Aro-Ace Linh Song Aesthetic(that's not necessarily pride-flag themed, because aces and aros are not pride flags personified)
I don't have to sacrifice my happiness for anybody
And I don't have to try and make sure I make everybody happy
Try to run from the pain, but it does me in
Try to drink it away, but I learned to swim
Try to hide from the hurt, but it found me out
Guess I'll stare it down
Don't belong to no city
Don't belong to no man
I'm the violence in the pouring rain
I'm a hurricane
"But don't you think I'm hot?"
I don't know if I'm qualified to answer that or not
I just wanna know what comic books you read
I wanna know if you play D&D
Ooh, in your eyes I can see the disguise.
Has anyone seen lightning?
Has anyone looked lovely?
And the daffodils look lovely today,
And the daffodils look lovely today,
Look lovely today...
I'm a motherf-cking woman, baby, alright
I don't need a man to be holding me too tight
I'm a motherf-cking woman, baby, that's right
I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight
“She was stronger alone; and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as, with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be."
Yeah there's nothing left to ruin, yeah we finally got free
How's that for manifesting our destiny
Black hole in my heart
Black hole in my favorite sweater
Stitch it up
Though I'll try
I'm just stitching a scarlet letter
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But soon the sting will pass
But names can dig so many graves
You won't know where to stand
And I don't feel secure no more
Unless I'm being followed
And the only way to hide myself
Is to give 'em one hell of a show!
Anxiety Song, by Human Petting Zoo // Under, by Transviolet // Hurricane, by Halsey // D&D and Asexuality, by The Skull Puppies // Daffodil Lament, by The Cranberries // Woman, by Ke$ha // Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen // PARAD(w/m)E, by Silvan Esso // I Don't Know Who I Am, by Rebecca Roubion // Ludens, by Bring Me The Horizon //
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tiergan reacting to tam and linh calling him dad? -t1sb
It was a very normal day, the first time it happened.
Tiergan honestly thought it was a fluke, an accident. He'd had it happen with Sophie, for crying out loud, and she'd blushed herself into taking a nap.
So he wasn't that worried the first time it happened.
Sure, it made his heart pound and his head light with some otherworldly sort of joy, but hey. Being a parent came with lots of moments like that, and you couldn't just count it all off on purposeful behaviors.
Anyways.
It was a very subtle thing. Tam had been on the couch, asleep, his book in his lap, his eyes shut and his head leaning against the cushions.
Tiergan had smiled.
There was such safety in his existence. It had taken months for that to grow. Tam had never used to exist. He'd tried extremely hard to make his existence small and meaningless. It was easy enough to do, a learned reaction from years of pressure and pain from people he should have trusted with his life, or a panic pressed in his chest that he should have been protected from.
But it was nearly midnight. Tiergan walked over to the boy's side, and gently shook his shoulder, just a tiny bit. Tam jerked awake, eyes entirely wide for a whole moment, then instantly drooping back to half asleep.
"What, Dad?"
Tiergan's heart had jolted.
He'd pretended nothing had happened.
"You're asleep, Tam," he smiled. "You need to go to bed."
"Can't I just... sleep here?" His voice was groggy.
Tiergan shook his head. "You've got a book in your lap, and your head's bent at an angle, and you're not gonna sleep well here."
Tam grumbled. Tiergan helped him up to his room, and let the kid collapse, fully clothed in his regular tunic and pants, into his bed.
He ruffled his adopted son's hair once, and then left the room, turning out the light.
The next time was different.
"Dad," Linh said, over lunch, non-chalantly. "What time are we going over to see Edaline and Grady?"
Tiergan choked on his food. Linh didn't make eye contact, or even acknowledge what she'd said.
After about three seconds of awed silence, he remembered that there had been an actual question in that, not just the word "Dad", and answered, his voice a grumble more than anything else, "Five. Sophie's gonna be there, too."
"Sweet," Linh said, and kept on eating her sandwich.
Tiergan brushed it off, once again.
The next time it happened, he was thrown off yet again.
"Hey Dad," Tam said, fully awake. "Tell Wylie he left his towel on the floor of the bathroom again. It's gross."
And it happened again.
"Hey Dad," Linh said, her eyes bright, "Tam said we were gonna go shopping later, but if not that's okay, I don't care, but if we are... are we going to Slurps And Burps? Dex said he had a new elexir that could make your eyes turn a different color."
"Yeah," he answered, still shaken. "We can do that."
Her grin was big enough that it made him grin back.
And it kept happening.
"Dad," Tam said.
"Dad!" Linh giggled.
"Dad... Seriously?" Tam scowled at one of Tiergan's jokes.
"Daaaaad."
"Dad!! Come on!!!"
It kept happening.
Until.
"Dad," Linh said, softly, in the silence between the flicker of the light between the fireplace in the living room and where she sat on the couch and he sat in his chair.
Tiergan looked up.
She didn't look at him.
He watched her for a moment, and she didn't move. Her eyes were just fixed on the fire.
"What's going on, Linh?"
She bit her lip, her eyes still staring into the fire. "Is it... is it okay to call you that?"
Tiergan blinked, looking at her. "Call me what?"
"Dad."
Tiergan felt the word like it was a shield, hefty, weighty, a promise, and a role he was more than happy to fill. She pressed her lips together, and looked at him.
"I get it if it's not okay. I mean," her voice slowly grew smaller. "It's a really improper title, and I don't even need to use it, and you're not my actual Dad, you're just someone I think of like-- It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, I won't--"
"Linh," he said, softly.
Her eyes shot to him. There was fear there, and it made him wonder what she'd heard.
"You can call me your dad if you want."
Her eyes went wide, big and huge and gray.
"I'd love to be someone you think of as your dad."
Her eyes went impossibly wider.
"And I love you," Tiergan said, simply.
"Father loves me," Linh said, softly. "He always said he did."
Tiergan watched her hands clench around her arms, tight enough to cut off her bloodstream. "Yeah?"
She nodded, fierce. "Things only hurt because they love you."
"Things shouldn't hurt more than they're good," Tiergan said, his voice gentle as possible.
Linh made a noise in the back of her throat.
"Love is good," Tiergan said, gently. "If there is no good in it, that's not love."
Linh nodded.
"Why did you bring that up?"
"I... I wasn't allowed to call my father anything like Dad."
Tiergan felt something sickened sit in his chest like a sad little man made of void-black paint, stretching his long nailed fingers into his chest and snipping off bits of his heart. "Why not?"
She winced, a sad smile touching her lips like the ache that touched his lungs for pain she and her brother had been through. "Said only good kids deserve to call their parents that. Proper kids." She looked away. "I didn't ask to be born," she said, her voice quiet, "They treated me like it was my fault I existed."
Tiergan didn't say anything.
"I didn't make the choices. They did," her voice was tinged with sorrow. A sad chuckle left her lips like the fire in the grate leaping up and randomly crackling with vigor. "That was my whole life. They made the choices that made me. There was no way around me. I existed. They just did everything they could to make my life hell."
Tiergan knew that she needed to be listened to.
He knew that her brother knew all of this.
But he wondered if she knew how much he could see the trust in the relaxation of her position as she stared into the fire. She didn't like what she was saying, but he was an okay person to say it to.
He felt like his heart would break.
But then again, his many children had broken it many times.
It had always reformed, and loved them even harder.
She leaned back. "They made me regret the existence I played no part in creating."
He watched her.
"It was a lot of stupid, little things, that just all added up to be bad. They didn't hug me. I was dangerous. They never let me go to Foxfire. I was a disgraceful, you know. They locked me in my room for every little thing. I was a really bad kid," she looked away. "They never listened to what I said, never took anything into account. I was..." she shrugged. "Ignored at best. A detrimental afterthought at worst."
Tiergan wanted nothing more than to master the art of time travel and collect this little girl and her brother from the place they'd grown up in that had screwed with their minds so much.
"I... I wondered. A lot, back then. If it would have been better for me to just. Not exist. That if my parents could have gotten rid of me easily in some way, that they should have. If it would have been better. For everyone."
"Not for me," Tiergan said, finally.
Linh blinked, her eyes turning back to him. "What?"
"It wouldn't have been better for me."
"Why not?" Sheer bewilderment filled her face.
He smiled, softly. "Because," he said, "I wouldn't have you for a daughter."
It took her a solid three minutes to formulate any sort of response to that.
"Dad?" she asked, her voice halting.
"Yeah?"
"Love you, too."
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