#Knowledge to her freaking advantage out there

[fallenhunnyapple]

Some Baby Savior AU Expansion

This is an Adamsapple AU because I love them they have taken over my life. I'm sorry in advance because there's a lot going on and I'm bad at being succinct.

This AU works under the Assumption that Adam didn't Die to get into Heaven. He was Ascended while he was still alive as a 'reward' for staying 'good', having not eaten of the Fruit of Knowledge. But his children were still tainted because of their mother, and so while they were still young, the eldest still only being in their teens, he was taken away from them to stay safe in Heaven.

Also, there are yearly meetings held a week after Exterminations where Lucifer and Adam (and Lute) meet in order to discuss quotas, numbers, etc. They're mandatory as per the agreement.

So-

Lilith left Lucifer while Charlie was still just an infant and he had to raise her alone. It was Difficult and when Lucifer was Busy, Charlie spent a lot of time being watched by her Aunts and Uncles, the Sins. But he foolishly let himself trust the people of his ring once and they took advantage, an Overlord trying to vy for more influence hired someone to steal the Princess and hold her hostage. The night before the Extermination.

Lucifer is already overworked and stressed and now having his daughter kidnapped made him lose his mind and go on a full rampage, destroying part of Pentagram City in his blind rage and panic. Which, Great for the Exorcists as long as they keep out of his way because that means they can pick off all the freaked out and fleeing sinners.

And it's during this panicked frantic mess that Adam quite literally drops in on these shady sinners (through the ground because of Hell's shitty infrastructure) who try to Kill him. Surprise, Angelic Steel weapons are being manufactured and they can Hurt Angels. They're still no match for Adam, so he kills them, but not without getting nicked by a few bullets, his arm injured, his wing useless, and his mask a little shattered. And then he hears a fussy crying sound and finds a baby hidden in a nearby crate. Pale with cute red cheeks and golden hair. She reminds him of someone. And she reminds him of his youngest daughter the last time he saw her... Well, she's hellborne, so he wasn't going to kill her anyway. Maybe he'll just take her home with him and he can puppy dog eyes at Sera until she let him keep her!

But he can't fly with these injuries, so he needs to go to the Embassy where he knows Lute and his girls will be waiting for him. But the Embassy is really close to Lucifer's rampage zone. What's he being so insane about anyway? And after almost becoming collateral, and Adam Yelling at him, it clicks. Those red cheeks were familiar for a reason. She must be his kid. There go his plans for bringing her with him. And here he was picking out a name and everything : / He can't bring himself to hate her or to take her away from her dad when he's obviously so upset. It's Begrudgingly that he gets Lucifer's attention to give the baby back. He's attached to her now.

A week after the Extermination, there's a meeting. To discuss the use of Angelic Weapons in hell, to find out who and how they're being made and distributed and ending that production immediately. And Lucifer can't exactly trust anyone in Pride anymore so Charlie comes to the meeting. She's happy to see the weird Kitty again. Adam is Thrilled to see her and spends a good chunk of the meeting making silly faces to make her laugh.

This becomes Normal, Charlie coming to the meetings, too young to understand anything but excited to get to see Adam. She has very clearly gotten attached to him.

Many years pass (Charlie is over 200 years old, and I assume that means super slow aging so she's developmentally 6 years old) and Adam tells Lucifer to not bring Charlie to the meeting. Lucifer agrees and leaves her with Bee in Gluttony. At the meeting, Adam is there in person, pacing and stressed. Lucifer arrives to find him in that state and Adam breaks down, begging on his knees for Lucifer to keep him in Hell. He can't go back to Heaven. They're going to make him remarry Lilith and she's probably into pegging and he doesn't want to be pegged.

Lucifer tries to wrap his mind around the fact that Lilith is in Heaven. Adam feels a little guilty but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't force Lilith to go home and stop being a deadbeat Mom. Lucifer is Mad that Adam never told him Lilith was in Heaven, he knew how much of a struggle he was having without her. Adam tries to make excuses and reverts to begging again, saying they won't let him leave Heaven again if he goes back. And that hits a cord. Lucifer's angry about the thing with Lilith, but Charlie didn't know her mother. She knew Adam though, and he doesn't want her to go through the pain of losing someone important to her. Okay, he'll help keep Adam safe in Hell so Heaven can't get to him. And by that Point, Adam was reminded that there's a chance that Heaven might come after Charlie so actually he'd be staying regardless so he can keep an Eye on Charlie and keep her safe.

Unbeknownst to Adam though, Lucifer has a secret. He'd fallen in love with him. It's 100% because of seeing how good Adam is with Charlie. Charlie is Lucifer's Everything, she is the most important thing in his life and she likes and gets along with Adam and Adam clearly cares for her and that means more than anything else could. And he's in love because of it. But he doesn't tell Adam that.

Together Adam and Lucifer raise Charlie, they're Dad/Daddy and Dadam (Adam came up with it because actually being called a nickname for father reminded him too much of the kids he didn't get to see grow up). And when Charlie gets old enough to move out on her own, Empty Nest Syndrome kicks in. But in the "we're not raising a kid together anymore, we should go our separate ways" kinda way. Because the entire time Lucifer never said anything about his feelings so they'd been Platonically co-parenting for over a century while Lucifer pined.

Charlie finds out that Adam is thinking of moving out and panics because she thinks this means her dads are getting a divorce. She never knew they weren't married. She never knew they weren't even Together. Because they sure Seemed to love each other all those years! She tries to encourage her dad to tell Adam how he feels and he does. It doesn't go well. Adam doesn't believe it, he refuses. (And it's not because he doesn't love him, Adam has loved him consistently since Eden) But he just can't accept it and decides it's Definitely better to move out. Lucifer goes into a depressive isolated episode while Adam is out there going on week long Benders to try and cope. The Sins have to get involved once Charlie reaches out, worried about both of them because Lucifer is barely responsive and Adam is dismissive. Ozzie tries to find out what's going on with Lucifer and Bee is taking care of the doped up drunken depressed mess that is Adam, she knows how to deal with drunks.

The Sins and Charlie are going to help them sort out their shit so they can actually try to be happy together the way they should have been the whole time. That's about where the conversation's ended for now. Orz this is long

Gonna @ the people who seemed interested in more info @lordxsblog @fightinsoda

[i-cant-sing]

Saya want know how Qasim look,are you have proposal?(≡・x・≡)

(pics below) Qasim, the brother, is older than reader by 5 years. He has chocolate brown hair, thick messy locks, and green eyes. He's gifted with eiditic/photographic memory which made him excel in school and he obviously had a high IQ as well. Doesnt mean reader thinks he's intelligent. Sure, Qasim is book smart, but he's not- street smart. Y/n has been the one to often make him realise that his friends were taking advantage of him by making him do their homework, or that they were laughing at him not with him because of his intellect. But reader chalks it up to his sweet nature, her goody-two-shoes of a brother who was hafidh (memorised the Quran) would always be the forgiving person. Its not that he was a pushover, he just... preferred to be the bigger person. Always. He'd chuckle and ruffle your hair "so what if I cleaned up their mess? it only took me 5 minutes and the job was done. Its okay, Y/n." He's always so selfless. You used to worry that he'd get hurt because he's too kind, you used to think he couldnt stand up for himself because he just didnt know when to- but no. Qasim was quite protective over you. When he saw you trying to tackle one of his so-called bullies, the boy towering over you (but you dont consider the height advantage, not when youre a raging kitten), Qasim stepped in and landed a single punch that knocked him down. (then big bro had to spend the rest of the day consoling u because you made him fight someone- and in ur head, that was the biggest sin u made him commit).

Qasim in Arabic means "the generous one" or "the one who shares", and being the older bro, he took his name quite literally. You were the younger sibling, the spoiled brat, the princess! But Qasim never had any problems with sharing anything with you, be it materialistic things or advice or even knowledge. You memorised Quran by his help (because u were competitive) and he had the extraordinary patience of a saint. You two would often participate in competitions at the local mosque just to get the cash prize and help your parents a bit (they never took ur guys money, encouraging u to either save it or spend it on something). Since both of your parents worked long hours, you two were left unsupervised for a long time and that only meant genius yet chaotic shenanigans, including prank calls to the pentagon hq.

Qasim grew up to get a lot of full ride scholarships from top colleges, and once he did his masters (a STEM major), he decided to start his own travel agency, surprising everyone because it seemed like something he wouldnt do? Everyone expected him to go into sciences, but he said he liked to travel and see the world, and Qasim told you that he enjoys running his own business, being your own business.

You supposed it made sense because he was a polyglot and he did enjoy learning new things and seeing new places, their history, etc. Due to his job, he would be gone for long months at a time, but he never returned empty handed. His arms full of souvenirs and sweets and BOOKS! Its not that he bought them for u, no. He bought those books for himself, but once he read them- he's already memorised it and he doesnt have anymore space in his home for more books, so he's always dropping them by your place (as kids, u made him memorise the phonebook before hiding the entire neighbourhoods phone books and had people pay to use your brother's memory for contacts, which was a good business until your father busted it down).

Qasim is the softest, kindest, most generous person. Even though he has a busy schedule due to work, he always made time for you. Whenever he came by, especially during your finals season, not only did he help you study, but he would also stock up your fridge and made sure to do some maintenance around your house. Fridge not working? Qasim has the tools, and if you werent so tied up with studying, you wouldve freaked out over him disassembling your fridge like lego. Sink clogged? No need for the plumber, Qasim knows the right potion of chemicals to unclog it. He's always been the one to prefer to do things himself, by his hand rather than relying on help.

what do u guys think???

[chipified]

Avatar hcs

Spoilers for the reckoning of Roku, the kyoshi novels and the yangchen novels. Note I still need to finish Rokus and kyoshi's books

Korra

• Korra has broken her fingers many, many times

• Her eyes are so bright and eye-catching. People stare at them a lot.

• She could pull so easily. She's great at flirting (usually) But she doesn't because she's loyal to asami

• Sure she was showing growth when she spared kuvira but she does NOT like her. Kuvira pisses her off

• Luckily she's able to make up for her lack of experience in the real world with how social she is but she is clueless about slang and she never understands references

• Jokes fly right over her head

• All of the krew has such a shitty sense of humour they laugh at the dumbest things

• Goes through like 12 hairstyle phases. She loves mixing it up

• Stubborn as hell she stood by the spirit portal decision for he entire life and death

• A really talented bender. In her spare time she attempts to recreate the feats of her past lives

• Bias towards kuruk. She thinks he looked very cool and admired his skills

Aang

• Being vegetarian spared him from the knowledge that he is allergic to shellfish

• Sokka and toph teased him about his first flirting attempts on katara until the day he died

• His death was really unexpected. He was mostly fine leading up to it. Noone could really figure out what killed him at first, it was ultimately just him overworking himself too much

• Not a fan of the spirit world. He avoids it where he can

• Koh the face stealer scared him senseless actually no matter what he says

• He was always really busy with his duties but he did try to spend as much time with his children as he could

• Was super doting on katara while she was pregnant

• Tried a long bearded look for a while. It looked awful and toph clowned on him so hard. So did his kids

• Admired Yangchen and Roku so much. Kyoshi freaked him out as a kid

Roku

• Those first few months of travelling with the air nomads sucked ass. He was constantly covered in mud, his hair was knotted and he STANK oh my god he missed home so bad

• Actually pretty clumsy. Even when he was old he would trip over his own feet all the time. Dislocated his hip once

• A pushover. Sozin would take his snacks and drag him places as small children and he'd just take it

• Sozin had no faith in his avatarhood

• Politics were a nightmare for him in his late teens and twenties because of how awkward he was. He grew into his own though and ended up decently good at negotiating.

• Has freckles, but they only show up at the height of summer

• He doesn't tan he goes red

• Low self esteem, he thinks everything he does is embarrassing

• Collected seashells. Both because he wanted to try and get reacquainted with the ocean and because he thought they were pretty

• Shortly after Yasu died, he was so petrified of water he could barely bathe. He was very traumatised for a long while

• His own safety wasn't much of a priority. Guilt consumed him, so he didn't care what happened to him, as long as the people he was close to were safe

Kyoshi

• Thank god for airbending because she is intensely affected by the cold

• Her Hands are always slightly shaky, so applying her makeup can be so annoying sometimes

• Politics bored her to death

• Queen of “this could've been an email”

Uses her height to her advantage as much as she can. It's just easier and leads to less violence

• Very kind to young children

• She doesn't mean to be harsh or rude, she's just very blunt and has a flat tone

• She got very sick very easily as a kid. If kelsang hadn't found her she probably wouldn't have lived much longer

• Insecure about her appearance. Rangi spent years convincing her she wasn't ugly

• She saw a lot of her younger self in Roku. It made her uncomfortable

Kuruk

• Hopeless romantic. Loves poetry, songwriting and those partner dances. You know damn well he took ummi on as many dates as he possibly could

• Self reliant. Asking for help with anything becomes harder and harder as he grows older (“older”). Even basic stuff like asking someone to help him carry stuff

• His parents were disappointed in him. In their eyes they raised the only avatar in recent history who just didn't do his job

• They both outlived him

• He was fantastic at bending though, he could pull of some tricks that not even his teachers could

• He should've been at the club bro!! House parties would've been his shit!! He would've eaten at karaoke

• As much as he drank he still despised the taste of vodka

• Wanted to be a father. But that didn't work out

• Trust issues

Yangchen

• Her hair started going grey pretty early into her life. She was crazy stressed

• Rip yangchen you would've loved weed

• She did not celebrate the day Chaisee died because that would be disrespectful. So kavik did it for her amen

• Really enjoyed sports. Would've killed it at baseball

• She doesn't like watching the lives of the future avatars until they hit like 25 they stress her out so hard when they're young

• One of the few team avatars to stick together for life and not retire at any point. All of them worked until they were forced to stop

• Infertile

• Tries to visit her sister in the spirit fog sometimes but can't bring herself to go in again. She stops doing this eventually

• Kavik cuts her hair. He's weirdly good at it. In return she brings him trinkets she finds in all the places she visits

• Yingsu and her have spa days together

• Her sanity was hanging on by a thread during Legacy. She was so close to crashing out

• The past lives “possessing” her was an issue her whole life, exacerbated in times of stress. Neither she or her past lives could control it. It just happened when it happened

Wan

• Realistically he knew that he couldn't just fix all the world's problems in his lifetime alone, but god he did not want to die the way he did. He really wanted a peaceful death

• The armour he was wearing when he died was slowly gathered up over the years from battlefields and things he just found on the ground

• His avatar state was slightly different from his incarnations. Since it wasn't something he was born with, it caused some issues. For example, his vision was very poor when he died

• Felt really bad about the impact he had on the other avatars lives.

• Super bored all the time. He's seen everything there is to see at this point

• Wan and raava are super comfortable they know literally everything about each other

• Never had a lover. It just didn't interest him at all. The following avatar just ended up looking similarly to him (Alternatively- he had a bad breakup with a guy and that is why none of the future avatars date men/j)

• Wan and Jaya (his friend that died fighting spirits) built the treehouse they lived in together. Yao (tree-sprit guy) met them a little later. They formed their own little family after being shunned by everyone else

• Yangchens life was his favourite to watch. Aang's life was his least favourite.

• Korra was the only one he went out of his way to speak to. He hasn't been summoned for at least a few thousand years and he just prefers to let them make their own decisions

[dunmeshichilchuck]

For That One Guy on Tumblr part 6

Chilchuck x !fem !halffoot reader

The party trudged through the icy floor they'd found you on. 

At one point Laois pointed out where they'd dug you out of the ice. There were what looked like explosions, signs of battle, and a dead ice golem. Ahhh so they'd been fighting something else and your body had just happened to have been uncovered. That made sense. 

You spotted a chunk of fabric attached to...something, and shuddered. Looks like they hadn't collected everything. The experience of seeing your own flesh, disconnected and dead was surreal. Maybe you should take it along with you as a souvenir. Laois would probably be all too ready to help you pickle it. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder and jumped. Turning, you saw Chilchuck. 

"Hey, come on, you're starting to fall behind."

You hadn't even realized you'd stopped to stare at the remains of your death, but the party had indeed started to pull ahead. 

Chilchuck turned without another word and you fell in step beside him as you both caught back up to the party. 

The door to the next part of the dungeon opened into what looked like one long hallway, bending to the right off in the distance. You stepped through the threshold and immediately shucked off the blanket you'd had to borrow to use as a jacket. It felt wonderfully warm in here. 

As the party continued walking you noticed that they had been working together long enough to automatically sort themselves into an order that made sense for combat. Laois was up front with Senshi, the two most durable heavy hitters. Then Marcille, presumably for quick backup and/or healing. Then Chilchuck, who would need to be out of the way of any fighting, and would be best equipped to hear anything sneaking up from behind. Izutzumi drifted around wherever, up in front, back behind, racing ahead and then flopping down and digging a stone out of her shoe. You weren't sure what her role in the party was yet, but she seemed extremely agile and confident, so you'd guess she could hit a lot harder than her skinny frame and lack of obvious weaponry would suggest. They really were all very well coordinated and used to working with each other. 

You kept in line with Chilchuck. Both because of all the tactical stuff you'd just run through, and because it was nice to get to chat with another halffoot again. It'd been a year since you'd seen another halffoot when you went into the dungeon, and then another six months or so in the dungeon.

Up ahead Laois and Senshi appeared to be in excited conversation about cooking the remnants of the barometz. From the sounds of it Senshi was looking forward to taking advantage of the tender meat to make delicious stir fry, and Laois was theorizing about the best way to use the plant as bait for larger monsters.

You glanced at Chilchuck. "Laois and Senshi seem to be having fun."  

He chuckled. "Yeah they do that. They're both kinda freaks about monsters, Laois MUCH more so. That guy..." He shook his head ruefully. "I mean don't get me wrong, he's a good fighter, and the monster knowledge helps him fight and survive, and he's even picked up some healing magic so he's a good guy to have on your side, but he just does not understand social or cultural norms or how to deal with people. Plus he's just kinda a freak about it."

You nodded. Up ahead, Laois and Senshi dropped their voices a bit and started discussing meals that would be suitable for you to eat until you recovered from revival sickness. 

You grimaced. "Ah, have they not..."

"Realized we can hear them even if they think they're too far away? No they haven't, they still think of me as a tallman child after all, I doubt they clock that we can do stuff they can't." He snorted and said. "I bet they think of you as a toddler. After all they already think I'm a kid and you're so much shorter than me."

"Wha- hey!" You spluttered. "I'm not the one that's short, you're ridiculously tall! Being around the tall races has warped your idea of whats normal for sure."

Chilchuck grinned. "Regardless of what's normal for us they're still gonna ruffle your hair first chance they get. Mark my words." 

You'd interacted with enough of the other races to know he was probably right. You'd been able to work people underestimating you to your favor sometimes but that didn't mean it wasn't annoying. 

Up ahead there was a strangled yelp, like a cat being sat on. Marcille gasped. "Izutzumi!" And started sprinting ahead to where the corridor took a sharp right turn. 

Laois and Senshi followed suit. You and Chilchuck followed but quietly dropped back to keep some distance.

You came skidding around the corner to see a very mangled walking mushroom and Izutzumi standing over it looking cranky. 

"Izutzumi!" Marcille gasped out. "are you okay?? What happened??"

"I can't stand these things." Izutzumi growled. She turned to Senshi, who was already inspecting the mushroom. "You better not be thinking about putting that into my food! I will NOT be eating-"

You heard a faint series of "chunk" sounds, like a series of very large stones softly falling into place. You whipped your head around, looking for the source. Chilchuck also started glancing around, but no one else reacted. It must have been out of their hearing range. 

it didn't take long to find the source. A solid wall had risen up in the corridor you'd just come down, and doors and turns had opened up in the corridor you'd just entered. 

Chilchuck turned to Senshi and Izutzumi. "Stop squabbling about that! We've got bigger problems." 

Tag list, ask to tag:

@night-shadowblood-writes2

@thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry

@dunmeshimeshi

@leguink 

@gh0st-spider

@reh-llik

@sy1v30n

@qardasngan

@mshope16

@toshi-tori

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

No Penelope hater will ever convince me that lying about being a petty gossip writer who writes things people don't like is even anywhere remotely near a quarter of a quarter (of a quarter of a quarter, and I mean it) of the EVIL trying to commit paternity fraud is.

I can't count how many times I have read Marina defenders and Penelope haters saying shit like: "Fans of Penelope love criticizing Marina for lying to Colin, but Penelope also lied to him about Lady Whistledown haha gotcha I am so smart."

You people truly don't understand, perhaps because most of tumblr is women so you would never ever be in that position, but that shit HURTS fathers and children.

Imagine having your baby switched at birth and later discovering it, and finding out that the child you raised and love isn't yours, but that is not even counting the "betrayal by someone you thought loved you and had your happiness and best interests at heart" aspect. Imagine BEING that child, and loosing your father figure if your father happens to react badly to the trauma of that betrayal, by shutting off or growing distant.

It is foul, it is a despicable violation of trust. It IS taking advantage of someone and it is NOT the same as being a mean gossip idgaf what you think.

"But it was other times, women in society, she had little choice and blah blah." Context has never stopped fandoms from bashing characters IF they TRULY consider their actions despicable. Daphne's lack of modern sex ed knowledge and the power imbalance between her and Simon hasn't stopped the fandom from hating her for what she did to him, rightfully so.

And Marina did have choices, granted none nearly as selfishly appealing as taking advantage of someone else not at fault for your situation to make the best for yourself, granted perhaps I would have been as foul, cynical, cowardly, and lacking of empathy as her if pushed hard enough by the circumstances, but she did have choices, and just because I see myself taking the easy road doesn't mean that path is any less evil. Bad things you see yourself doing are still bad folks, evil is no less evil because it is relatable.

The only reason Marina isn't hated as much is that the fandom simply doesn't think paternal fraud is that much of a big deal and that many see themselves doing the same thing, to which I can only say... don't your freaking assholes lmao.

Btw genuine question, in case I am wrong and the fandom DOES bash Marina, where are they? Where the hell are those Marina haters people keep complaining about? Where is the bashing I keep hearing about? Whenever I search for stuff analysing that time Penelope saved Colin's ass (Which is what she did and is rarely framed s such, bite me), all I see is people excusing and shamelessly trivializing Marina's actions by comparing them to being a freaking gossip writer of all things. Where are her haters? Where are my people so I can follow them?!

[heliads]

Can I request a Loki x fem reader where the reader is a super kind empath Avenger and comforts Loki, who also has been recruited as an Avenger (very reluctantly) but is still a bit ostracized from everyone else on the team. The reader is able to see how poorly Loki was treated in the past and promises to be there for him. They both end up falling in love but are too afraid to tell each other (the reader is able to feel this weird warm and fuzzy emotion Loki directs at her and she can’t pin point what emotion it is). They end up confessing when Loki sees an avenger member take advantage of the readers sweetness so he steps into comfort her. He confesses and they kiss 😚

Also have an amazing day and take your time with requests!!!

hope you have an amazing day too!

masterlist

If you squint ever so slightly, peer out from the reach of your favorite chair just enough to see into the surrounding hallway, you can almost make out the silhouette of Tony Stark pacing back and forth outside his office door. 

As resident empath of the Avengers team, you’re in charge of reconnaissance, general battle backup, and checking in on everyone to make sure they’re still intact. You’ve also gone ahead and assumed that to mean that you can use your abilities to read the hearts of your teammates. Hey, it’s what they hired you to do, right? It’s not like you’re scanning their minds, now that would be invasive. All you’re doing is sensing how they’re feeling. Anyone could do that with a bit of good knowledge on body language.

You shift slightly, and there– you can just make out a cloud of colors circling Tony’s figure. That’s how emotions have always appeared to you ever since you were a kid. When people are having a perfectly normal day and not too much has happened, you’ll only be able to pick up on a tendril or two of colored smoke around their frame, a few hints at happy or sad but nothing too special. 

Conversely, when something crazy is going on, it’s like they’re walking out of a bank of mist, Mr. Darcy at the end of Pride and Prejudice (2005)-style. For instance, at this very moment you can’t even tell what shade of shirt Tony is wearing through the dense emotion rattling around him.

This is obviously a sign that something is going on. Usually, Tony’s pretty laid back, or at least he pretends to be. Cool blue is his trademark. Sometimes, closer to missions or just after them, you’ll see bright lime or sickly yellow lancing through them, panic and stress from too much pressure on his shoulders. You can sense his anxiety attacks before they start. Tony has no idea how many times you’ve used your gifts to divert those things, and if you have it your way, he’ll never figure it out.

Tony’s not panicking right now, though, or not in the way that you’re used to. Instead of purple or blue, all you can see around him is red, blazing red. Tony’s not usually a red kind of guy. Red means anger, outrage, and by the looks of him now, something has happened to cook up a regular bonfire of irritation.

As you watch, though, more colors join the fray. You can spot uneasy yellows and greens, an undercurrent of fear. What could possibly be going on to make Tony so unhappy? The situation is complicated, to be sure, but that’s nothing new around the Avengers. Take it from a S.H.I.E.L.D.- registered empath:  no one ever feels just one thing at one time. There’s always a dozen different emotions swirling in between your heart and head. And right now, Tony’s got quite a few to chew on.

Unable to contain your curiosity, you get up from your seat and pad over to him. Tony almost flinches when he turns and sees you, but he rubs a tired hand over one eye and greets you like normal.

You arch a brow at this attempt at pretending everything is fine. After all this time, Tony should know that you’re not one to get fooled by a pretty lie like that. “What’s going on? You’re totally freaking out.”

“So glad to see you, Y/N,” Tony complains, “I look great? Thanks for telling me. You’re always so quick with the compliments.”

You give him a look. “I know how you’re feeling. What’s up with you?”

“It’s not me you should be questioning,” he sighs, “it’s the newcomer to our team.”

You frown. “I didn’t think we were getting someone new.”

“We weren’t supposed to, but Fury added another guy last minute. Apparently it was either that or have him rot down in a cell for all eternity, and we don’t want to risk pissing off his brother,” Tony clarifies.

“Who’s his brother?” You ask, curious.

“Thor,” Tony says, and then you understand at last.

“Loki is joining the team?” You can’t believe it. Loki attacked New York all of six months ago. Sure, Fury has always been one to maximize opportunity, but you can’t believe he’d let Loki into the ranks of the Avengers so quickly.

“That’s what I said,” Tony harrumphed, “but apparently it’s already done. He’ll be coming up later today to meet us all. You know, without trying to kill us this time.”

You chuckle under your breath. “I can’t wait to see how that goes. How long do you think we have until Steve breaks out a patriotic speech on our or his behalf?”

Tony snorts. “It’ll happen any minute now. Look, here Steve comes up the stairs now. It’s like he marches everywhere he goes. Unreal.”

True to Tony’s suspicions, Steve, upon learning of Loki’s arrival, does indeed treat all of you to a talk about looking past first impressions. If the red flickering around his eyes and fists says anything, though, it’s that he’s just as pleased about the whole affair as Tony.

You, for one, aren’t sure what to make of the whole thing. Something must have happened to make Fury trust Loki, and until you learn otherwise, that’s as good an endorsement as you’ll get around here. Before long, Thor is marching into the Avengers complex with a stranger in tow, and all of a sudden, you have eyes on your new teammate.

It’s strange, your first impression of Loki. Second, technically, but you’re not counting the Battle of New York. That was different, you were trying to kill each other. Now you’re supposed to count on him to save your life.

Tony shoots a quick glance your way, cocking one brow as if to ask, getting anything? The honest answer is no, not yet. Asgardians are always hard to read, you figured that out when you first met Thor. Everything about them is different, even down to how they feel certain emotions. Loki is no exception. At first, you think he feels nothing at all. Then, you realize he’s just very good at hiding it. His back is perfectly straight, spine stiff and unfeeling.

That is, until you look a little deeper and you start to see the threads of colors playing around his clothes, his hands, his blank stare. They’re green in color, green and gold like the stitching on his apparel. They’re not happy emotions, these, they’re–

They’re fear. Loki is afraid. Not that anyone here will kill him, not that sort of fear. He is certain that all of you will reject him, that this great god will have to watch humans laugh at him and just deal with it anyway.

You can understand feeling like that. When you were first recruited to the Avengers, you almost thought it was a joke. Surely an empath wouldn’t be useful in the heat of the battle. They had to convince you of that later, once you could start changing people’s emotions instead of just reading them. Still, you know what it’s like to doubt yourself, even when you’re sure that you are worth more than anyone can imagine.

So, you step forward first, and greet him with a smile. “I’m Y/N,” you say, “it’s good to see you.”

Loki arches a brow, and you don’t have to read minds to know that he’s thinking is it? as strongly as he can. This confusion only grows when you hold out a hand to him. For a moment, you think he’s going to reject you, but your smile stays insistent. He doesn’t have to like you at all, but goddamnit, you’re going to like him. He can deal with that on his own terms.

He must be able to pick up on this sort of stubbornness, and for some reason this is what wins him over at last. Loki extends his hand to shake yours, and just like that, the ice is broken. It’s as if a collectively held breath is released across the room.

That isn’t to say that the rest of the Avengers take to him so readily, nor that Loki is as willing to accept them as you. He tends to stick to himself, avoiding crowds unless he can’t avoid it. He begrudgingly tells you it’s because being around that many people either reminds him of Asgard or the battle or both.

He tells you a lot, actually. It doesn’t all happen at first. He may have shaken your hand, but he seems dead set on despising you. However, you’d made up your mind to win him over at that point, and you weren’t going to rest until you met your goal. It took a lot of slow, deliberate effort, but before long the conversations weren’t so one-sided and you swore he actually smiled when you entered the room.

Also, he stopped hiding his emotions as much. The first time you saw a hesitant wave of goldenrod brush across his shoulders, you thought you were hallucinating. It was there the next time you saw him, though, and the next, and the next, deepening to sunset orange and staying there. Happiness. He liked being near you.

Once trust was built, real friendship could follow suit. Turns out Loki was just as reluctant to join the Avengers as your lot was to welcome him in, but when Director Fury makes a decision, pretty much everyone has to follow suit. Thor had warned him against causing more trouble, so Loki was here to stay. He used to think that was a bad thing, but judging by the way his tone has softened as of late, he might not be so sure of that anymore.

Loki starts to tell you more, once he stops thinking of you as an outsider. He tells you about Thanos, about how he had twisted Loki’s mind so that he could only attack the city. You had suspected something was wrong with Loki during the Battle of New York– his eyes glowed a strange color, the emotions flickering around his chest were almost alien, so unusual even for a god– but hearing it is the confirmation you needed to be sure. Loki had not attacked you in his own mind. He had not tried to kill you, that was someone else forcing his hand.

That last part was especially crucial. The night he finally told you about Thanos’ control, Loki had not been able to leave until he was certain that you understood that it had not been him leading the attack on the Avengers and your home. At last, you convince him that it is alright, and only then can he rest easy.

The rest of the Avengers aren’t able to share in this peace, however. They don’t want to give Loki a chance, which, seeing as they’re not able to actually see his emotions, you can sort of understand, but at this point it’s growing tiresome. It’s been months now since Loki joined the team, and he has not lied to or betrayed or attempted to murder anyone. You want to yell at them to grow up, but you don’t feel like picking someone else’s fights.

Instead, you’d rather spend your time pondering another puzzle. Loki’s moods have shifted again towards you, but this time you cannot understand them at all. Something’s changed about the way he looks at you, how he speaks, and you have no clue what any of it means.

When you have trouble, though, there’s only one surefire solution:  you need to talk to Natasha Romanoff. Nat’s been your best friend since you joined the Avengers, actually. She gets you. You get her. It’s a good time all around.

So, Natasha doesn’t look too surprised when you all but throw yourself into one of the chairs in her favorite space in the complex one sunny morning. The only question on her mind isn’t to ask what’s up with you but what Loki’s done now.

You grimace. “I don’t know, that’s the worst part. He’s acting weirdly.”

“Isn’t that normal for Loki?” Nat questions. “I mean, he is a disgruntled younger brother/frost giant/Norse god. I feel like weird for him is kind of expected.”

“No,” you argue, “This is different. Something’s changed.”

Natasha furrows her brow. “And you haven’t been able to pick up on anything?”

“Well,” you hesitate, “maybe there’s something. I have no idea what it is, though. It’s happy, I think, but it’s sad at times, too, and flickery, like even he can’t explain it. I don’t know how to describe it in the slightest.”

She nods decisively. “It’s love.”

You blink in surprise. “What? No, I just said I had no idea what this is. There’s no way you would be able to guess it so quickly.”

Nat shrugs. “Actually, your vague description was exactly why I know what this is. Only love makes no sense like that. Love makes you happy, but it breaks your heart, right? It confuses the hell out of you because that’s what it’s supposed to do. There’s nothing else that could make anyone feel like a mess of emotion but love.”

You sigh. “That still leaves the fact that it’s Loki, though. You actually think he’s in love with me? I’m a human. I mean, inhuman, technically, but same difference to him. Why would a literal Asgardian god ever look at me like that?”

Natasha’s gaze is knowing, but you can’t quite meet her eyes. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t. You won him over faster than anyone was expecting. I think the biggest question isn’t what he’s feeling, but what you are.”

You brush her concern aside. “Well, of course I know how I feel. I’ve had this much time figuring out how other people’s emotions work, it’s like a user manual for what certain things feel like in your own head. I just can’t believe that he truly feels the same. Maybe he’s trying to trick me by pretending to feel a certain way, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Nat scoffs. “I thought you were the president of the ‘Stop Loki Hate’ fan club. What’s gotten you doubting him again?”

You shoot her a look. “I’m not doubting him, just myself. Also, there’s no such fan club. Fury banned us from attending Avengers-based clubs, remember?”

She nods mournfully. “All it took was one bad experience. Look, all of us showing up to the ‘Personally Victimized by Nick Fury’ meeting was funny. He was just being a bad sport.”

You smile fondly. “I remember. I’ve never seen that much red in my life. He was totally outraged.”

“Oh, I know. You didn’t need empathy powers to tell that much. At least we abstained from putting on the fake eye patches.” Nat muses.

You bite back a laugh. “Yeah, that might have been overkill. Anyway, back to the point. Are we sure about this?”

“We’re sure,” Natasha assures you, “I’m sure you’ll get in your own head about it later, though.”

“You can count on it,” you grin, and say your goodbyes.

Natasha is right as usual, as it turns out. Both about your feelings and the fact that you would second guess yourself. You were going to say something to Loki, but you talked yourself out of it later that night. It just feels wrong, that’s all. There’s no way a literal prince of the gods would fall in love when you’re just, well, you.

You do your best to push it out of your head, Nat’s knowing glances be damned. Life is too busy to contemplate men who won’t speak their minds. It feels like a new crisis hits New York every week. Speaking of which, you’ve actually got complaints about that. Namely, the fact that you haven’t been on a mission in quite some time despite your status as an Avenger.

You get frustrated once a couple of months have gone by without you seeing a fight. You pull Steve aside when you hear about something going wrong again. “I saw Fury’s memo about needing an extraction team for a situation over in Spain. Can I sign up?”

Steve shakes his head. “Thanks for the offer, Y/N, but we’ve already got enough guys on that team.”

You frown at him. “You can never have too many guys on an extraction team. It’s, like, Avengers lore that stuff always goes wrong on those. I can at least tag along as backup just in case. I’ll grab my gear and be off in like five minutes.”

Steve doesn’t seem willing to back down, though. “Look, I’m glad you’re passionate about the team, but we’re good, honestly. If you’re getting bored, just join the next mission, I’m sure one will come up sooner than later.”

You sigh. “That’s what everyone said last mission, and the one before that, too. I haven’t been out of the complex on official business in three months. I’m an Avenger, Steve, let me act like one.”

Steve puts his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to look him in the eyes. “Y/N, I meant what I said about being glad you want to help, but this is serious. I’m a supersoldier, that’s why I’m out there all the time. Nat’s been trained for this sort of stuff since she was a kid. It makes sense to send us, right? You know we value your gifts, but we can’t risk hurting you.”

Your stomach twists. “You mean, I’m really best when I’m looking at people’s heads, not actually in a fight.”

Steve doesn’t seem to realize he’s upset you, and he nods emphatically. “Exactly! You’ve got a great skill set, just not for right now. I bet we’ll find something soon, though.”

You flash him a thumbs up, already walking back down the hallway so he can’t see the way your face twists. “Can’t wait.”

You let your composure drop the second you’re around the corner. Is this really how they feel? You were useful in the Battle of New York, you know that, and the other agents say you’ve been improving with your abilities by leaps and bounds. You’re handy with a gun or knife, too, so you know you could survive a fight and be of use. You’ve done it before, why are they so keen on stopping you now?

It makes you feel, well, useless. It’s hard to stop the tears from pricking at the corners of your eyes, and you quickly change course to head for your private quarters. You don’t want anyone to see you like this.

Of all the fantastic timing, though, the one person you want to run into least of all right now steps into the hallway just as you think that. Loki nods at you as usual, but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head dismissively, trying to physically will yourself to look normal. “Nothing! I’m great. Everything’s good.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, though, and reaches out a careful hand towards you. “Are you sure? It doesn’t seem like everything is good.”

You let out a watery laugh, and that does it. “No, actually, things are terrible. Everyone on the team sees me as a joke.”

Loki frowns, clearly taken aback. “Well, that’s not true at all. I don’t see you as a joke in the slightest.”

“Everyone else, then,” you amend with a messy wave of your hand, “I’ve been trying to convince them to let me on a mission for months and they won’t do it. I know my gifts are damn near useless, but I just want to help.”

“That’s not true,” Loki repeats, “They’re a lot of good, actually, and you know that. You’re the best interrogator they have, even compared to Romanoff. You see through everyone’s lies in a heartbeat, even mine, and I’ve had plenty more time to practice them than most. You can sense a trap or ambush in half a second. They’re fools for not wanting you out there with them.”

You smile weakly at him. “You don’t have to say all of that. Thanks, though.”

“Of course I do,” Loki says blankly, “it’s true, and I need to.”

“Why?” You ask curiously.

Loki swallows hard, looks away, and then you see it again– that faint mist of pink, right over his heart. It’s just like Nat said, isn’t it? Just like that.

He forces his gaze back to you, and you’re shocked by the certainty in his eyes after all this time of ducking around your feelings. “It’s true because I love you, and I would not be able to stand it if you let the rest of them talk you into thinking otherwise. They’re toy soldiers, the lot of them, all the same. They couldn’t see real worth if it was standing right in front of them.”

You smile, and for once it’s not cracked or teary or anything, it’s real, as real as the pink ribbons tying the two of you together. “I love you too,” you say.

“Of course you do,” he replies, but he’s smiling too, and you think– no, you know– that everything is going to be alright.

marvel tag list: @mayfieldss, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43, @deafsuperhero, @fadedver

[kiddbegins]

Secrets Kept - Matt Casey [Pt. 1]

Requested: kind of. The request I got gave me the idea, but I decided to split it up into a mini-series on my own

Word count: 3,759

Warnings: nothing really tbh

A/n: that little comment she makes is a canon event for me... didn't break my wrist though

Masterlist

Working at 51 was a blessing. Truly. Moving to Chicago from the east coast and so having a group of people practically invite you in with happy, open arms was exactly what you needed. 

You were content with your crew, the boys shockingly open for having you be one of their first female firefighters, even the older men of the group were welcoming. Something you were sure was by some grace of god. 

Regardless, your first year has been going great, and the closer you got to the one year mark the more you wanted to tell your lieutenant of your plans to apply to squad. Sure you could have put in an application months ago, got a head start on things, but you wanted the regular truck experience under your belt.

Get to know the way the Chicago fire department worked, get to know the people in the house in case you were detailed to somewhere that wasn’t 51. Which would suck. Not only because you liked the crew, 81 specifically but Severide was someone you wouldn’t mind working under.

“What are you thinking about?” A voice pulled you out of your thoughts and back to reality which was that you were staring in front of you at the mug that was still sitting completely filled. 

You lifted your head, shrugging faintly as Stella took the spot across from you, “Uh, nothing, honestly. Kind of just zoned out.” In an attempt to cover the fact you were lying, you chuckled, “Not my best habit.”

Stella nodded, crossing her arms. “Yeah I have noticed that about you. Except that was usually when you were looking at someone,” A smile on her face as she not so subtly gestured towards the lieutenant at the opposite end of the table.

There was no real way to hide the way your cheeks tinged pink, a light scoff leaving your mouth. “I… I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” You tried to divert your attention to the mug in front of you but Stella’s smile tightened.

“Oh, you so do.” She laughed quietly, leaning closer to you, elbows to the table. “You got the hots for-”

“Shush, don’t you dare say a thing. If I’m admitting this to you, you’re being bound to secrecy.” Your finger pointing at her made her zip her lips with an imaginary key, tossing it over her shoulder. “Thank you. New conversation topic now?”

Stella nodded, starting to go off about how she was gonna try and get a job at Molly’s, put use the mixology knowledge she had tucked into her pocket to use. Except Herrmann was apparently not entirely sure that was a good idea.

You rolled your eyes slightly, “You’d be great, you’ve made me a cocktail before and it was freaking delicious.” 

“Right?! Thank you.”

“Not to change the topic again but can I run something by you?” You took advantage of the pause in conversation, Stella gesturing forward, urging you to continue. “Do you think I’d be a good fit for squad?” The question made the other girl raise.

Her lips tugged down as she nodded, “I don’t see why not? I mean everyone is if they get the right training? Why? You thinking about leaving us?” Stella was usually supportive and that was pretty soothing.

When you first joined 51, she made sure you felt welcomed, and maybe that was why you got the open arms as you got used to those around you. “Leaving us?” Casey looked up from the magazine in his hands, Stella’s voice coming out louder than she meant to.

You turned to him quickly, shaking your head, “No, no, not leaving.” You attempted to clarify with a waving of your hands.“I just uh, I was kind of thinking about trying out for squad is all. And I wasn’t going to say,” A pointed glare at Stella, “ anything until I knew if I was going to go through with it or not.”

Matt put the magazine down, leaning forward onto the end of the table. “You wanna join squad?” His eyebrow cocked up, something being said in between the words that you couldn’t put your finger on. Not disapproval but also not support. 

Some sort of middle ground. “Uh, yeah? Is that an issue?” Your voice came out just a bit snippier than it was meant to, reading too much into the way he seemed to not think she could do it? To not want her to do it? “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

Mentally you slammed your head to the table, Casey shaking his head slightly, “No, it’s okay, you just uh, never seemed like you had an interest in it before. That’s all.” He replied, eyes lingering on you before glancing at Stella who had sat back, watching the two of you talk.

She was perfectly content in staying out of the conversation, letting you and Casey continue at it. “I’ve been thinking about it for a couple months. It’s no biggie. Sorry if I should have told you sooner.”

He waved off the apology, it wasn’t like you owed him the knowledge of your interest in the switch. And you knew that as your lieutenant and friend that he’d support you whether you gave him a big heads up or not. 

“No worries, keep me updated?”

“Uh, sure…” You glanced slightly at Stella before standing, making a beeline for… well anywhere but where you were. It didn’t have to be so awkward around Matt, hell it felt wrong to feel so awkward around him.

But he was just so open about welcoming you in with open arms and the fact that he consistently checked in at the end of shifts made you feel all… warm inside. And sure, he was just doing his job, being a lieutenant and/or being a friend, but you couldn’t help the fact it made you want to grab him by the face and kiss him.

Which is a totally normal thing to feel. Kinda. You collapsed into a chair out on the apparatus floor, forehead leaning against squad’s table, each of the other guys just looking at you in confusion. The table was meant to only be for them but she’d already taken to it. 

“Well hello to you too,” Cruz laughed out, tossing his hand of cards onto said table in annoyance, “alright I’m out,” they were playing some card game you didn’t know, just listening to them bicker back and forth.

Mainly Kelly telling Capp that his hand was crap and that he wasn’t bluffing (he was), but mixed with him arguing the same thing back. You sighed as the game came to an end, Kelly winning just like you assumed he would. 

“Severide, could I ask you something?” You asked as the others went inside, the food for lunch being done and them apparently starving from what Tony had said. 

Kelly nodded, “Shoot.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to ask, didn’t want you to think I was looking for an in or something but if I was gonna try for squad, do you have any specific classes and stuff you recommend?” 

He went off into an entire list of classes, your eyebrows lifting as you sighed, “God. Alright, uh, could you… write those down? At least the last few, I got the diving and the hazmat but other than that.” 

Kelly chuckled before pulling the notebook on the table closer to him and jotting most of them down. “Here, if you need to, I give you full clearance to name drop me to the higher ups.”

“That offer is greatly appreciated Kelly, thank you.”

-

Later that night, as always, the firehouse met up at Molly’s. Drinking, chatting, snacking on the small bowls of peanuts that Herrmann put out. Everything. 

You were currently sitting at the bar, Otis on the other side rambling on about how he would like to start offering at least some sort of food that wasn’t the nuts but Herrmann was apparently fully against it. 

As he was with most things. “I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to. It would help the bar immensely, don't you think?” 

Stella, who was sitting next to you nodded, but you didn’t answer. Too busy gazing off to the one man in the entire building that you couldn’t have. “Earth to y/n.” She muttered on behalf of Otis, sighing as she followed your line of sight. “Jeez, alright, look at me.” 

Stella snapped her fingers in front of your face. “What, what?” You flinched, turning to her with a slight glare in your eye. 

“What? Dude,” She lowered her voice and turned to be away from the man who got pulled away seconds later, “you were staring at Casey. Again. Look, either you suck it up and ask him out, or you throw your crush off the roof of a burning building into the chicago river. Because you can’t pine forever.”

She leaned away as Sylvie came over, sitting directly next to you. “Hey, what are we talking about? I don’t know how much longer I could listen to Casey talk about construction jobs.”

“I would.” You commented before sighing and shaking your head, forcefully pulling your eyes away from the blonde Lieutenant. “And uh, just firefighting stuff. I’m starting to train for squad.”

Sylvie nodded faintly, “Hm, right, I’ll just listen in then,” she chuckled, ordering some fruity drink right after. The conversation ended up mainly being about movies you’d all seen, and making plans to see a new one together soon. 

After a while you sighed, “I think I’m done, gonna head home.” Stella frowned before nodding. 

“Alright, be careful getting there.” She spoke, knowing you had a few drinks and were a decent lightweight. 

You nodded before standing, putting your jacket on and heading towards the door. “Oh hey, you leaving too?” The familiar voice of Matt Casey caught your ear as you grabbed the door handle. 

Softly you nodded, pulling it open and letting him out first. It wasn’t awkward per say but there was an unexplainable silence as you both walked to your respective cars, his truck parked right in front of yours.

“You shouldn’t be driving.”

“Neither should you.”

Matt looked over at you, eyes lingering just too long that you felt yourself go warm. He nodded faintly, “Fair enough. How about I walk you home then?” He offered genuinely, always happy to make sure someone got home safe.

Even more happy to walk and talk with you the entire way there. Not that you lived far but it was far enough that you’d be walking for a decent amount of time. “It’s a bit of a walk.” You muttered, hands deep in your pockets.

“I don’t mind.”

It was so hard to ignore the way those three words made your heart skip a beat. Like he knew how you felt and all that. You nodded just slightly, not trusting your voice to be steady as you started in the direction of your apartment.

In actuality it would have made more sense to uber. Get there quicker, no awkward conversation with the man you wanted to kiss regardless of all those regulations. But how could you have said no and wasted the way you walked together?”

“So, Sylvie said you have a construction job coming up? You only talk about those if you’re not sure how to do them.” You glanced over at him, the blonde chuckling in response. He was aware that he did that, but he didn’t know anyone else picked up on it.

Slightly he nodded, “Yeah, these people want a shed, but they want it two floors, with an actual staircase but they don’t have the space for one. It’s frustrating.” Matt chuckled, fondly glancing over at you as your eyes stayed on the ground in front of you.

You nodded, “What about a spiral? Those aren’t like, a lot of space right?”

Matt stopped, looking over at you. “That’s actually a really good idea. I don’t know how I didn’t think of that.” He laughed softly before continuing on next to you.

“My apartment has one that has definitely given me tons of space so, I figured I’d offer it up.” You shrugged faintly, smiling warmly to the man. “Glad it wasn’t a stupid idea at least.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever had a stupid idea.”

“More like you’ve never seen or heard my stupid ideas. I have plenty.” You joked as you turned the corner, taking the chance to look up at him, the same smile on your face that didn’t seem to want to go away.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, looking at you. “Maybe you should tell me some of them then.” When you looked over at him he had a soft smile on his face, as if he actually wanted to hear anything and everything you could have thought of.

You immediately blushed, the thought of sharing half of the shit you thought throughout both your life and more importantly, the shifts you had together. “Uh, mmm, maybe if I wanted to embarrass myself I would.”

It was a good reason, hopefully a satisfactory one. “Oh come on, we’ve been friends for how long now? I don’t think anything you tell me could be that bad.” Matt lightly elbowed you. It was nearly impossible to give in.

Like seriously, he looks over at you with the stupidest and shiniest blue eyes and you’re expecting to not give in but then he gives a reassuring smile and it’s like he flicked the heel of Achilles. 

“God fine, only because I can’t say no to your stupid blue eyes,” You huffed, looking down at your feet as you paused at a crosswalk. “When I was a kid, I thought it was a good idea to ride in one of those red Little Tikes cars on my mom’s friend’s porch.” 

Matt shrugged, “Couldn’t have been that bad?”

“There were no railings and I went right off the side. Broke my right wrist.” You laughed quietly, shaking your head, “Not the first time I’ve broken a bone because I thought something seemed like a good idea.”

He rolled his lips in an attempt to not laugh, failing as he chuckled in response, “Okay, maybe not your best call but hey, you managed to make it here and you’ve had better ideas now.” Matt offered, “Like that call at that house fire last shift.”

You waved off the comment, “Someone would’ve thought of that too.”

“But you thought of it first.”

You didn’t get a chance to retort, your apartment complex coming up in just a few more steps. “Well, this is me.” You breathed out, turning to Matt as you stopped at the front stoop. 

He stopped, just barely glancing over your shoulder to the apartment building before back at you. There wasn’t a bone in his body that wanted to leave you. Talking just.. Came so easily. It was probably the simplest conversation he’d had all day and between the other firefighters and the higher ups he was forced to talk to that day, he needed it.

“Oh, alright.” 

There was no way to deny the fact you didn’t want him to leave either. Maybe you should have just kept walking. Take a tour of Chicago as if you’d never been before, maybe that would be a good way to get him to spend more time with him.

Just slightly you nodded, stepping forward to hug him, arms over his shoulders. The choice you made to do that was split second, not giving any chance to second guess. Matt hugged back, only a tiny bit shocked.

He wanted to have his arms around you longer, his grip not loosening as you pulled back. Your arms stayed over his shoulders, eyes darting over his face. What was he doing? Why didn’t he let go?

His gaze was on you with the intensity of about a three alarm fire, “Casey?” You muttered just barely, unable to pull your eyes from his once they locked onto one another. It felt like there was buzzing all around as he just slightly leaned forward.

Against everything you wanted to do, you slightly pulled your head back, “Casey, we can’t.” You sighed, punching yourself mentally and repeatedly, wishing you could’ve forgotten that he was your lieutenant, your superior. That it was wrong.

“Why not?” He muttered, already knowing the answer. Matt wasn’t unknowing of the rules. “You’re trying out for squad soon right?” That was why he was acting differently. How you hadn’t realized that before was a mystery to you.

You gaped slightly, “I mean yeah, but that’s not for a while.” You wanted to give in. Truly it was like he was mentally pulling you in and you were just strong enough to not let it phase you. Sort of.

But squad was far out. Months away. Hell you hadn’t even applied yet. But for some reason, Matt didn’t seem to really care. Well, he didn’t mind, but you on the other hand, were worried. 

Matt moved a hand from around you, putting it on the side of your face, “It’s still going to happen.” He moved slightly closer, your body not moving that time. It wasn’t like he was wrong. It was going to happen.

What exactly could go wrong?

He noted the lack of rejection that time, eyes locking on yours before onto your lips, officially moving the rest of the way and pressing into a kiss. Every single neuron in your brain seemed to fire at once, your body immediately going warm.

Matt kept his hand on your cheek, your arms over his shoulders just enough to keep him to you. The way he held you made every thought, every bit of concern fly right out of your brain. As if you never even thought of it.

You leaned in more, grabbing at the front of his jacket like he’d suddenly disappear if you didn’t. He pulled back just slightly, the both of you needing to breathe. “Do you want to come upstairs?” Your voice was soft and low, Matt almost immediately nodding and muttering a yes under his breath.

In seconds you dropped your hand to grab his, pulling him upstairs and into your apartment.

-

The last thing you expected in life, well, in the last few months anyway, was to wake up to your boss looking over at you. Matt Casey being the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes made your breath catch and your heart nearly stop.

If you didn’t already think he was attractive, the way his hair was tousled from the night before along with the lazy smile that grew on his face at the first sign of your consciousness would have been enough for you to sleep with him.

Again.

Oh fuck, you slept with him. With god damn Lieutenant Casey. “Oh my god, we-”

“We did.” Matt cut you off, looking down at you, “And if you want me to leave and forget it happened I will. But if it matters at all, I would like to not do that.” He spoke soothingly.

Once again you were a snake and he was the charmer, calming you down as you sighed, “Don’t leave, but we definitely need to talk about this because honestly we shouldn’t’ve done this and if Boden finds out or worse-” Matt leaned down to kiss you, his lips probably the best form of being shut up you’d ever had done.

He hovered over you, a hand next to your head, “Breathe. It’s okay,” His hand moved to stroke through your hair. “Just, take a second.” Maybe it was you being blinded by your feelings but you felt like you had to listen, sighing softly.

“Go ahead.”

“Alright, maybe last night was a lapse of judgment, but, I have wanted to do that for at least the last two months.” Matt started, moving to sit up in the bed, you following suit, the blanket pulled up over your chest.

You could tell he wasn’t done so you simply nodded, “And finding out you wanted to try out for squad was probably the best thing I could have heard cause, working with you but not being able to do anything was suffocating me.”

Matt picked at a loose string on the blanket before he continued again. “If it means anything. I want to do this. Be with you.”

“Casey, we wouldn’t be able to at work-”

“So we don’t tell anyone. I don’t care if I have to become a hermit if it means being able to be like this again. And, I don’t just mean the sex. I mean, sitting and talking. Laying together. All of it.” His words were convincing. Almost like an angel on your shoulder.

Of course there was the devil part too. Your own thoughts being the negative side. Except, what exactly was there? Sure, no kissing or hand holding at work but would that be much different than the usual already? No.

Maybe it would be worth it. Having time like this with Matt was alluring. It was something you’d been thinking about for ages so why were you so hesitant to do it? “You’ll have to promise something then.” You spoke after a few moments.

“Anything.”

You let out a soft sigh, biting your lip, “You don’t treat me differently at work than how you always do. No, suddenly not putting me in harder situations. Or dangerous ones. I’m still a firefighter and I’m still a good one.” 

Matt nodded, “You’ll still be one of my subordinates. No special treatment. I think in turn that means I have to tell you not to do anything stupid and expect me to let it slide.” He added and you immediately nodded.

“I expected nothing less. I won’t expect anything special and you don’t do anything special.” You thought before holding out your pinky to him. Matt looked at you with amusement. “C’mon. Pinky swear. Everyone knows that if you break one of these you get bad luck or whatever.”

Matt chuckled, nodding as he latched his pinky to yours. “Alright, I promise.” After a couple moments, you sank back into the bed, looking up at him. Without needing to say anything, he leaned over and pressed a firm kiss right to your lips.

“This mean you’re my girlfriend then?”

“I believe it does.”

“Perfect.”

JOIN MATT'S TAGLIST HERE!

tags: @winchesterszvonecek, @halsteadbrasil, @wnbweasley, @firetruckstuckley @onechicagogrl @whiskeymeaway92 @neapolitantoebeans @kellykidd

[butterflyscribbles]

So I haven’t talked nearly enough about Mutant Mayhem yet but I saw it for the second time a few days ago and they have consumed all my thoughts have some random headcanons I’m dying I have to talk about them more:

⚠️(Spoiler warning for MM as well)⚠️

April

- Lives with her mom and grandfather on her mother’s side. Raised by a single mom who’s a veterinarian and her grandpa, a retired tailor and clothing retail manager, moved in after her grandma passed away a few years ago.

- Listens to way too many murder mystery podcasts and thrillers are her favorite movie genre

- Practices doodling a lot in the sides of her journal or class notes. She’s inspired by courtroom sketch artists and old biology journals.

- Swears like a sailor. Even more than Raph. Tries to censor herself around them but it only gets worse the closer they become as friends

- Becomes a sort of ambassador for the turtles and other mutants in the city. Anyone who doesn’t approve of them, goes through her…

- Favorite subject is biology, outside of working on the school newspaper of course

Leo

- Big time book worm. Has read a lot of the classics like The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, etc. which gives him an advantage heading into high school. His favorite subject is literature naturally as a result.

- Autistic, practically canon but just putting it out there

- Like April, he’s got a sensitive stomach under pressure. Nausea flares up all the time, especially at the sight or smell of blood. They bond over it. Nothing brings two people together like commiserating that your tummy hurts all the time🤝

- Hopeless romantic. Had fallen head over heels for a few other girls he spotted up top even before April came along. She was just…different. He watches a lot of sappy romance movies too they make him feel all warm and fuzzy.

- Love language is words of affirmation big time. He’s always about hyping up the people he loves and will defend them through anything.

Raph

- He’s the team medic in this iteration. He’s no professional but growing up he had so many injuries from being a scrappy lil dude that he picked up on how to take care of ‘em on his own and of course shares that knowledge with his bros and April later. He’s surprisingly gentle when he needs to be.

- He’s the most prone to nightmares/night terrors. The fact that Raph was the one to go seek comfort from Splinter in the tots scene is so important to me.

- He and Donnie are the anime enthusiasts. Hasn’t seen as many as Donnie but it’s close.

- Scratching his shell gently, especially up by the shoulder blades, is like an automatic snooze button. He passes out within minutes.

- Second biggest crybaby to Mikey. It happens when he feels any emotion too strongly whether it’s happiness, anger, sadness, etc. and he hates it. Makes him feel weak, which is why there usually is a lot of punching involved too.

Donnie

- Can’t swim and is the only one who actively dislikes getting into the water.

- He and Leo have been studying how to speak and write Japanese together for years. Don has picked up a lot from all the anime he watches.

- Is the most emotionally open version of Donnie to date. He’s always telling his family how much he loves them without restraint and is the first to ask what’s wrong if he picks up on someone acting weird or trying to hide something.

- To compliment the above hc, he’s insanely observational, like Sherlock level. They don’t know how he’s able to do it but his attention to detail and his ability to take that and create plans and get a read on people is baffling. If Donnie doesn’t get a good vibe off someone, believe him and run the other way. (Makes him really good at those spot the different puzzles too lol.)

- Loves to dance just like his previous incarnation before him:’) Bootyyyshaker9001

Mikey

- Is actually afraid of cats…growing up with Splinter, who would freak out at the sight of them, only taught him to freak out along with him. They are sharp and unpredictable.

- Other than that however he’s an animal lover. Had a few pet fish through the years that he saved after being flushed.

- Practically canon but the most physically affectionate by leagues. Constantly seeking a brother, adopted mutant family member, or an April to cling to.

- Super into musicals and is a actually a decent singer

- Can take a punch like nothing you’ve ever seen and can still be standing….but gets sick constantly his immune system is wack

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - Spread Her Wings - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

The prospects of Jinx's dating life loom like a future graveyard...

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Snippet:

"They'll be working together?"

"Separate spheres. Same goal."

"Nothing stays separate in close quarters. Especially with a teenager’s hormones in the mix.”

Silco's stare locks on hers.

"You said it yourself," Sevika says, "She singled Viktor out. Might be a coincidence. Or..."

"What?"

"Maybe the girl's got a crush."

Silco makes a soft sound expressive of disgust. "Don't be ridiculous."

"It's a theory."

"She does not have a crush. She was testing him."

"Testing him?"

"Assessing his value. As an ally." The thought occurs to him. "I suppose she's growing bored with Magnus. The dog has his uses, but he can't engage the mind."

"And Viktor can?"

"His intelligence is a match for hers. Shocking, considering their age difference." 

"That's my point." Sevika's features, upside down, hold a smileless amusement. "Viktor's not a child. He's not a dog. He's a grown man. And Jinx..."

Silco preempts the rest. "She is only seventeen."

"Only? How many seventeen-year-olds are capable of blowing up an entire city, or taking down an Enforcer cavalcade singlehandedly? Let's not forget the time she hijacked a fucking airship. Or the time she took out a roomful of Slickjaws armed with nothing but six color pencils. You've set her loose on the world. She's got the experience of a war veteran." Her jaw sets. "The baggage, too."

"Your point?"

"My point is, her tastes are different from the average girl's." The corner of her lip curls. "Older men get to be a nasty habit. They're all about control. And when you're used to being a little monster, you enjoy getting put in your place. It's a headfuck. Like playing chicken with a loaded gun. And we both know how much Jinx likes guns."

"You're saying Viktor would take advantage of her." The words are clipped; the tone, icy. "That he'd play into her trust."

"If not Viktor, then someone else. She's not a kid anymore. She'll be a woman soon. And she'll catch the eyes of every fucker out there, sooner or later." Her hand never ceases its small caresses. But her stare holds his: challenging. "She's gonna catch the eyes of a certain type in particular." 

"What type is that?" 

"You know. The hellraisers. The risk-takers. The ones living for a thrill to top all thrills." Quieter: "Like you at that age."

A vein pulses in Silco's left temple. "You are implying she'll find a lover soon."

"More than one."

"Hardly."

It comes out sharp enough to take a head off the shoulders. Yet the creeping tide of possessiveness is very real. All that dilutes it is the knowledge that Jinx has—so far—seldom expressed an interest in either boys or girls.

It isn't that she is oblivious to her own charms or their effect on others. Silco has taught her to weaponize her appearance with the same deft precision as a blade. Yet she's never shown an inclination to go prowling, either. Certainly not the way Silco used to at her age. A casualty of premature initiation, or his own base nature; his mind was always acutely attuned to the sensual.

Typically, his own child's budding sexuality is a subject best avoided. The few times it's come up has been pithy summations from his network: She gets off on booms, not bodies.

Unspoken but blatant: Freak.

Most are convinced Jinx is a rare species of deviant. Someone more gratified by mind-fuckery than the primal simplicity of teenaged hormones. If she were, Silco wouldn't be shocked. Hell, he'd encourage it. There are few more intoxicating modes of control than insinuating yourself into peoples' thoughts, playing hell with their emotions, seeping into their psyches in an act of irreversible infusion. In face of that, sex pales in comparison.

But outsiders have always tenaciously clung to the notion of Jinx as a monster.

So, Silco concedes, has he.

Jinx is still a growing girl. A girl exposed to every stripe of brutality—and yet spared the worst by virtue of his own aegis. She's never before declared it smothering; never rebelled against his rules. The issue has always been unwanted people wanting her.

Now Sevika is telling him she might want people back. Not just want them. Crave them. The same way Silco had craved Vander, or Nandi.

Until it'd all soured in a bath of blood.

"Viktor is not Jinx's type," he says. "Nor is she his."

"Yeah?"

"The boy's never touched a woman. Let alone bedded one."

"You're saying—?" Sevika's brows wing sky-high. "Huh. Explains why there's never been rumors."

"My sources are reliable. The boy lives like a monk. The closest he's come to a relationship is Talis, who is so obtuse he missed a mile-wide opportunity." He lapses into musing. Her nails lightly raking his scalp have a strangely meditative effect. "I'd wager that's part of the reason Viktor and Jinx found each other. They're both outliers. The odd ones out." He thinks of Viktor's expression at the gala, when he and Jinx bid each other goodnight: courtesy that hid a strange kinship. "He won't touch her. Not that way."

"And the next one who does?" Sevika looms in. Her dark hair sluices over her shoulders, like a pair of wings. She's letting it grow, finally, past the nape of her neck. It suits her. "The next one who sees her and wants her and goes for it?" 

"Jinx can take care of herself."

"What if she wants 'em to touch her back?"

Silco's good eye narrows. "Are you under the impression I'd forbid her?"

"I know you would." Her tone brooks no argument. It's a blunt statement. "But that's not the point. You can't treat her like a little girl forever. She's got too much curiosity. Soon, she's gonna start exploring. And it won’t stop at sex. It'll be the world, next. Once she's had a taste, she'll want it all. She's a firecracker, Silco. Always has been. The question is: are you ready?"

"Ready?"

"For her to spread her wings?"

[robinismywifee]

straight girl || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary maria sends a straight girl with a boyfriend and ellie williams, a gay girl with a girlfriend, to go on a trip together but an unexpected storm traps them in a cabin. takes place in jackson, one bed trope? 19 y/o ellie, no spoilers, 3rd person pov, ellie has a crush on oc

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), scissoring?, pet names (babe, good girl), cheating, slight masturbation??

a/n be aware that aime is an oc and dont feel insecure or anything if she looks nothing like you, youre literally beautiful trust me, also you can always find my oneshots on my wattpad, also feel free to request stories 💕

wordcount 5.8k

ellie has always felt different towards aime. ever since she was 14, right when she first layed her eyes on her, she never took them off.

how she always walked around with a hudge smile on her face, her smile was so perfect, and her uneven white teeth only made it more perfect

when they first met, she had a soft pitch voice, and had soft features, making her face look so innocent and adorable, but as the years went on, her voice got deeper and more raspy, making her more captivating and euphonic, she still had softer features, but they almost shifted in a way to make her more elegant

along with her face and voice changing over the years, ellie noticed her body changed too, she grew more curves, her stomach always layed flat but her breasts were full, and from what you could see when she wore her laced tanktops she loved, they sat perfectly too..

something about her and her sandy blonde hair was just so alluring to ellie.

ellie wouldnt say she had a crush on her, the only time they would talk was during patrol, exchanging simple words and short sentences, or if they walked by, aime would make sure to smile at her and wave, but they never failed to make ellies mind freak out—

am i talking too much? is my hair okay? shit she looks so fucking hot. how do i make her laugh without making it seem like im trying too hard? what? did she just complement me? holy shit i think im gonna pass out. how can someone look so goddamn hot while doing literally anything?

—are typical things ellies mind would be yelling.

aime was well known around jackson, well known for being pretty, nice, happy, and hardworking

her looks never failed to amaze people, practically all the teenagers of jackson has asked her out, and she was really nice, if she knew your name and if you werent rude to her or other people (who dont deserve it), she would make sure to smile at you walking by, which is why anytime she saw ellie, she would give a warm smile, she also liked complimenting people, seeing there faces brighten up from a simple comment made her face brighten up, and all her compliments were always genuine, she would never lie and say she liked a shirt on someone if she didnt, which is also why she would compliment ellie, ellie was easy to compliment, she was so beautiful and nobody talked about her enough- plus ellies reaction everytime made aimes face yank a big smile, ellie would always get blushed cheeks and flustered

aime only ever did hard and dangerous work, she did patrols a lot, keeping the bad away from her people, and she was talented on trips, if for any reason she got kicked out of jackson, she would survive. she had great agility, knowledge, it wasnt her thing but she knew how to track and hunt, she scavenged better then others, she wasnt the strongest, but she definitely knew how to win a fight, usuing her smaller size to her advantage. she was smart, and she was genuinely a happy person.

"i know aime is like, really good with trips, ive gone on them with her before, but just the two of us? i mean seriously?" ellie complained to dina, "i don't get why your angry, shes a nice girl and shes a good person to go on a trip with" dina shurgged, dina and aime were actually good friends, not close per say, but they hung out when they could, if aime didnt constantly drown herself in work she would have more time for friends and dina, but for the past two months it was either work or daniel

ellie stayed silence at dinas remark, so dina continued, "you know.. before her and daniel started dating, you liked her, always coming home from those patrols ranting to me about how she complimented you and was super hot as she killed an infected, but now that shes dating him you hate her? why?"

this caused ellie to stop packing her bag and look up to dina, "dina, her dating some random guy i dont know has nothing to do with this! i just dont want to go on a whole ass trip alone with her, its gonna be awkward!" ellie defended, but they both knew that wasnt why ellie was so mad, "the trip youve known about for 2 days? really? thats weird, considering you've been mad and annoyed at her for the past 2 months"

"its just- you and her use to go on those 'friend dates' or whatever you weirdos call it, like every month, and now that she has a boyfriend she cant make room for you? or any other of her friends? like, if you walk by her, shes with her stupid boyfriend, holding hands and giggling like, what can he say to make you laugh like that? probably some stupid joke that isnt even funny, i dont even get why she likes him, hes ugly with his ugly hair and he's completely useless, he does nothing and he probably isnt even dating her for her!" ellie ranted, throwing things into her bag for the trip

dina laughed.

ellies head shot up to her, "what? why are you laughing? you asked!" ellie said frustrated, "you're totally jealous, arent you?" dina smirked, "what? jealous? dina shut up! you know im dating cat!" ellie said, growing more and more frustrated by the minute

"okay yeah, but you have liked aime for wayyyy longer then cat" dina remarked, "i dont like aime! i just think shes hot, and literally everyone else with eyes thinks that so shut it" ellie groaned, zipping her bag and running out of her door, dina laughed some more, "wait up!" she said through her laughs

-

the sound of the horses feet clacking on the ground filled the empty forest.

"so howd you sleep?" aime asked, trying to spark a conversation. they had just left, and it was awkward between the two. ellie had been avoiding aime- for the past 2 months- changing patrol partners and running behind corners when she saw her to prevent that spark she felt in her stomach when she smiled at her

"fine" ellie mumbled, "oh, well, better then bad" aime remarked, "mhm" ellie hummed dryly, they rode their horses side by side in silence for a little, "i havent spoken to you in awhile, how's your life been?" aime asked, looking over to the girl, "the same" ellie said, looking down at the horses mane, aime looked away from ellie, down to her horses mane, trying to think of ways to get her ranting like how she use to to her

"can you tell me more about astronomy?" aime asked, thinking back to how she told her about it a few months ago, "uh.. why?" ellie said blankly, "sorry.. just thought you liked that stuff, and its fun to talk about stuff you like, you know?" aime explained, cheeks red embarrassed

aime was confused of why ellie was acting so different from usual, usually ellie would be cracking jokes and puns, telling funny stories, ranting about things she liked.. and ellie did seem to disappear for awhile, did she do something wrong? i mean, ellie wasnt even looking at her, it wasnt weird for ellie to avoid eye contact, she actually did that alot, but she wouldnt even glance in her direction.

while aime was trying to figure it out, ellies mind kept on repeating over and over and over again, aime and daniel stupid kissing and 'i love yous' right before they left.

"hey ellie" aime said, first time speaking in at least 2 hours, "hm?" ellie hummed, "did i do something wrong? because im really sorry if i did, but could you tell what it is that i did? i would never do anything wrong to hurt you on purpose, ever, in my whole life, and i sorta just spent however long we've been out trying to figure it out and i cant" aime ranted, which was sorta out of charater for aime, and aime apologizing for something that isnt her fault made ellie finally look over at her with sad eyes

it wasnt aimes fault that she felt like this, it was her own fault for letting something so small get to her, and she just wasted hours of aimes time for her to try and figure it out. thats what ellie though, and it made her feel like shit.

aime was suprised ellie was looking at her, and confused of ellies emotion displayed on her face- it looked like guilt.

"you didn't do anything aime, dont be sorry, im just tired" ellie said to her, hoping aime would believe she was just tired, but aime didnt believe that it was that, somethings going on

-

"hey, theres the cabin tommy was talking about, like a few miles up ahead, should we take a rest and eat there?" aime asked ellie, looking down at the map unfolded out infront of her while still riding the horse

"yeah, its getting dark" ellie agreed with her, looking up at the clouded sky, it was pretty sunny yesterday, this morning it was partly cloudy, and now all you could see were clouds, aime didnt think too much about it since last she checked they were bright white ones, but as she watched ellie looking up at the sky she did too, now noticing the clouds turning grey

"you think it will start raining before we get there?" aime asked, folding the map away and sliding it in her pocket, "i dunno.. im more worried about how long its gonna last, if you look more east the clouds are really dark, it might be a bad storm and we would have to wait it out" ellie explained her thoughts

"true.. but atleast we're gonna have shelter, could you imagine how bad it would be if we weren't by the cabin?" aime smiled, trying to brighten ellies mood, "yea, that would suck" ellie scoffed, aime, smiled a little bit more, happy that ellie gave more emotion instead of blankly humming as a response

"so the cabins just east?" ellie asked, looking over at aime for an answer, aime still smiling, now smiling because ellie was actually looking at her, maybe she was just tired.

"yeah, no sharp turns or anything i dont think, as long as we keep going straight it'll come into view" aime nodded, "perfect.. straight towards the storm" ellie mumbled, "it probably wont be that bad, ellie" aime tried to reason, but ellie was caught off guard by aime using her name

"y- yeah.." she stuttered

-

ellie and aime pushed the bookshelf infront of the front door of the cabin, their clothes dripping wet, the thunderstorm whistling and lighting jumping, the sound of rain dropplets slamming against the windows

"shit" ellie panted, "its way worse then i thought it'd be" she said, catching her breath, "yea.. its pretty bad" aime agreed, also out of breath, the rain had started about half a mile before they got to the cabin, and when it was in view it started pouring, then it get even worse with hard rain and loud thunder, they had to run and tie up their horsed in a shed, and run into the cabin as fast as they could to prevent getting even more wet, but here they stood, soaked

ellie looked at amie confused, "what? do i look bad with wet hair?" aime asked, pushing the hair that stuck to her face behind her ears, suddenly feeling insecure under ellies gaze

"bad? no you can never look bad, i just didnt exepct you to agree on me with that instead of trying to convince me happy things" ellie explained to the girl, aime smiled at ellies compliment, which ellie didnt even realize she gave

ellie turned her head to look around the cabin, she immediately spotted a mirror, she walked over to it, taking out her tangled bun, pushing her hair behind her ears and started messing with her bangs

aime watched her doing it, if i was a guy id have the biggest crush on her, aime though, walking over to her, standing shoulder to shoulder, ellie stopped fiddling with her hair and started fiddling with her hands looking down

"you're really pretty ellie, cats lucky to date you" aime smiled looking to her, ellies head stayed down, but aime noticed a blush creep onto ellies face

ellie felt like she could collapse at her calling her pretty and using her name, but the though of cat made guilt consume her. how can she date someone but think about anyother person way more? or how can she get crazy butterflies in her stomach when some random girl calls her pretty but doesnt really feel anything when her own girlfriend does?

ellie did like cat, she did, but ellie was starting to think she didnt really like her. she was fun to be around and she made her smile, she also liked how cat didnt care what others thought of their relationship, but everytime her and cat would go by aime, ellie would always pull away from cat, untangling her hands from her, putting them in her pocket or pretending to scrach her arm until aime was out of view.

"did you bring any extra clothes?" aimes voice snapped ellies thoughts away, "uh.." ellie looked up at her, "i dont think i have any pants since they would fit in my bag but everything else yea" ellie thought, "i think i only have a tanktop and boxer breifs" aime mumbled, taking her bag off her shoulders and turning around-

she was too focused on watching ellie she didnt even have time to look around, and ellie was too focused on making herself look presentable to look around

ellie turned around too, the cabin was really small, they already knew that from the outside but it seemed smaller on the inside

there was one big bed, queen size maybe, a small kitchen and a two person dinner table, a big carpet, and a fireplace, there was also a door by the kicthen, probably the bathroom

okay, good, theres a comfy bed for us, aime thought, before walking over to the kicthen, setting her bag on the counter before opening ir and pulling out her clothes. she didnt mind sharing a bed at all, she shared beds with whe friends all the time, even with twin sized ones, it wasnt weird

ellie stood there with widened eyes, the thought of sharing a bed with her made her feel warm, but she shook her head and walked by aime, setting her bag down next to her and looking for her clothes

while ellie was trying to find her socks, she saw in the corner of her eye, aime slipping off her jacket, which was whatever, but then she pulled off her shirt and reached for the buttons of her pants, ellies face went red, she tried to focuse herself on finding the socks in her bag, but her peripheral vision wasn't allowing it, so she mindlessly shuffled through her bag making it seem like she didnt notice

but aime knew ellie noticed her changing, aime watched her face go pink as she slipped off her pants, she smiled to herself, shes so cute, if i was a guy i'd have the biggest crush on her, aime thought to herself

"you finding your clothes okay?" aime teased, ellie felt her face get even hotter, shit shes so hot- "u- uh, yea, just fine" ellie stuttered, moving her back so aime wasnt in her peripheral vision anymore so she could actually focus on finding them

aime got completely nude, as the rain had soaked through her clothes and her underwear and bra were soaked, slipping on white boxer breifs and a white V cut tanktop, her bag was really full and these were the only clothes she could fit as they were thin and tiny

aime walked over to the fireplace, sitting infront of it. once ellie had her clothes layed out, on the counter, she peeked her head thinking aime was still behind her, but she wasnt, so ellie looked over her other shoulder to see her on her knees trying to started a fire, ellie watched as her damp hair dripped down her back, going through her thin white too and down to her shorts, ellie couldnt help but stare at her ass.

aime felt eyes on her, she peeked her head over her shoulder to see ellie immediately moving her head away from her, aime smilied to herseld before going back to the fire

ellie turned her back to face aime, before getting undressed, placing her heavy wet clothes next to aimes, as ellie got changed, she stared at aimes light pink laced bra that layed on the counter, she started to get butterflies as she pictured what aime would look like in it, she shook her head feeling grossed out by herself and turned around now clothed

aime heard ellie walk over to the now lit fire, she moved her head to look up at ellie, aime didnt know it but her face went a shade of pink seeing ellie in a thick strapped white tanktop, it was tight but long, covering half her underwear- her underwear being greyish purple and sort of boxer breifs like aimes exepct hers were a lot shorter.

as ellie sat down next to aime, aime pulled out two cans of chef boyardiee ravioli, she passed ellie a can along with plastic forks, the only noises being heard was the fire crackling and the heavy rain- followed by thunder almost every minute

"so how are you and cat?" aime asked, eating the now warmed ravioli, ellie stayed quiet for a minute, "we're good" ellie shortly replied, aime nodded, "i really like the tattoo she gave you, you look super good with it" aime smiled, making eye contact with her

ellie got red from that (again) "so.. uhm.. how are you and daniel" ellie asked, trying to return the question, but her voice came out bitter, aime didnt realize ellies tone, now stuck in thought if her boyfriend she didnt like, aime shrugged, "i dont know"

ellies eyebrows scrunched, "what do you mean you dont know?" she asked her, watching aime as she stared into the fire, trying to stop her eyes from going down to her cleavage, "uh, its nothing, i do like him but hes just very needy and- touchy" aime tried to explain without outting herself for not liking him at all

"how so?" ellie asked, now invested, she thought they had the perfect relationship, "he basically moved in with me without asking, he complains that i work too much, and like.. he always tries to get me to do it with him, but i don't want to yet" aime said, she whished she wanted to, but everytime he would touch her she just would squirm away and would feel gross

ellie was dumbfounded, "wait? you guys havent done it yet?" she really thought they did it like every night, aime shook her head, "have you and cat?" aime asked, placing the empty can to the side, "maybe" ellie simply replied, aime nodded, "i figured" she said, taking a sip of water

"whats that supposed to mean?" ellie asked, "like every couple of jackson does it im the only one" she shrugged, ellie sipped water, "well, you and kaleb definitely did it" ellie almost mumbled, "what? no we didnt?" aime asked confused, kaleb was her ex boyfriend, they were together for about a year and half, before she found out kaleb had been cheating on her for almost a year.

"uh, you guys were together for over a year" ellie said, confused, "yea, i know, thats why he started doing it with other girls behind my back" aime replied, "he what?" ellie raised her voicd, growing angry at him, even though it was years ago when they broke up, the reason the broke up kaleb and amie told people they both just lost feelings

"oh shit- i didnt mean to say that, ellie please dont tell anyone, please-"

"i wont, but what the fuck?" ellie questioned, "next time i see him hes gonna kiss my fist" ellie said angry, "ellie! its not a big deal and it was years ago, who cares?" aime asked confused of why ellie randomly got mad

"who cares? you dont date someone and go fuck other people because they werent ready for it!"

"no, trust me ellie, its fine, i didnt even really care when i found out, i didnt really like him" aime shrugged, "huh? whyd you date him?" ellie asked, "i- im done talking about this" aime said, unsure of how to reply

they were silent for a few minutes, just staring into the fire- well aime was, and she thought ellie was too, but ellie was staring at her

ellies eyes trailed from aimes eyes, to her nose, to her soft plumpled lips, to her slightly wet neck, almost dry from the rain, to her full chest, to her damp white shirt, her shirt was damp enough that you could see her shape and her nipples from her not wearing a bra, ellies eyes trailed even ferther to aimes bottoms, flickering back to her breasts. her mouth began to water, she thought about what her lips would taste like, what her skin would taste like, how perfectcly her hands would cup her breasts, how her pussy would taste- ellie tried to stop her thoughts but shes been holding them back for too long now, and they kept pouring into her head, ellie wondered what her face would look like, what noises would come out, she thought about her screaming her named-

ellie felt herself grow wet, she couldnt stop it, "im gonna go to the bathroom" ellie mumbled, standing up and walking to the door in the kitchen, she entered the bathroom, it was small, just a toilet, a sink, and a standing shower

ellie locked the door and sat on the toilet cover, she felt butterflies in her stomach, thinking of how aime would look riding her, how her wavy hair would drape over her naked body, ellie pressed her theighs together, "shit" she whispered, allowing her hand to go to her underwear.

"hey" aime smiled, ellie was bright red, i cant believe i just fucking did that, ellie thought to herself, slapping herself in her mind for doing that to not only cat but to aime

"hi" ellie said, standing up looking down at aime who still sat on the ground, "we should probably get to bed?" aime questioned, ellie looked back at the bed, shit i forgot theres only one bed, "uh- yea, probably" ellie nodded, "you okay?" aime asked, "yeah why?" ellie quickly said back, "you just seem, flustered? i don't really know"

aime put out the fire, the moonlight lighting the cabin, and held out her hand for ellie to help pull her up, which ellie did, once aime was up, she didnt let go of ellies hand, she smiled looking up at her, "can i ask a personal question?" aime randomly asked, still holding ellies hand, "uh, sure?" ellie said confused, "how many people have you.. done it with?" aime asked, hoping it wasn't too weird, but they were both 19 so aime wanted to compare their numbers.

"only cat" ellie answered, aime nodded, looked down to her feet, "how many have you?" ellie asked, "uh.." aime hummed, "im not like- gonna judge you or anything" ellie tried to comfort her, which it worked, "none" aime mumbled, "none?" ellie asked, making sure she heard it right, aime nodded, "oh" ellie said, which caused aime to look up at her, "i didnt mean that to sound like i was judging or- something- i meant oh as in just like that i was suprised" ellie corrected

aime laughed, "its okay, you can judge, ive had three boyfriends, im 19, and still a virgin"

"three?" ellie asked confused, she only knew of two, "oh, yeah, it was before you came to jackson" she shortly explained, "who? do i know them?" ellie asked, "uh.. lucas, but it was only like for 4 months and we were 13 so it doesnt actually really count" aime explained, which caused ellie to laugh

"well why havent you?" ellie questioned, "just dont want to, anytime the touch me i feel gross" aime shrugged like it was normal, "uh.. okay?" ellie said confused, "and if im being honest.. dicks are disgusting" aime whispered, which caused ellie to laugh again, "what? first of all, ive never heard a straight girl say that, second of all, did you just swear?!"

aime laughed, "oh shut up! everybody thinks theyre gross they just dont say it!" aime dragged ellie behind her as she made her way to the bed, ellie giggled as she crawled into the bed with her

"i should of brought a blanket" aime mumbled, the bed only has a sheet and two pillows, the blanket was nowhere to be seen

"yeah? how would you have brought that" ellie questioned, "uhh.. i would of figured it out!" aime said with a smile, they were both of their sides facing eachother, "yeah right" ellie laughed

ellie kept on flickering her eyes to how pretty her body looked, she needed to stop she moved and layed on her back

it was silent for awhile, ellie thought aime went to sleep and aime didnt know if ellie was awake or not, "ellie?" aime whispered, the rain still pouring, ellie turned her head and looked at aime, suprised she was awake, "yeah?" ellie asked, "im cold" aime said, her hands on her arms trying to warm herself up, ellie looked down at her and noticed her nipples poking through from being cold- "uh.. me too" ellie said, unsure of how to respond to that

"can we.. you know.." aime tried to say without saying it, "huh?" ellie asked clueless, "uh, i dont mean to sound weird or anything, i only mean it platonically but.." aime said nervously, ellie finally realized what she was getting at

ellie opened her arms up motioning for her to go there, aime smiled at the girl, and scooted till she was presseda against ellies said, she then rested her cheek against ellies chest, wrapped an arm around her waist, ellie closed her arms around her, hugging her gently

they layed in silence for a few minutes, aime warmed up a bit but her legs were cold, so she lifted her knee and placed it between ellies legs, ellie almost instinctively brought her hand to aimes leg, just above her knee, and pulled it up more so that her knee was only a few inches away from her heat, aime moved her hips to try and get closer to ellie, but since they were already touching ellie, and since aime's hips were in between ellies theigh, it only made aime's core brush against it, unexpected butterflies swormed aime but not in her stomach, and it felt good.

she sat in silence, her mind repeating how she felt when she moved her hips from a few minutes ago, she opened her eyes and looked up at ellie, but ellies eyes were closed and seemingly asleep. so aime pressed herself to ellie theigh, and moved her hips up, she let out a shakey breath, suddenly turned fully on- this is the first time she was every turned on with someone else in the room.

aime's eyes looked to ellies body, before she sunk her hips back down slowly, causing her to let out another breath as her clit rubbed against ellies skin, slightly gripping onto ellies fabric

she stopped herself, what the fuck am i doing? im straight, i have a boyfriend, and ellie had a girlfriend. what the fuck is wrong with me? i guess since daniels always in the house i never have time to touch myself so now that hes gone i wanna? she tried to reason

"whyd you stop?" ellies voice achoed the room as aime froze- "hm?" aime hummed, "you know what i said" ellie smirked looking down at the girl, but the girl had her eyes closed hoping she was dreaming completely embarassed, "stop what?" aime asked trying to sound confused, "don't play dumb" ellie said, moving her hand from aimes leg to her chin, she pulled her chin to look at her, aime looked anywhere but her eyes

"look at me" ellie ordered, aime scooted herself up more, hovering over ellie face to finally look at her in the eyes, they didnt speak anything, the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with scissors

aime couldnt help herself, she was so turned on by ellie, her body, her face, and her voice, she without any thoughts slammed her lips into ellies, ellie immediately kissed back, putting all the anger she had for herself and for daniel into the kiss, ellie had her hands onto ellies waist, and aime just did what felt right, aime had one leg outside of ellies, the other in between ellies two, her hands holding ellies face

ellie leaned herself up, moving her hands more towards aimes hips, pushing them to help her move agianst them like how she was doing eairler, aime let out a moan through the kiss, which made ellie melt

aime started grinding her hips more to ellies theigh, "do you want me?" ellie grunted, aime only hummed in response, "i need words" ellie said, making lovebites on her jaw, "mh- i- i want you ellie" she moaned, she never felt this good in her life, she felt like she was in heaven, "good girl" ellie whispered

ellie gripped aimes hips, causing them to stop, she brought her lips back to aimes lips, kissing her with tongue, aime tried to move her hips but ellie was stronger then her and she couldnt

aime brought her hand to herself, trying to rub herself but ellie pulled away and gripped her wrist, "did i say you could?"

"n- no" aime whined, ellie licked her lips before she brought her face to aimes cleavge, she kissed it a few times before she pulled away, pulling aimes shirt over her head, ellie felt herself grow even wetter at the sigh, she stared in awe for a moment, before she started to taste her skin and message her boobs

"ellie- please" aime moaned wanting more, as much ellie wanted to tease aime more, she was teasing herself, ellie pulled away, looking at the marks she just created,

ellie grabbed aimes hips and lifted her up, before pulling her leg up too, and pushing her to sit back down on her so now she was straddling her instead of being in between her legs

ellie then brought her middle and ring finger to her clothed slit, rubbing her slowly, watching as she squirmed, she could feel her wetness seeping through the fabric, "youre so wet" ellie grunted, she moved her hand and pulled the waistband of aimes boxers, she sunk her hand into them, letting her wet lips come in contact with the pads of her fingers, "is this all for me babe?" ellie moaned, "only you" aime moaned

ellie began to drag her two fingers up and down her slit, as they slopply kissed, "i need you in me ellie" aime moaned, those words alone made ellie moan, so she sunk her fingers deep inside of her, aime bit her lip muffling her moan, "let me hear you" ellie moaned, jamming her fingers even deeper then before, aime let her jaw hang as she moaned, and began to grind her hips onto ellies fingers, "you look so pretty on me" ellie whispered as she began to pick up her paste

"tell me how good it feels" ellie moaned, starting to curl her fingers, "mmpfh- it- it feels so good ellie!" aime whinned, "good girl" ellie whimpered, "i- im gonna" aime tried to make out a sentance, but she cut herself off with whine, her stomach tightened, she arched her back onto ellies fingers, but ellie kept on pumping, overstimulating her as she dripped onto her fingers

"you did such a good job" ellie complimented, pulling her fingers out, aime didnt know what was to happen next, but ellie shoved her two fingers into aimes mouth, watching as aime complied, sucking on her fingers and twirling her tongue around them

"good girl" ellie whispered, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth, ellie pulled aime and turned her around so now aime was on bottom, ellie pulled off her underwear and pulled off aimes

she pressed her lips to hers, making out with eachother there tongues tangling. ellie then moved so that her left leg was under aimes, and that her right leg was over her others, pressing their clits together, aime let out a whine as ellie started to grind, there slits grinding against eachother

as aime gripped onto ellies leg, she leaned her head back and let out a whine, "fuck- ellie" she moaned, moving her hips grinding along with her, "daniel could never make you feel like this, huh?" ellie groaned, "no, only you can ellie" aime moaned, bringing her hand to ellies tanktop, lifting it up she could see her body

"thats it- good girl" ellie moaned, aime felt as if her ears had been blessed with the sound of her moaning, she wanted to get more of her noises out, aime brought her hand to her boobs, squeezing them and messaging them, "ugh- fuck- you're so hot" she moaned, leaning her head back grinding harder, "im gonna cum ellie" aime was able to pant

ellie felt her stomach tighten at her words, she rolled her hips once more before her and aimes moans were combained, ellie leaned onto aime with their chests pressed together, ellies head in the crook of her neck, both panting together.

[zmediaoutlet]

fic: troth

a gift for @flownwrong as part of the kris kringle mingle -- have a good year, bud. :)

title: troth pairing: sam/dean length: 3200 tags: established relationship, season 10, truth curses

(read on AO3)

It's a sigil, some weird language neither of them recognize, two inches more-or-less square seared onto Dean's chest under the no-demons-allowed tat, right over his heart. Between that and the fun little gift from Cain, he's starting to feel crowded.

"Why there," Sam says, the jackass. Dean takes in a breath and Sam immediately looks sorry, says, "Wait—"

"Magical sigils tend to follow the ley-fields of the human body," Dean says, "so they can take advantage of belief foci: head, heart, hands, genitals, clusters of veins and nerves. In this case the sigil is inscribed in the place of greatest meaning for the witch who designed it."

His voice rasps. Sam grimaces. Writes it down, too, damn him. Like Dean's a damn wikipedia article he's referencing.

"This is not a question," Sam says, carefully. He ignores Dean's eyeroll. "I wonder how you know this stuff. I mean. I know we've been doing a lot of research but it seems—I don't know. Impossible."

It's not a question and so Dean doesn't know how to contribute. His tongue's felt weighed down, ever since they left that cabin in the mountains. His head hurts, fuzzy like lack of sleep and a hangover headache are warring for which can suck most, but Sam's been in some level of freak-out since yet another who-knows-how-terrible weird mark has imbued itself onto Dean's body and so here they are, at the tables in the library, researching through the night. Dean wants to say, hey, at least this one isn't trying to make me into a murder machine, but he can't seem to speak without being asked for something. Sam probably wouldn't appreciate it, anyway.

The spell leapt from the witch bitch's grimoire as Dean was tossing it into the fire, like it refused to die even as she went down under Sam's bullet. With the grimoire gone they'd probably be up the creek—and yet.

"I'd like you to drink a glass of water," Sam says. Another careful non-question. He sets it in front of Dean. "Your throat sounds like it hurts."

It does. Dean drags his hands over his face, hard, and then drags them over the back of his skull and presses his fingertips brutally into the muscle at the back of his neck that's aching like after a twenty-hour drive. Like trying to shift poured cement. Then he picks up the glass and drains it in cool glugging swallows, until his belly sloshes, and then he leans back in his chair with his eyes closed. Not the worst thing in the world to have Sam coddling him. From Sam, this counts as coddling.

The chair next to him drags out. "Don't hate me," Sam says. That's not a question, either. Dean gives him a sidelong squint and Sam's got his elbows braced on the chair arms, hunched, looking sorry. He's looked sorry a lot, this year. Dean can't say it but he hopes he communicates how dumb he finds the whole attempt is with, whatever, the shape of his ears and the distance apart his knees are set, and closes his eye again. "Yeah, okay," Sam says, quiet. Then: "Why can't you talk of your own volition?"

Dean's mouth opens.

Thing is, he's not saying it. It's like there's some portal that opens somewhere around his voicebox and information pours out from some other place. The answer's something about the witch cursing whoever killed her with knowledge beyond blah blah, but that doesn't mean Dean's got to pay attention to it or knows what it means. His head's killing him, anyway. Sam's writing down something while Dean babbles about a Greek curse originating from Delphi and Dean's just—a speaker, turning in to radio wherever. Crank the volume and listen to him go.

"This is… incredible," Sam says. "Dean, I think—could you tell me anything?"

"Yes," Dean says, and expects more, and nothing comes. Level of detail is all over the place, but whatever it is always seems to be true.

"Huh." A dragging sound: Dean opens his eyes, and Sam's pulled up his laptop, is clicking around. White light washing out his face. "Okay: what website am I looking at right now?"

"Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia," Dean says. When isn't he.

Sam squints at the screen, says, "What's the URL?", and Dean doesn't get to call him an absolute bitch before he starts parroting out: "H T T P S colon slash slash—" although at least Sam looks like he regrets it well before Dean gets to say Oracle.

His throat really does ache by the end and his head hurts bad enough that tears smart at the corners of his eyes. From talking. Somewhere, Sam at age twenty-two is feeling vindicated. The room blurs and he closes his eyes again, grips the table so as not to sway so visibly. "Are—" Sam starts, but luckily he seems to remember to use the massive brain in his massive head and doesn't ask; he touches Dean's arm, instead, gently at first and then squeezing hard. It hurts a little, is warm. Feels good. Dean should get cursed by some kind of dead Big Fat Greek Wedding broad more often.

"Yes or no questions, maybe," Sam says, mostly to himself seems like. Then: "Does answering hurt?"

"Yes," Dean says. Sam is supposed to be the smart one, right? He's testing that now.

"Does… the complexity of the question increase the strain of answering?"

"Yes," Dean says, voice cracking like he's friggin' thirteen, and Sam squeezes his shoulder instead, and then the back of his neck where everything seems to have been replaced by screaming furiously hot steel, and somehow Sam's hand doesn't sear right off so that must be something that Dean's dealing with on the inside. He feels like he should be visibly smoking.

"Hey," Sam says, quiet, and touches Dean's face, and—ah, damn it, the tears have spilled over so his face is all wet. He'd crack a joke about cutting onions but he figures Sam's heard it, and anyway he already got a lecture about autonomic responses to pain when he broke his collarbone, that one summer when they were kids, does Sam remember? None of which he can say but Sam maybe gets it anyway, since he smears his thumb over Dean's cheek and then says, "Stop being a wuss," so Dean can shove vaguely in the direction of Sam's heat, and Sam can grunt on the weak impact and then say, "Okay, c'mon—" and drag Dean to his feet even if he thinks he might faint.

His bedroom. Sinking into the memory foam, his forearm over his eyes. Sam turns on the bedside lamp and Dean flinches, even with the shade, so the lamp goes off again. A few seconds pass before Sam sits on the side of the bed.

"Guess it would've been too good to be true to just get the answers to life, the universe, and everything," Sam says. "Or, I guess we could, but then you'd blow up? What do you think, worth it?" Quiet, although he's just about the one thing that doesn't seem to hurt right now. Dean fumbles a hand down and finds Sam's leg, warm through denim, and flicks him as hard as he can. "Ow." Yeah, that's what he gets.

Sam sits there quiet for a while, Dean's hand tucked in against his thigh. While Dean breathes it feels like the pounding of his head reduces, a little—just a regular high-speed drum solo and not a Keith Moon explosion—and it feels less like he's gonna puke and have a stroke all at the same time.

"One reason we've got to fix this: I don't know how, but somehow I'm missing the crack you'd normally make about me holding your hand." Dean snorts. Sam's fingers move against his pulse. "Maybe later we can try more yes and no stuff. I want to be able to just ask how to get rid of it but I don't want to give you an aneurysm."

Sam's hand moves up his forearm. Dean swallows. Lot of answers they could use.

He expects Sam to get up but he stays. His hand folds over the mark on Dean's arm and stays there. Another pulse point but Dean guesses that's not why. Sam's warm, which is a stupid thing to keep thinking but it just feels so damn good Dean can't give himself too much crap for it—he is warm, and he feels right, and he smells good on top of everything else. Been a long time and everything's been so weird and scary, even scarier than normal which for their lives is really saying something, and he missed Sam, is all. A lot. More than he could say, and now that he wants to say it he can't. His life's a real joke, a lot of the time.

While his pulse slows further he thinks about the last time Sam was in this bed. Six months ago maybe. With Sam hating him and him knowing he deserved it, and how that didn't matter in the face of the dumb physical release they both needed, and how they didn't look at each other and it was dark and for Dean's part at least it wasn't even enjoyable, just—an exercise, muscle being used to its highest straining point and then the relief of dropping the weight, endorphins flooding, making it seem worth the effort. The next-day ache something you didn't think about in the moment. Kind of thing you didn't want to remember in the minutes before you died but it came up in the last flickering montage, the way he'd sat on the edge of the bed feeling loose and nasty and drained and just rotten down through every layer down to the very center where the little kernel he relied on to be himself, to be anyone worth knowing at all, had gotten dislodged and he wasn't quite sure he knew how to find it again. Sam had walked out of the bedroom without saying anything and that had felt right, or at least like the least wrong thing, considering all the wrong that had gone on. On the day he died, that last time, even if getting his lungs perforated hadn't been on the top things he wanted to do that day, that last little fleck of him felt like it got pinned down under the blade—he'd been there, at least, and been able to look at Sam and have Sam see who he was, and all the sorries he'd wanted to say and all the fault he knew was his just bubbled up and evaporated into the dank air and he didn't know, then, how to sum it up. All he should've said to his brother and all he felt and there wasn't time to say sorry for that last time. To apologize for all the times before. To go back, down the years and decades, and say wish I hadn't saddled you with all this, and yet also to say—I'm so glad they saddled you with me, and yet also—you are the best part of me, and yet also—and yet also. How impossible it was to summarize what being Sam's brother had meant and would always mean. Because where would he be, otherwise.

Sam hasn't let go of his arm. His heart beats slow as honey.

"This isn't a question," Sam says. Dean's fingers twitch against his leg. Sam's voice is low, even. "I've been thinking of the crappiest things to ask you. Big stuff, little stuff. Every thing I've wanted to know all my life. Things that happened when I was gone. Stuff I know you lied about. Like whatever happened to the Starburst I was saving in my backpack, that time in fourth grade when I wanted to share them with Laura Harris." It's almost a question but apparently not enough of one, thank god, because Sam really wouldn't like the answer. "I want to know how to get that thing off your arm. I want to know why you did it."

Dean pulls his arm off his face. Sam's looking right at him, in the half-light.

"Thing is, I think I know, but I don't know that I know." He seems like he's about to say something else and bites his lips between his teeth instead. He swallows, and shrugs. "Hard to cut out filler words."

That doesn't make sense but that's not unusual when Sam's thinking out loud.

What Dean can't say:

It was the obvious thing to do. Things were real bad between him and Sam but that wasn't the only reason, or even the main reason, he said yes. There was a huge evil thing that was going to just get huger and more evil and he was presented with the only way to stop it and there wasn't, for him, much more reasoning than that needed to do what was necessary. Maybe if Sam had been with him, Sam would've talked him out of it. Maybe. But more than likely, they would've just argued about which one of them would have to get laid out on the sacrificial altar this time around, and after he'd nearly lost his mind and his heart trying to stop Sam from dying last time, he'd be damned if it was Sam who'd die this time, and—he would've done whatever it took to get the thing on his arm and not Sam's. Including betrayal, as bad or worse than what he'd done to keep Sam alive last time. So, it was just as well. He'd defeated the huge evil thing and all that was lost was himself. Not much of a weight on the scales, really. And Sam would be fine. Sam had proven that, half a dozen times over.

"Your pulse slowed down," Sam says. Dean can't even really nod—that seems to count as communication—but it's obvious, anyway. Sam's cheek sucks in on one side and he looks all over Dean's face. "I guess this might be counterproductive, but—your head still hurt?"

"Moderately," Dean says, and then he makes a face. Who talks like that? It makes a little pulse of pain bloom at the back of his neck where his spine hits his brainstem, but so what.

Sam kinda laughs. "Okay," he says, and then sits there, with his hand big and warm at the crook of Dean's elbow and his eyes still on Dean, and his body there, close. God, has Dean missed that. Six months isn't the longest they've gone but—six months feels like a long time, these days. Knowing how quickly the days can run out.

"Sorry," Sam says, first. Dean sighs and Sam gives him a look. Yeah, Dean's got looks too. Even so, Sam lets go of his arm and then lays his hand heavy on Dean's chest, meets his eyes. "This is a question." Dean raises his eyebrows and Sam holds there, lips parted, like he's really thinking about it. Then: "Do I need you?"

Dean's mouth opens and he says, "No."

If it didn't hurt on a number of levels it'd be kinda funny how Sam's face changes. Full-on blanch, like faced with the nastiest-ever monster. Dean's chest feels like it's been hit with a sledgehammer and he pushes Sam's hand away, struggles up to sitting, only Sam grabs him again by the arm, shaking his head, brow all crumpled, but hell—if they've proven anything in the last dozen hours it's that Dean is a mouthpiece for the truth, the ultimate truth, the truth that's past guesswork and implication and is just actual fact handed down from the universe.

"Wait," Sam says, like Dean's saying any of this crap out loud. Dean twists his arm away and puts his back to the headboard, the wall. Sam lets go with his hands held high, face all sorry. "That's not true, though, Dean. It's not true."

Dean looks at the ceiling, because he can't shrug or shout and he thinks if he tried to leave Sam would just fight him about it. If that's what Dean answers then that's the answer. He just wishes Sam hadn't been enough of a dickhead to prove it to them both.

"God, I can't think how to—" Sam touches his leg, and then the center of his chest, and Dean smacks his hand away but Sam puts his fingers right back, like he's sounding Dean's body for answers. "Do you need me?"

"Yes," Dean says, and really ought to punch Sam in the face for proving the contrast, but as he's grabbing Sam's wrist Sam shakes his head and says, quick, "Do you want me?" and the answer to that is, of course, "Yes," and Dean's just about sick with it. Why is he—

"Do I want you?" Sam says, and then fast while Dean's opening his mouth, "I don't know if that's enough. But I do, Dean. I want you here, and I do need you no matter what—I don't know, maybe not to literally live, but I want you, I want you with me, I want to hunt with you and I want to be here because it's where you are, because—god, do you know why?"

Dean's answers blur from yes to no. Sam holds his jaw, curled in weird on the bed, eyes all over his face again, searching. His hair stupid in the back-light from the hall. No, Dean doesn't know why. "I could make you answer," Sam says, tight, hurt. Dean grips his shirt. "I want you. Do you believe me?"

"I—" Dean says, and his throat stalls. His head hurts but nothing's arriving to fill it.

Sam curls forward, his forehead touching Dean's. "This curse sucks," he says, breath hot on Dean's mouth, and Dean can't argue with that but there's this ringing in his ears that's kind of distracting him. Sam's skin smells so good he can't stand it. "I want you. Is that true?"

Dean nods, the answer whispering out.

Sam's thumb dragging over his cheek, rasping in his stubble. Under his sternum there's the weird panicked feeling of having missed a step down in the dark, where your whole body lurches in unthinking terror, but also this weird tight coil of—of he doesn't even know what. Two true things to hold at the same time and if they're true then how could he not believe them?

Sam's thumb pushes hard under his bottom lip, dents it against his teeth. His head dipping, his temple against Dean's. Dean gets a hand on his shoulder and wants to say—fifty things. Wants to punch him, still. A little. Maybe a lot. Six months, though, and how screwed up they've been. His heart thuds low in his gut and his head hurts but so what. He sits up more and Sam moves with him, his shoulder curving in toward Dean, his other hand sliding down Dean's side.

"I don't want to ask," Sam says, soft against Dean's ear, but he doesn't need to. Never has.

[neversetyoufree]

Looking back through the first couple volumes of VnC, it's wild how much of what Vanitas does in early chapters is nothing but a series of transparent attempts to put himself in control when he feels uncomfortable. You don't notice the first time you read it, or at least I didn't, but he's really quite obvious once you have the knowledge of what subjects he's sensitive about.

I've touched on this before, but I think Vanitas's biggest defense mechanism is theater, specifically playing up his own power/unpredictability in order to make everyone around him uncomfortable. "Vanitas" is a character that he plays, and he weaponizes that character against others when the man behind the act feels threatened.

(Now that we're under the readmore, here's your warning for a VnC-standard amount of discussion of sexual assault).

Even starting in his very first scene in chapter 1, when we've yet to see Vanitas get anywhere close to vulnerable or upset, we get a hint of how he operates. His first attempt to get Noé away from Amelia isn't to physically fight him—it's to play sinister and deliver a vague threat.

He could have gone straight for the knives, or he could have told Noé the truth that Amelia herself was dangerous and urged him to get away. But that's not the person Vanitas is. He doesn't talk things out with honesty, and he doesn't resort straight to violence unless he's really over the edge. He threatens and plays up his dangerous persona to get what he wants.

He even uses the very same line with the security guards later in the chapter, playing sinister again to escape arrest because he might be screwed otherwise.

He's pretty much never authentic pre-catacombs, but moments like this where he dials up the act to achieve something show how in control he is of his own inauthenticity. And he never takes advantage of that control more than when he feels threatened, be that threat physical (like the security guards) or emotional.

When Noé asks him about how he inherited the book of Vanitas in chapter 2, something we now know is a sensitive secret, Vanitas immediately changes the subject. He gets in Noé's space, acting borderline flirtatious (and he often does get flirty as part of his persona), then returns to the topic of Noé being his shield (which is an act in itself, given how he really reacts to being protected).

It takes one poke to the chest and a couple of sentences to switch the conversation from "Noé insists on knowing Vanitas's sensitive past" to "Noé has to deal with the mysterious, overbearing Vanitas's whims," which is just how Vanitas wants it. Playing up his demanding, in your face side buries the threat of an uncomfortable topic.

Then, when Dominique suggests that he worships the blue moon during the bal masqué, we get a much more extreme incarnation of this same behavior. Domi's words threaten to undermine a huge part of the narrative he's built for himself as Vanitas, and they do so by dredging up a truth that he wants desperately to keep buried. He might not worship the blue moon, but he really did love Luna, and being reminded of that throws a big wrench in the narrative of his revenge against them.

He cannot handle having his narrative undermined at this point, and especially not by a reminder of Luna, who is arguably the most sensitive part of his whole tragic backstory. So he freaks out, and freaking out for Vanitas means throwing himself into his false persona as hard as he possibly can. He grows sinister, speaking darkly before breaking into maniacal laughter that startles Dominique and her attendants. Then he hurls his constructed narrative into public view, revealing himself and ensuring that every vampire knows his claim of "wanting revenge."

Nobody's going to forget the human that leapt onto a chandelier in the middle of a ball, revealed himself to be the kin of the blue moon, then swore his vengeance against that very kin, and that means nobody else is going to misunderstand him like Domi and dredge up the truth: that he never really hated Luna.

Going manic and theatrical like this is a defense mechanism, and it's one that ensures not only that Domi stops hassling him, but that, hopefully, he'll never even have to consider worshiping the blue moon ever again. It's a total rejection of an idea that made him uncomfortable, achieved through theater. It also takes a situation that was quite out of his control, his being chained up by Domi, and turns it into a scenario that he engineered, where he is in absolute control of the crowd for at least a few moments.

The best example of all this though, the time when Vanitas combines every form of weaponized persona I've talked about into one awful act, is the scene in which he forces a kiss on Jeanne.

As I mentioned before, Vanitas often plays up his flirtatiousness as part of his persona. He does it with Jeanne quite often, and he does a (usually) subtler version of it with Noé a few times as well. It's a great way to change the subject and make throw people off their game without resorting to threats, and his treatment of Jeanne in chapter 4 is an extreme, but not too surprising incarnation of this same flirty habit.

He might be attracted to Jeanne, but attraction alone is not a reason to force a kiss on an unwilling stranger while ending a fight. Vanitas kissing her was, as much as any other moment I've referenced here, an instinct to protect himself and gain control of a situation that otherwise threatened him.

Winning the fight or not, Vanitas is in a tenuous position in terms of control when dealing with Jeanne. Jeanne is an incredibly strong opponent, and she managed to withstand both a bite from a curse-bearer and a direct stunning hit from the Book. Vanitas has played all of his cards, and his only insurance that she won't murder him immediately is Noé, a man he barely knows, successfully keeping Luca hostage without realizing that's what he's doing. These are not great odds. He's also extremely attracted to Jeanne, and though his initial attraction to her isn't nearly as distressing as his full-on infatuation in mal d'amour, being weak to the sight of her represents yet another loss of control.

Then Jeanne tries to sacrifice herself. She tells Vanitas he can do anything to her he pleases, so long she can protect the child she's devoted herself to watching over, and there is no way on Earth that this moment isn't a trigger for Vanitas, because he once did the exact same thing. He's already in an unsteady situation, and then she reminds him of Misha and his own darkest moments, which means that conversation has to end immediately.

"Please don't hurt him," is the last thing Jeanne says before Vanitas flips suddenly from threats to advances, and his face when he gets close to her is manic.

So when Vanitas gets uncomfortable, what does he do? He changes the subject wildly, suddenly making the whole situation about him and his fickle, unpredictable moods and unreasonable demands. He cranks up the character of the wild, demanding, show-stealing Vanitas to eleven. He kisses Jeanne. And even though it's a cliche line, the fact remains that sexual assault is never really about the sex. It's about power and control. Vanitas does wild things and plays up his persona as a clutch for control when he's uncomfortable, and this is that to an extreme degree. This kiss gives him the power in their interaction.

Plus, the specific bad memories that Jeanne unintentionally triggers for Vanitas are all about bodily autonomy. His own "do what you want to me, just don't hurt the kid" moment was protecting Misha in Moreau's lab, which led to physical violation after violation. It was a complete loss of his agency and autonomy. And his memory of Misha is also deeply tied to whatever happened with Luna's death, and given the possibility of his being made their kin without consent, that memory may also be one of the loss of autonomy.

This scene is Vanitas not just getting triggered, but being reminded of his loss of control and ownership of his body. It makes a twisted kind of sense that the resultant clutch for power and control comes via him forcing his body onto somebody else. He manufactures a situation that is all about bodily autonomy, but he has all of it and the source of danger has none. And he does it all while stealing the show and rerouting the topic as he always does.

Just like so many other actions he takes early in the series, his most reprehensible moment is just another desperate grasp at control. He has to be threatening and showy and unreasonable. He has to be the kind of man that announces himself as savior to a room full of powerful enemies. The kind of man can force himself on a powerful woman like Jeanne. Because if he doesn't drive home the act well enough, somebody might gain access to the horribly vulnerable person underneath.

[riley-coyotl]

My poor sweet Juniper has had a very rough week :(

tl;dr: Juni sliced her paw open pretty bad at the river, and had to endure her first ever ER vet visit to be stitched up, which involved a traumatic needle-stabbing incident during the sedation process (they missed the vein ~10 times...) A day later, she managed to get around her cone collar and rip out her stitches overnight, so she had to go BACK to the vet (thankfully this time her regular vet who she's familiar with) to get sedated and stitched up again, with a bandage on her foot for good measure this time, and a different cone that better accommodates her long snoot and teeny little neck. She is a very sad little doggie about it.

Details under the cut:

We took the dogs for their first river swim of the year, didn't even stay long because the water level was too high, and then while we were packing up to leave, noticed Juni was floating her back left paw in the air like it was hurt. Discovered she had a pretty big gash in her foot above her paw pad. No insignificant amount of blood. Took her home, cleaned it up... determined it definitely needed professional cleaning and probably stitches.

So Juni had to go get stitched up at the emergency vet--a vet she's never been to before, and has never met anyone there (and normally, Juni has trazodone + gabapentin on board for anxiety when she goes to the vet, but of course she didn't this time since it was an emergency and we didn't have time for meds to take effect.) To their credit, they were wonderful with her, very kind, patient, and knowledgeable on dealing with anxious dogs with Stranger Danger, and let us do most of the handling (everything possible) so she was comfortable being examined. To Juni's credit, she was very brave and very good, and I'm so so proud of her. She was quite nervous, but she did a great job relying on all her training and seeking comfort in us. She even did much better with the emergency handling by strangers than I anticipated.

Unfortunately, when it came time to stick her to sedate her so she could be stitched up, they had a hard time finding her vein with the needle. Poor Juni was shaking, had to be stabbed over 10 times before they successfully got her, and by now she had freaked out, struggled, sprayed anal gland juice, the whole nine yards. Legitimately, I think this was probably the worst day of her life. :(

Everything else went fine, and we even took advantage of her being sedated anyways to get some routine bloodwork done. Everyone at the ER loved her despite her wanting nothing to do with them. She's a scared doggie, but she's a good doggie.

Took her home, she sulked about her predicament all night. She had a normal "happy visit" appointment scheduled at her regular vet, and we chose to keep the appointment to let her experience the usual routine and nice doctor she's used to. It went well, I think it was good for her to have that experience to contrast with her scary one.

Later, overnight, Juni somehow managed to get around her cone and rip out all her stitches, and so the next morning she had to go back to the vet for the third day in a row, to get stitched up again. This time at least, she was able to see her regular vet and did MUCH better with her. We take her for regular happy visits there and practice cooperative care handling with our vet that she's familiar with, and this appears to have paid off even in the case of emergency handling where cooperative care was not feasible (she's not up to the point in her training where she will accept an IV stick from the doc.) No struggling this time, they got her vein on the first try, and they fixed her up, re-stitched the wound, bandaged it for good measure, and got her a cone collar that fit her better (long snoot, tiny neck...it's surprisingly hard to find!) While sedated, she also got the last two vaccines she needed done this year (lyme and flu.) Still, even though it went really well, I'm sure that was quite stressful for her.

Poor Juni has been pretty sad, she's really not happy having to wear the cone, and it is breaking my heart every time she stares at me with her sad face asking for my help to free her from being "trapped" and being unable to help her. She is gradually getting used to having to wear the cone, adjusting to it, but man. What a week. And no swimming, and reduced activity until her foot is all better...just sad :(

We are considering getting her spay done during her recovery for her foot so we can overlap recovery times, reducing the Total Suffering Time for her. We'll see.

Pics above are as follows:

1. Juni right after her injury, when I discovered she was hurt

2-3. Juni seeking reassurance at the ER vet

4. Juni practicing putting on + wearing the vet muzzle while we waited for them to come sedate her

5-7. Zonked Juni, waiting for her to wake up from sedation

8. Juni being sad after her ER vet visit

9. Juni being sad after having to get her foot re-sutured

10. Juni imploring me to help her because she's "trapped" :(

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Tw: Mentions of incest and kind of implied noncon/taking advantage of someone without their knowledge

Okay, now this is fucked up to think about but what if Helaena or even Laena took a page out of either Alicent and Rhaenyra’s book and had children by Viserys’ Sickly!Young!Brother!Reader?Or what if Rhaenys had even done so herself?? Like, this poor ailing man has unknowingly fathered damn near everyone at this point.

In the case of Helaena or Laena bearing the Reader’s children I’d like to go with the scenario that they respectively weren’t children of his own, to at least take some of the fucked up-ness away. Like, Helaena was still Viserys’ child and Laena being Corlys’.

I couldn’t help but think of Daemon not ending up having any children of his own, maybe at the very least Aegon III and Viserys II would end up being his. Maybe. But end up having Baela and Rhaena being his brother’s children in the end. It’d be worse if the only children he did end up siring were his last child with Laena that ended up leading to both their deaths and Rhaenyra’s baby girl who also ended up not making it.

Regarding Helaena, I feel like out of all of Alicent’s children she’s the one who latches onto and clings to Sickly!Uncle!Reader the most out of the lot. She feels like he understands her the best, or at least he tries to and he doesn’t judge her or think that she’s a freak. If anything he is nothing but gentle and loving in any and all of his interactions with her, even when she spouts on about complete nonsense. He doesn’t disregard her or act like she’s lost her ever loving mind, he just listens to her as she goes on about whatever and genuinely seems interesting in what she has to say even if she doesn’t elaborate. She feels safe when with him, she always has and she couldn’t think of anyone else she would rather go to for comfort then him. So it only made sense for her to bear his children, that’s what love is after all right? What her mother and father have put on her and Aegon isn’t because of love or for love. But when it comes to the Reader, love is all Helaena has for him. And he obviously loves her too after all, doesn’t he?

[sonicasura]

My half asleep ass right now: Transformers Prime but Miko is an Ogerpon.

Like seriously that's just it. No depressing story about her used to being human. Miko is just a funky little tree ogre who accidentally ends up in the wrong universe and vibes there.

She is mistaken for a ghost constantly as Miko likes to roam the school grounds since there's all the drawing supplies, free(to her) food, and spook others with all her masks. She can Terastalize too because you can't have the full 'Cute but can kill you' niche without it. I'm talking use all four masks in succession just like the battle in the Scarlet/Violet DLC. Here's the video.

(Further info for anyone who doesn't have much knowledge on Pokemon or this particular fight. Ogerpon is LV 70 Grass Type so being able to KO LV 91 mon's game wise and three Legendaries with type advantages lore wise is no joke.

Her normal ability is Defiant which boosts her Attack stats if one stat is lowered. When teralstallized, Ogerpon's ability changes to Embody Aspect which boosts a stat depending on the mask. These masks also affect her type but also signature move Ivy Cudgel upon being equipped.

Cornerstone grants the Rock Type alongside boosted Defense. Wellspring gives Water and a Special Defense boost. Hearthflame boasts Fire alongside an Attack boost. Finally Teal Mask which has the power of Grass and gives a Speed boost.)

Back to the plot section: Miko does become friends with Raf and Jack before canon. She just felt lonely so figured these two random kids could be great playmates. They did get scared first as it's Miko. She has no tact at times but did convince them of her friendly nature. Plus it makes the fateful encounter with the Autobots so much funnier.

No one knows what the hell Miko even is, again Pokemon don't exist here, thus they are unaware that she's a powerful Legendary who will decimate Megatron if given the chance than a helpless organic. Ratchet definitely had a conniption fit once the Ogerpon takes up residence at base. Like the Autobots can't just leave some strange plant entity running around amongst the clueless human population.

Bulkhead obviously becomes her guardian although no one can stop him from signing adoption papers this time. Plus the bots would so try to teach Miko how to speak as only Raf and Jack had bond with her enough to understand Ogerpon. (You know he'll cry if her first words is his name.) Miko gets to be his little Wrecker as a treat. He also gets front row seats to her Terastallizing first.

Once the danger is gone, Bulkhead absolutely took Miko back to the base. The poor guy was freaking out so badly that he had a Blurr moment until Optimus calm him down enough to speak normally. Meanwhile Miko just vibes in his servos oblivious to the world.

Well until Bulkhead asks for her to Terastallize again. If Miko giggled when Ratchet nearly jump out of his frame from a giant crystal mask jumpscare then it was expected. She's a little shit, your honor. Especially to Ratty.

What do you guys think?

[fvriva]

tried to keep the genders pretty even here. propaganda under the cut!

Iskandar is extremely tall, buff, and generally logical and stoic with a bit of a temper. She's still coming to grips with her sexuality and struggles with vulnerability, but once you can get her in a mood she really melts like butter. Covered in extremely hot multicolored scars that glow. Prophetically destined to become a milf

Bikkri is a curt but highly intelligent Asura scientist currently adapting to a demon core in their chest, which gives them some monstrous qualities. Has a tendency to push themself too far. Extremely thoughtful and will remember everything you tell them about yourself and your interests, acting on it when you least expect it.

Newt is a bit of a plain-jane everyman, but he has a heart of gold. He believes in you. You've got this. He's your dad now!

Sibyl has experienced a lot of sorrow throughout her two lives, but maintains a degree of warm serenity despite the horrors. Broods like a hen. Was a freak back in her prime.

Alrich honestly never really knows what's going on but is just happy to be here at any given point. They're living life out of chronological order after spending their formative years, similarly achronologically, in a time loop. They're easygoing as it comes, and playful, but not naive.

Razza is grizzled, irreverent, keen, and hardheaded. One of my three commanders in my Triumvirate, she's also the representative for the Whispers and chief spearhead on all things Elder Dragons. A little bit clingy but hates admitting it.

V'rylla was a hero from the previous age, an enchantress wed to the Chosen One that took advantage of the war in heaven to join their ranks as an angel herself. She's conniving, adaptable, duplicitous, a temptress, and intoxicating. She's got a kid, somewhere. She can do freaky body horror shit.

Baraquathor is chronically fatigued, seems a hapless fool, and has a short attention span for an elf, but he plays up a lot of his weaknesses in order to disguise the fact that he's in charge of every situation. He's really, really convincing about it.

Fvriva is power hungry and craves eldritch knowledge beyond what is capable of being understood and comprehended to an unhealthy degree. As such, she tends to gravitate towards positions of cosmic power, and tends to step over whoever she has to in order to taste the most forbidden of fruits. Highly variable in a relationship, but it does tend to bring out the best and most brilliant in her.

Baphy is sweet but plagued by melancholy all her life. She's very quiet and likes to paint in her free time. Works as a fabric merchant. Recently had a miscarriage; wants kids still.