guys I had this realization the other day that Redwall works really well for reading aloud, and kinda half-remembered something about the author reading to kids? So I looked it up to see if I had made a connection.
And it turns out, yes, actually, because he read aloud to kids at a school for the blind. But all the books they gave him to read were depressing. So he wrote Redwall, a story about heroism and courage and making it through struggles, and filled it with so many sensory, visual details so he could give them something better and I just-- that's so wholesome-- help
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Captain Price and his two gremlins of a child teammates.
—
Gaz: What time is it?
(Y/n): I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
(Y/n): *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Price: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
(Y/n), to Gaz: It’s two in the morning
—
Price: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
(Y/n): We got spring water
Price: NO.
Gaz: with EXTRA minerals
(Y/n): it's like licking a stalagmite
Price: DON'T COME HOME.
Gaz: Mmmmm cave water
—
Gaz: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
(Y/n): The car takes a screenshot.
Price: For the last time, get the fuck out.
—
Store Worker: Would Mr. Price please come to the front desk?
Price, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
*Store Worker points to (Y/n) and Gaz*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
(Y/n) and Gaz, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Price: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
—
(Y/n): Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Price: (Y/n) no.
Gaz: Mistlefoe.
Price: Please stop encouraging them.
—
Gaz: Hey Captain,
Price: Yes?
Gaz: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Price:
Price, stressing out: Where’s (Y/n)?
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