#Mostly it’s just a thing that exists solely in my head as an excuse to draw mermaids

[therealsirsticker]

I just realized I never posted all this art for my little mermaid sonic storybook thing… well here it is now lol

[hysteric-for-sterek]

Hindsight

When Stiles decided he was going to marry Lydia Martin, that’s exactly what it was: a decision. What he interpreted as destiny, was mostly just stubbornness. He’d declared, to Scott and to his Dad and to himself, that he was going to marry Lydia Martin, and to go back on that declaration was to admit defeat. And don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t all cool calculations and stubbornness, he did actually love Lydia. The pining and plotting was actually based on genuine feelings, it’s just that… they maybe weren’t as long-term as he’d initially thought. The more they both grew up, grew closer, became friends… well, the less naturally the ten year plan seemed to be at the forefront of his mind. Sometimes he… forgot… to have a crush on her. But, he was busy, alright? His life turned into werewolves and monsters and fear, he could be forgiven for putting his pining on the backburner occasionally.  

The point was… Stiles didn’t really know any different when it came to having feelings for someone. Lydia was his first crush. The way he handled it was all he really knew about such matters.  

Which was probably why he didn’t recognize what was really going on when it came to Derek. Or at least, that’s his excuse and he’s sticking with it. 

So… there may have been signs. But not major, flashing, neon ones, OK?  

Having a dream solely about Derek’s forearms? Dreams are always weird, they don’t mean anything. He once had one about a dancing frog made of toothpaste. Dreams don’t count for anything. 

Derek being the first person he called at the first sign of trouble? That was just practical! Derek had a car, werewolf powers, he actually answered his phone… of course he made sense as the first contact when something supernatural was out to get him. Or when he needed a ride somewhere important. Or when he saw a funny shirt that read “trust me, I’m not a werewolf”. Or when he was hungry. Or tired... Or bored... Whatever.  

Wearing Derek’s clothes? It’s not Stiles’ fault he was always caught off guard out in the woods without enough layers! He gets cold easily! And werewolves run hot! Derek lending him his jackets was not a big deal. It didn’t mean anything other than Derek being considerate of Stiles’ delicate human body being exposed to the elements. So what if Stiles rarely actually returned the jackets and jumpers and shirts and, on one occasion, pajamas (they’re so cozy and comfy omg) and continually wore them to the point of Scott complaining he stunk like Derek all the time? It’s just clothes, stop being ridiculous. 

“What about the bedsharing?” the voice in his head, that sounded a lot like Scott, asked. 

Well that was just sensible. You’re taking that out of context. There was only one bed in the loft and it was late and I didn’t really have anywhere else to go and Derek was insistent that I get some sleep and take his bed and there was no way I was going to make him sleep on the floor like an actual dog when his bed was plenty big enough to share! Come on, we’re two mature people, sharing a bed out of convenience didn’t mean anything! 

“The cuddling probably did.” 

I can’t help what my body does during the night while I’m asleep! 

“Uh huh. What about the fact that this has happened 5 more times since?” 

Shut-up brain-Scott.  

Hindsight is a funny thing. Because it’s not until this very moment, lying in Derek’s bed, with Derek’s arm pulling him flush against him, their legs tangled together and lips gliding together for the first time, that Stiles can see how they got here.  

The pack meeting wrapped up, Scott and Isaac went to work, Erica and Boyd went to see a movie, Lydia and Jackson went to the mall and Stiles stayed back to hang with Derek. They had a healthy debate about the possible existence of mer-people while Derek cooked them steaks and Stiles made a salad. They watched 2 episodes of Supernatural on Stiles’ laptop while laying on Derek’s bed, then got into another debate about whether beheading would really be the only way to kill a vampire. When Stiles had reached over Derek to snatch his phone off the nightstand in order to consult Peter on the matter and settle the debate once and for all, Derek had stopped him by pinning his arm above his head and something in the air just… shifted. Stiles had stared into Derek’s eyes and Derek had just… looked back. And then they were kissing. And Stiles’ hands were in Derek’s hair and Derek’s arms were pulling Stiles closer and… nothing was weird about any of it.  

Stiles had the thought that it wasn’t supposed to feel this normal, that he probably should have been having a slight existential crisis right now, but it just felt… right. Like this was obvious, like they were always going to end up here. 

“Well duh.” 

Shut up Scott-brain! 

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 7)

(Trigger warning for Shawn realizing he's a murderer, I guess?)

They all stand over the body, just… staring.

After a thorough sloshing of their entire everythings, the three had called a cab. Together. Mostly because none of them could stand up without the support of the entire group, but partly because even through their muddled drink-saturated haze they knew they all had to be there when Shawn woke up.

Apparently he did while they were out.

And now there’s a corpse on Shawn’s apartment floor. 

Things had sobered up fast once it had been noticed. The night had been filled with crying (mostly from Gus, but not solely), yelling, delirious laughing over how awful the last few hours were. Only hours, only hours! It hadn’t even been a full night. The sun is still not up yet as they stare at the body with perfect little holes in it’s neck.

Shawn had been a lot cleaner with it than the woman who bit him had been. Maybe he had struggled more than this man had. Maybe she did it on purpose. It doesn’t really matter right now- but it does, doesn’t it? Because Shawn knows which one it was, and he’ll have to live–

He’ll have to exist, with whichever is the truth.

“Who’s going to go check on him?” Jules whispers. None of their eyes leave the body. Shawn did this. Shawn did this. Shawn… did this.

“I will.” Gus and Lassiter say in unison. They look at each other, a little disgusted and more than a little startled at sharing thoughts and words like that. 

“We’ll all go, then.” Jules’s hand hovers by her gun- she and Lassiter haven’t taken them off once since they all got into the car to go to the mansion. That feels like a lifetime ago. It was only hours.

Gus keeps behind Lassiter and Jules and tries to prepare himself for anything– but the tension all three hold is broken by a snore.

Gus pushes out in front of the detectives and is the first to see Shawn laying on the bed, snoring, and Gus hadn’t cleaned up Shawn’s mouth before but he knows that there’s more blood caked in the corners now than there was when everyone left. Shawn snores again, mumbles something in his sleep, and rolls over.

His neck is fine.

Okay, not fine, but better. The holes aren’t holes anymore, just pale pink flesh that’ll probably scar but they’re closed and healed and Shawn is breathing! He’s breathing, he’s snoring, and his skin isn’t ashen anymore it’s alive and he looks alive!

Gus lurches forward to– he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he just knows Shawn is breathing and snoring and looks like himself and even though there’s blood around his mouth and fangs where his canines should be he looks alive!

“Are you crazy?!” Lassiter yanks Gus back behind him and Jules. “We just saw a corpse in his pathetic excuse of a living room and you’re trying to jump in the bed with him?”

“I wasn’t jumping into the bed, Lassie, I was going to wake him up! Look at him, he’s-”

“Full of the blood of some would-be burglar, yeah, I can see that. I should’ve staked him earlier, dammit, now there’s a dead body on our hands and he’s-”

Shawn yawns. Lassiter draws his gun while Jules almost draws hers. Shawn sits up, rubs his eyes, and groans. When he opens his eyes they’re bright red, glowing red, but they widen with shock and his hands shoot up in surrender.

“Lassie, buddy, I don’t know what I did to make this happen but- Jules? Gus?” Shawn’s confusion sounds real, looks real, but there’s still blood on his lips. “What is… oh, wow.” He puts a hand to his head, and then the other, massaging his temples. “I feel like I got hit by a truck… or maybe a bear… something big.”

“Do you feel an unquenchable, unsatisfiable hunger?” Gus pipes up.

“No more than usual… wait, no, yes more than usual. No?” Shawn’s confusion deepens, brows pinching. He stops massaging his temples to simply rest a finger on them, trying to focus. “I don’t… what happened?”

“This could be a trick.” Lassiter keeps his gun drawn.

“Lassie, I’m- I’m serious, man, I don’t… oh, my god, everything… hurts.” They can practically see Shawn’s awareness trickling back to him, like systems flicking on one-by-one in an old computer, processing programs and checking for faults before booting up entirely. He clutches his stomach, and then feels his neck, and then rubs his wrists. Something else clicks for him, and he looks back at the trio, lost. “Why’re you all here?”

“... Shawn, what’s the last thing you remember?” Jules keeps her arm in front of Gus, speaking softly, like Shawn is a feral kitten she’s trying to coax into a box.

“I, uh…” Shawn presses his fingers back to his temples, and then shakes his head. “I-I was on my bike. I don’t… know… why, I don’t- why can’t I-”

“Carlton, I think he’s in shock,” Jules whispers.

“Why is everyone shouting everything, by the way?” Shawn lays back down and puts the pillow he’d been cradling over his ears. “Seriously guys, just- I think I have the hangover to end all hangovers or something.”

“O’Hara-”

“If he doesn’t remember what happened, maybe he didn’t even mean to do… that.”

“Then that’s worse. Spencer’s lack of self-control is already dangerous enough.”

“Guys, seriously, just a little quieter, my head feels like Gus’s mom came at it with the potato masher.”

“We’re whispering as quietly as we can, Shawn.”

“Jules, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your whisper could literally wake the dead.”

A hysterical laugh almost bubbles up out of her, or maybe a sob- she can’t tell which. Maybe it’s actually just all the shots, realizing they’re no longer effective and wanting to make an exit. 

“Shawn, do you remember the case we were on?” Gus whispers so quietly that Jules hears the sound of saliva in his mouth better then the actual words– something she’s witnessed him and Shawn communicate with many times over, and somehow they’re always able to understand what the other is saying, even when it devolves into the most unintelligible babble she’s ever heard.

“We’re on a case?” Shawn’s sounding more and more tired the longer he’s awake. “Is that why we’re all in my apartment? Did I get drugged or something? Someone throw me a bone here, I’m- I feel like I’m flying blind.” There’s a slight tremor in his voice. “I’m not used to this.”

“Creepy mansion, weird cult?”

“Are you describing the case or the last movie we watched together?”

“The last movie we watched together wasn’t a horror, it was the first Star Trek movie.”

“It was? … I’m all jumbled up, Gus.” Shawn pulls the pillow tighter over his head. “I don’t- it’s not there. I can’t even… god, my head really hurts, it won’t stop pound…”

Something in Shawn’s body language shifts, like he’s a marionette and someone just picked up the strings to begin moving him around. There’s a tension, and they see his head move to tilt under the pillow, lips pursed yet parted as something slides into place in his mind.

“... Pounding,” he finishes. “But that’s not…”

He pulls the pillow off his head. His glowing eyes stare right into Gus, sharp and searching. “Gus, say something again- quiet as you can.”

Gus swallows. Shawn twitches backwards a little.

“Okay, I know that doesn’t get that loud, no matter how hungover someone is.”

“Shawn,” Gus whispers so quietly it’s the La Croix of speaking, a tremble to his lip and eyes watering again. “You uh-”

Shawn fumbles with his pockets for a second as Gus can’t seem to get the words out. He finds his phone and freezes as he looks into the screen.

Everyone else, even Lassiter, lean forward to see what Shawn sees.

There is a reflection- and an accurate one.

Shawn just stares at it. His eyes start to twitch a little, and lose focus, and everyone can practically see the desperate whirring of gears in his head as things click together and fall into place.

Shawn puts a hand over his chest, and pales- Jules and Gus have to look away from the sight. Lassiter swallows, but stays ready to act, eyes trained on Shawn.

Shawn reaches up to his mouth and opens it, feeling his teeth. He starts to shake. His hand brushes his lips as it comes down, and he pulls it away, and sees fine flakes of dried blood on his fingertips.

He’s speechless. And it feels wrong. Shawn doesn’t get speechless. Not even when his life depends on it. 

“... Please tell me there’s not a dead guy out in my living room right now.” His voice is small, thin, shaky. It’s wrong, everything about this is wrong, this whole night has been wrong and it keeps getting worse–

“Tell us what happened, Spencer.”

Shawn cradles the pillow to his abdomen again, eyes darting around his room, looking for something and not finding it. “I don’t– I thought I was dreaming, I– oh my god-” He coughs. “No, no no no-”

“Shawn, it’s going to be okay.” Jules steps forward now, even as Lassiter makes a noise at her to not. “You didn’t mean to, right?”

Shawn flounders for an answer, and it’s almost as jarring as seeing him dead. 

“Shawn. You didn’t mean to. Did you?”

“I– I thought I was dreaming. I thought I was… it felt like a smoothie, it just–”

“O’Hara, get back behind me or draw your gun.”

“He’s in shock!” Jules creeps closer, closer, and puts a hand on Shawn’s shoulder. He jolts like she just tased him.

“You’re warm.”

Jules’s eyes water again. “No, Shawn. You’re just very, very cold.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus is writing a list on an old takeout receipt as all three sit on Shawn’s bed, listening to water run in the bathroom. Shawn’s been in there for almost an hour now. He’d gurgled an entire bottle of mouthwash, scrubbed his lips raw, and then his clothes had been tossed out the door and it had slammed shut but even so they could all feel and even see the steam of the hot shower, curling up and out under the bathroom door.

Gus puts the pen to his lips. “Okay, so after he–” Gus swallows, and skips over saying it entirely. “His skin got it’s color back, and he gained back his lucidity, and he has a reflection. Mary said they were daywalkers, so maybe this is all part of that.”

“More importantly, his morals are still intact.” Jules taps the paper. “Which must be just awful to deal with. I can’t even imagine waking up and…”

“Yeah. … What uh…” Gus looks ill. “What do we do about it?”

“The body?” Lassiter looks at Gus with a pinched expression. “He murdered someone, Guster. We have to take him in for it.”

“Carlton-”

“He murdered someone.”

“Well he got murdered first!” Gus’s own words sink in with him and he looks even more ill, which Lassiter didn’t think was possible. “Lassie, he’s not going to do it again.”

“We didn’t think he’d do it once.”

“I can hear you guys!” Shawn’s voice startles all of them, most of all the pain in it. “Please take this conversation somewhere very, very far away! Like Mexico, or the moon!”

“We need to do something, Shawn!”

“GAH!” It sounds like he falls over.

Jules covers her mouth. “Sorry,” she says, this time speaking at a normal volume instead of shouting, against all instincts.

“It’s fine.” Shawn’s voice is strained. “I– I think Lassie is right.”

“Shawn–”

“Jules, I– I killed someone. Not even a bad guy– well, I guess he was kind of a bad guy, but not a really bad bad guy. He didn’t even have a gun on him.”

Gus is getting really sick of these thick, tense silences. He wonders if he should do what he did with the first Yang situation, try to make things light and filled with just stuff. Shawn had asked him to. This feels even less appropriate, though, somehow.

The water shuts off, and Shawn’s hand sticks out of a crack in the door. “Someone give me a towel? And uh, clothes?”

Gus passes them to Shawn, and their hands touch for a moment- Shawn’s skin is warm, but it’s not natural. He’s warm the way a steamed bun is, or a microwaved sandwich, or a slice of gas station pizza left under a hot lamp. He’s not warm like a person. 

He steps out a few moments later. The blood is gone, his clothes are clean, his hair is plastered down to his head and face instead of carefully styled up. He looks vulnerable, if not for the inhuman eyes and fangs.

He’s breathing again- Gus grabs the receipt and adds that. Maybe it’s a natural camouflage? Actually–

“Dude, when we first met those vampires, they looked like normal people.”

Shawn narrows his eyes, clearly trying to draw a memory of it to the surface. “I’ll take your word for it, man.”

“No, Shawn, I mean you can probably do that too.”

“Gus, I appreciate you trying to uh, to figure this out for me, but I–I don’t think it’ll help, man.” He presses his fingers to his temples again. “I can’t even remember why I was… whenever, I don’t– I’m blocked, and if I can’t remember that then– I mean, what if– I thought it was a dream. I think I even snuck up on him just on pure instinct, I mean that’s– what if that happens on a case and it’s one of you guys with me? I break into your apartment all the time, it’s second nature to me man, what if I do that while all…” He waves his hand around his head and whistles.

“If you think I’m not sleeping with cross-covered bedsheets and a bottle of holy water on my nightstand after this, you’ve actually lost it.”

“Fair. … I wonder if those actually work? I guess I did choke when I said oh my go…d?” He coughs again, and this time ash puffs out. “Okay!” He coughs a bit more. “Drawing it out does not help, ow. Yeah, holy water and crosses are a good bet. Ow.”

“Spencer.” Lassiter pulls out his cuffs.

“... Right. Yeah.” Shawn holds his hands out. 

But as soon as Lassiter moves to cuff him, Shawn sucks in a sharp breath and his hands fly to his head. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He’s in a small room, but it’s not a prison cell- he’s watching himself lay on the bed, hands pressed over his ears, gritting his teeth. He can see a sign out the window, his vision zooming in and highlighting it- a mental facility. The image shifts with a small burst of light and a ‘swoosh’ sound, and he sees a brief flash of himself biting down on the neck of another patient. Light, ‘swoosh’, he’s in a real prison cell because of the attack, he’s pressing his hands over his ears again and a guard is making so much noise jangling keys and whistling and he walks past and Shawn gets up and grabs the man by the shirt and looks him in the eye and tells him to Let Him Out.

Shawn blinks it away, gasping a little, but it’s not over and he’s pulled back into shaky ‘camera angles’ and film grain and it’s familiar but it’s usually not this intense!

He’s in the mental facility and he’s begging someone to listen. “I mean it, I’m telling you, this guy did not commit suicide! He was pushed, he knew too much, I can sense it!”

“Mr. Spencer, we know you had a long career with the SBPD as psychic, however-”

“Would you listen to me?” Something about his voice isn’t right- but the nurse shuts her mouth and listens while he shakes a newspaper at her and tells her to call Lassie. How’d he get a newspaper? They just give that to patients? 

Gus is visiting. “You don’t look good, Shawn.”

He doesn’t, but he does. He looks like a really well-preserved dead body with hair gel that has the hold of the god. “Yeah, I uh– I’m kind of losing my mind in here, man. Visions are getting a little crazy. I did kinda get warned it’d happen but… it’s a hell of a lot worse than I thought it’d be.”

“Can I help?”

“Do you feel like investigating murders without me?”

“... Not really.”

“Yeah.”

“Spencer, don’t resist.” Lassie is trying to pry his hands down, but Shawn’s arms are locked, and not even slightly budging. He wants to say something snarky about it, but he’s pulled away again.

The ‘camera’ of his memory zooms in much too close and shakes all around as it focuses in on a face– Shawn knows that face. He can’t connect how, but he does. The man is scowling at him. “Count yourself lucky, buddy. You know what happened to that girl? She went nuts- visions every hour of the day, until one day she got one just after sunrise and ran out the door in a fit. Poof.”

That one feels different, that one feels familiar, that one is-

“I remember something!” Shawn gasps out. He brings his hands down and looks at his right one- there’s two new scars, faint but there, one on his thumb and one on his palm. He sees a flash of a crystal slicing his thumb and then one of the same crystal being jabbed into his palm. His stomach twists– it’s been doing that since he woke up, really, but there’s a new reason now. “Wait, Lassie, I just– I need to talk to Gus for a second first. In private.”

“... Fine. One minute.”

Shawn nods, and then grabs Gus by the arm and pulls him into the bathroom and shuts the door. When he lets go Gus holds his arm with a whimper.

“I didn’t pull that hard, man.”

“Yes, you did!”

“I was being careful!”

“I think I’ve got frostbite now, and a bruise!”

A cold hand clapped over his mouth, his own hand stuck- he thinks his hand and his wrist have frostbite.

“Shawn?” Gus is shaking his shoulder when Shawn blinks out of the memory. 

“Dude.” Shawn lowers his voice. “The vampires were saying I’m actually psychic. For real.”

“Uh, Shawn, I–”

“And then just now, I had– I don’t know, when Lassie went to cuff me I saw something, man!”

“Shawn.”

“I know it seems super impossible that I got turned into a vampire and turned out to be a real actual psychic all at once but–”

“Shawn. I know.”

“Wh– what do you mean, you know?”

“Dude, when we got to that mansion we saw ghosts.”

“Ghosts? Like… like actual, ghosts?”

“Mary Lightly told us we were bad at rescuing! Your grandma helped me carry you outta the basement, Shabby let us know when we were going the wrong way!”

“Shabby? The sea lion?”

“The spirit of everyone who’s murder we’ve ever solved, Shawn. I saw the McCallum kid punch a vampire in the face!”

“Holy– but, wait, I–I remember…” Shawn closes his eyes, sees flashes of the inside of Lassie’s car, sees old wrinkled hands half-transparent holding his. “No way. But then why aren’t they–”

“Mary said it was just temporary because you being undead threw off the balance of the universe or something.”

“... So I actually have been psychic all this time? For–for my entire life? And I just didn’t notice until I got killed?”

“Don’t– don’t say you got killed.” Shawn can hear Gus’s heart rate speed up, and when the blood leaves Gus’s face almost sees it down to the veins. It makes him a little dizzy, and a lot hungry. He swallows.

“So those were probably real, then. … Well that’s bad news.”

“What is?”

“Well, if I’m having actual visions, then that means turning myself over either puts me on a path to going full-on Evil Lonely Vampire Monster–”

Gus takes a step back.

“-- or to losing my mind stuck up in some mental facility plagued with visions. Which would probably also end in me losing my humanity and becoming a horrible murder monster.”

“I’m gonna be sick again.”

“Yeah… I guess this means I have to convince Lassie to not arrest me now. … You think I’d have a better chance of that if I figure out how to hide the eyes and stuff? Maybe convince him I’m just suddenly human again?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Man… the one time I actually agree with him that I should be locked up.”

[koukaaa-descent]

hi hgello who shot banjax? an employee or a nutcracker? was it on purpose? did banjax knowwhat was going on? did they try to escape? were they scared? were they angry? upset after being shot? sorry i have many questions that could end in upset excuse me

HI NEON ,,. I need to make you explode with my mind . ok anyways GO BULLETPOINTS!!

(kind of) info post about banjax,,, I already love he

An employee shot Banjax a few moments before it was able to snap their neck. Its hands were at their shoulders—that's how close it was. The employee was able to jerk away and just out of immediate reach and had enough time to attempt to aim the shotgun at Banjax's general direction, though it was dark and they were understandably terrified. Banjax is not a particularly fast bracken, as it retains a stockier, heavier build in comparison to most other individual brackens. Thus, the employee had enough time to shakily aim and pull the trigger, aiming unknowingly at its head and not at its body. (Likely used to dealing with taller brackens... banjax is a little short, I think. for bracken standards)

It was on purpose. The employee survived the encounter solely because of their reaction time.

Banjax was not able to run or flee. A very large chunk of its head was blown off initially and scattered into ash, while the rest was fragmented and fraying. Only its lower jaw survived the encounter mostly intact. The shock of the shotgun's firing and the violent loss of a majority of its head made it essentially 'stall' mentally.

It immediately fell unconscious, for lack of better words. The employee immediately fleed rather than fuck around and find out, not even attempting to make sure that Banjax was dead.

Banjax did understand what was happening; it is old enough to have developed a measure of sapience (about a decade old). It was afraid because it understood what the shotgun did. It has lingered around nutcrackers often enough to know exactly how lethal they were. (Something to note; it still holds a great fascination with nutcrackers, even after being blinded. The sounds they make are a great comfort to Banjax; it understands the nutcrackers to be trustworthy allies it can hunt with and linger around regardless of the particular individual nutcracker.)

Regarding whether or not it was upset after the fact; it was not. Banjax was busy with attempting to figure out how to navigate again. It was just an incident during a hunt; a fairly normal thing. Rather than get angry or displeased, it simply just settled with it and began to adjust once it healed enough to begin moving. While Banjax is fairly intelligent, it holds little to no idea of emotion. That would only develop if it, per se, spent a long time with an individual creature and created bonds. (May or may not be thinking of making a nutcracker oc for this sole purpose,)

you're a very good friend . Btw. JUMPSCARE!!

A VERY GOOD FRIEND!!! I appreciate your existence deeply!!!!!!!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[oneirataxiahiraeth]

Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.

Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO

Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker

Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read

Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah

Word Count : 7k

Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.

Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.

"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"

"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.

He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.

"It was an accident!"

"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"

"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.

"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.

"I've changed, Bonnie!"

"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.

"That's-"

"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.

"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.

"Bullshit! You're just using her-"

"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.

"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"

"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"

"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."

It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.

Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.

"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.

She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.

"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.

"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.

"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.

"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.

"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.

Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.

"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.

"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.

"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.

"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.

All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.

"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?

You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?

Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.

"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.

"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.

"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."

"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.

"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."

"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.

"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.

Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.

Well... it sort of worked.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.

"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.

"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.

"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.

"What? Why?"

"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.

"What?"

"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"

"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."

"It's none of your business."

"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."

"Leave it alone."

"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.

He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.

"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.

"What're talking about?"

"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.

"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"

"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?

"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"

"And you helped me get her back!"

"I tortured your best friend!"

"You wouldn't be the first-"

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"

"Kai stop-"

"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."

You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.

"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"

"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"

"Do you?!"

"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"

"No you don't-"

"I'm br-"

"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Kiss me."

"No,"

"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"

"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"

You remained silent.

"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.

You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.

His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.

He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.

Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.

"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.

Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.

You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.

"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.

"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.

"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"

"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.

"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.

You didn't speak.

You couldn't.

Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.

Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.

Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?

You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.

You had other plans.

You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.

"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"

"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.

"This is going to make it a lot harder-"

"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.

"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.

It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.

   He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.

  You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.

  You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?

  "Don't leave me, Kai."

"Y/N-"

   "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.

  He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.

"You saw what I did-"

"And you saw how much I love you-"

  "You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"

  "And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."

  You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.

  "I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.

  "Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.

  At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.

  He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.

   Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.

   "Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"

  "No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.

  "Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"

  "Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.

  "I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.

"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.

You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all. 

   "Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.

“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.

You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.

“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.

Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.

You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.

You were his and that was final.

“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.

You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.

“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.

You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.

“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.

“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.

“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.

You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.

Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.

“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.

“Deal.”

[ursaminortarot]

I’m really fixated on romance right now for some reason, so here we are with a soulmate reading. I’m of the belief that we don’t just have romantic soulmates but platonic and familial ones as well. However, for this reading, I am choosing to focus solely on romance.

I’m experimenting with a new format. I linked each of the readings to a google doc, this is mostly because they ended up being way longer than I’d anticipated (story of my life). I also thought that it might be more organized to do it this way. I’d appreciate feedback on whether or not I should keep doing it.

Piles to choose from:

Pile 1 - Cobra

Pile 2 - Fish

Pile 3 - Cheetah

Pile 4 - Zebra

Pile 5 - Hawk

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[Decks Used: Modern Witch Tarot, Wild Unknown Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirit oracle, Tarot Cats, standard playing cards, and a homemade oracle deck]

This took me 10-11 hours to do, spread out across 3 days. So, if you can support my shop or donate I’d be grateful. Also, please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes and small incoherencies, by the time I got around to editing the readings I was kind of over it.

My Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrsaMinorTarot

CashApp: @UrsaMinorTarot

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Pile 1: Cobra

Who They Are:

Queen of Wands, 9 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, King of Clubs

10 of Cups, 7 of Cups r, Justice r, 5 of Hearts

7 of Cups r, 9 of Pentacles r, 6 of Wands, 9 of Diamonds

Death r, 7 of Wands r, 8 of Wands r, Ace of Spades

The High Priestess, The Fool, The Hanged Man r, Ace of Hearts

Mother of Cups r

Winter+New Love

I’m getting some self-made energy here, they are likely a very hard worker who puts in a lot of time and energy. Their success, while appreciated, makes them feel very alone. There’s a lot of wands energy here, so they are generous with their money and it’s possible that other people take advantage of that. The Mother of Cups reversed reinforces this idea as she brings the message: “you give too much of yourself to others”.

The High Priestess, Fool, and Hanged Man being pulled together makes me think they function in two very different ways. Either, they overthink literally everything to the point of never making a decision, or they just do things very impulsively without a second thought.

They want a big, happy family, whatever that means to them. It could involve having children or just having a lot of pets. However, due to past relationships, they no longer feel as though they could trust anyone enough to live out that dream. 

They feel disillusioned with love, which gives them a lot of conflicting emotions. Because, again, there’s a lot of wands energy, so they’re a very passionate person. Their current belief that love isn’t real is a direct contradiction to who they are at their core. Winter and new love could be taken literally, like you’ll meet and fall in love with them in the winter. Or, if you wanted to look deeper at it, it could mean that you help them get out of this place of being unable to consider love.

How You Can Recognize Them:

8 of Cups r, Son of Wands, 7 of Wands r, King of Diamonds

5 of Pentacles, Father of Cups, 3 of Swords, Jack of Hearts

The Devil r, The Fool, The Devil, 2 of Spades

10 of Pentacles, The High Priestess r, Queen of Hearts

The Hermit, 7 of Pentacles r, 10 of Cups r, 7 of Diamonds

Hanged man, 4 of Cups r, 10 of Diamonds r

“You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions”

“You’re not seeing clearly”

Ex

This person has an unmistakable light about them. Being with them is like sitting outside on a nice day soaking up the sun. However, they are still holding on to the past, and this is to their detriment. When you meet them, if you haven’t already, they will be extremely hung up on their ex. They are going to be obsessing over what went wrong and whether or not they can fix it. I can’t tell if they want to fix it to get back together with their ex, because they think it will give them closure, or because they think it will help them avoid making the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, they also don’t actually want to fix anything because that would mean confronting their emotions and they would really rather not. They will likely seem to be existing outside of reality, they are going to be so distracted by this internal conflict that they aren’t going to notice the world around them.  

In all honesty, they will be very difficult for you to recognize. You’ll probably notice them because of their light, but you won’t (and shouldn’t) consider them a potential partner - at least not until they’ve dealt with their issues and moved on. I want to stress that while they are so focused on their past relationship(s), that’s not all they have going on. They are a 3 dimensional human being like the rest of us, but this is just the information I was able to get.

I also want to mention that their family is very important to them, they’re the type of person to call or text each member of their immediate family every day. I also get the impression that you two will be friends for a while before getting into a relationship. 

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Pile 2: Fish

Who They Are:

Queen of Swords, 9 of Wands, 9 of Cups r, The Tower r, Jack of Spades

King of Swords, Daughter of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Diamonds

Judgment r, 2 of Cups r, Daughter of Swords r, The Chariot r, 3 of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Temperance, 7 of Wands, Jack of Hearts

The Emperor, 8 of Pentacles, The Magician r, Ace of Wands, 4 of Spades

“I’m sorry”

Best friends 

Between the Emperor and having all of the court cards of the Swords suit, this person has a very powerful presence. They’re almost the kind of person that makes people stop and stare, I say almost because they’re intimidating and people don’t want to be caught staring. Not intimidating in a scary way, they just - and I can’t stress this enough - exude power. They are also very ambitious and highly intelligent. So when they put their mind to something, they will execute it perfectly. Or, at least, they want people to think it was done perfectly. They have a very “everything’s under control” look to them, but they’re barely hanging on by a thread. I feel like one bad day would send them into an existential spiral, because they don’t know who they are if they’re not perfect. 

Nothing’s ever come easily to them and they’ve had to fight their whole life to get the things that they have now. They’ve never had the option of giving up. If they gave up, they were worthless, they were nothing - that’s how they’ve always seen it. I imagine there’s a lot of parental pressure at play here. It’s turned them into a workaholic, there’s no work-life balance to be found. I’m getting the impression that the “I’m sorry” card has to do with this aspect of their life. 

The “best friends” card speaks for itself. With the Jack of Hearts and Daughter of Wands, there’s a playful energy to them. But these are the only cards pointing this out, which tells me that they restrain this part of themself. I think that you being their friend, as well as their partner, will show them that they don’t need to be so serious all the time. This is something buried so deep it’ll need some time and energy to be coaxed out of them.  

This is pretty obvious, but this person’s biggest fear is failure.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Knight of Wands r, 4 of Wands r, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords

King of Pentacles, The Moon r, 7 of Swords r, Queen of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Mother of Swords, Queen of Wands, 4 of Hearts

Queen of Cups, Daughter of Swords r, Knight of Wands

7 of Cups r, Son of Swords, 4 of Pentacle, 5 of Diamonds

The World r, 9 of Wands r, 8 of Hearts r

You feel as if you aren’t getting the recognition you deserve

Seperation

We’re definitely seeing their more sensitive, playful aspects. However, these are still vastly overpowered by their Swords energy as, once again, all the court cards are out - the Queen’s out twice. Seriously, this person has such powerful energy that it’s the first thing you notice.

I feel like you’ll meet either at work or at school, somewhere where you’re working on a group project together. The people you’re working with aren’t going to take your contributions seriously. But, once they realize you’re right, they’ll claim they were  their ideas all along. The Swords family is very fair-minded, so I think this person’s going to have a problem with that.  

They have this very detached, uninterested persona and once you’ve spent time around your soulmate, you’re going to pick up on the fact that they are deeper than they want people to think they are. When they’re more comfortable with you, which will take some time, you might catch glimpses of them being competitive/hot-headed or they’ll start making jokes around you. If you’re patient enough, they’ll eventually be vulnerable with you.

They have a fear of the unknown and love is foreign to them, so this is definitely a slow-burn. 

In both of these readings I got a wave of pretty interesting energy. It wasn’t anxiety or dizziness, but felt similar to both. I felt like I lost my balance, that’s probably how you'll make this person feel. They have a lot of plans for life and you’re not one of them, so they’ll be thrown for a loop. 

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Pile 3: Cheetah:

Who They Are:

Page of Swords r, Son of Cups, The Hierophant, 9 of Clubs

Page of Wands, Mother of Wands r, Page of Cups r, 4 of Hearts

9 of Cups, The Tower, 2 of Swords, 2 of Cups, Ace of Clubs

Queen of Wands r, The Chariot r, Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Spades

Knight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Emperor r,  6 of Clubs

8 of Cups, King of Wands

You can’t help everyone

Over-investment in work

Aries

The first thing that I’m seeing is that this person will probably have some self-esteem issues. It seems to be tied to their abilities more so than appearance.

They have a lot of ideas for projects that they want to work on, but they never seem to start anything, let alone finish. I think this is because they try to be everything to everyone and don’t prioritize themself. They find contentment in the idea that everybody likes them, but this can make them a people pleaser. This can lead to them taking on long hours at work to make their boss happy. It’s also unrealistic because there’s not a person on Earth that’s universally liked. I think this is something they’ll come to realize in their own time.

They may come across as indecisive at times, they aren’t. They always know exactly what they want, but can have a hard time asserting themself. 

There’s a fire that burns bright here, this person has a lot of drive and ambition. This is where that aries energy comes in, they don’t have to have aries placements so please don’t get fixated on that. But, like I said before, they hold themself back by prioritizing other people and neglecting their own needs. They have the potential to be really successful, however they need to start putting themself first. 

This seems like a very sensitive individual, just the thought of doing something under-handed stresses them out. Which is a good thing for other people, because your soulmate’s very charming and could probably talk themself out of anything.

For some reason I get the impression that they have a bit of a sweet tooth.

How You Can Recognize Them:

2 of Swords r, The Empress, Queen of Cups, 3 of Hearts

9 of Pentacles r, Judgment r, The Moon, 10 of Spades

The Fool, Mother of Wands r, Hierophant r, Jack of Diamonds

The Chariot r, The Hermit, 4 of Wands, Joker B&W r

3 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands r, Knight of Wands, 4 of Spades

King of Cups r, The Magician r

You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions

September

Think before you speak

Let’s start with the reinforcements of their self-esteem issues, as well as their people pleasing tendencies. It’s exhausting for them, emotionally and physically. They are well and truly holding themself back, and I think that by the time you meet them they’ll be starting to examine these aspects of themself. This will be something they struggle with for a while and there may be a period of time where they withdraw to think things through.  

The joker in black and white in standard decks is my fool reversed card, but it’s reversed so its the fool reversed reversed. The fool upright, I feel like there could have been a simpler way for my cards to get that message to me. But I also feel like it represents the way your person talks to themself, they make everything just a little bit more complicated than it needs to be. They think in circles, eventually getting to the point but it may take them a while. This may be a contributing factor to their perceived indecisiveness. 

 They want to make a home with you. I get the impression that when talking about it with you, they’ll appear to be cool and collected. Like it’s not a big deal to them. But then they’ll turn around and shout it from the rooftops. It won’t be possible for people to not know you’re together, they’ll just be so loud about it. 

Outside of the need to make everybody like them, they’re a pretty care-free individual. It will be important to them that you have fun together. I think this playfulness is their most defining feature and probably the first thing people notice about them.  

In the first two piles, it looked like they’d be friends for a while before getting into a relationship with their person. That’s not the case here, like I said before, when this person knows, they know. They’re not going to waste time with you.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 4: Zebra

Who They Are:

The Fool, The Hanged Man,  Queen of Swords, Ace of Clubs

6 of Swords r, 2 of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Hearts

Ace of Cups, Mother of Pentacles r, 4 of Wands, Jack of Spades,

3 of Swords r, The Magician, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups r, Jack of Diamonds

3 of Cups, The High Priestess, Strength, The Fool r, King of Spades

Soulmate 

Hostile

May

The first thing I’m picking up on is that your soulmate is someone who is very carefree. They also have a lot of romantic energy to them, so they are definitely a hopeless romantic.

The amount of Major Arcana here tells me that this person is likely very spiritually gifted, they might not be consciously aware of this.

This person is kind of a go-getter. Once they decide they want something, nothing’s getting in their way.

There are some conflicting energies here because as happy and carefree as they are, there’s an equal amount of pain and hardship. This is someone who’s faced a lot of hostility, so at first will be fairly guarded. They love the idea of being in love, but have difficulties opening themself up to the reality of love. It’s not all bad, they are making an active effort to heal and not let past heartbreak hold them back.

With the Magician and High Priestess facing each other, this is someone who is likely very in touch with their spirituality. Not only are they able to  trust their intuition, but they also have everything that they need to follow it. Once they have a gut feeling about something, whatever it is, they will trust it more than they’ll trust you, and be right 90% of the time.

 They are very compassionate and probably are used to giving more than they take, which gets them taken advantage of. Part of their growth is going to be finding a balance in this aspect of their life. 

This is someone who values family and most likely wants some kind of family unit, whether that be having children or pets. 

The month of May might be important, it could be when you meet or one of you could be a Taurus or a Gemini.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Ace of Cups, 3 of Pentacles r, 8 of Wands, 2 of Swords

Page of Cups, Justice r, 5 of Cups, 7 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Strength r, 2 of Diamonds

2 of Pentacles r, 9 of Cups r, Queen of Wands, King of Diamonds

Death, The Hierophant, Page of Wands, 9 of Spades 

Sensitive

Peaceful

There’s still time to change your mind.

One of their prominent characteristics is their sensitivity. This doesn’t mean that they’re crybabies, they are just very mindful of everybody's feelings. This paired with what we learned about the painful parts of their past probably makes them a little insecure. This insecurity is only a problem when it comes to relationships. They may come across as very confident and flirty, but as soon as it moves past that they start clamming up and getting nervous. It could be bad enough that they have a hard time believing that you actually want to be with them.

They invest a lot of time into their projects, whether work related or personal. It’s likely that they struggle with finding a work-life balance. This is someone who needs to feel productive at every moment of the day. They keep themself busy so that they don’t need to be alone with their thoughts. This isn’t someone that knows peace. It is something they’d like to experience, but they don’t know how to. They have too many thoughts and can’t quiet their mind, their inner-demons get the best of them at times. This isn’t something they express outwardly though, everyone around them probably sees them as someone who, while busy, is fairly laid back. They need a lot of guidance here so if you’re someone who meditates, this could be something you help them with.

It’ll be easiest for you to recognize them based on their sensitivity and active lifestyle. They will be extremely helpful to their friends and family, and would drop everything to be there if needed. They are also, surprisingly down-to-earth. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 5: Hawk

Who They Are:

5 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Queen of Spades

Knight of Wands r, 10 of Wands r, 5 of Pentacles r, 3 of Diamonds

7 of Cups r, The Fool r, 10 of Pentacles, King of Spades

2 of Swords r, 9 of Cups, 3 of Cups r, 3 of Spades

The High Priestess r, 3 of Pentacles, Magician r, 9 of Diamonds

“You’re my everything.”

You need to hold yourself to more reasonable standards.

This is someone with a lot of pain, they are overwhelmed and feel defeated. I’m getting the impression that it has to do primarily with work/co-workers. It could be that they put a lot of themself into their work and seem to always get passed up for promotions, or they could have even been recently laid off. They’re very ambitious and intelligent, so if they did get laid off, it would be a big hit to their ego. Alternatively, they could have almost reached a long-standing dream, only for it to fall apart at the last second. 

Your soulmate has a lot of fiery passion that they don’t always know what to do with, so they turn everything into a competition. The thing is, they’re only competing with themself. They’re always trying to be better than they were yesterday, even when it’s unrealistic. 

As passionate as they are, they can be very patient when it comes to getting what they want. They know that not everything can be rushed, even if that’s frustrating to them. They try to avoid making reckless mistakes, but sometimes this can lead to them not making decisions in a timely manner. 

They value family and friends greatly, this could be the most important part of their life to them. They’ll test you to see if you can gain the approval of their loved ones. If you don’t, they may begin to have second thoughts. This is a soulmate though, so you’ll likely be very compatible and win everyone over with relative ease. 

How You Can Recognize Them:

5 of Pentacles, The Moon, 4 of Swords, 5 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, Judgment, 5 of Swords r, King of Wands r, 7 of Diamonds

2 of Swords r, Daughter of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles r, 3  of Clubs

Temperance r, Son of Wands r, High Priestess r, 7 of Swords r, Jack of Clubs 

6 of Swords r, The Tower r, Page of Pentacles r, 5 of Hearts

You are not seeing clearly

Hesitant

When You meet this person, they will be coming out of a very rough period of their life. They are going to be at the start of their healing journey and they won’t have a lot of time or energy for romance. They’re likely very hard on themself, they don’t want to be seen as weak so they don’t express negative emotions. This is something they have to confront in order to heal.

They are going to be in a complicated headspace, there’s going to be difficulty separating the past from the present, and there’s not a lot of balance between their spiritual and physical lives. They either reject the spiritual to embrace the material world, or neglect their physical well-being and focus solely on their spiritual self. 

You know how some people use their trauma as an excuse to inflict pain on others? This person’s the opposite of that, everything they’ve gone through has made them a patient, compassionate person. This will probably be one of the first things you notice about them, how kind they are. They are also very dependable, they’ve experienced going through hard times alone and don’t want anyone else to feel like they have to. 

Overall, they come across as a very good human being, but there’s an underlying tiredness to them. They might be dealing with a little bit of brain fog, so at times they’re slow to process the world around them.

[reidingandwriting]

"Deja Vu"

Word Count: ~2300 words

Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (ex/platonic?), Peter Parker x Michelle Jones

Warnings: A curse word or two, slightly OOC moments but it is fan-fiction so :)

A/N: I'm in love with this song and had to write this. Popped this baby out in 3 hours, and I'm pretty happy with it. Side note: I created my own timeline for this lmao. Morgan exists, but they don't live in the cabin. Reader is mentioned to be fem once or twice, but reads neutral besides that! Reader is Tony's kid but it could be read as adopted/his bio kid.

“One strawberry ice cream, just for you.” Peter said as he set the cup down in front of MJ, a single spoon dipped in the light pink dessert. MJ immediately started to eat as Peter took a seat beside her, and you and Ned were seated across from the couple at a local ice cream shop you had discovered. The one where you had taken him, where you had convinced him to try the strawberry ice cream instead of the vanilla he always got. You scooped a spoonful of your rocky road ice cream a little too aggressively, unable to eat your favorite ice cream flavor anymore.

“Thanks, Parker, it’s really good.” MJ said and Peter nudged her shoulder.

“Mind if I steal a bite?’

“Of course I mind.” MJ deadpanned and Peter blanched before MJ smirked at him. “Go ahead, loser. Just one.” MJ gave him a look and Peter saluted.

“Scout’s honor.” Peter took MJ’s spoon before he took a bite, and you barely held back the scowl as you looked over at Ned. He gave you a sympathetic smile and tapped his foot against yours under the safety of the booth. You brushed your shoulder against Ned’s while Peter and MJ were too entranced by each other to notice.

“If you get any ice cream on my jacket, I’m burning yours.” MJ’s words were menacing, but you all knew she was (mostly) kidding. Peter scoffed and held his hand against his chest in mock offense, the sleeves of MJ’s jean jacket comedically too short on Peter’s arms. MJ was dressed in Peter’s Midtown hoodie, the same one you had worn just a few months ago.

You thought it would have been funny to switch jackets, knowing your jacket would look funny on him, while you wore Peter’s oversized hoodie. And now here was MJ, wearing the same sweatshirt, while Peter wore her jacket. Have any original ideas, Parker?

“Earth to Y/N.” MJ waved her hand in your face, and you snapped back to the present. “You okay? You zoned out there for a minute.”

“Yeah, sorry. Morgan decided she wanted a sleepover last night, so we just had to build a pillow fort in my room, and that felt fantastic on my back. Almost as great as her practically laying on top of me all night.” You chuckled. “And you know I couldn’t move her, she’s got me wrapped around her finger.”

“And she knows it.” Peter said and you smiled over at him.

“Speaking of Morgan. She’s been asking me all week about if you want to come over sometime this weekend. She’s in a big Lion King phase, and she wants ‘her Petey’ to come have a pajama party with her and have a sing-along. She’s Nala, of course.” Ned snorted and Peter’s face fell.

“I can’t this weekend. MJ and I are having a Glee watch party this weekend, can you believe she’s never seen Glee?” Peter asked and you felt a pang of jealousy in your stomach.

“Oh, really?” You asked. Much like you hadn’t seen it either, until six months ago. “It’s pretty iconic, but also the worst show ever. Singing along is pretty fun, just being annoying. Really fun.” You thought back to when you and Peter were in your room, doing the same thing.

“Don’t stop believing!” Peter stood on your bed, using the remote as a microphone to serenade you. Peter looked at you expectantly, and you rolled your eyes before singing the next line, just as enthusiastically as he did.

“Hold on to the feeling!” Peter cheered and you couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’re so annoying, Parker.”

“As annoying as this show?”

“Almost.”

“Then I’m not quite done yet.”

“Raincheck next weekend, maybe?” Peter asked and you shrugged.

“I’ll have to check with Madame Secretary. She’ll likely be over The Lion King by next weekend, it’ll be ‘baby stuff.’” Your phone buzzed and you excused yourself before checking the text.

Iron Dad: Hey, kid. Are you busy?

You: A little. Why?

Iron Dad: Pep and I have an emergency meeting for work, and Happy’s sick so he can’t watch Maguna

You: I’m on my way. Give me five to say goodbye

Iron Dad: Thanks, Y/N/N. We owe you one

You: You owe me several. Love you

Iron Dad: Love you tons

“I’m sorry, guys, duty calls.” You smiled, albeit a little sadly, at your friends. “I’ll see you Monday at school?”

“We better. We have a project in chemistry due on Monday.” Ned said and you flipped him off.

“Science is my best class, you know I’ve had the project done and Dr. Banner approved since the project was announced in class.” You winked at Ned before waving at MJ and Peter. “See you later, lovebirds.” You internally cringed when ‘lovebirds’ came out more bitter than you intended. With goodbyes exchanged, you left the ice cream parlor, and you bit back the tears you felt beginning to build up. Did he feel it, too? Did he remember that you did that, too? Was he ever going to tell her all the ‘unique’ things Peter’s done were reused, that you had found them first? You wiped at your eyes before you hailed a taxi, and you shoved all your feelings down to be at your best for your little sister.

--

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Morgan barreled down the hall when you stepped out of the elevator, and you barely bent down to catch her in time as she collided with you.

“Morgan, Morgan, Morgan!” You scooped your sister up into your arms and peppered her face with kisses until she was laughing, and your mood immediately lifted at the sound. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Mom’s at work, Dad’s in his room. He’s leaving us.” Morgan pouted and you copied her expression.

“Oh, no. You’re stuck with me tonight. Too bad I’m not tall enough to reach the juice pops in the freezer.” You gasped. “Oh, wait. I am!” Morgan thrusted her fist into the air with a cheer, and you set her down. “I need to go talk to Dad real quick, then we can do almost whatever you want.” You emphasized the almost, knowing she’d ask for something you definitely shouldn’t do, then argue that you said ‘anything.’ You definitely saw a career in law for her when she got older.

“Kay-kay. I’ll go get coloring books, then we get juice pops?”

“Deal.” You offered your pinky out, and she linked pinkies with yours before she ran off to her room. You shook your head fondly before you walked off to your dad’s room, and you knocked on his door before coming in. “Dad?”

“Hey, kiddo. Come on in, I’m just packing a few things for Pep.” You walked over to the bag your dad had packed, and you began to inspect everything. “Have I been approved?”

“I think I need a hug before giving approval.” You opened your arms and your dad happily pulled you into his chest, and he held you close, as if he could sense your feelings.

“Are you okay? Do I need to stay?” Tony rubbed your back and rocked you gently, and you buried your face deeper into his chest, your eyes watering and you gripped his shirt tighter, a habit you developed when Tony first took you in- you always grabbed onto him like he was your security blanket, and Tony quickly learned there was no use in getting you to let go until you were ready.

“No, I’m okay.” Your voice was muffled but you made no effort to move yet. “Mom needs you.” You paused. “You’ll be back soon, right?”

“Luckily we’re just headed to the New York headquarters. I hope we’re home by midnight, but I’ll tell you when we find out for sure.” You nodded and let go of your dad, and he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, and he wiped your tears away with his thumb and the action almost made you cry again. “Ben and Jerry’s and sad movies when I get back, or should I get a few punching bags set up in the gym?”

“Ben and Jerry’s.” Tony nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you patted his arm, telling him he could continue packing. “ Don’t forget Mom’s favorite lipstick. She always keeps one on her, but you can never be too safe.”

“Lifesaver.” Tony said before he went back to packing.

“I should go check on Morgan, let you finish getting packed.” You said and Tony smiled at you, a softness in his eyes reserved solely for you, Morgan, and Pepper.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best big sister?”

“I do my best.” You smile back before leaving. Fingers crossed she hadn’t made a mess already.

--

You laid in bed, scrolling through your camera roll with tears streaming down your cheeks. You pressed play on a video and let out a choked sob as you watched. You and Peter were seated at the piano in the living room, and your fingers moved gracefully across the keys, playing one of your favorite songs that Peter had begged you to play for him. The familiar sounds of Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’ filled your ears, and you sang along as you played. You turned to Peter, nodded at him, and he began to play the same song after you. You hugged him at the end of the song, grinning since he had finally learned it, and you began to play it again, Peter joining you in singing along. Not even that was reserved for you and him anymore, as you had learned recently.

“I didn’t know you played.” You said as MJ took a seat at the piano, Peter seated beside her.

“Oh, I just learned. Peter taught me the one song he knows how to play.” Your heart sank and now Ned was curious.

“What song?” Don’t say it, don’t say it.

“Uptown Girl.” MJ began to play, and you felt your lip begin to tremble. Your song. The one you had taught him. You looked away as Peter quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek after the first chorus, and he whispered something into her ear. You turned to Ned and dove deep into a conversation, refusing to cry in front of them.

You jumped when you heard a knock on your window, and you grabbed the baseball bat you kept by your bed. You would have called for Bucky or Sam, but the pair were off on their own mission. You got out of bed, wiping away your tears, and you walked to the window, bat at the ready. “FRIDAY, who’s getting knocked to next year with my bat?”

“It appears Peter Parker is the one outside your window.” Peter? Of course it was.

“Lights on dim, FRI.” You set the bat down and opened the window, and Peter popped into view. “Peter? What the hell? You almost gave me a heart attack, dude.”

“I’m sorry, I know, sorry. I didn’t plan on coming out here, but I needed to talk to you.” You gestured for Peter to come in, and you suddenly realized how you had to look to him. You were in a shirt you had stolen from Thor- what? His shirt got mixed up with yours, finders keepers. You were in an old pair of sweatpants that were covered in various stains- paint from Morgan, some grease from Tony’s lab, and a bleach mark from where you and Peter were goofing around in the lab and you spilled some mystery chemical on your pants. And let’s not even talk about your puffy eyes and the tear marks on your cheeks from a night of crying.

“About what?” You sat on your bed, eyes not meeting Peter’s.

“About earlier at the ice cream parlor. You seemed really… spaced out. Not yourself. And I caught you scowling once.”

“I didn’t scowl.” You tried to defend yourself but you sighed, knowing he was right.

“And ever since MJ and I started dating, you’ve just seemed different. You’re not, like, jealous, are you?” And you couldn’t help but laugh. Truly laugh, which caused Peter’s brows to furrow. “What’s so funny?”

“You think I’m jealous! Why should I be jealous?” Peter frowned at how you weren’t taking him seriously, and he was confused.

“You know, we had… a thing. Not that we dated, but I mean, we were really close you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Like a switch, your emotions flipped from sad to frustrated in seconds. “And I’m seeing all these ‘things’ we had all over again.” It was Peter’s turn to start getting irritated, and he crossed his arms.

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Strawberry ice cream at the parlor, you can’t act like we didn’t do that. Trading jackets, we did that shit too. Teaching her piano when I taught you, how do you not get deja vu?” Peter opened his mouth to talk and you held your hand up. “You’ve got a different girl, but there’s nothing new. I discovered those places you take her, I showed you Glee, I taught you the jokes that you tell to her. When are you gonna tell her? She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused. I know I get deja vu, don’t you?” You had started to cry again, and Peter started to defend himself until FRIDAY spoke.

“Y/N, your father and mother have returned home. You may want to continue this conversation later.” You looked at Peter who wordlessly nodded. He walked to the window, and he paused before he spoke.

“We’ll talk Monday after patrol. Bye, Y/N/N.” You whispered goodbye before he left and you shut the window before you dropped to your knees, letting out broken sobs.

“I get deja vu when she’s with you…”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Could you talk about the Statute of Secrecy? Or the Ministry’s corruption in General :)

Well, those are two different things. Given that I believe I have an ask floating somewhere in my inbox on the Statute, I suppose we’ll talk about the Ministry of Magic today.

I feel like this is such a broad topic though that I’m not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll just throw spaghetti at the internet wall and see what sticks.

The Ministry is a Reflection of Society Who Never Admitted They Were the Death Eaters

In the ministry of Harry Potter’s era the Ministry is hopelessly corrupt and filled to the brim with spies (more on this in a later section). Lucius Malfoy, very high up in an unofficial capacity in the Ministry and owner of the Ministry’s mouth piece: The Daily Prophet, was a known Death Eater with a very flimsy excuse.

How is he even able to wield so much influence, you ask? Well, I think it’s not just because of Fudge picking the wrong friends.

I think most the population probably does believe Lucius Malfoy is innocent the way Fudge does. I think it’s a very small subsection, i.e. Dumbledore’s lackies, who go “Nah, ain’t buying it.” I think that, in 1981, when it came time to reveal just how many were Death Eaters and how far this went many people just couldn’t handle it.

Because it was to the point where the nation wasn’t battling Death Eaters, Death Eaters were the nation. Look at the members, these are and were the most influential and prominent families in the country, who combined hold a non-small minority of seats in the Wizengamot. More, these were only the participants, combine those who given anti-muggle and muggleborn sentiment (which I believe are pervasive even among those who claim they fight for the rights of muggles and muggleborns) and you get a nation that is suddenly facing a huge cultural issue that was never previously acknowledged.

We’re talking an entire purge of the Wizengamot, of the Ministry, of the major families and cornerstones of this society. The Black family is completely and utterly destroyed.

People were and remain throughout the 1990′s, desperate to believe it was not as bad as it was or isn’t as bad as it is. If Lucius Malfoy says he was never really a Death Eater then he was never really a Death Eater.

The Ministry is Lousy With Corruption and Spies

What’s hilarious to me is not only is the Ministry incompetent. It is positively flooded with spies. Given the ministry’s overbloated, it’s not even a sizeable minority of employees, but nonetheless every major department has at least one person (if not more) who works for somebody else.

Most work for Tom Riddle. He seems to have intelligence in every department. Through Lucius, who is working pretty much as an unofficial aide to Fudge, he has access to Fudge, complete control of the Daily Prophet, and a voice on the Hogwarts’ board of governors.

Through Rockwood, Tom has direct access to the Department of Mysteries which Lucius is then able to take full advantage of.

Lucius is able to set up an ambush in the Department of Mysteries, getting escaped convicts into the building with the none the wiser, and, had his sole purpose not been a prophecy that only Harry Potter and the Dark Lord can touch, he would have been able to take what he liked. (Though it was always odd to me that the plan was to get Harry Potter to do it, when the better solution would have been to polyjuice Tom Riddle into someone else, set up a tour with the department, and then Tom wanders off conveniently to pick up the prophecy. My theory, I suppose, is that chasing after the prophecy was mostly an exercise in punishing Lucius. And then Lucius fucked up.)

And of course, in book seven, Tom Riddle makes a puppet minister. Point being, to me, it always said a lot that in Book Seven Tom just sort of walks into the building and says, “I’m in charge now” and everyone says “okay”. There was no second Wizarding War, it was a bloodless coup that met zero resistance from anyone but angry school children. 

But that’s Tom’s spies, we also have other spies. Who am I talking about, Dumbledore’s folks of course.

Shacklebolt, Moody, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley are all spies, they just don’t have the introspection to even realize it (which really tells you something about the state of corruption in the ministry). They all work for the ministry, yes, but they in fact pass on information to and serve another master, whose goals do not always align with the government and was a hop skip and a jump away from overthrowing the government at any given moment.

And they don’t even really realize they’re doing this! There doesn’t even seem to be a thought of “I’m doing this for the greater good”, they don’t seem to acknowledge that what they’re doing is very very very bad. Arthur, in fact, is appalled when Percy refuses to do this (well, he’s upset for a lot of reasons, such as that he thinks Percy is spying on Arthur for the minister, but in there is also that Percy refuses to help out with the Order or follow Dumbledore without question). 

Harry paints the Dumbledore’s Army threat that Umbridge saw as something utterly ridiculous, but honestly if I was the ministry I would be worried about this. Dumbledore’s people have infiltrated the ministry just as deeply and badly as the Death Eaters, Dumbledore’s known for recruiting children into his vigilante organization, I don’t know what he’s doing with an army of schoolchildren but I can smell a coup coming.

Anyway, I’m getting off track, point being though that corruption is not only expected and accepted by the ministry, they cannot recognize what it even is. They’re at the point where paying bribes is allocated in their budget.

I Don’t Blame the Ministry For Not Thinking Tom Riddle Was Anti-Jesus

Fudge is designed to get a lot of flack for his outright denial that Voldemort had returned from the dead. He, and other denier characters, are meant to be fools with their heads in the sand who can’t see the obvious.

I ask what about it was obvious?

The only witness to Tom Riddle’s resurrection, Harry Potter, has a known history of erratic behavior.

The previous year, he’d performed illegal magic on his muggle aunt and run away from home. During the previous school year, Harry was revealed to be a parselmouth in a time when the Chamber of Secrets was presumably opened and the mystery was never fully solved (remember, that it was a possessed Ginny never comes to light for more than a few people.) Beyond that, since his first day of school, Harry is routinely in and out of detention, constantly out after curfew, and only seems to not be in serious trouble because he’s openly favored by Dumbledore (who gives him hundreds of points for breaking one of his school rules, during the Philosopher’s Stone fiasco in first year). In 1994, Harry is entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament under very suspicious circumstances.

We know why all this happens to Harry but from the outside he looks like a delinquent. In fact, he kind of is a delinquent. 

Point being, the only witness is not only Harry Potter (who is already sketch) but it’s Harry Potter holding a dead body of a rival in the tournament.

And he’s claiming that a man who has been nearly fifteen years dead, a man who held the nation in terror and Harry Potter is beloved for destroying, has returned from the grave and conveniently murdered Cedric.

Why is Cedric dead? Well, you see, he and Harry both touched the goblet at the same time because they were going to share the reward. The goblet, a national treasure, was turned into a portkey so that Voldemort could kidnap him.

Why didn’t Voldemort just kidnap him at any other point during the year where he’s guaranteed not to get tag a longs or the wrong kid? Uh... VOLDEMORT IS BACK (for the record, I think it’s because Barty got hung up on the goblet scheme and was determined to ruin his father’s day.)

Where is Voldemort at this very moment? Being evil, somewhere, that is not right here. No, Harry has zero evidence this happened.

Frankly, I wouldn’t believe Harry either.

And when Dumbledore goes about promoting this as sound evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned, it starts to get even sketchier. Rather than sounding the alarm, Dumbledore is using this boy’s madness to stir the public into a panic that he, perhaps, plans to take advantage of.

After Dumbledore does that, I would suspect that, even if Harry does give me a memory of the graveyard scene that his head had been tampered with by Dumbledore.

And it’s so convenient that, of all the names Harry picked, it’s Voldemort who killed Cedric. It seems like a ploy to not only deflect the fact that he murdered Cedric but 

Harry’s very upset when some don’t take him at his word but Harry’s also a dumbass and a psychopath. He hates everyone who doesn’t agree with him.

More importantly, necromancy isn’t a thing in the Harry Potter universe. People don’t rise from the dead. Horcruxes exist, but they’re extremely rare, and it seems like no one ever really makes use of them.

So, yeah, not unreasonable that Fudge didn’t immediately go, “My god, Voldemort has risen from the dead! LIGHT THE BEACONS AND SUMMON ROHAN!”

So yeah, it’d take me seeing Voldemort waltzing through the Department Mysteries to go “... Goddammit, this man is more unkillable than Sheev Palpatine.”

After the Epilogue, I am Certain It’s Still the Same Damn Ministry

People hate the epilogue, but in a way, I love it, because it confirms many of my headcanons: these people don’t learn a goddamn thing.

Nothing in their society seems to have changed. Instead of one set of families holding all the power it’s now a new set of families and friends holding all the power. The difference being that they are now all in some way connected to Harry Potter.

Nepotism’s still the name of the game, we still see only human children boarding the Hogwarts Express so you know shit hasn’t changed for the goblins, Draco Malfoy’s alive and well and holds a position in the Ministry that Kingsly graciously allows him to have, it’s just now you have Hermione writing all your laws for you.

The Wizarding World is still the Wizarding World in every single capacity. The only difference is that Voldemort is dead again. Hooray.

Harry and friends simply don’t have the introspection to even realize it.

[dingdonghyvck]

The Only Exception || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: You finally realize that Haechan’s the only exception to the one rule you gave yourself.

Genre: Angst and a little bit of Fluff  

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit content, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, implications of sex, sex jokes, use of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, verbal and physical abuse, divorce, and a few others I probably forgot to mention

Word Count: 5.4k words

So this is part two of the Drummer!Haechan AU I wrote: Still Into You

 Please do give feedback, it’s greatly appreciated! Thank you and enjoy :)

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget”

It all started with hushed arguments, hidden whispers of disappointment behind closed doors, afraid of breaking the perfect image your family had, afraid of the neighbors to talk. From hushed arguments to daily endeavors of avoiding each other everyday, it was like a ticking bomb inside your home. A ticking bomb you had tip-toed over each morning past your parents' bedroom, hearing the muffled crying. You knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb would finally explode, imploding your house from inside-out.

You hoped and you prayed to any god willing to listen that the rumors were not true. The neighbors started talking and the news had somehow got out. And that was when everything started breaking down. The hushed arguments turned to wars of screaming and crying, sharp words that cut through you like a knife. That was when the walls of your home began to talk, they spoke to you too, they echoed the hatred your parents had for each other. They made you feel unwanted, unloved and useless, since of course the sole foundation of your life was crumbling. You were the scars, bruises, and pain they brought into the world, you were once proof of their love that turned into a ghost wandering the halls, desperately clawing against the wallpaper to make it all stop.

It didn't end with words, it seemed as if words weren't hurtful enough. You were caught in the crossfire, desperately trying to raise the white flag between the two, but you ended up becoming their stress ball. They would sometimes drown you, lock you up in the basement or straight up hit you. They kept squeezing you and throwing you around like a stress ball bound to burst, the people at school began noticing the bruises and cuts. In the end they left you alone, vacant and ignored since you began bringing your friends over your house.

And for the first time in a while you felt safe, you felt safe in Jeno's comforting smile when he tried to teach you guitar. You felt safe with Hendery's little pranks and teasing during practices. You felt safe in Donghyuck's presence whenever you two would head out after band practice, in his car with no particular destination in mind. The nights were long, but somehow it always ended too quickly for you. You wished you could stay for an eternity inside Donghyuck's car, it was a place where you didn't bother to be someone else except yourself.

It was a space where you weren't either the whore's daughter or the useless excuse of a student. You were just authentically you and Donghyuck openly accepted you, he didn't say it but you knew he did. He didn't talk whenever you didn't feel like it, he opened the car window when you wanted to watch the stoplights and streetlight wiz by. That's what made those nights perfect, it was Donghyuck's soft humming along the mediocre pop song on the radio. His weirdly specific defensive monologue whenever you brought up his tacky lavender car scent. Donghyuck's presence in general as he would sometimes just hold your hand while you thought to yourself.

One of those nights where you thought to yourself that life should always be like this, you didn't know how, but you knew that Donghyuck has to be apart of it. You decided that the world may go to shit, your parents may end up getting a divorce, you may end up living the rest of your life as a deadbeat. But you no longer cared as long as you had this place, in a worn out car seat next to him; well that was what you thought at least.

"And that was the day that I promised,

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist"

Donghyuck's sudden departure from the band shocked both Jeno and Hendery, they took it considerably well in all honesty. They still wanted to continue on with the band, partly because they needed the money from the gigs and mostly because they worried for you as a friend. You tried your best in trying to continue with your life and look for another drummer, for another Donghyuck in your life. As silly as it sounded since you were the one that pushed him away, you would think of him most days. You were only realizing how important Donghyuck was in your life.

He was always the one who took care of you, reminded you to eat and rest whenever you forgot. He would show up at your dorm to bring you breakfast or make you coffee, remind you that some of the books you borrowed from the library was due tomorrow, or even just chat you to check on how your day was going. Now that you had changed your number and avoided him like a plague you were starting to realize how much you lost.

And you had thought of calling him, or maybe reaching out to ask how his day was going, the same way he used to check on you. You were so tempted that you showed up at his place, a second away from buzzing his doorbell, but you remembered. You remembered how awful you were to him, you were reminded of the pain and misery you've caused him all through out your lives so far. You were being selfish yet again, so you stopped yourself. You immediately turned around that day and called up Hendery and Jeno to tell them that the band was over, you didn't have the guts to face them anymore.

The guilt was eating you alive, they had tried to convince you otherwise but you pushed them away too. The only person who you kept in your life was Mark. You still felt happy to be around him, although you didn't feel comfortable since you felt like you had to keep a facade around him. He seemed glad to see you more often, you'd cling onto him like a flee for days. But there came a time when he finally asked why you were so vacant these days, and where were your other friends; it was an argument caused by Mark's growing irritation for being required to see you everyday and almost having to babysit you like child, all the while trying to keep up with other activities going on his life. You had left him without a single word and returned the next day like nothing happened.

He genuinely did like you, he wished things were different but he couldn't handle the nonstop texts and calls that came from you every minute of the hour, he was beginning to get sick of it. And you immediately notice his distaste, the way he would dryly reply to your messages or not talk to you whenever he did have time to see you. You knew you were becoming a bit too much for him, desperate for company that you became too overbearing, a bit too possessive and selfish when it came to his time.

And for the first time, you felt it. You felt how your heart sunk everytime Mark chose to answer a call from a friend when you were talking to him, the way he would look anywhere else but you whenever you tried to start conversations. You were usually on the other end of the stick, careless of other people’s emotions and too busy living in your own world. You finally knew what it felt when Donghyuck dated you, and what horrible thoughts that came with it. In the end, you knew that Mark was too kind to end it with you, he obviously knew you were having issues in your personal life, but he couldn't be bothered anymore; he's tried talking to you about it, but you'd always change the topic.

So you told yourself that it was better if you would be alone for now, this is the tenfold of misery and hurt you've caused everyone around you, especially Donghyuck, your world was falling apart as more and more people left.  You eventually ended things with Mark, and he gave you a simple okay and left.  He didn't seem to notice you anymore, he continued to live his university life unscathed, it was as if you two never spoke in the first place.

He would sometimes smile at you or give you a small nod of his head whenever you saw each other around campus, but that was the most you've gotten from him. You didn't blame him, he didn't have time to waste with people like you. Being alone with your thoughts truly was eating you alive, you were beginning to go insane. Everytime you were about to reach out to anyone, either Jeno, Hendery, or Donghyuck, you'd always stop yourself to remind you that you deserved this.

You deserved to be alone, you cannot be loved. You were a heartless monster just as Donghyuck said and you lived most of your days alone while trying to survive with the little funds your new part time provided. You didn't know how, but you somehow lived as days went by. You watched the leaves and flowers bloom from the branches outside of your dorm till they wilted. It was now winter, and you freely wandered the streets. No other human could be seen outside, everyone was probably spending time with loved ones, since of course it was the holidays.

Days you should be spending with the people you cherish and loved the most, you could see the warm lights from within some of the homes, laughter resonates through the walls, probably the lovers and families enjoying their own company. Playing dumb board games and cuddled up by the fire, watching the grinch movies with eggnog and warm cups of hot choco. You never really understood the joys of the holidays, probably because the only other person you had spent it was with Donghyuck, and there you go thinking of him again.

As if thinking of him in everything you do wasn't enough, he began appearing in your dreams. You didn't know if it was pleasant to revisit old memories or did it hurt to reminisce what was lost between you two. And as much as it hurt you chose to remember him as someone you loved, perhaps not romantically, but he was someone you truly cherished. You thought that he'd comment on how cheesy you've become, so melodramatic that you'd give William Shakespear a run for his money when he's already in his grave.

You bitterly laugh at the thought, the cold makes your throat dry and eyes watery but you look up to the moon while standing next to a lamp post near the frozen river.  You could almost feel his presence, you truly were going insane that you started imagining things he'd say to you at times like this. The snarky comments and cute pet names he'd give you whenever you dragged him along for whatever adventure you had in mind. You remembered how he'd first complain about it to no end, but he always ends up coming with you. He always does, of course, he's Donghyuck, the person who stuck with you through thick and thin; the person you've hurt the most.

You begin humming a small tune, you didn't recognize it at first, but you ended up humming a paramore song. The song you both listened to during class the first day you two met, the same song that you sang here, with tears streaming down you cheeks. You didn't know you were crying until you felt the cold gust of wind brushing against your cheeks, a chill running down your spine as you sniffled.

"I hope you're happy now Hyuck, wherever you are," it felt weird to speak, you couldn't remember the last time you opened your mouth to say anything. it's been months since you've last said a word to anyone, you throat was dry and you could barely recognize your own voice, it was raspier than you last remembered.

"I'm happy enough to know we're looking at the same moon tonight at least." you laughed, your throat hurts like hell, the laugh came as a croak and you tried to gasp in air to try and stop yourself from breaking down.

It felt weird to listen to your own voice, everything felt unreal. These past few months were like a fever dream to you, you even wondered if you were dead and this was some cruel purgatory you served for the shit you pulled back then. You've thought about jumping into the frozen river, maybe the cold would at least wake you up if this was truly some cruel nightmare. If not it could also finally end all the suffering and pain you know you caused yourself, what hurt most was you cannot blame anyone else for what is happening now. You shakily let out a breath, hands gripping the metal railing. You were about to jump over it when the street's fairy lights were suddenly turned on and it reflected off the thin layer of ice of the lake.

You wake up from your daze, what the hell were you thinking? The pretty lights distracted you for a moment, you pace your breathing with the consistent flicker of the warm glow of the tiny lights, trying to calm down.

"And I've always lived like this,

keeping a comfortable distance"

senior year, prom.

You bit your lip while watching the fairy lights flicker, whose idea was it to have tiny light bulbs as decoration for the photo booth, and god you wanted to give them a kiss now. It was such a hazard that you couldn't stop thinking of the endless possible drama it could cause, the prom queen could end up stepping on it and light her dress on fire, that would at least make the night interesting. You blew the tiny patch of fake snow off the table while you grumpily waited for someone, anyone, to step on one of the fairy lights, but you were dragged out of your reverie when you hear Donghyuck's voice behind you.

"Hey ugly,"

"Hey stupid," you replied, eyes shifting away from the photo booth for a second to look at him. He stuck out like a sore thumb, he wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the rest, or even a tie to at least try and be formal. He was sporting his favorite leather jacket with a green untucked button up underneath, he looked underdressed, the only effort he made to his appearance was the way he styled his hair to showcase his forehead.

"That's not a nice way to speak to your boyfriend" Donghyuck faked a gasp, dragging a chair to sit down beside you, you raised an eyebrow at him. The stupid crease on his jacket annoyed you to no end, so you fixed it for him, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Boyfriend? I thought boyfriends put in extra efforts for prom? You know like in the movies, they give the girl a cute corsage and tell them how pretty they look and end up fucking in the bathroom or something?"

"You're beautiful." He says it blatantly, you stop to look him in the eyes, and it seemed genuine. You pursed your lips while trying to hide your smile, boyfriend Donghyuck was different from best friend Donghyuck, he was a lot... sweeter.

"Let's fuck in the bathroom later?" he added, to which you groaned and slapped his thigh. He only laughed at you while gently fitting his hand into yours, gently kissing your knuckles when you swore you were gonna bite his dick someday, just he wait.

Well you'll  give him credit, he at least made an effort to look nice for you. You didn't even bother to blow dry your hair today and you were wearing what you'd usually wear whenever you went out with him, just with a bit more grunge added, like black fishnet stockings. He wasn't complaining at all, he knew that whatever you were wearing tonight would end up ripped anyway, probably somewhere on his bedroom floor. And plus, you two didn't really attend prom, the only reason you bothered to this year was for the battle of the bands.

You were already done with the performance so you were all simply waiting for the announcement of the winner. You knew Jeno was probably out on the dance floor dancing with his date in a proper suit and tie like a gentleman, but you had no idea where Hendery went. One second he said he was going to get you a drink, the next he's disappeared before you into thin air. So you were left with Donghyuck, who was currently playing with your rings. As weird as it felt to have a label between you two, nothing's changed. You thought that you'd feel more awkward towards him, but the only thing that changed was the label, and you were happy in a way.

"Wanna dance?"

You perk up at his question, you finally realize that a slow song was playing. Everyone was paired off in front of you, even some of the teachers were dancing. You almost let out a laugh at the sight of some of couples who were trying their best to keep it in their pants. You thought he was joking until you looked over at him, he was shyly fiddling with his own hands now, not able to look you in the eyes. You would laugh if it weren't for the way he seemed so shy to ask, he looked like he was about to combust.

"I don't dance," you laughed, he looks up at you. You didn't know it was possible but he looked much more embarrassed now, it was cute it in a way.

"Let's get out of here?"

"Now that's more like it" you smirk, taking his hand to lead him outside of the gymnasium and to his car.  He didn't bother to fight it, he just simply let you drag him out to the parking lot.

He opens the car door for you and you played along, deciding to not tease him just this once since, of course, he was already red enough. He turns on the engine and you switch through different channels on the radio, finally settling on one when he pulls out of the driveway.

“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.”

The song on the radio hummed in the background as he drove as carefully as he could, the roads were iced and it wasn't very safe to drive right now. He was about to take the turn to his house but you stop him and told him to bring you to the center of town, he was unsure why the sudden request, but he follows your directions anyway. For the moment, you stared at his face. The way the streetlights lit up his skin, you rarely saw his forehead and it did make him look attractive. Well he was already attractive in the first place but you couldn’t help but observe the way he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the song’s beat, it looked instinctive and natural to him.

"So are you finally going to murder me and take my intestines to sell on the black market?" he spoke, and you laughed, throwing your head back; he was finally starting to look handsome to you, and he opens that damned mouth of his.

"Kidneys my darling! Your kidneys will be worth a fortune!" you giggled while leaning over the center console to kiss his cheek, he smiled at the sound of your laughter.

He takes you exactly where you asked him, the center of the town. The exact intersection that’s considered as the heart of your buzzing neighborhood. The exact intersection that usually had so many cars, always the cause of traffic and delay, was now completely empty. All the stores near the intersect were closed, no other person in sight but the stoplights continued to operate. The colors red, yellow, and green appearing in an ordered sequence, proportionally timed. Although there wasn't a single car in sight, Donghyuck stopped when the light turned red.

"What are you waiting for?" you asked in confusion, he shrugs.

"Can you tell me why we're here?"

You didn't bother to speak, you simply got out of the car and stood at the center of the intersection. You opened your arms up to him and he watched you curiously, you let out a boisterous laugh, spinning around your heel. You forgot that the road was slippery so you fell flat on your back, still laughing. Donghyuck runs out of his car to kneel beside you, he had a worried look to him but it immediately faded away when you looked at him with joy in your eyes.

He scoffed, not forgetting to comment on how stupid you looked before offering his hand to help you stand up. You take his hand but instead of sitting up, you pull him towards you and he slips, ending up toppled over you. His breathing was uneven as it brushed cooly against your cheek, you close your eyes at the feeling. He gently kissed your cheek after a minute, finally standing up to brush himself off. You were still lying down on the ground, flailing your arms around to try and form a snow angel.

"Are you dumb? Get up before we get run over" Donghyuck tried to sound angry, but he couldn't stop the lilt in his voice, a tiny chuckles escapes his mouth.

"Shut up already and just lie down! Why do you always ruin the moment?” you whined looking up at him, still spread eagle at the center of the intersect, he raised an eyebrow at you, it was becoming a habit to him.

“Don’t you feel it too? The world’s stopped, they’ve finally shut up! So enjoy it and come lie down with me.”

“And if we get run over?”

“Then so be it” You shrugged, Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh before taking his seat beside you. He doesn’t lie down, so you sit up to lean against his shoulder.

And the world stops, like what you said. For a moment the only thing you two could hear was the sound of your breathing and the beating of your hearts, he held your hand in his while you both watched the stoplight change colors. It felt like you two were the only people on earth, and it was the best. There was nothing but the moon, your thoughts, the stoplight, and him. And as peaceful as it was you couldn’t stop the thought from spilling from your mouth.

“Someday I’ll burn this town to the ground” you comment, and he snorts.

“Gee, it sure sounds like a solid plan” he says it sarcastically, and you turn to look at him.

“I’m serious! You better not get in my way or anything or else I’ll have to set you on fire” you say it with the most serious tone that he’s taken aback, well that was one weird thought he thought.

His face makes you laugh and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh with you. He shook his head when he realized you were joking, probably. You felt content and happy that you decided to grant him one wish. He once again has the confused face he had earlier, just when he was finally settled you suddenly move. He tries to stand up to follow you, but you told him that you’ll be back.

He watched you open the driver’s side of the car, he thought you were about to drive away and leave him here but he was abruptly stopped mid-thought when the speakers of the radio of his car boomed throughout the empty streets. His eyes widened, he was worried that it might wake the whole street up. Then he remembered that the residential homes were located near the outskirts of town, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear. Most of this area had shops and stores, so the people are probably back at home, you both aren’t technically disturbing anyone hopefully. He relaxes back into his seat to watch you waltz back towards him.

“So?” you asked, the smile on your face was infectious.

“So?” he mimicked dumbly and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, was he always this dumb?

“May I have this dance?” you groaned, turning red yourself. You blamed it on the cold, but he couldn’t help but laugh at you. At first it sounded like he was mocking you, but when you met his eyes to smack him on the head you were only met with eyes filled with so much endearment and affection that you could only pull back your hand.

He takes your hand to stand up, you complain of course, he was heavy. But he hushed you when he placed his fingers to your chapped lips, he smiled so widely that it looked like it hurt. You pursed your lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and he securely holds your waist. Although the atmosphere was supposed to be romantic, your terrible sense of rhythm in dancing ruined it. You would think that you’d be good at following the rhythm when dancing being a couple of musicians, but you both always missed a beat by a second. And he could only laugh while you cursed, finally remembering why you never danced.

You were muttering something under you breath, but your voice hitched when he brushes his fingers against your hair. He placed a sweet kiss to your temple and you freeze, you felt your heart clench at the action. He begins whispering the lyrics to your ear, you swallow thickly. This was one of the rare times he’d sing to you, you tried to tell him countless times that his voice was beautiful, but he had always denied saying yours was better. But hearing him now, whispering softly against your ear while he nuzzled his nose to your neck affectionately made your heart throb. You take in a deep breath, this feeling in your chest, it was your heart clenching. You didn’t know if he was hurting you but you were so overwhelmed that you suddenly pushed him away.

“Did I do something wrong?” his eyes spoke, trying to reach out to you again but you take another step backward.

“This was a stupid idea” You were shocked to hear your voice crack, Donghyuck frowns at your comment.

“What do you mean?”

“Take me home.... now.”

He tried to take a step towards you but you run back towards his car, closing the door to wait for him. You lower the volume of the radio and try to gather your thoughts, what the fuck was that? You watched him walk back towards the car and swore to yourself, whatever the hell you felt earlier, whatever he did to you, he will never be able to do again. It was too much of a risk, and you swore to yourself to never let yourself be that vulnerable again.

He tries to talk to you on the way home, but your replies were dry. You were busy fiddling with your fingers while looking outside the window. He tried his best to make you tell him what he did wrong but he couldn’t get another word out from you the moment he pulled up in front of your house. You were about to leave but you decided to try and turn things around, you tried to get back to what you two were used to.

You kissed him, hauling yourself over the center console to sit on his lap. He tries to pull away but you continued to kiss, hastily lifting his shirt to try and remove it. In the end he was weak to your touch, he could never deny you of anything. He hoped that you two could talk it out in the morning but you were unavailable the next few weeks after that, busy fooling around with Johnny.

“I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream”

Present day.

The next day you decided to visit your home town. Although you didn’t have any family left to visit, you had volunteered to play at an orphanage, it was the least you could do for the holidays. If you couldn’t be happy, you could at least make others feel it. Who knew that Jeno’s stupid guitar lessons would end up becoming an asset to you, you could at least spread a little joy to the children who didn’t have parents, you somehow understood how they felt, in a weird way.

It was a joy to finally sing with a purpose again, hearing them laugh and sing along with you made your heart sore. Well at least you didn’t feel as useless after playing with a few of the kids and chatting with the caretakers and other volunteers. It felt freeing, to finally do something right. You fucked up this year for the most of it but you felt a bit less burdened when the children asked you to braid their hair or took your hand to dance with them. After serving your purpose at the orphanage you find yourself at the intersection. You don’t know what you wanted to accomplish, but your feet ended up taking you here.

And as expected it was filled with bustling life, people going in and out of shops to buy late christmas presents, children building snowmen and riding the tiny slopes made by the snow. The traffic as usual was heavy, the cars were honking and the streets were so noisy that no one could bearly hear themselves think. You sat by a bench near the park, the intersect still in your sight. You were eating a bagel mindlessly when a little kid sat beside you, he was eyeing your guitar.

“You play?” the little kid asked and you nodded, giving him a small smile to not scare him away, you probably looked like a walking corpse; you can’t remember the last time you slept properly.

“A little bit, like five songs?” you smiled and he instantly asks you to play, there was this urgency in his voice that you couldn’t help but immediately do what he was asking.

You bite into the bagel while tuning your guitar, thinking of a song to play, well out of the five you knew how to play. You began strumming the guitar to Paramore’s The Only Exception, humming the tune as best as you could with the bagel in your mouth. You end your humming after the first chorus to be met with a grimace, the little kid laughed at you.

“You’re no good”

“Hey!” you take out the bagel from your mouth to yell jokingly at him, he scrunches his nose up when you ruffle his hair and you laugh at his annoyed face, he somehow looked familiar, was he one of the kids from the orphanage? Wait were they even allowed to leave the orphanage?

“So what’s your name?” You ask, putting the guitar back into its case. The voice that meets your ears wasn’t the little boy’s, it was a voice you haven’t heard in a long time, a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Dongsuk,”

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be real. You blink a few times before pinching yourself, you were probably hallucinating. Because there is no way, not a chance the Lee Donghyuck was now standing in front of you. That shit only happens in movies, this can’t be real. But you could only rub your eyes so much, he looked real, like real enough that he was getting closer to you. And he finally speaks, and you finally realize it really is him in the flesh.

“Where have you been?” he speaks, you first thought that he was talking to you but he grabs the little boy’s arm. He glances at you and you try to speak and he simply turns his nose away from you, you feel your world crack in half.

To his defense you were the one who moved dorms, changed your number, and avoided him like a plague. So his reaction was expected, you don’t know why you were so surprised. He was about to walk away when you finally speak, he stops cold in his steps when he hears your voice.

“Donghyuck...” He turns to look at you, and his eyes were still the same. It still had the same hurt and sadness you’d usually see when he looked at you, but he looked much more angrier than you remembered.

“Let’s... talk”

“You are the only exception, oh and I'm on my way to believing.”

[persephone-plasmids]

Debriefing

Deacon and Sole fanfic.

[AO3]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Debriefing

Deacon and Sole walked in complete  silence through the abandoned Nuka-World park. Not because they were worried they’d attract the attention of ferals, but because neither of them seemed to be mature enough to address the incredible kiss they’d both just shared. Of course, nearly having Sole kill him when she got poisoned by HalluciGen and meeting a super dramatic Ghoul named Oswald had also distracted them. But Deacon was fairly certain the kiss was the real reason for the silent treatment he was currently getting.

I shouldn’t have done it, Deacon thought to himself. Although even as he thought this, his mind replayed the sensation of Sole’s lips against his and he felt his cheeks flush.

Sole was walking ever-so-slightly ahead of him, her hips swaying back and forth in a way that Deacon tried to ignore.

Right. He needed to fix this. To get things back to normal.

“Hey Charmer, did I ever tell you about the time I went undercover as Magnolia for an entire week?”

Sole slowed her pace a bit so that Deacon could fall in step beside her. “Go on,” she said, raising an eyebrow with an amused look in her eye.

“I did the whole shebang. Donned the red dress, wore a black wig, sang all the songs.”

“Flirted with the patrons?” She asked.

“That was my favorite part,” Deacon said. “You wouldn't believe how many free drinks I got that week. It’s amazing what people will do for a pretty face.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Sole’s lips, but the action just brought Deacon’s attention right back to the very area he was trying to forget.

He cleared his throat nervously before continuing. “I'll tell you, though. I’m not a fan of shaving my legs. I could never quite get that little area behind my knee.”

At this, Sole snorted, trying to suppress her laugh and failing miserably. “How do you even come up with these ridiculous lies?”

She still wasn’t looking at him, but he preferred it that way. If she wasn’t looking at him, then they weren’t in danger of suddenly kissing each other.

“Who says that’s a lie?” Deacon asked, his voice easily slipping back into its smooth unconcerned cadence.

“Literally anyone who’s ever met you,” she said, looking down at the ground as they walked. “I can read you most of the time. But I’m finding it harder and harder these days.”

“Oh?” Deacon asked.

He wanted to know what she’d meant by that, but he never did get his answer. Instead, he heard the familiar clomp, clomp, clomp of power armor approaching them. Deacon rolled his eyes at the Paladin’s lack of subtlety and Sole moved a bit further away from Deacon.

The motion would have been almost imperceptible to anyone but him. But it still gave him complicated feelings. Was he hurt that she didn’t want to be seen being this familiar with him? Or did it give him hope that she was feeling that same connection to him, even if she was trying to ignore it.

“Soldier,” Danse said, nodding to Sole before turning to Deacon. “Liar.”

“Ouch,” Deacon said, placing a hand over his heart and stumbling back a few paces dramatically. “Shots fired, Paladin. Right out the gate too.”

“Told you everyone knows you’re a liar,” Sole said under her breath, grinning as she looked at Danse.

MacCready appeared suddenly beside Danse, out of breath and wiping blood from his hands. “There’s a serious Bloodworm infestation here. I think we should get out of Dry Rock Gulch. It’s not worth the effort.”

“That’s just as well,” Sole said. “The Synth isn’t in Nuka-World. They’ve already made it out of The Commonwealth.”

“Is that so?” Danse asked. “Outstanding!”

“Bingo!” Deacon shouted.

Everyone stopped and turned to look at him in confusion.

“Danse said ‘outstanding’. That’s the last square I needed on my boy scout bingo card.”

No one said anything. Instead, Sole’s cheeks immediately flushed a dark shade of scarlet as her eyes grew as wide as saucers. She stared at Deacon in horror and had she not immediately looked away from him again, he would have thought there was a Deathclaw behind him.

Danse cleared his throat uncomfortably before Sole began loudly speaking. “So, I think we’re all done here. The Synth is safe and we’re all alive. Let’s head out.”

Sole’s voice sounded unnatural. And the way Danse turned away from Deacon with a stronger look of annoyance on his face than normal, told him that something was wrong.

As Sole and Danse began walking away, Mac sidled up beside Deacon and said in a low voice, “Not really your color, is it?” Before snickering and joining Sole and the tin can.

Deacon brought his hand up to his lips. When he pulled them away, he could see that they were stained with Sole’s red lipstick.

“Perfect,” he groaned.

--------

Things back at Railroad HQ had been normal when Sole and Deacon returned to report to Desdamona. Painfully normal. The kind of normal you got when you were trying too hard to make things seem normal. Sole was still avoiding eye contact with Deacon, but when she thought he wasn’t looking, he’d catch her staring.

Again, his sunglasses proved beneficial for more than just his Railroad missions.

“Thank you both for your continued efforts on behalf of The Railroad,” Desdemona said, after they’d given her the news concerning the Synth in Nuka-World. “Charmer, you’re getting much more efficient in your debriefings.”

“Charmer can debrief me any time,” Deacon said, giving her finger guns as Sole just shook her head in exasperation.

“Deacon, do I need to refresh your memory on the no fraternization rule?” Desdamona asked.

“Oh come on, that was funny,” Deacon insisted.

“Deacon?” Desdamona was still waiting for him to answer.

“No Des. I’ll do my best to shield your ears from my incredible wit. But just know you’ll be missing out.”

“I think I’ll survive,” Des said shortly. “You’re both dismissed.”

And with that, the imposing woman walked away.

“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Deacon said, pulling on the collar of his white shirt for effect as he smiled over at Sole.

“I mean… she is right though,” Sole said, looking down at her hands instead of at Deacon. “We probably shouldn’t joke about stuff like that.”

“Are you… we joke about that kind of stuff all the time,” Deacon said incredulously. “I mean… if it makes you uncomfortable of course I’ll stop. I just… thought that was sort of our thing.”

Deacon could feel his cheeks heating up as he desperately tried to save the situation. If Sole was uncomfortable with their joking, it was news to him. She was usually the one to start the innuendos. But he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

The kiss may have tarnished their friendship a bit, mostly because it made it impossible for Deacon to keep lying to himself about his feelings. But he didn’t want it to completely ruin what they already had.

“I just… don’t want people to talk,” Sole said simply, still looking down at her hands.

“Yeah, of course, Boss. Whatever you say,” Deacon answered, rubbing the back of his neck before trying to assume a nonchalant posture. “Just trying to keep things light. I’ll resort to the old failsafes instead. You know… the nuclear apocalypse… the hopelessness of our existence… Danse’s extensive grooming routine.”

Sole almost smiled at this last bit. He could tell from the way her jaw tensed. But instead of smiling she just nodded. “Thanks, Deeks.”

Without another word, Sole gave Deacon a curt smile, turned on her heel, and walked away, leaving him totally and utterly confused about where they stood.

Idiot, he thought. Did I seriously think I could kiss Sole without things getting weird? Do I really want to throw away my closest friendship just because I… what? Feel something for her? Big deal. I feel something for Fancy Lad Snack Cakes and I’m not making moves on them.

Deacon refrained from letting out the gigantic sigh that had settled in his chest, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Instead, he ducked into the escape tunnel and out the back door into the small underground room just beyond the main section of Railroad HQ.

Pulling out a cigarette, Deacon nearly jumped out of his skin when Sole lit a match beside him.

“Geez! Are you kidding me?” Deacon whisper-shouted at her, jumping back against the wall and hitting his head in the process.

He dropped his unlit cigarette to the ground and rubbed the back of his head where it had made contact with the bricks.

“I thought you were always aware of your surroundings.”

“And I thought you were a baby Deathclaw about to drag me off to mommy like a bleeding morbid trophy,” he said, still whisper-shouting. “Why are you back here, Sole?”

“I needed some alone time,” she said, her face slightly amused as she watched him come down from his scare. “And then you just followed right behind me.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Deacon said. “I didn’t even see you come back here. Trust me, I don’t go around looking for humiliation more than once a day.”

“Excuse me?” Sole asked, her eyes narrowing at his words.

Deacon swallowed, realizing he was being too honest again. He didn’t want her to know he was hurt. Hell, he didn’t even want her to know he had actual feelings for her.

“I mean… I have gone looking for humiliation in the past,” he began, trying to think up a lie funny enough to distract Sole from his honesty. “Like this one time--.”

“Deacon, stop,” Sole said, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just… I can’t do this.”

“Yep, no problem,” Deacon said automatically, without really knowing what she was talking about specifically.

Odds were, he probably didn’t want to know. He’d made a point of detaching himself from the people around him. It was a necessity in The Railroad. But it had also been crucial for his survival after Barbara. Sole broke down that resolve and made him feel out of control in a way that he both loved and hated.

Sole turned to leave but stopped herself and instead faced Deacon once more, looking at the ground with a deep sigh.

“I’m just going to say it, okay?” she began, now looking up to meet his eyes before frowning. “Geez, Deeks, will you please take those sunglasses off so I can actually see you?”

Panic.

He needed his sunglasses. Otherwise Sole might find out just what a terrible bluffer he actually was.

“You know what? Never mind. This might actually be easier if I can’t see you.”

Her words were doing nothing to comfort him and he was desperately trying to quell the mild panic attack that was rising in his chest. “Sole, if I’m dying, you really need to just rip off the bandaid and tell me.”

He grinned at her, but they both knew it was a facade to mask his panic.

“I appreciate you telling me about Barbara. That took a lot of trust to open up to me about her.”

Well this wasn’t looking good.

“And I felt instantly connected to you because of it. We… we both knew what it was like to experience loss.” Sole frowned but pushed through it. “And honestly, after everything with Nate, I didn’t think I’d ever… feel anything for someone again.”

Deacon had to stop this conversation. He’d made her uncomfortable. And he hated himself for that.

“You don’t need to say anything else, Boss. I got it loud and clear,” Deacon said.

But Sole wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily.

“I don’t think you do,” Sole said. “I get that you flirt. It’s what you do. And it was always fine with me but… I can’t keep putting myself out there just to find out that this whole thing is a big joke to you. I’m not like that. It… it hurts too much.”

Deacon’s heart twisted inside of him. Had he misunderstood this situation completely? There was no way. Because as much as he’d dreamed about Sole reciprocating his feelings, he never thought it would actually happen.

Deacon had been a bigot back in his youth. Someone had died. He’d been a violent man. Sure he’d changed, but there was no way someone as good as Sole would be able to look completely past that. She may say his past wasn’t important, but she was just being polite. That’s who Sole was.

There was no way she could ever truly forgive him. He knew that. And he didn’t think he’d deserve that kind of forgiveness even if she did offer it.

“I respect you too much to break up our team, because we really do work well together… I just need the flirting to stop,” Sole said, looking down at her hands again as she twisted them together. “I want… I want you, Deacon. And it’s fine that I can’t have you. Really. I can learn to live with that. I’m a big girl. But… I’m not good at differentiating your joking with what’s real. I never have been. You know that.”

Deacon was staring at Sole now with the most shocked expression he’d ever worn.

She was saying that she had feelings for him. Wasn’t she?

Of course, he could just ask her for clarification, but that went against every instinct inside of him that was screaming at him to make a joke.

He realized a bit too late that he had been staring at her in silence for quite a while. She looked up at him uncomfortably with a wince. “So… are we good?” she asked. “Even though… you know… I just told you I have a crush on you like some five-year-old on the playground?”

There it was. The confirmation.

Deacon’s mouth might have actually dropped open in shock. He wasn’t sure.

“Okay, well… this has been sufficiently awkward. But I said what I needed to say. So…” she gave him a soft awkward slug on the shoulder. “Good talk, Sport.”

She instantly shook her head in embarrassment at her own words.

“Yeah, I’m going to leave now,” she mumbled, ducking her head down and turning to walk away.

“Wait, hold up just a minute,” Deacon said, finally regaining control of his brain. At least partially.

Sole turned around slowly and reluctantly.

“I swear if you make fun of me for this, Deeks, I will fill your pillowcase with cayenne pepper while you sleep.”

“Whoa,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. “That escalated way faster than it probably should have.”

Deacon reached down and hesitantly took Sole’s hand in his own.

“I just… are you actually saying you have feelings for me?” Deacon asked.

Sole’s cheeks flushed at his straightforward words. Deacon was never straightforward. Except for the time he’d told Sole about Barbara.

“Seriously, Deacon? You’re going to make me say it again?”

“You feel things for me?” Deacon repeated, trying to rephrase his question so that there was no confusion. He wasn’t doing a great job. “Not like the way Danse has feelings for his power armor, right?”

“I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at his power armor. So, maybe,” Sole said, that ghost of a smile returning to her lips. “Seriously, can I go now? I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this humiliated. This is worse than the dream where I show up to school naked.”

Deacon’s eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses at this statement. “Okay, well I’d definitely like to hear more about that in a minute,” Deacon began. “But I just… I feel like I need to be absolutely certain. You, the perfect, beautiful, compassionate, smart, brave, sexy, savior of The Commonwealth, have romantic feelings towards a former-bigot, current-man-child, broken, immature, and hopelessly lost human?”

Realization seemed to dawn on Sole in that moment. At his words she could see the insecurity dripping off of him, cleverly disguised by jokes and a devil-may-care attitude.

He felt the shift between them. Felt the way she squeezed his hand with confidence now, knowing that his flirting wasn’t a joke. That his casual contact wasn’t all that casual.

“Well… the jury’s still out on whether or not you’re a human or a synth,” she whispered with a grin. “I still haven’t tried your recall code on you.”

With that, Sole pressed her lips to Deacon’s. He hadn’t kissed Sole many times, so he didn’t have much to compare it to, but this kiss definitely felt different. Her hesitation was gone. Her lips were confident as they moved over his, and he smiled at her touch.

“Can we go back to that whole, dream business you were talking about a second ago?” Deacon asked, but Sole instantly silenced him with another kiss, which he was just fine with.

Her hands roamed slowly up his chest, as if she were taking her time to enjoy the moment. Goosebumps erupted all over his skin at her touch.

As she gently bit his bottom lip, something he definitely hadn’t expected from her, he couldn’t stop himself from being too aware of their surroundings. He wanted to melt into the kiss. He wanted to thoroughly enjoy this moment. There weren’t any more questions between them. They both understood each other finally.

But they were also in Railroad HQ. Anti-fraternization Zone Number 1. They may have been in the escape tunnel, but agents regularly used it as an overflow for the headquarters.

“Hey,” Deacon said, pulling away from Sole regretfully. Confusion lined her features. “So… I want this. You have absolutely no idea how much,” he began. “But… we’re not really in the best place for… grown up bonding time.”

Sole smiled up at him. “Doesn’t that sort of make it more exciting?” she asked.

What? Where had this Sole come from?

Not waiting for his response, she kissed him again, harder this time. He tried to exercise restraint.

He failed.

Instead, he pushed Sole up against the wall, parting her lips with his tongue and pressing his body against hers. Every fiber of his being burned to be even closer to her, but even with this bold new Sole that stood before him, he knew she wasn’t that type. She’d want to take things somewhat slow. And he was fine with that.

Besides, after years of being completely touch-starved, any contact was like a revelation for Deacon.

His hands found her waist, softly kneading the smooth skin there as his mouth moved against hers. She made a little noise that encouraged him further, prompting him to trail his kisses down to her collarbone instead.

She grabbed his hair in a slightly painful manner, but he didn’t mind. Instead, he focused on the very important work he was doing on her neck while her hands pulled him more firmly against her.

“Deeks,” she said breathlessly, though he hardly heard her. His lips were too preoccupied with just how perfect her neck seemed to be. How had he not noticed before? “Dea-con,” she said again, still just as breathless.

This time he heard her. And he loved the way his name sounded when she was the one saying it. The way her breath hitched at the end of the first syllable when he’d nipped at her neck. That desperate quality to her voice.

“Mmm?” he mumbled, now slowly moving his lips back towards hers.

“You…” but her words were cut off by another kiss. “Said we should be careful here?” she finally managed, between kisses. “About Des?”

This was more like the reserved Sole he knew. But he was enjoying himself too much. He was finally kissing her. Really kissing her. Not just for fun. Not as part of a ruse for a mission. Not in some psychotic funhouse where he wasn’t sure if she really wanted to or if it was just some weird trick of the drugs in Kiddie Kingdom.

Being able to touch someone after so long was like an oasis in a desert. And she saw him. Really saw him. That was normally the last thing he wanted from someone. But it was all he wanted with Sole.

“Screw it,” Sole said between another kiss before she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him harder against her body, shuddering as they crashed together.

“I already told you, I left a backup in the escape tunnel,” Tinker Tom said from somewhere near the room’s entrance. “Now if y’all would give me two seconds, I could actually go get it.”

Sole instantly broke the kiss, looking wide-eyed at Deacon in a panic. He pressed a finger against her lips and grabbed her hand. Without a word, Deacon pulled her towards the exit at the far end of the room. It would lead them out into the cool night air of The Commonwealth.

As he held her hand and pulled her behind him, he couldn’t stop the embarrassing little smile that broke across his face. He heard Sole giggle behind him and it only added to the pure unadulterated joy that was beginning to permeate his very being.

She saw him. She saw all of him. And she still wanted him.

------

Note: This fic makes me seem like I don’t like Danse. I actually love him! I just like to make fun of him :)

Also, if you enjoy my writing, I’m an author IRL. I’ve got 13 published books, but my favorite is Parrish. You should check it out if you like ghosts and love stories between weirdos.

[ceoofuwu]

𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒 ;; 𝘬𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘬𝘪 𝘹 𝘧.𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 𝟏.𝟔𝐤

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you may be Bakugo’s sister but, no one in U.A. had ever known about your existence, until you decided to pay a visit... little did you know that Bakugo wasn’t the only familiar person there...

𝐓.𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: cursing (there’s Bakugo here, you shouldn’t expect any less lmao)

«What?! Bakugo has a sister?!» Mina exclaimed as she entered the living room, hardly having heard the rest of the discussion.

She sat herself cheerfully next to Kirishima, who had actually made space for her, quite eager to keep up with the gossip.

Not that she didn’t have every reason to. Bakugo was mysterious, kept things simple and to himself, always maintaining a distant and goal-oriented attitude, which didn’t allow for much personal investment. Therefore, wasn’t it reasonable for any given “friend” of his to be bound by curiosity?

«Oh shut up! As if you should care, raccoon eyes» he retorted coldly, with a casual murderous glare following shortly.

However, with her happy-go-lucky mindset and the habit of ignorantly listening to the merciless insults of the young hero, the pinkette didn’t mind him at all.

«I should, because when I become a pro hero, she might use some rescuing from me!» she announced, pointing to her gleeful self.

«Thanks, but I believe I can manage on my own».

A smooth, velvet voice cut through the room as the tapping of graceful steps reverberated.  A pair of delicate legs strolling confidently, accompanying a perfectly-shaped body giving off waves of tremendous fortitude.

During the time Mina had spent in the Academy, she had never witnessed, not once Bakugo, the Bakugo, expressing his fear. Now, in the face of his sister, he was wearing a mask of exactly that feeling; terror.

«Is that… are you…» she attempted, feeling solely gaps of air leaving her mouth in stupefaction.

You ceased your pacing, offering everyone a friendly smile, escorted with a gentle wave of your hand.

«Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Y/n».

«…you can also call her dumbass» Bakugo mumbled between clenched teeth, intending to make an impression of dominance but also wishing to hide from the tyrant of a woman opposite of him.

«Shut your hole boom-boom idiot!»

An array of giggles filled the air, lighting up the ambiance and therefore breaking the ice, before you noticed a black-haired boy observing you in what seemed to be… dread?

«So she’s also taken after your terribly unhealthy anger issues, huh?» his eyes shifted to your smirking brother while he spoke in a modest and careful voice, as if he had selected his words with extreme cautiousness, one by one.

Another polite smile tugged at your lips, despite feeling quite displeased by your first impression. «I’m nothing like this walking temper tantrum», your gaze travelled around the room, inspecting it and gradually getting used to the surroundings, «…so you are his class… mates…»  your voice slowly faded away as you met with one specific, too familiar person in the room.

It couldn’t be… he couldn’t be here… or, could he? As far as you’re concerned you’re completely sane, which only means that you weren’t hallucinating. A lump had suddenly emerged in your throat and you’d swear your heart had skipped several beats upon realizing what was happening.

«Why the hell are you staring at dunce face?!» Bakugo yelled, fury steeping his features as the urge to protect you took over.

«Dunce… what?»

Denki slightly rolled his eyes, although he seemed to have gotten accustomed to his nickname, and sighed as he struggled to appear collected and unbothered.  «Me».

You scoffed and immediately covered your mouth with your hand, to prevent an inappropriate laughter from coming out. You didn’t really enjoy making fun of others, especially people like him who stood so close to you, but… this just sounded too fitting.

Denki blushed and immediately looked away, in his miserable attempt to be “discreet”.

«Do you guys know each other?» a familiar-looking redhead boy enquired, pointing between you and Denki. Your acquaintance had his mouth half-hanging open, as if he was about to say something, until he met with the frightful message in your look.

No.

You were quick to turn and face the redhead, with calmness written in your features and say: «Not at all, I mean… I hardly know any of you… um… Kirishima, isn’t it?»

The boy’s crimson eyes widened in surprise by the mention of his name.

Seems like I got it right.

«My brother tends to mention you a lot at home…» yet another wave of surprise washing over him, «…mostly how shitty your hair is…» you paused and pondered a little on your words, «…although I beg to differ» you beamed.

Kirishima’s face resembled a mixture of contentedness and dejection. You supposed and hoped that the former was on you.

Even so, for some odd reason, Bakugo was still keeping an eye on Denki. Not that the latter was acting with any prudence whatsoever, what with his nervously avoiding everyone’s eyes in the room.

«So… um… is there a bathroom… somewhere around here..?» you asked timidly, feeling the need to freshen yourself up and relieve some of the tension of this fairly messed up situation.

Soon after, thanks to your brother’s interference, you arrested yourself in that longed-for bathroom, taking a breather in silence and clearing your mind.

Before arriving at U.A. you weren’t really sure how to feel. On the one hand, you genuinely anticipated finally meeting all those amazing, gifted teens that had got themselves involved into so many scandalous episodes. On the other hand, you were doubting your social capabilities of interaction and trembled at the mere thought of stumbling over your words, or making a mess of something as simple a task as that, in general. In fact, an array of worst case scenarios was bombarding your head, even until the second you stepped your foot in that room.

However, discovering that Denki, your Denki, was actually one of the renowned class 1-A students?

That seemed nearly inconceivable to you.

Indeed, you had been dating with the guy for several months now, yet, without neither of you realizing, the hero studies topic had never been brought up; at least not in terms of specification.

So… Denki was a basically a hero… someone capable of coming to your rescue at any given moment… a hero…

«I hope you’re lost in your thoughts about me» an all too familiar voice was heard from the door.

Speak of the devil and the devil will come.

«Denki, what the hell?! How-- why did you come here?!» you called frantically, all the while taking alarming looks around to make sure your privacy was guaranteed.

«Don’t panic. We’re alone. Besides, my dorm is nearby~» he chimed, taking small steps closer to you simultaneously.

«So you used your dorm as an excuse to…?»

«Don’t play dumb, Y/n… you know better than anyone why I’m here…» your boyfriend whispered while slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against his slim body.

You felt the temperature rising in your cheeks and your mind suddenly going blank, as though a fuzzy mist had been blurring everything. You had decided to come here merely to relax before proceeding to make new acquaintances. You couldn’t figure out whether this was happening due to Denki being one hell of a horny pervert or his being a complete and utter idiot. Come to think of it, both statements were suitable at the moment.

In the meantime, Denki was ranting about his plans, his dorm and many other stuff that you didn’t care too much to pay attention to.

«You are a dunce face» you giggled, trying not to focus too much on his golden gaze, which almost pierced holes through your own eyes.

«What did you say?» his face was beginning to distort into a suggestive expression, his lips gradually stretching into a devilish smile.

«You… are… a dunce face» you repeated teasingly and more confidently this time, despite feeling the embarrassment crawling up on you on the inside.

«A dunce face…» he hummed after you, before pushing you gently against a wall, with you hardly realizing, «I wonder where you picked that up from…» he teased, his fingertips sliding underneath your shirt grazing your back, sending minor waves of electricity down your spine with every brush whilst eliciting slight gasps.

Your lust-blown eyes remained locked the entire time, forming some kind of connection, as your breaths were little by little merging into one and the space between you was getting smaller by every second passing. You couldn’t hold your urgencies back anymore; your arms glided on his shoulders, eventually getting wrapped around his neck, as your head titled to the side allowing to the blonde to lean in and touch his lips on yours.  

The subtle electroshocks being produced on your back combined with the feeling of soft lips dancing with even softer ones, wasn’t aiding you at all to restrain that low, throaty moan that escaped from your vocals.

The kiss was slow and yet, steeped with passion, dripping with all these raw emotions that were generated every time you’d encounter one another. Denki had you melting, desperately hanging on to him, as if he was your life line. As he nibbled on your bottom lip, you broke apart, both panting, your lungs burning for air, prior to your foreheads touching intimately, trying to calm your rapidly beating hearts.

«You should lock that doo—«

«GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER, DUNCE FACE!»

Before you even had the time to process what had just happened, Denki had done a runner, sprinting as fast as he could as he was being chased down by an infuriated Bakugo. It’s a pity you were marooned like this but, oh well, he was the one who had left the door unclosed….

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a heart, comment, reblog! 💕

[liibrii]

Chapter 1 of Stillness || yokai hunter!Suna x fem!kitsune!reader || wc: 3.3k || 🦊

Synopsis: Arrival of an unexpected visitor promises your coming days to be interesting...

Genre: supernatural!au, enemies to lovers, angst & fluff, eventual smut

Warnings: reader is a nuisance, fire, mentions of blood

a/n: I'm no expert on Japanese mythology. I did my research but also took creative liberties so please keep in mind the information on yokai in this fic is lacking. Here are some links with basic info on yokai appearing in this series. 

as always feedback is greatly appreciated and if you want to be tagged let me know!

A streak of the new highway is planned to cut through your favourite part of the forest, the one you walk through when heading east to the river kappas inhabit. First trees have already fallen. You caress the bark of the mighty maple that once touched the sky and now lays at your feet, cut and bleeding from the wounds humans inflicted. You still remember when it was a sprout pushing roots into earth and hungrily reaching for the sun rays. Half a century later you fell asleep under its shade and hid in his branches from those chasing you. Why is this how you say goodbye?

Forest spirits peek out of their hiding places, their terrified chimes fill the air. They cling to you, your clothes, your tails. Some you have to convince to leave the branches of the fallen trees, the hollows in their barks that have offered them sanctuary for so many long years. They cry in pain.

And pain has a way of turning into anger.

It's searing and all consuming, spreading through your body as bright blue flames shoot from your hands. They burn all standing in their path. Equipment of workers, their machines and their boxes of metal go up in flames. Truck standing by the fence catches on fire. You transform back into your fox form, running away as it explodes with a bang echoing through the night.

It's a lonely existence, being a kitsune. With years most of your kind have hidden in the forest, many have moved to cities living together with humans, pretending to be them. As if they could ever be. You hold a bit of pity for them but mostly you just don't understand. Why do they go where humans live? Why do they want to live as humans live? Humans are interesting and fun to observe, that much you never denied, but they are also cruel and blind and they drove so many of your kind away. Empty lairs is all they leave behind.

You water the flowers around the temple as you do every morning before heading to bed. From your pocket a forest spirit you've rescued from one of the fallen trees peeks out. Morning sun makes it blink and rattle in confusion. None of your words reassure it so you leave the matter be. It needs time. Time to breathe and time to heal. As you pull out some weeds from between the cobble stones it watches and chimes, sorrowfully.

“I can't say.“ Weeds in your hands catch aflame and whither. You lay them down on the black soil. “We will find you a nicer home. There is a beautiful cherry blossom tree growing by the entrance. Would you like that?“ It gives a soft chime. “We can have a look at it later, alright? Careful!“ you catch it on your outstretched palm. “Stay with me, I'm almost finished with my duties. Do you have a name? Ah I see,“ you nod when it chimes. “How about I call you Koda? Would you like that? Now make sure not to fall off again, alright?“ You help it climb on your shoulder.

Koda turns it's head in all directions taking in the sight. It's probably its first time seeing anything but endless sky and branches. Not that the temple is anything special. It's small, with only two wooden buildings in need of repair and pond you hold particularly dear. No ducks live near it. You brought a pair once in hopes they'd have ducklings to keep you company but sadly before a month passed they became dinner to passing yokai. Ever since the only ducks at the temple are the ones on the edges of the roof.

Surrounding trees grow closely together, casting long shadows over the roofs and the small yard. In their shade a steep staircase leads towards the entrance of the temple. Every morning and every evening you sweep the leaves from the stairs, picking up and keeping the ones you find particularly beautiful. The golden, the deep crimson, and bright green, ones sprouting first when spring arrives, are your favourite. Moss has overgrown most of the steps. Koda chimes for you to put it on it and it sits on the soft green blanket seeming calm for the first time. Its home was taken but what said it couldn't make a new one here, with you? The temple has been your home for as long as you can remember and you doubt you'll ever know any other.

Your new friend still watches in amazement (At least you think it's amazement. Even you find spirits' expressions hard to read) and when you return to check on offerings you consider waking Chochin to help you reassure it. After a short consideration you decide against the idea. The stillness of the early morning is your favourite part of the day after all and you'll hear from your possessed lantern before noon rolls around anyway. Besides Chochin would only scare already rattled Koda. You'd like to spare the spirit further shocks, at least for a while. Luckily most days the temple grounds stand deserted. With each passing year less and less humans come to pay their respect to Inari. Less and less fields are to be found in the area so it's no wonder they forget how much depends on good harvest. They take it for granted and they forget. If centuries have thought you anything is that humans are incredibly good at forgetting.

You're just about to sweep the two fox statues by the entrance when you catch the sound of approaching steps. One person. Must be an early riser. You make your tails disappear and straighten the sleeves of your hoodie before instructing Koda to hide.

A young man steps through the tori gate. He's tall and lanky, a beanpole with dark hair. Most people pant and heave for air when reaching the top. He looks like he just took a pleasant stroll in the park. He takes in his surroundings then walks over to you. “Good morning,“ he greets with a polite smile that doesn't quite reach his slanted eyes.

There's an aura surrounding him. You can tell he's the kind of man people take a second glance at when passing him by. If you asked them why they'd give you a confused look. “I, I have no idea,“ they'd answer, “There was... something.“ If you asked them an hour later they'd be even more confused because they have already forgotten about him. But he is the kind of a man who wants to be forgotten. How else would he hunt yokai in peace?

“Morning,“ you return the pleasantries. Koda in your pockets shivers.

“I'd like to pay my respects. Can I offer alone or-?“ If he's embarrassed by being unsure of how to proceed you can't tell it from his face. You show him to the temple and excuse yourself, aware of how his eyes follow you as you walk across the small courtyard. You don't want him here. But you can't deny him entry.

He doesn't scare you. He's as green as sprouting grass, too young to have any real experience. He probably only recently accepted yokai are real and not just a folktale used to scare children. You might be the first he'd ever meet. At least one that isn't harmless. Still there is something about his calm voice and bored expression that keeps you alerted.

Koda peeks out of your pocket and chimes, worriedly. “We'll see,“ you murmur in response and head over to the pond. It's so empty. Should you get some koi fish? Or would they all too soon become dinner too? Many of those yokai who remain are growing hungrier. Wilder. Hearing approaching footsteps you wonder if that is what brought Mr Witch to your humble abode.

“I've heard there's a kitsune living around here.“

You straighten and turn to face the unwelcome visitor. Was someone else in your shoes they'd act smart and deny their nature. But you can tell he isn't asking. He's just confirming what he already knows. “There is.“

Visibly taken aback he hesitates. “Is it you?“

“I am.“ You don't like his eyes. They are too fox-like.

He bows politely. “I'm Suna Rintarou.“

“Good for you.“

He ignores the poison in your voice. “News of someone destroying the construction site has reached Inarizaki Clan.“ Ah, that explains the lack of fear. If he's here with the backing of a clan naturally he'd feel secure enough to directly challenge you. “I was sent to let the ones responsible know their efforts are meaningless. The road will be built no matter what you- What they do.“

“Ask? Your kind doesn't ask.“

“This might be the one for history books then.“ His face irks you. There's no fear, no nerves showing, no twitch of his mouth or fingers to betray what he's thinking. Humans are as easy to read as open books but the young man in front of you is a blank sheet of paper.

“Leave,“ is all you answer.

To your surprise he bows and obeys. Watching him leave you think he should straighten up.

As the sun rises higher you head to bed, newcomer so heavy on your mind he haunts your dreams. The sole presence of a yokai hunter is something to be worried about. First one comes, then a second, next your kind is being chased away. The only reason you're still here is because the humans can't seem to figure out a way to chase you away for good. Not that they haven't tried. If only they knew worst things live deep in the woods.

When evening falls you sweep the stairs and leave still rattled Koda besides Chochin who disapprovingly rolls it's one eye at you.

The town is only a short run away. It's small, at least you think so since there aren't many you've visited in your relatively short life. You know every nook and cranny, you know which tombstones are nekomata's favourite, you know which of the old street cats will soon join them. They can be a handful but they're the closest thing to friends you have. You pass the old house where teenagers like to gather. Its cellar has been home to keukegen for years now. You catch a glimpse of a few leaving. No doubt the fault of that damn visitor.

The place he's staying at is easy to find. How careless of him. All you have to do is follow the magic of protective charms scattered across the town back to its source. They're sloppy. Almost as if a child made them. But some of them are particularly well made. Work of another clan member perhaps?

You hide in the bushes of the garden surrounding a small house. Mr Witch left the sliding door open. Even in the garden you smell herbs meant to ward away evil spirits. He's sitting on the floor and watching a curious looking thin screen similar to ones you've seen down at the train station. He seems disinterested. When he stands up and leaves the room you silently creep closer to peek inside. The smell of herbs is stronger here. You don't find it unpleasant though many of your yokai friends would disagree.

On the screen you see a map of the town. More maps lay on the low table. Some have scribbles you can't quite read, arrows, and question marks. You hear him returning and scurry back in the safe embrace of darkness and bushes. He sits back down to continue his work, not noticing you were in his home. You lean your head on your paws and watch.

Following Suna around becomes a daily routine. You sweep the stairs in the morning and water the flowers then run the fastest your legs can carry you to the town. Luckily for you he likes sleeping in. His days are uneventful. Boring to be honest. He eats breakfast. Goes to town. Looks at historical monuments downtown. Sits on the only bench in the park and eats ice cream. Heads to library. From time to time he visits the construction site to inquire if there have been any more incidents. There were a few but none of them were your doing. Mr Witch doesn't actually think you're the only one enraged by the new road, does he? Honestly as much as you detest it you're also a little relieved humans haven't decided to build over the northern part of the forest. That would be a lot more troublesome.

You follow on a safe distance as he inspects the surrounding trees, no doubt to chase away the remaining forest spirits. For a very long time he inspects some footprints. You carefully step closer trying to see what caught his attention. Suddenly he stands up and continues on his way. As you follow you glance at the ground. Ah, of course.

He heads back to town after that, returns home and you return to your spot in the bushes. Sun hasn't set yet,  the day is still warm so he brings a low table out on the porch and pours two glasses of dark bubbly liquid.

“Are you going to keep hiding or will you join me for a drink? I have some tofu I can fry if you want. Kitsune like it, right?“ he asks without looking in your direction.

Crap. Well, no point in trying to be sneaky anymore. You step out, head raised high and your tails gracefully swaying with each step. A silver gem radiating light balances on the middle one. Once you reach porch you shapeshift to a human and hide the gem from Suna's eyes. You don't bother hiding the tails though and you take a sit across from him, carefully eyeing and sniffing the contents of the glass.

“Only three tails?“

“Are you judging my age?“

“Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.“ That's not what his face says. “Thank you for leaving the construction site be,“ he chats on seemingly unbothered by your icy glare. “You must've noticed those footprints too, right? Have any idea where I might find the owner?“

“That sounds like your job Mr Witch.“

“It's Suna actually.“ He keeps talking like you're old acquaintances and it's making your blood boil. “Can I ask for your name? Don't want to call you Miss Kitsune.“

“Why are you here?“

Suna gulps down half of his drink before answering. “To make sure construction continues without any accidents. You seem to think yourself some kind of a yokai protector. Then I'm a protector of humans.“

You bark a laugh. “As if your kind needs protecting.“

“All the people getting sick from those keukegen would disagree.“

“Sounds like it's their fault for not staying away from infested places,“ you retort.

“Then one easy fix would be getting rid of those infested places.“

“An undertaking you have no doubt already started.“

“I'm just doing my job.“

“You can't chase them away for long you know. Your kind has tried before. They always come back.“

You've hoped your words would elicit a response from him. Anything. A trace of frustration, an arrogant grin. Suna pours himself another glass. “Do you want some ice?“

“What I would very much like is for you to leave.“

A grin flashes over his face. “Get used to my presence because I won't go away for a very long time.“

So this is how he wants to play. He isn't the tiniest bit alerted when you abruptly stand up. “We'll see.“

Your daily routine continues. The only difference is you no longer care to hide. Wherever Suna goes you're not far behind. He wants to stay, play the protector of humans, does he? Pathetic. He doesn't seem to be bothered by you following him around. Just slightly unimpressed. It makes you want to set his pants on fire. Just to get a reaction. Just to see his expression change.

“How long do you plan on following me?“

“Who says I'm following you? World doesn't revolve around you Mr Witch. Maybe I just wanted to buy myself some mochi. Have you considered that?“ You pretend to be interested in melons on the shelf. “Aren't these kind of expensive?“

Suna ignores your question. “I'm grocery shopping. There are no yokai here. And I haven't even harmed anyone.“

“Yet. Such a short word. Yet. Somebody has to keep an eye on your nasty tricks.“ You peek into his shopping cart. “Instant ramen and crab chips? Even I know humans need some you know,“ you wave your hand trying to remember what it's called but the word is buried too deep in your memory, “healthy food!“ you say instead and place the most expensive melon in the cart. “Like fruit for example.“

“Put it back.“

“It's healthy.“

“It's expensive.“

“I got money.“ You pull a bundle of bank notes from your pocket.

He puts the melon back on the shelf and grabs the cart with more force than necessary. You hum contently before putting the money in your pocket where it changes back to leaves you picked up last autumn.

The sheer number of different products on the shelves amazes you. And also makes you a little sad. All the offering humans bring to the temple are just rice and tofu and sometimes curry. Not that you don't like rice and tofu but why can't they bring one of all these colourful sweets? Or the chips Suna just put in the cart. Would he notice if one of the bags disappeared?

Walking past the vegetable stand you grab three cucumber packages and plop them down in his cart. You notice he added a bag of brown rice to it.

“Really? Three packages?“ he asks.

“They're a gift for kappas up the stream,“ you smile, innocently.

“Buy them yourself. You got money, don't you?”

“Why, would you like some? What's the matter Mr Witch, job doesn't pay well? Maybe you should consider a career that doesn't rely on destroying our lives.“

“Maybe you should live a life that doesn't harm others.“

You grin, satisfied. And so facade begins to crumble. A loud cough distracts you from throwing back another insult. An older man gives the two of you a disapproving look before returning to reading labels.

Suna grabs the cart and continues his way to the next item on the crumpled shopping list. You trail behind looking like a lost puppy peeking from behind him to see what the next item on the list is, adding new items to the cart Suna immediately puts back in their place. Even by the register you add one more package of chewing gum to the pile.

“At least take one with a fruity flavour,“ says Suna so you grab two more packages with watermelon on them. You think you see his eye twitch though it might be just your imagination. While he puts the groceries in a bag you snatch a chocolate bar from the nearest shelf, then follow him outside to take the cucumbers from the bag he's holding.

“You've been quite busy yesterday,“ you remark as you walk down the street.

“Since you followed me around the entire time I take it you weren't.“ He outstretches his hand. “Your stuff was 700 yen. Pay up.“

You give him a crumbled wrapper.

“Any particular reason you're interested in the old Nishikawa house?“ you ask, continuing to smile innocently when Suna glares at you and puts the wrapper in his pocket.

“I thought you were the local expert on all things paranormal in this town. I'll let you guess twice.“ He peels the sticker off the bananas and sticks it on your forehead. “See you around Miss Kitsune.“

Ch. 2: Red beneath the moon

tag list: @blurring-stars

[underworld-of-imagines]

Coffee Shops - Spencer Reid

Important Note: Spencer is about 18-19 in this story!

A/N: So I wrote this one on a whim. No real plan for it but I kinda liked how it turned out. By the way, Spencer is about 18-19 in this story, so pre-FBI academy, still at university. With that aside, hope you guys enjoy!

    Spencer sighed deeply as his body melted into the worn leather armchair, immediately crossing one leg over the other. The mug of coffee burned his hand, but he refused to relinquish his hold on it, as if it was the only thing keeping him alive at that moment. Honestly, if it wasn’t for this shop being the only one open at 8pm, he might not have been alive. Solely because without a coffee exactly every four hours, he was practically a zombie.

    Having finally taken a few sips of the sweet coffee, he felt his eyelids slowly begin to open. With that, he finally decided to take in the small café. Along one wall was an astonishing display of old books. He could make out a few of the titles, some were in English, most were in French. Across the corner from him was a couple, enjoying a quiet coffee date. Unsurprisingly, the café was very quiet, a few people were scattered about, but it was mostly couples on a date.

    In the quiet café, his eyes were quickly drawn to the girl sitting in the corner, you. He watched you curiously, taking mental notes of how you were acting, and that you were very obviously deep in a book. It wasn’t meant to be staker-ish, you were simply very intriguing to the boy.

    “Excuse me.” He looked up, shocked that you were now standing in front of him.

    “You were staring,” you stated. He hadn’t realised.

    “I’m sorry, you just intrigue me,” he apologised, shifting up in his chair.

    “You’re lucky your cute, is this seat taken?” You asked, not waiting for his reply before you sat down in it. He stared at you in shock, an almost aghast expression on his face. “I’m sorry, this was taken, wasn’t it?” When he shook his head, you looked at him, confused.

    “Sorry I’m just in shock that you’re talking to me.” He admitted, much against his own will.

    “You’re not someone famous are you?” He shook his head, a small smile on his face. “Okay, and you’re not a murderer, rapist, or just someone who hurts people are you?” Shaking his head again, you smiled. “Good, so then I don’t see a problem with talking to you, do you?” Taking a sip of your hot chocolate, you leaned back into your chair.

    “How did you know I was staring?” He questioned, resting a long arm on his leg.

    “Call it eyes in the back of my head, or a sixth sense, or whatever you will. I felt someone staring at me, wasn’t hard to figure out who.” You smirked at him, taking another sip of your hot chocolate whilst maintaining eye contact.

    “There’s no such thing,” he stated. “It hasn’t been scientifically proven, though many have tried to prove that it’s true, they haven’t proved anything at all.” He continued, rambling on about the statistics of failed studies that never even made it to publishing because of inherent errors in the studies. All simply based off of the experiments themselves because they were built wrong.

    “What’s to say that there isn’t? Just because it hasn’t been proven yet doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Everything we’ve discovered existed before we discovered it. Isaac Newton didn’t invent gravity,” you pointed out. He couldn’t argue with your reasoning, instead he just opened and shut his mouth like a fish. “Spencer Reid, I suggest that you think about things deeply before denying stuff.” He stared at you in confusion.

    “How do you know my name?” He questioned, slightly creeped out by the revelation.

    “We used to share a class together a year or so ago. For a genius with an IQ of 187 who can read up to 20,000 words per minute, you really don’t recognise me?” He shook his head, trying to recall which class he shared with you.

    “I tried to avoid most people in my classes. People tend to get offended by someone being younger and smarter than them.” True, that was a fact you had learnt in your psychology class, and just in life in general. “But this still doesn’t excuse the fact that there is no study proving the existence a sixth sense,” he reminded.

    “Yet. There isn’t a study yet. I plan to be the first.” It was true, you had just gotten the ethics approval for your PhD study, looking into the science behind a sixth-sense.

    “How old are you?” He was genuinely curious of your age, because you looked younger, but acted older.

    “17,” you stated proudly. “Already doing my first PhD.” He stared at you in shock. “What Spencer Reid? Thought you were the only genius in Los Angeles?” That’s when he noticed your book, an original copy, written in France. Checking your watch, you frowned at the time. “Sorry, gotta run. Maybe I’ll see you around again,” you smiled before putting your mug down and rushing out of the café.

     He stared in shock as you walked out of the café and across the street, he never even managed to get your name. Frowning, he took a sip of coffee before looking down at the table, noticing a piece of paper wedged under your mug. Opening it, he smiled gently to himself. On it, was a neatly written name, your name.

[pollylynn]

Title: Pigeonholed WC: 1100 Episode: Pandora (4 x 15)

He doesn’t think of himself as someone who compartmentalizes. He objectively isn’t someone who compartmentalizes, right? He’s got a decade and a half of regular appearances on Page 6 to back him up on that. But, of course, the man on Page 6 is, for the most part, a persona—an aspect of himself that he has slipped on and off over that same stretch of time as needed. And that kind of implies that when he’s not needed, he’s stowed away in a . . . compartment-like thing.

But that’s not really a compartment of his own making. It’s just a compartment he had to toss up in a hurry, with some pretty shoddy materials at his disposal, entirely because he had a professional identity to manage, long before anyone called them brands, and he had sole responsibility for keeping his daughter well clear of not only his own professional identity, but her mother’s too.

So, yes, he has had one sturdy compartment thrust upon him by circumstance, and okay, fine, that’s how compartments work for him and the rest of the known world, but that is it. And it’s pretty low of every last one of them to be so damned gleeful that the walls of said compartment look like the Kool-Aid Man, The Thing, and The Hulk tried to have a tea party in it. It’s pretty damned low that not a single one of them—and every single one of them knew—thought to give him the courtesy of a heads-up about the impending compartment smashing. And it is particularly low that Kate Beckett, Queen of Compartments, is not extending him an iota of sympathy here, when he’s just trying to protect his kid.

Except he’s not trying to protect his kid. Oh, he can make the case that he is. Or rather, the bizarre case during which the treachery of everyone around him has been revealed is making the case for him. She has been one swinging door away from a body snatcher. She has showed up just a handful of minutes after his own abduction by shadowy conspirators. He should be crowing about it. He should be hiring a skywriter to deliver the flashiest, most Page 6–worthy I Told You So in Manhattan’s history so that everyone who has ever taunted him for being overprotective—everyone who has ever dared question the necessity of the one damned compartment he has—can read it and weep.

But the case for that explanation for this particular compartment is circumstantial. It doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, not even in the confines of his own affronted mind.

He’s not protecting his daughter, he’s protecting . . . him. Not in the sense of himself, just . . . him. He is a person he doesn’t feel like he knows well, at least not yet. He is a person who—now that he’s looking at the ruins of the lone compartment he’s always been so sure he had—occupies one of a hundred compartments. It’s a recent construction, and it’s small. It has a blanket fort vibe to it, and it’s where the person he is when he’s with her hangs out when he’s not with her.

So, really, he’s protecting them. Because there’s the her next door. He knows her even less than him, but there’s not a doubt in his mind that she has a blanket-fort compartment—recent construction—of her own, whether She, the keeper of the keys to the compartments, realizes it or not.

There’s the person she gets to be—wants to be—when she’s with him. She’d told him as much that day on the swing set. Or not so much told him as much as she’d worked subtext harder than even the two of them had ever worked it before.

And there’s the person he gets to be—wants to be—when he’s with her. And he hasn’t told her as much. He hasn’t worked subtext. He has, in fact, serially evaded when she asked why he keeps coming back, what they are to one another. He given him the bum’s rush right back to the blanket fort any time the subject comes up. And still, he hopes she knows—he hopes she can see—who it is he gets to be and wants to be, at least when there’s nobody around.

It’s pretty lame. Even he can see that from the ruins of his compartments. Even he can see it long before Sophia Turner shows up and it suddenly seems like he’s more divvied up into tiny compartments than a Japanese micro hotel.

But Sophia Turner does show up and there’s another ready-made case for why she’s entirely behind door number whatever—why the very fact of her existence is behind door number whatever, even though he’s based a damned character on her. Her work provides cover. It provides the perfect not-my-compartment excuse for why he’s never so much as spoken of her, let alone clued anyone into the fact that the twelfth—that Beckett—is not his first shadowing rodeo.

But she comes out of her blanket fort. She peeks her head out anyway, even though the denizen of some other compartment is mostly running the show. But she is in there, too, adding timidity to the awkward mixture of don’t care/how dare you? She puts her shoulder into it and knocks down an adjoining wall—she de-compartmentalizes and says she’s a little bit taken aback. She asks him who he is, who he wants to be.

He runs the first time. He talks in circles and tells truths so circumscribed they might as well not exist. He’s a coward, huddled in his blanket fort.

And then he learns that she is bolder than he’s dared imagine. She talks to Lanie about him—right now, she’s probably just wondering aloud about whether he exists at all. But she talks about him to Lanie, and he’s just been assuming all this time that the blanket fort in which she dwells is hermetically sealed when she is not with him, he is not with her.

But here’s proof to the contrary. Here’s evidence of the work she is doing, and he’s ashamed of how guarded he’s been—he is still being. So he goes to her. He tells her she is partner, he swears she can ask him anything about Sophia. He works the subtext so she’ll know that she can ask him about anything and he’ll answer. He hold the flap of the blanket fort open and invites her in.

A/N: It's a lack of morphousness in a blanket fort inside a box.

images via homeofthenutty

[heinzpilsnergonewild]

Vegeta’s Character Analysis Looooooooooong Read

Oh my, what can I say? I just really love to write long essays in a language that isn’t even native to me, lol.

Well, nobody’s perfect, I guess. ... Were you expecting a Cell joke here? I may not be perfect, but that doesn't mean I have to be that predictable.

Ahem, anyway.

This isn't exactly a psychological analysis of the character - more like, hmm, a storytelling analysis. Or something in between, really.

You may not find anything fundamentally new in this text, but I definitely had fun writing it, haha.

It's mostly amateur. I have a useless psychology degree, but not a literature one.

My classic rant about vegebul fics is included, of course.

Summary: proper psychological analysis requires a single continuous personality, which Vegeta simply doesn’t have.

The more I think about Vegeta, the more I come to the conclusion that he is only pretending to be a consistently evolving character.

In fact, he's a bit like 10 different characters in one, which abruptly replace each other (and that's without considering the difference caused by the voice actors’ approach and the changes in his looks). Essentially, Vegeta's a collection of disparate images, arbitrarily lined up by Toriyama and hastily glued together. And the beginning of this line is so far from the end of it that these two extreme images cannot be perceived as belonging to the same person. Well, because human psychology just doesn't work that way.

(Not that Vegeta is unique in this respect – it’s a common feature of characters in long stories that authors compose as they write. Still, his case is quite extreme and interesting as example.)

I mean, take Vegeta in the Saiyan or the Namek arc. He's a complete psychopath. He clearly doesn’t suffer at heart from the unnecessary violence (as, for example, Guts from Berserk). His behavior looks like something natural for him, not an unhealthy defensive reaction. He enjoys it, he smiles happily, killing and torturing weak innocent people. And such a degree of psychopathy is not something that can be healed by a couple of deep personality crises or years of peaceful family life. Vegeta's redemption arc works through strong emotional impact and forgetfulness of the audience, but makes very little sense when viewed in retrospect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps the biggest, hmm, splitting of the personality occurred with Vegeta right after the Namek arc. Toriyama had already made a small retcon of the character’s motives before (to include Vegeta in the context of the Freeza army after the Saiyan arc), but it didn't feel that drastic.

You see, until Vegeta was invited to Bulma’s house…..

(Gosh, Toriyama, you could’ve done it more subtly, really. Vegeta killed Yamcha, threatened to kill Bulma, gutted Zarbon in front of her eyes, slaughtered an entire Namekian village... Oh well.)

…Ahem, anyway, right up to Bulma's invitation, Vegeta looked to me like a character who, hmm, has a life of his own? I mean, you have always felt that his motives and behavior were generated by the bizarre social system, not related to the little world of Goku and his friends. Simply put, Vegeta was a natural product of the big space civilization, an organic part of it. His whole personality was formed by it, all his plans, motivation and ambitions were associated with it. And although in the Saiyan arc, he gave the impression of an independent entrepreneurial chief at the head of a small hierarchy, in the Namek arc it was revealed that Vegeta is actually far from independent. He lost his throne and his people, he was in slavery to the tyrant all his life, and wants to take power for himself. So, his social background and the motives caused by it post factum get much more complex. But in short, Vegeta wanted a highest possible position in the hierarchy he knew. In this way, he was… social? His belonging to the Saiyan race was only a small (although important) part of the overall picture. Because the Saiyans were dead, but the Freeza Empire was alive.

But when Toriyama realized Vegeta's popularity and decided to keep him in the story after Namek, it came as a blow to the character's personality. Apparently, the author simply couldn't come up with an elegant way that could keep the character in all its complexity around, and therefore did a very clumsy thing. He roughly cut Vegeta out of his social context and almost forcibly glued him to the main character group like a poorly done appliqué. But although you see rough edges and glue drips, the story moves on rapidly, distracting you with Freeza and Future Trunks, and you don't stop to think about what happened. This is how, almost imperceptibly, Toriyama changed Vegeta's motives (and, consequently, the basis of his personality). Yes, Vegeta's saiyan pride was also significant part of his character previously, but when it became his sole and central motivation after Namek, you feel like a very big and important piece of him has been arbitrarily cut off. This wouldn't have happened if Toriyama had followed the logic of previously established social motives, rather than his desire to make Vegeta a convenient figure. Now, bound hand and foot by the author, the character is forced to behave as the plot requires.

Still, all this can be justified by the fact that Vegeta experienced a deep emotional shock as a result of death, which forced him to rethink his life priorities and wait for Goku (especially in the manga, where he just lived with Bulma for a whole year after Namek, without even trying to use dragonballs) ... And then he waited for the androids (despite the final death of Freeza and his father, which was an excellent chance to try to take over the decapitated empire). Anyway, this rationalization doesn't negate the fact that the character, as a result, has lost a significant part of the fire that he demonstrated in the Namek arc. His new energy, the energy of obsession with surpassing Goku, turns him into a new character – bitter, marginalized and focused on training.

(Ironically, the very splitting that made him a less attractive character in my eyes allowed vegebul to take place. After all, imagining the romantic relationship of the nice Bulma and Vegeta at the height of his villainous ambition is really difficult. That just would be a psychologically implausible story.)

In the Android and Cell arcs, after brief glimpses of the SSJ superiority, Toriyama turned Vegeta into a plot tool, whose personality flaws he could use to spoil the situation favorable for the heroes. As a result, Vegeta continued to be an angry and unhappy character who has lost most of his charisma, but on top of that, he also started to be really annoying. ... Still, also kinda amusing thanks to his truly impressive inability to draw obvious conclusions from the ego bruises he gets.

(If you ask me, the character's biggest contribution to the Cell arc was to ignore the existence of condoms, lol. Although strictly speaking even it was an achievement of Future Vegeta (RIP). But seriously, Vegeta's relationship with Trunks turned out to be one of the few things that I was really interested in about this part of the story.)

And then there was Goku’s death and the 7-year-gap. ... At the end of which Vegeta still didn't look like a happy man who has found his place in the world. Even though he had seven whole years (and a spaceship) to change something. I mean, this is the case when it'd be logical to expect changes in the character, but for some reason they didn't really happen (or they did, but veeery quietly and unstable). I mean, Vegeta trains with Trunks, yes. And he's married to Bulma now, apparently (which we learn only at the end of the arc though). And he hasn’t killed himself yet, which means that he sees some meaning in his existence. Hurray, I guess?.. The problem is that when we first see Vegeta after the timeskip, he keeps walking around with such a sullen expression, as if Goku had died just yesterday. (Remember Vegeta in the Saiyan arc? He smiled quite often. For the wrong reasons, but hey.) Basically, Toriyama tried to sit on two chairs at the same time here - 1) keep Vegeta as recognizable as possible (because he hasn't decided what to do with him yet) and 2) keep him around (which doesn't make sense for the character if he hasn't undergone significant changes during the timeskip). And the result of this hesitant approach is an undesirable effect - it feels as if Vegeta hasn't built a new life for himself all these years, but only waited for Goku to return.

As if the man is unable to evolve without Goku's influence. Until Kakarot does or says something, or is just around, everyone else in Vegeta's life and his own reflection has little or no meaning. Old social ambitions? His wife and child? New insights gained from life on Earth? Pffft. Goku is able to destroy the seven years’ worth progress (no matter how small it may seem) in one day, and at the same time, one fight with him is enough for Vegeta's character development to jump forward explosively. It sounds like a solid ground for shipping, but In fact it’s just a direct consequence of the author's poorly chosen narrative structure.

The thing is, Toriyama tend to avoid romance and slices of life, and shows Vegeta's personality mainly through fights and their consequences. And at the time Goku just turned out to be the only significant character for Vegeta, the fight against whom could be used as an excuse to develop the character in front of the audience. Well, Toriyama couldn't get Vegeta to fight Bulma or himself, you know.

I believe that the plot structure chosen by the author (rapidly changing action events immediately after a long timeskip) is not a very good basis for a redemption arc. For a good redemption, a character had to have screen time during which small changes accumulate gradually, between the big points. And Vegeta simply didn't have it. Besides, the scheme by which Vegeta develops is really messy. Because at first, Toriyama kinda froze his development at the neutral point (thereby partially devaluing the influence of Vegeta's family on him). Then in one moment, the author abruptly reversed even this the-end-of-the-Cell-arc development with Majin Vegeta (this time completely devaluing the family factor, because the betrayal was Vegeta’s conscious decision). God, how I hated the Majin Vegeta idea. And in the next scene, the author made a quick retcon, which gave the family’s influence the status of a ground for Vegeta’s personal growth again for no apparent reason. It's as if a huge bundle of family values was post factum squeezed into the character in defiance of everything that we just saw with our own eyes. This is a complete narrative mess.

But... oddly enough, Vegeta's redemption still manages to work, and work spectacularly. My guess is that it's because by that time the audience is already SO sick of Vegeta, frozen in his bitter anti-heroism, that it desperately wants the author to finally do something new with the miserable guy. Well, at least get him out of his misery. So people are willing to accept it in any possible form.

... And the author chose the form of a powerful emotional catharsis. The explosion was legendary, haha.

I don't even know if this is a good reason to call Toriyama a genius (after all, he found a very clever way out of a difficult situation, in which he found himself thanks to his own bad decisions.)

The only thing I'm sure of is that despite everything I was very sad because of Vegeta's death. I didn't even realize that I had become emotionally attached to this asshole until he made such a spectacular exit, lol. As if something had broken inside of me, and all the analyticity of my mind couldn’t prevent it. I was surprised when I found myself crying really hard - usually my emotions don't reach this level due to fictional stories. (Well, maybe it was due to the fact that my own father was dying of cancer at that time, and the moment just triggered my emotions. ... Oops, it seems a little too personal, doesn't it? Well, at the end of the day, this fact is an integral part of my unique dbz experience. Come to think of it, in dbz, fathers die regularly).

But while this scene greatly affects emotions and forces a new viewer (or reader) to truly reconsider their attitude towards the character for the first time, the absence of a neat gradual movement towards this moment weakens its influence somewhat.

At this point, Vegeta’s character splits once again (perhaps the last time within DBZ). You simply cease to understand who this man really is and who he was before.

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Now, when I look at all the images of Vegeta in general, I come to the conclusion that I like this character the most in the first two arcs and in the end of the last arc. Two directly opposite moral poles.

(Funny enough, because my initial reaction to Vegeta and Nappa was annoyance: "Well hello, the next stereotypical villains who like to chat and laugh maliciously instead of simply killing their victims." (Still, against the background of Freeza, Vegeta turned out to be a much lesser evil in every sense, haha). You see, usually I'm not a person who likes villains. Basically, I only distinguish such characters from others as a result of romance or redemption. It’s only after that I begin to see aesthetics in their villainous charisma as well.)

And now, in retrospective, I believe that at the beginning of the story Vegeta is at the maximum of his vitality and charisma. Especially compared to his ever-crisis moody version (who supposedly lives happily with a loving family). In the Saiyan arc, he's objectively the most powerful character (Freeza didn’t even exist in Toriyama's head at the time). Vegeta is domineering, playful and unpredictable, but most importantly - his self-confidence is fully justified. Oh well, it was good while it lasted. He's really in control. These are, if I may say so, quite exciting qualities in a man, haha. Even if he looks like an evil dwarf in stupid armor and bullies some weaklings. I'd even say his demeanor in the Saiyan arc (especially with the voice of early Horikawa) is suspiciously easy to translate into a sexual context (well, until he loses control and gets hysterical, lol).

The Namek arc, placing Vegeta in a broader context, somewhat spoiled his original image (after all the big words, it turned out that he was running errands for Freeza all this time), but gave him a more interesting background and a strong drive. He had ambitions and a socially significant goal, and he actively and passionately fought for them against a clearly superior enemy. In addition, his inability to defeat Freeza by brute force forced him to use his brains from time to time, and not just pull another power up out of his ass, as is now traditionally done in DragonBall. (Needless to say, I consider high intelligence to be one of the most attractive traits). All this made his position in the plot as interesting as possible. He literally sparkled with energy.

Well, we know what happened next. Brain Death, an eternal chase after Goku, and an off-screen family life on a backwater planet that Vegeta is supposedly happy with. Until he suddenly became a really beautiful character without a proper justification for this (well, at least the explosion was spectacular). Really, I like the general concept of redemption, and yet... the way Toriyama portrays it in the story just doesn't work convincingly enough for me.

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Another point I’d like to cover in this already too long essay ahhh I'm a monster is Vegeta’s personality in fanfiction.

Reproducing (?) Vegeta is a bit like playing with a lego set - his personality and behavior is always the result of a conscious reconstruction, which is based around a specific point on the long contradictory line. Depending on which end of the spectrum the chosen point is, the author is forced to shade facts related to the opposite end, or to give new context to Vegeta's past (or future) actions. It's always noticeable when the author extends the later, sympathetic Vegeta's image to an earlier segment of the story. Apparently, it's possible to kill the person who raised you (with an evil smile on your face) just because the situation was too stressful lol. Likewise, when the authors allow Vegeta to remain a charismatic psychopath, the story wouldn't work without ignoring some parts of the later canon.

(And, of course, there is always a "medium" type of Vegeta - Vegeta from the 3-year-gap, whose personality is almost entirely based on anime fillers. Yay, here comes the promised vegebul rant

Honestly, I'm pretty tired of this "gravity room exploded again woman grrr" type of Vegeta.

Because if you take the manga, we have no idea how Vegeta actually behaved with Bulma and her parents, what his training regimen was, and what he did in his free time besides unprotected sex. People elevate his rudeness and irrational self-torturing to the absolute because of all these filler patterns, but this is just one of the possible versions of the events and the character's behavior during this time (albeit partly canonical). But... there are also alternatives. There are smart Vegeta, curious Vegeta, civilized Vegeta. Honestly - I don't think Bulma would've married him later if there was nothing in his personality that’d make communication with him enjoyable. I mean, she's a rich modern woman, she doesn't need a husband just for convenience and Vegeta is a marginal freeloader anyway. And if we subtract good looks (which people often attribute to Vegeta) from the equation, then the idea that he has no interest in anything other than training and cannot maintain an interesting conversation becomes completely unconvincing. Toriyama clearly didn't attach much importance to the fact of their marriage, and generally avoided romantic scenes as if they were on fire (and, perhaps, did the right thing), but these two just had to be capable of adequate and mutually pleasant personal interaction in order to take this step.

In general, Toriyama's lack of attention to most aspects of the characters' lives other than fighting and training, on the one hand, can be considered a drawback of DBZ, but on the other, it creates a lot of room for fans' imagination. But not everyone uses it. Most authors generally repeat the same tropes over and over again and don't try to look at the three-year-gap from a new angle, although the canon provides all the possibilities for this. Because of this, fics in this genre often seem boring. But in fact, it's not the setting itself that is boring, but only dusty formulas in the heads of the authors.)

Ahem, so where were we?.. Oh yes.

Actually, Vegeta's inconsistency is a very handy character trait for the authors, as it minimizes the chance of accidental OOC. Indeed, it's quite difficult to make someone to behave out of character if he has many different canon versions of himself, lol. On the other hand, this leads to the fact that the character seems to... kinda disintegrate. You never see his whole face, because he simply doesn't have it. As a result, Vegeta turns into a mosaic that must be reassembled each time. And I keep staring at this crazy kaleidoscope like an idiot.

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Well, that's... quite a lot of contradictions in my relationship to Vegeta, haha. Still, life without contradictions would be somewhat boring, I guess.

Thanks for your attention I suppose?..... lol, as if someone really got to this point

The End.

P.S. 1: The antisocial version of Vegeta who doesn't understand stupid human rituals and hates crowds, but puts up with it for the sake of his family is my spirit animal, haha. This is just so damn relatable to my autistic personality. Maybe I'm an alien myself.

P.S. 2: Actually, my favorite dbz character is Piccolo. Yep.