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liillyliilly · 1 year ago

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I Need A Challenge

ushijima wakatoshi x reader words; 3804 synopsis; she writes a scathing review of ushijima's volleyball skills. how else should he respond if not by inviting her out to dinner?

She was tired of people like him. People who had no reason to be so stereotypically perfect. Everyone knows the type, comically good looking, is a prodigy in their one specific thing, acting so nonchalant that it ends up becoming their token personality trait. It was all so boring to her.

Which is why, as she was taking notes in the most recent Volleyball Nations League game, she wrote down some very harsh words for her analysis of star spiker Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was just the brutally honest truth of the world, she reasoned. Her editor, after reading the article she wrote at the game, almost dropped their jaw in shock at what she had written.

“This is really,” Editor Xhou sucked in some air through his teeth, “This is almost borderline libel material.”

She inspected her nails, shrugging as Xhou kept talking to her.

“I mean, you said that he is, and I quote from your own words, ‘Ushijima is the default setting for a volleyball player, there’s nothing too particularly unique’. You want me to let the paper publish this?” Xhou leans back into his office chair, pushing his glasses up and sighing.

“I write the truth, and the truth is that when Ushijima is on the court, you always know the exact plays he’ll make, the exact moves he’ll execute. The result is consistently the same. The games are too predictable when he plays.” She stands up from the seat opposite to Xhou.

Xhou sets the paper on his desk, checking that she really is okay with the article having her name attached to it.

A thumbs up is the only response she gives to her supervisor.

Xhou stamps the paper with his name, and faxes the documents to the coordinator putting together the sports magazine review for this issue. He wonders if the legal team is going to get involved again, he remembers the last player she reviewed, he was crushed and had to move to Alaska to play in a much smaller league. Xhou fully believes he’s going to get the magazine sued for letting her article fly.

Tendou finishes his squat set, hanging up the weights with a heave. Ushijima finishes his hundredth bicep curl, finally finishing his repetitions of this exercise.

Tendou pokes some fun, “I'm so sad for people without legs, they have to skip leg day.” He muses, trying to see what reaction or comment his best friend will make. Tendou twists and flexes in the full length mirrors lining the gym.

Ushijima only responds with a nod. He checks his phone, only to see that he’s received a little over four hundred notifications and counting. The beeping and noises start to pile up. Tendou peeks over Ushijima’s shoulder and gasps, he steals Ushijima’s phone away and immediately investigates what all the hustle and bustle could be related to.

“You should probably read this article, I think the writer has it out for your throat Wakatoshi.” Tendou grimaces while handing the phone back.

He skims the article, viewing the main talking points and major issues the author brings to light about his play style. His boring, everyday genius playstyle. He’s read criticisms of his volleyball skills before, but this one doesn’t seem too targeted solely about him, just using him as the mechanism to get a broader point across about the lack of challenges in volleyball recently. He chuckles at one of her comments, reading it aloud.

“Monster generation? I need a real challenge from these players, but all they’re giving me is platinum dreams without true passion and anger for the sport. I want them foaming at the mouth with new tricks, but I’m getting the same exact game over and over again.” Tendou cringes as Ushijima reads the words out loud. Ushijima stifles another chuckle.

Ushijima tucks his phone into his pocket, picking up his duffel bag. “I like her. She knows volleyball.”

It wasn’t just her comments, it was also the name of the author that Ushijima liked.

Tendou drops his water bottle in response to Ushijima’s behavior, stunned at the openness of amusement he has for the article and for the investment he has for this particular reporter.

Ushijima’s manager says that she’ll have a cease and desist letter issued to the paper for publishing such a slanderous piece. Ushijima proposes an entirely different solution.

She didn’t expect to be sitting at a restaurant, pencil and paper in hand, waiting for someone she just dragged through the mud to arrive so they could share a meal and an interview.

It was winter, and her reading glasses had fogged up slightly in the difference between the outdoors temperature and the warmth of the restaurant. The main features of the restaurant was the Western Style dining choices and decor, it reminded her almost of a hibachi place, but instead of Japanese food it was just a bunch of American and European dishes.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Ushijima pulls out his chair and settles into it, grabbing his glass of water so he can drink from it.

“High school seemed so long ago, but yes it is nice to see you again Wakatoshi. Sorry for the piece, your name just carries the right amount of importance to get my bigger points across.” She crosses her legs, setting her pencil behind her ear. The waiter comes around and takes their orders. He asks for the salmon, and she gets the house soup.

“No, I totally get it. But the statement about how people just continually eat up the single dish I serve? I thought you would’ve found a better analogy for my consistency on the court.” He just smiles at her, watching her move the pencil from behind her ear to her mouth so she could chew on it a little. One of her tells of when she was deeply thinking about how to respond to something.

Ushijima remembers all the stories she would write back in high school, ranging from sports analysis of Shiratorizawa clubs for her journalism extracurricular to getting paid to write love letters from person to person. She garnered enough money to pay for a new laptop and her entire wishlist of stationery items.

He remembers her lending him a pen once during class, it was a weightier metal pen. The ink was so black he was sure it was made of pure darkness. While he admired the pen she went into a rant talking about the pen itself, the quality of it and how it took forever to be delivered to her. They both got chastised by the teacher for having a side conversation and had to sit outside the classroom. But they ended up talking outside the classroom despite being told not to.

“Like you’d know what a good analogy looks like.” She hides her smirk behind a spoonful of soup. Ushijima appreciates her ability to be unapologetic, her honesty and bluntness matching his own linguistic traits.

They talk for three hours, about volleyball, life after high school, the article she wrote, about friends and the situations they found themselves in. Ushijima talks about Tendou and his chocolatier aspirations, she brings up Semi Eita’s new album that actually sounded truly alternative and unique.

He remembers her having a crush on Semi throughout high school. He didn’t really see why she would sit at their practices sometimes, just sighing wistfully, before freezing and turning flustered when Semi tried to make conversation like a normal person. But when Semi was seen to be a slight habitual complainer, she grew a distaste for him. Ushijima was sure that Semi was her longest crush, clocking in at around two months or so.

Ushijima did enjoy that she came to their practices sometimes, because then he could ask her about her pen collection and she would openly, loudly, and enthusiastically layer on every detail she could fit into her remarks. And she was someone who asked him about his favorite things, primarily volleyball but also about reading the advertisements in the Weekly Shonen Jump Magazine. Or about how good a runner’s high could feel sometimes.

Around her, he could share without fear of being misunderstood. She just accepted what she heard, and then analyzed it, taking her time and asking clarifying questions. He did his best to emulate her mannerisms and tact within their conversations, usually failing, but she didn’t mind.

She did openly declare an aversion for him throughout high school, that genius powerhouses should never be entertained with acknowledgement. What others considered harsh from her was almost like beaming encouragement for him. It was like she was telling him, if he didn’t continually improve and advance then the stagnation would leave him in the dust. A push in the right direction was more accurate of why she would say what she did about him.

He takes the bill from her, puts his gold debit card on the clipboard, and returns it to the waiter before she can even open her purse. Rolling her eyes, she sets some bills on the table and slides it over to him. Glaring at him until he accepts the cash and puts the bills into his wallet.

“Are you dating anyone right now?” Ushijima inquires while they walk down the street to get to the train station. The night air leaves a chill around the two of them. He had his hands tucked into his pockets, and she had her arms folded over her body.

Snow falls from the sky, catching the lights and making streaks of color burst in small flickers like fireflies. The piled up snow in the roads hadn’t yet been plowed thoroughly, and wasn’t sullied with pollution that made it yellow and black. The snow was much more like a blanket.

“Listen, I’m what people consider easy to love but hard to please. Most people say they felt like they were never enough for me when we were dating.” She bites on her bottom lip a little. It’s a confusing feeling to be unnerved by him, and she feels even more uneasy when she realizes that she’s speaking too openly. “I don’t intentionally degrade those I date, I just, I have high expectations. I don’t give many second chances.”

His breath comes out in puffs of white, winter nipping at his nose which makes him feel uncomfortable. He wonders if she’s as cold as him. He knew that she had high expectations, none of the boys at their high school got remotely close to being romantically involved with her. She wanted more than what most people could offer. She wanted someone who was as open as her.

She feels a little guilty about her article now. Maybe she pushed the words a little too much on his bad qualities. Ushijima really wasn’t that bad, he was just dependable and rational, which crafted his playstyle of being an ultimate pillar of strength for a team. Why shouldn’t a team go with the most reliable way of scoring points? Then she shooed the thought. If volleyball wanted to keep being popular, it needed to evolve.

“I liked your article a lot.” He offers, segwaying the conversation, knowing her thoughts better than she knew them. “Power goes far, but even then, there’s ceilings that need to be broken. There’s talents that need to be unearthed, planted, and then allowed to bloom.”

They sit on the bench under the covering for the train station. The screen shows that the train she needs to take will come in around ten minutes.

“Thanks. My editor was worried you were going to sue me for what I wrote.” She laughs a little, rubbing her hands against her thighs to build up some lingering heat in her hands and her body.

He passes her his gloves from his jacket pocket. Making a small hum he waves them in front of her. She accepts and embraces the black fleece covering her fingers.

“Oh, no, there’s no way I’d want you to be sued. But I do want you to add another part to the article.” He blows some air onto his hands, rubbing them together. She raises an eyebrow inquisitively, turning towards him on the bench.

Once he had finished reading her piece on Ushijima’s game, he went through and read all her other articles. He found out her favorite current player was actually Hinata Shouyou, the energetic innovator. She had written about his unique approach, due to natural athleticism. Also about his experience in Brazilian beach volleyball making his defense skills unique in the field of both Japanese volleyball and on a global scale. It was all about Hinata this, Hinata that. But could the ultimate decoy ever compare to the pillar of strength?

“What do you want me to change? I can’t make any promises.”

“Say I’m your number one, because I don’t do last place.” Ushijima lifted her chin up, looking right into her eyes. He inspects her face, the small miniscule motions her features display show that she’s listening, actively listening. “Did I ever mention that you’re the only one that has my attention?”

She really was. The only reporter he cared to give quotes to after big games, the only girl who he ever wondered if there was any possibility to develop a relationship with. He was hooked on every word she wrote, every interview she hosted online. She was in his world, but never overlapped her social circle with his for longer than an hour at best.

She swallows thickly, “I’m sorry to say this, but I really am unimpressed by your playstyle.”

He raises an eyebrow, sliding his hand from her chin to the side of her neck. He can feel the way her pulse is racing under her skin.

“We both know that’s not true.”

Her train arrived. She ducked under his hand and made her way onto the train. Before the sliding door closes, she motions him closer so she doesn't have to yell.

“Then show me your talents. I need a challenger for my first place.”

Tendou lies on his stomach on the floor, Ushijima is reviewing some plays written by his coach. He scans for any play that could show off his left hand spikes, or any play that he could try and improvise a receive if he wasn’t on the front row rotation. The plays are different from what he’s used to. But his coach said that they were all optional, and that Ushijima’s playstyle was perfectly fine as it was. But ‘fine as is’ doesn’t earn him any accolades in her book.

Tendou perks up, “I always felt like fighting had romantic undertones.” He references what Ushijima had told him about how the dinner with his reporter went last week.

“But I don’t want to fight her? I’d hardly call a slight disagreement a fight.” Ushijima sets aside the packet he had been studying.

He opens his phone and refreshes the webpage for the newspaper she worked for. When nothing pops up under her name, he goes to the calendar page to see if she’d be attending an upcoming game he’d be playing in. He sets his phone aside when he realizes she will in fact be in attendance.

“But you do want to fight for her ‘first place’ hottie player ranking.” Tendou kicks his feet in the air, crossing his feet and tapping the top of his head.

Ushijima stands up and goes to check his closet, seeing if he needs to get a tighter jersey for the upcoming game. “She never used the word ‘hottie’ when talking about her favorite player.”

“So you admit that you do want to be her favorite player?”

Ushijima finishes trying on the jersey over his long sleeve compression shirt, the jersey fitted better than he remembered. He tugs on the front of the uniform. Then what Tendou said clicks for him.

Ushijima blinks, “I do want to be her favorite player.” He doesn’t see why he would deny that observation. Being her favorite player would be the ideal situation for him.

Tendou rolls over onto his back and wiggles his pointer fingers in the air, “You want to be more than just her favorite player.” He sings the words in a teasing manner.

“Maybe I do.”

One time, near the end of high school, she was talking during lunch. Her friends were uninterested, wanting to discuss boys or homework instead of her critical worldview analysis. Her table was right next to the table that Ushijima and Tendou were sitting at, their volleyball friends already outside tossing around a ball.

Ushijima listened in, drinking his milk while Tendou ate chicken nuggets. When her voice got quieter, almost to the point of fading out entirely due to her slowly realizing her friends were not as interested in the conversation as she was, Ushijima leaned in subconsciously, trying to catch her words.

Tendou pinched Ushijima, telling him that if he wanted to listen to her, he should ask her to come sit with them. Ushijima froze. So Tendou invited her to come sit with them. Placing her lunch tray down, she ate a carrot, sensing Ushijima’s hesitance and Tendou’s eagerness.

It was Ushijima that spoke first, “Keep going. You remind me of someone. He said almost the same thing, about his worthless pride and not forgetting about it.”

She brightens. Continuing her dissection of the value of pride, she refers to Ushijima as a reference point for pride. Using him in her examples and demonstrations of her illustrative examples. Around the third time she says his family name, he makes another request.

“You can just call me Wakatoshi.”

Tendou drops his chicken nugget, but quickly regains his pace in eating the arms off the dinosaurs.

She says his name, once and then twice. Letting it settle onto her tongue and leave a trace of what a first name basis could mean. Pondering on that instead of her newest philosophy interest is quickly dropped. She only ever calls him by his name from then on.

Needless to say, the next game he plays at, she’s there, with her notepad and pen. Each receive, hit, serve, and toss is carefully recorded on her paper.

He doesn’t do anything too off the typical, but he does try new things his coach had mentioned. Pressuring an opponent’s highest scorer more, trying a few block kills when he’s in the right rotation, scoring some points off the tip of the blockers hands instead of cutting right through their attempts to defend. He’s more tired after this game than his last one. Yet, he had more fun this time around. His teammates seemed thrilled with the results of never having a gap less than five points.

After the game, before he goes to the locker room to debrief with the team and change into regular clothes, he stalks his way over to her. She’s talking to another reporter that had been sitting in the media section, but the other reporter just elbows her lightly when he notices Ushijima making an attempt to approach. The other man slowly walks away, bidding her a farewell.

She’s still sitting on the bench, cheekily covering her notes with her hand, and writing something down. When he takes a place next to her, he spreads his legs a little, expanding his presence and bumping their thighs into each other. She initially retracts from the touch, but relaxes into it.

He’s aware that his body is thinly sheened with sweat. It drips from the hair at his nape down his back and soaks into his player kit. She brings her notepad up to her face, looking at him over the spiral binding of the paper. Trying to hide her comments and analysis of the game, which had been overwhelmingly positive for Ushijima.

“What’s your professional opinion of the game?” He uses a finger to push down her notepad that was covering her nose. A streak of ink and pencil lead was across her cheek and nose. He brought his thumb up and wiped away the markings. At first swipe, nothing moved, so he slid his thumb over again with just a little more pressure.

“It was entertaining in a different sense. Rather than being solely athletic entertainment.” She licks her own thumb and finishes wiping away all the marks that she could feel him trying to get rid of. She misses a sliver on the apple of her cheek but he doesn’t say anything, enjoying the way that it makes her seem less intimidating and more adorable.

“Care to share with the class?”

“Well, when a certain player keeps trying to make eye contact during the game, when he should instead be invested in the game, it does pose some interesting investigative questions.”

At this point, Ushijima slid his hand to her thigh, asking her to explain further, “Such as?”

“When will he get up the nerve to ask her on a date? Will he take her for a ride in that brand new car he got? Does he need glasses from how frequently it seemed he scrutinized the audience in search of her?” She pauses, then continues, “And will he be mad if she writes something about how attentive the setter was during the game?”

“Soon, for the date. Most definitely a long car ride to the mountains. His vision is actually perfectly 20/20, he just wanted to make sure she was having a good time by observing her reactions. No comments for the setter, he’s a rookie, and much less attentive than an older, more experienced player.”

She hums a little in regards to his answers to her inquiries. Soon, she tugs on the back of his hand, the hand that was resting on her thigh. She bites the cap off her pen, waving the pen in the air, close enough to his skin for him to understand the point of what she was communicating.

The pen tickled the skin of his hand, but he liked the way she put one hand under his to make his hand rest flat so she could write her piece on his body. Capping the pen back up, she tucked it behind her ear.

Written on his hand was a series of numbers, along with a small doodle of a volleyball.

Getting up from her spot on the media bench, she leaves him with a short statement.

“I liked your response to my challenge. Keep making the Monster Generation bloom with each game Wakatoshi.” She halts for a moment, then turns back to him, “You can be my number one on those conditions. Blooming the Monsters and responding to my challenges.”

He’d return every challenge she gave him if it meant he could be hers.

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allthatispeculiar · 8 months ago

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#funny #meme #haha #funny memes #humor #lol #memes #funny shit #weird memes #funny post #morality #moral integrity #philosophy #candy

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funeral · 2 months ago

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#integral theory #philosophy #p

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srisrisriddd · 8 months ago

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True Life Integral

Life = ∫ [(conscious x bliss) ÷ time] Δtime

- Dr Devang H Dattani / Infinite SriSriSri DDD

Good Morning

Equation / Quote / Poem / Poetry / Quotes Of

Bhagwan Sri Sri Sri

Doctor Devang H Dattani

Infinite SriSriSri DDD

Mathematical equation of True Life

Posted By TheBlissCity DDD Team

See The Media Photo Video For

Quoteoftheday

God Morning

#Integral , #life , #bliss , #conscious , #time , #birth , #death , #TheBlissCity , #philosophy , #mindfulness , #DrDevangHDattani , #nature , #awareness , #InfiniteSriSriSriDDD , #quotes , #life , #art , #zen , #awakening , #quote , #spiritual , #photography , #Video , #meditation , #psychology , #poem , #poetry , #motivation , #inspiration , #quoteoftheday , #love , #words , #thoughts , #joy , #pun , #enlightenment , #health , #mental health , #consciousness , #good , #god , #landscape , #life , #nirvana , #tantra , #yoga , #experience , #photooftheday , #panorama , #lake , #underwater , #fishes , #mathematics , #equation

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maslimanny · 14 days ago

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"People don't realize how hard it is to speak the truth, to a world full of people that don't realize they're living a lie."

– Edward Snowden

Snowden highlights the courage required to reveal truth in a deceived world. This insight underscores the challenge of confronting collective denial, urging steadfast honesty..!

#philosophy #Truth #courage #EdwardSnowden #integrity #Awareness

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authenticity2025 · 1 year ago

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“Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” — Samuel Johnson

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thewhizzyhead · 1 year ago

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I've discussed with my friends how genius it was to input the recurring theme of "finding and employing true will" in a turn-based RPG where everything is all laid out for the player, but it's another level of insight entirely to have the concept of freedom of choice integrated in almost every major plot point thus far - from the main character's journey of making their own choices despite being brought into existence basically with a predetermined script in mind, belobog's journey towards resisting the eternal freeze to combating it after centuries, firefly's life with a disability and her struggle to push forth nonetheless, to Sunday's whole dilemma on whether futility is all that is left in attempts to protect the weak.

Different as all these plot points and more may be, they all share one thing is common which serves as the very core of a game whose gameplay design limits the very player to only a few options per turn: What choices will you make to fight against what is fated?

#this is probably one of my favorite themes of all time in vid games because it really does hit close to home #but i really do like how it is integrated in hsr #because the concept of choice amidst predetermined fate #is tied and intertwined with the lives of almost all that we meet #ESPECIALLY IN PENACONY: LAND OF THE DREAMERS #cAUSE DAMNNNN #basically i'm really digging into all the sunday philosophy yappy talk #i'm really enjooying hsr penacony is my favorite region and my favorite plotline #because damn they took care of their main theme here #honkai star rail #hsr spoilers #hsr penacony #belobog #hsr firefly #hsr sunday

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mirror-to-the-past · 10 months ago

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Owari-Hajimari ENG Lyrical Analysis

Heyo, I just finished TWEWY recently and have been pouring over the soundtrack and turning things over in my head. Thought this song particularly was interesting in terms of the game's themes and whatnot- it seems to be from Joshua's perspective, both in the subject matter and the context in where it first played in the game (pretty sure it was the first battle Neku has alongside Joshua when he first forms the pact with him). So, here's me taking a stab at this whole thing, and digging at potential insight in Joshua's character.

("Happy-go-lucky, yo, here I am

I'm not a yuppie or a puppie, yeah, hear me roar

Jinxes mean nothin' to me they're such a joke

Never can stop me 'cause I'm on my way

Minus and plus, got 'em plugged in the wrong way

And now minor keys are easier to hear

Regression and progression, I start to realize something true")

The speaker wants to be seen as a devil-may-care yet powerful individual, not someone who's a shallow, materialistic young person or a naïve person. They don't pay any mind towards the idea of "bad luck" or spirituality, tossing aside several societal ideas of 'fairness/luck' inherently in the universe; they just want to carve out their own path. They're a cynical person, they see more of the tragedy and sadness in the world than the good and positivity that they think most people ought to appreciate. They look at the world around them and see how society constantly oscillates between growing and advancing, then falling back into old behaviors.

("’How many bottles did you throw into the right bin?’

‘Did you wash them nice and clean?’

Geniuses invent machines and wealthy people invest more funds

My momma used to say start with what you can do today, yeah, not tomorrow

So I list it up, and set this up (listen up!)

My secret plan is based on this truth)

With the first two quotes, the song starts its thematic motifs on recycling which equates towards the idea of looping/being locked in a cycle. The quotes also reflect the procedural and orderly nature of what is required to do a thing that's good for the planet and society, in this case recycling. It takes consistent effort and deliberated action to do what is most beneficial for the world around them- a level of effort and precision that can seem tedious to expend. The speaker also illustrates the taxing nature of this “do-gooder” attitude of compliance and diligence with how the dedication of innovation is often reliant upon the wealthy to promote new products- reflecting how the speaker likely thinks that even with individual diligence and determination in as many places of one’s life as possible, we are strung along to the rhythm of the rich in terms of seeing significant results from our practices. The speaker’s mother, implied to be confronted with the speaker’s feelings of impotence in an unbending society, tells them that if they want things to change, they have to focus on the moment and not become overwhelmed with the bigger picture (“tomorrow”). The “list it up/set it up/secret plan based on this truth” is repeated in the song, demonstrating extreme significance for the development of the speaker’s core values- in response to all of these perceived struggles present in the world and the speaker’s society and an interpretation of the advice of their parent, they internalized a mindset/course of action that may be seen as unacceptable to others, hence the “secret” nature of their “plan.” The speaker copes with their struggles in an analytical and strategic way.

(“It's a small world, it's a small universe. Remember? We used to sing along to the song

Listen to what she says, we are the universe, OWARI-WA HAJIMARI, HAJIMARI-WA OWARI”)

The characterization of assumedly the universe’s “song” as feminine reflects a level of reverence, attachment, feelings of fickleness, or reliance, as is often seen in feminine personifications of inanimate concepts. The speaker then says “we are the universe,” which shows that these are also all traits that they may see in humanity itself. ‘Owari-wa hajimari,” and “Hajimari-wa Owari” translates to “The end is the beginning,” and “The beginning is the end,” respectively, echoing the cyclical viewpoint of the speaker when it comes to the idea of the universe’s progression- any movement is movement, for creation or destruction, but stagnation is what is against the will of the universe itself.

(“An original strategy is what I need. Contradicted world? I've had enough indeed.

Whatsoever, what is forever? I hear them say it, again and again

‘Recycle, reuse, and try to reduce.’ But in the first place, I refuse to confuse!

How many companies want to sell us more services and products? Can't we share?”)

The speaker is at odds with the idea of maintaining the status quo and the level of dissonance that comes from the public at large as a result. “I’ve had enough indeed. Whatsoever, what is forever” flowing thought, in that the ideas bleed together [I’ve had enough indeed, whatsoever/Whatsoever, what is forever?], with the “whatsoever” being the emphasized focal point of the two phrases. This “whatsoever,” meaning “at all,” reflecting an entirety or generalized feeling, or meaning “whatever,” expressing apathy in a longstanding, archaic manner, is the key point here, showing both chronic fatigue at the tug-and-pull/paradoxical system the speaker is in, alongside a presented apathy about it. The speaker is tired of what they view as trivialities born from the idea of individual responsibility for one’s own well-being and the well-being of their society [expressed once again through the recycling metaphor], using double wordplay in response to the recycling metaphor: “recycle, reuse, reduce,” responded to with “refuse” = waste. This shows how the speaker wants to exit the system, highlighted by how they put blame on those behind production and consumerism for pushing the narrative of individual responsibility upon the populace, while they remain the ones primarily in control of the thrum of waste vs. reuse. The speaker wants a collective responsibility to be acknowledged, where no single person is an island to each other, and no person ‘higher on the ladder,’ so to speak, gets to decide the rules of how the common person ought to live their life.

(“How about talking about something different, because all I got is fake, play money

Jigsaw puzzle I can't find the last piece, maybe I swallowed it when I was a kid

My daddy used to say, ‘Keep your eyes on reality and kid don't you forget to enjoy it’

So I list it up and I set this up (listen up!)

My secret plan is based on this truth”)

This verse focuses on trivializing consumerism and asking questions about emotional wholeness with motifs of childishness/childhood, respectively. The speaker feels helpless discussing the inner working of society especially on a class-based critique basis, because they feel the concept of economy and materialism is all illusory anyway, feeling more occupied by how they feel a sort of deep-running gap in themselves and their self-concept that is implied to have persisted since childhood. The ‘jigsaw-puzzle’ in this case symbolizes the speaker, the ‘last piece’ symbolizes the dissatisfaction the speaker has towards society and life in general, and they blame something deep within themselves for this feeling of emptiness, hence the loaded responsibility behind the ‘maybe I swallowed it when I was a kid.’ The speaker’s father must have born witness to these feelings and beliefs, seemingly more in favor of materialism and against internal emotional introspection in comparison to his child. ‘Keep your eyes on reality,’ has the father likely telling the speaker that should care more about things like the aforementioned ‘play money,’ and ‘don’t you forget to enjoy it’ has the father telling the speaker to set their feelings of emotional emptiness to the side, and focus more on the pleasures of life to fill that gap. With the final two lines, the speaker shows that they internalized their father’s words in accordance with their aforementioned strategy on how to approach the dissatisfaction of life.

#love this song- analyzing this really helped me wrap my head around Joshua more as a character #particularly the lines about his mother and father and how he integrated that into his philosophy that exists to the present day #it was just very... vivid(?) to me. I could clearly envision this kid upset with society looking at ghosts of scared people around him #seeking council from people who didn't understand and told him to get his head out of the clouds #the cynicism that is born from what used to be idealism that was crushed by a society that didn't want change #it's very sympathetic to me- from that perspective #twewy #the world ends with you #joshua kiryu

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afieldinengland · 3 months ago

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#how to think about the possibility of being loved as i’d like to be— and as a man— without #immediately being hit by a violently sad thought of ‘but i’m transgender so that’s impossible don’t be stupid’ as painful as biting off #my tongue. i don’t see anyone in the day-to-day any more who calls me he/him and it’s warping me #when i go back to university it’ll be different. i suppose. but still. i’ll never be a dorian #something i’ll have to get used to. i haven’t been kissed since i was sixteen so this really isn’t the only thing wrong with me #i guess i have this whole philosophy and ideal of love and my gender that’s so situated in…. wilde. forster’s maurice and the greenwood.#shakespeare. the love that dare not speak its name. so on and so forth. so it’s integral to my personhood but i know i could never actually #have it. let’s not get self-indulgent. do i mean any of this (yes)#not implying any of this applies to anyone but me obviously. i’m really a bit vain in regard to self-cruelty #i am aware this is all terribly internalised

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philosophybits · 11 months ago

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It takes great powers of judgment to measure someone else’s... Words demonstrate integrity, and deeds even more so. Here is where one needs extraordinary care, profound observation, and critical power.

Baltasar Gracián, The Art of Worldly Wisdom

#philosophy #quotes #Baltasar Gracián #The Art of Worldly Wisdom #judgment #integrity #words #actions #ethics

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v-ividus · 6 months ago

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37. The Dissonance Within: Unraveling the Fabric of Self-Respect and Interpersonal Integrity in a Fragmented Age

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly.” — Pema Chödrön

At its core, self-respect is an intricate tapestry woven from threads of dignity, integrity, and sincerity, yet it remains perilously susceptible to the corrosive effects of societal disdain. We reside not in a vacuum, but rather in a kaleidoscope of expectations, judgments, and relentless comparisons, each contributing to an insidious erosion of our self-worth. When individuals forsake their moral compass, often in the pursuit of acceptance, they unwittingly engage in a betrayal of self, distorting their perception of innate value.

The contemporary social landscape exacerbates this fragility, introducing algorithmic biases that amplify self-doubt and resentment. These platforms create echo chambers where self-aggrandizement and vanity masquerade as authenticity, further ensnaring individuals in a web of superficial validation. Here, one must confront the bitter truth: the more we seek external affirmation, the more we distance ourselves from the foundation of genuine self-respect.

Moreover, this societal malaise manifests itself through the oppression of vulnerability; individuals are conditioned to guard their true selves behind a facade of what is deemed acceptable. The ironic consequence of this self-imposed exile is a moral disengagement that nurtures a climate of disconnection. How can we hold space for others if we cannot honor our own humanity? This inquiry invites a deeper understanding of the self as an integral part of the collective, where self-respect is not merely an abstraction but a catalyst for societal change.

As Pema Chödrön posits, ignorance breeds aggression against oneself, igniting a cycle of self-loathing that negates personal growth. Thus, the act of looking inward—equipping ourselves with courage and respect—becomes a revolutionary act in our journey toward self-respect. One must kindle the flames of introspection, however uncomfortable, to reclaim the dignity stripped away by an indifferent world.

Ultimately, as we delve into the labyrinth of self-respect, it becomes paramount to recognize that our worth is not contingent upon the fleeting opinions of others. The re-establishment of self-esteem hinges not on external approval but on internal acceptance. It is through this lens that we can begin to interrogate the nature and purpose of our existing relationships.

Interpersonal Relationships: The Paradox of Proximity

In an era marked by unprecedented connectivity, the paradox of interpersonal relationships becomes glaringly apparent. While technology propels individuals closer in a digital sense, it simultaneously erects barriers to authentic human connection. Social media perpetuates a curated existence, forcing individuals to present sanitized versions of themselves that cater to an insatiable audience, rather than fostering connections grounded in truth and vulnerability.

As we navigate this convoluted landscape, the erosion of dignity in relationships becomes stark. People find themselves ensnared in a transactional model of engagement, viewing interactions through the lens of utility rather than mutual respect. This paradigm shift engenders an environment where compassion and understanding are traded for likes and follows, breeding a culture that devalues the profound intricacies of human experience.

The psychological fallout of this disconnection is palpable, as individuals experience intensified feelings of loneliness and alienation despite a façade of social interaction. The very fabric of our relationships begins to fray under the weight of external pressures, leading to a generation plagued by anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of disillusionment. Here, the lack of genuine connection exacts a toll not merely on individuals, but on society as a whole.

Self-respect, thus, becomes compromised within these superficial exchanges. When our worth is measured by digital applause rather than real-world interactions, dignity erodes, fostering a cycle of self-deprecation and conflict. The challenge lies in recalibrating our expectations and priorities, shifting our focus from the pursuit of status to the cultivation of meaningful relationships grounded in empathy and authenticity.

To engage in this difficult dialogue, we must first confront the unsettling reality that many of our relationships serve as a mirror reflecting our own inadequacies. Are we truly connecting with others, or merely engaging in rituals that perpetuate our collective loss of self-respect? The answer may lie in the courage to seek out vulnerability, to embrace the complex interplay of human emotions, and to honor the underlying humanity that connects us all.

The Loss of Moral and Ethical Identity: A Societal Crisis

In this age of moral relativism, the erosion of ethical identity stands vividly illuminated. The pervasive narratives propagated by social, political, and religious institutions often prioritize conformity over moral integrity, encouraging individuals to align their beliefs with prevailing dogmas rather than cultivating personal values grounded in compassion and accountability. This dissonance between personal ethics and societal expectations marks the onset of a moral crisis.

As individuals navigate this landscape, the allure of acceptance often leads them to compromise their values in pursuit of belonging. In forsaking their moral compass, they not only forsake their self-respect but contribute to a broader societal disintegration of ethical standards. The quest for societal validation, then, becomes an act of self-sabotage—one that obliterates the possibility of genuine connection and accountability.

Moreover, the absence of moral clarity extends beyond the individual, infiltrating interpersonal relationships and societal constructs. As people grapple with conflicting ideals, a pervasive sense of apathy surfaces, fostering environments where ethical dilemmas are sidestepped in favor of convenience. This relinquishment of moral responsibility breeds distrust, resentment, and a pervasive sense of disillusionment among those yearning for authentic relationships.

Pema Chödrön’s assertion that ignorance fosters fundamental aggression towards oneself resonates powerfully in this context. As individuals neglect their ethical responsibilities, they inadvertently engage in a form of self-inflicted harm, eroding their sense of purpose and belonging. To disrupt this cycle of ignorance, one must first engage in a rigorous examination of their own values, cultivating the humility to recognize and confront one’s shortcomings.

In navigating the complexities of moral identity, it is essential to embrace the journey toward ethical rejuvenation. This requires a deliberate shift from superficial conformity to an unwavering commitment to personal values, fostering an environment where integrity thrives. In doing so, we can begin to forge relationships where respect is reciprocal, enabling the cultivation of a community built upon shared principles and a collective sense of dignity.

Algorithmic Control: The Social Media Dilemma

The algorithms governing our digital engagements have insidiously infiltrated our interpersonal relationships, distorting our understanding of self and others. They have conditioned us to prioritize engagement metrics over meaningful connections, fostering a superficial culture where worth is quantified through likes and shares. This commodification of human interaction encourages us to mask our flaws and insecurities, thereby alienating us from our authentic selves.

As users of social media, we unwittingly become participants in a grand experiment—one where our mental and emotional well-being is sacrificed at the altar of engagement-driven content. Amid this cacophony of curated realities, individuals grapple with an incessant comparison to the seemingly flawless lives of others, stoking feelings of inadequacy that undermine self-respect. Such psychological warfare cultivates a fertile ground for narcissism, as users retreat further into self-absorption to shield themselves from an unrelenting tide of external judgment.

The social media landscape thus exacerbates the erosion of dignity within interpersonal relationships, as individuals find themselves engaged in performative acts rather than authentic exchanges. The act of self-presentation becomes a battleground, where vulnerability is vilified and façade is glorified. We painstakingly construct personas that align with societal expectations, all while neglecting the profound humanity that resides beneath the surface.

Regrettably, algorithmic control extends beyond individual experience—it manifests in a collective relegation of moral consciousness. As empathy dwindles in the face of a hyper-competitive digital landscape, the capacity for altruism diminishes, eroding the social fabric that sustains healthy relationships. People find themselves entangled in a web of impersonal interactions, wherein self-interest eclipses the moral imperative to honor the humanity of others.

To counteract this disintegration, it becomes imperative to reclaim agency over our digital engagements. This encompasses not only resisting the temptations of algorithmic validation but also fostering a conscious commitment to cultivating authentic relationships that transcend the superficial confines of social media. By embracing vulnerability and empathy, we can restore the dignity required for healthy and enriching interpersonal connections.

Rediscovering Humanity: Bridging the Chasm of Disconnection

In the aftermath of this moral and ethical erosion, we find ourselves at a crossroads—a moment that demands introspection and action. The process of rediscovering the humanity of others calls for an unwavering commitment to dismantling the barriers erected by societal expectations and algorithmic control. It requires us to confront the uncomfortable reality that our relationships, too often filtered through the lens of self-interest, lack the depth and richness inherent in genuine connection.

To embark on this transformative journey, we must embrace the radical act of vulnerability—one that necessitates relinquishing the armor we don to shield ourselves from scrutiny. In vulnerability, we uncover the power of authenticity, revealing our true selves to others while inviting them to do the same. This reciprocal exchange fosters a space for genuine connection, where empathy flourishes amidst our shared struggles and triumphs.

Moreover, the act of rediscovering humanity extends beyond mere interpersonal connections—it is an invitation to reclaim our collective moral and ethical identity. As we engage with others in a spirit of compassion and understanding, we begin to dismantle the insidious forces that perpetuate division and antagonism. This reclamation of shared humanity fosters a culture of respect, where the dignity of all individuals is honored, contributing to the reparation of our fragmented social fabric.

As we navigate this path toward renewed connection, we must confront the uncomfortable truths residing within ourselves. Acknowledging our roles in perpetuating disconnection and estrangement is not an act of self-flagellation, but rather a potent catalyst for transformative growth. In doing so, we position ourselves as agents of change, committed to fostering an environment of radical empathy and respect—a process that ultimately enhances our collective sense of humanity.

The Call to Self-Examination: Embracing the Discomfort

Ultimately, the journey toward self-respect and moral clarity compels an uncomfortable but necessary reckoning. Engaging in self-examination—prompted by Chödrön's powerful reminder of the harm inherent in ignorance—serves as a vital precursor to genuine growth and transformation. In confronting our shortcomings, we not only enrich our self-awareness but cultivate the courage necessary to effect meaningful change in our lives and relationships.

This introspective journey is fraught with discomfort, as we grapple with the darker aspects of our nature—the envy, selfishness, and inauthenticity that often bubble beneath the surface. Yet, it is precisely in this discomfort that growth resides. By facing our moral failings, we can dismantle the barriers that inhibit authentic connection, allowing us to reconcile with the humanity of ourselves and others.

To invoke lasting change, we must harness the power of vulnerability and empathy, consciously choosing to engage with the world from a place of authenticity. This commitment to integrity transcends the superficial confines of societal expectations, granting us the freedom to forge relationships rooted in mutual respect. As we engage in this transformative endeavor, we will inevitably rediscover the essence of our shared humanity—an anchor amidst the chaos of contemporary existence.

The devastating psychological and sociological implications of our current milieu demand urgent attention, beckoning us to confront the uncomfortable truths that lie within. It is through confronting these truths that we pave the way for renewed self-respect and healthier relationships. By embarking on this journey of rediscovery, we reclaim not only our dignity but also the sacredness of our connections with others, nurturing a collective moral identity that fosters compassion, understanding, and a profound respect for the beauty of human experience.

Conclusion: The Path Forward

As we emerge from this intellectual journey, we are left with vital questions that challenge the status quo of our interpersonal relationships and collective moral fabric. How do we reconcile the dissonance between our aspirational ideals and the cultural forces at play? The key lies in embracing the discomfort of self-examination, recognizing the latent potential for growth inherent in vulnerability and empathy. Each moment spent digging into our moral consciousness garners the momentum necessary for this pivotal transformation.

This journey demands diligence, humility, and a steadfast commitment to reconnecting with our ethical foundations—principles that can lay the groundwork for enriching, dignified relationships. As we navigate the turbulent waters of societal pressures, mindfulness and introspection become indispensable tools, guiding us toward authentic connections that transcend the superficiality of current social paradigms. Embracing our humanity implicates recognizing the shared struggle of existence, fostering an enduring sense of solidarity that binds us together amidst our individual complexities.

In this endeavor, we come full circle to Chödrön’s striking observation regarding the perils of ignorance. Remaining willfully blind to our moral and ethical identity not only undermines our self-respect but ultimately contributes to the deterioration of trust and dignity in our relationships. By cultivating an ongoing practice of self-reflection, we kindle the flame of honesty and respect, illuminating the path toward reinventing the interconnectedness of our humanity. Ultimately, it is this revival—not only of self-respect but also of our collective ethical integrity—that holds the key to a flourishing world, one where each individual is cherished and valued for their inherent worth.

#Pema Chödrön #Self Respect #Integrity #Interpersonal Relationships #Honesty #Truth #Transparency #Philosophy #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #writeblr

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