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#Just cause I think this week deserves to end with a bit of a bang
solenstelluna · 4 months
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@heropartnerweek Day 7 is here, and since it's a free day I thought it'd be fun to draw Mace and Suzy in a picture I took of the theater I work at! This has been a pretty fun week for me, and I look forward to hopefully doing this again next year!
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zgmoony · 6 months
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When I also remember that c!Tommy was liked better when he was suffering because he was quieter and more aware of things,
That despite the amount of shit c!Tommy went through most people though of it as ok because he was easier to handle.
Aaaoough……c!Tommy deserves to be able to kill I swear….
Anyway ima just give you aaaaaa little thing of how c!Tommy started living with c!bee and how he eventually joins their Qpr:3 (this is very canon 1000%)
I think not long after the prison after Tommy was revived c!bee came to his house and after a lot of talking like a LOT (you know reconnecting talking about stuff all that) c!bee managed to convince c!Tommy to stay with them and they set up a very very nice room for him!!! First couple weeks is a struggle and Tommy is trying not to be a burden around the house he’s cooking cleaning doing all of that but c!bee are trying to get him to relax a little they want him to be ok
Tommy starts getting used to living with c!bee and eventually they become even more physically affectionate with him and also bed sharing (like they start giving him kisses letting him give them little kisses and just very soft!!!)
Tommy is out at his old house when he finds shroud and brings him home!!! (I can’t remember if he got shroud before or after prison break)
The prison break happens and Ranboo gets injured but manages to teleport home and that causes a LOTTA PANIC he gets stitched up and Tommy goes out to exile to get the ax and gets chased by c!dream but c!Tubbo shows up after he had banged up and put c!Ran to bed and he manages to get c!Tommy home via picking him up just running for it
Couple months pass and they have fortified all of snow Chester and put up warning posters for all the citizens in snow Chester c!Tommy has slowly started to panic a bit less and he’s feeling a bit alright again
Then there’s the final show down I think:3 c!bench stop by las Nevadas to see how the search for c!dream is going
C!Dream shows up there’s a fight I don’t really wanna get into alll the details I’m lazy but long story short c!prime face off and c!Tommy kills c!dream woooo!!!
Then a month after the battle once c!Tommy is feeling alright again after everything they basically take Tommy to a flower field and propose to him:] and then there’s a wedding the end<3
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imabillyami · 6 months
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Hiii mate 😁
Juuust wonderin.. What are three things you loved about wrestlemania weekend and two things you hated about it??
(as always no pressure to respond) 😊
Ta 🐨
Hi friend!
(I’ll be responding to your other message shortly, I completely forgot about it amidst the hustle and bustle of Mania week.)
So, three things I loved:
Everything Sami - his little interview on the kickoff show, the segment before his match with his family, Gable and Kevin, his entire match, BRAINBUSTAAAA (his mentor's indie run means the world to me, I loved seeing him pay homage to the late great Generico), his title win & celebration, the lil segment before Kevin’s entrance, him celebrating with Cody (& Samijey crumbs). I’ve been on this journey with Sami since the day he made his first TV appearance on NXT in 2013 and seeing him so happy and content and finally appreciated just means the entire world to me. Anyone who suffered through the dark days with him will understand, I think. So yeah. Just. Sami. Always.
The women’s matches. The Big Three vs Damage Ctrl match was entirely too short, but it meant the whole world to me. Bayley and Iyo putting on an instant classic, Rhea and Becky fighting through sickness and panic attacks and just kicking ass and delivering a banger. The women’s division shone so bright this weekend and I hope they’ll be given more chances to shine. (This is me asking for a midcard women’s title and more women’s matches in general.)
Tonight’s main event. It was everything I wanted. Well, initially I wanted Roman to win, but I understand why he didn’t. I’m a lot more relaxed about it now that it’s confirmed he’s not leaving. Anyway. I said in a post yesterday that I wanted it to be this ridiculous over the top match to end all matches. Cause I wanted Cody to fight for his life and I wanted Roman to go out with a bang. And boyyy did they deliver. I loved everything about it, seriously. I was entertained the whole damn time, I loved all the spots and the people who showed up and how Roman and Cody still got to shine. I’ll never be a Cody fan, that’s just a fact of life, but I can appreciate the chemistry they had in the ring and the sportsmanship he’s shown. So yeah, I loved it exactly as it was. And the ending made my little Shield-loving heart beat faster. I'll forever love these boys and their era. So Seth essentially costing Roman again? God I'm LIVING for that. (+ I loved the ending with the roster coming out to celebrate.)
(Honorary mention: I love how much fun everyone seems to be having lately. I know they talk a lot about how backstage morale is at an all time high these days and how they’re all working as a team to the point it barely feels like work, but this weekend I truly felt it. I had been taking a bit of a break from the weekly watching, despite being a loyal fan for almost 20 years, but this weekend truly reeled me back in and convinced me to give this new era a chance. I’m not doing well with change, it overwhelms me more often than not, but I feel like this weekend was a good start to shake the fears off and return to the product I love so much.)
As for the two things I "hated". I’m not really one to "hate" things. But I do have one thing/person I HATE soooo here we go:
Logan. I don’t think I have to explain that one any further. He’s the definition of human piece of trash. Anyone wondering why can look up my old posts about him. I don’t think a person like that deserves any platform whatsoever, no matter how many eyeballs he brings to the product. He belongs in jail and I’ll die on that hill.
I didn’t really „hate“ it - it was more a matter of being extremely saddened by it: The Usos getting so little time and a joke of a match. The buildup was so damn weak from what I’ve seen these past few weeks, the video packages and interviews really got me hyped again, but the shortness of the match and the match itself were a massive letdown. For what was supposed to be their dream match, I hate that they got done dirty like this. It wasn’t their fault, not in the slightest. I completely blame backstage politics and the production team. Honestly their spot in tonight’s match showed what they’re willing to do/ capable of, so I’m hoping they’ll get a proper feud leading up to Summerslam. With a proper build not overshadowed by anyone else, a fitting stipulation (anything goes, no dq?) and some proper time actually allotted to this match? I KNOW they can make pure magic. So yeah. That’s more sadness and disappointment on their behalf. Cause they deserved better.
Anyway. What about you? What did you love/hate about Wrestlemania weekend? I’d love to read your thoughts! 
Hugs to you!
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; good enough
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© @pedropcl
lee bodecker x fem!reader.
summary. your father invited you to his birthday party and things ended badly.
words. about 2.3k.
warnings, tags. nsfw, +18!!! drunk state, language, unprotected sex, daddy!kink, very brief degradation, mention of bodily fluids, very brief mention of violence. and i think that's all.
a / n. first time writing for this man that has me obsessed, so i hope y'all like it! none of my writings contains reader's body descriptions to be inclusive. if you find something out of place, please send me a message and i'll change it.
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You didn't want to be there, but it was your father's birthday and you couldn't miss it. More than thirty minutes had passed since the last time you saw your husband standing in a corner of the large living room, sipping from his glass of whisky and judging every guest around in silence. Lee hated your parents, your family, their friends. And you didn't blame him. Your family never accepted him, always repeating that he wasn't good enough for you, nor your interests. Except for your mom. She wasn't the only one who didn't treat him like dirt.
Once that you escaped from your father's arms, showing you as a trophy and trying to set you up on a date with one of his best friend's sons, you stepped out of the house to the back garden. It was cold outside, having to close your jacket around your chest as you closed both arms over it. Following the footprints on the grass, you reached the improvised parking where different cars were stationed. The smoke coming from nowhere called your attention, glimpsing Lee sitting on the hood of his black Ford. Cigarette in his left hand and bottle of whisky in his right.
You doubted for a second to interrupt his moment of peace for the first time in two weeks. Two long weeks where you barely had spent time together. He started holding over his shifts because, apparently, there was too much paperwork to attend. You couldn't help but think that he was raving mad about you, or about something you did unconsciously. But the real problem was that your husband never used to talk about his feelings or what was going in his mind.
“I think you've drunk enough”. You uttered watching him raise the bottle to his lips.
Lee chuckled ironically, shaking his head. “Lucky me I don' care”.
Frowning and with your mouth pressed closed, you walked towards his position to face him. He had never talked to you like that, but he was being honest, shrugging his shoulders to point it out a little more.
“I do. I do care”.
“Don' worry, darlin'. I ain't gonna shame you in front of your family”. He scoffed bitterly, finally sipping from his drink. “Watya' doin' here anyway? Party's indoors”.
“You're here tho”.
“And who fuckin' cares, uh? You were having so much fun inside with that… pretty boy who works in Wall Street”. Your husband mocked taking a drag from his cigarette. “We should divorce, don' you think? So you coulda go with him to the big city, and don' be stuck in… How d'your father call it? Knockemshit. Stuck with a… fat sheriff of a shitty town”.
Lee didn't notice the tears blurring your gaze till he raised his face. The bitter smile curving his lips suddenly disappeared, putting his pale blue eyes away from you because it was too painful for him to watch you cry. Your husband gulped hardly, kissing his teeth as he threw the cigar somewhere on the ground. You couldn't believe he really wanted to divorce you, wrapping your heart with a suffocating sorrow that barely let you breathe. He was your life and, after three years together, he seemed to not give a shit about it sometimes.
“I ain' like them”. You whispered sniffing.
“Tha' doesn' change the fact that you don' deserve a man like me. Your father is right. 'M a fucking loser compared to anyone inside his damn house”.
You loved Lee with all your heart, soul, mind, body. He was everything you want in your existence —your life. So damn obsessed with his touch, his kisses, his smell of wind and leather, his smile, that beautiful pair of pale blue eyes. You refused to believe he was talking seriously.
“You should be there. I— Imma go home, tell your mo—”.
Before your husband could finish his goodbye, you interrupted him by slapping his face. He didn't see that coming and you'd never imagine yourself hitting him. But you needed it, seeming the only way to stop him from abandoning you there. He kept his face away from you, trying to comprehend what had just happened. His drunkenness suddenly disappeared, pressing his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue whilst rubbing his hand over the reddened skin. You were so mad right now that you could set on fire the whole world.
And you were about to do it a second time when Lee caught your wrist in the air, painfully gripping his fingers around it to push you closer —chest against chest. Then, he raised his index finger. “Don' you fuckin' dare to try it again, y'hear me?”
You were furiously breathing, but not filling your lungs with air in reality, keeping your eyes on the blue ones that used to steal your heart every single day. It was like a contest of dominance you knew he always won. Any time.
Your husband didn't give you the chance to say sorry, slamming his lips on yours. A moan died in his tongue when it invaded your cavity while releasing your arm to fly his rough big hands to your ass, almost grabbing it all with his long fingers. Your digits went to the lapels of his leather jacket, not lasting too much there till finishing on the back of his head.
Lee was hungry for you, just like you were for him after two long weeks barely touching each other. Your husband devoured, sucked, and bit your lips, urging you to turn around enough to push you on top of the hood of his car. His hands pulled up the skirt of your dress, wanting to reach the waistband of your panties, receiving the great surprise that you weren't wearing any.
“You little dirty girl… Don' wantin' your Sheriff to lose time, uh?” He grunted with such an animal and eager tone, as he took care of the belt and the zip of his pants.
“I need you”. You sobbed against his lips, feeling his hands maneuvering between your legs.
At least, you were fast enough to cover your mouth with a hand when Lee rammed his rock dick into your soaked cunt, drowning in your palm a loud cry of pure satisfaction for being filled by your husband. Back and forth, he hit your body once and once, impaling you against the Ford still being furious by the way your father and friends treated him as if it was your fault. Lee was mad, really mad, digging his fingers in your hips to pin you on place and don't move, continuing fucking you harder and harder —challenging you to not be able to be quiet and make everybody heard how good he used to made you feel.
“Goddammit… you're so damn ti— tight, baby doll… So tight fo— for your daddy, ain' ya?”
“Yes… Yes, daddy”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck.
His strong scent filling your lungs caused you to roll your eyes white, letting your soul leave your body while his cock attacked fiercely your pussy with no mercy. Your vocals were in sync with the screeching noise the car produced in every thrust straight to your guts. The pace was insane, intense than never before, and more pleasurable than you could imagine in your life.
Lee was aware how much you loved him, that you felt devotion for him. But sometimes —sometimes like those— he couldn't help but think he could lose you as soon as you realized who he was in reality. You didn't care. You weren't blind. You knew about his dirty laundry, his past, his sister (...). And you still wanted him with all your heart and body.
“Fu— Fuck, gonna put a… baby inside you”. He growled, wrapping his right around your throat to urge you to face him. “Y'want it, uh? D'you want dad— daddy to put a baby in that… beautiful belly?”
“Yes… please, Lee”. You whined with teary eyes, being too much pleasure for your body to handle. “Please, daddy… I wa— want you to… get me pre— pregnant with your child”.
Your husband's lips curved up in a petty smirk, pulling out from your dripping cunt, causing you to sob in disappointment. Lee managed to put you down on your shaky feet to turn you and force you to bend over the hood of his car. Ass upped, legs spread. He only took a second to stare at your glistening and abused folds in your arousal, prior to impaling you again. With a hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your head, your husband obligated you to arch your back as he continued banging your anatomy once and again.
At this point, you had forgotten your name, where you are, and if someone could hear how you cried pleased any time he crashed against your g-spot. It was a mix of pleasure and pain as Lee wasn't having any kind of compassion with your cunt, clenching unconsciously around his hard length. He knew then how close you were to cumming for him —because of him—, increasing the pace while you tried to find a place to put your hands on and find some balance to stay in place. As soon as the hand tangled in your hair landed back to your throat, you gripped five fingers around his wrist, enjoying the brief lack of air because of it.
“C'mon, my swe— sweet whore… Y'wanna cum for daddy, don't ya?”
His raspy and wrecked voice fell into your ear like an angelic melody, not being able to hold your moans anymore within your mouth. The knot inside your lower belly was bigger and bigger and suffocating, feeling how it could explode at any time. Lee shoved his cock non-stopping producing a sloppy obscene sound when his pelvis crashed against your ass, along the chink of his belt against the back of your thigh.
“Daddy… Daddy…” You called him while the tears started to fall again through your cheeks, this time, of absolute satisfaction.
You couldn't help but bite your lip strongly till the metallic taste of blood covered your tongue, letting yourself go as the knot bursted within your belly. The orgasm threw you above the edge with your husband's palm covering your mouth to not be heard or it would be really awkward to be caught by all the guests, even if he didn't care. He wouldn't mind showing that pretty boy from New York that nobody could fuck his little dirty girl better than himself. Oh, how funny it would be to see his face while your husband was ramming his cock into your abused pussy, cumming inside your tight walls, digging his teeth in your neck to mark his territory.
Lee came with a sensual and passionate hoarse gasp causing you goosebumps bristling your skin, burying himself balls deep to hold it inside the mix of your juices filling up your center. It felt like being in Heaven, although you weren't sure if you could walk after such an intense quickly, feeling your walls burning as his dick still twitching and stretching your cunt.
Your husband wasn't a man of kisses after sex, that's why he surprised you when tilted your face to his and pressed his lips on yours, panting, not caring about the lack of breath. It wasn't a lustful kiss either, more than a tender and fondly one, tasting your mouth, playing with your tongue.
Pulling out his semi-erection, Lee helped you to clean yourself with a tissue before using it to clean your arousal on him and toss it to the ground. As he put on his pants, you fixed your dress and your hair, turning around.
“You meant it?” You dared to ask, still having sorrow covering your voice. “Gettin' divorced… You mean it?”
“What?” He inquired, squinting confusedly until he realized what you were talking about. He chuckled holding your chin with two fingers. “You married me, darlin'. There's no other way you're gonna spend your life but with me. Willingly or not, you hear me?”
Lee raised both eyebrows very sure of his word before you nodded your head with a fleeting smile crossing your lips.
“Can we go home now…?”
“'S that what you want?”
You nodded your head a second time, while your husband placed his arms around you with hidden possessiveness to guide you back to your childhood's house. And of course, your father was enraged when you told him that you were leaving with your husband. He yelled at you and nobody tried to stop him till the moment he had the brilliant idea of pretending to lay a hand on you.
Lee punched him. Lee broke his nose. Lee made your father fall to the floor between the pretty boy's arms. And Lee never felt better in his whole damn life.
“Don't you ever come back to this house, if you leave now with this… bastard”.
“She doesn' need you”. Your husband cooed wrapping your neck with an arm, leaning slightly to borrow your purse. “Ma'am, my pleasure a see ya' again. The beef was delicious. G'night”.
You were yet processing what just happened, ashamed of the desire for your husband himself awakened inside you after watching him hitting your father. Lee could be a total asshole sometimes but one thing was undeniable: he loved you with all his heart and soul, he was obsessed with you since the very first time his oceanic eyes contemplated you walking down the street, smelling a bucket of roses you bought for yourself.
Never again you knew anything about your family. Not even when your son, called after your husband, was born. But you weren't sad. As Lee said, you didn't need them. You had your own family to take care of.
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plsimsuchasimp · 4 years
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cheating.
part 2 here
Ft: Suna Rintarou x !gn reader, a little bit of atsumu miya x !gn reader
Genre/warnings: one (1) curse word, cheating, brief implied sex, angst, hurt/comfort, fighting
Wc: 1.8k
NOT PROOFREAD!
a/n: i’m so sorry for this angst but i had to do it for y’all... didn’t have it in me to write a happy ending, maybe later.
The rain was pouring down, clattering against the roof of the gym. You, sitting against the wall in a corner by the benches, watched Suna’s team play, smiling slightly at the way they seemed to seamlessly move together. Your boyfriend looked concentrated, green eyes flickering from one player to another. 
His phone buzzed beside you, and you picked it up, intending to set it to Do Not Disturb so you could do work, but the notification caught your eye. 
“Hey!” It read, “it was so good to meet you >;) you made me feel good <3″
Instantly, your heart drops into your stomach. Silently willing for the notification to disappear, your eyes cling to the screen as yet another popped up. “I miss you babe, we should do that again”
Your eyes begin to burn, trying to deny the obvious truth of what you saw in front of you. Suna Rintarou had cheated on you, and from the looks of it, with a stranger. You swallow, hard, as the lump in your throat grows and tears begin to form in your eyes. No wonder he’d been overly affectionate in the past week, he probably felt guilty.
What hurt most wasn’t that he didn’t tell you, pretended that everything was fine; no, it was the realization that you just weren’t enough for him. All the time you’d spent on him, everything you’d done, the words of confirmation and the countless amount of love and affection you’d given him, it all wasn’t good enough. 
You were bad enough for him to seek loving in a stranger’s arms.
Clicking the phone off, you put it down and stared into space for a moment, fighting the tears that threatened to spill onto your cheeks at any second. Practice was wrapping up, and you couldn’t face Suna right now. Luckily for you, he was on cleanup duty this week, so he had to stay late. 
Trying to shake the rigidity out of your limbs, you gathered your things and stuffed them into your bag, not taking the time to organize them so they all fit. Head down, you headed for the door, hoping that Suna wouldn’t look over. Opening the door, you were faced with another harsh realization: It was raining and Suna was supposed to drive you home. That wasn’t happening today, for sure. Glancing around, you spotted Atsumu pulling his umbrella out of his bag, and rushed over to him.
“Hey Atsumu,” you said, attempting to keep your voice steady, “Can I catch a ride with you?” He was going to ask why, when Suna had a perfectly good car, but then he caught a glimpse of the tear streaking silently down your face and decided it might be better to wait until later.
Unusually serious, he agreed and put a comforting hand on the small of your back as you two hurried out of the door under his umbrella. Opening his car door for you, he let you in and then went over to the driver’s side, sliding in and turning on the car so it would warm up. 
Stealing the occasional look at you, he noticed you were shaking and turned up the heat in the car although he was warm from volleyball practice. He started driving, sensing that you didn’t want to talk. Jaw clenched, he drove in silence for a couple minutes, then dared to speak.
“Hey, are you okay?” Hearing sniffles from your side of the car and seeing your shoulders shake, he pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park. Gulping, he awkwardly reached out a hand to pat you on the back, but this only made you cry harder.
Looking up to face him, tear streaks staining your cheeks, you tried to stop shivering from shock. “S-Suna,” you mumbled, fighting to keep your voice from completely breaking, but another sob escaped before you could get anything more out.
“Wha’? Suna what?” he prodded, brow furrowing in concern. You rarely cried, so he knew this was something really serious.
“Suna c-cheated on me.” The last couple of words were whispered, your voice breaking, and Atsumu’s mouth dropped open. Of all the things he’d expected to hear, it wasn’t that. Your relationship with Suna had always seemed perfect. He’d seen the way Suna looked at you, his eyes soft, seen the way his behavior changed around you, seen his eyes light up whenever you smiled. This wasn’t possible.
He opened his mouth, shutting it again when words failed him. You were hunched in the passenger’s seat, shaking so hard he could hear your elbows accidentally hitting the car door. Without a second thought, he took his sweatshirt off and covered you with it, hoping that it would warm you up at least a little bit. 
“I- I’m so sorry,” he muttered, unsure how to comfort a clearly distraught you. As soon as your shudders subsided, his mind turned to Suna and what he would do next time he saw him. No doubt he deserved to be beat up for what he did to you, hurting you like that, but it just didn’t make sense. Suna was totally in love with you, and it was obvious to any outsider. 
He started the car again, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your shoulder, trying to calm you down. “Y/N, I’m gonna drop ya off at home, okay?”
A quick nod from you reassured him, and you two drove with just the raindrops crashing down on the roof of the car. When you arrived at your house, you made a motion to give back his sweatshirt, but he just waved a hand and said “Don’t worry about it. Ya can return it to me when I next see ya.” Your lips trembled and you turned away from him, making the way to your door and letting yourself in. He didn’t leave until he saw that you were inside, then started driving back to the gym.
You shed your jacket and turned on the heater in your house, not bothering to turn on the lights or draw the curtains. Kicking your shoes off, you crawled into bed and under your blanket and let the tears come, hugging the pillow that smelled too much like Suna.
Meanwhile at the gym, Suna was just finishing up and wondering where you’d gone to. The guilt of his mistake still hung with him, and he was looking to take you out to dinner tonight and spend some more time with you. However, when he saw his phone laying faceup, the bold words in text still plainly on the screen, he knew that you’d found out, and his heart contracted. Sinking to his knees, he struggled to breathe through the upcoming panic. He was in love with you, and he had no idea what had possessed him to fall into someone else’s arms for the night.
The feeling surged when he remembered that one of your biggest fears/insecurities was not being good enough, and a short gasp fell out of his mouth as he realized just how much he’d messed up. The gym door swung open, banging against the wall with the sheer force of the push. There stood Miya Atsumu, a murderous expression on his face.
“Suna!” He barked, and the middle blocker glanced up briefly before returning his attention to the phone clutched in his hands, frantically pressing the call button as it once again went straight to voicemail. The sound of your voice was almost too much for him to bear, his breathing accelerating and his head pounding. 
y/n please pick up please i’m so sorry i swear i didn’t mean it they mean nothing to me i love you i love you so much please don’t leave me
His fingers speed across the keyboard, hoping against hope that you’ll talk to him. Any sort of contact. The phone is suddenly knocked from his hand by Atsumu, the look on his face nothing short of furious. 
“What the fuck were ya thinking?” He spits, rage evident in the bulging veins of his neck. “You hurt y/n so badly that they had to drive home with me rather than face another second of ya.”
His words stung Suna, because they both knew they were true. He doesn’t resist when Atsumu pulls him to his feet, glaring at him and shoving him towards the wall. 
“You’re pathetic. Y/N is the best person ya will ever meet, and ya ruined it all.” Once again, Suna doesn’t reciprocate, his eyes falling miserably to the ground. Atsumu’s fist comes up and hits Suna straight in the stomach, forcing the breath out of his lungs as he collapses to the floor. Atsumu looks at him with an expression of pure disgust, walking away to leave Suna where he is, slumped against the wall.
His eyes are dull, the life drained out of them, because he knows Atsumu is right. A notification causes his phone to buzz and he picks it up immediately, hoping to see anything from you, but it’s just another text from the fling. Hatred for himself and the person fills him, and he slams his phone down, allowing his head to sink into his knees. 
He needs to see you, so he grabs his stuff and rushes to his car, barely remembering to lock the gym on his way out. Going ten miles above the speed limit, he makes it to your house ten minutes after you had. 
Walking up to your front door, he knocks urgently, over and over again. He hears shuffling from behind, and the door opens to reveal you in an oversize sweatshirt that doesn’t belong to him and sweatpants, eyes red and puffy from crying. 
The instant you see him, time seems to stop. The hurt is written all over your face, and the regret all over his. He can’t seem to move, can’t do anything besides whisper your name.
“Y/N.” 
You shake your head, new tears forming in the corners of your eyes, and turn away. “I don’t want to talk to you, Suna.” 
With those words, his heart shatters a little bit more. He was your Rin, your Rinnie, never Suna. “Please-” the door slams in his face and he hears the lock turning, signaling the final goodbye. He screams, pounding on your door as the panic overtakes him. 
“Please! I love you! I’m so sorry, just please don’t leave me! I’ll go insane if you do!” Tears stream down his face and yours, mourning each other on opposite sides of the door. His words wrack you, tempt you to open the door and forgive him, but you can’t. He already showed you he didn’t care.
Half an hour passes, with the yells from the door fading into whimpers. Finally, you hear a car door slam, and you allow yourself to sob, held immobile on the floor. 
You’re broken, and it’s his fault. His head falls onto the steering wheel, not caring that it sets off the car horn.
Still, the rain patters on the roof, both of you less than three hundred feet apart, but forever separated.
He’ll never love anyone like he loved you.
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Companions React: Sole Breaks Down
Request: “Could I ask for companions comforting a sole that’s usually an emotional rock, that they hadn’t seen this vulnerable ever? Like they come back from being away and just crumble into a sobbing mess. Pretty please?”
Note: *bangs spoon against pot* come get the hurt/comfort. CW: Mentions of unnamed characters deaths.
The setting:
Upon Preston’s request, Sole took off to a distant settlement to reorganize their resources, set up defenses, and bring them into the trade route. These excursions usually took about a week or two, so Sole could make sure they were fully stable before returning to Sanctuary to attend to their other duties. With this trip, however, they requested their companion stay in Sanctuary; they could handle this on their own, and the companion deserved a break.
Two weeks later, Sole returns, shoulders weighed down by their pack, ladened with goods the settlers had insisted they take with them. It had been a tough week, though that wasn’t really a new thing in Sole’s book, or anyone’s, really. Unfortunately, Sole hadn’t been able to predict the fact that some sort of disease would run through the tiny settlement while they were there, taking several of the members with it as it left.
They scrubbed at their skin in a nearby body of water every morning of those two weeks, rubbed raw and pink as a result of Sole’s quietly hysterical distress. They wanted no trace of settlement on them. There were elements of guilt in their relief to return home, but with returning home came the fact that they were safe enough to reflect on their weeks away from Sanctuary. There seemed to be no hiding from what had happened.
Sole got through the main street of Sanctuary well enough, sending nods to passing settlers, with a brief stop to drop off some of the food they had brought back with them with their local merchant; he would give it away to those that dropped in throughout the day. Once they made it down the road and to the entrance of their home, they felt the dam break. Their hands shook as they pulled the door open and moved inside, doing their best to ignore the tears that began to trickle down their face.
(*Gage’s scenario takes place upon their return to Nuka World’s Fizztop Grille)
Cait:
Cait was waiting just inside, having taken up residence in Sole’s living room with Dogmeat.
She went to make a joke about Sole being late, but when she looked up, she lost the words quite quickly
Sole’s shoulders were shaking, and it was quite obvious that they were trying to hide that they were crying, but it was impossible to not see
She practically tripped over herself to get to Sole, who was acting casual by rearranging the items in their back they had set on the floor
Her desire to comfort and protect Sole overrode her hesitance for physical affection and she found herself hugging Sole far too tightly than she should’ve
But it was partially panic on her end that caused her to grip them so tight
“Christ, what’s a matter?”
The only sound Sole made was a choking whimper and Cait gripped them even tighter
Curie:
She reads the distress in their stance the moment they cross the threshold into their home
Similarly to Cait, she gets up from where she’s sitting immediately, but stops short of Sole
“Oh, goodness. Are you alright?” She reaches out but doesn’t quite touch them, not wanting to intrude
Sole shakes their head, unable to disguise their very obvious distress
“Physical or emotional?”
Sole opens their mouth to say emotional and gets out about half the word before choking on their own breath and curling forward into themself
“Would you like a hug?” Her voice is quieter this time.
Sole nods and she brings them in for a soft hug, rubbing their back
Danse:
Danse is far more emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people’s feelings than people give him credit for
He’s seen it happen before; soldiers compartmentalize their emotions as much as they can, for years even, but everyone has a breaking point
And sometimes it’s over something one might consider small, like breaking a dish, or sometimes it’s loss that brings them to their knees, as it would anyone
Regardless, he’s known all along that one day Sole won’t be able to suppress their emotions anymore
When they come in crying and shaking, looking defeated, he’s unsurprised. Sad in an inevitably knowing sort of way
He gets up and walks over, taking their pack from their hands and helping them shed the heavy jacket that was weighing them down
He requests they sit and takes off their boots before going to get them a glass of water
He doesn’t say much, considering he doesn’t have much to say, but he’d much rather show how he cares via actions rather than words, anyway
Deacon:
He’s somewhat similar to Danse in the fact that he knows Sole’s going to need to break at some point, however it’s in less of a “I’ve seen this before” attitude and more in the fact that he can relate
But Sole has an easier time trusting than he does, so he knows their break is coming at some point, whereas he knows that there’s never going to be a point where he allows someone else to see what Sole is allowing him to witness
So when they stand there, defeated, looking over at him like a lost child, he simply opens his arms
He’s not one for hugs, but he makes exceptions, and it seems this is one of those situations that calls for an exception
When they sob into his shoulder, he pats them on the back and replies with a simple, “I know, Boss. I know.”
Gage:
Gage is chewing at a piece of dried Mirelurk, grimacing at the salty taste.
Sole makes their way across Fizztop Grille, dropping their pack carelessly next to one of the couches.
Similarly, they drop down next to Gage where he’s sitting overlooking the rest of Nuka World, not saying a word.
After a moment, punctuated by a very obvious sigh, Gage looks over at Sole. He chews contemplatively for a moment, “You and me both. Wanna talk about it?”
Sole shakes their head and Gage responds, “Cool.”
He pats them on the back, admittedly, awkwardly and a bit too harsh to be comforting, but it’s Gage
He’s doing his best
Haylen:
Haylen has Dogmeat in her lap chewing at a Radstag bone, her hand running mindlessly over his fur
She doesn’t jump up when Sole comes in, cautious at the idea of spooking them
“Sole,” She calls out, shifting to move her feet flat on the floor
When they don’t respond and instead sniffle, she’s motioning Dogmeat off her lap and stepping towards them
“Everything alright?”
Sole shakes their head and she presses her lips together in worry, “Anything I can help with?” another shake of Sole’s head
She brushes their hair away from their face with a soft, “Oh, Sole.” and brings them into a light side-hug
Hancock:
He really does like to think he keeps his cool easily, but he really doesn’t in this case
Sole’s crying and that’s not something he thought would ever happen
“Whoa, whoa. Talk to me, what’s going on, Sunshine?”
“Bad day.” Sole chokes out
He suppresses nervous laughter, knowing it can’t just be that, but lets it go and instead puts an arm around their shoulders to pull them in for a tight hug, snug and reassuring, with his other arm finding their waist
MacCready:
He’s alert immediately, thoughts jumping to them being hurt, and potentially fatally so
Considering he thinks its an emergency, he’s in front of them and examining them for injuries within seconds
Sole doesn’t protest for the longest time, but eventually they grab ahold of his wrists and shake their head
He stops for a moment and looks them over again before sighing; this is something he doesn’t know what to do about
“Sit. You’re going to collapse if you’re not careful.”
When they’re seated he helps them shrug off their coat and sits nearby, not pressuring, but available if they want to talk
Nick:
Nick’s view is similar to Danse’s, and he isn’t quite surprised when they come in crying
He sets the pen he was writing with down and shifts back in his chair, opening his arms for a hug if they want
When they cross the room he wraps them in a hug and rubs their lower back, trying his best with the awkward angle him sitting provides
“You need to take time for yourself.” He recommends, but other than that, he remains mostly silent
Piper:
The queen of panic, despite her best efforts
She’s used to tears because of her experiences with Nat, but not from Sole of all people
She does something similar to Mac, where she checks them over briefly, before she realizes this isn’t a physical injury that’s hurting them
She’s competing with Cait when it comes to tight hugs, wishing she could protect them from whatever’s bothering them so
A sympathy crier, she has to blink away her own tears
“Let it out, Blue. We can talk about it later, okay? Everything’s gonna be just fine. I swear.”
Preston:
Preston’s not sure how to handle things, considering how used to Sole being a rock he is
He knows it’s not quite right, considering he knows other people view him the same way, and it’s incredibly difficult being the one holding it together all the time, but he’s still genuinely surprised when he sees they’re crying
He knows what to do when he realizes what’s going on, though; exactly what he wishes he could request from someone else
He brings them into a hug and mumbles reassurances; that they don’t have to be the tough one all the time, that their emotions aren’t weakness, and that everything’s going to be okay
X6-88:
A fan of mutual silence, X6 helps them get comfortable and brings them into their room; he’s always viewed quarters as the safest place to be, both in the Institute and when Sole gave him his own quarters afterwards
He helps them into bed, making sure they’re comfortable, before asking if they have any small injuries they need addressed before settling in
If they say yes he cleans and dresses their wounds as gently as possible before settling into bed near them, a respectable distance away, but within reach if they need, and begins reading a book Sole left on their nightstand
He knows it’s hard to be alone when you’re being attacked by emotions, but they don’t seem to want to talk about what’s going through their head quite yet; instead, he rubs their back and encourages them to cry it out
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wheresmybuckyhoes · 3 years
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Are you done
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Summary: You and Bucky end up trapped in a room together and you lose your temper
Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes
Warnings: Swearing, angst, aggression
Fear not winter’s children, for the next part will contain all the smut and sex pollen you can ask for, just please interact so I know if you actually want a part 2!
‘This is all your fault’ you snarl at Bucky as he pounds and pounds at the thick metal door caging you in like wild animals.
 ‘If you had just listened to me for once in your god damn life we wouldn’t be stuck in this fucking room’ you continue, pacing up and down the tiny room. Why did Bucky just blatantly refuse to listen to you whenever you were paired to go on missions together. He always listened to Steve, or Sam, or even Tony for fucks sake. You had worked so hard on this one, spending weeks alone gathering intel and planting bugs, only for his stupid ass to go and ruin it all. It was his fault that he hadn’t just stayed outside like you had asked him to, allowing the door to close, trapping you both inside.
Your eyes flickered over the few possibly useful things in the room: A vent on the ceiling, a broken code panel and a huge metal door. ‘Stop that’ you commanded Bucky as you turned to glare at him with crossed arms. Bucky said nothing in response and continued to beat the door. ‘That’s not going to help us Bucky, stop’ you repeated, frustration rising in your voice. It may have been uncalled for, but the mix of anger and claustrophobia coursing through you caused you to rush towards him, shoving him sharply in the chest.
He blinked at you. Your eyebrows furrow together in annoyance as Bucky barley budges from his spot and simply continues to pound uselessly against the door, the clanging sound echoing around the small room. It was too much for you, and you were not having it today. You were finally done with his bullshit. You push him again, harder this time, enough so that he slightly loses his balance and stops his endless banging. He turns to look at you with an irritated glance before turning his back to you and looking around for any sign of weakness in the infrastructure of the door and wall.
‘Are you kidding me’ you ask, almost laughing as your body scrambles to find an appropriate way to respond to his behaviour. ‘Bucky we need to think for a second can you just turn around and stop...stop moving for a se...second BUCKY’ your breathing had become rough and uneven, and for the love of god WHY couldn’t he just sit still for a SECOND.
‘SAY SOMETHING’ you scream at Bucky’s back, fists balling up either side of you. ‘YOU ARE TO BLAME, BUCKY. You had ONE job. ACT AS MY FUCKING LOOKOUT AS I SEARCH EACH ROOM. BUT NOOO, THE BIG BAD WINTER SOLDIER COUDNT POSSIBLY TRUST ME OF ALL PEOPLE TO CARRY OUT THE SIMPLEST OF TASKS SUCCESSFULLY. JUST HAD TO GET INVOLVED, YOU WITH YOUR...YOUR BIG METAL ARM AND STUPID MASK AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON...’ you had lost it and were projecting all of the week’s frustration at Bucky, and he was not having it.
As you continued to throw a temper tantrum like an annoying child, Bucky whipped his head around, body quickly following, and backed you right up against the door with his vibranium hand covering your mouth. You could almost taste the metal as your cries were muffled, feeling the impact of the cold wall on your back. Your eyes widened in shock at first before quickly transitioning into a look of anger as you tried to throw a pathetic punch at Bucky’s face, but he quickly caught your arm with his enhanced reflexes. For a still moment, you looked aghast between your caught fist and Bucky’s narrowed eyes. Before you could say or do anything, he flipped you over onto the dusty floor, kneeling on your back and pinning your arms behind you. This one hurt a bit.
You were shaking slightly, rather trembling, breathing heavily. ‘Are you done?’ he asked calmly as he leant down towards you, applying the slightest bit of pressure on your back making you whimper. ‘I said’ he repeated as he took his time to annunciate each word ‘Are. You. Done?’ You nodded helplessly as Bucky took some off his weight off of you, not quite wanting to move yet fearing you would try to unsuccessfully lash out at him again. He finally got off you and you rolled onto your back, wiping away the ghost of a tear. He held out his flesh hand for you, which you took carefully, feeling yourself effortlessly hoisted up. You shuffled back half a metre until you were leaning against one of the dull walls, sliding down and pulling in your knees in shame.
You sat in silence for what felt like hours as Bucky continued his search for a way out of the minuscule room. He had tried to reach the vent on the ceiling to no avail, and had given up trying to break through the seemingly invincible door. Meanwhile, thoughts were rushing through your head at a million miles an hour. Would Bucky hate me now? Do I deserve to be an avenger if I can’t even keep calm? What would Nat say if she saw how pathetic I had acted? Finally Bucky had seemed to give up. You heard a quiet sigh followed by heavy footsteps and you felt a presence lower itself beside you. After a few a minutes of more silence, you felt a hand reach out, tilting your chin up gently so you were gazing up at Bucky. He was looking at you with some sort of sympathy behind his eyes, an unfamiliar emotion to catch him showing towards you. You lowered your knees as he in turn lowered his hand, looking into those blue crystalline eyes and feeling so, so guilty.
‘I’m...’ you tried to speak with a shaky breath as your eyes found the floor once more ‘I’m sorry, Bucky. I know it’s not your fault, I don’t know what came over me to shout like that’ you whispered. Silence. You swore right then if Bucky was ignoring you again and not answering that this time you would actually punch him hard and...wait no, not quite silence, but a strange hissing noise. Your head snapped up to look at Bucky, who was staring all winter soldiery at something. ‘B...Bucky?’ You asked, following his line of sight to the cloudy white substance seeping in through the ceiling vent. ‘What the fuck is that?’ You asked, a tone of concern rising in your voice as you noticed Bucky’s whole body tense up, the plates of his vibranium arm whirring as he moved to get up.
‘Shit’ Bucky cursed, a panicked look flickering across his face. ‘Please not this. Anything but this. DON’T DO THIS TO HER’ he pleaded as you scrambled up onto your feet, feeling your heart rate increases exponentially. ‘What is it Buck, your scaring me. Do what to who?’ you questioned, usually confident voice hushed and timid.
‘It’s... no it can’t be...’ Bucky turned to face you, a mix of sadness and horror plastered on his face as he placed both his hands on your shoulders in an almost protective stance. ‘What...’ you trailed off.
‘sex pollen’
-> Read part 2
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tearsfordean · 2 years
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IDK if it was just me, but when I watched the Supernatural finale, I was beyond devastated that Dean died. I just felt like he deserved to live a normal life, growing old, maybe even retiring from hunting or being a mentor for a next generation of hunters. I don’t care if it was with Sam, or Cas, or alone. I just wanted him alive. To watch him learn to love himself, and to love to live his life however he wanted, like when he cooked, when he slept, and when he watched horror movies while eating fast food. And for weeks, months, a whole year, and even now, I feel so stupid for the grief the ending caused me to feel, because “Dean isn’t real, so [I] shouldn’t be sad about it”. But to me, since I was seven I watched that man sacrifice everything for those he loved because he felt he didn’t deserve to live, because he thought someone else deserved to live more than him. And then, he grew, he somewhat started to want things even though there were all these terrible things happening. Most of what I am, is because of him, and I love him so much. And then, WandaVision came out and I was just: “Wanda, I feel your devastation, that’s exactly what it feels like everyday when I think about what Dean should have gotten.” And then in Multiverse of Madness *SPOILERS* when Stephen said to Wanda: “all this for kids that aren’t even real,” I was like “YES! I so would do the same thing just for Dean to be happy and alive.” Anyway, Wanda really helped me to deal with that and made me feel heard. I know she did some crazy stuff and all that, but I truly empathised with her, idk lmao. I’m still not happy about the ending, and I miss Dean more than words can say, and I feel a bit delusional, really, for allowing a fictional event to get to me this way, but it does, and I don’t think I should feel ashamed of it. I’m just grateful that Marvel showed us how Wanda was feeling, I never thought I needed it, and I’ve just been bottling it all up inside me, and the pain truly does feel the way it it is portrayed when Wanda goes to that house where her and Vision were supposed to “grow old” together. It feels like this massive darkness inside me, the grief feels so consuming and drowning but it’s also “love persevering”. Like, on one hand it feels like the death of a star bursting inside me and it destroys everything around it, but it also feels like love: like the Big Bang that created the universe. I love that Vision said “what is grief, if not love persevering” because it changed the way I felt and the way I was dealing. With every burst of pain it really does feel like “hope, and… sadness… but mostly… love.” I also felt so much comfort when SPN fans started opening up that, they also felt grief because of the way Dean’s life ended, and that their therapists said it was normal and okay to feel that way. Seeing everyone’s hopes for what Dean should have gotten is something I appreciate so much, and if anyone is also ashamed for their grief, don’t be. I understand and I would just like to hear and see how everyone truly feels: angry, upset, etc. [y’all, I still feel embarrassed writing this like Dean is some real life person I lost 😭] anyway, I love y’all. — eris 🫧
TLDR: This is a rant about the ending of SPN, dealing with Dean’s death, and also an appreciation for Wanda (and Marvel) for portraying grief in a way that I related to. Feel free to say something as long as it’s not disrespectful, pls. 🤍
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captainsimagines · 3 years
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traitor
Summary: It was only one night, no strings attached, just two friends working through their grief together. Steve went to live his life with Peggy and within two weeks of returning, he peacefully passed. Unimaginable things happen everyday, jokes have negative consequences, and protection doesn’t always protect from the possibility… the possibility of carrying a child. He would have stayed if he knew, everyone agrees with this, so why is the world calling Steve Rogers a traitor?
One-Shot (with a happy ending)
Pairing(s): Avengers x Fem Reader; brief Steve Rogers x Fem Reader
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Warnings: Unexpected pregnancy; serious talks about abortion; brief mention of suicide (if you squint); mentions of Endgame deaths; strong language; minor descriptions of actual birth; ANGST but with a happy ending! This is purely fanfiction. 
Word Count: 6,600+
A/N: So, Olivia Rodrigo’s album just came out and dude, jfc every song is magical. like... wtf. This is essentially a ‘song fanfic’, but ehhhh not quite. The lyrics don’t match the fanfic lmao but the melody does??? idk this is a shit ton of angst, be warned. It was from a request I got a while back, so this is kind of a request fanfic. 
~
Up until the moment Steve pressed his soft lips to yours, you were certain you had never experienced such a wonderful sensation of magic. You had been witness to actual magic, to beings from other worlds, and yet Steve’s gentle touch was enough to erase any other image, to completely overpower your senses, a kind of magic that dug deep into the trenches of your heart and settled in its new home. 
No, you and Steve were not a couple. There were some flirty remarks over the years, some fantasies that lay dormant, but there was never the craving to actually act upon them. But when half the world disappeared and the remaining Avengers came up with a plan five years later, the loss of a teammate prompted the sudden push of two touch-starved individuals. The rest of the team had gone to sulk in their own corners of the compound, some hard at work at constructing the final piece to the puzzle, and you and Steve ventured off to the kitchen. Two cups of tea each, silent but heavy tears mixing in with the sugar and milk. 
You were the first to break, shoulders crumbling and knees rocking under your weight. You fell to the floor, sobs and hiccups forming into a full-blown attack, your hands scratching at your neck. Steve fell beside you, pulling you into his chest and rocking you back and forth. He cried too, the final words of his best friend ringing in his ears like a dreaded song on repeat. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. 
Time was irrelevant, you had enough of counting time, estimating it, time-traveling through it. If you could sit there all night, all week, another five years huddled close to Steve Rogers, then so be it. 
‘I can’t believe she’s gone,’ you had sobbed. 
‘I can’t believe it either. I can’t,’ he had cried back. 
You had simply lifted your head and turned his face toward yours, searching his eyes for any hesitation before you had leaned in first. He had returned the intimate gesture almost immediately, gripping you tightly. Tears dripped in between your moving lips, sobs caught inside breathy moans, grips becoming tighter and tighter as each of you shared your first time together. No other partner up until that point had ever pulled such a pained but grateful cry from your throat, no other human being had ever made you feel so safe and peaceful. 
The final battle was over, you had lost yet another teammate, but the world had a chance to start over. And Steve had pulled you aside a few days before he returned the stones, letting you know that he wasn’t coming back the same man. He had been so scared of telling you, of possibly betraying you, but when your palms cupped his cheeks and you gave him a kiss on the lips with a soft whisper of ‘Be with her. Cherish her. Be happy. We’ll meet again’, his worries instantly shattered. He could only rapidly nod his head, grabbing your hands that were soaked in his tears, and kissing them until he said his final goodbyes. 
And he returned such a different man, but with a smile you had never quite seen before. Yes, he was older and you only had a few seconds to actually process that, but he was happy. He had been happy. He finally lived the life he deserved. 
Sitting in that pew two weeks later, both sad and happy tears streaming down your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a long time. You simply gripped Wanda’s hand as they carried the casket down the aisle, a sad melody drowning the church. 
`
The first round of sickness hit you the day of the funeral, but you obviously didn’t think much of it. It was the fits of sadness and grief, the hot coil in the middle of your stomach, you thought. It had to be. It wasn’t until your breakfast was regurgitated into your toilet only a few minutes after enjoying it that you were suddenly worried. 
You sneaked to some liquor store a subway ride away, careful of not leaving a trail. This was embarrassing, it was insane, it couldn’t possibly be real. You gave the cashier your money and ran to the stall provided, peeing on the stick the best you could before placing it on the dirty sink in the corner. You patted your hands on your thighs repeatedly, careful to not touch any other thing in a goddamn liquor store bathroom. 
‘Friday?’ your voice was so defeated, tears already stinging your eyes.
Your little bluetooth sprang to life, ‘Yes, Y/N?’
Your bottom lip was trembling wildly, hands now shaking. ‘Can you stay active with me while I read the results? I can’t… I can’t be alone right now.’
‘Yes, Y/N. Anything you need, I’m here.’ You sobbed openly, thanking her under your breath. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to contact anybody else?’
‘I can’t face them. I can’t face them if it’s positive, Friday.’
‘Okay, it’s alright,’ her voice was so delicate, so quiet and reassuring. ‘Just keep talking to me, Y/N. I think the results should be ready now.’
You inched closer to the test. ‘I’m scared, Friday.’
‘I know,’ Friday sighed, ‘But you will get through this. No matter the result.’
Grabbing the small device from the sink, you swallowed so much saliva that it actually hurt. The plus sign was so clear, so evident in its visibility, and your ears only registered the loud cries escaping your painful lungs because Friday was practically yelling in your ear. 
‘Please, calm down Y/N! Your heart rate is too fast-” she was stuttering, an AI was stuttering. ‘I’m calling for help. You need someone to be here with you. I’m sorry.’
It took ten minutes. Ten minutes of banging outside the bathroom door from the cashier, ten minutes of blurry vision and a strep throat. Sam broke through the door as quickly as he could, eyes flying around the small bathroom until he saw you huddled in the corner, a pregnancy test clutched in your small hand. He crouched down beside you, hands extended but not exactly touching you, and eyes trying to lock with yours. 
‘Y/N, Y/N?’
Just the sound of his voice, the voice of someone who didn’t need this added pain in their lives, it was just too much. Another weight added to your shoulders. 
‘I don’t know why,’ you choked out, ‘I’m so sorry.’
Sam’s face contorted into a pained expression, eyes brimmed with salty tears. ‘What are you talking about? No one is blaming you for anything. You’re safe, I’m here.’
You shook your head violently, ‘I didn’t mean to.’
But as quickly as those words left your mouth, the pounding in your head had become too unbearable. You collapsed into Sam’s arms. 
`
You woke to a single doctor who was monitoring your vitals. She was just sitting beside your bed, clicking random buttons on the screen in front of her. You whimpered slightly, the bright lights temporarily blinding you. The doctor quickly stopped what she was doing and removed the tube from your nose, allowing you to breathe on your own. You ignored the weird scratch that caused, and asked her the question you needed to have answered by a true medical professional - not a liquor store device. 
She confirmed what you already knew. There were no ‘congratulations’ or even ‘I’m sorry’s’, just the fact that you were pregnant and it was very early on. There were still options for you, it was healthy so far, you were healthy so far- 
Wait, options? 
The team were all huddled outside, nerves all over the place. They didn’t know what was going on. Sam knew but it wasn’t his information to pass on. It wasn’t until Bucky’s angry demeanor actually turned violent, a hole forming through the hospital wall. You were all on a private floor, completely displaced from the reality down on other levels, so any freak-outs were only slightly justified. Slightly. 
‘Sam, you gotta tell us. I made a promise to Steve, Sam! I promised to take care of her!’
Bucky’s words gripped Sam’s heart in a metaphorical vice. ‘She’s gotta tell you guys, man. It’s not my place.’
You had curled in on yourself, the doctor’s words echoing louder and louder. 
‘Abortion is an option. At this rate, it would be quick and safe. I can promise you that. It’s your choice.’
You wanted to die. You wanted the world to swallow you up and bury you alive. You wanted to disappear. If you had died in the snap, this wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened. 
The ride back to the compound was a quiet one, with Sam driving you and the radio on low volume. 
‘Are you going to tell them?’
You bit your lip, ‘The doctor said I had options.’
Sam’s breath hitched and he tried to mask it, but you had heard it. You felt guilty, disgusting, like you betrayed Steve and the rest of the team. They had just lost him, you had just lost him, and you were carrying his child. And if Steve would have known, he would have wanted it. He would have encouraged you to have it, he would have been so happy, he would have been such a great fa-
‘The choice is yours, Y/N.’ He glanced over at you, ‘Can you at least tell me who the father is?’
The wrecked sobs were like second nature now, choking you with their strength. ‘I’m so sorry!’
Sam pulled to the side of the road and quickly took off his seatbelt, sliding over in the connected front seats to pull you into his chest. ‘Shh, hey. We are not going to be mad at you. Everything’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now but-’
‘Sam!’ you cried, clutching his shirt in a tight fist. ‘I swear it was an accident! Steve didn’t know! He didn’t know, I swear he didn’t know!’
Sam’s mouth dropped open, an almost embarrassing noise of surprise sounding from the depths of his soul. He ran his hands through your hair, eyes rapidly searching for a single viewpoint. But he couldn’t focus on any one thing, not when you were shuddering against him and apologizing nonstop. 
Steve didn’t know. 
`
The team had reacted in a similar manner. They so desperately wanted to wish you a congratulations, it was the norm for this kind of thing. Especially with such a rough few years - bringing life into this world could be considered an ultimate blessing. But this was Steve’s child, his baby, his only baby in this timeline. It was a part of him, something he had unknowingly left behind. 
The team took a few days. The pain of losing Natasha, of losing Steve, of losing Tony. The gift of life. It was just too much. 
And you found yourself in front of Wanda’s bedroom door, hands clutching your night robe closed and knees wobbly. She brought you tea, she laid underneath the covers with you, she spooned you until you stopped crying. 
‘We weren’t together.’
‘You weren’t?’
You sat up, muscles straining due to your thousandth crying session that week. ‘No, it was one time. It was a mutual thing. We just… felt safe. And we made love.’
Wanda shut her eyes briefly, only to open them for two parallel tears to slip. ‘That sounds beautiful.’
‘We used protection. It really was an accident.’
Wanda interrupted, ‘No, don’t try and justify yourself. It happened. It’s done.’
You whimpered, reaching out to grab her hands. ‘I feel so guilty for even talking to you. I don’t know how you did it. I’m so selfish to be pouring all this on you-’
‘Hey, hey,’ she whispered, ‘But I am the only one who can truly understand. I have lost more in my lifetime than anybody ever should. But I am going to help you get through this, Y/N.’
You pulled her into a hug, ‘I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.’
Wanda slowly pulled away, eyes cloudy and touch of red twinge flying in her irises. ‘Alright. I won’t leave your side. No matter what you decide.’
The chair was cold, the room was cold, no matter how inviting the hospital tried to make this room. It was decorated in the most neutral colors, so delicate in its designs, pamphlets and books scattered on every available surface. It was made to make the pregnant person feel secure, to feel comfortable in the hands of their doctor, but it just made you sick. 
And when the doctor asked if you would like an ultrasound first, that it wasn’t actually necessary for you to view it, you found yourself saying yes. You were at six weeks, it would be there. Wanda clenched her eyes shut, because even if you were strong enough to do that, she wasn’t. But she was here to hold your hand. She would hold your hand no matter what. 
It was the size of a grain of rice. That fuzzy, white figure off a little to the right of your uterus was the size of a grain. A literal grain of rice. The monitor shifted and the doctor cleared their throat, the slimy device absentmindedly being circled around your lower abdomen. 
‘Oh my god,’ you whispered, eyes locked on the place the doctor had their finger. Wanda brought her hand up to her mouth and looked away. 
That’s when you heard it. 
The steady rhythm of a strong heartbeat. 
Your chest started heaving, tears staining your cheeks as you listened to the beautiful sound. 
‘I’m so sorry,’ the doctor mumbled, ready to pull the monitor’s plug to end the live video but you gripped their arm before they could. 
‘No, no!’ you yelped, the heartbeat still sounding, so early in its actual life that this was for sure Steve’s child. 
You turned to Wanda, face contorting into one of agonizing regret. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Steve.’
Wanda gulped and took in a ragged breath, ‘Y/N, Steve’s not here.’
‘No,’ you whined, head turning back to look at the monitor. The monitor with yours and Steve’s child on it. ‘This is the only real part of him we have left, right?’
Wanda opened her mouth but shut it again, unable to formulate a proper response. 
‘This is Steve’s child,’ you stated, sucking in a breath through your sobs. ‘This is my child.’
The team was alerted of your decision the minute you walked into the common room. They had known what you left for, dread itching in their souls and morals twisting greedily, but they hadn’t stopped you. They couldn’t do that to you. 
‘Hi,’ you mumbled, placing your things on the counter. Everyone kept their heads down, lumps growing in their throats as each second passed. ‘I’m okay.’
Clint was the first one to speak. ‘Did everything go well? Did they hurt you?’
You smiled with your teeth for the first time in weeks, ‘No, they didn’t hurt me. They didn’t even touch me.’
For a few seconds, no one caught on to your words. But Bucky was the first to register them, to etch them deeply into his brain, to stand from his seat and walk to you cautiously. ‘You decided-?’
You smiled wide now, happy tears falling over your strained cheeks. ‘I’m having a baby.’
The team erupted, cries and cheers deafening you. Bucky stumbled over and hugged you close, arms wrapped over your shoulders and face buried in your neck. He had to bend his knees to keep that position. He weeped into your shoulder and thanked you repeatedly, his own body rumbling with broken sobs. You held him close, fingers digging into his shirt and the skin of his back. 
‘We promise, Y/N,’ Sam said off to the side, waiting for his turn to hug you. ‘We promise to take care of you and this baby.’
A few more long-awaited congratulations were shared. ‘Guess I’m on desk duty for the next nine months, huh?’
Bucky held you tighter. 
`
The first four months were certainly eventful. Wanda insisted on taking pictures of you every few weeks. She had you model with a nice tight shirt to show off your growing stomach, different props in your arms as the weeks passed on.  Flowers, sporting equipment, random Avengers inventions, signs that read the number of weeks you were at. You even did couple shoots, with your teammates posing behind you with their hands on your stomach and an equally bright smile.
She had them printed out and framed, the compound common rooms now littered with random photos of you and your growing child. It was like a timeline, a museum considering you would catch someone inspecting the photographs. This time it was Scott, casually eating his cereal and balancing it in his hand as he walked the hallway. He had this silly smile on his face the whole time, milk dripping from his bottom lip. In his photo, he was posed behind you with a giant smile, back arched and head thrown back while you were trying your best to arch your back as well. And then he saw you watching him, eyes falling from your face to your stomach, and that silly smile growing wider. 
Happy insisted on doing yoga with you every other morning, his chosen playlists actually Tony’s. Half expecting the songs to only emit the essence of rock and roll, you were surprised when the playlist only contained acoustics. Happy winked at you, ‘He was a man of taste, Y/N. He, too, had those sad driving songs.’
Peter was hesitant to visit at first. He was still mourning Tony, as you all were, and seeing everyone again was certainly a hard thing to do. But he managed, and the moment he saw you there, trying to balance a plastic bottle on your tiny stomach, he burst into a fit of giggles. 
‘Oh, oh! I almost got it!’ you encouraged yourself, stomach not yet protruded enough to quite get it. 
Peter rushed over and caught the bottle as it slipped, ‘You’ll get there. How do you feel?’
You grinned at the kid, ‘Like I’m pregnant.’
Peter chuckled, ‘I wouldn’t know, so.’
‘It’s weird,’ you admitted, turning back to your abandoned bowl of fruit. You popped a piece of pineapple in your mouth, ‘But I just remind myself that they’re gonna be an angel when they come out.’
‘All slimy and angelic.’
You swatted at Peter, ‘They’re healthy. That’s all that matters.’
Peter placed his hand on your stomach, half-expecting something to happen. ‘I can’t believe you’re having his baby.’
You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry. Steve should be here experiencing this. ‘Me neither.’
`
The next month had come so quickly. Your friends - your family - made sure to keep you occupied. Whether it was to shop, to nap together, to eat together, to exercise together, anything, they were by your side. It was so overwhelming at times, but not wanting to scare anyone, you took time for yourself whenever you could. You’d settle in your room, in a nearby cafe, in Natasha’s room, and just sit and breathe. With one hand on your stomach, you couldn’t possibly fathom the luck on your side. It always tore your heart in two when you realized Steve would never meet his child, absolutely mutilated it. But the realization that this child was going to have such a massive family, your family, uncles and aunts who would die for the kid - that realization was sometimes too much. 
The thunder from outside startled everyone. The quiet night everyone was having was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a certain god, hair now cut and beard trimmed, running into the common area. He was practically hyperventilating, his quick pace halting as he scanned the room. ‘Is it true?’
‘You got my message?’ Wanda asked, shutting off the water from the sink. 
‘I’m sorry, I was away. I just got the message and-’
Thor lay his eyes on you, your obvious stomach, and he started crying softly. ‘It’s true?’
You smiled at him, opening your arms for an embrace. But Thor fell to his knees in front of you, forehead resting on your stomach. ‘This is a miracle.’
‘It really is,’ you laughed, wiping away a few stray tears. ‘The condom broke.’
Laughter sounded almost instantly. 
Thor looked up at you, eyes red and eyebrows furrowed. ‘He didn’t know?’
You shook your head, ‘No, Steve didn’t know. I promise.’
Thor nodded, believing you. He stood slowly, encasing you in a tight squeeze. He hadn’t changed much since you last saw him, but he did seem to be drinking less. ‘After so much loss, the Heaven’s send us a gift from a beloved friend.’
`
Bucky seemed to be the happiest. Although he shared your beliefs that Steve should be here to experience this, to cherish this, to be the father he had deserved to be, Bucky couldn’t help but feel grateful that you decided to keep the baby. He knew he needed to stop relying on Steve to fix his mind, this he had to do on his own, but the bundle of joy inside of you just added to his undying love for his best friend. This was a piece of him, a true half of Steve’s heart that would soon be breathing air and opening its eyes. 
He was currently laying beside you, just woken up from a nap and lazily drawing circles over your clothed tummy. You were still asleep, deep breaths a little ragged since you were twisted slightly to your side. You had given up trying to sleep on your back nowadays. 
‘Hey there,’ Bucky whispered, a funny smile forming on his face because he can’t believe he’s talking to your literal stomach. ‘You know you’re a miracle, right?’
There was no response, obviously. But Bucky just positioned himself to lean on his elbow, temple resting in the palm of his hand. ‘We’re going to love you so much. Steve would have loved you so much.’
He placed his metal hand on your stomach, careful not to apply so much pressure. He was hesitant though, the metal hand now from Wakanda but still something he didn’t entirely trust. Still, he rubbed smooth circles on your side. ‘I already love you so much.’
Kick.
Bucky widened his eyes, a hitch in his breath. Was that real?
‘Did you just respond to me?’ Bucky asked, a little laugh escaping his lips. ‘Should I say it again?’
Nothing happened for a long while. He switched hands, rubbing a little deeper now. It was a free massage for you, anyway. 
Bucky bit his lip and looked up at your face, still peacefully dreaming. He leaned closer to your stomach and repeated his earlier confession. ‘I love you.’
Kick. 
Bucky shot up from his spot on the bed and covered his mouth, a loud laugh accidentally escaping and startling you awake. 
‘W-What?’
‘They kicked! They kicked!’
‘Seriously?’
Bucky was shooting through the stars, because even though it was a long shot, he felt like somehow Steve was telling him he loved him back. 
`
Sam’s leg bounced madly as he watched the doctor slick up the generator. You repeatedly tried to calm him, tell him that it would be quick and simple, and there was nothing to be worried about. 
You were six months now. Belly now protruding to the point where you could only see the tips of your toes when you glanced downward, and the baby was positioned farther into your back. If anything, you were having a giant freaking baby. He was a product of a super soldier. 
You remembered having that scary conversation with the doctors, your whole family beside you as they heard and relayed the information. 
‘Your baby is perfectly healthy. The serum isn’t affecting it. His lungs are forming less quickly than the other organs but there’s no serious worry.’
Bucky had literally cackled at that, confusing everyone in the room. ‘Steve and his shit lungs.’
But now you were finding out the sex. Only one person was allowed in the room this time, and Sam had literally begged you with his eyes to choose him. 
‘Are you two ready?’
You each nodded at the doctor, waiting for the monitor to spring to life. After a few seconds, the heartbeat was detected. You gripped Sam’s hand in yours, a quiet ‘thank god’ passing through his lips. 
Then the giant image of a literal baby appeared on the screen. It was so surreal. It resembled a quick sketch, like one Steve would have casually drew, and you couldn’t help but imagine him drawing that very image from memory. 
‘Y/N, I-’ Sam cleared his throat, smiling at you. 
‘Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’
‘Yes, please,’ you answered, gripping Sam’s hand harder. 
The doctor moved the generator a few times more, hitting the spacebar on the computer to capture the image. ‘Congratulations, you’re having a boy.’
You shuttered a tiny laugh as Sam flew out of his seat, arms extended upward for a moment before he brought his hands down to kiss them over and over. 
‘I’ll print this out for you,’ the doctor smiled, leaving you and Sam to celebrate. 
`
Everyone had gathered later that night to find out the news. You had printed enough copies for everyone who wanted one. Bets were placed, a multitude of gifts already mounted in online shopping carts. 
‘Don’t keep us waiting!’ Rhodey shouted, champagne bottle at the ready and propped up on his thigh for when you made your announcement. 
Sam was standing beside you, a massive grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and urged him on, telling him that you were fine with him saying it. Sam didn’t need to be told twice. 
‘It’s a boy!’
Pop! Drinks were poured and hugs were shared, with even Friday coming over the monitor to congratulate you. 
Even in the midst of all the excitement, you felt a little empty. But you enjoyed your pre-baby shower, happy that everything was so unbelievably working out. 
It was midnight when you alerted Friday to call Happy to your room. You needed a ride. 
Happy was slightly irritated at being woken up, but once you told him where you were heading, he obliged. The ride was silent, comfortable, with Happy glancing at you once in a while to make sure you were okay. 
You walked across the grass slowly, hands resting on your stomach and just a little waddle in your walk. You flashed your phone light over the headstones even though the headstone you were looking for was in a secluded area. Happy trailed you, keeping a respectable distance. 
You stopped in front of the small building, the fence somewhat blocking your path. But there was no security around, and even if you were caught on camera, your face let everyone know who you were and your connection to Steve. You had no worries. 
You broke the lock easily and opened the door. It was almost entirely marble, a good deal of Steve’s actual aesthetic. So simple, not overly patriotic, and secluded. He had refused to be buried in Arlington. 
You sat on the bench provided, the three names in front of you standing out like they were begging to be read out loud. So you complied. 
‘Sarah,’ you muttered, smiling as the name rolled off your tongue. ‘Thank you for sending everyone a literal angel.’
You muttered his father’s name as well, but felt no personal connection to it. You spent at least ten minutes building up the courage to utter his name, to say his name in front of him again. He was buried right underneath your feet, his name the only thing for you to see. 
‘Steve,’ you sighed and rubbed your stomach. ‘Steve.’
You sobbed silently and watched as the tears fell on top of your resting hands. ‘I don’t regret it.’
You were met with silence. ‘I don’t regret any of it. God knows why he did this. But you lived your life, and I just can’t believe I have to bring life into this world without you here.’
‘It’s a boy, Steve. A lovely little boy.’
You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite the side of it, throat clenching. ‘Everyone is so happy. I am, too. I promise you.’
You lowered your hand back to your stomach. ‘I just wish that you could feel that happiness.’
The moonlight moved slightly, shining on his name brighter now. ‘He’ll know about you, don’t worry about that.’ You laughed. 
You didn’t want to keep Happy waiting. You stood from the bench slowly, feet sore. You walked closer to him, wishing you could easily bend down and give him a kiss. But you physically couldn’t right now, so you blew him one instead. ‘Thank you.’
`
Somehow the rumor got out that an Avenger was pregnant. And when Wanda was seen outside without a large stomach, all fingers were pointed at you. 
The news went ballistic, most positive and raving, while others pondered just who had gotten you pregnant. You had been seen with everyone in paparazzi photos, so no actual conclusion had been made. 
Until a picture of you at Steve’s gravesite was leaked. 
It was constant bombardment, timelines were stitched together, magazines and their headlines were having a field day. Rhodey had tried to cancel these news stories, to threaten lawsuits, but to no avail. The world was now cursing Steve’s name - ‘how dare he leave her while pregnant?’, ‘how could he leave her pregnant and for another woman?’, ‘did he even know?’
The team had done everything in their power to try and clear yours and Steve’s name, but no one was having it. Steve’s love story was now tarnished, with many calling him a traitor and a deadbeat. It was no use. 
You struggled to climb the stairs, inwardly cursing the staff for not installing a ramp instead. The flashes were blinding, the lights were hot, and the various microphones placed on the stand were comical. 
Everyone hushed, looks of sympathy and pity slapping you in the face. 
‘I know what you’re all thinking and what you’ve all been saying,’ you started, eyes wandering to the far corner of the room where your team were huddled. ‘But I need to clear a few things up.’
‘Steve didn’t know.’
The crowd erupted, questions flying at you like fast bullets. They were silenced after a few moments. ‘We shared a moment with each other before we brought everyone back. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after his funeral.’
The crowd murmured amongst each other. ‘He told me he was planning to stay in another timeline. To live his life. I encouraged him. He did not leave me alone and pregnant. He truly didn’t know.’
You finished, they didn’t deserve a deeper explanation. You ignored their calls for questions, some even trying to crowd you at the doors. But you pushed through them, cradling your stomach with a newfound sense of pride. 
`
It was time. 
You sat up in your bed and quickly wiped away the hard crusts from the corners of your eyes. You sat there for a few seconds before you felt another harsh twinge. ‘A-ah!’
You didn’t know why you paused, legs now thrown over the side of the bed. They felt like menstrual cramps, it could be false labor. You let out a heavy breath and pushed yourself up, legs wobbly. But the moment you did, it was like something snapped. Your legs were wet and a tiny puddle had started forming on the floor. 
‘Friday!’
The lights in your room turned on immediately, ‘Y/N, is it time?’
You moaned at the uncomfortable cramping, ‘Yeah, I think it is.’
‘I’m waking and alerting the team right now, Y/N. Sit back down, please.’
You listened to Friday, sitting at the edge of your bed for a few moments before you realized you had to pack a bag. You shuffled across your room and grabbed the duffel bag Scott had left for you a few days ago. You packed a pair of socks, sweats, underwear, vaseline and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and phone. You zipped your bag just in time for both Bucky and Sam to throw open your door, Sam struggling to put his shoes on and Bucky slipping on a jacket inside-out. 
‘Y/N, is it really time? Are you ready? Are you okay?’
You ignored the cramping in your back and laughed at them, ‘Yes! My water broke, I’m in pain, it’s time.’
With both Sam and Bucky at your sides, they held onto you as you all stumbled down the hallway. Thor was already waiting with the elevator open, the biggest smile on his aging face. 
‘Wanda and Bruce are preparing the room. Scott already called the doctor. Clint’s in route,’ Bucky reassured. The three men huddled into the elevator with you, all instructing you to breathe and to squeeze them if you needed to. 
But even though you were in pain, albeit not as extreme as it was going to inevitably get, you were so incredibly happy. They were all so loud, so chaotic, and you were as calm as a cucumber. 
The elevator dinged. ‘Good luck, Y/N,’ you heard Friday call after you. You pinched your eyes closed, the thought that Friday was ultimately a part of Tony’s consciousness - Tony was wishing you good luck. 
The pressure in your hips was starting to build and you didn’t know how long this would actually take. Some people had quick births, some people lay in labor for hours, some for a day. But it seemed like this was going to be pretty quick, because your next scream was completely involuntarily. 
Bucky winced, leading you to the bed Wanda had just lay sheets on. ‘You’re doing great, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.’
You laughed at Bucky and gripped his hand in silent thanks before slipping into the bed and trying to get comfortable. Before you could truly feel like you made it, like the first hard step was done, you sat up quickly. 
‘Wait, wait! Nat’s sweater! I was gonna wear Nat’s sweater!’
Thor was already out the door, ‘I’ll get it! Don’t worry!’
You smiled at the ceiling, beads of sweat now rolling down your forehead. ‘Oh, this hurts!’
It was an hour. Once you shimmied into Natasha’s purple knitted sweater, you lay there trying to control your breathing. Everyone had piled into the room one right after the other. The room was big enough, spacious enough for even Bruce to roam freely. Although you were in an immense amount of pain, you still focused on your team. 
Scott was on his third cup of coffee, sipping excitedly as he conversed with the others. Bruce was constantly checking your vitals and wanting everything the doctor was saying repeated. Wanda was beside you, a hand gripping yours and the other running ice chips along your lips. Bucky was on your other bedside wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts because it still smelled like him. His logic was that if he was wearing something of Steve’s the first moment he held your baby, then the first thing he smelled would be the remnants of his father. 
And Thor was practically speechless, silent in his own little corner and feeling like the god’s really did bless everyone in this room after such turmoil.
Clint arrived with Peter trailing behind him just when the doctor instructed you sit up - you were at ten centimeters. 
‘You gotta push, Y/N! You gotta push when the doctor says push!’
You yelled until your lungs gave out, head almost rolling back but Sam held it in his palm. ‘C’mon, Y/N! You’re doing great!’
You usually had perfect pitch when you sang, never faltering when it was time to hit a high note. But your voice was cracking at the most unusual times, throat rubbed raw as you felt your hips splinter open. 
‘He’s crowning!’
Wanda traded places with Sam real quick, deciding that she wanted to see the baby when he was finally out. Bucky had a death grip on your hand, tears flowing freely and a smile to match Thor’s. 
‘Push, Y/N! Push!’
‘I’m-I’m! I’m sorry! I can’t!’
The doctor was working her hands around the head, trying to ease the baby out easier. ‘Trust me, Y/N. One more big push and the shoulders will be out. That’s the hardest part.’
The doctor’s words were starting to drown out, and your head lolled back again. You felt tiny smacks on your cheeks, ‘C’mon, Y/N. You can do this. Everyone believes in you. You’re so goddamn strong, Y/N!’
That was Bucky’s voice. Bucky. 
You opened your eyes, delirious for a second. ‘Steve?’
Bucky whimpered and nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing kisses all over. ‘He’s here. I feel him, Y/N. You can do this.’
And you could feel him. You could see your family but you could feel him. It was so light, like a gentle whisk across the cheek, a promise that this truly was a miracle. 
You screamed as you pushed under doctor’s orders, feeling numb and abused but satisfied. His shoulders slipped out and along with them came his arms and torso, legs and all ten toes. The doctor caught him quickly, lifting him up vertically to let you see him. He was already crying. 
‘He’s here!’
You sobbed and smiled widely, laughter rattling your chest as the team bombarded you with quick hugs. Sam remained at your side, his eyes motioning for Bucky to go see the baby. 
‘Who’s cutting the cord?’
You looked around the room but you knew. You answered the doctor’s question. ‘Bucky.’
Bucky was truly confused. Not because of your decision, but because he couldn’t possibly be worthy of this. His hands, those hands that had killed so many people involuntarily, had almost killed Steve, those hands were now gripping a pair of medical scissors to cut the symbolization of new life entering the world. He turned to you for permission one last time, before he gripped the cord in his hand and cut where the doctor pointed. 
His shoulders felt a million times lighter. Like he was set free all over again. 
They cleaned the baby up quickly and swaddled him. The doctor placed him in your arms, all warm and utterly safe, to look back up at you with the same blue eyes as his father. 
You sobbed happily, brushing your fingers delicately along his pink cheek. ‘Hi. Hi there.’
He was no longer crying, just staring up in pure astonishment at the various faces staring back at him. 
‘Y/N, he’s beautiful,’ Clint said, tissue already in hand. 
‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you spoke softly. 
‘Do we have a name?’
It was like everyone said it in unison. ‘Steve.’
You snuggled into the bed and Natasha’s sweater, somewhat aware of the doctor still fixing you up down there. You would try feeding later, but for now your newborn needed to be passed around the group and be awed at. 
You carefully guided him to Bucky, holding his head gently in your palm. Bucky took him, arms instinctively curling in the correct position. Once Bucky had him in his arms, it was like everything that happened in the world was worth it. Absolutely everything. 
Bucky watched in fascination as the baby curled deeper in his chest, little fist clutching Steve’s sweatshirt. He took the sweetest little intake of air…
`
xxMoni
394 notes · View notes
ravysu · 3 years
Text
Sannin headcanons and thoughts
The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central
This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.
Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.
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1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.
2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).
3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.
4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.
5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.
6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..
7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.
8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.
9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.
10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.
11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.
12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe
13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen
ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.
14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).
15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.
16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.
17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.
18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).
19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.
20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".
21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.
22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.
23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).
24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.
25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.
26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao
27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.
28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi
29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways
30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.
Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.
322 notes · View notes
anika-ann · 4 years
Text
One Door Closes... (S.R.)
Type: one-shot, pretty much canon
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2700
Summary: For Steve, your door is always open... or he thinks so. And even when it isn’t, it is.
In which one small Zoom mishap leads to an (un)usual ‘welcome home’.  
Warnings: brief mention of blood and violence, lightest angst, attempt at humour, crack-ish, fluff and language
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A/N: For @anjali750, because this is totally her fault. Thank you for inspiring me :-* Have a little bit silly weekend reading, y’all!
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“Tell me about it,” Steve encouraged you gently, soft smile playing in the corner of his mouth despite the pain it must be causing him due to his busted lip.
You couldn’t but grin at the lenient picture he made. Feeling blood rush to your cheeks at the thought of him probably calling you cute in his mind if his expression was anything to go by, you obliged, proceeding to tell him about the new project at work.
Your project. Because somehow, you finally earned your boss’ confidence and could bring the great ideas in your mind to life.
You felt so giddy just talking about it! So you started explaining, excitedly gesturing with your hands so Steve would get the right visual and you grew so enthusiastic that you almost forgot to keep an eye on him.
But you were watching him – always.
His lower lip was split, but already healing – it would have healed much faster if he stopped tugging at the healing skin whenever he talked or smiled at you from the screen. He looked a little drowsy, a shadow of a bruise forming on his cheek, but as far as you knew, those were the only injuries he had; that and many hours of sleep to catch up on.
Steve had a habit of calling you via Zoom whenever he got back to the Tower from a mission. He usually took a quick shower and was online until the last second before he had to leave for a debriefing; the only reason why he didn’t head straight to your place.
He admitted once that he loved seeing your face and talking to you even if for a moment after a mission, that it grounded him. On a very sappy and loveable moment, he even called you his sun; and the fact that after few minutes of being with you – as much as technology allowed – his face always seemed brighter, made you think that it truly was how he felt.
Even exhausted as he was now, you could tell his half-lidded eyes shined with life unlike when you started the call.
And so you kept rambling, feeling your heart bursting with love for your man and with euphoria, because goddammit, finally some recognition at work!
“Well, obviously, to reach as much general public as we can, we’re gonna launch a world-wide campaign! World-wide!” you emphasized with a blinding grin, throwing your hands wide to demonstrate.
---and your fingers caught in a cord from the laptop, pulling at it.
Steve’s benevolent face disappeared as your screen went black.
Because of course it did.
You had been talking yourself into buying a new laptop or at least having this one fixed for a few weeks now, because this was always the result whenever you accidently unplugged it. The battery was useless, ready to retire.
“Motherfu--- ugh!“
You wanted to be mad at the device – but this was totally on you.
Sighing, you hooked up the laptop again, waiting for it to wake up from a coma, shooting Steve an apologetic text in the meantime. Closing your eyes, you let your forehead lightly fall against your desk, mentally cursing yourself.
Dummy. If you only weren’t so lazy… and didn’t hate certain aspects of adulting with so much passion… you could have been talking to Steve-
Your eyes flew opened when it felt like it was quiet for too long; no reply to your text. Dread filled you and you quickly reached for your phone again, this time to dial.
You prayed you were wrong; but as the phone kept ringing with no one to answer it on the other end, you felt misery creep up you back and whimpered. Sliding your phone on the tabletop, your not-so-deft fingers stumbled over the keyboard, harshly welcoming it into the world of living by opening Zoom again to reconnect the call.
Your breath hitched in anticipation as the window opened---
An amused and yet somehow unimpressed face of Natasha Romanoff welcomed you and this time, you didn’t bother slowing down as your head hit the desk. It hurt, but that was only a presage of the real pain.
“Nooooooo,” you whined loudly, faking and not quite faking a sob, because shit.
“Oh yes,” Natasha hummed nonchalantly.
You straightened a bit in your chair, narrowing your eyes at her as you noticed the corners of her lips twitching while she pretended to be busy checking out her possibly-mission-broken nails.
“It’s not funny.”
She snorted and glanced at your no doubt desperate face.
“It really is. But also kinda sad,” the spy noted, something resembling concern flickering over her face before she scrunched her nose, irises twinkling. “And disgustingly cute. It has Rogers written all over it.”
You glared at her some more, not even bothering to roll your eyes.
“Tell that to my landlord,” you muttered under your breath, leaning your elbow on the tabletop and dropping your chin to you palm. A second later, a brilliant idea hit you and you tried to manipulate your legs from under you.
The thing was, even if you had a pretty good idea of what was coming if you didn’t stop it and knew that it would be a bitch to deal with, Natasha was right.
In a way, it was utterly cute, disarmingly charming and entirely heart-warming. Your stomach fluttered, the fabled butterflies flipping their wings, your face grew hot and your heart… well, it felt as if it was growing in size.
It was also sad, heart-breaking even; Steve, especially after a mission, was a man running on instincts. It was one of the reasons why he had developed a habit of calling you, why he wanted to hear you ramble about your either boring or exciting but always wonderfully normal day. A day which involved no shooting and no blood besides papercuts and a quarrel with your stubborn boss who shoot you glares at best.
On a mission, these carnal automatisms often meant survival. But back home, Steve didn’t want to be a sum of instincts of survival, fight and fear; he wanted to feel again. And with you, he did. He wasn’t just a Captain America, a soldier to be put on battlefield whenever the general found fit. He was a human being. A wonderful one at that, with beautiful soul.  
So yes. It was also rather upsetting.
And in a way, it was a little funny too. You knew it was totally your fault and that Steve was being kinda ridiculous, because he knew you and your inclination to wild gesticulations ending up catastrophically. On top of that, he was aware of this particular problem being almost a daily occurrence; hell, he tried to talk you into having Stark look at your laptop and failed.
And now... well. Here you were.
“You know, maybe if you get up and welcome him with door opened…” Natasha teased you with your own genius ides and you grinded your teeth, frantically trying to move your foot, which was pretty much on fire and yet dead.
“I would, but I… eh, pins and needles, was sitting on my feet,” you explained, embarrassed, testing whether your feet could carry you or not, naturally finding that without support, you’d be down before you could take as much as a step.
This time, Natasha didn’t snort in amusement.
Instead, she graced you with an outburst on honest full belly laughter, her red hair unfairly shiny for a woman who just spend week on a mission in damn Moldova and probably kicked more asses that you could imagine.
“You know what, Romanoff…” you grunted, forcing yourself to wobble towards the door. Very slowly. And cautiously. Knowing your luck, you might actually get hurt.
“I’m not even sorry,” she choked out and then continued to howl in laughter. “You so deserve each other. I finally know what the ‘idiots in love’ mean. Thanks for that!”
“You’re very welcome,” you huffed, voice dripping with irony.
Finally able to put full weight on both of your feet, you headed towards the exit – and entrance – of your apartment.
Halfway, you decided it was a lost cause. You would be willing to bet that the moment you’d touch the doorknob, you’d get hit to your face. It wasn’t worth it.
Yes, maybe if you did get hurt, it would make Steve think twice before coming all guns-and-shield blazing into your apartment; then again, it would probably cost you a broken nose.
Not to mention Steve’s tendency to get swallowed by the enormity of his guilt.
So not worth it. Best if you stayed put.
That was what you kept telling yourself when you stood there for about two minutes, in which you’d be able to open the door about forty times. Your annoyance – mostly with yourself and the cackling redhead – and the anticipation was becoming unbearable. As seconds ticked by, you were trying to convince yourself into taking the last few steps and opening the door and save yourself some trouble---
You yelped when the loud bang rattled your apartment the door sent flying of their hinges along with a spray of powered plaster despite knowing it was coming.
A glint of metal appeared next, the striking red, white and blue no longer there as it was covered in more bland colours for stealth missions.
And then a large figure cladded in blue shirt and grey jeans entered, his chest heaving, face flushed with red. Piercing blue eyes wiped of all previous traces of tiredness scanned the room, instantly falling on you as you awkwardly stood there, dumbfounded, startled and utterly speechless.
Also, much to Steve’s puzzlement, you were perfectly fine otherwise – even with both legs functioning, no remnants of pins and needles present.
Steve eased his posture instantly, eyes narrowing and then widening as he looked you up and down, lips parting in genuine surprise – and relief.
He said your name, clear and almost reverent, dropping the shield on the floor with a clang.
The ‘hi babe’ got stuck in your throat as you could see the tension leaving his shoulders, his eyes turning glassy and absent despite relief rolling off him in damn tsunami waves.
It hit you like a train – that you were delighted to see him, actually see him, even under these circumstances; and you truly didn’t want him to withdraw to some freaky brain-space after he had probably got one of the most ridiculous scares of his life due to the fact that his brain was not fully back in the normal world.
In the normal world where you abruptly disconnected a call without warning, because you talked too animatedly and not because some terrorist high on the FBI’s, CIA’s, NSA’s and SHIELD’s most wanted list found out you were Steve’s girlfriend and decided to take you out.
So to prevent another psychical horror trip of his, you went for distracting him – with a very relevant issue.
“You broke my door.”
Steve blinked, gaze refocusing on you fully, simply staring for a long moment.
“You went offline,” he objected quietly, a hint of accusation in his voice. God, you missed his voice.
“You broke my door, Steve.”
As if hearing his name was a spell, his frozen figure came to life and he took a cautious step closer, repeating his previous statement, this time with a hint of guilt.
“You went offline.”
“And you broke my door. That’s the second time this month, Steve! My landlords gonna k--- be real pissed at me,” you corrected yourself in the last second, not wanting say kill.
Steve ignored the slip and apparently got the message, his face twisting in genuine apology. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it!”
With efficiency of a supersoldier, he spun on his heels and rushed to pick up the door as if it was lighter than a paperweight and swiftly put it in place.
Only for the door to slowly tilt his way again. He caught it with a loud curse and moved it aside, leaning it partly against the wall. The action sent more plaster down onto the floor, like the only truly white snow in New York City. Peripherally, you noticed Steve grimacing, his face an expression an epitome of yikes.
You let your eyes slipped shut, shaking your head with a sigh, but couldn’t but chuckle. When you looked at Steve again, he resembled a 240 pounds giant Labrador puppy, truly regretful, approaching you reluctantly as if he was afraid you would slap his big paws for being clumsy.
What he would deserve was for you to clip round his ear for impulsiveness, but could you blame him? God knew what he had seen in Moldova in the past week, what horrors he had lived through and what a nightmare his mind had created when you ‘went offline’.
Him barging in like this due to your own dumbassery was kinda sad; a prove of his demanding job full of terror.
It was cute and heart-warming, because he just cared for you that much.
It was a little ridiculous, because as Steve finally crossed the distance between you two, the head of your elderly neighbour peeked from behind the empty doorway, puzzled and rather concerned.
You snorted unattractively, the scene in front of you seeming epically hilarious all of sudden.
“I’m good, Mr. T!” you called over Steve’s shoulder after the poor man who gossiped like an old woman and was just as hospitable. “Just my boyfriend fussing because of a technology fail!”
A grin spread on his wrinkled face; a testimony to years of laughter and amiability. “Oh. Hi, Mr. America!”
“Afternoon, Mr. T! I am verry sorry for disturbing you.”
The older-looking man waved off Steve’s politeness.
“It’s fine. You keep taking care of your lady, Mr. America, and keep her safe!”
“Yes, sir,” Steve humoured him with a salute, earning a wink.
As your neighbour walked away with a fresh topic for his Sunday tea party, Steve turned his attention to you again, eyes searching, wide, apologetic – but also soft, taking in the view of you, revelling in it.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered lowly, the lopsided smile you loved so much gracing his face, once again pulling at that damn split lip. You grimaced a bit, the sight of him almost brining tears into your eyes; the gentleness and the remnants of fight punching you straight in the gut.
His eyes fluttered close when you lifted your hand and traced the line of the bruise on his face with the lightest pressure you were capable of. This time, tears definitely prickled in your eyes, but you blinked them away, cupping Steve’s cheek and pulling him close.
“Oh come here, babe,” you breathed out, fingers carding through his hair as he leaned his head on your shoulder, lips brushing the crook of your neck, strong arms embracing around your form.
He was warm and big and held you a bit tighter than necessary and dammit, you loved your sweet of heart and occasionally dumb of ass boyfriend. Boyfriend, who was crazy in love with you. Sometimes with emphasis on the crazy.
“I missed you, sweetheart,” he muttered, nose nuzzling the sensitive skin of your neck, breathing in deeply. You pretended it didn’t do things to you as he did everything to get lost in you and leave all the bad behind. You failed.
“You’re totally paying for fixing my door.”
Well, maybe not failed entirely.
“Of course,” Steve assured you dutifully, no hint of humour in his voice.
It broke you on a completely new level; he was serious. Dammit you loved this man!
“I missed you too,” you finally admitted and this time, he did chuckle, squeezing you even tighter, hand running up and down your back. Without any warning, he tightened his grip and lifted you from the floor so you had to cling to him entirely, causing you to gasp.
You never got the chance to gather your wits and comment on that, because an annoyed voice of a certain redhead sounded from your laptop.
“…alright, you crazy kids, you had your cuddles. Now, Rogers, should I tell Fury you’re coming back for the debriefing or should we just finally change with the times and do it over Zoom?”
Clutching Steve’s waist and shoulder, face contentedly in his chest, you voted for the latter.
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Steve Rogers masterlist
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Lovely divider by whimsicalrogers​.
A fic from collection ‘This was supposed to be a drabble.’  Also, I couldn’t for the love of god figure out a better title.
I hope you enjoyed at least a bit :-*
Thank you for reading!
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emixion · 4 years
Text
Protect - Day 18 - Maribat March 2021
I know you guys have been wanting this one. So here’s Damian chewing out Lila (finally) @maribatmarch-2k21 ao3 link Marinette life was usually full of unexpected occurrences, she was a superhero for crying out loud, yet nothing could have prepared her for the absolute whiplash her boyfriend caused her today.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when Damian announced that he and his family were visiting Paris. He had convinced his father to move up a business meeting he had in a few months so he could see her. Marinette had been very excited and waited eagerly for his arrival.
Unfortunately, news travelled fast and it wasn’t long before her entire class knew that The Waynes would be in town for a few weeks. Lila of course took the opportunity to slip in another lie, and proclaimed that not only did she know the Waynes personally, but that she was also dating their youngest son.
Marinette had been furious.
While she’d tried taking the high road these past few months like Adrien asked, dragging her boyfriend into the fray was crossing a line. She would not stand for it.
“That’s not true.” She bit out. “You’re lying.”
Aaaand cue the crocodile tears.
Lila immediately put on her faux waterworks, blubbering out the usual spiel about Marinette being a bully and targeting her and blah, blah, blah.
When scolded, Marinette told the class that she knew Lila was lying because she was the one dating the youngest Wayne, not her.
“What’s his name if you’re supposedly dating?” Marinette prodded, taking satisfaction in the way Lila’s eyes widened ever so slightly.
“Oh, come on, Marinette.” Kim butted in. “Everyone knows it’s Damian.”
Marinette could’ve strangled him right there.
The class immediately turned on her, deciding that she was the liar and was just jealous of Lila’s connections. Marinette nearly banged her head on the desk out of pure frustration.
-
After class had ended and Marinette sulked home, she video called her boyfriend and told him everything, watching his face darken as she described the way the class immediately dismissed her.
“Your class is full of imbeciles.” He huffed.
Marinette giggled. “They’re…easily persuaded.”
“They’re moronic is what they are.”
“Damian!” She exclaimed, scandalized.
“I mean it, Angel. They’ve been doing this for ages now, when will they wake up and realize that they’ve succumbed to the mercy of a complete liar?”
Marinette sighed. “I wish I knew, Dove. Nothing I do seems to work.”
Damian’s face twisted with thought. “Marinette. Are you still opposed to exposing the Rossi girl?” He asked, voice serious.
“I mean…” She trailed off. “I was, but…”
“But?”
“She dragged you into it, Damian. I can’t just sit by and watch her lie about you. You don’t deserve that.” She said softly..
“You don’t deserve it either.” Damian added.
“I know, I know.” Marinette looked down at her shoes. Damian’s thinking face reappeared.
“I’m gonna pull a few strings.” He stated. “And we’re going to fix everything.”
“What?” Marinette asked, confused.
“I’ve got to go, Angel. There are things I need to arrange. Just trust me, alright?”
“Oh, um, alright?” Marinette answered warily. The couple said goodbye and Marinette was left sitting at her computer completely stumped.
-
Two days later, Marinette sat in class, discretely checking her phone every once in a while. She hadn’t heard from Damian since their call the other day and she was starting to worry. It wasn’t like him to not answer her.
She was pulled from her thoughts when one of her classmates shouted something and pointed at the window. Marinette blinked herself into focus and followed her peers to look out the window.
Her jaw nearly hit the floor when she saw her boyfriend step out of a stretch limo in front of the school.  He dusted himself off as he exited the limo, his green eyes hard.
The other students were awestruck, chatting excitedly.
“Look at the limo!”
“Oh my god, it’s the Waynes!”
“Aren’t they not due in Paris until next week?”
“They must’ve come early so Damian could surprise Lila!”
Marinette’s daze started to clear as she realized what her boyfriend had been doing for the past thirty-six hours. Clever little sneak.
Once the lunch bell rang, every kid in Bustier’s class booked it out front, eager to see Lila reunite with her ‘“boyfriend.”
Damian stood waiting on the front step and oh my god was he holding flowers?!
Her classmates were trying to push a suddenly very shy Lila forward to see Damian, thoroughly convinced he was here for her.
They were not expecting him to march right past Lila and up to Marinette, kissing her sweetly as soon as he reached her.
Marinette let out a small ‘mmph!’ as his lips met hers, but quickly relaxed into the kiss as Damian pulled her against him. Once he pulled away, Damian smiled softly at her.
“Hello, Angel.” he whispered, handing her the flowers. “I missed you.”
Marinette’s cheeks burned. She couldn’t believe he’d just done that in front of her whole class. “I-I missed you too.” She smiled shyly and lifted the flowers to her face to sniff them.  “Thank you for the flowers.”
“Anything for my angel.” He said fondly, brushing the girl’s bangs out of her eyes. The moment was interrupted by her peers’ outrage, some of them demanding to know what was going on, some grilling Lila, some coming to her aid.
“Hey!” Damian yelled, and everyone went dead silent. “Which one of you is Lila Rossi?” He asked.
It was comical, the way the crowd parted away from her.
Damian stomped over to the petrified looking girl, putting on his best Al Ghul glare.
“Listen to me,” He began, his voice dripping with venom. “If you ever try to use my family’s name for your own gain again, I will sue you for everything you have. And if you ever hurt Marinette again, I will make you regret the day you were born. Understood?”
The liar just nodded meekly, her face drained of all color. Damian glared at her for another moment before returning to his angel’s side, wrapping a protective arm around her waist.
“That goes for every single one of you in her class.” He continued. “Marinette tried to warn you about her lies this entire time and this is how you repay her? You are all pathetic.” He spat, taking pleasure in the way their faces dropped in shame.
Turning to look at Marinette, his face instantly softened. “Would you like to go to lunch, Angel? My siblings are desperate to see you.”
Marinette beamed. “I would be delighted.”
As they walked away, Damian suddenly stopped and turned to face the stunned class.
“Oh, yeah, not only was Rossi lying this entire time, but Agreste over there knew it and didn’t say anything. Go wild.” He said and then led his angel into the limo as the shouting at Lila and Adrien began.
Marinette laid her head on his shoulder as they drove away, leaving the burning class behind to face their own mistakes.
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therenlover · 4 years
Text
Heartsick (A James Patrick March/Reader Oneshot)
Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again
Tags: Fluff, Sickfic, Cuddling, Marriage Proposal
Rating: 16+
Warnings: Language, Potentially Triggering Mentions of the Reader Being Ill for a Long Time/Almost Dying of an Unnamed Illness, Planning Your Own Death
Word Count: 3700~
This was crossposted to my AO3 under the same title!
---------------
James Patrick March considered himself a fairly patient man. He had to be, in his line of work. Some things didn’t deserve his patience, like lazy workers or angry hotel guests, but when it came to things that did matter, he was willing to go to extremes. Murder, for example, deserved his patience. Once upon a time, the Countess did too. Yes, patience was a rare virtue Mr. March had possessed all his life.
When it came to you, though, he found his patience running short.
You had been a revelation all your own when you first walked through the doors of the Hotel Cortez with not even a suitcase to your name, radiating purity with every shallow breath. James had been excited to find you in some dark corner of the hotel and rip the life from your body. That is until you found his little nook at the Blue Parrot Lounge and seduced him with your charming personality and sweet smile. From that moment on the Countess didn’t matter anymore. The whole world was just him, you, and all of the deliciously naughty ways he wanted to debauch you.
James had insisted on moving you into your own suite on the seventh floor that very night, just a few short hallways away from his own, and given every luxury he could offer. He was nothing if not a gentleman. It just wouldn’t be right to move the one he intended to court directly into his bedroom, especially while he was still married to his previous wide. Despite the distance, things between the two of you went swimmingly. Even the murder, which James initially worried could drive you apart, was now a delightful shared activity when you chose to grace him with your presence during a kill.
That’s where the problems started.
Mr. March was a man stuck in his own time. That’s why, after 5 splendid years with you at his side, you still weren’t moved into room 78. This also meant your suite was a place he wouldn’t enter unless he was invited. Sure, you had a healthy sex life, but the Countess still had the March family engagement ring tucked away somewhere. He wouldn’t move you into his quarters or impose himself on yours until the two of you were at the very least engaged. The plans for his and the Countess’ divorce were moving, albeit slowly, when you stopped opening the door for James.
The first day he thought perhaps you were simply elsewhere, but after a week of nothing, he began to get angry. It was one thing to deny him your company, but to ignore him while he made a fool of himself banging on your door? That was a punishable offense in the March family playbook. So, he decided if you wanted to play hard to get, he would too. In his mind, James could practically envision you rushing back into his arms once you got over whatever was souring your mood. It wouldn’t be long until the whole nasty affair was behind the both of you once and for all, right?
Wrong.
A month since he last dined with you, James sat at his table in the Blue Parrot lounge alone nursing the remains of his 4th glass of scotch.
Liz was slow to walk out from her place behind the bar. “You want another?” she asked, holding out a crystal decanter, “or should I fish out the absinthe fountain a little early this year,”
“No, no I do believe I’ve had quite enough. Besides, it’s not as if I can actually get drunk anymore,” he huffed. Whether it was the drinks or his growing rage, Mr. March found his collar feeling a bit tighter. He reached up to pull at his cravat but paused when thinking about the ghastly wound it hid. In the end, he let his hand return to its place on his glass.
“Suit yourself,” Liz quickly returned the decanter to its place and began polishing glasses.
Somewhere in the distance, Iris picked up a phone and began to take an order for room service. James had an epiphany.
“Liz!” he shouted, getting her attention, “has Y/N been ordering much room service lately?”
Liz shrugged. “Only once a day for the past month. Why do you ask?”
“I find myself in a bit of a predicament. You see, Y/N began ignoring me about a month ago. I’ve been giving her a taste of her own medicine for quite some time now, and yet she has made no attempts to seek me out. Do you think, perhaps, there could be something wrong?”
The energy in the room began to still.
“Wait, Y/N hasn’t told you?”
“Told me what?”
The dirty glasses were abandoned as Liz let out a humorless laugh.
“Damn you, woman!” James rose with a shout, slamming his glass down on the table, “what is she hiding!?”
“She’s sick,”
James’ heart would have stopped if it were still beating. He sat down again, bewildered. “What?”
“She’s sick. Fever, puking, tremors; the whole shebang,” As she spoke, Liz came back to the table and sat down on the plush booth across from him.
“But it’s been a month! Influenza shouldn’t last that long…”
“Well, it’s definitely not the flu, I can tell you that. Last time I brought down her dinner she nearly choked on her toast. She was so weak that I had to sit there feeding her soup because she couldn’t lift up the spoon long enough to feed herself,”
It was as if James’ whole world had come collapsing down on him all at once. Mortified, he let his head drop into his hands. “Why didn’t she inform me? Am I that pathetic a lover that she would rather suffer in silence than tell me she was ill?”
“Well, to her credit, you don’t exactly look like the most comforting type. When did she move in again?”
“Almost five years ago, it’ll be the anniversary of her first entering the Cortez on the 20th,”
“And how many times in the past five years have you, I don’t know, cuddled with Y/N,”
“You insolent-”
Liz lifted her arms, offering up a white flag. “I’m just asking a question,”
James opened his mouth to offer up a rebuttal but found he had no way to defend himself.
It was true that his relationship with Y/N tended to fluctuate between chaste and lecherous at the drop of a hat. Once they had made love, it was the only habit for him to leave her in bed and return to whatever was keeping him busy at the moment. Post-coital intimacy was simply something he had never experienced or needed. Unfortunately, seeing that the only time he spent with Y/N outside of their trysts were formal meetings or dinners, there had been no time for gentility or softness between just the two of them. If ghosts could blanch, he would have.
Noticing his sudden shift in mood, Liz rose, backing off. “Now, usually I like to stay out of your business, but because your little relationship makes Y/N happy I’ll give you some advice. Go down to the kitchen, have Ms. Evers heat some broth, and give Y/N her dinner personally, maybe even give her some extra attention as a little treat. That should fix the bulk of your issues. Got it?”
He was never one to take orders, but surprisingly James nodded. He stood quickly, smoothing his suit. “Thank you for your advice, Ms. Taylor, but I must depart. My paramour needs me,”
She nodded. “Any time,” James began to hurry down the stairs, but suddenly Liz shouted. “Wait a second,”
James paused. “Yes?”
“Only the living get sick, Mr. March. Maybe, after five years, it’s time for Y/N to extend her stay at the Cortez... permanently. Just something to think about,”
He gave her a sharp nod before disappearing down the stairs to the kitchen. 15 minutes later he was waiting outside your door with a rolling cart in hard. He had already been stalling there for 5 minutes when he finally, with a deep, steadying breath, unlocked the door.
The room was dark and silent, almost like a tomb.
Your voice rang out like a bell as James pushed the cart forward. “Iris?” you called weakly, “is that you?”
“No, darling,” he responded, closing the door behind him. Slowly, he bent down at turned on a small lamp. “You won’t need Iris to bring you your dinner any longer,”
“James,” You whispered, half reverent and half shocked.
He was far too taken aback by the severity of your condition to form an immediate response.
You were curled up in bed, folded in on yourself as you wheezed for breath. As Liz had mentioned your body was weak and wracked with near-constant tremors while you tried your best to prop yourself up on the headboard. James had to abandon the cart with your dinner on it in favor of rushing over and helping you sit up. As he took in your gaunt face, his heart broke.
Your soft voice snapped him from his thoughts.
“Am I dead?”
James shook his head. “No my love, not yet,”
Tears began to spill from your eyes. “I thought you’d left me, James. I thought I was going to have to rot in this awful, dark room for eternity, that maybe ‘cause I died while I was sick my ghost was too damn weak to get up,” As you spoke, you tried to grip the back of his suit, but found you were far too weak to actually hold the fabric. Your inability to even do the simplest of tasks only made you cry harder.
Mr. March was quick to pull out his handkerchief and wipe your eyes. “Oh, my dearest, that couldn’t be farther from the truth, but none of that matters now. I cannot apologize enough for my abhorrent behavior as of late,”
“Will you stay?” your words were laced with desperation, “just for a little bit?”
“Of course, my dearest. I think you’ll find it very difficult to get rid of me from now on. Besides, I couldn’t leave my beloved paramour without doing what it is that I set out to do,”
“Which is?”
James stood and quickly returned with the room service cart. As he removed the silver tray-topper, you found he had brought you a bowl of soup, a small plate of crackers, and a tall glass of ice water.
“I intend to make sure you are well-fed and taken care of,”
“James, you don’t-” you tried to argue, but he cut you off.
“Nonsense! There is, unfortunately, no way to sugar coat this, but I will try my best,” he whispered as he sat on the edge of the bed beside you, “I have neglected you, darling, not just for the past month when I found my pride and ego keeping me away from you, but also for the past five years. I ignored your needs out of a false sense of propriety by bending to rules that are long dead and considered inconsequential. For that, I fear I may never forgive myself. Things will be different from now on, though. I hope to win back your heart properly now that I have realized the severity of my mistakes. Would you…” he paused, gulping, “would you be willing to humor me?”
You offered him a soft smile. “Oh, my beloved Mr. March, there’s no need. My heart has always been yours,”
Your words soothed him, and he offered you one of his debonair grins, the kind where his little mustache scrunched before his lips parted that never failed to sweep you off your feet.
“Now where were we!” he exclaimed.
“Dinner,” you responded.
“Ah, yes! Soup!” He was quick to get a spoonful of the warm broth and bring it to your lips. “You needn’t worry, my sweetling, I watched Ms. Evers prepare this herself. Nothing but the best for you,”
It was easy to accept the spoon into your mouth. Something inside of you knew that James would be taking care of you from now on.
The rest of dinner passed in relative silence, but you didn’t mind, far too tired to take part in any meaningful conversation. Instead, you simply enjoyed the attention. James had never been shy about his affection, but that affection always tended to come in the form of gifts or sex instead of close, intimate touch. It hadn’t bothered you enough to tell him. You always just assumed he didn’t enjoy that kind of love. Now that you’d had a taste, though, of his gentle yet constant affection, you knew you could never get enough.
Too soon the bowl was empty.
James stood, returning to the door with the cart as you relaxed and rolled onto your side. “When will you be back?”
He chuckled, opening the door. “Did you think you could be rid of me so soon, darling?” The cart was quickly pushed out into the hallway as James turned back towards you.
Your face flushed. “I just assumed…”
“Assumptions, assumptions,” he tutted, “It hurts that you have such little faith in me, but I admit I haven’t given you much reason to. As I said, things will be different now,” James perched himself on the edge of the bed with a smile as he untied his shoes and slipped them off.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking off my shoes, darling, so I can join you in bed,”
Your heart skipped a beat. You had been imagining the first time James would actually stay in your bed to cuddle since the beginning of your relationship, but it had been years since you had given any thought to that silly fantasy. Could it really be happening?
Apparently, your surprise was evident on your face because Mr. March paused once both his shoes were settled neatly on the floor. “Is something wrong, my dearest?”
“Nothing, darling, nothing at all,” you were quick to explain, “we’ve just never done this before,”
James smirked like a predator who had just found his prey. “Such an innocent gesture from such a naughty little minx. I don’t recall you being so… flustered the night we met when I took you up to my suite and-”
“James!”
“Alright! Alright, my love, no more vulgarity from me until you’re fully healed and back on your feet. Well, hypothetically on your feet,” he emphasized his words with a dirty wink. Then he crawled into bed beside you as if he belonged there, scootching over until he was resting pressed against your side. You slotted into place, with your face resting in his neck and your leg thrown haphazardly across his hips as if you were made to fit his body. Holding James was like coming home.
You let out a soft, pleased sound at just how good it felt to be held.
James took this as positive feedback. As he settled in, he began running his fingers through your bedhead, combing through the loosest of the knots. Sensing something strange, he paused to put his hand on your forehead. It was uncomfortably hot. “You’re still feverish. Do you need anything? A cold compress? A wet washcloth? Some water?”
It was funny to hear him fussing over you, but it also warmed the deepest parts of your heart.
You made a negative huff against his neck. “No! You’d better not move. Your skin feels too good. It’s nice… cold. The only thing I could possibly want right now is for you to dim the lights and take your damn shirt off so you can cool more of me off,”
“I would, darling, believe me, but there’s just the small issue of the wound on my neck,”
“James,” you glared up at him, “I have literally ripped a dying man’s dick off in front of you. We have dinner with Jeffery Dahmer on your birthday every year, where I have to eat my salad as he zombifies whatever poor sap wandered into Sally’s clutches across the table. Hell, just a few months ago we fucked in that bathtub filled with some businessman’s blood. Your neck is just another part of you, James, it doesn’t bother me. Shirt. Off.”
“Have I ever told you that I adore when you take charge?”
You grinned as he undid his cravat and the top few buttons of his dress shirt. “Once or twice,” The thrill only lasted a moment, though, because before he finished unbuttoning his shirt he pulled away from your arms and got off the bed. A high-pitched whine escaped from your lips. “I thought you said you were staying?”
“I may be a ghost, dear heart, but my clothes can’t just disappear,” Always one for the dramatics, he shed his shirt and suit jacket to the floor with gusto. The sight of his bare torso made your heart beat faster. You had to remind yourself that you were sick and it would probably kill you to go for even a gentle round with Mr. March. Ah, but what a way to die…
James dimmed the lamp before returning, undoing his pants, and stripping down to his boxers. “Is this better for you darling?”
You nodded and reached your trembling arms out to your lover. “Much. Now come back to bed. You have five years’ worth of cuddling to make up for Mr. March, and I don’t intend on letting you wheedle your way out of even a second of it,”
He gave you a gentle smile as he found his way beneath the covers again. “I wouldn’t dream of it,”
Your face quickly found its way back into the crook of James’ neck. It was inhumanly cool, easing the constant burn of your fever and soothing your sore skin. The slit across his throat truly didn’t bother you. As you said, it was just another part of him for you to love, nothing more than a cosmetic imperfection.
Nuzzling closer, you took a deep inhale of his intoxicating scent. Perhaps it was the cologne he wore at the time of his death or even just what he naturally smelled like, but his pulse point radiated notes of sage and bergamot. God, how you loved him.
The pair of you were quiet for a moment with only the sound of your ragged breathing breaking through the air, but something urged you to speak your mind.
“You know, James, when you walked into my room tonight I assumed you were here to kill me,”
He chuckled. “I can’t say I didn’t think about it, my pearl,”
“Of course you did…” you went silent for a moment, “I wouldn’t have minded. This sickness is hell. I’m wasting away by the day and the pain never stops. I don’t mind dying, not when it means I get to spend the rest of time here in the hotel with you, but I don’t want to go out like somebody normal. My death needs to be special… I want to be the crowning glory of your murders, the most fantastic piece of art you’ve ever created,”
Pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your hair, James sighed. “Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but the moment I thought of you, wasting away in the darkness and succumbing to some common germ, I knew I couldn’t kill you. Not yet. I refuse to have my bride accompany me through eternity bearing a constant reminder of my failure,”
Your breath hitched. “Bride?”
Slowly, his hand made its way to your throat. There was no threat in it, he wasn’t using even an ounce of pressure. It was more of a gentle reminder of his presence; a physical conduit of his passion.
“Yes, bride. I don’t mind if you can only become Mrs. March posthumously, though I would prefer to wed you alive and enjoy your last moments of warmth in the throes of carnal delight on our wedding bed, it all depends on where your illness takes you next. Until then I will be glued to your side. No more harm will come to you. I shall nurse you back to health with my own hand so that you glow with life long after your death. Yes, Y/N, your death will come, but not until I have done my best to atone for my mistakes in your life,”
“Was that a proposal?” You gazed up at James with wide, misty eyes.
He huffed out a laugh. “I suppose it was, and a poor one at that! To think I stalled for years in the hopes of finding the perfect moment to present you with my mother’s ring only to pop the question in bed with no ring in sight. I do hope you’ll say yes. I’d be rather crushed if you rejected me after all this time,”
You nodded, small tears escaping as you pressed your face into his soft skin. “Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot. I would’ve married you if you were the poorest man in the world and proposed with a ring-pop,”
“Then it’s settled. You shall be my wife as soon as you are well enough for me to fuck you again! I quite hate that Will Drake, but I believe he’s our best, quickest option if we wish to get you a dress commissioned. I have a few ideas drawn up already waiting in my office… perhaps I should call Ms. Evers and have her take them to him,”
“Shhhh,” you smiled into his neck, pressing a kiss to his collarbone, “we can figure out the details later. For right now, though, your fiancée is sick and she needs some TLC. What are you gonna do about it, Mr. March,”
He growled. “Well, I suppose ravishing you is off the table. Hmmm... what to do to my darling girl to make her feel better?” With a gentle nudge, he tilted your head up and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips.
“That’s a start,”
-------
a/n: I hope you liked it! I’m really leaning towards writing a second part of this where the reader actually dies, so let me know if you’re interested. Also, my requests are open if you want to see any of Evan’s other characters! 
Please don’t post my work to other sites, thank you <3
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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years
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see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 3
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Summary: Months after Reader left, Reid has tried to put his life back together. He’s never stopped trying to find Reader, but he may find her in the worst way possible. 
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3.3k for Chapter 3
Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. This series has a villain, and he harms women. There is no s*xual assault, but there is brief talk of torture, and then the death of the victims. Spoiler: Our unsub targets pregnant women, one of the infants does not survive. Reader and her baby are fine. I don't go into detail, but if you need to skip this, I understand. 
A/n: How can I ever thank you all enough for being so patient with me? That being said, this chapter does end on a cliffhanger that you probably saw coming if you read “River” by @yours-truly-r​. She shared this plot with me, so this is my version. I’ll try my best not to make you wait too long for chapter 4. Chapter 3 & 4 are in Spencer’s point of view, but the remainder of the series will be in Reader’s POV. 
-- Linear Progression -- 
(Spencer’s POV)
The night we came back from my first case with the BAU, Morgan declared that he was going to a bar near his apartment to "get lucky." When I pointed out the fact that it was almost 2 am, he had told me, "time is an illusion, Pretty Boy."
That was the first time he called me pretty boy, along with the first time I tried to explain a theoretical concept he had no interest in hearing.
He was right to a degree. The way we understand time is an illusion. Time doesn’t happen in the linear way that we as a society perceive it to. The physics of time are still widely debated, but the running hypothesis is that everything that has ever happened is still happening right now. Every single moment in time is happening all at once, and it always will be.
Morgan didn’t “get lucky” that night, but he did give me a ride back to my apartment. I think that was the beginning of our friendship; I had never been able to understand the social constructs of relationships and friendships, but I think he felt some sort of responsibility for the skinny kid with glasses who was babbling about the physics of time at 3 am.
My friendship with Derek Morgan was one of the most important of my life.
Which is why I wasn't going to murder him for banging on my door at 7 am.
“Open up, Pretty Boy!”
Grumbling, I got out of bed and padded down the hallway towards my living room where Morgan was pounding on the door so hard, I was concerned it was going to fly off its hinges.
“If you break my door, you’re gonna fix it,” I muttered out when I finally pulled the door open.
The man who was the closest thing to a brother I had just smiled at me. “I restore houses, kid. It’d be an improvement.”
Smirking, I waved him into my apartment. In the months since…Since February, Morgan had made it a habit of coming by several times a week whenever we were in town. I don’t know if the rest of the team knew he did it, I don’t know if they were as worried about me as he was, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.
“Coffee?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.
"We'll grab some on the way," he said, flopping down on my couch. "We have a case; I told Hotch I'd swing by and get you. It's wheels up as soon as we get there and finish the briefing."
I frowned. “I didn’t get any message.”
“I know. I asked Garcia to let me wake you.” He turned his head around to look at me. “You haven’t been sleeping, kid.”
He wasn’t wrong. “It’s…I’m trying, Derek.”
I didn’t need to say it, because he knew it. Much like time, recovery isn’t a linear process. You start, you stumble, you go back, sometimes you go up then down. It’s an imperfect journey because there isn’t a finish line; addiction can’t be beaten, only beaten back.
Derek Morgan had been beside me through every step of my recovery.
Lumbering off the couch, he walked over to stand before me. “Reid, you’re doing the best you can. Everyone stumbles.”
I shook my head. “It’s different. I can…I can still see it. I can still see it all, Morgan.”
I could still see the look on Ben’s face when he found the vials of Dilaudid I had hidden all around my apartment. I could still remember the look on Hotch’s face when he told me she was gone. I could still see the anger on Garcia’s face when she refused to help me find her.
Most of all, I remember how y/n looked when I told her I would kill her, give up her precious life, for one more moment with Maeve. Every morning, right before I wake up, that memory flashes behind my eyes.
I’ve called in every favor I’m owed, reached out to every connection; no one could find her. She vanished.
I quickly realized the only way she could vanish like that is if she had help from inside the bureau, and if I had to guess, I’m sure I know who helped her. If she went to all these lengths, she didn’t want to be found, least of all by me.
"We'll find her, Spencer," Morgan said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.
He said the words to comfort me, but even he knew they weren’t true. No one would find y/n y/l/n until she wanted to be found.
Nodding my head, I made my way back towards my bedroom to get ready for the case.
Making amends is very big in the recovery process. I wanted to make amends to y/n, and while I wanted that to be in the traditional sense, I settled for a symbolic one.
I tried to make myself into the man she thought I was before that night. Every time I felt the itch crawl up my spine, I thought of her face. It didn't make the craving go away; it just made it easier to bear.
I didn’t deserve to have her back in my life, but I wanted to be someone who did.
After I had finished getting ready, I made my way over to my bedside table to pick up the coin I carried with me everywhere, running my fingers over the edges before placing it in my pocket.
Two hundred and forty-seven days sober, and each one of them was for her.
--
We never made it to the bullpen that morning. Hotch called and informed us that it was wheels up "immediately," and that we would debrief on the plane. Morgan and I were the last members of the team to arrive. He took a seat on the couch beside Callahan while I opted to sit at the table across from Hotch and JJ.
“Garcia is going to be out for the remainder of the week. She has the flu,” our unit chief informed us, his eyes fixed on the tablet in front of him.
Morgan toyed with his phone, no doubt trying to text his ‘baby girl’ before take-off. “Who is going to be running things from here since she’s out? Kevin?”
Hotch nodded, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed distracted. “He’s the most familiar with Garcia’s systems.”
“Is that what they’re calling it these days,” Rossi muttered just a bit too loudly, earning a mock glare from Hotch, a confused look from Kate, an eye roll from Morgan and JJ, and a soft huff of laughter from me.
“Let’s get started,” Hotch ordered, drawing all of our focus back to the present. “The Oregon State Police have requested our help.”
I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the tablet in front of me, further proof Garcia wasn’t on this case. Despite how mad she was at me over Y/n, she still always accommodated my wishes for paper files.
The state police?” Morgan asked. “Not the locals?”
"No," Hotch answered, right as I brought up an image on my screen. "He's not sticking to one county."
I heard a strangled gasp from JJ, but I didn't need to look up to know why. “How many?” I asked.
“When the original request was made two women had been abducted. Both of them were pregnant, days from giving birth, and both from the same town of Silverton, Oregon. The first victim was Iris Jenkins. She was a 31-year-old woman, and she was 40 weeks and 2 days gestation when she was taken by the unsub. The M.E. estimates he held her for less than 24 hours before she died.”
“The baby?” JJ asked, her voice thick with emotion.
“He was left outside of a local hospital in Silverton. He was completely unharmed. The next intended victim is Nancy Williamson. She was abducted outside her workplace. Also 40 weeks pregnant with a boy.”  
“Could that be a coincidence?”
Hotch still didn’t look up from his tablet. “It could have been before the latest victim.”
“But Nicole Williamson escaped?” Morgan asked. “That’s lucky. Did she give a description of the guy?”
“No, she said he kept her blindfolded and bound to a chair.”
That caused me to pause. "That doesn't make sense. Why would the unsub blindfold them if he plans on killing them anyway?"
Rossi spoke for the first time. “Psychological torture? Sensory deprivation?”
I thought about that as I swiped through the crime scene photos; pausing when I saw a photograph of a letter on the screen. "He makes them write letters?”
“Just the first victim and the third. The one that got away was only held for 12 hours.”
I frowned. “Is this blood? Or just red ink?”
“The first is red ink, the second letter is still being processed.”
It was obvious based on the letter spacing and how many loops were in the letters that a woman wrote this letter. Based on the contents of the letter, I could also assume she was under duress.
Hotch spoke again, pulling my focus. “Morgan, I'd like for you and JJ to drive up to Silverton. Visit Miss Williamson and ask if she's up for a cognitive interview, then visit the M.E., ask him if he remembers anything about the first victim.”
“Where was the…” JJ’s question trailed off when he got to the same image Kate’s hand had been frozen over for the last 47 seconds, the same photo that was described in the incident report that Hotch had on his screen.
My unit chief, my friend, cleared his throat before he spoke. “Kayla Whitmore was found an hour ago in Eugene, Oregon. The autopsies are already underway, and the scene is being processed.”
“The cause of death seems pretty apparent,” Morgan said with a look of disgust on his face.
"The time between this most recent kill and the last abduction is much shorter. We need to move fast," Hotch said, his voice grave. "Kate, I'd like for you to come with me to the FBI satellite office in Bend, that's where we're landing. Kayla Whitmore's credit card was used to buy gas right outside the town limits. Rossi, I'd like for you and Reid to ride out to Eugene. It should be undisturbed."
"I already don't understand this guy," Rossi muttered. "The first baby survives, the third doesn't. The second victim is blindfolded, but it doesn't appear the others were. He makes them write their own letters. Then he uses the third victim's credit card. This behavior…it's erratic."
“Is the message on the wall the same in both crime scenes?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes.”
--
The media hadn’t named our unsub yet, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, especially once word of Kayla Whitmore reached the public. This type of violence always draws attention.
Rossi was moving around the room, silent, but his eyes moving rapidly over everything. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that.”
I nodded. “Do we have the original note?” One of the deputies brought over an evidence bag, inside of it was the wrinkled piece of paper. “Have we analyzed this yet?”
The man nodded. “It’s red ink, just like the last.”
"It makes sense; blood might start to coagulate and make it more difficult to work with. Rossi, come here." I called, offering him the note.
“Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked,” he read. “It sounds biblical.”
“It is. It’s Psalm 82, verses 3 through 4.”
“Was the first note biblical?”
“The first victim was made to write, ‘Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.’ That’s from Ephesians. There are similar themes in both letters.”
“So, he’s perverting the bible to fit his own fucked up narrative? How original.” The older man handed the paper back to me. “We have to find out how he’s choosing them.”
My gaze moved over to the right wall of the room. "Did the unsub leave any prints when he wrote on the wall?"
It wasn't the first message I'd seen written in blood, but I don't think it's something you ever get used to. “’Do you see this, son of man?’ could be another biblical reference. It’s Ezekiel chapter 8, verse 17. “Do you see this, son of man? Yet you will see still greater abominations than these.’”
“So, are the children abominations? Or the mothers?” The deputy said quietly.
“The mothers,” I answered. “He doesn’t harm the children. I think it must go against his…moral code.”
The deputy scoffed behind me, and I was inclined to agree; the idea that someone could do something like this and have a moral code was almost impossible to imagine.
But devils hide in plain sight all the time.
“His rage is escalating,” I pointed out.
I heard the deputy ask Rossi what that meant.
“This guy is a bum,” the man who developed the art of profiling explained. "He can't get a girlfriend, and he has this idea in his mind that it’s the women’s fault. He thinks women owe him sex, love, whatever he wants.”
I walked away from the wall, turning to face the two men. “He thinks they’re dirty, unclean. It’s why he makes them write the note.  By making them say they deserved what he did to them, he’s humiliating them even after death.”
The deputy’s face was pale as he survived the scene around him. “Why does he make them leave the messages in their own blood?”
“Only one message is from them,” I replied, gesturing to the evidence bag. “The message in the blood is from the unsub.”
Before we exited the room, I turned back to that message again, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Both victims had been discovered in the exact same way. The women were naked, stabbed multiple times, but with no signs of sexual assault. They were positioned in the middle of the blood-soaked mattress, their arms spread wide.
He had left the same message on the walls of the room, written in the blood of the woman he killed.
“Do you see this, son of man? Do you see?”
--
“The media is calling him The Prophet.”
Rossi scoffed. “I bet it was that wet behind the ears deputy who leaked the note and told him the kid’s biblical theories.”
Rossi and I had arrived at the FBI office in Bend, Oregon about an hour ago. Kate and Hotch had already set up; JJ and Morgan were on their way back from Silverton now.
“So, what do we know about this jag-off?” Rossi questioned, staring at the evidence board.
Hotch came to stand at the head of the conference table, his eyes sharp, his voice clipped. "Reid, Dave, what did the M.E. say about the Eugene autopsies?”
"He said he suspected it was a botched c-section. Kayla was just over 40 weeks pregnant, but he said it's not uncommon for first-time mothers to go up to 42 weeks.”
“I know that’s right,” I heard JJ mutter from the speaker placed in the center of the table.
“Indicates a lack of medical knowledge,” Morgan offered. “Because we know this guy isn’t squeamish.”
I agreed with my friend but didn't comment on it; my mind already on another topic. "What's interesting is that Kayla had an anterior placenta, meaning it attached to the front of her uterus. Usually, the placenta attaches to the posterior wall, meaning it's more towards her back. Because of the unusual placement of the placenta, I think that the death of this fetus was accidental."  
“It wasn’t a fetus, Reid,” Kate snapped. “It was a baby.”
I cleared my throat, meeting her angry gaze. I knew Callahan was the guardian of a young girl, and based on my years working with fellow agents who were also parents, I knew it was best not to argue about definitions and semantics. "I'm sorry, Kate," I murmured.
Her gaze softened. "It's fine. Sorry. This case is just…this is a lot." She looked down to swipe across her tablet screen. "This child was a boy too?"
I nodded. “All three of the victims were pregnant with boys.”
“So, he wants boys?”
Rossi turned to Kate. “He wants mothers of boys. Probably his way of killing his mother over and over again.”
“But how does he know the babies are boys?” JJ asked.
“So, what do they have in common?” Hotch asked. “Let’s add Nicole Williamson into the mix too, what do we have?”
“There were quotes from the bible in the two complete notes. Those specific verses are often referenced when they speak about protecting children,” I said, my eyes moving over the files. “The women were all in their 20’s. They were all at least 39 weeks pregnant, and...huh, there’s not a father named in any of the medical charts.”
“But how does he know that!” JJ huffed again in frustration.
“And are we sure this unsub is a guy?” Callahan questioned. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”
“If we follow statistics, women take babies, and men take children. With that in mind, it would be safe to assume this was a woman, but the amount of rage we’re seeing makes me think it’s a man.” I turned my back to the team, my eyes moving over the crime scene photos. "The letter was written under duress, but the language is very misogynic. Based on the information Kevin gathered about Kayla's online life, she had a normal amount of self-esteem. It's out of character that she'd talk about herself this way. By all accounts, she was excited for the baby. It's also incredibly difficult to stab someone 54 times. All the women would have fought him until the end. He'd have to be stronger to subdue her. It's a biological instinct, mothers' will stop at nothing to protect their children."
Hotch had pulled out his phone before I finished speaking, dialing Kevin Lynch to give him the criteria of the person we were searching for. "We need women in the Bend, Oregon area that are close to giving birth. There will not be fathers listed on the medical charts. She'll be at least 39 weeks into her pregnancy."
“Alright, so that would leave us with…” Kevin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before an alarm started blaring over the speaker, almost drowning out Kevin’s yelp of surprise.
“What is it?” Hotch asked. “Did something happen?”
"I…I don't know, sir," Kevin answered after he had finally gotten the alarm to quiet. "I was running the search, and…it triggered some sort of system-wide alarm. It completely locked me out of Penny’s system.”
Morgan clicked his tongue. “That doesn’t make any sense. Penelope wouldn’t set some alarm without a reason.”
“Wait. Kevin, was there any sort of message that came up when you triggered the alarm?” Hotch asked, his tone urgent.
There was a weird tension on Hotch’s face while he waited for Kevin to reply. “Yeah, uh, just a dialogue box that says ‘Nightingale.’”
“Nightingale?” Kate asked. “Isn’t that the…”
Hotch didn't reply; he hung up abruptly while Kevin was still speaking. I felt a chill run down my spine when I noticed his hands trembled slightly.
“What is it, Hotch?” Rossi asked urgently.
But he never got a chance to answer; a deputy stormed into the room. "We just got a report of an abandoned car outside of a grocery store about half a mile from here. It's registered to a young woman, and there was an empty infant car seat strapped in the back."
Hotch took the paper from him but didn't look at it. His eyes were screwed shut, and his shoulders were tense.
I heard when the voice spoke on the other end of the line. I heard the deep breath Hotch let out before he spoke.
“Penelope, I need to know where y/n is.”
----------
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Too Hasty//Draco Malfoy x Reader
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A/N: OKAY I’M SO SORRY I JUST LEFT THE WHOLE PLATFORM FOR LIKE A MONTH! Basically, I caught covid-19 (lmao) and have been dying for a few weeks, but today was my first day out of my uni halls and first day back in lessons so I’m back for now. Here’s a cute ass little story for you all, I will be back x
Word Count: 1,818
Set: Post War
Warnings: Literally none, just cute
Harry Potter stood in the door way of the dining room at the back of Grimmauld Place fondly, looking at the people sitting around the table. Hermione and Ron were sat together reading, him noticing her grinning slightly when Ron needed to read a passage of text out loud to understand what it was he was reading. His eyes shifted to George, Luna and Neville who were attempting to balance as many goblets on top of each other as possible, erupting into a fit of giggles when it fell, Luna casually flicking her wand before they made a large bang on the table. He also watched his fiance, Ginny coo at Teddy Tonks who was babbling away in his high chair, using the few words he knew to communicate that he was demanding more pumpkin juice. And finally, Harry smiled as Draco Malfoy attempted to spoon feed Teddy some very odd looking green paste that he’d read encourages toddlers motor skills. When their eyes met they shared a very understanding glance. Teddy giggled as the goop touched his nose, spraying some of it onto Draco, causing the blonde man to grimace slightly but smile at the small boy instead. Harry moved towards the table and began to stack the plates onto one another, moving them into the kitchen.
“Hey Harry, let me help you.” Draco said, wiping Teddy’s dribbling mouth, going to stand, starting to pick up a few of the plates. Harry smiled at him thankfully and the two of them began to wash up the dishes in the kitchen. Harry Potter liked this Draco Malfoy and was amazed at the man he had grown up to be. Since the war- and since Harry had saved him from a stint in Azkaban, Draco had devoted himself to things that brought the world good. He’d trained long and hard to become a Healer, helping to care for vunerable people who were affected by the war, he’d taken on Teddy as his own son, moving in with the Order of the Pheonix to not only care for his second cousin every day but to help his new found friends with their fight against dark magic. Everything about his new life appeared to be perfect, except one thing. As Draco and Harry finished off drying Teddy’s “Chudley Cannon’s” bowl, brought for him by Ron, the shrill sound of the door bell sounded throughout the hall. Harry jumped a little, excusing himself from the others and walked towards the door, right hand resting on his wand that was stuck out of his pocket. He flung the door open. The cool air from the evening night hit his face and a figure that had been waiting patiently away from the door turned to face him.
“Harry!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in. Y/N Y/L/N was stood in the weak evening sunlight, her skin glowing. Her features were so gentle that they seemed painted, her hair was done up, wand stuck through it. She was grinning from ear to ear, skin tanned. 
“Y/N! Come in, come in. You must tell us where you’ve been!” Harry helped her in, taking her suitcases and resting them by the staircase. Y/N entered Grimmauld Place, taking in how much it had brightened up and changed since the last time she’d visited. She wondered into the dining room, exchanging hugs and greetings with her friends, all of them exclaiming how amazing she looked and how much they’d missed her. She smiled back at them all, thanking them for their kindness. 
“Oh it’s been amazing! Paris was just beautiful I am so glad I went. I feel like I’ve finally got over-” Y/N stopped suddenly, looking over to the figure who’d just emerged from the kitchen. Draco had been hiding in the darkness of the kitchen, but now was stood awkwardly in the dining room’s light. “Draco.” She breathed, finishing her sentence. He waved a little, throwing her a tiny smile. She didn’t respond. Pretending she hadn’t seen it, she continued with her anecdote, animatedly telling the group about her world traveling, her visit to most of the wizarding Ministries of Magic and her new career editing the Daily Prophet. The group listened intensely, hanging on her every word, Hermione keeping her eye on Draco as he stared nervously at his feet, remaining at the door. Y/N also told Teddy about the creatures she’d met from other countries, taking pride in the way he glowed. The conversation came to an end.
“Will you be staying Y/N?” Ginny asked grinning, “please say you’re staying!” Y/N laughed at her best friend.
“If it’s not any trouble, I can always go to the Leaky Caul-”
“No way.” Hermione said firmly, “you must stay here.” With that, Hermione took Y/N’s hand and led her up the stairs, Ginny and Luna following behind. Hermione took them into one of the spare bedrooms, where Luna’s bed was already set up and waved her wand, creating a new blow-up style bed on the floor. Y/N thanked her gently, throwing her heavy bags down by the dresser. The girls stayed for a while, making themselves comfortable in the room. They sat in silence.
“I didn’t know Draco was living with you now.” Y/N said quietly, making sure her face remained neutral. 
“Yeah,” Hermione said, fidgiting with her sleeves, “he’s lived with us ever since his charges were dropped.” Y/N nodded quickly, going back to unpacking her bags. 
“I’m sure Y/N doesn’t want to be bored by chat of her ex fiance.” Ginny slightly snapped, pulling Hermione with her, nearing the door. “We’ll let you sleep now, goodnight girls.”
Once they left, Y/N and Luna got ready for bed, exchanging slight chat as they did so, Luna very interested in Y/N’s travels.
“You know,” said Luna quietly as they both snuggled up into the covers, “Draco really is quite different now.” Before turning over and closing her eyes dreamily. Y/N huffed a little, turning over herself.
“Let’s not be too hasty.” Y/N mumbled, huffing again before going to sleep.
XXXX
The morning came quickly for Y/N who’d spent most of the night awake. At five in the morning, she slipped out of bed, putting on her dressing gown and gently plopping down the stairs. She wandered into the kitchen quietly, trying not to disturb the sleeping house. As she went towards the kettle, a figure moved out into the light, causing her to jump slightly. 
“Draco!” She whispered, clutching her chest. He smiled at her softly, a small baby bottle in his hand, which he was shaking. 
“How are you?” Draco asked, running a pale hand through his platinum hair, letting it hang messily in front of his eyes. “I feel like yesterday was a bit of a um shock for us both.” Y/N looked awkwardly, filling the kettle up with water, tapping it with her wand.
“Yeah it was a little odd, I mean last time I saw you you were a death eater and now you’re some kind of fucking saint.” As the words left her mouth, she watched his face fall. Her hands shot up to her mouth. “I’m sorry....I-”
“I can hear Teddy crying for his bottle,” Draco whispered horsely, pushing past her as he left the kitchen, “I’ll see you later.” Y/N watched him leave, unsure of what to say. She continued to make her tea, eyes threatening to spill tears as she sat at the table. Her owl flew in through the window, dropping the Daily Prophet onto the table top. She thanked it, before settling down to read in the morning sunlight.
XXXX
When the rest of the house arose, they were rushing around getting ready for work. Knowing Draco would be staying home all day with Teddy, some of the gangs attempted to haul her to work with them, George explaining how much he’d love to have her at the shop, Ginny saying that Y/N would be more than welcome to help referee, but she politely rejected all of them. They left one after another, all looking very important and busy. As Ron shut the door behind him, the last one to leave, the house fell into a sudden silence. Y/N watched from the dining room as Draco played with Teddy, teaching him letters from a small leather bound book. His face was painted in a gentle happiness as he watched the small boy fondly, running his hands through his dark locks. She watched closely as Teddy’s eyes began to flutter close, Draco hauling him up onto the sofa and covering him in a blanket from the chest on the floor. As Draco placed a small kiss on his forehead, Y/N entered, settling on the living room floor and tidying some of Teddy’s toys away.
“Leave that,” Draco said, swatting her away, “I’ve got it.” Y/N shuffled awkwardly from him, letting him squish past to grab the toys. 
“I wanted to say sorry.” Y/N began, looking Draco in the eyes for the first time since last night, “You didn’t deserve that. I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way.” Draco nodded, continuing to tidy up the floor. 
“I’ve not stopped thinking about you.” He slightly whispered. Y/N felt like she’d stopped breathing for a moment. “Not dated, not kissed, not,” he lowered his voice, looking over to Teddy to ensure he was asleep, “fucked anybody else.” 
“Really?” She asked. “Neither have I for the record I couldn’t.” Draco swallowed, looking down at her, where she sat on the floor. 
“I kept my promise to you.” Y/N cocked her head a little confused. He rolled up his sleeve, showing her the nearly faded dark mark that still lay in his skin. “I will counter act my evil until my mark disappears for you.” Her mouth fell open as she watched how he flinched at the sight of his arm. She leant up, Draco allowing her gentle fingers to stroke the mark. 
“For me?” She repeated. 
“You.” Draco watched her carefully as she stood from where she was standing, moving closer to him. He automatically pulled her into him, just like he always had. 
“Kiss me idiot.” She said grinning, allowing him to grab her jaw softly, pulling her into a glowing kiss. She felt her skin heat up as her pressed closer to her bringing her closer and closer. 
“Uncle Dray?” A tiny voice squeaked from the sofa. The two shot round just in time to watch Teddy looking confused at them. 
“Yes Ted?” Draco quickly said, regaining his composure. 
“Is that your new wife?” Teddy asked innocently, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Y/N began to giggle a little, covering her mouth with her hand. Draco began to laugh to, walking over to Teddy and pulling him into a cuddle.
“Let’s not be too hasty hey Ted.” 
688 notes · View notes
spectracully · 4 years
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busy boy.
pairing : fratboy!jaemin x sororitygirl!reader warnings : drinking, mentions of drugs, a bit suggestive (but pls note that this isn’t smut), cursing, mentions of divorce genre : fluff, angst, college!au word count : 2.5k
summary : inspired by chloe x halle - busy boy. basically playing around with the local campus playboy, na jaemin for months is not the best thing, not the worst thing either.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You face yourself in the bathroom mirror, hands gripping the white sink. You saw him, right there. Dancing in the middle of the frat house’s living room with a girl in his arms. Na Jaemin, the boy you’ve been talking with for 3 months now, who recently just texted you “are you up?” on 9.15, and when you replied to him that you’re actually at his frat house, attending the party that Jaehyun hosts, he just texted you back one hour later by saying he’s with his family.
You’re malfunctioning right now, still dazed, don’t know whether it's because of the alcohol, the weed Lucas gave you, or it’s just you- believing his cheap lies. Cause when you think about it, who the fuck leaves the campus, go home and spend time with family in finals month? Yeah, you’re the one who’s dumb here, actually believing his lies. But who blames you for believing in the first place, anyway? You and your sorority sisters have arrived here since 8.30 anyway, an hour and half is long enough to get you lightheaded from the shots you take.
You glanced at your watch, it’s only 11.28 pm. About an hour since you read his text, and practically 34 minutes after you literally saw him. Facepalming yourself, you close the toilet seat and sit above it. It’s not even right in the middle of the night, but it has been a wild ride for you. It’s kinda frustrating when you are the one who actually started this game, you knew Jaemin is hell of a playboy on campus, yet you decided to get some taste of it just because he’s being a real gentleman with sweet words to you. Yeri was actually furious when she saw Jaemin dropped you off at the sorority house a few weeks ago, she warned you that you should dump him before you’re too attached, but you won’t listen. There it is, the fruit of not listening to Yeri’s 40 minutes lecture of how you should avoid men like Jaemin, Lucas, Yuta, Ten, Johnny and Jaehyun in your love life, big disappointment.
Finally catching your breath, you decided that it is time you get back outside, and actually do something about it, rather than being all somber and gloomy. Jaehyun threw a goddamn frat party in the middle of finals month to relax the fellow students’ mind, not for you to dwell on your sadness, in the bathroom. It’s embarrassing. And a disgrace for your sorority.
You head out, spotting Lucas who’s leaning by the counter with Hendery and Jungwoo. They’re probably hitting more blunt and having some existential crisis over a potato chip wrapping. You continue to scan across the house, only to catch a sight of Joy busy making out with Sungjae on the couch. Or Yeri, who’s currently twerking to Doja Cat’s song, totally shitfaced. You sighed, your friends are either high, shitfaced, or sucking a boy’s face out. You really wanna continue your search for your other sisters, but then suddenly a light brown haired boy appears in front of you.
“Hey, y/n, you alright? You look like you’ve been through 4 divorces.” he asks as he stares at you, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I just went through a fucking divorce. With your homeboy.” you answer him absentmindedly, pointing to the black haired boy who is wearing a black-white patterned wool sweater and a red shirt underneath, along with his slate-grey suit pants and a silver necklace. The boy in the topic is currently talking with the girl you saw earlier, being all smiley and shit.
Mark just laughs lightly as he sips his beer, “Oh him? Yeah he’s quite a busy boy. Probably went through countless divorces with half of the campus.” you chuckle at him, he knows what you’re talking about. All these girls never even had a proper official relationship with Jaemin, including you, but always ended up getting a nasty ass divorce without any reason. You know that, but you did not expect that you’d hang on up until now.
“You wanna do something about it?” Mark asks, nudging your elbow. He’s in a helpful mood now, probably because he is still not completely shitfaced or high. You glance at him, giving him a questioned look.
“Well.. I mean I would do it, but what? Kissing you in front of him so that he’ll get jealous? No, Mark. You know that his head is made out of a fucking rock, right?” You answer him, seizing his beer and take a big ass gulp.
“Hey, that’s my beer- What? Kiss you? Gross, dude. If you are looking for that guy, might as well run to Lucas or Jungwoo.” he lifts his eyebrows, slightly engrossed. You laugh at him, he’s a funny guy when he reacts to your silly jokes.
“Do I look like I wanna give you a kiss, Mark? No offense, but I don’t like crackly lipped boys.” you tease him, now he’s pouting and starts touching his lips, “Is it too crackly though? You have a lipbalm or something?” he asks
You continue to laugh while fishing the watermelon lipbalm out from your black leather jacket and pass it to him. He muttered a small thanks. You set the beer aside to the table then face him once more.
“Anyways, what should I do?” you eye him, who is now done applying the lipbalm.
“Drop your drink to the girl or something? Make sure he notices you dude.” he suggests, shrugging his shoulder.
“You’re dumb, Mark. It’ll cause a fucking catfight in the middle of party.” you deadpanned.
“Oh yeah, you have a point.” he swept his hair to the side, glancing at the whole party situation. That’s when you get the idea. Scratch kissing other boys in front of him, it’s probably the right time to call him the fuck out, you already have alcohol running in your system anyways, might as well go all out tonight, since everybody else also seems like already intoxicated by the liquors.
You lightly brush your hair, stretching your neck and praying to god that he’ll forgive you for what you are about to do. “Toodles, Mark. I’ll think a way when I get drunk, soon enough.” you wave him a goodbye, heading to the dining table to get a bottle of vodka, it’s half empty though, considering you’re being pessimistic tonight.
You chug the bottle with no mercy, wishing it’ll bring you straight to intoxication. You start to feel it kicking in, when you finish the last drop of the vodka. Banging the bottle to the nearby table, you make your way to Jaemin, who is currently sitting on the staircase by himself, checking his phone.
“Ooh, busy boy, aren’t you?” you ask him, not giving anymore fucks. He looks up to you, who is currently squinting at him, face reddening from the alcohol heat. He stares at you, biting his lip.
“Y/n. You’re drunk.” he says lightly as he stands up, tucking strands of your hair to the back of your ear. You squirm from his action. As much as you want to punch him in the face for playing with your emotions, you really miss his touch.
“I am not! Jaemiiiiin, why did you lie to meeeee?” you whine loudly to him on purpose, placing his hand on your face, pouting. Your plan worked, a few people turned their heads to you and Jaemin. He just sighs and snorts, smelling the strong liquor scent that slipped out of your lips. You can feel Yeri is probably trying to kill you with her glare, you know how much she hates Jaemin.
“Listen, baby, what are you trying to pull?” Jaemin whispers close to your ear. You’re not that sure whether it’s because of the loud music blasting in the whole house, or it’s just Jaemin’s voice. Whatever it is, your ears are tingling, sending funny sensations down to your spine.
Jaemin is pissed, you know it damn well from his tone, stern and strong. Oh yes, you love it so much, pissing him off, probably you’ll start humiliating him more and more in his own frat home, because that’s what he deserves for playing with you, and some other random girls.
“Don’t baby me, Jaemin! You said you were with your family, and then I saw you with some random girl!” you shout. At this point, you don’t really care about what others think of you, because they can clearly see you’re being drunk and probably will shrug it off. If that’s what it takes to call Jaemin out in a huge crowd, then you’ll take it. You have nothing to lose, anyway, they’ll agree with you, they all know Jaemin is a big flirt.
And there it is, the anger and humiliation fills Jaemin up. He pulls your wrists, practically dragging you upstairs. You liked it, don’t know why, it’s just fun, making him mad when it’s actually you, who should’ve been mad in the first place. He rushes you to get into his shared bedroom with Jeno and Renjun. Amused, you quickly sit on his bed, acting like you’re dumb.
He shuts the door behind him, crossing his arms. “What’s this all about, baby?”
You snort, “I think you know, Jaemin. You’ve been messing around me for 2 months- or what, I actually lost count because you’re such a busy boy.”
He widen his eyes, “I don’t-”
“Oh shut up, are you surprised that I actually last longer than all your pretty girls?” you stand up, you can’t contain the anger anymore.
“Listen, baby, I-”
“I said, don’t baby me when you do that to probably other 7 girls!” you shout, glaring at him, who is currently freezing on his space.
He sighs and sweeps his hair in frustration, licking his lips. “Will you listen to me first, at least?”
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms while glancing at his study desk. Nicely decorated, and you can see his family photograph neatly placed in a small frame. You noticed that he’s quite a reader too, judging from his book collection compared to Jeno and Renjun.
“First, I gotta admit, you last longer than other girls, yes. And second, it’s because I want to keep you-” he starts, taking a seat next to you,
You scoffed, “Keep me? You think I’m some kind of puppy that follows you around, Jaemin? You’re being such a dick right now! Do you think that I’m just some kind of wh-”
“Can you not interrupt me, baby? I’m talking.” he growls, placing his hand to your thigh. You can feel your cheeks heat up from his actions. Jaemin, being Jaemin, can sense that you’re actually flustered, he lightly squeeze your thigh, just to see your cheeks redden even more. God, he’s such a flirt.
“But first, I got to be honest with you, I was torn between ghosting you or continuing. That explains the lie a lot.” he clears his throat, looking into your eyes. You’re not giving him a reaction (except the fact that you’re already as red as a fucking cooked lobster from his hand placement), just like he said, don’t interrupt him.
“I mean- after all those messing around, I grow tired of it. I-I don’t even want to flirt anymore, I want to be comforted.. Those girls, those people.. They know I’m not serious and they do the same, y/n. We just kinda.. Have a good time and dipped.”
You’re still sitting in silence, eyes fixed on Jaemin, who now looks flustered. This is not Jaemin at all, he’s usually cocky, cheeky, and flirty, just exactly like a few seconds ago. He usually throws wink here and there, but now he actually looks… vulnerable.
“I was surprised you’re still holding on for like 3 months.. Those girls won’t even last for 2 days, y/n. It’ll end up me ghosting them or vice versa, no one ever had a second date with me. But you, you can’t seem to give up when I’m not replying, don’t you?” he chuckles as he looks at you softly,
You giggle at him a little, “Yes. I’m THAT dumb, Jaemin.” you admit to him. In reality, you know it, you know when he’s not replying, he’s probably with some other girls. But you are being deadass, you just don’t know what possessed you, you just keep on texting him like it’s nothing.
He rubs the back of his neck, “I was actually scared that you’ll dump me when I develop actual feelings to you.. Or worse, what if I break your heart after we have something? I mean, if I have to, I’d break it now, so the pain is not too harsh. That’s why I keep on lying to you, and maybe, not replying to your messages.”
At first, you feel bad from hearing him speak truthfully. But after he opened his mouth again, you can feel the anger slowly rising again through your veins. He is very very selfish and self-centered. Is this how he show his true color? A man with a big ego? That’s it?
You tilted your head, “Fuck you. Really. Then why did you start the conversation, Jaemin? You could’ve told me how you felt and we’re set. But I can see-”
He shakes his head, interrupting your words, “I-I told you, y/n. I’m very torn between wanting to pursue you, or letting you go. That’s why I often not replying right after I texted you. I’m sorry, I really do.”
You’re angry. You’re sad. But you’re confused that you’re a little happy too, hearing him speak from the bottom of his heart. But that’s very selfish of him, doing those acts to you. He could’ve told you what he actually feels way earlier than this, so you can make sure what are you two doing, instead of playing pointless games of ghosting and chasing around again.
“I see. You’re so fucking selfish, Jaemin. We talked for months and this is all I got? Am I not worth of your explanation from the start? I know you wouldn’t do anything if I hadn’t drag your ass in the middle of the fucking party!” you stand up, you can no longer hide your disappointment to him, tears start rolling down your face.
His heart breaks a little, watching bundle of tears fall from your eyes. He is the heartbreaker, but those girls were never crying when he ghosted them after they had fun, those girls would catch another boys and forget about Jaemin right away. This is Jaemin’s first ever experience, seeing a girl crying because of what he did.
He knows that he’s an asshole for playing fire, but now he feels like he is THE asshole. He broke your heart right on, and it breaks his heart right back.
You sigh deeply, trying to catch a breath after a few sobs. “Don’t fucking find me. Have fun with your girls.” you look at his eyes with full of anger and hate. With heavy steps, you walk to the door, thinking about things you’re about to do once you get downstairs, probably joining Lucas and the gang, stoning yourself out, so you don’t have to think about Jaemin and his stupid beautiful face.
Just when you try to reach the door knob, you can feel Jaemin is grabbing onto your hand.
“Y/n, I am truly sorry.. After what you did earlier, I realized that I’m a big fucking loser. I can’t even admit my feelings. When you call me out earlier, I just wanna dissolve into thin air. I can’t handle the shame of being such a dick, I should’ve told you what I feel instead of making uncertain decisions.”
You turn to him, seeing his eyes glimmering, probably because of the tears pooling up. You’re hurt, you want to push him away as far as possible, you want to see him suffer. Hell, you just want him to extinct. But seeing him like this, you can’t lie to your own feelings, you like him. You really do. But just like your sorority sisters taught you, yourself comes first, not those stupid silly boys who just fuck around.
“Goodbye, Jaemin.” you say to him, holding back more tears coming in.
Just when you’re getting ready to reach the doorknob for the second time, he pulls you into his arms. You want to let go of him, but he’s strong, and you- actually wanting this for so long. You hate him, but you have feelings for him. You can’t help but stay on his embrace.
And then... There it is, the feels. It comes back, the way you hide yourself from Yeri whenever you pick up his calls, or maybe the late night drive to nearby McDonalds, or maybe flirting through the notes you pass during class, or maybe the first kiss you shared with him in front of your sorority house, and ended up being scolded by Yeri and Joy. 
You realized that it was a stupid crush with the stupid playboy Na Jaemin, but you enjoyed your time with him. You remembered how he likes to send you goodnight selfies, or maybe the way he pouts a lot when driving. Those 3 months of on-and-off-unofficial-relationships with him, is actually making you feel things.
“Y/n, I know I don’t deserve you, but really.. This time, I mean it. I promise, I won’t mess around. Please, I know I’ve been such a dick, but if you just give me one more chance, y/n..  But I completely understand, if you hate me, and you probably want to slam me to death, and I will allow you-”
You look up to him and grabbed his face, crashing his lips into yours. He tastes like cherry soda, with a hint of cigarettes. He seems like enjoying the kiss, he cupped your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. You can feel his hands travel around your body, only to land in your hips.
You want to trust him this time. He promised you. He meant it. He will take care of you. And you trust him, this time. 
“Alright, busy boy. I do want to slam you, though... But remember, just because you’re so damn fine, I won’t even think twice to dump your ass if you act up.” you warn him.
The tears you shed just bloomed into giggles and smiles. The inconsistency between the 3 months before finally disappeared, and reborn again into a new promise.
He nods. “Believe me baby, you’re the one who wants to be slammed right now.” he teases you, glancing to his bed. You can feel your cheeks reddening again, you lightly hit him, and he laughs. He’s a cheeky boy.
“Busy boy, huh?” he giggles, “Your busy boy.”
The anger within you is released now. No more chasing around like a fool, no more getting late replies from Jaemin, no more nights of hoping that he’d reply, because he’s only busy for you now.
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