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notsohappynotsosad · 8 days

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Emperor, Stelmane and Gargauth

Sorry I haven't been posting, I got hyperfixated on this theory. Drawings will resume from now

If you’ve completed the game, there’s a chance you know of the reveal that Emperor’s previous associate, Duke Stelmane, has been in fact his thrall. Upon further inspection you may gain some seemingly contradicting information and lots of questions with no answers. This post will be long, but I promise that at the end, most of these questions will be answered. Also, there are pictures.

TLDR: Emperor and Stelmane used to be besties before he enthralled her, but they couldn't defeat Gargauth with their power of friendship.

So, for the uninitiated, what are these questions?

Firstly, when the party enters Rivington and Dream Visitor is revealed to be the Emperor, he will tell us about his life, including that he was partners with Stelmane, though he doesn’t say anything about the thrall bit of course. At this point neither he nor the party knows the Duke is dead. As far as the Emperor is concerned, what he shared might greatly compromise him and he never shares such information when he simply could’ve concealed it.

If you poke around, other questions may arise, such as why was Stelmane’s condition improving after the Emperor's visits? Why was she asking for him? Why was she excitedly talking about him at the Tavern? Why did they hug? Why was she at Elfsong, where he could find her the most easily? Why did she drink wine, which he used to force her to do? Why didn’t she warn anyone about him? Why was she looking through people before the stroke? Why would the Emperor mind control her? Why does he keep her portrait next to his desk? Is he stupid?

Now that I have you hooked (probably), let's introduce our cast.

Emperor – The one and only, our favorite topic for daily arguments. Sluttiest waist in game.

Duke Belynne Stelmane – Gods’ most perfect princess. We all agree to fuck the Emperor for what he did to her (some of us literally). She used to be a member of the Council of Four[1] as well as leader of Baldur’s Gate branch of Knights of the Shield[2]. Had ties to Hhune patriar family, possibly even related. Low levels of waist sluttiness.

Gargauth – better known as the Hidden Lord, a powerful pit fiend imprisoned in the Shield of the Hidden Lord. His portfolio includes betrayal, cruelty, political corruption and power brokers[3]. The Shield has been kept underneath Baldur’s Gate for over a century, spreading corruption in the city due to his presence alone. Such is his influence, that on the condition he’s taken away from the city, the crime rate might drastically drop[1]. He is known to have been communicating through the Shield with a past leader of the Knights, providing him with valuable information and helping the order grow in power while trying to gain worship[3]. Only some of the Hhune family and the highest rank members of the Knights knew about his existence, though in the present day no one is aware of his infernal identity[2]. Gargauth will try to steer his current owner towards acts of cruelty and domination in hopes of condemning their soul to the Nine Hells[1]. In the “Descent into Avernus” ttrpg one of the baddies wants to use the Shield to drag Baldur’s Gate into Avernus in the same fashion it happened for Elturel, but a party of adventurers takes it away before this evil plan is realized[1]. No information on waist sluttiness due to being imprisoned in a shield.

Now that I established myself as a squid fucker and Stelmane as a leader of a devil-worshipping organization, I know what you’re thinking – I’m gonna say that the Emperor had to enthrall this evil cult leader to save the city. Haha, no. Keep reading. Here, have a meme so I don’t lose your attention.

I must begin by clearing some misconceptions. It’s easy to assume that because of the Stelmane scene, all the Emperor told us about her up to that point was a lie. It wasn’t. They had a functional relationship before the mind control took place. (If you already know this, feel free to skip to the next meme.) There are two notes in the game pointing us to that conclusion: a journal found in Hhune mausoleum commonly attributed to Stelmane and a transcribed conversation heard in Elfsong tavern.

This existence of a past relationship also explains the portrait of Stelmane that the Emperor keeps next to his desk and one of his dialogue options when the PC hugs him in act 2.

Later, in act 3, he also has some lines painting a vague picture of the relationship’s nature.

So she was beginning to trust him before he caused the stroke. This makes things so much more messed up.

There’s still one written document, which doesn’t make sense, namely Patient Log:

This is clearly written after the Emperor took mental possession of her and caused a stroke. Why then does he help her and why does she keep asking for him?

Have you ever gone into the Hhune mausoleum and saw this note?

After giving up on solving the puzzle and looking it up online have you wondered who is “HE”?

It’s Gargauth, the Hidden Lord.

In “Descent into Avernus” module the party may encounter an NPC who is a member of the Knights; she is kept by Vanathampur family as a leverage in case it transpires that Vanathampurs stole the Shield of the Hidden Lord from the Hhune crypt [1] – the very same mausoleum present in game. And it just so happens that the key to this very mausoleum is in the Elfsong Tavern’s Knights of the Shield headquarters, where Stelmane and the Emperor had their rooms.

That’s not all. When you solve the Hhune mausoleum puzzle, a secret wall will open, revealing a small room full of the Knights’ symbols. If the Shield hasn’t been stolen, the Hidden Lord would be revealed too, just like the note says.

And what is that on the table? It’s Stelmane’s journal I was referring to earlier.

Stelmane had access to the Shield. And if she did, the Emperor had too.

(Kudos, if you already know where I’m going with this.) Here’s my proposed order of events.

Stelmane and the Emperor meet. At the time she isn’t yet a Duke nor the leader of the Knights. Like any normal person she’s terrified at first, but unlike any normal person she’s willing to collaborate for the sake of the Knights and her own ambition.

Due to having an illithid ally she quickly climbs ranks of the Knights. She grows to trust him and vice-versa. Things are as good as they can be for a determined politician working her way up in a corrupt organization and a renegade illithid helping with this task.

They finally advance to the seats of power. Stelmane becomes a Duke and leader of the Knights of the Shield. Perhaps thanks to this position or due to Emperor prying into minds of the members, they become aware of the Shield of the Hidden Lord kept in Hhune mausoleum.

They begin speaking with the Shield. Neither of them knows the true identity of the entity within it and the Hidden Lord does everything to keep it that way. His information and advice is always good, so turning to it for guidance becomes a habit.

Gargauth being Gargauth makes every effort to corrupt them; it’s not particularly hard. Keep in mind they’re not good people to begin with. She’s someone willing to collaborate with a mind flayer for the sake of taking over an evil organization and he’s one DC 20 persuasion check away from enslaving the city. The devil causes their worst traits to flare up and pitties them against each other.

This results in a power struggle which culminates in the Emperor dominating Stelmane and causing her seizure.

The Shield gets stolen and soon after taken away from the city.

Without Gargauth’s direct influence they (especially the Emperor) realize the fuckup, but the damage has been done.

They recognize the fiend’s influence in this transgression. Emperor starts treating Stelmane, maybe they try to make their relationship how it once was, though it might not be possible.

Emperor gets taken by Gortash and soon after is sent on the Astral Prism heist. Events of Baldur’s Gate 3 happen.

That’s all! Have a meme!

Here’s an extra bit for the interested.

The see-through people gaze is most likely caused by Gargauth’s influence. And before that Wyll says:

Sounds familiar? And from one letter in the game we can learn that Stelmane has a mansion in the Upper City, where the patriar families such as Hhunes reside[2]. Could she be related to Thione-Hhune?

Huge thanks for reading it all! What do you think? Did Larian originally plan to have this side-story of an aftermath of Gargauth’s corruption?

Sources in order of referencing (sorry, I don’t have a better system)

[1] “Descent into Avernus”: p.162, p.174, p.225, p.5, p.40

[2] “Murder in Baldur’s Gate”: p.36, p.51, p.39

[3] “Lords of Darkness”: p.151 (all the info)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 emperor #bg3 theory

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shadale-s-safe-space · 6 months

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I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

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shiftwux · 1 year

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LETS RIDE THE MECHANISM!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS BREAK ALL OUR BONES!!!!!!!!!

this is part one of what i can only assume will be a two parter to improve upon my portfolio. my hands hurt from drawing chains and cursive and ruffles and flowers. if you must ask i put my whole camerussy into noels lament and talia

#the #art #character design #ride the cyclone #rtc #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #ricky potts #jane doe rtc #penny lamb #OH YEAH BABY IM TAGGING EVERYTHING #noel is pinoy because i said so and also Every filipino teen boy acts like him #i am included

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askagamedev · 11 days

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Hello. Do you think having a game programming YouTube channel can be useful as a portfolio? Like recreating game mechanics from existing games or creating new ones, and explaining my thoughts and decisions through the videos. Similar to Artstation for artists, but in this case for programming.

I do like the idea of having an online portfolio where a candidate can showcase their skills, but I am not sure that a youtube channel is the ideal platform for it. I can see good gains to be had from doing so, but there are also non-trivial drawbacks. I'll explain what I mean.

First, doing personal game development projects earns top marks. There's no better way to stand out as a candidate than to have experience doing that work already and game development is no exception. Show us that you can do the job by doing similar work. Earning experience as an amateur will translate to leveling up as a professional.

Second, there's definitely a lot of benefit to practicing communication skills which you get from posting for public consumption. My own personal ability to communicate has improved significantly since I began this blog. The regular practice of posting to the blog has honed my skill at taking difficult, technical, and/or complex concepts and conveying them in an intuitive and understandable way. These are extremely helpful skills in a professional setting, especially when communicating with others who are not versed in the technical or design context.

There are also two drawbacks I see here.

The first drawback is in the choice of platform. Video production is extremely time-consuming - at the very least you will need to record the needed footage, write and record the commentary, add any needed visual bits (e.g. intro, outro, key art, transitions, etc.) and (most time-consuming of all) edit each video together. Most of these skills are not directly transferable to game development and are the primary reason I decided against going the Youtube route for myself.

The second drawback is in the public-facing nature of posting your work. If you get hired by a game company, you will become a corporate representative to the players of that company's games 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Your personal public posts will likely be read and dissected by the game's fans and used as potential ammunition against your employer. It is not abnormal for public blogs and the like to need shutting down (either temporarily or permanently) once you get hired. It may become a legal liability and that's not something you want to deal with while juggling a full-time job. I avoid this by staying anonymous but it's a double-edged sword - I must also forgo the benefit of having a public portfolio that I can show to potential employers.

That's basically the rundown. There's a lot to be gained from doing personal game dev work and posting it publicly, but you don't need to go all or nothing. There are really good skills you will develop by doing so, but you should absolutely be mindful of the major drawbacks of doing so in a public venue. I would encourage you to consider these issues and find a solution that you think will work best for you.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

#portfolio #getting a job in the game industry #public facing #leveling up

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jndzine · 17 days

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Info Masterpost!

Links

Xitter

Bsky

Email: jndzine (at) gmail

Schedule

April 27 - Mod applications open

May 4 - Mod apps close @ 11:59PM EST

May 11 - Contributor applications open

May 25 - Contributor apps close @ 11:59PM EST

June 8 - Acceptance emails sent out

June 22 - All artists confirmed

July 20 - 1st draft due

Aug 17 - 2nd draft due

Sept 14 - Final draft due

Oct 19 - Contributor pre-order

Nov 9 - Public pre-order! Happy anniversary!

Nov 23 - Pre-orders closed

Delivery by Feb 2025

Leftover sales & donation after initial deliveries

Mods

Head mod: @adhdavinci

Organizers: @sarandipitywrites maxialstar

Graphics: @aave @latenightowl

Finance: @nefres

Formatting: @silent-but-here

FAQ

General FAQ

Is the zine for profit or charity?

Charity! All proceeds will be donated to The River Otter Ecology Project.

What is the rating/content?

This is a safe-for-work, art-only zine featuring anything from the Jak and Daxter series. No other forms of media can be accepted this time around, sorry!

Are there mod positions available?

Yes! Applications will be live from April 27 thru May 8.

Is global shipping available?

Yes. Options will be released during the preorder phase.

What are the zine dimensions?

5.5in x 8.5in

Will there be a merch bundle?

Yes, there are plans for merch. We might hold apps for merch artists as well; stay tuned!

Mod FAQ

Application link (closes May 4)

Do you need previous experience as a zine mod?

No - any relevant experience will improve your application. Previous modding is just a bonus!

Is there an age limit?

Yes, all mods must be over 18.

What positions are available?

Organizers: run the Discord and help contributors meet deadlines

Graphics: make graphics for social posts and zine page decor

Marketing: draft and post on socials according to schedule

Formatting: put the actual zine pages together for distribution

Financials: assist Head Mod in budgeting and researching shipping options

Contributor FAQ

Applications open May 11

First time contributor here - what do I need to submit to apply?

Please submit a portfolio that shows off your art. This can be a social media or a website, though for socials please submit a dedicated art tag!

Can I use an old piece for the zine?

Please draw something specifically for the zine and refrain from posting it anywhere until the zine's completion!

How many contributors will be accepted? How many pieces per contributor?

Determined based on number of submissions! The zine will likely be capped around 50 pages due to physical and financial constraints.

What is the contributor compensation (including merch)?

Contributors get free physical and digital copies of the zine, shipping included. Merch will be determined based on the success of the zine.

Is traditional art allowed?

Yes, it must be scanned in high quality (at least 300 dpi).

Is there an age limit?

No, just make sure you can meet the deadlines!

#schedule tag #info tag

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gf-seasons-zine · 2 months

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Questions and Answers for

Who's cute as a button, and always your friend? The answer to the Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N (Yeah, OK, so it doesn't have the same rhythm as G-I-D-to-the-E-O-N, but I still think it's an improvement to the jingle...)

Let's get to it!

Q: Hi! I am a fanfic writer who wish to write for the zine. So for the portfolio, from my understanding, is to send a drive link with a couple of our works to showcase?

What if we have already published these works? Can we just send the links over? Or you prefer them exported as docs into a drive?

A: Hello! Thank you so much for your great question!

The applications for both writers and artists will request 2-3 samples of your work, and yes, specific links for each sample if they have already been published will be fine. All of the writing samples combined must be less than 7k words, so word count is a good factor to consider when deciding what to use! Your samples should be your strongest work, and the portfolio will be optional for anything extra you may want to share with us.

If you would like to show us more of your work, please send a link to a shared drive (like google) for your portfolio. We would prefer to have a limit of 3-6 selections/sections of your favorite works in one place instead of a link to an entire writing account/tumblr page- both so you can show off the best of the best and so we don’t get lost down the rabbit hole while reading/looking at all of your amazing stuff! If you have an actual portfolio website, we’ll look at the first 6 pieces we see.

We’re hoping to have a lot of applications, but that does mean there will be a lot of time spent reading and looking at great art! And because we don’t have access to time tape or Mabel Juice to skip a couple of nights of sleep (as much as we want to!), please consider keeping the works in your portfolio on the shorter side or just picking your favorite chapters/sections (and keep in mind the writing in the zine will be short as well!).

For more specifics on writing guidelines, check out the document here . For more specifics on artist guidelines, please go here, and here for merch artist guidelines. Contributor Applications open April 1!

The interest in applying is so awesome; thank you so much for reaching out!

Mods Berry and Jade

P.S. Want to join us? The Mod Applications are still open! You can apply here

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with Disney in any way. The zine will be a charity zine with all surplus going to charity- no one will profit from this zine.

CARRD TWITTER RETROSPRING

#gravity falls #gf seasons zine #gravity falls seasons zine #q&a #mod jade here- was the lil' gideon jingle too obscure?#it's constantly stuck in my head

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howelljenkins · 6 months

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deadass just went to my career center and they told my my resume looks fine and they just gave me some minor tips that could improve it but they even said it probably doesn’t even matter. but like the amount of fucking reels and tiktoks ive seen this week where this random person is like “!!!!!!! guys you arent getting past the first 3 interviews because you arent asking this specific question !!!!! btw if you like my advice sign up for my $500 masterclass!!!! now let me tell you about investment portfolios” is so exhausting like i just want to decompose like do u need to shill out to me because i mentioned job apps to my mom on the phone two days ago im TIRED

literally majority of the time the reason u didn’t get that next interview is simply because other qualified people also applied. like there’s rly no magic trick to getting interviews other than having connections. i work in a really sought out place and i promise u if there is a secret trick you need to do i must have done it subconsciously bc i was really was just chillin. just be earnest and open

#answered #anonymous

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natedraws · 4 months

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I didn't do as many completed projects this year as I have previously so the selection isn't as "high quality" as I'd like but still a fun year! I wouldn't say that it was my best but some improvements have definately been made.

Last year was my first year ever experiencing burnout which made producing art outside of work much harder for me. I have about a million unfinished sketches sitting that will never be completed and that makes me a bit sad - but that's okay! I could tell myself I can work on them this year, but I'd much prefer to turn the year over on a blank slate instead of feeling pressured by past incompleted personal projects.

In 2024 there are a few things I would like to focus on going forward in regards to my work. Firstly is to get back to that childlike passion of just creating whatever I'd like to. I often find myself not pushing to finish something personal ( because I could be using that effort to make much needed money instear ). Or if I do convince myself to finish a piece for me, it must be the highest quality "best thing I've ever drawn" so that it is at the very least portfolio worthy. I worry way too much if I've drawn something and it doesn't look as impressive as a piece I have previously made, everything I put out must be better than the last otherwise myself as an artist is no good. I'm going to try my hardest to just draw things for fun, and for the joy of creating. Leaving behind the mindset of perfectionism that often comes when you start doing art professionaly.

Secondly I would like to do more art trades. These days I know most of us ( myself included ) do not have the spare funds to commission our favorite artists, and art trades are a way to support artists you love and sharing creation with each-other. When I do art trades, I do them with anyone regardless of "skill" or meduim. It can be anything, sewing, needlework, beadwork, sculpting the possibilities are endless. At the moment I operate trades on a "feel free to ask me and if I'm free then I will get back to you and let you know" basis ( mainly because I myself am too shy to ask fellow artists to trade aswell lol ). However I do ask for some time spare before being asked at the moment as I am still struggling greatly from burnout 🙏.

Lastly I want to explore other meduims more. I made two succesful hand-sewn plush from scratch last year and I would like to continue on making more if I'm able to ( pending supplies cost ). My personal goal for that is to make 3 original plush in 2023. I would also like to do more personal cross-stitch projects where I am making my own patterns ( no I will never take commissions for cross-stitch projects - I do not want the joy from it taken from me, please don't ask! ). I would also like to start drawing in a sketchbook again, something I haven't done for around 6 years now.

If you have any goals relating to art for 2024 please feel free to share them! I can't wait to see what we all create : )

#not sure what to tag this as so I'm just gonna leave it without any!

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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #32

Did you know that in my world, there's such a thing as professional merfolk?

And did you know that not too terribly long ago, I was training to become one?

I imagine you must be terribly confused; "Lumine, what in Gaia's vast, green expanses do you mean by 'professional merfolk'?" you might be asking. So I'll send along a couple videos and some images of me training, so that you'll understand:

youtube

I even had an account on Instagram called MerrowAuryn, to document my various shenanigans. It's got videos of me diving, pictures of the various fishies (and even a turtle!) that I befriended on my adventures, and pictures of other neat things that I happened across while derping around in the water. It's still there, but... I don't really use it anymore...

There is an aquarium within reasonable driving distance from my house. They occasionally put on merfolk shows, where a person gets into this sort of costume and performs for anyone nearby who wants to watch. I was training by myself and building up a kind of portfolio of videos and images, with the intention of becoming strong enough to perform in an aquarium tank in this kind of heavy gear for up to 8 hours every day.

I was apnea training, too - my personal best time for holding my breath had gotten all the way up to four and a half minutes. Apnea training involves holding one's breath in cycles to build up a person's tolerance for high carbon dioxide levels and low oxygen levels in the blood. It also pushes the limits of how far one can expand and contract their lungs. Real professional merfolk can hold their breath for five minutes or more. And then you get professional freedivers, who can hold theirs for up to 8 minutes! It's really quite amazing!

For a decent span of time, I had been spending several hours a day, nearly every day, swimming in the heavy costume that you saw in the videos and images above. I apnea trained with a carbon dioxide table every two days. I was improving quickly, and I was feeling pretty confident!

…And then I had to stop. As it turns out, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. This is a genetic defect of a person's collagen that makes it fragile and way too stretchy. I'm sure you know this already, but collagen is what builds things like our skin and our cartilage and all our connective tissue; tendons, ligaments, all the things that keep our organs in place, all that fun stuff.

If you have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, then your cartilage has a hard time keeping your bones together, because it is built with cheap knockoff collagen; there's no cure. I'm also dyspraxic, so often enough, when I move my limbs, my body doesn't like to tell me how far is too far; things are prone to coming undone for me, but up until this point, I've been accustomed to things popping back into place without it being a big deal.

Well… I guess this time, it was a big deal. And unfortunately, we're not sure what exactly came undone, or it if came undone due to moving around vigorously while holding my breath in the tight costume, or perhaps by expanding or contracting my ribcage too far while apnea training, or the length and frequency of my training exacerbating an already-existing injury. The set of bones, tendons, and ligaments that keep the shoulder joint together (ribs, collarbone, scapula, parts of the neck, and the humerus…) is… well… it's a lot. There's a lot of moving parts to it. And as I'm sure you already know, if even one part of it is compromised, the rest of it falls apart pretty quickly; it's annoying like that.

Regardless of the cause, the fact remains that I've lost most pain-free use of my right arm, and most movements that involve my neck, diaphragm, and ribs also hurt. Though I've been seeing fancy doctor people and going to Physical Therapy for a over a year now, no one really knows exactly what's wrong or how to fix it. My right arm is my dominant arm, so naturally, this means that, while I still can kinda-sorta do the things I love (like cooking and weaving trees and and various other stuff), it hurts a lot to do these things now, so I can't do them nearly as often as I used to. And… I haven't been back in the water meaningfully since. I miss it more than I know how to say.

But that's the way things go, sometimes, right? You grow up and you find out that being able to bend and twist in abnormal, eldritch ways is an ACTUAL PROBLEM™, and not just a cool party trick. Nothing for it but to keep trying to figure it out and fix it, and try to stay positive in the meantime.

So on the one hand… I haven't been able to be in the water in a very long time now. But on the other hand, it gives me lots and lots of time to do other things. Like for example, I can write to you, and that's pretty neat, right? I wouldn't have the time or the energy for this if I was still training in the water for 3 or 4 hours every day.

…When bad things happen, it's surely important to take the time to mourn those things. But it's also important to reframe certain things so that you don't stay in mental/emotional agony forever. It's important to find reasons to still be grateful, even if certain other things are kinda lame. Like me, right now; I'm quite literally kinda lame, hahahaha!

I wonder if you like to swim. If you enjoy it, then have you been able to go do it? And if you enjoy it, but haven't been able to do it, do you miss it? I wonder…

Anyhoot. I suppose I better wrap up this letter now. I have some friends picking me up for a get-together fairly soon, and I have to make sure I haven't gone and forgotten anything (ah, the perils of having poor working memory and only barely functional object permanence, hahaha!). I've gone and prepared a few simple tasty snacks for the occasion; one of those snacks is the confit garlic that I had written to you about before, and I'm pretty excited to share it with these nice folks!

May you find reasons to remain grateful, even when your situation gets really weird. Don't succumb to despair. Don't let the difficulties of your everyday challenges get you down. Remember that you're smart and strong and capable and so very, very loved. And please stay safe out there as you do your various things, okay?

I'll write again soon, as I always do.

Your friend, Lumine

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dinkythings · 5 months

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how did you become an art director for video games? I'm looking to get into an illustration-related salary job, but am unsure if I should invest in an art degree.

I wish I could give you concrete advice, it's tough out there in this industry... but I fear my trajectory was pretty unusual and mostly based on luck.

I don't have any background in art besides doing it as a hobby - I actually graduated as a psychologist. So... I suppose at the very least I can tell you that an art degree isn't a must if you're willing to work hard and learn on your own, and driven enough to want to improve. I think I'm the only person on our art team that didn't do art related studies, and yet my technical knowledge is one of the things I am most confident in and an area where I often support my coworkers. So yeah... a costly degree might not be necessary for you, imo.

I sent out my portfolio to all 2D game companies in Belgium after I left the field of psychology and started working as a graphic designer, just to let people know I was out there in case opportunities opened up... A few months later I was contacted to do a freelance project for Rogueside, and then offered a fulltime position as an artist by the time I finished it. After a little over a year as a 2D artist I took on the title of art director as I was pretty much already performing those tasks by that point anyway... and that was that!

#the path into the game industry is definitely the hard part #becoming an art director I feel is more about your personality and work ethic

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diana-bookfairchild · 1 year

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Part 1 of 3

Adrinette April: Day 8

“And the winner of the first prize is. . .” The anchor paused, and everyone in the auditorium collectively held a breath. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng!”

Marinette smoothed her skirt down as she stood up to head to the stage. Her heart burst with excitement. Alya whistled, and her parents and Juleka applauded enthusiastically.

The trophy was heavy in her hand as she held it up to rousing cheers. Two months of mind-bending work now felt absolutely worth it.

“As you all know, the prizes include a cash sum as well as an internship opportunity. . .” The anchor continued. “And we are proud to announce that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng will get the chance to intern at Gabriel!”

Marinette gaped in amazement. She heard the four other winners gasp and mutter in envy. Gabriel was notoriously exclusive with its internship opportunities. Marinette wouldn’t have any trouble getting into an art school after an internship there. She hadn’t even finished lycée. This was something out of a dream.

“Way to go, girl!” Alya laughed, hugging her as she stepped off. “Gabriel! That’s ridiculous!”

“Also a callback to our college days,” Juleka muttered, and then smiled at her. “Congrats, Marinette.”

Marinette couldn’t pretend her mind didn’t jump to Adrien every time Gabriel or the name Agreste was mentioned. A mix of nervousness and excitement caused her stomach to turn as she considered the prospect that she might be seeing Adrien more regularly. Then she shook herself out of it. Adrien had always hated being associated with his father’s company back in college, and there was no indication that that had changed.

“Thanks, Jule,” she said mildly as her parents swept her up.

“We’re so, so proud of you Marinette!” Papa said, beaming.

“Congratulations! Gabriel is such a prestigious posting! You certainly deserve this after all your hard work,” Maman said, taking up her hands.

“Thank you!” She laughed.

“Hey, Mari, I see some people you’ll be wanting to talk to,” Alya said, pointing at the stage. Marinette turned and gasped. Alya was right. There were several CEOs and fashion business and modeling agency representatives.

“Right! I’ll see you later. Come on, Juleka.” She dragged her protesting friend over to the people laughing and chatting by the stage.

“Ah! Mlle. Dupain-Cheng!” Alessandro Lesatz smiled at her, and Marinette just about died on the inside. “Congratulations on your win. I saw your portfolio, and I must say I wish to steal you from the Agrestes.” He noticed Juleka as Marinette blushed and thanked him. “Ah. Your model?”

“Yes,” Marinette nodded, “This is Juleka Couffaine.”

“Luka Couffaine’s sister!” Mlle. Rivera scrutinized the girl. “Well, you do good as a model. Would you like an interview some time?”

As Juleka stammered out a stunned answer, Marinette began to schmooze. She got half a dozen business cards and scores of compliments on her work, and even a few critiques. She hoped she took them all with a grace befitting someone about to intern at the most famous fashion company in the city. A couple actually gave her constructive feedback about something to improve on rather than just derision, which was useful even though disheartening.

“I’m so happy for you Marinette!” Tikki giggled, zooming out of her purse as she climbed up the trapdoor to her room after a celebratory dessert with her parents.

“Did she win? Did she win?” Pollen demanded.

“Right here, Poll,” Marinette smiled at the kwami. “And yes, I did. First prize!”

“Yipppppeeeeee!” Mullo and Kaalki screamed.

“Congratulations, Master Marinette,” Wayzz said sagely. “Didn’t you say an internship was also part of your prize?”

“Not just any internship, an internship at Gabriel!” Tikki said excitedly.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Xuppu squealed.

“And romantic!” Added Ziggy.

“What? Why is that a big deal?” asked Longg.

“Aren’t in-interm-internships unpaid work?” Sass asked irritably. “It’s unfair and degrading – why are we celebrating this?”

Marinette laughed as several of the kwamis began to explain over one another, over the squeals and the begging for details Tikki was happy to provide. She was used to this chaos now.

She leaned back in her chair, considering her trophy. When would the internship begin? According to the anchor, the winners would receive emails near instantly. And Gabriel Agreste – or Nathalie Sancoeur rather – had always been scarily efficient.

Sure enough, when she clicked on her unread emails, she caught one from the Gabriel company, titled CONGRATULATIONS.

There was a list of instructions and rules after the typical congratulatory message and the attachment of the Non-Disclosure Agreement and Internship Contract she and her parents would have to sign. Marinette read through them carefully. To her immense shock, they said that if she managed to create a piece or a portfolio of pieces in the duration of her internship, whether for school or for competition or – she supposed – one of Jagged’s commissions, they would help and possibly put forth a model of their own and release it as part of the brand, with her name attached!

Marinette was speechless. These were excellent terms for an internship. Then again, the competition she had won was rather prestigious.

She began on Monday, right after lycée.

Nerves began to take over the excitement as Monday approached. Alya greeted her cheerfully after dragging her out of bed as they headed to school. “Internship first day today, huh?” Her friend asked. “Are you nervous?”

“No,” Marinette denied. Alya raised an eyebrow and she relented. “Fine. Maybe a little.” It wasn’t much more than the anxiety always swirling in her stomach – just the feeling of pins and needles, clamminess and a deep sense of dread.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Alright. Want to rehearse what you’ll say to Adrien if you run into him?”

“Alya!” Marinette exclaimed, and the girl tossed her head back and laughed. “That was years ago! I’m fine around him now.”

“Just joking, girl,” Alya smirked, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Did you finish the English homework?”

The day seemed to speed by and yet crawl inexorably. Practically before she knew it, she was standing in front of the Gabriel office – a building spanning twenty-two floors.

“ID?” Asked a bored voice.

Marinette jumped. “Er. . .” She started tentatively. “I – I don’t have one.”

The security guard frowned. “You don’t—”

“She’s our new intern,” interrupted someone Marinette knew very well. She turned to see Adrien smiling, walking forward with a purpose he hadn’t had back in college. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng? She should be on the notice given out to you.”

“Y-Yes, Monsieur Agreste,” the guard said, fumbling with papers. “You can go up, Mademoiselle. Please visit the office to get your ID and submit the signed papers and meet your supervisor.”

“Great!” Adrien beamed. “By the way, how is your daughter? Recovered from the flu?”

“Yes, she’s well now, thank you for asking,” The guard replied, clearly put at ease by Adrien’s easy demeanour.

“That’s good,” Adrien said, “Come on, Marinette. I’ll show you to the office.” Thanking the guard, she hurried after him. “Congratulations on the win! I’m glad you’re the one who’s going to work with us.”

“Us?” Marinette interrupted. “Last I heard, you weren’t at all interested in your dad’s company?”

And that had been only three weeks ago, at Luka’s concert. She didn’t see how things could have changed so quickly.

Adrien turned sheepish, ruffling his hair. Marinette pushed down the flutter of her heart at the motion. “Well, two weeks ago the winners of your competition were announced to the industries, so that they could say if and whom they wanted as an intern. And as much as I’m pleased you won and Father actually decided picking an intern was worth it, the lecture I received about deciding my path and focusing on my career now itself wasn’t very fun. He knows we’re friends, see, so he thinks I should be following your example.”

“Sorry about that,” Marinette laughed.

“Helping out in the business side of things made Father decide my modelling engagements are cancelled for the time being, so please, don’t be,” Adrien insisted.

“I remember you really hated modelling,” her voice softened with sympathy. “I’m glad you don’t have to do it anymore.”

Adrien smiled at her, and it was like sunshine. “I am too! It gives me some free time, too. At least business has a fixed number of hours. Modelling doesn’t. I’ll be able to attend Rose’s birthday party after all.”

“Oh, she’ll be so happy!” Marinette exclaimed. “She was hoping that all our old classmates could make it.”

“It’ll be fun to get together,” he agreed, and pressed an arm to hold the elevator. “After you, mademoiselle.”

Marinette giggled as she stepped in. “Such a gentleman.”

He smirked. “Glad my manners haven’t faded since college.” The elevator closed with a ding. Marinette felt a blush rising. She’d imagined various scenarios in college that included this: her and Adrien alone in an elevator. The only thing needed to complete the fantasy was the elevator to get stuck.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Gabriel had higher standards in elevators.

“The office is just to the left,” he stepped out of the elevator, pointing at the sign that listed various locations on the floor, including the office. “M. Ducasse should be there. He’ll probably be the one to do intern orientation.”

“Alright,” Marinette smiled up at him. “Thanks so much, Adrien. I’ll see you at Rose’s party?”

He hesitated, looking for a moment younger like he’d been in college. “I’m – uh, I’m hoping before that?” She could only blink at him, taken aback. “C’mon, Marinette, this place and the business is boring enough. Really boring, if you promise never to tell my father or Nathalie I said that. Having a friend around would be fun. You always make things better.”

Marinette felt heat pool in her cheeks. In an effort to remain nonchalant, she turned away from him, towards the sign, “Well, I’m certainly not opposed to having one of my best friends keep me company in my first internship. I’m sure us running into one another would be complete coincidences.”

Adrien grinned. “See you around, then. I have to go, I’m already late.” With a wave, he strode to the staircase.

Marinette waved back until he was out of sight, sighing in hopeless, unfading love.

“You are Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” M. Ducasse asked as she stepped inside the office.

“Yes, M. Ducasse.” She replied, taking out the documents signed by her and her parents.

“Very well,” he said, comparing her profile to the photo on the ID. “Please hand over the NDA and employment contract, and take the ID card. This will give you access till the fifteenth floor. Your supervisor is Mme. Oppenord. She will decide the days and timings of your internship, as well as discuss other details.”

“Okay. Thank you,” she took the ID card and pinned it to her blouse. “Where can I find Mme. Oppenord?”

“She should be here any minute now,” he responded. “Have a seat. There’s some orange juice in the jug.”

She did so, marveling at the décor and the professional hospitality. Then again, there was a reason Gabriel was the most popular company in the design industry. The receptionist was right; her supervisor arrived within three minutes, and took a seat opposite and briskly introduced herself.

The next half an hour was a discussion regarding the responsibilities, duties, duration and timings of the internship. Marinette would apparently be mostly working in the clothes design and PR departments, which pleased her. She asked if she could help out in jewellery department as well, and was warned that going beyond coffee and typing jobs would perhaps be regarded as rudely overstepping by some, but that she was welcome to try.

“Onto the final matter,” Mme. Oppenord seemed like the type of efficient which got things accomplished in the snap of a fingers and left disorganized messes like Marinette staring after them in awe. “The unusual portion of the contract, if I may say so. You are promised help in any ongoing or future projects, including but not limited to a reasonable amount of resources, publishing, selling, modelling, wardrobe. . .?” She trailed off in a question mark.

“Er, yes,” Marinette answered, not sure what the woman was looking for.

“Very well. Do you have anything ongoing?” She couldn’t read Mme. Oppenord’s tone. Tired of this, or just the methodical need to move on to the next thing?

“Well, Jagged Stone has commissioned a few designs that I’ve only just completed,” she said slowly. “And usually, I post them on my website so my followers can get the ‘scoop’ of sorts – the things that the famous rockstar will probably, you know, start a trend with.” She finished weakly and winced.

“If your name is going to be associated with the Gabriel brand, you will have to make a few modifications to the process,” she commented, furrowing her eyebrows. Marinette bristled at that, but had to concede that she had a point. “And – Jagged Stone is okay with you publicizing his commissions like this?” She asked severely.

Marinette wasn’t sure if Mme. Oppenord actually hoped she was committing a crime. “He’s … known me since I was a child, and hence I think was rather indulgent when it came to contracts. He says it’s my designs, so I can do as I wish.” Jagged had always been like the brash, spoiling uncle to her. There was also the fact that Penny had a soft spot for her.

“Hmm.” That apparently garnered a raised eyebrow. “Very well. Bring me your finished designs – I’m your supervisor, dear, I can assure you I won’t be blabbing or copying,” she added when Marinette opened her mouth in instinctive indignation. She blushed, and the woman continued. “And I’ll see what I can do with regards to modelling and publicizing. I’ll have your contact with Jagged Stone as well, and your usual model—”

“I … don’t really have a contact?” Marinette said sheepishly. “I usually just call Penny.”

“As in Jagged Stone’s personal assistant?” Mme. Oppenord seemed a woman of few reactions, and Marinette wondered what it meant that she was giving so many only in their first meeting.

“Erm. Yes.”

“I suppose you’ll have to be there when I call then. . . And your model?”

“Juleka Couffaine.”

Mme. Oppenord stared at her. “The famous Luka Couffaine’s sister? Jagged Stone’s daughter?”

“. . . That’s the one,” Marinette said feebly. It really was a start to remember how well-connected she was. She certainly hadn’t though much of it back in college.

The older woman shook her head with – again, Marinette couldn’t read her expression. Which was frustrating. As Ladybug, she was used to dealing with akumas by reading their emotions and body language.

She was sent off to work soon enough. She spent the next couple hours brewing coffee and typing and sending e-mails, with one exciting excursion to the wardrobe department to help in an ongoing shoot. Mme. Oppenord told her that when she came on Thursday she would be helping organize the wardrobes used by the designers with the other interns, and that she could eat in the cafeteria before she left.

She sat down with two girls only a couple years older than her called Juliet and Andy, who were very friendly. She’d texted her parents that she would be home by eight-thirty, so she had half an hour before she had to leave. The girls were amazing sources about future schooling: Juliet went to university while Andy pursued jewellery making in a specialized school. Marinette had to consider her own options after lycée, so it was helpful.

“Oh my God,” came a squeal, “Oh, God, look! Everyone, look!”

There were instantly several other screeches and a hushed, “It’s Adrien Agreste!”

Sure enough, the blond was at the door, frowning as he looked around. When he caught her eye, she waved tentatively. His face brightened and he headed straight there.

“Why is he coming here?” Andy asked, voice reaching a previously undiscovered pitch. “Marinette, did you just wave ADRIEN AGRESTE over to our table?”

“You know him?” Juliet asked, sounding impressed but not as slavish as the others. Marinette had barely nodded when Adrien beamed at her, sitting next to Juliet.

“Hi, Marinette! How was your first day of work?”

“Good,” Marinette smiled back at him – it was pretty much impossible not to. Adrien always had a way of making her fluster and smile. “How was your day? As boring as you expected?”

“Pretty much,” he replied, making a face. “Except I had the prospect of seeing you to tide me over.” His eyes sparkled and her face burned. Adrien flirted with everyone, apparently having gained confidence after he entered lycée. Thankfully more lowkey than Chat Noir, though her partner had stopped declaiming his love to her recently.

“What exactly do you do here anyway?” She asked, putting her head on her chin to consider him. “Oh, and this is Juliet and Andy by the way.”

“I remember you helped in the jewellery in my last shoot,” Adrien said in recognition to Andy. She gulped, looking like she was about to faint, and nodded wildly. “Nice to meet you, Juliet.”

“You as well,” Juliet replied politely.

“As for your question,” he turned to Marinette. “I usually just shadow Nathalie, though Father has been coming here to show me the ropes.”

“Gabriel Agreste is outside the mansion?” Andy gasped, dropping her fork. “Here?”

“Right?” Adrien said enthusiastically, clearly not understanding the fangirling. “It’s a miracle! The last time he came out was nearly five years ago, during that fashion show. . . The one where I wore the hat you designed, Marinette.”

“Oh right,” she laughed sheepishly. “The one inspired by Mr. Pigeon.”

“That was inspired by Mr. Pigeon?” Adrien laughed too. “Right, the feather in the hat. Literally,” he winked. She giggled. “My father really did admire your work, especially the signature. I remember he called it ‘masterful’.”

“That’s a feather in the cap of any designer,” Juliet said, smiling, looking between Marinette and Adrien with shrewd eyes.

“Definitely,” Marinette agreed. “I think that competition was around the time when Mr. Ramier was first Akumatized.”

“You … know his actual name?” Adrien blinked in surprise.

“Well. . . The poor man’s been Akumatized enough times,” she joked. “I help him feed the pigeons sometimes.” She felt sorry for the man, as Ladybug and as herself. It was a bit of a joke, but loving pigeons that much to get Akumatized even with the charm she gave out? That was some commitment. Adrien’s face softened, looking at her.

“Nearly seventy, I believe,” Andy laughed.

“Seventy-three,” Both Marinette and Adrien corrected together. They grinned at one another.

“If you’ve already had a Gabriel model,” Juliet gestured to Adrien, “Then doing it again shouldn’t be much of a problem, should it?” Marinette hadn’t known her long, but she was fairly certain that wicked glint in her eye meant nothing good.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

Marinette cleared her throat. “There was a clause in the internship contract that any ongoing or future projects while I’m interning here will be supported by Gabriel, including but not limited to—”

“Modelling,” he finished.

“Right. And she has one now,” Andy said, nodding. “Mme. Oppenord told you to bring your sketches in next time you’re here for deciding the model and everything?” She and Juliet exchanged a glance and then looked at Adrien. . . expectantly?

“I can do the modelling for you,” Adrien offered instantly.

“What?” Marinette gaped unflatteringly at him. “Adrien – you hate modelling! You really don’t need to do something like this for me!”

“No, really, it’s no problem. I’ll talk to my father about it. He knows we’re friends. He’ll probably be glad I want to model at all. In fact, he may thank you on bended knee,” he said, smiling crookedly.

“Well, that’ll be the day,” Marinette joked. “And a sight worth seeing. But you don’t have to.” She said again, feeling speechless at how unhesitatingly he offered to do something he hated for her sake.

“I’m happy to,” he replied. “Mme. Oppenord’s your supervisor? I’ll get Nathalie to tell her—” his phone rang. “Speaking of which. I have to go. I’ll see you?” He added hopefully.

Marinette wasn’t sure why he wanted to, but she would never object to seeing Adrien. If she did, the people around her ought to check for Akumatization or something of the sort. “Of course.”

Juliet and Andy pounced on her the moment Adrien left the table. “You didn’t tell us you were dating Adrien Agreste!” Andy cried.

“I’m not,” she protested. “We went to college together, and our best friends are dating. We’re just friends.” The words didn’t give her pain as they had back in college. Yes, she still loved Adrien, but he didn’t have to return her feelings. She liked being friends. It was fine.

“Didn’t look like it,” Juliet said, her eyes glittering. “But okay. Looks like we have a matchmaking job, Andy.”

Marinette crossed her arms. “Don’t you dare,” she scolded.

They dared.

When the son of the owner of the company requested something, things apparently moved rather fast. The very next time she went to her internship with her designs, Mme. Oppenord had frostily declared that an appointment with Adrien Agreste for modelling her designs had been set. She’d been rather hurtful about the fact that she clearly thought it was nepotism and not talent until she took a look at Marinette’s designs. Then she gaped, and behaved much nicer.

She was also pretty supportive. Marinette had stocked and organized the wardrobe, making friends with a couple of the interns helping, though some had looked down on her, all of them obviously being out of lycée. Mme. Oppenord had also let her select the colour palette of decoration of somebody’s party (with plenty of criticism, of course, but it was the thought that counted).

Adrien had met her at the cafeteria once more, this time walking her down to the gate. Andy had giggled and pushed her at him once.

After all these years, you’d think she’d be used to pushy friends shoving her at him. But nope.

He caught her by the waist, and just laughed while she stammered in apology and embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it, Marinette. After all these years, I’ve kind of grown used to it.”

“I really am madly clumsy,” Marinette tried to laugh it off. An odd look passed over his face.

“That can be an endearing quality,” he said softly. She nearly had a heart attack. Did he mean to call her endearing? Did he--? But no, he couldn’t. “I’ll see you Saturday evening for the shoot?”

“Why is it so soon?” She frowned, glad to get off-topic from her ‘endearing’ clumsiness.

Adrien smiled ruefully. “Father’s overjoyed, like I said he would be. He’s taking the opportunity to start the new advertising campaign he wanted me to star in. He wasn’t very happy with cutting down my modelling, even if it was for learning about the business instead.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, unable to think of anything else. At this point, as bad as it sounded, she was used to the way Adrien’s father acted with him.

He ruffled his hair. “Well, at least it’s for a good cause. Can’t wait to wear something of your design again,” he winked and headed back to the building, leaving her blushing.

“And she says there’s nothing romantic between them,” Juliet giggled.

Marinette scolded her all the way to the train station where they were leaving Andy and walking home.

Somehow, Juliet and Andy weaseled their way into the photoshoot. Andy was there helping with the jewellery anyway, but Juliet winked at her, rushing after the photographer in an effort to ‘assist’.

Marinette loved her new friends, but really.

Adrien had been right that one time: photoshoots and modelling were long and boring. Although assisting with the wardrobe, and exchanging glances and smiles with Adrien, and making sure her pieces were done justice and were right for Jagged and her website and glaring at Andy and Juliet made them less so.

The photoshoot went well enough, despite a couple hiccups and Vincent’s despairing that Adrien had had such a long break from modelling (exactly two weeks) and would continue taking a break after this (indefinitely).

What Juliet and Andy did afterwards though? The. Last. Straw.

She was going to kill them. Painfully. Despite Tikki’s admonishments about Ladybug having to be a model for good behaviour.

And now she was facing a celebratory dinner date with Adrien.

Great.

#adrinette april #adrinette #adrienette #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #fanfiction #fanfic #pre relationship #aged up characters #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #adrinetteapril2023

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jcmarchi · 23 days

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Q&A: Claire Walsh on how J-PAL’s King Climate Action Initiative tackles the twin climate and poverty crises

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/qa-claire-walsh-on-how-j-pals-king-climate-action-initiative-tackles-the-twin-climate-and-poverty-crises/

Q&A: Claire Walsh on how J-PAL’s King Climate Action Initiative tackles the twin climate and poverty crises

The King Climate Action Initiative (K-CAI) is the flagship climate change program of the Abdul Latif Jameel Poverty Action Lab (J-PAL), which innovates, tests, and scales solutions at the nexus of climate change and poverty alleviation, together with policy partners worldwide.

Claire Walsh is the associate director of policy at J-PAL Global at MIT. She is also the project director of K-CAI. Here, Walsh talks about the work of K-CAI since its launch in 2020, and describes the ways its projects are making a difference. This is part of an ongoing series exploring how the MIT School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences is addressing the climate crisis.

Q: According to the King Climate Action Initiative (K-CAI), any attempt to address poverty effectively must also simultaneously address climate change. Why is that?

A: Climate change will disproportionately harm people in poverty, particularly in low- and middle-income countries, because they tend to live in places that are more exposed to climate risk. These are nations in sub-Saharan Africa and South and Southeast Asia where low-income communities rely heavily on agriculture for their livelihoods, so extreme weather — heat, droughts, and flooding — can be devastating for people’s jobs and food security. In fact, the World Bank estimates that up to 130 million more people may be pushed into poverty by climate change by 2030.

This is unjust because these countries have historically emitted the least; their people didn’t cause the climate crisis. At the same time, they are trying to improve their economies and improve people’s welfare, so their energy demands are increasing, and they are emitting more. But they don’t have the same resources as wealthy nations for mitigation or adaptation, and many developing countries understandably don’t feel eager to put solving a problem they didn’t create at the top of their priority list. This makes finding paths forward to cutting emissions on a global scale politically challenging.

For these reasons, the problems of enhancing the well-being of people experiencing poverty, addressing inequality, and reducing pollution and greenhouse gases are inextricably linked.

Q: So how does K-CAI tackle this hybrid challenge?

A: Our initiative is pretty unique. We are a competitive, policy-based research and development fund that focuses on innovating, testing, and scaling solutions. We support researchers from MIT and other universities, and their collaborators, who are actually implementing programs, whether NGOs [nongovernmental organizations], government, or the private sector. We fund pilots of small-scale ideas in a real-world setting to determine if they hold promise, followed by larger randomized, controlled trials of promising solutions in climate change mitigation, adaptation, pollution reduction, and energy access. Our goal is to determine, through rigorous research, if these solutions are actually working — for example, in cutting emissions or protecting forests or helping vulnerable communities adapt to climate change. And finally, we offer path-to-scale grants which enable governments and NGOs to expand access to programs that have been tested and have strong evidence of impact.

We think this model is really powerful. Since we launched in 2020, we have built a portfolio of over 30 randomized evaluations and 13 scaling projects in more than 35 countries. And to date, these projects have informed the scale ups of evidence-based climate policies that have reached over 15 million people.

Q: It seems like K-CAI is advancing a kind of policy science, demanding proof of a program’s capacity to deliver results at each stage.

A: This is one of the factors that drew me to J-PAL back in 2012. I majored in anthropology and studied abroad in Uganda. From those experiences I became very passionate about pursuing a career focused on poverty reduction. To me, it is unfair that in a world full of so much wealth and so much opportunity there exists so much extreme poverty. I wanted to dedicate my career to that, but I’m also a very detail-oriented nerd who really cares about whether a program that claims to be doing something for people is accomplishing what it claims.

It’s been really rewarding to see demand from governments and NGOs for evidence-informed policymaking grow over my 12 years at J-PAL. This policy science approach holds exciting promise to help transform public policy and climate policy in the coming decades.

Q: Can you point to K-CAI-funded projects that meet this high bar and are now making a significant impact?

A: Several examples jump to mind. In the state of Gujarat, India, pollution regulators are trying to cut particulate matter air pollution, which is devastating to human health. The region is home to many major industries whose emissions negatively affect most of the state’s 70 million residents.

We partnered with state pollution regulators — kind of a regional EPA [Environmental Protection Agency] — to test an emissions trading scheme that is used widely in the U.S. and Europe but not in low- and middle-income countries. The government monitors pollution levels using technology installed at factories that sends data in real time, so the regulator knows exactly what their emissions look like. The regulator sets a cap on the overall level of pollution, allocates permits to pollute, and industries can trade emissions permits.

In 2019, researchers in the J-PAL network conducted the world’s first randomized, controlled trial of this emissions trading scheme and found that it cut pollution by 20 to 30 percent — a surprising reduction. It also reduced firms’ costs, on average, because the costs of compliance went down. The state government was eager to scale up the pilot, and in the past two years, two other cities, including Ahmedabad, the biggest city in the state, have adopted the concept.

We are also supporting a project in Niger, whose economy is hugely dependent on rain-fed agriculture but with climate change is experiencing rapid desertification. Researchers in the J-PAL network have been testing training farmers in a simple, inexpensive rainwater harvesting technique, where farmers dig a half-moon-shaped hole called a demi-lune right before the rainy season. This demi-lune feeds crops that are grown directly on top of it, and helps return land that resembled flat desert to arable production.

Researchers found that training farmers in this simple technology increased adoption from 4 percent to 94 percent and that demi-lunes increased agricultural output and revenue for farmers from the first year. K-CAI is funding a path-to-scale grant so local implementers can teach this technique to over 8,000 farmers and build a more cost-effective program model. If this takes hold, the team will work with local partners to scale the training to other relevant regions of the country and potentially other countries in the Sahel.

One final example that we are really proud of, because we first funded it as a pilot and now it’s in the path to scale phase: We supported a team of researchers working with partners in Bangladesh trying to reduce carbon emissions and other pollution from brick manufacturing, an industry that generates 17 percent of the country’s carbon emissions. The scale of manufacturing is so great that at some times of year, Dhaka (the capital of Bangladesh) looks like Mordor.

Workers form these bricks and stack hundreds of thousands of them, which they then fire by burning coal. A team of local researchers and collaborators from our J-PAL network found that you can reduce the amount of coal needed for the kilns by making some low-cost changes to the manufacturing process, including stacking the bricks in a way that increases airflow in the kiln and feeding the coal fires more frequently in smaller rather than larger batches.

In the randomized, controlled trial K-CAI supported, researchers found that this cut carbon and pollution emissions significantly, and now the government has invited the team to train 1,000 brick manufacturers in Dhaka in these techniques.

Q: These are all fascinating and powerful instances of implementing ideas that address a range of problems in different parts of the world. But can K-CAI go big enough and fast enough to take a real bite out of the twin poverty and climate crisis?

A: We’re not trying to find silver bullets. We are trying to build a large playbook of real solutions that work to solve specific problems in specific contexts. As you build those up in the hundreds, you have a deep bench of effective approaches to solve problems that can add up in a meaningful way. And because J-PAL works with governments and NGOs that have the capacity to take the research into action, since 2003, over 600 million people around the world have been reached by policies and programs that are informed by evidence that J-PAL-affiliated researchers produced. While global challenges seem daunting, J-PAL has shown that in 20 years we can achieve a great deal, and there is huge potential for future impact.

But unfortunately, globally, there is an underinvestment in policy innovation to combat climate change that may generate quicker, lower-cost returns at a large scale — especially in policies that determine which technologies get adopted or commercialized. For example, a lot of the huge fall in prices of renewable energy was enabled by early European government investments in solar and wind, and then continuing support for innovation in renewable energy.

That’s why I think social sciences have so much to offer in the fight against climate change and poverty; we are working where technology meets policy and where technology meets real people, which often determines their success or failure. The world should be investing in policy, economic, and social innovation just as much as it is investing in technological innovation.

Q: Do you need to be an optimist in your job?

A: I am half-optimist, half-pragmatist. I have no control over the climate change outcome for the world. And regardless of whether we can successfully avoid most of the potential damages of climate change, when I look back, I’m going to ask myself, “Did I fight or not?” The only choice I have is whether or not I fought, and I want to be a fighter.

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mbti-notes · 11 months

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Anon wrote: Hello! While I don't know my type (INXX F), what do feelings of shame say if they involve your passions? Growing up I learned that it's better to get a career and do what you'd like as a hobby, but I hate my job. It consumes so much time and energy; there are times when it takes up my whole life.

However, whenever I try to share my "true self" with others, people either don't care, tell me it's not mature/normal enough, or use it against me. Now, sometimes I look at what I love and feel sick.

What complicates it is that it's hard for me to feel a sense of belonging anywhere, yet when I watch some of these writers/artists/animators, see how they think, I get a sense that I could belong with them. Some are analytical when explaining their processes, others more methodical, all of them love what they do, no matter what their goals are.

I wish I could have that type of work, on which you could focus and follow this flow (although this isn't always the case). That is not true for my job. You have to fight everything and do a million things at once, yet I can't escape without something to fall back on. Although I'm trying to improve my skills and build a portfolio, find good teachers, it's hard.

People say to have confidence in yourself and make your own decisions, but what if every choice you make is wrong? What if you can't win and you're supposed to take it? How can you be yourself when you're fundamentally taught everything about you has to be hidden or "fixed," that your needs are illegitimate and should be ignored whenever possible?

I'm asking this because while I feel fine more often than I used to, I don't want my past or other people to control me. I want to be myself, but I keep asking myself what that is. It's like there's a piece of me that's locked away and I can't get it out. Thank you.

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Figure out your exact type by doing a proper type assessment. If you are INF, that only leaves two options: INFP and INFJ. The two types are very different and would call for different ways of approaching personal development. If I don't know your type, I can't get into specifics of how to address your issues.

Many people experience some degree of invalidation as they grow up. It is a near universal experience because it is a natural consequence of socialization. Socialization is the process of learning how to function and thrive in the society you live in. Certain negative traits and behaviors in people are widely discouraged, shamed, or condemned for the sake of maintaining a well-functioning society. If people weren't socialized, the concept of "society" would cease to have any meaning.

Parents, schools, and society at large use various ways to socialize children. While every member of a society must go through socialization, some parenting styles are better than others, some education methods are better than others, and some societal values are better than others for children to internalize and perpetuate. The worst methods of socialization leave people suffering from psychological issues such as low self-esteem or grandiose entitlement. The best methods involve learning how to strike the right balance between self and others.

You ask "how can you be yourself when you're fundamentally taught everything about you has to be hidden or fixed, that your needs are illegitimate and should be ignored". Do you just automatically believe everything you were ever taught in life? Do you still believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny?

At some point, you have to grow up and think for yourself, do you not? At some point, continuing to blame your parents/upbringing really just becomes an excuse. Are you concealing a deeper truth about not wanting to grow up, perhaps because of not wanting the heavy responsibility it entails? Refusal to mature is one common way people get stuck in a rut and remain at the lowest levels of ego development, thinking and behaving like a child or teenager all throughout life. The longer you resist the call to confront your life challenges and grow as a person, the more and more self-esteem you'll lose, because the evidence of your deficits becomes harder and harder to ignore.

Belonging isn't easy for everyone because not everyone happens to be born into an emotionally, socially, and intellectually supportive environment of best fit to their personality. You can take this as a personal affront and bitterly point fingers, or you can treat it as a matter of circumstance and change it. If your environment doesn't work for you, you owe it to yourself to either find a better one or create a better one for yourself. As a child, you have little control over your circumstances. However, as an adult, you are equipped with enough power to counteract toxic upbringing and change childish thought patterns. You not only have the power to learn, you also have a responsibility to yourself to address what is not working in your life.

Do you understand the concept of "owing things to yourself"? It is predicated upon the idea that you own your life and should therefore take full responsibility for it. You won't take ownership as long as you have a weak sense of self. People with a weak sense of self have low self-awareness. They don't know their own mind, their own values, their own needs and desires. You may not be at fault for having a weak sense of self, so it's not a crime to be punished. However, it becomes an ego development problem if a person resists strengthening their sense of self. When you aren't able to make good decisions for yourself, what happens? You always defer to others, you fly by the seat of your pants, or you get stuck in indecision - which option sounds best to you?

Regardless of what you did in the past, how are you going to make decisions going forward? Continuing on as before means nothing will change for the better, but your feelings about yourself and your life will continue to worsen over time. Feelings are very important for informing you about what's not right or what's not working in life. If you don't listen to them or even suppress them, they get worse and they get louder, which can have a very negative impact on your mental health. You must answer feelings by properly attending to the problem that they are urging you to resolve.

You ask "what if every decision is wrong". What if I told you that there are no "wrong" decisions in the way that you mean? In order to progress in life, one must learn from every experience. Therefore, all experiences, positive and negative, are important to your personal growth. Your reluctance/refusal to accept the negative aspects of life means that you lose precious opportunities to learn and grow into the person you're meant to be.

You ask "what if you can't win and you're supposed to take it". What if I told you that there is no such thing as "winning"? In order to make good decisions, one must be attuned to reality. In reality, "winning" is just an idea, a mental construct, a value. Mental constructs are only "real" insofar as you choose to believe in them, which means you can stop believing any time you decide it's no longer worth it. As long as you want the superficial status of "winning" and keep believing in the concept (because someone told you to), you'll keep suffering the consequences of "losing" and the feelings of being a "loser". Is that a price you're willing to pay? If not, then it's time to change your worldview. Your way of thinking lacks sophistication and nuance.

You say you don't want the past or others to control you? Some people romanticize suffering and build their identity around it because they like the benefits of positioning themselves as the victim. Some people wish for a dominant figure in their life to make decisions for them because they don't want to bear the hardships of discerning what is right/wrong. As long as you derive some sort of "benefit" from viewing yourself as a victim of your past or submitting yourself to the control of others, why would you choose differently? Are you willing to give up those "benefits"? If so, you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim and you have to stop seeing yourself as incapable. You have to change the stories you tell about yourself.

As an adult, you have to acknowledge that the "locked" up piece of you was locked up by you. It is a defense mechanism; you did it to protect yourself from hurt and pain. But, in the end, it means you are trapped by your fear of hurt and pain. Logically, the way out is to confront hurt and pain and learn the emotional intelligence skills you need to manage it better.

You believed that locking yourself up would free you from pain, but you are still in pain, aren't you? Worse, you are likely to hate yourself for getting stuck in pain. Confronting the challenges of your life is also painful because it's hard work and you open yourself up to setbacks and failures, but the difference is you get rewarded with self-esteem and growth. Thus: Choose your pain wisely. You treat all pain as being bad, which is more evidence that your way of thinking lacks sophistication and nuance. If you're going to experience pain either way, at least get something meaningful out of it.

When you suffer from devaluing your own existence, you are likely to benefit from assertiveness training. I've talked about it before and recommended books on the resources page. Taking a practical course might be a good idea. They are usually offered by employment upgrading, self-improvement programs, or mental health services. They are designed specifically to teach you: how to change faulty beliefs about yourself and the world; how to honor yourself; how to communicate about needs and wants; how to advocate for yourself in various situations; etc.

#assertiveness #self worth #sense of self #fear of change #emotional intelligence #ask

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