#Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

[colombinna]

Being neurodivergent is truly so inconvenient. We need to talk about that more. I had the whooole last half of last week and this whooole weekend to do nothing but study for my big exam on Thursday. I have not even yet managed to finish the remaining 15 pages of one of the texts. And the worst thing is, I don't feel like doing anything else either!! It's not like I desperately need to draw, it's not like I desperately want to play a game, or watch a specific tv show or read a specific comic. No, nope. I'm just absolutely unable to do the ONE thing I had planned my whole time to do - to study about a topic I'm EXTREMELY passionate about and know WHY it's important that I do so - and when I try to push through it I fall fucking asleep! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!! So I end up losing hours and hours on social media, and now executive dysfunction is screwing me all over, I'm taking my meds super late and waking up super late, and the whole day ends up being a mess!!

"We all have the same 24 hours on the day" you speak for your abled self, I barely get 10 these days!

[noncollared]

all personality disorders and basic definitions of them cuz i'm bored

cluster a - odd / eccentric , there's multiple types of this i'll be discussing down below

PPD - paranoid personality didorder , it's known as actions of distrust , paranoidness , having unwanted thoughts such as , thinking someone's watching you , thinking people are against you , etc .

SZPD - schizoid personality disorder , it is defined as showing none of very little interest for social interaction , it is also shown as having a hard time expressing or explaining emotions

STPD - schizotypical personality disorder , people with this disorder often have odd thoughts , speech , behavior , and have discomfort for close relationships

cluster b - dramatic / erratic , there's multiple types of this i'll be discussing down below

BPD - borderline personality disorder , it is known for having unstable mood , relationships , actions , etc , often having awful mood swings , sometimes having BPD feels as if you're a different person due to the mood swings , BPD is very self destructive , and has episodes of self destructiveness and feeling as if everyone is against you

ASPD - antisocial personality disorder , can be defined as having little to no empathy , or have trouble showing empathy and emotions . this can also include having a hard time relating or feeling sad for others

NPD - narcissistic personality disorder , it is often seen as thinking you are greater then everyone else , most people with NPD have a weird relationship with themselves , as they feel as they are the best , but also have a hatred of themselves , on the topic of NPD . "narc abuse" DOES NOT EXIST . if you believe everyone with NPD is a abuser then you are ableist . yes some people with NPD can be abusers , but saying they all are is just wrong .

HPD - can be described as , wants people's attention and desires praise , inappropriate or odd ways of speaking , little empathy for others , tries to gain attention from other people , very vocal on emotions , but at the same time is confused about their emotions , and being easily influenced by others , it's often seen as doing things for attention or praise

cluster c - anxious / inhibited , there's multiple types of this i'll be discussing down below

DPD - dependent personality disorder , causes people with dpd to feel as if they can't take care of themselves and need care from others, so they are dependent on others, they might have trouble making every day decisions and feel as if they can't do basic needs or tasks alone

AVPD - avoidant personality disorder , characterized as being distant , or feeling uncomfortable with psychical touch in any way also known as hypersensitivity . it can include avoidance of group activities , unwilling to be involved with others

OCPD - obsessive compulsive personality disorder , this can include , unwanted thoughts of things , need to be a perfectionist , unwanted need to have everything perfect and under control

[bipolarmango]

OCPD things I wish people would understand

I have a hard time showing I'm not good, or better yet, perfect at something. I was learning my ex's language and he laughed at me and said I sound like someone who has had seven bottles of wine. I never spoke the language when he was around ever again. Other people can't understand why you just can't show up at a dance class when you havenever danced, or speak a new language badly, or sign when you know you can't hit the high note.

Nothing less than the score I've set as my "good enough" limit will do. Going below that is failing and it's just unacceptable. It's not "just one thing", it's something to beat yourself over until you've proved that you perfected the thing you failed at. Many times over. It's nightmares for 15 years because you failed a course in high school and it won't leave you alone.

Hobbies are never to just have fun. You must perfect them.

People just don't do stuff well enough. You hate yourself for having to rewrite, replan, redo everything other people - even your friends and family - have done because it's just... not good. You want for them to succeed but they suck and you must redo the stuff.

You suddenly have not had a date for a year, seen your friends for months, or invested time in hobbies, and you're on the edge of burnout because you just work and study. And do it better.

You have to deal with your own moral and ethical code all the time, and it's high. It dominates your studies, your work, your consumption, your relationships, everything. And if you break it, you will feel the consequences. It's not like you can just stop caring about it. Literally, you may lose tons of money because you can't accept a job that goes against your values.

Everything needs to be on lists and schedules. Excel files will drive everyone crazy but you can't stop. You have your budget planned for five years in advance.

[chappydev]

I often read that people with OCPD rigidly adhere to all rules, but i find this to be a simplification. If that was the case, society wouldn't see us as disordered.

From my own experience, I rigidly adhere to rules I agree with. Rules that I deem illogical or outright bad actively make me angry. They drive me to break them on purpose, to demonstrate their perceived flaws and dangers. Or, I try to rules lawyer my way around them. "That's a dumb rule... But I can make it make sense."

Another thing is, we don't understand punishment unless we know what rule was broken. This applies to interpersonal relationships. We may not literally perceive them as a broken rule, but if someone needs space or even acts somewhat critical, we assume we've broken some sort of rule, and need to find out what. And if someone simply doesn't like us? We'll, that's absurd. I didn't break any of their personal rules, did I? Either I am flawed in some way, or they have something against me on a personal level. Nevermind that in reality that's not how people work.

Just my experiences. Let me know what you think, if you have OCPD, or how it compares to your experiences if you don't.

[ocpdramblings]

Reading a book about the science behind narcissism, both clinically and sub clinically and:

Wtf man. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t make me burst out cackling. But also wtf

[chronically-fed-up]

me when the rest of the world doesn’t adhere to my very strict self-imposed rules

[the-label-sanctuary]

・₊✧𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺｡｡｡ -`♡´-

♡Obsession Person♡

✧An Obsession Person (OP/OBP) is a Special Person attachment that may occur with a person with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). An OP is someone the person with OCPD (pwOCPD) values deeply and may even trust with tasks they wouldn't usually be willing to allow help on. The pwOCPD may worry less about being perfect in front of their OP, or they may feel the need to be as perfect as possible in front of them.✧

✧Despite the name, the OP does not have to be an object of obsession to be considered such, however, it isn't unheard of for the pwOCPD to fawn over their OP due to the potential perception of them being "perfect".✧

For a full list of Special Person terms, I made this doc for a comprehensible list. If you'd like to use my PD flags as emojis, I made this discord server with them as heart emojis! (Originally made to react to my SPs messages)

DISCLAIMER: All of these terms already have existed in the community before I posted them. If you have genuine questions or concerns, feel free to reach out and I will try to work with you! These terms are meant to be inclusive of ALL experiences I have heard of or experienced myself, so I have no issue adding things if necessary. These posts are meant to be short and sweet descriptions, not full deep delves on what each means! Feel free to make your own deep dives posts about your own experiences with these and @ me, I’ll definitely repost as long as they’re done in a respectful manner. 

[losergendered]

ID: A flag with 6 stripes. They are near-black purple, dark magenta, soft magenta, pastel yellow, baby blue, and bright indigo. END ID

NPD and OCPD combo flag! For people with NPD and OCPD, or combined traits, or anything that you think would be represented. anyone can use!

[masquerade-flags]

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder(OCPD)/Anankastic Personality Disorder(AnPD) flag

So we'll level with you, we aren't 100% sure we actually have OCPD, we do have a lot of symptoms of it but we don't know for sure. If that makes not want to use the flag that's fine

Flag meaning:

It has 6 stripes because 6 is a perfect number. The symbol consists of a symbol the is sometimes used to represent the control key on keyboards, and the white flower with six petals is for perfection.

White is for need for perfection, but also for awareness

Yellow rigidity, as well community

Green is for comorbidity, and solidarity

Blue is for order, as well acceptance

Burgundy is for need for control, also symptom management

Black is for underlining anxiety and insecurity, but also recovery

Also here's just the symbol in case you want it

[your-fav-cluster-c]

Sotha Sil from the Elder Scrolls series has Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

Requested by; @chappydev

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Perfectionistic Narcissist (OCPD + NPD) culture is both your disorders amplifying each other :))))

.

[therapeutic007]

Reminder !

I don't know why you don't try the ICBT Workbook for OCD by Tom Jeyco. It's your chance to heal OCD and overcome intrusive thoughts in transformative way ! The Workbook Available on Amazon. _______ ❤️ ∞ 🌳 ⚓ ⭐ 🌸⭕ △ ��� 🌙 ☀️ ⚡ 🕉 ✨

[whereangelshide]

hey personality disorder buddies. checkin in on u guys bc im currently learning about PDs in psych class rn and some of the stuff my lecturer says is concerning </3 how are yall

[avpdvoidspace]

Since you've mentioned a couple of times having comorbid OCPD, would you mind explaining more about the effect that disorder has on you? Out of every PD, it's the one I never find people talking about. Due to that, and the diagnostic criteria itself being (as ever) exasperatingly superficial and vague, It's hard to know where to even look for information about it..!

Sure. I agree that it's very difficult to find information about ocpd online. I guess I could categorize my experience with ocpd into three categories: things that are absolutely recognized symptoms of ocpd, things that overlap with other obsessive compulsive spectrum disorders (like things more traditionally thought of as OCD symptoms), and things that I have to assume come from ocpd because they seem to but I don't know if they're universal because I don't see other people talking about having ocpd. So in terms of things that are definitely ocpd experiences: I really don't feel safe or comfortable in situations I don't have at least some control over. I need to control my space, my food, who is around me, etc to feel safe. This also applies to my time and schedule. I get very agitated when it's interrupted, even if I don't show it. I tend to plan my day's activities pretty rigidly and it stresses me out when I'm not able to follow through. I also have very rigid ways I like to do things, and it stresses me out if I have to do something with someone else's method or if someone in my apartment does something differently to how I would do it, especially things like eating without washing hands first, not taking shoes off before coming in, etc. I try to keep this kind of thing in check because I don't want to be controlling or obnoxious, but it causes me a lot of stress internally. This has been very difficult when I've had a job and I'm being told to do things a particular way but it's not MY way. It's also difficult when I'm intentionally trying to push myself to try a different method for, say, drawing something. Even though I'm making the choice, I'm breaking my method and it feels extremely Wrong. The next category is overlap with other obsessive compulsive spectrum disorders. I definitely get intrusive thoughts and the anxiety inducing spiral of 'something bad will happen if I don't have the tv volume set to an odd number' and 'I feel compelled to make sure my foot touches to the floor in a very certain way right now for Reasons'. I also have health anxiety that gets worse if I try to engage in reassurance seeking behavior (but this only started after I got diagnosed with a chronic illness, so it could be a combination of ocpd and trauma). But you can apply the mechanics of health anxiety to other things that pop into my head to frighten me with no basis in reality that start the reassurance seeking/me becoming more convinced the terrible thing is true cycle. Then the third category, which is random things I think are ocpd but who knows because there aren't a lot of other people out there talking about their personal experiences with it: I like recording things. Every day, I write the weather conditions down in a notebook. I also have very rigid records of my drawing time and draw with a stopwatch going to make sure I'm keeping track and write everything in a notepad++ file like so

I get extremely stressed out if anything gets in the way of this process! You could say my life kind of revolves around this actually. I've actually drawn at least an hour a day for about a decade (knock on wood...), and I track it every day. In general, I have a lot of fun creating methods and systems to follow rigidly. It's like a game even. Maybe why I like playing games with a lot of organization/time management... Love giving myself a list of tasks and completing them. Speaking of games, I love Pokemon Legends Arceus because it is essentially a checklist simulator. Also, I experience something similar to special interests but maybe not exactly the same. I wouldn't say hyperfixations either because they're not fleeting. They're very enduring. I wish I could explain more about how they're unique from either special interests (in the autistic meaning of the phrase) and hyperfixations (like with ADHD), but it's kind of hard to explain without feeling like I'm explaining it poorly. And last, something that could go in either this category or the second because it's something I've heard people diagnosed with OCD talk about experiencing is I have a weird thing with my memory where my visual/auditory memory are weirdly strongly connected. So if I'm listening to something while drawing, if I listen to it again, I can 'see' what I was drawing at the time. If I look at the drawing, I'll remember the part of the audiobook or whatever I was listening to. It's to the point that if I was listening to an audiobook while playing a certain video game, hearing the audiobook again will make me crave playing the video game really intensely! It's like I can see exactly where I was in the game as if I was playing it right now. Anyway, I hope that was helpful. I tried to include everything I could think of. My life is very rigid, but I guess if there's one more thing I could say about that, it's that the rigidity excites me and feels like it lights up my brain with feel-good chemicals. I think having ocpd is like a combination of extreme anxiety and the ability to create fun engaging activities all by myself and with very few resources.

[chappydev]

What makes OCPD different from {insert disorder here}?

TL;DR: OCPD is motivated entirely by control. Any perceived overlap is purely due to symptoms and outward behavior; our motivations for why we behave in such a way is fundamentally different from other similar disorders. Read on for more information.

A lot of people ask me how OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) works, and this inevitably leads to hour-long conversations of me trying to explain it. I usually get there eventually, but throughout the process I find myself running into the same problems; the distinction between it and other disorders. If I'm talking to an autistic person, they'll ask me how it's different from autism. An OCD person (note: i also have OCD, you can have both!) asks how it's different from OCD. Someone with NPD or BPD asks how it's different from their PDs. Because it overlaps with all of these and has similar symptoms to all of them.

Like autism, we need clear social cues and rules. We have specific ways of doing things. We need order and organization (though it may not look organized to others; as long as it is organized in our own mind).

Like OCD, we have a deep fear of uncertainty. We seek reassurance, we excessively ruminate and analyze every thought we have. Unlike OCD, OCPD doesn't have "compulsions" (except for compulsively working/workaholicism, but that isn't necessarily the same as OCD compulsions. I have both, and OCD compulsions are definitively different in my head).

Like NPD, we desire perfection. Anything less than that is unacceptable. Unlike NPD, we can be more self critical (I know NPD can be self critical at times, but we are at all times); one phrase I see a lot in the literature is that "People with NPD and OCPD both desire perfection. But those with OCPD don't think they've reached perfection and hate themselves for it, while NPD thinks they have reached perfection, and hate themselves when that is challenged". I don't know how accurate to NPD that is, but it is accurate to OCPD. We also hold people to extremely high standards. If we do something to a specific standard, and others don't work as hard as we do, we get angry.

Like BPD, we can "split". I use quotes because it's not technically called splitting for OCPD; it simply looks the same. While BPD splitting can trigger for emotional reasons (perceived slights, lack of attention, things like that), OCPD lashes out over extremely specific situations. Oh, you stopped messaging me? That's fine, I have work to do anyway. But you're bad at the video game we're playing together? Why are you wasting my time? Are you stupid, or just doing it on purpose? Like BPD, we feel very bad after the fact; however, while in BPD this is splitting, with OCPD it is our conscientiousness catching up to us. We know what we did was wrong, and that makes us feel terrible. The uncertainty of knowing how someone feels about us afterwards is torturous.

And yet, OCPD isn't any of these disorders. I could, in theory, lay out every single difference between OCPD and every other neurodivergence under the sun. But at the end of the day, I find that it's actually quite simple to lay out how it is different from these other overlapping disorders; motivation.

OCPD is entirely motivated by a fear of losing control. Everything else follows from that. Workaholicism? Well, the only way I can be sure that everything will turn out fine is if I make sure my work is perfect. Then, there's no uncertainty. Oh, but there's just one more thing to tweak, gotta fix that, gotta get it back under control.

Rules, lists, and organization? That's easy! As long as I can follow the list of rules, as long as I know the steps, then everything is clear and simple. There's no randomness; it's all if->then logic. Something breaks that rule? Clinging to these rules ensures control.

Fear of uncertainty? Uncertainty means no control. That's why if something bad happens. I have to obsess over it for days and days on end. Until I find the solution, so I know how to avoid it in the future, and thus never let that bad thing happen to me again.

Perfection? That's obvious. Only someone perfect can control everything.

Emotional swings and lashing out? We need control even over how people perceive us. But we also need control over how we do things, which clashes. I want to play a game to accomplish a specific goal; you get distracted or aren't as fast as me. I am no longer able to control the pace of the experience. I become anxious. I become angry. I lash out, because of this. Wait, no. now you dislike me! Now I'm not in control of how you feel about me because I slipped up and now you hate me! I need to fix this to reestablish control!

That's it. Any overlap is merely overlap in symptoms and outward presentation; it's the motivation that makes us different from other disorders. And motivation does matter. Both for understanding ourselves, helping others understand us, and for treatment.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk lmfao this ended up really long.

[ocpdramblings]

I think my ocpd affects how I enjoy games. Like every game. I played a little to the left for the first time, and was incredibly stressed. It was not organized how I wanted it to be organized. And I thought the little stars had to do with time rather than different ways, so when I first got a level done and only got one star for it, I was incredibly discouraged, and replayed the level faster and faster until I realized the stars had nothing to do with time.

My favorite game is Okami. There are battles that based on how they are scored, give you money. There are clear ways to defeat an enemy. You have options in going about it (what type of weapon or brushes you use) but at the end of it, to get them into a weakened mode they typically have one way. Events in the game are rarely time dependent. Some things can only be obtained after a certain part of the story is completed, or if it’s a time of day, which you get the ability to control. There are tons of things to 100%. I replay the game every year to completion. It is my favorite game. The story is the same every time. How I go about it changes, and the game does not punish me for it.

Im trying to figure out how my personality disorder fits into my other interests, like hollow knight, Minecraft, and mainly my love for board games.