#Maybe it’ll make them different since i dont want to draw the same thing over and over

[ask-sunsethills]

Felt inspired to make some sprites!

[where-theres-smoak-2]

JATP Analysis/Theory: Alex and Carrie

I know I need to stop but I am having way too much fun overanalysing this show. Besides I promised you all a Alex and Carrie post so here it is. So my newest theory is kind of to do with the phantoms unfinished business. All through out season 1 there has been this theme of connection, Julie’s connection to the boys, their connection to Julie’s mum, Julie’s connection to her mum, Luke’s connection to his parents etc. We also know that the phantoms have some burnt bridges, with their parents and with Bobby. Julie too also has a broken bridge between her and Carrie. I think their unfinished business is to mend all of those broken relationships and reconnect with everyone. This is where I think Alex and Carrie come in. 

I think that Alex and Carrie are going to be really important in reconnecting everyone and here is why I think that. I think you can draw alot of parallels between Alex and Carrie and I think the show producers have created these parallels because they want us to connect Alex and Carrie.

The first parallell is something I have spoken about before and I think it’s talked about alot in the fandom, but many of the characters in the show have a colour connected to them Alex and Carrie both have the same colour connected to them, pink. 

In fact its very rare to see either of these characters not wearing pink, it happens occassionally but not very often. This is interesting considering on the surface these are very different characters. 

 But the colour pink had a lot of symbolism around it and even more interesting than that, different shades of pink have different meanings. Pink is made up from two colours, Red and White. Red symbolises, passion, energy, power and sometimes agression. White symbolises purtiy, morality and innocence. Obviously these are two contradicting colours but when you put them together the passion of red is softened by the purity of the white creating a calming, romantic and gentle loving colour. The more red in the pink the more energetic the colour.  

Alex wears alot of light pink. Light pink is a much softer and calmer colour than the brighter pink that Carrie is often seen in. And that fits their individual personalities, Alex is a much calmer and softer person whereas Carrie is more engergetic and agressive. However pink is also a playful colour and I would say both characters have shown that playful side to them when Carrie performs and when Alex joined in with the dancing is one example. Pink also represents friendship, unconditional love, understanding and compassion. I think you could easily relate all of these things to Alex but you might have a harder time seeing Carrie that way. However I think from the fact that Julie used to be friends with her and that little clap at the end of Stand Tall she definitely has the capacity to be all of those things. I do think that clap at the end was the beginning of her redemption arc but that its going to take some time for her character to grow and I think Alex is going to play a big part in helping her with her journey.    

Dancing is another thing that is similar between them. The both seem to really enjoy that aspect of performing. I do think that this love of dance could be what helps them connect in season 2. Alex is always shown to enjoy Dirty Candy’s performance and has joined in with the dancing both times. But they also seem to be wound tightly and often seen as tense or stressed. I do think that they both use dance as an outlet, its their way to let loose and just be themselves without any cares. I do think this could be something they’ll bond over. 

So why is it important that Alex and Carrie make this connection? Well I personally think that out of the three boys Alex is the one that is going to be most willing to forgive Bobby. When they found out that Bobby had stolen their songs both Reggie and Luke had very specific reasons for being angry about it. Luke was angry because if he had been given credit then his parents would have known his dreams were worth chasing. Reggie was angry because if Bobby had given them credit then some of the money would have gone to their families and maybe his family wouldn’t have had their house turned into a bike shed. But Alex never gives a specific reason for being angry therefore I think he’ll be the one most likely to be willing to sit down and chat with Bobby and listen to his side of the story. I think it’ll be through Carrie that Bobby and Alex will reconnect. I spoke in another post (here if you like dot read it) about how alot of the characters have a necklace that they always wear and the symbolism behind those necklaces. Alex always wears a gold chain which as I said in that other post, chains have been a symbol of everlasting love and life since ancient times, its the circle that never ends. Gold is also a symbol of purity,  illumination, love, compassion, courage, passion, magic, and wisdom. Again all of these things are very similar to what the colour pink represents. What’s interesting to me is that even though Carrie doesn’t have a necklace that she never ever takes off she does have one that she wears more often than any others and like Alex this is a gold chain or rather two gold chains.

 Also if you look at the picture on the right where she has pink hair you can see she is wearing another necklace on top of the two gold chains. Now I’m not an expert on designer jewellery but I know there is a brand that is like known for its panther/ leopard necklaces called cartier. I’m pretty sure that’s what the other necklace is. I do think this is obviously suppose to show Carrie’s wealth, gold is also a symbol of wealth and glamour which is probably why alot of Carrie’s jewellery is gold. But it is interesting that it is a cat necklace, again in that other post I talked about cat imagery in the show and how Flynn is often seen in animal prints and has cat imagery associated with her. Cat’s in alot of cultures are guardians to the underworld and spirits. This necklace isn’t the only instance that we see Carrie with cat imagery in Edge of Great she is wearing a leopard print pale pink outfit.  

   Although there is nowhere near as much of this cat/ leopard imagery with Carrie as there is Flynn I do still think this represents that Carrie will also like Flynn will be on team phantoms at some point and like Flynn will act in a helper/ protector capacity. 

Staying on the subject of cats though there is something else I want to talk about. Like I said I think mending their relationship  with Bobby is going to be a big part of completing the phantoms unfinished business. Well I didn’t notice this until @this-is-a-name-dont-worry​ pointed it out to me but like the rest of the boys Bobby also has a necklace that he wears all the time and whch he was wearing in 1995 and 2020. 

I spent ages trying to figure out what the hell his necklace was because in most shots it just looks like a hunk of silver metal. But I finally figured it out and I’m 99% sure that its a lion. 

Sorry about the quality of the picture it’s as clear as I could get it. I’ve tried to make the features a little bit clearer by outlining them. The red dots are the eyes, the orange circle is where the nose and open mouth is and then the mane is outlined in brown. Also like Carrie and Flynn he has been seen wearing leopard print. This makes Bobby the third person to be associated with cats of some kind and what is also interesting is that all three characters are lifers. But the Lion holds a even more special symbolism. Most of the characters can be divided into being more connected to Julie/ lifers or to the Phantoms/ afterlife. For example  Willie and Caleb are very much connected to the Phantoms and the afterlife. But Flynn and Carrie are much more connected to Julie and life. However you could argue that Bobby is that one character that is very much in both worlds. He is very connected and was a big part of the phantoms lives but he was also quite a big part of Julie’s life and is very much connected to her and the living through Carrie. The interesting thing is that Lions are neither nocturnal (active at night) or diurnal (active during the day) but are sort of inbetween. Night time in many cultures is symbolic of magic and the afterlife, the haunting hour as Caleb put it. Daytime is very much the time of the living so its interesting to me that Bobby has a necklace that is the image of a animal that is part of both worlds just as he is. Also as a slight sidenote I do have a new maybe not theory but headcanon, all four boys from sunset curve each have a necklace that is unique to them and that they never take off, I like to think that they all brought the necklaces together, maybe at a stall or something and that they are a symbol of their friendship kinda like friendship bracelets but as necklaces. Still its really interesting to me that Bobby never took that necklace off. Anyway back on track I think the fact that all three of these characters have associasions with cats makes me think that each of them will be instrumental in helping the phantoms complete their unfinished business, especially as cats are often not just depicted as protectors for spirits in the afterlife but as guides. I think each of them is kind of like a roadmarker on the journey to the phantoms completing their unfinished business. 

Ok so going back to Alex and Carrie and why I think Alex will be an important part of Carrie’s character development and redemption arc. In episode 6 there is that truly iconic scene where Dirty Candy is performing and Alex ends up joining them on stage. During the dance Alex passes through Carrie twice. When Ray passed through Reggie, Reggie then formed an attatchment to Ray. The same thing happened between Julie and Luke they formed a deep connection. Obviously I do think that there were other factors than just they passed though them but I do think its significant and its for that reason that I think that Alex and Carrie will form a bond. Also from Reggie’s comment about being able to tell that Ray has a good heart and the looks on Julie and Lukes faces it seems like they can sense the other persons I don’t know personality or maybe even their soul, maybe when passing through for a moment your souls connect who knows. I think Carrie has alot of issues, clearly, but I think underneath all that she is actually more like Alex than we know, a gentle, sweet girl. I think this is something that Alex sensed and that he is going to help her get back to who she used to be and help her reconnect with Julie. I do think Carrie and Julie’s story is the same as Bobby and Luke’s/the Phantoms. I think like Bobby, Carrie has a deep rooted jealousy of Julie. I think that Carrie has a love for music and wants to be successful in the industry and she probably feels a bit like she’s in her father’s shadow and that there’s alot of pressure on her to succeed because of how successful her father is. Although she is good I do think she probably feels like she is constantly outshone by Julie and that Julie’s talent comes really easily to her. Like her father I think she was given an opportunity, I spose you could call it, by death more specifically Julie’s mum’s death. I think with Julie being unable to sing or play music Carrie was suddenly getting alot more attention but like Bobby I think she has alot of conflicted feelings about it because although she is now getting more success she is grieving for someone who has passed. It must be a very conflicting feeling and I think that is why she is so moved in Stand Tall because I do think she had a bond with Rose and just didn’t know how to deal with her dying. Also as another little detail during that scene Carrie isn’t in pink but is wearing a dress that is covered in hearts. 

I think this is suppose to symbolise how her heart is opening up. But the really interesting thing is that the hearts are coloured pink, red and blue which are the colours of the boys maybe this is an indication that the boys will be helping open her heart or that she will help open theirs to forgiveness for bobby. 

Another sign that Carrie might be getting a redemption arc is that in episode 6 again during that scene where she performs all eyes on me she is wearing a pendant of Saturn.

Saturn is symbolic of transition and transformation. I think the message here is clear that Carrie is going to go through a change. As I said I think Alex will play a big part in that. Part of the reason why I think that is because I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Carrie is wearing the Saturn pendant at the same time that Alex joins in with the dance and passes through Carrie. Also I think its significant that the song that Alex joins in with is All Eyes On Me. Again in that other post I talked about how I actually thought the song was telling the story of what happened between Bobby and the boys. Like I said Carrie and Julie’s situation I think is the same. I think just as Alex was interfering and making the dance better (because you know he made it better as fantastic as it already was) he is going to be ‘interfering’  and making Carrie and Julie’s relationship better and then as a result of that Carrie is going to help heal things with her father. 

Ok this one even I will admit is a bit of a stretch but it popped into my head so I figured I’d add in. But in episode 9 when Caleb gives the Phantoms new threads each of them have, well I’m not sure exactly what they are but lets go with brooch. I don’t know if there is any significance to Luke’s and Reggie’s because I haven’t been able to get a clear enough image of them yet but this one is Alex’s. 

 Alex has a cross and a chain that curves like a crescent. The symbol for saturn is this.   

Obviously its not the identical but I can’t help but think they look similar. The other interesting thing is that the Saturn symbol is made up of two components a cross and a scythe. Saturn is symbolic not just of change and transformation but with death, or more specifically death’s scythe. I don’t know I just thought it was interesting and if his brooch is suppose to represent the symbol for Saturn then that means that both Alex and Carrie have worn jewellery associated with Saturn. I do think that both of them will grow and change. I also think it would be really interesting to see these two getting to know each other and them bonding. I’d love to see a dance scene with them both. You know one where Carrie knows he’s there and can interact with him.  

So yeah that was my incoherrent ramblings about Alex and Carrie with a side of Bobby. Now all I need is for Netlfix to renew the show for a 2nd season already.  

[alice-dont-break]

checking | janthony one shot

Jasmine's heart wasn't racing, but rather beating slow and heavy in her chest, a steady thumping to remind her of the weight she carried. She could tell herself her fears were stupid or irrational, but that only served to amplify her frustration. She couldn't shake the obsessive thoughts that gnawed at her relentlessly, so she'd just have to sit with them for now, fingers drumming repeatedly over the back of her phone.

Watching Anthony's leaden breaths was the best reminder that tranquility was still possible. He looked so peaceful, so unworried, so content, and she just wished she could fold herself into his shelter. She yearned to lift the arm that rested heavy on the mattress, slightly outstretched as if searching for the body it usually held secure, and lay it over her rigid midsection. Every inch of her was tense, and while she knew her husband's touch could unbind her, she couldn't bear to wake him. These thoughts were too ridiculous to be worth his time, she thought, and she'd hate to disturb such a peaceful-looking sleep for her childishness. But luckily, all her stressful energy, or perhaps some invisible power of their bond, did the job for her.

"Whatchu still doing up, baby?" Anthony grumbled, rubbing at his tired eyes. He rolled onto his side to face Jasmine, who was propped up against the headboard scrolling through her phone. He didn't know exactly what time it was, but he did know that when he rolled over in the night, he'd expected to find her fast asleep.

"Go back to bed, love," she cooed, reaching over to comb through his tousled curls. Her mind was protesting against the words she forced from her lips, but her hushed tone concealed the stress of conflict in her voice. She looked over to him with soft eyes, letting the genuine adoration of his sleepy and disheveled appearance mask her underlying anxiety.

Regardless, the non-answer concerned Anthony enough to draw him out of his groggy state. He looked over at the alarm clock and found it was nearly three in the morning, so he sat up and shifted towards his wife. "Jas, what's going on?" He asked softly, sweeping a curl behind her ear so he could capture her gaze and study her expression. "Trouble sleeping?" His hand came to rest on the top of her shoulder, where he kneaded her taut muscles.

"Not really," she mumbled, "just haven't tried." Her eyes broke away from his, dropping to her lap while her fingers twisted and tugged at the sheets.

Anthony noticed her fidgeting and reached over to slip his hand into her restless one. He squeezed her palm gently until he felt the tension dissipate, then rubbed his thumb carefully over each knuckle. "It's late, Jas, d'you wanna tell me what's keeping that beautiful mind so busy?"

Jasmine grappled with whether to admit her silent battle, until she met Anthony's eyes. They had widened but they weren't strained; they were just locked on her with a quiet concern that showed her she was safe and welcome, and compelled her to let him in. "I'm trying not to go check the stove," she muttered.

"Oh, babe, you don't have to worry," he frowned, "I checked it before I came up." His pitch escalated along with his worry. He knew whatever was keeping her up wasn't as simple as his response implied.

"I know. We didn't even use it today because we had salads and then ate out for dinner, and we haven't used it since yesterday and I checked it yesterday so there's no way it's on," she rattled off, as if the schedule for using their stove was imprinted on her mind. It may as well have been.

"Baby, is this...? I thought the meds - "

"I know, I'm sorry," she cut him off with a deep sigh. Her eyes fell to her lap again, sunken and clouded. "I haven't been good about telling you what's gone on at my appointments..."

Anthony shook his head sharply before looking over to find the shame that squeezed up her shoulders into hunches. "Don't have to apologize Jas. You dont owe me any explanations. All I wanna know is if there's a way I can be taking better care of you." His last few words lightened, as he looked over to catch her heavy-lidded eyes.

Her jaw relaxed into a sad smile, before tentatively giving a slight nod. He reciprocated though just barely, as if offering a safe place for her to speak if she wanted, but imposing no expectations. Blinking away the haze, she inhaled a trembled, hollow breath. "With us trying and all, I've been talking to my therapist about weaning off the meds because they aren't super safe during a pregnancy, which means a lot more of other methods of treatment. So we lowered my dosage a little and I'm just supposed to make it a little longer every night without checking."

Jasmine's obsessive-compulsive disorder had been mostly kept at bay over the past few years by a combination of therapy and medication, but he recalled many sleepless nights from when it was more prevalent. He remembered the pit that would fall in his stomach whenever he would wake to the mattress sinking beside him, signaling she was back from checking the door lock or the stove. He, like most people would, first envisioned meticulous cleaning and organizing when she first told him about her diagnosis, but soon he learned that was only one possible manifestation.

For Jasmine, compulsions were a need to go check something that she simply couldn't shake. The obsessive thoughts would barrel through her mind with no regard for rational thinking. It didn't matter how many times she'd dragged herself out of bed to go check already, or how desperate she was to sleep; the thoughts and the anxiety that always tagged along wouldn't go away until she got up. The anguish grated against Anthony's heart even as a bystander. For so long, there was nothing either of them could do to fight back, but after weeks and then months of treatment that started to change. Every night that passed, even the ones that were far from perfect, had Anthony growing more and more proud of his girl. He knew he was watching her endure something that would at times feel excruciating, so the least he could do was be by her side. Tonight would be no different.

Anthony pushed against the mattress to sit up, and leaned back against the headboard with his arm outstretched. "How much longer we got?"

"Ant, you don't have t-"

"I know," he said firmly, "but I don't want you sitting and stewing all on your own." He reached over to love on her, tenderly holding her opposite cheek as he began to paint every inch of the side of her face with soft, slow kisses.

"It's just another hour and a bit. I just need to get through it... it's gonna suck but then tomorrow maybe it'll be easier..." Jasmine trailed off as her eyes fell back to her lap. She soaked in the warmth of his lips for one more breath, then tilted her head away to shake off his grasp. "It's stupid, babe. The point is you should go back to sleep." Her hand softened in his as she tried to pull back, but he redoubled his grip. His spare hand moved to cradle her chin again and his thumb brushed over her cheek in soothing half circles.

"You can argue all you want baby, but I'm staying up with you. Now are you going to leave me hanging, or curl up into this awfully inviting arm and cuddle me?" He wiggled his shoulder with a goofy smile, letting her arm flop around as he held her hand tightly.

Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut, but relented as a giggle tumbled from her pursed lips. She couldn't resist the way his eyes softened through his laugh, saying more than his snarky words ever could. With a final roll of her eyes, she released his hand and curled into his side. Her head found a pillow in his chest while she was enveloped in the warmth of two protective arms around her. He knew from practice exactly how tight to squeeze so she felt secure but not trapped, and quickly the tension in her shoulders seeped away. She nuzzled against his t-shirt to inch just a little closer, as his fingers delved into the curls that tickled his chin.  The thumping of his heart coaxed her to melt just a little deeper into his arms, as his nails grazed her scalp in calming strokes.

His lips affixed to her forehead with careful attention, pressing and relaxing every few seconds. They weren't distinct kisses, as Anthony couldn't bear the thought of space between them, but rather one long transfer of the warmth and protection he wanted to seclude them in. Her eyes were squeezed shut with little creases spurting out from the outer corners, as she tried to focus on all his sweet touches while blocking out all the distractions and intrusive thoughts that threatened to disturb their peaceful little bubble. Every second she melted further and further into the embrace, letting the easy feelings of warmth and safety crowd out the obsessions that had been hoarding her energy.

Even as Jasmine started to settle, she still had nervous energy vibrating through her body. Needing an outlet, she started tracing little circles, mindless drawings, around Anthony's chest. It was an easy way to fidget; just small movements that she could keep up without shifting from the cocoon formed around her of Anthony's arms. After a while she realized it was a familiar pattern, essentially the same thing she did when she was on her own, but it felt so much safer. Whenever Jasmine needed to expel some tension on her own, she'd use her fingertips to write words on her thighs. She would silently come up with lists of absolutely anything, to let her mind focus on something other than the stressor at hand, and give her anxious buzz an escape route. The difference now was that she had yet to choose a category.

When she thought about where she was, and what brought her here, it was easy to think of something that would soothe her. She voluntarily lessened her medication not just because she wanted to give herself and Anthony the one thing they wanted most in the world, but because she already cared about that baby so deeply. She would already do anything to protect them and give them every chance at health and happiness, no matter how hard this battle to adjust might be for her. The thought of holding a baby, their baby, to her chest, and witnessing a heartbeat and giggles and cries that were all theirs to nurture was motivation enough to keep fighting, and also helped her realize the perfect inspiration for her musings.

What she hadn't realized was that the use of her new notepad also threatened to expose her little game. "Whatcha writing?" Anthony asked with a cheeky little grin.

Her fingers froze, and then curled into her palm. "Nothin', jus' fidgety I guess." Her cheeks started to burn but luckily they were still hidden as she nuzzled against his chest.

"You can keep goin' if you like. S'kinda fun being your canvas," he smiled.

She lifted her chin so he could see the shy smile that crept across her face, then unfurled her fist. For the next few moments, she focused again on mindless patterns. Fleeting circles, hearts and spirals tingled across his t-shirt until Jasmine had wrongly assumed he'd forgotten all about her artwork. She started spelling again, and Anthony tuned right in.

"J..." he thought to himself, mentally following the paths of her fingertips to solve her secret message. "U... L... I..."

"Julia? Who's that?" He asked, breaking the silence that had floated for the past few moments.

Jasmine rolled her eyes sleepily, and hushed him. "You didn't let me finish."

"E... T... T... E..." her fingers continued to dance.

"Juliette? I still don't get it," he frowned. "Who is that?"

"It's nothing babe," she sighed, "seriously it's embarrassing just ignore me. I just like to make lists when I need a distraction."

A series of kisses peppered across her forehead and temples was Anthony's way of pleading for an answer, and it had Jasmine's resolve melting away. The way he had her totally engulfed in his essence - his musky smell, the warmth of his skin pressed to hers, his voice's vibrations against her head - and the way it had her heart slowed and her mind cleared made his efforts irresistible.

"Okay, okay, fine. Was makin' a list of baby names," she mumbled under her breath.

Anthony knew better than to push her any further given her delicate state, so he tried earnestly to contain the burst of excitement that pulsed from his heart. He reached a little further with each of his hands, trying to pull her even closer despite the fact that she was already flush against his side. The thought of a family never failed to send his mind spinning, and all he could think about was being close to her. It was something they'd talked about of course, even already tonight, but something about seeing her use planning for a baby as a way to calm herself down had him near flustered. He reached down to squeeze her knee gently, then pull her leg over his hips. She was straddling him now, laying fully on top of him with her head undisturbed in the crook of his neck. He rubbed up and down her back slowly while pressing kiss after kiss to the crown of her head until she had fully settled, content with the new way their bodies had melded together.

As time passed, Jasmine no longer had to focus on steadying her breath; it had simply aligned itself with the slow rhythmic heart beat that vibrated against her cheek.  Truthfully, her focus wasn't being tugged towards anything anymore. No more worries forcing themselves upon her, and no more obsessions pleading for her attention. Instead, her mind had been granted the freedom to focus on whatever would make her feel most comfortable, most safe, and most at home. And right now, that was certainly Anthony. The stubble on his chin that prickled against her forehead, the hands that radiated heat across her back, and the soothing trills that hummed from his lips all worked in tandem to make minutes feel like seconds until Jasmine's internal timer was up. Not long after, Anthony noticed the time despite her still appearing unfazed.

"Hey, it's about time, isn't it?" His words came as quiet murmurs, with silent pleas for her to stay as calm and composed as she was before.

"Mhmm, about five minutes ago," she grumbled, nuzzling deeper into Anthony's chest.

He grinned and lowered his chin to press a kiss to the crown of her head. "Jas, that's amazing babe. You did that and I'm so, so proud of you. Do you wanna go? I can come with you, or wait here, or -"

Jasmine closed her eyes to inhale deep into her belly, letting the comfort Anthony exuded drown out the last of the her pestering thoughts. "You checked it, right? And it's fine?"

"Yeah, but there's no shame if y-"

"Okay, I think maybe I'm good," she interjected, needing him to just agree before her compulsions reclaimed the ground she'd fought for. "Maybe we could just sleep?"

His smile pressed into her curls as felt his cheeks warming with pride. "Whatever sounds best to you, angel."

Jasmine just nodded, letting her cheek rub against his chest before tilting up to kiss his chin. She smiled into the kiss he pressed to her forehead, then let herself slide off his torso to sink back into the mattress. She kept a leg draped over his, and he slithered an arm under the arch of her waist so he could pull her tighter to his side. Her head tucked into the crook of his neck like a puzzle piece locking into place, and their hands clasped together just as perfectly atop his chest. Warm breaths washed over Anthony's neck, the slow rhythm allowing his worry for Jasmine to dissipate just slightly. She was still fragile, but she was fighting through it and at least for now she was okay. Her breathing was under control, and he could keep her just like this, snuggly in his protective hold.

"D'you know how ridiculously proud of you I am?" He murmured.

He felt her cheeks puff up, her lips curling into a bashful smile, but she banished that from her tone. "No reason to be. Jus' using common sense, really."

Anthony shook his head, fighting off the emotion that was started to glass over his eyes. A lump formed in the back of his throat, as he reflected on the significance behind why Jasmine was needing to be so strong tonight. "We both know its not that simple, babe. You're fighting something wired into your brain and you're doing that for our.. for us," he choked out."You're already making sacrifices for our baby and they don't even exist yet." A tear finally broke free and slipped down his cheek. Jasmine heard the break in his voice, and reached up to press a series of kisses down the track now paved through his freckles. "I'm just, so proud of you, and I love you so much," he added, his voice no stronger than a whisper.

"I love you too, Ant." Jasmine squeezed the hand in hers and felt whatever tension they each still held disintegrate. The weight she felt had finally been lifted as a peaceful sort of exhaustion washed over her - it wasn't one she had to fight off, but one she could now embrace.

Anthony could feel a heat spreading through his chest, made of some mix of pride and admiration. This woman was a warrior and he was lucky enough to be the one by her side. He nodded down to watch her eyes flutter shut, her lips parting slightly as her breaths deepened. "Now get some rest, my love. God, do you ever deserve it."

[daddychims]

Offside pt 14

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Also Jimin not letting the female MC live for one day, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

P.S. Need to add a new category to my warnings, Author is a tease! 

You just stay frozen on your spot as the guy moves his lips smoothly on yours, before pushing you back on the bed and hovering over you. A small gasp leaves your lips and you pull away looking at him with lost eyes

“J-Jungkook-“

“Should I stop?” He asks raising an eyebrow, pupil diverting back and forth between your eyes and your lips “Hmm? You want me to stop?” He asks, his voice tinted by a mixture of lust and plea

You part your lips, but nothing leaves your lips, so he takes your silence as a sign to press his lips against yours again while his hand roams under your shirt and explores your flesh with his cold hands.

You close your eyes, diluting yourself in the feelings and forgetting everything around you for a moment. So what, maybe you should just give in and try his Golden Reputation, he may be able to blow off some of that end of semester stress and be a good fuck. Your hands travel up  to grip on the silky dark brown strands of his hair when the familiar tune of your phone jolts your right back to the reality. Shit

“Jeon,” you pull away from his lips and push against his chest “my phone-” you struggle to form the words “my phone’s ringing.”

Jungkook looks at you with hooded eyes, staring at your lips for a few seconds, lips parted and gasping for the air he deprived himself while indulging on your lips. He pauses a few moments, staring into your eyes as if he's waiting for you to just dive right back into what you were doing but when you shift against his body he finally sighs and moves away from you, puffing the air out of his chest in annoyance.

You quickly fix your shirt and fish for your phone in your bag, gulping nervously when you see the name on the screen

“Joon,” you call as you press the phone against your ears “Whats up?”

“What took you so long?” He shouts through noise in the background

“S-Sorry, I- I was busy with something,” you stutter biting the corner of your lips, hoping your bestfriend doesnt pick on your disheveled state 

“Busy?” He asks in an offended tone “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Forgot wha-“ your eyes wander around the room and stop on the soccer poster on the wall “OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry!” you quickly shift on the bed, scrambling to get your stuff, ignoring the way Jungkook’s eyes follows you with curiosity 

“Seriously Y/N?” Namjoon whines “I literally had to move all my stuff around all week just for this and you forgot!”

“I’m sorry Joon,” you mumble in an anxious tone “are you done with practice? I’ll be there in half an hour-“

“I’ll pick you up,” he offers and the alarms in your mind immediately starts ringing as you look at the guy across you

“NO- y-you must be tired, I’ll go there myself!”

“It’ll be easier for me,” he suggests “Where are you? We’ll get dinner on the way too.”

“I-I’m at …” your gaze wanders around before finally making eye contact with Jungkook “I’m at Jeon’s place.”

You watch as the corner of Jungkook’s lips curls into a small grin and your furrow your eyebrows, trying to figure out what made him so happy all of the sudden when you hear the metal locker shut closed over the phone and you jolt on your spot.

“Jeon?” Namjoon asks with a deeper voice “Jeon Jungkook? Hanguk's Jeon Jungkook?”

“Y-Yeah,” you confirm nervously

“What the hell are you doing in his house this late at night?”

“Nothing,” you quickly interject “We’re just working on something together- “

“Dude, OH MY GOD,” he freaks out over the phone and your shoulder slump in confusion “I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes. just pick your bag and get out of there,” Namjoon quickly suggest as you hear him fiddle with his stuff over the phone “RIGHT NOW!”

“Fine!” you pout before adding "See ya!" you say in a small voice and hang up the phone

You quickly grab your phone and climb down Jungkook’s bed when he stops you by holding your arm and you turn around.

“Where are you going?” He asks with an annoyed tone

“Oh,” you quickly realise that you forgot to explain so you quickly mutter “I had a thing with-with Joon and I totally forgot. He’s gonna pick me up in a second- “

“what thing?” He raises an eyebrow looking at you with interrogating eyes

“I’m helping him with something,” you explain “Why?”

“Just-“he shifts his gaze away as his tongue pokes to his cheek “Is he gonna bring Park Jimin along again?”

“What? No!” you immediately reject his hypothesis

“How would I know?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow “Last time you said you blocked him but I found him grinding on you in Casa!”

“I- We didnt-“ you blush as you quickly shift your bag on your shoulder, trying to form a cohesive sentence 

“don’t forget,” Jungkook warns as he stands up, his face now level with yours as he leans over to you “We have a deal, if I see you with him again, I’ll start smoking again.”

“Fine,” you nod and suddenly remember the reason you were in that room with him all over again “take your medication okay? I’ll check the dosage next time.” You instruct as a tint of red starts creeping on your cheek "Dont forget the difference, they're not like your puffer!" 

"I dont think I'll ever forget that!" He smirks in response "Thanks to your comprehensive instruction!" he wiggles his eyebrows 

"Okay!" you feel your face melting from the heat "I gotta go-"

“when are you coming over again?” he asks with a smirk

“I’ll let you know,” you suggest with an uncertain tone, wanting to get out of that room as soon as possibile 

“Alright,” he nods with a smirk “I’ll wait for your call then.”

You nod and turn around but before you leave you remember the nicotine gums you’ve received from Dr Kim and you quickly take them out of your bag “This is for you,” you hand them to him “I got them from Dr Kim-“ you pause as his expression hardens and you immediately add “Of course I didn’t say I got them for you.”

You watch as he relaxes and reaches for them "whats this?"

“Nicotine gums, they’ll be helpful when you're starting to quit smoking, give it a go.”

He stares at the box in his hand before bringing his eyes to you, this time his eyes containing a different tint of emotion. Like a lost deer looking for his way in a really large forest and you gulp as you feel your heart thrumming against your chest watching those eyes. You realise right there and then that you're not to be trusted with your judgement when you're with the guy alone. 

“I gotta go,” you quickly suggest as you turn on your heels and leave him behind.

-

“What are we eating-” you ask with an excited tone, sparing a look at your best friend but the glare he shoots your way immediately dries your excitement and you bit yours lips turning away and looking out the window

“Sure,” he scoffs “avoid me all you want, we can have this conversation at home in front of Jiwoo,” he pauses and you immediately jolt around to face him as he continues “maybe she’d be interested to know you’re fucking Hanguk’s Golden Dick too!”

“JOON!” You gasp, blood rushing to your cheeks “I’m not f-fucking him.”

“You stuttered,” he points out like he finally caught you “How far did you guys go before I called huh? Foreplay? Did you suck his dick?”

“Nothing,” you raise your voice defensively “I was just teaching him his medications.”

“Of course,” he rolls his eyes and brings his eyes back to the road “How long has it been since your last break up?”

At the mention of your dating life you immediately scowl “We’re not talking about my dating life-“

“Yes the fuck we are,” he nods determined “It’s been a year and you haven’t fucked a single person since,” he explains like he’s explaining cell reproduction and not your sex life “and now you’re so sexually frustrated you’re about to ruin your life by fucking the most famous fuckboy in your campus.”

“I AM NOT OH MY GOD,” you raise your voice “why are you all convinced I’m fucking someone?”

“Then it’s not just me,” Joon furrows his eyebrows “As your best friend, I'm offended. Who was the smarty pants noticing earlier than me?”

“Joon, women are different,” you explain in an exasperated tone “We don’t have to get our coochie wet every living second of our lives. We function differently to you guys.”

“Keep lying to yourself darling,” he scoffs with a mocking tone “Won’t be long enough before Mr Golden Dick pounds you so good you see stars, and the next minute you call me crying in the middle of the road telling me how you fell in love with fuckboy. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

“Okay fine,” you finally give up “he made some moves-“

“some?” Joon raises an eyebrow “elaborate? How many times?”

“I don’t know, a few times but nothing serious,” you reassure “this is all because of Dr Kim’s homework and me helping him with his asthma. That’s all!”

“I told you before, he’s infamous for luring girls in,” Joon starts his little lecture again and you sigh “he also likes the challenge!”

“I know, I’ve been working in the same soccer club as him for two years, he's not the only one either, they all love a bit of banter with literally the only girl other than the 50 years old secretory in that club,” you reassure him “don’t worry Joon! I got this!”

“Okay fine,” Namjoon finally sighs in agreement “In the next couple of parties just hang around me and the SNU guys, if he notices you’re not interest he will get bored and go with stick to his chicks soon enough.”

“Noted grandpa.” you nod in an annoyed tone

“What the hell is he playing at?” Namjoon asks rhetorically as he spares a look at you “you’re not even his usual type!”

“Wow,” you smile bitterly at his remarks, not knowing why you're slightly hurt by the fact that you're not Jeon's type “I’m flattered Joon.”

“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” he rolls his eyes “I mean he’s frat boy, he’s not into commitment.”

“And?” you raise an eyebrow

“Wasn’t that why you broke up with Min Yoongi?”

At the mention of his name you immediately frown and mutter “what are we eating again?

He immediately notices your displease with the topic of your ex-boyfriend and mutters “Jimin’s at my place cooking! He said he’s gonna do Indian tonight”

“WHAT?”

“I said,” he pronounces the words clearly “Jimin’s at my place cooking. He offered to cook seeing how stressed I was about you being late.”

“Why did you invite him?” you scold “God, why do you do this to me?”

“Whats your problem with Park?” he furrows his eyebrows “He’s a good guy, he also likes hanging out with you so you don’t need to third wheel me and Jiwoo.”

“JOON,” you call his name in a frustrated tone “The person you should be worrying about is not Jeon, but the one is right under you nose.”

The car comes to a halt and Namjoon turns the key to turn the car off in front of his house “What do you mean?” he asks with a lost tone

“You’re clueless, aren’t you?” you sigh but before you can explain to him a knock on the car window brings catches both of your attention and you see Jiwoo standing against the driver’s window.

“You’re late!” Jiwoo declares as both of you get out of the car

“Someone forgot our dinner plan tonight!” Joon rolls his eyes and walk ahead of the two of you to open the door to his apartment

Jiwoo quickly runs to you and tangles her hand into yours as she murmurs “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile “he’s just grumpy I forgot our plan. Did you wait long?”

“No, got here just now,” she smiles in response “thanks for coming, otherwise I would have had an awkward conversation with Hoseok, When I say I'm coming out with you, he never asks me more.”

“You haven’t told him yet?” you ask with a concerned tone

“Not yet,” she shakes her head “I’ll wait after the games, I’m scared the shock will throw him off his track for the games.”

“What if he knows after they lose in the finals to SNU?” You joke with curious tone “not only he loses the game, he loses his sister to SNU too!” you laugh as you imagine the evil scheme you portray

“Laugh at my misery all you want,” Jiwoo pouts “I’ll take my revenge when finally one of the Hanguk’s fuckboys breaks your heart.”

“In your dreams!” you stick your tongue out and you both laugh as you enter Joon’s house

Upon entering the house, you quickly make your way to his bathroom to wash your hands, deciding to leave the couple to their own for a moment.

As you expected Joon sealed the deal on the night you guys went to Casa, when he drove Jiwoo home and asked her out on the same night. To your surprise the two went along really well, especially since you wondered the age gap and the fact that the two may not have a lot of interests in common may become a hurdle.

But Jiwoo has been calling and texting you every night, freaking out about how sweet your best friend is and why you didn’t introduce him to her earlier on. If only she knew the reason behind your hesitation was the fact that his brother knows any day the first person, he’ll scold will be you.

You’ve known Hoseok and Jiwoo longer than you started working in Hanguk’s soccer club. Perhaps because he was always present in the same games that you always went to cheer on Joon, playing in the opponent's team. Thats how you started hanging out with Jiwoo, since she was always the other girl coming to the 90 minute games to cheer on her brother. 

You’ve heard from Jiwoo that Hoseok has a weird competitiveness with Joon, not in a negative of course. The two challenged each other and became each other’s pacemaker in the field and that’s why the finales always ended up with the two teams they lead playing against each other.

Knowing that, you were apprehensive about introducing Jiwoo to Joon considering he showed interest way earlier than you actually put some action in. but that was because you were scared that you may break the synergy between Joon and Hoseok by bringing a girl who they care about between the two.

You are already dreading the day Hoseok finally becomes aware that the two are going out and you’re the reason behind this whole thing.

You sigh and reach for the bathroom’s doorknob, twisting the metal to open it but the door opens from the other side unrevealing a half naked guy, the towel loosely hanging on his lower body as he stares at you.

“Hey,” He calls, the side of his lips curling into a small smirk while he rest his hand on the doorframe, flashing his body which resembles the old Greek Gods.

"Park Jimin!"

You gulp as he wraps his arms around your waist and pull you firm and close against his body as he murmurs “Is this the night where I finally get to taste some of your Placebo Effect?”

[scoupsy-remade]

For this gif tutorial I’m going to try to keep it as basic as possible, I may add a few tips for coloring at the end, but for the most part this is going to be how I make my basic gif. Also I’m not going to use my vapoursynth to process the video beforehand, just because I know not everyone uses it and it’s harder to learn. This is going to be just a downloaded mp4 video through the gif process. Don’t let the idea that this is a BASIC TUTORIAL fool you, I’m going to try to teach you a lot of things. It’s gonna get wordy, but i will try my hardest to keep the process easy. I’m just going to explain what things do instead of having you just copy + paste my method and not know what it means. okay? okay.

Before we start though, if you plan of giffing live stages you either need to accept the they will not be super crisp and clear OR learn how to use avisynth/vapoursynth to resize the videos without quality loss.

If you just want to gif music videos or variety shows then this should still give you HQ gifs.

Other notes:

try to ONLY use 1080p and up video if possible, maybe 720p if you’re really desperate, but anything under that... it’s not going to look good at all, so try to avoid using them.

The Photoshop I am using is PS 2020, so all my screenshots will be from that version and with my weird set up. But I’ve been using pretty much the same method since cc 2015 so other than the fact that some placements and names are tweaked, it’s the same. (If you can’t find something on your version shoot me an ask and I’ll try to help! And asks I get on this tutorial I’ll link HERE for future reference) 

CUTTING VIDEO

To cut videos I’ll just use my quicktime player.

I use edit > trim to select the portion of the video I plan to gif and save that as it’s own new mov file.

which pops up this tab 

that you just slide until the part you want to gif is selected

then just save it as a new video and your done with part 1

ENTER PHOTOSHOP

Now what we’ll do is open our photoshop and import that clip into layers

FILE > IMPORT > VIDEO FRAMES TO LAYERS and select your video.

A small pop up will appear to show the clip you’re opening, you can trim it further here or just keep going by clicking okay

my setup is weird for drawing BUT you should have it looking remotely like this: 

The things you will DEFINITELY need to see are TIMELINE, LAYERS, ADJUSTMENTS. If you don’t have these sections you can add them to your screen by clicking on the WINDOW tab at the very top menu bar and clicking on them

LAYERS - this is pretty self explanatory but each row is a layer in the gif. the more layers the bigger the gif will end up, the longer it plays. So bigger clips will have more layers and end up as larger gifs in the end.

TIMELINE - This is where you can edit the gifs timing (make it faster or slower) 

We’ll be doing a bit of work with it so it’s important to know it well

ADJUSTMENTS - Best friend and worst nightmare. this is where ALL the tedious recoloring is done. VERY rarely would you not use these. 99.9% of kpop things are filmed through a green or blue lense so you’ll want to fix that to not have ghost idols

So, Let’s make a gif

Step 1 - In the top right corner of your timeline is a set of lines, click there and then click SELECT ALL FRAMES

under each frame is a time stamp (this video’s is 0.04) this decides how fast each clip goes by, or how quickly the gif moves. Personally I prefer slower gifs, but I say anywhere between 0.04-0.06 is a decent speed.

Step 2 - with all the frames selected, click on the small down arrow next to any of the frames and change the speed to your liking. (I’m going to use .06)

Step 3 - in that same tab of lines we’ll now click CONVERT TO VIDEO TIMELINE, which will change our Timeline to look like this:

Step 4 - Back in our very TOP menu we’ll click SELECT > ALL LAYERS, then on the TOP menu click FILTER > CONVERT FOR SMART FILTERS (this might take your computer a minute since our File is still pretty large.) Now our Time line will look like this: 

Step 5 - Sharpening

This one is VERY MUCH something you’re going to have to play with to get your settings to be how you like them. It’s also where I’d use topaz adjustments, BUT since I said we’re doing basic PS gif we’re just going to be using smart sharpening. SO: 

 in the TOP munu again, click FILTER > SHARPEN > SMART SHARPEN

A pop up window will appear and you can edit the settings to your liking. Mine:

Step 6 - Resize your gif or crop it to tumblrs standards:  big singal gifs have a 540px width ||  Two gifs use 268px || and three gifs use 177/178px

To do this we’ll use the crop tool and type in our dimensions in the menu bar:

and then crop to your liking. (this doesnt resize the gif it just crops to the correct ratio so we still have to shrink the gif) 

Next, we’ll resize the gif to that size in the TOP menu click IMAGE > IMAGE SIZE a pop up menu will appear and you’ll type in your resize ratio and click enter.

Now technically thats a gif. it’s TECHNICALLY done. but mine is white washed and there are words on it that I dont want so onto the coloring and blurring. 

First I’m going to show you how I blur text on gifs. because text is EVERYWHERE in kpop content and it’s hideous and I hate it. so lets kill it.

BLURRING LETTERING

First we’re going to add a new blank layer to our LAYER TAB by clicking the little box with the + inside at the bottom

Sometimes doing this can mess up the timeline’s selection but its SUPER easy to fix so lets do that. 

So in our timeline we have these two bars on each side that select what part of the gif will play. this is also where you can readjust your gif if it has extra frames at the end, or it ends up being too large and you have to make the gif smaller to save it. Just click and drag the bars back to where our gif actually ends, and all is fixed!

Now on our new layer we’re gonna take a paint brush (one of the ones with a lot of fade NOT the solid circle ) and paint over where the words are like so:

MAKE SURE ITS ON OUR BLANK LAYER AND NOT THE GIF LAYER!!

I know it looks stupid but trust me okay. 

Now in your LAYER tab we’re going to duplicate our gif layer by right clicking on it and selecting duplicate. 

Then we’re going to drag the new gif layer so that it’s above the paint layer in our LAYER tab :

Now, right click on the top gif layer and select CREATE CLIPPING MASK. it should put a little down arrow to the left of the picture, toward the paint layer. This means the gif is ONLY visible where that paint is now.

So we’re going to click on FILTER in the TOP menu again (while we still have that top gif selected!) and Go to BLUR > GAUSSIAN BLUR. a pop up menu will appear and you can just drag the radius until the text is as blurry as you want it to be. (also IF you missed part of the text, you can just go add more paint to your paint layer and it will blur wherever you paint!) 

so now my gif is like so:

So now we’ll color him, because he’s pretty washed out.

ADJUSTMENTS

This is where I’m going to be the least specific about what I do and more about what tools do, so that you can learn how to color things the way you like them!

The Adjustment tab on Photoshop has 16 options but I’m really only going to talk about 6 of them. We’ll do it in order though. All the actual adjustment tools will open in the PROPERTIES tab

Brightness / Contrast  - Pretty self explanatory, but definitely should be toward the end of your coloring, as if can effect the quality a lot. Small adjustments do A LOT so don’t go crazy, 

Levels - Levels is all about the balance of how dar or light your gifs will be if you adjust in the RGB layer it will adjust for the entire image, but if you change the selection to RED/GREEN/BLUE it will adjust just those colors hues. Also there are three small droppers to the left of the graph. using those you can select which part of the gif you want the image to recognize as the lightest/darkest part of the gif, and the tool will adjust the gifs coloring to that point. ( play with those droppers! magic happens i swear!) 

Curves - Kind of like levels but instead of how light or dark the entire image is it works more on contrast. REALLY play with the curves options, i’m sure most things you can do with other tools can also just be done in curves if you’re patient enough to learn

Vibrance / Saturation -  Vibrance will make duller parts of an image higher contract and brighter and saturation will make everything a more neon shade. or in reverse lowering vibrance will dull out the things that were already neutral and saturation will dull out the more vibrant parts of the image (usually reds)

Color Balance - Good for fixing tones. so if a live stage is SUPER BLUE!!!!! you can readjust and calm down the blues to dull them out or get rid of them completely. Again play with this its insane what it can do 

Selective Color - adjusts the different colors in your image without touching the other colors. if you wanna touch the reds, make them pinker but not change the blues and greens, you do it here

If you want MORE drawn out explanations of what each of the 16 adjustment layers do here and here are actual articles you can look at.  But it’s all about practice. playing with all the adjustments alone and together. Finding out what you like to do!

Now when you gif is ALLLLL colored and you’re ready to save it we do FILE > EXPORT > SAVE FOR THE WEB and a whole new window of options pops up. I’ll give you two examples of how to play with those options and then we’re done! 

keep in MIND tumblr’s gif limit is 10MB which is pretty huge now, but still watch your gif size!!!!

AND SAVE your done!

I hope this was helpful! Let me know if you have any questions,again I’ll have an ask tag for it and it’ll get linked HERE if people end up needing help!

Happy giffing!!!

[surviiived]

Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY.  This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-OCS, AUS, AND ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WELCOME. I don’t care who your muse is. I’m all for OCs, crossovers, AUs, anything!! Just know I’m a bit more selective towards fandoms I don’t know about lol

-NO ONE-LINERS. I need some more interest in our thread from your end so I don’t lose muse as well. One-liners are fine for crack threads, but nowhere else. I’m fine with single to multiparagraph, and that’s how I will be writing.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-DONT REBLOG THINGS FROM ME. Honestly, guys this just gets on my nerves. It’s a bit irrational...but also irritating because when I check my phone and see a notification from a mutual, I get excited because I think it’s a reply! But then I realize you just reblogged that meme/musing/whatever. Please, only reblog threads from me and everything else from the source. This includes memes, musings, pictures, and promos. Also, pls don’t reblog my PSAs, if you agree with them let me know so I can post it to my rp memes blog, which I would LOVE for you to reblog it from!!

-REBLOGGING ASKS AND TRIMMING THREADS. I’m not as strict as a lot of people over this, but some mutuals of mine are so please trim your threads when you reply to me. If you are in a situation where you can’t, that’s perfectly fine. However, thanks to this new Tumblr update I cannot trim asks because I don’t have xKit. So I ask for you to trim them for me, and if you can’t either then I’ll figure something out. Also with asks, I’m fine with you reblogging an ask to continue it. I will turn it into a separate thread for my friends’ sake.

-UNFOLLOWS. There’s a low chance I will unfollow someone, and the only reasons I can think of are spreading drama, being inactive for over a month without a hiatus, something else that annoys me, or too many OOC posts. The latter is why I am hesitant to follow back personal blogs who roleplay on said blog, but it’s not impossible. I won’t follow personal blogs from side blogs, but if you let me know you are a side blog I will gladly follow where you roleplay.

-DONT INVOLVE ME IN DRAMA. I hate drama. I’m the type of person who wants absolutely nothing to do with it. If I ask about what’s going on, then you’re welcome to tell me, but other than that, don’t talk to me about it. I won’t take sides. I won’t tell other people what’s going on. I’ll only act like nothing’s happening.

-SPOILERS. This is kinda hard with an Identity V blog... I don’t really anticipate there being any spoilers on this blog?? But if a new diary entry comes out or a deduction for a new character, sure, I’ll tag it for a couple of weeks.

-REQUESTING MUSES. If you don’t request a specific character in an ask or a starter call, I won’t write it. I just don’t have the time to go to you and ask which character you want, nor try to guess what you were thinking when you sent something in or liked a starter call. So I just won’t respond to whatever it is. This is the case when requesting one of my muses or picking one of your muses, if you’re a multi like me. Sorry..!!

Romance Rules:

-NO SMUT. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not that I’m a minor (which I’m not), it’s that it makes me uncomfortable. You will never see smut on this blog. I’m fine with heavy make out scenes, but when the clothes start to come off is where I request a fade to black.

-I LOVE TO WRITE ROMANCE THREADS. I’m a pretty big hopeless romantic, as that’s where most of my muse is generated from. I may want to add a ship to our thread at some point, but will never force it.

-REFUSALS. NO pedofilia, NO incest, NO rape, or ANYTHING nasty like that. I understand that sometimes in writing dark situations occur, as some of these things are in my muses’ backstory. So, if you write any of those things, I’m not going to block you. However, if you request to do any of that stuff with me, I’ll say no. Press the issue, I’ll hard block you. I shouldn’t have to hear you request it the first time, as it’s right here in my rules and that means you didn’t read them. But I’ll go easy until you cross a line.

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for three years. I really love writing, you know?

-WARNING, I WRITE GORE. I tend to go into detail about pain, suffering, death, and just very demented topics. That’s just a warning. If you have a problem with that, you may not want to follow me…

-TAGGING. Gore, murder, suicide, and other dark and triggering things will be tagged, but swearing will not. I swear far too much for me to remember to tag it. Also, I don’t post NSFW images or threads on this blog, so don’t worry about that, but I will tag asks and memes that can be perceived as nsfw. I tag things like this (using death as an example): “tw: death”. If you have any triggers, PLEASE let me know so I can tag them. There’s always a chance I might forget about something, and if I do please tell me. I’ll make sure not to forget a second time. Also, I ask you all tag vomit mentions, even if it’s just written, and ESPECIALLY TAG VISUALS OF THROW UP!!!! That is my ONLY trigger. Thank you.

-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020. 

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred​ that’s connected to my multi, @nycttophilic.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[smutav]

So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy

the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline

(M) Old Man   = O1 / (J) Old Man   = O2 / Xray          = X / Vav           = V

we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men

O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"

X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]

O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]

[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]

X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]

V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]

[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]

I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))

V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R  = rimmy tim / M = mogar

(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))

(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar

(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"

((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.

and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))

(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??

(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed

(Finale leadup)

- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out

- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem

- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission

(flashback)

- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C

(Finale)

- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]

- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK

(epilogue)

- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."

so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator. 

I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content

I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab

[hxlf-bred]

Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

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-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for almost three years now. I really love writing, you know?

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-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to Roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of 2020.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a main multimuse blog over at @nycttophilic and an Identity V multimuse at @surviiived!!

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

[nycttophilic]

Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY.  This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-OCS, AUS, AND ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WELCOME. I don’t care who your muse is. I’m all for OCs, crossovers, AUs, anything!! Just know I’m a bit more selective towards fandoms I don’t know about lol

-NO ONE-LINERS. I need some more interest in our thread from your end so I don’t lose muse as well. One-liners are fine for crack threads, but nowhere else. I’m fine with single to multiparagraph, and that’s how I will be writing.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the Rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-DONT REBLOG THINGS FROM ME. Honestly, guys this just gets on my nerves. It’s a bit irrational...but also irritating because when I check my phone and see a notification from a mutual, I get excited because I think it’s a reply! But then I realize you just reblogged that meme/musing/whatever. Please, only reblog threads from me and everything else from the source. This includes memes, musings, pictures, and promos. Also, pls don’t reblog my PSAs, if you agree with them let me know so I can post it to my rp memes blog, which I would LOVE for you to reblog it from!!

-REBLOGGING ASKS AND TRIMMING THREADS. I’m not as strict as a lot of people over this, but some mutuals of mine are so please trim your threads when you reply to me. If you are in a situation where you can’t, that’s perfectly fine. However, thanks to this new Tumblr update I cannot trim asks because I don’t have xKit. So I ask for you to trim them for me, and if you can’t either then I’ll figure something out. Also with asks, I’m fine with you reblogging an ask to continue it. I will turn it into a separate thread for my friends’ sake.

-UNFOLLOWS. There’s a low chance I will unfollow someone, and the only reasons I can think of are spreading drama, being inactive for over a month without a hiatus, something else that annoys me, or too many OOC posts. The latter is why I am hesitant to follow back personal blogs who roleplay on said blog, but it’s not impossible. I won’t follow personal blogs from side blogs, but if you let me know you are a side blog I will gladly follow where you roleplay.

-DONT INVOLVE ME IN DRAMA. I hate drama. I’m the type of person who wants absolutely nothing to do with it. If I ask about what’s going on, then you’re welcome to tell me, but other than that, don’t talk to me about it. I won’t take sides. I won’t tell other people what’s going on. I’ll only act like nothing’s happening. 

-SPOILERS. I will tag spoilers for everything that’s not in the anime. For example, if a post contains something in the BSD fandom that’s not in the anime, I will tag it. I doubt I will tag threads for spoilers, and if there’s a character that’s manga only I won’t tag it (ESPECIALLY if I write that character, like Daki.)

-REQUESTING MUSES. If you don’t request a specific character in an ask or a starter call, I won’t write it. I just don’t have the time to go to you and ask which character you want, nor try to guess what you were thinking when you sent something in or liked a starter call. So I just won’t respond to whatever it is. This is the case when requesting one of my muses or picking one of your muses, if you’re a multi like me. Sorry..!!

Romance Rules:

-NO SMUT. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not that I’m a minor (which I’m not), it’s that it makes me uncomfortable. You will never see smut on this blog. I’m fine with heavy make out scenes, but when the clothes start to come off is where I request a fade to black.

-I LOVE TO WRITE ROMANCE THREADS. I’m a pretty big hopeless romantic, as that’s where most of my muse is generated from. I may want to add a ship to our thread at some point, but will never force it.

-REFUSALS. NO pedofilia, NO incest, NO rape, or ANYTHING nasty like that. I understand that sometimes in writing dark situations occur, as some of these things are in my muses’ backstory. So, if you write any of those things, I’m not going to block you. However, if you request to do any of that stuff with me, I’ll say no. Press the issue, I’ll hard block you. I shouldn’t have to hear you request it the first time, as it’s right here in my rules and that means you didn’t read them. But I’ll go easy until you cross a line. 

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for three years. I really love writing, you know?

-WARNING, I WRITE GORE. I tend to go into detail about pain, suffering, death, and just very demented topics. That’s just a warning. If you have a problem with that, you may not want to follow me…

-TAGGING. Gore, murder, suicide, and other dark and triggering things will be tagged, but swearing will not. I swear far too much for me to remember to tag it. Also, I don’t post NSFW images or threads on this blog, so don’t worry about that, but I will tag asks and memes that can be perceived as nsfw. I tag things like this (using death as an example): “tw: death”. If you have any triggers, PLEASE let me know so I can tag them. There’s always a chance I might forget about something, and if I do please tell me. I’ll make sure not to forget a second time. Also, I ask you all tag vomit mentions, even if it’s just written, and ESPECIALLY TAG VISUALS OF THROW UP!!!! That is my ONLY trigger. Thank you.

-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to Roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred and an Identity V multimuse at @surviiived.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

[gg-astrology]

hello!!! it’s me again hehe.... i just wanted to ask do the rulers of your rising sign affect on how people see you? for example!! i have a 16° (2nd decan) scorpio rising, with my rulers on (7°) 4H pisces mars and (18°) 2H sag pluto!! and i honestly don’t think i’m intimidating (or intense?) at all!! (maybe it’s my 2nd decan scorp rising) but any thoughts on this? tysm!! 🥰🥰🥰

Hey there!! 💕💕💕 Aaah everytime I see your name I just bust the biggest uwu!! 💕💕 (all the fan-meeting content with the boys in cute head-gears are so wonderful as well, so my mood is: high) 💕💕💕 

This is so interesting?? 💕💕I took some time to think about it, and it seems to be something people come to realize, expect or become a part of ‘how’ they get to know you? 💕

Chart Rulers n (kinda) How it works with ASC (brief)  ⬇️

Your chart ruler will probably have an effect on what you know about yourself as well (since thats essentially the 1st house ruler) 💕

*ALSO whatever placement you have in your 1st house!!! Is also!!! Important!!!! This doesn’t neglect from that!!! 💕💕💕 Pls remember!! 💕💕

Anyways, it can also contextualize things because it’s supposed to lie in certain houses (like your pisces Mars in 4th, sag pluto in 2nd) – giving context clues as to ‘where’ you belong and what you’re known for/best realized in (*aspects to angles can also indicate this as well) 💕

Like imagine your ascendant going ‘hello! 💕I will be your guide for today! 💕’ and leading the gaggle of tourists to your chart ruler ( ‘and here we observe x in their natural habitat’) as a part of a ‘tour in getting to know ‘you’’ – is how I’d imagine it? 💕(as part of the ‘components’ of you) 💕

For me, how I’d observe this in in what house it lies in (the chart rulers) and what connection is it making (aspects)? 💕I kinda start to realize how people approach me, what for. What they’re relying/depending on me for, what they know me as and how I come across through that? 💕

It’s an accumulation of descriptions people give about you, that’s not necessarily what you see yourself coming from, but resonates with what they came to realize/perceive you as as well? 💕

It’s kinda like not exactly knowing why people say you’re nice or like this/that – but also having a vague idea/clue about how they could’ve picked up on that from an interaction you’ve had together. That becomes a ‘defining’ factor for them, and their impression of you sometimes? 💕

Let’s work through some examples? 

Like with me, I have a Sagittarius ascendant and a Sagittarius Jupiter (chart ruler) in 12th. It’s conjunct to my Venus (Sag) as well. 

But I zoom in on the 12th house part of it and start to realize there’s a reason people come to me for help with self-realization (self-help) stuff? 💕

That’s the influence of my 12th house where my chart ruler lies, but it also influences how got to ‘know’ me as well (or realize things about me, past my Sagittarius ascendant) 💕

Contextually – I like being alone, quiet things, one on one conversations. I like to direct my energy that way– when I’m not ‘forced’ to interact but can do so with my own time, pace, energy if I need it. When I have ‘space’. And that’s a part of the 12th house as well. 

As my chart ruler– it’s literally telling me I do better when I can have a personal channel with someone in order to connect and contribute this way? 💕 And that’s when it manifests best. 

But it’s also telling me I’m a stickass for helping people when I can’t help myself, or don’t know myself all that well yet (which leads to embarrassment later for me to go through ksjdnk) 

Whatever house your chart ruler lies in doesn’t indicate  ‘good’ or ‘bad’ — it’s just things being things, put into a context for you to see, realize and work on skdjnf

So let’s look at you. Scorpio rising with your chart ruler being in 4th and 2nd. What does the sign say about your traits? Pisces can be homebodies, can find comfort in being ‘in touch’ with themselves (but not too much because otherwise its 🤪’time to yeet’ for them) escapism when conflict arises from someone else (escalation in tension/emotions/anger) – also a sense of self-isolation for self-preservation (protecting themselves from danger)

But also a sense of acceptance in allowing others to ‘feel’ things and talk about it– listener and confidant, a safe space for people to go to if it’s not too heavy. If others can accept you, then you can accept them (*not always since you do tend to have good judgment on who deserves and doesn’t deserve your ‘acceptance’). If you vibe that they’re ‘good’ (and low-maintenance let’s be serious) and they help make you feel ‘not anxious’ around them (comfortable) – then it’s all good with you.

Comfort is a thing, y know? You want to be stress-free or comfortable in a ‘safe space’. And that space sometimes is the home or those around you, it’s the ‘i dont want to be alone’ but at the same time not wanting to push/exert yourself into a high-energy side of you. Just a comfortable– relaxed, accepted state.

On the other hand, you also have Sagittarius Pluto in 2nd. Making moves, acquiring skills and goals. Ambition and desire to accumulate and make changes (or add coins into the piggy back you call ‘self’ or ‘value’ – or ‘self-value/worth’ sometimes) An enthusiast and connoisseur ™️ for the Things in life. 

Things that would serve a purpose after they’re bought/acquired. Things that can be referred to or used repeatedly. Things that isn’t expendable or disposable after one time usage. Harder to acquire things– whether it’s objects, values, philosophical ideas (self-love, self-care) things that can make changes bigger than just what it is (an idea, a book, clothes that can be styled so many different ways and become a ‘stable’ in your closet)

So what does this all have to do with your chart ruler and ascendant? It’s how people get to know you, impressions of you (part of it, part of the components) and how they perceive you.

People take note of this ‘value/worth’ quality in you from your 2nd house Sag Pluto, they may realize that you’re more interested in what to do with it rather than the thing itself as well. They may be fascinated with how you do it, how you just gravitate or naturally look past the initial and straight into the application/execution of the idea. What knowledge you’ve accumulated, what your insights and perceptions are. What and how it changes things. 

They can also notice how you accumulate those things– keep it safe from other’s hands ( since the 2nd house is the ‘self’ and the 8th house talks about ‘others’ ) you’re not necessarily the sharing type, but more like the person who has all these things and is doing something with it and people are taking notice of it. 

If I call you possessive would that be a fair observation? Sometimes you just don’t want to share, or hold yourself back from doing so unless it’s something you unclench your fist for ( clenching your fist around the 2nd house and calling it ‘mine, my safety/security, nobody is taking it from me’) – it’s not necessarily a bad thing, in fact most people probably realize your personal space and need for security with it. But also what you’ve accumulated as part of yourself/your self-worth as well.

Another component to your ASC + Chart Ruler component is this Pisces Mars in 4th. When you’re at home – you’re different. Well, not different. But if you have a comfortable and Good home environment (people who are good for you around you) you’re much more relaxed and less tense/nervous than how you are than say – another house.

It’s like coming home to see you chilling on the couch doing your thing, watching something or drawing/writing whatever it is you do. Having a catch up on What Goeth On outside in the individual daily life and just– y know, generally keeping the tension-low in the home/personal environment.

If there IS tension, it’s like your escapism kicks in. Either your anxiety rise and you scurry to try to fix it right away (because you know it’ll be a bigger problem later and you’ll drown in self-demotivation) or you plug in the ear phones and leave to go to bed (and chill in there until it’s over). 

These becomes things that defines part of your ASC as it’s chart rulers, and outlines things that will need to be dealt with or talked about as well. Sometimes it’s just taking notice of the way people treats you, and how it progresses from first impressions -> seeing you in different environment/context (4th house especially, like when they live with you) or just the trait they came to realize about you as you ‘let them in’ sometimes. 💕

Also sometimes its just.. hmm... the houses itself, the 4th house and the 2nd house-- perhaps the themes around those houses such as family, home/domestic life, private situation or personal stories. As well as ‘how to..’ do something situation can be how/what people approach you for as well? 💕 Word of advice and comfort, or your ‘expertise’ on subjects they perceive you to have good energy in (2nd or 4th) 

 So yeah!! 💕 It’s not necessarily intimidating, since we’re not just looking at Mars and Pluto but where they are, in what signs? 💕There’s obviously more to you than just your chart ruler, but it’s a really cool thing isn’t it?? 💕💕

Anyways, I hope this kinda helps?? ;; or answer your ask?? 💕💕💕 Thank you for sending it in!!! 💕💕💕And i hope you have a good day!! 💕💕

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, page 4 reaction

So, is John going to zap to the next plot point now, or will it switch back to Earth C?

I wonder, if it's the latter, whether we might see something from an antagonist, or a less important character, like Jack Noir or GCATavrosprite. And if the former, I wonder if John will venture further into (a retconned version of) the Game Over timeline, or not?

---

"You arrive in the Land of Heat and Clockwork in a flash of white." OOOoooh, LOHAC! Will he visit Dave - well, presumably yes. But will he revisit the moment he zapped back to, when he came to ask for help regarding his retcon powers?

... I kind of like Blaperile's idea better, that he revisits the point in time he disrupted before, the conversation between Dave & Jade, but which he afterwards retconned again, sending himself to go find Roxy? ... Wait, it was never really explained where that John that bapped himself on the head came from, I swear, if this is (out-of-comic) retconned as having been this 23-year-old John... Okay, I might have forgotten if Rx John had already gone back. ... Okay yeah, it already happened. Page 8333 vs 9047 of Homestuck. Anyway...

Hmm, GO Dave never used the eggsword much in the end (Caledfwlch), as he went after Jade's body and tied to a critical devilbeast combo. But I don't think John'll take it?

"Through the condensation you can make out the shapes of Dave and Jade below, as well as two more of you hovering in the air above. Both Johns turn to look at you." PFfffffff, of course he draws his other selves attention. Why would it resolve so cleanly as they zapping away in the background. Dave had a fit before when he saw one, but now, if he'll acknowledge all three...

"On the ground, Dave is talking in a particular cadence, one that is familiar to you, his longtime best buddy. Casual, wandering, verging on droning. It’s a good indication he’ll be monologuing for a while, and probably already has been." Yeah, GO Dave was summing up all the reasons he didn't particularly want to do anything about LE. Retconned Dave just thought he should fulfill the prophecy to get it over with, but that's about the end of his commitment in the matter too. Only Davepetasprite^2 really felt like going up against LE. Will Caledfwlch make it into their hands?

"DAVE: thats what...DAVE: you do...DAVE: with..." Awesome, he even gets trailed off at exactly the same moment in his monologue. :D

"DAVE: karate. john what the fuck are you doing hereDAVE: or... waitDAVE: actually three johnsDAVE: hey three johns what the fuck are three johns doing here" Dave is so whatever about this, it's hilarious. Then again, he's been all around LOHACSE thrice in a single day, he's got some experience in the matter of walking around alt time selves.

Also, I wonder if Dave (and Jade) will notice he's an older version of John. If not, his god tier powers probably keep him youthful, like Superman.

"It’s a fair question, which logically should have been directed to the oldest and most knowledgeable John. Nevertheless, one of the younger Johns replies first." Pfff, the second oldest one then? The one that came back here with a semblance of purpose, not randomly zapping through canon? Plus, if Dave wouldn't notice a difference between the Johns, neither would the younger ones.

"(JOHN 1): er.(JOHN 1): i don’t know." Ooooh! Cool, not just are they parenthesed, the Johns are now also numbered! Yeah, we wouldn't want them to just all be named John, that'd be insane and probably what Jade went through with PCG & FCG from her end (aka two ?CG's).

"JOHN 3: john, don’t worry about it. i’ll take things from here.DAVE: johns dont get me wrong its cool that you all randomly dropped by again but this wasnt really the best time" Hah, yeah John, try and get that semblance of knowing what you're doing back, like you acted out on LOPAN against your past selves. I'm actually interested to see whether he will be as dismissive towards his other selves as back then. Right, this is the second time Dave saw John, after the time he dropped in when Dave was looking at his old photographs.

"DAVE: we were kind of in the middle of a thing here(JOHN 1): whoops. sorry.(JOHN 2): uh... actually, i only came here to swoop in and zap this john away without being seen, to retcon away the mess i made earlier.(JOHN 2): i didn’t expect to see another john here.

JOHN 3: hey, other john, i said i’ll handle it!

JOHN 3: i’m the only one who actually knows what’s going on here.DAVE: god damn it johns what the fuck did you do" John 1 fucked it up, John 2 would've fixed things but then John 3 came back and fucked up some more. It's like the goddamned Primer movie all over again.

"JOHN 3: young dave, please.

JOHN 3: let me deal with the johns first, then i’ll explain.DAVE: young dave???" Why did that make me think of WV's polite commands. "Sir John" and all that. :P I think the other Johns will be able to get resolved easily enough, one zapping the other away to bop him in the head, both confused over the mess they left behind.

"DAVE: ohDAVE: yeah why are you a fucking adult now" OOOOOOh, nice! Okay, even though it'll be all shades of awkward, I really like the age difference isn't getting skimmed over.

"DAVE: did you grow up and start time traveling dude" Take that, reverse it.

"JADE: will someone tell me what the fuck is happening???????" Oh right, Grimbark Jade's text colour thingy!

"JOHN 3: johns, there’s no reason for you to hang around anymore.

JOHN 3: not to sound like a wet blanket, but the things you’re trying to accomplish are now useless, so you can just zap away and do whatever you want.(JOHN 1): ummm...(JOHN 2): useless?? wait." Harsh much, John. Also, just cause they won't/aren't you, they can just go become you, or whatever how you want to put it.

"JOHN 3: ok, maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

JOHN 3: i’m sure you can still go and do what i did when i originally did what you’re currently trying to do...DAVE: jesus john" Dave's inner time logistician is crying. John's retcon powers are so OP, he doesn't have to take any care in keeping time loops going if he doesn't want to. But that'd just result in copies of him flying around, so he'd best to just send them on their way, hopefully never to run into them again.

"

JOHN 3: in fact, it will still probably be a very rewarding experience!

JOHN 3: some of my best memories happened right after you do what you’re about to do next." I was thinking of the meet-up with his friends in general, but yeah, it's probably mostly about meeting Roxy, which is the closest thing to happen to (John 1)'s point in time.

"JOHN 3: the point is, you should just go do it, so that you aren’t here anymore." Savage.

"JOHN 3: i’m here to make sure some new and different important things happen, and those things don’t include you.

JADE: :|(JOHN 1): oh...(JOHN 2): ...ok.

The useless Johns zap away. You sincerely hope that they have a beautiful and fulfilling youth." ... That's not what your mouth ended up conveying there, John. Nor your thoughts, I mean, "useless", dear god man, have some alt self respect. :P

"DAVE: adult john what the fuck have you doneDAVE: is this some time travel shitDAVE: please dont tell me youve been spending the next however many years bungling through time like this because tbh if what i just witnessed was even remotely indicative of shit you get up to on a recurring basis then your future is almost too embarrassing to even think aboutDAVE: and this is coming from a teenager who was just in the middle of an angsty episode" Self aware Dave tirades are still the best. :D

"JOHN: i used my retcon abilities to travel here from the future, in a manner of speaking.DAVE: sounds fuckin stupidJOHN: it is stupid. but that’s just how things are." Glad they can agree to agree on that very valid assessment. :P

"JADE: im a little confused

JADE: im supposed to be hunting you down and capturing you... but im not sure if the adult version of you counts?

JADE: i think the condesce might just be... confused if i brought her an adult john?" Oooh, is this conflicting with her "programming" some how? Doggy Jade is confused, that's actually intruiging that she's given pause.

"JOHN: no, you don’t need to capture me, and you wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted to, since my existence literally transcends the confines of canon.

JADE: well...

JADE: i guess that simplifies things then?" John bullshitting his way to victory over people smarter than him, it remains a sight to behold.

"

JADE: in that case, would you mind giving me and dave a few minutes to wrap up our conversation?" XD Lol, wut????? Hahahah, Paradox Space really can only handle so much derailment to a timeline. At some point it just throws up it's arms and goes "leave me be, for five minutes, I was busy here!"

"JADE: we were sort of in the middle of something important... i thinkJOHN: no, you really weren’t.JOHN: sorry to be the bearer of lame news, like i just was to the other johns.JOHN: but whatever you were doing doesn’t matter anymore.JOHN: nothing that’s happening here matters at all.JOHN: this session, this whole takeover by the condesce... this isn’t how a universe gets made.

JADE: its not?JOHN: no." Sorry to break it to ya, but you're in a doomed timeline.

"DAVE: so what nowDAVE: if its all a done deal like preemptively speakingDAVE: can we all just relax or whatJOHN: actually...JOHN: no." Okay... So, what, can he just recruit these guys off and zap off with them to the next plot point? Won't something have to be done about the grimbarkness first? Also, if the next plot point is in the same timeline... Game Over really gets derailed. No Jade, no swapping Derse for LOFAF.

"DAVE: fuckJOHN: ah! i just realized why she sent me to this point in time to start recruiting you all.DAVE: whatDAVE: who" Rose, but not your Rose, although perhaps with the memories of that Rose, so kinda your Rose. :P Okay, so it's not that Rose's letter gave more detailed instructions than to zap there & recruit. So John'll have to figure out what to bring besides the people, in some cases at least. Like, here that would be Caledfwlch.

"JOHN: this is the moment just after you made your legendary cue ball sword.JOHN: you’re going to need it.DAVE: for whatJOHN: to come fight lord english with me.

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being." :/ Yeah, Dave really was happier cheating his way out of the prophecy. But then, he could only become so happy if someone else took care of the REAL Lord English for him. Guess another Dave'll have to bite the dust for "alpha" Dave again. Then again, epiphany or not, GO Dave might have ended up happy... but then he'd have been a happy ghost, for just as long until LE or the black hole got to him.

Still, man, I'm feeling for the guy. It's one thing to reject the call when it's an abstract prophecy or artefact thrust on you. But now it's his best friend asking him to join him in a crazy last stand. That's... actually one of the toughest challenges any Dave has had.

"DAVE: oh shit" ... Best underwhelming response he could have. :D

"JADE: what??

JADE: john. he is NOT going to fight lord english just yet

JADE: he is staying right here

JADE: old ladys orders :PJOHN: actually, yes he is." I'm sensing a showdown coming, but I wonder how swift John will take care of her, can his mangrist trump First Guardian swiftness? Oh, yeah, and he could turn into the Breeze too, I recall. Yeah, Jade's gonna bite the dust.

"JOHN: and so are you. we all are." Oooooh, okay, he wants everyone from the GO timeline to take a swing. Cool that he's getting his gang back together. Still, the age difference! :P Everyone but Roxy might be a little wary of it. (I'm saying that because at one point Roxy crushed on Jane's Dad.

"JADE: omg

JADE: how dare you?????JOHN: jade, you’re brainwashed.JOHN: sorry. but nothing you’re saying now means anything." Like, I understand where he's coming from, but dang John, still so brutal.

"JOHN: it’s fine though, you’ll stop being brainwashed once i zap you outside the influence of the condesce." Oooh, round trips to blankspace it is? I don't think it'll be to LOWAS, just to "a" point in blankspace they can be "stored" until the gang is assembled.

"JADE: youre not zapping me anywhere!!!!!JOHN: ha ha, yes i am.JOHN: watch this...

> Zap Grimbark Jade outta there." Has he learned to do a snap to zap her away while staying behind himself? Like how Jade zapped everyone to LOMAX.

It would be anticlimactic for John's retcon powers to suddenly cease working here. It would also be very Hussie for that to happen spontaneously. :P But then again, not likely as he'll use the same power to go to LOCAM (Caliborn's planet).

"You set a hand on Jade’s shoulder and zap her off to a better place. Then you touch down on the concrete surface where the whole pointless confrontation was taking place so that you can talk Dave around whatever it is he’s going through right now. Dave, like his ecto-sister, really needs to get in an absurd amount of extraneous words before he can fully process a situation.

The Mayor tips his head at you and fiddles with his sash. God damn, you missed the Mayor." Ah, okay, that particular conversation we might not see in its entirety? Or maybe we will. In any case, right, WV was there! Aww, yes we missed him. But hey, seems like John at least took a little time before they travelled into the future, to get to know WV? I wonder if he ever found out he was his exile, probably not.

"DAVE: so what do we do nextJOHN: well, i’ll leave you to hang out with jade for a bit, while i go round up the others." Hey, it occurred to me, Dave & Jade could have a chat while they wait, work some things out. A similar conversation as that GO Dave & Jade presumably had right after their deaths, when they woke up next to each other in the dreambubbles!

"DAVE: what others... likeDAVE: everyoneJOHN: yes. rose, and the other four." Yeah, this is speeding things up rapidly as far as the meetup between the kids is concerned. Dave & Dirk might benefit from some alone time out in blankspace together, mirroring their LOTAK conversation. Also, this means John will be zapping into the outer reaches of the session to retrieve Dirk, hahah. ... I wonder if the glitches from the stardust will be causing any disturbance, probably not anymore since the stardust was blown out of the cartridge, admittedly at a "later" point in the timeline.

Blaperile has a good point, what about Roxy? I'm going to assume that, by the time gets around to breaking her out of jail, John 1 or an equivalent John has already visited her. But I don't remember if they talked about the ring already back then. I do still think John will be giving her the ring to go revive Calliope, but the exact feelings around the moment will remain to be seen.

"DAVE: i seeDAVE: so...DAVE: sorry if i seem a little slow here im just trying to figure this outDAVE: youre telling me that i made this sword because im destined to defeat lord english and weve all been training for that day our whole lives to some extent more or lessDAVE: and we are actually successful here like we overthrow the condesce and make a universe and everythingDAVE: and thenDAVE: we..." ... Yeah, this timeline won't spawn a universe, it's already been done, it exists, no point in repeating the whole process. This session is now void again. Dave tries to build a timeline in his head that makes sense, but the sad thing is, his future is uncertain. Though, he might not be sad at all? I mean, not if the future is his to be written, right?

"DAVE: sit on our asses for several years in the new universe and become adults and lead mostly boring lives instead of going off to fight him?" ... Or, does Dave really DO understand what has happened, that he's picking up left over plot behind some other version of him.

"JOHN: yes.DAVE: guess that makes senseDAVE: now that i think about it thats probably what i would want to do by the time we finally wrap up this whole hot messJOHN: yep, it is what you wanted to do.JOHN: and pretty much everyone else agreed, including me. so that’s what we did." Not sure how conscious the decision was for them at the time, but sure.

"DAVE: which uhDAVE: i guess begs the questionDAVE: if it seemed pointless at the time and nobody could be assed to go fight him when we all had our shit togetherDAVE: why does it suddenly become important to go back and beat him years later after we become a bunch of lazy adults with boring lives" You'd have to ask Rose but she wouldn't remember in this timeline so the point is kind of mute. :P

"JOHN: i pretty much had the same questions, dave.JOHN: there are probably some pretty good answers to that. definitely some complicated answers.JOHN: but to be honest... i kind of forget what they actually were?DAVE: god damn it john" Pfffffff. John "it seemed important at the time so here i am" Egbert, everyone.

"JOHN: it has something to do with canon unraveling, and such.JOHN: we all live outside canon in the future, and if we don’t do go do this, everything will stop meaning anything.DAVE: does...DAVE: anything you just said actually mean anything in the first place" There's a song that comes to mind from Volume 9, "Everything means Something to Somebody". To Dave, it must be sound like the same level of fortune cookie wisdom.

"JOHN: that’s a great question, dave.JOHN: one that i can’t say i’m qualified to answer!JOHN: i think the bottom line here is, this is what rose said we had to do.JOHN: so, that’s why we’re doing it.DAVE: sounds like a bullshit reason if i ever heard oneJOHN: you might be right.JOHN: but is it less of a bullshit reason than any other reason we currently have to go fight him?DAVE: ...DAVE: damnDAVE: youre rightDAVE: i dont know how you did it but you somehow instantly sold me completelyDAVE: fuck you adult egbert" At some point, the scales will buckle just from the shear heap of bullshit piled on.

"You zap Dave off to where he needs to go. The Mayor is still staring at you, blinking his buggy little eyes. You shoot him a warm smile and a thumbs-up before bouncing off into the ether of infinity." Awww, actually, leaving WV behind can't be all bad for him. He can find Serenity in here, PM too. Condesce might very well leave for the Furthest Ring, and then this session is up for sale to anyone. And with the royalty down for the count, WV can take over. Well, okay, WQ... probably blew up when Union Jack broke Prospit. Yeah, WV, PM & the still alive Derse agents are the top bill around, and if PM can trump Jack again (the three of him, Spades Slick & Union Jack included), then the remaining Derse agents would follow.

That marks the end of Meat, page 4 for us!

[tumblunni]

Misc headcanons for Directator's assistant director yokai sidekicks!

* I think the Nosirs are actually brothers but for these guys i think theyre just a bunch of unrelated employees who share a uniform. Maybe draw them with variations in height and weight and stuff to tell them apart? And they probably have different hair under the hats.

* this yokai species is a water element fishman thing possibly based on The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Cos ive been doing a lot of thinking on why the heck they have those weird face markings and with the bulgy eyes they kinda do match the description of the early stage Deep Ones in that story. Either that or theyre kappas who hide their weak spot under caps. (Cappas?)

* their only power as yokai is super strength. They probably surprise people a lot by being so powerful, cos they never really bother to fight unless their boss is in trouble. Its mostly just an 'ultimate assistant' power that helps them carry lots of stuff for maximum efficiency.

* theres probably variants of this yokai for every type of minor job ever. I feel like its just the thing you turn into when youre a very normal dude who just wants to continue your normal job in the underworld. This trio are 100% content working for Directator and their idea of a peaceful afterlife is just the same as their regular life! No aspirations for bigger superpowers or anything, just gimme that magic ability to be even better at the job i love~

* not sure about names for the trio yet except one of them should be jerome cos thats a nice name. Their origin story is just that theyre unrelated employees who worked under Directator when he was human, and sorta bonded together into The Directator Protection Club. They were his most loyal assistants who stayed with him even as the studio made flop after flop, and even followed him into hell in the end. (Died trying to save him from a studio fire) They were all kind of aimless young adults for one reason or another, who didnt have much good in their life aside from this job and didnt have any positive familial figures except this strange little family they found together. So theyre not blood related but they treat each other like siblings and see Directator as a cool uncle figure that they all look up to. And theyre all roommates together now in the yokai world so basically yeah they got adopted in all senses except the Actually Saying It Out Loud sense

* Aside from their general shared personality of Being Cute And Enthusiastic And Supporting Their Boss i feel like maybe there are some small differences you notice after a while? From the titanic episode it seemed like one of them was kinda dopey innocently hero worshipping the boss and one of them was a sassy trickster who loved a chance to mess with the heroes, just based on the different way they animated them obeying the order to toss the heroes off the bungee jump. And one of them was shown dressing as a lady waitress in one of the scenes in the first episode, so im gonna grab that opportunity and say she's a trans girl. They all dress very similar while on the job just cos its practical clothing for work, but you can tell her apart by a small ponytail at the back of their identical hairstyles. (Probably the cute flame ponytail style like ghoulfather!) Off duty she likes to dress a bit more femme, but her bros still support her as a woman no matter how she dresses. The only way to get these perpetually smiling doofuses to start a fight is to mix them up and misgender her! (Well, that or be mean to the boss also. Theyre just very ride or die for each other!)

* There actually are more of these yokai aside from the main three, Directator has picked up a few more employees over the years since he died. He can probably summon infinate hordes of them like ghoulfather can do with his mafia goons! Its just that these three have the main emotional bond with him so he trusts them to do all the most important jobs.

* they have an ultimate transformation that is just them on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat. Their acting skill is so good that everyone universally believes this is a new form and they even gain boosted stats!

* in battle maybe their ability would be some sort of adaptability thing to reflect how theyre such multitalented helpers? Like 'all attacks are treated as non elemental' or 'changes elements to match the last hit taken'?

* also probably in battle theyd have combo abilities with directator, like he's able to revive them automatically whenever he gets a critical hit or something. I feel like them having low hp and frequently knocking themselves out in the process of protecting him is very in character

* directator remembers all their birthdays and throws a super theatrical big ol party~! They also celebrate the day each of them got hired and the day they made their first successful film in the yokai world, and then every time they have a new success too. Basically they love excuses to show how much they care for each other! Best buddies cinema club 4ever!!!

* Even though Directator can now poof up illusions of any set and costumes using his powers, he still prefers to let the assistants make all the most important critical stuff for each movie. He just feels sad that his newfound powers would be taking away a fun bonding experience that they used to have. But also obviously working your ass off to make everything on a short deadline ruins the fun of making arts and crafts together, so he's grateful he can take some of the work off their shoulders.

* the shape of directator's powers as a yokai came from not from his egotism but from his dying wish being to ease the burden on his employees who were always so loyal to him. He also likes to use his illusions to help them out with stuff even when theyre not working, though he still has to say lights camera action and etc so its a lil funny. Like 'oh no assistant number 3 is going out on a date and her dress is ruined!' then he runs in with one of those clapboard things and is like CUT! TAKE TWO! *poofs up an illusion dress with a star wipe transition* Keeps pausing the scene and telling her boyfriend to show more emotion, lol. Like overprotective dad cliche but its more 'are you hammy enough to be worthy of my niece?? Show me your best death scene!' Also has an entire orchestra follow them around and do a soundtrack to their date. 'Darling it'll be a sensation! Directator's secret masterpiece: the film only you get to see! Cmon boys this is our most important production yet!' Very well intentioned but predictably he ends up ruining the date by trying so hard to make it perfect for her, and she's like 'aww dont worry boss, if that guy cant handle my family then he's not the right dude for me anyway' *hugs and end of episode* *but also yknow..he still learns his lesson and interferes less in his friends's lives next time*

* maybe two of the trio have the same names? Like "here's my supreme team: Ashley A, Ashley B and Jerome!"

* give them a special attack where they just three hit combo Directator with a big ol wholesome hug of admiration and all his stats go up. 'Boss you really brightened up our lives!' 'And our afterlife!'

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[woildismyerster]

HOW CUTE WAS THAT PIZZA FIC??? Can we have the same kind of set up but with Aaron Samuels?

One of the strange things about staying home for college instead of leaving was seeing everybody else come and go during breaks.  For months, you could go to the store without seeing anybody you graduated with, and then you would suddenly see three or four people you’d never wanted to see again.  You’d have to ask those obligatory questions, you’d forget the answers immediately, and you’d have to do it over and over again.

It was the worst.

Summer began, your old classmates came home, and Chicago felt far too crowded.  The best solution to the overcrowding was, for now, staying home.  Thank God for takeout.  

You had grown used to getting the same two or three pizza delivery guys, all of whom were in high school.  They were about as disinterested in you as you were in them, so the exchange was quick and painless.  Today, you opened the door, and it was not a kid on the other side.

“Aaron Samuels,” you said, voice going up an octave in your surprise.  You cringed.  “Hey!”

He smiled, and your throat felt a little tighter.  You hadn’t been ready to see anybody today, least of all somebody who actually mattered.  “Y/N!  It’s been a while.”

“For sure,” you said.  You had seen him around a few times since graduation - at the store, movies, graduation parties.  Normal places.  Never on your doorstep, in a work uniform.  “So, you’re a pizza guy now?”

“College was too much,” he sighed.  “I thought this was a better career plan.”

“Totally,” you said, working to keep a straight face.  “Work through the ranks.  Save your tips.  Buy the city.”

“Pizza is the future,” he said, and handed you a receipt to sign.  “No - this is my summer job.  I wanted to make a dent in the decades of college debt ahead of me.”

Aaron was at some out of state school, though you couldn’t remember which one.  It hadn’t really mattered back then, when he was a popular guy with a popular girlfriend.

The problem with guys like Aaron was that he deserved his popularity.  He was worth knowing, worth liking, and thinking too much about him made you want to think about him more.  It had been easier to avoid thinking about him at all.  Now he was on your doorstep, and he had a pizza, and there was nothing else to think about.  You suspected that thinking about him now would be just as dangerous.

“Try to marry somebody rich,” you advised.  “No need for pizza deliveries when you have somebody to pay for your every whim.”

“I haven’t met anybody that rich,” he said.  “But I’ll keep an eye out.”

The pizza he gave you was still warm, and the smell hit you like a ton of bricks.  

“Have a nice day,” you said.  When he left, you wondered if you had said that many words to him in all of the years you were in school together.  You wondered whose fault that was.

Aaron was a good pizza guy.

You started ordering a lot of pizzas.

It had nothing to do with Aaron being a good pizza guy.

Probably.

“I’m going to ask a question that I should probably already know the answer to,” you told Aaron.

“Shoot.”

You schooled your face into the most casual, businesslike face you could manage.  You immediately started wondering if that was the wrong face - you wouldn’t be asking if you didn’t care about the answer.  “Are you still dating Cady Heron?”

“No,” he said, and his face was as blank as yours.  “No, we broke up a little after she started college.”

“Are you guys on good terms?”

He shrugged.  “We aren’t really on any terms.”

You had liked Cady.  She seemed nice, most of the time.  She seemed like the type of girl that Aaron would be good with.

“Is that a good thing?”  He didn’t seem totally broken; he was always genuinely cheerful when you saw him.  The way he looked now - carefully empty, like he was making sure not to react - did not seem as casual.

“She felt like we were heading in different directions.  I disagreed.  It didn’t matter; relationships have to be mutual, but breakups don’t.”  Aaron picked at the corner of your receipt compulsively.  “It’s been a while.  I’m fine.  I’m sure that she’s fine.”

“That’s good,” you said cautiously.  “Fine is good.”

“It’ll do,” he said.

“And you haven’t seen anybody since then?”  You were pushing things now, surely.  No casual face would mask the fact that you were asking if he was single.

“Nope.”  Aaron blinked at the receipt and smiled apologetically.  It was mangled in one corner.  “No, I’m not seeing anybody.  Are you?”

“No,” you said, and the nod he gave you was a little less than casual.

“If you find somebody rich to marry, you should pay for my pizzas.”

He snorted.  “Why?”

“Because,” you said grandly, “I’m tipping you really well.”

He hummed.  “So I should pay you back for paying me to do my job?”

“I’ll be your best friend,” you offered.  You felt like a six year old.  From what you remembered of six year old Aaron, he got in trouble for drawing turtles, no matter what he was supposed to be drawing.

That did not make six year old you want to be friends with him.  That definitely made current you want to be friends with him.

“That seems like an unequal friendship,” he said.  “If you want to talk to me, I have to bring you a pizza.  If I want to talk to you, I have to wait for you to order a pizza.  I’m not sure that it’s worth it.”

“Fine,” you said.  “I’ll add you on Snapchat.  You’ll still have to bring me pizzas.”

“I don’t have Snapchat,” he said.  As it turned out, Aaron didn’t really do social media.  You could see why - Northshore hadn’t had a great media environment.

“I guess I’ll have to buy my own pizzas,” you sighed.  

“I do have a phone,” he said.  Your eyebrows went up - the words had come out in a rush of air, like he had been as surprised to be saying them as you were to hear them.

“That’s good,” you said, not sure how he wanted you to respond.  “It’s hard to get a job when you don’t.”

“No - I mean, I don’t have social media, but I do have a phone.  If you wanted to be able to contact me.”  Aaron didn’t meet your eyes while he spoke, but the was a whisper of a smile that gave you a warm, jittery feeling while you wrote your number on a scrap of paper.

“So, now you can buy my pizzas.”

“No.”

“How long is your shift today?”

“Eight hours,” Aaron sighed, and the look he gave your pizza box was hysterical in its longing.

“I’ll bet you’re wishing for that sugar-momma now, huh?”  You opened the box and gave a dramatic inhale.  “Oh, that smells amazing.”

“Don’t be cruel,” he warned.  “I deliver your pizzas.  Someday I’ll spit on it, and you’ll have no idea.”

“Now that you’ve told me, I will.”

“You won’t know when.  It could be next time.  It could be a year from now.  You’ll be terrified until I do.”

You shrugged.  “Fine.  I’ll use the request section to ask for literally any other pizza guy.”

You both knew it was a bluff, but he didn’t call you on it.

“I’ll recruit them,” he said.

“What, you’ll woo them into submission?”  Realistically, he could.  Aaron Samuels got more attractive by the day - or maybe you were just more attracted to him every day.  It was a thin line to walk, but you fancied yourself a decent acrobat.

“If that’s what it takes,” he said, and his smile had enough of a edge to it to make your chest flutter.  “Don’t play a player.”

You gave a snort of laughter.  “Aaron Samuels, a player.  Sure.”

“You’ll never see me coming,” he said.

The next time you ordered a pizza, you requested that he deliver it.

Y/N:  Aaron

Y/N:  are you working?

Y/N:  i heard a funny joke, and i’ll tell you if you deliver my pizza

Y/N:  if youre working, dont reply for 3 minutes

Y/N:  im ordering a pizza

Aaron:  I wasn’t working.  I was sleeping.

Y/N:  yeah.  i know that now

Aaron:  What was the joke?

Y/N:  you lost your joke privileges

Aaron grinned, lopsided and wonderful.  “I can see the perks of the guy that controls dairy, from season one.”

“You’d be the perfect pizza guy,” you said, and he laughed.

“What about you?  What Misfits power do you want?”

“I’d be okay with the time travel,” you said.  That had always seemed like a no brainer to you - time travel was a prime power.  

Aaron took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair.  It was a hot day, and his hair was sticking up in wet clumps.  “You seem to have things pretty together.  Is there really something that you regret enough to go back in time for?”

You twirled the receipt pen around your fingers.  “I should have listened to My Chemical Romance before they broke up.”

“That would have made all the difference.”

“Mikey Way would have fallen in love with me, I’ll bet,” you said.

“And all of your college debt would be taken care of,” Aaron said, and the way he smiled made you drop the pen.

“What about you?  Any big regrets?”  You picked up the pen and handed it back, making your voice light and airy so you could ask a hard, heavy question.  “I’ll bet it’s Cady, right?  Maybe you’d go back and fix things with Cady - live happily ever after with your beautiful wife and decades of debt?

He shook his head, thoughtful.  “No, I don’t think I would change that.”

“No?”

“I regret the way things ended, maybe,” he said.  He handed off the pizza box, and you were so focused on his words that you almost didn’t take it.  “I don’t regret the fact that things ended.”

You picked at the hem of your shirt, not wanting to look too happy or too interested.  It would be so easy, when he was looking at you with that smile and those eyes, to believe that the only reason he was single was that he wasn’t with you.

“Maybe it would be different, though, if you went back,” you offered.  “You could go back and be with the Cady that loves you.”

“No.  The Cady who loves me isn’t the person I want to be with anymore,” Aaron said, and proceeded to say something about needing to go back to work.  More pizzas to deliver, and all that.  You didn’t have the chance to ask him what he meant.

It made you feel a little queasy to ask Aaron if he was excited to go back to school, and he looked a little uncomfortable while he answered.

“Yes and no.  I like school, but I really like not-school.”

You nodded.  “When do you go back?”

“In a couple of weeks.”  He held the pizza box steady so you could sign the receipt on it.  “I have less than two weeks before I stop working.”

“And I’ll have to break in a new pizza guy,” you sighed.  “What a shame.  You’ve been doing such a good job.”

“Tragic.”

Your feet shifted a little.  “And, you know, I’ll miss seeing you.”

Aaron’s face softened, and a few strands of hair fell in his eyes.  “I’ll miss seeing you, too.”

“If things were different -”  You paused, brow furrowing.

“What?”

“If you were staying, I think I would ask you out,” you said.  There was no point lying, not when he was about to leave.  If he didn’t like that, you would just start ordering more Chinese.  “We’d hang out all the time, and we’d be able to see each other every few days.  It would be really nice, and I think we could make it work.”

“Yeah,” he breathed.  “If I was staying.”

You took the pizza, stuck somewhere between happy that he hadn’t laughed and sad that he seemed as wistful as you were.  For the rest of your life, he was going to be your ‘almost.’

“Y/N?”

You paused, only able to see a sliver of him through the crack between the door and the frame.  “Yeah?”

He was almost smiling, but it wasn’t quite happy.  “If that was a roundabout way of telling me that you like me - likewise.”

You had not ordered a pizza, but Aaron was standing on your doorstep with one.

“I think that you’re doing your job wrong,” you said, raising one brow at him.  “You only give food to the people who paid for it.”

“I paid,” he said.  “Do you want it, or not?”

“I want it.”

Aaron gave a pointed look to the room behind you.  “Are you going to invite me in?”

You crossed your arms.  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I haven’t found a rich woman to marry me,” he said.  “So I thought, hey, maybe I should start looking for somebody who I might like for reasons other than money.”

You bit back a grin.  “How’s the search going?”

“That depends,” he said.  “Are you going to invite me in?”

You took the pizza, making sure to let your fingertips touch his hands as you did.  He smiled, running his hands through his hair.

“This is only because of the pizza,” you lied.  “Anything for a pizza - even if I have to deal with a boy that’s leaving.”

“What if I promise to buy lots of pizzas?  I guess I’d have to visit sometimes, but it’s a cross I’m willing to bear.”

“I guess I’ll have to let you in lots of times.”

In the end, you would let him in empty handed.

[iamsonyeondone]

not so tough // lee chan

♥ college!au

♥ slight angst and fluff!!!

♥ 2.1k words

♥ requested :  Hi bby! I thought you'd may like some other seventeen members to write for so could I request an angst with happy fluff ending chan? Thanks you and keep up the amazing works ily~

chan has a habit of keeping up a strong facade, especially as the oldest in his family

and sometimes his group of friends have an effect on him to break down those walls

but even those instances dont come so often and yet he’s still strong enough to hold it in

or at least for now

you’ve known him for at least three years and all of it started with a very cliche moment of knocking into each other, more than once and quite literally

you had just gotten your exams over and done with and had decided to treat yourself to something sweet at the campus’s cafe

after ordering a small slice of cake, you turned around to head back to your seat until hot liquid poured all over your blouse, scalding you a little in the process

“oh god i’m so sorry,” a tall figure apologizes to you profusely, bringing out napkins from the counter while his friend instinctively took his hoodie off of himself

“he’s a little clumsy but i hope this hoodie will do,” the shorter one apologizes on his behalf as he gives you the hoodie but you were quick to refuse

“its not like i have anywhere else to go, and it’s not as warm with the ac on,” you muster up a smile, even though your skin was burning under your shirt

“either way, it’ll make us look like the biggest idiots for not helping you out. take it, i have more than just one hoodie,” he grin, his strong resolve to give you his hoodie was undefeatable

“if you say so. what’s your name? or maybe your number? so i can at least give it back,” and maybe your high five-ing yourself for taking this cute boy’s number with the best opportunity, fetching out your phone 

“here, let me put in my number,” he quickly types it in and gives it back

“lee chan? i guess we’ll see each other soon,” you chuckle, thanking him once more for the sweet gesture as you went to the washroom to change

“so our little baby finally asked out a girl?” mingyu teased chan, nudging him in the ribs

“for once i thank god for making you this tall clumsy giant,” he shook his head but the smile on his face never wavers

but the second time you guys meet wasnt as soon as you had thought it would be

once your grades had been keyed in, you couldnt help but forget about the cute boy’s number, a little disappointed at the fact that it wasnt up to your expectations

with a sigh, you decided it would be best to just walk it off, and get some fresh air from being so cooped up in your dorm and lecture rooms

the park near your dorm was peaceful and calming, the harmonization of the cicadas as well as the chilly breeze made it worthwhile

you were too busy admiring the night sky with your earphones plugged in to notice a figure bulldozing your way

the both of you collide, falling to the rough pavement as you rubbed your butt

just as you were about to apologize, a familiar face sits on the opposite side of you

but you dont see a smile on that face, or that reassuring aura he exuded that day

instead you him curled up in a different hoodie, tears streaming down his face, making his eyes turn blood-shot red and the tip of his nose reddening 

“lee chan?” you dont even realize your voice coming out as a whisper, his vulnerable state having such a big effect on you

you dont even get up from the floor and instead, sat with your legs crossed, holding his hand cautiously

“what’s wrong?” you whisper once more, this time drawing circles with your thumb on the top of his palm

but that only urged him to bawl his eyes out even more

he must have kept it in for a long time, you thought

without another word, you sat beside him and wrapped an arm over his shaking shoulders

after a few minutes, chan’s sobs turn into sniffles and you chuckle as you take another look at him

“i didnt want our second meeting to be this way, but i guess you look pretty cute with rudolph’s nose,” you tease a little as a small smile threaten to adorn his face

“me neither, i might even have planned it out,” he chuckled, still sniffling every once in a while

“plan? for what?” you scoff and even when your arm still remain on his shoulders, it didnt feel right to remove it from him - it’s still pretty cold y’know

“to take you out on a date? what else would i do? ask you to take a survey?” he raised a brow, and the apples of your cheeks turn bright pink and your glad the night was dark enough to hide them

“then i should have remembered to text you if it was going to be that way. but we’re here now, besides, what’s up?” you question, a topic you were a little hesitant on asking but something told you it was for the best

“its nothing-”

“if it was nothing we wouldn’t be here right now with your snot all over the place,” it was your turn to tease him now, making chan scoff in disbelief

“i guess i’m a little stressed out. personal matters and work. it’s all piling up and i guess i bottled it for too long,” he sighed, bringing his knees to his chest

“you dont have anyone to talk about this?” 

“i,,, do actually. but i’m sure they’ve got their own problems to fuss over. they’re always taking care of me too so i couldn’t make them hold the burden of my own problems,” he chuckled in embarrassment

“of course everyone has their own problems, silly. but we all still confide in someone right? then if you don’t confide in them, why not talk to me? i dont have all the time in the world but its 2018 we’ve got phones,” you giggled, quickly typing into your phone

as chan’s phone dinged with a new notification, you pat his back once more

“look, now you have my phone number too so you can always tell me whenever you have a problem. and maybe also remind me about your hoodie,” you smiled while chan chuckled at your first text message

‘for the cute boy with the red nose’

and the both of you had been close ever since

there were times that you would take the time out of your day to walk at the same park, to spill all the details about your day or to simply hang out

sometimes you would leave silly voice messages to cheer him up or simply things that reminded you of him

like the otter miniature you saw at a toy store or the time when you took a picture of a deer and drew a red nose on it

and chan would keep reminding you to give him back the hoodie

and you lowkey really want to keep it forever because its super comfy

“you told me to remind you to give it back but its been a whole year and its still at your dorm,”

“you cant blame me for liking a perfectly comfortable hoodie that smells a little like you,”

and chan actually also secretly likes it when you take a selfie with the hoodie on because you look extremely cute in it

like damn, he would give you all the hoodies in the world if you looked thaT cute with it on

and its just constant teasing and flirting between the two of you even though nothing really announces the both of you being officially together

and your scared to even mention it because you’re afraid you’re thinking things a bit too far

although holding his hand all the time and not only when his sad sounds like heaven and just,, snuggling with him?? whenever you want to too??

you’re afraid that you’re the only one thinking about it

but hOOO boi

chan has been thinking about placing kisses all over your cute face and seeing you in all his hoodies and just showering you with all the love that he has

because he has never really had someone to break him out of his shell, and for you to have that ability all the time honestly scares him too

because what if you dont want things to go further either? to take the next step

it’s been three years now ever since the both of you knocked into each other at the park

and ever since then, the both of you have been attached at the hip

you even got to know chan’s family as well as his group of friends which you still recognized one of them who towered them all

all of them loved you and secretly knew about the constant love eyes that appeared whenever chan mentioned you

jeonghan may or may not have threatened you about taking care of chan, but once he actually got to know you, he’s been fawning over you too ever since

which also meant that he might have told you things about chan whenever you werent around

like the way he kept showing your selfies to the others because he thought you looked like a cute kitten

or when he kept mentioning you whenever they went out together

and maybe also about the time chan had finally decided to tell the others about his problems too instead of relying on only you

because he knows how hard life can get for you especially with the numerous secrets you have only told him

and that was a wake up call you never new you needed

with that information, you planned to tell him the next time you and chan met at the park, where the both of you could be alone

and when chan finally suggested to take a walk through facetime, you enthusiastically agreed and slipped on his hoodie, although his scent was no longer there

when chan sees you with the familiar apparel, he laughs into the quiet night, his laughter making butterflies flutter in your stomach

“you’re finally giving this back to me? why? is it because he doesnt smell like me anymore?”

and youre caught off guard, eyes widening as your mouth failed to form sentences

“you’re making it seem like i have super powers when you cant even whisper without me hearing,” he chuckled ruffling your head

as the both of you walked side by side, catching up with each other and telling about each other’s day

you bathed in the feeling of comfort and serenity and you just knew being right by his side was a safe haven you never asked for but needed

“chan?” you call out to him, digging your hands deeper into the pockets as he hummed in reply

“i... i really want to thank you for being my friend, for being here for me and doing dumb stuff with me all the time. I couldn’t ask for someone better,” you giggled, looking back up to him

chan’s heart race at the sight, the way your eyes twinkled looking AT him

he was the reason for you to look this happy, and it felt like he was walking on cloud nine, like he became the president of south korea

“of course i would do dumb shit with you, you’re entitled to being my friend after you saw me have that mental breakdown,” he joked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder

“but i dont want to be just a friend,” you spoke up, stopping in your tracks as chan did so too, his heart running a mile per minute

“t-then what do you want to be?” he questioned, looking right back at you now, his arm letting go of you only to hold your hand again

“i want- will you be my boyfriend-” without another word, chan hugs you tight and places a soft kiss onto your forehead

“you beat me to it,” he laughed, euphoria washing over him as he swayed the both of you from side to side

he wouldnt stop laughing, nuzzling his face into your neck while you hugged his waist tightly

“so...can i take this hoodie instead?” you asked him, a mischievous grin on your face

“as long as you’re with me, you can take any hoodie of mine,”

chan soon learnt the immense regret for saying that, but who cares when the love of your life gives you the best cuddles, am i right?