#It only gets deeper and deeper till it becomes an obsession that can keep one alive and have hope for the better

[graveyarrdshift]

i wake up and then i yearn and yearn and yearn and yearn and-

[reverieblondie]

I already sent this thought to someone, but I think you might like it, too!

Tiefling bachelors accidentally scratching up the surfaces they were bracing their hands on while engaged in a moment of carnal passion with his partner, like not small superficial scratches, I mean his claws left gouge marks. Imagine he is all nervous/embarrassed about it only for his partner to inform him that is actually incredibly hot.

I look forward to seeing your thoughts (if you desire to share them).

A/N: This took me forever! But I loved every second it was so fun! these scenario ones are always my favorites! I love love the Tiefling bachelors but I wanted to add some of my moots OCs that I love. We have Kieran from @dark-and-kawaii wonderful mind (thank you for the screenshot and thank you for making this man I am obsessed!) We also have Syvaris who I instantly fell for when I saw him on the discord server made by @tealfling (He is so dreamy and I am so happy for @faerunsbest oc Dwylla for snatching up that tall man, also thank you for the photo to use!) Hope you enjoy its all 18+! MDNI!

Rolan

"Your... A- Ah~ Annoying,  you know that?" Rolan growls in your ear as his claws dig into the sides of your thighs. All you can manage is a breathy giggle that turns into a whine as he pushes into your wet core deeper. The ridges stretch you as he sinks deeper, Rolan's brows are furrowed, and his eyes shut tight as he feels you clench on his cock like a vise. "So…so… tight… per-perfect," his voice mumbles as he gets lost in the feeling. This is a far cry from how he was acting earlier, you had been bothering him all day with countless pointless questions, touching his arms and hands, then acting oh so innocent about it. The last straw had been when you barged into his office and sat on his desk, hiking up your dress to show just a teasing hint of your thighs, of course, in an effort to interrupt his oh-so-important studies. Rolan was definitely taking out some built up frustrations when he finally broke. Grabbing you by your waist, Rolan pushes you down on the desk and finally kisses you; it is desperate, hungry, and completely perfect. You didn't think Rolan was ever going to stop kissing you, not until he started talking about how you drive him crazy. Now, here you lay back on the desk as Rolan's long nails scratch his oak desk, and he ruts in, bouncing you to take an inch deeper with every thrust. The pleasure of the stretch is overwhelming, and then there's the sight of him over you, his golden eyes shining, and the way his hair hangs down; he is completely enthralling. You should have bothered him to this point months ago... "Rolan... you're perfect." Your sweet praise rings in Rolan's ears, making him scratch his nails deeper down his desk. You feel his tail thrashing around till it's gripping your leg like a vice; all you can keep doing is gripping his tough skin, singing his praises, making his cock throb, and you too keen further. Rolan, fueled by your praise, loses himself in you as he lifts his foot on top of the desk angling his cock to hit against your G-spot in mind-numbing bliss. Rolan's own praise continues to switch from common to infernal as he desperately chases both of your orgasms. He's been pinning for months, and now that he has you, he's desperate to please you. When he finally pushes you to that edge, it's intense. Once you have both come down from your orgasms, Rolan's face is flushed from more than just the 'workout.' He's avoiding eye contact even as you try to ask him what the matter is. "Was it me?" you finally muster as you feel your chest sinking. Rolan turns to you quickly, holding your naked body close to his, "It's me… I was… unhinged… you probably-" you cover his mouth with your fingers, causing him to become quiet, "You were perfect… Rolan, truly perfect." Rolan looks at his sharp nails and ruined desk, "It didn't scare you?" You lean in closer to his lips, "Only excites me…"  

Hours later, Lia brought up Rolan a late dinner (considering he had missed it earlier doing whatever). When she knocked on the door, she could have sworn she had heard hissing whispers and something being shoved. Rolan answers the door out of breath but uncharacteristically cheerful; it was suspicious... Lia looks around and sees large gashes on his desk and on his study walls. "What happened here?" She says, placing the tray down on the ruined desk; Rolan stumbles about clearing his throat till picking up a tome (one of many on the floor), "I was working on a difficult spell." Lia looks around, "I guess it's one hell of a spell…" Before she can further look around, Rolan is thanking her for the food and pushing her out. Must be very eager to get back to his work… 

Zevlor

The first thing he asked you when you came into the storage room was if anyone saw you sneak in after him. The Second question he asked you as he walked towards you from the darkness, his fiery eyes locked on yours, was if you could keep quiet." Of course "was what you promised Zevlor, and of course, at that time, you had meant it… but now that your legs are wrapped around his textured waist and his thick cock is ramming in and out of you, bouncing you against the supply shelf, you're finding it difficult not to scream his name. Zevlor is also finding it equally as difficult not to moan your name as yours as you take him in so well, your tight warmth practically sucking him in deeper as your slick walls flutter around him. Your nails bite into his shoulders with every roll of his hips. Zevlors breath is hot and heavy against your neck, his teeth threatening to bite your delicate skin as he presses sloppy kisses against you. It all just riles you up more, rolling your hips to meet his thrust pushing his hot cock to sink in deeper, nudging that sensitive spot in your cunt, forcing you to see stars. A deep groan rips from Zevlors throat as your cunt quivers on his cock with a rush of your arousal squirting onto his abdomen. In an attempt to keep himself quiet, he bites into your skin while his hands claw up and tear at the supply shelves, even forcing some things to fall and crash to the ground as his hips move erratically to chase his high. Later, he will embarrassingly apologize for acting like an animal, but you just kiss his lips and say you want to see that passion again. 

You're trying not to blush as the rest of the caravan's refugees look at the ruined shelves and materials marked by claws. When Zevlor finally shows up from being called, he gives a simple answer: "Animals must have gotten in and messed around," he says, trying to hide his smile. You promised that your rondeau tonight would happen outside the grove so you could be as loud as you like.

Cal

You could have had anyone you wanted at the party; as the hero of the hour, everyone was trying to catch your attention, but you picked him out, and Cal couldn't be happier. Cal almost feels like he can't breathe as you kiss his neck before running your tongue over his ears. You giggle as his tail twists and sways erratically, his clawed hands holding tightly onto your bedroll, carefully trying not to rip it. Cals is trying so hard not to lose control, but little does he know that's exactly what you're after. Cal has always been so sweet and strong… All you want him to do is to let go and finally release all that built-up tension. So after much soft teasing with sweet whispered desires, you reward when Cal finally snaps, taking you in his arms and kissing you like he's never going to see you again. You, of course, were soft to start… but your want can make you ravenous as Cal's hands ran over your body; of course, it led to you stripping him in a fever, eager to feel his hot hands all over your skin, caressing your sides, teasing your inner thighs, and twisting your breast… You just couldn't help it anymore when you finally pushed him down to sink onto his girth. Cal's clawed hands rip fistfuls of your bedroll apart as you bounce on his cock; he eagerly matches your pace with his hips ramming up into your wet cunt, making your eyes roll in ecstasy. Your sweet Cal looks up at you with half-lidded eyes concentrating on your pleasure, he wants to please you, and when you bring his hand to circle your clit he's in bliss. Your cunt clenches down harder on his thick cock, making a growl rip from his throat as he tries not to cum too quickly.  But then you start begging… begging for him to cum inside and claim you as his. With a moan and a loud tear, you feel him cum in hot spurts that make you desperate for more of him. Later, Cal will be so embarrassed and nervous about ripping up your bedroll; of course, he offers to give you his, but you just smirk, "I don't mind it all ripped up; it's a good reminder of you for the road."  

The next day, as you're packing up your things, still feeling quite melancholy about the tiefling departure, you're about to pack up your ruined bedroll when a clearing of a throat causes you to turn. It's Halsin, and in his hands, he has a bedroll. You look at him confused, and he just smiles. "Heard from a blushing young man that you needed a new one." Of course, Cal wouldn't leave you with a ruined one. During your small reverie of thinking about Cal, Astarion walks past with a smirk, "Hope it's claw proof, that or get that teif some claw covers for next time." 

Dammon

His forked tongue licks at your dripping sweat as it rolls down your throat. Dammon pins you against the back wall as one hand holds your hips as the other keeps him steady leaning you both steady. His weight presses against your body as his thick cock stretches you open. Your hands and legs wrap tightly around him as he fucks you in the back of the forge. You had been so needy and couldn't wait for him to take you upstairs, you needed him now. So thus leading to you two tangled together in the back of the shop. You're both nude and sweating as the forge fire roars. As you chant his name Dammons pace gets rougher, his cock slamming in so deep you begin to see stars. Feeling your tight warmth starting to clench on his cock has his mind going blank. First, you feel his sharp nails on your hip pierce your skin, then you hear the scratching down the stone wall as his hips get faster, the pace getting sloppier but never relenting. Dammon always knows how to give you exactly where you need it every time. His breathing is rough and shallow in your ear before he lets out a dark growl, "Cum on my cock. So I can fucking fill you..." Dammon is rarely so demanding, but you just can't help yourself when he is. Dammon comes to bed later rather quietly… when you ask him about it, he says he's embarrassed for getting so rough, when will he learn that's your favorite…

The customer looks at the back of the forge's wall, tilting his head at the scratches all over the stones. "What happened to your back wall?" Dammon flushes, stammering before you come and place a hand on the small at his back, calming him. "Just your typical late night at the forge. Nothing to worry about."

Kieran

He smiles down at your blissed-out face, "Feels good, doesn't it, bunny?" All you can manage to do is to open your mouth and whine as his cock keeps punching against your cervix, brushing your smooth, slick walls with the hard ridges of his cock. Kieran smirks down at you, so malleable for him; he hicks your legs up further, forcing your knees up to your face, successfully folding you in half. "You're so full you can't even think right now, huh?" You urge yourself to answer, but with the added heat of his body slamming onto you is leaving you in a lustful daze. You end up just grabbing his shoulders, digging your nails further into his flesh, practically threatening to make him bleed, "Please…" Your pleading is music to his ears as he pounds you harder, his nails not only ripping through the wooden headboard but ripping your skin in the process. The sharp feeling is quickly dulling into toe-curling pleasure as Kieran continues to fuck you at a rough pace. "Please… Please!" you continue to breathe as you quench down on his cock, causing him to groan in your ear, "Oh bunny, you don't even know what you're begging for, do you?" Kieran rolls his hips at an agonizingly slow pace making your eyes cross as his tail finds your clit. "What would your boyfriend think of you now? Begging like a whore for another man's cock in his bed nonetheless…" you hardly hear his taunting words as you cling to him, babbling as his nails continue to carve into you; if you didn't know any better, you would think he's carving his initials… "poor bastard just didn't know how to treat you…" Kieran grabs your hips and starts to bounce you in his cock, smiling at how you come undone for him so easily. Honestly, Kieran is not remorseful in the least for scratching everything up. 

Your boyfriend stumbles into your shared bedroom and pauses when he sees the bed broken and everything else he owns ripped to shreds. He looks around, perplexed until he sees a letter waiting on the broken nightstand. "Sorry about the bed. Try finding something more durable. Also, I took the girl." - K.E. 

Syvaris

Syvaris was just expecting to take a nice refreshing dip… but he hadn't expected to be interrupted during his wash in the river. Syvaris had a feeling he was being watched, it was only confirmed when he stopped his meditation to see you peeking at him from behind a tree. You, the same sweet little thing he had helped save earlier that day spying on him…, and he couldn't find it in himself to mind, especially when it's someone so pretty like you acting so naughty. All Syvaris had to do was wave his hand to beckon you closer, "care to join me?" was all he said to get you to strip bare for him and join him in the crisp waters. It was clear you were wanting this just like he was. The coolness of the water made you feel a shiver throughout your body; it was short-lived. However, as you swam closer, he wrapped his warm arms around you, bringing you to his lap. Syvaris chuckled as he let you roam your hands over his wide chest. A passionate make-out followed where he prepped you with his long fingers in your wet cunt. The next thing you knew in the lust-filled blur was him having switched your positions to have your back pushed against a rock as he stretched your cunt taut, and he sunk into your warmth. Syvaris seemed determined to ruin you for any man after him with the way he rammed into you. Syvaris continued to shower you in praise as his lips caressed your sweat-laced skin, and with every kiss, every whisper, every thrust that threatened to go straight to your womb, your pussy fluttered and gripped him like a vise. Such a sweet little thing… he promises to come back for you when his journey is over, but for now he wants to stay in this moment for as long as he can, holding tight to you as he digs his claws into the rock holding you as he fills you with his cum. You won't be able to forget him… especially not when you're going to be leaking him for days…

You are stuck in your reverie as you look out into the cool waters. You were meant to be down here to wash laundry in the stream, but when you look in the distance, you see that same place where you shared your night with your hero. Syvaris had left with a promise to return, and you knew deep down it was true… but you still worried…. "Are those bear scratches?" one of the girls with her own basket says in shock, part of you has half a mind to confess… but you keep Syvaris and your secret tight to your chest. 

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

Four times Simon wanted to kiss you, you're just so irresistible that Simon couldn't wrap it together why he's obsessed with you. The one sided feeling (from his point of view) that he tried to suppress always fail successfully cause what, you're existing and that's enough to make his knees weak. Something about the way your lips moving while talking, or the way they open when eating, and the way your lips are just there. The softness, plump and shape of your lips. Sometimes, your lips are glistening with lip balm, spit and water. Simon never feel this strong urge before and now he's going to take what he needs to claim — your inviting lips

Your Inviting Lips - Simon “Ghost” Riley*Reader

Hello! I hope you don’t mind having the last few words of your req as the title because they’re beautiful! and tyvm for the idea :D 💖

Simon wonders if you know how intoxicating you are.

He will fall to his knees if you chant praises, watching your plump lips move, tongue darts out and give it a swipe, like coating sugar to already juicy cherries.

He’s falling, deep and deeper, to this unknown abyss. Is it a honey trap? Is it worth him to become human? He has no idea.

Will he stop this expedition? No chance.

There’s no map leading him to your heart, so he just watches you from afar, observing how your lips open, take a bite at the strawberry.

If he takes you in his arms right now, and presses his chapped lips to your soft ones, will it taste as sweet as the strawberry? can he derive a hint of the sweetness when his tongue dances with yours?

The smile you wear on your lips, why is it so irresistible? The slight curl at the corner, he wants to caress it with his calloused thumb, hoping that won’t ruin the perfection. The shape of your lips is prettier than any model he sees on those lipstick posters.

He never dreams of reciprocating from you. The one side feeling will last forever, till he sees another man claim those lips that should be his.

Your existence is already enough for him, encouraging him to breathe, subsiding his anger.

Don’t be greedy, Simon tells himself, yet it’s difficult when you keep tugging at his heartstrings and staying oblivious.

Albeit he repeats the sentence as if it’s a motto, the screaming reminding him to make you his in his mind overshadows it when he walks into the room, and spots you having a lip balm in your hand.

“You should quit staring, LT.” Simon hears you chuckles, eyes meeting his through the mirror.

“Curious about how to put on lip balm?”

“Just a bit.”

“Well” With the lip balm in your hand, you stand up and raise an eyebrow at him. “How about you try it yourself?”

His eyes stick on your figure as you sway towards him. Every click of your heels only makes his heart pound harder against his chest.

Taking over the lip balm, and looking back at you, eyes closed and pouting a bit for him to spread the ointment on you.

Not now. Simon restrains the urge as he cradles your face in his palm, and carefully starts his mission.

“Not bad.” You take a glimpse at your pocket mirror.

“Thanks I guess.”

“Don’t you want to learn more?”

“About what?” He’s reading the tag on the lip balm as you ask.

“I’m sure you will be curious about the flavor of it, Sir.”

Snapping his head up in a blink of an eye, he is able to recognize it. The smirk spreading across your glistening lips, just few inches from his masked one.

Without a second thought, he shoves his mask above his nose, and pulls you into a passionate kiss.

He smashes his lips with yours, opening his mouth when you lick at his bottom lip to demand an entrance. Two famished people, finally get the things that are theirs since the start, avariciously drink in each other's essence, absorbing the nutrients deprived for too long.

If there are no barriers between the bodies, it won’t end until the fusion of both hearts.

Pulling back and panting, his spit provides a new layer of protection for your lips.

“How’s the taste, Ghost?”

“Need one more time to make sure.”

Lips touching again, moving at a tender pace this time, Simon realizes why there’s no map indicating the path to your love.

Because he’s already at the location hoarding the treasure.

[deathlieteez]

ATTENTION (3.1)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.2

chapter 3, part 1: (the grudge) a way down. ever since that night when yunho cheated on his new girlfriend to fuck you at the emergency exit of a nightclub, he decided to focus on you again. you fucked him almost every day in a dynamic where you always ended up rejecting him. he felt attached to you somehow, didn't know if it was called love or if it was the idea of getting you back that kept him practically obsessed. however, it seems that yunho has started to find a new - or not so new - "way" to finally get over you, but you couldn't imagine how fucked up you would end up.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend + mean reader.

genre: angst, smut. college au.

warning: unprotected sex (be careful hun♡), cursing, mean reader, heartbroken yunho, petnames, oral receiving (yunho)

word count: 2.6k

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

songs i get inspired by: my strange addiction - billie eilish + gimme love - joji + dunno - marc miller + gimme love - rosenfeld + something about us - daft punk + if you want love - nf

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"keep going, my beautiful" yunho growled, digging his fingers into your hair for a better hold. the laughter that came out of your throat when you saw how needy he had become in just a few minutes, right after telling you it wasn't a good day for visits. but it was you, and yunho couldn't resist your charms. or your body, your mouth, your cunt, or the slightest drop of affection that would give him the tiniest, remotest hope that it might work one day.

you could brag about having him tied between your fingers. you could do it because he would appear with a snap of your fingers, no matter how hard you pushed him after a magnificent sex.

"fuck, fuck" the vibrations from your little giggle went to his cock, making him twitch. he dropped his arm back, flexing on the bed to allow himself to raise his hips against your mouth, digging deeper into your throat. the saliva was already dripping down your chin as you set up your gag reflex, but that only made him moan louder. his low, almost broken voice unraveling for you was music to your ears, "this is my baby. can you take some more, right? will you let me cum in your slutty little mouth?" a guttural sound of affirmation sent vibrations through his thick cock again and he was sure if he wasn't sitting on the edge of the bed in your old apartment he would have fallen backwards.

you surprised yourself by answering his calls and even calling him after that first night. after that, things changed dramatically between you and yunho. he himself let you know that his relationship with that girl ended the next day, and although you didn't want it, were glad about it, but didn't let him know. your reaction was colder and more distant. at least you made things better with her, was the only thing you told him after you read his message. he tried to call you after you wrote, but you didn't take his call, which didn't mean it was over. in the beginning, that was what you wanted. you were still angry with him, because you hadn't forgotten what he did. still had that image in your head, and the simple thought made your blood boil.

that hostile feeling was what made you call him a few days later. it didn't take long for it to become a fucking dynamic. day in and day out, would text or call each other: you, to fuck him; he, to see you - and fuck while you were at it, because that's all that ended up happening. when you were done, you'd leave his house or kick him out of your bedroom. you'd be lying if didn't say that more than once almost succumbed to the desire to sleep with him, but never did till now. the worst part for yunho was when the weekend came.

"u're beautiful with my cock in your mouth" he moaned, and you instinctively pressed your legs, soaking wet without him even touching you properly. the very image of yunho with his face completely fucked, his lips open, his dark gaze glued to you as if you were the only one for him - and the one who ate him the best. he lifted part of his shirt to show you his smooth chiseled stomach, because he knew how much you loved to see his skin tighten in pleasure thanks to you, who are a goddamn sight to see from any angle, and he could fuck your mouth all fucking day long. but as much as he liked the idea, it wouldn't be enough. he needed you and knew you needed him. "get up, my love."

at times like that, those were the only times you allow him to call you anything remotely affectionate. precious, my love, jagiya, baby. you only tolerated it when it had a sexual connotation. told yourself it was to punish him and show him his place, but actually you couldn't bear to leave his side after he used any affectionate nickname on you. you were especially strict, even cruel, on weekends. sometimes he didn't show up, afraid you'd hurt him again by eating some guy in his fucking face who was really just the appetizer before him, the main course. his friends warned him over and over again. you were cruel, you had no feelings, you were just using him, you were a heartless bitch. it was all true. at least partially -or apparently.

"u like my cock so much that can't let go?" he grunted, pushing you away with the palm of his hand, pressing it against your forehead, forcing you to look at him. your cheeks were burning, your hair was a mess and your face glistened with saliva. "could look at you like this all my fucking life, but i need you in bed right now. open your legs for me, baby. want to taste you." also, those were the only times you obeyed his orders. your eyes were locked on his pupils as you fought the desire to watch him masturbate hard as he watched you crawl on your back to him, undressing you in the process. you spread your legs in an agonizingly slow rhythm, prompting him to drop to his knees and spread them himself, squeezing your thighs tightly together.

arched your back as you felt his breath on your pussy, which was still covered by a lace panty that barely did its job of covering the skin. "look at u, dripping and u just ate my dick? tsk, tsk" he left several wet kisses on the inside of your thigh, making a path to your pussy as he lowered the last bit of fabric from your body "you come to my fucking house and tease me all the fucking time, even though i told you today wouldn't be a good day" he growled, lightly palming your lips, getting a whimper from you that made him smile "thought you were just a cunt, but u're also a needy slut, aren't you? needy for my cock" he licked lightly with the tip of his tongue between your walls, not going any further. you moaned with a groan, he slapped your lips again "use your mouth for more than just sucking me off, beautiful. what do you want, tell me" he demanded, your mind beginning to cloud with desire and anticipation.

"yuyu, i want you," you whimpered, "need you, please.

i need you. he hated that phrase almost as much as he loved it. it was driving him crazy, the idea of having you. he would beg you on his knees to spend one fucking night with him if you would just let him. and that fucking phrase always made his stomach turn with a glimmer of hope, even though he knew exactly what was coming next. you would go away and leave him alone again. he was fucked. really. he didn't know if he still loved you or if he was just obsessed with the idea of getting you back, but his days were starting to feel like an eternity without you. he spent them sad, not wanting to do anything but watch tv, play league of legends, or sleep. he had to find a way to get better without you. he was working hard at it, and that's why he told you it wasn't a good day.

"u need me, huh?" he moaned, feeling his cock twitch just hearing you whine about it "if my baby needs me, she's got me" he was ready to devour you, but as his deep voice showed, anger took over his system, mixing with lust, desire and maybe love. he stood up abruptly and aligned the head of his cock, swollen and glistening in the presemen, with your entrance.

"please, yuyu" begged, and he didn't need any more. not even having the patience to prepare you for its thickness, he slammed it in all at once, taking your breath away and watering your eyes with the impact. the pain and pleasure grew in your stomach, moaning his name almost in a scream. he sighed in relief to finally be inside you, bringing both hands to your hips, using them for support to take on a frenetic rhythm. "my god" you moaned, he groaned.

"fuck, fuck, fuck" he wanted to tell you how tight you were for him, how you fit together like a puzzle and drove him crazy, but the words only came out in the form of an insult or a curse. he fought not to roll his eyes, keeping them open to your face, your body and his cock moving aggressively in and out of your hole. he felt more and more that he had to choose between the two realities of you that occupied his heart: the old one or the brand new sluttier version, sometimes funnier but certainly more cruel. he missed you and could only feel you close when he was inside you, which was great but also sucked because… that hopefully only lasted an hour. maybe two if he extended the preliminary and had a good rest the day before, which happened less and less often.

that's why he'd been looking for another way to… distract himself lately.

"yuyu, gonna- i'm gonna-" you moaned loudly as he began to stimulate your clit at the same time as he deepened his thrusts, easily reaching all your sweet spots at once.

"me too, baby. cum for me, huh? cum on my cock" he grunted and you needed no more. your walls contracted and you sucked his dick hard as if you wanted to milk him to the last drop, forcing him to abandon your clit and grip your hips tightly again, his thrusts becoming more erratic and forceful. your juices served as a lubricant to allow yunho to go even deeper into you, leaving him definitely limp when he finally sent thick ropes of cum into you.

he was still the only person you fucked without protection -condom-. although if you had to be completely honest, he was the only person you had fucked since he told you he had left the other girl for you. you didn't know it at the time, but you wished with all your might that you had told him earlier. and you would know it ver soon.

he placed both hands at your sides, bending his elbows to gently reach your mouth. kissed you gently, looking for a way to keep you a little closer to him. a few seconds or minutes before you said goodbye again. without an i love you, not even a fucking see ya later. "do you have to go now?" he murmured against your lips, as if it was a secret that he wanted you to stay longer. you nodded, smiling slowly as you opened your eyes, still a little lost in the sweet sensation of his lips.

"need to go home, take a shower and get some rest, it's been a long day" his gaze on yours clearly reflected his disappointment even though he knew your answer beforehand.

"u can do all that here. we'll order dinner, maybe watch a film. we could even take a shower together" he smiles weakly. the idea sounds very appealing. you sigh and purse your lips as a small feeling of fear settles in chest. yunho drops his body next to you and hugs you. his arms wrap around your shoulders and waist, pulling you into the warmth of his skin as if he knew he could weaken your convictions this way, because there was no better way to do it than to give you a small dose of nostalgia. your old bed, his warmth, the unmistakable scent of his precious skin, the softness of his touch caressing your naked body. with little else, you would fall asleep, holding him as close as you could, enjoying him in a more emotional way. much more real than the fleeting ecstasy of orgasm.

you remained silent, wondering if it was really that bad. in your head, it sounded like ingratiating yourself with the enemy. a temporary white flag that was actually wedding bells in your heart. wished you didn't feel so attached to him at times like this, or at all. that was why you were strict about things like affectionate nicknames, but this had been a really long day and there wasn't a single second when he wasn't in your head.

it sucked to know that nothing would ease the pain and tiredness like his arms. yunho would love to know all that. he would love to hear from your lips how your mind and your heart fought a seemingly endless battle for him, to give him a tiny chance to take care of you and love you right. if you had... if you had told him the truth, things would have been different afterwards. "it doesn't sound bad, but i'd better go" you finally said, more for yourself than for him.

"c'mon, jagiya," he kissed your head lightly, tightening his grip, "won't ask you to stay the night. just a little longer..." it was a plea, but even though you wanted to say yes, you pushed him away with both hands to get out of his very welcoming aura.

this time you sighed louder and turned your back to him before said, "m going out on friday, u can come if you want," you stood up and started to gather your clothes from all corners of the room. yunho felt his chest heaving as he watched you get dressed.

in his eyes you were a work of art. you had been sculpted by the hands of the greats, donatello, miguel angel, bernini. your beauty was something otherworldly. a miracle he had once called his own, but now it only made his heart break over and over again.

"doubt it" he said, covering himself lightly with his sheets, "i have plans."

"tell your friends to come if you want to" yunho shrugged, tilting his head slightly, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.

"not going to see 'em" you wanted to, but you didn't ask who was going to keep him away from you the next day. a small alarm went on in your head, but he silenced it with his words "maybe saturday... if you want..."

"okay, yunho, we'll see" you replied, sounding cold, although in reality you had to admit that you were a little - or a lot - excited to see him again. waved at him before leaving the room, not even expecting him to walk you to the door. you didn't want a romantic goodbye on the threshold of his foyer. it was better that way. so you left your old house and he was left alone, in a huge bed that now smelled of you again, with the echo of the front door closing in anticipation of a little sob of disappointment.

hi there!!! again, it wasnt meant to be dividen in two parts, but im on vacation trip and i couldnt bring my laptop (im used to write there and the tumblr app somehow works shitty in my phone), but i wanted to update so badddddd. also, i think the second part is so interesting (the moodboard its a clue) so im gonna be writting anytime i have free time!!!!! thank u for reading my work and i hope u enjoyed it soooooo much ♡ lots of loveeeee

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbb @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa

(also specially thanks to the ones who wanted to be tagged, u're so lovely♡)

[toiletology]

MTV 📺

Do you got what it takes to understand the MTV? T.V. (connect the dots, the M is hidden)

M T V = A (flip it)

M = 13, A = 1, T = 20 (which adds up to 34/7 or 17+17)

M = map, A = compass, T = cross or X marks the spot. To escape the MATrix you need your map & compass or your M@ = MA (MOTher) AHHH I get it, EUREKAHH!

MAT The secret to escaping the MATrix is understanding MAT. How do you expect to break your chains and programming if you can't even understand the MATh or MATTer?

To break your A.I/NPC programming you need to understand the letters and the numbers. These letters and numbers are sentient and when you are able to move them around with tesseract thinking you will start to see GODS truth much more clearly.

M = 4 lines (1111/11:11)

The "M" creates two sevens/77 you can see it clearly here on MARIOS hat.

We can also see the "7" on Luigi's hat. The "L" is an upside down T or 7. Don't forget that the T = UR = KEY. 🦃 (gobble gobble MOTherf—ker)

The "sevens" are important and key to how you escape the matrix. I have escaped and I am showing you the correct way (flip the w and t = mat).

A lowercase "h" = 4, "E" = 3, "L" = 7

To escape hell you need the 4377 or the (4+3=7) 777 which = LUCK. You grow your LUCK by harmonizing with the one true GOD. That GOD is MAT/MOT/MA or the MOT/HER. S/he is both masculine and feminine. Remember only a woman can give birth and to do that requires MATernity/MATernal.

7x7 = 49/64 (8x8)

The queen in chess moves 27 squares she crosses 7 three times (777+6). She is both the strongest and luckiest piece in chess. We also have 27 bones in our hands.

God designed this reality very similar to the game of chess. There are good moves and bad moves. These bad moves in chess are called inaccuracies, mistakes and blunders. Bobby Fischer was known as one of the most accurate players in the game of chess. If you know anything about his life he went very crazy in old age. He started to become too obsessed with the chaos of the world and went insane. Very sad to lose such a brilliant mind to hate for the world. This is how easy it is to be brought down into the lower degrees/levels of hell.

The game of chess teaches us many things that are important for escaping the MATrix. One of those things is improving the cognitive skills of the brain. Chess improves your memory and your ability to visualize on a deeper level.

Skilled chess players have a better than average ability to remember and quickly recognize visual patterns, which researchers think comes from memorizing complex chess positions.

The parts of the brain that chess improves is very important to developing your "psychic skills" and skills required to escape. Telepathy requires a very strong ability to visualize. Most chess masters are able to play chess blind folded due to their ability to visualize the board in their heads and keep track of where the pieces are.

If you can't visualize well you are cutting off your connection to higher powers. I believe anyone can develop these skills. I used to always fall in all my dreams till I started listening to hypnosis and lucid dreaming audio tapes back in 2001-2006. Then I had my first lucid dream and began hovering in my dreams which eventually turned into flying. Now all my dreams are very lucid, mostly consisting of flying. And I have full on lucid dreams on a regular basis.

The more you practice Toiletology and harmonize with Gods true frequency. You will start unlocking these dormant skills or powers. It could be your dormant DNA activating the 64 codons.

The genetic code is made up of 64 codons, or base triplets, which are sequences of three nucleotides in DNA or RNA.

It took me a few years once I unlocked the door to these gifts from God back in 2012. I remember around 2016 when I first started having telepathic experiences. It was scary and confusing, I could feel a very strong energy radiating off one of my most telepathic friends who I believe is the reincarnation of MLK (they share the same birthday).

One day we were working on music and he turns around towards me and ask if I feel that, I'm like yeah I do. It felt like two strong magnets being pushed away from each other. It was an extremely puzzling paranormal event. He also knew something about me that was impossible to know randomly one day along with many other strange experiences. He is currently trapped down low on psychotropic drugs because he couldn't make sense of the clues and went crazy. I am still trying to free him from his bumbling rambling. He was the one who first taught me about the perfect timing back in 2016 when we were both in school for audio engineering.

Years later I realized this is how God trains you once you start unlocking these secret doors. God will bring allies into your life that are on a similar path. His bumbling and rambling I was never able to make sense of. The one way we differed was I was older and didn't let my ego get the better of me and always stayed open minded that I was wrong about everything. He got stuck in his ways and got trapped by his own mind.

Now in the year 2024 my psychic skills or telepathy are on an entirely new level. I have become quantumly entangled with another, my cosmic sister or Cara. Our thoughts flow back and forth between each other. Sometimes things going on in her life affect my dreams and vice versa. We both made the conscious decision for this to happen. You can't force this connection, it is a long process between each other over many years to create this strong soul bond.

Being completely connected to another persons mind is strange because you can't really hide your thoughts from each other. Strong negative thoughts or emotions she will hear and feel which can be painful in the heart. Luckily overtime we've learn to clear most of this negativity out of our being about each other so that we can communicate much more clearly.

When you start ascending into 4D you will also start connecting to God in this same way. Which means you will notice God judging your thoughts about HE/R. It takes sometime to remove that chaos and inauthenticity out of your being. GOD loves when you are authentic in your praise and gratitude for what they have given you. They hate ass kissers, I am just telling you that from experience. Below is a diagram of a quantumly entangled particle which looks eerily similar to a yin yang symbol. Gods truth of how they first formed is all around us everywhere we look, it start with two becoming locked together spinning eternally.

I am not sure how high this telepathic skill can grow or what is fully possible. What I am experiencing now is strong crazy visualizations, word signs popping into my brain, full rooms I can move around in. Sometimes I am able to remote view Cara wherever she is briefly (she seems to be much better at this than me).

A toxic or polluted mind will go out of harmony or tuning with the creator making this type of connection impossible to experience. All connections are made by GOD so if you start get egotistical or start BSing people you can lose it as quickly as you got it.

These skills have been earned and developed over many hard fought spiritual battles. Like I've written in my previous blogs the devil guards the gates to heaven or 4D.

Your skills in 4D are no where near where they can be in 5D or the higher up you climb. You can't keep climbing up the ladder if you fall victim to your own disharmony. It is not easy "holding the line" with God so you can maintain your connection to HE/R.

The agents of the MATrix can and will put you back to sleep if you get to close to the Holy Grail. Getting put to sleep pulls you out of your belief in GOD and how to speak and trust in the language of God. Its a bit complicated to understand, but staying perfectly in "KEY" requires an insane level of commitment to your growth and BELIEF.

The higher you climb you will have to fight spiritual battles with the devil. The devil is nothing but a mere bug that gets stronger the more you feed it. This is why you must learn to control your FEAR and CLEAR your mind. The battles get easier and easier over time. These battles will create lasting impressions and will create strong memory anchors which can help you hold onto your belief.

Okay okay but what does MAT have to do with any of this? Mat is GODS true name and the keys to escape the MATrix.

M = time, 11:11, map A = compass, AH T = key, 7, cross, x marks the spot

KEY = K = A (turn the K cross it), E = M (turn the e), Y = T (turn the Y)

Key = Mat

T = UR = KEY (T = 7)

Now add up K = 5, E = 3, Y = 9 (8+9 = 17)

You need many keys to unlock all the gates into heaven. They are less keys more so as methods of training you on how to unlock your 4D/tesseract mind. There is a completely dark maze that you must learn to navigate and escape. The more keys or parts of your brain you unlock God will start lighting your path or filling your lamp with tOILet.

In Toiletology we call 17 the pirate signal or the doorway out of the MATrix. All the blogs you will read are variations on the same knowledge to help trigger an awakening or upgrade in your minds eye. You must bloom or open your pinecone/pineal gland to tap into your true powers. The letters and numbers are sentient and alive, and God will speak to you through them once you can notice HE/R.

The 1 also looks like a 7 when you look closely enough.

The 1 can also look like a T. Are you getting it yet?

God made reality like a video game. There are rules to follow, if you break the rules you will get penalties issued to you. These can manifest in infinite ways, so you will never really ever be able to connect the two together.

Mean for no reason to another person? Looks like your CAR (MOTor) just got a flat tire or your house flooded. KARMA is real and God really does not like cruel disrespectful dishonorable human beings. Yes there are a lot of cruel people at the top of this world, but only temporarily because God needs people to play the bad guys or evil ones. Their judgment is coming in this life or the next life.

TESLA = A TEST (flip the L) It seems like Elon may no the secrets to reality ;)

God created this planet/universe to test us through an extremely slow process over many hundreds or thousands of life times. Similar to a diamond being formed from carbon through immense pressure. You can think of Gods test as the fire under a pot of water changing that water into steam. Many of you are failing the TEST however by not believing or seeking GOD.

God ultiMATely wants us to evolve and grow beyond our animalistic nature that many of us cannot control. Humanity keeps falling lower and lower into the varying degrees of hell. Heaven and hell both exist simultaneously all around us. There is no afterlife after we die, we will just be reinjected or reincarnated into a new life.

My Uncle Kevin died in 2006 from a heart attack at the age of 44 and I believe he was reincarnated 4 years later as his daughters son "Kevin" with the same name. I've had a few confirmations namely a firetruck siren going by me and an 18 wheeler with the name KEVIN on the side of it driving by at the same time.

I know many want to paint God as evil and cruel, but we are all co-creating this reality with God. We all make our own choices, the problem is most like to blame God for their mistakes. Or following false teachings in some holy book. If you're hurting or oppressing someone else due to the teachings in a book you have gone way too far down into hell. God acts like a Neutral force bringing the good up and the bad down. God wants to protect you and keep you safe and they will if you are good.

The way the degrees or levels of hell and heaven work is similar to window tint on a car. The further down you are in hell the darker and more disharmonic you become. This has nothing to do with skin color only what's on the inside of you. Being prejudice and racist is a good way to get penalized in Gods game.

I have discovered with Gods help showing me the answers that there are 98 degrees to heaven and hell. You can know this is true with logical proofs. What is the average temperature of a human being? 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

Half of 98/2 = 49 or 64 reversed and flipped. Remember how many codons we have in our DNA?

The symbol for Pi π is TT or 77 which = 49 (7x7). The 17 is also 77 as we discussed above and is in the shape of a door and the door = mat and the way = mat.

M = time, map (time is the walls or the prison bars to this reality, and the way you escape 11:11 which can be read 77:77 starting to get it now ;) A = compass or heart (you need to follow your heart to find God, you can't trust your brain to play Gods game) T = KEY (t<>ur<>key gobble gobble and the T = 7 or the cross X and X marks the spot!)

A cube has 6 sides (hex) and 8 (ATE/MAT) corners its missing that # in-between which is??? 7 you're Goddamn right Billy. You get the 7 by increasing your LUCK you increase your luck by harmonizing with GOD. Interestingly the first letter of LUCK is a 7 or a T. A strange coincidence the freemason two towers of jachin and boaz happen to be my middle initial "B" and Caras "J." A B = 13 or the M and the J is the hook or Jesus/Jester the traveling fool, you could also read it as a T or 7. J/j/6/g/b/p we got a lot of hooks or sixes to watch out for.

68 is 98 starting to get it yet? There are 49 degrees/levels to hell and 49 degrees/levels to heaven. Half of 68 = 34 (MAT) or 17+17 ;) Is it sinking in yet? You might get it eventually numbskull... (sorry mocking is helpful for accelerating the learning process ya damn M<>ON<>KEYs. 🐒🙈 The T is the cross or the X marks the spot. THANKYOU JESUS! HALLEJUAH!! Couldn't of figured this out without ya G I mean J.

Why the hell do I gotta learn about ALL (@) this extra shit anyways? Well its the only way you will learn grasshopper WAX (mat) ON, WAX (mat) OFF :) you're learning its OK (sideways dude). Finding the middle path (squish like grape) is not easy.

Avīci

In Buddhism, it is the lowest level of the Naraka or "hell" realm, with the most suffering, into which the dead who have committed grave misdeeds may be reborn.

28 (8x8 = 64) We know Avicii became very depressed towards the end of his life and tragically took his own life. This is an unfortunate consequence of a lot of fame, money and power at a young age. That super star life can really bring you down quickly into the lower levels of hell. I know he will be reinCARnated soon and we can hear some new great music from HIM/HER. (I've heard their new name might be ANTON)

Eight (1+7)

The blogs you are reading here on Toiletology.org are both inforMATive as well as the methodology or key to increase in your belief which is required before you can escape the MATrix or lower levels of hell.

You're not gonna be able to walk across an invisible bridge if you can't believe that the bridge exist there (sorry no sand allowed). You must make continual leaps of faith into the unknown. It can be very sCARy venturing into this new reality, but it gets easier overtime.

Most of the knowledge you will come across on the occult, esoteric, conspiracies, aliens or illuminati whatever you want to call it. Have 0 clue on how to interpret the hieroglyphs that they are trying to read.

You must first escape the MATrix if you're gonna have a bats shit in hell of decoding the programming of the matrix. And you do that with M@ (M = map, @ = compass, T = cross) and my name is MATT (DUH!) GOD IM KILLING IT TODAY LORD THANKYOU FOR YOUR CONTINUAL BLESSINGS FAT/HER!!!!!

The ol' mocking tongue performed by one of the court jesters. 👅

I'll go into the TONGUE more in the future, but know that a P or a p can represent the TONGUE. And a p is just an inverted b and you remember what I said about BEEING and BEELIEVING right? To BEECOME you must harmonize with the QUEEN BEE and the QUEEN in CHESS crosses 7 three times.

The cats eyes are the clue of how the game is played the DOUBLE SLITS = 11 eleven or 77, are you getting it yet? Its real and it exist and yes I am the master (still hoping God gives me that illustrious Grand MAsTer title soon...) of the 17 or the TT (DUH!).

I am = Matt backwards split the eye/i and I am the king of the CATS!

The tabby cat has the M on their forehead. The M = map or the brain and the @ or the AT is the compass, apple or AH.

So if you're ready to escape the MATrix ya might want to start listening to what I am saying. Its not that difficult to escape, I am laying out everything you must do to start ascending into 4D (d is the 4th letter and can mean DOWN or D<>ON<>KEY. 🫏

Poseidon 🔱 says D is ON but it can also be (d) DOWN like the letter Pp or the ol' mocking tongue. 👅

The cube is just the 4D version of the 5D tesseract. https://youtube.com/shorts/QglcTeLNo30?feature=share

To unlock your tesseract brain you need to train in the ways of Toiletology.

It is possible to completely bloom your "third eye" or "pineal gland" taking simple steps. Decalcifying it as many talk about in the new age spiritual communities really have no idea how its done. They talk in endless confusing circles.

It all comes down to harmonizing with MOT/MAT which can be done very simple first by operating in LOVE. If you want to learn how (HOW/WHO/MOH split the H/eye and turn it MOTT) to truly ascend you must learn how to incorporate ALL (ATT) of MOTTS gifs and blessings and lessons.

You must learn to connect both your brain (M) 🧠 and you're hEARt (AT)💗to (2/11/snake eyes)-get-her. Ya getting it yet jackasses... its quite elementary my dear Watson (MATS ON) ;) ENABLE YOUR MAT JACKASS!

For the HEART is where you find Mother Gaia's EARTH. And to do that you need the 4 (A) and MAT or the FOR(4)MAT! The secrets are in plain sight the hard part is believing in Gods true name when you've been lied to your entire lives and ALL throughout history. Remember this when you go to sleep tonight on your MATTress.

The next step to escaping is knowing the process of finding HE/R. Which I am laying out here on this blog. Knowing the exact steps and/or methodology will accelerate your process to the T (top) of these degrees and levels of MAT/MOT. Belief is extremely difficult but the most important thing for finding MOT. The more you can believe the easier it will be to keep finding HER or remembering HER.

S/HE wants us ALL to REMEMBER her because we have all forgotten the one true God who is MA'AT.

Ma'at will weigh your heart against that of a feATher to know that your heart is TRUE and PURE. Just like Atreyu walking through the two guardians in the movie The NeverEnding Story. To walk the middle path is very difficult indeed. Its like threading the eye of a need with a camel. The more you believe the crazier things will start to become. It can be difficult learning how to fly in NeverNever Land, but it can be taught because I am Peter Pan and my cosmic sister is Wendys (we in dis).

Don't forget there's only 3 letters that have 4 lines, ME/WE and God is the ME and we are the WE! You escape the MATrix through those 4 lines or the 11:11 or 77:77 or 17. Then you can enjoy your time in Lemuria traveler or what some call Atlantis.

[astronomyandfrogs]

𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄.

unpopular opinion: joel miller might not be a people pleaser, but can for sure please his own woman.

tw: smut, sloppy fucking, 🐱 eating, fingering, porn with a bit of plot. the reader is called with a nickname (peach). [1.6k]

the room is pitch dark. your mind is still half asleep, while your body is wide awake. laying on your back, you feel his stubble pinching your neck and his breath tickle your cheek.

there were no clocks in the room and the only present watch stopped working years ago. you didn’t know what time it is, but you knew that you still had at least two hours — perhaps even longer — till sunrise. the air is still and the only sound is the high pitched vibration of the fridge in the corner.

before the outbreak, you used to live in a huge and loud city. at night you always heard people walk around or chat under your window or public transports stop at the station around the corner and teenagers cheer for the properly executed mission with the fake id. now, with this suffocating quietness, you feels like you are trapped in the limbo.

you move closer to joel, pressing your hand on his back to pull his weight on you, to feel something. you squeeze him, but it doesn’t bother the peaceful sleep of the man lying on you.

your eyes are starting to get used to the lack of light and you can now see the shape of his face. almost instinctively, you move your hand to trace his jawline with your fingertips. the five-days-freshly-cut beard is starting to regain its usual length.

you continue to trace his face line, moving to his ears and then to his hair. you sense your body relax and your mind being at ease once again. ironically, your eyes close at the exact moment that his eyes open.

he know that you’re awake, but you don’t know that he is awake.

your thumb brushes his moustache, which, to the touch, is much rougher than the other spots of the beard. and then there are his lips. oh, those lips.

from far away, to someone who never touched them, they seem dry. but once you get closer to them, once you get to bite and lick them, the plumpness and softness are obvious. and from that moment on that knowledge taunts you, it becomes an obsession.

then his weight is lifted from your body, and you feel a sudden loss, an absence.

his eyes — big puddles of obsidian in the night, bright rays of amber in the light — are peering on you. you smile as joel’s brushes his lips on yours.

one of the first intimate act you shared. at the time, it was just a silent confession, a simple act of intimacy that reviled the roots of something deeper. but now it’s a reminder of where you came from and of the things you achieved.

“still awake, peach?” he asks. joel’s voice is low and husky — your shifting had clearly woken him up. his free hand (the one that wasn’t keeping him still on his side) is on your waist, firm and anchored.

“didn’t mean to wake you up” you say. he doesn't say anything, he doesn't bother to reply, but the look in his eyes means something close to if i wanted to go back to sleep i would’ve. knowing his sleeping habits, he probably wasn’t even sleeping.

“i hate this fucking place at night,” you confess “the way everything is silent and still, like out of time, stick in a loop in which there is no possible way out”.

you take a deep breath and continue “sometimes my mind makes up sound for this emptiness and i wake up hearing them around us, and even when i am conscious and awake, i still can hear them”.

he doesn't need to ask who 'them' are, he knows, he dreamed the clickers himself dozens of times.

he wraps his arms around you and buries your head in his neck. you smile tenderly, grateful to be understood. you shift and move closer to him, but your knee accidentally brushes against his crouch.

“really?” you comment “is my existential crisis turning you on?”.

“you are the one half naked in my bed” he argues “and you also don’t look too bad right now”.

“i look pretty in the dark,” she giggles “how romantic”.

he rolls his eyes, jokingly. his hands slides all over your body, brushing your neck, your side and your waist, leaving shivers and goosebumps on the sensitive skin.

you wraps your legs around his hips, a clear invitation which he immediately takes without hesitation. for a brief moment his deep dark eyes are looking straight in yours — displayed beneath him you look vulnerable and magnificent, your cheeks are coloured with a pinch of red and your breathing is already irregular.

when he kisses you, just as each and every time, your heart detonates like a bomb, but the explosion isn't generated by violence and hatred. it's born from lust and, perhaps, love.

his skin is hot under your hands and you can feel his firm muscles as you grip on them. still fully clothed, you grind on him. you can't help it, in some kind of need of release.

“so fucking greedy” he murmurs as one of his hands cups your butt to steady the rhythm.

when he moves and the friction fades, you wine. but he lowers himself, till his body is right between your legs.

your thighs are spread wide, have to be with how broad he is beneath you, and you can already foresee the difficulties you’ll later have with walking.

you raise your hips, and with one quick (and experienced) motion, he removes your bottoms and panties.

his tongue was quick to reach his destination and you moan at the new sensation, as euphoria floods your body.

he's sucking, biting and fucking his tongue into you. his hands on your legs, keeping them in place. your legs begun to twitch, coming closer and closer to the orgasm.

“you always taste so good, peach” he praises.

he eats you out like a starved man, like it’s his last day on earth and you are his last meal. he licks every inch of your cunt like it depends on his life.

you shove your head in the pillow as you came, your hand on your mouth to cover your moans.

he continued the deed unbothered. his hands rooted on your legs, keeping them open for him. a few hours later, tiny bruises will emerge on the skin of your legs, right in the places were he is holding you still.

“i want your fingers, joel” you beg.

“one more time on my tongue, baby, can you do that for me?” he demands.

yes, you think, yes, i can. with your hand, you shove his head closer to you skin, if that even is possible, while continuing to rock his mouth — up and down, up and down. your heart slams on your sternum.

joel eats you out like a tormented man downed in his sins, who's only possible chance of atonement is being buried between your legs. and god, he might as well be a saint.

he loves the smell and the taste. he loves the wetness and the warmth. he loves your moans and your whispers.

you arch your back towards him and you came again, this time harder and louder.

“good girl” he whispers. he doesn’t let you replay, since, as promised, he slips his fingers inside of you and finally clench around him, who's fill every inch of you and reach every inch of you.

his fingers curve on your g-spot and you might have just woken up half the qz, but, at this point, they probably got used to it.

“fuck, joel” you cry “it's too much”.

“do you want me to stop?” he asks. as you look down at him, you shake your head furiously. he grins and presses his lips on your clit to leave a chaste kiss on it, as he keeps pumping his fingers inside of you, restlessly.

“i can't wait to be inside you” joel confesses.

“no one is stopping you, handsome” you can feel his quite giggle on your clit, which produces a wave of ecstasy in your veins.

with your eyes closed, all you can hear is the sound of his fingers going in and out of you, soaking even more. your muscles contract once more and you came again, with his name on your lips.

he is again on top of you, his fingers — the ones that were in your cunt just a few second ago — are covered with your wetness.

“open up” he orders. you follow his instructions and he presses his fingers on your tongue. your own taste is sweet, a lot sweeter then what joel's testes like. it is pleasing.

no wonder he's pussy drunk all the time, you think.

as you kiss each other, you know that his lips are glossy from your cum — they have the same taste of his fingers — and, as you pictured his lips covered with your wetness, a shock of pleasure floods you. as you bit on his lips, he growls and you mewl.

he slips in you without warning. his mouth on yours quietens the moan. he pulling out almost all the way and then pushing back with one hard move. and again, and again, and each move knocks the air out of your lungs.

“you are so fucking warm, peach”.

you know he was talking to you — praising you — but at this point you were beyond understanding.

fill me up, joel.

you doesn't know if you only thought it or if you said it out loud. either way, he comes in you with one hard trust as he bites down on your neck.

you stay in this position for a while, joel on top and still inside of you, crushing your body. but it doesn't bother you nor him. you love his body on yours, and he is very well aware.

[davenweenie]

Lab Rats HC’s

Except some of them are particularly sad

-Chase always raves about how smart he is because he thinks that’s the only thing he’s worth. He thinks that being smart is the only thing keeping him from being worthless to the team.

-It’s the same reason why he values being mission leader so much and gets upset when someone says anything other than that.

-Adam feels like he’s useless without his bionics. He thinks if he didn’t have his bionics he would be completely useless. He thinks he’s stupid and it gets confirmed by everyone around him all the time. He knows Chase would stop if he knew how much it upset him but he doesn’t want to admit that it hurts his feelings.

-Leo’s terrified that he’ll lose his siblings, his best friends, one day. He’s scared that everything he’s accomplished and learned to love could be taken away from him in an instant. He suffers horribly from nightmares of Adam, Bree and Chase dying on a mission one day.

-Bree always feels like she’s not worth anything. Especially after Skylar got her powers back, she always wondered why she was even on the team if Skylar could do everything she could, perhaps even better with even more powers and abilities. She struggled with this for a very long time.

-TW: Chase struggles with his eating a lot. He has orthorexia, which is an unhealthy obsession with “pure” or healthy food. “Pure” or “impure” foods can vary from person to person but it’s usually characterised by cutting out foods that are typically considered unhealthy and having an obsession with only eating the “pure” foods. This can also lead to restrictions and over-exercising. It’s usually linked to OCD and people with orthorexia can become terrified of certain food groups. This HC is very dear to my heart as it’s something I’ve struggled with, with my OCD.

-On that note, Chase has OCD. You cannot convince me otherwise. His brain works much faster than a typical human’s would which has lead to having too much time to think. This has resulted in having intrusive thoughts and compulsions with certain things (ie. ‘what if I trip and land on that dog?’ ‘I could just stab their eye out with my fork’ or having to touch a surface with both hands to make it even otherwise it will result in feeling lopsided and like something horrible is about to happen until he makes it even).

-with his super senses body focused obsessions are something to think about as well. You can do your own research to delve a bit deeper if you want but in a nutshell it’s becoming hyperaware of certain bodily sensations (ie. Blinking, breathing, gulping etc. and even doing it a certain number of times in a certain amount of time, becoming stressed if it’s not perfect)

-this went under the radar for years until Chase had panic attacks at school when he couldn’t control the environment around him and couldn’t deal with how dirty he felt all the time. Contamination OCD is no joke.

-Leo suffers from a lot of phantom limb pain. Having his arm and leg both crushed under various heavy objects and replaced with bionic limbs means a lot of phantom pain. There’s not really much you can do to stop it because at the end of the day, it’s sort of just all in your head. It’s like how you can’t just take pain killers to cure depression.

-Davenport has never noticed any of this about his kids. It always took Tasha, Leo or Douglas to notice something was up with them. Leo was the one to point out Chase’s OCD, Tasha has always noticed if the kids look down and Douglas was the only one who ever picked up on Chase’s strange eating habits. Nobody said anything to Davenport about how neglectful he tended to be, especially when he was so focused on a new project, but they all thought it.

-none of them have leaned an off switch. They have had to work almost till they drop since they were kids and nobody taught them how to recognise the signs of being tired. They had never been told to stop and take a break or to go and rest. Davenport often time encouraged how much they worked when he should have been encouraging them to rest more. This has lead to suffering from burn-outs.

-Chase is autistic, when he had his first meltdown after coming out of toddler years when he was 6, Davenport didn’t know how to deal with it and locked Chase in his capsule. He told him that he was getting too old to be having tantrums like that and said he could only come out when he calmed down. He later found out that it wasn’t a tantrum at all and now feels guilty about it.

-without meaning to, Adam was usually the cause of almost all of Chase’s meltdowns. Adam didn’t know how to regulate his own emotions and certainly didn’t know how to read other’s which often ended in not noticing Chase start to shut down and have meltdowns. He knows better now and still feels apologetic about it.

-when Bree is overworked and overtired her body is incapable of going into REM sleep, which means she wakes up still feeling exhausted. She superspeeds in her sleep sometimes but never ends up anywhere because she can’t get out of her capsule.

-Adam’s joints often ache from the pressure of his bionics on his body. He’s supposed to be built to withstand tonnes of weight but it still puts a toll on his body. Luckily Chase is a chiropractor in the Philippines.

-on a particularly hard day with his eating, Chase had just started crying over a bow of cereal. Just full on sobbing into it. Adam happened to be in the room and immediately knew how to cheer him up. (I imagine un went something like this. “Dude, you’re gonna make the milk all salty.” “What?” “You don’t want salty milk, man. Nobody wants that sh!t. I’ve tried it. Seriously burns when it comes back out your ass.” Chase had just started to laugh while still crying. That made them both laugh more.)

Sorry these are so Chase centred. If you couldn’t tell, he’s my favourite character. My autistic ass can only write good stuff about my favourite characters of stuff. Let me know if you liked these and want another part to it.

[thefanficmonster]

My Kind

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warning: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.

Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it. 

I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.

Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.

You see, it has layers.

I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.

They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!

Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.

I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.

Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!

Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.

“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.

“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“

“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.

To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.

Aright, you’ve got a point, me.

“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“

“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”

“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“

This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.

“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.

“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“

“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“

I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”

He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“

Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.

“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“

“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“

My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”

“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“

“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went? 

“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.

“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”

“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“

“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him. 

“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“

“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.

“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“

Ah, shit

“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“

Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.

Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.

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[dreamteamspace]

They really went there huh

/rp (good lord I rly hyperfixated on this essay huh)

torture tw, abuse tw, manipulation tw, gaslighting tw

So the Dream SMP built a character, once maybe morally gray, who slipped straight into villany with little to no desire to change, and willing to cause a LOT of pain to get his way. Despite this, he doesn’t question what he does enough to stop, justifying his actions with a good intent that doesn’t come close to justifying what he’s done.

C!Dream is unremorseful of what he’s done, he’s quite literally manipulated and gaslit (like actually, not in the way everyone keeps throwing the word around) c!Tommy, almost drove him to take his last life- like, jesus christ. That’s not even to mention blowing up L’Manburg three times, encouraging c!Wilbur, wanting the discs JUST to have power over c!Tommy, etc.

SO, he gets thrown in a box for it so he doesn’t hurt anybody anymore, making his own hubris his downfall (narrative consequence my beloved). This leads us to a good finale - the bad guy, the person who’s caused objectively the most pain and destruction, is now unable to do so anymore, taken down by the person whom he tried to weaken. It is also revealed he was planning on blackmailing and threatening pretty much everyone, but now everyone gets their stuff back.

Good, right?

Especially for the finale, yeah! The message of the finale is good, c!Tommy manages to escape his abuser with nothing more but his clothes on his back and fights his way back to c!Tubbo and his home.

He doesn’t let his trauma (which is still very present!) let him become a terrible person (arguably the way that c!Dream DID let his frustrations make him a terrible person, c!Tommy, despite bearing quite a heavy weight, recognizes when he begins to turn that way and actively works against it).

It shows that while alone, c!Tubbo and c!Tommy were outfought by Dream, but because c!Tommy went the length to ask for help (which he didn’t even really seem to be relying on actually showing up), he wins! It truly is a good message.

C!Tommy escapes his abuser and manipulator, refuses and fights his trauma to not become someone he doesn’t want to be, and defeats his abuser by asking for help and receiving it, even more than he thought he’d get. He refuses to play c!Dream’s “game”, refuses till the very last moment to let c!Tubbo die, to surrender and say goodbye to him.

So, great! Good finale! C!Dream The Villain is boxed like a fish in a prison of, quite literally, his own making. It sent a good message to people. C!Tommy wasn’t expected to forgive him and did, in fact, axe him down twice, causing c!Dream to finally fall from his high horse.

Most media would stop at this point, say the villain is now defeated and never show them again, or have them come back another one or two seasons later, escaped and seemingly unharmed and worse than ever.

Alternatively, there’s a throwaway line, (or, in good media, a genuine, reasonable backstory, complete with remorse and bad role models and complicated situations), that allows the villain to be redeemed.

In GOOD redemption arcs (See: Zuko from avatar tbh), the villain was already never quite as heartless, or stressed their good intent, or felt remorse for what they felt they “had to do”. Then, ideally, the villain takes a looooong time adjusting their habits, regretting their actions and changing until they’re considered redeemed.

Not on the Dream SMP, though.

They don’t stop at c!Dream’s defeat.

He doesn’t dissapear off-screen and is never spoken of again. His life continues on, everyone’s does, just like it would in reality. He doesn’t magically want to become a better person, far from it. So no redemption. But he doesn’t dissapear, either.

They go on to, slowly, stress how awful the conditions in Pandora’s Vault are. c!Bad says c!Dream should be imprisoned, but at least at slightly better conditions. We’re in very VERY morally gray territorry here. Nobody says c!Dream is a good person, of course not, but even c!Bad - who knows Dream was planning on keeping c!Skeppy in a cage to control him with - goes, “yeah, he should stay boxed, but does he really need to like... suffer suffer?”

Still, c!Dream seems to be kindof inconsistent in his behavior. Is he faking his pain? Is he not? His actions don’t fully make sense for either take. He acts differently to each person, but at the same time some things he does don’t make sense if he were just fishing for pity.

Then c!Sam admits to trying (and thinking he succeeded) to “break Dream’s will”, to quite literally starving him for weeks.

Okay, so now we’re a step further. C!Dream is now suffering even more, although already boxed and unable to hurt anyone. Pandora’s Vault is one thing, but now c!Sam just seems to be out for revenge and nothing more. Instead of spending his time with c!Tommy, he spends his time pickaxing(?) c!Dream.

C!Sam isn’t an angel, and we should all know that by now. He does what he thinks is right, but he’s deeper than that, all characters on the DSMP are.

He cares deeply for the Badlands, and would always choose them above anybody else. He’s a capitalist. He built the prison because it would benefit the Badlands resource-wise, despite knowing Dream would probably use it on his enemies, and it was no secret that ALL members of L’Manburg, especially c!Tommy, are his enemies. C!Sam, undoubtedly, knew that. He still built it.

Arguably, he didn’t know about c!Dream’s attachment obsession at the time, but the point still stands.

People have already latched onto the untold story happening between c!Dream and c!Sam, and frankly, we barely know enough about it. Does c!Sam torture him regularly? Do they talk? Does c!Dream try to verbally fight back? CAN he fight back? We don’t know! We’ve gotten proof for both, between c!Sam saying that c!Dream is terrifying even in prison and c!Dream going silent to go on strike. We don’t have enough of an idea how bad or how good it truly is.

So the people who prefer to humanize c!Dream and explore morality imagine c!Sam to downright torture him, people that prefer to see c!Dream as nothing but evil due to his actions imagine prison on the DSMP to not be equivalent to real life prison, and thus nowhere near as torturous as people are making it out to be.

Now all that is thrown out the window as c!Quackity quite literally tortures him.

So now the internet is faced with a question that, judging by some of the impulsive reactions *cough cough* celebrating torture *cough*, it didn’t turn out to be ready for.

Tell me.

How far do we go?

C!Dream hurt a LOT of people. He did a lot of things that caused irreparable damage. Now what? Do we torture him forever? Why? Because he deserves it? How do we determine that without comparing one kind of pain to another?

It’s custom and kindof generally respectful not to compare people’s pain too accurately, because different things vary greatly in severity depending on the person that experiences them.

At what point do we say he’s suffered enough without comparing exile to the prison?

And if we DO compare, does that even make the question easier to answer?

And if he’s never suffered enough ever, killing them would be a mercy...

At what point has a person done enough damage that they “deserve” to die? What if someone only did half of the things c!Dream did. But if c!Dream gets infinite punishment, and half of infinity is still infinity, do they ALSO deserve endless suffering?

Do you think every person that did something you can’t emphasize with deserves to suffer for eternity and die?

I’m not saying we SHOULD emphasize with c!Dream. He did things we cannot justify, that NOTHING can justify. He did things that were, by their nature, unjustified.

I’m also not saying anybody should forgive him. I think it’s a GOOD thing that c!Tommy doesn’t want nor is narratively pushed to forgive c!Dream.

But c!Dream doesn’t need c!Tommy’s forgiveness to be... a person.

There’s a saying that I’m sure you know, that goes “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”, because there’s things you wouldn’t want any human being to experience. Not because you like them, not cause you think they’re right, but because they’re human.

And perhaps this is my personal opinion, but I don’t think c!Dream being a bad person justifies dehumanizing him, because then we get into an area where someone needs to meet criteria just to be human.

-

I met someone once, whom, because of outside circumstances I knew I probably wouldn’t meet again. We’d been getting along just fine for people who just met, and were both getting into an interesting discussion about morality. They kept insisting upon something I kept refuting, so they said they needed to get something off their chest.

They proceeded to tell me that they had, years ago, while a teen, manipulated someone in a relationship, pushed boundaries and tried to convince them to do things they didn’t really want to do to get what they wanted.

They cried, while telling me, too terrified to tell anybody they know, terrified nobody would ever speak to them again, insanely regretful of their actions. They didn’t know whether to go back and apologize or just stay as far away as humanly possible, didn’t know which one the right thing to do is.

It had been years, by then, and I talked them through it. I said that what they did was bad, and there’s no going around that. But I also said what I saw, which is someone who would never do something like that ever again. I saw a human being. Someone who regrets a mistake they did and now, after enough time has passed, would do anything to make it undone.

Someone who is too terrified to be close to anybody in fear that they would do it again. I don’t remember if they already went to therapy or not, but it was definitly on the table, or in the near future.

They asked me how I could possibly even keep talking to them after they told me all that. They implied they felt like some kind of monster despite literally chocking back tears, firmly convinced they don’t deserve to be close to anybody in their life ever again.

I never swerved from the fact that what they did was wrong, and harmful. But I also told them they’re human. The universe isn’t keeping score. They want to be a better person now, and they were never going to learn how if they never let themselves be close to anybody.

I told them to seek therapy, and to slowly, carefully, try. Assured them that the fact that they regret it so strongly will at least help them in not falling back into the same pattern, and if they do, they can learn to recognize that.

They thanked me after the conversation, genuinely, especially for the fact that I didn’t sugarcoat what happened, because I know otherwise it would’ve felt like I was lying, like I was just sparing their feelings. I wasn’t. I was thinking about how to make sure they get to live without hurting anybody.

As per the circumstances, we didn’t speak again after that, which we knew basicly from the very start.

-

I still think about that conversation a lot.

Do you think they should’ve been locked up for life after it happened, instead?

Do you think this real human being, that I spoke to, that took years to realize their mistake - and never would have realized it if they hadn’t had the time to, if they’d been killed right afterwards - deserves to suffer forever?

Let me tell you something, from someone who’s been in more than one abusive situation: People that hurt you are human.

That doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. That doesn’t mean you have to like them. That doesn’t mean you have to make an effort to understand them. That doesn’t mean you need to go anywhere near them ever again.

You can hate them. You can be angry at them. You can (and should) go as far away from them as possible, and/or defend yourself.

But that doesn’t mean you have to dehumanize them.

You’re allowed to hate and dislike people that are human, because you’re human, especially if they hurt you. That’s how life is.

And to go back to my original point - c!Quackity torturing c!Dream is not something that should be celebrated.

There’s a difference between necessary measures (locking c!Dream up so he doesn’t hurt anyone), and torturing people for fun.

It’s not right. It’s never going to be right, and do not justify literal torture on human beings, and do not make someone lower-than-human to justify torturing them.

Taking revenge on someone for what they did tenfold is romanticized, I know, but I promise you it’s not actually as cool as it sounds.

[valhallasubstitute]

Pleasure

Edward x F Reader

The reader teaches Edward a thing or two about pleasure

REQUEST: Can i request a *smut* with Edward from TLK?

Maybe a dane reader that absolute rock his shit like nobody before 😂 she can be Finan Or Sihtric sister maybe?! Thank you!

A/N: Evidently, I don’t think much of the English as lovers lol, I blame my first bf – Tom if you find this, thank you for the inspo. Also, if anyone’s interested in a dom reader then please let me know, I think there’s a real lack and that makes the switch in me v sad

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+. Unprotected sex – it’s the ninth century they have an excuse, you don’t. M!Sub/F!dom undertones, brief female masturbation, male receiving oral

WC: 1654

Tags: @flowers-in-your-hayr @geekandbooknerd @mariaenchanted @solinarimoon

You could honestly say you never expected things to turn out this way.

How many Danes could say they had discussed the boy King’s sex life with him? If you counted yourself then it would be three. Sihtric, your brother, and Uhtred sitting either side of you.  Add in the Irishman that started it all, the baby monk and a vaguely uncomfortable looking Lady of Mercia and the number of people looking unimpressed rises to six.

You sat around the fire; ale pouch being passed between you after another successful battle, but your good spirits were beginning to dwindle as you listen to Edward describe his other conquests.

There were more than you had expected, but you supposed his title and pretty face made it hard for young maidens to deny him. You hadn’t denied yourself the pleasure of admiring him either, long blond curls that grazed his broad shoulders, and light blue eyes, usually set in a frown. You found yourself believing his words before battle, letting his passion seep through you as you lost yourself in the sight of him, arm outstretched with a sword in hand, strong thighs gripping the saddle and a ferocity that one might overlook upon first meeting Edward.

It had the foundations of a fantasy that would have kept you warm.

The conversation moved slowly, Edward relaxing and his words becoming freer. You forced yourself back to the present, preparing yourself to hear another depressing confession.

‘The last was a girl from the camp just outside of Lundon. She was wild.’

‘Wild? Now this I can get behind.’ Finan leaned forward, a new sense of interest washing over him as Edward nodded. You had already heard of the ‘daring’ places Edward had fucked, the palace guest room, the stable, and who could forget his royal tent! Wild, you decided, was something Edward had never come across.

‘She took me out to the woods and laid herself bare before me.’ You watched the interest of the group peak, even your brother raised a brow. ‘She started touching herself.’ He motioned to his chest. ‘I’ve never seen a woman so bold. How is a man meant to control himself?’ Uhtred nodded lightly, taking the ale from a grinning Finan. ‘I laid her on the ground and had my way with her.’

Finan’s face fell. ‘That’s what you call wild? Christ have mercy.’

That was when it hit you. It wasn’t that the King was a bad lover necessarily, it was that none of what he had experience had anything to do with pleasure. Not real pleasure.

‘With respect my Lord, none of your exploits deserve the praise in which you speak of them.’

Aethelflaed’s eyes snapped to you as your words settled over the group. You watched as Edward straightened himself, his hands dusting his thighs before he looked at you. The ease was gone from his denier and for the first time that night you felt like you were speaking to the King of Wessex.

‘How so?’ His voice was calm, interest peeking out from behind his pride.

‘What you have described is the way all Saxon men are. You lie a woman on her back, slip inside – she’ll make a few noises, to hurry you up.’ You shrugged sympathetically. ‘Maybe she is feeling particularly generous, or bored, and will wrap her legs around you, pull you deeper so that she might feel something and coo in your ear a sweet encouragement. It’ll last all of five minutes before you’re lying on your back, satisfied, and she’ll tell how good you were before slipping away. Am I wrong, Aethelflaed?’

All eyes snapped to the Lady of Mercia, the way she looked down and the uncharacteristic blush on her cheeks told everyone everything they needed to know.

‘The thing is, Edward, is that you never had sex for pleasure.’ The King opened his mouth, but you kept going, ignoring the baffled looks from Saxons around you. ‘Only for release and they are not the same.’

Finan was the first to agree. ‘I like the way you think Y/N.’

‘Many men do.’ You stood as you spoke, smiling at your friends but staring pointedly at Edward before retiring to your tent.

It was around an hour later when you sense that you were not alone. In just your tunic you glanced at the dagger at your side before addressing the presence.

‘It’s not very kingly to lurk in the shadows, my lord.’

‘Your words have left an impression.’ The candlelight danced on Edwards features, and you almost missed the reservation in his steps for the soft curve of his mouth. You stood, walking towards him slowly, a small smile encouraging him. ‘After you left, I thought about the things you described, and myself in relation to them. You were right and … and I would like to experience it.’

You could sense his nerves despite the way Edward held your gaze, it was unwavering but as you circled him you noted the way his hands fidgeted behind his back.

‘Experience what my king?’ You stopped in front of him, your chest nearly brushing against his.

‘Pleasure.’

His lips crashed into yours, demanding but soft. You let yourself melt into it, tasting the ale on his tongue before pulling back completely. You laughed as Edward frowned, as a prince he was spoiled, it was clear to see, but you intended to ruin him as a king.

You lead him to the furs of your bed, telling him to sit with a light push on his chest. His eyes were already trained on you but darkened as you removed your clothing, leaving your body exposed. You took delight in how he didn’t know where to look, his eyes darting from your face to your sex with his bottom lip tugged tightly between his teeth.

You let your hands roam around your body, swaying gently till you palmed at your breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers. Your eyes fixated on the growing strain in Edwards breeches as your other hand travelled south, your index finger slipping between your thighs with a gasp.

‘Y/n…’ The sound of your name on his tongue made your stomach flutter, he sounded demanding.

‘Pleasure is the pleasure of your partner.’ You moaned quietly as you slipped another finger into your heat, keeping the pace steady.

‘Show me.’ He sounded desperate.

You took your fingers from between your thighs and brought them to your lips, smiling as Edwards own lips parted in want. You moved towards him slowly, enjoying the growing sweat forming on his forehead and the way he licked his lips.  

He reached for you, but you knelt before him, your hands running up his thighs before you began untying his trousers. He lifted his hips and you focused on ridding him of the fabric before turning your attention to his erection.

It stood proudly before you, the tip red and already leaking precum. You breathed in deeply before pursing your lips and blowing cold air directly onto his member. Edward inhaled deeply, a smile coming to your lips when it jumped in response.

‘You are teasing me.’

‘I am pleasuring you.’ Edward opened his mouth to argue but the words died in his throat. Your lips wrapped around as much of him as you could fit, your hands finding the rest. You bobbed your head once, twice, flattening your tongue as you went down then curling it as you came up. Edward’s left hand bunched in the sheets, grounding himself while his right tangled itself in your hair, his grip creating a delicious burn.

Breathing through your nose you took him as deeply as you could, your throat contracting around him as your vision blurred. The way Edward moaned kept you there for longer than you had any man, quickly finding yourself obsessed with the way his eyes fluttered and his throat bobbed as he tried to hold back the noises. You only stopped when your lungs demanded it.

‘God … Please, Y/n.’

You kissed your way from his balls to his tip, giving it one last lick before kissing up the rest of his body, undoing his shirt as you went. You let your hands roam around the tight muscles of his thighs and abdomen, your tongue following your fingers until you were sat in his lap, your hands tangled in his hair and your lips branding his neck.

‘I want you Y/n.’ You pulled back, lips tingling and bruised, your core brushing against his erection.

‘You want me Edward, but do you desire me?’

‘Yes.’

You smiled at him, the darkness in his eyes and his grip on your hips making you ache. You sunk down on him slowly, enjoying the way he stretched you. You stilled as your hips met his, grinding your clit against his body. The tiny jolts of movement began to pick up speed, Edwards lips discovering the slope of your neck and your hands digging into his shoulders. You wanted it to last forever, to feel the hot ache of him between your legs but you knew he was close. His hips jutted up to meet yours, one of his hands finding its way to your clit as his breath grew heavy in your ear.

His fingers were skilled, rubbing in time to his thrusts while you clawed at his back, your knees beginning to give from beneath you. You came with a call of his name, the tightness in your stomach snapping into white pleasure that washed over your body, wave after wave. Edwards’s pace didn’t slow, and your walls gripped him tightly, convulsing around him until he came with a deep moan. His fingers slowed and both his hands come to rest on your hips. He was smiling.

‘From now on, I think I will always choose pleasure.’

‘A wise choice my lord, I’ll always be happy to comply.’

[steviespanties]

Since Steve’s parents are out of town so often, he and Billy have a habit of hooking up at Steve’s place. Steve’s room is nice and all, but Billy has a thing for fucking Steve in his mom’s bed;; ((HI I LOVE YOUR ACCOUNT AND YOUR STORIES THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH MASTERPIECES💖💖))

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH AND ALSO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS!!! (This sent me down an interior decorating rabbit hole trying to figure out what Steve’s mom’s bed- and then her own room might look like😅😂 Please imagine a layout similar to this, but with another window on the other side of the bed for more light. The ‘sofa’ and bed look a lot more like this, but the colors and style are more similar to this and this room.) 2.2k words, rated E. Steve POV, some manhandling, some frottage, some rimming and dirty talk. Anal sex. Ya know. My usual.

Steve’s parents have a big enough house (and are rich enough) that his mom has an entire bedroom for herself. She calls it her boudoir, because it’s where her walk-in closet is and where she keeps all her fancy makeup, lesser used jewelry and perfumes. There’s a massive four-poster bed with floor-length drapes matching the curtains, a chaise lounge, a vanity, all in creamy white and bathed in warm lamp light. 

Before he gets together with Billy, Steve doesn’t even think about it’s existence. It’s just another empty room, after all. The most he sees of the house are the entrance, kitchen, living room and the walk upstairs to his bedroom with his own bathroom. Hell, sometimes it slips his mind that he technically lives in what counts in Hawkins as a mansion.

Billy, however, becomes obsessed with the ‘boudoir’ in particular. 

The first time he's supposed to really stay over, not just crash in Steve’s room and fuck him into his bed at 3am, he steps through the front entrance, whistles after a survey of the hallway and goes “Aren’t you gonna show me around?”

“Yeah, sure. Just take a pair of house shoes from over there.” Steve gestures towards the shoe rack in question and Billy’s expression goes from amused to disbelieving.

“Seriously?”

Steve glares at him. “Yeah. Seriously. My parents put in new flooring over the summer and now everything has to look pristine for the two times a year they have visitors over.”

It's such an unnecessary, stupid rule to enforce all of a sudden when Steve has rarely worn shoes around the house anyways. 

He’s barefoot when it’s warm outside and leaves his shoes by the front door to change into thick wool socks during the cold months. And somehow, his parents still have found a new way to make him feel like he’s walking on eggshells in his own home.

Still, he watches Billy sullenly take off his shoes with growing amusement that gradually lightens the bad mood Steve’s gotten into just thinking about it. He figures he can give Billy a quick tour of the house and then order pizza. Watch a movie, fuck in an actual bed instead of getting each other off in the cramped backseats of their cars.

What happens instead is that Billy spends a ridiculous amount of time dragging Steve through his own home. He looks into guest rooms. Shoves his nose into cabinets. Looks out of windows like he’s staking out the neighborhood. (Woods. The neighborhood is mostly woods.)

“What are you, a spy?” Steve jokingly asks when Billy lifts up a painting to peek behind, like he’s looking for a safe. Billy scoffs, all mock-offended. But Steve can see a hint of a blush form on his cheeks. Gotcha. It’s kinda sweet how curious he is about the place, even if his main complaint is that it “feels like a show house.” Steve doesn’t have the heart to point out that he’s not too far off.

It’s when they step into his mom’s room that a predatory glint enters Billy’s eyes. “Ohh, is this where Mama Harrington sleeps?”

“Yeah. Sometimes. She wanted a room to get ready ‘in peace’. I’m pretty sure she just wants to drink prosecco in peace.” He watches Billy’s fingers trail over the fabric of one of the creamy white curtains framing the window. They part and his rings glint in the sunlight he’s suddenly bathed in. When he turns back around his hair is lit up gold and frames his head like a halo. Steve licks his lips. The fun thing about dating Billy is that he not only matches Steve in terms of libido, but seems to have a sixth sense for the moment Steve’s thoughts get distracted by his gorgeous everything.

Or maybe Steve just isn’t very subtle.

That glint in Billy’s eyes turns into hungry laser focus. Sets him into motion until he’s all pressed against Steve, a hot line of unrelenting muscle pushing him closer to the bed until they tip over and onto the mattress. Half hidden by more curtains hanging from the canopy. Sunlight follows them.

White teeth flash in an easy grin, quick and sweet, and then Billy’s lips are on Steve’s. His body weight pushes Steve into the creamy white bed cover and the air out of his lungs in a huffed laugh. Underneath him the texture of the blanket- distinct raised ribbing- digs into his skin. Billy’s hands dig into his hair.

The slick heat of Billy’s mouth and his thigh shoved between Steve’s legs is intoxicating. Makes it impossible to form a coherent thought when his focus narrows down on Billy on top of him, curls just long enough to fall down and tickle Steve’s face. He makes the most delicious sound when Steve grabs his ass and pulls him closer, till their hips are lined up just right. Steve pulls. Billy pushes. Like a conversation in a language purely made of heat and pressure, hitching breaths and choked moans. Against his own growing erection, painfully trapped in his jeans, he can feel Billy fill out as well. The pleasure is maddening. Enough to make Steve feel a burst of wetness pulse from his dick into his underwear. Enough to make him roll his hips up, searching for a better angle.

“Billy,” he sighs, not sure what he wanted to say afterwards. Just enjoys saying his name.  

“We’re wearing too many clothes,” Billy complains in response, like he picked up whatever thought Steve dropped in the minuscule space between them. They break out into a familiar flurry of limbs and discarded clothes. A condom packet and a small bottle of lube make it from Billy’s discarded jacket onto the comforter next to Steve’s head. He snorts.

“You sure you weren’t a boy scout at some point? Feels like you’re always prepared to get your dick wet.”

Billy rolls his eyes, fond smile belying his annoyance. “Shut up. Turn around.” His voice has taken on that deep, rough tone indicating how much he’s turned on. Steve leans back instead, takes his dick in hand. Enjoys the rough drag of his dry palm when he drags it up in a loose grip. Just enough to tease.  Billy raptly follows the movement. “Maybe I will if you ask me nicely.”

Oh, he loves this game. Put up a token bit of protest when Billy gets bossy, until he gets impatient and starts dragging Steve around until he’s nothing but putty underneath his hands.

“Show me your pretty hole, babe. I won’t ask again.” 

Steve’s dick pulses in his hand. He watches Billy with half-lidded eyes. The way his muscles shift, getting ready to move. Hungry and powerful, like a big wildcat.

In the next second, he’s on Steve. Makes him gasp out an involuntary yelp when he easily flips him and drags him up by his hips. Until he’s on his knees, face buried in the bed cover and hot breath suddenly ghosts over his hole. There’s barely enough time to reorient himself before the scratch of Billy’s mustache and the slick warmth of his tongue press into his crack.

“Ah, fuck yes.”

He’s never done this before Billy. Not with any of the girls he fucked or dated. Not with Tommy, who he’s traded sloppy, shameful handjobs and blowjobs with. He doesn’t think he can ever get enough of feeling Billy’s tongue on his rim, swirling around until he’s dripping with saliva. Pushing inside where he’s sensitive, pressure and stretch of his hole making him squirm and push his hips back immediately.

It’s almost embarrassing how greedy he is for Billy’s mouth on him. His lips wrapped around his dick. His tongue shoved deep into his hole, held in place by those warm hands on his asscheeks. Holding him open so Billy can get even deeper, making him moan and drool into the blanket beneath him. It’s like a pulse, curls into him till his dick pushes out another spurt of precome and he can feel himself twitch, heavy and aching between his legs.

A slicked up finger joins Billy’s tongue. Makes the stretch just a bit more intense, but still so, so good. Billy only comes up for air when he adds a second finger. Steve can feel him rest his cheek on his ass, probably watching the movement of his fingers up close. He seems to have a thing for the sight of Steve’s rim stretched, his hole filled up and glistening.

“Gonna make you a complete mess in your mom’s bed,” Billy huffs into his skin. “Gonna make you cry and cream yourself all over her sheets.” He thrusts deeper and stretches his fingers until they tug at Steve’s hole and he groans with the ache.  “Better get going then,” he tries to taunt. It falls flat with all that desperation laced through his words.  The thing is, provoking Billy only gets you so far. Steve can tease him into impatience, but once he’s fully grasped control, he revels in it. Basks in Steve’s frenzied, futile attempts at irritating him. Like he’s had his chance, but the game is already won.

Steve doesn’t mind losing that much anyways.

“Just you wait,” Billy says fondly.

All Steve can focus on for a while is that glorious, slick movement of Billy’s fingers. The way he pushes in and out of him, stretches his rim and his insides, rubs over that spot inside of him that makes him frantically claw at the textured bed cover underneath him. Just long enough to make him whine and push back, pulse around a third finger that stretches him even wider.

At some point, when he’s reduced to a sweat-slick line of tightly wound pleasure, he finds himself empty. Barely registers the sound of a ripped open condom wrapper. Warm, humid breath over his spine that wanders up up up until there’s lips and teeth on his shoulder and Billy’s cock slowly pushes inside.

There’s a growing spot of drool-wet fabric his face presses into that swallows some of his moans. When Billy moves, satisfied sighs and barely coherent praises tumbling from his lips, Steve grasps the bed cover tight. 

Billy’s hips find a rolling, unrelenting rhythm. The drag of his cock is a drug Steve can’t get enough of. Dreams about, just as much as he dreams about the tight heat of Billy around his dick.

He wishes he could turn around and admire Billy’s flushed face. Hold him between his spread legs. Get lost in his eyes and dizzy from his freckles. But Billy’s weight on his back and his mouth sucking hickeys into the back of his neck isn’t bad either. He tries to hold himself up, tries to concentrate on carrying that weight on his back, but with each thrust inside it’s like his knees spread wider and his elbows sink down until he’s pressed flat onto the bed. And then his dick makes contact with the bed cover and gets pushed right into it right along Billy’s thrusts.

“Ah!” The moan is embarrassingly loud. Louder than any other noise he’s made so far. Of course, Billy picks up on it.

“You gonna be a good boy and blow your load all over your mommy’s sheets?”

“Shut- shut up, fuck.” Billy just laughs, voice shot to hell.

Even if Steve wanted to, he can’t escape that mouthwatering pleasure the additional drag of rough fabric against his dick provides. Because even if he wanted to try, he can’t pull away from Billy’s weight on top of him. His heavy, thick cock inside of him that holds him open and fills him up.

He comes with a sob. Pushes his face harder into wet fabric. Pushes his dick through his own mess. Pushes his hips back to meet Billy’s thrusts, even when it becomes just a bit too much.

Billy rests his entire weight on him when he comes with a deeply satisfied groan. Through their aftershocks, he buries his face in Steve’s hair and they rest in companionable silence.

It’s not the last time they end up fucking on that bed, no matter how many times Steve complains about the laundry with flushed cheeks.

...

Steve isn’t enough of an idiot to not understand that Billy likes to fuck him in his mom’s bed because he likes the conquest of a room that’s ‘forbidden’. He’s the same at parties, likes to sneak into rooms he’s not supposed to be in. Likes the thrill of doing something nasty with Steve in a place his mom will walk into and never even suspect what’s happened.

And Billy? Billy doesn’t want to admit it, especially not to Steve’s face, but... the way Steve’s hair looks against the creamy-white sheets in his mom’s bedroom? The soft yellow glow of light, the blush that spreads from his cheeks down to his neck, to his chest faster than it does anywhere else- it’s addictive.

The best part, the one they both like a little too much is what happens afterwards. When the raised ribbing of the bed cover has left indents on Steve’s face where it’s been pressed down. On his arms and knees. On his back, where only Billy can see and trace it for the rest of the night, reverent and sweet.

[oingo233]

Anything at All -Regulus Blurb

Summary: Blurbs for your ever-growing friendship with Regulus and his unrequited feelings.  

Regulus Black x Hufflepuff Reader

Warnings: none, but house is specified like once, for the dynamic of the friendship. It’s cute I promise :)  Also, nothing else is specified.  No weight, race, gender or anything like that, reader is neutral. (though if I do mention something about any of these, please let me know so I can change it. I try to keep as neutral as possible so anyone will feel comfortable reading)

Authors Note: I usually write full fics/imagines but I have less time with Finals this week but I wanted to write and Regulus came to mind. Also my love for Regulus stems from @roonilwazlibimagines who has the most wonderful Harry Potter blog and writing!

                                            **** Anything at All ****

- Regulus first saw you on a patch of green grass, it swayed beside you as you lay beneath the sun. The wind  danced across your skin and your hair would dance ever so slightly with it. Your skin warming and your smile far more beautiful than the lake beside you. He found it curious how you would smile to yourself, eyes closed as you lay on your back and tap your fingers to the beat of the songs. Very softly you would whisper the lyrics.  He wished just for a moment, to lay there beside you and listen. To make you smile just as sweetly.

- He felt stupid soon after though.  He didn’t even know your name, and you were too pure for him by the looks of it. Too good.  

- But he starts noticing you more and more and soon you two become friends, despite the difference in houses (which he debated with himself often, before you two got really close).  You would often drag him out to a picnic with your muggle mixtapes and listen to them with him. Then you two would lend each other books and study together, and soon you were inseparable.

- You once gave him a plant. You are a hufflepuff and it was this he admired most about you, your kindness and goodness made him for once, feel truly happy and unjudged. Made him want to be good too. So it was no surprise you gave him a bright, purple shamrock plant. 

- You said it reminded you of the pretty red butterflies that would flutter about the lake the first time you and Regulus picnicked there.  He charmed paper in the middle of particularly boring classes to look just like them and fly swiftly by your ear and then straight into the window.  A dry, dark joke on his part, but it always made you giggle.  That class would bore someone to death.

- He of course swooned at this, but hides it with a smile.  He nodded at you and took it from your sweaty hands (nervous habit of yours) he said he would take care of it, and politely thanked you.  Adding throughout the day how much he liked it. He makes sure to appreciate you in little ways he never felt like he was, he never wants you too feel like he used to (and often times he still does feel that way).

- After you pushed him too, he names the plant.  He named the plant Paul, because the first song you danced to with him was “Hey Diddle” By Paul McCartney. 

 - You dragged him out to a quite spot by the lake, your favorite place on campus and he too began to find a new kind of peace there.  No one else was around so you make sure to play your music out loud. Regulus lays back on his arms and watches you sway your hips, and prance to the songs.  He laughs occasionally at the horror that is your dancing.

 - Then a new song plays and you gasp and turn to him, he pales at the look you give him, already shaking his head no.  “Please,” You beg, he shakes his head. “No, I’m not dancing.” He stared at you pointedly, but then you got on your knees beside him and softly took both his hands in your own, tugging ever so lightly.  Looking into his eyes, you try to beg with looks alone.  “It’s me favorite, this one...” He caved, no man has ever caved so fast.

 - It was because of the softness that you touched him with and the glow of warmth in your eyes, the promise of fun held within them attracted him like no other. Soon you two were up and dancing.  He was awkward, no doubt, so you increased your dance moves to be even uglier so he soon caught on and did his ugliest dance moves too. You both looked liked two headless chickens running around, hands intertwined throughout the song while you moved to the music.  But no laughter on the campus was louder than the two of yours.

- When you first heard of his plants name. you laughed so hard that when he confessed this to you it made him blush.  He wanted to run away forever until you turned to the plant with the brightest smile and said “Good morning Paul, Regulus is going to take great care of you.  Look at you! Such healthy leaves already.”  You cooed, winking at Regulus who only blushed deeper.

- He’d never admit it, and I mean never, but he sometimes talks to Paul.  Before bed, little “mornin’ Paul,” or “night mate.” 

- The worst of it was when he would drunkenly turn the plant to face him, as in the pot you painted for him is facing the side where you painted the lake you two frequent.  And he just rambles on about you “(y/n)?  yeah, (y/n) you know them.  Yeah, they’re pretty great.  Pretty in general.” He’d hum to himself then, some song your currently are obsessing over.  “I think I love them mate..” he’d chuckle to himself, nodding briefly and slurring on his words.  “yeah, I know.  Not so dead in the chest after all.  Wait till mummie gets a load of this..” He’d swallow thickly and seem to sober slightly, then puts a finger to his mouth.  “Shhhh, don’t tell her and I won’t either.  (y/n)’s mine, I won’t let my family get to them too.” He nods to himself dignitly, then turns the plant to face the moon and goes straight to bed.

- He talks to the plant because it “listens”.  It’s not often in his life he feels heard or a deep understanding with things.  But Paul reminded him of you, and you saw who he really was, and still chose to be his friend.  Though the term friend makes him bitter, but rather that, then no you at all.  

- Then one day, when Hufflepuff won the match against Slytherin (god did you rub it in his face. Though you comforted him and complimented his skill as seeker. He still had to find a way to get you chocolate because of the match’s turnout.  You hugged him when Hufflepuff won, he no longer shied from such touches.  He knew he’d give you candy no matter who won.) 

- Anyway, this sore loser Slytherin notices your over pour of joy, and decided to get rude.  Not appreciating your “smugness” on the matter. 

- He said something awful to you, and Regulus without a second thought pulled out his wand and told the ass to bugger off.  He hexed him anyway, as he was walking away, just a small little spell that tied his shoe laces together.

- The guy face planted and Regulus beamed at the way your frown turned into belly laughter.  He for the first time, initiated big contact, and threw his arm over your shoulder and led you away from the scene.  Reassuring your worth with kind words whispered in your ear.

- He thought of you often.  During class, homework, writing the scarce letter home, during break...he couldn’t get you out of his head.  You were such an overwhelming and positive force in his life it would sometimes make him emotional.  He knew he’d do anything to keep you safe, to make sure you are happy and well taken care off.  He’d do anything to protect you and the world you love so much.

Anything.

[lightsinthedistancee]

CONGRATULATIONS, IMA! A well-deserved milestone!

Could I please request angst prompt 26. “don’t shut me out.” for our favorite hot space droid dad, Poe? I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Congrats again!! 💕💕

-@tlcwrites from my main blog (Tumblr, please get on letting us send asks from side blogs!)

Thank you, @tlcwrites! I was so hoping someone would choose this prompt! This one came to me and really spoke to me, and I really enjoyed writing it, so hope you enjoy!

“Don’t shut me out.” + Poe Dameron x Reader

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Disintegrate

Words: 1k

Summary: “Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

“He decides a single thing—he has to do better.”

In the aftermath of a failed mission, Poe confronts the unbearable guilt of death under his command.

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A gambler, a savior, and a mother.

Three pilots. Three people. Gone.

The air is warm, stagnant, a bit suffocating in nature as Poe sits in his room. His head is buried in his hands as he rubs his face, hard enough to hurt whenever the heels of his palms slide over his eyes.

There’s something especially devastating about hearing death over comms. Watching a ship obliterated, pilot and all, and then waiting that dreaded half a second to hear the scream, the cry, the bang in his earpiece.

It’s even more devastating to undergo such a process three times in the midst of a plan of attack he himself had developed.

The first pilot: a young man from Corellia with a penchant and true talent for a good gamble whenever the squadron happened to be on a casino planet. The kind who could calculate every potential move and fill up an entire room with life.

The second: a young one not yet twenty. One that Poe had shared many conversations with, one he’d developed a protectiveness over, one who’d saved the squadron countless times with an intuition Poe could never even dream of possessing.

The third: a woman with a daughter back on Yavin IV, barely a twenty-minute fly from Poe’s childhood home. A daughter that he’d met once, who’d asked him in the pure innocence of a five-year old to ‘keep her mama safe.’

Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

He decides a single thing—he has to do better.

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Three pilots is too many for one simple mission, Poe decides. More than one means that one is beyond fate, beyond chance. More than one means that there’s a flaw.

And the desire to find that flaw is Poe’s new obsession. He throws himself into his work, he hides himself from everyone, he recoils from you.

At each of your attempts to console him, he hates himself even more, he hates you even more. He hates the lies that you spew from your lips when you tell him it’s not his fault, he hates when you call them his friends because, yes, they were, but they were more too. They were under his command.

They were his to protect.

And he’d failed.

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Disintegration.

It’s the first word that comes to your mind when you see what Poe is becoming.

He’s…unhinged, unstable. He doesn’t sleep well. He eats at the oddest hours. He allows work to consume him.

The next mission plan he develops is the new focus of his life. He works late nights on it, sometimes well into the morning, sitting at the desk in your shared quarters, leg bouncing incessantly, non-stop in his hyper-focus.

“Poe,” you say softly one night, approaching him from behind, resting your arms on his shoulders.

He hums quietly, mostly oblivious to your presence, leg still bouncing away.

“It’s late,” you continue. The papers and holopad in front of him are stained with diagrams and notes of an evidently completed and checked-over plan. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find it,” he mumbles, not even sparing you a glance.

“Find what?”

“The flaw.”

You sigh, eyes slowly shutting. His muscles beneath you are tired. They shift with his movements, wearily helping his body move as you silently stare at the wall.

“This can’t go on forever, love,” you tell him, feeling for the side of his face, touching it gently. “You’re hurting yourself.”

He sighs, rubbing his face tiredly, briefly covering the bags under his eyes.

“It’s not your fault—“

“It is my fault!,” he says loudly, making you jump slightly, his body jerking out of its defeated, slumped-over posture. “Stop fucking saying it’s not.”

You fall silent, grappling with the divided air between the two of you. Without a thought, you drop to your knees before him, gently grasping his hand. “Why do you think it is?” you whisper.

“Because my plan was flawed. I thought we went over this already.”

You merely stare at him in continuing silence. He stares back, unsure of you, of what’s happening, of everything. “No,” you simply state. “Tell me why you think it’s your fault.”

“What?” He looks at you exasperated, for he’s just told you.

“Don’t shut me out, Poe.” You press a kiss to the back of his hand. “Tell me more.”

He blinks, pausing before pulling you up. In such a circumstance, he hates seeing you on your knees before him, as if you’re begging. Perhaps you are. Now you’re asking for something deeper.

As you gently grasp his chin and press a soft kiss to his lips, he melts into you.

Every kiss since the incident had felt like a pity, like a cheap attempt to make him feel better. Every touch had been laced with animosity, for his stress had inevitably sparked your own.

But this one is just you. No other feelings or sensations defiled by a subtle hatred or a brewing conflict. Just your lips, just your fingers.

And he tells.

He tells of a life filled with a nagging need to feel responsible for everyone. A life filled with a horrible anxiety about unintentionally hurting others.

He tells of his parents who’d always presented themselves as expectations of what he had to be just by simply existing.

He tells of the pain he’s seen on the battlefield, of how all of it had built up an insurmountable paranoia of himself being the potential cause of such a thing one day.

And all that fear, all that anxiety had burned brighter and brighter, leading to now, where he’s finally snapped, sitting on the bed with your arms wrapped around him, his face hidden in your hair.

He can feel himself trembling, for he knows that it’s all out there now—his pain, his weakness, his vulnerabilities—and that it can’t be taken back. That it’s become a spot rife with potential for conflict and insecurity.

Yet you still hold him tight, doing your best to soothe his trembles, to make him feel secure in your presence once again. “I’ve got you, love,” you whisper.

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A/N: There’s like a 90% chance I’ll reformat this into actual fic form as a separate post because I really like it, so if anyone sees this again tomorrow, don’t mind me!

Taglist (for everything): @dark-academics-and-florals @princessxkenobi @theultimateslashgirl @djjarins @jitterbugs927

Taglist (for Poe): @synical-paradox @paper-n-ashes @spider-starry

(Btw, to anyone on my taglist, for the 100 follower prompts, I’ll probably only tag you all on the longer ones or the shorter ones I really, really like. Probably gonna be a lot coming out soon; don’t want to bother y’all 🙂)

Anyone who wants to be added to my taglist, just let me know!

[wornoutmouse]

Day 13: Voyeurism

Notes:

Bruh I freaking love this. Also, I decided that with the kinks that I don't exactly know how to write, I'd just replace it with something else i can right. (As I'm writing this I looked at my kink list and voyeurism is day 26, on my momma I can never catch a break" also since I'm so far behind yall gon keep getting these probably well into November)

You had been dating Kai for about a year now but you had yet to do anything physical. Ever since the beginning, you knew that he wasn't big on touch to start with. In fact, it took till the second month of the relationship for him to even hold hands with you and three more months after for him to even kiss you on the cheek. Your friends would love to joke that you were in a long-distance relationship with Kai much to your annoyance. Even so, you loved him and would never dream of pushing him beyond his comfort level and he thanked you for that internally.

"Kai, I brought you your lunch!" you say pushing the door to his office open. Kai paid you no mind as you he trailed his gloved hand over his keyboard typing an email to an investor. You intricately placed his salad in the middle of his plate, making sure that no green leaf crossed the swirling blue design the plate possessed. You place 10 small pieces of tomatoes in a star shape above the lettuce then sprinkled it all with shredded cheese and pepper before sitting down a champagne glass of Vanilla Shasta. The last part you personally thought was doing too much but your boyfriend became a bit of a brat when things weren't exactly how he liked it.

You jump slightly as you feel a hand graze lightly across your rear end. You smiled recognizing the gesture as you felt the slight heat from his fingers dancing over your lower back. You go to leave the door whisper small encouragement to him as you see him pick up his food. 

As for the work you had to do today, there were none since you were finished. You had the rest of the day to yourself to relax because you knew Kai would not be leaving his office till 2:30 pm and it was only 9. Gaining a mischievous smirk, you tiptoe to your shared bedroom and hop under the covers grabbing your phone and putting your headphones in. Since Kai has yet to be comfortable touching you, you have had to help yourself in regards to physical pleasure. 

You trail your hands down delicately tracing your skin with your fingertips trying to get yourself worked up. The sound of your personal video flooded your senses as you listen to the asmrist instructing you on how to touch yourself. "I want you to take your hands and massage your breasts." you follow the instructions unhooking your bra from their confinement and sighing as all the tension falls away from you. You circle the outer parts of your areolas following the bumpy trail that covered them. "Pinch your nipples, my dear." 

Due to the cold air in the room, your nips had long since hardened from the change in temperature so it took only a little prodding to get them standing at attention. You lick the tip of your finger and circle your hard bud between itself. You softly whimper as you feel yourself slowly becoming aroused. You imagine the voice becoming deeper, similar to that of Kai's as it tells you what to do. "Take off your panties." You peer through your closed lids and pull down your underwear, shivering as you felt your wetness sticking from your folds to your underwear. "Don't touch yourself yet baby instead I want you to trace your inner thighs, so close, yet so far." You internally cringe at the pet name because you knew Kai would never call you that. 

Your legs tremble as you got closer to your entrance but were forced to retreat from the place you wanted to be caressed. At this point, you had become uncouth with the sheets around you tossed off of your body exposing your lower half to the open-air making you shiver as the AC comes on. You turn your head to the side, eyes closed, "I want you to trace your folds but go no deeper." You whimper as you lightly graze your entrance not going any further.

You worry your plump lip in between your teeth as you use all your self-control to not go on ahead and delve inside yourself. You groan as you feel your earbud slip out of your ear. You reach your hand back to grab it but feel your hand touch something leather-like. You open your eyes lips pursed before sitting up sharply as you make eye contact with Kai. 

"I...I." you stutter out unable to explain yourself as you feel your face get warm with embarrassment. Kai doesn't break eye contact with you as he holds your earbud a small distance from his ear, close enough to ear the vulgar words the asmrsit is speaking but far enough that it isn't touching his ear. You bring the blanket up to cover yourself but it's promptly snatched from your hand by Kai. You bring your legs up to yourself thoroughly embarrassed at being caught. Kai, still holding the earbud walks out of the room before walking back in with a chair that he positions in front of the bed. 

Kai sits down tossing the earpiece on the bed sitting back and crossing his legs, gaze piercing through you. "Show me." You jerk your head up at the order, "H-Huh?" Kai leans forward propping his elbows on his knees. "Show me, what you were doing." You blinked a few times and you could feel yourself blush, honestly glad that he wouldn't be able to see it. You exhale shakily trying to calm yourself. 'He's not mad, but He's not happy." You jump as you feel a ruler tap your legs open and you gaze up as at Kai as he slides a gloved hand over your knee prying them open. "Touch yourself." 

Seeing no other option you trail your hands down your body shakily and grimace as you feel yourself wetter than before. You trail your fingers through your wetness and moan slightly. The grip on your knees tightens as Kai's gaze bores into where your hands played with yourself. Kai's hands glide down your legs as he squats in front of you only inches from your entrance. His predatory gaze flickers to your's and you couldn't help but hold eye contact feeling as if it was against the rules for you to look away. 

Kai takes hold of your wrists and angles your fingers above your entrance making you sink the tip of your index finger inside of yourself. "Crap." you curse out at the teasing sensation your finger caused. "Watch your language." Kai grunts still maintaining focus on how your finger dipped in and out of your wet entrance. You couldn't see over the bed, but you could tell he was affected by the hint of sweat collecting on his forehead. Taking his hand, Kai pulls down his mask exposing the rest of his face before taking a gloved hand in between his teeth pulling it off. 

You jump as you feel a larger finger push itself inside unforgivingly joining yours. "Your absolutely filthy." Kai growls out scoffing as he feels you tighten around his finger at the remark. You slowly finger yourself slightly annoyed at the stationary position Kai kept his finger you jerk your hips slightly trying to encourage him to move. Kai narrowed his eyebrows, a thin tongue swiping over his lips. You whine happily as he begins to move it, though rough in speed, pleasurable in direction. "You were being an absolute tramp on my bed, dirtying it with your lustful thought." Kai moved his finger at a rougher pace as he stands up propping himself above you with one hand. "Yet you had the audacity to pleasure yourself with another man's voice." You could feel yourself getting close to your release as you unconsciously grip onto Kai's forearm, "Release me!" you drop your hands down and throw your head back as you shake uncontrollably eyes screwed shut as you focused on your pleasure. 

Kai slowed down his pace the slightest bit as he prods your cervix with his finger circling it carefully before pushing at it as if trying to breach it. "Kai that kinda hur-ts." you stutter outreaching to touch him but stopping yourself from doing so. Kai proceeds to resume his brutal pace on your walls and you couldn't help but arch your back violently as you feel wave after wave of pleasure crawling through you. 

With a loud wail, you cum and to your horror, you feel a large amount of liquid exit your body and sprayed over Kai's arm and his leg that he had propped on the bed below you. Kai continues ignoring his discomfort, fingering you through your orgasm. When you're finished, he pulls away and you can finally see the amount of damage you did. His pants are obviously stained dark from your release. "I had heard about women releasing copious amounts of liquid from their sexual organs. I at first only thought it was urine but based on smell and consistency I now see that this is not so." Kai studies his hand that is drenched in your fluids ranging from clear to white.

He takes a few steps back sitting on the chair behind him before unbuckling his belt and pulling himself out. You gasp as you gaze at his dick for this is the first time you've ever seen it. It was heavily covered in pulsating veins and the tip was an angry red from being left unattended for so long. Taking the hand covered in your release, Kai uses it to stroke his member growling as he finally gets the stimulation he needed. You watched hungrily and somewhat proud that you were the one that caused your calm and collected boyfriend to overcome his obsession with cleanliness.

"Are you proud of yourself?" Kai grunts as he polishes the head of his cock with the palm of his hand. His arms flexed and his feet raised up onto his toes as he breaths heavier coming closer to his own orgasm. "Bringing me down to your level like this." Kai throws his head back thrusting his cock into his hand which force that you craved would go into you. 

You walk up to Kai and hungrily gaze at his long cock as your combined fluids pooled along with the opening of his pants that at this point were hopelessly ruined. "Can I.." you started swallowing shallowly as Kai teased the tip of his cock with his thumb. "Can I please have it Kai?" you beg sounding completely ruined. Kai smirked at you releasing his cock as you position yourself above it sliding down with a moan. Kai brings his hands, one gloved, one not, and holds your ass tightly as he uses his strength to bounce you on his cock. "Look at you, so pathetic, taking everything I give you." You nod your head babbling nonsense as his cock bumps your cervix the same way his finger had moments before.

Kai plants his feet flat on the ground as he meets you halfway thrusting into your body breaking your mind with how good it felt. You come once again, pulsating around his dick making Kai also reach his peak as he releases deep inside of you. You two rest your foreheads together as you come down from your high.

Kai promptly lifts you up and heads to your large bathroom that, to your surprise, was already filled with warm water. Your face heats up at the thought of a server sneaking past the two of you to fill up the tub. Afterward, there are small kisses and Kai's complaints about how messy you were as you washed each other's backs.

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader ( Pt 7 )

summary: Joel and Y/N take their relationship to the next level

warnings: cursing and smut 

you can read the previous chapters here 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you fuck Joel.“ Ellie mumbles, rubbing her temples while you blush furiously. “I wanted to tell you! Just didn’t know how I guess.“ You run a hand through your hair and Ellie simply looks at you, Dina giggling next to her. “You owe me a comic.“ Dina nudges Ellie with her elbow and she scoffs. “I know.“ “Wait, you guys had a bet?“ You ask confused. Your friends just laugh and you slowly relax on the bed, knowing they’re not angry with you. “It was Jesse´s idea. Ellie almost won, but you couldn’t wait another month to fall in love with Joel, soo-“ Dina bites her lip with a huge smile and even Ellie chuckles, although she looks slightly uncomfortable. You can’t blame her, you wouldn’t want to see your father figure kissing your friend, either. “I´m sorry for not telling you guys sooner, Joel and I wanted to wait until we’re sure things will work out. And we didn’t really know how you would take it.“ You shyly look over to Ellie and she clears her throat. “It kinda weirds me out that Joel and you are a thing, I mean, Joel is a dinosaur and you’re my friend. But its fine, I’d rather see him with you than anyone else.“ She shrugs her shoulders and Dina scoffs, rolling her eyes. “It’s not really a surprise, anyways. You´ve been crushing on him for months, it was awfully painful to watch.“ Dina fake winces and you slap her knee, laying down on your stomach afterwards. “Ha ha. Very funny.“ You bite back a smile and Ellie slides a bit lower, resting her back against the headboard of the bed while laying her arm behind Dina. Dina notices and scoots closer, leaning into Ellie. She nudges you with her foot and you watch your friends from the end of the bed, legs dangling in the air. “But please don’t kiss Joel in front of me. I can´t even imagine-“ Ellie shudders and you groan, fisting the sheets in your palm. “Don´t worry, we-“ “Oh Ellie, they’ve done a lot worse.“ Dina interrupts you and teasingly wiggles her eyebrows, finding the blush on your cheeks quite amusing. “Pictures out of my head!“ Ellie scrunches her nose in disgust and you hide your face behind your hands. “You suck, Dina.“ You mumble, earning a kick from her. “Hey!“ You protest, pushing her feet away from you. “You, my dear friend-“She begins while batting her long lashes at you, “can call yourself lucky that we’re teasing you, instead of being mad at you for lying to us. You own us a shit ton of gossip! Like, Joel and you?? Finally something exciting happens here.“ Dina throws her head back and Ellie chuckles at the hard impact on her shoulder, sneakily resting her hand on Dina´s arm. “I don´t think Ellie wants to hear my gossip about Joel. It’s mature content.“ You laugh and bite your fingertip, feeling the heat creep up your face. Ellie fake gags and holds her hand up. “Stop! I really don’t want to know anything sexual about Joel. You can keep your dirty gossip to yourself.“ Dina grabs Ellies thigh and shakes it slightly, missing out on Ellies flushed expression. “Oh come on, Joel is a grown man and Y/N´s old enough too. It’s only natural.“ You look at Dina and nudge her foot to make her shut up. “Can we talk about something other than my sexlife?“ You plead, Ellie sharing your distressed look. “Yes, please.“ She says, pinching Dinas arm and making her gasp. “What was that for?“ She asks, looking up to Ellie. Their eyes meet and you smile, seeing the way they look at each other. “for making Y/N and me uncomfortable!“ Ellie laughs and Dina smirks, teasingly running her hand over Ellies thigh. Ellie tenses and you look away, feeling the tension between them. “I´m good at making people uncomfortable.“ Dina lowers her voice and you cough, squirming on the bed. “you´re right about that.“ You say, pulling the two out of their little moment. Ellie audibly exhales and Dina snuggles more into Ellies side, waving her hand in front of her. “not my problem all my friends are prudes.“ She jokes, and you rest your chin onto your palm. “At least you have friends.“ Ellie laughs at that and you join, feeling a weight lift off your chest. You’re damn lucky Dina and especially Ellie aren’t mad at you, it could have gone a lot worse.

“My options are kinda limited, but you guys are alright.“ Dina makes a face and grabs the remote from her nightstand. “And now let’s watch the movie, before Y/N gets lovesick and leaves us for Joel.“ She turns on the TV and you shut her up by throwing your only pillow at her, turning onto your side afterwards. The intro of some 80´s movie Ellie wanted to see begins to play, and you nuzzle your head onto her lower leg, ready for the movie night to begin. 

“She´s not mad?“ Joel asks surprised when you visit him the next day. You shake your head, tiredly rubbing your eyes. You didn’t sleep much, thanks to Ellie and her love for old movies. Instead of watching one movie and going home afterwards, you stayed awake till dawn and slept only some hours. “No, sure she finds the thought of us together weird, but she’s accepting.“ You yawn and rest your back against the chair, closing your eyes as a gust of wind whistles by. Joel sits next to you, strumming away on his guitar while you enjoy the little sun that is out on his porch. “You stayed over?“ He bops his head with each chord he plays and you squint an eye at him, catching his relaxed expression. “Yeah, Ellie made us watch her favorite movies. Some pretty old stuff.“ You laugh and Joel puts his guitar down, a glimmer in his eyes. “Movies from the 80´s?“ He looks at you, and you tilt your head as you eye him up and down. His hair starts to grow over the tip of his ears and his forehead lays in thin wrinkles. “Yeah, she’s obsessed with them. Do you like them, too?“ You reach out and push some hair out of Joels face, making him chuckle. “Ellie and I used to watch them together back to when she was still living in my backyard.“ Joel gestures behind his house and you frown. “Why did you guys stop?“ Joel heavily exhales at your question and briefly looks into your eyes. “Thats a long story.“ Joel doesn’t meet your gaze and you take his face into your hands, leaning forward to softly kiss him on the lips. “I am here if you ever want to tell me.“ He‘s unsere how to respond to that, you can tell. But his mouth opens and the words start flowing out, even the smallest detail finally lifting from Joel’s haunted heart. He tells you everything. How he met Marlene and why  she asked him to bring Ellie to the fireflies, to make a vaccine against the virus. How his girlfriend back then sacrificed herself after being bitten, and how he and Ellie started to become an inseparable team. You couldn’t believe what Joel was telling you. Ellie is immune? There would have been a cure and a way out of his hellhole? “And when Ellie and I made it to the fireflies, and Marlene told me Ellie had to die, I just couldn’t let it happen.“ Joel runs a hand over his face and you listen, hand holding onto his knee. “I did what I had to do to get her out.“ Joels gaze hardens and he looks at you, face stern and mouth pressed tightly together. “I told her there is no cure, and her immunity isn’t of any use. That there are dozens like her, and they stopped looking for a vaccine.“ Joel swallows and you open your mouth, heart heavy with feelings you can’t express. It just sounds unreal. This terrible world is all you’ve known, and your friend could have been the key to end it all. “Oh Joel.“ You whisper, grabbing his hand when you see his shaking fingers. “She found out that I lied to her. Said she’s done with me.“ Joel clears his throat and looks into the distance, lip quivering dangerously. “I would have done the same.“ You say, mind slowly starting to work again. “Safe Ellie, I mean. Or you, doesn’t matter. I wouldn´t want to live without either of you, even if all of this would have come to an end.“ You gesture to the guarded fences and watchtowers, and the dangers that lay behind these walls. “So I understand.“ This makes Joel finally look at you, and you swear you see a tear running down his cheek but he’s quick to wipe it away. “I told Ellie the same. She came to me a couple weeks ago, said she doesn’t know if she can ever forgive me for that.“ Joel chuckles dryly and mindlessly traces the back of your hand with his thumb. “But she said that she likes to try.“ Joels voice breaks and you leap out of your seat, wrapping him into a bone crashing hug. His arms wind around your waist as you sit on his lap and kiss his forehead, leaning your cheek against it afterwards. “She will come around, you guys share a past. I´m sure she would have done the same for you.“ You brush over his back and he rests his head into the crook of your neck, his hot breath fanning over your cleavage. “I understand that she can’t forgive me for that. She’s right, I knew what she wanted and took that from her. But I would do it all over again if I had to.“ Joel breathes heavily and you nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “The things we do for love.“ You mumble, staring blankly into the distance. “The only other person who knows are Tommy and Maria.“ Joels voice is so quiet, unusual to his otherwise rough and deep way of speaking. You peel yourself away from him and tilt his head upwards to make him look at you. “I won´t tell anyone. Never.“ You lean down and capture your lips in a kiss, tasting coffee and simply him. He grunts and grabs your thighs harder, knuckles turning red from the cold. He doesn’t want to think about Ellie anymore, as it saddens him, and focuses on you instead. “Let´s go inside.“ He whispers, so that’s what you do. You grab his hand and pull him up, into the living room where you sit down and guide him to the empty space next to you. You push him deeper into cushions and keep a tight hold on his shoulders while you rest your legs on either side of his hip, sitting down on his crotch. “I wouldn´t want to miss you for the world.“ You whisper as you kiss the spot below his ear, hands messing up his unruly hair even further. Joel shivers under your touch and grabs your hips, breathing shakily into your ear. You feel his body tense and stop, paying attention to his face and running your fingertips over his wrinkles. “Let me show you how much you mean to me.“ With that you properly sit on his lap and grind back, feeling the rough friction of his jeans against your own clothes. Joels eyes flutter shut and his mouth opens slightly, a deep grumble coming from his throat. You cup his jaw and kiss him, tongue lazily licking his bottom lip and teasing the inside of his mouth. You want to distract him and make him happy, to truly make him understand that you’re there for him. You feel his hands creep up under your jacket and mirror his actions, hands opening the zipper of his jacket and peeling the fabric from his broad shoulders. Joel eagerly leans forward and removes his jacket, holding onto your lower back while he attacks your collarbones with kisses. His fingers move to your front and undo your jacket, joining his on the floor. You giggle and lean into him, pulling on his hair when he bites your sensitive flesh. “Joel-“You breathe out, grinding against him once more. “This is about you, not me.“ You remind him when you see his dark eyes and pink lips. He stops and looks at you, hand coming up to brush over the back of your neck. “making you feel good makes me feel good.“ He tries to connect your lips with his, but you turn your head and his lips land on your cheek instead. “just let me.“ You peck his lips when he frowns and slowly move to the side, exploring the harsh hairs of his beard while you kiss his jaw and neck, fingers quickly working on the buttons of his jeans. Joel starts sweating slightly and you remove his shirt, fingernails grazing the warm skin of his chest. You feel him grow beneath you and throw your head back, supporting one hand on his knee while you rock yourself back and forth on his crotch, sighing when his lips suck on your neck and dip deeper to the rim of your blouse. You quickly lift your arms and undress yourself, shivering when Joels breath meets the valley of your breasts. He carefully pushes the fabric of your bra down and kisses the soft flesh, humming when you press into him. You stop your movements and let him kiss your chest, hands flying into his hair and massaging his scalp. “Lean back.“ You whisper when you feel his kisses getting harsher and breaths quicker, hands impatiently playing with the rim of your jeans. He does as he’s told and watches you climb off him, getting out of your jeans and urging him to do the same. When he’s about to get rid of his underwear, you grab his hand and stop him. You guide his hands around your lower back and rest them on your bum as you climb back onto him, lining yourself directly onto his hard one and grinding your cores against each other. Joel buckles up into you and you almost moan, eyes squeezing shut and mouth opening. The air around you is hot and you feel your hair sticking onto your forehead, Joels own body heat only increasing your warmth. ���you´re teasing me.“ Joel mumbles against your neck when you press your fronts together. “Do you want me to stop?“ You ask in a low voice, lips dangling over his and touching as you speak. “No.“ He shakes his head and applies pressure to your bum, making you grind forwards. Your mouth forms into an o when you feel your wetness spreading onto him, and a shaky sigh slips past your lips. You run your hand down his belly and between your cores, feeling his clothed member in your palm before you pull his boxers down. Joel gets the hint and slides your underwear to the side, fingers holding it in place while he aligns with your entrance. “I love you.“ You whisper as he pushes into you, and you lower your hips to meet his thrust. Joel holds your lower back while you lean into him and looks into your hooded eyes, adoring your almost naked frame leaning against his. “I love you.“ He responds, mouth meeting yours for a soft kiss while you wrap your arms around his neck. Your chest almost suffocates him as you inch closer and move your hips back and forth, tensing your muscles at the hot friction against your core. Joel starts melting under you as well and his hands move upwards, cupping your neck with one hand while he holds you close. You lift your hips and sink down onto him, repeating the movement when you hear Joels heavy grunts next to your ear. Your forehead comes to rest against his shoulder when you grab onto the cushions for support, picking up on speed. “You feel so good.“ You kiss his neck and moan loudly when he thrusts into you, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the room. Joel grabs your chin and makes you look at him, the sight of him alone almost making you come undone. “I don´t ever want to lose you.“ He rests his forehead against yours and you cry out in pleasure as you continue to ride him, rocking your hips against his. “You´ll never lose me.“ You mumble between heavy breaths, kissing every inch of his face that you can reach. Joel gasps huskily when you shift your weight and lean back, allowing him to push deeper into you. “I´m yours and you’re mine.“ You look at him and run a finger over his open lip, smiling when he kisses your fingertip. Your whole stomach is in knots and you feel your legs getting weak, the friction on your core almost unbearable. Joel picks up on your tensing body and slips a hand between your hips, gently rubbing your bundle of nerves while you squirm on top of him. Your grip on his shoulders tightens and you furrow your brows as you sink harder onto him, feeling his own release nearing with each thrust. Another grind of your hips is all it takes for him to come undone, shielding your own body with his as he hugs you so tight all air leaves your lungs. You rest your whole body  against him as you let go, hot waves washing through your bones and making you see stars. Your hands slip from his shoulders and wander over your own body as you breathe abruptly, legs quivering and face tensed. The heat in your belly and chest gets overwhelming and you need Joel to hold you close, holding onto him for dear life. You hear your own blood rushing through your ears and Joels heavy pants next to it. "Oh god." You pinch your eyes shut and hide your face from Joel, body tensing one last time. After you calm down, you feel his fingertips on your back and sides, his beard tickling the side of your face. You move and let him slip out of you, shivering at the loss of contact. Joel carefully lifts you onto the seat next to him and pulls his boxers back up, hovering over you as you lay down on the couch. “Move in with me.“ He says, face glowing in the dim light. You laugh tiredly and grab his shoulders, pulling him on top of you. You wrap your aching legs around his middle and lock him in place while he rests his weight onto his elbow, face inches away from yours. “I´m serious. We wasted so much time with tiptoeing around each other, let´s not lose any more.“ He runs his hand through your hair and you swallow, eyes gazing back and forth into his own. This all feels like a dream, and as you come down from your high, you realise he’s still waiting for an answer. Are you moving at a quick pace? Yes. Do you have any doubts? No. “I´d love to move in with you.“ You close your eyes and kiss him, wrapping your arms around his chest and almost disappearing beneath his form.  “I feel like a teenager again.“ Joel shakes his head and unties himself from you, moving to grab a towel to get you cleaned up. You stretch your tired limbs and watch him skip up the stairs. “You´re quite the romantic, can´t deny that!“ You call after him, and laugh when you hear him huff. It’s true, Joel is way sweeter than you ever expected him to be. Behind his hard shell and fear of losing any more loved ones, the old Joel is still buried deep inside. And you managed, with lots of patience and love, to make him show you this side of him. You can´t even describe the amount of happiness you feel when you think about him, now that he’s an integral part of your life you no longer want to live without. You really managed to find love in times when death and horror rule the world, and you are beyond grateful for that. “Hey Joel?“ You say as you hear him rummaging upstairs. “Hmm?“ He responds, closing a drawer and stomping the stairs back down. You watch his trained form walk over to you and smirk, dangling your feet off the couch. “how about you take me out on a proper date once I moved in?“ You thankfully take the towel from him and quickly run it over your body before getting dressed again. Joel lets himself fall back against the cushions with a loud thud, and watches your every move. “I fear to disappoint you baby, options here a limited.“ He shrugs his shoulders and you stop buttoning your blouse as you hear the nickname slipping past his lips. “Oh I´m not asking for much.“ You walk over to him and stand between his legs, smoothing down his hair and staring at his chapped lips. “Just a nice evening on your porch with a glass of wine while you sing for me.“ You beam at him and he rolls his eyes, a chuckle erupting from his throat. “If that is all it takes to make you happy.“ He traps you in his arms and you eagerly sit down next to him, body worn out and tired. “You is all I need.“ You snuggle into him and close your eyes, his strong chest comfortably resting against your side as you swing your legs over his lap. He rests his hands on your knees and leans back himself, eyes falling shut and body relaxing. “All I need now is a nap.“ He mumbles and you laugh, sliding lower and resting your head against the pillows, sleep washing over you. 

-----

I feel like I´m moving their relationship too fast but I can't stop lol, I just need more happy Joel in my life

[border-spam]

Regarding ur pain snippet, would Troy feel comfortable venting around Sei? And if yes, how would they handle it??

Troy doesn’t feel comfortable venting about it with anyone. He’s spent his entire life trying to not be pitied while stumbling in the shadow of Tyreen’s blinding light, demanding perfection from himself to hide physical weaknesses and chronic illness from the greedy eyes of the billions of online followers who obsess over the twin’s every recorded breath.

But if you know God King Calypso well enough, if you’re close enough to him?

There are gentle ways to reassure Father Troy it’s safe to tell you the truth.

Sei and Troy are very close. 

They weren’t originally, it was actually Tyreen who was far more in tune with Seifa in those first couple of months together, back when the twins were recovering on her ship after their first failed attempt at surviving on Pandora.

Ty was engaging, a bubbly young woman full of endearing chattiness and interested in everything Sei did. A hundred questions an hour as she followed Sei around the ship like, what are sponsorships? How do you get marks to keep their eye on you and not be distracted by competition? How do you move to make them hungry for your body? How do you know when you’ve gone too far? How do you read the room? How do you - 

Tyreen had a million hows and a mouth that never seemed to need to rest, but Troy was silent. He had his reasons... he didn’t want to be there after all. 

Pandora had been cruel to them both from the moment their worn soles crunched into its acrid dust, but it had hurt Troy. Really, it had almost killed him.

He’d been left sick, uncomfortable in his own stretched skin, and wary of anyone who was other - which meant Seifa. Thinking back on it, she had been pretty insulted by how he’d acted in the first few weeks in her home, before she understood.

Tyreen on the other hand was thankful for her. She was a font of laughter and energy, flitting about the ship as her new friend worked and attempting to “help her” in thanks for the hospitality Sei had shown them, as if hindering her chores with constant interruptions was somehow going to pay her back for taking them in, but Troy? He was just... there. 

A looming, gangly shape standing awkwardly in corners. Rudely quiet, only proving he wasn’t mute through crackly whispers to his twin that would fall silent when Seifa would approach. A nervous, cagey giant of a child who came across as both irritated and terrified by Sei, till he’d finally talked, and he’d explained everything.

Tyreen had been the one who filled the ship with laughter in those first 6 months, but Troy had been the one to tell her the truth of things. 

They settled as companions, slowly.

By the time Seifa had accepted the twin's request to join their management staff in the early growth of the COV and had returned to Pandora, the friendship between the three was easy. 

Tyreen was still the focus of all attention mind you, it was still her who'd control the conversations and limelight when they'd meet each week in the "God Twin's" shared cloister to relax together in dropping their charades and becoming human again for a few hours.

Troy was happy just to sit between the women and smile as they eased into their drinks and each other's company on those nights. It was enough for him to simply exist next to people who liked his presence. There was warmth in those times, Sei's snorting laughter cracking a smile across his face he could never quite hide as she'd lean against the weight of his side, Ty insisting they watch as she theatrically reenacted how the day's encounter with off-world investors had gone. Never well for them, but always hilariously in her favor.

As the months turned to a year though, Tyreen just slowly stopped turning up.

They never really noticed as it happened, it was subtle, one missed night a month, then 2, then 3... It became Sei and Troy instead of Sei and the Twins.

The conversations would turn a little gentler without Tyreen's razor sharp energy to infect them, and they’d sit side by side, sharing snippets of each other's pasts, their hopes, and the things they both wanted from this newborn cult. Regrets sometimes, if the atmosphere was right.

The cloister slowly started to feel empty with just two people, and they knew deep down that Tyreen was unlikely to start joining again - she was far too busy with her God Queen persona and heaving fanbase to have the time to waste doing fuck all with close friends. The high walls and open space decor of the twin's shared quarters started feeling cold without her electricity, so they shifted to his ship instead. Troy's Sanctum.

She'd still turn up every so often, a couple of months of no appearances and then that crystalline laughter would ring through his quarters and they'd turn to raise a glass at the holy Vault Mother as she kicked off her boots with gusto and grabbed a seat, but eventually, that stopped too, and for quite a long time it was just Troy and Seifa on those nights, together in warm comfort.

A friendship that had bloomed into the easy, open kind where silence didn't mean awkwardness, where you could sit arm against arm and breath out the stresses of titles, and Godhood, and the crushing weight of responsibilities you never really asked for or wanted, and just... be. Just exist next to the reassuring presence of someone who never wanted more from you than what you could honestly give, because they knew who you really were, deep in your core.

It was Jak-Knife who joined next.

Troy's bodyguard had stood stoically outside his Sanctum's doors so many times that they’d become part of the evening, nodding at the Mechanicum's Saint as Seifa would arrive. Return her wink and knowing chuckle as they'd step to the side for her. It made sense they'd eventually find their way inside at his welcome, and the shared laughter in his home grew with their gruff warmth and open heart.

It was Ven, after.

The Oracle was impossible to avoid in general, he was a grandstanding assault on the senses with charisma almost as flamboyant as his dress sense, but the longer anyone spent around Ven, the easier it was to truly appreciate his company for what it really was. Someone who genuinely liked you for who you were, and not what his unique insight told him you could provide him in the future.

Troy had always had a soft spot for the gaudy soothsayer. Personal reasons maybe, he was the only one who knew what Ven had signed his life away to the COV in return for after all, and maybe that was why when Ven began to fill Sanctum with terrible stories and obvious lies about the beautiful people who fawned over him on benders in the Holy City's slums, it didn't take long before his delicate brother Eli joined them too. 

Seifa saw the connection even if the other's didn't, Eli's joint braces and medical equipment, the sadness in Troy's glances. Physical weakness, unashamed from someone so strong in character. She saw how Troy looked at the other man, the fleeting respect in those ice-blue eyes. The shame.

They became a unit in the end, Jk, Ven, Eli, Seifa, and their broken God King, a rickety family existing inside the guts of a monstrous one as the COV surrounded and spread through their lives with every passing day its grip across Pandora tightened.

But Seifa and Troy are very close.

They know each other, inside and out. They've shared their failures, illnesses, rages and tears. They are the keeper of each other's years of secrets. That he's so sick so often, that her right eye is practically blind, that he wishes he wasn't what he's turned into, that they are both so desperately lonely.

She knows how to manipulate him into being honest about the painful reality he carries in a body that's never really functioned well, that's gnawed at inside by half of a power no one understands enough to try and heal.

She perfected it by watching the other people who care about him.

JK, huffing theatrically as they eye an exhausted Troy's shaky hand as he forces himself to continue working, complaining that they are hungry, that he may be a workhorse but they need to rest, then chuckling at his blustery ego as he mocks them and takes the out.

Ven and his little white lies, his warnings that Troy needs to stop pouring over the latest viewer statistics and take a break, because he "got glances" at bad outcomes if they weren't left till later. The reassurances that everything will be fine and things will turn out better if he stops for the night.

Eli, explaining how the latest medication course Troy's medical team recommended really helped with the tension pull in his shoulders from his spinal issues, chatting in surprising detail about how relieving it's been, what dosage he's been taking...

Troy will not talk about his chronic issues with anyone, because he is terrified of appearing weak. She doesn't know why for definite, but she can guess, and is pretty sure it's related to his childhood. From the snippets he's given her, the emotionless monotone of his voice when he speaks about his father, well, she has hunches. 

Neither of the twins were happy as children, neither of them talk about "home" with even a vague sparkle of joy in their dead eyes. But Troy, he shies away from it, like there is something he's ashamed of, or the lingering ghost of something that haunted his early years and follows him still.

Troy is terrified of being pitied, because he so desperately wants to be seen as reliable. He wants to be strong. He wants to be useful.

So to get him to open up? You need to ask for his help.

Sei is a clever woman, and Troy is a lost, broken man who is so easy to wrap around her finger that sometimes she wonders at times if it's intentional.

When she sees him flagging, when his skin is a little lighter than normal, the dark under his eyes deeper, she'll play the damsel. She'll let him be the knight in shining armour that the little boy in him so clearly wishes it could have grown into. Sei will gasp gently when they are alone in his ship on these nights, pinch her lip between her teeth as she slowly rotates her wrist and stares sadly at the tremor that runs through it. She'll act it out, knowing he's watching, and wait for him to take the bait.

He always does - he can't help it. He'll always try and help her even when he's sick or exhausted. He'll always approach and ask if she's ok even if a migraine is rendering him barely able to stand.. because that's who he is. That’s the real Troy DeLeon.

She'll sit on the plush edge of the recessed couch in the floor of his Sanctum, and wait for him to shakily lower his towering body to the cushioned floor in front of her, before he gently takes her wrist in a hand that could easily crush it.

She'll wince, flutter her eyelashes with a gasp, and nod along to his muttered questions as he turns it so carefully, crankily asking when it last acted up, why hasn't she seen the specialist he contacted months ago, why she’s not taken time off when he knows he’s not working her that hard, why is she such a pain in the ass, how bad does it hurt, is he helping...

Seifa will wait, all quiet sighs and hitched breaths till he's so focused in shifting the tiny bones of her wrist under the pressure of his thumb that she can ask him how he feels, and he'll tell her.

That's the key. 

Troy Calypso is so terrified of being seen as less because of his pain, that he'll pretend it doesn't exist, he'll suffer in silence alone in the sorrow of his empty ship. But if he's protecting someone else? If he is massaging the old fracture in Seifa's wrist and lost in the concentration of trying to ease her distress? He'll tell her about his neck if she asks, or the pain in the dull hollow of his lumbar, or how he's thrown up 4 times today, how he woke up the other night and was sure his heart had stopped.

He'll mumble out secret fears he was hiding behind the God King's vicious mask for weeks, and he'll let her run fingers through his hair as she tells him how strong he really is.