#SOMEONE HOLD ME I'M ABOUT TO FEEL AN EMOTION

[dewdropdinosaur]

Lay All Your Love On Me

ALASTOR X READER X LUCIFER

Summary: Insecurity bites harder than one would think in the underworld, and you are no stranger to its sting. However, with two affleunt and attractive boyfriends, you may learn just how beautiful you are. (AKA: My lovely you are beautiful the way you are and these boys wanna show you)

Warnings: NSFW/18+

Oral sex/cunnilingus, implied P in V, nipple play, Dom/Sub dynamics, use of names such as "Daddy"/"Ducky" in sexual context, restraints, SMUT

Only my second time writting smut so...sorry

Requested by @boogiewoog

Requests OPEN

In the vibrant, chaotic realm of Hell, where redemption seemed like a distant dream, a unique bond blossomed among three unlikely souls - Alastor, Lucifer, and Y/N. Alastor, the radio demon with a twisted sense of humor, Lucifer, the suave and sophisticated ruler of Hell, and Y/N, a human soul, whose presence brought light to the darkest corners of their world. Nothing could ever compare the joy that Y/N had awoken within the two demons, loving them both equally proved no challenge for her bright soul. With her love and guidance, the relationship bloomed and soon all three parties fell head over hooves in love with each other. From dates in Alastor’s radio tower, to Lulu Land, or helping Y/N work around the kitchen; Hell seemed like Heaven. 

However, not everything was sunshine and rubber ducks. At least for Y/N. One evening, as the crimson sky draped over the cityscape of Hell, Y/N found herself consumed by her own insecurities. She sat alone in her room, the flickering candlelight casting shadows across the space. Her fingers traced the scars and imperfections on her skin, each one a reminder to herself that even in death, she couldn’t look how other people did. Dating one handsome and affluent demon was one thing, but two was another all together. What if she wasn’t good enough for them, what if someone else came along? What if Lillith came back, heaven forbid, Y/N just knew Lucifer would leave her in the dust the second that demoness walked through the doors., Y/N couldn't shake the nagging whispers of doubt that plagued her mind, centered around her own insecurities about her body. She just couldn't help but scrutinize every curve and contour of her form. The voices of doubt echoed in her mind, taunting her with their cruel words, as she fought to hold back tears.

Just then, a gentle knock sounded at the door, and in walked Alastor, his signature grin brightening the room like a ray of sunshine. Beside him stood Lucifer, his elated gaze filled with slight concern as he took in Y/N's troubled expression.

“Ducky, we just came to get you for dinner! Al made a real nice…something. What did you say was in it again?”

“It’s just jambalaya, I promise all normal ingredients. Why don’t you join us darling?”

“That’s alright, guys. I think I’m not super hungry right now.” Shying away from Lucifer’s embrace, Y/N wrapped her arms around her waist. 

Alastor and Lucifer sensed her distress, looking at each other the moment the words passed her lips.  With silent understanding, they came slowly to her side, their presence comforting and reassuring. Y/N looked up, her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over.

"Ducky, what’s going on in that head of yours?" Lucifer's voice was smooth like velvet, soothing her troubled mind.

Y/N hesitated, her voice barely a whisper. "I... I feel so insecure about my body. I can't help but compare myself to others, to feel like I'm not enough for you two."

Alastor knelt beside her, his grin warm and genuine. "Now, now, my dear. You are perfect just the way you are. Perfect just for us."

“But, I am not. Just look at me! I am not slender, heck you couldn’t put me next to anyone without noticing. Let alone Lillith or–” Holding her arms just to gesture to herself, Y/N could feel herself spill all her emotions manically. 

Suddenly, Lucifer grabbed her wrists and pinned her down against the bed. His smoldering gaze glowered down at her as his face leaned down to whisper in her ear. 

“I don’t want to hear that name off your pretty little lips, okay? You are mine, the one for me. Not her, not anyone else.” 

Coming to their side, Alastor joined his partner in looking down at Y/N. Using his hand to reach around and cup her chin, bringing her gaze to him. 

“My dear, I think out little darling needs to learn a little lesson. Mhmm?” 

A dark chuckle erupted from Lucifer’s throat, as he stood up and let his grip go. Both men now stared down at their partner, who laid on the bed; half near tears from her thoughts and half near moaning at the sight of her boys looking at her in such a manner. 

"We love you, Y/N," Alastor murmured, his voice soft like a melody. "Every inch of you, flaws and all." Slow kisses started down her neck and chest, heat blooming in her core. Attempting to maneneur her shirt lower, her hands werre halted by Lucifer; who grabbed her wrist and pinned them to the headboard as the red demon continued a show of his devotion. 

“Ducky, you are going to learn very quickly. Your pleasure, is our only concern.”

With a quick snap of his fingers, all clothes were removed from Y/N and both men were left shirtless; toned and slender bodies on full display. Both men’s eyes darkened with hunger at the sight of her bare form, a silent understanding among them of what was about to happen. 

Alastor leaned down and took one of her hardened nipples in his mouth, the warmth of his tongue teasing the aroused bud. Dragging her hands across her torso, he slowly marked her skin with his hands. Lucifer, instead dipped down and spread her thighs, enjoying the way they felt in his hands. Slowly kissing up her thighs, just barely ghosting over where she needed him most, Y/N let out a soft moan. 

“Darling, see what you do to us? You are absolutely breathtaking.”

“Driving me mad ducky, fuck, you are just so good to squeeze.” 

Finally giving into her whimpers, Lucifer licked one long stripe up her dripping slit. Y/N gripped the sheets below her, legs attempting to get away from the overwhelming sensation. Alastor pinned her legs to the bed, as his mouth came off her nipple with a pop. 

“Now darling, let the man finish his meal. He hasn’t even started yet.” Lucifer then dived into her cunt like a man starved, sucking on her clit and slurping her jucies that it was better than heavenly ambrosia; while Alastor moved his minstratitions to her neck, sucking softly. It was only a matter of time before that familiar band became taut in her stomach. 

“Fuck, Luci…baby please.”

“Let go ducky, cum all over daddy’s face.” 

That’s what did it, Y/N felt the coil in her stomach snap as she cried Lucifer’s name. Cum now coated his face and the bedsheets below as her high overtook her senses and she saw stars. Lifting his head up slowly, slick shone and glinted. Licking his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips and both moaned at the salty taste. Pulling back, Lucifer looked at Alastor who smirked; grabbing Y/N’s chin and forcing her gaze to him. 

“Now darling, how would you like your beautiful lips to scream my name next?” 

As the night unfolded, Y/N found solace in the arms of her two loves, their embrace a sanctuary from the harsh whispers of doubt that had plagued her for so long. In their presence, she discovered a newfound sense of confidence, knowing that no matter what challenges lay ahead, she would always have Alastor and Lucifer by her side, guiding her through the shadows and into the light of self-acceptance.

In the heart of Hazbin Hotel, amidst the chaos and clamor, a quiet moment of love blossomed, as Alastor and Lucifer vowed to stand by Y/N's side, their bond unbreakable and their love unconditional.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Also, I would like to add that Malleus’s blatant disregard for the autonomy of others and fits of rage is DELIBERATE on his end. Being one of the top five mages in the entire world, I am sure that he KNOWS there is a large disparity between his power/social and the rest of the peers/subordinates etc. His sheer and utter confidence in his abilities to get what he wants and general disregard for others isn’t only an indicator of his awareness about this disparity, but is also a reflection of the abuses of his power AND social status as a whole.

In light of his age, imagine the amount of times he has repeated these mistakes despite others advice and criticisms against his choices. Only Ace has been able to overcome others general reverence and fear towards Malleus when it came to calling him out. He is not an innocent person who is ignorant about the ways of humanity verses faes, and is certainly not the innocent character the fandom (especially those who are infatuated by him) think he is.

[Referencing this post!]

***Standard disclaimer: In sharing my thoughts, I do not mean to disparage Malleus fans. Furthermore, me disliking him should not detract from your own enjoyment of the character. If you do not feel comfortable reading about this topic (ie critique of Malleus’s character), then I encourage you to scroll on and to not engage with this post.***

My thoughts below the cut!

I do feel that, to some degree, the disregard for others and inappropriate fits of rage come from blatant ignorance (since Malleus did have a very isolated and sheltered upbringing). However, it's also hard for me to believe that in his 178 years of living that he was NOT told countless times by those around him (mostly Lilia and his grandmother, Maleficia) to wield his power and social status more tactfully than how he has. Did he take none of those lessons to heart??? What about the 2-3 years he spent living among the non-fae at NRC? Nothing from then too?? Regarding self-awareness of his strength and social status, Malleus has made it clear on more than one occasion that he stands above others. Right from his first appearance in the main story (in book 2), it's implied he's well aware of his position--so much so that he deliberately hides his identity from Yuu. He also cannot propose to Eliza in Ghost Marriage because he is the crown prince of a nation. Time and time again, Malleus's status is mentioned and it plays into his importance as the sole heir to Briar Valley. He must also know he is powerful, given that he is one of the top 5 strongest mages in the world and can perform incredible feats (like reassembling a stage and walking through Vil's poisonous miasma in book 5) like they're nothing. His grandmother and Lilia tell him the Draconias are powerful and shouldn’t use their magic to harm, but to help those they rule over. Yet he seems to have surprisingly few qualms when turning these powers against people who are only at a fraction of his power (Rook, his dorm mates, everyone in the Scalding Sands trip group, Ortho, etc.) or have no magic at all (remember when he attacked those civilians in Terror is Trending and the other Diasomnia students had to restrain him?). Malleus may be emotional in these moments, but the fact remains that he's making the deliberate, intentional choice to wield his magic in this way. He has the ability to hold himself back (as we see him refrain from fighting Rook in Malleus's PE Uniform vignette, only because he knows Rook is baiting him), but the vast majority of the time he fails to do this. For someone who is acutely aware of his power, you'd think he would... I don't know, keep a better leash on it? And what about his identity? So Malleus is concerned about Sebek insulting Leona (the prince of another country) but he ISN'T concerned about how his own fits of anger poorly reflect on himself, who is the CROWN PRINCE of a country??? Please make that make sense... Why is Malleus so selective 💀

I'm actually quite shocked at how little Malleus's pride and arrogance is pointed out; it's usually Leona who gets those labels even though Malleus is also just as arrogant, prideful, and confident in his own powers. Most of the time, I feel like I see Malleus being called "innocent". Maybe his negative traits on display get overlooked because TWST tries so hard to present Malleus to us as someone we are supposed to like (especially with how often they use his overpoweredness or loneliness is used as a punchline for jokes). Our interactions with Malleus are also so few and so short, particularly early in the main story, that fan project their own ideas about what he's like onto him and that forms a certain “image” of him that may not be the same as how he actually is. Him being lonely makes it easy for fans to perceive him as desperate for company and even easier for fans insert themselves as his “special” friend or S/O to fill the void.

It's... quite ironic, really? Malleus says in Riddle's Suitor Suit vignettes that he is familiar with the concept of "noblesse oblige", which is the implied duty of the privileged and nobility to act gracefully towards those less privileged. Yet... he is sometimes overstepping "fae playfulness" or "teenage childishness/immaturity" and continuously creating situations which put people around him in danger (all of Endless Halloween Night, not holding back his attacks against the Magicam Monsters, all the times he let his temper get out of control, book 7 OB, etc.) When defending the extremes he took in book 7 by citing his status and his UM, Malleus has this to say, which is very telling of his lucidity: "Monitoring? Meddling? Heh, how silly. It's a king's duty to govern, is it not? I'm watching over you. To ensure no nightmares befall you in the fairy tales you now reside in... To ensure you have happy dreams that last forever!" It's implied that Malleus's grandma has told him since childhood that their line has powerful magic to protect their people's smiles--and here he is, overextending those words to people that aren't even his subjects, and twisting the meaning to justify his own brutal rule.

What I noticed is... Malleus is often so oriented on seeing the situation from his POV that he fails to consider those from any entity aside from himself. In Endless Halloween Night, he feels sorry for the ghosts who showed up late and were left out of the festivities because he can relate to them, so therefore he wants to make sure they are included. In book 7, Malleus fears his loved ones leaving and projects this fear onto everyone else so he feels right in being the one coming in to be their "hero" and grant them happy endings they never asked for. In his own Dorm Uniform vignettes, Malleus frames the circumstances as, "I wouldn't be mad if you did the same thing to me" instead of listening to his peers' complaints. He centers problems around himself (which admittedly is very frustrating to me), and this is how Malleus tries to understand and navigate the world. This gives me the impression that he has a very particular way of thinking and it's perhaps difficult for him to understand others, even with extensive pointers.

I truly believe Malleus is ignorant about humans and fae. That much matches up with what we know of his history. What I do NOT get is why he continues to remain ignorant when 1) he has spent a few years exposed to non-fae and their ways; even if this pales in comparison to the 175ish other years of his life, he should have some new basis for appropriate social interactions with other races, and 2) most of the major adult figures in his life are exposing to him he should consider others' perspectives and try to learn more about that which he is unfamiliar with. Malleus has so many opportunities to expand his horizons and get to know new people, but he seems to sit around and keep waiting for others take the initiative for him. But he could initiate too, so why doesn't he???? (He has shown he is capable of it, as he approaches Deuce to fix his virtual pet and chatting with Idia about the same pet in the main story; if not by himself, then Lilia can easily assist or invite him into activities such as the Silk City trip.) Even if Malleus fails to socialize in a way that's considered appropriate, at least that's something he can learn from and correct for next time... But why doesn’t he????????? If he did, it would sure help out with his inability to empathize with his peers and could even curb his temper (which would be seen as socially inappropriate). So why exactly does he seem to know so little and make so little effort to try and rectify this???? Why does he keep postulating that his word is above everyone else’s and then get upset when people don’t like him for this very alienating attitude? Aaaaah, it's a sad cycle to witness him devolve into again and again... 😭

P. S. Bless Ace for being the one character who still held it against Malleus for the fucked up “prank” he pulled in Endless Halloween Night (and then convincing everyone the misunderstanding was their faults for “attacking the ghosts first”).

[redeyegrl]

☆ crybaby ; jude bellingham

you were laid on the couch, your eyes fluttering due to the intense amounts of tiredness you were feeling whilst watching your favorite show on tv. you were wrapped around in your favorite blanket, head smushed onto the pillow that was laid underneath.

lately, these past few days haven't been too good for you. not only were you, yet again, bombarded with so much work, you were dealing with a lot emotionally. especially towards your best friend who currently is now in madrid playing for one of the biggest clubs ever.

you and jude have known each other for quite sometime but only remained as close friends. your friendship started with a follow on instagram which led to him flying you out to meet him for the first time. truly, you thought that you both might hit it off and actually become a couple but that conversation still hasn’t surfaced.

you didn’t want to be the first to tell him you liked him, but you also didn’t know if he felt the same way. even when he was flying you out, taking you to his favorite spots in madrid, holding your hands when you were both together in front of his teammates, to him giving you sneaky kisses late at night when you would stay over at his place. all of that and no sign of him wanting anything more than just being friends. call it a situationship if you will.

earlier today, you came across dating rumors regarding jude on social media and it made you almost completely unproductive. you couldn’t stop thinking about jude potentially being someone else’s boyfriend. after all, you knew you couldn’t control who someone decides to be with, but it always stung when you would hear his name attached to someone who wasn’t you.

your eyes slowly start to shut until you heard the annoying sound of your ringtone. "it's 2am, who the hell is calling me" you say incoherently. you rub your eyes to try and read the caller i.d, only to figure out it was jude. "what does he want" you say sitting up, slightly annoyed.

"hello" you respond in the most monotone voice possible. "well morning to you as well" jude replies, seemingly in a great mood. "it's 2am and i was trying to go to bed, if you don't have anything important to say, i would like to go back to sleep" you say in a hurry, rubbing your tired stressed eyes. "and what's up with you" jude laughs on the opposite end. "nothing jude im just tired. you know it's late over here" you slightly whine, knowing jude has the time saved of where you were living on his clock app.

"just wanted to let you know i'm up and about to head off to training" he tells you. well, he never did that before. nonetheless, you did find the reminder cute. "well, have fun then." you say before you were about to hang up.

"wait y/n, i have something to ask you" "he rushes to tell you. you on the other hand, truthfully didn't want to talk to anyone since you weren't in the mood. you already cried tons today, the last thing you needed was to talk to the one who made you so emotional.

"yeah go on" you allowed. "i beg you to tell me how you're feeling. are you alright?" he questions in soft tone. you could already feel the tears briming in your eyes, the heat of your cheeks starting to burn. "do you want the truth?" you whisper. "why would you lie to me?" he questions yet again.

"i'm not doing that great" you respond. you wanted to tell him you were okay so you could head off to bed, but something in you wanted to let him know you weren't. you started sniffling since crying always activates your sinuses. "y/n why are you crying? tell me what's wrong" he demanded delicately.

"i was online today" you say trying to collect yourself. "read some stuff that made me kinda sad" you say quietly, wiping away the lukewarm tears running down your cheeks using your hoodie wrist cuffs. "is that all? what do you mean" he questions, confused as to what you meant. "the dating rumors about you and --" you finally confessed.

all you could hear was jude's small laughs which made you want to cry even more. you had no clue what those laughs meant and you hated that him laughing was the way he would respond. "why are you laughing" you chuckle trying to hide your cries.

"y/n, i wouldn't be too worried about it" he confirms which made you feel a small bit alright. "if i was seeing anyone i would tell you, would i not?" he reminds you, which he was right about. "but what if you're hiding it from me" you pout, he giggled some more. "y/n, im not interested in anyone" he makes aware.

that statement made your heart sink. tears started to form all over again followed by your jaw slowly starting to quiver. "you mean that?" you ask him, hoping he would change his response. "i mean, those girls the media puts me with i'm not interested" he responds. "no, i mean, are you really not interested in anyone" you ask again, playing with the strings on your hoodie, starting to regret even picking up the phone.

"well there is this one girl who's always on my mind, and i sometimes still get nervous around her. she's so perfect in my eyes. she can get grumpy and she's always busy which annoys me. i would fly her over when i'd miss her, take her out to all of my favorite spots when she lands, we'd have secret rendezvous late at night, sleepovers at my house as well.. she's actually my best friend." he rambles as you can hear him walk his way to the car.

you started smiling just a little bit, your hand palming your entire face due to how giddy you were starting to feel. it was obvious he was talking about you. "well, i wonder who this great girl is" you playfully ask. jude laughs with you as well. "she's pretty. her name starts with a (-) and ends with (-)" he jokes, answering with the letters of your name.

"i really miss her too. thinking of bringing her over to me for two weeks. gonna maybe try and make her my girlfriend i don't know i don't know" he continues on with his playful antics. "wow, i think she would love that jude. shes so lucky" you play along, you both now laughing on the phone.

"so i'll see you next week?" he asks. you hum in response, now grateful you picked up the phone. "go to sleep y/n, i don't want to keep you up". you were very tired so all you could do was hum back. "one more thing before i let you go to sleep" he tells you, you put the phone on speaker and lay back down on the couch. "hmm" you respond.

"you're such a cry baby about me and i like that" he laughs.

[johannestevans]

sorry i finished new episode and i'm obsessed as ever

kabru clasping hold of laios' hands is so insane. laios doesn't remember this little twink's name, all he remembers is that this guy ate monster food with him and showed a slight enthusiasm for him, which to laios is unthinkable

it's hilarious seeing kabru's fervent obsession with and manipulation of laios' feelings and priorities contrasted with laios' depths of pain and distress at shuro's rejection of him and how that was borne of shuro hiding his true feelings

obvs for shuro like. he's explicitly introduced with a level of politeness and also emotional repression that's linked not only to his cultural upbringing in the east but is obviously related to his class position, esp bc the dungeon was meant to serve as his coming of age

or to hone his experiences for a return to rule as lord - and with his proposal to falin like. it's so interesting to me that shuro finds so many of falin's traits so desirable when she and laios genuinely are so similar

falin IS extremely high-empathy whereas laios is very low-empathy, but they find pleasure and joy and intrigue in similar things, they have similar senses of humour, they're similarly inexpressive or overly expressive depending on the moment

at the end of the day like, if you're going to propose to that girl and ask her to come back to your home country and marry you despite the fact that she's so obviously a lesbian, at the very least you have to pretend to like her brother

but like. she's quite LIKE her brother. they have the same broad frame, if laios gained a bit of weight i bet he'd have a similarly luxurious bust, they're both a bit clueless. she's just a woman and laios is just a man

but yeah sorry to move on from shuro's deep and seemingly inherent distrust, nay disgust, of other men that is no doubt informed by the extent to which he's been raised wholly by legions of women vs his inclination to see other men as rivals or opponents

(worsened by the extent to which he sees laios as naive and is offset by the extent of laios' earnestness)

but here you see the EXACT SAME THING happening to laios again in REAL TIME. someone else needs to keep him on side and so they're being polite

kabru is going beyond politeness and is outright lying and manipulating because he's just a delicious bitch that way, but like. the exact same thing is happening to laios - he thinks he's making a new friend and he is LATCHING ONTO kabru just like he did to shuro

is he being intelligent or tactful about it? no. god no. he's infodumping eagerly about monster food, he's answering all of kabru's questions - and!!! kabru is asking him QUESTIONS! he's being so ENTHUSIASTIC!!! and so laios rushes to cook for this new friend, this stranger

and inwardly kabru is horrified because jesus fuck, is this guy SERIOUS? and yeah he's serious about everything, he's earnest and eager about absolutely everything, and kabru is fascinated with this new variety of man but also... fucking hell

i think it's vital that they're introduced to one another initially in this group setting, because i think marcille, who is much naturally more distrustful, would ask more questions of kabru - and falin is very trusting but also would. twig something off about everything

i die because like. falin left home because she couldn't handle people's issues with magic and also because like. she was constantly in the position, i would have no doubt, of trying to explain laios to their family and friends, whilst also being beset by spirits

like obviously she wanted to go to magic school, but it was more than that - she needed to go out and grow and become an adult, and not do so in her brother's shadow and laios went off on his own, haplessly, and they end up together again bc they take care of each other

falin is a weird girl, she likes to play in the dirt, she accidentally does all this genius stuff, she's a little clueless and a little out of it, but to marcille and shuro, this is desperately desirable - she's beautiful, she's a genius, she's so loving

they see those things in her because they shine out of her like sunshine - especially because she's not intimidating, you know? whereas laios, blundering, autistic, selfish, obsessive laios, who talks a mile a minute and is so tall and broad, people find him to be too much

idk i just. i think for falin a big difficulty she has is actually in setting boundaries - she's always rushing to take care of laios even though it's not her job, she holds back on saying no to shuro because she hates to say no

marcille touches falin ALL over, touches her hair, scrubs her clean, holds her TIT while channelling magic, and falin is overwhelmed by it and you can see it in her face, but saying no is so hard for her - no to spirits, to strangers, to her friends, to her brother

i say this because like. they really don't interact much at all in the course of the manga but i think that kabru and falin actually have so much in common, both of them haunted by ghosts and both of them fixated more than they mean to be on laios

falin because to some extent i think she feels guilty about abandoning him to go to school even though she NEEDED that, and kabru because he's just an obsessive little homo and he can't cope with his need for laios' massive dick

[hollandorks]

haven

battinson! bruce wayne x f! reader

interlude three

Summary: After the sudden deaths of her mother and grandmother, y/n is forced to return home to Gotham…and to the man who broke her heart three years ago. Back in Bruce Wayne’s inescapable orbit, she vows to get to the bottom of her former best friend’s new cold personality. But Bruce’s secrets aren’t what she’s expecting.

a/n: I'm alive!!! I don't want to talk about how long it's been since the last chapter because it's a little bit embarrassing. Anyways, I'm back! Hopefully! So here's a brief little Bruce POV to hold you over until the next real chapter, which should hopefully only be a week or two maybe? (Also, I apologize in advance....)

Series Masterlist

word count: 1.2k

Despite everyone who was trying hard to keep her alive, y/n felt utterly alone. 

Bruce's POV

“Bruce, my dear boy, I don’t tell you often enough, but you are…so stubbornly stupid it makes me feel twice my age.” 

Bruce startled and whirled around to face Alfred. The older man was leaning casually along the work station where Bruce’s video equipment was, his cane next to him, legs crossed at the ankles. 

Bruce opened his mouth and then closed it again. 

It was noon now, and he still hadn’t been to bed. He’d been out late staking out Maverick’s again, hoping to catch a lead on Frank Gallo or anyone that could lead him to the man, when Alfred’s call had come. Security breach. Elevator. The panic had almost killed him. Alfred’s next call came in when Bruce was almost home, telling him that everyone was safe. So he had changed direction and left to clean himself up to make an appearance as Bruce instead. 

And still the fear lingered. Someone had been in his home, feet away from y/n, and he had yet to find any proof of how they had done it. 

He wouldn’t–couldn’t–sleep until he was certain she was safe. 

“What did I do this time?” Bruce finally asked. He turned back to the security footage he was pouring over. It terrified him that they could have been so close to y/n. That he could have been too late. That he could have–

He shut the thought down as quickly as it came. No use dwelling on it now. 

“What haven’t you done? You imploded the most important relationship you have–repeatedly, if we’re being honest. You keep secrets from her but toe the line so recklessly it’s going to blow up in your face. You let your emotions get the best of you. And that’s just lately. Shall I go on?” Alfred recrossed his ankles in the other direction. 

Bruce grit his teeth but said nothing. He restarted the security footage from the beginning and paused it frame by frame. A loud clack echoed around the abandoned station each time he smashed the button to go to the next frame. 

“Let’s change tactics then. How long are you going to let her live in fear before you tell her that the Batman is watching over her from inside her home?” 

Bruce’s jaw ached with the force of his clenched teeth. Still, he said nothing. First y/n had yelled at him, now Alfred. He knew his behavior was…abysmal to say the least. But he had more important things to focus on than everyone’s emotions, his own included. 

He had to find Frank Gallo, and take down the rest of the family, once and for all. When that was done, when y/n was safe, he would think about all the ways he had ruined his relationship with her. 

“Are you listening to me, Bruce?” 

“I am trying,” Bruce said with a smack of his fist against the table, “to figure out who the fuck broke into my home and threatened y/n!” His voice echoed loudly around him, setting the bats to fluttering and chittering above them. He restarted the footage once again. 

Alfred made a noise in his throat. “She hasn’t slept at all.” 

Something oily slid down Bruce’s spine. “Neither have I.” It was a deflection and they both knew it. It killed Bruce to know y/n was so scared. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it–other than find those responsible and make them pay. She wouldn’t want his comfort, wouldn’t want him to hover, so he was doing the next best thing and trying to end it. 

Alfred sighed. “All I’m saying is–” 

“I know what you’re saying.” 

“Then why do I have to keep saying it?” 

Bruce went back to ignoring the older man. Let Alfred think what he wanted. Bruce had work to do. Nothing would get better until Frank Gallo and the rest of his family and cronies were gone for good. 

What gives you the right to act like this? she’d asked, all of her anger turned towards Bruce like a roaring inferno. What gave him the right? He had admitted it to her right before that–I give too much of a shit. 

She didn’t know he was still in love with her. That he always had been. 

He’d hurt her so badly she couldn’t see what was right in front of her face–who he was, how he felt, what it was doing to him. If she would just open her eyes, she would know. 

Instead, she had yelled at him. 

He deserved it. He knew he deserved it. But walking in and seeing her hold Officer Martinez’s hand…it made him crazy. He had acted like the worst type of bastard without even thinking. It was pure instinct, the urge to protect her even from a guy like Martinez rising so strongly within him that it was almost as if he had blacked out. Like someone else had taken over his body. 

She rarely ever got mad at him. It had only happened a few times throughout their many years together. It was a sight to behold, her rage, and he had been equal measures impressed and angry both. 

“I don’t have time for this,” Bruce said after long stretch of silence. His voice was raw with exhaustion and emotion. “Either help me figure this out or go back upstairs.” 

He felt rather than saw Alfred bristle. He waited to get berated yet again, but Alfred merely pulled up the footage on another screen and got to work. 

They spent a few minutes in silence, Bruce’s eyes burning from lack of sleep, his thoughts churning. She hasn’t slept. He ached to go upstairs, to tell y/n that she was safe with him, that he would never let anything happen to her. 

But it already had, and all of it had been his fault. 

He knew without a doubt, just as he had known three years ago, that she was safest far away from him. And look what had happened already–the more she’d become entangled with him, with the Batman, the worse things got. She had spent three years in Bludhaven, far away from him, perfectly safe. And the minute she had come home to Gotham, come home to him…it had all gone to shit. Really it had gone to shit before that–when her grandmother had left the tower for the last time. 

Bruce liked to think that was his fault, too, not that he’d ever it admit it out loud. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” Alfred said into the silence. His voice was gentle, almost placating. 

“Mm.” It wasn’t working, then, Bruce thought. He already felt guilty enough. 

“I hate seeing you like this. Both of you.” Alfred sighed again. “I just think that talking about it–all of it–would help you both. It might ease the strain of…everything else going on.”

Bruce couldn’t see how it could help, only how it would make things worse. But he didn’t say that to Alfred, merely nodded and kept working. 

Two nights later, all Bruce could think about was that Alfred had been right. 

He should have told y/n the truth while he had the chance.

taglist:

@ktficworld @grunge-n-roses5 @anon-cat-posts @projectdreamwalker @warsaur @lachillona02 @crazyunsexycool @doetic @alexiris @that-girl-named-alex @harry-bowie-mercury @vaniasagitaa @widows-writings @missing-loki @exactlyelegantwizard @miriamnox @mavenmoon @eclipsedplanet @spencerrxids @giulia2372 @katara-is-a-goddess-changemymind @janezat @incorrectmarvelquotesss @spiritdetectivel @i-have-no-life-charlie @ilovemybabes @curseyouperrytheplatypus @lightsinmycity @yondiii @spideybv28 @fictionalmansl4t

[plumadot]

ok. ok. connecting the pretty much confirmed "jimmy is codfather somehow someway" post to the "first time flower husbands kiss" post and "jimmy is familiar to scott but they're still awkward" post.

what if the love scott feel isn't romantic love (or at least, not the primary source of it. maybe a secondary/later love?). it's the remnants of the devotion he feels for the codfather. it's intertwined with jimmy's prescence, his very being. so how does scott react to this unknown force drawing him to jimmy? the one that makes him trip over his words, this one-side attraction that has no reciprication?

he mistakes it for love, (as all unknowing aros do (/J)). that's why he pushes himself to kiss jimmy, to tangle his hands into scruffy blond hair, to hold their lips together for longer than he likes.

it felt foreign. not right, not like books and plays make it seem. jimmy's lips were too hot, scott's own heartbeat too fast, and the fire sounded too loud in the quiet space surrounding them.

he pulled away quickly (quicker than he should have, he scowls in the privacy of his tent) and locks eyes with jimmy. they're wide, but scott doesn't know him well enough to place what emotion they carry. shock? fear? horror? "i-i'm sorry-" he stumbles out, his lips failing him. jimmy's eyes soften. "s'ok scott" he shakes his head slightly before getting up. "i'll be heading to bed now. are you good with fire duty?" scott nods, and jimmy smiles softly. "alright then. goodnight." he walks away from the glow of the fire, leaving scott alone with his own thoughts.

(WOW that got away from me sorry anyways love this au <3 -🍳 (emoji is mine now >:) )

oh scott is definitely unsure about... everything. and that feeling is not something he's familiar with at all. imagine having lost someone many many years ago and suddenly they return but... they're not the same. jimmy is not a god, but there's definitely a part of him that scott knows intimately.

on one hand there's jimmy as a person; a sweet, almost carefree guy that scott is getting to know to be way more hardworking and courageous than most people. and then there's jimmy as a sorcerer, who holds a part of the entity scott has built his whole life around, whose powers could be immeasurable if only he knew how to unlock them, how to become whole again. and scott is unsure whom he feels this affection for. sometimes he thinks it's just for his god, sometimes he thinks it's both.

he's not ready to tell jimmy everything either. jimmy knows he's special somehow, that he's meant to be kept safe and that his magic is important to the world, as well as to scott. which should feel amazing, being the chosen one, but it doesn't. and every time scott looks at him, he feels it too. like he's losing himself, like he's becoming someone else. someone he should be. and he's not sure if he's ready for it.

it's fucked up lmao and i am so sorry

[catsteeth]

The Caged Bird & The Leashed Dog

Sandor Clegane x reader

+:✿ Chapter - 8 ✿:+ Moon Door.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-

Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it. 

CW: MDNI, NSFW themes, VIOLENCE, misogyny, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, mention of death, blood, threats of violence, mentions of arranged marriage, 

A/N: This is so late I'm so sorry yall- I was sick :-( 

Word Count: 3398

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚��� ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧

You sat in a carriage as it rocked back and forth. You couldn’t help thinking of the first time you rode to Kings Landing with your father. And now you are going home. looked in front of you and saw the face of Petyr Baelish. That same twisted smirk he always had. 

You turned your face away from him quickly. You tried to lift the blind from the window of the carriage but Petyr stopped you, 

“Best you don’t, my Dear.” He said, his hand on yours, “If someone would see you they would turn you into the Lannisters.” You didn’t know which was worse, Lannisters or what scraps were left of your family in the Eyrie. 

You pulled your hand away from his, “The knights and guards of the Vale will know me.” You huffed.

“That may well be true, but that is why they have sworn themselves to our house.” You held back a disgusted frown at him, referring to your house as ‘Our House’, “They are sworn to keep you safe, even if that means to lie. To say they’ve no idea where you are.”

“Does Lyssa know I am coming.” You asked as you looked down at your hands in your lap, you picked at the skin around your nails.

“She knows I went looking for you, she knows I would only return with you.”  He grabbed hold of your hand. His consistent advances made you feel sick, but also, think of Sandor. Like what he’d have done if he saw this. “I would not have ceased my search for you til I found you.” 

“And how does she feel about that?” You asked, ignoring his advances.

“Should she not feel happy? Contented her husband wishes to see her own flesh and  blood safe?” He said with a smirk

“You see a particular side of Lyssa.” You said as you repositioned yourself uncomfortably in your seat.

“She has always been predisposed towards me.” You tried to conceal yet another disgusted expression, “It would be only fitting she saves her best self for me.”

“She's like a coin. One side is an entirely different being than the other.” That was true, she often switched from hot to cold within an instant. You always thought it was cause she was mad. It grew tiresome after some time.

“May I be curious? When you fled, what is it that you fled from, and what is it that you were fleeing to?” He asked, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“I fled my marriage. I was fleeing for my family.” Technically the last bit wasn’t a lie. Which made it easier for you to sound convincing. 

“I see, to tell you the truth, that only makes my curiosity greater. Ser Cole told me you were not… cooperative in his efforts to bring you to me.” You smiled to yourself, stabbing a knight is not what you’d call cooperative either. 

“I don’t trust so easily. Any man could dress in silver plates and tell me he’s a knight.” You said, “And truth be told I do not see you as family.” You said leaning back into the uncomfortable cushion of the carriage.

“And what do you see me as?” He asked, his grip on your hand tightening 

You ignored him. “I want to see my family. My mother and my brother.” Not technically a lie either, only not in the way he thinks.

“I wouldn’t think you’d wish to see Lyssa. After what you’d said.” His grip loosened,

“Our blood is our blood, our name is our name.” You said, with no emotion.

“I must admit that is not all I am curious about. You fled in the midst of a battle, a great war. Not one person saw you, not one knight. That is all without mentioning that you managed to flee without a scratch to you. Completely unharmed. It would seem almost impossible without help. Strong help.” He questioned you,

“Lika is a strong horse, and fast. And I, a skilled rider.” You responded quickly,

“So I hear.” He smirked.

“Now I must be curious.” You said, “You described Tyrion bereft, positively. In your words.” You perched your lips slightly and looked down, somewhat saddened by your own words.

“He is. I have no reason to lie to you on such a matter.” He said, his smirk disappearing. 

“Tell it then, all of it.” Your eyes are sharp, and cold.

“Why burden yourself with another man's madness.” He asked, almost immediately annoyed by the question.

“To torment myself with my own guilt I suppose.” You shook your head,

“He was injured in the battle.” He huffed.

“Badly?” You interrupted

“Not as badly as they say. Deeply cut across his face.” He motioned a slash across his face, “Day after the battle, he demanded the city be combed for you. He was convinced that you were taken by some Baratheon men, that you might be in the city. Dead or alive he wanted you found. Once the city was clear of any sign of you he became convinced you were kidnapped, soon to be held for ransom.” You looked back down to your nails you picked at. Feeling guilty, but not enough to go back. “You certainly convinced him of your loyalty.” He chimed in, “Or perhaps he underestimated you.” 

“Perhaps both.”

As you approached the Eyrie, you were stopped when it was time to walk to the Bloody Gate. 

Petyr stepped out first, offering you his hand as you stepped out after him. You took it reluctantly.

Reminding yourself to play the part. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Meanwhile, Sandor had been captured by the Brotherhood Without Banners. 

While he was taken to an undisclosed location with a bag over his head, he could hear the banter of the men talking. But the sounds of them could not drown out the anxiety he had over you. 

A big part of him wanted to push you out of his mind, to focus on what was happening right then and now. Focus on getting out of this situation. But he couldn’t ignore the pit of dread in his stomach. 

His thoughts kept coming, over and over again, “where is she, is she okay, has anyone seen her?” 

It made him feel a certain kind of frustrated anxiety, knowing he couldn’t be near you, to be sure you were alright.

He was finally taken to some filthy tavern with an even filthier bag on his head. 

“What an uncommonly large person, how does someone capture such an uncommonly large person?” He heard while he was blinded by the bag over his head, until it was stripped. “Ah! Not a man at all- A Hound!” Thoros said, a man Sandor recognized instantly. 

“Thoros, the fuck you doing here?” He questioned with furrowed brows. 

“Drinking and talking too much, the usual.” Thoros said drunk.

Another man who had captured Sandor spoke up, “There was another with him… A woman.” Sandors gaze dropped and went towards the man who spoke up, a soft groan leaving his lips. 

“You sure about that?” Thoros asked, taking another sip of his ale.

“Oh yes, no mistaking that.” The man said as the others snickered, making Sandor groan a little louder. He hated men talking about you, it made him want to break their jaw so they’d talk a little less.

“Your woman I’d assume, hard to believe but stranger things in this world.” Sandor rolled his eyes and groaned even louder. “Oh well, still a pretty prize, Lads!” Thoros shouted, making the men who captured him cheer.

Sandor saw two boys leaving the tavern, and behind them, a girl, the girl You loved so well and helped escape.

“Girl!” He shouted, stopping Arya Stark, “What in seven hells are you doing with a Stark bitch?” He questioned Thoros.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

You had made it past the Bloody Gate, the Knights knew who you were even though Petyr introduced you as his niece, Lennora. They did not question you, and allowed you in. Ser Donnel Waynwood going as far to welcome you back as Lennora. 

After twenty more miles of travel, you’d finally arrived at the Eyrie. It felt like a small comfort at first. A sight you once truly believed you’d never see again. 

Stepping into the main room you noticed Lyssa seated on the throne. Seated where you should have been.

“Sweet child,” She called to you, rising from your throne “Come…” She said as ascended the stairs coming towards you, until she wrapped her arms around you. “My flesh and blood.” She said feigning happiness at your presence.

“Aunt Lyssa,” You said, feigning the same joy.

“You’re dressed in rags, my sweetling.” She said as she examined you, 

“Couldn’t stand to wear Lannister colors any longer.” You said cleverly, avoiding further questioning, distracting her with her own biases.

“Of course you couldn’t.” She gripped onto your shoulders tightly, “Those monsters tried to marry you off to that imp. The very one who killed my husband, your father.” Her grip on your shoulders tightened, “He did not force himself onto you did he?” Her eyes darted to yours, staring deepening and intensely in them.

“No- of course not. We had not wed yet-” You stammered to explain, caught off guard by such a question.

“Still, you cannot trust such men now can you?” She said, her grip loosening finally.

“No, you cannot.”  You said softly

Her hands ran from your shoulders to your hands, holding them tightly, “You’ve had a hard, and brave journey, my sweetling. You must bathe and dress.” She squeezed your hands once more before releasing them.

“Yes, Aunt Lyssa.” You said, slightly proud of yourself for containing such composure.

You nodded to your aunt and turned to leave, Petyr smirked at you as you passed him to take the back steps to your chambers. 

It made your stomach turn. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

In the hideout of the Brotherhood, Sandor was tried for his crimes. Trial by combat. 

As he fought, with brutality and efficiency, he could only think of you. He needed to cut this man down, to cut him down and get back to you. To find you. 

Soon enough however, he did. Nearly cutting the man in half. Lord Beric Dondarrion was dead, but only for a moment. 

As Arya shouted out and screamed, wanting him to be killed and tried for the murder of her friend.

Sandor couldn’t give this too much attention however as Beric arose from the dead before everyone. Within the cave. 

After such a scene, Sandor was pardoned and set free. 

“You’re pardoned, free to go. But all your gold is ours, to support the cause. It says it right there on that paper, once the wars over you’ll be repaid.” The man said, giving him paper pardoning him of his crimes.

“Piss on that! You’re nothing but thieves.” He barked loudly as he threw the paper onto the ground.

“We’re outlaws, you’re lucky we didn’t kill you, or go after that girl of yours.” Some man said, stupidly.

“Try it, archer, and I’ll shove those arrows right up your arse.” He said, his voice darkening. He couldn’t stand anyone speaking of you, even if they didn’t know who you were specifically. 

“You can’t let him go! He’s a murderer!” Arya screamed as Sandor’s head was bagged again as he was led out of the cave. 

“Not in the eyes of God. Go in peace Clegane, the Lord of Light is not done with you yet.” Beric said, as Sandor was led out. 

But Sandor did not go far. 

The sun had gone and the night had come. It dawned on him you could be anywhere. And he would have no way of knowing where. 

That was when he heard the brotherhood yelling out for Arya, and soon saw the girl running through the forest he was hiding in.

That’s when he realized, If he couldn’t find you on his own, he’d find another way, and he’d get some gold out of it as well.

He grabbed Arya as she ran away. Covering her mouth as she tried to scream. 

“Kick all you want, wolf girl. Won’t do you no good.” He said, dragging her off.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

While you bathed, you sat in the warm water, sinking deeply into the warmth around you. You closed your eyes, you tried your best to breathe, and calm yourself. 

Sandor was a strong man, a man who cut down five men, a man who cut his way through a riot, and then four men after that. You shouldn’t worry. It would be silly for you to worry. But still you did. 

As you looked at your body in the water, you could see the bruises left by Sandor. By his hands and his mouth. The thumb prints on your hips and the love bites on your sides and breasts. You ran your fingers over the prints, applying a bit of pressure to feel the lovely ache. It was like he was still with you.

You ran your other hand down between your legs, your other hand pressed down on the bruise again, to feel that ache, to feel like he was still with you.

However you heard a noise come from behind the door of the bathing chambers door. 

Uneasy, you got out of the bath, and dried yourself quickly and you clothed yourself in a thick, warm, robe. 

You opened the door, with caution, still uneasy. You stepped into the hallway, you hadn’t seen anyone. Even though you saw no one, you still felt uneasy. Like you were being watched.

You felt that familiar cold air flow through the castle, it only made your anxiety worse. ‘Tea would help,’ you thought. So you made your way to the kitchens, the only way to get to that from where you were however, was through the throne room,

As you stepped into the large room, you could feel the breeze worsen, the air colder, and the sound of wind louder. The moon doors were open, you knew what they sounded like better than anyone. 

What was worse, Lyssa was standing over them. Staring down into the nothingness below.

“How pleasant it must feel, to be clean, and back in your Arryn clothes.” She said, not looking at you, still peering into the vast nothingness below the Eyrie.

“Quite pleasant, Aunt Lyssa.” You said, cautiously 

“It was so kind of Baelish to return you to us. I asked him, why, why he wished for you back. It doesn’t make much sense, you’re the only thing that could possibly stand in the way of his position here in the Vale. Of Robin's position in the vale. And yet he feels responsible for you” Her voice felt sharp and unsteady,

“Lyssa-” You tried to begin

“Why does he feel responsible for you?” She interrupted you, her gaze shifting towards you quickly.

“I am your blood, I am part Tully-” You tried your best to calm her, to reason with her.

“Yes, Eloire Tully, The sister who hated him. Toyed with him, cruel and arrogant Eloire. You look just like her, are you toying with him too?” She said, her eyes were unhinged, and she stepped closer and closer to you.

An anger sparked inside you, “Don’t speak of my mother-” Your eyes and voice filled with disdain

“Did you fuck him is that it? Like those whores in his pleasure houses-”

You interrupted her “That is a vile accusation-” 

And she interrupted you, “So you know the vile things they do, the vile things he lets them do to him.” She said as she pulled at your robe, exposing your breast and your side, she could see the large bruise on your side and one on your breast. 

“I knew it.” She said her eyes widening,

You covered yourself quickly “Lyssa,” 

“Who did it? Who did you let ruin you, you whore!? If it wasn’t Tyrion who did it!? Unless you lied to me!” She began to grab you, grab your arms tightly.

You tried your best to pull away, “I fell from my horse, Lyssa-” You exclaimed 

“You think I’m a blind fool? Who did it? Petyr? Petyr did that do you? It makes perfect sense, You're no better than those whores in those pleasure houses, to him.” She exclaimed even louder, grabbing at you harder. 

“He never touched me-” You pleaded,

“Then who did it-”

“I fell off my horse!” 

“Lying whore!” She held onto your tightly and tried to push you towards the open moon doors, however the struggle between you and her was almost evenly matched. So she pulled out a dagger, raising it. But you were able to hold her arm off, “Why couldn’t you have stayed with them? Stayed far and gone! I won’t let you have him! You know what happens when people get in the way of Petyr and me?” She screamed at you as she continuously tried to push you towards the open moon doors, now at knife point. “My husband- your father, I killed him, all for me and Petyr!” She screamed, her admission however sparked a new kind of rage in you as you struggled back harder. No longer wishing to escape her grasp but to throw her into the moon doors instead.

“Lyssa.” Petyr said from the doorway, “Let her go,” He said calmly. Making the both of you halt,

“You want her? This ungrateful brat? I have lied for you and killed for you! Why did you bring her here? Why?” She sobbed

“I’ll send her away, I swear it.” Petyr said, 

Lyssa threw you onto the ground, cutting your forearm with the dagger she had in her hand. She dropped it to the ground as she sobbed.  

“My sweet wife. Silly wife.” He said as walked towards her holding her in his arms. You began to pick yourself up, your arm still bleeding.

“My whole life, I have only loved one woman.” He said, as she smiled. “Your sister.” He said as he pushed her into the moon doors.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

The next morning, Sandor and Arya had begun their journey north. Sandor had hoped that you had done as he said and made your way there was well. 

As he ate, he offered a bit of the food to Arya, who simply pouted and looked away from the food. It reminded him a bit of you. 

“Sulk all you want. Truth is you’re lucky, you don’t want to be alone out here, girl. Someone worse than me would find you.” He said, his voice gentler than it was the last day.

“There’s no one worse than you.” She spit at him.

“You never knew my brother. Once killed a man for snoring. Plenty worse than me, there's men that like to beat little girls, men who like to rape them. Save your cousin from some of them.`` He said lightly, 

“You’re lying.” Arya said in disbelief. 

“Ask her. You’ll be seeing her soon enough, you just ask her who came back for her during the riots.” He restated confidently.

“Is that the Blackwater?” Arya asked looking at a large river they approached, 

“Blackwater? Where do you think I’m taking you girl?” He asked

“Back to King's Landing, Joffrey and the Queen? My cousin?”

“Fuck Joffrey, fuck the Queen. That’s the red fork, I’m taking you to the Twins.” He sounded somewhat offended.

“But why?”

“Because your mother and brother will be there, they’ll pay for you, and maybe even your cousin will be there.”

“Why would they be at the Twins?”

“Those outlaws you love so much never told you? The whole countrysides yapping about it. Your uncle is marrying one of the Frey girls. Your cousin’s probably heard about it too, she’ll be heading there.” 

“Why do you care if she’ll be there?” She asked, almost annoyed by his constant mentioning of you.

Sandor ignored her question, “Quit your yapping, and we might make it for the wedding.” 

NOTE: Hey all you cool cats and kittens,  I wish I had one of those iconic A03 author excuse notes like I got hit by a bus or was getting my PHD and that's why this chapter is late, but I don’t I was just a little sick and binged TV. But we are here now, this chapter felt a little clunky and it was definitely a challenge getting Sandor and Y/N to still feel connected to the same story. I am very excited for what I have planned in the coming chapters.  K love you, xoxo Bambi ꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱ Beloved Tags:  @dontfollowjuststuff  @helpmeescapethisreality

@merfic

@Broadsdrinkwhisky

@the-queen-of-sorrows

@eddiesbongwater

@not-neverland06 

@symonedoesart

@wyvernnest

[aurumacadicus]

@ifdragonscouldtalk fuckin deleted the post thinking I had saved the screenshots smh. Anyway 69 😎

--

"Spock, I need a favor," Leonard said.

Spock blinked slowly, the words taking a moment to really register. Of all the people he ever expected to ask for a favor, Leonard would have been on the bottom of the list. In fact, he'd be on a whole separate list, titled 'will die rather than ask for help.' But then, Jim might be the one who needed help, and they needed a cooler head to prevail.

Or someone with a stronger punch. But he hoped it was the former.

Spock finally turned from where he'd been examining a particularly interesting carved statue and blinked again, very hard, when he saw the flower crown on Leonard's head. It was made of what looked like Terran hedera, small pink hyacinthus, and blue myosotis. It was different from all the other flower crowns he'd seen so far, woven only with plumeria.

"So unfair that you don't have to participate in this stupid festival," Leonard grumbled, scowling up at him.

"If the Captain had listened to me, none of you would have to participate in the Florum's customs," Spock explained, for what felt like the umpteenth time. He turned his gaze on the festivities, watching as one of the green-skinned Florum plucked a flower growing from their breast and placed it in the crown of another. "As it stands, Vulcans are offensive to the Florum peoples, especially in their nuptiae rites. Flowers, as you know, are not abundant in the hot, dusty climate of Vulcan, and--"

"Listen," Leonard cut in impatiently. "Just--pretend to be my date, okay?"

Spock stared at him for a moment. Then, quite inelegantly, he said, "I'm quite certain I misheard you, Doctor."

"You didn't, the Florum are trying to get in my pants, and I have never been more uncomfortable in my life," Leonard hissed, glancing over his shoulder at the milling of peoples on the marble courting floor. "I haven't been with anyone since--Look, I just. I don't like this. I'm not Jim. I'm not--"

He really did look deeply uncomfortable, Spock realized as he watched Leonard shift nervously on his feet, trying to keep his back to any of the Florum's wandering eyes. He'd only come off the ship in an effort to learn more about the Florum's medical procedures. Apparently, the clean, clinical smell of the medical crew was like catnip to a cat. It made sense to Spock, what with Terran medicine starting in the use of plants to treat ailments.

But that didn't matter if Leonard was uncomfortable, he reminded himself. And while the Florum were known to engage in non-monogamous behavior, they were aware that more territorial species existed.

"...I know we can't hold hands," Leonard added haltingly. "I don't... know how else to show..."

Spock nodded. Of course he wouldn't know how else to show casual affection without it being too much. He and Jim were always all over each other. Vulcans were more reserved, though, and Spock even more so. Still, he thought, narrowing his eyes at an approaching Florum. He was Chief Science Officer. It would be unconscionable to leave Leonard to suffer while he was uncomfortable.

"Leonard," Spock said firmly, laying his arm over Leonard's shoulders and pivoting on one foot to turn him and lead him further away from the nuptiae floor. "I saw a particular sculpture of the Florum's deity of medicine that I think you'll find interesting. Come along."

"Oh," Leonard squeaked, and Spock couldn't tell if he sounded confused or embarrassed. That was fine, though. The Florum did not feel either of those emotions and wouldn't understand it even if they sensed it. "Okay."

Another Florum approached them. Spock paused only long enough to snarl at it wordlessly, and Leonard let out a noise he'd never heard before, so he whisked him away from the marble floor entirely. If asked, Spock would explain that since Florum didn't understand spoken language, he was just warning it off in a way that was expedient. He had to admit though, at least to himself, that he was annoyed that the Florum would clearly ignore Leonard's flower crown that basically flashed a blaring 'taken; not interested' sign at them.

[narryffdreaming]

A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — FOUR (I)

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART FOUR: 21,8k words (I) - 11,2k words (II) - 9,8k words

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE

"Oh my God! Guys!" Lucy yells from the top of the yacht. "They're here!" 

"What?!"

"Oh my God!"

"Finally!" 

Their friends cheer and whistle at their arrival, and Aurora can't get rid of the smile on her face as half of the group screams her name at the same time the other half screams Harry's. There's music playing, each one of them holds some kind of drink, and the whole thing seems like a very intimate, messy, and fun summer party. 

"Just jump in and wait for me, okay?!" Lucy adds, already stepping out of sight. "I'm coming!"

"Okay…" Aurora murmurs and chuckles, although it's mostly out of nervousness, since Lucy obviously can't hear her. 

And, to be honest, she is too hypnotized to react in any other way. She has barely recovered from Harry's interaction, and now this gigantic, massive yacht in front of her isn't actually making things any less overwhelming. 

"Auri?" Harry calls.

She blinks and looks at him, then at his waiting hand. He's already inside the yacht, carrying their bags while he stretches out his arm to offer his help. 

Reality barely sinks in, but she shakes her head and walks forward, anyway. 

"Right, sorry."

She holds his palm and takes a leap, squeezing him as her feet touch the lowest deck of the yacht and her legs tremble onto the new ground.

And just like that, she goes back to staring at what will practically be her house — their house — for the next two days.

She counts three floors, and whilst she still can't see the ones from above, the one they just jumped into is enough to speak for the entire yacht. There is a pool with an infinity edge right by her feet, and on each side of it two steps that lead into a huge outdoor lounge area. Between a couple of sun loungers there's a massive white couch, and behind said couch more steps, leading to the insides of the yacht. 

"Fuck me," she murmurs, then bites her lip and shakes her head. She admires some more and, after a moment, she adds, "I need someone to pinch me right now." 

Next to her, Harry snorts, and Aurora turns her head to face him. 

He's already watching her, attentively and keenly. His stare never hesitating, never faltering. 

"It's not a dream," he murmurs back. "Trust me, I've been pinching myself for hours now." 

There's definitely something about the way he looks at her. Something that causes a little bit of everything to run through her body. 

It is good. Kind of exciting. But also overwhelming, and certainly unexpected. It makes her stomach flutter, but it also squeezes her chest. Almost as if suffocating her. 

So Aurora looks down, and tries to make sense of her thoughts. 

Although only then she notices she's still holding his hand, just like Harry's still holding hers. And then the feeling inside her only grows. The rush, the tingling, the trembling. The burning, the pounding, and the quivering. And she doesn't know what to do about it. She doesn't know how to make it stop. And she most certainly doesn't know what it means. 

Is she even supposed to do something about it? Is it even supposed to mean anything? Does she really need to make it stop? 

"Roryyy!" 

Aurora jolts, and she drops Harry's hand. 

"Hii!" 

Lucy's high-pitched voice echoes from her ear to her brain just as a body crashes against hers, two arms circling her neck. Aurora stumbles and laughs, and Harry's hand quickly lands on her lower back, keeping her in place. She glances at him over her friend's shoulder, finding him by their side with a genuine smile and affectionate gaze. 

"Hi, Lu…" She smiles, straight into his eyes.

"You're here!" Lucy says, pulling back and putting her hands on Aurora's shoulders. Forcing Aurora to look at her and finally getting full attention. Lucy's grin is contagious and sincere, and happiness seems to exhale through every cell of her skin. "I was panicking when Niall said your flight got delayed, but now you're here. You're actually here."

Aurora chuckles, grateful for such a heartfelt reaction, but also aware of the turmoil that's still happening inside her. "I am, yes. Well… We are."

She glances at Harry, and Lucy widens her eyes. 

"Oh my God, yes! Harry!" She turns to him, and a soft giggle falls through her lips. "Hiii! I'm sorry, I just got too excited seeing Rory." 

Harry laughs and embraces Lucy into a hug, holding the bags in place with one hand while circling her shoulders with the other. "It's okay. I know the feeling." 

The short interaction plus the hot weather are enough to burst Aurora's body into flames. She feels the sweat in the back of her neck, but mostly the warmth spreading through her cheeks, so she tilts her chin up and searches for their friends, desperate to find a distraction. 

Thankfully, Niall and Theo are leaning over the glass railing. Despite being up high and distant, their smiles are easy to see. Just like the sunglasses on their faces and the bottles in their hands. 

"Moonshine!" Niall shouts, waving towards himself. "Get your arse up here, c'mon!"

Aurora smiles. She raises her arm to wave at them, then uses her hand to block the sun from her eyes. "Hey guys! You look fancy up there." 

"I know!" Niall laughs. "And we'd look even fancier if we left the port, so c'mon!" 

Before she can come up with something to say, Lucy comes to a stop next to her, sighing before murmuring, "Oh my God he's insufferable." 

They both chuckle, and then Lucy places one hand by her mouth and shouts, "My engagement, my rules, Horan! So no leaving the port 'till I say so!" 

Niall gives her a thumbs up, then leans to say something to Theo — which none of them can hear, of course. Aurora shakes her head and lowers her eyes, glancing at Harry one more time. 

Unlike Lucy and Aurora, he isn't watching the boys, too focused on the view around them instead. With his head tilted up, he unintentionally gives her access to see his perfect jawline, the facial hair under his chin, and the way his muscles tense when he gulps down. A stunning sight, if one would ask her.

"Okay, so…" Lucy sighs and steps forward, and both Harry and Aurora look at her. She turns to them, she grinning from ear to ear and placing her hands on her hips. "Are you guys hungry? Did you get to eat something?"

"Oh my God, no," Aurora breathes out. "Please. I'm starving." 

"Good, 'cause so are we." Lucy giggles. "Is it okay if we grab something to eat before I show you around, then?"

"Of course." Harry nods.

"Yay!" She claps and twirls on her feet, leading the way as her hair moves along with the wind and her one shoulder floral dress. "To be honest, I really wanted to wait for you guys and do a tour for everyone at the same time, but, y'know, I couldn't hold myself… So we already did that… But we have plenty of time so it's okay… Also, apparently there are fancy names for every place, but I can't be bothered with any of that, so I'm in charge of the informal tour. If you want, Theo can take over and tell you a kitchen it's actually called a galley, or gallery, or whatever…"

Aurora blinks, processing her friends' rambling, and Harry chuckles. 

"You look really happy, Lu," he points out, beaming at their friend as they go up the steps. "More than usual, I mean."

"You think?" Lucy asks, looking over her shoulder and flickering her eyes between them two. 

Aurora smiles, and nods.

Harry's right. She's noticed that about Lucy, too. She can see the way her friend smiles, the way her eyes shine and her entire body trembles with joy. 

It isn't something rare to see, because Lucy has always naturally been a very bubbly, cheerful and energetic person. Always the mother of the group, and at the same time the little sister they all want to protect. Her movements always carried a sense of tenderness, of home and family, and at the same time her personality always exhaled sunshine, expensive champagne, and tight-dresses with high-heels. 

So, yes, Lucy's always been exactly like that. 

And yet, there's something different about her this time. 

If Aurora had to guess, she'd probably say it has something to do with the fact that she's about to spend the entire weekend with her friends, celebrating her own engagement to the love of her life.

"Thank you," Lucy says. "I think this is the happiest I've ever been, yeah."

Aurora follows them around the couch and up the steps, trying to remember if her own engagement ever made her feel this happy. Or if getting married to Zack ever made her shine like Lucy's shining right now. 

Did loving Zack ever made her feel the happiest she's ever been? 

And did Zack's love for her ever made her feel the happiest she could ever be?

She shakes her head, slightly fearing the answers to those questions. 

Besides, it doesn't matter, anyway. Not anymore. 

Lucy takes them through what she says it's the main living room, where Harry drops their bags on another fancy, white couch, and then through a dining room. All the furniture they walk past looks expensive and extravagant, yet minimalistic and simple at the same time. Once they get through a hallway, Lucy points to a staircase to her side and explains that all bedrooms are downstairs, except for hers and Theo's — of course, since they're taking the biggest suite. Then she points to the bathroom right across from the stairs, and finally takes them through a glass door that leads to the side of the boat. 

That's when Harry steps aside, raising one arm and encouraging Aurora to go first. She smiles and thanks him, following Lucy through the first flight of stairs, and through the second one. Watching and listening as her friend looks over her shoulder every two steps just to chat and giggle about the multiple areas of the yacht and how they could all hide from each other in different rooms if they wanted to. Or how they don't need to worry about anything the entire weekend because there's a crew ready to make them food and drinks, and also to help them with whatever they need.

Once they reach the highest part of the yacht, Lucy steps aside and demands everyone's attention, then everyone just focuses on them. 

Aurora's still overwhelmed by all the information, but Theo is already there, by the last step, ready to greet her and looking just as excited as Lucy. He pulls her into a hug and thanks her presence, then asks about the flight, and about Noah. She smiles and answers all of his questions, albeit shortly, and then he hugs her again and steps aside, quickly moving on. He turns to Harry, then, excessively shouting about how long it's been since they last saw each other and what the fuck happened to your head.

She laughs, because she figures it's the same kind of excitement she feels with the girls, and then she walks forward, finding Maddie and Ava next to a jacuzzi. 

"Oh my God?" she whispers, widening her eyes at Maddie and pointing to the bubbling water.

"I know!" Maddie mouths, chuckling and opening her arms to welcome her. "Welcome to heaven!" 

Aurora laughs, and hugs her. "I don't think I'll get used to this place."

"Me neither. I'm so happy you're here tho!"

Maddie squeezes her, and then they spend at least five minutes like that, just hugging and squealing about being together again. Which, considering she was at Aurora's place just days ago, quickly turns into jokes about how dramatic they are and oh my God get away from me now.

Next, her embrace with Ava also lasts another five minutes. However, they truly haven't been in the same room for a long time now, so it's also filled with remarks about how good it is to meet again and how excited they are for that weekend. Also, how they should do more things together and see each other more often.  

Jayden steps in next, and as he pulls her into a hug, he also jokes about how they need to think about some new reason to meet, because so far they've been only meeting at wedding ceremonies — first at her and Zack's wedding, then his and Ava's, and now Lucy and Theo's. 

That's when he puts Niall and Megan on the spot, throwing at them the responsibility to organize the next meeting — or, in Jayden's own words, the next wedding. 

Niall laughs and flips him off, pointing out that as far as he knows that's only Lucy and Theo's engagement party, so they still have the actual wedding to look forward to. 

They bicker for a while, and Aurora takes the opportunity to greet Daniel — Jayden's cousin and Niall's old roommate. He's standing by a large table (that is apparently being set up with food) along with Niall and Megan, and he smiles as soon as she gets closer. 

"Hey there," he says, placing one arm over her shoulders and giving her a polite, short squeeze into his side. 

She's a little bit more awkward with him, and even a little shy. Not really knowing what to say after hello and how are you and nice to see you. They aren't really close, and they probably wouldn't even see each other again if it weren't for the others, but she appreciates him deeply for being the string that tied all of them together in the first place. After all, if it weren't for Daniel, Aurora wouldn't have met Niall. And if she had never met Niall, she also wouldn't have met Harry. 

So, in the end, it would've really sucked.

"Ok c'mon," Niall says, tapping his hand on the side of his own leg. "'S my turn. C'mon. C'mon." 

She steps away from Daniel's polite half-hug and rolls her eyes, but her mouth is already curving into this excited and big grin. 

"Would you calm down for a minute?" she jokes.

"'Course not! Look who's here, huh?" Niall cheers, throwing one arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his side. "Ma moonshine!"

She chuckles, turning towards him and circling her arms around his waist. It's been a while since she's been longing for a proper Niall-bear-hug, so she makes sure to enjoy it the most she possibly can. 

"Hi Ni," she whispers, resting her chin on his shoulder and letting a long exhale out of her nose. It's like her entire body loosens up, and she doesn't make any effort to hide it. "I've missed you." 

His childish playfulness fades away, and he passes his cold beer to someone behind her before crossing both of his arms around her shoulders and locking her in.

Finally hugging her properly. 

Finally hugging her tightly. 

"I missed ya too, moonshine," he replies just as softly, rubbing one hand up and down her shoulder blades. "It's been a while, huh?"

She closes her eyes, and nods. "Mhmm." 

It's not like they haven't seen each other at all, but they definitely haven't seen each other as much as they could. Or as much as she would've liked to. And she knows she is the only one to blame for that. She knows that Niall tried his best along the years, but she also knows that, unfortunately, Zack didn't seem to understand why she needed to maintain friendships with the opposite sex, so unless Maddie and Lucy were involved, she ended up not meeting with him that much anymore. 

Things changed after the break up, though. Niall was one of the only five people — outside from her family — she reached out to. They started meeting up for coffees, and sometimes he and Megan would tag along with her and Noah to the park. So it got better, for sure. Still, it hurts to know she had put so much distance between them, just like it hurts she still struggles so much to let him back into her life.

"Sorry for not answering your calls the past few weeks," she says.

"'S okay… At least you texted, yeah? Would've knocked on your door if not."

She chuckles and pulls away, blinking to look at him. 

The knot she improvised earlier on the back of her head doesn't exist anymore, and the light breeze seems to take advantage of that. 

"Noah's been asking about you," she says, putting her hair behind her ear.

"Really?!"

The way he beams at the mention of her son's name warms Aurora's heart, and she nods, smiling even wider at him. "Yeah… He says uncle Ni promised to teach him how to play guitar, so… When is he going to come over?"

"Ha!" Niall laughs, dropping his head back for a moment before looking into Aurora's eyes again. His cheeks are pink, and his eyes are glowing. "I did say that, yeah! Said I was gonna buy one for him. We'll arrange one afternoon for me to take him, yeah?" 

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Course! Are you kidding? Me and Harry will take him, make it a lads afternoon."

"Oh." Aurora nods, and swallows. "Right."

She looks around, then. Only half aware that the mere mention of his name has her already searching for him. 

Harry is by the jacuzzi, chatting with Theo, Ava, and Jayden, moving his hands while sharing some story with them. He looks excited, and happy. He also looks like someone who's been sitting on a plane and inside of a car for too long. Someone who hasn't tamed his hair in a while. Someone who hasn't shaved in three or four days. And someone who clearly doesn't depend on any of that to still look freaking good. 

Daniel approaches them and interrupts him, and whatever he says it's enough to completely crack Harry up, because he bends his knees and drops his head back, laughing loudly while raking his fingers through his curls. And the sound coming out of him is so enthusiastic and charged that it almost makes Aurora laugh, too. 

Almost, though. 

Because, looking at him, she actually doesn't feel like laughing. 

She actually doesn't feel like laughing at all.

Can it be possible for her to already miss those moments between them two? Just by themselves? Or is she so needy and lonely that she has irresponsibly already gotten too attached to him? 

Harry stretches his body and shakes his head, the smile still huge on his face, then turns his head to where she is.

His eyes meet hers, and Aurora looks away.

Shit.

She blinks and focuses on Niall — again. 

"So…" Niall says, putting his hands inside the pockets of his shorts. There is a new look on his face. A look she can't understand, but also a look she doesn't have time to question, because he quickly speaks again. "Talked to him this morning." 

"Yeah." Aurora nods. "I know." 

She doesn't have to ask who he's talking about, because she already knows. For some very weird and strange reason, she knows. Not because Harry mentioned something about it earlier, but because she just… Knows. 

Harry's never been that person she doesn't have to name in a conversation. He's never been the implied subject, he's never even been someone she had something to discuss about. And yet there she is right now, after one failed marriage and a four-year-old waiting for her at home, trying to figure out how the hell Harry suddenly became all she can think about. 

"'S it ok that I told him about… Y'know."

"Yes. Don't worry about it."

"'Kay. Did you two have a good flight, then?"

"Mhm. I slept most of the time so… Yes." She nods and peeks over Niall's shoulder, then waves at the girl quietly standing behind him. Almost hiding. "Heyy Megan!"

"Oh, hi." She smiles and gets closer, then embraces her into a quick hug. When they're facing each other again, she asks, "How are you?"

"I'm good, tha—"

"Did Aurora tell you she goes by Mrs. Styles now?"

Aurora widens her eyes, and then turns around.

"Harry!"

He's standing next to Niall now, smirking while holding a bottle of beer. And then their eyes meet and he shrugs. As nonchalant and unworried as he could be. 

"What? They're our friends, they deserve to know."

"Know what?" Ava asks, approaching the table along with Jayden and Maddie.

"Nothing," Aurora says. 

Harry gasps, and places his hand on his chest. "Ouch. So our marriage means nothing to you?" 

Aurora rolls her eyes. 

So freaking dramatic.

"Wait, what?" Ava looks at her, then at Harry, then at her again. 

Maddie chuckles. "I'm confused."

"I'd say that was fast, but… Y'know," Jayden mumbles. 

And then Niall snorts, grabbing Megan by her waist and pulling her closer to him. "Took him fifty years, that's all."

Aurora is only half-listening to what they're saying, because, honestly? She just couldn't care less. She glares at Harry with a frown on her face, instead. Pursing her lips and biting her cheek to make sure her mouth won't turn into a grin. 

"Oops," he mouths, then tilts his head to take a sip of beer. Eyes never slipping away from hers.

She shakes her head and crosses her arms. Feeling a buzz of joy spread from her chest to all over her body. 

Harry's silly. He really is. Acting like a teenage-boy and making jokes that aren't even funny just to get a reaction out of her. Part of her doesn't understand him and doesn't see the point, but some other part — one that's deep inside and kind of forgotten — feels completely the opposite. Like she doesn't want him to stop being like that. Like she doesn't want him to stop making her happy, making her laugh. Going out of his way just to interact with her. Just to put a smile on her face. 

Even if it's just for a day. Even if it's just for this weekend. Even if it's just to make her feel the happiest she can be for the next two days. Before everything goes back to normal again. 

"I'm gonna kill you," she mouths back. 

Harry smirks, has another sip of beer, and winks. "I know you will."

And Aurora has no idea what he means by that, but she's pretty convinced it's the hottest thing she's seen so far.

It's official now: the crew is back together. 

Or that's what Daniel says, then minutes later Aurora catches herself thinking again as she looks around the table and smiles at her friends. 

Lucy, Theo, Maddie, Niall, Megan, Ava, Jayden, Daniel, and Harry. 

They're all there. 

Even she is there. 

And she's just so… Happy. 

To see everyone after so long feels amazing. It's like they have a lot to catch up on, but also like they can just pick up things exactly where they left them. No need for questions. No need for explanations. No need for apologies. Right now and right there, they all seem to have silently agreed there would be only room for excitement and celebration.

They are all eating and chatting, throwing questions around and making sure they know what's going on in everyone's lives. And they're all so mindful and careful of Aurora's feelings, leaving her out of certain topics and allowing her to stay in silence as much as she wants to. 

It's just… Perfect. It really is. She's happy, and she's carefree, and she's just so… Relaxed. 

And then Lucy, who's sitting right in front of her, gasps and calls Harry's name, as if she just remembered this huge thing she wanted to ask him about. 

Harry hums, acknowledging he's the new topic of the interrogation while chewing his food. 

"How's your dad doing?" she asks.

"Oh." He nods and gulps down, then takes a sip of water before answering her. "He's good, yeah. Not used to having the entire house to himself, but, y'know…" He shrugs. "He's alright." 

And that's when Aurora frowns, and when she finally feels the need to chime in.

"Wait, what?" She shuffles on her seat and leans in, trying to get a glimpse of Harry over Maddie, Megan and Niall's seats. "Why did your mum move out? Did your parents get divorce?" 

Now, if there's one thing that's already been established, it's that Aurora doesn't need any reminders of what a shitty friend she's been. By now, everyone already knows that it's something that constantly haunts her mind and that she's working as much as she can to fix.

Still, she doesn't think there was ever a moment when the truth hit her as loudly and painfully as right then and there. 

Because they all go silent. Awkwardly, uncomfortably, and painfully silent. It's like her questions reverberate through everyone around the table only to bounce back to her. 

Aurora falls back into her chair, hunching down as she feels her body shrink. 

"What?" she whispers, darting her eyes over the faces of those she can see. They avoid her just as much as she tries to reach them, though, and her heart speeds up. "What did I say, guys? What did I do?"

"Auri," Harry calls. 

"Babe," and Maddie whispers at the same time, placing her hand over her knee and leaning closer to her ear. "Harry's mum passed away." 

Aurora widens her eyes. "W-what? I—When? I didn't—" 

"I know." Maddie nods. "It was a few months ago."

Niall speaks next — Aurora knows because she recognizes his voice, but she doesn't catch what he says. And when everyone starts talking again, Aurora just tunes them out. 

"Oh my God," she breathes out. "Maddie… I just… I had no idea."

"I know. We all know. It's okay."

It isn't, though. 

"When was this? What… I mean… Did you all know about it?"

"I think so, yeah."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… It was around the time you were getting your divorce, y'know? And we just… I think we figured you had a lot going on already." 

"Well, yeah… But his mum passed away, Maddie. His mum." 

Aurora rubs her forehead.

God, it just… It just breaks her heart, to be honest. She knows how close they were, how highly he always spoke of her, so she knows it must've been a really tough time for him. Especially if he was living on the other side of the world and away from everyone. Away from his family, and away from his friends. 

Did he even have anyone in the US to help him get through that?

Was his ex there for him when it happened?

Aurora hopes she wasn't.

No! Wait—What?

Shit. 

No, that's not true. 

Of course not.

Hopefully he was still dating when it happened.

Hopefully he had someone by his side.

Hopefully his break up didn't happen around that same time. 

Is that the reason why he doesn't want to talk about relationships?

Is that the reason why he said he isn't in the mood for relationships? 

Holy shit. 

Why is she even thinking about this right now?!

"A little heads up would've been nice, that's all," Aurora says, shrugging while staring at the horizon. 

It's a little after four when the girls finally get a moment just for themselves. They're still on what Theo said it's called the sun deck — although Aurora still considers it to be just the top floor of the boat — sitting around the table whilst the boys have moved their conversation somewhere downstairs. 

"God, I know!" Maddie says, now sitting across from her. "I'm sorry. I literally only remembered once it was already happening."

"I'm sorry, too," Lucy says. "I kinda went into panic mode because I'm the one who brought it up."

"It's not a big deal, tho'." Ava shrugs, and smiles softly at her. As if she's trying to reassure her and apologize at the same time. "I mean, it's not like you just decided to ignore the information or forgot about it. You genuinely didn't know."

"Yeah." Maddie nods. "And he knows that."

"Besides," Ava adds, "it's Harry, so… You two will be fine, Rory." 

Aurora nods, and grabs her necklace between her fingers. She knows they'll be fine. And she knows Harry isn't mad at her. She also knows it wasn't the girls' fault, so she isn't mad at them. She isn't even mad, to begin with. She's just… Disappointed. And sad. 

She's disappointed in herself. And she's really sad that she wasn't there for Harry. But she's mostly sad that he spent all that time at the airport listening to her while she cried over her marriage, but didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her about his own mother passing away. Not even when he brought her up in the car. 

"Rory?" Maddie calls.

Aurora blinks, and turns her head. 

The girls are all watching her. Studying her with that same worried, careful, and wary look they've been sharing around her since she made a fool of herself. 

"It's fine," she says, pulling her mouth into a smile and fidgeting with the pendant of her necklace. "Can we just, y'know, change the subject now?"

Lucy and Maddie share a look, and then they share a look with Ava. Meanwhile Megan bites her nail and shifts her eyes between everyone.

Aurora sighs, and rolls her eyes. They're all just trying to protect her. She knows that. But they're trying so hard right now that she's starting to wonder if, perhaps, it's having the opposite effect, instead. 

"Guys, c'mon," Aurora says. "Look, it was awkward, okay? And embarrassing. So of course I'm feeling weird right now. But can we please move on? Like, I just… I just need things to be normal."

"We're just worried about you," Lucy murmurs next to her. 

"I know." Aurora nods. "And I know I gave you reasons to be worried, so I really appreciate that. But I… I don't know. This is the first time I'm hanging out with everyone in years, y'know? So I'm pretty sure there'll be more awkward moments 'till Sunday and I just… I don't know. I need things to be normal."

Aurora shrugs, unable to finish the reasoning inside her mind. She wants her friends to make things less awkward, that's all. Maybe it's selfish of her to ask that of them, but… It is what she wants. 

Ava clears her throat, and shifts on her chair. "Yeah. I get it. Let's not make a big deal out of it. I'm sure you'll feel better once you talk to him."

Aurora sighs and nods, brushing her thumb over the pendant of her necklace. "Exactly." 

Something she doesn't want to do in front of everyone, but she will do. She's just waiting for the right moment to approach him. That's all. 

"Great," Ava says, facing forwards and staring at Lucy, who's right across from her. "So, I have a question, what the bloody hell are we supposed to do with this much space, huh?" 

"Oh my God, I know!" Lucy squeals and giggles, and Aurora feels herself smiling again, too. 

Changing the subject is good, and exactly what she needs. Although it doesn't erase the fact that she still needs to talk to him, of course. Because she still needs to apologize. She wants to apologize. 

At first, she thought she'd get to do it right after lunch, but then Theo announced they were about to leave the port and Aurora didn't miss a beat before running downstairs to grab her phone. 

Eight hours had gone by and she still hadn't heard a word from Zack. A tiny part of her inevitably wondered if everything was okay, but to be honest the majority of her just hated him. She ended up, then, writing another message, this time with clenched teeth and rushed fingers. Letting him know she'd be probably out of reach from then on, but that she'd still try to call and say goodnight to Noah. Adding, at the end, if i call, please pick up. 

After that, when she met everyone again, they all got together to take pictures of the moment they left the city behind. And then Lucy opened a bottle of champagne, and they all shared a toast to their soon to be married friends. 

Amidst the happy emotions, one thing led to another, and before she got the chance to reach out to Harry and ask for a private minute of his time, he was already out of her sight and gone with the rest of the boys — which she didn't think it would be fair to interrupt. 

"This is actually Theo's grandparents gift, so we're still getting used to it," Lucy says, and for some reason it just brings Aurora back to the conversation.

"What?!" She lets go of her necklace, widening her eyes and sitting upright while turning to her side. "They gave you this yacht?!"

They all look at her, and Lucy laughs. 

"Wha—No! Not the entire thing, silly! Just a week on this yacht."

"Ohhh!" Aurora exhales through her mouth, then relaxes on the chair. She chuckles lightly, waving her own question off. "Okay, yeah, that makes sense now."

"To be fair," Megan says, so timidly and softly Aurora almost doesn't hear her, "from the little I've seen, coming from those two it wouldn't actually surprise me at all."

Lucy snorts. "Right?"

They all look at Megan and nod, a clear attempt of making her feel welcome in the conversation. 

It is nice to see her spontaneously joining in. She's been dating Niall for a little less than a year now, and even though she's previously met or at least talked to everyone so far, this is the first time she's actually hanging out with all of them at once. So she's still getting comfortable around them. And Aurora relates to that, even if for different reasons. 

"You still don't get along with them?" Ava asks.

"God, no." Lucy shakes her head, then takes a sip of her margarita. "So obnoxious. Hate them."

There's a beat of silence, until Maddie stretches her arms over her head and sighs loudly. 

"Well," she says, "for what it's worth, I'm really glad they spent all this money on you guys."

"Yeah!"

"Mhmm."

"Me too!"

"Ugh, yes!" Lucy says. "I'm so happy we are all here." 

"It doesn't feel real, to be honest," Aurora says, drifting her eyes around them. 

They didn't actually leave Amalfi, but they sailed enough to anchor where they'd be fully surrounded by crystal-clear waters and have a breathtaking view of the deep blue sea meeting the bright blue sky. 

There's no music playing anymore, the boys are laughing somewhere, and the sun shines brightly and warmly above them. Sometimes, a soft breeze surprises them, but Aurora always catches herself smiling at it. And sometimes even giggling at the shivering that runs through her arms. Because it's refreshing, and reassuring. And she can't remember a single moment in her life when she's felt like that. 

Like there's nothing but peacefulness surrounding them. 

Peacefulness. 

Quietness. 

Delight.

Bliss.

Joy.

.

Happiness. 

.

Aurora throws her head back and closes her eyes, giving more room for the sun to warm up her skin. Her face, her chest, her neck. 

So,

So relaxing.

.

.

"Girls," Ava murmurs, almost whispering.

"Hm?" someone says.

Aurora blinks, looking at her friend while trying to adjust her blurry sight. Maddie, Megan and Lucy are all looking at her, too.

So Ava leans into the table, and shares with them what feels like the biggest revelation. A secret that's only for them to hear, and only for them to know. "You know I'm banging my husband here tonight, right?" 

There's only a second of dead silence, and then they all burst into laughter. 

Aurora laughs, too, but she also rolls her eyes and looks away — not surprised at all with the revelation, but also not really sharing the sentiment. Or excited about it. 

It's been too long since she's had sex for the last time, and no matter how much she misses it, it's not something that's crossing her mind right now. Not when she knows it's so out of her reach. Not when she knows it won't happen anytime soon anyway.

"C'mon," Ava says, still whispering. "I can't be the only one thinking about it… Megan?"

"I mean…" Megan murmurs, and Aurora peeks to look at her. She's sitting next to Ava, looking down at the table almost as if she doesn't want to think about it. But then she shrugs, trying her best to keep a smile out of her face, and reveals quite the opposite. "Our suite is pretty tempting, so… There might've been some talking about it already."

"Yes!" Ava cheers. "I knew it!"

"Ohh I love this." Lucy giggles, drumming her hands on the table. "And you totally should go for it. We've been doing it for days now and it's just… Ugh."  

She rolls her eyes and drops her head back, causing Aurora to shake her head and laugh again. 

That's why she's so happy, then.  

"Speaking of which…" Ava turns to her side and points at Maddie. "Are you still going out with that girl from the gym?"

Maddie shakes her head, then grabs a grape from the table and throws it into her mouth. 

Aurora already knows the story, so although she keeps paying attention to the conversation, she closes her eyes and drops her head back. Once again comfortably enjoying the sun. 

"She ghosted me like… Two weeks ago," Maddie says.

"What?" Lucy gasps. "No! C'mon, I was rooting for her!" 

"It's fine." Maddie waves her off, then grabs another grape. "I'm too old for this, anyway. If she ghosted me then she's not good enough for me."

Ava whistles, and even with her eyes closed, Aurora smiles and nods. Maddie tends to suffer more than she lets people know, but her confidence and willingness to try again, and again, is something Aurora really admires from her.

"Damn," Lucy says, standing from her chair. "If you'll excuse me, I'll toast to that. Who wants another margarita?"

"I do," Megan says. "Please."

"Ava? Maddie?"

"Nope."

"I'll have a martini," Maddie says, batting her eyelashes. "Please."

"'Kay. Rory?"

"I'm good, thanks," Aurora blindly says, aware she didn't even finish the first one yet.

"Be back in a minute, then." 

"What about you, huh?" Ava asks. "Have you met anyone?"

There's silence around them. Only the sounds coming from the water and the boys talking and laughing somehow reach Aurora's ears. She tries to make out Harry's voice, but it's too muffled for her to point it out. 

"Rory?"

Aurora opens her eyes, and blinks. 

Ava, Maddie and Megan are all looking at her. Lucy isn't there anymore. 

"Wait, you're asking me that question?"

"Well, yes."

She lifts her eyebrows, and shifts on her seat. 

"Me. You are asking me if I've met anyone?"

"Yes," Ava chuckles. "I'm asking you, Aurora Fletcher."

"Actually," Maddie says, placing a hand on Ava's shoulder. "I heard it's Mrs. Sty—"

"Don't." Aurora jolts, pointing a finger at her. "Don't even say it."

Maddie chuckles, then raises her palms and leans back against her chair. "Ooookay then."

Aurora drops her hand to the table and shakes her head, unable to hide the smile. 

She's going to kill Harry for spreading that bullshit to everyone. 

"So," Ava insists. "Did you or did you not?"

"Ava, c'mon. Of course not."

"And do you want to meet anyone?"

"Not right now, no."

"Why not?"

"Plenty of reasons."

"Name one," Maddie says, and Aurora sighs.

She's already had that exact same conversation with Maddie days ago, so she knows where she's trying to get at — she wants Aurora to admit she's ready to date people. 

Which, of course, she isn't. 

"C'mon, I just got divorced."

Ava furrows her brows, then turns to Maddie. "Didn't she divorce like… Four months ago?"

"Six, actually," Maddie says. "But they broke up months before that."

"Hmm…" She turns back to Aurora, then. "And how long are you supposed to wait 'till the memory of your shitty husband releases you from its chains?"

Aurora gasps, and so do Maddie and Megan. 

And then they all laugh. 

"Oh I love you, Av," Maddie murmurs, grabbing another grape and shaking her head.

Ava shrugs. "I mean, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna pretend I don't want you to put that asshole behind you, y'know."

Aurora rolls her eyes, then looks away. "Still, It's not just that." 

"What is it, then?"

"I have to focus on Noah right now."

"You can focus on Noah and still meet someone, tho," Megan says. 

Aurora turns to look at her, and so do Ava and Maddie.

"Oh my God." Megan widens her eyes, clearly speaking her mind when she didn't intend to. "Rory, I'm so sorry. I—"

"Don't apologize," Maddie says. "I told her the exact same thing the other day."

"Yeah, and it's exactly what I was thinking," Ava backs her up, too. 

Aurora laughs, and groans. "Girls, c'mon. Where am I even supposed to meet people? I don't… I never even leave the house."

"You left the house this weekend, didn't you?" Ava shrugs. 

"Well, yeah, but…" Aurora rolls her eyes. "Y'know." 

"But what?"

"But we are on a yacht?"

"And…?" 

"Oh c'mon!" She laughs. "I'm here with you guys. Unless you want me to, I don't know, meet the captain or something, I don't know who I'm supposed to meet this weekend."

"Mhmm… Ok then." Ava nods, and purses her lips. "So there's absolutely no-one, I mean no-one on this boat, that you could see yourself with?"

"What?" Aurora chuckles, drifting her eyes between her friends. "Of course not!"

Ava raises her eyebrows. "You sure?"

"Ava! Yes, I'm sure! What are you even—" 

"I'm back!" Lucy shouts, and Aurora shuts her mouth. 

All four of them turn to look at the stairs, waiting for their friend to come into sight. 

It takes Lucy a few seconds, but eventually she reaches the last step. Grinning, beaming, while holding a new glass in her hand. 

"Well, actually we are back." She giggles, walking past the jacuzzi and towards the table. "'Cause, y'know, I couldn't bring everything by myself so…"

And then, Harry comes into view, too.

He's holding a tray with four other glasses, biting his bottom lip while focusing on not spilling or dropping anything. Everything about him looks casual, and distracted. But apparently it is more than enough for Aurora's heart to stop for a second, and then speed up.

"Some might say it's a coincidence," Maddie whispers, and although she's looking at Ava, she's loud enough for Aurora to listen as well. "Others might say it's fate." 

"I know!" Ava gasps and chuckles, then shifts on her chair and straightens her back. She looks at Maddie over her shoulder, then at Aurora, then back at Maddie. "I say it's fate, by the way."

Aurora narrows her eyes. "What are you to—" 

"Harry, hi!" Ava says with a smile, intentionally cutting Aurora off while she faces him. The tone of her voice already suggests she's up to something (and that she isn't being subtle about it), but then she also crosses her arms on the table and leans into them, which seems to make it even worse. "How are you?"

Harry peeks at her, then furrows his brows. "Uhm… Good?"

Lucy takes her seat once again, then leans closer to Aurora and whispers, "I know you said no, but there's one for you anyway."

Aurora licks her lips. "Oh, okay. Thank—" 

"You're single, aren't you?"

Aurora shuts her mouth and looks at Ava, a slight sense of panic invading her soul. 

What is she doing?

Ava is still looking at Harry, though, so Aurora looks at him, too.

"What?" he asks, placing the tray on the table and narrowing his eyes. He shifts his gaze to Ava, then to Megan, and then across from them, to Lucy.

"Oh don't look at me," she says with a shrug. "I have no idea."

"It's just a question," Ava says, and shrugs. "Are you single or not?"

Harry looks back to Ava, then. 

"Yes. Why?"

"Mhmm…" Ava nods. "Interesting. And are you looking to meet anyone, or…?" 

Aurora's belly swirls. 

Fucking hell. She's going to kill Ava. 

Harry shifts on his feet, watching Ava with a look that's hard to understand, and then he darts his eyes straight into Aurora's gaze. 

And Aurora holds her breath. 

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Holy shit.

It's been only an hour or so since she got to stare into the green of his eyes, but it's like she's been missing it, because she doesn't want to let go of it. And she should let go of it. 

Right?

A moment of silence goes by, and Aurora's heart thumps loudly inside her chest. 

"Why?" he asks, right into her eyes. "Do you know someone?" 

Oh God. Why can't she let go of it?!

"Maybe…" Ava says, the hint of a hidden message loud and clear in her voice. 

And Aurora feels the shift in the air. How everything gets heavier somehow. How her ribcage gets smaller and her heart doesn't have enough space to beat as widely as it needs. 

So she looks down to her hands, not really wanting to be a part of that conversation anymore. Or not really knowing how to be a part of that conversation anymore. Because, honestly, what is going on?! 

Are her friends trying to set her up with Harry?

"Right." Harry clears his throat, then chuckles. "Well, let me know if that ever changes to a yes, then."

There's a beat of silence, but Aurora is too stunned to check what's happening.

"Oh we will," Maddie eventually says. "Don't worry."

Ava clears her throat. "Yes. But I think you'll know, tho."

Oh God…

Aurora's nauseous. And overheated. And breathless. Plus, she's pretty sure her heart is having an arrhythmia right now. 

She can't take her eyes off her hands, but she absorbs the seconds of silence as he seems to walk away, and also drinks in from his voice when he speaks again. 

"Oh, by the way, you're being summoned downstairs for a jump in the water." 

"Oh, yes! That's right!" Lucy says. "We'll be there in a minute."

"Ok." 

That's the last thing she hears from him, and then all the girls just stay in silence. As if watching him walk away. 

A few painful moments go by, until they all erupt into giggles and squeals — all but Aurora, of course. 

"Oh my God!" Ava breathes out. "What was that? The tension? You guys left me speechless! Me!"

"Rory, I'm begging you, please," Lucy says, grabbing her arm. "Please tell me you saw the way he looked at you." 

"I—What—" Aurora blinks. And shakes her head. And laughs. And mumbles. All at once. All at the same time. Confused. Dazzled. Puzzled. "Who—I mean, what?!"

"Oh my God!" Lucy squeals, and giggles. "Look at you! You're blushing!"

Aurora shakes her head, then covers her cheeks with her hands. "No I'm not!" 

"Girls," Maddie chuckles. "

She was looking right back at him

"And of course she saw the way he looked at her," Megan chuckles. "C'mon, she was looking right back at him!"

"What? No I wasn't." 

"Yes, oh my God! You totally were!" 

"What happened in that plane, huh?"

"Did you join the mile high club?"

"What?!" 

"Oh my goodness, did you really?"

"No!"

"Did your flight really get delayed?" 

"Because it's totally okay if it didn't!" 

"Totally, yes!"

"Oh my God! Girls!" 

"It's that why he's been calling you Mrs. Styles?"

Aurora laughs, rubs her forehead, and stands from her seat. "I—I can't… I need to—"

"This's so cute!"

Aurora shakes her head, walking towards the stairs. "I'm not doing this."

"Roryyy, come here!"

"Nope," she says, reaching the stairs. 

"Oh, c'mon!"

"I just… I need to use the bathroom."

"Bathroom. Mhmm…" Maddie shouts, her voice filled with teasingness and playfulness. "You go, babes. And say hello to Harry from me!" 

Aurora rolls her eyes and flips them off, then follows the same path Harry went through just minutes ago. And although she tries to keep a serious expression on her face, the truth is that she can't — she just can't — get rid of that foolish, silly, and incredibly stupidly huge smile that's creeping on her mouth. She just can't. 

So she doesn't.

The moment Aurora leaves the bathroom is the exact same moment Harry reaches the last step of the stairs, and they both bump into each other.

He places his hands on her shoulders, as if keeping her in place, but also maybe just holding himself. 

"Ops."

"Sorry."

Aurora chuckles, and Harry chuckles. 

He slides his hands off her shoulders, and she takes a step back, looking him up and down. And she doesn't mean to do that — she swears she doesn't mean to do it — but Harry changed his clothes and she just can't help herself. Because instead of being black with flamingos on it, his shirt is beige now. And instead of pants, now he's wearing black swimming shorts. And instead of those cute yellow shoes, now he's wearing white flip flops. And there's just so… 

Shit. 

Aurora swallows.

There's just so much new skin suddenly exposed. So much tanned skin. Inked skin. And also perfectly carved abs. And manly, dark body hair.

Shit.

She licks her lips. 

He's just so… 

You know…

So…

She closes her eyes. 

Fucking shit, he is just so fucking hot.

Harry clears his throat, and Aurora blinks.

The smirk is blatantly obvious on his face, and a wave of heat spreads from Aurora's chest to the back of her neck, and all over her cheeks. 

Thankfully, he doesn't say anything about the fact that she's been openly staring at his body. And that he clearly noticed it. Instead, he tilts his head towards the stairs, motioning to the floor — deck — where he was coming from when they bumped into each other.

"I left your bag in your bedroom," he says. "I hope that's okay."

"Oh, mhm, of course." She nods. "Thank you."

"Of course." 

He nods, too, then settles comfortably inside her eyes. 

Green irises holding her captive yet all over again. 

There's a beat of silence, and the distant voices of their friends are the only reminder she has that they aren't alone anymore. 

"I don't really know where my bedroom is, tho."

Harry chuckles. 

A beautiful sight that has her smiling, too.

"It's right next to mine," he says. "Theo said you're sharing with Maddie?"

"Oh." She nods. "Right."

She didn't know that, but it makes sense. Since they're the only two girls who don't have a boyfriend or husband to share a bed with. And all that. 

"Want me to take you there?"

"To my bedroom?"

"I mean, yes. To show you where it is."

"Oh…" Aurora bites the insides of her bottom lip, and nods. 

Does she want Harry to take her downstairs and show her the bedroom while all of their friends are upstairs? Ye— No!

Shit.

Aurora shakes her head. Vehemently. "I mean, no. Thanks. It's fine. I mean, I'm sure Lucy wants to show me around. Stuff like that. Y'know." 

"Right, yeah. That's true."

Another beat of silence. 

And another one.

"Are you girls coming outside with us?"

"Mhm…" Aurora nods. "We'll… Y'know… We'll probably have to change first, but… Yeah. Mhm. Change our clothes. Then we'll go."

Oh my God? Why the fuck is she suddenly acting like this? What's wrong with her?

"Oh, of course." 

Harry clears his throat and looks down at his feet, then another beat of silence echoes between them. 

A long one, by the way. 

"So…" He speaks again, and moves back into her eyes. "How are you doing? Everything good so far?"

"Mhm, thanks!" Aurora smiles, trying her best to keep herself together. "I'm having a really good time. Yeah."

Harry smiles, too. "Good. Glad to hear that."

Another beat of silence.

And another one.

And another one.

Harry lifts his arm, and points behind him. 

"Well, I should probably—"

"Wait!" 

Harry drops his arm back to his side, and tilts his head. "Yeah?" 

"I'm just…" Aurora closes her hands into fists, and presses her lips together for a moment. Making sure her voice is softer and calmer when she speaks next. And that her words will, at least, make sense. "I'm sorry… About your mum."

Harry blinks, then curves his mouth into a gentle and caring smile. "I know. Thank you, Auri."

Auri. 

Her heart skips a beat. She'd no idea she would suddenly miss a nickname that no-one but him ever used. A nickname that up until that morning she didn't even remember existed in the first place. 

"I'm also really sorry for not knowing, and for not being there for you when it happened."

Harry sighs. "I don't want you to apologize for that. I mean, I realized you didn't know when you asked about her in the car, so… It's fine. Really. I don't want you to stress over this."

"Okay… But I just…" She shakes her head. "Look, I just want to make sure you know I'm sorry, okay? Because I care about you and I don't want you to think I don't. So, I don't know, can you please just… Maybe just say okay? And thank you? And then we leave it at that?" 

The look on his face and the soft, timid smile reveal more than she needs to know, but it gets even better when he chuckles, and then when he still reassures her with his words. "Thank you Auri." 

"Good. Thank you." She smiles, too. "Now, can I just… I mean… Can I at least give you a hug? I know it's a late hug but, y'know…" 

She shrugs, and Harry grins at her. 

"You really think you need my permission to hug me?"

"I don't—I don't know!" Aurora chuckles. "What if I just go for it and you don't… Y'know. Don't want to, or… I don't know."

He rolls his eyes and steps closer, already reaching for her waist. 

"Just shut up and c'mere," he says, sliding his hands and arms around her back, then pulling her into his chest. 

Aurora smiles and stands on her tiptoes, circling his neck with both arms while resting her chin on his shoulder. 

And then, she sighs. Because that feels really nice. And really good. 

Harry squeezes her, gently but tightly, then pulls his head back slightly, just to be able to press a kiss to her cheek.

It's wet, and it's loud. And her skin tickles. 

She bites her lip, and he moves his mouth closer to her ear. Curls and stubble brushing over her.

"Thank you," he murmurs, slightly digging his fingertips into her back — almost, almost, pushing her closer to him. "Just so y'know tho, you should always go for it. And I always want to."

Her belly flutters, and she closes her eyes. 

He just keeps doing those things… Saying those things… You know? And it's just… It's just so… Confusing? Because, honestly, 'I always want to'? What does he even mean by that? Who says something like that? 

"Yesss!" Ava shouts, and it doesn't take a second for Aurora to pull away from their embrace. 

Blinking. Suddenly flushed. Suddenly dizzy. Suddenly out of breath. Suddenly feeling her heart thump so loudly inside her that she's convinced it'll burst out of her chest. 

"She's here!"

Harry's eyes are soft on her, though. Calm. As if he's completely unaware of what he's doing to her. Or maybe as if he's aware of it, but completely satisfied with her reaction. 

Either way, it's like he is… Reassuring her. Like he's trying to let her know that it's not a big deal. And that it's okay. Because it's him, y'know? And it's always been okay with him. So why wouldn't it also be okay now? Confusing, but still okay.

Or… 

Maybe it's none of that. Maybe she is just projecting, because maybe she is the one trying to reassure herself. 

Who knows. 

Either way, it somehow works. Because she takes a deep breath in, and her heartbeat slows down. 

"Yes, he's here too!" Ava shouts again. "You owe me five bucks!"

Aurora and Maddie's room it's simple, minimalistic and fancy — pretty much like the entire yacht. 

Her duffel bag is on top of the queen size bed she'll be sharing with Maddie, and there's a window allowing the daylight to brighten up the space. There are also two bedside tables, a wardrobe, and a tv. Plus enough room for all of them to comfortably hang out together while she rummages through her things to find a change of clothes. 

Ava, Lucy and Megan are comfortable on the bed, Maddie stands around the wardrobe while she puts her own stuff away, and Aurora sits on the floor, right by her bedside table. 

"Can you hand me my bag, please?" she asks.

"Sure." Megan grabs it from her feet and brings it closer to her reach.

"Thanks."

"I'll just ask one last question," Lucy says, sitting against the headboard and next to Megan. "And then I promise we won't touch the subject again, ok?"

Aurora drops her bag by her side, between her thigh and the bedside table, then nods. 

"'Kay," she says, bending her legs by the knees and looking at her. "One last question, then."

"How are things with Zack? Is he treating you better?"

She purses her lips and scratches her nose, mulling over the words to make sure she gives them the most honest answer she's able to. 

After Ava found her and Harry sharing a hug, the girls spent as much time as they could teasing the hell out of her — no matter how many times she told them it wasn't like that and it didn't mean anything more than a hug between two friends. 

The jokes only stopped when each moved to their own bedroom to change into swimsuits. Minutes later, when they met again in Aurora and Maddie's room, they kept laughing about the most random and insignificant things, not really putting her on the spot anymore. 

So it kind of felt natural that the conversation eventually ended up shifting back to Aurora's life, mostly because it was clear her friends still had questions to discuss. 

Which doesn't surprise her, but it also doesn't thrill her. 

"Sometimes, yes," Aurora says. "We still fight a lot over Noah, tho. Like, he doesn't like the fact that I signed him up for preschool, so he keeps messing up his routine, and then I'm the one who has to deal with Noah's tantrums. So, y'know, sometimes it's just really exhausting, but—" 

"Wait," Ava says, laying on her stomach and resting her chin on the palm of her hand. "He doesn't want Noah to go to preschool? Why?" 

Aurora shrugs — although she knows the answer pretty well. 

"Because I did it so I could go back to work, and Zack doesn't want me to."

"Sorry," Megan says. "He doesn't want you to work?"

Aurora shakes her head. "Nope. I mean, it's not going to stop me from doing it" — not anymore, at least — "but he definitely never planned for me to go back."

Ava shakes her head. "That's really fucked up."

"God I hate him so much," Maddie mumbles, her face hidden inside the wardrobe. 

"I know…" Aurora sighs, and shrugs. "And guys, I love Noah, ok? I really love him. It's not like I want to work because I don't want to take care of him. I swear. I just—"

"Rory, stop," Lucy says, pulling her hair into a bun on the top of her head. "We all know that." 

"Yeah," Ava says, sitting up in bed. "That's not something you need to clarify. Nobody would ever doubt how much you love Noah."

"You're such a great mum," Megan says. 

"Damn you are," Maddie says. She takes a step back from the wardrobe and turns around, holding a pair of earrings and white sunglasses. "Zack never did half of what you do, he never stopped one minute of his day to take care of Noah, or to be a decent husband to you, but he still expects your entire life to stop? C'mon!" 

The girls agree, murmuring yeah, and exactly, or nodding along. 

"The only reason why he thinks he's allowed to be a dick to you," Maddie adds, "it's 'cause he has one." 

"Totally, yeah," Ava says. "He doesn't even deserve to have a dick, in the first place." 

"Who's got a dick?" Niall asks, popping his head into the room and smirking at them. 

"Maddie," Ava jokes, sitting on the mattress and crossing her legs. 

Niall walks in and hums, tapping Aurora's head before sitting on the bed, next to his girlfriend. He kisses Megan's cheek and smiles, then turns to look at the girls and places his hand on Megan's thigh. Just like Zack used to do. 

Aurora looks away, then turns and kneels in front of her bag, facing all the clothes she doesn't feel comfortable enough to wear.

It's hard to stop the memories from taking over her mind, though. 

And she knows it's a really small gesture, but it's also one that Zack used to do to her a lot — albeit in a different way, or for different reasons. It happened usually at Zack's business dinners and under the tables, but sometimes he would do it when they were around family and friends, too. He never explained the code to her, but somehow Aurora still learned it — Zack would put his hand on her thigh and squeeze twice, and she would know it was time for her to shut up and stop embarrassing him. 

"Sometimes I wish I had," Maddie says, and Aurora scratches her nose. Then her temple. Then her forehead. Almost as if pushing her thoughts away. Pushing her memories away. "But right now we're actually talking about Zack's dick."

"Oh…" Niall clears out his throat, then chuckles. Sounding as awkward and uncomfortable as Aurora feels. "Right… Maybe we should keep his name out of this trip, yeah? Or at least his dick."

Aurora twists her fingers around the fabric of her swimsuit, listening to the conversation but not really engaging with it. 

She's the only one who isn't ready yet. The only one who still hasn't changed her clothes. The only one who still isn't comfortable enough to show off her body to all of her friends. 

"We were just saying having a dick doesn't allow him to question Aurora's decisions, babe," Megan says. 

"Ohhh," Niall said. 

"Especially as a mother," Ava added.

"Moonshine," Niall calls. He touches her shoulder, and Aurora peeks at him through the corner of her eyes. "Y'know I'll gladly cut his dick off, right? Anytime. Just gotta say the word."

Aurora laughs and shifts around, sitting on her heels as she looks at her friends taking over her bed — plus Maddie, now standing by the window on the opposite side. 

"Thanks guys. But I think—" She shakes her head. "No, I know I'm gonna be okay. So I agree with Ni, I think we should keep his name out of the conversation." 

"And his dick," Niall points out, raising a finger. 

Aurora chuckles. 

"Especially his dick. I mean, it wasn't even a good dick anyway."

She shrugs, but the loud laughter that erupts from everyone ends up making her grin, too. 

And just like that, as everyone tries to catch their breaths again and engage into different conversations, Aurora feels light and breeze again. So she pulls her swimsuit from her bag and gets up, finally getting enough courage to take the next step.

She turns around, then, and falls straight into Harry's eyes. 

Shit.

He's standing by the door, leaning on his shoulder and smirking at her. Watching her. Holding an expression she hasn't seen so far. It isn't an affectionate smile, it also isn't a sweet or careful smirk. And his gaze is so intense that she feels her body warming up — that she feels herself blushing. 

It seems as if he is holding himself from saying something cheeky. Or as if he's keeping a secret. As if he knows something that she doesn't, and as if he's enjoying it.

She breathes in, then holds the fabric tightly with both hands and steps forward.

"What?" she murmurs, getting closer to him and trying to keep their friends out of the conversation.

"Nothing." He shrugs, stepping aside to let her get through the door. "Just listening, that's all." 

Aurora nods. "Mhm. Okay, then."

When she walks past him, she notices how he follows the movement of her body and turns around. And also how he crosses his arms on his chest and leans his back against the narrow wall that separates their bedroom doors. 

Once again, a fluttery feeling settles in her belly. And as she moves towards the bathroom, she does her best to avoid it. And also to ignore the way his eyes keep burning into her. 

She can't, though. So when she grabs the doorknob of the bathroom door, she holds herself tightly, and turns her head as much as she can, watching him over her shoulder. 

He's still watching her, carefully, although now his sight seems to be too low to meet her eyes. 

"Harry?"

Harry drifts his eyes up, meeting her stare. 

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He shrugs. "Just… Watching. That's all."

She lifts her eyebrows. "Mhm. What were you just watching, then?"

He shrugs again, but he also smirks — and he smirks in such a way that, even before he opens his mouth, she knows he's about to lie.

"The back of your head?"

Aurora stares at him blankly for a second, and then she snorts. And laughs. She doesn't know what to say, though, so she faces forward and opens the door. As if she doesn't know Harry was just checking her out. And as if he didn't just playfully admit he was. Or as if she doesn't care about any of that.

And yet, as she steps forward and feels he's still watching, she maybe slows down a little. And maybe she makes sure to sway her hips. Maybe, though. And also just a little. Just in case. 

Because maybe, maybe, if Harry's watching, Aurora wants to make sure he's taking a good look. And maybe, she wants him to enjoy the view. And maybe she wants him to like what he sees when he looks at her.

Maybe, though.

Of course.

Hi! If you've made it here, thank you for reading. You have absolutely no idea how much it means to me.

PART 4 (II)

[fantomette22]

Ok, let’s hear about your favorite Gehrman and Maria happy AU!!

With pleasure!!!! :D

Ok so for context yesterday I refound this post :

And I was like "hey guys in my happy AU Gehrman could totally get or make something like this for Maria!" And then it spiralled into "oh I completely forgot to explain my bloodborne "happy ending AU" so there it is finally I guess. I think I only share to a couple of persons so far XD (I have a few others many different AU and darker but it isn't for today).

I already did a few drawings in link with it : here, here, here and there. Yeah with the gehrmaria ship involve so pass your way if that isn't your thing.

I did end up making the cottage house of the AU in Minecraft since a few months ago by the way XD I even have a tanner, hunter and a freaking cleric villager who now took possession of the house 😂😭 even Laurence decided to live here now I can't. I would need to redo it I kinda screw up proportions I think. Sadly Minecraft bedrock doesn't offer to put many details. I guess it would be better in the sims? If someone knows a good game to built house (and 19th century one) I'm taking it!

So now about the AU it's kinda an AU of my fic verse who can be consider like an AU as well I suppose (even if I tried to stay as canon complaint as possible in this one). Like you can guess from the name Yharnam doesn't became hell on earth and most people don't end up dying horribly. I will copy paste below the summary so you I can explain it better.

Bloodborne happy/good ending AU Summary :

Basically after bloodborne game event (in my fic verse interpretation) our dear baby squid good hunter decided it was rewind time and give everyone a 2nd chance. Don't ask me how

Then it's not clear but either the souls of everyone were taken and yet back in their old self, decades earlier of if people from the past dreamed of the future or a weird mixt of both. But it's what happened. Decades before the game invent (Byrgenwerth era) people started wake up and remember events that haven't happen yet + message from the new great one that they were giving a 2nd chance to make things right etc. It feels like a very strange dream but they knew it was real. Some people remember more than other and they especially remember their own future and they lived/are gonna live+ a couple of other things in game event for exemple.

Now it's up to them to not make the same mistakes and make things right.

So imagine it’s like 2-3am at Byrgenwerth, everyone wake up from well this dream/ nightmare and they basically remember everything that happened to them. So you haven hundreds of people outside in their pyjama. Crying, hugging, and some almost throwing hands with others 💀 quite emotional. I know it’s pretty crazy (i don’t have everything settle yet)

*Yeah you have people who were basically bestie at the time almost punching each other because one betrayed the other years later lol and people who didn’t like each other at Byrgen but become friends way later are hugging and crying. Some people were really confused xD like the one who die earlier on the timeline or weren't very important or just leave this mess early.

So of course you have Laurence & Gehrman crying and holding each other in pyjama in the middle of the dark campus. Then Maria show up in the distance 👁️👁️  it’s even more of an emotional reunion.

So you have this 2 idiots then Maria show up in the distance, they’re stunned and then Laurence tells him « what the hell you’re waiting for just go!!!» so he runs extremely fast (maria too) and they stop a few meters away from each other just staring. Then he tried to apologize says he’s sorry for everything. « YOU’RE SORRY?! » she’s kinda mad and sad about everything that happened she kinda hit him but he is surprise it’s not that hard then she hugs him and they hug each other and cry. (Yeah the Doll is discuss a bit later it's all good)

At some point Laurence try to eclipse himself and Maria’s like « you fucking stay here! » because she have things to say to this dumbass too.

So everyone reunite and all. With Caryll/ Rom/ Ludwig etc.They are hugging and all and then you have like Damian trying to kick Mico’s ass and nobody stopping him XD

Also Charles and Laurence threw hands 💀it’s a mess.

*People who’re not suppose to be very friends at this era are in each other arms and some bff are like throwing hands.

Then Willem show up and tell everyone to shut up and calm down 😂

Charles and Maria later go to Cainhurst to hug all their family who slightly remember all the shit too. And so it don’t cause a war again as well 😂 because they're kinda salty about their nightmares were the church + executioners killed them.

Anyway they all kinda calm down and some times later they’re all reuniting by Willem & Laurence because we need to talk about what the hell happened. « Yep that was real » now time to change it. 

After this mess and discussing what the hell happened and « we need to changed things! » they need to make a big plan how to avoid the fishing hamlet pb and save the orphan. they also can't just not use blood because it does save lives so it's quite complex.

So years later (because the beginning of it during like Maria, Ludwig, Caryll & Rom's hm 3rd of 4th years of university) they manage to make sure the hamlet don't became fishmen, and help Kos give birth (she isn't dead yet but her physical body do die afterwards). And baby orphan is fine and taking care off 👍

Then it's party time 😎 Well they still have things to take care of but I didn't thought of all the details yet. So Maria & Gehrman officially get together 🎉 (never really happened in my main interpret, it's complicated) and some times later travel between Yharnam and other places to help people around (to put it shortly).

THEN they buy a house next to a forest and a small village and live there for some time, maybe start a family etc (see the drawing with the baby!! I won't get into all the family detail today through). So they got the cottage/country house ✨

How they found it? Well funny story one day old hunters were on the mission (not the happy au but fic verse) and the mayor leave the house to them so they could sleep for a few nights and Gehrman really liked the house and even made a deposit for it for a few years if one day he wanted to buy it XD

Then after some time they accidentally adopt a lil dog too (before the huge white wolfhound years later) XD

Something like this. Need to find a name for this lil guy.

And recently I've been thinking a cat could be cool too. A really fluffy one

I made those 2 other sketches last year in link with the AU as well. I never share those so there it is.

And I have a fic planned (1-2 chap max for now), an entire summary, a chapter plan and even a few sentences written for this AU in particular. But idk when I could write it. And I could even have 2 versions depending the rating @_@ so maybe one day...

So yeah it's a bit messy but it's all the fluff & some other things I need. And that's it for now!

[emilylprentiss]

Criminal Minds | 7.04 | Painless

[silverspleen]

Me: I am an adult, and have made excellent strides in processing my prior Issues.

My brain: BITCH U THOUGHT

[sysig]

See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)

[andthebeanstalk]

I... have deep-fried... my nervous system. I have overdone it today and thus I have done myself a hurt. I am a small zombie of a man. And also I am not a man. I am very very cute and also braincell supplies are running alarmingly low. I have many unread messages. I have autism. I have 6,000 thoughts on Arnold Judas Rimmer and his Longterm Hetero Roommate-ship with Dave Lister.

I am 7/8ths of the way to completely comatose and what remains of my brain is still like "do not worry my dude i will continue to produce images of the old space men kissing.

"I know it feels like the flu wrapped a lemon around a sledgehammer and then artfully rearranged your skull with it but so long as there is a single ounce of life left in this body then by God there will be gay thoughts about chicken soup machine repair man David Lister."

and what I'm saying is I don't understand how the emergency power reserve system ended up this way but I think it is also keeping me sane in Deep Space

[tristanrambles]

Me through clenched teeth with a white-knuckled grip on my pen: My Art has Value, the Only One who has to Like it is Me, My Art has Value---

[likesummerrainn]

.