the twins both had identical smirks on their faces. The Weasley twins had been on the Quidditch team since Dean’s first year, they were extraordinary beaters.

“Of course,” Dean grinned, feeling excitement course through his body, “tonight’s try outs are going to be a blast!”

“You guys haven’t heard?” Dean looked around at the sound of a voice and his heart dropped when he saw Harry nervously running his fingers through his hair, “the Slytherins must have gotten wind of our try outs tonight because they booked the pitch before Angelina had the chance. Our try outs have been pushed to Saturday,” he scowled.

“What?” the four boys gasped in horror and Dean looked over at the Slytherin table.

Cass was laughing with her friends as she raised a mug to her lips; her eyes flickered over to Dean for a moment before she looked back at her friends. She looked radiant and beautiful, like she didn’t have a care in the world and that pissed Dean off, he turned back to his friends with a frown.

“I bet that Cass had something to do with this, this is so like her,” he moodily stabbed at his food.

Seamus rolled his eyes as he shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth, “mate,” he started with his voice muffled, “you say that you don’t give a shit about her but, Merlin, I think you’re obsessed. Not everything that happens is her fault.”

In the back of Dean’s mind he knew himself that Seamus was right and it had probably had nothing to do with Cass. However, he was still so annoyed with her that he wouldn’t even entertain that idea.

On their way to class, Dean’s eyes impatiently searched through the sea of people in the corridor, “this isn’t a good idea mate,” Seamus scoffed.

“Please, just give us a second, yeah?” he offered his best mate a smile before going back to the task at hand and he spotted Cass as she was about to walk into class.

“Oi, Cass!” he called out to her, making her stop in her track and she gave him a surprised look as he caught up with her, “why would your team book the damn pitch for tonight? We were supposed to have our try outs.”

Cass rolled her eyes and Dean noticed the glimmer of disappointment in them and he almost felt guilty, “do I look like the team captain? Everything that goes wrong in your life isn’t my fault you know,” she hissed before storming into the classroom.

“Told ya,” Seamus snickered.

Umbridge hadn’t come down from her office yet so Dean contented himself with doodling a lion devouring a snake while Lavender and Parvati made a bird out of paper and had charmed it to soar through the air. As it flew over to Dean and Seamus, Dean laughed, “go on, Seamus. Hit it!” he goaded his best friend and Seamus landed a successful hit, blowing it off course. In the next second, it burst into flames making the class jump.

Dean scowled as a toad like woman stood at the front of the class wearing the ugliest shade of pink ever seen. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as a sickly sweet perfume smell wafted towards him. Umbridge started like all the other teaches had by explaining the importance of OWLS, before she handed out a beginners handbook.

“Your introduction to this subject has been uneven, probably due to the fact that you’ve had half breeds teaching you and whatnot,” there was mirth in her voice and it annoyed Dean massively.

“If you must know, Professor Lupin was the best teacher we’ve ever had. So what if he’s a werewolf?” most of the class murmured in agreement and Dean clenched his teeth in anger as Umbridge gave him a sweet smile.

“That will be five points from Gryffindor, Mr Thomas,” she let out a high pitched laugh that went right through Dean.

“Dean is right though! How is it Remus’ fault that he got bitten? He didn’t ask for that to happen! It shouldn’t make it impossible for him to get a job, he’s not dangerous,” Cass piped up.

Dean whirled around to look at her; her usually warm eyes were hard as she stared at Umbridge with a furious expression. Dean agreed with Cass though he hated to admit it and would never say it out loud. Cass made eye contact with Dean and her eyes softened as she smiled at him gratefully. Dean gulped and looked away.

Umbridge smirked as her nostrils flared but she didn’t tell Cass off. Instead, she smiled at a couple of people on the front row who had got their wands out, “oh, you can put those away, my dears.”

“We’re not going to be using magic?” Ron mumbled, his voice held all of the confusion that everyone else was feeling.

“Why on earth would you need to use magic dear?” she let out another annoying high pitched laugh.

“Oh, of course,” Harry gasped as he slapped a hand against his forehead, “because when Voldemort comes after all of us, the last thing we’ll need to know is defensive magic, dear me, the thought of it. Ron, how could you ask such a silly question?” sarcasm laced Harry’s voice, making Dean smirk to himself as everyone waited for Umbridge’s response with baited breath.

Umbridge barely flinched at the use of You-Know-Who’s real name and her sickly sweet smile almost faltered, “you and your tall tales, Mr Potter. The Ministry would be protecting everyone if the Dark Lord was back.”

Dean glanced over at Harry when he let out a scoff to see that Harry had his hands on the table, clenching his fists, “so, Cedric Diggory spontaneously combusted did he?” Harry’s tone was dry as he glared at Umbridge, “Voldemort killed him! And you’re an idiot for not admitting it!”

Someone near the back of the room gasped at Harry’s words and everyone got ready to watch Umbridge murder Harry. Umbridge’s face was drained of colour as she scrawled on a piece of parchment and simply said in a steady voice, “come here, Mr Potter,” when Harry stormed up to her desk, she gave him the parchment, “take this to Professor McGonagall, off you go dear,” Harry scoffed as he snatched it off her and stormed out of the room, not looking back.

The rest of the lesson continued in silence, nobody dared to speak to one another. At the end of the class, Cass caught up with Dean, “intense huh?”

Dean was still reeling from the shock of Harry’s words that he momentarily forgot the bitterness he had towards her, “yeah,” he laughed, scuffing his shoe against the floor.

“It was nice of you to speak up for Remus,” she smiled, leaning against the cold stone wall.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly as his cheeks grew hot and he tried to ignore the peaceful feeling in his chest, “thought it was only fair to defend the guy when he wasn’t there to defend himself,” he cleared his throat, “it was good of you to speak up for him too.”

“I would do anything and say anything for the people that I care about,” she looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes as she bit her lower lip and Dean swallowed nervously, “I thought you would know that by now,” she gave him a small smile and pushed off from the wall, “see you around,” she nodded at him and then she was off, walking down the corridor with Astoria.

“So, the both of you can have a civil conversation without biting each other’s head off,” Seamus smirked.

------------------------------------

As you stood with your back against the Quidditch stands you shivered in the freezing evening air as you watched the try outs, waiting for your turn to try out for the position of Keeper. Your teeth chattered as you stuck your hands in the inside of your coat and pulled the letter from your dad out of the inside pocket. You smiled down at the piece of parchment as you read over the words again in the perfect script. He was wishing you luck at the try outs, he knew how important Quidditch was to you.

All you wanted to do was make him proud, you knew that Harry made him proud but Harry had that effect on the adults in his life who loved him. It seemed so easy for him, he was a hero. You just wanted to make Sirius proud of who you were. Your breath came out as smoke as you watched your housemates zip through the sky in all directions. All you wanted to do was zip through the sky with them; hopefully it would warm you up. It was strange that Draco wasn’t trying out this year; he loved a bit of attention.

You jumped slightly as you felt warmth against your elbow and you glanced to the side to see Astoria holding a steaming cup of something hot, “this is for you, you look freezing,” she laughed as she passed you the cup.

You grinned at her as you lifted the cup to your lips and swallowed down the hot chocolate, humming at the thickness of it, it burned your tongue slightly but you didn’t care all that much, you were just thankful for the heat, “thank you so much,” you licked your lips as the hot drink warmed your insides, “what are you doing here? You hate Quidditch,” you narrowed your eyes as you realised just why she was here, “Draco’s not playing this year, sorry to disappoint you,” you laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not here for him Cass, I’m here for you. I know that I hate Quidditch, just don’t see the point of it all but I know how much you love it and you’re my best friend, so I came here to support you.”

Astoria’s words were so sweet and kind that you threw your arms around her in a tight hug, “I love you, you’re amazing. You know that?”

“Of course I know that,” she laughed, winking at you as she linked your arm through yours and leaned her head on your shoulder, “uh oh, incoming.”

You bit your lip as Dean, Harry, Seamus and Ron were coming out of the castle heading for the stands behind you. It seemed as though Harry and Seamus had put aside their rivalry in the name of Quidditch, the thought made you roll your eyes. What were they doing here? Were they here to sabotage you?

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” you turned around to face the Gryffindor boys, shouting against the howling wind.

Dean smirked, just enough for his dimples to be on display and even from here you could see his eyes flash with an emotion that you didn’t recognise, “I’ve missed out on Quidditch for the past two years, I’m not waiting till Saturday to be able to watch some! It’s got nothing to do with you,” he raised an eyebrow at you as he slouched against his chair, making you scowl at him.

Harry laughed as he shot you a smile, “and we wanted to see what form your players were on!” he would never tell you outright but you knew he was here to offer you some support and you appreciated it. You shook your head at the boys before turning back to watch the try outs, painfully aware of their eyes on you.

Finally, the captain looked at you, “Cass? C’mon, let’s go!” Astoria gave you a supportive smile and a pat on your shoulder as you walked onto the pitch, mounting your broom as you soared through the air to guard the hoops.

The first couple of throws the captain directed at you were easy saves; there wasn’t much spin on the Quaffle so you could have saved it with your eyes closed. However, every time you made a mediocre save, you could hear Astoria screaming as if you had made an amazing save and it made you laugh, she really didn’t understand Quidditch. You didn’t feel the cold anymore; the adrenaline you felt made it all go away

“C’mon! Give me a challenge!” you shouted to the troll like boy who was hovering on his broom, holding the Quaffle, he smirked at you as he sent the ball hard and fast with a lot of spin on it.

You kicked, caught and booted the ball with the end of your broomstick, sending it back to him and every time he caught it with a taken aback look on his face. There was a save that you almost didn’t make, it was too far off to the side but you caught it between the tips of your fingers. You heard the small crowd below you gasp and you glanced down to see Dean looked impressed – though he would never admit it – it only made him more handsome.

By the end of try outs, it was no question that you had been the best Keeper, and you were looking forward to practise the following week. As you walked towards Astoria she grinned at you, throwing an arm around your shoulders, “that was amazing! I can’t believe that you’re my best friend.”

You rolled your eyes at her words but you couldn’t help but smile a little, as you walked back into the castle together, desperate to get out of the cold night air, “oi, Cass!” you whipped around as you heard Dean calling after you.

Astoria gasped a little in delight as Dean jogged towards you, a competitive glint in his eye, “Gryffindor are going to kick your arse in the first match,” you laughed and it felt like things were better between you and Dean.

However, as the rest of the boys ran up to you, Dean’s expression dropped and his eyes went hard and cold again. It was obvious that apart from the competitive banter, nothing had changed.

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