#Paper Man film review

[joannechocolat]

On Power, and on Powering Through, and Why They’re Really Not the Same

I don’t pay much attention to personal attacks in reviews. It comes as the flipside of success; an attempt by the critic to puncture what they see as too much success. But I still remember one review, just after the film of Chocolat, when two of my novels happened to be in the Top 5 at the same time, in which a (male) newspaper critic referred to me dismissively as a premenopausal woman writer. I was a little taken aback. Clearly, it was meant to disparage, but I was only 35, ten years away from the perimenopause. What exactly did he mean? It wasn’t a comment about the book (which I doubt he had even read). The obvious misogyny aside, it seemed to express resentment, not of my books, but of me, myself, my right to take up space in his world. That word – premenopausal – was at the same time a comment on my age, my looks, my value, and a strong suggestion that someone like me shouldn’t be this successful, shouldn’t be writing bestsellers, shouldn’t be so – visible.

I don’t recall the name of the man, or the paper for which he was writing. He was far from being the only journalist who felt I didn’t deserve success. I shrugged off the unpleasant comment, but he’d meant it to hurt, and it did. I still wonder why he – and his editor - thought that was appropriate. I also wonder why, 20 years on, women are still dealing with this kind of thing. It’s still not enough for a woman to be successful in her chosen field. Whatever her achievements, you can be pretty sure that at some point, some man in his 50s or 60s – maybe an Oxbridge graduate, author of an unpublished novel or two - will offer his opinion on her desirability, either in the national Press, or most likely nowadays, by means of social media. The subtext is clear: women who don’t conform to societal values of what a woman should be are asking for this kind of treatment; especially those who dare to achieve more than their detractors.

10 years after that nasty review, I finally began the journey into perimenopause. No-one told me it was happening. No-one in the media was talking about it at the time. Even my doctor never thought to mention that my symptoms – the insomnia, headaches, mood swings, anxiety, depression, sleep paralysis, hair loss, brown patches on my skin – might have a single origin. I began to feel I was losing my mind: as if I were starting to disappear. I started to doubt my own senses. I blamed it all on the stress from my job. My mother had powered through menopause – or so she led me to believe – and made no secret of her contempt for modern women who complained, or treated the symptoms as anything more than a minor inconvenience.

And so I did the same. I powered through; and when at last I began to experience the classic symptoms of menopause - irregular bleeding, hot flushes, exhaustion, night sweats so bad that I would awake in sheets that were wringing wet – it did not occur to me to seek help. After over a year of this, I finally went to my doctor, who took a few tests, cheerfully announced I was menopausal, and when I inquired after HRT, advised me to power through – that phrase again - and let Mother Nature take her course. The internet was slightly more helpful. I took up running, lost weight, cut down on alcohol, downed supplements and sleeping pills and vitamin D, and felt a little better. Then, breast cancer came to call, and by the time my treatment was done, the symptoms had more or less disappeared, or at least had been superseded by the symptoms of chemo. I congratulated myself at having powered through cancer as well as surviving menopause.

But two years later, I feel old. I look that way, too. I’ve aged ten years. Some of that’s the cancer, of course. I was quite open about my treatment when I was powering through it – partly in order to pre-empt any questions about my hair loss or any of the all-too visible effects of three courses of chemo. Not that it stopped the comments, though. Even at my lowest ebb, a sector of social media made it clear that my only concern should be to look young and feminine to anonymous men on Twitter.

Right now, I don’t feel either. My hair has gone grey and very thin. My skin, too, seems thinner; both physically and mentally. At a recent publishing event, several acquaintances failed to recognize me; others just looked through me as if I had become invisible. Invisibility would be a relief; I find myself dressing for camouflage. I tend to wear baggy black outfits. I got my OBE last week. Photographs in the Press show me talking to Prince William. I’m wearing a boxy black trouser suit, flat shoes and a red fedora. I think I look nice. Not glamorous, but comfortable; quirky; unpretentious.

On a thread of largely supportive messages, one Twitter user pops up to say: Jesus, who’d accept an honour looking like that middle-aged disaster? @Joannechocolat thought she’d make an impact? She needs a stylist. If you look in the dictionary for the definition of “dowdy”, it features this photo.

It’s not the same man who belittled me over 20 years ago. But the sentiment hasn’t changed. Regardless of your achievements, as a woman, you’ll always be judged on your age and fuckability. I ought to be used to this by now. But somehow, that comment got to me. Going through menopause isn’t just a series of physical symptoms. It’s how other people make you feel; old, unattractive, and strangely ashamed.

I think of the Glass Delusion, a mental disorder common between the 14th and 17th centuries, characterized by the belief that the sufferer was made of glass. King Charles VI of France famously suffered from this delusion, and so did Princess Alexandra Amélie, daughter of Ludwig 1st of Bavaria. The condition affected mostly high-profile individuals; writers, royals, intellectuals. The physician to Philip II of Spain writes of an unnamed royal who believed he was a glass vase, which made him terribly fragile, and able to disappear at will. It seems to have been a reaction to feelings of social anxiety, fear of change and the unknown, a feeling both of vulnerability and invisibility.

I can relate. Since the menopause, I’ve felt increasingly broken. I don’t believe I’m a glass vase, and yet I know what it feels like to want to be wrapped in a protective duvet all day. I’ve started buying cushions. I feel both transparent, and under the lens, as if the light might consume me. On social media, I’ve learnt to block the people who make mean comments. To make myself invisible. To hide myself in plain sight. I power through, but sometimes I think: why do women power through? And who told them that powering through meant suffering in silence?

Fortunately, some things have changed since I went through the menopause. Over the past few years, we’ve seen more people talking about their experiences. Menopause is likely to affect half the population. We should be talking about it. If men experienced half these symptoms, you bet they’d be discussing it. Because power isn’t silence. You’d think that, as writer, I would have worked that out sooner. Words are power. Sharing is strength. Communication breaks down barriers. And sometimes, power means speaking up for those less able to speak for themselves.

I look at myself in the mirror. I see my mother’s mouth; my father’s eyes. I see the woman I used to be; the woman I will one day become. I see the woman my husband loves, a woman he still finds attractive. A woman with a grown-up child who makes her proud every single day. A menopausal woman. A cancer survivor. A woman who writes books that make other people sit up and think. A woman who doesn’t need the approval of some man she’s never met to be happy. She can be happy now. I can. And finally, I understand.  Powering through isn’t about learning to be invisible. It isn’t about acceptance, or shame, or letting Nature take its course, or lying about feeling broken. It’s looking beyond your reflection. It’s seeing yourself, not through the lens of other people’s expectations, but as yourself. The sum of everything you’ve been; of everyone who loves you. Of claiming your right to be more than glass, or your reflection in it. The right to be valued. The right to shine, regardless of age or reproductive status. Men seldom question their own right to these things. But women have to fight for them. That’s why it’s so exhausting.

This morning, instead of putting on my usual baggy black sweatshirt, I chose a bright yellow pullover. I looked at myself in the mirror. It’s not a great colour on me now, but it feels like dressing in sunshine. My husband came into the bathroom. You look –

My husband rarely gives compliments. I can’t remember the last time he commented on how I was dressed. I wondered what he was going to say. Dowdy, perhaps? Inappropriate? Like a menopausal woman in dire need of a stylist?

At last, he said: When you smile like that, you look like a friendly assassin.

A friendly assassin. I’ll take that.  

Shining like the sun. That’s me.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Prologue

Eight people, nine rooms, seven weapons. One person is guilty, and until they are found, no one is safe; from the perpetrator of the crime, or of being accused.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Divus Crewel, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengroto, Silver, Jade Leech, Cater Diamond

Content; Gender-neutral reader, unreliable narrators

Content Warning; Death (not described), murder (not described)

Word Count; 1.3 K (includes guide on how to participate at the end)

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Go to this Google Form! <- form is now closed, thank you to the people who voted!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

You were making your way down the main flight of stairs, ready to go crawl into your bed after the long day.

“Attention! Attention!” Crowley’s voice echoed over the PA system, still annoyingly chipper despite the late hour. What was he even still doing here? “Due to the weather, all remaining staff and students are under orders to stay inside the building until morning!” And the PA system cut out.

You groaned, “Seriously? It can’t be that bad–” A loud crack of thunder sounded directly above the building, causing the chandelier to shake. “Okay then,” you huffed, plopping down on the stairs, “I get the message.”

Of course, you would get stuck here for the night, guess that’s what happens when you stay back to study and work on assignments.

But you weren’t the only person stuck in the desolate halls of Night Raven College; seven others were in the same boat as you.

…

Vil was in the lecture theatre, reviewing his notes for the upcoming performance that the Film Research Club would be putting on next week. He too heard Crowley’s announcement and pushed his hair back, massaging his temple. He would not be getting a good night’s rest tonight.

“Tch, no use lamenting over it,” he sighed to himself. Carefully, he put the notes and suggestions away in their designated folder, and he made his way to the main hall. If anyone was still here with him, they might be there; at least he would have some company for the night, and not be alone in the empty hallways.

…

Professor Crewel was grading papers in the teacher’s lounge, and getting a migraine from it as well. “Have those pups learned nothing from me,” he grumbled.

He would much rather be at home in his finest pyjamas, scratching the chins of his dogs, but no, he was stuck here, and would be stuck until the storm passed or Headmaster Crowley got back on the PA system saying it was safe to leave. But knowing his employer, the man had transported himself home, leaving everyone stuck at the college oblivious.

I ought to wring his neck if he did.

…

Rook was in the library, perusing through various books, just looking for something to pass the time. He knew earlier that day that a storm was brewing, he could tell by the clouds and the faint smell wafting on the breeze. He also knew that Vil would be staying late, and he wasn’t going to leave Roi de Poison alone.

After going down a few aisles, Rook finally found a book to his liking. “Hmm, this is new. Ah, how interesting!” Tucking the book under his arm, Rook made his way to the lecture theatre, as that was where he had last seen Vil.

Perhaps un meurtre mystère would make for a good plot for a future performance?

…

Silver had fallen asleep in the cafeteria, apparently he had slept for most of the day. He had only woken up because of Crowley’s voice echoing loudly in the large, empty room.

Did they not notice? Silver rubbed his eyes and yawned. If he was here, there was a possibility of others also finding themselves stuck in the school for the night. The least he could do was make sure others were staying calm, and staying safe. Even outside of his duties he was ever still the protector, and far too kind.

“Hopefully no one got hurt…” he murmured to himself. There was something off, a dark presence of sorts, and it wasn’t just the dark clouds hurling down rain, hail, and lightning outside.

Something doesn’t feel right…

…

Azul was in the alchemy lab, perfecting the most complicated potion that was in his textbook; he had a reputation to upkeep after all, and didn’t want anyone usurping his rank at the top of the class.

There, I just need to add some belladonna and— the suddenness of Crowley’s overly loud voice coming over the PA system caused Azul to add too much, and the potion evaporated. Azul gritted his teeth, but took a step back. Perhaps a walk would help calm him down… he was going to have to replace all of those ingredients tomorrow…

“So close,” he hissed, and he started making his way down the hall, still muttering to himself.

…

Jade was washing the dirt from his hands, having just come back from checking on his fungi in the botanical gardens. He already knew before Crowley made his little announcement that he would be spending the night, which didn’t bother him all that much. Perhaps he could see what was in the kitchen, since he did have that new dish which looked and sounded to be divine.

But that could wait, Azul was most likely still working on that potion of his, and knowing the house warden, he had fumbled with the ingredients at the sudden noise and probably sulking… and Jade could use some amusement at the moment, and a sulking and slightly peeved Azul would do the trick.

…

Cater was in the kitchen, retrieving something for Trey since they were all out in the Heartslabyul kitchen. Of course it was something sweet, but Cater would rather be here than see the outcome of the freshmans’ antics. Sorry freshies, you’re on your own!

But now he was stuck here for the night, and having nothing better to do, and boredom starting to creep in, Cater brought out his phone and started recording. 

“It’s Cay-kun here!~” He gave a peace sign to the camera and stuck out his tongue. “Let’s see who we can find!” And he started chatting to the camera and walking towards the main hall.

…

…

Eventually, everyone had made their way to the main hall; you, Silver, Vil, Professor Crewel, Rook, Azul, Jade, and Cater. But there was no sign of Headmaster Crowley.

“Have any of you pups seen the Headmaster,” Divus asked, turning up a brow, and looked at his students with suspicion.

Everyone shook their head no. Divus sighed, and turned around the corner, in the direction of the Headmaster’s office, but he stopped in his tracks.

Curious, you looked to where Professor Crewel was staring; lying in the middle of the floor was Crowley, and he wasn’t breathing.

Dire Crowley was dead, murdered. And everyone was a suspect, including you.

About this Event

That's right folks, a classic murder mystery in the style of the board game Clue and some inspiration from the book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie.

At the beginning and end of each part, I will be including a link to a Google Form where people can vote for who they think is the murderer, what room the murder took place in, and the weapon that was used. There's also an optional question where you can explain your answer, just do know that everything was randomly chosen by a spinner.

The form will be active for at least 72 hours; it may go on for longer if I'm busy. A new form will be added with each part, just with the suspect, room, & weapon that was voted in the last part being removed if they were incorrect... and may take some inspo from the book I mentioned.~

In future parts there will be dark content, as this is a murder mystery; all of the content warnings will be included at the beginning, and also tagged (ie. cw death). Because of this, I will not be tagging people in future parts just as a precaution.

Now, let the investigation begin!

Link to Google Form

Suspects:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley's co-worker (Peacock) - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what's happening (Mustard) - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the 'house-keeper', a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach)

Rooms:

- Main hall - Teachers' lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab - Library - Crowley's office

Weapons:

- Revolver - Rope - Dagger - Wrench - Candlestick - Lead pipe - Magic

...

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog, @aqua-beam, @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @hisui-dreamer, @hydra-sea, @identity-theft-101, @inkybloom-luv, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @leonistic, @lucid-stories, @officialdaydreamer00, @ryker-writes, @savanaclaw1996, @silvers-numberonefan, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

[violetngrey]

# :: 𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 🫧 - 𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒂 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒆

i could definitely rewrite this with a different mini obsession plot

part 2

charlie was big on making sure that the club always had a big meeting at least once every two weeks

discussing the latest movies and even the classics were an important part of keeping debates going and he always wanted to expand the number of members coming every week

however he only really noticed the numbers climbing in their ranks when a certain girl started frequently appearing at the back of the classroom to quietly sit and listen for the entirety of the clubs period

it took him a couple of visits to recognise the face but it was you

you sit in front of him in a couple of classes and after that day he couldn’t get you out of his brain

the way you fiddle with your hair when writing something down

or the way you cross your legs over each other when someone mentions a particularly gory scene in a movie

he found himself always looking over at you to see your reaction when he was at the front of the room talking

you barely looked up and even if you did it was when he wasn’t looking

always taking notes and smiling to yourself

the increase in cinema club goers after you is what surprised him

to him you weren’t the clique type or even the popular type

you hadn’t spoken a word to him or robbie since you’d started attending

most of the guys that would come to the club only to stare and gawk at you most definitely got grilled by charlie on movie questions he knew they had no idea about

he didn’t want them in here, not when he couldn’t even tell if it made you uncomfortable or not

his life goal for the club was to now ask these guys so many detailed questions and embarrass them so much that they didn’t even want to come back

cinema clubs numbers would suffer slightly but if that’s what it took

anything to just be able to keep you there as long as possible

robbie would mention you a couple of times after the club was out but after he didn’t get a very detailed reply from charlie he figured it was a sore spot

“how come you haven’t even mentioned kirby in a while man, did you get your dick cut off or somethin’? “

after you came in on a particularly hot day wearing a rather short skirt he really had to hide behind the front desk he normally stood in front of

as you started stealing glances at him and catching his back he really didn’t know what to do with himself

that day was the day he started stuttering like no other

after many weeks and most of the unwanted creeps gone from his club or mysteriously kicked out you stayed longer one day

after everyone had mostly cleared out, you stood up and quickly scribbled down a couple of words on a piece of paper and walked towards him

robbie ‘noticed’ before he did but let’s be honest he was just trying to play it cool in case you were just walking past

he didn’t think he’d be so nervous for just a tap on the shoulder

when he turned around all you did was hand him the piece of paper with a rose tint dusted over your cheeks

“I know it’s not a scary movie but it’s really interesting, from a women’s point of view- i mean” you left

charlie wasn’t one to be dumbfounded on more than just movies but you actually just spoke to him

uncrumpling the paper he found the words ‘10 things I hate about you’ and robbie laughed

the note also had a ‘-my favourite movie’ tagged onto the end with a heart

“you’re seriously not going to consider that movie are you?”

charlie facial expression didn’t change “it couldn’t hurt could it?”

robbie didn’t go home happy that day

he ended up going home and watching the movie twice over just so he could do everything possible for the next day

cinema club was concerned for their president the next day as they’d never reviewed a non horror film before why not a cheesy romance

“c’mon charlie what’s up with the film choice”

“hey i take suggestions you guys just never give them”

after the session was over he carefully walked over to your desk

“y’know i actually liked that movie”

you laughed “ you don’t have to lie to me to talk to me”

charlie had never blushed so hard

the club president wasn’t just obsessed with horror it seemed

please request more things so i can get writing again!

[suzdin]

Washed Up Has-Been: a Dieter Bravo one shot

Dieter Bravo x F!Plus Size!Reader

Warnings: soft!Dieter, sweet!Dieter, smut, angst, bodily insecurities, reader is plus sized but no other physical attributes are described, Dieter is a little chubby as well, mentions of drugs and alcohol, oral (m receiving), mention of sex toys, fluff? (gasp!), did I forget anything? I know next to nothing about the film industry, don’t judge me :(

Word Count: 2,800

Enjoy and feel free to reblog and comment if you wish! 💜🙂

——

Dieter Bravo had not been the same since Cliff Beasts 6.

What did they call it? Losing your spark? Your mojo? Your moxy? Whatever it was called, he’d lost it, along with his marbles… if he ever had any to begin with, and he was sure many would agree he hadn’t.

The reviews were bad, abhorrent, really. ‘Dieter Bravo as Gio Ricci baffling’, ‘Bravo couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag’, ‘I can’t believe this man has an Oscar’, ‘Did he get his Italian accent at an Olive Garden?’, on and on the critics wailed and lambasted.

He’d had a mental break shortly after the premier, firing everyone he could in his vicinity — his publicist, his hair stylist and manicurist, hell, even his agent of twenty five years. He’d hired a new one, of course, a potential script FedExed to his door that morning, fist curled and white knuckled in anger around the thick stack of papers as he perched himself like a sentient gargoyle on his couch, in the tattered clothes he’d been wearing for nearly a week.

A dad. They wanted him to play a fucking dad, some sort of buddy comedy family film opposite Dwayne Johnson, it might be a good move for your career, buddy, his agent had explained. But seriously, him? Hollywood heart throb Dieter Bravo, reduced to playing someone’s bumbling father, opposite THE FUCKING ROCK?

He couldn’t believe it.

He had put on some weight since his last film, sure, but that was no reason or excuse to allow himself to be typecasted as a dad.

Or was it the ever persistent graying in his hair and beard? The laugh lines? The crow’s feet?

‘Dieter Bravo is a washed up has-been’ the internet screamed at him daily, leading him to drown himself in an endless stream of drugs and alcohol…more so than he was already doing, anyway.

He was barely a functioning person. A husk of his former self, he could no longer get it up, unsure whether to blame the drugs or his steadily fleeting mental health, and even putting brush to canvas felt more like a chore than an escape nowadays. He’d become a hermit in his own home, the ghastly, aging 1970s mid-century horror he resided in the Hollywood Hills, that he thought was amazing when he originally bought it a decade ago.

Well, much like him, older things fall apart, and the house was a piece of shit, which was apt.

He had hired you as his assistant and he was so vague as to what that entailed that you were sort of a jack of all trades as far as helping was concerned, acting as his maid, his cook, the middle man to screen his calls, his emails, so on and so forth. Hell, you even took care of the large python he’d bought ‘because it looked cool’, that he was now too scared to touch, himself.

You did it all, and although he never properly expressed as much, he was more grateful for you than he let on.

He always found you pretty, too. Beautiful, even, and not in the fake way he’d grown used to, living in Hollywood. You were kind, sweet, and uncorrupted by a crueler world, always happy and eager to assist him with whatever he needed.

And if he was being honest with himself, the thought of you sheathed around his cock was the only thing that could even get him half hard anymore.

When you arrive for the day, you find him on his couch, glowering at what you can only assume is another bad script, graying hair disheveled and curling away from his skull, teeth gritted in disdain. A look you had come to recognize and were more than familiar with.

“Let me take that to the garbage for you,” you offer, as you normally do in these situations, stepping forward to reach for the offending script.

His eyes clock the way your breasts sway when you walk, the roundness of your belly, the plushness of your arms. He can’t help but stare; he wants to bury himself in you and stay there forever.

He swallows, moving the script away from your extended hand and tucking it behind a cushion, distracted by your body.

“No — no, it’s okay,” he replies and his voice feels like gravel in his throat, realizing he hasn’t spoken all day until now.

Although the script sucks and he doesn’t want to do it, he needs the money. “Thanks.”

You notice his eyes on you and you sit, leaving about a foot of space between you to maintain a modicum of professionalism, observing the sadness behind his dark brown eyes and knowing this has been the norm for several months now but still hating it for what it is.

“What’s on the docket for today?” you ask him and he shrugs, unhelpfully, his lips pulled into a frown, shadows staining the lines of his face. You haven’t seen him this bad in a while.

“I can… make you some hot tea?” you ask, looking down at the schedule in your lap, of which nothing is jotted down for the day.

He shakes his head, carding a hand through his hair. “No. I’m out of tea.”

You chew your lip. “Okay… well, then I guess I’m running to the store today. I have a list already, but can you think of anything else?”

Once again, he shakes his head. “No. I’ll just order it or something.”

You frown and tuck the schedule away, crossing your legs and turning to face him, contemplative.

“Then what do you want me to do today? You’re paying me to be here,” you note. “Unless you’d rather I go home.”

“No!” he damn near shouts, making you jump, and he immediately regrets his lack of impulse control. His gaze traverses your subtle cleavage and you clear your throat, heat warming your skin. “Sorry, it’s just… I don’t want to be alone right now. Can we just hang out?” he queries.

“Dieter, are you okay?” you question and he shakes his head in response.

“No.” A single word that says so much more than that. It pulls at your heart strings, seeing him like this. “I — I’m a nobody.”

“You aren’t a nobody, you’re Oscar winner Dieter fucking Bravo,” you counter, and he snorts, picking at some dry skin on his ankle.

“Yeah, Dieter fucking Bravo, the aging has-been who can’t act his way out of a paper bag,” he snorts.

“If you keep talking like that, I’m going to take away your internet access so you can’t read all the mean tweets about yourself,” you threaten.

“You wouldn’t.”

“One call to your financial advisor and I would and could,” you retort and Dieter scoffs, trying to remember if he’d fired him yet or not.

You cross your arms and flop back against the worn and flattened couch cushions, eyeing him smugly.

The movement pushes your chest up and out, his gaze on you once again and he isn’t subtle about it this time. You clear your throat and stir, staring back at his soft, plush lips.

“Dieter—“

“Come here,” he murmurs quietly and the spontaneity of it catches you off guard, your jaw hanging agape in disbelief and confusion.

“…What?”

It had been months since anyone had touched him, had wanted to touch him, and now, as he stares at your body and smells your light vanilla perfume, after the shitty week he’s had, he needs to be touched, even if only briefly.

“Come… here,” he repeats, more dogged than before, and in spite of yourself, despite how unprofessional it is, you find yourself scooting forward.

He grabs your hips when you’re within reach and drags you the rest of the way, pulling the cushion partially off the couch in the process, a small yelp of surprise escaping your lungs as he softly grips your face to bring his lips to yours.

They’re plush, dry, lightly chapped and he tastes a little like whiskey and weed, but you don’t really mind, his coarse, wiry mustache scratching and tickling against your nose.

Suddenly, with a soft groan in the back of his throat, his hand is under your shirt, cupping your breast, and you break the kiss, looking down to where his arm disappears beneath the fabric, shock settling over your features.

“Dee… are you… are you sure?” you ask. You don’t exactly look like the people Dieter had been confirmed dating in the past, and you feel a wave of trepidation, your self conscious nature bubbling to the surface. You’ve always felt Dieter Bravo was more than a little out of your league.

Not that you’re dating him, but, you know.

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t sure,” he tuts and kisses you again, rougher this time, palming your breast, making your cunt throb.

He groans. You’re so good to him, always taking such good care of him, and you feel exactly the way he thought you would, warm and luscious and supple, his dick already fighting with the seam of his pajama pants, the first time in weeks.

And you’ve wanted this, too, as long as you’ve worked for him, never confessing your feelings for fear of losing your job. You never imagined Dieter fucking Bravo would feel the same way about you.

You know Dee needs this, you need this, and you want to make him feel good.

You brush a hand over his hardening cock and he damn near bucks himself straight off the couch with a grunt and a sharply uttered, “Fuck” against your lips. You grin into his mouth at how much composure he’s already lost from so few touches.

You pull away after a moment and scoot off the couch, sinking onto your knees in front of him, nestling yourself between his broad thighs.

He watches you, rigid cock tremoring in his pants at the sight, the outline of it clearly visible and straining against the fabric. “You… you don’t have to…” His voice is thick, haggard.

“Let me take care of you, Dee,” you mewl as you nuzzle your face against the squishy paunch of his stomach, lifting his shirt to plant small, reverent kisses in a circle around his belly button. He giggles and flinches at the contact.

“Sorry, sorry — ticklish,” he explains and you smile, placing a few more kisses there, more delicate than the ones that preceded them, trailing a line from his navel to the thick swathe of hair leading to his crotch.

Despite the pounds he’s put on recently, he doesn’t feel at all uncomfortable in front of you, eyes darkening as he drinks you in visually, lips tight and parted, breaths growing deeper in the barrel of his chest.

You look up and from your current perspective, he’s all wild haired and broad shouldered, panting, your cunt clenching with desire as you eye him with a wry grin.

You smooth his shirt down over his belly and move your face to the hard bulge below, nosing the bulk of it through the fabric and inhaling his natural scent, thick and musky and masculine in your nostrils. You both groan in unison.

“Dear god,” he grunts, “I feel like I’m about to— aaaaugh— fucking bust already.”

“Save it for my mouth, at least,” you snip and his head rolls back against the cushion at your words, the one with the sag in the middle where his neck always rests, eyes sliding shut.

“You’re so good for me,” he pants softly, already so close to falling apart, “I take you for granted and I’m sorry.”

“Dieter, shh.” You find the stretchy waistband of his striped trousers and drag them down his hips, not all surprised to see he’s gone commando, cock springing free from the cage of fabric, uncut and dribbling against the drag of soft cotton. He’s girthy, and you’ve never seen one intact in the flesh before — literally — a small puff of air escaping your lips, taking in the sight of him for a few seconds before coming to your senses.

“Is everything alr—“ he starts to ask, cutting himself off when you unexpectedly cup his heavy balls in your palm and lick a slow stripe up his length with the flat of your tongue, his hips quivering and bucking involuntarily. “Shit—“

You grin, humming satisfactorily to yourself and continue to tease him, his hands finding your hair, fingers twisting at the roots as the rings he insists on wearing get caught in the strands, pulling ever so slightly. You moan.

You feel incredible, your tongue working his most sensitive areas, and he’s having a hard time holding it together, torso heaving above you, tiny whimpers departing his lips, and he hasn’t even entered your mouth yet.

You sense how much trouble he’s having at keeping himself in check, so you back off a touch to give him a momentary reprieve, shifting to kiss along the meat of his inner thighs, nipping at the tiny elephant tattoos etched into his skin as you do so.

He cups one hand on the back of your neck, watching you through half-lidded eyes, your lips like pure velvet and heaven.

He’s already forgotten about the shitty script tucked into the couch, about the bad reviews and the critics with their cruel, baseless quips. Faded away to nothingness, akin to what he experiences when he’s completely blitzed, negative thoughts dissolving to the back of his mind to be discarded, and for now, for the moment, the only thing that matters is you, your beauty, and how well you take care of him.

After what seems like an eternity of small, worshipping, teasing touches to the insides of his thighs and the rim of his belly, your lips return to his cock, lapping at the precum that’s beaded up at the slit before taking him into your mouth, hand fisted at the base as you work him into your throat.

He’s impervious at this point to keep his hips flush against the couch, shuddering into your mouth as you take him and pushing further down your throat, not entirely on purpose, moaning as the wet heat of your mouth engulfs him.

“Wanna— fuck your pussy next time— with a vibrating plug in your ass,” he grunts, hardly able to string a single cohesive thought together, making your cunt throb and slick leak into the cradle of your panties.

Dieter wasn’t one to shy away from toys, and in fact had an entire drawer full of them, which you had accidentally stumbled upon one day when putting away some of his clothes; everything from butt plugs to cock rings to flesh lights with multiple attachments and bondage gear.

You steady his hips with your hands and hold him in place as best you can, difficult with how much stronger he is than you, jaw stretching to fit him, the musky tang of him flooding your tastebuds.

You steadily rock your head up and down his length, taking him all the way to the back of your throat, and you can feel the veins running the length of his shaft pulsating against your tongue, feel the way his balls tighten as he edges ever closer to the precipice.

He’s wanted you, needed you, for so long, that he can’t contain himself much longer. His hips begin to stutter and you feel his body growing taut, hear his breaths growing shallow and haggard, fingers curling against your scalp.

“I’m… I’m gonna… fucking cum,” he grunts deep in his chest. That’s all the warning he allows before his hips stall and he lets out a visceral growl of pleasure, spilling a hot and heavy load across your tongue, some of it seeping out at the edges and dribbling down his thighs until you’re able to steady yourself.

You hold him in your mouth until you feel the very last drop hit the back of your throat, slowly pulling off only when you feel him starting to go soft.

“You should really clean up this awful mess you’ve made,” Dieter taunts when you sit back to catch your breath, watching the cocktail of spend and saliva slide down his tan skin.

You grin and tip your head forward to obediently lap at the escaped fluids. He groans as he savors the delicious sight of you, affectionately brushing his fingers through your hair as you do so.

After a moment, you rise from the ground, your knees cracking from the exertion, joining him on the couch as he tugs his pajama bottoms back up his hips.

He snakes an arm around the small of your back and kisses you, deep and full, moaning when he tastes remnants of himself on your tongue.

He grins against your lips and then rises, yanking you off the couch and giggling along with you when you pass him a perplexed look.

“Where are we going now?” you ask, pleased to see him happy and relaxed again after all this time, to actually see him smiling.

“You took care of me, so I’m going to take care of you. You’re familiar with my special drawer, aren’t you?”

—

FIN. xx

[melleonis]

it’s 2015 and i am

sitting on my mattress on the floor in the spare bedroom of the chicago condo my friend’s parents bought for them with oil company money. both of us have undiagnosed and unmedicated adhd. neither of us clean. the wide, shallow bathroom sink grows a yellow-black film of residue and shaved hair.

i am trying to come to terms with being dead. the year prior was a cascade of horror, a chain of a hundred different sudden sickenings in the gut, and as far as the world and most people in it are concerned, i no longer exist - which would have been more than fine with me, except that time continues to pass.

until recently, porpentine had been writing a column for rock paper shotgun called live free play hard, reviewing free indie games. itch.io is in its infancy, but unity is ten years old now and really starting to come into its own, and this is the heyday of the so-called walking simulator - Dear Esther in 2012 to Firewatch in 2016. i never played most of the big names, the ones that attracted all that sneering gamergate hatred (Gone Home excepted) - after all, they cost money, and in 2015, i didn’t have any of that. so every porpentine article was a damp, fertile patch of sometimes-delicious always-free mushrooms. i play a LOT of itch.io games that year, and i’ve been missing them lately, so i wanted to talk about them here.

live free play hard is a decade old, at this point. links are dead. games don’t quite run the same on modern computers. twine games which once had music are now silent. these are some of the survivors.

their angelical understanding by porpentine, herself. ***STROBE WARNING*** and also for a text-based game this is an intense PTSD simulator. i considered linking others of her games here: neon haze (link appears to be broken), CYBERQUEEN (about which i’ve already said a lot) or howling dogs (which is arguably still her best), but i went with t.a.u. because, well, in 2015 a PTSD simulator was what i needed.

CHYRZA by kitty horrorshow kh has probably Made It as an indie artist more than anyone else on this list? my metric for this is that there are two whole jacob geller video essays about her games. CHYRZA is pure tone: jittery unity platforming up desert monuments collecting audiologs. trust me, it’s really effective.

Bernband by Tom van den Boogaart this one still runs, but there’s a bit of slowdown in some areas. this is pure exploration through a very pixelly alien city: nightclubs, power stations, overpasses, late-night noodle bars. an empty chapel. a trumpet recital. the empty corridors and stairwells between everything. it’s stuck with me for all these years.

SABBAT by oh no problems this is the least subtle it is possible for a text game to be. it starts with animal sacrifice and gets really fucking explicit from there. as someone who had at the time cut a picture of baphomet out of the liner notes from a random black metal cd found in a des moine record store and taped it to my bedroom doorpost like a mezuzah, all i really wanted from SABBAT was the ability to have snakes for dicks, and buddy, it delivers. i remember there used to be a sort of sludgey doom metal soundtrack, but it doesn’t seem to exist anymore, and the credits link to a nonexistent soundcloud. so it goes.

HEARTWOOD by Kerry Turner hahaha man i’d completely forgotten about this game until i went back through the archives but fuck, it rules. it’s so simple. it’s pure sensation. i loved it then and i love it now.

Off-Peak by Cosmo D i think Cosmo D is still going strong these days! actually, i’m pretty sure i have unplayed games by them in my steam library, i should fix that. Off-Peak is a jazz exploration of the world’s most colorful train station. people are playing bespoke 2015 eurogames. a vendor is selling a bunch of sheet music that musicians have had to pawn, what with the way the economy is going. you understand. triplets stalk you. a man strokes a cow, menacingly. i would say it’s peak itch.io, but in point of fact it is, of course, off-peak itch.io.

anyway i lived, eventually, and went on to make art of my own, but it’s my belief - it’s my hope - that all my writing carries the spores these games and games like them put in me when i was dead and decaying and fertile ground for such things. i hope you play some of them. i hope you enjoy them. thanks for reading <3

[ahundredtimesover]

Belong (05: Post-Credits) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; allusion to depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; almost drowning, sexual content (kissing, oral, penetrative sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 5k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

A/N: Wrapping up this story and this world now, as I keep its meaning close to me, where this Yoongi was a source of comfort. Thank you to those who took a chance with this one. Please know that in the midst of deciding to stop writing, you told me I could keep going. 😌

It was nice to be able to write about a sport that I deeply love (yes, I am manifesting with the NBA game featured here 🤞🏽) and about a theme I’m personally experiencing. Yoongi told us to live in the present and that we can dream simple, gentle dreams, too. Let’s cheer each other on! 💜

Listen to: For All You Give (feat. Lucy Rose) by The Paper Kites || Playlist 🎶

1.5 years later

You walk past the hallways to head outside the airport, large luggage in one hand and a small one on the other. 

Your phone rings and Jimin is on the other end, asking if your flight was alright and if the weather is good. You give him a lowdown of the past 18 hours, including your lovely encounter with a Korean-American family during your Minneapolis layover. Their 6-year old is apparently a fan of yours after you did a stint of hosting her favorite Korean variety TV show, and your heart soared when she told you that she wants to be funny and beautiful like you. You found it amusing that doing cute poses and laughing your way through every episode was entertaining enough for her. 

“That’s adorable,” Jimin chirps. “I love how your fanbase gets younger every year. You started with grandparents and now you’ve got 6-year olds under your spell.”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” You laugh. “I just hope these kids don’t watch my latest movie because it’s gonna terrify them.”

“Yeah, at least keep the variety shows to entertain the babies,” he chuckles. “I already told Hoseok that you want to guest-host again. There are a couple of shows that want you onboard.”

“Ah, that’s great,” you beam. “I need as much joy and laughter in my life after that last project. That took so much out of me.”

“It did, didn’t it?” Jimin hums. “But it’s got the media buzzing about you again. So much for that one so-called journalist who claimed that you’re one-dimensional and can’t do anything other than romance because you’re only good at being in love. Let me smack her face with all the good reviews about your latest role so she can shut her one-dimensional mouth.”

You giggle at Jimin’s words, his protective nature soothing you like it always does. You remember when that article about you came out after you starred in a mini-series, a project you had after the show you filmed in Paris, which did turn out to be your biggest break then. Your role in that drama had you falling in love with someone from a rival family, one of the show’s major plot points, and that journalist went off about your supposed versatility being premised on the emotions of being in love. You can’t really do much outside of it, she said, and it was that same day when you got the lead role for a psychological thriller, with the industry’s eyes on you to see if you’re able to handle a character that’s so different from what you’re used to. 

And well, it’s safe to say you blew their minds. Even you didn’t think you could do that well, but you pushed hard, not only to prove yourself to them but to challenge yourself, knowing that there’s more to learn and showcase even after 10 years of being in the industry. 

The reviews showed that you delivered. Critics praised your acting, saying how disturbed they felt during specific scenes, and that was a compliment for you, knowing that was the goal. The movie was even shown in a recent foreign Film Festival, and the praises are still coming; Jimin’s been the one sending you every article and post he could find, and he’s been nothing short of amazing when it comes to encouraging and praising you himself for another successful project. 

It wasn’t without its difficulties though, as getting into character meant you had to immerse yourself in its darkness, in the disturbing themes that ate away at you sometimes. It was Yoongi who’d been the one to bring you out to the light every time - sending you flowers while on set, giving you a bath after every filming so you’re not left in your own mind, holding you close whenever you slept, and driving you out during days off. It was hard but it was worth it, as you felt liberated from all the negative emotions once filming wrapped up. 

Yoongi was supportive all throughout - including all the promotions you had to do and the moments of doubt you’d have about your performance. He held your hand during the premiere and took you to the mountains for a weekend to escape it all for a while. Other than the amazing sex you had and the time away from everyone, you both spent those days  wrapped up in each other’s arms, easing back to your normal lives that didn’t include you randomly crying at night or losing sleep from your tiring schedule. 

You’d just wrapped up your promos for the film in Seoul and you’re also waiting for the next project while working on some endorsements and guesting on the side. But after the exhausting couple of months, you deserve a break, and you want nothing more than to focus on Yoongi, knowing he’s the one who’ll be needing your love and support this time. 

Jimin breaks through your thoughts and asks if the car he’d arranged has arrived.

“Not yet, but Yoongi messaged that he’s 5 minutes away,” you respond. “Thanks, by the way. I know you had to arrange all this in such short notice and had to work with Hoseok to push back all my other schedules. I know it was stressful for you, too.”

“And who said I ever minded?” Jimin replies. “I’ve spent enough time with Yoongi to know how much he takes care and supports you, and that also means I know just how much his career means to him. I’m sure you already know but nonchalant and cool he may be, he’s incredibly nervous. I just know having you there is gonna make all the difference.”

“I know,” you smile, feeling emotional at the thought. “I’m just so happy for him. He’s been sending me photos since he got here and I could just see his eyes sparkling. I’m so excited to see him in action.”

“Me, too, at least from here. We’ll be tuning in and I’ll just pretend I know shit about basketball and the NBA,” Jimin laughs. “I guess it’s weird to be cheering for the commentator and not the players but oh well. Just tell him we’re rooting for him; Jin’s gonna host watch parties in his house. We’ll invite Jungkook and Namjoon so there’ll be people who can actually explain to us what’s happening.”

You laugh at Jimin’s rambling. It’s touching to know just how much your friends have come to support Yoongi as well. You’ve to remind yourself that not long ago, they were all wary of him, given the 2 times he let you go. But they’ve seen in the past year and a half exactly what that love you treasure really looks like. You always said it was transformative for both of you in different ways, and they’ve come to witness that, too. 

They’ve seen how tough days for you were always made better whenever Yoongi was around, how negative voices were always drowned out by his gentleness and encouragement, how bouts of insecurities were easily mended by his belief in you. 

That love got you regularly going home to Daegu to see his dad and to be with yours, and to make an effort to heal the wounds with your sisters. 

That love also got Yoongi to be braver, to take chances and to make the most out of every opportunity he could find. It’s that love that supported him throughout the months that he wrote for that online sports magazine, until he became a regular guest at an online sports show. It’s what encouraged him to apply for a sports channel’s basketball analyst position; you remember the smile on his face when he got the job and the first time he appeared on TV to talk about the sport he’s loved for most of his life. It’s your shared love that got him to dream again - maybe coach a professional team in the future, perhaps become a household name in sports media. It doesn’t matter what form, you’d remind him, as long as it was in the world of basketball.

It’s that same love that’s going to hold his hand through the next 2 or so weeks, as Yoongi lives out a dream he didn’t think he’d have. As a 10-year old who’d imagined himself playing for the NBA too many times, he didn’t think that 20 years later, he’d be reporting on it as part of the South Korean media. He thinks it’s just as much a dream as any. This is the sport he loves, and he told you once that he can’t imagine his life without it. 

“Oh, I think that’s him!” You tell Jimin, as you spot the maroon car that Yoongi said he was in. “Thank you again.”

“Just call me for anything, okay?” He says on the other end. “And enjoy Boston!”

You bid him goodbye and rush to the car that stops not far from where you are. Yoongi exits and you hug him immediately, falling into the warmth that you’ve missed this past week. You were at a promotional event in Busan when he left Seoul for the US a few days ago so you didn’t get to say goodbye, but it appeased you that you could spend your break with him here. 

But more than anything, it’s the fact that you get to be part of his new world this time, and nothing makes you happier than being able to see that sparkle in his eyes that made you fall for him that first time all those years ago. There’s that confidence again, that drive. Yoongi is all kinds of beautiful everyday, but seeing him do something he loves has always been special. You’re glad you get to witness that again.

“I missed you, jagi,” he hums in your ear. How was your flight?”

“Good. I got a bit of rest,” you reply. “And I missed you, too.”

Yoongi smiles and gives your luggage to the chauffeur who loads them in the trunk. You both enter the car and sneak in a kiss for the seconds that you’re alone, and he smiles against your lips before turning to you. 

“You seem excited,” he states.

“Of course, baby. It’s the big day tomorrow. Aren’t you?”

“I’m terrified, actually,” he chuckles to mask the nervousness. “But Mr. Chan called earlier to ask how I’m feeling and he’s been so supportive, saying that his sprained ankle must’ve been a blessing in disguise if it meant I get to take his place. I did the reporting the other day during Media Day and he said I did really well, asking the players and coaches really good questions. He said if I sustain this during the entire championship series, I could be well on my way to reporting more big games even in other sports.”

“Baby, that’s huge!” You beam, turning to him to see his shy smile. “You could be reporting on the Olympics, who knows! But the NBA… this is huge for you. The fact that you’re who they thought to replace him is a big deal. It means they really see something in you.”

“I still think it’s a fluke,” he sighs. “If Mr. Chang hadn’t gotten injured, it would’ve been him. It just so happened that the other guys are either on leave or on another assignment and I was… there.”

“Then you just saved their asses! It means you get to show them how good you are, and I know you’re good. I wouldn’t be paying attention to basketball if you weren’t calling it.”

“You’re biased though,” he laughs. 

“Duh. Name one other sports commentator who knows his shit, is incredibly handsome, has such a soothing voice, and looks hot talking about people shooting balls?” You exclaim. “No one! Just you! Baby, you’re saving the industry!” 

Yoongi thinks you’re adorable when you go off like this. He always knew you didn’t actually pay attention to his games before because your eyes were only on him. Whenever you’d both watch on TV, you’re often curled into his arms, remarking that he does that same jumper smoothly or that the players are either boring or too cocky. You understand the sport, though. He knows you’re interested because you get basic terms and ask him questions. Sometimes he thinks you just want to hear him talk or analyze a play; sometimes you just giggle when he’s pulling his hair or yelling over a stupid call or when his team’s losing, but regardless of your level of appreciation for the sport, he knows you love it because he does, and that means more to him than you’ll ever know. 

He gives in though, knowing you feel strongly about his basketball commentary skills. 

“Thank you, jagi. I at least know that if I completely fail at this, you’d still think I’m hot.”

“Baby, I think you’re hot all the time. You could even model or act, you know? The industry will benefit from this pretty face,” you wink.

“Let’s say hypothetically, I do act. What happens if I have an intimate scene with someone? What would you do?” He asks, arching an eyebrow because he can almost predict what you’re gonna say. 

“I will cry,” you pout, causing him to laugh. 

It’s all hypothetical, but he can tell you’ll really be upset even if it’s something he has to live with all the time. It’s something he’s gotten used to, though. He did survive watching your scenes with Pablo where you both cuddled “naked” in bed, although he admits looking away so many times. He also made it through your mini-series where you had multiple sexually tense scenes with your co-star. He admits he likes it when you’re more clingy and affectionate after each filming and episode, and he won’t complain. 

But knowing how affected you’d be if the roles were reversed makes him a little soft. He remembers those summers years ago when you’d eye the girls who’d cheer for him during his games and how you always ran to him after to hold his hand and then kiss him intensely in the bathroom or his car. You would deny the jealous girlfriend allegations and he used to just laugh through it. It seems like nothing has changed.

“These lips are for me only,” you say, cupping his cheeks to hold him in place for a deep kiss.

“They are,” he smiles. “And I know at the end of the day, your lips are only for me, too.”

He kisses you again, no longer minding the chauffeur in the car who doesn’t seem to care that you’re being affectionate in his backseat. 

“They are,” you hum. “They’re for your neck, and your chest, and—” you palm his cock — “for this.”

“Jagi,” he laughs, already used to your antics. 

You’re usually like this after being away. You were apart for a few days and it’s been a while since you’ve been separated for longer than that. 

“I just miss you,” you sigh, hugging him now and liking the comfort of his touch as always. “No one would massage my feet after walking in heels for hours and have a bath with me, no one would make me cum to sleep or kiss me goodnight.”

“Nice to know that’s all you miss,” he teases, earning him another pout.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, and I miss those, too,” he hums as he kisses your forehead. “Thanks though, for coming here. I know that Jimin and Hoseok had to push back some of your schedules.”

“No issue at all. I wanted to be here, babe. This is a big deal and I’m… I’m just so happy for you,” you say against his chest. 

“You know I wouldn’t have gotten here without you, right?” He replies, emotional now at how far he’s come. 

It’s been years but the memory of his injury and his subsequent fallout from the sport comes and goes sometimes, so was losing you in the process. And then losing you again. But he’s here now, with you, the night before an important moment of his young career as a sports analyst, and he’s never felt more secure in his life. 

“You’ve always been a fighter,” you look up at him. “And you’re here because of you.” You kiss him softly. “But I can also take credit, that’s fine,” you laugh. “But really, thank you for not giving up on your dream, babe. I hope you know that it gives me courage, too.”

That night, you climb into bed with Yoongi, the exhaustion from the long trip overtaking you. There’s warmth in his eyes when he looks at you, and he chuckles when you try to stay awake. It’s his soft lips against your forehead that bids you goodnight, and you fall into his arms, knowing that this is what you’ll be waking up to in the morning.

The next evening, you walk inside TD Garden, Boston’s sports arena, where Game 1 of the NBA finals between the Celtics and Phoenix Suns are being held. The energy is insane, something you’ve never felt before, and it’s making you giddy and excited. You can only imagine what it’s like for Yoongi, and the thought makes your heart warm. 

You did see him taking long breaths earlier after he’d dressed up and prepared to leave, and much as you’d been so tired, you just had to hug him to calm him down and tell him that he’s gonna do great. He’s just excited, he claimed, but he’ll look for you in the arena; knowing you’re there with him will be enough to calm his racing heart. 

He had to go earlier to cover the press conference and film for their segment in Seoul’s morning news channel. It’s just him, Hee-soo, and a small production crew but it’s all they need. As commentators, they get to call the game but also interview the players and staff, report it, and then write about it. It’s tough and stressful but it’s the kind of buzz that Yoongi lives for now, you can tell, as you eye him in his designated analysts’ table, looking around and taking in the energy of the arena. His smile is priceless. There’s pride in it, there’s acceptance. It looks like the smile of someone who fought hard to have a new dream, and someone who worked to achieve it. 

Yoongi’s eyes go to you and you wave. You’re thankful for the connections you have that got you this ticket last minute, and even if you won’t pay attention to the game as much, being here to witness Yoongi call his first NBA match is too special to miss. You can’t imagine being anywhere else.

The game is an exciting one. You get into it with the crowd even if you don’t exactly have a team you’re rooting for but you cheer just the same. Your eyes constantly flit to Yoongi though, whose position isn’t far from where you’re seated. 

You listen through the online channel so you can hear what he’s saying, and the way he describes the energy inside is on-point. He narrates the plays effectively; you could be looking away from the court and still feel like you’re watching because of how good he is. His voice is calm and measured, except towards the end when the game is close and his pitch increases and he matches the excitement of what’s happening. It’s intense and exhilarating, and when the final buzzer sounds, you turn to him and see that smile on his face again. 

Tears form in your eyes as you feel overwhelming pride. Perhaps it’s similar to what he felt when he was with you during the recent Film Festival where your movie was shown and the audience gave your entry a standing ovation. He knew what you had to go through for that role and seeing your hard work paying off meant so much to him, as he got to hold your hand and tell you he was proud of you. 

That was special, he said. So many times in the past, he wanted to tell you all that, and that you did well, and that he’s looking forward to the next big thing you’ll do, but he never had the courage to. That’s why he’d send flowers, he told you. 

He also revealed how that came about - how he’d driven to Seoul for your first movie premiere with a bouquet of daisies but that he’d seen you with someone, and how he decided to leave it at the agency for you to receive. He almost took it back but you seemed to like it so he just continued with the tradition. You cried then, and he said he didn’t want you to feel guilty. But you were emotional because he still looked out for you and his care for you never wavered. The flowers gave you strength, and you’d told him you wanted to be like those daisies for him, too. 

Seeing him now gives you that sense of fulfillment, that not long from now, you’ll be able to hold his hand and tell him you’re proud of him, and the chance to do that for someone you love is special beyond words. You’re glad you can finally do that for each other now. 

Gentle dreams, you think. This life with him and all the simple things you do for each other and together are some of the biggest ones.

It’s quiet in the car on the way to your hotel, the fancier one you booked for both of you instead of the mid-range one they got for him. Yoongi is focused on his notebook, jotting down notes from his memory that he’ll have to write up later on. 

He’s then glued to his device once you get to your room, with him seated on the couch and agreeing to your orders for room service for your dinner. It seems he’s going through the messages of praise from his colleagues and his friends. A lot of people tune in to the channel’s coverage of the NBA, and other than you, no one’s prouder than his dad and his brother. 

You watch him from the bathroom door, appreciating the joy he exudes. It’s different from what you’d seen all those years ago. This is a man who went through various kinds of pain and had other people suffer because of it, something he still burdens himself with every once in a while. But he did the brave thing of dreaming again; sometimes you think that’s probably harder than when he gave up on the first one. 

Yoongi shows you everyday that courage takes different forms. Sometimes it’s letting something go, sometimes it’s fighting for them. Sometimes it’s loving someone from afar and sometimes it’s flying thousands of miles to a foreign country and asking for them back. 

But it’s always picking up your broken pieces and learning to love yourself despite and because of them. It’s finding something or someone you can’t live without and offering what you can, trusting that they’ll take you into their world because you deserve it. Courage is dreaming again, it’s loving again even with the possibility of getting hurt. It’s trusting yourself enough that you’re going to be okay if things don’t go your way. 

You hear him call your name. You realize you’ve been gazing at him for longer than you intended, and so you walk towards him as he looks at you questioningly.

“I was just admiring how happy you look,” you say. “It suits you, and I’m just so thankful I get to see it.”

His face softens and he reaches out his hand, one that he kisses and he doesn’t say anything else. He just looks at you tenderly and your heart races at the sight. 

You bend to capture his lips on yours, your movements gentle yet wanting. But it builds as time passes, until you feel him undoing the knot of your bathrobe, with him sighing in satisfaction when he feels you bare underneath. Your breath hitches when he cups your breast and you want nothing more than to have him right now. 

You pull away then remove your robe, liking the way his eyes roam around your naked form and how he gulps at the position you’re getting into, as you  get on your knees and spread his legs apart. His slacks get off first, and then his briefs. He removes the rest of his clothes as you take him in your mouth, his cock heavy and wanting as it reaches the edge of your throat. 

You take your time, wanting him to feel good after what he’d done tonight, but he’s the one who pulls away, wanting instead to bury himself inside you. It’s what he does, as he directs you on the couch, entering you from behind while his fingers do their magic on all parts of your body. But he lets you both come together, on the bed as he hovers over you, his head no longer buried in your neck, with his eyes looking straight into yours as you both come down from your highs. 

He kisses your lips tenderly as his I love you, and the way he holds you later that night says everything he can’t say. 

Loving you is what he wants to do in his life. Loving you is courage. 

You didn’t realize just how tiring covering the NBA finals would be. Considering their small team, Yoongi and Hee-soo work double time to get all the information they need to cover the games and write about them within a short period of time. They also have to fly back and forth depending on where the game is and you’ve liked tagging along, enjoying the amenities of your hotel and exploring the nearby area. It’s what you do in Boston and then in Phoenix. 

And while a game 7 is great for the league and basketball fans, you can tell it’s taxing for Yoongi. He doesn’t complain though. It’s part of the experience; the first one tends to be very memorable, he says. 

Both of you find yourselves in Boston's public garden the afternoon after the final game of the series. It’s been a crazy 24 hours, as Yoongi and Hee-soo had to do interviews and then report and then write about the game. You stayed by Yoongi’s side, attending to his needs and helping whenever you can. 

It’s early morning in Korea by now and work can resume later, perhaps right before or during your early morning flight back home, but you’re both at what has become one of your favorite spots in the city. It’s nice and simple and quiet. The garden is also accessible. It reminds you of the park in Paris, the one where Yoongi had come to meet you, and you cried in his arms at the sight of the man you didn’t think you’d be able to be with again, but he braved through his fears to be with you. 

“I like it here,” you say, as you walk past one of the many statues. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He hums. “The pond reminds me of Paris.”

You turn to him and smile, letting him know you were thinking the same. 

Yoongi watches you lovingly look at the flowers. Your head turns when you hear toddlers squealing on their parents’ shoulders. And you perk up at the dog that stops to sniff his leg. They’re all simple but they’re so unabashedly you - soft, charming, and everything he needs. 

He thinks about all the things he loves about you as you smile and laugh at your surroundings. He’s been thinking about a lot of things, actually, constantly pinching his arm to remind himself that this life he’s created with you isn’t just some dream he conjured in his mind to get over losing you twice. You’re actually, truly next to him, living his new dream with him, as he dreams your dream with you. He doesn’t think he can get any happier than everyday he gets to live like this. 

You told him a few times that he’s brave for dreaming a new dream. It’s scary to do that, you’d said, so are other things, like loving again and again, accepting the broken pieces of himself and loving every one of them. You’d said that he was brave for flying to see you and asking for you back, and while he agrees to some extent, he doesn’t think anyone can be braver than you. 

You love intensely and genuinely; you love so certainly. You love like you heal, and you love yourself and others so you could heal as well. The way you loved him all these years has been filled with courage - you loved when it hurt, when it didn’t feel like he wanted to fight for you, when it felt like your love wasn’t strong enough to carry his burden. You loved so hard that there would be nothing to regret if the world ended the next day, and your love is so transformative that it created a home in his aching heart so that it could be strong enough to love both you and him after everything. 

You turn to him and reach out for your hand as you head towards the exit, and he jogs to where you are and intertwines his fingers with yours - not loosely but securely; he wants you to know he’s never letting you go.

There’s no version of life that he’d let you go another time. And so when he gets a message from the jeweler that his order for a customized daisy ring is ready, Yoongi’s heart soars to know that he could at least give you - ask you - something that will let you know that he’ll choose this life over and over again as long as it’s the one where he gets to live the rest of it next to you. 

You’ll both go back to Seoul, in the home you both created, in each other’s arms where you both belong. 

Series Masterlist

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[rubyreduji]

Fav fics from ur moots?

ok ok im gonna try and fit as many moots in here as i can no matter how much we do or don't talk because i want to hype them all up and show how much i love their fics so answers under the cut

also if you weren't included im so sorry i literally love you all i just need to go stalk ur masterlists lol

@smileysuh - anteric; literally IS SO GOOD LIKE THE PLOT >>> minwon is so supportive i am literally so pro polyamory i have read it multiple times (ok but also a break too like nova's minwon fics are insane)

@gamerwoo - sharing is caring but i don't care; it was so cute and funny and the push and pull between minwon is so cute like fdjaslkf i love the dynamic and wonwoo being possessive

@jihoonotes - yearning; so mel is not active anymore (rip </3) but if you know anything about me you know how insane i am over this smau and im putting it on here so everyone can go read it and die over it with me (the slow burn was BURNING HOLY SHIT)

@sluttywoozi - paper rings; JIHOON FLUFF MY BELOVED it's so adorable and i love this song too so it's the perfect pairing and jihoon is written so sweetly also it plays into me being in love with jihoon's muscles

@leejihoonownsmyheart - on film; it is deadass one of my favorites of all time it's written so adorably, i love the reader and the dynamic with jihoon and it has humor and a bit of angst and its everything i need

@ssinboo - grasp the thorn; ROYALTY AU WHERE MINGYU KILLS PEOPLE FOR THE READER??? SIGN ME TF UP also just bath sex is so hot they're so cute but also fjslsdakasdfkl i loved this fic sm

@bitchlessdino - they're all so goodf jsklfa partying in your birthday suit; one of the first fics i read from nana and like??? I WAS A CHANGED MAN, it was cute and so hot and i love how they reconnected from knowing each other in the past

@pepperonidk - home for the holidays; fluffy adorable goodness that just warmed my heart and it helps that christmas is my favorite holiday (also i love a good fake dating trope)

@duhnova - bad dog; i re-read it today and like maybe i am biased because of my own interests but literally i love puppy boy gyu and like the reader is so mean but ajlkskldfs literally died the first time i read it

@onlyseokmins - neighbor!au thoughts; i know these aren't like full out fics but they have a CHOKEHOLD on me like i eat them up everytime i see a new one like yall don't get how insane i am over them

@strawberryya - claws; the idea of scratching up soonyoung's back makes me feral idk what it is but like fdsjkla him and the reader both were just so damn sexy in this fic

@savventeen - to build a home; i don't think this is a suprise this fic changed my life it was the best fluff i could imagine and it just made my heart happy like i love the way jihoon was characterized

@ncteez - ALL OF THEM LITERALLY??? if i had to pick one uhhh the perks of being that guy; i will be loyal to jihoon lol but also IT WAS SO GOOD the plot flowed well and it was funny but also cute and the smut was SO HOT JFDSKLA hon you really devoured with this one

@cheolhub - just the tip; very on brand for mingyu he was just so needy and cute the (small bit of) build up was delicious like when i read this i was screaming the whole time

@toruro - the letter; i feel like im legally obligated to say this fjsadkl but it is a REALLY good fic and ik how much work mika put into it and it was literally A MASTERPIECE like the reader was so relatable and the angst and the dynamics and fsjdlafdskla. im also biased and LOVE this drabble wrote for me lol

@gyuswhore - the thing about love; it's a long fic WHICH I LOVE but it didn't even feel that long like i was so invested in the plot and i love soonie and the way his was characterized was literally perfect like the slowburn was worth it

@lovelyhan - meet cute of the century; i put all of my reviews on this fic when it came out but the slowburn? the minor angst? the smut? PERFECTION LIKE kai put so much into this fic AND IT PAID OFF

@jeonghantis - menace; i just reblogged this because i apparently forgot to the first time i read it but literally SO GOOD and so hot like fjdsalf they're both teases and so needy i was drooling also PILLOW HUMPING >>>>

@beefboyandbabygirl - girl code; obvi like it's my jihoon 2000s romcom fantasy it's everything i need and i love all of the dynamics and the built up AND JIHOON IS SO CUTE

@sluttyminghao - daybreak; i read this a long time ago but i love a good best friends!au and i love vernon lol it was so hot and so cute and i just love how nonie was written

@onlymingyus - 7pm; i DIED when this fic came out im not even joking like idk what was put in it BUT I AM LITERALLY BARKING the build up and tension was insane and like just bss fucking you drives me wild

@seokgyuu - challenge me; okay tbh i didn't know mitch wrote this so like fjskdlaf i read this before i even started my own blog and each chapter is so good the plot is funny and i cannot get enough of it if you have time binge the whole series its so worth it

@onlyhuis - art project; LITERALLY ONCE AGAIN A FIC I READ A WHILE AGO AND NEVER RB-ED APPARENTLY but so so sooooo hot like the set up is so sexy for no reason and the reader is so teasing AND THE PAINT DFJKLSAL anyways...

@thepixelelf - bluff and nonsense; obviously it's literally one of my most favorite things i've read like the angst is perfect and i love soonyoung's internal monologue its super well written like it could actually happen and i just really like the plot and set up ya know pls pls pls go give this one a read if you haven't yet (and there's a she/her and he/him ver too!)

@wongyuuu - elevator; my most recent moot literally due to this fic!!! it's so good like the emotions and angst put into it are next level and i love a good soulmate au so the idea that they cry together is so unique so go read it you will very much enjoy it

[ourladyofoldgotham]

right person (wrong time)

cillian murphy x male reader

NSFW 18+, minors dni

lovers to strangers to lovers, angst to fluff, smut

requested by @joy-dwaekki

3.5k words

summary

It's been thirty years since you last saw Cillian Murphy. When you reconnect at a film premiere, it brings up more than you expected.

It’s been decades. A life lived, oceans crossed. 

You see him across the room and it’s like none of them ever existed.

In an instant, you’re swept back across time and oceans to land right back in that Cork apartment watching him leave. 

The thing was that it was never supposed to end like this. Or at all. The two of you had plans together - plans that spanned the rest of your lives. He was going to be a rockstar. You were going to be an actor. In the back of your head, you thought you would be young forever. You’d always considered yourself a hopeless romantic, always given over to spinning tall tales about your future, but this was different. You thought it was different. 

The two of you met at 19. You see him up on stage, the lights behind him like a halo, and suddenly you’re the only person in the crowded audience when his blue eyes meet yours. It was a whirlwind. He’d never been with another man before, and neither had you, but you learned together. You can see it clear as day still - a dimmed room, bouncing between your shitty apartment and his. His hands on your body, wide blue eyes and a flush creeping up along his freckled chest.

You should have seen it start to go downhill by August, ten months in. He turns down the record deal- five whole albums. He gives you a million excuses - his brother’s still in school, it’s not enough money for the rights. You know better. You see the way he pulls his hands back from you in front of everyone else. He can’t commit to you - to music, to the lives you built together - because it means losing everything else. If you didn’t love him so much you’d hate him for it. As it is, you aren’t sure. 

That September, he went back to school. Law. You call him a sellout, joking around, but there’s something hollow behind his eyes. He won’t meet your gaze when he holds you anymore. You don’t even remember what the fight was about, now, but you know it was inevitable. It’s colder than your fights usually are - there’s no passion, only your anger and helplessness against a blank stone wall. You yell that if he doesn’t want to be with you, he should just go. 

You watch him slam the door behind him as he goes. You hadn’t seen him since - until now. 

That December, you’d set off for America. There was nothing left for you at home. In the glitz and glamor of Hollywood, you’d built a life of your own. You met a girl in a bar, then divorced her. You bought a house, even if the roof leaked during the occasional rainstorm. You got a few parts and then found your true love in writing, working as a film critic. You weren’t a big name, but you paid the bills and had a little extra. All through it all, you’d remembered him. You saw the little tidbits in the papers as he became a rising star- first in little theater productions, and then indie movies, and then bonafide blockbusters. You’d always managed to skirt around reviewing him, although it got harder when he started rising internationally. It had killed you to not review The Wind That Shakes The Barley - you hadn’t been back to Cork in ten years, but it would always have a piece of your heart - and you’re sure you missed out on a good few paychecks refusing to review Peaky Blinders at peak virality. Still, you could never bring yourself to do it. It wouldn’t be fair, you reasoned, to judge the acting of a scorned ex-lover. Nevermind that you could have never hated him. Whether your heart skipped a beat when you saw him due to anger or love, you were biased. Of course, your game of keep-away couldn’t last forever. 

Oppenheimer was a cinematic groundbreaker. Nolan had brought practical effect film biopics back to the international spotlight like never before. It was a true masterwork, one that got the world talking. Of course, that meant that it was unavoidable for you. You were invited to the LA premiere, which meant not only poring over trailers and historical biographies but looking into the backstories of the main cast. You had a little experience with a couple other major members - you’d brushed with them at other premieres you’d worked - but you’d avoided everything Cillian you possibly could for years. Now, you had to dive headfirst into all of it. The first thing you learned about him was that he had a wife. Her name had been Yvonne - he’d met her at a show in ‘96, he said. It was just a couple months after the two of you had split up. You recognized her name vaguely. She’d been an artist, the mother of his two teenage sons. She seemed kind - just the kind of girl you’d have expected him to fall for. You wondered if he had ever told her about you. The second thing you learned was that had, in his case, was past-tense. She’d passed on a couple years back. He’d never talked about it in interviews much. He wasn’t one for publicity. 

It was a bog-standard premiere as far as these things went. Red carpet, flashing cameras. You weren’t a star and you didn’t intend to be one, so you laid low. It was a good movie, you got a couple decent soundbites. The afterparty was one of the nicer ones you’d been to- quiet and contemplative in a dim hotel ballroom. You hear the delicate shatter of glass on hardwood behind you suddenly, and when you turn to look, his eyes are fixed on you. Haunted. You could never decide whether you were hoping he’d have forgotten you or whether it would have broken your heart if he had. It’s clear he hasn’t forgotten you, but you can’t tell whether he wants to remember. The moment slips away soon - he brushes it off to his castmates as a slip of the hand, nothing serious really, just a moment of clumsiness. 

You have your answer. You turn back to the circle you’re chatting with, down the rest of your champagne, and don’t meet his gaze the rest of the night. 

It’s not until you’re leaving at the end of the night that you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn and there he is. He looks as handsome as he did the day he left, the boyish charm turning to something more distinguished. Tired, and thin, and gone greyer than you, but he’s still your Cillian from all those years ago. Something in your heart that’s been waiting for a long, long time starts to melt. 

“Hi - I just wanted to say hello. You look sort of familiar, I thought I might know you.”

He’s tense, poised under a mask of perfect civility. You respond in kind. 

“You might - I lived in Cork for a while. You’re from Ireland, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I grew up near Cork. I think I might have run into you back when I was doing music.”

“I think you might have. A good couple of times, actually.”

The night is cool for a Los Angeles summer. The streetlights shine gold down into the dim night. The question hangs in the air for a moment before you ask it. 

“What do you remember?”

He pauses, the air still and heavy. 

“I remember the north train we used to take on the weekends to the cities. I remember you wanted to be an actor. I remember you were my -” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “I remember you were my best friend.”

“Yeah. Your best friend.”

You turn away, your jaw clenched and start to walk away. 

“I think I should head home. It’s late. It was nice catching up.”

You get to the bottom of the stairs before he speaks again. 

“I never forgot, you know. I never forgot any of it. I couldn’t. I tried.”

He follows you down the stairs, leaving the milieu of the party behind. The two of you are standing on the sidewalk. The street is the quietest you’ve ever heard this city be.

“When I saw you tonight, it was like seeing a ghost. I had no idea you’d be here. But I knew you were in the city. I tried to find you. I… I needed to see you again.”

“Why now?”

“I…” 

He takes a deep breath. You didn’t notice until now how tense he is. How frail he’s become. How quickly your youths have passed you by.

“I married a girl I met the month after I left. Her name was Yvonne. I told her everything. I loved her too much not to. She’s…” 

He’s hesitant to say it. You see him twist his wedding band, still on his finger. 

“She passed away. A couple years ago. She said I should find you. She thought… She thought I would need you when she was gone. I threw myself into my work, but she was right. When they told me I was going to LA for the premiere, it felt like a sign. I don’t think I ever stopped needing you.”

He reaches his hand to the halfway point between the two of you. Your hands remain at your sides. 

“I always waited for you, you know that? I never loved anyone else. I met a girl in a bar twenty years ago that I could have loved for the rest of my life, and I broke her heart. You know why? Because of you. I can’t do it like this, Cillian. You know that. I can’t replace her. Maybe… maybe we need to leave the past where it is.”

You didn’t notice until now that there were tears rising to your eyes. You hate the feeling of it, willing yourself to stay stoic. Not now. You can’t cry now. 

“I know you don’t mean it. If you really do - if you’ve really moved on, if you forget who we were back then, if you never want to see me again - I’ll go. I’ll go back to the party and I’ll go back to Ireland and we can pretend it never existed at all. But I don’t think you mean it.”

He grabs your hand. It still fits yours exactly. 

“I’m not in the city for long. All I’m asking you for is one night.”

“And why should I give it to you? It’s been thirty years. Who says you know me at all now?”

You can’t meet his gaze. You know the second you look into his eyes again you’re done for. You never could say no to those blue eyes. 

"I don't. But I want to. Please. Just give me one chance. We're old men now. What else is there left for us?" 

You pull your hand out of his and you watch his face fall. 

"I'm calling us an uber. You can stay at my house. Just for the night."

He nods, solemn. He puts his hands in his pockets, and the two of you stand there and wait until the headlights come around the corner, looking for all the world like strangers. 

The ride home is quiet. You don't speak again until you're unlocking the door for him to come into your house. 

"It’s not much. LA prices and all. But it's home." 

"No, no, I like it. It's nice. Cozy." 

"Always the flatterer. Sit down. I'll make you a drink." 

He looks out of place sitting there on the dingy sofa in his perfect suit. You pour two glasses of whiskey and bring them over to the living room, sitting down next to him. 

"So. How have you been?" 

It's awkward. What do you say to the man you loved? How do you talk about the decades you spent without him?

"I've been… keeping busy. Work and all. Peaky Blinders is wrapping up, but Oppenheimer was pretty intense during filming. I didn't go home much. The house has felt too empty since… well, you know. I felt terrible for doing it, though. My sons - they're staying with my brother right now. I know they need their father, but…" 

He trails off, slumping slightly in his chair. 

"But I can't be the father they need right now." 

He downs the glass of whiskey and sets it back down on the table.

"What about you, though? How's Hollywood?"

"It’s.. It's fine. You get used to it after a while."

"The good or the bad?"

"Both."

The two of you sit there quietly for a while. It's Cillian who breaks the silence first. 

"Do you remember that apartment you had back in the day? The one with that one window that never shut right in the wintertime?" 

"Yeah, the one with no wall decor or bedframe. Real bachelor pad. I loved that place. Having to move out after we ended things was sort of my last straw in terms of staying in Ireland."

"It was a comfortable bed for just being a terrible mattress though. Where did you find that thing, the dumpster?"

"Of course not, I had more dignity than that. It was on the curb." 

He laughs. His laugh hasn't changed a bit. 

"I have a real mattress now, though. My back's getting too old to keep on roughing it." 

"With a bedframe? From a store? Hollywood has given you expensive tastes, I see."

“Yeah, living it up over here with my bed from a store. Might as well be on a yacht with blackjack and hookers, right?”

“Well, I’m sure you’ve got a deck of cards around somewhere.”

“And the hookers?”

You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Well…. I was a pretty hot commodity back in my heyday..”

He grins at you over the rim of his glass.

“A hot commodity, huh?”

“Seemed to work well enough for you.”

You grin back. 

“God, you’re impossible.”

You lean over, and before you know it, your face is just inches from his, your hand on his chest. His pupils are blown wide, his hand on the small of your back. 

He closes the gap between you. He tastes like cheap whiskey and expensive champagne and water when you’ve been lost in the desert. You’ve never wanted anyone more. His hand caresses your cheek softly, holding you as you pull away, and it’s tender and nostalgic in a way that makes your heart feel like it’s about to shatter into a thousand pieces. 

You tangle one of your hands through his hair and lean down over him. When you slide one hand under his shirt, his breath goes shaky. You kiss along his jawline and down his neck, and he throws his head back, biting his lip. 

You trace your fingers along the bulge in his pants - he whimpers, already rock-hard under your hand. 

“Nobody’s touched you like this in a long time, have they?”

He shakes his head.

“It’s been… god, it’s been years. Couldn’t remember how good it felt, couldn’t even get myself off. Wasn’t enough.”

There’s a desperation in his voice, a silent pleading. You want to give him the world. You’ll settle for giving him what he needs instead. 

“Come on. We’re going to the bedroom.”

You take his hand and pull him up, guiding him to your room. He sits down on the edge of your bed, and you move to stand between his legs, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. 

“Let me take care of you, Cill. Just for tonight.”

You toss his shirt on the floor somewhere behind you and push him back to lie on the bed, leaning over him. He pulls you in for a kiss as you strip him down. 

“What do you want?”

“Fuck me. Please. I need you inside me.”

He’s beautiful like this, the flush high on his cheekbones creeping down his chest, his eyes wide and his hair messy. Gorgeous, even. It’s enough to drive a man crazy. 

“Turn over. Hands and knees.”

He scrambles to obey you, leaning on his elbows with his head resting in his hands. He’s almost impossibly hard, dripping precum onto the sheets. You grab the bottle of lube out of the bedside table and warm it in your hands, stroking his cock before you slip the first slick finger inside him. 

He tenses, and you slow down. You hear him take a deep, slow breath. 

“Do you need me to stop?”

“No, no, it’s alright, it’s just… it’s been a long time.”

You wait to move again until you feel him relax around you, and when you curl your finger into his prostate he groans. You take your time opening him up, watching how he shakes under your touch, listening to his pretty sounds filling the room. 

“God, stop teasing and just fuck me already!”

It’s sudden, startling in a way that almost makes you laugh. 

“I’m not teasing, I’m getting you ready. It’s half the fun.”

“Well, I’m ready enough. Please. I need you inside me.”

You pause for a moment, movements stilling. 

“I just… I don’t want to hurt you.”

The words hang in the air. Both of you know that you’re talking about more than just this.

“You won’t. I trust you.”

You pull your fingers out of him to unzip your pants and pull your underwear down, and he whimpers for a moment before you put him on his back and lean over him, pushing his thighs up.

You slick yourself up and enter him slowly. He’s hot and tight around you. The two of you had only ever gotten this far a handful of times back then, but it still felt just as incredible as it had the very first time. 

You wait until he’s adjusted to you fully before you really start to thrust into him. One of your hands holds his, propping you up beside his head. The other runs all over his body as you kiss him, one of his hands tangled in your hair. He kisses you like you’re air and he’s a drowning man. It’s better than all the times you ever dreamed of him. When you dreamt of him, you never let yourself imagine that he would love you back.  

“Fuck - Cill, I’m - fuck, I’m close.”

“Me too.”

He pulls back, his hand resting on your cheek and his thumb rubbing across your lips softly. 

“You’ve been so sweet to me…”

He looks at you like you hung the moon just for him. Like the two of you, here, now, are the only two people on Earth. It’s as dark as it ever gets out here, but you can still see the tenderness in his eyes in the dim glow of the streetlights and the ever-awake city through your window. Something tugging at your heartstrings tells you you’d be able to see it in complete darkness. 

“Always.”

You turn your head to give his palm a kiss and something in his expression melts.

Your forehead leans against his as your movements slow to a deep grind against his sweet spot, and before long he’s moaning as he cums over his stomach. You follow suit soon after, pulling out and stroking yourself overtop of him until your release is coating his chest. 

The two of you lay there for a while, basking in the afterglow. 

“My back’s going to be killing me tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“Oh, absolutely. At least you weren’t bent in half like a contortionist half the time.”

“Hey, I didn’t hear you complaining.”

He laughs, soft and quiet. 

“Do you want me to get you some water? I’m going to go get a washcloth or something to get you cleaned off.”

“Please. Water would be very nice.”

You kiss him on the forehead before dragging yourself out of bed to get a warm washcloth and a glass of water. 

You’re back before long. Cillian grins as you walk back into the bedroom, turning on the lamp on the bedside table. 

“Missed you.”

“I was gone for two minutes.”

“Still.”

There’s a melancholy in his eyes, one that you try not to think too hard about as you wipe the cum off his stomach and toss the washcloth in the laundry basket to deal with later.

You climb back into bed with him as he takes a sip of water. The two of you don’t speak. You don’t need to. Before long, he turns the lamp back off, and the two of you fall asleep holding each other in the soft summer night.

we heart old man sex also sorry this took like SO long lol

taglist

@lovelybucky1

[skippyangel16]

The Couple Next Door my thoughts…

Link here for a ‘real’ review from that neck of woods👇

👏👏👏

👆This just about sums it up for me, a real review from a real paper not a paid promo success piece from Hello or channel 4 blowing its own trumpet. If you google the series IBMd has it rated 5.2/10 at the moment of writing. (Saying something is brilliant does not make it so, unless you want to brainwash. Kenneth springs to mind taking a whole year+ to talk up Belfast so he would finally get that Oscar for the not so outstanding Belfast 🙄)

The Guardian Nov 2023 promo it as The couple next door a sexy fantastic time …4 stars but then by the 3rd Dec it’s no longer raving about it with an honest review.👇

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/dec/03/the-couple-next-door-channel-4-swingers-thriller-review-slow-horses-3-arena-being-kae-tempest-the-doll-fctory?CMP=share_btn_link Barbara Ellen exert from review 3 Dec 2023 still the guardian…

Exert from link above by Barbara Ellen..

Well for me TCND started off with a ‘OMG not again!’ for the opening shot. I said to hubby ‘I hate it when they do that!’. The second scene supposedly set in Leeds wtf? Why didn’t they find a more convincing housing estate…then (Sam) Danny picking up the washing machine…dear god it made me cringe and that’s just for starters!

Sam…I could not get past his ‘Yorkshire’ accent?… well he did his best, it came through well some of the time. It’s sad but production were aware they were not going to predominantly film in Yorkshire or substitute location with a suitable comparison so why the need for him to do a Yorkshire accent? They could have set this story anywhere. Why not let Sam do his normal Scottish accent ? Far more sexy! Bad decision imo.

I could go on…especially the ladies dress code for a casual UK BBQ, LMAO. For sure my neighbour and I need to up our game at our next one! Seductive dresses, tits out and heels on! Husbands can’t wait…🤣

Does it appear Sam was hired for his body?…absolutely! Is he typecast as the guy who does sex?…looks like it. If he wanted to up his stakes as a good actor imo this was not the project. Can he do chemistry with anyone but Caitriona?… barely, but this was his best effort so far. Sex scenes and build up no 🔥 for me. I found it more cringe so fast forward came into play. Seems Sam is okay with full nudity and grinding again so can’t wait for OL S8! No need for J&C sex scenes to be PG…

Continuity, script, direction, production…dear god did outlander do it?

Out of all the actors Jessica De Gouw (Becka) stood out with a consistent performance.

Gripping? Nah, wanted to give up many times but finally got past ep 3 and pace seemed to increase so eventually got to the end which was then suddenly abrupt.

I wanted to like it, but for me it was blah…should have been amazing! Fail is more down to script, direction and production, had a giggle most of the way through at the script and said wtf and why a lot? ….🤷‍♀️still they all had fun making it and got paid!

For those who thought it enjoyable and hot I am really pleased for you! Sex for sex sake came to my mind, script all over the place one minute quite good another that’s shit.

For me in the words of a true Yorkshire man…

Maybe if I had a couple of wines with the cheese and knew it was not going to be a quality drama but a cheesy soap it would have gone down better.

Strikes me his fate in life is to be an alcohol god, that’s his true path…acting gave him his wife and family and that’s all he needs from it. It appears it’s not in his destiny for it to do anything more than that…🤷‍♀️JMHO

So if you haven’t seen it and want to then I suggest lots of wine and lower your expectations to a tv movie or soap and you will probably enjoy it and think it’s better than it was…🤪

[slafkovskys]

hi love! can i request “ Having a tender moment in the early morning” with luke hughes? love you have the best day! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰

you had seen the video accidentally, well more like it was sent to you by your roommate who was notorious for staying awake until all hours of the night. it was the first thing you had seen when the plane had touched down in boston, someone had filmed you and your boyfriend walking out of the arena in tampa. while he had his sticks in one hand, his other hand was tangled with yours and you watched as he had only nodded to the man who had offered him congratulations and good luck on his career.

you watched it an unhealthy amount of times, you wheeling his suitcase, him attempting to adjust the strap of his heavy gear bag. you could probably recite all of the signs that were briefly shown from memory.

and ever since that moment when you had been reunited in some spare room in the bowels of amelie arena, seconds after luke had broken the news of his final decision — he wasn’t going home for a couple of days, he was ready now — you were certain that luke had not let you be more than a foot away from him at most.

not in the car on the way to the airport, not on the airplane, or in the second sleek black suv that the two of you had slid into at damn near three in the morning that was shuttling you to the hotel where his new team was already waiting. still, as the elevator descends to the lobby, he has you tucked into his side, fingers curled into the fabric of the worn development program t-shirt that basically swallowed you whole.

you hadn’t slept a wink. you had been up for the last three hours, running your fingers through his hair while he dozed on your chest, thankful that he had been able to find peace in all of the chaos of the last twelve hours.

“do you think that they’ll have waffles?” he mumbles, voice still raspy with sleep. you had tried to convince him to stay in bed, and rest for just a little longer before you were due down in one of the hotel’s conference rooms where he was putting pen to paper, but he had refused, insisting on one last hotel breakfast. one last moment of normalcy between the two of you, even though your four-year relationship had been essentially an antonym of normal.

“they have like four chandeliers in the lobby, lu,” you look up at him just as the elevator doors slide open, “if they don’t have a waffle maker, i’m leaving a bad review.”

that gets a smile out of him as you wrap your hand around his arm and lead him toward where breakfast had just started being served. you weren’t the first people there, but you were the only ones still dressed in pajamas. you share a look as a group of men dressed in suits look at you disapprovingly, sharing a giggle. you gasp and nudge at his side, “waffle maker!”

“you get the cereal, i’ll make the waffles?”

“sounds like a plan,” you hum. he presses his lips to your forehead and you go to separate ends of the room. the space beside you feels empty, having had him occupying it so consistently for the last few hours, but the thought is fleeting as you start loading up a plate with various food for the two of you to split.

with two plates loaded, you find a table tucked away in the corner that faces the boston street. the sun had just started to break over the horizon as the city's residents were getting their days started. luke joins you a moment later with a plate stacked full of waffles and what you were sure was the bowl of individual syrups they offered.

“is that-”

“don’t be suspicious,” he holds a finger to his lips as he slides the bowl across the table, “there were a lot of options and i didn’t feel like making a decision, okay?”

“okay, babe,” you reach across for a waffle while sliding the plate of fruit you had gathered in between the two of you. people start to filter in and out, grabbing a quick bite or a cup of coffee before leaving as soon as they had arrived, but you and luke find quiet comfort in your little corner.

“there was a reason that i wanted to do this with you,” he says, voice low as he pushes a grape around his plate with the fork.

you set your knife down and angle your body towards his, reaching out for his arm to pull into your lap, craving his hand in yours, “yeah? what’s that, lu?”

“we’ve been through a lot, me and you. we haven’t gotten to really have a normal relationship, be kids. you’ve sacrificed a lot for me and i’ve thanked you for it a million times it seems like, but it’ll never be enough,” he sighs and turns his head towards you. he squeezes your leg, “life’s not about to get any easier and we both know that, so i wanted to just have time for the two of us where we could just be us. i wanted to remember us this way before-”

“before you have to leave again?” he nods and you reach out to run a hand through his hair, “you don’t have to thank me for anything, luke. i do it out of love because i want to see you succeed. you’ve come so far as a person and a player, i’m just happy i’ve got to come on this journey with you.”

he grins, bringing your hand to his lips, “i’m excited for this next chapter, for me and for us.”

“me too,” you hum, pressing your lips to his, before gesturing to his plate, “now finish eating because you need to go back to the room and shower before eight.”

“what would i do without you?”

“look really bad in pictures.”

requests are closed!

[orojuice]

Denji & Asa watch and review "Neon Genesis Evangelion"

A comic by me and MilkTea543.

This comic was inspired by the notion that if she were ever to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion, Asa would really get into the weeds regarding the symbolism of the show. Perhaps even going a bit overboard in some respects like believing that Pen Pen was meant to be a “At the Mountains of Madness” reference.

Also, I wanted Denji to monologue at her for a change.

Denji was just down for watching the show for the pretty girls in skintight outfits and giant robots, but starts seeing depressing parallels to his own life (Angel/Devil Fighting aside) the moment Shinji got a belligerent redhead roommate.

It wasn’t until Kaworu (Kaoru?) came in with the meet cute and backstab that Denji glumly realized that whiny, screeching, skinny dweeb Shinji was “just like me. He’s just like me FR.”

Besides being a shoutout to Yoru and one of the themes of Part 2, Denji’s analysis is rooted in both his experiences with Public Safety and the “Ballad of a Soldier” film that he watched with Makima in Part 1, which given what we learn at the end of that arc, ought to have been impossible to see.

A young man who fought battles for a cause he barely cared to understand against enemies that had the potential (however slight) to be befriended.

Funnily enough, for as much as it’s a deconstruction, on paper, Evangelion delivers all the requisite mecha action you’d expect (if not in the quantities some would prefer) in a number of engaging scenarios.

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[deke-rivers-1957]

Kissin Cousins Review

After Viva Las Vegas went over budget, Colonel Parker as the technical advisor pushed the panic button. The next immediate film had its budget slashed and everything was rushed just to make back any money lost. The production was very cheap despite a somewhat ambitious story of having Elvis play 2 characters.

Despite being made after Viva Las Vegas, Kissin Cousins came out first making for a very jarring experience if seen back to back. A lot of people HATE this movie because of the concept and cheap production, indicating that Colonel's plan didn't work as he expected. After all, if you only spend a grand total of a $1 million dollars on a movie, you only need $1,000,001 to make a profit. Does Kissin Cousins have some good parts to it or is it all bad and should never be mentioned again? Let's find out.

Kissin Cousins is a pleasant opening song. It's not something that blows you away but it's a nice little ditty with cute art. It makes me wonder why we never had an animated film as those were usually way cheaper than a regular movie. Yes animation in the 60s wasn't as big of an industry as it is now, but if Colonel wanted to value cheap production, animation would've been the way to go.

We get introduced to the conflict of the movie: The military wants a military base on the Tatums mountain land in the Smokey Mountains. The Tatums don't want to sell as they don't trust the government. As stereotypical as this sounds, this was a pretty common experience. The only issue I have with this element is that they want to show this as the Air Force, but everyone is dressed in Army uniforms. Josh starts off wearing a more accurate uniform but we quickly do away with that. A sign already that no one cared enough to make things accurate.

We also see very quickly that this movie is so cheap they can't even film b-roll footage of the real Appalachian Mountains. Instead we get Southern California mountains and Hollywood sets. As much as it sounds like a nitpick, the mountains are a mega important part of the movie. Depicting the real mountains would add more immersion into the story by showcasing how these people live. Smokey Mountain Boy as a song doesn't stand out on its own. It does sound lovely in the context of the movie. It sounds like the type of song a military man would sing. We get a dumb joke about mountaineers not knowing how to spell and the girls not knowing what Jodie looks like. If you look very closely we get another sign that the movie is cheap in the form of a faint yellow line in the middle of the screen. That's meant to be the filter that allows Elvis to play both Josh and Josh at once. More on that later.

We find out that Jodie actually isn't their brother. He's a cousin too and my whole world just blew up. This whole time I thought they were all siblings because he lived with them like he's their brother. There's Gold in the Mountains is bad. The lip-synching is non-existent. It's very apparent that neither Azalea or Selena's actress are actually singing. They sound nothing like they're speaking voices. I don't think this song was really necessary and could've been cut if it wasn't for a quota. Ma calls Jodie her nephew and man I want to know this man's story. There's so many ways you can go about this and show how this could significantly impact his character and his decisions.

Pappy is an amazing character. Arthur O'Connell really shows his range as he sounds nothing like Pop Kwimper from Follow That Dream. Despite being the same character of the government disdaining patriarch on paper, you really get the idea that this is a completely different person. Pappy and Pop are similar but are not the same. What I don't like is that his clothes are seen as dirty and full of holes. Jodie and the sisters don't have that problem so unless Pappy just got done wrestling some pigs, this is purely for laughing at dirty uncivilized Southerners. While it is unfortunate that some of them lived that way, this isn't the Tatums' situation.

Ma's an amazing character too and it only highlights my point that she wouldn't accept anyone in the family to be walking around in unkempt clothing. She would've immediately patched up any holes she found. You get the idea that she isn't someone to push around. She respects Pappy's authority but she also has her own authority. Ma is willing to flip Jodie right on his butt if he disrespects her despite Jodie easily being bigger than her. In real life, an average sized woman being able to flip over what I consider to be a 200 lb man would be super impressive. We clearly get the idea that Pappy loves it. He wants his wife to be a strong woman who doesn't take disrespect from anyone.

This whole scene insults Southerners by having them own a Confederate Flag in the house, eat possums and other stereotypical "white trash" food like this is a regular occasion. Like it's something they take pride in eating and wouldn't want to eat anything else. Note: people only eat that when there's nothing else available. It would only make sense if they were proud of Ma being able to make do with what little they had but again this isn't what they're going through. They have pigs so it makes no sense why they still eat possums outside of stereotyping.

We get a visual gag of the captain turning green. This is such a cheap special effect. It looks like they just shined a green light over his face like we're in a cartoon. So bizarre and only exists because "haha isn't mountain food so disgusting." Totally unnecessary especially with how long they drag the joke of no one knowing what an ICBM is. In real life, if this family was as ignorant as the movie makes them out to be, they would not survive.

One Boy, Two Little Girls is a very boring ballad. It adds nothing to the movie and is just filler. We already got a song with him singing to the sisters and learn nothing new. You can just cut to Josh talking to Azalea and Selena about how to convince Pappy. This whole interaction between Josh with Azalea and Selena is weird. We're supposed to think he digs both of them.

Catchin On Fast which is just as shallow. The song itself isn't bad, but in the context of the movie it comes out of nowhere. Josh just randomly picks Azalea over Selena. Yes we get the drama that Selena has to get married first, but outside of that there's no reason for him to pick Azalea. Yes it could be a matter of Josh preferring brunettes but it's never established to be the reason why he likes Azalea more. Admittedly I love that Selena isn't jealous of Azalea or mad that Josh picked her sister over her. In a different Elvis movie we know that would've been a conflict that lasted throughout the whole movie.

We get introduced to Midge and Jodie completely looks smitten. This is a completely different side of him. It's implied that he's had relations with more than one Kittyhawk woman but becomes such a different man around Midge. In that moment, none of the other women matter anymore. Midge is the only woman on his mind and you have to wonder what about her captures his attention. Maybe it's because she's not immediately throwing herself at him or seems interested in him at all. Just by this scene alone, Midge does not give a single care that he's staring at her. If anything she straights up ignores him after they're introduced.

Watching Azalea interact with the Kittyhawks when they give them their own bikinis is the only difference we get. Azalea actively stands up to them and puts them in their place. She doesn't tolerate their actions. Ma puts her foot down when she sees that this turned everything upside down and I can understand where she's coming from. If Azalea and Selena are disrespecting her and the Kittyhawks are causing nothing but trouble, of course she would be upset.

The reporter exposes their plan to get the mountain base and the plan is all coming apart when the general contacts the captain about going up to the mountain. The captain orders Midge to go to Ma and try to smooth things over. Despite this being the 60s, the captain treats Midge like any other subordinate. He's not overly harsh or lenient with her just because she's a woman. Now that's gender equality. She runs into Jodie and at first we think Jodie's going to act like a pig and a wolf. And he does act like that, but what makes this movie better than most is that he gets his comeuppance. Yes it's meant to be a source of comedy but given the 60s, Midge being allowed to push back against horny men is incredible. She grins and bears it when it's the other military men because a lot of them may outrank her and pushing back would be horrific. But since Jodie has no authority over her, she pushes back. In other movies Jodie would be a creep who escalates his advancements after every rejection. But he doesn't. He saw the look on Midge's face when she thought he got hurt. She doesn't actually hate him, she just hates how forward and physical he is.

Based on their social situations, you can clearly see how it influences these women's reactions to male attention. Midge is just so used to men seeing her for her body and nothing else that when in a situation where she can push back against that behavior she will do it, while the Kittyhawks hardly ever see men so any attention or interaction with men would be like giving kids candy after denying them that for so long. And whether he fully realizes it or not, Jodie has to acknowledge that Midge really isn't like other girls but her own person. So he changes his approach to serenading Midge with Tender Feeling. Easily the best song in the movie and actually adds depth to Jodie's character. Even though he's a cocky jock, this song actually matters by showing that he's capable of being more than that. It still fails but even when it fails the only thing on Jodie's mind isn't a notch on his bed post it's WEDDING BELLS. He had full choice of any Kittyhawk out there to marry. He could've married any one of them at any time. But he doesn't want to be with any of them. He wants Midge. You can make an argument that as soon as he saw Midge for the first time, he wanted to marry her. Unbelieveable how this side character in a cheap Elvis production actually has some type of character arc.

Meanwhile, Azalea tries to convince Ma about changing her mind. I know the movie wants to make us feel bad about it, but we don't have any reason to feel bad. I don't feel anything for this relationship. Outside of Josh being different than the other mountain men, there's no real reason for her to like him. I care more about Hezekiah missing Pappy and he's a dog.

So they go to find Pappy and all of the men except for the captain and Jodie get captured by the Kittyhawk women. For once an Elvis character doesn't like being appreciated by multiple women. I guess it's meant to show how Josh is more "civilized" than Jodie. We get another Joe Esposito appearance in this movie and he actually gets a line.

Ma actually gets a song lamenting the loss of her husband. Pappy, Won't You Please Come Home is actually a pretty appropriate song. It shows just how much she loves him. The vocals could be better but it doesn't have to be professional because within the context of the movie, Ma isn't a professional singer. Pitch doesn't matter when you're sad.

We find out Pappy got chased by a bear and got stuck in a tree. The wide shot of him being stuck in a tree is so bad. You can tell this is a stunt double since Arthur O'Connell is too old to be doing stuff like this. Even when you can see his face you can tell he's only dangling on a wire and it's not even clear how he's caught. I get we needed something to get Josh on the family's good side but they could've done this a bit better. You would think this would be when Josh and Jodie would have to work together to save Pappy, but I guess that would've just been too hard to film. Again if Jodie had a real character arc this would be the moment when he realizes "hey Josh just isn't doing this because he's told to. He genuinely cares about us. He acts like he's kin."

We get a good old fashioned hoedown and hi where did all these people come from? Up until now we've had the Tatums and the Kittyhawks as the only people who live on this mountain. So why is there a whole village of people here? It completely changes the Kittyhawk women's reason to exist. If you imply that there's literally no other man on this mountain outside of Jodie, then these women being boy crazy make perfect sense. Now that we know Jodie isn't the only young man, they just look like a stereotype that women are promiscuous.

Barefoot Ballad fits so well with Jodie's character but watch out foot phobic people because it's exactly as it says on the tin. The dancing however, isn't that great. It shows just how rushed this movie's production wise. I guess it could work in that in universe these aren't professionals but as a movie it could be better. This is where the song quota kicks in as we get yet another song in the span of not even five minutes. Once Is Enough is fine but it's still filler. The dancing is still bad as one of them actually falls down and it stayed in the final cut. Based on Pappy's little speech I would've thought he would start singing. Heck even the captain who would later play Grandpa Joe showed he could sing in Willy Wonka so it's not like we couldn't have had a Pappy song.

After all this time, Jodie finally gets a character moment where he warms up to Josh. While Jodie internally realizes that Josh was alright when he saved Pappy, this would've been the perfect moment to showcase that he's willing to compliment Josh. If only he had more of a role in the movie because what little we get shows a pretty engaging character arc. Midge coming around would've been a natural reason for him to warm up to city folk. I could make a whole post about how I would write his character since there's so much potential.

The Kittyhawk women actually play an important role by sending the general in circles. That's what makes this movie great. Everyone has a part to play even if they start off as a joke. Pappy gets in a drinking contest with the captain. I have to laugh that Jodie managed to snap Pappy's suspenders when Pappy tries to run away. It actually adds to Jodie's claim that he's the champion and therefore strongest man in the mountains. Ma makes it clear that they have to talk things over so Josh and Pappy try to make a deal over a game of checkers. Jodie actually tries to help Josh out by getting the captain sober. If only they took advantage of them looking alike and had Jodie disguise himself as Josh. Jodie would have to swallow his pride because he knows if this deal fails, he would lose Midge as she's a WAC.

It isn't until Josh comes up with a deal allowing Pappy to continue selling his moonshine without "revenoor" interference. They also get protection and $1000 a month for the land. The deal goes through and everyone ends up happy. The one thing I wish was better explained is how despite all these people being on the mountain, Pappy is somehow the leader. I think if we had so much as a line about how these people came from distant villages would be enough as it's not like the military intended on buying the entire mountain.

Kissin Cousins (Number 2) is a banger of a song and I really like Jodie's twang when he sings but wow the production is cheap. They don't even bother cropping the shot above where you can actually see Lance LeGault (Elvis' body double) in the background. This isn't the first nor only time either. Throughout the movie and during the song when they switch back and forth between Josh and Jodie, we can see his face by accident. Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched had to do something similar when she had to play Samantha and her identical cousin Serena. That episode came out in 1966 and managed to do a better job. A TV show somehow did the same concept better than an actual Hollywood produced film. It's so sad that production was rushed to the point of basic editing mistakes and mistakes in general are left in. Even the ending where the characters hold up "The End" signs feels like this is a cheap high school production instead of a Hollywood movie.

This movie has several problems. As I've said the production is cheap with songs that are nothing but filler and at times have noticeable mistakes, Josh is a very boring character with an uninteresting romance in Azalea, Jodie makes you wonder why they wanted Elvis to play two characters when one of them doesn't even do that much, and they outright insult Southerners by using very cliched stereotypes.

So why do I like this movie in spite of these problems? Because the story has enough good elements that you can actually fix the problems without having to completely change the movie. It's like a Clambake in that I would consider the highlights to be enough to cover the glaring errors in it. If this movie had a different production team or a better budget I would say this story is one of the better ones for an Elvis movie. Therefore I would give this movie a 7/10. This is a movie that best exemplifies how Colonel's interference directly hurt a movie that otherwise would've been great. I highly recommend watching it so you get the perspective of how poorly Hollywood thought of Southerners, yet still have the Tatum family feel like real people.

AN: Shout out to the discord besties for providing commentary about how the Tatum family showcased the bad light Hollywood painted the South in. Especially @grizelda71-blog. Your notes in particular helped me see both the good and the bad in this movie. Also shout out to @smokeymountainboy for your work as Jodie inspiring me to review this movie this month.

Tagging: @arrolyn1114, @thedaisymaisy, @that-hotdog, @peaceloveelvis, @imaginationlast, @fuzzymusic94, @helen06dreamer, @sfull12345, @briefpandatimemachine, @alittlemoreelvis, @lynettethemadscientist, @motht-eeth, @ash-omalley, @spooky-hazex, @teamnefarious, @blighted-star, @ab4eva, @oh-my-front-door, @father-of-2cats, @atleastpleasetelephone, @xanatenshi, @crazymadpassionatelove, @burnthheparaphilia, @aliengoth3 @stormie-ryan23, @yksuwyksud, @tacozebra051, @alienelvisobsession, @vintageoldsoul, @ohmygiddd, @lovininapinkcadillac, @stephthestallion, @mistyspresley, @bisexualwvtson, @ahundredlifetime, @karel-in-wonderland, @elvispresleywife, @georgefairbrother, @moonchild-daniella, @musiclover712, @worldofyns, @sillybookmarks, @g00d2balive, @leighpc, @generoustreemystic, @peskybedtime, @thetaoofzoe, @renegadewarrior, @vintagepresley, @tupelomiss, @myradiaz, @pinkcaddyconfessions, @kiankiwi, @presley72elvis, @delulubutidontcare, @januarypresley1969, @livelaughelvis, @hooked-on-elvis, @slayingjd, @ilivebecauseiamforced, @dusintv, @cattcb, @eapep, @jaqueline19997, @richardslady121, @iloveelvis2, @lett-them-eatt-cake, @if-i-can-dream-of-elvis, and @lookingforrainbows.

[loycspotting]

11. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Serpent's Kiss (1997)

Fun Fact! If you're a fan of the "Long Way" motorcycle series with Ewan and his best friend Charlie Boorman, then you'll be pleased to know that their friendship began on this movie! Charlie has a minor role in the film as a secretary. He and Ewan met while filming and bonded over their love of motorcycles. The rest is history!

Synopsis: "The Serpent's Kiss" is a romance/drama starring Pete Postlethwaite, Greta Scacchi, Carmen Chaplin, Richard E. Grant, and Ewan McGregor. You might remember that Ewan starred alongside Pete Postlethwaite in "Brassed Off" and worked with Greta Scacchi on "Emma". The movie is about the Smithers family. Mr. Smithers wants to give his wife the gift of a garden so hires a top-notch landscaper that his in-law recommends to him. Mrs. Smithers isn't very interested in the garden but prefers games and tricks. Specifically those she can play on people. Their daughter, Ann/Thea, is a peculiar girl. She reads far too much and gets along better with nature than people. While her mother indulges her, her father worries for her health and hires a physician to make her "normal." Once the young landscaper arrives, it becomes evident that he is not just there to build a garden, but to use his expertise to exact revenge for his secret employer.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Meneer Chrome who is a famed Dutch landscaper. He takes a job in England with the goal of transforming the overgrown lawn of the Smithers family into a one of a kind, modern, garden. As he works on the project, he becomes interested in his boss's eccentric daughter while her mother becomes interested in him. Ewan speaks in a Dutch and English accent for this role but mainly Dutch. I'm not familiar with Dutch accents but I'm going to be bold and say that his was terrible 😅. It annoyed the crap out of me! I couldn't take it seriously, it was forced, and completely took me out of the movie every time he opened his mouth. I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more if he didn't have to use that god awful accent. He has a female love interest and two kiss scenes. One is with a man and the other is with a woman . He also does some flirting with his boss's wife. There's an implied sex scene and implied nudity. You do get to briefly see him shirtless though. He wears a wig and you also get to see the worst haircut he has ever had in a movie to date. His performance isn't very good. There were a couple moments where it felt like I was listening to him recite lines from a paper. It didn't seem like he was all in for this project but decided to coast through. This might be a nit-pick but it's not a spoiler: not long after we meet his character he randomly tosses his wig off for no discernable reason and he never puts it back on. Nobody says anything about it. All the men of high class wore wigs in the movie so I assumed for a man to walk around wigless in front of high society would be deemed offensive. Anyway, I don't know what the point of that scene was.

Screentime Percentage (numbers are rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 44/106 minutes making his SP 42%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? No. Although he is in much of the movie, he just doesn't do a lot nor is he interesting. Honestly, the character is boring. I wouldn't turn this on for Ewan. Is the movie worth watching in general? Sadly, it's another no from me. In all fairness, it's so weird that it charmed me a little but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I don't think this movie was made for a general audience.

Warning before Watching: There is a whole incest subplot in the movie. There aren't any sex scenes or anything but the movie makes sure you know they're related so keep that in mind. In a scene where Thea is overcome with emotion she intentionally cuts her face. The scenes of her being "cured" of her "illness" by the physician could also be uncomfy to watch. There's nothing graphic but you do hear her scream in pain and just the general treatment of this character is a little sad. Lastly, you see someone die from poison.

Where to Watch: "The Serpent's Kiss" is available to stream for free on Tubi, Sling TV, Redbox, Amazon Prime Video, and Freevee. It's also currently uploaded for free to YouTube. Just search "The Serpent's Kiss Full action Movie Drama Ewan McGregor".

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Shark Tale

See now this is the part where the word "torture" really becomes accurate because oh my fucking god that's exactly what this hell movie is.

So uh yeah. Shark Tale. It sucks. Do I really need to go on? It's insufferably annoying with ugly ass characters who are incredibly unlikable, with a paper thin plot that beats you over the head with its message right from the very start. But I suppose if I have to break it down....

The movie stars Will Smith Fish I mean Oscar, who's a self-centered clout chaser who wants to become a "somebody" and a cliche misunderstanding succenly launches him into the status of a hero known as the Sharkslayer. This happens after the son of some shark mob boss (yes there's a shark mob shut up I hate it too) dies in an accident, and his other son, Lenny (who's a vegetarian, idk how that's possible, just roll with it) befriends Oscar and the two stage another shark slaying to keep Oscar in the limelight. Inset a stupid ass love triangle with Lola, the blatant gold digger, and Angie, Oscar's best friend who spends the entire movie pathetically simping over this piece of shit, and well... you have the cinematic mess that is Shark Tale.

So the plot sucks, the whole messages of "tell the truth" and "status and wealth aren't everything" are so beaten into you the movie barely gives you a chance to think about them for yourself. But even worse than that plot are the characters. Oscar is just so damn unlikeable man, he's a lying asshole who only really cares about upward mobility and is willing to screw the few people who do care about him over to get it. Angie is just as bad, a bitchy, jealous simp who more or less gaslights Oscar into loving her by the end imo. The other characters are all one-note and lame, but I guess if any of them are mildly amusing, Lenny is the best of the bunch, if only because he's not an utterly miserable tool like everyone else in this movie is.

The music is the typical early 2000s Dreamworks pop nonsense, it wasn't too insufferable given the vibe of the movie, but still, it wasn't anything standout. The animation is... ok, but god these fugly ass character designs. Why oh WHY did they decide to putt Will Smith's face on a fucking FISH? Who looked at this and thought THIS WAS OK????

I will say the backgrounds and environments are genuinely nice to look at though, probably one of the very few redeeming qualities this film has to offer. As for everything else, well, there's a reason this movie lives in infamy as one of the worst things Dreamworks has ever put out. It sinks to scrub the bottom of the barrel (get it? Ok I'll shut up) in just about every way there is. It's riddled with lame puns, unfunny jokes, blatant product placements, and just about every stupid cliche you can think of for a kids movie. Save yourself the trouble and leave this one for the fishes (goddammit now the stupid ass movie has me doing it too).

Overall Rating: 2/10

Verdict: Send these ugly ass fish to the toxic waste dump where they belong

Previous Review (Shrek 2)

Next Review (Madacascar)

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Hear me out: Niffty as Valentino’s scriptwriter. 👀

Idea sparked because of this ao3 writer, Shigariope, and their fanfic series of “Porn Reviewer Husk”.

And I’m like, “Wait. What about a Niffty x Valentino AU where Niffty becomes his scriptwriter?”

(Kinda suggestive below the cut.)

- Niffty sneakily steals tapes from Angel’s room while cleaning, and watched them all when he wasn’t around.

- She thought some were decent, but they were still overall bad. And even she has standards; she can’t find it hot unless both parties love the pain and torture, (she likes being forced, that’s why it’s hot for her) and Angel clearly doesn’t enjoy most the things done to him in the film.

- And she was automatically turned off by the ‘bad boy’ in the video. Since he clearly didn’t have any skill, just really bad acting.

- So, Niffty gets the idea to pull out her highest rated fanfics on “Archive of our Sins”, and races to the studio to look for the ‘naughty moth man’.

- Of course, after waiting for Val to stop screaming like a little girl, on top of the dresser, looking at Niffty like she was a roach on the floor —She presents him the fanfics she wrote. Which he read through, once he realized she wasn’t going to rip another piece of his fluff off (yet).

Valentino: “Can I be honest with you, chiquita? This is actually much better than what that imbecile Travis writes…”

Niffty: *grins creepily in excitement* “So? You’ll take it?”

Valentino: “Sure~! I’ll go call Angel and—“

Niffty: “Oh! Nope. Not Angel.”

Valentino: “Huh? Why not?”

Niffty: “He wouldn’t be into this.”

Valentino: “Why should that matter—EEH!” *drops the papers and puts his hands up in the air*

Niffty: *holding the angelic knife given to her to his neck*

Niffty: “Because, you naughty boy~ Torture is hotter when the one being tortured loves it too! Don’t you think it’s a turn off when something out of role play happens~?”

Valentino: “A-Alright, chiquita. I’ll find someone who’s into this!”

Valentino: *picks the papers up again* “I have a question, though…” *points at a specific paragraph* “I’m quite well cultured in various positions, but how does this work? It just looks like you were tying to reach a word count.”

Niffty: “Ohoho~ That position is very possible! And I can show you if you want? A real bad boy can do it all, and take it all~”

Valentino: “U-Uh….” *scared but kind turned on at the same time.*

Valentino: “I sure hope, Voxxy doesn’t learn about this…”