#NONONONO THIS IS ILLEGAL

[whyse7vn]

MISS YOU -

[ !fwb jhs pjm ksj jjk kth x reader ]

HOSEOK -

hobi: hi

y/n: ur texting me before 5pm should i be scared rn….

hobi: i miss you

y/n: oh i’m terrified

hobi: can’t a man simply miss his girl???

y/n: i’m shaking in my boots dni

and ur girl???

shut the hell up

hobi: i miss you

y/n: STOP

this is really weird

hobi: ok i’m never being nice again

y/n: 💜

hobi: i lied i’m just a nice guy at heart

i miss you my pretty little petal 💘

y/n: this is a new low for you hoseok

hobi: i told you about saying my name

i’m trying to be sweet to u rn

not horny

y/n: our relationship is literally built on being horny wtf are you talking about

hobi: do you miss me

say yes if yes and no if yes

y/n: ok that is real unfair

hobi: yes or no

no jungkook

y/n: speaking to you before 5pm truly feels illegal

hobi: i talk to you before 5pm

like all the time

don’t make me look bad rn

we literally work together

i talk to you all the time???????????

y/n: u sound like ur trying to convince urself you talk to me

hobi: I LITERALLY DO STOP LYING

y/n: ok yeah you do but you only message me to fuck after 5pm

hobi: i never said i wanted to fuck?????

y/n: so you don’t want to fuck??

hobi: ok yes

y/n: knew it

hobi: yeah whatever

BUT

i just thought i would try and be a sweet loving man for u

y/n: well don’t do it again

freaked me the hell out

hobi: u wanna be my girlfriend so bad i’m gonna throw up

y/n: ???????????

hobi: ok sorry

y/n: freak

hobi: miss ur pussy on my face

y/n: i’m literally blocking you

ur so gross

hobi: ok wtf

how do i win in this life

cant be sweet

cant be explicit

HOW DO I WIN

y/n: ask to fuck nicely

hobi: may i please indulge in the sexual intercourse with you at 1400 hours

y/n: and normally

hobi: can we fuck in like 20 minutes

in my studio preferably

pls and thanks 😝

y/n: sure

hobi: TURN UPPP

that was really easy

y/n: did you just call me easy?????????

hobi: NO??????

y/n: you definitely did

hobi: NONONONO

i’m just saying like normally i’d have to beg a little

ur kind of a sadist like that

anyways

you didn’t make me beg today

dare i say

dot dot dot

ur stating to fall in love with me wink

y/n: did you just type out dot dot dot and wink???

hobi: say yes if yes and no if yes

y/n: stop breathing

hobi: hard

and no not by shinee

this one is by hoseok

but WAIT

(no dino)

if we think about it is by you

hard by you

wink lol

y/n: ur so fucking lame it’s unreal

JIMIN -

jimin: miss you

wanna kiss you so bad

y/n: personally i wanna fuck

jimin: …

is it really that hard to act like you were loved as a child for even a little bit

y/n: all i’m hearing rn is you don’t want to fuck

ur LAME

jimin: do you not miss me back?

y/n: next question

jimin: do you miss me???

y/n: purple

pull ur dick out

jimin: i’m getting real upset

what if i cry rn

y/n: lowkey

jimin: stop talking

y/n: it WOULD be real hot

jimin: …

i’m trying to be cute and love on u rn

y/n: gross

love on ur girlfriend or something

jimin: ur my girlfriend

y/n: i’m ur girl friend you fuck sometimes

the big space was on purpose btw

if you didn’t get that

jimin: ok fuck????

i get it

so like do you fr not miss me back or what?

y/n: for someone who said they get it ur not acting like you get it

jimin: i get it

y/n: get a guitar

jimin: what

y/n: riize

jimin: rise?

y/n: talk saxy

jimin: tf are u talking about

y/n: ur so annoying

jimin: can you say you miss me back

y/n: no!

jimin: i’m gonna stop fucking you

y/n: ok

jimin: ok i lied but were you scared for a second

y/n: not really

jimin: ok idc

y/n: who is ur riize bais

mine is shotaro

he’s a real cuite

jimin: mine is i miss you jimin

y/n: i’m not saying i miss you

jimin: why not?

y/n: why?

jimin: because you miss me???

y/n: i saw you last week??

jimin: LAST WEEK

oh my chest hurts

the walls are caving in

y/n: are you done

jimin: should we just make it official

y/n: if ur this annoying and a fuck buddy i don’t even want to imagine what ur like as a boyfriend

jimin: better

y/n: i doubt that!

jimin: let’s find out challenge go!!!!

y/n: i do NOT consent

jimin: hello girlfriend do you miss me like i miss you????????

y/n: i’m gonna start fucking joon

jimin: say sike

that’s not funny at ALL

say sike rn

HELLO???????????????

SAY SIKE Y/N

IM SO FR SAY SIKE

SEOKJIN -

jin: miss you

y/n: ☠️☠️☠️☠️

just send that to jimin

he’s laughing at you

jin: wtf is ur problem

y/n: why are you messaging me during works hours??

jin: cuz i missed you???

yeah i said missed

not miss

cuz fuck you

you made me look weak in front of jimin

you bitch

y/n: what if i said i missed you too?

jin: ofc you miss me

that was a given

i was just letting you know the feeling was mutual

y/n: that’s crazy cuz i don’t miss you at all

jin: ????

are you proposing to me rn?

y/n: ?get a grip

jin: need you here rn

y/n: i’m trying to work

jin: ok?? idk what that has to do with anything

y/n: i’m working

jin: are we role playing??

y/n: no.

jin: omg i was just kidding lighten up a bit geez

pretty girl i miss you

no even joking

y/n: pic with tears or ur lying

jin: you make missing you not fun at all

y/n: is missing ur fuck buddy supposed to be fun??

jin: we’re still calling it that?

y/n: ??

jin: it’s fine

i’ll indulge you and ur games

y/n: LMAOOO ???

ur age is really showing

talking like a fucking vampire

jin: yeah yeah

what time do you finish

y/n: in exactly an hour

jin: i’ll pick you up

will bring the nice car and everything

y/n: all ur cars are nice

jin: i know

just wanted to hear you say it

y/n: eat the rich i say!

jin: i’ll let you eat me

let’s go bite for bite

y/n: jimin would have a field day with that

jin: i don’t want to talk about jimin while i’m seducing you thank you very much

y/n: ur seducing me??

jin: yeah

you couldn’t tell?

y/n: no?

jin: ur lying

y/n: maybe i am

jin: that’s what i thought

y/n: maybe i’m not

jin: you are

y/n: but what if i’m not

jin: no you are

y/n: am i?

jin: shut up

it’s like nice when you just don’t talk

and stop pretending you hate me

y/n: hate is a strong word

jin: so you love me?

y/n: love is a strong word

jin: fuck you

y/n: YOU WISH

jin: not true

y/n: IS THAT YOU OUTSIDE??????

WAVE IF THATS YOU

OH MYGOD YOU WAVED

THATS YOU

UR OUTSIDE

jin: i’m outside

y/n: ??????? HOW

jin: god knows

y/n: i said an hour

jin: an hour is too long dont you think :/

y/n: UGH

men

YOU MAKE ME SICK

give me 5

JUNGKOOK -

jk: come see me

y/n: ??LMAOOSODOFIDIFJFNDJJDJDJDJ SJDJDJDNDNDNDNNDNFNFNFNFNFNNDNDNFNFNFNFNFNFNFNNFNFNFNFNNFCJ

jk: ok i’m sorry i though you would find that really sexy and cool

y/n: that was really funny

imagined you saying that in real life LMSKDKKDF

THATS SO FUNNT WLMSKDODOFIFJFJFJFJFN

wow ur really silly

jk: i miss you

like so much

y/n: do you miss ME or do you miss fucking me

jk: is this a trick question?

y/n: not at all

jk: both?

y/n: are you sure

cuz you don’t sound sure

jk: it’s a trick question

y/n: i’m telling you it’s not

jk: if i say i miss fucking you ur gonna think i’m just using you for sex and that i’m horrible person that should die

but if i say i miss you ur gonna think i’m a stupid idiot loser who can’t control his feelings and should kill himself

y/n: is this u projecting rn??

jk: can i come over please

y/n: answer my question first

jk: i did !!!! i said both

y/n: you said

“both?”

jk: ok now i’m saying both!!!!

y/n: your just saying cuz you want to come over

so you miss fucking me

i see

jk: NO

well yes

bUT LIKE NOT JUST THAT I MISS YOu

LIKE YOU

as A PERSON

your smile

your voice

your like overall presence???

y/n: why is everything a question with you

stand on business kook

jk: you make me second guess everything

IM SO NERVOUS LEAVE ME ALONE

y/n: okay let’s not shout now

jk: ok i’m sorry

i’m really sorry

hey i’m sorry

y/n: guys i think he’s sorry

jk: guys??? who is there? don’t tell me it’s yoongi he’ll bully me

y/n: you want come over?

jk: so bad

y/n: ok

but you have to pay me in like

JUNGKOOK WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST SENT ME 50K???/!/£:’dn

jk: you said pay

y/n: I DIDN’T FINISH MY SENTENCE??????

jk: oh

my fault

i’m sorry

i’m really sorry

you can keep it

for rainy day or something?????

carry on what were you saying??

i didn’t mean to interrupt

y/n: wow ok um i was just gonna say tteokbokki or something

jk: with cheese right?

you like it with cheese yeah?

i’ll come over and make it for you i’ll head to the store rn

anything else???

y/n: ummm no

jk: ok i can start making my way right?

y/n: yeah…

jk: cool ok see you soon

y/n: cool

cool wow yeah cool

that’s cool

wtf just happened

TAEHYUNG -

14 miss calls from tae

tae: throbbing rn

y/n: it’s 3 am what the fuck is wrong with you

and throbbing?????????

you

nvm

i don’t even want to finish my sentence

jump of a bridge cut ur dick off idc leave me alone

tae: i miss you

y/n: no shit

tae: told my parents were engaged

y/n: convinced all you do all day is pop percs and take punches to the head

tae: you can give me head

i miss ur head

and you ig

but like ur head 😍

meow

y/n: meow???

tae: MEOWWWWWWWW

y/n: what do you want??

it’s 3 am

tae: head???

like

are you stupid

wasn’t i clear enough

ACTUALLY NO WAIT

i miss you🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

what did nct say that one time

girl your my favourite 😋😍💗

y/n: i should call mark

tae: OMG YEAH

you think he’ll sing a bit for us

GIRL UR MY FAVOURITEEEEE

wait no???????

wtf

don’t call mark

are you sick

are you out of ur mind

i just called you my favourite and now ur calling mark?????

y/n: puka puka pow pow 💚

tae: ok but i said i miss you

y/n: k

tae: me missing you

like that’s what’s happening rn

ME missing YOU

do you understand

y/n: yess thank you ur so kind !🌷💞💘

tae: ??????

say it back maybe

y/n: no thanks!

tae: okay lol

the more you deny my love

y/n: yuck

tae: ok never interrupt me again

or we WILL have issues

y/n: are you talking to me rn…

tae: NO LMAO WHAAAATTT i must of forgot where i was for a second why would i ever threaten my beautiful amazing queen

y/n: ok not too much

tae: love you!

y/n: ur making me sick gonna throw up

tae: i’ll catch it

with my hands

y/n: stop

tae: eat it if you want me too

y/n: you lack serious amounts of self respect and it’s extremely worrying

tae: will you give me head

y/n: only if you never speak ever again

tae: ohmygod literally call me ariel babe like you give me head and my voice box will literally melt out my body

NO WORDS

ever again NO JOKE

y/n: the way you lie so easily is kinda scary

tae: i’m not lying

okay I AM lying but like how am i supposed to call you at 3 am and beg you to come over if i can’t speak

y/n: that’s the point!

tae: ummmmm

that’s mean

like you would so miss my voice if i didn’t have one

y/n: if you didn’t have a voice how could i miss it if you never had one???

tae: what

y/n: like ur saying if you NEVER had i voice i would miss it

but i can’t miss it if i’ve never heard it before

tae: that logic is stupid cuz ur saying you can’t miss things you’ve never had

y/n: you can’t

tae: i miss our wedding night

y/n: shut up

tae: throbbing

you make me throb

THROBBING ❤️

y/n: shut up shut up shut UP

tae: totally random pov ur boyfriend calls you 700 times and messages you at 3 am telling you he’s throbbing and is offering himself to you on a silver plater fuck the the knife and fork he wants it messy

what you doing in that situation??

y/n: sending a swat team to his address

tae: i’m your boyfriend???

y/n: ?

tae: YOU BASICALLY SAID IM YOUR BOYFRIEND

THIS IS A WIN

THIS IS A WIN

OH MY GOD A WIN

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

I WIN

OHMYGOD I WIN

i win

ohmYGODDDD

i would like to thank yeontan and my parents and hybe and son heung min for this win

i owe it all to you guys

i promise to keep working hard

and never let any of you down i’m just so extremely grateful

and i just wanna add that

SMS ERROR: The phone number you are trying to reach is no longer in service!

tae: gf so crazy like 🤭

—

yessss this was half a draft for the first fwb work i did so if you see any similarities that’s why but this is also half a request cuz somone asked me to make a fwb piece about them missing you but i lost the little ask thingy i’m so sorry don’t shoot me ALSO obviously all the members aren’t here cuz this was a scrap but then i was like omg this is too silly to throw away so i posted here hope you like >.<

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks to @willtheweaver here and here, @somethingclevermahogony here, @the-golden-comet here and here, and @illarian-rambling here, and @mysticstarlightduck here!

Rules: write the given line in the voice of your characters!

I swear I don't let these build up intentionally! It's just that I seem to only get tagged in giant spurts and it's only when I'm busy! I get tired and it's hard to think about these responses.

Anyways, under the cut.

"Don't worry! I'm fine! (Lie)"

Lexi: "Nononono, seriously, I'm totally fine! No need to worry about me! I know what I can and cannot handle."

Maddie: "Why is everyone worried about me? I'm fine. Wade healed me. Who cares?"

Ash: "Pfft. Cmon, there's no need to worry, Lex. If there was a problem, I'd stop it. No need to worry."

Gwen: "Thanks for your concern, but I really am okay."

Robbie: "I already said I was fine, dude. Stop worrying, haha."

Akash: "Ha, I'm fine. Like, I get it, you're worried, and thanks, but really though - I'm okay."

Jedi: "While I appreciate that you are concerned for me, I really must insist that I am in no need of it."

Carmen: "I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

"Stay with me, help is on the way!"

Lexi: "Nononono, don't pass out! It's okay, you're okay you're okay.... We'll help you. They're coming and... And then you'll be fine." This is mainly for herself.

Maddie: "I think you'll be fine. Help is coming." She doesn't believe it.

Ash: *does this telepathically*

Gwen: "Shhh, hey, it's okay...it's okay.... You'll be fine. Stay with me... help's on the way.... You'll be okay."

Robbie: "Hey, hey dude... you'll be fine, just... Hang in there until help comes."

Akash: "You'll be fine. No need to worry. We just called for help. They'll be here soon." He also doesn't believe this.

Jedi: "You will be healed soon. You are not going to die. There is no need for concern."

Carmen: "Just shut up and focus on not dying. Help will come and you'll be fine." She's genuinely panicking.

"I refuse to apologize!"

Lexi: "I wish I could apologize, but I don't think it'll do any good now."

Maddie: "Why would I apologize? I didn't do anything."

Ash: "Wait, you want me to apologize? Why?"

Gwen: "I'm not going to apologize for doing what's right."

Robbie: "Pfft, what?? Apologize? Why would I?!"

Akash: "I'd apologize normally, but I'm with Robbie here."

Jedi: "I do not understand why it is necessary for me to apologize, so I will refrain from doing so."

Carmen: *scoffs* "Apologize?!"

"We've run out of time? GET SOME MORE, THEN!"

Lexi: "WHAT?! We're outta time??? How???? Oh, man, I wish there was more time!!!"

Maddie: "We're outta time? Oops. Wouldn't it be funny if we actually ran out of time? It's a weird statement if you think about it."

Ash: "Wait, since when is it [this time]? Why am I always running out of time to do stuff?"

Gwen: "Huh?! *Checks time* Oh, no, I'm late!! If only I had more time..."

Robbie: "What time is it??? Shit!!! Shitshitshit--- (mumbling to himself) gotta get distracted all the time... Running out of time... Dang ittttt.... Wish I could just add more time..."

Akash: "It's WHAT TIME?? Oh no, there's no way. No way. Time is not that short."

Jedi: "Huh. It appears it is well past the time. That is rather unfortunate...." He's really upset.

Carmen: she makes it her mission to always know what time it is.

"Don't do that. Seriously. DO NOT."

Lexi: "No!!! That's illegal/you're gonna get in trouble!!!"

Maddie: "Stop doing that. It's annoying."

Ash: "Will you stop!? That's annoying."

Gwen: "Hey, uh... I'm not sure if you should be doing that?"

Robbie: "Dude, you realize if you keep doing that, you're screwing everyone over, right?"

Akash: "Man, you gotta stop doing that, you look like an idiot."

Jedi: "I...would advise you not to do that."

Carmen: "Do NOT DO THAT!"

"Didn't think you had it in you to be this petty. Nice!"

"Fuck, I hate this job."

Let's pretend that they all have jobs. Despite only Jedi and Carmen being adults.

Lexi: "Ugh, this job is kinda dull. And lonely. I don't really like it."

Maddie: "This is boring. It's like the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. I hate it."

Ash: "This job is kinda...meh, I guess. Dull, maybe? I dunno, but nothing is happening. I kinda hate it."

Gwen: "I know I'm doing good work, but...I dunno, I just... I don't feel it, y'know? Fulfilled? I feel like I'm getting drained every day, and I dunno what to do about it."

Robbie: "I can't take it anymore, okay? It's just... So boring and repetitive and-- and I dunno, I can't do it. I feel trapped or something. I hate it."

Akash: "I don't think I can do this job anymore. I'm tired of being alone all day doing these stupid tasks."

Jedi: "Carmen, I... I am starting to not quite like our job. I am...unsure if what we are doing actually possesses meaning." (If only he could just come to this conclusion now)

Carmen: "You think I like this job?! I can't stand it!" (Cmon Carmen let it out...)

Lexi: "Wow. That's a little petty. Though I guess he deserved it. Just wasn't expecting it from you."

Maddie: "Ha. That was petty. Nice."

Ash: "Haha. I knew there was some pettiness in there." (She can sense it)

Gwen: "That was...a bit petty. But it was pretty cool. And I think you needed to be a bit petty."

Robbie: "Dude, that was sick! Super petty, but sick!"

Akash: "That was super petty, but super awesome. Didn't know you had it in you."

Jedi: "I will admit, that was quite the petty remark. However, I believe it was a deserved statement. I am, though, surprised it came from you."

Carmen: "Wow, Jedi. That was a little petty, coming from you. [Several seconds of pause] Good job." (She would only say this to him)

Yayyy we did it!

Tagging @melpomene-grey @riveriafalll @mk-writes-stuff @sarahlizziewrites @dyrewrites

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's phrase is: "Do you think it's a good idea to pet [that animal]?"

I think this can be used either way where the person talking wants to pet the animal or who they're talking to wants it.

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

[pluralquotebook]

-🎭 is talking in a group chat with some new friends, all systems-

-a little shows up-

🪽(Our gatekeeper, a father figure with a deep affinity for taking care of kids): “I like children”

🎭: “That’s illegal, 🪽”

🪽: “NONONONO NOT LIKE THAT-“

.

[goth-mami-writer]

A post about my life lately.

(If you fucking care ✌️🫠)

⚠️Tw: There's some mentions in this that may stir certain emotions regarding✨️pro-choice✨️mindsets (abortion) and vomiting. So if you think that's gonna upset you, don't interact pls. Thx.⚠️

Soooooooo-

I've been away. And here's why without being theatrical - I found out I was pregnant again. And....I wasn't happy.

I'm a mom to 1 already and...I knew that I couldn't do it again. It's hard, to be as frank as I can. The physical effect of pregnancy on the body is something...I despise? I had awful, TERRIBLE sickness the first time anddd fuck, it was the same this time.

Yeah, no. You can go ahead and count me out.

Well- Were you using BiRtH CoNtrOl?!, you may ask?

Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. I had an IUD inserted two months after I had my first kid. Cause FUCK THAT. I knew I didn't want another. My son's awesome. Being his mom is my reason for living. But pregnancy is not for me.

So- this being the decision, I fucking called the one person I goddamn trust and that's Mera. ❤️ @short-honey-badger

And bitch, did we plan a trip. We had to drive OUT OF OUR STATE TO RECEIVE THE CARE NECESSARY. (That's a topic for another day tho t-.-t )

✨️Anyways,✨️ Mera is a badass and drove me to said appointment as I'm fighting the most debilitating nausea. All I could stand to eat without vomiting was fucking popsicles and slushies. So yum at 5 am, BTW.

~But here's where shit gets wild~

I show up, ready to have this done. Get on with my life. Maybe start writing again because I know that I'll feel better. The nurses and staff were incredible and sweet. But there was one problem.....my IUD was out of place, they tell me.

Okay? I knew that, right? Obviously, that's why it didn't work and I got pregnant. Makes sense.

NONONONO. I'm laying on a table out of my home state, laughing gassed out of MY FUCKING MIND, with a lady doctor telling me in the calmest demeanor that she can that I need FUCKING ✨️EMERGENCY SURGERY✨️

LIKE. HOW DO YOU REACT...TO THAT?

So...the staff is obviously letting me recover from the procedure- THE ONE I JUST HAD. and now I'm being fed all this medical jargon basically saying that if I didn't receive surgery, this IUD was gonna tear its way into my other organs because it was already embedded in the muscle tissue of my abdomen.

Fucking AWESOME.

Luckily, all these people were contracted to the local hospital in this city and they were going to let them know I was coming over and all that good jazz, but I basically needed to get over there. Like...now. RIGHT NEOW. 💀

So then it's me and Mera just navigating parts of a city that we just DO NOT fucking know, trying to get me to said hospital where this surgery needed to take place. It wasn't far but goddamn this hospital had absolute SHIT parking. It was a monster to fucking navigate as well. Luckily, I was on some good pain meds that were keeping me kinda stable, but ooohhhh, not for long.

We get checked into the ER and yeah, I started HURTING. Not to mention also, viciously nauseous once again. But this time, because I hadn't eaten anything since 5am and I was told that it would basically be fucking ILLEGAL for me to eat again until I got off this operating table.

Fucking. AWESSOMMEE.

(I thought you said it was an emergency, why didn't they have you in OR yet??)

I HAD TO WAIT FOR THESE MFS TO GET THERE, HOLD ON.

My particular case needed staffing of crazy ass doctors to oversee this procedure. I swear to God, I met like 5 people in the four hours that I sat in the emergency room before being prepped for surgery.

I was rolled out for testing like four different times! All kinds of shit just being shot into my IV while I'm still fucked up on the first dose of morphine that's still whooping my ass in and out of consciousness as Mera is at my bedside like,

"O.o u okay?" (Bc she's an angel that stayed with me during the entirety of this fucking insanity like T-T)

FINALLY. I got into my fucking surgery. It went fine, everything is fine. But goddamn, I'm exhausted. Mera was exhausted. We'd been up for almost 24hrs at this point in the day and now I'm finally being admitted into an actual room for post-op recovery.

That next morning before my discharge, I was let know the gravity of my situation and things like that. I was reassured that nothing I did caused this IUD to move. And that meant one thing-

It was never inserted correctly in the first place.

✨️So✨️ let me be the first one to tell you- please. For the love of FUCK. Go get your IUD checked. Via fucking ultrasound.

Don't let that sassy nurse stick a speculum in your fuggin hoo-haa and tell you she can see the strings so you're good.

Guess what? EVERYONE SAW MY STRINGS TOO.

Check your IUD!!! Or you're gonna be knocked up, getting a little pregnancy✨️deletion✨️ in a strange state where a really nice lady doctor is gonna tell you that you're like weeks away from internally bleeding and need dire abdominal surgery to prevent that. And all you're gonna have is your bestfriend who you feel terrible for bc she didn't sign up for any of this bullshit. But there you are, passed out on morphine, hungry, confused, nauseous and WAITING FOR SURGEONS.

GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST. NEOW. 💀

[aayo-whatt]

~got bored so i put the winchester gays and their angel "buddies" in an incorrect quotes generator~

PART TWO BESTIES

~~

Adam, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast. Dean: You're kinda ugly.

~~

Cas: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Michael: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Gabe: Fuck you.

~~

Sam: Oh my Gabe. Dean: Don't you mean 'oh my god'? Sam: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

HELLO- IM DYING RN-

~~

Michael: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined. Dean: Heck. Michael: You're on thin fucking ice. Michael: Oh no-

~~

Michael: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. Gabe: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

~~

Michael: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Dean is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

~~

Cas: Dean, you're an asshole, man. Dean: You are what you eat Cas.

CACKLING SOBBING ON THE FLOOR DYING OH MY CHUCK-

~~

Michael: A mouse! Dean, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Gabe, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Adam, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Cas, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Sam: His name is Remi, dummy. Michael: I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

~~

Michael: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? Cas: I accidentally fell down. Gabe: DEAN PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent! Sam: Cas bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. Adam: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Sam.

~~

Michael: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Cas: We're chopsticks! Michael: Well... that's cute! Michael: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? Dean: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

~~

Dean: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Sam: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

~~

*Dean dies in a game with ships* Cas: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Cas: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Gabe: Legend has it that Dean still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Dean: Of course I do.

~~

Adam with a gun to Sam's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven? Sam: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

~~

Cas: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal! Michael: Can a butterfly be nonbinary? Cas: I mean, maybe? I don't judge. Adam, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then- Gabe: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back. Dean: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah... Sam: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a- Adam: No, nononono. You fuckers have already shattered my dream, you don't get the fucking privilege to make that reference. Michael: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference? Cas: You clearly have not lived with them long enough.

~~

Dean: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

~~

Cas: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

~~

Gabe: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul! Sam: Why is Michael's a monster? Michael: Gabe, you forgot Sam's! Its only an empty space! Gabe, proudly: Exactly

THE THING ABOUT SAM'S SOUL IS CANON OMGKBVERIUERKJ-

~~

Sam: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Gabe: What did you just say- Sam: Foetons! *Laughs* Gabe: Wh-what?

that is a terrible joke i love it

~~

Dean: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Cas: But I'm a vegan. Dean: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

~~

Gabe: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? Cas: Your life? Gabe: I- well yes, but-

~~

Gabe: And here we see Dean and Sam in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Dean: Gaelic bread. Sam: Grueling brad. Dean: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

~~

*when sam has no soul*

Dean: Sam, you need to react when people cry! Sam: I did. I rolled my eyes.

~~

PART 1 PART 3

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

hello! this is an IronDad prompt if ur interested. Peter and Tony are having their annual movie night except when it gets late Peter doesn't want to sleep. Peter is crawling on the ceiling and doing parkour across the furniture, being super hyper and won't stop moving. so Tony eventually chases Peter around and ends up tickling him to tire him out. could end with Tony carrying the kid to bed.

Bedtime Tricks

Summary: See prompt above ❤️

(Ahh! I love this! ❤️ This made me feel so soft and fluffy! Thank you so much Anoooon! ❤️ Enjoy!)

"Peter, get down!" Tony glared up at the teen crawling across his ceiling. "I don't want to explain to your Aunt May that you got a broken arm by parkouring upside down like a maniac."

The energetic teen whined. "No! You'll make me go to bed!"

"Pete, it's literally one o'clock in the morning."

"It's early!"

"Half the tower is asleep already. Even Bruce, and he's the worst night owl."

Peter turned. "You're one to talk."

There was a brief pause where Tony debated if it would be illegal to strangle the kid with his Iron Man suit. Or atleast yank him down so he wouldn't have to go up there.

Instead, the older mentor stared down his young mentee. "Pete, get down now."

"Please Mr. Stark? Just one more movie before bed?"

Tony shook his head. "We don't negotiate with terrorists."

"Just ex-assassians and super soldiers."

"Atleast they're adult enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour."

"But that's what makes me so awesome. I keep you young by keeping you up late."

While he didn't hate the kid, Tony did want to grab him by the shoulders and give him a couple of good shakes to clear the cobwebs. "Peter, you get one more chance to come down."

With a smirk, the young teen actually jumped down to the floor. "Okay."

Tony let out a breath. "Thank you. Now we can---."

A moment later, Peter was back up on the ceiling.

"Peter Parker!" Tony scolded. "I told you to get down."

"Ihi did!" Peter dropped from the ceiling onto the floor again. "Sehee?"

"Then why did you---?"

The young teen jumped back onto the ceiling once again.

Meanwhile, Tony rubbed his temples. "Get down and stay down."

"Ohh! That's whahat yohou meant," Peter dropped once again down to the floor.

"Yes, that's what I---Forget it, are you going to bed willingly or do I have to---."

Tony swore he blinked and the kid was now back up on the ceiling.

"Peter Benjamin Parker!"

Peter giggled down at the man. "Yohou look eheven shorteher from uhup hehere."

Tony took a deep breath. "Come down from the ceiling and go to bed or you're going to get it."

"Gehet what? Aha grohounding?"

"Peter, get down."

The young teen grinned. "Noho."

Tony felt something inside of him snap. "That's it!"

With the flex of his hand, Tony summoned the gloves of his supersuit into the room and up to the ceiling.

Peter squeaked and tried to scurry away, but he was too slow. One of the gloves snagged the collar of his shirt before he was pulled away from the ceiling. "Nononono!"

The gloves dangled the teen in front of a glaring mentor. "Bed time."

"But I'm not even tired!"

"Okay, what do I need to do to get you to sleep?"

A smile beamed across Peter's face. "Hide and Seek?"

Tony was surprised. He thought the kid would try another movie bargain again or maybe ice cream before bed. Instead, he just wanted a game. Granted, the amount of candy wrappers did indicate a sugar high . . . maybe a few good laps would wear him out enough to actually go to sleep.

In fact, Tony had an even better idea.

He lowered his young mentee to the floor with a smirk. "Alright, here's the deal. We'll play Hide and Seek, but I have a couple rules."

The young teen whined.

Tony held up a hand. "Before you judge, just listen. Rule number one, you have to stay on this floor. There's plenty of places to hide already and I don't want to go all over this place to find you."

Peter nodded.

"Rule number two, I'm the permanent seeker."

"What?"

"You're younger and smaller so you can fit in more places. Plus this was your suggestion so you should do most of the leg work."

"Fiiiine."

"Rule number three, and this one's most important, when I find you---."

"If you find me."

"Ah ah ah, shush. When I find you, I get to tickle you."

The young teen's eyes widened. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Why tickling!"

"Cause you love it."

Peter blushed. "No!"

Tony smirked. "Can't lie to me Pete."

"W-well . . . You still have to find me first!"

"Oh I plan to." The older mentor covered his eyes. "You've got ten seconds. One, two . . ."

Peter squealed and scurried away to find a hiding spot. He was going to pick the best spot to win this.

Meanwhile, Tony rolled his eyes as he continued counting. The things this kid put him through, but he was glad to do them. When he reached ten, he uncovered his eyes. "Ready or not, here I come."

As Tony searched, he had to admit the kid chose a good hiding spot. He couldn't find him in the living room, the kitchen, or the guest room. He was tempted to check his room when a stray giggle caught his attention.

The older man stopped to look at a nearby coat closet. Sure enough, a few more giggles slipped out.

Tony smirked as he made his way over to the closet. He heard the giggles inside try to quiet down, but it was too late. The older mentor threw open the door and his mentee tried to scurry between his legs.

"Gotcha!" Tony exclaimed as he grabbed the teen's foot and yanked him back.

"Eek! Wahait!"

Tony pinned his mentee's legs. "Too late."

Before Peter could respond, Tony dug into his sides.

"Ah! Tohonyhy!"

"At leheast yohou've gotten past your Mr. Stark eheraha." The older man's hands crawled up to the teen's ribs. "I should tickle you more often."

Peter blushed bright red at the idea. He was still adjusting to the idea that Mr. Stark knew he liked tickling and that he was willing to tickle him whenever. May did it and occasionally Ned, but he hadn't had a father figure willing to do tickle him since Uncle Ben had passed so it was still a bit of an adjustment.

But he had to admit, it was also kind of fun. Atleast until Mr. Stark reached his ribs.

"SQUEE! NAHAT THEHERE! NAHAT THEHERE!"

"Aww, is someone's ribs ticklish? Are this ribbies just too tickly?"

"NOOOHO!"

Tony finally let him go. "Ahalright, you gotta get more creative with thohose spots if you want toho trick me."

"On it."

The determined look on the young teen's face told Tony he was in for a challenge. "Go for it."

The older mentor returned to the living room and recounted as his mentee scurried off to a new place. When he went to search this time, Tony did struggle to pin point the kid's hiding spot at first. It took a bit of squinting to find one singular set of toes peeking out from under the guest room curtains.

A chuckle escaped Tony's mouth as he moved toward the curtain. To his credit, Peter stayed fairly quiet during this round. He only let out a few quiet giggles as his mentor stepped toward him.

With a quick yank of the curtain, Tony revealed the giggling teen. "Ah-ha!"

Once again, Peter squealed and bolted.

Tony tried to grab him, but the giggling teen slipped past him. "Hey! You're breaking rule number three!"

"Yohou nehever made aha ruhule fohor runnihing!"

Tony ran after him. "You and your loopholes!"

"Juhust dohont mahake thehem!"

Tony growled. "Get back here!"

With his mentor hot on his heels, Peter kept up the chase throughout the different rooms on the floor. He felt victorious out smarting the great Tony Stark! Atleast, he did until he tripped turning the corner.

This allowed Tony the chance he needed to pin the kid to the ground. "Got ya!"

"Wahait! No! Ihi trihipphed!"

"You never made a rule for tripping," Tony replied as he pinned the teen face first on the ground so he could tickle his back.

Peter squeaked. "Yohou made thehe ruhules!"

"Aww, does someone have a ticklish back too?" Tony spidered around his shoulder blades. "Poor kiddo."

"Ihi dohon't wahant yohour sympahathyhy ohold mahahan!"

A smirk crept across the older man's face. "Oh you don't? That's fine with me."

A moment later, Tony leaned forward to blow a raspberry into the nape of Peter's neck.

"NAAAAH!" Peter snorted. "TONY!"

"Wow, thahat was a new sound."

The teen turned to pout at his mentor. "Yohou're mehean."

"Aww. What's wrong kiddo?" Tony ruffled his hair. "Did I put the berries in the wrong spot?"

The teen's eyes bugged out. He immediately squirmed until he was able to wriggle out of Tony's hold. "Catch mehe fihirst!"

Tony grinned as he hurried to his feet. "You're on!"

Peter was a mess of giggles as he ran through the different rooms. This brought back memories of when he was a kid. He could remember the countless times his Aunt and Uncle had chased him around their apartment or Ned had tackled him to the living room floor when he slept over. Now he got to have the experience with Tony.

He just wished the pounding footsteps didn't make him so nervous and excited.

To give him some distance, Peter hurried back into the living room.

And Tony came stomping in. "Fe! Fi! Fo! Fum! I'm going to tickle you little one!"

Peter held out his hand. "Stahay ohover there!"

Tony hurried forward. "But you're over there!"

The young teen moved to the other side of the couch. "Cause Ihim stahaying away frohom yohou!"

Tony shrugged. "Could have accomplished the same thing by going to bed. Yet here we are."

Then before the teen could retort, Tony jumped on to the couch to pull him over. Once he had his mentee on the couch, Tony repinned him. "Now to give you some proper berries."

Peter wrapped his arms around his stomach as nervous giggles bubbled out. "Y-you don't h-hahave tohoo!"

Tony pushed his arms and shirt up. "But I will."

Peter became a cackling mess as Tony blew raspberries into his tummy. He couldn't grab onto his mentor's hair either because Tony had wrapped a hand around his arms so he could hold them in place.

"EEEEEK!" Peter snorted again. "Yohour beHEEEEARD!"

The older man stroked his gotee. "Ticklish?"

"Noho fahahair! You hahave aha weapohon!"

"Don't be jealous kiddo." Tony pinched the teen's cheek. "You'll get your own when you grow up."

Peter playfully bit at Tony's hands.

"Ah! Now I have to use my weapon."

The older man's head returned to blowing the raspberries on Peter's stomach.

"NAAAAAH! NO FAHAIR! NOHO FAIR!"

Tony chuckled which sent goosebumps flaring across the teen's tummy. To add to the ticklishness, Tony intentionally rubbed his beard across the teen's tummy just to make it extra tickly.

"Ehehe-EEE! NAAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE THEHE WOHORST!"

"Ihi know, thank you."

With his stomach free from the raspberries, Peter took the opportunity to stick his tongue out at Mr. Stark.

"Carefuhul, wouldn't want it to get stuck like that."

The young teen whined.

"Look, let's do one more round." Tony unpinned the kid. "If I find you in under two minutes, I get to pick the next tickle spot. If you manage to stay hidden for longer than two minutes, you get to pick the next tickle a pot. Sound good?"

Peter nodded. "You're ohon!"

Tony let the teen go before he covered his eyes again. When he opened them, he caught sight of a foot disappearing behind the couch. The older man smirked, but decided to play along. "JARVIS, set a timer for two minutes."

"Timer is set."

Tony stood and started toward the hallway. "Where are you kiddo?"

The older mentor could still hear the stifled giggles from behind the couch as he moved around. He slowly checked behind a nearby chair, under the coffee table, and deliberately passed by the couch to check the other side of the living room.

When he knew the timer was nearing the end, he made his way to the couch. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

The stifled giggles grew even more as he leaned against the couch. Then he popped his head over. "Hello."

"Ahh!" Peter jumped back.

"Timer has ended."

The young teen groaned. "No fair! I was so close!"

"Welp, rules are rules."

Peter squealed as he was pulled over the back of the couch. "Wahait!"

"No can do." Tony wrapped him in a hug. "Too busy getting your neck."

The older man nuzzled his face into his mentee's neck.

"EEE! TONY!"

"Ihi get toho choose kiddo." Tony rubbed his beard across his neck. "And I'm going to use my secret weapon."

As Tony continued his attack, Peter dissolved into snorts, cackles, and squeals. He looked so much younger and even more precious. When the young teen seemed adequately out of breath, Tony stopped the tickles and just held him close. "Dihid yohou have fun kiddo?"

"Yeheah Dahad."

Both parties tensed as the word settled over them.

"I---I'm so T-Mr. Stark . . . I didn't---I mean I didn't---."

As Peter floundered for his words, Tony felt his heart melt. He pulled the young teen as close as he could before squeezing him tight. "You're welcome son."

Peter buried his face into Tony's chest as he wrapped his arms around him. It was one of the best hugs he had had in a while. "Thank you."

"Anytime kiddo." Tony ran his fingers through the teen's curls. "Anytime."

As Tony kept up the gentle touch, Peter slowly relaxed into his hold. The once hyper teen was now replaced with a snuggly kid who was slowly drifting off to sleep.

Tony chuckled as his kid. "Guess it dihid help you goho to sleep."

Peter didn't respond. His eyes were shut and his breathing slowly evened out.

Ever so carefully, Tony stood with the sleeping teen in his arms. He walked down the hall to the guest room where he carefully tucked his kid in for the night. "Night kid. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

Peter snuffed in response as he curled under the covers. "Love you."

Tony grinned. "Love you too son. See ya in the morning."

The older mentor quietly headed out of the room and clicked off the lights.

[nanathott]

NONONONO petplay is not as weird as raceplay and etc!!! Saying people who into that are zoo is like saying people with daddy kink are into kids or incest!!! It's more about dominant and submissive roles with a little (or not little) degradation! I also was thinking that it's weird before I learned more about it. Nothing related to real animals!!!

Of course, there are exceptions but that is the extreme manifestation of kink and strange people are literally everywhere.

oh okay then slay!! i’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum unless it’s illegal so ^.^ like i said i have 0 idea about what pet play is but uhhhh RAHHHHHHHH

[1luckyrubberducky]

Me: Hey this fresh food is pretty yummy, right?

Stomach:

Me: ...haha right?

Stomach:

Me:

Stomach: DANGEROUS ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE DETECTED - ABORTING ALL SYSTEMS-

Me: nO NONONONO-

[thebisexualwreckoning]

Nononono the fact that being trans in India was like being a priest and the Hijras were called upon to bless babies and marriages and were so heavily ingrained in our society but then the fucking British decided to colonise and make being a Hijra fucking illegal so now people who fall under the trans flag like me and many of the people i know are being hate crimed against when back before the fucking British we were akin to deities???!!!! Like the British come here and ruin EVERYTHING

[august-anon]

Final Countdown

Tickletober 2022, Day 20: Counting [LATE]

-----

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death

Ship(s): Black Pete/Lucius/Fang

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Lucius/Ler!Pete,Fang

Word Count: 310 words

Summary: Pete and Fang teaming up should be illegal, In Lucius's opinion.

[ao3 link]

---------------

“Don’t you dare,” Lucius said, his voice wobbling.

Fang pouted down at him. “Why not? I thought we were having fun.”

Lucius twisted his wrists where they were trapped above his head in Pete’s hands. Gentle and careful as his touch was, Pete’s grip was unrelenting. Lucius felt his chuckle rumbling through his spine. Fang’s pout slowly grew back into a smirk.

“Fang–”

“Ten,” Fang said gleefully, “nine, eight…”

Pete picked up counting next, “Seven, six, five…

Lucius started babbling for his life, spitting out every plea that came to mind to try and save him from his fate. It’s not that he actually wanted out of this situation, he had purposefully dug this grave for himself after all, but he couldn’t help his sense of self-preservation. Half the fun was trying to weasel himself out of the situations he got himself into. Half of Fang and Pete’s fun was making sure he couldn’t.

Pete sighed heavily behind him, ruffling Lucius’ hair and making him shiver.

“You made us lose count!” Fang said. “Now we have to start over.”

Pete hummed. “You know, maybe if we count from a bigger number, he’ll have time to calm down.”

“No!” Lucius kicked his legs, trying to scrabble his way out of their grips. “No, no, nononono! Guys!”

Fang easily put a stop to his attempts by straddling his lap, cracking his knuckles in the process. Pete tugged his arms up even higher, giving him even less slack. He couldn’t even tuck his face behind his elbows anymore. Fuck.

“Don’t worry, babe,” Pete said. “This is gonna tickle.”

“A lot,” Fang added.

“Fuck.”

“Twenty, nineteen–”

“Twenty?” Lucius cried, his voice shrill.

“You’re right,” Pete said. “That’s way too low.”

“No, wait!”

Fang held his hands up above Lucius’s stomach, wiggling his fingers teasingly. “How about this. Fifty, fourty-nine, fourty-eight…”

Oh, Lucius was doomed.

[dark-elf-writes]

NONONONO CRYING CHOJI IS ILLEGAL YOU CANT DO THAT HE CANT CRY THATS THAT NOT FAIR NO NO NO NOT MY SWEET KIDS THEYRE SO LITTLE STILL

[dhsjmals]

The turtles as things my friend(s) have said

Donnie : don't choke that illegal

Leo: be quiet historian

Raph: Mikey someone wrote on your skateboard! Oh wait that the design

Leo: Kasey with an k?

Barry: I think Donatellos trying to kill me

Donnie: because I'm autistic. Didn't you notice?

Leo: I don't want a whole explanation I just want a simple answer

Donnie: nononono it has to be perfect

Leo: Donnie since your a historian help me with this assignment

Leo: See even Casey with a c plays better than Donnie

Mikey: the cholo kid?

Leo: no I don't know and I don't care about Holly jolly

Leo: if I take this drug how fast would it kill me??

Donnie: every girl carries a hairbrush in their back pack

Casey: I don't

Donnie: thats cus ur not a girl

Casey: E X C U S E M E?

Donnie: wait no that not what I meant. Pls don't hurt me

April: Your a tomboy

Donnie: What ew no I'm not

Mikey: I'm a tomboy

Both: no ur not

Leo: Five bucks to tuch the bug

Mikey: What five! That not enough

Leo: Fine three and two chocolate kisses

Mikey:DEAL!

[onebighappyaftonfamily]

saw someone do one of those memes that was like FNAF Lore: large book FNAF if Henry started a bakery: tiny book

of course all that did was make me make a Bakery AU

tw brief discussion of non-consensual cannibalism

Okay Fredbears is a bakery like one of those cute ones in Japan where the employees have to wear those like adorable costumes. so not animatronics just suits. how can they move when haunted? IDK they just will

Evan: one of those unrealistic child fears of monsters in an oven or some shit Death by Oven?? D: MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK

First death: Charlotte locked out of the bakery? No bullies just her and her father and accidentally the door jammed or she got locked out. Stabbed. her body is the only body that is ever found really. right?

5 missing kids: stabbed. And . er. Baked into the … foods? real hannibal shit jesus How tf they haunt animal suits? idk they do FNAF 2. new bakery. william does this again. what kinda pastries have meat in them william :( is he selling these to customers? OH NO. this is a cute bakery. they arent going to have meat pies. how is he putting meat on the menu. unless hes eating them? is he putting something on the menu or is he personally eating kids. NO nononono he wouldnt do that

IS HE FEEDING HENRY THE MISSING CH- (gets killed for even thinking this) hey this was supposed to be a bakery au not a hannibal au no but “sorry charlie is dead. i baked you some pies” SCREAM NO BECAUSE YOU GIVE GRIEVING PEOPLE FOOD IN CASE THEY DONT HAVE ENERGY TO COOK

henry did not eat all 11 missing children. that is just illegal.

oh michael sooooo ate a missing child. pray for him that he never finds out or maybe once he learns about his father killing children hes like “oh where were the bodies hidden?” and never makes the connection. that would kill Michael

michael. sister location.

William making killer animatronics No William making poisoned treats Yes

Elizabeth ate a poisoned treat

william would not bake elizabeth into food thank god. actually one would argue that death by poisoning would mean they themselves are not edible and thus none of the Sister Location/Funtime crew are eaten

Afton Robotics is actually like a huge industrial baking center or something FACTORY Afton Factory? Afton Productions? you know like How Its Made long conveyor belt, big mixing machine, enormous oven etc etc.

Mascot costumes that are haunted by elizabeth and group push him into the machines Crushed and shredded apart by the How Its Made Type Machines. RIP Michael Wait that means Clara = ballora in this AU? how did Clara die scream. idk.

How to get springlocked :/

heavy machinery at the og bakery, not the afton place, og bakery machinery falls on him while wearing the spring bonnie mascot costume Crushed to death also but in a different less horrible way. like William just gets flattened by old collapsing machinery. Michael gets fucking wrecked i need to stop thinking about this

okay just like 3 more games to go or whatever

would they have a horror attraction of this ? theoretically theres still missing children so yes. FNAF 3 goes the same then LOL

FNAF 6 can go the same but bakery. use your imagination

William would still upload his consciousness into a digital format

Pizzaplex. hmm. i dont wanna tackle that im running on like 4 hours of sleep

[henrensupremacy]

no no nononono she did not have that baby in the loft. on the couch. no. nononono. with Natalia there?????? with Natalia there????????? in Buck's apartment???????????? on Buck's couch??????????????? the couch??????????????????? and Buck and Natalia are gonna go couch shoppping together?????????????????????????????? illegal. no. stop it. shut the fuck up.

[ask-globe]

Cry and weep all you want. You can't change anything.

(So sorry if I get Quill's personality wrong, I am trying my best :[ )

-🪶

Nononono he has to, he has to see it eventually! He has to! I love him too much to let him go he CAN'T not return these feelings!

(your very good at this dw lol he absolutely hates her and would kill her if it werent illegal 🥰)

[humiliatedwriter]

-brother-

hey! this was requested by @alixiiv ! I really loved the concept of a brotherly Tommy and I'm a real sucker for found family so their ask inspired me immediately!

anyways, enjoy 1502 words of tommy being like a replacement big brother!

warnings: just brother being a huge dick in the beginning

You stand up and stretch after spending an ungodly amount of time sitting and editing an essay, judging by the fact that you can hear your bones crackling and popping, it’s probably time for a break. You grab your phone and open it not really expecting much in way of notifications, but instead, you had two missed calls and an absurd number of unread texts, all from the same person.

You adored Tommy, he was by ar your closest friend, and even if he was awkward in the moment, he always managed to be comforting to be around, which was definitely a surprise considering how inhumanly loud and energetic he was at all hours of the day and night.

However, he did have a problem with spamming his contacts at the weirdest times. You sigh and open his texts to decipher what he had to say that was important enough to send twenty messages over.

HEY

HEY

HEEEEY

WHERE ARE YOU

PAY ATTENTION TO ME

B I T C H

COME TO MY HOUSE THIS INSTANT I HAVE AN IDEA

YOU’RE BEING MEAN TO ME ANSWER

Fantastic, another one of his schemes. As much as you wanted to say no and not have to dress up as a video game character and go swimming or trespass in some junkyard somewhere, a Tommy scheme seemed to be what you needed at the moment. You sat back down at your desk and typed up an answer, albeit a not-so-eloquent one.

Dhdfjfg what

What do u want trashman

-

Had an idea.

Spoons on the boardwalk

Come over

-

As long as it’s not illegal I’m down just gimme a sec

Knowing how complicated his ideas got, you would probably be out for a while and you were already hungry, so you hauled ass to the kitchen to grab a snack before you headed out. Your brother was preparing something at the stove, you just gave him a nod when he looked up at you, and as usual, he didn’t say a word to acknowledge your existence.

Whilst grabbing something from the fridge you knocked some tupperware out with your elbow. Thankfully nothing spilled, however, your brother noticed and seemed to jump at the opportunity to say something

“Jesus fuck can you slow down and stop knocking shit over? God, you’re such a chore to be around. I literally just wanted to make my food and leave and you managed to almost spill pasta sauce all over the floor in the ten seconds you’ve been in here. This is why I avoid you, you can’t do shit without it almost being a disaster.”

You looked up from putting it back in the fridge, a knot in your throat and tears already forming in your eyes. You abandon whatever you were trying to pull out of the fridge and make your way to the door, throwing on your coat and shoes and leaving without a word

As you made your way to Tommy’s house, you were holding back tears. Your brother had basically always been like that. Ever since you could remember you were walking on eggshells around him. And you knew deep down it wasn’t your fault he was this way, but after years and years of being told otherwise, you couldn’t help but feel like there was something you could do to make things better between you two. You choked back a sob and wiped your eyes when you crossed onto Tommy’s street, not wanting him to see you like this. After composing yourself you walked up to his house and knocked on the door, barely mustering up a convincing smile when he opened the door.

“HEY HEY HEY, SO MY IDEA WAS- what’s wrong? You look really upset. what’s going on?”

His energy change was shocking, he went straight from bouncing on the spot to concernedly analyzing your face and reaching out to touch your shoulder, you reflexively push his hand away,

“Oh, nononono I’m fine it’s literally nothing what was your idea?”

His face dropped into a look of disbelief. He sighed your name and shook his head

“I spend part of almost every day with you, I can tell when you’re upset. And more than that, I care when you’re upset. My plan can wait, tell me what happened?”

You sigh, knowing you won’t get out of this you prepared to spill what all had happened to him. No matter what Tommy seemed to be able to sense when you were upset and refused to let you ignore it until you talk to him about it and came to a solution, or at least until you weren’t miserable anymore. He invited you inside and sat down on the sitting room floor and patted the ground beside him, signaling for you to do the same.

It took a bit but eventually, you opened up, not just about this, but about all that you had been going through involving your brother. He had heard about him plenty of times, but this time you finally spilled everything and all of your thoughts on it. Throughout the whole conversation, you would need breaks to cry or just take deep breaths, tommy was quiet throughout it, you could tell he didnt really know what to say, but he listened. He listened to everything you said and rubbed your back when you cried and assured you that all of this was no fault of yours. And that's all you needed.

Eventually the conversation drew to a close, and having that weight off your shoulders was so freeing and while you felt miles better you still felt fragile from all that crying and being so vulnerable.

You two sat in silence for a few minutes. Just laying on the floor together, the silence was more peaceful than anything. After a few minutes of quiet he sits up and looks up at you,

“So- I don’t really know about you, but after I’ve had a good cry I usually have an ice cream to lighten the mood, would- would you want that?”

You sigh and smile at him, he really is trying, and that was everything you needed at the moment.

“Yeah! that sounds fantastic Tommy”

He gets up and slips into the kitchen, you hear him open and shut the freezer. After a few seconds he pokes his head out

“So, there's a flaw in my plan, we don't have icecream.”

You stare at the ceiling for a moment,

“Isn't there an icecream stand not to far from here? From what i remember its pretty close to the boardwalk”

You two wind up walking all the way out to go get post-cry icecream, and its clear tommy really wants to lighten the mood, especially when he tries to walk on the concrete border of a planter and almost immedatly trips and nearly falls on his face. Thankfully though he catches himself and crows something about being the king of not falling or whatever.

After a little bit of jumping around he comes to walk beside you,

“Come rule the streets with me! Its not fun when im just being cool and sexy by myself”

“No i'm not making a fool of myself tommy”

“We’ll be making fools of ourselves together! And thats quite fun i think”

You sigh and pull him into a side hug. He was plenty weird, but he was someone you could count on. And that was by far everything you needed. Somehow in spite of his nature as a loud and disruptive person, he was comforting. And in a weird way, he filled the hole in your life that your brother left. While watching him do his thing trying to climb a tree at the side of the walkway, you realized that, while you maybe lost your flesh and blood brother, you found a pretty great one elsewhere.

You ran to catch up with him, when you were at the base of the tree he was climbing, still huffing and puffing from running you looked up at him and asked,

“So- what does ‘spoons on the boardwalk’ mean and why do you need me for it?”

You spent the whole day with tommy, wreaking havoc on any unsuspecting person on the boardwalk and enjoying eachother’s company. After it all you were laying in bed scrolling through your phone, right as you were about to plug it in and go to sleep you received a text from none other than tommy, you rolled over onto your back and tapped it,

Hey, I’m really glad you’re feeling better, I hate that you’re trapped in that situation and I hope you know the way he speaks to and about you reflects him alone. None of what he does or says is your fault and none of it shows who you actually are or how people see you. I know its probably not much but if you ever need to replace him im always here to be the better alterative

———

heyyyyyy thanks for reading! If you enjoyed feel free to shoot me a request! I’m super dry on ideas and motivated to write so I’d be happy to fill whatever you have in mind! Rules, writing scheme and who I write for are here! ~> request-rules-an-my-general-writing-scheme