#OK here comes the vent part

[zarafey]

The frustration I feel at me now because I got frustrated at a stranger on the internet and started arguing over a video game... I need to work on my boundaries

(whoops tags got maxed, guess that means the vent is over now)

[lewsvnc]

😸.

[yakkitylylac]

heehee hoo i love anxiety i love being anxious over people not reblogging my stuff

[gaythreadrunner]

so you're taking care of your computer's software health. NICE! but what about its physical health?

because yes, computers do need the occasional real-world checkup to make sure that they're running well. but what exactly does that entail? i see many posts about maintaining software health: limit your browser tabs, ensure your antiviruses are working properly, so on and so forth, but checking the physical components is something i sparsely see discussed here.

so what's the deal with physical maintenance? well, have you ever had your computer hack and wheeze trying to keep up even if your OS and all your drivers are up to date and functioning? if you've never opened up your computer before, you may be shocked to find just how FILTHY it can get in there:

take a closer look at that snout dust! PTOOEY .. BLECKH

computers are much more likely to accumulate internal dust if they're sitting on the floor, and especially if they're near any vents and/or if you have pets.

ok, you've figured out how to open your device and now you're staring at the second coming of the dust bowl in your gaming rig. what now? let's explore some basic cleaning tips, deep cleaning pointers for your CPU/GPU, and tips to help keep maintain your computer's physical health in the future.

first of all, turn off your computer and unplug it (for my computer, i turn it off, turn off the PSU switch, unplug it, and then press the power button for about 30 seconds to drain the capacitors and minimize static risk)

generally, you're gonna want to have THESE items:

some sort of face mask (dust masks are best, but anything that'll help keep the harmful dust out of your lungs will generally work)

a can of compressed air (or an electric duster if you're ~fancy~. they look and function like turbo blowdryers)

a vacuum will be useful if there's a LOT of dust, best to use in combination with an anti-static cleaning kit

if you ARE gonna use a vacuum, spray every attachment you use with an anti-static spray. disturbing large amounts of dust creates a lot of static, and electronics are very sensitive to that.

it's never a bad idea to grab an grounding wristband as well, but as long as you wear loose clothes and always keep some part of your skin in contact with the case, you should be ok. (i don't know how much this applies to laptops and smaller devices, since the cases for those are typically plastic)

if there's staining (like from smoke) or there's more gunk caked on than you thought, you can gently clean electronic components with a brush/paper towel/microfiber and medical-grade isopropyl alcohol ONLY. do not use any other cleaning alcohols for this task.

before you do anything, TAKE THAT FUCKER OUTSIDE! always clean a dusty device where the wind can carry that shit away, because oh my GOD will it fuck up your lungs like crazy. (that, and compressed air cans have fluorocarbons in them, which isn't great to breathe in either)

most of the time, you'll probably be fine just using an air duster. for compressed air cans, spray the dirty surfaces in short bursts. an electric duster can be constantly blown. when dusting fans, make sure that you're holding the blades still as to not accidentally make them spin too fast (ESPECIALLY with an electric duster!), since that can damage the mechanism that makes them spin.

however, if there's a lot of dust, it may be better to give it a vacuuming first. anything from a handheld to a shop vac will work, and attachments with brushes on the end will help tons with loosening up even more dust. and of course ALWAYS make sure that you're spraying any attachments with anti-static spray, and keep a hand on the case of the computer to electrically ground yourself since the hose will be in contact with the internals.

if there's any left over, give it a blast with the duster.

in some rare cases, there may be some extra gunk caked onto the internals, and you may have to really get your hands in there or take components out individually. if you don't have an anti static wristband (the ones with an alligator clip) do your best to ALWAYS keep your skin in contact with the case as you're finagling around in there.

it's probably a good idea to have disposable gloves on for this. grab your isopropyl and towel of choice (microfiber is ideal, but dirtier PCs may need disposable paper/shop towels), soak it a little bit, and gently scrub off the gunk n' grime as needed.

with heat sinks specifically, since they're just big blocks of metal, they're the one part of a component that can be cleaned under water. if a dusting doesn't suffice, gently scrub it with a brush under warm, soapy water, rinse thoroughly, and let it dry on a towel for a few hours before reassembling it into the electronic components.

if there's still little bits stuck in the radiator fins, stick an isopropyl-soaked q-tip in there to push it out.

the dust settles, everything's put back together, and it's all clean in there again. YAY!!!!! but what if you're still experiencing temperature problems? well, it typically comes down to either the CPU or GPU:

IF ITS THE CPU: if you took off the cooler to clean it, then i hope you remembered to dab some fresh thermal paste on there. you should be replacing thermal paste few years, otherwise it dries out and loses its effectiveness.

the type you use makes a huge difference too; i like to use arctic's mx-4, it has excellent thermal conductivity while still being an electrical insulator, so spillover isn't a problem. if you go for a liquid metal compound, please do your research first, since some of them can run the risk of corroding the cooler pipes and/or the CPU's outer casing.

to replace thermal paste, make sure that the crusty old paste is sufficiently scrubbed off the contact points of both the CPU and cooler. again, use isopropyl for this. once it's all cleaned off, put about a pea-sized amount of paste on the CPU and carefully lower the cooler onto the mounting bracket before fastening it in place. (also it really doesn't matter how you put the paste on, as long as it ends up covering most of the contact area)

also if you're still using the cooler your CPU came with, you should probably get a better cooler. especially if you're doing gaming or using graphically/mathematically intensive software. sorry. the stock coolers that most CPUs come with are mid as hell. you can get a nice ARGB one for less than 20 USD i promise its worth it

IF ITS THE GPU: like CPUs, your graphics card also needs to have its thermal paste cleaned out and replaced every so often. but they also utilize a second thermal material called thermal pads. these are usually made of either silica gel or a very thick clay-like grease, and come in different thicknesses. my favoured pads are owltree's 12.8w grease pads, the assorted pack comes with enough for about 4-5 GPUs.

taking apart a GPU seems scary, and understandably so; they're incredibly expensive and hard-working pieces of technology! but i've done it twice now, and it's actually surprisingly simple (as long as you keep track of all the damn screws... im lucky there's a magnetized screw mat in the house i can use)

i recommend watching a deep clean/teardown video of the GPU model you have before digging into it yourself. generally, they separate into 4 distinct portions: the outer shell, the heatsink, the board, and the backplate.

the shell contains the fans and any possible RGB elements. it'll have 1-2 controllers plugged into the board, one for the fans and one for the lighting elements if there are any. once the case is unscrewed, unplug these connectors with a firm squeeze and tug.

these tend to be surprisingly dusty on the inside, so it's probably a good idea to blast it with a duster. again, make sure to hold the fans so they don't overspin. you can also remove the fans from the shell and clean them individually if you'd like.

the heatsink is BIG and heavy, and you can do all the same stuff here that you would with a CPU cooler heatsink. it may take a bit of effort to tug off if the thermal materials are really making it stick to the board. once it's off, scrub the old thermal paste, blast it with a duster, and wash under soapy water if needed before rinsing thoroughly and leaving it to dry for a while.

the backplate is just a flat piece of metal that protects the back side of the board. usually all this will need is a simple wipedown.

the board is where all the magic happens, and will usually have a layout that's something like this:

clean up as needed; gently scrub off old thermal paste, scrape off the old thermal pads (but take close note of how thick they are so you can replace them with the correct pads), and brush/wipe down the dust and grease on each side as needed. take care to avoid touching the PCIe connector too much (the bar of golden pins that juts out from the bottom)

thermal padding varies from card to card (i recommend checking thermal pad placements for your gpu in water cooling guides, even if you're not doing water cooling) but it's typically gonna be on THESE spots:

the VRAM chips surrounding the die (main chip) along with the small black chips next to the capacitors will require thermal pads the most. cut each one to size, carefully peel off the plastic films, and press each piece onto the chips.

now you can grab your thermal paste and put some on that big shiny die. now take your freshly pasted/padded board and CAREFULLY lower it back onto the heatsink. i highly suggest having a good source of lightning for this, since shifting around the pieces too much trying to get them to align properly can displace the thermal pads and mess with how the paste spreads.

screw the heatsink tight to the board, and double check to make sure that the pads and paste are snug against the heat sink. now put the backplate and shell back on and BAM YOU'RE DONE! with the paste and pads i used, i was able to bring down the temperature of my cards by a good 10-15 °C.

ok you've done all this deep cleaning shit and your computer is happy and healthy. what can you do for your computer's health in the future?

DUST AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. haul that thang outside and spray that shit out to stop it from building up for too long.

KEEP IT OFF THE FLOOR. if you can, of course, not everyone has the desk room for it. computers accumulate dust easier when they're close to the floor. if you do need to keep it on the floor, you might have to dust it every 6-8 months rather than once a year.

AND STOP PUTTING YOUR LAPTOPS ON SOFT SURFACES I SWEAR TO GOD

GET A FAN CONTROLLER. motherboards are DOGSHIT at maintaining fan speeds!!!! there are physical fan hubs that use controller software, but if you can't afford that, fancontrol by rem0o is a stellar software-only option.

IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE CASE FANS, GET THEM. the number of fans depends on the motherboard form factor your case can accommodate (ATX cases typically have 6-8), but having that air circulation is very important to maintaining ideal temperatures. arctic makes fantastic budget-friendly fans.

IF YOU HAVE AN NVMe HARD DRIVE: please put an aluminum heat sink on that thang. they get toasty :(

OK THATS IT I THINK. if anyone else has tips they wanna add, go right on ahead. ok thank you bye your computer will love you

[arieslost]

falling for you | op81

oscar piastri x fem!reader

summary: you and oscar should be more than just friends, but neither of you realize it until you’re on vacation… and his girlfriend is there, too.

word count: 2,956

warnings: angsty moments

masterlist — join my tag list here!

PART TWO

shoutout to my dream journal- i got this idea from a dream i had in 2021. also disclaimer, i love lily, she’s so sweet. we’re pretending that oscar is dating someone else here ok thanks <33

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

For the first time in your life, you were regretting taking a vacation, and it was all Oscar Piastri’s fault.

Your family and the Piastris had been going on vacation together for as long as you could remember, and you’ve been best friends with Oscar for just as long. He was in the background of every defining moment of your life. He could say the same about you— best friends forever.

And then, like the idiot you are, you went and fell in love with him. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint how, or why, or when; all you knew was that you woke up on the second day of your vacation, walked into the kitchen, saw him pouring himself a bowl of cereal, and it hit you like a damn truck.

“Good morning, sweetie,” your mom says, barely noticing your slightly panicked expression as you realized that you were very much in love with your best friend.

“Morning,” you mumble back, unable to tear your eyes away from Oscar.

He notices you staring at him, your eyes as wide as saucers, and frowns. “You okay? There’s still some of this in the box, I saved it for you.”

Great. Of course he has to be so thoughtful all the time.

“Yeah, ‘m fine. Thanks, Osc.” You squeeze his arm as you pass by. He smiles at you, like he always does when you do that, and you want to die a little.

Especially when his girlfriend enters the room.

It’s the first time either of you have a significant other during your annual vacation time, and while you had aggressively lobbied against it (Oscar obviously had no clue), your parents and his parents had agreed to let her come. You were furious about it for weeks and couldn’t figure out why.

Well, now you know.

You can’t even enjoy your cereal, especially not when she kisses Oscar for everyone to see and then makes direct eye contact with you and smirks when he’s not looking. So, you decide to spend the entire day completely Oscar-less, as much as you wish you could just have him all to yourself like you always do when you’re here.

The thing is, you’ve never liked his girlfriend, obvious reasons aside. Even before Oscar started dating her, you’d never gotten along with her. It was like she had a personal vendetta against you, and always tried her hardest to be touchy with Oscar whenever she saw that you were in her line of sight. The most infuriating part is that literally no one else ever notices her behavior except you. Not even Oscar, your so-called best friend. Normally, you’d go to him to vent about something like this, because he’s always understood you in ways that no one else ever will. Now he’s the last person you can go to.

It sucks. You’re angry at your parents, his parents, and especially him for asking if he could bring her along in the first place.

You end up spending your entire morning and most of the afternoon at the beach. You don’t put on enough sunscreen because there’s no one there to make sure you use the proper amount. You hate getting sunburn, but you’d take that over seeing Oscar with his girlfriend. By the time you get back to the rental, everyone is off doing their own thing. Your parents are putting together a puzzle in the living room. Oscar’s parents have the door to their room shut, and you can hear the TV playing. You don’t have the courage to go looking for Oscar himself– once you see that he’s not in your shared room, you know that he’s either out or in his girlfriend’s room. Either way, you don’t want to know.

That was another thing that makes you wish this vacation never happened: Oscar had been allowed to bring his girlfriend, but the only condition was that the two of them had to sleep in separate rooms. That meant the two of you shared a room like always, but that didn’t mean he didn’t take every possible chance he could to go to hers, meaning you’re alone most of the time.

You might as well just pack up and walk home to save yourself the struggle of five more days.

It doesn’t seem like anyone is around to hear, so you let out a loud, frustrated groan as you flop back onto your bed. You look to your right, past Oscar’s bed, at the flowy curtains hanging in front of the doors that lead to the deck outside. One of the doors is ajar, and the slight breeze makes the curtains flap gently.

“You okay, sweetie?” Of course your mom heard you from all the way down the hall.

“Yeah,” you reply in a way that makes it very obvious that you’re not okay.

“Ah, I know that tone.” Your mom says, crossing the room to sit at the foot of your bed. “You need a boyfriend. You wouldn’t be this mopey if you had someone here with you, too.”

Like Oscar does. “You’re telling me,” you scoff bitterly. “I guess I’ll try a little harder for next year.”

“Well, are there any boys you’re interested in?” She asks, rubbing your leg comfortingly.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, turning your head away from her so she can’t get a perfect view of your face heating up as you think about your best friend.

She hums. “Yeah, I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“It’s Oscar, isn’t it?”

You cover your face with your hands. “Ugh! Leave now, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

“Nice try.” Your mom pries your hands away and gives you a look. “I just don’t think it’s the best idea that you like Oscar. He doesn’t exactly have the most stable lifestyle.”

“He doesn’t need stability, he’s rich.” You shoot back. “I don’t even care about that, Mom. I’m not exactly interested in him because of his lifestyle.” You consider not saying it, but you’ll feel better getting it off your chest. “And his girlfriend is a bitch.”

“You’re right,” your mom says, and you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “I hate his girlfriend. I’ve always thought that you’re much better suited for him.”

“No kidding. Known him his whole life, everyone thought we were dating growing up, we’ve gone through just about everything together. I guess that simply doesn’t compare to the girl he’s known for five whole months.” You’re being snarky now, and you can’t find it in you to care. It should be you dating Oscar.

Everyone else seems to think so except him.

Your mom laughs, but in a way that you know that she agrees with you, as childish as you’re being. She continues to rub your leg, and the comforting motion has your eyes drooping. The stress of your newfound feelings and the warmth of the sun on your skin is more than enough to tire you out.

“Nap time?” She asks eventually, and you nod slowly.

“Mhmm.”

“I’ll come wake you up before dinner.” She kisses the top of your head, gets up, and then says something that has you wide awake. “Hey, Oscar. She’s sleeping.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll be quiet.” You hate the calming effect his voice has on you, even though now just looking at him has sent your heart racing.

One of them shuts the door, and shortly after you can feel the bed dipping under Oscar’s weight as he lays down next to you.

“Hey,” he whispers. “Missed you.”

I missed you more. Jerk.

“I know you’re awake,” he continues. “But you don’t have to talk to me.”

Good.

“I guess I deserve the silent treatment.”

Your resolve cracks a little, because he sounds genuinely upset. As much as you want to, you don’t open your eyes, but you do turn around to face him and move closer in the process. You can smell the faint traces of his cologne, and you have to fight a sigh of contentment. Damn him for always making you feel so safe. Besides, you’re a little cold now thanks to the air conditioning.

Your eyes nearly fly open in shock when he wastes no time in pulling you closer so you’re properly cuddled into his side and puts his arm around you. He lets out a breath, like he’s relieved, before he moves around a little and leans his head against yours.

The logical side of you is screaming to quit the sleeping facade and confront him right here and now about this rather intimate behavior, but the side of you that just discovered the strong feelings you harbor for your best friend tells you to just play along and enjoy whatever alone time you have with him. It’s not hard to pick which side to listen to.

The two of you stay this way for so long you start falling asleep again, and it only gets worse when he starts rubbing your back. It starts out very subtle; at first, his fingertips just move up and down along the fabric of your shirt. He stops for a moment, like he’s considering the outcomes of his actions, and then flattens his palm against your back and continues the up and down motion. You bury your head in his chest, mostly to hide the fact that you’re turning red but also because you just want to be closer to him. He hums a little when you do it, and you have to stop yourself from weighing the logistics of whether or not you could get away with kissing him right here and now.

You have to fight the urge to sleep, wanting to soak in every moment of his strange but welcome actions. Maybe this is all just an elaborate dream– either way, you’re not going to sleep through it.

The sound of him sighing again catches your attention, but you’re entirely brought back to reality when he starts moving.

You fully give up. You don’t want him to go, so you say his name quietly and look up at him.

He sits up a little to look back at you, and you reach up to smooth away the crease between his eyebrows with your thumb. “We’re on vacation. You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“So are you.” He points out.

Of course he’s picked up on it.

“It’s complicated.”

“Talk to me,” he encourages, shifting so he can keep you close. His little polite cat smile nearly has you spilling your guts to him about how much you wish you were the one he was kissing in front of everyone.

You press your lips together. “I… I can’t, Osc.”

You always hate his crestfallen expression, but you hate it more when you’re the cause of it.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?”

“I know,” you reassure him. “Just… not this. Anything but this.”

He hums again, but not in the happy way that he did before when you were practically trying to crawl into his skin. This is more like a hum of concentration.

You have a moment of hope, thinking that maybe he’ll just let it go, but you know your best friend better than that. It doesn’t change your shock when he speaks again.

“Okay. I think I know what this is about.”

“I seriously doubt you do.” You can’t help but laugh a little. How could he possibly know about something that you yourself only just discovered?

He gives you a specific look then, a look that you have always despised being on the receiving end of. It’s a look that tells you he’s expecting you to explain yourself and see if he’s right. He usually is right, which only makes it worse.

“No.” You shake your head, starting to try and find a way to get up. “No, Oscar, don’t make me say it.”

He isn’t having it though: his arm stays snug around you, and he puts one of his legs between both of yours, hooking his ankle around yours so you can’t escape.

“Oscar,” you whine. “No fair, with your stupid reflexes.”

He whines your name back in the same exact tone. “Shouldn’t try to get away from me, then.”

You let out a groan of frustration. “I’m not telling you anything.”

Someone walks out into the hallway, and the sound of the footsteps coming towards your room makes the both of you freeze. The two of you are in a rather precarious position, with your limbs tangled and Oscar practically on top of you. Not that you necessarily mind, but if anyone walked in right now, eyebrows would be raised.

Oscar seems to be thinking along the same lines as you, meeting your wide-eyed stare with his own but not making any effort to move away. It clicks in your head at that exact moment, just as it did in the morning when you walked into the kitchen.

He does know.

“How?” You whisper, too wrapped up in your disbelief to even be embarrassed.

“I know you better than anyone,” he whispers back, head whipping towards the closed door when you hear a creak, like someone’s weight is shifting on the floor.

The footsteps recede. You both let out a breath, turning to face each other again. You’re close. Too close. Close enough that you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

You remember the last time you were this close to him— you were both 14, playing hide and seek at midnight at a friend’s birthday party. He’d accidentally chosen the same hiding place as you, a desk with a rolling chair in front of it, and you’d been forced to squish together underneath the desk in order to conceal yourselves well enough. You were mad that he chose the same spot as you because it raised the likelihood of being found, and he’d just giggled at you every time you glared at him. You remember how much you loved his giggle, and how you’d wondered what it would be like to kiss his smile.

Well. You really have been in love with him this whole time.

You want nothing more than to crawl under the bed and stay there for the rest of the vacation so you don’t have to look him in the eye. You never want to speak to him again. You want to tell him everything. You want to push him away. You want to hold him closer.

“Tell me I didn’t ruin our friendship.” Is all you can think to say, and Oscar reacts immediately, brushing your hair out of your face and hugging you tightly.

“Honey, you could never ruin this.” He presses his nose into your hair, brushes his lips against your head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not the one who should be sorry,” you grumble into his chest.

He doesn’t answer, instead choosing to alternate between playing with the ends of your hair and drawing shapes on your shoulder with his fingers. He’s always been affectionate with you, but this is a whole new level, and your overthinking has you worried that you’ll lose it entirely as soon as the two of you have to leave this room and face the reality of the situation. You close your eyes, trying your hardest to soak up every little detail of this moment in the event that you never get another like it.

You know Oscar thinks you’re asleep when, much to your dismay (and maybe his, too), he gets up and gently lays you back against your pillow.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this,” you hear him say, and then you feel his lips press firmly against your temple, his hand leaving the most featherlight touch on your cheek. “I’m sorry, baby.”

The soft material of a blanket covers your body, and the door opens and shuts. Your tears waste no time in soaking into the pillowcase.

You’re regretting this vacation, but it isn’t Oscar’s fault.

He’s not the one who fell in love with the one person he can’t have.

Things change, but not at all in the way you expect. Oscar still throws an arm around you for every picture and hoists you onto his back without hesitation for the obligatory piggyback photo that has been a vacation tradition since forever. His girlfriend still looks at you like you’re the pebble she can’t get out of her shoe, but for every dirty look and intentional display of affection, Oscar is there to make up for it. He goes to the beach with you and makes sure that you apply enough sunscreen, he goes to the amusement park with you even though he hates most of the rides, he takes you to breakfast at the risk of his girlfriend throwing a fit when you get back. She does, but he doesn’t care. He does it every year, and he tells you that he’d be damned if he didn’t keep up with it.

Maybe he pities you. It doesn’t matter. You can live with never even having a chance with the boy you think you’ve always wanted something more with, so long as you can continue to call him your best friend.

He leaves for his next race on the last day of vacation, and his girlfriend goes with him. You support him from home. He calls you every single day.

Oscar has never been able to go more than 24 hours without hearing your voice. He’s never been able to fully express just how much he needs you, and now he has to face the obstacle of breaking up with his girlfriend before he can even try.

note: this fic was low key my personal everest and i changed the ending at the last second because i hate angst. if anyone is interested in a part two, let me know because i’d be happy to write it at some point!

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are always appreciated <33

beautiful dividers by @/saradika !

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @littlemiss-arabella @notturlover @verstappensrealwife @oliveisunstable @hauntedphotographybookstaco @maddie-bell @hood-jabi @jupiter-je-taime @uzisplanet @akiraquote @average-f1-enjoyer @xo-mya1 @beth-712 @bingewatche @alex15marie @ana2delusional @tomhollandfics @cixrosie @simpluvrs @meko-mt

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 6

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Angry Everyone, Death is mentioned, Wanting Death, Shock, Grief, PTSD Flashback, Panic, there is a parallel to a person jumping off a bridge (NOT ACTUALLY)

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters:  Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings. This is the first half of a chapter that had me crying as I wrote it. This is something that you all need to take into consideration... I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE ONCE AGAIN. My asks are always open for you guys to vent about this one.

Also remember, this is a fanfic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously:

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about half an hour of hushed talking, while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

Now:

The minute Minho saw who it was entering the room his whole body went rigid, his hands in fists at his side as he got up and used his body to block whoever it was. He motioned for the boys to get closer to the bed. All of them standing, ready to jump. 

“Just let me talk to her,” Bin’s vision started getting blurry, on the verge of blacking out with rage. He looked down to you, very unbothered by the sudden voice that assaulted the tranquility of the room. The first tranquil moment you've had in months. Months of your husband hiding and sneaking. And months of you planning and working excitedly making every detail perfect. 

Bin made a split-second decision to lightly cover your ear that wasn't to his chest. Trying to prolong the inevitable. 

Next up was Han as he said in a hushed tone, “she’s finally asleep. You are not coming in this room, Chris.” His tone was dark and that one sentence rolled off of his tongue like a warning. 

“She’s my wife. I am going to see her whether you like it or not.” He sounded annoyed. Like this was an inconvenience. Bin did everything in the book to calm his heart, which was starting to spike at just hearing his voice. 

Bin went on an internal tirade, how dare he come here? Killing your child wasn't enough? Making you so stressed out that you almost bled to death wasn't enough? Ripping your heart out and trampling it… not enough for him? NOOO let's show up when it's convenient, when no one expects it, playing the 'husband' card. When Bin knew he CLEARLY gave up that title already. 

Especially when you did everything to be available for him. When he started to pull away you came to Bin and Han in tears, not knowing what to do. You love him so much that you actively went to find out what it was. Was it your weight? Did you talk too much or not enough? Did you ask for too much? Did you seem too boring? He has already been enough of a plague on your life already. 

Minho giggled darkly, “You really want to die today, huh? Did you not hear Han, she’s resting. Now go away.” 

“Not until I see her.” His voice raised slightly. The bite in his voice made Minho want to strangle him, to be honest. He doesn’t have any entitlement to you. Especially after what he’s done. As far as what Minho thinks, Chris was never your husband. No husband neglects their wife. No husband makes their wife lay awake at night, worried about if he had eaten or not, or if she’d even see him when she woke up. 

That was enough for you to stir on Bin’s chest. Bin had to think quickly as he said "It's okay, go to sleep, Angel. I'm here," in the most delicate whisper. That was enough to knock you out again, humming against his chest. 

Chris pulled back the curtain, even though Han and Minho tried their best to get him away. At that point, I.N, who was the closest to Chan, blocked him from your bedside.

“Get away from her.” He whispered, “She’s too fragile right now.”

Chris just looked at I.N. and said, “No one is keeping me from my wife, you’re lucky I even went along with it for this long. I’m not going to wake her.”

The venom in Chan's voice made the hair on Bin’s neck and arms raise. Not out of fear, no he could snap Chris in half if he was pissed off enough. His hair raised out of anger and knowing he couldn't do anything about it. The fact that Chan had the audacity to come into that room after what he did, knowing that you are fragile. That you barely made it out, and even now, you aren’t completely out. Yet there he was trying to force himself in. Like he had a right to be there, even though he was the one that caused it. 

I.N looked at Han and Han signaled him to let it go. 

Han knew that he was right, none of them had spousal rights. So technically Chris can kick them out, especially because she is still so weak, she can’t fend for herself or be able to sternly say ‘get out’ to her husband, not without consequences. They had no other choice. 

Bin looked at Chan as he took a seat next to the bed, taking in your sleeping form. His heart was breaking at seeing how weak you looked. Your cheeks were slightly sunken in and your face was completely pale. The dark circles dominated your eyes, making your face look more like a mummy as opposed to a living breathing person. He looked at your arm with a blood bag hooked to it. When he looked up at Bin he could see that it took everything in Bin’s body not to kill him.

Bin just mouthed to him, “What the fuck are you doing here, get out.” The more that he looked at Chan the more he wanted to rip him apart. He looked well rested, smelled like he showered, hell he even did his hair. That pissed Changbin off. You’d think that he would at least look more disheveled. Given, he could see that he did look worried and sad. He didn’t look guilty. 

Chris just ignored him and kept looking at you. Chris was transfixed on you. He was even more transfixed by your hold on Changbin. You looked like you were cuddling your favorite teddy bear. He remembered the last time you held him like that. Yesterday morning, when he came home to sleep for two hours, the minute the bed dipped you subconsciously reached for him, and he slightly rolled his eyes as he succumbed to his fate, smile on his face. You sighed so happily, you mumbled, ‘Mhmm missed you, love you,’ as you kissed his bare chest, and just like you’re positioned now, you were asleep. Now seeing you holding Bin like that makes jealousy more prominent in his mind. 

It makes him sick to think about all of this as he plays with his wedding ring, thinking about not feeling you again, your hugs, your breath on his skin. The moans that’d he pull out of you, soothing his soul. The looks that’d make his heart stop. The giggle that’d be forced out even if you were mad. Not having the feeling of your skin on his, these thoughts make him want to die. He’s trying to actively ignore it. He’s trying to ignore the fact that he did something so disgusting, so unforgivable that he lost you. For him, it’s easier to be angry, angry and convinced that you’ll come back. That’s why he is doing what he is doing. That’s why he walked with bravado into that room.

He went to put some hair behind your ear just to have some contact and I.N’s hand flew out and wrapped his hand around his wrist. His jaw set. Bin wanted to do the exact same but it’d jolt you.  

I.N. growled “No.. touching… get out of the room,” his brows furrowed, his usually soft eyes looking more like a piercing gaze. 

Being the maknae, he has never challenged Chan before… At all. There’s a good reason as to why he is challenging him right now. Innah has always felt like he was awkward. He didn’t really know where he belonged in the team. Yes, he has a good voice and yes he’s good with choreography but he never really hung out with people other than Seungmin and Felix. 

You being the person you are, you figured it out. He was watching one day, just seeing all of the members interacting, some of the older ones trying to bring him into the fold but it seemed ingenuine to him. Like he was the little brother that had to be included or Dad would get mad. You truly found the things that he loved interesting, really talked to him, and made him feel safe and welcomed. 

There was one particularly hard night for him. Nothing went right that day and he was tired, frustrated, and needed to feel safe. He didn’t know where to go or who to go to. So he called you without knowing why. You picked up and the minute he heard your voice he started crying. You ran to his dorm. No one else was home, and of course, Chan was nowhere in sight. So you stood with him, talked, and cooked a midnight dinner with him. Got him to laugh, you both passed out on the couch after watching some anime.

After that night that no one knows about except the boys in the Danceracha house, I.N. was just like Hyunjin, except he’d do drive-by hugs, sometimes just falling on you giggling and looking for hugs and head scratches, like the fox he is. There were other times when he would just stand behind you, put his chin on the top of your head and say, “What are we doing here Y/N/N…. I am BORED” as he’d flop on you, “Let’s get Ramyeon.” You’d laugh and say, “How about this… you get through today… and Ramyeon’s on me.” He still smiles at those memories.

So of course, I.N. would fight King Kong if he had to if it meant protecting you. 

Now, seeing Jeongin doing this, standing up to Chan, just to protect you, his Noona,  made everyone that wasn’t Chan smile. 

Chan stood up to his full height and said, “I just want to be here for her,” with a tight lip at the challenge of the maknae of his team. Chan can’t take the disrespect anymore. Even though he knows that he more than deserves to be treated like this and worse, he is still in that limbo of trying to convince himself that this didn’t actually happen or worse, that he can fix it.

Bin felt your grip tighten on him…

You said to yourself that you didn’t just hear that voice. You squeezed your eyes shut as you wiggled up a bit to bury your face into Bin's neck. You didn’t want the boys to see you cry. 

The cologne you just smelled when you were on Bin's chest, that was Chan’s cologne. The voice you just heard, that was Chan’s voice. There was a war going on in your head. Do you talk to him? Can you talk to him? What do you say? What does HE have to say?

“Y/N?” Chan said as his body snapped to you. Seeing you now burrowed into Bin’s neck and chest. 

It made the jealousy that he had before start to boil. That’s his wife, after all. Chan was your safety. He was the one you run to, not Changbin, of all people. Why does he fit so well next to you? Why does the feeling of you slipping away elicit anger at others, not himself? Why did he see you buried in Bin’s neck and not his own? It felt to him like someone was touching his favorite toy without permission. Why did she go to Bin for comfort and not him? 

“Y/N, Baby?” He asked a little louder…

“Stop calling me that,” you responded to him, muffled by Bin’s neck as you cried in your own dark cocoon, that was what you imagined when in Bin’s neck. Surrounded by him, he’d never let anyone near close. He was your safety bubble. 

Bin just moved his hand up to pet your hair back as you fought with yourself. 

The only one who knew you were crying was Bin, who felt your tears on his neck. They felt like acid on his skin, he could feel the pain through them, the fear, the rejection, the grief. He hated seeing or feeling you cry. The fact that you were comfortable enough to trust him with your fragility was the only solace in this for him. He knew that no one could protect you more than he could. That’s exactly what he’s going to do, protect you. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispered as he turned his face into you, trying to hide as much of your face as he could, to give you more shelter to cry in. He hated that you had to go through this. You would think that for even one second his bonehead bandmate would put his own ego aside for just one fucking day to give you the room you desperately needed. It’s not even like he could make the excuse of thinking that you are going through it alone. It’s clear that you aren’t, Bin always took care of you. Sometimes Chan thought that it was the perfect deal for himself. He was married to you, so obviously you wouldn’t betray him, and Bin was so in love with you that he’d move Heaven and Earth for you. So Chan being distracted was never the issue, Bin was always there. In his head Bin was like a Knight protecting the Queen in a chess game. The king doesn’t have to worry about the Queen. 

Bin’s tone with you was gentle,“You tell me to get him out and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” His face read danger, eyes never leaving Chris.

You really didn’t know what to do. You are at a loss really. You just got about half an hour in nearly 30+ hours of being awake. One thing you do know is that you are feeling your pain uptick at the thought of leaving Bin’s neck. 

“Please, let me talk to you,” Chris pleaded with you. He tried to touch you.

Jeongin stopped him again, gripping his wrist. His grip was bruising in strength this time, “She did not say you could touch her. So you are keeping your hand to yourself. Either that or I rip it off, understand?”

Bin’s jaw was tight, if Chris made one more move, Bin was going to gently switch out with Seungmin, just to murder Chris, then switch out again so you could sleep, very simple. 

“At least let me see your face, Baby,” Chris said as he yanked his hand from I.N’s grip. 

Then you spoke again… your tone now carrying an authoritative air, “I told you not to call me that fucking name. I heard it enough when you were fucking her in our bed. Take that name and shove it, Chris.” 

“As for seeing my face, you don’t deserve to see it after what you did to me. Neither of you deserve to see my face.”

“Give us the room,” Chan ordered. He was doing his best to keep his composure and to try to gauge how much control he lost of the group. He is very much aware of the fact that the power dynamic has changed. Chan knows that they don’t even respect him, let alone trust him. Another thing that he knows is that he would feel the same way.

He’s also embarrassed, not at what he’s done but at the fact that his members found out. The fact that he was caught with his pants down, both literally and figuratively. The fact that his members watched him do something so amoral was something that he was pissed off about. Not as much at the fact that he had no moral compass, but it was the fact that they reacted the way they did. They screamed at him, Chris, Bang Chan, their elder. They challenged his authority left and right. The fact that they’re rebelling only added fuel to the fire. He wanted, needed to get control back. 

As far as he was concerned, this was all something that he could come back from. You love him, right? So obviously you’ll come back. You sunk 5 years into him, of course you’ll be back. There was far too many decent memories for you to check out now. You’re hurt, demoralized, angry, yes. However, knowing the peacekeeper you are, you’ll be back, he knows it. Why can’t they see that, why can’t they fight for him just as hard as they are fighting for you. Why can’t they get their noses out of his marriage and watch some K-Drama like they always do instead of driving a wedge further in between himself and his wife. 

The frustration alone made him want to lose his composure. Everyone has their role, that is something he is an avid believer in. To you, Chan is the protector, he’s the one to chase all the bad things away, he is your husband. Changbin is your friend, nothing more. So it drove Chan crazy to see you relax in Bin’s arms. 

He felt like Bin had no business in a bed with you. It being completely lost on him that he did the same thing, but worse with his wife’s best friend. Bin is not there to sexually gratify you, he is there to hold whatever’s left of you together. 

Bin is trying desperately to reassure you, to look at all of your broken pieces and help you, to let you know that he won’t let Chris close enough to hurt you again. 

When Chris ordered everyone to give him the room, not one person moved a muscle. All they did was look at you, waiting for an answer. 

Bin whispered to you, “Do you want us to leave?” Internally he was praying that you wouldn’t want him to go. He as well as the rest of the boys don’t trust Chris as far as they can throw him. 

You shook your head, “Can’t take it.” You knew that there would be no way that you could have this conversation alone, you’d be right back to square one. If you were honest there isn’t a way you can see this going well. You are still really weak. You can’t do much of anything at all yet, even needing help shifting in your own bed. Not to mention the person who did it to you is demanding an audience with you like you didn’t just go through a near-death experience and is barking orders at your boys. You couldn’t even scream at him for that. 

Bin looked at the boys and said, “We aren’t going anywhere, Y/N’s orders.”

With that all of the boys had a seat, smiles on their faces as if to say try us, we dare you. 

Chan’s face turned hard at that. It was worse than he thought… Not only did he lose control, he handed all of it over to you on a silver platter. Chan is an A personality type. He is very particular, one of those places he’s particular about is that he is the Alpha. He is the leader, the spearhead. So for everyone to do this, made him not only mad, but scared. He isn’t used to not being in control. That made his tone harsh as he barked,“Look, I know that you are in pain and I know that you don’t even want to see me right now, but we need to talk in private.”

Immediately I.N. bristled and took a step to him, Minho getting up and claiming the bottom half of the bed, looming on the post of it, glaring at Chan.

Felix growled, “Watch your tone, you aren’t the one calling the shots, Chris.” as he bore daggers into Chris’ forehead, standing at the ready. 

You didn’t respond and Chan said something that made your blood boil,something he knew you couldn’t ignore, “It was mine too.”

It..IT?! Your heart cracked again as you left your cocoon, “IT?!” You raised your voice. You winced at the pain the movement caused. “MY child was not an IT… THEY WERE HERE CHRIS.” You grabbed your stomach, feeling your diaphragm scream at you to be quiet, your abdominals agreeing full-heartedly. “YOU gave up ANY parentage by fucking someone else when we were trying to have a baby for TWO FUCKING YEARS!”

“WHAT?!” Han exclaimed. Han started to see red, yet again… Han thought to himself, They were trying to have a baby for 2 years?!. Han looked briefly at everyone else, their faces set in the same murderous stare that resided on Han. 

Meanwhile, Bin didn’t let that sink in, he was too busy noticing you started looking slightly confused and woozy. Whatever little color you had was turning more grey by the second.

“Y/N you need to breathe,” Bin tried to remind you. He tried his best to guide you back down but you weren't having it. Your anger taking control. He had a sinking feeling as his own heartrate picked up.

You thought for a few minutes and said, “I still can’t believe it, you know? It’s like last night was a horrible nightmare but, the pain, the blood… It really happened. My baby is really gone.” A stray tear ran down your face, “I don’t want to believe it. It hurts too much. But my body knows. It feels different. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t… I can’t…”

Bin was watching your heart rate, the last time you tried to revisit this, you had to be sedated and apparently, Han is thinking the same thing. He looked at the monitors and got a bad feeling. 

“I just wanted to surprise you, to show you how much I love you! To let you know that I am there for you and you repay me by emotionally cheating on me with my BEST FRIEND for a YEAR and physically cheating for two whole months?! NOW YOU WANT A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?! How is this for a private conversation.” You felt your body starting to fail again. The rage coursing through you is the only thing keeping you aware of your surroundings. 

Chan went to look away, he couldn’t see you hurting this much. He couldn’t come to the realization that he did this to you. You screamed with what little energy you had , “LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD!” as you held your stomach, trying to control the new waves of pain.

When he looked at you, you said, “Here’s a little private conversation for you. I’m granting your wish. You said to her ‘I can’t wait to leave her’... Guess what?” You gritted out, “I’m leaving you!” you started spiraling back into what happened not even a full 24 hours ago at repeating his sentence back to him. Hearing those same words in your head, seeing the blood, the reality of it once again slamming into you like it did before. 

The minute that last sentence left your lips, the world slowed down for Chris. He saw everything, the wedding, the laughs you both had. Even the simple things like how whenever he got up, which was always well before you woke up; he’d stare at you, brushing your cheekbones with his knuckles. Watching your peaceful form and marveling at how effortlessly gorgeous you are. Now as he watches you, seeing the shreds of you that were left, he had a realization. He realized all at once that the person he loves and has always loved is dead. She’s dead, along with his child, because of him.

You started staring off tears freely falling, “I just want my baby… Bin, I want my baby.” 

Your heart rate started climbing fast as you stared at your lap, seeing blood that wasn’t there anymore, then blinking and it disappearing, your face began to show distress, as tears started falling, and your mouth opened letting out rapid puffs of air. Bin looked at Han and yelled at him, "Get the nurses, go!" The next second Han ran out the door as the alarms went off on the monitors. 

Bin looked at you and said, “Hey look at me, stay here with me, Angel.” Then he looked at Minho and said, “Clear the room. Get Chan out of her NOW!” Minho immediately started getting everyone up and out of the room as fast as possible. 

Chris slowly backed up until he hit the wall,everything moving in slow motion. He looked at the monitor, seeing your ungodly fast heart rate. The fact that you could die right now from a heart attack made him want to collapse to his knees and start praying. Chris was watching how Bin handled you, tears were starting to sting in his eyes. He was shaking, feeling the gold of his wedding band as he watched a man who was so much more than he could be. How delicate he was with you. Why did I do this? 

He was staring at your face, he could see it, the heartbreak. He wanted to help, to take all of it back. Flashes of memories flickered in his mind. All of the opportunities he had to be with you but chose not to. All of the times that you would try to save him from himself, even if it was as simple as reminding him to eat. He’d yell at you and tell you that he was a grown up. I’m not grown. You’d remind him to get up and stretch, to be present in the now.  You always tried to connect to him, always tried to soothe him, always tried to bridge the gap he put in between the both of you. His heart felt like lead, sinking further. His voice, his legs, his body didn’t move. It was Innah who dragged him out of the room by the collar.

Bin looked back at you, “Y/N…” He could see, you were completely dissociated. 

You weren’t responding to him at all, eyes glazed over as your heart rate kept climbing, you were glancing around, clearly confused. What he didn’t know is that you felt everything at once. You could hear him like he was underwater. Your vision was blurry, and you really couldn’t feel anything aside from the pain in your chest at the thought of anything, because you felt guilty.

“Angel, look at me, try to breathe for me. Come back to me.” 

“They should be here, not me. My baby didn’t deserve that Binnie. I want to hold my baby!” You screamed, “I want to take them a bath, feed them, I want my Baby.”

Bin realized then that it’s the reality that’s so painful. Everything that was around you reminded you of the fact that you were living and your child wasn’t. He could see the pain on your face as he gently held your face, trying to get through to you. “I know you want to hold your baby, I want that too. I want that so badly but I can’t give you your baby, that can’t happen. No one can bring your baby back, Angel.” Tears were rolling down his face at seeing you like this. Your eyes were constantly searching as more tears fell from them, he tried to wipe the tears away as fast as they rolled down your cheeks.

 Bin got behind you, caging you with his arms and chest. He pulled you flush to his chest and ran his hands up and down your arms as he slowly rocked you. He was trying to provide enough stimulation to get you back to being able to self-regulate. You were only getting worse as he watched helplessly. He tilted your head back to see you spiraling further down, “Binnie help me. I want my baby please.” You just wanted to let it consume you already. 

You quaked as you wished out loud, screaming without even knowing it, “Please, just let me die, let me go, I want my Baby.” You knew it was the pain, but at this point, not having your child was worse than death. You screamed without fighting anymore. Sometimes the seconds would stretch as you screamed till no air was left to make a noise. Those sobs made you feel like your chest was in a car crusher. You couldn’t stop them no matter how hard you tried, but in your mind, there was no point in stopping them. 

Changbin’s blood ran cold hearing you say that, feeling as if he got dunked in an ice bath. He choked on his own breath as he did his best to try to get his own voice to work. You may not want to be here right now, but he’s going to make sure that you make it. He looked into your eyes and they were completely dilated, you just lay on Bin’s chest as you made the decision. You were done fighting, the pain was too much. Bin felt it, he could feel the fight leave you as you went limp, crying. 

He knows this feeling… this was the same feeling that he felt when you were losing consciousness. His gaze snapped to your eyes, no fight, no struggle. You looked like you were calling out to Death. You wanted it so badly. What was worse was that Death was answering, he could feel it in the room. Cold, dark, and looming. 

His body went into overdrive, the shock melting into panic. He wasn’t going to let Death take you, “Han hurry up, she's slipping!” He screamed at the door. His scream didn’t sound like him. The sound akin to a bystander watching a loved one jump from a bridge. Watching the body disappear all because of one step. He couldn’t wouldn’t let you fall. He screamed as if he dove for your hand, the same hand that fits so perfectly in his, as you threatened to disappear over the ledge of that bridge.

Bin got closer to your ear, so you could hear him better, “Please don’t say that. I know it hurts, just stay with me, hold on. I’m here. Stay with me. You can’t leave me here, please.” Changbin tilted your head, so you could hear his heartbeat. Subconsciously thinking, If you go I go. He gently wrapped his arm across your breastbone, trying to provide some soothing pressure to your chest. His hand resting on your opposite arm, rubbing the meat of it in a soothing pattern. His other hand was petting your hair. The hold he had you in gave you someone to hold on to. As soon as his forearm rested you wrapped your hands around it, grabbing his hand as you dangled on the ledge.

“Binnie it hurts, pleaseee. Help me, it hurtss.” You sobbed, your voice cracking and breaking, a mirror of your soul. Bin continued to slowly rock you, “I know Angel, I know I want to take it away. Just hold on for me. Hold on to me.” He had no idea how he was able to be calm for you. A part of him knew that he needed to. He was not going to collapse so you could face all of this on your own. He refused. He needed to fight for you, and he would, for eternity if he had to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[ilypaigebuckets]

i was wondering if you could do a fic with kate martin being too shy to ask out reader? maybe she’s like nervous or smthg?

hope you enjoy this 😇 if you want a part 2 lmk bc i feel like i ended it on a note where i could potentially make another part or just eventually edit this and add more!

Eyes on You - Kate Martin x Reader

Kate always saw you on Saturday mornings when you went into a coffee shop just outside your university to get coffee. She went there once for an early pick me up before a practice, but ever since she saw you it had become a staple part of her Saturday morning ritual.

Kate saw you today. She watched as you walked up to the barista and ordered your iced caramel latte with oat milk. She watched as you paid and put a $5 bill into the tip jar, and smiled to herself at how generous you seemed to be. She watched as you ran your fingers through your hair as you walked over to the side of the shop she was at as you waited for your drink to be made. She stared as you intently, and is mesmerized until you glance her way. That was the only thing that could bring her back to reality.

Kate had always been a go-getter. She was ambitious and once she had her eyes set on something there was no stopping her. That was until she met you. You were the one thing that she seemed too scared to chase. She wondered what it was about you that made her so scared to go for it. Could it be your dreamy eyes? Your beautiful, glowy face? Your fashionable style? Kate couldn’t seem to figure out what it was that stopped her from talking to you. So she sat there; she sat there in the corner of the coffee shop she waited for you in as you got your drink from the counter and left. She wanted to say something, anything, to you but she just couldn’t bring herself to. All she could do was keep her eyes locked on you.

Her face turned red at she brought herself back into reality, she wondered how long she’d been spaced out thinking of you. Her coffee shop crush. Kate looked at the time on her phone and sighed, it was time for practice already. She took a last sip of her matcha and tossed it as she walked out the exit.

“Kate, have you thought about, I don’t know, just talking to her?” Caitlin asked Kate facetiously. Kate was venting to her teammates about how she couldn’t bring herself to utter one word to you.

Gabbie nodded her head agreeing with Caitlin, “Yeah Kate, you don’t seem like the type to ever be at a loss for words.” The girls all laughed and Kate rolled her eyes. “Guys. I’m so serious. She is like the epitome of sunshine. She just looks like someone off of pinterest. Do you even think I could pull her?” Caitlin walked closer to Kate and patted her on the back in an attempt to brighten her spirits.

“Have some faith in yourself, Kate! Why don’t Gabbie, Jada, and I come with you next time you go? We can be your wing women or something?” Everyone laughed at Caitlin’s choice of words, but nodded and agreed this was a good starting plan for Kate. Kate folded her arms and shrugged. “I guess it couldn’t hurt. I don’t really have anything to lose.”

So the next Saturday came, and Kate, Gabbie, Jada, and Caitlin all walked into the little coffee shop right outside Iowa University. “This place is cute! We should come here more often!” Jada said to Gabbie as the bell on top of the door clinked as the four walked into the shop. Then, Kate spotted you. “Guys,” she whispered to her friends, “ok don’t look now but see that pretty girl over there? In the blue sweater? That’s her!” Kate grabbed her teammates in what looked like a mini game-day huddle so they could figure out their course of action. Kate was in a panic. Her questions ranged from asking the other three “she looks gay, right?” “have you guys seen her around before?” “what year is she in?” and a billion others. Gabbie put a hand over Kate’s mouth and Jada shushed her. “Kate,” Caitlin started to say to her, “we know you’re excited, but you’re just working yourself up. Take some deep breaths, walk over there, and ask her out. You got this.”

Kate sighed and nodded. Caitlin was right. She had done so many harder things than this, so why was this so hard for her to do? Kate started to walk over to you, but stopped herself until Jada gave her a little nudge and she kept going. Finally, she approached the place at the small island table where you sat. You took your headphones off your head and placed them around your neck and looked up from your textbook at her. “Hi! I think I’ve seen you in here before, once or twice?” You said to her with the same bright and cheery smile you always wore.

‘Yeah maybe a little more than that, yikes.’ Kate thought to herself. She cleared her throat and nodded at you. “Yeah, definitely! I’m, uh, I’m Kate! I go to Iowa just like a block from here. I assume you do too, right?” You nodded your head in response to her question. “You do? Ok, great. Cool. Well uh I was wondering if maybe I could, like, I don’t know just get your number? You’re just. God. You’re like so pretty and you seem so sweet and I don’t even know if you like, yeah, but can I just? Please?”

You looked at her like she was a lost puppy. “Okay you’re literally so cute. I’m Y/n, btw! Yes of course You can have my number here it’s xxx-xxx-xxxx.” You quickly scribbled your number on a sticky note and handed it to Kate. She looked at it in awe and smiled, “Thank you so much! Okay, I won’t keep you any longer! Well, for now that is. I’ll text you okay?”

“Nice meeting you, bye Kate! Text me!” You called after her as you watched her walk back to her friends. You saw the excited expression on her face as they all exchanged high fives and pumped their fists in the air in victory. Then, they all rushed out of the door, presumably to figure out what to text you. You smiled to yourself as you put your headphones back over your ears, but your eyes didn’t move from the door. They stayed watching it, hoping Kate would walk back through it again and the two of you could talk some more.

[whispering-ways]

• ⪩⪨ ♥︎ love struck ♥︎ ⪩⪨ •

♥︎ summary: you've just come back from a horrible date and your roommate, Midoriya, helps comfort you

♥︎ pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

♥︎ tags: no warnings, just fluff :)

♥︎ notes: hi everyone, hope everyone is having a good day and I hope y'all like this fic! love y'all and thanks for supporting my fics &lt;;3

You close the door to your apartment with a sigh and head to the kitchen. “Yet another piss poor date,” you think to yourself, fatigue settling in your bones. At this point, it was just too tiring. You’d downloaded every single dating app you could think of; you tried your luck on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and everything else under the moon. But regardless of how wide a net you cast, you always seemed to pull in the worst fish. It’s not that you hadn’t found anyone attractive or no one had liked you, but every single time you went on a date, it just managed to go sour. 

The first date you’d been on seemed really nice at first, but with the way the guy kept on mentioning that women should be good housewives rather than ‘trying to shoot for the stars’, you knew that pursuing him would go nowhere. The second guy was no better. You’d agreed to go back to his place, just to realize it wasn’t even a place at all; it was his parents’ basement. The third guy? Gross, absolutely gross and that’s all you were going to say. And that led you to today. Today’s date seemed like a shoo-in. 

The guy you were talking to was nice, smart, and sweet and it really looked like he was into you. So when he asked you out on a date to a nearby French restaurant, you were genuinely excited. At the least, it gave you a chance to dress up. But after nearly an hour of waiting, you realized that you’d been stood up. You were so upset thinking about the whole situation that you didn’t even notice your roommate on the couch when you took off your heels.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be home by now. Thought your date would take a little longer than an hour,” Midoriya said, moving to the side and patting the seat next to him, motioning you to sit next to him. Although you didn’t want anyone to see you upset like this, you were so glad to see Midoriya right now. You’d agreed to move in with him about a couple of months ago since you two were already best friends for years. And what you needed the most right now was your best friend and a good and proper vent.

“Yeah I’m fine, just that all my dates keep going terribly and I’m practically un-fucking-loveable or something,” you reply, throwing your purse on the couch and slumping down.

“Ok, no need for sarcasm. What we’re gonna do is you’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna talk it out okay?” Midoriya replies. He gets up to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water before handing it to you. “Now tell me exactly what happened.” 

You take a sip and lean back on the couch, placing the glass to the side. “Well, I went to the restaurant and like I thought it’d be like a nice date, like at least a good time you know? But apparently, I’m a fucking moron or something because I sat there for like 45 minutes waiting for him until the staff had to kick me out because of the long wait times.” Just talking about it made tears well up in your eyes.

“What the hell; did he at least send you a text or anything?” Midoriya asked.

"Oh.. that’s the best fucking part is, I walked out of that restaurant and checked Hinge. I had sent so many messages asking where he was, and guess what? He fucking unmatched me!" you share in disbelief, wiping away the tears with your sleeve. You then grab a pizza roll, attempting to find some comfort in food. "I don't know why this always happens.. I just feel like I'm always going to have terrible luck, it's like I'm cursed. Maybe I'm just delusional and need to accept the fact that I'm unlovable..." you speak sadly, staring blankly.

Midoriya placed his hand on your shoulders, abruptly turning you to face him. Surprised by his sudden movement, you paused in your conversation. "Don't say that about yourself, okay? You are loved by so many people, and you're absolutely loveable. All the guys you've just talked to are just douches, and you deserve so much better than them.” You nod your head and wipe your tears, doing your best to pick yourself up. 

He lets out a sympathetic sigh. “How about I make you some of that spicy ramen you like and we watch a movie together? You relax and I’ll take care of it all,” he suggested. 

You chuckle at the sweet gesture. “Yeah...yeah that sounds really nice actually.” A part of your heart felt a pang of hurt at his actions; although it was a sweet friendly gesture, that’s all it’d end up being. Just a friendly gesture. But you did your best to erase that thought from your head.

Midoriya gets up from the couch to start cooking the ramen and you head to your room to change out of your dress into some more comfortable pajamas. You tie your hair up before heading to the kitchen and sitting on the countertop to watch Midoriya cook. After a moment or two, you pipe up and ask whether he needs any help.

“No, I’m all good; just sit there and look pretty. Besides, it’s just ramen, there’s not much to do with it.”

You blush at the reply, but shrug it off and reply “Well at least I offered.” 

As Midoriya cooks the ramen, you both slip into talking about your lives. Midoriya talked about what an ass his boss was being, which was a great way to distract you from your own problems. The light gossip lifts your heart, and you feel refreshed and ready to tackle the world. Once the ramen is prepared, he scoops two bowls and walks towards the couch, where you follow behind him. You sit down and he walks over to your bedroom. With curiosity, you wondered what he was doing there, but shortly after, he returned with your favorite blanket in hand. 

It warmed your heart how much effort Midoriya put into cheering you up. He momentarily takes away your bowl of ramen, only to spread the blanket across you and return the bowl back to you. You take a bite and immediately melt into the couch; it is just what you need. Midoriya joins you on the couch and hands you the remote to pick out a movie. After flipping through a couple of options, you finally settle on a rom-com that you’d been wanting to see for a while. 

It didn’t long for you both to finish your ramen and from there on out, all you both were focused on was the movie. Or at least, it seemed like that’s what Midoriya was focused on. All you could think about was how close you both were. You didn’t know what compelled you to offer whether he wanted to share your blanket with you, but you were definitely glad that you both were sitting closer together. Your fingertips were barely brushing with his and you could smell the cologne on him. “Pine and just a hint of smoke,” you thought, but you knew thoughts like that were only going to hurt you. After all, you guys were just best friends. 

You try your best to remain focused on the movie, which seems to work fairly well. Not too much longer passes until you and Midoriya begin making comments about the film, which had always been your favorite part of watching movies with him; he always had something out-of-pocket to say about what you two were watching.  The climax of the movie had the hero show up at his crush’s door with a bouquet, ready to ask her out. "See that right there? That's what I want. Some flowers and all that stuff on a date? What wouldn't I give to experience a date like that,” you exclaim with a dreamy expression on your face.

You hear Midoryia laugh, and you turn towards him, confused. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just funny you say that like you haven’t ever gotten flowers ever,” he replies, focusing back on the movie. 

“That’s because I haven’t,” you mumble quietly, but not quiet enough to slip Midoriya’s earshot. 

He whipped his head around to look at you. “That is genuinely insane, if I could take you out I'd have gotten you flowers for sure, what a damn shame honestly.” You look at him stunned, wondering whether if what he said had registered in his own mind.” Well, you know I mean a girl like you, not you...not that there’s anything bad with you..ugh I’m just fucking it up,” he stammers, his hands flying to cover the rosy blush that now covered his entire face. 

You turn away from him and an awkward silence passes between you both. But there was no way you could just leave it off at that. “So you want to take me out then?”

“No..well I mean yes, I’d be privileged too but...” he trails off before sighing, leaning back into the couch. His hands still cover his face as he says, “I just...in all honesty, I don’t want to take advantage of you being upset right now and I know that you don’t have feelings for me so a date would just complicate things, you know?”

Saying that you were thrown for a loop was an absolute understatement. It took you a moment or two to process what he just said before replying, “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it you know. And it’s not like I don’t have feelings for you.”

Midoriya shot up at break-neck speed. “”What?? What do you mean by that??”

“No it’s whatever really, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you say, fiddling around with the corner of the blanket. 

You feel Midoriya's hands gently move over to cover yours, pulling you back to look towards him. His eyes searched for an answer within your own and when you continued to stay silent, he said ”Literally if you don't tell me I'm going to spend all night trying to figure it out and you know I won't with how oblivious I am."

You look down at your interlaced hands and reply, “Well, you know, you’re my best friend and I genuinely enjoy spending time with you. Like I don’t think many people make me genuinely as happy as you do and I have feelings for you. I’ve thought about like being with you, but I like friends with you and  I don’t want to weird you out and push you away.” 

Midoriya lets go of your hands and for a moment, you think that this was the end, he was going to move out and never talk to you again. But before you can even register it, he pulls you into his arms and hugs you tight. He pulls you back and shifts his hands from the small of your back to your face, cupping it. His face has a huge grin plastered all over it. “Weird me out? I didn’t want to weird you out! I love spending time with you and I’ve wanted to go out with you for a long time. You don’t realize what a dream come true this is.”

At first, hearing that shocks yu, but then you start to laugh at how silly the situation is. You hug him back, happy to be on the same page. After you both let go, you smile and a moment passes between you two. It's a bit awkward but you know what you both are so happy that it’s okay. “Is it okay if I kiss you now.”

You’d never seen a man nod quicker in your life. “Yeah, yeah, that would be nice,” he replied, trying to play off his nod. Your hand slips to his cheek and you lean in to kiss him. You feel his smile against your lips, making you absolutely giddy. You pull away from him, your face flushed red. You looked up at Midoriya, whose green eyes shone with admiration. He just looked too cute; you couldn’t help but lean back into pepper kisses all over his face. 

With passion, Midoriya's need to hold you became too overwhelming. He gently eased you into his lap, lifting up both legs so they straddled his. Taking you by surprise, he kissed you repeatedly, as if to convince himself that this was no dream. With every separation of his lips from yours, he seemed more and more content. Breathlessly, he asked, "Is it too early for me to ask you to be my girlfriend?"

“Absolutely not,” you say, snaking your arms around his neck. You pour every drop of affection and joy you had for Midoriya into the kiss. “This is like a dream come true,” you thought.

You two spent the rest of the night, cuddling with each other as you finished the movie. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m so glad that guy flaked on you,” Midoriya said, kissing you softly on the forehead. 

You chuckle, leaning on his shoulder. “I couldn’t agree more.”

[nrdmssgs]

Sorry but I NEED a happy ending for Nikto and that reader. An AU, What If, whatever, but I need fluff and happiness

Pieces of them

Masterlist

Part 1

Pairing: Nikto x f reader Angst\comfort Reader goes KIA

Thank you @amongthe141 for encouraging me for writing more for this guy, thank you to a very dear @atenceladusiaawfytbwb for reminding me about this story. @iwanncry @bogboyfriendbreadslice @sinner-sinta loves, sorry for bothering you, but just in case, you wanted a happy ending - here it is.

"Are you out or not? I don't have all night!" She laughs.

Nikto doesn't like it when she laughs - it feels as if someone tickles him from the inside.

"Dumb ritual," he mutters, taking a step outside and facing dark night skies.

"Anything, I come up with is dumb, of course." Her voice is calm and unbothered by his commentaries. "Now tell me, which one do you see?"

He lifts his head. Usually he manages to recognize two, or at best three, constellations. But today he is almost going blind from the brightness of the myriad stars. They are so large that it seems that he can reach some of them with his hand.

Niktos breath catches in his throat. Why didn't he notice this before? Why didn't he see all these stars hovering right above his head? The night sky became so wildly mesmerizing, since...

"Hello, it seems you are trying to reach me, while I'm deployed. Leave your message, and I'll call back after an ungodly amount of sleep, hot shower and a few decent meals. Bye!"

He winces. Just recently, she called him every evening and forced him to go outside before bed and tell her at least two constellations that he could see above his head. Recently. Or maybe it was a million years ago, in a past life? Or did this not happen at all? Maybe he made her up?

Nikto shakes his head. Her voice, pre-recorded for the inbox, is not a figment of his imagination. And this sky above is unusually bright, but still real. He raises his head, covers his mouth and howls in horror and pain.

***

The worst thing is that there's even no body left to bury. She was confirmed to be KIA, yet Nikto couldn't even say goodbye.

First he waited by her door. Like a dog on a leash. Scared and desperate. Like a beggar. Hopeless.

He wrote her, he wrote so much, but never got an answer. So Nikto ran away, not being able to spend one more night at her doorstep, waiting for nothing. Ever since, he was on the run, chasing the last traces of her. He barely slept or ate and just drove from one hospital to another, inspecting their list of deceived soldiers.

Nikto deserved that last goodbye. Even if her body was all deformed, even if there were just a few bones left - it was still better than chasing her pre-recorded voice every evening and suffocate himself to not howl at the moon.

His squadmates try to reach out to him, buts it's no use - Nikto ignores their calls and doesn't bother reading messages. He keeps chasing her ghost and that is all that matters.

Until one day he stumbles upon König himself at one of the hospitals. Nikto notices a printed list of names in his hand and pulls it harshly, almost tearing the paper apart.

"She's not there."

Nikto ignores Colonels words and goes through the list, quietly muttering names. Only to find out, that König is right.

A crumpled piece of paper flies into the wall, to the displeasure of the head nurse. The Colonel picks it up, carefully straightens it and places it back on the counter.

"We are not ok about her fate, just as you. We can search together, An-"

"Shut up! I'm not searching just for a squadmate, not trying to lighten my conscience! You don't know who she was! Even she didn't..." Nikto stops himself in the middle of the sentence. He knows, It's wrong to vent his anger to the Colonel, who did nothing wrong in the first place.

***

König starts sending Nikto strange addresses: they switch from military hospitals to the organizations helping war survivors. The search becomes much more complicated, because many people, who end up in such facilities, have no IDs. So Nikto has to visit each ward and have long talks with nurses.

It drains his last bits of energy, so when he hears 'we actually have someone fitting your description', he doesn't even react right away. Nikto nods automatically, stands up and stops only at the doors.

"Wait, there is someone?" He rushes back and nearly knocks the nurse over.

Grabbing her hands, he barely whispers 'please, let me see, just one glance, please' with his white, dry lips.

He expects to be escorted to the basement, where the morgue is usually located, but is taken to the common room. A few people slowly walk along it with absolutely lost faces. But Nikto doesn’t look at them - his gaze rests on the painfully familiar profile. Her face.

Eyes tired and faded. Her skin is pale, her hair is very short, and there is a long and voluminous scar on the head. Nikto notices that she is shaking.

“She’s cold. Do you have warmer clothes or a blanket here? I’ll pay for anything!” He turns and meets the sympathetic gaze of the nurse. Irritated, he knocks on the glass door. Several people turn to look at him, but she doesn't pay any attention.

"Sir, I'm afraid you don't quite understand the situation correctly. She experienced clinical death, woke up from a coma. These tremors are not from the cold." After these words, Nikto already feels his hands getting colder.

He begs the nurse to let them speak. "A minute, just a minute!" But she leads him away from the room.

"Sir, she needs to be prepared for any meeting. Meanwhile, we will need some documentary evidence of your affiliation. We have to protect our patients from any illegal encounters."

For a split second Nikto imagines, how long would it take him to push her to any room on their way and block the door, so he can run back. But he shakes his head, banishing the mental image.

He patiently listens and even writes down, what documents he has to provide. He covers his own mouth, when the voices inside line up in the choir, asking him to scream.

***

Nikto fights for a single chance to talk to her, as if his life depends on it: despite his anger, he contacts König, asks for a help with forging required papers, he takes his own meds religiously, fearing to harm her otherwise.

He counts minutes, till he can hold her hand, just make sure, it is really her. Alive.

When he is finally allowed to talk to her - the nurse asks Nikto to wait, while she makes sure, the patient is ready. He stands awkwardly in the doorway, as the nurse sits on the bed next to her and tells her something softly.

In a few minutes she nods and the nurse walks past Nikto. "No sudden moves, keep your voice down. She gets scared easily. There will be personnel right behind her door," she whispers and leaves them alone.

Nikto walks around the bed and finally sees her: a mere shadow of a warrior, an almost lifeless shell, curled up, hugging her knees. Words roll up in a lump in his throat, and he just descends on his knees, trying to meet her lost gaze.

At first, she hides her eyes, as if not looking at him would make him not existing in her world. Nikto cant believe, this is all that left of the smiling, lively, skillful amazing her. His hand raises to the huge, ugly scar on her head automatically, but she catches him and shakes her head in a silent plea.

"Of course. I-I`m sorry, I won't touch... Of course, I won't. I'm so sorry." His voice is just a tad louder than a whisper.

Feeling, that his voice is shaking, Nikto takes a deep breath and looks her in the eyes. He wants to tell her so much, every cell in his body begs to hold her, cover her with a blanket, warm her. But he knows better than to stress her with too much information or questions or contact. He's been reading days and nights now about her current state. That's why Nikto just sits before her, staring into her face.

She reaches out to his cheeks, and he wakes from his stupor.

"My face must be scary. I brought a mask, but they said, it might scare you even more." Nikto shows her the mask, but she pushes it away and rests her hands on his face. It's only when her fingers touch his skin - he realizes, his cheeks, chin and neck are wet with tears.

He tries to get a grip on himself, but her touch crushes the last bit of self-control, he had. Tears keep running down his face as she cups it with all the care of this world.

"They will come. They will come. They will come. They will come." At first, he doesn't make anything from the words, leaving her lips. He is so shocked by her tenderness, that he is afraid to move or talk back.

She brings him closer and closer, until she hugs Nikto, clinging to him desperately and repeating 'they will come'. Only when her face hides on his shoulder, Nikto masters a simple question.

"Who will come? You're waiting for someone?"

She keeps muttering the same mantra, but points at a bed drawer. Nikto hesitates for a few long minutes, not wanting to scare her off by a sudden movement.

He reaches out and opens the drawer, which appears to be full of... pieces of paper. He hugs her back with one hand and takes a handful of pieces with the other.

Several pieces of paper fall to the floor with a dry rustle. Nikto squints his eyes at the remaining pieces of paper and freezes. A star map. Torn into tiny pieces. Their nightly ritual has survived everything - even death.

Maybe she didn’t remember him, maybe she didn’t remember what exactly they did in the evenings, but this starry sky, even in the form of a map, remained with her as small pieces of hope. Pieces from which she assembled him and herself.

Nikto opens his palm, letting the remaining paper fall on the ground, and hugs her with both hands finally. He finally finds the right words for her.

"We've come for you, love."

[skrunksthatwunk]

sorry just watched all of lacey's games (thru rabbit hole at time of writing) and i wanna talk about laceys diner can we talk about lacey's diner? we're talking about it now

tl;dr lacey's games is about the presentation and consumption of girls.

cw suicide, csa, incest, cannibalism. if you've seen the series, you know. i only speak of them vaguely here though

in lacey's diner her livelihood depends on how well people like her food, how it looks, how it tastes, how quickly she gets it to them on time. if any of these things falter, they reject her and reinforce her desperation (trauma around failure and acceptance + threat of extreme poverty via the restaurant closing).

eating her food is accepting her, choosing to be with her in some way. lacey gets eaten in the prior episode so her stalker can be with her forever, out of an obsession with her (/her body) that leads him to destroy her to better possess and consume her (like her uncle). she can't be late serving them herself, because that's not good presentation—her inability to get food out on time is a reflection of her flaws, and a cause to reject her. she must be available for others, punctual. she can't put the wrong ingredients in—elements of herself, her life—she must exclude them entirely from the part they eat, the part she gives away. she keeps the part that is filled with the disgusting, ugly, painful things in her life, about her.

and when she gets fed up and feeds those raw, authentic parts of herself to them (out of spite, tired of trying her best to no avail, to give them a taste of their own medicine), she is punished, not allowed to serve anyone again bc it's too gross and dangerous. she is punished for lashing out, for not keeping it all bottled up, and in her helplessness, resigns herself to death.

as seen in rabbit hole, jay was too boyish to be consumed happily by the audience (the mothers in the emails), so she was killed off and effectively haunts lacey. if she is not presentable enough, she too will be destroyed and discarded. if she is too presentable, she will be consumed too completely. she has no control, no say (as we know from lacey's wardrobe), no agency outside of pretending she's in a sparkly dreamy world. and jay—who said she would rather die than wear makeup—is forced by lacey to wear makeup in death. she's fixing her by making her conform to the same gender standards she's strangled by, saying that if she was less boyish she wouldn't have died. again, femininity and conformity (and thus being pleasant to others, presenting oneself to be admired and consumed) is safe to lacey, something she must perform to survive. yet, of course, lacey is hurt immensely for her being a girl, for her being a woman, and for her trauma resulting from those events.

all her talk of being ugly when she's grieving, of almost crying in front of him (her uncle iirc), of needing to be pretty even for the people who abuse and hurt her... and how she wished the world was ugly and grotesque when jay died because that was how it felt, but it was just sunny and oblivious. she was the one standing out for being upset, and the world was pretending and consumable and she couldn't anymore. she had to scrape herself together though because what else is there? when her job and stability and life is at stake, how can she afford to be traumatized? to not pretend, even when she's alone? augh. ough. look i just like lacey. i want her to be ok

i don't know that lacey herself is supposed to have a linear, consistent story. i kind of think she's an avatar for like,, girlhood suffering and trauma, and the traumatized people who come from that (hence her dying in multiple ways and coming back). perhaps as rocio's way of warning or comforting girls who went through similar things to her, or to vent her own issues because the thought of making something that's such a farce, such a forced, gussied up version of what it's like to be a girl, bothers her. the audience comes to the website to consume lacey at her best, at her most presentable, and are instead met with the harsh reality of cockroaches and used condoms. and yet, the audience of lacey games the video series consumes her too, only they are seeking out her trauma, trying to invade her mind and pick it apart. we're all consuming what we want, whatever we find appetizing, of lacey. and for rocio, you get the sense that she is also a tool, a way for rocio to express her inner distress. in that, lacey is put through all this unfortunate shit by rocio to make her more presentable and consumable to her. we are all using lacey, we all see her and eat her and destroy her. and she comes back to us and her cage because the pain's comforting in its familiarity.

in short, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. 👍

[mrghostrat]

ok OK listen. here are my latest streamer au thoughts before i try to hop off for the day:

i love "married couple madly in love that no one realises are together because they're so different" but i am also terrible at fic planning for established relationships, and my favourite part about aziraphale/crowley is the lead up and the pining

so what if......... "streamers who no one realises are roommates because they're so different" AND "roommates who are secretly madly in love with each other but are so focused on keeping their own infatuation secret they don't notice it's reciprocated until thousands of online strangers start to point it out" ?????

fic concept: crowley and aziraphale are two full time streamers living together. they have their own spaces. but they mesh bizarrely well as roommates, and have come to really enjoy the routine of eating dinners, grocery shopping, and spending their days off together. there's still some distance between them, that shy sort of "i want to show him something– oh his door is closed, i better not bother him," invitations are actual invitations rather than "i'm doing this and you're coming with me," and they're not a CrowleyAndAziraphale unit yet.

both chats are going mad trying to figure out why crowley's roommate's voice is so familiar, and where they've seen that red hair in the corner of aziraphale's screen before. there's conspiracy theories and a subset of shippers (stoked by both crowley and aziraphale's occasional penchant to sigh and vent about a vague crush they haven't named, but is definitely their mysterious roommate if you watched every stream and collaborated on an elaborate google doc to connect all the dots together) but their mods are the only ones who know they live together. (and ship it. of course they know about the crushes and ship it to death and are just watching with popcorn waiting for these idiots to figure it out)

some people piece it together with all the off hand mentions and mid stream tea deliveries, and more start to believe them when crowley drags aziraphale to a twitchcon event and they're seen being friendly in photos together. they're also aware of people constantly asking and guessing about their illusive roommates, but when crowley finally pops up on an aziraphale stream, both streamers are startled at just how insanely their communities react to the innocuous reveal.

nothing changes for aziraphale and crowley. they were never intentionally hiding the fact, so they just continue referring to each other in their normal vague terms. but now when a new viewer is like "who's your roommate?" long time subs with the lore will fill them in. and it very quickly starts to sound like "crowley lives with aziraphale, that wholesome kitchen streamer. someone's made a clip comp, you should go watch. it's adorable they're so in love" and crowley sees these messages like what the FUCK are yall talking about in here on this day, and bans a message for the first time in six months.

aziraphale of course sees none of these messages because he's a fuckin luddite and can't keep up with chat.

or. maybe he's just choosing not to acknowledge them. because if chat can see he's in love with crowley, does that mean crowley can see it too? and that is just unacceptable and terrifying to him, so he smiles and quickly starts explaining how to saddle stitch a book spine even though literally nobody asked

(anathema, newt, and nina have worked their way through the flavoured popcorn seasonings anathema's aunt sent her for christmas, and are now experimenting with homemade seasoning recipes together) (if maggie knew about all this, she would have put her foot down and demanded they talk to aziraphale and crowley about having a conversation)

[sunshinevanfleet]

use somebody - j. kiszka

pairing: jake x reader

a/n: hi there everyone! this one is for u @goldlionsilversun for inspiring me to write this<3 it is loosely based on the song 'use somebody' by kings of leon, so give that a listen if you so desire. i hope everyone enjoys. pls let me know ur thoughts. ok love u bye

genre: smut (18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT), angst

word count: 3.7k

summary: jake vents his frustrations to the reader. some truths come out.

warnings: alcohol consumption, oral (m receiving), spanking, unprotected sex, angst, explicit sex scenes, etc.

“Rock ‘n roll’s not always sunshine and rainbows, you know.” A small, bratty smile played on Jake’s lips as he lifted the beer bottle to his lips. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye as he drank, his eyes taking in your expression.

“What makes you say that?” You lifted an eyebrow at him curiously. He kicked back in his chair, bare feet propped on the little ottoman in front of him. His figure looked strangely out of place in your hotel room, so relaxed in the foreign place. His shirt was completely unbuttoned, ripped apart in your heated struggle against one another only minutes before; it was strange how quickly the two of you went from fondling each other to an existential discussion.

He emptied his drink, tossing the bottle easily into the trash bin in the corner. He folded his arms behind his head. His glassy eyes bored into you intensely; you squirmed a bit in your own seat across from him. 

“So many things…” he sighed heavily. The heavy expression on his face made him look suddenly older; he looked as if he were carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders.

“It can’t be too bad,” you said, trying to lighten the mood. “Waking up in a new city every morning. Meeting new people. Having thousands of people screaming your name.” You smiled cheekily.

The corner of his lips turned up, but he shook his head. “Who gives a shit how many people are screaming your name, if you don’t have anyone just saying it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean– picture this…” He splayed his hands out in front of him, as if lifting a poster into the air. “You’ve got all of these people who think they know you… They think they love you. They care about you in some parasocial way, of course, but…” he sighed again. “You’ve got no one there who actually knows you. Who actually cares about you.”

You frowned. “Jake, I’m sure there are plenty of people who actually care about you.”

He laughed. It was a humorless sound, almost bitter. 

“That’s not what I mean, Y/N.”

You weren’t sure exactly what he meant. 

“The sex is fine,” he said, continuing on in his explanation. 

“Just fine?”

“Just fine,” he said, voice almost bored. “Got about a dozen girls to keep my bed warm, sure, but what’s any of that good for?”

An amused smile graced your lips. You were too drunk to be having this discussion, and so was he. The whole thing was all over the place. You came up here just to be another one of those dozen girls, as you had time and time again. But sometimes you got your angsty Jake; every now and then, you were his escape. His person to vent to.

“Yet you keep coming back,” you said softly. He looked at you as if you had grown another head. He hated when you made sense, when you made him realize he had a part in all of his own problems. Whose fault was it that he kept fucking a different girl in every city?

“What?”

“You keep hooking up with random girls, instead of settling down. That’s what you’re getting at, right? You want someone who sees you… You want someone who’s yours.”

“Sure,” he said, still not following.

“But you don’t let yourself have it.”

“You’re saying this is my fault.”

“I’m saying you have a part in it, Jake,” you said reasonably. “You put all these walls up, all of these protections. The only time you’re vulnerable is when you’re drunk.”

“That’s not true,” he said. He almost sounded hurt.

“Well, that’s the only time you’re vulnerable with me. Of course, I wouldn’t know anything about your everyday life. You only call me when you want some ass.”

“That’s not true, either.”

He was looking hurt, now. His eyes softened, but you could see how hard he clenched his jaw. One of his hands picked at the frayed upholstery of the chair, his finger finding a string and twisting it roughly around his finger. 

“I dunno,” you said, with a little more empathy, “it sometimes feels that way to me, at least. I never see you outside of these shitty hotel rooms.”

It was true; your only in-person meetings were hookups in stuffy hotel rooms, his dressing room, and the tour bus occasionally. You knew he was closer to you than most of the other girls he was sleeping with. The two of you could almost be considered good friends. You texted often, if not every day, and facetimed once or twice a week. But you had never been together outside of fucking each other once or twice every blue moon, when you ended up in the same city at the same time. 

“I still talk to you outside of these places,” he said, voice weak. “It’s not like– like with the others. I can actually talk to you.”

“Okay,” you said, regretting your previous words. “That was harsh, I’ll admit it… But I’d still like to see you outside of these four walls.”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

The two of you were quiet. He stared out of the sliding glass door, out onto the balcony. You stared at him. Seeing him looking so torn apart made your stomach do a turn. His glossy eyes watched a plane passing by, miles and miles away, lights flickering in the darkness. You couldn’t tell if his eyes were wet from the drinks or because he was upset. You fidgeted with one of your rings, worried. 

“I need a minute,” Jake breathed after a moment. He pushed out of the chair and ambled out onto the balcony, leaving the door cracked behind him. You pulled your bare feet up into your own chair, tucking them beneath you. Outside, Jake leaned over the balcony railing, breathing in the night. You recognized that he was probably feeling trapped by your presence, but still you wanted to go out there to him. Snake your arms around his waist and press your face into his back. You wanted to be skin-to-skin with him, breathing in the scent of his skin mixed with the cheap beer he had been drinking. 

Several long, dragging minutes passed. You wondered if you should just leave, even though it was your hotel room. Being by yourself began to feel like the only option; when Jake got into one of his moods, it was very hard to drag him out. You didn’t want to leave him, but he was the type to close-off and run if you pushed him too far. Even worse, there was the possibility that he would storm off and find another girl to blow off his steam with. That was almost too much to handle. 

He was able to breathe for almost ten minutes before you couldn’t take the aching silence anymore. You padded over to the glass door, and joined him outside. Without a word, you shuffled up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You rested your cheek against his back, smelling the leftover cologne and tangy scent of his sweat mingling on the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled quietly. Your voice was barely audible over the sound of the busy streets below; it was early enough for people to still be out bar-hopping and being too loud in public. Even several stories up, Friday nights were always loud in the city after hours. “I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole back there.”

“‘S okay,” Jake said, though it didn’t sound like it was. “Just been having a hard time lately. I know it sounds cliche, but nobody understands.”

“No,” you agreed. “I guess I can’t understand what’s going through that pretty little head of yours.”

He chuckled lightly at your words.

“But I can listen, and I can be here for you. If you want me to, that is.”

With a deep breath, you felt him relax slightly under your touch. He wriggled in your arms, spinning around to face you. Leaning back against the railing, he was silhouetted by the shining red lights from the dive bar across the street. The air seemed to glow around him, enhancing his soft features and making him look even more upset. You reached for him, one of your hands pressing delicately against the side of his face. Tracing your thumb over his cheek, down to the corner of his lips, you pressed closer to him. He was beautiful, in a broken sort of way. 

“You just gonna stare at me all night?”

You smiled. “God, I’m trying to have a moment here with you, Jake.”

His lips turned up, though it didn’t completely meet his eyes. “I’d like to have more than a moment with you, my dear,” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He leaned into you, his nose brushing yours as he hovered less than an inch away. His warm breath tickled your lips and cheeks as he eyed you.

“Guess it’s your turn to stare at me, then, huh?”

Your snarky reply was cut off by him pressing his mouth against yours. The kiss was slow, but there was an undertone of desperation to it. His lips were soft, like rose petals, pressing against yours firmly. He hooked one finger under your chin, lifting your face closer to his, opening you up for him. You clutched at the fabric of his shirt, bunching it in your hand as you tried your best to pull him even closer. The two of you stumbled drunkenly, pressing him back against the railing. Your skin was burning against his, you dressed in only your bra and his shirt halfway off. 

One of your hands slipped beneath the thin fabric of his shirt, pushing it off of his shoulders. He surrendered to you for a moment, taking his hands off of you for one second to shrug the fabric off before he was all over you again. One hand found the back of your neck and the other tangled roughly in your hair; you moaned against his lips–this was your Jake, fiery and burning against you. You clutched at his shoulder with one hand, while your other hand snaked between your bodies. Your fingers found the waistband of his jeans, undoing the button with practiced ease. Teasingly, you dragged your fingertips over the clothed form of his bulge, already straining against his pants.

He sighed against you, hips twitching imperceptibly. Your lips parted for half a second, both of you catching your breath before diving back in. At this, your hand pushed beyond the fabric of his jeans and underwear, finding his throbbing length. 

He hissed then, feeling your fingertips touching him, whispering against the skin. You touched him just enough for him to feel it, your thumb ghosting over him to spread out the moisture from his leaking tip. You swallowed his moan with a smile, pleased that you had this effect on him. A second later, you pushed him back, pulling your raw lips away from him. 

“What are you doing?” he asked impatiently, watching as you carefully peeled his pants down, exposing his cock to the cool night air.

“Seems like you need some special attention, Jakey.” You dropped to your knees without a second thought. You gazed up at him through your lashes as you tied your hair back from your face. The view of him from this angle was salacious, his hair slicked down on his forehead, eyes hooded as he watched you expectantly. A nasty little grin played on your lips as you finally leaned into him, gathering saliva in your mouth and licking a long, slow stripe up the underside of his cock. As you reached the tip, you gently parted your lips around him, swirling your tongue tenderly around the tip.

Jake groaned, a low, gravelly sound that sent a jolt down your spine and straight to your core. You couldn’t wait for him to lose his patience; you loved teasing him to the point of no return, loved getting him so worked up that he’d fuck you until the muscles in your legs seized up and you couldn’t walk. You drooled around his cock at the thought, ever so slowly bobbing your head and suckling softly. You couldn’t give him too much– you had to keep him just on the edge of toe-curling pleasure until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“God, fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, throwing his head back.

You hollowed your cheeks around him, speeding up your movements for a second before slowing down again, and repeating your ministrations over and over. You used one of your hands to hold his hips back against the balcony railing, while the other joined your mouth on his cock. Your movements had increased from slow and sensual to almost aggressive, thrusting him quickly towards his climax. As you flicked your tongue against the vein at the base of his cock, you could feel his thighs trembling slightly. Little whimpered moans and breathy pants of your name poured from his lips; he was so pretty standing there above you, unable to look you in the eyes as you took care of him. You adored the way he gazed down at you, almost hypnotized, then looked away as he became bashful at the sounds he was letting out. 

Trying to ignore the needy throbbing between your own legs, you pushed yourself to the limit. Tears filled your eyes as you took him completely to the base, the head of his cock brushing the back of your throat as you moaned around him. He moaned sharply, one of his hands tangling into your hair once again.

“Ah, Y/N, enough,” he hissed, pulling against the strands of your hair. You groaned in protest around him, still swirling your tongue with determination. Another pointed moan left his lips, but he still was pulling you away. “I said enough,” he growled, voice tinged with frustration. He dragged you up to your feet, one hand in your hair and the other gripping your arm.

You stared at him, wide-eyed with an excited sort of fear. Licking your lips, you looked at him with those doe eyes and waited for his next move. 

“Feeling like a dirty girl tonight, huh?” The hand that was wrapped around your arm moved to circle around your throat. Your heart thrummed excitedly at the feeling of his calloused fingers pressing into the delicate, unmarked skin of your neck. He squeezed, perhaps harder than intended, and you winced as he pressed his lips to yours. A breathy sigh left your lips, the pain deliciously blooming beneath his fingers. You were dripping at the thought of what was coming next: Jake dragging you back into the room to drill you into the mattress.

But you were wrong.

“Think you need to be punished, my dirty girl,” he muttered as he pulled out of the kiss. “When I tell you to do something, you do it. You understand?”

“Hmm, yes, sir,” you responded. A mischievous glint flickered in your eyes; he knew you loved it when he treated you like a disobedient little brat. 

“That’s right, baby,” he said, tracing his touch over the finger-shaped bruises blooming on your neck. He pulled your hair sharply, exposing your throat to him fully. He trailed his mouth down your jawline, marking the skin with his teeth before finding your neck and sucking a few marks into the skin. You writhed in his grip, desperate for him to get his hands on the rest of you. At this rate, you were going to orgasm from the gravelly sound of his voice egging you on.

“Take these off,” he hooked one finger into the waistband of your pants and snapped the waistband against your skin. You bit your lip; it crossed your mind to disobey him again, to see just how worked up you could get him, but you caught the look in his eyes and knew he wasn’t in a joking mood tonight. He was going to ruin you. You removed the pants, goosebumps prickling your burning skin as the cool night air surrounded you. 

His eyes drank you in for a moment, dragging over the curves and valleys of your body hungrily. He bit his lip, taking a deep breath before he reached for you again. He directed you towards the balcony railing, pushing you against it. He placed one hand in the center of your back and pushed down, bending you over the cool metal. You hissed as it bit into your skin, but the pain was nothing in comparison to his burning touch. His other hand traced a path down your spine, over the curve of your ass, and found its way in between your legs. You were soaked clean through your panties, even your thighs were sticking together, slick with your arousal. Jake groaned throatily at the sight. 

“You’re a fucking mess for me, baby,” he said, a dark chuckle tumbling from his lips.

“Only for you,” you said, voice shaky. Your legs were weak already; he practically had you on your tip-toes, chest pushed over the side of the railing; his body pressing you against the metal was the only thing keeping you grounded. The thrill of it all was only making you more needy for him.

There was a smile in his tone as he spoke again, “Look at you, baby, being all sweet for me now.” His palm traced up your soaked slit and found your ass, rubbing lovingly against the skin. “Oh, it’s just too bad I’m gonna have to mark this pretty little ass up…”

You gasped at his words, the hand quickly following his sentence with a sharp slap against your ass. You bit your lip to keep from crying out, your brows pulled together at the delightful pain spreading over your skin. Your core was throbbing desperately at this point, clenching around nothing. You needed him so badly you thought you might scream.

“Jake, please,” you breathed, unable to even form a proper sentence. 

“Please, what?” he asked, voice curious.

“Just please, please do something,” you whined. 

He laughed again. “I am doing something sweetheart…”

You groaned. At that, there was another ringing slap and burning pain blooming over the same spot. You knew you were going to be sore tomorrow, his handprint stained into your skin like a red and purple mosaic underneath your clothes. The sweet torture of his hand landing blows against you came again, and again as you begged him for mercy. By the end of it all, you were trembling so badly and aching between your legs so much that you were practically on the edge. As soon as he touched you, you thought you were going to explode.

Your dear Jake wasted no time. 

“Ready for me, sweet baby? Ready for me to finish torturing your aching little pussy?” His words dripped with pure lust, hot and breathy in your ear. The spanking had done as much for him as it had for you, and that fact made things even worse. You squirmed wildly as he finally pressed against you, swollen tip finding your entrance with ease.

“Fuck me, please Jake,” you cried out. Your hands shook as you gripped the metal railing pressed into your stomach. There would be another mark for you to worry about in the morning, but you didn’t care. Jake bottomed out inside of you and an obscene noise tore from your lips, luckily still drowned out by the sound of the city below. 

Sweat poured down your face as you grew dizzy at the feeling of his hips slamming into you. You could barely see, your vision swimming as your orgasm approached at the speed of light. Your knees had collapsed minutes ago, but Jake and the railing held you in place as he drilled into you. The pair of you were soaked through with your arousal, filthy wet noises joining the chorus of both of your moans and whines as he fucked you ruthlessly. 

“Y/N, I need you to cum,” Jake breathed, pressing his forehead against your back. His lips found the skin of your shoulder, kissing you gently. The feeling drove you crazy, how gentle he was being despite his unwavering pace fucking into you. “I need you to cum, baby, I’m not gonna last much longer.” His breath fanned over your back.

He needn’t tell you twice. With a few more hard thrusts, his cock had you flying into your climax. You cried out his name, eyes squeezed shut so tightly that a thousand colors bloomed behind your eyelids. He rode you through your orgasm, hips growing shaky as he tried his hardest to hold his own off. You came down, still clenching around him, and he forced himself to pull out of you. His release painted the skin of your back, warm against your cooling skin. You breathed deeply as you pushed away from the balcony railing. The ache was finally beginning to settle into your body; you were sore all over.

Jake buttoned his pants back up, and retrieved his shirt from the floor so you could wear it. You hobbled clumsily back into the hotel room, letting him close the door behind the two of you. 

“I’ll get you a rag,” he said gently, as you flopped face-down onto the bed. He returned from the bathroom, unhooking your bra and using the rag to wipe all his cum off of your skin. As he stood, one of his hands gently rubbed over the raw skin of your bare ass. You winced. “Sorry, baby.”

“‘S okay,” you muttered, voice weak. You were exhausted. He returned again, patiently dressing you in his shirt and buttoning it halfway. You muttered a garbled thanks, dazed as he joined you in your bed, curled up beneath the covers.

“Would now be a bad time to say that I was talking about us earlier?”

“What?” you asked. A yawn played on your lips, and you breathed him in as he snaked his arms around you. You buried your face into his neck.

“I just– I don’t wanna be fuckbuddies anymore, Y/N. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

You smiled against his skin, pressing your lips gently to his throat. 

“‘Bout time you came out and said it.”

[popjunkie42]

Ok, I can’t stop thinking about Cardan the brother-in-law, especially in Queen of Nothing and Prisoner’s Throne. Cardan who had the worst family ever, suddenly getting to join Jude’s. And by QoT the power of sisters has never been stronger, and here comes Cardan, this little feral stray cat they let in. He’s hiding in the corner and won’t let you pet him but he’s very interested in your dinner, and the snuggling on the couch. And on the second day he’s out of hiding but still runs away when you get close. But by day three he’s eating out of his bowl and before you go to bed he comes up and rubs a little bit on your leg and it’s all over from there.

Even with his friends, Cardan only knew dysfunction, with Nicasia and Locke and Valerian. But even though the Duartes have their own toxic shit (TARYN) there’s love there. And there’s comfort, and familiarity, and informality, and suddenly he gets to be a part of that. He’s probably afraid he’s going to mess it all up, say something too mean or misunderstand a tone or just speak too loud and it all disappears. Cardan, who hated Jude because her adopted father loved her more than his own parents ever did him, gets to actually join her family.

And ten years later, they are a FAMILY family. Sitting around the dinner table, teasing and fighting and driving each other nuts. Jude and Cardan sigh and talk in bed at night about wtf to do with Madoc, he needs a retirement hobby. And they side eye Taryn’s drama, and Oriana would NEVER say anything but they both know what that disapproving look means. And maybe sometimes they drive him insane, or really fuck things up, but deep down he is just thrilled that he gets to be part of a real life family. Jude will come to bed sometimes on an absolute tear, railing about Oak or Vivi or Madoc, and he just pats her hand and lets her vent it all out while smiling to himself.

[jester089]

…Can I have the digital circus gang with an s/o who kicks Jax’s a$$ when he goes too far in his ‘pranks’. So like, they’ll let a few remarks, jabs and ‘lighter’ pranks through if they don’t actually hurt anyone. But things like infesting Ragatha’s room with bugs, tormenting Pomni about her situation/mental state, breaking Gangle’s mask, stealing and hiding Zooble’s parts, demolishing Kinger’s impenetrable fortress or even royally messing up Caine’s adventures or shows for a laugh will get him in all sorts of trouble.

Sorry for the long request, rewatched TADC after Helluva Boss’s newest episode (omg so gooooood) and wanted some revenge for how much of a prick Jax is to everyone.

A well deserved A&% kicking

FINALLY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST! I HAVE WANTED TO KICK JAX'S TEETH IN SINCE HE TRIPPED RAGATHA AND PUSHED GANGLE IN THE MEET THE CHARACTERS TEASER! Don't take that as I don't want fluffy requests for him. Cause I do. I've just waiting for enough reason to write about this concept for a little while. Jax x Reader who fights back

Jax hated you. Well more then the others at least cause you were the only one who wouldn't just let him get away with any and everything. And he despised you for that. Because of his track record you don't trust him, and can come across as a little protective over the others when it comes to him. You all are literally trapped in a digital circus. You don't need more problems. And Jax is just a walking problem. One time he found a pair of scissors and cut up Gangle and hid her in a box that he buried outside. When you found out about it you comforted Gangle and helped her get Caine so she could be in one piece again. You kicked the absolute s&@# out of him once you were sure Gangle was at least kind of ok. You wish you could do some actual damage but sadly that isn't possible in the circus. So you left him tied up and with tape over his mouth quiet corner that no one visits. He deserves it. And the week and a half he was gone was really calm and enjoyable only reinforcing the fact that he makes living here so much harder then it needs to be. In the time he was gone you broke into his room to make sure he didn't have anything else he could use to hurt others. You took everything that could be a problem as well as all his keys, so he couldn't get into everywhere anymore. But good news is you have made the circus a much safer and calmer place. And Jax's "pranks" have slowed a ton cause he can't just do anything whenever he wants anymore. He actually has to think about it and be careful not to get caught. Bad news is because of you his more sadistic tendencies have spiked since he can't constantly vent them. So the "pranks" he does do are much more messed up. His "pranks" can be awful at the best of times, and with you he actually has a reason and want to cause problems and pain. So watch your back. Cause you've made enemies with the most sadistic person there. (I wrote this in like a minute. I get it's kind of short but I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. Thank you for the request! And I hope you enjoyed!)

(Little heads up I updated my request rules so please check back before you request something. Thank you again!) xoxo, Jester

Edit: I'm so sorry. I didn't see TADC crew's S/O. I thought you wanted just like my ideas. I can re write this if you want.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy WTF Friday everyone?! YIKES ON BIKES. That sure was an episode.

Back again with another round of the fic I've been reading this week. You can find previous rec lists here. As previously I'm here for henren and all buddie/bucktommy/buddietommy configurations...and apparently this week, all of heroic_pants' Buck and/or Eddie with Josh fic?!

Bring on the drama. *eyes next week's potential list like...welp*

10 May 2024

a mouth full of teeth and nothing to sing by @cal-daisies-and-briars A HEN CENTRIC FIC!!!!! I'm living. Post 07x03, Hen struggles to process the cruise ship rescue and drunk driver call in the midst of ongoing tension with her friends. In which Hen gets the apologies she deserves and gets to vent her frustrations, whilst also self examining her own actions. Fantastic crunchy characterisation.

time will tell by @bekkachaos '5 times Hen and Karen suspect Buck might not be one hundred percent straight, and 1 time they realise they were so damn right. aka., Henren knows and they occasionally speculate about Buck, and Eddie, and now, Tommy.' For everyone absolutely thriving over that reaction in 7x06.

Better Late Than Never by @pop-me soft semi-somnophilic sapphic henren married vibes which I ADORED. Pillow princess Karen, as she deserves. A gorgeous little slice of life domestic scene that was truly so loving and sexy, loved it.

and my heart and my hat by Anonymous (who are you mysterious author, I love your Tommy voice SO MUCH!) This was such a great Tommy POV from 7x03-7x04, charting his feelings from the moment Chim calls him to ask for his help with the cruise ship search, through to the kiss. I really enjoyed the whole ensemble camaraderie of this fic, Tommy's perspective on Hen, as well as the lovely moments where we see all the ways Buck just being Buck is charming to Tommy. So enjoyable.

raspberry. by @buckttommy good lord...hot!!!!! Buck, Tommy, a gay club, a handsome stranger, exhibitionism and some exploratory D/S vibes. This was just *fans self* super sensuous and unabashedly queer, I loved it.

And if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew by @pantsaretherealheroes In which 'Eddie wakes up the morning after Maddie and Chimney’s wedding with a hangover, and unexpected bed-mate, has a panic attack and a hell of a realisation. Josh makes coffee. They talk.' This is ultimately a buddie fic, but with some glorious supportive Josh along the way, with just the right amount of cattiness too. I just really loved this dynamic and odd couple vibe.

are we still friends? can we be friends? by @pantsaretherealheroes ok how about that, but instead Buck and Josh genuinely have a casual dating set up and all sorts of fun together, mutually agreeing to keep each other in the loop if it stops being what they want. Meanwhile Eddie is PINING, and Maddie is feeling some kind of way about it all. I just really enjoyed the maturity of the dating within these parameters, and the complicated feelings along the way.

treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate by @bucktheally this is the fourth part in an bucktommy alternative meeting bright as the morning, soft as the rain series in which Tommy was never part of the 118, but can also be read standalone. Look this instalment of the fic got me totally enchanted the moment that Buck set himself up with his laptop 'intent on Wikipedia’ing himself into the queer community in-between naps.' Perfect characterisation. No notes. The fic is sexy, sweet, and I love the development of their relationship set up from this initial premise. Buck just loves to learn!

Won't Be Long Before I Belong by @justaswampdemon a post madney wedding coda fic in which Buck accidentally comes out via soot and Tommy meets everyone. Sweet, tender, gentle and caring.

PS - once again sending out the signal to ask if you have any henren authors/fic recs I should check out PLEASE let me know! I love them!

[annastylepie]

The Butlers apprentice AU

Dc x Dp au 1. uwu

ok so like Alfred is like Dannys Great Grandpa or something I really don't care tbh.

At a Family reunion Alfred raising and beeing surrounded by detectives quickly picks up that Danny when close to his parents seems uncomfortable especially when they talk about ghosts and the manece Phantom. As the reunion goes on he notices that danny at times would seem to walk a little too silent to be normal. Upon asking Danny about his oppinion on Phantom out of his parents ear shot he praises the hero and states that he is nothing like his parents make him seem etc. etc.

Some time later when danny is around 17, maybe at a different reunion or even the same Alfred wittneses Danny transform and is explained by him and Jazz the situation. Danny procedes to vent about wanting to move out but not wanting to leave family so Alfred procceds to offer him a room at the manor. Danny is hesistent on taking the offer at first. But after a too close call with the GIW and his perents as well as encouragement from Jazz and his friends he gives and goes to live in the menor under the condition, that he doesn't want to just mooch of of his great Grandpa. So he starts his Butler apprenticeship in the Wayne Manor, where he procedes to learn how to properly cook without the food coming to life, keep up in housework and everything a butler needs to know.

The best part Danny seems incredibly efficient within an hour he can have the entire manor from a litteral bomb exploded here to sparcling clean you could eat from the floor. Danny was entrusted with the secret identeties of the Batfam as well as the batcave.

Bruce was first did all type of reseche of course not just anyone even family of Alfred could just know about their after dark affairs noting that beside the ghost hunter parents and not exactly good grades, Danny was a normal 17 something year old however upon the reveal Danny did not seem surprised at all. How?

"I found the cave like a month ago what do you mean it is hard to find? If we didn't dust it as regularly as we do it would be as obvious as hanging a sign"

Bruce then insits that Danny needs to get some training on self defence and fightling so he doesn't pose too big risks in existing on Wayne manor. Bruce is suprised that Danny is actually able to hold his own in a fight, so after some more reserch he makes the connection that Danny is Phantom.

-------------

Danny likes Tim he is a smart dedicated vigilante guy that somehow reminds him of his early days in the way of how little sleep he gets and just doesn't take care of himself all that much. Danny swore to himself to make sure that Tim takes more care of himself and if he goes a little spooky to do so so be it

Tim is certain that something is up with Danny but just can't put a finger on what and it is driving him mad even more now that Bruce seems to trust him. Danny does impossible tasks that just no one seems to aknowlege. Like sneaking him a coffe when he needs to actually survive the day without sleeping in between somehow danny's coffe just works better than any other he can get anywhere else. Danny seems to also be adament on Tim taking breaks and sleeping. Joy.

Danny the menace he is puts his whole chaos energy into confusing the sleep deprivied Tim with the goal to ultimately get him to sleep. What could convince Tim that he needs more sleep? :

-Danny walks by tim 4 times always coming from a Room that has no other exit or enterece what is so confusing? it is on the second floor and after exiting he doesn't enter the room again

-He would at times just fade out of view as if he was never there

-Sometimes he would invisibly follow him around and move things just so slightly that it could be just be his imagination or sleep deprived brain making stuff up

(-Danny also gives Tim 'coffee' when asked because when Danny makes it he can actually survive the rest of the day without getting tired danny won't share his secret on how he does it ( it is totally ectoplasmd) )

After each confrontation on how he does these things Danny denyies everything and tells him: "I am just one hell of a butler. Now go to bed"

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Dick and Danny upon fist meeting could only be considered imediate sibling adopion or whatever as well as a ever since frequent pun off

Dick also tries to brother Danny around, Danny is in a strange in between position of enjoying it and beeing conflicted on if he should get to attached... it is too late he is too far in at this point

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Damien is a little shit at the beginning and probably even after a longer time

Damien might do a spoiled kid route at fist asking for more and more outlandish and impossible tasks, however danny delivers every time

You want something from that one store 2 hours away? here you go

Need something from your grandpa's but seems impossible? here you go

You want an ancient catana one of the first ones ever created? here you go

Space rock? "I don't want a space rock as you called it" I will get you a freakn' space rock

I also imagine that damien would spar with danny at first because danny wanted to teach damien some respect for others and damien because he couldn't let it stand that a freakn civilian can beat him in something like fighting when he was training since he was basiclly just a todler.

As time passes Damien gains Respect for Danny and sees him as a Rolemodle as well as something close to a cousin.

Damien knows of Danny beeing a halfa, they agree to not tell Tim until he figures it out himself

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Now half a year into the whole buttler thing, Jason and Danny meet the first time

Danny feels sick something in here smells rotten it makes him sick what is this horrible smell where did it come from he house is clean the kitchen is freshly cleanded and the trash taken out there is no reason for this foul of smell to exist anywhere near the manor that is when he sees Alfred talking to someone with a white streak in their hair.

"Danny why don't you join us? This is Master Jason. Master Jason this is my Grandson Danny"

"It is a pleasure to meet you" Danny states moving further into the kitchen the smell gets worse but wanting to be polite he still holds out his hand for a handshake

"Hi" Jason greets shortly shaking dannys hand but upon contact jason freezes as invisible energie seems to surrouned Danny it is familliar and comforting and suddenly Jason feels incredibly light he could fly if gravety didn't still exist but man did it feel debatable right now Jason holds Dannys hand a little longer then most would consider normal all while danny seems to look right into his soul some form of understanding within his eyes

"A friend of the other side it seems, I still got (insert task) to do, nice meeting you and we defenetly need to talk, till later"

just like that danny is out of view and after a short transformation out of sight, man does he reek of corrupted ectoplaslm he gave him a little of his own throu his hand shake to lessen the smell but it still smelled so strong

Meanwhile Jason looks to where danny left the room hoping he would return he suddenly felt so safe and the Pits have never been this quiet before forget quiet they are silent for the first time in years jason can think entierly clearly and relaxed

he defenetly needs to visit more often and get Dannys number

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during his stay danny only tells bruce damien and jason his halfa status the others just kinda figure it out on their own and ask him about it after a while danny would also totally just chill on the cieling at the most rendom times like 2 am tim goes to get a snack after reserch only for danny to throw him an apple from the cieling and dissapearing. Tim went to bed afterwards

that s all I have rigth now have fun I guess :)