secretiveambitions - Tumblr blog

[secretiveambitions]

"your ship will never be canon" you silly silly boi

I don't want my ship to be canon

I don't care what happens in canon

To me canon is just another fanfic that I really like

I'm here for the fanfics, the fanarts, the memes, the people and the vibe

My fav ship being canon is the last of my concern

[secretiveambitions]

I have one kink and it’s not a bad idea

*is confused*

I have one kink and it's not a good idea.

[secretiveambitions]

Before finding out about queer-platonic relationships I had this immense fear of being abandoned by all my friends once they all found partners (This was enforced by some of my friends at the time getting into relationships and going completely radio silent for months or just not having time for me anymore). I thought that being ace/aro meant I would never find someone I could love in my own way because they would want what I couldn't give or I wouldn't be able to fulfill my role in the relationship. Finding out that a relationship can be whatever my future partner and I agree on or are comfortable with is encouraging. I don't have to be what society decides is normal or conform to their standards. The label of QPR makes it all the more easy to find others who feel the same.

[secretiveambitions]

Shout out to the Autistic kids who didn't know they were making rude or socially unacceptable comments, got punished for it, and are now afraid to express their true thoughts and feelings as adults :p

[secretiveambitions]

Yes. Realized. Because I Am Dumb and unless it is specifically stated in plain broken down English I will not catch it

Does anyone have any advice for finding/getting into a queer-platonic relationship? Or just any advice related to the subject?

[secretiveambitions]

All I did was think of them as a super friend until one day we realized we might be partners

Does anyone have any advice for finding/getting into a queer-platonic relationship? Or just any advice related to the subject?

[secretiveambitions]

This. It’s so, so hard for me to get to a point where I actually feel things towards people. More than just observations about them, but actually /feeling/ is hard. And then interpreting what I’m actually feeling is next to impossible. Which leads to a lot of frustrations and meltdowns

Loving as an autistic person is hard

I feel really shitty about something, and I've been trying to figure out how to put it into words. It came to a head with my partner today over something as silly as our pet bunnies. But it's always right beneath the surface, taunting me.

My autism affects how I love in my relationships. And I really, really don't like it.

This isn't an "I hate my autism" post, don't worry. I love so much about my autistic self, but that there are some things I just have a hard time reconciling. And this is one of them.

I have an incredibly hard time making connections with people -- and even bunnies, apparently. Like, I have such a strong sense of justice and care for every living being, but it isn't *personal* you know? Like I can look at someone and say, "I want what's best for that person. I want them to be happy and healthy and cared for." And I mean that. I really do. And I want to work on making that a reality in whatever way I can.

But personal connections? Looking at someone -- a bunny, a friend -- and thinking "Yes, this one is one of mine" and *feeling* something...it just doesn't happen often with me. I develop connections so slowly and they break so easily during that process. I've still made connections, and I treasure them. I just feel like a shitty person for not being able to make those connections the way non-autistic people are able to. Like I love less somehow or that I'm a bad person because my personal love is so exclusive.

I like my posts to be positive by the end, so I'm gonna apologize right now for not being able to make a positive spin on this. Maybe soon, once I've processed more.

[secretiveambitions]

You Can Still Be Autistic And…

Autistic Qualia

[secretiveambitions]

Please let’s bring back goth lesbian Muppet😂

Back in 1997 there was a goth lesbian Muppet

[secretiveambitions]

It’s even worse when that person is your partner 😫

when u click with someone and they have the audacity to live far away

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Screw you too😝

(One of these days, maybe the gentle nice motivation will work)

Sometimes, being in a relationship means finding out how to actually motivate someone.

I've tried being nice; I've tried gently saying motivating things and being excited and giving support... but nothing works quite as well as agreeing that they can't do something.

Sheer and utter spite is a powerful thing

Screw (read: love) you too, babe

[secretiveambitions]

One of the best things about being autistic in a QPR with an aro ace is the best compliment ever is when they compliment my socks 😂😂

One of the best things about being in a QPR with an aro ace is that I can send them all the sexy pictures I want and never have to deal with uncomfortable jokes or situations

[secretiveambitions]

One of the best things about being in a QPR with an aro ace is that I can send them all the sexy pictures I want and never have to deal with uncomfortable jokes or situations

[secretiveambitions]

My Theory on Asexual Romance

I don't think asexual romance is anything like allosexual romance.

I researched. I read over a dozen asexual romances. I observed aces in relationships. I thought and thought and thought about my own asexual romance and what it looks like in practice.

And this is my theory:

When you take sexual attraction out of a relationship (from one party or both), what you get is something that takes allosexual couples YEARS to cultivate (and there's no guarantee they will). It's comfort and trust and steadiness. It's enjoying each other's soul more than their body. It's the passion of a cozy fireplace instead of a blazing inferno, and it warms instead of burns.

Asexual romance is so beautiful to me. The world looks down on it when they should be learning from it.

[secretiveambitions]

Lesser-Known Autistic Traits

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[secretiveambitions]

An aroace Autistic author blog

Hi, everyone! I thought I'd officially introduce myself and my blog. I'm Kristiana (they/she), and I'm an aromantic, asexual, agender, aplatonic (gray/demi), Autistic author -- so if you hear me screaming "AAAAAA!" now you know why!

My blog is focused on celebrating my unique communities, so you'll see lots of aspec and neurodivergent content, from memes to helpful infographics and musings.

And also some stuff about my books and what it's like being an author with my many unique identities and experiences!

My fantasy series is called The Stormwatch Diaries, and I think fans of Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who, and The Owl House would love it. It features two teenage aroace protagonists named Rose and Marek who are in a QPR and are legend seekers, part-time ghost hunters, and time travelers. And ever since I found out I'm autistic, I suspect my characters are neurodivergent well!

Thanks for reading! I hope you check out my blog and say hi!

[secretiveambitions]

People truly don’t get it.

The other night, I was told by a straight, conservative, Christian relative that they don’t believe in living for yourself. That that was bs and not the Christian way.

When I asked what exactly she meant by that, she admitted she meant same-sex marriage.

Which is odd, because they marry people they love. But somehow, they don’t view that as doing what pleases them and living for themselves? That, if I marry a woman, I’m choosing to go against my nature to do what I think would make me happy. So, I should marry a man and be unhappy?

Straight people live for themselves. Why aren’t gay people allowed the same right?

Every day, I get more and more tired of dealing with it