#Relationship with/ground rules for fans

[heymeowmao]

2023.09.02 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324941623929995754

Long time no see~

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 (I Only Wish to Face the Light) [Be Your Own Light OST]

LYN: Long time no see, friends. Long time no see.

C: Are you better now? LYN: I’m much better. As a man, to get sick a little is normal. There’s nothing  to ask about. Thanks, everyone. LYN: My throat is still a little uncomfortable. It’s not as easy, but I still thought I would come to stream for a bit… because I brought all this equipment with me but I haven’t used it once. When we were packing up to leave I remembered that I brought my streaming equipment. If I don’t use it now I’ll feel like I’d have packed it up for nothing. I wrapped up a little early today and even though I’m not in the greatest condition I thought I’d stream. You can all be a little more understanding.

C: So you were in Chongqing. LYN: You must not be my fan. You’re one of the ones who pretends to care a lot about me. I’ve been in Chongqing for a long time already. It’s been more than half a month. C: You’ve gotten thinner. LYN: I don’t know about that. I probably just look a lot more weary/haggard. After I got sick I haven’t had an appetite, so I’ve been eating less and look haggard. I haven’t gotten thinner, though. LYN: I haven’t been in the greatest condition, but when I go back I don’t know when I’ll have the time to stream so today I wrapped up early and I feel good enough to chat, so I came. I didn’t come for a particular reason. Just to chat.  C: Remember to rest. LYN: It’s alright. I don’t have too many scenes for this drama and we’re not in a rush to film. I’ve been able to rest up for a couple of days here in Chongqing. It’s not extremely busy, so I’ve been able to take breaks in between.

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C: Your physical. LYN: I’ve done it already. I did it back in Beijing. All the results are pretty good. I don’t have any problems, so my physical is done. The only problem is that I might have a slight calcium deficiency (?). It’s fine though- I just have to supplement it. I guess that explains why I broke my foot- I have a calcium deficiency for my bones are more easily broken. I’ve got some health supplements and I’m ready to boost my calcium. Everything else is normal. C: Have you gotten taller? LYN: Funny that you mention it. I really did. They measured my height and I curiously found out that I’m taller than I was before! It might be that I keep trying to fix my posture, so my back is a bit straighter than it was before and it helped my height a tiny bit. C: Growth spurt? LYN: Probably not. Ning-ge’s already 30+ years old. I can’t be having any more growth spurts. It’s probably that my back’s straighter so my height grew. There’s nothing more to say about this. It’s not like I can lie. Before, as an actor, maybe if you were tall it would be hard to find roles, but times are changing. There’s a market for people like me who look like telephone poles, now. I’m not worried about not finding a role because I’m too tall. If you’re tall, when you shoot guzhuang dramas you can look a little more dazzling. There’s nothing to hide. LYN: I used to say I was 1.89m, right? In reality after measuring I was 188.5cm, so I liked to say I was 1.89m. After getting my physical this time I found that I’ve surpassed 1.9m. C: So tall. LYN: It’s no use, though. Telephone poles are also very tall- what’s the point of them? There’s no point to being tall. Tall isn’t useful. C: Exactly how tall- 1.9__?? LYN: What does that have to do with you? What does it matter how tall I am? As if I can share some height with you?? Why do you care? Are you a medical examiner? Or are you a tailor? You want to use my measurements to make a pair of pants or…??? What do you care how tall I am?! I already said I was 1.9. Why do you have to wonder whether it’s 1.91, 1.94, or 1.95? You’re like a tailor. Are you going to make clothes for me??

C: Ning-ge, if you boost your calcium maybe you can grow even taller. LYN: Don’t scare me!! I already have a hard time buying pants. I don’t need height, but it’d be nice if I can gain some bone density. C: I’m afraid you’ll grow to be 2m tall. LYN: Shush. I’m already 30+ years old, how can I still grow taller?? I’m not getting any taller, don’t hold your breath. If you tell your neighbors or friends that “I hope your kid grows tall” it would be a blessing, but if you tell me “I hope you grow taller” then it’s a curse. I don’t want to be too tall. It’s enough. I have enough to get by.

C: I hope my son can be as tall as you are. LYN: It’s possible. Kids nowadays are growing quite tall. None of them are very short anymore. It’s a different era, now. They’re well-fed. How balanced are their diets, now? There’s only the one at home, and they can eat all they want, so of course they will not be lacking in nutrition. Friends, you don’t need to worry about your child not growing tall. Unless you want your kid to be a celebrity. Then, they can be tall. Or a basketball player or model. But normally, they don’t need to be so tall. 

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LYN: I saw a comment the other day- because I went to the Eastern Billboard Awards, right? There are people who go to the event and then later come back and write about their experience. Whenever people go somewhere they have to come back and write up a report- what do they call it “repeat” or something. [t/n: REVIEW??] Anyway, they have to share their feelings about their experience. Their opinion of me? That my fans tend to be on the older side. That made me angry. (/joking) What do they mean by that?!? LYN: I guess a lot of my fans went by winning a lottery or blind box and being gifted tickets to attend. After going the only descriptor other people could think to give them is “on the older side.” What do you mean by that?? I just want to ask. LYN: My fans are… those who like LYN are all mature women. /laughs/ Isn’t that right? They’re all very mature. Whether by age or by mentality- they’re all mature. But I do have young ones! The other time in my stream didn’t you say that some of you were in your teens? I have younger fans, too. My fans are from a wide range. Sometimes I’m more biased towards the older ones because- I’ve said it many times before- they seen it all. Their children are already grown and they’ve seen what the world has to offer. To be able to still like me, after all that, means that I’m just a little outstanding. I can attract their attention. It’s not just a heat of the moment thing, for them.

LYN: Most of my fans all have children. Some of them are old enough to be attending college! They have school aged children, but are still my fans and I think that’s great. Now I want to say something to my fans who have children- try not to make your kids give me things, alright? I’m sure you’re not getting anything out of it, because you probably also tell your children, “Ning-jiujiu is outstanding. When you grow up you have to be as tall as he is.” and etc. I’m sure you must have told them about me before and so they are receptive to me. But still, try not to make them give me things. I’m not accepting any gifts. Let me tell you why-

LYN: You all came out to support me that one time, right? And I went out to see you. I don’t know who it was but one of my fans passed over a huge bag. They knew that I like to take some things with me when I walk by. So they prepared a big bag for me- it was really convenient. The first thing they did was hand that bag over, as if telling me “Ning-ge, go ahead and fill it up.” I could put all my spoils into it, because my fans like to give me cards or small toys. It has nothing to do with the cost. It’s just meaningful- they wanted to leave me with a souvenir. I was taking letters, cards, and headbands and stuffing them into the bag… and I was recorded doing it. Someone posted it online with the header, “LYN takes a tote bag to receive fan gifts.” Then the media got started on it- saying that I brought my own bag just so I can take your gifts. Amazing. LYN: First of all, I didnt want to become an artist just so that I could receive your small gifts and cards. Do you think I’m lacking that much?? But once someone’s pointed it out, it sounds really despicable. As if I can’t afford to make a living for myself so I have to rely on you to support me. That I survive off the things you give me. That’s a miserable existence, isn’t it? So from then on, I’ve been telling you that I don’t accept any gifts from my fans. This way it will be more difficult to hold something against me, you know? It will be harder for them to criticize me, not like it’s necessary to in the first place. I’ll only be accepting letters from now on. Whether I look at them or not is another story, but I will accept them.

LYN: I won’t be accepting gifts from you anymore- even if it’s very small and not worth anything. I won’t take it. It’s the thought that counts- you can keep it for me. If you have a kid, though, they might not understand this concept. They just know that “It would be nice if I can give Ning-jiujiu something.” So you prepare something that your child can give to me. In regards to gifts from children- I wouldn’t normally accept those, either. But the thing is I don’t want to see them disappointed. If they want to give me something and I tell them no, they’re going to be upset. What if it becomes some sort of trauma for them? You know? I know it’s not my kid, but it’s yours so you SHOULD feel bad for them. LYN: So, don’t make them do this. If your kid wants to give me something you have to advise them against it. Just tell them that I don’t need it. Tell them that Ning-jiujiu is a wealthy second-gen kid and that I don’t need it. Tell them that I have a job and I can buy things for myself, so when THEY grow up they have to get a job so they can buy themselves food and toys. Anyway, don’t let your kid give me anything. I really don’t have the heart to not accept. I know it’s just a very small thing- a toy- but when someone gets it on film that I’m accepting gifts- even from your kids- it become problematic. Try to empathize. Try to advise your kid not to give me anything- let them keep it.

C: Ning-ge, you’re a rich first gen, not a second gen. LYN: If I give all my money to my mom, then that’ll make me a rich second gen wouldn’t it? Makes sense, doesn’t it?

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LYN: Another thing is, I think my relationship with my fans is different. I feel like I’m… investing a different set of emotions in you. I’m not trying to be polite or anything. I’m just sure that there are very few people who can be like me- who treat my fans with a certain degree of attentiveness, or companionship. I feel like I’m close to my fans, and they respect me. I like this mutually respectful environment. But when you start disrespecting me, I feel really hurt by it. LYN: I feel like I give you a lot of respect and I’ve given you the most companionship that I could. But sometimes… when I see that some fans are out of line I get really disappointed, you know? I feel bad. Not angry, just bad. Just like how when antis try to bring me down- I would never be angry at them. Or when media talks shit about me- I don’t particularly care. But if it’s someone close to me who says the same things, I would find it difficult to bear. 

LYN: I’ve been filming recently in Chongqing, right? Many of you come out to the set to… watch a monkey (see me). I’m the monkey- the other actors aren’t. Every day I’m filming in Chongqing I feel more and more like a performer monkey. You’re just surrounding me- as if watching a monkey in a cage. It’s not like I’m out there to shop. I’m there to act, and there are just people all around, watching a show. Sometimes you even give me a little something to eat. It’s not that I’m annoyed by it- that’s your freedom to do what you want. In this society you can go wherever and do whatever, as long as you are abiding by the law. I don’t have the energy to care about your personal freedom- you can go where you want, *as long as it doesn’t affect me or the film crew. That’s the most important thing. You can watch from afar, but don’t record it on your phone. Everywhere I go, you’re following me with your phones. I don’t even know what you’re trying to do, here. LYN: I had even asked you, the last time. I don’t want to interrupt your quest to see your idol. You can come out to see me, and that’s fine. But why do you insist on recording it on your phone?? Do you want to become viral? You want to learn from me how to be internet famous? Are you going to post it on your weibo and wait until you gain enough fans before you start influencer marketing? After you have enough traffic, are you planning on accepting advertising gigs, or…?? I just don’t get it. Why do you have to record me? If you come to see me I can nod my head at you, smile at you, and even exchange a few words. But the moment you lift up that phone I’m not going to say a word to you. I had told you all before. When you’re trying to greet me, don’t record me on your phone. I feel like you’re trying to interview me. LYN: That day there was someone like this, “Welcome to Chongqing, Ning-ge. Welcome to Chongqing. I want to ask you- have you eaten Chongqing hotpot yet?” I felt as if they were a native blogger or something. They were here to promote Chongqing’s culinary delicacies and they came to interview me, to get the thoughts of an actor who came to Chongqing to film. It makes me really uncomfortable. If you could put your phone down and ask me the same questions, I would have told you that “Yes, I did eat.” and what I ate, and what I thought about it. I would chat with you. But as soon as you pick up your phone I feel like there’s a distance between us and I don’t want to say anything to you. LYN: The people on set, too. You’ll find that as long as you’re not brandishing your phones at me, I won’t open the umbrella (to block your sight). I can’t NOT let you see, but if you take photos/videos of me while I am working on the drama and then go post that media online and it affects the drama itself- that’s on me. You can come to see me. As long as you’re not brandishing your phone, I won’t try to reject you. You just have to record- I don’t know why.

LYN: I also posted to the group chat- if you’re on set, please don’t record. All of you agreed. But the next day? You were recording as normal. I saw with my own eyes- someone lift up their phone to start recording. OK. If you’re not going to listen to me, then it doesn’t matter. When I got off work that day, that person even greeted me! “Ning-ge, you worked hard. Ning-ge! Hey-” As if you’re very close to me?? You don’t even listen to me. LYN: I already told you, that you can’t be recording me while I’m filming this drama. There’s a reason for that, but I can’t tell you the details of why. I just can’t have the drama be affected because of me, but you are still stubborn enough not to understand what I’m trying to say. I can’t tell you flat out, either. I’ve told you not to record me, but you still do it. Let’s not drag passersby into the picture- there’s nothing I can do about them. But MY FANS- If even if I tell you, you still don’t listen then there’s no point. LYN: To my other friends- if you’re not in Chongqing, don’t come here to attack those fans that are here. There’s no need. They acting normal, and I can understand, but I just want to say-

C: Are they paparazzi? LYN: If they were, I could just tell the security to tell them to stop. But I know that you are my fans, so it’s not like I could tell them to help me get MY FANS under control for me. Do you think I could do that? I don’t know- I haven’t filmed very many modern dramas so I haven’t encountered this situation much before. This time, since I’m facing the situation now I want to say: If I’m shooting a modern drama you can come to watch but please don’t record. You can keep me company or watch for fun. Don’t make trouble for me, please. Thanks. I’m not the only actor in this group. The other actors are under a lot of pressure already and are too kind to say anything about it to me. I’m sure that they would find it embarrassing on my behalf to tell me how to manage my fans. But as LYN- as an actor- do you think I’m not aware of the situation?? Just because they don’t say anything doesn’t mean that I can let it continue. LYN: YOU’RE happy recording on your phones, but have you ever thought of how awkward it is for ME? It’s so embarrassing. Whenever I get to the crew in the morning someone always asks me, “Hey, are those your fans? There are so many.” … How am I supposed to answer that? Am I supposed to say, “Yes, I’m very popular! I’m amazing!” How do I answer, you tell me. I just say, “Those aren’t my fans. They’re probably just passersby.” LYN: I can’t control your how you chose to spend your time but please don’t affect the drama crew. I’m not angry! I just haven’t encountered this situation before, so I want to get it straight now. I hope that in the future my fans can supervise each other. If you all come together I hope that someone can say, “Let’s not record Ning-ge. Let’s not affect the drama crew.” We can play amongst ourselves but once it starts to influence other people, we’ve got to stop. I can’t wave or greet you when I’m on set because I don’t want the other actors to think I’m trying to show off that I have a lot of fans. Everyone is there to work but it looks like I am there to socialize and have a mini fan-meet?? Do you get it? This is a working environment- I’m WORKING. I can’t be friendy with you because if iit gets recorded and posted it will look like I am encouraging you to come to set and see me. I can’t afford that. Do you understand? The crew isn’t made up of only me. Everyone else is famous in their own right. Just because they’re not mentioning it to me doesn’t mean that I’m not aware of what’s being perceived. Try to understand my hardship. 

LYN: You have to consider other people’s feelings. I care. I could disregard my own feelings, but not other people’s. After working with them for a while, I start to care about every person I work with. I cherish the opportunity to be able to work with them. I’ve got to leave a good impression, right? My main thing is having a good reputation, isn’t it?

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LYN: I do have to thank you for your support when I had collaborations with Pomellato and L’Oreal, though. Thank you. When it was first announced that I has a collaboration with Pomellato- it really proved that some of you have mines at home (they’re wealthy). We really do have some “jiejie-s” among my fans. We never avoid this subject. I already told you last time- when you come to my concert, bring the deed to your house. Because I also invite different brand representatives to attend, so if they that all my fans have their deeds with them, they would know that you can afford to buy their products. Then the collaborations will come rolling in, wouldn’t they? Some of you are... well off. LYN: At the time I saw that you were posting your receipts and everything- those things aren’t cheap. From my… position.. to have so many fans support me and spend so much, I am really thankful. I posted in the group chat to thank you, too. But many of you are students and probably can’t afford it- we’re all the same. But the ones who could afford to supported me a lot- I posted in the group chat. “Thank you for your support. Thank you to all the wealthy women. You sure have money.” I just wanted to express my thanks. I was over here trying to THANK YOU, and someone took a screenshot and posted it so I received another round of criticism. LYN: Someone had sent it to me, “Ning-ge, look. Another yxh posted about it- that you’re thanking your wealthy fans in the group chat.” I was thinking- I can’t even do that?!? My fans are supporting my collaborations and are buying some products, and I want to thank them, but I can’t even do that?? Would the value drop, or what? I don’t understand. Should I NOT have thanked them? I don’t understand why I would be criticized for such a thing.LYN: Let’s say for example I see one of my fans by a product from a brand I’ve collaborated with. They tell me, “Ning-ge, I bought it!” Am I supposed to say, “Oh. Suit yourself.”?? Should I have had that sort of attitude? If someone tells me they bought something from a collab I did, shouldn’t I be thanking them for their support? One, it represents that fan’s love for me and two, I should thank them on behalf of the brand. I just don’t get it! When they told me I was being criticized for thanking my fans I just found it really funny. LYN: Any artist or actor- anything they do falls under the “customer service” category. We’re here to serve the viewers and our fans. Without all of you, what would we be? Do you really consider that we’re people who can survive on talent alone? This is too funny. We work in customer service.

C: Ning-ge, if you’re a waiter, then let me give you some tips. LYN: No, I don’t need any. XD You’re trying to give me tips now?? It would have been great if I had met you back when I was singing in the bar. LYN: Some people are laughing. Don’t laugh. I think that people who want to give tips are really great. Why? Maybe because I came from that industry- honestly if you want to survive in customer service, you can’t do it on your base pay alone. You have to rely on tips- so that you can make a little more money. From then on, I’ve always thought that people who give tips are great. C: I’ll give you 50. // How’s 1,000? LYN: No, no. I don’t need it, really. You can keep it. C: I’ll give you coupons. LYN: Do you give coupons as a tip?? Is there some hotpot place where if you spend 300, they give you 30 in coupons? Then you give it back to a waiter and tell them you’ll treat them to hotpot? That’s too awful, isn’t it? Later we find out that you have stock in the hotpot place. You were actually out there promoting, but making it look like you were giving tips.

C: I’ll give you a discount coupon to LYN’s concert. LYN: I said once before, that anyone who helped me to get a trending topic can get a 5RMB coupon to apply to my concert ticket. Now you want to give that coupon back to me?? First of all, it’s free for ME to watch LYN’s concert. Even if you gave it to me I would have no use for it. I can go for free. AND I can stand on the stage to watch it. XD My seats are better than yours. C: Your seat is the best. LYN: Yeah, I can watch from the middle of the stage.

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C: Ning-ge, have you been playing with the beads lately? LYN: I have. C: Do you put oil on them? LYN: I can’t believe you’re asking me about this! C: How’s it going though? LYN: The more you play with them, the more into it you get. It’s a pit. The more into it you get, the deeper you go. I’m playing with baixiangzi, which are different from the [names different types]. They’re different because each seed shape is not the same (whereas the other types are set shapes). Some are “lotus shaped”, or “ghost faced”, or deeply pitted, and etc. It’s a lot more complicated. Once you buy one strand you’ll want to buy others to see what they look like. And then… you just keep buying other ones and end up with too many. LYN: I don’t advise you to start… I just don’t. There are funner things to do. With me, I bought them online but then when I got them in hand I didn’t like them anymore and gave them away. To everyone around me- my acting coach, hair and makeup team, assistant, and everyone else in my group. Now they all have one strand each. When we go out to work everyone in the car- other than the driver- all have gloves on and are brushing the beads. Our team is so healthy, now. We’re a team of Bead Counters. There’s just no helping it- I bought it but after I received it I didn’t like it anymore so I gave it away, and repeat. By now I’ve already sent a bunch out. I don’t have anyone to give them to anymore. Another thing- this was a while ago because I’ve bought enough- let’s say if you can count on one strand for three years, I have enough to last me until I’m 80. I have too many, a huge bag with so many different types. 

LYN: I was watching a stream- the owner sells these things- and saw something funny. This was before I stopped, because I like to look for nice ones to buy. But I was in the stream and found someone trying to buy them. [...] I saw this user’s name and it was “LYN’s ____”. ? I’m guessing this “LYN” means “Liu Yuning”, right? Is this one of my fans, seeing that I’m starting to play with these things and wanting to buy one for themselves? But it just so happened that I was also in that stream! So I asked them, “Hello, hello! What does “LYN” mean?” They ignored me! It’s not like I could say that /I/ am LYN. But I kept asking and they just kepy ignoring me. It’s not like there were that many people in the stream, either. So then I switched tactics and started using code: “LYN… is it Jiang-ge?” Jiang Junhao (BYOL). After a bit they replied, “Yes. It’s Jiang-ge.” Oh before that, after asking them multiple times who LYN was they replied. “LYN is a very important person.” Then I asked them if it was Jiang-ge and they said, “LYN is Jiang-ge.” I was thinking,”Oh. This IS my fan.” So I was just quietly watching them throughout the stream and in the end they picked a strand that they liked. I direct messaged the seller and told them to return the user’s money, and that I would pay the bill for their order. The store owner was confused. I told them, “It’s ok. This “LYN” person is my friend. Please return their money and I will pay. You just need to send it to their address.” The shop owner said, “OK, da-ge.” What that means is Ning-ge bought you a strand of beads. You have to remember that. LYN: But then later the shop owner got back to me about another part of the order, and at that point I excused myself from the chat. The strands are cheap, but the accessories are expensive. I excused myself- I think it was about enough. LYN: It was just a fateful encounter with a fan, was all. I saw that they were buying something they liked and wanted to help out. This is normal, for a Northeasterner’s personality. For example if we go to a restaurant and see that a friend is already eating there, it’s either they will pay my bill or I will pay theirs. I don’t know about other places but in Dongbei that’s what we do. I just have a strange little habit of liking to pay other people’s bills. It just so happened we were shopping in the same stream that day. I saw a friend, so I paid their bill. C: Shandong people are like this too!

LYN: Yeah- places with a lot of loyalty are probably all like this. It’s a normal thing. I didn’t think anything of it, and it’s been a while since it happened. I never mentioned it before because I just thought it was funny, but since we were on the topic I decided to tell you. I’m just afraid that this person would remember which stream it was and then post about it.

LYN: I’ve already stopped buying them, I have enough. I don’t want to show you- it’s a really big bag. In any case, it’s fun to play with when I’ve got free time and it’s stress-relieving. Sometimes at night when I’ve wrapped for the day I like to play with them when I am remembering my next lines. When you play with these beads you won’t even find yourself reaching for your phone anymore. Let’s say usually in the car or something you’ll swipe through videos or play a game. Since I’ve started, I don’t play on my phone anymore. I’m just brushing and counting them. It makes you stop playing on your phone, which is nice. It also helps you to still your mind and relieve stress, which is also nice. C: “wan-wu-shang-zhi” (when you start to play with object, it will hurt your intelligence) [??] LYN: Yes, right. But I also think that as long as you’re not going overboard it’s fine. As long as it can still help you relieve stress and unhappiness, then it doesn’t count as “wan-wu-shang-zhi”. C: Raffle them off. LYN: I won’t because some of them were quite expensive… Maybe later, if there’s a chance I’ll raffle them. On my birthday I’ll give one away. One that costs 150RMB.

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C: Where’s Daimi? LYN: She’s waiting for me in Hengdian. I need to film for a while in Chongqing, but this hotel does not allow pets. It’s a little troublesome if I go through the trouble of bringing her here but not be able to house her. She’s in Hengdian. We’re just about to move over there, too. So she’ll show up then.

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C: Pie in the sky +1 LYN: Wha- how could giving away a strand of beads count?! Oh my gosh… What “pie” is this? I have plenty of beads to go around. 

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C: I miss Daimi. LYN: Okay, then when I get back I’ll let you see her. /distracted/ LYN: I’m looking at the tv- there’s a burger on screen and I really want to eat it… Sichuan spicy, CP burger. Mouth-watering chicken flavored. … It looks pretty good.

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LYN: I saw that some people were making fun of my brand collabs? Well it’s not considered “making fun of”... they were just commenting. Regarding collabs... I can’t say I’m not like other artists, just that I am the same as myself. (?) I have a good mentality I don’t really like accepting brand deals. That’s the truth. Because I don’t like shooting the ads. So I only accept the ones that I can. I don’t like to do very many per year. Another thing is- let’s say that this year I have signed with a shampoo brand. When that contract expires in a year and a different brand of shampoo comes to ask for me, I won’t accept their contract. I think this is being responsible towards my fans and towards the brand I previously worked with. I don’t accept just anything. I’m not saying this for the public to hear; this is for my fans to hear. Don’t assume that I am at such a low that I can’t get any brand deals. That’s unlikely. C: Professional. LYN: It isn’t being professional, either. I just feel like it’s not a right thing to do. There are many ways to make money, but you have to have morals. I won’t enter into a similar contract right after one has ended. Maybe I’ll wait a year in between, but not directly one after another. That’s not a good look, I feel. LYN: As an artist, when you sign a brand deal all your fans will go furiously support that brand. After they’ve bought from one brand, you want to sign with another and make them buy more products from the new brand, too? What- what are you trying to do here?? I don’t want to do that to you. I would find something different to collab with- something you can use, something practical. You all know which brands I’ve worked with. I would never sign with something you’ve never heard of.

LYN: There are some things- I just want to share. You all know I really like cars, right? There have been some car brands that have looked for me to collab with. I have not accepted. Why? Because I look down on the brands? No. I like cars too much, I can’t sign a deal with any one brand. Everyone already knows the car I like the most is Ferrari. I’ve already set that as my dream carl, so if you want me to also sign a contract with a different brand I don’t think I would be able to take it. It would make it seem like my dream car changed. No, that’s not right. C: Ning-ge, did Ferrari come find you? LYN: Of course not! Why would they? Who am I??

LYN: Anyways, I just have these strange sort of ways of thinking. I want to tell my fans- if you think that I am not signing enough brand deals- that’s not the case. If I WANTED to I could have a lot more, but I don’t want to so that’s why I have so little. Another thing is I know that I’m not popular enough. I’m not popular enough yet, but there are only so many different brands. I was thinking I would wait until I get a little more popular and THEN sign contracts with these brands- that would increase my value, wouldn’t it? Do you get that logic? If I were in a rush to make money and sign with every brand that comes now but then later get even MORE popular- no one would want to work with me, because they already have. Let’s develop some more before I start signing deals, and that way I could make a better profit. XD

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LYN: It’s been a while since I came to chat with you, and I was planning to chat and talk nonsense and mess with you a little bit. It’s very relaxing, and it’s been a while since I’ve come to chat. Even if I feel a little worse for wear today, I still wanted to come. :) C: Lao-da, what are you doing tomorrow? LYN: What’s it to you? Why do I have to tell you what I’m doing tomorrow? You’re overreaching.

C: Is recording for the album all finished? LYN: It’s finished. Rather- all the songs I have until now are finished. I’m still lacking four songs. Four songs. /sigh/ It’s maddening. I’m still looking for songs. The first half are all done and in production, but I’m still missing four. I have to see how I’ll handle that. Since I’m in a crew now I’m focusing on my acting, but I’m still looking for songs. C: Wasn’t it three? LYN: It was three, but then after some consideration I kicked Fall in Love off the album. It was supposed to be the first song on the album, but after that track it was hard to find other songs. Now it’s been so long since Fall in Love was released; it’s been two years. If I kept it in my album as was planned I don’t think it would be interesting. LYN: It’s still a very nice song, so that’s why it was released as a single. I just can’t put it in the new album because it’s been too long already. I can’t explain it away anymore.

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LYN: I’ve been working on my new drama- it seems that a lot of people, my fans especially, have lots to say about my appearance. As if you’re very disappointed in my look. I saw your comments and was really sad. Because the thing is, first of all, trying out this hairstyle is already putting a lot of pressure on me. You’ve all seen the short hair by now- there are reuters everwhere. Short hair requires high demand from your five features and face shape. Secondly, your condition when filming is very important. As an actor, there’s no way that your condition is going to be the exact same every day. Some days you might be tired and you look swollen the next day. Or if you stay up too late at night, your eye sockets look really deep. It differs, but your condition is really critical for how you look on film. If you have longer hair, you can use the bangs or ends to cover up the face a little bit, but with short hair that’s not possible. So I was already apprehensive when taking on this short-hair challenge. [t/n: nooo he’s cute. Look at this bts vid: https://weibo.com/1856222553/Ngo7kE49Z ]

LYN: After some ugly photos of the look were released online after the first day of shooting my fans were already having a breakdown. So much so that they starting cursing. Cursing out the drama crew and the production company. You’re making me look bad! I’m a very strong person, but in the face of suh a big challenge I had a lot of pressure myself. Add to that my fans, starting to cause trouble? I was thinking, “These people must be crazy.” You’re making me look bad, but I also understand- you just… don’t get it. LYN: You don’t understand the process for the drama crew. With all of my guzhuang dramas and my more modern ones- you didn’t really have awareness before, because frankly back then I was just in supporting roles. Your demands of me weren’t as high, then. You were probably thinking it was nice that I got to shoot dramas at all. You didn’t care about my hair or wardrobe- it wasn’t important as long as I was in the drama. But after I started getting lead roles, you started to get spoiled. You started making demands of my hair and wardrobe. It’s gotten to your heads. I didn’t drift, but you’ve started to!

LYN: If you think about it, when I was playing all those supporting roles I didn’t hear any of you comment on my hair or nitpick on what could be changed. You never did, before. Did you really think I looked very good in those roles? I don’t think so- there were also ugly ones. There were a bunch of times LMX was looking ugly. So… you’ve also drifted. I’m not trying to teach you a lesson or brainwash you- but I don’t have an agency. I only have my studio, and my team consists of the same small group of people. Every post you see my studio account make- is made after all of us discuss what should be posted. I am the boss. We don’t have different groups for management, finance, and promotion. It’s all the same small group doing all of this. When you’re cursing out my studio, it’s no different from cursing at me. I don’t want you to learn the bad habits from this industry, which is that fans like to yell at the studio, the hair/makeup group, the crew, the production, etc. It’s a bad practice and you shouldn’t do this. Don’t think that by yelling at these groups you’ll make it seem as if you know what you’re doingl. That’s not the case. Me, LYN Studio, and fans of LYN are all a big family. Let’s not play these underhanded tricks, okay? Let’s learn some good things. Don’t just take away the bad things.

C: They’re all getting paid but not producing good work. LYN: What if I told you that my studio doesn’t get paid, how would you reply to me then? It’s not about getting paid or not. Some things are not achieved just by simply opening or closing your mouth. I understand your passion and good intent but there is one thing that I am confident in. That is: there are experts to do expert things. Do you understand? For example, if I go to some event to sing- the venue is full of technicians. You’ll see a lot of performers on stage: [/starts describing a situation where he attends an event and the performer has high demands (down to the decibel) of the sound system]. I understand that they have high-demands and admire them for it. But I don’t understand as much as those singers, so that’s why I bring a technician with me. Why? Because they’ve been at this job for 20+ years, so they would know a lot better than me, a singer of just 4-5 years. They could be 40 years old this year, and have spent the last thirty years doing this exact thing. What have you been doing? Going on variety shows, shooting ads, etc. Do you think you’re more professional than these experts? Hire experts to do expert things. There’s no way someone outside of the industry would be more professional than they are. Do you get this logic?

LYN: This applies to the fans, as well. When you tell me my acting or singing needs work, do you think I don’t know that?? You don’t need to think about the reasoning why- all you know is that it looks bad. You don’t understand WHY it looks that way. Do you think I don’t know? You understand acting better than I do?? I mean, it’s possible that you do. But do you get what I’m trying to say? The things you see- we’ve already seen, but there’s a reason why it is the way it is. I know the fans mean well when they start being critical, but they just don’t understand the reasoning. You don’t need to worry. When you encounter this problem in the future, too. Don’t worry. I would know if it’s a problem better than you would. We just don’t fix it because the problem is 1) part of the process or 2) has a reason. LYN: When I bring a technician to an event, I’m not picky. I leave it up to them how they want to adjust the sound settings. However they feel is the most comfortable. At the most I will ask them to turn down the volume of my mic input, and set the accompaniment to something I am comfortable hearing. Everything else is up to them to decide and it’s all set. Leave it to the pros.

LYN: I started getting angrier as I talked about it. Why didn’t you care this much about my appearance when I was doing support roles?? You should have said something a long time ago! Then at least I wouldn’t have looked so ugly in my past dramas. XD /laughs at himself/ How can I blame others for that? C: Then, we should have “drifted” earlier. LYN: No, that’s not what I mean. Don’t think of things in such extremes, ok?

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-- break #1

C: I could already recite these videos. LYN: Then recite them for me! Why don’t I believe you? If you remember it, then prove it. C: What are you eating? LYN: A lozenge.

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LYN: I noticed something- in the recent year- there really has been a batch of new fans. I always thought- /setting up bgm/ I always thought that I hadn’t gained a new fan in a long time. I thought that was normal, because I don’t have very many new works to show you. But what I didn’t know was that there are a lot of you who came in silence to support me, and you all came in the past year or so. LYN: /burps/ Oh? Why did my throat make that sound? Sorry, sorry. /drinks some water/ /burps again/ LYN: The mood’s broken. :p

LYN: Anyway- I always thought that I didn’t gain any fans in the past year, because I really don’t have anything to show. The most recent thing was ALZ and BYOL, but before that I didn’t really have anything. But then I discovered that I actually did gain fans! I didn’t find out through my weibo statistics; I found out in a very obvious way. The new batch of fans are calling me “lao gong” (husband). I’ve already taught my old fans better. My fans aren’t allowed to call me “lao gong”- it seems too shallow. It makes our relationship shallow. First, what are you calling me husband for when you already have your own?? [t/n: since most fans are older and already married.] Secondly, you’re going to have a boyfriend at some point in your life. It’s not good to call me “husband”, then. I’m not worth it and you really don’t need to. Don’t call me that. LYN: Let’s not be like everyone else- because they like to call their idols “husband” too. Let’s not do the same. What are you thinking?? We’re just friends, okay? Recently there have been a lot of people calling me “husband” and I know immediately that they’re new fans. My old fans already know the rules and they know how to act with propriety. So friends, fam, my brothers and sisters, propriety is very important.

LYN: It’s the same old. If you’re older than me you can call me ‘Xiao Ning’ and if you’re younger you can call me ‘Ning-ge’ or ‘Liu Yuning’. It all works. Just don’t call me “lao gong”. Thanks. I just really think it’s (calling him “husband”)… in poor taste/vulgar/inelegant. Thank you. C: I’ll call you “baobao” (baby). LYN: /retches/ C: I like being vulgar. LYN: Shut up! / Guards!! Drag them away! // How dare you! C: Can we call you “Lao Liu”? LYN: Yes, you can. Call me whatever. “Lao Liu” is ok.

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C: Do you have a music variety? LYN: Nope. I can’t remember- I was on a variety show last year, right? I didn’t sign with any this year. … Was I not on any variety show last year? Was I on one…? I really can’t remember. Did I have one last year? // Oh, The Truth was last year! I thought it was the year before last. In that case, I didn’t sign with any for this year. I’ll probably pick one up, then. My plan is to have one or two varieties a year, and 3 or four dramas.

C: Can I call you “son”? LYN: I don’t know if you have any ill-intent, or if you just think you’re funny. LYN: You can. /threatening/ Come find me tomorrow and call me “son”. Say it to my face. Give it a try. You can. Come on. Come call me “son” to my face.

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C: Can you sing “Rang Jiu”? LYN: I won’t sing tonight, because my throat is uncomfortable. I got sick, so I won’t be singing. LYN: But I am always scrolling through comments and videos, and I saw something funny. Someone said, “Hey, let me tell you something interesting. I recently became a fan of LYN…” I always see these videos, and this one had that special effect where they just have the eyes and mouth. They were saying how they recently started liking LYN and started talking about their experience. At the start its like this- hold, on. Let me imitate it for you- /laughs/ I see a lot of videos like this.

--: I don’t know why but lately I found myself liking LYN. I didn’t pay him much attention before, almost to the point where I was an anti. I first heard about him because of the fact that he was singing online, and I was thinking to myself, “What’s so special about that?” Then he got so popular for no reason, and why does he have so many fans? I keep thinking that he has someone company backing him up. Anyway, I didn’t really have a good impression of him. But then later, I was watching a drama- Tomb of the Sea- and there’s a song in it I really like! It’s called “Rang Jiu.” I really like this song, but at the time I didn’t know that LYN sang it. I often listened to the song, but I didn’t know who LYN was. --: Then, suddenly, I was watching Ultimate Note and I found myself really liking the actor who played Hei Xiazi. I thought he acted really well. The attitude was on point. I didn’t know the actor before, but I found him really cute. Even though he’s not like the source material at all, I still thought he did a good job and started liking him. I didn’t know it was LYN. A long time had passed and I got the feeling I stopped hearing about him, and the only things I could find online were really trivial. I still didn’t pay him much attention. --: But I was scrolling through videos and stopped on a clip of the drama he acted in with Tao-jie. I thought, “Oh? His acting came across naturally.” So from that clip I started watching BYOL. I never watch these types of dramas, but somehow I found myself finishing it. After I finished I started to get the feeling that LYN was a pretty interesting person. When I’m scrolling through videos sometimes I find clips from his livestreams and he’s pretty funny. Once you start watching his videos, they’re all that’s recommended to you. Whenever I watch those recommendations I think they’re funny. Somehow I started to think well of him. The more I learned about him, the more I felt for him. --: He really made it this far, step by step, and it wasn’t easy. When you don’t understand someone you’re bound to have some bias and prejudice against them. Of course, you wouldn’t want to understand someone you don’t like, anyway. But I wanted to say- for LYN- as long as you start to get to know him, there’s nothing not to like. I can’t say there’s NOTHING, but at the very least you won’t hate him. I want to advise people online not to buy into the media or easily believe things heard from someone else. What we see and hear may not be the truth. You have to make an effort to understand it yourself. Sometimes how you interpret it may not be the truth, either. But anyway, this is how I started liking LYN. It’s mysterious. I started off as an anti and didn’t have a good impression of him, but lately I’m SO into him. --: He’s really cool and it wasn’t easy for him to get this far. Sometimes when I’m online I see bad posts about him- like the leaked photos or images that make him look bad. But then when he streams he chats about it so casually and in a funny way, to make us laugh about it. One day- I saw that filming started for his new drama and people were posting bad things about it- on the first day! In that moment I didn’t think it was funny anymore. You’ll start to feel sorry for him. He’s just really (mentally) strong. He’s able to compartmentalize everything. As fans, I know that we don’t need to worry for him, but in that moment you start to realize that he’s actually just as human as the rest of us. He’s probably not as strong as we all think he is. Anyway, I hope that people can stop using what they see/hear online as a means of understanding someone. Honestly, it’s probably not at all true. That’s how I started liking LYN, and that’s what I wanted to share.

LYN: Now I’m starting to suspect if that video was something I posted myself! I think I imitated it too well!! When you’re scrolling online and come across a video with special effects that explains someone’s process of liking LYN, it could be that LYN posted the video himself. /cackles/

bgm: 就在江湖之上 (Above the Jianghu) [Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST]

C: It’s almost exactly the same. // How could you remember it so well? LYN: If it’s a compliment about me, of course I would remember. If it’s about someone else, I probably wouldn’t be able to think of things to comment on. Since this is about myself, it all comes naturally when I open my mouth. C: Did you watch it many times over? LYN: You don’t need to watch these things too many times. I could remember it all with one watch through. This is what you call... talent. LYN: First of all, as an actor I think you have to have some natural talent for imitation. I can’t imitate anything else- like some classes will have you imitate animals. I can’t do that. The thing I am best at is imitating my fans. When I imitiate their gaze and their small habits, I can do it well! Exactly the same. I can even pretend to be one of LYN’s fans! C: Again! LYN: You haven’t seen enough? You even want an encore? I’m amazed.

C: Act it out for me. LYN: I won’t be. I pretty much gave you the gyst of all these videos with the one I just did. Only that the special effect was a lemon with the eyes and mouth, is all. That was pretty fun. I think everyone’s fans like to use that specific effect to talk about things. I don’t know if it’s an industry rule or something?? I’ve seen a lot of videos where someone stopped being a fan of their idol, and they use that effect to get rid of all their fandom stuff and vent. XD They also use that effect. I don’t know if it’s a potato or lemon, but they all use that effect. LYN: Is it used to stay unnamed/unknown? C: Watermelon. LYN: Yes, there’s the watermelon one, too. LYN: Is it to stay unknown? There are a lot of different effects you could use, like the one I just did. But they all seem to use that same one. I don’t know why. LYN: /puts on a different filter/ This works too, doesn’t it? Look at how big the eyes are. /playing around/ Wink! Oh, it can’t wink? C: You even know “wink”? LYN: /laughs/ What do you mean?? Is “wink” a very difficult English word to remember?

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C: Have you eaten Chongqing Xiao Mian? LYN: Everywhere I go, why does it seem like you ask me whether I’ve eaten the local specialty or not?? I just want to say- our country is very well developed. In Beijing you can eat the local specialties from all countries and regions. Do you think Beijing doesn’t have Chongqing noodles? Can you not find hotpot in Xi’an? There’s no way- it’s everywhere.

C: It’s not authentic. LYN: What do you mean “authentic”?? I always see people talking about how Chongqing hotpot is authentic, but I also see them selling the hotpot base. I went to eat hotpot the other day and there was a stall in front selling the soup base. If I bought that home, wouldn’t it be equally authentic? LYN: I get what you’re trying to say. But if Chongqing hotpot is packages and ready for purchase- why can’t I buy it and take it back to Dandong to eat? Then you tell me whether or not I’d be eating local, authentic Chongqing hotpot in Dandong or not. Isn’t it all the same?

C: The pot is different. LYN: I’ll just buy the same pot!! I’ll buy a pot home, does that work for you?

C: It’s still different. LYN: If you’re going to say that then you’re messing with their business. How can you say that? For example, if I were a Chongqing hotpot shop owner and I sold my base in my shop, would you stand in front of my shop and tell people that buying the base to eat at home makes it not taste “authentic”? You’re going to tell people that buying it home is different from eating it in store, and not to buy it?? Now, you tell me if the owner would give you a beating or not. Is that something a person would do??? C: It really is different. LYN: Then by your standards, all the hotpot bases in the country should stop being sold. You’re influencing a whole industry, I’m telling you now.

C: The atmosphere is different. LYN: If I buy a pot, Chongqing hotpot base, then make a room in my house LOOK like somewhere you would eat Chongqing hotpot, would it be okay then?? Would it still be different? I’ll remodel my house to look like a Chongqing hotpot shop. Buy one of the pots home. The electric stoves are all the same. Use their hotpot base. Tell me how it’s still different.

C: The water is different. LYN: I’ll take two pails of water home.

C: The land is different. LYN: I’ll dig 2kg of Chongqing dirt to bring home and spread it across my floor.

C: The air is different. LYN: /laughs/ What the heck are you saying. The air is different…

C: No waiters. LYN: Is the point of eating Chongqing hotpot to be waited on? The critical part of having Chongqing hotpot is the waiters, is that what you’re telling me? No way. But it doesn’t matter, because /I/ was a waiter. I just told you, too. Whether actor, singer, or artist, we’re all in the business of customer service.

LYN: In any case, we’re getting into semantics, but it wouldn’t really make much of a difference. It’s different from before. Now our transportation and shipping speeds is very developed. It’s not as difficult to get something you want to eat, from somewhere specific, as it was before. Delivery services are so much more convenient- what can’t you get nowadays? Don’t get too caught up in the details. C: It really is different though… LYN: Ok, fine then. If you say it is, then it is.

C: No Chongqing dialect. LYN: I’ll speak it myself! // I’ll play a song in the Chongqing dialect! -- 朝天门 by GAI LYN: I’ll listen to this song while eating hotpot, is that okay with you?? I’ll eat some then say [t/n: something in the Chongqing dialect, which I can’t understand. Maybe “So spicy!”?]. I’ll pretend I’m in Chongqing. Is that not authentic enough? // Fine, I won’t fight on this with you anymore. X’D

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C: Ning-ge, have you been to Hongya Cave? LYN: Is that the popular destination? Is it called Honga Cave? I’ve forgotten. It’s said that if you go there at night- the lights turn on at 8p and it looks nice. It looks like a scene from [//]. LYN: I went out to eat one night and crossed by a bridge. There were a lot of stalls on it, so I thought it would be nice if I could shop around. I saw there were stalls, but also there were people just standing on the bridge. What were they looking at? The bridge was really high up. Chongqing is a mysterious place. The bridge - the walkways are all high up. Almost as high as a building. I was wondering what they were all looking at, just standing onthe bridge?? But then my makeup artist told me that they were waiting for Hongya Cave to turn on the lights. That when the lights are on it’s really pretty and looks like something from a fairytale. So I looked it up on the internet and saw some pictures- it was very pretty, yes. In any case, I saved myself time waiting in line (to see it in person). XD I didn’t want to get up on that crowded bridge, so I just looked it up and saw it online.

LYN: It was pretty. I think Chongqing is a beautiful place, and I really like it here. The food’s good- very spicy. The shop owners always try to advise you, “You won’t be able to eat this. Don’t take it lightly. Don’t order this dish. You won’t be able to take it.” It’s all very spicy. But if I eat it every day, I think it would be too much. Because their specialty is heavy on oil and heavy on spice; but after you eat it you’ll feel so good. Still, I don’t think I could eat it every day. C: Can you eat spicy? LYN: I do ok. Even though I’m from Northeast China, I can still eat spicy foods. My tolerance is good. I dont have any big issue with it. There’s no problem.

C: Suzhou food is really good. LYN: I don’t know, but if I get the chance I want to try. I’ll get there eventually. I was in Xi’an for a while, and there I ate- was it Xi’an? My brain’s not working… Did I go to Xi’an? What did I do there? … Oh, Chunzhen! I was saying, I think I went but I couldn’t remember what for! I didn’t go there to film any drama… Oh, it was Chunzhen. I remember now. LYN: I went to Xi’an and ate, and I thought it was really good. The great thing was that I went to a few restaurants, and maybe the places I went to had less people around, but the aunties in the restaurants were really welcoming. Not “welcoming” in a “customer service” kind of way but sincerely welcoming. They would tell me that one dish is really delicious, or not to order too much because I won’t finish it all. You can feel that they’re very sincere. They’re very down to earth people, and the portion sizes are big! I thought the people there are really great. Real, sincere, and kind. It wasn’t only the one restaurant, either. It was every one I went to. It was nice. // I had fun.

C: Chongqing is really nice too. LYN: I didn’t really get out much in Chongqing. The most I’ve interacted with in Chongqing was my fans from here. /stares into the camera for a second/ Fans from Chongqing. I saw them every day. C: The personality is different in each region. LYN: I don’t know about that, but I had fun nonetheless. I ate a lot of delicious foods. Everywhere I go I’ll eat something delicious.

C: When are you coming to Guangxi? LYN: Guangxi… when I have the chance. LYN: In the early days when I was working, there was a senior who was from Guangxi. Sometimes when he spoke none of us understood him. He was a really funny guy, though. So I’m.. full of curiosity for Guangxi.

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LYN: It’s about time. It’s 10:54p. When I stop streaming I have to grab something to eat; I haven’t eaten yet. I’ll just stream until 11p. I just came here to chat, anyway. Let’s see how long I’ve been streaming for; I don’t think it’s been very long. 2 hours. It’s a decent time, not too short. So, friends- there are many of you who still have not subscribed to my weibo. If you haven’t, please do so. Thank you. Thanks for keeping me company tonight. After I return to Hengdian my schedule would be considerably more stable, but I will have a lot more scenes to do there. But since I consider it my home now, I’ll feel a lot more at ease and that way I can stream more often if I have the time. My equipment will be better there, too.

LYN: I hope I get better soon, but I think I still have a few more days of recovery to go. It’s not a big problem, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m already this old, and I am strong and healthy! It’s no big problem. I’ll be better in a few more days. 

C: /asks him about something specific/ LYN: I didn’t come here to get into any particular topics. I just came to chat. I have to watch what I say, because I don’t want to let anyone get something over me. I went to the Eastern Billboard and said I wanted to release my album before holding my concert, and somehow someone took that to mean that I was trying to subtly bring someone else down. It’s strange. Apparently everything I say is a subtle diss on someone else. As if I have the time to care about what other people are doing?? So in that case, I’ll just try to say less. LYN: I don’t have the time nor mental capacity to care about other people. I have my own work to take care of, and strings of beads to play with. I don’t have time to pay attention to other people’s problems or understand how they live their life. 

LYN: I hope you had a relaxing, happy and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight everybody. -/starts imitating that fan video again/

[cyberm4n]

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 2!

(i tagged people who commented asking for part 2 but lmk if you want to be untagged)

pt1, pt3

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix

cw: explicit smut, not thoroughly proofread, lucifer has a daddy kink, still in a hinge type relationship, hints to radioapple if you squint

other: i wrote part of this while very high so if there's a random perspective change just know i was cooking so hard with writing that i forgot to write in 2nd person pov

■ let's be honest neither of them are particularly interested in the other halfs involvement in this equation

■ but it's incredibly hard to deny that they work well together with you in the bedroom

■ when they want to, of course.

■ so there's a silent agreement between them that they usually put their beef aside cause like. they have you atleast.

■ i think alastor would still want to be close though, so most often your head is laid in his lap or he's touching you somehow

■ but there is a VERY strict line of sight he follows because depending on what exactly is going on this position makes it far too easy for the two men to just be staring at each other and that is 100% a no go for them

■ which i mean, fair enough

■ lucifer does tend to get a little possessive on the rare occasion alastor decides he wants to participate a little

"oh sweetheart, daddy is making you feel so good, right?" he would coo at you as he bullies his cock into you again.

alastor, tilting your head back with his hand, claws scraping at the soft skin of your neck. a good portion of your upper body is laid out on him, his other hand pinning your arm down.

"eyes on me, darling" he'd say, only for lucifer to give a particularly rough thrust, trying to get your attention back.

the main ground rule you had set is that they were not allowed to bicker with each other during intimate moments, so after a whine escapes your throat the two set it aside. for now.

■ i feel like alastor is strictly a dom, especially considering most of the time he's not really physically participating

■ lucifer id say is more of a service top. he wants you to feel good and he wants to know how good you feel.

■ i think he'd bottom if you really wanted him too but like only if he gets to make you feel good yk

■ alastor does particularly enjoy watching lcuifer go down on you, seeing you writhe in pleasure and moan so sweetly is like music to his ears.

■ he'd love to broadcast this

■ there is sometimes alastor takes a complete backseat though

■ maybe he's not in the mood or just wanting a different angle

■ so that's how you ended up riding lucifer while alastor gleefully watches from a chair beside the bed

"s'ok princess, you can do it" lucifer would say, hands on your hips as he guides you down on his cock. you squirm and whimper as he stretches you open.

with his guidance you start gently grinding your hips down, and lucifer lulls his head back, sweet praises falling out of his mouth.

"fuck.. that's it. ride daddy's cock. you're such a good girl" he'd moan as he rubs your clit. it's not long before he gets impatient though, wanting to hear more moans coming out of his pretty girl, hands returning to your hips as he bucks into you.

"you like it when he watches?" lucifer practically growls, hips thrusting up harder now. "cmon baby, talk to me" he'd gently tut, slowing down to such a painfully slow pace.

you're practically reduced to nothing, giving a weak moan, both of their smiles growing wider. "such a good duckling, letting daddy get his fill. gonna fill you up princess" lucifer says as he pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, another thing lucifer loved to do.

■ alastor has never been a fan of the more personalized petnames lucifer calls you

■ "duckling" "ducky" "doll"

■ but he has some of his own

you're on your knees in alastors radio tower, the very rare occasion lucifer just isnt feeling up to it. he's never been a big fan of receiving head, and he's just not feeling it today, comfortably sat in a chair.

alastor on the other hand, his hands are wound tight into your hair as you suck him off. "oh my sweet doe, so desperate to please" alastor would purr, feeling your tongue swirl around his cock.

"i understand why you... indulge so often. our little pet is such a people pleaser, isn't she?" he'd chime to lucifer, who doesn't respond, not really atleast.

■ but aftercare

■ oh aftercare from these two is amazing

■ the only time they firmly agree with each other and leave everything else behind is during after care.

■ it doesn't matter which of them you want or what you want they're gonna make it happen

■ if you want both of them that's great! and they definitely won't get mildy possessive of you at all!!

■ lucifer is definitely a big cuddler

■ and i feel like alastor would be about praise and affirmations, especially after playing "bad cop" the whole time.

■ not that he minds that, mind you.

"darling you were amazing, im so proud of you" he'd say in a much gentler tone, stroking your hair as you lay on lucifers chest, whos pressing soft kisses across your face.

lucifers hands trace soft circles on your back as they both murmur affections to you, and when you finally slump your forehead to lucifers shoulder, they both breathe out a smile.

if he's feeling particularly charitable, lucifer will nod to alastor to take you, to cuddle with you. most of the time alastor declines respectfully, still not really prone to expose himself to touch.

but on the rare occasion he takes the offer, switching places as he cuddles into you, lucifer cracks a little smile.

they really do make a good team, don't they?

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

[pers1st]

dancing with the devil - alexia putellas x reader

pairing: alexia x singer!reader

warnings: mentions of drugs and alcohol

Meeting Alexia hadn't been an accident. If anything, meeting anyone, for you, was an accident, because more often than not, people were screaming into your face, demanding pictures and autographs and spinning theories about your private life that you were pretty sure could be considered conspiracies.

You hadn't intended, however, to meet Alexia. And she hadn't intended to meet you. The first time you'd seen the Catalonian woman had been on Keira's instagram. Your lifelong best friend and childhood neighbor was the only reason you were interested in women's football - or sports in general. You'd never shared your father's passion, or joined the local team like your brother had. If it wasn't for Keira, you would have no ties to the sport whatsoever, and even this way, you grew annoyed every time the strawberry blonde and her insufferably confident girlfriend tried to explain the offside rules to you.

Still, you followed Keira's life everywhere she went, and although you hadn't been happy with her move to Barcelona, you had forgiven her the minute you'd spotted the Catalonian woman on the sidelines.

Keira had warned you, but really, she should've warned Alexia. You enjoyed the lifestyle that came with being a singer, relished in parties and one-night-stands and rebounds that Keira doomed forbidden. More often than not, she'd threatened to hang up on your FaceTime call when you'd phoned her from London to tell her about your latest hookup. But Keira, as different as the two of you were, was still your best friend, and so she listened to every word you said, or sung, and was your number one supporter. This wasn't missed by her new teammates, who started following your socials the second Keira had first shared the promo picture of your new album. That's when Alexia had followed you. Keira should've warned her then, but a few years down the line, you were glad she hadn't. Because what was supposed to be a bed for you to spend a night in when you next visited Keira and Lucy in Barcelona blossomed into your second home, and the woman who was supposed to be yet another hookup blossomed into your girlfriend.

You had spent the past year somewhere between London, New York and Barcelona, desperate to spend time with Alexia, Leah and your producers all at the same time. The fans had quickly taken notice of your and Alexia's relationship, although, to be honest, not one of you had tried to hide anything. Alexia was easy, Alexia was simple, and most importantly, Alexia was safe. She was the one to ground you whenever you struggled with your mental health, whenever you were overwhelmed with pressure, anxiety, or any emotion alike.

But a few months ago, with Alexia's return to the pitch, the World Cup and the crippling pressure to perform, at all time, that grasped your every cell, things had taken a turn for the worst.

You were on tour, and had witnessed the public abuse of Alexia and her teammates via FaceTime and instagram, trying your hardest to console the captain as best as you could from so many miles away. It hadn't been an easy task, and with the everlasting rehearsals, concerts and afterparties, you had neglected to take care of yourself.

Drinking was easy when you had the excuse of missing your girlfriend. Using was easy when you had the excuse of just living a little.

Nothing was easy now, as you stood in your girlfriend's flat in Barcelona, the woman halting across from you.

"I'm... home", she breathed, taking in her surroundings. There was no way to hide the bags packed behind you, the way you were still wearing your shoes despite the fact that Alexia had taken so much time to drill the habit of taking them off at the doorstep, the way you seemed to be ready to leave when you had just come home.

"What is going on?", she asked, dropping her bag with a soft thud. Alexia had expected you on the couch, with a mug of tea in your hands, in her sweatpants and fluffy socks, just the way you liked during the colder months. She had expected you to be nuzzled under a blanket, perhaps napping as she knew the jet lag robbed you of energy whenever you took the plane from the States to Spain.

"I'm leaving", you breathed, staring into her face blankly. You tried to remember. Tried to take in every dimple, every freckle, the color of her eyes and the baby hairs that were flying off her hairline. If you could have, you would have taken a picture. You had so many pictures of Alexia in your phone, ranging from ones to her sleeping, from her at training, from her during matches, from her at dates you took her on or standing in the crowd of your concerts. They were never going to be enough - realistically, you knew that. But, realistically, you could never forget Alexia either, no matter how much time you would spend away from her.

Alexia looked confused. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she opened her mouth and closed it again. Her lips looked like she had been picking them, the way she always did when she was stressed, but you wanted to kiss them anyways.

Her feet guided her into the kitchen, walking straight past you as she inspected the apartment. She noticed your favorite mug - one that she had given you for Christmas last year - wasn't where it usually stood next to her favorite mug. Why would you take your mug? You never took your mug when you went away from her, to concerts or recording sessions or award galas.

If she looked any closer, she might've noticed the broken handle of it laying next to the trash can. The dish had been sent to the floor when you had frantically grabbed at it, desperate to leave the flat before your girlfriend came home, and shattered into a million peace. Each one of it was tucked in a plastic bag in your suitcase, but you had forgotten the handle. Alexia didn't notice. Her eyes were back on you.

"What are you talking about?", she asked. In that moment, you were grateful more than ever that Alexia had taken the longer route to grab your favorite sushi from the one restaurant on the other side of the town, the only one you liked, because it had given you enough time to pack everything before she came home. You had almost been out the door - you had put your shoes and coat on already, leaving your favorite scarf, the pink one that she liked to wear, in the hallway.

"I'm so sorry." Your voice was barely above a whisper, and you had to tear your eyes away from her, down to your dirty sneakers, when you felt your lips wobble. If you took another glance at Alexia, you would cry.

The handle of your suitcase was cold as you gripped it tightly, bending down to pick up the bag still on the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Alexia."

It wasn't just another statement one said during a breakup without any meaning. You truly meant it. You truly were sorry. In the past months, both yours and Alexia's life had spiraled completely, and although you had been there for her as best as you could have, and lost yourself in the process. The shell of a person that was left of you was nowhere close to what Alexia deserved. You weren't sorry for leaving her, you were sorry for the person you had become, and you were sorry you couldn't be the person for Alexia anymore. You couldn't be her loving girlfriend anymore, the one that loved her endlessly, that made her laugh, that took her worries away with soft kisses and whispered nothings. You couldn't be the person to make her happy anymore. If Alexia took a closer look at you, maybe she would notice your blown pupils, the redrimmed eyes of yours, the bags beneath them. Maybe she would notice the amount of weight you lost, the leftovers of white powder beneath your nose, maybe she would've noticed how broken you were.

You didn't give her the chance, instead tearing your gaze away from her and shuffling towards the door with soft steps, desperate not to ruin her hardwood floor with the crunch of broken glass and splashes of alcohol on your dirty shoes.

You heard Alexia cry behind you, heard her pleas for you to stay, heard her questions, her yells, but you were out of the flat quicker than she could've pulled you back. The air of Barcelona hit you colder than it had before, and a part of you wished you would've worn the pink scarf, knowing it would've kept you warm and smelled of Alexia's perfume.

The black SUV was still parked right next to her driveway the way you had instructed Lois, your driver, to wait. He didn't ask a single question as you slammed the bags into the backseat, following in shortly after, tears streaming down your face. You needed to leave. You were doing the right thing. Alexia would realize it, at one point.

17th December, 2023:

Breaking news: British singer Y/N Y/L/N's summer tour cancelled after drug overdose.

notes:

there goes my first oneshot! please let me know what you think and also if you want a pt2 bc i have so much more in mind about thus story :)

[doki-doki-imagines]

What if Earthrealm also had an empress who rules everything, and our mk1 boys, Liu Kang, Raiden, Kung Lao and the Lin Kuei brothers had a secret relationship with her, I just imagine her in those huge Cinderella dresses.

Liu Kang: -The best at hiding his feelings. Amazing at restraining himself from any form of pda. -A big fan of your clothes, so different from his ones, but so soft to the touch. Even if they may get a bit in the way during more intimate moments… -When he has to kneel in front of you, it's hard to keep a smirk to himself, a knowing look shared between you two.

Raiden: -He isn't big on pda. The main issue with him is that his face shines every time Raiden looks at you. -His eyes have that cospicious twinkle , the only advantage may be that others may confuse your mutual love for a one-sided crush Raiden has. -He isn't really astonished by your dresses, Raiden probably won't even look at them, too busy admiring your face. -The one that kneels and kisses your hand to greet you, his lips linger always a bit too long.

Kung Lao: -He bagged an Empress. How can he keep it secret?! -At the end, Raiden will find out. After all, a man that can't keep his pee for sure can't keep a secret. Luckily, Raiden would rather die than reveal his friend secret so you are safe for now. -Love your clothes, and Lao would like to try matching outfits! -Half because he basks in the thought of being a future Emperor, half because he'd love to marry you and be happy and free with you.

Bi-Han: -Nobody will notice any difference. -He is cold, doesn't let any emotion show, and will make the official meeting as short as possible. -As beautiful as your clothes are, he'd prefer if you wore official Lin Kuei ones. -Even when you'll meet in the secrecy of your room, Bi-Han will never admit that your clothes suit you well. He prefers them on the ground anyway.

Kuai Liang: -Another one really good at not showing any emotion in official meetings. -BUT Liang makes little signs with his fingers that you only can understand. A secret code between lovers, you both find it romantic. -He'd love to see you with Lin Kuei's clothing, but the one you wear now suits you really nicely. -Liang became pretty skilled at untying the strings of your dresses. At times, you won't reach your room in time, not that you mind…

Tomas Vrbada: -Everyone think he has a one-sided crush for you, his face tells too much. -When Tomas kneels and kisses your hand, he looks at you with liquid lust in his eyes, and you feel your knees tremble every time. -He admits that your clothes bring him sadness. Those were the kind so loved by his sister, so every time, he is reminded of her. -Don't worry Tomas will gladly lend you his ones! He also has to admit they suit you, better than any dress.

[seeingivy]

family rules (alternate version)

satoru gojo x f!reader 

in which you’re the one who gets in the accident this time, not satoru and megumi 

**read the other ones here 

content warning: car accident, mentions of glass and blood, reader in pain satoru says daddy, megumi wants you to break satoru’s neck

an: for all my very lovely family rules fans, this is the part for the request I received here. I hope you all enjoy :D 

-

Satoru pushes his key into the door, swinging the door open as he calls out to the three of you. He’s balancing the pink box in his hands, very excited to see your very irritated face when you open it. 

He stops for a second, eyeing the light purple around Megumi’s eye as you push green peas into his face, before turning to the fridge to steal your leftovers from last night. 

He can feel you opening the box out of his peripheral vision, preparing his silly little consolation piece to calm you down. He knows you’ll be irritated, obviously, but he’s always sweet talked his way out of situations, especially with you. He just wanted to ease the air after the lecture you were probably going to give Megumi, settle everyone down. 

“Megs, do you mind joining Miki upstairs? I need to talk to Gojo over here.” you say, watching you press a very strained smile to your face. 

Maybe the cake was too far. He should have settled for balloons instead. 

“You have got to be kidding me, Satoru. You bought him a cake for punching another kid in the face?” 

“It’s just a joke, my love. No harm done. I’ll talk to him about it later. You know, all that cheesy stuff you say - words before violence, be the bigger man by walking away.” he leans over, pressing a kiss to your cheek, before he sets out to set the plates for dinner. 

“Satoru. Be serious for one minute. Megumi is our responsibility. You’re doing him a disservice if we keep letting him process his anger this way. Don’t lead him down the wrong path.” 

He can feel the stinging in his chest, the anger developing in his chest. He would be lying by saying things were perfect between the two of you, as of late. The two of you were polar opposites, something he always considered as a strength to your relationship. When he was drifting away too far, you grounded him in reality. When you were too stuck in the little things, he always reminded you of the big picture. You worked - moon and sun, salt and pepper, black and white. However, the two of you had been finding it harder to find compromises lately, arguing more lately, especially when it came to Megumi. 

It’s a few fights, not mass murdering people. If anything, Megumi’s doing very well, considering who his father is and what happened. He’s doing very well, considering the fact that he’s being raised by two twenty year olds. Satoru’s doing very well, considering the fact that he’s trying his best to be there for him. 

“I’m not leading him anywhere wrong. You’re setting him up for failure if you keep letting kids push him around like that. You’re the one leading him down the wrong path.” 

“Solving your problems with fists isn’t always the right answer, Satoru. This is why he doesn’t talk to us when we ask him what’s wrong. We just have to wait for him to explode, just to find out he was suffering the entire time.” 

He feels your words sink into his chest, burning him in a place he hadn’t been before. No. Surely you couldn’t be insinuating what he thought you were. You wouldn’t. 

He thinks back to the third grade, his parents' faces engraved in his mind. He learned all too quickly that punching another kid in the face, pulling a girl's pigtails, running out of class would get their attention - faster than asking them to tuck him into bed, eat breakfast with him, or come to a school play. They would drop everything, run to his side to see him at the first sign of trouble. There’s no way you’re insinuating Megumi is doing the same. 

It kills him. Even the thought of it being right. Megumi’s mimicking him, when he was younger, acting out to get someone to look at him. The two of you tried your best with him, he was always a little more closed off, but you were doing everything you could. 

No. No. Satoru Gojo was not his father. You had to be wrong. You had to be wrong because if you were right, he was no better than his father. 

“Whatever problem he has, I’ll deal with it. Remember, he’s my kid, not yours. My responsibility. So I’ll figure out what’s best for him moving forward.” 

He comes to realize that this was his first mistake, one he’ll come to regret in a few hours. 

He can feel the words hanging in the air, waiting for your anger filled response. But it doesn’t come. You compare him to his father and then have nothing to say?

“All quiet now, Y/N? Have nothing to say to me?” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“And why’s that? You sure had a lot to say a few minutes ago.” 

“Because. He’s your kid. Not mine. It’s not really my business what he does, is it?” 

He feels his heart sink in his chest, his cheeks burning with regret already. Why did he say that? You didn’t mean it like that. There’s no way you would ever compare him to his dad, in earnest. He curls his fingers around your wrist, pulling you closer to him. Kiss it better, Satoru.

“Hey, hey. Wait a minute.” 

You shrug him off, swiping the keys off the counter and running out the door. This is his second mistake - letting you run out that door - and surely the one he’ll regret even more. 

He stands there in shock, your absence chilling him. What the hell is he doing? The table is half set, your sweet strawberry smell absent, your glimmering smile gone from the kitchen. 

You left. You actually got up and left. It’s his fault. He hit it where he knew where it hurt. He can feel his heart sinking in his chest, the stinging vertebrates through his bones. Why did he say that to you? He loves you. He reaches around for his phone after a few seconds, his fingers shaking as he texts you. 

i’m sorry love

you know i didn’t mean it

just come back. you know he’s our kid. 

i know you’re right. he shouldn’t be punching people every time he disagrees with them. i just have trouble being too hard on him, i don’t want to be like my parents

not an excuse. i know i’m in the wrong. we can have the talk with him, just like you wanted. just come back y/n. 

Satoru nearly drops his phone into the sink, at the sight of Megumi pushing into his legs. He presses his arms around Satoru’s legs, hiding his face against in the fabric. 

“Hey Megs. You okay?” 

“Did Y/N leave?” 

He leans down, intending to talk Megumi down. You were always better at it, but there’s no harm in trying. 

He looks over, really observing the bruise on Megumi’s eye for the first time. His eye is swollen, coloring into a dark purple. There’s a tiny bit of pink in the whites of his eyes and he doesn’t miss Megumi keeping his eyes closed, squinting whenever he makes contact with the light. 

He reaches down, pressing the green peas you were pushing into Megumi’s face, back to the spot. He didn’t realize Megumi was hurt this bad. 

“Yeah. We just had a little argument. She’ll come back.” 

He feels Megumi clench his fist, his hand crumpling the fabric of his slacks. 

“Do you think she hates me?” 

“Megumi. Y/N loves you. She’s mad at me for being stupid, not at you for fighting.” 

He feels another set of tiny hands, this time resting on his arms. Tsumiki’s tear filled face is at his side. He’s messed up. 

It’s in this moment, Megumi’s stressed out expression and Tsumiki’s tear stained face, that he realizes how small they really are. He’d been teaching Megumi how to master his cursed technique and he was always impressed with how self-sufficient Tsumiki was, but he never realized how wrong it was until now. 

They were kids. They’re small, tiny little kids acting like adults. He leans down, pressing the two of them against his chest. He won’t let them burden it - that’s what you and him were for. You, when you were still here anyways. 

He reaches for his phone again, shooting you another text. 

kids are getting real upset with you gone, they miss you already 

“Satoru.��� 

“Yes, Miss Miki?” 

“Why did she leave?” 

He sighs. Because he’s an idiot. Because he can’t control his tongue, because he can’t accept his faults, because he’s in over his head. 

“We had an argument. I got upset with her and said something that wasn’t very nice to her.” 

“Does she still love us?” 

“You’re her entire world. She loves you both, so much. That’s partially why she’s so mad at you Megumi. She doesn’t like to see you hurt and gets upset when you willingly put yourself in situations like this.”

He feels his phone buzzing on the floor, basically collapsing trying to pick it up fast enough. He presses the phone to his ear, without even checking the caller ID. 

“Y/N?” 

“Am I speaking with Mister Satoru Gojo?” 

“Yes, this is him.” 

“This is Tokyo Medical Hospital. I’m calling regarding a Miss Y/N L/N. She was in a car accident around thirty minutes ago, near the central line highway. She’s just been transported to our Emergency Department where we are responding to her now. It would be best if you could arrive as soon as possible. Do you know her blood type? We need to attempt a transfusion.” 

He feels his voice strain in his neck, fighting to get the word out. Blood type. They need your blood type. You were in a car accident. Blood transfusion.

“O negative. Her blood type is O negative.” 

 - 

Shoko and Nanami meets him at the front of the hospital and he nearly breaks down right there. He was a mess without you. You had to be okay. You had to stay alive. 

“I’ll watch the kids.” 

Nanami walks off, his hands holding their tiny ones as he takes them on a walk around the block. 

“Am I going to lose her, Shoko? Is she okay?” 

“She’s really hurt, the glass shattered on impact. Just go through the doors, Satoru. She was asking for you.” 

Glass. He nearly runs through the double doors and is met directly with the sight of you. 

The air is gone from his lungs and the room is on fire. No. You’re lying on the gurney, the two nurses balancing shining, silver surgical tools in their hands. They’re digging shards of glass out of your soft, soft skin - from your arms, your chest, and the sides of your face. 

He can see the tears streaming down your face, your eyes pinching in pain every time they pull a piece out. The worst part, he can hear you murmuring his name and asking for him every time they do. He walks up aimlessly, interlocking his hand with your free, uninjured side. He can feel his hands shaking in yours, his blood burning in his skin. 

“Satoru?” 

He reaches forward, patting down your hair. 

“I’m here, i’m here.” 

“It hurts, Satoru.”

He feels his resolve break at the sound of your voice. He’s crying, full on crying at the sight of you like this. In pain, sitting alone for the past hour. He lifts your uninjured hand, pressing a kiss to the top of your knuckles before resting your fingers against his eyes. 

“It’s best if you can distract her while we do this. The silence makes it easier to focus on the pain.” 

He nods, turning his face away from the nurse and towards you. 

“Hi love.” 

“Hi Satoru.” 

“Don’t…don’t die on me, okay? I still have a lot of things I want to do with you.” 

“Like what? 

You hiss in pain, squeezing his hand as they keep going deeper into your skin. 

“Eat breakfast with you tomorrow. Make you those strawberry pancakes you love so much. Watch you yell as me as I squish whipped cream into Megumi’s hair.” 

He watches you laugh, the pain still pressed on your face as you try to respond. 

“Don’t respond. It’s okay, love. Just listen to me, yeah?” 

You nod, squeezing your hand in his own. 

“I…I love you.” he can feel his voice breaking, trying to stop his tears from returning. He clears his throat, his heart screaming in his chest. 

“I love you so much, Y/N. You’re everything to me. You and me, we’re going to be okay. I- I…there’s just so much we have to do still. I didn’t even get to marry you yet. Or put my own kid in you.” 

“Gross.” 

“Out of all that, that’s what you chose to respond to?” 

He sees you smile, your eyes all watery at the sight of him. He loves you. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. 

- 

You wake up a few hours later, to a very pink eyed Satoru sitting on the chair next to you. He looks horrible.

You make the slightest bit of movement, attempting to reach out for him, and he jumps up from his chair. He presses his hands to your face, shaking his head profusely at you as you put your hands down. 

“No, no love. No moving, okay?” 

You nod and he gives you a soft smile, before locking his fingers with your own. You can see the tears building in his eyes, his smile being replaced with tears streaming down his eyes. 

“Can you put on a little nurses uniform? We’re about to live out my wildest dreams.” 

He laughs at your joke, his teary smile returning. 

“Shut up. Stop copying my fantasies.” 

His hands don’t leave your face, his entire body shaking at the sight of you. He’s scared, scared shitless and you don’t know how to fix it. You’re okay. You’re both going to be okay. You try to sit up, Satoru’s hands helping you most of the way. He has his arm secured around your waist, holding you steady. 

“Satoru. I’m okay.” 

“You’re not allowed to do that. You can’t just pick up and leave every time you get mad at me. I thought I lost you. I almost did lose you. Do you think I could live if I actually did?”  

“I know, Toru. I’m sorry.” 

He presses himself against your shoulder, crying into your arms. He’s ran his hands over your arms multiple time’s now, his fingers resting against your beating pulse at your wrist. You can feel the guilt twisting in your chest, for leaving, driving so recklessly, upsetting him in the first place. Any normal person would get up and run right about now. 

“You are the only family I have. Please don’t leave me, Satoru.” 

You feel your heart clench in your chest at the sight of his defeated resolve and can’t even remember why you were mad, why you drove off in the first place. You squeeze his hand twice, rubbing small circles into the back of his hand. 

“You’re the one who left me. I would never leave you. It’s you and me, in life and in death, Y/N. Preferably not the death part from you, if that’s possible please. That’s against the rules.” 

“In life and in death? Those are wedding vows, Satoru, we aren’t even married. And we don’t have rules.” you deadpan.

“You didn’t get the memo? We’re married in my head, sweet thing.” 

The two of you laugh, the giggles filling up the little medic bay you were sitting in. You feel him lean over, his face still wet and pink from his tears, and press a soft kiss to your forehead before pressing one to your lips. 

“Did you eat chocolate from the vending machine?” 

“No.” 

“Don’t lie. I can taste it on your lips, idiot. Your supposed wife is maybe possibly dying and you’re eating candy?” 

“You’re so vulgar. Talking about my lips like that in public. And I was eating for both of us. In your honor. I knew it’s what you would have wanted.” 

You roll your eyes at him, giving him a smile, before leaning your head against his shoulder. 

“Where are Megumi and Tsumiki?” 

“With Nanami, outside. I’ll go grab them now that you’re all bandaged up.” 

As he sprints out the door, you readjust in the bed, sitting up. You watch the two of them run in, their little faces swollen from crying. You feel the tears well in your own eyes at the sight of it. You open up your arms (which hurts like a bitch), signaling at the two of them to climb up. They press their bodies against you, their distinct smells pressed against your nose (vanilla for Tsumiki, clean laundry for Megumi). 

You can feel them sobbing against you and press kisses to both of their heads as they shake in your arms. You can feel your skin burning at them pressing against your bandages, but you don’t want to let them go.

“Okay, kids. Off. We can hug her as hard as we want when she feels better, okay?” 

Satoru Gojo, mind reader. They climb off, the three of them facing you at the side of your bed. They all have their hands pressed against you - Satoru’s resting in your hair, Tsumiki’s in your hand, and Megumi’s at your shoulder. Satoru speaks first. 

“I was thinking.” 

“You can do that?” 

“You wound me, Fushiguro Megumi.” 

The three of you snicker at the sound of his whiny voice, the smiles reaching all the way to Tsumiki and Megumi’s cheeks. 

“I’ve always had mental rules you should be following in my head, as I am our benevolent, perfect, spectacular leader. But we should establish real ones, for each other. We are a family after all.” 

“You’re not our leader.” deadpans Megumi, rolling his eyes at Satoru before eyeing you exasperatedly. 

“I like it, Satoru.” you whisper. 

“Me first, then. My first rule is for Miss Miki. You have to do anything and everything I say.” 

The three of you stare him down, pinching your eyes in annoyance. 

“I’m kidding. You guys are such a tough crowd. My first real rule is for Megumi. You’re not going to fight anymore. No punching people when you get angry.” 

He nods, whispering a promise to you, more than Satoru, that he won’t fight again. You squeeze his fingers that are interlocked with yours, nodding at the promise. 

“The next one is for you, missy. No running away, Y/N. Ever. We can argue all night for all I care. You don’t get to leave.”

You nod, promising all of them that you won’t leave them again. You don’t miss the way their tensed shoulders relax at your promise, shocked that they were even worried about you leaving again in the first place. You would never leave them again. Tsumikis’ quiet voice fills the room next. 

“Third rule, no fighting if we can avoid it. We’re all on the same team here so we can just try to work it out.” 

You reach forward, pressing your hand into Tsumiki’s hair, you and Satoru promising her you won’t fight, at least if you can’t help it, again. The three of you nod, smiling at each other at your new rules. 

“I have one.” 

You reach over, running your hands through Megumi’s hair as you smile at him, encouraging to speak up. 

“No one leaves the house without saying goodbye. You especially, Mom.” 

Mom. Mom. Fushiguro Megumi, in the six months he has been staying with you, has never called you Mom. You can feel the tears welling in your eyes, wanting to crush him in a hug for a better part of the next hour or the rest of his life. You’re his Mom. 

Before you can reach forward to do so, Satoru’s whiny voice stops you. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s not even fair.” 

“Toru, shut up.” 

“Megs. If I break my neck, will you call me dad?” 

You roll your eyes. Way to ruin a moment. 

“How about I break it right now and we test the theory?” 

Megumi and Tsumiki break out into giggles and you and Satoru can’t help but join them at the sound of their laughter. The three of them press themselves against you, wrapping your arms around as you all laugh. 

“Hey, one more rule, okay?”

You all nod, turning to face Satoru. 

“Everyone calls me daddy from now on.” 

“Can you actually break his neck now? Please? I can help.” 

[therealcocoshady]

Hi coco , I don’t know if your still doing requests if not juts by past this .

Fem reader x Marshall

Reader is some sort of celebrity and her and Marshall’s sex tape gets leaked

SECRETS OUT - ONE SHOT

Eminem x Celebrity Reader

Author’s note : Thank you so much for your request. I Hope you like it ❤️. I thoroughly enjoyed writing one shots and HCs so if you have requests, feel free to send them to me in my Ask.

Synopsis : You’re a prominent influencer, having a secret relationship with Em for years. None of you intend on making it public… until your sextape gets leaked.

When you started dating Marshall, the two of you had a serious talk about how important it was to him that your relationship remained private. He knew that you shared a lot of your life online - hell, it was kind of your job as an influencer - and respected it, but he was adamant about not being featured on your social media accounts and YouTube channel. You respected his wish. To be honest, you were a little relieved : your last relationship had ended because of public scrutiny and you didn’t want history to repeat itself. Especially since the person you were dating was a megastar. No offense to your ex, who was still a very successful influencer, but next to Marshall Mathers, he was chopped liver. If publicly dating someone with ten million YouTube followers was hard, you couldn’t imagine how it would be if everyone knew you were dating Eminem.

You actually did a good job at keeping your followers and his fans in the dark about your relationship. To everyone, the both of you were single and, even though they were rumours about the two of you dating other public figures, you had never been linked together. No one expected you, a twenty-something fashion and beauty influencer to date Eminem. From the looks of it, you didn’t have much in common and didn’t run in the same circles.

So your relationship flew under the radar for years and you even managed to get married without the public knowing. You had the most beautiful wedding, held in a secluded location with only your closest friends, with a lot of logistics and NDAs involved. Everyone joked that you had to be the only influencer who didn’t share the most important day of their life on social media. Especially when the wedding was so insta-worthy. A few years ago, you would have been a little bummed about it, but being with Marshall kept you grounded and reminded you that not everything was meant to be shared online. If anything, the secrecy of your wedding and the « no phones or camera allowed » rule allowed everyone to enjoy the moment instead of focusing on filming it or snapping pictures of their plates or outfit. That didn’t mean there were no pictures taken though. The only person who immortalised the wedding was the photographer and, though guests were sent the pictures, they were asked not to share, and everyone respected your wishes.

Just because the two of you didn’t share pictures online didn’t mean you didn’t take plenty. In fact, your phones were full of cute selfies of the two of you. At the beginning of your relationship, he often made fun of your habit to try and immortalise moments, but he ended up getting into it. When the two of you met, he was still using an old BlackBerry and took the crappiest selfies, but you managed to turn him into the perfect Instagram husband. In fact, he was the one who helped you do your daily outfit posts and he was more than decent at telling you how you should pose. And if he was a bit judgy of influencers at first, he had come to understand your line of work and your love of fashion. He was extremely supportive of every thing you did and his eyes were gleaming with adoration when he was watching you film your videos, though he still liked to tease you.

One evening, during your honeymoon, you found him filming himself in the mirror as you walked out of the bathroom in your finest, sluttiest lingerie.

- What are you doing ? You giggled.

- Immortalising the outfit. So, it’s simple, the boxers are Givenchy, fall collection… care to share yours ? He chuckled as he pointed the phone to you.

- So tonight, I’m wearing a gorgeous Dita Von Teese set, you said as you posed and played along. We have this gorgeous corset, and the panties are amazing, too…

- Turn around and show the back, babe, he instructed. You’re gorgeous.

This became a little game that you played during the whole honeymoon. Each night, Marshall filmed you in your lingerie, under the pretense that he wanted to remember your honeymoon as vividly as possible. This made you laugh and you let him. It started as « innocent » « outfit of the night » videos but, on occasion, you both felt frisky and ended up filming a literal sex tape, or rather a series of them. Nothing especially elaborate, just one of you holding the phone while doing the deed, just for laughs. You didn’t even watch them after or think about it. It was really just the two of you clowning around, making fun of your own IG account and enjoying your honeymoon. Once you got back home, you didn’t keep it going and eventually came to forget there were videos of you and Marshall having sex on his phone. Until the videos were leaked, that is.

You had been married for about six months and enjoyed your weekly brunch with Marshall’s daughters when they suddenly went silent, after Stevie showed her sisters something on her phone.

- Oh my God, I’m going to puke, Stevie said.

- Girls, no phone at the table, Marshall groaned.

- Have you guys… seen the news ? Hailie asked.

- What news ? You asked back, a tad confused.

- The Pistons headline, Alaina said.

- What’s wrong with the team ? Marshall asked with a raised eyebrow.

The girls frowned and stayed silent for a second before handing the phone to the two of you. There was an article about you and Marshall, soberly titled : « Detroit’s ultimate Piston : Eminem sextape leaked (featuring influencer Y/N ». The headline was enough to make you want to die. The article wasn’t much better. It commented on the videos and showed a few screenshots of tweets reacting to the leak such as « Bro can’t take a decent selfie but you can trust him to point the camera at his dick correctly 👀 » or « Damn. He’s 51 but Y/N’s the one who’s gonna need hip replacement surgery with these trusts 💀». You and Marshall stared at each other while the girls were looking at you. You felt humiliated. Not only were the videos leaked online, you were confronted by your step-daughters - though they were old enough to be your sisters - about it. You looked down, absolutely mortified.

- Don’t watch these, Marshall told his daughters.

- Like we’d want to see that, Stevie pointed out.

- Really, guys, a sextape ? Alaina asked. Dad, you’re 51 !

- I’m going to be sick, you said as you left the table and headed to your room.

You heard Marshall calling your name but there was absolutely no way you could face anyone right now. Once you were alone, you anxiously checked your phone. Of course, everyone was in a frenzy. Your manager was texting you and your social media accounts were flooded. Both in the comments and your DMs, people were going crazy and talking about the videos. You already had a huge following, but it was something else entirely. You immediately called your manager, who was beyond pissed. Apparently, some brands you collaborated threatened to sever their ties with you. Of course, you getting rammed on video didn’t really fit in with your usual good girl image and it wouldn’t be a good look for them. Now, not only were you ashamed but you were also terrified. You had worked too hard for your career to crumble that easily.

- What should I do ? You anxiously asked.

- For now, nothing, she said. I’m going to consult with a few people to see what we can do for damage control. Though if I were you I’d get ready to film an apology video.

- I didn’t do anything wrong, you pointed out. These videos were not meant to be shared.

- You know how it is, Y/N. I’ll get back to you ASAP.

- Thanks, you said sheepishly. Talk to you soon.

When you hung up, you couldn’t resist the temptation to go and check other articles. Obviously, news traveled fast and you were now a trending subject. Marshall being the more famous of the two of you, his name was on every headline but, from the looks of it, you were the one whose reputation was suffering the most. While everybody seemed to praise his performance - and impressive physique - you were deemed a slut by the Internet. Even worse, some people were already making memes with your face and some rappers beefing with Marshall were reposting them. You had always been a « glass half-full » type of person but you literally wanted to die. In a flash, it seemed like you could kiss your career and reputation goodbye.

After about an hour, Marshall joined you in the bedroom and took you in his arms while you were sobbing.

- Hey, he said sheepishly.

- I-I’m sorry, you said. But I can’t go and face your daughters. I just can’t. I can’t face anyone right now, I-I…

- It’s fine, he replied before kissing your forehead. I sent them home.

- Im sorry, you said. I know how much family brunch means to you…

- As it turns out, having your kids lecture you about your leaked sextape isn’t as fun as people make it out to be, he said sarcastically.

You couldn’t help but chortle. Even in this type of dramatic situations, you could always count on Marshall’s dry humor. He placed another kiss on your forehead and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

- We’ll be fine, he said reassuringly. Don’t worry, babe.

- Why aren’t you freaking out ? You asked. You should be freaking out.

- Oh, I’m freaking out, he said. I mean, I’m livid. But on a practical level, I know people will forget about it eventually, you know.

- Easy for you to say, you pointed out. The Internet is raving about the size of your dick and commenting about how in shape you are for an older dude… meanwhile, people are calling me a slut.

- You’re not a slut, he said as he rolled his eyes.

- Tell that to the thousand of people calling me a rapper groupie or whatever that is, you groaned.

- Doesn’t matter, he shrugged. We both know that’s not true. You’re not a groupie, you’re my wife.

- Well I’m about to be a stay at home wife, you said with tears in your eyes. I had my agent on the phone and sponsors are already breaking contracts… I-I’m losing everything, Marshall…

The tears started streaming down again. Mentioning the situation out loud was upsetting, it only meant it was real. You were really on the verge of losing everything. Your husband knew better than anyone how much your career meant to you, the work you put in and everything you had invested to be successful. To you, it wasn’t just a job : it was your dream. You had always tried your best to have a pristine reputation as an influencer and stay out of drama but now, people were looking down on you and calling you names. And you dreaded the perspective of doing an apology video. It was humiliating. In most recent years, you had focused your content on beauty and fashion instead of your private life but now, it was up for public consumption. Marshall held you tight as you told him about the comments you received and how sad you were about losing collaborations you were looking forward to.

- You don’t need these people’s money, he said.

- You know it’s not a matter of money, you replied curtly. It’s never only been about money. It’s more than that.

- I know, he said. But look, these videos were stolen from us. And if these brands who put that much effort into building a so-called relationship with you drop you easily, it’s not worth it. They should be sending you flowers and publicly supporting you.

- You know that’s not how it works, you sighed.

- All I’m saying is that it’s unfair, he said. And I’m sorry you’re going through this. But I know you. You’re strong and you’re resilient. And your followers love you. You’re not going to lose your career over this.

- I’ll do my best, you shrugged. My agency wants me to film an apology video.

- Are they serious ? He groaned. You don’t have to apologise for shit. These videos were fucking stolen, Y/N !!!

He was clearly mad. Funnily enough, he seemed more angry over the unfairness of the situation than the fact that everyone could see him having sex on video. But then again, it probably had something to do with his reputation being pretty intact. Sure, that would probably earn him a few lines in diss tracks people might be tempted to put out, but there wasn’t much to be ashamed of, as far as he was concerned. First of all, the videos clearly made a good job of shutting down rumours about his size, and he still came across as someone who had sex. On the other hand, you were more visible on the videos and earning a reputation of an easy and slutty influencer, hungry for fame. Typical double standard. You cursed whoever had managed to steal these videos. And deep down, you were mad that they had been so easily stolen.

- Why were they stolen in the first place ? You groaned.

- What ? He asked. You know how it is… people’s phones get hacked all the fucking time. Whoever did that was probably hoping to get their hands on new music. Joke’s on them, though. We only function with CDs to avoid this type of leaks.

- Joke’s on them ?! You almost yelled. The joke is on me !!! I couldn’t care less about your CDs. No offense but I’d rather have your album leaked than my career ruined, Marshall !!!

- Sorry, he said as he nervously scratched his beard. Poor choice of word. Of course it’s worse. What I mean is… hacks happen all the time. Every month there’s a new story about a celebrity’s phone or computer or cloud being hacked.

- And I’m usually over here, making fun about people who don’t know how to protect their data, you said as you rolled your eyes. The most basic thing to do is to at least put this type of photos in a folder that requires double authentication.

- Double what ?

He looked at you with big eyes. Of course, he had no idea what you were talking about. « That’s what you get for marrying a dummy when it comes to technology », you thought. You didn’t want to get mad at him, but you were pissed. You rolled your eyes at him and let your head fall on the pillow.

- I have to go and call Paul, he said. We’re both going to have to do damage control. But we’ll be fine, I promise you.

- Mmmmh, you groaned.

- I’ll do my best to find whoever did that and sue their ass, he assured you. And whoever shares these videos, too. When we got married, I swore I would protect you and you best believe I’m making good on that.

- Thanks, you said sheepishly.

The following couple of days were especially tough. News had obviously traveled fast and everyone in your life knew about the videos. You thought facing Hailie, Alaina and Stevie was hard, but FaceTiming with your parents was even harder. You could tell they were disappointed, and mostly worried for you. Both of your management teams were trying to find the best way to get through it. Unfortunately, crisis management wasn’t the same for a rapper as it was for an influencer. Marshall’s team advised him to stay silent while yours was almost begging you to address the elephant in the room, preferably with your husband, who was an ogre about it.

- I’m not appearing in your damn apology video, he groaned. It’s stupid enough that you have to do one of these.

- I have to do what’s best for my career, you pleaded.

- You always said these videos were disingenuous, he pointed out.

- Well, yes, but what am I going to do ? You groaned. Disappear and kiss my career goodbye ? And I’m not you, Marshall. I can’t just ignore it and go back to posting videos as if nothing happened.

He hummed and you kept talking about it, trying to come up with a solution. You weren’t thrilled about the idea of addressing the situation and he was right : you had nothing to apologise for. And he was fully against the idea of standing next to you like a First Lady while you filmed something so silly. Of course, it turned into an argument. There was only so much pressure you could take. And you knew Marshall was doing his best and keeping in touch with his lawyers, but you were mad that he wouldn’t support you publicly.

- I’m asking you to stand next to me for a damn video, that’s all, you sighed. I’m not asking for the moon, here. You don’t even have to say anything.

- Then what’s the point in me being here at all ? He shrugged. We agreed that I would be kept out of your content, Y/N. That was clear from the start.

- Because everyone thinks I’m a whore ! You yelled. I was fine with people not knowing about us, but I am not fine with people calling me a rapper whore. And I am not fine with my husband not supporting me. You said we were a team ! You promised to care for me and protect me for the rest of our lives. Or were these vows just words to you ?!?!

You knew he would be pissed off by your words. He had always made it clear that his vows were absolutely serious and solemn. And you knew for a fact that he had put a lot of heart and thought into writing them. He didn’t say anything, just sighed and left the room. Obviously, you both needed to take time off because this escalated into an argument. You groaned and stayed in the bedroom, which you had barely left since the videos had leaked.

A couple of hours later, you went downstairs and found Marshall watching some boxing match on TV.

- Hey, you said sheepishly.

- Hey, he simply said.

- Look, I’m sorry, I…, you began.

- Don’t sweat it, he shrugged as he gestured for you to come sit on his lap.

You sat on him and watched with him in silence, enjoying the sensation of his arms wrapped around your waist. When the match ended, he turned off TV and smiled at you.

- I took care of things, he said.

- You did ? You asked.

- I did, he confirmed. You don’t need to film that stupid video.

- What did you do ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

He seemed pretty sure of himself, proud even, and you tried hard not to show it, but you were still a bit doubtful.

- Check Instagram, he simply said as he handed you your phone.

You nervously checked your account. You were tagged in thousands of new posts. Only these weren’t posts of the sex videos. Your account was flooded with pictures of your wedding, posted by your friends and reposted by tons of fan accounts. Your closest influencer friends had posted the beautiful pictures of them with you at the wedding. Marshall’s friends had done the same : 50, Dre, Porter, Royce… everyone was posting about your nuptials. The most beautiful shot was the one shared by Marshall on his account : a gorgeous black and white shot of the two of you after the reception, holding hands and staring at the fireworks, captioned : « For better & for worse. Happy 6 months anniversary. ». Everyone was going absolutely crazy in the comments, not failing to show their surprise and mentioning that he was now following one account : yours. You looked at him, almost crying and took him in your arms.

- Oh my God, you said. I can’t believe you did this.

- Called in a few favors and asked our friends to post the wedding pictures, he said with a smile. I figured the Internet would focus on these rather than the videos. So far it seems to be working…

- You didn’t have to, you said emotionally. I know you wanted to keep the wedding a secret.

- I also wanted to keep our sex life secret, he chuckled. But I care more about you and supporting you. Now, everyone knows I have your back. Until death do us part. And if anyone dares come for you, I will end them. I promise.

- I love you, you said emotionally.

- I love you too, he replied before kissing you. I’m sorry I was grumpy about the whole thing. You were right, these vows were never meant to be just words. I want to put them in action.

You kissed him passionately and you both took a minute to enjoy the posts everyone made about your wedding, reminiscing about that special day.

- I’m happy I don’t have to make that stupid apology video, you confessed.

- Me too, he chuckled. I did make an apology though.

- You did ? You asked in surprise.

He showed you his IG story. A black screen with simple text - in true influencer fashion : « I want to take a minute to apologize about the videos that have been leaked. I am sorry if anyone was confused. They were misleading and I want to state that the boxers were actually not Givenchy but Calvin Klein. Sorry for the confusion. 👀». You chortled and kissed him.

- What ? That was the only thing worth an apology, he pointed out with a smile.

- You’re such a troll, you said as you playfully rolled your eyes.

You spent the following days in bliss, showered with love from both your followers and his fans. Everyone was going crazy about your wedding and, even though there were still mentions of the sextape, most of the attention was focused on your relationship. Both of your management teams were also happy to put the incident behind them, though now they had to deal with plenty of interview requests. However, you agreed that even though your secret was out, nothing would really change. You slowly got back to business. Though nothing didn’t really change for Marshall - who was always in hermit mode in the studio - you had a lot of new followers and tons of collaboration requests. The sponsors who had been quick to drop you even came back and attempted to suck up to you, though you absolutely refused to work with them again. You were in your home office, reviewing partnership requests when you came across the biggest offer of your career : none other than Calvin Klein wanted you to be the new face of their underwear campaign, offering you a shit ton of money. It was the biggest opportunity you had ever received but you were a bit nervous when you mentioned it to your husband.

- What do you think ? You asked after you brought it up to him.

- I think we’ve established that you look good in underwear, he grinned.

- Yes but that would be banking on our sextape, our relationship… would it be ok with you ? You asked.

- I’ll cut you a deal : I’m ok with you doing that campaign if you’re ok with me using your moans as ad libs, he said with a smirk.

- You can’t be serious, you giggled as you rolled your eyes.

- What ? He chuckled. We’re partner in life, we might as well be business partners.

[sapphicsparkles]

"Bo-Katan isn't mean" Okay because I'm so tired of hearing this:

[/mēn/] adjective: unkind, spiteful, or unfair. vicious or aggressive in behaviour. Not mean? Okay definitely not vicious or aggressive in behavior Like her first appearance where she's part of Death Watch, a terrorist group and slaps Ahsoka's ass without consent to demean her?

Or when she shoves Ahsoka to the ground and *laughs* in a tent where Death Watch (including Bo-Katan) has stolen women from the local village on Carlac and put them into forced servitude?

OR when she helps slaughter the village and burn down said village for asking Death Watch to leave them alone? (that's her on top of the roof)?

Or after when she tried to kill Ahsoka and Lux for trying to help the villagers and leave?

Or when she aided in a plot to cause intentional destruction and fear to manipulate the people of Mandalore into deposing her own sister and overturn Satine's very successful government that ended the clan wars (the Traditionalists then were given the lush moon of Concordia and their own political agency and government in which Pre Vizsla was the governor)? Then forcefully deposed Satine at gunpoint after she had abdicated because of the will of the people who no longer accepted her rule due to the manipulation of public perception by Death Watch.

While Bo-Katan was likely traumatized by the Mandalorian Civil War/Clan Wars at a young age and there's no solid canon evidence but It's widely believed by fans that Bo-Katan was groomed and/or radicalized by Pre into DW from a young age--even if you believe this, IT DOES NOT EXCUSE HER HORRIFIC ACTIONS. None of it justifies her wrongdoing. She still had agency.

Okay so what about unkind or unfair?

Surely that can't apply to her sarcastic comment to Ahsoka when approaching her after she had watched her struggle on Kessel and made no move to assister her, only watching her to use her to fight back against Maul and reclaim Mandalore. While she does respect and befriend Ahsoka by the end of the Siege, she still initially saw her as someone to be used for her agenda.

Or when she uses Obi-Wan's guilt over his relationship with Satine to convince him to aid her forces in retaking Mandalore, which Republic intervention would disintegrate treaties over a hundred years old and start another war on top of the ongoing Clone Wars. Which to her was a legitimate, even desperate method to reclaim her planet from Maul who was only serving his own agenda, but it wasn't a very nice way to do it. In some ways Bo-Katan is justified in how she is mean, but it doesn't make her not mean.

Then there's her anger towards Sabine after she discovering what the Duchess does and that Sabine created it (after hearing how guilt ridden she is and how she already destroyed it.) Was her anger valid, oh yeah. Was it kind and and fair? No.

What about in The Mandalorian you ask? She's not a literal terrorist anymore in the Mandalorian. She's surely not still spiteful or unkind. Definitely not when she insulted Din's religious beliefs and way of life and called the COTW a cult.

Or when she took credit for killing that one guy's brother without any remorse.

Or when she changed the terms of her agreement with Din and forced him into helping her by withholding the agreed upon information after Din upheld his side of the deal. Which was her plan all along. And then on top of that, mocks him by using his own mantra.

And then there's the disdainful opinion she has of Din and her own superiority.

Only agreeing to help Din save his kid when he has something to offer her to serve her own agenda. Which again, valid but not something she does out of the kindness of her heart.

Oh and then she's so direct and straightforward to Boba, not mean at all.

Then in season 3 when Din shows up to help her reclaim Mandalore the first thing she does is take out her anger on him and once again insult his religion/COTW and invalidate his belief that the Mines will restore his place in his religion. All unnecessary.

TO BE EXTREMELY CLEAR: I'm not discrediting Bo-Katan's personal progress into a better person or when she does do good--a hero even by the end of Mando season 3--that's the whole point of a redemption arc, you have to be redeemed from something. And at her core is a commitment to Mandalore, but you can't ignore the cruelty and ego and dare I say it meanness that has gone with it, that's the beauty of her complexity is that she can be a character that grows and evolves and becomes honorable and also still be bitchy. Bo-Katan doesn't have to be morally squeaky clean or a victim to enjoy her character and her sometimes ruthless determination for Mandalore or appreciate her compassionate aspects and letting go of her ego. She's not an easily consumable or morally black and white character. This is in fact, what I love about her.

Thank you @armoralor for assistance with the screenshots from The Mandalorian!

[moonstruckme]

Hi my love!! I just reread your bodyguard tasm!peter parker blurb and it was so cute 😭I loved the original premise where peters spider senses got distracted because of her!! You wrote it so beautifully.

I'd love to request a part two (If you're open to that?) where he's guarding her again and we see their relationship develop a little more??

i read your requests rules and couldn't find anything about you not writing part twos, but feel free to ignore if you'd rather not! lots of love <3 <3

Hi sweetheart, thank you thank you!!

bodyguard!(tasm)Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Peter’s staying on the ground for your sake, but he doesn’t love it. 

You’re relaxed as can be, lounging on your bed while he paces your unfairly giant room from end to end. This, he thinks, is why people hate politicians. You’ve got an ensuite bathroom the size of his apartment, and on the taxpayer’s dime. He gets it now. If you and your dad were living in a shoebox like every other self-respecting New Yorker, maybe the guy wouldn’t get so many death threats. 

“You don’t have to be all vigilant,” you say. “My dad’s not here. So long as I don’t get actually kidnapped or killed while you’re here, sitting down isn’t going to affect your performance evaluation.” 

Peter looks at you. “I’m getting a performance evaluation?” 

Your smile is lopsided and goofy. It’s humiliating how much it affects him. “No. Who would he send it to? Your employer?” 

“Oh.” He feels stupid. “Good point.” 

“Come here,” you laugh. “I got us coffee.” 

He goes to sit on your bed, mostly because he’ll do anything you ask him to. After spending a few hours hugging you on a roof, Peter’s found that he actually likes you. You’re not snooty or spoiled like he might have expected, friendly to him even though he’s technically working for you. You seem oddly down-to-earth for someone with your upbringing, funny and smart. (Smarter than him, maybe. You turn him into a blundering idiot every time he sees you, though, so it’s hard to say.) You’re surprisingly fun to be around. 

You lean over, grabbing two disposable coffee cups from your nightstand. “Do you want peppermint or caramel?” 

“Which one do you want?” 

“No way. You’re my guest, you get first pick.” 

Peter’s here on a job, but he likes your version of the story better. The idea of you thinking of him as your guest, someone invited in whom you want to please, makes an affectionate warmth unfurl in his gut. 

“You should probably have the one you want, because the other one’s going to get cold,” he says, an apology in his tone. Your brows wrinkle. “I can’t really drink through the mask…” 

“Oh.” You close your eyes, expression clearing. “God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about that.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Peter’s smiling under the mask. He wonders if you can hear it in his voice. “Enjoy yours. I’ll live vicariously.” 

“You couldn’t just lift it up enough to drink?” 

“Uh, no. The whole secret identity thing is…kind of important to the job.” 

You smile guiltily, lifting one of the cups to your lips. “Fair enough.” 

You’re silent for a minute, watching him as you sip at your coffee. Once again, making it nearly impossible for Peter to do what he’s being paid to do. He should be keeping his senses alert, watching the windows, surveilling the perimeter or whatever. Not looking into your clever, narrowed eyes and thinking about how your whole room smells like you. 

“Okay,” you say, still scrutinizing him like you’re trying to count the threads in his suit, “now I’m dying to know what’s under the mask.” 

Peter sits very still. He’s had people—fans and foes alike—try to tear it off him before, but he doesn’t think you’re like that. 

“I mean, obviously you’re tall,” you lean back on the bed, mouth pursed in contemplation, “so you’re not, like, twelve. You sound about my age…” 

“I what?” 

“Your voice.” 

“What—” He clears his throat. Tries to sound more generationally ambiguous. “What would make you think that?” 

You crack another one of those sweet, silly smiles. “Well, you’re not going to fool me now,” you say. “I’ve heard you talk. You can’t be more than thirty. Plus, when you got here, you said ‘yo’.” 

Peter really needs to stop saying that. He doesn’t even know when he started. 

“You’ve got stitches all over your suit…” you go on. “What neighborhood are you from again?” 

“I’m not telling you that,” he laughs. 

“Oh, come on.” You scooch a little on the bed, tucking one leg under you to face him more fully. Your eyes pierce his like knives. Very pretty knives. “There’s almost ten million people in New York. You really think I’m going to track you down?” 

“Your dad is the mayor…” 

“Stop.” You give his shoulder a playful shove. Peter’s mask feels suddenly warm. “Those surveillance rumors weren’t true, the tabloids made that up to mess with his re-election campaign.”

“Okay, okay. I’m from Queens.” 

You lean back on your hands, and he can’t decide if the way you’re looking at him is analyzing or flirting. “Interesting,” you say slowly. “So you’re, like, a real man of the people. Not the Bruce Wayne type.” 

“Hey,” he teases, “Bruce Wayne could’ve lived in Queens. It’s nice.” 

“But Bruce Wayne wouldn’t have to sew his own suits,” you point out. 

Peter tilts his head, blows a breath out the side of his mouth. You’ve got him there. 

“And you’re tall, clearly pretty strong, you seem smart…” You nod, seeming to have come to a decision. “I think you’re handsome under there.” 

A laugh startles out of him. He hopes it sounds casual, like it came from someone cool, whose heart isn’t galloping in his chest. Peter really shouldn’t care if you think he has the potential to be handsome under his mask. It’s not like you’ll ever find out. Still, it feels weirdly nice. 

He makes his voice light and playful. “Well, it’s good to have your approval. Now we can pretend that I’m almost in your league.” 

For the first time since he’s gotten here, you look genuinely caught offguard. “Me?” 

“Yeah, you.” Peter grins. It feels good to have flustered you. He’s missed doing that. “Who else?” 

You look away from him as you laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you say, “but you’re a superhero. You’re not the one who should be worried about leagues.” 

You’re cute. Peter makes a bold move, scooting an inch closer to you, into your space. He’s glad you can’t see that under the mask, his face is just as flushed as yours. “I’m not a superhero,” he says, keeping his voice light as meringue. “I’m just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.” 

You roll your eyes. “Humble, too. Points in your favor.” 

A laugh rumbles through his chest. Someday, he’s gonna have to get Peter Parker in your orbit somehow. He wants to meet you—more than that, he wants you to meet him. He’s not sure how long he can wait. 

He decides to let you off the hook. Slightly. He reaches across you, taking the unused cup from your nightstand. “Thanks for this,” he says. “Once you don’t need me here anymore, I’m gonna take it home and heat it back up.” He grins even though you can’t see it. “Maybe I’ll swing by and return the favor sometime.”

[shaylogic]

Wishlist for DBDA Season 2:

A proper noir episode that plays off Edwin's fondness for traditional detective stories

Significantly more focus on Niko's character now that the traditional comic trio had season 1 to establish. Exploring her father's afterlife situation, meeting up with her Mom, discovering her own strength and skills (especially if she has supernatural powers after the polar bear figurine)

More of Charles' living backstory and family mystery possibly reflecting the comics

Edwin's living backstory and family, whom we know next to nothing about even in comics

Crystal picking up more tech/hacking skills

Cryland Crystal x Charles relationship dynamics: conflict around her bully side, trauma-bonding and conflict around the different kinds of shitty parents they have (which so far has been something Crystal's been better about with Charles than Edwin has been)

Monty, Jenny, and Cat King all move to London with the squad. Idc how or why. I'll accept any reasoning.

Happy lesbians or other wlws!!! Didn't quite get that in season 1.

More Kashi! What is going on with him? He seems important

An episode where one of the main characters is stuck floating upside down like in the Topsy-Turvey comic, and the others take turns holding their hand like they're a balloon

Squooshing and the Ghost Roads

More worldbuilding of realms (Neitherlands?) and ghost rules/abilities

Crystal resolving buried David of course

Desire of the Endless interaction with the rest of our queer characters (which is basically all of them)

Flashback montage of the silly early cases Edwin & Charles did together in the past that they referenced in season 1

Flashback on how the boys began their Detective Agency: their very first case.

Expand their first meeting in the attic scene to include if they actually spoke to Death, what happened to their bodies, and showing them realizing the school is covering them both up

Return to St. Hilarion's. Put bodies to rest. Burn it to the ground.

Edwin new outfit. Once done with the school visit and flashbacks, he should pick something mature and individual to separate the new him from the death trauma time

Jenny's new role in the agency group now that she's aware and sees ghosts. Bonus points for goth knowledge

Charles crop top for the fans

Charles figuring out his 🤞 bisexuality 🤞 this season much like Edwin worked through his internalized homophobia in season 1. We desperately need meaningfully in depth, genuine, quality bi rep in media and I trust this show with it. (Shout out to Nick Heartstopper though)

Payneland dynamics: still slow-burn figuring out their relationship as friends or more now that the confession is known. By the end of season 2 and Charles bi journey?, relationships start to shift a bit from Cryland to Payneland perhaps... [I love them both honestly]. Just when Edwin is making up his mind to put his crush on Charles aside and start looking for his "adventure of the heart" elsewhere, that's right when Charles starts to get more interested. And we may expect him to get all flirty but he actually gets more nervous and genuine with Edwin.

Monty becomes humanoid again and is learning who he is out on his own. Maybe he gets a job and apartment. Trying to figure out his purpose as an individual instead of familiar.

Cat King has a name, an animated backstory, and a new love interest that sees through his bullshit and keeps him humble

Feel free to add your own wishlist in the reblogs/comments! <3

[yunhobug]

Seonghwa NSFW Alphabet

Seonghwa x Gn!reader

w: Hwa’s a simp, he literally worships you and the ground you walk on

Requested? no ma’am!

a/n: Seonghwa is my ult of all ults so i’ve definitely thought about this more than i probably should’ve

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

so sweet and caring, Seonghwa is incredibly observant from start to finish and is constantly checking in with you

he will do everything you want and more, takes a warm shower with you, helps you with skincare, makes sure you have cozy pajamas

nothing is ever missed on Hwa’s watch

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

obsessed with your eyes, he likes to watch your expressions anytime he goes down on you or while fucking into you

loves the way they squint shut or how your eyebrows furrow

on himself, he loves his tongue, we all knew this was gonna show up sooner or later

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Seonghwa is Ateez’s resident cum eater, sorry I said what I said , no take backs

whether it’s yours or his own it’s going to get messy

also loves to cum in you (we’ll come back to this later tho)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s been really wanting to explore more into role play, loves the idea of playing a character and would love to do that with you

specifically would like to play the role of a teacher

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Honestly I don’t think most idols are too experienced especially earlier in their career but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hopeless lmao

Seonghwa has had at least one long term partner and has had enough sex to know what he’s doing

There’s a learning process with hwa though, and it’s one of his favorite parts of your relationship, he loves doing new things together and exploring sex as a couple

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

loves a good ole missionary moment

as i said earlier he is obsessed with the face you make in reaction to him, so he likes positions where he can see your face

he’s also a big fan of you riding him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not at all, in his head being goofy kinda ruins the moment for him

he’s slightly obsessed with making the moment perfect and gets upset when he can’t do that

just make sure to assure him with his efforts

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Prefers to go bare or freshly shaven, he thinks it’s the cleanest and definitely prefers to shave for you

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

HES SUCH A ROMANTIC OML

it’s almost sappy with how much effort he puts in

you love it so much though

i’m talking champagne, rose petals, slow music, a fancy dinner before hand

he’s going to make you feel so loved

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

not super often maybe once or twice a week?

he likes to give himself the challenge of waiting till you can help him

if he can’t though, I could see hwa calling you to help get him off, which is a convenient Segway into the next letter

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

loves sexting and phone sex, it truly feels like his own personal dirty secret

being able to text you, telling you how he wants you to take his cock all the while the members are sitting innocently next to him

also loves to take pictures and video of the two of you, he has a locked folder in his camera roll full of photos of you together, likes to go through them when he’s needy while on tour

I think we all know about the Hwa breeding kink agenda, loves the idea of filling you with his kids, even if you can’t get pregnant, he’s obsessed with the image of it, the possessiveness nature to his thoughts rule over him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the bedroom is always the number one place for him

but he also has major love for shower sex, not only does he love being so close to you but he also likes the easy clean up

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally just you, you could innocently kiss him and he could pop a boner

hwa just loves you and loves the effect you have on him

he loves how attractor find him

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Like San, he isn’t much into pain play, definitely isn’t opposed to spanking you, especially if he’s playing a more domineering role but he isn’t going to go to far with it

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES GIVING

going back to letter C he loves the taste of you, no matter what you may say

he’s literally obsessed with going down on you, he craves for it, he wants you at all times

sometimes it shocks you how much he enjoys giving

cant say he doesn’t love when you give him head though

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Def a slow and sensual guy, loves taking his time with you and is going to make sure you cum a couple times before he does

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

no

like i said just before, he loves to take his time winding you up with his fingers and tongue

how is he going to do just that when you guys only have 15 minutes

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He loves to explore with you, being able to experience things together is one of his favorite things to do

that being said he’s not the biggest fan of being caught, he knows the members would never let him hear the end of it

he also hates anyone seeing you in that type of position

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He knows he can only cum once in a round so he takes his time to pull a few out of you before hand

So one round, maybe two if you take enough time between them

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Loves using toys together, is obsessed with watching how much a vibrator can affect your body

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he teases a little bit but Seonghwa will give you anything you want if you ask for it

you have to ask for it though, a big fan of asking you to use your words

“use your words precious, tell me how you want me.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

definitely moans, they’re so pretty too

especially when you give him head

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

loves when you act innocent for him, if you’re truly inexperienced he loves the idea of being your first and showing you the world of pleasure

on the other hand, even if you aren’t inexperienced, he would love if you played it up for him, goes into his role playing fantasy

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s definitely one of the bigger members of ateez

Probably like 6 1/2” maybe 7”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He would prefer to have sex 4 times a week if he can

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not quick at all, he’s going to make sure you’re cared for before he even thinks of shutting his eyes

[sugar-grigri]

Hope your family is better soon !! Glad you've been taking a step back. If you ever feel like it I'd be interested in hearing any thoughts you have on yoshiden as a ship cause I've unfortunately only ever seen some questionable content but I wanna know what others see there and with your interpretations of the characters I'm really curious. Sorry I feel like that was an unnecessarily long sentence. (Also this is only if you want to!!)

Why Yoshiden has become a problem when it's such a lovable ship

it's not an analysis, it's really a question of personal taste, so if the question of ships gets on your nerves, or bores you, don't read this post! I'm a multi-shipper, so don't go to war either!

It's quite simple really, why fans have trouble with this ship, whether it's a problem of personal taste (ships are first and foremost a matter of taste), the way Denji's character is interpreted and his relationship with men (seeing him only as a hetero character), or the way Yoshida is interpreted.

Yoshida poses problems in general, and as I've said several times here, because he's a character that's hard to get to grips with. Not because he's badly written, but because he's brilliantly written; I like to describe him as an ink blot disturbing the reader. Above all, Yoshida is a character who plays a role, not only with the reader by leading him down false paths, but also with regard to his own adolescence, behaving like an adult given the milieu in which he works and the obvious incompatibility between youth and public hunters.

Yoshida rejects his adolescence, school is just a cover or the exercise ground for his mission, his uniform, something temporary that he will take off when he has accomplished his mission. Remember when he was supposed to team up with Asa and Yuko? Yoshida has completely disappeared, even though he should have been part of the mission, bonding with the two teenagers.

Yoshida disappeared to do what he was really there to do, not to bond with the others, but just to keep an eye on Denji. His black eyes are an indescribable black hole, in which we understand neither the intention of his actions nor the personality behind them. They are there only to reflect the darkness of a system to which a teenager has agreed to bow.

Denji is the opposite of this black hole: he doesn't blend into the background, he's noisy, extremely expressive, finds it hard to lie and has no trouble revealing all his thoughts, even those we might hide for fear of social rejection. Unlike Yoshida, who has joined the system, Denji has been rejected by it, and is completely outside it, even though he wanted to be part of it. Asa is a third case: she belonged to the system but now rejects it.

So I like to interpret and I like to imagine Denji influencing Yoshida in a positive way. One envies his good looks, the way he's able to please people naturally, and the other envies the other's candid, inexhaustible and almost wandering sincerity. One sees the other as an enemy, a rival, someone who can't be identified or trusted; the other hopes to get away with denigrating the other, as something rejected by the system but manipulable.

Because Yoshiden has become problematic because the roles played by Denji and Yoshida and the way each sees the other have been interpreted as truths. As a stupid little thing who can be tormented with Denji, which is Yoshida's vision of Denji. And as a shady guy, a dangerous and sadistic rock with Yoshida, which is Denji's vision of Yoshida.

Instead of imagining a ship, some great stories, where they get to know each other and get out of this cycle of mistrust, some ships are based on this fear of the other and this mutual mistrust. Toxicity is even claimed in some cases, and the resulting non-consent established as a golden rule.

Obviously, I don't share this vision. I personally like to imagine Denji (like Asa) as bisexual. Because the question of gender is a theme of CSM, Denji is also a prisoner of a version of masculinity, of reproductive functions, of the obligation to bond with girls in order to achieve personal fulfilment.

Yoshida rejects all this unnaturally, because the slightest relationship is an obstacle for him. Above all, it's wrong to say that Denji has a problem with men and not with girls. His blind trust is a problem, as he demonstrated with Fumiko.

Denji's distrust of men is obviously the result of his own experience, and is problematic because of the way he distances himself from boys his own age. Chapter 139, in which Denji finds himself totally submissive to Fumiko and rejecting Miri's proposals, shows just how problematic Denji's relationship with gender can be.

This dual problem requires a solution, and I like to imagine Denji finding answers to it in his relationship with Asa and also with Yoshida. It's not so much polyamory that interests me as seeing how characters can find answers in each other, and I like imagining the possibilities so much that I'm often multishipper to see that I can love pairs.

Because even though I know that it can be surprising and that it's a fairly rare ship, seeing Asa and Yoshida also bond whether in terms of strict friendship or love (these two possibilities also apply to Yoshiden). Yoshida and Asa have the same rejection mechanisms and deal with their loneliness differently. Yoshida denies himself through his loneliness, relying on the system, while Asa sees herself as her only pillar, relying on herself.

I know that Yoshiden is just as interesting whether it's a story of friendship or love. But I'm a bit of a stickler for seeing it as a ship based on healthy love. Firstly because I like to imagine how Yoshida can fall in love. But also because I think that seeing Denji as a queer character now represents something unlikely for some fans, which worries others given the way the ship is portrayed in a problematic way. I also want to see Denji having healthy relationships with men. And because I love Asa so much, I want to find a place for her even when I envisage Denji with someone else lol.

Of course, I also want to see Denji loved twice as much as he deserves.

[teddie-bear420]

Swap Au!! I call it “cold hazbin hotel”

Emily moonstone wants to redeem sinners and get to heaven with the help of her butler lute!

Lots of doodles and ramblings under the cut,

if you have any input or jokes or questions send them to me!!

So this swap starts at the very beginning! Lucifer is a big goodie two shoes who doesn’t express his real feelings and is kinda just heavens doormat. Sera on the other hand is driven by fairness and when she sees Adam mistreating Lilith she intervenes. This gets her sent down to hell with Lilith and they start ruling hell with all the sinners. At some point both Lilith and sera stop caring about the state of hell and the sinners establish the overlords that rule territory’s and all that. Around the time that Emily is born sinners like alastor and husk are well established overlords.

Back in heaven, corruption spreads to leadership and Lucifer (as head archangel) kinda just lets it happen. He still runs the show but he doesn’t stand up for what he believes in anymore. Very weak man, thin wrists… dainty even. Adam is still the general of the Exorcist army and nobody holds any one accountable in heaven and the requirements to get into heaven are raised to in unachievable amount!

Sera and Emily are very close, they talk almost everyday, when Emily starts to grow into an adult sera kinda panics and strains the relationship (Emily’s got mommy issues). Emily’s time spent in sin city leads her to starting the hotel with the Dino chick to hinder the overpopulation in hell (jk she just really wants to see heaven)

So Emily is the heir to a stolen kingdom

Lucifer still has Charlie in heaven and she fills Emily’s role of keeping everyone happy. In this swap he shelters Charlie for any hardships or even having her work for anything, so Charlie is a nepotism baby (in the normal show Charlie went no contact with her dad and built the hotel ground up) her job is to keep everyone joyful!

Charlie is ignorant to the horrors

Vaggie and lute are a little harder to explain cuz I still have no real idea how to approach making lute a sinner cuz uhh.. she already is one. I do know I wanna keep her antennae bangs…Pink to blue….Bug motif…Transition allegory?? You decide

Lute will probably have butler butch vibes, she’s very servant like

But! I see vaggie getting to second in command and becoming a beast. The most ruthless demon slayer ever man, she fights the biggest demons she can find just for the fun of it. She still bulks up (you can take buff vaggie from my cold dead hands)!! She is assigned to protect the arch angel Charlie from quote…

“naughty individuals” -Lucifer (he means Adam)

Their dynamic is very silly, vaggie has to keep Charlie safe from things like assassins, perverts, technology and a goose. We all know that lute struck vaggie down cuz she was gay right? Well that still happens, but vaggie wins the fight (also being egged on by Adam) and ever since she’s looked for a fight so bad she ends up joining lute (warriors bond and all that)

EMILY IS A LAWYER HAHAHAHAHHA AND A BUTCH

Basically she wants to change the heaven standard the lawful way (sera was a court judge after all) think musicals like legally blond, that one Hamilton song, and the death note musical.

She and Charlie get along well enough, it does gag Emily when she finds out that Charlie doesn’t know what a minimum wage job is.

Ok so the main cast gets swapped with the over lords as you can see, the overlords I chose now look much younger, tho carmilla and Rosie are my milfs forever. Velvet is now an intern trying to get out of hell (she hates the heat) vox is now kinda just an obsessive fan boy, carmilla wants to go to heaven to see her daughters again. That Dino chick is the first guest, Emily wants to tame her inner fire (girl style)

Emily has always wanted to see the garden of Eden, so when she comes up with a way to redeem sinners she hopes to visit heaven with them! I’m gonna doodle around with her demon bits,

THATS IT FOR NOW

Will maybe post more

[marsprincess889]

Vedic astro mini post

Cow Yoni (Uttara Phalguni and Uttara Bhadrapada) trope

In my astro observations post, I said that their dynamic is enemies to lovers and I provided some examples. I'm gonna go further into that.

Not only does their love story involve a physical fight scene, but it also involves a dance, both being full of tension.

Uttara Phalguni is the second sun ruled nakshatra, beggining in Leo and most of it being in Virgo. It's mostly concerned with relationships and defining their identity through their relationships/popularity. People tend to naturally like them and they don't have to do anything, they're just likeable like that. Uttara Phalguni is the "star of patronage".

Uttara Bhadrapada is the last saturn ruled nakshatra, being opposite Uttara Phalguni and all of it being in the sign of Pisces. It's concerned with finding a solid, stable footing in life and doing that the only correct way: through honesty, bravery, hard work, strength and perserverence. It's the "warrior star".

It's not hard to see why they might be at odds. Their rulers_ Sun and Saturn are natural enemies, they're opposite each other, they're both stable nakshatras, they're both warrior caste, they want the same thing but go for it in very different ways. They're also very obviously meant for each other.

Example 1, The Mask of Zorro

Catherine Zeta-Jones (Uttara Phalguni sun and ketu, Uttara Bhadrapada moon)

Antonio Banderas (Uttara Bhadrapada moon)

I know they're both UBh moon but since Catherine has her sun AND ketu in Uttara Phalguni, I think that that in this movie that's the energy she's supposed to be representing, to be the polarity to Antonio's UBh moon.

They have a flirty sword fight AND a dance full of tension. If you haven't watched this movie I don't know what you've been doing lol.

Example 2, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Lily James (Uttara Bhadrapada moon)

Sam Riley (Uttara Phalguni moon)

This adaptation of pride and prejudice is the only one where both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are both cow yonis, and this one also has physical fights, a lot of them. When Mr. Darcy first proposes, Elizabeth becomes so angry that they physically fight with each other. Also, what's a regency movie without a dance scene? They also have one. Obviously, they're in love, but their stubbornness won't let them admit that they might even like each other. Both nakshatras being of stable nature and warrior caste, they REALLY defend their ground like no other nakshatra.

Example 3, The Great

Elle Fanning (Uttara Phalguni moon)

Nicholas Hoult (Uttara Bhadrapada moon)

In this adaptation of Catherine the Great's life she's a young girl with dreams and passion, eager to meet her future husband_ the young king Peter. She arrives with full intention of being the nicest, best wife possible(which is a very uttara phalguni trope), but upon truly seeing the state of Russia and trying but failing to like her eventual husband, she gets the idea of overthrowing him. Obviously, ultimately, no one wins that battle because they unwillingly fall in love with each other, through endless threats and misunderstandings, they realize that they've always had their common ground.

In all these stories, fighting is a natural expression of love and is weirdly mixed with it. In real life, cow yoni people are some of the most (if not the most) endearing people I know, they won't waste their time with you if they think that you're not worth it. If they fight with you, that means that they think there's hope for improvement. I'm saying this as Uttara Phalguni ascendant, I will distance myself from anyone I don't like without them even knowing about it, but I can be very stubborn with people close to me. I've also had the dynamic I mentioned with Uttara Bhadrapadas, no matter how much we fight, I ultimately love them.

So, if you have them in your life, it's good to know what I just said 😅.

EDIT: So I was rewatching Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I realized that the dance scene was deleted 😭 oh, well, you can watch it on youtube.

If you're cow yoni or if you know them, let me know if this is true for you. Don't forget to interact with me, COMMENT, like, reblog, anything.

Take care🤍

[solarwonux]

Business Proposal || knj (2/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst, namjoon is pretty much not the nicest dude lol (will add more as it progresses), kinda sugar daddy au but not really. It will make sense I promise.

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 9k

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

a/n: Hello, this is longer than I expected it to be, but anything to get the story moving. LMK your thoughts and if you want to be added to the tallest! Enjoy!

m.list

prev || next 

“I thought you stopped smoking.”

Jungkook jumps at the sound of your voice, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. The burning cigarette in between his index and middle finger. He opens his mouth to say something, but decides against it and closes it, shaking his head. He looks out into the backyard, and takes another puff of his almost gone cigarette.

You sigh and go to stand next to him, leaning against the porch railing as you stare out into the same backyard. Silently wishing it was Spring again. Mrs. Jeon and Lia’s backyard always felt magical. Filled with flowers and greenery that always made it feel like a dream. But in the winter months it was barren and depressing. Nothing exciting grows except for the Lenten Roses in a pot next to the last porch step.

“Bad habits die hard.” He shrugs, taking another puff. “You should know.” He looks over at you, blowing out the cloud of smoke in your face.

You cough, fanning the cloud away. “You’re an ass.”

“Sometimes you ask for it.” He shrugs, throwing the white stick on the ground and squashing it with his boot. “Shouldn’t you be inside, gushing about wedding dresses and invitations with mom, while dad kisses Namjoon’s feet for once again being the perfect son.”

He stuffs his hands into the pocket of his pants. You sigh, coming to stand next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. “Don’t be like that.” You whisper. “You’re lightyears a better person than your brother.”

His chest shakes with a humorless laugh. He has the urge to push you away but you’ve always been the only one with the ability to see through the perfectly curated images he and his brother have built over the years. “It’s always the same. I’m always the degenerate, the one who broke the rules growing up while Namjoon followed them. I’m the one who dropped out of college but he’s automatically the better son because he didn’t, and is now working on his PHD. While I work at a small flower shop, with a freelance photography job on the side. I’m the leech they can’t seem to get rid off.” He lets out a shaky sigh before pushing himself away.

“Jungkook d–”

“No, don’t say anything because you’re helping him knowing very well what he’s done to you. You’re feeding into what they want, and you can tell me it’s to benefit yourself. But how many times did I offer to help you pay out your student loans? How many times did I offer to help you find a better job? And you never took it because you wanted to do it yourself and I respected that boundary. But now that he comes back and offers you the same things with an added marriage proposal on top. You suddenly decide to take up on the offer.” He rants, running a tattooed hand through his long hair. “It fucking sucks because I know he’s going to hurt you and I don’t know if I can be there for you when he does because even if I have never had any sort of romantic feelings for you. I do love you and it hurt so much seeing you so broken and not being able to do anything about it.” He paces, invisibly mapping out the situation with his hands.

“And I can’t even fully hate him either because he is my brother and not many people understand our relationship but I know he loves me. He just has this weird ass way of showing it, and if he hurts you again, I’ll be put in the middle and I don’t want that because I can’t leave you alone and I can’t leave him alone either.” He breathes out, dropping his head feeling defeated.

It’s everything he wanted to tell you yesterday at the flower shop, but he didn’t want Yoongi to see him like this. Truthfully he wasn’t going to let you know either, but seeing the happiness on his parents' faces made him feel more bitter than usual.

You walk to stand in front of him, placing your hands on top of his shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Jungkook clicks his tongue in annoyance before shaking his head in disbelief. “I know a part of you still loves him and I know that part will fall for him the second he starts acting like the old Namjoon again. I can’t stop you and I can’t stop him either.”

“You out of all people know that I’m not the same person I was then and you know why. You’re right the person that loved him is still inside here but she knows better. I won’t fall for him the way I did then and what happened that night won’t happen again.” You say, hugging him tightly again. “I appreciate you worrying about me, but I can take care of myself.” You whisper, rubbing his back lightly.

He sighs, finally hugging you back and kissing the top of your head gently. “I wish it was Jimin instead.” He adds, making you laugh a bit at the end. That was a whole new can of worms you didn’t want to get into.

At least not now at your fake fiance's parents house.

“I was scared.” He admits, burying his head into your neck. “When you called me and told me to pick you up in tears. I honestly never wanted to kill anyone more than I did that night.” He whispers. You blink away the tears forming in your eyes. Jungkook’s never been honest with you about what he felt that night. You never asked because you were scared of knowing the truth. And now that he’s voiced it you can’t help but feel your heart break all over again.

“I’m sorry, I did–”

“No, don’t be sorry it’s not your fault that he–”

“Am I interrupting something?” Namjoon’s curiosity breaks the two of you apart in an instant. Quickly you wipe away the fallen tears from your cheeks. You step away further from Jungkook while he does the same, avoiding eye contact with the older man as if you’ve been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to.

Namjoon has always had a wild imagination, hence his profession of choice. And right now his imagination is running him up a road he knows he shouldn’t go down. He had been looking for you for at least fifteen minutes, and when he heard your voice along with Jungkook’s voice coming through the patio screen door. He couldn’t think straight, especially not after hearing his little brother be so vulnerable, but he also couldn’t help but wonder what else the two of you were talking about.

As far as he’s concerned the infamous fight between the two of you happened in your old bedroom. Your parents were out on a date and he had come over so you could look over one of his essays. He left your house in a hurry, getting on his bike and pedaling as fast as he could to get away from your house with his heart pounding against his throat.

Had you gone somewhere else after?

Now, he needed to know, only because his curiosity would not let him forget until he knew. It was one of his fatal flaws. Probably the most annoying one.

“Um, I know you came with Kook but it would be weird now if you left with him.” He too feels weird, especially because the two of you looked like you’ve just stolen three cookies out of the jar before dinner. He hates it, it only feeds the little curious demon inside of him. “I have to be somewhere at five so I came to tell you that I’ll take you home but we have to leave in like fifteen minutes to beat the traffic.” He nods, scratching the back of his neck before taking a look between the two of you, and it suddenly hits him like a truck.

Wait, were the two of you secretly seeing each other. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Wait, but what about that Jimin guy? Hold on, were you seeing the of them at the same time, hol–

“It’s fine we are done here.” Jungkook looks over at you, giving you a smile to ease your overwhelming anxiety, and walks to the entrance, patting Namjoon’s arm before heading inside.

There’s a pregnant pause between the two of you, before you decide that it’s been long enough for you to go back inside too. Before you even get the chance to move, Namjoon speaks up, burning his stare into yours.

“Are you seeing each other?” He voices out, finally giving in. He regrets it because the look on your face makes him realize that he’s said the wrong thing.

“You’ve been saying a lot of stupid shit lately.” You shake your head, taking it as your sign to leave. If you have to be in a car with him for an hour. You might as well save your energy. His genetic material is full of nonsense. “I’ll wait for you inside.” You say walking in and leaving him alone in the barren patio.

He can’t help but wonder about a lot of things. All of them start and end with you.

Namjoon is driving.

It’s a view you never thought you would ever see. Back when the two of you were friends he had very strong opinions about driving. The one time you asked after he showed up at the coffee shop drenched in rain water.

He said, “The world will be better without me on the road.” He laughed running off to ask the workers for a towel.

“What?” Namjoon says after stopping at a red light and looking over at you. One eyebrow raised.

“Nothing, it’s just strange.” You shrug. “I never thought I’d see you driving.” You point out, watching as the red light turns green. He steps on the gas, making a smooth right turn and glances over at you. A smirk painted on his features.

“I got tired of biking everywhere.” He says, leaning his right arm on the middle counsel. “This is also more convenient than asking JK to drive me everywhere when it rains or snows.”

You nod looking out the window. “What happened to priding yourself in having a small carbon footprint and world peace or whatever?”

Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head “I still bike most of the time just not to moms house or when it rains. As for the world peace thing. I don’t think being off the roads will stop wars.” He pulls the car to a stop and looks over at you again. Now that the two of you are alone he can’t help but think that maybe you did get a little prettier than what he remembers. Though you still don’t compare to all the women he’s ever dated. Most of them being nepo babies or supermodels. You’re still quite attractive, maybe in another life he wouldn’t have thought twice about sharing a life with you. But you still weren’t the woman of his dreams. Though, the more he navigates through life he’s realizing that such a person simply doesn’t exist.

If they did he wouldn’t be here in the car with you.

“Oh,” you jump up as if you just remembered something important. And before Namjoon can begin to understand what was happening the light turns green again and he’s pressing on the gas pedal. “I forgot to give this to you.” You say, holding out your hand in his view of sight with his mothers ring.

“Keep it.” He says without missing a beat. You’re shocked and you’re about to fight against him, but he beats you to it. “We’re going to be spending lots of time together. It’d be weird if you didn’t wear it when we’re together.” He reasons. It makes sense but you hated every second that passed by in which you had it on.

In a few months it wouldn’t be yours anymore. Plus it just felt wrong to be wearing it knowing it will someday go to someone else.

“You can just keep it and then when we go to places together, just give it to me.” You nudge his arm with your open hand. He glances down at it before looking out to the road.

“No need, you’ll be moving in anyway.” He nonchalantly says, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn’t drop another bomb on you.

Moving in?

This whole deal was taking turns that you didn’t expect. You knew he offered you a house in which you honestly weren’t going to take. But you didn’t think you’d be moving in with him. From what Jungkook tells you his apartment is more of a museum than a home. And you like your little apartment. It was perfect for one person, it had everything you needed and it was close to two subway stations. It was absolutely perfect and the rent wasn’t crazy expensive.

Rent.

That’s another thing to take into consideration. Would he make you pay for rent if you did by some miracle agree to moving in, because you’re more than positive you wouldn’t be able to afford it. Not now with your passable income from the flower shop. Of course, that chapter of your life will soon come to an end, but even working as a professor in your prestigious alma mater wouldn’t be enough to pay whatever crazy amount his rent is.

“Hold on, that wasn’t in our deal.” You close your hand in a fist and bring it down onto your lap turning your entire body to face him.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. “The cats out of the bag what would people think when they figure out we are engaged but not living together.” He pulls up into the parking lot of your apartment building and puts the car in park. He turns his entire body to face you, one hand gripping onto the steering wheel. “I don’t think you understand how crazy mom can be. She will be over unannounced every other day now that she knows we’re getting married. It’s best to avoid all those questions because they can get invasive.” He states, turning off the engine and opening up his door. He looks over at you. “I can’t stay long but I’ll walk you to your door.”

You were beginning to get annoyed with how nonchalant he was acting about all of this. For a person who claims this was all fake he seemed to be trying his hardest to make it seem as real as possible. You’re starting to wonder if you should set up some ground rules first before you make such a serious decision.

What if you do move in? When all this is over what will happen to you?

You have no doubt in your mind that he will kick you out the second he gets tired of this scheme. You have no doubt in your mind that he will begin to act like this never happened. It is what he does best. He crosses boundaries and when you make it known he acts like he didn’t and that you were in the wrong the entire time.

It’s what happened then, but this time it will be different. This time you’re determined to keep your guard up as high as a skyscraper. This time you won’t fall for his smile, his charm, his laugh or his heart. This time you’re going to put yourself first and to be able to do that you need to have a serious conversation. Set some ground rules before you can continue anything else.

“Namjoon, wait.” You say as he’s getting out of the car. He rounds the front and opens the passenger door for you.

“What, I need to be somewhere in fifteen minutes, let’s go.” He rushes out looking down at his Rolex then you.

You get down from his car, stepping to the side as he closes the door. “We need to talk about this.” You use your pointer finger to single the space between the two of you.

He lets out an annoyed sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We will, but not today. We can have lunch next Wednesday after you come in for training.”

“Namjoon I just don’t think you understand. You’re making all these choices without getting my opinion first. I understand you want your parents to believe that we are actually engaged. And I understand that you have a lot left to lose. But you’re not the only one in this. I get to have say in this too and I–”

Namjoon holds his hand out to your face, blocking your words from coming out. “I get it and believe me I would love to talk about it because we have a lot of things to discuss but I really can’t today. I have a dinner meeting with a coworker and I need to pick her up in—” he looks down at his watch and up, “-in ten minutes.” He finishes and starts walking in front of you.

A dinner meeting? On a Sunday? With another woman?

You don’t want to be that person. You firmly do believe that men and women are able to be friends without anything romantic and sexual happening between them. But he’s acting a little bit suspicious and you can’t help but wonder if he’s going out on a date.

God, you’re so annoyed it’s honestly becoming very tiring. And you’ve only been fake engaged for a few hours. You can’t begin to imagine what the next months will be like or for however long he plans to keep up the scheme.

He calls out your name. He’s standing in front of your building entrance, snapping his fingers to hurry you up.

“I’m not a dog.” You roll your eyes, and push past him. You press the button to the automatic door and hold your hand out before he can take another step. “And I don’t need an escort.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“And you’re going to be late for your date.” You state stepping inside, leaving him floored with your little outburst. He wants to follow you and tell you a few choice words, but the ringing of his phone keeps him from pressing the button again.

He can talk to you another day. Right now you’re right about one thing. He is late. Even if it’s not a date like you have just assumed. He hates being late to places.

In a relationship.

The little phrase next to yours and Namjoons name has been haunting you since you got the notification last night. Least to say you had not gotten a wink of sleep. You had messaged Namjoon asking him what it was all about. The two of you had not talked since Sunday and making your fake relationship official on Facebook for friends and family to see was definitely something you didn’t see him doing.

It had caught you by surprise. What surprised you the most was the comments underneath the status, offering you kind words and congratulations. The few “it's about time,” comments had set you off. You weren’t sure if it was because you were engaged or because the two of you were engaged to each other. It had your mind racing in all sorts of directions.

Yet, what really didn’t let you sleep was Taehyung’s messages and Jimin’s cryptic “it all makes sense now,” text you had woken up too.

Your fake fiance always prided in living a life away from the drama. And while he’s having a blast living a fantasy you were on the other end receiving nasty messages from your friends and what you assumed were women he had been with once upon a time.

It was all getting too much. You were supposed to be enjoying your last shift ever at Euphoria before you ventured off into the world for bigger and better things. But here you were blocking comments and ignoring Taehyung’s angry spam and Jimini’s nasty comments, with a knot at the base of your throat.

You’ve never hated Namjoon more than you did now. Since he was ignoring you, probably annoyed with your constant pleading to delete the status. You would have to wait until you saw him again next week to scream in his face.

What didn’t help was that Jungkook had called in sick, so you were stuck with the brooding owner, sending you a glare whenever he heard you sigh.

“Okay, out with it. What has you acting like the queen has died?” He cuts a stem off a rose, before placing it in the middle of a few baby breath branches.

You put your phone down, face down hoping it would somehow keep the notifications from coming. “First the queen has died. Second, Namjoon is so fucking annoying. I…ugh.” You let out a frustrated sigh. Probably the thousandth one of the day before putting your head in your head, cradling it.

The headache that you had woken up with after three restless hours of sleep was only growing to be worse. You hear the older man laugh before patting your back awkwardly. “I think this is the part in which Jungkook would be saying I told you so, but I still fully support you getting the bag you deserve, and unfortunately whatever he did is part of the consequences you just have to face.” He states proudly before retrieving his hand and going back to the bouquet he was working on.

You raise your head, hoping your glare would bury him six feet underneath the ground. “You’re no help sometimes. I don’t know why I even ask for your advice.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue before shaking his head, “You see that’s where you’re wrong. You didn’t ask for my advice. I’m just telling you the honest truth. Now if you can’t take it then you shouldn’t have accepted the deal in the first place.” He shrugs, wiping his hands on his apron before grabbing a pair of scissors. He goes to the ribbon wall behind him, taping his chin with the tip of them in thought.

“What did he do this time anyway?” He says getting a hold of a lavender one and measuring it before cutting it off.

You lift up your phone, opening it quickly and navigating yourself through the homescreen before clicking the bright blue app. “This! He did this without letting me know.” You extend your phone showing him the status.

He leans his head forward squinting his eyes before breaking out into a smile. “Congratulations, I knew the two of you would be perfect together.” He jokes, making you groan out in annoyance. He chuckles, cutting up some flower bouquet paper. “Jokes aside, that is an asshole move, but what else would we expect from the devil himself.” He says grabbing the bouquet and placing it in the middle of the pale pink paper. “You knew what you were signing up for.”

“Ugh, I know, I know, I know. I don’t need you to remind me.” You push yourself off the counter as soon as the bell to the shop dings signaling someone has walked in. “It’s the aftermath of his actions that’s sending me up the wall. I really ha–” You turn around putting your best customer service smile only for it to fade away the minute your eyes come into contact with ones you’ve grown up with.

The warmth they once held for you is gone, now replaced with stone cold anger.

“Jimin.”

“Do you want to explain to me what’s going on?” He pushes his way past you and walks to the aisle full of supplies. “Because the last time we talked you told me you weren’t ready to be in a relationship and as much as it hurt I respected that but now you’re here engaged. And to Namjoon?” He says exasperated. You follow him, thanking god the shop was empty because this wasn’t where you wanted to have this conversation.

You knew it would eventually come and you would have no other option but to have it. Yet, lately the world has been throwing curveballs at you left and right since Namjoon came back into your life. So, what else could you expect?

Plus Jimin has never been one to keep his emotions bottled up. It’s one of things you admire most about him. When he was angry he would voice it. When he was sad he would cry freely and explain why. And when he was happy and in love he had no shame in letting the whole world know. Which is why you couldn’t continue anything with him anymore. Even if he was the one that made you feel comfortable again in your body and encouraged you to explore things with him. You didn’t feel anything towards him other than friendship. It’s not like you didn’t try. You did the moment you realized he had fallen for you months ago. It’s probably why you prolonged cutting things off with him, but you couldn’t do that to him anymore.

Not when he had verbally confessed and was giving you everything he should’ve been giving to someone who didn’t view him as more than a friend. The two of you should’ve listened to everyone who said it was a bad idea, but both of you were stubborn. That’s something you aren’t afraid to admit. Unfortunately the decision the two of you made almost a year ago was now coming back to bite the two of you in the ass. Though for some reason it felt like you were getting the shorter end of the stick with everything that had gone down in the last few days.

Maybe you were cursed?

“Min I can explain.” You whisper yell, reaching out to him. He retracts, throwing his hands up and steps away from you.

“No, I don’t need you to explain anything to me. I saw what that man did to you and you went back to him after cutting things off with me.” He spits out, venom laced in his voice as he cards a shaky hand through his already messy hair. He stops for a second biting his bottom lip and looks over at you.

“Were you seeing him while we were together? Were you with me when he couldn’t be with you? Because I can’t even begin to explain how fucked up that is. Especially for someone like you but I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.” He rants, his hands shaking as he finds somewhere to put them to hide the visible anger he is feeling inside.

“It’s not like that Min, please just let me explain.” You plead, taking cautious steps closer to him. Gripping your apron tightly to keep yourself from crying. This is why you admired your oldest friend for the longest time. He wore his heart on his sleeve whereas you couldn’t let yourself cry in fear of looking pitiful and weak.

He takes one final look at you before shaking his head. “No, I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to stay out of my life.” He says before walking past you, bumping your shoulder with his and walking out.

This is what you feared the most. Losing him. You did have the intention of telling him what was happening when the time was right. This whole situation with Namjoon wasn’t something you ever intended on keeping a secret from both him and Taehyung, but of course you could never walk at your own pace.

For as long as you can remember nobody ever let you march to the beat of your own drum. Everyone around you always forced you to act whenever it was suitable for them. And right now as much as you were at fault too, you couldn’t help but blame Namjoon and his impatience.

Every day that went by, you realize how much this was inconveniencing you rather than benefiting you like you had originally thought.

“Now, I think this is the part in which Jungkook would say I told you so.” Yoongi speaks out from behind you.

You roll your eyes, shake your head and send him a glare. In a haste you untie your apron and rip it off. “I quit.” You say walking past the counter and throwing the fabric onto it.

Yoongi shrugs, trying his best to give you a reassuring smile in which it looks like he’s in pain instead. “Impossible when you only had five more minutes left of your final shift.”

That’s the last thing you hear him say before walking into the back and finally letting your tears fall down.

You’ve had your fair share of heartbreaks in the past.

When you were five you had your first boyfriend–Paul. A blooming relationship that lasted merely three days. On the first day of school he gave you a note with a poorly drawn flower and “I love you” written in the center. In his best five year old handwriting. On the second day he kissed you in the line on the way to Spanish class–dared by his best friend–Pedro. And on the last day, he played with you on the playground but on the way back to class he was holding hands with another girl.

Your first heartbreak.

Then you embarrassingly harbored a crush on him for three years after. In fifth grade–Christian had stolen your heart as soon as you saw his crooked smile and overly slicked back hair, but of course he had picked the prettier and meaner girl in class–Yuni.

Your second heartbreak.

Though, the infatuation didn’t last long, you forgot about him as soon as you entered middle school.  But you remember your heart beating out of time when you saw him at Sunday school. You were in seventh grade. Your body was changing. You felt awkward as hell listening to a sermon while fantasizing what it would be like to hold his hand.

When you were fifteen on the other hand. All hell broke loose.

You fell out of love with a lot of firsts in your life, and everything felt so black and white. Things that made you happy. That you viewed as pillars slowly started fading away. It started with ballet, then it trickled down to your studies. You didn’t feel like doing anything, your feelings were confusing and you felt angry with everything and everyone around you. To add the cherry on top your crush of possibly four years broke your heart–Jung Hoseok.

He was perfect. He was tan, tall, and handsome. He had a beautiful smile with moony eyes. He was funny and smart and loved to dance. You had met him during your first dance practice back in seventh grade. All it took was a smile, a wink and a killer freestyle for you to fall head over heels for him. He was nice, he sat with you during lunch whenever Taehyung and Jimin had a different one. He helped you out with your math homework and he even cracked jokes about your favorite boy band at the time. He would ask you about your day and make sure you didn’t skip your meals.

Jimin and Taehyung were so tired hearing you yap about him twenty four seven and so they offered to help you out. The three of you came up with a plan on how to confess to him, but all of that went down the drain one Wednesday afternoon.

The tears didn’t start falling when you saw the self proclaimed bad boy holding hands with one of the popular girls from school–Harley. They came after when you ran out of the dance studio because Of course it had to be her. God had blessed her with the perfect genes. The perfect hair, the perfect smile, the perfect body, and she was a way better dancer than you. She was beautiful and you were a colorless painting next to her that lacked detail. You had acne on your forehead, and even if you had ditched the contacts and braces a year prior. Your hair was still frizzy, and your body wasn’t desirable. Your boobs were practically non-existent, your hips were too wide and your stomach wasn’t flat

It sucked because you seriously thought he could’ve been it. He had been it for a while. You pulled back. Curating a home in a fantasy world, caging your heart in. Despite your friends being protective over you like a little sister. Their protection was nothing compared to how locked up you had your heart. That is until you met Kim Namjoon–and that also ended in a disaster. After that you didn’t give a fuck, you let men come and go. Use you for their needs until one night you awoke from your slumber. Sadly it had already been too late.

Jimin was there to repair you brick by brick. He helped you rediscover yourself in more ways than one. He helped you feel comfortable in your body. Something that was so foreign to you it took lots of trial and error. Yet, you broke him.

Despite all the heartbreak you have experienced in your life. This had to be the one that hurt the most, because you hurt him, and nothing you do will ever bring him back to you.

All because you wanted to have the upper hand.

This is why you disliked Kim Namjoon. Just like he brought you back to life he had dulled you at the same time. He made you feel special but at the same time ordinary; and because of him–though it wasn’t his entire fault you were equally to blame–you had lost one of the most important people in your life.

In honor of such event you had been avoiding the world for the entirety of three days. On the fourth day–today–you had finally forced yourself out of bed.

It was your first day of training at your new job which meant you were going to be in the same room with your nemesis AKA your fake fiance. Listening to him brag about how much better he is at everything.

Everything was a shit show.

You purposely took the longer route, hoping it would work calming you down. The Cherry Blossoms were finally blooming, signaling the end of a bitter winter and the birth of a new chapter in your life. You had hoped that Jimin and Taehyung would have been here for the ride, after you explained everything. You didn’t get the chance too and now the two of them were acting as if there wasn’t a decade of memories between the two of you.

Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your hot pink slacks. You weren’t going to be teaching yet, just observing some classes and following Namjoon around while he condescendingly explained what your life would be like as a University Professor.

Are you close? - N

You rolled your eyes at the message. You had been scheduled to come in at ten-thirty. It was ten on the dot and he was already rushing you. You begin to wonder if this is what it was going to be like the entire time the two of you will be together.

Don’t forget to wear your ring, we’re going to mom’s for dinner tonight. - N

The annoyed sigh made its way out of you before you could stop it. You hope that it won’t always be like this. Him making plans for you without consulting you first. Or him outing the relationship is such an irresponsible way without letting you know. If he was going to make every single decision for you, then you will call things off. You had taken the entirety of your night writing down a list of demands in order for you to continue things.

Well it was more of a list of things that annoyed you about him. A list in which you only hoped the two of you could come to a compromise. You don’t want to change him. Mostly because he is stubborn and doesn’t see anything wrong with himself no matter how many times people close to him have mapped it out for him. He won’t turn the other way keeping his ground. All you want to do is meet in the middle for however long he wants to keep this charade up.

One of my TAs  is waiting for you at the front of the building. I’m assuming you know the way. She will show you around and I will meet you for lunch. Don’t be late. - N

The third text came in making you grip your phone tightly in your hand. Even when he wasn’t around he somehow manages to make you want to scream out in anger.

I’m five minutes away.

You reply, putting your phone away and ignoring the last text he sends you. You will not let him ruin your last few minutes of freedom.

Eunseo is amazing.

She immediately greeted you in high spirits and complemented your hot pink blazer and slacks combo. And offered to carry around your bag because to her it seemed too heavy, but you refused.

Despite having attended HYBE U almost a decade ago. It hadn’t changed much. There were a few new buildings to compensate for the enrollment capacity, and a carpark where dorms used to be. But other than those slight changes nothing had changed. Even the large field in between the common hall and the dorms was still the same. The trees always bloomed beautifully in the Spring. Though you couldn’t ignore the pang you felt in your chest while walking through the field with Eunseo as she talked about her classes and how much she looked up to Mr. Kim.

This was where you found out you were in love with Namjoon all those years ago. It was Fall, the foliage was at its peak and the leaves were just starting to fall down. The two of you had decided to meet here instead of the cafe that day to enjoy the weather a little more before it turned gray. There was a particularly strong wind and the leaves came rustling down landing on the two of you making the both of you laugh. The sun was shining in the most perfect way possible, his skin glowed underneath it and something inside of you turned.

That day all you could do was think about him. You fell asleep dreaming about his smile and woke up expecting his scent to cloud over you like a blanket.

It was so beautiful yet tragic and you had never turned back since then.

That is until he turned on you.

With the way Eunseo was describing him. You could almost picture him being the same way he was when he tutored you. According to Eunseo he was funny, kind and really cared about his students. He always went out of his way to explain the material in ways his students could understand, and listened to everybody’s opinion extensively. But he also challenged them and pushed them to work harder.

He loved his job and profession more than anything in the world. It’s something you always did admire about him. Even on late nights or when the stress was too much for him to handle. He always found a way to look at it in a different light. For some time you had wished he would’ve done that with you when you confessed your feelings to him. That night he was someone you had never known. It was like something switched off inside of him and he became the heartless jackass you’ve come to know about in recent years.

“You’re very lucky. He will be such an amazing husband.” Eunseo said bringing out of your long train of thought. You stopped dead in your tracks, surprised as she giggled at your reaction.

“H-How do you know.” You clear your throat, bringing your hand up to your chest and playing with the little aquamarine pendant you never take off.

“He told me before I went down to meet with you.” She shrugs, grabbing onto the straps of her backpack. “Don’t worry he’s only told me and I don’t have many friends to tell. So your secret’s safe with me.” She winks turning around and skipping away.

You shake your head and follow her trying to keep up as best as you can. Maybe wearing heels wasn’t the brightest idea, but it was your first day on the job. You need to make a good impression on your future co-workers. In which you hadn’t met yet, but you assumed it was because Namjoon would be the one to introduce you and he was currently in a lecture.

You jump when you hear your name being called from across the field. You turn around quickly as Namjoon makes his way to you. His beige trench coat blowing in the wind. The combination of his nike’s, light blue jeans, and airy button down shirt was more casual than what you expected. Even his hair wasn’t styled. He looked stress free or a normal person.

“Mr. Kim, I have taken care of her and now I am returning her to you in one piece. Just like you instructed.” Eunseo says from beside you. You look over at her. She’s wearing such a bright smile on her face. Her proudness over such a nimble task makes you chuckle. A moment you will never forget now because it’s made you realize how much you desire to inspire someone.

The same way Namjoon has inspired her.

“Thanks Eunseo.” Namjoon replies once he gets closer, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his coat. He looks you up and down, raising his brows before turning over to his student. “This doesn’t mean you’re getting extra credit or an extension on your next paper.”

“It was worth the shot.” She smiles, sending him finger guns making him laugh. She turns to face you, “It was so nice to meet you Mrs. Kim, I’ll be sure to keep on the lookout for your class next semester.” She says giving you an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I’ll see you in class Mr. Kim.” She finishes before turning around and heading down the path leading to the library.

“She’s not going to turn in her paper on time.” Namjoon says from next to you shaking his head. “But she’s one of my best students. Somehow her papers always manage to impress me even if I threaten to take away a whole letter grade for every late paper. It somehow motivates her to do even better and I can’t.” He sighs and looks over at you. “Did you find everything okay, I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you. I told the office to schedule you after my classes today but they refused. Even being head of a department has very little perks.”

You look around quickly to see if anybody was around. There were a few students making their way to classes but each of them were engrossed with their phones or notes or conversations amongst themselves. They weren’t paying any attention to the two of you. So, he didn’t have to act so nice. “You’re so strange.” You comment, widening your eyes and covering your mouth as quickly as possible.

Namjoon rolls his eyes before sticking his hand out for you to take. “And you’re so nice.” He retaliates. The slight pang of bitterness slicing through his words. You almost feel relieved that he was still in there somewhere.

“Thanks, you bring out the best in me.” You take his hand, watching as he interlaced your fingers with his, forcefully pulling you to walk.

“Whatever, let’s just go to lunch. I’m starving. We can talk about things then.”

Okay you take it back. HYBE U was definitely still not the same.

There was a whole dining hall with the bougiest restaurants that you one hundred percent would not have been able to afford when you were a student here. You assume that’s why it’s pretty empty, except for a few faculty.

Namjoon and you had been sitting in silence since the two of you sat down after ordering. Your mouth almost fell open when you saw an avocado toast for almost twenty dollars. Thankfully Namjoon had offered to pay. Now the two of you were waiting for your overpriced food in complete silence. You weren’t sure what to say if you were honest.

Hey thanks for the job, you're still an asshole though.

Or

My best friends hate me because you ruined my life and now they think that what we have is real because you decided to make it official on Facebook. And like who uses Facebook anyway you old man.

In the end you settle for the nice quiet, listening to the ambience around you until your food arrives. The waiter carefully places your plates in the middle of the table and the two of you quietly thank him. Then Namjoon clears his throat, grabbing your attention.

“I usually bring my own lunch but I like this place whenever I forget to cook.” He cuts the toast in half and puts one of them on your plate, and makes sure you get a piece of avocado too.

“You cook?” You tilt your head to the side, picking up your utensils and poking the soft egg in the middle, letting the yolk run.

Namjoon nods, placing some pasta on your plate. “Jin taught me a couple years ago.” He hands you a napkin and starts filling up his plate. You have no idea who this Jin guy is. Namjoon says his name as if you’re supposed to know already, but you’re curious. Namjoon was a genius but he was a complete incompetent buffoon in the kitchen. You can’t explain how many times you witnessed him and Jungkook fighting in front of you whenever you were over their house because he always burned the simplest things. It would stink up the kitchen and Jungkook would lose it because he always lost at rock paper scissors and ended up being the one to clean the kitchen.

“Who’s Jin?” You wipe your mouth, and take a bite of the pasta humming in delight. Maybe the price of the food was worth it.

“He owns the gym Kook and I go too. He sometimes comes over, you’ll meet him soon.” He clarifies.

You nod, letting the silence consume the two of you once again because what else are you supposed to say. Instead you just take another bite of your food.

Maybe if you prayed hard enough, Jungkook would waltz in and break the awkward air looming between the two of you. Of course you had things to say to him, but how were you supposed to bring it up if the conversation wasn’t going down the route.

“Kook’s mad isn’t he?” Namjoon puts down his fork and takes a sip of his water. “I saw him at the gym last night and he almost beat the shit out of me.” He chuckles like it’s no big deal.

“He’s not the only one.” You retort, reaching into your bag and taking out a sheet of notebook paper in a plastic sleeve and place it on the table. Not the most professional looking thing but you were short on time.

“Lo–” Namjoon starts, you assume he’s going to defend himself and his actions. But he doesn’t get very far because you immediately cut him off.

“No, I understand you want everybody to believe whatever this is.” You say pointing between the two of you. “But there’s not just one person in this act. You can’t keep making choices without consulting me first. The brunch was fine. I was able to come up with something on the spot. But the moving in is not, nor is the fucking Facebook status or telling your student or the dinner we have with your mom tonight.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes, “It’s a stupid status is not a big deal.” He takes a bite of pasta. The nonchalance in his demeanor causes the anger you had somehow managed to push away resurface once again.

“It is a big deal Namjoon. Because of that stupid status, neither Jimin or Taehyung are talking to me. You didn’t give me the chance to tell them and finding out through the internet is a pretty shitty thing.” You try to reason. He pokes his cheek with his tongue and crosses his arms.

“Isn’t Jimin the guy you were with at the party? You two were pretty close.”

“He was my best friend. But because of your actions he’s cut off all communication with me.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing the two of you aren’t friends anymore. He looked pretty comfortable touching you at Taehyung’s place.” He says looking around then you. Yeah, you’re adding this to the list of dumbshit he says. Hopefully by the end of this you’ll be able to publish a whole book.

“Are you listening to yourself?” You say tapping your ears. “You sound so dumb right now.” You shake your head, suddenly losing your appetite. He does bring out the worst in you, and you’re beginning to regret ever saying yes in the first place. “Jimin and I used to fuck and sure things were a little rocky between us since the night of the party. But I still care for him. He's still someone important to me and you’re not respecting that. You outed our relationship to the whole world without consulting me first and you keep doing shit without asking if I am okay with it.”

“It sounds like you’re just looking for someone to blame instead of owning up to whatever you did to your precious Jimin.” He shrugs, digging into his avocado toast. You truly want to dump his iced americano all over his head, but your hushed voices are getting a bit louder and people are starting to take notice.

“You’re completely missing the point. This isn’t about me or Jimin’s relationship. This is about you not willing to see that in order for this to continue you need to include me in big decisions like that. I am my own person Namjoon. I have a life outside of this, and you can’t just expect me to stop it and be at your mercy whenever you need me. What if I had plans tonight?”

“Then you cancel them. This is important.”

“Fucking hell, are you not listening to me. I honestly have no idea how to explain this to you in an easier way or without sounding like a broken record. I’m not a doll Namjoon, you can’t wind me up when you need me. I am a fucking human being and you’re not treating me like one. If this continues I will literally call this whole shit off.”  You pick up your fork and forcefully shove some pasta in your mouth.

“You can’t do that. You promised.” He accuses with his finger, furrowing his brows in anger.

You roll your eyes and swallow. “Just like you, I can also break promises.” You shrug before sliding your forgotten list towards him. “These are my rules, if you can’t follow them then I swear  Namjoon I’ll call your mom and tell her everything, and it would totally suck I mean this job seems to be amazing.” You threaten crossing your arms in front of you.

He huffs, snatching the list from the table and reading them. This time you welcome the silence as you wait for him to finish. After what seems like his third run through he puts the list down again, your bubbly handwriting makes his head hurt a little. He could never understand why you always wrote in colorful pens and marked your i’s with hearts.

In his opinion it was overrated and you were a full grown adult, not a toddler.

“You can’t expect to change me. This isn’t forever.” He says like he’s reminding you. Despite you being his fake fiance he never really assumed you would expect him to remain monogamous. He was still a man with needs and he refused to touch you in that way.

“I’m not asking you too. I’m asking you to meet me in the middle and respect me a little more. I know you hate me but I’m not your biggest fan either. Yet, I agreed to this and I am here.”

He tugs his bottom lip in between his teeth in thought. He stares into his plate of food for what seems like hours. He could do that. Maybe things won’t be so unbearable if the two of you were just walking side by side rather than on opposite ends. He also can’t deny that you’re a little right, this was harder than he assumed. You are definitely not the pliant girl he knew once. Maybe this version of you excites him a little, but of course he won’t ever admit that to anyone. He’s already having a hard time admitting it to himself. If you’re going to ask him to meet you in the middle with your annoying list of demands then he’s going to ask the same of you.

Eye for an eye.

“Fine, but only if you agree to move in with me.”

“That’s ridiculous. I don't understand why I can’t just be at my place. I mean you just said this wasn’t forever.” You mumble.

“Ahh then I guess I’ll just rip this up.” He says taking out your sheet of paper and holding it out in front of him ready to shred it.

You panic and hold your hand out to stop him. “Fuck fine, I’ll move in with you.”

“Perfect, I’ll clear out the guest bedroom this week and you can move in on Saturday.” He smirks, and resumes to his meal.

Once again he’s won, but you will find a way to have the upper hand one of these days. “This is so dumb I still don’t understand your reasoning.”

There’s a part of Namjoon that also doesn’t understand it. That part of him he’s pushed away for years. It’s the part of him that wants you there with him. It’s incredibly selfish. He’s aware he’s asking too much of you already, but he hopes having you in his home will give him an excuse to come home. Lately, he’s been tired of just his plants and artwork receiving him when he gets home.

Yet, that’s something he won’t ever admit out loud either.

“It just makes things easier.” He shrugs, shutting down the conversation. Leaving you to wonder if his actions have more meaning to them than his words.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Thinking about the transgender allegories that come with being a halfa. (Needing to hide your identity from the world, the government not respecting your autonomy as a person, only trusting your ghost half identity with very close friends and other members of the community)

Thinking about how Spectra weaponizing Danny's identity against himself, Skulker hunting him down for being what he is, and Walker's rules being as strict as they are and giving nobody any chance to learn them all feels like LGBT+ Community infighting metaphors.

ESPECIALLY Walker, and especially when combined with the genius headcanon that he is Maddie's dead dad because in that situation, Walker is the homophobic/transphobic man who spent his life fighting against these 'strange others' and when discovering that he's not as cishet as he thought, starts policing the community as a moral authority who's strict to an unobtainable degree.

Thinking of Skulktech's existence in general.

Thinking about how despite being told Ember and Skulker are a couple in canon, we never see much (if any) of their chemistry together. In theory, them being a couple could lead to an episode about them hunting Phantom down as a band/team as Ember's trying to engage in Skulker's hunting interest and Skulker's reciprocating by trying to engage in Ember's music interest, but we don't get anything like that.

Thinking about how all the cute couple stuff between them comes from phanon and in the show their relationship is more of an obligation. At best they're mutually bearding (Ember gains scary dog privilege with him to spook off the creepy fans and Skulker gets free seats to the shows of the most popular rockstar in the ghost zone), and at worst they're in an unhappy forced hetero-normative relationship.

Thinking about how Danny's arc going from fighting ghosts to working with them and deciding to be the bridge between the human world and the ghost world could be an allegory for him learning to love himself for what he is.

Thinking about how those transgender allegories also apply to Vlad on the grounds he himself is one.

Thinking about how we never even see or hear about Vlad's biological family outside of an off-mention about a sister he might not even have. "If anyone asks, you're my sister's cat".

Thinking about how Vlad and Danny are thematic opposites despite being the (former) only two of their kind, how Vlad has everything but the family he wants so badly and how we're proven time and time again that when the chips are down and when it comes to it, Jack and Maddie always love and accept Danny and his ghost half.

Thinking... Did Vlad get disowned from his family for being what he is?

Also with all of these thoughts, Badger Cereal in a nutshell is 'trans teenager whose only experience with lgbt communities is toxic cesspools filled with infighting tries to cancel his pseudo-uncle/godfather on twitter because "he used anti-lbgt slurs" (to describe himself) and instead of being mature, Vlad retorts with "My transsexual whore ass was with both of your parents back in college, I'd recommend getting a DNA test before throwing stones Little Badger"🫶. Because he himself is also pretty toxic and petty.'