#Meals for Parents

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

“the point of kintsugi is to treat broken pieces and their repair as part of the history of an object”

David Mitchell // Hanif Abdurraqib // photo by @lakevida // @ashstfu // tiktok comment by @/muddafrigga // Miranda July // Pete Wentz // @jovialtorchlight // caption from Penny Reid [x]

[nerdpoe]

Harley has a relapse. Well, up until she realizes the teenager she kidnapped needs help.

She hadn't meant to, she really hadn't. But.

There'd been a store alarm, smoke had started filling the aisles, there were gunshots, she'd gotten scared taken by surprise, and someone was laughing nonstop.

Very abruptly, she was back under the Joker's thumb, and the only way to survive was to play along so hard she herself believed it.

Later, she'd learn it was a bunch of teenagers from out of town lighting the firecrackers that had been on display for the Chinese New Year.

But she'd kidnapped another teen, one that had nothing to do with it.

She was outpacing the Bats with said teen thrown over her shoulder, when she started to slow down.

His ribs kept digging into her shoulder, and he wasn't putting up a fight. He wasn't even panicking.

That was...not right. That was not something that had ever happened when she'd been with the Joker.

She came to a complete stop.

She put the kid down on his feet.

She noted the lack of baby fat, even though the kid definitely wasn't even sixteen. Bruises that disappeared into his shirt. Dead, almost bored eyes that stared back at her, blurred by clear sleep deprivation. Scars that did not look good on a civilian. The world-weary expectation the kid held himself with, like getting hit was going to happen and he just had to be prepared for it.

"Babe, you back?" Ivy asked, voice tentative.

Harley turned and pointed at the kid.

"I want this one."

Or; Danny was getting beat up by his bullies, got kidnapped by a lady with wild eyes, went with it because he didn't really want to be with the school group anymore, and now said lady is trying to adopt him because he's "too skinny". Later, when he's awake enough to understand that Harley Quinn and Batman are fighting over who gets to adopt him, he realizes this is a good opportunity to get Dani a family, considering he's taken. (If anyone can keep tabs on her and make sure she's safe it's Batman after all) (But if she doesn't like Batman he just knows she'll love Harley)

[wizardwomenwisdom]

steve and eddie pre-season 4 doing divorced parent swaps of dustin after hellfire meetings.

at first, when steve hears dustin’s becoming friends with eddie, he doesn’t really care. it’s not his business, honestly, and if his friendship with robin’s taught him anything it’s that cliques in high school mean so little.

it’s only when dustin’s mom pulls him aside one day, when he drops dustin off, that he begins to worry. because dustin’s the last on the list of hellfire members to get dropped off in eddie’s van, and there aren’t seats back there, and honestly eddie’s driving is bad on a good day.

so at first, steve offers to start driving dustin home from the high school. and the way dustin acts, well, steve feels like he just offered to take out an armed russian guard again. after a bit of arguing, he gets to the bottom of it: dustin likes hanging out with everyone on the ride. and since the way to his place passes the closest micky-d’s, eddie and garath always take him to get dinner.

so they make a deal: steve’ll meet them at mcdonald’s, pick dustin up, and take him home so his mom stops stressing. it’ll be a quick weekly hand off.

only every friday, when he pulls into the lot, eddie’s standing outside waiting with a few sarcastic quips. steve and he almost always argue about dustin while dustin finishes eating (“if it were a sports car you wouldn’t give a shit about seatbelts” “that’s why i don’t drive a fucking sports car to pick him up, dick.”) (“you’re late.” “i had a date.” “and he has a bed time.”) (“i get that your campaign is important, but he has a c in latin right now.” “i can’t make him do homework if he doesn’t want to.” “you most certainly can.”)

the first time robin comes with him, she spends the whole ride to the hendersons giggling. when dustin’s finally out of the car, steve turns in the driver’s seat and crosses his arms.

“out with it, buckley. what’s so funny?”

she blinks twice, and then starts laughing again. “what’s the custody agreement look like between the two of you?” she manages.

“what?”

“do you not realize it?”

“realize what?”

“you and eddie ‘the freak’ munson have spent the last three months doing a quintessential divorced parent drop.”

“wait, wait-“

“the arguing? the mcdonald’s parking lot? the weird pseudo-flirting?”

“i do not flirt with eddie.”

“does that make me dustin’s shitty step-mom?”

“robin!”

“oh my god.” she’s laughing so hard at this point that she can’t breathe.

steve shifts back into the driver’s seat. he doesn’t say anything until they’re back on the road, and robin calms down, and his face is sufficiently red. finally, he manages a “fuck you, buckley.” which starts robin into another laughing fit.

steve’s extra aware of how eddie calls him sweetheart next time they meet up.

edit: wrote a fic of this lowkey.

[humanityinahandbag]

Eddie's April Fools joke would be him bringing Steve a baby that he's watching while he volunteers at the foster center (because kids aren't as judgemental as adults and he can actually do some good without getting nasty looks or whispers about satanism and murder behind his back).

He'd show up at Steve's door and hold out a wide eyed, rosy cheeked, somewhat confused baby like, "Steven, I know it's been a few months since our night of passion, but she's yours. I'm taking you for all you're worth!"

And it's such an obvious joke. Such an obvious prank. He'd just been taking this kid out for a walk and getting some fresh air.

But jokes on Eddie, because Steve wouldn't even think before lighting up, reaching out, and snatching the baby to his chest like oh aren't you so sweet, do you want to come inside? Yes you do!

Eddie tries to explain that it's a joke, but Steve just grabs his hand and squeezes it tight and the words die on his tongue.

"Bah phhhfp," said the baby, giving Eddie a look like, dude, you've got it bad.

Steve didn't drop his hand. His fingers were warm and strong against Eddie's. "Where'd you find her?"

"... foster?" Says Eddie. "I'm uh. I'm watching her?"

"And you brought her here?" Steve's eyes crinkled at the corners. His smile was sunshine.

Eddie opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded. And then nearly fell backwards when Steve brought the hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"Glooof," said the baby, staring at Eddie. You're an idiot if you don't make a move right now.

Thankfully, he didn't have to. Not when Steve was giving him a tug over the threshold.

"C'mon. Let's get you both inside. I think she needs to be changed. You got a diaper bag hiding somewhere under all that leather?"

It was meant to be a joke. It doesn't land as one. Because somewhere in Steve's head, the paternal switch is cheering, lit up so brightly. Free baby? And the person he liked brought him the baby?

Well. Then there's only one real solution to the problem.

(For Eddie, that solution hits him just as quickly. Especially when the guy he's been in love with since the sixth grade is holding a baby to his chest, shirt speckled in spitup and drool, making coffee the next morning, smiling across the kitchen at Eddie so softly and sweetly. Well. He was done for long ago. Might as well fall all the way.)

Ten years later, Eddie and Steve are sitting on a park bench watching their daughter April try to sacrifice her stuffed bunny on top of the jungle gym.

"You do realize that she was supposed to be a joke, right?" He'd say to Steve, a little teary eyed and so unbelievably happy.

"Jokes on you," Steve would reply easily. "Because I kept you both."

Jokes on him indeed.

[foldingfittedsheets]

My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.

On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.

You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.

To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.

That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.

So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”

I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.

Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.

I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.

My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.

The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.

I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.

Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"

Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.

The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?

The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.

Fucking Cynthia.

[queruloustea]

alright alright i know i’ve been posting an awful lot today but ..... i did draw the baby wrapped up :)

[comixandco]

cleo sertori had a fear of swimming since she was a child and nobody considered for a second that getting stranded on a boat in the middle of the sea then falling into a cave system where she had to swim through subterranean water tunnels to the ocean where she had to tread water until a s&r team found them would be traumatic and exacerbate her fear into full aquaphobia

secretly becoming a mermaid helped her get over her fear but to everybody else her being cagey about the pool party and washing the dishes makes 100% sense when they stop for a moment and consider she’s probably terrified

[pealingpetals]

Local villain keeps corpse piece attached to his face and can't remember the last time he took a shower, more at 11

[jilyandbambi]

so a Yellowjackets AU where mari says something to get herself kicked out of the cabin, and she dies of exposure and gets eaten at the bachanalian banquet instead of Jackie, who LIVES, who's there at Shauna's side when she goes into labor, stroking her hair and letting Shauna squeeze her hand hard enough to sprain her fingers, who keeps Shauna calm enough she has a (comparatively!!!!!!) easier delivery, who is the reason the(ir) baby lives.

who finally, after months of feeling adrift and useless because she’s not a hunter or a butcher or a prophet or a captain (anymore) finds her purpose in the wilderness. who painstaking sews patchwork baby onesies and cloth diapers from the girls' spare clothes (Offerings, not donations). who makes a baby sling from animal pelts and backpack straps. who makes a rattle from sticks and pinecones and some light blue pebbles Jackie found by the lake one day and saved. who makes sure the cabin stays warm and clean for Luke Dylan (from 90210--they couldn't decide whether to go with the actor or the character).

who builds them another shelter from blankets and animal hides after the cabin burns down. who keeps shauna and their baby warm through that first terrible winter and the one that followed.

and one day in 1998, Canadian forest rangers happen upon that American high school soccer team that went missing 2 years back. they find a group of starving teens and a baby, a little over a year old, two of the girls wrapped around him--and each other

and when the rescue team tries to separate them the one with tangled, golden brown hair bears her teeth and Growls

[vala-dreams]

HELLO I AM ALIVE

So I know I haven't posted in like a year but @diedfromembarrassmentlikeasim and I were discussing this fic and then it spiralled into this discussion

Spread the himbo Bruce agenda folks

The most valid Bruce is the Bruce that goes from having a 100 life skills to 0 in one second. Look at him.

He knows how to hack into his FBI agent's computer. He doesn't know what red onions are. He can't kill people but he can kill houseplants like a professional. He knows how to create antidotes to any virus or poison. He doesn't know how to make tea without burning the mansion down.

Alfred has no hair and this is why.

[alexxuun]

You know how asian parents give you ten folds of the food items if you ever uttered the words “I like this thing”?

This is great until you’re a picky eater and you say “oh yeah, I can eat this thing now” and suddenly your parents are feeding it to you every chance they get to the point where you question if you can even eat this thing anymore.

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

[martyrbat]

perpetual mourning – batman black and white (1996) #1

[ID: a black and white panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as Batman investigating a murder. He performed an examination of the victim's body and found DNA evidence to convict her killer and then performed an autopsy to examine her stomach contents — which led him to a little 24/7 diner. He walks in, disrupting the cozy scene with his presence.

Bruce internally reflects, ‘People think i'm a knight. A savior. But in truth, I'm only a vessel to hold the memories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them. They must think I revel in my victories. It must seem like I never lose a fight. I lose plenty. The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.’

He shows the only waitress a photo of the victim's face and asks, “Excuse me. Do any of you know this woman?” The waitress gasps and holds her hand to her head in shocked distress. She stammers, “That's Chelsea, she comes in here all the time. Sits in the same booth, the same time, reads the same book... um, what was the title...? She, uh, left here only a couple of... Why do you... Oh, god. No. Dear girl...”

Back at the morgue, Bruce solemnly gazes down at the woman as she lays in an unzipped body bag. He thinks, ‘Luckily, you hadn't digested your last meal, Chelsea. There're only a few places in the neighborhood where you were found that serve blueberry pie at this hour of the morning.’ He carefully zips the body bag entirely. The identification label states she was a thirty year old caucasian female. The name ‘Jane Doe’ has been scribbled out to now be replaced with ‘Chelsea Rain’. Bruce continues to ruminate, ‘You only have your thoughts and dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now. Forever.’ END ID]

[crowofjudgment]

Started watching the ravening war.

I am violently reminded of how beautiful zac oyama is and am instantly propelled back to the time i watched his entire filmography in the college humor youtube channel WHICH THEN LED ME TO DIMENSION 20 AND NOW LOOK AT ME

[vanishingstarrs]

playing house

katsuki bakugo x reader, established relationship, fluff

( my bf and i basically played house yesterday and it felt very bakugo coded so enjoy :) <3 )

It was nearly midday when you woke up, unlocking your phone to multiple messages from your boyfriend. He sent you updates throughout his morning, seeing as he was a much early riser than you. It didn’t help that you were sick (him being the cause of it, you having caught the cold he had last week) and sore from the random urge to redecorate your entire room last night.

Turns out, hauling furniture and books and all the little trinkets you’d received as gifts from your boyfriend took a toll.

You headed down for breakfast (lunch technically) while responding to his messages before acknowledging his see you soon text with a question.

soo what do you wanna do today ?

You’d already been planning on seeing one another, you’d talked about maybe seeing a movie, though none of the ones out now seemed to really catch either your attention. Various messages came in one after the other as you heated up your food.

parents aren’t home today, they’re at some event until late

i was thinking we could watch Y/F/M and buy some snacks

plus you’re sick so i don’t wanna go far

then later i’ll make us dinner

and if you’d like we can go get ice cream

Your heart swelled. Katsuki didn’t always seem like he’d be the sweetest and your friends always questioned the nature of your relationship and how it worked out, but you knew deep down he was a softy. Especially when it came to you.

you offering to take care of me the whole day ? 🥹🫂

He responded quickly.

the least i can do after getting you sick

You laughed.

so you admit you got me sick ?

yes

sadly

i didn’t want to

it’s okay, worth it in order to kiss my baby 🫶🏼

good

lmk when i can pick you up

After your meal, you sat at your vanity, trying to decide how to style your hair, already having opted out of wearing makeup when Katsuki texted you again.

don’t do your hair, i wanna see your natural hair

well in that case you can come get me whenever, i was already planning on skipping makeup

nose is all red from tissues, it’d all come off anyway :(

. . .

You watched the little dots appear, go away, and then come back before a text came.

what if i told you i was already outside ?

You stood up, heading to your window to find your boyfriend standing right outside. You unlocked the latch and called out to him,“Five minutes, I just gotta change clothes!”

“What for? I already told ya my folks aren’t home.”

“I know, but still! Just hold on!”

You shut the window before he could counter you again and quickly found a semi-presentable outfit just in case his parents left their event early as they sometimes did. Katsuki always shook his head at the fact that you insisted on wearing a perfect outfit whenever you’d be at his house, you couldn’t help it though. You wanted to look nice in case his parents wound up being there.

You weren’t even that comfortable being home alone with him, especially when a certain look came over his face and you two wound up in not so innocent positions.

The only reason you were allowed over was because Katsuki had told his parents he’d gotten you sick and he wanted to cook for you.

You bid your parents goodbye and met up with Katsuki, hugging him first thing. You didn’t miss the way he inhaled your scent, most prominent in your hair by the way he buried his face in it before planting a quick kiss on your neck.

“I missed you too.” You grinned, knowing through his actions what he was trying to say.

He was a tad clingy and you loved it.

Since neither one of you had a car, you walked, though you didn’t mind and you knew he didn’t either as you chatted the entire way. Plus, he didn’t live too far.

There was a convenience store near your house, but Katsuki wanted to wait until you guys reached one closer to his as he wanted to pick up a few ingredients for the meal he was planning and he was certain they had them in stock there. Plus that way you didn’t have to carry anything on the way to his house.

So you walked and took turns talking, you told him about the way you’d decorated your room and the new layout of it and then he told you all about the fashion show his parents were attending and how they mentioned they’d like you two to attend with them on a day you weren’t sick since they had a lot of them coming up and they thought it might interest you.

“We’d have to dress up though, and that’d be annoying.” He frowned.

“Sounds like it might be fun though,” you shrugged,“Plus it’s your parents career, wouldn’t hurt to go in support of them.”

“Yeah, true…”

The topic shifted yet again as you neared the store and Katsuki grabbed a basket at the entrance,“Any snacks you want today, babe?”

You pointed out the premade coffee and he shook his head,“What do you need that shit for today? We’re just gonna be laying around all day.”

“It’s not that I need it, I just enjoy the taste, if I needed it at some point it honestly would’ve been last night, I stayed up way too late.” You sighed.

“Tsk, told you you didn’t have to get it all done in a day.”

“Yeah, but I did and I feel way better about it since now I don’t have to worry about it this week.” You countered, watching with a smile as he grabbed the one he knew you liked and tossed it into the basket.

He knew your favorite snacks too so he didn’t really have to ask what would make you feel better, he took his time nitpicking ingredients and you hugged him from behind all the while he decided whether he might change his meal last minute. It was all very domestic and you allowed yourself to imagine that this is what it’d be like if the two of you lived together. “Make your decision yet? I told you I’m okay with whatever, baby, I’ll eat anything you give me.”

“Don’t I know it.” He smirked and you punched his shoulder at the inappropriate comment.

“Stop.” Your cheeks heated up.

“You love it.” He teased further, even going as far as giving your ass a slap, despite the family strolling right by when he did it.

You rolled your eyes, waiting for them to pass before heading back to his side to hug his arm again,“Yeah, maybe.”

“No, completely, or you wouldn’t be with me.” He pecked your cheek and you leaned into the touch of his hand.

Once upon a time he was shy touching you, now he did it so freely and naturally. It felt like you’d been together forever, despite the fact that it’d only been roughly eleven months.

You went about a couple more aisles, finishing up and walking the remainder of the way home. He set up his things in the fridge and grabbed all the snacks and your drink,“You don’t want this in a different cup? I can change it for you, plus it’s already feeling kinda warm. I’ll add ice.”

“It has ice, love. Plus half the fun is the cup it already comes in.” You made grabby hands,“Sit, and let’s watch. You know you’ve been dying to know how this series ends.”

He settled himself beside you on the sofa and you quickly snuggled up to his side, though it was a tad uncomfortable wearing outside clothes when he was lounging comfortably in sweats. Katsuki took notice of how you constantly pulled your shirt down and he sighed,“I told you you should’ve just worn your pajamas. They’re not coming home, you’ll be back at yours way before that.”

“You’ve said that before, you know your dad will wanna bail before it ends.”

“You’re annoying.” He rolled his eyes, but you know he didn’t mean it as he said,“At least wear one of my shirts.”

In the end he somehow convinced you to wear one of his shirts and an old pair of sweatpants he had from when he was younger that fit you.

You frowned all the way down the stairs, but you couldn’t deny the fact that you were a lot more at home in his clothes than what you’d been in before.

You felt him walk up behind you and his teasing voice in your ear,“Now it looks like we fucked.”

“Katsuki!” You shoved him down the remaining steps, but all he did was laugh and open his arms up to you.

You rolled your eyes,“Keep it up and we won’t again for a month.”

“Don’t pretend to be a prude.” He scoffed as he tugged you back down to lay with him.

As soon as your head hit his shoulder, the reality of how sick you felt and tired you were finally settled into your bones and the warmth his body naturally produced made it so you fell asleep at only fifteen minutes into the movie.

By the time your eyes opened again the movie was at its final scene and you felt guilty as you asked him if he was actually paying attention to it and if he genuinely liked it.

He claimed he did after all three times of you asking him if he was sure he enjoyed it. He placed a kiss to your forehead before standing up and stretching,“Gonna get started on dinner, do you want something to snack on in the meantime?”

You thought about it,“Nope.” Better to wait and see what he’d make.

You stood up with him and followed him into the kitchen with the blanket he’d draped over you at some point still wrapped around you, sitting patiently at the island while he maneuvered his way around the familiar space.

The first time you found out Katsuki knew how to cook you’d been shocked, now it seemed fitting that he knew how to work the stove.

In fact, he knew more about knife techniques and the perfect cooking temperatures than you did. The few times you’d found yourself in the kitchen ended in more injuries than successful meals.

You spoke while he cooked and occasionally he’d come over to receive a kiss like it was a reward, when he finally finished he took both your plates and walked you back to the living room to watch something else while you ate. You couldn’t help the thought from crawling into your mind:

Is this what it’d be like if you lived together?

You’d never felt more like an old married couple than you did now, even with all the times you and Katsuki had disagreements and people described you as such. It didn’t really feel like that until now.

“I love you.” You broke the silence that had settled among you both after finishing eating.

He flushed, looking away and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I love you too.”