#Pull and Push SMS Solutions

[lovscb97]

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, angst angst angst, mentions of jealousy and self doubt, inner turmoil on y/n’s side (forgive my girl she’s trying her best), mentions of other idols (enhypen, aespa, stayc, etc), alcohol usage, more angst…, slight inclusion of depressive feelings and thoughts, confrontation, arguments, confessions, kissing, fluff, brief grinding/dry humping, oral (m. receiving), brief throat fucking, car sex, mentions of virginity loss, unprotected sex (plz don’t i beg), creampie, just sweet lovemaking, use of nicknames (baby, channie, pretty girl, etc), chan being a sweetheart (when is he not), etc

wc: 15.76k

add. notes: it is finally here!!! the long awaited pt. 2 of nerd!chan!!! thank u guys so much once more for all the love u gave to the first part i did Not expect it to gain that much traction to the point u guys wanted me to expand on the universe of it but i am grateful nonetheless <3 i’m also very sorry it took so long i just could not bring myself to write the whole thing in one sitting as it is decently long so thank u sm for waiting as well.. this fic is honestly my baby n while it was very frustrating to work on at times, i hope u all enjoy it n will give it lots of love for me :]

nerd!chan pt. 1 / nerd!chan headcannons / drabble #1

. . .

it’s been a few days since you last saw chan after your “encounter” in the locker room. granted how that might be primarily because you’ve been avoiding him like the plague ever since, but you suppose he also hasn’t done much to try and meet you. you’re not even sure why you’re doing this, and if you’re being honest, some part of it leaves a sense of dread lingering at the back of your mind, your thoughts swirling with what if’s that consist of wondering if he’s finally had enough after the way you walked out on him the previous time you guys were, err.. entangled, to say the least. but, you know; you know you’re not at liberty to feel this way, not when you’re the one who’s imposed these rules on yourself and whatever means of a relationship you’ve both got going on. it’s not your right to police how chan acts around you after you constantly push him away. you think it probably never was to begin with.

regardless of the consequences that you’ve reaped, you decided to forego the situation you’re stuck in and throw yourself into the one solution that always seems to find you when you’re rock bottom in the barrel— alcohol. your cheer girls had tried dragging you out once more to another party thrown by some guy called jake, and initially you’d declined, far too stuck in your own negativity to even consider going out and letting loose at this point, but karina insisted on you tagging along, practically yanking you to you guys’ shared dorm room and dolling you up in the cutest outfit possible that had even your low spirits lifting.

that is, until now.

you’d both arrived to the occasion half an hour prior to the incident, your friend basically pulling you in behind her and forcing you to socialise with people she knew even if all you contributed to the discussion was a small smile and greeting. however, at some point, you lose sight of her. it doesn’t alarm you much considering karina goes around on her own to do her thing a lot, so assuming she must be busy chatting it up with some guy, you shrug and make your way towards the kitchen to fix yourself a drink. and it’s when you’re in the middle of tossing back the red solo cup filled with bitter liquid and letting it burn as it goes down your throat, wincing despite the tinge of sweetness to it when it happens, no less when you see it—

chan.

but, not just chan, no no.

chan with another girl.

it’s immediate the way your hand which is gripping the beverage in it tightens on instinct, and you feel a surge of emotion wash over you that you can’t identify, or rather you don’t want to identify it. arrays of questions swirl in your mind at the sight in front of you, ranging from ‘what is he doing here after claiming he hates parties?’ to ‘did they come together?’. the last of your queries almost makes you want to throw up, the plausibility that chan was invited here by another woman leaving bile forming at the back of your throat. still, you pause momentarily to consider the possibility that this is a mere coincidence, that you’re just misunderstanding the scene playing out in front of you and that this is all a big joke and chan is going to turn around to leave at any point now.

but, then your eyes land on the way she caresses his arm, batting her eyelashes up at him and watching the way her actions cause his ears to tint red, the very same ears you’ve been responsible for making blush every occasion that you find yourselves together. and suddenly, it’s like everything in your world is spinning. the floor seems to be moving, the music fading out and everyone passing around becomes a blur, because your only focus is on chan.

your chan. your chan who isn’t yours.

it’s like he senses you looking at him too, because he stops mid-sentence out of the blue and turns his head in your direction, leaving your gazes to lock with each other’s. it has his eyes widening, and you don’t know whether that’s from simply seeing you or seeing the fact that you’re standing in the middle of the kitchen alone with trembling hands you hadn’t even noticed were shaking. you try so desperately to look away, to avert your stare from his brown orbs that seem to be swirling with something you can’t quite put your finger on, but it doesn’t work. he’s so.. captivating, dressed in casual clothes and his signature glasses that remain perched on the tip of his nose, the same nose you’ve kissed so many times in your heated state of affairs. you’ve always known chan is beautiful, though you’ve never admitted it, but something about today solidifies it in your mind even more, makes him look ever so mesmerising, ever so alluring, and ever so.. distant.

you feel like someone has dumped a cold bucket of water on top of your head when the last word resonates in your mind, and you somehow rip your eyes off of the boy standing across the room to avoid impulsively doing something you might regret, instead opting to go look for your friends. a cacophony of taunts torment your brain as you busy yourself in the futile task, varying from insults thrown against you for being so stupid to think this could ever work out to questions about why you’re doing this even if you don’t know the response to them, or rather you do but don’t want to answer them. you don’t know whether chan is still looking at or for you, and some sick, twisted part of you wishes he is, wishes that he’s so wrecked by the idea that he’s hurt you even though you have no right to feel that way.

allowing yourself one last glance to where he was previously situated to satisfy the lingering emotions inside, you turn around, confused when you don’t find him there until a loud voice calls out for him throughout the booming of the music in the room, making your head snap in its direction. it belongs to who you presume is his friend, changbin or whatever you recall from a study session turned to a late night conversation chan had initiated to get to know you better. he’s yelling something incoherent that you can’t make out through the noise levels of the house, and you’re about to shake your head and resume your previous activity when you notice chan being dragged onto the dance floor, no less by the girl who you’d found talking to him.

your heart instantly sinks into your chest at the picture in front of you, burning against your ribcage as the pounding in your head increases by the minute. chan’s smile is radiant, spread wide across his face as he tries to awkwardly mimic the gestures being made by everyone around him. if you were in a different predicament, you would’ve found it endearing regardless of whether you would’ve let yourself relish in that realisation or not internally, but right now, all you can focus on is the fact that it’s not you. it’s not you who’s making him laugh so bright, it’s not you who’s dragging your hands across his to place them on your waist, and it’s not you who’s captivated his attention in the moment, even if you so desperately wish it was.

“y/n?”

a voice drags you out of your mind, and you shake your head to find karina looking at you in worry, her hand coming up to gently place itself on your shoulder. she questions if you’re okay a second later, and you muster up a smile the best you can and nod, despite the churning in your stomach only growing worse at the existence of what you’d just witnessed a few meters away from you. “what’s up?” you decide to ask your friend instead, sensing the way she doesn’t seem to buy your response reassuring her you’re fine, but even so, she decides not to push you, instead pursing her lips and pointing her thumb behind her.

“heeseung and his friends are going to play a round of beer pong. wanna join them?” the last thing you want to do is indulge with other people, instead wishing you were cooped up under your blanket to wallow in your self misery all alone, but the way karina looks back at you with distress in her eyes, her pretty face contorted in concern for you only pushes you to put up a front, not wanting to alarm her any further. “yeah, let’s go. i wanna get wasted.” you grin with everything in you, and it seems to be enough with the way your friend beams back at you, taking your hand in hers before whisking you away to wherever the game is taking place. you still cast one last glance back behind your shoulder before she drags you away though, hoping to catch sight of chan once more, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

you think maybe that’s best for now.

. . .

it’s one in the afternoon when you wake up the next day, a dull throbbing present in your head as you clutch it with one hand, groggy eyes attempting to adjust to the light streaming through the barely drawn curtains of your dorm room. you slowly sit up and lean back against the pillow underneath that’s probably caught remnants of your makeup on it after last night, especially considering the fact that you hadn’t even bothered taking off the outfit you wore yesterday before crashing out in bed. giving yourself some time to get used to your every day surroundings, you take a peek over to the other side, noticing karina’s bed to be empty. she’d probably gone for classes, you think to yourself, cursing when you realise you had most definitely missed your own.

grabbing your phone off the nightstand, you unlock it, ready to shoot a text to your friends asking for any notes they’d taken in the lecture, only to find the messaging app already open. you scroll through your group chats in confusion, flicking through the several photos or videos people had taken and shared in hopes of remembering why you’d even left off on this. it wasn’t like you’d sent any embarrassing messages in them, the only evidence of your own responses being from two days ago. you try rack your brain for the last possible memory of last night, recalling yourself stumbling through the door and into bed, drinking with sieun and sunghoon during the game before that, and then opening your phone to record drunken voice notes to send to—

oh fuck.

“no, no, no, no, no, please.” you mumble to yourself in panic, eyes widening with horror as you frantically swipe out of the group chat threads and check your last sent texts. you flick furiously through the notifications in your phone, trying to find the one chat you’re looking for until the name you’re searching pops up. you close your eyes, covering your screen to try and calm down your nerves, praying to whatever entity is up there that your memory is mistaken and that you indeed did not do what you think you did. after a short minute, you take a deep breath, cracking your vision open as your fingers twitch. you hesitantly move your thumb that’s blocking your desired end goal out of the way to take a look at last, and—

“shit!” you swear with a yell, tossing your phone aside in favour of cupping your face in your hands and screaming into them out of frustration. you hadn’t even bothered to listen to the voice notes knowing they’d just consist of spewed gibberish the same as the texts, and ultimately what makes this entire ordeal all the more worse is chan’s lack of a reply. rather, he’d left you on seen, the realisation of it dawning on you as you flop back in bed and roll to the side to curl yourself up into a ball as if it’d provide some sort of comfort, mindless thoughts rushing into your brain at the very same.

what does chan think of you now? what did he think of you when he got those texts? was he annoyed? did he want to cut you off forever and finally drop you for good? maybe he laughed about your pathetic attempts to gain back his attention with the girl you’d seen him with yesterday. the idea only makes you want to throw up, although you can’t tell if it’s because of that or your splitting hangover. so, in an effort to drown in your self pity anyways, you yank the covers of your blanket over your head, trying to lull yourself back to sleep now that you’ve already missed out on your attendance.

unfortunately, your attempts don’t last long, the device you’d flung to the edge of your bed ringing with your roommate’s call shortly after in which she scolds you for still not having woken up. you bite back the answer that threatens to escape you when she proceeds to go on a tangent on how this is probably because you’ve been looking so dull lately, not having it in yourself to open up to your closest friend about the fact that you’ve secretly suppressed all your innermost feelings about somebody outside your social circe in fear they’d rise to the surface and force you to do things you’d never do sober.

karina eventually ends her rant with urging you to come to the building at least to meet up for lunch, convincing you in your very much hungover state that you need something in your stomach, to which you begrudgingly agree. dragging yourself out of bed to put on some simple clothes and trudging outside the door in all your miserable glory is a task in itself, but you manage somehow. you can’t help but grumble to yourself as you parade the halls of the student accommodation with only one goal in mind— avoid chan at all cost.

fate, however, is not on your side, it seems.

because the minute you step out and about underneath the midday sun, your eyes fixated on the cobblestone path underneath your feet which leads to the university buildings located right outside the student housing, you stop dead in your tracks, stumbling upon a certain scene—

the certain scene in question being chan with his very same arm candy from yesterday.

your breath hitches in your throat at the sight, and it’s like you’re glued to the ground, unmoving as if you’ve turned static and become bound to the floor. chan doesn’t seem to have noticed you yet from your spot that’s metres away from him, too busy focusing on conversing with the girl to even look up and catch his surroundings. you wonder if that’s because she’s his girlfriend, or someone he’s interested in given the fact that he seems so engaged with her and how you’ve caught them together so many times by now (twice, actually, but in your head it seems like a much bigger number), and in all honesty, that just makes everything all the more worse.

you don’t even understand why you’re so upset about this. you wanted chan to not cling to you, or a better way of putting it instead is that you weren’t ready for him to do so. you wanted to save him the heartbreak that would come from becoming entangled with you, warning him right at the start implicitly in the way you ran from him that you weren’t going to share anything deeper than whatever you guys had. in some twisted way, you think maybe that was your idea of trying to be a good person when you knew you weren’t. even so, the fact that he could become attached to you alongside your lack of an ability to commit to you guys’ messed up relationship was terrifying. you were aware it would leave him hurt in the end, alone and stuck onto you, and that scared you in ways you’d never been.

it also scared you to think chan might see something more in you, might find something worth sticking around for; that in turn, he’d manage to change the perspective you have of yourself due to the fact that he was so.. so good. too good, maybe. because the crux of it all is that you two are from such different worlds, with different needs and different lives that just so happened to become mingled amongst each other. you found him by chance encounter, not having even known his name a few months back, and now you’re here, shamelessly tormented by the fact that the boy you didn’t want to hurt is unknowingly hurting you despite the fact that you have no right to be hurt by him. you knew from the start mixing up with someone like him didn’t make sense. it never would make sense. you’d always thought that these circumstances would be the cause of chan’s own downfall, that he was just running in a losing race.

oh, how the tables have turned, you think.

“see you around, channie.” you hear from the corner, the voice snapping you out of your inner dilemma in mere moments as you come to realise it belongs to ‘that’ girl. you think your heart rate physically spikes when you watch the way she winks at him, gently touching chan’s arm before brushing past him to walk away. part of you feels relieved that she’s gone, but another part of you can’t ignore how your stomach swirls in disgust at the way she behaves around him, or rather the way it flusters him in return. you don’t miss the burning red of chan’s ears or how he shakes his head to try recover out of it, especially not because of how it makes you feel disgusted. it’s so much so that in the midst of everything, you don’t even realise his head is springing up in your direction until his eyes are locked with yours once more, just like the night before.

white, coarse shock flashes through you, and you’d think your frozen body would finally listen when you see chan making his way over to you. instead, you stand there like an idiot, akin to a kicked puppy even with the way you’re sure your emotions are written clear as day on you. it’s only by the time that he’s almost face to face with you, an unreadable expressing playing on his face and the proximity of your bodies sending you reeling that you feel like you regain control over yourself, not daring to waste another second before you’re turning around on your heel and stepping away.

chan’s voice calls out for you in instant at your actions, and you desperately try to ignore the way your name sounds falling from his lips, swallowing a lump down in your throat that threatens to break the dam nearing explosion. it’s only when you hear his footsteps speed up and a warm hand grab your arm that you stop in place for what feels like the nth time this week, feeling like you can’t go on any further. you’re so tired of running, of detaching yourself from the situation and moving out of the picture that something in you just feels so defeated. so, you slowly turn around to meet his gaze again, heaving a breath that you don’t intend to come out of your mouth at the way he’s looking at you.

“sorry. um,” chan sighs, clearing his throat as he pushes back his glasses which are sliding off his nose. “hi?” he starts, not sure where to begin. you can tell he’s tense with the way he’s fiddling with his fingers and slightly tapping his sneaker clad foot, and you wish you could ease his nerves despite the fact that you’re equally as nervous, wishing you didn’t have to face him at all today, much less so soon. “i just, uh.. wanted to ask how you are.”

“‘m good.” you respond meekly, eyes falling on your feet, or the bushes, or the speck of dirt on the floor, or just fucking anywhere that wasn’t chan’s tender gaze which makes you feel messy and confusing feelings. “how are you?” you weakly offer, risking a glance at him as he nods and says the same, which only makes you feel like your heart is about to burst with the way he’s so concentrated on your face. his expression is still unreadable, and you’re not sure what’s burning through his mind right now, although if you had to take a wild guess, you’d think he’s probably wondering how the fuck he’s supposed to bring up your stupid behaviour, and it’s much to your dismay that your suspicions are confirmed with his next sentence.

“listen, i—“

“please ignore what happened. i was drunk, and it didn’t mean anything.” you quickly blurt out, cutting him off before he can say what he was going to. you’re not even sure if he was going to bring it up because you don’t give him the opportunity to do so in fear it’ll mortify you further than you already are, so much so that you don’t seem to notice the way the look in his eyes falls, that slight glimmer of hope dying down just as soon as it had appeared. “you can just leave it be, honestly.” you add on, the next words on your tongue slipping before you can stop them.

“i’m sure your girlfriend will be happier if you do that.”

it’s venomous, the tone that you speak in, sounding bitter and hurt despite the fact that you know you’re being petty. chan just blinks at you in return, opening his mouth, closing it and then opening it again as if he’s trying to find the right words to say. he doesn’t really know what to say, not when you’ve given him so much to process in so little time. “y/n,” he eventually lets out, and you have to physically shut your eyes to compose yourself from the way he sounds so soft as he addresses you. when you open them, he’s deep in thought, stare fixated on the space between your shoulder as if it’ll help him come up with an adequate response to this fucked up situation.

“i don’t think i should move past it.” chan swallows, his voice slightly trembling if you strain to hear it. something in you burns when you realise he doesn’t even bother to correct you about calling the previous woman you’d seen him with his girlfriend, and now you’re left wondering if there really is something deeper brewing between them. your stomach plummets at the potential, so much so that you can feel hints of irrational anger rising to the surface in you, and before you know it, you’re seeing red. “what the fuck does that even mean?” you spit out in your mild fit of rage that’s just begun, and chan’s eyes widen at you use of words.

“i-i mean, you’ve been avoiding me this whole time, and i just wanna know if it was something i did from last time, or if—“

“god, you just don’t know when to quit, do you?” you continue to snap, trying desperately to ignore the fresh sting of tears threatening to leak. you know this isn’t what you want to say, your heart speaking something different that it’s been trying to tell you for ages now, but the phrases tumbling out of your mouth are anything but the truth that yearns to be shared with probably the one person who would choose to understand and listen to it.

“this was nothing to begin with, and it never will be, chan. i said what i said ‘cause i was wasted out of my mind, it doesn’t mean jackshit. so, you can go ahead and do whatever the hell you want, and i’ll do the same.”

you don’t even realise the gravity of your words until you’re done, finally meeting chan’s gaze which only makes you want to let out the sob you’ve been holding back this entire time. instant regret floods your system at the way his shoulders slump and eyes appear emotionless, and before you can think to take it back, to tell him how everything you just said is a lie and that you’ve been trying to ignore whatever you feel towards him all this while, he flashes you a smile. it’s small, and you can tell it hides unspoken emotion in it, but you don’t question nor point it out, too stunned to even process it.

“i understand. i’ll leave you be from now on.” chan says quietly, his voice broken and dull. the lump in your throat sits at the back, ever so present and persistent as you try to swallow it away whilst watching his defeated frame turn around and walk off in the opposite direction. a desire deep inside of you itches to scream after him, to run over and yank him into your arms at last, but your pride overshadows it. you know you’ve done what you need to, your mind trying to convince you of the very fact because this is what’s best for you; it’s best for you to not continue mixing with chan in order to stop hurting both him and yourself, although it seems it’s too late for that by now.

moreover, even with that previous acceptance, you still feel uneasy, like something in you remains unresolved. part of you knows exactly what the truth is, but you refuse to acknowledge it. you think you’ll never know when or if the time for you to do so will ever come. so, with a heavy heart and so many unsaid thoughts, you turn around and trudge your way back to the dorms, shooting karina a quick text about feeing under the weather to eat before getting beneath your covers to lay down. a million thoughts buzz in your head as you try to sleep, desperately wanting to evade reality, yet your efforts do little to satiate the noises in your mind.

it’s only when you feel the fresh roll of a single tear against your cheek that you truly come to understand just what’s happened. you know you’ve pushed chan away for the millionth time by now, yet something about this instance feels different. maybe it’s the fact that you stuck around to see the pain in his eyes, or maybe it’s how he still tried to reach out to you despite your avoidance of him. maybe it’s even the way he’s finally found someone who probably loves him the way he deserves to be— openly, something you could never dare to give him despite your blatantly obvious jealousy. your very admissions make the weight in your heart heavier, the knowledge that you’re jealous, that you’ve been jealous this entire time only solidifying the fact that you care. you care so fucking much to the point it’s been eating you alive, and that’s all it takes for you to break before you’re full on crying, body shaking as you cover your face in your hands. one lone thought remains in your mind in the midst of your tears, the thought that chan may have not been yours to begin with, but now?

now, he’s definitely never going to be.

. . .

“l/n, what’s the matter with you today? keep up, you’re falling behind!” your coach’s frustrated voice cuts through the evening air once more as you squint, the stadium lights behind her highlighting her form that’s menacingly staring at you with hands on her hips. a loud sigh leaves your lips, causing you to clutch the plastic of your cheer tassels tightly in your hand as you try and ignore the stares coming from your girls. this is probably the fifth time you’ve messed up the routine for everyone today, an event highly unlikely for you in normal occurrences, but after having spent a few days since.. that, you can’t seem to get into the zone and focus on anything anymore.

practise drones on for another hour, filled with more groans and scolding from your instructor directed your way in specific until she finally gives up and dismisses everyone for the day. she grumbles something about how you guys should just come back tomorrow in the morning prior to the game instead and stomps off to her office, leaving you with a pit in your stomach because you know this is all because of you. there’s silence that lingers in the atmosphere once she’s gone, and no one dares to speak up, instead opting to stare at you through stolen glances as you heave a breathe. tossing your equipment aside, you move to go fill up some water, chugging it down in hopes that quenching your thirst will get you to snap out of the haziness that’s currently fogging your mind.

“hey.” a voice greets you from behind, and you whip your head back to find yunjin and giselle standing there. crumpling the paper cup in your hands, you fling it into the nearby bin, mustering up a smile as you nod at them which pushes giselle to bite the gun. “you okay? you seem kind of.. off today.” she questions in worry, causing you to shrug.

“yeah, sorry. i’ve just got a lot on my mind, i guess.” you huff out a laugh, although there’s nothing but annoyance laced in your tone. your teammates exchange looks between them at your words, and yunjin steps forward to place a hand on your shoulder. “we get it, the big game is nerve-wracking for us too.” you hum, her voice offering the same encouraging dialogue to you droning out in your head as reality fades away and your inner monologue with yourself begins once more.

what was the actual point of all of this anymore? were you even in it for the long haul? did you really want to continue giving it your all even after knowing you’ve lost something that means so much to you? you realise belatedly now that everything around you has become superficial, and that none of it seems to matter in the grand scheme of things except for.. well, him. even the concept of going to parties, getting wasted, missing classes, being on a team with the rest of the girls, it all feels endlessly futile now. that’s not to say you haven’t had fun this entire time, but something in you feels like it’s finally come to terms with what’s surrounding you. the ringing in your ears only gets louder by the minute as you try to will it away, and it genuinely seems like the alarms in you have finally woken up after months of staying dormant.

“sorry, yun, but i have to go. i’ll see you two later.” you mumble, and before either of them can protest, you’re turning around and walking off, the evening’s cool air following you closely behind.

you don’t even say hi to karina when you reach your dorm room, ignoring her greeting as you toss your shoes to the side, but she seems to pick up on what’s going on after seeing the longing look in your eyes. she doesn’t question it either when you lock yourself in the bathroom, simply going back to reading her book as if nothing had happened, and you’re honestly grateful for that realisation when you start the water. once the tub is all filled up, you strip down naked and dip your body in, closing your eyes at the warm sensation which envelops you after slipping in.

even still, the hug your bath seems to wrap you up in doesn’t take away from the heaviness of the day that continues to wear you down, almost like what happened over the course of this week is dragging your tense muscles with it. your chest still feels tight and the voices in your head remain muffled, like they’re being deafened by white noise that hasn’t stopped increasing in pitch ever since you came to terms with how you’re feeling. how you’re feeling. you swallow at that.

it feels like hours pass by the time you finally heave your soaking wet limbs out, bundling yourself up in a towel to dry yourself off before creaking the door open. when you step out, you notice karina’s side of the room to be empty, checking your phone to see if she’d messaged you, only to find texts from her saying she’d gone down to the dining hall with her classmates. you shoot her a quick reply back, adding some obscure emoji so she knows not to worry too much and then proceed to flop down on your own bed, frowning when you feel the still remaining dampness of your hair hit the pillow.

your eyes drift to your device which illuminates in the darkness of the room again, fingers moving to grab it as you unlock it only to flick through the rows of messages flooding in from group chats you don’t even know why you’re part of in the first place. some part of you feels empty upon eyeing them, watching the way everyone buzzes in excitement about the game tomorrow knowing you feel far from how they do. rather, it’s the opposite, some sort of twisted sensation washing over you as you scroll past all your notifications only to land on a particular chat.

“fuck.” you mutter to yourself, groaning whilst your eyes rake over chan’s contact name. you press on the profile photo hesitantly, biting your lip as it enlarges to give you a better look at what picture you’ve set for him; the picture you took of him.

you still remember it vividly— the both of you had gone down to the convenience store to grab a quick study snack, only to end up chatting over long gone cold ramen for hours on no end up until the point it had turned dark outside. you’d brushed off the dirt on your jeans after getting up from the stairs you two had sat on, turning around to face chan who was also about to stand but stopped at your request for him to pose for the camera. he’d gone red in the face when you teased him about how good he’d looked after snapping some photos of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck as he brushed off your compliment despite his giggles.

you’d been so busy pointing out the details of the photo that you hadn’t even noticed the way he’d laced his hand in yours, his palm soft against your cooler skin which caused the insides of your stomach to leap in a weird way. you’d ignored it of course, letting him enjoy his moment seeing as no one was around to catch you both anyways, but the blooming contentment you’d felt in your body remained until he’d walked you back to your dorm room, shyly flashing you a smile before placing a small kiss on your forehead. you rode out on that high for the next few days without even knowing it.

it’s only when your screen becomes wet with a few drops of your tears that you snap out of the memories, realising you’re crying once more. you use the back of your sleeve to wipe at your face, sniffling slightly all while trying to hold back the emotions that threaten to escape you yet again after having bottled them up for days now. your previous texts with chan stare back in your eyes as a sore reminder of everything, and you can’t help but scroll through them, reading back the silly messages you’d exchanged which only make you want to wallow in self pity even more.

was chan thinking of you the way you were of him? was he cooped up and unable to progress with his day because he was still hung up on how things had ended? did he care? did he.. ever care? did he care half as much as you did right now?

he did.

you realise belatedly that he cared, cared so much that maybe it was even more than you do right now or ever could and will. chan cared for you so deeply, so passionately in a way nobody else had the capability to do so in your entire life. he replaced the love you lacked growing up with his boyish charms and soft spoken personality, and he was willing to give up parts of him for your sake so as long as it meant you were happy.

he cared. he had cared.

he’d cared so fucking much and you’d thrown it away like it was nothing.

before you can even process your next actions, your thumb presses on the call icon next to chan’s profile. the ring goes out immediately, his nickname and photo appearing on your screen once more as you wait with bated breath. you don’t even know what you’re doing right now, you don’t think you ever have known to be honest when it comes to chan, but some irrational, impulsive part of you feels like it’s taken over, yearning to satiate the desires you’ve ignored for a long time now.

beep. beep. beep.

please pick up. please don’t pick up. please pick up. please don’t pick up. please—

“the number you have dialled is..“

it’s immediate the way you click off the call, bottom lip wobbling once you’re sure there’s no way anyone can hear as all your pent up frustration comes crashing down on you in an instant. a beat of silence passes as you exhale a shaky breath, which seems to be the beginning of the floodgates opening because by the time the air even leaves your mouth, you’re choking back a sob, much like you have been for these past few days. your heart tightens in a way that makes you extremely uncomfortable, and your hands shake as you try embrace yourself by hugging your knees to your chest so you can bury your face in them.

chan hadn’t picked up. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve asked him to come over in the dead of the night to meet up with you just so you two can make out in the backseat of his car. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve texted wishing to facetime with him because you’re bored of trying to do your assignments. he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times you’ve wanted him to let you know to ring you up once he’s arrived home safe after having driven you back to your dorm.

he hadn’t picked up unlike all the previous times because he was gone from your life once and for all.

. . .

the next morning arrives far too soon for your liking, and it takes everything within you to drag your body out of the solace of your bed which currently seems to be the only thing providing you any semblance of comfort in your dull times. you do your best to make small talk with karina as you both get ready for the game, your roommate chatting your ear off about something mundane and irrelevant that you suspect is her way of filling the uncomfortable air lingering around you that she’s picked up on. you’re grateful for her trying to compensate for your lack of a response, but even with karina’s support, your soul feels extremely hollow and devoid of any meaning still. you hum and offer simple quips to her regardless of your mind screaming at you to go non-verbal, and before you know it, you’re both out of the door with you dressed up in your cheer uniform despite not feeling the slightest bit prepared to tackle what the day is about to bring.

by the time you both reach the stadium, everyone has already filled out the majority of the seats, the loud buzz of excitement resonating through the surroundings as you rake your eyes over the large turnout. karina flashes you a smile before giving you a quick hug, assuring you that you’ll do great and disappearing into the crowd to find her own spot to sit down. you want to believe her words, you truly do, but all your mind is fixated on right now is how sheerly empty you feel, your thoughts still drowning you in negativity with the way they haven’t shut up since last night, or maybe even for the past few weeks if you’re being honest. despite whatever emotions and jitters you’re feeling though, you try shrug it off, breathing in deeply before making your way over to where the rest of your team has gathered.

it’s the same speech that you’re met with when you finally stand around the huddle that everyone has formed in, their bright grins and your coach’s encouraging ment making you feel guilty for not being as fully into this as everybody else is. despite the drawbacks, you beam anyways, participating in the pre-show ritual of putting your hands into the centre and laughing alongside your girls. you all separate eventually and stand in your positions, and it doesn’t take long before the event begins and you’re all starting the crowd off with the all too familiar chant of your university’s slogan that everybody joins in on.

the game begins and generally progresses with no major hiccups, and in the end, you do manage to pull off the routine you’ve practised multiple times seamlessly without any issues. your limbs burn, and your voice is hoarse by the time the band takes over, but you try your best to maintain your outgoing nature despite the inner turmoil that’s been brewing inside you for a while now. nonetheless, before you know it, halftime is over and both teams are on the brink of a match point stopping them from taking victory. everybody watches with their nerves at a full time high, and for a moment, your thoughts seem to fade as you focus on keeping the gathering of people upbeat and motivated to encourage the players, but it’s short-lived after the star player manages to score the winning goal once and for all.

upon the realisation that your team has won, everyone erupts in loud celebration and applause, some even standing from their seat to make their way down and join in on the crowd of players who have formed around the one who threw the last shot. your girls and coach all yell in joy, a few of them hugging each other after a successfully executed performance which leaves them jumping up and down. you stay to watch from the sidelines, happy for your team’s hard efforts despite your still heavy shoulders dragging you down from getting into the spirit. some of the girls try and grab you by the hand to bring you into the hug, but you politely decline, saying you need to catch your breath for a second as some meaningless excuse to avoid having to be surrounded by a large group of people for too long.

observing everyone feels bittersweet. you want to be as pumped up as everybody else is, want to join in and ride on the high of having tackled what was quite possibly the biggest, most important match of the season, but a part of you holds back. no matter how much you try drag yourself out of your low spirits, you can’t succeed, instead feeling the need to chew on your bottom lip with your rising inability to hide your emotions as you stand in the middle of the ground alone. you don’t know where karina’s sauntered of to after the news of today's game outcome, and you’re not even sure where the rest of the team is heading to now; you assume it’s to some nearby diner for further commemoration. everything in you remains the same, numb and drained of any potential happiness that could’ve been because of what you’ve come to realise is completely your fault.

with a deep sigh and a gradual acceptance that you should just head back to the dorms, you turn on your heel, tossing your tassels somewhere in the basket you’d picked them up from before slowly trudging your way in the direction of the student accommodation. your eyes feel glossy, and that weird lump you keep getting before you’re about to cry is back in your throat as you watch everyone whizz past you, clearly bustling in thrill that’s much different from how you’re feeling. you do catch a few glances on you, feeling people’s stares and knowing they’re probably wondering why a member of the cheer team isn’t out partying with the rest, but you can’t find it in you to care anymore. you don’t know how you ever did in the first place.

y/n.

your ears perk at a familiar voice shouting your name in the distance, goosebumps spiking on your skin at the way it sounds so similar to chan’s. you feel like you’re hallucinating at this point, just hearing things because of your growing infatuation with him that’s finally made its way up from the underlying surface, and that only prompts you to walk faster as you tug your arms to your chest. if you’re starting to imagine things, it’s best that you get out of here. so, with your eyes squeezed shut, you try carry yourself as fast as your legs can take you, the call of your name only growing louder regardless of how much you ignore it. you swear you’re going mad from the way each time it returns, it sounds even closer and identical to how chan does, springing up memories of when he’d called you by your name the previous times you’d spent together.

y/n. y/n. y/n.

“y/n!”

your eyes widen when you hear the same voice and footsteps jogging up directly right behind you, this time knowing for sure that it’s not just in your head and rather coming from a few meters away. your heart accelerates with the possibility of what that means, of what that would entail if it were true. it couldn’t be.

..could it?

you’re quick to spin around when the thought crosses your mind, your eyes raking over your surroundings to search for that one figure you’ve been looking for in everyone you’ve met for the past few months. your breath catches in your throat, and you whip your head side to side to try and find the source, but it’s only when your vision stabilises and settles on the emerging figure in front of you that you realise it—

chan.

it’s chan.

chan is here.

“y/n.” he breathes out when he finally catches up to you, his glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose in his haste to greet you. you don’t respond, mouth open and feet frozen in place with your mind rushing at a million miles per hour and so many different questions echoing in it. is this real? have you fallen into some delusional state of existence where you’re envisioning the one person you’ve needed for so long? is he just a figment of your imagination that’s been burning with his face for so many days now? you can’t believe it, you don’t want to believe it, you think you don’t deserve to believe it. you long to reach out to him and place your hand in his, to feel and see if he’s actually present and standing in front of you, but your body acts like it’s been caught up in utter shock, something chan seems to pick up on after your prolonged silence.

“g-good job on the game.” he decides to stutter out as a way of starting conversation hopefully, cursing internally at how his voice wavers before letting out a nervous chuckle. “you were really great out there, and i saw you lead everyone really well. you know, if i think about it, cheerleading is kinda an intense sport, ‘cause why were you guys jumping so high, and—“

“you came.”

chan blinks as if to process your words, his eyes softening immediately at the admission that’s slipped out of you when you cut his rambling off mid-sentence with two simple words. you look so shocked, and it’s with a proper glance at your face he’s getting after not having been able to see you well enough for a while that he notices the remnants of your bloodshot eyes and slight dark circles, all of which you’d tried to cover up with makeup. he thinks you’re still as pretty as ever like this, and his hand twitches with the urging need to take you in his arms. he wants so badly to hold you, but he hesitates, instead settling on two, even more simpler words—

“you called.”

that’s all it takes. all it takes is two words which inherently have no meaning unless you give it to them to set you free and rid you of the static in your brain, your orbs stinging with the all too knowing tears that slowly drop out of them as you let everything sink in. it may sound like the most mundane sentence on the outside, but to you, after weeks of uncertainty and these last few days filled with what you would honestly classify as the worst depressive thoughts of your life, they feel like the most uplifting thing ever.

chan’s gaze widens when he catches the sole droplet of salty water roll down your cheek, and he’s instinctively extending his finger to wipe it away until he realises what he’s just done. you don’t even get to speak as he splutters out apologies for touching you while looking around to see if anyone caught that. his actions make your heart ache, knowing it’s because of you that he feels so cautious, and before you can even think, you’re crashing into him. the sudden weight of your body causes him to stumble a little on his feet, but he manages to stabilise himself as you wrap yourself around him in his embrace, burying your face into his chest.

“‘m sorry. ‘m so, so sorry.” your voice cracks as you speak, muffled into his jacket to the point he has to strain to hear it. you keep repeating the same thing over and over again to the point it makes his frown deepen, and he’s instant in cradling you back in his hold, other people be damned because he’d be an idiot not to take care of you now of all times. he lets you mumble into his clothes as long as you need to, grip on your smaller figure tightening while he rubs your back soothingly. his touch feels warm and comforting, and you don’t even know how you’d gone so far without it, pulling back with a sniffle after a short instance so you can scan your eyes over his features.

he’s dressed in simple clothes today, but that same combo of his signature snapback and glasses he always has remain resting on his head and face. you don’t even know what it is about them, maybe it’s the fact that you’ve gotten so accustomed to seeing him in these things, or maybe it’s how you’re finally catching a glimpse of it all after having been away for so long, but the sight of his accessories that you know all too well only makes you cry harder. you try move your arm to wipe at your tears, but chan is quicker, the soft pads of his thumbs brushing against your wet cheeks as he cups your face in his hands. your bottom lip juts out shamelessly as he wipes the remnants of your emotions away, to which he just smiles.

“i’m sorry too.” he admits, your confusion urging him to elaborate. “i saw you called yesterday night, but my brother had my phone and wouldn’t give it back to me, so i couldn’t pick up. i debated calling you back too, but i wasn’t sure if it was just another drunken mishap, and then after you said everything that day, i-i didn’t want to risk bothering you, and..“ he trails off, biting his bottom lip. you swallow at his words.

“it wasn’t a drunk call.” you shake your head, voice still wobbly as you clear your throat. “chan, i..“ you struggle to find a plausible explanation, wishing you could say a hundred words and none at the same time. you want to tell him everything in your heart, all the fears you’ve had this entire time that you want to get over with his help, all the nonsense your brain has been spewing ever since you told him to walk out of your life, all of it. you want him to know every deep, dark secret you’ve kept this entire time, but you can’t seem to find the right way to phrase it all.

“i get it.” he offers a lopsided grin as if having read your mind, and it’s pathetic really how it instantly eases all your worries. “you don’t have to say anything, not unless you want to. but, y/n,” chan hesitates, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. “there’s something i need to tell you before it’s too late.”

that makes you gulp, and you wonder for a split second if maybe this is the end. maybe this is chan finally putting himself and his needs first before you can even profess all the unsaid declarations of your feelings for him. maybe he’s become fed up with you at last and came to see you in person today to let you down easily, telling you sweet things and comforting you so you’d ease your guard and be more susceptible to what he’s about to say. maybe it’s finally time for you to let go before you could’ve even had a taste of what was to come, maybe this is the universe’s way of letting you know you lost your timing due to your insolence, maybe—

“i love you.”

…what?

your eyes practically bulge out of your head at this point, and for a while, you wonder if you really heard him right. it’s like your entire world seems to slow down around you too, your surroundings spinning even with you trying to stabilise your vision after what you’d just been told. everything feels like it’s fading into background noise, and suddenly your entire focus is only on chan; chan with his gorgeous face and honey-like voice that you’ve heard so many times letting you know the one thing you’ve longed to hear from him these past few weeks.

“i think— no, i know you’re it for me.” he continues to blurt out, his anxiety gnawing him at the back of his mind with the way you don’t say anything. “i’ve wanted to tell you for so long because i’ve been in love with you for a while now, but i didn’t because of what you said that day. a-and i know you told me not to bother you again, and maybe you’re not in the right mindset right now and i’m just imagining all of this, and you’re going to wake up tomorrow having changed your mind and we’ll go back to the way we were, and—“

chan’s words die down in his throat before he can even get the rest of his sentence out, a surprised yelp leaving him when you abruptly cut him off by pressing your mouth against his. he lets out a small noise of shock at the way you lean into him, but his hands wrap around you as if its instinct, caging you into his body when he eventually does reciprocate your actions. your lips are soft; they’re so warm and taste like your strawberry chapstick, but he doesn’t care that it’s probably staining his face, at least not when he’s finally got you with him, no less in the way he’s longed for ever since he met your drunk figure stumbling into the balcony with him that night at the party.

your head isn’t any quieter either, adrenaline coursing through your veins and heart impossibly beating out of your chest as you enthusiastically mould yourself to him. your fingers bunch up the jacket he’s wearing, and the way he’s kissing you makes your toes curl inside your shoes, but none of that matters when you’re here at long last with chan. chan, chan, chan. your chan. your chan who has never been yours but is now saying he is. your imperfect, awkward, nerdy chan who holds the door open for you and respects all your wishes regardless of how they make him feel. the realisation makes your insides twist in a way you think might make your legs give out on you, but chan is quick to squeeze your waist as a way of reassuring you that he won’t let you fall, and you can’t help the fluttery sensation in your stomach that passes with that.

when you both do pull away, it’s with much reluctance, and you can see the faintest hint of a pout on chan’s face decorated with the remnants of your makeup, but he doesn’t seem to care so you think neither should you. your eyes lock when he opens his, those same orbs you’ve felt such complicated feelings for reflecting back at you with unspoken tension and so much adoration. you think you might physically melt with the way he’s staring down at you, so lovestruck and completely in awe, but that’s exactly what gives you the push to say your next words—

“i love you so much.” you choke out, unexpected emotions washing over you as you finally admit what you’ve been wanting to say for so long. it feels liberating in a way you’ve never experienced, to be honest and real with him, but you think you could get used to it.

“how could i not love you, chan? you’re everything i’ve ever needed.” your voice comes out in a whisper, and chan feels his shoulders relax at that, relief flooding through his system when he finally, finally hears what he’s wanted to since he’s known you. “‘m sorry for pushing you away, ‘m sorry for hurting you, and i’ll try my best to stop running from what i want. so.. if you’ll still have me even after all that, i promise i’ll make it worth your while.” you look down at your feet, swallowing in fear that he’d think otherwise after being reminded of everything you did to him. you know you don’t deserve a second chance, but the thought of chan changing his mind after everything that’s happened feels way too cruel, although you think maybe that’s your karma.

“hey,” your ears catch his gentle voice speak up, dragging you out of your thoughts. before you can even look up, chan’s hooking his finger under your chin and making you do so, his beautiful face that you’ve fallen for throughout these past few months coming into your view. the way he’s staring down at you is so tender, so full of admiration that you genuinely believe you might pass out. chan has always looked at you like you hung the stars up in the sky, like he wants you and you only in every lifetime. but, seeing it now after his confession, seeing the way his gaze rakes over your features as if he’s trying to commit them to memory, you feel like you might cry again.

“of course i’ll have you, are you kidding me?” he huffs out in a laugh that pulls you back to reality, although it sounds more like him being in disbelief. “i’ve been dreaming of this ever since i even saw you.” he shyly mumbles, and you can’t stop the goofy grin that spreads across your face at his admittance. you want to jump in joy, to shout out your feelings for him from the top of the bleachers after finally having it all laid bare in front of you, but you can’t, so instead you settle on smashing your lips against his once more, cradling his face in your hands.

chan’s quick in responding this time, and you can sense the way he’s beaming when he moves his mouth in sync with yours. your hand slides up his chest to grip the edge of his jacket, and you swear you can feel the rapid thumping of his heart under your skin, wondering if he can hear yours too with the way you’re both pressed up to each other. you stay like that to the point your lungs burn, exchanging kisses and unspoken feelings amongst each other until you finally have enough (not really). your hand interlocks with his once you pull away and flash him a cheeky smile, the words already leaving you—

“let’s get out of here.”

. . .

by the time you and chan make it to his car, you’re already panting, lips bruised with the way you’ve been pushing them against one another’s for the past few minutes. it took long enough to even drag him to the parking lot, chan not being able to let go of you in favour of walking the short distance to the outdoor area where he'd driven and stopped. the morning sky that’s illuminated above you with hues of orange stretches out for miles, and if anyone’s up there looking down at you both, they’d probably see two young adults giggling amongst themselves as one of them presses the other up to the side of his vehicle. you feel butterflies erupt in you with the way chan slots his body against yours, his leg pushing its way through the gap between yours, and his mouth is on you before you can even speak.

“you look so pretty today.” chan retracts from you to whisper suddenly, his slightly foggy glasses once again sliding off his nose. you reach up and push them back with a mischievous glint in your eyes, and he swears he's never seen a sight so alluring in his life; his red ears are enough evidence of that fact. “so, am i not pretty every other day, mr. bang?” you tease, causing him to let out a chuckle. he missed this, missed the banter between you two that was the start of what could've been mistaken as a lighthearted relationship if no one bothered to correct the details of it. regardless of all the trials and tribulations it took to get you both to this point, he doesn't care, at least not when he finally has you in his arms, your top bunched up in his hands as he looks down at your precious face.

“nope.” he pops the ‘p’, thumb brushing against your cheek. “because those days, you're even prettier.” he murmurs, and you think if your heart races anymore that it might actually burst. the love and adoration that you’re experiencing for him right now, the love and adoration that you've been experiencing for a long time now, it all feels like a fever dream. you're finally able to do and say what you want to him, but you think the best part of it all is him reciprocating it. the way he gazes at you, the way he touches you, the way he kisses you, all of it— it's all so full of emotion to the point you fear that you can't ever give it all back. you'd be damned if you didn't try though.

“alright, romeo, pipe it down. you're gonna get all the ladies with that line.” you joke, and chan throws his head back to let out a laugh that makes your insides twist. you try to move your head away to hide the tint of pink that's rapidly spreading across your face, but he notices anyway, a large grin plastered all over his mouth that he doesn't even bother hiding anymore. he fumbles around with his keys a little until he finally finds the one that unlocks his car, instantly opening the door to the backseat to which you usher in at lightning speed, drawing another laugh from him.

“c’mere.” he sighs once he's in too, grasping your hand to tug you onto his lap somehow despite the cramped space. you let out a noise of surprise as he settles you over him, but your hands instantly move to his shoulders to stabilise yourself, finding the familiar position you've been in far too many times. “someone’s eager.” you let out breathlessly, unable to hold back the giggle that bubbles in your throat at the way he flushes red at your observation. his hands find purchase on your waist, the smooth feel of your uniform being bunched up in his larger fingers causing your heart to beat out of its chest.

“well, yeah, but.. also, i missed you.” chan confesses quietly. “i mean, i’ve been dreaming about this for so long and now it's finally real.” he mutters in disbelief, and you can't stop the pout that forms. your fingers trace along the soft skin of his face, moving past the outline of his jaw to his swollen mouth that you've probably kissed at least ten times by today. you don't hesitate to kiss it again, lips moulding perfectly against his as your eyes slip shut to revel in the moment. chan is nothing but full of sighs of content at your actions, and when you pull away, he swears he almost whines.

“i missed you too. so much.” you admit, full and honest because you had. you'd missed him so much to the point you'd have thought you were going crazy. you missed him every day you had waken up whether or not you wanted to be aware of it, and you'd missed him every night that you'd cried yourself to sleep. and yet, here he is now, sitting with you in his lap all the way in the back of his beat up car, telling you all these sweet words that make you want to do absolutely sinful things to him.

“missed talking to you.” you boop his nose, and he smiles at you, irrevocably down bad. “missed hugging you.” your arms wrap around his broad shoulders, and while you shudder at the visible idea of how much stronger chan actually is compared to you, you sign it off as a fantasy you'll have to indulge in someday later. “missed kissing you.” you mumble, leaning in to pepper a soft trail across his cheeks. “and, most of all..” you trail off, inching closer so you're at level with his burning ears before you speak— 

“i missed tasting you.” your voice comes out in a low tone, and chan all but groans at the dirty admission. he shifts slightly underneath you as evidence of his discomfort, but you know that's only from the way you can feel him filling out his jeans. your hips purposely push down on his to grind against the slowly forming bulge tucked away behind his boxers, and he jerks forward, nails digging into the fabric of your skirt with a loud hiss leaving him. 

“don’t— don’t do that.” chan gasps out, the sight of your glossy, doe eyes instantly having blood rush between his legs. he can tell you’re in the mood to play games, but he also knows that if he goes one more minute without having claimed you in any sort of way, he might actually die. “‘m literally on the brink of it, baby. please.” you bite your lip at his small plea, ignoring the way the old nickname falls from him as the faintest hint of a smirk forms across your features. you choose to rock your clothed core on his once more anyway, which makes chan toss his head back so rough that a slight thump resonates in the air after he hits the seat. 

his gaze is hooded whilst he watches you hump your slowly growing wetness over his pants for the next few minutes, mouth parted as heavy exhales leave it alongside the rapidly rising tension between you both. one particular press of your probably damp by now panties on his bulge has him keening, which only makes you smile. “shit, you still love teasing me, huh?” he curses in question, breathy laughter escaping him at the sight of you nodding as his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. the sight alone is so attractive that you can’t resist leaning in to capture him in another searing kiss, one that’s much hotter and heavier than the previous ones.

chan’s confusion is audible with the way he voices it out loud when you suddenly pull away, but any and all complaints die down in his throat the minute he sees you shuffle from his lap, biting back the groan that threatens to rumble through his chest at you sinking to your knees instead. you’re thankful that his passenger seat is adjusted forward to give you space to sit, likely being that way from all your previous activities, or maybe it could be from anybody else he brought in during the technically no contact period you both broke moments prior to this. hot jealousy bubbles under the surface at the potential of someone else getting to see him how you do, but you swallow it down in lieu of making the most of what situation you’re in now.

“pretty girl.” chan’s voice is merely a whisper, dragging you out of your thoughts as one of his hands caresses the flesh of your cheek, leaving you to nuzzle against it. he glances at you so softly regardless of whatever erotic position you’ve put yourself in, still in utter awe at the fact that you’re here, physically and in front of him instead of the daydreams he’s often found himself imagining of you. he can’t decide whether you look like the epitome of perfection with the sunlight streaming through his windows and highlighting your face, or the epitome of sin with the predicament you’re in which leaves you situated on the floor of his car between his legs; he chooses to settle on both.

your fingers graze his denim clad thighs, and chan retracts himself from brushing his thumb against the skin of your face to hurriedly undo the zipper of his jeans. you’re more than eager to help, assisting him in unbuttoning and shimmying them off despite the cramped space you’re both in. eventually, chan’s pants and boxers are pooling around his ankles, and his leaking cock awaits prettily for any sort of relief you may be able to provide it, the tip a slight shade of red as precum dribbles out. you’re quick to swipe it off, chan’s noises at you doing so falling on deaf ears as you bring the essence up to your mouth and lick it off. the familiar tinge of sweet and saltiness invades your senses, only making the uncomfortable stickiness between your own legs grow.

“you’re so beautiful, channie.” you say after popping your finger out of your mouth, small hands instantly moving to wrap around his length and squeeze just a tad, which has chan’s chest rumbling with a moan. “gorgeous face, gorgeous body, gorgeous everything. how could i have been so foolish to almost let go of it?” you wonder out loud, eyes flickering up to him when he buries his face in his palms, getting flustered at your compliments. “my shy boy.” you giggle at his actions, mesmerised by the way he twitches in your hold when you softly pump him up and down. 

“been such a bad girl ignoring you, yeah?” you sigh in faux frustration, although a part of it is true. “no more of that, though. let me make it up to you.” you gather a wad of spit in your mouth before letting it dribble across his cockhead, smearing the saliva over it with your thumb once more. your ministrations have chan’s hips threatening to buck up in your hold, but he restrains himself, embarrassed at how worked up you’ve already gotten him without even having done anything really. “i promise i’ll make you feel so good.” you assure, eyebrows furrowing when he just shakes his head.

“no, y-you always make me feel good.” he stutters at the way your fingers squeeze just a bit harder from his words, and before he can even add anything else to his previous sentence, you’re leaning forward to wrap your warm mouth around him. 

a loud groan shudders its way past chan’s lips at how you practically swallow him whole in one go, taking him in so deep that he can feel the way his mushroom head kisses the back of your throat just a smidge. you pull off a little to let your tongue slide out and lick around the underside of his dick, another hand coming up to fondle with his balls simultaneously. soon enough, his low grunts fill the air, only prompting you to hum around chan as the vibrations of your voice shoot up his body. “fuck, angel.” he manages to utter out, a deep moan slipping out when he dares to peek a glance at you, almost cumming prematurely from the way you look up at him through your lashes. 

“wan’ you to fuck my throat. please.” you pull off of him to plead instead, rubbing the spit-stricken head of his sensitive cock against your swollen lips. the way you’re staring back at him with wide eyes, your wet muscle darting out to dip into his slit as he chokes on his own words makes him want to take you right then and there, but chan holds back, choosing to oblige your request with a shaky nod as he reaches forward to thread his fingers through your hair. you smile at him sweetly, enveloping his length back into your hot cavern of a mouth and pushing your nose flush to his pelvis.

this time, he feels his tip bump deliciously against the back of your throat, and it doesn’t take much longer for him to start slowly push himself in and out whilst gripping you in a makeshift ponytail. the sloppy sounds of your gagging fill the space of his car in an instant, and the mere sight of your tears welling up nearly sends chan toppling over the edge. he’s quick to take you off of him at that, and you’re about to protest to ask why he stopped when he cuts you off. “‘m sorry, angel, but if we don’t stop, i'll end up finishing like a teenage boy in your mouth.” you huff out a small laugh at his choice of words. 

“i wouldn’t have cared, channie. that’s kinda the goal of sex.” you point out, rising from your crouched position with burning knees to settle on his lap once more as you wrap your arms around his neck. “yeah, but..” chan trails off, his breath hitching at the way he presses up against your clothed stomach, and you titter from how he seems absolutely awestruck at the sight of you in his hold. it’s so endearing that you lean forward to press a soft kiss to his nose, letting your lips trail across his cheeks, ears and jaw before finally landing on his mouth. chan feels like he’s going to go mad when you eventually retract from him. “yeah, but?” you remind him with a smug grin, watching him blink to gather his thoughts again.

“i-i want you to feel good too.” he mumbles shyly, averting his gaze elsewhere in embarrassment as you coo. you bring your fingers up to move his face so he’s glancing at you once more, his shining eyes locking with yours and making your heart swell. 

chan’s love for you has always been selfless; he doesn’t seem to care for his own pleasure much when it comes to you and always insists on making you feel good over having himself do so. it’s one of the things you’ve grown so familiar with when being around him, and before he came along, the concept of someone being so giving had never even crossed your mind. you’re aware a part of it lies in the fact that you’re his first— first kiss, first time, first everything. it used to scare you before, making you feel like he was missing out on what everyone else could offer him by being stuck to you, but the minute the possibility of him having the experiences he shared with you with somebody else became a reality, you knew you could give less of a fuck about being selfish. 

because right now in this very moment, or two hours from now, one day from today, a few weeks from this time, and in every lifetime to come too, you wanted chan. you wanted him on his good or bad days, wanted him through thick or thin, and wanted him even if you had the chance to choose from anybody in the world. he’d become it for you, and god, were you glad he felt the same way.

“it makes me feel good when you do, baby.” you remind him, flashing him a smile that makes his insides melt. “but, if you insist, then who am i to deny my pretty boy?” chan has to bite back the grin that threatens to spread across his face at your words. your pretty boy. yours. he’d wanted to be nothing more ever since you walked into his life and now he finally had it, the idea being so incredulously unfathomable to him that he doesn’t even register you taking off your top. it’s only when your fingers graze his cheek and you lean in for another kiss that he notices you’re now half naked and straddling him, a noise of pleasure leaving his mouth at the realisation which you swallow up. your lips slot against his so perfectly, almost like they’re two pieces of the same puzzle finally meeting each other, warmth blooming in both of you at the idea of being each other’s missing link.

“no, no, just lemme pull ‘em to the side.” you pull back and whisper when he lifts your skirt to yank down your underwear. shakily, you reach below and hook your fingers into the damp material, tugging it to one end and exposing your wetness that nearly drips out of you. chan has to hold back the dirty noises that bubble inside him at the sight of your soaked panties, but even more so when you grab his length and line him up to your entrance. both of you can’t stop your sighs of long deserved relief when his tip breaches your opening, barely sucked in but still nestled inside, and before chan can beg you to put him all the way in, you’re sitting down on his cock completely, biting your lip at the burning stretch.

“fuck.” is the only thing that you hear from chan once he’s fully bottomed out, looking up to see him staring down at where you’re both connected with blown out pupils. his gaze makes you burn up, involuntarily causing you to clench to the point your boy is digging his nails into your side, leaving crescents in your skin for you to wake up to tomorrow. “missed you so much.” chan’s voice is strained alongside the small laugh that escapes him, his hips slightly bucking up and causing you to whimper as the sound goes straight to his dick. he has to physically stop himself from fucking up into you, your warmth enveloping him in the best way possible. 

“please move, princess. please.” he begs, pleas dripping with raw desire as he gazes up at you with wide eyes. it’s all the confirmation you need to slowly lift your hips up and lower them down on his, your warm walls clinging to his cock having the both of you moaning out loud at the feeling it provides instantly. 

your movements are slow, deep and deliberate with how you rock your hips in a gentle grind against chan’s length buried to the hilt inside you. the angle of your bodies locked together allows his mushroom head to breach far inside you, and it almost feels like he’s all the way in your stomach. chan’s cock has always been girthy and heavy, a large vein protruding along the side of his shaft and leading to the bulbous tip of his dick. the first time you took him, let him feel what it’s like to not just fuck his fist, he almost tore you in half with his misplaced, rabid actions. but right now, with you riding him in the backseat of his car, the windows fogging up and no doubt giving away your scandalous activities, he feels even larger in you, especially with how he pushes up to meet you halfway. 

“baby.” you mewl at a particularly well-placed thrust, preening at how his cockhead brushes against that spot tucked safely inside, and chan bites his lip at the way your face is contorted in absolute bliss. he brings one of his knobby digits up to wet it before trailing it down to press into your clit, and you almost fall forward from the sudden jolt of pleasure. “s’good?” he murmurs, continuing to rub tight circles on your swollen nub as you whimper in agreement, vision going crosseyed from how great your body feels at the moment. 

sex with chan is always an experience to say the least. you still remember the time he lost his virginity to you, rutting inside your heat freely in his childhood bedroom at a study session gone wrong (or right even) with the headboard bumping into the wall. thankfully, nobody was home that day, and you got the privilege of being as loud as you wanted, an occurrence you didn’t expect to happen because well, everything was new to chan. you hadn’t anticipated him being able to make you cum at all, but he had anyway, drawing at least one orgasm from you with his mouth and fingers before he even slipped in. the entire act had been so.. domestic. the way he’d held you, let you use him, and how he’d kissed you so tenderly, it really should’ve dawned on you right then and there that there was no escaping this. chan had gotten you in the palm of his hand from the start contrary to what he thought; you just hadn’t been aware of it until now. 

“i love you.” chan blurts out suddenly, drawing you back to reality as the confession falls so easily from his lips, and your heart races for what feels like the nth time today. it makes you fuck back onto him even harder, your actions become more fervent and desperate with how you lift your hips up to slam them back down on his cock. his car is probably rocking back and forth deliriously by now, and when you slap your hand against the glass to stabilise yourself, it leaves an imprint, but neither of you can find it in yourselves to care about that. “you’re the only one for me. always have and always will be.” chan pants out, his whimpers growing louder with the way your pussy tightens around him at his words.

“i love you.” you whine when he pinches your clit slightly between his fingers, feeling your slick juices dripping down the both of you and making a mess of his backseat. “love you so much, channie. you’re my one and only too.” chan shudders at that, wrapping a hand at the back of your neck to pull you in for a messy kiss. it’s a swap of dirty moans and spit, and chan swears he sees heaven when you slip your tongue inside his mouth to lick into it, the knot in his stomach growing closer to snapping.

“cum with me. please, baby, ‘m so close. cum inside me, please, please, please.” you pull away slightly to whimper, smashing your lips back on his to moan muffled against them. chan just nods rapidly at your pleading, feet planted flat on the floor to give him enough leverage for drilling up into you. the slight curve of his cock pistons into that same spot from before, and it isn’t long before your cunt clamps down on him with your high washing over you like a tidal wave. the tingling sensation resonates through your entire body, and you can’t stop lewd sounds from spilling out of you and into chan’s mouth.

chan follows close behind, balls tightening and limbs shaking as his cock twitches inside you. it barely takes him one, two thrusts until he’s painting your walls white in his release, warm cum oozing and almost leaking out of you with how much of it there is. curses and low grunts leave him, and it takes a minute for the two of you to calm down with how intense the spiking pleasure feels. you remain in his embrace until the ringing in your ears dies down, panting onto each other as sweat trickles down your back and his forehead. when you open your eyes, chan has still got his shut, and you lean forward to press a gentle smooch to the underside of his jaw, kissing it until he regains his composure and faces you. 

“i think i died.” he sighs in bliss at last, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at his playful remark, yelping when his finger pokes you in the side for your attitude. “better than your other side pieces, huh?” you question breathless, still worn out and tired from your previous activities. chan stares at you in pure confusion as you give him a pointed look like it’ll remind him of the girl you’d seen him with countless times at the party or outside your dorms, and it takes a while until the lightbulb in his head goes off, orbs wide before he’s bursting out in laughter. “it’s not funny, she was all over you.” you grumble at his reaction, crossing your arms across your chest.

“baby, that was just a friend’s ex who was trying to make him jealous. i barely know her.” he explains with a wide grin on his face. “although, it looks like she got to you instead.” chan chortles when you slap him lightly on the shoulder at his words, having the time of his life as you flush bright pink in embarrassment after having gotten worked up over nothing. “still, she didn’t have to call you nicknames and flirt with you.” you try and defend yourself which only makes chan shake his head before cupping your face and pressing a short kiss to your lips.

“‘m all yours, pretty girl. don’t even worry.” he reassures, eyes so full of love that it’s hard to argue against him anymore. you still choose to pout anyways, and he takes that as an invitation to lean in and push his mouth back to yours. each kiss you exchange makes you melt little by little, and by the time chan is pulling away, you’ve forgotten all about what made you mad in the first place. “so,” your ears perk up when he speaks again, and you look down to find his expression filled with slight hesitation. 

a beat of silence passes as chan struggles to find the words to say what he wants, choosing to busy himself in fiddling with the ends of your skirt that you’d failed to take off in your frenzy to claim him. you tilt your head to the side in expectance, but your eyes soften as he heaves out a breath that seems to be filled with deep emotion. instinctively, you take his hand that’s playing around with your clothes and intertwine your fingers, squeezing and dragging it up to nuzzle your face into the back of his palm lovingly in hopes it may calm him down. your little plan works, and before you can even speak up yourself to just ask what’s on his mind, chan beats you to it. 

“um, what does this make us?” he mumbles quietly, swallowing the small lump that’s forming at the back of his throat. chan doesn’t want to return to whatever it was that you guys had going on prior to what happened just now between you two, and even though you’ve both declared your feelings for one another countless times by now, it’s still unclear where everything stands, or rather where you stand. he wants you to be his, completely and fully so he can show you off to everyone, but fear gnaws him at the back of his mind that maybe that’s not quite what you want. despite what you’d said while entangled with him, he finds it hard to believe that you’d crave for the same relationship he wants, and he prays that he’ll hear the answer from you that he’s yearned for ages by now.

on the other hand, you simply blink at his words, letting them sink into your head. it’s only when they fully register that you break out into a small smile, heart sinking at how chan looks away with worry evident in his eyes. you know you’re the reason behind his reluctance to want more with you, and that it’ll take some time for him to understand your feelings are on par with his and have been for a while, or may even be further ahead at this point, but you’re more than willing to fix that, regardless of how long it takes. 

“channie,” your voice comes out soft and sweet, and chan resists the urge to tear up at the way you call his nickname with so much love. he gulps when you tilt his face to look at yours, shoulders relaxing instantly when he sees you beaming back at him. it’s insane to think how a simple happy look from you makes him feel lighter on his own feet, but with the way some of the anxiety brewing inside him seems to fade away after having gotten a glimpse of your smiling face, he thinks it’s far from implausible. 

“if it’s okay with you, and if you’ll have me once more,” you take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves before saying the next of your sentence. “then, i’d love to be your girlfriend.” 

chan’s world seems to slow down at your words, the sentence you’d just uttered seeming to have cast some sort of spell on him. it’s like everything in his surroundings fades away into silent noise or sightless objects, and he can’t stop the way his mouth falls open slightly. you want to be his girlfriend? his girlfriend? you, the absolute love of his life, the one person he never thought he could have, want to be his officially? he looks up at you dumbfounded as if you’d just presented the most disbelieving offer of all time, although he supposes you kind of have done that honestly. 

“i mean, it’s fine if that’s not what you want.” your voice drags him out of his thoughts, leaving him blinking as you start to blurt out more stuff in your nervous haze. “i’m aware i behaved stupidly and pushed you away for no reason, and maybe you said everything in the heat of the moment, and now that we’re done with it all, you’ve changed your mind and want nothing to do with me, and—“

now it’s chan’s turn to cut off your rambling, his body surging forward to capture your lips with his again, and it doesn’t take long before you’re succumbing to his touch much like the previous instances you’ve melted into him, eyes slipping shut as he cradles your face in his fingers delicately. his entire hold on you is gentle, like you’re a piece of expensive china that might break if he even so as much makes a sudden move. the way he embraces you is filled with tender, all-consuming love, and you think you might start crying once more if he continues with his actions.

“is this real?” he whispers against you, still in complete shock when you nod slowly as an answer to his question, a disbelieving laugh leaving him as he shakes his head. “you’re mine now? like you, the girl of my actual dreams?” his questions have you visibly relaxing, and any and all doubt physically leaves you as you smile back at him in approval, laughing when he hugs you tightly to his chest. “i’m so fucking lucky.” chan breathes out in content, leaving you to simply bury your flustered face into his neck at the way he sounds so utterly in awe. 

“ah, wait, no.” he suddenly starts, pulling back to look at you. his curls stick messily over his eyes, and you move to brush them back under his signature hat to get a clearer look at the features of the man you’ve fallen so deep for. “i have to ask you properly to commemorate the occasion.” he purses his lips, mustering up a serious expression that basically makes you simper, far too blinded in love to even point out or make fun of how silly he’s being. because that’s just chan. your chan. 

“y/n l/n,” chan clears his throat, taking your hand in his and holding it over his rapidly beating heart which you can feel thumping under your palm. “will you do the honour of letting me be your boyfriend?” he asks, eyes twinkling when you giggle, so enamoured that you can’t resist leaning your forehead against his, nodding instantly. 

“i’d love nothing more, bang christopher chan.”

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

[binvhs]

# han x reader. boobs boobs boobs. very short again, i just really love boobs sorry im a lesbian 😢

there is a solution to every problem. to han jisung, all his problems fade away with one single thing.

he's stressed. his hands run through his hair, messing it up more than it already is. his head starts aching from how long he had been sitting in front of his screen, from how many times he had to relisten to the same beat over and over again to try and find what's missing. but the universe is just against him today.

actually, maybe not. because as he comes home and is greeted by the warmth of your arms, when you sense the stress from his stiff shoulders and droopy eyes, when you know exactly what he needs, he could not be more grateful to the same universe he was pissed at just minutes ago.

han jisung is already hard the moment you push him onto the couch, reaching behind yourself to pull up your shirt and unclasp your bra. his hands don't hesitate to grab you and drag you beside him, mouth immediately latching to the soft mounds that spill out the moment you take off the lace piece.

you let out a sigh at the feeling of his wet tongue dragging around your nipple, his lips create an 'o' shape to suck the hard bud into his mouth.

he's messy for sure, drool drips down from his mouth and drags across the skin of your breasts to your waist. his hands are everywhere, massaging the neglected one or reaching behind you to push you more against him.

it's funny how much he moans against you, because you aren't even touching him. his mouth leaves your boob with a 'pop' before moving to the other one, giving it the same attention, humming in satisfaction.

the hum goes straight to your core and you have to fight yourself from the need to push him against the couch and ride him right there.

because he's stressed. and you know this is all he needs.

(💭) happy pride month everyone!! thank u sm for 200+ followers 🩷 this was very rushed sorry lmfao

© binvhs . do not copy, translate or repost my works.

[blackenedsnow]

Can I rq dating hcs for the main 4 postal dudes? :3 I love your writing sm

dating the dudes; headcanons

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Postal (1) Dude x Reader, Postal (2) Dude x Reader, Postal (3) Dude x Reader, Postal (4) Dude x Reader

NOTE: Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying the writing! Also I was way too lazy to find gifs for all of them so take that as you will.

P1 DUDE

P1 isn't much of a talker.

Dating him means getting used to a lot of silence.

He expresses himself more through actions than words.

If he’s making the effort to spend time with you, that’s his way of saying he cares.

Beneath his stoic exterior, he has a strong protective streak.

While he might not show affection in traditional ways, you’ll notice he keeps a close eye on you, making sure you’re safe.

He’s quick to step in if anyone bothers you.

Expect a lot of quiet, reflective moments.

He enjoys sitting with you in comfortable silence, maybe after a long day, just staring off into space.

He finds peace in your presence without needing to fill the air with conversation.

He’s not the flowers-and-chocolates type, but he’ll give you practical gifts that suit your needs.

A new pair of boots? A jacket because he noticed you were cold?

Those are his version of romantic gestures.

Despite his tendencies, when it comes to you, he’s so, so, very loyal.

He won’t tolerate anyone threatening your relationship, and he’s not afraid to use drastic measures to defend what’s his.

P2 DUDE

Dating P2 means being prepared for constant sarcasm and dark humor.

He loves throwing around snarky comments, and he appreciates it if you can keep up with his banter.

If you can laugh at his fucked up jokes, he’s all in.

Don’t expect fancy dinners or traditional dates.

You’ll probably end up tagging along on bizarre errand or getting into crazy situations.

A “normal” day might include running from a mob or dealing with angry neighbors.

P2 isn’t one to show affection in public, but behind closed doors, he’s surprisingly affectionate.

He’ll pull you in for lazy cuddles after a long day, and his sarcastic remarks soften when it’s just the two of you.

He shows love by doing things for you, even if they’re unconventional.

He also loves helping you deal with “problems” — and he has creative solutions.

He’s fiercely loyal and doesn’t take kindly to anyone messing with you.

But at the same time, he’s the type to poke fun at you just to get a rise.

His teasing is his way of showing affection, so if he’s pushing your buttons, it’s a good sign.

P3 DUDE

P3, well, kind of a disaster.

His life’s a series of missteps and questionable decisions, and dating him means you’re along for the ride.

You’ll need patience to deal with his stupid dumb dumb lifestyle, but there’s something endearing about his efforts.

He wants to be a good partner but tends to stumble over the execution.

Expect a lot of strange, poorly thought-out plans, like taking you to bizarre locations for dates or making weird, last-minute gifts.

One minute he’s trying to impress you with some ridiculous stunt, and the next, he’s getting frustrated over something small.

He’ll show affection, but it might be in odd or clumsy ways.

Expect spontaneous (sometimes ill-timed) hugs or absolutely insane attempts at romantic gestures.

But there’s an earnestness to him that makes it all kind of sweet.

Deep down, he knows he’s kind of a mess, and he genuinely wants to improve for you.

He may not always succeed, but you’ll see him trying, and that counts for a lot.

P4 DUDE

P4 doesn’t take life too seriously.

Dating him is low-pressure, but you’ll need to be ready for constant, offhanded remarks.

He’s not one for planning, so dates are spontaneous and often strange.

One minute you’re grabbing a bite to eat, the next, you’re knee-deep in some ridiculous situation.

He’s the kind of guy who’s happy to take you wherever the day leads, even if it’s absurd.

While he comes off as a guy who doesn’t care about much, he actually pays attention to the little things.

He notices if you’re feeling down or if something’s bothering you, and he’ll do what he can to cheer you up.

He’s pretty relaxed most of the time, but if someone crosses a line with you, that’s when the carefree attitude disappears.

He’s quick to step in and won’t hesitate to defend you.

His protectiveness comes out strong when it’s needed.

Like the other Dudes, his version of romance isn’t exactly traditional.

He’s more likely to show his feelings by sharing a smoke or a drink with you, casually that he loves you so much during a quiet moment, rather than through any grand declarations of love.

[httpsryu]

muse? pt.2

pairing: kang haerin x fem newjeans!reader

summary: getting a new member way long after debut and before a comeback isn't really the best idea to haerin

category: enemies-to-lovers(ish?), kpop idol au

genre: slow burn (kinda), angst, and fluff

warnings: a bit frustrating and A LOT of jealousy

a/n: thank you all for the love of pt.1 of muse!

"Up at the end is your room." Minji looks back at you, checking if you're still catching up.

You let out a nod, trying once again to grab a duffle bag from the taller's hand but yet again; she pulls it back from your reach.

"I got it, Y/N." She smiles back at you, knocking on the door at the end.

Not long after a few seconds, the door opens shortly which revealed a specific cat-eyed female. She only stares at the eldest member before trailing her eyes down to her hands full of the new addition's luggage.

"Haerin-ah, your roommate is here." Minji says, having Haerin step aside to let the both of you in.

Following closely behind Minji, you try your best to ignore a certain girl's gaze.

"You'll get along great with Haerin." The taller gently reassures you before turning to look at the other girl in this room. "Haerin, please help Y/N fit in with the room."

Haerin only swiftly nods, walking back to sit on her bed.

"Once you're done with unpacking, meet us down at the practice room." Minji smiles once more, giving you a small touch on the shoulder before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

"Your side of the closet is empty." Haerin unemotionally says, pointing at the big wardrobe in the middle. "And I'm sure you understand where your bed is."

You quickly nod, smiling with the oh so charming eyes. "Thank you so much!"

"Yeah."

Haerin seems...a little bland, to be honest?

"Practice starts in 30 minutes." The other gives you a heads up. "I'd start unpacking if I were you."

Oh!

"Right! If you don't mind, would you help me unpa-"

You couldn't even finish your sentence as the cat-eyed girl walks out the room.

Geez. What the hell is up her ass?

With a silent sigh, you can only sit on the unfamiliar ground before unpacking all your clothes and belongings alone.

The feline-resemblance female tries to cool her anger down, constantly taking small sips of water in the kitchen. She doesn't want to be in the same room with a stranger. Better yet; the new "add-on" to NewJeans.

What in the world was Min Hee Jin thinking when she chose to add you in the final solution? Haerin is positive she could never fathom the idea of it.

How good could you even be for their CEO to request you personally? Why couldn't you just stay at SM instead of ruining her and the others' careers?

With a frustrated and clearly upset expression, Haerin dumps out the remaining water from the glass before leaving it in the sink.

"All I have to do is grab my phone and cap while pretending she's not there." The cat-eyed mumbles to herself, reaching her hand out to turn the doorknob of her room.

However, she halts upon hearing laughter coming from her room.

"Y/N, if you ever need anyone to talk to or help, feel free to come to me!" Hanni's voice from inside leaves Haerin's eyebrows to furrow.

With a confused expression now, Haerin pushes the door open, grabbing both you and Hanni's attention.

"What's going on here?"

The Vietnamese female smiles, her arms wrapping around your waist to pull you in closer by her side. "I was just helping our new member unpack before practice starts."

"She's my roommate, why are you helping her?" The raven-haired honestly has no clue what irked her to say that, especially in front of you where she deliberately walked out upon you asking for help.

Hanni makes a side-eyeing face at the way her member is acting strange. "Chill! She was struggling on making her clothes fit in the space."

"Well, I can take it from here." Haerin shortly responds, her eyes gazing intently at the other's arm around you. "You can go ahead and start heading to practice, the van is already out waiting for us."

Hanni can only pout, releasing her grip on you. "Kang Haerin, you really are in a bad mood today, huh."

Before the feline-like female could open her mouth to defend herself, the Vietnamese stomps out her old room, not forgetting to bid a goodbye to you and NOT Haerin.

"She was already helping me." You simply state, turning back around to continue unpacking the rest of your clothes.

"Well, sounds more like you two were goofing around instead of doing what needs to be done." Haerin responds, a bit aggravated at the fact that you seem to like being with Hanni more than her.

You couldn't help but make a face at the tone of her. "There is something called multitasking, you know."

"There is a time in which we need to get to practice, Y/N." She replies, kneeling besides you to help with unpacking.

The silence between you two was unbearable and you can't help but to hate being near your roommate based off of the first impressions.

Being at another company's practice room was never a thought for you. You had always figured you'd be at SM forever. Who would've thought you'd be standing here at HYBE's infamous black practice room with the members of NewJeans.

"It's so big here, I feel like I could get lost if I was here by myself." You say, looking around the halls while following behind your new members.

Danielle turns around, beaming happily. "We could never leave you by yourself here!"

"Thanks Danielle." You smile back, leaving the Australian to gasp quietly at your cute eye-smile before turning back forward.

Haerin rolls her eyes from behind, trudging slowly after you. She wishes you WOULD get lost in here and never come back.

"I bet it's way different here compared to SM, huh?" Minji asks from the front.

You let out a hum in response. "Very. But I like it here already compared to being at SM."

"I'm glad!" Hanni excitedly says, linking her arms with you. "We can't wait for you to perform with us. You deserve it, Y/N."

Haerin wonders how long you've been at SM to suddenly drop the company and come over to HYBE, most importantly debuting into a group that has already debuted. Aren't you afraid of what netizens would say?

The female wonders how someone could be so selfish to their own-being. She could never leave everything like that and attempt to something even bigger.

"Surely, if Min Hee Jin CEO personally requested her, she for sure deserves to be on stage with us." Hyein nods, looking at you with a certain admiration. "I give props to you, unnie!"

Haerin gazes at you intently, wondering what's going on in your head right now. She's sure you could feel her looking upon you, she sees the way you sort of side-eyed her before replying to the youngest.

"Thank you, Hyeinnie." You could only laugh in response, however, there's pressure rising upon your body at the younger's words. "But don't expect much from me."

Wrong move.

Haerin can't help but to let out a quiet scoff, however, it doesn't get past her members nor you.

"Haerin-ah?" Minji calls out, turning around to face the feline-like female with a stern face.

Haerin hums in response.

"Is everything alright?"

Getting a nod in response from the introvert, Minji could only sigh, letting it go. But she knows something is wrong with Haerin. Can't quite put her finger on it but she KNOWS.

"Lets go guys! Practice is waiting for us!" Hanni breaks the slightly risen tension, pushing Danielle and Hyein into the practice room.

Minji waits for you up ahead, a small smile on her lips. You tilt your head at the leader, wondering what she wants to speak to you about.

"Minji, is there anything you want to say to me?"

The oldest looks at you with a gentle look. "I know it's terrifying to be placed suddenly into a new place, a new team, and a new environment. I understand very well. I hope you don't overwork yourself and just enjoy it. And if you ever need someone to listen or talk to, I'm here as a leader, your member, a friend and family."

Minji's face falls into shock as tears slowly fall from your eyes. "Oh! I-"

"-Thank you for those words." You bow towards her, the feeling of pressure levitating off of your shoulders and you can't help but to feel grateful and lucky for getting this opportunity. "I promise I won't let this team down."

Haerin once again give you one last look before clenching her jaw and proceeding to walk past both Minji and you.

"Let's get to practicing, shall we?" The older smiles, disappearing off into the very dimly lit room.

Because it's your first day as an artist under HYBE and as a member of NewJeans, you knew you had to work extra hard. Extremely hard.

Being back at SM, you didn't know when you would or wouldn't debut. Ever since the age of 6, hope continuously kept getting broken which led to motivation getting broken as well. You still worked hard but not as hard as you have to work now.

But just now, when you made a mistake during ETA, you suddenly feel your whole world crumbling down. The pressure you had back at SM taking over your entire body and you just want to huddle your knees to your chest and sob with no care in the world.

Haerin couldn't help but roll her eyes as she walks away to drink from her water bottle. There is no way the trainee that Min Hee Jin specifically requested just messed up on the most easiest move throughout the whole choreography more than 5 times already.

This is honestly just a waste of time in Haerin's head.

"I'm sorry." You immediately turn around to face the others and the dance instructor. "I don't know what happened..."

Both Danielle and Hanni are in awe at how your eyes look so sad yet beautiful at the same time.

"Y/N, it's okay!" Hanni reassures you, coming up to hug you in comfort.

However, Minji doesn't fail to notice how a specific feline-like female could only huff in frustration. The leader gets it; she does. She understands how Haerin, being one of the best dancers in the group could get irritated at something small like this. But, Minji feels that Haerin should give you a chance, after all; it is your first day.

"How about we take the rest of the day off, girls?" The dance instructor suggests, giving you a warm smile. "Let Y/N get used to this environment."

Everyone nods immediately, agreeing with the older woman.

"Great. I'll see you all tomorrow then."

Minji, being the oldest and brightest in the team, she has the perfect plan rolled up her little sleeves.

"Let's throw a small welcome party for Y/N."

Hanni notices a specific look in Minji's eyes; a little trick is getting played.

"Hanni and I will get the food while Hyein and Jihye will get the party supplies. Haerin, I want you to keep Y/N accompanied."

This has got to be some sick joke at this point.

"You've got to be kidding me." Haerin whispers to herself.

Minji smiles, leaving the cat eyed female twitching in frustration. "Haerin-ah, you're older than Y/N by three days. You two will get along just fine."

To say getting along was an understatement.

"Hey, can you accompany me to the cafeteria?" You ask, finally standing up after arranging your half of the dorm. "I can't eat alone."

Haerin looks up from her phone, for a minute; you would think she's contemplating about accompanying you. However, she just looks at you with an unreadable expression and goes back to what she's doing.

"The others will come back with food."

Great.

"Minji said that you'll accompany me though..." you can only mumble to yourself, having the other let out a short deny and sigh before leaving the room.

Haerin does not understand why she cannot absolutely stand you AT ALL.

Leaving the dorm, the feline-like female uses the elevator to the nearby convenience store. She's only going for vitamins and a refreshing drink. Surely, it would not take long. Leaving you by yourself will be just fine.

With a hum of content to herself, she nods while leaving the elevator to go into the store.

Within the second of entering the convenience store, she gets stopped by a few snacks up at front. Her mind suddenly thinks about you. Without hesitation, she picks out a couple of bags to put into her basket.

Meanwhile, your mouth hangs low while staring at the closed door in shock.

"Did she just leave?" You ask to yourself in surprise.

Never in your years of being at SM were you treated like this. And you were a trainee.

With shoulders hanging low in regret and now inconsideration on taking up this offer of debuting, you can only walk out your dorm room to go to the kitchen to find anything to eat.

Examining the many counters of the pretty big kitchen, you hear the beeps from the door's keypad being dialed in. Shortly after, the door opens which reveals the member that left the dorm earlier.

"Eat it or not; doesn't matter to me." Haerin could only say, placing the bag on the kitchen's island countertop.

Before Haerin could get the chance to leave, you cross your arm in frustration “Why are you like this?”

The cat-eyed female looks shocked for a second. She stares at you in complete silence before opening her mouth to say something.

"Look, I dont know how things worked around at your previous company but here we dont mess around during practice, it would be great if you stopped being a nuisance to others.” 

“I havent even started my official day as a NewJeans member. How could you judge me already?” 

“if you dont want me to have a bias, at least stop messing up on the choreography every step."

This has got to be the exciting yet worse day for you.

october 1, 2023; publishing date

haerin doesn't know what to do about her hidden immediate love for y/n hehehehe

part 3 is coming soon!!

taglist: @ilovekimminji

[ticklygiggles]

Miya&Mia's Tickletober Day 7 - Playtime

Lucifer x Reader

"If Asmo ever finds out I'm doing this to my hair," you commented, twirling your hair to make yourself a bun. "He's gonna get pissed."

"That is why I'm sending him a picture."

You gasped, turning around to find Lucifer laying in bed with his D. D. D. pointed at you. Your eyes widened and Lucifer's grin only got wider as a mischievous laugh escaped from his lips. 

"Luci, don't you dare!" 

"Asmo," he said as he typed away. "Look what I found your little human doing. I'm sure you've already told them how to take care of their hair, haven't you? So I left this matter at your disposal to reach a solution and- oh!"

Forgetting about your hair, you let it all down as you rushed to Lucifer. He chuckled, jumping off the bed and running away from you. 

"Come back here!" 

This was unexpected... Lucifer was rarely in a playful mode. His eyes were shining mischievously and he was smiling widely, even laughing to himself as you chased him around his room. You couldn't help but smile as well, feeling excited butterflies fluttering inside your stomach at this sudden behavior of his. 

"Lucifer!" 

"And send- ack!" 

You, surprisingly, caught him. Your arms tightened around his waist and with your momentum, you were able to push him back onto the bed. You tried to wrestle him to get his phone, but he quickly hid his D. D. D under his body. 

"What- give it to me!" 

Lucifer grinned. "Why should I? That is my phone." 

You straddled his waist and tried to hug him so you could reach back for his phone, however, he kept fighting your arms, laughing and giggling at seeing you struggling. 

"Luci!" You were a little out of breath already. "If you don't give it to me now I'll-

"You'll what?" He challenged you, showing his fangs as he smirked. 

"I'll-" Your eyes were drawn to a path of exposed milky skin. Lucifer's hips protruded from his pajama pants and your hands immediately latched to them. "I'll tickle you."

Lucifer's eyes widened, but before he could stop you, you were squeezing that terribly ticklish spot right above his hips, those little muscles that made him laugh hysterically if you got him right. 

"AHAHAHA! Lehehehet gohoho!" He cackled, throwing his head back as he weakly tried to push your hands away. 

Tickling was probably the only thing that could incapacitate Lucifer from fighting back that was why he only let himself be ticklish about a few people. You, of course, his brothers and perhaps sometimes Diavolo, just to please him. 

You giggled, feeling him kick behind you as he squirmed and tried to stop your hands. 

"I'm not gonna stop until you delete that picture," you said, your thumbs rubbing circles against those spots, making Lucifer shriek with laughter as his cheeks turned pink. 

His hips twisted, but you followed his every move easily, not letting go of him once. 

"Unhahahand mehehehe!" He said, his laughter turning more desperate the more you tickled him there. 

"I will only if you hand your phone to me," you sang, pinching his hip with one hand and making him jump with loud laughter. "Otherwise you'll die of laughter and-"

"FIHIHINE!" He cried, little tears latched to his lashes. "I'll gihihive it to yohohou!" 

You stopped and Lucifer, giggling and trying to catch his breath, arched his back a little so he could pull his D. D. D out from under him. He gave it to you and you saw Asmo's chat open, but where was the picture? 

"I dihidn't tahake anything," he said and you looked down at him. "I was joking." 

You blinked incredulously. "Ah, so you wanted to play, huh? My Lucifer here wants to be playful? Then I'll have to take care of it."

Lucifer giggled as you put his phone aside and your hands went back to his hips, tickling him all over again. His rich, deep laughter filled the room all over again. 

"How's this, hmm? Did you want me to tickle you like this so you were misbehaving?" You teased, grinning widely and feeling your cheeks heating up looking at his flushed face and smiling mouth. 

How could he be so adorably playful like this? You could tell he was having so much fun right now and your heart fluttered. 

"Hehe, someone here is very ticklish- ah, n-nohoho!" 

"Ihihit's yohohou!" He said, grabbing your waist and tickling you back. 

He soon changed your positions and now you were under him as he tickled you mercilessly, jumping from spot to spot to have you shrieking with loud laughter. 

"Cheheheateheher! Lehehehet gohoho!" 

"I will if you apologize for tickling me," he said smirking down at you. 

"I wohohon't- AHAHAHA plehehease not thehehere!" 

"Are you sure?" 

He really was having fun. Opening one of your tightly shut eyes, you could see his beautiful grin and you felt happiness rushing through him. How could you possibly stop him from acting this way when he rarely did, besides, even though you were laughing your head off, you couldn't lie and say you weren't having fun yourself!

A/N: We've got a trashy fic today huhu, wrote this in a hurry because I didn't have anything ready and I'm crying, but I hope you all enjoy it!

[calmlb]

Hi Essie!!! Hope you're doing well! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)❤️

So I had this idea for a sick!Dazai fic (that I'm honestly too tired to write dhehee), and who else is better to brainstorm it with than my fellow Dazai whump enthusiast? :D

Based on my own experience of being sick for the past week, I forgot how awful it can get. It sucks. You're feverish, your nose is either runny or super blocked, your throat hurts, you get headaches, you're lethargic 80% of the time, all that stuff. But what sucked the most for me was how hot my skin felt. Like, clothes were so uncomfortable to wear from the sweat, especially since it's still summer around here.

So imagine putting bandages into account as well?

Yep, awful.

So I present you with a scenario: Teen!Dazai in his office, has taken over paper duty (that Mori knows he isn't gonna complete anyway) because of his fever. He feels gross, to say the least. Flushed and hazy, a little nauseous and sleepy. But his skin- his skin is scorching, and there is no way for it to disperse that heat because it can't breathe. He endures it for as long as he can until he just can't.

In his haze, he scrambles to tear his bandages off, loosen his tie, and decides that he will lie on the cold floor shirtless. The air conditioner isn't enough. No one is there to stop him.

Until Chuuya barges in without knocking as usual (to discus the paperwork he also knows Dazai isn't going to finish) and stumbles onto the scene.

Dazai doesn't even acknowledge him, has already taken off the bandages around his eye and is halfway through tearing off the ones around his neck. His clothes are disheveled as he loosens them and looks like he's about to take them off.

Chuuya gapes for a solid second, before exclaiming with a blush-

"What the fuck?!"

He rushes over, trying not to look at Dazai's skin that's on display and stops him. He wraps him with Mori's oversized coat aggressively.

Dazai fights against him, exclaiming that he needs to lie on the floor. Chuuya doesn't get it, all that he knows is that Dazai is delirious, and even if he thinks it's a good idea to tear through his protective layer now, he'll definitely regret it later.

So Chuuya ties him with the coat and decides to take the paperwork to his place, along with a flailing Dazai on his shoulder.

I just wanna see Dazai giving Chuuya hell during treating him 😭 cuz even if cooling off is a good idea for a fever, not staying huddled in the warmth equates to chills and endless sneezes. Makes you feel even more awful. So it's gonna be a push and pull of Chuuya trying to warm Dazai up (in order to fight off the fever faster), and Dazai wanting to cool off (because he isn't used to being this warm and hates it), until they come up with a compromise somehow dgdhejndjd

Yeah, just a fun idea! :3 Feel free to expand on it hehe

PEA 😭 i saw this when i was having a Very Bad Day™️ & it immediately made it sm better tysm 🥺🩷🩷

UGH THE TENDER, FEVERISH SKIN UNDER THE BANDAGES ❤️‍🩹 where everything just feels like too much, i completely understand why Dazai (in his feverish delusion) would think removing the offending material would be the solution

Chuuya barging in and quickly going from 👁️👄👁️ to 😳🤬. i love that he goes into protective mode, thinking of how future Dazai will surely regret this course of action & putting measures in place to prevent that 🥺

Chuuya would wrap Dazai up like a sushi roll & carry him on his shoulder like a log back to his apartment, where he proceeds to lose the idgaf war & embrace his mother hen side (which he still denies exists)

meanwhile Dazai is kicking & fighting him every step of the way, acting more like a 5 year old than a mafia sub executive (he’s still only a kid sobs), even as he shivers with chills

until Chuuya manages to get a hand in his sweat soaked curls, gently carding through them. the coolness of his leather glove against Dazai’s overheated scalp makes Dazai go still… and then slump against the couch in a mixture of relief & exhaustion. Chuuya takes advantage of his compliance to make him agree to stop fighting him, & they spend the rest of the day resting on the couch, watching movies & playing video games (well. Chuuya plays. Dazai watches & points out all of Chuuya’s mistakes) 🩷🩷🩷

[ghoultrifle]

mushy may day six !!!!

prompt: "you're blushing"

character: aurora/cumulus

word count: 700

summary: Rory being very cute but also very incapable of putting on her shoes

notes: the solution to the infantalisation of aeon is to infantalise aurora as well /hj

below the cut or on ao3 :))

She’s the definition of grace, hopping on the spot as she tries, to no avail, to get this goddamn shoe on her foot. Aurora pulls and twists all while nearly toppling over onto every available surface in the den, “Argh! Just. Go. On,” she cries, punctuated by the thud of her still-bare left foot against the floor.

With a hop, skip, and a jump she bounds into the kitchen, met by Swiss and Cumulus idly chatting, perched on the stools beneath the island counter. “Lus! Help me, please!” Aurora pleads, refusing to give up.

Cumulus giggles, the inexperienced ghoulette shuffling like a madman in her pursuit of… she’s not sure. “What are you doing, ‘rora?”

“Hnnf- Saw Aeon could put his shoes on standing up and couldn’t let him win,” she explains. The ghouls at the counter shoot her a confused stare, “You know, the bets?” Aurora is only met with more puzzled looks. “Whoever can master fifty human things first wins?” Swiss and Cumulus look at each other before Swiss pipes up.

“And you decided putting on shoes while standing upright is a trait so human that you’re having a competition over it?” He questions.

“Well, it’s not just that! We’ve also done throwing laundry in the hamper, making small talk, carrying the most amount of drinks without spilling them, loads of stuff!” 

“Don’t forget chugging the drinks too!” A distant voice calls out.

“Hi, Ae,” Cumulus shouts back before turning her attention back to Aurora. “So this is serious stuff, huh?” Aurora nods. “Well, I don’t know about you, Swiss, but I wouldn’t want to interfere with such a strict competition,” she says playfully but with a hint of sarcasm. Swiss nods his head in agreement.

So the multi ghoulette continues in her struggle, bending, stretching, at one point it looks like she’s doing the hokey cokey. “Really?! No help at all?” The others can only smile as they shake their heads. “Ugh, fine, I’m leaving.”

It would be a more poignant bite if she were able to actually direct herself out of the room, instead Aurora is stuck going in circles in an attempt to regain her balance. “Need a hand, sweetheart?” Cumulus jokes. That’s the push Aurora needs to steady herself and return to Aeon, foot still sitting halfway in the shoe.

“I don’t remember us doing anything like that when we were new summons, do you?” Cumulus asks.

“You’re blushing, Lus” Swiss grins.

“What? No?!” She says, flustered. “That’s not what I was talking about anyway. We were nev-”

“You have a crush on the new summon!” He says in a sing-song tone. “Look at you, you’ve gone all red and embarrassed, textbook crush behaviour!”

Cumulus only blushes harder, maybe she does have a thing for Aurora. The younger ghoul is just so playful and energetic; sometimes a bit of a loser but in the most endearing way; she’s sweet as a button but fierce too and- yeah Cumulus is fucked. “Okay, maybe yeah, but what about it? You’re practically welded to Aeon!”

“At least I own it, Lus,” he smiles, nudging her. “You should too.”

Aurora flies back into the kitchen, nearly sliding across the tile straight to the sink. She gathers herself and stands proudly, “Did it!”

“I can see, rorabug, well done!” Cumulus replies, sweetly.

“Uh huh! I’m on thirty eight now,” she grins excitedly. Cumulus has no idea why she’s so charmed by Aurora but she’s not complaining. She gathers some confidence before inviting Aurora over to where she’s sat. The younger ghoul is at the perfect height for Cumulus to place a delicate kiss on her cheek. It’s not much but she’s proud of herself.

“Oh, um, thanks Lus!” She smiles nervously, turning to leave the room.

After a gentle prod in the ribs from Aeon, that means she likes you too, Rory, do it back! She turns her body towards Cumulus and with an assertive stride she gives her a peck on the lips, “Join us?” She asks. Before waiting for an answer she runs away, giggling with Aeon. Those left in the kitchen can hear hushed whispers of celebrations and congratulations at their newfound knowledge of each other’s appreciation.

Swiss shrugs and puts his hands in the air, “I’m not stopping you, go get her!”

[whumpbug]

Hello Bug!!! I'm sure I don't speak for everyone when I say that I've been wondering why Sylvia fell in love with Clint. It seems like they really don't get along and that when she was alive, they butted heads a lot over arguments about how to raise a child. She also seemed to kind of fear him (not as much as Gene of course, but enough that she seemed like she was resigned to not always being able to protect him from him)

Were things different when they first met? Does Gene blame himself for how screwed up their relationship got?

UGH thank you so much for the question this is exactly the oppurtunity i was looking for to Ramble about gene's parents because ever since i've made them, they're so important to me. they are such a huge part of why gene is the way he is. SO THANK U SM!!!

u know the drill. long post incoming under the cut.

cw: child abuse, brief suicide mention, period typical sexism

✮⋆˙

about clint:

okay so i'm going to start by talking a little more about clint. im going to give a little disclaimer first, and that is that none of what i'm about to say justifies what he does to gene, it is simply explaining why he does it. i don't personally think clint is an awful person, but his actions are awful, no matter how complex the reasoning. this is not me justifying child abuse.

so clint grew up with a father that was far, far worse than he was. his father was aggressive, violent, apathetic, and never felt bad about anything he did. the abuse that clint, his siblings, and his mother went through is unimaginable. his mother took her own life when he was 19 because of it.

because of the kind of father he had, he learned two things. one, was that he wanted to treat women with respect, because the way his father treated his mother made him sick. he held true to that. never did he ever lay a finger on sylvia, no matter how heated the argument. his respect is part of what made her fall for him.

the second thing is that he didn't particularly want kids. he didn't want to make the same mistakes his father did with him, and he wasn't sure if that was possible so the solution was just not to have kids.

then he met sylvia.

about clint and sylvia:

sylvia and clint hit it off right away. first off, he's Not Ugly. gene got his good looks from both parents, but the handsome, sharp angles were straight from his pa. clint was infatuated with sylvia's spunk and beauty and caring nature, and the fact that she didn't care what her dad thought of him. she was never ashamed or embarassed of clint, and that was healing in a way.

anyways, things happen and sylvia ended up getting pregnant only a few months after they were married.

clint panicked.

he was Not ready to be a father, he wasn't sure if he never wanted kids (especially not a son. the sad truth is i think had the baby been a girl, so many of these problems would have been solved), but this was definitely soon, and it was only made worse by how excited sylvia seemed about it. he didn't want to rain on her parade so to speak, so he never said anything. that was one of their main problems-- clint never communicated because he thought sharing emotions was not something a man should do

their relationship only changed for the worse from there

about clint and sylvia-- post-gene:

when gene was born, clint wouldn't even hold him.

sylvia was, of course, heartbroken, but she didn't push him. when he started pulling away from her and baby gene, she didn't push him. she was too busy handling a new baby, after all.

but the full change in clint was one that sylvia never expected, and it was really really hard on her

clint became cold, angrier, more reserved and aggresive, and honest became more like his father. he was always unnecessarily hard on gene, especially because gene was a boy. he fell into the same kind of patterns that his father did, and by the time sylvia realized it, it was already sort of too late.

as feisty as she was, she was still a woman in the 1800s. she didn't have the agency over her son that clint did, and though she knew clint would never physically hurt her, there still wasn't a whole lot she could do. she was also very religious, as is typical for a southern girl, and didn't believe in divorce, so she had to deal with it.

her and clint had plenty of screaming matches about how to raise gene-- they had very different ideas of how to parent. clint wanted to raise gene into the Perfect Man-- mean, tough, and strong. sylvia just wanted to let him grow into his own person, and it just so happened that gene was a sweetheart. syliva truly didn't see a problem with that.

so yea, unfortunately, gene's birth kind of did ruin their marriage. the sad fact is that if he had never been born, they probably would have been an extremely happy, healthy couple. it was just unfortunate all around.

gene's thoughts:

even when he was little, gene was all too aware that he was the cause of his parents' problems, and it destroyed him from the inside out.

when he was only 5 or 6, he used to literally wish he hadn't been born so that "mama and papa could be happy again". its actually devastating. UGH sorry i made myself sad writing that

when sylvia died, his relationship with his father only got more estranged. he lived with him for a while after, and helped him on the farm and with the chores and things like that. still, they hardly interacted. they maybe had one conversation every month or so. gene felt very isolated in those years

gene doesn't hate his father though. as awful as he was to him, he doesnt hate him because he knows why he is the way he is. a core memory for him was when, a few months after sylvia died, he walked into the house to grab his coat he forgot and accidentally walked in on clint sobbing viscerally while clutching one of sylvia's dresses. he didn't see gene, and gene never ever brought it up.

the experience sort of humanized his father, and from then on, gene thought it best to just stay out his way and try not to cause problems for him.

nowadays, gene obviously doesn't live with clint anymore, but he still visits every month, and helps with the more physically demanding chores because clint is getting up there in years. clint, without fail, sends him home with a bottle of liquor and some gun oil. its their strange little routine, but gene has come to appreciate it. his father is all he has left, after all.

✮⋆˙

i hope this answers your question anon!!! it's so interesting to explore the people that raised gene because i feel like im getting so much content to characterize him with it, so don't be afraid to ask more or request fics!!!!! i really really appreciate your questions!!!

[ddelline]

slow(ly progressing wip) saturday

blurb | bc I missed posting on wednesday, lol, and I'll likely miss this upcoming wednesday as well, given how intense this work period is, and since I can never sit down for long enough to actually flesh out and edit down a chapter into coherence & posting shape, I'm satiating my update!cravings w posting more wip snippets

premise | this is, once again, from time loop fic wip cv/sm. part 2! doing my best to just get part 1 out of the way first, but ofc can't manage to write one single piece of work w/o deviating off intended writing process and launching ahead, lmao. part 2 feat. satoru who's been through ten loops at this time, and is starting to Feel It

very wip writing under cut

Satoru bites down on his bottom lip, a snap of jaws steeled with intent. Intent to damage. He knows, and notices, that there’s no enjoyment to be derived from the easy breaking of the already so frail skin and flesh. There is knife edged satisfaction, razor sharp and destructive, to be mined from one of few conditional probability fractions which still seem to apply universally to the world, though. Inflict bodily harm, whether upon yourself or someone else—prepare to suffer and endure the (painful) effect(s).

The Six Eyes, Limitless, plus the bonus ‘blessed with moderately high IQ and deduction capabilities’ has generally meant that Satoru’s been unlikely to encounter many problems which prove ultimately unsolvable. Fieldwork, or sorting through advanced theorems—at the end of the day, solving either is a matter of when, not if. A solution is matter of fact: whether it comes easily, or post the pulling of so many metaphorical teeth, is dependent on how much time and effort he’s willing to put into it. It’s never an unknown, a hypothetical.

He dunks his head into the non-wall of Prison Realm, where he’s woken up for what’s possibly the billionth time, at this point. 

(It’s the tenth, but he doesn’t want to count. It feels like eons, like myriads—like so many lifetimes). 

Time is linear, up until the point in which it apparently isn’t. At this point, the principle of parsimony seems to be that time isn’t so much time, as it is space, bent and twisted and torn into partials—Satoru both is, and isn’t. Time isn’t, or is, but not as the absolute consequence of events occurring in succession. If anything, time, as it’s currently playing out, seems to be non-linear sequences of unknown variables, an equation to which there is no solution. He’s bending over backwards, speed running through infinite hypotheticals, adjusting ad hoc to what’s happening, only to realize that there are no consequences to whatever action taken within any said scenario. He dies, and then he doesn’t. He acts, but then he hasn’t.

Actions have no consequences. Events have no correlation. Death is, apparently, not so much a finite state which occurs ‘after life’, so much as it is ‘a blip in time and space which has no impact on anything, and which keeps fucking happening to you’. Satoru is nearly two meters of solid muscle and viciously pumping blood, wreathed in cursed energy so potent and intricately realized his very birth, once upon a time, had upended the natural cursed world order. He hadn’t ever considered the circumstances of his very being from the angle of hubris, but he is familiar with the myth of Sisyphus; after being existentially rinsed, recycled, and reset for upwards of ten plus times, he’s beginning to feel the phantom strain in his shoulders and thighs from rolling the weight and heft of a boulder uphill; the mechanics of endlessly pushing solid granite up the steep hills of Tartarus seemingly familiar.

Satoru’s never given the concept of death much more than the most cursory, practical thought—death, conceptually, is very simple: regardless of contextual application, or situational definition, death is an inevitable and absolute state which occurs to an organism post-cessation of its biological functions. Simple, absolute rules apply to ‘death’, and ‘organisms that die’: it is a state which is irreversible. Moreover, it is inevitable. Even in singular, extreme cases, such as Ryōmen Sukuna, Satoru’s always been absolutely, calmly certain that death can’t be so much cheated, as delayed. An object infinitely suspended, whether in time, space, or both, doesn’t equate negation of causality.

Satoru is nearly two meters of solid muscle and viciously pumping blood, wreathed in cursed energy so potent and intricately realized his very birth once upon a time had upended the natural, cursed world order. It’s fitting, in a sense, for someone whose conception shook the very foundations of society as it’s always been known, and whose innate abilities refuses to conform to something as mundane as a verifiable theorem—to be living, breathing proof of the verifiability of a realized, true universal wavefunction. 

Schrödinger’s cat always lives, and always dies, its existence continually realized in infinite superpositions, in some off-branching of the universe. Gojō Satoru always lives, even though he always dies: quantum suicide and quantum immortality; death as a perfectly binary occurrence.

On the other hand, just because something happens to you, doesn’t necessarily mean it translates as a universal truth. Satoru’s being alive, and Satoru’s continued dying, haven’t been fixed, only the eventual results have been. 

He digs the heels of his palms into his eyes and goes slack with despondency: his shoulders sag inwards, and his spine curves into the non-wall like a wilted C. It’s as stark a display of Gojō Satoru: strongest sorcerer, contemplating defeat, as there’s ever been. 

There’s always somewhere to go from a point where you’ve stalled. Satoru’s not sure where that is, or how he’ll manage to progress from his point of stall.

He remains still. Eyes shut, shoulders forced to drop into a semblance of relaxation. If anything, at least he knows by now that some unquantifiable force, far beyond the scope of science, mythology, or imagination, will lap him up and spit him out wherever it wants him. He’s at the mercy of the ebb and flow of the cosmos. Or a demon. Maybe his own mind—he’s not above considering the very possible erosion of his own sanity, considering everything (and after everything).

[jcmarchi]

Vivek Sharma, CEO & Co-Founder of Movable Ink – Interview Series

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/vivek-sharma-ceo-co-founder-of-movable-ink-interview-series/

Vivek Sharma, CEO & Co-Founder of Movable Ink – Interview Series

Vivek co-founded Movable Ink in 2010 and has led the company through rapid growth to a leading market position with 600+ employees serving the world’s most innovative brands. Through his leadership, Movable Ink is empowering omnichannel digital marketers to generate creative that is data-activated and behaviorally-relevant at the time of engagement.

Prior to co-founding Movable Ink, Vivek headed Eastern North America and EMEA sales for Engine Yard. Earlier in his career, he held senior engineering roles at Blue Martini and Cisco Systems. Vivek graduated with a B.S. in Computer Science from the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

Movable Ink personalizes every customer engagement through automation and artificial intelligence.

Could you share the genesis story of Movable Ink?

My co-founder and I were chatting about email as a ubiquitous channel that people weren’t thinking about innovating within. This led to him sharing a technical hack he had come up with to dynamically change an image when an email is opened. Fascinated, we investigated what could be determined from an http request (IP, location, weather, device, time of day via the  server) which was realized we could build an application server for email content. And that’s when Movable Ink was born. We started with content generation within email and expanded into other channels like mobile push, mobile app, and SMS after that. Today, the Movable Ink platform personalizes content experiences with automation and AI, helping hundreds of the world’s biggest brands build deeper one-to-one customer relationships. 

Why are dynamic images and video so important in all types of marketing?

Dynamic creative can change or adapt based on criteria, context, and/or other consumer signals. Dynamic images are tailored to create a more personalized and relevant experience for each individual who encounters them. In contrast, static creative remains the same for every viewer. The world is awash in generic content saturating every digital channel. This has the effect of squandering the rare moment of attention a customer has gifted you. As a marketer, the brand-customer relationship is everything; each moment and interaction counts. Dynamic email and mobile messages give you the opportunity to tailor each communication in the moment, and around the customer’s context.

In most email marketing campaigns images are static instead of dynamic, how does the platform enable changing images in real-time to create the most optimal customer experience?

Movable Ink’s Studio product integrates and then activates a variety of data sources to generate personalized content at the moment of engagement. Data sources could include CDPs, pricing and inventory solutions, loyalty solutions, and homegrown solutions (among others). For example, imagine clicking on an email for a great deal on an all-weather camping tent, only to find that the sale price is no longer valid, and the product is no longer in stock. It’s a frustrating experience that can lead to countless customer service headaches and, ultimately, a loss of customer attention attrition. What if that email had been up to date the moment you opened it with current pricing and an in-stock item. A smoother experience will also lead to more conversion and purchases—a win for the brand and customer. This is just one out of myriad examples of how dynamic content can deliver an optimal customer experience.

Could you also discuss how dynamic images are often modified based on location including local weather patterns?

Like all data points, weather personalization is versatile across industries. A retailer, for example, can use it to pull in the pollen count in recipients’ locations at the moment of engagement and apply clear threshold guidelines for low, medium, and high levels. Anyone in medium or high pollen level areas could see a pollen alert banner at the top, whereas the banner would collapse for anyone in a low pollen region. The travel industry can promote warm weather getaways to those in cold climates or even show the exact forecast for specific destinations. A QSR brand can leverage it to personalize experiences when it’s raining to encourage ordering in. The options are endless.

Movable Ink has out-of-the-box solutions to support location and weather-based dynamic creative. We understand where the customer is opening the email or receiving the mobile message, and we are able to make in-the-moment decisions to show the best content to that customer. And not only that, unlike others, we can also layer in other creative decisions into that asset. We can, for example, not only show you that it’s raining and give you a raincoat suggestion, but we can layer in live pricing, number of people currently looking at that coat, how many are left in stock, and up-to-date ratings and reviews on it.

Movable Ink was initially launched in 2010, how has the company evolved over the years with the advent of Generative AI?

We have two solutions that are taking into account Generative AI and the trends that follow it. Our flagship product, Movable Ink Studio, automatically generates a personalized, composite creative at the moment of engagement. Studio uses automation to generate creative content – the underlying promise of Generative AI- but does so with brand-approved assets. The idea of being able to automatically generate on-brand, personalized creative at scale is highly appealing to enterprise marketers- they don’t need to worry about using off-brand content or content that their competitors are using.

Movable Ink Da Vinci is our flagship AI solution, which automatically selects each creative (including Movable Ink Studio dynamic assets!) for every individual customer to drive short- and long-term  lift in clicks, conversions, and revenue. With Movable Ink Da Vinci, brands can use the power of Generative AI to automatically generate personalized text, like subject lines. We make sure that generative copy is on-brand, by training generative models on a brand’s own subject lines and brand guidelines.But we believe AI is much more than just generative- we pair Generative AI models alongside more than ten other deep learning models that work in an ensemble approach to ensure the best possible customer experience and business outlines.

Can you discuss how machine learning is used for creative decisioning?

Many companies are late to the party, just white-labeling GPT, and calling themselves AI companies. AI-washing a product is superficial and doesn’t serve marketers. We believe AI must be comprehensive and fully integrated into a workflow, and leverage proprietary models that take into account multiple AI and machine learning methods. We’ve built an ensemble approach using ten plus  AI models to address the personalization challenge effectively.

For example, some of our models focus on content prediction- these are called our Prediction Models. Movable Ink AI’s Prediction Models ensure the right customer receives the right content at the right time to guide them on a path of discovery. Think of the Prediction Models like a personal shopper.  It uses a  process of data-driven insights and machine-learning algorithms—based on a mathematical concept called Hyperbolic Geometry— to automatically select the combination of design, messaging, and layout within an email that’s predicted to drive the most lift in clicks, conversion, and revenue for each individual customer. Hours meticulously spent testing various strategies can now be reclaimed with a data-driven, scalable approach to automated content distribution.

How is machine learning used for Creative Effectiveness Score?

Creative Effectiveness Score is a unique metric that uses machine learning to predict the revenue potential of a single creative. The performance of a personalized creative is compared to an average version if both were sent to an entire customer base. This method removes all bias, revealing a more accurate indication of the creative’s effectiveness.

Can you discuss how brand safety is considered when using Generative AI?

While AI promises increased efficiency and accuracy, it can inadvertently reinforce and amplify existing biases. Our recent report reflects marketers’ biggest ethical AI concerns, including stereotypical recommendations (39%), discriminatory targeting (38%), and biased content (36%).

AI algorithms grounded in reinforcement learning principles may unintentionally inherit biases present in their training data. Such biases, whether related to race, gender, or other demographic factors, can inadvertently be perpetuated in the algorithm’s outputs. This is particularly problematic when the training data itself is skewed or unrepresentative. At Movable Ink, we address this issue by strictly training our models on a brand’s actual customer interaction data. Moreover, our approach involves using an ensemble of models. This methodology helps in diluting any potential bias that might exist, ensuring that our AI solutions do not disproportionately rely on a single model that might reflect skewed perspectives or biases.

We also believe in the marketer and machine working hand in hand. For example, The machine (our AI models) produces ideas but marketers are firmly in control. The marketer can enforce business rules or reject specific suggestions from the machine. The marketers’ hands are  on the steering wheel.

What are some other ways that Movable Ink enables content personalization?

The most common theme you hear from brands is the painful experience of connecting and leveraging their massive troves of data, whether it lives in different parts of the organization, internally or in external CDPs, or just how difficult it is to activate it.

Movable Ink’s Universal Data Activation capabilities unlock brands’ ability to leverage the full potential of their tech stack. It taps into all the data stored across your enterprise to generate hyper-personalized content. When these additional data sources are accessible, you can automatically generate unlimited variations of relevant, personalized content that results in more clicks, conversions, and revenue.

With all of this additional data at your disposal, you can add new layers of personalization to your content and unlock new, sophisticated use cases. Any relevant event that aligns with your unique business needs can be used to target your customers, like those who have recently downloaded your mobile app, have signed up for your credit card, or last used their loyalty points some time ago.

Thank you for the great interview, readers who wish to learn more should visit Movable Ink.

[arabellavernierwrites]

overwhelmed. s.r.

summary: when you had an overwhelming day at work, spencer is there to pick up the pieces.

word count: 612

warnings: mentions of stress, slight ranting

a/n: hello everyone ! thank you so much for being so incredible to me these past few stories. i really appreciate how supportive you all are. thank you for taking the time to read my work, it means so much to me. today i wanted to make something a little shorter, the idea came to me and i wanted you all to be able to read it. please, if you have any requests at all, send them in! i really only do reader works (meaning i don’t do ships) and don’t often write smut, but am open to the idea. thank you all so much, again! have an amazing wonderful day, love you all!

the world seemed to spin around you. as if someone had locked you in a washing machine and allowed you to tumble.

you had your days when the stress of work was overwhelming. too much paperwork, too many emails, too many people needing assistance with something or another. today was one of those days where you were simply pushed too far, and your mind was swimming.

you jostled your apartment door open, greeted by your boyfriend, spencer, leaning over the sink, washing dishes.

“hello, how was your day?” he asked as you tossed your bag, coat, and shoes on the floor. spencer looked up, a playful kindness in his eyes.

your lower lip began to quiver, his face fell, “sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

he quickly swept you up in his arms, wrapping you in his sweater, your face pressed to his chest.

you took a deep breath and tangled your hands together behind his back, “everybody needed something at work, paperwork, emails, coffee. and then my shoe broke when i was walking out of the building. my car started making that clicking sound again on the way home, my key wouldn’t fit in the door, and that stupid dishwasher is still broken-”

“breathe,” he whispered, his fingers twisting through your hair.

“i know, i’m sorry,” you quickly sucked in your breath.

“there’s nothing to be sorry for,” you could hear the frown on his face.

you had a problem with saying sorry, it worsened when you were stressed. the feeling of stepping on everyone’s toes, being a bother, occupying too much space or time. it was overwhelming on an average day, but when mixed with anxiety, it was suffocating.

“it’s just,” you stepped back, spencer’s arms remaining around your waist, “stress”.

“stress is a very powerful thing,” he spoke sincerely.

“i know,” you shook your head.

you tried to turn around, hide from the issue in your bedroom as you changed your clothes, hoping the conversation would die out.

spencer was faster, pulling you back towards him, “hey, what did we talk about?”

“not pushing you away when i need help,” you stated, quietly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“and what are you doing?” his eyebrows raised.

“pushing you away when i need help,” you tried to hide the twinge of shame in your voice, knowing you promised spencer to not go full lockdown mode whenever you weren’t feeling well.

“i’m sorry work was hard on you today. we’ll figure out your shoe before work, if your car is still making the clicking sound i’ll take it to the shop when i get home, and no need to worry about the dishwasher. i called the repairman and he’s coming over tomorrow to handle it,” he reached up and placed a hand on either side of your face, “is there anything you need? is there anything i can do to help you?”

you held back tears of gratitude for him. his big brown eyes were sweet. they were kind and gentle, filled with pure love and admiration. but you could see worry danced through his irises as he waited for a solution.

“i think a shower would be nice,” you thought for a moment, “and then we can have a cup of tea and start that new show”.

spencer couldn’t hold his smile in anymore, “which tea would you like?”

“cinnamon,” you whispered.

“we’ll go take a shower and i’ll make some while you put your pajamas on, okay?” he whispered back.

you nodded, raising your hand to hold it on the back of his, “thank you”.

“anything for you,” he leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your lips, “come on”.

[myreygn]

hello rey!! happy birthday and and congrats on passing 300+ followers!! <3

may i please request anything with lee genya or gyomei? i love those two so much! take all the time you need and i hope your feel better soon!! <3

moving the mountain

summary: Gyomei humbly asks for help with his training and Mitsuri, Tengen and Sanemi more or less humbly agree to help him. Or rather, to take him down at whatever cost.

an: thank you sm nat you're the sweetest <3 and thanks for sending in a request ofc! i went with lee gyomei for this one because i'm not really familiar with genya yet, i hope that's okay and you have fun with it! <3 (also: yey my first tword demon slayer fic :D)

wordcount: 1648

update: there is a sequel to this fic!

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

Thirty minutes. It had been thirty minutes and Mitsuri was at her wits’ end with this task.

“Distract me,” Gyomei had said. “Make me lose balance,” he had said, “I’m sure the three of you together will be able to come up with something efficient enough to disturb me.” And Mitsuri had been sure of that too, because, well, in theory it should be fairly easy to get Gyomei to lose his balance on the slim metal pole he had stuck upright into the ground and was standing on with one leg. Especially because it was him against the united power of ‘the three most distracting Hashira for entirely different reasons each’, as Master Kagaya had described them once with a fond smile on his face. Whereas Tengen had just laughed and thanked him, Mitsuri was still unsure on how exactly the Master had meant that and Sanemi had most definitely not taken the comment as a compliment.

A look of displeasure similar to the one she remembered from that day was actually showing on his face right now as he grabbed the handle of his katana. “Screw this!” When Sanemi had refused to join the exercise at first and Tengen had chipped in with a cheerful ‘I get it, you’re scared you can’t do it’, that had already been enough to rile the Wind Hashira up. Naturally the fact that he really couldn’t do it now led to an escalation of the finest order.

“Do I have to remind you that real weapons are off the table, Shinazugawa?” Gyomei smiled softly and Sanemi let go of the katana with a low growl.

“Relax, my not so flamboyant little friend!” Tengen gave Sanemi a pat on the back, only to pull his hand back immediately to avoid the following bite. “We haven’t tried everything yet, there’s no reason to resort to rule breaking. We’re gonna win this fair and square!”

“I cannot wait.” Gyomei was the embodiment of relaxation. “Although I may also remind you that this is not a competition, dear Uzui.”

“Of course this is a competition!” Sanemi spat and glared at the Sound Hashira. “Then tell me, dear Uzui, how we’re gonna win fair and square against this mountain!”

“Well, for one we could… hm.”

“What was that?”

“Hang on a second…”

“I’m listening.”

“Oh, that’s new.”

“HEY-”

Mitsuri drowned out the boys’ bickering for a moment and examined the clouds, thinking. It was no real surprise to her that it wasn’t easy to make the Stone Hashira lose balance, she just hadn’t anticipated it to be this hard. They were three against one, for heaven’s sake! It wasn’t even an actual fight, it was just Gyomei on a metal pole holding multiple weights in each hand! She looked up at him and felt her face flush with heat. He stood there like a statue, looking straight ahead!

Like a statue…?

“I got it!” Mitsuri chirped, twirling around to her fellow ‘most distracting Hashira’. Not a moment too early, apparently; Sanemi had his hands extended, reaching for Tengen’s throat, with Tengen pushing him back being the only thing that saved him from a gruesome death. Oh boy. No wonder Gyomei had been so confident to take them on, they made for a horrible team. But not for much longer! “Guys! Focus! I have the solution!”

“Kill-”

“Noo, nonono, not killing anyone!” Mitsuri put her hands on her hips and shot Sanemi a rebuking glare. “We don’t hurt each other, remember? Tengen, mind if I climb on your shoulders?”

“Of course not,” the Sound Hashira said, already scrambling down. Mitsuri heard Sanemi scoff and actively decided to not give a shit before quickly getting onto Tengen’s shoulders.

“Alright, now bring me closer to Gyomei. I’m gonna try tickling.”

Another scoff. “We already tried that, you dumb-”

“You might wanna watch your mouth around her, Shinazugawa.”

“Guys, please!” Mitsuri flicked her fingers against Tengen’s head and looked at Sanemi. “You’re right, we did. But we only tickled his torso for a bit and when that didn’t work, we didn’t try anything else.”

She was well aware that Gyomei was listening to every word she was saying, but it honestly didn’t matter. Knowing about what was gonna happen wouldn’t change the outcome: loss of balance. Mitsuri took a deep breath. It had to work!

Sanemi crossed his arms in front of his chest, following her with his eyes like a hawk. “And what should we have tried, in your expert opinion?”

“This.” With that, Mitsuri began to lightly scribble her nails over the sides of Gyomei’s neck. The ever so slight hint of a wince went through his body, aside from that he didn’t show any reaction whatsoever. That was alright. She could wait.

“Wow, impressive, it’s doing nothing.”

Mitsuri couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little. “Have you ever heard of patience, Shinazugawa? Just trust me.”

To be fair, if their roles had been reversed, she wouldn’t have had the biggest faith in the plan either. From her premium spot on Tengen’s shoulders though, she had an excellent view when Gyomei’s neck muscles tightened, when the corners of his mouth began to twitch. But when the first giggle slipped out, even Sanemi heard it.

Which didn’t mean that he was convinced yet. No, of course not, that would’ve been too easy. “Okay, he’s laughing. So? He did that before.”

“I told you to be patient, didn’t I!” Mitsuri increased her effort a little. Only to make Gyomei crumble faster and definitely not to prove a point to Sanemi. Ahem. Luckily, her plan didn’t take too much longer to unfold.

When it happened, Gyomei was far from out of breath, but his cheeks were tainted in a soft shade of pink and he was giggling without restraint. “Mihitsurihi- ghahaha, slohow dohohown…”

“Can’t do, sorry big guy,” she grinned, then she drilled her fingers into the especially sensitive spot right next to his collarbone and the Stone Hashira tilted his head with a soft squeak. Mitsuri let out a triumphant cheer. There it was. The key to victory.

“Dohon’t- yohou cahahan’t-” Gyomei’s head followed her hand when it wandered a bit to the front, his chin pressing down in an attempt to block the attack but only succeeding in trapping Mitsuri’s fingers where they happily wiggled and scribbled against the sensitive skin. “Eheheheek! Mitsurihi!”

“Ha! Gotcha now, big guy!” Deciding to up the level, she put her second hand into play to scribble on the other side of Gyomei’s neck, smiling in delight when the usually so calm warrior tilted his head to the side with a squeak, then back to her other hand and to the side again, trying to block everything at once. “Tengen, come on, help me!”

The former shinobi chuckled as he obliged, making the twitching and shifting increase in intensity. “Clever, Kanroji. You force him to move his head, which will make him lose balance, am I right?” Upon her nod he gave her leg a quick pat. “Excellent plan.”

“I mean, yeah, that’s all nice and fun, but what about me?” Sanemi stood next to Tengen, looking up at them with a scowl. “I don’t feel very included right now.”

Mitsuri was tempted to tell him that this was what he got for being so rude, but she knew exactly that she would never hear the end of it. “Don’t feel bad. You get to go for the kill, that’s the best part!”

“The kill?” Sanemi raised his eyebrows and looked at her, then his gaze wandered down Gyomei’s body and he pulled his lips into an evil smirk. “Oh. That kill.”

“Nohoho, dohon’t!” Gyomei snorted quietly. His face was flushed bright red by now, both from the tickling and the strain to keep his balance, and laughing tears were pricking in the corners of his eyes. “Stohop thihihis!”

“You know how to stop it, big guy,” Mitsuri whistled, her chest swelling with pride - her plan was working! “Or rather, we know how to stop this. Do it!”

A spasm went through Gyomei’s entire body and he let out something close to a cry when Sanemi’s fingers made contact with his knee. Mitsuri leaned back a little, trying to not abandon her own task and catch a glimpse of his work at the same time. To her surprise, Sanemi wasn’t squeezing the knee in that rough manner she was used to from him. Instead, he scribbled his fingers ever so softly over Gyomei’s stretched out knee cap, making the Stone Hashira snort and squeal repeatedly in between his laughs.

“AHA- Shihinazugahahawaha, plehehehease! Nahahat thehe knehehees!”

“You heard Kanroji, big guy,” Tengen trolled, “If you want this to stop, you gotta do it yourself.”

And then, finally, Gyomei made it stop.

The weights he had been holding dropped to the ground, almost smashing Sanemi and Tengen’s feet in the process, then the Stone Hashira quite literally stumbled off the metal pole to get away from the tickling as fast as possible. 

None of them bothered to try and keep it up. Mitsuri cheered and let herself get lifted further in the air by Tengen, then he put her down and gave her a double high five. Even Sanemi was grinning from ear to ear and hit her on the back. “Good job.”

“I have to agree, good job.” They all turned their attention towards Gyomei who was still a little flushed but had apparently caught his breath. “You managed to disturb me with something as simple as tickling.” He shook his head with a soft smile pulling at his lips, as if he was in disbelief over himself. “Well played.”

Mitsuri could sense Tengen and Sanemi tense up next to her and felt all color fade from her face when the soft smile suddenly turned into a mischievous smirk.

“Now, it’s my turn.”

[182-ash]

So if you know me you know I love sickfics sm, they have such potential for comfort and fluff. I swear karl sickfic pt3 is in the works its being written I just got in a bit of a writing slump and lack motivation lol. My solution is writing headcannons and I've chosen the chuckle boys bc I've been binging the podcast and rlly missing Charlie lately

Headcannon for Chuckle sandwich boys caring for you while sick

Charlie🥪

Definitely found out you were sick by making you laugh so hard you had a coughing fit but immediately felt guilty after

The whole time you're sick he just wants to cheer you up and make you laugh so expect many puns

I feel like he was just want to be constantly near you so he brings his work to wherever your sat bed or sofa idk

He'd probably make you tea, try to say "careful, it's hot!" and end up saying "careful, it's tea!", making u both laugh so hard you spill it and end up in another coughing fit. He apologises profusely and rubs your back until it calms down

If you have to throw up he stays with you the whole time and mutters sweet nothings

Gently scoops you up and carries you back to bed

Don't think he'd have an issue with not kissing you if he could cuddle you instead or just kiss your hand dramatically really playing up the gentleman persona

He'd be relativity chill abt meds, he knows they'll help but won't push it if you don't want any, would rather focus on keeping you fed and hydrated

Honestly just looks perfect shape for cuddles, would give you lil back rubs

I can really imagine him being the type to run you a bath and sit either on the toilet(seat down) or just outside the door until you're done

Schlatt🥪

I can imagine him finding out you're sick when you seem more down than usual and aren't joking around as much

"Hold on a sec" *drops jambo into your lap* "keep an eye on them buddy", he goes to get u some meds from the bathroom

We all know this man can't cook so he'll order u some soup to be delivered

I feel like he starts off by making fun of you and joking a bit but stops when he notices how genuinely miserable you look

If you have to throw up he'd be in with you instantly and hold your hair back but constantly over dramatic and joking "Oh god! Oh Jesus! Jesus Christ y/n what the hell"

^when your done he pulls you back to his chest and puts a cold towel on your forehead to help you cool down

Relatively persistent with meds as he knows they'll help you feel better but will be understanding and helpful if you struggle (I can see him making 'shots' jokes if you've gotta take the liquid stuff)

Complains abt your movie choices and won't hesitate to switch them over once u fall asleep

Constantly saying "y/n if you get me sick I swear- " but doesn't stop kissing you so gets sick and is a big baby abt it

Ted🥪

So I feel like he'd be another one to notice when your not as upbeat but he doesn't realise why at first

^ maybe he goes to hug you and then he notices just how warm you are when you lean your head against his shoulder "Hey honey you feeling alright?" "What can I do to help love"

Just wants to help without being overbearing

I want to cry I just lost half of what I'd written for Ted and I was basically done :(

I feel like he'd be another to run you a bath then sit and chat

Is also chill with meds but will try persuade u a bit 1st tho

He'd be focused on making sure u rest

^no-one really mentions this much but he'd do some chores to take the stress of and help you relax e.g washing up or cleaning.

If u have to throw up he'll be rubbing your back and holding your hair then handing u water after

^cares lots abt hydration

Will watch movies with you all day

^just wants you to be comfortable

Okay with not kissing u but wants to hold you close

Hates seeing his s/o this miserable so can't wait for u to be better

I can't think of anything else so thats it for today but enjoy

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 3

Dagur and Hiccup working together.. That's crazy but we love to see it

Also Toothless' facial expressions on ep1 are so good

- and the way Hiccup screamed "I hate you" after Dagur abandoned him was so sad 🥺

- TOOTHLESS TRUSTING DAGUR ENOUGH TO LET HIM RIDE HIM 🥺🥺

I love how Hiccup and Fishlegs always reward their dragon

Cavern Crasher - scavenging mystery class, pushes dragon out of their home and takes over, extremely fast, it's mucus becomes flammable when it hits the air, feeds on the other dragon's eggs, collapses it's skeleton and squeezes through cracks.

Dude I remember when I couldn't watch the Crash Course ep(2) bc I thought it was boring but I've come to appreciate it more. IT'S JUST SO FUNNY! We have the twins being... Well the twins and then we have proud, overprotective Snotlout SINGING TO THE BABY FIREWORMS 🤩

No bro but the way Hookfang and the Fireworm Queen combined their firepower

And the lil Hiccup and Snotlout moment at the end🥺🥺🥺

GOTHI TALKED❗️❕❗️❕

They treated Fishlegs so harshly 🥺 like I get why Hiccup would be mad at him but still like 😞 [ep3 with the night terrors and the lost civilizations ]

- i love how Hiccup felt bad after he treated Fishlegs the way he did

Fishlegs hugs >>>

Snotlout: I'm having Asia Fondue. Something seems oddly familiar

Hiccup: Snotlout, are you trying to say "deja vu"?

Singetail - its first appearance was in ep4, can fire from almost any part of its body -> mouth, tail, & underbelly.

Both Snotlout and Spitelout are trying to prove themselves to Hiccup and Stoick

Even tho ep4 is not one of my favorite eps I really liked how Spitelout and Stoick were ok at the end

BUFFALORD SOLDIER ONE OF MY FAVORITES

- bc of Hiccstrid ofcccc😭🤩

The Scourge of Odin - plague that tore through the Archipelago centuries ago, wiping out entire Viking villages. It moves swiftly, overtaking it's victims in less than 3 moons. Cure: green solution made out of the saliva of a Buffalord

The way both Hiccup and Snotlout seemed so worried🥺

Buffalord - all hunted to extinction during the Scourge's last outbreak, big, has ram- like horns and lives on the plains, extremely strong.

"I can't imagine a world without you in it"

THE WAY HE HOLDS HER🥺 nonono and the way he carries her and lightly touches her shoulder and holds her hand 🥺 I can't -

The way the dragons went crazy was kinda scary

Grimora - rare parasite that attach themselves to dragon and release a toxin that causes them to turn wild.

Stormfly loves bath time

Love how the water looked in this episode 🥺

Not all of them making fun of Fishlegs for having a girlfriend

Heather and Fishlegs 🥺🥰

Why is windshear kinda spoiled..

Hiccup was just kidnapped and Toothless is being forced to fight now

The way Astrid is so smart and gorgeous and beautiful and UGHHHH I love her 🥺

And Hiccup standing up for Toothless even tho he can't really do anything about it :(

OK BUT ASTRID'S EXCITEMENT WHENEVER SHE REALIZED THEY WERE OK AND THE WAY THEY HUG 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Triple Stryke AMAZING DRAGON I LOVE IT SM

I got chills whenever they freed the dragons and whenever they were shooting the ppl that paid for the dragon fights

Do I love them? Yes. Yes, I do.

BBY DEATHSONG IS SO ADORABLE

Tuff comes up with the craziest names, but Ig Garffiljorg the Deathsong has a certain ring to it 😩😶🤩😂

THE DEATHSONG REALLY WENT FOR THE KILL... HE REALLY SHOT CHICKEN AND WAS ALL LIKE 😏😋

CHICKEN PASSED OUT HAHSHABAVVA

HICCUP AND SNOTLOUT AND THE TWINS SINGING OMG

THE 🔥INFERNOOO🔥 OMG YESS and the way he got so excited to start working on it more 🥺

The Quakens feel the vibrations of the Earth and they're extremely strong

FISHLEGS DOING THE HAND THING ON THE QUAKENS

Dagur riding Toothless will never not be funny "why'd you do me like that bud?"

Just found a mistake! In ep11 Hiccup sends Snotlout and Heather out so he can teach Dagur how to ride a dragon without Heather killing him. Then, he has to go to his Hut to get a spare leg and leaves Dagur alone WHERE HE'S FOUND BY THE GANG INCLUDING SNOTLOUT-

Dagur and Fishlegs forming a friendship

Heather crying for Dagur is so heartbreaking dude like she's gone through so much 🥺

Sir Ulgerthorpe is hilarious 🤩

GOBBER JUST FOUND HIS DRAGON OMG YAY I LOVE HIM 😩🥺

Astrid and Heather being extreme badasses👏🏼 we love to see it 😍

In ep12 whenever they get caught Astrid puts her hand on Hiccup's shoulder and Hiccup responds to this by putting his hand on top of hers AND I JUST CANT WITH THESE LIL MOMENTS! and the change in music too🥺

AND JHDHSHAJAHSA TUFFNUT RUNNING AGAINST THE WALL AND RUFF NOT BEING EVEN FAZED but when she realizes she smiles HAHDHHSHAHA

AND THEN HER TELLING HIM TO TRY AGAIN

I love grump (Gobber's new dragon)

Gobber fighting Ryker- iconic

Astrid saving Hiccup and Meatlug saving Toothless🥺 I love them and the way Hiccup looks up at her with his wet hair 😩

Dude it's so like Astrid to not tell whenever she's hurt bro

SHE REALLY WAS LIKE "it just grazed me" when she had to pull the whole arrow out of her leg

Sarcastic Hiccup>>>>>

The fact that the twins can actually be super smart whenever they want to

Astrid is so badass bro like she really caught the darts that were abt to hit her and Hiccup plsss

Mala, Queen Defender of the Wing being voiced by Adelaide Kane reminds me of Reign so much like SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER

Eruptodon - The Great Protector

[triptuckers]

Looking at the wrong one - Jesper Fahey

Request: yes! “Firstly, I just want to say I really love your writing! I’ve had this idea for a while and wanting to find someone to write it because I love it so much. So basically reader has feelings for Kaz but he’s obviously in love with Inej so she confides in Jesper who comforts her and she eventually realizes that he’s been the one for her the whole time. I hope you can write it but if you can’t that’s totally fine too!!” Pairing:  Jesper Fahey x reader Summary:  Jesper is the first person you go to when you need advice about something - or rather, someone. It takes you a while to realise you’ve been sneaking glances at the wrong person. Warnings: none Word count:  2.7K A/N: I loved this request sm!! been busy busy busy lately so sorry if your request is taking a while for me to write, finish and post! enjoy reading :)

You glance over at Kaz while he’s explaining the blueprints laid out in front of everyone. You’re trying to pay attention to what he’s saying, you really are, but it’s hard. It’s hard to focus on what he’s saying when Kaz is the one who’s talking. 

There’s no denying it, Kaz looks good. For weeks you tried to push your feelings away, but soon what started as a little crush developed into something more. And now you can barely keep your eyes off of him. 

There’s just something about his mysterious aura. The dark hair, sharp jaw, how he never seems to smile - though you did catch him smile once when he thought no one was looking. There’s so much you don’t know about him, and you’re dying to find out. 

Apparently, you’ve been staring at Kaz for a little too long, because you feel someone nudging your shoulder, and turn to face them.

‘You know.’ mutters Jesper to you from the corner of his mouth. ‘If you want to talk about it, or just need to rant and have someone listen to you, I’m always here. I’ve heard I’m excellent company.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ you say. ‘Do you think we can pull this job of?’ 

You hoped Jesper wouldn’t ask about Kaz again, and he senses your need to change the subject.

‘We better.’ he says. ‘We can score big with this one.’

Jesper starts talking about what he’s going to do once the job is done, but your eyes are already shifting back to Kaz. You can’t help but to feel a knot in your chest as you see him looking at Inej.

While you’re always looking at Kaz, you catch him looking at Inej. 

Inej is one of your closest friends, and you would die for her. Hell, you almost did die for her a couple of months ago. Still, you couldn’t help but to feel jealous of her. Of the way Kaz looked at her.

Whenever Kaz was looking at Inej and you caught him, it didn’t take long for you to fall down a rabbit hole of insecure and jealous thoughts.

You’d think of everything Inej can do that you cannot do. She has a gifts for knives, you know your way around guns, not knives. When she’s sneaking around, she almost becomes one with the shadows, you couldn’t soundlessly sneak up to someone even if you tried. 

You always concluded Inej was better than you on more than one aspect. You figured she would be a better match for Kaz than you could ever be. You were ashamed of being so jealous of your friend when all Kaz did was look at her. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get rid of the jealousy. 

After Kaz has rolled up the blueprints and everyone went over the plan one last time, you say your goodnights and all head back to your own rooms. You’re barely aware of your movements as your legs carry you to your room. When you move to open the door to your room, a familiar whistle makes you look up.

‘The offer for some company still stands.’ says Jesper, and he winks at you before entering his own room, next to yours in the hallway.

While Jesper didn’t have Kaz’ gift for coming up with plans, he wasn’t stupid. He had caught you looking at Kaz a couple of times, then decided to speak up. As soon as the opportunity presented himself, he’d taken you apart from the others and confronted you about your staring. 

You were shocked, asking him how he could have possible figured it out. Jesper merely raised his eyebrows and told you you’re always looking at Kaz. You hadn’t realised you looked at Kaz so many times. Ever since, Jesper has offered a listening ear. And though you appreciated it, you weren’t ready to talk about your feelings just yet. 

As you’re taking your boots off, your mind wanders to Kaz again. And the way he looked at Inej. He didn’t show his feelings that often, but you couldn’t help but notice how soft his eyes were when he looked at Inej. It drove you crazy, and you didn’t like that it did. You felt like you were going to explode if you kept pushing these feelings down any longer. Maybe having someone listen to you didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.

Not bothering to put your boots back on, you get up and leave your room. You take a few steps to get in front of Jesper’s door. Though it’s not that late and he’s probably still awake, you hesitate. What if he just wanted to be a good friend, but wasn’t actually interested in your thoughts on Kaz?

You sigh and shake your head, clearing your mind. You then raise your hand and knock on the door. After a few seconds it opens, revealing Jesper. He’s taken off his coat and boots, leaving him in just a shirt and a pair of trousers. He smiles when he sees you.

‘I see you do want my company?’ he says. ‘Only if you don’t mind.’ you say. ‘Of course not.’ he says, stepping aside so you can enter his room.

You take a seat in the only chair in the room as Jesper closes the door. He walks over to his bed and sits down as you tuck your feet under your legs, getting comfortable.

‘So.’ says Jesper. ‘Am I problem solving or listening?’

You frown at his words. ‘What does that mean?’ you ask him.

‘Well, it’s the easiest way to prevent a fight.’ explains Jesper. ‘If I’m problem solving, I’ll give you advice and come up with solutions. If I’m listening, I’m just going to shut up and, well, listen. So, am I problem solving or listening?’

‘Listening, I guess.’ you say.

‘Alright.’ says Jesper, leaning back against the wall and stretching his legs in front of him. He gestures with his hand to you. ‘Let it all out then, love.’

You don’t know where to begin. Jesper is patient as you’re searching for the words. Without realising, you start to play with your fingers, a habit of yours which you do when you’re thinking or anxious.

‘It starts... Well, when I became a member of the Dregs, I guess. I was young, but Kaz was around my age. We became close friends. That is, as far as being close friends with Kaz goes. I trusted him, he trusted me. We spent months working our way up to the top and along the way you tagged along, and Inej, Nina, Matthias and Wylan. I care about all of you, but there’s just something  different about Kaz.’ you tell him.

Jesper looks at you but doesn’t say anything. He’s just listening, exactly like he said he would.

‘It started off as an innocent crush. Saints, I sound like some school girl. Anyway, somewhere along the way that little crush developed into something more. And now I can’t stop looking at him or thinking about him. And now that I’ve said this out loud, I realise you are the first person I’ve talked to about this.’ 

You’re silent for a while as you look at Jesper. You were afraid he’d laugh at you, but he’s just sitting on his bed, looking at you. 

‘I can tell there’s still something else on your mind.’ he simply says. You let out a sigh and nod, and start talking again.

‘He’s always looking at Inej. Whenever I look at him, he’s looking at Inej. I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do, but I cannot pretend it doesn't make me a little jealous. The first time I saw him looking at Inej, I wished he looked at me like that. I know this sounds stupid, but I really can’t help it. And once I catch him looking at her, I start to think about how I’m not worth it.’ you say.

Now Jesper frowns. ‘But you’re worth it.’ he says. You chuckle softly and shake your head.

‘She’s everything I’m not. She’s pretty, she’s very skilled with her knives, she can sneak up to anyone without being seen or heard. She knows the secrets of everyone in the Barrel. She could take down the Merchant council all on her own if she wanted to. I can’t do that.’ you say. 

‘I know I said I was listening, but can I just offer you one piece of advice?’ asks Jesper. You nod. ‘You say you notice the way Kaz looks at Inej, I have noticed that as well. He looks at her the way you look at him. Don’t you think you should try to admit to yourself that he’s only going to be looking at her, and not you?’

‘Deep down I know that.’ you say softly. ‘But I can’t fully wrap my head around that. Not just yet, at least.’

‘Alright.’ says Jesper. ‘Maybe not now, but if you give it time, maybe it’ll hurt less.’

You look at him and smile as you get up. ‘Thank you Jesper.’ you say. ‘This is nice. Having someone listen to you.’

Jesper gets up as well as you walk toward the door. ‘The door’s always open to you.’ says Jesper as he opens the door for you. ‘You can always swing by.’

‘Thanks.’ you say as you step out onto the hallway. ‘Goodnight, Jes.’  ‘Night, Y/N.’ he says as you walk the few steps to the door of your room.

After that conversation, your nightly visits to Jesper’s room increase. Sometimes he’s problem solving, sometimes he’s listening, and sometimes you just sit in silence when all you want is some company.

There’s even one night in which you actually fell asleep when you were sitting on his bed, and when you woke up the next morning, you found Jesper sleeping on the floor while using his coat as a blanket. Your heart melted a little, but you decided not to speak up as you snuck out of his room.

Weeks pass, and slowly your visits turn from seeking advice about Kaz to enjoying a conversation with Jesper. He makes you laugh as he tells you stories about how he used to drive his parents crazy doing god knows what at their farm. In return, you tell him about the life you lived before you came to Ketterdam.

Another couple of visits later, and you’ve almost completely forgotten that you originally started visiting Jesper to talk about Kaz. You notice you’ve stopped sneaking glances at Kaz. You’re not even jealous when you catch him looking at Inej again. 

Instead, your attention is on Jesper. More than once, he caught your eye and sent a wink you way, making you smile and turn away.

Your nightly visits increase even more, and you can be found in Jesper’s room almost every night, laughing at his jokes.  

After a particularly long night that involved keeping tabs on the security of one of the banks for hours, you find yourself in front of Jesper’s room again. Kaz had sent you out on the job, and you had hoped Jesper would be in his room when you got back.

But after knocking three times, he still hasn’t opened the door. You whistle a familiar tune, hoping he’d answer the door. When he doesn’t, you kick over a tiny tin can that sits on the floor next to the door.

‘So predictable.’ you murmur as you bend down to pick up the key that was underneath it. Knowing Jesper probably wouldn’t mind, you let yourself in and walk over to the only chair in the room.

You let yourself settle in and reach out to take the deck of cards Jesper always keeps on his nightstand. 

You’re fooling around with the cards, if only to keep yourself busy as you wait for Jesper. You’re shuffling the cards, moving them smoothly in your hands.

‘Can you teach me that?’ 

At the sudden voice, you drop half of the cards. You hadn’t seen or heard him coming. Jesper chuckles as he walks over and stands behind you, looking out over the city beneath you.

‘This is my favourite view.’ he says, looking out the window.

‘Mine too.’ you say, while you look at the reflection of his face in the window. You then fully realise you haven’t talked about Kaz in weeks, that you just come to Jesper’s room for a conversation and some company, and you remember the night he slept on the floor.

‘Jes?’ you ask him. ‘Yea love?’ he says. ‘The other night when I was here-’ ‘Care to specify which night?’ 

‘I fell asleep, and when I woke up you were sleeping on the floor.’ ‘Oh, that night.’ he says. ‘Well, would you rather I had pushed you off the bed?’ ‘No.’ you laugh.

Jesper laughs too and you look at each other in silence afterward. It’s a comfortable silence, and he’s the first one to speak up.

‘You haven’t talked about Kaz in a while.’ he says. ‘Finally realised his heart belongs to someone else?’

‘Yes, well, I realised that so does mine.’ you say. This makes Jesper frown. 

‘Already moving on?’ he says. ‘Thought your feelings for him were more serious.’

‘They were.’ you say. ‘But I've found someone who listens to me, who sees me, who makes me laugh.’ you cock your head to the side a little and look at him. ‘Nice to look at, as well.’

Jesper raises one eyebrow.

‘Who is this mystery person?’ he says. ‘And am I problem solving or listening?’ ‘Well I hope you’re gonna do something else.’ you say. Jesper frowns again, making you playfully roll your eyes.

‘Not the smartest tonight, are we?’ you say. ‘Let me repeat it: I've found someone who listens to me, sees me, and makes me laugh. and not bad to look at.’ 

He’s still frowning. ‘Another hint?’ he says. ‘This is why Kaz does the planning and has the brains.’ you say, laughing.‘Rude.’ says Jesper.

‘It’s a he, and he’s caring and sweet, sometimes struggles to sit still, loves a good gunfight, he’s an excellent shot.’ you say.

Jesper smirks at you and then fakes a look of confusion on his face. ‘Still not getting it.’ he says. ‘Tell me more about him.’

You laugh and get up, standing close to him. ‘He’s not just an excellent shot, he’s the best damn sharpshooter in Ketterdam. Saved my ass a couple times as well. Owns a pair of stunningly hand made revolvers. He’s Zemini, taller than me, and..’ your voice drifts off.

‘And?’ says Jesper, stepping closer to you. ‘And I've been wondering if he’s a good kisser.’ you say softly. 

‘Well, let’s find out, shall we?’ says Jesper and he cups your face with both of his hands and presses his lips against yours. They’re soft, and you can taste a hint of his last drink on them. He kisses you gently but passionate, and takes a  breath when he pulls away.

‘Hmm.’ you say, pretending to think. ‘Yea, pretty good.’

‘Pretty good?’ says Jesper. ‘I've heard I'm more than a pretty good kisser.’

‘Prove it then.’ you say.

Jesper smirks and pulls you in for a kiss once more. This one is different, it’s more demanding, and leaves you breathless as you struggle to keep your knees from buckling. 

He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. ‘How about that?’ he says softly.

You smile and press a quick kiss to his lips. ‘You live up to your reputation, Fahey.’ you say. ‘You’re an excellent kisser.’

‘Just like I thought.’ says Jesper. ‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’

‘I would love to.’ you say.

You spend the rest of the night talking with Jesper until eventually, you feel yourself falling asleep. You feel how Jesper moves next to you, to take his spot on the floor again. You lay a hand on his arm to stop him, silently telling him it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor.

Kaz wasn’t the right match for you, Inej is. But Jesper certainly is your match.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[mrsmctominay]

Heyy, love your work sm!!! I was wondering if you could do a fluff alphabet for rashy. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t already in your list but if it was sorrryyy, just ignore this! 🤍

Fluff Alphabet- Marcus Rashford

A- Activities He loves playing football with you in the garden. The way you get so happy when he lets you win or the way you watch to closely when he teaches you a new skill.

B- Beauty He loves your smile. It gives him butterflies. Seeing you happy makes him happy. But something about your smile is oh so beautiful.

C- Comfort He talks through the situation from start to finish with you, trying to find the root of it all. Then he will ask if you would like some space. If the answer is no, he will take you on a nice walk to take your mind off of the issue.

D- Dreams Marcus can imagine having 2/3 kids with you. It's something that he really wants.

E- Equal Marcus is naturally dominant, but he doesn't have to be the one in control all the time. He doesn't mind being laid back and letting you make some decisions sometimes.

F- Fight If it's a pointless argument, usually he will just walk away and let you cool off. But if it's something serious he will get angry and shouty to begin with until he realises that shouting isn't the solution.

G- Gratitude

When you first got together, Marcus didn't think you would have as big an impact on his life as you have, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

H- Honesty Marcus has absolutely nothing to hide. Anything you ask, he will answer. You've both always been very open with each other. He doesn't have a problem with telling you anything.

I- Inspiration You really helped him to become less tense, so I suppose you changed him in that kind of way. He has a softer side to him now, which he is thankful for.

J- Jealous Marcus becomes intimidating when he's jealous. Very up-front and vocal about it too. If someone is making him jealous, he will let them *or you* know with his face.

K- Kiss Your first kiss with Marcus took your breath away, he was very good at it. He kisses you very passionately, with lots of love. He always has to give you a kiss before one of you leave's the house, it's his way of saying goodbye.

L- Love He confessed his love to you on a boat on holiday, at this point you were still in 'the talking stage' so it was perfect. He held your hands under the sunset whilst standing on this boat and just said it, no hesitations.

M- Marriage He's always known that he wants to marry you, the only question was when. He thinks about it all the time, you looking amazing in your wedding dress with your little children running at your feet.

N- Nickname His nicknames for you are mainly darling and angel, or a shortened up version of your real name.

O- On Cloud Nine It's super obvious to Jesse, but maybe that's because they are together the most. Of course he talks about you to the other boys on the team but to Jesse it's a little bit more.

P- PDA He doesn't mind it as long as it's not too OTT. He will hold your hand and give you a hug but nothing too handsy, maybe a peck on the cheek every now and then too, he likes his privacy.

Q- Quirk He's very good at surprising you. Birthday parties, presents. Whatever it is, you're very unlikely to find out. You don't know how he manages to get away with it because you're like the nosiest person ever but he pulls it off every single time.

R- Romance Candlelit dinners with strawberries and champaign and soft music in the background is his kinda thing. He dresses nicely for you (when does he not, lets be real) and wears his nicest smelling aftershave.

S- Support He will push you to your limits, you hate him for it in the beginning but when the outcome comes, you're always very thankful for him pushing you so far.

T- Thrill He likes routine on certain things, like mornings and nights. But dates and other things (wink wink) change up sometimes when you feel them getting too repetitive.

U- Understanding He understands you very well, he knows when to give you space and he knows when not to give you space. In the beginning of the relationship, you were a bit hard to read but now he can read you like a book.

V- Value Marcus is good at making time for you, despite everything he does in life. You're very important and you're the main thing that gives him a stress relief so of course he values your time together.

W- Wild Card He leaves you a little message via the ring doorbell when he leaves for training in the morning. It's his chance to tell you he loves you if you were still asleep when he left. You keep them all in a little folder on your phone to look back on when you're having a bad week.

X- XOXO

At the end of a long day of training, there is nothing better than the feeling of a warm cuddle off of his girlfriend. It's what he looks forward to at the end of the day.

Y- Yearning He just focuses on his game, on training and whatnot. He does a good job at hiding it when he misses you, most of the time. Of course Jesse can see right through him but that's a given.

Z- Zoo We all know Marcus LOVES his dogs, and you do too. You both love having the fur babies running around all the time.