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tired-truffle · 1 month ago

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Something's Gotta Give

A CullenxLavellan fic

Chapter Word Count: 5.6k

Part 54: A Pocket Full of Sorrow

"My little sister is small and silly. I'll always hold the umbrella more over her head even if my shoulder gets soaked. In other words, I'd carry her up to heaven on my back, or hold her hand all the way down to hell." - Unknown

Tag list: @thomrainierapologist (If you'd like to be added to the tag list, let me know!)

Masterlist

Similarly to Adamant, Cullen was kept occupied with his troops and preparations for the impending battle in the Arbor Wilds. However, unlike the events at Adamant, there would be no spirit possession revealed, and journeys through the Fade. Hopefully. Months had elapsed since they’d confronted the Grey Wardens, since Ash and Cullen had parted ways only to find themselves irresistibly drawn back together once more. Now, their relationship stood on solid ground, feelings laid bare in honesty.

But the war wouldn’t simply cease to allow them some time to be together. They had to make their relationship work through hardship and pain, coupled with the looming terror of the inevitable carnage that lay ahead. She caught fleeting glimpses of him as they rode from Skyhold, and late at night, usually long after she’d fallen asleep, he would slip into her tent and curl himself around her - gone before daybreak.

Sweetpea had been left behind for her safety, but Ash was rarely alone. Dorian rode with her most often, more than happy to chat - or rather complain - about any topic he could pull from his arsenal.

So," Dorian drawled, sidling his mount closer to hers as they traversed a particularly muddy stretch of forest path. "I couldn't help but notice Cullen slipping from your tent this morning. His hair was particularly dishevelled. Most becoming, actually."

Ash rolled her eyes. "Do you ever sleep, or do you just lie in wait for gossip opportunities?"

"Sleep is for those without ambition, my dear." Dorian had a wicked gleam in his eyes that made Ash wary. “Now tell me, has our handsome Commander taught you any new sword techniques lately?"

Ash shot him a withering look. "Really? That's the best innuendo you could come up with?"

"It's early, and I haven't had nearly enough wine." Dorian adjusted his riding gloves with a smirk. "You haven't answered the question, though."

"And I won't be," Ash replied, though she couldn't quite suppress the smile tugging at her lips. The memory of Cullen's arms around her the night before, his breath warm against her neck, was still fresh in her mind.

Varric urged his pony forward to join them, a good few feet lower than where Dorian and Ash sat. "You know, Sparkler, you're approaching this all wrong. Subtlety is key."

"There's nothing subtle about those two," Dorian scoffed. "Have you seen the way he looks at her when he thinks no one's watching? It's positively indecent."

Ash lifted her nose indignantly. “Like you and Bull are any better. You can hardly go a few seconds without eye fucking each other.”

“Such is romance, darling.” Dorian shrugged, unperturbed.

Varric chuckled, shaking his head. "At least Tiny and Sparkler are honest about it. You and Curly, though - there's a story there I haven't quite figured out yet."

"There's no story," Ash insisted, guiding her horse around a fallen log. "We're together. End of tale."

"See, that's where you're wrong," Varric said. "The best stories are never that simple. The Commander of the Inquisition falling for the Inquisitor's older sister? There's depth there."

Ash was relatively certain they’d been over this, and Varric had promised he wouldn’t write about them. But perhaps he’d changed his mind. "What's your angle, Varric?"

"No angle," he replied, and she almost believed him. "I just want to see you happy, Frosty. You've changed him, there’s something lighter about Curly than there used to be."

Something in his tone made Ash pause. This wasn't just idle curiosity or material for his next book. There was genuine concern there.

"There's nothing to tell. We're…happy. That's all."

"Happy?" Dorian scoffed. "I don’t believe 'happy' begins to cover it."

"And what about the way you look at him?" Varric added, leaning forward. "Like he hung the moon and stars just for you. It's all very romantic, especially in war times."

"I do not—" Ash began, then stopped herself. What was the point in denying it? "Fine. Yes. I love him. Deeply. Are you satisfied?"

"Not remotely," Dorian replied. "But it's a start."

The conversation only deteriorated from there.

The night before they were set to arrive in the Arbor Wilds, Ash had practically carried Cullen away from his reports and battle plans, insisting he would be doing everyone a favour by getting a proper night's sleep before the gruelling days of combat that lay ahead. Cullen, like a stubborn old bear, had initially bristled at her suggestion, muttering about the crucial need to be thoroughly prepared for any ambush the enemy might devise. But in the end, he’d been unable to resist her pout and large, watery eyes. He didn’t need to know that her eyes glistened only because she had intentionally avoided blinking. The lengths she went to for him were boundless.

They lay down together on his cot, her leg slung over his, her head resting on his chest as she dragged her fingers through the coarse hair that was scattered down his abdomen.

His hand covered hers as a puff of laughter blew against the top of her head. “That tickles,” he said, moving her hand to his shoulder. As much as she loved his shoulders - broad and muscular - they weren’t quite as entertaining in texture.

Propping herself up on her elbows, she stared down at him. She’d debated when would be the best time to reveal the surprise she had for him. And before she could second guess herself, she said, “I have something for you.”

Ash needed to do it now before she chickened out.

Cullen tilted his head to the side, a crease forming between his brows. “You do?”

“Mhm.” Ash picked up the belt she’d left beside the cot, within arms reach - she was reticent to leave his side, even for a second. Opening a pouch she’d kept securely with her every second since leaving Skyhold, she removed the tiny vial attached to the leather strand of a necklace. Bright red liquid shimmered inside, and she placed it on his chest, unsure what else to do.

For a change that Ash was not keen on, a warm, rosy blush spread from her cheeks and crept over her ears. His eyes widened, and his lips parted slightly as he picked up the item, the realization of its significance dawning on him with startling clarity.

“Ash, you…this is…”He held it so carefully, the vial cradled in his palm and he glanced back and forth between her and the vial. “Is this your phylactery? How…?”

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Ash nodded. “Basically. Cassandra helped me make it.”

Cullen exhaled a shaky breath, opening and closing his mouth as he struggled to find the right words to express his thoughts. Had she gone too far, crossed an unseen line? Pushed a boundary she hadn't realized was there, acting impulsively without considering the consequences? He was no longer a Templar, and she was uncertain if he still had the ability to track her using the phylactery, but he could still hold it and feel that it was warm and pulsed with life. But maybe he didn’t want any reminders of his time with the Order, or that…she was a mage. Possessed. He loved her undeniably, but did he want to?

“Sorry, I should have asked first. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to. I can destroy it and we never have to think about this again.” She made to reach for it - to hide it away where it could never be found, unwilling to find the answers to the questions that stuck on the tip of her tongue - but Cullen jerked it out of her grasp.

“Wait,” he intercepted her hand with his free one as she made to grab it again. Bringing her fingers to his mouth, he placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I am not rejecting your gift, I’m merely surprised. I only wish to understand.”

Her ears tilted down, but she ceased her attempts to reclaim the phylactery. His lips brushed against her knuckles once more, and he swiped his thumb over the thin bones on the back of her hand. “Why make this?”

“For you,” she replied simply. His eyebrows raised with incredulity.

“You created a phylactery for me? Ash, this is…you've bound yourself to this, and if it were to end up in the wrong hands…you didn’t have to do that for me.”

“I wanted to. And it’s in your hands.” She brushed her fingers over his cheek, his rough stubble scratching her skin. “When I follow Rae out on missions and I…leave you behind, I don’t want you to stew in your worry for me and get distracted. Especially not tomorrow when you need to be focusing on keeping yourself alive. I thought that maybe with this, you can feel that I’m alright and find some reassurance.”

For a few long seconds, he said nothing, his eyes roaming her face, searching for clarity that could part the clouds of his disbelief.

Ash kissed the indent of his chin. “I trust you,” she whispered. “I know you’ll keep it safe.”

Cullen opened his mouth, stunned beyond words, and closed it again. He cleared his throat, curling his fingers around the little vial and holding it to his chest.

“Thank you, my love. I hardly know what to say.”

Ash folded herself against his side, the lucky coin he’d given her at the lake lay safely tucked in her belt - with plans to turn it into a necklace when they returned home. They would both carry a piece of each other, a token of affection. Never again would she be entirely without him, nor he without her.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

He placed a kiss on the top of her head, and no words followed. It was simply the two of them, content to bask in each other’s arms before the battle descended upon them and they were once more torn apart by duty. If anything happened to him…Creators, she couldn’t think about it. They would both survive. They had to.

To lose him now would destroy a part of herself she would never regain.

“How was the farewell lovemaking? Did your Commander get on his knees and beg you to come back in one piece before showing you all the reasons why you should?” Dorian tossed her a shiny red apple, and Ash caught it with a roll of her eyes. Breakfast hadn’t been her priority, but the mage had taken it upon himself to ensure she was fed.

Ash took a bite, speaking around the apple piece in her cheek. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yes, dear,” Dorian drawled. “That's why I’m asking.”

“She’s walking alright,” Sera interjected, poking Ash in the hip and earning herself a scowl. “Maybe Cully-Wully has lost his touch. He was all growly when I offered to show him the best techniques on a peach. Must have something against peaches.”

Choking on the bite of apple she’d inhaled, Ash smacked her chest to dislodge the fruit from her airway.

Dorian barked a laugh, patting Sera on the back approvingly. “I would have paid good money to see the look on his face!”

Sera grinned, already scheming. “Yeah? How much?”

Before Dorian could respond, Cassandra cut in, striding up to their little group with a stern look permanently etched onto her face. She addressed Ash without acknowledging the two mischief makers.

“The Inquisitor is ready to depart if you are finished with your…” She glanced at Dorian and Sera with an exasperated curl of her lips. “gossip.”

“Spoiling all our fun, Seeker,” Dorian tutted, though he was already steering Sera away before the rogue could say something scandalous to truly piss Cassandra off. “Make sure our Ashvalla returns in one piece so we may finish our gossip, as you put it.”

Cassandra sucked her teeth in and returned her attention to Ash, her eyes sparking with a knowing look. Though the Seeker was a stern woman, Ash had learned of her hidden romantic side, one that Varric loved to tease her about. Cassandra waited until Dorian and Sera were out of earshot before speaking up.

“Did you give it to him?” She kept her voice low, though even if she hadn’t, no one would have known what she was asking except for her. And Cullen most likely.

“Yes, I did. Thank you for your help, Cassandra.”

The Seeker nodded, a silent acknowledgment. Just as swiftly as their conversation had started, it came to an abrupt halt when Rae approached. Her gait was confident, her steps smooth and unhurried, as if she were merely taking a leisurely stroll rather, far too casual given the impending battle.

“You ready to go?” Rae asked, her lips curling into a wide grin that revealed her sharp canines a grin on her face, bloodlust in her eyes. Ash gave her a matching grin.

“Let’s go kill some red templars.”

Corypheus couldn’t be killed, an ancient and supposedly powerful well in the ancient temple guarded by even more ancient elves, Morrigan had flown off and abandoned them, and red templars crawled through the bowels of the temple, void-bent on annihilating Rae’s party at any cost. Ash was frankly sick of it. Her muscles ached, her magic dwindled, and she was exhausted.

At least Rae had listened to Solas’s counsel and solved the puzzles to allow them peaceful entry. Based on Abelas’s cryptic statements - the leader of the ancient elves - the only reason they hadn’t fought the Inquisitor’s party upon entry had been their respect for their customs. Ash dutifully pretended like she hadn’t suggested charging ahead and ignoring the puzzles.

Abelas’ people led them to the Well of Sorrows - an ominous name, but if it could help them defeat Corypheus, Ash didn’t care what it was called. Nor did she have the energy to.

They arrived in a large room, moss and vegetation growing over broken stone stairs. A fight had already broken out further down, red templars slaughtering the elven protectors. And behind them, stood the Well they were all after.

“So, Mythal endures.” Solas stared out at the large, crumbling room, a far-away look in his eyes. Rae squeezed his arm, bringing him back to her, and he offered her a small smile.

Rae continued on.

“Andraste guide us,” Cassandra said under her breath as they descended the stairs. Ash wasn’t sure if Andraste would be able to help them now - did human and elven gods get along?

They reached the bottom of the long stairs, and a templar - one of the only without the spikes of red lyrium growing from his body - caught sight of their party.

“Sampson! Ser—watch out!”

Sampson’s bulky armour glinted in the low light, the jagged spikes of red lyrium jutting from the metal as he turned to face them. Ash stood at Rae’s shoulder as she came to a halt, Cassandra at her other side, and Solas taking up the rear.

“Inquisitor,” he spat her title like a curse. “You and those elf-things don’t know when to stop. You’ve hunted us half across Thedas. I should’ve guessed you’d follow us into this hole.”

Rae’s lips curved into a ruthless grin. “Leading the Inquisition takes me to all sorts of interesting places. Including old, dusty holes. Just like yours, I’d imagine.”

“You came too far this time.” Sampson gripped the pommel of his sword, his eyes darkening in a warning that Rae ignored. “Corypheus chose me twice. First as his general, now as the Vessel for the Well of Sorrows. You know what’s inside the Well? Wisdom. The kind of wisdom that can scour a world. I give it to Corypheus, and he can walk into the Fade without your precious Anchor.”

Ash didn’t like the sound of that at all. If he could walk the Fade, there was no predicting where he’d go or what kind of havoc he’d unleash. They would be powerless against him.

Rae’s hands tightened around her blood-soaked daggers. “I’ll see Corypheus dead before I let him wield that power.”

“How are you going to stop him?” A baiting taunt. Ash shook her head, signalling for Rae to disengage as her sister’s short-tempered fury growled in her throat. Rae’s muscles tensed, but she swallowed her sharp retort.

Sampson's eyes darted to Ash, racking up and down her body. “Will you use your sister to secure power like you have already? The Knight-Captain’s whore. He didn’t seem like the elf-fucker type when I knew him in Kirkwall, but I suppose everyone has their secrets.”

Before Rae could explode in a murderous rage, Ash took matters into her own hands. “Sounds like someone’s jealous. Does Corypheus not appreciate it when you suck his mangled cock?”

Sampson’s teeth barred in a snarl, and for a moment, Ash thought he might attack outright, but he managed to real himself in. “You’ll pay for your insolence, and I will enjoy gloating in Rutherford’s face as I parade your dead body through the remnants of his precious Inquisition’s ranks.” Ash wouldn’t let that happen. If she was going out, she would ensure she took that asshole with her. “You’re no match for Corypheus. Even if you drink from the Well, you’ll never master its wisdom as he could. This is the strength the Chantry tried to bind. But it’s a new world now. With a new god.”

Red shimmering lights built around his armour, his face twisted in a smug grin. “So, Inquisitor.” He pointed at Rae, a challenge. “How will this go?”

Sheathing a dagger, Rae buried her anger beneath a mask of smug indifference. “Power’s all well and good.” With her free hand, Rae fished Dayna’s rune from her pocket, holding it up and letting its powers grow. “Until it’s taken away.”

Ash watched with sick satisfaction as his armour was drained of energy, dimming until snuffed out completely, his cries of pain and horror music to her ears. He fell to his knees. That sad, pathetic man grasping for power was who Cullen was so afraid he could have become. For the life of her, she couldn’t fathom a single similarity in their personhoods. Sampson was contorted by his seething hatred, transforming into a creature almost beyond recognition. Whereas Cullen had resolved to confront and unravel his hate, to free himself from the burden and work to better the world. “What did you do? What did you do?” Sampson roared as he struggled to his feet. “My armour. It's gone. The lyrium��I need it! Kill them all!”

The remaining templars charged forward, their movements jerky and uncoordinated as the red lyrium consumed them from within.

A fireball to the chest took one out as it ran towards Ash. Cassandra pressed forward, shield out to block Rae from harm as she darted out to stab their enemies.

"I'll take Sampson," Ash called to her sister.

Rae didn't spare her a glance. "Be careful!"

Sampson's eyes locked on Ash, hatred burning in them like the lyrium that had once powered his armour. "Rutherford's pet mage," he sneered, advancing towards her. "Let's see if you're as special as he thinks you are."

Ash rolled her shoulders, her flames begging to be released.

"Come and find out," she taunted, planting her feet firmly on the ancient stone.

Sampson charged, sword raised. Even without his enchanted armour, he was formidable - a templar trained to kill mages just like her. Ash sidestepped his first swing, sending a bolt of fire that clipped his shoulder.

"Is that all?" he laughed, recovering quickly. "No wonder Rutherford keeps you around. It certainly isn't for your magic."

Ash gritted her teeth, her jaw clenching as she forced herself to focus. He was trying to provoke her anger, to stir her emotions and make her lose her edge, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.

Sampson lunged, assaults growing more frenzied and uncontrolled as his withdrawal from the red lyrium intensified. But Ash fought back, dodging and blocking blow after blow. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead, mixing with the grime and dirt, while his movements became more erratic, like a puppet with its strings tangled. "When I'm done with you, I'll make sure he watches as Corypheus tears those pretty little eyes from your skull."

"You talk too much," she hissed, slamming her staff into the ground.

A ring of fire erupted around them, cutting them off from the rest of the fight. Sampson faltered, momentarily startled by the sudden blaze.

That moment was all she needed.

Ash thrust her hands forward, and flames shot from her palms, hitting Sampson square in the chest. He stumbled backward, the smell of burning leather and flesh hitting her nose. It was pungent, but it was necessary.

"Not so confident now, are you?" Ash advanced, each step she took, the fire around them grew higher, hotter.

Sampson's eyes bulged with rage. He charged again, but his movements were growing increasingly sluggish. The tremor in his hands, the way his skin had gone sallow and slick with sweat. He wasn’t well. Like a sick dog, she would put him down.

The ground beneath him erupted in a geyser of flame. Sampson howled, stumbling backward into the ring of fire she'd created. The heat singed his hair and blistered his skin, but he fought through it, lunging at her like a wild animal.

His sword caught her sleeve, slicing through fabric and grazing her arm. She hissed in pain but didn't falter, channelling the sharp sting into her magic. The fire around them pulsed in response to her anger.

A witty retort was poised on his tongue, but Ash did not allow it to come to fruition. She drove the bladed end of her staff into his knee - the crack of bone shattering sounding above the roar of the fire.

Sampson collapsed with a cry of agony, his sword clattering against the stone floor.

"You bitch!" he snarled, clutching at his ruined knee. "You'll pay for—"

Ash silenced him with a boot to his chest, knocking him flat on his back and pinning him to the ground. She placed the sharp end of her staff against his throat, just hard enough to break the skin.

"I could end you right now," she said, voice eerily calm even as her heart raced. "Save everyone the trouble of dragging your sorry carcass back to Skyhold for judgment."

His eyes widened, a flicker of genuine fear breaking through his mask of hatred. Good. Let him know what it felt like.

"Do it then," he challenged, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

She scoffed, easing the pressure slightly. “And give you the easy way out? I don’t think so.”

Picking her boot up from his chest, she stepped back. His head fell back against the stone floor, utterly spent.

The ring of fire around them guttered out as she released her hold. Beyond it, the other templars lay dead, Rae wiping blood from her daggers while Cassandra helped Solas to his feet.

"Finished showing off?" Rae asked as she arrived at her sister’s side.

Ash shrugged, wincing as the movement pulled at her wounded arm. "He had opinions about my relationship."

"So naturally, you set him on fire."

"Naturally."

Sampson lay sprawled on the ground, armourless and defeated. “Not the Well, you wretch. You can’t take it from Corypheus. You mustn’t…” A final grunt, and he went limp.

Cassandra took his pulse. “He’s still breathing.” She sounded mildly disappointed, and Ash couldn’t blame her.

Rae nodded. “We can take him back to Skyhold for judgment.”

Tact had never been Ash’s strong suit, but even she had better timing than Abelas as he sprinted into the room, Morrigan giving chase in her raven form. Seconds after Sampson’s defeat, leaving them no time to process their victory, Rae had another squabble to solve.

“Abelas!” Rae called, already starting towards him as he raced for the Well.

The transformation from bird to human shouldn’t have been as smooth as it was, but Morrigan wasn’t the type to do anything without class. She darted ahead of the elf, positioning herself between him and the Well, her face set in an impassive glare.

Her eyes darted to Rae. “You heard his parting words, Inquisitor. The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!”

Abelas was quick with a retort, scowling at the witch. “So the sanctum is despoiled at last.”

“You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance.”

Ash had been exhausted and drained even before the fight with Sampson, but after the battle and all the shit they'd slogged through to reach that point, her remaining shreds of patience were rapidly unravelling as they bickered like children with overly large vocabularies.

“To keep it from your grasping fingers! Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Fool!” Morrigan spat. “You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!”

Rae, similarly to her sister, was seconds away from losing her composure. “Enough!” she barked, sounding more like the Commander than ever.

Morrigan turned her glare on Rae. “You cannot honestly—“

But Rae was not one to wither under a hard stare. “I said, enough.”

Morrigan sucked her teeth. “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?”

Hesitation flashed across Rae’s face, and Abelas caught it, his brow furrowing and his canines glinting in the reflected light from the Well as he sneered in disgust.

“Do you even know what you ask? As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on…through this. All that we were. All that we knew. It would be lost forever.”

Ash had observed Rae over the years, witnessing her gradual shunning from their clan. Rae was reluctantly kept around, her presence tolerated only because of Ash’s influential position. Perhaps they should have departed long ago, to spare Rae the burden of isolation she must have felt. Yet, Ash had believed it was safest to stay. Then, tragedy struck, and the clan was wiped out before Ash could complete her training as First. The stories she’d hoped to share with Rae on her own had gone with their people. Rae had already endured the fate that Abelas feared.

“Look around you.” Rae swept her arm out, gesturing to the crumbling ruins of the once mighty temple. “Everything your people were…it’s already gone.”

Abelas nodded, a deep sorrow carved into his features by years of hardship. “It is.”

Stepping forward from the small group of companions, Solas took his spot at Rae’s back. “There are other places, friend.” Solas addressed the other elf softly. “Other duties. Your people yet linger.”

Abelas tilted his head to the side. “Elvhen such as you?”

Ash didn’t fully understand the question, there were three elves in their party. Why had he specifically singled out Solas? Was it because he’d posed the question? Or perhaps his study of their history and knowledge of the Fade.

“Yes. Such as I.”

Whatever significance that exchange held for Abelas softened the ridged line of his shoulders. He regarded Rae once more, tired and weary. “You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny. Is that your desire? To partake of the vir’abelasan as best you can, to fight your enemy?”

Ever suspicious, Rae said, “Gifts like this don’t come freely.”

“No boon of Mythal was ever granted without cost.”

A sinking feeling took up residence in her gut, a stone of foreboding swallowed and stuck. When would the world stop demanding sacrifices of her sister?

“The vir’abelasan may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know you this: you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

“Bound?” Morrigan inquired. “To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?”

Abelas kept his gaze on Rae, unmoving and solemn. “Bound, as we are bound. The choice is yours.”

Another leash, another self-proclaimed god to take what little autonomy Rae had left. But Rae had always taken whatever mantle was thrown at her and done her utmost to accomplish her goals.

“You could come with us.” The offer that left Rae’s lips surprised Ash, but she couldn’t deny that they would benefit from allies as strong as him. “Fight Corypheus. He killed your people.”

But Abelas shook his head. “We killed ourselves, long ago.”

As the elf took his leave, Solas spoke up. “Malas amelin ne halam, Abelas.”

Abelas looked up, a flicker of hope in his eyes, before he continued, the remaining elves trailing after him.

It was kind of Solas, to offer them hope when she wasn’t sure they still knew what that words meant. Ash hoped he found a new name as well, to let him remove the mantle of sorrow.

Morrigan turned towards the Well, walking along the edge, and Rae’s hands clenched at her sides, quick to follow the witch.

“Don’t go any closer Morrigan!” Rae warned before she lowered her voice to a conversational volume, pulling up beside Morrigan.

Ash exchanged a glance with Solas as he turned to her, a deep concern weighing down his face. Ash stepped to his side.

“It is imperative that Rae does not drink from the Well,” Solas said lowly. “It…she has already lost too much of herself. I fear what this will do.”

“You don’t have to tell me that. I heard what Abelas said about price. But there's no way she’s going to let Morrigan be the one.” Ash narrowed her eyes. “Would you take the burden for the woman you claim to care for?”

His lips twisted in a frown and he shook his head with what looked suspiciously like shame. “I cannot. Do not ask me this again.”

Cassandra wasn’t likely to be willing to subject herself to ancient Elvhen magic - if she was even able to - which only left…Creators, Cullen was going to be so pissed.

Ash stepped around Solas, exchanging a look of understanding. They both knew what she must do.

“I’ll do it,” Rae said as Ash approached, and her heart leaped into her throat.

Morrigan beat her to a rebuttal. “You lead the Inquisition. This is not a risk you can take. I have the best chance of making use of the Well…for everyone. Let me drink.”

“Fen—Rae, please, listen to her.” Rae whirled around as Ash spoke, gentle and beseeching. “You’ve taken on far more than one person should and you’ve done beautifully. But you don’t have to bear this burden as well.”

Through gritted teeth, ears tilted down and pressed tight to her head, Rae pointed at Morrigan. “I’m not letting her take it. She’s proven herself to be untrustworthy and I can’t afford the risk.”

Morrigan rolled her eyes, which Ash would have pointed out wasn’t helpful had she not been so focused on her sister.

“You have other options than just you and Morrigan.”

Rae’s face slackened, taking a step back from Ash in horror. “No. I won’t risk you like that.”

“If something happens to you, we’re all dead.” Ash wanted nothing more than to be gentle, but Corypheus was hot on their tail, and Rae wouldn’t have listened to softness either way. Love, having been eerily silent throughout the entire conversation, swept her presence over Ash like a wave. Soft yet insistent, granting her approval. “Love can help guide me, and it was my job as First to ensure the safety of our people’s history. Allow me to complete my role.”

Rae’s shoulders curled inward, seeing her sister’s reasoning and hating it all the same. “Fine. But know that I don’t like this, and you have to deal with Cullen’s temper tantrum when he finds out.”

Nervousness plucked at her ribcage, and she rubbed the heel of her palm against her sternum. “He’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Lips puckered in a sour grimace, Morrigan waved her hand in distaste. “I am forever balked by those who believe they know better than I. Drink if you will, for the sake of us all. But steel your will to do it.”

Not a problem. Ash had enough stubbornness to feed a small village, lack of willpower wouldn’t hold her back.

She stepped towards the Well but paused when Rae grabbed her arm.

“Be safe and come back to me.” Rae squeezed lightly. “That’s an order.”

Smiling, Ash placed her hand over Rae’s. “Yes, Inquisitor.”

Rae reluctantly released her, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Ash waded into the cool waters of the cool Well, soaking through her robes and tingling at her skin.

She scooped a handful of water, bringing it to her lips.

This had to be the most ill-conceived plan she had ever concocted. She was meddling with ancient Elvhen deities whose existence she didn't fully believe in. She’d been so confident that they didn’t linger in their world; if they had, why hadn’t they helped their people when they were mercilessly slaughtered?

Thoughts of Cullen came to her mind. If it killed her…the anguish he would feel if her phylactery went dim and cold would destroy him - another poorly thought-out idea. She loved him, cherished him, longed to share her life with him. But Rae had drank from the well and it had taken it, there wouldn’t be anything left of Ash for him to love in return.

It was undoubtedly the best course of action, yet that realization did little to diminish the heart-pounding fear that accompanied it.

She tilted her hands, the water slipping past her lips, and a bright flash of light obscured her vision. Agony, pure, unadulterated agony wracked her body and she cried out.

The light vanished, and her vision went black.

Next Chapter

A/N: Bringing the stakes back up! I couldn't let them be happy forever...yet.

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suzannahnatters · 5 months ago

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LOTR re-read, FOTR chapters 9-12: Keeping My 2024 Tolkiennaissance Burning All the Way To TROP S3

CH 9 - AT THE SIGN OF THE PRANCING PONY

love the rhythm of this book: we travel to a new location, learn a detailed history, and then have an adventure before moving on. wish I knew how Tolkien makes this feel like the best tour ever instead of a total yawn the way it does with most secondary world fantasy!!!

with a sense of petty satisfaction, I note that in Bree the races of Big and Little People live together in harmony and Tolkien calls it an "excellent arrangement"

Future King Elessar of Gondor Spotted Sneaking In Over Bree Gate

don't know what is sillier: that Tolkien spent hours reconstructing the lost OG Cat and Fiddle, orrrrrrr that this is the biggest appearance in the literature of Tilion, Chaotic Loverboy of the Moon

calling it now: nothing Merry and/or Pippin does is anywhere near as chaotic and silly as Frodo doing a vanishing act in the taproom of a crowded inn

CH 10 - STRIDER

wow Aragorn could you BE any more suspicious

"they are very terrible" this man obviously has trauma, somewhere out there must be a rich vein of Dunedan torture fic

STOUT AND FAIR, DIDN'T I TELL YOU FRODO WAS A CHONKY BLOND

our boy Strider wishes he could have been trusted on his own recognisances 🥺🥺🥺 he is my baby I would protect him with my life

also, speaking of himself in the third person has never seemed odd to me, tho you don't question much when you're 11 years old. but thinking about it now, I perceive it kind of as an acknowledgement that there's a scoundrelly reputation around this persona that Aragorn feels does not fit him super well. the Strider identity is one of many, as we know, and not one he fully embraces.

"not much use is it Sam" he says of the shards of broken Narsil THEN WHY CARRY IT ABOUT WITH YOU lol

CH 11 - A KNIFE IN THE DARK

at this point Fatty is streets ahead of all the other hobbits in this book in terms of discretion and not playing the fule. Sam is second place.

don't let Bill's insults get you down, Strider, not one but TWO princesses will have fallen in love with you at first sight before your story is over

always loved the moment when they see lights on the horizon as Gandalf is battles the Nazgul on Weathertop. It's a cool moment, fun to remember that Gandalf is having his own adventures not far away, but it also foreshadows the narrative polyphony in the second half of the plot.

"it is said that Elendil stood here" - screaming obvs

the Fall of Gil-Galad stanza is a top ten LOTR poetry moment, I know it by heart and cry every time. but??? for the first time I notice that it uses the Lay of Leithien tetrameter? maybe that's why I respond so strongly - it's so reminiscent of my Favourite Poem Everrrrr.

as the landscape changes, we've moved out of the misty, uncertain history of the old forest and the barrow downs into the recorded epic history of Middle Earth - the kingdom of Arnor, the Second Age and beyond to Luthien and Beren; and I'm just so fascinated by how Tolkien does his exposition and how interesting he makes it.

in addition, Tolkien makes a calculated choice to tell the Tale of Tinuviel right before the attack of the Nazgul; it's quite an unforgettable juxtaposition of light and darkness. before Sauron's most dreadful servants attack we're told the story of the woman who beat him AND his master in the Elder Days; one of the ways that Tolkien keeps the darkness from overwhelming his story is not just to keep emphasising the light, but putting the light FIRST, assuring us that the darkness can be beaten and healed from before we even experience the darkness.

the confrontation on Weathertop is the first moment there's actually been a FIGHT between the Black Riders and our protagonists and it doesn't disappoint, it's super epic as Frodo slips into the spirit world to see the Nazgul as they really are, but on top of that...like, there is SUCH a psychological element to the Nazgul threat, it's their power over mind and spirit that is most dangerous, and I feel this is both Tolkien's faith and his trauma enriching the story.

CH 12 - FLIGHT TO THE FORD

the elfstone on the bridge!!! it's so nice to know that Glorfindel is lookin out for them

but also: this bridge crossing is to my mind so extremely closely related to the bridge crossing in THE SILVER CHAIR where they meet the Lady of the Green Kirtle. the same sense of liminal threat

trolls? Aragorn is the real troll here, he's known all along which trolls these are. ngl it's one of Tolkien's hallmarks that he'll write a person of ineffable significance and dignity and then have them come out with the silliest practical jokes, it's something I really wish they'd put in TROP but do they???? nope

Tolkien is always so dignified but this chapter sees two people whacking a troll on the backside in close succession, amazing

Sam's song is so hilarious but my favourite bit is Tom recognising his uncle's shinbone at a glance

"his bootless foot" is the most gorgeously silly pun it kills me EVERY time ("bootless" archaic meaning = futile or ineffective, in case anyone didn't know)

it is so incredibly important to this book that Glorfindel is someone the Nazgul run away from crying for their mummies - it's absolutely vital to Tolkien's vision that there are people like Glorfindel, Tom, and Faramir who have the power to resist evil and I consider it one of PJ's primary failings as a Tolkien adaptor that he purposefully eliminated nearly every instance of this.

"by Elbereth and by Luthien the fair" not me realising for the first time that he swears by Luthien because she famously faced Sauron and won

okay so I can appreciate the reasoning behind PJ's decision to introduce Arwen, a character of great importance to Aragorn, here in place of Glorfindel; and I don't think that decision by itself broke anything in the story. but what does still rankle is the decision to take Frodo's moment of agency and molten awesome away from him and let him spend the whole scene drooling in Arwen's arms, when Tolkien found a way to orchestrate the scene in such a way as to emphasise the agency both of the elf and of the hobbit.

ANYWAY THIS SCENE IS MOLTEN AWESOME.

thus Book 1. I think that the main thing I have to say about it in terms of its place in the larger story is that I think it's VERY important to the entire rest of the book that the hobbits get a chance to have adventures on their own before becoming a part of the fellowship. because the Fellowship is not going to be around forever. by the end of FOTR Frodo and Sam need to set out on their own, and Merry and Pippin are going to be kidnapped by orcs. book 1 prepares them for that. book 1 gives them the opportunity to make plans, change their plans on the fly, learn exactly how much trouble they're in and how many dangers threaten them in the wild, and start learning who to trust. book 1 lets them experience the consequences of their small size, weakness, inexperience and folly. book 1 also shows them that they are NOT helpless, even on their own; that they can appeal to allies for help; that Providence is looking out for them; that evil CAN be beaten.

I just love it a lot :')

#the lord of the rings #jrrt #jrr tolkien #middle earth #jrrtandme2025

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its-wabby-stuff · 1 year ago

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How Human is your Animal?

Based on animalistic representation in Media. Ranging from anthropomorphic to everyday pet.

A tier list for your convenience

S Tier- Humans don’t exist here

Qualifications: the world has no humans, animals tend to walk on hind legs and participate in human like societies, most likely anthropomorphic but not required

Zootopia, Kung Fu Panda, Sing, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Chicken Little, My Little Pony, Goofy Movie, Ducktales, Robin Hood, Angry Birds, Samurai Rabbit, Paws of Fury, Spiderhams Universe

A Tier- I see, a little co-op happening

Qualifications: the world has humans, humans acknowledge animals in some way, they can be hired/considered for jobs and/or are active in society. Might be considered mutants

Paddigton, Muppets, Stuart Little, The Bad Guys, Pinnocio, Shrek universe, Care Bears, the Bee Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3, and subsequently the entire MCU, Monsters Inc, Storks, Looney Tunes, TMNT, MHA, Yogi Bear, We Bare Bears, Chip N’ Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022), Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hop, Wonderland, James and the Giant Peach, Hoodwinked, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, Ichabod and Toad, Sonic Movie

B Tier- Your getting suspiciously close

Qualifications: act more human like, perhaps develop a hidden society or walk on hind legs or plan elaborate heists, it’s just not quite right for an animal

Madagascar, Ice Age, Shark Tale, Surfs Up, Snoopy, Rescuers, SpongeBob, Ratatouille, Horton Hears a Who, Free Birds, Great Mouse Detective, Chicken Run, Flushed Away, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Tom and Jerry, Secret of Nym, Tale of Desperaeux, American Tail, Once Upon a Forest, Garfield, Over the Hedge, Rango

C Tier- Communication is key in fostering animal relationships

Qualifications: Perhaps by magical transformation or special gift or something that has always been kept a secret until now, these animals are able to talk to you

Cinderella, Tarzan, Jungle Book, Epic, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Charlottes Web, Scooby Doo, Happy Feet, Snow White, Pete’s Dragon, Princess and the Frog, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Spies In Disguise, Emperors New Groove, Enchanted, Sophia the First, Peter Rabbit, Meet the Robinsons, Anastasia, Swan Princess, Dr. Dolittle, Leo, Up

D Tier- Oh look, it’s gaining complexity

Qualifications: although animals have been known to convey emotions nothing is more complex than creating Shakespearean like storylines. Humans take to the sidelines

Lion King, Finding Nemo, 101 Dalmatians, Bambi, Land Before Time, The Secret Life of Pets, Bugs Life, Oliver and Company, All Dogs go to Heaven, Lady and the Tramp, Fox and the Hound, Aristocats, Migration, Bolt, Dinosaur, The Good Dinosaur, Super Pets, Dumbo, Home in the Range, G-force, The Wild, Spirit, Rio, Curious George

F Tier- It’s all okay, animals are just animals here

Qualifications: Imagine your pet in a movie, that’s prolly what fits here. The everyday dog, or cat, or shark. Likely plays a part in the plot progression of the movie

Babe, Jurassic Park, Milo and Otis, Old Yeller, Life of Pi, Sword in the Stone, Beethoven, A Dogs Purpose, We Bought a Zoo, Pokémon, Dolphins Tale, Homeward Bound, The Black Stallion, Marley and Me, Jaws, King Kong, How to Train Your Dragon

Z Tier- So it doesn’t work like other places, but it works for you

Qualifications: a Universe with its own set of rules, perhaps jumping into a place outside of their own where rules seem just a little different. Who can say if it was real, or a dream?

Mary Poppins, Spiderverse, Fantasia, Mario Bros, Song of the South, Alice in Wonderland (cartoon), Calvin and Hobbes

Each placing is based on the highest human to animal ratio in universe even if that is one exception. This is for fun, don’t take it too seriously. You’re welcome to fill in anything you think is missing. If I mentioned one of your favorite movies you have to reblog, I don’t make the rules.

😉

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ronaldanthony4 · 3 months ago

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Spring has always been my favourite season. It is a time when the earth awakens from its slumber, and nature explodes into a vibrant celebration of life. The crisp scent of fresh blossoms fills the air, birds sing cheerful songs, and the world bathes in a golden glow. This year’s Spring Equinox felt particularly special to me, and I knew I had to commemorate it in a way that truly captured the essence of the season. What better way to do so than by creating another digital artwork?

Art has been an integral part of my life, a way for me to channel my emotions, improve my skills, and bring my imagination to life. While I'm illustrating my original characters, I also indulge in fan art, especially when I find a character who resonates with me. This Spring Equinox, I was inspired to bring to life one of the most gentle and kind-hearted characters I have ever known—Fluttershy from "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls." Through my digital artwork, I aimed to capture her essence in a way that celebrates the beauty of the season and the character herself.

If there was ever a character who embodied the spirit of spring, it would be Fluttershy. A lover of nature, she finds solace in the company of animals, preferring the gentle hum of the forest over the noise of a bustling crowd. She is kindness personified, always putting others before herself and offering comfort to those who need it most. She is not just gentle—she is a beacon of warmth and compassion, proving that true strength lies in a kind heart. Fluttershy's ability to see the beauty in every living creature reflects the blossoming of life that comes with the changing of seasons.

Her deep connection with nature made her the perfect subject for my Spring Equinox artwork. It wasn’t just about drawing her; it was about capturing the very essence of the season—renewal, beauty, and kindness. Fluttershy represents all these things and more. Her presence in the artwork brings a sense of tranquillity and harmony, embodying the spirit of springtime. Through her gentle demeanour and nurturing nature, Fluttershy reminds us to appreciate the beauty in both ourselves and the world around us.

For this piece, I decided to depict her in an outfit that beautifully complements her nature-loving personality. I drew her in the nature-themed dress she wore in "Legend of Everfree", one of my favourite designs for her. The dress itself is a masterpiece, flowing with the grace of a gentle spring breeze. It features delicate shades of green, blending seamlessly with her surroundings, adorned with small pink butterflies and floral patterns. A soft pink top completes the ensemble, with ruffled straps resting gently on her shoulders, adding a touch of elegance.

Her footwear perfectly matches the theme—a pair of green wedge heels with floral embellishments. The shoes are simple yet charming, fitting for someone who treads lightly upon the earth, as if not wanting to disturb even a single blade of grass. Around her ankles are small, pink bows, adding a sense of playful innocence to her look. As she walks, the sound of her heels stepping softly on the grass is almost drowned out by the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. Her outfit exudes a sense of effortless grace and natural beauty, embodying the essence of springtime.

But it’s her expression that truly brings the piece to life. Her large, aquamarine eyes sparkle with warmth and kindness, reflecting the beauty of the world around her. A gentle smile graces her lips, radiating serenity. Her long, wavy pink hair cascades down her back and over her shoulders, adorned with small, colourful flowers that make her appear as though she is part of the very landscape itself. Her pose is graceful—one foot slightly lifted, her arms outstretched, as if she is twirling in the fresh spring air, dancing to the silent melody of nature.

Interestingly, this wasn’t the first time I had drawn Fluttershy in this pose. Four years ago, I attempted the same illustration and looking back at my old work, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia. Back then, my skills were still developing. My shading techniques were simpler, my anatomy less refined, and my colours not as vibrant. The hands are smaller and the proportions slightly off, but there is a certain charm in seeing how much I have improved over the years. It's a reminder of the progress I've made and the dedication I've put into honing my craft.

This new version, however, was a testament to how far I had come. The details were sharper, the lighting more dynamic, and the overall composition more refined. The improvement wasn’t just technical—it was emotional. My understanding of character expression, movement, and atmosphere had grown. Seeing both artworks side by side filled me with a sense of pride and motivation. It reminded me that no matter how much we improve, there is always room to grow, always another level to reach.

Fluttershy is more than just a character; she symbolises kindness in a world that often values loudness and aggression over gentleness. She may be timid and soft-spoken, but her heart is strong. In the Equestria Girls films, she often hesitates to step into the spotlight, speaking in whispers when she first meets Twilight Sparkle. However, despite her shyness, she always finds a way to help those in need. Fluttershy's character serves as a reminder that true strength lies in compassion and empathy, qualities that are often overlooked in today's society. Her ability to connect with animals and humans alike showcases the power of kindness in making a difference, no matter how small the gesture may seem.

One of my favourite moments is when she meets Spike, Twilight’s dog, in the first film. As someone who adores animals, she immediately opens up to him, proving that her love for creatures big and small surpasses her fears. This is a recurring theme throughout the series—her ability to connect with animals gives her the courage to step outside her comfort zone. She even volunteers at an animal shelter, sneaking her animal friends into school in her backpack. She isn’t afraid to bend the rules if it means helping someone in need. That, to me, is true kindness—doing good not because it is easy, but because it is right.

Although Fluttershy is often portrayed as the quiet one, she is far from weak. In Friendship Games, she goes out of her way to comfort Twilight, even though they are technically from rival schools. She does not care about competition; she only cares about helping someone who is struggling. This moment solidifies one of her greatest strengths—her selflessness. Fluttershy's ability to prioritize others' well-being over personal gain showcases her true character. This selflessness is a quality that sets her apart as a truly compassionate individual.

She is also incredibly brave in her way. While she may not seek attention, she never hesitates to support her friends. As a member of The Rainbooms, she plays the tambourine, overcoming her stage fright to be part of something bigger than herself. She does not need to be the centre of attention; she is content with being the quiet yet unshakable support that holds everything together. Fluttershy's quiet strength and unwavering loyalty make her an invaluable member of any team. Her ability to face her fears and stand up for what is right, even in the face of adversity, is truly inspiring.

In a world where loudness often overshadows gentleness, Fluttershy is a reminder that kindness is its form of power. She teaches us that being soft-hearted does not mean being weak. If anything, it takes great strength to remain kind in a harsh world. This is something I wanted to reflect in my artwork. I wanted to capture not just her beauty, but the warmth and serenity she brings to those around her. The soft lighting, the gentle colours, and the flowing composition all work together to convey the peacefulness she embodies.

As I look at this finished piece, I realise that it represents more than just a tribute to My Little Pony: Equestria Girls or a celebration of the Spring Equinox. It is a testament to my journey as an artist and as a person. Much like Fluttershy, I have grown over the years. I have become more confident in my abilities, and more assured in my artistic voice. Yet, just like her, I know there is always more to learn, and more ways to improve. Growth is not about reaching a final destination—it is a continuous journey.

This artwork, in many ways, is a reflection of that journey. Just as nature blooms with new life each spring, I too continue to evolve, my art blossoming with each passing season. As I take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the world around me, I find comfort in knowing that, like Fluttershy, I will always carry a piece of that kindness, warmth, and gentle strength within me. Spring is not just a season; it is a reminder of renewal, of new beginnings. Through this piece, I celebrate not only the changing of the seasons but also the ever-changing, ever-growing journey of creativity.

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beatcroc · 1 month ago

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i can't remember if you ever went there but top 5 my little pony characters? (or perhaps 6..... because there are 6 element of harmony. if you think about it)

from like 2012 to 2016ish i went there quite heavily yes. it remains to this day an a fun thing to engage with in the background, but god it has been a hot minute since i engaged directly with the source material. let's see what i can remember

zecora- cool design, great vibe. doing her own thing. chilling in the forest. thriving. in her lane. etc. i suppose it does bear to mention the questionable stuff about african stereotypes, but it was nothing that stuck out to me as mean-spirited. this might change if i watched it when i was not a teenager fjdfjkd.

discord- again may feel different on a revisit but i distinctly remember him having like the best redemption arc i'd ever seen. fun personality in general and a great dynamic with flutershy

queen chrysalis- kickass design, kickass song, kickass episode. simple as

fluttershy-quiet weird girl who's into other animals more than her own kind what else do you need

twilight sparkle- really appreciate the neurotic bookish type. love the framing of her not being into being social or wanting friends until she gets friends and is like ohhhh. i love my friends. & i appreciate she never lost the slight edge of neuroticism and being a little too hardworking for her own good

princess luna- always like how they played up how out of touch she is with everything on account of moon prison and also being god. they touched on it with celestia too but luna was typically the more interesting in that regard.

#bweeeaaahh

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misfitmoggy · 3 months ago

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🪲 Hellooo im sasha but pls call me Ferris!! 🪲

🦋I also respond to Beetle or fizzy

🐞They/she/he pronouns

☘️I'm 19 yrs old

🪳I speak English and am learning Spanish

🐛I am based in the US (MST time zone)

🐝I work at a custodian at an elementary school weekday afternoons

🐌I am also enrolled in an online college course

🐜I mostly draw the rest of the time tho :3

🛸My main characters are a calico cat named Beetle who is also an alien, mirriam, a forest cryptid cat, and Cranberry Macadamia, my crk oc lol (art by me). I also just felt like adding Peter here fpr good measure (say hi peter!!!)🛸

🐈I have two cats named Toes and Eloise🐈

🎨My commisions are almost always open, prices are on my Kofi🎨

>I also sell bases there!<

☕️ https://ko-fi.com/misfitmoggy

💫I always have ocs for trade in my sales toyhouse💫

💖Interests💖

Hereditary / Ari Asters films

Cookie Run Kingdom

Slay The Princess

Clinical trial

Breaking bad

School Spirits

Greys Anatomy

Warrior Cats

Twenty One Pilots

Bluey

Felidae

Mouthwashing

Bojack horseman

Rusty Lake

My Little Pony

Stardew Valley

The Forest

Wings of fire

🌻Main toyhou.se

https://toyhou.se/8BitBeetle/art

🌾Sales Toyhou.se

https://toyhou.se/MisfitMoggy/characters

🌼 Warriors Toyhou.se

https://toyhou.se/CreepyCrawliez

🪻Discord server

https://discord.gg/2bKFkcbfeQ

🌵YouTube channel

https://youtube.com/@8BitBeetle227

🌿Instagram

https://instagram.com/8bit_beetle?igshid=NGVhN2U2NjQ0Yg==

🪴Bluesky

https://bsky.app/profile/8bitbeetle.bsky.social

🪻Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misfitmoggy

🍁Artfight

https://artfight.net/~8BitBeetle

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s00ths4yingz0di4c · 1 year ago

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coiner & flag designer of the orientations imagesexual/romantic, and the xenos fakeheartic, cosmoveric, absolutesolvic, & ultracic

yo!! i'm hunter (im 21 yej), i'm also known as wolf, revolver / rev, uzi, and reshiram / reshi. im sollunarclipsic and/or transmasc nonbinary (he/they/xe/astra/zap) and i like guys /ref, see my pronouns page for my neopronouns, xenogenders, and all the other names i use!!!

im also experimenting with the name dusk, so if you want to refer to me with that name i don't mind!!

i generally block minors/people with no age in bio/pinned, nothing personal im just making 100% sure there's no kids in my space

this post is way too long but honestly i just wrote all this shit for me anyways (/hj) so you don't have to care abt whats under the cut lol, but keep reading at your own discretion i guess (im serious whats under the cut is way too fucking long, so yeah, discretion advised)

i might be losing my house in a month

DO YOUR DAILY CLICK OR ILL BITE YOU

IF YOU'RE COMING FROM MY PROFESSIONAL SOCIALS, ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE BECAUSE I AM NOT PROFESSIONAL HERE, SEE MY BSKY FOR PROFESSIONAL CONTENT

CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD, so i'm gonna be cringe on main!!!!! im a therian AND a furry, so im ultra levels of cringe aren't i? BITE ME

yes i format my page like a 15 year old so what?? i never mentally recovered past middle school anyways

im medically diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and bipolar 1 disorder........................... ya boi is fucked up got damn (im being medicated for everything and i'm getting therapy don't worry)

in other news, i publish books under the name hunter bunnyfields !!

if you want to you can send me asks about any of the fandoms im into or ships i like just be wary about sending spoiler content (like endings or other paths) unless i've explicitly posted about it before

i'm not gonna bother listing all my ships bc im a multishipper and i have too many, and some of em are obvious from my post dividers anyways (hunter route is best route fight me idgaf i speak the truth, and im into blondes) but feel free to send me ships if you want my opinions on them (i will judge you harshly /silly)

so moving on, the fandoms im into & games i like include: cotl, fnaf, undertale, space leaper, afterl!fe, nimona, minecraft: story mode, fnf, bluey, hollow knight, msa, resident evil, steven universe, portal, prodigal son, crash bandicoot, ddlc, iron lung, ispwm, nichijou, coraline, shrek/puss in boots, musicals (bmc, deh, heathers, etc.), needy streamer overload, dynasty warriors (specifically 6)

my hyperfixations that i never stfu about no matter what im currently into are: murder drones, danganronpa, aphmau (yeah im not happy abt it either), my little pony, cookie run, warrior cats, promare, vocaloid/sekai, the legend of zelda, adventure time, what lurks beneath, stardew valley, fields of mistria, minecraft, camp buddy (mainly me and my fiance's rewrite), pokemon, sonic

some things i'm looking to get into/games i'm one day planning to play/tv stuff i wanna watch include: left 4 dead, before your eyes, nine sols, a plague tale, dust: an elysian tale, kingdom hearts, sky, skyrim, klonoa, life is strange, fire emblem, ori & the will of the wisps, somali and the forest spirit, beastars, brand new animal, yellowstone, wicked, the spiderverse, lego monkey kid, the bad guys, turning red

feel free to ask me about any of these fandoms idrc i like talking!!!!!!!! i also forget that im in most of these fandoms half the time and i'm sure there's more i've forgotten to add im just stupid

dont send me spoilers from the things im not into ill block you lol

unfortunately, im also a big fan of games made by h/y/verse (except for tot). however, i've ceased playing them because of a general disdain for the company (which has been building up since sum/ru's release, and came to a boiling point following the VA strikes and the company's decision to replace vas instead of cooperate)

i don't mind being sent imagines, headcanons, spoilers, whatever, from the main 3 games (gi, hi3, hsr) because i do follow the games through playthroughs / wiki reading exclusively, but i try to avoid engaging in fandom content

i am a system, and several of my headmates utilize designs of characters specifically from g/nsh/n, but we are disconnected from the source material. we try not to spread fandom content relating to them for their comfort (especially my wand3r3r fictive, primarly in terms of sc4ram0uche content)

i have a personal connection with alb3do & wand3r3r, and two of my most active headmates use the characters as appearances. i primarily pay attention to their lore over the entire game itself. the only fandom content i choose to engage with relates to those two characters pretty much exclusively. outside of them, i heavily identify personally with fr3min3t and occasionally use the name for myself, so i may also engage with content of him as well

anyways, if you wanna talk stuff i used to be a fan of, then you can also talk to me about: tadc, tower of fantasy, food fantasy, mystic messenger, deltarune, the walking dead (+ fear & world beyond), ace attorney, mario, among us, tmnt, league of legends (awful, ik), persona 5 (+ royal), detroit: become human, bnha, chunibyou, higurashi, alien nine, regular show, anything disney/pixar tbh, zootopia, dc/marvel, yttd, afk journey, lackadaisy, ninjago, professor layton

just keep in mind when talking about the above things that i have not kept up with/indulged in content from these series in probably years, so my memory might be shot for a lot of them. i may not remember stories/characters/titles too well, so yeah just fair warning

yes im a kinnie no i don't care about doubles no i won't tell you my full kin list i'll just randomly drop the fact i kin characters sometimes (this is a lie; i have pretty much all of my kin names on my pronouns page, i've just got some of em as friends only lmao, but i do clear them out if i dont like being referred to by certain names)

if you want a few characters / creatures i heavily identify with, if it wasn't already obvious by my intro / pronouns page, my mains are: fr3minet from g3nshin imp4ct, uzi from murder drones, moxie from the lonely wolf series, reshiram & lugia from pokemon, kokichi ouma from danganronpa v3, & hunter springfield from camp buddy

some of my other major kins include wand3r3r, lio fotia, h3rrscher of senti3nce, vflower, ivypool, jayfeather, starlight glimmer, surge the tenrec, kieran (pkmn), and finn (at)

i kin more characters, those are just the main ones. i'm the worst combination of all your least favourite character tropes!!!!

feel free to ask me about my kins if you want, or ask what kin shift im in idrc. i dont kin shift that much anymore but sometimes i do. i have tons of kin names on my pronouns page so there's that too

i do edits and moodboards sometimes??? i guess?? sometimes i'll make icons or whatever, sometimes i do fancy dividers, hell did you guys know im an artist?? i do art sometimes too, occasionally i do sprite edits if i feel like it but i'm not that good at replicating artstyles so shrugs, mainly just do ur classic 2018 tumblr edits here

so uh if you want some icons or whatever the fuck else i listed

✨ Feel Free To Send Requests ✨

i don't have much of a blacklist other than don't be weird about ships (so no pr*sh*p stuff) and don't ask for nsfw/gorey stuff

but i do edits pretty rarely so don't expect a lot from me lmaooo

for some reason i also made tags for some of my bs ramblings so stuff usually tagged with .txt is miscellaneous bullshit i post (ocasionally some of my posts are funny, i think)

some, but not all of them, may include: legendary post archive.txt, the brainrot.txt, random.txt, art.txt, psa.txt, save.txt/saves.txt, asks.txt, fave.txt, signal boost.txt, promo.txt, textingronpa.txt, the journal.txt, ask meme.txt

most of my personal ramblings go under random.txt but occasionally i add other stuff, so if the tumblr search function allows you to peruse the tags go ahead idrc if you do

a lot of my posts are LONG POSTS, so if you don't wanna see long posts please blacklist the 'long post tw' or 'long post' tags bc that's what i normally tag them as!!! yes, i mean it, ill post them a lot

if you see something tagged as 'ask meme.txt' whether you're scrolling through my blog or i just reblogged it, you can send me shit for it and i'll find the original post i swear, send me shit from 13 years ago idgaf ill answer it bc im bored

stuff that goes into 'the brainrot.txt' is usually random fandom shit that pretty much has made a permanent place in my brain, despite my current obsession being different this shit somehow always manages to have a grip on me, and i use this tag a lot so lmao (tbh it's primarily full of saiouma fanart and imagines so deal with it)

hey i have a shit ton of ✨ social media ✨ and ✨ miscellaneous bullshit websites ✨ if you wanna check em out, idk why you'd wanna do that tho all my cringeposting is already here

BLUESKY || TOYHOU.SE || MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE REDBUBBLE || FANDOM WIKIA || TWITCH || AO3 SQW || WATTPAD || DEVIANTART || ARTFIGHT COMICFURY || MAIN YOUTUBE || GAMEJOLT PATREON || POKEFARM || FANDOM YOUTUBE

i've got some accs i'm only leaving up to ward off impersonators, so i'm not linking them here, but if you want to know what they are idrc if you just ask me through the askbox or whateve, i never use the accs so like who gives a fuck lmfao

#pinned post #random.txt #YES I MADE ANOTHER ONE SHUT UP #I STARTED TO HATE THE OLD ONE REALLY BADLY

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