#Platonic partnerships

[starfish-spencer]

Jules and Lassie's friendship has me feeling soft y'all. Shawn and Gus have their own traditions and inside jokes and I bet that Jules and Lassie start to develop the same things. They go out to eat together and have movie nights at each other's places every week. Jules lets Lassie infodump about US history and guns as long as he wants and Lassie (begrudgingly) lets Jules paint his nails. They chat about all the latest gossip in the SBPD and gush over their crushes together. They tell each other (almost) all their secrets. Lassie stays with Jules 24/7 after the clock tower and comforts her when she and Shawn temporarily break up. Jules is one of the only people to see Lassie truly break down and cry and she holds him for as long as he needs and tells him that they're going to be okay. They have their own jokes that nobody else gets that they whisper to each other and giggle at. They laugh until neither of them can breathe. They hug each other every morning when they arrive at the station and when they leave, and casually hold hands. They started out as just coworkers but by the last few seasons they are basically platonic soulmates, parallel to Shawn and Gus. And I love that. I love them.

[kiwimuichiro]

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Now that Buddy Daddies is finished, I’m gonna say it: SPOILERS!

Buddy Daddies really is for the aces, aros, queerplatonic partners, and platonic life partners out there. 

I know, 100%  that there are going to be some people out there that are going to say, “See! It really was just queerbait all along” or some who are going to bemoan the fact that there were no declarations of romantic love or kiss or whatever. I’m sure this part right here:

Miri: “Didn’t you slip out yesterday to go drinking with a girl again?” 

Caused some frowns and I do get it. Because of this, the queerbait and Kazuki and Rei are just friends dialogue will continue and follow the series around. But, this episode has made it clear that Kazuki and Rei love not only Miri, but each other as well.

They are a work partners (相棒 - aibou)

They are partners raising a child together. (相方 - aikata).

They’ve moved (I’m pretty sure their diner is in Okinawa for reasons I’ll get to in another post), they’ve opened a business together, one which has a part of Kazuki’s last name in it (来栖 - Kurusu is his last name, the 栖 (su) part of his name means “nest.”), and Rei’s words to his father: Miri, Kazuki, and I share a bond stronger than blood. 

They are a family. They love each other.

Of course, friends can be a part of a family. Friends can love each other, but there are also reasons why people who are in situations like co-parenting, queerplatonic relationships, platonic life partnerships, and etc. don’t refer to their bonds as friendships and the people they are co-parenting or in a partnership with as their friends, but as words that give some space for those grey areas in-between.

Friendships are strong, deep, and beautiful. Platonic love is love and is powerful.

But, there are definitely still different sets of expectations and boundaries that come with friendships vs. other relationship dynamics. 

Kazuki and Rei’s situation falls outside of the usual friendship expectations and boundaries and sits somewhere between that, family and partnership.

I know this topic has been talked to death about. But, I felt like I needed to write about and address it one final time since Buddy Daddies has come to an end (though, who knows about a potential Daughter Daddies!) Especially after Miri’s line to Kazuki. (I feel I could also go into open relationship dynamics, polyamorous relationships, and etc. but that feels like it would be derailing). 

Basically, I just wanted to get one final post out on this. I was very pleased with this ending episode. It made my heart so happy and warm, and I know I’ve said it before, but this series really speaks to me as someone who is aroace. Aroace characters and our relationship dynamics have basically no rep, so even if this series wasn’t intended to be written with a queerplatonic relationship dynamic in mind, they ended up writing a beautiful depiction of one that makes me and what I would want from a relationship of some kind, finally feel seen.

[ambeauty]

Ok let’s discuss partnership agreements for a quick second. I own a business and I have a partner. It’s common and it’s necessary to have a partnership agreements. It’s going to list the official profit share, how much time each partner is going to commit, what skill each partner brings to the business, and what factors are in place in case one partner wants to leave or dissolve the business. This is a very basic overview of a partnership agreement. Sydney needs this. It will legitimize her position as partner in the Bear. So Carmen extending this agreement to her is significant. He can’t necessarily force her not to leave but they have to have a protocol in place in case she wants to. It could get sticky but not if they follow the agreement. Unless she doesn’t sign it…

What’s strange to me is him saying “So I can push you and you can push me.” This makes me think he knows that he’s going to get toxic and he doesn’t want her to just walk out like she did in review. It’s like saying “for better or worse.” And also tell me when I’m fucking up because I don’t want you to leave. I have it in writing how much you mean to me and this business. So neither one of us can just fuck off when the going gets tough. Signing this agreement would make her (both of them) contractually committed to working things out with him even when it (he) gets difficult. That’s still a spiritual marriage. A business is a marriage and a (legal) marriage is a business.

[tremendously-crazy]

Relationship envy except I envy the bond between iconic fictional characters Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Syd is his everything. The naysayers use the word platonic or mentor student to dismiss Syds role in his life. To downplay it.

BTW, Tina asked Carmy for a signature at the wrong time. I would have loved to see Carmys face as syd opens the gift.

[raethereptile]

Advocating for palm kissing to be recognised as the highest form of physical intimacy

[samanthamulder]

THE X-FILES (1993-2018)

SEASON EIGHT — I will go on record to say this: that I have seen things that I cannot explain. I have observed phenomena that I cannot deny. And that as a scientist and a serious person it is a badge of honor not to dismiss these things because someone thinks they're BS.

[pretentiouswreckingball]

guys I have a question,,,, when did you realized you were loved, like truly loved, by someone?

[relaxxattack]

every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh

OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...

i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.

you know... like every relationship.

like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.

i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?

no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.

*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.

[astraskylark]

No but the last time Ruby yelled at Weiss like that was back during initiation, the two of them have grown so much together but their partnership has obviously been on the fritz since V7, like when did the synchrony of V6 fade and get to this.

Ruby knows Weiss, knows she can be a little snippy and in V9 Weiss has- the come on's and people are counting on us hurry up etc etc. But but it's Ruby and Weiss yeah?

Weiss didn't notice that her words were weighing on Ruby bit by bit and Ruby has noticed Weiss' grief over Atlas but can't find the words to help her.

They mean so much to each other but they'll never blame each other and they won't talk about it either cause they have to be strong for each other and they're stuck in an endless loop of I'll pretend to be fine for you and you pretend to be fine for me while silently trying to reach out but always falling short before anything meaningful can come out of it and this was never going to last, it was never going to work, they've been walking towards the ledge for months now and Ruby finally had to jump.

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

[secretiveambitions]

One of the best things about being in a QPR with an aro ace is that I can send them all the sexy pictures I want and never have to deal with uncomfortable jokes or situations

[contagious-watermelon]

so have we advocated for QPRs being a known relationship option bc its important that people not be boxed in by preconceived labels and notions, or are we just trying to extend the pressure to get into a committed relationship to aromantic people after they try to escape the bounds of amatonormativity

[side-sidecast]

maybe this is just me not curating my internet experience enough but lately i haven't been able to stand how oversaturated everything is with the need for romance, if that makes sense? i don't know how to explain it well but it really feels like a piece of media only has value to some people if there are characters in relationships or characters who can be shipped romantically and put into tropes. it feels like... a relationship has more inherent value to some people just because it's romantic and because of the fall in media literacy that means that characters have to explicitly say it out loud or kiss (alternatively every piece of subtext is twisted in this need of a romantic interpretation). and again maybe this is literally just me but i don't feel represented at all in this ranked and divided classification of romantic and platonic and familial love and i wish the latter two were valued as highly as the first. yes, i know what it's like to be frustrated with especially queer representation being written off as "they are just really good friends" but i'm similarly annoyed when two characters being in the same airspace suddenly means they are madly in love with each other

[currymanganese]

Ladies and gentlemen, The Bear Wiki on Carmen and Sydney's relationship: