#It's moments like this where I remember my flatmate knows my tumblr account...

[badhotdog03]

Real talk... what is enemies to lovers without a bit of a knife kink?? Like, is that not the point? Is that not why we're reading it? Don't we all wanna be lightly threatened while we're getting seduced??

[awed-frog]

Do you have any advice for someone who’s really struggling to study? I’m really stressed and demotivated, and I can’t seem to sit down and just study. In my country we only have virtual classes so maybe It has something to do with that, it’s really sad that it’s my first college year and I haven’t attended one single face to face class. Anyway, If you have any kind words I would really appreciate it. Love your blog btw <3

Hey! Thank you for this! And I’m very sorry you feel that way...just know you’re not alone, I think we’re all a bit ‘what’s the point’ rn, and for students (and teachers) this period must suck especially hard. I don’t know exactly what can work for you, but here are a few things that come to mind. I hope you can find something useful!

Have habits and routines. Our days are all over the place, which is not good for motivation or mental health. Instead of procrastinating, feeling guilty, working in a hurry and then feeling even worse, decide on a schedule that works for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself - give it as much time as you need to do the work well, and devote the rest of your day to stuff that makes you feel accomplished and serene (maybe learn or practice a non-screen skill, such as cooking or painting?).

And: at risk of sounding like a yoga mom, don’t forget about your body. Very often stuff like bad mood or exhaustion has physical, not mental, causes. Try to make time for sport - dancing in your underwear, running outside, walking the dog, online pilates, a 7-minute app - and, if you can, a few minutes of meditation, singing or breathing exercises every day. I’d recommend the ‘cardiac coherence’ stuff - lasts about 3 minutes, makes you feel really great. And: remember to stretch, smile and drink water throughout the day. If possible, go outside or have plants and flowers around you.

When it comes to habit, try to understand what kind of person you are and react accordingly. Some people work best when they change cold turkey (new day, new me), while for others it’s better to adjust things more slowly (for instance by moving the alarm clock forward five minutes every week or two). If you’re the second type, a method like Pomodoro could work well to organize your work schedule. 

Have pretty things. Try switching to ink or coloured pens, have nice stationery, organize your Word documents so they’re neat and tidy, use candles, plants, ‘good mood’ incense - whatever makes you feel your work has meaning and worth.

Try background music. Some people work better with noise, and you can find all kind of noises online, from stations to coffee shops to purring cats. Others like classical music. For me, what works is video game music, which is designed to keep you alert and focused while being unobtrusive.

Try to keep your workspace as similar as possible to a ‘real’ workspace. No stack of dirty mugs and plates, no abandoned pajama bottoms. If you can manage it, start your day as if you were actually going outside - dress for actual human company, put on make-up if you like to - and remember to prepare your desk the night before: textbooks, charged laptop, notebooks, water bottle, possibly a diary or a motivational quote or anything you find useful.

If it helps, study with friends or classmates. Have video meetings, chats or shared Google docs and work together. Rant with people who’re going through the same thing, but also find a way to help one another. If you live with flatmates or family members, maybe you can find a moment to work together on your separate things? Dad does admin, mom prepares a work presentation, you do your homework and that’s ‘work time’ for everyone?

Divide your tasks. Make clear lists of what you have to do - as detailed as possible (not: shakespeare essay, but: 1. read book, 2. write essay, 2b. introduction and so on) and pay attention to when the stuff is due, either writing it down in agendas or post-its or creating alerts on your phone. Some people also like the square of doom (you know, that ‘important + urgent’, ‘important + non urgent’ thingy).  

Keep track of what you’re doing if you find it helps you. There are good apps for this, or you can use a nice journal or an Excel sheet. Track whatever you want - minutes of study, words learned, tasks accomplished...a favourite of mine is ‘a time logger’, which can track your entire day. When I was in uni, it made me realize I was working a lot more than I thought, and reaching daily goals kept me motivated.

Rethink your internet consumption, especially news, TV shows and social media. Try having periods where you go off-screen whenever you need a break. Stuff like, ‘no TV before 6 pm’ or ‘no tumblr on weekdays’ can automatically make you a lot less stressed and a lot more productive. 

You can also decide to modify the way you engage with these things. For instance, if your studies involve a language, you could watch only TV shows in [language], or turn on [language] subtitles, or you could switch to Buzzfeed [country]. If you like IG, pinterest or tumblr, try having a separate ‘weekday’ account which is about healthy escapism and/or accountability: landscapes and poetry instead of fandom content, or a personal blog about your day - use the right tags and connect with others who’re going through the same thing.    

Imagine you’re teaching someone. I’m guessing you’re passionate about your subject, so turn your study sessions into imaginary conversations. Teaching a lesson (or making a speech) is often the best way to see what you understand, what you need to work on, and what you’re interested in learning more about.

Websites like b-ok can help you find books about your subject (or not) - possibly stuff you’re not actually compelled to read, but which sounds interesting nonetheless. Broaden your horizon, discover different stuff, and sooner or later you’ll find yourself making connections between the exciting stuff you’re basically reading for fun and the actual subject you’re studying.

And: remember why you’re studying this. What are you passionate about? Why did you fall in love with your subject? Why are you studying it? Sometimes we have to endure a few boring classes to get to the good part, and that’s okay.

And finally: visualize the future. The world will get better, and at some point you’ll be glad you’ve spent a few (or many) hard and boring hours getting your degree. What are you going to do after this? Make a ‘future’ board, write a fake Wikipedia article about yourself, give a Nobel or graduation speech, give a pep talk to your (imaginary) future children about the hardships you faced on Zoom and how you overcame them to become the mom they know and love. Whatever works, no matter how ridiculous or narcissistic or far-fetched is a good thing!

I hope this helps! Remember to remain calm and positive, and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a child or a best friend. Less You suck and the world is going to end and more Yes, you didn’t do great today, but we can always do better tomorrow, it’s okay to have an off day! Uni is hard enough under any circumstances, and right now...do your best and resist the bait of dark thoughts: we will get through this, and everything will be alright. It’s how it works.

[gabbygumswrites]

Of Cats and Dogs - A Dan and Phil Fanfiction

Of Cats and Dogs - Chapter 4: The Sofa Debacle

Fandom: Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil (Phandom)

Rating: Gen

Tags: Pets, Cats, Dogs, Original Characters

Summary: Dan gets roped into taking care of his friend's dog. And somehow Phil manages to get hold of a cat. This can only mean chaos.

AO3 Link

CHAPTER 3: The Sofa Debacle

Dan had just put his keys down when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and furrowed his brow. Who would call him at this hour? More to the point, who was using phones to actually call someone instead of just texting?

When he saw Sara’s name flash on the display, he laughed. She was that kind of person who believed in ‘real interactions’ instead of ‘unpersonal written messages.’ Phil peered up at Dan from his crouch on the floor where he had just freed Ivy from her collar.

“Hi Sara,” Dan said, both to greet her and let Phil know who he was talking to. “How are you?”

“Hey Dan. I’m fine. All is well. How’s Ivy?”

Dan laughed. “Not beating around the bush, are you?”

“You know me well,” she said, but there was a hint of anxiety in her voice, too. “Is she behaving herself?”

Dan went over to the stairs to sit and take off his shoes. When he sat down, Sammy flitted past him and straight over to where Phil and Ivy were sat on the floor.

“Ivy’s fine. We’ve just come home from a walk. Did you know that she can catch a ball in mid-air?”

“I did,” Sara said, and Dan could hear the smile in her voice. “I think I was the one who taught her that.”

“It’s brilliant. I think Phil might have tired her out a bit, though,” Dan said, peering over at Ivy, who did seem a bit less energetic than usual. She just sat there, letting Phil and Sammy pet her however they liked.

“I hope Phil doesn’t mind too much...” Sara began, but Dan cut her right off. “He doesn’t, so don’t worry. In fact, he brought a pet of his own.”

“He did?”

“Yeah,” Dan said and looked over at Sammy, who just got his ears scratched by Phil. “He brought a cat.”

“I thought he was allergic to cats?”

“He is. But this cat –”

“Sammy!” Phil said from the other side of the hallway.

“– Sammy. Don’t listen in, Phil!” Phil just stuck out his tongue and stood up. At the other end of the line, Sara chuckled.

“Anyway, Sammy is our second temporary pet, because he followed Phil into our flat and won’t leave.”

“What do you mean he followed Phil?”

Dan shrugged, even though he knew Sara couldn’t actually see him. “Well, you know how it is with Phil. He encounters one weird animal a week, and Sammy is the weird pet of the week.”

“Sammy isn’t weird,” Phil said when he squeezed past Dan up the stairs, closely followed by Ivy and Sammy.

Dan rolled his eyes at him. Sara guffawed. “If I hadn’t met Phil myself I wouldn’t believe you,” she said between laughs.

“I know! I think his followers still don’t really believe the stories he tells sometimes. But they are all true!” Dan laughed.

There was a pause when they both stopped laughing. When Sara spoke up, there was this tension in her voice again.

“Do they get along? Sammy and Ivy?”

“Like a house on fire,” Dan said. “They are inseparable. In fact, together they are like Pinky and the Brain. They stole our bacon from right under Phil’s nose this morning.”

“Dan, I’m so sorry-”

“Sara, don’t apologize. And stop worrying. I said I’d look after Ivy, and that’s what I’m going to do until you don’t need me to anymore.”

Dan could hear Sara exhale in relief. “Thank you. Honestly, you’re doing me a big favour.”

“It’s fine, really. Actually, it’s been real fun with them around.” Dan smiled when he thought of the first walk he had with Ivy yesterday, and began to recount the whole incident.

“Oh, poor Ivy, she’s already protective of you!” Sara said. “I think she will be very sad when she has to leave you eventually.”

Dan didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t really know how he felt about that. “Speaking of which, have you had any luck already?” he said instead.

“Well, not that quickly, obviously,” Sara said with a sigh. “I posted on Facebook and Gumtree, and I’m going to call our local animal shelter for advice.”

Dan nodded. Then he remembered that Sara couldn’t see his face. “I see.”

They were silent for a moment. Dan couldn’t really shake the feeling that something was still bothering Sara, but he wasn’t exactly sure what it was.

“Do you need help with the search?”

“God no, you are already doing way too much,” she said.

“Okay,” Dan said.

“Alright, gotta go. I just wanted to make sure everything’s fine. And if you can’t take care of her anymore –”

“Which won’t happen,” Dan interjected.

“– but just in case, call me and I’ll figure it out.”

Dan gave a very theatrical heavy sigh. “Sara, I said it’s fine, how many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Sara mumbled something akin to an apology into the speaker.

“Well, you could come over and see her and Sammy if you want. I think she would be happy to see you again.”

“That’d be great,” Sara said, and some of the tension seemed to seep out of her.

After they said their goodbyes, Dan put his phone back in his pocket and stood up to go and find his flatmates. It was funny how much livelier the flat felt with two more occupants. Dan never thought that he would actually enjoy that.

He found Phil, Ivy and Sammy in the kitchen. Ivy and Sammy were sitting on the floor, munching on their dinner. Phil was leaning against the counter, scrolling through his phone and waiting for the kettle to boil. He had two mugs ready next to him.

“Thanks,” Dan said, leaning against the counter next to Phil. He looked down at Ivy and Sammy, watching how Sammy delicately licked his bowl clean, and how Ivy just slobbered everything up.

“Pizza for dinner?” Phil asked.

“Yes, please,” Dan said, and Phil immediately pulled up the app to order.

“So why did Sara call?” Phil asked when he poured the boiling water into the mugs.

“Making sure we didn’t mistreat Ivy,” Dan said and grabbed the Pixel-Phan mug. He didn’t really like the weird Lego mug.

When Phil looked up at him with concern, Dan just smiled and shook his head. “Na, I think she is just anxious that she just dumped her problem on us, that’s all.”

“But she does know that we don’t mind.”

Dan shrugged. “I told her over and over but I think she still thinks she roped me into it.”

“Well, she kinda did.”

“Kind of. But do you mind?”

“No,” Phil said without missing a beat.

They both looked down at Ivy and Sammy, who had just finished their dinner. Sammy was grooming himself, while Ivy just lay on the floor, looking completely knackered.

“I think you broke her,” Dan said.

“I hope not. But I kinda feel her,” Phil said and yawned. “I’m exhausted.”

Dan couldn’t help but yawn, too. “Yeah, it’s been ages I’ve been outside that often.”

Phil took out the teabag from his mug and grabbed some milk from the fridge. “How about a movie to go with the pizza?”

“Hell yeah,” Dan said and threw his own teabag in the bin.

They took their mugs and walked into the lounge, discussing movie options. For some reason, Phil really wanted to re-watch Fantastic Beasts, and as Dan didn’t have any other suggestion they settled for that. Maybe it was because of their new pets, maybe it was because Dan needed more Harry Potter in his life, but he was actually excited to see this movie again, and he wasn’t usually that keen on watching certain movies over and over again.

Neither Ivy nor Sammy followed them. When they left them in the kitchen it seemed like they decided to take a nap right there on the kitchen floor, their eyes drooping sleepily. Since ‘The Bacon Incident,’ as they liked to dub it, they made sure that every piece of food was stashed away safely and every door to every room the two rascals shouldn’t enter was firmly closed; so Dan didn’t worry too much.

He and Phil sipped on their teas, watching Newt’s arrival in New York. Just when he stumbled across Tina, the bell rang. Phil jumped up from the sofa, almost splashing tea everywhere. Dan paused the movie and went to retrieve plates from the kitchen.

It was when the door shut closed again and Dan could hear Phil ascend the stairs that Ivy’s and Sammy’s ears pricked up. Dan shook his head at them as they both flew out of the kitchen. He followed, and surely they had run right into the lounge, their eyes fixed on Phil with the pizza cartons balancing on his right hand. With the other, he pointed a warning finger at Ivy and Sammy.

“This time there won’t be any food stealing,” he said in a stern voice. “This is my pizza.”

Dan chuckled and sat back on the sofa. He passed a plate to Phil and grabbed one of the proffered pizza slices.

Sammy had apparently realized that this time there would not be any special treats, so he turned around and made himself comfortable on the rug in front of the telly. Ivy, who was still entranced by the smell of the pizza, remained seated at Phil’s feet, looking up at the pizza with big, hungry eyes.

“You just had dinner, now let us have ours,” Dan said and resumed the movie.

Hungry as they were, they polished off the pizzas pretty fast. As soon as the last piece was gone, Ivy hung her head and walked over to lie down next to Sammy.

Dan sat back with a contented sigh. He grabbed for one of the blankets and settled back into the sofa. Next to him, Phil folded his legs underneath himself, propping his chin on his hands.

Dan’s gaze wandered from the screen to Ivy and Sammy on the floor. They both hadn’t been in Dan and Phil’s life for long, but Dan couldn’t deny that it felt like they had been with them for a lot longer. Ivy was such a joy to have around; he would have never thought that he would look forward to going outside for a walk. He still didn’t like it that much – bless his minor agoraphobia – but with Ivy he felt safer out there. And for some reason, Dan even liked Sammy. He didn’t trust him; he stood by that. But something about that little bugger was just endearing.

He glanced at Sammy, who lay on his side facing the coffee table. His eyes were half closed. Dan couldn’t exactly hear him, but he was sure that Sammy was purring. Ivy was lying right next to him, her head resting between her paws on the floor. Her tail was wagging absentmindedly. Dan wondered whether it actually had a life of its own.

Dan glanced over to Phil and realized that he was watching the pets as well rather than the movie. His face had the same dopey expression he wore every time he lay his eyes on either Sammy or Ivy. Then Phil sneezed. And that reminded Dan.

“Say, Phil, have you thought about how to find Sammy’s owner?”

Phil flinched. “Not yet.”

Dan gave the side of Phil’s face a stern glance. He could tell that Phil knew he was looking at him but decided to ignore Dan. “And do you plan to make an effort?”

Phil didn’t say anything but pulled his phone put of his pocket. “Where did you say Sara’s looking for a new owner for Ivy?”

“Gumtree and Facebook won’t really help here,” Dan said and sighed. “You do know that we can’t keep him?”

Phil mumbled a ‘yes’ and scrolled through his phone.

“I mean, even if it weren’t for your allergy, we can’t keep a cat that doesn’t belong to us.”

Phil’s lip tightened into a thin line. Dan didn’t say anything. He looked back at the screen and tried to get back into the movie. When was it that Newt managed to catch that rhino-thing?

“We could take a photo and post it on twitter,” Phil said. “And I think we could ask the next animal shelter for help.”

“Isn’t there a notice board at the pet shop?” Dan said, remembering their trip there in the afternoon.

“That’s also an option,” Phil said, still not looking up from his phone. Dan looked back over to him. Phil did seem a little more tense than usual. “But I think twitter is our best option. I mean we don’t know whether his owners actually visit the same pet shop as us.”

“But we also don’t know whether they are on social media. So I guess we should try everything.”

Phil nodded. He was still staring at his phone. Dan sighed.

“Come on, Phil, we do have to say goodbye to both of them eventually.” At that Dan’s heart ached a bit. He didn’t really know how to convey this feeling, or that he understood how Phil felt, so he added clumsily, “I mean your allergy...”

“I hate my allergy.” Phil threw his phone on the coffee table with more force than necessary and sat back on the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the screen in front of him.

Dan didn’t respond. Instead, he looked back at the telly, trying to follow the story again. Of course Phil hated being allergic to cats, but he had never really stressed over it. Everyone hit their breaking point at some point, and Phil’s breaking point was obviously Sammy.

They watched in silence for a while. Dan could literally feel the brooding waves emanating off Phil. He wanted to sigh and tell him that it was silly to stress over it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Instead, Dan gave a little squeak when something heavy landed on his feet. Dan had his feet up on the sofa and whirled around to see Sammy standing there, sniffing around Dan’s feet. He was obviously in search of the perfect napping place.

“Sammy!” Dan said and shooed him away. “Get off the sofa!”

Next to Dan, Phil chuckled. “Oh come on Dan, he’s not doing anything.”

With a glare, Sammy jumped off the sofa and sat down next to Dan’s feet. He continued glaring up at him. Dan glared right back. “No,” he said to Sammy, then addressed Phil, “I don’t want to pick up cat hair from the sofa if he stays for longer. I mean, your allergy...”

“Yes, yes my fucking allergy, can we please stop talking about it?”

Dan’s eyes widened a bit at Phil’s cussing, but he quickly turned around to glare at Phil instead of Sammy. “We can stop talking about it but I think you should take it seriously, damnit.”

“I am taking it seriously! Why can’t you just stop mentioning it?”

“Because I don’t want to see you hospitalized because you choked on some cat hair!”

At that admission Phil’s face split into a grin. “Daw, does Danny actually care for his friend?”

Dan’s cheeks turned pink and he grabbed the nearest cushion, throwing it at Phil. “Shut up.”

Phil caught the cushion and laughed. “Aw, he does!”

Dan leaned back on the sofa and pointedly looked back at the screen. From the corners of his eyes he could see that Phil used the pillow to cushion his head on the wall behind the sofa.

They had settled back into the movie for about two minutes when suddenly Phil gave a squeal. Dan whipped his head around to see Ivy sitting on the small space of empty sofa next to Phil.

“Ivy, no!” Dan said and swished his hand around. “Get off the sofa!”

Phil raised an eyebrow at him. “Come on Dan, it’s not like I’m allergic to her.”

Dan scooped closer to Phil, reached over his lap and shoved at Ivy. She jumped down obediently but remained seated at Phil’s feet. “Maybe you’re not allergic to her, but dogs don’t belong on the sofa.”

“Says who?”

Dan actually had to think for a moment before he responded. “My mum.”

“But she isn’t here and this is our flat.”

Dan sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, but still. Try getting dog hair out of the furniture. Just as hellish as cat hair.”

Phil rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else.

Dan really didn’t know how much of the movie he actually saw. They were nearing the end, that was for sure. Dan felt his eyes go heavy; he had been up for a long time, and he wasn’t used to being out that much. That and the pizza made him sleepy. It had been a long day, really.

It was right when that big bird – Dan just couldn’t remember the name – flew into the sky to release the potion into the air, when Sammy jumped on his lap. This time, he didn’t flinch. Dan looked down at the cat, the challenge clear in the yellow eyes.

“Just leave it, Dan,” Phil said. Dan looked over at him and saw that Ivy had jumped on Phil’s lap. She had curled up on him, her head resting on his right knee. Phil was petting her absentmindedly.

Dan looked back down at Sammy, who was still standing on his lap. “Oh, what the hell,” he said. Sammy immediately plopped down and made himself comfortable.

Dan let his hand stroke over Sammy’s fur. He had always believed that cat’s fur was sort of bristly, but Sammy’s fur was so soft, softer than it looked. It didn’t take long for Sammy to start purring, and this time Dan could hear it clearly.

Sammy’s purrs reverberated through his whole body. Somehow, Dan felt soothed by it.

Just as Newt entered the ship, Dan could hear Phil softly breathe in his sleep; Dan’s eyes fell shut, too, and when the credits rolled, his head had fallen on Phil’s shoulder, and he was fast asleep.

[gorgeousdan]

notdanhowell

summary: Dan has a guilty pleasure: phan blogs. It’s a mixture of conceited arrogance and morbid curiosity, really. And really, it’s a mixture of these two things that lead to him catfishing members of his phandom and becoming a headcanon blog. After all, what harm can one headcanon do? word count: 2318/20,000 warnings (this chapter): anxiety attacks, angsty!dan

LAST CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

The first thing Dan notices when he wakes up is that it’s bright. The bed’s still warm, and there’s a lump where Phil had been. Dan notices Phil isn’t there anymore. He doesn’t have time to question the weirdness of this fact because his stomach growls and he comes to the realization that he hasn’t eaten anything since the last morning and that’s just unacceptable.

He stretches, and for a brief second there’s a moment of bliss where he doesn’t remember what he’s done. And then it all comes back to him as if in a flash of lightning. But he’s too sleepy and hungry to spiral. Still, he doesn’t touch his phone. He throws a glare at it as he walks out of the room for good measure.

He’s never going to fuck up like that again, that’s for sure.

Dan lets his stomach lead him to the kitchen, where his flatmate sits with a box of pizza, munching absently on a piece. Dan sits down next to him, takes one of the pieces and bites into it. Neither of them say anything, but that’s fine. Dan’s actually rather content with sitting there in silence.

Phil speaks anyway. “Do you wanna talk-”

“No,” Dan answers just a bit too loudly and quickly. Phil jumps. “Sorry, sorry,” Dan says. “It’s nothing.” Phil looks like he might protest, so Dan grabs his hand, runs his fingers over Phil’s knuckles. “I’m fine, really.”

Phil sighs. He squeezes Dan’s hand. “Okay,” he says and then he drops Dan’s hand and nods with his head towards the television. “Are you down for finishing that episode of Attack on Titan?”

Dan can tell Phil’s trying to make things normal so he offers his flatmate a thankful smile. “Sounds good.”

So they don’t talk about it. They spend the rest of the day watching anime and lounging about, Dan answers a few work emails, updates his queue, Phil chuckles at something on his dashboard and Dan looks over his shoulder to look. It’s normal. The calm before the storm, if you will.

Phil says he’s going to work on a video and he leaves Dan alone. Alone with Tumblr open and the notifications from notdanhowell staring at him threateningly.

Well. He almost has to now, doesn’t he?

His headcanon has gained more notes, but that’s not what he’s focused on. His ask box is filled with people praising his work and sending other ideas for headcanons and even full-length fics. He’s not going to fill them, of course he’s not, but one ask in particular catches his eye.

Anonymous said:

you’re such a great writer dani. are you going to write more headcanons? - abby

Dan huffs. There are plenty of amazing writers in the phandom, he’s encountered them himself late at night. Why would people care about his stupid cereal headcanon?

notdanhowell said:

no. i’m not a writer, it was a one-off thing, ta.

Dan goes back to reading through most of the headcanon requests. To be fair, most of them are domestic, platonic, nothing particularly horrifying. He starts on some of the more raunchy one, is on a particularly disturbing requests that has to do with ropes and Shrek masks when the anon sends another ask.

Anonymous said:

aw :(. It’s your decision but your hc made me smile. - abby

So that kind of hits Dan hard. He loves making people happy, that’s why he makes videos, that’s why he does everything he does with Phil. He knows people get enjoyment out of these stupid fics and headcanons, that’s why they write them in the first place. And he doesn’t have that many followers. It didn’t get that many notes. Perhaps it was just a freak thing.

What more harm could one more headcanon do?

He finally decides on a prompt from a girl called Amma which isn’t particularly scarring. Apparently she went to TATINOF as well. He almost thanks her before remembering that he’s notdanhowell for a reason.

shrekdanhowell said:

Could I have a headcanon about how D & P watch TV together? Thanks Dani, you’re the best! <3

Dan glances anxiously to either side to make sure Phil’s still filming his video. He can hear his flatmate talking to himself and sighs in relief as he starts typing.

notdanhowell said:

phil’s usually more invested in movies and new episodes of tv shows, so he tends to watch those without a laptop or phone in hand. however, if it’s the news, old episodes of buffy, the great british bakeoff or something he’s seen before, he tends to sit on twitter with his laptop. he laughs at things and occasionally shows dan.

dan, however, is quite guilty for being on his phone no matter what he’s watching. he blames the information age and millennials in general, but his attention can’t be captivated simply by a tv show or movie, even if it is new. this annoys the shit out of phil.

“Hey.”

Dan nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Dan yells. He turns and sees Phil standing behind him. “Give a guy some warning next time. Jesus.”

Phil giggles. “Sorry,” he says, but Dan can tell he’s not really sorry. He leans his elbows on Dan’s shoulders. “Watcha looking at?”

Dan presses post as fast as lightning and is somehow on the Google homepage by the time Phil looks. “Erm,” he says, because he realizes just a second too late that it might seem really fucking weird that he’s on the Google homepage. “Just googling,” he says, and gives a little unconvincing look.

Phil buys into it, though. “Cool!” He says, then asks, “watcha googling?”

Dan says the first thing that pops into his head, which is, for some reason, “how do mermaids reproduce?” When Phil raises an eyebrow in question, Dan rushes to explain. “Just like,” he starts unhelpfully. “Like, they’re top half human and bottom half fish, you know? So I’m thinking they can’t just,” he trails off.

Phil chuckles. “You’re a weird guy, Dan Howell,” he says. “Why am I even friends with you?”

Dan sighs with relief. “You’re also a weird guy, Phil.” Phil just smiles, but doesn’t say anything in reply so Dan figures he’s kind of in the clear. “Anyway, did you need me? Because I thought you were supposed to be filming a video, not scaring the shit out of your best friend when he’s trying to research the validity of mermaid birthings.”

“I did, actually,” Phil answers. “I wanted to know if I could use one of your jackets? I need to play a soulless character and-”

Dan laughs, “Say no more,” he answers. “Mi closet es tu closet.” He leans back against his hands. “You should wear black more often. It looks good on you.” Jesus Christ, he’s becoming as bad as the shippers.

Phil, thankfully, doesn’t catch onto it. “Unlike you, I have a soul, Daniel James Howell.” With that, he walks off to Dan’s room with a quick, “thanks!” thrown over his shoulder. Dan waits until he hears Phil leave his room and walk into his room with the door shut behind him and he turns back to his laptop.

He can’t afford to have close calls like that.

-

Phil’s video ends and Dan nods approvingly. “It’s very good,” he says. “I don’t think I have any constructive criticism in me for amazingphil videos, though, as a recovering fangirl myself,” he jokes. He knows why Phil does it, though. They’re always the first to watch each other’s videos. It’s become habit.

“I should send you to fangirl anonymous,” Phil jokes with his tongue in between his teeth. He presses post on his video and watches the horrendous upload time. He leans back in his chair and turns to Dan. “All done. Another successful amazingphil video.”

Dan chuckles, “yeah, don’t rub it in,” he replies. “I think the next time a danisnotonfire video is posted it’ll have to be called My Awkward Experience When Hell Froze Over.”

“Catchy,” Phil replies. Then, as if he’s just remembered, “oh, I should turn off Twitter notifications.” He reaches for his phone and logs into the Twitter app.

Dan huffs. He’s already on Twitter, scrolling through his replies. He knows there will be a shit-ton when Phil uploads, but that’s why he keeps his turned off. “I don’t see why you have them on in the first place,” he muses. “You know they’re gonna blow up your replies.”

“I like to see what they’re saying about me,” Phil says. “You should know, Mr. Daniel ‘googles himself for approval’ Howell.” Phil’s remark has no bite to it, though, and Dan knows he doesn’t mean it.

“Rude as fuck,” Dan replies under his breath as he continues to scroll through Twitter. ‘Dan and Phil’s secrets leaked! Click here to view now!’ says a sketchy account with a photo of Phil as the avi. Dan scoffs. Yeah right.c

“Anyway,” Phil muses. Dan looks up from Twitter to look at his best friend. “You’re not much better with your Tumblr notifications.”

Dan feels his blood run cold, but he tries not to let it show on his face. “What do you mean?” he asks instead.

Phil laughs. “Don’t play coy,” he answers. He leans back in his chair so that he can smile up at Dan. “I saw them just yesterday, running across your phone. There must’ve been, like, at least thirty.”

But the thing is, Dan had turned notifications off on Tumblr. For danisnotonfire he had, at least. They had gotten too annoying, it was the same reason he had turned them off on Twitter. But he had never remembered to turn them off for notdanhowell. Meaning Phil had seen those notifications.

Phil must sense that Dan’s spiraling against because he laughs and says, “relax. I didn’t read any of them.” He turns back to his Twitter notifications. “Don’t reckon I would want to know what kind of weird things you get up to on Tumblr, anyway.” Phil looks up from hs phone and gives Dan Concerned Flatmate Look 7™. “Or do I?”

Dan tries to laugh it off. “Just the odd meme or miscellaneous bruise, Phil. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Phil nods. “Right,” he says, and Dan can tell he doesn’t buy it but Phil’s kind of a great flatmate like that and knows when to pick his battles. “Anyway, do you think I should move this clip here?”

-

Dan’s fingers drum against the keyboard of his laptop. It’s late but he can’t sleep, a strange mixture of guilt and curiosity thumping through his veins. He’s on another phanfiction writer’s blog, this time it’s someone named Seb, apparently, who has a photo of Dan smiling as their sidebar photo.

Dan’s fingers drum against the keyboard where he’s pulled up Seb’s ask box. He’s on anon, of course, and he’s written out a message. Fully awake, this would probably be a terrible idea. But he’s half asleep and has a strange mixture of guilt and curiosity so he presses send anyway.

Anonymous said:

what if dan fucked up really bad? what do you think phil would do?

Dan goes back to his dashboard, queues some things for danisnotonfire as he waits for Seb to respond. He refuses to spend the whole time obsessively pressing refresh, but he’s honestly kind of tempted.

Seb, however, responds quickly enough.

theaterkidlester said:

Hey!

Hm, interesting question! I think it would depend on what Dan did, tbh! (And I don’t speculate about rl Dan and Phil anyway, lmao.)

I guess we’ll never know rip

Dan scoffs. The one time a fan speculating about his personal, private life could have actually been helpful. He goes back to Seb’s ask, types out another response.

Anonymous said:

yeah but, like, what do you think would happen? isn’t that the point of fanfiction, anyway? Speculating?

Seb responds more quickly this time. Dan figures he’s probably on Tumblr now as well.

theaterkidlester said:

First off, the point of fanfiction is to have fun and share your writing with other people with similar interests and experiences, not to force your views onto two men who probably don’t even know you exist, lmao.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s much Dan could do that Phil would consider too fucked up.

Dan reads the response and finds himself kind of pissed off. Who is this person? The reason fanfiction was so fucked up in the first place was that it made assumptions about his and Phil’s lives, about their sexuality. Who were they to consider themselves, what had they written in the tags, a respectful shipper? Wasn’t that a bit of a misnomer?

well, he begins typing, what if dan did something really, really fucked up that he knew that dan knew phil would hate him for? and phil didn’t know about it but if he did he would think dan was a freak? and what if it was really fucking dan up because phil’s the person he trusts with everything and-

Dan realizes he’s stopped typing because he’s shaking and his eyes are blurring over with tears. God, he thinks, he’s so pathetic, crying over a stupid headcanon to a stupid fanfiction blog with a stupid sixteen year old that he was just trying to help out when he made notdanhowell.

Dan slams his macbook shut and brings the heels of his hands to his eyes. He tries to wipe some of the tears away, tries to convince himself that it’s stupid to cry, but that just makes him cry harder until he’s leaning his head against his knees and he’s hysterical. He’s hysterically crying over a headcanon. Gosh, it really must be late.

Dead tired, Dan gets under hs duvet, rubs his nose with the back of his hand, curls up into a pillow and cries himself to sleep.

God. How incredibly stupid.

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Sup kiddos guess who’s wildly behind on his nano project if you’ve guessed me you would be correcto.

This chapter features a follower named Abby, the awesome @shrekdanhowell and myself, because I didn’t want Dan to fight with any of you.

if you would like to be written into a chapter pls apply here thanks.

boop boop love you have an awesome day drink water

-seb

[silenceisbetterthanbs]

…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…

Tagged by the lovely @youngkpoppin <3 thanks!

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20ppl…

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water. 2. Phone call: A friend called me just now. 3. Text message: The accountant who is dealing with my taxes. 4. Song you listened to: Can’t remember. Does my ringtone count? If so, ‘Wake me up’ by B.A.P. 5. Time you cried: Last night while I was watching snippets of Produce 101. 6. Dated someone twice: It’s been a while since the last time I dated someone, about 3 years I’d say. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: When I was a teenager. I learned my lesson. 8. Been cheated on: Never. 9. Lost someone special: I’ve lost friends who I considered special but turned out to be backstabbing liars, so they don’t deserve to be included in this category. I’m going to say never. 10. Been depressed: It’s been years. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never done that, I don’t drink alcohol.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Black, red, purple.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes. 16. Fallen out of love: No. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No. 19. Met someone who changed you: Kinda. 20. Found out who your friends are: Not really. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the lips? No.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. 23. Do you have any pets: Yes, an evil cat called Hannibal. 24. Do you want to change your name: No. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My former flatmates baked me a cake and treated me to lunch at my favorite restaurant. Good times! 26. What time did you wake up: 8AM. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching American Horror Story. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I’m going to this Korean festival in London next month where I’ll finally see Highlight live! And KNK, EXID and Snuper too :) and I’m going to try to get tickets to see Monsta X in August so I’m also looking forward to that. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: About 3 weeks ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Nothing, everything is pretty balanced out right now. 31. What are you listening right now: Some kids screaming outside in the street. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Does Tomás count? In that case, yes. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Human stupidity. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, Instagram, Archive of Our Own. 35. Elementary: Done. 36. High School: Done. 37. College: Done. 38. Haircolor: I’m naturally blonde but I’ve been dyeing my hair black for like 15 years and I’m not planning on stopping anytime soon. 39. Long or short hair: I cut my hair last week, it’s shoulder-length now. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: No. 41. What do you like about yourself: The whole package. 42. Piercings: I have a lip right, a bridge and Helix piercings. 43. Bloodtype: O+ 44. Nickname: People call me by my name. 45. Relationship status: Happily single. 47. Pronouns: She/her. 48. Favorite TV Show: Hannibal, Shameless US, Bands of Brothers. 49. Tattoos: None. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: Only to get my wisdom teeth out. 52. Piercing: Already answered. 53. Sport: LMAO. I work out but no sports. 55. Vacation: I’m going to Berlin in August to (hopefully) see Monsta X so I’ll just take some days off and make the most out of it. If we’re talking about dream vacation, then Korea and Japan. Never been but I’d like to go to Korea next year.  56. Pair of trainers: Converse.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: It’s one of my favorite things in the whole universe. 58. Drinking: I don’t drink alcohol but I love water, coffee and smoothies. 59. I’m about to: Go to make lunch. 61. Waiting for: Nothing in particular. 62. Want: Right now? Food in my system lol. 63. Get married: Nope. 64. Career: I work in communications, PR and marketing, and I quite enjoy it most of the times.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!!!! 66. Lips or eyes: Both. 67. Shorter or taller: Taller. 68. Older or younger: As long as they’re mature either one is fine. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: None? I’m not picky with that kind of stuff. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: Sadly, yes, several times. Not my proudest moments. 75. Drank hard liquor: No. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No. 77. Turned someone down: Yes. 78. Sex in the first date: No. 79. Broken someones heart: Yeah... 80. Had your heart broken: No. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Yes. 85. Miracles: Not really. 86. Love at first sight: No. 87. Santa Claus: Hahahahaha. 88. Kiss in the first date: Maybe. 89. Angels: No.

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I’m don’t do best friends. All my friends are special and equally important to me. 91. Eye color: Brown. 92. Favorite movie: I don’t really watch movies, I’m more of a TV show kind of person, but I guess ‘Inception’.

I can’t think of that many people, 99,9% of my mutuals don’t do these games so I’m just going with: @suju-bangtan, @day21-97 and @redheadkitty11 :)