#SW Crack

[bisexualvader]

[gamelpar]

there are few things more powerful than the 15+ cups of caf Fox lives on every day

[lothcatthree]

need an episode of thorn spraying fox with a water bottle every time he mentions killing the chancellor

thorn, holding fox by the scruff of his neck: “stop *spray* talking *spray* mutiny *spray* we’re going *spray* to get *spray* decommissioned”

fox, dripping wet and hanging, crossing his arms: “and that’s bad why”

[eleanordarkholme]

I'm thinking about a Bail Organa lives fic and it is going to have the appropriate amount of pain, angst, hurt/comfort, and family love. But there is one interaction that I hope will be as amusing as it is in my head.

Han Solo: Look I know you'd rather Leia be with someone like Luke.

Bail Organa(suddenly freaking out because he forgot to mention a certain little fact): No. No. I would not want Leia to be with Luke. Never Luke.

Han Solo(big brother mode): Hey, what's that supposed to mean? The kid is great. He's kind, sweet, and smart. And he's got those puppy dog eyes that can make you bend to his will within seconds. You'd be lucky to have him part of the family.

Bail Organa: That's right. He's like a son to me. Have to go now! Please excuse me! (Runs off to tell Leia and Luke they're siblings before they make out).

Han Solo(confused): Kriff, is the kid like his secret love child or something?

And then Han spends the next couple of weeks, thinking how he's gonna break the news to Luke and Leia about the truth of their father.

[corellianhounds]

Was thinking about who of TBB it would be funniest to find out mid-mission has an ex-wife (because objectively, Crosshair) but then I realized all of them would be funny in different ways

“Echo I thought you were married to your job! To justice!”

“all right LISTEN—”

“Wait how did you guys… y’know…”

“🙄 I’m a cyborg not a monk.”

“Also I thought you were dating that one senator?”

“?? I thought he was with the Twi’lek mechanic?”

“Wait hold on, I thought you were going out with the corsair captain from the job on Savareen—”

“No that was the rumor Wrecker started during sabacc night with Phee—”

“It wasn’t a rumor, I saw them in the back of the Marauder—!”

“Can we please focus on the task at hand”

Wrecker’s starting to sweat as everyone turns to look at him. Maybe if he stands very still they won’t notice.

Hunter crosses his arms. “… Wrecker.”

“IT WAS ACCIDENT, IT WAS ONE NIGHT AT THE MOONLIGHT LOUNGE, SHE SAID SHE NEEDED [xyz], I COULDN’T JUST LEAVE HER, SHE LOOKED SO LONELY—”

“Ah.” The rest of the guys all nod to each other, speaking in unison. “Canto Bight.”

“HUNTER YOU GOTTA HELP ME, I CAN’T THINK AROUND HER, I WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST—”

“Woah wait what hold on now”

“I’M TELLING YOU WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW. SHE’S CRAZY AND I CAN’T HELP IT, I DO WHATEVER SHE SAYS”

“Wrecker she’s like five feet tall, how can she make you—”

“SOMEONE HIDE ME, SHE’S COMING OVER—”

“I don’t think ‘hiding’ is an option for you—”

There’s a host of incredulous looks from the variety of people present at the revelation. Tech’s stalwartly not looking at any of them.

“TECH?!?”

“… Ah. Well. I thought I had that annulled.”

“SO IT’S TRUE?!”

“Technically yes, but—”

Rex, jokingly: “Tech I didn’t think you knew what women were.”

“Actually Tech lost his v-card before the rest of us.”

“he WHAT—?!”

“That was a long time ago—”

Omega: “What’s a v—”

*all the other brothers speaking up at once*: “Don’t Worry About It.”

“CROSSHAIR?!”

“Yeah? And? Mind your own business.”

“wait did you say CROSSHAIR—?”

“Will you two shut up—”

“What are we yelling about?”

“Crosshair has an ex-WIFE??”

“CROSSHAIR? That Crosshair?!”

“Okay now you guys are getting on my nerves—”

“Wait did I just hear you say Crosshair was married? To a woman? Crosshair??”

“Someone married you?? On purpose?? Was she aware??”

“I have no problem shooting people.”

“All right, calm down we get it—”

“Yeah apparently even Crosshair gets some”

*muffled sounds of screaming, Crosshair fighting Wrecker in the distance*

They’re all standing there in stunned silence. The half of Hunter’s face they can see is darkening by the second as he hides behind one hand, thoroughly embarrassed. No one wants to say anything first because 1. He’s still technically the one in charge so how do you go about asking something about said revelation without being put on cleaning duty for the rest of the month and 2. Hunter??

“… So. Sarge.”

*sigh* “What”

“How exactly did you find the time?”

“Or the conversation skills?”

“Or the money?”

“Was it the hair?”

“The tattoo?”

“The bandana? Man, I gotta get me a bandana—”

“Boys.”

“I’ll be honest Hunter, I also thought you didn’t know what women were— Like it makes sense for Echo to get all the women, just look at him— But I didn’t think you’d even have the guts to start a conversation. No offense.”

“… Some offense taken, if I’m honest…”

Omega: “Hunter the real question is, why is she trying to kill us? She said she missed you—”

*gunshots* *everybody scrambling for cover*

Hunter sighed, half-glaring from their hiding spot. “Yeah, well… Her aim is getting better.”

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I don’t know what the force was trying to tell me but I had a dream where post order 66 the clones wouldn’t stop breeding with the civvies like rabbits and caused a massive baby boom in the galaxy- so I was scrolling through Rex’s list of known children like on the wiki and one of them was named Taco Bell????

Fucking Taco Bell??

[auditect]

Ladies, if your strong female character...

is a skilled pilot

can use force lightning without turning to the dark side

hails from a force-sensitive lineage

her weapon of choice is either a blue or a yellow/orange lightsaber

That's not your strong female character! That's Plo Koon!

[thekenobee]

Star Wars films plot explained by AO3 tags:

Phantom Menace:

Attack Of The Clones:

Revenge of The Sith

A New Hope

[forcesavetheclones]

Random thought of the day:

What if, while creating the clone army, the kaminoans chose a different bounty hunter than Jango Fett?

What if in another universe they chose someone like Cad Bane, and instead of having an urge to adopt a child all the clones have a need to wear obnoxiously large hats

[kbirbpods]

[Podfic Link] | Length: 4 minutes, 14 seconds

Original Work: True Confessions of a Clone Trooper by Mercutio

Clone Wars: Order 66 Happened Differently | Rating: Teen & Up

Summary: 

What if someone reprogrammed the chips and put in a different set of orders? What then? Or, what happens when order 66 is 'confess your sins' not 'kill the Jedi'.

Notes: ITPE 2024 treat for @avaniesque! Welcome to the "Palpatine Dies" club, friend!

[bloodsoaked-rainbows]

The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be ~unnatural~

or: ✨Peedy Date Night✨

[bisexualvader]

what my notifs look like currently

[gamelpar]

the holy trinity of batches

the bad, the good and the worst

[lothcatthree]

part 2

part 1

[bo-katan]

😭😭

[sunshinechildskywalker]

Please enjoy some highlights from my Star Wars marathon featuring old Snapchat filters- excuse the shaking, I was laughing my ass off🤣