#Like. This excuse probably holds water when talking about times before the internet

[timemachineyeah]

Gen Z is awesome and generational fighting is bad, but I do sometimes talk to Gen Z folks and I’m like... oh... you cannot comprehend before the internet.

Like activists have been screaming variations on “educate yourself!” for as long as I’ve been alive and probably longer, but like... actually doing so? Used to be harder?

And anger at previous generations for not being good enough is nothing new. I remember being a kid and being horrified to learn how recent desegregation had been and that my parents and grandparents had been alive for it. Asking if they protested or anything and my mom being like “I was a child” and my grandma being like “well, no, I wasn’t into politics” but I was a child when I asked so that didn’t feel like much of an excuse from my mother at the time and my grandmother’s excuse certainly didn’t hold water and I remember vowing not to be like that.

So kids today looking at adults and our constant past failures and being like “How could you not have known better? Why didn’t you DO better?” are part of a long tradition of kids being horrified by their history, nothing new, and also completely justified and correct. That moral outrage is good.

But I was talking to a kid recently about the military and he was talking about how he’d never be so stupid to join that imperialist oppressive terrorist organization and I was like, “Wait, do you think everyone who has ever joined the military was stupid or evil?” and he was like, well maybe not in World War 2, but otherwise? Yeah.

And I was like, what about a lack of education? A lack of money? The exploitation of the lower classes? And he was like, well, yeah, but that’s not an excuse, because you can always educate yourself before making those choices.

And I was like, how? Are you supposed to educate yourself?

And he was like, well, duh, research? Look it up!

And I was like, and how do you do that?

And he was like, start with google! It’s not that hard!

And I was like, my friend. My kid. Google wasn’t around when my father joined the military.

Then go to the library! The library in the small rural military town my father grew up in? Yeah, uh, it wasn’t exactly going to be overflowing with anti-military resources.

Well then he should have searched harder!

How? How was he supposed to know to do that? Even if he, entirely independently figured out he should do that, how was he supposed to find that information?

He was a kid. He was poor. He was the first person in his family to aspire to college. And then by the time he knew what he signed up for it was literally a criminal offense for him to try to leave. Because that’s the contract you sign.

(Now, listen, my father is also not my favorite person and we agree on very little, so this example may be a bit tarnished by those facts, but the material reality of the exploitative nature of military recruitment remains the same.)

And this is one of a few examples I’ve come across recently of members of Gen Z just not understanding how hard it was to learn new ideas before the internet. I’m not blaming anyone or even claiming it’s disproportionate or bad. But the same kids that ten years ago I was marveling at on vacation because they didn’t understand the TV in the hotel room couldn’t just play more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on demand - because they’d never encountered linear prescheduled TV, are growing into kids who cannot comprehend the difficulty of forming a new worldview or making life choices when you cannot google it. When you have maybe one secondhand source or you have to guess based on lived experience and what you’ve heard. Information, media, they have always been instant.

Society should’ve been better, people should’ve known better, it shouldn’t have taken so long, and we should be better now. That’s all true.

But controlling information is vital to controlling people, and information used to be a lot more controlled. By physical law and necessity! No conspiracy required! There’s limited space on a newspaper page! There’s limited room in a library! If you tried to print Wikipedia it would take 2920 bound volumes. That’s just Wikipedia. You could not keep the internet’s equivalent of resources in any small town in any physical form. It wasn’t there. We did not have it. When we had a question? We could not just look it up.

Kids today are fortunate to have dozens of firsthand accounts of virtually everything important happening at all times. In their pockets.

(They are also cursed by this, as we all are, because it’s overwhelming and can be incredibly bleak.)

If anything, today the opposite problem occurs - too much information and not enough time or context to organize it in a way that makes sense. Learning to filter out the garbage without filtering so much you insulate yourself from diverse ideas, figuring out who’s reliable, that’s where the real problem is now.

But I do think it has created, through no fault of anyone, this incapacity among the young to truly understand a life when you cannot access the relevant information. At all. Where you just have to guess and hope and do your best. Where educating yourself was not an option.

Where the first time you heard the word lesbian, it was from another third grader, and she learned it from a church pastor, and it wasn’t in the school library’s dictionary so you just had to trust her on what it meant.

I am not joking, I did not know the actual definition of the word “fuck” until I was in high school. Not for lack of trying! I was a word nerd, and I loved research! It literally was not in our dictionaries, and I knew I’d get in trouble if I asked. All I knew was it was a “bad word”, but what it meant or why it was bad? No clue.

If history felt incomprehensibly cruel and stupid while I was a kid who knew full well the feeling of not being able to get the whole story, I cannot imagine how cartoonishly evil it must look from the perspective of someone who’s always been able to get a solid answer to any question in seconds for as long as they’ve been alive. To Gen Z, we must all look like monsters.

I’m glad they know the things we did not. I hope one day they are able to realize how it was possible for us not to know. How it would not have been possible for them to know either, if they had lived in those times. I do not need their forgiveness. But I hope they at least understand. Information is so powerful. Understanding that is so important to building the future. Underestimating that is dangerous.

We were peasants in a world before the printing press. We didn’t know. I’m so sorry. For so many of us we couldn’t have known. I cannot offer any other solace other than this - my sixty year old mother is reading books on anti-racism and posting about them to Facebook, where she’s sharing what’s she’s learning with her friends. Ignorance doesn’t have to last forever.

[messers-moony]

Hate | A.G

Paring: Aidan Gallagher X Fem!Reader

Summary: Hate can get overwhelming but there’s always dark before the light.

A/N: Even if you don’t like Aidan Gallagher you should read this imagine, it holds a secret message :)

Life sucks, and sometimes it seems almost as if the world is out to get you. It’s probably the most demoting feeling a person could experience. Life isn’t easy, never is, and never was. 

Some days are better than others, but nevertheless, life can make life seem like a disaster. Being hated on is never a fantastic feeling. It’s probably one of the worst things to happen. 

To know you’re hated for being who you are or accidentally saying the wrong words. To celebrities is very rare to find a ‘non-canceled’ one. Every star has done wrong and are belittled because of it. 

One wrong sentence, one wrong word, one wrong syllable, and their career is in the drain. Years wasted on a job just to be belittled because of something accidentally said or implied wrong. 

People will do everything in their power to try and cancel a celebrity. It’s disgusting. Aidan Gallagher– a teenager at the age of seventeen, was definitely no stranger to hate. During his beginning of fame at the age of sixteen, it seemed like a trend to hate him. 

He had a multitude of followers, but that didn’t seem to balance the amount that hated him. No matter where he went or where he turned, there was a post about how heartless he was. How much Aidan didn’t seem to care. 

In retrospect, he shouldn’t listen or care about it. He knew who he was, and that should’ve been all that mattered. But it was almost as if everything came crashing down at once. Life seemed so messy, and leaving bed at times was so unappealing. 

It wasn’t depression per se, more like a sadness that hadn’t seemed to leave. Turning off the social media plate forms seemed like a drug he couldn’t rid of. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring himself not to open Instagram or YouTube. 

Everywhere, no matter where you looked, Aidan was getting belittled. It shouldn’t have mattered, and he knew that. His girlfriend knew that. Yes, his girlfriend. A girl named Y/n who was a nobody compared to him. 

A secret is what she was on the Internet. The public eye was too much for her, and she hated to see her boyfriend like this. She had suffered with this eternal sadness too, and it wasn’t pleasant. 

It’s like his eyes were in a constant state of watering, and his smile became rare. No matter how hard she tried, he couldn’t smile. Regardless, Aidan enjoyed having his girlfriend by his side. She knew that he just wanted her next to him more than anything. 

The silence was killing her. It seemed as if there was another moment of silence her insides would be ripped to shreds. The only time the silence was broken was when he would cry or sniffle. It was a rarity to talk to her boyfriend. 

That didn’t seem right. 

Los Angeles was a big city for the two teens. They were just kids. He’s just a kid. Using that as an excuse is valid as long as the kid learns from their mistakes as kids should. It’s when they don’t learn then it becomes invalid. 

No sixteen-year-old should feel so repulsed by the world. The way his heart-ached at night and wanted to beg for forgiveness. The way his eyes couldn’t seem to stop watering. The way he could leave bed anymore. He felt so empty, so numb. It was like everything he once worked towards had vanished. 

The only way to make it stop was to sleep or focus on something, and lately, that focus had become his girlfriend. He knew she was trying, and he appreciated it more than anything, but it couldn’t heal how hurt he was. It only seemed to numb it until she left his embrace. 

She became the safe place he needed. She was the rainbow after the storm, the diamond in the coal, and the light at the end of the tunnel. His heart seemed to ache less around her, and his eyes cleared up. The corners of his lips lifted just the tiniest bit around her. 

Most days, he’d lay on her chest while she played with his hair. She’d talk about her day and just random events to try to rid of the awful thoughts clouding his head. It worked and gave him something to focus on. 

His affection was rare towards her, but hers wasn’t towards him. She held him and kissed him. He always kissed back. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to give her affection because he did; it’s just that– he didn’t have the energy. 

Everything seemed to take everything out of him. Even if it was just getting coffee in the morning, after that, he couldn’t do anything else. It’s like all energy had left his body when he left his bed. He wasn’t like this. He was never like this. 

Aidan enjoyed being productive. He was never one to lay in bed all day, and it sucked feeling like this. His girlfriend was the same way. She hated staying inside all day and was always driven for an adventure which Aidan always had planned. So staying inside like this was a sacrifice she had to make to help him. 

The next few weeks were painful but were getting better. Aidan was able to leave the bedroom and at least make his own meals. Something his girlfriend had been doing for him, which made him feel awful. She was acting more like his mother than his girlfriend, but it was what he needed. 

Life soon got easier. He made a statement. He apologized sincerely, and at that point, there was nothing else he could do. Anyone else who decided to hate him had no good reason to. He admitted his wrongs and learned his mistakes. He vowed never to make them again. 

Months passed, and that seemed to do it. He was smiling again. The bed was no longer so appealing, and his eyes shined again. It wasn’t a miracle. It was healing– a process that took a multitude of months to complete. 

Suddenly everything seemed colorful once more. He was able to go on social media without seeing constant posts of hate and post without the influx of offensive comments. Those two things did still exist, but not in the consistent way they had before. 

Just like that, the light at the end of the tunnel was brighter than ever. He had finally reached the light, and no matter how hard it was, he wouldn’t take it back for the world because he learned so much. He got stronger and grew from it. 

[mviswidow]

my girlfriend’s got a gun

Fallon Carrington x Reader

Word Count: 2,185

Warnings: gun

Prompt: Maybe one where we're Fallon's girlfriend, but also at the same time her bodyguard/personal assistant to keep up a facade since she doesn't want anyone to know about the reader. - @another-fantasy-world​

Summary: Three scenes of Fallon and R dating.

“I don’t want to see that happening anymore. If I have to ask you again you’ll be fired,” Mr. Carrington said peremptorily. 

You nodded your head, clutching the iPad in your arms tighter to keep yourself from fidgeting, “Of course, Mr-”

“Excuse me?”

Your shoulders relaxed the slightest bit when you heard the voice of your girlfriend, her heels clicking on the floor until she was standing beside you, a few feet away, “Why are you trying to fire my PA?”

“Fallon, she comes out in almost every single one of the photos that the press takes of you. She is not your babysitter. It’s ridiculous, a quarter of the articles that have been written about you in the past five months have been speculating that the reason you broke up with Michael was because (Y/n) drove you apart and-”

“What is your point, Daddy?” Fallon challenged, her arms crossed. “She’s my personal assistant, her entire job is following me around.”

“Going to clubs, parties, and galas with you is not in her job description,” He said, jaw clenched and brow furrowed. “She doesn’t need to be there.”

You felt uneasy, the two of them talking about you as if you weren't even there.

“No, but I want her there. There’s no harm in befriending your staff,” Fallon said simply, eyebrows raised, as if she wanted him to argue with her because she knew she would win.

“Fallon-”

“I’m the one who gives her a paycheck, so it isn’t up to you. I’m not having this conversation again,” She left Blake with no room to say anything else, her eyes flicking to you for a moment. “(Y/n), go get me a coffee and come up to my room so we can discuss the schedule for this weekend.”

“Yes, Ms Carrington,” you nodded, taking your leave before either of them could say anything more to you or each other.

You made it to Fallon’s room five minutes later. You’d taken a bit longer in the kitchen because you had to bug one of the chefs so they would give you a croissant for Fallon.

You knocked on the door with your knuckles, waited two seconds, and then opened the door to see Fallon in one of the lounge chairs in the corner of her room, doing something on her phone, “You took a long time to get here,” She said without looking up.

“Sorry, I was getting you a croissant,” You walked over and placed the plate on the low table that stood in between the two chairs before taking your usual seat from when the two of you went over her schedule, on her bed bench that was at the foot of her bed.

Fallon slid her phone underneath one of her thighs and smiled softly at you as she took the plate into her lap so she could eat the baked good, “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” You shook your head with a small blush spreading on your cheeks from the way that she looked at you, unlocking your iPad and pulling up the schedule. “Your father has two meetings scheduled for you this weekend, one Saturday and one Sunday-” “Cancel the one on Sunday, he knows I don’t take more than one meeting during the weekend unless it’s urgent,” She interrupted before taking a bite out of her croissant.

“Okay, Sam requested that I add ‘go to the mall with Sam’ on your schedule, so I fit it after the meeting on Saturday, but of course, if you want it to be cancelled I can always do that. Steven asked that I make a dinner reservation for him, you, and Sam, for the Seafood Room on Saturday night-”

Fallon interrupted you, once again, with noises of protest as she tried to swallow the bit of croissant she had in her mouth quickly, “Not happening, you know Saturday night is our night.”

“I know, but you haven’t gone out to dinner with them in two months, and besides it’s almost Steven’s birthday.”

“I don’t care, cancel the reservation,” Fallon said sternly, placing the plate back on the table once she had finished crossing her legs at the ankles.

You sighed and nodded, “Alright, and finally, Sunday is the banquet for the children’s organization I told you about on Monday.”

Fallon’s eyebrows furrowed at the way you said it, “But?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go with you,” You bit the inside of your lip, nervous for the reaction she was going to have.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “You have to stop letting my father get to you.”

“He’s right though,” You shook your head, opening a tab to search up her name. “Look, there’s articles about us all over the internet.”

“When will you learn that I don’t give a damn about what the press says? I’ve been scrutinized by them since I was a child, I can handle it. I don’t care if they call me lonely and desperate or if they say that you’re trying to ‘befriend’ me for money or whatever it is they’re coming up with.”

“You read that one?” You asked, a wince on your features.

Fallon sighed, looking between your eyes before standing up and going to sit beside you, taking the iPad from your hands and putting it behind her so she could take one of your hands in her own, “Do the articles bother you?”

You bit the inside of your lip again, nervous habit, before speaking, “Kind of.”

“Okay,” Fallon nodded, trying to think of a solution. “I know you aren’t used to this stuff and keeping us a secret is probably really stressful for you... If doing this - us, is too much, I understand-”

You frowned and shook your head, tears pooling in your eyes at the idea of what she was trying to say, “No, I love you, I love us. Stupid articles are nothing, I can ignore them.”

“I don’t want you upset over this stuff, baby,” Fallon frowned a bit and reached the hand she wasn’t holding yours with up to cup your cheek, running her finger along your cheekbone. “Although I don’t exactly think you should be reading these articles, I know you do whatever you want, but if you read one that bothers you, you come to me and I’ll make the calls I need to get it taken down, okay?”

“Yes, darling,” You smiled softly and nodded, leaning into her hand.

Fallon smiled, “For now I rather enjoy no one knowing about us. It’s so private and I guess it feels more intimate in a way? But, I do eventually want to announce that we’re dating, so I want to tackle these issues now so you’re hopefully much more comfortable in the future.”

“Really?”

“Of course, baby,” She smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss you languidly.

You sighed into the kiss before she pulled away slowly and kissed the corner of your mouth before sitting back, “So, I’m either going with you, or I’m not going at all. It’s a shame that all those children will have to suffer the consequences of your decision,” She said, making a face.

You rolled your eyes, and ducked your head to hide your smile, “Fine, I’ll go, asshole.”

Fallon grinned and clapped her hands, she had known she was going to get her way, but was happy that you weren’t miserable about it, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my love.”

------

Your brow furrowed when you got a call from Fallon at around 5:30 while you were out running an errand for her. She was supposed to be in a late meeting with her father, Jeff Coulby, and a few investors for Carrington Atlantic, an odd and dangerous mix of people.

You answered the call and heard it connect to the bluetooth of the car, “Hello?”

“Can you come get me? Please,” Fallon asked, her voice sounding a bit shaky on the other line.

“Yes, of course, where are you?”

...

You pulled into a parking spot on the side of the road of the address Fallon gave you, “Okay, I’m here, babe. Can I hang up now?”

Fallon let out an ‘mhm’ and ended the call, and it took you 30 seconds to see her walking out from between two buildings towards your car, which you unlocked and waited for her to get into the passenger seat and close the door before you spoke.

“Are you okay?” You asked, outstretching your hand and tilting her head towards yours when she wouldn’t look at you.

“‘M fine,” She nodded, her eyes watering.

“Okay I get that you didn’t want to talk about it over the phone but don’t think for a second that I’m believing that crap. You look like a kicked puppy.”

She groaned and closed her eyes for a moment, “There were no investors. Just Daddy and Jeff-”

“Hold on, since when do they tolerate each other?” You asked, resting a hand on her knee.

“I don’t know but they apparently do now. Or at least, when it’s convenient,” You could almost hear her roll her eyes as you turned forward again to pull out of your parking space.

“What did they do?” You urged her on and took your hand off her leg to put it on the center console, but she quickly grabbed it and laced her fingers with yours before putting your hand in her lap.

“They cornered me about something I leaked to the press, not Crystal related this time, and- the whole thing was really embarrassing, I don’t really want to get into it right now.”

You squeezed her hand gently and nodded, “Okay, that’s perfectly fine. Though I have to say I had no idea you leaked something, I haven’t checked any articles in like, two days.”

Fallon chuckled, “Oh boy, just wait til you read these.”

------

“Screw you, I’m not going anywhere. I need to talk to you about the C-R-A-Z- why does the crazy lady have a gun?” Fallon asked, her jaw slack.

You were on your way to follow Fallon into the dining room, but stopped when you heard what was going on. You turned on your heel, quickly and quietly walking towards where you knew Fallon kept her gun.

“She’s not crazy, she’s been faking her brain injury,” Crystal replied calmly.

“Why fake such a miserable life? Actually- that’s a rhetorical question. I think I know exactly why. I think you’ve been faking lots of things.”

“Sit down,” Claudia said, gun pointed at Fallon.

“You never had a brain injury, did you Claudia?” Fallon asked, shaking her head.

“Of course I did, I almost died,” She said quickly.

“That’s true, she and Mathew were in a terrible car accident,” Steven interjected.

Crystal cut in, too, “I remember it.”

“I bet,” Claudia spat before turning her head back to Fallon. “That was the night I found out he was cheating on me, I just didn’t know who the other woman was.”

“All you knew was that one minute your husband was cheating, the next he wasn’t going anywhere because he had to take care of you, and then you got better,” Fallon said with a raised eyebrow.

...

When you got close enough again to be able to hear, you heard Fallon speaking, “Girls can be engineers, too, Dad. When I was a kid I told you I wanted to be one so you introduced me to Mathew, who told me his wife was an engineer. That was before your accident, of course.”

You smiled to yourself as you listened, God you loved her. You clicked the safety of her handgun off, just waiting for the right moment to come in.

“You killed him, you killed Mathew,” You heard Crystal say.

“No, I loved him. You killed him,” Claudia replied, which made you furrow your brow and you almost let out a scoff at how ridiculous this lady was. “He told me he was leaving me even though I was sick.”

“Even though you were faking it,” Fallon corrected.

“He didn’t know that. You took him from me, and once this snake ran me over, I saw my chance to do something about it-”

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” You said, stepping into the room, the barrel of the gun pointed straight at Claudia, using one hand to aim and the other hand used to steady the gun, just like Fallon taught you. “but I think you guys have let her pity party run for too long.”

And with that, Claudia faltered and you took your shot, shooting the gun right out of her hand before giving Fallon her gun, “I think this is for you.” Fallon smiled proudly and took it, taking her aim at Claudia, who was not left defenseless, “I wouldn’t try anything,” She said with a smirk once she saw Crystal pick up the gun Claudia had been pointing at her. “Not sure if you’ll be able to pull it off as well as you pulled off the brain injury.”

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Lost in Translation

*Lafayette x Reader

*Request: “ @thefluffypancake asked: ‘Hey could you do a Lafayette x reader where she’s learning French and she try’s to ask him out on a date but accidentally asks something else. If not, it’s okay! Have a great day! 💞💞’”

*Warnings: Language, my own personal issues with French as a language. Let me know if I missed anything!

*A/N: This request is so old and I’m so sorry for that. Also I kinda changed the request a bit to reader saying she wants to kiss Laf because that word-for-word translation is off and you’ll see in the fic.

Tip Jar

**********

French was definitely a made up, ridiculous language. While - as your friends always felt the need to point out - every language was made up, French was even more made up than anything else. And yet here you were, trying to learn French on your own just so you could ask out the Frenchie in your friend group. It was a stupid idea in hindsight, but you thought it’d be cute to just surprise him by talking to him and then asking him out in French. Turns out it was a lot harder than you thought it would be. When your initial plan didn’t work out, you could always count on your friends to fuck up in a way that would make things somewhat better. 

Apparently, John never got the memo to not tell Alexander you’d asked him for help with French, and Alexander never got the memo that you learning French was supposed to be a secret. He definitely didn’t get the memo to never bring it up in front of Laf (even though you were pretty sure you’d told John you were trying to learn to impress Laf), so he did exactly that when all of you were hanging out. You had just got back to the table, coffee in hand when Alexander opened his stupid mouth. “Hey, how’s learning French going?”

“I mean, that’s one way to greet me I guess,” you said, trying to ignore the heat rushing to your face. Nope, the best course of action would just be to avoid the conversation. “Like, I haven’t even sat down yet.”

“Wait, you’re trying to learn French?” Laf asked, looking at you in excitement. You could already feel your resolve weakening.

“I mean, I’m trying but it’s not working out so great. Turns out that Duolingo owl only cares about Spanish,” you tried joking, taking the empty seat next to him.

“Dude, you asked me for help,” John spoke up, like that would make the situation any better. It wasn’t your fault that French was an utterly ridiculous language. What language even needs that many vowels? 

“Not my fault you’re a shit teacher,” you shot back, deadpan but completely joking. Even though John looked offended, you knew he wouldn’t hold it against you. After all, you were his ride back home. It took John a second to bounce back.

“Nah, you’re just a shit student.”

“I mean, my grades aren’t gonna argue with you there,” you laughed, the tension finally easing up some. You were still gonna strangle Alexander later, but for now things were fine. For all of five seconds.

“Why didn’t you ask me for help?” Laf asked, stealing your coffee and taking a sip. You were quick to take it back from him, trying to think of an excuse that wouldn’t give away your true intentions. However, now that you thought about it, just asking him to help you learn French probably would’ve been the easiest course of action. Have lessons with him a couple times a week for a few weeks, ask him how you ask someone out in French, and then bam! hit him with the question. Why do I always make things more difficult than they need to be?

“I… actually, I don’t know. Do you think you could help me out?” You tried to ignore the impressed look John was giving you. Sometimes you hated the fact he was your best friend.

“Yeah, of course! I’m offended you went to him first,” Lafayette said, stealing another drink of your coffee.

“Dude, buy your own!”

“But yours tastes so much better,” he teased.

“Gross, can you guys get a room or something?” Hercules spoke up. “Actually, don’t. I forgot I share a room with Laf for a second.”

“And you just made it worse than it had to be,” Angelica muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Anyways, when are you free? It’ll be fun helping you learn,” Laf said, turning his attention back to you. “Just send me your schedule and we can set it up!”

“Yeah, sure thing,” you agreed after a second, trying not to seem too eager. You and Laf rarely hung out on your own, normally having at least one of your other friends there with you. You couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had been alone, let alone you not being awkward when it was just the two of you. You texted him a screenshot of your schedule, your heart already racing at the thought of getting closer to him. You could handle hanging out with him with other people, but alone was a whole different story.

“Great! This’ll be fun!” His bright smile was enough to take your breath away, easing your worries somewhat.

“Yeah, I can’t wait.”

“Okay, so back to me,” John redirected the conversation, making a face at the look you were giving Laf. You couldn’t help but laugh at his obvious attempt, gladly letting him talk about whatever project he was working on now. No, you needed to figure out how you were going to handle this.

**********

Considering it was the middle of the semester, it was difficult to find a time to meet up with Laf that worked for the both of you. You both had papers, midterms, and group projects to work on, but you were finally able to find some time to have a little French session. The first few sessions were accidental, happening when Laf happened to find you in one of the 24-hour libraries, way too late for anything to actually stick in your mind. You found yourself only focusing on the way he spoke French, which was way too attractive to be fair.

After you had a few more impromptu sessions, you were finally able to actually set something up with Lafayette. For once, the both of you had a Friday afternoon free, so you’d be able to see him when you didn’t look absolutely destroyed by assignments and projects. It was still early on into your changed plan, but you figured now was as good a time as any to make your move. You managed to convince John to leave the apartment for a few hours at least, not that he made it easy on you. With his incessant teasing, sometimes you wondered why you chose him to be your best friend and roommate. 

Once John was finally out of the apartment, all you had to do was set things up. You set out some snacks, not really knowing how to host other than offering people food, had some study materials set out because the two of you were going to work on some other assignments before you started with the French lessons. Things didn’t have to be perfect, but you were determined to make it as close as possible. You had a note on your phone for what you wanted to ‘ask’ Laf about, and you were ready. The only thing you needed was for Laf to show up.

As you waited for Laf to make his appearance, you decided to get some reading done for class. Well, you tried to. You couldn’t help you constant fidgeting, switching between tabs as though there would be a different internet on each one, checking your phone and scrolling through Twitter - you really had no idea how you were supposed to pretend that you were going to study when he got here. You knew it would be super obvious that your mind wasn’t 100% on your work. Before you could think about it any longer, there was a knock on your door. Holding yourself back, you waited a minute before getting up to answer it.

“Hey,” you said with a smile, acting like you hadn’t just been fretting over how you were going to get through this.

“Hey! You ready to study?” Laf asked, tugging on his backpack strap as if to prove he brought his work with him.

“Yeah! I’m set up at the table if you wanna just head over there.” You silently cursed how non-human that sounded. As soon as the two of you sat down, though, things got easier. Even as the two of you worked, you kept a small conversation going, making jokes about things you’d just read or were working on, telling stories about class. For the first time in a while, things were going just like they were when the two of you hung out with the group. Lafayette made it really easy for you to like him.

After a couple hours of the two of you working on your own things, Lafayette closed his laptop, getting your full attention. Laf leaned forward like he was about to let you in on some giant secret. “Are you ready to learn some French now?”

“Yeah, I wanna know what you, Alex, and John are saying whenever you go into French,” you teased.

“Non, that’s a secret,” Lafayette laughed, looking away. “Alright, let’s start.”

The session started out much like your impromptu sessions: Lafayette would say a common word or phrase in French, he’d ask you what you thought it meant, he’d tell you what it actually meant, and then you’d repeat it to him. He’d fix any mispronunciations, and you’d keep going until you got it right. This would go on for as many phrases or whatever until one of you decided to take a break. It was a nice little process and was definitely helping things stick in your mind more than when you tried learning on your own or with John.

You were the first one to call for a break, your heart pounding as you tried to figure out how you were going to do this. You wanted to ask him out soon, not willing to let yourself chicken out at the last second, especially since you knew John would talk so much shit if he found out you kicked him out and didn’t even ask Laf out. As you were in the kitchen, filling up your water bottle as an excuse, you tried to calm yourself. The worst that could happen would be things getting weird between the two of you, the best was the two of you would get together, so that meant reality would be somewhere in the middle. You took a deep breath before making your way back to the table.

“Ready to start again?” Laf asked, looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, I actually had something I wanted to ask you.” You took your seat next to him, grabbing your phone to double check what you had translated earlier.

“Go ahead.”

“So, uh,” you paused for a second, gathering the last bit of courage you needed. “Right, uh, what does je veux te baiser mean? Because, uh, je veux te baiser.”

Immediately, Lafayette looked away, drinking his water so he didn’t have to answer you. You could just tell something was wrong and felt your face heat up as you just looked down at your hands. When Lafayette finally spoke, you felt your heart drop. “I… I don’t think you know what you just said.”

You looked up, eyes wide. You knew French was tricky, but there was no way you messed up something that simple, right? You tried not to appear too flustered, but you knew it was a losing battle. “Wait, what did I say then?”

“I think I know what you were trying to say, but you didn’t say it.”

“So what did I say?”

“Okay, so direct translation was that, but what you said was, uh, you uh wanttofuckme,” he rushed out the last part, and it took you a second to process what he said. If you thought your face couldn’t get any hotter, you were wrong. 

“Jesus Christ, I am so sorry. I mean I really like you but I didn’t mean to say that and I’m so sorry, that probably made you really uncomfortable and I understand if you want to leave and-” You were cut off by his lips on yours. You quickly melted into the kiss, even though you still weren’t exactly sure what was going on.

“Je veux t’embrasser,” Lafayette said as he broke the kiss.

“What?”

“Je veux t’embrasser. That’s how you say I want to kiss you,” he explained.

“Je veux t’embrasser,” you repeated with a small smile.

“Good.” You were rewarded with another soft kiss. Maybe French wasn’t so ridiculous…

No, it definitely was. 

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness, @laic2299, @delaber

[mosswillow]

Jumping In (Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Warnings: 18+ adult content!!, Kidnapping, smut, Dark fic, vaginal fingering, noncon/dubcon, yandere.

Summary: You submit your application to the Avengers as a joke. You’re nowhere near qualified enough for the job. So why do they want you?

AN: A big thanks to @rayofdawnworld for commenting on “Your Room” that they wanted to know about the other Avengers. This one is (obviously) Steve and is happening chronologically before “Your Room.” You can read it by itself though!  I also have a story forming for Bucky in my mind so I’ll probably do him next. 

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life but you’ve always managed to get yourself out of it. It’s opened up opportunities for you and taken you all over the world. You put in the application for SHIELD almost as a joke, thinking there’s no way they would ever hire you, especially not to work with the Avengers.

The joke becomes serious when you get a call from Stark Tower offering you a job. You skim over the contract eagerly and sign it immediately, jumping on the opportunity to work your dream job.

After a whirlwind week you find yourself standing in the middle of a high tech training room surrounded by Avengers. Being around a group of people as powerful as the Avengers is intimidating to say the least. The contrast between you and them is stark and you feel your confidence slip trying to keep up with them. They all assure you that you’re doing great and they’re glad to have you with them. It feels like a little family and you get pulled in immediately. You find yourself gravitating to Steve, or maybe he gravitates towards you. He shows up everywhere you go, at the water fountain filling up his bottle, running at the treadmill next to you, stretching on the mat. He watches you spar with different Avengers, giving advice and words of encouragement.

“Keep that arm up Y/N.”

“I will, thank you captain.”

“Call me Steve.”

“Steve.”  You smile.

You spar with Bucky and try to ignore Steve's looks. You don’t know if you feel flattered or uncomfortable with the attention he’s giving you. You decide that he’s probably just trying to be friendly since it’s your first day.

It doesn’t stop though and you constantly find yourself in situations with Steve. He’s in the elevator with you or walking by your room as you’re leaving. You even bump into him at the grocery store.

A week later you open your door to see Steve waiting for you just outside your room. Your heart does a flip at the sight of him standing in front of you. His hair is damp and you try to control your mind from imagining him in the shower. His tight white shirt shows off his muscles, which doesn't help your wandering mind one bit. You shift your eyes away from him and chastise yourself. God, He smells good and you wonder what soap he uses. He gives a cocky half smile and takes a step toward you.

“Good job yesterday.” He says, moving in front of your line of sight.

“Thanks.” you smile and force yourself to look him in the eyes.

He puts his hands in his pockets and rocks on his feet looking nervous.

“I thought I could treat you to coffee?”

Your heart starts beating rapidly. Is he asking you on a date? Steve Rogers asking YOU on a date? It can't be that. The flirting has to be in your head.

“I’d like that,” You mirror him, putting your hands in your pockets. You realize too late that you don’t have pockets though and end up awkwardly rubbing your hands against your sides.  Steve lets out a chuckle and you cross your arms and laugh along with him.

You follow Steve to a nearby coffee shop and he orders you a drink. The two of you sit at a semi-private table in the back next to some barely cognizant university students who are furiously typing away on their laptops.

“How are you enjoying being part of the team?” Steve asks.

“I love it! Everyone is really nice.”

“Are you nervous for your first first mission?”

“A little bit,” you confess.

“I’ll be there with you, don’t worry.”

That was definitely flirting, you think. Captain America is flirting with you.

You smile and take a sip of your coffee. This is like a romance novel, a cute coffee date with a literal super hero. It comes to an end though when you notice a kid taking a picture of the two of you. Steve frowns and cocks his head towards the prepubescent photographer.

“I think we should head back before we get more fans.” Steve Says.

Steve does a silly pose for the kid as he passes by and pulls out a signed Captain America card. The kid stands stunned looking at you as you walk out of the shop. Steve puts his hand on your back and leans in.

“Sorry this was so short. We’ll have to go somewhere more private next time.”

“Don’t apologize! The coffee was amazing, thank you so much.”

It only takes twenty minutes for you to start getting phone calls. A picture of you and Steve is all over the internet. It looks very incriminating, Steve's arm on your back and him smiling close to your ear. You answer your phone and hold it away from your ear as your friend Amy yells at you from the other end.

“Captain America!” She screams over and over again.

“Are you guys dating now or...”

“No, he was just being nice.”

“The picture looks like he’s being a lot more than nice. Please hit that Y/N, if you don’t I’ll scream.”

“You’re already screaming.” you say with a laugh.

“Seriously though, I want to be invited to your wedding one day.”

“Amy! he’s hot for sure but he’s also kinda my boss and I’m not ready for anything serious right now.” The picture of you and Steve is still in your mind. You can barely take care of yourself and certainly aren’t ready for everything involved with dating Steve Rogers.

You hang up the phone and smile to yourself. You can’t believe how your life has changed so fast. One day you’re working security at a hotel and the next you’re working with the avengers and flirting with Captain America.

---

You shake your foot nervously on the way to your first mission. Your role is simple, in fact it's almost impossible to mess up. You’re nervous anyway though. Everyone tells you it’s normal for your first mission and you take deep breaths trying to calm down.

You exit the jet and make your way into town. Your only job is to distract your mark for five minutes. You check your watch and start your way toward your mark.

“Excuse me sir?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know a good breakfast place around here?”

It’s beyond easy. You keep the conversation up for five minutes and end it quickly. Steve gives you a pat on the back after, congratulating your successful first mission. It feels off. Anyone could do what you did. You’re nowhere near as skilled as the Avengers and don’t understand why you would be picked for the job.

“What’s wrong doll?”

“I just don’t feel like I’m really good enough to be part of this team I guess.”

“You’re more than good enough.”

“But you guys are so much stronger... and faster... and smarter.”

“We look for more than those things when picking recruits. Trust me, you’re exactly what I… We need.”

You feel a little better and push away your doubts.

---

The missions become harder after the first one but you’re still never put in direct danger. They say you need more training before taking on more dangerous roles and you agree. You’re not sure if you’ll ever improve enough though and it makes you guilty, like you’re taking up space in a team that someone else could have. As you start becoming more part of the group Steve starts coming onto you more. He takes you out several times and starts becoming more physically affectionate. You like Steve. Aside from being gorgeous he’s old school, bringing you flowers and opening doors. There’s Something about him that feels disingenuous and your gut prevents you from starting a serious relationship.

You meet a barista at the same coffee shop Steve took you to. He’s cute and you  decide to give him your number impulsively. He texts you that evening and you stay up late texting back and forth. The next day everyone stares at you as you stretch before your training. You’re not sure why until you notice Steve standing outside of his office.

“Y/N, can I see you in here please.” His voice is an octave lower than usual and a chill runs down your spine.

“Of course.”

Steve closes the door and motions for you to sit down.

“I’m aware that you’ve exchanged numbers with someone who is unapproved.”

You nod slowly, confused how he knows at all and why it’s a big deal.

“This is a huge security risk.”

“I already ran a background check on him.”

Steve sits on the edge on his desk and caresses your cheek.

“Why do you want to talk to this boy when you have me?”

You push his hand away.

“I mean, I like you Steve but I’m just not ready for the commitment yet, you know that.”

His eyes narrow and he looks at the hand you pushed away.

“I understand.” He says.

You stand to leave and he calls after you.

“Oh, and remember you have a curfew. I don’t want to have to reprimand you.”

Steve feels different, unhinged. You’ve only been late a few times and only by a few minutes. You push away your worry hoping it will get better. He’s probably just not used to feeling rejected. He’ll get over it.

---

“Y/N, don’t you dare enter that building.”

“There are still people inside Steve!”

“It’s too dangerous. Help is on the way, don’t do it.”

You rip the com out of your ear and run into the building. There’s smoke everywhere and you cover your face with your arm. You make fast work of reaching the blocked room, breaking the door in and letting the room of people out. You escort them out of the building and to safety.

“Thank you so much.” A woman says, hugging you.

“No problem.” You smile.

The building starts collapsing in front of your eyes and you watch it burn. You walk back to the jet, coughing and bruised and get checked out as soon as you land.

Steve waits for you outside of medical.

“What were you thinking Agent!”

“Not now Steve.”

“It’s Captain and yes now.”

You sigh.

“I was thinking, Captain, that I needed to get those people out and I was right.”

“And what would have happened if the building had come down on you? Help was coming and you had an order. You’re lucky your lungs are ok with the smoke you inhaled.”

You push Steve out of your way and walk towards your room.

“It was a risk I was willing to take,” you call back.

You reach your room and take a long shower, thinking about everything. As much as you want to fit in with them you just don’t. Something tells you that you need to quit. You need to get out of here and never look back. you decide that you’ll hand in a two week notice tomorrow.

The next morning you wake and dress quickly still feeling the same as the night before. You head to your door and turn the knob but find it locked.

“What the fuck?” you pound on the door but nobody answers. You pick up your phone to call for help. It won’t connect to the internet or call anyone. Your computer is the same way. As the day passes you start feeling more and more uneasy. They have to know by now that something is wrong with you. your voice is raw from yelling for help and your hands bloody and bruised from pounding on the door.

Finally, hours later you hear the click of your door unlocking. You open it to see Steve standing with his arms crossed on the other side.

“I was locked in my room.” you say in a quiet voice.

“I know, I locked you in.”

“What’s wrong with you? That’s insane Steve!”

Adrenaline rushes through your body and you start pacing. Everything is telling you to get out. This is not what you signed up for.

“I quit.” you say defiantly.

Steve rushes toward you, pinning you to the wall. None of your self defence training helps you. He’s so much bigger and stronger, trying to fight is a joke. You know your best bet is to stun him somehow and run but you can barely move.

“You can’t quit doll.” He brushes a hand down your body, giving your butt a squeeze. Your eyes widen in shock.

“I’ll report you.”

“To who?”

You start thinking, your eyes darting back and forth. He slides his hand into the front of your pants and rubs the bulge in his pants against you. your breath hitches and you relax your body a bit. You scream at yourself to do something. The hand in your pants rubs against your clit expertly and it takes everything you have not to let out a moan.

“Ah, I see you’re getting it.”

His finger slides to your entrance and he prods you before submerging his finger. You gasp at the intrusion and realize that he’s barely holding onto you anymore. Your hands grasp his shoulders and you lean against him.

“This would have been much easier if you had followed my plan. You had to go putting yourself in danger.” He chides.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please you’re scaring me Steve.” you say,

“It was going so well but you’re unpredictable, flirting with that barista.”

He pushes his finger in deeper and you whimper.

“If I don’t take action now I might lose you and I can’t lose you.”

“Get away from me,” you beg.

He grasps your hip painful tight.

“You're my girl now, ok? My girl doesn’t disobey me, especially not on missions.”

He pumps his finger, coating it with slick.

You realize that he won’t listen to reason but you try anyway.

“I’m so sorry you’re right I’m your… your girl, just let me go please.”

He pulls his finger out and gives you a kiss.

“See, there’s a good girl.”

He pulls a ring out of his pocket and places it on your finger. His watch vibrates and he looks at it before kissing you on the cheek.

“We can celebrate tomorrow.” He winks.

He leaves you in the hallway and you back into your room, shaking and crying.  You don’t care if he locks you in again. You need to be in a place where you feel somewhat safe and can process everything that just happened. You take the ring off and throw it across the room.

The night is spent curled in your bed crying and the next morning you walk self consciously to the kitchen. Bucky sits at the counter eating cereal and he knits his brow when he sees you.

“Hey, what’s wrong.”

You shake your head.

“You can tell me.” He looks at you with his big kind eyes and you decide to confide in him.

“Steve… assaulted me. He’s out of his mind, saying all sorts of crazy stuff. I don’t know what to do.”

Bucky holds you close.

“You’re his girl Y/N, don’t provoke him and you’ll have a good life.”

You tear yourself away and look at him with disbelief.

“It’s not a secret Y/N and we’re on Steve's side.”

You back away and head straight for the exit hitting Tony on the way

“Woah, what’s the rush?”

“I quit.” you say, tears starting to fall.

“You can’t quit princess, you’re Steve’s.”

Your breaths become shallow and your head starts feeling light.

“How did you think you got the job in the first place Y/N?”

You run to the elevator slamming the button over and over but it won’t let you down.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” Thor walks over.

“She’s having a hard time adjusting to being Steve’s,” Tony answers.

“Let me out.” you yell.

Steve comes out of nowhere catching you in his arms and you throw your head back and duck. He stumbles back. Other Avengers start to gather and you pull your fists up in defense.

“I want to leave.”

“Come with me back to your room doll, it doesn’t have to be this hard.”

You stand your ground and Steve goes into a fighting stance. You don’t even have a chance, he has you trapped in his arms within minutes.

“I don’t understand.”

“We got your application in the mail. As soon as I saw your picture I knew you were the one I’ve been looking for.” he coos.

“Why go through the whole facade?”

“Use your brain Y/N. Everyone knows we’re together. There’s pictures of us everywhere online. You’ve talked to friends and family about our relationship. It won’t look weird when you drop off for a while because of your job and when you come back engaged nobody will blink an eye.”

“No.”

You look at the Avengers, you’re family. None of them do anything to help you. Every single one turns their back and walks away nonchalantly like it’s just another normal day.

Steve drags you to your room and closes the door. He walks over to where you threw your ring grabbing it off the floor, and places it back on your finger.

“This doesn’t come off again,” He says.

You look at the ring and back at Steve over and over trying to make sense of all of it. Steve walks purposefully to the drawer you keep your candles and lights several, placing them around the room.

He backs you into the bed and undresses you slowly and meticulously. He sits back and looks at your naked body, taking his time touching and examining every piece. He grabs your legs and parts them, looking at your pussy and two fingers in.

“So wet for me already.”

You shake your head and he lands a slap on your thigh.

“No.” He commands.

“Be good so I don’t have to punish you. You’ve seen me work, you know what I’m capable of.”

You bite your tongue and force yourself to lie still as he slams his cock into you. You cry out in pain and he rubs your arm and whispers sweet things. He kisses you as he pushes his cock deep into you. He grabs your chin and squeezes until you open up and let his tongue in.  you reach out and grab his arms and he pulls at your leg until you hug them around him.

“You can come Y/N.” he whispers

You shake your head.

He reaches between you and pushes against your clit. You fight against it for as long as you can but it becomes too much. An orgasm crashes over you and you flutter around his cock. He thrusts hard enough that you get pushed into the headboard and seconds later he’s coming in you. He smiles down at you, lovingly stroking you face.

“I love you Y/N”

You stay silent and he pulls you into a constricting hug.

“Don’t worry doll, you’ll love me soon.”  

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life. You’ve always been able to get yourself out of it,

but this time.

This time you jumped too far.

[glassartpeasants]

The Test

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, death, mega angst, pregnancy, premature birth, this hurt to write but thats okay

Gotta get the sad vibes out of thy body. Lets all be sad together

~~~

‘Okay, It’ll be okay. Just tell him! He’s your husband for christ sakes!’ You thought as you paced back and forth inside your room. You were afraid. You loved your husband you really did but sometimes he even made you afraid. 

Kai barely showed his emotions and when he did it was a miracle. Hell you barely just started getting intimate. You’ve only had intercourse 2 times you’ve guys been together. You’ve guys been together for 4 years. You understood his dislike of germs, and you never wanted to make him uncomfortable. So you just kept your wishes for intimacy to yourself. 

His kisses or hugs were almost just as rare as sex. You would tell him you loved him and he’d grunt back at you. You knew it was his language of saying i love you back but sometimes you just wished he’d say it back. You were only human after all. You wished for attention and some sort of love contact.

The last time you guys had sex he wore a condom. You didn’t mind really, it’s not like you were trying for a baby. But out of all the times that the condoms could have failed you,

This was the day of absolute fuckery.

You glared at the positive pregnancy test, hoping it would just disappear. But unfortunately problems like this don’t just disappear. So which leads to where you are now, a woman who is absolutely fucked if she can’t figure out a way to tell her husband she’s pregnant.

“Come on (y/n), you’ve got this. It can’t be that bad right?” You say trying to convince yourself. Kai was very difficult when he wanted to be. So what if he thinks you cheated on him?! You’d be killed on the spot! You wouldn’t be able to even explain, he probably won’t even let you. He had a habit of taking over you.

You sat on the bed as you rubbed your eyes. Trying to hide the tears that threatened to spill. You cried into your hands. This shouldn’t be so hard. He’s your husband. Then why were you so afraid? Was there a possibility that you could tell him without speaking? But how would you-

-the internet

You jumped from your spot on the bed and grabbed your personal computer and began looking at mom websites. Cool pregnancy ideas to tell your husband. You clicked on the link and saw the best ideas there. Get a mug and put the words you're pregnant at the inside of the bottom of the cup. Nah. Gift him baby clothes and let him put the puzzle pieces together. No thats stupid. Get a teddy bear and sew him holding a present, put the test in there and give it to him. Ah fuck it why not?

So from that search alone you RAN out the door and near the closest place where they had teddy bears and presents. You ran as fast as your legs could endure. Whipping your head from aisle to aisle. Looking for the fuzzy stuffy.

You go to the baby aisle and see the best teddy for the job. You quickly grab it as you go to the next aisle for the present. You had picked out a small box that would just fit the test. You smile as you jump up and down in joy. You didn’t know when you became so giddy. Not even an hour ago you were stressed to the point of wanting to hit your head against the door. You take a deep breath in before turning on your heels to pay.

~~~

1 Day Later

You looked at the teddy bear in your hands while sweating. What happened to confident (y/n) yesterday? Oh yeah she left when she had a fight with her husband, a bad one at that too. It was really bad. But you couldn’t stop now. You had to tell him. Better sooner than later. You take a deep breath as you hugged the teddy closer as you let out a sigh. Looking at Kai’s office door you let your hand let out a fragile knock. 

“Come in.” You slowly push the door open, looking in, you see Kai with two of his henchmen. Chronostasis and Nemoto. You didn’t talk to them much but you guys had pretty civil conversations.

“Kai I need to talk to you, without them here please?” You say as you try to stand your ground. You don’t really want your husband's friends to know what’s going on in your guys personal affairs.

“Fine. Chrono, Nemoto, leave.”

“Yes boss.” They leave the room just leaving you and your stonic husband.

“What do you even want?” He says in a voice that makes you question doing this but you go up to him and hand him the teddy bear. Your face beet red as you try to figure out his emotion. Especially when he opened the present.

“Is this a positive pregnancy test?” He says in an emotionless manner, but you couldn’t help but hear the bit of anger in his voice as well.

“Yes, I don’t know what you want to do or-”

“You cheated on me?” Wait what the fuck?

“What! How could you say that!” You say in offense. 

“I wear protection, woman! There's no way I could have gotten you pregnant!”

“Condoms aren’t even 100% effective! It could have busted or had a whole in it!” You yell back. You were offended. You were his wife, how dare he accuse you of such an act! Considering he was so interested in medical things you would think that he would know that condoms aren’t 1005 effective!

“You slut! I give you everything and you go out and cheat on me!”

“I didn’t fucking cheat asshole! God after years of being with you, your immediate reaction was I’m cheating?! Why am I with you if you don’t even trust me!”

“Leave this house! We’re over!” 

“Are you fucking serious?! You won’t even consider it!” You scream at him.

“Leave or else!” His ember eyes looking at you with the intent to kill. You knew that if you wanted to live you had to leave. Tears rush down your eyes as you turn around quickly before swinging open the door. You turn around to him one last time before screaming at the top of your lungs

“I can’t believe I married a cold hearted monster like you! I hope you die alone!” And with those words, you left. Never stepping foot inside that base as long as you lived.

~~~

5 Months Later

“This sucks actually ass.” You growl as you walk around your apartment. It wasn’t the best but it would do for the time being. You got it cause your friend was friends with the owner. All you had to do was take care of the garden they had outside. They wanted to make it eye catching so more people would move in. 

Understandable.

You held your stomach as the urge to pee came over you. Due to the fact a literal baby is growing inside you, it's pushing against your bladder. Kinda rude. You're carrying this baby and it's just gonna do you like this? That’s some bullshit man.

You groan as you continue to sweep your hardwood floor in your small living area. It was much better than living with Kai I guess. You never wanted to see his stupid gorgeous face again.

You look up at the area around you, admiring your work on cleaning the entire apartment. You smirk to yourself before feeling a kick in your stomach. You hold your stomach as you take a breather. Looking back up you notice a familiar golden shine coming from a little dish you kept by the door where you put coins in. 

Walking towards it you notice that its your old wedding ring from you old marriage. You guys never really got divorced so it was still official by law. Annoying yes but you didn’t want to even be in a room with that bastard.

Grabbing the ring you look at it and think how much it would be worth. A final fuck you to the mind that shattered you heart. 

Grabbing it and putting on a coat you start walking out the door and head out the door. Going to a pawn shop around the corner. You would be able to get a little extra cash for the baby.

~~~

“Yes sir I would like to sell this ring.” You place the ring on the counter and slide it over to the employee. His eyes widen as he motions you to come closer.

“This is a yakuza style ring. A Shie Hasssakai kind of ring. Where did you get this?” The man said. He sounded like he was worried. 

“Oh my shit husband gave me this when he proposed to me. Then kicked me out saying I cheated when I told him I was pregnant. Like sorry that a condom is not 100% effective.” You say soundly. The man looks at you with wide eyes. You didn’t really care at the moment because the feeling of lightheadedness was weighing you down. 

“Ma’am are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Before you could say anything you felt a wet feeling coming from in between your legs. Looking down you see that your water broke.

“MA’AM SHOULD WE CALL 119?!” You shook your head up and down before falling down on the ground, the world seems to be growing black around you.

~~~

Ring ring ring

“Hello?”

“Yes Overhaul sir? This is the guys from the pawn store downtown, we have a ring that seemingly belongs to your ex wife.”

“And you're calling me why?”

“Uh...because she was just carried away in an ambulance. She didn’t look very well, boss. My girlfriend had her kid recently and she wasn’t near as sickly looking as she was.” Overhaul couldn’t help but have his chest tighten up a bit. His heart was beating faster and he could feel it. 

“Do you want to know the hospital she’s at Overhaul?”

“Not right now.” Before Kai could even think about what he was doing he hung up the phone and moved his wrist back to the papers. You cheated on him, you’ll be fine. He rolled his eyes but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the sinking feeling in his stomach. 

Like if he had just made a mistake he would live to regret.

~~~

Kai ran as fast as he could towards the hospital where you stayed. They had sent him a call asking him to come down so he could see his kid. When he said that it wasn’t his, they told him that the DNA matched up perfectly with his. 

Kai felt a painful sting in his chest as he got closer and closer to the hospital. He was thinking on all the ways to apologize to you. And if his pride would allow him to apologize. 

His head rang with the words of what the doctor told him,

***

“Is this Kai Chisaki?”

“Yes it is, why?”

“Well we have you as an emergency contact for miss (y/n) (l/n).”

“Take me off.”

“Excuse me sir?”

“I said take me off.”

“Well I can’t take you off when we called you to tell you that your wife is in critical condition.”

“What?!” Kai tried to not show much worry but he couldn’t help it. No matter how much he told himself that he didn’t love you, thoughts of your smile rushed back into his head. Your laugh. Your everything calmed him down. You were his angel. 

“Unfortunately her water broke early, leaving her to have an early birth and her body was not able to handle it. Your daughter, who we did a dna test on is in the ICU (intensive care unit). Her being born 2 months early is having complications breathing.” Kai couldn’t say a world before he rushed out of the door and into your hospital,

***

He burst through the hospital doors and walked up to the nurse as he panted from running. A look of desperation in his golden eyes.

“Where is my wife and daughter? Mrs. Chisaki?” He said in a moment of panic. He hated the look that the nurse gave him as she told him where to find your room. Before he could run into your room a doctor stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

“I’m sorry to inform you sir but, the complications your daughter had to breath were to severe. We couldn’t save her. I’m deeply sorry.” Kai looked at the doctor. Not wanting to believe a word he had just said. He felt his hands tremble as he grabbed the doctors shoulders. Tears streaming down his face,

“What about (y/n)? Is she okay at least?!” Desperation in his voice. He can’t lose you. He already lost his daughter that he refused to believe was his, now to late to say hello or I love you. He had to see you. Just to hear you sweet voice at least one more time-

“I’m sorry Chisaki. She was pronounced dead 5 minutes before you came in.” No, no. He refused to believe it. He ran to your room, praying you were still here. You needed to be here. He needed to say he was sorry. That he loved you.

once he burst through your room door his worse fears were confirmed, and what the doctor was true. You no longer a heartbeat monitor. Your chest never moved to show some sort of breathing pattern. Kai ran to you holding your face in his hands. He put your forehead to his as his tears landed on your lashes.

“Please...wake up. I’m begging you. I already lost our daughter, I can’t afford to lose you to. Please my angel. Come back.....” Kai grabbed your limp body and pulled you close to his chest, shaking as he started sobbing uncontrollably. His whole world seemed to stop as he felt his only sort of light in his life be blown out. He cried into your neck as he collapsed onto his knees.

“Please, I don’t wanna be alone.”

[insomniamamma]

“Surf City Goodness”: Ezra x F!reader w/Cee

A/n: This is the same AU as “Ferris Wheels Are for Old People” and “Liminal” but you don’t have to read those to read this one. Ezra loses his arm in an automobile accident which kills his brother, Damon and orphans his niece, Cee. Reader lives across the street from Ezra and they’ve been friendly for sometime but now it’s something more. Set after  “Ferris Wheels Are For Old People” This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ ‘s Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of sex. Mentions of drug abuse.  Mentions of traumatic injury/surgical scars. Mentions of Reader’s ex.  Cee needs her own warning, but mostly this is just fluff. Ez and Cee and Reader enjoy a trip to the beach. I will include some songs from Cee’s playlist at the end.

          Iggy Pop's voice warbles out of the speakers. "I wanna go to the beach, I don't care if it's decadent, I don't know where my spirit went, but that's alright..."          "This seems a bit bleak, Birdie," says Ezra.          "Quit your griping, you'll get your surf city goodness soon enough," says Cee and grins. Part of the deal they've worked out is that Cee gets to pick the music for any road trip longer than two hours, otherwise it's NPR until the signal fades and then whatever classic rock they can pick up. The three of you are crammed in the cab of Ezra's battered Ford Ranger. Cee is the smallest so she sits in the middle. The truck's bed is full of gear, air mattresses and sleeping bags and towels, a cooler filled with food and another filled with beer. I don't know what conditions we'll find exactly, Ez told you, We haven't been back here in some time.          "If there's spiders I'm sleeping in the truck," you said and Ezra smiled, and pressed his remaining hand over his heart.          "Never fear, Sunshine, I will protect your from our arachnid friends."

         "Hey Sunshine!" Ezra calls from his front porch. You look up from your laptop to see Ezra and Cee laden with grocery bags.          "Hey, Ez, you need a hand?" He smirks. This is an old joke between the two of you. When Ezra first came home, with Cee and without his arm, they were unloading Cee and Damon's things, bags and boxes and you, without thought had asked if he needed a hand, it just came out and you'd clapped your hands to your mouth, and then spluttered, I'm so sorry I didn't mean--and Ezra laughed, of course I need a hand. I'm down to just the one.          "Always," he says. You loop the plastic bags over your arms, sweating packages laden with ground beef and bratwursts and chicken thighs.          "You all having a party?"          "We're going to the beach," says Cee. "You should come with us. It'll be fun."            "Jesus, Cee," he mutters and then collects himself and smiles, "I had meant to ask you before this one jumped the gun-"          "It's fine. Really."          "You still working remotely?" asks Ezra.          "For now. There's some talk about keeping my department remote."          "Good thing or bad thing?"          "Good thing," you say, "I like working in my pajamas."          "Good thing because you could come with us," says Ezra.          "Ez--"          "I'm dead serious," he says, "Cee's got a four day weekend. We've got decent internet. Damon saw to that before...well, before. Mind you, this will probably be something of a working vacation. Ma's house has stood empty sometime. Damon used to keep it up but..." Ezra trails off. It's a small town. Damon's drug problems were more or less public knowledge. You think of the files you still need to edit, but for once you're ahead of the game. None of that is due until midway through next week. You've got some wiggle room if things go south.          "Yeah? Yeah, fuck it. I'm coming with." Ezra smiles wide, revealing his dimples. And that's how you end up in the cab of Ezra's beat-to-shit truck listening to Cee's fun and somewhat baffling playlist.

         "Talk to me, baby,I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh, Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy, I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean..."          "Is this a parody?" Asks Ezra, "Like a Weird Al Yankovic thing?"          "No," says Cee, "It's an actual song. One of the Jonas brothers did it."          "Someone greenlit and recorded this on purpose."          "Yep."          "A song. About eating cake on a beach." Cee gives you a sly look.          "It's a metaphor, Ez," she says, "They're eating something but it's not cake." You have to hold in a laugh, watching the gears in Ezra's brain grind, watching his eyes go big.          "Ohmygod! Cee!" Cee cackles and you snort laughter. "You are fifteen years old! You are a minor child! You should not be going there! You should not even know that there exists!" Ezra's cheeks go red. Cee is wheezing, eyes screwed shut with laughter, her own cheeks flaming, "You. Should see. Your face," she says.          "It's not funny!"          "Oh, it's funny," you say, "She got you good."          "Come on, Ez," says Cee, "You think I can't recognize a poorly veiled sexual reference when I hear one? It doesn't take a genius--"          "You are a terror," says Ezra, and Cee grins, proud of the title, "And you--" he arcs and eyebrow in your direction--"Are not helping matters." You give him your brightest smile.          "What can I say? I thought it was just a song about some goofballs eating cake by the ocean." He huffs, but you can see the smirk creeping up his cheek as he drives.

         The house at the end of the driveway is small, a cottage really, single storied and built up on stilts like the others around it, painted a faded robin's egg blue with white trim. The garage is underneath the house, room enough for one car and next to it is a room built to shelter the water heater and plumbing. A wooden staircase snakes up to a deck that wraps the entire structure. Sea grass sprouts in clumps from the sand. It's hot inside, a stale heat, and the first thing you do is open all the windows.          "I think there's a couple box fans in the storage space," says Ezra, "I'll go fetch them."          The back deck overlooks the ocean, pale expanse of sand and the gentle lap of blue-green sea, a wooden staircase reaches down to the sand below. The day is bright and hot and shot through with high cirrus clouds. You and Ezra have stripped the sheets from the beds and popped them in the washer, loaded the dishwasher, put fans in the windows.          "This is cleaner than I expected," says Ezra, "Maybe Damon cared more than I gave him credit for." Ezra's face clouds. You take his hand, squeeze his fingers in yours. You know little about Damon other than the town gossip and what Ezra himself has told you. You don't understand the convolutions of their relationship, you just know that Damon is a slow-healing wound, and that it does Ezra no good to pick at it. You tug at him.          "C'mon. Let's get changed. Cee's already got her suit on."

         "Turn around, Birdie, let me get your back." Cee rolls her eyes but does as she's asked. Ezra sprays sunscreen across her bony shoulders and rubs it in.          "I found a boogie board under the deck," says Cee, "And some toys from when I was real small. I found those floaty things you all used to put on my arms, remember those?"          "I do," says Ezra, "Damon chucked you into the surf without so much as a by-your-leave. It scared the hell out of Ma but you laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You're good to go, Little Bird."          "Thanks, Ez." And she's down the stairs, heading towards the surf.          "Your turn, Sunshine," he says and you turn your back to him. He presses a kiss against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, that one place that makes you squirm and shiver, right on the line between erogenous and ticklish.          "Menace--" you say and then squawk when the cold spray hits you, soothed by the passage of his calloused palm across your shoulders, gently gripping the nape of your neck, and you lean back against him briefly, relishing his solidity, his warmth, his hand rests lightly on your hip.          "Let me get your back," you say. Ezra turns his back to you and shucks out of his t-shirt. He's already ditched his prosthetic arm. Don't know how seaworthy it is, he'd said, as expensive as it was I don't care to find out. You shake the can of sunscreen and blast him with it.          "Christ! That's cold!"          "We gotta make sure Cee reapplies after a couple hours," you say, smoothing your hands over his broad back, relishing the slide of his tanned skin beneath your palms, "She'll burn to a crisp otherwise." You press your fingers into the tight muscles of his neck and he makes a contented sound like a purr in his chest.          "You're always so tense right here," you say and dig your fingers in, feeling the thrumming muscles loosen somewhat under your touch. Ezra leans back into you as you did to him moments ago, your arms snake around his shoulders, tuck your face against the side of his neck. This thing with you and Ezra is soft and languid and you're not sure how to define it. This is not the fevered, clawed territory of young lovers, the sort of push and pull you had with your ex, the idea that love had to keep proving itself somehow. With Ezra there is nothing to prove. He seems content to ride this gentle wave, to let things play out in their own time.          "Turn around," you murmur against his skin, "Not done with you yet."          "Now, I am perfectly capable of applying--" he starts, but you see his eyes drop, and know it for what it is. You've known Ezra for a while. The two of you were always friendly, since you moved in across the street from him. Ezra before was even more exuberant, had a swagger about him, confidence in his own skin that is only just now trying starting to return. Ezra before would preen under your gaze if he caught you looking at him while he repainted his deck or put down mulch in his garden, Ezra now shrinks from your eyes. You can see the self-doubt seep in. The worry about his scars, that the loss of his arm makes him less, somehow.          "I know," you say, "Maybe I just want an excuse to get handsy." He arcs an eyebrow at you, that brief flash of doubt replaced with his more familiar smug smirk.          "Well, have at it, by all means," he says. You spray him with the sunscreen and start rubbing it in, smoothing over his freckled shoulders, down his upper arms, mindful of the tender skin at the end of his stump, the dips of his clavicles, his broad chest, littered in angry pink scars that shout in contrast to the rest of his skin. Punched indentations along his ribs where they'd stuck in tubes to drain the air and blood out of his collapsed lungs. You work your way down along his soft belly and back up his sides, a hissed intake of breathe and you stop.          "Does that hurt?"          "Nah. Tickles."          "Mmm-hmmm. I'll have to remember that so I can use it to my advantage later."          "Oh and I'm the menace," he says, his arm curls low around your hip, pulling you nearly flush with him, and you complete the motion, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him tight against you, your chin notched over his shoulder. Cee is creeping up the stairs with a battered plastic bucket in her hands. She shoots you a grin and you know exactly what she has in mind. You back up a little, cup Ezra's stubbled cheeks in your hands and kiss the tip of his nose.          "Surprise," you say and take a big step back. There's just time enough for that little furrow to start between his brows and then Cee dowses him, a whole bucket of seawater poured directly over his head. He splutters. His eyes go big and round. Cee is doubled over laughing.          "Oh," he says, blinking salt water out of his eyes, "Oh that's it. Today's the day, Cee! I am going to drown you!"          "Gotta catch me first, old man!" says Cee and pelts down the beach. You run after them, their bright laughter peals through the warm summer air. Ezra grabs Cee and dunks her into an oncoming wave. She emerges splashing great fans into Ezra's face.          "It is only proper that I took my vengeance," says Ezra, holding his hands out to deflect the spray.          "I don't think the Geneva conventions apply here, you douche-canoe," says Cee.          "Oi! That language--" This is your opening. You grab Ezra around his waist and push off backward into the oncoming wave, pulling him down with you. The two of you come back up, coughing and laughing, arms slung around each other. There's no shadow in Ezra's eyes now, you press your lips to his, the waves roll over you, the tide dragging at your bodies while you and him remain still. Press of your lips to his, your tongue licks out and tastes salt on his lips and he opens for you, his hand cupping the back of your head, guiding you against him, his tongue stroking against yours, no battle for dominance, this, just the plush heat of his mouth, the heave of your chests when you finally break apart, waist deep in the ocean.          "I--" says Ezra and Cee's splash hits at face level.          "Gotcha!" she crows, and starts running.          "You miserable little rat!" He hollers, chasing her through the surf. You stand hip deep in the water and laugh. You're not sure what you and Ezra are to each other. Lovers? Friends? Family? Whatever it this is, it feels right and good. It feels like being home.

A/n: Here is a sampling of Cee’s beach trip playlist:

“I Want To Go To The Beach” by Iggy Pop

“Telstar” by The Tornados

“Cake By The Ocean” by DNCE

“Rockaway Beach” by The Ramones

“Misirlou” by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones

[feral-dumbass]

Funny You Should Ask

James “Bucky” Barnes/ Female Reader

Summary: The longer Bucky knife trains with you, the more sexually frustrated you get. Bucky is more than willing to help you with your problem.

Includes: Knife kink, Clothes being torn, Choking, Oral, Dirty Talk, Degradation, Unprotected sex, Size kink (you can’t convince me that Bucky’s not packing)

Words: 3,151

A/N: Hi, it’s me again. Helping to spread filth on the internet. Do I need to warn about public sex even though no one’s around? Either way y’all fuck on a counter in the common kitchen area. Title credit to The Front Bottoms. No need to listen to the song. Finding songs that somehow fit with my writing makes it easier to post. Tagging @babybluestan​ and @gagmebucky​. 

Masterlist 😊

Bucky Barnes is shirtless right in front of you and you can’t do anything about it. That teasing son of a bitch is only wearing black cargo pants and his tactical boots. An interesting choice of outfit, but you’re not complaining. 

On a lazy Sunday, Bucky tries to teach you self defense with knives. He even got you your own knife. Expecting you to carry it around everywhere when you’re only at the compound and your apartment is a little extreme, but you’ll talk to him about it. Maybe after a blowjob. 

Bucky’s stance is defensive, tilted away from you. One boot facing you and the other facing where Nat and Sam are lifting weights. His favorite knife is sheathed in leather pointing away from his chest. He’s smirking. His free hand is motioning for you to come at him. 

You blow a tendril of hair out of your face before you attack him. You go in with your knife over your head. Bucky blocks with his forearm. In your attempt to drop your knife into your other hand like he’s done so many times before, Bucky intercepts your knife. This is the third time he’s done this. You’re starting to get frustrated in more ways than one. 

Bucky flips your knife so the handle is facing you and holds it out. Stuck on the same move for the past thirty minutes. He won’t let you move on. You hyperfocus on a sweat droplet running down the ridge of his neck. “Again.”  Your eyes tear away from his neck. He licks his bottom lip and nudges the knife forward.

You sigh, taking your knife from him. You go through the same motions and yet again, Bucky intercepts.

“You’re distracted.” Yeah, no shit. If this room was vacant, you’d have Bucky pounding your ass into the mat right now. You catch yourself rolling your eyes. Those super stealthy spy skills are certainly hard at work. Bucky senses your tension and flips his knife back into his pocket. “Let’s take a break.” 

“Oh, thank god.” You push your knife closed ready to follow him out of the gym. Bucky’s dog tags clink together as he walks to the common area with you. You get distracted by the chain sitting at the base of his glistening neck before you’re grabbing his hand and dragging him to the kitchen. It’s weird to be able to hear your footsteps echo. Bucky’s steps are silent out of habit. The commons are empty, everybody off doing their own thing. 

You jump up on the island counter and swing your legs. Your hand pinches his pocket, pulling him closer to you. Your other hand holds the back of his neck to bring his face closer down. You kiss him sweetly. Tongue only sweeping out to lick his bottom lip a little. You nip and suck on his bottom lip as he pulls away.

 You manage to slip his knife out of his pocket before he walks to the fridge. You start fiddling with his knife, tossing it in the air. The weight of it more familiar. It’s a mini bowie knife about 8 inches long with a handle wrapped in leather and a matching sheath. Bucky doesn’t leave his room without it. 

“What is with you today?” He rubs your spit off his lips before opening the fridge. 

You shrug even though his defined back faces you. The knife almost clatters to the counter as you think about marking it up. “I-I don’t know. Just a little ornery I guess.” 

“I thought you were doing well with the practice. What’s up?” He glances back over his shoulder. 

“We’ve been working on the same move forever.” He closes the fridge, holding two water bottles in his big hand. You stop flipping his knife long enough for him to toss one to you. 

“You’re getting the hang out of it. Just a few more times and I’ll stop torturing you.” 

“Yeah right. It’s not like you’ve used that excuse before.” You’re grumbling underneath your breath as he brings the water bottle to his lips. This man is actually making you jealous of a piece of plastic. 

“Heard that.” He mentions before drowning the water down. Fuck super hearing. You twirl his knife in the air. Water escapes out of the corner of his mouth, dripping down his chin to his neck. You want to lick the water off him. Your mouth suddenly feels very dry. You can’t watch it travel down his thick chest probably to stop somewhere around his abs. His knife bounces off your thigh and hits the counter top. Bucky raises an eyebrow at you and throws his emptied bottle in the recycling. This… This is torture. 

“Sorry.” You’re sheepish as you pick his knife back up. You toss it back up, trying to distract yourself from your shirtless boyfriend. At its highest point, Bucky swipes it from you, handle in his palm. 

“You should stop playing with knives.” He unsheathes the knife and flips it. 

“You should stop being a fucking tease.” You use the exact same tone. “Do you know how much of a distraction you are being?”

“Uh yeah.” Bucky situates himself between your thighs. “Gawking at me for the past two hours speaks volumes.” He rolls his neck and drops his free hand on your spandex covered thigh, rubbing it soothingly.

Bucky uses his knife to lift the hem of your tank top away from you chest, exposing more of your cleavage. He looks down as you speak. “You knew?” You pull away from him a little pissed you didn’t get hot gym sex. Hell, you would have even let him take you in the showers. The sharp blade rips a line through your top. 

“I like watching you squirm.” He mumbles. His eyes are transfixed on the tear, your cleavage peeking through. “Hey, quick question. How much are you invested in your outfit?” You know exactly what he’s thinking about with his eyes glazed over with lust still glued to your chest. 

“If you’re using your knife, rip it to shreds.” 

“I fucking love you.” He groans before smashing his lips against yours, teeth clacking together. You don’t give a fuck about it as Bucky rips open your tank top with his hands. 

“Off.” He mumbles against your lips. He’s pulling on the top’s strap. You shrug it off, letting it fall to the floor. You turn your head, gasping out. Bucky presses his lips to the corner of your mouth, leaving a trail of kisses down to your jaw all the way to your neck. 

“You can tear off my leggings too.” He groans, lips vibrating against your pulse. He eagerly reaches down and yanks at the skin tight spandex. Bucky almost makes you fly off the counter onto your ass in his haste. Bucky catches you and sits you back on the counter as you cackle and hang onto his neck. 

“Sorry.” He can’t help but grin. 

You hum as you scratch the back of his scalp. “You’re fine.” You’re giggles die down with Bucky’s final yank. The seams of your spandex finally give under Bucky’s strength. You get to witness the hottest sight. Bucky rips the leggings down your legs, biceps bulging as he throws the scrap of clothing over his shoulder. He drops down to his knees and grabs your foot to kiss your ankle. You lean back on your hands to enjoy the show. He trails kisses up your inner legs. Darkened grey eyes stay on yours. 

He’s leaving hickies on the sensitive parts of your inner thigh when he finally notices the obscene wet patch of your panties. His teeth bite into your thigh. Stinging pain blooms before he can separate from your skin. You’re into Bucky’s teeth marks on your thigh. You’re not gonna lie. It’s hot. 

He tries to blow cool air on the reddening mark in between multiple expletives. Eyes trained on the apex of your thighs, you‘d think you were wearing Bucky’s favorite lingerie. Nope, a plain black sports bra with simple underwear and Bucky’s drooling. 

“Poor sweetheart. Soaking through your panties.” He rubs the wet patch through your underwear. “Bet your pussy’s just begging for my dick, yeah? How empty does your cunt feel without my cock, huh?” His fingers press down harder before they’re gone. He licks a stripe up your panties. You can feel the wet heat of his tongue from your entrance to your clit. He kisses your clit through the cotton. 

Your eyes roll back as you stammer his name. You gather the strength to shove him off as he continues to mouth through your panties. You’re panting trying to find words. “I’ve been ready for y-your cock all day, you fucking tease.” You pull his arm up to get him standing. 

He finally stands as he leans down to kiss your cheek. You reach for his pants, unfastening his belt at a speed even you are surprised at. 

“Oh, if you were gonna get this desperate, I should have teased you sooner.” You ignore the bastard’s comment and unbutton his pants. You pull down the zipper, tugging down his pants. That fucking prick is just as turned on as you. You lick your palm before stuffing your hand down his boxers and gripping his cock. You twist and pump at a speed he likes. 

You admire the flutter of his eyelashes as he moans out. “Wait, wait, wait.” His hips arch into your touch. “You’re so damn insistent right now. I’m gonna cum in my pants.” The knife scrapes against the counter when he picks it up.

You pause. “Bucky, if you cum right now, I’ll kill you.” 

“I fucking know. Get your hand out of my boxers.” You slip your hand out of the black cotton. “Act like this and you can get my cock anytime.” He slides the knife under the band of your sports bra and uses his free hand to stretch the fabric across the sharp blade. With his strength, it tears easily. “Arms up.” You raise your arms in the air. He does the same process with each band at your sides. It’s like the knife is sliding through butter with his expertise. Excitement runs through you. Bucky grabs the fabric off your back and throws it with the rest of the scraps. 

His chest rumbles, groaning at the sight of your bare breasts. “Can never get tired of these.” He leaves an open mouth kiss on top of each breast. 

“James, please, the task at hand.” You’re ushering him on before he can suck one into his mouth. 

“Can’t help it, baby. Look at you all sprawled out for me. If I don’t drown you in attention, who am I?” He kisses your swollen lips, sucking on your tongue as he moves his knife to your underwear. The knife tears smoothly through the band on each thigh. He reluctantly pulls away from you and pushes you down your shoulder for you to lay fully back. The cool granite feels nice against your hot skin. He slips the broken cotton off you and pulls your thighs closer to the edge. “Fuck.” His groan is drawn out. Your pussy glistens under the fluorescent lights for him. “Stunning. I’m so hard for you right now. Fucking gorgeous.” Before either of you can think, Bucky is bringing his knife up. The handle easily slides through your drenched folds. He circles your clit before going back down, barely dipping into your entrance. 

“As much as I love the idea you fucking me with the knife handle, can I please have your cock now?” The pressure of the handle is lost as Bucky pulls his boxers down. 

“Yes, but I will bring up that concept later.” Bucky pushes his dick into you. You’re whimpering. It’s a challenge taking Bucky’s cock no matter how turned on you are. Although, you’re arching your hips trying to get him deeper as he stretches out your walls slowly. 

He takes the opportunity while you adjust to his sizable width to slam his knife into the countertop a few feet away from your head. The marble splinters from the strength and he leans down to finally catch a breast in his mouth. He’d never hurt you. You trust Bucky more than anyone else, but the show of brute strength has you clenching Bucky’s cock in a vice grip. It’s one of the hottest things he’s done and that’s a long list. Bucky groans against your chest. His hand is splayed right next to your head and one hand reaches down to his cock as he leans up. He has to squeeze the base so he’s not cumming prematurely.

“Do you think I can lather your chest in hickies in peace? You can’t avoid it. You know? You're gonna get them either way.” Tendrils from his messy bun fall from his hair as he stares down lovingly at you. You raise your chest as you try to take him deeper.

“S-sorry.” Bucky is the epitome of heart eyes as you stutter. You have to literally wait for you to calm down before either of you can move. 

He sweeps sweaty tendrils off your temple before cupping your cheek. You’re in love with the feel of his calloused fingertips against your soft skin. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m totally going to make you do that again.”  He pets your cheek adoringly as you huff.

“Will you- FUCK.”  He cuts off your complaint halfway through as he pulls out and thrusts deep inside you. 

“Huh, what was that? Too busy on my cock for a coherent sentence?” Bucky leans his hand back on the counter near your head and you hold onto his forearm. You stretch out your neck. He continues thrusting as he clicks his tongue. “What a good whore.”  He places his free hand on your neck. Not pressing down or anything. Just stroking your hummingbird pulse under his thumb. You swallow as the ghost of the airy light feeling creeps into the synapses of your brain. Without a word, your free hand lays over Bucky’s hand wrapped around your throat and squeeze. Bucky groans when he gets the memo. 

“Please.” You whimper as his calloused fingertips press down on the sides of your throat. Your groan is long, welcoming the real feeling of floating like an old friend. Your eyes flutter shut. 

“You know I was hoping I could fuck my girlfriend without choking her for once, but you’re too much of a slut for it. Aren’t you, baby?” He squeezes down just a bit harder. Your undulating pussy makes him restless. He stands again. Hand still around your neck as he licks the pads of his metal fingers, bringing them down to tease your clit. He circles the nub slowly. Small shocks of pleasure travel through your nerves. You can feel just a fraction of his weight against your neck. He knows what he’s doing. Leaning a bit into you. 

“Y-yeah.” You sigh, breath hitching at his rough thrusts picking up. His cock hits sensitive depths within you. You can practically feel Bucky in your tummy. “L-love your… your- fuck- hands. Bucky, sweetheart, p-please touch me.” His fingers pick up speed against your clit. You smile lazily, happy he didn’t make you beg for it. Your glazed eyes open to stare at him heavy lidded, tongue darting out to lick your bottom lip. Bucky curses at the sight. 

“My hands, huh? Is that what you were imagining? My hands wrapped around your throat as I make this pretty pussy cream?”  

“D-don’t forget the… the… the…” Your brain is forgetting words as the spring in your abdomen starts to coil. The pressure on your throat loosens, but his hand doesn’t move. Both of your hands make sure his stay in place wrapped around his wrist and forearm.

“The knife. Right.” He scoffs out a laugh and grins. His own pace makes him catch his breath. “Getting stupid, baby?” 

You nodd, tongue too heavy and head foggy. So fucking close. 

“Why don’t you cum for me, pretty girl. Wanna feel this wet pussy cream around me.” He’s squeezing lightly again. “C’mon, don’t you wanna be a good girl.” He coos. You do. You do want to be a good girl.

And… the spring pops free. You cry out his name in between expletives. Your orgasm soaking his cock. Your ears ring and your feet arch. Bucky always manages to make you feel so euphoric during sex. Maybe he should put that on his resume. Bucky Barnes. Esteemed Avenger. Pussy destroyer.

“Such a fucking beautiful sight. You’re goddamn gorgeous.” Bucky praises as you come to. His thrusts pick up even more speed if that’s possible. You allow him to take his hand off your neck and he slides it down your chest. Temporarily, stopping at your breasts to roll a nipple in between his index and thumb. He stops to splay a hand at your tummy. “Baby girl. Sweetheart. Honey. Sweet ass. Will you please look down?” 

You entertain Bucky and lean on your elbows to look down. Your cunt clenches Bucky’s cock in deeper at the sight. Both of you are at just the right angle for your lower tummy to bulge. When you were feeling his formidable cock in your stomach, he was literally in your lower tummy. 

“This is what made you so fucking stupid. Look.” His palm rubs the pulsing bulge. “Made you forget sentences halfway through.” You cocky boyfriend pats the bulge before he’s grabbing both sides of your hips. Fingers indent the soft skin, jerking your hips to meet his cock. 

With a mini orgasm sneaking up on you and making your pussy tremble, he only lasts a few more thrusts. Bucky’s Adam’s apple bobs in a groan. Fingernails digging little crescent shapes as his warmth scorches your insides. Seems like a heavy orgasm for him too. Better get comfortable. 

You hook your finger into his chain and pull him down to kiss your bitten lips. His lips are so soft. You could kiss this man all day. However, He has other plans. He nips your bottom lip, sucking on it before he travels his kisses south. You know exactly where he’s going. You thought it was unusual to leave such few hickies. Sure enough, he stops at your breasts. He alternates between open mouth kisses and leaving marks.

“You know… we’re naked and our place is like five levels up.” He mumbles against your chest before licking at your sweat and sucking a hickey into your skin. 

You hum, unwrapping his scrunchy and running your hand through his damp hair. He moans as you scratch his scalp. “You could wear your boxers. You think I can fit into your pants?” 

[suzumenokakimono]

I was here first II

Pairing: Namjoon /  Jimin x reader

Genre: AU, smut, fluff, angst, roommates to lovers, fwb, friends to lover

Summary: Jimin was your roommate, best friend and in love with you so bad it wasn’t even funny. His friends knew this all along and were surely surprised you’ve never noticed. But you didn’t. You were oblivious as the Earth was round. Now, Jimin decided it was time to finally confess to you. He asked one of his closest friends, Namjoon, to help him. But what if you end up liking Namjoon instead of Jimin?

Word count: 7k

A/N: Thank you, N.

While I was writing this, I realized what’s ‘wrong’ with my writing style but then also it hit me: not gonna change it.

Also, there is stuff going on in my head, hence the plot. * flies away *

Namjoon though.

Tagged: (as requested 💜: @ jinnfires)

Masterlist | Chapters: One | Two | Three (incoming) 

-------

That was your favorite mug.

You remembered how you got it, actually. Jimin had broken your mug. The only mug you had brought with you when you’d moved in. It was really stupid, it was not even special to you. You just never bought anything more, never needed it to, to be honest. 

Before you started to live with Jimin, your previous roommate had had a lot of stuff and she’d always let you use it. It was really convenient and you gladly took advantage of that. When she moved out, you were left with just your stuff, which was not a lot. Jimin always said you could use anything you wanted from his kitchen but it was nice to have something of your own. So when he broke your only mug, he immediately bought you a new one. He was feeling very bad about that and kept sending you tons of links to internet shops, asking what you would like. To finally make him stop crying over the whole situation, you’d picked one and you used it ever since. After those two years in this apartment, you got yourself more things, that you could call yours, but this one stayed as your favourite.

And now it was broken. You were standing in the middle of the kitchen and looking at the shattered pieces on the floor, not sure how that had happened. No. That was a lie. You knew exactly how it had happened, you just weren’t sure… how. 

The morning started pretty ordinarily. It was a weekend so both you and Jimin didn’t have work and stayed at home. He was trying to convince you to go to the cinema or something, but looking at the weather you weren’t sure it was the best idea. You just wanted to stay inside. You decided to make yourself a nice tea and finally start reading that book you’d wanted to read for so long.

Jimin’s face leaned out from behind the door frame to check what was going on. He had heard the noise and wanted to make sure you were alright. He saw you standing in the kitchen and started to think he had misheard but then he noticed the mess on the floor. He didn’t have any issues with recognizing your mug. Or what was left of it. 

“Did you just…?”.

You hadn’t even noticed him. When he spoke you turned around, surprised by his presence.

“Huh… what?”

“Did you just break the mug from me?”

For some reason he was pretty amused by this. Knowing what happened with the previous one and seeing what you did with the one he got you, was a little ironic. 

“I can’t believe you broke THE MUG!”

He chuckled to himself but then he saw your face expression and just burst into laughter. You looked so surprised and out of place, for what the reason he assumed, was your accident with the mug. He started to help you clean up, since you were barefoot and could step into some smaller pieces and hurt yourself. 

“What happened?”

“Um… sorry. I… got distracted. Shame…”

You really were sorry about that. One of the reasons you liked the mug was how you’d actually gotten it. The story was simple but there was a story and that’s what counted. You can’t say that very often about your everyday life’s items. 

You helped Jimin with cleaning, making sure nothing stayed on the floor and took out one of his mugs from the cabinet. While doing so you were holding your phone in your other hand, looking intensely on its screen. 

“So, what about the movie?”

“... movie? What movie?”

“Are you still not going?”

“No…”, you looked at your phone again. “Something came up.”

-------

When Jimin opened the door, it was around 6am. It was already getting bright outside but all he was thinking about was to sleep for the next week. He was exhausted and kind of dehydrated. Not being entirely conscious he went to the kitchen and just turned on the tap to drink some water. He twisted his head to the side and leaned over the sink. Cold, clean water ran down his throat and felt a little more alive than a few seconds ago. He promised himself, not for the first time to be honest, not to drink that much next time. Let’s face it. He was not going to quit drinking entirely. He just wanted not to feel half dead each morning after a fun, long night. That was never fun. The only plus of those situations was you, you taking care of him when he was in a state where crawling on the floor seemed like the only possible way of moving. You always complained but never denied helping him. It also gave you many possibilities of making fun of him. 

He turned off the water and dried his face with a towel. He needed a shower but was too tired to care about that. Soft bed was calling for him. While passing by your room, he saw the door not entirely closed, so he quietly stepped closer to check up on you. You were sleeping in your bed, wrapped in your comforter like a burrito and snoring quietly. Your pretty dress was on a chair and shoes discarded separately on the floor. He saw your hair pointing out and this way he was sure you were okay. Namjoon did what he was asked to. He went to his room, feeling a little heavy, remembering again what had happened in the club and how his whole plan didn’t work out at all. He knew it was his fault that he backed out and just left you. But for him, the price was too big. What ifs were killing him this whole time and he decided he would not take this risk. He needed more time.

He closed your door behind him and went to his room. He had a lot of stuff to think about. Maybe a new plan to figure out. But not this morning. The only thing he needed and also wanted to do was sleep.

-------

It had been a week since you, Jimin and Namjoon went out. None of you mentioned the night very often, if at all. When you woke up the next day, you just wanted to die quietly without any distractions and minding silence in Jimin’s room, he was already dead. You both spent that time separately, doing your own stuff, doing everything that was necessary to survive. After that, you just got back to the normal life routine. You hadn’t found out what the meaning of that night was anyway, so you didn’t pay much attention to it.

No. That was a lie. You didn’t care much about the situation with Jimin. Sure, he’d acted weird and left you for some random girl in the club, but he was your friend and apparently he’d gotten back home safe. You did care, however, about the other guy. The one you met that night.

Namjoon didn’t give you any contact information, no phone number, no messenger options. When he’d left your room, he’d just disappeared and never tried to reach out to you. He’d left you with just a memory of him, him on top of you in your bed, groaning low in your ear. This image stayed in your head rent free and didn’t want to move out anytime soon. You didn’t remember everything. You lost a little track of the events after you both left the cab. But you were definitely sure you’d held his dick at some point. That was unmistakable. 

Having this vividly in your mind, you tried to find him. The best way and probably the only way, was through Jimin. You’d started by asking him how work was, hoping he would mention his friend at some point. But he didn’t. So’d you tried to nonchalantly talk about your night out but it somehow ended up even worse. He’d changed the subject immediately, without any reason and had been avoiding it since then. You didn’t understand that, but nevertheless, you understood you wouldn’t get any information this way. Sighing heavily, you dropped it for a moment. You really liked Namjoon and wanted to see him again, but apparently you had to wait for something to happen or him to find you, because the universe was telling you to wait. So you waited.

It was Friday evening. You were looking for a movie to watch and you wanted to watch it in the living room. Jimin was writing to you the whole day how one of his annoying co-workers had a birthday and was insisting on going out later to a bar. He was nagging how he didn’t want to, but had to and was asking you for some good excuses to go back home. You liked the idea of spending the evening alone in your apartment so you refused and laughed at his response, when he realized you enjoyed his suffering. Sitting wrapped in a blanket on your living room couch, you were ready for tonight's film show, knowing very well your roommate wouldn't be home anytime soon. 

-------

Jimin was sipping his beer without any enjoyment. He was forced to come to the bar and drink, and that took all the fun from being at the bar and drinking. He thought maybe pouring all possible alcohol straight down his throat would be a good solution to survive this ‘birthday party’ but then again he promised himself not to drink that much. At least, not as much as last time. Oh fuck, last time… Just thinking about it made him anxious and he immediately took a big sip. It’d been a week and he couldn’t get over it. He didn’t talk to anyone about that, he was embarrassed and so pissed at himself. He thought maybe hiding everything deep, deep inside him would just make it go away.

Namjoon sat next to him, pushing him to the side, forcing Jimin to make more space. He also got  invited for the party, but was a little merrier than his friend. He was drinking some dark beer and looking around the crowd. One of their female colleagues tried to talk to him, he was pretty sure she was flirting, but after a few moments he found an excuse and ran away. 

“She has nice legs.”, Jimin mumbled from his glass.

“Yeah, then go and talk to her. I’ll save your spot.”

“I don’t think she likes me. I think she likes you.”

“Bummer.”

“Why are you so defensive? You’re not madly in love with your friend, like me. Or are you?”

Of course Jimin had to mention you. He was drinking and was in a bad mood from the moment they’d entered the bar. This was the first time they actually talked with each other, since your night in the club. Jimin never got back to Namjoon, like he said he would. They were avoiding one another, for their own reasons, which they kept for themselves. Namjoon was seriously scared that everything that had happened between you two was perfectly noticed and his friendship with Jimin was ruined. He really didn’t want that but at the same time, he couldn't blame Jimin. So, when he’d come to the table to finally break the ice, he wasn’t sure what he was going to find. It had surprised him that Jimin didn’t seem to be angry.

“I’m not in love with you. You’re not my type. Too much penis.” Jimin snored at that excellent joke and got back to his drink. This was a good sign.

This past week hadn’t been easy. Avoiding his friend and distracting himself with anything that’s possible just to not think about you was pretty exhausting. He was actually happy someone had come up with the idea of going out to the bar. He needed to chill.

“I fucked this up, didn’t I?”, Jimin spoke out of the blue.

“No. Because you haven’t done anything.”, Namjoon said, without even thinking. 

Jimin looked at his friend with an unspoken question, not sure what he meant. Namjoon swallowed hard. The fuck he’d just said that and started the whole conversation? He didn’t mean to say that! How the hell was this supposed to help to not think about you? This was already not going well.

“You’ve never actually tried, you know… talked to her…”, he started to sweat. 

“Yes, exactly. I fucked this up, because I have no balls to try.”

“But… why?”

“I thought… maybe…”, he started to mumble. “I should first make her jealous, you know? By picking up someone else and she… would…”

“Make… her jealous? How the hell was she supposed to be jealous if she had no idea what was going on?”

“You know… She sees me with some hot chick, thinks, oh that could have been me…”

Namjoon smelled bullshit from a distance. Jimin was too smart to actually think this kind of shitty strategy would work. Plus, that had never been his plan for that night in the first place.. 

“Oh, cut the crap!”, Namjoon lost his patience and probably shouted too loud, Jimin looked at him, surprised. “What the hell really happened that night?”

Jimin stopped sipping his beer, trying to collect his thoughts. He was torned apart. He wanted to forget about everything and at the same time, needed to say everything that was eating him alive. 

“I panicked.”, Jimin’s sight was glued to the table.

“That… I would call an understatement, at least.

“Remember when we were talking and… we started to look back on the day we met… She mentioned how I was drunk and falling from my chair… She turned to you…”

Namjoon froze in place. This was it. Jimin was about to say how him, his friend, stole the girl of his dreams. There was no turning back. 

“She was talking about me like the biggest dork. She was laughing, not taking me seriously…”

Namjoon took a deep breath and wasn’t sure he understood. His mind was completely lost in connecting the dots. 

“She’s seeing me as her friend. I was trying to be with her that night, like with the other girls, you know? I was flirting and touching her, she didn’t care at all. We both were drinking and yet… it wasn’t enough. That’s why I ran away.”

Jimin got back to sipping his drink, not looking at Namjoon. And if he had, he would’ve seen an absolutely blank page. Namjoon felt like his brain got a reset and he was sitting with a blue screen displayed for everyone watching. He never doubted that what he did back in the club was wrong, however he was certain Jimin had seen it and was about to kill him. Not noticing how he had been drooling all over you was pretty impossible. And yet, here he was, safe and sound. He narrowed his eyes in that moment, finally connecting the dots. You both were pretty dumb and blind when it came to feelings and reading someone else’s emotions. 

“So… you got scared because she was laughing at something you did three years ago?”

“It sounds stupid, I know. But I felt really weird. Like, me doing that is all she can see. Like, that night defined me in her eyes. She sees me as a dork… nothing serious…”

“You’re not a dork.”, Namjoon sighed heavily. This conversation was pretty weird and was making him nervous. However, what made him slightly relaxed was that, one problem was already solved: Jimin was absolutely oblivious about that night.  

“I know I am. And she knows I am.”

“Maybe she likes dorks?”, why the fuck did he say that?!

“I actually don’t know what her type is.”

I’m her type.

“Did she date anyone, after moving in with you?”

“I’m not sure… I think there was a guy or two… nothing really serious.”

“You’ve never talked about this? Never gossiped about your lovelife?”

“We did, but she was always more curious about mine, since I did bring some girls a few times. She was always asking why a handsome guy like me doesn’t have a girlfriend”, Jimin smiled to himself after a word handsome. He liked when you called him that. 

“She thinks you’re handsome.”

“And she doesn’t like me.”

But she likes me. 

Namjoon mentally slapped himself for that. 

“What about the other girl?”, he desperately wanted to change the subject. 

Talking about you, in a perspective of you liking Jimin or not, was killing him. You were on his mind all the time anyway, since you’d met. And he had to hide that. He started to have problems with being a good friend and supporting Jimin with his crush and his efforts to win you over. 

“What girl?”

“The one you were making out when you left us. Y/A saw the two of you at the bar.”

“There’s not much to talk about.”, Jimin looked flustered. He turned his head away.

“Why? Did you go with her and something went wrong?”

“No… it’s….”

“Did she laugh at you? You couldn’t do it? You were too drunk? You fell asleep in the middle?”

“Are you having fun?”

“Yes, yes I am!”

Jimin looked at Namjoon, waiting for another assumption about his night. But none of them came, he stopped making stuff up after seeing his friend's expression.

“It’s nothing like that. I didn’t go with her.”, Jimin sighed.

“I’m a little confused now. You ditched Y/A for some random chick and then you just… came home?”

“No. I… “

“What? What the fuck happened?”

“I went to the internet caffe and played Overwatch.”

Namjoon snorted so much his beer came right through his nose. However, he admitted it was worth it. He would have never expected Jimin to say something like that. 

“I’m sorry, you did what?”

“Ugh… Yes, we made out a little but I wasn’t in the mood. I was thinking about Y/A the whole time and it… it just didn’t feel right.”

“You were thinking about Y/N while making out with another girl?”

“I forgot how big of a dipshit you can be, you know?”

You have no idea. 

-------

The doorbell woke you up from the deepest moment of your dream. When you lifted your head you weren’t sure where you were, what was going on or who you were. You needed a moment to recover and another ring to finally get up. Blindly you reached out to your nightstand and grabbed your phone.

2:05 am. Who the fuck was that?

You had gone to sleep some time ago, knowing Jimin had his own keys and he would help himself with opening the door. You were not expecting anyone, especially at this time, so while still being a little asleep you were very hesitant to open the door. You looked through the visor on the door but it was too dark to determine anything. But there was someone there, for sure.

Another ring made you jump in place. Someone was really stubborn and didn’t want to let this go. So, hoping nobody doing this kind of noise would try to kill you, you slowly turned the locks and looked at what was waiting for you in the corridor. 

First you saw Namjoon. He was standing right in front of the door, basically leaning into it. He barely looked at you because all his attention was on another person hanging on his shoulder. And that person was Jimin. 

You looked first at Namjoon, then at your roommate, then again at his friend. Many questions were growing inside your head, you were fully awake at this point. 

“What…?”

You tried to articulate one of them, but it died before it left your mouth. Was Jimin unconscious? You just pointed at him, which was worth a thousand words. 

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t find his keys. He said they’re in his pocket but… I’m not gonna…

He moved a step forward, trying to get to the apartment, without bumping into you. You shook your head, realizing you were blocking his way. You moved away to make the corridor clear but Namjoon didn’t go any further.

“Can you… help me?”

You immediately got to the other side of Jimin and put his arm on your shoulder. You felt his weight on you and a second after that you smelled all the alcohol he drank at the bar. He was indeed unconscious. His body felt like a ragdoll, it was really hard to get him into his room, but both of you somehow managed to. His feet were dragging along on the floor while you pulled him through the corridor. You threw him on his bed, which was a little too rough, but he didn’t react in any way. 

“I think this time he might be dead.”, Namjoon was standing next to you.

“Possibly.”

You sighed heavily. You knew what was coming so you jumped out to the bathroom and brought a big plastic bowl. You put it next to Jimin’s bed, just in case he woke up and decided he didn’t like all the alcohol he had in his body. And food. And his insides. You assumed him waking up would be a very dramatic moment. 

“That’s clever. I don’t think he’ll aim for that anyway, but at least we tried.”, Namjoon didn’t fool himself. If Jimin woke up, he would be half dead and puking into the bowl would be the last thing on his list.

You both left the room. You were trying to act quietly, even though there was no such force that could have woken up Jimin in this state. You closed the door behind you and looked at Namjoon. Before, you smelled alcohol because of your friend. He drank like there was no tomorrow, for sure. But Joon did not say no to drinks as well. He was not as drunk as your roommate but he was swaying in place, not able to focus his sight on you.

“Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m fine… I just need to lay down…”, he was a little embarrassed and wanted to go home and sleep.

“Do you want some tea?”, you asked, already being on your way to the kitchen. On your way you brushed your hand on his arm, trying to pretend that was an accident, didn’t mean much.

Namjoon didn’t say anything. He just watched you going, focusing on how you were swaying your hips,  followed you and after a few seconds.

“Tea sounds perfect.”

He was watching while you were jumping around and making him and yourself a tea. Yet again he saw you in a different light than before. When he stood still, holding the door frame for support, he focused on the way you looked. He remembered you in your pretty dress and makeup. Well, also without a dress. But this time you were just in your pajama shorts and a simple loose T-shirt. Your hair was tied up on top of your head and you were definitely not wearing any makeup. Even though his vision was not the best at that time, he decided you looked very pretty with a bare face. 

When the tea was ready, you grabbed both mugs by their handles and just took them to the living room, giving him an unspoken direction to do the same. Namjoon followed you again and you both sat on the couch. He felt much better sitting, it made him feel more sure he wouldn’t fall down. Or at least from his seat, there was a much shorter trip to the floor. 

“Party was that good?”, you asked. 

“Afterparty, maybe.”

“After-what? Why did you need that?” “It was Jimin’s idea. He… didn’t have much fun at the birthday party, so we went somewhere else just to… well, drink. We didn’t plan to stay long… and that part of the plan worked out.”

Namjoon seemed a little tired. He leaned his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Was he falling asleep? You took that opportunity and looked at him. He wasn’t wearing his beanie this time. His natural dark hair was short and dyed to a blonde color, shaved at the bottom and slightly underneath into a nice undercut. It really suited him and you were fighting with the urge to brush your fingers through his hair. You imagined how it would feel under your fingertips. Probably very soft. His grey hoodie was a little loose on his body, you’d noticed he liked a little baggier clothes. He’d matched it with light jeans and red converse. 

Somehow, you missed him and wanted him to stay. Even just to talk with you. You were pinching yourself to start a conversation, any conversation, you didn’t want him to leave.

“You know, after that fun night in the club you disappeared… I haven’t heard from you… ”

Namjoon opened his eyes and looked at you. It definitely helped him wake up.

“I…”, he wasn’t sure what to say. 

He had been avoiding you. Not that you’d had many occasions to actually meet. But he was trying to forget about a pretty girl that he really liked but very well knew, his friend was in love with. He had to remind himself of that all the time. The whole evening with Jimin was not helping at all. Getting in touch with you, after all that had happened the night you met was a very bad idea.

“I didn’t want to bother you. We’ve barely met and I thought that… we’re not that close, so it doesn’t matter.”

“What does that mean?”

“We’re not friends… we don’t have to hang out… you know... “, he had no idea what he was talking about. 

“We’re not but you’re Jimin’s friend. You can’t run away from him.”

“I didn’t run away from you.”

“But you did avoid me?”

“Yes. NO!”, his brain was malfunctioning. He pulled himself up, grabbed his tea and took a sip. It burned his tongue a little but was a great distraction. 

“You don’t like me?”

“NO!”, he almost jumped in his place and spilled his tea on his legs. “What? Of course not! I do!”

You laughed at his reaction. 

“I like you too.”

You smiled at him, blushing a little. You took your mug from the coffee table to distract yourself from the embarrassment that was attacking you. He didn’t miss that. He was still a little buzzed but you talking to him was keeping him awake. He was watching you intensely, trying to remember how you’d looked that night. He put his mug away, to avoid spilling tea anywhere and leaned his head back on the couch sliding down a little in his seat. He wasn’t sure if he was getting sleepy again or whether your presence was affecting him this way. Whatever it was, a nice warm feeling spread through his body after your small confession. He smiled back at you, which made you even more flustered and you almost hid your face in your mug.

“Ah… you know… after all that happened, I was pretty sure you actually don’t want to see me.”

“But, why? Did I do something stupid? Did I… fall asleep while we were…?”

“No, we didn’t do anything! When I put you into bed you were already sleeping.”

“I actually wanted to ask, did I fall asleep while we were kissing.”, you giggled. You remembered Namjoon left before anything happened.

“Oh, then, my answer would be yes!”, he smiled with his cute smile, showing his dimples. A shy blush also showed up on his cheeks. 

“Huh, I think I drank a little too much.”

“That’s fine. It’s not like I was sober. I was there too.” 

“Yes… yes, you were.”, you looked into his eyes. “I was drunk, half naked and you rolled me into my comforter and left.”

Namjoon’s breath hitched for a second. Your straightforward statement made him remember how that had actually happened, that everything he had in his head really took place. 

You on the bed, him on top of you. He tried to get up, you held him. He was trying to leave, you took off your dress. Later he was trying to convince himself that it didn’t happen, he didn’t see you naked waist up, that his hard dick wasn’t… 

“... yeah, you took that dress off…”, he drifted off for a moment, looking in your direction, but not at you. Images were flashing right in front of his eyes.

Then he heard you laughing. 

“I did take my dress off”, you hid your face in your hands. Your expression changed in one second, again.

Namjoon snorted right after you. Talking about this was making him a little nervous. He felt his hands starting to sweat. You were sitting close to him, with your legs on the couch, one arm spread behind his head. Your shorts riled up your thighs showing even more skin. Loose T-shirt hanging on your shoulder, making your collarbone very much visible. 

You put your mug back to the table and moved closer to him. 

“We were both drunk, but I do remember most of it.”, you knew you were blushing, but didn’t want that to stop you.

“... I… maybe half of it.” he lied. He remembered everything.

“I can’t stop thinking about what if…”

He swallowed hard. He looked at your lips. Your hand behind his head found his hair and  played with it nonchalantly. He was pretending he didn’t notice. You scratched your neck with your other hand and glued his sight to your skin. He remembered everything.

“What if what?”

“What if we slept together? It’s not like we’re in relationships, so we wouldn't be doing anything wrong… right?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend…”, he shook his head a little to emphasize this. 

“Me neither. Or a boyfriend.”, you smiled.

You were getting closer and closer. He felt a hint of a fruit scent. Was that your shampoo? Your finger touched his neck. Very lightly, but a shiver went down his spine. Your touch was hot on his skin and he immediately started to want more.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.

You took your hand away, like you realised what you were doing and that was way too far and too fast. For a second you panicked, a train of thoughts was attacking you and you felt like you were the only one that was trying to do something there. Like you were the only one who felt the spark and wanted to use it. Like he didn’t want you anymore.

He raised his head a little, he looked straight into your eyes, his mouth was slightly open.

You were wrong. You were so fucking wrong.

You leaned into him and you kissed him without another word. He didn’t oppose at all. After all, if you hadn't, he would have done that himself. He cupped your face and pulled you closer. One of his hands wandered to your neck. He also felt yours on his, it went straight back to its place where it had been before. He tasted like beer and tea at the same time. You felt the alcohol in his breath but didn’t care much. You took his lower lip between yours and sucked. You felt him smiling, he liked that.

One of his hands grabbed your T-shirt and pulled you closer to him. It made you lose your balance and you put your hand on his chest for support. He didn’t stop though. He was trying to get you as close as possible. 

Without thinking much, you straddled his lap, putting one leg on each side of his hips. His hands were immediately on your bare thighs. Kneading the flesh he moved them up, right on your ass. Grabbing you shorts, he pulled them right up, putting both of your ass cheeks on display. Holding them, made you move closer and spread your legs wider. You sat right up above his crotch, feeling his hardening dick under your thigh. 

Grabbing his hoodie and by pulling it up you urged him to raise his hands, to take it off. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt beneath it. Tight enough to show his slim body and wide shoulders. He didn’t give you much time to appreciate it. Both of his hands were on your neck and pulled you back to him. He was kissing you like crazy, with his tongue exploring your mouth, not giving you any moment to take a breath. One of his hands slid down your shoulder and was going down, until he found the hem of your T-shirt. You felt his fingers on your stomach, shyly first. He was tasting the waters, making sure you were ok with that. Shortly after his whole hand was holding you around your ribcage with his both hands. Circling his thumbs under your breasts, he was slowly moving them up after he found your nipples. 

“I want to see them again.”, his voice was so low, you barely recognized it. 

You whispered a soft “OK” to him and he moved his hands up. T-shirt hooked on his wrist moved up with them. He put it through your head and hooked it on your neck. He didn’t have to do more. He got what he wanted. When he was undressing you, you lifted your hips up and he made you stay that way. Your breasts were right in front of his face and without hesitation he attached his lips to one of them. He licked your nipple, making his tongue flat he slid it up and down, making you moan. He looked up to you, wanting to see your facial expression, wanting to see how much you enjoyed that. He pinched your second nipple which made you whine even louder and his cock even harder. He remembered those sounds, now even more vivid to him, when he wasn’t that drunk. 

While still working your breast with his mouth, his hand moved down, across your thigh, slowly getting closer to your center. THe loose hem of the leg of your shorts gave him easy access to you. His fingers found your core, still covered with your cotton panties, circling it, trying to get inside. Moving them to the side he finally felt how wet you were. 

“Oh fuck… baby, is this all for me?”

You felt a heat rushing through your body. His words made you flustered for some reason, like saying it made it even more real and undeniable. You didn’t know what to say so you blindly shifted your hand to his crotch and found his cock. You started to palm him through his pants, which made him groan. You felt his hot breath and tongue on your skin. But it wasn’t enough. His fingers found your clit and started to slowly move up and down. You made a noise which gave him the perfect confirmation he was doing a good job. Without any further delay you unzipped him and shoved your hand into his pants. He was already hard and precum was gathering on his tip. He slowed his movements when he felt your hand on him, a little unsure what your next move was. You slid his pants and boxer shorts down and freed him. His hard dick slapped into his stomach and you immediately grabbed it and started to pump him. Your hand was sliding on his soft skin, smearing the precum all over him. He started to breathe loud and move his hand on you again. 

You were so wet, you felt it on your thighs. He was touching your clit, sometimes circling it, something sliding up down, left and right. One of his fingers slid inside of you, feeling no resistance. After that the second one joined him, making you stretch a little. You barely felt it. When he started to move them in and out of you, your hips joined them, copying his pace. You didn’t forget about this cock in your hand. He bucked up into your fist when you sped up. He wasn’t able to focus on your nipples anymore. His face landed between your breast, his hot breath made a drop of sweat gather right there. He was whispering sweet nothings to you, you didn’t even understand them. 

You were already chasing your orgasm. The very well known feeling started to build in your stomach and you were desperate to feel it. His fingers were doing wonders on you, circling your clit in a steady pace. You moved your hips closer but his other hand grabbed your hip and held you. You leaned towards him, hid your face in his neck, kissing and sucking the skin. You were focusing on the pleasure he was giving you but still wanted to return the favour. You speed up the pace of your own hand, squeezing his dick hard and making him moan right into your ear. He was getting close like you. You focused on the tip, circling with your thumb on his slit, wanting to make him cum. He was starting to breath faster and louder, squeezing your hip, digging his fingers into your flesh.

Then you heard it. A loud noise, which snapped you from your bliss and made your high disappear in a blink of an eye. He’d heard it too. His hand between your legs froze, but still stayed in place. 

“Was that… from Jimin’s room?”, you asked, completely confused. 

Sweat on Namjoon’s face ran down his cheek and ended up on this neck. He was as confused as you were. He’d heard it too and had no idea what that was.

“I-I need to check that.”

When you moved to leave his lap, he whined and grabbed your hand. He didn’t want to stop, he was so close. His own hand was still in your panties, fingers wet with your arousal ready to get back to work and get you off. You were so tempted to go for it, ignore the noise and forget about everything. But you heard it again. This time you were certain it was from Jimin’s room. He probably woke up. 

You had no other choice but to leave Namjoon’s hard dick alone and stand up. He didn’t like that idea but he finally let you go. His hand left your center and went straight to his mouth. He put his fingers inside and sucked them clean, while looking into your eyes the whole time. This time you whined loudly and cursed Jimin for this.

When you were on your legs again, you put your T-shirt down and went to your roommate’s room. Before you opened the door, you felt Namjoon behind you, his hand landed on your shoulders. You both got inside and discovered Jimin was nowhere to be found. His bed was empty, 

“... da fuck…”

And for some reason, Jimin’s pants were on the floor. You had no memory of undressing him, or Namjoon doing that. Did he wake up and take them off? What for? And how? You both were shocked, until you went around the bed and found him on the floor. He was laying on his stomach, with one hand twisted in a very uncomfortable angle, wearing his T-shirt and boxer shorts. The plastic bowl you left for him was pushed away, but still empty. 

You kneeled next to him, checking if he was okay. He was still breathing, but he left unconscious. Namjoon came to you and helped you to put him on his bed again. You rolled him on his back and covered him with a comforter. He was safe again, although you were really puzzled about what had just happened. You were pretty sure Jimin would not remember this, he was way too drunk, so there was no chance you’d find out anyway. You sighed, put the bowl back to its place and left the room, with Namjoon following you. 

When both of you were outside, you quietly closed the door yet again. You felt Namjoon’s hand on you, how he grabbed you by your shoulder and turned you around to him. Your back hit the wall and his body was pressed into yours immediately, pushing air from your lunges. He grabbed your breast and squeezed it, pushing you even harder into the wall. His kiss was long and passionate but when he detached his lips he just stayed like that, looking at you through his lashes.

‘Why the hell do you have to be such a good kisser?”, he whispered into your lips. 

You felt his boner on your stomach and reached out to touch him again. But he moved away. He kissed you one last time and took a step back. Still looking at you, took a deep breath and turned to the living room. Your mind was still hazy with the intense make out, so you didn’t follow him on the spot. But when you did, he wasn’t sitting on the couch but standing in front of the coffee table. He took his tea and started to drink. In one take, he finished it and put the empty mug back. After that he took his hoodie, walked past you, opened the door and left.

It was the second time he was leaving you like this. 

------

“What came up?”, Jimin put a bag of tea in your mug and poured boiling water. You both smelled the scent of green tea. “I thought you’re free today.“

“I am. I-I just don’t want to leave the house tonight.”

“It’s barely noon. You can still change your mind.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

You started to rummage through another cabinet, looking for some cookies. But you couldn’t stop looking at your phone’s screen. Jimin was watching you and noticed how much you were distracted. No wonder you'd broken THE MUG.

“Why are you staring at your phone like that?”

Automatically you did it again. Unread messages’ thumbnails looked at you, asking why you hesitate to read their whole content. 

With a loud crash you closed the cabinet, took your phone and headed to your room.

“I’m going to my room. I need to take care of this.”

Without any more explanation, you took your tea, left the kitchen and locked yourself in your room. When left alone, you took a deep breath and finally unlocked your phone. 

Messages on your phone manifested in front of you and at the point you were certain you read them correctly at the first time.

Unknown [12:36]: You know, I’ve been thinking… We should drink some tea together again

Unknown [12:36]: I’d love to see what next is gonna happen with us in one room

Unknown [12:40]: It’s Namjoon btw

雀

[phonixa08]

A light in the Darkness

☾︎ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fantasy au, fluff, a lil bit of angst

☾︎ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Felix x reader

☾︎ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: slight mentions of murder

☾︎ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: As you made your way to your favourite place at night, just to enjoy the peaceful silence, you quickly realized that you weren't the only one with that plan.

☾︎ 𝐚/𝐧: This is my first attempt here on tumblr so I can't promise anything but I hope you enjoy either way!♡︎

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Stepping out of your house and into the night you breathed in the now slightly chilly air which was usually warm in the midst of day. Sneaking out in the middle of the night became a habit of yours. The night was just so peaceful compared to the busy streets at the light of day where everyone seemed to be chasing their time, the stress being visible on their faces. With the silence of the night and the stars twinkling above you, you felt at ease, like all the burdens just have been lifted off of your shoulders.

Sighing, you made your way to the place you always went to at night- a pond in the woods. It somehow holds a magical aura to you, the way the water glistened in the moonlight and the trees forming an almost perfect circle around it, it was your safe place.

Your figure wandered between the trees, the leaves and branches crunching beneath your feet with each step you took, as suddenly something made you stop in your tracks.

"𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑒𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝, 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒~"

Taken by surprise, you quickly hid behind the nearest tree, not wanting to be seen and startle them with your presence. What was this person doing here in the middle of the night? you thought, at which you smiled ironically coming to the realization that it was you, after all who always came to this place at ungodly hours. Deciding that you wanted to find out who's beautiful voice you just heard and because you couldn't hide here forever you carefully stepped out of your hideout but not without tripping over a branch, the noise being loud enough to signal the person that they weren't alone. Just great, I can't even walk properly without my face kissing the ground. "Who's there?" you heard a deep voice ask. Getting up from the ground and dusting off your jeans, you finally made your way to the pond.

Into your view came a boy around your age with blonde hair and dark eyes, his seemingly stiff posture loosened when he saw your "not - so-intimidating" silhouette approaching him. Even though you were a stranger, he could tell you meant no harm, let's just say this was his talent: reading people. In a way it was the same for you, not the reading people part, but you felt that you could somehow trust him. So you hoped your gut feeling wouldn't fail you, as you took a seat on the rock next to him. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on killing you." you joked, feeling the need to reassure him.

Although he had a sad look on his face, a small smile graced his prominent features as he eyed you. "I heard you singing, you know." you turned your gaze towards him. His eyes became bigger as a flash of embarrassment overcame his body. "I must've sounded so terrible, this is embarrassing." his words muffled because of his hands, covering his face. You on the other hand, looked at him, as if he grew another head "Are you kidding me? I hid behind that tree as an excuse to listen to your voice." Slowly he removed his hands from his face, looking at you in disbelief "Do you really mean it?" You gave him a small smile "I don't say what I don't mean. I really like your voice, I think it's unique, rare. It's deep but also very calming, like the sound of ocean waves." These words combined with the sincerity in your eyes made a blush creep up on the boy's cheeks. No one has ever heard him singing before, so this really meant a lot to him.

"I'm Felix." he held out his hand for you to shake. Smiling, you gently took it. "I'm Y/N." "So, what are you doing here if I may be so bold to ask?" he questioned. "The same as you, I suppose." Felix raised a brow "And that would be?" You shifted in your position, so your body would face him. "Running away from reality." You saw him turning his gaze towards the night sky. The moonlight highlighting his skin, making it glow and stand out from all the darkness around you. His freckles twinkling like the milion stars in the universe. He was beautiful, if you haven't realized it yet, you definitely did now. "Guess that makes two of us, huh." he whispered into the chilly air, letting out a sigh and you couldn't help but notice the broken tone in his voice. You stood up from the rock you've been sitting on and spread out a blanket that you stored in your backpack. As you laid down, you could feel Felix's eyes on you. "What are you doing?" a tint of amusement in his voice, as a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. "Well, what does it look like? Might as well appreciate the stars when I'm outside." you deadpanned. Following your action, he laid down beside you. Turning your head, a grin appeared on your lips. A little company once in a while wasn't that bad.

After a while of just laying there and watching the stars shine in the darkness, your voice interrupted the calming silence. "I know I'm only a stranger you've just met and it's probably not my place to ask you that but... I've noticed the sadness in your eyes and something tells me that there's more to it. It's not something that can easily be fixed. So, if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you. But don't feel pressured, it's your choice after all." Felix debated if he should tell you what has been bothering him since he really couldn't make out how your reaction would be. This was a secret that needed to be kept as such and the boy was very aware of that. But he felt that he could trust you and honestly; he really wanted to get it off his chest. So, Felix sat up and took a deep breath "Promise me you won't freak out?" You just looked at him, confused as to why he would suspect that reaction from you but you gave him an assuring smile "I promise." The blonde stretched out his palm and after a few seconds you saw a pretty blue flame lighting up the darkness around you. It left you in awe and you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

There was a legend about an ancient folk called "Lumina", it's said they had special powers such as lighting up flames with their palms. They were superior in reading people-you could never fool them. The Lumina were an extremely peaceful folk, very empathic and loving, which made them stand out from the most people. Although you would think of these powers as a blessing, they were pretty much a curse. Other folks were jealous of the Lumina's perfection and used this, as a reason to murder them. That's why it's believed that the Lumina don't exist anymore.

Therefore, your amazement made itself visible on your face as you've realized that one of them was sitting right beside you. But instead of screaming out of shock, you slowly reached for his hand. "Can I? Is it gonna hurt me?" Felix quickly came out of his trance, stunned from your positive reaction. Shaking his head, he explained "No, it's only gonna hurt you, if I decide so." Touching the flame cautiously, you only felt warmth, it was truly intriguing. It warmed his heart, seeing how amazed you were. "You know, usually people are afraid of me and call me a monster if I show them my powers." You felt your heart shatter and looked him in the eyes, you could clearly see the pain in them. "Is that why you ran away?" you quietly asked. The boy nodded "It started when I turned 18. If I got too emotional my hands would form blue flames and hurt those around me, I had no control over it whatsoever. That's when I realized I wasn't normal, at first I thought something was terribly wrong with me. But after a lot of research-"" You've realized you're a Lumina." you ended his sentence.

With big eyes he stared at you "So you knew about them? There's almost no information, even in the internet." You nodded, a couple of hair strands falling out of place "Yes, but I love legends and this one is no different. So I've spent a lot of time doing research." You truly had the talent of surprising him, he has never met someone like you before. It sounded cliché, but right now, he thought you were one of a kind.

"Thank you for trusting me." you said. At which he only slyly grinned "Well, as a Lumina I can read people like an open book. Sooo-" you hit him on the shoulder. "You're a brat." The blonde fake winced and clutched his chest "Oww, right there." Before you could scoff at his antics, he quickly dropped his behavior, looking into your eyes and suddenly you felt numb under his gaze. "I also have to thank you." A few seconds passed before you spoke up, tilting your head. "For what, precisely?" He leaned in, his voice dropping a few octaves, whispering in your ear. "For being here."

Giving you one last glance, he stood up, dusting off his jeans, completely aware of the effect he had on you. "So, want to know more about my abilities or what?" Still in shock because of his duality, you blinked a few times as though by that your blush would go away.

Clearing your throat, you also stood up from the blanket, following him. "But only if I'll hear your singing afterwards." you pouted at him. "Whatever makes you happy." Felix responded while ruffling your hair.

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Hello, Fishies!-- Viago (WWDITS) x Reader

Prompt: got the idea for this from @alphabetaus​‘s Aquarium AU prompt batch!

Warnings; swearing

Word Count; 1.4k

Notes; this isn’t the best fic I’ve written but it’s alright lol

    You and Nick had been friends since you were in diapers. Sure, he could occasionally be an asshole, but you went through thick and thin together. You were actually roommates when he was bitten, so you were the one stuck taking care of him as he made his transformation. You, understandably, freaked the fuck out. It took some time to wrap your mind around it, but his new behaviors soon grew bearable enough for you. It didn't take Nick long to introduce you to his vampire buddies. He brought you and Stu along to one of their usual clubbing nights, an idea you found hilarious. The evening ended up being more fun than you could've possibly imagined. The vampires quickly adopted you and Stu into their group, assuring the both of you that you were welcome at their flat at any time.

    It had become a sort of personal mission for you and Stu to introduce the vampires to technology. The poor things were clueless to anything modernized. So, the two of you spent a lot of time at their place. Probably more than you did in your own home. During this time, you got the closest to Viago. He tended to follow you around like a lost puppy. He seemed utterly fascinated by everything you did.

    One day, you were lazing on their couch, mindlessly browsing the internet on your laptop while Stu set up a TV. Deacon and Vlad were asking Stu a million questions about televisions and cable, and Viago kept his attention trained on you. He was so focused on watching you type, he nearly jumped out of his seat when you gasped. You excitedly tapped your laptop's screen. "Look! The aquarium is having a glow in the dark event tonight!" Viago's brows knit together.

    "What's that?"

    "Glow in the dark events are the best! Basically, they turn most of the main lights off and just have black lights on to make everything more glowey. They usually hand out a ton of glowsticks, too!" Viago shook his head, and you realized that he probably still had no idea what you were talking about.

    "No, the other thing."

    "Oh, an aquarium?" Viago nodded, and you sat up straight. "You've never been to the aquarium before? Then you've never really lived life! We've gotta go. Come on, go put your normal human clothes on." Viago started to protest, wanting more of an explanation, but you wanted it to be a surprise. You pulled him up from the couch and pushed him toward his room. "You'll find out when we get there. Go change so we're not late!"

    After finally finding a somewhat normal looking outfit for Viago, the two of you raced to the aquarium. You could hardly contain your excitement, feeling like you were back in grade-school on your way to a field trip. You pulled open the door and dramatically bowed. "Good evening, sir. Please, come inside for a night of amazement!" Viago laughed at your antics.

    "Why, thank you! I gladly accept your invitation." You paid the entry fees and gave Viago a handful of glowsticks. The two of you geared up with the neon-colored bracelets and necklaces before linking arms and following the glowing path through the aquarium. Viago lit up like a child at Christmas. He dragged you in every direction, asking what everything was. "Look! This sign says 'juvenile stingrays.'" You leaned forward, looking into the pool. You smiled as one swam close enough for you to touch. Viago looked mortified. "Are you sure you should be doing that? What if it bites you?" You snorted.

    "They're harmless little babies, Vi! Plus, they're used to this. Look, they like it!" The small stingray stayed in place as you pet it. Viago didn't look convinced. Worry was still etched into his features. You carefully took his hand in yours. Before he had a chance to ask what you were doing, you pulled his hand into the water. "Watch, the lil guy will swim right up to you for you to pet him." True to your word, the stingray swam up to yours and Viago's hands. You kept your hand on top of Viago's, gently guiding him on how to pet the creature without spooking it. Viago opened and closed his mouth for a moment, and you raised a brow at him. He finally blurted,

    "I like this." You laughed, bumping your shoulder into him.

    "See! I told you this wasn't so bad. They're actually pretty sweet."

    "No, I like... this." He kept his gaze trained on your joined hands. "With you." You could feel the heat creeping up your neck and into your face. You were flustered, to say the least, and didn't know how to respond. I mean, how do you respond to a several-hundred-year-old vampire saying he likes holding your hand? Viago pursed his lips for a moment before asking, "Do you like it?" You couldn't help the nervous laughter that bubbled in your chest. You finally met his gaze.

    "Yeah, I do." Viago beamed.

    "Wonderful! We shall hold hands more often, then." He froze. Something over your shoulder caught his eye. Before you had a chance to ask what was wrong, his grip tightened on your hand. "Look at the big sharks!" Viago immediately started dragging you towards the large shark tank.

    The two of you explored nearly every inch of the aquarium. On your way home, Viago kept your hand in his. He babbled about how much he enjoyed the evening and wished to return. "We should get an aquarium installed in the flat!" You couldn't help but laugh at his sudden outburst.

    "Or, maybe, you could start with just one fish and work your way up." Viago hummed in agreement. An idea popped into your mind, and you started pulling him down a different street. You arrived at your destination just as one of the workers was walking out of the shop. "Hey! I'm really sorry, but is there any way you could wait a few minutes to close? We need to get a fish. It's important." The guy raised a brow at you. "You see, uh, we just got one for our son the other day, and it died. The little guy's heart will be broken if he finds out. That's why we need a new fish to replace it with." The worker sighed.

    "Alright, come on in, but you've got ten minutes." You quickly said your thanks and pulled Viago into the store. The vampire was overjoyed at the idea of getting a fish to take home. He ventured around the store, looking at all the different types of fish, while you gathered the needed supplies.

    "(Y/N), look at these-- they're so fancy! Hello, fishies!" Viago ended up choosing a red and white betta. On the rest of the walk home, he carefully cradled the bag containing the fish in his arms. You could tell something was bothering him. He was being unnaturally quiet. You stopped him before he walked in the front door of the flat.

    "Viago, what's wrong? You're being way too quiet."

    "Oh, I was just... uh, thinking about the story you told the shopkeeper." Your brows knit together. He lowered his voice. "About us having a son." Your face flushed. You didn't think about your words before they came out of your mouth. It seemed like a valid excuse to keep the shop open for a few extra minutes. The two of you awkwardly stood on the flat's doorstep for a while, neither of you knowing what to say next. You cleared your throat.

    "Well, we do have a son now." This time, Viago was confused until you pointed at the fish. A smile crept its way across his features. "And our son needs a place to sleep, so why don't we get his tank set up?"

    It didn't take long for the both of you to set up the fish tank. You were quite proud of it, actually. The fish seemed to enjoy it too. You sat on the floor next to Viago, both watching the fish swim around its tank. "Our son needs a name," Viago announced. He inched closer to the tank to better inspect the fish. "What do you suppose suits him?"

    "Gilburt the Fancy." Viago chuckled before nodding.

    "Yes, I think that works well. Hello, Gilburt the Fancy!"

~*~*~

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--

Also gonna tag @donutwheel and @honorarytenenbaum​ since they commented on my last post :)

[thebeautyoffanfics]

se!saeran x gn!reader

a/n: I’m really really sorry for taking so long on requests,,, I’m working on them slowly, but I’m in a sort of weird mental state, so I wrote this mainly for comfort. Thanks for understanding ^^

Pfff, as i’m writing this, my internet has cut like 6 times- honestly i’m just trying to write comfortttttt

warnings: negative thoughts/feelings

word count: 1,869

Your stomach ached, as you wrapped your arms around your torso. So many thoughts flooded your head that it was beginning to make you feel physically ill. Your brain was screaming at you- things you should be doing, things you regretted doing, how lazy you were being, how tired you felt, how overwhelming every little feeling, sound, light, and texture was to your senses. Yet, all you could do was sit there. You wanted to cry, but, despite everything you felt, you were… numb. Where was the point in crying? It was best to accept everything as it was.

Though you told yourself it was best to accept such a defeat, there was a part of you that was well aware that you were close to some sort of breaking point. All day was spent doing things- all day for several weeks now, you spent your time working. Working, worrying, running errands. Still, every day seemed to bring another thing to do- another problem- more drama, none of which you could control. Everything was out of your control.

You nearly jumped at hearing your phone ring. Grabbing it, you were half-ready to give some sort of curt answer, before realizing that it was just Saeran. Holding the phone to your ear, you gave the most cheerful answer you could.

“Hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N)... I was just… wondering how you were.”

Of course, you weren’t doing your best. Knowing that, but also knowing that Saeran probably couldn’t afford to bother himself with your problems, you told him “I’m pretty good. How about you?”

“I’m fine… my stupid brother went into town, so I was thinking about walking to your place. Not like I… really feel like seeing you in particular, I’m just….”

“It’s alright. You don’t need an excuse to come visit me, you know? I’m decent, and I’ve probably got ice cream in the fridge.”

Saeran paused on the other line, and you could vaguely hear the sound of boots zipping up. “Right then. See you in a few.”

“Okay. Love you, see you in a few.”

“............” He whispered, despite the fact that no one was in his home nor yours, “love you too.”

The phone call ended, and you sat back, staring at the ceiling. Saeran was comforting to be around, sure, but… were you going to be comforting for him? You had no energy left. Just making yourself talk on the phone felt like too much work, you honestly just wanted to sleep… sleep for a long time. Maybe a month of two. A year or… ten.

“Alas, life goes on,” You whispered to yourself, attempting to lighten the mood. Forcing yourself to stand, you walked to the bathroom and grabbed a hairbrush, deciding to make yourself somewhat decent for Saeran.

You glanced at the mirror, pulling the brush through your tangled hair. The knots were tough, probably due to running your hands stressfully through your hair so often, and you watched as your face contorted in pain.

“You’re so… ugly,” You sighed to yourself, continuing to brush your hair. “You can’t even handle brushing your hair… it’s not hard. It doesn’t hurt that bad… you’re fine, you know? Just suck it up...”

Sighing, you tossed the hairbrush back onto the counter, then fixed your hair a bit with your hands. “Talking to yourself, huh… not even for a fun conversation. Just… complaining.”

You began your walk towards the kitchen, aiming to grab some medicine to calm your upset stomach. As you stepped, the thoughts continued- upsetting, self-deprecating thoughts, on top of impulsive ones. It was all… too much. Even as you swallowed the pain relieving pill, so many thoughts ran through your brain. Throw this, hit that, do this, clean that. You wanted to pull out your freshly-brushed hair, as you instead opted to chug the water bottle held in your hand.

“Giving your kidneys a boost?” A familiar voice asked, a joking tone laced in the comment. You nearly jumped again, calling yourself lucky for having just finished drinking the water.

“I drink plenty of water, actually. Maybe not today, but I usually do.”

You gently wrapped an arm around the tall boy, feeling him lightly return it, before the both of you sat back quickly. “Saeyoung always tells me that you should drink water every day. Not just when you feel like it.”

“And does Saeyoung follow that?”

Saeran laughed, “does Phd Pepper count?”

“Nope. So, his comments are invalid.”

“I didn’t take them seriously to begin with, sooo…”

You smiled, tossing the empty bottle into the recycling bin, before looking back over at Saeran. “So? What brings you here? Ice cream, a movie, popcorn?”

He shrugged, grabbing a bowl and a spoon, then making his way towards your freezer. He took out the ice cream container, before preparing himself a bowl. “...Want any?” He asked, not bothering to look at you as he did so.

“No, thank you though.”

"Sure… it’s your ice cream, so you don’t really need to thank me.”

After having made his bowl of ice cream, you found yourself resting next to Saeran on the couch. A comfortable silence ensued, and you finally felt at some sort of peace. Though your eyes were shut, at feeling a gaze on you, you peeked them open, catching a glimpse of Saeran as he quickly turned his head. Sitting up a bit, you smiled at his dismissiveness. He’d die before admitting it, but he had been looking at you… you felt lucky. He could look at you without disgust- something not even you could do to yourself.

“What’re you thinking?” You asked after a few minutes. Though the silence was enjoyable, his voice wasn’t something you could complain about either. Honestly, all you wanted to do was hear his sweet voice talk about whatever he pleased, and maybe fall asleep to him talking. The last part was less likely, but-

“You’re acting dumb,” He muttered, turning and shoving a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as you noted the pout on his face. You swallowed the ice cream, your heart rate picking up, worrying that you did something wrong.

“What do you mean?”

“See, you’re already getting defensive. It’s,” He paused a bit, and you didn’t bother speaking, knowing it was hard for him to put things to words. He didn’t want to seem too worried, although it was clear he cared. “It’s weird. You haven’t…” His voice grew quiet, as a pink spread across his face, “texted me as much. And I’ve had to initiate half the calls- and even then, you sometimes don’t pick up. And then, your texts are all quick and boring. I’m not… the best at picking up on things, but I can tell something’s wrong. So, just tell me. That’s what I’m here for, you idiot.”

You sat there, unable to form any words. You hadn’t thought that anything seemed wrong. You were… your normal self, right? He’d been worried just because you… couldn’t keep up with your own mind. His concern was your fault, despite the fact that all you wanted to do was focus on him. To help him. This wasn’t help-

“Stop. Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking. I don’t like that look on your face. You don’t need to force yourself or anything, just… I’m... here. It’s not a problem or a bother or anything.”

Like that, so many of those negative thoughts were contradicted. Your head hurt a bit, as you felt your heart ache. Tears filled your eyes, as everything finally came crashing down. Letting out a sob you were sure was ugly, you felt Saeran tense up next to you. Maybe he wasn’t expecting such a reaction- maybe it was overwhelming for him- still, despite the fact that he could turn away, despite the fact that he didn’t need to care, he wrapped his arms tightly around you. He began to rock you back and forth a bit, petting your head gently, as you had often done for him.

Normally, Saeran struggled to start physical contact. He struggled to deal with it, always needing you to slowly initiate touch. He’d gotten better about it, but just having him hold you so suddenly and so tightly, so comfortingly, made your heart ache further. He’d worked so hard, and, in that moment, you were so proud of him. You felt so much love for him that you were sure your heart was going to burst. And, the way he was treating you made you sure that, even if it wasn’t you yourself, there was someone out there who loved you… Saeran was that someone.

After a few minutes of Saeran holding you as you cried, you found the energy to sit back, wiping your eyes, almost embarrassed of the mess you were sure you’d become. He reached out, wiping some tears for you, before squishing your face slightly. His face was red, eyes slightly watery, as he made direct eye contact.

“Don’t hide your feelings from me… you convince me to tell you things, so you should tell me. If I’m comfortable around you… then, you… should be comfortable around me. It’s not like I have any room to judge you.”

Taking a shaky breath, you leaned back into the hug, the side of your face squishing against his chest. “Can I just… sit here for a bit…? Tell me about your day, please.”

Saeran hesitated, before shifting the two of you, leaning against the couch so that you’d also be reclining a bit. Once settled, he took in a strangely calm breath, before speaking. “Well… when I woke up, Saeyoung said he was making breakfast. It smelled bad though, and I realized he’d used Phd Pepper instead of water in the pancake mix… which, I guess was his way of saying ‘hey, Saeran, you make breakfast today’. So, I made normal pancakes. Actually, I put some… little chocolate chips in them, like the kind we got last time we ate breakfast-”

His voice continued on, as you listened to him describe every detail of his day. A sort of calmness enveloped your heart, along with exhaustion enveloping your body. There in Saeran’s arms, everything felt… safe. Nothing could hurt you, not even the problems, drama, and work that you had just panicked over. There… was no rush to do things. If you took things slowly, maybe… just maybe, it’d all work out. With those thoughts in mind, and Saeran’s voice in the background, you finally fell asleep.

---

“(Y/N)? Are you even listening?” Saeran questioned, lifting a hand from your back. As he did so, he glanced at your face, before freezing up. Realizing you were asleep, he put his hand back, sitting back in place. “They’re… asleep,” He thought, a bright blush growing on his face. Despite himself, he smiled slightly, proud that you were comfortable enough with him to fall asleep on him. He rubbed a hand up and down your back, beginning to realize how sleepy he was. As a few more moments passed, the only sound Saeran could hear being your gentle breathing, he found himself drifting off to sleep as well.

[wyofabdoms]

Undercover I Do - Chapter 3

Characters: Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: While on an undercover assignment posing as a married couple, you are attacked and nearly assaulted. Upon waking, all you remember about Javier Peña is what you remembering seeing from two photographs of the two of you posing as the happily married couple. As you struggle to regain your memories, Javi struggles with his own feelings for you.

Rating: Mature (Eventual smut)

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, fake/pretend relationship, married and undercover trope, temporary amnesia, hospitalization, blood and injury, soft Javi, brief mention of domestic Javi, mentions of some smexy stuff, unrequited feels, lots of medical things that are probably wrong but I did a five minute internet search so we’re gonna call it good, okay?

Word Count: 1982

Notes: You're awake....but what do you remember?

Read on Ao3

Every inch of your body felt like it had been smashed with a heavy hammer.  The soreness seemed to echo and reverberate up and down, through your wrists, through your calves, along your hips, up your back.  Everything was black and you sluggishly realized it was because your eyes were closed.  Based on the way your body was feeling, though, you didn’t have much desire to open your eyes.

You did anyway, feeling like Sisyphus hauling his boulder up a hill at the effort it took to simply lift your eyelids.  Blurry daylight streamed through the vinyl shades of a window.  A news program was playing on a muted television in the corner.  The parts of the room you could see were stark and sparse: clearly a hospital room.  You tried turning your head to survey the rest of the room and groaned, a shrieking thumping in your head threatening to send you right back into the blackness of unconsciousness you had just come from.  You heard rustling coming from somewhere on your other side, out of your vision; then a wizened older woman with chin length grey hair stepped into your line of sight.  She looked at you earnestly and brushed a smooth, dry palm softly across the top of your head, pushing your hair back and murmuring your name.  

You struggled to place this woman’s face….your mother?  No, that wasn’t right.  You got a maternal feeling from her, certainly, but this woman wasn’t your mother...so who was she?  Your brain grasped to remember.  

“It’s all right,” the woman spoke and her voice was gentle but commanding, calm, steady with a flint of authority.  “You’re safe.  You’ve been unconscious for a while and had a nasty head injury.  Take it slow...don’t push yourself too hard.”  As she spoke, she pressed a recessed button next to you on the hospital bed, calling for a nurse and half asking, half ordering said nurse to get the doctor down here to check on you immediately.  This woman was clearly used to having people do what she said.  She sat next to you, a comforting hand resting on your forearm.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been run over.”  Your voice croaked and something clicked in your mind.  You flicked your eyes back to the woman.  “I’m in Columbia, right?”  The woman nodded slowly, her eyes searching your face.  “Bogota?”  Another confirmation.  You carefully turned your head and stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to remember, feeling your mind spinning like tires in mud trying to get traction as you tried to remember what had landed you in this hospital bed.  A memory of this woman’s face rose in front of you, sitting behind a large desk in an office, poring over maps and files and directing yourself and others.  “Agent Dixon.”  You said, flashing your eyes back to her.  Her face appeared years younger as a smile spread on her lips and you made your own attempt at a small smile as memories of your mentor seeped into your mind, like water finding cracks in a sidewalk.

The doctor arrived then and proceeded to examine you, asking you questions about what you did and didn’t remember: names, dates, presidents.  Already confirming that you were in Columbia, you also remembered you work as a DEA agent, having been stationed here for close to two years now.  You did most of the talking while the doctor and Dixon merely asked you questions, elaborating on how you had ended up in the hospital: the DEA had been tracking a drug lord with lofty and insidious aspirations named Rafel Ortiz, an operation to capture him and his network that hadn’t gone as planned, you had been injured during the operation, though after a meaningful shared look across your hospital bed, neither Dixon nor the doctor gave any details as to said operation, nor how you had sustained your injuries.  As the doctor finished up, you lifted your hand to brush a stray piece of hair that was tickling your face beneath the bandage on your head.  Your eyes caught a glint of something on your finger.  You stopped, remembering through a fog: photographs with you in them, a warm grip on your hand, a gentle kiss on your forehead, a panic-stricken voice filled with concern calling for you to wake up, then the same husky, low voice whispering to you to sleep well, calling you “princess”.  Your eyes turned with concern from the ring on your finger to the doctor and Dixon.

“Where is he? Is he ok?”  Another shared glance between the two across your bed.  Your heart sank.  Dixon spoke quietly after a moment.

“Where is who?”

“I don’t remember his name.  The man in the pictures...he was with me in the ambulance.  Where’s my husband?”

****

Javier had managed to sleep, though certainly not well.  He knew he looked like shit as he stalked through the halls of the hospital.  He’d managed to make himself look slightly less of a mess than yesterday after a shower and change of clothes this morning, but he didn’t feel much better.  Beneath his pounding head and screaming muscles, a bubbling of worry simmered and all he wanted was to get back to the hospital and wait for his partner to open her eyes, to give him a wry smile and shoot him some teasing barb about how much worse for wear he looked than she did.  

They’d almost pulled it off, the two of them. He had felt a little ridiculous during the pre-op: having his finger measured for a ring that fit properly, posing with his partner for “engagement photos” in the small garden courtyard of the DEA office building, then changing into formal wear and recreating what would hopefully look like a sweet moment from a wedding ceremony, but was really a job of play acting in front of a blank wall in a conference room.  They’d set up in the large house on the outskirts of the city, posing as a freshly arrived expat couple, newly married and looking to supplement his international banking career by padding it with up and coming connections in the cocaine trade.  They’d “been married” for a little over two weeks, operating normally as agents and partners when on their own, but putting on a convincing performance as a newlywed couple when entertaining or meeting with Ortiz or any of his men.

Javier couldn’t lie to himself.  He had always been attracted to his partner.  She was smart, feisty, independent, strong-willed, and beautiful...oh so beautiful.  When they had first started working together he had pursued her relentlessly for a grand total of three days before she had knocked him across the face and nearly twisted his hand off when he had gotten grabby.  In no uncertain terms, she had made it crystal clear that no, she was not interested in sleeping with him, she had no desire to be a notch on anyone’s bedpost (much less his), that he was being an absolute pig for assuming that she was and that if he ever tried to grab her ass or any part of her again without permission she would shoot him in the dick.

That had been well on two years ago and thinking back, it was probably in that very moment when she had growled at him and he had stared up at her from where she had landed him on the bar floor, that he had started to fall for his partner.  After that night, he had never made another attempt to pursue her...at least not physically.  There had been times, over one too many drinks at a bar or over shitty take out or during a late night glance through the smoky haze from the cigarettes they would chain smoke, that he had seen something in her eyes.  Something that had made him pause and wonder if things had perhaps changed...if maybe the needle had moved for her, if she thought differently now.  They had been through so much together, had grown so close. But he had never been quite brave enough to ask.  And she had so often made her opinion abundantly clear on considering him merely her partner; teasing him about being able to outrun him in a foot chase, scowling in distaste whenever his amorous methods with his informants came up, screaming at him at least twice a week for over some disagreement or another.  

He had liked being “married” to her, though.  For just a little while, he had gotten a taste of what domesticity might be like for Javier Peña: jaded DEA agent.  He had liked the excuse to hold her hand at dinner in a restaurant or place his hand on the small of her back while walking...all of the moments when he could give her little touches: a brush of her cheek with the back of his hand, a kiss to her temple.  

Then there had been the moments that stirred something deeper than his interest in domesticity.  When she had sat on his lap after dinner and nibbled on his ear while he talked business with Ortiz.  When they had attended a party the drug lord had hosted and Javi had found his hands exploring the smooth planes of her body, her fingers knotted in his hair, pressing the occasional kiss to the other’s lips as they danced recklessly until the early morning hours.  He had felt like it had been real, moments like those.  As though the pretense of their undercover personas gave permission for their unspoken craving for each other to float to the surface and be reality, even if just for a little while. Kisses for the benefit of their marks had seemed to linger just a few moments longer than necessary, her lips had discovered the spot on his neck below his ear that drove him crazy and seemed to just naturally end up there whenever they had to “act” married. 

Then there had been that last night before everything had fallen apart: the two of them pressed together for a moment in panic, trying to keep themselves hidden from the suspicious gaze of Ortiz’s men...then suddenly pressed together like lovers, hands under clothes, groping and grappling for purchase on each others’ skin wherever they could find it, the smell of the plumeria trees wafting over them. Javi knew it had only been to cover the fact that they had been snooping somewhere they shouldn’t have been, but he couldn’t shake the way that moment had made him feel: as though suddenly every barrier and wall that separated he and his partner had crashed and crumbled between them.  If they hadn’t been discovered as DEA later that evening Javi wondered what might have happened when they had returned to “their” house….

No. He couldn’t let himself dwell on those kinds of “what ifs” right now.  He shook himself as he rounded the corner and spotted Dixon and the doctor standing outside your hospital door, speaking intently. As he approached, Dixon glanced at him and both of them abruptly stopped talking.

“Peña, what are you doing here?  Shouldn’t you be at the office?  I’m sure you have a report to fill out...” Javi shot her an annoyed look.

“I just wanted to stop by on my way, see how she’s doing….” He trailed off, looking back and forth between Dixon and the doctor, waiting for one or both of them to give him an update.  When none came, he irritatedly asked, “Well?….How’s she doing?”  Worry tugged at him as he saw the look that passed between them.

“Agent Peña…” Dixon said slowly. She gestured to one of the crappy plastic chairs along the wall outside the rooms.  “Have a seat.  We need to talk.”

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10,  Chapter 11,  Chapter 12,  Chapter 13

[codename-adler]

Kevin Day and his Oblivious Literature Lover, pt.V

Let’s all repeat after me: therapizing our faves helps us therapize ourselves! If Kevin can get better, maybe we all can... right? 

>>Table of Contents, TW and other parts here!

the water runs behind the bathroom door for so long that Kevin spaces out in his spot on the floor, losing himself in thoughts about the Foxhole Court (surprise, surprise)

Juliet comes out at last an hour later, freshly showered, her hair wet and springy, her face even paler than before

she goes to rummage through her tiny dresser, slow and silent like a dead walker, and pulls out multiple clothes before going back into the humidity of the bathroom

she finally comes out into the room a few minutes later, dressed in clean sweatpants and multiple t-shirts and sweaters

the one on top is a simple, XXL black hoodie with the PSU logo on the front, in washed out orange

Kevin unconsciously thinks that the blindingly bright orange Exy hoodies the Foxes have would suit her so much better

happy colors help happy thoughts, right? 

(who said that again? was it Nicky? he was probably talking about the gay flag anyways...)

Kevin is pulled from his thoughts when Juliet trudges over to her bed, lets herself fall in it and sluggishly pulls on blue fuzzy socks to warm her cold feet

he slighlty turns to look up at Juliet, and they start a staring contest from where they each sit

but Kevin soon realizes that not everything is a contest, and not everyone exists to challenge him, and Juliet isn’t the Foxes

because she barely lasts 2 seconds before lowering her gaze to her hands, shoulders tensing and fingers picking at dry skin

however, as Kevin keeps feeling out of his depth and thinks about just leaving right there and then, Juliet quietly mumbles

“If I talk, will you talk too?”

Kevin’s first thought is “I don’t have shit to say and I sure as hell wouldn’t give you dirt on me,” and it clearly shows on his face

lucky for him, Juliet’s head is still lowered, so he has time to force himself out of his fight-or-flight relfex

she isn’t the Foxes, she isn’t the Ravens, she isn’t the Foxes, she isn’t the Ravens, she-

but still, what if she is? what if this is all a scam? 

but then again, he looked for her, he found her, he spent the night, he is asking... if anyone’s nosy in all this, it’s him

it feels like at the point where he is, where they are, he’s acted far from his usual, asshole self, and he just wants to keep going... it feels good not to fight

“Yes, I will talk. If the subject stays within the limits of what I’m willing to talk about. You should do so yourself,” Kevin states, not quite softly, but not quite sharply either, like he usually does

Juliet anxiously nods, still not looking up

the silence settles back between them, the room heavy with dread, fear and awkwardness

after a while, Juliet speaks up, barely above a whisper, but in the quiet of her room, it feels like her words ring in Kevin’s ears

“If I google you right now, what am I going to find?”

and shit

anything but that

he wants to hold on so bad, just a little while more, to this nobody he’s managed to keep up with Juliet

because if she knows... then everything he’s managed to keep at bay when he’s with her will come rushing back over him, and over her too

and he doesn’t want that

it’s not shame, it’s not pride

it’s pure fear

“You are going to see very ugly things,” is all he responds, face blank and emptily staring at the wall

inside, though, it stings to say those words. because it isn’t totally the truth. exy is his pride, his reason to live, his air to breathe. but if she finds out about exy, she will also learn about the violence, the multiple “accidents”, she’ll know about Riko...

and if she knows about Riko, she’s one step closer to Riko knowing about her

“Kevin. When you say ‘ugly’, you mean you’ve had a shitty life so far, or you mean you’ve killed many people? Because you’re the man who slept on my floor all night and I’m alone, and I’m very afraid right now.”

of course he fucked it up one question in

what is he supposed to say, though? ‘Of course I’m not a murderer, but my owners are’ ? 

and the more he thinks about the correct answer to give, the more he looks like he’s searching for an excuse and the more Juliet is retreating into the corner of her bed

“Fuck, no. It means that half the cards I’ve been dealt with are extremely good, and the other half is very, very fucked up. And it’s all over the Internet. And the things that you won’t find there are the ugliest. Ugly secrets that make me even more unlikeable to my... roommates, and our classmates. A walking asshole on a stick.”

Juliet stops moving

“That’s… quite the load of bullshit, Kevin. I won’t look, okay? I promise you. But you said truth for truth. That is not a truth. But... you also said we don’t have to answer if we don’t want to. Kevin, you don’t have to. I’ll take your word that you’re not a serial killer. I’ll haunt you if you are, though. I’ll make all your spoons disappear. And kick you in your sleep.”

Kevin didn’t know how to react

it was so… easy

too easy

just like that, the subject was dropped

no pushing, no threatening knife, no mood swing

now it was his turn

somehow he could only think of Matt, of Aaron and their nights out at Eden’s, of Seth…

“Are you on drugs?” was out of his mouth before he could be careful of his tone

it sounded severe, accusing

yet Juliet did not react, not even a little bit

she just kept on looking at him, letting the silence pressure him into guiltily babbling his excuse

“I’ve seen these signs before, okay! And heard about them too. I know what addiction looks like. The sickly pale skin, the mess, the absences, the shutdowns. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what.”

“Like a wounded animal.”

his tone was harsh enough to resemble the attitude he usually reserved for the Foxes

and he knew he’d been too rough when it caused Juliet to draw in a shaky breath

“Wow, you’re really good at that… Ever considered being a detective or a life coach? You’re actually not far from the truth… Jesus,” Juliet exhaled. “I do take drugs. Antidepressants. Strong ones. And I ran out this week. I don’t have the money. You’re currently witnessing a withdrawal combined with a depressive episode. Impressive, huh?”

her voice was so devoid of emotions Kevin was reminded once again of Andrew…

except that her face was a mirror cracked open, her pain palpable in the air between them

his first instinct was to reply ‘What’s wrong with you?’, because he genuinely wanted to know why she had to take such heavy medication at her age, and why she couldn’t afford it anymore, but he willed himself to let the words die on his tongue; try not to be a fuckup this time, will you?

however, before Kevin could formulate his thought correctly, the silence overworked Juliet too and she filled it with her story...

“I was diagnosed with dysthymia a couple of months ago. I’ve basically been stuck in a dark cloud since I was like, 15. Never went away. Wasn’t ‘serious’ enough to get medical attention, like the docs said. Fast forward last winter, I had a complete nervous breakdown at my workplace. It was pretty ugly. 911, ambulance, psych ward, psych eval, pills, and other… things. Oh, and a fuckload of bills. Even my scholarship doesn’t cover all of that. So I tried to make my prescriptions last longer by taking my medication every other day, which… Well, not recommended by your local psychiatrist. Last weekend I had to choose between groceries or pills. Now my body is missing its drugs and I’m missing major classes. So…  Ta-da…” she told Kevin, her arms slowly moving as if to present a show.

Kevin was speechless

not because he was shocked, or because he pitied her, or because he was disgusted

he was speechless because of the anger that choked him from inside

he felt such a rage at the idea that Juliet couldn’t receive the help she needed, the care she deserved

he was speechless because as anger consumed him, he realized that it was the same anger he’d felt when Jean was given back to him in pieces

he was speechless because he cared too much, now

he hadn’t even seen it coming

if Juliet were to be pulled away now, it’d feel like pulling every stitches he ever had

and all it had taken was a few months

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 7)

Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar?

Read these first    Prologue   Part 1    Part 2   Part 3    Part 4   Part 5  Part 6

**

“So, how’s the family?” Jeff asked.

Harry sat on his bed, holding his phone in front of him as he chatted with his manager over facetime, “Mum’s good. Gem’s coming up tomorrow, I think.”

“Well, that’s good,” he said. “What’s it like being back home.”

“It’s uh… just what I needed,” he smiled.

And he meant what he said. Being back home and being with you was exactly what he needed.

“What happened,” Jeff asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“You have that look on your face,” he said. “The one where something happened and you’re not telling me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Except you do,” Jeff said, “Now, tell me.”

Harry rolled his, “Fine, if you must know. I’ve reconnected with an old friend during my time here.”

“A friend, or a friend,” he said.

“The latter,” he sighed, dramatically.

“So, then you’re seeing someone?” He asked.

“Technically, yes,” Harry answered. “We’re taking things slow.”

“Good,” he smiled. “You need someone special in your life.”

“She’s definitely that someone,” Harry whispered.

**

“Wow, you’re making fabulous progress,” your agent said. “I’ll say I was a little worried about you heading home, but it seemed to work some magic.”

“I guess you can say that,” you smiled.

“Have you thought of a title, yet?” She asked.

“Um… no I haven’t,” you sighed.

“Well, we still have time,” she said. “Oh, one more thing before we get off here.”

“Okay,” you said. “What’s up?”

“The producers should have the final cast list by the New Year,” she said.

“Really?” You smiled.

“Yep,” she nodded. “They’re finalizing the screenplay soon and it’ll be sent over for you to look at it.”

“Oh, wow,” you said. “I was expecting that.”

“Hey, when they came to us we told them we wanted as much input as we could have,” she said.

“That’s true,” you said. “I’m really happy with everything so far.”

“Me too,” she said. “So, if everything is okayed soon, filming should start by the spring.”

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” you smiled. “I never thought… I never thought one of my books would be made into a film.”

“Well, you better get used to it, love,” she said. “If this one goes well, then I’m sure your other’s will be made soon after.”

“Thank you again for everything,” you smiled. “I really wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

“Hey, I’m just your voice. You bring the magic,” she smiled. “I better let you go.”

“Okay, talk to you soon,” you smiled.

**

Later that night, you were getting ready for a Christmas party. You were invited by a friend to meet up at a local pub for a little get together. You told Harry about it and since it was a mutual friend group, he was happy to join you. It has been so long since you’ve done your hair and makeup and worn actual clothes and not just different forms of pajamas.

You went into the house where Harry was waiting. You smiled seeing him dressed in a t- shirt and a pair of trousers with a cardigan over top.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled, helping you into your coat.

“Compared to how I’ve looked the past few days, I believe it,” you joked.

“You always look beautiful,” he said.

“Not possible,” you said. “Everyone has their off days where they look gross.”

“True, but to be you’re always beautiful,” he smiled.

“Yeah, you just haven’t seen me trying to meet a deadline and I’ve literally not showered in like a few days, my hair’s a mess, and my clothes have stains on them because I didn’t bother changing them,” you said.

“That uh… sounds scary,” he winced.

“Ready to run for the hills, yet?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Not even close,” he smirked, opening the door for the two of you to head out to the car.

When you arrived at the pub, most everyone was already there. Harry placed his hand on your lower as you two walked inside. As soon as everyone saw you, they all shouted and rushed over to hug you two.

“The gang's back together!” One of them shouted.

You laughed, shaking your head, even though it was true. It had been ages since everyone had been back home, you were always missing someone, but that night everyone was there and it was just like old times. Throughout the night, you and Harry had gotten separated as you two were talking to different sides of the group.

“Man, Y/N is looking fit,” one of the guys said.

“Yeah, she is,” another said.

Harry sipped his drink as he waited to see where they were going with this.

“I can’t believe you broke it off with her,” one of them added.

“I know, I know,” he sighed. “I fucked up.”

“Wait, you dated Y/N?” Harry asked. “When?”

“You didn’t know?” They said.

“No,” he shook his head.

“Yeah, we dated almost a year, about two years ago,” he said.

“Was it serious?” Harry asked.

“I mean, it was more casual than serious,” he told him.

“Interesting,” Harry said, looking over at you.

“Why don’t you go over there and see if there’s still feelings there. You seemed to be very satisfied when you were with her,” the friend smirked.

“I might,” the guy said. “She looks like she could use some tension release.”

That’s it. Harry had heard enough. He downed the rest of his drink and pushed through the group he was talking to. He was pissed. He wasn’t sure if it was the thought of those guys who were supposedly his friends talking about you like that, or if it was because he was jealous that someone else was not only talking about you, but had been with you like that. Oh and then there was the whole, you failed to tell him you dated one of the guys you grew up with.

“Hey, Harry,” you said.

“We’re leaving,” he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What? Why? We just got here.”

“Yeah, we’ll if we stay here much longer, I can’t promise I won’t shove my fist into someone’s face,” he said. “So, either we leave or I push someone across the pub.”

“Um, excuse me,” you said, pulling him to the other corner of the pub. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Graham were together?” He spat out.

You sighed running your hands over your face, “Because that was over two years ago. I didn’t think it mattered and it’s not like we’ve really been on the topic of discussing our exes.”

“But he’s not just an ex! He’s our friend! Someone I’ve been spending time with!” He snapped.

“Oh you mean someone else you’ve spent time with over the past six years, but couldn’t ever spend time with me!” You snapped.

“Seriously? You’re throwing that back up in my face? We’ve been over this already,” he snarled.

“Because you’re yelling at me because you’re jealous that someone had the fucking balls to ask me out and actually be with me. We both have exes. We both have past relationships. If this is how you’re going to react at the thought of someone else being with me, then fuck you! I might have been in love with you for my entire life, but I didn’t just wait around for you to finally want me. And I know you weren’t waiting around either because all of your past relationships are posted over the fucking internet for the world to see!” You snarled back.

Harry jerked back at your words.

“Yeah, maybe I should have told you about Graham. But you want to get jealous over that because you might occasionally spend time with him and let’s be honest. You’ve never spent any one on one time with him, ever. You’re not that close to him. But for me, all I have to do is google your name and the first thing I’m going to see is everyone you’ve ever been linked to in the past ten years. I’ve had to deal with that for a fucking decade and I’m always going to have to deal with that. But you? You can’t handle my ex just because he happens to be in our childhood friend group? You’re right, you should leave, but I’m staying. I’ll get my own ride back,” you sniffled.

“Y/N, wait,” he said, reaching out for you as you walked past him.

**

A few hours later, you got out of the car and walked the long way around to the tiny house. You honestly don’t know why you stayed after your fight with Harry because you were miserable the rest of the night. It also didn’t help that you kept throwing back shots. You pulled your coat around you tighter as you walked through the backyard. You were exhausted and realized you really needed to pee.

You groaned knowing you would have to go into the house and you seriously debated on just finding a tree somewhere and be done with it. But it was too cold for that, so you snuck yourself inside. You didn’t want to see Harry, not yet. You were still annoyed and upset over what had happened. In a way, you both overreacted, but both of your feelings were valid.

You knew if you found out he hooked up with someone from here, you would probably be just as upset and jealous. But it still didn’t make it right. You got to the bathroom, sneaking inside, and being as quick as possible. Afterwards, you washed your hands, barely turning on the water, and drying them off before heading back outside.

However, you were stopped by the voice of the very person you didn’t want to see at that moment.

“Can we talk?” Harry whispered from his doorway.

“I think we’ve done enough talking for one night,” you mumbled.

“Y/N, please,” he begged. “I don’t want to end the night like this.”

You sighed, “Fine,” you said, pushing yourself into his room.

“Are you drunk?” He asked.

“Hard to tell,” you said, jumping onto his bed. “I had a few shots… some food and some water… so I’m probably like 80% drunk right now.”

“Lovely,” he mumbled.

“Hey, you wanted to talk,” you pointed at him. “I had every intention of still being mad at you.”

“Which you should be because I acted like an asshole,” he said.

“Acceptance is always the first step,” you giggled.

“Bloody hell, you’re a giggly drunk,” he shook head.

“I would love to confirm that, but I don’t have enough experience,” you giggled.

“Maybe we should hold off on this conversation,” he sighed. “You need to sleep this off.”

“Ugh, fine,” you said. “Fucking make up your mind.”

“Where are you going?” He asked, when you started getting up off the bed.

“To my room,” you said.

“You’re not sleeping out there like this,” he said. “You’re sleeping in here.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m a big girl, Harold,” you said, poking him in the chest.

“You’re a drunk girl and I don’t trust you out there by yourself,” he said. “You’re staying in here. If you don’t want me to sleep in here, fine. I’ll go to the other room.”

“I don’t even have clothes! I’m not sleeping in this outfit,” you whined.

“Then borrow some of mine,” he said, pulling some out of his suitcase.

“Your mood sure has changed,” you mumbled.

“It’s because I realized I overreacted,” he sighed. “You were right. I was jealous and upset because… I don’t want to think or picture you being with someone else. I know you have a past and I’m sorry I let it get to me… I just…”

You groaned, “I don’t feel so good,” you quickly got up from the bed, racing towards the bathroom where you empty all of your stomach contents into the toilet.

Harry sighed, following and sitting down beside you, holding your hair. When you were done, you leaned against the wall, wiping your mouth with the wet washcloth Harry had given you.

“The thing with Graham…” you sighed. “That only happened…”

“Hey, you don’t have to justify yourself,” he said.

“No, I need you to know,” you sighed. “It wasn’t serious with him. It was never serious with anyone. I tried to let myself, but I was never fully into the relationship. The only reason I got with Graham is because he was there…. I knew him… and he didn’t want anything serious either.”

“What do you mean by he was there?” Harry asked.

“I went… I went to one of your shows,” you whispered. “I thought maybe… maybe if you saw me there, you would have to talk to me. I texted Gemma, seeing if she would be there, and she told me she was. She was going to get me backstage and everything to surprise you. But-”

“But what?” He asked.

“You were with her,” you whispered. “Your ex. You seemed so happy and in love. You looked at her the way I always wanted you to look at me. My heart broke into a million pieces because up until then I really thought maybe we had a chance. Even if it had already been a few years since we spoke. So, instead ruining that, I just… left. Gemma tried to stop me, but I kept going. That was when she realized I was in love with you.”

“Gemma knew?” He whispered. “Gemma knew you were there and never said anything to me.”

“I asked her not to,” you told him. “She felt horrible for omitting the truth from you, but I told her it was for the best.”

“Maybe it was,” he admitted. “I don’t know how I would have reacted seeing you there.”

You didn’t respond other than wiping fallen tears from your eyes. Harry scooted over to sit closer to you.

“I wouldn’t get too close,” you mumbled.

“I don’t care,” he whispered, pushing hair out of your face.

“We can’t change our past, right? We can’t go back in time and do things over, but we can do whatever it takes to make sure our present and future are what we want them to be,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” you mumbled.

“And I’m sorry I yelled at you causing you to yell at me,” he whispered.

You laid your head on his shoulder, “I’m sleepy.”

“Then let’s get you back to bed. We can finish this in the morning,” he said.

He got up from where the two of you were sitting on the tiled bathroom floor. He reached down, picking you up like it was nothing, and carried you into his bedroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning your head against his chest, as he carried you. You placed you on his bed before getting the clothes he had picked out for you and handing them to you.

He turned around while you undressed yourself before pulling his clothes over your body. Once he knew you were finished, he looked down at you.

“Stay in here,” you whispered.

“You sure?” He asked.

You nodded, pulling the blanket down for him to join you.

“Mum’s probably going to kill me in the morning,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you. “Or throw a box of condoms at my head.”

You giggled, “Those might come in handy one day if you’re lucky.”

“Is that a promise?” He smirked.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out,” you said.

He laughed, shaking his head before planting a kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” you whispered back before closing your eyes and falling into a drunken sleep.

**

SORRRY Again for the super late update. I hope to have Part 8 posted tomorrow at an earlier time. :)

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Scenario: You wear a rock groups’ shirt to their concert and fans tease you

This was requested to my messages and the person wishes to remain anonymous so I don’t have a screen shot of the request ^^ But they wanted something where the reader gets tickets to a BTS concert last minute and doesn’t have time to change so they wear a rock group’s t-shirt to the concert and are teased by fans, but with a happy ending of course. 

It was a lazy day for you. Nothing was planned, and you were lounging around the house in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from your favorite rock group. You were scrolling through social media, seeing BTS posting about how excited they were to perform tonight in your city. You wanted to go so badly but sadly tickets had sold out quicker than your internet could keep up with. You locked your phone and set it face down on the table, staring up at the ceiling and realizing within just a few short hours they would be performing in front of tens of thousands of army. You were wishing you could be one of them when a loud frantic knock rapped on your door. You got up and opened it, only to be dragged out of your home by your best friend. 

“Y/n we gotta go now!”

“What? Why what are you talking about? Where are we going?” 

“To see BTS!” You stop walking and freeze in your tracks, staring at your friend with a dumbfounded expression. 

“I’m sorry what did you just say?”

“I got tickets last minute! So we’re going to see BTS now we only have a short about of time to get there, get parking and get checked in so let’s go!” 

“At least let me put my shoes on first!” You run back inside and quickly lace up your shoes, not having any time to change out of what you were already wearing. You jump in the car and head over to the venue. The speed with which your friend gets you there is astounding. 

You are standing in line waiting with the other army to get into the venue when you notice a group of girls staring at you. You make eye contact with one of them and don’t miss the sneer that forms on her face as she eyeballs you. You ignore her and go back to talking to your friend when suddenly you see her heading right for you. You roll your eyes already anticipating whatever she has to say isn’t going to be friendly if the looks she was giving you were any indication. 

“Can I help you?” She stares at your shirt and you can already tell where this is going. 

“Yeah. How about you name 5 BTS songs?” 

“How about you mind your own business and I’ll mind mine.” You walk away from her and approach the security table to have your bag checked. One of the staff from the venue was watching this whole interaction. She saw the group of girls pointing and laughing at you, saying that you probably weren’t even a fan and just came to say you’ve been to a BTS concert and brag about it to others. You didn’t witness this part. But the staff that did were none too kind with the way they threw her bag on the table and sorted through every little thing she had, holding her up twice as long. You turned around and saw the frustrated look on her face, chuckling to yourself as you headed for your section.

Your friend turns to you and nudges your shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t let them get to you okay? This is your day to be happy and celebrate.” You nod and smile, just feeling glad that you finally get to see your favorite group in person. You stand in line to wait for a bottle of water, and when you head to your section you feel your heart drop. She’s in front of you. Her whole friend group is. And when they see you coming the smirk on all their faces tells you they are going to make sure you don’t enjoy your night at all. 

“Ya! Are you serious? Someone actually said that to one of our army? The audacity! Our fans should treat each other with kindness how dare those mean girls do that? Makes me so mad. If I see that fan in the crowd today I’m gonna make sure they know how much they mean to us. Are you not allowed to listen to other peoples’ music just because you’re a fan of ours? And another thing-”

“Jin calm down we’re about to go on stage!” Namjoon scolds him, putting his leader voice on and Jin grumbles. 

“I’m just saying. You can’t be mean to your fellow army like that. I won’t stand for it.” 

“But you know we can’t show special attention to any fans, hyung.” Jungkook mentions. 

“Rules be damned. When have I ever been one to listen to our managers? This is Jin Hit entertainment as far as I’m concerned.” Sejin clears his throat and glances at Jin from he corner of the room. 

“I mean um..okay I better be quiet now.” Sejin lets out a chuckle and shakes his head, but there is a fondness to it that lets Jin know he’s not seriously upset with him. 

“You guys are on in 5! Get ready to go!” Everything falls into a smooth rhythm after this. The VCR’s begin playing, they all stand in a huddle and get ready to do what they love most. 

The moment BTS comes out on stage you can’t see anything. Because that girl has decided that sitting on her friend’s shoulders to block your view was a mature thing to do. You are so fed up at this point that you don’t even bother to put up a fight. Your friend tries to maneuver you both in the crowd so you can get past them and see, but when you even get close you are shoved back. You sigh in frustration and in the brief moment you are looking at the stage you lock eyes with Jimin who notices the exasperated expression on your face. He shakes his finger at the girls and mouths “Don’t push!”. She doesn’t seem to care much as the only thing she is concerned with is the fact that Jimin noticed her. You roll your eyes and try to move away but are blocked again. Jimin walks up to one of the security guards who points at the girl and tells her to get down. This time she listens, although it just seems to make her even more mad at you and results in more pushing. It’s a concert. You understand that pushing is inevitable but this is just getting ridiculous at this point. It doesn’t sneak past Namjoon’s gaze and when he comes up to the mic after their ments he looks right at the girl in front of you and says 

“And please. For your safety. Do not push each other. Be kind to your neighbor they are a part of this family too.” He says it with a finality that seems to finally get through to her thick skull because she stops pushing you after that. Although she does keep holding her phone up and army bomb up to partially block your view of the stage. At least you get to see the members now every once in a while. 

The rest of the night passes by in a haze of happiness and joy. Part of you still can’t believe that you’re here tonight watching your favorite group perform. And before you know it the night is coming to a close and they’re on their last song. It’s during Jin’s ending speech that he finally decides he’s going to speak up. 

“Everyone. Thank you so much for being here tonight! You know we love and adore our army so much but please remember to be kind to each other. Our fans are allowed to enjoy listening to other groups, if someone behind you is shorter than you, don’t purposefully try to block their view of the stage. And especially do not push each other. You could hurt someone.” You see her shoulders sag and you can’t help but finally feel a sense of victory over her. And with that the smile is plastered right back on Jin’s face as he goes into asking if everyone had a good time, and that he can’t wait to come back and see all the fans again. 

You enjoy the last song to the fullest, having a blast and dancing and singing your heart out. After the concert is over you take your time before you begin to file out of the venue, wanting to relive all the memories again while you wait for the crowd to clear out. You are about to leave when you are suddenly stopped by a security guard. 

“Excuse me.”

“Um.. yes?” 

“Some of the staff asked me to give this to you.” You are handed an envelope and are about to open it when he stops you. “I was told to tell you don’t open it until you get back to your car.” You’re shocked at this, wondering what on earth it could be. You and your friend practically sprint back to the car. You throw the door open and nearly tear the letter in half trying to open it. When you see what’s inside you scream. 

“What?! What is it y/n?” 

“It’s tickets to their show tomorrow. Front row seats. Oh my god. What the hell?!” 

“There’s a letter in there! Read it!” You unfold the note and see it was written by a staff member. 

Hello! I hope this isn’t too weird but, I was standing in line at the security check in when I saw how those girls were treating you. I told the guys about it because I needed to vent and they were very upset by it. They also saw everything that happened during the concert and were sad thinking you might not have gotten the full concert experience so they asked me to give you these tickets to the show tomorrow. Jin was very insistent I must say. 

So we hope to see you there!

You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you hand the letter to your friend to read. 

“Oh my god! Y/n!” 

“Today and tomorrow I have a feeling are going to be the best days of my life.”