pja-party

[poke-me-with-a-stick]

Can I ask for more Penguin Danny?

Your wish is my command.

Honestly, I've had this one snippet stuck in my head for a while, so thank you for the excuse to write it ✨

--

Danny sat huddled with a few of the smaller penguins, relaxing into their warm feathers as much as he could as he took in the situation developing before him.

About two months ago, a group of scientists geared up for the harsh cold had arrived in the Arctic. They had taken up residence in the frigid metal building Danny had spent some time in when he first got here, bringing life and warmth to their base that hadn't been there when the teen needed it.

At first, they kept to themselves. Taking water samples from the snow and ice pools that covered the territory. But it was only a week later that they moved on to examining the colony that had taken Danny in. They would pull a penguin or two away from the group, giving them fish and krill while they measured the small creatures and attached a monitor to the animal's sleek feathers, releasing them back to the group to loudly squawk their tales to the rest of the birds.

Eventually, they made their way inwards, away from the penguin hunting hunting grounds and towards their nests. It was then that they saw Danny for the first time.

It had been funny, at first. The coat clad researchers had frozen, before chatting frantically. With how long Danny had spent hiding out in the cold, he wasn't surprised that it took a while to understand what they were saying. It did filter in, though, the longer they hung around. Words that he knew, but didn't make a lot of sense in the limited context he had. Stuff like "baby" and "different" were obvious, especially when they gestured at him as they spoke. But other words, like, "unusually large", and "dangerous" confused him.

Was he a bit bigger than the birds around him? Yes, yes he was. But he didn't think he was unusually large for the species he was supposed to be. Then again, it's not like he had ever actually seen a baby emperor penguin before, so he had no real life reference. But they were big birds! Surely that meant they had big babies? And even if he was bigger than he was supposed to be, how was anything about this situation was 'dangerous'?

It didn't help his opinion of the researchers when they tried to move him away from the flock. Trails of treats were fine and dandy at first, and easily ignored by the teen seeing as he didn't need the same amount of food as an actual baby penguin of his size (perks of being able to feed on ambient ectoplasm). When he didn't seem inclined to follow the trail like some of the others, who had all come back squawking about the researchers manhandling them again, they tried a more straightforward approach.

The teen would never forget the day those puffy coats pushed gently through the throng of black and white bodies until they boxed him in on all sides. His panicked squeaky screeches had immediately attracted the attention of the birds, and those pesky puffy coats had some nice tears in them for the troubles they caused. After that, the researchers found themselves being chased by the entire colony if they came to close, angry screeches drowning out their own panicked yells and occasional yells of pain when a beak managed to find purchase.

As much as he appreciated the colonies fierce protection, the teen should have known that it would draw attention. Those researchers were out here for a reason, probably some sort of documentary on the wildlife that thrived in colder environments. Maybe something about endangered species or global warming. Whatever it was, it had them hanging around, taking pictures and writing in journals.

It should have been more obvious to him that something was bound to happen. Pictures, even when he looked normal to the mortal eye, could easily reveal a different truth. It didn't take long for pristine white coats to appear, scouting the area with ecto-trackers in hand a blasters holstered at their sides.

The confrontation a full month after the researchers arrived was a bit surprising, and it took everything in Danny's new fuzzy body to stop from launching himself at the men in black rip offs when they leveled their blasters at the colorful puff coats.

The puff coats were sturdier people than he thought, though. Instead of backing off, like anyone else would do, they argued. Blocking the easier paths to the nesting grounds, tampering with their equipment while they were distracted with whatever ecto readings they were getting, even resorting to throwing things when the came too close to trampling one penguin Danny had affectionately dubbed 'Steve'.

And now here Danny was. Cozied up with a decent group of mother penguins and their babies while the fathers took their turn to hunt. Watching as the guys in white ran around screaming. The cause of their screams? The child with a sword that was chasing them.

At this point in his (after)life, Danny shouldn't be surprised by anything. And yet, surprising things continued to occur. Maybe he should ask someone if he was cursed or something.

The penguins around him shifted, letting out warbles and startled peeps as they resettled. Danny shook himself, pulling his attention away from the potential murder occuring in front of him to look at the source of his new friend's unrest. And was once again reminded to not be surprised by the surprising things that occured around him.

The half Kryptonian child that sat next to him gave the teen a smile and a gentle pat before turning his attention to where his friend continued to swing his katana, catching one of the scanners and a bit of an agents hand with the wickedly sharp blade. The kid next to Danny winced and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Robin! Remember what Nightwing told you before we left!"

The sword wielding child tisked loudly, the sound muffled slightly by the snow that was beginning to fall, but resumed his fighting with a little more effort in not hitting the agents with his blade. The handle of his sword, however, was used just as effectively. The Kryptonian kid sighed, but didn't call out again, instead reaching out to pet some of Danny's fuzzy brown down feathers.

This was fine, Danny decided. It wouldn't be fine forever, but for now it was. And whatever came after this, he could always try throwing vicious penguins at it. It worked well enough the first time.

[centrally-unplanned]

A bonus pre-election thought as I post my way through this week: there is one strain of Trump supporter I will call the "policy gamble Republican". They think Trump is a moron and a shitheel, and generally do not think Kamala Harris is worse in any way on things like character - they know all those arguments are bullshit. Instead, they are just coolly looking at the expected policy outcomes for each and think it comes out Trump.

They focus on markets and tend to be libertarian types - oh sure Trump says that he will do the tariff thing, but he won't, Republicans will back him off that ledge. And meanwhile Harris will continue to double down on the nanny state, and do "price controls", woke DEI stuff, etc. "Given the exponential returns of long-run GDP growth a 1.3% reduction in GDP today is worth approximately 200,000 babies in 2100" type stuff; the kind of people who argue Bush was Good, Actually, because PEPFAR saved more lives than the Iraq War killed.

And I do get this argument, I am mocking them affectionately here - there is valuable policy analysis to be done like this, it isn't a crazy instinct. Obviously to me, my first objection is just "the 5% or higher chance of authoritarian backsliding is not worth any of that", and I think that does carry the day. But there is a second point, which is that they treat the election itself as bloodless vis a vis the wider political currents. That if the Republicans win or the Democrats win that means one of them is in charge, but it won't change the underlying parties and they repeat next year.

I think they don't realize they are making this assumption since when you spell it out like that it comes off as quite naive. When Trump won in 2016 it broke both political parties in the US - the Republican party spiraled into nativist, anti-trade platforms, while the Democrats fought a huge culture war over things like whether America was Irredeemably Racist or if economic populism would carry the day. And as much as people tend to forget it today, losing in 2020 - and Trump's behavior afterward - got quite close to breaking his hold on the party. Honestly he got absurdly lucky, with Biden being such a deeply unpopular president and his challengers coalescing around Ron DeSantis who turned out to be incredibly mid.

It isn't predictable or formulaic ofc, but all of this is to say that Trump winning is very likely to consolidate and expand his hold on the Republican Party, which if you are a libertarian-esque market type is an awful outcome for you. Trump actively endorses anti-market populists for down-ballot elections! The "Free Trade Center" isn't gonna hold forever in the face of someone who keeps winning. And meanwhile his defeat will likely have a positive impact on making the Republican party saner. He is certainly an electoral liability for the cause if you want it to be empowered!

So yeah, independent of any policy bills or actions, elections themselves are important events that shape political culture. I would value that over a good number of specific reforms of this or that market regulation in any EV calculation.

Not the Jones Act though. Fuck the Jones Act.

[volcanoesmelting]

𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐄 | 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎

— 02. THE POD EPISODE

summary - you and spencer talk, sort of, but things still feel off.

pairing - spencer agnew x (fem!)reader

content warnings & tags - fem pronouns / angst / fluff / jealousy / potentially unrequited love / reader is a tiktoker/comedian who has freelanced at smosh for a year / lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: this chapter has some actual writing, lol. if you are an employee of smosh or affiliated with them do not read this- for both your sanity and my own.

[ SmoshCast Uploaded: Clearing The Air... | Smosh Mouth 58 ]

EARLIER THAT DAY

SPENCER AGNEW SENT YOU A MESSAGE ON TEAMS!

​​Outside of Spencer's office, you linger for a moment, trying and failing to pre-plan out this whole conversation in your head. You watch him as he stares at one of his screens, headphones on. 

How do you ask if things are weird without making them so? Sucking it up, you rap your knuckles against the frame, announcing yourself. He hears you through the massive headphones over his ears, pulling them to sit around his neck as he turns to look. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

You pause, rocking on your heels before entering and plopping down in the seat beside your friend—the one that you’ve spent hours just silently watching him cut and splice and sync audio in. Your eyes scan the space as if it could've changed all that much in the past few weeks. Spencer goes back to looking over a final edit for a games video.

“Feels like it’s been ages since I've been in here.”

He nods, “Yeah, feels that way.”

“I’ve been a little caught up recently, with work and stuff.”

“Stuff,” he sighs, then, perhaps a little snippily, adds, “Yeah, I've seen your Instagram.”

He still isn’t looking at you. You wince. 

You ask what you came here to, hoping it’ll help smooth things over, “You wanna get dinner tonight?”

Finally, thankfully, he looks at you. “Yeah?”

“Then you can meet Cooper, if you want.”

“Cooper…��� for an unknown reason, he seems to clam up a tiny bit once again. His eyes go back to the screen, typing notes for the final polish, “That’s the guy?”

You try to approach it as if you're setting out cheese in a mouse trap, hoping to lure him in, “Yeah, I think the two of you will get along really well. You’re a lot alike.”

You play a little dirty, “Wanna see a picture of his cat?”

That draws his attention. He shrugs, but you know you've got him. “Sure.”

You pull your phone out, scrolling to find a recent photo of her. Leaning in close to show him, your shoulders brush. “This is Marty.”

Spencer gives in further, smiling a little as he says, “That is a pretty cute cat.”

“Told you,” you laugh slightly. 

The conversation wanes there. The air is quiet for a moment as you look at each other—so very close—your smiles tapering off. You watch him as he watches you, each of you waiting for the other to break the silence. 

You count off the seconds, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and when you get to fifteen, you break eye contact and speak, “I’m sorry that I haven’t been a very good friend as of late.”

He scratches at his beard, sighing, “It’s fine, I get it. We’re adults; we have other priorities.”

“Yeah, but you are one of my top ones. Easy.” You bump your shoulder into his, “So, dinner?”

He looks at you. “Sure.”

You try to take it as a win, despite the swirling feeling of anxiety that still sits in your stomach. Setting your hand on his arm, you give him an appreciative squeeze as you get up. 

“I’ll text you so we can pin down details, I've gotta be on set.”

A/N: thank you for reading! if you'd like to be tagged let me know!

TAG LIST: @missflufffanfics @babble28

[hywonuka]

every step that i take is another mistake to you | jww (intro)

Sypnosis: It's another night out for Wonwoo, except for the small dare he has been given: to win Y/N's heart in 4 months. Could he, a lame virgin who has no idea of how to talk to women, be able to fulfill the dare?

Pairing: college!wonwoo x college!fem!reader

Genre: college au, falling for a bet or dare trope, fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: alcohol consumption, mention of virgin wonwoo, they are all dickheads except for minghao, wonwoo is a huge loser

Word count: 623 words

A/N: hiii :) i intend to make this a series (thats why i wrote fluff, angst and smut on genres even if in the intro there is none of it)!! its my first time posting any of my english works, so i hope yall like it!! wrote this mainly cuz i had the urge to read something of this trope with ww but found nothing lmao. as i go on with the different chapters, ill write the respective warnings :3

"No way you are asking me to do that", Wonwoo said, as he took a sip of his drink, looking at Vernon with his eyes wide open. They were at a bar, with some other of their friends, chatting and laughing until Vernon dropped the bomb.

"Yes way, or what, you don’t have the guts??" Mingyu chimed in, laughing at his friend's reaction. Hoshi looked at Wonwoo, who was still stunned at his friend’s dare.

It wasn’t weird that they would dare each other to do random stuff. In fact, it was kinda the most charming part of their hangouts, which the whole group enjoyed and laughed at. It wasn’t weird either that, as they kept drinking, the dare would turn more… interesting. But, what was weird, was that Vernon, out of everyone sat at that table, would dare Wonwoo to do that.

"Y-you seriously want me to court Y/N?", the one with glasses asked, slightly tipsy at that point, but still sober enough to comprehend his dare. "Like, h-how?"

Vernon, who is clearly drunk, and even at the verge of falling of his chair, laughed at the desperation of his friend. "I don’t know, that’s up to you!! I'm not the one that got dared".

"C’mon Wonwoo, it can’t be that bad", Mingyu says, patting his friend’s back, trying to reassure him in some sort of way. They all knew this would be actually hard for Wonwoo, but somehow makes everything more entertaining.

"Worst thing that can happen is that you finally get to touch a boob", as Vernon said that, he immediately got smacked by Minghao, who was clearly against the idea of that dare. "Hey, I’m about to fall!”

“Deserved. That dare is degrading, not only to Wonwoo but Y/N. Have you even thought of how she would feel if Wonwoo goes along with this dare?" The whole table went silent at Minghao's words, knowing he was right.

"It’s not like he is gonna pull her Hao, be honest”. Wonwoo looked at Vernon offended, but deep down he knew the drunk one was right.

“Yeah, like if a 22 year old virgin who is a huge nerd can pull Y/N", Hoshi suddenly said, immediately looking at Wonwoo. "No offence, just… stating the facts”

Minghao was at the edge of punching his friends. How could they be so stupid? The lack of emotional intelligence in men was something that truly made him mad, specially coming from his friends.

“Anyways, are you in Wonwoo?" All eyes were on him, and he knew it. He could sense the gazes of all his friends, expecting his answer. He couldn’t say no, could he? After all, if he said no, he would indirectly accepting the fact that he couldn’t pull Y/N, and that would hurt his pride, even if he knew it would be impossible for him to fulfill the dare.

"What do i get if I win?"

“100$ and me being your servant for a week”

Wonwoo looked at Vernon, reconsidering his words. "And if I don’t?”

“I’ll choose your outfits for a week”

The one with glasses looked at his friend, terrified. He wasn’t scared of Vernon’s fashion choices (even if he should), but mostly at the fact that Vernon could pick a pair of boxers and say that’s an outfit. And trust him, he knows Vernon is capable of it.

“How much time do i have?”

“4 months”

After a couple of minutes of silence, that felt like an eternity for everyone sat down at that table, Wonwoo spoke up. “Cool, I’m in”

Everyone in the table, except for Minghao, cheered the dare, and ordered a new round of drinks. Meanwhile, Minghao could only shake his head, completely disgusted to the situation.

“This is gonna end so badly…”

A/N: aaah, tysm for reading!! if you wanna be added to the taglist pls tell me!! ill try to update the next chapter asap :3

[oatmealdaydreams]

Y'all wanted the lore, so here ya go!

@localcanadiancreature62 tagged as requested

These are both variations of the Timestuck AU, so keep that in mind. Made these two AUs yesterday in the same hour of each other because I have brainrot and there's this really good timestuck fic I've been reading that got my brain rolling (Stan Overboard by itS_JuSt_a_thought on ao3).

Teen Dreams AU

Teen Ford ends up in 2013 with old Stan. Old Ford ends up with teen Stan in the early 1970s. The teen twins are from about a year after the science fair incident; so, teen Stan is a year into being homeless & teen Ford is a year into being in Backupsmore. No one knows how the fuck the Fords swapped places in time, but they need to get them back to their own timelines. This is all about two weeks before their birthday. Old Stan gets to see how teen Ford genuinely missed him back then. Old Ford gets a little glimpse of how teen Stan's situation was for him (this is during Stan's salesman days, think around the time he got banned from New Jersey and is heading to Pennsylvania). Teen Stan learns how much Ford cares about him and is protective of him, and he learns how to let someone else take care of him for a change. Teen Ford learns how much Stan truly cares about him and never meant to actually hurt him, which helps makes his grudge look pretty stupid in the long-run. Might have some 13 yrs old Dipper & Mabel help out in 2013. Would be interesting for teen Ford is get to know his future twin niblings & also talk about them to teen Stan when he gets back to his own timeline. PLENTY of moving parts via angst and hurt/comfort and the idea of Stan & Ford's inner-teen getting healed a bit.

Teenage Challenges AU [may change the name later, idk]

This one is the longer thought-out au, so buckle in! 13 yrs old Mabel and Dipper end up back in time with teen Stan Twins. Early 1970s an entire year after the science fair incident & Stan getting kicked out. Dipper ends up with Stan, and Mabel ends up with Ford & college Fiddleford. Fiddleford is about a year older than Ford because I say so. Their dymanics with their future niblings are more like older siblings and younger siblings than uncles and nibling because of being closer in age. Reminder that everyone is still in their teen years. The young Stan twins are between 18-19, and Fiddleford is about 19-20. So, in this context, there's like a 5-6 year age difference between the Stan twins & Mabel and Dipper. ANYWAY: Stan thinks Dipper is some homeless kid and he can't just leave him on the street in the cold, especially not when he kinda reminds him of his brother. Dipper mentions just wanting to get back to his twin sister, and well that's hits Stan's heart because that sounds a bit like himself in regard to loyalty to family. On the other side of things, Mabel has this very broken Time Tape she needs to fix to get back home. She mentions needing to find her twin brother, and with the fact that she reminds Ford of his time's Stan, well he's conflicted with feelings but he does his best to help her anyway. Fiddleford and Mabel get along quite well, especially when Mabel suggests a few ideas for his death bots that he "may never use but keeps the blueprints for because he may snap one day" & Fiddleford thinks her ideas are genius. Ford starts to see a little of himself in Mabel with her optimistic outlook when it comes to discovery and circumstances. She's also pretty good at certain math stuff and Ford admires her intellect. There's so much more with this, but this is so long already.

There, it's a post now. Have fun! And if anyone wants to write something or draw something for these, feel free to do so! All I ask is that you tag me 'cause I wanna see it :D

[d0g-water]

Finding out you are pregnant and you are worried what Quackity's reaction was gonna be. But it ended up being wholesome

things got a little too intimate with alexis the other night...

honestly, you were being reckless. you didn't think about what'd happen if he filled you up after such a good fuck, your mind was too sex-hazed.

here you are, weeks later, flushing down your third round of throwing up, with a positive pregnancy test by your side-- only making things worse.

oh god, how would you tell him? you're both so young... you're in the middle of university, while he just graduated with an uprise in his career.

you might have to get rid of it... but you don't want to.

you and alex became one, you two loved each other so much something blossomed.

your tears drop onto the floor, as your phone is vibrating endlessly on the bathroom counter. you know it's alex wanting to know what's wrong...

he's your boyfriend, you have to tell him, even if it ruins the relationship...

you call him to come over, telling him you need to talk to him.

stuff like that scares him, so he's probably worried that you're going to abandon him like everyone else does, when it's the other way around.

he's going to leave you.

he's going to tell you that the baby isn't his.

he's going to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore.

it's going to be difficult raising a major part of him, but you'll manage somehow...

you hold your breath, your thoughts all organized and you know what to do, as he enters your house.

"hey, is everything okay, my love?" he asks, kissing your cheek as an arm wraps around you...

this feels different, you're not sure if he can feel it.

you respond with a hum, avoiding eye-contact him- you can't look at him. you'll cry.

as desperate as you are to see his pretty face, you don't want it to be the last thing you see when he leaves your life.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" he says lowly, his soft lips running against your skin, trying to get the words out of you.

a deep sigh leaves your system, knowing you have to take this risk or else you'll regret it more than actually telling him... you have to let him go, so you dig into the pocket of your hoodie, curling your fingers to hide the test, your hands moving to hold the sleeves of his shirt.

his movement stops, and he senses that you're hiding a really big secret from him.

he doesn't speak, seems like he's listening to you, even if it's just you breathing.

"i'm pregnant, alex."

your body goes cold, acting like you were him being told this for a second. you can't help but look at his face, breaking earlier's promise that his face won't be the last thing you see when he leaves. you can't help it. he's going to leave.

his eyes widen, mouth agape, and...

his face is pink.

"really?" his voice whispering, with his lips stretching... he's smiling.

you reply to him, "yes.."

is this a good reaction??? or???

"oh my fucking god." his smile only grows bigger, pulling away from you and forcefully opening your hand to take the test from you. he looks at it with the happiest face you've seen from him.

"no fucking way," he looks at you with shiny teeth and squinted glistening eyes, "we're going to be parents." he covers his face with his hand, giving the test back to you... he looks like he's about to cry.

you smile back at him, bringing him into a tight hug, hearing an "i love you so fucking much." come out of him.

"i love you so much, we're going to raise a child and.. get married.. dance at our wedding holding it." alex fantasizes outloud, his nose snuggling deeply into your shoulder.

you're filled with so much emotion, and you truly don't know how to feel. you're speechless, all you can say is "of course."

it's a promise...

you two are doing this together.

[lazylittledragon]

first makeup test for orin!! don't look at the wig i couldn't be bothered to glue it down

[oozeandgoo-art]

This is (vertically) pretty long; the rest is under the cut to save your dash.

Haven is a lot of things. An effective communicator isn't one.

This is very much intended to be Taran retelling the story of the time this happened to someone else, given the eight-thousand anachronisms and the level of comfort Taran has in talking to Haven. It's so specifically anachronistic in such a specific "I'm telling you a story and I don't want you to get bogged down in the inconvenient details" way that it got me to write 6000 words (and counting) of a stupid wip so I could justify this existing.

Bonus notes: Haven is specifically pretending to be asleep because he doesn't want to talk about the mess in the kitchen. Taran isn't remotely annoyed about that but he would like for next time Haven to come downstairs and say hi instead of putting on a shirt and then pretending to be asleep again.

[headfullof-ideas]

not necessarily NEW drawings, i was just going through my photo album for references for drawing, and wound up ADHD-ing and going through all my artwork to see what’s changed. And then i looked at all the facial expressions I’ve drawn Ant in, really liked some of them, and had to share. Some of these are ones I’ve already shared in drawings, but a number aren’t

Plus a few Adult Ants, and one from an AU i haven’t written anything for yet beyond drabbles and some conceptual scenes

[megumi-fm]

.

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]

robot cowboy!!!

[autumnhobbit]

would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist

[steakout-05]

i miss her everyday

[insufferablemod]

.

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?

d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~

-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')

BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3

i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!

okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!

as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )

tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.

PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.

i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too small…

please don’t meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.

it’s a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.

all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.

HYH.

-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.