#My hatred for both runs deep I just want to see what others think

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Existence Value: Why All of Nature is Important Whether We Can Use it or Not

I spend a lot of time around other nature nerds. We’re a bunch of people from varying backgrounds, places, and generations who all find a deep well of inspiration within the natural world. We’re the sort of people who will happily spend all day outside enjoying seeing wildlife and their habitats without any sort of secondary goal like fishing, foraging, etc. (though some of us engage in those activities, too.) We don’t just fall in love with the places we’ve been, either, but wild locales that we’ve only ever seen in pictures, or heard of from others. We are curators of existence value.

Existence value is exactly what it sounds like–something is considered important and worthwhile simply because it is. It’s at odds with how a lot of folks here in the United States view our “natural resources.” It’s also telling that that is the term most often used to refer collectively to anything that is not a human being, something we have created, or a species we have domesticated, and I have run into many people in my lifetime for whom the only value nature has is what money can be extracted from it. Timber, minerals, water, meat (wild and domestic), mushrooms, and more–for some, these are the sole reasons nature exists, especially if they can be sold for profit. When questioning how deeply imbalanced and harmful our extractive processes have become, I’ve often been told “Well, that’s just the way it is,” as if we shall be forever frozen in the mid-20th century with no opportunity to reimagine industry, technology, or uses thereof.

Moreover, we often assign positive or negative value to a being or place based on whether it directly benefits us or not. Look at how many people want to see deer and elk numbers skyrocket so that they have more to hunt, while advocating for going back to the days when people shot every gray wolf they came across. Barry Holstun Lopez’ classic Of Wolves and Men is just one of several in-depth looks at how deeply ingrained that hatred of the “big bad wolf” is in western mindsets, simply because wolves inconveniently prey on livestock and compete with us for dwindling areas of wild land and the wild game that sustained both species’ ancestors for many millennia. “Good” species are those that give us things; “bad” species are those that refuse to be so complacent.

Even the modern conservation movement often has to appeal to people’s selfishness in order to get us to care about nature. Look at how often we have to argue that a species of rare plant is worth saving because it might have a compound in it we could use for medicine. Think about how we’ve had to explain that we need biodiverse ecosystems, healthy soil, and clean water and air because of the ecosystem services they provide us. We measure the value of trees in dollars based on how they can mitigate air pollution and anthropogenic climate change. It’s frankly depressing how many people won’t understand a problem until we put things in terms of their own self-interest and make it personal. (I see that less as an individual failing, and more our society’s failure to teach empathy and emotional skills in general, but that’s a post for another time.)

Existence value flies in the face of all of those presumptions. It says that a wild animal, or a fungus, or a landscape, is worth preserving simply because it is there, and that is good enough. It argues that the white-tailed deer and the gray wolf are equally valuable regardless of what we think of them or get from them, in part because both are keystone species that have massive positive impacts on the ecosystems they are a part of, and their loss is ecologically devastating.

But even those species whose ecological impact isn’t quite so wide-ranging are still considered to have existence value. And we don’t have to have personally interacted with a place or its natural inhabitants in order to understand their existence value, either. I may never get to visit the Maasai Mara in Kenya, but I wish to see it as protected and cared for as places I visit regularly, like Willapa National Wildlife Refuge. And there are countless other places, whose names I may never know and which may be no larger than a fraction of an acre, that are important in their own right.

I would like more people (in western societies in particular) to be considering this concept of existence value. What happens when we detangle non-human nature from the automatic value judgements we place on it according to our own biases? When we question why we hold certain values, where those values came from, and the motivations of those who handed them to us in the first place, it makes it easier to see the complicated messes beneath the simple, shiny veneer of “Well, that’s just the way it is.”

And then we get to that most dangerous of realizations: it doesn’t have to be this way. It can be different, and better, taking the best of what we’ve accomplished over the years and creating better solutions for the worst of what we’ve done. In the words of Rebecca Buck–aka Tank Girl–“We can be wonderful. We can be magnificent. We can turn this shit around.”

Let’s be clear: rethinking is just the first step. We can’t just uproot ourselves from our current, deeply entrenched technological, social, and environmental situation and instantly create a new way of doing things. Societal change takes time; it takes generations. This is how we got into that situation, and it’s how we’re going to climb out of it and hopefully into something better. Sometimes the best we can do is celebrate small, incremental victories–but that’s better than nothing at all.

Nor can we just ignore the immensely disproportionate impact that has been made on indigenous and other disadvantaged communities by our society (even in some cases where we’ve actually been trying to fix the problems we’ve created.) It does no good to accept nature’s inherent value on its own terms if we do not also extend that acceptance throughout our own society, and to our entire species as a whole.

But I think ruminating on this concept of existence value is a good first step toward breaking ourselves out first and foremost. And then we go from there.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider taking one of my online foraging and natural history classes or hiring me for a guided nature tour, checking out my other articles, or picking up a paperback or ebook I’ve written! You can even buy me a coffee here!

[solarissun]

We are never, ever getting back together.

afab!reader x aged up Clapton Davis

Summary: You moved houses and jobs just to get away from Mike after he abandoned you and your 6-year relationship. But, one day he shows up in the vacant apartment next to yours. You quickly make it your mission to make every night a living hell for him with the (unknowing) help of your old high school fling.

WC: 3.9k

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, enemies to lover, afab reader, p in v, fingering, hair pulling, porn with plot, no use of y/n, hard dom, unprotected (wrap it please), angst, exes, daydreamed violence, aged up character

A/N: I’ve never posted my writing before due to being insecure, but now that I discovered this fandom on Tumblr, I decided to suck it up and see where it goes! I’m sorry if this is bad, I wrote it at 3 am two nights in a row. I just had to write something before I forgot all my ideas. Enjoy!

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You hated him. You hated him so fucking much. All you wanted to do was watch him wear your hands around his neck like a necklace. And there he was, standing outside the vacant apartment beside yours, cardboard boxes surrounding him.

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You're running late to work, having slept through your alarm. You quickly hop out of bed, jump into the shower, and throw on whatever clean enough clothes are on your laundry pile.

As you run out your door, you pause, noticing the piles of boxes lining up the wall of the apartment next to yours. You smile, waiting for whoever it is to walk out. You honestly didn’t mind your previous neighbors. By all means, they weren’t the friendliest of people. They’d bang on your walls if you even played your music one digit too loud.

So, honestly, you couldn’t help but admit you were pretty happy when they moved out. As you eye the boxes that take up half the hall, you feel yourself getting excited.

After a few moments, you see him.

Your heart drops, and you feel your whole life falling apart in just one second. He turns to look at you, your eyes locked on each other. Both of you pause, not a word leaving your mouths.

Almost exactly 2 and a half years ago, the love of your life, the man you pictured spending the rest of your days with, left. He didn’t warn you, he didn’t even call. You came home, and all of his and his sister's belongings were completely cleared out of your apartment, gone without a trace. All he left you was a text. A single text.

“I found someone new, I’m sorry. I truly wish you the best. I hope someday you’ll forgive me.”

After a few months of rotting in your bed with mascara-stained pillows and tear-soaked bed sheets, you got tired of wasting away. You moved away to a new, cheaper apartment, not warning anyone of your departure. You wanted a fresh start. A new job, a new home. A new you. All you craved was a way to forget the past, and you were so close.

Except after 2 years, the past was standing in front of you, only a few feet away. Anger bubbles within you, the deep cuts he left when he abandoned you all of those years ago tearing open and filling with nothing but pure, burning hatred.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You say, his face twisting.. into god knows what. You want to ask him so many questions. You want to get on your knees and beg him to tell you why he did what he did. At the same time, you want to sock him in his mouth. Instead of doing either, you turn on your heel, walking away as fast as you possibly can.

He doesn’t call after you, he doesn’t chase you. Instead, you hear the faint click of a door shutting behind you. Your anger turns to anguish as you hurry down the hallway, trying desperately to put as much distance between him and you before breaking down. You find a maintenance closet, slam it behind you, and sink to the floor. You sob until your throat is destroyed and your eyes are dry.

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All you can think about while you work is him. Are you grading your students' homework? Mike. You’re yelling at your class for being too Rowdy? Mike. He lives in your head the entire day, and no matter how hard you try, all you can think of is the look on his face when he saw you just a few hours ago.

The school day is finally over, but you dread going home. You wish you could curl up under your desk and live there for the next few decades. But you can’t, so you suck it up and drive back to your apartment.

You get to your door, fumbling with your keys as you quickly try and escape the hallway. You hear the door next to yours click open. You rest your head against your door in defeat. He walks by you quickly, not even glancing towards you. You clench your fists, swinging your door open as soon as you unlock it, slamming it so hard behind you the frame shakes.

You want to cry, just like you did before. But no tears spill. Your eyes don’t even water. All you feel is rage.

You decide right then and there, you're going to make him suffer for what he did to you. Besides, maybe if you truly make him miserable he’ll move back to wherever the hell he came from.

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Later that night, you start plotting different ways you can get him to pack up his shit and run away with his tail between his legs. You think of hundreds of possibilities ranging from glitter bombs in his mail to… Clapton. You shake the thought out of your head immediately. You can’t do that to him. He’d probably be down for anything, to be honest.

Despite that, you tuck the idea into the back of your head, writing it off as a last resort. You want to start with more petty things before immediately jumping to the most extreme idea your mind can muster.

You quickly form a short list in your head, smiling as you daydream the look on Mike's face as you go through each scenario. Around midnight, after you finish coming up with every possible insane revenge plot you can think of, you crawl into bed.

After tucking yourself in, you Bluetooth your phone to a speaker, turning it up. You play the most infuriating, mind-numbing song you can think of. It starts blasting out, the speaker shaking on your bedside table. You sigh, sinking into your pillow as you hear Mike’s old bed springs creak through the wall.

You sit there for what feels like hours, the same song looping repeatedly. He doesn't knock on the door. You don't even hear him speak, let alone breathe through the wall. You groan, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you realize it might be pointless.

Despite your failure on the first night, you continue to blast the same song night after night, all with the same result. After almost 3 nights of getting only a few hours of sleep, you give up. You have to step up your game if you want to get results.

A few weeks pass without you tormenting him. You want to make him feel safe. You want to make him feel like you realized it was all a waste of time. Well, you also waited a few weeks since that's how long it took for the prank package you ordered to come. Sure, the package was a bit pricey, but you decided it was worth it either way. As soon as the post office stops by your apartment, you snatch up the box, almost ripping it out of the poor mailman's hands.

You quickly customize it so Mike believes not only is it his mail, but that some random man from Florida sent it. At first, you had thought to sneak into his apartment and throw glitter over everything, just like you'd do back in high school. But, you need to be careful about how you go about this. Unless you want a lawsuit to land in your lap, you need at least some amount of deniability

After deciding it's perfect, you leave it directly in front of his door. He might think the placement of the box is a tad suspicious, but you rationalize it by telling yourself he’ll feel so special he’ll open it on the spot.

After a few hours, Mike comes home from what you assume is work. A part of you wonders why in the world he works on the weekends as well. You forget about the thought quickly as you flip open your phone, watching through the camera that comes with the box. You watch in anticipation as you hear the sound of tape tearing off of the cardboard. Your smile widens as you see Mike's face appear in the frame, peeking into the box.

After a few heartbeats green, blue, and pink glitter explodes directly into his face. He yelps, dropping the box immediately. As soon as the box thunks against the door, more glitter explodes out, covering his entire living room. You hear him groan through the wall, grumbling about how petty and childish you are.

You’re laughing way too hard to even care he knew it was you. Tears start streaming down your face, and you clutch your stomach as you try to breathe. You finally got him. You feel on top of the world as you look at the camera through blurry eyes. All you see is a beet-red Mike decked out in sparkles. You start laughing even harder as he flips off the camera before stomping on it, destroying the feed.

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Despite how his misery made you feel at first, you start to get a little less happy as the days pass by. He hasn’t talked to you about it and he hasn’t told anyone what went down, not even the landlord. A fraction of you begins to feel a little worried he might be planning. As you ponder the thought, you hear a knock on your door.

You creep over to the peephole, seeing no one standing at your door. You crack it open, worried Mike might be standing outside, waiting to ambush you. Instead of Mike standing around the corner with an airsoft gun, there's an Amazon package.

You smile, realizing exactly what it is. You ordered soundproof headphones so you could sleep while also torturing Mike. You quickly take it to your kitchen, tearing it open without a second thought.

What. The. Fuck.

Glitter sprays everywhere. Directly into your eyes, all over your dining table, all over the countertops. It even reaches the sink. You scream as you try and claw the glitter away from your face. As you stumble towards the sink, glitter continues to coat your entire kitchen.

This means war.

You immediately flip open your phone, not even bothering to clean the mass of glitter that’s coating your kitchen. You text the one person you know would do anything for you.

“I need you, Clapton.”

He found someone new? Well, so did you. And you’re going to do everything in your power to make sure he fucking knows.

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During your high school years, you and Mike became inseparable. It was the two of you against the world... Until Clapton Davis came along. The three of you became the best of friends. You always knew Mike was jealous of Clapton and how much he captured your attention. Despite how you felt towards him while you were younger, you chose Mike. And he threw it all away for some random bitch.

So, now you’re choosing Clapton.

A month ago, you two decided to reconnect and reminisce about old times. You had him over a few times just to watch a few movies, but the most you’ve done is kiss. Every time he’d come over, you knew he wanted more. And he was getting exactly that.

You lay in bed, waiting for just the right time. Around 2 am, you smile to yourself as you faintly hear Mike shuffle into bed and sigh as he sinks into it. Thank god for the paper-thin walls. You reach over to your bedside table, squinting into the light. You flip to Clapton's contact and text, “Do you think you could come over right now?” You had originally told him to come over the next night, but it had to be at an ungodly hour, or it wouldn't be as satisfying. Almost immediately He texts you back, “Are you okay?”

“I just need to see you sooner.” He immediately texts back a thumbs up, and after a little over 10 minutes you hear a knock at your door. You unzip your hoodie, quickly making your way to the front of your apartment. You open the door and there he is. He clearly had just woken up, wearing a tank top and grey checkered pajama pants. A fraction of you feel bad for calling him over like this, but you push it aside and remember who’s sleeping just on the other side of your bedroom wall.

He raises his eyebrow, unsure of how to ask why you ‘needed him.’ You don’t give any explanation before you throw yourself at him. You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him. He sucks in a breath, clearly confused. That confusion vanishes when you press yourself against him, pulling his waist against yours.

He wraps his arms around your waist, walking you into your apartment. He walks you backward, your back hitting the kitchen counter. You whimper as you feel him hoist your thigh up, holding it as his hip. Suddenly, he pulls away. Your eyes flutter open and you look up at him, your eyebrow furrowed. You sigh as you see him looking at your kitchen in utter confusion. “What in God's name happened?”

The kitchen is still completely decked out in glitter. The moonlight slithers its way through the window, illuminating the sparkles, making it look like a thousand stars splattered against the walls. You laugh a little, brushing it off. “Nothing Important.” He seems like he wants to say more, but as you grind your hips against his, he immediately forgets it. He groans, bending down to press his lips against your neck.

You tangle your hands through his hair as you feel his lips brush your neck. He starts sucking the skin below your pulse, making you whine into his ear. You gasp as you feel his teeth meet the plush skin, nipping at the sore spot. You slowly start grinding against him harder as his tongue swipes across the already numb skin. He groans against your neck, his breath hot against it.

His fingers slowly brush down your body, leaving goosebumps erupting on every inch he touches. His hand reaches your waistband, fiddling with the elastic. You whine against his shoulder as his fingers dip lower, rubbing your clit through the thin fabric. You slowly grind your hips against his finger, desperate for more friction. He picks you up by your thighs, his fingers digging into the skin. You wrap your legs tight around his waist, holding onto his neck. He quickly carries you to your bedroom, throwing you down as he reaches your bed. He lays you down, sliding next to you.

He presses his lips against yours again, this time wasting no time to dip his fingers into your panties, not even bothering to remove them. He drags his digits through your folds, circling your clit. “Shit, you’re already so wet.” He gasps out. His middle finger teases your entrance before slowly sliding in. He slowly pumps in and out of you, curling his fingers on the spongy parts inside of you, hitting all the right spots.

“You like that?” He asks, and you nod, unable to form a coherent sentence. You feel him add another finger and your walls clench around him. “Fuck!” You cry out, frantically grinding against the palm of his hand begging for more.

He adds a third finger, and you see stars. He pumps faster and faster, bringing you dangerously close to the edge. You just barely overplay your volume, remembering Mike. As soon as your legs begin to shake, he removes his fingers, ruining your orgasm and leaving you feeling empty. Your eyes flutter open and you stare at him, whimpering.

He slowly puts the fingers that were just inside you in his mouth, cleaning them off. You bite your lip as he blinks at you through his long eyelashes, savoring the taste. He smiles down at you once he’s done, sliding your zip-up off your shoulders. He slowly undresses you, a pile of clothes beginning to form on the floor. He leaves you in nothing but your panties. His breath hitches in his throat as he studies every curve of your body.

You do the same to him, helping him pull his shirt off his head. Your hands quickly fly down to his jeans, unbuttoning them and sliding them down to his ankles. His tight grey boxers leave little to the imagination as you see the outline of his hard-on, begging to be free. You do exactly that, pulling them off of him. His dick springs free, hitting his stomach.

Your eyes trail along every vein and detail, taking him in. He’s average, but somewhat girthy. The tip is hard and red, already leaking with pre-cum, slowly dripping down his shaft. You reach out, your thumb collecting it. You stare into his eyes as you suck it off of the pad, a bittersweet taste spreading across your tongue. As soon as your thumb pops out of your mouth, he grips onto your hips, pulling him on top of you. He slides your panties to the side and you moan feeling the cold air hit you. He slides his tip through your folds, collecting the wetness.

You slowly sink down onto him, gasping as his tip enters you. He grips your waist harder, holding you down. “You can take it.” He moans out. He slowly pushes himself in a little more, and you swear you hear him whimper. You cry out, laying down on his chest. “Shit!” He goes inch by inch, and you groan louder and louder as he fills you out.

He pushes in, faster this time, and you finally feel his hips meet yours. “You’re such- Shit! You’re such a good girl.” Suddenly, he grabs you harder by the waist, flipping you over. You gasp as your bare stomach meets the rough sheets of the bed. He grabs your hair, pulling you against his chest, somehow hitting so deep you see white.

You moan out his name louder and louder as each thrust inside of you quickens. He shoves you back down against the bed, thrusting so hard the headboard begins to slam against the wall. You smile into the sheets realizing the torture Mike must be going through right now. “You’re taking me so well…” He grumbles out, pushing deeper into you.

The smile is immediately wiped off your face as he moves one hand away from your hair and slithers it down to your clit. He rubs circles on it with 2 fingers. You grip your fingers into the bed sheets, screaming into the mattress. Your vision starts getting blurry as the knot in your stomach gets tighter and tighter. Pure euphoria tears through you as his fingers quicken as well as his hips.

“I’m close-“ He groans out as your walls clench around him. He rubs faster and faster circles on your clit and your legs start to shake uncontrollably. You scream louder and louder, and your walls start to spasm. Quickly you hurdle over the finish line, coming all over his dick. You feel tears running down your cheeks as you feel him release inside of you, his hips stuttering.

You call out his name one last time before he pulls out of you, lying down next to you. He looks over at you, tears spilling down your face and your fingers still bunched up in the bedsheets. He laughs as you give him a shaky smile.

“I’ve imagined that since grade 12..” He whispers out. He reaches towards you, brushing your hair that’s plastered to your face with sweat. “Me too..” You smile, moving forward to press your lips against his. He kisses you back, pulling you on top of him. He smiles up at you, his face flushed.

“Round two?”

⚫︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡⚫︎

Your eyes flutter open, the warm sun creeping through the blinds, bathing your room in a warm orange glow. You slowly reach next to you, feeling the muscles on Clapton's back. He stirs, turning onto his back. His eyes slowly open, and he slowly looks over at you. He stretches up, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I better go…” You get up as well, turning and placing your feet on the cold wood floors. You gather up his and your clothes from last night, handing them to him. After you're both dressed, you lead him to your front door. He opens it and steps out into the hallway, starting towards the elevator.

As soon as you hear Mike's door click open, you quickly grab Clapton's wrist, pulling him back towards you. You get on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. He grabs your waist, pulling you against him. He slips his tongue in your mouth, his hand untangling your hair. After a few seconds, you pull away, resting your forehead on his.

“I’ll see you around?” He says, smiling. “Of course.” You grin, pecking his cheek. He unwraps himself from you, turns around, and walks away. He doesn’t even seem to notice his old best friend who is standing just a few feet away, watching.

Once Clapton’s out of sight, you turn to look at Mike. Oh, he looks absolutely wrecked. His curls are a tangled mess and the bags under his eyes are even deeper than you’ve ever seen them. He has the same look on his face you’ve seen him have when men would flirt with you on your dates. But, he also just looks.. sad. You expect him to turn back into his apartment and walk away but he speaks instead.

“The glitter wasn’t enough for you, huh?” You scoff, anger filling inside you at his audacity. “A girl can’t have fun?” He raises an eyebrow at you and a small smirk creeps onto his face. “You think I don’t know how purposeful that was? Do you have any respect for others?” You laugh, right in his face. His mouth twists into a nasty scowl, his stupid smirk wiping immediately off his face.

“Mike, I lost every bit of decency I had towards you when you abandoned me for some..” You don’t finish the sentence, instead letting his mind fill in the blank. He doesn’t look angry, he just looks disappointed. He looked at you like that when you were still together.

You’ve always hated that look.

He opens his mouth and closes it, clearly wanting to say something important but deciding against it. He shakes his head and turns back into his apartment, closing the door behind him softly.

You do the same, opening your door and sliding down with your back against it. You pull your knees up to your chest, rubbing the bruises on your sides that Clapton left. You rest your head on your knees and sigh.

“God, what am I doing?”

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

[theelvisprincess]

Pathetic

‘’I can’t.’’ You sob as you desperately move your hips on top of Elvis’ clothed thigh. Looking up at him through cloudy eyes due to the tears that were threatening to spill, you tighten your little grip, pulling his suede jacket towards you. 

‘’Is it not enouf’?’’ He grumbles, lazily staring at your round butt through the mirror that was stationed behind your trembling figure. You shake your head, letting go of his jacket to gain more balance. You place your hands directly in front of you to get more friction. ‘’P-please I….please.’’ You miserably plead, looking up at him with an expression that reminded him of a kicked puppy. 

This alone was making Elvis go internally crazy, he wanted nothing more than to just bend you over his office desk and roughly fuck you into the wood but he knew he couldn’t do that,,, at least not yet. Grazing his pointer finger along his top lip- he sadistically peers down at you. God, you look like a complete mess. His length twitches against his leg as he takes you in. Your once perfect mascara running down your rosy cheeks, puffy lips glossy from the tears, your usually done up hair that he pays for- lowering with each desperate grind. He had to stifle a groan from just how pathetic you look.. A piece of him almost felt bad for torturing you like this. Having roughly grabbed your hips to halt any further movement as soon as he would hear those oh so familiar whines meaning you were close- trickle out of your plump pink lips four times already.

‘’Poor baby. What do you need, hm?’’ He softly coos as he leaves a trail of wet kisses behind your ear, making his way down to your glistening neck. The cigar smoke hits your waist as he brings his right hand to gently graze your lower belly making you squirm. 

‘’T-touch my-my sweet spot.’’ You whine as he bounces his leg once, rubbing his thigh against your sensitive nub- loving the sound he pulls from you by doing so. Dropping your head on the front of his shoulder, you begin to let out little tiny sobs. You don’t know what you did wrong. One minute he was parading you around to his friends and giving you tender kisses then the next he was forcefully pulling you up the stairs. Trying to think about the day, you gasp as he roughly pinches your nipple.

‘’Look at me.’’ He harshly grits through his teeth as he roughly grabs your chin with his other hand, forcing you to look up. You can’t help but softly cry as you feel his rings dig into you. The hatred seething from his blue eyes is something entirely new to you. 

‘’You wan me to touch you, honey?’’ Tauntingly questioning, he begins to run his left hand slowly up your trembling thigh. Letting a loud moan embarrassingly escape from your lips, you begin to rapidly nod as his hand gets closer to where you’ve been craving him to be for the past hour. Clenching around nothing, you close your eyes- too overstimulated with the feeling of his calloused fingertips toying with your pink panties.

‘’Shhh, you don’t wan’ everyone downstairs to hear how much of a needy slut your being, do ya?’’ His deep southern voice grumbles into the crane of your neck- knowing damn well it's exactly what he wants. Everyone to hear his poor girl fall apart like putty in his hands.

Shivering from his breath fanning your neck, you quickly shake your head- placing your bottom lip between your teeth in order to not let any noises out.’’Atta girl.’’ He lovingly praises

His temper switching on a dime, he once again harshly talks down to you- ‘’Did I tell ya ta fuckin stop? Keep goin.’’ Roughly grabbing your hips with both his hands to move you against him, you feel the bud of the cigar burn your side. Squealing, you quickly obey and start moving your hips at a faster pace than before. Desperate for release- you slowly move your tiny hand to graze your sweet spot hoping Elvis won’t see. Mewling at the friction, you feel that familiar warmth build up in your lower stomach. 

He couldn’t help but just watch for a few seconds, moving his hand to palm himself slightly at the sight of you hopelessly trying to make yourself cum.’’Fuckin pathetic.’’ He huffs to himself as he wraps his other hand around your wrist to stop you from pleasuring yourself. Whining you look up at him. ‘’I can’t do it…I can’t… need more.’’ You sob as you miserably plead for his help. 

‘’You're no fu’n. It’s either this or nuthin, little girl.’’ He cruelly states reminding you of your place. Wetness pools from your virgin hole as you hear the nickname. 

Groaning at the feeling of it coating his thigh, he softly gives you multiple kisses to your temple breathing in your sweet scent. ‘’You ain’t mad at daddy, right? He’s just playing with ya a little thas all.’’ He coos giving your temple one last kiss.

You loudly whine as the feeling in your lower belly starts to get more intense. Moving quicker against his black pants- your head falls forward onto his shoulder once again. ‘’N-never.’’ You softly moan as you continue to get closer and closer to your orgasm.

‘’Good.’’ 

Elvis harshly grabs your hips with his large hands stopping your needy movements. Your glossy eyes shoot open as frantic pleas spill from your bruised lips. Watching you claw at his jacket, he couldn't stop himself from chuckling at you as his half lidded eyes peered down. Lustfully taking in your current state, he pouts his lip at you as if taunting you.

‘’This is exactly what you deserve for laughin at ole Jer’s stupid joke.’’ He states, jealousy seething through his teeth- ice cold eyes piercing into yours as he takes in your blood shot ones. 

------ -------------------- ------

Thank you for reading!! This was a super SHORT N fast quickwrite I put together in the last hour. Let me know what ya'll think n I hope you enjoyed. I am sorry it was rushed and not as detailed as I make my others... mm sleepy. Love ya'll

tag list: @elviswhore69 @hooked-on-elvis @atleastpleasetelephone @elvisvideos @eptodaytommorowforever @wanderingelvis @elvisslut @elvislittleone @polksaladava @thelonelyheart @jacksonwayne-blog @elvispresley1956 @iloveelvisss @ssinnerplazahotel

[snooyaki]

𓂃 ⋆⑅˚₊ ICE FAIRY ❅

paring ୨୧ sunghoon x female reader genre ୨୧ fluff

warnings ୨୧ cussing, pressured hoon wc ୨୧ 1517

a/n: im not gna lie this isnt my best 😅 but i hope you all enjoy it either way ! LOL

SHE COULDN’T BELIEVE the words coming out of her teachers mouth. it was like everything had stopped around her, tuning out the world to only focus on the negative thoughts running through her mind.

“park sunghoon??? you want me to write the school paper on park sunghoon??”

y/n was not a fan of figure skating, that was a fact. sure it was an elegant and beautiful sport to watch, but she believed all figure skaters were stuck up narcissists. a controversial opinion, but true to her. never in her two years of being the head journalist for the school’s newspaper would she have thought of covering the sport she hated most.

hated all because of park sunghoon.

sunghoon was the talk of the town. y/n had to admit, he had the whole package. tall, freakishly good looking, excelled in all of his classes — but there was just one thing missing. a heart. just like his profession, sunghoon was cold, rude, and narcissistic in y/n’s eyes. god was she dreading this interview.

“oh come on y/n, having thee park sunghoon in the paper would be a hit!“ the teacher spoke, beaming with excitement. y/n couldn’t let her favourite teacher down with the look on the teachers face.

“i expect your piece to be done by thursday the latest.”

y/n’s eyes widened largely, jaw dropping at the new information that was given. “thursday..? but thursday is in like, three days!” the girl exclaimed, the panic soon beginning to rise.

tomorrow. you had to talk to the ice prince tomorrow? she wasn’t prepared. she didn’t have time to mentally prepare herself before facing satan himself. y/n was quite the dramatic.

“so you better get on it. good luck!”

y/n stood in the empty club room dumbstruck. sunghoon hated your guts. the both of you weren’t cut out to make this paper a success. but y/n had to try. this was her job. she wasn’t going to let a little ice fairy get in her way.

the girl took a deep breath in, nodding her head in determination with a light grin playing on her lips.

“you’ve got this.”

ೀ

‘you so dont got this.’ was all y/n could think as she stood in the cold rink, watching as the skaters danced across the ice with their pristine charisma. y/n could smell the snobbiness from a mile away.

the girl’s eyes scanned the ice in search of a particular boy, before here eyes had stopped. there he was, thee park sunghoon. thee ice prince of korea.

‘bullshit.’ was all that went through your head with an eye roll.

y/n watched carefully as sunghoon’s sharp eyes met hers, feeling her body immediately stiffen. sunghoon intimidated the hell out of her, but she would never admit that.

‘god … why does he have to be so good looking?’

sunghoon began making his way over to the girl, raising an eyebrow in curiousness. “l/n y/n …. i would have never thought to see you here.” the boy snickered, earning a scoff from the other.

sunghoon knew your hatred towards him and his sport. it amused him. he didn’t know why he found you quite amusing.

“lets just make this short, and simple, ice fairy.” y/n sternly spoke with a soft sigh in defeat heard in her tone, staring up into his eyes. his dark beautiful eyes— no. she needed to get a hold of herself.

y/n was snapped back into reality at the sudden head shake in protest for sunghoon, causing a scowl to quickly form over her face. “what is that supposed to mean?”

sunghoon chuckled to himself, gazing down at the ice before that smirk played on his lips. that stupid fangy smirk you hated, but loved so much.

sunghoon met your eyes once again, his expression only hardening. “you want to talk?” sunghoon questioned, cocking his head to the side in a teasing manner, confusing y/n. “i only talk on the ice.”

oh how park sunghoon made your blood boil.

“w-what?? sunghoon you cant be serious!” you shouted at the male, but it was too late. he was already skating backwards, deeper into the rink with a simple shrug as his response.

today was going to be a long day.

and that it was. of course y/n didn’t know how to skate. trying to keep up with sunghoon on the ice while focusing on the questions written down in her notepad was a challenge. especially when the figure skater refused to be cooperative. the voice recording only consisted of sunghoons devilish snickers followed by, “ow!”, “be serious!”, “fuck you sunghoon!”.

y/n couldn’t possibly see this was going in the right direction.

“do you ever feel like you’re missing out on a ‘normal’ high school experience? i mean because of your intense training schedule, you barely even—“

sunghoon stopped abruptly, letting out a harsh sigh as the white puff escaped from his lips. he was irritated. you could tell. the way his dark eyebrows crinkled in frustration as his fang poked at his bottom lip.

“are there any other questions?” sunghoon spat harshly, causing y/n to raise her eyebrow in surprise at the male’s sudden outburst. it took the girl by surprise, although on proved her point further on her opinion of figure skaters.

‘arrogant and annoying.’ she thought, a deep sigh coming from her as she scanned over the rest of her questions. “okay. how do you deal with the pressure of competitions, especially with so many eyes watching you—“

you were cut off again.

“im done with this interview.” sunghoon stated, as your eyes widened at his response.

“what?? but i didnt even get to finish my questions!” she exclaimed, attempting to chase after the boy on her skates only to fail miserably.

“youve got enough answers.” sunghoon coldly spoke over his shoulder, getting off of the ice before stomping away.

y/n’s eyes scanned sunghoons face, seeing the irritation and anger written all over her expression. she felt … bad?

maybe she went a little too far.

the next day at school was rough. y/n tried grabbing sunghoon’s attention all day, but he wouldn’t even look her way. in the hallway as she waved her hands like a crazy person, in the lunchroom where she shouted his name multiple times earning odd stares from the students around her, and right now, as she stood by his locker waiting for him to arrive.

y/n wanted to apologize. after she had replied the encounter in her mind over three hundred times last night, she could see why sunghoon had gotten so upset. her questions were provoking him. she hadn’t even realized she wrote them in a way that would purposely irritate him.

y/n gazed down at her feet as she leaned her back up against sunghoon’s locker. the girl nibbled on her bottom lip nervously, before hearing footsteps approaching. that was until two feet appeared in front of hers. y/n slowly trailed her gaze up the others tall figure, as her eyes landed on the face of the person she hated most. but this time, she was beginning to feel it was not so much.

“what do you want, y/n.” sunghoons tired voice sighed, as he ran a hand through his dark hair frustratedly.

you could see it now. everything. the incident opened your eyes to finally somewhat understand your most hated enemy. y/n could see the stress on sunghoons face. the difference between the expression on his face when he was on the ice, compared to off the ice was very noticeable to you now. you didnt know how to feel.

“i just…” y/n began, letting out a soft sigh in defeat. this was a lot harder than you expected. “i just wanted to apologize for yesterday … some of the questions were a bit too …”

“annoying?” sunghoon finished for you, gazing down at the girl with a piercing yet unreadable gaze, causing her to gulp. “well thats one way to put it…” y/n commented.

it took sunghoon a while to reply, his eyes scanning your worried expression. in all honesty, sunghoon was quite shocked at the sudden apology. he didnt expect it from you, especially it being from someone who claimed she hated him with all her heart. sunghoon only let out a chuckle in response, shaking his head as he took a step forwards.

y/n’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at their now close proximity, taking a step back only to feel herself hit his locker. what the hell was going on.

sunghoon kept his burning gaze on the girl, taking his time to lean down until he was eye level. sunghoon placed his hand up against the cool metal locker next to your head, his signature fangy smirk making an appearance.

you felt like you were about to go weak at the knees. y/n had never been this close to park sunghoon, ever. she couldnt help but feel her cheeks burn as she couldnt look anywhere else but his face.

all she saw was park sunghoon.

“write a good paper y/n, hm?” the boy finally spoke, his deep raspy voice sending shivers down your spine.

y/n let out a shaky exhale, slowly nodding her head although still in a state of shock.

pleased with this reaction, sunghoon snickered as he stood up straight pushing himself off from the flustered girl. sunghoon gazed down at y/n’s expression, not being able to hold back a light chuckle as he took it open himself to gently yet tauntingly pat the girls head before walking away.

y/n stood there dumbfounded. why was her heart beating so fast?

“fuck you sunghoon!”

ೀ

the paper was all y/n could focus on from that point. memories of that moment replayed in her head 24/7. it was such a simple yet charming gesture. the kind that got her giggling and kicking her feet at night.

before the three days were up, wednesday had rolled around quickly. wednesday, the day of sunghoon’s competition.

it took y/n a while to decide whether or not she should show up, only to find herself sitting in that cold rink yet again. ‘its for the paper.’ the girl attempted to justify, just to make herself feel better.

“fancy seeing you here.” that irritating voice spoke from beside the girl.

although it was irritating in a different kind of way now. a way that made her feel rather more excited that annoyed.

y/n looked up at sunghoon, biting her lips as she immediately looked away to avoid the taller’s gaze. there was no way she could face him without a crazy blush rising over her cheeks.

“i came here for the paper.” y/n stated simply, clearing her throat to get a hold of herself.

sunghoon let out a melodic chuckle, causing y/n to muster up enough courage to meet sunghoons eyes. to her surprise, his gaze was readable, unlike most days. today, his eyes were full of determination. full of passion.

thats when you finally understood park sunghoon.

park sunghoon was not a narcissist, nor arrogant. park sunghoon was full of passion, and ambition.

“say… i have a deal for you.” sunghoon hummed, taking a seat next to the girl for a quick moment, causing y/n to snap out of her realization.

“a deal..?” the girl questioned, her head tilting to the side in curiousness as to what sunghoon has to propose.

“if i win this competition…” sunghoon started, only dragging the suspense causing a light groan to escape past your lips, before his next words took you by surprise.

“you have to go out on a date with me.”

y/n’s jaw dropped to the floor at sunghoons request, staring at the boy with wide eyes at a loss for words. you didnt know what to do, didn’t know what to say. did thee park sunghoon, thee ice prince just ask you out on a date?

“sunghoon! youre on in ten!!”

sunghoon smiled lightly at his coach with a soft nod, before standing up and turning his attention back to you. “i’ll win. watch me.” sunghoon spoke in a determined matter, before bolting away to get on the ice in time for his routine.

thats when you reacted. y/n shot up from her seat on the bench, watching sunghoon scurry away. “wait- sunghoon! hey!! park sunghoon!!”

sunghoon did in fact win that competition. you and sunghoon did in fact go on that date, and ever since then, you suddenly did not understand how you could have ever hate a person like him. he was your everything. your little ice fairy.

— nari ¨̮

#ˋ ୨୧ ˊTAGS !

[emp-t-man]

eiffel and minkowski are often perceived (either by the other characters of the podcast or its audience, but mostly by each other) as the lazy slacker who sucks at his job and the competent go-getter who’s the best at what she does, and yet neither of these things are true. i think one of my favorites of their parallels is they are both exceptionally good at what they do, and yet they both constantly suffer from doubts about their own abilities. they just have completely different ways of going about this insecurity, and that’s what creates this stigma about them.

eiffel has proven time and time again that he absolutely knows what he’s doing in his field. He’s extremely protective over his equipment, he knows exactly what to do when it doesn’t work ninety nine percent of the time, the man made two way radios from old audio recorders, for christ’s sake, not to mention the way he was able to figure out how to survive for months in the middle of deep space completely by himself. but one of his most fatal flaws is that he doesn’t believe he knows what he’s doing. his self hatred and insecurity run so deep that the moment he believes he’s not cut out for something, he stops trying entirely. he sees people like minkowski doing such a good job in their position, that when people like that tell him he’s incapable of doing the same, he believes it, because he never believed in himself, anyway. i think the most obvious example of this is after the season one finale, when he learns about the decima project. the minute he learns that being an officer of communications wasn’t his only purpose on that mission, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t serve that purpose at all. he resolves that he was simply an “experimental meatbag”, chosen for the mission because he had absolutely nothing else going for him. he’s so quick to dismiss his worth and his capabilities, and so he leans into this persona of a good for nothing procrastinator to avoid letting his peers down by never letting them form expectations of him in the first place. of course, he isn’t perfect, he is a bit of a procrastinator and a scatterbrain, but that’s far from all he is.

minkowski on the other hand, she’s constantly praised for all of her achievements and hard work, be it by goddard, by her students, her superiors, lovelace, and especially eiffel in the later seasons. she’s seen as strong, and resilient, and an excellent leader. but the thing is, she also constantly doubts her own ability. this can also be seen during the season one finale, where she apologizes to eiffel because she describes hera’s deactivation and hilbert’s mutiny as her own fault, because she wasn’t a good enough commander to prevent it. but the thing about her is when she starts to doubt her capability, she works overtime to try and prove herself and anyone else who may doubt her wrong, which is also unhealthy! it happens with the plant monster, when she continuously risks her own life just to prove to herself that she can have the slightest bit of control over a situation. it happens during pan-pan, where she attempts to keep the stress fractures in the station a secret and handle them on her own because she wants to be able to protect the lives and morale of her crew the way a “good commander” should! instead of giving up and saving herself the disappointment if ever she should fail, she does the complete opposite, working herself to the bone and obsessing over every detail to make sure she doesn’t fail, no matter what it takes.

now here’s the kicker— after the events of desperate times / desperate measures, eiffel and minkowski completely swap coping mechanisms. when lovelace comes to, minkowski almost immediately asks her to assume the position of commander in her place, because she thinks that the loss of lives means that she completely failed her objective and isn’t fit for the role. her stepping down is essentially giving up in her eyes, because why hold such an important position if you’re no good at it? meanwhile, in episode fifty two, after eiffel gets called out on his, while without malicious intent, inconsiderate and distasteful behavior, he completely withdraws from the rest of the crew in order to work extremely hard on his own tasks, ultimately risking his and the rest of the crew’s life in order to prove he can be useful. sounds familiar, right?

but the thing is, they’ve each already spent so much time reverting to their original way of coping, that attempting the other’s method is immediately clocked as simply being concerning and out of character, rather than establishing them as the opposite archetype of being capable or not. lovelace expects minkowski to always resort to overachieving, but not because its a way to disprove her insecurity, but because it’s just “who she is”. so when she does the opposite, that’s when she realizes something is wrong, and resorts to comforting minkowski instead of simply letting her do what she’s elected to do. hera expects eiffel to laugh off any mistake he makes and go back to goofing off— not because it’s his way of avoiding disappointment from those he cares about, but because it’s just “who he is”. so when he does the opposite, focusing solely and intently on his duties where he was so comfortable neglecting them before, she realizes something is wrong. and when he explains to the rest of the crew that his actions are only to “help the only way he still can”, they realize something is wrong, and choose to comfort him rather than simply rolling their eyes and letting eiffel be eiffel.

it is. so incredibly late at night so i don’t know if this makes the sense i want it to make but i just. cannot get enough of how much they compliment and reflect each other. they seem to have nothing in common on the surface, but they fit together so well in terms of how they operate as people and i’m obsessed with it

[andreawritesit]

The Red Storm

This is my first time writing anything related to One Piece and I'm extremely nervous. I haven't written anything in 2 years so please bear with my abysmal grammar.

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Fandom: One Piece

Pair: Shanks x Reader

- I wanted it to be a one shot but I'll have to write it in two parts (or more, who knows) -

Part 2 : here

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*CRASH!*

This was not how you wanted your morning to start; with a crash so loud, it must’ve been heard across all the seas. Must be those gremlins! you immediately think. Ever since you had agreed to look after those three, your life had become a whole mess. You take a deep breath and get out of bed to take a shower. You have only just put one foot down when you hear Dadan’s scream followed by loud laughter. Of course, they’re at it again. You sigh and hurry up to the bathroom before you are summoned on your devil babysitting duties. Taking your clothes off, you step under the shower, letting the warm water relieve you of your stress for a moment. However, the relief dies down almost immediately as you find your mind going back to the memories you so desperately try to suppress and yet they keep haunting you every day.

-2 years ago, Windmill Village –

“What do you mean you’re leaving without me? You promised me that I could come along the next time!” Your voice echoed in the empty bar. You didn’t care, you were livid. The man put his straw hat on the table and closed his eyes. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I promised but where we’re going is not safe at all. You are not ready to go to the Grand Line. It’s very dangerous and I do not want to risk your life-“ Before he could say anything else, you throw a glass at him which he dodges annoyingly easily. He looks at the shattered glass and then at you. “Calm down, please. Let me explain-“

“SHUT UP! I don’t want to hear any excuses! You promised me, Shanks! Leaving without me means this is over, right? You and me?” He looks at you solemnly and tugs you toward himself. You try to push away from him but as soon as you hit his chest, your arms automatically circle around his neck as you try to stop your tears from falling. He holds you close, without saying anything. Hearing his light breaths, you realize this might be the last time you ever see him. You hug him tighter which he reciprocates. 

“Shanks please don’t leave me…”

He doesn’t reply. Not a word. He just kisses the top of your head. After what feels like an eternity, he releases you and you gasp at the sight of his face. There stood Red-haired Shanks, tears coating his slightly flushed cheeks. You put your hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away, while your own tears release from their prison and onto your cheeks. 

“Please forgive me. The path I am going on is very dangerous. I could never drag you into this mess. Maybe you’ll never forgive me. Maybe you’ll never understand. But I’d rather have your hatred than bear your loss.”

You move your hand from his cheek to his hair and touch your forehead to his. You want to be mad at him. You want to hurt him as he was hurting you. But he was right. You had never left the village. You had no idea of the world outside, especially the Grand Line. Even if he does agree to take you along, you’d end up becoming a burden. 

You try to say you understand but your throat feels heavy so you simply nod. Fresh tears paint his face as he cries silently, already mourning the relationship you both had. Ever since he started frequenting the small village, you both stayed close to each other, the closeness only increasing with every meeting. You would wait for him at the docks with Luffy, looking forward to being in his arms again. And now he would never come running down the docks and pick you up into his arms, smothering you in kisses. 

“Hey,” he says softly, “I want you to do something for me.” You chuckle sadly. What could he possibly need from you now…

“I want you to look after Luffy. He’s going to be very sad after we leave. Knowing that you’ll stay with him will give me peace of mind. Please?” 

“Of course, I’ll take care of him.” 

Shanks nods and hugs you again, this time settling you down in his lap. This time he cries loudly and you don’t silence your sobs either. 

The next morning, you wake up to see flowers near your bed with a goodbye note. That was the last time the red-haired storm rustled your life.  

---- present time -----

You don’t realize how long it has been until you hear Dadan knocking at your bathroom door.

“If you don’t come out in a minute, I will break this door apart!” Dadan’s angry voice drags you back to reality and you quickly dry yourself and put some clothes on. As you emerge from the bathroom, Dadan is onto you, grabbing the collar of your new shirt. “Those three gremlins are getting on my nerves! I’ve been calling them for an hour now but they aren’t listening! Gather them or I’ll throw all four of you out of here!”

You sigh and pry your shirt out of her grasp. She takes a step back and raises an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Well, what?” your voice comes out more rude than you wanted it to be. “I mean, where did they go?” you add on quickly.

“The forest, where else! Hurry up and bring their asses back!”

You nod and head out to the forest. You had promised Shanks to look after Luffy but you had no idea what awaited you. After Garp decided to send Luffy to the mountain bandits, you requested to tag along, which he agreed to. You knew it would be dangerous but what you didn’t know was that you were getting a package deal. At first, it seemed that you would go mad over Luffy and Ace but then another one popped up randomly. Now the three of them had become friends and made it their mission to make Dadan’s life a living hell. You were caught in the crossfire. The boys were very fond of you so they often got behind you to escape Dadan’s wrath and Dadan held you responsible for every slight inconvenience caused by them. It was too much sometimes but it was a reprieve. You couldn’t imagine how you would’ve dealt with Shanks’ departure without the three devils. Speaking of whom, you spot them sitting in their tree house. You smile involuntarily and call them out.

“Luffy! Ace! Sabo! Come down. Time to go home or else Dadan won’t give you any food!”

Luffy is the first to come down, of course, he is. He is followed by Sabo and then finally Ace, who is staring daggers at Luffy. You glance at them, feeling the tension rising with every passing second. Luffy, oblivious to his impending ass-whooping, chuckles loudly and tugs at your shirt.

“Let’s go home quickly! Or else I’ll have to sleep hungry!”

You pat his head softly and he gives you the warmest grin in return. Suddenly you’re reminded of Shanks who used to give you the same warm smile whenever you greeted him at the bar. Stupid Shanks! 

Ace lets out a fake cough and suddenly pulls Luffy’s right ear which stretches unnaturally. Luffy screeches like a crow and sends Sabo into a frenzy of laughter. “Ouch!! Ace, what is this for?”

“What is this for? Really? You idiot! When I said don’t go down, why did you jump?”

“Because she said Dadan won’t give us food!”

“Shut up! You broke the brother code! I’m the oldest, you both listen to me!”

Sabo’s face scrunches up at that. “You know, I still think I’m older than you…”

Ace sends the blonde boy a death glare which shuts him up.

Their innocent altercation fills your heart with warmth. You walk up to them and put your hand on Ace’s shoulder. He looks up at you and his cheeks instantly turn pink. The two boys giggle at that and his scowl returns immediately. 

“Ace, come on now. Be easy on your little brother. All he did was obey me.” you say in hopes of pacifying the angry little boy. He sighs and nods. “Well, I’ll let it go because if we don’t return soon, Dadan will be angry at you. But if they do this again, I’ll kick their asses.” You laugh softly and nod in agreement. “Let’s go then.” 

You start walking back to the house with the three gremlins following you, unaware of the red-haired storm that is making its way back into your life. 

[hotchocolatefanfics]

I’m just gonna rant about Red for a moment here because I feel like it.

I don’t know anything about mental health disorders but I have noticed a lot of Red’s personality traits that we see in Revelations (especially) and (a little bit) in War are similar to Antisocial Personality Disorder (manipulative, aggression, hostility) and some of the things he has done in Revelations (such as going after Cornelia and threatening the midwives with a gun) could be described as ‘lack of restraint, impulsive, risk taking’ which are also signs of ASPD.

This does NOT necessarily mean Red has Anti Social Personality Disorder, I’m just saying there are similarities with his behavior and personality with the disorder.

Whether he has a disorder or not though, Red’s hatred of Caesar and his rule seems to run deep. It bothers me that we do not know anything about Red’s life prior or during the events of Dawn, especially because him wanting to overthrow Caesar in Revelations and later joining the AO army as a donkey doesn’t seem like just anger over Koba’s death (why the heck did he follow him in the first place?).

I think it’s reasonable to say that Red is likely a teenager in Revelations (maybe he, like Blue Eyes, Ash and Lake, was born sometime after Rise-like first generation of apes born after their liberation) so some of his thinking might be attributed to that but mainly it might mean his childhood was rough (Caesar’s Story also hinted at mortality rates in the early years of their freedom weren’t great: deaths in childbirth, illness, cold weather, etc).

It just seems to me that Red‘a hate for Caesar and (possibly) the other apes is much more personal than Koba’s death. My headcanon for Red is basically:

- Something or a series of events happened in Red’s childhood that made him feel rejected by the colony (not necessarily by fault of Caesar and others! Like maybe he lost someone close to him to a human (which could explain his preference to Koba’s rule over Caesar’s), or Red was in a situation where he needed help but no one knew or how to help him (such as if he was abused by a parent or orphaned at a young age) and he felt abandoned by them).

- If humans did have something to do with Red’s life before War, it likely would have involved his parents. Maybe his parents were abused by humans and thus taught Red to hate and fear them, or maybe one or both parents were actually killed by humans sometime between Rise and Dawn.

Another thing I notice is Red never interacts with Blue Eyes or Lake in either Revelations or in War but he does with Winter and Grey (in Revelations).

This may not mean anything but it makes me wonder what Red’s social life was like before he turned on the apes. I think it’s safe to say he and Winter had an ok relationship before that but did he have any friends his own age? He kind of seems like a loner to me.

What is also odd to me is, despite being a gorilla, Red prefers manipulation and underhanded tactics (in Revelations) as opposed to physical violence (of course he is capable of it).

This is where his age comes into play here, his ‘beating around the bush’ in the beginning of Revelations could have been Red trying to overthrow Caesar without actual confrontation and hoping the humans did that for him But it still doesn’t explain his willingness to manipulate Grey and Winter into trying to kill Cornelia, make Grey the leader, and take the colony somewhere else.

But then here’s the funny thing about Red, despite all that he is also shown to be redeemable when he saved Caesar at the end of War (which also resulted in his own death).

The look on his face as he watched the apes get shot at too!

It makes me wonder if when Red manipulated Winter into telling him where Caesar was in the beginning, if he was also attempting to save his life (given that Red and the other turncoat apes joined the AO soldiers to survive). This can’t really be confirmed though since we didn’t actually this conversation.

TLDR: Red is an under-rated and complex gorilla and I love him so much for it!

Feel free to share your own thoughts! 🦍

[axailslink]

Bunny

Toxic! Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Synopsis: After seeing you all buddy buddy with another ex Riri is fuming and takes it upon herself to pay you a visit.

Warning: out of character Riri Williams this is a toxic fic it wasn’t supposed to be but I let my hands guide me and turns out I like drama. Also there are some words that some might not be too fund of when it comes to the spicier scene.

Riri tries her best to control her breathing or calm her heart as it sets on fire from the inside of her chest it's like she can quite literally feel it being pulled out of place and squashed like a bug beneath a church shoe. It suffocates her and you would think that this would make her sad bring tears to her eyes, but it only warms her body as she almost gets the urge to go at you right then and there with every inch of hatred that swells in her bones seeing you with her it's like a candle that tipped and caught a curtain on fire and the more she stands here watching you smile, giggle and fucking he-he and ha-ha the more she wants to wring the neck of the newly reconnected "friendship" of someone who was supposed to be buried way in your pa- "Riri you good?" Riri glances at the person in front of her than her attention is back on you "30 dollars interest for being late on this payment. I sent you the work on time you send me the money on time or I continue to add interest.”

~

Riri has never been so worked up in her life what the hell could you be doing talking to someone who supposedly hurt you so much in the past? Her mind is so stumped she hasn't been able to focus on any of her studies and it's not as if she needs to, but it would calm her mind and soul if she could shit... and if she could do that it would stop her from making the commute to your apartment that's only fifteen minutes away from campus but due to her rage and focus seems to be more like eight. She does not hesitate to bang on your door as if she owns the damn place and you're quick to open your door because you do in fact pay the damn bills. You only blink when you open the door it may be your initial shock or the fact that you were in a very deep sleep and it's barely five in the morning... yeah it's definitely the latter. For a moment Riri wants to smile seeing you all cute in your worn-out tank top titty half out, bonnet slightly lopsided on your head and your lash stuck to your eyebrow but then she remembers seeing you all hugged up with miss whatever the fuck her name is and she's hot all over again. "No whatever it is come back tomorrow or a week from now I know you know it’s five in the morning I got class in a few hours I haven’t even gotten up to ru-“

“Is she better?” “Excuse me?” You’re rubbing your eyes now and fixing your clothes “who?” “The bi- ole girl I see you running around and laughing with recently” you’re racking your brain for a moment but then you realize Riri ain’t got no say who you hang with who you fuck who you kiss or who you’re bent over backwards for, so you suck in a sharp breath and force your next words through your teeth.

"I'm not yours" your words are hushed but there is no lack of confidence while speaking so she hears you just fine "oh" it's as if Riri has just been put back in her place easily too there's no yelling, cursing or fighting just simple to the heart words. Somehow your voice seems to be more confident than your true feelings because you can't help but question your own words "am I?" Riri bites her tongue as she looks at you now somehow without either of your knowledge you both seem to be getting closer in the moment and of course this is a dangerous game. You both broke up for a reason so why do you still have these feelings? Why do you still pine for each other? Why in heaven and hell do you want to kiss her right now?

Why are you allowing her to kiss down your neck? She approached you with all sorts of hostility but somehow, you're not saying anything about the current situation you find yourself in. No, you're tilting your head back and panting as if she's had you running on a leash without any sort of water Riri closes the door and she's somehow pushed you up against it in a gentle manner which is confusing because the tone she took with you only minutes ago was anything but gentle anything but soft and caring. It is insane how it differs from her actions. It truly is insane that she's leaving soft kisses down your chest now and you're allowing her to rid you of your clothes; first the pajama pants that were already oversized and barely hanging on your hips are gone then the tank top which seems to be proving a bit more difficult getting caught in your hair and snatching your lash off your face but eventually it's gone too.

Finally, there's no obstacle between you both no thick layer of clothing keeping either of you at bay she can touch you the way she wants.

Now that you're exposed to the cold air of your apartment her kisses have you feeling feverish every lick, nip and bite leaves behind a warmth cozy feeling which shoots down to your feet and back to your chest. Riri already has her confirmation but now she has a point to prove she has to prove that no one not a damned soul can make you laugh, giggle, or feel ascomfortable as she does.

Jealousy truly can be a beautiful thing sometime.

Riri works her way down your body she makes it her unspoken mission to kiss every inch of you she wants to touch your soul with her hands and lips. You're in such a frenzy you haven't noticed just how long she's been doing this she's gone from your neck traveled down your chest gave your nipples a gentle suck tongued her way down your abdomen kissed in-between your thighs and hugged them as she allowed the tip of her nose to gently tap what she won't rush to get to. Then she’s down your legs all around giving them the attention they deserve. The woman goes to your feet she is persistent on showing all of your body that you belong to her only her and no one else and she is doing a damn good job. Something so simple so soft so comforting should have no effect whatsoever on the rest of your body, right? Right? Wrong you can't help but spread your legs just the smallest bit as Riri runs her hands up them she's not willing to apologize for being an ass for coming to your home unannounced for playing with your feelings but she's willing to beg for you on her face. "Baby" Her saying that damn word has you wanting to do anything to shut her up, so you incase her between your legs and she's humming in contentment before she even begins to taste you.

You're holding onto the door handle for either your stability or your sanity as Riri glides her tongue across your slit teasing you but you're too impatient for her to be playing these types of games. "Ri" you breath out a warning makes her want to laugh how only a day ago you two were not on talking terms but now she's quite literally on her knees in front of you gripping your thigh like her life depends on it as she tongue fucks you trying to rip any sort of sound from your lips. Your moans and gasps just aren't enough. She stands in front of you again kissing you so passionately, needily. So hungrily and it stays that way as you wrap your leg around her, she's slow taking the silent offer upon chance as she trails her hand up your thigh and around the curve of your ass cupping it tightly bringing you close as if you weren't already a simple step away. She slips two fingers inside of you and you let a soft mewl escape your slightly parted lips humming in satisfaction she begins to gently caress your walls with just those two fingers

You want to cry as you hear a phone ring because please don’t let this stop not right now not yet. Riri pulls her hand away unbothered by its wetness as she answers the phone you whine in dissatisfaction but she gives your wet cunt a gentle tap ushering you to shush and be patient. As she takes the call her free hand continues caressing your thigh “baby it’s five in the morning what’s wrong?” Even though her hands are on you right now you can’t help but feel a sting in your chest as she speaks to “this” unknown caller “okay how about I bring you some breakfast and we watch movies til our first class? That sound good?” You want to be sad upset even but her hands sliding from around your thigh to your oh so sensitive clit proves to be a great distraction you can’t help but gasp out a moan. “Okay see you in thirty” she drops her phone on the floor and she’s quick to get up and press a harsh kiss against your lips before you can begin to ask questions or doubt what’s happening. “I gotta go” you look her dead in her eyes and laugh “you gotta go?” She doesn’t let you pull away even though she can see it in your eyes before you try “yes bunny I gotta go I’ll be back tonight what time you want me here?”

“I don’t want you here… shit ion think so..?” Riri sighs “eight? Seven? What you want to eat tacos? You know that food truck-“ you let her talk as you just sit and dwell for a moment on your couch “bunny? She’s baby and I’m bunny?” Riri watches you confusedly before saying “you said you’re not mine I’m simply abiding your wishes that’s what you want right? To not be mine… BUNNY it is.”

A/n: I know I’m trifling but I had fun with this it’s so out of character though but the fun was worth it and I probably won’t make a part 2.

[9firefly9]

anger issues//Jlaire

Troll!Jim gets angry and growls at Claire. He doesn’t mean to and it scares her. After they have a talk about it.

“I’m coming with you.” Claire says, already moving to grab her shadow staff.

“No, it’s okay. Stay here. It’ll just be quick.” Jim says waving a hand dismissively at her.

“No, I want to help.” She says firmly, walking towards the door where Jim was heading.

“It’s fine. Stay here.” He says through gritted teeth.

He watches as Claire walks out the door, ignoring what he’s saying.

He takes deep breathes to try and calm his sudden agitation. This is one thing he hates about being part troll. It makes him quicker to anger. In situations he used to be able to shrug his shoulders at and move on, he finds himself barely able to keep his anger down now.

Jim lets out a groan and follows Claire out the door.

This is supposed to be a simple quick task: get rid of some goblins on the streets and few blocks over.

Claire had been comfortably lounging on the couch as they watched a movie. She didn’t need to come with him. She could have kept watching the movie. Jim appreciates the help but he doesn’t always need assistance. He can do things by himself! He doesn’t need to be babied!

Suddenly Claire’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Jim! Over there!” Claire points to the left and Jim can see about seven goblins trying to break into some poor person’s van.

“Okay, I’ll get the ones at the front of the-“ Jim says and turns to Claire, only to find that she’s already running off to fight the goblins.

Jim lets out a loud frustrated groan before taking out his sword and running after her.

The goblins eyes widen as he comes up behind them and begins slashing at them with his sword.

Claire’s on the other side of the van using her shadow staff and jabbing it at them.

After a few minutes they both stop fighting and are covered in goblin guts. Jim looks in the windows of the van to make sure no goblins got inside.

Something touches his shoulder.

Jim whips around and swings his sword at whatever tried to touch him, letting out a loud growl from the back of his throat.

His anger rises at the thought of having to fight more. He had already had to fight all night last night and barely got any sleep. This task was supposed to be over by now.

It takes Jim a moment to calm down and realize it was Claire that touched his shoulder.

She’s standing beside him with her hands up in the air, trying to show she means no harm.

When Jim looks at her eyes he feels his heart break.

Claire is looking at him with eyes filled with fear. Her hands are trembling slightly in the air and she looks like she wants nothing more than to run away.

Jim moves his sword down so it’s no longer in her face.

Claire still doesn’t move.

Why is she still scared?

Then it hits Jim. He growled at her. He had gotten so angry that for a minute his new found anger had taken over. He growled at her just like a troll. For a moment he had forgotten he was now a monster, and looks like she had too.

His anger flares for a minute as his thoughts flood with self-hatred.

He growls again at his thoughts, and Claire must think he’s growling at her because suddenly she backs away.

“Wait! No- Claire!” He says copying her and holding his hands up. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to growl at you. I thought it you were a goblin.” He quickly explains.

Claire looks him up and down, probably to see if he’s actually calmed down now, and slowly brings her hands down to her sides.

“Oh, Jim.” She says, coming closer and hugging him. “You scared me. For a minute you didn’t seem to recognize me at all. And when you growled, I thought you were about to attack me.”

She pulls back from the hug to look at Jim’s face.

“For a moment I didn’t recognize you:” she whispers, looking away.

“Claire, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jim says pulling her into the hug again. “I don’t know why, but after I turned into a troll my emotions have been all over the place. It’s been getting harder and harder to control my anger.”

Claire looks up at him with caring, worried eyes, as she hears the slight panic in his voice.

“It will be okay.” She says calmly. “We’ll figure this out. We’ll find a way to keep you calmer. Maybe Blinky will be able to help. Have you talked to him about this?”

Jim looks away nervously, “No, I haven’t told him yet. I was kind of hoping if I ignored it, the problem would go away on its own.” Jim sighs heavily, obvious bitterness in his next words. “Instead it’s getting worse.”

Claire feels Jim’s hands clench into fists against her back and she rubs circles on his back to calm him down.

“You should talk to Blinky about this soon. He probably has some way of helping you control your anger, and don’t forget, you can always talk to me or Toby, alright?” Claire says, looking Jim in the eye so he can see she’s being honest. “You can share what’s making you angry and we can listen and try to help the best we can.”

Jim gives her a small smile. “Thank you for being so amazing.” He holds her tighter, careful not to hold her too tight and hurt her.

After a quiet moment Jim says one more thing with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you for being you.”

[lacesgirl]

You didn't burn those flowers, did you|t.nott part 2

part 1

summary: Sometimes it's better for us if our prayers are not listening by anyone.

parings: Theodore Nott x fem!reader

warnings: bad grammar, lack of self -respect

word counts: 2131

author's note: It's part 2 and I hope y'all going to enjoy this. Also I started working on something bigger than one shots so I hope that you're going to like this.

Love is like poison, once you will be loved by a person, you’re going to end up in pain. The only thing that love is doing it’s just crushing your soul and you will never be the same.

“You didn't burn those flowers, did you?” Mattheo asked.

This night was so peaceful with a bright sky and music blasting somewhere behind us. I couldn’t see Theo tonight. He was way too drunk and his eyes once blue now was just dark and full of hatred. 

“I couldn’t. I’m still hoping that he’s going to change. He’s going to talk to me.” I responded and passed him a pack of cigarettes. 

Mattheo sighed and took one cigarette from the pack. Then he lit my cigarette. I really appreciated the fact that he was worrying about me. I decided to give him a chance because deep down I know that he liked me. We both know that I still loved Theo. 

Ever since we barely see Nott. And when we were seeing him, he was drunk or high. I lose all hope that he’s going to talk not only to me but also the rest of our group.

“So now you and Mattheo are a thing.” Pansy theoretical asked.

“Yeah… but he knows that I still have feelings for Theo and I didn’t burn those fucking flowers. I don’t think that I will ever be ready to do this” I responded.

Pansy looked at me and started to look for her favorite black skirt. I was really hoping that she’s going to say something but she didn’t do it. When I was finishing my makeup, she came closer. She sat down and at this moment I started to regret my wish. She was doing that when she wanted to tell me about something which wasn’t really good news to me.

“If you want to drop Mattheo and run back to your ex, just keep it in mind that Cedric is single,” she said.

“Pansy what the fuck are you talking about?” I screamed at her.

“When I was looking for a Nott because I wanted to ask him about a book I borrowed to him I heard something” she responded.

“Girl, don't try my patience” I said.

“Cedric was talking about getting back to you because you two did a project together. He didn’t tell what you two were doing but he was getting at you cheating Theo with him.” Pansy stated.

“You're kidding right?” I asked.

“If you want to take this as a joke then yes.” she ironically responded. 

“Fuck me.” I commented.

“What do you want to do with this?” she asked.

“Well I want to show him that me and him hooking up was just a simple mistake.” I responded.

Pansy nodded her head and started talking about her idea of revenge. I was just simply in shock because me and Cedric agreed that our relationship has to end. When Pansy was ready we went to a party and I decided to play a game with Cedric.

I was sitting at the counter. Mattheo was touching my thigh. And I saw Cedric sitting on the couch with Aurelie. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

“Go and talk to Aurelie, I know that you like her now.” I told to Mattheo.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yes, we both know that we like to flirt with each other but you can’t kiss me because you’re going to betray Theo and I can’t kiss you because I love him. Holding hands and cuddling it’s nothing. So go and talk to her.” I responded and playfully hit his head.

I couldn’t wait long for him and Aurelie disappearing outside. I jumped off the counter and went to Cedric. I sat at his lap. The best part was that he wasn’t surprised, it was almost like he wanted me to do it. 

“Tell me, this is what we did, when we were doing a project” I asked. 

I knew that his friends were looking at us and were interested in this situation. So I kissed him on the cheek. I knew what I was doing but I didn’t know that Theo was here and he was looking. But when he saw this he just left. I mean that’s what Lorenzo told me after.

“Or maybe we were doing this” I stated. 

His face turned red because I didn’t knew what he told his friends and his friends were smiling, some of them were laughing.

“That’s what I thought. Next time, when you decide to make out with me while doing a project, just tell me what we did because I still don’t know. And I think I’m supposed to know.” I said.

Then I headed to the yard. I needed to smoke. It didn’t last long when the yard was full of people who wanted to know what just happened. I was making myself a drink when Cedrics’ friends were telling everyone what happened. I was really glad that some of our friends had a house where we could drink on the weekends. Once the party was over, a new week has come.

Something changed after that party. Me and Mattheo were still flirting because Aurelie and any other girl didn’t last long as befits Mattheo. Lorenzo was still a loser when it comes to drinking and poor Blaise had to take care of him. Pansy and Draco would still make out with us in one room. It was all the same but the change was in Theo. He was still intoxicated when we were seeing him but we could see him frequently. I mean I was seeing him more often than the rest of us. But he still refused to talk to us.

One time Pansy and I were talking about a borrowed book and even though Nott didn’t talk to us, he gave it back. He didn’t come to us and gave it back but the next day a book was laying in front of our bedroom. He was attending Quidditch again. He was signing me to be his partner at every work even though he was doing this all by himself. This is how three weeks passed. When we were all sitting in the common room when Elijah came with a big smile on his face.

“My dear friends, I will be throwing a party on Friday, so feel free to come and get drunk” he screamed, “And my dear Y/N, Cedric is also invited so yall can make a clusterfuck again” he added. 

I sarcastically smiled in response. 

“Oh come on girl, after your whatever that was everyone was concentrating on you and made a pretty big mess in my yard.” Elijah said.

“Thanks for reminding me. I would kill myself without this quick reminder.” I responded. 

Elijah looked at me and smiled. 

“Do you think that Theo is going to be there?” Blaise asked.

“I guess so.” I responded.

Before the party I decided to go to Muggle world for a pack of cigarettes. It was way much better than ours. It took me too long so I arrived a bit late. I always wonder how Elijahs’ parents never realized what was happening in their house. When I was inside I realized that I might have arrived too late because Lorenzo was already drunk. It’s not like he needed much alcohol, I just knew that at first they don’t drink too much. They are always waiting for some kind of drama and then the party begins. I was looking for Theo but I couldn’t find him, so I just sat down with my friends.

“Do you have it?” Pansy asked so I showed her a pack of cigarettes.

“Here’s your drink” Mattheo said while passing me a coup.

The smell was so strong and I knew that today I’m not walking by myself but someone is going to carry me from this house. 

Many drinks after, Theo came. He was already drunk so TROUBLE was screaming loudly. All of us were waiting for him to do something but he went to make himself a drink. 

Then to our surprise he sat with us. 

He sat next to me. 

The silence was so loud even though the party was yobby. He didn’t even look at us. He was just sitting. I was chugging my drink and thanks to the drunk Lorenzo, the silence was over. He started saying stupid things and Pansy started to respond to him. After a while they all were again loud but I felt really uncomfortable. When I was about to stand and go to make another drink, he grabbed my cup to make me a drink. 

“You should just chill Y/N and be natural.” Draco stated.

“Easier said than done…” I said but I was interrupted by a glass bump.

Theo decided to bring alcohol to our table. I looked over and saw Cedric. He was looking at me and if Lorenzo was telling the truth and Theo saw what I did last time, I wasn’t surprised that he brought alcohol here. 

After a drink Pansy and Draco just disappeared, Lorenzo went to some bedroom to sleep. So on the couch was me, Theo, Blaise and Mattheo. I chugged four more drinks and I knew that I had to stop. I was way too drunk so I decided to go outside to smoke but I took a drink with me. I also couldn’t stand Theo, I was happy that he’s with us but the way he acted, more like he didn't act unbearable.

I went to the end of the yard and the wind was whipping me gently. It was still night. Music was softly blasting and there was no one outside so I could be alone for a minute. But to be honest I don’t know how long I was sitting there. I knew that drink and half of cigarettes were gone.

When I got inside the mess was insane. A lot of broken glasses and blood. Fucking blood. I could feel like my heart stopped for a second. I sober up in a second. I started to look around but I couldn’t find him. But I saw Cedric all in blood. And I knew what happened. I started to look for Mattheo or Blaise. I found Blaise by the exit when he was looking for Theo.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Y/N” Blaise said while hugging me, “you didn’t come back for a solid hour and we didn’t see you in the yard so Mattheo went to look for you.” he added.

“I was just sitting at the very last corner of it,” I said.

“Yes, that’s the problem. It’s dark and we always know where you smoke.” he responded to me.

“I know, I just needed to be alone for a second and I’m sorry for worrying you.” I said, “but what happened to Cedric?” I asked.

“You weren’t coming back and Cedric started to make up the stories of you two doing a project. So Theo went to him and started to fight. Then he grabbed alcohol and just left.” Blaise responded.

“How long ago did he leave?” I asked.

“10 minutes maybe.” Blaise responded.

“I’m going to look for him. I might know where he is.” I stated.

I knew that Blaise didn’t want me to go alone and drunk at night but it was the only way to find Theodore.

The night was still peaceful but my heart wasn’t. The only place he could go was the heathland. We were always going for some privacy there because only we knew where it was. As I was closer and closer I could hear him breaking a bottle. 

“Theodore, can we talk!” I screamed when I was close enough. 

He decided to ignore me and just walk by.

“Theo, can you just fucking stop!” I screamed again. 

He ignored me again so I decided to walk faster to him. When I was by his side, I grabbed his wrist. He pushed me but I did it again. This time he stopped walking but he didn’t look at me. 

“Teddy, let’s just talk.” I calmly said. 

He grabbed me by my cheeks and kissed me. It was a long and passionate kiss but something was off. 

“I don’t want to talk. I just want you to love me but you had to choose fucking Cedric. At first I didn’t believe the rumors but then I saw how you smiled at each other. Every time you two were together, you were laughing a lot and I knew that he makes you feel good. And then the fact that they knew was even worse. Because that day I lost not only a girl I love more than anything but also my friends. And then I saw you and Cedric at that party and I realized that I need to let you go even though I still love you.” Theo said.

He was still holding my face so I grabbed his arm so he couldn’t just go away.

“It’s not like that,” I said and then I explained everything to him. I knew that he wanted to listen to me because he let me talk.

“I’m sorry, I really mean this. I love you and I don’t want to lose you ever again.” he whispered to my ear while hugging me. 

“Let’s clean you up.’’ I said and gave him a peck on the lips.

I wanted to start over, he wanted to start over and it was all that mattered to me.

“You didn't burn those flowers, did you?” Theo asked but it sounded more like he wanted to convince himself.

“I prayed that these flowers would burn on their own, because I couldn’t do it.” I responded and hugged him even tighter.

if you have any request just let me know!

[caeli0306]

Chapter 4 of Violet Sorrengail's Guide to Spinning a Scandal is now up on AO3!

Chapter 4: Offer No Apologies is now posted on AO3: READ HERE

LMAO remember when I said yesterday that I deleted 2k of the fic? Well, lol, I deleted a whole lot more than that after. I completely changed how I thought this was going to go. So for those of you that want this fic to be longer, rejoice! We're going to have a chapter 5. In other news, please read the chapter notes for trigger warnings. We're getting EXTREMELY angsty in this one folks. For those unfamiliar, this is my @rq-gift-exchange fic for the wonderful @witch-and-her-witcher.

Summary:

Violet Sorrengail is a highly effectively political crisis consultant. Xaden Riorson is poised to win his late father's old senate seat. The hatred between the two runs deep, but its been years since their fiery classroom debates in college, and Violet was certain she'd never cross paths with him again, until her expertise is required to keep doctored stories that could sink Xaden's campaign from gaining traction just before the general election.

The chemistry is off-the-charts, the tension has every other staffer fleeing when the two end up in the same room, and the fire that existed between them is as hot as ever. But as time goes on, Violet begins to realize exactly how true the saying, "There's a thin line between love and hate," really is.

===

Xaden freezes as soon as he notices me, and I have to fight not to roll my eyes. With how surprised he acts every time he runs into me, you’d think I wasn’t the person he hired to run his entire fucking senatorial office.

“Sorrengail,” he greets, tone stilted.

“Mr. Riorson.” I nod, and I feel a bit bad when he winces ever so slightly.

We stand there awkwardly, just staring at each other, until one of the workers taps me on the shoulder, requiring direction for where to put the contents of a box. One last glance at Xaden, and I see a stormy expression that wasn’t there before.

I ignore him and get back to work.

Rhiannon meanders in 30 minutes later, her arms laden with boxes filled with files. I relieve her of one, direct her to put them in my newly assigned office. We dump them in a corner, and she wipes the back of her hand across her forehead.

“I saw Xaden stomping out of here a few minutes ago,” she hedges slowly, looking at me for my reaction. I turn away. “What the hell is going on with you two?”

I still haven’t told her the full extent of what happened that night, or the morning after. I didn’t tell her about the quiet intimacy, the hand-holding, the kisses on my head. I didn’t tell her about the moment I was no longer in denial, or how I pretty much tore my own heart out and stomped on it a few minutes later. I didn’t tell her about how I did it for Xaden’s sake, and how I’ve managed to make both of us miserable as a result.

[schpela]

Fortnight-Taylor Swift ft. Post Malone

(Harvey Specter x reader)

Summary: After a fortnight spent together they break it off deciding that it’s better to continue their friendship rather than a romantic relationship even though neither of them really want that.

Warnings: Mention of alcohol, cheating

———————————————

I was supposed to be sent away

But they forgot to come and get me

She couldn’t handle it anymore. Seeing him day after day walking the halls with a smile on his face, a smile that wasn’t there because of her. She wasn’t the reason for the good mood she wasn’t the reason for the smiling because as far as she knew she never had that impact on him.

I was a functioning alcoholic

‘Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic

Every day started with a cup of coffee and every ended with a bottle of vodka. She knew that she had to get away, back to Europe back to her hometown. She knew that if she stayed it would kill her. The alcohol was already catching up to her she couldn’t focus, her work was sloppy and the time for her to get her act together was running out.

All of this to say I hope you’re okay

But you’re the reason

She wished him all the best the last time they spoke but while she meant it, somewhere deep inside of her she hoped that he was hurting just as much as she was because he was the reason for her spark disappearing and she didn’t see herself getting it back anytime soon.

And no one here’s to blame

But what about your quiet treason?

He wasn’t the one she should blame and she didn’t, but at the same time he was the reason for her pain, she wasn’t the reason for his but he was for hers. The whole firm was watching the drama unfold the gossip was spreading quicker then wildfire and both parties were oblivious to that. But she was determined to appear as though she was more than fine because no one is going to get the pleasure of seeing her fall apart.

And for a fortnight there, we were forever

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather.

For a fortnight she didn’t have to think about anything else but them. Hidden away under the sheets of his bed where promises of forever where made. Promises that now she realized where nothing more then cruel lies. Now she runs into him in the hallway he makes a comment about the leaves turning brown and the mornings getting foggy and all she does is smiles because he remembers that fall is her favorite season. But that’s all they do, there is no more stolen glances and kisses in the file room because there is no more them now is just two individuals with a thousand memories.

Now you’re in my backyard, turned into good neighbors

Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her.

She occasionally runs into him in her office when he needs help with a case. They both act as though there isn’t history between them as though their eyes don’t speak a thousand words but both of them know that their story isn’t finished just jet. She notices the blonde woman that comes by his office every day she brings him lunch, his smile gets bigger every time she drops by. Sometimes she brings pastries to other partners and it makes the hatred even bigger. She so cheerful so kind so happy she’s perfect for him.

All my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february

I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary

Time didn’t pass quicker if anything it slowed down. It didn’t matter if she buried herself in a case or if she did the things she loved the most she felt like she was stuck. A guy, tall, fit, green eyes, brunette the CEO of a big company what more could a woman want in a man? And for a week she forgot everything about him because this new guy he was perfect took her out to dinners bought her gift brought her flowers but after a month she didn’t want anything to do with him. But even though she didn’t like him anymore she stayed with him every day hoping that he could fill in the hole that she felt in her heart.

And I love you, it’s ruining my life

I love you, it’s ruining my life

She needed him the same way she needed air, she couldn’t live without him. The relationship that didn’t last more than a fortnight ruined her life but what she didn’t know was that he was hurting just as much if not more. His apartment was full of memories and even though it’s been over a month he could still smell her on his sheets it was haunting him. He still occasionally found a thing or two of hers like a hair tie or a necklace she was everywhere it was ruining his life.

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, but I touched you

Her lips on his, his hand on her cheek hers in his hair, their bodies intertwined. Every time he touched her he did it like it’s gonna be the last and she touched him with the same amount of passion because for a fortnight it was just them hidden away from the world and their worries.

And for a fortnight, there we were

forever

Run into you sometimes, ask about the

weather

The blonde woman wasn’t her. He couldn’t bring her to his apartment in fear of erasing memories that they’ve made. She made him feel loved but even though it looked like it he wasn’t sharing those feelings. He didn’t love her he knew that he never will she didn’t make him want to be a better man she didn’t make his heart skip a beat every time he saw her. He put on a smile, pretended he was happy, walked the halls with a smile and he hoped that people around him would buy a lie that even he himself couldn’t. The woman that he wanted wasn’t walking the halls with a fake smile truth be told she wasn’t wearing a smile. Every time he run into her he made a stupid comment on the weather just to see that smile that could make his day in a second.

Now you’re in my backyard, turned

into good neighbors

Your wife waters flowers, I wanna

kill her

He still occasionally showed up in her office asking for help on a case that needed no help of hers but he wanted a reason to talk to her see the way her mouth opens just a little bit every time she gets lost in a case and the way her eyes light up when she finally finds a loophole. In short he wanted to be near her. But the blonde woman was still there she called, she dropped by, she brought him dinner. It wasn’t exactly her fault they were in a relationship but what is a relationship when only one person is involved. He had to end it, and he did.

And for a fortnight, there we were

together

Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater

They may have been together for a fortnight but that didn’t mean that he didn’t spoil her. He bought her a sweater that he saw once in a store years ago and the furst thought he had was “God she would look amazing in that.” and now on a random Wednesday she wore it and he of course made a comment on it when walking past her and for a second there he saw that light in her eyes shine.

Now you’re at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors

My husband is cheating, I wanna kill

him

She didn’t know why she decided to take him up on the offer to drop her home, but now that they were already walking to his car it was too late to back out. She was in a relationship she knew but in a relationship where the guy was actively cheating and even though it made her want to kill him at first she wasn’t emotionally in the relationship so who was she to judge.

I love you, it’s ruining my life

I love you, it’s ruining my life

When she took him up on the offer she didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. A thousand unspoken words hung in the air above them just waiting patiently for them to realize something had to be done. But they ignored them continuing their meaningless conversation. She noticed the way his eyes every once in a while lingered on her she loved the feeling. She loved him it was ruining her life.

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, I touched you

Neither of them noticed when he placed his hand on her thigh. It was such an instinct for him to touch her like he touched her then because in the end of the day they were made for each other.

I love you, it’s ruining my life

I love you, it’s ruining my life

She was in his car in his presence where she belonged. Every once in a while when he looked at her and she was already looking at him his heart skipped a beat. She was just sitting there in his ferrari hair all over the place because of the wind and it his eyes she never looked more beautiful. He loved her it was ruining his life.

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, I touched you

When he parked in front of her apartment complex the only thing he wanted to do was turn the car back on and drive her to his apartment but he held himself back. One look from her was enough for his lips to be on her, her hands in his hair and his on her cheeks just like they were once before. Maybe the puzzles were finally starting to fall back into their places.

Thought of callin’ ya but you won’t

pick up

‘Nother fortnight lost in America

That night she laid in her bed unable to sleep. She could still feel him on her. The thought of calling him was overwhelming, but it was the middle of the night he wouldn’t pick up. She didn’t want just another fortnight she wanted a lifetime.

Move to Florida, buy the car you want

But it won’t start up ‘til you touch,

touch, touch me

She knew that moving back home and starting a new life wouldn’t be a solution because she could never forget him. She won’t be able to continue her life without him. She can move away, start a new life, met new people but without him, she won’t be able to really start living.

Thought of callin’ ya but you won’t

pick up

‘Nother fortnight lost in America

Standing on his balcony looking at the city skyline he wished that she was there. He lost count of how many times he brought up her contact meaning to call her but decided against it. It was the middle of the night she wouldn’t pick up anyway. He knew that she was it for him. He couldn’t spend another fortnight without her.

Move to Florida, buy the car you want

But it won’t start up ‘till I touch,

touch, touch you.

Standing in the familiar elevator he went over every single interaction they’ve ever had. From the moment he met her when he poured a cup of coffee down her sweater to the kiss they shared just hours ago. She consumed his thoughts. He knew that no matter what he did he couldn’t continue living without her. It felt like he was standing there in front of her front door for a million years before they finally opened up and when they did he said it, those three words that have haunted him day and night, “I love you”. It took her exactly half a second to say it back, exactly half a seconds to be back in his arms where she belonged. And after the past months being a pure torture, both of them had finally found their way back to each other, found their way back home.

[thecw-unicorn]

A Quiet Night

Astarion x Tav

Summary: After settling down in Rivington for the night, Astarion has a disturbing and vivid nightmare involving his master and Tav.

TW: non-con elements, blood drinking, emotional/psychological abuse, Cazador just in general.

The camp had quieted down to a soothing hum. Mostly everyone had gone back to their tents, leaving just Astarion and the dying campfire. Tav was particularly exhausted after the day, already retiring to her bedroll in their tent.

Their tent.

The phrase still made Astarion’s undead heart flutter. It was quickly becoming his favorite part of their journey, winding down for the night together. Sometimes they would immediately go to sleep, comfortable and quiet together. Other times, they spend hours talking about anything and everything. He gathered his things, and entered the tent, seeing Tav all snugly bundled up, sleeping quietly. The urge to smile was overwhelming and strong. He laid down on his own bedroll, using the sound of Tav’s heartbeat and steady, soothing deep breaths to focus and ground him as the darkness took over.

Astarion couldn’t place exactly what had awoken him, but once he heard a startled gasp, he was fully awake. He rolled over, haphazardly searching for a weapon, and finally saw what had caused that piercing noise.

Cazador.

Cazador, on top of Tav, his knees on her thighs, and arms holding her pinned to the ground. Tav had her head turned away, her eyes closed tightly, as if trying to block out every sensation she was feeling.

Cazador looking at Astarion with a knowing, cruel smile on his lips. Astarion couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t fathom the sight before him. It had happened, Cazador had gotten his hands on Tav, finally finding out about them. He knew should he reach for anything, her throat would be promptly and messily ripped out, left to suffocate on her own blood.

“Please. Please, don’t hurt her. Let her go. You have me, I’m the one you want.” Astarion said immediately, trying to diffuse the situation, or bargain to spare Tav.

Pointless. Waste of time. Cazador doesn’t show mercy to anybody.

“Pathetic as always, my boy. Abandoning your family. Running off with cattle! And now, becoming involved with this…”, he says the word so full of contempt, dripped with venom and hatred.

Astarion was practically paralyzed in fear. The last thing he wanted was to go back willingly to Cazador, or worst of all, Cazador getting his hands on Tav. But now it’s happened, and Astarion can do nothing but stumble his way through this in hopes they both make it out in on piece.

Knowing Cazador, that was near impossible.

“What is it about this one, hmm? What is it about her that has you so distracted?” Cazador looks down at Tav, encouraged by her soft whimpers, his face changing to a more soft look. He runs his fingers through her hair, in a mocking expression of tenderness.

Astarion scrambles for something, anything to get Cazador off and away from her.

“She’s nothing, nobody!” Astarion helplessly insisted.

Cazador laughed, a cruel and mocking sound. “I don’t need to compel you to know you're lying, boy. You feel something for her, don’t you? Or you’ve convinced yourself you do.”

Cazador shifted his gaze to Tav, still pinned under him. “I suppose I can’t entirely blame you. She does smell…so delicious.” He practically moaned at the last bit. “And rather powerful too, isn’t she? Mmm, perhaps I’ll keep her.”

Astarion froze. Keep her? Why would he do that? If he truly did ascend and sacrifice him and his siblings, why keep Tav? Just to further torment you his brain whispered to himself.

He looks around, while Cazador is still focused on Tav and her alluring scent. He spots one of his daggers and stealthy palms it into his hand. Just as he’s rising, Cazador makes his move.

“Don’t you even think about it, boy. You insolent pup.” Cazador’s power washed over Astarion, pushing down and making him complicit.

Gods. It felt like forever ago he was compelled, the long journey making him forget it. That icy feeling taking over, his body being nothing more than Cazador’s toy puppet to be bent at his own amusement.

Astarion sees Tav’s face; her face of sheer and utter terror, and he whimpers. He can’t remember if he’s ever seen her like this. All throughout their adventure, he’s seen her display countless acts of bravery and courage, bordering on stupid, to help others around her. He doesn’t recall ever seeing any flicker of fear on her face then. Not like now. Not like she is, trembling under his master.

Cazador turns his attention back to Tav, his face changing to a smile, one that turns Astarion’s stomach if even possible. He reaches out, gently stroking her hair and caressing her face, and all Astarion can think of is all the times he’s touched Tav similarly, in the comfort and seclusion of their tent. His stomach churns at Cazador’s faux sweetness and affection.

He leans downward, and inhales Tav’s scent. Then without hesitation, drives his fangs into her neck.

Tav gasps at the shock and pain of the intrusion, at the sheer force and intensity of it. Astarion, even the first night when he was starving, always was as gentle as can be, always careful with how much he took.

Cazador, on the other hand, was aggressive and greedy. He held her firmly in place, as she tried to buck him off of her, to keep him from draining her dry. He holds her tightly in place, barely allowing any movement aside from her fingers and toes.

She can feel the fight quickly draining with her blood, as he drinks, and drinks, and drinks. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t even give her a moment to gather her breath or her bearings.

Astarion sees it too. He sees her fighting cease and her body going still and knows that Cazador feels it too. He can almost see the smirk on his master’s face right about now. He can smell her sweet, alluring blood in the air, and can tell Cazador isn’t being neat or clean about it either. Whether it was from his own hunger or to further taunt Astarion, he couldn’t tell.

Just when she could feel the darkness pulling at her and her eyelids becoming impossible to stay open, Cazador pulls back, but not before running his tongue over her puncture wounds on her neck, careful not to miss a single bead of her blood.

He holds the back of her head in his hand, with his arm on her shoulder, his lips smeared with her blood, and a small bit dribbling down his mouth. Tav can barely process the scene before her, too lightheaded and lacking in blood to understand or notice.

“Mmm. Now I see why my boy liked you so much,” Cazador says, while caressing the side of her cheek with his hand. Astarion knew he couldn’t move, but he could still speak.

“Enough! You have me! Let her go, and just take me back already!” He yells. He doesn’t know what to think, what to do, with him here. He has him right where he wants him, what more could he possibly want?

It was never that simple with Cazador.

“Oh? Did you not hear what I said before stupid, wretched child? I want her, too.” He stares at her, her face pallid from the blood loss. “She’ll be my new spawn once I’ve ascended. And will forever remember that it’s your fault she’s mine.”

Oh no. Astarion thinks, with cold dread slicing through him. Tav, his Tav—sweet, kind-hearted Tav, who went around giving her gentleness and grace to so many they had met on their journey, and still fierce and courageous against their foes—a spawn. Not just that, but Cazador’s spawn. The thought makes Astarion want to vomit rentlessly, over and over again. And not just that, but his for eternity.

The rules, the endless hunger, ever-present fear of doing something wrong, the countless acts of torture for no reason other than his master’s amusement, all of that being subjected to Tav. Astarion can barely fathom the depths of the horror and terror.

Before Astarion can think next, Cazador reaches out to him, grabbing his arm roughly before cloaking them all in a red mist—

Astarion jolts roughly, awakened from his hellish nightmare.

He looks around, frantically taking in his surroundings. He still sees the tent, but just him and Tav. He sees the opening of the tent flapping from the gentle breeze outside, the moon shining brightly.

He looks over and sees Tav, still sleeping soundly in her bundle of blankets.

He’s not here. He’s not here. I am with Tav. Tav is with me. Tav is safe. We are in our tent in Rivington. He tells himself to calm down. He didn’t even need to breathe in this undead body, but couldn’t help himself. As if not breathing would make the horrid nightmare true.

He stares at Tav, taking all of her in. Sleeping on her side, her hair messy from sleep, a usually endearing sight to the pale elf, if he weren’t still reeling from his dream. Her arms were wrapped around a stuffed bear they’d picked up from some seller in town nearby.

He moves closer to her, brushing some of the hair away from her face, and noting, thankfully, no new puncture marks on her neck from a vampire lord.

He doesn’t want to even think about it, Tav as his spawn, yet the thought forms anyways. Enduring the rules, the punishments, the senseless torture, whoring herself out to lure in fresh meals for the master…

He quickly shakes his head, trying to dispel the idea from going further and further. He moves over towards Tav, careful not to wake her. She’d be doing so much. Not just for him, but for everybody in their group. The least he could do is afford her some well earned sleep.

He gently wraps his arms around Tav, trying to find her heartbeat and focus on it. He buries his nose in her hair, breathing her scent in deeply, attempting to ingrain it forever in his brain.

She’s okay. She’s safe. She’s with me. He doesn’t have her.

He repeats the mantra over and over into his head, until he falls back intro his trance.

[agenderduck]

thinking about how duck and red are two sides of the same coin, opposites yet exactly the same. duck is a square, a cube if you will. he desperately wants to be in control of something, anything. deep down though he wants nothing more than for the trio to be a family because that is where he feels most safe and secure. duck’s can’t live without their flock. he acts out of fear though he’ll never admit it. any slip up on his end could lead to the trio separating again. so he clings to his clipboard and does his visual inventory by compulsion. duck does it to feel some level of ‘control’ because what choice does he have? he hates feeling weak, but most of all he hates the thought of his friends being anywhere but with him.

red on the other hand is a rhombus/diamond, a square slightly tipped to the side. on the surface it seems like a different shape but they have the same amount of sides, and the same dimensions. red says he wants to be dead because in his eyes its the only way he can gain some level of control over himself, though true death will never be an option for them within the cycle. those sweet moments of darkness might be nice for a second but then before he knows it the lights are back on and the house is spinning again.

transport and electricity highlight how duck and red will never have the same courage yellow has to confront his discomfort with the cycle. both will inevitably continue to run from that discomfort. red runs from everything all the time, like duck’s death, or the three of them being a family. he runs from his discomfort with the cycle in transport, and it is far from his first time doing something similar. red is too beaten down to question things like yellow does. deep down he cares for the other two, realistically he can’t live without them, but he wishes he could. red associates them with the house often, and the things he himself can’t be. duck on the other hand runs by desperately trying to hide the fact that hes terrified behind his ego and abiding by the rules. he is consistently beaten down and devalued by it, duck has long since given up questioning why these things happen to him. why would he fight back when bad things will continue to happen to him regardless? the trio could be split up for all he knows,it could put their little family at risk. so when yellow starts questioning things in electricity,duck is not just worried that his friend is acting differently, and out of the norm its also a reminder of the fact that he will never be able to do the same.

they’re not allowed to feel much of anything, forced to put forward the often worst parts of themselves, forced into character types they don’t want to play. red and duck bicker, but its not out of hatred for each other, quite the opposite really. they respect and care for each other deeply, though they would rarely ever admit it. red, because of his general avoidance, and duck because he assumes its already implied. they huddle together when yellow starts acting ‘wrong’ in electricity because the sense of familiarity they have with each other is comforting. both puppets love and care for yellow, but fail to truly understand him and his point of view. as long as they’re in the light the trio’s interactions with each other will be hollow and limited. for duck and red the only time we see them truly open up around each other is in the dark. only then do they realize they actually like looking at each other. ‘my housemate has really pretty eyes actually…. why am i only just now realizing that.’ they see each other in the fridge scene in a way they’re denied most every other time. they realize that they genuinely enjoy each other’s presence and appearance all while barely being able to see each other. its both intimate and sad. the scene is abruptly interrupted when red and duck question where yellow is who shortly after appears to have come back down stairs, accidentally letting the light back in. anything that was just said goes straight into the shredder. the trio will never be on the same page ever. no real change will ever be made for duck and red with their egos and vulnerabilities getting in the way. so while duck and red have the potential to make each other better on paper, they will more than likely make each other so much worse, they are puppets bound and choked by their own strings.