#Raf on the other hand...there's a lot of lost time to make up for.

[painted-bees]

Sometimes you just need to be held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to you.

I mentioned before how Raf doesn't really get anxious before a show, and genuinely enjoys performing on stage--but that the most difficult part of a performance for him are the hours right after a show has finished, starting from the moment he walks off the stage.

Almost every single time, no matter how fun or well executed a performance was, there's a kind of quiet terror that follows him off the stage like a dark shadow and infects him once he's left the safety of the stage lights.

He becomes uncharacteristically furtive, and while he will answer when spoken to, his responses are simple, short, with a kind of sharpness in tone that suggests a level of defensiveness. Like a child awaiting a harsh scolding. Because that's kinda...what he is, in that moment. He is waiting to be kept awake into the early hours of the morning by a lecture about what he did, what he didn't do, what he should have done differently, what needs to be improved upon before the next time. Or he's waiting to be told that he's gonna be on his own for a few days, because the people who are supposed to love and take care of him are "too disappointed to fairly manage him" right now. Or he's waiting to be dragged into a busy room populated by strangers he's supposed to impress while he's casually, conversationally picked apart in front of them by the person who brought him there in the first place; the person who wanted to show him off.

It's a frustrating reaction to have...He's not a child, he's a grown ass man--and he owes venue staff, and his bandmates, and everyone else backstage a modicum of respect and kindness, and to thank them for their work, and to revel in the completion of a good show. But he's not really...he can't do that. He comes off as quietly despondent at best, or kind of a stuck up asshole at worst. When he did shows with Lacey, she called it his "post-performance tantrums" and exercised very little patience for his 'immature sulkiness' following concerts. And the low mood would persist for a solid week then after.

Once he started doing shows and stuff with Margie, she'd initially wonder if his poor mood was because she had done something wrong, or didn't meet expectations, if it was a bad show.... It wouldn't be until the following day before Raf could find himself in a state of mind where he's able to explain what he's feeling, much less why. And...for whatever reason, he's reticent to offer the most simple explanation to her--because saying "it's a ptsd thing, just give me space and patience and don't take it personally because it's nothing to do with you" comes with the risk of being asked other questions about himself and his upbringing that he's not comfortable getting into and--it's a whole thing, in his mind. So the first few shows together are consistently...a bewilderingly negative experience for Margie, in that it's a very tense, quiet, insecure and shame-ridden 24-48 hours after the show--followed by delayed revelry days after the performance with Raf finally able to reflect positively upon the experience and assuring Margie that it actually was a great performance, and that he had a lot of fun--and they're able to recall their favorite moments together, etc.

Unlike Lace, though, Margie never digs into him about his behavior. She just mirrors his silence, and then--very uncomfortably--gives him space because she doesn't really know what else she can do, and--assuming she's the problem--she doesn't want to risk messing things up even more, since she doesn't know what she did wrong in the first place. And, you know, there's only so many times Raf can reassure her, too late, that she was great, actually. And so he finally does relent to telling her that this is just...how he is after a show, that it's no one's fault, he's not mad at her or anyone--it's just ptsd. That's all he tells her, and, as per always with Margie--she doesn't try to pry out more information from him about it.

Margie goes down her own little rabbit hole of research instead, and comes to Raf with the idea for a new post-performance routine (communicated with staff and such before hand to ensure accommodation) wherein they don't try to gladhand, or pack up, or do literally anything for the first half hour after they walk off stage. Instead, they find a quiet, dimly lit corner somewhere away from everything and just sit, and rest, no expectations, no obligations, nothing. Raf agrees to put this idea into practice, and it quickly evolves into, well idk... Being held and gently rocked like a child by someone who means something to him.

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Well, it's time for my hcs. (Mostly UM and KO)

Ultra Magnus has a terrible CPTSD. Sometimes he hears a plane and immediately transforms his hands into blasters. When he talks to someone he tries to continue the dialogue, but all his attention goes to figuring out the location of the enemy. (+ he has bad sleep schedule)

I'M also has a terrible case of 'bad things happen to bots when I leave them'. He doesn't like staying away from the battle, because he cares very much for his new found family. He isn't afraid of dying for the cause, but he doesn't want to lose anyone.

At the free time he has helped some Autobots make their battle skills better. Like he spared with Miko in Apex armor so she could practice her punches and also had classes for medics (Ratchet and KO). They didn't have blasters, which is disadvantage, but they figured out the way to fight almost as good as others.

Speaking of KO. He wasn't very welcomed at team at first, so he was watched very closely. Yet sooner or later they've warmed up to him. KO was a bit afraid at first, but seeing that they meant no harm, he came back to his sassy attitude.

Also KO has some appreciation problems. When he was a decepticon he had to earn the respect and after Shockwave came along he felt very replaceable. He wasn't thanked for his work half as much as he should. So when Ratchet thanked KO in 3 season he genuinely said "you're welcome".

But the moment he felt he was accepted into team prime was when OP didn't let him on some mission. It went like "Why can't I join?", "Knock Out, comrade, you aren't in need of another warrior, yet we may use the help of a second medic." "We can't just lose medics around. Too important." Ratchet adds. After like the whole team nods. And KO felt so appreciated

After that he became very close to Team Prime and (if they stayed on earth) to kids. When some bully is rude to Jack, KO would let Darby drive himself in school just to show off. He'd watch horrors with Miko, and even tell some interesting stuff abt Cybertronian culture, organism ect to Raf

Also he'd race with Bee and Smokescreen, but he is hella competitive. Like this scene in Avatar The Last Airbender, where Azula plays volleyball. "You'll never rise from the ashes of humiliation!" "Dude... It's not that deep bro.."

Oh, and he'd be very awkward with Smokey cuz like... He tried to open him up. But Smokey doesn't mind it, saying that they're even after he put KO in the wall

The other very strange relationship he has with Bulkhead. It's because of Breakdown. Bulkhead hated him and, as we all know, KO was in a relationship with him. Bulk ofc doesn't hold anything against KO for his relationship, yet they'd have a lot of different opinions on BD. They would talk a lot, finding out more about BD's past

And boy oh boy he had a wild one. Him and Bulkhead were born in the same class. They were builders, as Bulkhead said 'I can build stuff, I can break stuff. That's all.' Yet both of them wanted to do more good in the world, so they joined the Wreckers (before the war it was a gang that helped everyone in need and protected the weak), where they've met. Bulk and BD quickly became brothers in arms but the war seperated them

Once BD heard a broadcast of Megatron's ideas of reforming Cybertron and became a great supporter. He joined the decepticons cuz he thought it was his chance to make the world better. He was so blinded by Meg's promises that he thought this crimes were justified. Bulkhead was more observant, and felt something shady and was grossed out by bombings. But the thing that brought them apart and made them enemies was BD's betrayal. Early in the war Megatron was merciless and Wreckers mostly opposed him. Breakdown pledge allegiance to Megan. He wanted whole gang to join, but they refused and Big M wanted to destroy them all. Breakdown told the location of their hideout, and when Wreckers met there, they were greeted by pistols. It was a big fight, some lives were lost. After that BD went with Decepticons and Bulkhead with the Autobots. Now Bulk hated BD for his betrayal

KO never knew abt that cuz he met BD later. Knock Out was a doctor in one of the neutral cities, that were captured by Decepticons early in the war, and decided to join the "winning team" Just to survive

After all the talks Bulkhead started to respect KO more

Knock Out, Bee and Smokey regularly forcing the gang to go to the drive in theaters.

Arcee, June and Miko have a girls nights where they judge everyone

OP and UM are very close. To the point they're mistaken for brothers (they call each other that in private)

Ultra Magnus doesn't like to show affection in public, so when someone wants to hug him or smt like that, they always ask him to another room. Like after OP came back in season 3, Optimus said smt like "Ultra Magnus, old friend, for a word". And then they are just hugging in another room

Optiratch. Just them. Married. Conjux endura. That's all

Megatron, Soundwave and Shockwave are mean girls.

Megasound cuz you can't stop me. And Shocky just third wheeling his spark out.

Shockwave actually started to like Starscream when they were left on earth.

Agent Fowler and June dating, cuz they both deserve better

KO, Arcee and Ratchet form a widow club after the film.

KO and Arcee beat Arachnid's aft together.

That's all for now.

[spikezonebby]

Hiii!! Can I request a gn!human reader song fic with the song Everywhere, Everything by Noah Kahan, with Tfp ratchet,

maybe some angst of ratchet realizing how frail his human is, and how he’s going to lose them eventually?

Everywhere, Everything - TFP!Ratchet/Human!GN!Reader

Word count: 1,352

Cybertronian protoform could score and dent, but ultimately all it took was a bit of filler and a bit of sanding to make it look as if nothing had happened. Organic flesh, though? Stitches, antiseptic, and time, then you’re still left with bumps, ridges, and discoloration that would take more pain yet to smooth away.

Ratchet had treated more than a few human wounds. Miko’s scraped knees, asphalt and gravel chunks in Jack’s hands, and the occasional bloody nose from Raf. You, though, could pinpoint the exact moment that the gears really started turning in Ratchet’s processor that things really, REALLY could be worse.

It was when Miko, in all her infinite wisdom, thought it would be fun to make everyone watch one of the Final Destination movies. The amount of car wreckages and graphic, often cartoonishly so, carnage wouldn’t be easy on anyone’s stomach or, uh… Fuel pump, in Bulkhead’s case. You had no idea Cybertronians could vomit but the floor behind the sofa has personal experience. 

Bumblebee tapped out immediately after to ‘go on patrol,’ as Raf had translated. Arcee wasn’t really paying attention and was much more enthralled with watching Jack play with a language app on his phone, occasionally giving him hints and pointers. Miko ended up abandoning her movie to go and wrangle Bulkhead, and of course, Optimus had other things to attend to. Which left just you and Ratchet.

You were going to offer to go do something else with your guardian when the medic’s servo cups around you, scooting you against his thigh. And, well, it’s hard not to feel safe when you’re securely held like the world’s dumbest hamster between two different surfaces of warm living metal. You push yourself up on his thigh, laying yourself as flat against his plating as possible to catch his attention.

“Yes?” He tacks your name onto the end, but his optics are affixed to the screen and his expression has this pinched look of concentration. 

“You okay, doc? You’re looking a little green around the gills.”

“What gills are you…” His optics finally flick down to you and it seems he registers the figure of speech. You love it when he gives you that funny, confused and exasperated look. He just looks so cute.

“I’m fine. Just thinking is all.”

Oh, there we go. There’s the dam breaking. You let him know you’re listening by looping your arm around his thumb and coaxing him to curl his digits loosely around you. His expression softens, especially when you press your cheek into the crux of his thumb and forefinger.

“How has your species survived when things like this,” He gestures to the screen with his off hand, “Can happen in the flicker of an optic?”

“The movie? Ratch, a lot of this is highly dramatized and takes astronomical amounts of bad luck.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say we’re brimming with good fortune around here.” Ratchet says with an audible grimace.

“Well,” You wrap your arms around his thumb, then press a kiss to his pad, “I still think I’m one very lucky human.” 

It is then, that you fear, Ratchet was thinking about a little more than just how accident prone humans tend to be. He scoops you up in his servo and holds you to his chest until you’re close enough to his workbench for you to set him down.

Ratchet snorts a chuckle, but he doesn’t seem wholly convinced. His index finger comes around and gently strokes down your back as the medic bot becomes lost in thought once more. The movie ends and everyone who’s left– Just you two plus Arcee and Jack, really– Returns to their stations. Ratchet takes you with him back to the medbay so you can ‘help him test something.’

“M.E.C.H was certifiably insane but they knew what they were lacking.” Ratchet muses, knocking his knuckles against his own chassis, “Humans are soft, squishy, and vulnerable. Of course some kind of armor would be the logical choice. Not certain why your evolution hasn’t started developing something of that sort, you have animals that have done it already.”

“Probably because we’re not animals.” You point out, letting Ratchet go about taking tons and tons of tiny measurements with various rudimentary tools kept in the medbay, “Well, we are but not that kind of animal. And evolution takes millions of years of environmental pressures to stimulate. Instead of getting tougher, humans evolved to be smarter. Don’t have to protect yourself from a situation if you can avoid being in said situation to start with.”

Ratchet actually has to pause in his measuring to give you a long, weary look.

“Okay we you’ve seen evidence of this, Ratch. Example A, Miko and Raf.”

“Alright, alright.” Ratchet sighs, taking a seat at the workbench before you. “You have me there. I’m not giving up so easily though. There has to be something I can do.”

“Babe,” It’s your turn to sigh as you pat your hand against Ratchet’s forearm plating. “You’re like three degrees off of going full Shockwave, I can feel it.”

Ratchet sputters, “I am not! I actually have a medical license!”

“Ratchet,” You say his name as a fond, tired note that you mean with so much love, even if you know he might not listen to you. “Come down here for me, please.”

He’s still just a little offended by the Shockwave comment, but he leans down anyway, resting his weight on his arms so his face is level with you. Immediately you flatten your palms out on the white kibble on his cheeks. He leans into your hands, and you take the opportunity to bump your forehead– Or rather, your entire head– between his red chevron brows.

“Talk to me, doc.” You say, as his optics finally meet your gaze, “Where’s your head at?”

His expression screws up, like a kid that just licked a lemon, but you hold him there and you let him find his words.

“...I can’t be there all the time.” He begins, clipped and shamed. You don’t interrupt him. When he lifts his helm up and away from you, he doesn’t leave you entirely and instead cups you in both of his servos. “I hate the thought that something might happen to you and I won’t be there to save you.”

“Ratchet…”

“And we can’t just lock you up here with us! Primus, the kids need someone looking out for them while the others are off getting the slag beat out of them.”

“Ratch, I’ve been surviving most of my adult life on my own. I’m capable of getting myself out of a scrape.”

“That was before you got pulled into all of this war nonsense! And I wish Optimus would just listen to me when I say you would have been better off if you couldn’t prove we were real and then maybe the ‘Cons couldn’t find you.”

“...But then we wouldn’t be partners.”

Ratchet sighs, optics slipping shut as he tries to compose his thoughts. He shakes his helm.

“And I… I almost hate that thought more than seeing you hurt. Almost.”

You know he means it. You know how much he cares about you and what he’d sacrifice just for your sake. But he’s forgetting one vital thing.

“My feelings matter here too. And I can tell you with absolute certainty… My life is better, richer, with you guys in it.”

You reach up and coax your big medbot back down to you. He obliges, and you happily flatten yourself out against his cheek in a hug.

“I don’t ever wish not to be here, because then I know I’d lose one of the most important things in my life. You guys– Arcee, Bee, Bulk, Smokey, Optimus, you– are my family. And I can’t see myself anywhere but right by your side.”

Ratchet’s vocalizers make this low static rumble as he leans into you, cupping your tiny body against him in his servo.

“Gah, you’re sappy.” Ratchet grumbles, you just laugh.

“I mean it, though.”

“Yeah. I know you do.” 

[assortedseaglass]

The Seamstress & The Sailor - Chapter Seven

Tom Bennett x OFC

[Masterlist]

Warnings: Language, World On Fire Spoilers

Word Count: 3.7K

Note: I like to imagine the banner is of Tom writing letters in his bunk. Can't wait for Chapter Eight!

November 1939

Dear Tom,

Another letter, I am impressed.

This one almost slipped me by – Dot opened the door when Dennis Warley came by with the post. I wanted to make some new trousers and ordered a pattern from the haberdashers, and it came with your letter. Apparently he said it’s good men don’t want me because dadda has someone to look after him when he’s old. You know what Dot’s like. Cora said she launched herself at Dennis and the post almost wasn’t delivered.

Her and Cora are still at the factory, though missing your Lois and Connie enormously. We had a letter from Albie yesterday. He’s in France now, helping with the refugees from Poland. Luckily he’s not been in too much danger. With them and Albie off in Europe, and you at sea, our world has become a little lonelier.

There was a dance the other night at The Palais, though the women outranked the men by about four to one. Makes a change. There is a great deal less drunkenness and wandering hands, but we do miss you all. And I’d happily exchange Walter Watson. I don’t suppose you’ll have heard about that? Was in France for two weeks and got invalided out. Not shot by the enemy like he told us, worst luck. Albie said in his letter that Walter was having it off with a Polish girl when her father found them. Well, he’s come back with his arm in a sling and is somehow as handsy as ever. Tried to put his hand up my skirt. Even Queenie Warren told him where to go. She’s been ever so down in the mouth since you all left, men were her sole source of entertainment, though I heard her and Frank Smith have been writing.

Cora is blue as well. Her Roger has been training every hour God sends. They’re expecting the RAF to start regular flights, though what, we’re not allowed to know. I suppose, that’s my main news – Roger got me a job at the Air Transport Auxiliary. I’m making planes, constructing the wings mostly. I love the smell of the metal and the oil, and working with my hands. Roberta is here too, though she’s driving the goods vans. Hattie and Jude have left to help the Land Army prepare for spring. They’re not too far away but they work round the clock.

I was listening to the wireless when I got your letter. There have been rumours that the government will ask most women to do war work next year. There goes the hope we’d be down Belle Vue in the spring. I’m glad, though, that the government has realised we are capable of lifting more than a hairbrush and lipstick, even if it has come at the cost of war. We’re more than just objects to colour men’s lives. Perhaps with all this war work, more of us will start wearing trousers and Dennis Warley can piss off. They mentioned rationing, too. Think it’ll affect the likes of Robina Chase more than us, but I don’t think Dadda will manage without sugar in his tea. Heaven forbid they cut eggs and bacon. Of course, that’ll mean no new clothes for a long while. I don’t mind but Dot will be distraught.

Dadda’s been spending a lot of time with yours. They go out on these long walks round the dockyard. Sometimes they even stay up later than me. I can see them in your kitchen, just talking. It did make me laugh the other day – sat there in their chairs by the fire, they look just like Mrs O’Connell and Mrs Flaherty down the road. But then I suppose, they have each other because they lost their husbands. Now, our dads’ have each other because you and Albie have gone.

What is it like there? I want to hear everything. How are the other lads? I hope you’re getting along. There’s a map on the wall at the factory and when I look at all that ocean, I imagine you in a little paper boat skittering across is. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think of Albie, and of you. Do you think His Majesty will let you home for Christmas? Good for morale to let his soldiers come home. We’re hoping Albie will.

I had the thought that I should speak in letters from now on. Everyone is always telling me how quiet I am, yet here I’ve been writing pages and pages to you. I know I’m not good at talking, not like the others, but I can say it here – I miss you. Please, for me and for your dad, keep yourself safe. And write again soon.

Your friend,

Bess.

P.S. Make sure you write to Douglas, he’s suffering from missing you both.

Bess placed the finished letter in its envelope and wrote the address.

Tom Bennett

HMS Exeter

c/o Royal Navy Auxiliary

Portsmouth

Once the ink was dry and she had traced her finger over his name once or twice, Bess ate the remaining crust of her toast, drew on her blue jumper and cycled to the Air Transport Auxiliary factory. Straddling the cool metal of the planes as she drove nuts and bolts into their wings, Bess thought of her mother. She and Douglas had been courting during the Great War, but unlike Bess and her sisters, all she had to do with her time was wait. Wait for Douglas to come home with nothing else to occupy her thoughts. Bess was sick with worry, so much so that when she woke in the mornings without the churning of her stomach, she felt something was wrong. It wasn’t until sleep had faded and she remembered the war that the feeling returned, and she felt normal again. These few hours of respite at the factory, while they didn’t sway her fear, certainly calmed her. And who knows where these planes might go? Over the heads of Albie, or Tom, defending them from above? Into sun-kissed clouds, skirting heaven? And here she was, one of the girls making them fly.

By the time Bess finished her shift, grey clouds were low over Manchester and night was descending.

“Do you want a lift honey? Looks like it’s gonna chuck it down.” Roberta asked as they left the hangar. Bess declined, and they went their separate ways. Along with the other women, all covered in dirt and sweat, she meandered towards the factory gate, where a group of jeering men stood in a circle. At their feet, someone was on the floor, scrabbling to reach paper that was blowing away in the wind. As she got closer, Bess saw that they were boys, not yet eighteen perhaps. Except for one. Walter Watson.

“You’re a fucking disgrace,” he was saying to the man on the floor. “Handing out that horse shit.” The boys around Walter laughed. As they did so, the man on the ground stood. He was taller and broader than them, his face craggy with woe and as he turned, Bess saw the weary eyes of Douglas Bennett. She continued walking forward as passers-by ignored the altercation.

“Fucking coward,” one of the boys said. “Stood here selling your fucking peace paper when our lads are out fighting for their lives. For your life!” The youth jabbed bony his finger into Douglas’ chest. Bess was feet from them now, and still Douglas did nothing. It made her proud not to see him back down.

It was easy to infiltrate the circle; she was the smallest of this beastly party and each man was too focused on their abuse of Douglas to notice.

“You know Walter got shot!?”

“That’s not what I heard.”

They froze, and every face turned slowly towards her. Grease streaked her face and she reeked of metal and oil. The hands that had been folded across her chest slipped into her pockets and she leant slightly on one leg, hip jutting just enough to remind them of her womanhood. Some of the younger boys, who knew Bess only by her reputation, swallowed. Walter, who had known Bess long enough to watch her grow from witchy little girl to one of the most bewitching women in Longsight, looked ready to combust. Caught somewhere between anger and fear.

“Our Albert said a Polish fella broke your arm when he caught you balls deep in his daughter.”

Walter spluttered and his gang of underlings remained silent, shocked by the coarseness of her language. Douglas laughed.

“Did he really?” His smile was broad as he looked at Bess and she beamed back. She snatched the papers that Walter held in his hand and passed them to Douglas. Neither spoke and the argument was won; one by one, the boys shuffled home.

When the last of them had disappeared from sight, Douglas spoke. “Thanks, love.” Bess merely shrugged and began walking away. “If you’re heading home I’ll give you a lift.”

“Free bus ticket?” Bess said.

“No,” Douglas laughed quietly, and walked towards the bike resting against the factory wall. “Hop on.” He held the bike still as she perched on the handlebars and leant back against his shoulder. Bess shrieked at the first few wobbly turns of the pedal as Douglas adjusted to both of their weight, but soon, they were racing along the streets of Manchester towards home. “Used to take Lois home like this if she’d had a long shift.”

They were silent for the rest of the journey. Occasionally, they saw someone they knew and Bess would wave. From behind her, Douglas touched his cap. When she hopped of the bike outside her house, she turned to Douglas. “How is Lois getting on?”

“They’re working her hard. It’s an awful lot of toing and froing between camps. But she said she gets a thrill from singing for everyone. Nice to be doing her bit, you know.” He looked at the ground as he spoke, and Bess hummed.

“And Tom?” Bess tried to keep her voice measured.

“Barely hear from him. Last letter said he was on shore leave for a day or two, enjoying himself too much, no doubt”.

“I’m sure they’re fine, they can look after themselves.” He nodded solemnly. “Goodnight, Douglas.”

✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼

Over the next few weeks Bess developed a routine that, while unable to ease her worry, made the time go faster. It went thus; each morning she arose before her family, as always, and began breakfast. Cora would join her, and together they fed the family before each parting ways to their various jobs. Between nine and five, she worked at the factory. Lunchtimes were taken at the dockyard with Fergal. At five o’clock she helped Douglas Bennett hand out Peace News, and at six he cycled them home. The evenings she wasn’t with Roberta, Hattie and Jude, or repairing clothes (she had taken the task to make a little more money), she spent at the Bennett house. Be it cooking dinners, listening to Douglas’ opinions on the government and the war, or simply sitting in amicable silence, Bess found she increasingly enjoyed his company.

She had always liked Douglas. When the children were little Fergal, Etta, Douglas and Marie had taken them on picnics to Blackpool or Southport. Tom and Albie always ran into the surf and terrorised Cora and Lois. Dot was still small, making sandcastles while Etta and Marie talked the day away. Inevitably, Bess found herself trailing Douglas as he pointed out patterns in the clouds or interesting shells. Even now, Bess was drawn in by the gentle eyes set in his stoic face. The small smiles he offered when something had pleased him. The unshakable sense that maybe, just maybe, Douglas Bennett was the best of men.

Tonight was no different. Bess sat in a chair opposite Douglas, finishing some silk stockings for Queenie Warren. How she had been able to afford them, God only knew, but Bess enjoyed the feel of them slipping over her skin like water. Douglas was reading the newspaper. Every now and then, when Bess paused to rest her eyes, she caught Douglas glancing into the middle distance.

“Memories or visions?” she asked him softly. He sighed and removed his glasses.

“These days, they all blur into one horrible nightmare.” The silence resumed. Bess cast aside the stockings and took Douglas’ hand in hers, gently rubbing it with her thumb. He studied her a moment.

“You’re an odd lass,”

“So people say,”

“And a kind one.” She paused her movements and looked at him. “You should be spending time with people your own age, not barmy old men like me.”

“You’re not old. And I like spending time with you.” It wasn’t a lie. Douglas was a quiet, calm realist much like herself. Perhaps, if she had been born fifty, even thirty years ago, she would have liked him more. A thought occurred to her.

“I think you and Tom are more alike than either of you care to admit.”

Douglas huffed by way of a reply, then spoke. “He’s more like his mother than me. They both are. I don’t suppose you remember our Marie too much?”

“I remember her laugh, and that mam loved her.”

“Yeah,” he smiled and looked at Bess’ hand stroking his own. “Everyone did.” He paused once more before continuing. “What if Tom ends up like me, Bess?”

“What do you me-”

“What if he comes back from this God-awful war a shadow of himself? He’s so bright and full of life, like his mother, what if it disappears? If he comes back at all-”

Bess thought about her next words carefully. “We can’t know if they’ll come back. Tom, Lois or Albie. But we can live in the knowledge that death won’t diminish our devotion to them. You and I may not agree with war, but they’ve gone not because they blindly followed everyone else, but because they want to defend those who can’t defend themselves. And I am so proud of them. My Albie, and Lois and Tom.”

They were silent for a while as Douglas considered her words. Then, quite unexpectedly, he kissed her hand and placed his own on her cheek. The image of his son flashed across his face and Bess blushed.

“Off you go, Bess. Your family will be missing you.” The abruptness of their evening’s end took Bess by surprise, but she gathered her sewing, kissed Douglas’ cheek and left.

Dot was warming her feet by the fire when she opened the door. Cora was reading next to her.

“Dadda’s down the pub,” Dot spoke without looking up. “But you’ve stolen his drinking partner.” Cora pushed Dot’s leg with her foot, not looking up from her book.

“What do you mean, Dot?” Bess was in no mood to argue. Dot looked her sister dead in the eye.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Douglas.”

“Yes?”

“It’s not proper,”

“For God’s sake,”

“All these men on the go,”

“Me and Douglas are not ‘on the go’. And which men!?”

“There’s a letter on the bed for you.”

Bess’ heart stopped. “A letter?”

“Yes. Another letter.” Dot tried to sound aloof but her need for gossip got the better of her and she sat up in the chair. “Who’s writing to you, Bess? That man Tom punched?” She received no answer, for Bess was racing up the stairs to their bedroom. The letter was set against her pillow, and at seeing the familiar scrawl of her name, her heart leapt. Bess ripped open the envelope and found her seat in the window.

Dear Bess,

Thanks for your letter. Your writing is doing wonders for my reputation – the other boys don’t get half as many as I do, and most of them are from their mams. We’ve got a wall full of pictures that girls have sent the lads. Fancy sending one to add? Maybe you all oiled up at the factory. Lot of lonely sailors in need of entertainment, and God knows ENSA won’t be sent out here.

I wish I could be down The Palais. Not because I miss the dancing mind. We’ve not seen a woman for weeks and the thought of them all dancing together makes me weak in a way that has nothing to do with my sea legs. Tell us about it in your next letter, with all the details. Which reminds me, lay off Queenie Warren. I know she’s annoying but she means well. I don’t think you know how intimidating The Vaughn Sisters are!   

I’m writing this as we come into dock. Can’t tell you where exactly we are, for obvious reasons, but I’m looking forward to putting my feet on solid ground for a few days. Resupply means shore leave. I know you’d spend it looking in museums, walking and hunting down fabric, but for sailors it’s a different game altogether. It’ll be straight to the pub for rum and beer, before hitting the town. All hands on deck there, if you see what I mean.

I’m getting along with the other lads just fine, thank you for your confidence. I’ve got plans to spend shore leave with Vic and Norman. Vic’s Mancunian too, reminds me a bit of your Albie. Head screwed on proper and he’d have your back in a fight. You’d like him. Norman’s a little green, but Vic and I will put him right. Said we’d bring him to Longsight when we’re home, I have a feeling Dot would eat him up. He’d love it. She likes a fella she can boss around doesn’t she, your Dot? Norman will probably bring Terry along – he’s the wireless operator. Wouldn’t say boo to a goose, which is unfortunate considering he’s in the navy.

You’ll be glad to hear I’ve kept out of trouble, though Campbell and Ginger have me contemplating the many uses of hawser every now and again. Campbell’s First Officer, decent enough bloke but he’s a posh twat. Doesn’t know how to speak to us but God, he does try. Ginger’s actually called Henry. From the East End and thinks he’s a real geezer. Always bossing Norman around and lording it over the rest of us – he was an Able Seaman before the war so even though we’re all the same rank he thinks he can give us orders. No-one would care if I pushed him off the dock so I might give it a go. Burn this letter in case they catch me, it’s evidence.

Sounds like Walter has had all hands on deck too. Surprised he managed to pull a girl, didn’t think the bloke could kick his way out of a wet paper bag. I have half a mind to kill him before the Jerries do. If his arm hasn’t healed by the time I get back, you’d better tell him to watch out. Dennis Warley too. Don’t think he��s one to comment on what people look like when the rat-faced pillock hasn’t touched a woman since he came out the womb. I wouldn’t change you for the world, Bess, and anyone would be lucky to have you by their side whether that’s your dad or your husband.

Look after yourself, and give a kiss to Cora and Dot for me.

Tom.

p.s. I’ve written to dad.

Bess reread the letter, trying to hunt out any details she might have missed. She couldn’t help but be disappointed by Tom’s letters. They were never as long as hers, and he refrained from telling her anything of substance, just the goings on of the ship. It wasn’t like their evenings in the kitchen, when he’d tell her everything. Perhaps, he needed the silence and Bess supposed he couldn’t send her a blank page to signal his internal thoughts. She tucked the letter in a book, kissed the picture of Tom she kept in its pages, ignored her visions of Tom in the arms of a strange woman while on shore leave, and wandered downstairs.

“So? Who’s your fancy man?” Cora looked up at Dot’s question.

“Who says it’s a man?” Dot looked annoyed at her sister’s answer but said nothing, switching on the wireless to fill the silence.

“Warsaw now lies in ruins, while Germany and Russia continue to carve out Poland between them. At sea, the Royal Navy are focusing their efforts on scouring the South Atlantic in search of the notorious German pocket battleship Admiral Graf Spee. Rumoured to be somewhere off the coast of Argentina, the deadliest of Hitler’s Kriegsmarine has been involved in a number of skirmishes with merchant ships. There is a feeling that the Allied Forces are simply hoping that the inevitable will never come to pass-”

“Tom’s out that way, isn’t he?” Cora said softly.

Bess nodded. “Somewhere, yes.” The three sisters were silent, portraits of Albie and Etta looking down at them from the mantel as they waited for Fergal to arrive home. Across the road, Douglas switched off his own wireless, donned his cap and made his way to the pub. Bess watched him through the window as he made his way down the street, and her stomach gave a lurch. All these lonely souls left at home, severed from their loved ones with no knowing if or when they’d see them again. The horrors of war were unimaginable, but nobody talks about the living dead left behind.

Note: Happy Easter everyone! Sorry this chapter has taken a while, I’ve been so busy! I know some people reading this haven’t seen WoF (you should) – Douglas is a bus conductor. We’re with Tom A LOT for the next chapter 😊 While my paternal grandmother made munitions, my maternal grandmother (a seamstress) made planes – glad to have given the girls the same jobs as my grandmas’. The Palais, where Bess goes dancing, was where my Grandma used to go too. World on Fire is so intertwined with my family due to where it is set, it makes my heart sing! Here is my maternal grandmother looking fantastic.

Tags: @aemonds-wifey @multiple-fandoms-girl @jessssica1234 @babyblue711 @anditsmywholeheart @allthefandomtherapy @valerie977 @bookwyrmsblog @phantomontheinternet @chainsawsangel @greenowlfactif @thelittleswanao3 @yentroucnagol @skikikikiikhhjuuh @just-emmaaaa @beiigegalx

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

Final part! Thanks for coming along for the ride. More of the mafia au will likely be posted today, I really want to write some death scenes in between some irl craft projects.

Meanwhile, aboard the Nemesis, Megatron was scheming. Due to the war, they were running into a bit of a gene pool problem. Namely, throwing an entire city state's worth of genetic diversity into a blender and creating a mass produced army out of whatever gene sequence it spits out had worked to preserve diversity and allow the lower ranks to continue adding to the population without ruining evolution for the future, but it also meant that the genetic makeup of any offspring born was a crapshoot. Unfortunately, being a grounder was a very, very dominant trait.

But, the human converts were special in that they had a completely new set of genetic traits. Sure, Dani would likely be a helicopter, but compared to archived gene sequences, she would be comparable to a bot that came from a long lost and isolated colony, perfect for putting some variety back into the gene pool. But first, the obvious problem was that she hadn't been converted yet.

The discoveries were made on Miko and Raf's genetic testing results, not hers.

And, of course, she was far too small to be a good carrier or even a Sire, not without heavy medical intervention, and Megatron already knew that even encouraging her and Blades to bond would be an arduous task.

Luckily, Shockwave had done plenty of growth tank experiments in his time during the war, and had the science down to an easily repeatable procedure, one, when tested, that can be bundled with the conversion process, as long as there is enough access to the subjects bloodstream at time of submersion, particularly in the extremities.

In other words, Megatron has to cut Dani's arms and legs to get the liquid cyber metal to her feet and hands.

This is going to be fun.

Megatron had never before been able to use a blade on a human before, preferring to either shoot or squish them on the battlefield.

Megatron walked into the two autobot turncoats' berth room, Dani glaring at him from her little pile of blankets, shivering in her oversized garment that had replaced her flight suit. He had read from Knockout's report that during a run to get supplies to treat her monthly… affliction, she had been spotted and tracked down by a store associate who had seen her missing poster, and tried to get her away from Breakdown. In the confusion, Breakdown had run him over, splattering her with blood. The damage done has been fully healed, and now they could move on to the next stage of the process.

Megatron took out the clear box of stickers that Shockwave had loaded up with nanotechnology in. To Dani's horror, they were skimpy and gold, getting the reference immediately.

Blades, bless his sweet spark, did not.

_____

(My beta told me no to making Dani naked twice in one one-shot, so we compromised by making her censor bars a Rocky Horror reference. Yes, Dani and Blades are supposed to be Janet and Brad coded. Unfortunately, there is no Rocky, because, well, there's child characters here. Tarn is already pushing a lot here. So, instead of learning all about kink and throwing away the last of their innocence, Dani and Blades are learning about the war and throwing away their black and white view of it.)

____

"Have Dani apply these to the skin. Shockwave tells me that there is a diagram of where they need to go included. If you don't get them all applied before Knockout comes to retrieve you, Shockwave will do them himself. Blades, after Dani leaves, you will be moved to a new room." Megatron left, leaving them alone. Blades took out the stickers, realizing that this would have to be a two person job. He found the ones meant to go on her chest.

"How about you start with these? I mean, we did swap bodies, so nothing I haven't seen before, but…"

Dani nodded, a whirlwind of embarrassment and horror going through her head as she took off her dress and bra, Blades setting a mirror in front of her and looking away respectfully as she put the two circles over her breasts, trying not to think about the huge, hulking, one eyed monster of a bot that would soon be touching her for some likely sick purpose.

She looked through the other sheets and found another set meant for her crotch, resembling those adhesive edged fabric thongs some actors used in movie shoots. Luckily, it was large enough that the razor included could stay sealed in its flowery pink packaging.

She added a few to her sunken belly and skeletal ribcage. Her time at the Nemesis had her losing every scrap of fat on her body, leaving her feeling freezing and hollow all the time. She quickly put the stickers meant for her legs and feet on, not feeling safe until she slipped her pants on. It was weird. Being topless made her feel less exposed than having her legs out.

"Blades? A little help here?" Dani said, picking up the stickers meant for her neck and back. Blades oh so delicately placed the last two stickers, ruffling her hair after he was done.

"This might be a bit inappropriate due to circumstances outside of our control, but you will always be the prettiest human I have ever gotten the pleasure of knowing, no matter what happens. Charlie, your brothers, Chase, and Boulder would all be so proud of us for making it this far together. I am so proud of you for making it this far. I promise, if the worst comes to worst, I will bury you the way we couldn't bury your family. I love you, Dani."

Dani wiped away a tear. "Aw, I love you too Blades."

The door to the room opened, and Knockout stepped in. Dani took off her pants and climbed onto his outstretched hand without a word.

"Primus, fleshy, it is far too cold on the ship to be walking around without a blanket." Knockout picked up a thin, stained one that usually ended up between her and the rest of her blankets when she was on her period. He threw it over her shoulders and walked down to Shockwave's lab, leaving Blades to quickly clean up the trash and store anything of use in his subspace.

Shockwave took her from Knockout and laid her on her belly, setting the blanket aside. Dani didn't dare breathe as he took a pair of tweezers and readjusted the sticker on her back. "Everything is satisfactory. Knockout, administer the priming injection."

"Dani, sit up, cross your legs, put your elbows on your knees, and face away from me." Knockout said while he uncapped the syringe and Shockwave scooped out a glob of the cleaning gel that Dani had been subjected to more then once after she had begun to stink due to not being able to shower regularly.

Dani scrambled to follow directions, hissing as her shoulders were wiped with the freezing cold gel. She willed herself to stay still as Knockout plunged the needle into her shoulder and emptied the syringe into the muscle there. They had given her vaccinations in that shoulder, too, but drew blood from her head.

Knockout removed the syringe and moved in front of Dani. "Lie back, and relax your face as much as possible. I need a blood sample." Knockout took plenty of blood from her before looking at Shockwave.

Shockwave picked her up and set her on a new tray. He pressed a button on the side of it, and Dani yelped as the sticker on her spine magnetized to the tray, keeping it straight. "Testing successful. Begin energon injections to the thighs, along with shallow lacerations to improve cyber metal distribution and speed up the process."

"This is my specialty." Megatron said, stepping away from the wall where he had been watching the proceedings. He took a scalpel from Knockout and carefully cut symmetrical lines into Dani's thighs and forearms. Knockout injected energon inside each cut, Dani shivering as he wiped the blood from them onto her belly.

Dani cried out and scratched at Knockout's hands as he lowered her into the growth vat.

Her red blood turned the clear yellow liquid a light pink, and once the tank was full, Shockwave introduced the cyber metal, the stuff settling in the tank in bubbles and streaks. Shockwave pressed another button, and Dani felt nauseous, her eyes closing for the last time.

"Oh, she's beautiful." Knockout said as the tank emptied and the top swung open. He had a towel open to wrap around her as soon as Megatron and Shockwave pulled her out of the tube.

She was truly a stunning femme, even in just the new protoform silver and gray. Once she chose a paint job, she would likely have half the seeker armada tripping over themselves for a shot with her. She was going to be a helicopter, at least. The bump on her back where new rotors would sprout and unfurl once she scanned an alt mode stuck out like a sore thumb. Her plating had an organic curve to it, with virtually no harsh edges at all.

Shockwave had to stop her from getting out of the tube on her own, taking her arms and helping to lift her out of the tank. Knockout wrapped her in the towel, and they bundled her into a wheelchair. Her eyes were still offline, the growth cycle finishing earlier than expected. They wheeled her to Blades' new room, him being informed of the true intentions of the experiment only minutes ago. Still, he had a shift to finish, and Knockout assured him that she would be in stasis until he could help her.

The minute he could finish up his training to be a nurse with Breakdown for the day, he raced back to his suite. As promised, a stasis machine was hooked up to her, and he carefully unhooked her from it and held her hand until she woke up.

He happily helped Dani, who passed almost all the memory recall checks, out of the wheelchair and into their seated shower, where Blades assisted her in cleaning off the clear yellow goo that clung to her plating. The temporarily blind bot kept feeling his face over and over again, as if she expected him to be gone the next time she checked.

That morning, she woke up to him squeezing one of her hands while they slept in their bed, Blades having to plug her into the recharge dock with little awkward touches against her head.

This was her new reality now.

A menial job on this dark, oppressive ship, with this orange mech sleeping alongside her, all without her consent or a measure of control.

At least she won't starve.

At least she doesn't have to be alone.

_______

There was just one last test to be done.

Cody walked through the ground bridge, his confident posture and wicked grin strange on his young face.

In the panic of the omega lock pointed at earth, no one was paying attention to the drugged up, half mad Rescue Bot.

Cody walked into the cell block and walked right through the bars. The man he believed to have led his family to their deaths, tripping over himself to pick him up.

"Heatwave, I have a secret for you. Do you want to know?"

The grief addled bot nodded like an over excited little kid, and Cody smiled.

All Cody had to do to prove himself was whisper a single word.

"Die."

The bot's spark imploded with a soft pop, not a single drop of energon split. He reached into his ear and tapped his com link. "Nickel, I'm done here."

A ground bridge opened, and he ran back through to his Sire, failing to wipe the excited grin off his face. Tarn kneeled down and picked up the tiny minicon, his holoform flickering off as he hugged his Sire's finger. The Peaceful Tyranny was hiding behind the Nemesis, being secretly space bridged in to help Megatron hunt down any loose ends, the perfect initiation test for the newest member of the DJD.

"Good work, Darkmount." Tarn said, placing him back into his chest cavity.

Before long, the theme song to some human cartoon Raf downloaded off the internet and passed to him on one of their informal play dates while Tarn talked to high command played obnoxiously from the vid screen, Tarn long since abandoning the hopes of hearing anything but squeaky voices and bubbly background music after a hunt.

Tarn could feel Darkmount stretch inside him. He sent a feeling of pride into their still new parental spark bond.

Darkmount sent it back, a feeling of sleepiness accidentally slipping alongside it.

Darkmount was getting better at that, but still made silly little mistakes with the bond at times. However, he was flawless in the field, burrowing into the plating of much bigger mechs and killing them from the inside, removing any witnesses while Tarn and the rest of the DJD took care of the main victim.

And, of course, he was a glutton for attention at times. If he wanted it, that is. If he got it into his head that he didn't want to be picked up or held, Tarn would walk away with bite marks and a very grumpy microcon cuddled into the crook of his elbow or clinging to his tank treads. He did, in fact, scan an alt mode.

He had fought a small swarm of a savage pointer, a smaller subspecies of the common bulbous scraplet, and with some help from Vos, scanned a live one for his alt mode.

If he focused, he could hover in the air. The Pet was terrified of him, and he could now wander the ship as he pleased.

A few months later, Darkmount woke up to a message from Raf saying that he now had two nephews. Apparently, Dani and Blades got busy fast after Dani recovered from the conversion. There was also a warning to Nickel that Dani experienced phantom contractions after the twins were born, and the only things that worked was a very high dose of pain meds and plenty of heat packs and cuddles from the helicopter that she chose to be with. He was a skittish thing, not a single bark and completely devoid of bite. It was fine, though. Dani had enough for the two of them.

Darkmount winced as he imagined his sister in excruciating pain for no other reason besides a coding error leftover from being human.

He wouldn't lift a hand to help her if it was inconvenient for him, but he still didn't want to see her dead.

He cuddled into Tarn's spark chamber and drifted off to sleep.

Another day, and a new hunt will begin.

[angelsarewatching]

I posted 1,600 times in 2022

That's 1,600 more posts than 2021!

287 posts created (18%)

1,313 posts reblogged (82%)

I tagged 401 of my posts in 2022

#simon ghost riley - 32 posts

#ghost slander tag - 14 posts

#saint vulgaris - 13 posts

#call of duty - 13 posts

#saint-vulgaris - 8 posts

#archangels and saints' art - 7 posts

#welldonekhushi - 6 posts

#asks - 6 posts

#oc: mirasol corazón - 6 posts

#holy shit - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#listen babe i know theres a missile lost at sea rn and it might kill millions of ppl but u look really hot rn like really hot

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

remember folks on may 1st it’s titanfall day. get your ps plus subscriptions, hard disks for the pc gamers, and xbox consoles ready!

28 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#4

@lisbetadair what do you think ...

70 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#3

Hola!

If you have request open, can I request some HC on how Price would ask his S/O on a date? 🥺 👉👈

I love how you write so much 💕✨😭

tysm for liking how we write 😭💞 you're so sweet!

Captain Price (Dating) Headcanons!

(chose the best gif we know right)

This man is not a romantic. At all. He never considered himself to be a romantic and doesn't like cheesy romantic cliches....but he has this feeling of always trying to impress and one-up everyone else and reassure himself that he's better than anyone else who wants to date you. Don't get us wrong, he does love you a lot...it's just that due to the nature of his work skewing his standards of what's "normal", it's a bit difficult sometimes to date him.

He knows about love, how MacMillan has different wives, who always seem to be younger and more buxom than the previous one. He thinks of love as some kind of complex dynamic between two people, with unspoken etiquette and rules that he doesn't know of. Too busy with his work to ever even fathom settling down one day and marrying someone he loves...he just can't see it in his future. "Love" is just something you can use against another, (like holding someone's wife and kid as a bargaining chip) and "Marriage" was just having eye candy on your arm and make other people jealous. He has a very grey moral compass and his ethics are very unclear and vague.

Then you come in.

You don't blow him away right from the start, but you do pique his interest. You're new, fresh faced, and proficient in many skills. He gets to know more about you, and he's taken aback by how accomplished you are, and he respects your capability and acknowledges your usefulness during missions.

But there's something he can't just point out--why does he feel some kind of need to impress you? Why does he want to make you smile? Somehow he feels lighter and almost giddy when he makes a joke and you laugh--and at night, he stays awake staring at the ceiling, reminiscing about your melodious voice. Unexpectedly, he starts to look forward to meeting you every day, and he feels as if he could listen to you talk for hours on end, or just watch you do your thing and feel satisfied and content. He doesn't know why he feels these things however--he thinks that maybe it's just because he appreciates you and the work you do is useful and makes things easier when he's deployed. He brushes off his newfound feelings, thinking that sooner or later they'll just fizzle out and he can go back to working like normal.

The only catch was that it didn't fizzle out. The more time he spends with you, the more this fire inside of him crackles and burns more fervently, and it's inextinguishable. He realizes then, that he likes you, but he's adamant on saying that yes, I do like them, but it doesn't matter.

Finally he loses too much sleep over this, pondering how your hands fit into his calloused palms so well, and how he wants to hold you and rock you back and forth as you slow dance to romantic French songs, that his younger sister, Jenny, (Squadron Leader Jennifer "Broke" Price of No 9 (B) Squadron, RAF) had to hammer it in his head with a power drill that "you're in LOVE, johnny" and he regrets ever going to his younger sister for "Relationship Advice" because now even his older sister, (Major Jasmine Price) is heavily berating him about it. "This is having a significant impact on your effectiveness in the field, Johnathan. If you don't do something about this, I'm going to have to write you up and give you a mandatory leave till you sort yourself out."

He cannot go on Mandatory leave. He just can't. He'll die. So he takes a deep breath, memorizes the list of things he has to keep in mind during a "date" (or whatever Jenny called it) and approaches you.

"I really enjoy your company. If you're free, would you like to have dinner with me at 7PM tonight?"

You're surprised. Is Captain Price asking you out on a fucking date? You accept, but you're left reeling, shocked as ever, as he just says "Alright, thank you," and then leaves. He's fist pumping the entire way to his office.

You go out on a date in a nice restaurant in Hereford, as you're stationed there for the meantime. He knows this place like the back of his hand, and you both are chaperoned in a sleek black Mercedes-Benz 600 Grosser with bulletproof window panels towards the venue of your date. (He borrowed the car from Jasmine, and the random valet has a tuxedo.)

Part 2 of what happens during the date..? 👀

97 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#2

@lisbetadair i don't know if you've seen this. but you have to see this.

172 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

KÖNIG Headcanons (NSFW at the end)

Born in Austria, but moved to Germany when he was like, seven.

Suffers from the most severe amount of anxiety you've ever seen. Like. Not the cutesy, blush, "imscawedtopresentinfrontofclass" thing you'd see on a cute anime girl. Nope. This man is a severe

WRECK.

He is absolutely NOT pure but he's like. The awkwardest bitch to ever exist. Why. Why. Who gave you anxiety my love.

Not cinnamon roll either, these are skilled, deadly operators we're talking about.

Gets flustered for no reason ever and gets the most random anxiety attacks for what he calls the "smallest" things ever.

His brain goes FULL alert and alarm mode when there's a very small problem that will not affect his life at all and when there's an actual BIG problem in place, like life-ending missiles?

His brain takes a sip of vodka and then goes like "yea it be like that sometimes"

Bullied in grade school, high school, not college. He enlisted into the army when he found out being built like a mountain also meant that it was harder to knock you down. In combat, I mean. But it's easier to knock him down mentally..

would have actually went to college if not for his crippling anxiety kicking him in the gut every time he tried to go out for a walk. someone passes him by and it's immediately "shit shit shit shit shit shit shit they hate me i'm actually so fucking worthless like-" i wish i was exaggerating but no. he was just really fucked over mentally as a kid.

grew up being bullied like HELL because of how tall he was. like. it wasn't normal. it wasn't even bullying it was just some people laughing at him from time to time about how large he was. this actually hurt him severely and sometimes refused to go out and if he was forced to. he would cry

severely sensitive about his face. he looks Fine. not attractive or ugly but. just a regular german guy. but with very sad eyes. for some reason.

seems. apologetic. his resting face is a man wanting to apologize.

definitely suffered from depression for a few years in his high school days. just not wanting to go to school and it being difficult for him to even get out of bed.

he also suffers from extreme self-esteem issues. he hates his face. Very much. has tried to cut it on Very bad days. a few scars here and there but no scarring that's too extensive.

prone to self harming. due to overthinking and extensive blaming and self-deprecating thoughts.

not as bad as ghost but. still Very bad

on a scale of 1 to 10 on how much of a pathetic wreck of a man he is? he's a solid 20.

wears a mask because he is Sensitive. very. he hates his face, he hates mirror, he hates his reflection. very very thankful for his headgear and how it hides his face because he hates his face so so much

cries a lot too. will just break out crying sometimes when he pent up Too much emotion and silent tears will come out of his eyes. but you won't see it. because it's hidden

yeah he literally thinks Everyone hates him just at first glance. he tries not to though. he tries to just focus on the job but he can't help but tremble sometimes.

you'll catch him shaking or stammering on his words too much and he'll just. ignore it if you point it out. and then slam his head on a desk inside his room when you're out of earshot

super critical of himself and his actions. TOO critical.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Need I say more.

sometimes he just. can't help it. but. suddenly he will feel like his life TRULY is on the line if he doesn't flick the light switch twenty times and blink his eyes five times so that he's safe and all his loved ones are safe and-

too clean of a room. too clean. no dust anywhere. reorganizes four times a day. indecisive. Cannot be trusted to make decisions. absolutely not.

he's OK in the battlefield but outside of fighting and shooting......... he's pathetic.

oh damn he's HORRIBLE at bed. this man's dick game would've been rock bottom if not for his massive -

yeah of course it's massive. why wouldn't it be. he's embarrassed of it because it hangs weirdly if he doesn't wear the tight enough boxers

502 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[storiesofsvu]

The Nanny With Benefits Ch 5

Minor Barhoun. Minor Barhoun x reader Warnings: language, a ton of sass. Mention of illness/vaccinations. a/n: for the sake of the story we’re ignoring that the chicken pox fax didnt exist until 95….and a lot of other medical things. I cared at the beg of writing in and lost the motivation halfway through so….this is what you get 😂

The next morning you were up with Isabella earlier than you’d planned, but you didn’t want her to wake anyone else so you collected what you needed and brought her downstairs. You got some food into her the best you could, made a quick coffee and breakfast for yourself before taking off to the doctor’s office. By the time you got back it was mid morning and you found the apartment empty, a note scrawled in Rafael’s writing on the counter saying Damian was happily situated at his Abuelita’s, and that after work he’d be spending the time over there instead.

Naturally, your gut had been right, Isabella did have the chicken pox, and was a little bit of a fussy baby by the time you’d gotten home. You gave her another half of a Tylenol to bring her fever down and settled her up on the couch with cartoons while you moved on to getting lunch ready. Shooting off a couple of texts to Rita and Raf you started on some easy mac and cheese, knowing it would be soft enough for Is to swallow. You were just finishing up when you heard keys in the door and your brow furrowed, wondering if maybe Rafael had swung by to pick up a couple of Damian’s things, but were met with the sound of a stiletto and the sight of Rita rounding into the kitchen.

“Hey…” you greeted with a small tilt of your head, “I texted you, she’s fine, just a little itchy and feverish. It seems to not be hitting her so hard.”

“What?” She looked up, then over toward the living room, “oh, fuck. I haven’t checked my phone since this morning.”

“Did you forget something?”

“No.” She let out a soft sigh, slipping out of her blazer as she tossed it over a stool, “I’m just fucking exhausted. This case load is getting a little ridiculous, my usual junior attorney’s out on paternity leave and I haven’t had time to hire an assistant yet.” She let out a small groan, pushing her hair out of her face, “please tell me there’s coffee.”

“I feel like you need a nap, not more caffeine.”

“Just one cup?” She pouted, “to get me through lunch? Then I’ll see if I can sleep this off, my entire body aches.” She grumbled, moving towards the coffee machine. Your head tilted in concern as she did so,

“You sure you’re just sluggish?”

“What’d’you mean?” She murmured over the rim of coffee as she turned back to you, her eyes widening at the forehead thermometer you’d picked up, “oh please, I’m just tired.” Scoffing, she swatted at the device and you tsk’d,

“Rita…”

“You’re being ridiculous.” She deadpanned, but you were already a step ahead as the thermometer beeped and you let out a disappointed gasp.

“And you are over a hundred degrees already!” You skillfully managed to get the coffee out of her hands and she let out a protesting whine at that, “get your ass in bed! I’ll bring you up lunch.”

“But”—

“Go!” You gestured down the hall, “if you really are in the middle of a huge case, you can’t get sick, try and nip this in the bud now.” She let out an annoyed huff, her eyes darting back to the mug of coffee now on the counter and you shot her a glare reserved for the most bratty toddlers. With an eye roll, she picked up her bag and wandered off down the hallway.

Thankfully Isabella was still awake, and happily accepted being scooped up into your lap for some snuggles while you did your best to get her to eat some mac and cheese. In between bites you had her slurping on a Pedialyte freezie while you fed yourself the best you could with your free hand. By the time her bowl was just over half done, she was fighting sleep pretty heavily and you figured that was enough for now. You managed to soothe her to sleep, quietly making your way upstairs and leaving her tucked into her crib, making sure the baby monitor was on before you darted back down the stairs.

You quickly reheated the macaroni, filling a bowl for Rita, switching her coffee out for tea, and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and the adult Tylenol from the cupboard. Swiftly moving up the stairs, you realized this was technically the first time you were actually going into the master bedroom, having had no reason to before. You nudged at the door with your knee to give her a warning knock before you slipped into the room, letting out a small huff.

“Well, at least you’re actually in bed…but this is not sleep.” You nodded towards the lap top and case file out on top of the duvet.

“You mentioned lunch…I was simply occupying myself.”

“Should I have fed you before the two year old?” You teased with a smirk and she rolled her eyes again, watching you put down the meal on the bedside table, handing her the water and pills, “take a couple of those. Even if you don’t feellike you have a fever right now, you might in an hour and try to actually get some sleep, okay? Even just an hour will probably help.”

“Are you always this persistent?”

“I usually don’t have to be…my younger clients tend to not talk back as much.” You teased and she scoffed, “besides, you were the one who came home from work because you were exhausted.”

“Fine.” She pursed her lips as she cracked open the bottle, popping a couple of the pills, “I will eat, and then sleep, happy?”

“Excellent.” You smiled, crossing back through the room, “let me know if you need anything. And if you hear Is, don’t worry about it, I’ll grab her, okay?”

“You always this bossy?”

“You always this stubborn?” You raised a brow in her direction and she shot you half a glare, pulling a laugh from you as you slipped out of the room, hoping that she would follow your advice.

The next couple of hours went by much smoother than you could’ve hoped. You heard absolute minimal noise from upstairs as you tidied up the lower level, making sure the lunch and breakfast dishes were done, and figuring out what you were going to make for dinner. You took a couple of breaks in your day to double check on Isabella, even though she wasn’t crying. The meds seemed to be helping a lot, but she was still fussy as long as she was awake, and you were sure the itching was getting to her. You’d done your best to keep an old pair of baby mittens on her to not scratch, but considering she was nearly two, it was more than easy for her to yank them off. You changed her out of the pyjamas she was wearing, gently rubbing calamine lotion to the pox that were already marking her skin making sure they were more on the dry side before you got her into a new outfit.

If she wouldn’t go back down for another nap (and the added fact that you didn’t want her up all night, especially if Rita was under the weather too), you spent some time reading, on the iPad and playing a bit in her room. It was mostly iPad and books though, as she really didn’t want to leave your lap or arms for too long. You could definitely tell the illness was taking a toll on her, and she was usually back asleep pretty quickly. Once she was down again, you made sure her room was tidied up, and did a ten second tidy of your own, tossing your laundry in to get a start on at least something.

When you moved back downstairs you gently moved Isabella down to the couch, making sure she was tucked in the corner of the sectional that the bend was located just in case she happened to roll a little too far. Her room did currently have a toddler bed set up in that you were starting to have her sleep in, but just for safety’s sake, especially being sick and in a dead sleep due to the meds you wanted to be cautious. Flipping through your phone, you paid a couple of bills and replied to a couple of social media posts and emails, your hand softly rubbing at Isabella’s back as you did so. Once you were sure she wasn’t going to wake up again, you moved back to the kitchen. There was leftover rotisserie chicken from the night before and you knew there were enough ingredients you could throw together some homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner.

You started a very soft playlist on your phone as to not disturb the other members of the house as you began your task, chopping up a couple of vegetables and garlic, sautéing them lightly. You mixed them into the broth on a preheated burner, adding in the noodles first and later the chicken, adding a few extra spices to taste. Not sure how Rita was feeling, and knowing that you’d need more than just soup for dinner, you pulled out ingredients for grilled cheese while you waited for the soup to boil

It was then that you heard movement down the hall and your ears picked up the very distinguishable sound of a stiletto on the hardwood. You frowned at the sight of Rita emerging into the outer part of the house, dressed ready for work, her blazer and bag thrown over her arm.

“I suppose you think you’re headed back into work?”

“A client called.” She replied, pinching at the bridge of her nose and you winced at how rough her voice sounded, “I’ve got to get down to the two-six.”

“Are you sure there isn’t anyone you can call? No offence but you look like crap.” She shot you a half glare before she spoke again,

“Yeah well…you were right, I feel like crap…”

“Then don’t go in?”

“He wants to take a plea and I know this A.D.A is much more likely to say yes to a deal I offer than one of my partners.”

“Will you at least eat something before you go?” You gestured to the stove and she winced.

“I’m really not hungry.” Her hand shot up to the back of her neck, letting out a grumble, “this fucking tag!” She let out a heavy huff, her hand attempting to scratch at the offending piece of her blouse, “can you grab the scissors and get rid of this fucking thing?”

“Yeah, course.”

You turned to the counter, pulling open the drawer to grab the scissors before slipping behind her. As your fingers slipped under the neck of her blouse you felt your breath nearly catch in your throat at the intimacy of the act and you felt like kicking yourself slightly. It was only as you pulled the tag out, tugging gently at the back of her collar to get the tag fully out that you spotted it.

“Uh…Rita…?”

“What?” She tried to twist around, but your hands kept her shoulders where the were, “the tag might be bothering you but that’s definitely not what’s itchy.”

“What’re you talking about?”

Before you could reply, you were untucking her blouse from her skirt, lifting it up her back. She immediately tried to protest, but subsided when you let out a small gasp.

“You sure it’s just the tag that’s itching you?” You dropped her shirt back down, “you cannot go into work…”

“Why?” This time she whipped around, glaring you down.

“I hate to break it to you, but you’ve got chicken pox.”

“That’s impossible.” She scoffed and you raised a brow.

“Phone.” You held up your hand and she once again rolled her eyes before pulling it out and giving it to you, with a couple of swipes you found what you were looking for, “Jesus Rita! You’re missing multiple vaccinations! How?!” She swiped the device from your hands and let out an audible groan,

“My fucking mother…went through a granola phase, it must’ve been when I was in the appropriate age range.”

“Okay…” you surveyed her, “and you didn’t get your chicken pox one when you started trying to get pregnant because….?”

“Oh sweetheart…” she let out a loud laugh, “you really think I’d let Rafael destroy my vagina by pushing out two kids? We used a surrogate…”

“Okay so you are not going to work, you’re gonna be a fucking super spreader. Get back in bed! I’ll bring you up some soup later, it’s almost done.”

“But work..”

“Call someone else!” You insisted, “you literally cannot leave the house! And I’m going to book you an appointment to make up for these missed vaccine’s!”

“You are a fucking pain in my ass, you know that right?” She grumbled and you laughed, though it turned into a frown as you watched her try to scratch at her body.

“Hey! None of that!”

“But”—

“I will duct tape oven mitts to your hands if you don’t stop scratching Ms Calhoun.”

“Did you just Ms Calhoun me?!”

“I will make the itching subside, I promise. Just get back upstairs and out of the Prada. If you’re not in dire need of attention right away, let me feed Is and get her down, then I’ll come help you.”

“Fine.” She glared, “I’ve got to make a few phone calls anyways.”

*

Finally, the apartment was peaceful and quiet as the sun sunk over the city, draping the place in an amber glow. Truthfully, you’d put Isabella down much earlier than normal, but between being sick and on medication, you knew she’d probably still sleep through most of the night. After dinner Rita had continued to protest a bit, and you’d managed to make a deal that she was allowed to stay awake and working a teeny bit as long as she was wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Thankfully, she’d managed to fall asleep nearly two hours ago leaving you some time to tidy up the apartment again and get things ready for tomorrow.

You were just returning from upstairs, padding down the hallway when you heard the door open. You weren’t too surprised when Rafael popped in, figuring he at least had to swing by to pick up supplies and clothes for a couple of days.

“Hey.” He greeted softly, “how’s she doing?”

“A little worse for wear, but that’s to be expected.” You replied, “I was just about to wake her up.”

“It’s almost eight…is that a good idea?”

“Oh!” You laughed, “you meant the baby, baby, not the wife baby.”

“Oh no….” His face dropped, “she’s a disaster when she’s sick…is it just the flu?”

“I can hear you.” Rita croaked with a grumble from the couch as she attempted to sit up.

“It’s full blown chicken pox.” You huffed, “someone never actually got the shot.”

“Jesus.” He muttered, turning to look towards Rita who’d finally managed to get herself upright, “how’re you feeling?”

“She took my coffee…”

“Well….she’s still alive, so that’s saying something.”

“Why are both of you being so mean to me?”

“God I forgot how needy you get when you’re sick.” Rafael teased and she shot him the best glare she could manage before he turned to you, “I’m surprised you managed to convince her to sleep.”

“Oh she refused to even try unless I agreed to play with her hair until she was asleep.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here.” She grumbled, “this is the fucking worst. It’s so itchy….” You laughed at her whine, moving towards the couch to tug her up.

“Yeah, I’ve got an oatmeal bath steaming and ready for you, c’mon.” You gave her arm a squeeze as you nudged her towards the stairs, “then Raf can help you with the calamine lotion.”

“I’d really rather you do it.” She muttered and you cast a glance to Raf who shrugged in return and you nodded.

“I just came by to grab a couple things for Damian and clothes for tomorrow. Though…all things considered maybe it should be for the rest of the week?”

“Probably a good idea.” You assured, ushering Rita down the hallway before Rafael began to grab things from around the apartment.

You left the two of them upstairs to give them some privacy while you were hopeful Rita was actually in the bath, knowing how much it would soothe her skin. A couple of reruns played on the t.v while you occupied yourself until you heard Rafael’s shoes on the hardwood.

“She started complaining the water was cold.” He laughed, pulling one from you as well.

“Not surprised.” You shook your head, standing to turn the t.v off as you turned to him.

“Thank you…for taking such good care of them.”

“It’s my job.” You shrugged, but you could see the pure appreciation in his eyes.

“Well..half your job.” He smirked and you chuckled once more.

“I do believe when I signed up for this family, I signed up for taking care of all of you.” You teased, “if you were going anywhere but your Mother’s I’d be worried about you getting enough food.”

“Oh stop.”

“Tell her I say hi, and I greatly look forward to our next lunch.”

“Oh god.” Rafael laughed.

“Hey, she’s got some amazing stories about the two of you in college. Honestly… I’m impressed you managed to make it this long. It’s fucking adorable. Most families I’ve worked with are…not great… the two of you actually really care about your kids. It’s a really nice change.”

“Thanks y/n.” You could almost see the hint of a blush on his cheeks as he ducked his gaze, “well, I should get going.”

“Yeah.” You smiled, just as he opened the apartment door you spoke again, unable to hold it back, “and Raf?”

“Yeah?”

“That beard is coming in really nice….you should definitely keep it.”

With a small laugh and smile he was gone from the apartment and you were left with a warm feeling in your chest, followed by a shot of guilt before you shook it all off. You were here to do a job, and that was it….right?

Letting out a little shake you swiftly jogged back up the stairs, knocking on the door the master bedroom before you paused, waiting for Rita’s reply. At her insistence that you could come in, you did so, finding her padding through the space in a towel as she got ready for bed, the bottle of calamine lotion on the bedside table.

“I’m sorry I gave you so much shit earlier, that bath really did help.” She admitted with a sheepish grin.

“I did tell you it wasn’t my first rodeo.”

“You are incredible at what you do, I hope you know that.”

“Thank you.” You ducked your gaze, feeling your cheeks heat at the praise, trying to control your thoughts back into the professional manner. As you did so, your eyes swept through the room, it was apparent that Rita was the decorator, unlike other areas of the apartment, it surprised you that only her taste seemed to be displayed in the bedroom. There was a small light on through a set of French doors and your brow furrowed at what almost looked like another bedroom through the gap. One with a very different vibe. You had to admit, the last twenty four hours was the first time you’d been in their bedroom, bathroom, or…whatever was going on…

“What?” Rita’s voice softly broke through your thoughts and you shook out of your trance.

“Nothing…sorry…it’s been a long day.” You tossed her a smile, “let’s get you ready for bed?” You offered, picking up the bottle.

“You’re a godsend.” She murmured, “I did the ones I can reach, but my back appears to be a mess.” She turned her back to you, shifting the towel down so you was around her waist.

“I’m just here to help.” You assured, starting to apply the lotion to the spots on her back. In an attempt to distract yourself from the entirely too intimate action, you decided conversation was the best choice, “you and Raf…have you been together since college?”

“God no.” Rita let out a hearty laugh, “we had our history in law school, we’ve been friends since then, but it’s been on and off for years.” She knew it was technically the truth, but wasn’t sure how much she could reveal, knowing she’d have to talk to Rafael before she could drop the bomb and pounce.

“Makes sense.” You let out a soft sigh, “okay, you’re done. Let me know if you need help again in the morning. And don’t you dare get up with Isabella. You just focus on getting better right now, okay?”

“Yes M’am.” Rita teased with a smirk as she wrapped the towel tightly back around her, “and you take care of yourself, the last thing we need is you getting sick.”

With the look on her face you were honestly surprised that she didn’t boop you on the nose before you left the room, bidding each other a goodnight.

___________ @melk917 @stone-hearted-seymour @alexusonfire @nocreditinthestraightworld @holycrapraewth @1-lindsay83 @ms-calhoun @thatesqcrush @tinyboxxtink @detective-giggles @lannister-slings-and-arrows @billiedeannovak @lazaretta @drduckthief @jamiethetrans @bumblebear30 @natasha-danvers @bookpillows @swimmingstudentchaos891 @newyorker14 @screenee @savannah-elliott @lawandorderuswnt @whimsicallymad @poisonedcrowns @Audrey-tindalls-punchingbagwh0r3

[bots-and-cons]

K, so I was just bawling my eyes out so kinda angsty but very stereotipical idea. Reader is a dead teen(miko's age), they ask the bots for help to lay down and rest, in the process they become friends, so after various months,a year maybe. They find the missing item, a thing she was attached to in life, put it in the top of her grave in the forest(who is covered with forget-me-not flowers) and she finds also her ghost dog who is waiting for her and she is all like: "Hey pal, do you think mom is waiting for us? She will be mad we got late again" and vanishes while walking away. Headcannons for Optimus, Ratchet and Bulkhead. Pls

I freaking love this, this is such a great request and I love that it makes me kinda sad. I kinda made this so it was in the same au as the grim reaper stuff, so I tagged this with the reaper au tag as well. I’ve been watching Supernatural, so I kinda used the ghost trope from that with this, also only the Optimus one went like you wanted, but I like them anyway

~Bulkhead~

•You just kinda started appearing at the base, first it was just a glimpse in the corner of his optic or slight footsteps echoing behind him when there was no one else around

•You were pretty lost when you first started appearing, you didn’t know where you were or what had happened to you

•When you started to remember you were dead, you started appearing more frequently and one day you gathered the courage to ask Bulk for help

•You appeared before him when he was alone and explained your situation, Bulk was like “What?” and brings you to see the rest of the team, hoping they might have some idea on how to help you

•None of the other bots really know how to react or what to do, so Miko and Bulk start doing some research with the assistance of Raf

•You’re thankful for the help and you disappear somewhere for a while again, before appearing in front of them again

•Miko finds out the whole “being tethered to an object thing” and everyone starts turning the base upside down to find something you could be attached to

•No one finds anything for months, and you just have to adjust to living at the base, because the object is the and you can’t leave

•Eventually it turns out one of your parents worked at the base when it was still used by the military and Miko finds something of yours in one of the lockers, that your parent had kept after you passed

•When Miko shows it to you, you know right away that “this is it” and now it’s just upto them to find out where you’re buried

•You had forged a good relationship with Bulk especially, and he comforted you a lot when you were having some existential crisis about being a ghost, and never being able to move forward

•The rest of the team decided to let you pass on in peace, so Bulk and Miko were the only ones there when they placed the item on your grave

•You disappear with tears in your eyes and waving at them as you walk away from them

~Optimus Prime~

•He started hearing crying and whispers at the base, and he didn't really know what to think of it

•Miko of course was the first one to suggest the base was haunted

•Optimus didn't really take her seriously, but oh boy was he wrong not to

•When you first appear, your presence is pretty unstable, because you've died recently and have no idea what you're doing with the whole ghost thing

•Optimus learns how to sense when you're in the room and stuff like that

•When you first appear and start talking to him he is trying to stay very calm but in his head he's like "dear Primus what is happening?"

•He is tired, he is stressed, and he doesn't even really mind that you're a ghost

•What does bother him, is that you seem to grow more restless with each passing day, you want to be put to rest, you want to see your passed loved ones again and you're tired of feeling so alone

•Optimus does his best to help you find what you're tethered to and when he eventually manages that

•When you tell him where you're buried, he goes there, and places the stuffed dog toy on the grave

•A ghost dog appears, startling him a bit when it woofs at you and you pet it

•”Mom is gonna be mad at us for being so late again, huh?”

•You disappear with a wave and a thank you

•Optimus feels oddly relieved and kinda sad that you're gone, but in the end he is happy you've moved on

~Ratchet~

•Ratchet thought he was finally losing the last of his neural network, because he was hearing and seeing things

•But it ended up being you, a ghost, which didn’t really make him feel any more sane

•When you appear on his shoulder or hand, he almost falls on his aft because you surprised him pretty badly

•He asks Raf if humans have the ability to just appear and disappear like that, even though he already knows they don’t

•When you start talking as a disembodied voice, that’s also pretty freaky, but that’s just because you don’t know how to make yourself appear for long times yet

•But when you learn how to and you’re able to properly communicate, you tell him what’s going on

•You tell him there is something in the base that’s keeping you there, even though you don’t know what it is or where it is

•Ratchet helps you find the item and brings it to your burial site

•You appear again and there is like this deep sigh, but it’s not coming from you, it’s more like in the air around you

•There is this calm feeling that comes over Ratchet as well when you disappear into a mist

•You’re crying and a faint “thank you” hangs in the air after you’re gone

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - Chapter 1

Here I am!

As i promised here is the first chapter of my new Rowaelin.

This one will be very different from Island Dream. It’s meant to have a slightly more challenging plot line and a smidge more angst in it. Also, i know very little about fire fighters and the airforce. I did research for both of them and for the firefighters I used some shows I follow as inspiration. Whereas for the airforce... it’s mostly research. I based the ranks system on the UK RAF.

THIS is Rowan’s jet (it actually exists. It’s called a Eurofighter Typhoon. I have seen it live at some airshow here in Scotland and it’s so damn sexy.), just imagine it in deep green for Terrasen. 

I have 12 chapters down but still no actual direction in mind yet. I have a few ideas I want to develop but the storyline is still hazy. 

And this is the SONG that gave the idea for the title.

Anyway, I’ll leave you to it

----------

Aelin is a firefighter for the Terrasen Fire Department (TFD) and one day her squadron get called to deal with a fire at the airbase of the Terrasen airforce (TAF). During the incident she meets icy Captain Whitethorn. They are thown together in a forced cooperation.  Slowly they will find their lives entwined beyond work. And both of them, with a tragic past at their backs... will have to be a little braver...

(Sorry i suck at introductions)

----------------

“Again!” Shouted a blonde woman standing in front of a training tower on fire. Her long braid gently placed on her shoulder. Blue eyes like the clearest of days fixed on the inferno in front of her and a concentrated expression. 

“Brullo, help Luca and start again, perhaps this time without killing our victim.”

They had been at it for a while but it seemed like the newbie was struggling with training. Being a firefighter was not a job for everyone. Aelin knew Luca was still a probie and still learning the ropes but sometimes she felt as if the boy was not as tough as he tried to be. Luca had been with them for three months and he had become the mascot of the group. He was eighteen an eager and she was happy to support him as much as she could, but her job was also to make sure her people would walk out of a raging fire alive. She had already lost enough in the line of duty. 

She was about to call for a break when the dispatch siren went off.

“Everyone, time to go.” She turned to Luca “You stay at the station and cover dispatch or just study for your exam.” She winked at him and ran to the engine, donned her gear and climbed to her seat.

Being the Captain she took the passenger seat in the engine and joined Nox who was the driver.

“Were are we heading?”

“Airforce base.” Replied Nox while driving the engine to its destination with incredible skill.

“Did a pilot forgot to turn off one of their fancy planes?” Then she turned to Aedion, the man was her lieutenant and her second  “Are our EMTs with us?”

The man nodded “right behind us.”

The engine sped through traffic, siren blazing “what’s our ETA?” Asked Aelin.

“Five minutes, Cap.” Replied Nox.

Not long after they reached their destination and arrived at the main gates of the airbase which were shut. Aelin swore. She opened the door and jumped off the truck.

To meet her there was a tall man, his hair silver and the eyes of the deepest of green. She thought Aedion was tall. She was wrong. This man was a good twenty centimetre taller. 

“Fire department at your service, did one of men’s arse caught fire?”

The man glared at her. His face harsh.

Ok, wrong audience.

“We have a fire in hangar bay 2.”

“Good, now open these gates and let us through if you want us to work our magic.”

“This is a restricted area as you can imagine.” His tone flat and almost bored.

Aelin took a step toward him, not afraid “Listen, you either let us through with the engine and the ambulance or you start praying the gods for a fuckload of rain. Which will it be, sir?”

Aelin noticed a flash of anger pass through his eyes. He would have been the most gorgeous man she had ever seen if it wasn’t for his stick up his arse attitude.

The man in front of her made a gesture and a car appeared in front of the truck “Follow the car and do not wander. This is a restricted area.”

“Sure, I always wanted a picnic in an airbase.”

Aelin ignored him and gestured at the ambulance to follow them. She jumped back on the truck and noticed the silver haired arsehole getting in the car in front of them.

It did not take long to reach their destination and Aelin swore when she noticed the fire engulfing hangar bay 2.

“And that’s me hoping in a boring day. How silly of me.” Joked Aedion from his seat behind Aelin. 

Aelin jumped off the truck and started shouting orders then joined again the officer “Do you have all staff accounted for?”

The man shook his head “Two engineers are missing and we have a few injured as well.”

Aelin shouted for the EMTs and the two women appeared in front of her in an instant “there are few injured that need treatment. Go and call for backup if you need it.” The taller brunette nodded and they disappeared again. 

Aedion’s voice reached her over the radio “copy that, Aedion. There are still two civilians trapped inside.” She turned to see her squad at work and a pang of pride rushed through her. They were an amazing well oiled machine and all the gruelling training paid off in the end. 

She turned to look at the grumpy officer and noticed the man was like a statue. His eyes fixed on the raging fire in front of them.

“We’ll get them out.” She offered as a comfort but the man didn’t even notice her. 

“Any idea on how it started?”

He turned his head slightly and his icy stare focused on her “isn’t that your job, captain?” She did not like the tone she used to call her captain. She could hear a veil of mockery.

“Ansel, Ress,” she shouted while donning the rest of her fire suit “direct the jet there.” She pointed to the location that looked like the epicentre. Once her mask and oxygen tank were on, she grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran into the building to join the rest of the squad.

Rowan stared at the woman ran into the fire. The captain had struck him stupid when she had the guts to challenge him without any fear. He was so used to give orders without ever receiving a rebuttal that it totally threw him off that the woman had fought him that way. Soon after he had found himself staring while she directed her squad to take positions and start to tackle the fire. She was fierce, of that he had no doubts. And with the same fierceness she had ran into the hangar and joined her team.

He was too busy staring at her that he missed the instant in which the structure had started to collapse on the ground. It went down as if made of paper and he froze at the realisation that there were still people inside the building. Engineers and firefighters alike. And for a brief second he felt a pang of panic for a woman he did not know and who had a temper of fire.

“Captain!” His head whipped to the side at the subtle veil of panic in the dark-haired man, handling the jet of water on their truck. “Lieutenant, come in.” But no sound came over the radio “fuck.” The man intensified the jet of water. 

Rowan knew that level of panic. He had experienced it a few times in his career. The soul crashing fear of losing a member of his team, the fear gripping his heart until a response came over the radio. He knew that fear very well. 

It took ten minutes for the auxiliary vehicles of the airbase to reach the site. They were not proper fire engines. For that they had to use the firefighters. But they could help and they started spreading a sort of special agent that slowly stifled the fire.

Rowan sighed in relief when he noticed some figures appearing from the smoke. The captain amongst them. Her hair was now covered in soot and her face just as dirty. He relaxed completely when he spotted the captain carrying one of the engineers and another fire fighters carrying the second one. The firefighter deposited the victims gently on the ground and the two EMTs went to check for them. He saw her collapsing on the ground on her knees then she stood, almost regretting that moment of weakness and went back to the engine to give some more orders. A tall blonde man approached her and after discussing something he moved away and stood staring at the collapsed building and the fire now fully extinguished.

She coughed once and then turned noticing the presence at her back.

“You should ask one of your EMTs to have a look at you.” His tone flat and devoid of emotions.

“I am fine.” She admitted with defiance “I don’t need you to babysit me. Sir or whatever rank your insignia has.”

“Captain. Captain Whitethorn.” And his words had a far gentler tone that he expected and it surprised him.

She walked away from him and went to the rest of the team to make sure everyone was okay and then checked on the civilians that had been saved and finally returned to captain Whitethorn.

“The two engineers will be fine.” She coughed one more time “They inhaled a lot of smoke but they are now on their way to the hospital for a few more checks. There are a few other with minor burns but everyone has been treated and on their way to the hospital as well.”

“Thank you.”

“Once the embers cool down I want to have a look at the site. Something clearly went completely wrong in here which means that some of your safety systems or your basic procedures are not working.”

“Are you saying that we are slacking in terms of safety?” His tone became harsh once again.

Aelin again stood straight in front of him “I saw sprinkles, but there was no trace of water which means they did not activate as soon as the fire started as they are meant to. Which in a place with so much fuel and flames is a big infraction and can land you in a shit ton of problems. Whoever was in charge of safety fucked up big time, Captain.”

Whitethorn ran his hand through his hair. That was his CO’s job. Lorcan was the one meant to look after all those things. But Lorcan had inherited a situation that was a bit of a clusterfuck and he had been working hard to fix it since his promotion. 

“I will need to come back tomorrow to do an inspection of the site and I want to inspect all the other remaining buildings and make sure they are up to code. And I don’t care if this is a restricted zone,” she moved a step closer to him and Whitethorn stared in her deep blue eyes “You get me a pass into here for tomorrow with access to all areas. And if you don’t, I’ll go high enough that when I come back you will have to roll out the red carpet. Do you read me on this Captain?”

He nodded silently. A part of him was in awe. Who was this woman? She did not seem to be intimidated by rank or a pretty uniform. He was speechless. Even civilians often tended to offer a certain level of respect to him just because of his rank. She stood in front of him, chin high and defiant. 

“Yes ma’am,” he heard himself say with unexpected obedience.

“Good. I will see you tomorrow, Captain Whitethorn.” She turned on her heels and left him still planted in his spot and completely stunned.

Aelin joined her team again and once the scene was cleared up and all the gear tucked back in the truck they left the premises.

“I hope Luca had some sort of food ready, I am starving.” Added Aelin sitting back in her seat in the truck.

“The day you will say that you are not hungry it will be a day when doom will descend upon us.” Chimed in Aedion.

“Hey, I use a lot of energy.”

“Sure, having a stand off with Captain silver fox must have been exhausting.”

Aelin turned and stared at Ansel. The red haired woman was smirking.

“He was being a pompous arsehole who think he is a god just because he wears a uniform.”

“Yeah, one hot arsehole though. I mean did you even notice him?”

Aelin did not reply. She had actually noticed him but her first impression of him hadn’t changed. The man was impossibly gorgeous but he still needed a bit of manners.

Eventually the squad got back to the station and got off the truck abandoning their equipment for checks later. “Let’s all go and get some chow in.”Aelin shouted while removing her boots “Aedion make sure you and Ansel check the truck and take Luca with you he needs some training in what we do after a call out.”

The ambulance pulled over beside them a bit later and the two women joined the rest of the group.

“Lys, all okay with the victims?”

The taller woman nodded “dropped them off. No serious injuries though.” Then she opened the back of the ambulance car and grabbed a clipboard and handed it to Aelin “our supplies order for the hospital. I was going to give it to you before but then we got called out and I forgot.”

Aelin grabbed the document “I’ll get it done today. You and Elide go and join the guys for food.”

Lysandra walked over to Aedion and dropped him a kiss on his lips. The two had been dating for years now and the whole squadron had been taking bets on when Aedion would pop the question. 

Aelin eventually joined the rest of her team for their meal and Luca had overdone himself and prepared some amazing food. She was ravenous, however during her meal her head kept going over the call they had received at the airbase. There were a few things that bugged her and she was looking forward to her visit the next morning to check the scene again. The sprinklers had been her first clue. She just hoped Captain tight-pants would be more willing to help after he had a nice night of sleep. 

It was much later when Aedion found her in her office buried under layers of folders and papers on her desk.

He gently knocked at her door “Lys and I are going home. Are you staying late again?”

“Aedion, look at these documents.” she passed him a pile of sheet of paper “That is the last safety check they had a look at the signature of who passed it.”

“Fucking Havillard senior.” The man had been the fire chief and had finally retired a few months before and the event had created a sense of relief in every single firefighter in Orynth. The man had a bad reputation and a penchant for currying far too many favours with politicians “I am so glad Dorian finally took over. He is a much better fire chief. He has done more for the fire department in a few months than his father in years of his rule.”

“I want to check every single thing he signed off as to code. I don’t trust the bastard and if he passed things not operating correctly I am going to cause a shitstorm.”

“And do what, Aelin? The man is retired and back to his mansion in Adarlan. There is nothing you can do.” Aedion was always the rational one and sometimes Aelin hated him for that.

“His negligence could have killed hundreds of people.”

“I know, but all we can do now is to fix his wrongs and make sure that the airbase is up to code. And keep your friend the Captain safe.”

Aelin snorted “Why everyone thinks I have the hots for the Captain?”

“I have known you all my life and you totally are into him. I recognised the signs.”

“Well, my dear cousin, you are highly mistaken.”

Aelin and Aedion were cousins. The man had served in the army and when he retired she had told him that her fire house was looking for recruits and asked if he wanted a shot at being a fire fighter. Aedion accepted and went through training at the academy and in the end the skills he had gained in the military had proven amazing for his new role. 

“Don’t tell me you guys are taking bets on me.”

Aedion laughed “my revenge for starting the one about me and Lys.”

Aelin growled “Yours is bound to happen eventually.” She looked at him “me and his stiffness? Not a chance. He might be hot as hell but he has no sense of humour and probably cannot go to the toilet unless he gets permission from his CO.”

Aedion sighed “That’s military training. It gets drilled into you from day one. He is still active and it’s normal. I am retired and still have that instinct.”

Aelin laughed “No, you don’t do anything without Lys’ approval.”

He nodded “I love her but the woman is scary. And now that she had Elide as a partner she is getting craftier.”

Aelin smiled “Go home and relax you two. Just don’t make me an aunt yet.”

“Don’t stay too long okay?” The man waved at her and left. 

Aelin sat five more minutes then she heard the second team arrive on the premises she packed up her stuff and decided to go home. She walked down the corridor greeting the other team and had a catch up with the lieutenant and eventually she left the station. The weather had turned cold and winter was definitely in the air. Aelin sniffled the air, cosied up in her jacket and walked home. It took her much longer than usual to go home as she took a different route and stopped at the park. Not the best idea at night but she had enough knowledge of hand to hand combat that she would easily kick the arse of whoever tried to assault her. She stopped in her favourite spot and leaned against the rail to look at the ducks in the pond. Going back home was still hard. Since she had lost Sam she hated her empty house. Even after over a year. They were both firefighters. He was the captain at the west station. They had met during a call out and got along from the start. Then got along a bit more until things got serious and they moved in together. They had two years of happiness until he went out on a call with his squadron and thing went south. He and another firefighter lost their lives that night. It had been over a year now but her heart still ached and missed him.

She heard ambulance sirens in the background and her instinct was to look for a cause for it. 

She said goodbye to the ducks and eventually walked home.

The next morning Aelin had got to work so early that the second team was still on. She had shared breakfast with them and was glad to hear they had a quiet night with just a call.

She walked back to her office and went over one the documents one more time. As a courtesy she decided tray and phone Captain Whitethorn but then realised she did not have his number and doubted the airbase would advertise its number freely. Ach well, he knew they she was going. 

Once Aedion arrived she gave him instructions on what to do while she was away. She wanted a few more drills run and the truck scrubbed and equipment checked. She knew that when she was away they tended to have far too much fun “And if I come back and I discover you guys slacked off I am going to unleash Lysandra on you.”

“I will keep them in check.”

“You better.” And with that she left and drove away to the airbase. 

It took her a good half an hour to finally reach the main gate. She got out of the car and went to the guards posted at the entrance “Hi, I am a firefighter on the TFD. I am here to see Captain Whitethorn, he is waiting for me.”

“What is your name?”

“Captain Aelin Galathynius.”

The man walked away to check something with another guard and got back to her “You can go in. The Captain will meet you at the next check point.”

Aelin grunted. They did not have this many checks the day before. Although, with a building on fire they were probably quite eager to have them in as soon as possible.

She got back in the car and drove the short distance where another military man stopped her and she noticed the captain behind him. Still stiff and a face that deserved to be punched. 

He knocked on her passenger window and Aelin lowered the glass “good morning, Captain.”

“I will need to get in the car.”

Aelin rolled her eyes and unlocked the door for him.

“Follow the main road until you see the main building. Park there and we’ll get you all signed in.”

What was his problems? Didn’t they used greeting in the military?

Aelin drove in silence until she spotted the main building.

“Park over there.” She sensed the command in his voice.

She did as told and once done she grabbed all her stuff from the back of the car and followed him. He had exited the vehicle and started walking not bothering waiting for her.

She was going to kill him. 

Once inside the main building she found him waiting for her at the reception area with a clipboard in his hands “Fill this in.” Again, that tone of command and not a single please.

Aelin had a look and realised they were annoyingly thorough in term of security “Do you want my bra size as well?” She smiled at him “it’s a 38A, by the way.”

No reaction. She sighed and filled in all her details. Once she was done the captain took the clipboard and gave her her badge “Keep this on you at all times Miss Galathynius.”

“You can call me Aelin. I gave you my bra size, I guess we are on a name basis kind of relationship.” She grabbed the badge and wore it around her neck.

“Were do you want to start?”

Fine. No jokes and back to business “your office for starters.”

“I thought you wanted to see the fire scene.”

“Yes, but I need to ask a few questions first.” And she waved the big pile of documents in her hand.

He tensed and with a hand he gestured for her to follow him. 

They walked until they reached an office at the end of a corridor “This is my CO office. I discussed the situation with him and he believes it’s a matter that needs his presence as well.”

“The more the merrier” and flashed him a smile but she had no reaction from him.

They entered the room and Aelin froze. The man in front of her was huge. He stood to greet her and she thought she had never met anyone as tall as the man behind the desk.

“Sir, this is the Captain.”

“Miss Galathynius, isn’t it?”

“Captain, if you don’t mind. I earned my rank like all of you, even if I am a woman.”

“I am Air Commodore Lorcan Salvaterre.” She shook his hand and took a seat after he offered. Captain Whitethorn stood behind her, rigid and cold as his usual. Gods, the man needed to get laid. 

“I believe you had some concerns with regard to that accident from yesterday.”

“I do.” And she slammed the pile of documents on the desk. If they wanted to play tough, they had met their match “My first concern is that some of your safety checks are two years old. As you are aware Mr Salvaterre, considered the nature of your business and the level of dangerous materials present on site you are required by law an annual check.” She passed over a piece of paper with the current regulations “and again in your case there are aspects that need to be checked twice a year and you have not done so.” She sat back on the chair “Yesterday I noticed that the sprinkles had not activated during the fire. Again, your reports show that the last maintenance check was three years ago.” Another sheet landed on the man’s desk “A hangar that could, according to your plans, have up to a 100 personnel on site at the same time, only had one fire exit.”

“If you had a look at hangar bay two blueprints you could see why only one exit was added.”

Aelin unfolded the blueprints in challenge. They had no idea who they were dealing with “I can see that one side of the hangar share the door with the airstrip and I can see that this is a very bad idea for an evacuation spot. However,” and she pointed at the plan “this area here, as you can see is perfectly safe. It offer protection from a possible explosion of fire and it looks like it could accommodate at least half of the staff.” She closed the folder “I am going to be frank with you. It’s a miracle you are still allowed to operate. This are only the biggest infractions, I am sure that once I will inspect the site of the fire I will find more.”

She noticed Salvaterre flinch.

“I am also aware that it was the old fire chief who signed off the last inspections and that explains a lot. The man had been a thorn in my side for a very long time but his son is a far more capable chief.” She sat comfortably again “My concern here is for all the staff. Yesterday could have had a far worse outcome. I can see that at least your team has a good grasp on how safely evacuate and I am positive that once we add a second door it will be even more efficient.”

“Any big changes will have to get approved by the military.”

“Well, get that done. If you value your people you will grovel until you get what you need. You don’t seem the man to back down from a valid fight.” She leaned forward a bit, not breaking eye contact with him.

“What do you suggest?”

“I will make you a deal.” She offered “I am aware it might take some time to fix all the issues and bring the whole base up to code. I am giving you six months. Work with us, I am willing to help as a consultant. I had a chat with chief Havillard and he is okay with my plan and authorised me to cooperate with you.”

“I guess I can work with that.” Then he stared at Captain Whitethorn behind her “Captain Whitethorn will be you liaison. I am too busy, but he has my authorisation to help you with what you need.”

She turned to the man at her back and noticed at his panicked face “I am sure the Captain and I will have fun. We are best buddies already.” She flashed him a smile and the man flinched. Well, at least that was a reaction. 

“Perfect. Captain Galathynius I expect you will keep me updated on the progress.” And he offered her his business card “my email is at the bottom. It’s the best way to get in touch with me.”

“Thank you sir,”Aelin said pocketing the card. The man was just as cold as the captain but seemed a bit more willing to cooperate “Now if you’ll excuse me sir I have some work to do.”

The man nodded and Captain Whitethorn walked outside, probably already dreading the idea of working with her. She was not ecstatic either. 

They were walking toward the hangar when four men stopped them and Whitethorn stopped 

“I thought I told you to go over the last tactics we developed.” He really had no idea on how to talk to people.

“We just finished.” Said the older of the group.

“Hi gorgeous.” 

Aelin turned to the voice and saw a stunning blonde man staring at her “I am Flight Lieutenant Fenrys Moonbeam, m’lady. I hope our cold hearted captain is treating you nicely. We have been trying to teach him manners…”

Aelin laughed. So they had sense of humour. It was just Whitethorn.

“Lieutenant, why don’t you go and clean your jet until it shines like a mirror?”

Fenrys got closer to her “he is old and cranky.” Then he straightened up “call me if you need a fun guide during your time at the base, Captain.”

“Lieutenant!” Whitethorn barked with a tone that did not admit any more games. 

The older man grabbed Fenrys arm and pulled him away “let’s go pup. Don’t anger the man.”

“Bye guys.” Aelin waved as they walked away.

“They are my squadron.” Whitethorn finally spoke and she turned at him in surprise “The man who took Fenrys away is Gavriel and he is Wing Commander. He is basically my second. The other two were Vaughan and Connall and, well, Fenrys. They are all Flight Lieutenants.” He sighed “Fenrys is a good pilot but he is still young.”

“The only person with a sense of humour inside here and you shot him down that way?” She shook her head “Come on grampa, let’s go and do our job.”

Aelin walked away with a swagger and when she was not looking his lips bent in a fraction of a smile. The woman was a force of nature and for some reason he could not explain why he had spent the previous night wondering about the fierce woman who had not backed down and who face him fiercely. Not that he would ever admit to anyone, but  he found her madly attractive. 

She was now walking in front of him and was almost skipping and he had to try very hard not to chuckle at the scene.

“You are going the wrong way.” His tone cold again.

“Well, then get your arse in front of me and lead the way.” She stopped and waited for him to walk past her. While behind him she sneaked a peak at the man and she realised that Ansel had been right. Her gaze lingered on his backside and some very improper thoughts passed through her mind. Her gaze trailed up to his broad shoulders and lingered on his short silver hair and then dropped to the strong hands folded behind his back. Some very improper thought passed through her mind but she shook them off. He was a horrible man. She was not going down that road. Boundaries. 

“We are here.” His voice woke her up from her thoughts.

From her bag Aelin extracted two masks and a torch. She threw one of the masks to Mr cranky pants “put this on. There will be still fumes lingering and they are very toxic.”

Thankfully he accepted the mask without complaints. It looks like he was intelligent enough to understand the risks.

He unlocked the place and allowed Aelin to go in first. He trailed behind and let her work in silence. 

“What kind of jobs do you do in here?”

“Hangar two is were the jets needing heavy maintenance are moved to. Hangar one is the main one where all the jets ready for take off are kept.”

She moved around pointing the light in some specific areas “Am I correct in saying that the planes in here do not have any fuel and are not armed.”

She saw him nod “The fuel is removed as soon as they are moved in here. A small amount is added only when they need to be moved back to the main hangar. And yes, no weapon of any type is held here or in hangar one for all that matters. We have very tight procedure for ammunition and the missiles are loaded only an hour prior to take off and armed only after the jets have left the base.”

Aelin nodded, well, at least it seemed that on some areas they had their shit together.

She moved to what looked like the epicentre of the fire and crouched down and touched a strange puddle on the floor. She smelled it and cursed. That smelled like kerosene but a doubt was nagging her. The puddle looked big enough to be a leak.

“Do you keep track of the repairs done in each bay?”

“We do and I have the jobs recorded for yesterday in bay four.” Then his eyes reacted in shock “It looks like the jet in bay four had suffered a fuel tank leak and was scheduled for a repair or possibly a replacement.”

Aelin walked around the charred remains of the jet then she noticed a panel missing on the side “help me here Captain, what is this panel for?” And she flashed the light inside the livery.

“This is the access panel for the tank. It looks like they had started the works already.”

“I am allowed to make a guess Captain?”

“By all means.” He stood at her side.

“My theory is that while the tank was emptied fuel leaked out. Whoever did the job, did not realise it. Once the tank was empty he proceeded with the replacement job and used tools that might have caused a spark and ignited the fuel and caused the explosion. Am I getting closer?”

“I have a feeling ma’am that you are on the right track, alas.”

She crouched again and stared at the puddle “however, this is not how kerosene works… kerosene does not catches fire easily. It has a high flash point.” she muttered to herself then she turned to the man behind her “Captain, are you using a special type of fuel? Jets are usually powered by kerosene.”

He froze and she knew she had hit the jackpot.

He cleared his throat “we have been experimenting with other fuels and liquid oxygen.”

“Fuck,” muttered Aelin turning and standing “do you really need all that power?”

“As I said we have been experimenting. This plane was one of the new prototypes.” He confessed.

“How many of these monsters do you have?”

“I am not allowed to tell. This is as much as I have been authorised to say.”

“Damn it Captain.” She shouted.

“They are not on the premises and in a very remote location away from inhabited areas. This one was here for testing.” His face grew dark all of a sudden “I was meant to fly it.”

Aelin gasped “are you telling me that you were willing to strap yourself in this crazy thing and risk your life with something clearly not stable?”

He looked away “It’s my job after all.”

“Shit.” Aelin stood and walked away. Why was she even caring about him.

“Captain…”

But she brushed him off and kept inspecting the area “your fire extinguishers a too far away and it takes a person too much time to grab one. And you need more.” Then she turned to the Captain “I assume they at least know how to use it…” he nodded.

“Well, that’s a start but we will have refresher session. That never hurts and you guys will have to do it as well.”

He nodded.

“Fine. Take me to hangar bay one.”

“Follow me.” He just said and started walking still thinking about her reaction and was stunned that for a moment she had seemed to care.

The two walked in silence and Aelin followed him looking around the base and noticing things.

Once in the main hangar bay, Whitethorn opened the door and Aelin stood still at the sight. In front of her there were at least ten jets. All painted in the Terrasen green. They were a sight to behold.

“I am not sure I agree with their use but they look majestic.”

The captain nodded while he stood at her side, hands folded behind his back “come.”

He walked to one of the jets, said something to one of the engineers buzzing around it and it was just the two of them “This one is mine.”

Aelin traced her hand to the livery “Iceman?” She asked noticing the word painted just under the canopy.

“My call sign.”

Aelin chuckled “I guess it fits you perfectly.” Then she walked to the stepladder “Can I?” She asked. She was dying to sit in the cockpit. Just for a few minutes. She could not get distracted but she wanted to do it.

The Captain moved closer to her “be careful on the ladder.” She flashed him a smug smile and Whitethorn kept a watchful eye while she climbed turning his head when her backside was basically in his face. Once at the top she climbed over the edge and sat in the cockpit quite skilfully and now she looked down at him with a big grin. His heart jumped. When she smiled she was the most stunning creature he had seen. A brat, but still a gorgeous brat.

A moment later he had noticed she had taken his helmet and was now trying to wear it. He held back a chuckle and climbed the ladder “let me.” He was so close to her that he could smell her scent of lavender and jasmine. He helped her fastening the helmet properly then he turned to some of the dials on the dashboard.

“This is the altimeter” for some reason he leaned forward and started to explain her some of the dials in the cockpit “this is to check the speed and this one tells how many g’s we are pulling. That is—“ but he got interrupted.

“I know what that is Captain. How many g’s do you pull max?”

“9 in a vertical steep ascent, dogfights and in some turns as well. We never sustain it for too long because it’s dangerous.” He leaned on the livery “we wear special suits called G suits that help with the pressure and we undergo a crazy amount of training in the centrifuge and we also have to keep a strict exercise and health regime.”

That, she had noticed the previous day and on a couple of occasions she had imagined the amount of muscles under that uniform of his.

“Let’s get back to work.” She said, saving herself from the strange direction her thoughts had wondered. She stood and the Captain straightened and moved closer to her “be careful, climbing is much easier than coming down.” She turned and gave her back to him and felt a phantom of his hand on her back. He was not touching her but she could feel his hand lingering there, protecting her.

“Ok, one rung at a time.” His tone had changed as well and somehow the iciness had gone “Good, one more and you are there.”

Aelin climbed off the last rung and turned only to crash into his hard chest. She had not realised how close he was standing and when she looked up she met his eyes. They looked brighter and they had a strange light she could not place. As soon as she realised how close they were standing she backed away and for a very brief second she thought she noticed disappointment in his expression.

“Thank you for that Captain. Now I can brag that I sat in a fighter jet.”

He nodded but did not added anything. 

They finished inspecting the main hangar and Aelin looked puzzled “How is it possible that this hangar is all up to code and perfect. Such a discrepancy does not make sense.”

“Salvaterre took over from our old CO only six months ago.” He sighed “do you want the diplomatic answer or the actual truth?”

“What do you think?” Her answer was a bit harsher than she intended “Sorry, I did not mean it like that. The truth of course.”

“Our old CO was very much a friend with Havillard senior. And I think politics and money are the answer to your question.”

“I don’t fucking it believe it.” She almost shouted in frustration “so these bastards prefer to save some money and leave a hangar with very little safety?” She leaned against the plane and looked up to try and calm down for a moment “It’s disgusting.”

“We both got new COs who both seem to be more decent individual. Let’s leave the past where it is and fix things from now onwards.”

Aelin smiled at him “this might be one of the wisest thing you said since I met you.”

Whitethorn glared at her but she ignored him.

They spent another hour going around the base and Aelin completed her inspection. There were some issues but all things that could be easily fixed and she was relieved that although the base was not in its best of state it was definitely not as in bad condition as she thought after the disaster in the secondary hangar.

“Captain, that’s me all done. I would like you to come to the station tomorrow so we can discuss an action plan and put forward some ideas for your CO.”

“I can do that. Do you have a preferred time?”

“Would morning at 9am be okay for you or is it too early?”

“It’s fine.” 

“Amazing.” Aelin flashed him a very bright smile and then extracted a card from the pocket of her jacket “These are my contact details. If you have any question you can email me or phone me.” She pointed at the card “that is my direct phone number at work. The address of the fire station is on as well.”

The man accepted the card and placed in the trousers pockets of his uniform.

“Well, Captain Whitethorn, thank you for today. And I will see you tomorrow.” She extended her hand and the man took it.

He nodded and in silence he walked her back to the check point. Another nod and he turned on his heels with military precision and walked away.

Aelin stood to study the man for a moment. She found him fascinating. He was still an emotionless prick but there was something that got her attention. She hoped that working together would become easier in the long run otherwise it would be a very long and touch liaison mission.

Eventually she got back in the car and returned to work.

[ice-assiest]

☾ MOON CHILD ☽ Part 2. Bolin x Bloodbender Reader

♡ part one 

 ♡ word count: 9k omg I’m sorry y’all also thank you so much for the positive feedback from the first part it literally means the world to me

♡ requested by: @the-quackson-brothers​ !!!

♡ “maybe do where the reader is Sokka’s child/grandchild and they have Sokka personality but with more shyness to it! The reader is a waterbender and blood bender but no one knows expect for Korra and Katara. Reader uses it against Amon." 

♡ Pairing: Bolin x Bloodbender Reader (Grandchild of Sokka)

♡ Warnings: nothing crazy! the teeniest bit of steam at the end and an old man w sharp teeth

“Let’s check out Bolin’s usual hangout first.” Mako suggested as the both of you uncomfortably shifted up and down on Naga’s back, still getting used to the feel.

“Alright, just show me the way.” Korra skillfully lead the polar bear dog.

The sounds of the city were loud in your ears, reminding you of its busyness. You watched as the shadows of people entered and exited buildings, the chances of finding Bolin seeming slimmer and slimmer.

“I think we should split up.”

“Huh?” Korra turned around, her expression filled with concern.

“It’s just, I think we need to find him quickly. You and Mako can go to where we were going to go, and I want check the Cactus Juice Bar.”

“(Y/N), I don’t know that sounds dangerous. You don’t know the city well and I don’t want you to get lost or hurt-“ Korra began, but it was you who cut her off.

“I’ll be alright Korra, trust me.” She quietly looked back at you, signaling Naga to stop. The three of you got off of the polar bear dog but Korra pulled you to the side.

“(Y/N), I trust you. I know this is something you already think about all the time but no matter what happens you can’t let people know you’re a blood bender. It’s illegal. And I know you like Bolin a lot, just don’t do something crazy.” She said with a whisper, glancing around her before proceeding, “Not that you would do it anyways, just be safe.” A sigh left her mouth and you could see the distress in her face.

You reached up to give her a hug but stopped in your tracks.

Clink.

Your head quickly turned to the direction of the sound, eyes scanning the dark alleyway besides the both of you.

“(Y/N)! Are you even paying attention?”

“Yes! I promise I was! I feel like I should be the one warning you not to do anything crazy, now go have fun on your date with Mako!” You teased, her eyes widened at your words.

“You ready to go?” Mako called out from besides Naga.

“Yeah!” She responded, giving you one final look over before joining him. You waved to the both of them as you watched them ride off into the distance. Now for your destination, the Cactus Juice Bar.

“Excuse me young miss,” An older man’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts as their shoulder bumped into yours.

“You’re fine.” You muttered before feeling something different, your ring. It was gone. “Hey!” You turned around, shouting at the old man that you were sure took it from you. He turned around, eyes wide as he began to run away.

You felt yourself becoming light-headed as your body filled with panic. That was you dad’s ring. How could someone casually take something that important away from you?

Anger flooded your mind as you reached for the vial of water that lay at your side. You thought of water bending but there were too many people around. He began to get farther away from you, almost lost in the crowd of Republic City citizens, but still in sight. The only way to get it back would be to-

The image of Katara’s pain filled eyes became present in your mind, you couldn’t. You simply watched as he disappeared into the sea of people with a heavy heart.

“Not even two minutes by myself and look what happened.” You said with a sigh, now officially en route to the Cactus Juice.

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The air in the back of the truck was thick, a dispirited expression on every bender’s face. Their thoughts may have varied individually but one question bounced between them all, what’s going to happen?

Bolin’s eyes fell downwards, as one more person got thrown into the back of the truck. An old man gagged and bound like the rest of them. His thoughts then shifted to you.

“Hey kid, you want me to take off your tie?” The old man whispered; his mouth no longer confined by the cloth that everyone else had tied around theirs. Bolin looked at him in confusion, eyes wide as he tried to deduce how that happened.

“I got sharp teeth!” The man exclaimed, flashing his razor-sharp smile. He began leaning closer to Bolin’s face, the earth bender shaking his head furiously and releasing muffled grunts of protest, not wanting him to get any closer than he already was. Although it seemed that sharp teeth did not get the message as he grabbed the cloth that was tied around Bolin’s mouth with his own and gnawed his way through it in a way that reminded Bolin of Pabu.

“Oh, uh, thanks I guess?”  Despite the fact that the man hadn’t touched him he still felt oddly violated.

“My name’s Rif Raf Rag and I can’t stand silence.” He said with a booming laugh, echoing through the back of the truck. Bolin cringed at the volume of Rag’s voice, wondering when the chi-blockers would come and tie them back up again.

“I’m Bolin! Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, wish it were under different circumstances.” He looked Bolin up and down. “Just kidding! I would never talk to you otherwise.” He said with another loud punch of laughter, the person next to Rag started to make muffled noises, clearly asking to be reunited with their freedom of speech.

“Lightning Bolt Zolt?!” Bolin exclaimed; the man who had seemed too large to him as a child was now someone he could meet the gaze of albeit still nervous.

“I’d take yours off too, I really would pal, but my jaw needs a break. We have all the time in the world though I’ll do it eventually.” Rag’s words rang true as not one bender felt movement of the truck, wherever they were, they were definitely stagnant.

“Now Bolin,” The old man said, snapping his face towards him. “Talk to me!”

Bolin felt uncomfortable for a number of reasons, one could be largely attributed to Rag’s lack of personal space, the other reason could be that all the kidnapped benders were looking towards the pair.

“Uhhh, why are your teeth so sharp?” Bolin asked, the smiling old man disappeared at his words.

“Get ready for a tale.”

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Outside was a pond surrounded by peaceful turtle-ducks, small flowers and leaves shooting up from the areas around it. The calmness of it being the direct opposite of what was happening in the building that rest behind it.

“Amon sir!” An equalist rushed into the meeting room, shutting the door quickly behind him. When he looked up he was faced with Hiroshi Sato, Amon, and his principle Lieutenant.

“This better be important,” The lieutenant threatened. A meeting between Amon and Sato being quite the occasion to walk in on.

“It is! I promise,” The man began. “I was in the city when I saw the Avatar.” Despite his nerves and hesitant demeanor, his words peaked Amon’s interest.

“Continue.”

“I have reason to believe she’s going to be at the rally tonight, and I have even more reason to believe she’s bringing a blood bender. For the revelation demonstration we took one of the Avatars friends, they’re looking into his location now. I also believe the blood bender has a uh, special type of relationship with their earth bender friend.”

“Why would we need to know about that?” The lieutenant complained, “Don’t just come in here to say funny stuff-“ He began to scold but was stopped as he saw Amon put his hand in the air.

“No, all of that information was useful. Thank you, my brother.” The equalist tried to contain his giddy smile from being complimented by Amon but failed miserably.

“No, thank you my brother.” He said, leaving the room.

“What do you want to do Amon?” The lieutenant asked. Amon simply stood up from his seat, walking until he reached the window. From it he saw bird swoop down into the pond to catch a fish.

“Let’s show people how truly evil benders can be.”

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“And I cried as I watched my true love get married to another man, anyways that’s why my teeth are so sharp. ” Rag said, closing the dramatic retelling of his life with a solemn sigh.

“T-That’s so sad!” Bolin exclaimed; eyes brimming with tears. “You’ve been through so much Rag! But you made it! You made it through!”

Zolt’s eyebrow twitched.

“That is also why they call me the love doctor; do you have any burning questions about romance? Do you have a beau? “

“No? Yes? I don’t know, I just met someone and I don’t know how to officially ask them out on a date but they’re perfect.” He began, eyes dreamily looking to the skies – or at least the top of vehicle – as he began to describe you. “They’re so smart and pretty, they like the same food as I do and they smells like flowers. When they look me straight in the eyes it’s like I can’t function anymore-” He continued, slowly coming back to reality as he noticed that the truck of mostly criminals were staring at him. Clearly embarrassed to be voicing romantic thoughts his voice trailed off. “Oops, sorry. I will now proceed to stop talking.”

“Don’t be afraid Bolin, you can tell us!” A large man said from across the truck, the group of benders had bonded in their short time together.

“Thank you for the encouragement Flaming Hot Death Vishnick, y’know if you hadn’t have burned down all of those hospitals, you’d almost be a good guy.” Bolin responded, the tone of the conversation almost being one of group therapy.

“Awh, thank you Bolin.” The fire bender responded, pleased at his new friends’ words.

“No, thank you Flaming Hot Death-“

“Would you please shut your yaps!” Zolt exclaimed, the only bender of the group that was considerably annoyed with the situation. He had his fair share of kidnappings but none where he had to listen to such, what he deemed to be, garbage.

“This is supposed to be a supportive and caring environment Zolt.”  Rag said, glaring at the leader of the Triple Threat Triads.

“Even when you were a kid collecting bets for the pro-bending matches you talked too much,” At that Bolin gulped, still nervous about the fact that it was Lightning Bolt Zolt talking to him, “Listen, I’ve had my fair share of dating experience. You just gotta be confident, and be yourself.”

Bolin’s jaw dropped, did Lightning Bolt Zolt just give him dating advice?

“And make sure to give ‘em something shiny and expensive like this!” At that Rag turned his back to Bolin and flashed the silver ring that fit tightly on the lower end of his ring finger.

“Wha- that’s! How did you get that Rag?” The old man shrugged his shoulders.

“Picked it up off of someone in water tribe clothes, almost got away with it too but they felt it. Luckily there was a lot of people walking around so I lost ‘em in the crowd.”

“Rag! That’s (Y/N)’s ! The person I was talking about! Please, please, please, can I have it to give back to them?”

“But I like shiny things.” He said with disappointment as he felt the ring around his finger.

“And what could be shinier than the thrill of new love?” Bolin asked, getting desperate. Rag sighed, feeling the ring one more time.

“Fine, you can have it kid.”

“Woohoo! Thank you so much Rif Raf Rag, it’ll mean the world to her to get this back.”

“On one condition. You gotta give ol’ Rag a massage.”

Bolin gulped as he looked over the crusty old man.

For (Y/N).

He was going to get that ring back, and as he brought his feet up to the massage the old man next to him he decided if he made it out alive he would ask you out too.

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You burst through the bar doors, surprising everyone except the man who had a little too much cactus juice.

“Carole! Bolin’s in trouble!” With your words she quickly shot up from behind the counter, rushing your panicked self over to her.

“What happened?”

“We haven’t seen him since yesterday, and Mako said it’s unlike him to run off without telling anyone.” Carole stopped, her hand moving to a comfortable position under her chin as she thought.

“He hasn’t come back here since we saw the both of you, I’m sorry sweetie I wish I could tell you more.”

Your heart fell.

“But I do have something for you, let me go get it from the back.” Carole said before quickly  making her way through the door that led to the kitchen.

“I saw him.”

Your head turned towards the unknown voice, eyes landing on the same eyes that had glared at you the night before.

“But I wouldn’t tell a bender like you, and whatever’s going to happen to him he probably deserves it.” You slowly stepped towards him, trying to control your anger

“Why don’t you just tell me what you saw and we can all have a great day.”

“What, are you going to threaten me with your bending?” He asked with a smirk, other patrons of the bar now focused on the two of you.

“No, I was actually planning to use my fists.” The words came out of you harshly, paired with a sharp glare on your face.

“Bring it on.” He said, shooting up out of his seat. The hot cup of tea that sat next to him wobbled as his arm hit it, the boiling hot liquid splashing on the exposed skin of his left arm. You gasped as you heard a shout of pain escape the man.

Instinctively your body reacted, bending the hot liquid off of his arm, cooling it, then bending it back towards him.

“Ah!” He shouted, expecting the burning liquid to hit him again at full force, but instead he felt a cooling sensation. “Y-you’re healing me?” He asked, baffled as he watched you focus your swirling of the water onto the red area.

“Yup, I guess I am.” You said with a sigh, “apparently I’m not so good at this threatening people thing.”

“I hope you know I’m not asking you to heal me.” He muttered under his breath, blush fanning across his cheeks.

“Is it that hard to admit you’re being helped by bending?”

“Well, uh, you wouldn’t understand what it’s like! You’re not a non-bender.”

“Yeah I’m not. My grandfather was though, so are my parents. I have no doubt that at some point in their lives they had trouble accepting that,” You said as you continued swirl water on his arm, “But in the end they embraced it! My grandfather not only mastered all of the non-bending combat styles, but also designed machines that would work with the aid of bending.”

His eyes widened comically large, he took his good arm and pointed it towards you.

“Your grandfather was the Chieftan of the Southern Water Tribe!?” You laughed at his shock, nodding your head yes.

“The one and only. He came to see the beauty in bending and worked with it, although Gran-Gran did say he was an ass about it at first. He even told my Uncle Tenzin, one of the last air-benders,  to not depend only on air-bending because reflexes and strategy were just as important, maybe even more so. I know he’d be saddened to see what’s happening right now.”

The man looked down, processing your words. In this time, you finished healing him leaving his arm, it was as good as new.

“For all I know you could be lying to me.”

You sighed, beginning to make your way to the door.

“Wait.”

You stopped in your tracks.

“I saw him get approached by Shady Shin yesterday while he was on a bench, I know that’s not much but it’s all I got. I also saw some chi-blockers in the area, I don’t know if it’s connected to Amon or not.” His voice was soft as he spoke, not daring to look you in the eyes. You smiled at him,

“Thank you so much.”  You said, only to then see Carole jump out of the back-door clasping something in her hands.

“(Y/N)! Before you leave!” She said  making her way towards you while slightly out of breath. “This is my lucky stone, I don’t give it to just anyone now. When you see that Amon, I want you to throw it at him for giving non-benders a bad name! If anyone doesn’t like it, they can eat a scorching hot soup dumpling.” The short shop owner in front of you radiated anger when talking about the masked man. You took the stone from her hand and held it over your own heart.

“I promise.”

She nodded to you as you left the building to find Korra and Mako, now excited at the prospect of throwing a stone at Amon.

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“Korra, fix the scarf.” You said as you looked both Mako and Korra up and down. When you found them and told them you heard Bolin’s kidnapping might be related to Amon they brought up the fliers they got from an equalist at the park with maps on the back.

From there the three of you quickly got disguises and conned your way into the building, finding Pabu along the way. You took a lot of joy in forcing Mako and Korra to pretend to be a couple.

“I knew a lot of people hated benders, but I’ve never seen so many in one place.” Mako said as he watched the large crowd ripple in waves, united only by what you could only assume was fear or hatred. “Keep your eyes out for Bolin.”

The lights snapped on, filling the large stage with a stark brightness as an announcer began to echo through the room.

“Please welcome your hero, your savior, Amon!” The audience burst out in cheers, some screaming so emphatically their faces reddened. The man next to the three of you ripped off his shirt and circled it above his head in excitement, spreading his scent to all nearby. In front of the large Amon poster on the stage shadowed figures rose from the ground, of which you could only assume Amon was one of.

The overhead lighting then flashed on; you couldn’t help the small gasp that you released.

You saw the mask that had been on all those posters. Amon.

“My quest for equality began many years ago.” he said, his hands gesturing outwards. “When I was a boy my family and I lived on a small farm. We weren’t rich, and none of us were benders. This made us very easy targets for the fire bender who extorted my father.” Amon began to pace around the stage, the bright lighting that reflected from his mask leaving a mark of terror on you.

“One day my father confronted this man, but when he did that fire bender took my family from me. Then he took my face. I’ve been forced to hide behind a mask ever since.” Gasps emerged from the crowd and from what you heard they seemed justified.

“As you know, the avatar has recently arrived in Republic City.” He said, the crowd now igniting in fierce boos that reminded Korra to pull Mako’s scarf up.

“And if she were here, she would tell you that bending brings balance to the world.” Amon paused, letting his deep voice resonate within the room.  “She is wrong, the only thing bending has brought to the world is suffering. It has been the cause of every war in every era.”

At this you couldn’t help but feel as if he were wrong. There were most definitely benders that were terrible people, but you had a sneaking suspicion even if people couldn’t bend, they’d still find a reason to take advantage of others and go to war.

“That is about to change. I know you have been wondering what the revelation is, well you’re about to get your answer. Since the beginning to time spirits have acted as guardians of our world, and they have spoken to me. They say the avatar has failed humanity, that is why the spirits have chosen me to usher in a new era of balance. They have granted me a power that will make equality a reality, the power to take a person’s bending away. Permanently.”

You gulped, eyes widening as your deepest fear was realized. The three of you looked at each other in disbelief, your hands now both clinging to Mako and Korra’s.

“That’s impossible.” Korra muttered.

“He’s insane! There’s no way.” Mako said, but you felt that his confidence in his own words was wavering.

“Now for a demonstration, please welcome Lightning Bolt Zolt. Leader of Triple Threat Triad, and one of the most notorious criminals in Republic City.” You heard, but your brain couldn’t process a thing as soon as you saw Bolin being ushered on stage. The same Bolin that had been slurping noodles was now displayed in front of a crowd with his hands bound behind his back. The flash of the intense white light that shone across his face caused him to wince. Your heart began beating erratically as the chi-blockers forced him to his knees, his face twisting into one of terror as he went down with the other benders. He was finally here, but you had no way to get to him.

Your gaze fell to the palms of your hands; they were trembling. No, you couldn’t. Although the light peeking in from the full moon suggested otherwise.

“There’s Bolin.” Korra said, beginning to walk forward. Mako put his arm out effectively stopping her. The two of you looked at each other and nodded, now was not the time.

“We can’t fight all of them. We have to come up with a plan.” Mako said, eyes shifting between the both of you and the stage.

“Well then come up with a plan, Team Captain.”

Your eyes scanned the room quickly, landing on the two tanks connected to pipes.

“Those tanks,” you began, grabbing both Mako and Korra. “They’re powered by water and steam; they should connect to the pipes in the back.”

“So, if one of us goes back there and creates cover,” Mako started.

“Then we can grab Bolin without ever being seen.” You finished, the three of you nodded. Korra immediately began to make her way to the back as you could only stand and watch.

The crowd booed at Zolt, causing him to retaliate in not the most mature of ways.

“Oh, boo yourself!” He shouted as the crowd continued their passionate displays of hatred.

“Zolt has amassed a fortune by extorting and abusing non-benders, but his reign of terror is about to come to an end.” Amon announced before turning his head to the side, facing the leader of the Triple Threat Triads. “Now, in the interest of fairness, I will give Zolt the chance to fight to keep his bending.”

Zolt smirked clearly resonating cockiness as he faced the masked man. “You’re going to regret doing that pal!”  

Immediately Zolt began throwing fire at Amon, the man with the mask skillfully dodging each and every flame filled burst with fluidity and speed as he approached Zolt. The fire benders eyes widened, a blue cackle of electricity shot out of his fingers in desperation, again Amon dodged it. Then grabbing the arm the lighting was coming from and twisting, Amon had positioned Zolt in such a way that his thumb could find a comfortable resting spot on Zolt’s forehead.

Both you and Mako watched in terror as the lightning coming from Zolt’s fingers began to lessen in power, slowly becoming reduced to flames, then to nothing at all.

Zolt tried to get up, his body weak from the interaction. His fist reached out in an attempt to fire bend. Nothing.

“What did you do to me?” He asked. Seeing the leader of such a notorious gang on the floor in front of Amon was almost symbolic. The power he held so large that he didn’t even have to break a sweat.

“Your fire bending is gone forever. A new era of equality has begun!” Amon said as he raised his fist, the audience did the same while they cheered. Instead your fist lay clasped at your side, sticky with sweat as Amon called the next bender forward.

C’mon Korra. You thought as the numbers began to dwindle, there was only so much time before it was Bolin.

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She took a quick glance both left and right before leaving the main area of the building and sneaking to the back. Her steps were both fast and quiet as she tried to make her ways to the pipes that you had mentioned.

Her nerves were high because of Bolin, but also because of you. With the full moon your power would be unbridled, and if anything were to happen where you exposed yourself… Korra sighed at the thought, just hoping you would be alright. She had to keep it a secret, for you. Blood bending is illegal.

While scanning the room her eyes came across a red wheel connected to the pipes. She quickly made her way over, turning the wheel as hard as she could resulting in a small stream of steam.

“What are you doing here?” Korra turned slowly, slightly hoping that in the time it took for her to turn around he would leave her alone. When fully turned she looked up to see a large man. Shit.

“Is there a problem, my brother?” She asked feigning complete innocence with a smile. Her entire face having to tilt upwards to look at him. His expression was one of undoubted suspicion as he looked Korra up and down.

“What are you doing back here?”

“Uh, looking for the bathroom?” She winced, despite using that line a lot, not once has it worked for her.

Apparently, it didn’t work again as she saw the man reach to his side and pull out a wrench, aiming for her head. She dodged it, quickly leaving harms way as the wrench hit the pipe that was behind her.

Using Mako’s scarf she tied the man’s arm to it, swinging him until she had the momentum to throw him at the three pipes. Steam began rushing out of only one.

“This isn’t enough.” She said to herself, knowing that she lacked time. Frantically she looked around the room, the only way to get enough steam would be to break the other two pipes. She turned to them and started fire bending through one of them.

“I just hope I’m not too late.” She thought.

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You watched as the water bender with particularly sharp teeth next to Bolin screamed in resistance and felt your body cringe as you heard the thud of his hitting the floor.

Bolin was next.

“Mako, I’m going to distract them until Korra gets the steam going.” you whispered, indiscreetly obtaining the attention of the fire bender. “Pretend you don’t know me, it’ll be easier. Go help Korra.”

“(Y/N) what are you talking about?” Mako asked, eyes wide. Instead of responding you pulled out the stone from Carole, kissing it for good luck.

“This one’s for Carole!” You shouted as you threw it onto the stage. The stone in its grandiose hit Amon right on the forehead of his mask, but it wasn’t enough to take it off. The crowd gasped and looked around for the rebel.

“Now give me back my friend!”

The chi-blockers closest to your row immediately tried to grab you, your hands thrusting out and around you bending a harsh wave of the water from your vial towards them, effectively knocking them off their feet. You could feel the power of the full moon surging from within you, and as you looked at the chi-blockers that were now on the ground you feared you would succumb to it.

A wave of new chi-blockers now approached you, there were too many to handle. Despite this you felt relief as you looked at the stage. Amon was distracted, for now. You watched as Mako made his way to through the door Korra had.

“Stop.” Amon’s calm voice said as his settled on you, you felt your skin crawl.

“Let the bender speak.”

Your heart dropped, the eyes of everyone from the audience now on you. You felt yourself begin to sweat, the room becoming smaller and smaller as everyone waited for your voice. You hadn’t expected this, you didn’t know what kind of game he was playing but you did know it would buy you time. The chi-blockers began to close in on you, suspecting that violence was to come instead of an answer.

Taking a deep breath you reassured yourself, “If anyone doesn’t like it, they can eat a scorching hot soup dumpling.”

“Everyone please!” You began, the volume of your voice surprising you as it resonated within the room. “These people are innocent just like you! Well, most of them.” You said as you looked at Lighting Bolt Zolt. “There shouldn’t be such a divide between benders and non-benders. I know there are bad people in the world, I truly do. Taking away bending isn’t the solution; people will do anything to gain power! Who’s to say a man that would use bending to rob a store wouldn’t still rob the store if he wasn’t a bender with like a knife or something!”

At this you looked over the crowd, scanning the faces of those closest to you.

“When one of those bad people are benders their power is exacerbated, it’s a big problem. Although I’d argue that there are good and bad benders just as there are non-benders!”

“Like the bender that robbed my store?! They’re good?!” The shirtless man shouted from the audience, a chorus of yeahs and mhms coming to his support.

“No! That’s completely not my point! Also sir, I think everyone around you would appreciate it if you put your shirt back on.” He sniffed himself, frowning before sulkily dressing himself again.

“Bending has its beauty! There are so many good uses for it including healing,” at this some people in the crowd hummed in agreement. “My grandfather was an amazing non-bender, and so are my father and mother! They’re not helpless because they’re not benders!”

“Then why do you have such a problem with Amon taking peoples bending away!?” Someone from the audience called out.

“Yeah! Is becoming a non-bender that terrible!”

“If we’re all the same then why don’t we all have bending!”

This wasn’t going well. Your eyes began to dart around in panic.

“No! It’s not like that! It’s just- “You started, but more hecklers began voicing their opinions. The room began to grow smaller as your fear doubled in size, like a darkness that was slowly engulfing every part of the room.

“Interesting words,” Amon said slowly, approaching Bolin on the stage. “for a blood bender.” The crowd gasped; how did he know?

Your entire body was trembling, they all hated you and you could feel it. You looked at Bolin on the and saw the fear in his eyes, only he wasn’t looking at Amon.

“No, I’m not!” You defended; he didn’t know. No one knew.

“We’ll see about that.” Amon said, sounding almost as if he was smiling under his mask. With a nod from his head, two chi-blockers held Bolin down and Amon began walking towards him. No, no, no, no. There was no way you could get there in time. Bolin’s face shifted into one of horror as Amon grabbed his chin, looking him in the eyes.

His thumb approached Bolin’s forehead. You were sweating, your heart feeling as if it were to come out of your chest. Vision blurry from the tears that threatened to erupt from your eyes. Nausea blossomed in your stomach and your throat felt tight as your breaths became shorter and more frequent. Your morals. Your reputation. Your promise.

Bolin.

You had to do something. With a deep breath you focused, channeling the energy of the full moon into your body. The time was now. You raised your arms and they moved so naturally it scared you, the chi-blockers holding Bolin down began to contort in pain. Their bodies twisting and spazzing as you raised them above Bolin and flung them to the side.

It felt natural.

Without another thought you bended the water from your vial to make a frozen path to the stage, running on it and melting it before the guards could even blink. Amon backed away from Bolin letting the chi-blockers surround you. In an instant the group of eight were in the air, you slammed each one down onto the stage trying your best to just knock them out.

For some reason, Amon displayed no fear. The two of you stood on stage watching each other intently. You slowly backed yourself towards Bolin while the you and Amon continued to stare at each other. The other chi-blockers stood on guard, waiting for your move.

“She can manipulate our bodies to do whatever she wants, and yet she speaks of equality.” He said. You noticed the bruises that Bolin bore on his body, and the way his arm looked bent out of shape. Anger bubbled within you filling every part of your body, infecting your mind. You wanted them all to face consequences for what they had done.

You closed your eyes, summoning a hurricane of water beneath yourself. Not only the water from your vial, but water from the entire building began to fly towards your form. You needed to hurt him.  Your arms raised again, this time with deep intention and purpose.

“(Y/N)! Don’t! It’s what he wants!” You heard Bolin exclaim, but you were too far gone. You aimed all the water that swirled beneath you at Amon, the harsh currents knocking him off of his feet. With the power of the moon you were fast. You began punching hard bursts of water at him, he managed to evade some.

Your attention then went to the chi-blockers that began to interfere after noticing the severity of the situation, your hands began circling the air, moving with the fluidity of water itself. The water around you followed this rhythm, only stopping when you flung them as ice shards at the chi-blockers, pinning them to the wall behind the stage.

Your eyes then flew to Amon standing calmly, it infuriated you. Your arms raised, blood bending him. He paused in his tracks and you could see his eyes widen from beneath his mask. You then saw him begin to struggle against it.

There’s no way.

The audience held their breath as they saw Amon’s body tremble on stage. He seemed to be putting excessive force on every muscle in his body for the chance to move. His body began to shake more, you desperately tried to concentrate harder but there was nothing you could do.

He took one step. And then another.

The audience began to cheer.

You felt something familiar in the way he was resisting your bending, how was it possible. The only was was if-

“Amon’s a blood bender.” You thought to yourself right before Amon dashed up the side of the wall, knocking you down as he did so. You grunted as your body came crashing to the ground, not having enough energy to soften your fall.

“Benders like her are evil, and they should not have the power they do.” Amon said as he slowly began to approach your body on the ground. You were paralyzed in fear as his large figure leaned over you, your tearful eyes darting around only to find themselves completely encompassed by Amon.

He grabbed your chin, pulling your face towards him. You did everything you could to pull backwards, to get away from him, to get away from everything.

“After I take your bending away, you will be nothing.”

The room went silent.

The only thing you could hear was your heart beating against your chest.

Then, you felt the light press of his thumb against your forehead.

The pain you felt was excruciating.

Your muscles seized before your body began to shake. You wanted nothing more than for it to end, the searing and burning that you felt. Your throat began to feel tight as your core tightened with it, the nausea from before now becoming dominant in its presence.

So, this is what it felt like to be blood bent.

Your knees hit the floor, the echo resonating. Through the haze of the pain you could hear muffled yells coming from the earth bender that you had come to know.

“Prepare to be equalized.”

Those were the last words you heard before your world became submerged in water. The only image before your eyes was Amon, and behind him the white light of the moon.

Your world faded to darkness.

ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ

“Korra! Are you okay?” Mako asked as he rushed through the door, accidentally stepping on the man whose body had been flung to the ground.

“Yes! I’m fine but help me break this last pipe! Hurry!” Mako nodded and immediately began to fire bend, Korra coming to help him with the copper pipe.

“(Y/N)’s distracting Amon right now.” Korra’s eyes widened at the news, she hadn’t been fast enough. Despite copper having a high melting point, the fire from the two of them released a flurry of steam. Exactly what they needed.

“I’ll go get Naga, you get Bolin and (Y/N). Meet me outside by the ladder!” Mako nodded, about to leave when Korra grabbed his arm.

“Good luck Mako.”

“Good luck Korra.”

The pair held hands for a moment before parting ways, Mako making his way back through the door he came through. The crowd has now completely dispersed, the steam had done its trick. He struggled to see through it, taking careful steps as he made his way to the stage.

At any moment he could run into his brother, or an equalist. His other senses were heightened as he attempted to evade the fog. While walking, he saw two figures. He stepped closer.

“Bolin!” Mako exclaimed as he saw his brother kneeling on the floor, as he further examined, he noticed someone else on the floor. (Y/N).

“Oh no.”

He then turned to Bolin who wore an expression of shock as he stared at the ground.

“She saved me.” He muttered as Mako made his way behind him to untie the ropes that bound him. An equalist saw this as an opportunity, trying to grab your unconscious self. That is, until he was stopped by the harsh clash of a fist striking from under his chin.  Out of his ropes Bolin punched the equalist as hard as he could, anger coming over him as he saw your limp body. He picked you up gently, holding you close against him.

The two benders walked out of the building, letting the steam cover the tracks behind them.

ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ

A throbbing pain echoed throughout your head.

Water.

Your mouth was dry, you needed water.

Slowly, you opened your eyes. The light in the room was blinding, you raised your arm to block it from your view.

“(Y/N)?” You heard a soft voice ask. Not being able to speak you let a groan out in response, raising yourself up off of the bed. Before you had time to process you felt a presence encompass you, warm and gentle in its touch. You reveled against it letting your body fall limp. Bolin. You were surprised as you felt a wetness on your face, you gripped Bolin even harder as you let the tears stream freely.

You felt the touch of Amon on your forehead, it all came back. The look on Bolin’s face while you blood bended flashed in your mind, still fresh. Hurriedly, you grabbed him. Pulling apart from your embrace just far enough to meet his eyes, noses touching. You cradled his face, pressing your forehead against his.

“Bolin, you’re okay.” You said, smiling feebly. His mouth flew open in exasperation.

“What do you mean I’m okay?! You’re okay!” He said before bringing you back into a hug. He wasn’t used to comforting people like this, but in this moment, everything happened naturally. He brought his hand to your cheeks, carefully wiping some of the tears off of your face. “The others went to go get some food, they told me to let them know when you woke up.” He said, getting up. You grabbed his arm causing him to turn around in surprise.

“Not yet.” You muttered. He gave you a gentle smile as he sat back down on the bed.

“Bolin I was so scared.” You admitted, the panic still fresh in your mind. He began to rub your back in a circular motion.

“I know. I know.” He said, eyes determined. “We’ll never let that happen again.” Albeit a bit dramatic his words rang through your mind.

“You don’t have to pretend you’re not afraid of me.” You said with a sigh, averting his gaze.

“What are you talking about?”

“You saw what I did. I fell right into Amon’s trap.” Your voice so small the earth bender could barely hear it. He fell silent, his eyes focused on the floor as he listened. “It was during the full moon, but I can- or at least could - blood bend at any time.” At this his eyes widened, the were now on you.

“That’s… Possible?”

“I was blessed by the spirit of the moon, except it’s more of a curse. The power I would feel when under it terrified me, I became scared of it. When I was hurting those people at first it was just to protect you but at one point I-I wanted to be doing it. It terrifies me how addictive it became in such a short span of time,” You brought you knees to your chest. “I promised Gran-Gran I would never do it again but, here we are.” You let out a strangled laugh, one that soon turned into a cry.

“(Y/N)-“

“No Bolin, no one should ever have that kind of power. And I thought I was the only one until-“

“(Y/N), listen. Was seeing you blood bend all those guys at the same time as well as Amon super scary to watch, yes! Absolutely! Did I think about it for a while afterwards, also yes.” Your heart panged, of course he was scared. What else could someone be after seeing what had happened, but he continued.

“Did I also see you throw a rock at Amon’s face and tell a shirtless man to dress himself while in the middle of giving an inspirational speech, yes!” With that you laughed, not fully realizing what you had done in the midst of your panic.

“Do I not really care that you were a blood bender and just really want to get to know you because you’re the nicest person I’ve met in a while, Pabu likes you, and now so does my brother I think?”

“Also yes?”

“A thousand times yes.” He said with a goofy grin plastered on his face. “I know we’ve just met but I feel like it’s been ages!”

“Probably because of the whole you getting kidnapped and me losing my bending thing.” You suggested nonchalantly, heart skipping a beat as his hand brushed yours.

“Oh right! That could be a cause of that, yes.” You giggled, causing Bolin’s smile growing wider. All he wanted to do was make you feel better. As your laughing slowed a strange tension filled the room, one you hadn’t expected. Your gaze was locked in on his, both of you feeling each other’s breath due to your sheer closeness. 

“(Y/N)!” From the door you saw Korra come rushing in with a pile of bread.  Bolin shot up immediately, knocking over the cup of water next to your bed. “Bolin! You were supposed to tell us if (Y/N) woke up!”

“Oh yeah! I was supposed to, wasn’t I?” He said as he filled the room with nervous laughter, “You know me! Always forgetting, right Pabu?” In response the fire ferret chirped at his side. Korra ran to you, throwing the pile of bread to Mako. As she embraced you tightly, she was also examining your injured body.

You heard someone clear their throat, looking up you saw Mako.

“Thank you, for helping me find my brother.” He said. You nodded, instead of being focused on what was being said to you your mind flew into uncertainty. What did they really think of you now?

“Here, let me go get you a tissue.” He said, his attention now on the puddle of water on your sheets.

“No, don’t worry. I got it.” You said, attempting to bend the water away from you. Your fingers moved but water didn’t. “Oh. Right.”

“(Y/N) don’t you worry, we are going to get every healer to try and get your bending back. You could even go to see Katara.” Korra reassured, grabbing your shoulder. The thing is, you didn’t even know if you wanted it back. Maybe Amon was meant to bring balance, maybe he took away your blood bending for a greater good.

The three looked at you, and then each other. Noting the solemn expression on your face.

“(Y/N), I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.” Korra said, the sincerity in her voice made your breath hitch.

“You helped me get my brother back, I can’t thank you enough.” Mako added, coming closer to stand besides Korra. The two looked back at Bolin, apparently it was his turn.

“You’re selfless! Gorgeous! Funny! Kind! Super strong! Compassionate-“He started before Korra cut him off with a laugh.

“I think we get the idea Bolin.” You looked at the three in front of you, all smiling and reaffirming you with their gentle gazes. It was then you knew you had found something special.

“Group hug!” Bolin shouted before taking his large arms and grabbing the three of you, pushing all of you together. As you all glanced between your squished faces bursts of laughter began to arise. It seemed Bolin could cheer you up after anything, although as the laughter slowed you couldn’t hide the feeling in the pit of your stomach.

This time another person came into the room, one you couldn’t be happier to see.

“Uncle Tenzin!” You called out; his eyes filled with relief as he saw that you were awake.

“Wha- Bolin! You were supposed to let me know when (Y/N) was awake!” Tenzin said, shaking his head in exasperation before quickly making his way over to you and giving you a hug.

“Pfft. Awake, asleep, I mean what’s the difference, right?” Bolin laughed nervously but Tenzin’s attention was elsewhere.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright? How are you feeling?” He asked panicked, looking over you the same way Korra had.

“Uncle, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” He let out with a sigh. “We were all so worried when we’d heard what happened. The kids really wanted to see you but I wasn’t sure if you were ready for all of that erhm…” He paused as he thought of a way to describe his children, “energy.”

“I’m honestly fine Uncle.” You said reassuring him. He gave you a soft smile, he had a special place in his heart for the little water bender that hailed from his uncle.

“Well, you let us know if you need anything at all. I have to leave air temple island for a bit but I’ll see you soon.” You nodded, bidding your uncle farewell leaving the previous four of you in the room with silence. Korra and Mako looked at each other before Korra spoke up,

“We’re just gonna go ahead and give you guys some room.” She said as the two of them exited as well. Just you and Bolin again.

“Oh! I forgot to bring this up before but.” He reached into his pockets, searching deeply for something with his tongue sticking slightly out.  “Here it is!”

In his palm you saw your ring, immense relief flooding your heart.

“Oh my goodness! Bolin how did you find this?”

His body recoiled, face cringing as he remembered the massage he gave Rif Raf Rag.

“Let’s not talk about that. But (Y/N), I’m sure you know your grandfather, the councilman himself! The man graced with the gift of science and innovation. We’re talking engineering water-bending power submarines, we’re taking advanced math and geometry skills, we’re talking the man who took down combustion man!”

“Yes, I do know, that’s why the thought of losing this ring made me so sad. It was like I was losing the only part of him that I had.”

“No, (Y/N), that’s not the only part of him you have.” You looked at Bolin in confusion, he moved to come sit next to you once again. “You come from such a cool line of non-benders, I just want you to know how amazing you are even without your bending. You’re so smart it absolutely blows me away. Not to mention all the ten thousand amazing other things you are. I’m sure you’ll be able to get your bending back, but even if you don’t I think you could use your brain to make something awesome like your Grandpa!”

You gave him a soft smile, heart blooming at his words. Just like before you noticed your heart beating a little bit faster now that he was besides you.

“You’re too kind.”

“Nope! I’m just being honest.” He said. “And while I’m being honest…” He began, the way his fingers began bouncing off of each other exuding nervousness.

You just gotta be confident, and be yourself.

“When you’re ready of course, wouldyoumaybewanttogoonadatewithme?” He asked eyes tightly shut, saying his last sentence so quickly that you could barely register it. So much for the confidence.

You laughed at his embarrassment, although he took that as rejection.

“Oh, nevermin-“

“Of course Bolin!” You exclaimed, “I was hoping you’d ask.”

“Woohoo!” He shouted, turning to face Pabu in excitement. With his cheek exposed you decided to give him a surprise, preparing your lips to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Although as soon as he had turned around he had turned back to you.

You weren’t sure if your heart stopped or time did when your lips met. The flutter in your heart that was present before now becoming overbearing. The only thing your mind could focus on was how his lips felt against yours, and the extreme burning you felts from your cheeks. As soon as it accidentally started, it also accidentally ended.

“What are you doing with my cousin?!” Meelo yelled in an accusatory tone, pointing at Bolin as he burst through the door. Both you and Bolin pulled away immediately, embarrassed beyond belief. The expression on Bolin’s face leading you to think that he didn’t even believe what had just happened but the grin on his face reminding you he liked it.

“I came here to see my favorite cousin-“

“Meelo, I’m your only cousin.”

“Besides the point! Who are you strange man!?”

“So you guys are going to have a bunch of babies!” Ikki exclaimed in happiness, bouncing around the room. You sighed, nothing was ever a secret with these kids. Soon Pema came, grabbing the two of them and leaving with quick apologies.

“They’re cute,” Bolin said with a yawn, his face now appearing very tired.

“They are, aren’t they.” You responded, but when you looked back Bolin had already drifted off into sleep.

You stood up, making your ways to the curtains. Taking a deep breath you opened them, letting the white light of the moon that you were terrified of before stream into your room. It encased both you and Bolin, and for the first time, you weren’t scared.

ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ ｏ

“I don’t mean to dampen to mood, but there’s a pressing issue at hand.” The four of you looked at Tenzin intensely, waiting for him to continue. 

“Word’s got out that you blood bended. The council wants to send you to trial.”

lmao jk y’all, I hoped you like it. Again thank you to @the-quackson-brothers​ 

And to the other requests I have don’t worry! I’m working on them and I really appreciate them it’s just orgo 2 is kicking my behind.

Taglist: @itsametaphorbriansblog​  @cottage-babe2​ @ajwantsapancake​ @bbecc-a​ @kiaoizz​ @ilovespideyyy​ tysm all of you, you made my entire life w your kind words ahhhhhh

[local-spoon-does-a-thing]

Stress

[(Platonic) TFP! Optimus Prime x Reader]

A/N: So this was just a little vent fic I needed to do since school is going to start up tomorrow and I am not ready for it. Sorry if it's bad, but then again, it's a vent fic. Also I finally decided to watch Transformers Prime and I really like it.

Ah yes, it was back to school day. Winter break had unfortunately passed by way too quickly for anyone’s liking, but what else could they do? For you, the first day was always so dreadful. At least you only have one more year left before you enter college. Until then, you were stuck with kids you didn’t want to be around, dreadful school lunch, and assignment anxiety. Luckily, you got to go to school with Jack and Miko. You never really knew them at first but after getting caught up in an incident between the Decepticons and Autobots, you got to meet Raf and soon, your bonds with them grew (the Fearsome Foursome as Miko would call you guys). 

It was your last period before school ended. You were absolutely waiting for the moment when you got to ride with Optimus, as he was your guardian. Sure, he was a busy ‘Bot, but he always managed to make time with you. You stared out the window at the driveway, feeling excited with which shenanigan was going to take place today. But you were suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when you hear your name get called by the teacher.

“[Y/N], do you have your assignment?” The teacher questioned as she had a stack of papers resting in her arms. Oh, son of a- you’ve forgotten to do your assignment throughout the break since you were too caught up in having fun with your friends. Then again, who the hell assigns homework on winter break? It’s called a break for a reason. Twiddling your thumbs guiltily, you shook your head no and swallowed a lump in your throat. Please don’t get detention, please don’t get detention, please-

“[Y/N] you had all of winter break to finish your assignment. You’re a 12th grader, please be more responsible. You have detention after class.” She said as she went to her desk and put the sheets of paper down. You could feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you heard the teacher resume the class and lesson. Oh great, you lost homework credit and got detention. That assignment had 50 points and it went down the drain! Welp, guess it was time to say goodbye to your grade. You felt a cloud of pessimism shadow over your head as you did your best to pay attention to what was on the whiteboard. Time slowly passed by and finally, the school bell rang. As the students rushed out of the classroom, you slowly made your way out of the room as well and instead of walking out of school, you walked to the detention room. You gave a quick message to  Jack to tell the others that you were in detention. Once the text had been sent, you entered the detention classroom and sat all the way in the back row, next to the big window. 

For some reason, time seemed to drag on even more slowly. There were a few students in the room, but they were either asleep or doing their homework. You might as well do your homework as well since there was nothing else to do. As you fetched your utensils and the sheet of work, in the corner of your eye you saw a blue and red semi-truck waiting on the driveway. You couldn’t tell, but you could feel the old leader’s gaze resting on you through the window. You prayed with all your might to not get lectured tonight since you weren’t in the mood for it. You know that he means well, but it was still irritating. Clicking your pen, you looked back down at your paper and tried to solve an equation. Unfortunately, with the heavy gaze still on you and the worry of his lecture and disappointment, you got little to nothing done on your work.

Once you were able to leave, you packed all of your stuff and quickly left the building, soon making your way towards the semi-truck. You kept your eyes on the ground as the door flung open and you entered the passengers side. As soon as the door slammed shut, the engine came to life and you two made your way back to the base. The ride was pretty quiet as your hands rested on your lap. You refused to look away from your lap and continued to brace yourself for the lecture.

“[Y/N]...” Ah, there it was. After a moment passed by, you looked up at the radio and waited for him to continue. “Jack told me that you had detention. Care to explain why?”

Ah scrap, here we go again. You sunk into your seat and crossed your arms before answering his question. “Um, I forgot to do my assignment. That’s it, I swear.”

You could hear a faint sigh coming from his radio, though you couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of disappointment. No other words were exchanged as the ride continued on. After some more time passed by, you two were back at the base. You grabbed your backpack and got out as Optimus transformed out of his vehicle mode. You looked up at him as he looked down at you, his expression unreadable. You then went on to make your way towards the couch upstairs, but you were stopped once you heard Optimus’ voice once again.

“[Y/N], please take caution on when your assignments are due. I worry that you won’t be able to graduate at this rate.”

There wasn’t much to say at that statement. You just gave him another guilty look and nod before continuing to make your way towards the couch. You could hear Miko tease about you getting attention while Jack told her off. Raf offered help for your homework, but you politely declined. As the trio went down to hang out with the other bots, you stayed at the couch and twirled the pen in between your fingers as you tried to complete your homework. Okay, maybe you did need help. Though,  it was too late to ask for any just as you went on to decline it. Your pride got in your way once more. Plus, Raf was having fun with the others and you didn’t want to spoil that. The dark cloud that loomed over your head had yet to disappear but instead, it continued to grow as each second passed by. You furrowed your eyebrows and glared intensely at the equation you were stuck on. If it were possible, there would’ve been a hole going straight through your homework as your stare was that intense. For some goddamn reason, you couldn’t concentrate on anything. Your mind and thoughts kept jumping from the time you got detention to the time you had your ride with Optimus. It was honestly very frustrating and you could blow up with anger at any given second. The sounds of the ‘Bots and your friends having fun at the other side of base didn’t help you either. 

Eventually, you tossed the pen on the table and leaned back into the couch. You stared up at the ceiling above you and let out a deep sigh. Ratchet took notice of your sigh and took a brief moment to look at you. You looked utterly exhausted while your eyebrows were still knitted together. The medic raised an optic and questioned you.

“Is there something wrong, [Y/N]? You look like you’re about to fall apart at any second.”

Lazily, you moved your head to the side and looked at him. By now, you were too tired to even give him a weak, reassuring smile. You just had to hope that Ratchet trusted your word. “No worries, everything is under control.” He didn’t believe you.

“Doesn’t look like it. Are you having problems with your homework? Optimus told me about  what happened earlier.”

Of course he would know. You were embarrassed once more and looked back up at the ceiling. You sighed once more and nodded your head, telling him that you were having problems. Ratchet let out a small hum and called for Raf. After you heard the mention of the little boy’s name, your body snapped straight up and you looked at Ratchet with panic. Before you could protest, Raf was with you. You meant no ill intent or offense towards the boy, but you couldn’t believe that you were getting help from a 12 year old.

“[Y/N] needs help with their homework.” Ratchet simply says before going back to work.

Raf nods and sits down next to you. “So, what do you need help with?”

Grabbing the sheet of paper in front of you, you showed him what you needed help on. You then stop him before you could begin solving the equation. “It’s not that I don’t know how to solve it. It’s just...it’s kinda hard to concentrate, y’know? I think I’m having one of those days.”

And Raf did understand. Everyone had one of those days where they couldn’t focus. But that didn’t make you stupid. All you wanted to do was spend time with the others, especially Optimus since one, he was your guardian. And two, Decepticon activity has been exceptionally high lately and even though he picks you up from school almost every single day, you still wanted to be with him.

“I understand, but maybe you should take a break before getting back to work. It helps a lot.” Raf suggested but you politely declined. You explained how you wanted to just get everything over with so you could hang out with the others as soon as possible. He wanted to insist, yet he respected your decision. As some time went on, you still couldn’t focus on what was happening. The young boy continued to try to explain to you the equation, but in the end you gave up. Optimus had just finished his duties and returned to the base. He laid his optics upon you and made his way towards you. Now, he could fully see the frustration and irritation written on your face as you aggressively clicked your pen.

“Is something the matter, [Y/N]?” The old Bot asked.

“[Y/N]’s having a hard time concentrating. We haven’t even finished a single problem yet.” Raf answered for you.

“Hmm, I see. [Y/N], get ready. We’re going for a drive.”

You stopped clicking your pen and looked over to Optimus, who was already in his vehicle form. Your shoulders dropped and you tossed the pen back on the table before standing up and stretching your body. You then looked back at the young boy and gave a weak but kind smile. “I’ll be back soon. Just make sure Miko doesn’t spill anything on my homework.” You tell him before waving and making your way back down.

Once you entered the vehicle, he drove his way out of the base and went outside. It was starting to become night time and there was a lovely sunset on the horizon. The gloomy cloud that was now a storm started to drift away from your head and you could feel yourself relax. It was quiet, but you liked it. One of the many things you could appreciate from Optimus was that you two would just have comfortable silences together and you loved it. You tapped on the window and signalled for him to roll it down and once he did, you stuck your head out and rested your chin on top of the door. The breeze nicely hit your face and ran through your hair. Everything was instantly better now. It was quiet for a while, but Optimus finally decided to talk to you after seeing how relaxed you are now.

“It seems that you are calm now. I’m glad that I could be of some use.” He chuckled. “Is there anything on your mind? Anything you want to...vent, as you call it?”

It took a moment for you to reply. You were contemplating on whether to tell him or not. You didn’t want to bring him down with your problems yet then again, you could really vent out right now. And so you did.

“I- um, I don’t know why, but it’s just so difficult for me to focus. I can’t focus in class, on my homework, and I couldn’t even finish a single problem. I’m always so forgetful and even when I set up reminders on my phone and what not, I always forget. I don’t get or understand why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just dumb?”

At this question, Optimus slowed down and came to a full stop. Thankfully, the two of you were in the middle of nowhere. If he could, he would place you on his shoulder while stargaze under the night sky. Unfortunately, he would be at risk of getting his cover blown.

“You are not dumb. Having trouble focusing or remembering does not make you dumb. But if you truly feel that there is something wrong with you, I highly recommend that you either see Ratchet or another professional. Just know that the Autobots and the other children will be here to support you. I know that things may seem tough right now, but you must trudge through. Things will get better soon, I promise you.”

Just like that, your worries melted away. Optimus has never broken a promise and he doesn’t plan on breaking one any time soon. You know that you can trust him and you’ve taken every one of his words to heart. Nothing else needed to be said as a relieved smile entered your face. You leaned back into the seat and rested the temple of your head against the door before shutting your eyes.

“Thank you, Optimus. Thank you for being here for me.”

“Always, [Y/N].”

[caitdjarin]

happier

Bucky Barnes x Reader

- Part two to ‘traitor’.

Warnings

Angst, Jealousy, Language, Mentions of Sex, Bucky being toxic and possessive, Arguments, Yelling, Australian/English spellings

gif is not mine

Yours and Bucky’s “friendship” literally just consisted of arguments and him apologising. A small list of reasons why he was mad at you and argued with you were

- You created a tinder account, which he had found

- You went out on a date

- You fucked someone

- You fucked someone else

It was mainly him being jealous and it royally pissed you off, you tried to talk to him or get anyone to talk to him about it, but he would not listen. It was like he thought he had some claim on you because you agreed to be civil with him and possibly start a friendship again, like before you were dating.

You had been doing particularly well with Bucky for a while, it was pleasant. Bucky had stopped his bullshit for a couple of months now and you felt like you were on the path to a friendship with him. Without all the arguing. That’s when you decided to sign up to sing at a local bar that you all went to regularly. You felt as if Bucky would be mature enough to listen. As you were about to invite him, he started an argument again, you started to think he was doing it on purpose. When you were together, every argument ended in unbelievable make-up sex. This time, he was mad that he saw someone walking out of your apartment.

“James, stop.” You yelled. “You’re acting like a fucking child. I am single, I am allowed to do whatever the fuck I want, and I will do whatever the fuck I want. You know that we will not be together again, stop causing these arguments trying to make something happen because it will not.”

He, of course, walks off.

You don’t tell Bucky about the bar. He won’t handle it well, but you invite Nat, Wanda, Steve and Vis.

-

Starting the song was probably the hardest part, pouring your feelings into the world and letting your friend know how you actually felt during.

“And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me? And now I'm pickin' her apart Like cuttin' her down make you miss my wretched heart But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies” Finishing the verse, you look out towards Nat and Wanda, where they’re smiling back at you, giving you the courage to finish.

“I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best, really Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on her I hope you're happy, but don't be happier”

Concluding the song, you look out in the crowd again, this time finding a familiar face, with bright blue eyes. You felt your face drop. Walking off the stage, you find yourself moving towards him.

“Bucky, you’re here”

“Yeah, Steve let it slip that this was happening, wanted to support you.” He replies, walking out of the venue.

You walk back into the venue and find Nat, Wanda, Steve and Vis.

“You did incredible, I am so proud of you for putting yourself out there.” Nat speaks loudly, trying to make sure you hear over the music. Wanda hugs you quickly before telling you she’s proud of you as well. Vis and Steve just smile at you, unsure of how to proceed when they literally just heard a song that was clearly directed at their friend. You all walk out of the venue.

“Why did you tell him, Steve?” You say softly.

“He asked me what I was doing tonight, and when I told him where I was going, he started questioning me a lot, so I just let it slip. I am sorry, I should’ve told him not to come.” He answers truthfully.

“It’s okay, I guess he was going to find out anyway.”

Bucky always thought you had an incredible voice, mainly hearing it while you were cleaning the apartment you once shared. Hearing it again made his heart melt. Until he registered the lyrics. Knowing how you truly felt about the breakup and how he handled things was like a punch to the gut. He was hoping that him causing arguments would bring out the sexual tension and then he’d be able to get you back but as he heard your voice cracking as you sung, he knew that he had lost the one thing in his life that made him the happiest he’s ever been.

Finding out your new co-worker was your ex-fiancé, was very weird. You had just started a new job as a professor at a small university. Rafael was always polite; you were in the same department, so it was a bit difficult to avoid him anyway. One day, you noticed a small band on his ring ringer.

“So you got married?”

“Yeah” he smiled, “Peter and I did over the weekend.”

“I am so happy for you, Raf, I know you wanted this for a long time”

“I am really sorry about how it all happened, I know I treated you badly and I should have- “

“You didn’t have to do anything, Raf, you weren’t ready to come out. It might’ve hurt a little, but you deserve to not hide who you are and be with someone who is the complete opposite of who you are attracted to.” You say, cutting him off.

“How are do you always see the best in people, even when they fuck you over?” He questions.

“Because I’ve seen the good and you can’t be defined by your mistakes. I have to go now though, Congratulations again.” You say, walking out of the shared office.

You had to talk to Bucky, clear the air, make sure everything was okay. First stopping by your apartment to drop off some papers and your laptop.

You found Bucky sitting at the steps, waiting for you, you assume.

“Hey, do you want to come up?” You say as he looks up at you. He follows you up. Opening your door, you lean against it to let him in, he walks in taking in your home for the first time.

“It’s definitely you.” He smiles.

“I spend a lot of time here, have to make it nice and comfortable.”

“I am so proud of you; I hope you know that. Your voice was incredible.”

“Thank you, Bucky, I really appreciate that.”

“Why didn’t you invite me?” He asks, sadly. You sigh.

“I was going to, then you started that stupid argument and it made me feel like I shouldn’t. I am glad that you came anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I just wanted you back and didn’t know how to get that across without arguing.”

“Bucky- “You start. He says your name cutting you off.

“I know now that it will not happen, and I am okay with that, I just want you in my life still.” He states. “You were right in that song by the way. She made me happy temporarily, but nobody will ever make me as happy as I was when I was with you.”

“I will always love you, Buck, I always have, and I think I always will. But us breaking up brought up some real problems in our relationship for me that I think I just overlooked because I was so in love with you.”

“I will always love you too.” You watch as a single tear comes out of his beautiful blue eye. You hug him, wrapping your arms around his waist and laying your head on his chest. He pulls you in closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head. You stay there for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Once he leaves, you dig through your wardrobe. You find all your books with your notes in them.

Going through all your papers with your songs on them and all your little thoughts you had written down throughout your breakup and as you were moving on, felt nostalgic. Remembering how you had felt about Bucky, how your emotions were so strong and how you would scrub your skin lighter, fearful that you might speed up the process of your body renewing and creating something that hadn’t been touched by him. You decide to burn them all. You want to remember the good in your relationship moving forward. You would forever love James Buchanan Barnes, but you loved yourself more.

He may not have been my soulmate but he’s the man I am going to tell my children about when they ask what love feels like.

[just-another-dreamerr]

37th Battalion (The Lucky Batch)

A little SAD “what if” scenario because my heart craves angst and I’m so sorry @lynnpaper you know i love you.

Don’t

“Don’t you dare die on me, Captain,” she said angrily, nose scrunched and eyes wet and desperate as she held him over her lap. Her hand was pressed against the wound on his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding; but blood, like every goddamn second, slipped between her fingers swiftly, unstoppable.

The clone’s quiet chuckle at her tone turned into a series of coughs, and his body shook in retaliation as he hacked up air and red liquid. Kehnla shushed him, urging him to save his stupid strength, and turned towards the nearest trooper.

“Where’s the medic?” Her voice was strained and tight as she looked at Foxy, her eyes deadly serious as they met his own.

His face was grave and dark, hand clenched on his blaster as he studied his brother’s fatal injury. “Pepper’s on his way, General, but there’s a lot of them in the way.”

She pressed her lips and watched Raffle's complexion grow paler and paler, his Force signature fading. "Hold on just a little longer, Raf, help is almost here.”

The Captain managed a pained smirk, and placed a hand on her own as she tried to keep him from bleeding out, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “It’s been an honor, General.”

“Don’t you say that,” she snapped, and oh how she wished she’d paid more attention to the healer's lesson back in the temple; how she wished that she could somehow make herself develop the Force healing skills that she’d never had the knack for.

The Jedi secretly lamented that Brisk wasn’t there, yet at the same time was so incredibly grateful her other Padawan was safe back with the rest of the battalion, away from the chaos and mayhem and pain they were trapped in. Raffle’s eyelids fluttered as exhaustion started to settle heavily on his muscles, and his vision slowly started to muddle at the edges with blurs of black.

"You can't die, Captain. That's an order," her voice was hard, imperative, and it was such an unusual thing to hear the humour and confidence vanish from her tone that the clone couldn't help but chuckle again, despite his lung's stinging protests.

He closed his eyes, half a smirk on his lips, and the stinging in his chest flared angrier. "Serious isn't a good look on you."

"Shut up and save your strength, di'kut."

His breathing had become slower, shallower, and the hand he had placed over hers reassuringly slackened and fell on the floor with a gentle tap. A soft breath left his lips, lost in the mess of emotions tangled in the air.

"Hey, hey, come on." She clenched her teeth, her throat tight and chest heavy as she held the trooper close. Her eyes stung and she saw Luna cover her mouth to stifle a sob, Rane's steadying hand on her shoulder as his lips pressed on a tight line.

No.

"I'm pulling rank here, Captain." The togruta's voice trembled as she shook his body gently, praying to every star in the galaxy that he'd open his eyes, but she knew. "Wake up, you stubborn trooper. Come on."

He was so impossibly quiet, and the beating of her heart suddenly became the only thing she could hear as she looked at his face, his signature slowly slipping from her grasp like mere wisps of smoke.

Wake up.

@lavenderstaars @mango-peachjuice @namesmox @lusiawonder @monako-jinn-stories @foxlock @cosmicghostie @oo-hazel-oo @generaltano @radbatch @letsunity @longearedowlfromouterspace @maygalodon

[beachedmessagebottles]

@ ur tags: good. ooooh you wanna consider them so baddd

dhdnntnrr this took forever but since it’s your birthday I speedran an idea. Happy birthday enjoy your SigRaf it’s totally not 12:30

Summary: Sig and Raffina are rather different, so it’s odd that they’ve suddenly been hanging out more, perhaps they’ll find out.

It was honestly apparent that Raffina cared too much and Sig cared too little. Not that Raf was extremely picky or anything, well, she was but not that picky and she’d make sure nobody forgot it, or that Sig didn’t care at all, it just seemed like they were at ends of a spectrum. Raffina was tough as nails, and Sig was perhaps as lax as one could get. They just seemed like completely different people in their friend group. (That could be said for a lot of their friend group, but it stuck out like a sore thumb between the two of them.)

So the two of them hanging out more and more simply didn’t make much sense. It felt fairly awkward at times, though not necessarily bad. Raf didn’t consider Sig a rival at all, they were skilled in whatever went inside their head honestly. If you asked her, she would’ve guessed bugs, but if she absolutely had to compliment the tenacity of the interest, they sure were interested in it. She had no care for it.

Yet, that was a ridiculous notion. Nothing in common at all, complete opposites. There had to be something making them hang out more! Ladies used their wits to solve complicated problems after all! Therefore, she’d solve this problem once and for all—

“Sure hang out more often.” Sig interrupted her thought process, making Raffina’s naturally rosy cheeks turn more rosy in both mixed frustration and embarrassment. Though her eyebrow raised at the mere mention. They were simply walking from school just a moment ago, with no real indication of starting such a conversation.

“Hm. I suppose you’re right. Do you wonder why?” Raffina asked, placing a hand on her hip.

“Not really.” Of course not, Raffina thought. She huffed a moment, shaking her head.

“Oh please, there’s got to be a reason or two.”

“Prolly.” A stunning conversation as always. It somewhat aggravated her to be the one who talked more than ever, but on the other hand she definitely got hints of headaches whenever her more excitable classmates had thoughts on their mind that they wanted to voice. She supposed that’s why she and Lidelle were rather friendly. A lightbulb going off in her mind.

“Well, you’re rather quiet.” Their bluntness was another topic.

“Guess so.”

“Though the other week I do remember you talked for what, ten minutes, about something or other?”

“Lightning bug.”

“Yes, that. Rather passionate.” She swore she could see a slight tinge on Sig’s cheeks, but she brushed it off. She didn’t wish to embarrass them, simply thinking out loud.

“You’re kinda too. ‘Bout yourself.” Sig added, scratching the back of their head.

Raffina scoffed, “That makes me sound completely narcissistic. I simply upkeep myself well, thank you very much.”

“Didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Sig shrugged, “Pretty is all.”

Forget her cheeks, she could feel her whole face become red, butterflies suddenly in her stomach, she blinked at how casually that was said. Her mouth became completely dry, lost on words. Sig’s eyes slightly looked away, though half-closed as always. Eventually Raffina forced a haughty laugh up her throat so the awkward silence wasn’t more awkward.

“Ohoho! Of course I am! Now, Puyo Battle! Fever!”

It was now Sig’s turn to be confused uttering out a confused ‘huh?’ as the game started. The confusing feelings still bubbled and bit at Raffina but for now she couldn’t find the right words. How does one counteract being called ‘pretty?’ to someone who didn’t mind being called whatever? She didn’t exactly know in that moment, so she supposed one of her other favorite compliments would have to do- Strong. And she knew well that Sig was particularly strong in Fever mode.

They had differences, but perhaps that was somewhat in it’s own right, a strength.

[plaidbooks]

Hii!!☺️ could i request Barba x reader, where raf is seriously injured and the reader takes care of him, and he is so moved that someone had never cared and loved him like that🥺🥺, please? 🤗 your writing is amazing i love it!! 🥰💕

Taking Care

A/N: Hey anon <3 This got...this is much longer than I expected it to be haha. I tried to not make Rafael too self-deprecating...if I do a part two though, then he may go full self-hating....

Tags: bullet wounds, mentions of needles/blood

Words: 3109

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @ben-c-group-therapy @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @dianilaws

You finished washing your hands quickly, hurrying out of the courthouse bathroom. You usually didn’t duck out during trials, but you didn’t know when the next recess would be, and you needed to excuse yourself. Besides, you had been there for the victims, and you had left during Rita Calhoun’s, the defense attorney’s, posturing; you didn’t need to be there for that. You had just made it back to the courtroom as Judge Ortiz was calling it for the night. Of course. You rolled your eyes; that was just your luck.

“Welcome back, Detective,” Rafael quipped, a sardonic smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

You shot him a playful glare. “I blame you; you’re the one that got me that large coffee during lunch.”

He really did smirk at you this time. “I did, didn’t I? I think that means you owe me a drink. Forlini’s?” You smiled back at him; you and Rafael were good friends, and you enjoyed his company…maybe a little too much. Not that you’d tell him that.

“Sounds good to me. Right this way, counselor—” you were cut off by a gunshot, ringing out in the courthouse. People screamed, ducking their heads. You reached for your gun, drawing and aiming at the defendant, who had somehow gotten the bailiff’s pistol, who was now aiming at you. But you were quicker, shooting him once in the chest. It wasn’t until you watched him hit the ground that you remembered he shot first. Eyes scanning the courtroom, you froze, hesitating for a moment when you saw Rafael on his back, blood seeping through his expensive suit at his left shoulder.

“Fuck,” you muttered, dropping to your knees by his head. You ripped your jacket off, pushing it to the wound. His eyes were wild, and he was gasping for air. If it wasn’t for all your years on the force, you’d probably be panicking as much as everyone else in the courthouse was. Hell, you were panicking, but on the surface, you were calm, professional.

“10-13, shots fired, officer down, send a bus to the courthouse now,” you ordered into your portable radio. You didn’t care if he wasn’t an officer; it was the quickest way to get an ambulance. You leaned over Rafael, trying to make eye contact with him. “Can you hear me, counselor?” you asked, keeping your voice level. “What’s your name? Can you tell me where you are?” His eyelids fluttered closed, and your hands started to shake. “Come on, talk to me…stay with me Rafael, do you hear me? Open…open your eyes…come on!”

You vaguely noticed people standing around you, hovering and looking down on you both. “Stand back, please. Give us some room,” you said, waving at them with a hand. They shuffled back, giving you some air. “Come on, Raf…stay with me, baby…you’re not going to die here, dammit,” you muttered. Where was that damn ambulance?

You swore your heart stopped when his chest did. Glancing up, you saw Rita standing and watching, eyes wide. “Rita, hold the jacket to his wound,” you ordered. She hesitated for only a moment before she was on the ground next to you, hands replacing yours. “Just hold it there.” Thank god you were certified in CPR; you pumped Rafael’s chest, stopping only to breathe into his mouth. You were dimly aware of how soft his lips were—you had wanted to know how his lips felt for so long, but this was not how you wanted to find out. You had to do this process twice more before Rafael was breathing again, and you sighed in relief. You took the jacket back from Rita, letting her rest back on her heels, in shock that one of her friends is in Death’s grasp.

Finally, the paramedics were pushing through the crowd. “He was shot with a 9mm and I had to perform CPR; he stopped breathing for maybe 10 seconds,” you reported as they loaded Rafael onto a stretcher. “I’m riding with him.” You turned back to Rita. “Call Olivia—let her know what happened and to meet me at the hospital.” It wasn’t until you got into the back of the ambulance, the sirens wailing, and saw Rafael with an oxygen mask on, medic’s frantically trying to keep him alive, that the tears started to fall.

 *******************

“He lost a lot of blood,” the doctor was telling you. “We called his mother; she has the same blood type. All we can do is hope she makes it in time.”

“Wait; I’m type O negative. Can’t I donate to him?” you asked, heart in your throat.

The doctor looked surprised. “Yes, of course. Let’s get you prepped.” You followed him to a secluded room. He ran a quick test, to confirm that you were indeed O negative, and then he placed a needle in the crook on your arm, ordering a nurse to bring you water.

By the time you were done donating blood and heading towards the waiting lobby again, albeit a little lightheaded, Olivia was there, along with the other SVU detectives…and Rafael’s mother, Lucia.

Lucia came to you, hands on your shoulders and shaking you slightly. “Where’s my Rafi? Is he okay?” The shaking made you feel dizzy, nauseous. Olivia must have seen the look on your face, because she gently pulled Lucia from you.

“He lost a lot of blood, Mrs. Barba. I gave him some of mine, but we should ask the doctor if it was enough, or if you need to give some, too,” you said, leading her back to the nurse who just helped with you. Lucia’s eyes had sparkled when she noticed the bandage around your arm.

 ********************

As it had turned out, just your donation was enough, and Rafael would make a full recovery. He was staying in the hospital for at least 48 hours before he’d be released. And during those 48 hours, you’d be fighting IAB about the shooting. You were only able to visit with Rafael once while he was in his hospital bed—he was just as snarky and sarcastic even with morphine pumping through his system. You had brought him a bouquet of flowers and a small assortment of expensive chocolates that you knew he liked. His mother had thanked you profusely for being in the courtroom when he was shot, for staying with him until he was taken to the hospital, and for donating blood when she wasn’t there.

“You…you donated blood?” Rafael asked, his ears slightly pink.

You smiled sheepishly. “Yeah…I’m O negative, universal donor and all that…guess that’s payback for the large coffee?” you joked.

He had a small, tight smile, a nod. “Sure…thank you.”

 ******************

You were finally cleared by IAB, but Olivia wasn’t letting you back to work yet, telling you to take some time off. The therapist that ran your psych evaluation had reported that you were still in shock from the shooting, that you were shoving all your feelings down instead of dealing with them. Olivia said that until you dealt with them, you were out. So, you found a therapist, started working through everything. And they suggested talking to Rafael, making sure he was alright. Because deep down, you blamed yourself for his injury.

Which is how you ended up on his doorstep, a container of your family’s minestrone soup in your hands, knocking on his door and waiting. You were greeted by Lucia Barba, who smiled brightly when she saw you.

“Oh! [Y/N], how are you?” she asked, beckoning you inside.

You moved past her, into the loft, sniffing appreciatively at whatever she was cooking. “I’m doing well, ma’am. How are you? And Rafael?”

“I’m going insane,” Rafael’s voice came from the couch in his living room, and his mother scoffed. He struggled to a sitting position, grimacing and grunting the whole time, and Lucia hurried over to help him.

“Rafi, stop being so damn stubborn,” she admonished, readjusting the pillow behind him.

He huffed out a soft “sorry, Mamí,” and you smiled. “But you really should be going back to your school; they’re missing you.”

“Nonsense; my little mijo was shot. I’m not leaving you alone,” Lucia said, kissing his forehead.

Rafael’s eyes darted around the loft, landing on you standing there awkwardly. “B-but I’m not alone! [Y/N] is here; I’ll be fine.”

She glanced at you, eyes narrowing in the way that mother’s who are being replaced do. You swallowed nervously. “Uh, y-yeah! I’m here to check up on Rafael…look, I brought soup!” You lifted the container of soup, and Lucia glared daggers at you.

“Fine, I’ll go. But you call me if you need anything,” and then she said a bunch of things in Spanish that sounded suspiciously like threats. You saw Rafael’s eyes widen, and he nodded, swallowing hard. You both sat there in awkward silence as she packed her things and left.

“Thank you,” Rafael finally said after she was gone.

You came to sit across from him, taking in his appearance. Despite the bruising still visible, peeking out from underneath the collar of his shirt, he looked well-rested. This was probably the most sleep he’d ever gotten

“Anytime. How’re you feeling?” you asked.

“Like I was shot,” he smirked.

“Well, I got news for you, Raf.”

Rafael gave you a playful glare. “Don’t be a smartass.”

You both chuckled until he winced, huffing in pain. “You okay? Anything I can do?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth, his head leaning back on the couch. When he caught you giving him a pointed look, Rafael sighed. “Fine; I have an ice pack in the freezer. Could you please bring it?”

You moved to his kitchen, pulling the freezer open and grabbing the ice pack. You wrapped it in a towel and came back to Rafael. He placed his hand over yours, guiding the ice pack to his shoulder, hissing at the cold.

You sat in silence, only moving again to put the ice pack back in the freezer after 20 minutes had passed. Finally, Rafael said, “you don’t have to stay here, you know. I only said that to assure my mother. I love her, but she was smothering me. I may have gotten shot, but I’m not dead yet.”

“Do you blame her, Raf? You were…it was bad. You were unconscious; you didn’t have to see your own body lying lifeless on the ground, blood everywhere—”

“Hey, hey…I’m okay though, aren’t I? I’m sitting right here, [Y/N],” he murmured.

You took a deep breath, controlling yourself. You realized that besides the witnesses in the courtroom, the IAB officers, and yourself, no one knew what happened in the courtroom—not even Olivia or SVU. He didn’t know that he did die…at least for a couple seconds. And like hell were you going to tell him.

“Yeah, you’re right, you’re fine. But I’m not gonna lie to your mom,” you said. “At least let me make dinner, wait until you go to sleep for the night.” Rafael looked like he was going to argue, but you raised your voice over him, “you couldn’t beat me in a fight before, Raf, and you definitely can’t now.”

He huffed, hunching his shoulders and sinking into the couch. “Fine.” He glared at you for a moment. “You said you brought soup, right?”

 ********************

You spent the rest of the day with Rafael, making sure to give him his space, but also taking care of him. You didn’t want to just be his mother 2.0, but you also didn’t want him to hurt himself. Mostly, you waited for the drugs to knock him out before you went about cleaning his kitchen, washing dishes, finding cleaning supplies and doing little jobs as he snored softly on his couch. You made sure you were on the opposite couch by the time he woke up, idly watching TV or scrolling your phone as if you were doing nothing. He always looked embarrassed when he awoke, saying that you didn’t need to babysit him, but you scoffed, telling him you had nothing better to do today anyways. Eventually, it was late, and you helped him off the couch and towards his bedroom.

“It’s a shoulder injury; I don’t need help walking,” Rafael huffed, making his way down the hallway.

You grinned following him. “True, but I want to make sure you end up in bed okay…do you—do you need help changing shirts?”

His face turned full red, making the heat rise in your cheeks. He was already in a button-down shirt; it was probably easier to put on than a regular shirt. “I, uh…if—if you don’t mind…I can’t sleep in shirts…I have a, um, sensitive throat, and I feel like I’m choking,” he mumbled, looking away from you.

“O-oh,” you said. “Here, let me help you, then.” You moved to stand in front of him, your fingers shaking slightly as you unbuttoned his shirt. You pulled his right sleeve off before moving to gently tug it off his left. The scar just below his collarbone was angry and puckered, such a stark contrast to the rest of his smooth, tan skin.

Rafael cleared his throat, and you tore your eyes from his chest to look at him, embarrassed that you were caught staring. “Thank you for today, Detective,” Rafael gave you a soft smile, turning and heading towards his bed.

Your eyes roamed over his broad back and you fought the urge to reach out and run your nails over his skin. Instead, you hovered over him, making sure he didn’t hurt himself as he settled down. “Good night, Raf,” you whispered down at him.

“Night, [Y/N],” he muttered back.

You meant to leave his loft, to go home. Really you did. But you couldn’t force yourself to leave Rafael all alone in his loft, not when the memory of him dying in your arms on the courtroom floor was still so fresh in your mind. Though, you also couldn’t stay in the same clothes, with no deodorant or toothpaste. So, you waited until he fell asleep before you reluctantly left his place, rushing home and filling a duffel bag with necessities, then hurrying back. You stuck your head into his room, smiling when you heard his soft snores.

 *******************

Waking up on a couch at Rafael’s loft was…disorientating at first. It took a moment for you to remember where you were before it hit you. After checking on the still-sleeping Rafael, you went about making coffee. Then, you looked in the fridge, seeing what you could make for breakfast. It seemed like his mom had premade a bunch of meals, so you’d just wait for him to wake up before heating anything up.

You heard a muffled groan come from the direction of Rafael’s room, and you hurried down the hallway. You knocked twice before entering. “Are you okay?” you asked.

Rafael was standing, his right arm through a shirt sleeve, and he was struggling to put on the other side. Though, when you came into his room, he jumped, cursing in Spanish before asking, “what the hell are you doing here?”

“Helping you,” you replied, moving behind him and pulling his shirt so that he could slip his left arm through the sleeve. You came in front of him, buttoning up his shirt carefully.

“You…you don’t have to—” Rafael started before you cut him off.

“Stop saying I don’t have to, Raf. I know I don’t have to,” you glanced up into his green eyes. “I want to. We…we’re friends, aren’t we? So, let me take care of you.”

You buttoned the last button over his chest, and his hands rested over yours, holding them there against his solid torso. His eyes bored into yours, and you swallowed nervously. “Friends don’t take care of each other, [Y/N]…not like this,” he muttered.

“Then you’ve had shitty friends, Raf,” you replied, your heart in your throat. His eyes seemed to stare right through you, see all your secrets.

“Tell me why…why do you care so much about me?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

You opened your mouth but was saved by the coffee maker beeping. Rafael’s eyes flitted to the door, and you took this time to turn from him, gesturing him to follow. “I made coffee, and I was going to heat up some of the food your mom made for breakfast.”

He had no choice but to follow you to the kitchen as you made him a coffee, insisting on doing the sugar and cream for him. “You didn’t answer me,” Rafael said, taking a sip of his coffee after you handed it to him.

Outside of the intimacy of his bedroom, it was easier to not tell him the truth…at least not the full truth. “Is it weird that I care about you, Raf? I…I care about Olivia, too. And the rest of the squad. I’d help any of you, especially after being shot and dying—”

“’Dying’? I didn’t die—” Rafael stopped talking when he saw the look on your face. “[Y/N]…is there something you need to tell me?”

You fidgeted with your coffee mug before saying in a low voice, “you stopped breathing in the courtroom, Raf. I…I performed CPR on you. I—there was a moment where I thought you might’ve—”

Rafael put a hand behind your neck, tugging you towards him as he kissed you gently, his lips just as soft as the first time you felt them. But this was so much better. You kissed him back, your hands threading in his hair, careful not to pull him too hard as you held him to you.

He gently pulled back from you, panting slightly. “I’m sorry, I’ve just…no one’s ever taken care of me before. And—and not only have you stayed here all night, but you’re the reason I’m even still alive.”

“Raf…” you murmured, cupping his cheek with your hand. Your heart strained for him. “I’m here for you. I’ll take care of you for as long as you need—”

“I can’t ask you to do that. You have a life to live, a job to do.”

You shook your head. “I’m on leave. I…the shooting affected me more than I thought. I’m free to help—”

“You should be helping yourself before you help me—”

“This is helping me, Raf. Trust me. Now let me take care of you, dammit,” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him gently.

“Mmm, how can I say no when you kiss me so sweet?” he replied, grinning.

[choicesenthusiast]

Ok, I took my time to process and research what the fuck happened here today and I’d love to share my thoughts.

First, I looked up the amount of personal LI diamond options on the Wiki, because the Wiki never lies. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Rafael didn’t get a proper diamond scene until the walk around the neighborhood, and in total only has 4, as compared to Jackie’s 9, Bryce’s 11, and Ethan’s 19. Yeah, you read that right. As of right now, Ethan has 19 personal diamond scenes, all ranging from diagnostics cases to mommy issues. Hell, even in the last chapter Ethan got a personal diamond scene while everyone else just got another group hangout.

Then, thanks to Tumblr’s fabulous archive function, I went back and read my old reviews from early OH2, to see if everything’s been at this level since the beginning (spoiler alert: it has) back when I still romanced Ethan. Poor, naïve, ignorant me chalked it all up to “He’s our boss, so we’ll see him more”. Eventually I got sick of seeing him and changed my LI around Ch. 6-7. But my defenses were much like the ones I’ve seen floating around recently. Then I went into the archives of other Ethan stans, mainly around the time of June when BLM was a hot topic, and right around the time the book went on hiatus. I, along with many others, didn’t forget how many of y’all told us to “stop complaining” or “just let the book unfold naturally, I’m sure you’ll get your time later”. There is overall more effort put into his route over everyone else’s (evident throughout literally the whole book). It may not be good effort, per se, but it’s still more effort than PB gave to everyone else. Something totally insignificant yet still irks me is how desperate some of you are to see his fucking dog (nothing wrong with that, just read the room), while others simply just want to see their LI on screen for longer than 2 seconds again.

Suffice to say, the other 3 LIs have been getting the back burner treatment since the beginning, so for some of you to be absolutely outraged that Ethan didn’t get a date and now his entire romance arc is ruined is so insensitive, ignorant, inconsiderate, and a lot more things that probably don’t start with the letter ‘I’. How oblivious do you have to be to not see that this is what it’s been like for the other LIs the whole time. For some of you to email and demand PB “give you the originals”, in which Rafael is killed all so you could have your precious date night is unfathomably inconsiderate. 

It’s not lost on anyone that Ethan is the most popular LI, perhaps on the whole app, considering every time I open the tag there’s a new fic or artwork or headcanon (no disrespect to creators, keep doing what you love), but my point is, you have more than enough content both in and out of canon, so claiming that making space for the other LIs “butchered” his route is so out of touch. Sure, he kinda got screwed over after the gala and the time jump, but everyone else was already screwed over since Ch. 1, and the rewrites did no wonders to everyone else’s route either, so don’t run to PB and play the special victim now that things haven’t gone your way. You can’t be the victim if this is how everyone else has been treated this whole time. Actually, we’re all just experiencing shitty writing at the hands of this corporation that doesn’t care unless it makes them look bad. Which, let’s be honest, they already do, so the bar is on the ground.

I cannot stress this enough, but this is a fuckin’ game??? Run by a company who doesn’t care if you spam their emails. When people say “we bullied PB into keeping Raf alive” it’s meant in the sense that we held them accountable for the racist implications (the people themselves may not have intended to be racist, but the actions and implications inherently were), and even then, they refuse to give him, Bryce, and Jackie the stories and screen time they deserve. In the end, they’re the only ones changing the story, and the only reason they did that was because of the backlash they received. Hold PB accountable for their patterns, not because your fav didn’t get a diamond scene one time. This entire book is a trainwreck and has been one since the beginning, so this “unfairness” doesn’t exist, if you want to be a child about this.

I know it’s not every Ethan stan (if you’re sensible then you get bragging rights), but god, the gall of some of you makes my brain rot a little faster every day.