#It's actually the same with some people in the fandom

[ao3commentoftheday]

I know tag wranglers do a lot of work connecting tags etc. Is there anything authors can do to make their jobs easier for them like trying to mostly use canonical tags or not making tag comments?

Thanks!

This is a great question, and I'll do my best to answer it but I do hope that some wranglers add on in the notes! I'm also just going to preface this with the fact that you should still tag however you like to tag. This list isn't meant to be a checklist or anything. It's just info I've picked up over the years and you can take or leave each piece as you see fit.

Okay, so the first thing that most non-wranglers should know is that wranglers see tags separately from the fic. They get a big bin full of tags to sort through and match up in the system, but they'll only see your fic and the other tags you've added to it if they decide to go look.

That's important to know because sometimes a user will tag something like [character] is so sexy and then also tag by which I mean they're a huge dork. The wranlger won't see that second tag and won't know that they're connected so your sarcastic tag will end up synned (matched up to) sexy!Character or whatever the canonical is, as if that was the meaning you were going for.

Another good thing to know is that tags can only be synned if they only have 1 idea in them. So if you tag, say, [character] is gay and autistic then the wrangler can't actually syn that to either [character] is gay or character is autistic because it only half-fits either tag. To have them synned in the database, you would need to tag those two ideas separately.

You might have already seen the post I made referencing the fact that you don't have to tag multiple versions of the same idea (unless you want to for the aesthetic) because the synning that wranglers do makes sure that tagging one idea allows users to filter for all versions of that idea. But in case you didn't know that, now you do!

Wranglers are often members of the fandoms they wrangle, but they aren't always. Sometimes they'll take on a fandom that doesn't otherwise have a wrangler because they like to do research or because they like small fandoms or for many other reasons. But that means that if you're tagging your OCs by name, you should add (OC) to the end so that they know it's not a canon character that they aren't familiar with. This is double true in huge fandoms like Star Wars where there are millions of canon characters and just as many OCs.

Wranglers don't "seed" tags in fandoms. For a tag to exist, users need to create it. The rule of thumb is at least 3 fics from 3 separate authors, but that's very much the minimum and in fast-moving or huge fandoms the bar is probably higher. Also, for brand new fandoms, it's entirely possible that they won't know you exist until you tell them. Back in January I was the first person to write in a brand new fandom so I knew I had to start the tags, and I waited until there were 25 or so works by 15 or so creators before I emailed Support because I know I have to be patient - but I'm still impatient by nature lol.

Another thing to know is that tags are kind of like proton packs - they can't cross the streams. If you put a tag in the Character field by mistake, wranglers can't move it to the Additionals. This can also work in your favour, though, because if you have a minor character or minor relationship that you want to tag because there's some kind of fandom drama happening and people want to be able to avoid them, you can tag them in the Additional Tags so that people can know they're in there, but the people who like that character or ship can still filter the Character and Relationship tags without seeing a bunch of works that don't really focus on them.

This got super long, so I'll end with your question about tag comments. I know people worry that it makes extra work for tag wranglers if you get all chatty in your fic tags but I've been reassured by more than one wrangler over the course of several years now that it's no extra work. They just shovel those tags into the gaping maw of the Unfilterable Beast - which is the same thing they do with those tags that have multiple concepts in them. If it can't be synned, then that's where they go.

(keep tagging that way, though, if you like to because that's how new concepts get created and eventually canonized)

Alright, I that's all I can think of off the top of my head, and the list was actually longer than I thought! Wranglers: please do add on with other things you wish users knew, and please correct me if anything has changed since the last time I delved into this topic!

Editing to add: a wrangler pointed out in the tags that [character] is autistic and gay can itself become a single tag if enough people use it. That's true of other tags with multiple meanings as well. They just can't be synned with existing tags in the meantime.

[naneun-no]

“Just because they’re close doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship, stop sexualizing everything they do”

Then call them best friends, Becky. Say it. Say that Jimin and Jungkook are connected-at-the-hip-share-a-single-brain-cell-soulmate-level best friends. Just like Jimin and Tae, right? Say it.

Actually, be specific and call them the closest duo in Bangtan, because at a minimum that’s what they are. Like, if you don’t want to say they’re each other’s real life best friend (meaning outside of BTS), at least say that they are closer to each other than they are to any other member — because you can at least acknowledge that, right?

And if you’re so sure they’re “brothers” then celebrate it! Stop pretending it isn’t special, call it a bromance! Ooh and ah over it, like people do when married male actors have a public bromance. Call them the next Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, the next Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey. (Even if, rather than publicly roasting and joking with each other; they are more often than not sweetly supportive and flirtatiously complimentary…That’s fine, call them a CHEESY bromance).

But nobody will.

It’s either, “ALL SEVEN of them are so close and love each other like brothers” or “Jungkook has such a big crush on Namjoon 🤭” or “vmin are still the closest, they have a song about it!” or “Korean men have skinship in their friendships, shippers are so weird, stop projecting your fantasies” but it’s never “ah, well, season 2 of that soft little show? No one is surprised. As expected from the best friends who enlisted in the military under a rare, special Buddy system. Jikook are jikook. Of course they want to hang out together 24-7.”

People flood to the comments section to (very mildly, with much restraint) praise their bond, but NO ONE will call it the closest in the group, even though it objectively is. Well, no one but a subset of the fandom who immediately get called creeps and weirdos and fetishizers.

No one but shippers will acknowledge their closeness and it’s so obvious why:

Because if you acknowledge their closeness, if you do anything but minimize and ignore it, it starts to look a whole lot like something else.

And people are too homophobic to allow that.

Jungkook and Jimin enlisting together under a Buddy system that no other idols in the same group have ever used shows closeness.

Jungkook and Jimin filming not just one but TWO seasons of a travel show that primarily follows JUST the TWO of them (when they are part of a band of 7) shows CLOSENESS.

Jungkook going to Jimin’s house after a concert to cook him dinner and then the two of them going out the next day to presumably spend White Day together shows CLOSE. NESS.

Jungkook going live in 2023 every time Jimin left town, and mentioning Jimin relentlessly and making him flat out the entire topic of some of the lives shows that Jungkook thinks of him when he’s gone.

Jungkook complaining that he missed Jimin when they were both busy, Jungkook saying he wants to film travel shows with Jimin until they’re 50, Jimin mentioning Jungkook in the letters he posted while enlisted alongside him, Jungkook’s voice giggling from behind the camera while he films Jimin’s dance challenge for him…

Jimin saying if he could take one thing with him to a desert island it would be Jungkook. Jungkook saying if he was a girl he’d want to date a guy like Jimin. Jungkook showing up with a hickey Jimin gave him because they got drunk together and Jungkook wouldn’t stop spinning him in his arms. The same arms he proudly carried Jimin out of a concert with, while Jimin giggled and blushed.

Jason Momoa and Henry Cavill? Tom Holland and Jake Gylenhaal? Selena and Taylor? THEY COULD NEVER.

Everything jikook shows us points to a best-friendness of EPIC PROPORTIONS at the LEAST. They should be the best friend duo that gets talked about the MOST IN BANGTAN. They’re so close locals should know about it. Not Jimin and Hobi. Not Jimin and Taehyung. Not Hoseok and Yoongi. Not Yoongi and Namjoon. Not Jungkook and Jin. Not the maknae line. Jikook have lapped all of them, and they have for years, but ESPECIALLY in the last 3 years.

And in the last two weeks? In the last two/three WEEKS???

If Jungkook and Jimin were a man and a woman the events of the last two weeks would be a HARD LAUNCH, and EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

It is only — I repeat: ONLY — heteronormativity that keeps the majority of ARMY from assuming they are dating. That’s it. That’s literally the only reason anyone in the fandom is even arguing about what they are right now. (Well, that and rival ships, which at this point should really only be referred to as patched-together inflatable rafts).

Call them just best friends. I respect that take! Some people don’t see the romance and tension and affection that I see, and that’s cool! Call them the best of friends.

But for the love of god stop minimizing their closeness. Stop pretending they treat anyone else in the band the way they treat each other. Stop pretending that they’re not choosing each other over and over and over again.

And don’t call them fake, or forced, unless you want to talk about the fact that everything we see about them is official content. Not unless you want to pry open the can of worms that is your parasocial relationship with them and acknowledge the hard truth that you actually don’t know either of them at all.

But one thing we know? They know each other. Like. Reaaaaallly well.

[rupeenotruby]

I view og Link and Hyrule and separate characters despite the fact that they are technically the same character. Because of this I have certain headcanons for them that don't transfer over, and I thought it would be fun to talk about them! When interacting with LU I try to keep headcanons as close to the comic as possible, especially when it comes to Hyrule as this makes it more fun for me. Therefore, you will see a lot of the reasoning for headcanons being pretty much "it's like that in the comic."

For whatever reason, Link is depicted with his sword on his hip instead of his back like most other Links.

(There is also a post card with AoL Link on it riding a motorcycle that has him have his sword on his hip (I couldn't find it). Less canon than the manual to me but still interesting.). In LU however Hyrule puts his sword on his back like everyone else!

In both TLoz and AoL Link technically holds his sword in both hands as they flip the sprite instead of drawing a new one depending on which way Link is facing so that his sword hand is always closest to the screen.

(All sprites in this were ripped by Mister Mike)

And I KNOW!!! it is most likely due to hardware limitations but if the Tp Link gets to be headcanoned as ambidextrous because his entire game was flipped so can this Link!!! This isn't really something I see get acknowledge much by the fandom (in fact I've only seen it mentioned TWICE) and it isn't mentioned in LU. I like left-handed Link so even though he is ambidextrous he still mostly uses his sword in his left hand.

Link isn't that short!!!! ... at least in his Hyrule. Observe:

So, I put him at an averageish height. Honestly it doesn't matter what his actual height is since this is a fantasy world but whatever it is he is slightly above average. Hyrule however? He isn't that tall in a group of Links so he is definitely below average in height 😭 I would say in real world terms Link is around 5'9 and Hyrule is around 5'5.

There are three ways to approach Link's fairy form.

He shrinks and grows wings

He turns into a little creature (which is someone's fanmade fairy design)

Or he looks like one of the fairies in his game

I see the most of the first one and even if it isn't how it looks in game it's popularity makes sense. I prefer the third option (if you couldn't tell) cause I think it's fun and closest to canon (I suppose if you wanted to be 100% canon you would give him a total make over x). I base it on a combo of the manual and the game. I've heard along the grapevine Hyrule's fairy form goes the first route and has dragonfly wings which I think is a good fit in terms of bug wings. Also I want antennae!

(My designs for the Zeldas aren't final shhhhh) I don't really ship much but I can see Link and Princess Zelda getting married for political reasons (there's the whole "great king" thing and having two princesses which could create some succession issues and I think Link getting married would just clear things up and look good to the people of Hyrule. I think he would marry the first Zelda he meets because I've always seen her as the more leader type and politically oriented of the two). That being said I don't think Link would actually be attracted to either Zelda. Or anyone. This isn't really based on anything except for the fact that I said so lol.

Now Hyrule has a bit more explaining. I keep the political/platonic marriage to Dawn but the zelink of choice for him is with Aurora because when I was first reading LU I thought it was being set up in a way that put all the Links with their "primary" non-Zelda love interests except for Sky. So Time with Malon, Legend with Marin, Twilight with Midna and Wild with Mipha (don't ask about the other three I did not think about them all that often) and all of those are redheads.... so since I headcanon Aurora with the red hair I thought Hyrule would be shipped with her. I've later found out this isn't the case and that some Links are going to end up with their Zeldas but xD I don't really care ships don't matter that much in LU anyways and honestly I don't even know if Jojo considers the Zeldas to be separate people. Also why don't I just have the marriage be between Hyrule and Aurora? Ehhhh. Errrrm.. I really like platonic marriages.

This is a pretty common headcanon and it is based on two lines from the first manual and the second manual. In the first manual it established that Link was a traveler (hence the nickname in LU). "During his travels he had come across Impa and Ganon's henchmen." In the second it says "Link remained in the little kingdom of Hyrule and lent his hand to its restoration." Which implies that either Link was planning to leave Hyrule (and thus could be from Hyrule) or had traveled to Hyrule (and thus wasn't from Hyrule).

I choose to see it as that he isn't from Hyrule. I also think it is fun to have the "Hero of Hyrule" not be from Hyrule. A lot of people go with Calatia (which is canon to the comics and I don't consider the comics to be canon) and I go with that too because honestly it doesn't really matter where he came from, just that it isn't Hyrule.

Technically Link is always touching the Magical Sword in AoL so I've always pictured it as a magic wand of sorts for his magic making it stronger and more focused hence why he doesn't start all this fancy magic until after he gets the sword. Link can use magic without it it's just not as good (like the sword beams). I just think it is a little odd that the "Magic Sword" doesn't seem to do anything special. Obviously this doesn't apply to Hyrule as he heals Twilight without the sword.

Some people get this wrong but in AoL it states that "One day, a strange mark, exactly like the crest of the kingdom, appeared on the back of Link's hand as he approached his 16th birthday." And I think it's pretty likely that he set out right after hearing the Legend of Zelda from Impa and celebrated his birthday on the road. So, I think it would be funny he got whisked away to the LU adventure right before his 18th birthday and just never mentioned it.

That's all! Obviously, I have more headcanons but they can be applied to both Link and Hyrule to varying degrees. I first played AoL four years ago now (six years ago for TLoZ) and found LU a little while after AoL. In the beginning my view of Link and Hyrule were pretty cloudy but as time has gone on they have solidified into different characters in my mind that would do slightly different things. That being said the LU fandom has been an awesome source of headcanons and perspectives on Link.

One of the headcanons that I know for certain that has come from the LU fandom is the fact that Link can's swim. Which yeah! Isn't it weird that he uses all sorts of ways to traverse water but none of them involve getting in the water? Or that a way to insta die in AoL is falling in lava or water? Maybe I would have come to that conclusion on my own or maybe not but who cares about the "maybes."

There are a lot of things the fandom does in regard to Hyrule that I disagree with but find interesting, or dislike, or hate, or things I agree with and love! But no matter what it has made me see a game that means so much to me in so many different ways. And isn't that the point of being in a fandom?

[ackermanrage]

"Protective Levi" "Quiet Levi" HAHA! Levi chokes us and spits on us and tells us to know our place so like it or not its the most popular opinion and works best with Canon so stop writing this imaginary daydream of him! Shoutout to all REAL Levi girlies writing the nastiest degenerate fics about him, you know who you are and you know our man Levi better than this soft sub crap 💝😜🎀

Hey! I’m still getting into writing that type of content, so I totally get that there’s a huge audience for the more intense, explicit Levi stuff���and mad respect to the writers who do it well. That said… Levi would be protective, and he is quiet.

Let’s be real: no one actually knows how Levi would treat a romantic partner. He’s never had one on-screen, so everything we write—whether it’s choking and spit or the whole protective and quiet thing—it's just interpretation. So saying one version is “real” and the rest are “soft” or fake? That’s kind of wild.

Some of us like writing him cold and brutal. Some of us like writing him soft and caring. Some of us want both. And that’s what makes fandom fun—different takes, different cannons, but still the same short king.

Let people cook 💅🏻

[crustyfloor]

Personally, I like Mizi's shift in demeanor in karma, I feel like it's always been long coming for a deceptively positive character like herself. It's sudden, because I feel like it's obvious that she had reached an instant breaking point after Till's death, it was her final mistake, cementing her feelings of guilt that pushed her into a frenzy of nihilistic self-centered irrationality. She's definitely out of her right state of mind, but her actions and monologuing aren't anything to be rationalized with nor justified; her guilt and self-hatred manifest in such a destructive way that even though, for obvious reasons, she needs to be empathized with and she needs understanding, her actions still led to the destruction of the rebellion's project, and the death of what could've been a significant amount of humans, they were forced to be collateral damage because of Mizi's self-imposed sense of revenge and atonement and self-hatred.

It is so ugly and selfish, the way she decided everyone's fate for them and destroyed something that wasn't hers to begin with; it wasn't her place, but I believe the honesty of humanity is the message here. When Mizi was pushed to the brink, it's not surprising that she lashed out like this. It's visceral and raw, I think a part of me was expecting her to jump back from the bottom before Karma because I didn't anticipate Vivinos would want to explore this kind of route, and the fandoms response would be very divisive, which it is right now--But I appreciate the truth in that Mizi let emotions take over her in a moment of absolute despair, some people can't relate to that weakness and would've wanted her to do the right thing but this is probably the most realistic narrative she could've taken on in my opinion, Mizi, for the longest time, had been hanging on only by a thread of hope, continuously being strained, until that too was destroyed-- this episode shows how the total lack of faith and hope in a series where the format of religion/faith is used as a canvas for hope and love can destroy a person

As Mizi narrates Karma, her words reflect her skewed mindset; she sounds so deceptively matter-of-fact that we're being brought into her mind. But they're clearly not all true, and very clearly grief-stricken, and projected with self-hatred. In fact, she's cruel-- her words are so blatantly heartless in the face of humanity's plight and the love that they all so desperately cling to, because she's lashing out and projecting her own grief and hopelessness

Now that I think about it, it feels like a direct parallel to her perspective in the very beginning. In my Clematis, she had hope-- she thought that there was a chance if she believed

But now, Mizi has come to resent humanity's efforts at remaining hopeful, determined, and loving because she feels hopeless and destroyed . She goes from berating herself for her actions to feeling contempt for humanity as a whole. I feel like she was convinced that if this is where her efforts of trying and hoping brought her, then the effort itself is a hopeless endeavor that is only fueled by self-interest. And doesn't it look like she's completely justified and validated in that thinking?

It feels like a direct response to Wiege, the way HyunA sees the world and the message Wiege was trying to convey about humanity, contrasts sharply with how Mizi sees it. Actually, I don't think it's realistic to call either of their perspectives inherently wrong. I believe that both should exist. HyunA and Mizi are two sides of the same coin, humanity. As is human nature, humans realistically live in this duality. HyunA believes that humanity can always persevere from the brink as long as love and hope and determination continues to exist, and there is some truth to Mizi's words that humans hurt themselves and each other, they may be idealistic, self-centered, they may be selfish and use each other, that happens, but that doesn't make the passion of hope and love useless like she's saying, that is her pain being projected. "And even if we'd been granted freedom, we'd have still felt alone" is her loneliness and lack of faith in humanity being projected. "We're creatures who can't seem to love without exploiting" is her feelings of guilt and self-blame being projected.

Mizi knows that humanity struggles, but she specifically believes that humans instigate this suffering upon themselves because of their selfish innate nature, yet, (and it really depends on your perspective) but there's some truth and some misguided interpretation to that idea in the sense that it should be said that humans are bound to do that to other humans, especially in this setting, but Mizi neglects empathy and understanding (especially with the truth that in this case they are all victims in some shape/form and humans don't always inflict their own suffering, sometimes it's another force (cough) aliens (cough) ) because this too is a part of her projection and self-hatred, but the thinking itself... I believe this thinking is just incredibly nuanced, even for how (very) flawed it is.

So with that... What pushed Mizi to sabotage the rocket? to me, in the sense that the rocket was built on human passion, it's the embodiment of hope that "One day, our voices will be heard across the universe and we will use our voices to take back what was taken from us" yet Mizi's actions destroy that hope in one fell swoop and lead to a destructive reality, it is symbolic for how her hope was destroyed in that moment and she took it out on everyone else.

I also think she did it because she wanted to destroy the stage, to attempt to bring down the system she was born into through the prime source, She knew that by stopping the rocket mid-air that it would come back down, it would destroy everything around her, and knowing that she was still on it, it felt like she was inducing her own punishment. It's an act of retribution and atonement for what suffering in her life she believes she caused, for the precious lives that were taken "because of her", as if there is no better fate for her than death because of that. After all, it's just like what she told Luka, "Neither you nor I deserves to be saved."

I'd also like to talk about this scene of baby Mizi crying that comes directly after this, If this scene is meant to play into parallelism, then I believe it's meant to be a parallel to Mizi's mindset

In this scene, baby Mizi is alone and sobbing until she is comforted by other (angel-like) children. This is Mizi at her core, Mizi who forced herself to nearly suffocate so that her guardian would send her to Anakt Garden because she wanted to be with other human children, not alone with aliens that treated her insensitively like a cute puppy, now that Mizi of the present feels completely alone, once again hopeless, her mind reverts back to that sobbing, lonely child until she is comforted by other victims like herself. Mizi does all of this because she can't bear the despair she's feeling and the loneliness she's been brought back to; all of the people she held dear are assumed dead because of *her*.

Mizi essentially lashes out impulsively like a child, after all, I think all of the cases of her lashing out have been the product of her unregulated emotions, especially like the Round 5 scene of her punching Luka, it wasn't really because she was angry specifically at him, but because she didn't know what else to do, he pushed her into an outburst, so this makes sense to me. This scene speaks for her victimhood and the solidarity that she had wanted to have in the very beginning, as much as it points to the fact that she's not doing the things that she's doing right now with the right conscience.

The rocket falls, as does Mizi's hope and innocence symbolically. It's a horrific scene yet I can't help but read the sequence where the children metaphorically fall from the rocket as Mizi's idea of relief, I don't think anyone would've wanted it to happen like this, but this is how Mizi sees herself making right on the lives that were lost to the stage by destroying it, she would think of it that way because she's seen their lives being taken in front of her own eyes, she's felt the grief because of what Alien stage has taken from her first-hand, as aforementioned, it's bittersweet retribution and atonement. It might be like poetic justice on her conscience with the way the spirits of the children are smiling and cheering in contrast to the aliens' horror and the destruction all around them

Should it be a parallel to theology, I think back to this scene, it is also almost directly paralleling the crucifixion of Jesus, the thorns piercing through the hands, akin to Jesus's hands nailed to the cross, and the thorns around the heart, similar to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

I'd say this statue feels more like a symbolic Mizi, though. In Christian theology, Jesus's death on the cross is mostly understood as a sacrifice to atone for all of humanity's sins. Jesus took on the punishment, whereas Mizi is accepting karma for the sins of humanity reflected in herself and her love. The pain and suffering inflicted by the thorns wrapped around her heart in theology are meant to symbolize the sins of mankind that caused Jesus's crucification. So the love that she was born with, that she believes is manifested by selfishness, she will die for all the suffering she's caused with it (so in a sense, rather than a sacrifice on Jesus's part for the love of humanity, Mizi is taking up punishment and forcing humanity to bear the brunt of it for the "wicked" nature that they all share)

I think Mizi was fully intending to die on that stage, but what's shown in this next scene is so fascinating (brought me to some tears, to be completely honest). Personally, it's such a powerful and deep thing to me, just to show that despite Mizi's display of inhumanity, she is still human, for her to go back to Till's body and hold him even in the middle of the fire even if she didn't know or probably didn't even have hope that he was alive...just to stay with him. Just like she went back to save him during Round 7, knowing it was a risky bargain. She's just always reaching out for familiarity and comfort, to comfort and be comforted; it's in her nature to be kind and loving.

Even though she resents humans for this "selfish" behavior and love-- even though she sees herself as that inhumane, selfish person-- she is always contradicting herself because she isn't that person. Her view of herself is so obviously distorted by grief and self-hatred, once we see things from a different angle.

(like really... saying she probably just didn't love Sua enough, while it's actually shown that Mizi really was desperate and had immense love for her, when it's not her narrating. All because she felt at fault and felt like she had tossed Sua away when she died. )

I believe this plays into her sudden shift when she hears Till's heartbeat; it essentially snaps her out of it and brings her character back, that loving, hopeful woman. Because, in fact, her love is her hope. "Humans and their lives and love are the root of all suffering," and that's why Mizi thinks she should destroy it alongside herself, but when she realizes Till is breathing, it's like a signal for hope.

Alongside Mizi and HyunA, Till is another symbol for humanity in Alien stage because of his constant perseverance and the life and love that he has; it's a miracle that he managed to survive, it's once again hope. Mizi's will to have faith and hope and determination is rekindled in that moment so she could get back up and save him from dying there-- I think this, coming back from the brink like that because of the love she had for someone dear was shown to convey that we never really lost Mizi, she was just so broken and lost. She became a different person with a twisted perspective encapsulated by suffering and grief, yet she still holds humanity's hope and love and perseverance in her-- it all shows that even in the dark ruins of human nature, even through what humans could become at their worst, love and hope will never disappear

Like in Genesis: The birth of creation, which portrays love as a foundational aspect of humanity, God created humanity with love and the ability to love. In the beginning, there was love; to the end, there will always be love, that's why Mizi suffers and grieves, but that's why she lived and had happiness. Humanity is nuanced in its determination for life and its suffering.

When Vivinos said that alien stage was meant to be a commentary on the human nature, love, and how the dead can impact the ones left to walk in their memory, I bet this is what she meant, even if it's not perfect nor the complete hopeful ending I was anticipating, like the rebellion succeeding and crushing the aliens, nobody dies and everyone can be happy... I believe it was right to show the nuance of humanity, human emotions, that grief can turn ugly, and humanity is flawed. The special complexity revealed in the fact that the world these humans were born into didn't even give them a chance to have innocence, to let this love prosper properly, yet humans will always find a way to persevere and love through it.

(side note this hand-holding scene was so cute)

Even like this, humanity still ends up proving its perseverance again through Till and Mizi, it's as much of a hopeful ending as you can get, I still think there is more to add to this to convey it's full potential (Like with the rest of the alive trio's perspectives) so I'm personally hopeful to see how they show this narrative that they've chosen for the characters, but I really appreciate this ending for how down to earth and real it is.

[xstardrops]

FORM

Okay I really didnt expect People to react so good to the idea ahhh- So after already talking with some people yesterday about it, everybody agreed on a Discord Server. Thats the Plan for now. We can have everything seperated there, everybody can talk to eveybody and share ideas annd things they made! On the other Hand I expect people to behave, no fighting, no bullying- this is all going to be a chill fun project thats supossed to be fun okay! (For those who havent seen the other post, this is a project about making a Saja Boys x Manager Dating Sim/Visual Novel) To Have everything sorted out I made a little Google Form, just to have it all at the same place and not everywhere on Tumblr; https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScaBYbXbeOkF_CbKGxJmTBiNRGkQcRIAVSAsVMvTZM0XM8yyA/viewform?usp=header There are actually just 3 things on it =Discord (Should Explain itself, I kinda need it to add you) =Section (In what Section of the game you wana help out with) -That doesnt mean you just have to focus on your choice, you can help with everything if you feel like it or change your mind mid server later, its just something so I have a rough overview okay so dont sweat it♥ =And if you have anything you really want added in the game (Thats just something for me to see maybe some main plots in the start we can work or way to so nobody gets dissaponinted!

Just in case the game gets a little "spicy" not nsfw or something but yknow, targeted to adults, would be great if youre 18+ so everyones on the same page! So Like I said in the other post, this is going to be a free fanmade project, so no money involved. Itll be just a nice fandom project♥ If you still have any questions you can still dm me here, happy to answer every question! I also wanna thank everybody for the great reactions yesterday it made me really happy ahhhh! So I wish you all a great day! Also I hope the form works

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello hello! I’m new here but not new to the fandom by any means but I’ll be truthful, I’ve been inactive for years. I saw one of your answers floating around Twitter so I decided to dust off ye ol’ tumblr and have a chat. My question is: does it ever just feel? Overwhelming? I firmly believed in H&L for years but it got to the point where we were analyzing tee shirts for hidden messages (this is post RBB/SBB saga) and celebrating when one of them wore blue or green or certain numbers and it just felt like I was participating in nitpicking. Like the fandom was literally nitpicking tiny things to validate our beliefs. Then I left. You’ve been here for years. It never feels overwhelming at times? Like “what are we doing analyzing tee shirt references or other minute things? Has it really come to this?” I think I struggle with guilt feeling like “are we actually listening to them? Do they want us to do this or are we way overstepping?” And I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings. Your thoughts?

Yeah, of course it feels overwhelming. There have been some particular points that come to mind where I was personally like 'dude, I'm out'.

But, what I'm getting from your ask is that you largely felt overwhelmed based on the content you were surrounded by, and not what was actually happening. And to that I say: a big portion of the fandom remaining somewhat fun is making sure you're getting content from the right people. In other words, people who know their shit -- who know facts, who will honestly differentiate between canon and headcanon, and who are also willing to adapt their understanding of who Larry are now versus who they were in the earlier years.

For example, the blogs I follow don't read into coded clothing anymore, unless it's in an overtly attention calling way, like at Glasto. And, even then, the call to read into Louis' shirt came from a series of events -- liking the tweet + H stunting -- and not just because he was wearing a shirt, you know what I mean?

Sure, the blogs I follow will make memes and jokes, but they know that the coded clothing heyday of Larry is very much over, the same way the era of RBB/SBB is also over.

Longevity in fandom (in any fandom, as I've learned) is down to finding people who can have measured and reality based conversations about things, and who know when to put headcanon and speculation to bed. I think a lot of the more measured takes on Larry have been buried by the Old Guard leaving, because I remember a time when we really really really cultivated a culture of vetting and fact-checking, and it feels like we've largely lost that.

A lot of us have forgotten the reason we got into Larry in the first place, which was to support two people who were asking us to see them and their love. Signaling to us. Fighting for themselves and needing our support to do it.

I think there are much fewer Larries now who hold true to that call, and are willing to adjust their expectations based on what we're reading from older Larry and what they need from us now. Many more people would now prefer to treat this like a huge game of Come Out Clue and then will throw tantrums when they're no closer to "winning" than they were a year ago.

And yeah, if those are the people you're seeing content from, then I'm not surprised it took a toll on you.

[things-keeping-me-up-at-night]

It‘s always so funny to read what people on Reddit are thinking about The Bear because I do not agree with A SINGLE THING

Like…did we watch the same show??? The Syd hate has always been rampant but it is especially bad now and you cannot tell me that it isn‘t rooted in sexism and racism. She‘s (barely) on the same level of irrational behaviour and complexity as Carmy and Richie but somehow, they always seem to get a pass but she doesn‘t.

„But we like Tina, Ebraheim and Marcus, it‘s just that she‘s not good at her job“- okay, first of all, these are not main characters so they get a lot less screen time (aka time to do things wrong) and I think it‘s more fair to compare her treatment to that of the other main characters.

Secondly, these three characters have been absolute sweethearts for the majority of the show, so people would have to reach pretty far to come up with any reason for criticism.

Thirdly: that‘s such a lie because people on that sub have been hating on Marcus for YEARS because of the donut thing. Yes, he was in the wrong in that situation, but let‘s not forget that, even recently, there have been so many posts saying „say what you want, I still hate Syd and Marcus for their behaviour during Reviews, Carmy was in the right“ which is an ok opinion to have, but people kept repeating it even after season 3, so it took at least two seasons for a lot of them to forgive Marcus for something that was a lot less harmful than so much of what Carm and Richie did. So…do I think that characters of colour on this show are held to a different standards than white ones? Yes.

„But we’re not sexist, we love Claire, and Jess is so cool, she‘s actually the true leader The Bear needs, I‘m actually only excited to watch season 5 for her and Richie“ don‘t piss me off.

Listen, there are complex female characters in this show other than Syd, absolutely, who are much more well-liked by those fans than she is; Nat and Tina in particular. But both of them - other than Tina in season 1, who honestly feels like a different character from who we got for the rest of the show (which I‘m not complaining about) - have really have never done anything wrong that would justify any hate for these people. They‘re kind, uplifting and, most importantly, pretty much always in the right in what they do. They also do not have the kind of conflicts with Carm and Richie that Sydney does, which I think is key to how they‘re perceived in comparison to her.

Going back to Claire and Jess though: the fact that the female characters who are the most beloved by that portion of the fandom are the ones who are pretty much living plot devices on this show is absolutely laughable.

Now, I warmed up to Claire and her relationship to Carmy over the course of the last two seasons, but these people have been up her ass from the second she looked at Carmy with big eyes and kept going on and on about how enticing she is, how good she is for him…same goes with Jess, who is such a nothing burger of a character but somehow ended up as their absolute favourite - because, again, there‘s no complexity there.

Other than bringing about the needed change in S4 (which could have been done by any other character, including Tina and Syd if Carm had actually listened to them), her sole purpose on the show is to motivate Richie and be a non-controversial potential love interest to him, which is lame af (in my humble opinion).

Listen, I‘m not saying she has no personality (I‘m sure they‘re going to give her one in S5, which is a waste of time imo because we have so many more interesting characters already, but I‘ve already seen those people talk about how they hope she is given some sort of tragic backstory…I guess so she can fit in? Or so they can say „hey, no, she‘s actually not one-dimensional!!!“…listen to yourselves.) but the people who love her this much are the reason the ‚cool girl‘ trope exists because that‘s exactly what they want in a female character. To only exist in relation to a man, to be exactly what he needs, to have herself chosen by him whenever he‘s ready, to be her attractive, low-maintenance, funny and smart but not as important as him and, again, white self.

I don‘t hate these character‘s existence in this show or anything and I actually am really happy with how season 4 went, so this is not a dig at the writers, but I do think when so many of these fans think this way, there’s a connection to be made.

I also really do not want to bring up shipping because that‘s an equally controversial topic to these people (again, have I mentioned how much I hate being on male-dominated subreddits), but it‘s so funny to me how the same people who hated the idea of Sydcarmy and kept going on and on about how „this show isn‘t about romantic relationships!!! All the relationships are strictly platonic and anyone who says otherwise is a stupid girl and should go watch Bridgerton or something!!!“ started salivating the moment Claire and Jess showed up and are now doing the very shipping they complained about. „I hope she comes back🥺🥺🥺 I like her so much! I want to see more of them together, I really hope they end up together!“

Now imagine their reaction if people made posts like that about Syd and either of the other main main characters on Reddit. I get not wanting any of the three together in that way because it’s a recipe (no pun intended) for disaster or because you just don‘t see their relationships that way, that‘s fine, but it is so telling to me how mad they got at the idea of any possible romantic interpretation of the relationships between Syd and either Carm or Richie compared to the love interests they want for them. Again, this is not about the ships themselves, anybody can ship whatever they want, but about the ideals they seem to have of „worthy“ female characters.

I‘m not saying Syd is without fault or that there aren‘t reasons to dislike her, but to me, she comes from a long, long line of irrationally hated female characters whose biggest fault is being realistic.

I love how her character is written because, to me, it is absolutely understandable how hard of a time she‘s having knowing what to do in the last two seasons with what we know about Sheridan Road and again, just like so many of the characters, she has a lot to work through. Her anger at Carm, even if he‘s gotten better and I get his decision at the end, is also absolutely justified because he did leave her hanging for two seasons atp. And even with her more controversial behavior, she does so much right, she‘s a much better colleague and friend to the others than Carmy most of the time and she is, as he‘s said, a great leader and teacher, she uplifted so many pf the people at The Bear and came in with a lot of the exact right ideas.

Maybe that‘s why the post I saw about how Jess being the ‚true leader‘ of the last season set me off like that, because we see Syd work so hard to be exactly what she needs to be, we get to know and understand her so much, and still, all of that is disregarded by these people in favor of a character who really is barely even that because that‘s what these people really want.

[baldursghaik]

Junus I was talking about this on discord with a friend.

In one of your tags you mentioned you align The Emperor as "evil". And although I disagree based purely on personal interpretation and being a soft-hearted wimp, plz write me an unhinged ramble on your thoughts and opinions UwU 💖

(also I'm slowly trying to give ALWF proper attention I'm just very slow because everything happens so much but I really like it so far. Your prose is very good which is always an awesome bonus with a fic)

You know, I thought of several ways I wanted to tackle this question. I thought about writing a more “tumblr acceptable” answer, but honestly, you asked me to give it to you unhinged, so here it is. Before I get into it, genuinely thank you for this question. I value the ability to disagree politely, and I really do love to see a wide variety of takes and opinions, as I consider them vital to the fandom ecosystem.

With all of that said, these are merely my opinions and interpretations, and I do not think that I am objectively “correct” in any way. I genuinely enjoy softer and kinder reads of the Emperor, but this is my own take on its morality.

Full response below the cut. This is going to lean dark, so read on carefully.

I have a lot of potential responses to this, but I’m going to cut to the most obvious part first: Belynne Stelmane. Specifically, the scene where the Emperor reveals the true nature of their “partnership.” This is old and well-trodden ground where most Emperor fans are concerned, but what I don’t ever see people talk about are the sexual undertones of this scene, where both the PC and Stelmane are concerned.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this truth only triggers when the Emperor is propositioning the PC for sex. Similarly, I think it was an intentional design choice to introduce Stelmane laying in bed, gasping and groaning as the Emperor is taking control of her. Even the framing of the scene positions the Emperor above her, in a position of indisputable power and dominance.

In the following scene, you see the two working at the Shield headquarters (not unusual, though certainly more sinister than it had originally shown), but much more telling is the scene that follows. The Emperor wasn’t content just operating the Shield together—it also forced her to sit and drink with it, to be social with it, in a gruesome parody of camaraderie and companionship. There is no work related explanation for that scene, and you catch a glimpse of the same scene even in the Emperor’s original telling of its life story at the end of Act II. In that same Act II dialogue, that’s the specific part where it tells the PC that it was “happy”.

Following the scene, the game cuts back to the Emperor, now standing shirtless over the PC, not dissimilar to how it was framed with Belynne Stelmane. The Emperor is absolutely mean spirited in what it says next: “Did you like it - the truth? This was the alternative relationship we could have had. Aren’t you glad I finessed my methods?”

We all know what comes next. It tells the PC that they are its puppet, and that, without the Emperor, they have no value.

Now I’ve heard a lot of counter arguments to this scene, ranging from “you were an asshole to it by rejecting it so cruelly” to “it didn’t actually mean that, it had to protect itself”. Which is fine, as I stated above, my interpretations are my own. But to me, neither of those defenses hold water. I think “you shouldn’t have pissed it off” isn’t exactly the defense Emperor fans want it to be, because that paints the Emperor in an even worse light! I think a person should be able to reject someone (or some squid, as it were) as callously as they like, and the worst they should receive in return is “fine, fuck you too”. Not a fully raw display of the Emperor abusing someone else, and then overtly threatening to do the same to the PC if they don’t fall in line.

“If I must, I will force you.”

Call me a bleeding heart, but I don’t think that’s a good thing that good people say!

I was a full on Emperor defender right up until I saw this scene after my first playthrough. And honestly? I found it pretty difficult to stomach watching. This was such a dramatically different face from everything I’d seen on my first run. When you’re polite and deferential to the Emperor, it’s never anything less than sweet and kind. It will even tolerate a fair amount of insults and abuse before it cracks—but once it does crack, that mask comes all the way off.

On my second run, I really paid attention to the Emperor’s words and actions, and it was like playing a completely different game. A good example of this is what the Emperor does after your meeting with Raphael in Sharess’ Caress. On my first run (and second run, that replicated the first), I hadn’t bothered to hear out Raphael’s offer. I trusted the Emperor, and this damn devil wasn’t going to convince me otherwise. But the Emperor’s reaction to this is extremely telling—it will pry into to the PC’s memories and read their mind to figure out what happened. If you didn’t hear out Raphael, you don’t even have the option to try to stop its intrusion, it just does it. I hadn’t thought to question this at all on my first run, but on my second, I could see how insidious this scene truly was. Especially in light of the alternative dialogue that happens if you did hear Raphael out: the PC has the option to tell the Emperor that if it trust them, it will stop this. And the Emperor doesn't even immediately relent, you have to pass a skill check to prevent it from forcing your mind wide open. And even if you do pass it, the Emperor is very up front about the fact that it's done this begrudgingly.

Either way this plays out, I think it's one of the Emperor’s darkest moments in the game, because you catch a stark glimpse of the nature it hides from the PC, just for one moment. This is blatantly abusive and two-faced behavior. It’s manipulative, and will even tell you as much when pressed at the end of the game, before Orpheus is either consumed or freed.

And all of that doesn’t even get into my belief that Balduran was awful too. He extorted and enslaved people, all in his pursuit of money. The Emperor would continue this trend into its new life as well—the Shield is a fundamentally evil organization, built on preying on others to amass wealth, and further contribute to the enormous economic disparity of the Gate. The Emperor (and Stelmane by extension, because she is certainly no saint either) was not turning and giving this money to the poor. They were functionally robber barons of the Sword Coast, happy to exploit and plunder their way to riches untold.

So now we come to the heart of your question—does this paint the Emperor as evil? In my eyes it does. I would consider these to be unforgivable crimes… in real life. Thankfully, the Emperor is fictional, so to me this makes it an utterly fascinating and well rounded character. Yes, it’s capable of evil, but it’s also capable of so much good. This is where I feel that people come to blows over the Emperor. They want it to be either saint or demon, and in reality, I think it’s no different from characters like Astarion, Lae’zel, or even Shadowheart. It’s a complex and layered character, and it has evil under its belt, but that doesn’t mean that it lacks all virtue. I think the Emperor is considerate, attentive, and sincerely caring of both the city the PC, assuming they treat it decently. It’s a fantastically well written character that contains multitudes, and its divisiveness only speaks to how brilliantly Larian handled it.

So, to anyone who bothered reading this, I hope that shed some light on why I believe the Emperor is evil, but a very layered and dimensional evil. I don't think it does anything for the sake of being EVULZ, it's not harmful for the sake of fun, but it's utterly Machiavellian in the way it operates, and it isn't afraid to manipulate or abuse people to achieve its goals, which I think is fundamentally opposite of being "good".

[rosenclaws]

9 and 42

hi anon!!

9. When is your birthday?

October 20th so 8 days after Hugh's!!

(fun fact theres a chance it's actually the 18th or the 19th lol)

42. Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Oo okay so this got really fucking long so uhhhhh

@princessanglophile !! I love Lex so much we have so much in common and her writing is amazing. I love talking to her about Hugh and Disney and anything else!! Amazing person fr

@lostinlovingrevery Van omfg van might be the most talented bitch I've ever seen on this website fr. She can writing Logan in such a perfect way it's insane. She's also incredibly down bad and I love reading all her stuff and talking to her she's so fucking cool fr.

@lubdubology Lub! We don't talk superrr often but I love lub sm!! She's so cool and fun to talk to and a really talented writer. She also gets to meet Hugh soon again and I'm so excited for her lol.

@unlikeable-female-character Always feeding the best Hugh content fr. Also seems like such a nice and very intelligent person lol. I enjoy people who can have a real conversation without jumping to insane conclusions. Plus they always keep me updated on what my fav dilf is doing sooo

@lareinedulune We don't talk a lot but I really really appreciate the support you give me and your writing is amazing and you're so kind and nice I'm really happy that we found each other on here and I hope we can talk more!!

I def have more than 5 blogs that I love and I can't mention everyone but imma cheat and tag more people lol

@a-5-m-0-d-3-u-5 We don't talk a lot but I love it when we do!! You're support means the world to me <3

@tezooks Sagi!! I love talking to u so much and you seem like such a genuine and real person and you're so cool and ily!

@damimami1994 amazingly sweet and kind and seems like such a fun person!!

@mcrdvcks is so insanely talented omfg. Incredible writer and awesome person

@pandapetals Ik you aren't really in the Logan fandom anymore but I think you're writing is amazing and I hope you're doing well!!

@themareverine same thing!! Very talented and fun fr

@sleepywolverine So so nice and wonderful and I love talking about logan with you <33

@xplot-buni we don't talk much but I love seeing u in my activity and loved talking to u about ur mermaid oc!

@ashley-slashley you're not into logan really much either but i still love seeing ur wild ass posts on my dash lmao. Plus I love indy too soooo.

@benispunk ben!! I hope ur doing well and ily and can I just say you have my favorite Worst Logan series on this website. I loveee your New Girl AU fic so much

@nickisgirl So sweet and supportive!! I love seeing you in my inbox sm <33

oh and to all the people who support me ily all too!! The lurkers or the ppl who I see on my dash or in my notes and we just don't talk much Ily too <33 @lovexbunny @heartthrobcinema @evesdust @squishyfruitloop @nourlh @the-quick-red-fox @rambosgirl @freythecrazyfae @trr3rr @sir-thisisadndserver @just-dreaming-marvel @fluff-lover @sidkneeeee @oracleviolet93 @aqua-owo @fluffyhowlett @ayamenimthiriel !!

I have a really shit memory and was just going back in my reblogs and replies so if I forgot anyone I AM SO SORRYYYY feel free to come beat my ass about it lmao

Also sorry for the insane tag spam and I hope I didn't annoy anyone dfsalk;j I just want you all to know that I appreciate you so much and ty for sticking around my dumbass blog for so long (also some of the tags weren't working alkj;sadf mbmb)

[five-bi-five-mind]

Could I please have an imagine where the reader hooks up with Maya Bishop one night. The next morning she starts her new job at station 19 and realizes Maya is her captain. Maya tells her nothing can happen between them again, but the intense chemistry between them is apparent. So after a few months Maya realizes she wants to be with her. They get together and around 6 months later the reader is hurt on the job and has to have surgery. The whole team is worried but Maya is extremely freaked out that she may never get to tell the reader she loves her. Andy (the only person who knows about the relationship) tries to calm her down but Maya ends up revealing the relationship to the others. Then later on both Maya and the reader admit that they are in love with each other. Fluffy and angsty please?

Mistakes Were Made

Fandom: Station 19

Pairing: Maya Bishop x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, a lil Fluff

Word Count: 11.5k+

Summary: Maya got in these moods. Ones that told her to make bad choices with random strangers, only one night she did so, not knowing the person she chose would be part of the station just two days later. Now, she did all she could to avoid you and deny that the two of you spent what was possibly the best night of sex she'd ever had. Only, things always boil over, and Maya has always had a hard time when it came to dealing with things in a healthy, rational manner.

Warnings: Alcohol mention; Top!Maya, Bottom!R, fingering, oral, light spanking play, rough sex, marking, toxic!Maya, possessive sex, lemme know if I need to add more...

A/N: So, I have a handful of fics that are like this long or longer... I just decided it was time to actually finish and post one. Hope y'all enjoy lol also my obsession with Maya Bishop is in fact back

(Gif not mine; credit to captainsavre)

Maya was never one to make the best choices. But then again, despite her messy decisions, she managed to snag the position of captain of Station 19, so she guessed they couldn’t be all bad. At least, that’s how she justified her actions. Right now, she was making a particularly bad decision, one that she didn’t even know at the time how bad it actually was. 

The thing is, Maya couldn’t help it. She said that to herself a couple times in the past, especially on nights like these. Where she's had a couple of drinks and was already looking to make a bad choice. Tonight though, she was feeling particularly reckless and wanted to bump into someone who was looking to make the same bad decisions with her. And that’s where you came in.

Only, you weren’t quite what she was looking for. Maya avoided types like you, she could see from the second you walked into the bar that you weren’t the messy type. The smile you gave the bartender as you anxiously ordered your drink–a fruity, frilly drink that Maya would never get herself—told her all she needed to know about you. She should’ve just turned her attention elsewhere the minute she sized you up and moved on to find her partner in crime, but for some reason she didn’t. You clearly did not seem like the one night stand type. In fact, it would be a miracle to get you to agree to just about anything at all from the looks of you. Maya just did not clock you to be the type of girl for her to pick up at a sleazy bar. But maybe that’s what made her so intrigued. 

She just wanted to spend the night with someone, let loose, take control of another person in a way that would get out her frustrations without any consequences at all. Maya had been lucky here and there picking up people who wanted to give up their control to her, if only for just one night, and she wasn’t about to let that lucky streak die. Usually it was pretty easy, a flash of her smile, a flex of her muscle and people would swoon. Once the night was over she would leave and that was that. Maya told herself that’s exactly what she needed to keep her cool as captain, even if it wasn’t the most healthy. So she really should’ve been looking for the type she always goes for to get exactly what she was seeking. But as you sat at the corner of the bar, sipping on your fancy drink, Maya couldn’t take her eyes off you.

You checked off one of her boxes at least, Maya thought. It definitely seemed like you were new in town. Maya never picked up regulars of the bar, too terrified that these one night stands would get even messier. The times that happened she had to switch bars and she really liked this one. 

Maya kept debating with herself, going back and forth on whether she really should pursue a night with you. She could already see the work she would have to put in to get you to go home with her tonight and she had a feeling a girl like you wouldn’t be the most pleased that she would just ghost you the next day. But then there were other women looking your way and Maya realized she wasn’t the only one contemplating taking you home tonight. When she watched one particularly confident woman start to inch closer to your corner of the bar, that was all it took for Maya’s mind to finally be made up for good. She loved competition and she loved coming up the victor, she had to have you. 

“First time?” 

The voice made you jump. You were so focused on your drink that you didn’t realize a particularly attractive blonde had slid up next to you. “I’m sorry?” Your head snapped up so you could finally acknowledge the person right next to you. 

She gave you a toothy grin and leaned back against the wall of the back of the bar. “Here, I mean.”

“Oh!” You were so glad the bar was dark, because you were already blushing profusely and this woman had only said two sentences to you. “Yeah, I heard about this place from some folks and decided maybe it was worth a try.” 

“And those folks didn’t want to join you?” Wasn’t Maya’s smoothest way of asking if you were alone, but she was still trying to figure you out. Her best guess is that you’re totally new to Seattle and heard about this gay bar from a few excited tourists. If Maya was lucky maybe you really were a tourist as well and in her experience, people just visiting tend to be the people who are looking for the same thing she is. 

“No,” you chuckled nervously. “I’m here by myself.” 

“Care for company?” Maya gave you the most dazzling smile she could conjure and she could tell it worked. You hesitated for a moment, looking her up and down before you gave her a shy smile and nodded. 

Usually, you see right through these types of people. The ones who only want one thing from you, but there was something about this woman that drew you in. She was charming and smooth. You had clocked a few of the other women who had been eying you from across the bar, but you completely missed the way she had stealthed her way over into your space. You weren’t one to even be picked up at bars, usually it tended to give you the ick, but you were new in town and it didn’t hurt to have some friendly conversation.

When she introduced herself she flashed that bright smile again. And again, there was just something about it that made your heart jump. You gave her your name and was pleasantly surprised when conversation came easily. At some point you two moved to the bar counter so you could sit and after a couple of drinks for the both of you, you realized her bar chair was growing closer and closer to yours. And then after a couple more drinks you suddenly became aware of the warm hand resting on your thigh. But to your surprise, instead of pulling back, your hand just rested under the counter on top of her own. 

You really weren’t this type of girl, you weren’t. You didn’t like the idea of getting picked up at bars, you didn’t think this would be the story you tell your friends–even if you didn’t have any here yet–about how you had a “meet cute” but here you were. And honestly, her presence was quite refreshing. She was making you laugh and smile, something that you weren’t doing too often the past few days. 

This whole move had been so stressful, it was your first time away from your family and it was to follow a job halfway across the country. The anxiety of it all was really getting to you tonight as you neared the start date to this new job. That’s how you found yourself here, you thought maybe grabbing a drink, making connections, or at the very least seeing part of the community would take your mind off things. You also forgot how you kind of hated bars. But then Maya was making it bearable– Better than that, she was making it fun. The two of you talked about random things, all the while she was quite charming. You knew she was also actively hitting on you, you weren’t that oblivious, but the way she was doing it just kept drawing you in.

She asked you about your likes and dislikes and seemed incredibly interested in you as a person, that’s what made this feel a little different than a casual bar pick up. You did an excellent job at avoiding talking about why you moved here other than “you needed a change of scenery.” If you started talking about your job it would lead into talking about your parents and the decisions you made to start at a random fire station thousands of miles away. That was going to kill this easy going vibe you had with Maya right now. And whether it was her or the alcohol, you just wanted to keep experiencing more of the feelings she was bringing out in you.

For her part, Maya was trying her best to be the most enchanting she could be and she knew it was working. She could feel the eyes of the other woman who had eyed you in your cute little cropped top and your tight black jeans, now giving her the death glare. Could she blame them though? You looked incredibly attractive and also incredibly too innocent for your own good. It’s why she had to have you and it’s probably why everyone else noticed you too.

As the hours ticked by, Maya knew it was now or never. She would’ve honestly liked to take you home a while ago, but she knew it wasn’t that easy. If she were being honest with herself, she was also enjoying the conversation and surprised by how much she loved seeing you get flustered or excited about a topic. But still, getting charmed wasn’t why Maya was here, that was her role tonight, not yours. She may be intrigued by you, but that’s all it was surely. Maya wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend, just a good time and she was determined to have that good time with you. She just needed to get you home, have some fun with you, and get this intrigue out of her system. 

—-------------------------------------------------

Both of you were a little surprised by how readily you agreed to let Maya take you home. You had never said yes to something like this ever. Maya had her doubts on whether or not her charm really was working, but when your hand slid into hers as you both exited the bar, she couldn’t wipe the smug smile off her face. As she pulled you to the exit she felt like she was parading around her prize, making sure to make eye contact with some of the people who had eyed you at the beginning of the night. 

It was when you had her hands tangled in her hair and her lips locked to your neck that she really felt victorious. Conversation had naturally died the moment you entered her apartment and she pulled you in for a daring kiss. Now the two of you were pressed together in her bedroom and you were currently melting into her.

Kissing you felt different, Maya realized, but she quickly shoved that thought down when she heard your silent whimper as her teeth sunk into delicate skin. You were definitely the right choice, Maya thought as she practically shoved you onto her mattress. The way you looked up at her, with an innocence Maya was surprised to find and entirely too eager to ruin. She knew you would give her the control she was craving, even if you weren’t her usual target for nights like these. 

A lot of tonight was surprising for the both of you, but what really shook Maya was the way she would slow down to take all of you in. Usually, when Maya had nights like these with random strangers, it was all about the physical aspect. She would lose herself in how it felt to make someone fall apart underneath her, but with you she found herself to be way more present. At one point, when she heard you cry out as her fingers pumped themselves inside you, she pulled back to watch your face as you fell apart under her. She reveled in the way you sounded and took in every single ragged breath and desperate moan. Her nights usually didn’t go more than a round or two, but with you she kept wanting more and taking exactly what she kept craving. 

Your nails left marks down her back and her lips left bruises littered all over your chest. You panted and cried out for her again and again as her fingers kept working you up and over the edge. Both of you had lost track of the time when Maya had decided to take a break from filling you with her fingers only to bury her tongue between your legs. The way your hands flew to her hair and tugged as you let out pathetic, exhausted whimpers. She had really pushed you to the brink, and she was loving it. 

Her eyes stayed locked on your face as she practically devoured you and all you could do was shake on her bed and fall apart yet again. Maya lost count of how often she did that to you, but she decided if she was going to stick with her one night rule, she was going to make the most of it with you. 

Eventually she knew you couldn’t handle more. This was usually around the point when she would casually kick out the stranger and, more often than not, the other party would easily agree. Except when she crawled back up your naked body to see your head lulled back and your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath from the orgasm she ripped from you, Maya didn’t think about asking you to leave. Instead, she pulled you into her arms, her hands brushing stray hairs from your face before she leaned back down to capture your lips. 

Maya told herself it wasn’t safe to send you back to wherever you were staying in an uber. She made a mess out of you and it was at least her responsibility to tend to that. In the morning she could make sure the two of you parted ways for good. For now, Maya decided she would indulge in having someone else next to her as she slept. It had been so long since she let anyone stay over, and even if you were a stranger, the feeling felt nice to her. A little too nice, but Maya wasn’t going to acknowledge that. 

—---------------------------

When the morning came Maya didn’t even have to kick you out. You had taken your leave while she was still asleep. She was so exhausted from all the activities of the night before that she slept like a rock, which surprised her considering she was sleeping next to a total stranger. Maya couldn’t believe how easy it was to fall asleep with you in her arms when she barely knew a thing about you. Yet, she honestly had the best night of sleep in her entire life. And a great night’s rest wasn’t the only thing you gave her either… Maya couldn’t help the smug smile that played on her lips as she replayed the way she had you falling apart around her fingers. One night with you just wasn’t enough. She almost wanted to call you for a repeat. Almost. But Maya didn’t do repeats and she wasn’t about to break that rule now.

The note you left on her nightstand with your number and an explanation of why you had to run out so early was charming, but Maya crumpled it up and threw it away regardless. It was too tempting to keep around. The sounds you made the night before kept playing in Maya’s head and it was entirely too much of an enticing idea for her to save your number and send you a quick text instructing you to come back over tonight. 

Your note had simply said you couldn’t miss a meeting and encouraged her to text her soon for a proper dinner date. It almost made Maya feel bad she wasn’t doing the whole dating thing right now, but she was captain now and she had to get serious. There was no room in her life for anything messy. And, with her track record, every time she had a relationship it was messy. So maybe her eyes lingered on the crumpled paper in her trash can for a moment, but as she began to get ready for the day and head to the station, the memories of the past night faded and she became focused on the day ahead. With the steam she blew off last night she knew that today would be easy to get through.

—-------------------------------

And she was shocked at how right she was. She was giving directions and her team was following them without too many eye rolls or talk back. The confidence of the night before was keeping Maya’s chin up and her resolve to be 19’s best captain strong. Every once in a while, though, when she was sitting at her desk and alone her mind would wander. There would be flashes of the night before replaying in her head. The way you tasted, the way you would sound, how you felt when she had you writhing underneath her. She kept having to shake herself from that thought. 

Each time her mind drifted, she would remind herself this craving to have you again would fade as the memory of you did. It wasn’t like she was ever going to see you again, she could easily forget the feelings you caused in her after just a few days. Maybe she would find someone new next week to blow off some steam with. Although, for some reason the thought of that made her stomach twist. She knew it would have to be a little while before she could pick someone up again. Everyone else would just be a disappointment. Maya’s craving for you felt so strong after this one night that she already decided to take a break from that bar, just in case she were to run into you again. She knew she would do whatever it took to convince you to come home with her again if that were the case. 

As her shift came to a close she kept thinking about the crumpled paper with your number on it left in her trash can. When she finally was done and heading home, with each step she took closer to her apartment she was more and more tempted to save it from the trash and send you a text. She had such a good day at the station today, if she had you again maybe that would happen for a second day in a row. 

But as she reached her apartment and saw the wrinkled paper at the top of her trash bin she used all of her will power to take the trash out to her apartment dumpster. With a heavy sigh she tossed it for good. That night as she threw her body down on the bed, she felt frustrated with herself for two reasons. The first being that she hated that she was so stuck on this one encounter with you and the second being that she had enough sense to throw away that damn note of yours. 

Sleep did not come easily to her that night. She tossed and turned and before she knew it her alarm was going off and it was time to go back to the station. 

—-----------------------------------------------------

If Maya was right about yesterday being a good day, she was worried she would be right about today being an awful one. So far, that was seeming more and more like it was the case. She had sprung on her that there would be a new member to the team; an out of state transfer. The team was already at each other’s throats today as it was, they didn’t need a new member throwing off their balance. Any time there was a new addition it was always an adjustment period that got messy. Maya couldn’t help the groan of frustration she let out as she hung up the phone. She only had two hours to prepare for the new person and she wasn’t in the mood.

The rest of the station all felt exactly the same as there was a collective groan much like Maya’s earlier that sounded throughout the room. Maya tried her best to play serious captain, lecturing them about being welcoming and working together before the new arrival was to come. They still seemed reluctant to follow her command. 

After that all she could do was wait until she finally heard a knock on her office door. She took a couple deep breaths, muttering to herself a here we go before trying to plaster on her best “Captain Maya Bishop Smile” and standing to get the door. What she didn’t expect was the face waiting on the other side. Her smile immediately dropped as she took in who stood in front of her and, on top of that, her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. She definitely knew she looked embarrassingly shocked at this moment, but so did the eyes staring back at her.

Right in front of her was the person that had been on her mind all day. Maya was in utter shock, but to her surprise it seemed like you were too. Your jaw was practically on the floor as you took in who stood in front of you. You had folders in your hand and the uniform you had on told her all she needed to know to realize you were the out-of-state transfer. 

The way both of you froze, Maya’s hand still gripping the doorknob as she stood right in the way of either of you being able to step in probably also looked quite odd. In that moment Maya forgot all about being picture-perfect Captain Bishop and was just utterly confused at what sort of divine twist in fate was playing out before her eyes. It was like a dumpster fire and a trainwreck all at once in Maya’s mind and she couldn’t fathom how to handle this new development. 

Just moments ago she was fighting the internal debate she was having about going back to the bar she found you in and desperately scoping it out until she saw your face again. She had successfully talked herself out of it about a minute before you knocked on the door and now it was like the universe was playing a sick joke on her. Taunting her with the thing that has been plaguing her mind for over 24 hours. 

“Cap… Captain Maya Bishop,” Maya internally kicked herself as she tried to recover. Her hand leaving the door knob and extending towards you finally. In a split second, Maya had decided to play this off as a first meeting. It wasn’t her proudest moment, but she could see around the corner the odd way Andy was looking at the interaction between the two of you. 

You looked down at her hand and then slowly back at her, confusion in your eyes. Of course, you knew her name. She gave you her name before she took you home from the bar that night, but slowly you were realizing the terrible truth. That Maya didn’t want you to acknowledge that you knew her at all. She watched with a gnawing guilt that settled in her stomach as your eyes flashed with hurt for a brief second before taking her hand and re-introducing yourself to her as if she hadn’t been seductively whispering your name into your ear while telling you all about how good you were for her just a few nights prior. 

“Step into my office,” Maya said after uncomfortably clearing her throat once she dropped your hand from the awkward handshake you’d reluctantly complied to. “I’ll get you caught up.”

She walked slowly to the other side of the desk, having closed the door and locking it stealthily once you had stepped in as well. She didn’t need anyone interrupting, especially if details about the other night come up in this conversation.

However, she hoped you’d be normal about this. That you would take the hint that Maya was unwilling to acknowledge the history you two now shared. This meeting would be uncomfortable, she knew that, but she was going to do everything in her power to dodge the uncomfortable conversation she had done so well to avoid with all her one night stands up until this point. Especially now, when you were to be the new transfer and she was the captain, a relationship with someone she was meant to guide, to lead without trouble. And this—you appearing again out of nowhere—would not look good for her career. 

She guided the conversation as much as possible. Sticking to the paperwork that you needed to have completed and what you needed to know before officially joining the station. You were incredibly silent other than when you had to respond to her. The bubbliness that was so present in your demeanor that night she found you in the bar was utterly gone now. Instead, you just seemed like a dark cloud across the desk from her. She knew that you were fully aware at this point of her usual game: That Maya had no intention of calling you back after that night and that she wasn’t going to acknowledge in the slightest that the two of you had shared amazing chemistry, and the most amazing sex Maya had ever had to date. But no, Maya couldn’t dwell on that part. 

“Welcome to the station,” Maya finally said, standing from her desk to shake your hand again. You looked at her hand for a moment before taking it in a weak grasp. All had been said and done, and now all that was left was for you to start getting used to the team. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled, dropping your hand from hers as if it burned. Without looking Maya in the eye, you finally stood and turned towards the door. Except, the look on your face, the one that made Maya feel as if she had kicked a puppy, was nagging at her.

But Maya was never one to handle these things well.

“Oh and (Y/N),” Maya’s voice stopped you right as your hand began to reach for her door. “I think it goes without saying, but please don’t bring up the other night.” 

Maya watched as your body stiffened and she didn’t have to see your eyes to see that that blow was probably the last one she needed to make to get you to realize it was a one night thing. She was sure it had occurred to you already, but she needed to make sure she hammered the last nail in the coffin.

“It never happened, right?” Your voice was low, and Maya could hear the irritation in it. But, in her own selfishness, she was just relieved to hear those words.

“Correct,” she nodded as she leaned back in her office chair and watched you exit. You shut the door a bit harder than an average person would, but Maya figured she at least deserved that response for how big of an ass she was being to her new transfer. 

————————————————————

Despite the initial awkwardness, things with you on the team were going quite well. You found your place after only a couple weeks, making fast friends with both Vic and Andy. And there was no mention or reveal of the history you had shared with Maya. However, that didn’t stop your presence from driving Maya absolutely crazy.

She was relieved that you hadn’t brought up the night the two of you had shared four months ago right before you started, but she was also being driven crazy by the memories of it. That coupled with the fact that you were in such close proximity had made things even worse. When you were around, Maya was on edge. It wasn’t even about whether or not you would reveal the shared secret anymore. It was just that she couldn’t figure out how to be around you.

After about a month or so, Maya decided to try to go to bars and pick up other people to blow off steam, but that didn’t work. She didn’t even get very far, she just found that she wasn’t into it. There was a voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that whatever she was going to do, wouldn’t be the thing she really wanted–the type of night she craved. After trying and failing a couple times to pick up people, she finally gave up and entered a dry spell that put her on edge so badly it was affecting her whole team’s attitude. And all she could do was blame you. After all, wasn’t it your fault for not mentioning that you were transferring to work for her? 

Logically, Maya knew you couldn’t have possibly known, but she wasn’t feeling very logical anytime you were around. Especially in the moments where it was just you and her in close spaces. Maya tried very hard to avoid those moments, but sometimes she wasn’t so lucky. She would find that when she went to work out in the station’s gym, she had the worst timing because it almost always was when you were already in there working out alone.

Instead of focusing on training, she would pick a spot behind you and–with a lot of shame and self loathing on her part–stare at your ass as you jogged on the treadmill. In the evenings that you two were both at the station, she would watch as you ate, mesmerized by the way you would lick your lips here and there. Wishing to reach over and clean your lips of crumbs. It was a struggle any time she was near you to just snap out of it. So Maya began planning a bit more strategically to avoid your presence, especially when there were fewer in the station at certain hours. But even then, there were moments when you were near that drove her wild and no amount of planning to avoid you could save her from the frustration that came with your presence as part of her team.

“So, you’ve been here awhile now?” Vic began idle chit chat as the three of you rode in the back of the truck back from a routine call. 

“Yep, a few months,” you answered absentmindedly as you stared out the window. Maya knew you were looking so intently out the window to avoid looking anywhere near her.

“Plenty of time to explore, see the sights, maybe go on some dates..?”

You just snorted at that and shook your head. 

“What? No dates?” Vic turned to you excitedly and Maya felt as if she was watching a trainwreck happen right in front of her. “We have to get you out there! Seriously, since you got here I swear all I’ve seen you do is work and occasionally go out with us. But only if we beg you. Let me set you up!”

“I don’t know…” 

“Come on, I can find you a good guy.”

“Mm…” you gave her a hesitant look that told Vic all she needed to know.

“Girl?” 

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “I mean– well no, I don’t want to be set up. But if I did, I’m uh…” your eyes glanced briefly at Maya before immediately looking back to the window “I’m into girls.”

“No, no, no,” Vic was leaning towards you with ever growing excitement and Maya felt her stomach twist as she listened to this conversation unfold with growing dread. “This is perfect! I have the perfect person for you.” 

“Vic, I don’t know…”

“Trust me!” The truck was slowing to a stop finally as it pulled into the station, but Maya couldn’t let herself stop listening to what was happening between you and Vic. With each passing moment the dread changed into inexplicable anger. 

“Listen,” Vic continued as you both hopped out and she fell into step next to you. “I have this friend–painfully single. Cute, kind, all of that. I promise she would love to go on a date with you. What do you say?”

“Vic…” your voice was a warning and Maya kicked herself for feeling so much joy over how you kept trying to shut Vic down.

Except, that feeling of triumph at watching you refuse was short lived. Vic’s persuasiveness won out in the end, to Maya’s begrudged horror.

“Oh, come on. Worst case scenario, you made a friend, right?” Vic knew all the right words to say to you apparently.

“I guess so,” you sighed and finally nodded and in a flash, Maya watched as Vic flung one arm around you and pulled out her phone with the other. 

Maya didn’t follow much more of the conversation after that. She saw red the moment she heard the distant words come from Vic’s mouth. Something about giving your phone number to her friend and Vic nagging about making sure the date was sooner rather than later. Maya didn’t want to hear any more of it. 

The rest of the evening Maya was in the worst possible mood. 

—----------------------------------------------------------

The bad mood Maya was in actually lasted the whole rest of the week. Maya knew you had a date scheduled for Friday night and when that day came and went, Maya couldn’t relax. Her whole body was filled with a pure rage she was trying too hard to deny, but simply could not. You weren’t there Friday at all, which was planned as it was your day off. But it drove her even more crazy. And the fact that you also had the weekend off made things worse.

Maya couldn’t help but imagine the worst case scenario. That your date went amazing and she was doing all those things to you that Maya knew you liked. The things that she found out first, she thought with a twisted sort of smug pride as she stewed in her office for hours that Saturday morning. 

Vic was in for most of the day that day, and she unfortunately had heard Vic telling people she thought the date went well. What made everything much worse was the way Vic had joked that she was already planning the wedding. 

Maya gripped her coffee cup so tight that she thought she might crack it. But unluckily for her Andy had noticed and slyly took the cup from her hands.

Andy didn’t know about the night that the two of you shared, but Maya had a paranoid feeling that she may have started to piece things together. Here and there she had commented on the awkward, charged tension between the two of you. When Maya shrugged it off, Andy had responded with “I’ll let it go for now, but I want the details later.”

That’s when Maya made damn sure that later wouldn’t come for a while. 

At this point, to keep her secret about the two of you, it felt like she was avoiding her entire team. Which was not a good look for a captain. But Maya didn’t think sleeping with the new transfer before her first day and then ghosting her was a good look either. So, she picked the lesser of two evils.

Still, as Maya continued to hear gossip about your date that day in passing from Vic, her anger grew. Eventually, as the evening stretched on into the later hours of the night, everyone who was in the station knew to avoid Maya all together. 

So when Maya had her guard down, not expecting to see the number one person she was avoiding, she was in for a rude awakening. All she wanted was a damn shower, away from Vic’s excited daydreaming about you and her friend that she constantly shared with anyone who’d listen. Of course, you just had to be there when no one was expecting you. 

This was the one place that Maya was extremely careful not to run into you. Yes, she ogled you a bit when you were near and she was trying to quit that bad habit with careful planning. But to run into you in the locker room or the showers when it was just the two of you… Maya knew that would be detrimental. 

So, when she rounded the corner of the showers, thinking she was the only living soul in there only to run right into you?  That’s when her biggest nightmare came true.

There you were, in nothing but a towel clutched to your chest while Maya stood before you, clothed in workout gear from a late night session to get the very person in front of her out of her mind. Why were you even here, she wondered. Was it simply to torment her even more?

“What are you doing here?” Maya didn’t even mean to say that outloud.

“O-oh, uh… My complex’s water is out and I really needed a shower…” Your eyes were filled with just as much shock as Maya felt and she couldn’t help the way hers glanced down as your hand tightened on the towel around you.

Her eyes may have lingered a bit too long on your chest, but then the words you said sunk in and while they may have sounded completely innocent to anyone else, Maya heard them differently. But could anyone blame her? When she was hearing all about the wonderful date you had with a mystery woman all day long, how could Maya’s mind not go to somewhere she was very much trying to avoid?

“That busy with your date, huh?” Maya’s words seemed innocent, but her tone was filled with venom. 

“No,” you took a step back as if her tone physically wounded you. “I just needed a shower. Actually– It’s not even any of your business.”

“Of course not,” Maya snapped back, “Why would I care what you do?”

You stared at her for a moment in disbelief. How did taking a shower at the station turn into a strange argument with your captain? And over a first date that, despite what you told Vic, would probably not turn into a second one.

“I don’t know, Maya.” Your tone was more exhausted than frustrated, but you couldn’t stop yourself from picking at a wound you had an inkling was there. After all, Maya had been particularly irritating all week. “But for some reason, I really think you do.” 

“Oh, please,” Maya scoffed, her arms crossing over her chest. “I just want to make sure what you’re doing doesn’t distract the others.”

“Distract the others or distract you?” You fired back quicker than Maya expected and she saw the pride in your eyes as you stared back at her. Your towel was still firmly gripped around your naked body, but Maya could see that you were standing your ground firmer than you had before. 

“Don’t be so full of yourself!” Maya was grasping at straws, but she’d be damned if she let you win. “It was just one night, get over it.”

“You’re telling me to get over it?” You let out a bitter laugh, but stepped forward all the same, challenging Maya with your actions. “You’re the one who told me to forget that night! Yet, you’re also the one who’s throwing the fit that I went on one date. You’re not allowed to be upset about this.”

“I’m not upset.” Maya took a step towards you, against her better judgement, as if standing her ground this way would prove her point. “Why would I be upset? It was just one night.” 

“Yeah, one forgettable night.” Your eyes narrowed as you nodded in stubborn agreement. 

“It didn’t mean anything to me.” Maya took another step into your space, her eyes flashing as she watched yours for a sign that she hurt you. Anything to make you feel the frustration and anger she was feeling.

“Me either,” you fired back as you stepped closer into her space too. 

“You could’ve been anyone else that night and it wouldn’t have mattered,” Maya hissed as she stood firm in your personal space. Both of you were breathing hard, the anger Maya was feeling was surely felt in you as well. “It was just meaningless sex.”

“You’re right,” you lean closer, your eyes daring, “just sex.”

“Just…” she took another, regrettable step forward, her eyes locked on your lips. “Life altering,” her breathing grew more rapid and so did yours, “earth shattering” with each word she watched as a faint blush spread through your cheeks “… sex.” 

You didn’t respond. Instead her hands knotted in your still damp hair painfully as she pulled your face the rest of the way to close the gap between the two of you and crashed her lips into yours. Her kiss was searing, but it was everything she craved for far too long. Immediately, her other arm went around your waist and she pressed your body into her own. She felt your hand tighten harder, desperate to keep the towel between the two of you, but in that moment she felt another spark of anger at the hesitation. How dare you keep from her the thing she’s been denying herself for months?

While her teeth tugged at your bottom lip and a groan slipped from your parted lips, her hand in your hair moved to the hand holding your towel. With little resistance she tugged your own hand away from where it held the towel and immediately it fell between the two of you and onto the floor. 

Both of you parted for a moment after that, a charged silence hung in the air and you breathed hard through your slightly opened mouth. Maya stared at you for just a second, her eyes locked with yours, your pupils blown and your face flushed, before looking down your body. Her mind flashed to the way she had looked at it with her marks littered over your chest months ago. She wanted to do it again. She was going to do it again. That thought resonated through her entire being and it was all it took for her to spring into action. 

With both her hands on your hips, she quickly guided you back into the showers, not caring that her clothes were damp from pressing into your still wet body. Her lips immediately attacked yours again, tongue sweeping into your mouth as soon as you allowed her access.

The way you whimpered when her tongue ran against yours already had her completely drunk off the way you reacted. Your back hit the cold, tile wall of one of the shower stalls and immediately Maya ripped herself from your lips to drop to her knees. 

She couldn’t tell what she wanted more, to taste you or to fill you, but her craving to claim you with her tongue won out so with one swift motion she had one of your legs over her shoulder and face was immediately buried into your pussy.

“Oh, my god,” you cried out when you felt her lips attach to your clit and begin to suck. One of your hands tangled itself into Maya’s hair while the other grasped at anything nearby to keep you up right. In this angle, Maya had perfect access to you. While her tongue was busy lapping at your clit, her hand moved up your thigh until it met right below where her tongue was. With another cry, you felt two of Maya’s fingers slip into you and immediately begin pumping in and out. 

This was all happening so fast it was making your head spin, but that might also have been because of the way Maya was utterly claiming you with her tongue and fingers. Either way, you didn’t know you needed this so badly until you felt the way her fingers were filling you. You should’ve been ashamed of the sounds coming out of you in your place of work, or the way your hips were grinding of their own accord into Maya’s face as her tongue circled your clit and her fingers pumped harder and harder up into you.

It only took a couple more minutes of Maya’s tongue flicking your clit and her fingers pressing down on the spot that she found so easily the first time for you to cum, your thighs shaking as you did. Maya moved impossibly fast to push your thigh off her shoulder and then wrap your leg around her waist as she stood up. Her fingers never stopped as you came around them. In fact, they barely even slowed as she began to fuck you against the wall. Her teeth were now buried into your neck as you kept crying out in both delicious pain and pleasure. 

Maya had officially lost herself in you, just as she had those months ago. She should’ve thought this through, but all she could do was keep taking from you all she craved. The way you whined out her name as she kept fucking you after your first orgasm was too tantalizing for her to stop. She pulled back for a moment to see your face, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes from just how hard Maya was fucking you, and she thought you looked incredible. In that moment, a voice in the back of her head said if she kept going, she would never be able to stop. But she also was too lost in the feeling of her fingers buried inside you to even consider putting an end to what was happening right now.

She felt you tighten around her fingers again, and with a few more pumps into you, she felt you cum again. Your body slumped forward to rest against hers and your head buried itself into her neck, but she wasn’t done.

“Come on,” She growled, “You and I both know you can take more than this.”

Despite that, Maya pulled her fingers out and you shuddered at the loss of feeling filled by her. Instead, she used her now free hand to hoist you up and, knowing how obedient you can be, she guessed accurately that you’d wrap your still shaking legs around your waist. With your naked body wrapped around hers, she carried you out of the shower room. She knew for a fact everyone else was either gone or nowhere near where the two of you were. She took you to one of the private rooms and immediately threw you on the bed.

You fell with a grunt, still not registering just yet all that had happened. Maya thought you looked cute, drunk off the two orgasms she gave you. She was far from done though.

“Hands and knees, face in the pillow and ass up. Can you do that?” Maya was already kneeling on the bed before you could even respond. You still had a dazed look on your face but when Maya grabbed your hips again and began flipping you over, you started to comply. 

It was a vulnerable position, your hands were already gripping the metal rods of the headboard before Maya even slipped her fingers back into you. Before you could actually lean down with your head on the pillow and your ass up for Maya, however, she was already sinking her fingers back into you. 

Immediately, upon slipping them in and pulling them out, Maya put her full force into the thrust to make you fall forward into the pillows. Which was a good thing, because it also made you let out a loud moan that probably echoed beyond the room. At least it was a little muffled with the help of the pillow she was forcing you to bury your face in.  

Maya again set a brutal pace, kneeling behind you to put her body weight into each pump of her fingers. And then, when she pushed a third one into you, your moans were flowing nonstop into the pillow as your knuckles turned white from how hard they were gripping at anything they could reach. 

Maya was leaning over you as she fucked you. Her hand came to your ass once or twice, smacking hard and watching as you jumped and you tightened around her fingers each time she did. She was in heaven, she had totally abandoned herself and all her rules tonight and for now she didn’t care. 

She had one goal and that was to satisfy her craving of you. It also helped that, in doing so, she hoped you’d be too exhausted for any sort of second date with that girl Vic set you up with any time soon. 

You were crying her name over and over again at this point, her fingers stretching you out so deliciously and hitting all the right spots the whole time. The way her hips pressed into you with each pump of her hand also made your head swim, and Maya couldn’t help the thought of doing this again but with something else entirely in place of her fingers. Anything to break you underneath her sounded good right now. 

It didn’t take longer, a few more harsh pumps of her fingers and another stinging slap of her hand down onto your ass had you coming again with a low whine. Your body collapsed onto the bed, yet you immediately felt Maya’s lips kiss up your back to your ear. 

“One minute and then we’re going again,” she whispered before running her tongue down your neck. 

You nodded desperately, wanting more but already too lost in Maya to form a coherent sentence. 

Three orgasms in and you both knew that was only the beginning. 

———————————————————

The next morning it was Maya’s turn to leave you in her bed. She still needed to shower and you were knocked out from the night before. 

Maya looked down smugly at your naked body, covered in hickeys and bite marks from the night before. But after a moment dread filled her again.

She had done this, she had broken her own rule and she couldn’t let this happen again. When the captain dates within the station, it’s always messy. But she wasn't dating you. It was just sex. Again. 

She had to make sure it was the only time this was to happen with you under her command. She couldn’t risk her position as captain, so she decided it was best to go back to ignoring you. 

But that didn’t last long at all. When Monday rolled around and you were on shift with both her and Vic, she didn’t realize just how prominent some of her hickeys were. You also sucked at hiding them, but you did at least try. 

Except Vic noticed immediately and when the three of you were yet again in the truck riding back from a call, Vic had to unknowingly poke the bear that was a reluctantly jealous Maya. 

“So, the date went that well?” Vic grinned over at you as you both rode back to the station. 

Maya again was cursed to silently listen. 

“It was fine.” You tried to be as dismissive as possible, but Vic took that as you being shy. 

“Just fine?” Maya could hear the devilish grin in Vic’s voice. “Say that to the evidence. Damn! It looks like you got mauled by a vampire.”

“What?!” Your hand immediately flew up to your neck. 

Maya was cursing herself and waiting for whatever poor excuse you were going to give. With any luck, Vic might buy it. 

“Busted!” Vic chuckled and leaned back. Your hand was still covering your neck and Maya could tell you were scrambling to find anything to say. “Must’ve been a great night.”

“It’s— that’s—“ you were stuttering, desperate to find an excuse. But then you paused for a moment and Maya was curious to hear your response. “You got me,” you let out a nervous chuckle. “It was a crazy night.” 

Maya didn’t expect that response. Logically, she knew it was your way of trying to deflect from the truth. Maya had placed that hickey. She knew she did. But logical Maya never seemed to be in the driver's seat when it came to you. Jealous Maya wondered what if it was there and she hadn’t noticed? What if you had gone out again Sunday and received it then? Jealous Maya couldn’t keep from balling her hands into fists as she listened closer to the conversation. 

“I knew you two would hit it off!”

“You were right,” you agreed, but your tone was weak, not quite convincing. It didn’t seem to bother Vic though. 

“When’s the next date?”

“Oh, it’s not set yet.”

“You need to call her! Maybe sometime we can do a double date!” Vic’s excitement was growing and Maya just begged the universe that the truck would go faster so they could arrive at the station and she could stop hearing everything that made her blood boil. “This is going to be great. I know for a fact she’s free the day you’re off next.”  Vic was completely oblivious to your growing discomfort as she kept ranting on about date ideas. 

“Yeah,” you gave Vic a nervous smile as all of you got out of the truck a few minutes later. “I’ll uh.. call her soon.”

“Nah, it’s already done!” Vic beamed with excitement. “I just checked if she’d want to meet up with you Friday.I know you a little by now, I knew you’d need the extra nudge.” Vic winked at you, not noticing Maya had stopped in her tracks in front of the both of you. 

“Oh…” your voice was filled with hesitation, “thanks, what did she say?”

“You’re on for Friday!” Vic not once noticed your reluctance or the way Maya shook with rage as the both of you walked past. 

And that was all it took for Maya to lose resolve. Friday night came, Maya found herself in front of your apartment—which was not her proudest moment since she had to look up your address from files she had on you—and she made sure you would miss your date. Maya had you on your back within minutes and utterly devoured you all night long. 

And then it kept happening. Over and over again. Each time Maya would get jealous. Vic had figured out the girl she set you up with didn’t work out, so she kept trying. It was driving Maya crazy. She couldn’t just leave you alone. Really, Maya thought, this was Vic’s fault for pushing her buttons. Even if Vic had no idea. 

Two months of this song and dance had gone by. Maya would get jealous, fuck you until you could barely walk, and say it was just sex. Then walk out and spend the rest of the week furious until the cycle restarted. 

At least she was in a good mood for a couple days after fucking you. She took it out on everyone a little less. But people were starting to notice her constant volatile moods, especially Andy. 

She may have known something, but Maya was sure it wasn’t the full truth. And Maya was okay with Andy wondering as much as she wanted, as long as she didn’t guess. 

When the two of you weren’t fucking, Maya felt like she was doing a decent job at keeping her feelings at bay. But the thing was, she was having a harder and harder time denying that there weren’t some feelings. 

When you were passed out from the nights the two of you spent together, Maya would linger. Holding you until the sun rose, brushing hair from your face, giving you soft touches and kisses when you were asleep. The idea of anyone else doing even just this with you felt like a kick in the gut to Maya. So she couldn’t deny that “just sex” was a bullshit excuse to explain this situation she found herself in. 

She didn’t really have a plan to deal with any of it either. She thought maybe her feelings would go away, but then she would have to stop acting on her need to have you. So far, she’s failed miserably at it. 

Then she thought maybe one of Vic’s blind dates would work and you’d stop giving in to her. But then Maya never even let you go on those dates. She kept showing up at just the right moment and consuming you in every single way so that you had no chance to make it to see another human being that night or even the next. You’d never make it to a date, because Maya would never let you. It was a fucked up cycle, but Maya knew deep down she wasn’t going to let it break. 

Except, of course something had to eventually give. It always did, Maya knew it would. This was just in the worst possible way. 

There was a bad fire. A building collapsed and you were in it. Maya was frantically giving her teams orders, but when she heard on an intercom that you were pinned by a beam and surrounded by flames, Andy had to physically hold her back. 

She watched in utter horror when Jack carried your broken body out of the building and rushed it to the ambulance. 

She looked at her team and the work that still needed to be done and then back at the ambulance that was packing you in. Duty over heart was what she always said but in the moment her whole world felt like it was caving in. 

“Go,” Andy’s eyes said it all and Maya couldn’t begin to grasp the severity of that. “She needs you. I’ll handle the rest.” 

That’s all it took for Maya to break out into a sprint and demand to ride in the ambulance with you. 

You were rushed into surgery upon arrival. Broken ribs, a punctured lung and a few more things that Maya didn’t quite grasp. Her ears were ringing the minute the EMT said it was serious. Things didn’t look good and Maya couldn’t stop blaming herself. 

After a while Andy appeared in the waiting room with Vic, Travis, and Warren not far behind. 

“How is she?” Travis was the first to ask.

“I don’t— I’m not sure. They’re not telling me anything.” Maya had been pacing the waiting room, unable to sit still but unwilling to go far in case she missed an update. “I don’t know if she’s okay, if she’ll be okay. I don’t know a damn thing.”

“Hey, hey,” Warren stepped in. “She’s in good hands.” 

“I know that,” Maya went back to pacing. “I know. But what if she won’t be okay?”

“She’s strong,” Vic said as she sat down and followed Maya with her eyes. “She’ll pull through this.” 

“Yeah, and if she doesn’t?” Maya’s speed increased as worst case scenarios ran through her mind. 

“She will,” Travis echoed. 

“I can’t believe I let her go in there! I can’t believe she was so reckless and where was everyone? She shouldn’t have been alone so long. I should’ve gone in, I knew I should’ve handled it. This is all my fault.” Maya was spiraling at this point. Her hands were shaking as she kept pacing back and forth. She didn’t care who was in the room with her right now, all she could focus on was the images of your broken body laying in the ambulance next to her. She didn’t realize it until this very moment that she was actually living her worst nightmare and she wasn’t sure if she fully grasped why, but she was beginning to understand. “She’s hurt and this is my doing and if she doesn’t come through— if she doesn’t open her damn eyes again. I can’t— I don’t know what I’ll—“

“Hey,” Andy finally stepped in, cutting off Maya in her path that she kept pacing in. Her hands fell to both Maya’s shoulders. “This wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

A twist in Maya’s gut told her otherwise. You were upset with her before you ran in. The cycle had repeated and you were to be set up on another date. Only this time, it seemed to Maya like you actually wanted to go. So she got pushy earlier and you got angry. She knew you were getting tired of the cycle, she knew you hated when she left you alone in her bed. 

She still did it because it felt easier than admitting the truth. But then you had reached your boiling point and you had told her you'd rather run into a burning building than hear her deny her feelings for you one more time. So that’s exactly what you did. And then you got hurt. 

“You don’t understand,” Maya’s voice cracked and she squeezed her eyes shut. This was someone’s fault. This was her fault and Maya knew it. 

“I do,” Andy’s eyes said it all. In those two simple words, Maya finally broke. 

“I love her… I love her just so much,” Maya broke down, a sob wracking through her body.   

Andy immediately pulled her into an embrace. The rest of the room was utterly silent apart from the gut wrenching sobs coming from their captain. 

The shock in everyone was apparent, except Andy, who had guessed early on. Maya should be worried, she should be ashamed of this reaction, but she couldn't do anything other than cry into her friend’s shoulder and regret nearly every decision she’s made about you up until this point. 

“I can’t lose her,” Maya’s voice trembled as she cried. 

“I know.” Andy’s arms tightened around Maya. 

“I love her,” Maya repeated again between sobs. 

“Then what are you going to do about it when she comes out of this?” Andy’s question was gentle, but serious. Maya, in that moment, knew just how much Andy really did understand about her relationship with you. As Maya lifted her head she looked over to the three others on her team. Vic’s eyes were red rimmed, tears threatening to fall from seeing Maya’s desperate outburst. Travis looked back at her with surprise, but sad understanding, and Warren gave her a nod that told her, in this moment, he understood all and all would be okay. 

It took hours of the five of them waiting before Maya was finally given an update. 

She was so happy to hear what the doctor had to say that she couldn’t stop from another round of tears breaking loose. She was told it would be awhile before you would wake up, but she insisted on waiting. Eventually, you got a room and Maya parked herself on a chair next to your unconscious form. 

The hospital didn’t seem the happiest that non-family was insisting on staying, but since Maya knew people in this hospital, she had strings pulled so she could ensure that she would never be removed from your side. 

It still took even longer for you to wake up. But when finally, over 24 hours had passed, and you stirred, Maya immediately jumped to her feet. 

Her hand went to yours, colder and paler than usual. Her thumb stroked the top of it, and when your eyes fluttered she immediately pressed the nurse call button. 

“Hey,” her voice was barely above a whisper as she watched you begin to slowly blink your eyes open. 

“Where… where am I?” Your voice was hoarse and she could tell it hurt you to speak. Probably from the breathing tube during your surgery. 

“You’re in the hospital,” Maya spoke softly as she reached to push a strand of your hair from your face. “There was an accident, but everyone made it out. A nurse will come soon.”

You still clearly weren’t quite awake yet. Usually, you’d have questions, but Maya guessed that the medication they had you on, plus just waking from surgery, made you too groggy to respond well. You, instead, nodded weakly at her words, your eyes closing again and your head leaning back. 

The nurse came in shortly after, checking vitals and verifying that everything was okay. He filled you in on what had happened, the surgery you had, and informed you that your doctor would be in when possible. The two of you thanked him as you left, but Maya remained standing by your side, her hand cradling yours as if it was the most delicate thing in the world. 

She had texted folks briefly that you had woken up. Vic was nearby and was there shortly after receiving the text. 

To your surprise, Maya still didn’t release your hand as she told Vic what the nurse said and how the doctor hadn’’t come to talk to you yet. Vic sat in a chair next to the both of you, and even then Maya still refused to let go of your hand. 

For the most part, you didn’t question it. You greeted Vic but the both of them insisted it was okay to keep your eyes closed and head back to rest. After all, you had almost died. Maya insisted that meant that, despite the visitor, you needed all the rest you could get. 

When Vic got a text that Travis was in the hospital but lost trying to find your room, she volunteered to find him and bring him to you. However, that left you and Maya alone again and while you still felt exhausted and a little bit delirious from the medicine, you finally had to ask. “Why haven’t you let go of my hand?” Your voice was quiet, but Maya’s attention was so focused on you that you knew she would hear. 

“I don’t want to let go.” Maya said it as if it was the most simple thing in the world. Even if she knew her actions up until now made you think it was the last thing she wanted. 

“People will see,” you turned your head to look at her now and Maya smiled softly at the slight surprise in your face when you found her intensely staring back at you. “Vic saw.”

“I know,” Maya released your hand to press her own to your cheek. “Let them see.” 

“Why?” Maya let out a soft laugh at the simplicity of your question and the confusion in your eyes. 

“Because they already know.” She smiled again as your brow furrowed in confusion. She didn’t need to wait for your question to know what you wanted to ask. “They all know how I feel about you. Kind of let the cat out of the bag when you got hurt.” 

Maya gave you a sheepish grin and your brow furrowed again. “What do you mean?”

Maya’s eyes softened for a moment before her face turned serious. She leaned in closer to your face, her hand still pressed to your cheek. You expected her to look up to see if anyone was coming, but she never did. Instead, as she leaned so close to you that you could feel her breath tickle your lips, she whispered, “I mean… that they know that I love you and I can’t live another second without you.” 

With that her lips pressed to yours ever so gently and your eyes fluttered closed as you enjoyed the feeling of the softness in Maya’s touch. 

“I love you too,” you whispered before feeling Maya’s lips press slightly more firm on your own. 

“Okay, lovebirds,” Travis’ voice broke your kiss and Maya pulled back slowly with a dazzling smile. “She just woke up. Let the girl rest first!”

“Come on,” Maya put her hands up in fake surrender. “You know I’ve been waiting to say that for a while!”

“Yeah,” Vic came in behind Travis with a cheeky smirk. “All it took was a burning building and a near death experience.”

“You better take good care of her,” Travis followed up, with a joking tone that held some seriousness to it. 

“You know that I will,” Maya looked back at you now as she spoke. “For as long as she’ll have me.”

And those words told you all you needed to know now. That Maya was willing to build something real with you. That she was yours and you were hers. That now, finally, after months of pining and denying each other, you could be together. This was the beginning of something you both wanted for so long, even if Maya was the one to hold you both back from the one thing each of you needed. 

She promised in that moment, as you nodded and gave her a genuine smile, that she wouldn’t deny herself again. She had wanted to be captain so long, she let it get in the way of other wants, other needs. She wanted you, needed you, to be hers. And now with you by her side, she could be both a good captain and build a fulfilling life. As she held your hand in her own she saw her future with you, one of success still, but one that also is filled with love. She couldn’t wait to indulge in every aspect that came with finally having you by her side.

tags: @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @high--power @lovelyy-moonlight @jareguiromanoff @thegirloverthemoon @natsnerd

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[ao3commentoftheday]

hi, first of all thank you so much for running this blog! i've followed you for a quite a while now and i can't express enough how helpful it has been!

i think this is more of a little confession than an ask, i guess i just want to get some stuff off my chest. feel free to ignore this though because i dont think what i'm about to say here is something that hasn't been said before, now that i've scrolled your blog for like an hour or so.

i've never written really consistently, same goes for my other stuff like art or vid editing. i feel like having a solid plot isn't really my strong suit so i usually just stick to oneshots where there are little actions but a lot of feeling lol, and even with that i have drafts and bullet points from 5 years ago that i haven't touched. there's a lot of struggle with finishing things as well, wips of all kind just keep accumulating and i just feel so guilty over that, especially when i get the idea for something new. i suppose the more i internalize that the more i get intimidated by the mere thought of starting anything at all.

so recently i got a new shiny idea of a multichapter fic, its scope is larger than anything i have ever written or attempted to, and it has plot. i have basically spent weeks trying to piece together a string of plot, setting up characterization and all that jazz. i got pretty ambitious with how the story unfold, so there is considerably more prepping than ever.

i'm now writing the pilot chapter, and honestly it is getting frustrating. i know you have mentioned speedrunning to jump straight into "the good bits" before, but there's just this strange obligation to the opening that i can't quite shake off. i also set up this mental quota for words count, and seeing myself spending days and still not reaching that number is very disheartening.

realistically, i can see many recommending slowly building up my writing, like just biting what i can chew and enlarge the bite as i go. but the idea of shelving this one feels bad, and i wanna ride the high before i start losing interest and eventually look back on this project with some sort of bitter regret like many others. i know the saying about projects not disappearing and i can always pick up from where i left it, but my mind doesn't seem to be happy with that, and this is worsened be the reminder of my other several-year-old abandoned fic.

sorry for the whole rambling. i am aware that this is a mindset problem and i have issues with instant gratification. it just i was so excited during the planning phase and now the actual writing is so stagnant that i feel like im losing hope for a breakthrough. and i couldn't even ramble to anyone about the plans because most of my friends aren't into what i'm writing for/the particular character i'm centering this fic around i'm scared that i'm gonna bother them; i am not actually active in the fandom and joining a server makes me insanely anxious. the whole thing just feels more and more like digging a hole for myself and lie there.

again i am so sorry for the rambling this got out of hand! i hope you have a good day!

Oof. Deep breath, anon! It's okay 💗

You've got several things in this ask that I want to have a quick chat with you about, but feel free to jump to the end if what I'm saying isn't hitting for you.

I want to start by addressing your little personal history that you gave up at the top. This is something that I hear from a lot of people about various hobbies, not just writing. We feel guilty when we don't finish a project. We feel bad when we stop doing something when it stops being fun.

That's normal. That's a perfectly fine choice to make with how you spend your free time. Just because school and work both require you to finish projects doesn't mean that your hobbies require that too. Just because your parents said you couldn't give up on [insert hobby here] because it cost so much for your lessons or equipment etc. doesn't mean that you have to hold yourself to that same standard when you're the one paying your own bills. Besides, writing is free.

Be a little kinder to yourself and a little more forgiving when you DNF a fic. You're allowed to quit writing as much as you're allowed to quit reading. If it sucks, hit da bricks.

Related to that idea is the way you talk about "struggling to finish fics." Of course you struggle with doing something that you're bored or frustrated with. If the story itself isn't more interesting than the struggle why would you continue with it? Keeping yourself motivated isn't just about energy. It's also about passion. When it comes to a hobby, the only person pushing you to finish a thing is you. And when you're tired after working all day or after finishing a full day of school, you don't want to start writing a fic that feels like homework. You want to work on a fic that feels like play.

It sounds like you got that play feeling from creating the plan for your story. Whatever you were doing at that stage was keeping your passion alive. So what's changed since you shifted from planning to writing?

If you've created a strict outline that you're now trying to follow then it might feel like you're doing homework or just filling in boxes in the fic-writing factory. Try to find places where you can still make creative decisions as you go, where you haven't got things all planned out in advance. Put a little "choose your own adventure" back into your storytelling and that passion might come back.

Try investigating that "obligation to the opening" as well. What's the cause of that? Was the first scene the one that prompted the rest of the story? Are you trying to do the tone setting and worldbuilding there? What expectation have you put in place for yourself, and is there a way to shift that expectation to later in the fic? What's the most basic version of that opening that you can write to get it down on the page? You can go back later to add more to it if you still think it needs it.

One thing to remember when you're writing a large, complex story is that the reader doesn't need to know anywhere near as much as you do. You can figure out 10 books worth of backstory and worldbuilding and relationship history that informs what you put on the page, but you don't actually have to write it all down if the reader doesn't need to know all of the ins and outs. And if you want, you can always create a companion fic on the side where you do go into deep dives or missing moments etc. when those things ignite a spark inside you.

When it comes to word count, though? Throw. That. Idea. In. The. Garbage. The number of words you use has nothing to do with the quality of the story that you're telling. It's a number that you've clearly put some kind of meaning into, but saying that a 100K fanfic is better than a 20K fanfic is kind of like saying that a 6ft tall person is better than a 5ft tall person based solely on their respective heights. It makes no sense!

I'll get off that particular soap box now, anon, but I do hope that you'll be kinder to yourself. You're beating yourself up in a dozen different ways and none of them are a good reason to be so mean to the most important person in your life: yourself. ❤️

[twopoppies]

Why do their teams allow them to openly support the lgbtq community knowing that their fan base..especially Harry's is okay with it..but they can't openly date the same sex? I know you will say I just don't understand closeting..and you are correct as I'm a straight person..but I for one could care less how they identify..I love them no matter what. The straight fans that buy their merch..tickets to shows etc..they see that both of them openly support the community..they don't " un fan" because of this. Could the fallout really be that terrible? I honestly feel like if it's true that they are together which I question presently ..their careers might actually skyrocket... love is love..

It’s not so much that you don’t understand closeting, but I think you’re maybe a little unaware of how awful the homophobia in the world actually is.

I’m not sure if you were here when Harry posted the photos of himself in the ballerina costume on IG a few years ago. The comments were absolutely horrendous. It was truly shocking how vile people were. It happened again with his Vogue shoot. “Bring back manly men” was the most polite version of it.

They may not personally care what people think of them, but that doesn’t mean they want to risk losing huge swaths of potential fans (even if those fans are terrible people).

You might know that love is love. Some of their fans might not care of they came out. But a whole lot of people would. And they came came out together, that’s a whole other can of worms. There are so many people in Harry’s fandom who hate Louis. And so many people in Louis’ fandom who hate Harry.

We don’t know if H wants to try acting again. If he does, coming out now could seriously derail any opportunities he might have. Would Louis have more acceptance in the indie music scene if he came out? Or less? It’s already hard enough. Would they feel safe traveling everywhere they travel now (for work or for pleasure)? Would they want to invite the scrutiny into their personal lives that coming out would bring?

Showing support to the community is a hell of a lot different to openly saying you’re a part of the community. I don’t think either is ashamed of their sexuality, but that doesn’t mean they want to invite the world into their private lives.

I think people who push the idea that they “should just come out” really aren’t thinking about things from Harry and Louis’ perspectives.

I hope one day they want to be seen together, even if they don’t want to publicly discuss it or put a label on it. But I don’t see that happening until they’re further along in their careers (or have a family).

[that-androgynous-lightweaver]

not sure how original this take is, but i've seen a lot of frustration about the lack of a fem genius in bsd to complement Dazai, Ranpo and Fyodor. but honestly, i think we as a fandom tend to underestimate Louisa due to her shyness and the failure of The Guild as a villain (which in my opinion has more to do with Francis not being strong enough to beat sskk rather than Louisa's planning itself failing). when Francis explains how he knew the ADA would try to infiltrate the Moby Dick, he doesn't really describes Louisa's talents as supernatural, and we see later for certain that Little Women doesn't actually give her the ability to make predictions; it just gives her time. i think we can all agree that, even with Louisa's ability, most people wouldn't be able to write two inch thick plans including contingencies for every possibility like Louisa does. she's clearly extremely smart, and i don't think we give her enough credit for that.

in fact, i was going to point out that her being unable to plan spontaneously like Dazai or Ranpo doesn't mean she isn't a genius. honestly, though, it's possible that she can come up with things on the spot like that. she might only need the time Little Women gives her to collect her thoughts and transfer them into a form other people can understand since communication is hard for her. similar to Ranpo and Dazai's difference, Louisa and Dazai's difference is in physical power and leadership skills. Louisa isn't a combatant like Dazai.

however, each of the three have their flaws.

Ranpo isn't a combatant either, and Louisa doesn't have to manipulate (for lack of a less negative word) people into following her plan like Dazai seems to do. also, she neither considers herself better than other people nor avoids cases (or, in her case, situations to write plans for) like Ranpo does. like Ranpo, Louisa has clearly earned people's respect, and they trust her to direct them to success. her main flaw is that she seems to struggle with communication, but she still finds a way to work through that to help her organization. i think Louisa fulfilled the same role in the Guild - both the Moby Dick Guild and the renewed Guild - as Ranpo does in the agency, and that's part of why it's so hard to tell how smart she is; she's not in one of the main organizations, so we rarely see her intelligence at work.

anyways! my point is just that we should look past her shyness for once and consider that she likely is on the same level of intelligence as Ranpo, Dazai and Fyodor - or at least close to it - even though it's hard to tell on a surface level due to her portrayal in the anime and even the manga sometimes. and although i do think bsd needs way more complex fem characters, i also think we don't talk about some of the ones we do have enough - especially Louisa.

[sentient-stove]

Ngl I agree with you on the whole parent tag thing. I understand that not seeing what you want in your tag can be frustrating but if everything is tagged that's just life? Like I don't like certain ships in my fandoms. Doesn't mean I have the right to yell at those who ship them when I see so many grayed out boxes. Same with character tags. Also if someone wants to block dp they shouldn't have to block every variation of crossover.

I also have a problem with the whole "A discord group decided for tumblr users (with most tumblr users not in said discord) to tag a certain way" so anyone who tags differently is immature and wrong. Like if the whole fandom came to consensus that's fine, but that's not what is happening? I've been in all three spaces for at least a year and in dp for longer and I've never heard about this so called consensus actually being agreed upon. Mainly just different groups being super rude about things and talking down to others because of how they tag.

Yeah, there’s no true way to get people to decide to do things, and one discord server isn’t “everyone”. I honestly thought the server that had been referenced was the Haunting Heroes dcxdp server (which is 18+ only) until it was confirmed to me that that server was not the referenced dcxdp one.

At the end of the day, no one owns a tag, no one can make everyone agree to leave, crossovers have a place in fandom under the parent tags and we can really only promote that people tag more extensively instead of less. I often see the argument that “well I was bullied out of x parent tag so it’s fine!” When like. That also should not have happened to you. You were using the tags to mark the content inside your post. Why are we suddenly promoting poor tagging practices. Are we heathens now.(apparently)

Tagging is for blog archival first, engagement second and I just find it hilarious that a lot of new dp only content gets rejected by general fandom unless it’s a regurgitated version of an already existing, often extremely fanon, take. Mayhaps instead of bullying out a crossover whose crime is tagging fully and having some ooc takes, we promote the content we want to see. Tearing others down takes us nowhere but backwards.

[damnfandomproblems]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/787788705356201984/fandom-problem-9452-im-not-gonna-stand-up-here?source=share

i mean if you wont say fans are heterophobic then i will because they absolutely are. i wont say oppressed because im sick and fucking tired of oppression being brought up if fucking fandom over ships but fans ARE more hostile to mlw shippers and ARE excluding them from fandom spaces. i don't care if gays are a minority in the grand scheme of things compared to the whole entire population of the world, queer people are the majority in english speaking fandom and they NEED to recognize that.

up against a large company or whatever they may be oppressed and censored, but they hold more power and influence in fandom communities than straight shippers. it is significantly easier for queer people or queer shippers in fandom to harass and bully straight people or straight shippers than it is the other way around.

and two wrongs do not make a right. it doesn't matter if queer people are oppressed irl, it doesn't give then the right to do it to others. it doesn't give them the right to hate straight ships because they are straight ships. just like gay people aren't sinners or disgusting or what have you, straight people aren't either. say what you fucking will but no one is lesser for having a different or the same gender as the person they love.

anyway sorry for arguing against things that havent ben said here (recently anyway) but i see this kind of attitude, behavior, and type of arguments about how mlw shipper are disgusting and whatnot, and im sick of it.im sick of other queers acting like they are better than straight people just because they are some flavor of queer and then treating straight people like scum. it isnt equality but a role reversal that many queer people actually want. and before anyone says im just a "cishet who's pressed no one likes their straight ship" im nonbinary and a fucking demi fictosexual (acespec). i argue i get it worse than you. but that doesn't fucking matter because it wrong to hate others for their identity or flavor of shipping they like no matter what and that shouldn't be a controversial take!!

ill end it here before i go on another rant in this one ask

Posting as a response to a previous problem.