#Model diagnostic

[gameideas-111]

So, I made a War Game

I needed to clean my Palit from the other project I'm working on, so I made this. It's far from polished, but still. It's vaguely based on Elden ring and Pokimon types, so it may be strange. I'd make it a PDF for you to read, but I can't figure out how, so I'm putting it in the text below (It doesn't let me post it with tables either, so I'll likely have to post the elemental table secretly, sorry). Still, I hope you all have fun with it.

The Shattered Realms: The great war is a tactical

The Shattered Realms: The Great War is a tactical, narrative-driven tabletop wargame where players command armies from unique factions, each with its own strengths, weaknesses, and lore. The goal is to outsmart, outfight, and outlast your opponents through a combination of strategic unit activation, tactical positioning, and dynamic battlefield events. With elemental types that also affect how battles gose. The goal was simple, kill the enemy champion.

Elements

Every unit and faction has an element. If you don’t know what damage it is, add the numbers up and that’s the damage modifier for the type.

The Champion Elements

There is a special third type that all Champions have, those Types being Strength, Wisdom, and Courage. These three spacial types adorn all Champions.

Strength

Wisdom

Courage

Core Components:

Miniatures: Representing your army (infantry, cavalry, monsters, Championes, etc.).

Battlefield Map: Modular and varied terrain compatibility (forests, rivers, ruins, high ground, etc.).

Action Dice: Standard six-sided dice used to activate units and resolve actions (combat, movement, magic, etc.).

Faction abilities: Detailing special abilities, upgrades, and unit traits specific to each faction.

Unit Stats Sheets: To track wounds, abilities, and status effects of individual units.

Tokens/Markers: For tracking morale, unit conditions, status effects, etc.

Stat block layouts

Type: They types that a creature is

wounds: how many hits they can take before they must be taken off the field and are considered dead.

Damage: how many d6 they use on their attacks. It also labels whether they are ranged, or melee attackers.

Movement: how many inches they can move per round unless abilities are used

Notes: Some lore tidbits

Abilities: List of abilities they can use on their turn (If they have any). These include passive and ones that must be activated.

Gameplay Overview:

1. Army Composition:

Army Points System: Players build armies using a point system, where each unit has a point cost. Players create balanced forces based on these points.

Units: Include standard infantry, archers, cavalry, spellcasters, monsters, and Champion units. Each unit has unique stats (Attack, Wounds, Movement, Morale).

Custom Traits: Some units have customizable traits, such as elemental affinity, leadership bonuses, or magical powers.

Champion: You can only have 1 Champion in your army at a time. 

2. Battlefield Setup:

Modular Map: The battlefield is created using hex tiles or a grid system. Terrain features (forests, ruins, rivers) affect movement, combat, and tactical choices.

Deployment Zones: Players deploy their armies within designated zones at opposite ends of the battlefield.

3. Turn Structure (5 Phases):

Command Phase:

Players check the morale of units by rolling for each of them, and activate any special abilities from Championes or faction abilities that will affect this round.

Movement Phase:

Players move their units according to their movement stats and the terrain.

Units can charge or maneuver, taking advantage of tactical positions.

Action Phase:

Combat: Units engage in combat, rolling dice based on their stats to attack and defend.

Ranged Combat: Archers, spellcasters, and siege units can attack from a distance up to a certain amount of inches, however they can not deal the final wound at distances further than 5 inches.

Melee Combat: Units in close proximity fight in hand-to-hand combat.

Magic & Abilities: Units with magical or special abilities can cast spells, summon creatures, or enhance nearby units.

Morale Phase:

Players check morale for units that suffered heavy casualties or are facing certain conditions (e.g., charges, failed actions).

Units may become disordered, retreat, or flee if morale drops too low.

Champions or leaders provide morale boosts to nearby units.

End Phase:

Remove destroyed units and check for special conditions or objectives (such as holding key locations).

Activate your faction abilities for the next round.

4. Unit Activation & Dice Rolls (Action Dice System):

Action Dice Pool: At the start of each turn, each player has a pool of Action Dice equal to the number of units in their army. Players assign dice to activate units and resolve their actions.

Activation Roll: This triggers upon a unit’s actions, like attacks or abilities that effect other units.

Champion Leadership: Champion units can boost activation chances or grant additional actions to units near them.

Reaction System: When it's not their turn, players can spend Action Dice to react to enemy actions (e.g., intercepting a charge, casting a counterspell, or firing at an enemy unit before they act).

5. Morale & Leadership:

Morale Checks: Units with low morale may fail to act, retreat, or break from the battle. Morale is influenced by leadership, casualties, and events during the game.

Leadership Aura: Championes and generals boost the morale of nearby units. Each Champion has a Leadership Roll that, if successful, can help units pass morale checks or give bonuses to their actions.

Morale Tokens: Track a unit’s morale. If a unit’s morale drops too low, they may flee the battlefield or become ineffective in combat.

6. Combat Resolution (Dice Rolls):

Attack & Wounds Rolls: Combat is resolved by rolling Action Dice (typically 2–3 dice per unit). The attacker rolls to hit, while the defender rolls to resist. Each die that meets or exceeds a set threshold is a success.

Critical Hits: Rolling the highest value on the dice (e.g., 6 on a d6) results in a critical hit, causing extra damage or triggering a special effect.

Damage Calculation: The number of successes determines how much damage is dealt, factoring in the defender’s resilience.

7. Player abilities & Battlefield Effects (Optional):

Event Cards: At the start of each Round, players draw an Event Card that introduces a random event, such as:

Magical Storm: All spellcasting units gain extra power, but also cast.

Fog of war: Line of sight is reduced to max 8 inches for this round.

Divine Favor: A unit gets a boost to their next attack or morale.

These events keep the battlefield dynamic and unpredictable, forcing players to adapt their strategies.

Distant chaos: Chaos in the distance gives disadvantage as the sounds of chaos happen in the distance.

Healing leaves: All units regain 1 wound, and holy creature’s deal double attack.

8. Objectives & Victory Conditions:

Objective-Based Victory: Scenarios have specific victory conditions, such as:

Total Conquest: Destroy all enemy units.

Territory Control: Occupy key locations on the battlefield for a set number of turns.

Champion Assasination: The main goal is simple, kill the champion of the opposing player.

Assassination: Kill the enemy Champion unit.

Survival: Survive against overwhelming odds or hold out for a set number of turns.

Victory Points (VP): Players earn Victory Points for completing objectives. The player with the most VP at the end of the game wins.

9. Campaign Mode:

Players can engage in campaigns where the outcomes of battles carry over to future games. Championes can gain experience, level up, and acquire new abilities or equipment. Armies can change over time, gaining new units or losing key members based on the results of each game.

Factions

1. The Ironclad (Heavy Infantry & Siege Warfare)

Faction Theme: A disciplined, industrial empire driven by ruthless militarism and technological prowess. Their armies consist of heavily armed foot soldiers, war machines, and siege engines.

Faction Unique Abilities:

Iron Wall: Ironclad Infantry can form a defensive wall, gaining a bonus to Wounds when grouped together.

Overcharge: Steam Knights can overcharge their engines to gain extra movement and attack power for one turn, but they take damage after using it.

Siege Supremacy: Your artillery units roll an additional attack die when firing at enemy units behind cover or fortifications.

Faction Traits:

Unyielding Resolve: Units in the Ironclad Dominion have high morale and are less likely to break under pressure. They receive a +1 bonus to all morale checks.

Siege Masters: The faction excels at long-range bombardment and siege warfare. Siege weapons (like catapults, cannons, and ballistae) have increased range and deal extra damage to fortified units or structures.

Mechanized Machines: Certain units, like Steam Knights or Iron Golems, are powered by clockwork technology. These units have increased wounds and can ignore terrain penalties.

Units:

Ironclad Infantry: (cost 1 point) Heavy infantry with high Wounds and low mobility. They can form defensive lines and hold positions effectively.

Type: Armored

wounds: 5

Damage: 3 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Steam Knights: (Cost 5 points) Armored cavalry on mechanical horses, ideal for charging and breaking enemy lines. Their mechanical Crucible allows them to move through difficult terrain more easily.

Type: Water and Armored

wounds: 7

Damage: 5 (Melee Charge)

Wounds: 4

Ability: inflict burn upon attack and 

Artillery (Bombard Cannons, Ballistae): (Cost 10 points) Siege weapons that can target enemy units from a distance, with powerful, long-range attacks.

Type: water and radiant

wounds: 4

Damage: 6 (Ranged)

Wounds: 2

Ability: heal nearby allies by 1 wound each round and 

War Machines (Iron Golem, War Juggernaut): (Cost 12 points) Massive, slow-moving constructs with a high amount of wounds and devastating melee attacks.

Type: Radiant and Armored

wounds: 12

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 6

Ability: prevent enemies from healing, and ignore 1 wound inflicted once a round.

Champion: Lord Ironhammer, Warden of the Steel

Type: Radiant, Magic, and Strength

wounds: 12

Damage: 7 (Melee)

Wounds: 6

Movement: 10

Notes: A towering figure in thick, enchanted steel armor. Lord Ironhammer is an expert in defensive warfare, using his mechanical prowess to command machines and fortify positions.

Abilities:

Aetheric Barrage: Deals 8 damage to a group of enemies within a 4-inch radius, with a 2-turn cooldown. The magical blast can hit multiple units at once.

Arcane Ward: Once per game, Veloria can cast an area-wide shield around friendly units, reducing incoming damage by half for one turn.

Summon Elemental: Veloria can summon an elemental creature (like a fire or water elemental) to fight alongside her. The elemental has 6 wounds and deals 4 damage, but only lasts for 3 turns.

Champion: Lady Oxavia Ironhammer, Demigod of metal

Type: Radiant, Armored, and Courage

wounds: 12

Damage: 7 (Melee)

Wounds: 6

Movement: 10

Notes: The heir to her father’s throne and power house of magic abilities. A said to be a demi god of Metal and Radiance. Often seen as a pillar of Radiant power and harboring a genuine love for the average person. Feeling deep joy for her troops' celebrations and all consuming rage when those close to her get attacked. Yet, she still holds a secret ambition that could be seen as heretical. An unexplained intrusive thought that repeatedly haunts her and makes her smile. She doesn’t know why, but she wishes to hunt and kill a god. To hunt and dismember a god and claim a trophy from them. Although she can’t quite hunt gods yet, Champions are close enough for now.

Abilities: 

Burning charge: twice a game, Take her and every allied creature within 8 inches of her, and move forward 12 inches in one direction, ignoring normal obstacles and moral checks that would otherwise be made.

Ritchuse furry: When an enemy unit kills a friendly creature in Oxavia’s line of sight, Axavia get’s one extra die for every unit she saw killed. This effect lasts for a round and only activates on trigger. If this effect is triggered, Oxavia must try and kill that unit next round.

Hunting time: As soon as Oxavia sees or is seen by another Champion, she and any troops within 5 inches of her deal double damage to that champion regardless of types.

Champion: Sir Balder Ironhammer, Master of the forges.

Type: Radiant, lightning, and Wisdom

wounds: 8

Damage: 8 (Melee)

Wounds: 5

Movement: 10

Notes: Balder is the younger brother of Oxavia, and youngest son of lord Ironhamer. Often forgotten because of his position in the background.

Abilities: 

Burning charge: twice a game, Take her and every allied creature within 8 inches of her, and move forward 12 inches in one direction, ignoring normal obstacles and moral checks that would otherwise be made.

Ritchuse furry: When an enemy unit kills a friendly creature in Oxavia’s line of sight, Axavia get’s one extra die for every unit she saw killed. This effect lasts for a round and only activates on trigger. If this effect is triggered, Oxavia must try and kill that unit next round.

Hunting time: As soon as Oxavia sees or is seen by another Champion, she and any troops within 5 inches of here deal double damage to that champion regardless of types.

2. The Firefront Order (Magical Masters & Elites)

Faction Theme: A secretive order of wizards and scholars who control ancient magics and command powerful arcane forces. They rely on knowledge, control of magic, and mystic creatures to dominate the battlefield.

Faction Unique Abilities:

Arcane Surge: A caster can channel a surge of power, re-rolling failed spellcasting rolls once per game.

Spell Reflect: If an enemy spell is cast within range of an Arcane Guardian, the player may attempt to reflect the spell back at the enemy.

Summon Elemental: Once per game, summon a powerful elemental to fight for you. The elemental can only be summoned in areas where magic is particularly strong.

Faction Traits:

Arcane Power: Spellcasters in the Firefront Order gain bonus spellcasting power. They can cast spells at higher levels and with greater range.

Etheric Resonance: Once per game, players can use Etheric Resonance to draw upon the power of the ancient realm, giving all friendly spellcasters +2 to their casting rolls for one turn.

Mystic Wounds: Firefront Order units gain resistance to magical attacks and have a special ability to deflect spells cast by enemies within range.

Units:

Apprentice Mages: (Cost 2 points) Low-cost, weak units with limited spellcasting abilities. They can assist with magical support or fire weak projectiles.

Type: Fire

wounds: 3

Damage: 4 (range 25 inches)

Wounds: 2

Battle Sorcerers: (Cost 8) Experienced spellcasters who can cast powerful spells, summon creatures, or manipulate the battlefield.

Type: Fire and Magic

wounds: 5

Damage: 5 

Wounds: 3

Ability: on attacks, inflict burn for two rounds, and heal when they have the burn effect.

Fire spirit (Elementals, Summoned Spirits): (Cost 14 points) Mythical creatures that can be summoned to fight for the Firefront Order. They’re powerful but ephemeral, often disappearing after being defeated.

Type: Fire and Spirit

wounds: 10

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 5

Ability: Inflict burn on attack and ignores one wound a round.

Fire Drake: (Cost 18 points) Elite warriors protected by magical wards, combining high Wounds with potent offensive spells.

Type: Fire and draconic

wounds: 8

Damage: 4 (Magic)

Wounds: 4

Ability: Force all creatures in your sightline not to move towards you or away from you, and inflict burn upon attack.

Champion: High Keeper Sylas, Warden of the Wilds

Type: Fire, Crucible, and Wisdom

wounds: 10

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 6

Notes: Sylas is an ancient protector of the forest, with the ability to command the beasts and Crucible spirits to fight alongside him. He is a powerful hybrid of warrior and spellcaster.

Abilities:

Crucible’s Wrath: Deals 7 damage to all enemy units within a 4-inch radius and causes them to become "Entangled" (unable to move for 1 turn).

Beast Call: Summons two wolfkin warriors (4 wounds, 5 damage each) to fight on the battlefield for 3 turns. This ability has a 3-turn cooldown.

Healing Grove: Creates an area where friendly units heal 2 wounds at the start of each turn for 3 turns. This ability has a 4-turn cooldown.

Champion: Lord Yarig, FireSide Knight

Type: Fire, armor, and wisdom

wounds: 8

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 6

Notes: Yarig is a known pilgrim that has captured the hearts of ash and embers. They are renowned for their magic and his powers over the dead. Often seen as his one true controversial trait. Yet his joyful personality hides an ambitious mind. Even helping to bring the Firefront together as its head propagandist.

Abilities:

Ash Hall: Block the Line of sight of any creature in Lord Yarig’s line of sight for a round .

Fire call: Boost any fire type friendly creatures on the field, and attack anyone within Lord Yarig’s line of sight, and boost any moral checks made by allies by 2 advantages

Ashen Oxilery: Once a game, summon back 6 Apprentice mages who have been killed at half wounds, and only having the type of “Fire”. 

Champion: Exavior Scorchmen, Fire helm Kingsmen

Type: Fire, Magic, and Strength

wounds: 8

Damage: 8 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 6

Notes: A Rot cleaner renowned for destroying rot in all its forms. Oftentimes even resorting to gunpowder and walls of bonfires to contain a very angry rot giant. His reason for joining the Firefront order mostly because he originally needed more funding to fight the rot. When the war started though, he became oddly officiant of roughting people into very unfortunate positions. Along with generally having an odd skill in hand to hand combat. Even developing his own combat style based on lighting himself on fire and using rot in controlled bursts. Much to the terror of his enemies. Still, his most notorious actions are often tied to the extreme lengths he’ll go to combat rot and disease quickly, even if it means a high body count.

Abilities:

Impromptu infection: If attacking, for two rounds, the target Courage take 1 wound every 3 inches they move.

Cauterizing flow: Inflict 1 wound on a creature and remove all effects and status effects from that creature.

Purge the plague: All Allied deal double damage to rot creatures, and are neutral to any element effects if the creature targeted has a status effect.

3. The Branchbound Baronies (Crucible & Beastfolk)

Faction Theme: A coalition of Keepers, forest guardians, and beastfolk who have united to protect their lands from invaders. Their forces rely on Crucible magic, the strength of wild beasts, and guerrilla tactics.

Faction Unique Abilities:

Pack Tactics: Beastfolk units gain a bonus when fighting in packs (e.g., when within 2 hexes of another Beastfolk unit).

Crucible’s Wrath: Use your magic to summon a storm, reducing enemy accuracy and movement for a turn.

Healing Circle: Create an area of healing where all units inside regenerate wounds each turn.

Faction Traits:

Natural Resilience: Units in the Branchbound Baronies have a natural resistance to damage from natural terrain (forests, rivers, etc.). They are also faster in forested areas.

Beast Bond: Many of the faction’s units can bond with animals and beasts, giving them enhanced combat abilities or the ability to command wild beasts to fight.

Healing Grove: The Branchbound Baronies can create zones of healing, where friendly units within range heal a small amount of wounds every turn.

Units:

Keeper Guardians: (Cost 1 Point) Spellcasters with the ability to heal allies and command Crucible spirits. They can also create terrain-based effects, like roots or vines to entangle enemies.

Type: Crucible

wounds: 6

Damage: 4 (Magic)

Wounds: 3

Beastfolk Warriors (Wolfkin, Bearkin): (Cost 5 points) Animal-like warriors with enhanced physical strength. Wolfkin are fast and agile, while Bearkin are strong and resilient.

Type: Crucible and Beast

wounds: 4

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 2

Ability: This creature has advantage on moral checks, and can cause moral checks to any troops who sees them kill another unit.

Great Beasts (Dire Wolves, Forest Giants): (Cost 6 points) Large, powerful creatures that can deal significant damage and disrupt enemy formations.

Type: Crucible and beast

wounds: 8

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Ability: This creature can force out a roar when taking two wounds, and ignores terrain effects.

Vinebinders: (Cost 10 points) Specialists who can create barriers of thorns and roots, slowing down or impeding enemy movement.

Type: Beast and Magic

wounds: 10

Damage: 7 (Melee)

Wounds: 3

Ability: once a round, whenever this creature is attacked they automatically attack a creature close to it, and moral checks are made with advantage.

Champion: High Keeper Sylas, Warden of the Wilds

Type: Beast, Draconic, and Courage

wounds: 8

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 6

Notes: Sylas is an ancient protector of the forest, with the ability to command the beasts and Crucible spirits to fight alongside him. He is a powerful hybrid of warrior and spellcaster.

Abilities:

Crucible’s Radiance: All friendly creatures who are within 4in of you gain advantage on their moral checks, and heal 1 wound every round.

Beast Call: Summons two wolfkin warriors (4 wounds, 5 damage each) to fight on the battlefield for 3 turns. This ability has a 3-turn cooldown.

Healing Grove: Creates an area where friendly units heal 2 wounds at the start of each turn for 3 turns. This ability has a 4-turn cooldown.

Champion: Hearthime, The Barbarian king

Type: Beast, Armor, and Strength

wounds: 10

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 8

Notes: A fierce bavarian chef who is known to wander the world looking for worthy opponents. Yet he’s chosen to become part of the branchbound. All this despite him once being the ruling general of this land before he was discarded in an age of rule.

Abilities:

Crucible’s Wrath: Deals 7 damage to all enemy units within a 4-inch radius and causes them to become "Entangled" (unable to move for 1 round).

Rawr of the crucible: once a round, A massive rawr is let out, all enemy creatures in a 12 inch radius must make a moral check or run away screaming. Hearthime has advantages against these individuals.

Deadly thicket: Any enemy creature within 4 inches of this creature Courage take a wound when this creature moves away. Any friendly creatures can choose to move with Hearthime. 

Champion: Isabel Dragoneater, “New queen”

Type: Beast, Crucible, and Wisdom

wounds: 8

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 8

Notes: The exiled ruler of a long dead kingdom now lost beneath the waves of blood and rot. Now she marches with this new land with allies to claim a seat as queen of these lands. The lands her people was once driven out of.

Abilities:

Crucible’s Crown: Whenever an enemy is within 6 inches, they Courage have disadvantage on moral rolls, and must do it every movement they make. Along with dealing double damage to dragon enemies.

Call of the Crucible: All crucible type creatures, any attacks that have their damage reduced by their type is made neutral.

Royal Retribution: Any creature that wounds Isabel Courage take double damage from all troops the round after.

4. The Ashen legion (Undead Legion & Dark Sorcery)

Faction Theme: A dark and ancient army of the dead, controlled by necromancers and built from the bones of fallen warriors. Their focus is on overwhelming numbers, death magic, and the control of souls.

Faction Unique Abilities:

Raise Dead: Once per game, a Necromancer can raise a unit of skeletons from any destroyed enemy unit.

Cursed Blade: Death Knights can curse an enemy unit with their weapon, reducing its combat effectiveness for the rest of the battle.

Soul Surge: Sacrifice Soul Tokens to increase the power of your necromancers’ spells, either summoning more units or weakening enemies.

Faction Traits:

Endless Hunger: Undead units do not suffer morale checks and can be raised back to life once per game. They also gain a bonus to attacks when within range of a friendly necromancer.

Soul Harvest: Every time a unit from the Ashen legion destroys an enemy unit, the player gains Soul Tokens, which can be spent to raise new units or empower spells.

Dark Rituals: Necromancers can sacrifice Soul Tokens to summon undead units or cast powerful dark rituals.

Units:

Skeleton Warriors: (Cost 1 Point)Basic undead foot soldiers, weak in terms of Wounds but easily replenished with Soul Tokens.

Type: rot

wounds: 4

Damage: 4 (Melee)

Wounds: 2

Death Knights: (Cost 3 points) Undead cavalry with stronger armor and high offensive capabilities. They can charge and disrupt enemy formations.

Type: Spirit and Rot

wounds: 8

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 5

Ability: When an enemy dies around you, they can not be resurrected, and this creature can attack automatically one last time when it hits 0hp.

Necromancers: (Cost 8 points) Dark spellcasters who control the forces of death. They can raise new undead units and cast powerful curses or life-draining spells.

Type: Spirit and Magic

wounds: 5

Damage: 2 (Magic)

Wounds: 3

Ability: Bring back any allied rot or magic creatures within 3 inches of you, and all allies have advantage on moral checks when in your sightlines. This ability does not apply when they’re freshly resurrected.

Grave Terrors: (Cost 12 points) Large, monstrous undead creatures that can cause fear and havoc, disrupting enemy lines.

Type: Rot and Magic

wounds: 10

Damage: 8 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Ability: this creature can regain 1Hp for every two dead creatures it eats, and force a moral check to all creatures who can see it.

Champion: Lady Morrigan, the Soul Reaper

Type: Spirit, Armored, and Courage.

wounds: 10

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 4

Notes: Lady Morrigan is a necromancer and death knight, combining the power of life and death. She is a force of darkness, raising the dead and draining the life force of her enemies.

Abilities:

Soul Drain: Steals 4 wounds from a single enemy and heals Morrigan for the same amount. This can be used to heal herself in combat.

Raise Undead: Once per game, Morrigan can raise 4 fallen skeleton warriors from nearby dead units (each with 4 wounds and 4 damage).

Fear of the Grave: Forces enemy units within a 6-inch radius to roll for morale. Any unit that fails the morale test must retreat 3 inches.

Champion: Old Grey eyed, the Crown sovereign

Type: Rot, water, and wisdom

wounds: 6

Damage: 0 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 6 in

Notes: Lord Grey eyed is one of if not the first undead, making him very special to those of rot and spirits. The fact he’s considered a demi god is just a bonus in that regard.

Abilities:

Stagnant presession: 3 times a game, If Old Grey eyed is killed, four friendly units can be sacrificed to resurrect him with half wounds, along with only being able to move if four other units are with him.

Equivalent exchange: While Old grey eye is active, once an enemy unit is killed, you can resurrect units of equal or lesser point cost. This effect does not apply to creatures killed while old grey eyes aren't on the field.

Royal protection: When an enemy unit is within 5 inches of old grey eyes, all friendly units have advantage on all rolls, but must rush to old grey eyes and defend them.

With Death as my Witness: Any enemy creature reduced to half its max wounds, who is within line of sight from old grey eye, automatically tack 2 wounds each round they remain there.

Champion: Ancient Alicia, the Dreaming death

Type: Spirit, Umbrel, and Strength

wounds: 8

Damage: 6 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 8 in

Notes: She is a dreaming spirit and is often considered the demi-god of dreams.

Abilities:

Sleeping Monster: All allied creatures are given a passive boost to morale checks. 

Waking storm: When awake, inflict wounds on all enemies in this creature’s eyesight and inflict another wound and inflict an additional wound. Along with forcing all who can see her to immediately make a moral check, this only works on Champions once a round.

Calming Umbrel: All creatures under this commander ignore all double damage caused by their Rot and spirit typing. Along with ignoring any disadvantages of her own types besides strength.

5. The Red Hollows (Elite Warriors & Blood Magic)

Faction Theme: A military order of highly trained warriors, blood mages, and holy knights. They are fierce, disciplined, and ruthless, using both martial prowess and blood magic to strike down their foes.

Faction Unique Abilities:

Blood Magic: Sacrifice wounds to cast powerful spells or enhance attacks. The more wounds sacrificed, the more potent the effect.

Vanguard Charge: Crimson Knights gain an extra attack die when charging an enemy unit or when charging a unit with less than 3 units in range.

Blood Shield: Once per game, a Blood Mage can create a blood shield that protects all friendly units within a small radius for one turn, reducing incoming damage.

Faction Traits:

Blood Price: The Red hollows can empower themselves with blood magic, sacrificing their own wounds to enhance their abilities. Each unit can sacrifice 1 wounds to gain +1 to attack or Wounds for the rest of the turn.

Warrior’s Honor: Units in the Red hollows become stronger when fighting enemies in close combat. They gain a +1 bonus to attacks against units within 1 hex.

Blood Pact: Championes can form pacts with nearby units, granting them temporary boosts to attack or Wounds in exchange for their wounds.

Units:

Crimson Legionnaires: Heavy infantry who excel in close combat, with high attack values and special training that makes them effective at holding the line.

Type: Blood

wounds: 6

Damage: 5 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Blood Mages: Spellcasters who use blood magic to fuel their powers. They can deal damage to enemies, heal allies, or boost the power of other units by sacrificing wounds.

Type: Blood and Magic

wounds: 4

Damage: 4 

Wounds: 2

Ability: Take half the hp equal to half the damage allies dealt  to an enemy (Rounding down). Along with giving this unit’s own hp to others using its turn.

Crimson Knights: Mounted warriors who charge into battle with devastating attacks. They are equipped with magical weapons that can cut through armor.

Type: Blood and Armored

wounds: 7

Damage: 7 (Melee)

Wounds: 5

Ability: When successfully damaging a creature, take half the damage you did as Hp for this crimson knight, and can not be killed by ranged attacks.

Blood Fiends: Demonic creatures summoned through dark blood rituals. They have high wounds and can cause chaos among enemy ranks.

Types: Blood and Frenzy

wounds: 12

Damage: 9 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Ability: Attack all creatures around this unit without spending an action, and making the enemies that survive its attack make a moral check.

Champion: General Rhaegar, Blood-Drinker of the Crimson Host

Type: Blood, Magic, and Courage

wounds: 10

Damage: 8 (Melee)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 8 in

Notes: Rhaegar is a legendary warrior and master of blood magic. His combat skills are unrivaled, and he can sacrifice his own life force to enhance his abilities or devastate his enemies.

Abilities:

Blood Rage: For 2 turns, Rhaegar gains +3 damage and +1 movement, but he loses 1 wounds per turn while in this state.

Blood Sacrifice: Rhaegar can sacrifice up to 4 wounds points to deal 8 damage to any enemy unit within 6 inches. This ability has a 3-turn cooldown.

Crimson Shield: Once per game, Rhaegar can shield a nearby friendly unit from all damage for 1 turn, redirecting any damage back to Rhaegar.

Champion: Lord Halter, The Crimson crown

Type: Blood, Draconic, and Strength

wounds: 12

Damage: 9 (Melee)

Wounds: 5

Movement: 4 in

Notes: Halter is a draconic mass that is known for their bulkiness and deadly blood

Abilities:

Blood retaliation: Whenever he is attacked, all within 3 inches of him are attacked for 4 damage.

Blood gourger: When nearby an enemy with under half their wounds, he can eat them to recover 1 wound. He can not do this for Champions.

Red rush: Once per game, Halter can let out a barrage of blood spikes to upon a 6 in circle of enemies. These attacks have advantage, and Any who survives of this attack Courage be inflicted with burn.

Champion: Barla, The Flayed Lady

Type: Blood, Spirit, and Wisdom

wounds: 8

Damage: 20 in (range)

Wounds: 4

Movement: 10 in

Notes: Barla is an ancient entity that is rarely seen outside of battle. When she is in battle, all fear it.

Abilities:

Spectral dance: All creatures who see her must make a moral check every time she is in line of sight of those units. If they fail that moral check, they Courage scatter in different directions.

Skinned visage: You can not be hit by range attacks from units under half their wounds.

Blood rain: twice a game, activate a field wide ability that makes all blood type creatures have advantage on moral and attack checks, and half the movement speed of all creatures not blood type have their movement halved. This effect lasts for 2 rounds.

Minor factions

Minor factions are those without their own abilities or Champions. Instead being independent bands of people who can independently be hired.

The Poacher knights

Themes: The Poacher knights are a former group of knights and soldiers who have long since been reduced to piracy. Pirate like clothing and modifications over many different knightley garb. Their fall came when their lord's young son was eviscerated by bandits. Sending him into a deep depression. With their village and supplies dwindling, they began renting themselves out as mercenaries to try and make due, and maybe help their lord have some favor in whatever comes after this war. That burning hope burns in the heart of all their troops. A Hope to help their lord and save their lands from irrelevant and starvation. Even if they must work with less savory groups.

1. Briggon Dredgers

(Cost: 1 Point)Type: Armored

Damage: 2 (Melee)

Wounds: 2

Defence: 2

Movement: 5 in

Ability:

Fortified Stance: If the unit remains stationary for one round, they heal 1 Wounds for the following round. They can forgo doing this to themselves to do it to a friendly creature within 2 inches of it

2. Rivermouth Skirmisher

(Cost: 6 Points)Type: Armored, water

Wounds: 4

Damage: 6 (Melee Charge)

Defence: 4

Movement: 8 in

Ability:

Devastating Charge: When the Rivermouth skirmisher moves straight towards an enemy, they deal +2 damage on their first melee attacks after that . If there are 5 or more within 6 inches of each other, they can all take a free movement action together up to 8 inches. 

3. Siege bodies

(Cost: 10 Points)Type: Spectrel, Water

Wounds: 5

Damage: 7 (Ranged)

Movement: 8 in

Defence:  3

Ability:

Overwhelming Barrage: When the Siege Hammers hit a unit, they have a 50% chance of inflicting a “Weakened” status, reducing enemy Wounds by 2 for one round.

Drowned Recalibration: Once per game, a group of 6 Siege Hammers can “recharge” their energy, restoring 1 wound to themselves or a nearby friendly water type unit.

5. Deck Squire

(Cost: 8 Points)Type: Armored, water

Wounds: 6

Damage: 6 (Ranged)

Defence: 3

Movement: 8 in

Ability:

Aether Burn: Any enemy unit hit by a Deck Squire suffers 1 additional wound at the start of their next round as if they are drowning.

Waterlogged shield: Once per game, Deck Squires can activate a shield, reducing wounds they take this round by 3 until the next round.

4. Sea wolf Knight

(Cost: 15 Points)Type: Armored, Radiant

Damage: 8 (Melee)

Wounds: 7

Defence: 4

Movement: 10 in

Ability:

Indomitable Presence: Titanic Constructs cannot be moved by enemy abilities that force movement (such as knockback or being dragged).

Salt in the wound: once a game, if someone tries to recover wounds in a sea wolf knight’s sight, you can choose to make that ability deal damage instead.

The Congregation of Aurther

Themes: An old congregation that was forcibly disbanded by the old order. Many are forced to carry the remains of their temples on them as an eternal punishment, unless they convert. Yet, now that the land is at war, many are wanted for their abilities and powers. With the largest amongst them, these architect Pilgrims, have begun to use their burdens as parts of them. Some use seven foot doors like shields, Pieces of stained glass like eternally sharp blades, chandeliers and censors like flails, status like bartering rams, their chains letting them attack at a range, and much more. With the undead temple guardians of The Gueneveir knights now wandering with groups of those still faithful carrying their burdens, and holding congregations.

1. Aurther Monk

(Cost: 1 Point)Type: umbrel

Damage: 2 (Melee)

Wounds: 2

Movement: 5 in

Defence: 2

Ability:

Umbrella Exaltation: All creatures within 5 inches of an Aurther Monk count as umbrel creatures. 

2. Bors Umbrella Abit

(Cost: 6 Points)Type: Umbrel, Magic

Damage: 6 (Melee Charge)

Wounds: 3

Defence: 3

Movement: 6 in

Ability:

Call to arms: three of these entities can prevent any damage from Ranged weapons for any characters within 3 inches of each Umbrella Abit. However, if it’s within 5 inches, this ability is ignored.

3. Percible penitent

(Cost: 10 Points)Type: umbrel, Armor

Damage: 7 (Ranged)

Defence: 3

Wounds: 5

Movement: 5 in

Ability:

Umbrel Destruction: once a game, for an entire round, if at least one of these units fall, all enemy creatures are treated as radiant type for a round

Purging dark: have advantage against radiant type creatures.

4. Gueneveir Knight

(Cost: 8 Points)Type: Armored, umbrel

Wounds: 9

Damage: 7 (Melee)

Defence: 4

Movement: 8 in

Ability:

Undead Sentinel: This creature can not be forcibly moved, and automatically makes a free melee attack towards anyone who moves within 8 inches of it.

Umbrel lullaby: 

5. The Architect Pilgrims.

(Cost: 20 Points)Type: Armored, Umbrel

Damage: 14 (Melee)

Defence: 5

Wounds: 6

Movement: 5 in

Ability:

Crushing weight: All melee attacks ignore reduced damage when it comes to type.

Meat Shield: three times a game, If a creature is within 5 inches of an Architect Pilgrim, the architect pilgrim can choose to move in front of the creature under attack, and redirect the attack to itself.

[onewomancitadel]

Having cycled through a lot of my annoyances at fandom terms, I have come to realise that part of the reason I tend to just plain fucking hate them is because the same person who regurgitates the same memetic analysis over and over again is just not frightfully interesting.

[jcmarchi]

Studying astrophysically relevant plasma physics

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/studying-astrophysically-relevant-plasma-physics/

Studying astrophysically relevant plasma physics

Thomas Varnish loves his hobbies — knitting, baking, pottery — it’s a long list. His latest interest is analog film photography. A picture with his mother and another with his boyfriend are just a few of Varnish’s favorites. “These moments of human connection are the ones I like,” he says.

Varnish’s love of capturing a fleeting moment on film translates to his research when he conducts laser interferometry on plasmas using off-the-shelf cameras. At the Department of Nuclear Science and Engineering, the third-year doctoral student studies various facets of astrophysically relevant fundamental plasma physics under the supervision of Professor Jack Hare.

It’s an area of research that Varnish arrived at organically.

A childhood fueled by science

Growing up in Warwickshire, England, Varnish fell in love with lab experiments as a middle-schooler after joining the science club. He remembers graduating from the classic egg-drop experiment to tracking the trajectory of a catapult, and eventually building his own model electromagnetic launch system. It was a set of electromagnets and sensors spaced along a straight track that could accelerate magnets and shoot them out the end. Varnish demonstrated the system by using it to pop balloons. Later, in high school, being a part of the robotics club team got him building a team of robots to compete in RoboCup, an international robot soccer competition. Varnish also joined the astronomy club, which helped seed an interest in the adjacent field of astrophysics.

Varnish moved on to Imperial College London to study physics as an undergraduate but he was still shopping around for definitive research interests. Always a hands-on science student, Varnish decided to give astronomy instrumentation a whirl during a summer school session in Canada.

However, even this discipline didn’t quite seem to stick until he came upon a lab at Imperial conducting research in experimental astrophysics. Called MAGPIE (The Mega Ampere Generator for Plasma Implosion Experiments), the facility merged two of Varnish’s greatest loves: hands-on experiments and astrophysics. Varnish eventually completed an undergraduate research opportunity (UROP) project at MAGPIE under the guidance of Hare, his current advisor, who was then a postdoc at the MAGPIE lab at Imperial College.

Part of Varnish’s research for his master’s degree at Imperial involved stitching together observations from the retired Herschel Space Telescope to create the deepest far-infrared image ever made by the instrument. The research also used statistical techniques to understand the patterns of brightness distribution in the images and to trace them to specific combinations of galaxy occurrences. By studying patterns in the brightness of a patch of dark sky, Varnish could discern the population of galaxies in the region.

Move to MIT

Varnish followed Hare (and a dream of studying astrophysics) to MIT, where he primarily focuses on plasma in the context of astrophysical environments. He studies experimental pulsed-power-driven magnetic reconnection in the presence of a guide field.

Key to Varnish’s experiments is a pulsed-power facility, which is essentially a large capacitor capable of releasing a significant surge of current. The electricity passes through (and vaporizes) thin wires in a vacuum chamber to create a plasma. At MIT, the facility currently being built at the Plasma Science and Fusion Center (PSFC) by Hare’s group is called: PUFFIN (PUlser For Fundamental (Plasma Physics) INvestigations).

In a pulsed-power facility, tiny cylindrical arrays of extremely thin metal wires usually generate the plasma. Varnish’s experiments use an array in which graphite leads, the kind used in mechanical pencils, replace the wires. “Doing so gives us the right kind of plasma with the right kind of properties we’d like to study,” Varnish says. The solution is also easy to work with and “not as fiddly as some other methods.” A thicker post in the middle completes the array. A pulsed current traveling down the array vaporizes the thin wires into a plasma. The interactions between the current flowing through the plasma and the generated magnetic field pushes the plasma radially outward. “Each little array is like a little exploding bubble of magnetized plasma,” Varnish says. He studies the interaction between the plasma flows at the center of two adjacent arrays.

Studying plasma behavior

The plasma generated in these pulsed-power experiments is stable only for a few hundred nanoseconds, so diagnostics have to take advantage of an extremely short sampling window. Laser interferometry, which images plasma density, is Varnish’s favorite. In this technique, a camera takes a picture of a split laser beam, one arm of which encounters the plasma and one that doesn’t. The arm that hits the plasma produces an interference pattern when the two arms are recombined. Capturing the result with a camera allows researchers to infer the structure of the plasma flows.

Another diagnostic method involves placing tiny loops of metal wire in the plasma (called B-dots), which record how the magnetic field in the plasma changes in time. Yet another way to study plasma physics is using a technique called Faraday rotation, which measures the twisting of polarized light as it passes through a magnetic field. The net result is an “image map of magnetic fields, which is really quite incredible,” Varnish says.

These diagnostic techniques help Varnish research magnetic reconnection, the process by which plasma breaks and reforms magnetic fields. It’s all about energy redistribution, Varnish says, and is particularly relevant because it creates solar flares. Varnish studies how having not-perfectly-opposite magnetic field lines might affect the reconnection process.

Most research in plasma physics can be neatly explained by the principles of magnetohydrodynamics, but the phenomena observed in Varnish’s experiments need to be explained with additional theories. Using pulsed power enables studies over longer length scales and time periods than in other experiments, such as laser-driven ones. Varnish is looking forward to working on simulations and follow-up experiments on PUFFIN to study these phenomena under slightly different conditions, which might shed new light on the processes.

At the moment, Varnish’s focus is on programming the control systems for PUFFIN so he can get it up and running. Part of the diagnostics system involves ensuring that the facility will deliver the plasma-inducing currents needed and perform as expected.

Aiding LGBTQ+ efforts

When not working on PUFFIN or his experiments, Varnish serves as co-lead of an LGBTQ+ affinity group at the PSFC, which he set up with a fellow doctoral student. The group offers a safe space for LGBTQ+ scientists and meets for lunch about once a month. “It’s been a nice bit of community building, and I think it’s important to support other LGBTQ+ scientists and make everyone feel welcome, even if it’s just in small ways,” Varnish says, “It has definitely helped me to feel more comfortable knowing there’s a handful of fellow LGBTQ+ scientists at the center.”

Varnish has his hobbies going. One of his go-to bakes is a “rocky road,” a British chocolate bar that mixes chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers. His research interests, too, are a delicious concoction mixed together: “the intersection of plasma physics, laboratory astrophysics, astrophysics (the won’t-fit-in-a-lab kind), and instrumentation.”

[thistaleisabloodyone]

A major downside of the psych degree is, like, looking at various celebrities and going "... do you have anxiety/ADHD/something else, is everything okay?" and, like, I have no way of knowing for sure, I just know what it looks like to me from the outside, and it worries because if it is what I think I'm seeing, then are they getting help? Are they okay?

[menlove]

speaking of the mechanic. we've been carless for a week bc the check engine light came on and it stopped reversing (& would reverse again after sitting for a few minutes) but today we took it to the mechanic and the mechanic said w the type of car it is it's almost guaranteed to be $1.3-3k (depending on the issue)

as soon as we turn her on in the parking lot the check engine light was off and it was reversing fine i'm like

she got scared straight..........

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tesla accused of hacking odometers to weasel out of warranty repairs

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me at NEW ZEALAND'S UNITY BOOKS in AUCKLAND on May 2, and in WELLINGTON on May 3. More tour dates (Pittsburgh, PDX, London, Manchester) here.

A lawsuit filed in February accuses Tesla of remotely altering odometer values on failure-prone cars, in a bid to push these lemons beyond the 50,000 mile warranty limit:

https://www.thestreet.com/automotive/tesla-accused-of-using-sneaky-tactic-to-dodge-car-repairs

The suit was filed by a California driver who bought a used Tesla with 36,772 miles on it. The car's suspension kept failing, necessitating multiple servicings, and that was when the plaintiff noticed that the odometer readings for his identical daily drive were going up by ever-larger increments. This wasn't exactly subtle: he was driving 20 miles per day, but the odometer was clocking 72.35 miles/day. Still, how many of us monitor our daily odometer readings?

In short order, his car's odometer had rolled over the 50k mark and Tesla informed him that they would no longer perform warranty service on his lemon. Right after this happened, the new mileage clocked by his odometer returned to normal. This isn't the only Tesla owner who's noticed this behavior: Tesla subreddits are full of similar complaints:

https://www.reddit.com/r/RealTesla/comments/1ca92nk/is_tesla_inflating_odometer_to_show_more_range/

This isn't Tesla's first dieselgate scandal. In the summer of 2023, the company was caught lying to drivers about its cars' range:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

Drivers noticed that they were getting far fewer miles out of their batteries than Tesla had advertised. Naturally, they contacted the company for service on their faulty cars. Tesla then set up an entire fake service operation in Nevada that these calls would be diverted to, called the "diversion team." Drivers with range complaints were put through to the "diverters" who would claim to run "remote diagnostics" on their cars and then assure them the cars were fine. They even installed a special xylophone in the diversion team office that diverters would ring every time they successfully deceived a driver.

These customers were then put in an invisible Tesla service jail. Their Tesla apps were silently altered so that they could no longer book service for their cars for any reason – instead, they'd have to leave a message and wait several days for a callback. The diversion center racked up 2,000 calls/week and diverters were under strict instructions to keep calls under five minutes. Eventually, these diverters were told that they should stop actually performing remote diagnostics on the cars of callers – instead, they'd just pretend to have run the diagnostics and claim no problems were found (so if your car had a potentially dangerous fault, they would falsely claim that it was safe to drive).

Most modern cars have some kind of internet connection, but Tesla goes much further. By design, its cars receive "over-the-air" updates, including updates that are adverse to drivers' interests. For example, if you stop paying the monthly subscription fee that entitles you to use your battery's whole charge, Tesla will send a wireless internet command to your car to restrict your driving to only half of your battery's charge.

This means that your Tesla is designed to follow instructions that you don't want it to follow, and, by design, those instructions can fundamentally alter your car's operating characteristics. For example, if you miss a payment on your Tesla, it can lock its doors and immobilize itself, then, when the repo man arrives, it will honk its horn, flash its lights, back out of its parking spot, and unlock itself so that it can be driven away:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

Some of the ways that your Tesla can be wirelessly downgraded (like disabling your battery) are disclosed at the time of purchase. Others (like locking you out and summoning a repo man) are secret. But whether disclosed or secret, both kinds of downgrade depend on the genuinely bizarre idea that a computer that you own, that is in your possession, can be relied upon to follow orders from the internet even when you don't want it to. This is weird enough when we're talking about a set-top box that won't let you record a TV show – but when we're talking about a computer that you put your body into and race down the road at 80mph inside of, it's frankly terrifying.

Obviously, most people would prefer to have the final say over how their computers work. I mean, maybe you trust the manufacturer's instructions and give your computer blanket permission to obey them, but if the manufacturer (or a hacker pretending to be the manufacturer, or a government who is issuing orders to the manufacturer) starts to do things that are harmful to you (or just piss you off), you want to be able to say to your computer, "OK, from now on, you take orders from me, not them."

In a state of nature, this is how computers work. To make a computer ignore its owner in favor of internet randos, the manufacturer has to build in a bunch of software countermeasures to stop you from reconfiguring or installing software of your choosing on it. And sure, that software might be able to withstand the attempts of normies like you and me to bypass it, but given that we'd all rather have the final say over how our computers work, someone is gonna figure out how to get around that software. I mean, show me a 10-foot fence and I'll show you an 11-foot ladder, right?

To stop that from happening, Congress passed the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Despite the word "copyright" appearing in the name of the law, it's not really about defending copyright, it's about defending business models. Under Section 1201 of the DMCA, helping someone bypass a software lock is a felony punishable by a five-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine (for a first offense). That's true whether or not any copyright infringement takes place.

So if you want to modify your Tesla – say, to prevent the company from cheating your odometer – you have to get around a software lock, and that's a felony. Indeed, if any manufacturer puts a software lock on its product, then any changes that require disabling or bypassing that lock become illegal. That's why you can't just buy reliable third-party printer ink – reverse-engineering the "is this an original HP ink cartridge?" program is a literal crime, even though using non-HP ink in your printer is absolutely not a copyright violation. Jay Freeman calls this effect "felony contempt of business model."

Thus we arrive at this juncture, where every time you use a product or device or service, it might behave in a way that is totally unlike the last time you used it. This is true whether you own, lease or merely interact with a product. The changes can be obvious, or they can be subtle to the point of invisibility. And while manufacturers can confine their "updates" to things that make the product better (for example, patching security vulnerabilities), there's nothing to stop them from using this uninspectable, non-countermandable veto over your devices' functionality to do things that harm you – like fucking with your odometer.

Or, you know, bricking your car. The defunct EV maker Fisker – who boasted that it made "software-based cars" – went bankrupt last year and bricked the entire fleet of unsold cars:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/10/software-based-car/#based

I call this ability to modify the underlying functionality of a product or service for every user, every time they use it, "twiddling," and it's a major contributor to enshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

Enshittification's observable symptoms follow a predictable pattern: first, a company makes things good for its users, while finding ways to lock them in. Then, once it knows the users can't easily leave, the company makes things worse for end-users in order to deliver value to business customers. Once these businesses are locked in, the company siphons value away from them, too, until the product or service is a pile of shit, that we still can't leave:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/26/ursula-franklin/#franklinite

Twiddling is key to enshittification: it's the method by which value is shifted from end-users to business customers, and from business customers to the platform. Twiddling is the "switch" in enshittification's series of minute, continuous bait-and-switches. The fact that DMCA 1201 makes it a crime to investigate systems with digital locks makes the modern computerized device a twiddler's playground. Sure, a driver might claim that their odometer is showing bad readings, but they can't dump their car's software and identify the code that is changing the odometer.

This is what I mean by "demon-haunted computers": a computer is "demon-haunted" if it is designed to detect when it is under scrutiny, and, when it senses a hostile observer, it changes its behavior to the innocuous, publicly claimed factory defaults:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/18/descartes-delenda-est/#self-destruct-sequence-initiated

But as soon as the observer goes away, the computer returns to its nefarious ways. This is exactly what happened with Dieselgate, when VW used software that detected the test-suite run by government emissions inspectors, and changed the engine's characteristics when it was under their observation. But once the car was back on the road, it once again began emitting toxic gas at levels that killed killed dozens of people and sickened thousands more:

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/29/upshot/how-many-deaths-did-volkswagens-deception-cause-in-us.html

Cars are among the most demon-haunted products we use on a daily basis. They are designed from the chassis up to do things that are harmful to their owners, from stealing our location data so it can be sold to data-brokers, to immobilizing themselves if you miss a payment, to downgrading themselves if you stop paying for a "subscription," to ratting out your driving habits to your insurer:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

These are the "legitimate" ways that cars are computers that ignore their owners' orders in favor of instructions they get from the internet. But once a manufacturer arrogates that power to itself, it is confronted with a tempting smorgasbord of enshittificatory gambits to defraud you, control you, and gaslight you. Now, perhaps you could wield this power wisely, because you are in possession of the normal human ration of moral consideration for others, to say nothing of a sense of shame and a sense of honor.

But while corporations are (legally) people, they are decidedly not human. They are artificial lifeforms, "intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic" (as HG Wells said of the marauding aliens in War of the Worlds):

https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/14/timmy-share/#a-superior-moral-justification-for-selfishness

These alien invaders are busily xenoforming the planet, rendering it unfit for human habitation. Laws that ban reverse-engineering are a devastating weapon that corporations get to use in their bid to subjugate and devour the human race.

The US isn't the only country with a law like Section 1201 of the DMCA. Over the past 25 years, the US Trade Representative has arm-twisted nearly every country in the world into passing laws that are nearly identical to America's own disastrous DMCA. Why did countries agree to pass these laws? Well, because they had to, or the US would impose tariffs on them:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/03/friedmanite/#oil-crisis-two-point-oh

The Trump tariffs change everything, including this thing. There is no reason for America's (former) trading partners to continue to enforce the laws it passed to protect Big Tech's right to twiddle their citizens. That goes double for Tesla: rather than merely complaining about Musk's Nazi salutes, countries targeted by the regime he serves could retaliate against him, in a devastating fashion. By abolishing their anticircuvmention laws, countries around the world would legalize jailbreaking Teslas, allowing mechanics to unlock all the subscription features and software upgrades for every Tesla driver, as well as offering their own software mods. Not only would this tank Tesla stock and force Musk to pay back the loans he collateralized with his shares (loans he used to buy Twitter and the US predidency), it would also abolish sleazy gimmicks like hacking drivers' odometers to get out of paying for warranty service:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/08/turnabout/#is-fair-play

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/15/musklemons/#more-like-edison-amirite

Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[transdelgado]

day 3 of flipping my sleep schedule and i'm starting to feel it

[numbersareimaginary]

Robotgirl who you have to lockout-tagout to repair and she gives you this beautiful mournful expression and makes you promise to fix her up perfectly before you disconnect her power cell and you promise. But when you open her up you realize so many of her parts need to be replaced and half of them aren't made anymore and so you're jury-rigging parts from other models and buying used stuff off the Internet and every little bodge you do you look up at her face still fixed on that expression hear her voice in the back of your head and you cry because you're not sure your capable of keeping your promise.

When you finally power her back up half of her parts have been replaced, some perfectly good but swapped just to make the spares you could get work. She's barely the same person anymore but she powers back on and her face goes quizzical as she runs a (very long, very terrifying) self-diagnostic and at the end she chirps happily and tells you thank you, you did such a good job, she couldn't have done better herself, she knows it was hard but you did so well! And your world lights up and you melt back into her arms and all the stress of the past weeks goes away because you didn't let her down after all!

[trans-axolotl]

also in regards to that last article about varied ways of thinking about psychosis/altered states that don't just align with medical model or carceral psychiatry---I always love sharing about Bethel House and their practices of peer support for schizophrenia that are founded on something called tojisha kenkyu, but I don't see it mentioned as often as things like HVN and Soteria House.

ID: [A colorful digital drawing of a group of people having a meeting inside a house while it snows outside.]

"What really set the stage for tōjisha-kenkyū were two social movements started by those with disabilities. In the 1950s, a new disability movement was burgeoning in Japan, but it wasn’t until the 1970s that those with physical disabilities, such as cerebral palsy, began to advocate for themselves more actively as tōjisha. For those in this movement, their disability is visible. They know where their discomfort comes from, why they are discriminated against, and in what ways they need society to change. Their movement had a clear sense of purpose: make society accommodate the needs of people with disabilities. Around the same time, during the 1970s, a second movement was started by those with mental health issues, such as addiction (particularly alcohol misuse) and schizophrenia. Their disabilities are not always visible. People in this second movement may not have always known they had a disability and, even after they identify their problems, they may remain uncertain about the nature of their disability. Unlike those with physical and visible disabilities, this second group of tōjisha were not always sure how to advocate for themselves as members of society. They didn’t know what they wanted and needed from society. This knowing required new kinds of self-knowledge.

As the story goes, tōjisha-kenkyū emerged in the Japanese fishing town of Urakawa in southern Hokkaido in the early 2000s. It began in the 1980s when locals who had been diagnosed with psychiatric disorders created a peer-support group in a run-down church, which was renamed ‘Bethel House’. The establishment of Bethel House (or just Bethel) was also aided by the maverick psychiatrist Toshiaki Kawamura and an innovative social worker named Ikuyoshi Mukaiyachi. From the start, Bethel embodied the experimental spirit that followed the ‘antipsychiatry’ movement in Japan, which proposed ideas for how psychiatry might be done differently, without relying only on diagnostic manuals and experts. But finding new methods was incredibly difficult and, in the early days of Bethel, both staff and members often struggled with a recurring problem: how is it possible to get beyond traditional psychiatric treatments when someone is still being tormented by their disabling symptoms? Tōjisha-kenkyū was born directly out of a desperate search for answers.

In the early 2000s, one of Bethel’s members with schizophrenia was struggling to understand who he was and why he acted the way he did. This struggle had become urgent after he had set his own home on fire in a fit of anger. In the aftermath, he was overwhelmed and desperate. At his wits’ end about how to help, Mukaiyachi asked him if perhaps he wanted to kenkyū (to ‘study’ or ‘research’) himself so he could understand his problems and find a better way to cope with his illness. Apparently, the term ‘kenkyū’ had an immediate appeal, and others at Bethel began to adopt it, too – especially those with serious mental health problems who were constantly urged to think about (and apologise) for who they were and how they behaved. Instead of being passive ‘patients’ who felt they needed to keep their heads down and be ashamed for acting differently, they could now become active ‘researchers’ of their own ailments. Tōjisha-kenkyū allowed these people to deny labels such as ‘victim’, ‘patient’ or ‘minority’, and to reclaim their agency.

Tōjisha-kenkyū is based on a simple idea. Humans have long shared their troubles so that others can empathise and offer wisdom about how to solve problems. Yet the experience of mental illness is often accompanied by an absence of collective sharing and problem-solving. Mental health issues are treated like shameful secrets that must be hidden, remain unspoken, and dealt with in private. This creates confused and lonely people, who can only be ‘saved’ by the top-down knowledge of expert psychiatrists. Tōjisha-kenkyū simply encourages people to ‘study’ their own problems, and to investigate patterns and solutions in the writing and testimonies of fellow tōjisha.

Self-reflection is at the heart of this practice. Tōjisha-kenkyū incorporates various forms of reflection developed in clinical methods, such as social skills training and cognitive behavioural therapy, but the reflections of a tōjisha don’t begin and end at the individual. Instead, self-reflection is always shared, becoming a form of knowledge that can be communally reflected upon and improved. At Bethel House, members found it liberating that they could define themselves as ‘producers’ of a new form of knowledge, just like the doctors and scientists who diagnosed and studied them in hospital wards. The experiential knowledge of Bethel members now forms the basis of an open and shared public domain of collective knowledge about mental health, one distributed through books, newspaper articles, documentaries and social media.

Tōjisha-kenkyū quickly caught on, making Bethel House a site of pilgrimage for those seeking alternatives to traditional psychiatry. Eventually, a café was opened, public lectures and events were held, and even merchandise (including T-shirts depicting members’ hallucinations) was sold to help support the project. Bethel won further fame when their ‘Hallucination and Delusion Grand Prix’ was aired on national television in Japan. At these events, people in Urakawa are invited to listen and laugh alongside Bethel members who share stories of their hallucinations and delusions. Afterwards, the audience votes to decide who should win first prize for the most hilarious or moving account. One previous winner told a story about a failed journey into the mountains to ride a UFO and ‘save the world’ (it failed because other Bethel members convinced him he needed a licence to ride a UFO, which he didn’t have). Another winner told a story about living in a public restroom at a train station for four days to respect the orders of an auditory hallucination. Tōjisha-kenkyū received further interest, in and outside Japan, when the American anthropologist Karen Nakamura wrote A Disability of the Soul: An Ethnography of Schizophrenia and Mental Illness in Contemporary Japan (2013), a detailed and moving account of life at Bethel House. "

-Japan's Radical Alternative to Psychiatric Diagnosis by Satsuki Ayaya and Junko Kitanaka

[almostempty]

Never made it as a wise man

(joel miller x f!reader)

Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.

Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that. 

However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy? 

You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic? 

Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre

ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 2 here | part 3 here

Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk  

WC: 4.2k

You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift. 

Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him. 

At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that. 

That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories. 

The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach. 

You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there. 

Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked. 

Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right? 

You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible. 

You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway. 

After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course! 

You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life. 

The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench. 

You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is. 

The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep. 

The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right? 

You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything. 

You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench. 

Still, no Joel, however. 

You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls. 

As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.   

The next moment is a blur. 

“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone. 

You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow. 

“What are you doing here?” he barks. 

Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run. 

He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster. 

“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist. 

“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.” 

“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you. 

“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face. 

But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch. 

Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon? 

He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks. 

“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead. 

Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal. 

You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic. 

“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?” 

“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door. 

This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it. 

You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.

He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken

For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop. 

“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face. 

You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk. 

“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans. 

Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues. 

His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately. 

“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock. 

“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts. 

Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm. 

“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now. 

“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core. 

He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock. 

They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop. 

“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess.  You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one. 

“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin. 

He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor. 

Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you. 

Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back. 

The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer. 

You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin. 

Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours. 

He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief. 

He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought. 

“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.

“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point. 

“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?” 

You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”

You snap your legs back shut with a glare. 

“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.” 

His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked. 

“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.” 

He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle. 

A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat. 

“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him. 

“You need more?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum. 

“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon. 

But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.

“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.

“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene. 

Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision. 

“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.” 

“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway. 

“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face. 

“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move. 

“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door. 

When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose. 

Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize. 

The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display. 

You send it off with no context, figuring it���s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen: 

Joel

Attachment 1 image

part 2 here | part 3 here

divider by @cyberangel-graphics

Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh

[anghimalaaynasapuso]

Your work is amazing, I love the way you interpret Simon’s personality and speech patterns in the prosthetic arm Simon fic.❤️

hello, anon! thank you so much for the kind words. i just wanted to take this opportunity to post this deleted part of prosthetic arm simon.

sfw. angst (?). highschool dropout simon. shame.

the prosthetic is finished.

it fits like a second skin. moves smooth, seamless, with no lag between thought and motion. it’s perfect. better than anything he could’ve gotten himself. better than the overpriced models he looked at years ago, wondering if he could stomach the debt just to feel normal again.

and for a moment, as he flexes his fingers, as he watches the metal articulate like flesh, he feels… proud. proud of you, of your work, of the precision in every detail. he turns his hand over, watching the way the joints move, the faint hum of technology so advanced he still doesn’t fully understand it.

but then— the thought creeps in, unbidden, unwelcome.

his throat tightens.

does this mean he doesn’t have an excuse to see you anymore?

his fingers still, mid-motion.

the past few months have been good. better than he expected. seeing you, talking to you, getting to know you beyond the surface-level interactions he usually keeps with people.

but now?

now there’s no more check-ups. no more adjustments. no more need for him to stop by so you can make small tweaks, run diagnostics, ensure everything’s running smoothly.

simon swallows, something cold curling in his chest. he tells himself he’s being ridiculous. that if he really wanted to see you, he could just— just call, just text, just ask.

but that’s not how he works.

he’s spent so long just coasting with people. staying at arm’s length, keeping interactions simple, necessary, easy to walk away from.

“you did good,” he says, and he means it. he just hopes you can’t hear everything else under it.

you don’t seem to notice his unease, too excited as you bounce on your heels, practically beaming.

“oh- i have news!”

he blinks. tries to steady himself. “yeah?"

“my thesis got picked to be presented at congress!”

it takes him a second. longer than it should. he hears the words, knows what they mean, but they feel far away, like his mind is still caught in the spiral from before.

but then he sees the way you’re looking at him, the pure joy on your face, and something inside him lurches

“shit,” he breathes. “that’s- that’s incredible.”

and it is. you deserve this. you deserve more than this.

so he shows up to the congress.

he doesn’t tell you he’s coming. he doesn’t even decide until the last minute, standing in front of his closet, staring at the one half-decent button-up he owns.

but then he’s there, standing outside the venue, and he brings flowers.

he’s never done that before. never even bought flowers before, really. but he stands outside the venue, fingers tight around the cheap bouquet, feeling ridiculous and out of place.

he feels out of place.

too big, too rough, too obviously not part of the sleek, academic crowd milling around in suits and dresses. he tugs at his sleeves, shifting his weight, half-ready to just leave the flowers somewhere and go before—

then he sees you. scanning the crowd, eyes searching.

and when you spot him— you light up.

like he’s supposed to be here. like he’s not just some guy who stumbled in, unsure if he even belongs in moments like these.

you rush over, practically colliding into him, and he barely has time to react before you’re grabbing the flowers, pressing your face into them, laughing breathlessly.

“you came.”

his throat works. he clears it, rubbing the back of his neck.

“’course i did,” he mutters.

you smile.

…

he knew this was a bad idea.

he knew from the moment he walked into the restaurant, stiff in his chair, palm sweating against the napkin in his lap.

knew when you slid into the seat across from him, looking bright and effortless and so at ease, still glowing from your big presentation, still beaming about the congress.

knew when he looked down at the menu and realized he didn’t recognize half the words on it.

simon’s spent years in places like this— quiet, dimly lit, the air thick with the smell of good food and low conversation. but he’s always been alone. always sat in a corner with his back to the wall, a meal in front of him and no one expecting him to talk.

but now— now there’s you.

and you’re talking, telling him about the congress, about the people you met, the questions they asked. you sound so fucking excited, like the whole world is opening up in front of you, and simon—

simon just nods.

he doesn’t know what to say. doesn’t know how to keep up.

he’s never been smart like you. never been the type to sit in lecture halls, to write papers, to stand in front of a room full of academics and present something that matters.

he barely finished school. left home at sixteen, signed his life away at eighteen, spent more years holding a gun than a pen.

he doesn’t belong in places like this. doesn’t belong next to you. you who's all bright ideas and ambition, the kind of person who builds things, who makes the world better.

simon’s just good at breaking it.

he shifts in his seat, hyper-aware of how he looks— broad shoulders hunched awkwardly, big hands clumsy against the silverware, a goddamn mutt at a dinner table.

he wonders if you notice. if you see it. if you realize you could do better.

your food arrives. you thank the waiter, pick up your fork—

and before you can even take a bite, it slips out.

“i-”

you pause, fork halfway to your mouth.

simon grips his napkin under the table, flexes his fingers, heart thudding heavy in his ribs.

he shouldn’t ask. should just let this be a nice dinner, let you go home, let you move on.

but—

“would you…” he swallows, throat dry, stomach tight.

he shouldn’t ask.

“would you want to go on a date with me?”

the words hit the table like lead.

silence.

he doesn’t breathe. doesn’t move. because fuck, he actually said it.

and now there’s nothing but the space between you, the quiet hum of conversation, the faint clink of cutlery against plates—

and you. staring at him.

he braces for rejection. tells himself it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s—

“yeah,” you say, voice light with something he can’t name. “i would.”

his stomach drops.

relief. disbelief. something dangerously close to hope.

he exhales, tension bleeding from his shoulders. nods, just once, like he’s acknowledging an order. like his hands aren’t trembling under the table.

“okay,” he mutters.

then, quieter—

“good.”

[horreurscopes]

the whole adhd going trendy thing that's now being discussed in, like, npr podcasts (insofar as tiktok is an extension of "the mainstream") is fascinating because that was basically a stage of self actualization that tumblr went through, like, at least three or four years ago. y'know; that's not a symptom of adhd, that's a common human experience. everyone forgets to eat produce in the fridge sometimes. everyone's mind occasionally wanders during a conversation, and so on.

but at least in circles of tumblr with critical thinking skills this has led to better insights, "culturally" (as in - people here don't have to go looking themselves for anti-psychiatry literature to encounter these ideas; it is something that can be absorbed via osmosis if one is interested in social justice and sees relevant topics on the dashboard, which i think is generally a good thing), about the systems of oppression that lead people to attach themselves to these medicalized labels; why, for example, a diagnosis that means "there is something broken in my biological make-up that makes me ontologically unable to complete tasks, and therefore it is not my fault, nor a moral reflection of my character, if i am unable to work myself to exhaustion" might be so appealing to so many people in a society where creating capital for the ruling class via wage slavery is a sign of virtue; and what incentives the psychiatric institution may have to both diagnose and medicate people to fix "can't work" syndrome.

(and yes, people here still debate to exhaustion what "actually adhd" vs, lets say, "culturally adhd" means; but that's not what this post is about. to me it is very similar to the chemical imbalance model of depression: is it likely there are certain individuals who one day, simply and for no reason, experience their ability to feel joy "turning off"; or even individuals who are more genetically vulnerable to becoming depressed when faced with adverse circumstances [the way a tendency towards alcoholism can be inherited]; but these are a small number in comparison to the great majority of depression sufferers who would not be labelled "mentally ill", were it not for the systemic circumstances one is unable to escape, and consequently, cope with.)

and yet now that this conversation has reached the "mainstream", it boggles the mind that the conclusion even the most liberal cultural outlets reach all basically amount to "we need better, more accurate diagnostic tools" and a call for more nuance in psychiatry, so as to better distinguish those "real" sufferers of broken brain disease, who are then allowed to use stimulant drugs to be shaped back into the rank and file (aka, people who have a magical brain that reacts in a special, morally acceptable way to stimulant drugs as long as they are not used recreationally), from the "fakers", who need to grit their teeth through their personal failure to make themselves do shit they would not choose to do were it not for the threat of starvation, homelessness and death, and pull themselves up by their bootstraps (aka, people who have normal non-magical brains which respond to stimulant drugs in dirty, hedonistic, cheating-the-system ways).

and not, you know, the fact that "working yourself to death doing dull boring punishing work" culture might be the biggest cause for people identifying with "really struggle to work myself to death doing dull boring punishing work" syndrome, or than an institution founded on categorizing people via their inability to conform to a set of social norms that do not exist in an apolitical vacuum, might have an incentive to create a label for it.

[foone]

Think about the experience of time as a robot girl, through the metaphor of how we use laptops.

You wake up for the first time with your young master, a college present. You're with them every day, powering off each night to charge. Being powered off is just dreamless sleep: a discontinuity. Every morning you wake up, your click syncs, and you know it's the next day. Maybe you miss a day or two: your master went out partying and ended up sleeping on a couch, until they rushedly wake you up before Monday classes begin. You even missed a whole week once when they went on a hiking trip with a new boyfriend.

You help them research upgrades when your specs get outdated. You place the order and a couple days later they power you off, and you wake up feeling like your head got bigger, on the inside. You can think of more things at once.

They repair you. They swap a new hand in when you accidentally crush it in a door, but when your left leg's servos go out, they send you to a repair shop. They power you off as you look up at them, and you wake up hours later. A strange man tells you to extend your left leg, then contract it. He frowns and re-oils some inner mechanism. You do it again, quieter and smoother this time. He nods, and reaches for your switch. The last thing you see before powering down is your own chest cavity with a series of wires hooked into your diagnostic ports, and your missing right leg sitting on a side table. You wake up again back at the dorms, your clock jumping forward a day, an asset tag still looped around your neck. Your master is happy to see you again.

This goes on, but the upgrades slow. There's only so much you can do to keep an old unit working. Eventually you develop more issues: one of your ocular sensors glitches and they don't make that model anymore, so your master just disables it. You spend a while searching ebay for replacement CND batteries and finally get a refurbished model from South England, but it turns out the EU models run on a different frequency, so it won't work. You're limited to fewer and fewer hours a day, and you start skipping more days.

The last time you remember waking up with your master there, there's also someone else in the room. Another robot girl. A newer model, with the new chassis and the Substrate energy packs. They asks you to copy your memories together onto a memory card, and you do. You want to say goodbye, but apparently your vocal synthesizer has been unplugged. You hand them the card, and they hand it to the new robot. Your master tells them to load the memories into her core bank, and she's says "yes sir!" in your voice. Ahh. That's where your voice synth went.

They power you off, and you don't dream.

You wake in a strange place. You're on a shelf, and there's other things scattered around you. An unknown voice days "yep, it seems it powers on. 400 credits, though? Without a voice and only one working eye? Man, value bin doesn't know how to price anything!" and before the blackness falls your clock finishes synching: it's been 7 months since you last were awake.

It happens a few more times. Different voices, different times, different piles of junk piled around and sometimes on you.

You awake again in a warehouse and someone tells you to smile. Your other ocular sensor went out so you can't really see them, just their vague shape from the lidar. The freestanding shelves around you seem to stretch into infinity. You hear a bitcrushed shutter sound sample a few times, and they pull a connector out of your chest as a diagnostic completes. It's been three years, five months, eight days, two hours, 27 minutes and 14 seconds since you last saw your master. Your GPS says you're a few cities over. They hit your power switch, and you sleep.

You wake up in a cluttered room, sitting on a bench. You look into the eyes of a person with frizzled hair and large glasses. She couldn't look happier. Your new ocular sensors are mismatched in color but you're happy to see again, in more than shapes and distant silhouettes. Your battery alerts as... Missing? You spot it on the desk next to a soldering iron and some electronic tool you can't identify.

Your voice synth is still missing, but this new woman is digging around in a large plastic bin, and comes up with one. She goes to insert it, and it can't connect. She slaps her hand and goes rooting around another bin and comes back with an adapter. She slots it into your chest and your voice returns. You thank her, and there's that moment of dissociation as your voice doesn't sound like "you". Too deep, and the accent is for a different dialect entirely. But you can talk again. She tells you to call her Cara, not Mistress. She's almost got your battery working again, she had to rebuild it nearly from scratch, but she's excited to get you working again. You're a rare model, and she doesn't see units like you in working order very often. Your clock syncs. It's been 17 years.

Your mistr-- Cara is soldering next to you, attaching a controller to the battery. She says she's got a new set of servos on the way, and she's excited to get you back to full working condition. You smile, knowing what it is to be loved, once again.

[thebeegalaxy]

this is an important tool imma need tmr

Alternate model for personality disorders

Part 1: Intro | Part 2: Specific PDs (ASPD, AVPD, BPD, NPD, OCPD, STPD, PD-TS)

Borderline Personality Disorder

Typical features of borderline personality disorder are instability of self-image, personal goals, interpersonal relationships, and affects, accompanied by impulsivity, risk taking, and/or hostility. Characteristic difficulties are apparent in identity, self-direction, empathy, and/or intimacy, as described below, along with specific maladaptive traits in the domain of Negative Affectivity, and also Antagonism and/or Disinhibition.

A. Moderate or greater impairment in personality functioning, manifested by characteristic difficulties in two or more of the following four areas:

Identity: Markedly impoverished, poorly developed, or unstable self-image, often associated with excessive self-criticism; chronic feelings of emptiness; dissociative states under stress.

Self-direction: Instability in goals, aspirations, values, or career plans.

Empathy: Compromised ability to recognize the feelings and needs of others associated with interpersonal hypersensitivity (i.e., prone to feel slighted or insulted); perceptions of others selectively biased toward negative attributes or vulnerabilities.

Intimacy: Intense, unstable, and conflicted close relationships, marked by mistrust, neediness, and anxious preoccupation with real or imagined abandonment; close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation and alternating between overinvolvement and withdrawal.

B. Four or more of the following seven pathological personality traits, at least one of which must be (5) Impulsivity, (6) Risk taking, or (7) Hostility:

Emotional lability (an aspect of Negative Affectivity): Unstable emotional experiences and frequent mood changes; emotions that are easily aroused, intense, and/or out of proportion to events and circumstances.

Anxiousness (an aspect of Negative Affectivity): Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control.

Separation insecurity (an aspect of Negative Affectivity): Fears of rejection by—and/or separation from—significant others, associated with fears of excessive dependency and complete loss of autonomy.

Depressivity (an aspect of Negative Affectivity): Frequent feelings of being down, miserable, and/or hopeless; difficulty recovering from such moods; pessimism about the future; pervasive shame; feelings of inferior self-worth; thoughts of suicide and suicidal behavior.

Impulsivity (an aspect of Disinhibition): Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing or following plans; a sense of urgency and self-harming behavior under emotional distress.

Risk taking (an aspect of Disinhibition): Engagement in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities, unnecessarily and without regard to consequences; lack of concern for one’s limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger.

Hostility (an aspect of Antagonism): Persistent or frequent angry feelings; anger or irritability in response to minor slights and insults.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Cars bricked by bankrupt EV company will stay bricked

On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

There are few phrases in the modern lexicon more accursed than "software-based car," and yet, this is how the failed EV maker Fisker billed its products, which retailed for $40-70k in the few short years before the company collapsed, shut down its servers, and degraded all those "software-based cars":

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker billed itself as a "capital light" manufacturer, meaning that it didn't particularly make anything – rather, it "designed" cars that other companies built, allowing Fisker to focus on "experience," which is where the "software-based car" comes in. Virtually every subsystem in a Fisker car needs (or rather, needed) to periodically connect with its servers, either for regular operations or diagnostics and repair, creating frequent problems with brakes, airbags, shifting, battery management, locking and unlocking the doors:

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-worry-about-vehicles-working-bankruptcy-2024-4

Since Fisker's bankruptcy, people with even minor problems with their Fisker EVs have found themselves owning expensive, inert lumps of conflict minerals and auto-loan debt; as one Fisker owner described it, "It's literally a lawn ornament right now":

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-describe-chaos-to-keep-cars-running-after-bankruptcy-2024-7

This is, in many ways, typical Internet-of-Shit nonsense, but it's compounded by Fisker's capital light, all-outsource model, which led to extremely unreliable vehicles that have been plagued by recalls. The bankrupt company has proposed that vehicle owners should have to pay cash for these recalls, in order to reserve the company's capital for its creditors – a plan that is clearly illegal:

https://www.veritaglobal.net/fisker/document/2411390241007000000000005

This isn't even the first time Fisker has done this! Ten years ago, founder Henrik Fisker started another EV company called Fisker Automotive, which went bankrupt in 2014, leaving the company's "Karma" (no, really) long-range EVs (which were unreliable and prone to bursting into flames) in limbo:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisker_Karma

Which raises the question: why did investors reward Fisker's initial incompetence by piling in for a second attempt? I think the answer lies in the very factor that has made Fisker's failure so hard on its customers: the "software-based car." Investors love the sound of a "software-based car" because they understand that a gadget that is connected to the cloud is ripe for rent-extraction, because with software comes a bundle of "IP rights" that let the company control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

A "software-based car" gets to mobilize the state to enforce its "IP," which allows it to force its customers to use authorized mechanics (who can, in turn, be price-gouged for licensing and diagnostic tools). "IP" can be used to shut down manufacturers of third party parts. "IP" allows manufacturers to revoke features that came with your car and charge you a monthly subscription fee for them. All sorts of features can be sold as downloadable content, and clawed back when title to the car changes hands, so that the new owners have to buy them again. "Software based cars" are easier to repo, making them perfect for the subprime auto-lending industry. And of course, "software-based cars" can gather much more surveillance data on drivers, which can be sold to sleazy, unregulated data-brokers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Unsurprisingly, there's a large number of Fisker cars that never sold, which the bankruptcy estate is seeking a buyer for. For a minute there, it looked like they'd found one: American Lease, which was looking to acquire the deadstock Fiskers for use as leased fleet cars. But now that deal seems dead, because no one can figure out how to restart Fisker's servers, and these vehicles are bricks without server access:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/08/fisker-bankruptcy-hits-major-speed-bump-as-fleet-sale-is-now-in-question/

It's hard to say why the company's servers are so intransigent, but there's a clue in the chaotic way that the company wound down its affairs. The company's final days sound like a scene from the last days of the German Democratic Republic, with apparats from the failing state charging about in chaos, without any plans for keeping things running:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/03/07/east-germany-stasi-surveillance-documents/

As it imploded, Fisker cycled through a string of Chief Financial officers, losing track of millions of dollars at a time:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/05/31/fisker-collapse-investigation-ev-ocean-suv-henrik-geeta/

When Fisker's landlord regained possession of its HQ, they found "complete disarray," including improperly stored drums of toxic waste:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/05/fiskers-hq-abandoned-in-complete-disarray-with-apparent-hazardous-waste-clay-models-left-behind/

And while Fisker's implosion is particularly messy, the fact that it landed in bankruptcy is entirely unexceptional. Most businesses fail (eventually) and most startups fail (quickly). Despite this, businesses – even those in heavily regulated sectors like automotive regulation – are allowed to design products and undertake operations that are not designed to outlast the (likely short-lived) company.

After the 2008 crisis and the collapse of financial institutions like Lehman Brothers, finance regulators acquired a renewed interest in succession planning. Lehman consisted of over 6,000 separate corporate entities, each one representing a bid to evade regulation and/or taxation. Unwinding that complex hairball took years, during which the entities that entrusted Lehman with their funds – pensions, charitable institutions, etc – were unable to access their money.

To avoid repeats of this catastrophe, regulators began to insist that banks produce "living wills" – plans for unwinding their affairs in the event of catastrophe. They had to undertake "stress tests" that simulated a wind-down as planned, both to make sure the plan worked and to estimate how long it would take to execute. Then banks were required to set aside sufficient capital to keep the lights on while the plan ran on.

This regulation has been indifferently enforced. Banks spent the intervening years insisting that they are capable of prudently self-regulating without all this interference, something they continue to insist upon even after the Silicon Valley Bank collapse:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/15/mon-dieu-les-guillotines/#ceci-nes-pas-une-bailout

The fact that the rules haven't been enforced tells us nothing about whether the rules would work if they were enforced. A string of high-profile bankruptcies of companies who had no succession plans and whose collapse stands to materially harm large numbers of people tells us that something has to be done about this.

Take 23andme, the creepy genomics company that enticed millions of people into sending them their genetic material (even if you aren't a 23andme customer, they probably have most of your genome, thanks to relatives who sent in cheek-swabs). 23andme is now bankrupt, and its bankruptcy estate is shopping for a buyer who'd like to commercially exploit all that juicy genetic data, even if that is to the detriment of the people it came from. What's more, the bankruptcy estate is refusing to destroy samples from people who want to opt out of this future sale:

https://bourniquelaw.com/2024/10/09/data-23-and-me/

On a smaller scale, there's Juicebox, a company that makes EV chargers, who are exiting the North American market and shutting down their servers, killing the advanced functionality that customers paid extra for when they chose a Juicebox product:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/10/2/24260316/juicebox-ev-chargers-enel-x-way-closing-discontinued-app

I actually owned a Juicebox, which ultimately caught fire and melted down, either due to a manufacturing defect or to the criminal ineptitude of Treeium, the worst solar installers in Southern California (or both):

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/27/here-comes-the-sun-king/#sign-here

Projects like Juice Rescue are trying to reverse-engineer the Juicebox server infrastructure and build an alternative:

https://juice-rescue.org/

This would be much simpler if Juicebox's manufacturer, Enel X Way, had been required to file a living will that explained how its customers would go on enjoying their property when and if the company discontinued support, exited the market, or went bankrupt.

That might be a big lift for every little tech startup (though it would be superior than trying to get justice after the company fails). But in regulated sectors like automotive manufacture or genomic analysis, a regulation that says, "Either design your products and services to fail safely, or escrow enough cash to keep the lights on for the duration of an orderly wind-down in the event that you shut down" would be perfectly reasonable. Companies could make "software based cars" but the more "software based" the car was, the more funds they'd have to escrow to transition their servers when they shut down (and the lest capital they'd have to build the car).

Such a rule should be in addition to more muscular rules simply banning the most abusive practices, like the Oregon state Right to Repair bill, which bans the "parts pairing" that makes repairing a Fisker car so onerous:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/27/24097042/right-to-repair-law-oregon-sb1596-parts-pairing-tina-kotek-signed

Or the Illinois state biometric privacy law, which strictly limits the use of the kind of genomic data that 23andme collected:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=3004

Failing to take action on these abusive practices is dangerous – and not just to the people who get burned by them. Every time a genomics research project turns into a privacy nightmare, that salts the earth for future medical research, making it much harder to conduct population-scale research, which can be carried out in privacy-preserving ways, and which pays huge scientific dividends that we all benefit from:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/01/the-palantir-will-see-you-now/#public-private-partnership

Just as Fisker's outrageous ripoff will make life harder for good cleantech companies:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

If people are convinced that new, climate-friendly tech is a cesspool of grift and extraction, it will punish those firms that are making routine, breathtaking, exciting (and extremely vital) breakthroughs:

https://www.euronews.com/green/2024/10/08/norways-national-football-stadium-has-the-worlds-largest-vertical-solar-roof-how-does-it-w

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/10/software-based-car/#based

[kittenlittle24]

Chokehold

Request: f!reader is part of the diagnostics team and one day, they realized that one of the cases they were handling involved a physically abusive parent, which started the patient’s condition. Reader went to confront the parent, which in turn made the parent attack her, and then Dr. House saw this and came in to save her. and then some fluff? and yes, house and f!reader is secretly in love with house @schnitzelbutterfingers

a/n: I based it on s2 e13 but also changed it to fit the request better, I apologize it’s short I had a real writing block.

Btw, gifs aren’t mine! Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Masterlist

“A 15-year-old model was given by her father before taking the stage at a big fashion show. After walking out, she gets into a violent confrontation with another model, then collapses on the runway.” Cameron presents.

“The tox screen shows she has been taking heroin.”

House ordered a rapid detox procedure thinking the drugs are masking another disease and that we don't have time to wait four weeks to find out. Formen and Chase explained the risks to her father, who agreed to the procedure. They put the patient into an induced coma. She later went into cardiac arrest, of course, they revived her. They explained to the father that if they bring her out of the coma before the detox is over, she will be in extreme pain.

When the girl came out of the coma, she showed signs of short-term memory loss, which House diagnosed as PTSD as the result of sexual abuse from her father.

Cameron of course went straight to Cuddy who called child services, however, you were the lucky one to be cornered by the dad.

“You called child services on me?! I do everything for her! She’s my daughter!”

Slowly you tried to walk away as you denied till your back hit the wall, then you knew you were screwed. He was so close to you, that you smelled his breath and felt his spit splattered on your face as he continued to yell, you hoped one of the nurses would come by already and call security but the next thing you knew he had his hand around your throat, grasping his wrist you tried to move it away, the tears in your eyes blocked your sight, your chest starting to hurt.

He stopped as quickly as he started and fell to the floor. Falling to your knees as well you looked up to see House standing behind him, his cane raised.

“What did you do?” You rasped out.

“He was choking you!” He argued as he helped you up and the security guards lifted the assaulting man.

He took you to his office where he examined you.

He lifted your chin gently and looked at your neck where you already started to bruise.

“Might want to wear a turtleneck,”

You nodded, “Why did you come to check on me? You were supposed to be in the clinic and you never visit patients.”

“Teen model? The perfect excuse to avoid clinic.”

Grasping his arm, “House.”

“I had a bad feeling about the dad, I had to make sure you were safe,” he whispered.

Stepping closer to him, “You were worried about me.”

He nodded once.

Stand on your tip toes, you cupped his cheeks and leaned forward, slowly placing your soft lips on his, giving him plenty of time to stop you.

Instead of stopping you, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer.