#Just me realizing things 8 years after playing the game. You know. As one does.

[findmeabowloftrash-blog]

am I the only person who never realized that Mettaton's EX form... is a glamour??

It's not his true from, it's not sustainable, and it's magical (by nature, since all monsters are).

And Death by Glamour... he runs out of batteries if you're doing neutral (and don't kill him) or pacifist. "Death" by means of his glamour.

Are you kidding me

[sophies-junkyard]

NOBODY ASKED but… Obviously Simon’s arc in adventure time solidified the series as one of greatest of all time (and I’m so hyped for this ice king sadness renaissance) but now I’m thinking of OTHER Adventure Time moments that rewired my brain as a kid. In no particular order:

1. “Once the strong guys got it how they liked it they said ‘this is fair now. This is the law.’ Once they were winning they changed the rules”. They really had the cartoon dog say that on tv in 2014.

2. “People get built different. We don’t have to understand it, we just gotta respect it”

3. The entirety of All The Little People. That shit was absolutely nuts for a kids show but also like…. I can’t articulate the lesson I just know there was one and it haunted me. The danger of the human ego. Hubris. Irreverence. Don’t play god bro.

4. Lady and Peebles. When PB ripped Ricardio’s leg off and bashed his skull in with it. And it was so hardcore they edited it out of the episode. Bro. I remember watching that after school one day and how my jaw just DROPPED at a PRINCESS being so brutal. They let her be so fucking angry and that was a game changer.

5. [Finn, about a horrific memory] “that one’s going in the vault. Aaaaaaaaaandd. It’s gone.” I quote that CONSTANTLY. It’s a great way to bring levity to a bad situation, but also forces me to go “hey wait a sec that’s not gonna work forever”. Things don’t stay in the vault.

6. Puhoy. He lived an entire life in that pillow world. He had kids. And then it’s just gone like a dream.

7. The deer. It was probably my first real introduction to horror. The hand wiggle. You all know exactly what I’m referencing. Were the candy people stuck in that well for 6 months???

8. What Was Missing!! Obviously now because it foreshadowed (and confirmed past) Bubbline, but back then just because it was so good??? IMO, this is the episode that defined WHO our main cast was, and how their relationships needed to grow for them to be content. It set up the next 6 years of the show! Plus it gave us 2 absolute BANGERS. Ugh i rewatched that recording so many times it wasn’t even funny.

9. Ghost Princess. Really just for the line where he sounds like he’s gonna shit his pants remembering his death and then in a clear narrator voice he’s like “I was a broken man.”

10. The pajama war episode. Now I’m doing this from memory so I could be wrong, but I think this really marks the start of Finn growing up. “I’ve really enjoyed just… hanging out with you.” The ability to start over with someone you’ve got complicated history with. The kindness. The growth from both of them!! It’s a direct parallel of episode 1 but their tones couldn’t be more different and I love it.

11. The slow and horrifying realization that The Mushroom War was nuclear Armageddon. Mushroom clouds. That went so far over my head as a kid even though they reference it constantly. It finally clicked during “I remember you”. Which I am NOT gonna go into because holy fuck that’s like 18 posts on its own.

12. Goliad! A child mirroring EVERYTHING they see, for better or worse. Seeing Jake in a bad moment screaming at the kids and goliad absorbing that behavior. Seeing she can use fear to control people. Also PB was Fucking Crazy! Her line “I’m not gonna live forever… I would if I could” is even more unhinged when we learn (like years later) that she’s already 900 years old. But she does physically age so I guess there’s that. The Suitor also falls into this category of episodes.

Ok getting into some of the more talked about moments

1. OK I LIED I have to talk about I remember you. I was 11 years old. I turned on the new adventure time episode like usual. 10 minutes later I was grappling with a grief I had never imagined before. Absolutely BAWLING not just for Simon and Marceline (the PLOT), but for what it showed me. The reality that every kid tries not to think about: your loved ones will leave you someday, even if they don’t want to. It’s an episode that becomes more powerful with every year I get older. To get a bit personal, dementia has completely taken my grandparents from me. I’ve seen sides of my grandfather that should never have existed, and I must constantly forgive him for what he does… now that he doesn’t remember me. And someday it’ll be my parents. That’s just the way of the world, ya know? Anyways, I remember my mom got home right as the credits were rolling and we had a long talk about keeping people alive with memory, mortality, and how the future was far away and we should decide on dinner lmao.

2. The Hall of Egress. I was almost 15. Life was changing. I was changing, and it was strange and frightening. That feeling where you know you’re losing your childhood but you just want to cling to it. Follow the same old familiar path, stick with what’s comfortable. But life doesn’t work that way. It took me years to really understand this episode and it’s symbolism. Honestly I still don’t think I could fully explain it. It’s like. How do I put this. I was so glad to be in the target age group in that moment. I was so glad that something I was growing up with was assuring me “you’re changing, but we’re changing too”. And isn’t that the theme of adventure time? Everything stays, but it still changes.

3. The absolute horror of Ferns existence. He’s Finn, but he’s wrong and warped. All those memories of the people he loves and they can’t stand to be in the same room as him.

4. Susan Strong. The introduction of a RUNNING PLOT. The show up to that point had really been so goofy and so monster of the week. I think the only really plot heavy episode before this one was It Came From the Nightosphere? And then suddenly they call into question the fact that Finn really is the ONLY HUMAN in all of OOO. And then… is he? It was SUCH a departure from the usual tone. Ending that episode with him reaching below her hat and gasping in shock, but never telling the audience what he found. And then she’s just gone. Which leads us to Islands!

5. Min and Marty. Second saddest episode in the entirety of adventure time, made worse because you know exactly how this family is gonna end up. There’s SO MUCH to dissect about Martins behavior in the series. A reformed con artist receives a traumatic brain injury while attempting to save his son. They’re both lost at sea, and he never looks for him. Was it the emotional trauma? Was it the physical damage? Meanwhile a mother loses her husband and her child in a single night and never EVER learns why. Nobody but Martin knows what happened that night. Also Finns fear of the ocean from season 1 is finally explained. 7 years of ignoring Finns origins and then they throw you THIS??? Watching it live was unreal.

Anyways I’m sure I’ll think of more. I might add on to this later for my own sake lmao, but I’d love to hear other peoples formative moments, quotes, episodes, etc. I really just needed to dump this information out of my brain so I can get on with my week.

[p-wrryyy-mordial-soup]

Hiiii :3 heres my pack of losers (my x-rank team) because i needed ghost to actually have a team :]. heres a link to all my splatoons on toyhouse

seperate refrences, little blurbs about them and color alts where they all share eachothers colors below the thang v enjoy my word vomit idk how to write character stuff out teehee

sorry his ref is a year old and rushed for artfight </3 also the age is wrong i think i changed it to 23

he's from around where the deepsea metro is/was. had to leave because of unstable surroundings from an unknown to him cause. he's best friends with Rust and her kids, im gonna be honest i haven't actually thought through how they met and ive just realized this oops. since he spent most of his life underground and now lives in the splatlands he gets sunburnt way too frequently to not be covered up constantly, though he wears thing like tank tops and shorts during splatfest since those mostly occur during the night.

He met wisteria and ember first and then 72. they didnt apoint him as leader nor do they really care to have one but he's the tallest so everyone assumes its him. he's the most softspoken out of the 4 of them but thats a really low bar, he has a hard time making decisions but once he does he will die on that hill

(since its not on his ref like the other three)

72 escaped the metro before agent 8 went through it, he had found a memcake that was dropped after a test giving him just a clear enough mind to think for himself some. he ended up finding his way out after a while of accumulating a couple more memcakes, barely any where his though so hes walking around with memories that aren't his. It also took him a while to get used to the fact he isnt a soldier nor a test subject anymore. If he saw another sanitized mollusk he'd probably hide or run away </3.

72 met Ghost while after wandering around the area for a while, and ended up crashing in his car the whole time on ghosts way back to the splatlands (he thought 72 was like, drunk or something since he was tumbling around and seemed to be not the most coherent). he doesnt blink or breath unless hes actively thinking about it :[.

he had a hard time discerning things for a while but hes gotten better, at first he thought ember was just a weird octoling because she wears the old octoling goggles. we beat the evil soap with friendship in this house!!!

personality wise hes pretty hyper and cheerful which isnt usually your first thought upon seeing a zombie, forgot his age but hes an adult, he was encouraged to pick his own birthday :]

I have the least down for him at the moment, there will be more on her prommy </3 she's 21

She's a callie superfan with a vulgar sense of humor, usually the one who purposefully makes other players angry. born and raised in the splatlands she knows all the places to hide and get you lost in.

he's been friends with ember the longest, they where online friends until ember moved to splatsville. was introduced to ghost and 72 later by ember, he likes to antagonize 72 (think sibling antagonizing, theyre both in on it). down to fist fight you in the back of a waffle house

Originally from the inkopolis outskirts, they're 31

Ember's both a video game and turf/anarchy streamer, she has camera in their goggles for the latter. bad habit of talking in twitch/internet lingo outside of streaming. Once she has eyes on something its nearly impossible to get her to do something else. Very friendly outside fighting, will give you nice words and a pat on the back after a game whether they won or not.

met ghost while playing turf war in a random que, he was, in her words, "a bit to intense to be playing in turf" and told him after the game that he should try out anarchy, he was scared of it since he was new to the area. they ended up teaming up and playing a couple games together, later inviting wisteria and eventually 72.

theres def more to these guys but it will take me a long time to get the words in my head to cooperate 🙏im better at answering specific questions about things then coming up with what to write myself

have some color alts :3

[carusolikey]

The Blue Hour

a Max Phillips & Bloodsucking Bastards FanFic

Chapter 2: Oh - Hi, Mark. How's Your Sex Life?

After Max took Mr. Rochester and held him hostage, he’s decided to make good on his threat - but not without playing with his food first! Teasing out his secrets, it’s a wonder we don’t keep him on a shorter leash. Oh, these wicked games, Max - if he loses, he’ll probably just put what’s owed on his tab. Although, to his credit, this rakish fellow does know there’s a time and a place to be cruel and a time to be kind. Let’s just say, in the words of Fiona Apple, he’ll let you use his skin, to bury secrets in - things are definitely going to get a little hot and heavy in here. Reader beware, you're in for graphic fare!

Pairing: Max Phillips of Bloodsucking Bastards x afab!fem!reader

Rating: Explicit / NSFW 18+ (No Minors)

Author’s Note: I wrote this piece during the month of April 2024 - Adenomyosis Awareness Month, and the idea came to me during March 2024 (Endometriosis Awareness Month). This will not have any type of pregnancy kink, but will touch on infertility of OC due to the aforementioned; canon for this story is also that Vampires are infertile - there will be no Renesmé. OC is intended to be around the same age as Max, reader’s choice up or down, but no age gap. Because older afab/fem lovers are sexy - we drink and we know things.

Warnings: This will continue to be a blanket coverage of this point forward.

A bit of rough sex/smut (fingering, fem penetration - P in V, oral [m + f receiving]), food play, 18+ only content, able bodied fem afab reader, alcohol consumption, non-gendered pet names, fem can be carried and has hair - though length is not mentioned, consensual "bondage", some use of y+n - but not explicitly, though consensuality is implied and intended through actions and reactions, no protection used for Vampire reasons TBD (be wise and always use protection, this is fiction). Did attempt to stay away from gendered pronouns and nicknames, although did use the word woman, 3 times throughout the entire piece (not fully published yet) referring to OC. Discussion of history of endo / adeno, and future chapter will mention previous relationship / SA; there will also be Vampire hunting, murdering, and blood….sucking bastards.

Wordcount: 13k + a few, but who's counting?

Return to the Masterlist!

The next evening, when I woke up, I started receiving a bunch of texts from Max. Just one right after the other. By the time I realized he had been sending them, I had 40 new texts from him.

Thirsty much? I scoffed.

And then I clicked on the text thread and gasped, covering my mouth. Oh no. 

Each text was a picture of Max outside of a specific apartment with a huge grin, either with a single person or a whole family, holding Mr. Rochester and variously captioned, “Doesn’t belong to them!” - “Not these people, either!” - “This guy will take it if we can’t find the owner!”

Scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling - the Cullins family, old Mr. Feeney, little Old Mrs. White whose husband just passed away last year, the Partridge family with all of their little kids. This was a nightmare!

I mean, eventually, I will probably laugh at this, but right now I could sink into the ground. Groaning, I buried my head under the covers and practiced mindful breathing - 8 seconds in, hold for 8, breathe out for 8. Camped under the covers, I had just started to find my calm, when my phone gave off another singular glow, “Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. All day.” From Max. 

Okay. Heart rate increasing, but in a good way. I can work with this. I sent him a non-committal gif of Kathryn Hahn in WandaVision, throwing a sassy wink, and tossing her head back in an adorable giggle. Yeah. Yeah. That’s good, I think. Or I still have things to work on in therapy? Six of one, half dozen of the other! Then I winked and tossed my head back in an adorable giggle.

These pictures of Max with Mr. Rochester and various people throughout the building continued on until the next evening, and the evening after that. To say that I was not a fan, would be an understatement. I persevered and honestly, gave some of my best narrative performances of sexual tension and duress while recording.

The author reached out to me, letting me know they were very happy with my work, and that they would be adding a male narrator for that character’s chapters. To be honest, I was a little relieved. It could be challenging to find the right pitch and timbre for masculine voices. But even more importantly, I was a bit of a wreck. I needed a break.

Would it be fair to call what Max was doing psychological torture? I wasn’t convinced that he was doing it intentionally, and my confused attraction to him technically isn’t his fault. My own hormones and body have been so out of whack since my insomnia set in, it would hardly be fair to place the enigma of my intricate chemical fluctuations on him.

Why am I thinking about this so much? You know exactly why you’re thinking about this so much - he has a name, and it’s not Max. I physically and mentally waved my thoughts away, as I poured 160º F water over two bags of Yerba Mate in one mug.

Strolling around my apartment, I spotted my shake weight, and set down my cup of tea. Perfect - now lefty can become a lean, mean, orgasm machine! I picked up the shake weight with my left hand and started shaking it - almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. Um, no one knocks on my door without an invite, I thought to myself. Peeking through the peephole, I saw Max, who gave a wave.

Weird, he must’ve just seen my shadow cross the peephole. I opened the door with my right hand, shake weight still absentmindedly shaking in my left hand.

His eyes widened and his grin pulled up to one side, revealing his dimple, “I’m not sure exactly what’s happening here, but I like it!”

Taking notice of my left hand, I realized that I was shaking the weight directly towards my mouth in a rather hilariously obscene manner which, to be fair, seems like an intentional design flaw. 

Putting the weight down immediately and plastering my best customer service smile on my face, I greeted Max, “How may I help you today?”

“I like the sound of that.” he took a deep breath in, “As much as I’d like to seek your help, I’m actually here to provide,” he emphasized.

“Oh, indeed?” I stepped back as he leaned against the doorframe, getting a bit closer to me, and I put my left hand on my hip.

“Indeed.”

From behind his back, he pulled out Mr. Rochester.

“Seems this fellow has no home. Looks like you can either adopt him or send him to the pound.”

The way he said that with a sneer was downright dirty, and I gave him a look letting him know it.

“BUT –” interjecting before I could, “I was wondering what you were doing this evening.”

“Well, I did just get off the phone with the author of the series I’ve been narrating, and it seems my part is done for the time being.” I said, giving a shrug. “I’m between projects at the moment.”

“Interesting, and coincidentally perfect timing. How do you feel about going to a midnight showing of a terrible movie?”

“That’s not a particularly alluring invitation, I think I’m gonna have to hot pass that one.”

“Hot pass?”

“Yeah. Hot pass. Not a days-old hard pass that’s been left out, getting dry and crusty. A hot pass served straight from the oven, farm to table, I didn’t need to sit on that at all, it’s ready when you are, made to order, HOT PASS.”

“When you say it that way, how could one resist?”

“And yet, that’s what a hot pass in essence is - I’m resisting, Max. Hot. Pass.”

“I promise you, it’s a cult classic! The theater serves booze, there will definitely not be any children there - if you don’t have fun, I’ll owe you.”

My ears pricked up. Owing. Interesting. Sounds like I can’t lose. I raised my eyebrows in deliberation. What do I do now? Cold Take? No, that’s not the opposite of a Hot Pass - I’ll have to work that out later.

“I accept!” I grabbed my spring jacket, my little purse wallet, and my keys.

“Excellent,” in his excitement, Max gave me a kiss on the cheek as I passed by him on the way out of my apartment, causing me to blush and turn around suddenly, walking directly back into him. He was a wall of a man, and as I started to fall backwards, he caught hold of me by the waist, steadying me.

“I would love to not be the reason for another personal injury to you,” he said, chuckling.

Startled by the sudden upheaval of being swept up into his arms upon impact, I found myself resting my right arm on his left, and gripping his tie tightly in my left hand. He appeared undisturbed, and I noticed that he’d dressed up in another three-piece suit, for this spontaneous date? His silver-gray button-up struggled at the seams under his muscles, yet appeared to move fluidly with him. It was certainly a well tailored suit, I thought as my jaw slackened, eyes moving to the muscles tensing in his neck as he pursed his lips, preparing to speak. 

“We’ve got a movie to get to.” His eyes moved from my face, down to his tie and he smirked as he looked at my hand, clutching desperately at him. Raising his eyebrow, he said, “Save that for later, Sweetness.”

I let go immediately - and he let go slowly, gently. 

“Oh my god,” I shook my head, and led the way to the elevators, realizing as I passed the hall mirror that I was significantly underdressed compared to Max. 

Wearing my favorite classic baby tee with a pic of Jake Ryan from 16 Candles on it that says, “I ❤️ Jake Ryan”, a monochromatic gray striped peasant skirt, and some white leather Doc creeper loafers, I asked him, “Before we go - do I need to change? I just threw this on, and did not give a second’s thought to just leaving with you immediately as is. I kind of feel like an asshole, because you’re –” I gestured to his sharp ensemble.

He shrugged, “I think you look great –” pausing to look me over completely, his eyebrow going up slightly as his mouth opened slightly, letting his tongue stick out.

“But I would never tell you what to do.” Recovering somewhat quickly, he gave me a wink before hitting the down button.

I tried asking more questions about the movie on the way down, but Max would not budge, verbally. Physically, he managed to get closer and closer to me, intoxicating me with his pheromones yet again. It was a short walk to the dingy theater, where the midnight showing was of a movie called, The Room, which I’d thought was a movie starring Brie Larsen, but Max assured me - was not, in this instance.

The acting was terrible. The story was confusing, and maybe a bit upsetting, the sets were certainly a choice. It was absolutely hilarious, I spent most of the movie laughing out of pure surprise and delight at the absurdity. I could feel Max looking over at me in the dark, and smiling every time I laughed, pleased that I was enjoying myself.

As we exited the movie, Max squeezed my hand and asked, “So, what did you think? Are you owed anything for this jaunt?”

“Well. I will admit, Max, true to your word - there were no children present.” I gave him a sneaky little smile, as he gave me a surprised look, “BUT - but, I will also say that I did really have a lot of fun. The movie was absolutely ridiculous, and I’m sure I’ll be quoting it for years to come.”

“Oh, HIIIIII, Doggy!” Max said to me, leaning in.

“Oh, HAI MARK,” I quoted back to him, as he kissed me on the cheek, igniting a new bloom of blush on my neck and cheeks.

“You know there’s more that I want to show you?” My face mimicked a question mark, “Ah, yes! Keep that look of wonderment, for in the basement of this theater,” I scowled at that, and he continued a little slower and calmly, “is a museum, called the Museum of Bad Art.”

“Hmm? What’s that?” I was confused, but intrigued.

“All around this area are different satellite locations of the Museum of Bad Art, and one of them is located here. It’s really terrible art that they’ve collected from local art shows, from Good Will, the Salvation Army, estate sales, just from anywhere they can find it, and it’s stunning in its horrificness.”

Giving him a determined look, I declared, “Bring it on.”

Giving me back an equal amount of sass, Max proclaimed, “Oh, it’s already been broughten.” 

Once we got down to the basement, it was hard to know where to go first, there was just so much. 

Luckily, we came across an easy one - something that could almost have been done by one of the masters, but - maybe not.

“Max, tell me your thoughts on this painting.”

Max stood very still, his arms crossed, and then started nodding slowly, “Yes, I like this one a lot. Cat with overflowing cornucopia, overflowing with lush fruits, I really like how the artist uses the light to highlight –” 

With his intense gesturing and the pause, I took the opportunity to help him out, “To highlight how the cat’s face is too small to be his face? To be the face that goes with that head?”

“Hmmm,” He groaned appreciatively, and then pointed at the painting, “I think that’s it. And I love it.”

We came to the next painting, an old woman in a blue dress in a field of flowers, and Max asked, “What feeling, or sense of ennui are you deriving from this work?”

“Well, Max, my general sense of ‘ennui,’ as it were, and I’d like to thank you for using that word,” he tipped an imaginary hat and did a little bow, mouthing the words ‘you’re so welcome’, “is a little bit confused, because while it appears this older woman is skipping through this field of flowers, she doesn’t appear to be happy about it. She’s got a very placid face, but not in a good way.”

“Hmm, yes. I see that. I find the bright yellow sky to be particularly upsetting. What’s going on back there?”

“Maybe she set something on fire, and she’s doing a crazed skip away from it?”

“I think Grandma’s not cooking pot pie for Grandpa anymore.”

We both hemmed and shook our heads over that tragedy. Poor Grandpa!

The next painting we came to was titled, Sad Monkeys and Woman, but they also had the title in French, which sounded even better, Singes Tristes et Femme. Sadly, the painter was anonymous, and no credit could be given where credit was due.

“Shall we break this down?” Max asked with tempered enthusiasm, making sure that I had a hold of his arm. 

“If we shan’t, I’ll be terribly disappointed.” I leaned in to whisper - matching his intensity.

He nodded, “Excellent. Ladies first.” He gestured towards the painting.

“Well, I don’t understand the need for all of the broccoli florets, but if we can look past that, it seems that the monkeys are sad, and the lady is in a circus tent - but why are the monkeys sad, and why is the woman inside the tent without the monkeys?”

Sighing, furrowing his brow, Max gave it a moment and then replied, “I think it’s a medical circus tent. They’re waiting for test results, and it’s probably not going to be good news.”

A lightbulb went off in my head, “OR, what if, like the saying, ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ they just got their 23 and Me results back and it’s her circus –”

“But not her monkeys?” Max finished my thought, and we turned to each other and both said, “SAD MONKEYS!” and then made fake sad faces at each other.

We passed by a particularly disturbing painting of Joan Crawford, and I gasped, “Oh, Joan! What have they done to you?”

“Derivative.” Was Max’s passing response.

Kismet, it seems, brought us to a final portrait that appeared to depict none other than Molly Ringwald herself.

“What would you say is happening here?” I asked Max, gesturing towards the painting.

“I’d say that Molly Ringwald is battling a little cherub baby angel over one shoulder, and some sort of Mrs. Doubtfire inspired crone over the other shoulder.”

“Aha - the recurring duality of good versus evil, and of course, humanity represented by - Samantha, from 16 Candles?”

“Naturally.” Max nodded, “Who better? Although, I wonder if you would call it coincidence or serendipity that you’re wearing a 16 Candles shirt and we’re happening upon art with the very same subject matter?” We started to walk out of the museum and the theater, heading back towards the apartment complex.

Passing him an eye roll, “Coincidence, definitely. Although, I didn’t take you as someone who would consider anything serendipitous,” I looked at him curiously.

He shrugged, giving a snarky look back at me, but also kissed my hand, “I take what life hands me. Sometimes more.” He smirked and gave a chuckle, “Whatever happens, happens, sometimes - I think life has a way of surprising you. But listen - do you really love Jake Ryan?”

I burst out laughing, “What?! He’s a fictional character, and from a movie that has not aged well, at that.”

“Why do you have that shirt then?”

“I mean –” I shook my head a little, “it’s the persistent idea of Jake Ryan. Sitting cross legged, kissing over a flaming birthday cake? Yes, please. But, also - the one. The one who doesn’t forget your birthday, who sees you in a sea of others, who treats you like you matter - the fantasy of being someone to another person. To have passion that is reciprocated. Jake Ryan is a state of mind.”

By that point, we’d reached the entrance of the apartment building. Max paused, taking in what I’d just said.

“I’m sorry - that was a lot, and again, it’s just that over-romanticized ideal. You know, imprinted teenage crush.” I’d started apologizing, taking Max’s silence as a sign that I’d said too much, been too much.

“Hey, hey,” He shook his head and started rubbing my shoulders, “No, it’s a really nice idea. 80’s movies affecting the romantic interests of people over the years, how they react, behave, that’s absolutely valid. How it affected you personally? I mean - I’m happy to hear all about that.”

“Okay,” I smiled, “What about you? Was there any movie that stuck with you over the years of idealized 80s romance?”

Max paused, thinking for a moment, “Say Anything - I thought I could be Lloyd Dobler,” I frowned, “I know, I know. He’s a little, stalky. But he looked so cool holding up that stereo, playing Peter Gabriel. I needed to be him. Or, my younger self needed to be him.”

I nodded, smiling and encouraging him to open up more, but a cold chill ran through me as the temperature dropped, and I involuntarily shivered in my light jacket. Noticing, Max wrapped his arms around me.

“Let’s get you inside.”

We made our way up to the 4th floor on the elevator, and Max walked me to my door. “Thank you so much for tonight, Max.”

“Um, we’re not done.” His features hardened, and he gave me a stern look.

Taken aback, I responded, “I’m sorry?”

“We’re not done - or do you not remember that I brought back the ‘lost device’ tonight?” his hardened features smoothed into something playful, yet foreboding.

“We’re going to figure out what it does.”

My stomach sank, and so did my vagina - both feeling like they had just gone down a really high hill on a rollercoaster. To be honest, I couldn’t decide if I was horrified or excited.

This evening with Max had been exactly what I needed and wanted. We vibed so well with each other, and he made me feel so comfortable being myself, even when he was walking around looking like he did in that suit. I bit my lip a little too hard while thinking about it, and winced, as I tried to think about how I was going to come clean about Mr. Rochester. But what about - ? No. Not tonight. Fuck off ‘what ifs’ and ‘what abouts’. I deserve this. I was resolved.

“Very well,” I said nonchalantly as I put my key in the door lock - Max stood close behind me, putting both hands on my hips, he leaned his head down and sniffed my neck, while the hairs on my body all stood up. For a brief moment, I froze there with my eyes closed, feeling the strength of his hands on my pelvic bones. Until he took one hand off me, and pushed the door open in front of me.

Shaken out of my fog, I walked forward into the apartment, dropping off my keys, wallet, and jacket near the front door. I turned around, and asked if I could get him anything to drink.

“Just you,” he grinned ferociously, and bit his lip. 

I unintentionally laughed nervously, “Okay - I’m assuming you don’t need a glass with that?”

He chuckled and shook his head. Picking up Mr. Rochester, he handed it to me, “Are you ready to get to work?”

The way he said it was commanding, strict, the type of question that deserved the exact answer I gave, “Sir, yes sir.”

When he heard that, he stood up a little taller, a little straighter, his pants leaned a little bit more to the left, as he took off his jacket, unbuttoned and rolled up his sleeves, keeping his tie and vest on, clenching and unclenching his jaw.

As I held Mr. Rochester in one hand, Max reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. I pouted a little, confused as to why he would need to check his phone right now.

“You said that this might be a bluetooth compatible microphone for recording things on TikTok, so I paired it with my phone.” Oh no. My face dropped. “Oh yes, yes I did. Let’s see if it works. Why don’t you sing into it for me?”

“What should I sing?”

“You can sing whatever you like.”

I felt Mr. Rochester start to buzz lightly, and I had a terrible, wonderful idea for which song to sing, but I knew that if I did it, there would be no turning back.

Picking up my phone, I connected to my speakers, flicked on Joan as Police Woman’s cover of Whatever You Like and started singing into Mr. Rochester.

“Stacks on deck, Patrón on ice. We can pop bottles all night. Baby, you can have whatever you like. I said you could have whatever you like,” Max’s mouth dropped into an open grin, mesmerized as I moved my body to the music. He turned Mr. Rochester up, as I dragged it down my body, “Late night sex, so wet, you’re so tight. I’ll gas up the jet for you tonight. Baby, you could go wherever you like. I said, you could go wherever you like.”

But then I bent my right elbow and yelped, holding it in pain. Fuck. Did this have to happen right now? I can play through it, yeah. I’ll just play through it. I lamented that I might not be able to have the necessary grip for all the things I’d been wanting to grip all night long. I opened my eyes, and Max’s crotch was in my face, definitely available, but he immediately bent down on the floor next to me.

“I’m going to fix this for you.”

He lifted his hand to his mouth, and with much larger incisors than I remember seeing (have I not been doing a good job of paying attention to him ?), he bit into his finger, and then removed my bandage. Taking his bloody finger, he rubbed it all over my bruised and slowly healing elbow. As he rubbed his finger over it, the bruise started to fade, the scars began to disappear, and in a matter of moments the whole area looked as though I had never injured it. I took a closer look at it, then bent my elbow up and down, back and forth, and it was completely fine.

I looked up at Max, completely baffled. “What just happened? What did you do?”

“I could make you forget that you ever fell and hurt yourself but, I’m not going to risk the brain scramblies. I want you to know the truth.” 

“Good, I’d love to be privy to the inner workings of your life.”

He chuckled, “It’s a little bit more complicated than that,” he bared vampire fangs at me, and I scooted back, “Oh! No, no. I’m not going to hurt you,” his face looked so sad, as he reached his hand out, palm open towards me. “It’s basically a medical condition - extreme iron deficiency and sun allergy.”     

 I mean, I was definitely familiar with medical conditions - I was living a version of vampirism already, in constant darkness. Taking a beat, I decided to hear him out and nodded for him to continue, taking his hand.

“It happened on a business trip to Staten Island, I was hanging out with some clients at a club, showing them the area –”

“Staten Island? Really?” I interrupted.

“Yeah, you’d be surprised,” He seemed a bit squeamish about it, which was a first, “Anyway… this extremely crusty looking, yet very stately, oddly attractive fella - sounded like he was from an older European country, super weird, wearing a New Jersey Devil’s hat. Well, he interrupted our drinks with clients and turned me, out of nowhere. Afterwards, I never received any guidance for my unholy transition, I just had to figure it out on my own.”

“Oh my goodness.”

I clutched his hand tighter, searching his face for a signal, trying to figure out what he needed from me. He seemed so down, and he had done so much for me, so I decided to give back to him by opening up and being honest with him.

“Max?”

“Hmm?”

“I want to open up to you as well, and in the spirit of honesty, I have a confession.”

His face immediately perked up as he prepared to hear what I had to say to him.

“I know what that device is that I was singing into,” he bit his lip and raised his eyebrows, in what we’ll all pretend was surprise. “It’s Mr. Rochester.”

Then he actually was bewildered, and furrowed his brow when asking, “Mr. Rochester?? Like Jane Eyre? Charlotte Brontë? Wife locked in the attic?”

“One and the same,” I said sincerely, “He’s my vibrator, but you should know, it’s a friends with benefits situation, it’s not serious.”

“WELL! I mean,” he seemed exasperated, yet continued quite calmly, “I’m really glad you opened up to me. I like the honesty. Would you ever want to have a threesome with Mr. Rochester and of course, myself?”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, “How very Eyes Wide Shut of you! Yes, I think that would be something to pencil in. We’ll just have to check Mr. Rochester’s schedule, he’s very, very busy.”

Max gave me moon eyes, “Of course. And if you need someone to step in and fulfill your needs while Mr. Rochester is unavailable, I’m more than happy to - but I also have one more confession.”

“Another one?” I asked, shocked that there could be anything more than “vampire”?

Nodding his head, he began, “Because I am a vampire, I have some extra features. I can hear very, very well. I can see temperature differences in the human body, I can smell things that people can’t smell.” No idea where he’s going with this. But nodding encouragingly anyway. “When I first moved here, and when I first became a vampire - I heard you every night. You’re the only person in the whole building who has consistently had insomnia for the past 20 months, 1 week, and 2 days.”

“Oh,” I said, suddenly feeling a little woozy.

Max took my hand in his, rubbing his fingers in and out of mine slowly.

“I heard you when you cried on and off for those first couple months - which really annoyed me at the time. I heard you quietly humming around your apartment. When you started leaving your apartment to do laundry again and started singing in the laundry room, I fell in love with your voice. When you started narrating books, I’ll be honest, not all of them were good, but you - you are a good narrator, and your voice calms my heart and sets my soul at peace. I heard you on the phone with your mom, with your friends, I learned so many things about you - how you write poetry in the middle of the night and just practice reciting it out loud, to keep yourself from losing your own voice. I had to meet you, I had to know if I was going crazy about you just because you were alone in my head every night, or just because I was actually going mad.”

As I breathed in and out slowly, counting my 8’s, holding my 8’s, Max continued, “I think this is real, and I hope that you’ll give me time, and get to know me at your own pace.”

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I looked around the room, I thought about everything I had been through these past, nearly two years, and looked at the man, the vampire, presenting himself before me. I thought about the whirlwind of this past week. Normally, I would call this a huge red flag - love bombing, et al. - but he didn’t say that he loved me. He also told me to take my time. This is different, it seems like he wants to take time to see if it’s real for himself, too. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. What am I doing?

I bent my right elbow, which felt fantastic, as I traced my thumb back and forth across my bottom lip, and Max watched me with a concerned look on his face. Picking up Mr. Rochester, I decided to say how I really and truly felt.

“Max, I think that in order for me to communicate what I need, I’m going to have to finish what we started.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, confusion and unease marring his face, I hit play on my phone, and continued singing.

“I want your body, I need your body,” standing up, pulling him up by his tie, “Long as you got me, you won’t need nobody.”

Using his tie like a leash, I gave him a tight little yank, leading him into my bedroom. Holding onto his tie-leash, I gave him a little push, encouraging him to sit on the edge of the foot of the bed. I slipped out of my peasant skirt and shoes, keeping my t-shirt, lingerie, and knee socks on. Sitting on his lap, facing him, I started to unbutton his vest as he put his hands on my hips, gripping me, rocking me against his burgeoning erection. I bit my lip, trying not to moan, but instead focusing on the task at hand which was incredibly difficult - especially while feeling his dick rubbing up against my vagina and clit through layers of fabric. Oh, that smell of him - leather, whisky, pine maybe? Something musky, I can’t - Resting my head against his shoulder, I pushed off his vest and started unbuttoning his shirt.

I loosened his tie, but only enough to get to the button at his collar. OH! He hit me with a deep, rough lunge against my lingerie, and my thighs quivered, anticipating the eventual thrust, the deep, violent rut into me that would scratch this itch, raging at my core. Pulling his collar out from under his tie, I tugged his entire shirt off, so that only his beautiful chest remained, with a neat little tie, perfect for keeping him right where I wanted him.

Pulling on the tie, I smirked, “Oh, Hiiii, Doggy.” 

Max looked up at me, adoringly, and moved one of his hands up my back, pushing me right up against him, so that he could grab my mouth with his. Working his other hand up, while continuing to roll his hips into mine, he pulled my shirt up over my head. We took a break from kissing, and Max let his fangs out, biting into the fabric at the front of my bra, ripping it open easily and baring my breasts to him.

“Max,” I pouted, “That was expensive.”

He looked up at me, a devilish grin on his face, “I’ll buy you a new one.” Then proceeded to lick around my nipple, squeezing my other breast, jutting up into me, and rubbing the middle finger of his other hand up and down my spine, while I held onto his tie-leash. How he managed to hit my clitoris through the pants, I have no idea, but it created the perfect amount of friction in so many different delicious places, until finally, I gave a hard yank on the leash.

“We need to get all the way on the bed, because I need to be on top of you,” He looked up from the nipple he was sucking on, and replied, “Whatever I can do for you, Sweetness.”

He climbed back on the bed, then yanked me up with him, on top of him. I laughed, but only because I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get him inside of me soon. I kissed him, and he kissed me - he held on to me, and kept kissing me, his hands all over - sliding my lingerie down my thighs, and I had to pull away, “Max, no - I’m primed, I’m ready. I love kissing you, but I. Am. Ready.”

Raising his eyebrow, he licked his lips and grinned, “Don’t let me stop you. You’re a woman on a mission.”

I dragged my nails down his chest, around his nipples, giving gentle kisses along the way. When I got to his pants, I unbuckled his belt, popped open the button, and unzipped the zipper, my body shaking with impatience. Max lifted his hips, helping me to pull his pants and his black boxer briefs down, past his sumptuous, mouthwatering cock. I sat up, and blew into my hands to make sure they were warm - then licked the palms. Holding his dick just beneath the head with one hand, I slowly licked the underside, from the bottom of the shaft, to just under the head, giving it a little special attention, and then slowly, dipping my mouth over him, over his cock, up and down, slowing moving my hand up and down as Max started to groan. I kept going, keeping myself steady, going as far as I could, until he touched my hand.

“Sweetness? I want to fuck up your pussy with my cum. I want to wreck you - can we?”

Of course I was amenable to that proposition. He took my hand, like a princess, and led me forward so that I was hovering over his dick, letting it rub against me. While I continued doing that, he leaned all the way forward and started playing with my tits again, squeezing my ass, ravishing my body, so that I didn’t know where the pleasure was coming from. As he dipped the head of his penis into my vagina just slightly, teasing me, I finally - slowly, firmly, sat  on his dick, and we both let out a loud groan together.

Every time I rolled my hips, my chest rolled, too, and we kept rubbing against each other in all of the right ways. Taking one hand from my hip, he started making circles with his thumb along my clitoris, and I started to feel the building coil, the tension, his dick throbbing as I clenched onto him. My vagina pulsing and squeezing as his dick kept pumping into me, and my clitoris, sparking and popping into a full abdomen orgasm. His warmth, his cum running down his cock and trickling along the edges of my vagina. I took my finger, and swiped at the puddle, licking it off my finger while Max stared at me in awe.

“Fuck, Sweetness. I could watch that all day.” I leaned into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. “Please rank your customer satisfaction level with 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest on your touch tone phone.”

“Um, hello? I’d like to lodge a complaint - I’ve been having sex with humans when I could’ve been having sex with vampires this entire time. Super Massive Blackhole Fuck Up.”

Max chuckled, “Your response has been accepted and will be processed between 10 - 15 business days.”

“What?! Why so long?!” I exclaimed as I pulled back slightly.

“Bureaucracy, obviously. A lot of paperwork to fill out. In fact, I should probably get started.”

Max started to lift me up off his lap and I whimpered in disappointment. His rich chuckle tumbled out of his chest, “Or we could just sit here, counting the seconds since our last successful orgasm.”

Smiling as he rubbed my back and gave me a kiss on the forehead, on the cheek - then abruptly, his mood changed. His eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly he was very serious.

“We didn’t use any protection.”

I looked down, playing with his tie, “I know.”

“I want you to know that, one of the benefits of being a vampire is that we’re not susceptible to STIs. It’s not a thing in the vampire world, we can’t catch them, we can’t be carriers…”

“That’s fine.” I interrupted him, “I kinda assumed after you told me that you were a vampire, that we’d have sex, then you’d completely exsanguinate me, or make me your familiar. And then I wouldn't have any free will after that. I considered this that one thing that I needed to do if I were to –”

Max’s face fell, his right hand stopped drawing circles on my back, and he used it to lift my chin so that I was looking him straight in the eye.

“Never.”

He gave me a soft kiss on the lips. “For as long as the sun sets and the moon rises.” Kissing both of my eyelids, he pulled me into his chest.

“I have control. Not like the first night I turned, but that’s another story. Now, it’s - nothing.”

“So it’s not like Twilight when Edward made a stank face when Bella walked into her science class?”

Max started guffawing.

“No! No, no no. Being around people, it’s like being at the supermarket - you don’t want to go when you’re hungry, otherwise you’re going to end up putting way more in your shopping cart than you need. And if someone is bleeding, it’s like being around someone cooking bacon or baking brownies, or whatever your personal weakness is when it comes to food. You can resist, but DAMN if it doesn’t smell good!”

I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, “Okay, I was not expecting that at all,” Max laughed lightly, “Twilight, True Blood, Dracula, those are my entire basis of vampire knowledge. So - no worries of STIs, that’s great!”

As I finished what I was saying, Max stiffened, “I think there’s another thing you should probably know –” he paused, as though he wasn’t sure how to approach it.

Leaning back, I looked at him as he explored my face, clenching his jaw before starting, “Some people might see this as a bonus, although others may feel that it is a dealbreaker.”

I looked back at him, attempting to keep my face as supportive as possible, albeit I was somewhat nervous where he was going.

“Vampires cannot get humans pregnant - or other vampires, for that matter. The water turns to wine as soon as you turn. Which is probably for the best.”

Max bit his lip, raising his eyebrow in a questioning manner, “Is this a dealbreaker?”

My heart rattled around my rib cage, glowing as it warmed towards him, my appreciation for his candor and consideration, his openness and frankly bravery in being able to admit so many scary, risky things to me tonight. It was certainly a lot to take in, a lot to process.

“Well,” I started, “Between you not being able to have children and you being a vampire, I would say that being a vampire would probably be more of a dealbreaker than the extremely normal issue of male infertility, right?”

Pausing, I gave him a wink.

Apparently he was holding his breath, because he let it out in a whoosh as he nervously giggled to himself.

“That being said,” I continued, as he focused on my lips, “I actually can’t have children either, so - I’m glad you brought this up. And I’m really glad that we won’t be having a weird vampire-human baby hybrid à la Twilight.”

“Wait. You can’t have children?” Max asked, as I shrunk a little into myself, “DUMPED!”

And he swung me off his lap, onto the bed, where he stood over me. His chest slowly going up and down, the tie dangling over it, and his pants which were open just enough for our earlier sex acts, providing the full monty of his cock rising with another generous erection.

Sitting up on my elbows, I raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure that I love that my inability to produce offspring, followed up by a subsequent dumping, which by the way - didn’t know we were officially a thing yet - is giving you such a massive erection. Don’t - love - it.”

I cocked my head to the side, after Max gave me a particularly charming grin, and eyed the precum starting to bead at the head of his massively beautiful dick.

“Oh, we were definitely a thing,” he said, reaching behind him to grab something - but what was he grabbing? No. Oh no. When did he have time to bring that into the room? “But it’s over now. Sorry. Perhaps it’s my turn to sing for you? Express my broken heart at your treachery and deceit?” 

Setting up a song on his phone, the music started as Mr. Rochester started on a low buzz.

Immediately I recognized Wicked Games by Chris Isaak, as Max slowly climbed the bed near my feet, singing into Mr. Rochester, “The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you. Strange what desire, makes foolish people do.”

As he got closer to my thighs, he took Mr. Rochester, and gently applied him to the inside of my left knee, just along the side, moving slowly up, “No, I-i-i-i - don’t wanna fall in love. No, I-i-i-i - don’t wanna fall in love, with you.”

He looked me straight in the eyes as he increased the vibration, taking Mr. Rochester, and placing him in the lower center of my abdomen, about 3 fingers width above my clit. I scrunched up my nose at him in disapproval, although I was simultaneously feeling quite frazzled.

“What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way. What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.” He quickly swiped Mr. Rochester straight up and around my belly button, then over to the right side of my abdomen. “What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you.”

The buzzing, set to medium, was not too light that it tickled, but was just enough to set my senses ablaze. Up again he went, circling my right breast very delicately in concentrically smaller circles until he was focused on just the nipple, as I leaned back, curling my toes and clenching the sheets in my hands. Max moved in closer, hovering above me as he circled my left breast, my nipple, dipping his head into the crook of my neck. He started kissing, licking, and nibbling along my collarbone, moving up towards my chin, in the meanwhile, drawing Mr. Rochester down my body until he was right on my clitoris.

Gasping from the combined pleasures, I reached my arm around his neck, pulling myself up so that I could kiss him right in the little dip below his Adam's apple. Using my tongue, I gently massaged the divet in between generous kisses, inhaling large breaths of his virile, woodsy, spiced scent. With my other hand, I lightly ran my fingers up and down the length of his dick, stopping just below the head along the frenulum, tenderly swirling my finger in very soft, small circles.

“Oh fuck.” Max whispered loudly, putting his forehead against mine. “I’m gonna pull you up further onto the bed, okay?” he said through haphazard breaths, tossing Mr. Rochester aside. 

I nodded as he reached underneath me, moving me closer to the top of the bed, and putting a pillow underneath my head. He glanced down at me, giving me a big smile, “And now I’m going to fuck you the way you deserve to be fucked.”

Smiling back at him, he immediately put his lips to mine, pulling me into a full, luscious kiss that just kept going. His body against mine, our skin touching - melting into each other, moving together up and down, he used one hand to line himself up with my vagina. Edging into me, inch by glorious inch with each wave of our undulating bodies. Once fully inside me, he pulled back like a slow coil and then snapped back into me, and did it again, and again, and again. I put my hand above my head to brace myself against the headboard, and Max brought his hand up, grasping onto mine like he couldn’t bear to have any piece of me not engaged in making love to him.

He continued to thrust into me - the repeated, wet friction of the head of his cock on my g spot, the feeling of his shaft filling me up - hard and thick. Pulsing subtly as he clenched his muscles to continue driving into me, I started to feel the pull, the spasm, taking the bite of apple from the tree of knowledge with the snake at my feet. The intensity of which only increased as I opened my eyes, looking up at Max as he looked back down at me, with his sincere, enthusiastic half smile and adorable dimple. He slowed as he felt my vagina contract around him, and moved his penis in and out in deep circles. Until I could feel his rigorous and steady ejaculation into me, warming me from the inside out.

Giving me sweet little kisses along the line of my jaw as he remained inside me, giving my chin a little bite, he leaned onto one elbow and reached down, swiping at our cum at the base of his cock. Bringing his finger to his mouth, he licked it off, mimicking what I’d done earlier.

“Fuck, Sweetness. I could watch that all day.” I teased, parroting what he’d said to me earlier.

Max raised an eyebrow and leaned in, giving me a full, deep kiss, letting me taste our combined flavors. Everybody is different, but for some reason it reminded me of pineapple upside down cake, or rum raisin ice cream, with a slight saltiness, and I felt dizzy from all of the attention and care he was giving me. Or perhaps it was simply dehydration?

I looked over at my bedside table, where I’d left a glass of water just out of reach and Max, attentive beyond my expectations, reached over and handed it to me. Taking the glass out of his hand left it free to wander, and wander it did. He took his hand, trailing his index finger down my throat. Upon reaching my clavicles he splayed his hand and slowly drew his whole hand down my chest, resting his hand between my breasts and leaving it there. He moved over to my side, propping his head up on his other hand.

As he moved to my side, naturally, his penis came out of me. His dick was big, but realistically, it was not that long and that was for the best. Gasping theatrically, he took his hand off my chest and said, “Oh no!” Then scooted closer to me and draped his dick over my hip, making me laugh at his desire to use his cock to keep a claim on me.

Max started tracing imaginary shapes on my abdomen. Until he furrowed his brow and traced what, to most people, would look like a frowny face between my hips, my pubic bone, and my belly button.

“These scars - this is why you can’t have kids?” he asked.

I took a deep breath and sighed, “Yeah. I mean, it’s a little more complicated than that, but it’s the visual and physical evidence remaining of what happened that caused it.”

“May I ask what happened?”

I bit the inside of my mouth, then reached over towards my bedside table that was just out of reach, to put the glass of water back. Without trying, Max took the glass of water out of my hand and easily put the glass back on the table for me. 

Without thinking too much, I turned on the clinical side of my brain.

“I have a disease called endometriosis,” I’ve repeated this so many times, for so many people that I don’t even have to think about it anymore, “it’s where tissue similar to, but not, the uterine lining grows outside of the uterus. In a way, it’s like cancer, in that tissue is growing where it shouldn’t - however, it absolutely does not metastasize the same way at all, so it cannot be qualified as a cancer. The tissue that grows is triggered by estrogen, so it’s aggravated by menstrual cycles, but the pain it causes is not limited to menstrual cycles. As it grows, it creates painful adhesions which are almost magnetic in drawing organs together, getting organs stuck together to the point that a person’s abdomen can be 'frozen' in place - organs are really supposed to be free floating, mobile, not stuck together.”

I took a moment to breathe before digging back in. 

“That gets really painful. It can affect fertility in many different ways, and is responsible for about 50% of infertility cases. A lot of people who have endo often find success with pregnancy after having a surgery known as 'excision' surgery. Not to be confused with 'ablation' surgery.” Going on to describe the difference between the two, “Excision pulls the disease out by the root, ablation just burns the disease off at the surface - it’s basically like cutting the lawn versus pulling the weeds. You wanna pull the weeds.”

I paused. I knew I’d said a lot, and took a look at Max to see how he was faring.

His brows were knitted together, concerned, but he was paying attention. “So, you had one of the - excision - surgeries? Your fertility should’ve been better right?”

Tilting my head slightly, I continued, “Ehhh, well. I had 3 surgeries, well 2 - “ Max frowned, “My first surgery was with a doctor who was a gynecological surgeon, but not an endo specialist. So they opened me up, panicked when they realized how much was happening, drained an endometrioma in my ovary, and then sewed me back up. Then I had an excision surgery with 2 well known endometriosis specialists who diagnosed me with stage 4 disease, and based on visual confirmation only, adenomyosis.”

“Adenomy–? But they got all of the endometriosis?”

“They did their best. They got rid of everything that they were able to see, but I lost my gallbladder and my appendix to the disease and adhesions. However, they did save my left kidney, so I was psyched about that,” I gave Max two thumbs up. “And adenomyosis is when endometriosis grows in between the layers of uterine lining. It can either be focal or diffuse. If it’s focal, that means that it’s like a little ball or cyst that they can remove, although it’s very tricky to do because the uterus is basically a giant muscle filled with blood vessels. The muscles have two jobs: squeeze to shed lining, and close off blood vessels so that you don’t bleed your own blood. When there’s something like adenomyosis or fibroids interrupting the muscles, they can’t always properly close off the blood vessels.”

“And you bleed your own blood?”

“Yes, and it always makes me think of that line from the movie Dodgeball, ‘Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!’ You know what I’m talking about - Ben Stiller says it?”

Max chuckled, “Yeah, I know it. ‘If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball’! But continue, please.”

“Yar. So. It’s a lot harder to remove disease from inside the lining of the uterus. There’s a procedure called the Osada Procedure, developed by –” I paused for dramatic effect, “Dr. Osada, from Japan. But it’s pretty wild. They actually…” I stopped and looked at him, “This next part is a little graphic, but from a scientific standpoint, it’s also very interesting. Are you sure you want me to continue?”

He pretended like he really had to think about it, hemming in various different ways for a good minute, “Ummmm…ahhhhhh, hmmmmm, wellllllllllll.” And then he smiled at me and reached for my hand, “Yeah. Absolutely.”

“Well, they basically do a c-section, and lift your uterus out so that they can peel back the outer layer and remove the disease from the inner layer.”

His eyes grew wide and his smile turned to repulsion, “Whaaaaaaaat??? Really?? That’s - I don’t know that I like that.”

“Only 5 doctors in the world are capable of performing it, so it wasn’t actually an option for me. Well, 4 doctors now, one retired.”

“So what is the treatment if not that?”

“Birth control, aka hormone modifying medication. I had to have an IUD inserted AND take a progesterone-only birth control at the same time daily, in order to keep myself from bleeding through.”

“Progesterone-only because estrogen made the endometriosis angry?”

“Exactly.”

“You said ‘had’ though. You’re not doing that anymore?”

“Uh, no. So there are other options, like presacral neurectomy, which involves severing the nerves between the uterus and the presacral plexus, the bundle of nerves that sends pain signals from the uterus to the brain.”

Max’s face turned to one of unhappy disgust, with an exaggerated frown and I laughed, “I know, that doesn’t sound great. Some people have a lot of luck with it, which means they get to keep their uterus, try for kids, but sometimes the connection grows back, sometimes the wrong nerve gets severed and people experience tingling and paralysis, lack of feeling, the surgery is somewhere between 52% - 75% effective amongst patients - but again, there aren’t a lot of doctors who are qualified to perform that surgery.”

“Is that the surgery you got for your third surgery?” Max asked, looking concerned.

I shook my head, “No. I actually started having pain again about 7 months after my second surgery - the first surgery with the specialists - despite physical and pelvic floor therapy, and my endo specialist told me that it was possible, with all of the endo I had, that I had more disease. That it would be worth it to have another surgery.”

“So you did that.”

“Yeah. And, because there were some concerning things happening regarding national / local access to my hormone medication –”

Max interjected, “The birth control? With the Supreme Court and local laws?”

I nodded and he frowned, “Exactly. I wasn’t sure that I was going to have access to the medication that allowed me to stand up straight, and kept me from suffering significant anemia. After talking with my doctor, I decided to go ahead and have an Anti-Müllerian Hormone blood test done to see what my ovarian reserve was. It was super easy - they just drew my blood, and then I found out how fertile I was.”

“Judging by those beautiful hips…” a smug smile stretched across Max’s face.

Rolling my eyes at him, I forged ahead with good natured sarcasm, “Yep. That’s how that works. Science solved!”

He gave me a kiss on the cheek, chuckling.

“Normal AMH levels are about 1.5 - 4.0 ng/l and anything below 1.0 is considered low, but above 0.5-0.8, is still viable for fertility treatments. Mine came in at 0.05 ng/l.” 

Taking a moment, Max gulped, absentmindedly starting to brush a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear, then continued to trace along my jaw until he reached my chin, placing his thumb on my bottom lip, affectionately brushing his finger over it, his eyes focused on both of my lips.

“I think I know where this is going - but I want to hear it from you.”

Pursing my lips, I carried on - still fairly objective in my tone and phrasing.

“It didn’t make sense to try to hold on to an organ that wasn’t serving me and wouldn’t serve me, I’m not super young - and especially as someone who was not in a relationship or had any idea when or if I would be partaking in another one. Much less so in this climate. I’m not going to hold off for some ‘maybe’ person,” looking at him, “sorry,” he shrugged, and shook his head, unbothered, “-- to decide for me in the here and now, while I was currently in a lot of pain; when I could go ahead and make the choice for myself to get both surgeries done at the same time. And after doing the research, I decided on a total hysterectomy plus a salpingectomy - it’s one of the three options available. There’s hysterectomy classic - just the uterus; total hysterectomy - uterus plus cervix; radical hysterectomy - uterus, cervix, ovaries. I kept my ovaries so that I could maintain my hormone levels on my own, but I got a salpingectomy, aka got my fallopian tubes removed, so that I didn’t have a risk of an ectopic pregnancy, which oddly, is still a possibility despite having a hysterectomy. Wild, eh?”

Max gave me a horrified look, “WHAT? Jesus.” He shook his head. “So –” his hand hovered over my midsection, “how is this all feeling now? How long ago did this happen?”

Scrunching up my face, I responded, “About 20 months, 1 week, and 4 days ago - I had to stay in the hospital for 1.5 days.” Then I grinned and said in a British accent, “I’m getting betteh!”

Letting out an amused cackle, Max did his own Monty Python impersonation, “You’re not dead yet?”

Keeping my face in a dramatically large, frozen faced smile, eyebrows raised, I just shook my head and raised my shoulders in a shrug.

Max cackled even louder, and wrapped me up in his arms, giving me aggressively sweet little kisses, while I giggled at his relentless ardor.

Stopping abruptly, he inquired again, “Seriously, though - you seemed okay during sex, both times,” he flashed his eyebrows and smirked, as he gave me a quick look up and down, then got serious again, “but I didn’t hurt you at all, did I?”

“Oh, no - not at all. They found more stage 4 disease during my third surgery and removed that, and everything healed up quite nicely. No complications. And if anything, my hormones may be a bit out of whack - I’ve had a hard time obviously, with insomnia, and there was a period of time where I really, really didn’t feel like myself at all. But now that I’m off not one but TWO forms of birth control, which is a LOT, let’s be honest - I feel like I’m outside of a cloud that I’d been living in.” 

Max nodded while he listened, “If anything I’m more present, I think. And my sex drive is a lot higher, sex is –'' I looked into his eyes, wishing I could convey to him just exactly what being with him meant, “actually pleasurable. It doesn’t hurt. Occasionally, the ghost of endo haunts me, and that leaves me a little sore. But if I’m going to be sore from anything, I want it to be from an intense sex session with you.”

“It haunts you?”

“There’s no official cure for it, and when it takes a really long time for a diagnosis, the disease can develop its own nerve endings, which can leave many patients with residual nerve issues, like fibromyalgia or other types of neuralgia.”

“Did you write a book on this or are you also a part time doctor?”

I laughed, “Ah, no. A lot of patients have to push to get diagnosed, and that usually involves becoming very educated in the various aspects of endo. I have spent a good portion of my free time helping other patients advocate for themselves - the whole system is problematic in a lot of ways.” I sighed.

“I have one final question for you,” Max led into his query, “The kids ‘thing’. How are you feeling about having to give that up?”

Giving out an exasperated huff, I launched into my response, “First - I have a lot of thoughts. I had a lot of thoughts. I always thought that I would have kids, but no matter what relationship I was in, it never seemed like a good time. Not just because of where we were planning-wise, but because I had other stuff I wanted to do instead. And I know that sounds selfish - I like kids, I do - it’s just, I didn’t want them around all the time.”

Max laughed at me, or with me, it was hard to tell, “But I did want the choice. I wanted it to be mine, and mine alone, not because of something that couldn’t be helped, not a government, not anyone else but me. And when I was setting up the surgery and had to coordinate with the insurance company, do you know what the insurance agent said to me?” Max shrugged and shook his head. “We’ll have to confirm with your doctor, to make sure that you’re not trying to get out of having kids.”

Max’s face took on a steely glare, his nostrils flared as he breathed out, and he accidentally bared his fangs. 

“I know. I was furious. I didn’t realize having children was a requirement for my gender. But I spent the next 20 minutes educating that insurance rep on my reproductive system, and then they admitted that they knew people with similar issues and had some issues themselves, so it’s - whatever.” I threw my hands in the air.

Looking away from me, Max clenched his jaw - he seemed to be trying to get his fangs to retract. I could tell that what I said upset him, and I reached my hand up to his chin, turning his face back towards mine. He took my hand, and brought it down to his heart, holding it there in place as he leaned his forehead against mine. After a minute of slowing his breathing, he pulled my hand back up to his face and kissed it. Drawing back, fangs no longer on display, he studied my face - letting his rich, hot coffee eyes dissolve me.

“I hate that you went through that - and I feel like an asshole for being annoyed at you because I had to listen to you cry in the middle of the night when I first transformed.” Shaking my head, I opened my mouth to speak, but Max pushed on, “I am an asshole. It’s what I do best. And I suspect that sometimes it turns you on.”

He had me there, and I tried not to look directly at him. “I am trying, though,” giving me one of his deliciously charming smiles and a wink, he pulled me closer, and nuzzled my neck.

“You know what?” Max began, a teasing, smug look on his face as he pulled back, “All that you’ve been through - that’s all very impressive. And I want you to know that I’m here for you. Because I know exactly what you’ve been through.”

“Oh, really?” 

“Absolutely.” He lifted his leg, showing off a small, white scar, about 3 inches long. “I was chased by a dog when I was 8 years old, and fell on some glass.”

Mockingly, but with sincere gusto, I gasped, “Oh no!” Touching the scar on his leg, “This is horrific. I hope you sued that dog. And that piece of glass.”

Max dramatically and emotionally sniffed back fake tears, “Thank you. We sued them into oblivion for everything they were worth. It was very traumatic.”

“And how much was everything they were worth?” I inquired.

“A bag of puppy chow and the rest of the broken bottle.”

“Sounds like you came out on top. Somebody didn’t have to pay for college!”

Max burst out laughing, “That’s right, I went into college admissions with puppy chow and a broken bottle and said, ‘This should cover one 4-year bachelor degree, right?’ and they absolutely said yes. And now I work in sales.” He shrugged, still chuckling.

“Wait - so you’re a vampire, and you still work? That didn't stop once you transitioned?”

“Ah, yeah. I still have bills, although I do get some kick back when I –” he mimed biting into someone’s neck, sucking their blood, and then tossing their corpse over his shoulder.

“Kick back?”

“Yeah, I take their wallets and drain their bank accounts. They’re not using it anymore.” All of a sudden his face jumped into a look of surprise, and he looked like a little kid who got his hand caught in the cookie jar. 

Gasping in feigned surprise, I declared, “What?! Not my Max! Not my sweet Max? He would never steal from dead people!”

His face moved into an awkwardly wide stretched grin, and his eyes shifted back and forth, “Ummmm - honesty is important to you, right?” I nodded. “More important than if I was a thieving thiever who stole from helpless dead people who were at one point alive before I drained their blood?”

Earnestly, I nodded.

“Well, yes. I may take a collection up from the corpses, but I always ask first. ‘Hey, Mr. Dead Guy, do you want to donate to my personal cause?’ and then,” he mimed moving a skull’s jaw with one hand, and spoke in a slightly higher voice, “they say, ‘Why yes, Mr. Phillips, this sounds like a great cause, I’d love to donate to it. Take my bank card and drain all of the funds, please and thank you.’ Isn’t that so nice of them?” He looked at me with his mouth wide open in a giant, cartoonish smile.

“Ohmygod, soooo nice.” I batted my eyelashes at him, while talking like a Valley Girl from the OG Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

“Sooo nice. They love it.” He leaned in to kiss me, his voluminous lips toying with my own, his tongue peeking into my mouth. I found myself feeling dizzy again, but this time I knew it was because we had just spent about ten minutes kissing without stopping to breathe, as Max moved with me, as though he were part of me. 

Scooting me a bit closer to him, he wrapped his right arm around me, allowing me to rest my head just under his chin. With his left hand, he took my right hand, kissing each of my fingers one by one before asking, “Is that clock right?” referring to a clock I had hanging on the wall across from the bed.

“Yep.” I yawned.

Looking down at me, “Hmm. Well, it looks like I may have successfully tired you out.” I let out a snort. “And, I actually have to get ready for work.” He sighed.

“But you were up all night,” I complained.

Max took my hand and pointed at himself, “Uh, vampire - I think we established that.” Then chuckling, he kissed my hand again, placing it on his chest. “It’s only 8-9 hours. 10 hours if someone’s being a dipshit and doesn’t get their reports done.”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay, Max.”

“I was trying to psych myself up, Sweetness.”

“Ewwww. Gross.”

“What’s that? Not enough? Tone it up?”

I shook my head, giggling.

He sat up and pulled me with him, gently nibbling at my throat, “You’re good enough to eat, and I swear to god, that pussy’s gonna be on the menu tonight.”

Then, as he started to get off the bed, he tugged me off the bed with him carefully, by the wrists. As we stood there, naked and facing each other, Max maintained his hold on my wrists directly in front of his chest. Standing up straight, his strong, broad shoulders rolled back, he surveyed my body without ever moving his head. I stared right back at him, defiant, though my nipples betrayed me as they perked up under his calculating gaze.

“I want you to dress me.” Max said in a calm, firm voice.

I frowned at him.

He cracked a crooked grin, then leaned in close to whisper in my ear, “Please.”

Licking just under my earlobe, he gave it a bite and wrapped his lips around the lobe, right before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

How could I possibly resist that? I bit my lip, “Well, when you ask so nicely –”

“Manners maketh man, so they say.”

Max winked and let go of my wrists. I started to grab my own clothes, and he reached out to grab my wrist again.

“Ah-ah. Just me, Sweetness.”

It’s one thing to have someone attempt to control you and every little thing you do. It’s quite another when you know that someone is asking you to do something because they want to spend more time with you, because they want to see more of you, because they enjoy YOU.

I tossed my clothes behind me, and reached down for Max’s black boxer briefs, kneeling before him so that he could step into them, as he balanced by putting his left hand on my right shoulder. Then I began gliding the shorts up his muscular calves, his strong thighs, gradually standing up - until I reached around to pull them up over his ass, pressing my body against his. He groaned as I took my hands and ran them the length of the elastic band towards the front of his body, where his dick hung out the front, or rather, was beginning to experience a raising of spirits. Carefully, but firmly, I grasped his cock, and Max let out a pleased whimper, closing his eyes, and then immediately opening them.

“No –” he said breathlessly, “Not yet. I have to get going. But I love where your head's at.”

He smirked at me, reaching around to grab me by the ass while simultaneously pressing me up against him, leaning down to give me a kiss on the lips. As he released his grip, I went ahead and tucked his erection upwards facing in his boxer briefs, which kinda, sorta worked.

He put his hands on his hips and said, “Fashion, baby,” clicking his tongue and winking at me.

Picking up his pants, I got back down on my knees so that he could step into them. He put his left hand on my right shoulder again to balance himself and said, “Sweetness, I don’t have a kink for Stepford Wives, but the way you’re taking care of me is so fucking hot.”

I made eye contact with his dick as I stood, looking up at him, and he chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’m counting on it,” I told him as I turned around to find where his shirt and vest went.

Under his breath he muttered, “You can always count on me.”

“What?” I asked as I turned around.

He shook his head, looking like a deer caught in headlights, but tried to play it off casually, “Nothing. Were you, uh - you were saying something?”

I pursed my lips in an amused smile, shaking my head, “No, I guess my hearing isn’t what it used to be.”

“I mean, you’re not a vampire.” he said, shrugging and looking slightly suspicious.

“Or, I’m just very tired, and - imagining things.”

As I made my excuses, Max seemed a bit relieved that I wasn’t pushing him to admit that he said anything. Although, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to hear him. At least, not ready to exchange words at that level of commitment, not so soon. I’m not in a rush, and he’s a vampire - he actually has forever. Man can wait.

Walking over, I tried to smooth over his crumpled shirt before holding out an arm for him to reach into, then walking behind his broad back, to slide the other sleeve on. Returning to my spot in front of him, Max put his hands on my hips as I started buttoning him up from the bottom to the top, making sure to keep his tie tossed over his shoulder. Once his shirt was all set, I tucked his tie over his collar, and folded his collar back down over it, adjusting the knot so that the tie had a slightly more tidy fit. I tucked his shirt into his pants by reaching my arms around him like I was giving him a bear hug, making my way around to the front the same way I’d done with his boxer briefs. My hands smoothing him over around his waist, until I got to the front and took one final opportunity to trail my fingers gently over his erection. He sighed again, closing his eyes, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Over his shirt, I helped him put on his vest, assisting him again with his buttons. 

“You look so good.” I said as I stood back, admiring my work, and quite frankly just the beautiful human - oh, I mean vampire, that he is.

“So do you.” He said as his tongue stuck out a bit from his mouth, his eyes trailing my body.

I rolled my eyes, laughing lightly, “I’ll go find your jacket from the other room - your shoes and socks are here somewhere, so I’ll let you finish that part.”

As I walked out into the living room, nabbing Max’s jacket from the couch, I stopped to look out the window. Dark velvet night threatened to break with blue early morning twilight along the edges of the horizon, and I shuddered.

What happens to Max in the sunlight? I crossed my arms, feeling goosebumps rising on my skin, feeling - what? Fear for him? Worry? Caring? It’s been awhile since I’ve done this. I hoped that I could pace myself. 

Without realizing that he’d come out of the bedroom, I found myself in his arms again after he walked up behind me, gently wrapping himself around me. Leaning his head on my shoulder, he gave me a nuzzle and a peck on my cheek.

“Walk me to the door?”

I laughed, “Like this?” He gave me the cutest, sweetest face of pleading. “Fine.” 

So we walked to the door together, and as Max walked out he turned around to face me, leaning in the door frame. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

Just then, my elderly neighbor from across the hall, Mr. Vilallonga opened his door to grab a package that was sitting outside. Max took his arm from the door frame as he turned around to see what was happening behind him, and Mr. Vilallonga caught a full glimpse of my naked body. I gasped, immediately covering my body with my hands, just as Mr. Vilallonga looked up, dropped his package on the floor, and started apologizing profusely. 

As soon as Max realized what was happening, he stepped in between us to block Mr. Vilallonga’s view.

Holding back a wheezing laugh and apologizing to me repeatedly, “I will make this up to you, I’m so sorry - never again, okay? Never again. Your body is sacred to me - it’s not for this fucking guy,” he frantically whispered, pointing with his thumb behind him.

Fuming! I fumed at him. Meanwhile, his features had softened so much, I could tell that he was very, very sorry that this had happened. But it was gonna take a minute for me to recover. I also might’ve prematurely killed Mr. Vilallonga, who had slammed his door shut, and whom I could also still hear yelling apologies through his door.

“Leave.” I told Max.

He gave me sad puppy eyes and nodded, then immediately switched to a giant smile, mouthing the words, ‘I’ll call you,’ while he held an imaginary telephone to his ear, followed by promptly pushing me back into my apartment and closing the door.

Alone, I went into the bathroom and started the shower using my right hand to turn the faucet on. I paused, remembering that it was less than 12 hours ago that I had a bandage on my elbow and struggled to bend that arm. And now? Bending my arm every which way, it was perfect. Maybe better than before. Was that even real?

Scrolling through my phone, I selected some music at random for shower time ambience and atmosphere.

As the beat kicked in, so did Miley Cyrus’ husky voice as I stepped into the shower. Shampooing my hair, I sang along, “I was born to run, I don’t belong to anyone, oh-no. I don’t need to be loved by you.” Rinsing out my hair, applying conditioner and using the loofah, I kept singing, ‘See his hands ‘round my waist, thought you never be replaced, baby. Ooh, you know it’s true.”

Flashing back, I remembered how many times Max put his hands on my body, reverently touching my flesh, making me feel incredibly sexy and simultaneously safe with him. I thought about the one who came before, the one who even now, had been holding me back. But not anymore. “That I was born to run, I don’t belong to anyone, oh-no. I don’t need to be loved by you.”

Exiting the bathroom, I slipped into a pair of silk shorts and a silk tank, grabbed my notebook and sat on my bed. Being with Max had been exhilarating, but my feelings were starting to get a bit intense for me. I decided to temper them by writing them out in a type of poem I’d learned way back in college - a freeform, stream of consciousness style. It felt better than journaling because I always ended up giving up on journals about 3 or 4 entries in. But with a “poetry” journal, I could say that I was being creative and artsy without any judgment from anyone else. There was absolutely zero pressure. I could let my thoughts flow, and in the end, they would be prettier than anything I would’ve written in a regular journal. At least that’s what it felt like for me.

Opening up my journal, I felt the dam break and I was off - scribbling exactly how I felt, on an extreme spectrum, allowing myself to engage in these feelings was a huge release.

Make me yours. Mark me with your kisses, claim me with your voice. Tell the world  they’re making a mistake when the hands they lay upon me attempt to take away my choice. Keep me with your quiet eyes, let yourself enjoy  the image of my body, the visage of my body, it’s for your eyes only, that I disrobe. Mold me with your gentle hands, sculpt and shape me with your touch, until I am no longer  the shadow of who I was, but the silhouette  of who I will become. Not because you demanded it, not because I let it go, but because when we’re together, our love and sacrifices create something bigger than they could ever know.

A little silly, and it definitely turned out to be a love poem. I read it aloud to hear how it would sound, and I didn’t mind it. But it’s definitely not getting published anytime soon, and I giggled at the prospect.

Well now that’s out of my system – I put my notebook on my nightstand, and turned off my bedside lamp. As I slept, I had fitful, sexy dreams about Max, and woke up craving him.

To be continued...

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[vin-lord-of-squid]

oh.

oh my cod.

we’ve been thinking about it all wrong.

our perspective was off. we jumped to too many conclusions.

it all makes sense now.

side order wasn’t created by Marina. probably not purposefully, anyway. side order- now just HEAR ME OUT- side order takes place:

in alterna.

explanation under the cut.

in the YouTube video linked at the end at 5:09, there’s dash pads pointed out with the alterna logo on them. plus, the weird black glitches on the wall are the same as the loot anchors in alterna. we know what the core component of alterna is, it’s the liquid crystals all over the walls that reflect the last wishes of the humans. now think about Marina, and her odd absence. what’s her greatest wish? her number one desire?

she wants to find a world of order, beyond our comprehension, after this chaotic world… so she can choose her inner self.

look at side order. that describes it perfectly. it’s so familiar, but so alien, a world of order beyond our comprehension, so similar to our own…

but i doubt Marina wanted this.

my theory is that during Off the Hook’s world tour, they came to Splatsville with 8 and 4 (probably not). due to being close to the Squidbeak Splatoon, they’re shown Alterna. Marina is fascinated by the liquid crystal, and tries to incorporate it into a computer. but the crystal is old and corrupted. so Marina loses control of the computer and everyone is sucked in. the crystal primarily reacts to Marina, creating the world of order she so desperately craved, but also trapping her at the top of the spire and endangering her friends (kind of a “be careful what you wish for” scenario.) Acht was in Alterna due to collaborating with Octoplush and is sucked in as well. the overarching story focuses on Marina’s relationship with Pearl and how she felt hurt and scared after Pearl left (the rest of the interview is here and another person’s elaboration on why Marina feels this way that I agree with is here and here.)

basically i think that everyone looks the way they do because the crystals are reacting to Marina, like Pearl is a robot because a programmed robot would never think of leaving Marina (which Marina would never actually admit or accept she desires but mind reading crystals). and 8 has the white suit because Marina wants 8 to discover themselves and find individuality so she literally gave them a “blank canvas” as their clothes. and she. didn’t know acht was there so no change.

as for story, i think it will go the direction the earlier posts said. i will note that i think Pearl wasn’t purposefully ignoring how Marina feels or trying to hurt her, she just. literally did not notice. not because she’s cold towards Marina or anything she’s just. half blind and a dumbass. as we saw from how long it took her to realize Marina is an octoling.

anyway i think the world of side order is working against Marina and Marina is trying to fight against it to return to her friends, but she’s torn between “i didn’t want this, this is hurting my friends, this isn’t right” and “this is literally the physical manifestation of my every desire.”

and this could play with my predicted arc for Acht (as detailed in this post) because Marina could land on “I want to stay here and you all will too” and Acht is like “bitch put a fucking cork in it I’m seeing my brother again” but I’m so normal about Acht.

and Pearl will have to confront the fact that she hurt Marina, and she’ll have to resolve things with her and land in a healthier place. I’m thinking that throughout side order, Pearl will deny that she hurt Marina and try to focus on getting to Marina, only to get to her and find “oh this is partially my fault.” and because a Nintendo game won’t have years of therapy and recovery there’ll just be an emotional breakdown and reunion with Pearl profusely apologizing for ever hurting Marina, she’s such a dumbass (she is), she was so irresponsible (she was), she loves you so much (she does), she needs you too (she does).

and 8. poor baby 8. a flea on the back of a dragon, in for one hell of a ride. 8 had wanted to explore their past, overcome their trauma, and find their identity and individuality in a more hands-on way.

this is not what they had in mind.

8 is the glue holding everyone together. They relate to Acht in some ways and they love Marina and Pearl. If not for 8, all of the character relationships would collapse. Pearl would never take accountability, Acht would remain cold and hostile, Marina would stay obsessed with this world. But 8 brings out the best in everyone she interacts with (comedically, without ever saying a word.) 8 is compassionate and patient, and works to bring everyone together for the goal of escaping. and 8’s personal arc, their journey relating to themselves, is to grow beyond their past of hurt and trauma. it’s a little played out but they ask themselves “who am I? A soldier? A test subject? A friend? Glue? Do I exist independently, or only in relation to others?” the answer is simple.

they’re Agent 8. and their potential is infinite.

(that’s a big deal because the infinity symbol is prominent in the second trailer, and also 8 on it’s side.)

also 4 (if they’re there) has a journey of independence and learning to move past their abandonment as their own person.

and that’s what gives this so much potential and power. every character has an aspect with which they can relate to Marina. Acht with the anger, Pearl with the love, 4 with abandonment, 8 with trauma recovery. alone, none of them understand what Marina is going through exactly. but together, each of them understand one aspect of her suffering. and they can all help her through it.

anyway here’s the yt vid referenced earlier:

thanks for reading my rambles. please please please send asks if you have anything to say I really wanna talk about this.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I realize it is super trendy now to rag on Fallout 3, ever since Hbomberguy did that roast of it 8 years ago.

And I love Harry, and I agree 100% with all of his criticisms of that game. It is kind of a lumpy mess that immediately got upstaged by New Vegas, and it certainly shows its age in 2024.

But that said, it is still a fantastic game, and it and it alone proved that Bethesda could take Fallout and do it as a Bethesda FPS, with all the usual Bethesda FPS jank, and that could still work wonderfully.

They didn't know this was going to work in 2008. Old skool Fallout bros hated it, and always will. But for the rest of us, it took what was at the time an outdated and niche PC RPG and made if fun and compelling for nearly everyone. It was a huge success and shot across the bow, similar to TES Oblivion, that proved that this sort of adaptation of a 90s IP into a "modern" form-factor could work, and still retain the spirit of the originals.

There would be no New Vegas without Fallout 3. Fallout 3 was hot shit at the time, and people bought it and played it and loved it so hard that Bethesda decided to...outsource the sequel to another company. But that company had ex-Interplay people working for it, so in retrospect, that was a brilliant and respectful idea (at least, after they fixed the broken mess Obsidian barfed out initially, probably because Bethesda didn't support them enough, but that's another conversation).

New Vegas is tons of people's favorite game, and rightly so. And it is a way better Fallout game than Fallout 3. But it only exists because Fallout 3 was, and is, pretty good, despite its many flaws.

Fallout 3 is an imperfect game, but is still a good game with a great vibe, DLC that is as good or better than the core game, and a pretty good story (despite the ending), and 100% worth replaying for a hundred hours. And you people need to stop aping Harry and poo-pooing it.

I for one thing think Fallout 3 holds up way better than 4 does at this point, and it's almost twice as old. Maybe I'm just an old Millennial gamerbro, but 3 has a flow and quality consistency that 4 doesn't have, if only because 4 is packed with goofy novelty systems and busy-work and has no self-awareness of how goofy and plot-hole rich its story is. 3 botches the ending, but at least it makes you want to get there.

Now it is time for me to post this, and be blighted by Fallout 4 stans with Preston Garvey bicep tattoos.

[ifanimaltrapped]

What Was Lost in Translation in MMBN3: The Tally

Hello, friends. Despite having an active fanbase, I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of information on the MMBN series when it comes to issues of translation and localization. During my recent replay of BN3, I noticed something that had always bugged me when I played it as a kid: the “Tally” Key Item, which a guard asks for before you’re allowed to enter the Undernet, an area infamous in MMBN’s world for being lawless and highly dangerous. But just what is this tally? What does it count? Why does the guard want it? Let’s needlessly fixate on a small detail in a children’s game from 20 years ago see if we can finally unravel this decades-old mystery with the help of the JP text.

Debuting in 2001 and concluding in 2009 with a Japan-only remake of BN1, the MMBN series falls into an awkward “growing pains” phase of Japanese-to-English localization: just after the PS1 gold rush of JRPGs kicked off by Final Fantasy VII where localization was a lawless frontier, but before developers started grasping that localization was its own discipline that needed to work alongside game creators directly for crucial context and technical input. MMBN’s localizations are indicative of the era’s shortcomings as a whole: largely serviceable translations marred by obvious errors caused by localizers working in the dark without context.

The Tally confusion is emblematic of this problem. In BN3, you acquire an item called a “Tally” which you need to get by a guard in front of the entrance to the Undernet. Everyone who’s played BN3 has thought something along these lines: “What is this a tally of, exactly? Why does the guard let me pass when I show it?” Luckily for us, a quick glance at the original JP text yields the answer.

The JP text calls this item ura no warifu. Some of you may already know that ura, meaning reverse side or hidden side, is what the Undernet is called in the original Japanese script of MMBN. Look up warifu in most common online dictionaries, though, and you’ll get back a definition that says something like “tally” or “check”... but that still doesn’t answer what this thing is supposed to be or why the guard wants it.

Historically, a warifu is very similar to the Western concept of indentured documents: splitting a piece of paper or wood in half, both parties keep one half, and they fit the halves back together like puzzle pieces when the deal is concluded to prove their identity. Before international banking or ID cards, this was the only real way to do that. Hence the somewhat misleading definitions of “tally” and “check”: these were indeed once used as proof in transactions, like as a tally of goods, but what’s important in this context is how they were once a proof of identity too.

Take another look at the item’s icon in the screenshot above: it should hopefully be clear now that it’s supposed to be a piece of wood split in half in such a way as to make each piece too unique to duplicate, hence the odd “U”-shaped hole at the bottom. That’s why the guard won’t let you pass without it: denizens of the Undernet, being outlaws, don’t have any official way to prove they’re supposed to be there, so they have to resort to primitive methods like this. When he says you need a “Tally” to go through, what he’s trying to say is that you need the wood piece that matches his to prove your identity.

The reason this was all lost in translation is almost certainly because the localizers lacked the context to understand which aspect of a warifu was important. Back in 2003, it would have been common for localizers to just be faxed enormous spreadsheets with the raw JP text of the game’s script. Sometimes scene notes would be provided, but more often they wouldn’t. I’d bet money that some beleaguered localizer saw ウラ のわりふ in a lonesome cell on a gargantuan spreadsheet and wondered about it, but then realized he had an 8-character limit on Key Item names and still had 6,000 pages to go, so he just typed in “Tally” and moved on. With the benefit of hindsight, the best solution would’ve probably been to go with something like “UndrPass” (recall the 8-character max for Key Item names) and try to fit something in the item description about how it had been split in half as proof of identity.

Funnily enough, warifu actually cropped up in another recent game, but you probably didn’t notice it:

The above screenshot is from Elden Ring, and 割符 is how warifu is written in kanji. Literally, the kanji for warifu mean “split token” or “divided token”. As I understand it, this detail was omitted for concision and the item is simply referred to as a medallion (I have not actually played Elden Ring myself, so I’m just going off of wiki pages). Still, it just goes to show you never know when the lessons you learned from one game can appear in another!

If there’s interest, there’s a number of other topics I can cover in regards to MMBN and its troubled localization. Off the top of my head, there’s:

- Why is the End Area in BN5 called that? It’s a feudal Japanese town and not even the last area in the game; there’s nothing particularly final about it. The answer is probably the biggest mistranslation in the series, and it all comes back to - you guessed it - the localizers once again not having enough context!

- Did you know the fake names of countries were invented in localization, and in JP, MMBN expressly takes place in Japan instead of Electopia (although it’s spelled differently than how one would usually spell it, which raises questions of its own)? Further, numerous references are made to Akihabara, and the final level of BN2 is all but stated to take place in Yokohama, among other examples.

- The meaning of Mamoru’s name in BN3 has already been well documented, but did you know there’s still more to be uncovered? The TV in Lan’s house foreshadows the importance of the Ura Inn, and a pun lost in translation highlights the connection between Tamako and MetalMan.

- What’s up with everyone’s English names? What kind of name is “Chaud”, anyway? The answer is a classic case of a solution for one stand-alone game working perfectly... until you get a sequel and suddenly a detail added in localization starts to spiral out of control, like what happened with the first Phoenix Wright game taking place in America for the English localization. In fact, there’s a very special connection between Ace Attorney and MMBN... maybe I can go into it some more!

I know this is a marked departure from my usual fare, so do let me know if you’ve enjoyed this, and if you’re interested in any of the above. Have a great week!

Yours in gratitude, If Animal Trapped

[lightgirlification]

My God the Twisted Wonderland Manga

This manga portrays the pain that Riddle had to go through with so much more emotion then the game could portray.

The game does a fine job on it’s own, but the manga takes the story and RUNS with it. The expressions, the feelings, and again the emotions shine through brilliantly.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Riddle was twisted (haha pun) by his mother so fiercely that he believed his way was absolute, it wasn’t his fault it was just how he was raised. But how she molded him turned him into someone that he never wanted to be.

Look at this boy, this 17 YEAR OLD boy. This is not a normal expression nor words for someone his age to have or say, but he’s held in so much pain, been held down by so much pressure by his mother that it warped him.

Even on the verge of an overblot, he still tries to prove that his way is right. Maybe it’s because he didn’t realize he was using so much magic, maybe it’s because he didn’t care, maybe it’s a bit of both. He needed to prove everyone wrong, that he was right. Because:

In his mind, if was wrong, then all he learned, all he’s been through was for nothing. All that pain he’s been through was for nothing. In his mind he’s been through hell, why shouldn’t he have a happy ending?

Because it’s not fair, life isn’t fair is it?

He was granted a family that never shown him love, and never thought about what HE wanted.

Lady. He just wanted ONE THING for his damn birthday and you deny him even that. He is 8 years old and you not only neglect his wants, but his calory intake is MUCH too low. 

Riddle should’ve been allowed to run and play with other children his age, eat what he wanted, just allowed to be a normal child. He didn’t deserve to be cooped up studying all the time; his mother living through him.

And Chenya and Trey granted him that reprieve. They didn’t treat him like a glass doll or a pampered boy.

They treated him as he should’ve been from the very beginning. And they bonded deeply despite it only being just a few days, and it’s what riddle needed.

And being able to taste the strawberry tart he wanted to for so long:

It made him so happy, and isn’t that what he deserved? Being allowed a normal childhood with childhood friends and abundant sweets But good things can’t last forever.

Can you see why I DESPISE Riddle’s mother? She treats her own son like an object, something to be used to achieve her own goals. She gave Riddle so much trauma that he felt that rule breaking would lead people down a dark path.

So that’s why he became hardened. Listening to a mother that caused Riddle so much suffering when all Riddle wanted was her to love him. 

But still, he calls out to her, books piled and hands bloodied; desperately asking what ‘rule’ would make the pain in his chest go away.

And there is none. The only way that pain was ever going to go away was if he let his emotions out, and he was never allowed to. To me, an Overblot is equivalent to a real life mental breakdown. All the negative emotions come out, your head is completely overrun, and you can’t stop screaming. 

Your senses dull, you can’t remember where you are or whose around you, and you end up not caring if anyone hears. You could say things you never meant to say, things that you’ve kept deep inside and never wanted anyone to hear, but after holding it all in for so long you are past the point of caring. You just can’t take the anxiety that squeezes your chest like a vice, the voices and memories that repeat in your head like a VHS tape constantly rewinding itself. It’s terrifying, and you lose the ability to even breathe, starting to see everyone around you as a threat. It’s why I looked at Riddle after he overblotted and didn’t see a tyrant. I saw a lonely, terrified child who didn’t know what he was supposed to believe anymore.

And the difference between Riddle’s mother and him, is that he genuinely cares. This whole time, he just wanted everyone around him to excel and succeed, that desire was never corrupt. Was the way he went about it wrong, absolutely, but he has that chance to change, to be better then his mother ever was. He has a chance to grasp that freedom, it’s not too late for him.

And the saddest thing to me, is that Riddle has to pick up those pieces that he never should’ve in the first place.

But you know what? With the people he has at his side, he’ll be okay. Because despite everything, despite all those lonely years, he won’t be alone anymore.

[burntheedges]

get to know me tag 💕

tagged by @sp00kymulderr @sheepdogchick3 @mermaidgirl30 thanks y’all 🫶🏻

1. Were you named after anyone? yes, after two of my great grandmothers. and my name is just Kate, it's not short for anything.

2. When was the last time you cried? definitely in the last week. a few days ago? I had therapy on Monday, that might be when. lol

3. Do you have kids? no. we're on the fence. I have approximately one million nieces and nephews and niblings, though.

4. What sports do you play/have played? I danced growing up — I was in a company, we did ballet, jazz, tap, lyrical/contemporary, hip hop, etc. that was mostly what I did with my time (5 days/week). I took classes in college and grad school and I've looked for tap classes everywhere I've lived since. I still take tap classes now (it was always my favorite).

5. Do you use sarcasm? does anyone... not?

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? faces, I guess? I'm pretty good at remembering names if I'm paying attention, so I'm matching a face to a name.

7. What’s your eye color? brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I can't do scary movies like, at all. but there are like three specific things that will keep me from watching a movie (like, when people crawl like crabs), and if it's scary or a thriller and it doesn't have those things I can probably manage it. I am a sucker for happy endings. all of my fic have happy endings. like, I'll read other stuff, but it's just who I am. if I ever write solid angst we should all be impressed I managed it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

9. Any talents? dance, since I had so many years of lessons. I'm pretty good with languages.

10. Where were you born? Georgia (the US state, not the country)

11. What are your hobbies? knitting, sewing. I just realized I can add writing to this list, which is kind of exciting? also watching hockey. video games.

12. Do you have any pets? one cat, Olly (short for Oliver)

13. How tall are you? 5'6"

14. Favorite subject in school? languages (Spanish, Russian), history, and in college, linguistics

15. Dream job? sometime y'all should get me to monologue about the years I spent disentangling the idea of work from the idea of a calling (thanks, grad school). but I don't have a dream job. I know generally what I like to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like I've tagged a billion people this week so please just tell me if you don't want to be tagged in these things lol

no pressure tags: @katareyoudrilling @davnittbraes @djarins-cyare @beardedjoel

[sazorak]

Every Game I Played in 2023, Ranked

I debated moving this list to Cohost (after all these years, the Tumblr text post interface still makes me want to punch a wall) but whatever, here we are! Keeping it relatively short this year.

A lot of the games I played aren't going to be on this list because I don't have much new to say about them (MTG, Dwarf Fortress, Strive, etc), but for those that I do, here's the games I played this year.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

SD Gundam Battle Alliance - 2022 - Steam - ★★★

I really wanted to like this- you know I like me some Gundam- but the experience is simultaneously too thin, too grindy, and bereft of stakes. There's nothing like "oh no we have to preserve the Gundam metaverse from hackers ruining the archived story!" to make me go to sleep.

There's something about the progression system of every "hey, gotta catch 'em all!"-ish Gundam games that is designed exclusively for people who either played these games in the early 00s, or people with addictive personalities. There's been little in the way of evolution. Yeah, the gameplay here is different as a sort of Action RPG, but this is far more Dynasty Warriors than it is say Armored Core.

Just not for me!

... Where's my new Super Robot Wars at damn it?

9. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC - 2023 - Switch - ★★★★

I talked last year about how I mostly liked this game in spite of its many, many issues. The DLC mostly plays to SV's strengths: fun plot and characters, improved open world catching system from Sword/Shield. They also run considerably better, due to a year of opportunity to make things more stable and address bugs.

That said: It doesn't address any of the other issues that have always been there. Open world exploration becomes kind of pointless when you have the ability to invalidate any level geometry. There is such a thing as too much mobility, believe it or not, when you can just jump over everything. At the same time, the ways cutscenes work is soooo slowwwww, to the point that getting through them to the "action" can be quite tedious.

This DLC also continues the unfortunate thing that drives me nuts about all these DLC, that the level scaling is just awful. It basically assumes you have done literally nothing since finishing Scarlet Violet, and not engaged at all with the post game. Which hey, works out for Lil Timmy who is experiencing this DLC in-line with the base game or only after beating it (since it does dynamically scale for earlier progression), but it makes the whole thing kind of a rote exercise for those who actually played the game more than that?

I realize this is multiple decades now of me barking that hey, it'd be nice if Pokemon didn't exclusively try to appeal to 5 year olds, which is definitely a lost cause at this point. We don't even get stuff like Battle Towers or Frontiers anymore really. Ah well!

8. Street Fighter 6 - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★

Ok, here's the thing: Street Fighter 6 is overall a very good game, lots of care and polish, but I got a few bones to pick with it.

1. I kind of hate its input buffer. Just drives me nuts, particularly with how it handles supers and specials with overlapping inputs.

2. World Tour while is neat, the progression of it is so goddamn grindy and miserable. So much HP for enemies as you go on, and you don't have access to a fighter's full skill set even at the very end due to how special "slots" work.

3. The cast feels too safe. I like the new additions a lot, and in general the old chars have been rendered quite well, but there's just not a lot of innovation going on. The system mechanics are quite good, but it's the thing where no one on the cast really calls out to me. Personal taste thing.

Marvel's Spider-Man - 2022 - Steam - ★★★★

I don't think I have anything particularly unique to say about The Spider-Man Experience beyond hey: that's a pretty good Spider-Man. I think the DLC was obnoxious as shit, and a number of the decisions tied to box-checking-completionist stuff were mean for someone like me who has the stupid brain that thinks it's important to do Everything no matter how tedious it is, but overall: a good Spider-Man. Some of the villain stuff felt pretty weak though.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A great remake! They trimmed down some areas a fair but, but none of them particularly egregious (some of them, particularly a last act boss being removed, was quite appreciated), and the mechanical additions are fun.

Does it invalidate the old version? I dunno, maybe?

6. We Love Katamari Re:Roll - 2023 - Steam / Switch - ★★★★★

Hey, you know what's also a very good game? We Love Katamari. Not much new to say beyond hey: the name is accurate, and you should buy and play it. I liked it enough to buy it twice on two platforms, which is silly but it gave me the excuse to play more Katamari so quite understandable.

A thing that does annoy me about the game is them reusing certain models from the other Katamari Remake, even when they were deliberately replaced in We Love Katamari and are even called out as different in the item descriptions despite not being so. Arrgh. It doesn't really matter, but I got the dumb brain for that kind of thing.

5. Granblue Fantasy Versus: Rising - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A fighting game that I enjoyed years past now has actually good netcode! The mechanical additions have been very nice, and I've been enjoying myself grinding away for my meager gains. It's also funny having skipped all the base game's DLC and coming in now, since it's like this release just added 20 more chars I'd otherwise not engaged with before.

A ton of polish has made this a fantastic package across the board, so many smart decisions and little details. I'm sure for GranBlue gacha fans it's probably incredible as something that pays tribute as well.

… but see, my main annoyance with the game mostly ties to being unable to stand the source material it pulls from. It's not enough to diminish my positive feelings for the game, but none the less: man, everything about the lore and characters themselves just does NOTHING for me. This is nothing particularly unique to GranBlue itself even, it's pretty in line with how I feel about every gacha title that exists to roll out chars and appeal to as many niches as possible without real forward movement or actual story, but hey here we are.

Looking forward to that 2B.

4. Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

A game I admittedly haven't completed yet (I got up to a certain kidnapping in the last act and had to set it aside due to stuff repeatedly coming up for the past couple months) but still: this is a very good tactical RPG. I enjoy the writing, characters, and gameplay quite a lot. A ton of polish went into this.

I don't think I have much to say about it that hasn't been said by others, especially with all the Discourse that has circled it for months-to-years now across Early Access into release.

If there's one thing that does kind of annoy me about the game design, it's the way the player characters are handled. You have the option during character creator to create a character with a number of character-build-y backgrounds, or use their pre-built characters that have existing stories. This choice is lose-lose.

A fully custom character is blank, unimportant. There's nothing special about them beyond their affinity with a certain orb and being Protagonist Man. Their background doesn't really matter, even as you express your personality. You have nothing behind you that meaningfully comes up or affects the story (no Gorion, etc) beyond your role in the conflict. In other words, there's not a lot of reason for you to exist except as a cypher for the named characters.

Playing one of the named characters also sucks, because you lose those the writing for those characters. If I'm stuck aping Karlach, I have no Karlach in my party. You barely even get voice acting once you choose to play those characters either. You effectively end up with less writing and characterization, which kind of sucks! Yes, you do get your backgrounds being looped in and mattering more, which is indeed something, but not enough.

There is secretly a third option that, the more I think about it, is the correct one, they just don't tell you it. You can choose your character background to be tied to the Dark Urge, which results in a lot unique interactions, gives your character an actual background and comes up, etc. They don't outright make this the main option presumably because it comes with a lot of baggage (which, yeah, it does), but it seems completely worth it by comparison to just flitting through the story as either a ghost or the phantom of a real character.

3. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Remastered - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

Play Ghost Trick.

2. Armored Core VI - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

From Software continues to not miss. Fantastic game, some of the most satisfying mecha combat I've played. Story is great; it's still your usual "oops we're not explaining much other than in medias res or by circumstantial details" that From Soft has continued to double down on, but I really enjoy that stuff so hey. I 100%'d this game, got all the endings etc. Great stuff.

Really want some proper DLC so I can do even more, though.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★★

Let's face it: this wasn't going to end any other way. Breath of the Wild is probably my favorite game of all time, and this is basically just more of that, remixed and remastered into a Second Quest that builds on the first one.

Something I kept thinking about while playing is that while there is volumetrically more to do, more things happening, more mechanics, etc etc, the different approach it takes in terms of focus and approach doesn't make it necessarily a "strictly better" version of Breath of the Wild.

Breath of the Wild was deliberately spare, quiet, and minimalist. Like the name says, its about the quiet wilderness, a poignant world that you explore. Tears of the Kingdom drops much of that, in many ways turning into a kooky madcap version of BOTW. You don't spent nearly as much time smelling the roses and taking in the scenery, as you're often too busy blasting by using any number of the new movement abilities or combat tools or literal flying machines you can now Nuts and Bolts together.

It's a deliberate escalation, one that in my opinion requires the preceding part to work. They add together into one complete singular experience, rather than pulling against each other. That's awesome, exactly what I wanted. Now I get to have two favorite games of all time that are secretly just one-and-the-same.

Some minor thoughts:

1. Lots of great writing and characterization, built up well on BOTW there.

2. It's kind of funny how much it goes out of the way to avoid talking much about BOTW in case someone plays this game first.

3. The last of a Master mode this time around is kind of a bummer but oh well!

4. The vehicle crafting system and everything about it, including the way it plays into the existing physics system is fucking insane. Absolutely incredible game design. Bonkers.

I'm really curious how the hell they're going to follow these games up. Going back to square-0 from this formula- one that is so built up and diverse, seems like it'd be impossible to me. What the hell could you do? Looking forward to finding out.

[peony-pearl]

(this was part of a discussion from another post that I wanted to move to it’s own post bc this right here is the crux of my emotions for Iroh and Zuko and Azula; it does end kind of abruptly but yeah this is me wordvomiting my feels)

--------

Man the Iroh and Azula relationship in atla breaks my heart because, yes, there is favoritism - but the situations that built up to it are so specific and tragic on both ends (this is more of me rambling bc I have brainworms for this fam oughghghg if you read this thank you)

I do believe that Iroh did what he could to maintain a good relationship with both Zuko and Azula before he left for BSS. Zuko was 8, Azula was 6. That’s YOUNG. I almost wonder if she could remember what he looked like, because after Lu Ten’s death, I think he immediately took that journey before returning to the Fire Nation, thus there could have been another year or two+ until she saw him. She potentially went from ages 6-10 years old without seeing her uncle. Not to mention that even before Ursa left, Azula was already parroting Ozai’s rhetoric. Now with her mother gone, Azula had her father’s full attention and her friends (until the three were separated).

Zuko on the other hand, after his mother’s disappearance, didn’t have any friends from what we saw, nor did he have his father’s approval, and his relationship with Azula? We’re unsure of at this time, but all things considered, he’s had a resentment towards her because of the trauma Ozai is putting him through (which is also trauma to Azula by emotionally excluding her and putting her on a pedestal that he himself will topple). When Iroh returns, Zuko, who is most likely lonely AF, gives his uncle some attention, who then in turn, gives Zuko attention he’s wanted from one of his elders for a long time.

Azula, entrenched in Ozai’s teachings, resents Iroh for abandoning Ba Sing Se, and sees how he overindulges with tea and food to cope with the pain. She won’t be like him; and to even be seen near him by her father is embarrassing. But I’m almost certain she would see the relationship Zuko and Iroh were forging and it HURT. Iroh probably doesn’t force her to talk; that’s not the conversation he wants to have is to force her to spend time with someone she doesn’t want to be around. Besides, to anger Azula could lead to angering his brother, and he’s not at all ready for that mess. He of all people knows the almighty power of the Fire Lord; he was prepared to carry that glorious burden his whole life until it slipped from his fingers.

Ultimately Iroh is fine talking to just Zuko; but no one sees the seeds that are being planted. Iroh doesn’t realize how he’s still playing the game his father embedded in their minds. Iroh leaves Azula to her devices, unaware of how she is living the life that created and destroyed Iroh himself, while he can put his misplaced fatherhood upon Zuko. At this point, Zuko still just sees him as uncle.

And then the Agni Kai. Zuko is burned, and Iroh goes with him. I’m not entirely versed in the manga about Azula getting Zuko his ship, but I think it says a lot that Azula, even when upset that Zuko and Iroh had a relationship, made sure Iroh was part of the team because she knew Iroh could ensure Zuko’s survival. Plus it got him out of the palace so she wouldn’t have to keep seeing him or hearing his dumb laugh, or be invited to Pai Sho games (Which she did want to play but Uncle is SO ugh you know?)

And then three years pass. 3 long years in which Iroh and Zuko may not expect to go home. Iroh probably comes to terms with this; he’s older, jaded, still messed up from losing his son and everything that came with it. Zuko, however, wants his birthright (aka his father’s approval and love). Zuko and Iroh are waging this part of their lives together while Azula and Ozai are holding down the fort; she is becoming stronger and smarter, and has every ounce of her father’s approval.

I have a couple of headcanons as to why Iroh’s demeanor had a bit of a big change once we get to season 2. Nearly losing Zuko to the pirates made him realize how much he saw the boy as his surrogate son. So yes, the favoritism is there; they have endured things together for 3 years that have forged a bond that gives Zuko a father figure (that he didn’t really ask for) and Iroh a surrogate son (that he is more than willing to guide and smother) and this topic alone is enough to make me want to scream and wail because Iroh wanting nothing more than a second chance than to guide a son who wants his actual father who cares nothing for him and yet Iroh CONTINUES to try with Zuko? brain goes BRRRR

(but I also heavily headcanon Iroh’s presence during Yue’s sacrifice to have been a game changer in the way he carries himself and continues to live; but that’s just a headcanon; but the way that he watches a princess from a nation he has waged war upon sacrifice her life for a world she’s never seen when he’s lost his son and he almost lost Zuko and watching her fade away gives him stronger convictions to be a true father figure to Zuko; even if he’s still kind of bad at it for a while, his dedication to Zuko as a son really takes flight in the following season and I think this all ties together)

and then when Azula comes to collect them to take to Ozai and lies to Zuko about the thing he’s been wanting for 3 years. The thing that’s kept him up, ate away at him, the thing that SHOULD be natural - his father’s love. It’s a lie.

And Iroh defends his nephew unflinchingly from his sister - who is also just a pawn and a soldier, just like Iroh was. I personally like to imagine he taught her some of her skillset (but would she have retained it since she was last willing to learn from him around the age of 6? She is very smart after all).

But could Iroh have looked at Azula, realizing it was her that shot that lightning and, after Zuko called him a ‘shallow old man’, gone to Azula and asked what Ozai had put her through over the years? Or did he still revere the power of the Fire Lord, and the magnitude of power Azula holds.

This leads to one big problem with the family - communication. Especially for Iroh. Communication SUCKS in this family. Zuko is so volatile that Iroh often cannot bring himself to really explain things to Zuko in a clear way, which doesn’t help because Zuko NEEDS to be spoken to clearly because he does not get metaphors and proverbs - but is Iroh really even the best person to explain to Zuko that his father is hurting both him and his sister? When Zuko wants so desperately to go home and be loved? And yet hearing that his sister is suffering would enrage him when she’s only been adored by Ozai. And even then, if Iroh acknowledges Azula’s suffering, he doesn’t act to help her. Could he though? He doesn’t give up on Zuko (who struggled for validation) but he never attempts with Azula (who had the Fire Lord’s entire approval).

For Season 2, everything about Zuko and Iroh is the path to stay alive and stay free… which they’re not free. They never will be again because the Fire Nation wants them and in order to stay safe they must seek refuge indefinitely in BSS. Thus, they must avoid Azula, who is willing to enact on her father’s orders (he IS the Fire Lord, after all). Azula has also shot Iroh with fire. Yes, Iroh is much older and Azula is 14; but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a point that Iroh looks at her and sees her traveling with her friends, facing the Avatar, besting Iroh himself in a situation and as he wakes up from his injuries after she attacks him, he goes ‘I’m done.’ He would continue to put all of his efforts on Zuko. There is a very potential life or death situation with them being wanted, and Iroh won’t relive losing a child under his care.

And yet he would know where Azula’s life is eventually going to lead her, because he was once her. But he left the Fire Nation to escort Zuko and to keep him safe. Zuko did everything he could to try and finish his father’s task, and now his efforts have only landed him a wanted poster. Azula has the Fire Lord’s blessing and her crown - Zuko and Iroh are all each other have, and they also have the bounty on their heads. The efforts Azula put through to ensure that Iroh kept Zuko safe have now reversed, and they are actively evading her as enemies. The painful irony.

Had Ozai never sent her out to collect them, I absolutely think Iroh would still remain open to his niece. Unfortunately, Ozai continues to task her with ways to divide her from her family and therefore keep her closer to his will. By entrusting her with their capture, he alienates her from her shamed brother and uncle, and then gives them reason to have grief with her and not want to be in her life as she actively and willingly serves her father, not once hearing them out on their side of the story. They are rushing to find a way to stay out of chains and survive while she flawlessly continues her family’s goals.

What if she was never tasked with capturing them? But was still traveling the Earth Kingdom to broaden the Fire Nation’s reign? What if there had been a point when she wasn’t poised to capture them or attack them? I can still see Zuko naturally being bitter that she’s there. Iroh may still even be wary, as having her around after they have not achieved a goal means failure and capture (which is what I reason their reactions to her showing up in The Avatar State to be; they immediately know something is off because without a letter, without warning, Azula shows up in full armor after they have not achieved their goal of capturing the Avatar; and Iroh heard lightning earlier, and if it wasn’t Ozai and he deduces it was Azula? Oh lord she knows how to conjure lightning now which means they’re in deep sludge); but imagine if she’s just there to start her overseas military career, not to capture them. What if she knew they were wanted? What if they saw her, knowing they’re wanted, and they avoid her until they come face to face with her and she’s even more hurt that they immediately believed she would be cold enough to turn them in? They really thought that low of her? lol okay HEY GUARDS. Or what if she was like ‘Zuzu I made sure you had that ship and crew, you really think I’d turn you in?’ Or the opposite? In which Zuko sees Azula and knows they can trust her, but the more they get help from her the more she worries that Ozai is going to learn that she’s been secretly helping them through their escapades as wanted men? What if it had been Azula that got them their passports to BSS and was like ‘go here and stay out of my hair I am BUSY and I can’t keep risking my neck for you like this’.

[free-for-all-fics]

Squid Game prompts and thoughts. Yeah, I know this fandom may be dead, but these are old and have been sitting in my notes app for a long time so I figure I might as well share them here anyway. Maybe it’ll be revived at some point with season 2, who knows. If anyone is inspired by or uses these, pls tag me. I’d love to read it 💜

1. Since In-ho gave Jun-ho a kidney, what if you, In-ho’s spouse, have an unspecified life threatening disease but couldn’t afford treatment. You’re the motive for In-Ho becoming a dirty cop who takes bribes and later entering the games. After winning and becoming the Frontman, he secretly transfers you to his private quarters on the island while you’re cared for; mostly bedridden, closely monitored, hooked up to tubes and wires with all the medication you need, etc. Maybe you’re put in a medical coma or are otherwise in and out of consciousness/disoriented and lethargic. He spends years using his resources and power as Frontman to cure you. Even if he keeps you sedated to take that edge off reality and make things sort of a blur for you. So you’re in an almost constant stupor where you think you’re dreaming even when you’re awake, etc. He’d try to keep you in the dark about the games and what he does, but what if you know more than you let on? What if Jun-ho inadvertently found you while snooping in the Frontman’s private quarters during his investigation into the disappearances of both you and his brother? (Ep. 5 & 7)?

2. “Isn’t the idea supposed to be ‘you saved my life, now I owe you a debt’?”

“Nope. You saved my life, now I’m your problem.” With either Salesman or Frontman.

3. It’s been a few weeks since your (relative, friend, neighbor, you choose.) went missing. You hear a knock on the door. As you open it, you realize that the man in front of you is not a typical solicitor or salesman. Before you can say anything, he says, “They said you’ll pay the debt.”

4. He’s one of the best recruiters for the games. A mastermind of persuasion and manipulation. He could sell rocks to jewelers, woo any man or woman, and even get away with murder. Until he meets you, his match: The most obstinate, unyielding, stubborn person whom he’s ever encountered. Your personal records tell him you’re not in the best of situations, and yet you’re not falling for any of his tricks or games. There’s nothing you seem to want or need that he can offer you. You keep turning him down, declining everything he claims he can give you, totally uninterested and not falling for any of it. But that just makes you all the more intriguing to him. As frustrating as you are, you’re a challenge. And neither of you are ones to give up easily. Maybe he won’t recruit you to play in the games after all. Maybe your resolve to resist temptation shows him you have potential for something even greater.

5. You’re one of the most aggressive salespeople alive; you steal money from your “customers” but leave an item they want, of equivalent value, behind. You’re threatening the Salesman’s “business” by taking away his “customers”. He has to decide what to do about this. Would he try to get you out of the way? Or Perhaps you could be a useful “business” partner?

6. The world’s most arrogant salesman meets the world’s most ignorant customer.

7. In-ho and Salesman, or In-ho and Jun-ho prompt: After years of struggling to pay off your college tuitions, all your debts are taken care of. Relief grows into suspicion when you come home. An unfamiliar black vehicle is parked nearby. Two men in expensive suits stand up when you enter. How did they get inside? “You’re not an easy person to track down. You know that, right?”

8. You’re behind on payments. A salesman recruits you to do a “housekeeping” job to clear your debt, handing you a card. His “colleague” (The Frontman) will act as your benefactor if you accept. It isn’t until you’re kidnapped and wake up on an island that you find out your task is to act as a forensic cleaner. You’re expected to wash away, disinfect and sanitize every game’s messes, removing all traces of murder and death after bodies are disposed. Not a drop of blood in sight. No human matter or fingerprints left to be found. You haven’t officially met the Frontman, but from what guards have said, you don’t want to know what would happen if he found out you missed a spot. The pink guards and surviving players leave you alone to do your job at the end of each game. But something is wrong. It feels like someone is still there, watching you at all times. What’s also weird is you’re assigned a room close to the Frontman’s quarters and kept separate from the other guards. He doesn’t trust the other guards to leave you be. Basically, you’re the only masked guard who’s a woman during the games. In-ho and/or the Salesman is interested in you and purposely sought you out. What happens?

9. You’re deep in student debt with no hope to pay it off in your lifetime, so you do the logical thing: Fake your death and move to South Korea to live an inconspicuous life under a new identity. The bank can’t really do anything since you’re “dead”. All your paper/online trails have been expertly wiped. So you thought. Some years later, door-to-door salesmen in your area start asking to be let inside. You know that’s not how salesmen do things. Something’s up. This prompts you to move around the country, never staying still too long. Seoul, Busan, etc. you’re on the move the second you feel they’re onto you. Until a man in a gray suit enters your train compartment and slides the door shut behind him. He sits next to you despite there being empty seats. His polite demeanor becomes unnerving. Small talk becomes invasive. He asks rhetorical questions - already knowing everything about you. He’s backing you into a corner. He opens his briefcase to display damning evidence detailing your “past life”, a sly smile on his face. Well, shit. Can’t run or hide on a moving train. And it’s a non-stop trip that will take a few hours. What do you do now?

10. Being In-ho and Jun-ho’s younger sister would include, before and after In-ho’s entered the games? Or maybe a fic where you’re their younger sister and unknowingly in a relationship with the Salesman (as in, you don’t know what exactly he does for work and are in the dark about your eldest brother’s involvement with the games. Your other brother doesn’t tell you much, if anything, about his investigations into In-ho’s disappearance, claiming the less you know the safer you’ll be. To you, your eldest brother is still missing after so many years and Jun-ho is still trying to find him. You haven’t heard from either of them in so long. Recently, Jun-ho has stopped responding to your messages. Now you’re getting worried. You may have to go out there and find your brothers yourself, to hell with the risks.)

[cuoredimuschio]

15 people, 15 questions

tagged by @patchworkgargoyle!! 💚💚

1. are you named after anyone?

my dead name was possibly in honor of my grandmother and great-grandmother, but i 100% named myself after noah czerny (trc) when i was 17 👻

2. when was the last time you cried?

probably yesterday? idk, it happens a lot and my memory's terrible

3. do you have kids?

no. probably never will, whether i want them or not. i'm a little too scared of how easy it is screw up in parenthood

4. what sports do you play/have played?

i played softball from kindergarten through eighth grade, but that last year, i had a coach who benched me for over half of our games and screamed at me during practice in front of the whole team and made me sick to my stomach at just the thought of playing, so i decided i was done with the sport and didn't try out in high school lol

5. do you use sarcasm?

constantly. too much probably. but like, not with strangers usually, and i try to make it pretty obvious if i am being sarcastic

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

the way they look at me/their expression, maybe? i'm just like. constantly on edge in public and i don't pass super well and also i'm just like. wildly self-conscious, so i'm always like 'okay, let's see, does this random stranger already hate me? 🤔'

7. what's your eye color?

i guess hazel would be most accurate answer. i've always said brown (dishwater brown to quote the midwife who helped deliver me), but it turns out there's actually green in there too and it's just brown around my pupil (a fact i genuinely did not realize until i was like. 17) so....yeah, hazel

8. scary movies or happy endings?

you know i always say i don't like scary movies because i'm very easily spooked, but i'm currently back on my chucky shit (sorry followers, but tis the season) and honestly, i wanna cop out and say both, scary movie with a happy ending.

9. any talents?

the sad thing is, no, i genuinely can't think of a single one. like, all i've got is that i can make a star with a rubber band, but i don't think that's a talent lol

10. where were you born?

ohio, unfortunately :/

11. what are your hobbies?

writing, reading, playing way too much zelda/stardew valley, occasionally knitting, taking walks, crosswords, making niche playlists, listening to the same song on repeat for hours

12. do you have any pets?

i am the proud proprietor of the cutest dog this side of the mississippi, miss ellie rose. (seasonally-appropriate evidence of said cuteness below)

13. how tall are you?

5'4" (and three quarters) #shortkingnation 😔✊

14. favorite subject in school?

english and math!!

15. dream job?

honestly, i have no idea. i've never had very lofty ambitions; when i was a kid, i wanted to be a bus driver or a mail man, and i never really found anything that stoked my soul in the past two decades. trite english major answer here, but i guess maybe working in a library or a bookstore would be nice (i'd say author but girlie, i could never) 🤷‍♂️

no-pressure, zero-obligation tags: @hellfiredemon, @starryeyedjanai, @pizzaqueen, @thefreakandthehair, @cheatghost, @vecnuthy andddd that's about everyone i know, sorry if i double-tagged anyone!!

[dogtoling]

1. Can Inkfish breath in while swimming (or sitting still) in their ink?

2. So we know that Inkfish don’t have bones, but I heard they have cartilage or something instead. That true? If so, how does that work?

3. Ok while writing this question I realized the answer, but… How do Agent Neo and the rest of the NSS get out of Alterna? (Realized they just super jump)

4. How do Inkfish super jump so accurately and onto moving objects like the Tower?

5. Why did ORCA create puzzles for the Inkfish? Like, not generic puzzles, puzzles specifically designed for Inkfish? Last I checked, all ORCA is is just a storage system with an AI.

6. So… Deep Cut. Wth did they think those random pieces of metal were going to do? I doubt that’s very valuable (unless humans mined all the ore and there’s basically none left, so melting it down gets a lot of money) so like… why fight over pointless junk when there are literal HUMAN ARTIFACTS probably just sitting around Alterna?

7. For a timespan of 12k years, the buildings in Alterna seem quite well preserved… explain.

8. How is Grizz so big and furry? Like, bears aren’t that big. Also the guy can survive in space. Like what.

9. How did Smallfry change like that in the final fight?

10. I keep seeing how Splatoon confirmed magic and now I’m confused.

Lotta questions about Alterna, I bet most can be just chalked up as bad planning regarding the story but like… I wanna hear what you think.

Assuming they're not literally inside the ink but rather on top of it, yes they can breathe

Inklings having cartilage is entirely fanon, they are confirmed not to have bones but they're not confirmed to not have some other type of support structure. People default to cartilage because Inklings are big enough to where SOME kind of support structure would be required, and we do see details of "bones" on the models (especially captain cuttlefish) although i think those are only there because the game's artists still wanted the inklings to have human anatomy. hence why they have kneecaps

yeah they probably super jump.

Game logic. But also Inklings are implied to use (and even need) signals to track when they super jump, so it's likely that they are able to sense magnetic fields and signals that they use to fine tune their trajectory, which is how they're able to super jump so accurately when they don't actually see where they're jumping. (It tracks when you take into accounts spawn points, squid beakons, the huge antenna on the Grizzco boat.. i DON'T know how the hell teammates function in this scenario but alas)

there's no good reason for this one chief the story writers just wanted to reuse octo expansion level design. ardnin has a good theory surrounding this but other than that canon does not have our back here

again the story writers didnt know what the hell to do but corporate quota probably says the new idols of the game HAVE TO be in the main story for marketability reasons so they needed to be in there being the weakest links of any story mode to date. this plot point is made worse by the fact that in the story mode, Agent 3 ISN'T EVEN AFTER THE OBJECTS. you just kind of wander into the boss areas with the thing just lying there abandoned and deep cut shows up like OH MY GODDDDD YOU CANT TAKE THATTTTT like girl, ok! you had 5 hours to take that yourself and leave! the player was never asked to retrieve the things to begin with, we just kinda take it in the end.

this has bothered the hell out of me too and it did the entire time i played through the story mode. Not to mention EVERYTHING looks extremely well-preserved taking into account the, uh... you know, the entire major plot point about the caverns COLLAPSING? lol. Not going to nitpick too much about this but basically the best explanation is that Alterna doesn't experience weather or anything, so it's semi-functional as a type of time capsule.

all but confirmed in the new art book, but Grizz is mutated to ALL HELL. His skeleton doesnt even resemble a bear at this point. Basically, he is insanely mutated. yeah i got nothing on the surviving in space part, i hate the story

i hate the story (the answer is magic i guess)

Related to the previous point, this is WHY people are saying splatoon confirmed magic. I mean there is zero explanation to a smallfry (JUVENILE SALMONID) turning into a 15 meter giant floating fish in rapid 5 second metamorphosis because of Ocean Creature Hopes and Dreams, in SPACE, then going nuts for a while and just............. turning back into a juvenile salmonid. Honest to god I would be more okay with this happening if Smallfry had STAYED as a giant fish, because we know salmonids come in a lot of different forms and whatever they turn into is highly influenced by their life and battles up to that point. So hell, it would've made sense that Smallfry's adventure in Alterna and finally going up against what is basically the Salmonids' arch nemesis would've been a good arc for them to mature, but to pull that magic anime transformation and then just REVERSE IT is just.... You could say it's the salmon equivalent to what the Kraken is for inkfish, but that makes NO SENSE because whereas transformations like that are sensible for inklings which are creatures known to be able to do rapid metamorphosis and alter their body shape, A SALMONID IS A FISH. WITH MUSCLES AND FLESH AND BONES AND STUFF. what HAPPENED HERE bro

anyway thanks for this ask and yes, as you predicted, i believe that 90% of the plot holes in the alterna story are just because they did not have time or interest to make the story cohesive - because of the art book we now know that the Splatoon 3 story mode's first concept was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (although we know next to nothing aside from that), there's barely ANY concept art for fuzzy octarians, barely any concept art for Mr. Grizz, and literally zero mention of O.R.C.A. So at this time I fully believe that for one reason or another the dev team wasn't able to make the story they actually wanted to make, so the story we got was either rushed or just didn't have a lot of effort put into it and that's why everything about it feels so weird and quickly smacked together and it tries way too hard to have a cool climax to the point where it achieves nothing but confusion

[persephoneflowerpetals]

And now I’m back with the HTAS season 2 AU with the summaries for each episode. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

1) Hercules and the Aftermath

Months after Hades’ defeat and after defeating the titans, Hercules reflects on his new life and the future that’s ahead of him now.

2) Hercules and the Hero Tales

When Hercules is asked by Homer for an interview update about his life so far, he also stumbles upon scrolls of heroes before him.

3) Hercules and the Secret Myths

While looking up at his old stuff, Hercules encounters some… indecipherable notes on his old board game “It’s All Greek To Me”

4) Hercules and the Depths of the Ocean

After many years- and in seek for questions to be answered, Hercules visits his cousin, Triton

5) Hercules and the Class Reunion

Trying to separate his mind away from the odd things that he’s been hearing and encountering, Hercules decides to throw a little class reunion party with his old classmates from ProAc.

6) Hercules and the Secret Child

Hades comes back… but along with another god? Wait no, make that one god, one goddess and- wait, why is Persephone with Hades?!

7) Hercules and the Secret… Secrets?

Our hero begins to notice how some gods have been silent about many things…

8) Hercules and the Oceanid Lullaby

Hercules meets Tyche, a quiet Oceanid who leads him through their secluded home and talks to him all about their history…

9) Hercules and the Truth Within

Aphrodite, Hera, Demeter, Hestia, Hades, and Poseidon know something about Zeus and a secret someone that all other gods don’t know about- and this truth could turn out to be mind-blowing for all (no pun intended).

10. Hercules and the Corruption Effect

When Hercules witnesses what lies, deceits, betrayal and anger does to a god- or rather, a goddess- he slowly realizes how impactful the truth was.

11. Hercules and The Single Pale Bluebell

Bonus: I got one part of the idea from this episode with the song “Escapism” played by AJ Michalka

Aphrodite and Amphitrite, two goddesses that knew Metis, tell Hercules about how they came to know the Oceanid during the pre-events of the Titan War.

12. Hercules and the Zeus Effect

Hercules one day comes to speak to Zeus and has him reflect on his own past actions for once in his life.

YOOOOOO THESE ARE SO…JUST…AAAAAAAA THEYRE SO AMAZING

Legit I can see these being real episodes and plots! I love these so so much! If you ever get to posting the fics for these hit me up with the link because I am SO down for reading these!!!! 😁👏👌💕

[la-undercover-latina]

Sunglasses at Night

Summary: Stood up, Amber Lee goes to her godparents house and after a couple pep talks, a 80’s pop hit, and a game of keep away, she’s giggling and very happy with who her parents picked her godparents.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse, being ghosted

The door slamming brought the Southern mom’s attention from the cookies that she had just shut the door on.

“Aunt Taylor?” She called and Ella came down the stairs, seeing her oldest cousin come inside. Nine year old Ella raised a brow.

“Amber? What are you doing here? Didn’t you have that date with that football jock tonight?” Taylor asked, crossing her arms.

“I thought so too. I waited at that damned restaurant for two hours before I noticed he was on AOL,” Amber growled, her eyes on the wine cabinet.

“Come here,” Taylor called, opening her arms for the young woman.

“I am sorry baby. But I don’t want you to become addicted to alcohol, baby. I’m gonna pull the godmomma card here. Amber Nicolette, look at me and you listen here good. I know you have had a shit night, but the cure shouldn’t be much more than a pint of ice cream. I know you’re growing up. But sweetie, I love you and I can’t let you ruin your life,” Taylor grasped Amber’s shoulders so the drummer would have to look her in the eyes. Blue-green eyes met now tearing up Hazel ones.

“I promise auntie,” Amber’s voice broke at her aunt’s words.

“Come here,” Taylor pulled Amber close to her. Amber leaned her head on her aunt’s shoulder, even though needing to bend so Taylor could put her hand on Amber’s head.

“It’s been so long since you called me auntie,” Taylor whispered. The last time she heard those words, Amber had sprained her ankle, and the words were spoken in agony while Nikki drove them to the hospital.

“I’ll always be your auntie. No matter if you’re 8 or 88. Don’t forget that,” Taylor told her, her own eyes filling with tears.

“Pipsqueak, I didn’t know you were coming. You mind coming into the studio for a sec. I want your opinion on some samples,” Nikki spoke with a smile, seeing his only godchild pressed to his wife. He’d ask Taylor later if Amber didn’t tell him.

“Ella, honey!”

“Yes mama?”

“Go get my tape player and my cassettes,” There was one thing that always made the Lee girl laugh and put in a better mood. While Ella turned to go find her mother’s tapes and tape player.

“There’s the little bastards,” Taylor smiled as she spotted her aviators on the coffee table.

“Got it mama,” Ella brought down the items and when she saw the sunglasses perched on her mom’s dirty blonde locks, she didn’t say a word before producing the cassette that her mom was looking for.

“You wanna get the ice cream or candy?” Taylor asked, and Ella smiled bittersweetly.

“I’ll get the ice cream,” Ella told her and the two walked to grab their items and set the table, with three spoons.

-

“Amber, I know you’re supposed to be doing something tonight. It was a date, wasn’t it? Was the guy a tool or something?” A murderous look filled his emerald orbs at the thought of someone mistreating Amber.

“He was a total tool, but not why you think. He never showed up,” Amber explained, tears filling her hazel orbs.

“I’m sorry munchkin. Guys suck, especially teenage boys. I hate to see you have to go through it. But I’m really afraid that this most likely won’t be the last time. Guys suck, but you’re fucking awesome! And I’m not just saying that because you’re my niece and godchild. You’re a great kid and you’ll find someone that realizes that as much as everyone does,” Nikki held a hand on her shoulder, before Amber pulled him into a tight hug.

“I love you Uncle Nikki,”

“Of course kiddo. It’s my job,”

-

“What’s all this?” Amber asked, seeing the tape player before Ella pressed play and stood next to her mom, and that was when Amber noticed black shades covering their eyes.

Before the lyrics game, the mother-daughter duo bobbed their heads to the beat of the 80’s hit.

Once Corey Hart’s voice filled the living room, a smile spread across Amber’s pink lips.

When the chorus came around, both mother and daughter pointed to her and sang along, making a giggle leave Amber’s lips. By the second go around, Amber had started singing along and letting her head fall back while she danced with her aunt and cousin.

“It always worked. Even when you were a baby. Used to annoy your uncle that it wasn’t rock music that got you all giggly,” Taylor tickled Amber’s sides, causing the nine year old Ella to run up and start tickling the girl that she felt was the older sister that never had biologically.

“Oh you’re on Cupcake,” Amber got into a running stance and Ella recognized it and ran towards the coffee table. Which then led to a game of keep away with the two girls. That was before Jude came down and saw that his big sister needed his help, and even at seven, he knew that he and Ella stood a chance against Amber if it was 2 on 1.

Taglist

@youlightmeupfinn @buckysimp101 @hallecarey1 @kata1803 @emely-ala @hisredheadedgoddess28 @chevygirl88 @midsummereve1993