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mrsbakashi · 1 year

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Hi! Do you still take requests? I love your headcanons! Can I have (😳) for kakashi from the emoji prompts pls <3

hi, lovely anon! i'm really happy you like my headcanons, they were so fun to write! which is why i wanna thank you for requesting this one - i've been working in five long-heavy projects (because i'm insane) so this one felt like a nice breath of fresh air, plus it was written in like ten minutes AND it gave me the good feeling of finishing something YAY! so thank you!

anyway, i hope you like it!

😳: a confessing headcanon - kakashi

it all started as a joke between guys, you know. on one night, one of the only few nights kakashi agreed to go to the bar with the other jonins, one he regretted so so so much;

they were sitting at the table, the three of them alone: asuma, gai and kakashi, with asuma having drunk a little more than usual and laughing loudly at gai's awful jokes while kakashi politely turned down whatever it was that they kept offering him;

you were there too, at the back of the bar, talking with shizune and anko, laughing, a bottle in your hands and awkwardly dancing sometimes - truth be told, kakashi only did go so he could have an excuse to watch you having fun, the strong and worried kunoichi you usually were out of sight. it seemed unfair that he never got to see that side of you simply because he's an introvert, so there he was, only because of you;

of course the guys knew he liked you - despite the fact that he was great at hiding his thoughts and feelings, gai knew kakashi too well, so it was pretty obvious for him, so of course he made sure it was obvious for asuma too, because it seemed like such a great idea!

so, you see, gai challenged kakashi. not a silly challenge, like it usually is, but he challenged kakashi to ask you out on a date or he would do it himself - and asuma got in the middle of it saying that, if neither of them did it, then he would do it

kakashi tried to talk it off, and say he didn't know what they were talking about, and that he didn't care, but it only took gai's arm around your waist to make him change his mind - the man was beside you in milliseconds, pulling you away from gai's touch

so gai looked at him and laughed, and then kakashi asked you, with his voice so low you could've dreamed your heard it "hey, i was wondering if you're free tomorrow night?"

"tomorrow night? yes! what do you have in mind?"

"maybe we could, uh, grab something to eat"

he cleared throat, clearly embarrassed, and you thought what a precious view that was - the great copynin, embarrassed, almost shy.

besides the fact that he actually had a date with you, kakashi regretted going to the bar because that took him out of his comfort zone - he was more than content just watching you from afar, interacting with you during missions only, and with the occasional dreams where you would kiss him and smile - and now he'd have to spend time with you and act as if he wasn't dying to kiss you

so you went out on a date. you ate in a nice restaurant, where you drank a little too much because kakashi only nodded to everything you said, and then dropped by the book store to see what was new - i mean, you knew kakashi liked to read, so he'd have to be excited, since he acted so weird during dinner, right? wrong! you showed him a bunch of books, talked on and on about a few others that you read, making entire reviews, and the man could only nod. it was getting on your nerves.

you walked up to your house practically in silence, since you're ran out of subjects to talk about and kakashi apparently lost the ability to speak

it wasn't until he left you at your door that you opened your mouth. "thanks, i had a... good... time tonight."

"i'm glad you enjoyed it."

"oh, so you can talk!"

"i'm sorry?"

"kakashi, come on, i know something's up, i know you. tell me, what's going on?"

"it's nothing."

"tell me. you can trust me."

"it's really... nothing." he took a deep breath, but his eyes were set on your lips.

you opened the door and invited him in for a tea, which he politely turned down. so you insisted, and he turned it down once again.

"ok, since you're not coming in, tell me this: why did you ask me out?"

"oh that, hm, i don't want you to take this the wrong way, but gai challenged me-"

"well, of course he did! ugh, i'm so stupid! you know, i actually thought, well, kurenai made me think, that you asked me out because you, hear this: liked me! ha! what a joke, right?"

he heard the words, but took a while to actually understand them. how could he explain to you that the challenge was a mere excuse? he made you feel like a joke, and that wasn't his intention, not even in a million years.

"i mean, i feel so ridiculous! this is what i get for getting my hopes up and falling in love with kakashi fuckin hatake! well done, y/n!"

those words hit him right away, like a punch straight in his stomach, waking every cell in his body - fall in love with kakashi fucking hatake.

"look, i'm sorry, let's just call it a night, forget i-"

"did you say fall in love?"

you sighed. of course you and your big mouth would get you in trouble. "kakashi, look, i'm drunk, i don't know what i'm saying, just ignore it."

he got your hand to get your attention when you threaten to go inside your house.

"are you or are you not in love with me?"

"kakashi-"

"are you?" - he repeated, but this time there was some sort of urgency in his voice, he sounded almost... angry. you felt your head spin.

"well, duh! show me a woman in this whole damn viallge-no, country! show me a woman in this whole damn country who isn't in love with you and i'll show you a dead woman!"

kakashi laughed, and that felt like the last straw for you - it was one thing that you felt ridiculous given the situation, but it was something completely different that he would laugh at you, specially in your face, as if you weren't feeling bad and awful enough.

"oh, it's so funny isn't it? i thought you were so sweet, but you're actually really mean! i bet you already knew that i have a crush on you, and so did gai, and that's why-"

(un)fortunately you didn't finish your sentence because kakashi kissed you, which made you feel confused, but also happy, with your head spiralling into a million thoughts you couldn't even begin to understand because he was there, kissing you, pulling you impossibly close as if you could merge into each other.

he breaks the kiss so you both can get some air, and rests his forehead on yours, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose. "well, it turns out, y/n, that i'm in love with you too".

"ok." is all you say, trying to make it all make sense inside your head - it wasn't just that you were a little bit tipsy, but more how unrealistic the whole thing felt. like one of your dreams. oh god, how many times you've dreamed about him kissing you on your doorstep and telling you he loved you. there was no way in hell that was real. in a few hours you'd wake up in a empty bed, with a killer headache regretting every single one of your life decisions, specially the ones that would lead you to kakashi again and again. always the same fucking team...

"are you ok?"

you looked up at him, realizing you were too lost inside your own head and he was still there, talking to you, like it was - may god allow it to be true - reality. you slapped your own face, which caused kakashi to look at you confused, but intrigued.

if you were dreaming the slap would've woken you up, right? so if it didn't, and if he was still there it was reality. kakashi hatake was really at your doorstep, telling you he was in love with you. do dreams really come true?

"y/n?"

"i'm ok! just making sure i'm not... you know, dreaming."

"oh, so you have these dreams as well?"

"hold up, you're blowing my mind."

he kissed you again, more gently this time. he wasn't in a hurry. he knew, deep down his heart, that he would spend the rest of his life kissing you from now on.

"do you want to go inside or do you want to spend the rest of the night kissing me on my doorstep?"

send me an emoji prompt and i'll write you a headcanon

#it's sweet isn't it?#kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fluff #kakashi hcs #kakashi headcanons #naruto hcs #naruto headcanons #naruto fanfic #request #my man #mine #naruto fluff #mrsbakashi #prompts

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froizetta · 8 months

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Since it's WIP Wednesday, I've decided to post an excerpt from a longer WIP to motivate myself to write it! If it's technically on the internet, I can't just not finish it, can I? Right??? Fingers crossed I can make this a regular thing with other WIPs...

So anyway, here's part of chapter 1 from my early-career superbat identity porn fic!

“The thing you’ve gotta remember,” Jimmy said firmly with a slightly overenthusiastic wave of his jack and coke. A little bit of liquid sloshed out onto the countertop. “The thing you gotta remember. Is.” He blinked. “Ah, cripes. What was it again?”

Clark absently took a sip of his own drink. The whisky was at least a pleasant burn in his throat, even if it wasn’t exactly his favorite flavor. “Gee, I don’t think I can help you with that, Jim.”

Jimmy beamed. “Oh yeah! The thing you’ve gotta remember is, that there’re plenty of fish in the sea.”

Clark couldn’t quite suppress the wry quirk to his smile. “Wow. That’s some original advice right there.”

“No, but for real though!” Jimmy insisted, slamming an emphatic fist on the table. “Just. So many fish. A whole ocean! Of women! And, uh, also not women!”

“That does sound like a lot of people.”

“Exactly,” Jimmy said, nodding sagely. “You’ve just gotta widen your net, is all. To more than, like, one fish-woman.”

Ah, yes. Clark was honestly a little surprised it had taken him five drinks to bring it up. Apparently, Jimmy had needed some Dutch courage before embarking on the ‘romance advice’ portion of the evening.

Clark could humor him on it, at least. “You mean Lois?” he asked.

“Yeah I mean Lois! Don’t get me wrong, Lois is great. But she’s just one fish,” Jimmy said emphatically. “Like, sure, maybe she’s a really cool fish. Like… Like koi or something. Koi are actually pretty amazing, did you know they—” He paused and then shook his head. “Wait, no, this isn’t the time for fun fish facts. What I mean is, just because koi are cool, doesn’t mean there aren’t equally cool salmon. Or tuna. Don’t let the koi blind you to all the…the really hot tuna around you. You know?”

Jimmy looked concerningly pleased with his increasingly labored metaphor. Clark charitably chose to blame this on the alcohol rather than Jimmy’s abilities as a writer. “Maybe you’re right, Jim. I guess it’s pretty silly to be so stuck on her, huh?”

Jimmy frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I think you guys would be great together, you know that.”

“I’m not sure her new fella would agree with you,” he said. Embarrassingly, the glumness in his tone wasn’t entirely feigned.

“Don’t be so pessimistic,” Jimmy said insistently. “We don’t know that it’s like that. Maybe it’s just a pity date?”

It wasn’t just a pity date, Clark was pretty sure about that. Lois had been wearing the perfume she wore whenever she wanted to impress someone. And yes, that was a creepy thing to notice, but he couldn’t help it, okay? Super-senses make a lot of things really hard to ignore.

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s none of my business anyway. I know she doesn’t see me that way, and that’s fine.” And it was. He knew that to Lois, he was just a coworker – and a bumbling, awkward, country bumpkin of one at that. Even though he definitely hammed up the act to create distance between Clark Kent and Superman, the real Clark Kent still wasn’t the kind of guy who would appeal to someone like Lois. She’d want someone classy and sophisticated. Someone like her.

Probably someone like whatever guy she was on a date with right now, in fact.

“And, I mean… it's Lois,” he added, as neutrally as he could manage. “She’s out of most people’s leagues. It’s not— I mean, I never really thought I had a shot with her, you know? So I’m not about to get all bent out of shape because of one date. Honest.”

Apparently, this wasn’t what Jimmy had wanted to hear, at least judging by the way his face fell. “What? No no no, that’s not what I— Look, I’m not trying to say you don’t have a chance there. In fact, I think she’d be lucky to date you. But what I mean is, it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t see that. You’re an awesome dude! I just think you deserve to be happy, with or without Lois.”

“Oh,” Clark said, then blinked and ducked his head, taken aback by how hard that had hit him. Jimmy really was a great friend. He suddenly felt guilty for spending their evening together daydreaming about eating pizza on his couch. “Shucks, Jim, that’s…that’s real nice of you to say.”

“I’m not being ‘nice’, I’m being honest. Listen veeery closely, Clark.” Jimmy set his glass down and grasped Clark around the shoulders, looking him straight in the eye.

Clark tensed. “Um. What’s happening.”

“Shush,” Jimmy said. “You’re listening.”

“I am?”

“You are. Now focus and take this in. Really internalize it.” His gaze was a little unsteady, but still intense and undoubtedly sincere. “You – Clark Kent – are a bona fide catch.”

Clark couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter. It would be easier to take Jimmy seriously if he wasn’t starting to slur his words. “A ‘catch’? Are we still on the fish metaphor?”

Jimmy blinked. “What? No, no. Look, you’re smart, you’re a successful reporter. You’re probably the nicest guy I know. And you’re tall, like…what, 6’1”? 6’2”?”

“Something like that,” Clark half-lied with an easy smile.

“Yeah, so. Tall. Trust me, as a short guy, that’s a big plus. Everyone loves tall guys. You’re, you know, the tall, dark and handsome type. Like Superman!”

His smile froze. “Oh?”

“Yeah! Chicks love Superman. Not saying you look much like him, of course—”

“Of course,” Clark agreed.

“—but you’ve got, like. A similar appeal.” He squinted up at Clark. “You know, I’m not the best judge for this type’a thing, but if I feel like you’d clean up real nice if you made the effort.”

“Hm. I dunno, Jim…”

Jimmy was insistent. “You could change up your style, maybe. You ever tried contacts?”

“I’m afraid they don’t really agree with me,” Clark said apologetically. Which was true, in a sense. The glasses were pretty integral to the whole secret identity thing, after all.

“Shame,” Jimmy said, finally letting go of Clark to lean back. But as he did, something over Clark’s shoulder caught his eye. He grinned. “Oh, hey, my first piece of evidence that you’re a catch: I’m 90% sure that guy is checking you out right now.”

“What?” Clark said and made to look behind him.

Before he could turn, Jimmy grabbed his face in both hands. “Shhhhh!” Jimmy said urgently, even though Clark wasn’t saying anything. “You can’t just look. That’s waaay too obvious.”

Clark was pretty sure Jimmy was being more obvious than looking himself would have been, but he stayed obligingly still while Jimmy peered over his shoulder at the mystery man.

“Okay,” Jimmy said eventually. “So I’m not great at telling when guys are hot, but I’m pretty sure this guy is hot. And, again, definitely into you. I’m 95% sure.”

“I thought it was 90%?”

“Sure, but I’ve accumulula… accumama…” He frowned and shook his head. “I’ve got more evidence since then, see? So I’m surer now!”

In retrospect, he probably should have insisted on Jimmy eating something more substantial than bar snacks over the last couple hours. “Sure, Jim,” he said gently. “It’s, uh, getting pretty late, though. Maybe we should head home soon?”

“It’s—” Jimmy squinted his watch and balked. “It’s only 10:30, so no way! I’ve got a new mission now, and it’s to wingman you with this probably hot guy. Trust me, I’m a great wingman.”

Clark raised an eyebrow. “Are you? What would you even do?”

“You know, the usual. Hey, have you met my friend Clark? He’s like 6’2” and a hotshot reporter at a big newspaper. And then I just slide out—” he made a slow swoop with his hand “—and just like that, bam! Take that, Lois! Clark’s got a hot date of his own!”

Clark raised the other eyebrow. “That’s…not particularly subtle.”

“Well, subtlety isn’t a part of the Olsen Wingman Experience. But it works!” Jimmy said brightly. “I even managed to wingman my ex-girlfriend while we were still dating, although that was mostly an accident. But it was still very effective. Thanks to that, I know for sure it works.”

“Oh!” Clark said. And then frowned. “Oh. I’m, uh. I’m sorry to hear that. Do you wanna talk about—”

“Nope,” Jimmy said firmly, decisively. “Tonight isn’t about my borderline traumatizing romantic history, tonight is about you. You and this totally hot guy who I’m, like, 99% sure is into you.”

“Mm. I see you’ve accumulated more evidence.”

“Yeah, actually! I—” Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Okay, crap. It’s 100% now. He’s coming over here.”

Clark blinked. He’d been half-convinced Jimmy had just been imagining things, but… “He is?”

“He is! Just be cool, okay?”

“Jim,” he began in protest, but before he could say anything else there was a presence at his back. Clark turned to greet the stranger. And stared. Because— Huh. Huh?

Either those whiskies had been a lot more effective on him than he’d thought, or that was Bruce Wayne leaning ever-so-casually against the bar next to him.

#superbat #clark kent #my fic #not tagging bruce because he doesn't have any lines yet lol #I don't wanna post the chapters I've already written yet #since the outline is still in progress and bits might change #but I figure no-one's gonna see it on here anyway so that won't matter as much #yolo etc etc

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dollywheeler · 10 months

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September 29th, 1996

And I say hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey I said "hey, what's going on?"

I've had this song stuck in my head all morning, still dancing along to it as if I'm still in the gymnasium, my gold dress swirling around me. I don't know why this song - it's not particularly romantic, or fitting to the occasion, doesn't sum up how the evening had felt. Yet, it had been the most magical moment of the entire night.

One moment, dancing with Daniel to Duran Duran, then this song came on, the slow start meaning we didn't break apart yet, trying to stay close as long as possible, but when the chorus hit the entire hall threw their heads back, screaming along in a messy harmony. It felt like a dream, didn't feel quite real, like some kind of movie, when your heart feels full even though you're just watching it play out in front of you. Except, this time I was in the middle of it, screaming along with everyone else, and it felt like I was floating, wishing the moment could less forever.

That's not to say the rest of the evening wasn't just as wonderful. Daniel took me to an actual restaurant, which was a nice change of pace from the dinner, but I honestly can't tell if the food was even worth it. My stomach was too busy swirling with nerves, and I could barely get any food past my lips because we were too distracted talking and laughing. It was wonderful - he was wonderful, looking dapper in his suit and glinting golden in the candle light. As far as first dates go, I'm sure it couldn't have gone any better. Not that I'd know, as this was my first first date, but it felt like a dream, like something that couldn't possibly be real.

It was the perfect blend between familiar and exciting - the comfort of someone you already know, someone you already love spending time with, mixed with the nerve-wracking thrill of a new context, of possibility.

We were having such a great time that we were late to the actual dance, having lost track of time completely during our conversation. Whitney gave me this knowing look about it - I don't think she would have believed me if I'd told her we'd just been talking.

Anyway, we danced and we laughed and gossiped and I didn't even care that Mike and his 'party' or whatever was there. I'd already realised I'd have to get used to them being around the school in every facet - that includes chaperoning school events. The night was too perfect though, and I was not going to let anything darken my mood.

I did get to talk to Max though, and thank her for the birthday gift. She said she'd mostly just said 'yes' or 'no' to things Mike had picked out and it was no big deal but that she was glad I liked it. I also used the moment to ask about everything else - I realised that if Mike won't call to tell her things, I might as well ask someone else for intel. Apparently, Lucas and her still live in Chicago, and she works as a counselor at the blind school she went to after whatever happened had happened. Everyone is always so vague about the details, but I didn't want to ask her directly and force her to relive it. That's one thing that actually is none of my business anyway.

Erica is living with them while she is going to college - she got her Bachelor's last June but just started law school. I can't imagine moving in with Nancy while I'm in college. Don't get me wrong, Nancy's great, but it's college! You're supposed to go out on your own and become independent and stuff. I said as much to Max, but she just shrugged and smiled to herself. She said Erica was happier with them than she'd been at the dorms.

I didn't know how to go from there so I just asked about El. I knew she still visits Hawkins a lot, because opposite to the others, I see her around town sometimes. At Melvalds with Joyce or in the diner with Sheriff Hopper, or alone around the library in the center of town. But there's also stretches of time when I don't see her at all. According to Max she takes a bunch of classes at the community college, but also travels a lot - bouncing between Chicago and San Fran and New York. Max said that whenever Dustin or Jonathan and Nancy have to travel for work, she usually tags along too. I don't know why or how she does all of that, but it sounds like a dream. Yet, at the same time, I think I'd personally hate it.

She seemed happy enough though, and it's obvious she is happy. From across the room I could see that, as always, her smile was wide and her skin warm with a tan, her hair pinned back with clips that clashed with her new pink highlights. Most of the chaperones hadn't bothered dressing up, but she had clearly thought about her outfit, each item carefully picked out to form a particular look, even if it was just jeans and a colorful sweater.

I didn't want to outright ask about Mike or Will, mostly because I know what they're doing right now and asking about Mike felt too much like snooping. Max didn't seem like she was going to mention it on her own, and before I could make up my mind on whether I really wanted to know, Dylan came to drag me back to the dance floor.

It was only after we were taking another break some time later that I realised I still didn't know what Dustin or Lucas are doing. I assume Dustin lives in San Fran, as that's the only reason El would go there as often as Chicago or New York, but I don't know what he does there. Probably some kind of tech company or whatever. And I'm pretty sure I heard Mrs. Sinclair talk about Lucas following in his father's footsteps but honestly I don't even know what he does so that doesn't answer any questions.

Might be something to talk about on Friday to fill awkward silences.

Anyway the dance was amazing, and someone must have succeeded in smuggling in alcohol because there was a girl puking in one of the bathroom stalls before 9 pm. She was nice though, told me she liked my dress. Even that felt magical, despite her smudged make-up and loopy expression, the entire night like a daydream where I was floating on air and nothing could ever be wrong.

There was an after party at Selena's house - I swear kids of divorced parents are raising themselves because somehow their houses are always empty at the most opportune times - but Danny and I decided not to go. I didn't want to risk ruining what had been the perfect evening, and I knew I'd only get more tired and everyone else less sober. It also kept the evening quiet, just Daniel and I in the car as he drove me home, drunk on happiness and singing along to the radio. Last night, it seemed, for once, I hadn't cared about missing out. I still don't.

I mean - nothing could have topped Daniel dropping me off at home, getting out of the car along with me as if he didn't know what he was doing either but had seen a few movies, and walked me up to the front door. I knew dad would already be asleep, but mom would be sitting up in the sitting room like she'd done so many nights before, for so many years on end, waiting for her teenager to get home safe.

I had my jacket draped over my shoulders because it wasn't too cold yet and I liked the air against my arms after the crowded gymnasium. Daniel pretended to pull it tighter around me, only to use it as leverage to draw me closer and kiss me. It feels silly writing it down because there's nothing I can say to really describe it. No words that feel right or do it justice, that explain how I'm blushing all over again just thinking about it, my stomach swirling at the recollection.

All I know is that I wish I was still in that moment, still holding his face in my hand, gently scratching my nail over his cheek, submitting the feeling to memory. But I didn't mind when he pulled away, his face flushed and dark eyes shining in the porchlight, because I got to smile at him and he smiled back, blush deepening as he stepped away and muttered a goodnight, dimples digging into his cheeks where I'd held him.

I watched him go before getting back into the house, finding mom asleep on the couch. It was late for her, I realised, even though it was only a little before twelve, and considered the fact she hadn't had to stay up in a long time - not since Mike had left. I didn't want to wake her but knew I had to - if just to let her know I was home and she wouldn't wake up worried.

I still can't quite believe the night was real.

I really should get the reading done for tomorrow, but I don't want to stop thinking about yesterday. Or tomorrow, when I'll see Daniel again.

Love, Holly <3

#holly wheeler #the third wheeler #stranger things #fanfic #byler

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wakeupthemembersofbylernation · 1 year

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who is cherrypraline? who is raccoon advocate? and what is with the leaks? I've gone for 10 days and now I can't understand the byler tag now😔 please explain to me

Hey! So cherrypraline is a notorious troll who appeared on the Byler tag last summer. She always acted erratically and chaotically and was very publicly anti-Byler. One of her most famous actions was making a “Byler shit list” where she listed the names of several prominent Bylers at the time including @will80sbyers I believe and said they were all part of a cult. It was wild times, and it was so over the top that you couldn’t take her seriously because she was clearly a troll and it was even somewhat funny at times. She also posted a bunch of “leaks” at the time, and I don’t remember the specifics, but as many on this tag have pointed out, most of them were very false. I think there were some that turned out to be correct, but these were the ones that came from Reddit and not ones she secured herself.

As part of her trolling, she would break up her anti-Byler posting by occasionally saying pro Byler things or things against Milkvan, which made people very confused and contributed to no one really understanding where she was coming from. Sometimes she would say that she wanted to be a Byler but Byler was unrealistic. Other times she would say that Will was toxic. All these things made her quite an infamous and controversial figure, but it certainly made a name for herself. And then, like most of the chaos of summer 2022, she disappeared entirely.

Recently she returned, which caused more confusion since she was a blast from the past AND many of the people on the tag currently weren’t around during the height of trolling or forgot how crazy she really was.

To make matters more confusing, she now claimed to be a Byler and to have changed her ways! She posted, “Mike Wheeler is straight? Tell him that” which got a lot of reblogs on here, from myself included. She stood against the sloppy second anons. She posted thoughtful takes overall, and while she still had her trolling vibe, the energy definitely was different. She said she was frustrated by the homophobia she saw on the Reddit. She was one of us now! Or so she claimed. Even with this changed heart and brand new cherrypraline, she still occasionally said some confusing and contradictory stuff. She even said, and I’m paraphrasing, “Let’s face it. Byler is boring compared to the other ships, and I say this as a Byler. No one would ship it if there wasn’t mystery built into it and if people didn’t want M1leven gone.” But overall, she had changed.

Recently, there have been rumors spreading in the ST fandom of “leaks,” but mostly it’s been people asking about the so-called leaks instead of posting them. I think some fake ones have been circulating, as well as someone who apparently has been right before saying they sadly saw a spoiler/leak but not posting the actual leak. It would seem that in the midst of all this, cherrypraline seized the opportunity to make herself the main character of the tag and insert herself into the chaos. She claimed to have received new leaks, which covered a wide range of topics on S5, and in terms of Byler vs. Milkvan, she claimed the situation was still murky and ambiguous with Mike still dating El but the show hinting at Mike liking Will. She also said something about a Call Me By Your Name ending. I’m simplifying things, but that’s the gist.

Many Bylers called her out as the troll she has always been, but since she had “changed her ways,” many Bylers believed her. People started sending her asks about her “leaks” and she kept responding to them, saying she had gotten them from a mysterious “source.” On and on this discourse went. Now of course she did this last summer, and her leaks were wrong. But cherrypraline gaslit us and said, “No, my leaks weren’t wrong. And I am not a troll.” She also compared herself to the infamous anti-Byler villain swiftlynatalia and said that while SN was an idiot, she still was right about many things.

Finally, @raccoon-advocate (a Byler blog on here) finished quietly gathering receipts that exposed her inconsistency even further. These receipts can be found here. They showed that not only was cherrypraline a low-level troll, she had said some extremely homophobic things in the past, and she wasn’t the gay ally and proud-Ronance supporter she claimed to have always been. They also raised new questions about her age, since her Tumblr account said she was 19, but in a tweet she made last year, she claimed to be 31. So which one is it? What are cherrypraline’s real beliefs? And what will she do next? It seems like we’ll never know the answer, cause shortly after this incriminating exposé, she deactivated her account. May she rest in peace.

#byler #cherryprailine #cherry gate

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thattimdrakeguy · 1 year

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was it the new dc movie slate that got you down? :( but anyway, if dc comics aren't bringing you joy anymore then I think it's good choice to take a break. hopefully you'll get stuff you'll like again some day.

yeah, like the comics are just really awful, have been for years with very short periods of quality that it's getting pointless to try and even wait it out

surrounding myself with people that somehow manage to like the stuff isn't great on the confidence or mind, because i'm literally putting myself in a place i'll get myself frustrated

but i was still like "AY, LOOK, I STILL GOT THE MOVIES"

but what they got planned? fuck that

I'm not watching the Flash, it has Ezra Miller. I'm not watching Aquaman it has Amber Heard. The Authority? Heard it was a good comic, but I'm just plain not going to have the same interest I had in a Guardians of the Galaxy or even The Suicide Squad.

Keeping some of the actors but getting rid of Henry Cavill? Fuck that. He's the only one I'd want to keep since Batfleck is done beyond cameos.

and i am certainly not watching The Brave And The Bold. I don't give a single living shit it might have the other Bat-Family members in it. What is the fucking point if they're there but we skip past the stories that'd be worth adapting. it's just literally fucking fan service, and the fact they're willing to skip so much only means they probably don't care about what makes them then, making it even less worth it

but i know the fandom will eat it up, so i'm certainly not going to be checking the tags again at least for a long time

i've already been decently far away from dc. most of my queue is months, maybe even over a year old actually. it literally posts one thing a day because that's the lowest i can set it. i actually wanted the queue to stop entirely when i did that, but i couldn't

sick of DC being just people's weird fan fictions. and i know technically every writer after the first is that. but their used to be some kind of standards that made it worth paying for

why should i pay for something that is half assed just in it's design?

been watching and reading about Ben 10 instead, 'cause I loved it as a kid and it's good nostalgia, and i already know i like it. and i'll probably start reading Ultimate Spider-Man, maybe I'll post about that stuff who knows

A person can only live off of old and sometimes dated comics for so long, especially with a fandom that pats itself on the back for being so nice, despite being filled with some of the most obnoxiously dense people that apparently have no way of detecting how obnoxious they're being

Lot of lovely people in the fandom don't get me wrong, but they're only getting fewer and far between, and I'm just not someone who can switch their opinions just to get the praise of a bunch of strangers i don't know

but will i like it again some day? very unlikely. everything is only going to get worse which it has been for years

i'm tired of stupid fucking sitcom bat-family

i liked the characters 'cause they were deep, layered, complex, and stood out. that isn't even remotely the case anymore

and DC films being James Gunn "what ever the fuck i want" universe was depressing. wasn't even properly mad. i didn't get red faced, i didn't feel this overwhelming sense of anger 'cause i no longer had the movies to look forward to. i was just disappointed, because 'Wow, i wasted my time being invested in this stuff even once'

the negatives of this experience of mine outweigh the positives

Ben 10 Omniverse is underrated

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jtprojects · 1 year

Text

Game Development with JavaScript

Blog Post 1 - INTP-362

So recently, I started learning JavaScript focusing on the game development side of it instead of just the regular website functionality stuff.

I'm going off of the assumption that you are from my class who has learned JavaScript in terms of website development before (if you aren't then hello!), I'm also gonna assume that you already know how to code and the basics of JS.

So game development using JavaScript isn't anything new, having been used in many beloved games such as Bejeweled, Pac-Man, Tetris, Agar.io, and so on and as game development has always been something that I've always wanted to learn, I figured why don't I try to make my own? "But why JS?" you may ask. Well here's the true answer, as cool as it would be to learn game dev in C or C++, those are simply just languages I'd rather learn on my own time without the pressure of meeting certain deadlines or having due dates for deliverables for while learning whereas I already am familiar with JS and it'll be easier for me to produce product that way :P (as this entire thing is currently kinda just for school and one of my subjects).

I started my journey learning JS game dev on a site called SoloLearn (a website that's whole purpose is to allow people to learn and practice coding). For the first couple weeks, the lessons were purely just recap of things I had already known (html, css, basic web dev stuff) and given the limited amount of lives that would be taken away if you answered the quiz questions wrong (which was embarrassingly more often than I'd like to admit. Turns out the recap was definitely needed lmAO) I only recently actually started getting into the new content.

From my limited time actually getting into the game dev side of JS, there's definitely a lot more math to be done. So far in our courses, I've found that we haven't really needed to get deep inside complex math (I'm talking trig and things to do with radians and pi and vexes and shapes bc let's be honest, that stuff is harder than calc or algebra I wiSH I could be doing calc or algebra instead of using pi bro) but I've found that JS game dev heavily relies on these aspects. Now of course, you don't need to manually do every single calculation to figure out every shape (circles make themselves essentially if you know what you're doing) but looking at all these numbers and tryna remember which axis is the x and which is the y after 2 years of not touching that pains me. I had to relearn how to convert angles into radians I'm in pain. But other than circles, the math was still necessary, especially given the short quiz questions that were handed out to me in which they gave us the x and y dimensions of the canvas (which is where all the cool shapes and stuff shows up) and we had to do math to figure out where a shape was supposed to be placed if we wanted it in a certain space on the canvas like the centre. While you may be thinking "Hey OP, that's genuinely not too bad, you simply divide the canvas x and y in half!" yeah, sure for circles but for rectangles/squares, it's a tad more difficult (or a lot more difficult if you have monke brain like me). In order to place a rectangle in the middle of the canvas, not only must you find the middle of the canvas, you must also take the width of the rectangle divided in 2 and then subtract that from the width of the canvas divided by 2 and then do the same for the length of the rectangle and canvas. Now while that may not be too bad, you must remember that my brain has the memory of chimpanzees (who apparently have the worst memory? Just like me fr) and I simply cannot remember that many numbers while still processing future math problems because I simply currently don't have the ability to (my memory is being reserved specifically by random minecraft and science facts).

Now that I've finished malding over the pain of numbers, onto what's kinda the neater part of game dev: the animating. I cannot explain to you the pain I went through when testing out different things. Fortunately, SoloLearn provides examples that you can run on the website while learning but despite the example being directly in front of me, I still manage to make mistakes when adding features to practice my understanding. Take this code for example:

A nice loading bar-like animation! For the longest time, I sat there wondering as to why when changing the value to blue, a portion of the line would flash blue before reverting back to red then doing the same thing again. This, of course, was because when I redrew the line starting from the beginning, the code to actually set x to 0 and to redraw the line in another colour was in the last if loop, causing the line to just restart drawing in red when the function was called again. Now while the solution was simple, as most of you have probably encountered before, actually finding the problem is a much more difficult process. I cannot explain the many errors and hours (it was more like max 5 mins but it deffo felt like hours to me) that it took for me to finally understand exactly what the problem was. But alas, my stupidity doesn't end there! Take another snippet of code and output as example:

The way that I viewed this animation was like watching cars go by or maybe the windows of a train or something of the like truthfully as it is, it can be whatever your heart desires it to be. Regardless of how you might view it, though, nothing can deny my pain when trying to code this. So the steps when coding animation for a moving subject is as follows:

Clear the canvas

Draw the object(s) in their new position

Update positions based on logic

Repeat

Along with the rule that whenever you draw another shape, you must always context.beginPath(). Pretty simple, right? Well admittedly, yes it is fairly simple HOWEVER recall my previous mention of my monke brain you will also have to remember that I fail do simple procedural things. Now I hope you have realized where this is going. When trying to code the blue moving square, I came across a problem. Suddenly my red square had disappeared like my hopes and dreams. But how could all the (extremely simplistic like a kindergartner's drawing probably worse if I'm being honest) cars looks the same? Where's the diversity? After hours (again, minutes) of searching my code to figure out who had been the cause of this devastation (it's me) I had finally found the reason(s). The first problem was that I had added another context.clearRect(). Because of this problem, I had completely erased all red cars from showing themselves, leaving a hole gaping hole where they would've been found. Now once fixing that problem, everything should be fine right? Wrong. I had accidentally forgot to include context.beginPath() meaning that while now there were the proper amount of cars, there was still a lack in diversity. Failing to execute this code causes the former shape to inherit the same characteristics as the latter shape which caused all my cars to become blue (kinda like white wash-). Finally, once that code was added into the correct place, it finally looked like as it should.

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topconfessions · 2 years

Note

Oh the HSH YG info isn't alleged it's from part of YGs trial it's part of the testimony apparently they met several times

Naver

https://ent.sbs.co.kr/news/article.do?article_id=E10010251432&plink=ORI&cooper=NAVER

AKP

https://www.allkpop.com/article/2022/05/yang-hyun-suks-5th-open-trial-reveals-he-first-met-han-seo-hee-as-a-client-and-a-high-end-escort

Interesting.

HSH was too comfortable antagonizing TOPs fans in the manner she did. I am going to put **allegedly** for this but I have a theory that **ALLEGEDLY** Top truly met HSH I.e for escort purposes and also for weed connections. He was never contacting her for regular romantic interests. They were not friends with benefits. Thank you for submitting this cause tbh I don't care if this is true or false but we finally (allegedly, maybe) solved why this entire weed scandal occured in the first place. HSH was a safe escort who masked as a trainee / did sponsor work for trainee placement (which explains why she NEVER once got picked to debut for any group she was put in with all this label hopping. I've seen girls with equal looks to her or uglier / more bizarre looking than her debut so there has to be some reason why). It all makes sense.

The entire scandal with T@P and HSH seemed extremely off in why top would just NOW in his career let some random young heaux fuck it all up for him. This perfectly solves it. I don't know why it never occured to me...but I am starting to think the media globally both America and abroad in Korea grooms us to believe escorts, sugar babies, pay for play and prostitutes are older women or 20s plus women leaning into 30s. She had and has the look of your everyday slightly above average Korean girl from age 19-26. Also I am judging strictly on what T@p has told us through interviews and music that he did run through girls often "dating" around being a player with no real attachments. I know he said on radio star he dated someone for 3-4 years but she was a drunk, but we have to remember that no matter whether we love top or not, celebrities have to fabricate and say things a certain way and top to me always seems like the type to over complicate and embellish simple stories to overprotect himself.

Anyways this solves it to me. Maybe not you guys but to me it's solved.

HSH was an industry floozy he got too comfortable with and made the wrong moves with then got thrown under the bus by surprise. Had T@P never gotten sloppy with her and only treated her as a one time thing or did all this smoking with her elsewhere instead of his house his career would be so different as well as bigbang.

Also top and hsh had too much cold detachment towards each other also while throwing each other under the bus too easily to ever be a real couple or brief friends with benefits. Sis smeared him like he was just a dick appointment and she didn't know him as a person at all so this explains everything. I should have known she was an escort when she called him "weird" as well all the other evidence out there cause anyone who is geniunely aware of who top is above clout knows he's a weird ass person for better and worse. She didn't know shit about him other than he was a massive big bang star.

Solves a lot. Thanks.

0 notes

mypoisonedvine · 4 years

Text

The Perfect Fit | Bucky Barnes x reader (part 2)

(part 1)

summary: after getting fitted by you, bucky’s going to try on the custom-made suits he’s bought. unless he makes his move now, he may not get to see you again, and he can’t let that happen.

word count: 6.5k

warnings: smut!!, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), a little d/s energy, mirror kink, stomach bulge kink, slight pain kink?, creampie kink, pussy spanking, light bondage, bucky being jealous

Bucky had a bone to pick with Tony, which was usually true but this wasn’t work-related for once. It wasn’t hard to find him in the same place he’d seen him last— eating his lunch in the kitchen, with Sam nearby chowing down on lo mein with a spring roll.

“Hey lefty, what’s cracking?” Tony greeted, mouth full but talking loudly anyways.

"I went down to that tailor you recommended—" Bucky began, but Tony was quick to interrupt.

"You went there? Dude, it's a really nice place, you can just call and she'll come to you instead, way more convenient."

"So now you say 'she'?"

Realization dawned on Tony’s expression. "Ahh, I get it. You're not used to a female tailor. Adds a little spice to getting fitted, huh?" he grinned, elbowing Bucky playfully.

Bucky’s throat felt a little dry when he heard that. "Don't tell me that's why you use her…"

"Hey now, I'm not a creep, I use her cause she's the best, and those house calls are great for discretion— you know, being a celebrity and all. The eye candy part is just gravy."

"Gravy candy sounds disgusting," Sam chimed in, missing the point entirely.

"Yeah, well, she mentioned some stuff that sure made you sound like a creep."

"Okay, well, you can't blame me for getting caught staring when I'm surrounded by fucking mirrors. Makes it hard to be stealthy."

"You could try not staring,” Bucky suggested flatly.

"Is that what you did?"

Tony smirked when Bucky failed to reply immediately. "Okay, so it's easier said than done,” Bucky admitted with a frown, “but still, I hope these house calls were strictly professional."

“What’s it to you, man? I think somebody’s jealous,” Tony purred.

“What? No, it’s not that,” Bucky denied.

“You love her,” Tony sing-songed, completely ignoring Bucky. “You looooooove her!”

"You are so immature," Bucky rolled his eyes, even though his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he was blushing.

"No, it's good for you! She's a catch, you're all brooding and stuff— maybe she can melt the Winter Soldier's frozen heart, hm?"

Sam laughed heartily. "Stark, you read too many comic books."

"You're saying you don't wanna see Icy Hot here shoot his shot with my tailor?" Tony asked, turning his attention towards Sam.

Sam pondered that, much to Bucky's dismay. "Depends. How hot is she?"

"Mega," Tony smirked confidently. "Legs for miles, and she wears these skirts that make her ass look—"

"I think I've heard enough," Bucky groaned. "I'm leaving. And don't ask when I'm going to see her again," he instructed, interrupting Tony just as he'd opened his mouth to speak, "because I won’t tell you.”

As Bucky left, he could hear Tony calling out into the hall: “But I’d be such a great wingman!”

Truth be told, Bucky had put off mastering the use of his smartphone. It wasn’t just that new technology made him feel old, but that he knew nobody would be calling or messaging him anyways; if the phone didn’t work, he would spare himself the embarrassment of waiting up for nothing.

But once he knew you were going to call? Suddenly, he was motivated to figure the sucker out.

A few hours later and now all he had to do was stare at it to make sure he wouldn’t miss you. Luckily, you didn’t make him wait too long. He recognized the number and decided to let it ring a few times before picking up, so it would seem like he had other things to do besides talk to you.

“Hello?” Bucky asked when he answered, so it would seem like he had other people calling him besides you.

You introduced yourself so formally that he was a little afraid that all that fun energy between you two would be gone. Thankfully, once he asked what you were calling about, you were back to being cheery and casual again.

“I was just calling to schedule when I could come by with your new suits!” you explained, sounding chipper.

His fingertips were a little tingly just from hearing you talk, nervousness making him antsy (in a weirdly good way). “I know you said it’s a one-person operation,” he responded smarmily, “but I figured you would outsource delivery.”

You scoffed, though it sounded more amused than irritated. “It’s not just delivery, I have to check the fit and make sure everything’s exactly to your liking.”

“Oh, well, I’m free all day tomorrow— and I think you already know my address.” Was it too forward? Too obvious? And why did Bucky spend half the time when he was talking to you second-guessing himself?

“Yes, Stark Tower is a relatively common destination for me. If he doesn’t mind us using it, Tony has a dressing room with plenty of mirrors so you can get a good look. But, I’d be happy to just go up to your quarters if that’s easier.”

He was not at all ready for you to see his room. No way he could clean it enough in the next twelve hours; and even then, lots of the team had made fun of how empty and plain it was, so he knew it would just make you think he was boring.

“I’m sure Tony won’t mind you using his dressing room, but he might mind me using it,” Bucky chuckled.

“Well, if he makes a fuss I’ll be sure to set him straight,” you decided confidently. Somehow, imagining you cursing out Tony was almost hotter than imagining you doing anything else. “Be sure to bring down your dress shoes so you get the full look and everything.”

“Uhhh…” he trailed off as he scratched the back of his head, trying to remember if he owned anything other than combat boots. “Not sure I still have those, to be honest.”

"Okay, you'll need shoes too,” you noted aloud, your voice a little distant; he figured you were writing things down, which was why you sounded distracted. “What size are you?"

"Thirteen."

"I'll bring a selection tomorrow,” you announced firmly. “And socks, of course. And some watches, maybe? And pocket squares."

"Is that it?" he asked sarcastically.

“Oh right, I’m bringing the ties you picked out, too. I’ll throw in some alternates in case your original choices don’t match the way you were hoping.”

“You really are full-service,” he chuckled.

“I get that a lot,” you replied, a hint of coyness to your tone.

There it was again; that jealousy. He hated it because he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop it either. As much as his mind was completely aware that you were an independent, modern woman capable of handling herself, his heart was equally determined to protect you, and spoil you, and do whatever was necessary to make sure you were safe.

Worse, his gut was less innocent. Mine, it demanded, all mine. Nobody else’s.

He pushed it down and just tried to get through the rest of the call without saying something he’d regret. You confirmed the date and time with him, and he tried not to be too aggressive when he said he was looking forward to it.

He hung up his phone and sighed, staring off into space. Now all that was left to do was wait, and be overwhelmed with anxiety. Thankfully, he was good at the second thing.

"So, what do you think?"

I think you look so damn good from every angle. I think I might spend all my money on suits just to be sure I can see you again. I think you need somebody to love you the way you deserve. I think you’d look like an angel waking up in my bed.

You waved your hand in front of his face for a moment, calling his attention back to reality. “Helloooo?”

Drawn out of his trance, Bucky finally looked in the menagerie of mirrors surrounding him and admired his reflection, amazed by the perfect fit of his first suit. The difference in quality between this and something off the rack was beyond apparent. Most of all, your talent was undeniable. "I think it's beautiful."

You smiled proudly. "Of course it is, but do you like how you look in it?"

"Honestly? I feel a bit… out of place. I'm obviously not classy enough for a suit like this."

"Oh, nonsense," you dismissed.

He frowned, convinced this was all flattery. "No, seriously, this is… maybe I should just wear tactical gear to every event."

"Well, you'd still look good, but you're not always a soldier. Sometimes you're only a man. And every man should own a fine suit."

It was much too profound of a thing to say while you casually straightened his jacket, only to pop out from behind his reflection to smile at him in the mirror.

“Let’s get the next one on you,” you decided, helping him lose the jacket but having him move into a private dressing room to switch trousers and shirts. “I put a turtleneck in there instead of just a regular button-up,” you explained through the door as he changed, “in case you wanted to see it that way.”

Once he’d put it on, he stepped back out and you were looking at him so proudly— well, you were looking at your handiwork with pride, really, but he could pretend it was for him and hope actually impress you that much one day.

“I went with a shawl lapel on this one, as opposed to the last one which was notched,” you explained as you traced the line with your finger. “Spoiler: the next one has a peak lapel. But enough about that one: what do you think of this one?”

“This looks like something my friend Sam would wear,” Bucky decided as he looked at himself in the cranberry suit and black turtleneck. The shoes you’d had him try on with this were intricate as well, with subtle stitching in the leather and a shine so immaculate he could almost see a reflection in them.

“Well, is your friend Sam stylish?” you asked.

“He would certainly say so,” he smirked.

“I’m inclined to agree, because you—” you gave him a thorough glance up and down, so thorough in fact that he felt a bit exposed under your gaze, “—look marvelous.”

“Not pretentious?”

“No, no, it works on you,” you assured, “you’ve got the looks for it.”

“And what looks are those?”

“Um… good? Good looks?”

He definitely remembered a time when that seemed like the obvious answer, because he had relied on being good-looking for a lot of things in life, but that felt very far away now. Maybe it was just that people who didn’t know what he’d done could still think he was good looking, but everyone else saw the evil within beginning to leak out the way that he did.

But you knew what he’d done, didn’t you? You had to. You knew Tony, you were here at the Tower… unless you were intentionally not up-to-date on current events, you must have heard of the Winter Soldier.

“Don’t act so surprised,” you huffed, “as if it’s a big secret or something. You’re obviously very attractive.”

Bucky cleared his throat nervously. “Uh, thanks.” He wanted to return the compliment, but thought it might be inappropriate or rude somehow. You broke the silence quickly as you held up two pocket squares in front of him.

“Which of these do you prefer?” you prompted. He selected the solid gold one, making you smile. “I knew you’d pick that one.”

“How?”

“I dunno, just fits you,” you shrugged as you folded it and gently placed it in his pocket. Even through so many layers, your touch on his chest made his heart flutter. Your fingers brushing over his as you slipped a watch onto his wrist was enough to cause palpitations.

He looked better in this ensemble than he expected. This version of himself looked much more likely to be invited to parties than any other version. If only he actually wanted to go to parties.

You put him in the pinstripe suit last, after putting a few pins in the cranberry suit to indicate minor changes you would make later, and stepped back to ponder your work.

"Hm, unbutton those top two buttons for me?" you requested with a raised eyebrow.

I will if you do, he thought to himself, but silently unbuttoned his own shirt anyway.

"I mean, it definitely works like this, but I wanna see you in a tie. And I've got juuuuust the one," you smiled. Soon you were approaching him with a red paisley tie, and helping him button up his shirt and tying the tie for him— you explained something about how it was a unique knot he likely couldn't do himself, but he was too lost in having you so close to notice. It would be so easy to just reach up and grab your waist, pull you into a kiss, finally tell you how bad he wants you.

Well, it would be physically easy, but it would be very scary. Just imagining it had his heart racing.

“I heard from Tony this morning,” you informed him suddenly, slipping the tie around his neck and popping his collar up for him.

“Really? Is he in need of a wardrobe update?”

“Yes, but he hasn’t realized that yet so that wasn’t what he called about.”

He laughed a little at the jab, though it also made him a little worried what secret opinions you held about his own style (or lack thereof).

“We talked about you, actually,” you added.

“O-oh,” Bucky stammered, “uh, he’s not exactly my biggest fan. So whatever he said probably isn’t true.”

“He said that you have a crush on me,” you replied nonchalantly, not even looking up from your work on his tie.

Bucky gulped, and he knew you saw the bob of his Adam’s apple because you were staring right at his neck.

“Like I said, Tony isn’t a very reliable source,” Bucky replied, but his voice cracked in the middle and he cringed internally.

“I’ll write it off as another one of Tony’s off-color jokes then,” you dismissed, perfecting the knot of his tie and stepping back to observe him. He always felt nervous when you looked at him like that, like he couldn’t hide anything from you.

“What… what did you say, when he told you that?” Bucky asked nervously.

“I asked him what he was smoking and if I could have some,” you laughed. “I thought it was totally impossible— and don’t worry, I didn’t tell him that you got hard when I did your inseam.”

Bucky’s throat became dry at the same moment that his palms got clammy.

“I— um, I was just—”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you dismissed quickly, still talking about this all so casually which only made him even more confused, “you’re not the first, it happens.”

“I’m not the first?!”

“Yeah, if anything you were one of the few who didn’t say something creepy about it, which is always appreciated. It’s just a bodily reaction, you can’t control it.”

“Did Tony ever say something creepy?” Bucky pressed, his hands involuntarily tightening into fists— another bodily reaction he couldn’t control.

“You know, Tony said you were really worried that he had been inappropriate with me, or even that he and I had a fling or something,” you added as you stepped back, giving him a quizzical look, “and now it’s sort of sounding like he was right.”

“No, no, it’s not that, I just—”

“Was he right about anything else?” you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

“I was being nosy, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “it’s just that… and I know it’s none of my business, but the idea of him and you… it isn’t a pleasant mental image.”

You laughed a little, in a way that made him feel kind of small. “Why not? You know how he is. Definitely has a wandering eye… and occasionally a wandering hand.”

Bucky winced. “I swear, if he ever put his hands on you, I’ll go find him right now and beat him senseless.”

“What if I wanted him to?”

He nearly saw red, but he knew he had no right to be angry. You were a grown adult and he had no ownership over you… he just sort of wished that he did.

“So it’s true then? You and him…?”

“No, Bucky,” you laughed, “it’s not. Nothing’s ever happened between us. I generally don’t get involved with clients like that.”

“Generally? Is there an exception?”

You chewed your lip, seemingly a little thrown off by his question. “Uh, I mean, no— I’ve never been involved with a client, no, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Why would you say ‘generally’ then?”

“Uh, I guess I just… I wouldn’t want to rule anything out, that’s all. Never say never.”

And for a moment he almost wondered if you were flirting with him. Certainly not, with him having come across as both a jealous hot-head and a bumbling dweeb who pops a boner faster than a randy teenager, but just for a second the way you looked at him was… questionable.

“I mean, who knows,” you continued, “what if, hypothetically, some gorgeous guy walked into my store one night— a sensitive guy, who made me laugh and put up with me rambling about ties for the better part of an hour— and I was supposed to dress him up when all I wanted to do was undress him?”

Your finger started to trail down his chest lightly, tickling his skin through the dress shirt.

“I wouldn’t want to think he was off-limits just because he’s a customer… right?” you asked quietly, looking up at him and biting your lip.

He was afraid to make the wrong move, but he really really hoped this was flirting.

“I don’t think anyone would object to being dressed or undressed by you,” Bucky responded, hoping he could stay neutral until he was sure what you were talking about.

You chewed your lip, looking away as if you were thinking about something.

"I know I certainly haven't. And wouldn't," he added, feeling the need to say something.

You nodded, placing his tie inside his jacket and seeming happy with your work.

“You know, the fit looks great," you announced, "but I’m a little worried that one of the measurements was wrong. Mind if I do your inseam again?”

His throat was dry all of a sudden, but he responded quickly anyways. "Uh, go ahead…"

You looked up at him as you started to sink to your knees, very slowly. That little move looked real good in the mirror behind you. “Last time I did this, there was something getting in the way, made it difficult to know if I was doing it right…”

"M-my apologies," he whispered.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining," you purred as you slowly began to run your fingers up the side of his leg, keeping searing eye contact until his knees felt a little weak.

When your hand reached the top of his inner thigh, the back of it brushed against his balls and he shivered. Delicately, and so excruciatingly slowly, your hand moved higher and gently rubbed his erection through the fabric.

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

It must have been all the anticipation that made it so intense, made shivers run up his spine every time your hand moved over his length, made his toes curl inside the ridiculously fancy shoes you’d put him in.

“I’m gonna take it out now, okay? I promise I won’t measure you here,” you winked.

"You can if you want," he shrugged, deciding now was the time for feigned confidence if there ever was one. “I mean, if you’re worried about fit…”

You bit your lip, and he was proud to see the effect his words had on you. “I’ll be honest, I am a little worried it won’t fit…” You were quick with his belt, but slow with his button and fly, apparently having more fun teasing him. “Fuck, Bucky,” you groaned softly as you took his cock out.

“Don’t look so excited, doll, you’ll give me an ego,” he purred.

“Can’t help it,” you sighed, “looks delicious.”

You licked a long wet stripe up from the bottom all the way to the tip, making a show of licking up the bead of pre-cum before taking his head into your mouth, and Bucky blinked a few times to be sure that this was actually happening.

"Been wanting to do that since I first saw you," you admitted, grinning as you stroked him right beside your face, which only helped to illustrate how big he was compared to you.

"Dirty girl," he praised with a smirk.

Flirting, he wasn’t so good at. Conversation in any form typically stressed him out. But this? This he was still pretty good at. And he’d never wanted it so bad before.

When you took him in your mouth again, you didn’t stop until you started to gag; he couldn’t stop himself from moaning through his teeth when you did it.

"Look up at me, princess," he instructed softly, grinning when you obeyed quickly. "Now look over there at that mirror. Look how good you look on your knees for me, choking on my cock."

You moaned around him when you made eye contact with your own reflection, and it felt so fucking good he almost lost it right then and there. He held your jaw, almost too tightly, and guided you as your head bobbed on his length. Your mouth was so warm he thought he would burn up— and it only got warmer the deeper he managed to get. God, he was so ready to pump his load right into your throat, but he wanted to do so much more to you first.

In one quick motion, he pushed you off of his cock, pulled you up to face him, and flipped you around, holding you to his chest with the metal arm and letting the flesh one start rubbing your thigh. This way, both of you were looking at the mirror in front of you, and he loved watching you gasp and moan as you felt and watched his fingers move higher and higher.

“I think it’s time to find out if you really are ‘full-service’,” he purred right against your ear, making searing eye contact with you in the reflection. “You’ve seen so much of me, but I haven’t seen nearly enough of you yet. Been daydreaming about what you could be hiding under these tight little skirts.”

As he pulled up the plaid-patterned fabric, he saw that you were wearing white, lacy panties and he groaned deeply.

“What are you wearing these for?” he teased, rubbing along the edge but never getting where you wanted— and he knew you were getting desperate, because your hips were starting to buck up into his hand. “Were you expecting something would happen today, sweetheart?”

“I— I was hopeful,” you stammered; instantly, he slapped you right on your barely-covered pussy, just hard enough to make you yelp and squirm in his grasp.

“You’re so shameless,” he chuckled darkly, “and I love it. I just hope this isn’t your usual routine— acting all innocent and batting your eyes so your clients will fuck you.”

“No, I swear, it’s just you, Bucky,” you whimpered, “there’s nobody else, please…”

“Please what? Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to… to touch me more,” you whispered, as if it was a secret and not patently obvious.

He slipped two fingers underneath the thin fabric, finding your clit right away (not difficult at all with how swollen it was) and rubbing it in gentle circles.

“Oh god,” you sighed, “Bucky…”

WIth his hand on your hips, it wasn’t hard at all to push you back into him so he could rub his aching cock against you.

"What material is this skirt made of?"

"It's a silk blend," you answered breathlessly, "about 30% cotton."

"It's soft," he purred before yanking your skirt up higher and pressing his cock against your ass instead, "but not as soft as you."

Next to go was your blouse, which he tore open to the sound of buttons flying every direction and bouncing off of the mirrors and floors.

"Bucky!" you yelped, but he could see your nipples harden through the lacy white bra. If there was any doubt that you had intended to seduce him today, the matching undergarments dispelled it.

After teasing your nipples between his fingers for a moment, he reached back down between your legs— and when his fingers slipped through your folds and moved down to your opening, he actually moaned just from how wet you are.

"Fucking hell," he growled, "you are drenched, princess. You liked sucking me off that much?"

"Not just that," you clarified, "you look really good in my suits."

He gave you a toothy smile in the mirror, using it to nibble on your ear a bit. "You deserve most of the credit for that," he purred.

"No, no, I don't," you whined, "you'd look sexy in a paper bag, honestly… you turn me on so much, Bucky."

“Did you… think about me? After I left your shop the other night?” he asked playfully, already foreseeing your answer from the way your thighs clenched and your lips let out the subtlest gasp.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“You’re smart enough to know I want you to be more specific than that,” he chuckled.

“I thought about you that night… after I got into bed…” you elaborated slowly, clearly distracted by the way he was moving his fingers: delicately, but with obvious intentionality. “I thought about what it would’ve been like if you had grabbed me and kissed me, shoved me against the wall, fucked me right there on my desk… in front of the glass wall, where anyone could’ve walked by and seen you claim me…”

His cock was throbbing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the image itself or from the knowledge that you’d been fantasizing about it. “Were you touching yourself?” he growled.

“Yes,” you sighed, your thighs starting to visibly shake, your knees bending towards each other in the mirror.

“Show me how,” he demanded. “Show me exactly how you were playing with your needy little pussy while you thought about me.”

Your hand found its place on top of his, your fingers starting to move his to the specific place, guiding his movements to be faster and rougher.

“Oh, I see,” he grinned, “you don’t like to tease yourself, do you? You like to jump right into it, come as many times as you can and rub yourself raw in the process?”

You nodded feverishly, panting and whining and writhing in his grasp.

“You’re so desperate, honey… such a shameless cockwhore for me.”

“For you,” you repeated through your trance, “Bucky, ‘m close… keep touching me, please…”

He kept his thumb on your clit but gently slid one finger inside you, both of you gasping at the sensation (if for different reasons).

“So tight,” he hissed, already pulling it back out, “fuck, and just for one finger…”

“More, please,” you begged mindlessly.

“More? Sure you can take it?”

You bit down on your lip as you nodded, and he pushed a second finger in beside his first. He felt you struggling with it, both in your walls and in the way you winced a little, but you softly begged him to keep going so of course he couldn’t stop. You adjusted quickly, your wetness starting to run down his hand.

“Fuck me,” you whimpered, “now, please, can’t wait anymore.”

“Yes you can,” he encouraged, “and you will, cause I need to taste you first.”

Pulling his fingers out of you, he flipped you around again, finally kissing you the way he’d been dreaming of since he first saw you. It was intense but not too dominating— in spite of everything. It was a romantic sort of kiss, maybe too romantic for the situation (that being his cock out and hard and pressed against you, and his fingers covered in your arousal) but perfect nonetheless.

“That’s not what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to taste me,” you giggled when he pulled away.

“No, I meant it the other way,” he smiled, “I just wanted to do that first.”

He picked you up suddenly, making you gasp a bit, but knelt down to lay you on the floor pretty soon after. You looked up at him with wide eyes as he lifted your leg and kissed his way up. He could smell your need, and he worried it would drive him wild before he reached his destination.

Pulling your soaked panties aside, he realized he could probably come just from looking at you. “Such a gorgeous pussy,” he growled his praise, leaning down to plant a few more teasing kisses over the inside of your thighs. Finally, he started with one long lick, just like you had with him, but you weren’t so patient to tolerate it. Nearly instantly your fingers pulled his hair, clearly trying to guide him to tease you less, but he couldn’t be swayed to go easy on you.

“I hope you’re not forgetting who’s in charge,” he smiled hungrily.

“And what if I am?” you returned, clearly looking to get on his nerves so he’d get rough with you. He was happy to oblige.

Bucky sat up and loosened his tie, slipping it off of his neck with a smirk. "Now, this is 100% Venetian silk, so it should feel nice around your wrists," he cooed. You offered your hands willingly, and he got a chance to show off a few complex knots of his own. "Now be a good girl and keep those hands above your head, alright?"

You did as he asked, freeing him to hold your legs open as he devoured you, alternating between teasing your bud with the tip of his tongue, and fucking you with it.

"You taste like heaven, doll," he growled when he came up quickly, "and the way you moan when my tongue's inside you? I swear I could die happy right now."

"I wish you wouldn't though," you whimpered.

He laughed a bit before he got back to it, letting his tongue focus on your clit while he filled you with his fingers again. Your walls clenched down on him occasionally, and when it became more frequent just as your moans became louder, he knew you were close.

"Stop, stop," you sighed suddenly, pushing him away.

"Are you alright?" he asked, nervous he'd done something wrong.

"No I'm fine, I just… I don't want to come yet. I want you inside me first."

"And what about what I want, hm? What if I want to watch you come just from my tongue?" he offered instead, though he was definitely still very persuadable in this regard.

"I know you wanna fuck me, Bucky, don't make me wait any longer,” you moaned, your back arching up a little from the floor.

Not needing to be told twice, he flipped you onto your elbows and knees, making sure you could support yourself with bound wrists before letting you go. His hands running over your exposed ass and thighs made you shiver, and he smiled down at you. At this point, he was probably more desperate than you were, but he was doing a much better job of hiding it, even taking the time to reach up and undo a few of the buttons of his shirt, because wow suits are warm and not meant for his level of physical activity.

Still, he figured he had waited long enough— he needed to fuck you while he still had at least a shred of patience left. He was going to need it if he was going to give you time to adjust to him.

Holding his cock and rubbing it through your folds, he chuckled when you whined and dropped your head down in a pout. He loved watching your expression shift into a gasp as he pushed in.

He went slow, but he didn't stop either. He wanted to test you just a little. He wanted to stretch you open.

"Fuck," you cried, "god, you're so… you feel so…"

"Look in the mirror," he instructed coldly, although the coldness was just a front for the way he was holding himself back as your body swallowed him so beautifully.

You moaned again, higher-pitched and weak, just as he finally got all the way in. He waited until he felt your body relax a bit before he asked if it was okay for him to move yet. You answered with a quick nod, a breathy "please," and he didn't need any more encouragement.

It was probably too fast to start off with, but god, he'd been waiting so long to fuck you like this.

"Baby," he whispered, "you're so perfect."

He held you steady and thrusted deep, so deep that it made you gasp each time. You looked incredible, and you felt incredible, but the way you sounded was just… divine. He could never have imagined the beautiful way you would sound when he was bringing you pleasure like this. Having heard it, he wanted to make you sound like this as often as possible from now on. Technically he couldn’t even be sure he’d get another chance to, but surely sounds this perfect meant you had to be having a good time, right? Ideally a good enough time to call him again?

He was snapped back to focus when he saw your eyes flutter shut with pleasure.

"Don't look away from that mirror, honey," he growled, "don't close your eyes. Look how pretty you look like this."

He could tell you loved it from the way your channel fluttered and flexed.

"You like watching yourself get fucked, princess?"

"Yes," you sobbed as he grabbed your hips harder, hoping to leave a bruise, "it feels so good, Bucky, please don't stop!"

"I won't stop, pretty girl. Not until you cream on my cock," he grunted.

"Fuck, I'm close," you whined, "Bucky, I'm gonna come— oh god right there!"

And he was sure it couldn’t be fake from the way your body tightened and released so many times, the way you quivered and your breathing seemed to stop for a moment. Even though he could barely take it, he kept fucking you through it until you were shaking so violently that he worried about your health.

“You feel so goddamn good when you come, princess,” he moaned softly. “Tryin’ to milk my cock for all it’s worth, aren’t you?”

You laughed a little, sounding exhausted, but as he kept fucking you he could feel how sensitive you had become. When he reached down to push your skirt back up to your waist after it had started to fall down a bit, he felt his own movements in your gut and it took so much not to lose his cool in that moment. Instead, he pulled your upper body into his so that you could see in the mirror the way your lower stomach was bulging a bit each time he pushed in all the way.

"F-fuck, Bucky," you whimpered.

"Anybody ever been that deep inside you before?"

"No, not even close," you moaned.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked gently, kissing up and down your neck slowly to match his lazy, teasing thrusts.

"A little," you admitted, "but it feels good. Don't stop."

He wasn’t so brutal with his thrusts, still deep but with a patient, measured pace. It staved off his orgasm a bit longer, and it made you moan all slow and throaty which was not better or worse than the needy, high-pitched moans, but enjoyably different. You didn’t sound as desperate anymore (probably because you’d already come), instead seeming relaxed and calm— if still arching your back and biting your lip nonetheless.

"I wanna come inside you," he whispered right against your ear; he could feel the way you shivered as a result.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Is that what you want? Wanna be full of my come?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, please Bucky I need it so bad!"

"Fuck, gonna fill you up so good, doll," he promised gruffly. "Want me to make you mine, beautiful?"

He knew it was a risky thing to say, but his risks had paid off so far, and he wasn't in his most cautious mood.

"Already yours, Bucky," you sighed, "I'm yours, please come in me…"

It hit him suddenly when you said that, and harder than he expected. He hadn't come like that in… he hadn't come like that ever. He preferred not to think about the sudden, wavering moan he let out in that moment because he wondered if it sounded unsexy, but thankfully his mind was distracted by the overwhelming sensation of his softening, sensitive cock still within you.

He managed to maneuver you in the way he needed as he pulled out, leaning you back into him and holding your legs open to the mirror in front of you.

"Look in the mirror, sweetheart,” he instructed, his whisper a little labored as he was still catching his breath, “watch my come leak outta your pussy."

You seemed to be in awe of it, despite it being the obvious outcome of what had just happened. To be fair, he was in awe of it in a sense, too; a thick, slow stream of sticky white come dripping down from your swollen hole and onto the floor… it was mesmerizing.

Your body was limp in his arms as he finally allowed you to rest, your eyes falling shut as you melted into his embrace. He took a moment to untie your wrists, tossing the garment aside with an exhausted sigh. “Bucky…” you mumbled sleepily, apparently just to say his name.

“Was that… sort of what you were hoping for today?” he asked softly, kissing your temple.

“And more,” you giggled. “Oh my god, I… I don’t even know how to describe that… you’re so… fuck, I don’t know, my brain is totally jelly right now.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way.”

He smiled, admiring your vacant-yet-pleased expression and feeling satisfied with his work. You turned over to lay your head on his chest, and he gladly draped his arms around you in response. Holding you like this felt so purely right, in a way so few things did to him. Funny enough, even just having fucked you on the floor and already holding you afterwards right now, he felt nervous again that he would say something wrong. You were a modern woman, after all, and maybe this was this ‘hook-up culture’ he kept hearing about.

“Was that true what you said, doll?” he asked gently, feeling you stir a little and slide a leg up to rest over his. “Did you mean it when you said that you were mine? Or was it just, you know, the heat of the moment…?”

You smiled a little, looking kind of embarrassed. “Um, yeah, I meant that… I’m yours, if you want me to be.”

He didn’t feel as guilty for feeling so possessive over you now. Clearly it was appreciated, in the right context. And he was now at least 75% sure that this wasn’t a hook-up. “Well, I’m yours, too,” he replied with a soft laugh, “whether you want me or not.”

“I want you,” you confirmed.

You laid in silence together for some unknowable amount of time, but it was a purely unawkward silence. A peaceful silence, and one filled with possibilities, but not uncomfortable. Maybe it was uncomfortable in the sense that the carpet, while still being very plushy and expensive, was still the floor and not as forgiving as a bed… but it was completely worth it.

Part of him feared to ruin the moment by speaking, but much more of him feared that you would slip out of his grasp if he didn’t say something. "This may be the wrong time to ask this— or maybe just the wrong order to do this stuff in— but I wanted to ask if you'd like to join me for dinner sometime."

You laughed, but cuddled deeper into his chest. "Um, yeah, that would be nice."

"I just hope I'll find something nice to wear," he grinned.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes headcanons #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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amarriageoftrueminds · 3 years

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Now now, we all know how Bucky's been in love with Steve (and known about his feelings) his whole life, but what about Steve? I've always swayed towards the theory 'Steve's been in love with Bucky his whole life as well, he only realised after Bucky fell from the train', but what if Steve's known he's in love with Bucky since their Brooklyn days? That would shed an entirely different light on his interactions with Miss Nazis Hirer and the whole 'right partner' talk

Going by canon, I think there must've been either: a declaration of mutual feelings, or; the first foray into a sexual relationship in their late teens, because one of Bucky's trigger words was 'seventeen', and Steve said he felt like a 16 year old again when he heard Bucky's name.

What's interesting is, at that time, and especially in that place*, there wasn't the idea that gay sex acts made you gay, because there were loads of 'straight' men around (eg. sailors.) going with other men just for sex. This was pre pill, pre sex-before-marriage for most, especially for Catholics like Steve.

So it might be that Bucky and Steve were doing the do with each other looong before either of them came to the realisation that they were also, coincidentally, in love.

I agree that Bucky, simply because he's exposed to dating women more than Steve is, has more of an opportunity to Realise before Steve. He'd have the benefit of being able to contrast his experience of feelings with Steve, with his experience of feelings for others, leading him to a lightbulb moment.

And he'd cover this up (and keep up the pretense of believing both he and Steve are really straight) by going out with girls in the meantime; in a period-appropriate gentlemanly way, not bedding them. Also to protect him and Steve from any potentially dangerous accusations.

I don't see Steve as not knowing precisely that he is in love with Bucky; I think he knew before the events of CATFA started, and it was a big part of his motivation for wanting to go to war.

But I do think it hadn't occurred to Steve that he might only be attracted to Bucky / men until after he got serum -- because, before then, his health would've been a limiting factor.

Before then, I can see him thinking 'well it's no wonder I have no libido like Bucky does around women, I'm just too unwell!' and not connecting the dots.

This would explain why he seems so panicked when sexual situations arise with women, after the serum; because he's realising 'oh shit! actually, I don't even like this when I have Perfect Health!' and hastily trying to backpedal himself out of an unwanted situation.

My HC is both of them thinking they're the only male-attracted one in the relationship and they're just engaging in sex acts together for convenience' sake but the other one's only going to keep doing it until he can get a girl.

So when Steve shows up all heterosexual-passing, looking like he can get any girl he wants, Bucky looks devastated because he thinks that signals the end of his physical (in his head unrequited romantic) relationship with Steve.

(But then between Peggy showing up and he and Steve going to the Continent together with the Howlies, Bucky mysteriously seems to perk up!)

By which point Steve, with his strong moral instincts and anti-Fascism, has come to the conclusion that if he's a physically perfect man, and he's still in love with and attracted to Bucky, then there must by definition be nothing wrong with feeling physically attracted to Bucky.

IDK if it makes it better or worse to imagine that they finally confessed to each other before the fall?

Maybe it'd be nice if they saved that for Post-WS, especially since Bucky might be then in even more doubt as to Steve's feelings for him. It's a common choice in fic for a reason!

There are two ways to read the 'right partner' talk Steve has with Peggy.

One is:

Steve's a straight man acting like an incel and attempting to pull pick-up artist tricks on Peggy which don't work, because she's not interested in him, and so doesn't take the bait (we only don't notice he's being a creep because Cevans and HA play it as benign, and because the writers, being themselves douchebags, don't realise what they've written; and probably wouldn't care even if they did.)

Two is: (particularly egregious if you flip the genders and imagine a woman saying this to a man)

Steve going out of his way to make it clear that he doesn't want to date, isn't interested in dating right now, while there's a war on, and finds women terrifying.

And yet as soon as he's fuckable, Peggy pulls a 180 and starts claiming she always liked him as he was, despite the fact that her actions directly disprove this; she didn’t ask him out when she had the chance and the encouragement.

Naturally, her arrogance leads her to the immediate assumption that if Steve is waiting for The One, then she must be the One to whom he was referring.

The fact that his wording either means he’s already found the One and is waiting for them, OR that he hasn’t met them yet, both exclude her from the running (since he’s known her a week) is... immaterial. She never asks if he has his eye on someone, does she? Would Steve being already married stop her?

(You don’t say ‘I don’t want to date because I’m waiting for the One’ to the person who IS the One, or whom you suspect may be the One. This ain’t rocket science!)

And hey, did you notice, that Peggy is just so important and special and perfect that her sudden interest in Steve means that Steve's stated wishes are now irrelevant?

The staggering hubris of waltzing up to him to go ‘hey, by the way, one day... when all this is over... I will allow you to date me.’ 😘😌

Too bad he didn’t ask!

The fact that Steve explicitly told her he isn't interested in dating and didn’t specify he’d be interested in her is invalidated by his new looks and her desire.

Sheesh. These Carter girls sure are rapey as hell.

(Also, in characteristic NOT-A-FEMINIST Peggy Style, the first thing she does upon seeing Big Steve is yank a t shirt out of the hands of a waiting nurse, because Saint Poppins is apparently so good at everything without training or experience that she can do nursing better than an actual nurse, too? (Could be she's also being characteristically territorial, pissing a circle round her chosen prey.) While simultaneously, out of nowhere, affecting a dumb ‘oh I’m so soft-and-feminine’ voice she didn’t have before?? Does that sounds like someone Steve ‘son of a nurse’ Rogers would admire? UGH.)

The irony of all this is ^ you can read Steve as 100% gay and not have to change a single piece of his characterisation or interactions with women at any point.

I've touched on this in other asks, but:

He never asks Peggy out when he has the opportunity; only when he knows it's too late and he won't be expected to follow through (due to him being dead.)

He never makes a move on any of the chorus girls or his female fans (no matter what those creeps M&M claim). Or Private Lorraine. Or Nat. He has to be nagged to make one on Sharon (while Peggy's body's barely had time to cool, and looks fine about never seeing her again lol!) But he goes out of his way to befriend Sam, and waay out of his way to get Bucky back.

Throughout all his films he's consistently assaulted by women, even friends, and never looks happy about it; he also never looks upset when he's rejected or cut off from women love interests, or when he's able to dodge flirting (by, eg. jumping out of a frickin' plane!?)

It's 'his choice', in his own words.

He seems his happiest with women in platonic situations, and only sad about them when it's a question of a shirked duty, a bereavement, or him feeling he's let them down; eg. when Nat dies, when his mother dies, when he's unable to deliver a promised dance to Peggy, etc.

(But it makes people uncomfortable to address this since many of his fans are female.)

But even marrying a woman (albeit the most OOC choice it's physically possible for a Captain America to make, not to mention that it involves abandoning our-Bucky alone in the future). It doesn't preclude Steve from being gay, since lavender marriages were hella common (doubly so for famous gay men).

He could be gay and still in a relationship with Bucky, and married to Peggy. I mean, he's guaranteed a wife who'll spend most of the time away at work, able to use her connections to squash any inconvenient press; and unable to out him or Bucky without ruining her own prestige. Perfect!

Still makes EG Steve a douchebag tho. 😒

*we know they frequented north Brooklyn, because Steve said 'I know this neighborhood!' while the Brooklyn Bridge was in sight behind him; but, they got the street angle wrong, cuz they made it look like the BKB has a street which looks right at it, when in fact the street with that famous view is of the Manhattan Bridge. The places Steve describes being beat up; a parking lot, alleyway, and diner, are also all places you'd go while you're Out, rather than where you live. So IMO Steve and Bucky lived somewhere near DUMBO, but not so far east that their view was of the Manhattan Bridge; either Brooklyn Heights or Downtown. So that puts them right in the heart of Gay Brooklyn (as in, Truman Capote had a house there, because Walt Whitman wrote a famous poem about there; that level of gay), next to the Navy Yard and Sands Street (gay cruising central) and they also frequented gay cruising mecca Coney Island (big burlesque hot spot).

#mcu meta #antipeggy #toAyourQ #hey nonny #steve meta #bucky meta #p*ggy meta #anti st*ggy #endgame steve is a skrull #antiendgame #dat's me #bucky barnes #meta #mcu #yet each man queues the thing he loves

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lily-janus · 2 years

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Hi there! So in honor of Aromantic awareness week, I thought I'll share here how I found out, my coming out story essentially.

So I'm actually not really sure where exactly I knew this term from, but I kinda knew about asexuality and aromantisisem in general, I think mainly from Bojack Horseman, but I didn't payed it much attention, let alone related it to myself. It was more like, at the back of my mind.

I never really had a crush or felt that way towards other people, but I subconsciously told myself it's just because I haven't found 'the one' yet or maybe because I'm not old enough, surely it'll happen by the time I'm 18.

And then I started nearing 18 and realized... there's still nothing. That's when I began to wonder if maybe I am interested in someone and just didn't realize it so every time I was with one of my guy friends, I wondered if I have romantic feeling for them.

At some point, after many of people in our grade kept asking if we're a couple, I decided to ask out one of my closest friends since I really did felt deeply connected with him and thought that maybe that was it. Long story short, he agreed but nothing really changed between us and at the end we both realized that what we have with each other is nothing else than platonic and we 'broke up' kind of.

My bff seemed to agree with me everytime I brought up the subject with her and one day I suggested to her the aromantic term, still not relating it to myself in the slightest, and she seemed to agree for a while as she started to figure herself out. But a while after she realized that's not right for her and that she does get crushes and really really wants a romantic relationship someday with a special someone (I know you can be aro and still have crushes and want relationships I'm just saying she decided the label is not fit for her, not trying to invalidate anyone, sorry if I did in some way).

So after that conversation, a few weeks after when we entered our first quarantine, I got curious and decided to research the term on Google for a bit, just to get a better understanding.

And oh boy, did I so not expect all the things I read to call me out so accurately, I can still remember how it felt, everything just falling into place and, for a moment, I was very relieved. Since I was already 18 and still I felt nothing of what everyone expected me to feel and I was seriously starting to freak out and thinking there's something wrong and- but no, apparently I'm not the only one and there's a label for it and it's a thing that exist and I'm totally fine.

But then my relief turned into sadness and regret and... jealousy. I'm... not like everyone else... I won't fall in love... I won't have those perfect and happy relationships I keep reading about and seeing in my favorite shows. And... I felt like I lost something... that I was missing out and... what if I can't be truly happy without it? Because my entire life I've been taught that you can't possibly be happy without a romantic partner, you need someone to complete you and turn you whole so... does that mean I'll have a missing piece my entire life?

I went down this spiral for a couple of weeks, feeling a physical pain in my heart everytime I saw anything concerning romance, feeling as though the entire world just rubs it in my face.

It took me quite a long time of self reflection and conversations with my bff to come to terms with my identity. I eventually realized that, I have nothing to be jealous about because all those romantic things are not something I want and not something I really felt the need to have, moreover, I'm happy just the way that I already am, I love my friends and family and I love myself and I don't need anything 'more'. And really, dating seemed really complicated and confusing and full of drama that I eventually felt relieved I don't need to deal with it.

So now that I finally came to terms with who I really am, I naturally wanted to tell the ones closest to me about my new discovery. My friends took it well, asked questions to better understand and were pretty chill about it overall.

My parents, however, didn't really took it well.

In full honesty, I didn't plan to tell them at all at first, it sort of slipped out during dinner once. My mom was rambling about this new show she loves and how she loves the main couple there. So of course, my aromantic brain had to jump in and complain that there's romance in almost every show and that it gives off the idea that's the only thing that matters at the end of the day. Long story short, we started arguing until I blurted that there are people out there who are not interested in romance and that... I'm one of them actually. So then they started saying that all my friends will eventually find a partner and get married and I'll be all alone and yada yada yada all that aphobic stuff.

And that's it, I still struggle with my identity from time to time, being aroace in this society is not easy. And my parents are getting more used to my identity by the day.

Happy aromantic awareness week everyone! You are all valid no matter how you identify! I love you all❤

#aro #aromantic #aroace #aromantic awareness week #coming out story #tw aphobia #rent #original

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ladycatland · 3 years

Note

Rant time!

You know, I've been thinking it for a while, but fanon c!Dream is straight up boring.

And you know that c!Dream is one of my favourite characters usually, but... man. The idea that he needs to be sympathetic or justified in what he did to be enjoyed just sucks out all the fun for me!

It like trying to give sympathetic reasons to Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. Why would you do it? They are both chaotic assholes who hurt others for fun, why is it this hard to enjoy them as such?

Like... man...

I sometimes see takes that are like: "but c!Dream did everything for a good goal, he was trying to bring the server together" and I'm just sitting here wondering if we even watched the same streams.

Like, yeah, he WAS planning to bring everyone together, after kidnapping c!Tommy and killing c!Tubbo, but he wasn't planning to do so in any way that's considerable "good". He was literally planning to blackmail everyone into obedience. How is that a good or noble goal? Since when wanting absolute control over people was a good thing?

And some of this people are the same who'll call c!Wilbur or c!Tubbo a "dictator" and they really don't see the irony there.

And the big issue I have with this is when people try to use this reasoning to justify exile, because it doesn't even make any sense. How did abusing a teen further the goal of bringing a server together? Seriously, how did kidnapping and abusing c!Tommy to the point of him becoming actively suicidal help anything? It only motivated c!Tommy in wanting to bring him down more, which, good for c!Tommy, he deserved to murder a bitch, but still! How does that help for unity?

Oh absolutely.

Though, while I don't really like fanon Dream either and find him boring, the concept is... Interesting? Well, it's definitely interesting it's just not as new and unexplored as what we actually get with many characters in canon.

Someone, who apparently holds a position of authority and power by nature, with no inherent malicious goals or anything, just the normal amount of imperfect morality; being challenged on the grounds of the duality between his inherent power and his inherent flaws, becoming defensive and over time becoming more and more removed from his own humanity and morals? Maybe his morals didn't even change, maybe he was always willing to do the things he ended up doing and what changed is his judgement on when these actions are warranted?

And if you've managed to follow my thoughts you might have noticed how fanon Dream easily turned into what a lot of us consider canon Dream. Because in my opinion, those two aren't that different. Fanon Dream might (mostly) be how canon Dream saw the entire conflict at some point in time. I don't like throwing around medical terms because I don't like perpetuating any wrong stereotyped and all that jazz, but I can't start studying psychology so I'll kinda have to, so please excuse me when I say this but. Dream is delusional.

Nowadays he's separated himself from his own humanity to such an extreme that, yeah, he's not gonna see himself as the victim, but also. Such things change and we legitimately don't know how he was thinking before. Well... Exile? I guess? We don't know how much of his godcomplex is this showmanship against himself similar to how Wilbur often fooled himself into thinking that he was thinking a certain way. We don't know how much of the way he acts is performance especially if the audience might be himself.

I like to think that most fanon works are legitimately just his delusional daydreams in a time when he was still maybe grappling with the knowledge of his actions. Because I like to imagine that there was an internal conflict that he resolved with his godcomplex.

That when he took a breather and re-evaluated his own actions, he found a way to justify it in his head to keep him going for a bit more and the longer he went down the road, the less he could justify his actions and the more he had to justify that with just. Distancing himself from... Well... Humanity, morality... All of that.

I hope I'm making sense here? Fanon Dream is such a microcosm of the complexity that canon Dream likely is and yeah that's usually disappointing but also. Sometimes we have 10 minutes of absolute simplicity.

Usually I know that I'm a complex human person, in a world that wasn't created In a specific way to fit the shapes humanity moves in, that date both exists and also doesn't and that life just is. And sometimes I just lie down, know that I'm an utter failure and that's it. And then after those 10 minutes are over I once again have the energy to know that I wasn't born with a purpose given to me because there is nothing with the authority and power to give me a purpose and that that is both absolute meaninglessness and absolute freedom.

So yeah, dream apologism fanfics are dreams way of coping with depression or whatever that is when his brain doesn't have the energy for keeping up his godcomplex. Mayhaps.

Holy shit i gotta Sound pretentious as fuck

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Black Magic" *Part 4*

Whoooooo! Okay alright here's 4, I don't know if I can get 5 up tonight but at least you'll have the whole "day". [you'll see]

YA'LL enjoy this because....it's gonna come crashing down. I'm so sorry. Maybe I should leave it here tonight. Yeah I might.

Also-- WINK! When you see it you'll know. 😉

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

Part 3

Part 5

-----------------------------

“Well!” he wiped tears away from his face and then yours before he gathered up your trash and threw it away. “ I think that's quite enough of the melodramatic stories today. Now it's time to show you my favorite place,”

He took your hands and let you further deeper into the park. You had never been this deep into Central Park before you don't think you'd ever actually been in Central Park, you've just passed it. You were kind of a shit New Yorker.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he pulled you faster down some steps until you reached what you could only describe as a “Cave”.

“You'll see,” he smiled as you approached the cave. You both walked inside and before you was something you never thought you'd see.

“Oh my god…” You said breathlessly. Are those…?”

“Penguins” You heard a smile in his voice as you stared. In front of you with a long glass tank encased in the stone. It was full of happy, smiling, swimming, penguins.

“How... why….why is this here?”

“Well the zoo is right next door.” He explained. “And they accidentally made the penguin exhibit about a foot outside of the zoo's zoning area. So, while it is technically part of the Central Park Zoo, this one area is completely free to the public. It beats paying $50.” He laughed.

“Penguins are my favorite,” you said softly as you just continued to stare at them. It was true. You loved penguins since you were a little girl and you had no idea why. They were just so cute.

“Mine too,” he smiled, taking his arms and pulling you into his chest from behind. They look so happy. And they're in little tuxedos. Which I highly approve of,” He joked. You giggled in response.

“I like to come here when I've had a really long day or a really bad day in court.” He continued to explain. “And just sit here and watch them; and imagine how much more enjoyable life would be as a penguin. Look at them they're so happy and carefree, not a worry in the world.”

“God wouldn’t that be nice,” You sighed. “No rent, no bills, no annoying job.” you have laughed, giving him a nudge

“And.. They are also monogamous,” He stopped laughing and turned you to face him.

“What?” You stopped laughing as well, giving him a stunned expression.

“Did you know that when a male penguin fancies a girl penguin he will look everywhere until he finds the perfect rock or pebble as an offering to said female. And if she accepts it, then they're together until they die.”

“So.. basically like an engagement ring,” You whispered. Oh god.. what was happening?

“Yeah I guess so they get engaged and married. Without the wedding of course.” He nodded.

“Can you imagine that? I mean they’d be pretty prepared already in their little tuxedos” you laughed, hopefully trying to change the subject getting away from marriage although you didn't really know how. “Rafael…”

Okay surely even if he was under this spell, was there kind of some kind of backstory? Did he think you had been together for a very long time? There's no way he was going to propose after one day was he?

“Don't worry carino, I'm not proposing. He laughed, noticing the panic in your eyes. "I'm not that crazy.”

“Right you laughed and nodded your head. “Of course. Because we've only known each other so shortly….?” You tried to ask in a leading way.

“Right. But if we're being totally honest,” he took your hands. “I think I fell in love with you the moment you walked in the door on your first day.”

You silently gasped.. Could that be true? Was that him making that up in his head? Did he have memories before today? Did he have real memories before today? How far did this thing go? Could he actually really be saying that? Your mind started swimming.

“I..” You looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity. Obviously it was there but you didn't know if it was fabricated or real. But any real form of sincerity was moot at this point. Right?

“Really?” Was all you could say back.

“Yeah,” he smiled while he stroked your hair. “Really,”

That was it you couldn't take this anymore. You Broke down crying once again, and threw your arms around him. You were holding him so tightly, as if he was going to disappear in front of your eyes any second.

“Please Don't leave me, you sobbed. “Please don't leave me,”

“Hey hey hey,” He took your arms and pulled you over to a bench in the cave. Then he sat you down and put both hands on your shoulders.” I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Never,”

“You can't say that,” You sobbed. You completely threw any thoughts of keeping this under wraps out the window.

"Why not?” He looked at you quizzically.

“Because….because this isn't real!!” You kept sobbing.

“What…? Baby you have to calm down,” He started getting really concerned.

“I….” You tried to find the words to explain it without sounding crazy. Then you realized it didn't matter.

“I...my roommate Chloe she's a...well she, she made this...stuff, that I put in your coffee yesterday and it made you think you're in love with me.” You realized you had said explanation a little too loudly, as the very few other people that were in the cave with you gave you strange looks and started to walk away. You looked at Rafael who was just staring at you in disbelief and confusion.

“What are you talking about?” He half laughed. Baby look I don't know what you think you did. But if you're talking about what I think you're talking about--- magic isn't real.”

“Yes it is!” You continued to sob. “I didn't believe it either. That's why I did it. I thought on the off chance maybe it would work but I didn't really think it worked like this” you gestured between the two of you.

“What, make an actual connection between us? Has anything you said to me today been a lie?”

“No” You started to calm yourself down.

“And I can promise you nothing I have done today has been a lie, or fabricated in any way,” He wiped the tears from your face.

“So again, I don't know what you think you did, but my feelings for you are real. The only magic here is the magic of true love,”

“See who says that?!” you cried angrily. “Nobody says that for real, Rafael. Not unless they're--”

“Under some kind of magic spell?” Rafael asked sarcastically

“This isn't funny!”

“Okay so what you're just saying is that tomorrow I'm going to wake up, and just think you're a normal girl and what? Think today was a fluke?”

“No.. you're not going to remember anything.”

“I really doubt that,”

“It's true! Why do you think I said back at Maria’s that I need you to hold on to this day? I need you to remember this day? I wasn’t just saying that to be cute.”

“Okay well I'm taking you seriously now. I'm committing this day to my memory this entire day even with your nutty little break down here.” He took both of your shoulders and looked at you seriously.

“Because I'm going to prove to you that this is not some kind of magic spell. It's me and you and our real feelings. I told you I fell in love with you the day I met you, that was before today. That was three months ago!”

Could that be true? Could this have just fast forwarded the time that it would have taken you to get here? Is he really going to remember this?

“Okay” was all you could say.

“Okay.” He smiled, pulling you into him again and kissing your forehead while stroking your hair. “I'm never going to forget you Y/N. I could never forget you,”

“Okay,” you repeated, believing him a little more this time.

Rafael glanced at his phone. Oh God it's four fifteen already,”

“So…? Do you turn into a pumpkin at 5?” You joked.

“No but I did promise Olivia that I would drop off some paperwork. Do you mind?”

Oh God you really don't want to face Liv again, at the risk of exposing your secret. But what else could you do?

“Yeah I guess that's fine.” You shrugged.

It definitely was NOT fine.

-----

You walked into the NYPD police station nervously, as if you were a hooker doing a perp walk. You hoped that maybe since Raphael had calmed down maybe Olivia would just think this morning was a joke after all. You hoped he wouldn't say anything.

“Olivia!” He walked over to her desk and still had your hand in his.

“Hey Rafa.. what is this? I thought you weren't dating your intern?” She frowned.

“Oh I'm not ... Apparently I'm under her spell,” He laughed.

Oh my God oh my God oh my God what…. Why was he being so flippant about this? Oh God.

“...Excuse me?” She asked him seriously.

“Did you get her in on this Y/N? Pretend that she has no idea about us?” He asked you while still laughing. You wanted to crawl into a hole.

“I don't have any idea about-- didn't you say this morning that you were kidding?” Olivia looked at you angrily.

“What? I don't remember this morning.” Rafael looked confused.

Oh God maybe it was starting to wear off and then forget-me-nots were working oh God oh God oh god….

“What is wrong with you?” Olivia put both of her hands on her shoulders, then she looked at you. “Did you actually do something to him?

What? No, I didn't do anything!” You cried defensively, hoping she would back off.

“Liv back off she didn't do anything. Magic isn't real. What is wrong with you?” Rafael stood in front of you.

“Then explain how you feel right now???” Olivia crossed her arms.

“What are you talking about? We've been in love for months now!”

Oh shit. Oh GOD.WHAT?

“WHAT?” Olivia almost screamed.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to overeat like this." He gave her a look.

“Oh that is bullshit.” She spat, and then looked at you over his shoulder. “You did something to him and I will damn sure figure out what it is,”

“Liv you need to seriously back off,” Rafael increased the space between the two of you.

Liv nodded, but mouthed to you over his head with a whisper. “I am going to figure out what you did and you're going to pay.”

You gulped and looked at Rafael who was still glaring at Liv. “Look Olivia, you need to get over whatever thing you have for me and just let me be happy.”

That was it! That was why she was so upset about this. She was in love with him too. Oh God. You suddenly wondered how accessible that spell that Chloe did was.

“I.. you.. we…” She stammered. “Here's your warrant,” Rafael tossed some papers at her and walked out the door with your hand in his. You looked back at Liv who was still fuming. That can't be good.

----

“Can you believe the nerve of her?” He scoffed as you walked out.

“Yeah totally,” You laughed nervously.

“I'm sorry about her. She doesn't know when to stop beating a dead horse,” He sighed.

“So you know she's had a thing for you? And you've never had a thing for her?”

“I mean there was a time when we first met that I thought maybe something could happen. But too much time has passed and I don't feel that way about her anymore, but apparently she still does.” He shook his head.

“And besides whatever feelings I thought I had for her went out the window the moment I saw

you,” he smiled, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Oh I mean since this morning,” he teased. But you knew he was right on the money.

“Haha. Can we please not joke about it?” You asked dejectedly.

“I'm sorry carino. Let's go get some dinner huh? Forget about this?”

“Yes please” You smiled.

---

He took you to his favorite restaurant Forlini’s and you two had an amazing dinner laughing, talking and discussing Broadway shows.

"Wait so you saw RENT with the ORIGINAL cast?!"

"Yeah…." He lightly chuckled. "I know, I'm super old."

"Oh I wasn't going to say that at all. I was going to say you are so lucky!!!!” You squealed.

“So you've never seen a show on Broadway?” He asked.

“Well...when I first met Chloe she was working as a PA for one of the directors of a show that had just gone to Broadway. It didn't last very long; it wasn't that great of a show. Except for the leading actor in my opinion,”

“Oh really?” he looked at you curiously. “What show?”

“It was called “Leap Of Faith”, I think? It was based on some movie about some televangelist creep con man, who fell in love with the sheriff and his heart turned to gold or some lame-ass thing like that. You rolled your eyes

“Oh really was it that bad?” he laughed.

“I mean, the songs were good and like I said the leading man Raul Esparza was amazing,” You smiled as you sipped your wine.

“Raul Esparza? You know when I was younger, people used to say that I looked like him.” He chuckled as he sipped his scotch.

“Really?? Nah I don't see it. You're way more handsome,” you smiled.

You continued to have a fabulous dinner so fun and easy, you almost forgot it was all fantasy. Before you knew it, Rafael was walking you to your door.

"Well I had a fabulous 'last’ 24 hours with you mi amor,” Rafael smiled.

“Yeah.. me too,” you said sadly.

“You sure you don't want me to come in?” He asked you with mischievous eyes.

“No, you better not.” You wanted so badly to let him, but you didn't want tomorrow to be jarring for him.

"Oh right I might wake up tomorrow and forget where I am," he teased, tickling you. You laughed while he was doing it, but the pain of really knowing he was right knocked you right back to sadness.

"Well good night beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow" He grinned.

"Yeah…." You smiled sadly thinking "not like this,”

He kissed you gently, but you pulled him in for a deep long passionate kiss, desperately memorizing every detail. His tongue, his mouth, his hands, his smell, his skin on yours.

"Wow, I should be under spells more often he chuckled. He gave you one last small kiss, and you held onto his hands.

"....Baby I'll stay if you want me to, you don't have to be so sad," He stroked your hair and gave you a reassuring smile.

"No…" you shook your head silently chastising yourself. "Let him go," you said mentally.

"No it's ok I'll see you tomorrow" you have him the bravest smile you could.

"Ok. Maybe tomorrow when you see you were being silly I'll sleep over," he winked, walking down the hall.

You slowly shut the door and fell down the floor sobbing.

Chloe came running out of her bedroom to check on you.

"Aw honey…."

"I love him Chloe,” you sobbed. “I didn't know how much or even if I really did before today but I really love him.”

“Oh honey. I can make more right now, even a bigger batch so it'll last longer!” She offered.

NO you shook your head sternly. "That's not fair to him"

"Well….it might be,” She gave you a hopeful look.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on,” She picked you up and dragged you to her room.

She sat you on her bed as she went and pulled an ancient looking book from her shelf. You read the cover: “The Grimoire.”

“I borrowed it from my friend Maggie,” She explained. “Basically it's a master list of spells,”

“And she just let you borrow this?” You gave her a suspicious look.

“I told her it was an emergency.”

“Really?”

“Well! It was. Of the heart. She gets it she’s an empath and a romantic,” She assured you. “Anyway!” She turned to a dog eared page.

“Read” it she instructed.

You read the page: “ ‘Emotion Magnifier’....what is this?”

“It's the spell I used on Rafael.” She smiled.

“...What?”

“It wasn't really a love spell per say,”. She explained. “Those are frowned upon in the witch community. Y'know free will and all,”

“Wait so this didn't mess with his free will?”

“No ma'am! It just magnifies whatever somebody already feels. You just have to zone in on what emotion you want to draw out. So I used amorous feelings on Rafael,”

“So...that means...what exactly…?” You wanted to make sure you understood what she was saying.

“Well since he went so insane this morning, it magnified some already pretty strong feelings for you.” She smiled

“WHAT?!”

Your mind was spinning. Had he really been telling the truth about falling in love with you the moment he saw you? Has this actually just sped up the process of your relationship? Why hasn't he ever said anything? You've never really talked. How was this possible?

"So...what you're saying is…"

"He was clearly already smitten with you darling," She grinned even bigger at you.

"Oh my god….oh my god!!!!" You squealed. Maybe...maybe those feelings would be stronger than any potion, maybe he would remember today.

You went to bed that night with a hopeful heart.

-----

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

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