#Name that they have dysphoria or will be stealth or we

[nothorses]

#idk i have thoughts about the 'binar v. nonbinary' distinction. i think there is a reason#that trans people get degendered when they use binary pronouns#AND wrongly gendered when they use use gender neutral pronouns#for example

i'm intrigued by these thoughts would you like to share more about these thoughts

I think I'd boil it down to like... specifically the idea of "binary trans" people as a class.

I very firmly believe that the oppression of nonbinary people ("exorsexism") exists and is a real form of oppression, and I believe that experiences with it- and the ideological foundation it rests on- are unique and worth discussing. I think nonbinary people have unique experiences with oppression that are necessary to listen to and understand, and that it is to everyone's benefit to include in those perspectives in larger conversations around trans justice.

I specifically take issue with the idea that there is a group of people that can easily & universally be differentiated as "binary trans" in anything but how those people personally identify.

I think that, socio-politically speaking, the only people that are truly classed as "binary" are 100% gender-conforming dyadic cis people. When we're talking about transphobia as a concept, we're talking about a system of oppression meant to punish people who stray from the gender binary. Historically, anyone punished under this system was included under the "trans" umbrella: gender-non conforming cis people, drag kings and queens, nonbinary people, intersex people, you name it. We are all gender outlaws; we all exist outside traditional understandings of gender, and we are all punished for doing so.

Now, we can narrow the scope quite a bit; I do still have the ability to "pass" as my gender, which is not an option to a lot of nonbinary folks. I can get a gender marker that accurately reflects my gender, and I can go "stealth" in a way that doesn't cause me a lot of dysphoria. I absolutely acknowledge that there are experiences I do not have, and oppression I do not face, and I should take care to listen to the people who do face them.

The problem for me here is that like, none of those things are exclusively "binary trans" experiences either. Plenty of nonbinary people are not strictly outside of every binary gender, or outside of comfort with a binary gender presentation. Such is the enormous multitude of nonbinary identities, and the unknowable vastness of human experience.

The other, perhaps larger problem for me is that I also do not strictly have a "binary trans male" experience. I mean, least of all because I have still at this point spent more of my life identifying as nonbinary than I have as a trans man- but also because I'm still trans. In a lot of ways, I'm not actually viewed as "binary"; I am clock-able enough that I'm pretty regularly degendered by even incredibly well-intentioned cis people, for example. My grandma is confused about my gay relationship; she very much does not think it is gay or straight. Anyone who knows I'm a trans man does not think of me as a woman or a man; they think of me as something entirely outside of the binary, and they treat me accordingly.

To go back to the tag you're quoting: I think binary trans people using binary pronouns are degendered for the exact same reason that nonbinary using gender-neutral pronouns are misgendered. People don't want to recognize us as the genders we are. They don't want to validate an experience of gender that lies outside their tidy little gender binary.

Again: this doesn't mean that exorsexism isn't real, or even that "there is no such thing as a binary trans woman/man". That's not what I'm saying. I want to keep having discussions about the unique experiences nonbinary people have, and the unique ways in which transphobic society treats and targets them, and the unique oppression they suffer, and why, and how we can fight that.

I also don't think I'm the first person by far to point out that maybe the idea of The Binary Trans Experience should be problematized a little bit, and I think there's something to be said for the funky space that "binary trans people" occupy on the good-little-gender-conforming-cis-person to nonbinary continuum.

[moongothic]

I'm not clear on why Crocodile couldn't have already been stealth trans before Ivankov transed his gender, like yeah Oda has a particular way he draws women that might be a little hard to disguise, but so many details in Crocodile's costume COULD be used to disguise even an hourglass and boobs, and real people have been stealth since long before HRT was a thing

You are right, Croc could've been stealth long before meeting Ivankov in theory. It's just that there's a few little things we would then need to considder that honestly makes Crocodile being openly trans an oddly more viable option, at least in my mind

For one, yeah, there is the issue of how Oda draws women. Like, let's be clear about one thing, Oda can and is 100% ABLE to draw female characters who aren't just his default hourglass figure big tiddy anime girls. Like that is the default, but he 100% can and DOES draw characters outside that trope (and yes, most exceptions to the trope tend to be older women, so just to name a few youngish-adult ladies, Miss Monday, Sandersonia and Marigold all break Oda's typical way of drawing adult women (and are all queens)) Another thing is that Oda can make character designs that can appear somewhat androgynous, Cavendish and Dellinger just to name at the top of my head (Dellinger was famously mistaken for a girl by fans when first introduced)

So theoretically it is possible Oda could make young, pre-t Crocodile a bit androgynous both in physical appearance and how he dressed himself (Oda did mention how he actually intentionally drew Nami and Robin with smaller tits during the first two arcs of Wano because women traditionally binded during the time, so it was for like historical accuracy. So he could give pre-t Croc a flatter chest and/or have him binding) (Sidenote the genderbent Croc from the SBS could be seen as post-pregnancy Croc; Pregnancy hormones do fuck up your body, so a pre-preg Croc and post-preg Croc could appear differently in that way too)

And let me tell you, nothing would make me happier than if pre-t Crocodile was like a reverse Cavendish (giving Sailor Uranus) instead of the default big tiddy anime lady Oda always does. The only reason I'm intentionally trying to kill my own hopes and dreams ahead of time is because we saw how Oda drew Yamato. Mind you, Yamato does not have to do jack shit, bind or do anything else, in order to pass as a man. He's a man regardless of how he presents himself, big tiddy or not. But because of how Oda drew Yamato, I don't want to hold onto any hope that he would draw pre-t Croc any different. Mainly because I don't want to end up disappointed. Like I said, it's theoretically possible, Oda could do it if he wanted to, I'm just not sure he would, so I'm basically just trying to brace myself for the worst lmao

(Sidenote though, I don't see any reason why pre-t Croc would've dressed any different from how he dresses now, based on how Oda makes character designs in general and Yamato too, how he dresses however the fuck he wants. Like I am 100% sure pre-t Croc would've worn his silly little waistcoats and pants just like he does now. Absolutely do not comprehend it whenever people draw him in a dress or a skirt, he would not have worn that I fucking promise you that)

The other big thing is how, if Crocodad Real, he would've had to have transitioned after giving birth at 27, and that begs the question of "why wouldn't he have transitioned before ever getting pregnant"

I know someone's going to argue "he just accepted his body for what it was and didn't need to transition to be considdered a real man", and while that's true as an overall statement about trans people in our world, like. If Crocodile was "fine with his body being the way it was and didn't want to transition" then why did he do it later in life then. Clearly he did want to transition. Why the fuck would you wait and go through extra years of dysphoria when you could just end it and enjoy euphoria instead.

And I can only think of two explanations; either Ivankov didn't get their Devil Fruit until around/after Crocodile got knocked up so he didn't have the possibility to transition until it was too late. Or, as I have discussed in the past; maybe Crocodile never figured his gender shit out until after getting knocked up.

I have discussed in the past how sometimes, the path of least resistance, the explanation that requires the least explaining, might be the most likely one. It's easier for me to assume Crocodile is openly trans and that he was Narnia-deep in the closet/in denial about his gender until he got pregnant and his dysphoria became unbearable (so much so it finally cracked his egg). Crocodile being stealth trans (and Oda will draw him in a way that the theory's viable) but wasn't able to transition until later in life because Ivankov hadn't eaten their DF yet is plausible, but I feel like I have to have higher hopes for that version to happen.

But that is just how I feel, what makes sense to me and what I feel like I could expect Oda to actually do in the story. And I could be 100% wrong, only time will tell

(Sidenote; theoretically it is also plausible Crocodile never even met Ivankov until during/after pregnancy but that could potentially go against the "rookie era" comment from Impel Down. Yes, I did just discuss how that one could be retconned in the previous ask, but as I presonally believe in hte "they met when Croc as in his early 20s but didn't transition until later" version, I felt like I should acknowledge that)

[trans-wojak]

I swear to fucking god, do people even listen to themselves these days? Another stupid girl posting on Facebook that she’s supposedly “agender” but ain’t ever going to inform her parents about her precious gender identity because they won’t understand. That she will die without them ever knowing.

Do you know how privileged that is? Literally, your parents won’t even give a fuck. Why? Because you aren’t actually going to transition. Do you know what happens to ACTUAL transsexuals? We get kicked out of home, we get abused, our parents disown us. I was NOT put in conversion therapy and pushed back into the closet for fucking 9 years then made homeless just so some stupid girls can think “oh but I don’t feel like a girl, I’m fine with my sex tho” is on the same level as me.

My parents originally fucking were horrible to me, they put me in conversion therapy and you what that lead to? Me having such low self esteem that I believed being abused was normal, so normal that I got into a domestic violent relationship that lasted for 9 years. Conversion therapy actively encourages you to consider suicide as an option if you can’t live as your assigned sex. They break down your spirit, they basically try to convince you that you’re delusional. Leaving him meant I was left with NOTHING but not only that, I had already started testosterone and the changes were beginning to get too obvious for my dad to ignore. He literally made me homeless cause he refused to have me live with him until I could get my own place. Because now I wasn’t just looking like a dyke, I was now showing signs of true transsexuality.

Both my parents are better now, they have a lot of regret about treating me so poorly over my gender dysphoria - but they are not perfect. My mum will still run away and hide from people who knew me prior to my transition if I’m with her because she doesn’t want to defend me if they are nasty when they realise it’s [deadname] as a man now. My dad still uses she/her pronouns for me even though it makes people think he has dementia lol. He constantly thinks I’m going to kill myself because I will eventually regret my transition. He also thinks everyone can always tell that I’m trans even though I’m stealth in real life. He lets it slip that he thinks I will never find a partner, constantly tells my mum that he wishes I “just stayed as a lesbian butch woman**”. My mum thinks [deadname] and Mike are two different people, she thinks she lost a daughter, but gained a son even though I am the same person. She has said before that I killed her first daughter when we have arguments.

I am so sick of this non binary craze bullshit. Y’all don’t understand that transsexuals do not get the same benefits you do, you can hide being “trans.” You can put on your they/them pins at LGBTIBBQ meet ups but take them off to go back to your cis life. I cannot. My life is forever shaped by this bullshit, I am struggling so hard to change my name legally so EVERY TIME I do anything that requires that nonsense - people treat me like fucking shit. Cause they see a bloke in front of them but a legal female name, they know. Nurses are absolute trash to me if I ever go to the hospital because of my legal name. They use he/him until they see the paper work then do a condescending smile and use my deadname, she/her etc. Its rare that I have a decent nurse or doctor who ACTUALLY continues to treat me correctly.

Your non binary identity is based all on fucking sexist gender roles and without those, you wouldn’t have an identity. Mine is based on the fact my brain sex is male but my body was born female and I’m actively changing that to male.

We are not the same.

[dandelyle]

can we talk about bottom dysphoria because lol

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience. I am not speaking for anyone else but myself. Also this is meant to be a discussion so please share your thoughts too!

When I was a kid, I didn't know what ftm was or transgender or dysphoria or anything. I just had a huge cloud of uncomfortableness deep inside me. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Once I found the name for that feeling, dysphoria, suddenly a lot of things made so much sense. At the same time, everything became so much worse. I finally knew what was wrong with me, but it seemed impossible to fix.

I got on T, changed my name, socially transitioned, and got top surgery and sterilization surgery. I have a beard now. I pass all the time and am stealth all the time and no one in my life ever misgenders me. It should be a privilege, and it is. But I still have dysphoria. it doesnt bother me as much as before I did all that.

But there's still that one "little thing" ..... my missing penis. This is not a phalloplasty hate post. But I can't do it right now for many, many reasons. I have no one to take care of me after, I can't afford it, I don't live near a reputable surgeon, but all those things could be overcome with enough determination. The thing I can't overcome is my fear.

So I'm stuck here in my discomfort that grows bigger every day. How to cope with it?

This might be unpopular, but I think for me I have to come to terms with what I have, or rather, what I don't have. I need to accept that I'm trans and will never be cis. Personally, that's what "pride" means to me.

I think I'm doing a good job of it. I do not hate myself anymore. I use CBT techniques to counteract the lies dysphoria tells me. Yes actually I am a real man even if I don't have a dick. Sometimes a dude just has a pussy. It's one of nature's quirks. There is nothing wrong or abnormal with it. If I can just accept that, maybe I can stop being so consumed by weens. I literally browse ftm prosthetic stores and forums all day, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, and then I'm right back to it the next day.

Bottom dysphoria is like. so embarrassing honestly. It's private, not really something people talk too much about except in bottom surgery circles. But friends, I've been struggling with it hard. I want to buy every prosthetic peen available. I want phalloplasty. But goddammit phalloplasty is so permanent and daunting. What if I regret it? what if something goes seriously wrong? i like bottoming, what if I miss that after? I know you can get phalloplasty without vaginectomy, but most surgeons won't do a urinary lengthening without the v-nectomy, and that's definitely something I'd need from phalloplasty. But I don't know if I can give up that intimacy. The best compromise I can come up with for myself is to wait until I'm in my middle age and then do it so I can spend half my life with a v and the other half with a dick. so no, there's not really any pressure to decide on it right this second because I'm literally only 26, but I still can't stop thinking about it.

it's like.... there's nothing wrong with me but there's definitely something wrong with me. like it's totally not a problem to be trans obviously but goddammit there's something vital missing from my body. if there wasn't something seriously wrong then I wouldn't have phantom penis y'all.

anyways I just needed to get these feelings out

[meistoshi]

hey dont cry trans satoshi be upon ye okay

satoshi’s a trans man & realized as much very early on, before leaving masara town even, but he doesn’t think about his gender all that much for the most part.     it’s only when other people bring gender related topics up, or when he has nothing pokémon related to focus on, that he even in passing thinks of it.     had it not been for masara’s schools often splitting children into boy groups & girl groups, satoshi likely wouldn’t have thought about his gender enough to realize he’s trans until he’d already started his pokémon journey.     as it stood, though, satoshi simply felt more connected to boyhood in a way a girl’s tomboyishness just didn’t fit with, understood he didn’t feel like he belonged bunched in with the girls of his class, & went from there.

the name "satoshi" was hanako’s idea.     because they’d always had such an easy relationship, when satoshi figured out hey i’m actually a guy he just … told hanako, & she was like oh woops guess we all made a mistake on that assignment huh, & she only asked if he had any thoughts on what he’d like to be called instead of his birthname.     satoshi shrugged & asked what she was going to name him if everyone had gotten it right the first time & she said "satoshi"  ;     he tested out saying "i’m satoshi from masara town" & they both liked the sound of it, so it simply stuck.     the legal change-ups were very easy to make since hanako was friends with all the right people. ( ookido did do a double-take as his brain rapid-fire connected a whole bunch of dots from nearly forty years ago ) .

satoshi’s generally stealth purely because he doesn’t think it’s ever relevant to mention unless it actively comes up, whether by way of gendered experience talk or by someone seeing his top surgery scars.     because he hasn’t talked about it beyond these moments of relevance, he still hasn’t gotten to the point where he’s comfortable being perceived as feminine or "girly", so sometimes he overcompensates in the performative masculinity department.

he’d already socially & legally transitioned by the time he could head off on his journey, even if he’s been in no rush with even beginning his medical transition, so he’s always been comfortable skating around on the common assumption that he’s a cis guy with an unfortunate case of babyface.

while he doesn’t experience a lot of dysphoria on the daily (or all that much, really, nowadays), it tends to flare up when it’s regarding his appearance & how others perceive him, read, the whole "perceived as "girly"" thing.     he actually used to sometimes let his hair grow out the slightest bit more only to cut it right back to its usual length if anyone mentioned it in a positive light, just because he overthought it way too much, but he let it grow out after the pwc, thanks to nobody mentioning it for a long time doing so enough for it to finally be put into a decent tail, & he found he actually liked it, so that's far less of a concern nowadays.     however, while he’ll put on a skirt or dress if there’s nothing else to wear & feel just fine, he'll still scramble to find a pair of shorts or jeans the moment anyone comments on it or compliments how he looks because suddenly it feels wrong on him, even though he was fine just a second ago & he’d never think twice about another guy wearing a skirt, regardless if they’re cis or trans.

he managed to schedule in a few weeks for staying relatively put while in alola, after the first league conference but before the new pokéschool semester started, during which he got top surgery & spent some time relatively keeping out of trouble while recovering.     because he’s satoshi & because he has a high pain tolerance & heals, frankly, inhumanly fast, he was already off fighting ultra beasts two weeks post-op.     he asked for a fishmouth op because he thought it’d be funny if his scars looked like the edges of a monster ball lid.     he still thinks it’s funny.

for years he hadn't started hrt, partly because he’s a workaholic & thus typically only thinks about pokémon & battling, partly because he keeps moving & traveling from region to region & hadn't found a convenient way to combine that with transitioning, until very recently ; he's decided to become much more involved in the alola region's goings on, meaning he intends to regularly visit when the chance arises, & he's realized he can combine these visits with receiving testosterone doses, so, going forward, he's got an arrangement with one of the doctors working the same hospital he went to for top surgery.

[egophillie]

detransition, baby - reflections chapter 1

ok so hi, long time no see, apparently i am trans and back on tumblr. The girl I am seeing gave me the book "Detransition, Baby" by Torrey Peters and hell, this book is intense and really stirs all my feelings. Idk, I thought writing them out would help me and what better way then to do it on tumblr.

Ch. 1: Detransitioners. For ages there is this yt video popping up again and again in my recommendations (what they dont tell you about detransitioners bla) and I've been meaning to watch it yet I did not, like described in the book. Oh, yeah I finished the first chapter so here are some thoughts.

One thought I was having or am having is, that as a nonbinary trans whatever blob I am free and fluid to do whatever I want. Want to detransition? Ok ezpz its just my gender presentation even as a masc coded non binary person I'd still be fucking valid and accepted and part of the queers. At least to the same amount i would have been before as an amab trans/nb person. Which definitely is different and also less. Like as a gay man (even tho i am not gay (in a cis straight men gay sense) but whatevs) - acceptance, as a nb genderqueer whatevs - acceptance, but ofcourse the afab nb/trans queers seem to be accepted differently (also as described in the book but also from my personal experience). So tl;dr : as a genderfluid nb, detransitioning does not exist, because it does not make sense. Which is amazing.

But am I really genderfluid nonbinary? Or am I transfem? Ugh just trying to find a fitting category between fem, girl, women is overwhelming and exhaust. And yes I just took a 10minute break from this post and mindlessly scrolled through my blog. Ok. I like being a girl, instead of "just" a nonbinary genderfluid person. But I also feel that "the" girls are really mean and serious and though on each other. Like I am missing the lightheartedness of trying out gender, instead I am focussing on wether or not I'll ever be cis enough. Like wtf. I also guess it is a safety thing, maybe it is just "girlcode" aka cis womens way of acting and behaving to each other just with the added weight of being trans? idk, what if i am not ready for that commitment? what if i want to continue hormones but live a stealth detransitioned cis guy life?

The chapter named "it" (the transition) being too hard, too difficult, too dangerous, shortly too much for reasons why both the protagonist and a side character on which the book illustrated how the relationship towards detransitioned trans women works for trans women. And I also see that this is super justified and hard, and the bottomless pit of horror that is described in the book is definitely also present in me. Which is why I want to adress it, which is why we are here now.

So basically I for myself want this "feminist", nonbinary genderqueer ideas that I had on transitions (and therefore detransitions) also applied when it comes to binary trans women. Because prioritizing (physical) safety over gender expression is super valid and also really important, mature and aspirational. I wished I would be able to always prioritize my safety. Because as a women & as a nonbinary I am a feminist, and therefore I need to unpack the uncanny fear of detransitioning, for myself and for other trans girls.

One layer that definitely comes to my mind quickly when it comes to detransitioning is the fear of not being valid, of not being trans "enough". And how can I, just a few months into hormones and what, 1-2 years into transition, be valid & trans enough when people who transitioned way longer decide to detransition? Hormones definitely helped me with my dysphoria, now I start to realize that one thing they alleviated was that kind of insecurity and intrusiveness of validity. And while they definitely help with my dysphoria (amongst other things hihi), this certainty I had because "now that I took hormones I MUST be valid" is gone or at least got a good shake. I also think that this is a transmedicalist view and should be condemned and I also think I sound like the most baby trans ever.

Idk, I am still valid when I scrolled through my blog in an escapist moment while writing this thing I retrospectively found all the trans signs. So yeah still not the best thing to draw validity from, but I guess its better (at least for now) than being all shaken up, caught up in transmedicalist beliefs about the safety of hormones.

Ok I think I wrote down everything I had to say, made my little puns and feel different now? look at that growth, girl!

val, 03.04.2024

[erigold13261]

Hello, I am back again. I know you might be tired of these long winding asks, and I apologize. However, I cannot contain the Category Autism Event Level 7 TM in my mind, or I will explode. (Also, I wish you get that job you've been wanting to get <3 <3)

Here we go again into Crossover Land.

I just realized this. Haibara Yu's kanji name is 灰原雄、and the kanji that represents his given name is 雄, which not only means "brave", but also "male." As in the biological male. And... I like to imagine little Yu choosing the kanji bc he was a Real Boy. Older Yu thinks it was silly of him to do so. (But likes his name anyway.) (Also Yu is an androgynous name, so they might have just changed the kanji to represent who he was.)

Speaking of which, Yu was the first binary trans kid Gwen had ever known. And vice versa. Imagine the shock and joy when they find out that.

Yu was stealth trans until very recently.

Idk how Yu and Gwen found out, perhaps they were both going into the doctor's office for their hormones? (Yes Gwen started Estrogen while in Nueva York. No note has not gotten notes dad's consent.) (Maybe they wouldn't allow that to happen, but Gwen's body dysphoria was pretty bad.)

Commence a "Spider-Man Pointing at Each Other" or a "Spider-Woman and Ash-Man Pointing at Each Other" meme moment.

After a few days, Gwen gives Yu a friendship bracelet. A pink, blue, and white one.

Yu does not know what it means. And thinks that Gwen here has a crush on him, and wants him to wear her colors. But doesn't she like Miles????

Gwen realizes Yu is mistaking something drastically.

She picks up her phone, and points at the trans flag.

Yu did not know the trans flag, and gets more confused.

Gwen starts to frantically point at the trans flag more, to no avail.

He calls for Peni.

Peni comes and explains the misunderstanding.

Now Yu and Gwen wear matching friendship bracelets. T4T friendship for the win!

Well, now more people wanted friendship pride flag bracelets.

So Gwen (Yu, and Miles too) decide to make a bunch of them. A bi one (Miles), a gay man one (Satoru and later Ganke), an AroAce one (Nanami), a nonbinary one (Suguru), two agender ones, (Noir and Shoko), a genderqueer one (Margo), a genderfluid one (Peter Porker), two rainbow pride ones (Peni and Hobie). (I want to know Pav and Gayatri's queer HCs bc they made them one too)

Team bonding hurray!

Another less happy HC.

I wondered why in this world, Japan isn't known for its robotics or technology, and instead J-1, Vandelay, and that UK robotics company are.

Perhaps in this world, Japan fell behind after the economic collapse of the 1990s.

And instead maybe, they are known for people. Powered individuals. (JJK canon explains how sorcerers and cursed spirits are far more common in Japan than in other areas of the world.)

This is why the Gojo clan are rich. And Satoru is the first one in 400 years to be born with blues powerset.

This makes him important. As an asset. As a way to get on top of the food chain.

Then they need to control the boy.

They did just that. Control his friends, the places that he goes to. Every single move so that he can be on top.

It didn't work. Now the boy was hanging out with that Ripoff (Suguru), and that Freak (sorry Shoko).

(Shoko's healing is a good asset though. Might as well have them get married for more blood.) (HC that Shoko has a parent with an object head, making them less valid in that world)

Satoru even was in love with that Ripoff! How dare him! And even Shoko was in a scheme of... what?

Now he was useless, at least with that mindset.

Then Miguel and Olivia came in. Promised to help the boy and others control their powers.

They did not want Satoru or any of them around anymore. They agreed.

Yu was already friends with Nanami, but only heard of Satoru and Suguru before. As he was about to leave his home, he found a bus coming to him.

There was the SaSiSu three, and Nanami.

Yu is confused, but he leaves anyway.

But why weren't they having any luggage? Wearing their school uniforms? And sleeping?

(Olivia wanted them in full shape. An heir of the infamous Gojo clan was going to be an important asset that shouldn't be chipped or cracked.)

... sorry for this HC. I think it's pretty dark.

And a quicker one.

After Hobie realizes that Satoru was in a screwed-up home life, they decide to be a bit nicer to blues.

They know what it is like to be mistreated. And it understands that being a rich person does not equal happiness. (Something that Cyril knows too.)

Taught him music he was never allowed to listen to.

Now Satoru gets taught the drums from Gwen.

Blue loves it!

... sorry for the ask dump. (Might return for more haha/hj) Have a nice day/night!

Lol, don’t apologize! They are actually really fun to read (and now I am getting tiktoks with JJK references in them that I can kinda sorta understand lol)

Also thanks for the luck on my job! Hopefully I get it too (at the moment of writing this I am still waiting for a call back, will call back myself tomorrow afternoon if I don’t get one in the morning).

Anyway! Time to answer!

-Yu’s kanji: That makes me think of nonbinary people who name themselves after nouns for some reason. I don’t know why, but it’s a nice thing to think about since it was/is a name that makes them happy, and I’m glad to hear even if older Yu thinks it’s a little silly, he is still happy with his choice in name!

-Yu and Gwen: Oh wow, yeah! That is true! Gwen is just surrounded by a bunch of trans people who aren’t really binary trans. Didn’t even notice that till now! Neat!

But I can see the two bonding over that. Like it is nice to be surrounded by all kinds of queer people, but sometimes you want someone in an even more similar spot as you. I definitely think if Yu meets Remi he will be even more happy to meet another ftm trans person. Which might make Gwen feel left out a little, but I can see her finding out Tatiana is a trans woman, or even meeting Zimelu and just trying to get to know them and their experiences.

Honestly Gwen and Yu looking up to Tatiana and Neon J as elder binary trans individuals is a nice idea for me to think about. Even though those two don’t really flaunt their transness, they would definitely be willing to talk about it to make Gwen and Yu feel better about their own experiences.

-Stealth trans: Oh yeah, Yu and Neon J could probably have a really good conversation about their experiences as being stealth trans. Like Neon J literally only came out publicly for his kids’ sake as they were getting harassment from interviewers. Yu (hopefully) came out on his own to be more open about his transness but would still probably benefit from hearing about Neon’s experiences. I think Tatiana was never stealth, but also never fully flaunted it. She would tell people if they ask but wouldn’t just be telling without provocation.

-Hormones: I think you would definitely need parental consent at Gwen’s age. Well also Yu’s age, I think you said he would be 15-16. So I can see Yu getting parental consent and being able to go get hormones, but Gwen really wouldn’t. Jess would definitely have fought for Gwen to get them, but it would be shut down because Gwen isn’t emancipated and it could cause problems for Nueva York to give hormones.

Maybe Gwen could get puberty blockers at the very least without parental consent, like that would have been the compromise of Jess pushing for hormones. Though Gwen would definitely be given the proper clothes, accessories, other social transitioning options for note to have even if note couldn’t have hormones.

I can see Gwen talking with a nurse at the Nueva York doctor’s office and Yu overhears and wants to ask or talk to Gwen maybe (would Yu understand enough English at this point if he only knew Japanese?). Maybe he sees Gwen in some trans flag outfit or with a pin of some sort and that’s how he realizes. 

I don’t think Gwen could have been the one to figure it out because Yu was stealth (maybe note had an idea just from experience) but I do think Yu would be the one to figure it out in whatever way he does because Gwen is a bit more open about her transness than Yu is (at least at the moment she is more open about it).

-Point Meme: Yeah, if they both wear trans flags at one point, that would definitely be how they find out and react lol.

-Bracelet: For once Gwen is glad to have been forced into Nueva York’s arts-and-craft room (also I should probably read ahead because I could combine points like this and the last one, but I like reading asks point by point lol).

-Crush?: (okay yeah I need to read the next few points lol, so like this one point encompasses  the rest of the points until the break in paragraph)

OOOOH! So Yu doesn’t know what the trans flag is! Okay! So that wouldn’t be how they found out! Interesting!

Well, however they found out, Yu thinking Gwen has a crush on him because he doesn’t understand is kinda cute. Maybe he thinks her and Miles are just friends (or maybe he knows a bit about polyamory, probably not the word for it, and thinks this is some kind of relationship like that).

Imagine him going to Nanami for advice as to what to do and his aroace ass is of absolutely no help to Yu lol. 

Yu ends up letting Gwen know he thinks she has a crush on him and she so panicked (not in a bad way because maybe she could like Yu, but Yu was right that she likes Miles right now and that is who she wants). So it’s like 10 minutes of charades and maybe Gwen saying colors in different languages or trying to say something but all she knows is like 1 year of Spanish and a few words in French or something, so she is just being even more confusing to Yu.

So she quickly leaves and drags in Peni. Gwen is super embarrassed, but Yu probably laughs at the whole situation (Peni is definitely laughing) and it’s a fun story everyone ends up finding out about. Suguru or Satoru just screaming “rosa” and “azul” to be brats and embarrass Gwen a bit when she walks by, causing a small fight between them and Hobie who (although also found the situation hilarious) is willing to fight on behalf of Gwen lol.

Anyway, once all of that is settled, you better believe the group spent a ton of time pleading for computer time so they could look up flag colors and identities to make sure all these bracelets are accurate and in the right order!

Also, I don’t have any queer headcanons for Gayatri and Pavitr that are set in stone. I do like T4T or Bi4Bi, but honestly what if they were both aroace and together. Maybe one is aroace and the other is something else. I don’t know why I want one to be aroace, or at least asexual, but I do lol. I mean heck, I wouldn’t even mind he/him butch lesbian Pav and BiAce Gayatri. I want these two to be weird in their identities but also totally super confident and happy in themselves. So yeah, nothing concrete with these two, but they love each other and are weird but happy.

-Power/Tech Japan:

I will be honest before reading ALL of these points, the reason Japan doesn’t have a big robotics company in this AU (at the moment) is just because I haven’t found the right media to fill it. Honestly, Vandelay could have easily been in Japan, someone on one of my HFR posts said they personally saw Vandelay Tech as Japanese, while I personally saw it as in California for some reason. So it could have been a Japanese industry, but just how I saw it, it was put in the United States lol. (now I shall read the rest of the points :3)

There very much could be a robotics company in Japan (there’s definitely SOME, but maybe not to the level as the main 3), but I actually like the idea that some places just give birth to stronger powered individuals! I always wanted to think about how some places give different abilities, different elementals, different bodies (like object heads). Like I think South Africa is a place that has a lot of powerful people or that Korea might have more people with light based powers. So Japan being a place where more powerful people are from is something that could absolutely happen!

I can also see the Gojo clan being rich because of this. That is something I haven’t explored all that much is how powered individuals do tend to have more influence and say in the world around them. So families with very useful powers are definitely going to be using those privileges to get an upper hand in life.

Poor Satoru though. Having blues life be fully controlled is awful. I’m glad blue was able to find time to become friends with Suguru and Shoko (even if they did end up doing a scheme that probably irreparably damaged someone because of overhealing, draining power, and matter manipulation).

Shoko and Satoru potentially being in an arranged marriage would have been such a cool story line to look at. Maybe the Gojo family didn’t have any better option at their disposal so they would have been willing to overlook Shoko’s object-headed parent because of its power, but after the scheme went wrong and showed just how far Satory strayed from the family path, the family would have never wanted that girl’s blood in the family bloodline.

Once the scheme was brought to light (and probably brought bad recognition to the Gojo family), you better believe the family was willing to pay Miguel to take Satoru and try to “fix” blue into being a better kid that would follow orders. Nueva York absolutely got a big donation from the family to make sure this happened (also I just imagine Olivia having to contain her excitement at the thought of studying these powers and then Miguel had to contain his excitement when he realized how much money was being donated to Nueva York).

I wonder if Yu and Nanami tried talking with the SaSiSu three on the ride to Nueva York. I can imagine the three not being very talkative to anyone outside the three of them at that moment. Everything went wrong for them and they were now being shipped to who-knows-where. Definitely not the most happy ride any of them have had.

(also don’t apologize, it’s all good! Trust me, I have had more dark headcanons as well as people sending me in way darker stuff. So you’re all good!)

-Hobie lightens up:

Oh definitely. Once Hobie realizes that Satoru isn’t just a spoiled rich kid, they absolutely start trying to be nicer (not to say that the two still don’t bicker and fight a little bit, but nothing like what it initially was in the beginning).

Speaking of Cyril, I wonder if Hobie ends up talking to Cyril and telling him about Satoru Gojo. I can see Cyril knowing a bit of that family, maybe his mom knew them personally or something. She is a very famous singer with a voice similar to Gayatri, which is a very strong power to have. Perhaps there could be a neat little connection there somehow.

Anyway, Hobie and Gwen teaching Satoru rock and metal music is something I really like! Especially if Hobie shows Satoru some Ex-Jay music that is in Japanese. Imagine the three singing in Japanese to rock songs! That would be really fun! (Gwen doesn’t understand what she is singing and Hobie knows the gist of what it is singing. Satoru would know exactly what is being said and loves that blue is able to actually experience something with others that blue can fully understand without having to translate).

I wonder what instrument Satoru would like the best. I can imagine blue knowing how to play a more classical instrument because of blues family, so maybe something less traditional would be to blues liking. (for some reason I see Satoru in the middle of a room just dancing and shaking maracas around and it is very funny to me)

______________________________________

That’s all I have for now! thanks for the info dump! It’s always fun reading stuff like this! And honestly this is the perfect propaganda to push me into watching this show lol! Once I get time I honestly really do want to watch the show. It’s obviously not going to be exactly like this since this is an AU, but just seeing stuff on tiktok and your explanation of canon is starting to be enough for me to want to see what the show is really about! :3

You have a good day/night as well!

[autisticmight]

i made my ninjago oc back in 2011-12 because there was no air elemental. and air is objectively the best element (subjective opinion). and i made donner/donna, a girl who pretends to be a boy in order to train to be a ninja but is eventually accepted as a girl and is nya's best friend forever (unless... ;o)

and now that the years have passed and i am back on that bullshit, with a brand new recognition of gender dysphoria as a part of my brain issues, he has. changed. his name is still donna for now bc fuck it we ball, and he Thinks he's successfully pretending to be a boy in order to train to be a ninja but he's really bad at it. and everyone (with one exception) thinks he's a trans guy (which. they're right but it's not like he realises it at the time) and not mentioning it bc. like. they're not really sure how to act? like, some of them are definitely trans but this new kid barely cracks, even when one of them actively mentions not binding during training. (donna knows about trans people. he just doesn't realise that he, personally can Trans Gender)

thing is, because this guy is the master of wind, he makes wu's mental state go a bit. wobbly. because morro has been dead for decades, and, deep down, wu knows that, but he's spent decades leaving the monastery gates unlocked in the hopes that his son will come home. and then. someone shows up with his elemental power. which either means that 1) donna is descended from morro as a child or grandchild (look. ninjago aging is fucky even outside the fsm's bloodline. maya and ray fought alongside cole's grandfather. lilly died in her thirties, forties at the latest) or 2) morro is so dead that his element has returned to the world (i have. headcanons about the passing of elemental powers due to the state of death and afterlives in ninjago) and found a new host. he knows that option two is the most likely. he can't help but hope

anyway, the ninja understand that donna's presence has affected wu, but they figure he'll explain in his own time. this is a pre-lloyd time. they've barely heard wu's catchphrase at this point. he's allowed to be a mysterious old mentor guy. well, all of them do, except for the one exception from earlier. it's kai. there's a new person in the monastery, he's keeping secrets, he barely speaks, and he keeps hanging around nya. nobody else finds this suspicious (or, if they do, they mind their own bloody business) and so kai is on the hunt for anything to Prove that donna is a spy from garmadon/master thief/general evildoer

donna is just a guy who likes watercolour painting and dungarees who also has gender issues. he's trying to hide how he's ~really a girl~ (he is not. he's just being stupid about it) so he's kind of standoffish and silent to not give his ~true gender~ (again. this man is ftm) away. this is his Major Super Secret, which everyone already knows about. this is a completely personal thing, and is only related to donna's misconception of 'ninja' being gender-locked. wu's Tragic Backstory Secret is morro being his previous student/green ninja prophecy/fears of fucking up his students being brought even more to the forefront bc here is Windy Boy 2.0, which is related to donna but not his fault

kai doesn't know either of these things. so he's just. ninja-ing. ninjing. he spies on donna, sees him unwrapping his boobs (local guy binds with bandages like an idiot due to not having the resources) and goes to the others like "GUYS DONNA IS SECRETLY A GIRL," to which everyone else is like "DON'T BE A TRANSPHOBE KAI" (bonus points if kai is trans as well)

donna has a breakdown at ~Being Discovered~ (local ninja cannot go stealth to save his life, ironically) and, eventually, they all need to have Storytime With Master Wu to get everything straightened out

[shaftking]

This is trans group anon again 😅 Yeah, some of the mods are enby weirdos, and plenty of the other attendees are too, but sometimes there are some good moments in groups like those. We got into a good discussion a lil bit ago about rejecting the trans label and preferring to go stealth because of the interplay between nutty activists and nutty transphobes. It's awesome to meet full grown adult trans men and women with jobs and careers and families. For every person who says their gender is sparkles and their name is Scarf (genuinely not lying lol) there's a trans woman with a medical career talking about brain sex and explaining how it's the only thing that we've found to explain gender dysphoria. No one even complained about it, lol. I'd highly recommend going to a session or two just to test it out. You'll never know who you'll find 😄

Eh, maybe I’ll try it. But tbh the area I’m in? I don’t think we even have any.

[roleshirked]

To b fair, if a person has dysphoria that doesn't enter remission with therapy how much of a choice it is then to "be trans" (aka transition)vs do nothing?? idk i go back and forth on this bc yeah for several the trans id is like a cool club entry or a bandage for being ashamed of being gnc ("i'm not an ugly weird woman i'm a man / i'm not some embarrassing sissy perv im a normal woman like any other) but at the end of the day GD is a medical condition that might not be flexible to treatment

despite my post (i'm assuming this is from the greentext reblog) my thoughts mirror yours a lot anon, and it's something i find myself going back and forth on too. especially considering i have a handful of friends who are fully transitioned/"stealth" and don't give two shits for the whole ID part of it.

but i think my bottom line is that "being trans" should never be a game of identity, and in the event someone feels they have absolutely no recourse but to "transition" in order to alleviate symptoms of dysphoria, it should probably be treated with all the same levity as someone with cancer or severe psychosis. they need a team of experts to examine and help guide treatment options that are specific to their use case, as treatment can often be extremely taxing on the body, and may or may not wind up enfeebling someone beyond the state they initially entered medical care. in an ideal world treatment for sex dysphoria wasn't transition - in an ideal world, we'd have stronger therapy and psychoanalysis, and we'd be able to treat it in a way that is less invasive and more appropriate.

even having said this, at the end of the day, sex dysphoria is a mental illness. why are we treating the body to alleviate mental symptoms? we don't allow people with anorexia nervosa to tighten their gut. we don't practice lobotomies on people with depression (not anymore, anyway...) we don't cut off the arms and legs of people with phantom limb. nor do we look to the paranoid schizophrenics and indulge their delusions. because none of these things help the people in question beyond assuaging short-term feelings of distress - and going a step further, these short-term bandaids can often have long-term repercussions.

severity of sex dysphoria can be impacted by environmental factors too, and often shares co-morbidities with other disorders, namely EDs and mood disorders. for these reasons alone i feel it should never be treated in a vacuum

i'm also deliberately using sex dysphoria vs saying "gender" dysphoria even though i think the latter is what is (or was?) in the DSM5 because with how contentious the idea and concept of "gender" even is, pivoting the viewpoint of the disorder to something as concrete as sex makes much more sense when it comes to discussion i think.

sorry i rambled. tl;dr i agree with you at a first glance but i also think there's more just beneath the surface, and ultimately i really just wish we had better (and less biased...) research into it all, so we could generate better, more holistic resources & help & treatments & therapy that can actually treat the cause, not the symptoms. people deserve not just to be happy but to be healthy, too.

[transsherlock]

Trans Sherlock headcanons!

because... hello it's me ofc I'm making a post like this.

He took testosterone patches because it's easy to disguise them as nicotine patches (ib: @johnlocket ).

Eventually he went on injections though, and now John Watson helps him with taking them, since he's a doctor and can do it better. Also just cute Johnlock moment yk.

Sherlock isn't stealth, but he also doesn't go around telling people he's trans. If it comes up he will say it though, which is what has led to some confusing encounters with people who don't know it.

Despite the sibling rivalry, Mycroft has always been supportive. He started early saying "brother mine" as a way of telling Sherlock he accepts him.

We see Sherlock as a child in the series with short hair and presenting masculine in the series, so I interpret it as he has always wanted to have short hair and wear masculine clothing. His parents let him, and it was when he was older that he realized he's actually transgender and changed his name etc.

Sherlock binded unsafely a LOT. He already doesn't care much for his health, and that was just a thing to add onto the pile. When he came out to John, John made sure Sherlock took binding breaks.

Eventually though John Watson helped Sherlock get on top surgery waiting list and helped him through the whole process. Recovery as well.

The whole "Sherlock is a girl's name" might suggest it's actually his birthname?

If it's not his birthname I headcanon that it was a nickname or a name he chose very young. He was told by others that "it's not a girl's name" which he could've responded that it is. And he joked about it later in life as a coping mechanism.

He doesn't shower a lot not only because he neglects his health in general, but also because of gender dysphoria about his body.

[transmascwillbyers]

Hope you are having a great day!! Remember to drink some water today !! I love seeing your username all the time. Do you have headcannons for trans!Will?

tsym for the ask! Hope you're having a great day, too! I've got a few trans!Will headcanons, so here we are:

Will knew he was trans from a really young age (like, kindergarten ), but from a combination of internalized transphobia and just not having the language, he didn't come out until around a year before season 1, and felt really relieved and happy once he did.

Jonathan was the first person he told, because Will figured he was the most likely to understand how it felt to be an outsider/not fit it. Of course, Jonathan was super great about switching pronouns/names around different people, and always made sure to check with Will first before telling anyone he was a boy so Will didn't have to come out when he wasn't ready.

The party, or course, was also super supportive. Mike got how Will felt immediately because that's just kinda what he does, whereas Lucas spent a ton of time learning about what being trans was and how he could support Will the most in order to be the best ally he could. Dustin never fully wrapped his head around what being trans and having dysphoria was like, but he also figured that Will seemed happier as a boy, and that was all that counted.

Will started hormones right around s3. Joyce was super supportive and even threw him a "T party", which, of course, everyone he was out to attended. She also usually does his shots for him, since gel and patches are too expensive, and Will's still a little bit squeamish around needles after being examined at Hawkins lab so many times.

Will was stealth around El at first, but he came out to them once they decided to move in with the Byers, since he figured he wouldn't be able to avoid it anymore. El immediately responded with "oh, so I don't have to be a girl? I can be something else?" and has been out as non-binary ever since, because they/them El Hopper supremacy.

Once Will came back to Hawkins at the end of S4, Dustin and Steve steered him towards Robin pretty much immediately, and they formed a really close bond. Robin makes supportive trans jokes constantly, and will occasionally pick up Will's testosterone for him if he has can't make the trip to the pharmacy for some reason.

And finally, I'm not sure if this counts as a trans!Will headcanon, but Mike had a crush on Will before he came out, and even used it as an excuse as to why he couldn't be gay because "I still really like Will, right?" Then he learned his best friend had been a guy all along, and he questioned pretty much everything for about five minutes before burrowing back into the closet once again. Mike, we love you, but we all dearly hope you sort out your shit soon, you brilliant gay mess.

That's all for now, although I could always do more if people liked this! Thank you so much for the ask, and yet again, I hope you have a great day!

[mage-propaganda]

Trans men are pressured into femininity. They are also pressured into masculinity. I don’t see why these statements can’t co-exist.

(Long post warning)

Forced feminization is a huge “conversion therapy” tactic used against trans guys to try and convince them that they’re really “just women”. I’ve had this used against me, I’ve had feminine names pushed on me, I’ve had lots of aspects of femininity pushed on me. This was to “remind” me that really everyone will always see me as woman. I’m not alone in this. Many trans men experience this, it’s a very real trauma.

Most trans guys don’t want to be seen as “feminine”, certainly while they’re out and about - it’s often a trigger for dysphoria. Trans men want to be seen as men. Masculine trans men are often perceived as dangerous for simply being masculine. This is a truth. Trans men can enjoy being masculine, and they can also suffer from it as a result.

AT THE SAME TIME it is true that, for many people in many different places, masculine trans men is the “default”. The only safe way to live is to be stealth, and that is to be masculine. To be seen as GNC would be dangerous, even should they want to be. It is true that feminine or otherwise GNC trans men are often not viewed as “trans enough”. It often used against them “proof” that really they’re women. While Cis men, certainly in western countries (mostly by white people in white areas tbh) are being celebrated for embracing femininity, trans men are often admonished for it.

From personal experience the pressure to be masculine is real. I like many things that would be considered feminine, I’d like to wear things that would be considered feminine, and I hate myself for it. Because it’s not manly enough, I’m not “trans enough”, because it’s been drilled in me I have to be completely and totally masculine - at times to a toxic degree. I’m not the only trans man who’s experienced this.

The statements “Trans men should be allowed to be masculine, there is no harm in a trans man loving being masculine, masculinity isn’t a threat to anyone, trans men aren’t inherently dangerous for being masculine, trans men are often forced to be feminine, and being associated with femininity can cause dysphoria for some trans men” and “Trans men should be allowed to be feminine, there is no harm in a trans man loving to be feminine, just because a trans man likes feminine things doesn’t mean they’re faking being trans, trans men should not be attacked or put in danger physically or otherwise for not conforming to their gender” can exist at the same time!

Like sweet Aragorn eating a Canoly. People are going to find reasons to hate us regardless of whether or not you present masculine or feminine. People are going to misgender a lot of us regardless of how we present. We should be able to talk about our struggles and experiences presenting masculine, being masculine, without being attacked by other trans men who have different experiences. The reverse is equally true for GNC trans men. Why are we turning on each other?

I get like 5 “trans men should be masculine! Trans men don’t owe you femininity! We should celebrate masculine trans men!” Posts a day. We should celebrate masculine trans men! We don’t owe anyone femininity. I’ve seen people screenshot these posts and ridicule them for “complaining about being default” and that’s really fucked up.

I’ve also seen, less than the former, posts celebrating feminine trans men on my dash. Almost always there are comments/screenshots with comments about how you must “hate yourself for being a man” to be feminine, or how they “aren’t really a trans guy”, or how they have privilege when they go out or some shit along those lines. Which is fucked up!

Why can’t we can’t get along? It won’t be long before we revert back to the fucking truscum/tucute whatever garbage discourse again. As someone who’s more in the middle of all this discourse, who resonates with GNC and Masculine trans men, who just wants nuanced discussions and to be able to talk about the individualized & specific experiences or struggles of either party without it immediately triggering discourse - can we please just use our brains! Not everything is worthy of a block post, people don’t owe you an explanation or the feeling of guilt for existing.

Trans men don’t owe anybody Femininity. Trans men don’t owe anybody Masculinity. Trans men don’t owe anybody anything.

These statements can and should co-exist. I’m tired of seeing in fighting on my dash because one trans man wants to be a lumberjack man and another wants to wear pastels. Both should be celebrated, all trans men should be uplifted.

[strangewerewolf]

it is 1am and i’m starved for t4t percabeth content so here we go

ok so

Annabeth is a trans girl and Percy is a trans guy 

Percy knew he felt like a guy from a pretty young age (as in before he went to camp) 

The way the colour blue is associated with boys gives him euphoria and is part of why he likes it a lot. Plus, the whole thing of blue food being special goes with him being different bc of his gender and that colour is even on the trans flag!!

Sally picked out his name

When he told her how he felt, she immediately tried learning as much as she could to help him 

He could unfortunately not be put on blockers until he got to camp but he did start dressing more masculine, chop off his hair and got a binder as soon as he felt like he needed one. 

He was stealth at his boarding school (the one at the beginning of TLT, i can’t remember what it’s called) and Grover is one of the first people he told. 

He also told Mr Brunner/Chiron 

As for Annabeth, she figured it out during her first few years at camp. Since CHB is a pretty accepting place, she got time as a younger kid to dress how she wanted and explore her gender. Dionysus and Chiron helped her with it and since Mr D is basically the god of trans/gnc people in a way, he gave her some sort of godly/magic hormone blockers and gave some to Percy too 

the Aphrodite cabin helped her with makeup when she was old enough to use it.

Thalia picked her name, since she’s kind of an older sister figure to her.

Artemis, since she’s the protector of all women, changed Annabeth’s body and helped with her dysphoria. Unfortunately she couldn’t do anything for Percy.

Percy came out to her on their second quest, and then she came out to him. They were both surprised but glad to know that most people at CHB were accepting (Percy had never tested the waters there because he was stealth).

they’re both bi as fuck and go to pride together in matching tie-dye shirts.

i have so much more but i need to sleep holy shit

[385bookreviews]

2.96 The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson

SPOILERS

Pages: 344

Read Time: 3 hours and 13 minutes

Overall Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Storyline: ★☆☆☆☆ Dialogue: ★☆☆☆☆ Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

Genre: YA Fiction

TWs for the book: Transphobia, deadnaming, bullying, outing, homophobia, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault, mentions of genitalia, violence, alcohol, dysphoria, smoking, cussing, t slur

POV: First person; Leo and Kate (David)

Time Period/Location: Modern day Southern England 

First Line: One afternoon, when I was eight years old, my class was told to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. 

The Art of Being Normal tells the story of Kate (David), an in the closet trans girl going to Eden Park school, and Leo, a stealth trans boy from Cloverdale who gets transferred to Eden Park after experiencing an attempted sexual assault hate crime at his old school. Leo is set on not making friends or interacting socially until he stands up for Kate, who is being bullied. At this same time, he also falls for a girl named Alicia. Things get serious with her, and Leo starts tutoring Kate in math, and everything seems fine for awhile, but whenever Alicia and Leo go to have sex, he panics and finally tells her that he is trans. She immediately breaks up with him, and her best friend Becky does some digging and finds out that Leo is trans and tells the entire school. Leo is determined to run away and find his father down south in Tripton, but Kate insists upon going with him, offering to pay for everything. They go, and find his father, but he rejects him and calls him a freak, claiming to not know him at all. Leo is heartbroken, but him and Kate return to Eden Park and Cloverdale. Kate comes out to her parents and she is accepted, and Leo finally learns what really happened between his mom and dad. Kate and Leo both return to school, and the night of the Christmas Ball, their friends, Essie and Felix, reveal that they have set up an “alternative Christmas Ball” to happen at the abandoned pool in Cloverdale, and Kate and Leo go together, Kate finally getting to dress like a girl in front of her peers. At the end of the book, Alicia comes and finds Leo at his house and apologized for the way she acted and for not standing up for him to Becky, and they agree to start over as friends.

Kate (David) Piper: Kate was a really awkward narrator. It feels like she doesn’t even view herself as a girl, and she is never referred to as such until the end of the book. When Leo reveals to her that he is also transgender, her immediate response is, “You’re a girl??” and “Were you in disguise at your old school too?” which is very out of character and very odd. She is out to her two best friends, and even alone they never use her preferred name or pronouns, and she never expresses discomfort at this either. She also performs these neurotic “inspections” of herself, that are very uncomfortable and awkward to read about. It’s almost like the author forgot Kate was trans until it furthered the plot.

Leo Denton: Leo is kind of an asshole honestly. He can be very mean to Kate and up until the last chapter of the book he never genders her correctly or uses her proper name. He offers no support to Kate at all. Also the fact that he didn’t reveal to Alicia until the moment they were about to have sex that he was trans didn’t sit right with me either, and then was mad like it was her fault that she felt lied to. Granted Alicia didn’t handle it the best, but honestly, in that situation, I would be upset too. Sometimes it isn’t safe to be out at first, but it never should have gotten that far without him telling her. Alicia wasn’t some kind of transphobe for not wanting to have sex with him, proven by the fact she kept it a secret and defended him to her friends, and also tried to make amends with him in the end. Having a genital preference is valid. 

Essie and Felix: Supposedly Kate’s two best friends in the whole wide world, they were both very flat characters that had no development. They claim to be supportive of Kate but show no effort in supporting her transition until after she comes out to her parents. Her friends describe her as gay for having a crush on a cis guy, even though she has told them she is trans. Kate doesn’t correct them.

Livvy Piper: Ok I am making a specific reference to Livvy, Kate’s younger sister here, because the entire way she is written and her purpose in the story is really gross. Kate specifically mentions her bra size and when she gets her period and sees her as everything she can’t have. It’s very weird and very uncomfortable. 

Storyline: Honestly, you can tell this book was written by a cis woman. I feel as if no trans people were consulted on this at all. The story itself at its bare minimum was good, but it fell really flat as far as good representation. She makes passing seem like such an easy thing, the second that Leo and Kate are dressed in boy and girl clothes respectively they instantly pass with everyone they meet. She makes it seem like passing and being stealth are the goals when it comes to transitioning, which it is not for a lot of people. Also, Leo’s trans experience as a stealth, socially transitioned person is more validated than Kate’s ever is. There are a lot of mentions of deadnames, and whenever a character comes out they always say things like “I’m a girl trapped in a boy body” and “I was born a girl”. And please, for the love of god, if you are a cis author, do not write your characters saying slurs like tr*nny. In my opinion, cis authors shouldn’t be writing books about the trans experience when it is not something they have first hand experience about.

Representation: Leo is FtM transgender, Kate if MtF transgender. There is brief mention of a lesbian couple holding hands. As far as trans representation goes, it’s horrendous. Alicia and her parents are the only people of color in the entire book.

Summary: Overall, this was a really bad representation of trans youth, and the fact that this book is marketed towards kids in the 12-16 age range makes me really pissed off. It’s good to have trans rep and books about trans experience but it was not done or handled well and I was fairly uncomfortable reading it as a trans person. 

[the-bjd-community-confess]

On the topic of gender, pronouns, and that stuff in this hobby I'm a bit curious how people under the trans label feel about being asked for their gender and pronouns? This community has a lot of trans and nb people in it, and I've seen some mixed opinions, but none where I'm really ever sure if we got a more unified opinion on this to make it easier for everyone involved. Thoughts?

I'm an enby who prefers just introducing myself with my pronouns, instead of having people ask me. My thoughts are that I'd rather just introduce myself as "Hi my name Enby Nb-I use they/them pronouns, thanks!" than have some stranger ask me. It gives me the chance to take this at my pace, than someone else's. If you assume my gender because of how I present, you're not an asshole until you still call me by the wrong pronouns after I told my actual pronouns, or even gender. You know? Asking puts me on the spot to answer, and some times I might not feel safe, or I'm just uncomfortable about that being what a stranger focuses on first thing, some times also makes me feel like they want me to tell them my assigned gender with how they ask. I think some trans people might know that type of question. : /

Asking other trans folks how they feel btw. This is just my view and how I feel, so tell me your thoughts. Thanks!! : D I've seen some people say to ask people for their pronouns in community spaces, but from my experience I've seen more people prefer to take the first step themselves, instead of being asked, I'm guessing for the same "at my pace" reason as I have? Especially since I know some trans people really don't like the question bc of dysphoria, they're stealth, or just because it feels a bit weird to feel like their gender is being doubted by strangers. If a trans woman presents as a woman openly, and you ask her what her gender is, because that's kinda what asking for pronouns implies, it's honestly really a bit awkward, or vice versa with a trans man. I'm just going from what I've talked about with people in the hobby I know with this though, so maybe some I don't know have different opinions.

~Anonymous