how kind of my mother
to pass on to me all of her birthmarks:
the one on her right hip,
the other inside her right thigh.
the shape of her smile,
the depth of her sadness.
the lack of self worth
enough to last us generations.
the love for the women who came before
and whoever comes next;
who bear the same mark on their right hip
and the spot inside their right thigh.
the same downward tilt of the lips
and the awarness of their own faults
that verges on false fabrications of the mind.
i long for my mother's peace.
i wish that by passing them down she could be rid of them.
i'd bear the entire burden on my own
if it meant she got to exhale for the first time in her life.
e.m. inheritance.
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You’re Not Here
Every day I wake up to
Adds scar tissue to the wound,
The pain never quite dwindles -
If it does, I’m a fool and I can’t feel it.
More often than not, I consider
Screaming at the sky,
Desperate for an explanation,
Why you ran out of time.
Through the circular motions I go,
It makes up for all that I don’t know,
It ticks the clock where my actions don’t,
Amidst spring, I wonder where the sun had gone.
And how can this world not shift and change
Now that you came about and graced its paths?
Where my optimism masquerades,
My anger had molten
And my worst nightmare becomes if you went forgotten.
Because I remember the ping of my phone -
How it echoed through the room,
Filled it with love
Because the most important people matter
Once they’re no longer around to make you smile:
I hate every day that I took you for granted.
I remember the chasm opening up in my lungs
As I typed and typed,
Tried to make them see what I have,
How you should’ve never gone like this,
How it was too early for you to leave,
How with you,
The forgiving part of me died, too.
It’s achingly unfair,
There’s no grandiose lessons to learn.
Here I sit and stare
Willing you back onto the doorstep of my home.
If a God exists somewhere,
Can they tell me why did it have to be you?
Could I have done anything
To change how the story ends?
Stay one step ahead,
Say everything I wanted to say
Before fate snatched you away,
That afternoon in February,
I shrunk back into the child you knew me as,
I cursed and begged
Every single thing I did was in vain
Because you’re not here today
And every day without you is a sliver of hell.
-- T.L.
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“Unafraid of Death” Poem by Mac
The section including “Once again,” references that
I’ve spoken about death & what’s next
many times in poems prior. ☠️
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When the world doesn’t give me a place, i know who i’m going to return to.
When my life is filled with darkness, you are the only light i see in it.
When it’s hard to cope up with myself, i know there’s someone who would never find it hard to be with me.
Through every stage of suffering and pain, you’re the only pleasure i seek.
During my tough and boring days, you bring me the most excitement.
You calm me and excite me simultaneously. You, my dearest piece of heart, bring me both pain and pleasure. You make my life dark yet you are the only light of my life. That, i think, is love.
- Sanawar Fatima Saeed
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