#NO TRIGGER WARNINGS

[mamayan]

★彡CRINGE☆彡

Shit I think the KNY Hashira do or have done— this is for fun only, don’t come for me if these doesn’t perfectly align with you~

tw: none!

Water Hashira! Giyuu Tomioka

He talks to himself, like long inner monologues spoken only to like, a wall. It doesn’t make sense half the time. He’s working it out.

Laundry sniffer, he isn’t sure it’s clean until he smells it, and even then he’s confused because is it clean? He’ll rewash clothes because they might smell clean but he can’t remember if he wore it or not.

Tries to pet dogs that absolutely will bite him.

Sound Hashira! Tengen Uzui

Will lose his jewelry and act like someone hid it on purpose from him. Acts similar to a 19 year old who lost their vape at someone’s house.

He’s stained multiple tatami mats/futons with his nail polish because he didn’t let them dry before messing around.

Makes scary faces at children to scare them and then laughs afterward.

Fire Hashira! Kyojuro Rengoku

He will repeat aloud the thing you whisper to him so loudly it defeats the purpose of whispering in his ear.

Will shed everywhere and not clean up after himself. The equivalent of smacking the hair on the shower wall after washing but it’s his whole house. Sorry Senjuro—

Believes tickling is fun and everyone loves it, even when the person being tickled is on the verge of passing out/pissing their pants.

Execute children without trial—

Stone Hashira! Gyomei Himejima

Forgets your height, asks for things that are impossible to get because he put it up way the hell up there.

His head pats are more painful than they are cute, it’s like he’s hammering your skull into your neck.

Will get ink stains on his robes/desk/etc. because he never puts away his stationary properly.

Wind Hashira! Sanemi Shinazugawa

Will threaten you within an inch of your life for one small accident (papercut) but will become enraged if you level him with the same treatment after he’s nearly killed himself with training.

Will mother hen you in the weirdest ways, like wiping your face with his spit to get the dirt off.

Won’t tell you something is wrong with your appearance in public, but will stare you down to give you the hint something is. He thinks it’s a universal sign. No one knows what the hell it means except him and maybe Genya.

Snake Hashira! Obanai Iguro

He comes up with some of the most clever and insidious jokes but tells them at the wrong time. Way too late or too early for anyone to catch it and then it’s not funny anymore.

Will let Kaburamaru shed wherever and will leave the skin. Unless it’s Mitsuri standing right there, he will not be cleaning it up. Has scared multiple Kakushi who thought they stepped on Kaburamaru and killed him.

Doesn’t take his shoes off when entering homes, etc. even if there’s no tatami mats. He only shows respect to Ubuyashiki and Mitsuri’s estates.

Mist Hashira! Muichiro Tokito

He bathes as needed, which in his opinion, doesn’t need to be all that often. Teenage boys are gross no matter how pretty they look. Natural body odor isn’t all that bad though, so he gets away with it.

He will hear you speak words and interpret them entirely however he wants. He will confuse himself because he swore he heard you tell him to go take a nap. You didn’t—

Will send the food back at a restaurant if even the tiniest thing is wrong.

Love Hashira! Mitsuri Kanroji

She will create full and detailed stories in her mind of people around her, and confuse herself because she can’t remember if she thought it for them or if they did it. Me too girl—

Cuteness is justice mentality: The cuter she finds you, the less wrong you can do in her eyes. Obanai

Like Kyojuro, sheds everywhere, 100% the hair on the shower wall sort of girl. She does clean up after herself much better than Kyojuro.

Poison Hashira! Shinobu Kocho my wife

She does no wrong.

Petty as hell and will absolutely make your stay at her estate miserable if you piss her off. You won’t know what you did, but you’ll find your food and living conditions plummet.

Can’t sleep if her pillow doesn’t smell like her, no sleep overs for this girl unless she brings her own bedding.

If she finds out you have a pet peeve, she will lay into it with passion and grit. Tengen loses his shit when he hears people sucking their teeth… Shinobu is happy to recondition him. It’s her way of showing she cares♡!

[bleach-your-panties]

And I just wanna add a little footnote to this racism conversation:

We can see you.

Trust that all of your black mutuals are watching how you respond to these topics and conversations, BUT NOT ONLY THAT-

Also to how our content is constantly ghosted over or, how our hc's/tropes are constantly disputed, and dare I say it, how our readers are WHITEWASHED, even.

Sometime back in December/January, I not only had a fic STOLEN from me, but rewritten with a WHITE READER.

If you're smart enough to use Tumblr, you're smart enough to know that whitewashing is highly frowned upon.

Now let's get into the fucking gatekeeping:

What makes you think your favs wouldn't like/find black people attractive? I say black because I'm black.

I don't post every dumb ass racist anon that I get in my inbox, but they have been here; trust me.

Especially the one informing me that I should' like more characters of my own race '

Which is why I am now EXTREMELY uncomfortable sharing any selfship other than the two that I do.

So please spare me with this inclusivity bullshit.

At this point, if you're not an ally, you're surely an enemy.

----

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless.

Not to speak is to speak.

Not to act is to act."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

[amberjazmyn]

slipping through my fingers 🫶

pairing : charles leclerc x fem!leclerc reader

summary : it's the day of charles leclerc's younger sister madaline's wedding to her long-time fiancé. charles and the f1 grid are way more emotional about it than they all thought they would be. they realised that their little sister was growing up and almost as though she was slipping through their fingers. especially when twelve hours before, marianna was utterly frightful of getting married to her fiancé. 

warnings :  other than some tears, older brother x charles leclerc, mentions of the losses of jules bianchi & herve leclerc, wedding fluff but not much

a/n : this is the third time i'm rewriting this and i love it so much so i decided to rewrite it for the one and only charles leclerc because this is my fave abba song. also, this is not to disrespect the losses of herve leclerc and jules bianchi, it is so saddening that charles has lost those two important men in his life as well as others like anthoine hubert and this is not to be rude or any of the sort. 

madaline was absolutely mortified and she couldn't understand why she was so scared. was it because she was twenty-three years old and was getting married to the love of her life in literally less than twelve hours? or that she was getting married without two of the most important people there with her? for as long as she could remember, her biggest fear was the prospect of something bad happening to her parents and her family. yet, within two years of one another, madaline lost her brother charles' godfather, jules, to an f1 crash and then their dad two years later to a terminal illness, their mum the last parent left. and now, at this point, she had absolutely no idea about who she was going to get ready with for her wedding, who was going to walk her down the aisle or anything of that sort. come to think of it actually, madaline felt and knew exactly the fear, stress and anxiety that sophie sheridan from mamma mia was going through during the movie. and honestly, this isn't something that the poor girl ever thought she'd be feeling twelve hours out from her wedding. she genuinely thought she'd be jumping up and with the utmost excitement, more than she had ever been before. however, she couldn't even think about jumping up and down or be a tad bit excited and it was all because of the fact her mum, pascale, was focusing on helping the groom. not because she hated her daughter but because she knew that it was best to have her girls with her. that and she didn't have her dad, herve or jules, to walk her down the aisle and give her away to her husband-to-be. 

madaline felt like her head was travelling and spinning at a million miles per millisecond and she couldn't do anything to stop it, even if she tried. even if some of her bridesmaids told her to relax and that she was going to be okay, she physically couldn't and it genuinely caused some arguements. and that was something everyone had been hoping and trying their hardest to avoid the entire time. so, as tears began to cloud the young girl's eyes, chaos freely flying around her mind, she ran to the only other two people she knew would be able to help her clear her mind, making her judgement clearer.

holding back sobs, madaline helplessly beat down on the bedroom door of charles and his girlfriend alexandra and when no noise of acknowledgement came back, the distressed bride-to-be nearly slid down the door in complete hysterics. before madaline suddenly squealed, the door opened however charles nor alexandra opened the door. kika and lily did, the girlfriends of pierre gasly and oscar piastri.

"...madaline? are you okay sweetheart?" kika questioned, lily reaching her hand out for madaline to hold as the girl's teary eyes grew wide as she tried to hide her tears

both kika and lily knew their "sister" and could immediately tell that the young bride-to-be wasn't okay. however, both lily and kika didn't need to wait that long before madaline shook her head.

her eyes closing as her body shook from her sobs before being immediately scooped up in a hug by the two girls, "oh, madaline, baby girl, what's wrong?" kika whispered, softly rocking the distressed girl side to side, lily moving side to side as well

allowing the girl to calm down properly, the girls waited patiently for an answer, taking in a breath, madaline responded, "the wedding...it...i'm scared, kika, lily...ah..sorry for the tears--"

"--don't apologise, sweetpea, not to us especially...why are you so scared, madaline? i think instead of this just being between the three of us, we should tell charles, arthur and lorenzo or pascale even?" lily stepped in this time, offering the girl options as to who else she could talk to about her wedding fears as madaline managed a small smirk in gratitude for kika and lily

  "thanks girls and could i tell you and charles, please?" madaline almost whispered, sounding almost ashamed for being so fearful of the event that she was once so excited about and was now so terrified of 

 "oh, of course, you can darling! sit tight here for a bit, alright and we'll grab charles..." as lily and kika went to both leave the room to get charles, one of madaline's brother, they were stopped by that very girl who refused to get go of the girls' hands scoffing softly, kika spoke up this time as she turned around,

 "...darling, we can't get charles if you don't let go of me and lily," kika spoke softly as madaline shook her head

the girls quickly recognising the fear in madaline's as the same one they first saw when the news broke out about the deaths of her dad herve. breaking the hearts of both kika and lily - since it was a look they hadn't seen since that day.

 "can...ah...shoot...could you both stay here?" madaline stammered out shyly as both kika and lily immediately nodded their heads, kika grabbing her phone to shoot charles a text instead

"of course, i can mads," kika smiled softly, the text quickly sent as she pulled her distressed bff in for another hug whilst they all, kika, lily and madaline waited for charles

the three girls found their way to charles' bed and sat there quietly when they suddenly heard the quick footsteps of charles. it sounded like he was panicking and running so, they knew right away they needed everyone to be calm and collected. so, with the help of kika and lily, madaline took in some deep breaths and tried to reduce and get rid of as many tears from her face as possible. however, the moment charles entered the room, it seemed like he could already tell what was stressing his little sister out and it truly devastated him and he didn't even need to think that hard to figure it out either.

catching his breath back, charles gently went down to his knees and held his sister's hands, "je sais pourquoi tu as peur madaline mais je veux que tu me le dises. qu'est-ce qui te tracasse, chérie ? qu'est-ce qui vous empêche d'être si enthousiasmé par ce qui sera le plus beau jour de votre vie et de celle de votre fiancé ? tu étais tellement excité ces dernières semaines, qu'est-ce qui a changé?" charles whispered in french as kika and lily slowly backed away, allowing the brother and sister to have this talk in private, madaline's chin wobbled as she shrugged her shoulders i know why you're scared madaline but i want you to tell me. what's bothering you, honey? what's stopping you from being so excited about what's going to be the happiest day of your and your fiancé's life? you were so excited the past few weeks, what's changed?

truthfully, she didn't want to tell her brother the reason, even though she knew he knew since he just explained that he knew but wanted to hear it from her. she just felt like if she said it out loud, it would be true and she didn't want it to be true. madaline, in some ways, still refused to believe that their dad and charles' godfather were dead, as childish (and possibly delusional) as it was, she still hated the thought that she, at twenty-three, only had her mum left apart from her three brother's, lorenzo, charles and arthur. she despised that she was the only leclerc sibling out of all four of them that wouldn't get the chance to have their dad walk her down the aisle and have jules there like she always dreamt they would. whilst lorenzo was the only other sibling married, it still was upsetting that madaline that her dad would never get the opportunity to walk her down the aisle and she'd never get the opportunity to tease jules for being so emotional over it during the reception. wait, depised isn't the right word at all. it absolutely killed her that her dad and jules weren't alive to see her get married to the man who truly saved their youngest daughter's life more times than countable on two hands. however, charles wanted to be told so then he could help his sister because he knew how hard it was to plan a wedding with your parents involved so, he knew that it would be even harder without.so, he wanted to do every single thing, big or small, he could to help his little sister with the most important day of her life.

 charles sighed softly, picking himself up off the ground and sitting beside his sister on his bed, "est-ce que ça a à voir avec le fait que papa et jules ne soient pas là ?" charles whispered softly, emotion wavering in his voice for it was also emotional for him to talk about the fact that their dad and godfather weren't alive for the wedding as madaline's staggered breath and nod of the head confirmed charles's question has it got to do with dad and jules not being here?

madaline closed her eyes, leaning into her brother as the tears she had tried so desperately hard to hold back just exploded down her face as she covered it with her hand. charles held his sister as tightly as he could as his heart broke even more. this was basically the first time since losing their dad and jules that madaline had actually cried over their deaths. which is why it was hitting the girl all at once with her wedding being less than a day away and knowing that dad and jules wouldn't be there to be witness to it.

even though it was more than charles just being an emotional person, he could also feel tears stream down his own cheeks as he hugged his sister tightly as she just fell apart in his grip, "je t'aime, madaline. tout ira bien, je le promets," charles whispered as he started to soothe madaline's cries as she started to take in some deep breaths to control herself i love you, madaline. we'll be okay, i promise

"je t'aime aussi, charles... et tu le penses vraiment ?" madaline whispered back as charles nodded his head, his grip not once weakening i love you too, charles...and you really think so?

"je le sais, madaline! quoi qu'il arrive, ils seront toujours avec nous, dans nos cœurs et cela ne pourra jamais nous être enlevé!" charles responded as madaline hummed, a small smile gracing her lips as she nodded her head in agreement i know so, madaline! no matter what, they'll always be with us, in our hearts and that can never be taken away from us!

 "personne ne peut l'enlever..." she trailed off as she and charles stayed in one another's embrace no one can take that away

❘༻༺❘

𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐚𝐲

 her head was swirling with regret, madaline had just blurted out to her brother's girlfriend, alexandra if she could help her get ready for her wedding alongside kika, lily and kelly. it originally looked as though alex didn't want to do it, that is, until tears welled in her eyes and she smiled.

tearing up, alexandra spoke up, "...you want me to help you get ready, mads?" she nearly whispered as her voice caught with emotion, madaline nodding her head with the sweetest smile after she relaxed

"is that okay, alex?" madaline questions with the biggest smile as lily, kika and kelly stand behind the girl with smiles on their face 

alexandra nodded her head, her smile big, "of course! i'd be honoured, madaline! thank you for even asking me let alone lily, kika and kelly! do the other girls in the bridal party know we're helping you?" alexandra questions as madaline smiles, nodding her head 

"yeah, that's why maman's with them. she's getting ready with them right now. we'll be seeing them after though during the first look alongside charles and the groomsmen," madaline smiled as alexandra sighed, pulling her sister-in-law in for a hug and smiled 

lily, kika and kelly also smiling and immediately decided to get the young bride ready in an instant, the rest of the bridal party getting ready next door. 

and because it was all of a sudden too quiet, the girls decided to play her wedding playlist they had specifically created and hit shuffle. and, like it was fate, the very first song that played was none other than abba's slipping through my fingers. smiling softly as kika started her makeup, madaline started to sing and hearing her sing made the other girls smile at her. especially since the girl's favourite movie was mamma mia, the movie from which this song is from. 

  schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile, i watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness 

 madaline smiled as she sat on the makeup chair whilst kika did her makeup whilst lily, kelly and alexandra watched on in pure joy at the girl's happiness when just not even a day earlier, she was terrified and sobbing in her older brother's arms about it.

it hadn't taken kika that long to do madaline's makeup when she smacked the bride-to-be's bum and told her to move over to lily's. sitting in lily's lap, lily started to paint madaline's toenails since her nails had already been done days beforehand alongside kelly.

and, it was at this moment that madaline realised why weddings were so emotional and so stressful because there was a sort of innocence that she'd be losing because she'd be growing up. but, at the same time, madaline was the happiest she had ever been and she was just so excited to be married that she kind of tried her best to soak in and savour all the emotion so that she'd never forget it. 

  and i have to sit down for a while, the feeling that i'm losing her forever, and without really entering her world, i'm glad whenever i can share her laughter, that funny little girl 

 whilst doing madaline's toes, lily started to sing along with her to slipping through my fingers as it truly did feel like the f1 grid was losing their little leclerc baby after a short twenty-three years. and six of those twenty-three years, she had been dating her husband-to-be. so, for the rest of the f1 grid seeing their little baby finally marry her husband made it real for them. it made it real that she was growing up and entering into the new life that they all had been in for more than two decades at this point.

even though he knew he wasn't allowed to be actively looking for his sister, charles just couldn't help himself to stay when he heard madaline and lily, along with kika, kelly and alexandra, all sing together. it almost made him teary-eyed when he realised the song... who was he kidding, it totally made him cry when he heard the song as he rested his head against the door as he too also started to quietly sing along to the song. this song is really meaningful to charles now that he really started to feel like his younger sister was slipping through his fingers and finally growing up and getting married.

slipping through my fingers all the time, i try to capture every minute, the feeling in it

charles sang softly as he closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he rested his head against the door of the room where his sister was getting ready with the help of his girlfriend alexandra and the other f1 wags. the wedding photographer was also in there but seemed as though she was also joining in with the singing and having fun.

charles smiled tearfully as he continued to sing, grateful that even though madaline was missing their dad and jules. who were sadly no longer with them on earth, she was still positive and allowing herself to fully be present and have all the fun in the world. no longer upset or scared about her wedding.

  slipping through my fingers all the time, do i really see what's in her mind? each time i think i'm close to knowing, she keeps on growing 

 as charles sang softly on the other side of the door, lily had finished painting madaline's toenails so kelly was now taking care of madaline's hairstyle before finishing it off by having alexandra help assist madaline into her wedding dress.

the girls continued to sing whilst the photographer continued to snap some candid photos of kelly curling madaline's hair before braiding two sections and forming it into a bun at the base of her head. "...wow kelly, this looks perfect and it's only just started..." 

  slipping through my fingers all the time

madaline smiled at the mirror as kelly finished doing her hair. her long blonde locks were curled and put back with a braided bun that was decorated with baby's breath. now that her hair, makeup and toenails were done, all that was left was to get her into her ceremony dress since madaline realised she couldn't choose between two. so, instead of having to choose which one to say no to, she decided which one to wear for the actual ceremony and then which one to wear for the reception afterwards.

"...thank you girls! i cannot thank you enough for helping me get ready!"

charles' pov

i could tell from the window next to madaline's room that she was getting changed into her ceremony dress with the help of my girlfriend, charlotte. turning away from the window, i sat down and rested against the door as i softly started to sing the next verse of slipping through my fingers. i hadn't realised until this very moment that the girls had been playing it and singing to it that i really related to it. in the same way, dad and jules surely would have related to it, because it was finally madaline's wedding day, i truly realised and felt like she was all of a sudden just slipping through my fingers and growing up way too quickly for my liking.

going back through our childhood together, before my motorsport really took off and took me away from my family, i remember always telling madaline to just slow down. because, before she knew it, she'd be getting married and having to do the adult stuff like pay for bills and work tirelessly so she should be thankful that she was still young. and for her to stay young for as long as she could and now, she was an adult. i mean, she has for the last few years, only a year younger than me and she was getting married. and there was no way i could just press a button that stopped time and stopped my sister from getting any older. 

and i'm not saying this because i never want madaline to grow up or get married or create her own family. nah, that just sounds a tiny bit creepy. it brings me so much joy to see madaline grow up and get married to her beautiful husband-to-be and have a family with him. it just makes me sad that she's no longer that spunky, bubbly, innocent little girl like she used to be. i just sometimes wish she could stay this little forever as selfish as it sounds, i just know it's something that dad and jules would be begging madaline about because i know they'd also want their little girl to stay as little forever as i'd want her to. 

but, that's the thing, she can't stay that little forever and, she has to grow up and get married and have her own family. otherwise i don't think madaline would be as happy as she is now if she wasn't moments away from getting married to her husband-to-be.

sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table barely awake, i let precious time go by. then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling and a sense of guilt i can't deny

i smiled as i sang, even though i knew i'd start crying and just let myself reflect. i was remembering those days when madaline and i were younger than we are now, obviously, sleep in our eyes and the both of us eating our breakfast together before going our separate ways to school and whatever it was i was doing with karting and motorsport. and now, i've realised the precious time that i just let slip away now that she's gone and just as donna sings to sophie, i feel that same odd melancholy feeling and guilt that i wasn't able to deny.

as the girls continued to sing, i knew i had to leave since i also had to get ready due to the wedding being less than an hour away at this point. walking away, i could faintly hear madaline and the girls sing the next verse making me smile at two of my best girls.

what happened to the wonderful adventures, the places i had planned for us to go? well, some of that we did, but most we didn't and why, i just don't know

knowing that i had been crying before walking back into the room where the groomsmen and best men were getting ready, i wiped away my tears as best as i could and took in a deep breath. mainly because i knew if madaline's husband-to-be saw me crying, he himself might start freaking out and that wasn't something that was needed at this point. especially now with so little time before the actual ceremony taking place. however, as soon as the lads were all ready and just chilling at this point, resting in our hotel room after so many photos had been taken, a small knock was heard on the door.

due to being the closest to the door, pierre opened it to see his girlfriend, kika's gorgeous smile straight away, "hey kika, what are you doing here?" pierre spoke up as kika smiled before giving an apologetic look to noah, madaline's husband-to-be

"i am so sorry noah but, is it okay if i just steal your guys for a moment? madaline has requested to have a small little moment with them before the ceremony..." kika trailed off as all of the groomsmen (me, pierre, lando, max, daniel, oscar, taylor and damien, two of noah's brothers) all lit up in excitement as noah smiled

"...of course you can, kika, it's not a problem at all," noah smiles as kika sends him a wink and grabs my hand whilst the rest of the groomsmen filter out behind us in a mix of confusion and excitement as to why we were suddenly being summoned

❘༻༺❘

by the time the groomsmen and kika had made their way to a gorgeous floral archway, they stopped and in confusion, charles spoke up asking kika why they had been dragged all the way over there.

"...kika, what are we doing here?" charles questions with a soft giggle as francisca smiles lovingly at her best friend

knowing that madaline wouldn't have the chance of a first look with her dad and to be walked down the aisle by him, she thought this was the perfect time to let madaline have a first look with her husband-to-be's groomsmen. which included her brother and also have him walk her down the aisle.

smiling, kika spoke up, "do you trust me, charles?" charles smiled and nodded his head at his best friend almost immediately - of course he trusted her, how could he not?

"of course, i trust you, kika!" charles answers in a matter-of-fact tone which makes the group giggle as francisca smiles back before responding

"good because i'll need you guys to close your eyes and keep them closed until i tell you to open them again, okay?" kika announces which slightly worries them but they listen and close their eyes

francisca noticed that all the guys had closed their eyes and weren't trying to peak or try to see what was going on so she gestured for madaline to come out of her hiding spot and walk over to the groomsmen for the first look.

slipping through my fingers all the time, i try to capture every minute the feeling in it

taking in a deep breath, madaline stood in front of her husband-to-be's groomsmen which literally included her older brother, charles and the other f1 grid racers that her husband was friends with. this was originally a moment she had been waiting for and dreaming of doing with her dad and jules. however, due to their untimely deaths, she wasn't able to do that. so, noah, madaline and francisca decided that as a compromise, madaline would instead do a first look with the groomsmen and then ask charles if he could walk her down the aisle since their dad wasn't able to do it.

francisca gave the girl some comfort knowing this whole situation was emotional and bittersweet for the girl before giving her a slight head nod, signalling that she could tell the guys to open their eyes.

"...you can open your eyes now..."

slipping through my fingers all the time, do i really see what's in her mind? each time i think i'm close to knowing, she keeps on growing. slipping through my fingers all the time

...as soon as madaline spoke up, letting the guys open their eyes, they did just that and then all fell silent as soon as they realised who was in front of them. standing in front of noah's groomsmen stood madaline all dressed up in her wedding dress and looking exactly how charles had imagined his baby sister would look like on her wedding day.

silence filled the floral outdoor archway for a few more moments before a tearful charles spoke up in french, "...tu es si jolie, madaline," he sniffled quietly as he smiled wide as madaline sighed out of relief as she giggled softly you look so pretty, madaline

"thanks, charles, you guys look so good as well!" madaline giggled in english as she swayed side to side shyly before charles walked forward

grabbing his sister's hands, he lifted one up as she smiled in slight confusion before understanding what he was doing when he started to twirl her to see the rest of the dress and the back of her hair. holding back a sob with his free hand, charles spoke up again as everyone else watched on with smiles.

"dad and jules are for sure kicking themselves that they're not here to see this," charles' voice broke as tears welled in his eyes and madaline nodded her head, her facial expressions softening

"i know, charles. i bet they are roaring mad that they're missing out but, i know they're here, i can feel them. they may not be alive but they're here!" madaline smiled as she pulled her brother in for a hug, giving him a quick kiss on the head

she then moved to pierre, lando, max, daniel, oscar, taylor and damien for hugs before moving back over to her brother to ask him a very important question.

"...charles, i have a question i wanted to ask you..." madaline trailed off in english so the others could understand since not all of them spoke or understood french as she held her brother's hand as he smiled, nodding his head

"...what is it bug?" charles replied with a smile on his face as everyone else watched on in suspense, everyone but kika, obviously

"well, since dad isn't here, and mum focusing on all of her other jobs making sure lorenzo and arthur are behaving, i was wondering if you wanted to walk me down the aisle and give me away..." madaline trailed off as charles' eyes once again filled with tears as a shaky breath left his mouth

"...are you sure?" charles whispered as his voice broke and madaline nodded her head, a big smile on her face

"i'm serious, i'm not marrying noah if you don't give me away, please charles. and before you ask, i have already asked mum, lorenzo and arthur but they have all kindly refused, wanting it to be you. so, please, will you walk me down the aisle, cause, truthfully, i'm too scared to do it alone..." madaline trailed off softly, her voice in a tone that wasn't at all pleading as charles gulped

he had no idea that their mum and two other brothers had refused to walk their daughter and sister down the aisle because they wanted him to do it instead. he wasn't hesitating because he didn't want to walk his sister down the aisle, he was hesitating because he knew that this job was supposed to be their dad's, not his. however, charles quickly came to his decision and wiped away his tears, smiling and nodding his head.

"even though i wish dad was here to do this, i'll be honoured to walk you down the aisle, mads," charles breathed out with a smile, madaline smiled brightly as she was brought into a hug by charles

❘༻༺❘

sometimes i wish that i could freeze the picture, and save it from the funny tricks of time, slipping through my fingers...

madaline smiled as she and charles walked down the aisle, her husband-to-be, noah patiently waiting for them. staring at her in complete awe, noah felt tears well in his eyes but he kept his cool even when he saw the tears well in his soon-to-be brother-in-law's eyes as he held his younger sister's hand as tightly as he possibly could.

the song that charles and madaline were walking down the aisle to was amazed by lonestar since it was the song that had been pre-picked by jules and herve years ago, before noah and madaline were even old enough to consider being married. it only made sense that that song stayed unchanged as it now paid tribute to them both.

the brother and sister had now made it halfway down the aisle and that was when they finally decided to share a sweet, comforting look with one another. both of them acknowledged that whilst today was a happy occasion, it was still upsetting and bittersweet that their dad and jules weren't alive to see it take place.

leaning to her ear, charles spoke up in french, "ça va, bug?" he whispered as madaline smiled and lightly nodded her head, so as not to alert the guests that they were talking you alright, bug?

"mhm, je vais bien charles," she mumbled back as charles smiled and took in another deep breath, comforted by the fact that his sister was okay mhm, i'm okay charles

"slipping through my fingers all the time. schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile,"

tears filled charles' eyes as he gave his sister away to marry noah, ignoring the way the bridal party, groomsmen and guests watched in complete awe. standing with his girlfriend with the rest of the bridal party, he couldn't help the tears that fell down his cheeks watching his sister get married to her husband without their dad and jules there at the wedding since their deaths.

halfway through the ceremony, madaline turned her head and made eye contact with her teary-eyed brother. understanding her brother's emotions, she smiled comfortingly and gave him a little wave before returning her attention back to the ceremony and her husband who gave her a sweet smile.

charles never realised until now that madaline had well and truly slipped through his fingers and it no longer bothered him because it wasn't like she'd never return ever again. 

fin

this was so much fun to write for a third time! anyway, i love this one-shot so much that i'm going to do like a part two that follows the reception part of madaline and noah's wedding and have it include the best man speech and all that jazz. it may also follow an abba song or something but i don't know yet but do keep your eyes peeled as it will be a good one.

[pygmi-cygni]

vent - functional literacy vs YA publication

this has been sitting in my head for years, really, but I'm so glad more people are starting to notice the effects.

YA novels have been slowly corrupting publishing strategy and overall, the literacy of readers.

DISCLAIMER

I am not saying people shouldn't read YA. Obviously, YA is a genre best suited for a certain age group (12-18). YA is fitted for the appropriate Lexile level of 12-18 year olds.

However.

More than half of YA readers are older than eighteen, most in their early to mid twenties.

Why is this a problem?

The accessibility, popularity, and easy reading level of YA novels is appealing to mass audiences. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it means that adults are not expanding their reading level. This is a troubling reality for advanced employment.

In a work environment, reading is content-appropriate and usually highly advanced. Employees need to analyze and maturely reason with product/client problems and find solutions. As you get older, the reading content is supposed to evolve to fit that mindset.

When adults are consistently reading below the expectation, it weakens their reasoning skills and makes them functionally illiterate.

About 21% of American adults are functionally illiterate.

What is functional literacy?

Literacy is the ability to read and write proficiently and at an age-appropriate level. Functional Literacy is the ability to reason and use reading/writing skills to connect topics to the world around you.

TLDR: literacy: I can read the paragraph. functional literacy: I can find the theme/deeper meaning of the paragraph and relate it to something contextually relevant.

Why is this bad?

An inability to reason and analyze means that employees and adults in general are less equipped to deal with age-appropriate problems. After a while, underperforming becomes a norm. In advanced fields of work like medicine and technology, this inhibits expansion and proactive care.

The YA industry has normalized a mediocre, basic structure of writing. A problem has arisen with the lexile level juxtaposed with the content level.

Plenty of 'YA' novels contain graphic content that is very mature and should be handled as such - namely, sex and mental health. In a lot of popular BookTok and 'mafia/forbidden romance' books, the reading and writing level is consumable for 14-18 year olds, but the content maturity is very adult.

Hence, mature topics are handled poorly and young people are exposed to very damaging material without proper education or understanding of real-life consequences. Similar to the sex ed crisis; when teenagers aren't given a proper explanation and education about impactful issues, they grow into uneducated and naive adults.

Does this show up in school?

Yes. yes, 1000%. I work as a TA for several of my professors and I tutor high school students.

I have noticed a resounding difference in reading and writing ability in the last five years.

When I was in the tenth grade, we read Animal Farm, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Ayn Rand. it was expected that you could reasonably explain and hypothesize about themes, real-life examples, and differences between old and new world priorities.

I have talked to students that don't know what a theme is. They cannot analyze more than spelling and grammar. The writing quality they test into basically plateaus at 9th grade. Most popular media is a 9th grade or younger reading level. This doesn't prompt people to advance their reading skills, because 'they don't have to.'

This terrifies me, because there are so many occupations that require advanced lexile levels and adults just aren't meeting standard.

A large part of this has to do with the internet.

DISCLAIMER 2

I am not bashing the internet. I love Google. The only thing I have to say is that google has changed the way we think. Before google was more than a learning device, usually you would find a dictionary or a thesaurus to look up definitions.

I am Gen Z (I'll be nineteen soon) and I was raised with a home computer, but my mom insisted I use the encyclopedias first. When you go through the process of looking up the letter, then the cross section, blah de blah, it creates a kind of 'deep processing' where you get the context, definition, and application of the word/subject you're looking up.

When you google a word/subject, it gives you a surface level summary and a definition. Hell, you don't even have to spell the word right, it'll do it for you.

This also creates the spelling issues of most adults. With autocorrect and voice-to-text, spelling isn't a priority. I think my grade is the last that even did spelling sheets.

This is scary, personally.

I think in the future, educated positions will be replaced with AI and most people will fill in the jobs that don't require more than a high school diploma. In America, some states don't require a Master's to teach.

I suppose medicine, technology, science etc would still advance if we had AI to do it for us, but I can't imagine living as a species without the ability to think maturely. The dependence on everything else would be disturbing.

anyway thanks for listening xox

[shefightslikeagirl]

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TBT - Emilie Autumn for Ugly Scene Media, March 2011

[survivalist-anon]

Log 22: Tools of the Trade

While the others were being prepared for their battle against El Nino; Wick, Moors and Tulio were headed back to Gus' bunker for extra help.

Driving out into the desert range, it was a race against time, the team weren't sure what was to happen, but they had to react quickly.

For it could already be too late.

"Gus should have some idea how to break into the place. Based on my readings, the facility is six stories deep. Something tells me it ain't for the public either, also.....they mentioned something about this "El Nino" guy, something tells me he's the main attraction to whomever is behind all this", Moors explained.

"Wait, I thought El Nino's fights were at South Point, how the hell could he not be for the public? I see his ads all the time.", Tulio asked as he was looking around the back of the truck, wondering why would they need so much tech.

Wick had been formulating what...or ...who El'Nino was. He was nearly unconscious when he had heard of this name, but he had heard it being muttered by the mystery buyer. "There's a likely chance it's an actor. One for the public, one for the intended audience.".

Tulio was putting two and two together, "oooooh like some illegal fighting ring? Oh that makes sense, back in Mexico city a few years back, Lucha Libre was banned for some time, it when underground and became an illegal fighting competition. Then after it had gotten popular again, it wasn't banned anymore.".

"hmmm ....I'm not sure if it's like that, but it's definitely underground.", Moors stops the truck at the same abandoned gas pump, rolled down his window to clown. "Gus! You there buddy?".

The intercom turned on with a sputtering crackle, "Welcome back to Gassy Gus's Gas Pump! I'll be right there!", as the intercom turned off, Gus happily hobbled out of the men's room this time. "Well by Orson Welles! Moors you're back! How'd it go?", giving gleeful bangs on the sides of truck. "Eh funny, you got enough gas?".

"Gus! We need some of your.... experience....you still have that drilling equipment?", Moors asked with a sly grin.

Gus' face stretched into a manic smile, "OOOH BOY HOWDY I DO, where too.", Moors in the past has employed Gus for a verity of covert excavation projects, considering one of the best types of jobs Gus had in his youth was a coal miner and a non-certified geologist. "Oooooh I can smell the iron rich, quartz deposits already.", rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Now Gus, we need the big guns. We have no idea what could be down in this place. I recon it's security is in-between government level and that Security Containm-", Gus sticks his hand out.

"Say no more! Now let me gather the gear and get coordinates and pinpoint the best spot!", Moors was more then welcome to oblige to giving Gus some of the information from last night.

Wick, getting understandably impatient, decided to go up to the front seat and talk to Gus himself, "Excuse me G-", Wick peered out from Moors' side, as he showed his face Gus pointed at him in surprise.

"Gah! Moors I didn't know you knew the Grey from Sector 17-M! It's a pleasure to finally welcome you to Earth great ones!", Gus bowed in a Y stance.

Moors wasn't too surprised about this and turned to Wick, expressionless and confused. "Ugh oh yeah I never told you Gus is a "Intergalactic Enthusiast", he loves anything from ugh...outer space...he thinks your this thing.", he takes out one of his car key charms and shows a little iconic black eyed, green alien.

Wick, looking at the charm with absolute apathy, "....he thinks I'm a Xenos?", he looks to Moors giving an awkward smile.

"yeah, just please go with it.", continuing the smile.

"Fine, Gus we genuinely need to hasten this mission. There is not just our comrades, but another civilian likely involved. We need to be careful and swift, for this could spell disaster for her.", Wick looked at him sternly.

Gus looked back at Wick, "...her?", and gave a hard salute, "Than I shall help rescue your mate too!", Moors was doing everything in his power to hold back the laughter while Wick had shown some semblance of color to his usually pale complexion with a flooded blush for the first time in his life.

"Well no time to waste! Come on down to my secret abode!", he ran back into the men's room, activating a secret underground ramp to his own abandoned government bunker.

"Hehehe, you're all going to love this.", Moors chuckled.

Tulio, who has been watching this from the back of the truck, was astounding. "Wick? You're an alien? I thought you did like...body mods or something.", he asked gingerly, only realizing the insane reality of this situation.

"..... we're from 'outspace', but we're not 'aliens'... we're just as human as you are.", Wick answered begrudgingly.

Tulio for the first time actually took a good hard look at Wick and Moors, contemplating what Wick has said, "well....you guys seem alot more of something else. Most people don't look like you guys.", he hesitantly spoke.

Those words stuck with the two marines, Tulio was not wrong to say what he said, his observation wasn't inaccurate either. Giving in considering that Sleen had at some point called the others 'Steers', and all the stares from strangers where ever they went. It was clear as Astartes, they were much more then men, they were something else alongside that 'man', something mortals on Earth do not consider normal to their standards.

Whether it is something to marvel, or something to exploit....is completely dependent on the situation.

Slowly driving down the ramp, lights started to illuminate the runway, showing a set of dusty, unused military jeeps.

As they parked the car, Tulio and Wick stepped out from the back truck.

"Hold it!", Gus croaked. He took out a lead pipe with wires and a light attached to it, waved around Tulio and Wick. "Hmmm.....gramifier is not picking anything up. Good.", he than takes out a gypsum rod. Waving it around. "Vibes check out". Gives a stern look at both, then a bright smile. "Welcome, to Casa de Gus! Where the finest of equipment can be hehe, redistributed for any intergalactic purposes!".

Tulio was a bit stunned at all of this, "ay... gringo loco.". He quietly grumbled to himself.

The four walked down to a large hanger full of hi tech government issued weaponry, vehicles, Gus's collection of space memorabilia, one rocket booster that had been unceremoniously removed from a crash site, and a small living space for Gus.

"Bruh, you call this a bunker?! This is like, a secret lair or something. Are you like...an ex-fed or something?", Tulio looked around in amazement.

Moors was browsing for anything new Gus could have taken in the recent decade, "hmmm ...Gus, where did you get this?", pointing at a very suspicious container with a familiar label that was commonly found on much of Fort Dorn's stolen vehicles.

Gus jingled his way to Moors, "hmmm....oh yes, got this baby back in '09, those secret organization guys again....they were chasing the running headlights I told you 'bout. You know...the ones with legs.", Gus was referring to the rumors of unknown creature with what people have claimed is one large luminous eye, mimicking a car headlight. Obviously, Moors didn't believe in such creatures.

"oh...you do realize they probably want this thing back right?", Moors warns him.

"...hmmm...nah I'll keep it, anyway! Here's what y'all need!", Gus leads the trio to a large shelf of items, "I hope y'all brought your armor too. Some of these additions will be perfect! Drills, disrupter signals, the ever important rubber duck and this!", Gus picks up what looks like a small speaker, "I call it, the "Siren", play this lil'beaut and it will blast someone's ear drums.".

Wick was examining some of the items, most of which were stolen from the Government, others likely from experimental labs, "....we will likely only need to break in...have heavy cover and a distraction....Tulio, you will be on integral part of this mission.", he turned to Tulio with confidence.

Tulio, although way in over his head in this situation, was more than happy to assist. "You can count on me homes.", he says with a grin.

"well, I'm not certain if I'll need.my armor, speaking of which where's your armor Wick? I doubt you took a flight here....", Moors asked.

Wick had nearly forgotten about his armor, he had left it at the Air Force hanger near the city. "....oh...Moors, thanks for reminding me.....how about we also get these bottom feeders in a....predicament with the government?", he looked at Moors.

"I mean we can, but I'm certain they'll track us down.", Moors responded.

Gus chuckled a little, "nah, I have the tools of the trade, I know a few whistle blowers who will do a fine job at diverting attention away from y'all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the underground holding facility, the others were contemplating their escape. Meanwhile, Sten was pawing this "Big Joe", for more information.

"Big Joe, I am curious as to how long have you been here....it must have been for some time I assume?", although there was no point in looking up at the ceiling of his cell, it was better than activating the bars.

"yeah, I've been for a bit. Funny enough, this is the second time I've been trapped here....the first place really bummed me out.", Joe's cadence was more casual than most of the other Astartes. His diction even felt like it was loosened.

Tilting his head, he wondered what was he referring to, "....was it another government facility?", he didn't know if this Joe was another psyker like him. So he did not want to force himself into his mind.

"Yeah, but this place was WAY more lock tight. Imagine being treated like an animal that can talk or something....they did some weird tests. At first I didn't understand what they were saying, than they thought me to speak their dialect of Gothic, then English....that's where things got interesting....there so many interviews and questions.... medical examinations.....then....they started to send these orange cladded fellows with weapons.... obviously I killed them...it's not like I was going to let them get the upper hand....than....I met one of their scientists....what a doll......miss her a lot really...", Joe reminisced on that thought for a while. "...we sort of began meeting secretly...til they cought us. I never her saw again after that ....but it's weird because I could tell she was still there! She was still in that place, but something about her biological began to change, I could smell it. Lucky for me the place wasn't completely airtight. It was all that kept me going for a little....than.... something happened...", he stopped for a few seconds.

It was clear to Sten something about Joe's story felt empty, it seems Joe hadn't disclosed one important detail. "...What Chapter do you belong to, Joe?".

There was a pregnant pause, something that Sten had become wary of.

".......why.", Joe replied dryly.

"You should be comfortable with tell us....", while Sten remarked, he had felt that there was something he could do to find out for himself, specifically on his belt.

His belt buckle was a wide, military standard, silver colored buckle. He quietly took it off to shine it as much as he could, the reflection wasn't perfect, but it would suffice.

He stuck the buckle at an angle that Joe wouldn't notice, he could see that Joe wasn't wearing any armor, he had his back turned facing a mirror, his back not only had scars from previous fights in the facility, but also telltale signs of medical experimentation. Joe hadn't noticed the small mirror in the corner of cell peaking.

Unfortunately, someone else had. On the other side of the holding blocks, a security room was watching the Marines in the holding cell.

The security guard lazily sees Sten holding something. "Oh geez, I'm gonna have to take that from him aren't I...", he lumbered out of his seat and headed straight to the cells.

"Hey! You there! Whats you got there!?", the security guard casually pointed his gun at Sten, he knew that conventional bullets wouldn't actually hurt these guys. It was comparable to rubber bullets.

Joe had turned around out of curiosity, Sten could see Joe's face for the first time.

He had a large scar across his neck, as if something big had attempted to bite down. Dark brown hair, closer to black than it was brown. And crimson red eyes.

"Hmm...", Sten drank in as much of the visage as possible.

"HEY! Beardo! Quit that!", the guard took out a cattle prod and stuck right into Sten's arm.

A strong shock flowed through his shoulders, "RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!", what sounded like a roar reverberated.

The chaos Marines on the opposite side aroused with excitement. Hollering and growling.

"Sten! What's happening?!", Cahrilo shout, "HEY knock it off!".

The guard has held his position and completely ignored them. Suddenly, Joe reached out, grabbed the guard by the arm.... crushing his forearm in the process. Lifted him to the bars.

Electrocuting him as Joe pulled the guard into the bars.

The screams echoed, the chaos Marines cheering.

The cattle prod had fell on the floor, thinking quickly, Sten recovered what he had left of the shock to quickly get the prod.

Hiding it in his pants.

Joe dropped the guard's corpse, and went on with what he was doing. "You better behave now bud. Or you'll end up like you friend over there.", referring to Bilhard.

Sten quickly got up.

As the foot steps of the other guards come in, pointing their guns at the Marines. One of the guards, likely a mercenary, looked out at the partly chared corpse. "Uuugh, looks like Quincy finally got cocky. Clean it up before the boss gets here. Alright which one of you guys did it?"

The lack of empathy for his fallen comrade was a surprise to the others, he had acted like as if this was a regular occurrence.

"come on guys .....be honest or I'm checking the cameras....and the "buzzer" is in the camera room....yah honestly want to shock you guys or be good boys and say what happened...", the guard instructed callously. "I'm not mad, but my boss will be."

Sten had looked over his shoulder, hoping the guards hadn't seen him steal the prod.

"Ugh it was me Frank.", Joe loomed over the guard in the cell above. "My buddy down here wanted to shake hands, I was about to than the guard just came over.... probably jumped the gun....it self defense on my comrade's behalf.", Joe gave an innocent grin.

The guard looked over at the corpse, than to Sten. "Hmf...fine I'll bite.....I don't want no funny business you hears?", he turned away and helped the other guards clean up the body.

The others were stunned, Toke looked at them drag the body to the other side of the room.

"Which one of you sick bastards wants him?", he banged on one of the cells.

The chaos Marines all began to fight over who got the corpse. Gnashing and attempting to claw at the corpse. No matter how pointless it was.

"YOUR COMRADE JUST DIED. You're just going to feed his body to the corrupted lot?", Toke protested to the guard.

The guard looked back at Toke, "Look, it's not we actually want to be here....yous honestly think we would have taken this shit job for shit pay? Naw, it's too much money to pass up....", he looked to one of the Black Legion Marines, since that one hadn't begged for his food he could have the corpse. As the guard used a code to heavily magnetize the chains on the marine's legs and wrists, more signifying to simply step back for the sake of animalistic obedience, he dragged his coworker's body to the middle, closed the cell behind him and watched as the chaos marine viciously tore into the chest of the corpses, stuffing chunks into his face, chest and pauldron.

".....yet it always feels like it ain't enough money in the world to get someone for tolerate this...."

End of log 22

@kit-williams @barn-anon @egrets-not-regrets @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @walking-natural-disaster @starfrost740 @squishyowl @sleepyfan-blog @lawnchair86

[meurol]

Drinking tea, or whatever. Relaxing time!

[thestarkcollective]

short poem! no trigger warnings

Sometimes I wish,

as the sun sets low.

To be alone,

with just the tall trees.

The sandy beach,

the lapping ocean.

The long forgotten asphalt,

hasn’t seen cars in years.

To be the only one,

left alive.

Vines curling their way,

around buildings.

Grass overgrown,

making my feet so itchy.

The wind ruffles my hair,

as animals scurry and talk.

Not one other like me,

anywhere else.

The whole wide world.

Blue skies,

glimmering stars.

Icy deserts,

warm hot ones too.

Never hungry,

never thirsty.

No whispers,

catering just to me.

No staring eyes,

with none of their hate.

Sometimes I wish,

I’d be the only one alive.

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

Corpse of My Brother

Summary:

"I have been watching my brother, even though he does not like that name. He's been more upset than usual. I just wanted to help, but he never let me. He just threatens to hurt me like always, but lately he can't even get through his usual speeches without choking and glitching. It looks like it hurts!

"I am worried about him. I finally had a good excuse to look for him! Mirage and I are making a cookbook, so I was going to ask him if he knew any good recipes to include. I planned to ask him why he's been acting so damaged lately, and see if I might be able to help. But when I went looking in all the usual places he hides… He wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere. I couldn't find him.

"I heard his voice, but when I turned the corner to wave to him, I saw someone I don't know."

…

This is a character piece formed via my own pain. I turned it into an interaction that I could imagine happening.

---------

"Oh! Hello new friend! You sound like—”

“Shut it.” His voice sounds just like him.

The blue MRVN approaches the new face gingerly, bouncing with each step. Maybe Revenant has a secret brother, which means—

Pathfinder is giddy, what if he had two brothers just like Revenant? Sure, he's a little mean, but that's just how big brothers are!

“What’s your name?!” Pathfinder’s vocalizations pitch with excitement, facing the back of the new, massive figure before him. If he's in the Apex facility, he must be new! Maybe he needs a friend to show him around?

The figure’s head kicks up visibly from the back, as if in surprise. The black hood turns to glance at the MRVN behind him.

This machine has a smooth, white face with few notches. He looks brand new with no scuffs or faded materials, sporting a massive red smile and jaw. The solid yellow eyes shift just a little to lock onto Pathfinder's red bulb, revealing a honeycomb pattern to the filter. He has a nasal cavity just like Revenant, and red lines traveling up from his eyes instead of down. He even has a beautiful notch of red on his forehead, barely showing from under the cloth hood.

“Wow!” Pathfinder quietly expresses aloud, slightly moving in his direction as if yearning for a closer look.

The figure growls, turning away rapidly at the expression, leaving nothing but an oppressive array of long antenna and stabilizers jutting out from his shoulders towards Pathfinder.

“It's me.” He says in Revenant's voice.

“That's a strange name, but nice to meet—”

“No, it's me. Revenant. Can't you hear me, you useless amalgamation of scraps?!” He spins back around, angry.

Just like Revenant would.

But that's not him.

A moment of confusion washes over Pathfinder.

“Oh, is this one of your new, fancy shells? I haven't seen this one before!” Pathfinder bounces back. Revenant almost never uses the fancy ones, this one is so different he almost didn't recognize him!

“No. It's not.” The smile hangs downward.

“What—do you mean…?” Pathfinder’s vocals trail off a little quieter. The hallways have long since gone quiet as the evening becomes old. Even though there's no one around, something feels sour in the air.

Something isn't right.

“I'm stuck.” The smile makes a cracking sound, like porcelain under stress. “I can't get out of this… thing.”

Pathfinder reels back just a little. This body is big. Could his normal body really fit inside?

Something makes a cracking sound ever so slightly behind the smile.

“Could I help?” Pathfinder cautiously asks, knowing full well the explosive anger will probably immediately follow.

But…

It doesn't. There's no outburst. No abuse. No rage. No nothing.

The whole unfamiliar chassis tenses up, just like humans when they're in pain, but then it all loosens. Every joint becomes lax, but they don't fight gravity. They hang, like the effort to fight their own weight is too much.

Finally, a resigned sigh can be heard.

“No, you can't.” He says.

This isn't Revenant.

Revenant doesn't look like this. Revenant doesn't smile. Revenant doesn't pass up an opportunity to be mean or yell at him like this.

His hands look the same. His colors are close. His build is so similar. He still has the same voice.

Then why does it feel so wrong?

“When are you going back?” Pathfinder’s voice quakes just a little in its quiet concern.

The body tenses again.

“I'm never going back.” He splays open his palm, looking into the familiar red leather.

Pathfinder feels something deep within himself shift. This is wrong. That can't be right. He'll never go back? He can just swap chassis, can't he?

“But—!”

“Pathfinder, shut up. I have enough problems to deal with that aren't…” his hands make a juggling motion, as if trying to conjure up the right word. “You. I don't have the bandwidth to deal with you.”

Pathfinder feels his insides twist. That's not how Revenant would act. Revenant always had time for him. Revenant was always happy to be mean. He wouldn't say that. He wouldn't be calm about it either. Why does he sound like that? Why isn't he mean?

Where is the soul?

Didn't he say he was human?

“Why are you talking to me like that?!” Pathfinder's vocalizer shifts octaves on accident. It sounds like when humans cry.

“I mean I don't have time for you. If it isn't obvious, I have bigger problems than your misguided naïvety at the moment.” Revenant growls, keeping control better than he ever had before, despite himself. “Go bother someone else. Anyone else.”

Pathfinder feels his processors hurt. That's not a happy emotion. That's the opposite. This isn't even sad, this is worse than sad.

“Why won't you yell at me?!” Pathfinder’s emotive screen turns black, unable to keep up. “Who are you?! You're not Revenant! My brother would—”

“I was never your brother, Pathfinder.” It speaks with his voice, but it's using it all wrong.

“No! Go back into your other body! The pretty red one, with the pretty red makeup and the yellow eyes!” Pathfinder doesn't understand what he feels, but he needs to find Revenant fast. Pain is awful, and the sooner he sees Revenant again, the sooner it will go away.

“I can't.”

“Yes you can! You could before! Why can't you now?!” Pathfinder tries to stop his vocalizer from getting louder, but he can't help it. Is this what yelling feels like? He doesn't like it.

It locks eyes with Pathfinder, as if seeing something familiar, but Pathfinder takes a step back.

This is bad. This hurts. This is wrong. This isn't—

“It’s a corpse now. Stop crying about it.” Revenant's calm but cruel voice echoes loudly in the hallway.

Pathfinder pulls his hands to his head. Is this crying? Why does it hurt? Is it because he doesn't have tears to shed? Is this what it feels like, to cry with no tears? Why is it so painful? Why can't Revenant go back?

Why did he have to die like this?

He always came back before, why can't he go back again?

“Stop crying, it's not even your problem.” The figure snarls, shrugging with what little defiance remains in his defeated stance. Revenant turns away, walking away slowly.

“Stop!” Pathfinder instinctively reaches out towards the twisted shadow of Revenant. “Don't… Don't leave me!”

Revenant ignores the request, continuing to trudge away soulessly. What happened? When did this happen? Why was there no warning?

Revenant pauses, now having moved well out of reach, letting his head pivot for just a moment so his voice can reach Pathfinder one last time.

“Your brother's dead. Now leave me alone.”

It hits Pathfinder all at once. Something is wrong, forever. Nothing will ever truly be fixed. Maybe it will improve over time, but this won't ever heal. The pretty red scarf; the scary, scuffed up mask; the tearful makeup; the bright yellow eyes… It's all gone. Forever.

Everything is awful, everything is wrong, nothing can fix it, but nobody else seems to realize it.

Not even him.

Pathfinder feels his joints tense up.

Grief.

This is how Mirage talks about his mom when she doesn't remember him. This is how Valkyrie withers when she holds her father's helmet. This is how Bloodhound howls Boone’s name a little louder than all the others.

It's awful.

Is this what humans feel?

There is no body to bury, no memento to hold onto, no opportunity to say goodbye.

And yet the corpse just walks away.

[godihatethiswebsite]

In the year of our lord, Cthulu, 2024, I just read a fic with an NSFW warning on it that contained the word *lemon*

What in the Quizilla—

[peace-and-light-poetry]

Pills & Bleach

If she had a gun, She'd just shoot herself

If she had razors, She'd quietly bleed out

If she didn't have faith, She'd have already brought the poison

She sat, idly Knowing her knives aren't far

Neither were her pills Or her cleaning supplies

She's never acted on them But the idea is present

And she wonders…..

[eversea143]

Youtube- YT no. No! I'm not-

...

Please, I know it's well meant but I seriously just want to look up songs featuring 'I want to live'. I'm not suicidal!

*sigh* Guess i'm doing it via google

[amberjazmyn]

instagram 🫶

pairing : logan sargeant x fem!reader

summary : a series of instagram posts from users logansargeant and yourusername.

warnings :  legit none, just some fluffy couple instagram posts

a/n : i just wanted to get another chapter out so i thought this would be a cute idea but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know as i am struggling to come up with original ideas rather than recycling older chapters. 

liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, kellypiquet and 89,4k others

logansargeant who needs wine tastings when i have my own private tastings every day👅

view all 200 comments

yourusername little logan sargeant has gone rouge y'all

logansargeant yourusername you like it

charlesleclerc i don't know if i should be proud or slightly horrified...

logansargeant charlesleclerc honestly, this isn't my proudest moment right now so i don't mind if you say that you're horrified

oscarpiastri who knew little logan was a kinky bastard?

logansargeant oscarpiastri not you clearly!

maxverstappen1 i'm mildly amused by this and i feel ashamed of myself

logansargeant maxverstappen1 honestly same tbh

danielricciardo umm...need i remind you there are children on instagram...

logansargeant danielricciardo yeah landonorris but he hasn't arrived yet so we're fine

landonorris danielricciardo logansargeant wtf is wrong with you logan?

kellypiquet gorgeous couple 

logansargeant kellypiquet i'm glad you think that at least kelly!

liked by logansargeant, maxverstappen1, kellypiquet, oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes and 76.5k others

yourusername aunty y.n duties with the one and only little lola🤍

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logansargeant you and lola are just adorable together babe. your sister and brother-in-law make amazing kids

maxverstappen1 and i thought lola was a mini mummy but, she's more of a mini you, y.n 🤍

kellypiquet this is such a sweet photo, y.n. it's obvious at how much lola absolutely adores you and is always excited to hang out with you 🤍

oscarpiastri one of the best aunties in the world

francisca.cgomes am loving the matchy match you two! 

liked by logansargeant, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, williamsracing, francisca.cgomes and 99.9k others

yourusername hey, logs, should we get married logansargeant?

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logansargeant i'm so pumped baby!

danielricciardo hold up, pause, what now? i think i may have missed a couple of chapters!

maxverstappen1 hold the fucking phone, what?!

oscarpiastri are you guys serious? cause if you're joking i'm gonna be so mad!

charlesleclerc it's happening, stay calm everybody!

williamsracing our first f1 grid wedding!

francisca.cgomes omg what?

liked by yourusername and 2,350k others

logansargeant y.n y.m.n y.l.n you are the love of my life and my soulmate.

you are the only person that i've loved this seriously like this. i am in love with you so much that i think half of my brain is actually just images of you and the future we're going to have together. you are my favourite person in the entire world and the best distraction when my mind gets too busy. you always know how to make me happy and laugh. but you still remind me that i don't have to be happy all the time. you always remind me that i can cry, get anxious, get scared, etc. you never force me to always be one thing or feel one thing all the time. i knew the day i first met you before we reunited in the paddock at the miami grand prix that i was going to fall in love with you and one day marry you. you take care of me in your own way and it's now the only way i know how to be taken care of. you have your own special way of calming me down, treating me, loving me and it's the perfect way for me and only me. i love the way your eyes and nose crinkle up when you smile or have a laughing fit. i love how you are so good at your job as an activist and the many other things you manage to do. i love the way you pull your hair back with one of the many colourful claw clips that you have an extensive collection of. i love how you try to blow strands of hair from you face when i mess it up on purpose. i love how you distract me when we're supposed to be filming a take. i love how, even though you find it difficult at first, you always maintain eye contact when you're in conversation with somebody you don't know. i love how kind you always are to everyone, no matter if they were rude or if they were nice. i love how positive you are. i love how you take care of your nieces and nephews, i can already see what an amazing mother you'd be to our future children. i love how fearless you are. i love the way you always steal my clothes. i love the way you always wear the same colours that i do even if it's on purpose or unintentionally when it's not my own clothes you're wearing, especially during grand prixs. i love how you always have to wear at least one of my own clothing items (mostly my team polo) in your outfit when you're with me during a race because it truly does look better on you always. i love the way you always defend me when anyone feels the need to say things that you don't like as though they expect you to be disgusted by me. i love how you aren't embarrassed by the weird things i do. i love how you love me for me and nothing else.

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yourusername i love you even more logie and i cannot wait to marry you, you gorgeous man

danielricciardo you guys were serious! congratu-fucking-lations!

maxverstappen1 my phone is held and i am shocked! congrats you two

oscarpiastri you were very serious and i am so happy! congratulations you two

charlesleclerc i am so happy that you guys were serious! congratulations my lovelies

williamsracing congratulations logan and y.n!

francisca.cgomes i'm screaming!!!!

kellypiquet omg this is so exciting! congratulations logan and y.n!

fin

this was so much fun to write again but for logan sargeant and now, part two will be up shortly as well!

[maelstroem-of-love]

confession booth I guess (warning: it's kind of a bummer)

if you follow my sideblogs you've probably heard about this, but I've recently lost touch with all the friends I thought I had (except for one, god bless him, and I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread there, too). Not gonna lie, it's real bad. It's “playing stardew valley for five hours straight” bad and “crying at night” bad. the worst part is that there isn't really a reason for that because you know, if I had done something shitty it would've been understandable, and I would have had a lesson to learn (don't be a jerk). but...no. everyone just gradually lost interest in me until I realized I'm pretty much back to the way it was on the day I was born: with my family. And they...well. Let's just say they don't know some important things about me. For good reason.

I know I'm still young. I still feel way, way, way too old to be starting from scratch, especially since everyone around me seems to have no problem retaining friends while I'm writing a vent post on Tumblr.

So I guess this is a reminder that if you're lucky enough to have friends, remember to send them a meme today, or ask how they're doing, or invite them to hang out even if you're sure they can't. Friendship takes work and baby, you gotta put it in. Maybe that one person you think is rad as hell and definitely doesn't have problems socializing only has you. And just...be kind, okay? Be full of love for thyself and thy neighbor, as they say. Make it one less crying tumblr nerd.

[sinkllr]

V O I D. 𖤐 HE / IT.

twenty-three years old. dom lean. journal dedicated to thoughts i have about my obsessions. periods of inactivity. system persecutor. wolf dad bf. originated from nsfwtwt.

BE AWARE . . . i have difficulty maintaining conversations & suffer from gaps in my memory.

I AM YOUR LOVER & I AM YOUR JAILOR.

[yumikus-guide]

I think I’m funny at least ✨))

((Made: 2024 by me the artist from hell also known Juni O’Leary))