#SO!!!!! maybe tomorrow before i go to my papas house ill give it a go

[cherry-shipping]

hmm….. perhaps…….. i should give drawing human sans properly a go soon……

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 6 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: brief mention of trauma in regards to water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6: Garden Daisy Means ‘I Share Your Sentiments’

Alex and Philip played in the park the next day. He pushed Philip on the swings, they tossed a ball back and forth, making Alex feel very stereotypical, so he taught Philip how to make flower crowns from the little daisies in the grass.

Philip was especially excited about making the daisy chains, telling Alex animatedly about making one at school tomorrow: “Yeah, Theo loves flowers, so I’ll make her one, because she is my bestest friend.”

“I’m sure, she’ll appreciate that,” Alex smiled.

“Are you going to make one for Mr. Thomas?” Philip asked.

Alex shook his head: “Probably not, buddy. I don’t think Thomas is much of a flower crown person, but it’s a sweet thought of you.”

“Why?”

“What? I’m going to need more context than that, Pip.”

“Why doesn’t Mr. Thomas want a flower crown?” Philip asked, looking heartbroken about it as he then also asked, “Is a flower crown not a fun gift for your bestest friends?”

“No, no, Pip, it’s a wonderful gift for Theo tomorrow, but are Theo and Thomas really the same?” he tried to do damage control.

Philip thought about it, then said: “No, but they both think my art is the coolest and they like hearing about dinos and Uncle Laf said Mr. Thomas really liked the flowers you gave him and that he was adorable over them, so he must like the flowers. Don’t you think, so Papa?”

“Uncle Laf said what?” Alex was unable to help himself, immediately backtracking, not wanting to involve his kid in that, “Never mind, not important. You make some really good points, Pip,” he had to acknowledge that, but he wasn’t giving Thomas a flower crown.

“I do?” Pip sounded excited about it.

“Yes, you do,” building up self esteem was good, “But Papa is probably not going to do that, because there are no flowers around the office and they will wilt if I make it now,” he wasn’t going to make Philip sad, so hopefully that would be enough.

Philip hummed thoughtfully, then shook off the entire thing: “I suppose you’re right.”

They went home soon after, eating dinner, before Alex read Philip a bedtime story. When Philip had drifted off, he gave him a kiss on the forehead: “Sleep tight, Pip. You’re going places.”

In return Philip snuggled closer into his pillow with a soft sigh. Alex smiled at the sleeping kid, before retreating downstairs, planning to work a bit on his essay about biphobia within the queer community.

He had written a few good paragraphs when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and smiled when he saw it was a message from Thomas: ‘Since you told me that if I wanted to pay so bad, I would have to ask you out and because I said I would, here is me formally asking if you have time next Saturday?

Alex giggled at the wording, before shooting back: ‘dork’

‘me and pip usually hang out on saturdays, but i think hercs free to babysit’

Thomas replied: ‘I was hoping to take you on a picnic, if Philip wants to come and you don’t mind, he’s more than welcome’

That was something Alex hadn’t seen coming. He would love if Thomas and Pip got along and it seemed Thomas was willing to spend time with his son, but he worried that the man had only offered out of guilt.

He took a quick screenshot and send it to Angelic, asking: ‘is this thomas being nice and awkward abt it even though he doesnt mean it?’

After a few seconds, she replied: ‘He wouldn’t lie about shit like that, now reply before he gets anxious about your silence’

‘yes, ma’am’

Alex quickly went back to the chat with Thomas and send: ‘ill ask if he wants to come, but iwould love to take you up on the invitation :D’

‘Good’

‘Talk to you tomorrow?’

‘yeah, see you then’

‘goodnight’

‘Sleep tight, Alex’

Alex sat for a moment smiling dumbly at his phone, looking forwards to tomorrow to see Thomas again as he got up to get ready for bed.

The next day, he quickly put his stuff in his office, before going to the break room, knowing that Thomas would be in soon and meet him there. It always took a few minutes, so Alex busied himself with making coffee, trying not to look at the door.

He was just taking his first sip when Thomas came in. Almost choking he managed to wave as he greeted: “Hi.”

“Hello, be careful there,” Thomas smirked, noticing Alex struggle with the coffee.

“Shove off,” Alex told him, finally swallowing the sip that had betrayed him.

“Nah, don’t wanna,” Thomas shrugged, making himself coffee, “How was your weekend? Did you get terrorized by Lafayette as well?”

“God, he got you too?” Alex asked.

“Naturally,” Thomas replied, “He was at my house first thing in the morning on Saturday, I think he had a notepad.”

“He is such an idiot,” Alex facepalmed.

“You’re telling me,” Thomas laughed.

“But no, my weekend was good,” Alex said after a pause, “I was over at Eliza’s on Saturday, she and Maria were watching Pip and on Sunday me and Pip went to the park. You?”

“Well, on Saturday I hosted Laf, unprepared, but it was alright,” he was not telling Alex he had been draped over the couch, dramatically recounting the entire night like a teenager, “Then on Sunday I read a bit,” and botheredJames about date ideas, which he did not appreciate, before bothering him about what would bea good message to send, which he also didn’t appreciate; he added mentally.

“Are you reading anything interesting?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I’m reading Frankenstein, just a classic I never got around to,” Thomas answered.

Alex lit up and their conversation went on, discussing the want for bodily autonomy that Mary Shelley as a woman in that era must have had and how that was integrated into the book and how the story of being otheredcould be applied to other minorities today.

The rest of the week sped by like usual. Their lunches together had felt a bit odd at first like it had gained a deeper meaning after the date, but then Thomas had spilled his coffee and Alex had snorted and inhaled a few crumbs, so that had worn off quite quickly.

When Alex had asked Philip if he wanted to come with him and Thomas on a picnic the boy had been beyond excited, which made that easy for Alex.

Now was just the issue of making sure that they had a kite for Pip, the drawing of Mr. Thomas he had made and wanted to give to the man, and sunscreen on as well as a jacket with them, because the weather was mostly good, but there might be winds later on.

Thomas came to pick them up in his car, it was a bit flashy, but the normal amount of flashy for Thomas. Still Alex said: “Hi there, show off.”

“And proud of it,” Thomas just grinned back, before he could say anything more though, Philip came running out of the house, yelling: “Mr. Thomas, Mr. Thomas, do you know how to fly a kite? Will you fly it with me?”

“Wow, calm down, kiddo,” Thomas said to the kid clinging to his waist.

“Sorry, Mr. Thomas.”

“It’s okay, and you can call me Thomas if you want to, you know that, right?”

“But it’s rude to not call people Mister,” Philip frowned.

“Well, it’s okay with me, I am hereby giving you permission to call me Thomas,” Thomas told the kid gently, the whole Mr. Thomas made him feel old.

Philip nodded, then said: “Okay, Uncle Thomas. Do you know how to fly a kite?”

Okay, that was- that was an upgrade that Thomas was unsure of how to deal with, so he just ignored it: “Yeah, I know how to fly a kite. Do you have one?”

“Yes, it’s the bestest one, it gots all the colors of the rainbow on it!” the kid was clearly beyond excited about it.

“Wow, that sounds super awesome, kiddo.”

“What is also super awesome, is car safety,” Alex interrupted them, “I got Pip’s booster seat, do you mind if I put that on the backseat?”

“Of course not, need help?” Thomas answered.

“Nah, I’ve done this before,” Alex grinned.

With Philip’s booster seat firmly in place and the kid buckled in, they got into the car. Thomas holding Alex’s door open with a flourish, making Alex blush as he called him a dork.

“Not a dork, darlin’, just Southern hospitality,” Thomas winked at him, letting his accent coat his words heavily.

And with that he closed Alex’s door and got into the car, driving off in the direction of the nearby park Alex often visited with Pip.

After they arrived Alex got Philip out of the car, while Thomas grabbed Alex’s bag andan actual basket out of the back. When he noticed Alex staring with a raised brow, he shrugged: “You were cliché, so I thought why not.”

“It’s very picturesque.”

“Papa, what is pictuu- pictuu- that word?” Philip asked.

Breaking the eyecontact with Thomas, Alex explained: “Well, sometimes things look just like a picture, they’re put in on purpose to be pretty, like with a drawing. So, we call it picturesque.”

Philip hummed thoughtfully, before he said: “Okay, can I go on the swings?”

“Sure, buddy, but first we go find a spot to sit and maybe eat something, okay?” Alex said, taking Pip’s hand, holding his other out to Thomas with a raised eyebrow.

Thomas took it with a smile, leading them to a spot near the little pond in the park, where a tree provided both shade and an easy marker to find it again if Philip wandered off on his own, which Alex was grateful for.

Out of the basket came a checkered blanket, which made Alex laugh as he and Thomas struggled to lay in down in the wind. But there were also sandwiches, orange juice, brownies, fruit salad and a thermos with coffee.

“Wow, you thought of everything, didn’t you,” Alex whistled.

He got an eye crinkle smile in return as Thomas said: “I try,” before turning to Philip and asking, “What sort of sandwich do you want, kiddo? I got PB and J, ham and cheese and one with chicken and eggplant.”

“May I please have a PB and J sandwich?”

“So, polite,” Thomas commented, handing him the sandwich, “Here you go. Alex?”

“Uhm, can I have one with chicken?”

“Of course, there you are,” Thomas handed him a sandwich, before taking a chicken one as well, nodding a cheers to the others before eating it.

It wasn’t really quiet while they ate, neither Alex nor Philip had a talent for keeping their mouths shut while Thomas was comfortable enough to mix himself into the conversation, either to argue fondly with Alex or to encourage Philip to keep going.

When most of the food was gone, Philip asked: “Can I go on the swings now, Papa?”

Alex checked if the swings were in sight, they were actually quite close and since he was trying to let Pip be more independent, he nodded: “Yeah, just be sure to stay in sight and to come tell me if you’re going somewhere else, okay?”

“Okay, Papa.”

“Can you pinky promise me?” he might be trying to let Pip be more independent, but he still worried about his son.

“Pinky promise,” it was adorable how serious Philip looked while making the pinky promise.

Then Philip skipped off to the swings to play. Alex watched him closely until he got there, then a few moments more just to be sure.

“It’s incredible to see how much you love him,” the comment startled Alex for a moment and he asked: “Wha?”

“Just- you love Philip so much and you can see it every time you two interact,” Thomas explained, “It’s kinda amazing to see. You know, with a big family it wasn’t all that one on one, so seeing how much attention you give him is weird – in the best way of course.”

Alex blushed, no one really every complimented his parenting much, with the trans thing and the single parent and the busy job, most of the PTA moms looked down on him, so it was refreshing to hear: “Oh, uhm, thanks, really means a lot.”

“No problem,” Thomas smiled, “Coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Alex held out his cup and watched it get filled, nodding to Thomas gratefully as he took a sip.

It was quiet for a moment, then a thought popped into Thomas’s head, making him a bit unsure and he asked: “Philip is calling me Uncle Thomas, you okay with that?”

“As long as you are. Pip’s never had a conventional family, I’m not sure he knows exactly what the word is supposed to mean, so he just calls adults he knows well that,” Alex explained, before quickly adding, “If you want him to stop, I can talk to him.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind – honored, actually – just, you know,checking in.”

“Okay.”

Then it was quiet again. They both stared at the little playground where Philip was now playing tag with a few other kids, obviously done with swinging on the swings.

The sun was out and there were birds in the trees that were chirping, they were sitting on a checkered blanket, nearly completely leaning on one another and Alex was enamored by how picturesque this actually was, even if it had been teasing before.

He remembered Thomas complimenting his date and how relieved and excited that had made him, so he leaned more into Thomas’s side and softly said: “This is pretty amazing, thanks for asking me out again.”

Alex couldn't see it, but Thomas grinned as he replied: “Well, I am glad for inviting you, the company makes it much better.”

“How romantic,” Alex told him, trying, and failing, not to be touched by the comment.

“I try,” Thomas merely replied.

“So,” Alex looked around for something to talk about when he spotted the daisies in the grass and was reminded of his trip to the park with Pip last week, “opinions on flower crowns?”

“What?” Thomas sounded very confused.

He sat up straighter and plucked a few flowers, making a chain and holding it up: “Opinions on flower crowns?”

Thomas laughed for a second, then saw Alex’s face andexclaimed: “Oh my God, you’re being serious.”

Alex laughed too, before schooling his face into a more serious expression: “A trustworthy source told me these are very great gifts.”

“Oh, and who might that source be?” Thomas challenge.

“Well that would be my very own flesh and blood, Philip Hamilton, UncleThomas,” Alex emphasized the title teasingly.

Thomas grinned: “Oh, you should have said so, can’t argue with such an esteemed member of society.”

They both laughed again as Alex plucked more daisies and made a flower crown. It might have been a bit of a joke, but he had never known when to stop and he wasn’t going to start now, so he concentrated on braiding the flowers together while Thomas watched with an amused smile.

“Here, a pretty flower crown, for a pretty boy,” Alex said, handing Thomas the flower crown, taking much delight in how he had a front row seat to a blush blooming over Thomas’s entire face.

Mutely Thomas took the flower crown, mentally trying not to die at Alex’s face and words, which was really hard.

“Well, aren’t you going to put it on?” Alex asked, it was kinda mean to tease at this point, but he couldn't help it when Thomas looked like that.

“Ye- yeah, naturally,” Thomas managed, putting the flower crown on as he regained his bearings, “So, how do I look?” his voice was still a bit squeaky.

“Ah, just like I thought,” Alex smiled, “beautiful.”

“You can’t just say things like that, Alex,” Thomas tried to hide his face.

“Yes, yes, I can. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kind of known for always speaking my mind and being honest. Can’t help it if it’s true.”

“I hate you.”

“I sure hope that’s not true or this is going to be awkward.”

It was a teasing reply, but both stilled for a moment, before Thomas slowly and softly said: “No, I- I didn’t mean that, you’re- you’re pretty alright.”

“Pretty alright… Hm, I’ll take it,” Alex was smirking, trying to play off the fact that his heart was beating like a marathon runner’s as relief flooded through his veins.

Thomas shoved him over and said: “You’re an idiot.”

“Now that- that I already knew,” Alex grinned, before getting up and looking back to the playground to check in on Philip.

He didn’t have to search much, because the boy was just running their way, yelling: “Papa, Papa, I slayed the dragon.”

“Wow, really buddy? That’s so cool,” Alex caught him as the kid practically tripped into his arms as he gestured wildly while recounting his epic encounter with a dragon and a witch and some fairies who were ‘the coolest, Papa, you should have seen then, they went pow pow and it was so cool.’

Then he spotted Thomas with the flower crown perched on his head and he smiled widely: “Did you give Uncle Thomas a flower crown like I said, Papa?”

“Yeah, I did, Pip. You were right, it was a great gift.”

“I have to agree, you have way better ideas than your Papa,” Thomas budded in.

Philip’s smile widened: “Really? I think so, but Papa is an adult and people always say adults know better.”

“Well, in some instances, adults have more experiences so they can make better decisions, but that doesn’t mean they’re always right,” Thomas said, “Kids can have interesting ideas too. Think of it like painting, experiences are different colors, but you don’t need every color, you can just make a more elaborate picture with more.”

Alex watched as Philip took a moment to think about it, before he nodded in understanding and saying: “So, I may not have all the colors yet, but I can make a good picture?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Thomas was grinning so broadly that Alex was going to loose his mind with how much he adored Thomas and Philip interacting and how fucking cute it was.

Suddenly Philip’s eyes lit up and he said: “Papa, I forgot to give Uncle Thomas his picture.”

“You can give it now, buddy,” Alex told him, reaching over to the bag he brought himself and digging through it.

“My what?” Thomas asked in the background.

“I made you a picture,” Philip was bouncing in place waiting for Alex to find it. When he did, he handed it to Pip, who in turn handed it to Thomas.

“It’s you,” he said, “You’re all purple, because you like purple like me and you have big hair like Uncle Laf and Uncle Herc do, though Uncle Herc’s is smaller and I gave you a book and a laptop ad then I thought planes would be cool, so I added those.”

“Wow, Philip, this is amazing,” Thomas said, “I feel like I should donate it to a museum, but something is missing for that.”

“What?” Philip’s face fell slightly.

“I need it signed, can’t have a masterpiece and forget who made it. What if you get famous? I want to be able to brag that I got an original Philip Hamilton drawing,” he dug around in his pocket and got out the purple pen he used to sign things when he was annoyed at Washington.

Philip took it excitedly, messily scrawling his name at the bottom, before handing it back: “Here, for you.”

“Truly, I’m speechless,” Thomas said, “I’m going to have to frame this.”

“You will?” Philip’s eyes were as big as plates.

“I am a man of my word and I promise,” Thomas told him, holding up a pinky. He had alreadyfigured out that promise meant the most to Philip at this age.

Philip happily interlocked their fingers, before Thomas carefully put the drawing away. Once it was gone, Philip asked: “Can we go kiting now?”

“We first have to put it together if you want to do that, so while I do that why don’t you drink some more juice,” Alex said, already pouring juice in a cup for Pip.

“Thank you, Papa,” Philip started drinking happily.

He struggled with putting the kite together, but luckily Thomas had more experience in putting together kites, citing his big family. So, they had it assembled by the time Philip had finished his juice.

Alex forced Philip to eat a brownie too. It might not be the healthiest, but he wouldn’t let Philip run around on an empty stomach if he could help it.

“I have no clue how to do this,” Alex confessed holding the kite. He had bought it on a whim in the supermarket about twoweeksago. However, he had no childhood memories to draw from on how to do this.

“Fortunately for you, I do,” Thomas said, taking the kite from him, “Here, let me take this.”

Alex gladly gave the task away and watched as Thomas gave Philip the handle of the kite and instructed him on what to do as he threw the kite into the air.

Philip whooped when it stayed up and Thomas cheered as well. Alex took out his phone and sneakily took a picture of the two, before cheering as well.

He flew the kite for half an hour before it went wrong. It was nothing big, just a sudden gust of wind that ripped the kite from Philip’s small hands and carried the kite away from them until it dropped into the water.

They looked at the kite for a second, before Philip turned to Alex with big eyes: “Papa, we have to save the kite.”

Looking at the water, Alex shuddered before he replied: “I’m sorry, Pip, but I can’t retrieve it for you. I think you’re going to have to say goodbye to the kite.”

“I can go get it, please, Papa,” there were tears gathering in Philip’s eyes.

In his mind images of Philip drowning flashed and quite harshly he said: “No!” cringing as Philip startled slightly. In a softer tone, he repeated: “No, Pip. You can’t swim, I’m not letting you in the water, because it’s dangerous and your clothes will get wet.”

“But- but the kite,” Philip argued.

“It was an accident, but we lost the kite,” Alex tried to break the news gently.

They were distracted by Thomas, who said: “I can go get the kite.”

“What?” “Will you do that, Uncle Thomas!”

“No, I can’t ask that of you,” Alex said, “You’ll ruin your clothes and it’s in the water and it might get cold later, it’s too much to ask.”

“I’ll be fine, Alex. Unlike Philip here, I can swim, so it’s fine if I fall. And this isn’t a natural pond anyway,” Thomas explained, “It’s made to trap rainwater so the neighborhood doesn’t get flooded, but because it’s in a kids park, it’s shallower. I don’t think my shorts will get wet.”

“You really don’t have to do this,” Alex pressed again, making sure that Thomas didn’t feel obligated just because Philip would be mildly upset about it.

“I know,” Thomas smiled as he sat down to toe off his shoes and socks.

Before he stepped into the water, he looked at Pip and seriously said: “Can you watch over our spot and your Papa for me while I go rescue the kite?”

Philip nodded, equally serious: “With my life.”

“Good,” Thomas chuckled, then set his first step.

He had been right about the depth of the pond and got to the kite without any difficulties. More onlookers had turned their attention to the water, but Thomas tried to ignore them as he saved the kite.

Returning to the shore he handed it to Philip, who beamed: “Thank you so somuch, Uncle Thomas.”

“No problem, kiddo, though I don’t think we can kite any more with the kite all wet,” he replied.

“That’s okay, I can still swing,” Philip said.

As the kid ran off again to play, Alex turned to Thomas: “Really, thank you, you didn’t have to do it, but thanks.”

“Did you see Philip’s smile? Worth it, really,” Thomas assured him.

Alex smiled, he didn’t think his heart could contain all the affection he had for Thomas in that moment, so he just hugged the man and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Thomas gently touched the spot Alex had kissed before smiling like he was the happiest man on earth, which only made Alex scream more internally.

They returned to their blanket and watched Philip play. After a few minutes of silence, Thomas lightly said: “So, water. Not a fan?”

“Ah, no, not really,” Alex replied, not sure on what to say.

“You don’t have to tell me, just good to keep in mind,” Thomas told him gently.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, just not something I talk about much,” Alex shrugged.

Thomas repeated: “You don’t have to tell me, really.”

“I know,” Alex assured him, “You know how I’m an immigrant, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I come from the Caribbean and uhm- You see, there was this hurricane that hit my island when I was seventeen. It’s- uh, it’s not something I’d recommend living through,” he told Thomas.

“Oh wow, I remember that being on the news,” Thomas felt like he had maneuvered himself into an awkward position. He was bad at comfort, with John he could relate, but here he was way out of his depths.

“It’s okay now, I got over it- mostly,” Alex shrugged, trying to move on, “Just don’t like water or storms that much.”

Thomas nodded, staying quiet. Instead he slung an arm over Alex’s shoulders and let the man snuggle close as he stared off in the direction Philip was in, though Thomas wasn’t sure if he was seeing much, so he kept an eye on the kid just in case.

After a moment, Alex asked: “Do you have one of those brownies left?”

“What? Huh, oh yeah. Here.”

“Thank you, these are amazing.”

“Why thank you, I made them.”

“You did?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“I’m not,” a beat, then Alex said, “Well, I am, but it’s more pleasantly surprised than anything else. I didn’t know you baked.”

Thomas was glad for the change in topic and that the atmosphere hadn’t been ruined by his comment. So he replied: “It’s calming, repetitive and you have something nice at the end.”

“Never pegged you to be a stress baker,” Alex commented.

“According to Jemmy it’s one of my more redeeming qualities,” Thomas joked.

Alex laughed: “James is good in pinning people, I’ll take his word.”

“He thought you to be annoying and a dick, so I don’t think you wanna do that,” Thomas raised a brow at him.

“Schematics,” Alex waved his hand, “And in my defense, I was annoying back then, maybe even a bit of a dick, butI just aged like fine wine.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I thought you were supposed to be on my side.”

“What can I say, I’m a man of many faces.”

“You’re a dork, that’s what you are.”

“Maybe so,” Thomas smirked, before looking over to the playground again. Philip was going down the slide, before running around with another kid. Thomas said: “He looks like he’s having fun.”

“Yeah, yeah, he does,” Alex agreed, snuggling closer into Thomas’s side.

Thomas planted a kiss on the top of his head and Alex was pretty sure he was one day going to melt out of affection.

Philip stopped running for a moment, to turn to them and wave excitedly. Alex waved back and so did Thomas. Alex couldn't stop the smile on his face, this was nice, so much nicer than he ever thought he was going to get after John’s death.

He send a quick look to the sky, slightly wistful, before fully draping himself over Thomas, earning a not-that-offended offended squawk that he ignored in favor of draping even more until Thomas gave in and let them both topple over.

Alex vowed that he was going to try to hold on to this for as long as possible.

I am not a parent btw, I feel like I should have stated that early, also don’t take this fic as parenting advise. I try to write Good Parent!Alex, but that doesn’t mean it will be entirely, bc, again, no experience in this field.

Btw, Philip not understanding Uncle and Auntie and being over at the other’s houses so much is a concept I love, bc it’s a very queer way to raise a kid. Sure, Alex is his primary care giver and dad and stuff, but a village raises a kid and- ugh, I love found family dynamics.

Also this is getting incredibly fluffy, I was worried this was going to be too dark for me with my other fics, but no within a few chapters the angst has made place for this. Love that for me *gay peace sign*

[dolphin-enthusiast]

hello my lovely morgy 💌🍄✨ ahhhh i apologize for my lateness today, it was busy and quite stressful in the end, but i'm ok!! sadly this is going to be shorter because i'm exhausted after some events from a few hours ago (plus it's 0:19 here hehe) how are you?? i hope well, oh, and i hope you enjoyed the time at your nonna's house, and if not, at least you're back home!! 🌺💫 (1/4)

"i got checked out and the nice doctors gave me medicines for my illness, so i'm feeling much much better physically!! and i'm so happy that i didn't get stuck in the hospital again!! my lovely neighbor, who was a farmer in his homeland, has a quite sizable vegetable garden that he built last year, and he gave me some of the produce from his first harvest!! i thought that it was such a sweet gesture! (2/4)

i plan on writing a "thank you" letter and making some lovely buccellati for cookies for him!! ahhh i feel that you would love them, since everyone who has tried them always asks for more hehe!! 🌟 oh, and i got to practice my dancing because i haven't since i was last in the hospital,, so i was a teensy bit rusty at first but i soon got back into it 💗 plus, my cats came to cheer me on ☀ (3/4)

i also watched a film with my sis and papa,, it was some action movie about an invasion and it reminded me that for a short time when i was younger, i wanted to join the military!! it sounds really funny to me now since all my health issues would actually exempt me,, i was an ambitious child 🌛 (4/ 4̶ 5)

well, i hope you get enough rest, and take care of yourself!! i'll be back tomorrow with longer writings and lots of love as always 💞 mamma mia,, i almost forgot!!! thanks for looking out for me like always ❤❤❤ - lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of love, your adoring waifu 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘 ps: oh, we could maybe play minecraft sometime?? 😳😳💓 (5/5)"

Do not fret darling for i myself am once again late at answering ur letter since yesterday evening after i came back from my grandma's (it did go well btw👁️👁️) for the first time in Y E A R S i crashed out of exhaustion like i deadass sleeped from 10 pm to almost 2 fucking pm today which is like a rarity for my insomniac ass fndhdnns but the excessive heat and the fact that i slept like 1 hr and 30 min before i visited my grandma got to me ig🤡👌(fun fact i havent properly slept a full night since i was in 4th grade)

Rant aside, im very happy to hear ur all well and have been able to practice dancing and stuff...i myself was very into learning choreos for some reason when i was little and h o l y s h i t I TOO WANTED TO JOIN THE MILITARY? I ALMOST ENDED UP APPLYING TO A MILITARY SCHOOL 2 YEARS AGO JDUCHDDFBDH we t w i n n i n g darling😳😳😳😳

Im also amazed once again at how ppl always give u stuff but then again why wouldnt they 😩😩😩 im p sure ur cookies r marvelous as well👀👁️👀👁️👀👁️

And one last thing: the final paragraph of ur letter made me w o k e ahdjsjs what if i put my mc bed next to urs...haha jk...u n l e s s?👀

[smartguyreviewed]

1x7 - A Little Knowledge

Original air date: May 7, 1997

Hello there, friends. How are we holding up during these “unprecedented times?” I am currently holding up by pretty much being high 18/7, not sleeping and obsessing over a show that pretty much nobody talks about because I am that bored.

Really, I do want to thank anyone who takes the time to read this blog and/or drop a like. I started this blog because I enjoyed reading reviews of Lizzie McGuire and Boy Meets World. And then I thought of how not that many black sitcoms are pretty much ever really discussed. I watched Smart Guy so much when I was a kid but didn’t realize how important it was to even be watching it because we had so many other black television shows during my childhood, the complete opposite of how it is now. I always thought about even making a YouTube channel reviewing that black ass nostalgia that I love so much, but since I’m in the ugly phase of growing my starter locs, I figured I’d blog for now. 

Alright! There’s my intro. I really did mean it, but I had no idea how else to segue into the opening for this episode. By the way, if anyone is a super meticulous asshole and thinks the numbering of the episodes is off, I was honestly confused because Disney omitted a whole ass episode of the show, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the numbering of the episodes is different here but nowhere else on the web. The first season is already less than 10 episodes, so whatever.

Okay, so we open to Floyd about to do his books but he needs the little precocious calculator to help him out. This triggers me because I still have not done my taxes even though the deadline was extended. Luckily, it doesn’t appear that the Hendersons have any timely bills due but they are broke. After TJ adds up all the numbers, Floyd sees he is definitely not in the black. 

Because the episode is about money, naturally, both of Floyd’s grown children need pricey things all of a sudden. Yvette comes down and asks for a coat to replace this...thing that she’s wearing because it’s clearly ill-fitting. Floyd says he can buy her a new coat, as long as she’s not particular as to which winter she gets it in.

Up next is our Marcus, asking for something totally egregious. At least Yvette was asking for weather appropriate clothing. Marcus is asking Floyd for a $1500 bike. And now I’m confused. Why the hell would Marcus of all people need a bike? If he’s really trying his damndest to get the girls, I thought the band alone served that purpose. Regardless, Marcus needs it and he’s a teenager so the world is going to end tomorrow if he doesn’t get this deathcycle of his. He even tries to manipulate his dad by showing him a photo of Floyd on his bike. I actually think it’s cute how Floyd lights up at the sight of younger him. Maybe he met his deceased wife during these years? 

Floyd breaks out of memory lane and reminds Marcus that he, a human parent, wants the finer things also, including the chance to see his old friends at his high school reunion but that doesn’t seem to have a snowball’s chance in hell of happening. Yeah, because Floyd has to put food on the table for a woman and three guys (yes, I’m including Mo and guys eat a lot and I don’t wanna hear shit about how girls eat a lot too because guys just eat more and that’s a fact) and school all of his children. No room for the finer things.

He then says that Yvette and Marcus can buy what they want but simply have to get jobs. Marcus balks at the idea and says he wouldn’t want work to interrupt his studies. Yvette and TJ have a nice little kii over this since hahaha “Marcus is dumb,” hahaha.

We cut to TJ in his room attempting to strategize ways for the Henderson clan to save money while watching a bootleg version of Jeopardy!. Marcus comes in on the phone with Craig, the guy selling the bike, and convinces him to not sell it, even though Marcus only has 4.2% of the funds. Yvette barges in and is pissed at her annoying little brothers for not unlocking her door when they’re done with the bathroom. See, they share a bathroom in this episode. In another episode, Yvette gets her own bathroom built...somewhere because she’s tired of sharing with them. This bathroom is never mentioned again. In another episode, Marcus temporarily moves to the attic. I just wonder exactly how the Henderson house is built because it seems like there’s so much space yet so little space? 

The boys aren’t listening to Yvette however, because she stank. She credits this funk to the job she just got at the Cluck Bucket, “yanking the gushy stuff out of chickens,” as Marcus eloquently puts it. She brags, saying she makes $100 a week, which is obviously $1000 a week in 90s money. 

After TJ proposes that Yvette cut Marcus’s hair, Marcus realizes TJ is attempting to optimize their family’s finances. TJ really is doing a lot for a 10 year old here. Normally, he’s being extremely rude to them, but in this episode, he’s trying to use his intelligence to fix a problem that he has no business worrying about. Clearly, this intelligence is a gift and a curse. I’m about to be 29 and I worry all the time about things I can’t even control along with the things I can. Imagine being 10, gifted AF and stressing only about adult things you can’t control.

Marcus actually delivers good advice this episode, most likely unbeknownst to him. He commands TJ to turn off his brain and stop worrying because this is something he can’t fix. And Marcus is right. A 10 year old has zero reasons to be trying to balance the family checkbook. It would have been better if he threw a Gameboy at him and told him that’s his homework instead.

But this is TJ and he is the determinator AKA hard-headed. Bootleg Jeopardy! is about to end but the host announces a junior version of the show. TJ checks all the boxes. Youngster? Check. Living in the D.C. area? Check. In desperate need of $25k? Double check!

TJ and Marcus are back home and go over how they’re going to break the news to Floyd since obviously he wouldn’t have given TJ permission to audition if they asked. Floyd seems pissed at first when they tell him but Marcus makes sure to place emphasis on how TJ kicked ass. Floyd is proud now, even though a few moments ago, he was about to go full Papa Bear.

The next day, Piedmont is buzzing about TJ’s television debut but he’s confused because he only told his fam. We then cut to Marcus blabbing to some girl about how he can get her a seat next to him so she can give him a handjob on the sly. (Of course, we don’t even see said girl at the show.) TJ tells Marcus he didn’t want everyone to know because, understandably, now there’s more pressure on him. Marcus responds to this by putting even more pressure on him, telling Craig that TJ is going to win him the bike. Then he puts a damn anvil on it by telling Craig to raise the price to $1700 and he’ll just take the bike now. This will end well.

TJ, under immense pressure because the show is filming in 6 hours at this point (film/TV people, if you’re reading, feel free to say if this is even normal for it to move this quickly especially for an underage guest?), is up late at night studying his ass off and high off legal coke. He’s awoken Marcus who is wondering why on earth TJ would be up this early studying for a quiz television show that has a large monetary prize and they’re broke. He wants TJ to get some sleep by he’s in the zone because he had 20 cups of coffee. After a drug fueled rant, he just passes out. 

6 hours later and TJ is still high. Floyd chalks it up to nerves before TJ starts sprinting around the set. Marcus shows up, announcing he just chained up his new bike to a dumpster. This will end well. He checks in on TJ who is still coked up and not coming down anytime soon. His dad calls him over to meet the other contestants which include Dylan Roof and Yung Sharpay.

After the kids are ushered onto set, Floyd goes to the other hoity toity parents, bragging about their kids’ accomplishments. He dismisses them and says TJ actually has a life. Floyd, you dick! Afterwards, the show begins. The host is opening and says he believes that children are our future. Floyd and Marcus are backstage and in true black parent fashion, once TJ is announced, they lose their shit!

The game is now underway and Yung Sharpay and TJ are caught up. Dylan Roof is pretty much just there because he’s so far behind that it doesn’t even matter. Amy loudly tells TJ that he has a broken leg and they’re loading the shotgun because she just caught up to him. Of course, nobody heard this even though she was loud as hell. Also, racial implications much?

Yvette comes late in her work uniform and is hurriedly trying to tell Marcus a bit of info he’ll want to act fast on, but naturally, he shushes her to listen to the game that TJ is about to possibly lose. Yvette is also a petty asshole, so she doesn’t even try to tell him again. They cut to break and Yvette announces then that Marcus’s bike is gone. Turns out, locking it to a dumpster isn’t the best idea because some guy in a garbage truck stole it dragged the dumpster away. Marcus is pissed and lets slip that he paid $1700 for it which gets him in trouble because he just told Floyd that he was taking it on a test drive. Then the rest of the truth spews out. Marcus says he wanted something from the money TJ was going to win and oh mama is Floyd pissed because he naturally expects the worst from Marcus always and thinks he forced TJ to be in the competition which wasn’t even the case. Floyd tells Marcus he’s going to talk to TJ and warns him to “brace himself” for when he gets back. Yvette gleefully says she’s going to get chalk for his body outline. What did Marcus do to everyone to make them hate him so much? TJ does way shittier things than him and he’s still held in high regard. Hmm.

Floyd comes over to TJ to check in and lets him know that he’s aware of what’s going on. TJ, who has only consumed coffee and chocolate for the past few hours, is now dizzy. Floyd has to remind TJ that he has plenty of time to worry about rent and bills and student loans and credit card debt and finding a therapist and the pressure to have it “together” by the time you’re 30 which is crazy unrealistic. Good lesson and one of the few times I don’t wanna strangle TJ. Understandably, with the pressure off, TJ wants to dipset. The host, while seeing TJ and Floyd leaving, says they signed a contract so somebody needs to fill in for TJ. Cut to one of the funniest scenes in the show, hands down.

The question is how much did Thomas Jefferson, another TJ, pay for the Louisiana Purchase? This is word for word what Marcus-as-TJ says.

“Well uh, let’s see. In DC, the most you can take out of the ATM is $300 and you would wanna hold back a $20 in case something comes up, so I’m gonna say $280, Hugh.”

Yvette’s reaction says it all.

In the end, we see Yvette at the Cluck Bucket, putting on her functional gray pea coat that she probably got from Contempo Casuals or something. Marcus is the janitor now because he has to work off his debt to Craig and because remember, Marcus is a dark-skinned buffoon and couldn’t get the same job as Yvette for some reason. Whatever. I wonder what Yung Sharpay did with her prize money.

Stuff I Noticed:

- Yvette’s jacket. What is this?

- Marcus’s face for Lil’ Dylan and Yung Sharpay versus TJ. I love black families.

White lady on the left does not approve.

- No Mo this episode! :(

[imitranslates]

Fukigen na Mononokean Ch. 72

More truths about Yahiko this month, and Ashiya finally gets to hear a little more about Abeno’s past from the man himself!

Please remember to check out the official English release when it comes out, preferably on Crunchyroll if you’re able to!

The newest chapter can be read on the official website by clicking the yellow button labeled 読む!

Fukigen na Mononokean Chapter 72 - Zero Degrees

Page 3

[Yahiko is...]

[The Underworld princess's big brother...?!]

Page 4

Yahiko: Cough... cough...

Yahiko: ......

Yahiko: ...Haruitsuki... How long have you known my identity?

Abeno: I acknowledged you as a demon with a strong spiritual power from the first time we met, but

I did not realize you were "Mioya-hiko."

Page 5

Abeno: But the Executive told me something important regarding the door to the Underworld. He said, "The earthbound Prince Kamo-mioya-hiko must never be exorcised."

That's why, when I saw how adamantly you refused to be exorcised, I thought that maybe...

Abeno: The reason the door to the Underworld can open is related to the Underworld Princess being in the Underworld, and Prince Mioya-hiko being in the Mundane world.

Abeno: One could say that the door to the Underworld would disappear if this relationship was disturbed.

Abeno: Therefore, you must remain in the Mundane world

to protect the door to the Underworld, correct?

Page 6

Ashiya: (Then, that's why Yahiko didn't want to be exorcised?!)

Ashiya: (When he was scolded by Abeno-san, he said Yahiko could stay at the temple for a year, so he never suspected a thing!)

Ashiya: (Why did I never hear about Yahiko being such a key figure?!)

Yahiko: ......

Yahiko: Haruitsuki...

Yahiko: ...Why did you stay quiet if you realized it?

Abeno: Since you didn't divulge your identity, I determined that you didn't want it to be discovered.

I treated you in the same manner as usual until now.

Abeno: This will be the last day I behave without acknowledging your position.

Page 7

Abeno: I humbly ask that you forgive me for my rudeness.

Abeno: ......

Yahiko: Sto--

Yahiko: Cough!

Yahiko Cough, cough...

Abeno&Ashiya: !?

Ashiya: Abeno-san! First things first, let's move Yahiko to the Mononokean!

Being out in this cold will only aggravate his illness!

Yahiko: Cough, cough!

Abeno: The Mononokean's no good! It'd probably upset the balance I mentioned earlier.

Ashiya: Wha...?! Then, to Zenko's house!

Page 8

Yahiko: Cough, cough!

Abeno: Please come with me. I shall take you inside.

Abeno: Prince Mioya-hi...

Yahiko: Don't call me that!

Yahiko: I really hate being treating like this!

Ashiya: !?

Page 9

Yahiko: Go back to the normal Haruitsuki.

...If you don't, I won't play with you anymore.

Abeno: ......

Ashiya: ...Getting rid of his playmates is a serious manner for Yahiko.

Abeno: ......

Abeno: ("Mioya-hiko" has the same top rank in the Underworld as the princess herself, and is to be revered...)

(Once his identity was made clear, I thought to treat him with distinction, but...)

Page 10

Abeno: (I can't get used to it after all this time, either.)

Yahiko: Wah!

Abeno: ...Then, I'll act freely.

Abeno: Geez! Zenko told you to wait calmly in the house because you were coughing!

Don't go playing outside when your condition's this bad, you three-year old!

Yahiko: Ehhh? But tomorrow the snow will be gone, and I won't be able to make snowmen!

Ashiya: (We're back to the usual scene...)

(Ashiya: Now, now, you two!)

Page 11

Ashiya: Excuse us!

Ashiya: Hello!

Zenko Papa: Zenko called to say you two were coming...

It's cold, right... Come inside.

Page 12

Zenko Papa: I put some tea in there, so feel free to have some.

Ashiya: Thank you so much.

Yahiko: Cough, cough...

Yahiko: Cough.

Page 13

Yahiko: Cough.

Ashiya: He looks like he's having trouble breathing...

Abeno: Yahiko, aside from your coughing and fever, is there anything else wrong with your body?

Yahiko: Yeah...

Yahiko: After I transformed earlier, I started to feel woozy...

Yahiko: And then, I wanted to eat something sweet...

Ashiya: Isn't that normal?

Yahiko: There's mikan on top of the kotatsu so give me one, Ashiya~~

Ashiya: You can't just eat whatever you want...

Yahiko: Hurry up already...

Page 14

Ashiya: Here you go.

Yahiko: Can you peel it? Zenko always does it for me!

Ashiya: Zenko...! That's spoiling him too much...!

Ashiya: Here you go.

Ashiya: Come on! Say ah!

Yahiko: Ah~!

Ashiya: Even though he's ill, he still has an appetite.

Abeno: Seems like it.

Yahiko: Ashiya~ Gimme another piece!

Ashiya: Yes, yes.

Page 15

Abeno: I've got the gist of your condition...

Abeno: Yahiko... Those symptoms aren't just a cold.

Yahiko: !

Abeno: Your symptoms might be caused by the Underworld Princess.

Yahiko: ...!?

Ashiya: ?

Page 16

Abeno: One month ago, I received a report about the princess's poor condition.

From what I heard then, her symptoms are strikingly similar to Yahiko's now.

Abeno: At this timing and them having the same symptoms, there's a high probability that his relationship with the Underworld Princess is affecting him.

Ashiya: !

Ashiya: Wait a second... Wasn't the princess cured?

Abeno: I heard that she'd recovered, but...

Yahiko: Cough, cough. Cough...

Yahiko: Cough.

Yahiko: The princess... Got sick...

Page 17

Yahiko: ...But, she'll be fine because she's in the Underworld...?

Yahiko: Cough.

Yahiko: ...The princess... She won't disappear, right...?

Abeno: !

Abeno: ...Unfortunately, I can't confirm that completely.

Page 18

Abeno: But she won't get so weak that she disappears, so you can rest assured.

Abeno: The master of Kiyakudo is attending to her to take care of her health, so she's in much better shape than you are.

Abeno: Leave the princess to us, and make sure you get lots of rest until you're healed up.

Abeno: ...Alright?

Yahiko: ...Okay.

Yahiko: Haruitsuki... I'll get looots of rest, so can you pet my head some more?

Yahiko: Cough... cough!

Page 19

Yahiko: Ashiyaa, I want more mikan!

Ashiya: Yes, yes...

Yahiko: Ashiyaa, I'm thirsty!

Ashiya: Yes, yes, I'll make some tea. (And for Abeno-san, too.)

Yahiko: Ashiyaa, can you scratch my back? (It's itchy~)

Ashiya: Yes, yes, am I doing it too hard? (I am a backscratcher.)

Yahiko: Ashiyaaa, sing for me!

Ashiya: Yes, yes... Then, for the first song... (Ahem... Lululullu, lululullu, lululuuuu~)

Abeno: Cut it out!

Zenko: I'm back...

Yahiko: Welcome home, Zenko! (Cough.)

Zenko: (I'm home, Yahiko.) Did you stay at home and sleep like you were supposed to?

Yahiko: Yeah!

Ashiya&Abeno: No.

Page 20

Zenko: ...Hm? Yahiko, you have a fever...

Ashiya: He seems to feel a little dizzy.

Abeno: We'll go buy some medicine.

We'll come back again so wait here and watch over Yahiko for us.

Zenko: Okay.

(Ashiya: See you then.)

Ashiya: Yahiko's cold... I'm a little worried.

Abeno: Yeah...

Abeno: But the princess is a bigger problem.

Ashiya: Huh?

Abeno: Yahiko's symptoms can be controlled with medicine, but

Abeno: If the princess's condition is affecting him, then he won't be able to get better unless the princess makes a complete recovery...!

Page 21

Abeno: ...But getting rest to recuperate is practically impossible while she's still maintaining her divine protection.

Since she can't step down from the throne, she's losing time she could be using to recover.

Ashiya: I see...

Ashiya: And Aoi-san, who was supposed to be the next Underworld Princess, isn't here either...

Page 22

Abeno: .......

Abeno: You... Why do you know that?

Ashiya: Huh?

Ashiya: ...Ah! The Justice told me before.

Abeno: The Justice did...

Abeno: ...

Abeno: ...Did he tell you anything else?

Ashiya: Anything else...?

Page 23

Abeno: ...For instance...

Abeno: Some...

Abeno: Really old story... maybe?

Ashiya: Really old...?

Ashiya: (Ah!) I heard about how he used to let you ride on his back and go on walks with him!

And the Legislator told me that Aoi-san threatened him with "I'll kill you!" when he was introduced to you for the first time.

Abeno: Those two...! Yammering about my business on when I wasn't around...!

Ashiya: It wasn't like that, though?

Ashiya: When it came to me asking why you had gone into the forest when you were an employee...

They refused me and said, "I won't tell you."

Abeno: ......

Page 24

(Ashiya: There was even more reminiscing over past memories from those two!)

Ashiya: It... It's not like that?! It wasn't like I was trying to pry into all the things you're hiding, Abeno-san!

When I was talking to the Justice and the Legislator, the conversation just happened to flow in that direction....!!

No, I mean, I'm sorry for asking about things on my own...!!

Abeno: ...When I went to the forest,

Abeno: I came to see Aoi off.

Abeno: Their body was cursed by the parasitic shrub, and there was nothing that could be done for their condition.

Sensing their time of death, Aoi said they wanted to search for a place to die while they could still move, and decided to enter the forest.

Page 25

Abeno: Seeing them off was my final job as an employee of the Mononokean.

Ashiya: .....!

Ashiya: .....

Ashiya: ...Then,

Aoi-san is already...

Page 26

Abeno: Somewhere in the forests.

Abeno: ...I say that, but the possibility of them being alive is zero.

Ashiya: That slim, huh... I thought so, but...

Ashiya: Aoi-san really is gone...

(They also became a victim of the parasitic shrub--)

Page 27

Abeno: ...But.

Abeno: No matter how much I search, I can't find a body...

Ashiya: !?

[...That's why.]

Page 28

Abeno: It's cold...

[I'm willing to bet on zero.]

[That idiot wouldn't die.]

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 47

Last time: Winry interrupted Ed’s Sandwich Time, Pride told Al to take a nap, and Bradley got Operation Valkyrie’d. Onwards!

Narrator’s saying how Al was captured by the Goths on Promised Day Eve, and now he’s floating in the Whitespace. Probably not a good sign. A voice (Truth?) tells him to wake up- [Pride]: “It’s too soon for you to die. We aren’t done with you yet. There’s still so much work we have in store for you.” Well. This is going to be a cheerful episode, isn’t it? Episode 47 - “Emissary of Darkness” Way outside of Central there’s a ramshackle village, a bunch of people in rough clothes working the land. Wait why are you asking what the town is called Ed, are you lost? Central is like, clearly visible over the trees. Never mind then, guess this is where Beard’s been hanging out instead of Uncle’s stomping grounds. Sorry dude, but your lunch is getting interrupted by your estranged son and his- I mean, Greedling’s crew. So last time they saw each other it was over Mama Elric’s gravestone while Absentee Anime Father chided Ed for burning down the house. How’s this conversation going to OH SHIT [Beard]: “Edward, I didn’t thi-”

So Beard goes flying from, let’s be honest, a well-deserved punch. I mean we know that he’s on the side of the good guys now, but still. Absentee Anime Father has some explaining to do. Beard’s meeting his son’s new friends ([Lion/Gorilla]: “Ha, no.”), quickly identifies Greedling’s Goth nature and whoosh the Shiny Glasses are back. Eh, this is Beard we’re dealing with after all, guy can’t just give backstory without pulling up his Mysterious Shields. Later that night Beard’s finished storytime, Lion and Gorilla are sitting in shocked silence while Ed struggles with- oooh yeah. He’s spent a large chunk of his life searching for a Philosopher’s Stone to repair his and Al’s bodies, and now learning that he was raised by a “living stone”? Hell, conceived by it. Then Beard offers himself to restore his son’s bodies wat. Oh Leto thank you Ed, the young man’s yelling about how he’s not going to sacrifice innocent souls to fix something that’s their own fault. Beard’s proud to hear his son feels that way. Right, now that everyone’s caught up on the past, what’s going to happen in the future? Apparently there will be a solar eclipse tomorrow that Uncle’s going to “harness for his scheme”. What, is he going to overthrow the Fire Nation? Beard says he needs Ed’s help- [Ed]: “Help you?! Now look here, I’m gonna stop that bearded bastard, but I’m not doing it because you want me to help you! Our best chance at beating this guy is to team up, and that’s the only reason I’m even talking to you right now!” Yeesh. So Ed’s still harboring a lot of ill will towards Beard, storms off after that diatribe as the rest of Greedling’s crew heads off. Except Ed pauses oh yeah Granny asked him to pass on a message, Mama Elric’s final words: [Mama Elric]: “Sorry I couldn’t keep my promise… but I’m dying first.” Argh. And when Ed spins around to keep yelling at Beard, he sees the living Philosopher's Stone staring up at the night sky, crying. Out in the ramshackle village, Ed and the Chimeras are eating while the two men try talking him into giving Beard a chance, maybe ask why he took the Absentee Anime Father route. Ed’s still awfully bitter though, not helped by Greedling jumping into the conversation, pointing out the irony of Ed’s father being his early Quest Item. Ed says there’s more to it than that. Back at the campfire Beard’s thinking about the family picture, when Mama Elric was talking about how someday she’d grow old, that she’d be right there when he left for his Mysterious Mission. But we know how that all turned out. And it has to be said, he’s probably thinking about how he’s one of the most powerful beings in the setting. Maybe he could have healed her illness if he had stayed home? Yes at the cost of using his Philosopher’s Stone blood, but it’s still there. For now, Beard sits talking about how she stayed with him, how he wasn’t there beside- wait. [Beard]: “Tomorrow, ‘Trisha…” DEATH FLAGS WAVE WILDLY Like holy crap, the dude’s sitting by a campfire on his own the night before a big mission, looking at a photo of his dead wife and talking about how he wasn’t around. That’s… wow. Calling it now, Beard’s going to bite it. Taking all bets, I’ll bet Tephi a new book of her choice that Papa Elric will be gone inside of five episodes. The Dramatic String Music is starting up. Ed’s getting red cloth aw buddy why are you going back to your old red cloak? I liked the white outfit, you could have pulled off a good Gandalf.

See, Lion and Greedling agree with me, the Goth of Avarice even calls it flashy. But no, Ed’s all “this may be our final battle”, so he wants to do it in what he considers ‘style’. Fine, just promise no cars this time around. The Greedling Crew’s leaving? What about Beard, the Living Philosopher’s Stone you’re supposed to work with? Ed’s saying that the others can bail if they want ([Greedling]:”Hey now, I’m the boss!”). If they’re after restoring their bodies- [Gorilla]: “These bodies do have their perks. To be honest I really don’t mind staying like this.” [Greedling]: “Hahaha! Yeah, now that’s the spirit!” YES. THANK YOU. So anyway, the Chimeras are all “we’ve got nothing better to do, might as well help save the world” and Greedling’s… not telling Ed why he wants to go back to Central? Eh whatever, after his tiff with Bradley I don’t think he’s going to try and team up with the other Goths again. Wouldn’t put it past him to try and claim the title of Fuhrer in the chaos though. But even if he tries pulling that I think Ling would protest, and he’d have to deal with Roy Mustang (aka the guy who killed Lust) and Armstrong the Great. So yeah, I don’t see that happening. Lion pauses in the road, Ed looks around to see the holdup- Al! Did you get away from… oh no. No glowing red eyes? Walking out a dark, shadowy forest? Seen captured by the Goths and “worked on” by Pride? And yup Ed’s questioning how Al’s here when he was over with Sideburns in the East, and Greedling starts freaking out. Totally-Not-Possessed-Al ever so calmly says he needs to talk with Ed while the Creepy Strings start up, turns towards the forest- Ling yells at Ed to back up. Let me say that again, Ling yells at Ed to get away from the armor. Greed why are you trying to keep Ling from warning Ed? Crap shadows leaking from the armor and SHADOW SPIKES EVERYWHERE, Greedling and the Chimeras just barely dodge before they retract back to the armor, which slowly turns around to face the shocked Crew and then grows way too many eyes. We’ve seen Pride massacre Muggles in the tunnels, hold Riza hostage, chase after Uncle’s counterpart. Now we’ll see him actually fight. Mid-ep pictures of a grumpy Greed and a very unimpressed Grumman. Whaaaa? The Fuhrer’s remains haven’t turned up yet? Why wherever could they HE’S ALIVE DAMNIT. Oh hey General Grumman continues to be competent, he’s personally overseeing the search since he “won’t be able to comfortably sleep at night ‘til I see his corpse with my own eyes”. You go, trope-savvy General. But wait, what about leading the Eastern/Northern forces to Central? Uh. Hmmm. Well. Seems that General Grumman’s conniving extends to his “allies” as well. He just “has” to stay and oversee the search for the Fuhrer, meaning his troops are stuck with him. If Roy and Armstrong the Great make their move now, Bradley’s still-intact leadership (along with Uncle) will capture them. Then Grumman can step in to fill the power gap. [Grumman]: “They’ll take the fall as enemies of the state, while General Grumman will heroically come riding in on a white horse. I’ll let the youngsters dive head-first into danger and do all the dirty work. And then I’ll take my rightful place as leader of this country without any risk.” Holy shit. So Grumman is actually a conniving old schemer who plans to use the good guys to make his own power play. Not quite as bad as Raven, but damnit man I liked you. Thankfully Sideburns suspects Grumman’s motive and is withholding his trust. Back to Greedling’s Crew and Armored!Pride. Greedling confirms that it’s his “oldest brother” piloting the armor now, Pride shows off Al’s sigil. So now Ed has to fight his unconscious brother, and hold his punches so he doesn’t disrupt the sigil. This isn’t going to be easy. But at least he has backup- [Gorilla, hiding behind a tree with Lion]: “Our animal instincts are telling us to stay the hell away from that thing.” [Lion]: “It’d probably be smart for you to run too!” Well, this is the First Goth. It’s not really fair for me to expect them to fight it, even Toad and Boar kept to the sides against Envy. But Ed can still fight, and since he’s a Sacrifice then Pride can’t land any killing blows. Unfortunately Pride knows that, and that people can survive without all of their limbs… Pride’s just standing there as shadow blades strike all around the dodging Ed, who’s talking about keeping the Goth away from the slums. He Earthbends up a wall but Pride just smashes right through it and YIKES thank goodness Ling had his Ultimate Shield or he’d be dead, but Pride just latches on to his limbs and tells Ed to stand down or he’ll hurt Ling and the villagers. But Ed’s smiling? [Ed]: “I think it’s about time I start winning some of these fights for a change!” He transmutes the ground wait there are sparks heading straight toward the village OH! Well, it kinda sucks in the long-term that Ed shorted out their electric grid, but for the short term? No bright lights means… well it would mean no shadows if it wasn’t for the moon and stars. Or not? Apparently the moonlight is so weak that there aren’t any shadows near the forest anymore, all of Pride’s limbs vanish. Ed and Greedling exposit that they can’t see anything in the darkness, but Pride can’t cast without the strong light-source. What’s this about Pride’s shadow? Oh, so he’s controlling the armor by touching the armor’s shadow! Meaning that Pride’s just inside the tree-line, and Al’s armor is free from his influence. Quick, grab it! Oooh, but this means that our heroes are going to have to fight, maybe even kill an apparent child. Yeesh. Anyways, apparently the sky is “completely overcast” so that resolves the moon/star issue nicely. For now, Pride waits- Lion! Haha, looks like their noses are all better after Ed’s chemistry lesson. Holy Leto Lion is just unloading on Pride, the Goth chides him for attacking a child but Lion yells that he knows full well what Pride actually is, along with his animal instincts that are blaring “WRONG WRONG KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS YOU”. Outside the trees Ed and Gorilla meet up, the chimera says they need to book it. But what about Al? He should be free from Pride’s control now, without shadows to manipulate it should be safe to grab the armor and run. But Gorilla urges caution. Moving along the trees they run into Greedling who’s wondering how they tracked him down LOOK OUT GLUTTONY! So just as Lion’s using his superhuman smell and sight to hunt down Pride, Gluttony’s been used for his enhanced sense of smell to track down Greedling. Who tells Gorilla to start fighting? Dude this is Gluttony, if anything you’re the best equipped to fight him seeing how Ling took the first edition down way back when. Except yeah Greedling doesn’t have the sight or smell to fight in the dark. Fight well, Gorilla! Holy Leto he’s actually fighting well, Gluttony’s getting tossed around- [Gorilla]: “Now for the final blow!” *WHAM* [Ed]: “Why, Mister Gorilla? Weren’t we sticking close to avoid attacking each other?” Ah. Never mind then. Greedling’s thinking over how Gluttony’s got the upper hand in the dark, and they’re all screwed when the lights come back on for Pride. Except ha! Like I said, Ling’s the best counter for Gluttony as he can sense the Goth and beat him once before. Let him CRAP Ling just lost an arm oh right Goth so he could regrow his limb (sorry, souls that got used up for that fix). Wait can Ling access the Ultimate Shield? Let’s come back to that, thankfully doesn’t need it right now as Ling’s fancy Xing martial arts are knocking Gluttony down. Greed even compliments him, impressive. But now Gluttony’s mad, and oh yeah he can do that whole pseudo Gate of Truth thing. Look out for the Eraser Gun! And now Ed’s the one who can’t see the danger, Ling and Gorilla can only talk ominously about “something bad coming”- Flash of someone running by? Beard finally catch up with the group and die heroically? Wait. Wait wait WAIT. Flashes of a speedy figure, metal blades that slice through Gluttony- EASTERN MUSIC STARTING UP OH LETO PLEASE TELL ME FUCK. YES. [Ling]: “I’m glad to see you’re ok. I was wondering when you’d find me, Lan-Fan.” The ninjas are back, baby! With a badass upgrade!

[saymypiece]

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob! 

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to 

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. 

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already! 

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months ! 

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Prompt: ‘I don’t care, you’re not even my real Dad’ Seb says that to Aaron after a huge fight and it breaks Aaron’s heart. But Robert makes him see sense at how much Aaron loves him and it’s never ok to say that.

Robert finds him at the scrapyard, slumped in the seat of a beat up old Corsa, not unlike the one Robert used to drive. It’s been in the yard as long as Robert can remember, long enough for Seb to have played in it when he was tiny, now heading towards being old enough to drive.

“Get in.” He orders, through the window of his car, the tone one he’d never had to use before. He’d had to drive around the village a couple of times to calm down before he’d let himself look for him.

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m your father and I told you to. Sebastian, I mean it. Get in.” He never called him that, it had always been Seb, but then he’d never been this mad before. As slow as he possibly can Seb drags his tall frame from the car and drags his feet through the gravel until he reaches the car. “Put your seatbelt on.”

He doesn’t speak, just speeds out of the yard and out of the village, not stopping until they’re up on the old farm, the old tracks unused now, they won’t be disturbed.

“You want to tell me why I found Aaron in tears when I got home?” He’s at least glad to see a flicker of something at his words. He’d got home, wanting nothing more than to have a night on the sofa watching mindless TV, to find Aaron sitting at the kitchen table, eyes red and sleeves pulled over his hands a sure giveaway that something was wrong.

“Didn’t he tell you?”

“Not the details. Just said I needed to find you, but he’d been crying. So, either you tell me or I’ll go back and get it out of him.” It wasn’t good, he knew that much. He hadn’t seen Aaron in a state like that for years so whatever it was, it was bad.

“He’s always on at me, about school and stuff.”

“Us parents are boring like that. Full story Seb or we go home right now.” He watches as he twists his fingers into his school sweater over and over, obviously nervous. 

“You won’t be mad?”

“Can’t promise that, but if you tell me, I’ll try and understand, and then we’ll sort it out, yeah?”

“I wanted to go out. Mark’s having a party at his house tomorrow night and Aaron said I couldn’t go.” He’s not heard Seb call him by his name for years, not since he started school in fact. Aaron was Papa, he was Dad.

“Not on a school night, you know the rules. Go on.” He checked his watch quickly, had promised to text Aaron when he found him but he didn’t want to stop Seb telling him what had happened.

“Isaac’s going.” Robert rolls his eyes, Seb’s hero worship of Isaac was a lot cuter when he was little and he’d follow him round the village hanging on his every word. Now though, Isaac’s ability to lead Seb astray wasn’t fun at all.

“What Cain and Moira let him do is nothing to do with me and Aaron. You’ve got exams soon enough, so you’ll stick to the rules. Now tell me what happened because that wouldn’t have Aaron in the state I found him in.”

“Was he really upset?”

“Yes. Now stop stalling and tell me.”

“I said he couldn’t tell me what to do.” He glances sideways at Robert, and he knows before Seb even says it. “I told him he wasn’t my real Dad, so he couldn’t stop me doing anything.”

It’s not as if it’s the first time Seb’s pushed back against them. Only last month he’d told Robert he hated him for something or other, forgotten about within a couple of days, but this was different.

He doesn’t say anything, because he’s speechless for once in his life, and he doesn’t want to lose his temper, so he just starts the car, reversing away from the farm.

“Where are we going?”

“Home, and you’re going to apologise.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Did I ever tell you about the first time Aaron held you?” Seb already knew what had gone on back then. You can’t live in Emmerdale without someone gossiping. “You were about three months old and I was losing my mind because your Mum was ill and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Trying to take care of you, run a business on my own and I was falling apart. I took you to work with me one day and you would not stop crying. Aaron was there, and at the end of my tether I asked him to hold you.”

“So?”

“You know what happened, me and your Mum, that Aaron and I broke up...I can’t imagine how much it took for him to hold you back then, but he did, and you stopped crying straight away, smiling up at him and gurgling at him like you’d been there all your life. Aaron’s been your Dad for a lot longer than either of us realised it.” Seb doesn’t say anything and Robert knows him well enough to know that he’s feeling guilty. “What did he say, when you said what you did?”

“Nothing. He just stared at me. He didn’t even tell me off.”

“Because what you said...for a long time he thought that, that he wasn’t really your Dad, that he didn’t get a say or whatever. So he’s probably...no he is hurting, and I know you, so I know that you didn’t really mean it. You’re too like me, when you’re hurting you lash out at people.” He sighs as he pulls the car to a stop outside Mill. “Is there something else going on?”

Seb doesn’t answer, just slams out of the car making Robert wince even though he’s used to the teenager mood swings. Maybe it’s karma for him being a nightmare at that age. Whatever it is he hopes it comes to an end quickly enough.

When he gets inside Seb’s nowhere to be seen and Aaron’s just sitting at the table. He looks better than he had an hour ago which is something.

“Where is he?”

“His room.”

“I told him to apologise.” He has one hand on the bannister before Aaron speaks, telling him to leave it. “I don’t want to leave it. He can’t say that Aaron, I won’t have it. You’re his Dad and I’m not having you upset like this.”

“You and I both remember being his age Robert. It hurt, I admit that, way more than I thought it would, but it’s Seb, he’s not cruel.”

“So what do we do?”

“I’m going to talk to him in a minute, see if I can’t get through to him if you had no luck. You can go and fetch Ella from her dance class or she’ll try walking home again.”

“Why did we raise such independent minded kids again?” Aaron chuckles and pushes him towards the door.

Before he goes upstairs he makes two mugs of tea, just how Seb likes them. His bedroom door is open and he’s lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.

“Can I come in?” He gets a half shrug which is good enough. “Here, just how you like it. Not that weak muck your Dad makes.”

“Thanks.” Aaron sets it down and sits on the floor next to the bed.

“You feel like talking?” Seb shakes his head. “Hmm, I will then. Someone said something to you? At school I bet? About how I don’t love you as much, or I can’t be your Dad, or some rubbish like that?”

“Tyler. Said wasn’t it weird, and how you must love Ella more.” Seb always tries to act so grown up and cool, but right now he looks like a little boy again and it makes Aaron’s heart ache that even for a second he might believe it was true.

“Well clearly Tyler’s an idiot. So, you thought he must be right and lashed out at me so I’d prove him right?”

“S’pose so.” He slurps his tea, a habit picked up from Aaron that Robert hates. It just makes the two of them do it all the more. 

“I did wonder, back when your Dad and I were apart, whether I could love you, because it did hurt, what happened.”

“Dad said you held me when I was little and I smiled at you.”

“Yeah, you did. Every time I wanted to put you down or give you to him you’d start crying again. Right little pain you were. Can’t think where you got that from.” He shifts so he’s facing Seb properly. “Listen to me, I love you, I couldn’t love you more ok? I told you Dad once that you snuck up and made me love you and I was right.”

“But...”

“Do you think your Granddad Paddy loves me any less, or differently because I don’t have any of his genes?” Seb shook his head. “There you are then. I love you and Ella the same ok? Always have.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t, but you were hurting. Tyler or whoever doesn’t know the first thing about our family, ok?” Seb nods, and all but throws himself at Aaron for a hug, a rare enough occurrence these days. “Right, you’re on potato duty then for tea.”

“But...” He waves his hand at his school books scattered over the desk. 

“But nothing. You weren’t bothered about that when you wanted to go to this party were you? Come on, quicker they’re peeled the quicker you can get back to it.”

“And the party?”

“Nice try.”

[paradisobound]

Puppy Love

12 Days of Ficmas: Day 6

Summary: Dan and Phil’s daughter Macey has been asking for a puppy for a while. So they decide to adopt a puppy for Christmas. 

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: None 

[Read on Ao3]

“Macey has been wanting a puppy for a while.” Phil says one night while he and Dan are laying in bed. “She’s been dropping hints every day for a while now.” 

Dan turns on his side and Phil looks down at him from where he sat on his phone. He’s been looking at the websites of the local animal shelters to see what puppies and dogs that they had. They were looking to adopt, not shop. 

“She’s thirteen, Phil.” Dan comments. “Do you think we should really give her the responsibility of a puppy?” 

Phil adjusted his glasses on the edge of his nose and pushed them back to the bridge. “Well, that’s the thing.” He says. “I think Mace will do fine with a puppy. She’s very responsible already. So I guess I don’t see the real harm of adopting a puppy. Plus, it’s not like she’ll be the only one taking care of it. We’d have it be a family dog.” 

Dan nods slowly and Phil can see the expression on his face means that he’s concentrating on what Phil is saying. 

“Do you think we’re ready to have a puppy?” 

“Dan, we raised Macey just fine.” 

Phil watched as Dan chuckled and snuggled further into the sheets. 

“Let’s sleep on it.” Dan finally says, his voice groggy.

Phil locks the screen on his phone and sets it on the nightstand next to the bed. He snuggles down and gives Dan a quick kiss before he says goodnight and shuts his eyes. 

***

“You know, papa, Gemma’s mum got her a puppy for her thirteenth birthday. But since my birthday is in May, maybe you can get me a puppy for Christmas!” 

Phil looked up from his coffee to see Macey standing in the kitchen in his school uniform, making herself a bowl of cereal. Dan was already gone to work at the BBC but Phil doesn’t leave for work until after Macey is on her way. 

“Hmm?” Phil says, taking a sip of his coffee. “We’ll see.” Macey stomped her foot and Phil gave her an eyebrow raise and she stopped. “Mace,” He began, “A puppy is a lot of responsibility and so it’s something we really need to think about. We still have a month before Christmas.” 

Macey looked up at him and her expression softened and she nodded. “Okay.” 

Phil smiled at her. “I’ll talk with your dad tonight about it.” 

Macey’s lips turned into a massive grin and she jumped up and down in her spot. 

“But that doesn’t mean anything!” Phil said, making sure that was clear. “You know your dad can be stubborn.” 

Macey nodded again and finished pouring the milk into her cereal. “I know!” She said, clearly getting excited already.

Phil let her finish her breakfast so she could get to school on time and he in return finished his coffee and then packed himself his lunch before he also headed to the BBC for his shift. 

***

“I reckon we’re gonna have to get Mace a puppy now.” 

“Phil, what did you do?” 

Dan was in the shower and Phil was taking out his contacts at the bathroom sink in preparation for bed. 

“Well, she dropped hints about the puppy earlier this morning before she left for school and I kind of said that I would talk to you about it.” 

“Phil…” 

Phil removed his second contact lens and put it in the pod before turning the sink on and washing his hands. “I know!” He said quickly, grabbing his glasses and putting them on before grabbing his toothbrush. “But I didn’t promise her a puppy. I just said I’d talk to you about it.” 

“Then we don’t have to worry.” 

The water to the shower turned off and Phil turned the tap on again to wet his toothbrush. Dan stepped out and grabbed a towel, tying it around his waist. He grabbed another towel and began to dry his hair. 

Phil brushed his teeth and then rinsed off his toothbrush as Dan stood next to him and did the same. 

“I think we should get her a puppy, Dan.” Phil says seriously. “You know what it’s like to be a teenager and to want a pet and your parent’s either don’t think you can handle it or they don’t want to deal with it. Well, we know Macey would love the thing like it was her child and we also know we’re going to too. We always did say we wanted a dog. Maybe this is the way we can do so.” 

Dan spit out his toothpaste and turned on the tap to rinse his toothbrush off. He put his toothbrush in the holder and Phil wanted for his response. Dan turned to face him. “A dog is a lot of work.” 

“And a child wasn’t?” Phil commented. 

Dan sighed. “Are you sure we should do this?” 

“I think I’m gonna go to the local animal shelter tomorrow.” 

Dan nodded. “Okay.” He walked away from the bathroom and nodded. “Okay. Yeah, we can go quickly after work tomorrow.” 

Phil smiled at him and Dan smiled back. 

When he went back to the bedroom, they exchanged a few quick kisses before falling asleep. 

***

“No no no no no!” 

Phil watched as Dan chased after the newest family member who the shelter had called Mani. He was a 3-year-old mutt that the shelter said had some form of terrier in it and also some Shih Tzu. He had the energy of a puppy, very fast and very agile. The shelter had, thankfully, held Mani for them so they could pick him up Christmas morning but the new pup was already a spry thing. 

Dan had been chasing him all morning around the house while Macey slept, trying to keep him quiet. The little pupper just slipped out of their grips every time. Phil tried to help at first but now he just can’t help but laugh as Dan chases the tiny dog around the house. 

Thank goodness the shelter told him Mani was house broke and also didn’t appear to chew on anything but his toys. Dan and Phil had went to the shelter every evening to play with Mani and so when they came to pick him up, he’d practically ran for them as Dan put him on a lead and then they finished filling out the papers. 

Trying to hide all of the new dog stuff was hard. They picked up the food and the new toys but kept them in their closet although Macey could tell their suspicious behavior. 

Dan had finally caught Mani and was holding him in his arms as Phil walked over and put the little bow around his neck on his collar. It was a pet safe one and they weren’t going to leave it on him long anyway. 

They could hear the floor creaking and footsteps down the stairs so Dan walked with Mani into the kitchen to hide. Macey walked around the corner, her brown hair a little messy and her pajamas a little disheveled. 

“Where’s dad?” She asked. 

Phil smiled at her. “Merry Christmas, honey.” 

Macey furrowed her brows but then Dan walked out, Mani in hand and Macey’s face instantly fell before she ran over to Dan 

“This is Mani.” Dan said, handing him over to her. 

Phil could see Macey was on the verge of crying as she took Mani from Dan and held the small fur-baby in her arms. “I love him so much.” She said sniffling. “Thank you for the perfect Christmas gift.” 

Dan and Phil both smiled at her. “He’s not your only gift.” Phil mentioned. “We did get you other things as well.” 

When they went into the living room, Macey set down Mani who played around with the scrap wrapping paper and tore it apart. They had given her some of the other things they knew she wanted like some Body Shop lotions and such, but they also wrapped a few dog toys for Mani and as soon as she opened them, she immediately gave them to Mani who played right along with her. 

Dan and Phil but stood back and watched as she bonded with Mani. Macey would pick him up and cuddled him to her chest while giving him kisses and he would return the kisses back. And from that point on, Phil was sure that those two were going to inseparable. 

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA AU [self insert]

Nani the heck is this? read here!

Chapter 1: *plays Joji’s Yeah Right*

“...and heres your living quarters, fully furnished and with groceries that’ll last a while” said my case worker as I meekly followed next to them.

“thank you! its really nice.” I said, trying to not sound sad.

“I know its tough being young and by yourself, but I believe in you Miss Palma! Don’t hesitate to give us a call if you have questions or need other arrangments.”

“thank you for your kind words, I’ll keep that in mind” I said as politely as I could because I knew I wasn’t going to call them for shit. “Ill get my luggage out of my car, its not much so I’ll be fine if you need to leave”

“oh alright, Ill leave you to settling in and remember that a UA staff will be coming by with your uniforms tomorrow in the afternoon.”

oh jeez I forgot about that, not looking forward to get fat shamed in this country, let alone by a school staff. “oh right! it almost slipped my mind that here you wear uniforms in high school! hehe thank you for the reminder!”

“no problem! Bye bye”

oof! I was getting tired of pretending to be polite to that case worker. The past 3 months has been tough with the whole being sent away from my family and finding a school with nearby housing. At least I can sleep well without thinking where I’ll end up next. I unpack my 3 suitcases of clothes, personal belongings, cosmetics and other nessities. I take out my framed photo of my family and place it on my bed stand, I miss them and the doggos. I try not to cry and continue to put my things away. I made myself dinner, took a bath and laid in bed; and I’m thinking if I should call my parents to tell them I got settled. I checked the time, it was 4am their time, I sent a text instead. 

[Hola mama y papa! ya estoy en mi apartamento, es muy lindo. Llama me cuando puedas, te extrano mucho y tambien a los doggos!]

I haven’t talked to my parents in a week because of the whole phone arrangement and being too busy with the entrance exam. Now I guess I’ll sleep and do some school supply shopping after meeting with the staff member.

-the next day-

Its saturday and its gloomy out and I wake up thinking, great! even the sky knows its going to be a rough day today! I get dressed, eat and gluzzle down my daily 2 cups of coffee. I scroll through my private social media handles to check on my friends, looks like they’re having fun, without me. I suck in the tears because I know DAMN well they’re sad I’m gone too. I distract myself with memes and I think maybe I should make some tea? and some cookies too? do i even have tea? I go through the cupboads and pantry, the case worker wasn’t kidding when they said that I had groceries that’ll last a while! I had 2 different types of tea, dry pastas, canned goods, snacks and some traditional ingredients for japanese and mexican cusine. I go searching for a kettle or teapot and I find a juicer in the way back of the top cupboard. There was a note on the juicer that said ‘to the next tenant, my wife didn’t want to take this big, messy thing to our next place, hope you find use out of this!’ I laugh at the idea that there was probably a lovers quarral over the juicer. I make tea and some green juice, just so I can get rid of the bundle of kale in the fridge, I hate kale. I make some cookies too but its just so I can get my mind off things since I was so nervous on meeting this staff member. Right on the dot, at 3pm, theres a knock at my door. I look through the peep hole and I see this woman with blue eyes and dark purple-ish, black hair in busniess causal attire. I open the door and put on my best ‘everything is ok’ face.

“hello! are you Miss Palma?”

“yes I am! are you the UA staff member with the uniforms?”

“I am! its so nice to meet you, I am Kayama sensei or better know as Midnight”

“Midnight? Ok um, would you like to come inside?”

“oh yes, thank you! Now I understand that you live alone?” she said as she walked in to the apartment.

“yes thats correct, I got here yesterday and settled in”

“oh wow, and at such a young age! Well If you need anything or need to talk about anything thats bothering you, please let me know! This whole you being separated from family and home worries me” She said in the most sincer tone that I almost started crying. I haven’t heard single person talk to me so genuinely since I left America and I need a trusted adult to help me, I heavily considered her offer.

“oh thank you for your offer, I might need some help in a few weeks BUT for now, may I offer you some tea? coffee? green juice? maybe some cookies?”

“green? juice? whats in it? I’ve never heard of green juice before”

“oh right! its a California health culture thing. Its the juice of pinapple, apple, kale, lemon and cucumber. The combination of the fruits and vegetables is for a healthy disgestive system and energy for before or after exersize”

“that sounds tasty! Ill have green juice please”

I serve her the juice and sit across from her in the living room. I see the clothing bags and think that thats alot of clothing bags just to give me 3 sets of uniforms. She drinks the juice and wanted to say something about my expression when I saw the bags but her eyes widened and she looked at the cup of juice.

“OH MY GOODNESS! this is the best and freshest juice I’ve ever had NO JOKE! You said this is a thing where you’re from? I need to invest in a juicer to make this at home!” she said so shocked and I was surprised to recieve the praise like I invented the juice.

“I’m glad you like it! Its like a little slice of my hometown to me to you” 

“oh? ok back to business! I see you eyeing the uniforms, you want to try them on? I brought some sizes up and down from the given mesurements.”

“um ok sure! Let me take these to try on in my room, ill be right out”

I take the bags to my room and I zip them open and I see the white collared shirts, gray blazer looking thing and skirts. I think oh jeez my ass is definately not gonna fit in these bitches. I put on the shirt and blazer that best fit and lastly the skirt, SUPRIZE! you can see my ass cheeks hanging out from the bottom. I walk out of the room to Midnight.

“ok so I found a shirt and top that fits well on me BUT the skirt...” and I turn around and show her my exposed ass cheeks peeking underneath.

“oh dear, thats definately not in regulation! Ok so you need a longer skirt? like... another 6 inches?” she said as she takes out a measuring tape from her purse.

“um yea, if thats doable”

“it is but we won’t have that ready until the 1st day of classes, so I guess for now, try on the pants and see if any of those fit”

Great. I’m going into a new school, misgendered and foreign passing. 2 of the pants in the clothes bag fit well....too well. We said our good byes and I had at least 2 sets of uniforms ready until I get a proper pair. No matter, at least my ass won’t be hanging out at school. I go school supply shopping and came upon the holy grail of stationary, SCENTED PAPER AND GLITTER PENS. Of course in the pastel rainbow colors and matching lead pencils. I get a whole matching set along with a backpack, water bottle and coffee tumbler. I was going to soon regret that matching set (more on that later) but I was just SO happy that I was pink, pretty and sparkly. 

-Fast forward to the 1st day-

I was in a much better mood because the sun was out, the coffee smelled particularly good, I made myself look cute but toned down for a good 1st day impression. I grab my keys and think I think I’m forgeting one detail? What could it be? and I thought Oh! I need to text my parents that I’m happy and I’m going to school now! I am noticably happy that the nice front desk lady of my housing noticed and wished me luck on my 1st day. I get in my car and I have 1 hour to get to school but its only a 8 minute drive and I wanted to circle to find parking and see where the entrance is so I can teleport from wherever I parked. I pass the gates before seeing the parking and I think oh cool its just right there! but Ill still teleport in the front. I park and I don’t even get out of my car, I just hug my backpack and teleport in front of the gates. I start walking toward the gates and try to not smile like an idiot but I start to notice all the looks and stares. And I think oh they just don’t recongize me because I look foreign or didn’t see me at the entrance exams. As a enter the 1st year doors I hear 

‘yo you see that guy? he looks as pretty as a girl! Guess his favorite color is baby pink? Are they wearing eyeliner? I wonder how long is his hair? That bun is tastful, no homo tho!’

I FORGOT THAT PANTS ARE THE BOY’S UNIFORM AND MY SKIRTS ARE STILL BEING TAILORED! I socially already fucked up, guess I won’t be making friends anytime soon. But I guess I’m glad they think I’m a pretty girl in the boy’s uniform? I walk up to the table at the furthest hall on the right that says International Student Check In thats me. I get greeted by a man with a boombox looking thing on their neck, black pants and jacket, small triangle sunnies and yellow hair. 

“HEEYYY welcome to UA!”

“oh thank you! I am Itati Palma, American student”

“okay lets see, palma palma paruma AH found you! OH YOURE THAT JAZZY SAX GIRL THAT TURNED HERO!”

oh jeez who put that on my record?! “hehehe yea thats me”

“coolio jazzy girl! Heres your schedule, pins and a note from Midnight”

“pins?”

“yeeeaahh! pins to put on your uniform to let other students and staff where youre from and get to know you better!”

I open the small manila pouch into my hand and two pins fall into my palm, the American and Mexican flag. I look at them and tried not to cry, I missed my home and chill life in Cali.

“hey hey! your classes are on the 3 hall on the right, door all the way down.”

“oh right!” that snapped me out of my sentiment, “thank you again! Mr?”

“they call me Mic sensei”

“Mic? ok thanks!”

I walk quickly to my classroom, I get to the outside of the door and think welp, heres to 3 years of being called pretty boy and other dumb shit. I open the door and I see 9 desks and 5 people already there. Oh jeez, what a small class size but at least nobody is staring at me. I sit in the middle seat, though I prefer the front desk but they were already claimed! Guess classroom culture is different here too. In front of me was a boy to what I thought was a Japanese native until they turned and I caught a glimpse of their pin, they’re Korean! They noticed my pins too and had a confused look as they gave me a once over.

“You’re an...american? and mexican? You traveled quite a ways”

“um yeah hehe, I am Itati Palma by the way!”

“hmm, nice to meet you Palma-san, I’m Jin Matsui”

“nice to meet you too!”

Before I could ask them where in Korea are they from, the door slammed open. A tall and muscular white-blonde girl walked in, I tried so hard not to stare at them but they looked so tough and wondered if that’s part of their quirk. She sat behind me and Jin and I turned around to get a better look at them. I saw their pins, the Russian and Japanese flag, shes also a foreign student. She looked up with a death stare at me and Jin but then her eyes widened and she smiled. 

“ah! fellow foreigners! Hello!” she spoke in a predominate Russian accent that matches so well with her image.

“um yeah! Hello, I’m Itati Palma”

“Hi, and I’m Jin Matsui”

“Palma-san and Matsui-san?Milana Mikhalia Oleshin, very nice to meet you!”

Oh my! A long and hard to pronounce name, I guess we aren’t at nickname or first name basis yet for everything to go smoother. I turn to my bag because I got a text, its my parents!

[Hola mija! Que bien que estas feliz hoy! Te amo y ponde bien en tus studias, dios te bendiga.]

Oh mom, you have no idea how bad I had it earlier. I look around and see everyone has nice, canvas school bags and I have my baby pink one with a puppy on it. And everyone had normal stationary and you can smell and see mine from across the hall. Oof, what I’d give to redo today. I look at my schedule and see that I have a short school day this semester.

Palma, Itati (F) (International)                             Intelligence Core Program [1-A]

Homeroom......9a-10am..........................................Intelligence Wing, room 1-A

Weaponery.......10:15am-11:50am.........................................Gym

Hero Course [Ethics and Laws].....12p-1:15p...........Hero Wing, room 1-A

Free Period.........2:50p-3:30p.......................................TBA

Intelligence Course[Statistics&Strategy]3:45p-4:40p..Intelligence Wing,room 3-A

Seems like a reasonable schedule, better than America. I didn’t know that Oleshin-san was peeking over my shoulder to read my schedule.

“YOURE THE GIRL THAT TESTED OUT OF GENERAL STUDIES?!”

I jumped in my seat “um yea?”

“I heard about you! The staff and school district are boasting that they got the potentially genius level international students. They said that theres 2 of them here at UA and they are jumping straight into course work! One has placed college level English and 3rd year Level Strategtic Thinking! And thats you!”

Jin turns around, looking bootytickled “erm, what? Let me see your schedule.”

He scans and compares it to his “well theres proof that you are one of those students, but then again, so am I”

I take a look at his, almost identical except they’re not taking the hero course, but second year english. What a weird turn of events that I’d be in the same class as other international students in the same school arrangments? I guess they’re my friends now.

A clean cut man in a blue jumpsuit with multiple patches on the arms opens the door. I just knew they were our teacher, it shows that he’s been through it all and has wisdom to bestow upon us. 

“Hello, good morning students, if you could all take your seats so I can get things started”

Everyone fell into place and was attentive.

“Welcome to the Intelligence Program, You can call me Diya sensei, I’m a retired secret service of Japan better known as Agent 99 code name ‘Space Cowboy’”

I tried so hard not to laugh at that code name, I wondered why he was called that. Maybe his quirk?

“Now to take roll, say present when I say your name”

He finished roll and said “huh, 3 international students? I expect impeccable work from you three. I won’t slow down for you”

I somehow wasn’t scared of that statement. Before moving on to explaining the coursework and lessons, a lizard bolted from the window and to Diya sensei. He let out one of the most high pitched yelps and retreated to the corner. How can a man so sharp and decorated, be reduced to a crying mess over a lizard? Matsui-san captures the fast lizard and wraps it in his gym towel to take outside after homeroom. Sensei regains his composure and continues class like nothing happened. After homeroom, we all had weaponery but we didn’t get to use any gear or weapons yet. Instead we got measured for our jumpsuits and PE clothes plus got settled in the locker rooms. To my surprise it was co-ed locker rooms since it was a small class size and only 3 girls. Everyone was respectful of eachother’s bodies and privacy. Next I was supposed to go to the ethics class but in Midnight’s note, she said that I start that class on Wednesday so for the time being, I have to report to the staff room to meet with them. I go to the staff room and on the way I see a class doing drills with quirks outside, it looked fun and everyone looked so focused. I get to the staff room and Midnight hands me my tailored skirts and 3rd set of uniform. I also got to know the other teachers and staff including the principal, a big ass fuckin rat. I was about to punt that bitch when they opened the door if they didn’t start talking. Other than that, it was a nice time and then there was lunch. I walked in the cafeteria and saw the long ass lines and said ‘fuck that’, so I teleported to my car and ate my packed food in there. Next was my free period, Midnight said that it was alright for me to wander around campus so I can get to know the place better so I can teleport from class to class. I wander around without my bag, just my phone and schedule with school map folded in my pocket. I go to the hero wing to find the 1-A room, nobody was in there, maybe its gym time for them? I pass by a group of 3 upper classmen, A boy with black hair and pointy ears, a taller boy with lemon colored hair and a girl with long sky blue hair. They all looked at me as I passed by and I felt intimidated because they have a strong presence to them but I didn’t know why or how. I hid behind the corner and heard them talking about me,

“did you see that? I made accidental eye contact and I think I’m going to be sick”

“hmm, do you think thats the international student Mirio? They had an american flag pin”

“Maybe? Theres no description of them other than they’re American and a 1st year in the Intelligence program”

“wait, sceret service? I thought they saved their school from a gang by disabling the leader? Why are we interested in her again Mirio?”

“She’s a true hero Amajiki! We could learn alot from her and maybe change their mind to be a hero, like they were meant to be”

What the heck was that Lemon boy going off about? A hero? Change my mind? Learn from me? I turned the corner to tell them off but they were gone and I wasn’t about to go looking for them. I wander some more and the bell rings and a swarm of students come out of their classrooms, I couldn’t naviagate around and I think, guess Ill teleport, BUT THEN I COULDN’T! Like when I was acting up back home and my mom would use her erasure quirk on me to prevent me from escaping. But my mom couldn’t be here!? Then what the fuck is going on? Then a man’s voice from behind me spoke,

“are you lost young lady?”

I turn around and I’m shaking in fear before I even see this mystery man. I see him and he’s a tall, dark long haired with eye bags. I knew right away he was the one who erased my quirk, his eyes glowed the same way my mom did when she activated her quirk. Mom i thought and how much I missed her and I couldn’t hold back my tears this time. I cried in front of this man I just met. He arched his brow then gazed his eyes on my flag pins. He gasped and deactivated his quirk.

“oh no I’m sorry Miss! I didn’t mean to scare you to tears, are you alright?”

I stammered “um uhhhh -sniff- I’m, I’m ok! um I’ll just leave” 

“no please, let me escort you to your next class, I feel terrible for making you cry. Especially on the 1st day”

I felt sort of better when he offered, I let him walk with me.

“you didn’t scare me, I cried because you and my mother have the same quirk and looking at your glowing eyes reminded me of her and how much I miss her”

“oh! same quirk you say? Were you a trouble maker?”

“nah, I would try to teleport away when it was time to do housework when I was younger and she’d disable my quirks so I couldn’t escape and HAD to do chores”

He laughed “what a woman! Say, your not from around here huh?”

“nope, I’m from America with hispanic roots”

“OH! you’re an ethnic American! That’s why you have two flags.”

“yup, I got here about a week ago and settled about 3 days ago”

“yeah, Midnight told me about you. You’re a very unique indivdual, how are your classes so far?”

“nothing interesting yet”

“well hopefully things pickup soon, oh i think this is your wing”

“um oh yea it is, thank you for walking me over, Mr?”

“Mr Aizawa, or better known as Eraserhead”

“Eraserhead? um ok thanks again!”

“no problem, see you wednesday”

“wednesday?”

“yea, I’m the Hero Course ethics teacher. See you then!”

Then this man deadass walks away after dropping that bomb on me? What a legend, can’t wait to sit in his class. My last class was more up my alley and the upperclassmen were so nice that I didn’t feel any different from them. I walked to my car to reflect on all the shit that happened today and what I am going to do to make school bearable. The drive to my place was pleasant but I saw a bunch of students walking together like they just became friends and wanted to spend more time together. I felt a little lonely when I got home, I remembered when I was in america and I would talk to my friends after school and how they’d wait for me after band practice to hang out. I took off my uniform and hanged up my new ones and had one really good cry. I haven’t cried that hard in months and it was much needed for my mental health. I washed up and ate and tried to just forget all the dumb shit of the day when I laid down to sleep.

-fast foward to Wednesday-

“hey Palma-san! did you do the online homework for stats and strats?”

“yee, did you?” I said knowing damn well what Matsui-san was going to say.

“psh! course I did, I was just making sure you did it so you might have something to do during free period”

“HEY! T-posing through the halls IS a viable thing to do! I was studying where everthing is on campus for future use”

“IS NOT WHEN YOU LEVITATE AND SCREECH IN THE BOYS BATHROOM WHILE I’M IN THERE!”

Before I could retort back, Oleshin-san butted in,

“aye Palma-san, you excited for your hero course class?”

“oof yee, the teacher is kinda hot”

“I SAW and I’m jealous! You have to tell me if the boys in that class are hot too!”

“ugh, don’t you two have better things to talk about than butts and boys?”

“I’m so excited tho! To meet anybody thats outside our program and learning new things?! I just hope they like me, I even made them cookies”

“Palma-san nani the heck!? I want a cookie”

“You guys can get a cookie during lunch if theres any leftovers”

I quickly change after weapons class and bolt to the hero wing. I walk down the hall and I’m really feeling nervous! I look at my coffee tumbler and felt calmer as I took a sip. Ok Ita, you can do this, no chickening out now I psych myself up as I stand in front of the door. I open the door, expecting everyone to be strewn about and talking...nope. I walk in and everyone is in their seats and sensei was standing up in the front and I disrupted them. Everyone was staring and I instantly get flushed and I check to make sure I was in the right classroom and said,

“did I fuck up?”

“no actually I was just talking about you, perfect timing!” said Aizawa with a smile. “why don’t you come up and introduce yourself?”

“um ok” I said as I scanned the room. I got up to the front, chugged down my coffee for dominance, did a quick spin for drama and put on my ‘I swear I slept a normal amount of sleep last night’ face. 

“Hi hello~ My name is Itati Palma and I’m from America! The reason I don’t look like one is because my ethnic background is hispanic, or in other words, both of my parents are from Mexico but I was born in America. My quirk isn’t the strongest or the most useful BUT I can be of better help in other parts of combat, so please, we don’t have to be friends but lets all work hard together” I bow respectfully and turn to sensei.

“nice speech kid, you can take the seat on the third row”

“um ok thanks”

As I’m walking toward my seat, sensei walks out saying he’ll be right back with more handouts. I sit and I feel all eyes on me, giving me the once over. The person in front of me has a bird head but normal human body from the neck down, the person behind me has half their face covered with multiple limbs and the person on my left has red spiky hair and was staring REALLY hard at me. I almost didn’t want to look at them until sensei came back, I just sat there blushing really hard.

“Kirishima! stop staring at her! Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?!” said the boy with glasses making chopping motions.

“Oh sorry! Its just that I’ve never seen curly hair of that type in person, you have really nice hair and your backpack is cute”

“um thank you, I feel sorta out of place with it tho, everyone else has normal bags”

“tch, makes you look like a little girl” muttered the boy with the blonde hair.

“Kacchan thats so rude! I think their choice of bag is cute and different in a good way” said some broccoil looking ass.

“well um, not to change the subject, but I made you guys cookies! I got up extra early to bake them”

“Cookies?! oh how sweet of you!” joked the pink girl.

“Oh here, let me help you with that” said the boy with glasses as he stood up.

“oh no I got this” I take out a package of colorful napkins and the box of cookies and I toss the napkins up and activate my quirk to pass out the napkins. Then I opened the box and gave everyone a cookie and gave sensei 3.

“so cool! you passed out the treat without getting up!” squealed what I assume to be the invisible girl.

“THESE COOKIES ARE SOOO YUMMY TOO!” proclaimed the boy with a black streak in their yellow hair.

Everyone was in a better mood and I got compliments for my cookies, I was in my happy place. After class, as I was packing my bag, the boy with the glasses came up to my desk

“thank you for the cookie, Palma-san, you really know how to bring a crowd together”

“oh thank you, uhhhhh”

“hm? OH my name is Tenya Iida, sorry I forgot to introduce myself earlier”

“Iida-san? oh its alright, its nice to meet you” 

“I haven’t seen you around halls, sensei tells us your in a different program? Is it true?”

“Yes its true, also the school is kinda big and I can be easy to miss in a crowd because I’m so short”

“I see, well its lunch time! May I walk you to the lunch room?”

“oh thank you but I usually eat in the parking lot” I soon regreted my words because this square faced, glasses wearing ass gasped and grabbed me by the wrist followed by dragging me down the hall.

“You’ve been by yourself during such social time?! Now I have a better reason to bring you to the lunch group!”

“eating by yourself isn’t a huge deal” I say but looking back, thats all I’ve been doing.

“A true hero never lets a fellow classmate eat alone!”

I get aggitated and retort “well what if they want to be alone!” as I teleport out of his grip and 3 feet behind him. He sees the whole thing and stopped on the dime, he was shocked.

“you, you used your quirk to escape my grip? What is your quirk exactly?”

“Heck, um its Mid-range Telekinesis, I can levitate, levitate others and objects and teleport about 2 miles at a time.”

“thats incredible power! what do you mean your quirk isn’t strong or useful?! You’re gifted in so many ways!”

I wasn’t having fun anymore, he wasn’t letting me talk or left me alone when I said I wanted to. 

“please stop”

“hmm? stop what”

“stop, talking about my quirk like I’m some sort of show horse” 

“Show horse? no no no! I didn’t mean to-”

“STOP!” I didn’t want to hear it, I just wanted to hide. Tears were welling up in my eyes.

“what is going on here? Tenya, what are doing to that poor girl?” it was Midnight. “oh no, are you ok Itati?” and I start to cry when she made eye contact with me. 

“its ok, you’re ok! please don’t feel sad” she comforted me as she held me, “why don’t you go to lunch Tenya, I’ll take care of things here”

“but I- I mean-”

“please, she’s been through too much already”

He walked away, looking back every few steps. Midnight escorted me to the staff room so I can calm down a bit and talk about what happened.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked me softly.

“yea, the school culture is too much for me”

“how so? Are you not making friends? Are the classes too hard?”

“its mostly the students outside of my program, they’re too into their hero agenda to be the best that they aren’t considering other’s personal feelings or perfernces”

I then tell her about the 3 upper classmen that talked about me and what Iida told me as they dragged me down the hall.

“oh I see now, it almost feels like you’re being targeted and pressured.”

“yeah, I want to learn about this hero culture more but this is too much at once. It’s strange because back home, I was so used to be part of the crowd and stand out when I wanted to. And here it feels like I breathe a little too loud and I’m suddenly getting looks”

“ok, I’m glad you aren’t giving up. But if they start getting physical and racist, please let any of the staff know.”

“alright, Thank you Midnight! I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I go about my day and tell Matsui and Oleshin what happened after school. They weren’t too keen about it,

“That glasses wearing asshole!”

“yea not good on a future hero if you tell me”

“We got your back Palma-san”

“YEAH! we international students have to stick together, its scary being alone”

“yea Matusi-san is right. If any of those hero asses try any of us, I’ll flex on them and toss them in the trash!” Oleshin-san said as she flexed her strong arms.

“And I can portal us to safety or anywhere really” Matsui-san said as he jumped.

“oh guys! I’m gonna cry again!” I said because I was so touched by their words.

“and I’ll T-pose, screech and rise on them. Maybe levitate them in the trash too”

We all laugh as we flex and T-pose together in the school parking lot. They walked me to my car. We were about to part ways to head home when I said

“hey, um you guys can call me Ita, if you want”

“Ita? then you can call me Jin”

“oh we doing short hand! then you can call me Mimi”

“Jin and Mimi huh? ok! see you guys tomorrow”

“bye!”

“until tomorrow”

As I drove home, I thought Holy shit I just made friends.

-End Chapter 1-

<Previous - Next>

[dj-yukio]

EAD: Childhood memories

“Right, so talk.”

Kurotsuno rolled her eyes at the pure crudeness of the other girl’s request. Of course she would insist that they have this conversation. The whole set up was even perfect: get her a little drunk, make sure she couldn’t think straight, and then push for the information. How did she not notice?

And they were all alone. Ah shit. She really didn’t feel like going through this now.

But before she could even open her mouth to protest, Hanten grabbed her tie and tugged on it.

“Nope. Don’t even think about getting out of this. You had years to think over this, now start talking.”

So she took a deep breath, trying to see how she could best illustrate what she remembered.

————————

She was four.

That was a point in her life when she was ill, deathly sick even, she believed. The memories of that time were hazy, almost as if it was covered in thick fog, but whether the reason was because she was sick and young then or because the memory had been suppressed, she had no idea. Nevertheless, she remembered the shouting and the screaming, mostly incoherent to her in her feverish daze.

Of course, it wasn’t like the shouting had just started, however. It had been happening for a few months before, way before she was even sick. They would shout about grown up things that she didn’t understand but knew it was probably very important, whatever a ‘di-force’ and a ‘chit-ting’ was, for both of them to be so angry.

But no matter what, they always smiled whenever she went over to them. Pretended that everything was alright, even though the sweat and strained smiles on their faces suggested otherwise, and refused to tell her about the grown up things they’d screamed at each other for in front of her, only engaging in it when they’d thought she had gone to bed.

At least, until that day, when she was turning about in her bed under the blanket that felt burning hot from her own fever, she could hear them shout outside her room. Even with her headache pounding through her skull, she could see papa standing there. Mama must have been standing behind the wall, she reasoned, or else he wouldn’t be standing there doing nothing.

Then she saw him turn to glance at her and quickly closed her eyes, wanting to know more about the adult things that they were talking about. She couldn’t do that if he was just going to smile and pretend everything was alright after all, right?

Suddenly, there was a loud slam, making young Olivia jump and grip onto the blanket even tighter. Her eyes were still closed, but she could faintly make out a soft squelching sound before footsteps went down the stairs. She pulled the blanket over her head, a feeling of fear suddenly overwhelming her, though for what reason she had no idea of. A few minutes later, she felt a hand touch the top of her blanket and gently shake her.

“Olivia? Are you awake?”

Wanting to pretend that she had been asleep the whole time, she didn’t budge for a while before pulling the blanket off her head. The warning bells in her feverish head were going off, giving her a major headache as she sat up to face papa who was sitting at the edge of her bed. He was just holding a bowl, yet, she still felt rather scared of him for no reason, and pushed it aside as she watched him lift the spoon.

There was a big lump on the spoon, that she noticed. What was it, soup? A really, really red soup, though. And it smelt weird too.

Papa seemed to notice and smiled at her before pushing the spoon towards her mouth. “Here, I got some medicine for you. It’ll make you feel much better tomorrow, I promise.”

She should have figured out what it was by then, but she was much too young to understand the true implication of the whole event back then.

So she stared at it, still not quite trusting of it. Surely it wasn’t something disgusting, like a red version of green peppers, right? And it was papa, who wouldn’t do anything to her.

So she begrudgingly opening her mouth, allowing him to push the spoon and its contents in. It felt weird, like it was some kind of meat, but much more chewy. Maybe it was a stew? What kind of stew was it?

She allowed herself to question what kind of meat stew it was for it to be medicine as papa continued to feed her, and before she knew it, he was tucking her into bed, softly whispering before giving her a kiss on the forehead as she giggled, the stew medicine thing making her feel much better already.

“Papa will make all the pain go away, I promise.”

It made her sick to the stomach as she remembered how the blood had dripped from the spoon as he fed her the ‘medicine’.

———���———

“Oh, that’s fu-“

“Shut it. So I ate my mom. Not my fault.” Kurotsuno growled a bit before calming down. There was no use getting mad at the person when he wasn’t there. “Besides, it was a long time ago.”

Hanten only raised a brow before opening another can of beer and pouring it out for both of them.

“So it isn’t. Go on.”

———————

She was five.

Now, it was just the two of them. The old house had been sold off, and their new house was somewhere really dark and dreary.

Though, that was kind of to be expected of a place called Pitch Black World. Would be kind of ironic if the place was all sunshine and rainbows for shits and giggles.

It was a nice big house, and she loved running around the house. It was a nice big space, and there was lots of empty dusty rooms to explore for her. It was a much too big house for the two of them after mama had left, as papa had said. And she could do almost anything in the house which only came with one rule:

She could never leave the house.

The door was to be locked at all times. The windows were all bolted, and the curtains in the room that she was in were to be drawn. He claimed it was for her protection, but now, she wondered if it was because he wanted her to never find out what became of her mother.

Now that she looked back, she should have seen that the big house was but a prison. Certainly one that was well furnished and meant to keep out intruders, but still a prison.

But young Olivia didn’t realise or care about that. She was much too eager to fill the gap that was left by her mother leaving to care that she was essentially stuck in a lie, a whole bunch of lies. She tried to be on her best behaviour, tried to please him as much as she could, like a dog trying its hardest to get a treat from its master. After all, there was no one else for her except him and herself.

And what had he done? He left her alone, a five year old child, alone at home, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. Sure, it was undeniable that he came home to spend time with her, and she wouldn’t be so cruel to lie and say they weren’t close in those times, but it was always work first, daughter second. How many times had she been pushed aside for something else, because that coward refused to put his foot down on those rare off days? If he had made some semblance of an effort trying to keep the family that he himself had destroyed, perhaps he would still be redeemable in her eyes. Instead, he came home reeking of the stench that she had only recently become accustomed to thanks to a certain someone that was sitting next to her and was completely incoherent during those times.

———————

“I’m right here you know.”

“Now you know why I detested these things originally.”

“And you never bothered to tell me?”

“It’s all in the past. Besides, what would that have accomplished? It’s not like you would stop drinking if I just told you.”

“Oh, I think you’d be surprised at the things I would have done for ya back then.” She picked up her mug, closing her eyes to savour the taste of the drink before plopping it back down. “But that’s not the point. So, go on.”

———————

That was how it was for two years. Just her, trying to hold their family together in spite of his schedule and decisions.

It was so difficult, managing to stay sane while in the confines of her house, unable to get out.

Then sanity came in the form of a demon who had crawled through the chimney. Her first friend ever since he had trapped her.

She didn’t know if it was symbolic that she was to forget the name of her first friend here and would only retain the vague memories of her.

———————

“You had a friend here? Who was it?”

Kurotsuno huffed, her eyes flitting to the side as she tried to remember. “...Don’t know. She had red eyes-“

“A lot of demons have red eyes. Some angels too.”

“And white hair. I don’t remember her name, but that’s all past. Happy now?”

Hanten paused to consider her, her face having a rather passive look before looking away. “Happy. How coincidental, in fact, but that’s none of my business. Continue.”

“...” She looked down at that. “...I don’t want to continue.”

“Oh?” Though she couldn’t see how the other looked, she could tell that she was curious. “Why not?”

“You already know all of this.” She paused for a bit, turning to glance at the other girl. “You already know all of this. So why are you asking me?”

“I don’t know about-“

Kurotsuno cut her off. “Let me rephrase that. You know about these from other places for sure, and

“Lies to me, traps me against my damn will-“

“Calm down-“

“-acts like nothing even happened-“

“-and then he has the nerve to play the victim card!”

“Kuro-“

She punched Hanten in the gut, forcing a gasp out of her. She’d have to keep in mind to apologise later, but for now, it felt good to let all the boiling anger out on someone. “And you want me to take the high road and just forgive him?”

“I’m just wasting my breath on you. What do you even understand, anyway.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive him.”

“Of course I wouldn’t understand how it feels to lose something important to me like a mom.” It was clear that Hanten was resisting the urge to roll her eyes from how annoyed she looked. “My mom’s alive, obviously. My old man’s not an idiot like yours. But it’s not going to do either of us good if you keep comparing my family to yours.”

“

Sanity, she believed, arrived in the form of a curious demon holding a knife who wanted to explore the supposedly big empty house.

It had been Christmas, and she had been waiting for the legendary Santa to make his way down the chimney, much to papa’s amusement as he agreed to let her watch the chimney for the night before he himself went to bed, mumbling about how the chimney was much to narrow for anyone to fit in in the first place.

Then again, in his defence, he couldn’t possibly have predicted that that particular day, a young child would be going down the chimney to enter their house.

It had been a great surprise and lesson for her that apparently dustpans didn’t make great kidnapping weapons, and that the girl in the chimney, even though she had white hair once she got the soot off her head, was not Santa.

Weird white haired girl rubbed her head at the spot where she had whacked her. “...so this isn’t an empty house.”

Olivia shook her head, wondering if that was a question directed at her. Chimney demon swore, before taking a good look at her and stashing her knife away.

“You’re weird.”

She made a brief indignant sound at that before the other girl shook her head to establish that that wasn’t quite what she meant.

“You’re... not one of us, I mean. Don’t look like a ghost either. That’s interesting. What are you?”

She shrugged at that. Even she didn’t quite know the answer then. Did it matter what she was? She was Olivia.

Demon girl was seemed all the more interested at that. With an air of nonchalance, she stuck out her still sooty hand towards her, giving a name that she had long forgotten.

She stared at the outstretched hand, wondering if she ought to take it. Technically, papa never said she couldn’t make friends with demons that went down the chimney and didn’t knock on the door.

So, with much rigour, she took the other girl’s hand and shook it hard, not realising that her life had been spared only because the other was much too fascinated with her to stab her.

“Olivia.”

That day was the day that both girls got a secret friend.

And for once, the house didn’t seem so empty anymore.

At least for three years, anyway.

——————————

She once wondered if her mom would still be alive if she had intervened more. Now that she had reflected on it, though, it seemed that the only reason their marriage had been surviving up till then was due to both being very reluctant to leave their dying child alone. One girl that was down with an unconventional illness.

Maybe if she had died back then, mom would still be alive.

—————

She had loved him. She had adored the dad that she had created in her naive little mind with what limited knowledge she knew about him. She reasoned with herself that he was doing it for the both of them,

And now she wondered if he had been doing it for himself from the start.

There were so many reasons that she could hate him for.

[softupshur]

The Lord Rejoices: Chapter 9

<Previous

Next>

Ao3 link if you’re into that kind of thing

~Updates every Sunday~ During Temple Gate’s founding years, Marta nears womanhood and wonders of God’s plan for her.

Chapter 9:

It wasn’t at the lake nor the farmhouse that Marta saw Paige and Otis again, but when she journeyed to the chapel for prayer.

Otis hounded one of the deacons while Paige sat in the nearest pew.

“I just want to talk to Knoth for five minutes. Is that really so much to ask?” Otis nearly yelled.

“Papa will not be seeing anyone,” he said. “If you need counsel, you are free to ask any of the other church officials, but the prophet is not to be interrupted while he is in meditation.”

“Tuesday it was prayer, Wednesday it was counsel, and now he’s meditating?! Is he trying to avoid me!?”

The deacon pointed an accusing finger at Otis. “You should seek the Lord in your prayers tonight and ask for patience. For it is a virtue you are severely lacking.”

“I think I’ve shown plenty of patience! I’ve been coming here for nearly a week and he hasn’t so much as looked at me!”

When they devolved into bickering, Marta sat beside Paige. “What’s going on?”

“A private matter, I’m afraid.” Paige uttered, never tearing her eyes from the argument.

“One so urgent that Papa’s attention is needed so soon?”

“Yes. He’s the only one who can give the final say, but he won’t talk to us. I think it’s because Otis is the one requesting his company…”

“Have you tried asking?”

“No, it has to be Otis.” Paige shook her head. “The prophet would be even less inclined to speak with me, so it’s best left to him.”

“He won’t get anywhere like that.”

“Do you have any better ideas?” If she looked at Marta, her eyeroll would have been visible.

Marta bit her lip before standing.

“Where are you going?” Paige asked.

“I’m going to talk to Papa.”

Paige’s voice softened. “You don’t have to.”

“You and Otis aren’t the only ones waiting for his answer.” She took a deep breath and started off.

“Good luck,” Paige called after her.

Neither Otis nor the deacon took notice as she passed them.

The meditation halls stretched long and narrow. Only torches and candlelight guided her way to the room at the end. It was the largest and reserved for the prophet. Lights flickered and streamed from the crack underneath the door, shining on Marta’s boots while she knocked.

No answer.

She knocked a little louder.

Still nothing.

“Papa, it’s Marta,” She said at the third knock. “May I enter?”

This time the door opened and Knoth stepped aside for her. “Yes, child, come in.”

“Many thanks.” She ducked her head under the doorway.

The chamber reeked of the same wine and incense as his bedroom, though only half as potent. The stone walls stood bare aside from a large crucifix on one side. Candles of varying sizes scattered the ground, their light casting shadows. Marta and Knoth kneeled with enough space between them, before the cross.

“What brings you here, child?”

“...It is of concern,” she admitted quietly.

“And what is it that concerns you?”

“You have been so absent as of late,” Marta replied. “The people are in want, in need even, of your guidance. We wish for the comfort of our prophet, but we are left grasping in the dark.”

“Then they are in that darkness by their own shortcomings. Though I am chosen to commune with God, I am nothing more than a vessel for His word. I may die tomorrow, but He would remain. The people cannot rely on me so wholly just to confirm what should already be the foundation by which they stand.”

“You speak as if we are lost in the wilderness still.” Though her voice quieted, it echoed off the walls.

“And we must remain as vigilant as we were then. We need not repeat the sin of sloth in the Degan Ranch.”

Marta’s eyes dimmed. “The ranch was of the wicked outside. It was inevitable that it met its destruction. Temple Gate is of God’s design, made on the backs and hands of our testament.” She looked at the calluses on her hands. “This is our sanctuary. I believe now is our time to prepare and flourish so that we may be of sound mind and body when The Enemy comes. If you would permit my boldness, I think the people need you in this time more than ever.” She stiffened as she waited for a response.

“You’ve been thinking a lot.” His tone was too even to read.

“My mind wanders often in these days,” she confessed.

“Where does it wander?”

“I want a deeper understanding of our town. To know our purpose in the Lord’s battle...to know what my own role will be.”

“In due time, my dear.” He reached over so he could lightly pinch her hollow cheek. “You need only be patient.”

Marta sighed heavily. “Yes, Papa…” They sat in silence for a little longer, before Marta spoke. “Perhaps, we should go back outside?”

Knoth shook his head. “No, I’d rather stay here. Just a bit longer.”

“But there are those that wish to speak with you. Your testament needs you.”

“As long as it’s not Otis again. That boy has been pestering the deacons for nearly a week.”

“Do you not wish to speak with him?”

“Not until he learns patience and humility. He comes in here demanding an audience like a king when he has yet to gain the most basic understanding of our way.”

“Perhaps he is seeking guidance?” Marta attempted. “Whatever he seeks, it may be best to hear directly from you.”

“He hasn’t spoken with you about it?”

“I only know that he arrived here with Paige and she claims it a private matter.”

“He came here with Paige now, did he?” He stood at last. “Perhaps it would be best to see what they want.”

He held out a hand to help Marta up, which she took. Even when she stood, he kept his hold.

As they walked down the hall, they could hear the shouting.

Knoth picked up his pace, nearly tugging Marta along.

When they entered the main hall, he shouted to make his presence known. “What in God’s name is going on in here!?”

Both fell silent. They straightened themselves and sought Knoth’s attention, the deacon gaining it first.

“Papa, this insolent—”

Knoth let go of Marta’s hand and held his up to silence him. “Never you mind that. I’ll take it from here.”

“But—”

“You are dismissed.”

In a huff, he departed. Paige took his place and stood beside Otis so she could hold his hand. Their gazes met for only a moment before Otis bowed his head in Knoth’s presence.

“Forgive me, sir. I had hoped you wouldn’t see that.”

“But I did,” he snapped. “So you best tell me what you caused such a scene for.”

“Yes, of course, but first I would like to thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I understand you are a busy man, so I won’t take up too much of your time.”

“I would hope not.” Knoth rubbed his temple. “Just let me know what you want.”

Otis glanced at Marta, then back to Knoth. “Sir...I thought maybe we could discuss this matter in private?”

“What you could say in front of me, you could say in front of her. Now out with it.”

Taking a deep breath, Otis stood straight and tall. “I have come to ask for your blessing that I may take Paige’s hand in marriage.”

Both Knoth and Marta’s jaws dropped. They sought each other for an explanation, but when neither had one, Knoth gave his answer. “No, it can’t be done. You two would not suit.”

“Why not? Just the other day you were saying it was time I take my place in Temple Gate and Paige is a woman fit to bear children. What more is needed?”

“Paige was brought up to be a farmer’s wife. You are working with the fishers. You two would not flourish with your talents clashing as they are.”

“There is no reason that we cannot coexist. As long as we can set up a pen, then her livestock can travel with her wherever we choose to live.”

Knoth scoffed, “and how would you go about supporting a wife and starting a family? You haven’t a home of your own and only just started your craft. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had yet to speak to her father about this.”

“I have and he thinks it’s a fine idea. As for a home, I hoped I could take the house that Fisherman Jones left behind a few months prior. It’s vacant and I can fix it up to be suitable for a wife and children. There’s room in the yard to make a coop for Paige’s chickens. Then her father will have room of his own for more livestock, which will benefit Temple Gate.”

Knoth raised an eyebrow. “And your own parents?”

His free hand clenched into a fist. “You know as well as I do that they just want me out of the house.”

Next, Knoth shot a glare at Paige. “And what of you?” he asked, making her flinch. “Do you take to this young man?”

Though she was unable to look Knoth in the eye, Paige nodded. “I do.”

“You answer with little conviction.” He stepped forward, snarling. “Have you been coerced into this agreement against your will?”

Paige shifted to partially stand behind Otis, and clung to his arm.

“Answer, child.” He loomed, casting a shadow over them. “This is your future we are talking about.”

When Otis gave her hand a squeeze, Paige lifted her head. “This is of my own free will.”

Knoth turned his back to them. “Nonetheless, this match is unsuitable. Paige is better as a farmer’s wife. It’s how she was brought up. Come spring, I shall find her a suitable husband, but it shan't be you.”

“Surely you can make an exception. We can pursue our talents and have children together as well as we can with anyone. Why should it matter whether we choose each other or someone else?” Otis’s tapping foot punctuated his question.

Knoth shook his head. “You could request many maids in Temple Gate, yet you ask for one ill-fitting of you. I should have expected this much.”

“Papa,” Marta’s voice was gently chiding. “Must you be so harsh with them? I understand your frustration, but I do believe Otis is trying to find his place among our people.”

“And I believe you too kind,” Knoth said. “The boy has been as Doubting Thomas from the start. This request is not enough for me to believe he has seen our way. He is not yet ready to take a wife.”

“But Thomas was still one of God’s disciples, just as Otis is still one of our flock. He only needs a chance to prove himself.”

Initially, Knoth opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself. His eye shone as he grinned. “My dear, I think that’s a fine idea.” He turned his attention back to Otis. “Perhaps I have been unfair towards you. For does the shepherd not seek out the one lost lamb over the ninety-nine already accounted for? If you are seeking redemption, who am I to deny you that? That is what you want, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied, after swallowing a lump in his throat, attempting to keep his expression even.

“Wonderful!” He clapped a hand on Otis’s shoulder. “Then you shall be baptized this coming Sunday in the Lord’s name. It shall be a declaration of newfound faith, and a sign of your joining our flock. Then, we can discuss a possible marriage.”

Otis closed his eyes and breathed through his nose before replying, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Good, good,” Knoth patted his shoulder before letting go. “I pray that you continue this path, but for now you must excuse me. There is much I must attend to, but we will speak again soon. Both of you give your families my regards.” He turned to leave.

Marta watched as Paige tugged on Otis’s hand for them to depart. They hurried out of the chapel. Before she could follow, Knoth called on her to spend the rest of the day in meditation together.

[shipcestuous]

Odd and True (Submission)

This is going to be the first in a series of multiple installments from me because I’ve only just started this book and there’s already a LOT to talk about (sisters, brosis, and uncle/niece)… but I’ve got a new rec for you guys! It’s called Odd and True by Cat Winters, and the core characters of the story are the eponymous Odette (“Od”) and Trudchen (“Tru”) Grey, a pair of sisters.  From the book’s summary:

“Od has always claimed that her mother slayed monsters and that she and her sister are destined for the same adventures.  Tru, who has struggled to walk ever since a childhood illness, suspects that her sister’s fantastic stories are merely comforting lies.

But even skeptical Tru believes there’s a dark force approaching.

In 1909, after vanishing two years earlier, Od reappears in Tru’s life with a suitcase full of weapons and a promise to rescue Tru from the monsters about to attac.  Od seems haunted, searching for something she can’t talk about.  Tru goes along with her sister in the hopes of finding their long-missing mother–but neither girl will find exactly what she’s looking for.”

So from the start, I really enjoy the sisters’ relationship.  The book opens with a flashback to Tru’s fifth birthday, and her almost nine-year-old sister Od telling her one of her stories about their mother. The two sisters share a room in the attic, and Od tells Tru stories to distract her from the pain in her leg (she got polio a few years before that). This is something that happened all throughout Tru’s childhood, until the girls’ aunt sent Od away when Tru was 13 for reasons she didn’t know. As the summary says, Od returns two years later (on Tru’s 15th birthday, after Tru wished to get to see her again).

Soon after, we get a flashback from Od’s POV of when Tru was born.  We also get introduced to their mother Maria’s younger brother Magnus, who’s only about 15 years older than Od. (By this point, we’ve learned from Od’s stories that Magnus made the girls’ father vanish via magic, shortly after this, because he didn’t like how their father was absent from Maria and his kids so much, or how he kept Maria trapped inside their home “like Rapunzel”.) Maria shows a disdainful attitude toward Magnus, partially because she claims he spends a lot of time drinking and sleeping around, but she’s also just been through a traumatic birth so she’s clearly just lashing out.

As for 4-year-old Od, she totally adores her uncle, thinks of him as handsome, and even tells him on page 50, “I’m going to marry you when I’m older, Uncle Magnus.“  He tells her, “that’s very sweet of you, but you can’t marry me, Od. I’m your uncle,” and she says, “Papa says I can’t marry you because you’re a jackass.” (Which aside from showing that she totally had a canon crush on him back then, it’s just a really fun exchange anyway.)

Magnus is also the first one who tells Od about the family secret, AND the one who gives the sisters their nicknames in the first place. While he’s there, he also predicts Od’s future, and one of her cards suggests “you’ll fall in love, or… find yourself with another type of powerful partnership. You will be at your strongest when you are with someone else.“  (Aka Tru–I’m calling that one right now.)

Then, he accidentally teaches Od the word “damn,” which draws her mother away from nursing newborn Tru to tell Magnus to take the kids out of the house. Since Maria was in the middle of feeding the baby, her nightgown is open, so Magnus turns his head away, reeling “from the shock of his half-naked sister throwing an infant into his arms.“  He blames Maria’s husband completely for having done this to her, aka making her so desolate and upset.

After they return home, Magnus and Maria make up.  They stay up late talking and laughing so loud that Od can’t fall asleep.  So she tiptoes down the stairs and spies on them. “Mama lay against the back cushions of the sofa… her left thumb tucked inside my uncle’s shirt between two of the buttons, her left leg resting over both his knees.  Uncle Magnus reclined on his back… his left hand stroking Mama’s long brown hair” (p. 61).

Just judging by being 60 pages in, there’s definitely more than a little subtext in the Magnus/Maria relationship. Just saying.  And then there’s the line from Od’s POV: “Watching them that night, seeing the way they clung to each other, as though they braved unfamiliar waters while rocking about in a lifeboat, I understood that Uncle Magnus was Mama’s Tru.”

That night, Od is scared because she remembers her dad telling her about La Llorona, a spirit who drowned her children to spite their cheating father and now roams at night looking to kidnap replacement children.  So she sleeps beside Magnus, and Magnus tells Od that he’s going to have to leave because her dad is coming home tomorrow.  He tells her, “I can’t look at your father ever again.  He makes me furious, the way he keeps your mother trapped here like Rapunzel.  He always has.”

And of course the story of La Llorona is almost certainly not related to this, but since Od was worried about it only a page before, it’s fresh on my mind. And between that and the subtext between Magnus and Maria, I have this (probably untrue) suspicion that there was something going on between them at some point.  Maybe before Maria got married, or maybe afterward and that’s why her husband hates Magnus so much.

Then there’s another interesting line from Magnus, where he tells Od to wish with all her might for Magnus to come back here the next time she, Maria, and Tru are left alone again, and the wish will reach Magnus because “you and I are very much alike, Od. We form connections to the people we love–connections stronger than regular bonds.” He’s saying that that’s why the wish will reach him, but… I can’t help but misinterpret it, between that and the thousand other subtexty things that have happened during this flashback.

So from the start, there are several relationships in this family that I’m intrigued by: Od/Tru, of course, but also Od/Magnus, and especially Magnus and Maria. It’s obvious from the start that family is going to be one of the most prominent (if not THE most) themes going on here, and I love stuff like that (obviously).

So I’ll make sure to keep you updated when I have time to read more! Can you believe all of that subtext was only in a prologue and two chapters???

Wow, you weren’t kidding, Anon! That was loaded. All three relationships already have so much going for them. And that description of Maria and Magnus certainly sounds suggestive to me - why else go into such detail?

Thank you for sharing this with us - giving us such a wonderful introduction. I can’t wait to hear what else is in store. I’m definitely leaning towards reading it myself right now but I’ll wait until you’ve finished it. Thanks!!!!

[lostinfic]

Mercier x Betty  British Raj AU

Calcutta, 1902. The word ‘dance’ comes to mind, their own choreography of gazes exchanged across the room, brushes of hands and half-spoken confessions. They orbit around each other, destined never to collide it seems; Mercier is upper class, Betty is a governess. And he’s spying on the family whose children she swore to protect. But in this foreign land of spices and silk, of golden gods and lush forests, where cultural norms clash and wane, even destinies must yield to desire.

Rating: Mature Word count: 3.4k Beta: @fadewithfury​ <3 You don’t need to have seen either show.

Tumblr   |   Ao3   |    This chapter on Ao3

3 | Meeting

Douglas Wigram grumbled as his pen kept slipping from his pudgy hand. Mercier peered at him over his two months-old Le Figaro (news travelled slowly to India).

“Something the matter, Wigram?”

“You French and your bloody paperwork.”

Mercier chuckled, he was starting to enjoy Wigram’s company— unfortunately. He went back to reading about the relations between president Émile Loubet and the new king, Edward VII.

“How long will it take?” Wigram asked.

“It depends on how fast you can write.”

“No, I mean, the payment.” He blotted his large, sunburnt forehead with an handkerchief.

“I don’t know, I am only in charge of diplomatic relations,” Mercier replied. He wanted to ask if he had financial troubles, but couldn’t do it so bluntly.

Lord Wigram wanted to rekindle his business relationship with the French, unaware that Mercier knew all about the people he’d defrauded in Bombay. If Douglas was experiencing money problems, he might be tempted to pull the same tricks he had back then. However, Mercier had yet to find concrete evidence of ill intentions.

Mercier turned the question of financial troubles in his mind to find a tactful formulation, but footsteps in the hall distracted him.

Excusing himself, Mercier left the library, hoping the footsteps were Betty’s. It wasn’t her, but a servant. He turned to get back in the room, and Betty walked down the stairs at the same moment. She smiled at him, but not for long.

“Miss, I—”

She shook her head and ran back up the stairs, leaving him baffled.

Where was the woman who jumped in the river, who looked him in the eyes, who found a way to slip a note in his jacket?

 He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. Maybe pursuing a governess was too complicated after all.

Mercier stayed for lunch, sitting with the whole family. They ate kedgeree , the adults at one end of the long table, Betty and the children at the other end.

Pieces of rice and smoked fish caught in Lord Wigram’s red whiskers as he talked about a whole menagerie of exotic animals installed at Eden Gardens for the season.

“Oh, papa, miss Betty, please, can we go?” Victoria asked, making her best puppy eyes.

Winifred tugged on her governess’ sleeve. “Please, can we go?”

“Pwease, pwease,” Oliver echoed. He had no idea what they were asking, but he could sense his sisters’ excitement.

Betty looked at Lord Wigram.

“It can be arranged,” he said. “I can have the buggy ready to take you.”

“Thank you papa!”

“Alright, but you will have to be very well-behaved this afternoon,” Betty warned. “What time shall we go?”

“Right now!” declared Winie.

“It’s too hot. Tomorrow,” Betty said.

“Nine o’clock! No, eight! Eight-thirty.” Victoria declared.

Betty looked straight at Mercier as she said, “Nine o’clock tomorrow, it is. At Eden gardens.”

Right away, the governess returned her attention to her plate, but a flush to her cheek told him she may have indeed arrangement a meeting with him. This, this was the woman he wished to know better. He hid a smile behind his cloth napkin.

*

Betty thanked the fashion gods for the current trend of loose, frizzy buns. A hairstyle she effortlessly achieved by running after children all day. In the morning, she only ever had time to pin her curls atop her head. But today, she envied Lady Wigram’s heated waving irons (but not her singed hair) because today she had a rendez-vous. Well, if Colonel Mercier had understood her message, that is.

“Let’s gooooooo,” Winifred whined, standing in the doorway of Betty’s bedroom.

“This is no way to talk to me, young lady.”

“But I wanna see the pandas!”

The little girl’s behaviour provided an excuse for Betty to linger in front of the mirror. “Now you will just have to wait, Winnie.” Betty cinched her waist with a yellow sash and put on a straw hat. Even with these added accessories she looked plain. What could Mercier possibly like about her when he was surround with much more elegant ladies? She stepped away from the mirror before her thoughts dragged her down a spiral of self-deprecation.

Winifred ran down the stairs, Betty behind her. The other children were already sat in the buggy, Oliver on the knees on his ayah, Samaira.

Like most european families, the Wigrams had hired a native nanny. Samaira’s first language was Bengali, but she spoke English too, albeit not fluently. She was ten years older than Betty, and had children of her own at some point.

Oliver kept tugging on her sari, she readjusted it over he head, the pale blue fabric a contrast to her dark skin.

Despite their cultural and lingual differences, Samaira was the closest thing to a friend Betty had, certainly the only other woman she talked to beside Lady Wigram. In fact, since arriving in India, Gabrielle Mercier was the only other one Betty had a conversation with. Even in England, with the Wigrams’ house set in a remote area of the Yorkshire countryside, she had no social life to speak of. At least the rest of the staff spoke English— or some version of it. Governess was a peculiar position, not a servant, but also not the family’s equal either. A lonely middle ground.

As they made their way towards the Eden Garden,, Betty noticed men building roadside shrines and temporary temples.

“What are they for?” she asked Samaira.

“Pandals, for Sharad Navrati and Durga Puja celebrations. Durga Devi battles Mahishasura, so Dharma returns.”

Betty remembered a tale in the girls’ book in which the warrior goddess Durga fought a shape-shifting buffalo demon.

Samaira explained today was Mahalaya, the first day of the festival, when Hindus remembered deceased loved ones.

“I think about mother,” Samaira said.

And Betty thought of her father. But sadness didn’t occupy her heart for long because the garden’s gates came into view. Had Mercier already arrived?

A tree-lined path lead to an artificial pond. Herons pierced the mist still skating above the water. On a central island, a Burmese Pagoda rose from the mist, a splash of red and orange in the green Indian autumn, its intricate wood carving like golden ivy growing along the multi-tiered roof. A dragon coiled around the top spire, looking over the visitors.

Only a dozen people walked around the park, Betty scanned the area for Mercier’s tall figure, but she didn’t see him.

Beside the pond and pagoda, cages formed a half-circle between shrubs and flowerbeds. Victoria and Winifred ran towards the first one. Behind the bars, a gorilla threw hay in the air.

Betty looked behind her again, then at her pocket watch. Where was he?

The gorilla had stopped playing, now it scratched intently a patch of hairless skin on its arm. Bored, the children moved to the next cage. With Samaira and the chauffeur with them, Betty didn’t have to stick too closely.

The gorilla still scratched its skin in a worrisome way. It should not have to be alone in its cage all the time, surely there must be other monkeys it could befriend. Betty had half a mind to speak to its keeper, when Gabrielle Mercier came to stand beside her.

Betty’s heart plummeted: he’d sent his sister to turn her down.

“Ignore me, I’m only here for the sake of appearances,” Gabrielle said with a wink.

“What?”

“You summoned me?”

Mercier sidled between Betty and his sister. In the shadow of his bowler hat, his eyes twinkled even if he didn’t smile.

“You came.” She sucked in her bottom lip to suppress a beaming smile. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“I was not sure you wanted me to,” Mercier said.

“Why? Did you not find my note?”

“I did— very crafty. But when I saw you yesterday, you ran away.”

“Oh, right. Well, we were in the house.”

“What you mean to say is my attentions are unwelcome.”

“No! Just, in the house. When Lady Wigram’s there.” Betty had no desire to lose her position and be stranded in India.

“I see. And now we are outside the house. May I?”

He brushed a fingertip along the curve of her palm. With her consent, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. Betty glanced sideways as he did it; No one seemed to notice their exchange. Bringing his sister along had been a smart move.

The children had moved on to another cage, so Betty headed to the second one where a pair of zebras huddled together. Mercier and Gabrielle followed a minute after.

“Tell me, what is it about me that has you curious?” Mercier whispered as they pretended to observe the animals.

“Everything.”

He smirked, and she blushed furiously.

“You really are not here to coerce me in exchange for your silence?” she asked.

“I would never do something so dishonourable to you.”

She searched his face for signs of dishonesty, his steady gaze allowed no dispute. Some tension left her shoulders.

“I’m sorry for distrusting your intentions. I’ve to be careful.”

“I think you are wise to do so.”

She wanted to look at Mercier longer, at his kind eyes and lightly freckled cheeks, but couldn’t do so in public. She stared at the animals instead. Other visitors came to admire them, and Betty stepped sideways to give them some room. Mercier unlinked his hands from behind his back, and his sleeve brushed against hers. Meanwhile, the zebras rubbed their muzzles and foreheads together, and a little sigh escaped Betty.

“If I may say so,” Mercier began, “things seem difficult between you and Lady Wigram.”

Betty rubbed a thumb in her palm and checked on the children. She moved to the next cage, mulling her answer over.

“Well, I— I don’t wish to speak ill of the Wigrams,” she said when he joined her. “I am most grateful for this opportunity. I have me own room, and they paid for me voyage to India. They are generous, especially to a girl like me from such an modest background.”

“I do no doubt it,” he reassured her. “I am not one for gossip, you may speak your mind.”

And she so wanted to. She had no one to talk to about this situation, not even in letters to her sister. She didn’t want to worry Margaret, and mail travelled too slowly anyway.

“She must have told you his lordship knew me father. That’s why they employed me.”

“Yes, I remember, she told me the first time we met.”

“She does that. I believe I’m an embarrassment to her. If I were less common, from a good family, you know, then it would reflect well on her ladyship. But I am not.” She bowed her head.

“She makes it sound like they hired you out of charity.”

“Yes, and it is charity, in a way, as I said, I am grateful… But I’m good at me job too.” She watched the children still admiring the pandas.

“I’m sure you are.”

“Well, Oliver falling in the river might not be the best example but the little bugger runs so fast. Winnie and Victoria are such smart girls, they learn fast, and they are well-behaved. I dare say her ladyship has no reason to be dissatisfied with my work.”

“So she would need another kind of reason to get rid of you. Say improper behaviour.”

“Lord Wigram has the last say in this matter, I should think, and he gave me father his word. But a wife has her ways.”

“Why would she want to get rid of you?”

Betty struggled to explain her situation while respecting the family’s privacy and her own secrets. “She is not the first Lady Wigram,” she summed up.

“Ha. And you were there before her.”

As a widower, had Mercier encountered women who, like the second Lady Wigram, wanted to erase any trace of his first wife? That’s what she had done, less than a year after the children’s mother had passed away, she redecorated the whole house and hired new staff.

Other visitors arrived, Mercier and Betty stepped away from each other. He talked to his sister while Betty observed armadillos scurrying across the cage’s dirty floor.

Betty remembered the night she overheard an argument between Lord Wigram and his new wife because she wanted to fire the governess. “We could get a much better girl, someone with education and class. Not some common halfwit.” But Lord Wigram wanted to relocate the family to India permanently. Moving to a new country, with a new mother and a father the kids barely knew, even he realized the children would need someone they trusted.

“She did not want me to come to India, but I did. Even if it scared me half to death. For the children.”

“Only for them?”

Betty shrugged. “With the change of century, I thought… Dunno, new century, new life.” Putting the past behind and her mistakes as well. Mistakes that would come back to haunt her if she was caught with Mercier. Even knowing that, she couldn’t resist his appeal. “And you, why did you come to India,” Betty asked him.

“I suppose I needed a change too. I needed something different, new, exciting.”

“You were not scared?”

He chuckled lightly. “I was…apprehensive, perhaps. But do not tell anyone.”

They smiled at each other and walked to the next cage where an aging lion hid behind a fake rock.

“What is it that your father did for Lord Wigram?”

“Dunno. They were in the Navy together is all I know. Must be something big. Daddy alway said ‘Lord Wigram will help you’. I never thought I would need it, but… Anyway, he kept his word. He’s a good man. I don’t think he even told his wife what Daddy did. And that only makes things worse. She hates it.”

“Is she cruel to you?”

“No. Not physically.”

“I see.”

“She is under a lot of pressure here. Lord Wigram is trying to make a name for himself, and she must entertain his clients and associates. And she’s been sick. This weather… I am not unhappy. And I would not want to let the family down, not one of them.”

Mercier looked up at the pale sky. He had an unsettling stillness about him when lost in thought.

“I’m sorry to have burdened you with these silly things,” Betty stammered.

Samaira and the children called Betty’s name as they walked towards her.

“You have to see the pandas,” Victoria said.

Gabrielle quickly joined her brother. “We were just talking about the Durga Purja,” she said.

“Yes, I told them about the, er, pandals,” Betty added.

“I believe the procession is this Friday, is it not?” Gabrielle asked.

“Yes. Vijayadahami, the procession, is Friday,” Samaira confirmed. “They walk in our street.”

“Will they? In front of Lord Wigram’s house? You should go, miss Salinger,” Mercier said. “The Hindus carry statues to the river, there is music and so many people one can hardly see what is happening. I have been every year, and will be there again on Friday.”

“The children would surely love it,” Gabrielle supplied.

“Yes, of course, for the children,” Mercier said.

“We might go, then,” Betty said.

*

The crowd’s energy was contagious. Hundreds and hundreds of them surged down the street. Men carried large percussion instruments and pungi flutes, women blew into conch shells. Low, entrancing notes rose in the air like charmed snakes. The pounding of the drums vibrated deep into Betty’s bones.

They danced and smeared each other’s faces with red sindoor. Others carried earthenware bowls in which fragrant herbs burned like incense. Kids laughed and chased each other, zig zagging between adults and animals.

Above the crowd, on a stage of bamboo, sat a statue of Durga, eight yellow arms fanned around her. Brahmins supplicated the goddess to go to her abode and return to them next year. Her devotees sang emotional goodbyes as they carried the statue towards the Hoogly river for its immersion.

Oliver watched from the window in Samaira’s arms. Winifred and Victoria had a seat above the crowd thanks to Rajit and Kamal, the chauffeur and the gardener, whom had hauled them on their shoulders. Betty stayed nearby. Energy grew in her legs, an itch to dance and join the procession. But no Europeans participated, most watched from their windows and porches, with expressions ranging from contempt to astonishment.

Every once in awhile, she scanned the crowd for Mercier or Gabrielle.

Between two drum players, Betty saw Mercier standing across the street. They caught each other’s eyes between groups of devotees. He would never be able to cross the procession before its end, and then it would be too late to meet without a parade to distract attention.

Another Durga statue passed by, and Betty lost sight of him. She kept looking nevertheless, standing on tiptoes to see above heads.

Eagerness to see him mingled with her already heightened spirit, it swirled in her veins, made her heartbeat echo through her body. A heady thrum. She swayed, her skin tingled.

She felt someone behind her, and she knew it was him. He’d found a way to cross the crowd to her. She shifted her weight on her heels, leaning back, closer to him.

“Colonel.”

“Miss Betty.”

He touched a mother-of-pearl button at the back of her shirt. Like The Princess and the Pea, despite the layers of chemise, corset and petticoat, that slight point of pressure was all she could think of. He walked his fingers down, from button to button, between her shoulder blades. He spoke, near her ear but looking out at the crowd for the sake of appearances.

“It occurred to me, that for all your explanations about your precarious situation—” down another button, and another— “you never asked me to stay away from you.”

She glanced shyly over her shoulder, “Indeed.”

His fingers reached the buttons nestled in the curve of her lower back. She leaned into his touch. Was he thinking of undoing them? Just like he’d opened her corset after rescuing her from the river. So, she could breathe freely again.

The mass of people moved and pushed Mercier into her. Reflexively, he gripped her waist to steady both of them. Betty covered his hand with hers, their fingers twined. The gathering was forgotten. No sound or scent passed through their bubble, the whole world muted around them. Against her back, she felt his rib cage expand with each breath. How she wanted to turn around and wrap her arms around him.

Too soon, the procession ended and the crowd thinned.

“When can I see you again?” Mercier asked.

“His lordship was invited to the Earl of Dalhousie’s hunting party.”

“So have I.”

“I believe there is talk of inviting women and children for a picnic after the hunt, but nothing is decided yet.”

“I will see what I can do.”

With a last squeeze of her hand, he vanished into the crowd.

Chapter 4: Hiding

[missingverse]

Missing Chapter Nine

The people you found in true crime communities could almost all be neatly sorted into three categories. It was usually clear within the first few forum posts, first created thread or podcast comment, so that Arnold found himself filing them away as 'ignore' or 'engage' just by looking at their usernames.

The most pleasant to deal with were the ones that had a scholarly interest in true crime. They were clever, thorough, usually respectful. A lot of stay-at-home mothers or particularly bright college students, the occasional retired detective. Arnold suspected Officer Plaskett was going by the username OldDogNewTricks on three of the forums he was a member of.

The ghouls were mostly easy to spot, they typically weren't too bright. Lots of edgy teenagers that hero-worshiped serial killers and mass shooters, emotional vampires feeding off of grief, deranged romantics that blamed the deceased for having the audacity to die at the hands of the poor, misunderstood murderer. Some of them were very good at faking sincerity until their probing for messy details gave them away.

The last category was the one Arnold had put himself in after much deliberation. The people the deceased had left behind, family, friends, loved ones, former teachers and co-workers, people who saw that person all the time until one day they were gone. Full of bewildered hurt, good-natured, sometimes angry, mostly just incredibly sad. There was a sense that the postings they made online were an effort to preserve their loved one in people's memories, in that immortal way of the Black Dahlia or Jonbenet Ramsey or Amber Hagerman.

Arnold's first step into the community came with a thinkpiece. He'd been mindlessly surfing the internet, finished with household chores but too mentally drained to start his seventh grade assignments, and it was well past midnight so nobody was awake.

SLIPPING THROUGH THE CRACKS: Does America's school system need to take more responsibility?

The picture at the head of the article was one that would become famous; the one with Helga and Phoebe building a snow fortress, Helga sporting the black eye that would set curious fingers typing all over the internet. The article itself was a mess, barely-there sources, typos and the author went off on an odd tangent about some teacher that had been mean to her back in grade school. But it brought Arnold to the comment section.

The school is definitely to blame, but let's not let CPS off the hook here. They had buckets of evidence even without the school reporting, but they left her there anyway.

Kids get bumps and bruises all the time, how is an underpaid, overworked public servant supposed to tell the difference? Where was this kid's doctor?

Ugh, just looking at that picture of Papa Pataki gives me chills.

He found himself scouring Reddit threads, which lead to blogs, which lead to podcasts and back again, in a circle. He was exhausted, but he kept going until the sun started creeping up the sky. He feigned illness to stay in bed, scrolling through post after post on his phone.

A lot of people had opinions on Helga's disappearance. Reading through them was compelling, they filled the vacuum she left behind her at least a little. And for Arnold, whose life was held taut between the boarding house and his schoolwork, it was something other than the everyday drudge to focus on.

…..

Arnold was buzzing with excitement (could it be called excitement? it was something, anyway) as they left the forest. He escorted Phoebe home, and left her with a promise that he would tell her what was on the memory stick once he saw it.

Only after, cycling back to the boarding house with her in the basket, did he realize that Helga had been oddly subdued. She'd been quiet in the woods, and hadn't entered her old hideout with them, and as they approached home she started rubbing her head, just under the wound.

“You okay?” he asked. Had something in the woods triggered something for her...?

“Yeah, I'm just really tired,” she mumbled back. “My head hurts.”

He had shown her the memory stick, but she hadn't shown any recognition or interest in it.

“Maybe we took you out too far today,” he mused. “I don't know, maybe the further you are from the house, the weaker you get, or something?”

“Maybe,” she agreed with a worn-out sigh.

He helped her out of the basket and brought her upstairs, and she was asleep before her head touched the pillow. He tucked her in and left her there to rest before joining his grandparents and the boarders for dinner. The chili was watery and the rice gritty (Gertie's cooking was going downhill rapidly, but no-one could convince her not to let someone else take over) but he swallowed it down fast.

The police never found the stick. She was going to give it to Officer Plaskett. It's evidence, important evidence. Crucial.

A tremor passed over Arnold as he slid the USB stick into the port, and his initial excitement paled in the face of dread. If it was evidence, it couldn't be pleasant. He glanced over at Helga, sleeping peacefully under the blankets. He was glad she was asleep.

The drive appeared on the screen, containing a folder. No name, just a sequence of random-looking letters and numbers. He opened the folder. It was full of pictures, thumbnails. He scrolled through them, leaning close to the computer screen, squinting. Was he missing something?

The first few images were of an empty room. Taken from some high-up corner. The room was mostly bare, just a single bed and a small rug and a few furnishings. Then he spotted the ragdoll, half-hiding under the bed. Helga's room. Without Helga in it.

And then, twenty or so images in, Helga appeared. It was unmistakably her, as this was unmistakably her room. But she was wrapped in a towel, another one wound around her head, as the series of images documented second by second. A sickness started to burn in Arnold's stomach, as the much-younger Helga on the screen took the towel down from her head and rubbed her hair dry. When she stood up and undid the towel wrapped around her body, Arnold hit the keyboard hard, flinching away.

That was an even bigger mistake. If the first pictures could be explained away as someone's paranoid surveillance, the set he accidentally scrolled down to couldn't be anything but what they appeared to be. He looked at them through his fingers, too sickened to look on them fully but too desperate to find something, anything, to explain away what he was seeing.

It was a mercy that Helga was asleep in these pictures. It was an unnatural sleep, clearly drug-induced, because nobody could have been propped up (displayed) the way she was without waking up. It was still her room, her pillow that her head was lolling against, her ragdoll that was lying beside her as a tawny male hand moved her bare limbs around. One hand fisted a handful of blonde hair, holding her up in a way that should have woken even the deepest sleeper, while the other presumably held the camera under her face.

There was her blackened eye. There were bruises in the shape of fingerprints on her legs, her torso, her barely-there chest.

Arnold managed to close the folder and yank the USB from the drive before he ran to the bathroom to be violently sick.

…..

MarkFisaTwat says:

What did you think of her dad? You get any creepy vibes from him?

TweenageDirtbag:

Not really...he was an asshole to her, but he was kind of an asshole in general. She definitely got the worst of it though.

MrsKirbyEdmonton:

I always thought he was more of an underprotective father than an overprotective one. Those don't really fit the profile for killers of that type. I'm still thinking suicide.

MarkFisaTwat says:

That's kind of blunt.

MrsKirbyEdmonton:

So, what, you think it's not a possibility?

MarkFisaTwat says:

Well, Dirtbag would know best....what do you think @TweenageDirtbag

TweenageDirtbag:

Honestly? I don't think she was the type. I mean, I know all kinds of people kill themselves but I can't see her taking that way out. I'd believe she would commit homicide before suicide, iykwim.

MrsKirbyEdmonton:

You never know, though, do you? Nobody really knows what went on in that house, except the people that lived there. There are things that make even the strongest of us want to die.

…..

Arnold shivered in the bathroom for over an hour before he could go back to his room. The images were burned into his brain.

She said she had stomach pains.

She was really tired in the mornings.

Stomach pain was a common side effect of certain sedatives, he knew that from managing his grandparents' meds.

She didn't want to go home.

Probably because when she slept in her own home she woke up with mysterious bruises and and stomach pains.

His phone chimed as he shakily slumped across his bed. He ignored it, and concentrated on the sound of Helga's breathing from across the room. It chimed again.

She found the pictures. She found them and was going to bring them to Officer Plaskett.

Back then, on that crime forum, he thought there was no way she could have killed herself and said so. Now, he wasn't so sure. If Arnold had found pictures like that of himself, he could say with certainty that he would want to die. Just seeing them made him desperate to find some way, any way, to block it out.

His phone chimed. Again.

And again.

He picked it up. Phoebe.

Did you look at the USB stick yet?

Officer Plaskett called my house while we were gone. We can see him at 2pm tomorrow.

Arnold? Hello?

You said you'd message me. I'm waiting.

If you make me wait til tomorrow about this I'll skin you alive.

He almost raised a smile. Phoebe had a fire under her again. Which just made it harder to tell her.

I looked inside it.

….and?

Phoebe, it's really bad. I can't talk about it right now.

How bad? She had it when she was alive...

I'm serious. I can't tell you. Not while she's here. I can't let her see this.

I'm coming over.

What?

No, don't, it's getting late.

I don't care. I want to see.

No, you don't. Trust me on this.

Fuck you, Arnold. This is solid evidence and you're not telling me what it is? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Phoebe, please. I wish I hadn't seen it. I'm giving it to Plaskett tomorrow. Let him tell you about it.

He stared at his phone, willing Phoebe to respond. If he had to open that folder again....

Fine. But if Plaskett won't tell me anything, you have to.

I will.

Helga made a soft noise in her sleep, turned a little under her blankets. Arnold glanced over at her. She looked peaceful.

Maybe this was why her ghost had no memory. Even after death, she had forcefully blocked it from her mind.

[tact-and-impulse]

Women of Ruroken Week 2017, Day 5

Ugh, I had a hard time deciding between Uki and Tokio, and Uki won out at the last minute. I used up all my romance fuel on yesterday, but Tokio and Saito still show up.

Prompt: Seasons

The cicadas were loudly singing, and Uki impatiently tapped her foot, readjusting her phone against her ear. “Look, I can’t leave, my shift’s not over!”

“Well, I can’t pick him up by myself. I’ve only got one good hand.” Her older brother complained.

She rubbed her forehead. Why did Ota have to be on that summer school trip now? Why did Sano-nii have to break his hand again? And why, why was Papa out at this hour? “I’ll ask Tokio-san if she can cover for me, and I’ll text back if it’s okay. But you have to call Katsu one more time. Got it?”

“Yeah. Got it.” He ended the call.

She groaned, slapped her cheeks with both hands, and fixed on a smile as she reentered the hospital. “Um, Tokio-san, can I ask a favor from you?”

Tokio-san looked up from the printer, which was spitting out pamphlets. “Of course. What is it?”

“My dad was arrested. Again. I might have to pick him up from the station with my brother. Is it okay if I leave a little early?”

“Why don’t you leave now?”

“I can’t do that to you. It’d just be you and all the babies.” She gestured to the room full of incubators. The NICU ward was a terribly lonely place, at night.

“I don’t mind at all. I can get out of my date.” She was already dialing.

“Even worse! You never go on dates, this is a lifetime opportunity!”

Tokio-san rolled her eyes. “It’s fine. It was a blind date, set up by Yamakawa-san. That man loves playing matchmaker…” She muttered, before clearing her throat. “Saito-san? I’m sorry, but something came up and it looks like I have to cancel. Oh.” Confusion then took over her expression. “No…that’s right. But you also work at Kamiya Kasshin? I see, surgical oncology, on the other side of this floor.”

“A surgeon. He could be rich.” Uki whispered, and was rewarded with a light shove.

“Two more hours. Are you sure you don’t want to move it?” Saito-san must have said something snide, because Tokio-san pressed her lips together, as she did when she was pissed. “Well, I’m not nervous either. I’ll see you in two hours.” She flashed her phone a disgusted look. “The date is still on. That man refuses to back down.”

“Does he know you’re a nurse?”

“He probably does; he seems informed.” Tokio-san shook her head. “Anyway, Uki, I’m your senior. Don’t worry about me, go to your dad. He needs you.”

“…okay.” Reluctantly, she left, blowing kisses to the sleeping preemies on her way out.

Half an hour later, she picked up Sano-nii and drove to the station. “I brought water. He’ll need it.” Sano-nii said.

“Hmph, we’re way too nice. He should appreciate how we’re trying to alleviate his hangover in the morning.”

“Yeah, we shouldn’t give it to him.” Her idiotic brother was about to pour the water out the car window.

“Don’t you dare!” She yelped, as the warm wind swept through her short hair. “Give it to me, I’ll save it for my shift tomorrow.”

“Damn, make up your mind.” He clicked his tongue. For a while, they were quiet.

“Mama would give him water.” Uki murmured.

“Well, she’s not here anymore.”

Breast cancer was ugly and fast. Her illness had forced Sano-nii and Papa to reconcile, after years of estrangement. Then, with her death, they had unraveled, fighting each other when they could and fighting others when they couldn’t. Uki had to hold the family together, and it was hard, to essentially be a nurse at all hours of the day. But she didn’t have a choice. She loved her father and brothers, and now that Mama was gone, she was only fiercer about it. She didn’t want to lose anyone again.

Their father was waiting for them, under the supervision of three cops, who released him after Sano-nii signed whatever they wanted.

“Hey, you two.” He grimaced. His hands were covered in bandages, and one eye was purple and swelling.

“You’re a wreck, Papa.” She hated how her voice sounded so pitiful, and she opened the water bottle for him. “You’ve caused so much trouble. Here, drink up, and let’s go home.”

***

“Saito-san proposed.” Tokio-san casually said, when they bought coffee. A red maple leaf caught in her bun and she nonchalantly removed it.

Uki’s eyes widened. “You just had your one-year anniversary! Why is he rushing?”

“He might get a job in Hokkaido.”

“Then, are you going with him?”

“I said I would think it over.”

Uki blew out a breath, and watched how the steam evaporated in the cool air. “Marriage, huh? That’s a big step.”

“For you, maybe. You’re twenty-two. You have plenty of time.” Tokio-san was ten years older.

“If I ever met anyone. Katsu is the only one I see on a semi-regular basis, and I’d never marry a NEET. So, do you not feel ready?”

“No, I am.” She admitted, as they walked into the bustling hospital lobby. “But I like my job too.”

They had the day shift now, and some of the infants were just waking up. After greeting the other nurses, Uki checked on the little ones. Most of them were doing well, and she cooed encouragement. “Good morning, everyone. Let’s work hard today.”

Then, Tokio-san tapped her shoulder. “I just got a call. C-section for twins, 32 weeks. You and I are going to retrieve them.”

“Alright.”

They hurried to the operating room, wheeling two spare incubators. Tokio-san accepted the first child and began to work methodically. Uki quickly took the second, and she carefully inserted the breathing tube. There, the baby gasped, and Uki smiled. The next few hours would be critical, but she had helped welcome this tiny life.

After they transported the infants to the NICU, Tokio-san spoke. “I’ve decided. I refuse to quit and move to Hokkaido.”

“What will your boyfriend say?”

“He’ll have to deal with it. He’s a grown man, that shouldn’t be a problem.” It apparently wasn’t, because on Monday, Tokio-san was pink-cheeked. “Saito-san said that he’s staying here after all.”

Uki threw her hands up in celebration. “Then, is it time to look at wedding gowns? Or are you having a Japanese-style wedding?”

Tokio-san brushed it off, saying she hadn’t said yes to him yet. But it was clear that she would, and Uki was happy for her.

***

Ota was being bullied, and since Papa was late for the parent-teacher meeting, Uki arrived in his stead. The bully’s parents denied any wrongdoing, and she grew irritated. She didn’t realize that she had raised her voice and the argument had turned into an outright screaming match. She only saw red, refusing to calm down even as other teachers had to drag the parties apart.

“Those people need to relearn manners! How could they be so mean to a cute young lady like me?” She huffed, as they walked back to the car.

“But, thank you, Uki-nee.” Ota said.

“I’m your sister, that’s what I do. And you have to tell me when things like this happen. If you stay quiet, I can’t help.” He nodded, and she readjusted his scarf for him with a sigh. “It’s so cold, but not enough to snow.”

“Mm.”

“What should we have for dinner?”

“Soba.”

“Good idea.” And she was reminded of Tokio-san, who cooked the dish often. Saito-san liked the buckwheat noodles. But lately, Tokio-san had been quieter than usual, and Uki had not heard her mention her husband for a while.

The following day, she noticed her friend’s eyes were red. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Then, they both looked up as the door opened.

Saito-san strode over. There was a weariness in his expression, when Uki inspected him closer. “Tokio.”

“Hajime?” She glanced at Uki, before saying to her husband. “We can talk outside.” But she had forgotten her coat, and Uki went to give it to her. She stopped short though, for she could hear them through the door.

Saitou-san’s voice drifted out. “You’ve been upset since this morning, and I want to know why.”

“You know why. We hardly see each other, and when we do, we never talk. I miss you, even when you’re right there.”

There was a pause. “Work has been busy.”

“So am I. And yet, we have to make time for each other.”

“I’ll try.” He said at last.

“You will?”

“Yes. Because I love you.” He said it like a fact; it wasn’t romantic at all.

Tokio-san shakily answered. “I love you too. But we need to do more than this.”

“I know.”

Uki remembered herself and slowly backed away. It was just in time, because her phone suddenly vibrated. “Ota?” She asked.

“Hi, Uki-nee. Do you need anything from the supermarket?”

“The supermarket? Are you there?” She heard chatter in the background. “Look, don’t worry about it. I’ll stop by after I leave, so you can go home. Sano-nii is working overtime today, but Papa should be finished soon.” Their father drove vegetables and woven baskets from the countryside.

There was a shuffling noise, as if Ota shook his head. “It’s okay. I should help out more, around the house. I’m not a little kid, you don’t have to take care of me all the time.” He was right.

She exhaled. “Hang on, I wrote down a list earlier and I’ll read it to you.”

***

Cherry blossoms were outside Papa’s hospital room. He had sprained his ankle, and Uki desperately needed a break. She fluffed his pillow and checked his vitals, anything to busy her mind. “Have you been crying?” Papa asked her.

“It’s allergies.” She lied and blew her nose into a tissue. She’d have to redo her makeup later.

“If you say so.” He leaned back, waiting.

“One of the babies didn’t make it. Organ failure. I’m not usually like this!” She defended. “Tokio-san’s hormonal, because now she’s pregnant and she already has Eiji, the little boy she adopted with Saito-san. Anyway, the parents cried, then she cried, and I cried because of her. Saito-san took her home early though, so here I am. Once I feel better, I have to go back.”

“If it hurts, why are you working as a nurse?”

"I want to be here. This is the hospital that took care of Mama, until the very end. And I’m always minding you, Sano-nii, and Ota. At least, babies are cute and they give nothing but love. It’s so rough, when we lose one."

“That’s because you care so much.”

“It’s not a bad thing!” She snapped.

“Of course not.” He ruffled her hair. “If you didn’t, we’d be helpless. You’ve done a good job, putting up with this old man and your brothers. So, don’t forget that caring is what you do best. That’s why you can keep going on, even when your work is tough.”

Damn it, now she was tearing up again. “Why can’t you say more things like that?”

“Uh…” He coughed.

“Knock, knock.” Sano-nii drawled as he entered. Ota tailed him, carrying a duffel bag. “Good grief, I couldn’t believe it when I heard you were the patient.”

“Well, it’s not like I wanted to be here. Tch, now I can’t drive. And aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“I’m on lunch break, I might as well spend it here. You’ve got a nice view from your window, and Ota wanted to drop off bento boxes.”

“Here, Uki-nee.” Ota handed her one. “You should eat too.”

“Thanks. We should eat fast, you need to get back to school.”

As they ate, they bickered and raised their voices often and laughed too loudly. It wasn’t exactly a flower viewing, but she was with her family, and that made it alright.