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#Personal Wolf Jesus
mostlikelyshutup · 12 days
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jeff davis really said, "oh spencer reid is popular? let me put his exact character in this new tv show im creating about teenage werewolves."
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superiorjello · 1 year
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I don't understand all the people in various different fandoms I've seen lately ragging on rarepairs/non-canon pairs because "they don't talk to each other/have no on-screen chemistry" or "you're just putting random people together because they're not dating anyone else"
Folks.
The point of fanfiction is that IT'S NOT CANON, it's you sitting around with your fave action figures and SMASHING THEM TOGETHER
Sometimes that happens to be the most common pairing or something actually canon. But sometimes, that's you taking a square and a circle and putting them together and saying WHAT IF!
Sometimes it's looking at the parts that make up two entirely different people and asking "What would it take for these two to work together?" and the joy of that sort of exploration and discovery is INDESCRIBABLE
FANFIC DOESNT HAVE TO CARE ABOUT CANON
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT *DID* HAPPEN, IT MATTERS WHAT *COULD* HAPPEN
Thank you and have a nice day
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boyhuff · 1 month
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Embarrassing to say I don't have much or any experience with a vibrator but my sir fucked me so good last night and then used their vibrator on my clit while I had his knot inside of me and I have never cum so good in my life 🥴
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killaura · 1 year
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I can’t believe they made this absolutely egregious shot the cover photo for spotify HAVE SOME COUTH. GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE
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omegaremix · 6 months
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April 5, 2018.
A venture into New York City is always a good thing. Give me any reason - a doctor’s appointment, family, or a show in Greenpoint - and I’m there. This time it was a check-up on the pricier Lower East Side. I asked the team to give me an early time because I knew something else was going on behind the clinic. I know because my old man drove me home all the time and took a specific rote to do so.
The chilly 35* temperatures bit like any early April would. The sharp white sun constantly cut across the passing white clouds drifting through the dry blue sky. I stand at the Deer Park platform for a few minutes and anticipate its’ arrival. The iPod Classic (160GB) is still holding up. It’s been my only companion that comes with me for Christ knows how long, ever since it’s not-as-capable brother (30GB) took it’s first ride with me supplying Whitehouse’s Racket, Vincent Gallo’s When, and various Boards Of Canada and Roy Ayers cuts. That was another springtime trip where Cath- and I joined forces at Penn Station to go to the Brooklyn Museum and back home on the Ronkonkoma line for what was one of the most significant days ever lived. I loaded up the 400 or so finds to it of songs I never heard of before, songs then in the auditioning phase for Omega WUSB’s airplay. Train rides on the Deer Park line are usually prime-time to cycle through it all with no distractors around. My other companions? A Sony kit and a tripod.
I board and sit on the outer left aisle facing forward. No window seat this time. Public Image Ltd.’s “Poptones” couldn’t have come at a better time as the Deer Park line slowly rolled down through Farmingdale. None more fitting when those loopy dangling notes of Keith Levene’s Veleno moved perfectly with the slow floating crawl of the car. I’m not even paying attention to the motion blur of the graffiti or the industrial buildings usually experienced when looking out of the window. Another song plays, it’s The Plugz’ “Satisifed And Die”. It was a gift from Holly, a Brooklyn goth girl who followed me here. She’s made me roused and stimulated like no other. We been trading recommendations for a couple months based on our equivalencies of industrial, noise, punk, and other artists. I never heard of Plugz until she told me that “Hammy” from The Pee-Wee Herman Show was in the band.
The music still spun in my ears. Each song that played was saved to the day’s on-the-go playlist. No skips or fast-forwards. Eventually there’ll be seven or ten songs out of thirty that will follow me around forever out from the 400 chosen for April 5th. They kept going, and so was I on the way to Penn Station. Final track to end the ride? “Hold On To Your Genre” from Les Savy Fav, a band I’ve heard about over the years, and maybe a mention from former selector Xtina who used to run The All Ages Show before I took over her timeslot. Holly’s hits kept on parading through.
Penn Station here. I save my energy taking the A/C/E connecting me to the N/Q/R/W line to Lexington Av. and walk up 3rd St. to the clinic. Here I am! I’m directed to go upstairs and angle myself for some x-rays before heading downstairs to see the silver surgeon who saved my life eighteen months ago.
“Wow! What’s that?” excitingly ask Renee, the surgeon’s assistant. She saw my kit and tripod and told her I was going to shoot after our appointment. She was happy to see me. They’ve seen them all come and go during all their years in practice. It was a treat for them to see me have this new energy from when I was either blacked out on the hospital bed or frustrated and itching ready to go. But here I was. That’s the most important thing for all of us, right? Silver took his hand and pressed his tips on my shoulder to feel any changes. Looked over the film and saw no changes. Asked me how I was doing with this British / Irish roll and was pleased to hear that I was doing great. An hour later, I was good to go. Show’s over for now. See you in six months.
I haul my inventory out of the clinic and head towards where my old man would start our path home. It’s the Grand Army Plaza at the southeastern corner of Central Park. Look up and you’ll see the golden monument of William Tecumseh Sherman riding high on a stone pedestal with Victory guiding the way. I take several photos of all their heroic glory. A few horse-and-carriage jockeys were all around me with their furnishings dressed in white, red, and purple with gold trim. I see many overseas families make the best of their time taking photos for mementos forever to be remembered by, not knowing if and when they’ll have another opportunity to return again. But I don’t stop there.
Forward I go into Central Park, because I had all the time in the world to tread into uncharted territory. I walk past the disused zoo and end up at the Balto statue. How cute. I stop and snap away for more test shots before some former aspiring Aron Kay wanna-be rode his bike past me and said something about Balto being a liberal conspiracy, and self-declared it a debacle that was worse that seeing Oprah’s goatse. I walk away from his trailed stench of shit and dried blood and now here I am walking right down the middle of The Mall and Literary Walk. It literally welcomes you in with its pathway, where its generousity is measured by its wideness.
It was at that exact point where I started feeling euphoric again. I’ve beaten cancer to see my final benefits loaded into savings. Three paychecks in March, the tax refund hit, and our company gave us full-timers a surprise $1,000 bonus. Minimal and synthwave finds connected me with some of my best followers here, good times with me and twenty of my other co-workers at my neighborhood arcade, and the record-store victory tour just started. All of my on-going projects at Ω+, VMFX, and WUSB kept me going and proud. My nerves straightened themselves out and for once in my life I was on top of everything. There were no worries, no stress, no pressure. There was only hope. I hit the sweet spot that I been trying to acquire for so long and this was it. I felt like I was the person I always wanted to be. Keep going.
To my right is the Naumburg Bandshell where I did my best to preserve whatever dynamics it presented me with a press of a button. Further I go and I encounter the Besthesda Terrace, a dazzling array that’s been around for almost 175 years. Greeting me is its accompanying fountain where The Angel Of The Waters looks over all of us. A Danish family of four wanted their picture taken together so they asked me kindly to snap them with their camera, which I happily obliged.
It’s 5PM. Joggers and bikers are imminent. Young couples are sitting on the hills admiring the skyscrapers to the south and west side. I let myself get lost as I head north. I reach the Bow Bridge to see a young Filipine couple in their wedding threads have their photos taken. I continue to wander through all the winding pathways and steep hills to find myself at Belvedere Castle which was gated off and closed indefinitely. A few thousand feet later, I stop short at the 86th Street Transverse to catch my breath and pause to experience the current moment of clarity. Robert Viger’s “Limpidite” started to play. The sun’s about to set and it’s getting dimmer. Now was the time to head back.
I didn’t remember the path I took to get here, so what fun I had when I got lost and realized I had to walk the equivalent of thirty city blocks to even reach East 59th Street again which I returned to. I was exhausted and was tempted to take the N/Q/R/W line back to Penn Station, but no. It’s rare for me to be in the city, so why not make the best of it and walk it all back to Grand Central? My time was limitless because I didn’t have to be at work until 1PM the next day. Let’s reverse the process.
I take part in the crowded hustle and bustle of Manhattan. I walk 30 blocks south back to Penn Station for the ride home eastward, still bathing in the new euphoria and pending Spring renewal I just felt. I arrive five minutes to my train, but no big deal. I’m more than happy to re-hydrate with a $2.50 bottle of water and wait around until the Ronkonkoma line arrives. I have another relaxing 65-minute train ride back to Deer Park to cycle through more auditions and selections for the day’s forever soundtrack before it’s gone forever. I arrive on the Deer Park platform and step off the train. I step off the platform and walk through the aluminum overpass and steps onto the parking lot. I get in my car and drive away to sweep up the rest of the way home through the Brentwood streets. 10:30PM and I’m home for the night.
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There’s a message waiting for me after I walked in. It’s Holly. She asked how my day was and what I was up to. It was real nice for one of my all-time favorite followers to even ask. I had to reply to her before heading to bed. I also sent her the day’s photos and then asked to see if we could finally meet up. The momentum was stronger and now more essential than ever. I’m thriving for more.
Ghost Spell: “People On The Street”
This Is Hell: “Anarchy On The Atlantic”
Stars Are Insane, The: Versus
Ramleh: “Soundcheck Changeling 2”
Alan Shearer: “Dark Is The Color”
Public Image Ltd.: “Poptones”
Ghost Spell: “Tzz”
Plugz, The: “Red Eye #9″
Jan Jelinek: “They Their”
Pan Daijing: “Female”
Candy: “Rain In Spetember”
Pierre-Alain Dahan & Slim Pezin: “Slim Bertha”
Pisschrist: “Fatal Control”
Alan Shearer: “Only For One Girl”
James Clarke: “Silent Summer”
Thomas Leer: “Saving Grace”
Paul Dupont & His Orchestra: “Lovelorn”
Boy Harsher: “Modulations”
Zola Jesus: “Bound”
Errorsmith: “Superlative Fatigue”
Pisschrist: “Fuck The World”
Alan Shearer: “Generation V”
Joanna Brouk: “The Space Between”
Grey Hairs: “Emergency Banger”
Hogan’s Heroes: “Drugs”
Plugz, The: “Touch For Cash”
Kap Bambino: “More Machine“
Leon Gardner: “Farm Song”
Les Savy Fav: “Hold On To Your Genre”
Marijuana Deathsquads “All Deep”
Red Apollo: “Knife Party”
Stars Are Insane: “I Stayed Up All Night Thinking Of You” (ver.)
Wolf Alice: “Sad Boy”
76% Uncertain: “Coffee Achievers"
Kedr Livanskiy: “Sunrise Stop”
Haircut: “Shutting Down”
Keiji Haino: “See That My Grave Is Kept Clean”
Cabaret Voltaire: Extended Play EP
Candy: “Bears”
Frumpies, The: “I Just Wanna Puke On The Stereo”
Pan Daijing: “Overdose”
Ajax: “Paper And Steel”
Les Savy Fav: Inches
Robert Viger: “Limpidite”
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stilinskiderek · 2 years
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the one second of the daredevil theme in she hulk has me hooting and hollering
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khaire-traveler · 10 months
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Random Greek Deity Facts
- Artemis has been associated with horses in the past.
- Ares has associations with owls.
- There are ancient gravestones with reliefs on them that historians still cannot tell if the art is of Dionysus or Jesus.
- It is common for historians to struggle identifying if a statue is of Artemis or Apollo because they often look so much alike.
- Hephaestus is a god of fire.
- Maia, the Mother of Hermes, was thought to assist in raising both Dionysus and Hephaestus.
- Hypnos is said to live in a massive cave, sleeping with thousands of his sons.
- Rather than blood, Greek gods are said to have something called Ichor running through their veins; no one is quite sure what "Ichor" actually is.
- Both Apollo and Artemis are deities of light; it is not just Apollo. Along with this, it is believed Leto may also be a goddess of light.
- It is commonly believed that the hyacinth flower is not actually the flower Hyacinthus was infamously transformed into; most sources seem to agree that it was likely either an iris or a larkspur.
- At one point in the Dionysiaca, Dionysus wages a war against India. The goddess Rhea is said to have gathered troops for him, and Zeus was said to have been the one to task Dionysus with going to war in order to allow him to join the gods on Mount Olympus.
- Demeter's chariot is pulled by two giant winged serpents; she has literal dragons pulling her around, and no one is talking about it.
- The Python was a child of Gaia, and before Apollo took up the Oracle in Delphi, there was actually an Oracle with Gaia in that location.
- The twins Castor and Pollux, who made up the Gemini constellation, were commonly worshipped throughout ancient Greece under the title of the "Dioscuri" or "Dioskouroi".
- Also regarding the Dioskouroi, the name "Castor" ("Kastor") may translate to "Beaver".
- The famous epithet "Paean" of Apollo was also listed on an ancient Mycenaean tablet that listed the names of separate deities. It is, therefore, possible that Paean was once a separate god who later became associated/merged with both Apollo and his son Ascelpius.
- Besides being an epithet, a Paean was also a type of devotional chant/song that was sung in honor of Apollo. Some ancient sources claim that the event of singing a Paean could actually be quite loud, involving clouds of stomping/banging and movement.
- The masculine version of Hekate's name, "Hekatos", was an epithet for the god Apollo; both names can be translated to "worker from afar".
- The first record of the more "traditional" view of a werewolf comes from the Greek myth about King Lycaon, when Zeus transformed into a wolf for ten years as punishment for tricking the gods into consuming human flesh (yes, you read that right).
- In the myths, Zeus and Hermes have a lovely Father-Son bonding trip of destroying an entire village (except for one home) for not showing either of the disguised gods hospitality as poor travellers.
- Both Apollo and Zeus were seen as gods who purified "blood-guilt" - a condition which was caused by the killing of another person and required immense purification.
- Cerberus is described as a fully sentient being who can communicate as other immensely powerful children of Gaia could, meaning he is akin to the gods in terms of intelligence rather than being like an overgrown dog.
- Hermes is said to be the inventor of offerings, specifically animal sacrifices.
- One origin of the Pegasus was Poseidon and Medusa doing the devil's tango.
- There is a tale that claims Hermes to be the one who granted Aesop his knowledge of fables.
- According to some ancient sources, Cerberus has as many as fifty heads, a mane of snakes, the claws of a lion, and a snake tail.
- Iris was not only the goddess of rainbows but was also the personal messenger of Hera and was prominently featured in The Iliad delivering many messages on behalf of the Olympian gods.
- Eros has been depicted as the child of Aphrodite and Ares, the child of Ouranos and Aphrodite, the child of solely Aphrodite, the child of Poros and Penia, the child of Ouranos and Gaia, the child of Zephyrus and Iris, and a primordial being who simply came into being. So, where did Eros actually come from? Your guess is as good as any.
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That's all for now! Let me know if y'all enjoyed these and would like more. 🧡
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|| Sources ||
- Theoi.com (of course)
- The Iliad by Homer
- Theogony by Hesiod
- The Dionysiaca by Nonnus
- Information from various museum trips in Athens and Delphi, Greece (sorry, I don't remember the exact sources 💀)
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bvnnywrites · 1 year
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Still Waters Run Deep
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Chapter 1: Apple of His Eye
PAIRING: Eldritch!König x Reader
AUTHOR'S NOTE: As I've said before, English isn't my first language, so this would e fun. Hehe. I'm so excited to share this fic with you guys hehehehe. I'm posting this on both Tumblr and Ao3. Who knows, the story on the other site would be different hm...? I'm not telling when, but hehe. Also, reader is in her twenties, specifically 22, so yayeet. If you don't like how fucked up this story is gonna get then please turn around and go on your merry way. I'll be posting the first chapter here on Tumblr because jesus, my ao3 invitation has yet to arrive. Also, don't forget to write comments, I need feedback because I eat them like it's groceries-
WARNING: NON-CON/DUB-CON, DARK, SMUT, NSFW, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Fingering, Stomach Bulge, Age Gap, Unprotected Sex, Cockwarming, Implied Discharge, Power Imbalance, Abuse of Authority, No Beta Reader, Dom! König, Size Kink, Size Difference, Cannibalism, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Older!König, Eldritch!König, Monster!König, Masturbation, Dark Romance, Blood and Gore, Violence, Monsterfucking
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WHENEVER A CERTAIN COLONEL PASSES BY the soldiers would grow quiet, as if he’s sucking the joy with him and then the chatter would continue once his thundering footsteps would fade away into quietness.
A silence would hang over the air for a brief moment – like they’re making sure the danger has passed before proceeding – and the soldiers would continue to chat once they're sure it was safe to proceed. Babbling away but their voices would be a bit hushed, as if their ears were on the lookout for the colonel’s presence.
The colonel was absolutely – you remember his name being König because you saw him score several shots using a sniper rifle in training – wholeheartedfuckingly terrifying.
König strides confidently across the battlefield and KorTac base of Operations in the same damn manner—Arrogant, egotistical, prideful. The mountain of a man walks in like he owns the place, and troops would be so relieved if they see him in the battlefield because they know that he'd be able to turn the tides to their favor.
And the fucker knows it. He knows people look up at him. Looking at him like the fucking messiah that would save them right then and there.
He relished in it.
And he was so fucking gigantic as he is muscular too, to the point his huge hands could definitely crush your head with his fingers if he saw fit. To say he was a Greek God was insulting. No, he was like Kronos.
Destructive.
All-devouring force.
Whenever you stood too close to him—even tho you recall not stepping too close to the colonel because you wanted to respect the five-foot rule for everyone lest they give you the go signal to hog their personal space like Izzy does—you can see the way his muscles would bulge whenever he tightened his fists, or how the veins on his arms were so… alluring, and holy shit he has scars. Battle scars that should've repulsed you but you find yourself wanting to trace it with your fingers.
His form is almost mesmerizing—like how you'd imagine Fenrir slaying Odin from one of the Norse Myths.
However, like Fenris Wolf, he too was bound and shackled to base. Most of the time, at least. You would see him buried and drowning and several paperwork when you go to his office while Roze waited for you by the door.
And you could see his baby blue eyes squint and conjure a glint of annoyance as you hand him your report. He has pretty eyes, that colonel. He doesn’t speak to you, always uttering grunts or huffs. Dismissing you with a wave of his hand—always gestures but never talking.
It reminds you of gray skies and blue muted waters, and sometimes they seemed vibrant when you hear the sinister glee in his voice of bashing an enemies head open like how watermelon breaks – and then he'd look at you and you'd immediately avert your gaze because oh god that would be so fucking awkward if your superior had caught you staring at his eyes like a creep.
As mentioned before, König is mostly quiet, and you didn't really hear him talk since he never talked to you at all. In the battlefield, when he barked out orders, gunfire would drown them and those closest to him would relay the message on to the others.
Lieutenant Izzy – Izanami actually, but she preferred being called Izzy – always spoke in Japanese, but she can speak a few broken English words. She didn’t seem to see you as a liability, often asking you out to grab lunch with her and Captain Roze. The white-haired girl always made sure you never missed your meals, and if you did, she’d make sure to hand you some MREs for the sake of making sure you’re taken care of.
She said to you once, “Be careful of that colonel, he is… what is English word that for… word you use when object is not good to you—harms life.”
“You mean dangerous?” Roze would correct her. “We really need to work on your English, girl.”
“Yes, that the word I’m looking for.” Izzy would laugh. “ローズ先輩、訂正してくれてありがとう。”
Roze, on the other hand, was more closed off. She was ruthless and strict, but you’re convinced that she cares about you the same way Izzy does because she gets this soft glint in her eyes when you tell her that you forgot to eat or missed lunch. Then five seconds later you’d feel an MRE smacking you on the chest, and Roze is barking at you for being stupid enough to not eat and say you’re lucky that her and Izzy are looking out for you.
But you can tell that both are highly protective of you, like older sisters making sure their youngest sibling didn't fuck up on missions or get hung by their rib by enemy soldiers.
Whenever the colonel passed by, you remember Roze’s words “Keep your gaze down” because apparently there was an incident where König had beaten the shit out of a recruit because the poor thing looked at him funny. Something about the recruit scrunching his face in disgust at the colonel or was it because he had mocked him behind his back? 
Either way, the kid was beaten to a pulp. 
The colonel was never given a court martial, however, since he had been able to pull rank it seems. Roze was the one who told you during lunch, voice in a hushed whisper.
Then your thoughts wander back to the nightly horror stories your soldiers would tell to one another. You had a habit of visiting them before making sure they all slept on curfew time. It was fun and it helped boost morale amongst the troops. It also helped that you were a younger lieutenant, so you were able to easily connect to your platoons’ humor and quip remarks. 
You remember the hushed whispers in the barracks, each of them uttering stories of what König might look like beneath the mask.
You often thought maybe he looks so mutilated that it resembles Nemesis from Resident Evil or maybe Salvatore on the Village Version. But you've seen the pretty blue eyes König possessed and you just know that deep down, he was a handsome man. 
Sure, he was old enough to be your dad, had a huge ass age gap that's wider than the forehead of the colonel of the Mexican Special Forces you had previously worked with due to König being forty-five years old, but you'll admit a pretty man if you see one.
However, your soldiers' claims were way more hilarious as they spoke. Each sounding absurd and stupid than the last.
"I heard he has three faces, like the demon Asmodeus. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he's a prince of Hell in disguise. Have you seen his body? What I'd give to climb him like a tree." 
"I could've sworn I saw worms underneath. Kind of like maybe a maggot-infested lower jaw since I heard the skin of his jaw had been burnt off."
"I think he has the face only a mother could love. Men like that exist."
You had grown up in a small town, people believing heavily in superstitious beliefs. However, once you've left said small town, you realize that they were silly things that old people simply uttered into the wind.
"Did you know a psychic said I would get murdered when I was ten?" You laughed at the absurdity of it all, wanting to add some scary shit of your own.
"Really, L.T?" One of your soldiers said. "Oh, this has to be good!"
“Yeah. I remember she was very old, and if I were correct, I think she moved from Hallstatt? Wherever the fuck that is.”
You told them the stupid little story. How you lost twenty dollars to a fraud only for them to say you'll get murdered, and how it spooked you as a kid and made you all paranoid only to realize you just got scammed out of your money.
"The thing that will kill you is hiding its face. The thing that will kill you has its crown scraping the ceiling. The thing that will kill you has sharpened teeth. The thing that will kill you will charm you with its glamor and false promises. The thing that will kill you will devour you with its appendages and fill you with its seed. The thing that will kill you… you won't see it coming."
The soldiers all laughed, including you, after you've said it in the most croaked voice as you mimicked the old psychic. 
You've never laughed so hard in your whole life, but you were glad that it was your troops that were with you and not stuck up stoic alpha male soldiers. It wasn't real, but it didn't hurt to be cautious. 
All of you got along. 
Sure, most of the soldiers given to you were teens – because the military was just hiring eager and stupid kids, and by God you were going to protect these little shits with your life – but it was fine because they had you. For as long as you live, you promised yourself you'd make sure they were all safe.
And you took them under your wing and you feel bad because they were kids compared to you. They shouldn't be here dressing up as soldiers and being sent off to war zones with you. These kids were supposed to be at home, where they could be safe, and worrying about teen stuff. But then again, KorTac was a company at the end of the day. 
A Private Military Company—basically just glorified mercenaries at this point.
Of course, they would exploit anyone who is willing to serve for their country while also getting paid generously compared to being in a government affiliated military—Hell, you're here, aren't you? Why? Because they can be greedy fucks and capitalism exists, and KorTac rivals Disney in terms of being a well-known PMC in the military world, and you're broke. 
Not to mention that the BAS – Basic Allowance for Subsistence – was fucking higher in KorTac than the government affiliated military you used to serve in. A BAS rate of seven hundred sixty-two point sixty-nine euros for enlisted members, while officers are given the same but with an increased rate of four hundred ninety-seven point fifty- eight euros is better than the current BAS.
You also get the average of six thousand and seven hundred eighty-two euros at an average per month here in KorTac. The pay is way fucking better and you can save up money to the point you were able to pay off your own student and credit card debts and leave your parents' nest since you were basically loaded at this point. 
Money was enough to blind you from the dangers that lurked beneath the still waters that run deep that is KorTac.
"The thing that will kill you… you won't see it coming."
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“Did you hear what happened?”
“What?”
“Another soldier went missing again.”
Captain Stiletto changed her mags, examining her scope as she spoke to you with a calm voice—as if she hadn’t just dropped the news of someone going missing. Again. You were ready to hear which recruit was unlucky enough to be whisked away and never to be seen again. That or they turn up mutilated and scared, and the poor things won’t even talk. However, a missing rookie suddenly turns up out of nowhere after months of disappearing without a trace was statistically low.
No, really, it would be low—unusual at best.
The best way to analyze it would be using the Bayesian Inference, and using a probability model to express the uncertainty towards the situation. In this case, using a binary variable would be ideal, $Y$, to represent the outcome whether the missing rookie ever did turn up or not. $Y$ = 1 if the rookie is found, and $Y$ = 0 if the rookie isn’t found.
Then assume that the probability of finding said missing rookie is equal to the proportion of all missing persons who are eventually found. As evidence becomes available, then update the model with that evidence and compute the posterior distribution for the probability of finding the rookie.
In this case, if one of the higher ups discovered the rookie all pale and shaking and are obviously had been terrified to fucking death, the information in that scenario could be used to update the posterior distribution, taking into account that the probability that the rookie had seen something scary in that location, if they were ever found that is.
Once the model with all available evidence has been updated, the posterior distribution to make predictions of the probability of finding the new recruit can now be used. The officers tasked with finding them—at least those who hasn’t given up—will be able to find them within a certain time frame or calculate the probability that they’re are found alive or dead.
Just some basic statistics you’ve learned in ninth grade, that’s all. Or at least from what you can remember.
The scar that ran down the captain’s face was evident like the blood smeared in your hands when you’ve killed an enemy. No one knew why there was a huge damage to her face or why it was there in the first place. You’ve only been in KorTac for a month, almost everyone you’ve met have given you warnings and it was all the same—keep your distance from the colonel. You have half a mind to say “Fuck this” but the pay was good.
Not to mention your contract hasn’t been finished yet and you doubt you’d find a good paying job like this while doing what you love.
“Who was it?” You dared to ask.
Stiletto looks away for a moment, before turning back to you. “Private O’Neil.”
Your eyes widened at the information. You don’t know the person, but to hear a private going missing was surprising. Usually, it was the recruits who disappeared for the most part or at least from your observation in your stay here. Now that’s very strange.
“Huh… a Private? How come it wasn’t a rookie?”
“That’s what I’m thinking too.”
Stiletto responds with the same confusion as you, her lips pursed. She looks worried, unsure to react.
“The colonel had been tasked to investigate the missing cases, but even he isn’t getting any answers.” The captain says, her face troubled. “It’s like there’s a serial killer at base.”
“Like playing Mafia, huh.” You joked.
“Exactly.”
You’re scared of what this could mean. If whoever it was plucking the recruits off like grapes were about to turn to privates, then it won’t be long before your ass is on the line. You have half a mind to help, maybe offer your insights on the investigations, but thanks to Roze and Izzy’s advice, you knew better than to get too close to the colonel…
Unless you want to get beaten by König with your incompetency—what he deems incompetency—since he loves doing things his way according to the soldiers who had worked with him.
It wasn’t enough to scare the rookies, however. They’re still chatty and happy, all of them seemed unaffected by these rumours.
Of course, they’d be unaffected, everyone is telling them that it’s just rumours and the soldier that disappeared had simply been discharged for wanting to leave or go back home. There were a few who didn’t believe it, but those with higher ranks – including you – were reassuring them that it was merely rumours.
That they shouldn’t really worry their pretty little minds about it. And what infuriated you the most was because it worked. They were gullible kids, as young as sixteen to nineteen—basically a six to three years old age gap between you and them. They should know better than to believe the honeyed words from yours or their superiors’ mouth.
But could you even blame them?
They’re just kids. You and the other high-ranking officers were older than them, obviously they would trust you. They expect all of you to guide them, showing them the real ropes of war and violence unlike the trial sessions they’ve had in boot camp and the infantry.
So, really the blame was on every high ranking official—including you.
Everyone from being a specialist to the general of the army were losing their shit over these incidents because KorTac was supposed to promote opportunity and valour, but how can you do that if your fellow soldiers – doesn’t matter what rank they are – are going missing like some monster was plucking them off of their rooms one by one or rather off of the hallways when they’re past curfew.
Curfew falls under your responsibility too, sergeants up to lieutenant colonels were tasked to make sure that every rookie or corporal has to be following the curfew or rather their curfew. KorTac had implemented the curfew for the rookies up to the corporals’ weeks prior to your official employment according to Roze.
The last thing the people who called the shots wanted was a widespread panic amongst their troops.
“Do you have any hunch as to who it might be?” You asked her curiously, wanting to know the captain’s thoughts.
“It could be that newbie before you, Phillip Graves, but he’s mostly out on missions. So, that checks him out.” Stiletto answered, looking at you. “Then there could be the possibility of it being Horangi.”
“Why him?”
“He’s too violent.”
“Aren’t we all?”
Stiletto laughs at your response, shaking her head as if you’re being silly. The captain was nice, in your opinion at least. She pats you back lightly like an aunt would when you remind her of your mom when they were younger. There’s a twinkle in her eyes, one where it makes you wonder just how exactly does Stiletto see you—a daughter, sister or maybe a friend. Either way, you were in her good graces and that’s enough to quell your curiosities for now.
The two of you were practicing alone in the firing range. Those at the lower ranks had gone to sleep or were forced to sleep since it was curfew for them.
The atmosphere had gone heavy.
It was light and cheery in the morning, but at night, the happiness and laxness of the vicinity disappears, and you and the rest of the soldiers with a higher rank are faced with the reality that someone was picking off all of you one by one like candies inside your granny’s bowl of strawberry candy that you don’t see anywhere in the grocery store.
You know, the one’s you get when one day you became a grandma – or great-aunt, or even an honorary old “auntie” – and these things just magically appear at the bottom of your purse. The ones that once they start spilling out of your bag, you’ll find an intricate cut-glass bowl or dish in the middle of your living room and your grandkids or kids would just come and go while pocketing a handful of them, and the refill is somehow always in your purse.
Stiletto hands you a rosary from her pocket. You looked at the long wooden beads coated with silver chains and designs before glancing at the captain. You took it gently, letting the coolness of the holy object cool your skin that wraps around it. Oh, it’s a sweet gesture. Now you have something to wear around your neck, a little good luck charm despite the fact that you don’t really believe in God or a higher being. Her head is tilted to the side, looking at you with an analysing glance as silence befalls the two of you.
“Why…?” You asked her underneath the fluorescent lights of the firing range, riffles forgotten at each other’s side.
Stiletto shrugs, sighing tiredly, “Maybe the thing that’s picking us off one by one would be scared of the Lord.”
“I doubt he exists.”
“He’ll save you in your time of need. He answered my prayers. Maybe He’ll answer yours too.”
“What did you pray for?”
Stiletto is quiet for a moment, looking away before looking back at you with worry. She placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze.
“That you would still be alive the next time I see you… that you wouldn’t be next, lieutenant.”
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“You’re the lieutenant that Horangi had referred to the company, ja?”
A voice says with a German accent to it, and by Mary, Joseph, and the Babeh Jesus what an alluring voice he has. It was low and rough, a tad bit raspy—gravelly. You thought to yourself that if you were Persephone and you heard this voice coaxing you into the warm embrace of the Underworld, you too would have cartwheeled and backflipped into Hades’s lap. Leaving the nymphs and the flowers, and the warm sun to drown in the enticing embrace of the God of Death while he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.
You turned around, half a mind to fuck the brains out of this man until you saw who was speaking to you and all horniness came to a halt as you realized who it was.
König.
You glanced directly at his eyes briefly before averting you gaze, Roze’s warning echoing in your head. You nod your head, confirming his question. You tell him your name and rank, which country you came from, and basically any general information you can tell to confirm your identity. Konig nods his head at your words. His eyes crinkled—was he smiling underneath the sniper hood?—and you can hear a smug tone on his voice.
“Ja, leutnantin, I’ve read your files.”
“Oh.”
Your eyes glanced to the side, seeing some soldiers chattering at the end of the hall. Good. There are people around. A polite smile blossoms on your face, offering it to the colonel – just like you would whenever you bump into a senior officer. Your mind raced why he was suddenly talking to you.
HE BARELY RESPONDED SO WHY WAS HE SUDDENLT BEING A CHATTER BOX?! You internally panicked since he often responded in hums or grunts whenever you give your report, didn’t even glance at you whenever the two of you passed by each other.
So, why now?
“Did you need something, sir?” You asked him politely, tilting your head a little as you crane your head to look at him properly because holy shit, he’s so fucking tall.
“I do, actually, Schatz.” König responds, cold eyes gazing down at your smaller form. “I need your help with a… serious matter. Come with me to my office.”
His strides are big and long as you struggled to keep up with him as he walked down the halls. Your eyes glued to his massive thighs… and oh. The soldiers within the halls part like the sea as König passed by as if he was Noah. They all lower their gaze, chattering going to a halt until only the sound of the storm raging outside can be heard.
“So, why do we need to go to your office?”
But König doesn’t answer, and his hands balled to a fist. You can see the cloth crinkle as his grip dug into his palms, while he ignores your question. Which is, in a way, rude since you were simply trying to gouge out information as to why your colonel was summoning you to his office. You furrowed your brows at his actions.
“It’s the least I should know, don’t you think–”
“Are you always so noisy?”
You blinked owlishly at his words, the colonel barely looking or glancing at you as he continued to walk down the halls of KorTac. Your breath hitches in your throat as you register the slight annoyance in his voice.
He finally looks at you, eyes crinkling as he laughs. And oh god, his laugh. The mere sound of it makes your cheek warm and make both of your lips smile.
“The look on your face earlier is funny, Schatz. However, you’re a lieutenant, no? I’m sure that despite how young you are, you’re mature enough to know that there are classified things that can only be discussed within the confines of an office, ja?”
“I’m sorry, colonel. I didn’t mean to let it slip off of my head.”
You feel like winning the lottery, but the prize isn’t a billion bucks—it’s the fact that you haven’t angered the colonel, and he’s not bashing your head to the pavement or maybe stabbing you where you stand and tearing your flesh with his gloved hands.
You don’t notice the guilt that settles on your face… nor the look of softness and endearment on König’s face as he admires the look of culpability blossoms on you face.
The softness of your face, the way your eyes are filled with such an adorable shyness when you think that he would actually reprimand you for something so innocent. You were so little compared to him too, so fragile… so weak. He relishes in this power over you—power over your reactions and your expressions. You looked so eager to stay on his good side. So eager to please him in your own innocent way. Whether you intentionally do it or not, König is being pumped full of dopamine at just you talking to him.
He's had his eye on you for a long while. The moment you stepped foot on base, beneath the scorching sun of the tarmac, König wanted nothing more than to snatch you and make you his. Drag you away from KorTac, smuggle you to Austria and lock you away in his house by the sea shore, away from prying eyes.
Where he can have you all to himself.
But even his rank and reputation in KorTac couldn’t save or excuse his behaviour if he does that. Everyone would think he was a freak or someone creepy if he were to ever just scoop you up. The way your voice echoes when you bark out your orders to those inferior to you, the way it softens when you talk to your friends – especially to Horangi, and König s gnawing at the cages of his enclosure because he wished you would talk to him the way you would to Horangi.
He wants to talk again without addressing you formally, but he is awkward with connecting to people. Even when he tried to follow his psychiatrist’s advice in trying to open up to people, König still has a hard time trying to initiate a conversation. The words piling up in his throat—stuck there for the rest of eternity.
 König doesn’t know what to do with his hands, resisting the strong urge to grab yours—so tiny and adorable­—and let his giant hand envelope it. You are pouting, gaze averted to the ground, cheek rosy from embarrassment, probably reprimanding yourself that you should’ve known better.
König isn’t sure if he wants you to be scared of him or not – and he hates that you are the first one to be an exception to his desires, because he wanted everyone to fear him. There is something dark, disgustingly predatory almost, in his thoughts as he watched you beat yourself up, but he doesn’t speak, and his fists are balled up because your voice and adorable face were too fucking much and he doesn’t even know how to talk to a girl in his adult years.
“C-colonel, we’re here.”
You hate that you stutter, but you can’t help it since your heart skipped a beat when you looked up and saw König looking at you with such softness and tenderness from his gigantic height. You had to take a deep breath, shaking your head at the delusion it’s not a delusion, you aren’t seeing things runnin in your head.
No.
That was wrong. That idea in itself would be wrong. The colonel was someone wise despite his violent tendencies. He would never entertain the idea of being with a fellow soldier. Not to mention bend the rules just to risk his position and rank. It would be stupid for him. It wouldn’t be worth it for him, and you just fucking know it.
“Ah… right. Bitte, wait a minute.”
You can see how miniscule the keys are to his hand, his form bending down a little and when he stood back up, he was at least three inches taller than the fucking doorway. He turns the lights on and gestures for you to step in. He closed the door behind you as you took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his gigantic desk.
The desk looked proportionate to his form, and the office chair he has accommodates him greatly and it makes your heart flutter because he looks like a king and all he had to do was give out his decree, and you would be scrambling to do said decree to please him because holy shit something about how big he is, is making your insides churn deliciously–
Wait. Bitch, you better stop. Your thoughts screeched to halt, smacking yourself internally because you’re sure you’re not yet in your ovulation week because you just finished your period four days prior… No, that’s not true, you lost track of your cycle due to the recent events that happened at base. The colonel was twiceyour size, and you’re not sure if you can take him.
Not in a fight, of course.
“So, about the recent events happening here at base, I’m sure you’re well aware of it by now.” König starts, leaning at the desk. “Soldiers are disappearing left and right, the younger ones wouldn’t take long before they stop buying our lies, and we need a way to stop whoever it is that is picking is off and making us drop like flies.”
He stopped, eyes roaming as if he’s analysing you.
“Hase, you are quite the prodigy that at such a young age you’ve managed to achieve the rank of lieutenant, and I am completely impressed.” König says, nodding to himself as if he’s proud of you. “Someone of your calibre would be of valuable help to catch the culprit or, rather, the creature that’s currently on the loose in base and hunting us one by one.”
“Creature? Don’t you mean person?”
“I’d like you to look at these and tell me that a human was behind these incidents.”
König slides you a dossier and you merely throw a confused glance at him before opening said dossier, and you almost–No. You do regret opening the fucking folder.
The entrails of the victims are chewed off and sprawled across the floor, the ground was a sea of blood. Some of them had missing parts, but mostly the torso was empty, intestines being the only thing left behind from the inside of the corpses, and there were a few where the eyes hangs out of its socket and runs down their faces like a veiny egg yolk. You want to look away, but you can’t. Some pictures showed the skins have been peeled off, most had been cleanly peeled off. Even the nipples were intact. Never to this day have you seen anything so horrible.
Finally, the urge to puke tore your attention away from the files, smacking it to the table as you swivelled your head away, and your mouth unhinged as the familiar disgusting liquid of your insides went past your throat. Before any of it could spill past your lips, a bucket had been shoved to catch it. König holds the bucket to your mouth. Meanwhile, you did nothing but vomit. Over and over again. Long after it seemed there was nothing more to bring up, you continued to vomit.
At last, after a good solid minute, you stopped. Tears prickled your face as puke-mixed snot went down your throat. König was kind enough to offer you tissues to help clean yourself up before he hands you a glass of water, and getting rid of your vomit.
“I’m sorry.” You weakly said. “That caught me off guard and I–” The words cut off in your thought as you shuddered as the pictures seared into your head. Well, guess this is my thirteenth reason.
“It’s fine, Schatz. Nothing to be sorry about. It is rare for someone to stomach such evidence.” He reassures you.
His giant hand rubs soothing circles on your back and it’s so comforting that you eventually calm down and catch your breath. The taste of bile still lingers and you downed glass after glass of water just to get rid of it but seemingly failing to do so. Yet it is nothing compared to the electrifying touch of König’s fingers that glide behind your back, passing by the wing ang hooks of your bra. Of course, he didn’t mean to do that he most definitely did intendes to do that because he was just trying to ease you out of your sickened state.
“I’m sorry.” You say again.
The pout on your lips was making you adorable and König was glad he was the way that he was right now. Had he been the same age as you, he wouldn’t have been able to hold back. He would’ve pushed you down on his desk, giant hands spreading your legs, tearing your clothes, while he makes you beg for his cock–
“As I’ve said before, Schatz. It’s fine. We have to recompose ourselves from time to time. After all, we’re only human, no?”
You look up at him from where you seat, smiling softly at him. He was so nice. Your eyes flickered to his neck, and then on to his fingers. Seeing the lack of wedding band on him had you feeling butterflies. Was he not married? Who wouldn’t want to marry him? Was he ugly?
His baby blue eyes—like a mixture of storm grey skies and the heartless depths of the ocean—were a soft hint to the fact that he was handsome. You just know. Unconsciously licking your lips, your eyes scanned him over – in the most shameless manner, but that was fine. You can always chuck it up to you just analysing him.
“Now, Schatz.” His fingers wrapped around you chin, coaxing you gently to look up at him. “Lieutenant colonel Allard, Captain O’Neil, and I will be conducting a manhunt starting at 00:00 up until to 04:30 this Friday. Allard would be taking the North side of the base, I’ll be taking the South, and O’Neil would be taking the West area–”
You paid attention to every word he said, nodding your head every now and then. You kept your eyes locked to his, unaware of the growing tent inches away from your face in your colonel’s pants.
“–which is why I called you to my office.” His voice rips you out of your trance. “I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to lend out a hand in catching whatever it was that’s picking us off one by one?”
“Yes, sir.”
The way you responded with such speed had you internally clutching your pearls. You were so confused as to why you had agreed so easily without even asking for the details. Hopefully, your colonel would be kind enough to graciously brief you and the team before he sends you all out to play limbo with this culprit.
König smiles at your eagerness to help the team—to help him. The younger ones weren’t so eager like you; often having to be bribed with a reward just to help. But you? You said yes without any hesitation.
“Are you married, Schatz?”
“No, sir.”
“How come? Most female or male soldiers your age are married. Why aren’t you?”
“Why aren’t you?”
Your body tensed as your mind caught up with that loose mouth of yours, but before you could even stop yourself the words had already been uttered into the world.  Holding your tongue and making you blurt this in front of your superior needs to be fired. Like, bro, pick a different sim to fuck up. Please. You might’ve had the chance to be in his good graces, being offered promotion after promotion because König did say he’s read your files – he’s awfully touchy too, but maybe that’s because he’s comfortable around you. You might’ve had a chance of walking out the office, alive and healthy with nothing but a nod of a head and telling you to be prepared for the operation this upcoming Friday – but now you’ve said those words with such casualness that it doesn’t really suit the dynamic between you two, and could promptly land you to some punishments. You could–
The colonel chuckles, eyes closed as his shoulder’s shook, and the sound of it makes your cheeks flare with warmth.
“What gave it away, Schatz?”
Your body relaxed, seeing he wasn’t offended or irritated by your response.
“It’s uh… um, the lack of wedding ring, sir.”
“Oh? What an observant klein leutnantin.”
He looks at you, contemplating for a moment before König spoke.
“I have trouble finding a… suitable mate, if you will. Mutter often tells me that I’m a carbon copy of my father, which could explain why she’s so distant and hostile towards me. I don’t… I don’t know or saw the need to find a partner until… until recently.”
His gaze lands on you as he said the last two words. You furrowed your brows, wondering who or what could’ve changed his mind. With a tilt of your head to the side, you asked him a question that stems from his words.
“How come your mother hated you just because you looked like your father? You can’t exactly control your looks.”
“Because he was a monster who had forced himself on her, and forced her to carry his child – which would be me.”
Your eyes widened at that. You didn’t exactly expect the colonel to say it so casually, as if it’s a fun fact you’re telling to a kindergarten. You pursed your lips, looking away, feeling awkward and bad now that you had brought up the topic.
“I’m sorry… I… I didn’t… know.” Was all you can muster.
“You seem to not know anything at all, Schatz.” He cooed at you. “It’s alright. You needn’t be sorry. How I was born is something I cannot control, but the outcome of who I can be is.”
König chuckles, walking over to pat your head affectionately and holy shit it has your heart racing.
“Growing up, the children my age shunned me. They had thrown rocks at me, calling me a monster. My mother did nothing to comfort me, dismissing me and shoving a sack to cover my face. I spent most times outside the house, often sleeping on caves by the waters or at the sand by the shore. The lake is something comforting, I must say… I miss it – yearn for it, if you will."
“Lake? Don’t you mean ocean?”
“My hometown was in Hallstatt Lake, Austria.”
His words ring a bell. You could’ve sworn you’ve heard of Hallstatt Lake before. You tried to remember where you heard it, but couldn’t. Oh, well. If I can’t remember it, then it ain’t that important.
 My father travelled from the ocean and dwelled by the lakes of that area. Then he saw mein mutter and... you know how that story went. Anyways, I have learned that I am… hideous. Therefore, that is one of the contributes as to why I am still, in your kind’s terms, single.”
“So you’ve never had partners before? Not even… I dunno… doing the devil’s tango? Sex?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “No, Schatz. They back out the last minute.”
You looked at him pitifully. He was a lonely man, wanting to have someone beside him and yet his self-esteem was so low. Maybe fucking him could boost his self-esteem. It’s not like I’m craving him, I’m simply helping. Maybe I could be the first to teach him the intimate touch of a woman. The comforts of the flesh. There was something about damaged men that are just so fucking hot. After all, it’s just a twenty-three years old age gap between König and I – Woah, what?! Pause. Your thoughts screeched to a halt, pinching yourself for letting it wander off that far.
How did it get to this?
How did the two of you get so comfortable to the point he’s literally just trauma dumping on you, and you’re lending an ear to listen. You should be walking out f the door, telling him this was unprofessional but you find yourself glued to the chair, heart going out to König as you empathize with him.
“I may not know what you look like under the mask, but mom did tell me that you can see if a person has a handsome or beautiful face is by looking at the shape of their eyes.”
“Oh? And what have you deduced from just observing my eyes, Schatz? Am I considered monstrous?”
“No, sir… I’d say you’re beautiful.”
König’s eyes widened at your words, his cheeks burning beneath the mask and he’s so fucking thankful that you can’t see his face or what he looks like underneath. His heart thumps louder than it did when he first saw you.
He is fighting the urge to invite you to move in with him to his quarters, keeping you all to himself. König’s sure that his bedroom is way more spacious and comfier than that of a lieutenant’s. The Austrian giant has to physically restrain himself from snatching you, and dragging you into the shadows with him where no one can rip you from his embrace – he can’t bear thinking about you being with someone else.
“Was it offensive… sir?”
“No, liebling. I just think you are blind.”
König would absolutely whisk you away right now. All you need to do was say the word, and he’d be following your words as if they are the ten commandments. He can and will buy you an estate if you want, just pick a place—preferably in Hallstatt, Austria—and that would be easy for him. König would love to just provide for you, to get to go home to someone as adorable and meek as you are – eager to succeed and be praised by the most little of things. You would be protected there. No one would ever disturb you.
His father was never there for his mother. Left nothing to support her other than trauma after he was hunted down by the townsfolk and brutally murdered. König tells himself that he would be different, that he would give you the world. You need only ask. 
He understands that being delusional isn’t healthy, and that his psychiatrist would definitely shoot him with a Nerf gun for letting himself descend into this type of madness, but he was old.
And lonely.
And you’re just so sweet and so nice to him, going so far as to tell him he’s beautiful. And despite spending too much time in waters, König drowns himself in fantasies about you being in a giant house, welcoming him home after his deployment, pregnant and eager to kiss him sweetly. You who can be his everything. A cure for his troubles and woes, even though his psychiatrist had severely advised him to not put your partner on high pedestals because it is extremely unhealthy and co-dependent.
König knows he can’t just blurt shit out as he pleases, lest he scares you away. You would scream at him, call him a sociopath – or a psychopath if you aren’t as knowledgeable as him in the department of terms. He is only self-aware enough to know that he can lose you if he made one wrong move.          
He’s old and tired. And he wants to experience fatherhood before he dies, preferably having you as his klein Frau. But he can’t rush you. He needs to bid his time. In that moment, König decided—regretfully so—to let you go back to your duties for the day.
He needed to get close to you than he ever did before—needed to work with you to have you close to him at all times.
“That would be all, liebling.” König says to you. “You are free to go now. I don’t really want to hold you up here for too long.”
“It’s an honour to be picked by you, colonel.” You chirp happily, eager to maintain this casualness between you two in hopes of getting promoted faster.
The giant, behemoth of a man watches you walk away from him, eyes glued to your hips and adorable, plump ass. Your frame still smaller than him even when you stood up to your full height. It was endearing to him. Soft blue eyes following your every move, watching you as you give him one last smile and a friendly wave before you closed the door shut behind you.
“I’d say you’re beautiful.”
Your words echoed in his head, making the older being flustered as he ran his hands over his face and sighed. He couldn’t get it out of his mind, and he knew he’d be clinging to that until the day he died.
“It shall be the day that the sun is at its peak when you find what you longingly desire. Once the sky is thick with water and the blood of warriors are spilled, the gods will give you a chance to converse with this creature. You should turn them away. Put them at arms-length, but you are a selfish being. You would devour them, drain them until they are merely husks because of your depravities… I pity this young girl.”
He recalls the stupid reading he had gotten from a so-called ‘wise woman’ twelve years ago in her quaint house at Wolfengasse street. Maybe that völva was genuine in her craft before she left Austria.
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bubblergoespop · 8 months
Text
My Top Milo Quotes
i wanna devour this man so bad. the original version of this is at least triple the length omfg. @mrsmiagreer it’s finally here <3
“From one pretty face to another.”
“Bedroom? Oh. Ohhh. [gremlin giggling]”
“Cute?! You’re gonna come here, into my home, uninvited, and tell me I look cute when I’m mad? First of all sweetheart, you’re damn right I’m cute—“
“Jesus Christ who taught you how to do healing magic, a construction worker with a jackhammer?!”
“Me and Ash give each other shit all the time. He calls me a runt, I call him a bitch bottom, we laugh, we move on.”
“Cuddled up with you, in front of a fire? That’s a one-way ticket to sleepytown, USA, population: this guy.”
“I do not spoil him! Well whaddya want me to do? He’s my lil guy.”
“I swear to god, if I’m lyin I’m dyin, he looks him dead in the eye and says “if concerns about the future of your relationship with Amanda are weighing on you too heavily, I’m sure I can get by with just Milo and Asher here.”
“Are you Lasky?”
“Touch me and your life will be measured in milliseconds. I can see myself out.”
“It’s back. I’m back.”
“And next thing you know, boom, you’re sitting here, a broken man, barefoot with no fucking dress socks.”
“‘So Mr. Greer, what was it that ultimately pushed you over the edge?’ Oh, I don’t know officer, might have something to do with the walking terror I call a mate.”
“So what if I am sappy? I’m running on sleepy middle of the night brain, you get what you get. Shhh. Hush. Don’t you be mean to me. I’m trying to help.”
“He’s a good little dude. Isn’t that right, bub?
“I got to hold my favorite person in the whole world. And only occasionally had to threaten to choke them out.”
“Mmm. You’re cute. Yeah, I called you cute. What are you gonna do about it? Get grumpy? Just makes you look cuter.”
“Do not call them my ‘titties’ you asshole!”
“Personally, I think I’m better at getting clothes off a ya than putting em on, but I’m ever at your service, baby.”
“No no no, don’t do that button. Yeah. Yeah, leave that one undone.”
“There’s my sweetheart.”
“Yeah. Well, it beats for you, sweetheart. A little more sappy shit for the road.”
“There ya go, that looks perfect! Yeah, what you’re wearing right now! You look fucking incredible in it. Yeah, I know you haven’t even started changing into the next look, what’s your point?”
“When I say you’re my mate, I mean it with every inch of me. When I say it, my core lights up like a firework. And when I feel your core answer it, and mirror it back, it feels like the fourth of fucking July in my chest.”
“I mean, obviously we’re gonna look fucking great no matter what, it is us after all”
“Hey, I know Ash is your mate, but would you mind if I use that choke collar you have for him real quick?”
“The power couple”
“And the energizer bunny takes a tumble.”
“And you won’t believe this next part but, uh, as a wolf, I don’t have hands.”
“You don’t have to ask, baby, I trust you. I know you’ll be gentle.”
“You feel like forever in my arms.”
“Oh my god, do they think my house smells weird?”
“I don’t want this for you, baby.”
“These muscles got more knots in em than you had wrapped around you the other night. And that’s saying something.”
“You run through my blood like oxygen, sweetheart.”
“Whose mouth is this?”
“And do not wear that belt, how old is that thing? It looks awful!”
“You’re not alone. I’m here. The pack’s here.”
“You want to see a hissy fit, bootlicker?”
“Cmon, head up. Up for me. There you go. I wanna see this pretty face.”
“Kissing my palm like that… you’re too fucking cute.”
“I just wanna feel you.”
795 notes · View notes
freakyformula · 7 days
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First time with the Wolf
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Summary: Reader and Toto has been dating for a year and they finally have sex for the first time.
Writers comment: This is for all the sluts with daddy issues (myself included).
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, smut obviously, fluff, daddy kink??, innocence kink, google translated german.
Word count: 3,3k
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Toto Wolff.
Billionaire.
CEO of Mercedes F1 Team.
….Who also happens to be your boyfriend.
You had been seeing each other for about a year now, you caught his eye at an afterparty, and you instantly hit it off.
As you were stuck studying, you couldn't be with him at his place of work that often, but every time you got the chance, you did. Everyone at the Mercedes garage adored you, although you heard some whispering about you and Toto's age gap and your intentions with him at first.
Your life felt complete. It felt like you had everything a person could ask for. Toto was treating you like a princess, sending you gifts and even giving you his black card, encouraging you to use it. Every time you met up with him, he'd be soft with you. Not forcing you to do anything you didn't want to. Holding you close whenever you needed it. Sending you sweet texts during the day.
"Y/N, do you know the answer to this question?" The professor asks.
Shit, daydreaming again.
"Uuuuh, yes, erm…" You tried to save the awkward situation but it was in vain.
Later, you were sat on the sofa in your extravagant apartment that Toto had insisted you needed. For what, was beyond you.
"Toto, I made a complete fool of myself today and it's your fault!" You tell him over the phone.
You had a routine of calling every day to check in with each other.
"What do you mean it's my fault? I'm innocent." He argues back and sticks his tongue out playfully.
"I was thinking about you and ended up daydreaming, and then my professor asked me a question!" You explain.
"Thinking of me?" He says as he drags the last part out and points at himself. "Liebe, do you miss me as much as I miss you? I'm having a hard time staying away from you. I think about you beside me every night, about how good you feel beside me. You belong beside me." He explains.
You gasp at his words. Toto was rarely this straightforward. You couldn't help feeling a tingle in your stomach, feeling aftershocks in the rest of your body.
"Beside you��? Sir Toto, what are you implying?" You ask.
You had intentionally waited to have sex, with Toto wanting your first time to be special. You weren't a virgin or anything, but you hadn't had the courage to take on a man of Toto's size yet and he knew about it, hence why he wanted to wait. He was proud of his size and carried himself well.
"I'd like to know if you want to visit Jeddah and spend the race weekend with me and the crew? Lewis has asked when he will be seeing you again, he seems to have a weak spot for you." Toto asks.
His question didn't really come as a shock, he'd often ask multiple times if you wanted to join him on his travels.
"Toto, I, I'm afraid…" You say as you know taking a few days off wouldn't hurt. You felt overworked and could need some time off the hectic pace at school. You could ask your friends to share notes later and work on your assignments on the plane. Besides, you were in the middle of the semester, meaning no upcoming exams.
He gives you a small pout when he hears the impending rejection but lights up as you continue.
"… You'll regret ever inviting me to Jeddah, I will be pestering you and the team all weekend."
He looks up at the screen of his phone and looks confused. Then, as the words sink in, his lips turn into a wide smile. "Are you serious, Schatz?" He asks alarmingly calmly.
"One hundred percent, Toto." You confirm.
"Jesus Christ, I love you so much!" He celebrates. "I'll book the plane tickets right away, can you make it to the airport by tomorrow evening?"
"I'd love that, do I need to bring anything?"
"Only that beautiful smile of yours!" He exclaims.
And with that, you finished the call and said your goodbyes to a very excited Toto.
The next day you spent packing and arranging for your friends at school to take notes for you, thanking them for the trouble.
You made it to the airport with time to spare. You spent the spare time on your laptop, working on that one assignment that made you question your choice of studies. Finally, your boarding was called.
The flight went smoothly, and when you arrived to Jeddah, a man was waiting for you as Toto had instructed, driving you back to the hotel you and Toto were staying at.
The doormen helped you with the bags and you were escorted up to your room.
When you opened the door to the grand suite, you saw Toto standing in the middle of the room, with a bouquet of roses in his arms. He gave you a wide smile when you came into view.
You instantly ran up to him and he lifted you into his big and strong arms, peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle.
The suite was equipped with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a huge main living room.
Toto showed you around, holding you close.
"So… I'm assuming you'll be spending your time sleeping next to me, in my bed, right?" Toto asked carefully.
You chuckle and turn around, facing him. "It's not like I haven't done that before."
Both you and Toto were tired and soon got ready for bed. As you get in under the covers, you make yourself comfortable and wait for Toto to join you, which he does, with a certain urgency.
He hovers halfway over you, and places a soft kiss on your forehead. You lean into the kiss and look up at him, he looks like a true god like this.
"God, there's so much I want to do with you… To experience with you, Y/N."
"Show me, then." You urge him.
"Someday, I will."
And with that, both of you fall asleep.
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You wake up before Toto and pry yourself free from his tight grip, making him frown and search for your lost body in his sleep.
You take a quick shower and get yourself ready for the day, rocking a floral sundress you knew Toto would love.
As you step out of the bathroom, Toto is sitting on the edge of the bed, buttoning up his white shirt. When he sees you, he gets up and walks up to you.
"Let me help you with that." You say and start working the buttons.
Toto smiles at you and grabs your hips. "Good morning, Y/N. You look so beautiful, I'm so happy you came here."
You finish up breakfast and get to the track, meeting up with Lewis again. Today, the garage was buzzing with people of all sorts. Mechanics, celebrities and fans were squashed together. And then there was you and Toto, and while he held you close, protecting you from accidental blows and rude comments, you still felt uncomfortable.
Luckily, Toto had arranged for you to stay close to him and follow the race from a peaceful spot.
You celebrated with the whole garage as George finished 3rd and Lewis finished 5th, both scoring valuable points.
Toto runs up to you, and easily lifts you up into his arms. Then, out of nowhere, he catches your lips in a deep kiss. This was the first time he showed affection in public and it took you by surprise. Feeling lost and flushed, he sets you down again.
"Congrats Toto, I know this means a lot to you." You say.
Mercedes had two rough past seasons behind them, so even if it was just a 3rd and 5th place, the whole garage celebrated as if it was a victory.
"Would you like to go out for dinner later?" He asks, "I'll have you driven back to the hotel, and I will be back after the briefings."
As you get back to the suite, you take a quick shower to freshen up. The cool water is a welcome feeling on your overheating body. You fix yourself up, apply some light makeup, and do your hair. You choose a flowy black dress, which accentuates your figure perfectly.
"Y/N?" Toto calls out.
"In here!" You yell.
He finds you and stops in his tracks, taking the sight of you in.
"Y/N… You're exquisite." He says as he gives you a quick kiss. He takes your hand and leads you out to the balcony of the suite. You stand at the railing and enjoy the view as Toto places himself behind you, he presses himself against you and traps you in place with both his hands on each side of you.
"For you, my love." He says as he hands you the box.
"Toto." You warn him, not wanting him to spoil you too often.
"Just open it, Y/N. You deserve it." He urges.
And when you inevitably open the box, you're met with the most beautiful diamond earrings you've ever seen.
You take a moment to just take in what you're holding.
"You, Y/N, are going to wear these tonight." He explains, helping you put them on, them fitting you perfectly. You look and feel expensive.
You wait for Toto to finish his shower while you admire the gemstones hanging from your ears.
Because you're in Jeddah, you decide on Middle Eastern food for the night.
Toto knows the city very well and takes you to one of the best-rated restaurants.
You spend the evening in a booth of said restaurant, babbling away.
As soon as you step into the hotel room, Toto's hands and lips are on you. He keeps a slow pace, making sure to not hurry.
You follow his lead, kissing him back and caressing his arms, slowly moving to his chest.
You part the kiss and look at his deep brown eyes, panting. "I want you, Toto."
Your words switch something on in Toto's brain. You'd never been that straightforward with him before, asking for him.
He picks you up, with you kissing and biting his neck as he walks you to the bedroom, making him groan in pain and pleasure.
Toto is a gentleman and lets you down from his arms with much care.
"Can I take this off?" Toto asks as he creeps over the zipper to your dress with his fingers.
Your mind is already failing you, and you nod, thinking it would suffice. Much to Toto's dismay, that is, as he tuts at you. "Words, schatzi."
You're struggling to form a complete sentence, so you settle for a simple "Please."
"Good girl. Doing so well for me already."
This wasn't new for your relationship, you'd done things to each other before but you hadn't gone all the way.
Toto helps you out of the dress and falls to his knees at the sight. Like a starved man, he creeps closer and places kisses on your bare chest, creeping lower and lower down. When he reaches your panties, he looks up with a questioning look, and you nod enthusiastically.
With the confirmation, he leans down to your heat again, grabs the panties with his teeth, and proceeds to pull them down. Looking at him doing this to you of all people, and him enjoying it, was ecstasy. When your pussy comes into view, he lets the panties fall to the floor, giving your mound a feather-light kiss.
You can feel his breath on your lower stomach, and you grab his hair and pull him closer to you. Toto takes it as an invitation to keep going with what he's doing. This time though, he comes closer to your aching core, parting your folds and placing a kiss between them. You're shaking at this point and Toto takes notice. Standing was starting to become hard.
"Y/N, sit down on the edge of the bed."
You do as you're told and sit on the edge of the bed with your hands in your lap.
You follow Toto's movements as he takes his shirt and pants off, leaving only his underwear on.
When he creeps closer to you, your hands reach out for him.
You frown when he stops just of your reach.
"What do you want, Y/N? Come get it." He says.
You sigh, and get up on your knees. You bend forward and pull on his hands, guiding him to you. This must have been thought out ahead of time because your face ends up where Toto's bulging length is. Your mouth waters at the sight and you look up at him, asking for permission.
"Go ahead, Y/N."
You place your hands on his chest and slide them lower down, passing by his nipples, abs, and crotch.
As your hand touches his cock through the fabric, it twitches, and Toto lets out a small grunt.
You tease and pass by the lining of his underwear, grabbing it and pulling down on them slowly, just to let go. You start palming his cock and Toto barely keeps control over himself. You can see that vein in his temple, and it's about to pop.
As you slowly pull his underwear again, intending to tease him further, you drag them a little too low and his manhood slides out.
You look at it with big eyes, thinking how it's ever going to fit in you.
You softly grab it and steer it towards your mouth. You lick the head of his cock slowly and look up at him. He looks at you with such admiration in his eyes that you can feel yourself creaming between your legs.
Toto grabs your hair and pulls it into a makeshift ponytail.
"Open up." He demands.
You open up for his length and you're able to take a fourth of him until you start to gag. Toto doesn't press you further but keeps the pace for you. You grab the rest of him with your hands and start pumping him at the same time.
Toto must have been so close because he pulls you off and gently takes your hands into his. Bending down, he kisses you deeply, helping you lie down on the bed. He follows and lies down beside you, with half of his body on top.
"Can I mount you?" He asks.
Now this, this was new. He'd never been on top of you before.
"Y-yes." You whisper, barely audible.
"Don't be scared, Y/N. You're doing so well, do you want me?"
You scoff at his question, "Of course, Toto. It's just, I'm scared it'll hurt."
"I know you're scared, that's why I'm asking if you're sure you want to do this with me. There's nothing I want more right now, but if you're not comfortable, I'm ready to wait. With that said, I can't promise it won't hurt, but I will be as careful as I possibly can.
You process his words carefully.
"O-okay." You stutter, "I'm ready."
Toto smiles at you and hovers over you. He leans in and licks your lips and you grant him access to your mouth. He kisses you deeply and wrestles with your tongue for dominance.
His hands slide down your sides and stop at your hips, lifting them up giving him easier access to your warm and pulsating heat. His mouth leaves marks everywhere it comes into contact with, making you moan.
Now it's his turn to tease you. He goes down, sucking on your tits and nipples, leaving kisses on your stomach, leaving lovebites on your thighs and kissing the insides of your thighs, moving from one leg to another without touching you where you needed him most.
"Please, Toto, need you!" You beg.
"Patience, love." He tells you off.
He keeps admiring and praising your body for what feels like forever. Finally, you feel a kiss on your mound, followed by a lick along your drenched slit.
The feeling makes you buck your hips, making him grab your hips with his arms and hold you down.
He starts eating you out at such an unforgiving pace that you cum almost instantly. He lets you calm down before he adds a finger and it slides inside you easily. He starts pumping it slowly, pressing it up against your G-spot.
"Oh god, Toto!" You exclaim.
He adds another finger and he watches as your eyes roll back.
Another finger, the stretch feels uncomfortable at first but you get used to it fast. Especially since he keeps his mouth on your clit. Deeming you ready for him, he hovers over you.
"Ready to do this with me, liebe?"
You start nodding but remember his demand.
"Yes, please Toto, take it slow?" You ask.
"I'll be as careful as I can, Y/N. I promise."
And with that said, he lines himself up with you and starts pressing on your entrance. You feel yourself opening up slightly and tense up, pushing his tip out again.
"Relax for me, Y/N. Deep breaths."
He instructs you on your breathing while he presses his tip in. You yelp at the feeling but quickly calm down as Toto starts caressing your cheek and encouraging you.
"You're taking my cock so well schatzi."
"Breath for me."
"Look at you, so beautiful beneath me."
"Those earrings look so good on you, I knew it was a good investment."
He'd shower you with compliments and affection which made the pain a little more manageable.
You gasp in pain as you feel your entrance giving way to his huge member.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, liebling."
As he pushes himself in a little bit further, you writhe in pain.
But then, when he starts pulling back and slowly pushing in, further each time, it feels good.
You moan in unison when he bottoms out within you. The pain has subsided and all you feel now is pure pleasure.
Toto pumps into you at a relentless pace, making you see stars and yelling out your second orgasm.
"Ride me?" He asks and you follow his lead as he bends backwards, ending up on his back. Without parting, you start riding him, slowly at first, but increasing the pace as you get more comfortable.
Toto is massaging and kissing your tits as you look each other deep in the eyes. This position is giving him easy access to your clit, tits, and your ass.
"I'm cumming, Y/N…" He says as he grabs your hips and starts pistoning his hips into you.
You watch his contorted face as he cums deep inside you, painting your walls white with his seed.
He kisses your face languidly as botho of you catch your breath, and you process what just happened.
"I'm so sorry I had you wait for almost a year before we did this." You admit.
"I guess we have a lot of catching up to do then." Toto smirks at you.
"Now, wait here." He instructs as he hurries off to the bathroom.
When you hear rippling you decide to disobey his orders and follow him to the bathroom.
As you turn the corner, you see Toto running a bath.
"Thought you might want to clean yourself up. Here, I'll help you." He says as he helps you into the warm water. He stays with you, assisting with the loofah and leaving kisses on your body.
After a while Toto sinks down behind you, enjoying the warm water as much as you. You spend your evening there, just soaking and talking. When you get up, Toto helps drying you off and wraps you up in a bathrobe.
"Thank you for tonight, Toto."
"Thank you, Y/N. We need to do this again, soon."
This was the definition of love. No way you could go back to your ordinary life after this.
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307 notes · View notes
randomshyperson · 11 months
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Lacy - Werewolf!Reader x Wanda Maximoff - Kinktober #07
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Summary: This Halloween, Wanda receives a surprise visit from her favorite werewolf. The problem is that it's very difficult to keep a crush hidden during mating season.
Warnings: (+18), mutual pining, semi-public, very vague allusions to omega verse, beefy!reader, power!bottom wanda, a bit rough but they are actually sweet to each other, some praising and dirty talk. | Words: 3.144k
A/N-> First, I know nothing about werewolves. It was never my thing growing up (I’m a witch type of person I suppose) but I know about omegaverse stuff and since it’s wolf-based I tried some references from that lore. Also, I was totally thinking about Wednesday's show (and Wenclair ship tbh) when writing the school but you all be free to image whatever you wish. Also, the name is from Olivia Rodrigo’s song, ‘cause it’s such a friends-to-lovers/mutual pining coded lyrics. Good reading folks! 
General Masterlist | Kinktober Collection | AO3 | Wattpad
-&-
The mating season was always the most tiring part of the year.
Even as a child, her days were marked by hard work and running errands - her mother was always very busy with orders, and somehow, the twins were obliged to finish the tasks in record time, so as not to delay the calendars and keep Natalya busy when her customers needed her.
As the largest and most respected apothecary in the country, Natalya Maximoff was also one of the biggest dealers in magical items - and this also included natural suppressants. Her customers wrote to her from all over the world, many famous packs like the Romanoffs or the Howletts only bought her products, and the witch was always very busy at this time of year.
So when their mother told them that she would leave the Maximoff Magical Articles Boutique in their care for two whole days, while she delivered packages around the world, none of them were surprised, as this had been done dozens of times before.
Wanda's indignation stemmed from the fact that her twin brother, as soon as there were no more magical remnants of the portal his mother had conjured to travel through, put on a jacket and told her he was leaving.
"But you can't leave me alone!" Wanda hurried away from the counter. Pietro chuckled, adjusting his hat on his silver hair. Since he had turned 18 last month, he had grown a good few centimeters, and even with her best serious expression, Wanda, who hadn't grown much since she was 15, no longer succeeded in frightening him. That, and well, like his father, Pietro had a bastard heritage of lycanthropy, and with his new skills, he had also gained extreme confidence.
"What, you gonna tell me you're scared of some little wolves?" He sneered, his fangs protruding from his smile. Wanda huffed angrily, her cheeks slightly red. "Don't be silly, Wanda. You're a witch. Nobody's is crazy enough to mess with you."
He tries to pat her on the shoulder, but Wanda pushes a finger against his chest. "I'm not afraid of any wolves, you selfish idiot! Mom says the store is our responsibility. And you're sneaking off to do who knows what! I don't want to spend all night looking after this place on my own. Apart from the season, it's Halloween, and kids go apeshit and-"
"Jesus, Wanda, I'll make it up to you!" He cuts in, already pulling away and ignoring the other girl's protests. "I've got to go, I'm taking Crystal to the movies, then we'll settle up!
"Pietro!" But the call was ignored and the store door was slammed in her face.
Wanda huffed to herself. She could survive a Halloween night, but her brother would owe her a lot if he didn't want to be snitched on. She returned to the counter, texting him another dozen curses before texting to her mother that everything was under control.
And lucky for her, that's how the evening actually went. 
Most of the few customers who showed up were locals, a few sorcerers in need of ingredients, and even a traveling vampire who needed to replenish some reserves for a long trip. Some children also asked for candy, and tired of getting up so often, Wanda decided to leave the jars outside.
It was almost at the end of her shift, when she was ready to close the shop, that a delicious smell wafted into the room. Wanda, who was distracted by the holiday lessons that the institute where she studied always offered when there were short vacations or not, was snapped out of her concentration by the fascinating smell. She looked up just as a figure stumbled into the store, covered by a school uniform hood.
She didn't need you to remove the cap to recognize you, and yet, when your face became visible, Wanda felt her heart unlearn how to beat properly. 
"Good evening?" You looked between the shelves, approaching the cashier, only to hesitate as soon as you saw Wanda. "Oh, h-hi. Uh, is Madame Maximoff around?"
You looked uneasy, adjusting your hair and fiddling with your fingers. Your flushed face must have been due to the walk from the Institute to the store. 
Wanda shook her head as she replied: "She had some orders to place. How can I help you?"
The color of your face deepened, and you couldn't look her in the eye for more than two seconds. "Hmm, I kind of need... suppressants." And it was the turn of Wanda's face to heat up. You continued talking anxiously. "I thought I still had some, but my reservation ran out, and since I'm in the dorm, I wouldn't want to... well, would you have any left? I know it's very short notice but I really need it."
Wanda nodded quickly, equally at a loss for words. You see, if you were any other of her werewolf colleagues, the situation might even be comical. She wasn't like Pietro and didn't make friends very easily, but she shared the same taunting nature. One horny wolf in the store and Wanda would have jokes for the rest of the year. But it was you, her longtime secret crush, emanating a very pleasant scent and in need of something so intimate that Wanda could barely control her own thoughts about what other ways she could help you if there were no other suppressors in the store.
"My mom usually sells everything before the season starts, but I can look in the warehouse to see if we have any leftovers. I'll be right back." She says, smiling softly at your anxious figure.
Wanda has never seen you in heat before; the mating seasons for new wolves begin at the end of puberty, between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, and the vast majority of her werewolf classmates at the Institute return to their packs at this time of year, already matched with their partners in the traditions of the lycanthrope. Wanda only knows about the rituals from her father's family, because each clan, from the Vampires to the witches, is very private about it all. Witches like her mother, who specialize in all kinds of products, are the exceptions.
Wanda tries the storeroom next to the counter, but after a few boxes, she snorts in frustration. Her mother really did sell everything, and she almost reprimanded you for not planning properly. For older, mismatched wolves, being without suppressors could be really dangerous. For you, a new werewolf, it would only be quite painful. It was easier for her to feel sorry. 
And while she tried the last few shelves at the back of the storeroom, you grew even more restless outside. Wanda had no idea how intoxicating the essence of a witch, especially a witch one cared about, was. If you hadn't been so desperate, you would have given up going into the store as soon as you could smell her from around the corner, but then again, your brain wasn't working very rationally right now.
And there was also a scarf on the counter, Wanda's most characteristic item since she had received it as a gift so many years ago. Many of the times you've noticed her, she's worn the item around her neck and it made sense that her scent was so strong in the room, even though she was upstairs.
Your limbs moved by instinct, you didn't have to think much, just let yourself be guided by the urge to exhale that distinctive smell more deeply. 
Your face was pressed against the scarf when Wanda reappeared, and her confused giggle made you jump away mortified.
"Are you all right there?" She ventured, receiving a very quick and embarrassed nod. Wanda chuckled again in amazement, and without caring much about your current condition, she approached. "I looked upstairs, but my mother sold everything, sorry. There's something else you might like to try, maybe a calming potion so you can sleep while... well, this happens to you."
You quickly agree, still embarrassed at being caught. Wanda doesn't mind, if anything, she always found it very entertaining how different you were from the other werewolves she knew; loud and confident to the point of being idiotic. Pietro was a prime example. And if it wasn't for your distinctive stature, she could easily have assumed from your shy and careful personality that you were just an ordinary human, perhaps a mermaid from the way you seemed to bewitch Wanda's attention all to yourself.
"I'm sorry." You mutter suddenly, while she is searching for a sleeping potion on the shelf under the counter. Wanda turns her face up in confusion, but you're looking away. "From the scarf, I know it's... weird. But my body seems to be acting on its own. Just forget about it when we get back to school, okay? I'll be normal when it's over."
"Don't worry, I don't mind." She assured meekly, before finally finding some bottles that could help you and taking them back to the counter. She bit her lip at the way you were panting, and the way your trembling fingers pulled some notes and coins out of your pocket. "You can take these two vials today, and this one in the morning if you're still..."
"Horny'?" You joke, and take Wanda by surprise, but she manages to return the short laugh. Your hands push out the money and she turns away to pack the vials into a small bag. "So, one now and two tomorrow."
Wanda quickly denies it. "No, darling, two now and one tomorrow. Are you... are you sure you're all right? You're sweating-"
"Just give me a minute." You interrupt her with a gasp, the sudden wave of heat catching you completely off guard. The room starts to spin, and for a whole moment, all you can feel is your own arousal and the way you want to touch the witch in front of you. Your body gives way, and your hands force down on the counter, disastrously strong enough for the wood to crack. Wanda jumps in fright, worried, but you grunt quietly. "Shit, I'm really sorry-"
She hurries around the counter, and her soft hands make you jump away. "Hey, it's okay, I just want to help you stand up."
But you gasp in despair, wrenching your body away from her. "Don't touch me, Wanda, for God's sake." You grunt, and if you hadn't sounded so affected, Wanda would have taken offense. Instead, she stands ready to catch you if you lose your balance again, and that's exactly what happens. This time, your weight falls forward, and Wanda's body serves as a barrage. 
Your wolfish weight is almost too much for her, and it doesn't help that your face is buried against her collarbone, and your arms embrace her clumsily. "Hm, so soft." She hears you sigh, as she struggles to drag you over to the reading area of the store's bookshelves, where there's a sofa to put you on. When you fall into the cushions, you look up with dreamy eyes and an easy smile playing on your lips. Wanda gasps softly from exhaustion. 
"Wait here a moment, okay? You feel like you're burning up with a fever. I'll get you some water." She explains, but it doesn't seem like you're listening very much, disconcerting her with the way you're looking at you so discourteously, your pupils dilating. Wanda adjusts a strand of hair, self-conscious under your gaze. "I'll be right back."
She practically runs out of there, and alone, realizing her own hands are trembling as she remembers the sensation of having your body against hers. She shakes her head to push the thought away, you were clearly in a vulnerable moment right now, and Wanda doesn't think she'll survive the shame of being rejected once the heat wears off.
When Wanda returns with the water, she almost drops the glass on the floor. You haven't moved, but you've changed position, limp against the sofa, evidently rubbing yourself down the item as you whimper. 
"Oh, detka, let me help you." Wanda abandons the glass on a shelf, and rushes to your side, kneeling beside the sofa. You gasp in embarrassment, trying to escape her gaze, but Wanda's hands grab your warm face. "Let's go upstairs. I'll make it better." She whispers the invitation, but the thought alone is enough for you to grunt in affection and pull her face towards you. 
It's a hungry kiss, and the position doesn't help. Wanda has to grab your shoulders to keep from falling to the floor and ends up breaking into a giggle when a moment later it's you who's throwing yourself at her, desperately kissing her as if she's going to disappear. 
The lightness disappears quickly. She feels very hot and bothered, especially when your tongue slips into hers as if you already knew exactly how to kiss her, and your hands touch her entire body with determination. Her plea for you to slow down turns into a moan when your knee pushes between her legs.
It's almost primitive the way you seem willing to have her right there on the floor, angrily trying to pull her clothes off while your moans mingle. Wanda's face burns and she struggles to match the kiss, losing that battle all too easily when your palms begin to stimulate her nipples. 
She can feel the wetness begin to bother her through the fabric of her panties, and perhaps, you can smell it too, because you grow more impatient, and begin to murmur disconnected compliments into her skin, your hands reaching down to unzip her pants. Wanda chokes between moans, practically whimpering when your fingers find her so ready. 
You enter her, all at once, without a second thought. You suck on her tongue as she squeezes your fingerprints and soaks your hand. It's dirty and rough, and Wanda couldn't hold back even if she tried. Yet the store door opens, and she has to bite down hard on your shoulder to muffle her own noises.
Whoever the customer is, asking if there's anyone there or if the store is open, Wanda makes sure they don't see her. Her eyes are scarlet, and it's never been harder to do a concealment spell than it is now, with your fingers thrusting inside her as if the world around you hardly mattered. Finally, the customer leaves and her magic plays its part in locking the door before Wanda digs her nails into your back and comes against your fingers.
It's not enough - Nothing seems to be. You continue your movements inside her until Wanda is spasming again, begging for a pause. Your hungry mouth finds its way into her most intimate place then, just to tear more pleasure out of her. She loses count of how many times she comes, on your fingers and tongue, until the whole store smells of sex.
Fuck, she has to move you before Pietro comes back.
It's only when you let her breathe, retreating like a wounded wolf, that Wanda notices the puddle of moisture on your pants. You came at the mere act of watching and touching her. 
"Hey, are you okay, sweetheart?" She coos gently, propping herself up on one elbow now that you're lying on your back, one arm over your face. Your clothes are as torn as theirs, but there are many more marks on her body than on yours. 
You sniffle quietly, and Wanda looks at you with concern. "Why didn't you stop me?" you ask upset, and Wanda stares in shock for a moment. Then, swallowing dryly, she works up the courage:
"You didn't want this?"
But your reaction is to laugh incredulously. "Of course, I wanted it, Wanda! But I'm talking about you. Why didn't you stop me? You're a witch, you could have knocked me down, look at you! You're all purple, and I... God, I can't believe I... hurt you." 
She climbs into your lap before you can despair, ignoring your soft protest and grabbing your crying face. "I haven't stopped you because I've wanted you to since we met." She assures you determinedly, caressing your cheeks. "I'm in love with you, you idiot."
Sniffling softly, you raise hopeful eyes. "Really?"
Wanda smiles, her weight against your chest. "Really." She assures you. "And don't worry about the marks, I... like it rough."
You groan in embarrassment, looking away and amusing her. There's a moment's pause, and then finally: "I like you too."
Wanda bites back a smile. "I got that impression, you know? When you were all whiny on me." 
Your laugh is sincere and shy, and Wanda kisses you as your hands grip her thighs. But before she can deepen it the way she'd like, you break again.
"Thanks for helping with the heat... but I'll take you on a date after this. I promise."
She pulls on your bottom lip with a provocative bite. "I'll charge." She assures you in a naughty whisper, and you sigh contentedly as she presses your hips together. Smooth movements, and you're already seeing stars again. 
Your breathing becomes shorter, and Wanda traces her fingers along your jaw, while her other hand moves down. "I bet you're all warm and tight."
You sigh, closing your eyes and nodding in agreement. Wanda kisses you leisurely, also taking time to slide her fingers into your pants and assess the effects of everything so far. She's not surprised by the immense wetness, but the sensation of sinking into you is overwhelming. She can feel ready for another when she starts to stimulate you and watches you squirm beneath her.
"So good... don't stop..." You moan helplessly, and the grip on her thighs is almost strong enough to hurt. Wanda makes a mental note of how to make you lose control of your strength, before curling her fingers inside you and being rewarded with the sweetest sounds in the world. "W-Wanda!"
She decides she likes it very, very much when you whimper her name like that. She continues her motions a few more times until you come hard on her fingers. Wanda thrusts a few times, before removing them and bringing them to her mouth, sucking them clean while you try to catch a breath. 
Your murmurs are labored, and Wanda kisses your cheek a few times. "Come on upstairs, sweet baby, I'll take care of you." She tries to get up, but your hands steady her on your lap.
It's almost ridiculous how easily you lift the two of you, and Wanda has to hold onto your shoulders, chuckling softly at your uncertain stumbles on the way upstairs. 
She'll have time to look after the store when you fall asleep. Right now, she's more focused on kissing you again.
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soulrph · 1 year
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chaotic unhinged lines from 2022-2023 (prompt edition).
basically in 2021 i made a list of prompts inspired by lines in tiktok videos and instagram reels that made me laugh so hard i cried! and now i have returned with another list! these may provide an alarmingly clear image of what my sense of humor is (aka broken) but i figure a little levity is always a good thing! more prompts are forthcoming, but in the mean time: bon appetit!
knowledge has always chased you, but you've always been faster.
no... no, that was mango apathy juice. from the farmer's market.
of all these people, you are the one i understand the least. i want to get to know you better, but like, not that much better.
i-i will CHEW YOUR MEAT!! WHAT are you doing?!
ooooh god, no, you wouldn't be long getting frostbit!
you are evil. like a hobbit.
WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!?!!?
i have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
AHEM!! fill my cup.
may god ignore you like you ignored my greetings.
i will avenge you mister van gogh.
call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder. here's fifteen dollars.
you're not in love. you may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.
go ahead and put the ranch away.
sadly, "hopefully" doth butter no parsnips.
forget school, i want to be an italian sandwich.
you shouldn't skip work, you are a lawyer and he is a hamster.
you can stop roleplaying now. you're free.
her coupon game was so fucking raw.
i'm sorry guys... he's making a salad.
you could get a straight guy here if you learned to make a good pasta. i'll teach you how to make a risotto that'll get you married and out of my basement.
hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have night meats?
it's not the most ethical thing in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.
no, children, you're wrong. once upon a time, there was a piece of wood.
and i'm not saying she deserved it, but i am saying that god's timing is always riiiiight.
hydrate or die-drate, ya DICK!
why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD.
new york city is a fictional place written up by someone with a sinister mind and a knack for comedy.
this is grindr my guy.
wait, i didn't finish teaching you the difference between human and wolf anatomy.
it's time to tell your grandmother that she was wrong. do not be afraid.
vanilla vodka... you fucking child.
without ash to rise from, a phoenix would just be a bird getting up.
you are fucking alive. do what you want.
why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? this isn't how guys of my generation hang out.
i hope a hedgehog shits in your cereal, you difficult person.
you know, i am not as mean as i would like to be. and i think people should appreciate that more.
see, i am not a kangaroo.
well, i'd like to help, but... you see... not as much as i'd like not to.
rest in peace you fucking onion fairy.
when god sings with all his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?
i fight for a seat in heaven, every. single. day.
map maker? can you find me somewhere on the map where this big man thinks he's the king?
you bald-headed demon...
so... there are 24 million pigs in australia... and 24 million people... so if you ever feel lonely, there's like, a pig out there that's sort of your cosmic twin.
remember, alcohol is god's apology for making us self-aware.
i'm straight!! stop CONFUSING me!!!!!
you guys want something to eat? because... i know we'll die if we don't eat.
he is a BIBLICALLY gorgeous man. i wanna feed him grapes. i wanna fan him with the frond of a date palm from the forests of Lebanon. i wanna find the alabaster vial of perfume oil that one woman broke for jesus and comb it through his hair. like... he's stressing me OUT.
i'm not sad! i'm freaking HUNGRY!
maybe, if we wait a little bit longer, a fuck will fall into my hand, and i can give it to you.
it's not my fault you thought you lived in this IKEA.
let's leave my mother out of this.
jason may kill people but he's not bad enough to kick a dog.
i run for LUMP!
oh no, i'm all out of caring, baby!
you don't think it mcbe that way... but it mcdo.
what is this enticing bowl of white?
serious question, do his nipples sparkle?
what in the reese's peanut butter fuck is going on here?
if your parents don't buy it, stop loving them!
i just hope you know just how much you've decreased productivity today.
that was poetry at its FINEST.
and if you let that motherfucker shenan ONCE, you best believe they're gonna shenanIGAN!
may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took her mom to the hospital to give birth to her.
that's modern milk for ya. what a time to be alive.
you have attachment issues. please fix it.
remember when people had secrets? we should bring that back.
the moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal.
i don't like the cobra chicken.
i didn't know eggs were this expensive? it's time to lay my own, i fear.
so you're saying the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because i'm not a big enough threat yet.
god gave him a top lip, that's why he's so powerful.
it's a common mistake, but frankenstein was actually the author.
i finally got a pocket-sized diary!!! also i don't get the concept of life.
if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, i will immediately change my view. i've no principles.
how did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?
if so much as one tear drops from their eye... i will slap you back into your mum.
you are ringing a phone that does not like to be rung.
look how Dr. doofenschmirtz had a fucked up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his teenage daughter. he projected it onto a platypus.
it is mathematically impossible for you to get a wedgie.
i'm breaking up with you. i love you, it's just... i don't think you could protect me from a mummy.
if you can't do fractions....... you will fucking die.
that's right; in the year 1791, all of our bottoms were killed in a Big Bottom Massacre.
people always assume i'm mean. like CAN you BELIEVE THAT CRAP?! like WHAT would make you think i'm MEAN?! I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!
the chocolate milk is strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal; another of god's little tests.
someone's gotta tell the waiter that i ordered mashed 'taters and it sure as shit ain't gonna be me.
if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.
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sixofcrowdaydreams · 3 months
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I was incredibly lucky enough to get to visit London and see Next to Normal twice in the short time I was there (and meet Jack Wolfe at the stage door!) But lots of fans might not have the same opportunity, so I wanted to share some details about the production and the changes/additions made to the performance since the Donmar production because I remember eagerly reading as many details as possible once upon a time.
Obviously, spoilers ahead for acting choices and stage directions. (Personally, I love spoilers and knowing what to look for in a production, but if you have the chance to see the show and want to be surprised, this is a good place to stop reading.
First off, Diana is shown as waaaaaay more crazy. Her behavior is far more erratic and there's never a moment when you think she's lucid and in control. Personally, I liked this change because I felt like in the Donmar production she was too... normal? She didn't quite behave as the person who broke down in the market, set the house on fire, crashed the car, and jumped in the swimming pool. Here, I completely believe she did all those things. Diana is hypersexual, ripping her top off as she runs past Natalie in the beginning to go have sex with Dan. She plants a kiss on Henry, to Natalie's utter horror, the first time she meets him. (Dan does not react to this, haha, he's used to it.) All of Diana's interactions with with therapists have an undercurrent of overly flirty, sexual dialog. Obviously, this is one sided and unreciprocated from the therapists. At one point she tells the therapist that she's flattered, but her husband is waiting in the car and it's impossible to see it as anything other than super sexual. (She's kinda into it though...) Diana lays curled on the floor more often clutching her head. You never doubt that she is manic.
Let's talk about Gabe.
Jack Wolfe rewrote the role of Gabe, there's no denying that. Instead of the menacing looming ghost, all American jock ghost, Jack plays him as a soft boy. The ultimate soft boy. And I didn't know it was possible, but he ramped that energy up 100% in this production. Jesus christ, he couldn't have been any more adorable if he stood on stage batting his eyelashes. Not only is Gabe played as a soft boy, he's particularly played as being very child-like. It's quite the duality. He has the body and mentality of a supposed 18 year old. He makes a joke about not taking coke "right now," and taunts his father with the location of the car keys at the beginning of the show. Later he reminds his mother that young people in love are horny.
Yet, Gabe's emotional responses, reactions to those around him are extremely childish. It really struck me how similar his expressions of joy, fear, and anger were to my toddler. Eerily similar. In a new addition, his face lights up with uncontrolled joy, giggling when he sees the music box. (His music box.) Gabe jumps to sit on the counter, and hugs it to his chest as he and Diana listen to the music.
There are moments when he is hurt by watching his parents fight and looks absolutely wounded. Like, shoulder hunched, chin tucked in looking down completely betrayed. Another new addition to this production includes Gabe turning his head away and closing his eyes as his mother flushes her pills down the drain. He does not want to see her do it. The dialog is a little at odds with this action because he still tells Diana that he thinks she's being very brave even though he visibly disagrees with her choice.
Gabe recoils in fear during the "chair moment" in a way you wouldn't expect from a young man. When Gabe and Dan crowd Diana during "I Am the One" she lashes out and grabs the chair, swinging it around, forcing them both away from her. Gabe jumps backward in surprise. But this time he also runs behind the counter, visibly terrified that his mother's anger is directed at him. He ducks as she swings the chair, unlike Dan, who is still on the same side of the counter as her and backs out of the way but continues singing and engaging with her, unlike Gabe who does it from a safe distance.
And when Diana's memories of Gabe, and Gabe himself returns after shock therapy, he unleashes the "I'm Alive Reprise" with what I can only describe as the same chaotic gleeful energy my toddler has when my kid starts evil cackling. It's a loud, full body laugh of delight that no one else takes any amusement in that, but that does not stop the child from enjoying it. It's a wild moment in the production. Gabe literally rolls around on top of the counter in delight at being unleashed.
Gabe is also more physically affectionate toward Diana. He hugs her several times and kisses her head. If he gets the opportunity to touch her, he will. In one poignant moment, Dr. Madden convinces Diana to look at Gabe's baby items and start letting go. Gabe tries to get her attention by attempting to hold her hand in order make her talk to him, and instead of taking it, she walks away and leaves him reaching toward her. He is devastated. In the Donmar production Diana and Gabe sat against the counter and leaned on one another. In this production that moment was substituted for Gabe kneeling on the floor and Diana lying on the floor and putting her head in Gabe's lap. He strokes her hair and reassures her.
Instead of seeming jealous or spiteful toward Natalie, Gabe seems enraptured with her. No sibling rivalry here. He tries, unsuccessfully, to get her attention several times and even places his hand over hers on the counter in a moment of comfort, not that she notices. In this production Gabe does not put Diana's purse or bag of pills in front of his sister, starting her addiction. She finds them herself.
This production solved one of the problems I originally had with "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" in the Donmar production. In the original original New York run Gabe was played by Aaron Tveit as the very jock, athletic all American boy, which is in strict contrast to Natalie, the dorky anxious sister. At the end of the song Gabe joins Natalie singing, "she's not there," until his voice overpowers her and takes over the song as a vocal reminder that he's the favored child. Obviously, the Donmar production didn't do this because Gabe changed to soft boy energy. So Gabe joining the end of the song, singing at Natalie made less sense that the two are no longer in competition. THIS PRODUCTION instead had both Gabe and Natalie singing the end of "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" to Diana, which was completely brilliant. Diana curls up on the floor clutching her head as both turn their attention toward her. Natalie stands at the top of the stairs and Gabe stands on the counter, both looming over Diana on the floor (asking her why she is not present in their lives and almost accusing her for casting them in the roles of Super Boy and Invisible Girl.)
Gabe is also present in more moments than the original Donmar production. He lurks in the background of several more scenes that did not feature him at the Donmar. This is an excellent choice. He joins Diana during her therapy session when she is hypnotized. Diana makes the joke about turning the light on at the bottom of the stairs to Gabe, both of them being playful and sharing teasing glances because they doubt the success of the hypnosis. (Jokes on Gabe) As Diana falls further into hypnosis, Gabe becomes less visible on stage until he's completely eclipsed behind Dr. Madden and cannot be seen at all even though he's still on stage standing behind the doctor. Gabe tails Diana through the house like a sad puppy afterward when she goes upstairs and retrieves the "baby box."
Gabe did not "try" to make his mother commit suicide. He grabbed his backpack and a dufflebag and started to walk out the door until Diana sang, "I'd die to dance with you." She had already made up her mind to die before Gabe turns around and begins to sing "There's a World." He seemed to help her after she already made her choice. It was less coaxing her into suicide and more guiding her through it, reassuring her of the what came at the end and how he would be there with her.
Gabe watches while Dan cleans up Diana's suicide attempt. He shows up just in time for Dan to sing the lyric, "And there's no one around," disproving Dan's claim that he's all alone. Now, looking this up, it seems like Gabe is supposed to be in this scene, but I have NO MEMORY of Gabe at this part in the original Donmar production. That could just be my faulty memory though. This scene really strengthens their confrontation later in "I Am the One Reprise." I also have no memory of the "sonogram scene" at the Donmar though I distinctly remember reading about it and was actively watching for the moment when Gabe stood on the upper floor and the curtain dropped, casting him in silhouette reminiscent to a sonogram while Diana listens to the music box. So maybe I'm just not remembering correctly? Still, this scene was also excellent and haunting as Gabe hummed the music box melody. The humming was beautiful and it broke me.
At one point in this production, Gabe almost touches his father, but pulls away first. Gabe, desperate to be acknowledged, stands in front of Dan, who reaches forward to touch Diana. Gabe quickly retreats in fear, and throws himself out of the way to avoid touching his father.
I'm not particularly sure anything changed during "I Am the One Reprise," but it's my favorite scene of the entire show, so I'm gonna talk about it. Because hot damn. Before this moment Diana talks to Natalie and sings "Maybe" While they talk Dan and Gabe are sitting against opposite side of the counter. (Dan in the front on the far left hands clutching his head, Gabe behind the counter on the far right curled into a ball, arms wrapped around his knees, forehead on his knees) When Diana finally tells Natalie (and the audience) how her older brother died, Gabe perks up at the mention of his name. He slowly unfolds, sits up, and listens as if it is the first time he's heard it too. Then Diana sings "So Anyway," and leaves. Both men watch her go. (To my utter amusement, Gabe turns into a prairie dog standing up on his knees -- again, reminding me of my toddler who does the same thing in order to sit up and see better -- as Diana leaves.)
Dan stands and starts singing "I Am the One Reprise" to Diana. But Gabe stands and starts singing the reprise to Dan. Then he gets to, "I know you told her that I'm not worth a damn, But I know you know who I am." And then the music cue drops.
It's so powerful.
For the first time Gabe looks angry. Confrontational. He demands to be recognized by his father while Dan denies his presence and begs him to go away. In a stunning leap of athleticism, Gabe jumps on the counter and grabs Dan from the back. It's almost violent. Dan struggles but Gabe refuses to let go until Dan spins around they lock onto each other's forearms and sing the same verse. It's so emotionally charged. Both actors are cry and yell at each other as they sing.
Then Dan starts to pull away and Gabe desperately reaches out trying to hold him again, but unable to from his position on the counter. He continues to reach out despite Dan growing farther away. it's heartbreaking. Dan finally says Gabe's name and recognizes him. It's all Gabe has wanted from his father the entire show. Gabe is so happy in this moment. They look like they are going to continue talking, but Natalie comes in and asks her father, "It's just us?" Now, I remember the line being "It's just the two of us?" at the Donmar, but it's been a hot minute, so I could be wrong (again). But I like, "It's just the two of us?" better because it forces Dan to deny Gabe once again. Dan deliberately looks over at Gabe on the counter before agreeing with Natalie. And Gabe just... gives up. He got the 10 seconds of acknowledgement he wanted from his father. Dan said his name and Gabe's content with that much even though Dan denies him once again in front of Natalie.
Gabe slowly gets off the counter, touches Natalie's hand, though she's unaware, and walks upstairs like a sad little ascending angel who watches over his remaining family.
Other thoughts:
I may not have talked nearly as much about the rest of the cast, but they were all perfect. I loved everyone's voice. Dan was sooooo sympathetic and I love him more and more each time I see the show. Natalie's voice is gorgeous. Stunning. Diana is an unreliable narrator and I think the audience often forgets that.
There are so many props in this set, it must be a nightmare to restock for each show. The food Diana throws around making sandwiches is real, as is the disastrous dinner. (During Diana and Dan's argument they clean up and Diana just throws the dishware into the trash, not just the food, the pan and bowl too and it feels so in character.) Everything else just gets shoved into the sink, haha. The sink does have running water. The birthday cake seems like a prop though and Diana did her best to keep the candles lit while she raced around the stage looking for her dead son. From the balcony on my first viewing I had a really good view of the baby box and saw the exact moment the "blood" began to leak from it. It happened very quickly before the stage turned around, which made me think the it was remote controlled and not set on a release timer (though it probably could be. Every movement from everyone on stage is extremely coordinated even though they are not dancing.) Sitting closer to the stage, the box seemed to leak from all four corners -- I'm just a weirdo who likes knowing these production details.
The cast popping out of the fridge was way funnier during "Psychopharmacologist and I" because they opened the fridge was used it as an ordinary fridge during the opening song. So it was totally unexpected.
Only one person audibly reacted in the audience to Gabe's death reveal between the two shows I saw. Lol. Everyone else went in knowing.
Jesus christ, I have no idea how the actors wore long sleeves and pants on stage. I sat four rows back on the second viewing and I WAS HOT from the stage lights and I wasn't running around the stage like they were. They definitely were visibly sweating.
A friend pointed out that the cast were using American accents, which I didn't realize. For the most part they sounded fine, especially compared to the interviews where the cast use in their natural accents. The most shocking difference was Natalie's actress -- she had the best American accent compared to her strong irl accent. Dan's actor too! Both Jacks couldn't quite cover up their soft vowels so my American ear didn't realize they were using an American accent when I heard their natural ones so clearly.
There were several stage mishaps the second time I saw the production. The curtain that goes up and down on the upper levels of the stage knocked over the "I'm Alive" microphone stand when it when down, knocking the mic off. The mic popped off and bounced down the stairs and rolled off the back of the stage where production presumably grabbed it. The actors picked up the mic stand and put the mic back on it in the next scene. The same microphone stand fell down again when Gabe turned around and his red backpack knocked it over. He picked it up very quickly.
During my "Psychopharmacologist and I" one of Dan's pill bottles, being used as a shaker, exploded. The actor froze for a second, then kept going as the "pills" scattered across the stage. He just put his empty hand in the pocket of the medical coat and continued. When the song ended, a production manager came out, apologized, and said the stage needed to be reset. All the actors left as the stage was swept. The audience looked at their phones for 5 minutes and then the production started again.
Next to Normal was such a joy to see. Like, yes, I saw it because of Jack Wolfe and he was absolutely a highlight of it. But I was never bored without him on stage. Though I did think "So Anyway" was a bit too long, but that's my personal opinion and the effect of jet lag may have influenced that thought. All of the cast and their voices were incredibly talented and I'm glad to be familiar with the show now.
This is long enough, but if you have any questions about the production, please ask! I am happy to answer questions to help those who might be able to see it in person visualize what happened on stage.
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nellasbookplanet · 2 months
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Book recs: werewolves
Want your monsters a little hairier? Then this list is for you! Whether you prefer your werewolf books fantasy, horror, slice of life, or romance, this list has a something for everyone (especially if you want your werewolves queer!)
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For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
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Lobizona (Wolves of No World series) by Romina Garber
Young adult. As an undocumented immigrant, Manu has been told her existence is illegal. When her mother is arrested by ICE, Manu is left alone, and decides to seek out the only connection she has left: her dead father's criminal connections. Here she finds a secret underworld of Argentinian folklore, where a seventh daughter is a bruja and a seventh son is a lobizón - a werewolf. But as Manu understands more about who and what she is, she comes to realize her self is seen as forbidden in more ways than one, and that she will have to fight for her way to exist. Tackles heavy subjects in a more lighthearted magic school setting.
Empire of Wild by Cherie Dimaline
Horror. Nearly a year ago, Joan's husband Victor disappeared seemingly into thin air. That is, until Joan stumbles across a revival tent where the local Métis have gathered to listen to the charismatic preacher Eugene Wolff - a man with Victor's face. But when she faces him, he doesn't recognize her at all, claiming his mission is only to spread the word of Jesus. Only, that is far from all he's doing. Now Joan must find out the truth of what happened to her husband.
Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O'Neal*
Young adult. Priya had plans to go to Stanford, but is derailed when the fallout from lyme disease puts her back, making her question if she'll ever get back to normal. Luckily she has her discord support group with whom she can chat and vent about her illness. Even more - she has Brigid, online fandom friend and fellow chronic illness sufferer. But when Brigid disappears from the web without warning, Priya must drive to Pennsylvania to make sure her friend is okay - and finds that Brigid's condition is a bit hairier than she expected.
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Santa Olivia (Santa Olivia duology) by Jacqueline Carey*
Is this werewolf fiction? Technically not. It's sci-fi more than fantasy or horror, with a plot reminiscent of superhero stories. It follows Loup Garron, a young girl growing up in Santa Olivia, an isolated town by the border between the US and Mexico, where the inhabitants aren't allowed to leave. Loup is the daughter of a "Wolf Man", a soldier enhanced with wolven traits which she have now inherited, allowing her to take a stand against the soldiers keeping her small home town oppressed. Also features a main f/f couple!
A Wolf Steps in Blood by Tamara Jerée*
Novella, lesbian soulmate romance. Red wolves went extinct in Alabama long ago - except for the ancestors of Yasmine's family, who were saved by witches putting a spell on them, allowing them to take human form to hide. Now, that spell is growing weaker, and Yasmine is struggling for control with her wolf. When a chance encounter with the exiled blood witch Kalta reveals the two to be not only fated mates but also the possible answer to the pack's struggles, Yasmine and Kalta both must work together to overcome the grief in their hearts and save their families.
Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones
Horror. A coming-of-age story following a boy and his aunt Libby and uncle Darren, living on the road and staying outside the law. They're all outsiders, but Libby and Darren are mongrels, mixedbloods, werewolves waiting to see if their nephew is like them or not. The boy, meanwhile, must decide if the wandering life of his family is for him, or if he belongs somewhere else.
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How to Be a Werewolf by Shawn Lenore*
Graphic novel, available as printed or webcomic. Malaya was bitten by a wolf as a child, and ever since she has lived an isolated life with her family, working in their coffee shop and fearing she will lose control of her wolf side. Having never met another werewolf, Malaya knows little of what she is - until she meets a stranger claiming to be like her, and that she's far from alone. But the more she gets involved with other werewolves, the more she also gets dragged into the dangerous conflicts between packs.
Artie and the Wolf Moon by Olivia Stephens
Middle grade graphic novel. One night, young Artie witnesses something incredible - her own mother turning into a wolf. She finds out she's from a lineage of werewolves, and to help her awaken her abilities her mother invites family friends who are like them. A new world opens up for Artie, but so do dark secrets: werewolves have a deadly enemy, and it's coming back for them.
Bored Gay Werewolf by Tony Santorella
Brian is a slacker, having dropped out from college, working as a waiter, and spending his nights drinking with his friends - except the nights when he turns into a werewolf, of course. But after having slipped and killed a jogger, Brian is noticed by fellow werewolf Tyler, who's working on a self-help startup for werewolves and offers to mentor Brian. At first Tyler's methods helps Brian get back on his feet, but the more he learns of Tyler's expansion plans, the more he realizes he might be bad news. A good read if you want a funny, goofy take down of toxic masculinity that doesn't take itself very seriously.
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Such Sharp Teeth by Kim Harrison*
When her pregnant twin sister is left by her boyfriend, Rory decides to go back to her home town and stay with her for a time. But the town is also the home of old childhood trauma, and something wild is roaming the woods. When she gets attacked and mauled one night, Rory's successful life is changed forever. Lycanthropy used as a metaphor for female rage, trauma, and bad coping mechanisms.
What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo
Young adult horror. It's been years since Eleanor Zarrin last saw her family, having been sent away to boarding school when she was little. But after a bloody misstep, Eleanor must flee the school and return home to her family's manor. Here she's reminded of her family's darker side, and that she has never been able to run and hunt in the woods alongside them. But in a family of wolves Eleanor is something else - and even more dangerous.
Red Hood by Elana K. Arnold
Young adult horror. A take on the little red riding hood tale where the girl is both the victim of the wolf and the huntsman who slays it. After a particularly embarrassing incident, young Bisou flees into the woods, only to be faced with a predatory wolf. To her shock, their face-off ends with the wolf dead, not Bisou. Even more shocking: the dead wolf turns into a boy. Suddenly, Bisou finds herself a hunter and a protector, routing out the wolves who masquerade as boys. Visceral and bloody, but pretty feminism 101 in its portrayal.
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Fear the Wolf by Stefanie Gilmour
Urban fantasy. Alex never wanted to be a werewolf, but when a latent gene was triggered by a traumatic event, causing her to shift, she had no choice but to accept her new reality. Now she stays under the radar, avoiding other werewolves as she tries to keep a job and keep her temper under control, fearing that she will be discovered or even hurt someone. The only person outside her family who knows her secret is Emma, a wizard and Alex's closest friend. But when Emma gets a new boyfriend and starts acting strangely at the same time as attacks and disappearances of supernatural citizens are on the rise, Alex might have no other choice but to get involved in the local werewolf community to fight back.
Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn
Urban fantasy. Kitty Norville is a midnight radio host and a werewolf, having been turned after a traumatic attack. Stuck in an abusive pack, Kitty needs an outlet, and decides to use her radio midnight hour to speak about the supernatural. Soon others like her are calling in, seeking advice, and Kitty's life is looking up - but in drawing attention to the supernatural, she has also put a target on her back, and someone wants to make her shut up, no matter what.
No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull
When Laina's brother gets shot and killed, a video recording the incident reveals something shocking: a giant wolf which, when shot, turns into a naked man. The video gets leaked, and little by little monsters start coming out into the open. But there’s a reason monsters have decided to step put of hiding, something otherworldly and far more dangerous than them. Follows a large cast of characters, among them members of a werewolf pack.
Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool
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Rules for Werewolves by Kirk Lynn
A story told entirely in dialogue, Rules For Werewolves follows a group of young outsiders, drifting from place to place and squatting in empty suburban houses as they try to build a life in a world that has no room for them,
Howl by Shaun David Hutchinson
Young adult. New kid in town, Virgil Knox, has been attacked by a monster. Only, no one believes it was actually a monster, insisting it must've been a bear. But Virgil knows it was really a monster, and now he fears that it will come back for him - or that he will become one himself.
The Devourers by Indra Das
In Kolkata, India, college professor Alok encounters a mysterious stranger who tells him a story of a race of people at once man and beast, and a wanderer in 17th century Mughal who is torn between two worlds.
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Thor by Wayne Smith
Thor the German Shepherd is devoted to his suburban family, and when Uncle Ted comes to live with his family, that devotion is put to the test. For Ted is no longer human, and Thor can sense that there is something dark and dangerous hiding inside him, something which he must keep his family safe from.
Wild by Meghan O'Brien
Selene leads a lonely life, avoiding forming close relationships to keep herself and others safe as she turns into a remorseless wolf creature every full moon. Eve is a forensic pathologist who has sworn off romantic relationships after having had an ex cheat on her, focusing instead on catching murderers. But when a masked man attacks Eve and Selene comes to her rescue, the two become unavoidably intertwined as a monster even more dangerous than Selene stalks the streets.
Wolfsong by T.J. Klune
Ox Matheson's neighbors, the Bennett family, aren't ordinary people: they're shapeshifters, able to turn into wolves. Intrigued by their lifestyle, Ox becomes close to the youngest son, Joe. But when murder comes to town, Joe ends up leaving, and won't return until years later. Now adults, the feelings between them can't be denied any longer.
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teecupangel · 4 months
Note
Hey, what you think about Desmond in Teenwolf universe? Like him working there in bar and eventually help gang with supernatural problems(because well he can fight and doesn't want these teenagers die?)
Oh, man. I was into Teen Wolf years ago so let’s see what we can do with this one.
First of all, we’ll put Desmond in the gap between Season 1 and 2. Why?
Because he’s there to investigate the killings of Season 1. It’s a personal thing.
Well…
It’s connected to Ratonhnhaké:ton because his Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton makes him believe that there is something familiar with the way those people were killed by a ‘wild animal’.
He’s not sure if it’s related to a POE though but it’s worth investigating (we will also be moving the timeline of Teen Wolf so S1 happened in 2013 instead of 2011 and this is after Desmond saves the world from the Solar Flare)
The real reason why he’s there though is because he’s supposed to be hiding. After his attack on Abstergo’s Rome facility, Interpol has been on his tail so he needs to lay low for a bit.
We’re also placing him between S1 and S2 so there’s some time for him to integrate himself to the plot. Specifically, he’s working in the Jungle where the problematic teenagers would get themselves in trouble later when the hunt of the Kanima starts.
That’s also when he becomes entangled with the plot because he’s been researching about the ‘new’ killings happening all around Beacon Hills and, Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, there were a lot of reds calling themselves ‘hunters’.
Desmond has a feeling that something more was going on.
In this one, Desmond actually spots the teenagers as they enter Jungle because he’s been a bartender long enough to spot problems (and Jungle doesn’t want problem, especially since being a gay club means they’re not unused to some… annoying flies) so he pats the other person working the bar with him, which is a silent signal that he was going to switch to being the teenage bouncer and give their actual bouncer another scolding (seriously, he doesn’t care if sweet boy Danny is planning to graduate early or whatever, he’s still in highschool)
Then he feels it.
Something about these teenagers that alerts him. A ghost of a Bleed from Ratonhnhaké:ton…
And then the Kamina attacks and all hell breaks loose.
Unorganized Notes:
Would absolutely push himself into Derek’s little pack because he sees the cool front that Derek is showing and calls bullshit on it. He doesn’t know they’re werewolves yet but he knows something is up and Derek’s pack has information. Caring for the pack later on was not the plan.
He sees Erica, Boyd and Isaac as recruits in need of care. Derek is annoyed with him though because he keeps butting in to tell him to be nicer or to explain it more and- Desmond has no idea what a Stiles is but he’s probably being insulted, the asshole.
He does learn what a Stiles is because Stiles annoyed him by visiting the club repeatedly. The Drag Queens love him and has adopted him and has band together to stop Desmond from throwing his underage ass out.
Stiles is the one who spills the whole werewolf hunter thing because he thought Desmond’s strange mannerism (“It reminds me of my dad but like… more spec ops?” “You play too many video games, squirt.”) might mean he’s a hunter.
Oh and Stiles being in the club a lot? Yeah. Sheriff Stilinski gets into this whole mess because he’s sus of Desmond. It doesn’t help that Desmond has been teaching Stiles a few tips of how to fight (“Why… why do you know that you should kick off the tail lights of a car if you’re inside the trunk?” “My dad’s a cop, dude. I know how to shoot too. Wanna see?” “With your flailing limbs? Nah, I’m good”)
Desmond is an annoying older brother to both Derek and Stiles. The pack loves him for it.
Scott thinks he’s cool too but he’s a bit wary of him since he’s close to Derek. He’s also worried that he’s being used to pull Stiles to Derek’s pack.
But that’s not really Desmond’s problem at the moment because the Bleed of Ratonhnhaké:ton he’s been ‘feeling’?
That’s because Ratonhnhaké:ton has confronted werewolf hunters before. To be more exact, the Argents during his time in France. Arno Dorian is actually the one who got the wrath of the Argents but that extends to the Brotherhood in general.
The Argents are not Templars but they definitely don’t like the Brotherhood. And Gerard Argent? He has a feeling an Assassin is snooping around their hunting ground. It’s only a matter of time before he finds the rat.
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treedaddymcpuffpuff · 5 months
Text
Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven
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TW: NSFW, bondage, uncomfy situations
The next time you see Dr. Julian, (which isn’t at the jail, because you fucking tried to go bail him out and they just looked at you like you were crazy when you kept insisting Dr. Julian Mercer had to be in there) he has a red mark around his neck, a black eye, and a bump on his temple that’s almost the size of a chicken egg. 
“Jesus fucking Christ!” you hiss, rushing over to him. He takes your elbow and ducks the two of you into a supply closet. You think he just wants to have a private conversation, until he backs you into the shelves with a tonsil-inspecting, toe-curling kiss, his big hands digging into your waist. You grab fistfuls of his lab coat, you are so surprised it doesn’t even occur to you to fight him. When he finally pulls back you are breathless—and in shock. 
He seems to find this adorable, reaching up to caress your face. “Now all that was worth it,” he says cheekily.
You blink up at him, stupid as a lamb. “Did he hurt you?” you demand, trying to inspect the mark around his neck. 
“We reached an understanding,” Julian assures you with a dark look, taking your hands in his own. 
“But—“
“Don’t worry about it, y/n. Really.” It comes out like an order, and you don’t really like it when he talks to you that way, but you guess you understand that he doesn’t want to talk about Ludlow anymore.
“Ok.”
You are so going to worry about it. You also know there’s no way in hell that he’s going to want to see you anymore.
He looks down at you with that soft expression that warms your insides. “When’s your next day off?” 
You blink again. “Friday?”
“Can I make you dinner?”
“You want…to cook for me?”
“At my place. Around seven. I’ll text you the address.”
You’re still not sure if that was a request or an order, but you’re so dumbfounded that it doesn’t even occur to you to offer an opinion.
“But what about…?”
“I’m not scared of him, y/n.” The marks on his face indicate that maybe he should be, but the set of this man’s jaw indicates that maybe Ludlow has met his match. 
“I’m really sorry. About all of this.”
“I already told you, it’s not your fault.” There’s a flinty note in his voice, and you can tell he just wants you to drop it. Inwardly you flinch a little, but you nod. 
***
You suppose because he’s banned from being treated by you at the hospital, pulling you over in the dead of night after your shift becomes his go-to game. Maybe you should have started taking a different route home, but the highway was the fastest (and usually safest) way to go, and the thought of changing your personal day-to-day just for this asshole makes you see red. You refuse, and so you keep getting pulled over, four more times for weaker and weaker excuses. Not signaling when changing lanes. Using your phone (you weren’t). An obstruction to vision hanging from your rearview. And the cherry on top—too dim fucking blinkers? 
He even has the gall to check up on you, going so far as to inspect your wrists one evening, and turning your head from side to side with an authoritative finger hooked under your chin. “What do you think you’re doing?” you demand. 
“Just making sure Dr. Bitch is behaving himself.”
“That is none of your business.” 
“If he hurts you I’ll make it my business.” He just says it so casually. Water is wet, the sun is hot, and Tom Ludlow will fuck up Dr. Mercer’s day if he hurts you, even with consensual rough play. No one has ever stuck their neck out for you like that, and it is not helpful, what this misplaced concern does to your insides. This guy is 300% Pure Asshole. You should not be warming to him. 
Truth be told, you are nervous about your date with Julian tomorrow night. Maybe he’s being sweet and cooking for you—but it will also be on his home turf, like meeting a wolf in his den. You don’t really think Julian would hurt you. In fact, the thought seems absurd. But then again…people never cease to surprise you. You see the result of mankind’s insatiable bloodthirst every day at work. 
Despite your completely misplaced feelings for Officer Tom Ludlow, the fact stands that he is absolutely harassing you, and what he did to Julian outside the coffee shop was totally unacceptable. Maybe you don’t have any money to sue the LAPD like Julian does, but you’re not totally without a voice. The next morning you find yourself going downtown to the Police Headquarters to file a complaint. 
The place is bustling, filled with uniforms and plainclothes and people from every walk of life. It reminds you of the hospital in a way, and a wisp of a thought occurs to you that it’s interesting that you and Officer Ludlow engage in the two professions that truly hold together the fabric of society. Politicians like to think what they do is important, but the two of you do the real dirty work to help people survive through their day to day. There could have been something to that between you—if he wasn’t such a fucking creeper in his off hours. 
You follow the signs and the directions from various people behind desks to the Complaints Department. It’s a cordoned off area enclosed by glass. With your hand on the door handle you see who is sitting there behind a cheap mdf wood desk, looking unfairly handsome in his black beat uniform.
You freeze. 
How the fuck is he everywhere at once? It dawns on you that if he’s working his shift here during the day—he’s fucking with you on his own time at night. It simultaneously creeps you out and thrills you to your toes, and you know you are one sick puppy. 
You know you don’t have the guts to march in there and face him, so you decide to bounce. Of course, not before he turns his head at just the right moment. It’s like this man has a radar for your very presence, and your eyes meet through the glass. 
He knows exactly why you’re here, of course, and he smirks at you as though to say, ‘Tell me all about it.’ 
Bastard. 
You turn on your heel, and pray he doesn’t follow you. 
***
Later that night, you find yourself seated at the island with a glass of white wine in Dr. Mercer’s Spanish Revival style home in Santa Monica, watching him cook for you. He’s utterly edible, in a pressed light blue button down and khakis that should look dorky but somehow he just makes them look GQ worthy. He’s even worn a tie for you. He’s also wearing an apron, and it’s not so corny as to say Kiss The Cook but you did anyway first thing upon walking through the door. You’d asked if you could help with the meal, and he’d declined with a gracious smile. 
Now, you’re pretty sure he parked you here so you could get a view of his tight little rear end as he works at the stove. 
You take another big sip of wine. It’s really not fair in the least. 
He serves up chicken piccata with fresh vegetables out on the patio, complete with candlelight. The warm night breeze is like the breath of angels, and it’s possibly the most romantic dinner anyone has ever treated you to, and it makes you almost uncomfortable inside, how nice all this is. You know he’d said that he liked you, and he didn’t want a perfect girlfriend…but you can’t help but feel like an imposter here. 
There were no candlelit dinners with homemade Italian food and fine wine back in Kansas. There were bonfires in someone’s daddy’s back farm field, copious amounts of beer, and you were lucky if you didn’t get knocked up on the bench seat of someone’s rusty old pickup truck before the night was out. Yee fuckin’ haw.
“You alright?” he asks, reaching across the table to touch your hand. 
You realize that you have zoned out, while he was talking, again. 
“Fine,” you answer quickly, bolstering yourself with another sip of wine. You’re on your second glass now—you should probably slow down, but it’s so good. “I was just thinking…about how nice, all this is. Thank you, Julian. You’re so sweet.” 
He smiles at you from across the table, a winsome and heart-squeezing curl of lips, and he’s so handsome even with the now healing black eye. 
“I’m maybe sensing some anxiety stemming from Imposter Syndrome,” he says gently. 
“Is that your official diagnosis, Doctor?”
You can tell he likes it when you talk this way to him, even outside of the hospital. You can see it in the sparkle of his lovely mocha-brown eyes.  “Something like that.” He leans in towards you, his elbows on the little bistro-style table, pinning you with that acute stare. “I don’t know what happened to you, where you came from, y/n. Maybe you’ll trust me enough to tell me later. But I do know that it’s in the past, and it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something nice for yourself now. Does that make sense?”
It hits way too close to home, and with a sigh you lean back in your chair, unable to meet his eyes again. 
“It sounds so easy, when you put it that way.”
He tilts his head as he examines you, and you’re afraid that attentive stare misses nothing. “I could make it easy, for you,” he offers quietly. Something about that soft but oh-so-sure tone lifts every little fine hair on your body, a wave of gooseflesh erupting across your skin. You feel like a rabbit flicking its ears at the sound of danger, not quite sure which direction it’s coming from. 
“What do you mean?” you dare ask. 
“It’s part of the appeal of submission for some people, to hand over complete control to someone you trust, to let them make you feel good. It can be an almost…therapeutic release. I think I could do that for you.” 
Your heart chooses that moment to lodge itself in your throat, and it takes an embarrassingly long few seconds for you to find your voice again. As usual when you feel wildly uncomfortable, you opt for humor.  “Wow, do you subscribe this to your patients often?”
He chuckles, and it is dark and rich as bitter chocolate. “No, though maybe I should.”
You can’t help but notice you haven’t even made it through the main course, before he is bringing this up again. It must be something he really wants from you—and a part of you still finds that so hard to believe. He’d said your defiance on that patient’s discharge triggered this need in him. You wonder if there are other things about you, that has made him zero you out. It’s happened to you before. Narcissists just seem to sniff you out like they’re fucking bloodhounds. 
Is Julian like that, underneath all the good looks, the pleasantness, the charm?
Does he think you’d be easy to control? Or does he want a challenge because your dumb ass is stubborn as a mule? 
Does he know that if things go badly, you have no one here to offer recourse?
Unless, of course, you count Officer Tom Ludlow, but dear lord that is not the backup plan you want to rely on. 
“Well…I’m still thinking about all that,” you deflect, throwing your attention into coiling pasta around your fork, trying not to appear like a complete philistine.   
He has the grace not to appear disappointed, though there is a certain sharpness in his look now, and you have a feeling Dr. Mercer is not used to not getting his way, eventually. 
***
Julian does let you help with the dishes, and pours you yet another glass of wine. “Digestivo,” he says with a perfect accent and a little smile to himself. He explains it’s the word for the “after dinner drink” in Italy. Apparently it’s usually a liquor, but it seems he doesn’t want you that drunk. 
At least, not yet.
He asks if you want to watch a movie or listen to some music? You agree, ask him to pick something out, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. When you return he is stretched out on the couch, looking utterly handsome, and you find yourself just staring while his head is turned towards the massive TV.
“I know you’re there,” he finally says with a little smile, turning to look at you knowingly. Cautiously you approach, glad for some reason that the tall back of the leather couch is between you. Perhaps the soft little woodland creature that will forever live inside you senses the wolf nearby, even if it’s wearing Brooks Brothers. 
“Sorry,” you say apologetically, soft-pawing further into the room. You dare to lean on the back of the couch to look down at him, not quite ready to join him on his level. He seems to understand all too well, and is completely amused by it.
“That’s ok. I can’t keep my eyes off you either. You’re so beautiful.”
You let out a long breath through your nose, never comfortable with what to say to it. You’d been assured by so many people in your early life, that you were in fact an ugly little toad worth less than nothing. Later, those that told you that you were pretty, hurt you in different ways. You wish you could just…take it at face value, and say thanks, without overanalyzing it six hundred ways from Sunday.
“You don’t think so?” He asks, looking up at you with curious eyes. Since you walked through his door tonight, you’ve felt like he’s been studying you, and you sincerely hope it’s not to find your weaknesses and exploit them but rather understand them. 
It would be so nice to be understood by a man like Julian, even if he is chaining you to a wall and whipping you while doing it. The thought makes you giggle, and this seems to perplex and amuse him. 
“Well?” He asks, reaching up to boldly smooth your cheekbone. “You don’t think you’re beautiful?” 
You try to blame your honesty on the wine when you answer truthfully: “not really.” 
Most men don’t want to hear about insecurities and flaws; they want self actualized, confident women who carry themselves in a way you’ll never be able to. It's hard to have self esteem, especially when you’ve spent the majority of your life getting told you shouldn’t have any. 
“Hmm.” His thumb rests lightly on your chin, and he parts your mouth a little like he means to kiss you, although he makes no actual move to do so. “That’s another thing I could help you with.”
You're a little lost in the white capped crash of your thoughts, of the pleasant heat in his long, skilled fingers, of the endless dark in his blown black eyes. It takes you a full thirty seconds to think about the conversation, and even then you have to stupidly ask: “what?” 
“Feeling beautiful, because you are.” Maybe you don’t mind the bossy, matter of fact tone as much when it’s demanding that you’re worthy and pretty. 
“Are you going to kiss me again?” You ask, because you can’t stop thinking about how good his mouth feels on your face. 
“Ask me nicely.” That big thumb runs a torturous line over your parted bottom lip.
“You ask me,” you challenge, giggling at your own insolence. 
Oh, he loves that, when you push back. The wicked, lazy grin says it all. “How about I make you?”
You press your tummy against the soft, worn leather of his couch to lift yourself up and over, cupping his cheeks and pecking a little kiss to his silky lips. “I’d like to see you try.”
Apparently this is the absolute wrong thing—or absolute right thing—to say to this man, to make him spring up and over the couch, lithe as a panther in his pursuit of you, a feral grin in place. You are not proud, but your first instinct is to bolt, a little scream escaping your lips.
Which is stupid, of course, because he has the body of a runner and legs that are a mile long. You have no idea where you are going, down a convenient hallway. You make it three steps before this man has you grabbed up in his long arms, and he is kissing you as though he means to inhale you. He presses you into the wall, his solid weight so delicious against you, and you know there is no escape unless he decides to let you go.
Somehow, you don’t forsee that happening any time soon. 
You surge up on tiptoe to meet him with a moan, your hands sliding over the trim muscles of his chest. He easily grasps both your wrists in his one, obscenely big paw, pinning them above your head.
He pulls back to assess what you think about this, his dark eyes blown wide with desire. You can barely breathe past your heart thundering in your chest, your thighs pressed tightly in a sad attempt to relieve some of the ache between them. You lips are kiss-swollen and moist with his saliva, and you lick them, tasting him. His gaze fixes on your mouth hungrily, before lifting to your eyes again.
When you give the barest nod, he leans in to kiss you again, slower this time, but no less claiming. His lips are soft, and clever, and wreak havoc with your ability to think coherently. And when he slips his lean thigh between your legs so that you might get some relief, you think you might just expire from the pent up desire threatening to burst you at your seams.
It’s not good, you know, when you can’t help but think about Detective Tom Ludlow, and how part of this aching madness in your loins is built up from his brash brand of torture, and you can’t help but imagine what it might be like to feel his rough hands pinning you to the wall like a butterfly. Maybe it’s just the wine, but these distracted thoughts are not good at all.
Julian half carries you, half guides you in a halting walk further down the hallway, opening a door and ushering you inside. It’s a bedroom, though if its his room, you can’t really tell at a glance. It’s nicely decorated, fairly normal, no chains hanging from the ceilings or racks on the walls, and the bed is soft as he presses you back into it with another bone-melting kiss.
He props himself on his elbows so he can look down at you with a mischievous warm smile that lights up your insides. “You really are beautiful,” he tells you gently, tracing your hairline at your temple.
God. If he keeps telling you like this, maybe you will start believing him. 
You tug on his tie to bring him back to you, craving another of his sweet kisses. He narrows his eyes at you playfully, and you watch with fascination as he reaches up to loosen the silk noose around his neck. 
“Wait.” You halt him, hand on his chest, and he stops the little show. 
“What? You okay?” It doesn’t occur to you that this man is just as needy as you are until you hear the heavy pant in his voice, the gravelly scratch of desire polluting his usual smooth pitch that reminds you way too much of someone else that you’re trying not to think about—and failing miserably at. 
“I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that,” you say honestly, opening up raw in exchange for the concern on his pretty, angled face. 
“Being tied up?” He asks, smoothing your hair off your temple. 
“No, I’ve been tied up before.” Although that’s a story for a different day, it’s not like you’re the Virgin Mary, and you don’t want to be—you don’t want him to think that you are—a prude. 
“Was it…a bad experience for you?” As he asks this he strokes your hair, petting you like soothing an animal with his light touch.
You hate to say, it’s working.
“Kind of.”
“Maybe…they didn’t stop something you didn’t like when you asked them to?”
That was the understatement of the century.
You close your eyes against the sinking feeling that overcomes you, when you even slightly crack the lockbox that is your stockpile of unpleasant memories from your youth.
“No,” you answer simply, but you know he can hear it all in the roughness of your voice in that one small word.
“What if we have a safeword? If I do anything you don’t like, you say the word, and I promise you I will stop.”
You freeze like a rabbit that's been spotted by a predator, as you mull this over. You know that’s how these things are supposed to go. But once a man has you tied up and at his mercy…he can do anything he wants with you. And men can be so awful, when they feel like they have all the power in their hands.
Is this man awful? It certainly doesn’t seem so. But dear god, you have been so wrong before.
“Maybe….” You roll your eyes up to the ceiling, searching for the right words, determined, for once, not to hide your own needs in favor of someone else’s. “Maybe if you help me understand why this is something you need so much?”
You know it’s possible you’re killing the vibe with such a demand—but maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to slow down and talk.
He blinks down at you, undoubtedly not used to being inquisitioned like this by anyone. “That’s…a big question.”
A surge of annoyance rises in you—as if dating isn’t dangerous enough for women as it is—he’s literally asking you to trust him with your life.
“Oh my god. Ok, get off.” You start to squirm beneath him, pushing at his chest. For a moment you panic, because he is big, and you know he’s not going anywhere, unless he wants to.
To his credit, and your great surprise–he actually does. He seems disappointed, and his breathing is heavy, his beautiful hair disheveled, but he’s not angry. At least, as far as you can tell. He shoves his hands in his pockets, maybe to keep them off of you.
It is hard not to stare at the sizeable bulge in his preppy khakis.
He blows a long breath out of his nostrils, closing his eyes. “I like to be in charge,” he tells you quietly, not opening his eyes, “Because when I was far too young, my stepmother groomed me to be her pretty plaything. I thought I was getting revenge on my father, because I was angry at him for divorcing my mother. But the joke was on me. I did…anything she asked, and she asked a lot. I didn’t even realize how fucked up it was, until I went away to college. When she sensed she was losing her hold on me, she actually tried to get me to drop out, then she tried to get me expelled. She was a fucking piece of work, and that’s why I am the way I am.” 
When at last he works up the courage to look at you, he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed in your pretty dress like a rumpled flower, with tears in your eyes for him. “I’m so sorry, Julian…” You reach for him, even though you’re unsure he even wants to be held.
“And I like to bind my partners’ hands, because sometimes being touched during what should be the most wonderful act a man can enjoy reminds me of her, and I can’t stand it. Even…when I’m with someone who I want to touch me.” He gives you a pointed look then, and you understand, and you don’t think he’s trying to manipulate you. He’s just telling you an ugly truth.
Now, it seems you’re both agitated, and what had promised to be a lovely evening is now spiraling down into the abyss. You can’t help but feel responsible for that.
Julian shakes himself, and shakes his head. You feel him drawing away from you, even before he’s moved his feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I promise, I don’t want to hurt you.” 
Then he does start to retreat, but you reach out to him. “Julian, wait…”
He freezes in his tracks, looking up at you through the curtain of his silky hair.
“Pineapple.” 
He lifts an eyebrow, genuinely confused. “Excuse me?”
“That’s my safe word.”
To be honest, you’re not entirely sure if you’re doing this because you want to, or because as usual, you sense someone needs a part of you for their own wellbeing, more than you think you do.
His mouth twists in a smile seemingly involuntarily. “I suppose that isn’t something one usually hears in the throes of passion.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
“Yes.” His look sharpens upon you then, and you feel a fresh gush of moisture between your legs, your bare toes curling. Suddenly, he seems taller, somehow, as though he’s taking up more space in the room than before. “Are you sure about this, y/n?”
Not really, but this won’t be the first time you jump in head first to something you don’t know if you can handle. “Yeah. I believe you, when you say you won’t hurt me.”
Maybe you’re not sure exactly where the whole punishment thing fits in he was talking about earlier, but you assume you’ll get to that later.
He nods, his nostrils flaring as he looks you over again. You watch as his chest rises and falls with deep breaths. And then he returns to loosening that shining blue silk tie from his neck, sliding the fine fabric between his long fingers. “I picked this color tonight because I thought it would look so pretty on you,” he admits. 
“How…thoughtful?” You can’t help but tease him, even if your heart is suddenly hammering in your chest.
“Hmm. Someone always has something smart to say.” He strides across the room to you, boldly standing between your legs at the edge of the bed. 
“I think you like it?” You can’t help the squeak in your voice, and it makes him smirk down at you. It’s unnervingly similar to someone else who likes to throw around an insouciant half smile, and your fingers curl in the bedspread by your thighs.
Do not think about Tom right now.
It’s too late, of course.
“Give me your hands.” There is that authoritative tone again, that makes everyone at the hospital and out in the real world stand at attention. Everyone, but Tom Ludlow, of course. Unbidden, the image of Tom’s fist making that irreverent gesture out the window enters your head—and like the idiot you are, you smile.
It causes Julian to look at you strangely, searching you out. “What’s so funny?”
You sigh, closing your eyes against that probing stare. “I don’t know,” you deflect, master of the witty riposte as always. Hoping to distract him, you offer up your wrists. “Like this?” you ask, and golly if your ploy doesn’t work.
“That’s my good girl.” A damning warmth spreads through you from his praise, and you watch with fascination as he loops your wrists with the blue silk, tying it off with a beautiful bow that does look pretty against your skin. “We’ll start with this,” he tells you. “If you really want, you can undo it with your teeth.”
Biting your lip, you nod up at him, appreciating the gesture. 
“Tell me the safeword?” He asks, lifting your hands up above your head, looking absolutely feral, ready to eat you alive. 
“Pineapple,” you tell him, flexing your hands above your head and pushing your tits out for him. God, it’s been forever since you’ve had anything inside you besides your own boring fingers, and you’re more than ready for him to take the straining bulge out of his pants and slip it into your perpetually aching cunt. 
“Keep your hands above your head for me?” You can tell by his tone that it’s more of a demand than an ask, but at least he's trying to be sweet despite wrestling internally with some beast that wants to bind you immobile and shove a gag in your mouth. 
Every hair stands on end at just the thrill of having his silky, non committed tie around your wrists, so you wonder how you’d fair in something stricter. Apparently, your vagina likes the theory of it, because she pulses insistently for some kind of attention—Jesus, any kind of attention that’s not just from you.
You and her may argue sometimes—much more now that Ludlow has kicked the imaginary door of your life down and stormed in for a raid—but you still share the same brain, and both of you agree that Julian is very fucking hot while he takes off his upper attire to reveal toned, tight, thin muscle and perfect golden skin. 
“Is there, um, anything you want me to call you?” You ask, little toes curling and flexing on his comforter. 
“You want to properly address me?” His teeth peek out of the wayward grin, hands slipping the belt out of his pants and filling you with Tom thoughts again. 
“Yeah, I do.”
“How about Doctor? Something familiar?”
“Something tells me you’ve thought of this scenario before,” you muse, toying with the wrought iron post of his bed. You have to admit, Doctor isn’t your favorite term of endearment, but you suppose that if it makes him fuck you sooner it doesn’t really matter. 
Sans pants, his cock tents and fills his briefs, and that tiny creature living inside you comes out of her burrow to remind you that she’s very, very hungry. He really is a gorgeous specimen of a man. You could probably find his mimic in a museum statue or erotic magazine with only one huge, girthy difference. 
How the fuck is that monster not going to hurt you after years of only having your own little fingers for comparison? 
“Jesus,” you breathe, unaware that you say it out loud at first. 
He pumps his hand once or twice over the silk coated shaft, showing off that big, beautiful cock and rubbing a bead of pearly cum over the tip. “Hands above your head, y/n, and don’t make me say it a third time.” 
You bite your lip hard to keep from groaning in protest and place those conniving, sneaky limbs up above you again. “Yes, Doctor.” It would sound strange to you if you had any common sense right now—if your brain wasn’t currently leaking out of your cunt. 
A little piece of you—actually and worryingly it’s more than just a little piece—wants to challenge him to see exactly what he’ll do. 
“Do you want me to tell you what I wanted to do to you when you disobeyed my orders?” 
“Spank me?” You ask, words too bold for how you’re feeling—how your whole body is overflowing with burning, bashful blood and sinking into the cushion of his bed to hide. 
He laughs, low and wicked, and shakes his head. At least you get a little needy grumble from him, although you’re not sure if that’s because he’s stroking his cock or not. “No, not spank you. I think you’d enjoy that too much.”
“Then what?” You raise your chin a little bit, and the look he pins you with reminds you of what wild horses must see in the person’s eyes that wants to ride and break and domesticate them. A little panic alarm lights up your brain, and it gets louder the more he talks. 
“Instead of rubbing these tired, sore feet, I would have gotten a thin piece of finished wood and whipped them with it.” 
Your toes instantly curl and tuck in defense, heels digging into the bed to shy away from his mean words. “I don’t know if I’d like that,” you admit.
“That’s the point of a punishment, little girl. You’re not supposed to like it.” Julian transforms into something scary for the first time, and you think this might be that dominant side of him coming to bat again. You don’t really like it when he’s all business no play, void of jokes and grins, snarling like a rabid jaguar. 
“Julian, I don’t think I’m comfortable with that. It scares me.” 
His ferocity goes limp right along with his dick, and the sight of that makes you want to scream and cry and pound your fists on the floor like a tantrum throwing child. Your vagina, who was just minutes ago getting along with you, once again wants you dead. 
Dr. Jekyll sits beside you on the bed and puts a soothing, heating pad hand on your belly. “I’m sorry, are you alright? I shouldn’t have gone into that so fast. I got carried away. It’s been a while.” 
Although his apology is warranted, and what he says is true about going too far, that caretaker in your blood wants nothing more than to soothe him while he has a mini existential crisis about making you feel uncomfortable. You sit up and rub his shoulders with bound hands. 
“Julian, it’s okay. I get it. I’m sorry.” 
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for,” he replies, combing a hand through his soft hair. “We should have discussed details before jumping in. I just”—he cups your cheek and kisses your head—“I’ve wanted you for a long time.” 
The thought of having to go through a detailed discussion before having sex with your partner every time has the opposite effect of Tom Ludlow’s—fuck, here he is again—spontaneity and makes your pussy dry up. 
As though he senses you’re about to take your teeth to his very nice silk tie, he turns to unbind your hands with one deft pull. You feel fine, but you can’t stop yourself from rubbing your wrists. You sit there in the quiet together for what feels like a long time, your head resting lightly on his shoulder.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?” He takes your hand, kissing your palm. “That thing I told you? It’s not something I offer up freely to anyone. Not even my playmates.”
You nod against him. “I understand.”
“I just…wanted you to know me.”
The human need to lay yourself bare in the hopes of acceptance is something you understand all too well—and something you never do anymore, because it just always ends badly. That he wanted you that much squeezes your heart in a merciless fist, because the healer in you wants to help him, but you’re not sure you can give this man what he really needs.
“Did you…want me before I talked back to you?” Suddenly the question is burning in your brain and you have to know.
Julian smirks at that. “You’ve always talked back to me, y/n.” With that he kisses your forehead, and starts to get dressed again. 
What a goddamned shame.
It’s totally not helpful, but you can’t stop yourself from thinking that if Tom had you in this position tonight, you wouldn’t be able to walk right, and not because you’d said the wrong thing and got yourself punished with a sliver of wood or whatever the fuck Julian kept in his closet.
You wouldn’t be going home feeling even emptier than when you arrived.
Maybe, you wouldn’t be going home at all.
Julian asks you to stay with him a while longer to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie—some cheap new thriller that makes you both jump and gasp. It’s sort of funny, to watch the man that was just spouting off his desire to use ancient torture methods on you get scared at a guy with a shiny knife popping out of bushes. 
At one point, while you’re laying on his bare chest and inhaling the citrusy sweat of his skin and becoming increasingly warm to the idea of giving his discarded silky tie another try, you start tracing your fingers down the hard line of his stomach, flicking over the elastic of his thin sweatpants. 
He stalls your movement, and looks down at you apologetically. “Not tonight, honey.” 
You know he was just fiending for your bound form with his dick in his hand, so you’re not sure why he’s stopping you, but your woe-is-me brain immediately, and as usual, jumps to the conclusion that he never wanted you in the first place. 
You will not be the giving tree anymore. You will not be the obsessed, lovesick girl willing to do anything just to get that same love back. You won’t—you can’t—do it again. 
“It’s late,” you sigh, sitting up. You’ve long sobered from dinner, and you’re tired, and you kind of want to be alone so you can go home and cry. “Thank you for dinner.” You’re not so sure about the rest, and in the rueful curl of Julian’s lips you can tell he’s well aware how disappointing all this was. For both of you, you suppose. He kisses you goodnight at the door, and you get in your car to drive home.
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